#my husband is killing me

[flowerandblood]

my husband: go to church, it's Palm Sunday

me: no

my husband: I bet you don't even know what it commemorates

me: i know!!! Christ then rode on a donkey through the gates of Jerusalem

my husband: that's right. And how will they manage today without their donkey?

me:

[za1ka]

noooooooo Aziraphale don't turn around you won't survive the cunt this diva is serving

[aardvaark]

some of sophie devereaux’s most iconic & hilarious lines, in my humble opinion:

"what kind of world would it be if everyone who committed a silly little crime went to prison? complete madness!"

"EX art thief! EX!"

"is this about fear of the russian mob, or fear of intimacy?"

sophie: "i don't have a lot of rules in this world. three, actually - don't count the money till after the con, know when to walk away from the con, and-" nate: ""the gambler"? you're basing your life philosophy on a kenny rogers song?"

[after everyone’s been making fun of her accent in the rashomon job] "i hate you all."

sophie: "nate, i have to say, of all the deceitful, unprincipled, corrupt things i've done in my entire life - nothing is as bad as..." nate: "politics?" sophie: "i can’t even say it."

"i start telling the truth all day, i stop being sophie devereaux."

nate: "you’re not supposed to root for the criminals [in movies]." sophie: "always root for the home team."

"darling, nobody knows all of [my aliases]. not even me."

[about gifts for the team] "oh, i wouldnt say ‘bought’, exactly… we, ah, obtained."

"i am a grifter. if i’m doing my job right, then the mark just… [clicks tongue and mimes turning a dial] …turns off the alarm for me."

sophie: "pack your bags everyone, we’re going to make news!" [walks away dramatically] nate: "yeah, she’s walking into the closet."

[having been shot] "you wanker!"

[and-this-of-all-my-hopes]

Sometimes you just are trying to live out your day and then your brain thinks:

What if in the opening titles of Season 3 Aziraphale and Crowley aren’t walking together anymore.

[lotus-pear]

i miss them......please come back........please come home :((

[rookanisstuff]

“Oh Lucanis… I’m going to miss you.”

Lucanis funeral in like 30 years….. there was supposed to be a second part where she kissed the coffin but frankly it’s too damn sad!!!!! I can’t take drawing this anymore!!!!

[iwasthenightingale]

I will never be over the fact that for all the confusion and fear and panic and anger that goes through Aziraphale's face in the seconds after the kiss, for all the repressed feelings and the idiocy of his 'I forgive you', when Crowley walks away from him for what he thinks could be the last time he stutters out the softest, most desperately pleading '...no...'

[tubbytarchia]

Hey guys I think The Last Unicorn is such a Scott book

[ghostdrinkssoup]

currently reading the odyssey and odysseus’ fatal flaw isn’t trickery or hubris, it’s his unshakable need to go snorkmimimi wherever he goes

[sagekiin]

lead me, save me from my solitude. 🕯️

[afterthelambs]

This is how Shido's bossfight went down, trust me

[corneredcopia]

Yet again another reason Robotnik has to miss Stone, Gerald doesn’t match his silliness

[hikarry]

I honestly can't wait to see some absolutely unhinged angel boy 😌💅

[confuzing]

SQH doesn't really talk to Liu Yuan until after the wedding, once he's away from the twin scary dogs of LQG and SQQ. Of course LBH is the ultimate scary dog, but he usually ignores SQH unless absolutely necessary.

So you can imagine his shock when he walks in on Liu Yuan talking to his snake and hears this:

LY: I'm so sorry you aren't venomous honey, I know you want to murder people so so bad. I'm pretty sure Airplane mixed up 'poisonous' and 'venomous' honestly which-

SQH: WHAT

LY: Hello??

SQH: You- Airplane???

LY: *suspicious* ... ...Proud Immortal Demon Way?

SQH: You're a transmigrator?!? Actually that totally explains why you're here when I definitely didn't write about you...

LY: Wait. You wrote?

SQH: Yeah, I'm the author- were you active in the forums? Maybe I know your username?

LY: ...Peerless Cucumber.

SQH: ... ... Oh no.

LY: Do you have any last requests before I kill you with my bare hands you hack?

SQH: Don't do that??

LY: Request denied!

--------

Liu Yuan: You don't understand, I am catching All the Wife Plots.

SQH: Oh noooo....

Liu Yuan: We've been married three months and we've collectively been dosed with aphrodisiacs more times than I can count, I've been kidnapped twice, and poisoned like six times. I'm living in fear of waking up with amnesia or some shit.

SQH: Sounds like I need to round up antidotes.

LY: That would be great but I Cannot Help You, I don't wanna get stuck in a crystal for a decade or something.

SQH: That wouldn't happen!

LY: It happened to wives 231 and 98.

SQH:😬

[pararave]

a very cheezy comic for Steve's birthday

[princessdreamss]

me realizing some of y’all’s damn smut fics are actually making me find nam gyu and his fuck ass bob attractive