#my horrible little fic meta

[exhaslo]

Hello! I really enjoy the last post you wrote involving the alternative outcome of Villain!Miguel x Hero![Reader]. I have another fun idea and it may be a little META.

Since there are a ton of Spider-Man 2099/Miguel O’Hara fics circulating around the internet…

How about a request with Spider!Fem![Reader] who secretly reads fanfics and smut fics she found from different universes in the multiverse? Let's say the [Reader] was reading fics involving her boss and the leader of the Spider Society, Miguel O’Hara since she is completely DOWN BAD for him. Then one day, she’s reading some smut involving Miguel and he catches her doing so.

He’ll probably tease her about it and things would escalate to something hot and spicy between the two Spiders.

- @club-danger-zone

*Looks around* Shall we break some cannon events? RIP SORRY FOR BEING CRINGE BUT LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOO

Warning: Minors DNI, Smut, teasing, size kink, dirty talk

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This was getting bad. You needed to learn some self control. You kept telling yourself that, but it was difficult. You had a big problem that involved your fellow Spider, the boss man, the big bad leader of the Spider Society: Miguel O'Hara.

You were head over heels for the man. He was the definition of FINE. Honestly, you never even knew that such a Spiderman existed. You, yourself, was a Spider-Woman. Like everyone else, you had your story and your life. The only thing you didn't have compared to the others was a person who loved you.

No Mary-Jane.

No Gwen Stacy.

Hell, no Peter Parker.

You were your own variant. It frustrated you. So, when Miguel brought you along to the Spider Society, you ended up simping hard for him. You had so many wet dreams about him. So many nights with whatever sex toy you had in your closet. It was getting really bad. You needed to get laid or find something to entertain you.

"Heeeeey, (Y/N), guess what I stumbled upon," Lyla appeared before you.

You had just entered one of the guest rooms that some of the Spiders used to crash for the night. You turned towards the AI, taking off your suit.

"That you found or Miguel?"

"Me! Miguel would probably shut this down if he found out," Lyla said with a grin, sending you something.

You were suspicious, but checked your mail anyway. You were very close to Miguel, in his inner circle, so you had access to Lyla. A sharp gasp escaped your lips as you saw the file before you. Lyla just appeared before with with a confident grin.

"That word doesn't have a real Spiderman. Apparently the Miguel there is in a movie. Soooooo, there are soooooo many stories involving him. You're going to enjoy the smut~"

"I-I can't," You said as you opened the first website, "You are a horrible influence. I will not read these!"

---------

"Oh my god, keep going," You whispered as you clicked on the next chapter.

Your cheeks were bright red as a wide smile engulfed your face. You were enjoying all of this smut far more than you would like to admit. Hell, it made those dreams of yours even more vivid. While it did not help with your raging crush, it did get your mind off of currently wanting to fuck your boss.

"Yes!" You squealed in joy.

"Someone is in good mood." Miguel said as he walked by, "You've been focused on your watch for the past week. What could you be reading from another universe?" He asked.

Your face paled as you quickly hid your watch. Miguel would never talk to you again if he knew. Hell, he might kick you out of the Spider Society for conflict of interest. That was the last thing you wanted.

"(Y/N)?" Miguel questioned.

Miguel could sense your nervousness. His senses were higher than everyone's. Sighing softly, Miguel motioned you to follow him to his office. He had originally approached you for another reason. He could never ask you about it though. Once the two of you were alone, Miguel looked at his watch and started to type away.

"Let's see...(Y/n)'s watch."

"W-Wait! Miguel, before you do-"

"Oh-" Miguel immediately made eye contact with you, "I didn't even know there was a world like this. Very specific."

"I-I'm sorry! I was just curious and you know...The stories were just so good-"

"His tongue swirled around your clit?" Miguel's grin widen towards your flustered cheeks, "The sheer size of his dick made you feel full?"

"M-Miguel...Y-You d-don't-" You bit your lower lip, feeling your body warm up as he read the story.

"I never knew you were into all this smut, and about me none the less. That explains why you smelled extra sweet this past week," Miguel muttered the last part, watching you, "You know (Y/N), you don't need to read these."

You glanced towards Miguel, watching him approach you. Your heart was racing as his body pressed against yours, pinning you to the wall. You could feel his hot breathe. This wasn't what you were expecting. He was teasing you for reading porn about him!

"I could have helped you instead," Miguel whispered in your ear. You stared right into his lustful eyes,

"So...I'm not in trouble?" Your voice was low as you leaned closer to him. Miguel chuckled lowly, his thumb pulling against your bottom lip,

"Do you want to be?"

"Depends on the punishment," You felt dazed as you leaned towards Miguel's lips.

"Read the story to me," Miguel whispered as he licked your lips before pulling away.

You whimpered lowly, your body craving him. Why did he have to do this to you? Miguel was just so tempting. You were folding hard. Without hesitating you pulled the story up and you started to read the story.

"His hands gently stroked down y-your waist," Your breathing shuddered as Miguel's hands started to do as you read. "H-His hips g-grind-"

"What's wrong? Can't even read me a story?" Miguel chuckled lowly as you watched you melt under him.

"H-His d-dick-" You gasped lowly as Miguel started to grind his hips against yours.

You whimpered quietly as you felt your panties get damper and damper. Miguel's face was so close to yours. Miguel brought his lips to your neck as he held your hips closer. His fingers rubbing circles around your hips.

"What about my dick?" Miguel chuckled as he felt you trembled, "Such a naughty girl, reading such things about me. All you had to do was ask,"

Miguel slowly undid the bottom of your suit, exposing your soaked and desperate cunt. He lifted you onto his desk, demanding that you kept reading. Much to his amusement, you did. Miguel resisted a groan as he took his dick out, rubbing it against your folds. Your moans were so sweet.

"M-Miguel s-started....s-started to...to e-enter-" You stuttered, trying to focus on reading, but was getting distracted. You whimpered a moan as Miguel started to push his tip inside you.

"You're sucking me in so well, you've been wanting this for how long now?" Miguel held your waist, sliding his cock deeper into you, "I could have made you feel good so much sooner. Were you that oblivious to my gestures?"

You cried softly as you focused on Miguel's thick length stretching your walls out. Your back rested against his desk, muffling moans as you squeezed against him.

"I-I guess so?" You told him. Miguel scoffed lowly before thrusting into you, "Ah~ W-Wait~"

"After making me wait so long? After masking my office with your sweet scent so many times? Amor (love), I've waited long enough and so have you."

You cried out a series of moans as Miguel started to slap himself into you. His dick making itself at home within your pussy. It felt so right. Felt so much better than you doing it yourself at home. You wrapped your legs around Miguel's waist, wanting to get closer to him.

"Who do you think gave Lyla access to those stories?" Miguel chuckled as you cam against his dick, "I grew tired of waiting and wanted to give you a little push."

"H-Hah~ Mhm~ C-Can...C-Can we do what some of those stories did then?" You begged. Miguel raised a brow as he pinched your clit, watching you squirm,

"That and more. My naughty girl needs to be punished first."

You moaned to his wishes, having him use you for his pleasure. Tears formed in the corner of your eyes, feeling your body grow hot again. With a grunt and a deep thrust, Miguel cam inside you. You shivered from the feeling, crying out his name.

"That's right. Now you're being a good girl," Miguel panted softly, soaking in the state you were in, "As much as I would love to continue, I have some reports to do. Why don't you pick your favorite story and we'll continue this tonight?"

"Mhm," You nodded towards his request, watching Miguel fix himself.

Miguel smiled before stealing a kiss from you before leaving. You nearly squealed as you fixed yourself up. Looking through all your saved stories, you felt a new fire light up inside you.

"Ohhhhh, I'm getting wrecked tonight~!"

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Haha, hope you enjoyed this!

[jessilynallendilla]

DPXDC DANNY AND DAMIAN ARE SIBLINGS FIC REC

TITLE/LINK RATING COMPLETED-WORD-COUNT SERIES

DP FIC REC HOME POST

let me know if the links aren't working and feel free to suggest any

DEMON SIBLINGS 

Off With [The Demon's] Head  T SERIES 

As it turns out, Damian is not Talia's firstborn. Not her first child, not her first son. This would not be so horrible if Talia's actual firstborn hadn't been stolen from her as a babe. But he's alive. And he's not alone. As it turns out, Talia is a grandmother. She takes this news surprisingly well. If only Damian did the same. 

The Devil's After Both Of Us  T 6,143 SERIES 

Growing up, Danny's parents had drilled it into him and Jazz the dangers of summoning rituals. Unlike something like a natural portal or the one they built in the basement, a summoning ritual brought ghosts to you without any clear way to send them back home. After Danny's accident, he hadn't thought he needed to worry about summoning rituals anymore. After all, he kind of had his hands full with the whole "Ghosts are real and attacking him and also he's half-ghost now" thing. However, once Danny took up the crown of Ghost King, he found himself having to deal with summoning rituals from the other side. It wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't constantly confronted with ghosts of a past he had shoved deep down in his heart. 

Leap Before You Think  T 

Away from his friends and sister for the first time since the Accident, Danny struggles with loneliness and memories of another sibling. A few states away, Sam finds someone oddly familiar at a gala her parents force her to attend. 

Hey Brother  G 3,371 SERIES 

Danny was fourteen and Damian was now seven. And every day he wondered how his little brother went from a cute, giggling baby to a brat out of hell. or: 5 Times Damian Refuses to Call Danny by his Name and 1 Time He Does. or: We're bringing back the classing fanfic trope! Danny dies and gets reincarnated as Damian Wayne's older brother. 

Everything Is Something To Somebody  T 

After being outed to his parents and hunted down by an officially-lost-it Vlad, Danny finds himself down one home, two parents (who had gone full blown Hunter on him), a stable life and education, and a lot of blood. The only thing he had going for him was that the weird British guy he'd landed in front of seemed nice. Maybe he wouldn't turn him over to the Hunters. Meanwhile, Alfred just found a meta clone of Young Master Damian bleeding out in the Foyer, and is definitely Not Freaking Out. 

Seeds Of The Father  T 

Maddie Fenton had been out of the game for years. She had escaped her father and left the League of Assassins behind. But what is she going to do now that her sister has dropped a traumatized child into her lap? 

Birthright  T SERIES 

Now that Damian knew Danyal was alive he would do anything to keep him by his side. Anything. 

A Phantom's Perch  G 

Danny is on the run after his parents find out about phantom. He and Jazz end up in Gotham city where they run into a familiar face. 

King Daniel Aidan Phantom Of The Infinite Realms  T SERIES 

Basically my take on a Damian&Danny Twin AU, idk I'm bad at summaries. 

Tell Me To Stay  NR SERIES 

a summoning leads to familial reveals 

We Don't Have To Dance  T 21,739 

Danny's lost basically everything. After escaping his parents he flew as hard and fast as he could. Why did his core pull him to Gotham? And why did Robin look at him like that? 

Undead (Technically) Demon Twin  G 

Ra al Ghul had a daughter named Talia. Talia had a brief(ish) relationship with Bruce Wayne that resulted in twins Damien and Danyal Al Ghul. They grew up in Nanda Parvati, only really getting to hang out with each other if they were training or fighting. Danyal found out only one of the twins was going to be allowed to survive as Ra's heir, the other would die. Danyal did not tell Damien about this and handled it the only way he knew how.  He convinced Ra to send him on a mission, made the mission go horribly wrong, wired a building to explode, killing everyone else who had come on that mission with him, and left enough evidence for everyone to believe he perished in the blast.  From there Danyal changed his name to Daniel and got himself adopted by the Fentons. Things went about as well as things can go with ghost-obsessed parents and he ended up a half a through a freak portal accident.  Things went okay for a few years until the Fentons (the adults) found out, freaked, trying to kill him/Phantom.  Daniel fled and ended up in Gotham, found out his twin was a Wayne and didn't tell said twin he was alive. Shenanigans and a bit of robbery ensue. 

Blood Sons  T 3,677 SERIES 

Damian is confident he is the only blood child of Bruce Wayne because Talia killed any potential child of Bruce's alongside their mother. Bruce finds out years later at a gala. 

Hey, Who Is Damian?  T 

Ellie comes to Danny after she started having dreams of Danny’s memories, all of it seems pretty self explanatory until she had blurry visions of an identical boy named Damian Al Ghul. 

Family Wounds  T 13,130 

After Damian goes missing, it's all hands on deck to find him except the search turns up his duplicate in a nowhere town in the Midwest. But who is this person and was Talia hiding more than one child from Bruce? 

Origins (Pt. 1) Damian  G SERIES 

Damien had a twin, but the twin was killed. so sad. I'm going to try to update regularly but days blur together. Damien learns how to be a person. He wants to make his family proud and to fulfill his and his brother's dream. 

Family Means No One Gets Left Behind  T 

danny is damian's older brother and the reincarnation of fenton-phantom who remembers his old life and has some of his old powerset, but loves his family So Damn Much and wants them safe and sane again 

1(800) Adoption Papers NOT Needed! Its A Two For One Special! ( 1POV Version )  T 105,884 SERIES 

Dami thought Danny had died. Mother even told him so. So why is it years later that Danny calls for help While proceeding not to explain what he actually needs help with, is causing him so many problems 

Memories Lost In Time  M 

Danny just wants to play video games with his friends. He didn't ask for the ghost attacks to ramp up and utterly destroy his sleep schedule. But, it's fine. So long as everyone is safe, it'll be fine. But, why does he feel like he's missing something? Damian thought he'd grown used to abrupt changes in his life. But, when he sees a ghost of someone he knows has long since past, he's thrown off guard. It couldn't be him, could it? 

Surprise, It's Twins  T 

Bruce just wanted to know more about the new Ghost King and perhaps gain an ally, so why does this teenager look like his son? Why is Damian adamant his twin brother died when he's standing right in front of him? Danny wasn't expecting to see his birth father standing in his kitchen, but now that the ghost was out of the bag what was his next move? 

Two May Keep A Secret If One Of Them Is Dead  M 

He refused to be rushed. “Anyway, I decided to look more into the Wayne family, and there’s one kid that looks exactly like you, Danny.” Tucker flipped his phone around for his friends to see. “His name is Damian Wayne. He’s our age.” Tucker watched his friends for their reactions. Sam reached out for the phone so she could get a closer look. Danny…Danny stiffened, almost imperceptibly, before he fell into a fake relaxed stance. Danny's been keeping secrets. It's driving everyone mad. 

Hauntless King  NR 

When Danny first met JLD he was barely 17 and Amity had been gone a little over 7 months, now he was a month and a half away from turning 18. Most of the people of Amity had survived, but they had scattered due to the ecto contamination caused by his parents' portal exploding. They hadn't taken the news about him being Phantom well, and the fight that had happened led to damage to the portal that had caused a melt down. 

Some Kind Of Miraculous Bind  T 

Damian Wayne is the heir to the Bat, the Blood Son. Except, he wasn't always the only blood son. There was another, younger heir once, before Damian had left the league and his brother hadn't had the chance to join him. There was one alive heir to the Bat, and a second one, secret to all but him, that was gone. Danny Fenton is already tired of being the Ghost King. Not even six months into his reign, and he's having to deal with ectoplasmic leaking past Amity's borders and new, unknown threats against his people. And the fact that Gotham, the one city that he had mentally marked as off limits, seems to be where most of the problems are isn't helping. 

An Awkward Family Reunion  G 1,280 

Damian hates magic. Especially when a crazy magician decides to summon the ghost of his dead relatives to murder him. Including the brother he never mentioned to anyone. 

Different In Appearance And Personality  G 3,265 SERIES 

Damian wasn't the only one that Bruce decided to take and adopt from the League of Assassins, as it turned out Damian had a younger brother. Although it might not be his kid this time, he would never leave the poor boy with the evil league. What he didn't expect was how different the two siblings were, even though they were raised in the same place. 

Older Brother [Title Is Still To Be Determined]  NR 

Damian and Danyal never have the same lessons. Damian and Danyal never have the same teachers. Daniam and Danyal never have the same missions. Damian and Danyal never have been treated the same. And for all Damian have ever experienced. He always thought that he was treated the worst. 

I’ve Been Erased Yet My Shadow Remains  M 10,835 SERIES  

Danny and Damian al Ghul are twins, separated for years. Now, a 16-year-old Danny, injured and afraid after his parents found out what he was, with nowhere else to go; only wants his twin brother. So he travels to Nanda Parbat to find Damian, who he thinks is still a part of the League of Assassins. A 16-year-old Damian travels to Nanda Parbat to steal the weapon Ra’s al Ghul has been making and finds someone he never thought he’d see again. 

Gone But Not Forgotten  T 

Danny Fenton's life sucks, somewhat. He has an amazing sister and friends but his parents are getting suspicious and G.I.W. are closing in. He is running out of excuses and there is only one person who could help. His sister would move mountains to save him, would his brother do the same? 

Acid Eyes  NR SERIES 

Danny remembers when he was a child, hugging the only person that ever gave him any comfort, his twin Damian. But Danny gave that up for his brothers safety, he was Damian’s shadow, meant to be a viper in the dark. So when he left and let his death stay like that from the advice of his mother, he ran away to Amity Park. Now, he has to run away from Amity before the Fenton’s can destroy him after they find out his identity as Phantom. Having nowhere to stay, and still away from his brother with a plot brewing from within Gotham, how will Danny learn to live and still protect his brother, especially with the bats around. 

Persephone’s Pearls  T 42,904 

When Danny came to live with them, he had no real memories of his past. That didn't mean he didn't know anything, though, and what he did know he had shared with his very-willing-to-learn sister. Everything from a strange fighting style to a language. Years later, Jasmine overhears a boy bitterly talking about socialites under his breath and immediately reprimands him, only to realize it's not her brother. It's Damian Wayne. Speaking the League of Assassin's dialect. Who now has to worry about assassins at the art gallery. Jokes on him, they're there to be thieves. And long lost twin brothers with amnesia. Cause nothing's easy. 

Facing His Demons (Or The Demon’s Grandson)  T 

Danny is forced by circumstances out of his control to reconnect with Damian, the long lost twin he’s been purposefully not contacting due to Trauma. 

Forgotten Demon Twin  T SERIES 

Damian forgets he has a twin brother who had been exiled when they were seven. It's time to go pick him up and take him off the assignment. Danny just wants to be left alone in his little city so he can protect it. He doesn't need to be around the twin brother who never talked to him except to belittle him when they were younger... and he definitely doesn't need to be followed by the furry brigade. 

Death Just Can't Seem To Stick  T 

Damian killed Danny (birth name Damon) when he was six and Danny was 10. But death doesn't seem to want to stick.  

The Fenton Twins  G 15,151  

The Demon Twins are unique in the League of Assassins, being the only children. With no precedent to guide their tutors, it's recommended that they have a mission together before their first solo ones. Jasmine Fenton finds two amnesiac boys in a park, not one. This changes the timeline irreparably. Now the pair are just fourteen, and a suspicious car accident has taken their adoptive parents from them. But Damian Fenton has a secret; his memory had returned to him several months prior, when Danyal had his accident in the ghost portal. With his knowledge, the twins and their adopted - but very important, very close, deeply protected - sister decide to make the trek to Gotham in the hope that Batman is willing to take them in. That's not the only thing to hope for, of course. Going to Gotham means they may be spotted. And neither twin wants to think about what might befall them if their mother - or grandfather - discovers they're alive. Or, well, mostly alive. 

Loss Like A Severed Limb  G 

Eight year old Danyal Al Ghul, Son of the Bat and Twin Heir of the Demon's Head, was supposed to be executed. Instead he was secretly sent away and survived. And if Danyal could get out, then surely their Father could get Damian out and keep him safe. Afterall, why should only Danyal get to have soft things like gentle hugs? Or: Danny gets out of the League and sends Batman to get his brother too. 

Ah, Sunflower  T 63,812 SERIES 

Danyal Al Ghul faked his death to give his younger brother a better life and to give himself the life that he always wanted. Damian Al Ghul was happy to learn his older brother was dead. No longer did he have to live under his shadow. As the years go by, though, this changes for both of them. Danny Fenton never got the life he always wanted. Damian Wayne has realized he will never see his brother again. That is, until the bats summon the Ghost King and soon two sunflowers finally start to grow the way they were meant to. 

Prodigal Of Lazarus  TM SERIES 

The al Ghul heir died, which is how Damian al Ghul inherits the title of heir. By technicality, he gets to keep that title even if the eldest son is revived two years later. Some things happens, and eventually Danny is tasked to escort his younger brother, the heir, to their father. They didn't... exactly tell him he's also to be delivered to Bruce Wayne. To be fair, they could really work with their method of communication! (OR OR The adventures of Danny as he traverses to and from Gotham as the technically-not-heir of al Ghul.) 

Blood Doesn't Always Mean Family  M SERIES 

Damian was surprised and delighted to find out that his twin brother, Danyal, was not dead. Though Danny can’t say the feelings were mutual 

Split Heirs (DPxDC)  T SERIES 

Damian gets poisoned while on a mission by something called Blood Blossoms. The only person who can help them cure it seems to hate Batman with a seething passion. Only Batman has no idea who Phantom is or why he seems to hate him so much. 

Animals  T SERIES 

When the Batfamily, Ra’s al Ghul, and Talia all ended up trapped in the Ghost Zone, they are forced to work together to find their way out—by seeking aid from the Ghost King. What happens when Damian recognized the Ghost King was his long-dead twin, Danyal, the brother he had killed long ago? 

Phantom Assassin  T 

Danny used to be Talia Al Ghul's son, until he failed in his mission and Ra's Al Ghul made every assassin in the League turn their blades on Danyal. Now he's in Amity, adopted by a red-headed girl a few years older than him, and attempting to keep a low profile. Hard enough without becoming half-dead in a portal accident that leads to the source of the Lazarus pits themselves. 

Baptism By Fire  G 12,326 SERIES 

Jack, Maddie and Jazz Fenton are dead. Murdered by the hands of the League of Assassins in retaliation for Danny's desertion. Danny will not let them go unpunished for this. He swears it. 

Don’t Ask Me How I’m Doing (I Don’t Want To Lie To You)  NR SERIES 

On the run after escaping his parents hands, Danny went to the place his sister and ex ‘Fraid mates sent him. But why does that man look at him woth misty eyes? And why does he look so similar to the youngest sibling in the bunch? 

Legacies  T 

Damian's been haunted by his Grandfather long enough. It's time to bring in an expert. 

Farcical Familial Findings For Abnormal Adolescents  T 

Danny Fenton and Damian Wayne are identical twins. They also don't know each other exist. So when they walk (separately) into the same gala as Vlad Masters (also separately), things can only go wrong. 

A Crown Without Jewels  T 10,738  

Some 8 years after Danny ran away from the League after his own sort-of experience with the Pits, he and his brother happen to reunite in some less than stellar circumstances. Meaning right after Danny fought and heavily injured roughly 27 assassins. Not-- not the best. 

To Set You Sailing From My Harbor  T SERIES 

Daniel James Fenton, now Danny J. Nightingale was tired. He was tired of having to constantly be on alert for people trying to betray him and hunt him down. So when it turns out that he has another family he both didn't know about and doesn't remember, he can't quite bring himself to trust them. 

Our Deepest Secret (Or Is It Just Mine)  G 2,634 

"Any ghost coming to the human world for trouble met the Phantom Twins, and Damian made sure to live up to the nickname Demon. Because Damian had a secret. Damian had a guilt he tried to bury deep, a secret that woke him up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat." He knew this had to be a dream but the fears and secret deep within seemed too real 

(Two) Pairs Of Helping Hands  T 1,989 SERIES 

Jazz is sick, Danny and Damian come to the rescue! More accurately: Jazz is sick and Danny is in over his head and calls his twin brother to help him out. The things siblings do for each other. 

My Only Sunshine  T 1,319 

Damien is patrolling Gotham one night when a voice he never thought he would hear again comes over the coms. 

My Starlight  T 

Damian and Danyal al Ghul have always been connected. That connection should've broken when Damian returned to Nanda Parbat and Danyal didn't, because death is the end, isn't it? Damian doesn't care how inhuman his brother may be. He's going to find his little brother, take him home, and destroy anyone who dares get in his way - and he knows a few birds and bats that won't hesitate to help him. 

Bat Ghost  T 

Bruce is attacked by the ghost of Batman from the future. To get to the bottom of it, he pays a visit to some prominent ghost hunters, and happens to encounter a teenaged half-ghost vigilante (?), who just *happens* to resemble Damian. A lot. On an unrelated note, Tim Drake has done nothing wrong. 

Close Enough To Be Whole Again  NR 

“If you ever find yourself in danger, go to Bruce Wayne. He will help you.” 

His mother had loved him, in her own way. If she hadn’t, she wouldn’t have helped him escape. If she hadn’t, she would have dragged him back to the League of Assassins, to Grandfather. If she hadn’t, he’d be dead. She loved him, but she loved the League more. Jack and Maddie Fenton loved him too, they did, but they loved their work more. They loved their work more. After his parents react poorly to his reveal, Danny escapes to the only person he thinks can help him - Bruce Wayne. He doesn't know what to expect when he gets there, but it has to be better than where he is, surely? He certainly doesn't expect to be reunited with his long lost twin brother Damian. It's funny how things work out that way. Danny is 16 years old, not Phantom Planet compliant 

The Ghostly Bat  T 

The Bat Family were looking for Damain's hidden twin when an explosion at the local burger joint caused them to find him earlier than expected. Danny is confused and angry. As soon as he lost everything, this random man says he's his biological father and is now living with him and his family. Now, nothing makes sense and something deep inside of his is brewing. 

Trial And Error  T SERIES 

Talia tried to have a singular child to be her father's heir. She ended up with two. Damian tried to protect his brother as he was born to do. He failed. Danial tried to be the assassin he was trained to be. He couldn't. Danny tried to be an ordinary child with an ordinary life. Instead he died. 

What Happened? NR

Danny has escaped the GIW and now lives in Gotham injured. The Bat Family finds him and realizes that Damian knows him, but Danny does not remember his full past. Will they be able to help him and find out what happened to the small boy in front of them?

What Do I Think Of Life? (Baby, Not Much, I Wanna Die) T

Injured and alone in Gotham, Danny gets into a fight he can barely handle. Taken in by a vaguely familiar Robin, against his will at first, he learns about the Bats and the Birds, slowly but surely.

[wandixx]

Ghost of fries and Hero of cookies part 2

All work words count: 14 593

Words in this part: 1 794

Summary of whole work: Duke wasn't expecting to wake up from his quick rooftop nap to some meta kid with fries. He also wasn't expecting kid to stay Or Danny asked Dani to stay safe while she was in Gotham. Where would she be safer than under the wing of local hero? And he looked like he needed bad day combo anyway

This part summary: Of new names and teasing

Beta read by @audhumla-sailor though English is second language for both of us, so proceed with this in mind. I also know all of the charaters through fics alone, so probably ooc. Stay catious if it's something you don't like

First part

Duke knew that Dani was in their agreed meeting point, he even vaguely knew where she was floating but not much more. She used her invisibility, which was weird since she knew it didn't work correctly on him. It was fifth time they met, of course they knew. 

"Hey Signal, remember how you said that I need a codename if we're going to hang out in future and that all my previous ideas were horrible names?" a disembodied girly voice asked. Duke smiled. Ever since he raised the idea, the girl would come up with ridiculous names to be called, proposing them with absolutely straight face. It was expected from someone who thought Dani Phantom was a good alias. It didn't make her ideas any less amusing.

"Of course I do. Whatcha got for me today?"

"Alright, since you don't let me be a name stealer, I decided to take a sheet from local nightlife's notebook–"

"You mean take a leaf from their book?" He was sure she was rolling her eyes on him, but it didn't stop him. No one could maim English language like that with him around.

"Whatever. I chose to steal their idea and became a bird. It's only fair since I can actually fly!"

"Can't exactly disagree. So, what did you get this time?"

"You'll like that, I promise. But now, I introduce to you…"

Duke got ready to shut down every Robin iteration and all Birdgirls he could think of.

"HOOPOE!" Dani yelled, popping back to the visible spectrum. She was covered in bright orange cape with weirdly shaped hood and flimsy mask "I even did some costume changes to fit the name better–" in all honesty, one, yeah, he wasn't blind he realized, two, he needed a moment to remember how these birds looked (his first thought was 'wait it's a thing?!'). But then he got it and yeah, those were funny little creatures, just like Dani. It fitted her "–so even if you don't like it, it doesn't matter," she added, sticking her tongue out.

Duke patted her on the head. He was there, he knew it mattered.

"It's a great name Hoopoe"

Dani visibly though probably unconsciously, relaxed. Her mouth curved into a proud grin and her aura brightened. Normal auras didn't do that. He got used to Dani surprising him like that sometimes.

"Of course it's great, I made it."

Duke chose to not remind her about almost two dozen times she came up with absolutely not great names or about the fact that technically she didn't quite make this one either. He wasn't in such a petty mood. Maybe in future if he needed blackmail.

Oh, it was such a Bat thing, wasn't it? He needed to spend some more time with his civilian to get it out of himself, he liked his ability to interact with normal people in a healthy way. 

*

"Wait, is your mask a paper?"

"What else could it be, titanium?"

"If you stop three muggings on the next three patrols each I'll get you a better one, okay?"

"Hey, my mask is perfectly fine"

"Yeah, but it can tear too easily. I can get you a mask that is more sturdy."

"Aha."

"It's the same material every Robin and Nightwing wear…"

"Don't care, my mask is flawless"

"..."

"Okay, better mask would be cool"

***

On the third patrol Dani joined, about a week and a half ago, they exchanged numbers. Duke knew how hard it was to come to terms with new powers on one's own and God strike him with a lightning or something if he ever lets anyone go through similar bullshit. Especially since she didn't seem to have anyone taking care of her. Girl her age shouldn't be able to hang out or respond to messages within ten minutes at any given time. Only twice she didn't do that, because she was on a celebrity hunt for autographs as she later explained. He would be teased endlessly if any Wayne or their associate learned about it, but he considered introducing Dani to Bruce. She needed help, okay?! He didn't inherit adoption tendencies.

But he hadn't done that, partially because he didn't want to scare Dani off and partially because of fear of teasing. And bet. Because of course in the meantime somehow there happened a bet. 

He smirked at the video Dani sent as a response to the hydration check. She was tossing a coin and playing an elimination game to pick one juice from eight drinks she had. Steph jumped over the back of the couch to join him. At the start she was in front of him so to do that she had to run around the furniture but such minor inconveniences couldn't even wish to stop her dramatics.

"You're smiling at your phone ergo you either text your secret girlfriend/boyfriend/enbyfriend or watch memes. Show me the memes," she demanded, nudging him in the arm. Duke chuckled.

"Wrong guess. I'm texting my sidekick," they agreed it would be a funny way to introduce Dani to people who asked. Duke tried his best at this whole having sidekick thing anyway. As well as he could without help from other Bats because of this damn bet.

Steph froze for a moment.

"Your what–"

"And the lucky winner is… an apple with mint juice! Damn I really hoped it would be lemonade,"  Dani from the video announced cheerfully before opening the bottle" Shame it didn't make it past semi-finals. Happy hydration break. I'm going on an autograph hunt so I may not respond for the next two hours or so. Wish me luck, bye~"

Duke paused the video before it replayed. He glanced at Steph who finally rebooted.

"How come you got a kid and I learned about it just now?"

“In my defense I'm like 60% sure you're the second person in the family to learn about her. Depends if Tim got his ‘I have to know everything, gotta check body cams’ paranoid spree in the last two weeks or not. There was no teasing from Babs or anyone else if I'm being honest and no lecture from B, so they have no idea.”

“First was Alfred?”

“First was Alfred. I still don't know how.”

“That's our grandtler for you. You are forgiven but you have to tell me everything about her,” Steph demanded excitedly. “And show me the photos''

Duke snorted.

“She goes by Hoopoe and is about Damian's age. She can tell you her real name when B inevitably finds out and tries to interrogate her.”

“What if Spoiler drops by during the day?”

“You can try but give it another week and a day, okay?”

“Why?”

“We have bet that I'll hide her from B for three weeks. Tomorrow is the end of the second week. We both know how he is, he'll have questions if you randomly show up during the day."

"Stakes?"

"Speedster worth of winners favorite Batburger meal, 2 quarts of chosen drink and cookies"

"Valid. I ain't snitch, but I want to know more. Is she a meta?”

"Yeah. Powers I know of are invisibility, intangibility, superspeed, enhanced hearing and flight. Probably more. I think she already had some training with it because she has quite amazing control over this stuff. Like, it comes naturally to her. But her hand to hand is atrocious."

"Are you jealous?"

"No."

"Omg, you totally are! Don't be, she is just a baby with a better idea of what's going on with her powers than you have with yours. There is nothing to be mad about Duke, it's okay Duke–"

"Keep going and I won't tell you anything about her," he dared, trying not to snort. 

"Sorry, sorry, you're doing great, please continue," she nudged his arm again "Don't be such softie, dude" He stared at her at the comment, disbelief clear on his face. Steph at least then looked a little ashamed "Okay, sorry. You're honestly doing far better than any of us would. Excluding Cass and Alfred."

"Excluding Cass and Alfred," he agreed easily enough.

"So, you think your kid has some training with her powers," she recalled eagerly.

"Yeah, probably from when she was helping her cousin. He is a hero in Amity Park, Illinois, his name is Phantom. It took very little digging even though Hoopoe does her best to stay mysterious. I swear this kid has no brain-mouth filter. But! I got my second shovel talk from her cousin!”

“The what?”

“After a week of hanging out with her, I got message on Signal’s twitter from Phantom that basically read as ‘I have nothing against you, really dude I’m a fan but here is list of my most powerful enemies, and let me tell you, there were some scarily powerful guys there, I won with all of them, if something bad happens to Hoopoe I can and will destroy you.’ After some research, yes, I think he could try and have considerable chance of success. Even if he didn’t fight would be painful enough to be a lesson. He and Hoopoe have the same powers and she worked with him for some time. She most likely learned then. She was called Dani Phantom, boy went by Danny Phantom then”

“Dear gods, their aliases were so horrible, who even let them go with it?! Are those their first names?!” Steph sounded genuinely offended by it.

“I don’t know,” Yeah, he knew, but he preferred to keep at least this secret to himself ”In boy's defense, because Hoopoe came much later,  he was fourteen and Amity went to shit really fast, so alias was probably not his first concern. And it’s much better than Invioso-bill, name he was given by the press. And he uses some intense gaslighting to make people believe it’s just Phantom now. And allegedly they’re both ghosts. Apparently ghosts don’t exactly have secret identity”

“You doubt it”

“You would too. She eats, she breathes and she is tangible by default. From what I know, ghosts don’t do that”

“They don’t, I checked. I went on a research spree when I first learned about Deadman. I just thought it was so cool you know. Ghosts being real and all,” Steph leaned towards him, almost vibrating with anticipation.

“Really?” he asked, knowing what he was getting into.

“Yeah, you see…”

And on she went, releasing expected infodump as if she waited for this opportunity ever since she first read about it.

********

Some additional name getting shenanigans

Signal: I won't call you Dani in the field

Dani: Why?

Signal: Ever heard of secret identity? Name is, like, half of it. Disguise is other half but it can be exchanged with lore. Superman made it work. Just make up enough lore for people to not question it.

Dani: Oh, okay *gremlin^2 mode activated*

Random they just rescued: And who are you little one?

Dani: *looking them dead in the eyes* I am clone of dead child hero, travelling around the world to find identity separated from my template befre mistakes made during my creation make me turn into puddle of primordal liquid and my conciousness fades forever

Random: *petrified* What?

Signal: *internally* I have miscalculated

Dani: Kid Signal

Signal: No.

Dani: It works in Central

Signal: We're not in Central

Dani: Signalgirl

Dani: I mean, Batgirl exists

Signal: No.

Dani: Monochromatic Signal. Y'know, Red Robin route?

Signal: ...

Signal: Just no. Don't make my name part of your name

Next part

Do you want to see some Hoopoe doodles I made? There were redesigns!!!

[antimony-medusa]

man, just going through and queueing my thousandth emduo fan art and considering my emduo writing I'm doing this evening and with a VOD of an emduo stream open in a tab and with emduo art as my desktop background and I was just struck by a thought:

Undoubtedly this would be kinda weird to see people getting this into your friendships.

Like not even getting into whumping characters or aging them down or shipping or doing deep lore and meta of off-hand comments, just like, just the fact that I have been posting emduo art approximately 12 times a day for the past three years. Not even getting into the fact that one of those creators is dead. Like. That's gonna be a little weird to come across in the abstract, if you are a person with a friendship, seeing this friendship be like someone's blog theme. Multiple blog themes. The hashtag updates hourly.

Like I'm sure fandom is flattering, but also, there is undoubtedly a point where someone is like 'oh wait, so your entire hobby is about these characters that have my name? Like you spend hours a day on this? You have art up?" And then they go Oh Dear.

Which is why I think it's just so much greater for everyone if we keep our little derangement in fandom-specific corners of the internet and do not throw it into the creator's face. At all. Even the harmless stuff! Do not TTS about your fanfic! Sharing fan art and cosplay in the designated fan art channel— awesome. Inviting creators into your fandom group chat— boy. Can we not. As much as I am like man I could probably reach so many people, I probably should not promo fandom events in the philza discord! The actual guy is there, saying "here people can request gifts made for them about you" is gonna be weird.

There's just— there's a thing on twitter right now where this artist was making music and videos in a created world with characters, all very dreamlike and artistic, based in their childhood. And because it's the internet, someone wrote/drew NSFW of these characters. And because the internet is the way it is now, people were finding, searching out NSFW content to send it to the creator, presumably so they could take it down?

And I know these people had good intentions, however much I think that they're wrong, but I would argue that sending someone porn of characters based on you/on your kidfic is pretty close to harassment? Like do not show them that stuff. Come on. But the 'tattle to the creator' mentality was too strong.

And the creator, unsurprisingly, did not deal well with this! And then in what I think is a mistake, they have put together a team of people and a google form so that you can report if you find inappropriate or offensive content with their characters and the team will presumably try to copyright strike it. Which. Uh. Again. Is a whole horrible boundaries discourse, is going to lead to witch hunts, and I'm not sure about the legal success of copyright striking fan art and fanfic ANYWAYS.

But like this could have been avoided if instead of going "the creators need to know about this Bad Stuff" people just blocked and moved on. And I think so much more of modern fandom would take a step towards health if we could put more of a creator/fandom separation in place.

Like when I think back to the heyday of DSMP fandom and how these creators— many of them underage— were getting people sending them porn of themselves/their characters, to tattle. Oh look isn't this dark fic too dark. Look how horrible this gore is. This is borderline shipping. People were sending Phil's mods stuff tagged as QPR, because they couldn't get to Phil but he clearly so desperately needed to know this, so that he could condemn it as too close to shipping? Because that is respectful and a great idea?

And like this ranges from stuff where I'm like bro, he doesn't need to know that (small /neg, about stuff that isn't a big dealt), to bro, he doesn't need to know that (LARGE /neg, stop sending the creators porn), because like, okay, yes, you have correctly identified that this would be weird to have happen to you/to a character based on you. What you are missing here is that unless you want to usher in an era of insane copyright overreach that would make disney's lawyers ascend to a higher plane and also kill transformative fandom, there is effectively very little way to stop most of the bad stuff. Those characters are out there, people get to do what they want with them, no matter how much it's in poor taste. All you're doing when you show creators the bad stuff is making them look at stuff that is going to be unpleasant and they can't stop. So, y'know, harassment?

And even the good stuff— I know how to behave myself and act cool in public spaces the creators are in, but if they were to see the full depths of how much of my brain space is taken up by the blocks, I'm sure they'd kinda be left going hahaha you what????? Tomathy Innit was struck speechless by a single person doing a video essay analyzing L'manberg. I see that energy on the dash from dozens of mutuals every damn DAY.

Just like, man. Fandom is just a lot to shove at creators, and if they want to step in willingly that's fine, but I really think we should be so so so cautious about throwing them in bodily when they didn't ask for it. Do not rec family dynamic fics to tommy in his youtube comments. Do not tell tubbo to scroll his hashtag on tumblr. Stop telling Phil about your fanfiction in TTS. I"M SURE THE POSTING YOU ARE ALL THINKING OF IS FINE IN TERMS OF TECHNICAL WEIRD STUFF, but like— even the good stuff! Even the good stuff is a lot! "I was having a bad day but I watched some videos with the friendship in it and now I'm okay" is just a lot to drop on someone! Can we allow creators/writers/musicians/actors/authors to opt into this stuff, and not shove it at them?

And for the love of all things good stop sending people porn of themselves.

[pain-indeed]

Let's talk about Mecha Knight

Well, well, well, would you look at the time. It's "me writing too much about Kirby" 'o clock ! And it seems like Mecha Knight will be the topic.

So, the reason I am writting this is that I see more and more people say that Mecha Knight is an overused subject and it doesn't deserve to have so much angsty fics, art, etc. I strongly disagree and I will explain why. I know people won't change their mind with a single, random rant, but I just want to share my opinion on the matter. With that in mind, here I go, describing how the whole Mecha Knight thing is indeed messed up.

First I want to objectively describe the situation. So the Haltman Company invades popstar, starts mechanising everything and everyone. Meta Knight has the Halberd blown up, and we don't hear about him untill world 4. We discover that he had tried to fight the corporation by himself, then failed and was captured. Then he was turned into a cyborg forced by mind control to work for the guys who are actively destroying what he was trying to save against his own will, and forced to try killing one of his friends/rival twice, before being freed and helping the heroes.

I think we can all agree that this a bad thing to happen to anyone. Kidnapping, enslaving and modifying someone without consent is pretty horrible, and there is no denying that. Everyone who has basic ethics and empathy would know that. So logically, people sympathise with Meta Knight, and they can show it by imagining what it must have felt like for him trough art.

So, why the heck would some people try arguing why it actually was'nt that bad and artists should stop "milking angst" out of this ?!

Here's their argument ; Some have said that Meta could'nt have been badly hurt, as he is seen seemingly fine after fighting Haltman. As if being fine physically means you are fine mentally. If you were mechanised, do you think you would'nt feel at least a little bad ? Is it wrong to think the victim of this situation may keep some scarring memories ? Or is it that you think Meta Knight having trauma is contradictory to his character and he should'nt be allowed to ?

Well, in fact, if you look back at his personality, having trauma out of being Mecha Knight make perfect sense as it goes against his most defining trait ; stenght.

Normally he is very powerfull, physically, mentally and politically. His character practically revolves around power ( he is often shown trying to be more powerfull ). So imagine what it must be like, having all that strenght completly taken away from you and used by his ennemies against his allies. How it must feel to go from leader to slave. Not being able to move an inch by yourself while your body moves on its own. And it's only made worse by how in every other instance of him being posessed, he was shown to have tryied resisting evil influence. Even in RoMK he was revolting against lazinness. Here, the only clue we have about him trying to resist was the title of his battle theme, commonly known as "inner struggle". But the fact you can't even see that in game prooves how powerless he was, how vain his resistance was.

Even if having been turned into a robot did'nt disturb him, not being able to do anything against it definitly could have made him question himself. It could have shattered his ego and confidance in his abilities. It make perfect sense.

And, well, being turned into a cyborg must have been terrifying anyways. We don't know how mechanisation actually worked, but according to the number of screws in the mechanised people's design, how we only see him after a while and Kumazaki's habit of impliying terrifying stuff going on behind the scenes, it's understandable to assume it was painfull. And it must also suck to be treated as an actual object.

So, yeah, the situation was indeed pretty fucking bad, and seeing people trying to say it’s not unnerves me. I think they either are Meta Knight fans who feel like him being allowed to feel the slightest of insecurities would make him weak, MetaSusie fans who are trying to defend her actions by minimilizing them or just fan that have enough to see it over so many other topics. Like, bro, feel free to make your own art instead of complaining. Or potentially write countless paragraphs to share your opinions like I do ( just kidding, it’s actually pretty anoying ).

Basically, it's normal to see angsty art and fics of an event that was objectively pretty horrible and complaining about it is weird.

Either way, if you’ve read trough all this, congratulation. Must have been long. Thank you for your time and patience, and I hope you have a wonderfull day.

[wolfjackle-creates]

Wow. I am blown away by the response to my bang fic so far. I did not expect a Jazz POV fic with a (relatively) rare pair to do half so well as it has.

But here's another scene I love from the first chapter. Consider checking out on AO3 if you haven't already!

-----

Twenty minutes later, they were curled up together on Dick’s bed with the lights out. Jazz had insisted on being the little spoon. After the last few days she’d had, she wanted nothing more than to have her boyfriend curled protectively around her.

“Jazz?”

“Hmmm?” she replied, already half asleep.

“Do you— Are you— Is it good for you, to work with metas in trouble?”

Her eyes flew open and she stared into the dark room. Any hint of sleep was gone as she lay there tense. Dick’s arm tightened around her stomach. She took one deep breath, then another. “You’re worried because of my brother.” It was a statement, not a question.

Dick hummed, “We’re similar in some great ways and some terrible ones. I want to make sure taking cases like Callum’s isn’t going to keep you wallowing and unable to move on.”

Jazz screwed her eyes shut against the burning. “My brother is dead,” she said, the half-truth ash in her throat. “He is dead and I couldn’t stop it. His powers only made him more of a target and not a single adult tried to stick up for him.” Each word was harder to say than the last. “If I can keep it from getting that bad for anyone else… I need to do it. I wouldn’t be able to face myself in the mirror if I didn’t try.”

“Okay,” said Dick. “Okay. I believe you.”

Jazz forced herself to relax again. Of course Dick would be worried. If their positions had been reversed, she would’ve asked the same thing.

Just as she was starting to relax, Dick spoke again. “Would he have liked me?”

Jazz sucked in a breath; behind her, Dick tensed. Before he could apologize or try to take back his question, Jazz replied. “Danny hated every guy I dated in high school.”

Dick’s arm tightened around her, and Jazz grabbed his hand to thread their fingers together.

“I can’t blame him, though. I dated some horrible guys. The worst, get this, he only dated me because he was part of some weird magic cult. They fucked up a ritual or something and he wanted to use my body as a host for his real girlfriend’s soul when her body got destroyed.”

“What the fuck?” asked Dick. “Didn’t you grow up in the middle of nowhere? That’s some Blüdhaven or Gotham shit.”

Jazz laughed and squeezed his hand. “The corn makes people crazy. Now hush, let me answer your question.”

“Sorry,” said Dick, but Jazz could hear the smile in it. And feel it when he kissed the back of her neck.

“Quite all right. Now, Danny, as I said, he hated every guy I dated.” She bit her lip. Despite the jokes, she struggled to talk around the lump forming in the back of her throat. “But none of them were good guys. If I had been able to introduce the two of you, he’d be mistrustful. And probably try to interrogate you.” She chuckled, though it was a bit wetter than her normal. “Not that it’d phase a police officer like you.

“But… Yes, Dick. Once I’d convinced him to give you a legit chance? He’d have loved you. The two of you have the same sense of humor, the same sense for justice, and the same disregard for personal safety. I’d go gray worrying about what the two of you were up to behind my back.” She let out a shaky breath and repeated, “He’d have loved you.” The truth of that statement burned more than the lies and Jazz kept herself still so Dick wouldn’t notice the tears she couldn’t stop.

It was a long moment before Dick replied. “Good. I’m glad.”

“Now, let me get some sleep.”

Dick kissed her spine again. “Good night. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

-----

Read more on AO3

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

first time anon but long time lurker and as always I find myself back to your blog(s). Was going through your masterposts (mainly hp but I look forward to diving once more in meta and fics about twilight too) and was wondering how come that nobody pieces together the clues and realises that lupin is a werewolf? (name aside, the bloke was disappearing and feeling poorly around every full moon and was for 7 years in a castle with the same people and nobody expect his dorm mates noticed??)

My question is, is wizardkind this oblivious/stupid/reliant on magic and looking things at surface level?

Would love to hear your thoughts about it bc I agree with many things in your meta posts and I'm kinda curious.

have a good day ✨

Because why would he be?

Why's There a Werewolf on Campus?

Why would Hogwarts be housing a werewolf? The idea, I imagine, would be untenable to anyone. And if they were unwittingly, surely, they would have noticed and done something about it? Lupin was able to remain hidden because he had extra support from Dumbledore as Headmaster. Dumbledore made it so Lupin had a place to hide during his transformations, so there was no wolf rampaging around the halls.

To suspect somebody's a werewolf, you have to say to yourself, "The staff knowingly is supporting a werewolf on campus" and that's if they suspect anything in the first place. Which they really don't have any reason to.

And even then, remember for most people that aren't Harry living in Harry canon, Hogwarts is supposed to be a safe and wonderful place. It's not supposed to be filled with horrible monsters/death around every corner. The idea of a werewolf being on campus would be something that would be as anathema to there being a troll on campus!

Remember that in canon, the HP parents were appalled when they found out that Lupin was a werewolf, and the man was immediately sacked.

He Ain't the Stereotype

Lupin, especially at a young age, would not look like what wizards and witches would think a werewolf would. While the whole point is that werewolves can be anybody, a young boy (even if he is scarred) who's still growing just isn't going to match the haunting image of Fenrir Greyback for people.

People are not going to look at his face and thing "WEREWOLF". In fact, given how sickly he acts (and unless these people are aware of how werewolves actually act around the full moon), they're probably going to think, well, sickly.

Who Notices Anyway?

Harry and the other students in canon notice that Lupin seems to be sickly/become regularly sick. Roughly once a month (but remember that the modern western calendar doesn't exactly line up with the lunar cycle) Lupin looks awful, and then he disappears for a few days and Snape comes to lecture them and says, "YOU LITTLE FUCKS EVER THINK ABOUT WEREWOLVES?!"

And even then, the HP students don't put it together (see above, why would their professor be a werewolf), even when they're looking up at the sky every night for astronomy (and either tracking the lunar cycle or else on non-overcast nights at least getting a chance to observe it).

And these are people in a position where they see and notice the man regularly. He is professor to all of these students; he is a person that everyone in the school will notice when he's absent and when he's not.

Lupin as a student would not be. First, the only people who would really notice him missing, consistently, are those he shares classes with, which is going to be mostly Gryffindor. Even then, most people are not going to be looking for him specifically, so you really narrow it down to a) people in Lupin's year and b) Lupin's friends who care.

Those who do know that Lupin is regularly sick--well, it's just that, the dude has magical tuberculosis or something. He's clearly only just healthy enough to attend Hogwarts, but every once in a while, he pushes it too hard and woops has to go on bedrest for a little while. If he's not seen in the dorms, people either assume he's in his dorm room (which people outside of the inhabitants don't have much reason to regularly enter) or he's in the Hospital Wing.

No one's going to notice that when Lupin disappears exactly coincides with the full moon plus or minus a few days.

Except, of course, his roommates who do see that whenever this happens--his bed is empty at night. Where exactly does he go? If he's going to St. Mungo's, why doesn't he say? James, Sirius, and Peter were in a unique position to notice far more about Remus's habits, the truth of where he is or isn't, than anyone else in the castle.

And if Anyone Did Think It, Which Why Would They...

Remus has his roommates and friends to cover for him, which I'm sure they did. They ensure anyone who thinks to ask that Remus is totally in their dorm room, sick as a dog (hur hur hur).

And why would they have reason to lie about this?

Similarly, this requires McGonagall and Dumbledore to be witting and lying, as if Remus was simply sickly, they would surely know and have made arrangements for him being in the hospital wing all the damn time/having to skip class so much.

And why would they have reason to lie about one of their students being a werewolf?

TL;DR

It's such a preposterous concept to most people, that they have no reason to ever even suspect that Remus Lupin was a werewolf.

They probably thought Lupin had wizard consumption.

[kuwajima]

Hi! Hope this ask isn't weird but in the vein of talking about Zenitsu's backstory, what are your thoughts on Zenitsu's 7 evil ex girlfriends? As in, how do you tend to sort of place them on Zenitsu's pre-demon slaying timeline? And overall how do you imagine them, if think of them at all. Love your ideas about Zenitsu's backstory and kinda wanna know what you think of this aspect of his unexplored past!

I've noticed that the fandom rarely, if ever, do much with the knowledge of their existence beyond a passing mention when talking about Zenitsu's insecurities, whether in a fanfic or a meta post, which is interesting since, well, getting scammed 7 times by "romantic" partners seems like something really interesting to dwell into when writing about Zenitsu. I've read some really good fics featuring the inevitably horrible situation Zenitsu had as an orphan in the late Meiji Period, yours especially, but the exes shine by their absence across the whole spectrum of Zenitsu fanfic. I have my own thoughts about this but this is an ask, can't ramble too much lol.

Also, happy birthday! A little late but alas, hope you had a great day in your day and thank you for your fanfics in here! OMWF is just a gem and your other fanfic are just as good ❤️

I love this question!! I have put a lot of thought into them, because it does seem like an excessive number of times to be scammed and not learn your lesson, but it's very indicative of how much Zenitsu deludes himself while chasing what he believes is an ideal life. And now that you mention it, it is very rare to have them included in fanfic or meta outside of a casual reference to them.

I think the reason might be because the timeline is admittedly weird, so we have to believe that he speed ran seven girlfriends in his early teens, or the worse option is that some of them happened before he was a teenager.

And I think it has to be the latter, because I personally believe he was with Jigoro for a few years. I know it's canon that a slayer can usually learn their forms in about a year but there are a few things that indicate Zenitsu was with Jigoro for longer than that. He was hit by lightning and I refuse to believe the only side effect was the hair thing. Plus, Zenitsu is confirmed to be pretty lazy and although he is obviously a very skilled swordsman during the events of canon, Jigoro didn't know about the whole sleep-fighting thing so he should have only sent Zenitsu to Final Selection if he was sure he mostly wasn't going to die. And it's Zenitsu...there's no way he got up to speed in a year.

We are told in canon that Zenitsu dated all types of girls, and they all treated him badly, took his money, and more. The way it's worded (and this could be a translation thing) is that multiple women took his money. Now me personally, if I was a loan shark I would simply not loan money to an orphan child multiple times. There's also no way he was earning large sums of money (see the above point of him being lazy) so there had to be some time between losing his money and getting a new girlfriend. Especially if they were trying to get money out of him, there is no reason to go after a kid with absolutely no assets unless he already had a reputation of being easily manipulated.

I don't think he stayed in one town for very long either, so it's possible he ran away from other owed debts. But even then, we can assume there are probably a few months between girlfriends at least. And I don't think all of them took his money. For example, we know he dated a shopkeeper's daughter and she could have very well just made him work without pay at her father's shop as an act of "love."

Overall, I think it's a situation where Zenitsu would do their bidding for the "honor" of being allowed to say they are his girlfriend. That was the only thing he was getting out of the arrangement, since they didn't even let him hold their hands. I think it's probably incredibly obvious to anyone Zenitsu tells about his ex-girlfriends that he was never actually in a relationship with any of them. But Zenitsu still believes they were his girlfriends, despite being mistreated and sometimes betrayed by them. I think it's telling that only after he meets Jigoro does he understand that Jigoro is the only person in his life who cared about him (until he met Tanjiro, of course!) In the absence of childhood affection, those girlfriends probably did feel like true love at the time.

But you asked about the timeline. My guess is this probably happened over seven times over several years and the older he became, the most he was able to be manipulated (more access to money, a bigger reputation for being easily tricked, etc.) WHICH BRINGS US BACK TO MY EARLIER POINT: these girls were "dating" a tween.

We do see some faceless women when we learn that Zenitsu is full aware that women dislike him and deceive him (yet he keeps going back, because he convinces himself this time is different) and they certainly look like either teenagers or young adults. I assume these are examples of the girls he dated (there are 6 in the flashback and he has 7 exs, so I'm not 100% sure that's who they are) And obviously there was absolutely nothing intimate or romantic going on, but it does add a layer of malice to the whole thing. If he had been dating girls who were his own age, I'm not sure they would have been so malicious with their treatment of him. Their inclusion in his backstory is to show us that he is easily manipulated and repeatedly does not learn his lesson, because Zenitsu tricks himself into ignoring red flags.

And I'm not victim blaming. I think it's clear that he was intentionally victimized by these girls, but it is added to give us insight into Zenitsu's personality.

This is a very long-winded way to say, I believe they were all women older than Zenitsu, who either sought him out as an easy target or quickly realized he could be manipulated simply by being promised the title of Boyfriend. And they all occurred before he turned about 13, maybe 14.

But I would also love to hear your thoughts on the situation as well! I have grand schemes of writing a fic where he and Nezuko run into one of his exes post-canon and she initially thinks he's being tricked by another beautiful woman, but then she realizes that not only do they actually seem to like each other, but Zenitsu isn't the same person he was before.

And thank you for the birthday wishes!!

[iaus]

okay I think it might skirt a bit past the 500 word limit but for the ask meme: the temple of the fallen sun scene from chapter 6 of epilogue fic, because it HAUNTS me and it's so excellently done. plz share and and all of your authorial thoughts/takes/secrets/truths!

CHAPTER 6 MY BELOVED.

I feel like I could probably talk for hours about this entire chapter because it's such a Huge Thing in my mind.

I wish I could say it was one of the driving scenes for writing this fic but it's just... not. It was almost an afterthought when I wrote it but now it's so. Central.

I almost even gave the chapter a name. Which is not something I wanted to do for this fic. But. Okay I digress. (I'm so long-winded all the time help.) Let's get into the The Scene.

(Oh my god I typed so much. I typed so much. I can't shut up. HUGE Wall of text under the read more.)

So, to preface I actually had some difficulty wrangling Jace and Porter to where they needed to be. There were some diversions I was going to do before this scene (including expanding on Jace's flashback to his... storied past).

But after some screaming and crying I realized that bridging the "sweet" scene of Jace and Porter hiking through the woods would be best bridged with "actual" Porter interacting with Jace. To add to the foreboding tone.

But this comes to this line:

To Ankarna, he thinks, the god he should worship. The god he won’t.

At this point, we know Jace is dreaming so it's time for his "meta" knowledge to come in. He knows he's about to die. He knows why (?) and he knows the goddess. (Also, this line is totally foreshadowing some upcoming choices and some choices already made.) I love this line. Jace has all this knowledge about his past and could so easily apply it to the present and he's kind of evasive about it when he's awake to this point. But here in the dream, where he has Porter again he can be so direct. He won't worship her. He is with the man who is about to kill him, but in this space he can be so truthful.

Then we cut into Jace speaking, saying these snarky little quips to Porter that we and Jace have context for:

“Romantic,” Jace says flatly. “Why are we here, Porter?”

And this little exchange

“Tragedies happened here,” Porter says, voice quiet, like an impending storm. “Took a lifelong bond and sundered it because their wife couldn’t handle the costs of conquest. Of war.” “Alarming; again, tell me why you decided here was a good idea to take me for… what did you call it? Oh, right. A date?”

All of us witnessing this moment have such horrible context for this. Including Jace! But we also know that the Jace of the past ignored these warning signs. Porter briefly mentions Cassandra's divorce as a warning: You are not doing that to me. I'm going to become this awful raging God, but you are not leaving me.

And Jace hand-waves it. I purposefully did not describe Jace's physical reaction to it, because it takes away some of his agency in a sense. We do not see if he rolls his eyes, if he shifts away from Porter, or if he moves closer. Jace, despite his knowledge, despite that this is his dream, does not get to say no to Porter wanting him to stay in this moment. That steel trap of devotion? It's already snapped shut. You are the tragic lover.

Then, we immediately set into the follow through. Jace does not get action, but Porter does. And what does he do after the acknowledgement that this romantic getaway is alarming?

He grabs Jace. He walks them to the altar: Both marriage altar and sacrificial altar. I have Porter move a lot in this chapter and Jace is mostly experiencing this standing still. Porter's moving the plot, he's got the tempo, Jace is just caught in the storm (in the story).

Then we get to some more Menacing Porter dialogue which. I will admit, I get a lot of how I write Porter from Hannibal Lecter himself from NBC Hannibal. He is deliberate, he is creepy. I actually do picture Porter as having high charisma, he just doesn't think of how he uses it so he just sounds like, well:

“Told you,” Porter says, he presses Jace onto the stone, hands grasping hard enough to bruise. He reaches one hand up, to grab Jace’s jaw. He pants into the touch, wriggles on the stone. “You can’t leave me again, sweetheart. Everything,” he drawls against Jace’s throat, “hinges on this. Plan like this has to have vows.”

This paragraph haunts me. I love it. It is everything I want Porter to be in this fic: Menacing, dangerous, but also... maybe a bit enticing? You can see this for the red flag it is, but if you've been lonely for so long and haven't been able to make connections... it's almost flattering? Here's this man that you perceive as someone who could have anyone (he makes sure you know that) but he chooses you? It's bad, it's scary, it's not something you should want but. BUT.

Also, I need to shout out this line:

Porter had kissed him that day as if he never quite believed Jace was giving him everything.

Because we don't get insight into Porter, but I think this line is damning for Porter. He is obsessed with Jace, he is sure that Jace is as obsessed with him; but there's that... doubt. I've established by now that Jace has left Porter multiple times. We never know why. But I think this line gives you a little taste, maybe, of what this horrible egomaniac feels underneath his toxic masculinity bravado. He has feelings for Jace and this murder he is going to commit comes back to this: He doesn't believe Jace. There is no trust in what he cannot control here.

But okay, back on track. We see Jace give into this and Jace also sees himself give into it:

As the memory washes over him, the heaviness of Porter’s tongue in his mouth, his palm on his arching spine, he remembers loving it. (He misses it.) After the cold loneliness that had gripped him for months as he researched and did everything Porter wouldn’t—to be greeted with such heat. With such longing. Jace loved it.

Jace even calls himself stupid for it. He gave himself to this dangerous man and he's like. I didn't stop it. (I enjoyed it.) He has this feeling that maybe he could have stopped the motion of things, but now that he's resurrected and watching it happen he has two distinct feelings on it: You are absolutely stupid for falling for this AND I miss him and everything horrible (and everything good) that came with it. He misses that unhealthiness, the danger. But he also just misses Porter (but we don't get to reconcile that right now).

And then we get to see into Jace's own view on things. For whatever reason, he likes this attention. He can see how unhealthy it is, but he likes that Porter (in his perception) is just as sick for this relationship as he is:

He had basked in the knowledge that he was the only one Porter was like this with. Others may have had him in their bed; known the devastating, delicious way Porter could make someone beg. But Jace was the one he kept coming back to. The one he growled at, grabbed, marked, and bruised—pursued. That was for Jace alone.

This whole thing is a culmination of a lonely, desperate man finding a toxic, possessive man that scratches all those deep down itches he has. We'll get more into Jace's own issues in further chapters (that flashback we saw was important), but this is just a little peek.

And now. We get to the scene that defines this whole fucked up tragic chapter:

“It’s always been leading here,” Porter growls against his mouth. The grin is back—that same curve of wild growing wider and crueler as he presses Jace fully back onto the altar: Spread out, gasping, chest exposed to the slowly sinking sun. Now, he knows the threat of Porter’s last harsh, needy kiss before he steps away, voice soft and heated, "'Til death do us part, sweetheart."

I have a very early draft of this chapter where there were no wedding vows. My first thought was to have Jace's death be so ordinary that it was insulting, but that ordinary death did not line up with as yet unpublished chapters. I was standing in another room doing something so mundane when this idea hit me. I like lunged at my phone to add in the vows. Originally, the only thing Porter was going to say was "It's always been leading here," which I felt was apt. It felt right. But I realized. Porter's obsession with Jace would not just end with that.

He would want to say something that left Jace as shattered as he was physically. So. He marries them in the worst way possible. He is now God and husband. They are bound in unholy, horrible matrimony.

In the past? Jace didn't think anything of it. Porter says creepy shit all the time, right? But. Now:

Now? Jace would lay upon the altar for Him willingly this time if given the chance. (Anything; anything to not be alone again.)

Porter has this perfect isolating control over Jace which is honestly horrifying. But all Jace can think about now is how he wants that back. A kind god has extended their hand to him, but no he wants the man who manipulated him. Who pulped his heart. The God who made him acolyte, saint, right hand, husband... Porter is the center of Jace's universe.

And now he's gone.

So, now, all he can do is remember that question: Do you want this life?

[cosmos-dot-semicolon]

(⭐fanfic writers' commentary)

@plutosoda hi

Ooh, time to reread my old writing, huh? Always a fun trip, especially given I'd totally forgotten like half of it including that repetition trick you'd mentioned…

fair warning, i only got like 3 asks for this thing so I'm gonna commentate on pretty much the entire fic here. This post never ends.

Here's an entire director's commentary on All-Nighter! Enjoy!

"The covers were warm… But at least it'd get something done before passing out again."

I'm still fond of this intro. I'm terrible with being succinct, but this is somewhere where my rambling writing style really works; this section is written from experience of many a 'stayed up too anxious now you can't sleep' nights, and someone who has read a lot of the techniques to fix that problem, then didn't (ADHD lol). That is in fact what my internal monologue tends to be like at night - a mix between recalling every single way you've ever learnt to pass out, worrying about what happens tomorrow, 'why is life like that. what did i do,' and just a pinch of 3am self loathing.

I never really thought of it until an AO3 commenter pointed it out, but it was a fairly natural way of worldbuilding/expositing/characterisation all in one go. Establish the premise of the fic, Robot only bothering to process things when it's on the brink of exhaustion, the way it's kinda obsessed with productivity and efficiency and self-improvement.

I'm proud of it!

Also I like to think Lady Luck only does the weird scheduling thing for Robot. She'd be the type of person to try and make the Dungeons a personalised hell for everybody.

“Hey, could I get a coffee, do you think? …I’ve been sleeping so badly down here.”

I'm quite happy with the intro to the next bit too. My goal going into most fanworks (still) is to emulate what drew me to the original story. In this case, that's Dicey's tone and dialogue, with a bit more direct focus on the characterisation of everyone. So this is sort of a meta plot device that signals all that to the reader. I love how efficient that is. also I just like throwbacks and references okay

"The canteen was a dense jumble of kichen counters…"

I could've been a little faster with this scene and Robot subsequently making the coffee. One of my weaknesses as a writer is that I hallucinate some of the scenes in my head, and try to write down everything in that instead of just drawing a comic (cough that one unpublished Ninjago fic). I'm a sucker for describing scenery for days on end.

That said, I'm really glad I got the vibe of 'light-blue-grey' morning over to you in your fanart. It was exactly what I was imagining as I was writing this.

"Pre-ground. …But this was just evil."

I think I'm funny. Anxiety cube can put up with a lot, but terrible coffee isn't it.

"They taste horrible compared to freshly ground beans. It’s not worth the convenience."

haha. because you see. that's its heart's desire *gets turned into a dice*

"Pouring a generous portion for its new friend, Robot masked its complaints with a long sigh." "…But thanks to the innovations of modern day life-” An overhead swig downed half the mug."

A commenter pointed out that some of my lines have really good flow in them between actions and characterisation. I didn't notice that until then, but I'm inclined to agree. Some of these drive in the point really well.

"At least its fellow patron was enjoying themselves – not even flinching at the concoction and savouring the coffee raw. It was tempted to start a commentary on how dark roasts were overrated, but soon became a little more concerned about them drinking through the 100 centigrade burns. This place had quite the collection of creatures, it seemed."

I like to think Robot's a little snobby about the things it enjoys. I like to think Lady Luck tries to throw people off as much as possible.

"So, how’s the self-improvement going?" they started. "I only want top quality minions in my dungeons."

Very fun fact is that I was worried about spoiling the twist in this fic because of this line being so blatant, but I wanted to put it in anyway because it's a good character-establishing moment, and a good… re-interpretation of the line in another context? I love recontextualising canon in a slightly different way that still works for the characters in question. it's so fun

Anyways. Turns out I didn't need to worry about that because at least one reader totally missed this too so got hit with the full twist anyways. Isn't writing great?

"So, what’s keeping you up this late?” they asked. “Nightmares? A looming sense of regret and existential dread? Unfinished essays due tomorrow morning?"

essays due tomorrow morning. haha so true. i'm glad I don't take much coursework nowadays.

"You know, as useless as it looks, sleep’s rather important for you folks. It’s how you deal with all the terrible things that happen during the day, since your brain can just wipe the slate clean and try again. But funnily enough, it’s always the first thing that’s left behind whenever someone wants to better themself." "Life’s painful enough as it is. Why not change things up if your current routines aren’t working?" "Nobody ever plays the cards they’re dealt perfectly, dear… Time always slips you by when you’re not paying attention. And nobody ever knows what’s coming next. You’ve just got to learn when to raise and fold them." "Well, part of being human is never being a hundred-and-one percent efficient. If you folks still count yourself as that. I’d apologise but I remember you were quite nonchalant about your little transformation anyways."

One of the main points of this fic was that while Lady Luck is blatantly on the offensive and absolutely insulting Robot to its core, she's not technically… wrong?

It's not bad advice. Lady Luck, in-game, seems very perceptive of the various insecurities mortals go through. And I like to think she does start this conversation just for genuine fun, to pick someone apart. See if they bounce back against it or just crumble. It's just a bonus that the recipient finds it harder to refute her offers afterwards.

"It might!" it snapped back, getting them to at least try and contain their mockery under a silent, wavering smirk. "You know what? I think it will be, I can feel it!"

Robot sort of does both. It's definitely very very anxious. But it's stubborn. I really like that about its character: how there's a contrast between its organised and disorganised sides? How robots are usually associated with hard numbers and calculations, but Robot's mechanic is blackjack. also it's SO autism/adhd coded. listen. in this

I don't know if there's a trope to call either of these, but they're my favourite things about both characters, and they're surprisingly introspective for a game so short on story. (I will write more about that in another post. lol).

It's a bit indulgent in how long it goes on in some areas, but eh. It works for the fic's pacing.

"The figure leaned forward to highlight its obvious obliviousness…" "I thought you were supposed to be the overly organisational optimist."

I love alliteration. yippee!

"A gentle chuckle filled the air, restrained from its usual projecting echo. "You wound me, Robot. Games are always more fun when your players at least get the chance to try and fight back."

I like to think Lady Luck's main motivation is entertainment. Which mostly involves watching people suffer. But I think it's in the spirit of luck to have it so that someone's downfall was their choice. Determinism versus free will and whatever.

The chance that somebody could escape makes things spicier. And makes it sting all the more for all those that didn't. Hooray!!

Also given Lady Luck's usual loud persona, I planned (plan) on giving her quite a few more subtle but equally threatening moments in this series. It's a thing that wouldn't really work well in the actual game, but it does in a slower medium like writing, and I fucking love that trope.

"Statistically unlikely, but I’ll humour it," she commented to an invisible aside."

You should picture this scene as her directly staring at you through the fourth wall. Like in a sitcom.

"But it’s not so bad, being a minion… I’ve heard that’s about as stable as a job as you can get these days." "…though surprisingly she was not the worst boss it had had to deal with."

I always thought this line, used on Thief in-game, would've been an absolute killer on Robot. The job market is pretty fucking shit these days under capitalism and you would be lying if you said there aren't at least some parts of the Dungeons that seem better work-wise. Inclusivity, stable employment, accommodation.

Yeah, you have no freedom, but that's also the goal of capitalism up here as well. At least in Dicey it's ridculous and ironic. And you'd get to use your degree in maths/statistics/acounting etc to its full extent! Can you fucking imagine the paperwork for a game-show/dungeon hybrid business.

"But then again, I think you’re plenty used to the grind."

I believe this was an unintentional-turned-intentional coffee pun. Boooooo

"Funny how they think that’ll discourage anybody. …Folks hear that the house always wins and immediately think they’ll be the exception."

She would be the one to know that. This was intended as a followup to Robot's entire argument before. I'm very happy that at least one person picked up on that :D

"So whatever you pick, it'll be a decision from Robot alone, no matter what your mind or body drags you into afterward.”

I believe this was also supposed to be a callback, but the wording got changed slightly. I think it was the "It feels like my mind and body won’t stop working against me" bit.

"Normally, Robot would’ve stayed to socialise and make new friends, and in all likelihood, skipping breakfast would leave it starving later on in the day. But right now, it needed some time to itself: to think and recover and remember where it was going with this."

This was another callback (that actually made it into the story). Robot immediately making another bad decision after the first, with the exact same words echoing it coming.

"Just another day in the dungeons. It could handle this."

I wanted the ending to be very short and open-ended, in that it was up to you to interpret whether Robot took the offer or not, and when. But regardless I wanted it to be like a regular intro to an episode, but with the hint something definitely fucking changed that the audience can only speculate on.

…oof. 80 minutes on this essay. My poor neck. I think that's it for now, though.

Overall I'm really happy with this piece - hence why it's one of the few things I actually put online. It's three years old, and I could've fixed the flow in some bits (there's one part where I think Robot answers a different question than was asked).

But I achieved pretty much everything I wanted to say in this piece of fanwork, it pushed me to think about characterisation a lot and my writing and editing techniques. There's a lot of neat little things I put into it, and it really got me to grips with what I liked about my inspiration in the first place.

I think that's an exercise worth trying for every fan-work creator. Stretches you brain. Almost lets you re-experience what you loved about a thing years later. Points you towards your possible future diagnoses. It's a fun time!

[heliza24]

The Radical Act of Quitting (and Wilhelm)

This is a little more personal than my Young Royals metas normally are. It’s really one-half personal essay, one-half show analysis.  It’s something of a spiritual successor to my post about radical acceptance and Simon’s arc in season 2. And it’s also about the reasons why I want Wilhelm to renounce the crown by the end of season 3. (I am stating that early, because I know many people disagree. Feel free to engage but please do so with kindness; a lot of this is quite vulnerable for me.)

I’m disabled. Specifically, I have a chronic condition that began in my early twenties, and slowly got worse and worse until I was finally diagnosed at 28. I’m 31 now, and I’ve had to grieve the person I once was many times over. I used to be a dancer, I used to be an adventurous eater, I used to love to travel. My chronic pain and restrictive medical diet have taken those things away from me, piece by piece. But the thing I mainly want to talk about right now is quitting my job. At the time of my diagnosis, I had worked at my job full time for three years. For a few years after my diagnosis, I tried to remain at my job part-time, because I loved it. I worked in the music industry, and I had the best team of coworkers. I had a great work/life balance, I was never stressed about work. I looked forward to each day in the office. When I went to events and had to introduce myself during an ice-breaker, I would usually include a fact about my job. I found a lot of my identity there. All of my work directly supported musicians, which was something I was very proud of.

So I tried very, very hard to hang on to my job. My company gave out these ridiculously heavy plaques for employees who had been at the company for 5 years, and I was determined to get one. But it was really hard. I could no longer type sitting up for more than a few minutes, so I did every day from my lap desk in bed. (This is still where I write all of my fic and meta!) I struggled to talk to customers on the phone while I was in pain. The office was closed because of the pandemic, but I would have had to work from home regardless because I couldn’t handle the commute.  Every day was a slog. And my pain and fatigue weren’t getting better. In fact they were continuing to get worse as time went on. Finally, my five-year work anniversary arrived. I made it, but I felt like a runner barely stumbling over the finish line. It was the end of 2021. I talked with my friends and my therapist and my disability benefits lawyer. “I don’t think I can keep working,” I would say. And then I would cry, because the thought of letting go of this last part of my identity, when my illness had already taken so much, was so horrible.

After several months of deliberating and grieving, I quit.  My boss begged me to reconsider (God bless him, honestly). Was there anything he could do to better accommodate my needs? Could I work a different schedule to let me sleep more? Could I work freelance on specific projects they really needed me on? I wanted to say yes so badly. But I knew. The longer I held on, the more I fought, the worse my health would become. And the worse my health would become, the more I would struggle with work. The joy I had felt during my first three years in that office had already drained away. I was fighting just to get through each day, and I didn’t want to fight anymore.

I recognize that having the resources and disability benefits to even consider quitting is a huge privilege. There are a lot of disabled and chronically ill folks who struggle through work at great detriment to their health because they can’t afford not to keep working.  So I recognize how lucky I was to be able to quit. I am so grateful for that option, even as I mourn all the things I have lost.

In my meta about Simon, I talked about radical acceptance and how it has been my guiding light as a disabled person. Embracing radical acceptance means that I have done my best to accept what I can and cannot do, and what I can and cannot control, without judgment. I accepted that I needed to walk away from my job. But how was I supposed to define myself without it?

Capitalism defines most peoples’ self-identity, whether they realize it or not. We identify with our jobs, or with the “grind” culture, or with the moral goodness associated with working hard. But here I was, without a job. And I had my whole adult life ahead of me. I had to find a way to make a new identity outside of work.

Around this time, I started to gravitate towards stories where characters are faced with similar decisions, even if I didn’t realize it yet. And let me tell you, there aren’t many of them.

@bluedalahorse and I talk about this a lot. In our ultra-franchised world, the point of stories, even those that are supposedly about rebellions, is often to return characters to the status quo, so that the next movie/comic/episode can pick back up where the last one left off. And when there is a significant change in the status quo, it is usually because the characters worked, and pushed, and struggled to achieve that change. It’s very rare to see a story about someone who walked away from something that was harming them. It’s rarer still to find something that deals with the aftermath, as characters work to re-establish themselves.

I’ve found a lot of comfort in true stories of people leaving cults and high demand religions, and of queer people forced to leave their conservative families behind. In all of these cases, people are consciously abandoning a predominant belief system that is harming them, and have to start over as they craft their new sense of identity. (I am also queer, which adds an additional level of connection). Often people in these situations come to rely on their found family, a thing I have also found to be true in my own life.

I quit my job in between seasons 1 and 2 of Young Royals, and I don’t think I realized how many themes connected my experience to Wilhelm’s until I was watching season 2. Wilhelm is the protagonist of Young Royals, and his central dramatic question has always been: will he fulfill his duty as a royal? Or will he quit, and discover who he is beyond the system he was raised in? Simon is a huge part of this decision, obviously, but the question has never been strictly about Simon.

While I have no personal experience with the monarchy, I do know what it’s like to consider walking away from a role that you assumed you would fill for the rest of your life. I know what it’s like to think about quitting your job.

There’s so much pressure on Wilhelm to assume the role of perfect Crown Prince. He’s told constantly—by Kristina, by Jan-Olof, by the court-- that he can’t let his family or his country down by deviating from this role in any way.

This is a pretty common experience for people who are trying to quit something. They are told that they will let down those around them if they leave. People who are leaving high demand religions are told that they will not be able to enter heaven.  Queer people in conservative families are told they can’t come out because “it would break [elderly relative]’s heart and kill them.” When I quit my job, I thought a lot about how I’d be letting down my coworkers and everyone who knew me as a hyper-competent career-driven person.(This included some of my doctors by the way, who expressed their disappointment in my failure to adhere to their idea of a “worthy” disabled person, i.e. someone who soldiered through the pain and continued to work. Some withdrew care because of this and honestly I will never forgive them). And maybe I was letting people down, and maybe ex-Mormons really will spend the afterlife in outer darkness, and maybe all the grandmas of queer people will be so upset that they kick the bucket when their grandkids come out. But ultimately, if your happiness or safety or well being depends on leaving, it doesn’t really matter. You have to do it anyway.  You have to abandon the things that you can no longer carry. You have to discover who you are on the other side of religion, of the closet, of capitalism.

I think about this every time people in the fandom talk about how Wilhelm leaving the line of succession will create a constitutional crisis, or impact all of Sweden negatively. I am personally pretty anti-monarchist, but I honestly can’t even tell you if I think that Wilhelm removing himself from the line of succession would bring about the end of the Swedish monarchy or not. Honestly, I don’t really care.  I care about Wilhelm. I want him to seek happiness, to search for the future that must live on the other side of this oppressive system he finds himself in. A constitutional crisis? That’s Kristina’s problem, that’s Jan-Olof’s problem, that’s the government’s problem. Radical acceptance means focusing on the things you can control, and Wilhelm can only control his own happiness.

When this issue gets debated, I often see people argue that Wilhelm is too young to make the decision to give up the throne. But the reality is that we ask teenagers to make decisions about their futures all the time. @bluedalahorse wrote a great piece of meta about that here. I love what she said so much I’m going to quote it directly:

Nonetheless, we ask teenagers of Sara and Wilhelm’s ages to think about decisions that affect their future all the time. We ask them to consider what career they’ll pursue or what university to attend. Teenagers who grow up in various denominations of Christianity consider whether they’re going to go through with Confirmation or sometimes Baptism. Other religions (ones where I can’t speak from as much personal experience) have various other rites of passage around this age, and various cultures have coming of age rituals. For some teens, they do these things willingly and with their whole heart, whereas for others, they do it to please their parents or families or for the social norms of it all.

And if Wilhelm is too young to decide to give up the throne, how can he be old enough to decide to keep it? Surely the decision to take on the governance of a country, even in a symbolic way, requires as much, if not more, maturity than the decision to pursue a less high-powered career elsewhere.

When people in the fandom claim that Wilhelm is too young to make this decision, I hear Kristina telling Wilhelm to wait until he’s 18 to come out, because only then will he be responsible enough to deal with the consequences. That’s a delaying tactic, and nothing more. People who don’t want you to leave will ask you to delay your decision over and over again, because they think that if they can kick the can down the road just a little farther, they’ll never have to lose you.

I also see people argue that Wilhelm isn’t qualified to make a decision because he doesn’t know enough about the “real world” to know what he is choosing. To be honest I don’t think most teenagers know much about the “real world”. I definitely didn’t. But we ask them to make decisions that will affect their futures anyway. And here’s another way to look at this: Wilhelm has plenty of places he can look to for examples of how “ordinary” people live. He can find out what it’s like to be from a noble but non-royal family from the students at Hillerska. He can talk to Simon and Linda about what their lives are like. He can read the millions of books, or watch the thousands of movies and TV shows that feature non-royal protagonists and were created by non-royal artists. But only Wilhelm knows what it is like to be Crown Prince. No one else has had that experience. So I would argue that actually, Wilhelm is the only one qualified to make this call.

Ultimately, the agency and mental capacity of people who are quitting is often doubted, usually by the people who have the most to gain by keeping them in place.

So many people have so much invested in maintaining the status quo. And as soon as you invest in a system, someone daring to leave puts your world view into question. Why are you dealing with so many oppressive rules if someone else can just leave? We see this a lot with high demand religions and cults; if someone threatens to break free, the members often join ranks and work together to pressure them to stay. What has your sacrifice as a woman in a patriarchal religion meant, for example, if another woman can decide to simply walk away? Does Kristina’s grim life of duty and sacrifice matter, if Wilhelm can just opt out and seek happiness instead? 

Then of course, there are all the benefits that an oppressive system confers on its most privileged members. Those benefits are in danger of disappearing if enough people quit, so high ranking people will work to keep others in line.  Think about all the people who benefit from the monarchy: all the staff who work for the royal family, all the nobles who get their reputation by proximity to the monarch, and everyone in Sweden who in general benefits from the image that a long-standing institution of white, straight, conservative power projects.

And those aren’t people Wilhelm needs to be responsible for (or should be concerned with placating, to be honest). If the monarchy fails because Wilhelm leaves, it’s because there’s always been a fault in the system. Those relying on this outdated system have signed their own fate.

No one knows fully what life will be like after they quit. That’s the radical acceptance part of quitting. You have to make a blind leap, and discover a whole new world once you land. Wilhelm is no more sheltered than anyone before they take this leap. Everyone who quits—a religion, a cult, a job—has to go through this process of rediscovery.  You have to learn by doing. People do that successfully all the time, and I believe that Wilhelm can too.

When I was talking about this meta with @bluedalahorse, we talked a lot about Plato’s allegory of the cave. That story goes something like this:

Several prisoners have been kept inside a cave their entire life. They are chained to the spot, and cannot move. They are facing the back wall of the cave. Behind them is a fire, and in between them and the fire, their captors walk back and forth, casting shadows on the wall. Because the prisoners have been kept in the cave their entire life and have only ever seen shadows, they think the shadows are real. They think the only thing that exists in the world is shadows. Until one day, one of the prisoners is set free. He goes outside for the first time, where he is blinded by the sun and overwhelmed by stimulus. But he discovers the real world. He now knows that the shadows he was used to are pale imitations of the real things. He’s so excited that he goes back to tell his fellow prisoners what he has learned. But the prisoners get angry at him for challenging their world view. They don’t believe him, no matter what he says.

There are a lot of ways you can interpret this story. Some people think that Plato is talking about the role of philosophers in society. Some people use it to explain a philosophical concept he writes about elsewhere called “forms”. But I think one thing is clear. Plato didn’t write the allegory of the cave (and it didn’t stick around in human imagination for thousands of years) because he thought you should stay in the cave. Leaving the cave is hard. You will be met with resistance. But discovering the real world, when you were only seeing shadows before, is worth it.

I want Wilhelm to leave to be happy, to see the real world instead of shadows. But I also believe it’s what the story demands. It’s the only answer that makes asking the dramatic question—should Wilhelm conform or rebel?—worthwhile to me.

To be king, but to be the first gay king, would be such an unsatisfactory ending for me. It reminds me of how hard I tried to keep my job—by working from bed, by reducing my hours. My boss could do the best he could to be accommodating, but ultimately working was harming me. You can’t adapt the monarchy enough to make it a non-damaging space for Wilhelm, because there will always be people pressuring him to conform to its straight, stoic ideals. Those ideals have been around for hundreds of years, and to put all of the burden of reforming them on Wilhelm is unfair and unrealistic. If he does stay, I see him struggling to change a system that is not designed for him. Even if he does make small victories for representation or inclusion in that context, it will come at an enormous emotional cost. I just don’t think it’s worth it. Not when there’s a whole world where Wilhelm could be doing good, important work– in whatever arena he chooses– that won’t also come along with inherent emotional trauma. 

Believe me, there’s a whole world to be discovered after you walk away from something that’s damaging you. You grieve, yes, but you also grow. Since quitting I’ve been able to love my friends harder, to treat myself better, to give back to the disabled community.  I think if you talk to most people who have committed a similar act of radical quitting they’ll say the same thing.  I want this future for Wilhelm, but I also want this kind of story to exist for all of us. I want there to be a story that represents those of us who have had to make these kinds of decisions. I want there to be a story that can encourage people who are currently wrestling with their desire to leave and the pressure to stay. And I want there to be a story that shows the hope, the bravery, and the self-belief that is required to walk away and seek a brighter future.

[leprosycock]

what videos do you recommend for drewdann insanity??

god you’ve come to the right place. my favorites are:

cody’s insanely chill podcast episode with danny and drew (we are not debating whether or not cody is a creep, this is about the boys being very cute and very young and very sweet and drew admitting that he only flew out to hang out with danny and nothing else… much to think about)

the strangest story on the internet (the boys read a really bad fic about themselves and drew suggests that they act the whole thing out. for some reason. genuinely one of the funniest videos i’ve ever watched and they are very cute)

pretending to be your boyfriend (they talk about bad asmr and they are really gay in this one and there are a lot of really good out of context moments)

exploring facebook marketplace (the bits are not very good but they’re SOOOO young and small and cute and they’re so awkward that it makes me breathe really heavy)

getting sent to the principal’s office (oh my goddd oh my godddddd OHHHHH MY GODDDDDDD)

third wheeling with your own girlfriend (again, lots of good out of context moments and also very blatant laziness from the writers 🙄 like come onnnn we get it it’s such an obvious metaphor omg…)

the jeremy renner app (extremely funny video where they’re very cute and comfortable with each other and danny is VERY little boy)

reacting to viral florida videos (fnfnfjhhgrreegghhhhj :(((( )

slime music video (worth watching for potential meta and the implication that danny and drew are brothers who secretly loathe each other)

danny and drew goof hour at vidcon (there are so many good moments in this and drew is very mean and he teases danny a lot and their chemistry is fantastic and they are in love)

there’s also another video that has been mysteriously scrubbed and i can’t for the life of me understand why; it was episode three of drew’s failed little stinker radio hour podcast that he had up for years where he and danny chatted for an hour about nothingness and danny told a story about getting horribly drunk at camp unplug and drew bullied danny relentlessly at the end and there was a crazy amount of sexual tension. i have a link to the most important part of it here on google drive. maybe this got deleted because of some perceived insult or offense because both danny and drew are little numbnut suckup bitch boys who plead for their incredibly volatile nasty audience not to execute them at every turn but idk exactly the reason why

[grumfield]

I'm not the same anon but I've recently been looking for some metas on consent in 2ha 😅. It's both for bettering my own understanding of the story through different perspectives and also for a 2ha fic i'm working on. Do you know any metas on this subject? or can you share your interpretation if that is okay with you? thanks!

I don’t know of any metas of the top of my head but I’d love to explain my own interpretation! I won’t go too much into overt spoilers but more just general vibe implications

2ha is like telling someone who’s being bit viciously by their dog that they’re a victim and while yes that’s technically true it’s then revealed that the dog has been put in a fighting pit its entire life, got a nice owner for 2 weeks, and then got put back in an even worse fighting pit where he’s horribly conditioned to exclusively bite and kill, and only 40 years later is he randomly set loose back in his nice owner’s old house.

2ha works in a way I like because the layers of who exactly is experiencing non-con (both sexual and otherwise) is a sort of little matryoshka doll reveal.

The most obvious—and one that everything revolves around—being Chu Wanning’s past life. He suffers the most straightforward abuse, he gives the most straightforward sacrifice. It’s very clear cut, and as a result you have a very comprehensive interplay of desire and fantasy. Dude essentially gets his rocks off to visions of his love interest as kindle unlimited alpha billionaire and it’s very clear that entertaining sex slave fantasy in the comfort of your own bed is not the same as experiencing IRL. Congrats Chu Wanning, you discovered BDSM scenes and submission! Surely that’s the extent of it for you and others (it’s not)

As for everyone else…

I can’t remember the exact quote but Mo Ran thinks about how as a child he was so poor that he never knew what he liked, and he didn’t actually have opinions on simple stuff like flavors or appearances or the gender of people because that was a luxury for the rich. It’s like that “maybe I would be nonbinary but I have a job” meme lmao . Wanting things, or not wanting them, or making decisions for yourself, is something that isn’t allowed for the poor. If you exist in a structure where you don’t even know what you want, you physically can’t.

Basically every other character who enacts or experiences noncon in all its strokes falls into this bucket. And it’s kind of the earliest instance we catch something explicitly laid out about consent beyond just strictly sexual, and how it very plainly lays out the definition of it as: any position where you do something you don’t want to do is noncon.

But you’re so distracted by the explicitly sexual dramatic yaoi discussions of attic wife sex dungeon noncon you don’t really give it much thought until later. But it’s crazy in retrospect because Meatbun gives us two characters who are a synthesis of these things—Rong Jiu and Song Quitong—really early on, who are both victims of poverty and as a result do and are subject to stuff that’s really terrible. Mo Ran just sucks bad and hates their guts so we’re a bit blind to it even though they came from really similar backgrounds (which kind of ties into a separate but equally interesting question Meatbun poses of if empathy and peace is something only afforded by people who are rich—Mo Ran wasn’t able to save earthworms until he was in a safe environment and had food in his belly).

The matryoshka doll goes further when we find out exactly what happened to Mo Ran, and THAT is what I love about it. That. Because very suddenly your entire idea of who the biggest victim in 2ha is goes from the very straightforward answer to one that’s significantly more complicated. Yes Chu Wanning is a victim but Mo Ran has been a victim since the moment he was born, and then in a brief heartbeat where he was allowed to grow and be kind, he was immediately subjected to the most violating horrific nightmarish thing could happen to him and dude STILL manages to hold some shred of humanity. I joke about Mo Ran being terrible and a piece of work and he is but my boy contains multitudes and he is also the nicest sweetest gentlest boy in the whole world who did nothing wrong (he did) (but also he didn’t) (but also he did) (but he—)

This plays a lot into a third character who I won’t say for spoilers but you’ll definitely know who I’m talking about if you’ve read the whole book!!

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Thank you @airasilver for this question in reference to my OG Wayne Coven AU post

For what I have planned for this AU (and the eventual fic), I honestly go back and forth a LOT on whether Bruce would let his kids turn him.

A part of me even wonders if Alfred would accept the offer. I think it would pain him to put his grandkids in a position where they might have to live without him, but I also think Alfred would feel that he's lived a very fulfilling life. It wouldn't be a decision he makes lightly and regardless of what his choice would be, the Batkids would respect it.

Personally, I feel the issue would be a lot more delicate and complicated for Bruce. I genuinely believe Bruce would be content with his humanity and I could even see it playing a part into his moral code. The setting I have in mind for this AU is a more supernatural Gotham (though to be fair, vampires/werewolves/magic just exist in DC canon so it's not that much of a stretch). The only big difference that I can see in this AU vs actual DC canon is just that vampirism is more commonplace and comes with its own set of complicated societal issues.

Because of that, I could see Bruce viewing his humanity as a tool to help him feel for the fear and pain of others. Also a big part of Bruce's identity as Batman was him attempting to transform his own fears into something he could use to fight against the evil and corruption he saw in Gotham. I think there might be a small bit of Bruce that worries that gaining vampiric abilities would rob him of his identity/motivation.

There's also the fact that Bruce in DC canon is already an outlier among the Justice League for being one of the very few humans with no supernatural/magical/alien/meta/god-like abilities. So placing him in a world where a good portion of the populace is made up various types of vampire wouldn't really change much in that regard.

I think he'd actually find a little bit of enjoyment in the fact that being a normal human guy doesn't stop him from kicking supernatural ass. And having a literal coven made of vampiric children to help him out doesn't exactly hurt, either.

Ultimately, though, what I think Bruce would struggle with most is the idea of putting his kids through the horrible ordeal of burying him. Especially considering that he knows how they'd all react if he ever rejected their offer.

Which is why nobody ever brings the idea up. All the Batkids know how important being human is to Bruce and they know it would be painful for everyone involved to even ask. I have to imagine that their have been many late night discussions between the Batkids about how terrified they are of the possibility of losing Bruce even if it would be to a natural death. Some of them were human before they were turned as well. So a few of them would understand where Bruce was coming from even if they don't like the idea of him dying human.

But like I said before, I think Bruce would start to feel guilty and even a little disgusted with himself as well. Bruce knows very well how painful it is to lose a parent and most of his children's trauma stems from similar experiences. The thought of putting his kids through the same thing again definitely eats him up inside the older he gets.

If I had to pick a time when Bruce would ever be open to the idea of being turned, it would have to be the day he officially retires from being Batman. Whether that's due to a serious injury, old age or because Gotham truly doesn't need him anymore, that's hard to say.

Even then, I don't think any of the Batkids would actually offer to turn him until Bruce brings it up first.

[fanfic-lover-girl]

I hope you don’t mind me asking all these questions but I really wanted to know:

What ships do you love? What ships do you neither love nor hate, simply tolerate? And what ships do you absolutely hate?

Also, if you like Drarry, can you explain why? Was there something in canon that turned you to it or was it just some fanfics that you’ve read and enjoyed the ship in those specific stories? (If you don’t ship drarry, you can ignore this)

Hi anon!

I am assuming you just mean HP ships?

If so, there are no HP ships I love. I have ships I find intriguing, fun, funny or cute like Snirius, Drarry, Lucissa, Druna, Dreville and Dron. In most cases, I started liking the ship due to fanfiction and not purely because of canon. Because that's mainly because I am not a shippy person. I don't watch much media but I can't think of a single romance that truly wowed me, really shook me.

I absolutely hate Jily. Can't stand it. I hate Wolfstar. I strongly dislike Hinny and Romione. I can dig the premise but I don't like the execution of Hinny and Romione. Any ship with Remus and Lily in general. I tried Snupin a few times and I just could not do it. It also doesn't help that I dislike most of the characters involved in these ships.

Ships I tolerate? Bill and Fleur is meh. They seem cute and I liked Fleur's line about being pretty enough for both her and Bill when he got mauled by Greyback. But I don't care about either character much for me to actively ship them. I am fine with Drastoria overall but I am not a fan. I care little for Astoria and I hate the idea that she is responsible for Draco's redemption. Pass me on that. Percy seems to have cute relationships with his girlfriends. He was such a sweetheart with Penelope! For the other ships like Cho/Cedric, Neville/Hannah etc, I don't know much about them to care.

I want to like Dramione...but I dislike Hermione too much. Plus, I hate how Draco and Hermione are portrayed. Even if I find a Dramione fanfic writer who develops the relationship well...there's Hermione still and I don't want Draco with her. Same with Jeverus too. I do like the concept of James being obsessed with Snape and it leading to a toxic or redemptive romance, but I am not interested in James enough to read one. Plus, my tolerance for slash fanfiction is waning.

Drarry for me is very complicated. I have a love-hate relationship with Drarry. I like Drarry for many reasons.

First of all, I am a Draco fan - he's my favourite character. And the best Draco fics tend to lean towards Drarry. I got into HP fanfiction because I wanted a Draco story and it turned out to be a Drarry fic. I feel like Drarry fics tend to explore Draco's character very well and in very interesting ways. Unlike Dramione where Draco is usually horribly OOC. Drarry fics are top-tier.

Second of all, I like the Drarry meta here on Tumblr. While I do not believe romantic Drarry ought to be canon, I do feel like the story suffered by not exploring the Drarry relationship more. Draco and Harry foil each other and have such interesting and entertaining dynamics that I am very disappointed how JKR ended Draco's story in the books.

So basically I got into Drarry through fanfiction and then I learnt about canon more, and I had even more appreciation for the ship.

However, I have moments where I hate Drarry. I don't like Harry much and it would be nice to have a good Draco-centric fic where Harry is not involved. I used to like Harry well enough when I mainly knew his character through analysis and Drarry fanfiction. But as I actually interacted more with the source material...I just don't like him. I hate Harry as a protag and the thought of him with Draco makes me sick sometimes. The daily posts from my mutual iamnmbr3 about Drarry moments in HBP and DH revived my interest in this ship and I have told her that lol. She sucked me back in :')

Sorry, this took so long anon! I had it in my drafts for weeks and forgot about it. Hope my answer satisfies your curiosity :)

[liesmyth]

hi, i've been following you for a while now because it seems we have similar taste in media (especially thematically). an agonizing event occurred last week that's left me somewhat selectively mute and unable to work. i can't find joy or interest or love for anything. the locked tomb has always been there for me during my lowest points (me and harrow are like this 🤞) but i'm in such a horrible place that not even muir is helping. i love reading your TLT metas and trust your judgement based on those, so i was wondering if you had any recommendations for books/media that deals with grief and loss in fantastical settings. or just big, messy, taboo feelings in general. i'm looking for anything at this point.

Hi anon, sorry to hear this and I really hope you feel better soon. I'm sending you a big hug if you want it and I'm thinking of you very fondly. I'm not sure I can recommend exactly what you're asking for but I dearly hope some of these can distract you a bit. Please let me know if you want further content warnings + if anyone else has recs, feel free to chime in!

The Screwfly Solution by James Tiptree Jr. — This is a short story that I reread about once a year when I really want something that'll hit and fuck me up. You can find it in full here. It's an apocalyptic short story, very haunting, and the last line hits like a punch in the gut. CW for gendered violence all over the place if that's something you'd rather avoid.

The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende — This is a generational saga set in 20th century Cile. It isn't sff, although it does have some magical realism elements, so I'm chetaing and putting it in here anyway. The first time I read it, it made me cry, and it remains my favourite Allende novel.

The Last Man Alive by A.S. Neill — A middle grade speculative fiction written in 1930s Britain, which is ostensibly for kids but, in the tradition of British children's literature, gets pretty fucking dark and creepy. It's about a group of schoolchildren and their teacher who survived a poisonous cloud that turned everyone else into stone, and by everyone else I mean the entire world. It gets pretty dark at times, and I remember being sucked-punched finishing the book and reading in the afterword what happened to each of the children who were the inspiration for the characters in the book. It's a very weird little novel, but also interesting in that "vintage scifi" vibe.

Cuckoo Song by Frances Hardinge — This is another middle grade novel and probably the lightest read of this entire fic; [spoilers ahead] it's about a changeling who doesn't have a memory of being made, and at first thinks she is the human girl she was meant to replace, and only slowly realises that something is wrong. It's ultimately a feel-good story but I found it bittersweet all around, and I think the themes of identity and self growth + the creepy fairytale vibes make it worth a rec in case you think it could help right now.

Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica — This is a book about the mundane day-to-day happenings in a dystopia where cannibalism has been legitimised as a form of population control, and large swats of people are regarded as subhuman and eaten. It's very bleak and more plot driven than character-driven, so I'm hesitant to rec it if your usual go-to is TLT; but I think the story does very good things with the tight narrator POV + there are themes of alienations from family, eldercare and anticipation of grief. It's definitely a story that fucked me up a bit.

+ not sff in the least, but I finished this book very recently and it's still on my mind: I recently read The Manicurist's Daughter, a memoir that's primarily about dealing with grief from the loss of a parent, and how grief can destroy a family + trying to reconnect despite that. It's not exactly engrossing in parts, and I'm not sure I should rec it here because I found it too slow-paced to count as a real "cathartic read" but there was something about the numbness after suffering a loss and the ugly side of it that really spoke to me.

+ not a book and I haven't watched it in years but I think you might enjoy Revolutionary Girl Utena if you haven't seen it already. It spoke to me in the same way some parts of TLT do (and it's very gay)