#my high school specifically was so bad..... every time I think of it I feel sick. but when I'm honest with myself:
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okay i'm struggling again
#she bork#tbd#idk i'll be fine life is just very mean and unfair and worst of all ordinary and dull. i go to work i come home i do nothing worthwhile.#weekends are never long enough and i never get to cram enough into them to enjoy myself. if life was mean but also generous and glamorous i#could maybe put up w it bc for every low there would be a high but it's not. it's just mean and you hit that low and then instead of it#being followed by a high you just end up on a plateau and eventually you hit another low. god i just don't think i was supposed to live in#this ordinary boring tedious life like i'm not made for it. not in a pretentious arrogant way but in a way that's like i'm going fucking#crazy like i have cabin fever but w my life rather than my environment (which tbh maybe they come down to one and the same). idk sometimes i#want to just blow up my life and go somewhere else and do something else and have fun and not feel so weighted down by responsibilities and#bills and worry about money specifically. like i was miserable in high school but now i think i look back on it fondly bc 1. no true#responsibilities or high stakes and/but 2. the stakes always FELT high like i was CONSTANTLY up and down and euphoric and depressed. not#healthy at all but it always felt like something was HAPPENING and now it just doesn't. i have always though that bored was the worst thing#to be and now here i am all the time it feels like. bored.#and again at the root of everything is that life is mean. mean mean mean. sometimes shit just HAPPENS that's bad and fucks you over and#there's nothing you can do about it. and again if there was something guaranteed to make up for it that would be fine but there's not. you#just have to recover and let it go and move on. and i'm not good at that
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The Favor 12
Itâs been 800 years and Iâm sorry đ now that we reached this point inspo has come and gone so fast. But I got this part done and the next one on Patreon now! I would love to hear thoughts and suggestions, Iâve already implemented some of what you guys have asked for in my planned parts đ©· enjoy! And happy holidays
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WC- 6.6k
Warnings- mentions of a Dom/sub dynamic, anxiety mention, misogyny, we hate Danny club tee shirts being passed around, tooth rotting fluff, mentions of relationship trauma
Danny hadnât always been a bad boyfriend.Â
At first he had been kind and sweet. With him being a tad bit more outgoing than Y/N, he had brought her into his friend group and integrated her as one of them. He had brought her flowers for their 6 month anniversary, they went on dates on the weekends twice a month, and it was nice. Solid, steady.Â
Until he got a little too comfortable.Â
Y/N could see it now that she had removed her heart from the equation. Danny was lazy, and it had shown more and more as the year mark hit, and then two years, and she had to remind him of Valentineâs Day, make the birthday plans, schedule the dates, or go along with the plans heâd made with his friends. He would get her gifts on those occasions, yes, but the most stereotypical things. It had lacked thought. Flowers and chocolates on Valentineâs Day were nice! She didnât want to come across as ungrateful ever- but when heâd gotten her dark chocolate when he should have known she really disliked it, it made it a little less sweet- pun intended.Â
If someone were to ask Y/N why she stayed so long, she wouldnât have one singular answer. Comfort? Familiarity? Routine? Perhaps lack of self esteem? She wasnât sure. Being raised to think you had a specific way of doing things, of dating, engagement, then marriage, she hadnât really been given many other examples. Growing up, her parents had been high school sweethearts, as had both of their parents. There was no breaking up, it was a one and done type of deal.Â
She wasnât sure if that was set in stone, though. It was an unspoken rule, something left unsaid like a thinly veiled threat in the night air. They spoke of the great love story of finding your one and only and it made her feel like she had to stick to that too. Sheâd never asked her mother about it, because she never really entertained the idea of having any other partner.Â
It was easy with Danny in the way that she knew what to expect. She knew his habits, she knew his work, his schedule. She knew his friends, his plans for life, there were no surprises. Nothing that would jump back out and bite her, catch her off guard as he slowly leaned into being less attentive.&
Maybe thatâs why even when she started having doubts she had stuck them to the back of her mind.Â
There was no denying that Harry had been a very, very big part in all of it. The funny part of it was, she wasnât sure that the sex bit was what truly got her to reconsider even if it had started it all. As incredible, euphoric as she felt- it was the way she felt afterwards. Before, even. When they sat in his bed and he stroked her cheek, feeding her cubes of cantaloupe or strawberries sliced in half, or when heâd picked up a carton of her yogurt and granola after mentioning what she usually had for breakfast at home.Â
It was how gentle he handled her not only physically, but emotionally. He checked in, he cared, he asked her multiple times what she liked and what she didnât. If it was okay to touch her certain ways, if he could kiss her. Just little things that seemed so minuscule in size if you looked at it from the outside but felt so big to her that it tore at her heart.Â
Heâd gotten her that damn water bottle, heâd gotten used to washing her hair when they shared showered, he used that tender tone of voice that had her bones feeling flexible as she melded into him each and every time.Â
And another thing she had found to like about Harry, was the fact that he was just⊠dominant in most regards.
It wasnât overly so. He wasnât this complete alpha, macho man, fists banging on the chest sort of guy. He didnât walk into the room and demand to be the biggest and baddest in the room. It was understated, quiet. If you looked at him you could just⊠see. Feel it. You could see he held it together well, that he liked control in the way he kept things organized and held eye contact regardless of who it was. He very rarely shied away from a situation. In fact, Y/N felt very special for being one of the only people she had seen make him blush or get flustered.Â
It was second nature to him to just do. To pick up where she left off. So it did make her wonder what else she could do for him. How she could help him relieve stress. Yes, there was the sexual aspect that she was more than willing to hand over whenever he wanted (no exaggeration- any time, any place) but she wanted to be the person he allowed himself to loosen up with.Â
Sheâd seen glimpses. Silliness and joking, that sort of tenderness that he didnât seem to give to anyone else, but she wanted to make his life easier. Researching the dynamics between dominants and submissives, she had some questions- but the first thing she needed to do was cut off the dead weight- the only thing holding them back.Â
â-
Meeting at the park was a good idea. She could tell by his face that he had a clue what was going to happen and as much as she tried not to, she did feel a tiny sliver of guilt.Â
Y/N didnât necessarily cheat, no. Sheâd had full permission, ecstatic permission, actually. Heâd handed her over to Harry. Being realistic she knew he didnât realize it would be an option that he wouldnât get her back. Danny was headstrong in a way she found a lot of men were. He didnât consider the possibility that she actually did know what she wanted and once she had a taste, she would want that for herself all the time.
âYouâre leaving me for him.â
âNot necessarily.â She sighed, crossing her arms around her body. âIt isnât just about him. Itâs about the fact that we arenât compatible anymore, and we havenât been in a long time.â
Danny scoffed, tilting his head towards the sky. âSo, what? Iâm nice? I let you go and see and play around to explore that shit and now youâve gotten addicted to that sort of stuff? We can get you to therapy, because it isnât healthy. But obviously it was a mistake to hand you off to him-â
âYes. If you loved me, if you truly wanted me, Daniel- youâd never, ever want someone else to touch me.â She remembered how Harry had said he didnât want to share her. Look, sure. But never touch. âYou said the shit Iâm into is weird, you shame me, then pawn me off to your friend which⊠itâs dangerous. The both of us are lucky Harry is genuinely an amazing guy-â she shot him a look as he let out a noise but continued anyways. âHarry is amazing and kept me safe. He taught me the safe ways of doing things. And I liked it. Iâm not going to lie to you, I really liked all of it and I know you arenât into it.â For once, her face softened.
âAnd you donât have to be. I donât judge you for not wanting to do it. I never have. I was upset by your reactions and how you made me feel bad, but I would never ask you to do something you truly arenât comfortable with. But if this is something I want, something I find myself needing to be fulfilled, Iâm not going to try to change you or myself to try and salvage a relationship that was barely working anyways.â
âBarely working?â Danny looked genuinely confused. âThe fuck are you talking about.â Again, her anger bubbled under the surface, but the exhaustion of the whole thing kept her from exploding.Â
âDanny, you barely gave me attention. When you apologized the first time and we went out to the bar, you brushed me off the whole time. You treated me like an accessory. There was no passion to our relationship.â Y/N wasnât sure how he didnât see that. âWe had the same conversations every day, barely had any excitement. I donât think you loved me- I think I was convenient. And I donât hold that against you either, but I think I was convenient to you.â
âThatâs just how relationships are! They even out and get a little boring.â He defended, nostrils flaring as he was obviously offended with her observation. She had a feeling he would get that way. It was just another reason why they needed to end things.Â
âTo a degree. After years of marriage and things settle down, your partner is supposed to become your best friend. And we barely speak to each other if it isnât about plans, or something you want to. If I feel like talking about something I can physically see you tune me out. This was happening far before you even handed me off to Harry.â
âAnd heâs going to give you that?â He sneered, looking at her like she was some sort of idiot. It had been very clear since the beginning that Danny really did put people into boxes, and Harry was in the sexual deviant one. He had no ability to see the depth in people and that had always been something that bothered her about him, but seeing it now towards someone she was falling for made her angry.Â
âI donât know.â She snapped. âBut regardless if it is him or not, you need to stop that. You just⊠you learn something about someone and you completely disregard them as people. You knew he was into some different stuff and all of a sudden heâs a whore, some kind of sexual deviant that canât commit. Heâs had partners, long term. Heâs caring. Heâs kind. He listens to what I have to say. It isnât just sex every time I go over to his place, you understand that right?âÂ
He didnât, obviously, but the way his brows pulled together and he looked at her like he didnât know what she was talking about. âDid you expect him to string me up and hit me with a paddle a few times and me to run back to you?â She was positive that was the thought process as it was as soon as she saw the face he made. âWe bond. We make breakfast or go out for it, we watch shows, we take his dog on a walk- the dynamic of this whole thing goes far past just sex, Danny. Itâs trust. I know you did minimal research into what this actually is, but Iâm telling you that we werenât just going at it like bunnies. Iâm not hypnotized by his dick. Heâs so nice to me, and he listens, and heâŠ.â Y/N could feel herself getting emotional, so she had to reign it in. He didnât need this sort of response from her.Â
âListen. Iâm sorry. I know we had plans, but theyâre not for me anymore. I have no idea if Harry wants to actually date me or not. I have no clue where my life is going, but I just donât see us being together anymore.â
ââ
It was a bit anticlimactic. Danny couldnât really argue with her, (even if he did try a few times). Not when it was so abundantly clear her mind was made up. It was over. Regardless of what he thought about Harry or her sexual preferences or anything she liked, it was her opinion that mattered. Sheâd been coasting for so long that she had forgotten how it felt to actually be behind the wheel. As terrifying as it was to navigate- it felt good.Â
âA mixed box, please.â Y/N politely asked the worker at the donut shop, knowing Harry was a bit of a fiend for a donut with his coffee. âAn extra chocolate though, if you donât mind.â
âOf course! Half or whole dozen?âÂ
âWhole, please.âÂ
She checked her phone to see a text waiting from him, her mood lightening immediately as her eyes traced over the screen.Â
H: You alright, sweetheart? Please text me when youâre on your way here x.Â
H: p.s. I miss you a little.Â
Her heart felt like it grew too big for her chest as she took a shaky inhale, thumbing over the keyboard to reply to the man. It had been ages since she had gotten giddy over a man texting her, Harry being the first one since sheâd left school honestly. It wasnât that she wanted to constantly compare her past relationship with him, but it was hard not to when everything felt so much better.
Y/N: hiiii â€ïž Iâm good. I made a stop but as soon as Iâm done here Iâll be on my way. Maybe 20?Â
Y/N: p.s. I miss you a little bit tooÂ
Tucking her phone back in her pocket, she thanked the girl and checked out at the register, tapping her card before taking the box and walking back out to her car.Â
She was a single woman, now. Sort of? That was sort of a mystery. She was Harryâs. The fact was clear both in her heart and the bruises sucked over the swell of her breast, also coincidentally over her heart. The question laid in his hands, if they were an actual item or not. Heâd proclaimed she was his what seemed to be a million times but how far did that go?Â
It wasnât like she was dumb- she knew there were feelings in both ends. Men didnât act like that unless they were actually wanting you. She knew she wasnât completely naive for feeling somewhat confident that Harry would want her, but it was the question of in what way. As a submissive? As a girlfriend? That question would be asked tonight, but right now she really just needed a hug.Â
There was no need to knock anymore as she scales the porch steps and approached the door, instead punching in the code to his security system and pushing the door open. The clicking of nails alerted her to Buttons before she even saw the pup, eagerly running towards her with a happy yip.Â
âHello, my darling.â She cooed, hanging her purse up on the hook and toed her shoes off. âThese are not for you, Mâsorry. We can get you a treat though. Whereâs daddy, hm?âÂ
âKitchen!â He called through the house, making her smile widen. She could smell coffee, the dark roast permeating the air as she padded towards the room. It was one of the best times of day to be in the room, sunlight pouring through the wide windows. Even better to frame him as he leaned against the island, waiting for the coffee to finish brewing.Â
He was always beautiful, but seeing him in this light- literally and metaphorically- had her tummy swirling. His hair fluffy from the shower this morning and pushed off his head, the facial hair he had let grow because she said she liked it, the tee shirt tucked into linen pants, all of it was enticing. It felt more intense now that there was no real barrier holding her back from allowing her to think those sorts of things about him.Â
âExcuse me, miss? Whatâs in that box?â His voice tilted as his smile grew, looking at the familiar pink box.Â
âYou know whatâs in the box.â She hummed, placing it down next to him. âItâs where I stopped. Iâm sorry to say I broke into them and ate a chocolate one on the drive here, but thereâs 11 others in there for you to choose from.âÂ
âHow will I ever forgive you.â His eyes rolled as he uncrossed his arms and pulled her into them, seeming to know what she needed before she could even utter a word about it. He knew what she went to do and while it was exciting, he knew she had been slightly anxious about the reaction. âYou alright, darling? Seriously?âÂ
Y/N wasnât sure if it was being in the safety of his arms and realizing that he was the only one she felt this safe with, if it was the slight exhaustion from not being able to sleep well, or the emotion of letting go of something that had once felt like her life, but she felt the wall hit her. Nodding into his chest, she stayed buried there as the tears bubbled over her lashline.Â
âOh, Angel. Mâsorry. Thatâs a dumb question.ââhe sighed, curling his hand around the back of her head and gently running his fingers through her hair. âI know. Sâbeen a lot, the last few weeks. But youâre safe here, yeah? We donât have to talk about it, or we can. Itâs up to you.â
She knew he did want to. He wouldnât press her because he was a good man and he was considerate of her feelings, but he wanted to know what happened and considering the entirety of this, she wanted to. It just⊠needed to be in a minute. Arms wrapped around his form as she took in unsteady breaths, trying to calm herself down. It was easier said than done when he felt like the lifeline now, but she didnât want to cry over it.Â
âWe can.â She gave a watery laugh as she turned her cheek to rest on him, letting herself breathe properly instead of keeping herself shoved against his body. âIâm not upset because we broke up. I-I donât really care about that, actually. Iâm glad. He didnât take it well but he also didnât throw a tantrum. It just upset me because I was seeing him for one of the first times as who he was instead of m-making excuses and I felt a little dumb for staying for so long.â It was embarrassing.
Harry knew she wasnât done so he didnât interrupt, continuing the soothing strokes as she stayed leaning against him. âHe puts people in boxes. Like he⊠he thought you were one dimensional and so was I. Thought that I didnât actually know what I w-wanted, and that we were just fucking this whole time. Couldnât believe that we were actually bonding and that you could possibly like me, or vice versa, outside a bedroom.â Her scoff made him chuckle just a bit, leaning his head down to kiss the top of hers, inhaling the scent of her shampoo.Â
âAnd it really hit me how he couldnât fathom that you have feelings that go past sexual deviancy or that I actually know what I want and I wasnât just addicted to sex or something. Did you know he used to get me chocolates for Valentineâs Day but heâd get dark, and I hate dark chocolate.â She sniffled. âOr heâd make me plan stuff because I was âbetterâ at it. I just felt in charge of everything except plans with his friends, unless it had to do with getting a gift for a wedding or baby shower or birthday. Then I could handle it because⊠I donât know. I was leading the whole thing and I wasnât getting anything in return and Iâm just now realizing how shitty I felt the whole time. I think I just coasted the whole time b-because my family did the whole high school or college sweetheart things and I felt like I needed to, too.â
It made a lot of sense to him, now, why she felt she needed this. The dynamic. Naturally submissive, he knew, but being forced to take the role that she didnât want for the sake of a relationship she was trying to keep afloat merely because she felt a responsibility? His poor fucking girl.Â
âIâm sorry.â He whispered. âI know it isnât exactly the sort of thing you want to hear and it wonât make it better, but Iâm sorry. It hurt you, it made you feel under appreciated and taken for granted. You didnât deserve any of that.âÂ
It wouldnât make a difference now but he wished he had met her first. Met her before Danny had gotten to her and been able to snatch her up, give her the sort of attention she properly needed, take care of her the way she had always been craving. For someone who didnât naturally have that sort of instinct he had to imagine it was exhausting. Harry took pride in being the planner, the provider. He liked being in charge and knowing what was happening, making things easy and smooth. But for Y/N who already didnât want to be doing it, he knew it had to have felt like she was trapped.Â
âMânever going to make you do those things.â He murmured. âNot if you donât want to. I donât⊠it isnât something that Iâd ever want you to do if you didnât want to. There is no right or wrong way to have a relationship, but the burden shouldnât fall on only one person if they donât want it to.â He smeared his lips in a ring of kisses around her hairline. âI know you donât need me tâtell you that how you were treated wasnât right, but I hope you know that you can tell me if you ever feel that way. If you⊠if you donât want to do something, you donât have to.â There was a pause. âWhen weâre not playing.âÂ
âI was gonna hold you to that.â She laughed against him, pulling her head back to look at him. âSo, um.. I didnât want to assume anything, but Iâm gonna now and think that you want to.. that you like me enough to keep me around?â
Harry looked at her for a few moments before shutting his eyes, dropping his head to rest on hers. âIf I hadnât made it clear before, I think Mâgonna make it even clearer now.âÂ
Y/N didnât have a chance to breathe before he scooped her up to sit her in the counter, their lips fused together in a kiss she hadnât fully felt before. Something he had held back, it lingered under it all as she easily melted into him. It felt different, like a barrier had fallen off with the way he handled her. It was still delicate, still tender, but there was no hint of hesitancy in the way he led the kisses, smoothing his thumbs over her cheeks as he cupped her face in those massive hands she loved so much. Unhurried, unrestrained but no sense of urgency.Â
Like he knew now he didnât have to rush, that he had more time to prove to her that he meant every unspoken word he poured into this.Â
The slight salt of her tears reminded him to pull back, to pace himself. Oddly enough, he had no urge to have sex right now. Everything was soft. Silky. Lovelaced and sweet, hinted with the motivation to give her the relationship that she deserved. It meant heâd have to ask her what she would want, but right now he just wanted to bask in the feeling of her in his palms and the warm sun and sugary donuts in the box and the strong coffee finishing its brew across the kitchen.Â
âHi.â He smiled lightly as he pulled back, eyes hooded as he watched hers peel open to meet his own. Her lips were bare of anything but chapstick he had faint taste of- strawberry, he was positive of it- and slightly puffy from the kiss that had gone on for a bit longer than they should have been able to breathe.Â
âHi.â Her voice was a peep as the shyness took over her face, but Harry didnât let her move from it. As much as she wanted to burrow back into his chest, he kept her chin up. The energy was palpable, giddiness rocking his belly as he tugged her lip from her teeth. No biting of lips near him, not right now. Even if it was cute.Â
There was a lot to speak about in regards to them as a pairing, but he wanted to soak in this warmth for a bit before getting down to the gritty bit of it. The girl had brought him his favorite sweets, and he wanted to enjoy them with her.
âDo you want some coffee?âÂ
âTea, please.âÂ
â
Harry hadnât been positive Y/N would go through with it.Â
That wasnât a fault or doubt of her person, not at all. But he knew that she really didnât like hurting people. That much had been something heâd learned very early on in knowing her. She had been mindful of Dannyâs feelings the whole time, trying not to flaunt any of it in his face and not giving details unless he asked- which he hardly did.Â
Theyâd not really gotten any sort of response about what theyâd done in front of him but Harry knew he wasnât going to say anything about it because he would be too ashamed to admit it. He wasnât shocked, though, when he got text messages during the day while Y/N slept soundly on his lap while watching a movie as Harry worked on his phone. She never could stay awake when the movie turned on and he played with her hair. One hand had been gently massaging her scalp while the other typed on his screen when the message popped up on his screen.Â
D: I donât know what the fuck you did to her but I hope youâre happy. I trusted you with her, man. And you fucking stole her. She was mine. That shit youâre into is disgusting and youâve brainwashed her or something, itâs fucked up.Â
Harry almost laughed at the message until he remembered what Y/N had been so upset about. The fact she hadnât been seen as a person with her own emotions and feelings during the duration of the relationship had hit her. It may have started out good but it ended badly when she realized that he didnât think she could choose what she liked. This was a prime example of it.Â
HS: I get being upset, but I didnât steal her. She isnât property. Sheâs capable of making her own decisions and you texting me something like that proves you donât trust her judgment yet again. Iâll do my best to make her happy, I care about her more than you can fathom.Â
HS: I wonât be by any group gatherings, so donât worry about that. Bye.Â
Harry muted the conversation.Â
It really wasnât something he needed to talk to about with him anymore. He wasnât sorry, he didnât regret anything, he didnât think what they did was fucked up. He could go back and forth about how Danny had been the one to hand over his girlfriend and push her right into Harryâs arms but at what cost? Why would he bother?Â
She was curled in his lap, head on his thighs with soft breaths puffing against his shirt. Buttons laid at his dog bed near the fireplace and he felt that happiness bubble up in his stomach again. This was what he wanted.Â
The dominant and submissive dynamic was something he loved and he enjoyed, absolutely. But the base level of his desires was wanting a real relationship with this before all the rest of it fell into place. Happiness at the most base level, trust, peace. Finding the delicate balance.Â
His eyes traced over her features as his mind wandered a bit. Was a full dynamic what she wanted? Was she looking for commitment right off the bat? Or did she need a little breathing room?Â
That didnât seem as likely considering how sheâd come right back home to him.Â
The knowledge that she didnât have anything holding her back was something that pleased him endlessly. He didnât have to worry about stepping on toes. While they hadnât expressed out loud that they wanted to be in a full and committed relationship, he knew she wouldnât be here if she didnât want to be.Â
If he was honest with himself, he knew that an emotional affair had played a part in it. The both of them had been feeling things for each other for a bit, at least for him it had been a while. Y/N had poured her trust into him and he had taken that very seriously. Heâd done his best to keep himself in check but now he really didnât have to.Â
It was astounding how fast emotions could form, how feelings could grow from a seedling planted in the pit of his belly to a full bloom that burst through his chest. Sheâd made a garden inside of him and he wanted her to see just how beautiful it could be, if she gave him the chance. A real one.Â
Harry the dominant was one part of him but it wasnât the whole part. He was a fully fleshed out human with faults. He was picky about keeping his house clean, he could be a bit pushy sometimes, he tended to isolate when he was upset about something. There was hints of insecurity and possessiveness in his personality, jealousy. God, he was a pathetically jealous person even if he tried to keep it under wraps. These were things she hadnât exactly gotten to see, even if there were glimpses here and there. The underlying anxiety was there and prevalent that maybe sheâd see those parts and not like him as much.Â
The reminder that Y/N wasnât that cruel circled back around and called him some, smiling as he felt her stir and scoot closer to him. Her nose nuzzled into his stomach, slow breathing evening out as she got comfortable again pressed up against him. The reminder that she also had faults that he hadnât exactly seen yet was a comfort. He doubted that anything would truly scare him away, though. The obsession was already in place.Â
âMâgonna do my best.â He whispered quietly, letting the back of his hand brush her warm cheek as she snoozed, unaware of his tender words under his breath. Unaware that it felt like he was holding the world in the palm of his hand now, and it was slightly terrifying as he tried to ensure he wouldnât break it. âGonna take care of you, sweet girl. Promise.âÂ
ââ
Their dinner was quiet. Harry had put on jazz music that was understated beneath their talking, the food was good, but there was no denying that they both knew a conversation laid ahead that would be a defining factor.Â
As much as Harry tried to be calm about it, he was slightly nervous. Y/N looked slightly anxious and he tried to keep his shoulders relaxed but it was hard to when he was unsure what part she was anxious about. Thankfully, he didnât have to wait long.Â
âIâm over Danny.â She blurted out. The dam had splintered and she felt like she couldnât keep it back anymore. âI think I was over him for a long time. if he was in love with me, he would have never sent me to fuck around with someone else. If I was truly in love with him, I wouldnât have agreed. I wouldnât have been so eager to come and see you. It has been bothering me for a bit thinking maybe I was a bad person for wanting to move on so quickly but I think I had accepted subconsciously that it had been over for so long that it made it easier for me to feel almost single when I was around you.â Taking a gulp of air, she continued. To his credit Harry didnât interrupt, merely folded his hands on the table and looked intently at her.Â
âThe last thing I want you to consider yourself is a rebound, though. Iâve been torn because⊠while I know I like you a lot, and I do- I really do like you,â she paused to give him a nervous smile. âI wanted to make sure that you understand that I never saw you as someone to move on with when I wasnât distracted by him in the first place. Every single time we were together I forgot about him. As cruel as it sounds⊠maybe the first time I had thought about how much better it was and how this was what I was missing, that I knew heâd never be capable of the things I wanted- but being with you was never about him for me.â
Y/N knew she was a flawed individual and it wasnât a secret. It wasnât morally right to most people and she understood that. But this had felt like a natural turn of events for her.
âYouâve been at the forefront of my mind since we first met up at the coffee shop. I always thought you were slightly intimidating and very handsome, very kind- but once I had the go ahead to think of you as more, it never stopped. It only grew.â Her eyes dropped to her mostly finished plate as she took a deeper breath. It felt like an avalanche of words were trying to come out, all the things she had held back coming out now that she felt safe enough to.Â
âI thought at first it really was a favor to him, that you were doing this because you were a good friend. But I⊠Iâd like to think I have good enough senses to know that you enjoyed it too. You paid me more attention than anyone else ever has. From the texting to check in and remembering things I said off hand, to getting me things that are so unique to me and our conversations⊠it blew me away.â Her fingers fiddled with the napkin before she braved his eyes again.Â
âI just wanted to tell you that I⊠I really would like to try. With you. The um, the dominant stuff too, but⊠more? If that's something youâd want.âÂ
âIt is.â There was no hesitation in his answer, knowing she was losing steam in her rant. âItâs what Iâve wanted for a while. I tried very hard to be respectful at first, you knowâŠâ he swallowed, trying to find the words. âI wanted to be respectful because of you. I didnât want to get out of turn. And then⊠I started to care less about it when I saw how little he cared about your relationship himself. I didnât take the favor on directly because he asked me.â This was a revelation, just a bit. âI took it on because I knew you, I knew the⊠I know how it is wanting to try something and feeling like youâve got no options. I also know how dangerous it could be with the wrong hands on you. And I cared for you, back then more so as a friend but I cared and didnât want you to have a bad experience. I wanted it to be safe and pleasure filled and selfishly, I was attracted to you as it was.âÂ
He may have fooled himself into thinking it was for Danny but he knew deep down why he had done it.Â
âI think that you took me by surprise. How well we worked together from day one. It felt like⊠you were made for me. Yâknow?â
âYeah.â She peeped. âI felt the same.â
The small smile on his lips was a reward for her, the table being a good divider for now. If it wasnât there he knew he would be distracted by wanting to touch her. âGood. I was taken back by it and I wanted more nâmore, I got selfish and greedy for a bit. I broke a little, having you in the cafe bathroom. Doinâ that, it was selfish for me. For us. There wasnât anything pre planned and I knew by how you reacted I wasnât exactly alone in the want to do more but I didnât want to make you feel guilty, so I kept it back for a bit.â
It had been so difficult not to beg for me. Ask her to come over during the week when he felt especially lonely. Even just to have her sit in his bed and leave her scent all over the sheets or hear her padding around while he worked. That was the domesticity that he wanted. âItâs been more than sex for me for a while. I know the dynamic is more than that too, but I found myself wanting you around more. Wanting to do more things with you than what we were supposed to do. When we went out the first time together, had me all sort of nervous in the good way and I realized I was getting myself into something that could be really good, or really bad.â His heart had been on the line the whole time.Â
âListen.â Leaning forward, he clasped his hands together again as he had her eyes. âI want tâbe with you too. I want more. I want⊠the fun side where we play and go to the club, all of that. But I want more, too. The dinners and having you in my bed, without fucking. The softer things. I know that in the past you mentioned you had to control everything in your last relationship and I wanted to warn you that mânot like that- I like control in all areas of my life. Itâs one of those things Iâve tried to work on a bit. Not necessarily of you in the traditional sense but⊠I like tâplan the dates. I like to feel needed, donât mind beinâ the one to take care of you as long as you save that softness for me. Jusâ like you loving on me and being that sweet girl that youâve shown me so far, and itâll make me happy.â His hands itched to grab her. âDoes that sound like something you can deal with.â
âIt sounds like itâs perfect.â A shaky laugh left her as she felt slightly like she was dreaming. âI want to know more about how I can give back to you if youâre doing all the controlling but I⊠I really like that idea. I donât mind you being the one to do all those things.â His version was exactly what she wanted.Â
âGood.â The sigh of relief was enough to relax his shoulders. âNow câmon over here. Youâve been far away from me for far too long.â
Y/N scrambled up and rounded the table, a shy smile lighting up her face as she sat in his lap and giggled in surprise as his mouth met hers, eager and languid as his large hand held her hip. She felt safe. Giddy. Warm. She could get used to this.Â
#jarofstyles#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles smut#harry writing#harry styles imagine#harry drabble#harry styles blurb#harry styles writing#the favor#favorrry#harry fanfic#harry styles au#harry styles fanfictions#harry styles fic#harry styles fluff#harry styles angst#harry smut#Harry fluff#Harry angst
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Everywhere â” Chris Sturniolo
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The late afternoon sun bathed the street in a warm golden hue as you strolled toward the park, your thoughts drifting aimlessly. It had been one of those quiet days, the kind where time seemed to stretch out endlessly, leaving you too much space to think. You smiled to yourself, recalling the latest video Chris and his brothers had uploaded to their wildly popular YouTube channel.
Even though youâd known the trio for yearsâChris, Nick, and Matt had been your friends since high schoolâit still amazed you to see how far theyâd come. Their videos were blowing up, and the world was finally seeing what youâd known all along: the Sturniolo brothers were something special. But it wasnât their success that had your head in the clouds today.
It was Chris.
He had always been the life of the group, the one who could make you laugh until your sides hurt. But somewhere along the way, the feeling you got when you were around him changed. It had become more intense, harder to ignore, and now⊠He was everywhere.
Every time you opened her phone, he was thereâhis smile, his laugh, his playful antics with Nick and Matt. Even when you werenât scrolling through social media, something reminded you of him. A song on the radio, a phrase someone said in passingâeverything seemed to lead back to Chris.
You reached the park and found your usual spot beneath a sprawling oak tree. Chris had texted you earlier, asking if you wanted to hang out, just the two of you. It wasnât unusual, but today, there was a nervous energy buzzing under your skin. You didnât know why.
Maybe it was because of that stupid dream youâd had the other night, where heâd leaned in close, his hand brushing your cheek as he whispered your name. You had woken up in a daze, the feeling of his touch lingering even after you opened her eyes. Ever since then, you couldnât shake the thought of what it would be like if Chris saw you the same way you saw him.
Before you could dive too deeply into your thoughts, you heard his voice.
âHey!â
You turned and saw Chris jogging toward you, his face lit up in that familiar grin that always made your heart skip a beat. He wore a faded band tee and baggy jeans, his hair tousled from the wind, and as always, he looked effortlessly good. You waved as he approached, your pulse quickening.
"Hey," you greeted him as he flopped down on the grass beside you, his usual carefree energy radiating off him.
You sat in comfortable silence for a while, just watching the world go by. Chris was always easy to be aroundâyou never had to force conversation or feel like she needed to entertain you. He was like a constant presence, always there, even when words werenât.
âYouâve been quiet today,â Chris said after a while, glancing over at you.
You shrugged, trying to play it off. âJust thinking.â
âAbout what?â He leaned back on his hands, his eyes studying you in that way that made it impossible for you to lie.
You bit her lip. âJust⊠Stuff.â
Chris raised an eyebrow, a playful smile tugging at his lips. âStuff, huh? Youâre gonna have to be more specific than that.â
You laughed, pushing his shoulder lightly. âFine. Thinking about you. Happy?â
His grin faltered for a split second, but it was so quick you almost missed it. He sat up straighter, his voice softer now. âThinking about me? Why?â
You felt her cheeks heat up. âI donât know. Youâve just been⊠Everywhere lately. On my phone, on my mind.â You forced a laugh, trying to downplay it. âItâs like I canât escape you.â
Chris didnât laugh like you thought he would. Instead, he stared at you, his eyes narrowing slightly as if he were trying to figure something out. The silence stretched between you, and for the first time, it felt a little heavy, like there was something unsaid hanging in the air.
âIs that a bad thing?â he asked, his tone more serious than usual.
You blinked, caught off guard by his question. âNo, itâs not bad. Itâs just⊠I donât know. I guess Iâve just been thinking about us.â
His expression softened, and he leaned in a little closer, his voice low. âWhat about us?â
You hesitated, suddenly feeling vulnerable. This wasnât how you had imagined this conversation going. You hadnât planned on telling him, hadnât even planned on confronting these feelings, but now that the moment was here, it felt impossible to hold back.
âI donât know how to explain it,â you said, your voice barely above a whisper. âBut lately, I just⊠I canât stop thinking about you.â
Chris was silent for a moment, and for the first time, you noticed the shift in his expression. There was no teasing grin, no playful glint in his eyes. Instead, he looked at you with an intensity that made your stomach flip.
âY/N,â he started, his voice soft but steady, âIâve been thinking about you too. For a long time.â
Your heart stopped. âWhat do you mean?â
He ran a hand through his hair, a nervous gesture you recognized. âI mean⊠Itâs not just you whoâs been seeing me everywhere. I canât stop thinking about you either. Every time we hang out, every time I see you, itâs like youâre all I can focus on. Itâs driving me crazy.â
Your breath caught in your throat. You hadnât expected this. You hadnât expected him to feel the same way.
âI thought I was imagining things,â you admitted, your voice shaky. âI didnât think you felt that way.â
Chris let out a short laugh, shaking his head. âAre you kidding me? Iâve been trying to hide it for months.â
The vulnerability in his voice was something you werenât used to hearing from him. Chris was always so carefree, so lighthearted, but now there was a weight to his words that made your heart ache.
âSo, what do we do?â you asked quietly, your eyes searching his.
He reached out, his hand finding yours, and for a moment, everything around you seemed to fade awayâthe noise of the city, the buzz of the world. It was just you, sitting under the oak tree, with years of friendship and something more finally coming to the surface.
âMaybe we stop pretending we donât feel what we feel,â he said, his voice soft but sure. âAnd see what happens.â
You looked down at your hands, your thumb brushing against his. âWhat if it changes everything?â
Chris smiled, and this time, it wasnât teasing. It was warm, genuine. âMaybe it will. But maybe thatâs okay.â
You looked up at him, your heart pounding in your chest. The weight of the moment hung between them, heavy with possibility and uncertainty. But as Chris leaned in, his lips brushing yours in a soft, tentative kiss, all the fears, all the questions melted away.
In that moment, it didnât matter what might change, what risks you were taking. All that mattered was the way he feltâeverywhere.
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tag list: @stuwniolo, @sturnobsessedwh0re, @matts-myloverboy, @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut, @lizzymacdonald06
#chris sturiolo fanfic#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo imagine#nick sturniolo#spotify#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matt x reader#sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#matthew sturniolo#the sturniolo triplets#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo#matthew bernard sturniolo#matthew sturniolo imagine#matthew sturniolo smut#matthew sturniolo x reader#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo triplets x reader#sturniolo x reader#the sturniolos#nicolas sturniolo#Spotify#chris smut#chris x reader
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submitted 11:59 pm
â alternatively, enhypen maknaes as your typical high school crush!
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PAIR. high school! enhypen maknaes x gn!reader (rest under cut) GENRE. fluff, high school au, bullet points WORD COUNT. 1.8k total HYUNG LINE VER.
êčì ì° â kim sunoo
candy hearts, spotify playlists, good morning texts, easy laughter, crescent smiles
in high school, sunoo's known as being super friendly and sociable
and because of that, he has a ton of friends
like he basically knows everyone
you and sunoo have definitely talked before, and you may have had a teensy tiny crush on him from your... downward of five interactions
he's kind of like your hallway crush!
however, you DON'T know that he has had a crush on you for FOREVER
like a MASSIVE one! SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL
and his friends are SICK AND TIRED of hearing about it
man's dedicated because he really saw you in every single one of your phases and STILL decides to like you. he's a real one
he's so whipped like he's hitting up the group chat (named "en- gang" by riki btw) at 1 in the morning being like
"GUESS WHAT?!!! she smiled at me today âșïž i forgot to tell you all"
everyone is so done
"did you talk to her though"
"NO. i'm getting there"
"all you did was make eye contact for the past month be srs rn"
so one day jay and jungwon (your mutual friends), who were in the same english class as you both, were feeling DEVIOUS
it was the fall semester final project, and it was supposed to be worked on in teams of 2 to 3
"bro you are NOT working on it with us the love of your life is literally RIGHT there"
jay and jungwon took matters into their own hands and forcefully excluded sunoo ("you guys are so fake")
so now, with no other option, he had to approach you!
"do you have a group already? if not, we could work together?"
wait wtf he didn't say that
hey....
it was YOU???
you approached him first??? he was SHOCKED
tried to play it cool but his smile gave away how happy he was
"yes!!!! let's work together!!!!! :)"
the project actually went so well he has literally never been happier typing away on that document every night
updates the group chat periodically too
"when we were working on the google doc at 2 am in the morning our cursors went over each otherâs & it was like we were holding hands :>>"
"how do i unsubscribe"
"you're just mad because you've never been in love <333"
secretly sunoo's thanking his friends though because now you guys are basically close friends!
while doing the project together you started talking about school, friends, life, and everything in between
talking with you just seemed so natural, and sunoo wonders why he was so afraid of it before
i'd like to think that with you, sunoo doesn't feel the need to always put on the bubbly and outgoing side of him
sometimes, he can just be quiet and calm sunoo with you, and the silence feels so comfortable and safe
you start hanging out more and more, and soon you've met so many people through sunoo that they think of you whenever they think of him too
it's like a package deal!
throughout this time he's still madly in love with you btw
he just wants to take things slow! he didn't want to scare you away or anything
and yes, the gc is STILL getting their daily sunooyn Down Bad News Network
"today during lunch she gave me a yakult bottle, i think sheâs starting to like me back! :D"
he does Not know you've liked him all this time
the mutual pining is crazy
he (finally) confesses after a whole YEAR
he's super nervous about it, has possible plan b's scripted and sat through 30 minutes of youtube subliminal audios the day before for extra good luck
after he says his whole heartfelt confession, he gives you this handwritten letter with all of his favorite moments with you in the past year, complete with spotify codes next to each one that links to a specific song he thought of at the time
you teared up a bit because oh my gosh it was so cute he was so cute and your heart just melted
you told him you've liked him since forever too and he was FLABBERGASTED
you both also reveal that you've BOTH had hidden spotify playlists dedicated for each other???
let's just say that even years later, the 'en- gang' group chat would NEVER let sunoo live down his digital footprint
ìì ì â yang jungwon
strawberries, honors classes, coming of age, familiarity, inside jokes, paper rings
your childhood best friend
who just so happens to also be mr student council president, king of extracurriculars, resident academic powerhouse
and also a LITTLE SHIT about it
since elementary school, you've got some friendly (and not-so-friendly) rivalry going on
"we both know whoâs going to get the higher score for this chem finalâÂ
âyeah, and itâs going to be meâ
âNAHâÂ
but the drive you get from the competition is really what brought you guys together
it's what keeps you motivated, it's what keeps you going
and he's funny! (though you'd never admit it)
because yes, you're both trying to beat each other for the top spot in class rank
but you also get each other
you've been study buddies since the beginning of time, and he keeps the two of you accountable
sometimes he's TOO responsible
"jungwon don't let the pomodoro timer dictate you life can we PLEASE take a snack break right nowww"
"we literally did that FIVE MINUTES AGO"
outside of studying he's really chill though
one summer he started to get really into alchemy of souls and you binged the series twice together, effectively destroying both of your sleep schedules right before school started
he just loves existing in the same space as you tbh
definitely loves calling you for hours during the school year, whether to review for an upcoming exam or to just have the two of you do your own things while connected on the phone
it's pretty common for the two of you to fall asleep while on call with one another
late night yapping sessions (hello??? his weverse addiction??)
he feels like he can just let his responsibilities go and you're the only person who really understands him and everything he does and why he does it
lowkey.... he also just wants to make you proud :(
he was so happy that one time you offhandedly mentioned how you've seen and appreciated all the hard work he was putting in for one of the school events
when he eventually confessed to you, everything just made sense
like the way your eyes always lingered on his bright smile when he showed up on your doorstep at the crack of dawn
and how even when you tease each other, you never miss how he would reach for your hand with his own before retracting it hurriedly as if changing his mind
now, oh he just makes you feel so loved
texts you at random times of the day just because, sending you the most random images and captioning them with "us"
he's still got the silliness in him though!
"i want to try every strawberry with chocolate combination with you <333"
è„żæć â nishimura riki
neon lights, school dances, sunglasses, finger guns, playful banter, shared hoodies
honestly he's just at school for the vibes
however, he DID take homecoming very seriously
with one goal in mind: to DOMINATE the dance floor
and dominate he did.
he partied in the USA so hard that by the end of the night, everyone was talking about that freshman who left everyone speechless at a HIGH SCHOOL DANCE
among those witnesses of how riki out-danced the entire school population, were you
and you thought he was literally the coolest person ever
fast forward two years, and you're a junior now
it's all good! you've definitely outgrown your month-long admiration of the Guy From Hoco
but yo what guess who sits right next to your seat in class???
it's the Guy From Hoco himself
honestly, you're a pretty chill person so you turned to him and were like "hey aren't you that guy that got famous back during hoco freshman year?"
but now? heâs EMBARRASSED to admit it
"oh uhhh that wasn't me haha"
boy bffr you would know his face anywhere
you kind of gave him a questioning look and shrugged
"oh well, i thought it was really cool though"
he instantly backtracks, because you thought it was cool and NOT an aura loss????
"wait i think i remember now haha that WAS me!!!"
you guys match energy so well tbh
he started to catch feelings for you because of how funny you were and how you two just clicked, but he was stuck in denial FOREVER
"I DON'T CHASE I ATTRACT" (desperate)
heeseung also tried to give him "rizz counseling" but that just ended up with them both saying "mb gang" at everything
which was..... not very rizzy!
you had convinced him to audition for the competition dance team at your school, which he obviously made
he texted you the day he got in too, typing in all caps in everything which he NEVER does
"why would you scream about things in caps lock when you can be cool and nonchalant" YEAH SURE RIKI
updated all his social media bios to @[school]varsitydanceteam the moment he got the acceptance notif
â[name] is my instagram bio tuffâ
âWHY ARE U ALR PUTTING IT IN YOUR BIO"
"because iâm committed and it lets them know iâm part of a professional community"
(heeseung told him that it would show his commitment to the sport and thus his potential to commit to you.)
at this point, riki was ready to fire heeseung and switch to jake as his ghostwriter đ
but little did he know, you started liking him too once you saw how genuinely hardworking he was when he has a goal
like those hours he spent on call with you asking if you thought this one move was clean enough?? he really put in his all (he also wanted to impress you)
you kind of had the idea that he liked you back, because let's be honest he was being a bit obvious about it
the way he almost choked when you hugged him congratulations??? he looked DAZED for a whole hour
you had to confess to riki because his heejake rizz courses consisted mainly of heeseung and jake arguing about whose approach was better
even when you two became a couple, you still had teasing as a love language LMAO
"HAHA đ«”đ«” YOU'RE SO SHORT i still love you though <3"
it's just how he shows his love, but he also loves draping his arm across your shoulders when walking around
made sure to emphasize to heeseung and jake that this was all his doing and they did not help him at ALL
but let's be real, YOU were the rizziest of them all
and riki agrees <3
TAGLIST : @star-sim @boyfiejay @jlheon @jwsdoll @dimplewonie @suneng @en-gelic @mygnolia @asteria-wood
#k-labels#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen fluff#enhypen x reader#sunoo#kim sunoo#sunoo enhypen#sunoo fluff#sunoo imagines#sunoo x reader#jungwon#jungwon x reader#jungwon imagines#jungwon fluff#enhypen riki#nishimura riki#riki x reader#riki fluff#niki fluff#niki x reader#ashtxrie#â ash writes!
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ch. 21: hyucks personal issue
Itâs two in the morning as Donghyuck thrashes in his bed, pulling and tossing his sheets around to find some form of comfort that would help him sleep. His mind is plagued with thoughts of you and even at this ungodly hour the butterflies in his stomach refuse to settle.
Jisungâs arm draping across his chest snaps him out of his thoughts and he grimaces. He shoves the younger boy aside and slips out of the bed, tip toeing towards the bedroom door before quietly exiting. He walks through the living room and pulls at the sliding doors that lead him to the ocean view balcony.
The sounds of the waves crashing against the shore did little to ease the racing of Donghyuckâs mind. He was in what he could only describe as complete agony, his own thoughts eating at his brain as he stared off into the inky sky.
His mind wanders back to high school, specifically to the time when you had confessed to him and he chuckles to himself. He remembers the glow of your rosy cheeks and the way you nervously tugged at the hem of your knitted sweater. He remembers his heart beating out of his chest and his words being stuck in his throat as you told him you liked him. He winces when he recalls the way your eyes filled with tears when he stood there dumbfounded and unable to speak. He leans against the balcony railing and runs his hands through his hair.
âIs there room for me out here?â
Donghyuck turns his head when he hears your voice behind him, a smile etching itself onto his features when he sees a large blanket swaddling your body. He gestures to the spot next to him and you waddle over. Your eyes glisten as they look out at the view, and his own twinkle with adoration.
âWhy are you up?â He asks quietly.
âI donât know. Iâve been having a hard time sleeping since the whole campus intruder thing,â You confess.
âYou should have told me! I could have kept you company,â He frowns.
âI wouldnât wanna bother you, Hyuck,â You laugh to yourself.
âYou wouldnât be a bother,â He furrows his brows.
You meet his eyes and send him a small smile. A comfortable silence blankets the two of you as you both look out at the ocean, a slight breeze causing Donghyuck to shiver.
âHere,â You open your blanket towards him and he smiles before moving closer to you and wrapping the blanket around himself.
Your arms brush against each other as he adjusts himself and you internally sigh in relief that the dark of the night hides the rose tint on your cheeks.
âWhy are you up?â You break the silence.
âThinking about a lot of things,â He exhales.
âLike what?â
You swear you see the ghost of a smirk on his face and you quirk a brow.
âFeelings, the past, you,â he replies calmly and you tense up beside him.
âCare to elaborate?â You look at him in anticipation.
He lets out a breath as his eyes follow the way the water rolls onto the sand.
âI think,â he pauses and laughs, âI think I might have always had feelings for you.â
You stare at the side of his face, your features twisting in disbelief as he continues to stare out at the ocean.
"Why did you never tell me?"
"It was a personal issue,â he shrugs.
âYou having feelings for me kind of also involves me."
He laughs at your statement and you stare at him incredulously, waiting for a response.
âItâs funny, I wasnât able to tell you back then because I think I just couldnâtâŠbelieve it? This sounds so stupid but I just feltâfeelâŠI still feel that itâd be impossible for someone like you to like someone like me,â he looks down and picks at his fingers.
âYou say that as if youâre so bad.â
âCome on Y/N. Do you know anyone else who would use âheyyy queenâ in a professional setting?â
You both laugh at the memory of his message to Doyoung. The laughter trails off and you both look ahead.
âI also donât know anyone else who would bring me coffee every morning because they know I donât sleep well. Or anyone else who would ask their manager to work overtime so Iâm not alone during my night shifts.â
He gawks at you, unaware that you had noticed his acts of service that he tried to brush off as coincidences.
âHyuck.â
âY/N.â
âYou said you think youâve always had feelings for me right?â
âCorrect,â he raises his brow.
âWell,â you sigh, bracing yourself, âI know Iâve always had feelings for you.â
His eyes bulge out of his head and it reminds you of your first encounter with him at the convenience store. You start laughing quietly to yourself at first, but the longer he stayed silent the louder you became.
âIs thisâŠa prank?â He speaks up after what felt like decades of silence.
âWhat? No. Iâm laughing because this is the second time Iâve confessed to you. Youâre the only person Iâve confessed to in my entire lifetime,â You manage to breathe out between fits of laughter, and he stares at you with nothing but confusion.
âSo you currently like me?â He points at himself as he speaks.
âYeah, thatâs what I said.â
âYou-â
âYep.â
âLike-â
âMhm.â
âMe?â His eyebrows are drawn together as he points between you two.
âYep, thatâs about right,â you answer calmly.
âWhat about Jaehyun? Do you know how much journaling Jaemin made me do just so I could come to terms with the fact that you like him?â He sputters.
âHyuck, one of the first things Jaehyun knew about me was that Iâve liked you since high school. We got closer because he was trying to help me with you.â
His expression is unreadable for a moment, before his features soften and he seems to melt in relief. He pulls you into his arms and your heart jumps at the sudden contact.
âThank you,â he mumbles into your hair.
âFor?â
âLiking me. Waiting for me. All of it,â he confesses as he gently sways you both back and forth.
You both stay like this for a while, neither of you wanting to leave the warmth of the other. It isnât until your phone buzzes in your pocket do you reluctantly pull away.
âItâs Karina. Sheâs asking where I am,â You speak quietly as you read the message on your phone.
âYou should head back inside then,â he frowns, removing the blanket from his shoulders and wrapping it around you.
âDonât stay up too late,â you point your finger at him and he nods. âWeâll talk more tomorrow?â
He smiles at you with a nod of reassurance, and you slide the glass door open to leave.
âOh, and Hyuck?â You turn to him one more time and he raises his eyebrows, prompting you to continue.
You raise yourself onto your tippy toes and plant a kiss on his cheek.
âGoodnight,â you smile sweetly at his frozen form before walking back into the living room and sliding the door shut.
As you get ready to turn the corner towards your shared room with Karina, you peek over at the balcony one last time to see Donghyuck pumping his fists in the air before clasping them together and staring up at the sky as if talking to God.
You wonder if it would have ever been possible for you to stop liking him.
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wc: a little over 1.2k my badđ
ch. 22: y/nhyuckism
masterlistïŒïŒŸïŒżïŒŸïŒâ
notes: not proofread but i looooove this chapter sm !!! i hope u love it as much as i do my dears
taglist: @dojaejunging @nosungluv @snflwrhaerecs4u @foxy-kitsune @haecnh @jising-jisang-jisung @soobunsbun @bath1lda @haechansbbg @hamjwis @hancafe @wonbin-truther @beomgyusonlywife @sehunniepot @jaeyunluvbot @multifandomania @https-yeonjun @swee7dream @woshixinqgiu @defzcl @heheheeral @meowtella @grassbutneo @beommii @jinostooth
#haechan#haechan fluff#haechan imagines#haechan smut#chenle#jaemin#jeno#mark lee#park jisung#renjun#nct 127#nct 127 fluff#nct 127 imagines#nct dream au#nct dream smut#nct dream imagines#nct 127 smut#nct au#nct fluff#nct dream#nct imagines#nct dream social media au#nct 127 social media au#nct u#nct#nct scenarios#nct social media au#kpop#kpop social media au#karina
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Separate from that other anon I for one would personally love to hear your Peri and Harbinger/Foxglove headcanons
OMG YAYYYYY. I HAVE QUITE A FEW â„ (for my own convenience i'm referring to them by their og series names for reasons)
the events of timmy's secret wish are what first planted the seeds of genuine, fully positive feelings and fondness for poof in foop's mind and heart... maybe even a puppy love crush. he seriously thought "well, dying in poof's arms wouldn't be so bad" and hoped that wouldn't awaken something in him. it did.
in a lot of episodes they often have differently colored eyes - foop has a darker shade of purple. i think poof's noticed, and i think he even likes the look of those darker eyes.
given how foop would cry out for poof to protect or save him, i think that poof grows to be incredibly protective of foop⊠poof will square up for his square!!!
hes the one telling cashiers that foop asked for no pickles, imho â„
at some point poof stopped intervening in foop's nefarious schemes so i've kind of interpreted poof as just... not caring anymore. he can't stay mad at foop for long, and he finds himself not even bothered by whatever damages he ends up causing anyways. i think he might even find his antics amusing.
after the events of certifiable super sitter, foop actually feels comfortable with admitting that poof is his best friend-
it'd take a few more years to admit it to poof's face, though, it's too embarrassing for him! he'll gush to chloe constantly, though - she knows he's in love with poof before either of them does.
foop's first boyfriend was actually their mutual friend sammy sweetsparkle in high school, while poof had kind of an on-and-off puppy love situationship with goldie... until he kind of flipped out on her about constantly getting foop's name wrong in the middle of a jealousy induced break-down. foop was actually thrilled to hear that poof let his dark side show over wanting to be with him.
sammy and foop ironically broke up on good terms because sammy's best attempt at understanding the fairy/antifairy situation is that they must be soulmates and he didn't want to stand in the way of true love. he's their second biggest supporter.
technically poof confessed first but his confession was literally just screaming IF I DONT SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU I AM LITERALLY GOING TO BLOW SOMETHING UP!!!! at foop, which was a love confession that would only appeal to foop.
chloe TRIED to plan the "perfect" first date for them but it was horribly awkward and not to their tastes. so instead their first REAL date was poof taking foop to a kelly clarkson concert where they got matching "my life would suck without you" t-shirts.
poof actually buys - WITH HUMAN MONEY, IN A HUMAN DISGUISE - every kelly clarkson album as it releases for foop.
they nearly elope several times but got caught by wanda every time. wanda doesn't really like the fact that poof is with foop but doesn't wanna turn into mama cosma about it so she comes to terms with it. she doesnt want them to just run away and get married when she doesn't think they're ready yet either, though. timmy has to be the one to appeal to foop's desire for attention to convince them to have a big wedding after they graduate. poof doesnt care whether he has a big wedding or just elopes - as long as foop is his. if foop wants a big wedding, that's what they'll have.
whenever people ask how long they've been together they tend to go silent because their first instinct is to say "about 50 years" even though they're only about 22-24, and they've only officially been a couple for about 6 or 7 years. foop's second instinct is also to say "from the very first moment i drew breath" like the dramatic weirdo he is. which isn't even accurate and they both know it.
literally so specific to my own little homebrewed post-canon that you can't even pretend it works with anw:
in my elaborate fanon after AC and AW abandoned foop in season 10, poof begs wanda to find someone who would be willing to take foop in. luckily, wanda knew just the fairies for the job.
after getting adopted foop changes his name to foxglove thimbleplight - poof changed his last name to thimbleplight when they got married so he becomes periwinkle thimbleplight. :3
they still call each other poof and foop - usually in the form of embarrassingly cheesy affectionate nicknames. we're talking "smoopy-poo" level cheesy usage here.
(actually that one still works with anw but the art i drew is clearly my own designs and not the anw designs and it's exceedingly cheesy so)
poof convinced foop to go to the fairy academy with him - initially foop was hesitant because he⊠wants to⊠but⊠antifairies cant become godparents, right??? poof was willing to do literally anything it would take to keep foop by his side though. he initially considers manipulating some poor unsuspecting godparent to quit on their godkid just so he can hijack the ensuing fairy idol for foop to win and take their job⊠it's devious, and he knows foop would have loved that he did something so malicious just for him, but in the end he just gets into a fight with jorgen and the fairy council about it. he argues that technically foop is legally a fairy now since he was adopted by fairies, so he should be allowed to become a godparent. they end up agreeing.
their relationship was kind of a controversial issue in fairyworld for a few years because of poof's high profile status - while they're not the first fairy and anti-fairy couple, they're the first recorded instance of a fairy coupled with their own counterpart in eons. the media did get bored of them eventually though.
they already wanted to get married after high school but they agreed to postpone the wedding until after they graduated from the fairy academy so they had enough free time to make it as over the top as foop wanted it to be. poof actually proposed to foop AGAIN with a diamond ring after they graduated from the fairy academy, even though they were technically already engaged - with the intent of being as over-the-top dramatic and annoying to the rest of their classmates as possible.
^ which is similar to what cosmo and wanda did as teens though details differ. cosmo is literally the only one who seems to realize this and audibly goes "WOW, DEJA VU..." when this all happens.
while wanda had to get used to poof and foop together, cosmo accepted it pretty much immediately. mostly because sometimes they reminded him of himself and wanda. (<- actually canon)
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Fools | Kyra Cooney-Cross x ND!Reader
Words: 4.3k
Summary: no one understood your mind, until you met Kyra.
Notes: Guys I have no knowledge of how Emirates is laid out, how meeting players off the pitch works etc, so Iâm completely making this shit up Iâm sorry. also sorry for the super long introduction, and the shit writing, I havenât written in months.
Warnings: mentions of abuse - not proofread. i'm so sorry if this is so shit i genuinely haven't written in months. i wanted this one to be good so bad but i just don't think it is
the person who requested this has since deactivated so i actually feel so bad that i didn't get this out while they were on here. i'm genuinely so sorry for the past like 6 months.
I always struggled with social interactions. I didnât understand it for a long time, why I always had to smile and hug people, why I had to lie about certain things like how I thought my auntâs bright green hat looked, why I couldnât ramble about Star Wars or the new penguin facts I just learned.
Then there were the sounds, and lights and the way things felt. Everything had to be specific, or I couldnât focus. Sometimes if it was bad enough that I would have a breakdown, unable to do anything. My parents tried to scold it out of me when as a kid I couldnât eat certain foods or wear the clothes they wanted. Sometimes if they deemed it worthy, Iâd be met with the flesh of a palm against my cheek or bottom.
-
When I was 12, I presented the idea that maybe I was autistic to my parents. Iâd researched it at school for a social emotional learning class we had to take, and I couldnât help but notice the similarities I found within myself. If I think about it hard enough, I can feel every burning outline of the dark red hand marks that bloomed on my skin hours after the interaction, and the burning of my eyes as my stomach rumbled, drowned out by the music rumbling through my headphones.
-
At 17 I emancipated from my parents and moved to North Watford, renting out a small studio apartment above a record shop. I completed my final year of high school, working part time in the store, building a much-desired routine. The man that owned the shop and my apartment, and his young daughter, were migrants from Cuba, and more than happy to accommodate to my needs. They even chipped in to help me pay for my autism screening after I graduated high school.
I think they were the first people I willingly hugged ever.
I stopped masking when I moved, so the daughter, Elena; 5, took a few months to understand why I didnât like touch or loud noises and why I didnât understand some of the jokes she said that others usually laughed at. Not that Iâd had the diagnosis at that time, but she was happy to just spend time with me. Every afternoon when I came back from school and started my shift, sheâd beg me for more penguin facts, asking which was my favourite penguin. In return sheâd spend the 2-hour shift drawing me something, usually a penguin, to pin on my corkboard at home.
Iâd then help with her homework while Camilo closed shop and posted any online orders. It was a routine I cherished deeply.
-
Now, 3 and a bit years later at 21 years old, they managed to drag me to a football game. Equipped with headphones and a couple small sensory toys, as well as a hoodie under the âMiedemaâ jersey, the material of which originally had me tugging and prying the shirt away from my skin.
Elena and Camilo had been big fans of Arsenal for as long as Iâd known them, going to every home game, begging me to join them every week without fail. I finally caved during a break in my uni courses, with nothing to do and Elenaâs birthday falling on the day of a game, there was no other choice.
The newly 9-year-old basically imploded when she saw my printed ticket stub, tucked tightly into her birthday card. I gently ruffled her hair, which had become my version of hugging her, and showed her the 3 matching red and white #11 jerseys I purchased not long ago. Sheâd talked a lot about this Vivianne Miedema and how she wanted to be just like her when she grew up, but sheâd never gotten a jersey, or seats on the bottom tier. Today was the day.
~
âCome ooonnn I want to get to our seats!â the pinky of her left hand links with my right one as her other hand is holding her dadâs, and sheâs dragging us down the lane toward the entrance.
âSlow down Pollito! We have 20 more minutes until we need to be seated.â My special schedule for the day runs through my head as I check my watch. Plenty of time as long as the crowd keeps flowing.
âI wish you didnât learn Spanish. Itâs such a silly nickname.â
âBut youâre my little chicken.â I send a joking frown her way and she replies with a toothless grin.
With the abrupt end to the conversation, we arrive at the gate. Showing the stewardess our tickets to be scanned, we then head toward our seats. As Camilo and I take our seats at the very front, instead of make way to their usual seats a tier up, Elena stops and looks back and forth between us.
âThereâs no way you got us these seats.â Without a word I pull the girl in between us and she begins to ramble about how excited she is to be able to see the game so close, still able to be clearly heard through my headphones I manage to slip over my ears.
~
The game is drawn 1-1 just after half time, but Arsenal is close to having the upper hand. From across the pitch, Elena spots the tall and lanky number 11, Vivianne Miedema, pulling off her fluoro yellow bib and warm up shirt and lining up next to number 32 behind the fourth official who is prepping her sign. With a couple of whacks to my arm and an aggressive point of her finger, Elena makes me and Camilo very aware of the impending entrance of her favourite player, and another really attractive girl who is very obviously wearing her socks on the wrong feet. The thought makes me squirm but a shot on goal quickly manages to take my focus.
âWhoâs the one coming on with Viv? Youâve never told me about number 32.â Itâs hard to take my eyes off the girl as she jumps from one foot to the other, anticipating her entrance.
âOh thatâs Kyra Cooney-Cross! Sheâs Australian, she transferred at the start of the season. Jonas should play her more.â I acknowledge her words with a hum and a nod before we join in cheering Viv and Kyra on.
My eyes are glued to Kyra the rest of the game. Without any knowledge of how football works, Iâm left to assume sheâs good with the way she dances around players and passes the ball. It was weird, but her movement was so free flowing it would not be atrocious to confuse her with a ballerina. Elegant and calculated, no hesitation.
~
âWhere are we going?â my pinky is once again linked with Elenaâs as I drag her and Camilo through Emirates.
âPapa where is she going? The exit is that way.â
âI have no clue chica, but I suppose we should trust her aye?â with that, the father-daughter duo track behind me.
Eventually I stop just where the opening of the tunnel leads out on to the pitch and show a lady the pass Iâd been carrying around all day. She smiles and begins walking down the tunnel, waving behind her as a sign for us to follow.
âWhatâs going on?â Elena asks once again, but I just follow the lady onto the pitch, where multiple members of the Arsenal squad are now loitering around, obviously waiting for something, or someone. At the front of the group is Viv, and when she spots the small girl behind me her eyes light up.
âHi! You must be Elena. Weâve heard a lot about you!â she sends the girl a smile, but Elena doesnât make any move to continue the conversation. My head whips to her and I nearly have to laugh from how adorable she is. Her jaw has dropped open and her eyes are welling up with tears, so I ruffle her hair and bend down to her height, removing my headphones.
âWhatâs up buttercup?â I lightly tap her head.
âThatâs really her.â she whispers to me, her eyes not leaving the Dutch woman, who lets out a chuckle.
âYes it is.â
âHow?â I tap the side of my nose at her question indicating itâs to be left a secret.
âCan I have a hug?â Viv kneels on one knee and opens her arms and Elena suddenly breaks lose from her trance and runs up to her hero.
âItâs nice to meet you liefje, I hear youâve been a fan for a long time. And todayâs your birthday. How old are you turning?â
âNine!â
âOh wow, youâre growing up!â
âI know, but Y/N still calls me Pollito. Iâm not a little chicken.â Everyone looking on bursts out laughing as Elena frowns, and while I join them, the loud sound simply reminds me of the lack of protection on my ears.
~
Elena gets whisked off to talk and play around with Viv and some of the other girls, who seem to all have taken a genuine liking to the young girl, Camilo following to watch over them. I stand firmly on the sidelines, fidgeting with an infinity cube and trying to forget the sudden scratching of my hoodieâs tag on the back of my neck and the tightness of my socks, when a now familiar face pops in front of me.
I donât notice her at first, my eyes are closed and Iâm trying breathing patterns in hopes that the overstimulating sensations with dissipate. Itâs only when I open my eyes to check on Elena that I get the shock of my life. Number 32 is just standing in front of me, staring, waiting for me to notice her. no less than a minute ago sheâd been spinning Elena around and laughing with her, which Iâd found alarmingly adorable, howâd she get here so fast?
She doesnât say anything, she just smiles and waves, and I realise she must think I canât hear her with my headphones on, which many people tend to ignore. Wow sheâs much prettier up close.
âHi, Iâm Y/Nâ I return her smile, but donât make any move to remove the headphones.
âIâm Kyra.â Her voice is muffled but her accent is incredible and like music to my ears.
âYou played really well today.â Is she blushing? Red creeps up her neck and finds home on her round cheeks as she smiles brightly.
âAh thanks, I try to give it my all. Hoping to prove I deserve more game time.â
âYou donât get played often?â another chuckle passes her lips and I feel my stomach tighten.
âUh no. I take it youâre not a big football fan?â
âWhat gives you that idea.â
âWell rocking up to an Arsenal game with blue nails for a start.â I cock my head to the side and give her a confused look. I did a lot of research for today, there was no room for me to mess up.
âChelsea, our biggest rivals, their colour is blue. Itâs basically forbidden for an arsenal fan to wear blue to a game. Trust me, I learnt the hard way.â
Iâm quick to hide my hands in the pocket at the front of my hoodie, fidgeting with my nails. How did I manage to fuck that up?
âYou donât really have to worry, just maybe keep it in mind if you ever come to another game. I hope you do by the way.â She flashes me a smile that makes me feel warm and I canât help myself.
âYouâre very pretty.â Sheâs about to reply when I glance down and notice her socks are still wrong.
âAnd Iâm not sure if you know but your socks are on the wrong feet.â Itâs quiet for a moment and Iâm not sure if my common candour has once again overstepped. I canât even open my mouth to apologise before she giggles.
âI knew there was something wrong. I keep doing it but no one tells me until after the game⊠and youâre quite beautiful yourself. If you donât mind me saying.â My eyes continue to avoid her face as I bounce on the balls of my feet and try to refrain from shaking my hands, my most common stim.
âThank you.â
Weâre silent for a minute or so, which I donât mind now that Iâm more familiar with her. I continue to watch Elena and Camilo, who are now playing in a 5v5, Viv carrying the girl halfway down their makeshift pitch before helping her kick the ball. When her laughs echo through the stadium, joy breaking through her screams and from the yells of her dad who is playing a rather poor referee, Iâm reminded of how much I love this family. I canât help the smile on my face.
âYour sister is very adorable.â I glance to my side where Kyra now resides and contemplate telling her she isnât my sister, but the words get stuck in my throat. If I were to say they werenât my family after all theyâve done for me, then Iâd be lying.
âYeah. Sheâs basically my whole life.â
âHey can I ask about the headphones? I mean you donât have to say anything if you donât want but-â
âIâm autistic. Struggle really bad with sound and other stimulants. I wear headphones to dampen sounds, especially in public. And stadiums are full of sounds.â My palms sweat a little and my breath is laboured for a moment. This is usually the part where people decide Iâm a freak and never talk to me again.
âOh cool. I totally get that, the sound thing.â That warm feeling returns. She doesnât question anything, she just agrees.
~
Eventually the meet and greet had to end, but I manage to get a few of the girlâs numbers, including number 32âs. Something I hadnât expected was that the team would love Elena so much that they wanted to organise season tickets and some more passes to meet up after home games. I couldnât help but be a little proud of myself as the young girl rambled about how amazing it was to get to hang out with her idols, and the prospect of seeing them again.
~
Uni starts back up the following week, so I donât join the two for a game for quite a while. Despite that, I find myself texting Kyra most days, a good morning and goodnight routine quickly being established. We ask each other questions about each other. âWhat did you want to be if football didnât work out?â âWhat made you want to study your course?â âwhatâs your favourite thing about Australia?â.
She liked to ask me about parts of my autism every now and then. She wanted to know what things to avoid, what topics made me ramble for ages, safe foods. The only other people who had ever cared this much were Elena and Camilo. The two of which had definitely taken note of how happy Iâd grown since the game.
âWho are you talking to Angelito? You havenât smiled this big in a long time.â Camilo takes a seat beside me behind the desk of the store
There is no need to hide the blossoming relationship from him, so I turn my screen to show the messages between Kyra and I, a bold âNo. 32â under a very weird but unmistakable picture of the girl. He hums and smiles, lightly nudging our shoulders together.
âShe likes you.â
âPft no she doesnât.â
ââyouâre so cute.â âI really like you.â âIâll save that for when I take you on a date.â With a winky face emoji. She literally admits she likes you. Twice.â
âI thought that was that flirty thing people do with their friends.â
âI know when people like each other.â
âHow Milo?â
âI have a gift.â
âA gift hmm?â he just smiles widely down at me before taking my phone again. He begins to type something.
âWhat are you writing Milo? Milo!â I glance over his shoulder.
âI really like you and would like to go on a date if youâre free.â Iâm about to scold him but three dots appear as Kyra begins typing.
âIf this works you owe me an extra hour this week.â
âYou are an evil schemer Camilo.â I say before squeezing his shoulder, a common sign of affection weâd developed.
âIâd really like that. Tomorrowâs our day off if that works.â
I canât help the squeal I let out as Camilo writes a response in confirmation.
âIâm going on a date.â
âYou deserve this kiddo.â
~
Kyra and I agree on a dinner date at a restaurant Iâd mentioned really enjoying a few months ago, that I hadnât had a chance to visit since. Iâd made the reservation, asking for the specific table Iâd sat at the last time I came, and Iâd already decided on what I was getting before I even hoped in the car to drive there.
Iâd planned everything perfectly. The place, my outfit, what time I had to leave to arrive there 10 minutes before our agreed upon time. I hadnât taken into account the car speeding through a red light and crashing into the car in the right lane beside me. Or the fact that due to the momentum Iâd get caught between the 2 cars and the building on the corner of the street I was just about to turn down. No more than 15 metres from the restaurant but Iâm trapped and the seatbelt is too tight and my head hurts. Iâm crushed between my door and the centre console and all the sirens and ambulance lights approaching are too much and all I can do it cry.
If I could just reach my bag in the footwell of the passenger seat I could get my headphones to relieve some of the stimulation, but I canât bend that way without my ribs screaming and whatever is poking my hip in my back making itself known.
I pray to every god I can name that I pass out, but no one hears as the jaws of life pry open my door. When were the other cars moved?
âMaâam we have to cut you out. my colleague here is going to hold you up. Is that okay?â I donât have any energy to say no, so I nod, waiting for some scissors to snip away at the seatbelt. Instead, I hear an electric saw whir to life.
âW- whatâs the saw for?â my words are barely recognisable as they slur together.
âMaâam everything is okay, just stay still for us okay?â
The sawing is over quicker than it begun, and the paramedics make an effort to move me as carefully as they can onto the stretcher, then into the ambulance. I make no move to complain about how the neck brace is itchy and feels suffocating.
A minute passes and through the newly developed ringing in my ears, I hear someone calling my name. they sound so far away but when I open my eyes again, Kyra is standing above me, next to the paramedic whoâs hooking me up to monitors,
âDo you know this lady maâam?â she asks me as I stare up at the girl I was meant to be on a date with.
âYeah sheâs my girlfriend.â A voice in the back of my head is worried that maybe that will freak Kyra out, but I know they wonât let her ride with me if we donât have some close connection and for some reason friend does not cross my mind.
They allow her to take the extra seat beside me and she loops her pinky with mine. She keeps glancing down toward my stomach and taking deep breaths as we make our way down the streets of London. I try to see what sheâs looking at but the brace doesnât allow me to look that far down.
âYouâre going to be okay.â She whispers as they roll me out of the ambulance, and she manages to quickly kiss me before Iâm gone from view.
~
I donât know how long Iâm out for, but when I wake up there is a sterile white light beaming down on me and I have to instantly close my eyes. Iâm quick to take note of the horrible feeling of the hospital gown I definitely wasnât in when Iâd gone under.
âPapa! Sheâs awake!â I let out a groan at the yell but and quick to smile once the voice registers in my head.
âPollito.â My voice is no more than a whisper, hoarse and dry.
âHey Angelito. How are you feeling.â
âHorrible. The lightâs too bright and the gown is so itchy.â Neither Elena nor Camilo leave my side, but the light is off within seconds.
âI more meant physically. You were hit pretty hard.â The screeching of tyres, the smell of burnt rubber, the flashing lights, all rush back to me. So does the pain.
âNow that you mention it. Whatâs the damage?â itâs meant as a joke but Iâm trying not to cry.
â3 broken ribs, 2 fractured, a torn vastus lateralis in your thigh, a lot of muscle damage in your back. Itâs going to be a lot of physical therapy kiddo.â The thought has bile rising in my throat.
âFuck me.â
âItâs okay, weâre going to be here the whole way. All of us.â By now I could know the voice in a crowd of people.
I turn my head and there she is. Kyra is sat in one of the uncomfortable hospital seats with her hand on top of mine.
âIf itâs okay with you, Camilo, me and some of the arsenal girls are going to sort out a schedule to take turns helping you with PT. Viv was really hoping she could give some tips considering how long she spent doing PT.â
âThat sounds perfect. But please tell me one of you has my pyjamas. I need to get out of this gown.â
~
There was no lie in how difficult rehab was. I had an hour appointment at the hospital every day and additional work at home that Milo, Kyra and some of the arsenal girls happily helped with. The hardest hurdle was amount of physical touch that was required. My physical therapist, Jordan, always made sure I knew when she needed to touch my leg or something, but that did very little to sooth the feeling that crawled beneath my skin. She was able to dim the fluorescent white lights and allowed me to wear my headphone which did help a small amount.
Kyra basically moved into my room above the shop. Milo insisted he could do all the work of getting me around the house and the shop, but we knew he couldnât while maintaining the shop and looking after Elena. Elena tried her best to help by making me breakfast. She gathered pre-made versions of my safe breakfast food and carefully place them separately on a plate, with a glass of orange juice every morning. After the first week she realised Iâd be in a wheelchair and struggling to move around much for much longer than she thought, so she quickly gave up on that idea and began making me penguin drawings at school.
Iâd adapted to having Kyra around much quicker than I expected to. When I moved in at 17, it took me months to get used to the layout and the fact that I was alone, despite Camilo and Elena living in the house across the road. I adapted to Kyraâs presence within weeks.
After the second week weâd decided it was easier to share the bed rather than her sleeping on the couch, which had been the biggest change. I struggled with it the first few nights. I had a sleep routine that was already disrupted by the injuries, now I had to take another person into account. But she was so warm, and I felt so safe in her arms. Whenever I woke up from a nightmare about the crash, she grabbed me an iced tea and my headphones and would ramble about whatever interests she had recently developed or whatever was happening at training.
It was in the second month things took a more serious turn. Well serious for our relationship. I was sitting at the table chopping the vegetables for dinner while she begins cooking, when I took a minute to just look at her. The warm lighting softened her features, her quiet humming to whatever song was playing carried throughout the room, the smile that seemed to never leave her face sat perfectly on her lips as she listened to me ramble about the newly discovered yellow king penguin. She was so radiant and attentive, and she was never annoyed at me when I was overstimulated or wanted to infodump. She was seemingly unaffected by my rehab and most importantly unaffected by my autism. After a life full of negative interactions and losing people because of one thing I couldnât control, Iâd found a family and a partner who embraced me.
I didnât realise I was crying until she turned and asked me what was wrong.
âIâm just grateful.â
âFor what?â
âYou, Milo, Elena. I love you all so much.â I didnât realise Iâd said it really. I was just being candid, as I always was.
âYou love me?â
âYes.â There was no hesitation even as it dawned on me.
âWell, I love you too.â There is a split second between the end of her sentence and the meeting of our lips in a kiss.
âWill you be my girlfriend?â I ask as we pull away.
âWait- I thought- when you called me your girlfriend on the ambulance I kind of took that as you asking me to be your girlfriend.â She begins laughing.
âWhat? This whole time Iâve been nervous about actually asking you and you already thought I had?â I canât help but join her laugh.
âWeâre such fools.â She whispers, and we kiss again.
I'll always be a fool for her.
#woso x reader#woso fanfics#wsl#womens soccer#arsenal fcw#kyra cooney cross x reader#kyra cooney cross
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from the past, beyond the present, and into tomorrow. ksm. ( teaser )
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kim seungmin x fem!reader â following the last wishes of her beloved grandmother, y/n finds herself moving back to her family's hometown. deep into the countryside and miles away from the bustling noise of the city, the change was supposed to be a new experience. that was, if only the mayor's son didn't bring along years of unknown familiarity with him.
GENRE/S â drama, slight angst, slight fluff, just sentimental, soulmates au, multiple lifetimes, high school au, a slowburn âą teaser: 2.1k words (10k+ overall fic)
WARNING/S â y/n gets referred to with she/her pronouns, setting is heavily influenced by japanese environments (but still made vague enough for other preferences), main characters are aged eighteen, possibly more to be added upon release.
NOW PLAYING â tracing that dream by yoasobi
( âïž ) this is the product of seungmin covering one of my favorite songs ... now im gonna make him a shoujo anime love interest !!! and yes the teaser is long asf. i, too, am concerned about the total word count of this fic. (road to 20k wc i guess)
( đ ) STATUS: UNRELEASED âą TAGLIST IS OPEN !
2024 â starseungs on tumblr. do not steal, repost, or edit.
You had dreamt of a specific scene once when you were thirteen.
At least, you were the one who considered it a dream. It was something you had tried to bury in the depths of your mindâlocked away in a tiny chest placed in the furthest corner and behind closed doors. If it were someone else, you knew that they wouldâve already exhausted all means to figure out what the dream meant.
After all, it certainly wasnât every day that you got to dream of something that felt so vividly real to the point you couldâve sworn it was a memory.
But it wasnât. It could never be.
Why?
Because in no reality could an authentic memory be of a time that shouldnât even exist yet.
âI wonât ask you to congratulate me,â the vessel you were seeing the world through spoke. In the scenario being played out, you could feel yourself smile warmly. You could only guess why the positive action was contrasted by such a somber tone of speaking. âNever once have your eyes lied in front of mine.â
The sound of joyous laughter that surrounded the area almost felt too jarring to compare to the mood present between what was supposed to be you and another male. He sat completely still, unmoving amidst the dim evening despite your earlier comment. Flickers of embers from the sizable-looking campfire reflected in his eyes, telling of the fact that the absence of a response was not because of a lack of focus but rather his inner thoughts getting swallowed up by the burning flames.
His looks would range him older than eleven. Yet, you didnât seem phased by itânot even in the slightest. Perhaps this was something you should have expected. The voice that came out of you was notably not one of an eleven-year-old either. So you gave up on the matter.
Instead, you waited for an answer to what you had previously uttered. Even if it was just a simple hum that came out of his mouth.
He let the fire crackle a bit more.
âDoes it make me a bad man to say that I envy you?â
The breath that you didnât even know you were holding escaped your lips the second he spoke. âIâm afraid I donât quite understand what you mean,â was your reply.
The silence came back for a second. Surprisingly, it didnât seem as heavy as the one you two had just broken. You watched his movements, almost mesmerized, as he took his eyes off the fire. The concentration only faltered when his sight came up to meet yours. âYouâre off to go do greater things over in the big city,â he starts. âAnd yet, here I am, getting left behind in this quiet town. A place not a single soul even yearns forâwhere everyone starts off but never stays.â
It was odd. The way you felt your heart race at his words.
To be completely honest, you didnât think much of what he had just said. You didnât even know exactly what it meantâboth for you and for him. Yet, the sudden spike of adrenaline in your veins told a different story. It was making you feel breathless while also making you tear up.
âYou could always come with me.â
He shook his head. Did he just reject your offer? âItâs no use. My lifeâs responsibilities will still lie here. What would I even gain from leaving this place?â
Another beat. You could care less if it was of silence or your heart. In what seemed like a blink, the environment felt too overwhelming for you to function in. It was almost like you were sinking. Down deep to who knows where.
Though muddled, you tried your best to bring yourself back to the forefront by listening to the variety of other sounds outside the small bubble you two had created. Children running around screaming with laughter, adult men howling with amusement at whatever conversation they were in, and a female voice yelling to prepare the fireworks.
How fun. A celebration right next to a brewing storm. All under the same night sky.
âBut,â you forced the words out. âYou also have your own dreams.â His eyes softened at the mention. The way your heart shattered echoed a little too strongly throughout your body.
âThatâs why Iâm letting you go like this.â The young male smiled, making sure to let you know it was only directed at you. âSo that at least one of us gets to achieve them.â
Your lips quivered. âWhy do you speak as if Iâm never going to come back for you?â
Silence again. You were beginning to develop an intense dislike for them.
âThatâs just the way the world works,â was the response that came to soothe your growing anxiety. âIt doesnât revolve around a certain person. And it certainly doesnât revolve around me. Go and live the life you want without any regrets. When the time comes that youâve done everything youâve wished for in life, come and find me again.â
A shake of a head.
âI could always just stay.â
A weak chuckle.
âThen, neither of us will be able to grow.â
A clench of a hand.
âWhat if I take too long?â
A minute passes by. Youâve come to really hate these momentary pauses.
He stands up. âThere will be no such thing,â the young male assures you, moving closer only to stop at arm's length. You fought the urge to reach out and hold him. âEven if it takes multiple lifetimes, Iâll always be here. Waiting for you.â
âWhat if you forget about me?â
The world fell into one last hush. Your well-held tears finally started falling one-by-one, just like the first drops of rain. He sighs at your state, taking another step forward.
âI really donât think I ever will.â He cups your face gently to look at him. âThatâs why to you, who my heart will always choose in every lifetimeââ
A loud bang. You watched as the fireworks bloomed into the sky through his glistening eyes.
ââPlease live well until you come back to me.â
Hushed whispers filled the room.
You shouldâve expected this. No matter the place, all high schoolers were bound to be the same, either one way or another. If you really had to make sense of it, your best guess would be that it was simply human for them to act this way. Universal traits are what makes a species. Perhaps you wouldâve found it much more uncomfortable if the students in front of you didnât find your situation interesting. After all, the genuine interest seeping out of those youthful eyes did make the atmosphere a lot lighter. At the end of the day, you could never actually fault them.
Still, enduring the poor attempts of adolescents trying to keep their curiosity hidden for more than a tick of a clock was harder than you thought. A part of you so badly wanted to believe that it was because this whole ordeal was tiringâbothersome, even. Unluckily for you, your brain knew a little bit too much for its own good.
Next to the classroomâs front door, one of your female classmates drops a pen accidentally. You watched it roll down two seats away, only to stop underneath the chair of a guy who was animatedly discussing something with another that was to his right. The latter enthusiastically reciprocated the conversation; his seemingly dominant hand spinning a blue-colored pen while doing so. You balled your hands, only to release them not even a beat later. They felt slightly damp.
You were nervous.
âSettle down now, class!â The homeroom teacher, Mrs. Cheon, ordered. Like well disciplined soldiers, the students quickly ceased all sound. Their undivided attention made you swallow heavily. âStarting today, we have a new addition to our class. Letâs all listen to her introduction.â
Your eyes almost popped out of their sockets at her orderâonly barely holding back from painting shock all over your face. This was not the plan you were made aware of. You wanted to protest. Throw a tantrum like a little child at the way she had just thrown you into a den filled with lions with no choice but to fend for yourself. Back in the faculty room, she had clearly stated that she was the one who was going to introduce you to the class. What was the point of asking you all the standard information about yourself if she wasnât even going to use it?
Mrs. Cheon merely stood there, anticipating for you to start. Her neatly managed fingers were laced together behind her back, presenting the dark purple dress she was wearing in all of its glory. You kind of wished it was brighter; just so you could complain about her blinding you without seeming rude. Now you realized that you shouldnât have trusted her words in their literal sense. It was foolish of you to believe that all you had to do for your formal introduction was to stand there until you were settled.
You took a discrete, heavy breath.
âHello to you all. My name is Y/N,â you start off as cool as you could manage. âEighteen. I just moved here from the city, so I am still in the process of getting familiar with the environment. Please take care of me.â
If you could give yourself a pat on the back at that moment, you wouldâve. Unfortunately, you had yet to get a grasp on how things worked around here, so it was probably better not to do anything that would make you stand out more than you already did just by being new. And who even transfers schools two months into their last year of high school? Plus, with their stares so intently directed at you like they were studying a fascinating specimen, you couldnât lift a single finger anyway. So you settled for pursing your lips instead.
A male student with puffed cheeks from the second row raised a brow at you. You bit your cheek lightly. Great.
âIt seems like thatâs all for Y/Nâs introduction,â Mrs. Cheon says, clearing her throat. You internally glowered at the way she awkwardly moved on. You could only wonder how painful your introduction now seemed. âYouâll be seated next to Seungmin. Raise your hand, please.â She ordered.
To which not one soul followed.
If you had not enforced every single ounce of control you had, you were sure your jaw wouldâve dropped to the ground. This was already proving to be one of the worst moments of your life, and yet life seemed way too eager to make it even more unforgettable. Your eyes snapped to the figure sitting on the slot in the back row, right next to the windows.
Granted, you already knew who this âSeungminâ was. It was quite obvious, really. The only other desk free to use in this entire room was the one next to the guy you were currently burning a hole through with your gaze. He was staring out the window without a worry in the world, seemingly lost in his thoughts. His posture screamed relaxation, and anything more than that meant infusing into the wooden chair he was leaning back on.
While normally you would have found this guy relatable, right now you could just wish that he finally acknowledged Mrs. Cheonâs call so that you could now erase your presence for the rest of the day.
Luckily for you, it seemed like your homeroom teacher was also getting impatient.
âKim Seungmin!â
The male with the same name as the one just yelled out leisurely broke off his staring contest with that one cloud in the sky to give you two at the front a glance. It was then that you finally got a good look at him.
His black hair was cut short, brushed down into bangs, but not enough to cover a notable undercut. Despite his clean appearance doubled by the meticulously ironed uniform that hung on his figure, his face was grim in a way that showed great dislike for the situation. You wanted to scoff at the frown decorating his lips, sending everyone the clear message that he had just been bothered. Fighting off the urge to twitch an eye at the slight scrunch of his nose was proving to be the most difficult challenge of the day.
âOh?â He reacted monotonously before raising his hand as requested. That obviously meant he did hear Mrs. Cheon. âYeah, here.â
You grit your teeth, already feeling an overwhelming sense of annoyance radiating out of you. From what it looked like, he felt it tooâshifting his gaze from Mrs. Cheon to meet yours. Yet, your eyebrows furrowed as the feeling dissipated the moment your eyes locked.
Huh.
How come he seems awfully familiar?
FIC TAGLIST â STATUS: OPEN â ASK OR COMMENT đ«¶
@fairyki @hysgf @euncsace @comet-falls @starlostseungmin @ameliesaysshoo @hyunverse @wnbnny @xocandyy @minluvly @moon0fthenight @estellaluna @hanjsquokka @starlostastronaut @soobnny
#starseungs-basement#seungmin imagines#seungmin x reader#kim seungmin imagines#kim seungmin x reader#stray kids imagines#stray kids x reader#skz imagines#skz x reader#seungmin fluff#kim seungmin fluff#stray kids fluff#skz fluff#seungmin angst#kim seungmin angst#stray kids angst#skz angst#seungmin fanfic#kim seungmin fanfic#stray kids fanfic#skz fanfic#seungmin fanfiction#kim seungmin fanfiction#stray kids fanfiction#skz fanfiction#soulmate au#high school au#slowburn
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On a personal note...
This is a personal story, so feel free to scroll on past (if you're only here for the Jikookery I can respect that).
I'm posting this because it's connected to what Jimin and Jungkook (specifically Jimin) may or may not be doing with this album and their travel series "Are you sure", and by that I mean coming out publicly as queer and as lovers. If it sounds vague, it is, because I don't know what they're doing yet. I don't know how far Jimin is taking this or what direction he'll go. But if he is going to make his private life public, then my post is relevant even though my experience is a microscopic spec 0f what he will encounter.
I live in a conservative little town on the edge of a big city, we're almost the last stop on the metro train line. This place has 10 000 residents and a reputation for being a little on the rough side. It's not a bad place and the people are not bad people but they won't step aside if you pick a fight, lets put it that way.
There's one high school in our little town, and I am the school librarian. I also run the school's pride club and when I started it 5 years ago (that's when I joined this school) it kicked up a bit of a stink. The community had mixed feelings. I wasn't out as trans at that point, only as queer. The school principal supported the club but wanted me to keep it quiet (I didn't). She wanted me to be appeasing (I wasn't). And when we had challenges from homophobic students, she wanted me to 'let her handle it' ( I didn't).
I responded to bigotry with patience and kindness, modelling the behaviour I expected and having many many conversations about prejudice, the patriarchy, learned behaviour, fear of the unknown, and minding your own damn business....
When I came out as trans to the school community - changing my name and pronouns - I faced some real push back from both staff and students. Students were less openly hostile but sometimes the subtle attempts at bullying are worse. My line manager was really difficult about it. I was a hot topic of conversation. It wasn't a good time. But I stuck with it, partly because I couldn't go back and partly because the Pride Club students were so empowered by what I was doing. They thought I was really brave. I couldn't let them down.
It was a tough time for me personally. Every day was a struggle as I navigated my wavering sense of identity and tried to be true to myself. Most of my family and friends were okay with it but some were not. Some flipped back and forth, some thought I had lost my mind. I had to let a few people go from my life, including one of my closest friends. I've lost a few more since then. I've cried more in the past few years than I have in my whole life and I am pretty tough, so you gotta know - it was a lot.
Fast forward to now. The pride club is well established, homophobia still exists but it's less overt and it's no longer ignored, and we have staff who are active allies. It's definitely a success. Our students to have a safe place where they can be themselves, and slow change is coming to the culture of the school.
It has come at a personal cost though. Not a HUGE personal cost but enough for it to matter. I am recognised and known around town because, well, most people in small communities know each other. But more so because of my role in the school, and because I am the only out and vocal queer person on school staff (yes, there are other LGBTQIA+ staff but they keep it quiet, and I don't really blame them).
At school i still have to correct people on my pronouns on a daily basis, and occasionally a student will throw a comment my way but it's not often these days. I have to come out to all the new staff pretty much as soon as I first meet them otherwise it's awkward. It's just an everyday thing. It's not a big deal but it's tiring, and it's something cis/straight people don't ever have to think about.
What is tough, though, is sniping from the community at large every now and again. I have been targeted on community socials and I've had had some pretty brusque service from local shop owners and service personnel in local businesses. Sometimes I see kids from school at the shops and they point me out to their parents. I pretend it's because they're happy to see me (what the fuck else am I going to do - hide in the apple crate?) They may say a friendly hello... or they may following me through the aisles of the supermarket trying to menace me - yes, that has happened - I just have to wait and see.
I do have allies in the community too - like the gorgeous pharmacist who always gets my name and pronouns right and compliments me (on whatever he can think of) every time I collect my meds. There's a stern woman in the hardware store who makes a point of loudly correcting herself when she uses the wrong pronouns (often). I appreciate this, I really do, but honestly it would be great if she could be a little quieter.
I am not a celebrity by any means, just a small town school librarian. But wherever I go in my small town - to the doctor, the supermarket, the park, or the gym - there's a chance I'll encounter someone who knows my face. Sometimes that makes me nervous.
The point of this long and boring post is to give people who may not know what it's like, a bit of insight into the experience of a regular, everyday person who lives in a conservative place and who is both recognisable and queer. It can be exhausting, and from time to time I struggle with mental health issues. So I have no doubt that for people who are really well known, it would be much, much worse. They would be the subject of public debate on news sites and TV. They'd be tossed into arguments by politicians on both sides of the divide. They'd encounter hostility in person too, and that's really frightening.
So please remember that if the celebs you admire choose NOT to come out, it's because they've weighed up their choices and that's the safest option for them. Support them where they're at, so they can live their best life under the circumstances.
If they do come out, they'll probably need even more support. Please love them, defend them, celebrate them, and validate them. They need you more than you know.
And above all else, be a good human.
PS, no need to comment here, this is purely a PSA <3
#queer community#coming out#lgbtqia#pride month#it's okay if you're not ready#safe spaces#trans allies#queerness
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The Roommate Agreement | 2-The Chaos Theory.
Pairing(s)/TropesâEventual Steve Harrington X Reader, slow burn/friends to lovers.
SummaryâReader gets a taste of the chaos that comes with the boys of Apartment 406D, and they offer her the solution to her problems.
Warnings/ExtrasâStrong language, bad parents, bugs, drinking and smoking, brief bar fight and mild violence. Drunk people being dumb. Steve and Reader shamelessly flirting. Eddieâs his weirdo self (we love him though). MDNI, 18+! Let me know if I missed anything!
MASTERLIST | | PREVIOUS PART | | NEXT PART
â± ââââââ {âââ} ââââââ â°
The smell of bacon mixes with the faint drift of three separate colonges, wafting through the apartment. I sit up out of my brotherâs bed, feeling guilty that I took his bed and he slept on the couch. At the foot of the bed, a pair of fuzzy pink sweats and a matching sweater sit folded neatly. Theyâre clothes from my closet back at the Dorm, and I can tell by the meticulous fold that itâs my brotherâs doing. Iâm questioning his methods, wondering if heâs secretly been able to teleport this whole time, when a familiar feminine laugh echos down the hallway.
I quickly change and tie my hair up, practically sprinting down the hallway to the kitchen.
Daizy sits at the bar counter, coffee mug in hand, chatting it up with the boys. Steve cooks breakfast while Ben sits shoulder-to-shoulder with Daizy, working on his laptop. Eddie is in the living room, cleaning up beer cans and pizza boxes from after I went to bed last night.
âBug! How dare you not call me last night?!â Daizy perks up.
I shudder. âI thought we agreed to let that nickname die,â I complain. âHowâd you even find out I was here?â
âThat nickname dies with me. And I called her,â Ben says casually, not looking up from the screen.
I shove him a bit but he is unwavering. I take a seat next to him.
âBug, huh?â A sly smile cracks Steveâs features as he flips a sunny-side-up egg onto a plate, pushing it across the counter over to me. Our eyes meet and my face grows hot. I take the plate from him, staring down at it, and I wonder how he knew Iâll only eat my eggs sunny-side-up.
Maybe heâs a witch. Itâd explain why heâs so pretty.
âShe hates bugs, loathes them,â Daizy teases. âBeen that way since birth,â
Daizy and I are three months, eighteen days, four hours and fifty-three seconds apart. Our moms areâwereâbest friends since high school, all the way up until her mom passed away two years ago from breast cancer. It was terminal by the time they found it. It mustâve unlocked a part of Daizyâs brain I suppose was hidden all this time, because since her motherâs passing sheâs been to the doctor for âprecautionary checksâ every Monday, without fail. Sheâs obsessed with it, to the point she ceases to function right for the rest of the week if she misses her appointment. Her biggest fear used to be deep water, but I donât think it is anymore.
Daizy and my brother swear up and down that Iâve been scared of bugs since I could walk, but I swear I donât remember being afraid of them until I accidentally stomped on a fire-ant hill when I was 5. They were everywhere, in my hair and on my eyelashes. I could see them, red blobs with antennas and sixâdisgustingâlittle legs, clouding my vision. Iâd had itty-bitty bites that stung like hell for weeks all over my body, and my vendetta against ants specifically was forged during that time.
âHowâd you get my clothes?â I ask Daizy because, letâs be honest, it was most definitely her that pulled off the heist. Sheâs like some sort of criminal mastermind.
âGot your roommateâs car towed then snuck in while she was distracted,â she tells me casually, chewing on some bacon.
Ben and I donât flinch at Daizyâs usual temperament, but Steveâs eyebrows raise in a dumbfounded expression.
Eddie laughs from the living room. âI like her.â
âWhere are you gonna go? Obviously not back to the Dorms, placements over,â Daizy recalls how Iâd just barely cut it for getting placed with a roommate, because I didnât find out Iâd been accepted until a few weeks ago.
I shrug. âIâll get an apartment nearby. Cut school down to part time so I can work enough to afford it,â It sounds so easy in theory; better said than done.
âYou are not sacrificing school. No way,â Benâs voice is raised, agitated. We all turn to look at him. He rubs his temples. âI watched you spend most your life trying to get into a school like this. I canât let you put it on the back burner now. Academics first,â
âOkay Dad,â I scoff, but as I look up at him, I realize how much he really does resemble our father. Heâs got his nose and the way it flares when heâs upset, the same eyes that wrinkle in the corners because heâs always squinting in thought. Most of all, heâs got that same perpetual look on his face: disapproval, disappointment.
âWhat am I supposed to do, then?â
His resolve fumbles a bit. He peeks at Steve through his lashes, whom simply shrugs and vaguely gestures to Daizy and I. I furrow my brows as they exchange some sort of bizarre telepathic communication, until my brother speaks. âIâweâwill figure it out. For now Iâve rented a storage unit for your stuff. Pest controlâs gonna come by tomorrow and bomb it for bugs,â he reaches into the pocket of his blazer, pulling out a metal ring with three keys on it.
âMore moving, just how I wanted to spend my weekend,â Daizy half-heartedly jokes.
âShopâs closed today. Iâll help,â Eddie offers, joining us in the kitchen. He snags a strip of bacon off of Steveâs plate, earning him a mild-tempered grunt.
Ben gives Eddie a foreboding glare. âBehave yourself, Munson,â
He shrugs. âDonât I always?â He winks at me, and Iâm positive itâs mostly to piss off my brother.
âIâve gotta go to work,â Steve announces, sliding his plate to Eddie before moving to grab his coat from the rack by the door. I find myself wondering what someone like him does for work. I wrack my brain, then wrack and wrack some more. Then I question why I even care so much.
âHey, Iâll be down after work for a drink. I need to talk to you about something,â
They make eye contact and, there they go with that wordless conversation. It freaks me out but I try to disregard it, as itâs none of my business. Though I am morbidly curious.
Ben also throws on his coat and grabs his briefcase. I know he works for a local law firm as a pre-law intern. A cushy job with across the board benefits, tuition assistance and a generous salary. Some call it luck but I see it for what it is; that he worked his ass off for that job. I remember when heâd call me every night after his interview, anxiously awaiting their response. That was two years ago, and now heâs only a year away from taking the bar and becoming a practicing lawyer.
âEdward, listen to me,â Ben instructs, pointing at Eddie as he inhales his breakfast. He makes a Hmph? Noise, half paying attention. âWear plastic around your feet. Donât bring any of those damn things into the apartment.â
âYes boss.â Eddie rolls his eyes, saluting him. I snort and Daizy giggles.
I shake my head. Benâs the same old big brother I remember with the soul of an old man, except now heâs seemingly keeping this apartment full of 20-something boys from falling apart. Itâs endearing but also makes my chest pang with resentment. Heâs replaced taking care of his real family in exchange for these college students. Not that I hold any of it against them. How would they know?
The door closes behind Ben and Steve, plunging the room into silence with a deafening click.
â± ââââââ {âââ} ââââââ â°
My brother must believe I own much more things than I actually do.
The massive storage unit sits mostly empty, an echo bouncing off its metal walls. I laid my books and clothes out on the concrete floor, just in case something decided to crawl into the crevices to hide. The thought makes me shudder and tense.
Eddie made crude joke about âfinally seeing a girlâs underwearâ, and while Iâd typically be embarrassed, all I could do was laugh. His presence is a different level of infectious, like itâs impossible to be upset around him.
Luckily, Hailey was nowhere to be found while we were at the Dormitory. Class hasnât started yet, so Iâm left to assume sheâs out looking for her next murder victim. Once the last box has been torn apart and the unit is locked down tight, Eddie drives us in his rickety van up to the University Housing office.
âDo you go to school here?â Daizy asks from the back seat.
Eddie laughs. âWhat, me? Hell no. I go to the DePaul across town,â
âThe School of Music?â I inquire.
âThe one and only,â he chortles.
âGonna be a rockstar someday or what?â I joke.
âThatâs the dream. Donât worry, Iâll still write to you when Iâm famous,â He jokes, parking in front of the administration building.
I stare at the front doors, the thought of crossing them daunting. Daizy reaches for me, squeezing my shoulder. âYouâve got this,â she tells me silently, and I nod, unbuckling my frayed seatbelt and hopping out of the van.
Thereâs a singular woman at the desk, round face screwed up with annoyance. She doesnât look up from her computer, and I cough awkwardly in hopes of getting her attention. She continues to type, unamused.
âUh, hello?â It comes out ruder than I intend, and I cringe. She looks up at me through hooded, tired eyes. âI signed my housing contract a couple days ago but I need to move out. How do I go about doing that?â
She sighs loudly, rolling backward to grab forms off the desk behind her. She slaps the stack of papers in front of me. âYouâll need to provide ample reasoning for the contract termination. After we review we will determine how much of the semester you are financially liable for.â
âFinancially liable? I donât even live there,â I complain.
âItâs just like renting, sweetheart. You sign the contract, you pay the bill. Youâve got a week to bring all of these back.â She calls me sweetheart in that condescending, professional tone that makes my blood boil. I snatch the papers off the desk, forcing myself to be the bigger person and not glare at her. She is unbothered, turning back to her computer.
I storm back to the van with a scowl on my face and annoyance clouding my judgement.
âI take it that didnât go well,â Daizy tests.
I groan, reaching behind me to show her the papers. She takes the stack from me. âWhat the fuck is this?â
âBullshit, is what it is,â I tell her. Eddie extends his hand out to Daizy and she hands over the paperwork.
He scans it thoughtfully. âDonât sign these. Talk to Benny about it first,â he tells me.
âI donât need his help.â I scowl stubbornly, taking the papers back. Iâve learned my lesson in relying on people, and my brother is no exception to that. Besides, heâs helped me out enough. Daizy too.
Eddie opens his mouth to say something but his jaw snaps shut, an unreadable expression on his face. He silently puts the car in reverse, pulling out of the parking space.
â± ââââââ {âââ} ââââââ â°
I scroll through job sites on my laptop, mass applying to anything and everything. I stopped reading the job descriptions and qualifications about thirteen applications ago. Something will stick, Iâm sure of it.
Back home, I worked as a barista right out of high school. I had impulsively moved in with my boyfriend at the time a week after graduation, and I needed a job to pay the bills stat. The local coffee shop graciously hired me. The job stuck, the boyfriend did not. Good riddance.
But now Iâm jobless and boyfriendless, the latter of which doesnât really bother me.
I know Benâs right, even if Iâll never admit it aloud. I spent two grueling years applying to UChicago; poured my heart out into admissions essays, paid insane application fees. And forâwhat? To give up now? Itâs not an option.
Eddie sits across the room on a beanbag chair, plucking at his electric guitar, occasionally adjusting the amp.
âYouâre much nicer than your brother, yâkow,â Eddie breaks the silence so suddenly itâs startling.
I peek up from the screen. Heâs looking at me with adorning eyes, curiosity playing on his lashes.
âThank you?â
âWhyâs that?â
âWhyâs what?â
He leans back âWhy are you so much nicer than Benny?â
I shrug, closing my laptop. âHe took the brunt of the force from our parents. He endured eighteen years of pure torture. I wasnât really affected until I was sixteen, when he moved out,â I hug my laptop close to my chest. âI understood, then. Why he is the way he is. Just doing the best with what was given to him. I tried to be there for him, but itâs hard when youâve got no idea what to do,â
The silence between us is palpable. Finally, he speaks. âWell, thank God for you then. He wouldâve turned out much worse if you werenât there to keep him straight.â
I never thought of it that way, I want to tell him, but the whole conversationâs got me so uncomfortable that I let it die instead. Despite the topic, and his obvious flirting throughout the day, Iâm not unsettled by my alone time with Eddie. Heâs got a charm to him, and I gravitate towards him in a platonic way. I imagine us as good friends, and Iâm sure we wouldâve been in any other circumstance. But heâs my brotherâs roommate, not my friend, and I try to keep that in mind.
He claps his hands and stands abruptly. âWell, Sweetheart. I think youâve had enough depression for the week. Time for some fun,â he reaches out to me, wiggling his fingers decorated in bulky silver rings.
âDonât call me that,â I complain but take his hand, standing up with a grunt.
âGet dressed,â he instructs, ignoring me.
âWith what clothes, exactly?â I gesture to my pajamas and beaten up sneakers Iâd worn the entire day, my clothing still stuck in a storage unit downtown.
He thinks for a minute, then his eyes light up. He dashes down the hall, into his bedroomâthe second door on the rightâand comes out a couple minutes later with clothes thrown over his forearm.
âHere, try this on,â he extends his arm, a little black dress and hanging around it.
I look up at him. âWhy do you have womenâs clothes?â
âWould you believe me if I told you theyâre my sisterâs?â
âNo.â
âThen you donât wanna know.â
âYouâre foul,â I giggle. âIâm not wearing that!â
âAlright, new plan then,â he tosses the dress onto the couch before digging into the pocket of his ripped jeans. Retrieving his beaten cellphone that clings to life, he holds it to his ear.
âWho are youââ he cuts me off with a raised pointer finger in a âone minuteâ gesture. I roll my eyes.
âDaizy. Yeah Itâs Eddie,â my heart drops. âHey listen. Iâve got a situation. No, sheâs fine⊠but uh, we need a dress. Preferably a short one,â he says the last part as he glances at me, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.
I bury my face in my hands to hide my embarrassment.
âYup. Bring it all. Youâre coming with us. See you in a bit. Buh-bye.â he hangs up, shoving the decimated phone back into his pocket.
âWhy do you have Daizyâs number?â I cross my arms over my chest.
âWhy do you ask so many questions?â He retorts. âTake a shower. Iâm sure Benny wouldnât mind you using his. Unless, of course, youâd like to share,â
I twist my face and lightly shove his shoulder. âGross.â
He energetically hops off back to his bedroom, his exclamation echoing down the hall, âGet ready!â
â± ââââââ {âââ} ââââââ â°
The Hub is a temperate college bar tucked into the corner of a strip of small businesses with apartments above them. The bouncer lets us skip the line and doesnât bother to check our IDs. He tells Eddie to enjoy himself but to watch out for the owner Gary. Whatever that means. Thereâs two pool tables on the back end and flat screen TVs sit on every wall, each streaming a different sport. The hardwood floorâs seen better days, the roughest part being around the bar at the center of the room. Itâs a loud Friday night: music blasts and drunk people shout over each other. A group of guys badly sing a karaoke cover of âMy Girlâ.
Daizy and I walk hand-in-hand. I tug her along, following Eddie. The only way I donât lose him in the crowd is to follow that giant head of hair he has, bobbing in and out of the masses. Finally, we reach the bar, and Eddie leaps onto someone wearing a long coat, wrapping his arms around their shoulders.
Ben jumps, startled, turning to look at us. His angry expression melts instantly and he sighs. âJesus, you scared me. Whatâre you guys doing here?â He glances at Daizy and I, dresses short and low cut, heels dangerously tall and enough hairspray in our hair to suffocate someone. He rubs his temples. âWhatâre you wearing?â
Grumpy old man, I tease him in my head.
From behind the bar, Steve sets a beer in front of Ben. âEddie, you know youâre banned fromâŠâ the words die on his lips as I step from behind Eddie. He triesâand failsânot to make it obvious that he looks me up and down. âUh, hi,â he breathes. He looks so handsome, his hair combed back with a few stray strands tickling his forehead, dressed in blue jeans and a t shirt that hugs his chest, a bar towel flung over his shoulder.
My whole body sets on fire. I clamber up, feeling like the wind was knocked out of my lungs. What is happening to me? âHi,â itâs a meek, pitiful nose, but he flashes me that award-winning grin anyways.
Eddie seems amused, cackling with the likeness of a hyena. Ben is obviously agitated. He grabs his beer off the bar, standing to catch Daizyâs wrist in his hands. He tugs her away and she gives me a look I can only describe as confusion and excitement mixed together.
âJust a PBR Stevie, then you can go back to staring at the pretty girl,â Eddie teases, leaning on the counter.
Steve peels his eyes off of mine to glare at him. âYouâre a pain in the ass,â he complains, reaching under the counter and retrieving a can. He cracks it open, cheap beer splattering them. âIf Gary asks, Joey served you. He doesnât know youâve been 86âd.â
âRequest beers from Joey. Got it.â He makes a mental note, cheers-ing us before disappearing into the crowd as well.
I watch Eddie leave and when I look back at Steve, he's already looking at me, propped against the bar. A surge of bravery rattles through my chest and I sit in front of him. The space between us is minuscule now, the scent of his cologne leaving an intoxicating haze in our shared air.
He takes a deep breath, chest swelling. "What can I get you?"
I shrug. "Didn't bring my ID. I think it's still in the storage unit being debugged," I say with a bitter laugh.
"Don't worry about it," he chuckles, filling a glass with ice. "December 14, 1995. 12:14 AM," he recalls, pointing a finger at me.
My heart drops into my stomach. "How do you..?" I can't even finish my sentence. Just my luck, the beautiful one's a stalker.
He chuckles. "He talks about the day you were born like it was the best day of his life," he nods behind me and I spin on the stool. Ben is flirting with Daizy, carefully brushing her curls off her shoulder. I compress my grin into a tight smile, looking back at Steve.
âTequila Sunrise. Make it a double, please,â
âHuh. I struck you as a vodka girl. House fine?â He tests, shaking the blue bottle of house tequila in his hand. I nod, infatuated as I watch him move.
Get it together.
He slides the drink across the bar, shit eating grin on is face. âTell me; does tequila make you mean or melt your clothes off? Iâm cool with either, just wanna be prepared,â
Is he⊠flirting with me?
I snort and cover the lower half of my face with my hand. âOh, God. Does that usually work on girls?â
His smile is so bright. Even under the dim lighting and tacky disco lights from the karaoke machine, I can see the light in his chocolate eyes. He props himself up against the back bar, muscles tensing as he looks down at me. Suddenly all the stories Benâs told me of his Freshman year Dorm roommate turning out to be his best friend that saved him from himself make total sense. Steveâs comforting in a familiar way, like the second youâve met him you feel like youâve known him for years.
âIs it working?â He asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I havenât been flirted with since high school and, in all honesty, Iâm kind of freaking out. Made worse by the fact this is my brotherâs best friend and roommate, I decide I need to tread lightly despite what the burn between my legs and the pounding in my chest begs.
âIs it?â I tease.
His eyebrows raise and he lets out a breathy laugh, shaking his head. âYou look great tonight, by the way,â he compliments.
I sip my drink, the burn of cheap liquor on my tongue. âThanks. It was Eddieâs idea,â I admit. Why would I say that? I internally cringe.
âSounds like himâŠâ
âHey,â I lean forward, not noticing the way my boobs spill out of the top of this dress. Steveâs face twists a bit and he looks anywhere but me. âDoes Eddie have a sister?â
âNo?â Steve replies, bewildered.
âSon of a bitch,â I whisper. I knew it. Disgusting.
âWhy do youâŠâ he trails off, looking over my shoulder, a concerned look on his face. I spin around again, groaning when I see Eddie going back and forth with a burly man. Round beer belly and a beard to his chest, the guyâs got a hundred pounds on Eddie easily. âAh, shit.â I hear Steve exasperate behind me.
Without thinking I stand up. Steve calls my name but I ignore him. The men begin shoving each other. I spot Daizy and Ben dancing in the crowd, pacing towards them as fast as these heels will allow me. I whistle and Daizyâs head snaps in my direction. I point frantically at Eddie and her face falls. Once Iâve confirmed theyâre following me, I dash to Eddie and the man.
âMaybe you shouldnât be up on random girls at the bar, jackass!â The man shouts, shoving Eddie hard. Thereâs a little redhead in a red skirt and tube top watching the two men argue, arms awkwardly folded across her chest. Oh boy. Whatâve you gotten yourself into now, Eddie?
Eddie raises his arms, palms forward in surrender. âMy bad Lumberjack John, I'll back off,"
âYou son of aââ he raises his fist.
âHey!â I pull Eddie back a bit but shield my body with his in case the man decides to swing. Iâm not getting punched for Eddieâs endeavors, thatâs for sure. âIâm so sorry about my friend here, heâs a little,â I pretend to shield my mouth from Eddieâs view, breathing the words stupid to the man. âHe gets confused easily. Itâs my fault, I shouldâve been watching him closer,â
âIâm notââ Eddie starts.
âEddie!â I cut him off just as Ben makes it to us. "Stop talking," I instruct sternly.
Ben pulls Eddie back with force, shoving him behind us.
âLetâs all calm down okay?â Ben attempts to defuse.
"Your buddy's got no business talkin' to my nineteen-year-old daughter. What're you, thirty?" the man spits.
"Daughter?! Nineteen?!" Eddie turns green, and I think he might vomit. He doesn't bother to correct the man and tell him he's actually 23.
You've done it now, idiot.
"How'd you even get in here?" I snap, looking from her to her father. His face is pale. "Did you sneak your teenage daughter into a bar?!"
Completely unprovoked--or maybe my question caused it, not that we're pointing fingers here-- the man lunges for Ben, landing a solid right hook to his jaw. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Steve leap over the bar and begin a dash towards us.
The daughter leaps towards me, punching me square in the eye.
Now if you've never been knocked straight in the eye socket, the feeling is incomprehensible until it's happened to you. A pain so intense it makes you sick. It knocks me to the floor, the air sucked out of my lungs like a deflated Whoopee Cushion.
The Hub doesn't take long to devolve into utter chaos, food flying and punches thrown. Strangers fighting just because someone else started it. I've never been in a bar brawl until now. I know it's loud but I can barely hear it, my ears ringing as I lay feeling dead on the floor.
My head is killing me.
A man in white scoops me up off the floor.
An Angel. Goddammit, I'm dead. Always knew I'd die in a stupid way.
"You're alright, Sunny. I got you." Steve's voice is deep and hushed, his lips practically pressed into my hair as he whispers only for me to hear.
Funny. I don't remember him wearing white.
My ears still ring, so I think he says Honey instead of Sunny, and it makes me laugh because I imagine I'm the opposite of something sweet. Disappointing, like when you bite into a chocolate chip cookie and it's actually oatmeal raisin.
He must wonder why I'm laughing. If I don't die, then I'll have to let him in on the joke.
The air is cold and dark. We're outside. I'm loaded up into a car I don't recognize, but it smells like a mix of Steve's cologne and aged leather. Steve hands the keys to Daizy. I know it's her because, despite my blurry vision, I can still make out her sequin dress.
I focus really hard on staying awake, recalling that when at risk of a concussion, to not fall asleep.
Do not fall asleep.
â± ââââââ {âââ} ââââââ â°
I lay my head on Daizy's lap as she presses a sack of frozen peas on my swollen eye. The expired painkillers she'd dug out of Ben's medicine cabinet do very little to soothe the sharp pain in my skull.
Trying desperately to think of anything but the fiasco at the bar, I fail miserably. I can only imagine what kind of crap Steve's got to deal with because of us. Ben tells me that Steveâs actually the manager at the Hub, and that this isnât the first time Eddieâs gotten into trouble there. Itâs a bad look for Steve, made worse by Ben and Iâs involvement.
Eddie sits in the beanbag chair picking at his nails anxiously. Ben holds a bag of frozen broccoli to his jaw, glaring at Eddie from the couch by my feet.
"You fuckin' idiot," Ben snipes.
Eddie surrenders. "I didn't know she was nineteen!"
"You called him a Lumberjack, Ed!"
The door opens and shuts quickly. I sit up too fast and my head swirls. Daizy holds my head--which feels far too large for my neck--in her hands.
Steve tosses his jacket on the coat rack. He stares at us, hands on his hips. "Well, I fired the doorman. Thank you, Eddie," he says bitterly.
Granted, the bouncer should've never let a teenager slip into the Hub, but I still feel guilty.
Steve joins us in the living room, leaning over the sofa to rough up Ben's hair. "How's your face?"
"Feels like I just got punched," Ben groans.
Steve's eyes shift to me. He leans in a bit, gently taking the peas out of Daizy's hand and lifting them off my eye. He grimaces. "Nasty shiner, Sunny. Youâre trouble, yâknow that? It follows you,â
Sunny. Not Honey. I still don't get it.
His closeness makes me nervous. I try to think of something to say to ease the tension, pressing the frozen vegetable to my skin, making it tingle. âDeterministic Chaos Theory,â I mumble sleepily.
âTheâWhat now?â Eddie wonders aloud.
âSmall changes can be exponentially amplified, causing large and unpredictable consequences,â I define, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. âAn environment can be rewritten by what is essentially Butterfly Effect. Learned about it in my pre-reqs.â
âCouldâve just said Butterfly Effect,â Ben complains. âYou just wanted to sound smart.â
I kick him lightly. He flinches and chuckles.
"How are you feeling?" Daizy asks.
I swallow. "Pissed. I didn't get to finish my drink,"
Everyone shares a laugh at that.
"I'll make you plenty more while you stay here." the words come out of Steve's mouth so casually that I assume I didn't hear him right. My eyes bulge out of my head as I look around. Eddie gives me a massive smile, one of many Iâve gotten form him today, clapping his hands together. My eyes fall on my brother.
He shrugs. "We've got Jesseâs old room. It's yours, if you want it." Jesse must be the fourth guy that used to live here, his unoccupied bedroom at the end of the hall.
My jaw hits the floor, a prickling pain searing under my skin. The idea sound preposterous at first, three boys and a girl in one old apartment, but then I realize Iâm in no position to decline and theyâre doing me a favor. âAre you guys serious?â
âAs a heart attack, Sweetheart,â Eddie jests. Steve plays with his hair and nods giddily.
Ben says âdonât call her thatâ just as I say âdonât call me thatâ, prompting us to look at each other.
âWeâre not letting you go back to the Dorms or letting you drop classes. Besides, we need someone to pay Jesseâs rent if we wanna keep living here,â Ben lightens the mood with a joke but I can tell heâs dead serious by the look in his eyes.
I crane my neck to look back at Daizy. She smiles big, nodding. You should do it, I swear I can hear her voice in my head.
Everyoneâs eyes are on me. It makes me uncomfortable and I squirm, mulling over my answer. This feels a lot like being reliant on others, which is something I refuse to do. Not that Iâve got much of a choice, the alternatives far worse than the option in front of me. Whatâs the worst that could happen? I purse my lips together and nod. âFuck it. Letâs do it.â
âYou heard her boys!â Eddie stands up, leaping over the coffee table and pouncing on Steve. âThereâs a lady in Apartment 406D!â He wraps his arms around Steveâs shoulders, attempting to pull him onto the ground. Ben scolds them both. âBetter knock it off before you break somethingâ, or something like that. Iâm not paying attention, just watching them wrestle like twelve year olds in the dim lamplight.
As we sit there in our natural element, I realize this is what my life is like now for the foreseeable future. Itâll be tough for sure. Iâve never lived with a man I wasnât related to, let alone this many at once. Iâm outnumbered, predicting that Iâll be begging Daizy to come up to Chicago to give me a reprieve from all the boy in this house.
Despite my reservations, I smile at the trio as they argue about something unbeknownst to me.
There are far worse ways to spend my days.
â± ââââââ {âââ} ââââââ â°
**I edited this intoxicated, pls let me know if I missed anything**
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#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#female reader#stranger things#friends to lovers#slow burn#x reader#eddie munson
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hey there! i donât mean this in bad faith at all, and iâm not trying to use a term thatâs a fascist dogwhistle. i promise iâm just confusedđ
so iâm not a guy, nor have i ever been perceived as one, but in one of your recent posts, you said that men canât experience oppression solely based on the fact that theyâre men. which was kind of confusing to me â i donât think youâre wrong, i think itâs me but i donât know how to get to how you see it like that.
because in my experience, men can experience oppression because theyâre men, although i donât know if iâm saying that right or conflating the meanings of certain terms. iâm probably wrong, and would just love some clarification?
for example, my brother and i were always held to different standards growing up â it was expected of me to always cry and be emotional, and i was a âstone cold bitchâ if that wasnât the case, but if my brother wanted to show negative emotions like sadness he was treated like there was something wrong with him too. and i know it wasnât my brother â i spend a lot of time working with my high schoolâs diversity team, and in a lot of the events we organise, guys talk about how they feel enormous pressure to be angry and never sad, and to have stereotypically masculine interests and never deviate from that norm.
i also know men whoâve struggled to get jobs such as teaching as those are viewed as âfemaleâ jobs and itâs a common view that men who want those jobs are âonly in it to be around kidsâ. iâve heard many women around me perpetuate sentiments like that, so i know theyâre not making it up, even if it isnât equal to the systematic oppression women face in almost every aspect of their careers.
iâm not providing these examples to prove you wrong, since i do think youâre right. iâm hoping that a window into the way iâve always thought might help you clarify this in a way that can help me to change my mind, since i just think iâm lacking some clarity or context here. i think iâm conflating abuse and stereotypes with oppression, but iâm really not sure. any advice would be really appreciated!
iâm so sorry if this comes off badly, i donât mean it that way. iâm just trying to learn, i promise iâm not trying to promote the kind of hate and close mindedness youâve been seeing in your inbox as of late.
Hi! As always, I do not mind answering genuine questions!
The things you're talking about growing up and seeing boys around you pressured to present only certain emotions, that's part of the patriarchy!
Certain emotions are supposed to be "feminine" and thus boys shouldn't show them, while girls are often always considered "emotional" in some fashion. That's not oppression based on those boys being men that you're talking about.
It's the backlash that the patriarchy, and by addition trans/misogyny has on men. It's boys being pressured not to show certain emotions because those emotions are "feminine" and they're supposed to associate feminimity with weakness and shit.
What you're talking about there is also trans/misogyny!
The idea that men who do things perceived as feminine are predators, the idea that specific jobs are "female" jobs [while even in those specific female jobs, men are generally paid better and find it easier to get into those jobs than women trying to get into traditionally "male" jobs"]
[Though obviously this varies based on race and whether they're trans, etc, etc.]
To be a little more clear, all of the things you're talking about don't primarily affect cis men/boys. They fuck up transfems, because it's trans/misogyny.
You're right! It's not systemic oppression.
You might wonder if it's social oppression, which is also a no. Social oppression would require a historical/systemic oppression behind it. But that doesn't exist in this case.
What it is is the common issue oppressors run into. While they benefit greatly from oppression, there is also backlash they face from their own systems of oppression.
Like white people who fall into suicide cults trying to work towards white supremacy, or TERFs who fall into groups where they slowly pick each other off as they discover they're not all exactly the same and wind up accusing each other of not being "real" women, systems of bigotry simply do not work out perfectly even for the oppressors.
They never do.
To create the patriarchy, you must establish trans/misogyny, you must establish intersexism and you must push people to conform to those ideals, even if they hurt your own.
It's similar to how white supremacy can harm white people, despite white people obviously not being oppressed racially. The backlash of oppression hits even the oppressors sometimes.
Suppression, as a term, would honestly work far better to describe what you're talking about.
So yes, it's stereotyping, yes it's abusive to tell your children not to show/feel their emotions but it's not oppression based on these guys in your life being men! It's part of how trans/misogyny, transphobia and intersexism are enforced.
I understand exactly where you're coming from! It doesn't sound bad and I genuinely don't mind answering questions! Especially since you've got some good ones!
I'm not sure if I rambled too much to explain this properly but I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions and/or need me to clarify anything here. <33
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Fighting off severely suffocating boredom at work so here are some haikyuu headcanons and shit for some of my favourite characters and ships with no particular theme
Asahi and Daichi do a lot of very casual bets or gambling with each other, and Daichi almost always wins. And if he doesnât win, heâs nonchalant enough about it or is able to spin it so that Asahi doesnât even really process it as a genuine win. Asahi is constantly looking for a chance to âbeatâ him but the harder he tries the more it seems Daichi keeps winning.Â
I think, and Iâm not afraid to say it, I think Tanaka can sing. Even if he has no interest in it and doesnât even know this himself.Â
A list of characters I think can sing beyond well, like, just, stupidly well: Tsukki, Ushijima, Oikawa, Semi (obviously), Fukunaga, Asahi, Kita
A list of characters I think canât sing quite as well but have a lot more fun: Suga, Daichi, Kuroo, Yamaguchi, Matsukawa, Tendou, Atsumu,Â
A list of characters I think canât sing at all, and have the most fun: Bokuto, Futakuchi, Noya, Hanamaki, Hinata, Tora
Tendou cannot swim. I actually hold this one right up there beside Ushijima having a bee allergy in that youâre safe to assume itâs true in all my fics unless proven otherwise. Tendou canât swim, Ushijima can be killed by bees. Perfect.Â
Iwaizumi has an anger response to his own jealousy because he hates that heâs a jealous person. He spends so much time trying to verbally tell people like âno jealousy is bad, trust in a relationship is important and being possessive isnât a good thing,â and then heâll turn around and see a guy just like, handing Oikawa something he dropped and will immediately cycle through: âoh, he needs to take ten steps back right the fuck now before I kill him - goDDAMNIT HAJIME THATâS NOT NORMAL-â
On the topic of jealousy for some of my favourite shipsâŠÂ
A list of characters I think do experience a heightened degree of jealousy: Iwaizumi, Tendou, Noya (specifically when heâs not in a relationship and doesnât know if the other person Asahi likes him), Aone (but he just gets sad about it and doesnât do anything), Tora
A list of characters I think experience a totally normal amount of jealousy: Suga, Oikawa, Bokuto + Akaashi both, though Akaashi hides it better, Kenma (but mostly for the best-friendship stuff with Kuroo heâs not worried about him as a boyfriend. He can get another boyfriend. Heâs not sure if he can find another person who knows every food order he has and doesnât make him talk to waiters)
A list of character who really think their boyfriends should experience more jealousy and be a little more concerned about the fact that they could, like, totally be getting hit on right now: Suga, Tendou
A list of characters who really donât understand why theyâre getting yelled at for trusting their partners and feeling safe in a relationship theyâve worked hard to curate healthy communication in: Daichi, Ushijima
Sugaâs first kiss was with Daichi but about a year before that he had lied to look cool and said heâd kissed one of the basketball girls and itâs been fifteen years of a relationship now and Suga hasnât had the guts to start unraveling this very minor detail and just continues to tell the story of this fake first kiss even to groups of people who werenât involved in the initial lie and donât know Daichi.Â
Iwaizumi regularly donates blood, and he got the other Seijoh 3rd years doing it, and then it spread and itâs like a weird group activity but when they convinced Kindaichi and Kunimi to come along for the first time Kindaichi discovered he has a phobia of needles and then Kunimi fainted after his blood was drawn and he tried to stand up.Â
Tendou once tried to give himself scurvy just for the challenge of trying to avoid vitamin C. He only failed because he got bored and stopped caring.Â
Oikawa kept a journal all throughout middle and high school, and to be little shits, Matsukawa and Hanamaki stole it to find either blackmail material or just something to make fun of him for, but what they actually found was a really genuine journal filled with a lot of really normal but affectionate thoughts like âWow the team is so good, hereâs all the reasons why, I really think these guys can take us to nationals, I hope my own ego doesnât stop us from winningâ and a series of long, thoughtful insights about his day and his friends and his future plans and goals and there were technically things in there they could gossip about (like confirmation on a few pages regarding his crush and/or relationship status with Iwaizumi) but overall they just felt really bad about it so they never told anyone theyâd opened it.Â
I know everyone really loves filipino Iwa, but hear me out: Indian Iwa. i have more thoughts on this. maybe for another post.
Atsumu once spiked a serve into Kitaâs face so hard his nose started bleeding and he had to sit out the rest of practice because he couldnât get it to stop. Kita kept insisting it was fine but the bruise on his face the next day made Atsumu want to resign from the school entirely.Â
Daichi is the only Karasuno third year to hold a job before graduation.
Kita has a really low pain tolerance but a really high level of âmind-of-matterâ ability.Â
Daichi has a really high pain tolerance.
Tsukishima also has a really high pain tolerance.Â
Tendou has a very low pain tolerance but heâs a masochist so itâs okay.
Oikawa has a higher pain tolerance than Iwaizumi, and this is set directly below âheightâ on the âthings I hate about Oikawaâ list Iwa keeps
Michimiya probably would chat with the boys more but she keeps coming to their gym and seeing things like Noya throwing Asahi around, Kageyama throwing Hinata around, Daichi screaming heâs going to ban them all from the club, Tanaka is never wearing a shirt, and Yachi is always near tears and every single time she just decides to not bother.
Anyway idk i guess thatâs all. Part two? Idk you tell me.Â
#only tagging characters or shit i think i referenced the most#haikyuu ships#haikyuu headcanons#daisuga#iwaoi#sawamura daichi#oikawa tooru#iwaizumi hajime#tendou satori
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Putting aside all of the jokes and technicalities and suchâŠdo you think Marinette is a stalker?
Buckle up folks, this is gonna be a long one.
Personal Bias
When I was 14-years-old, a "friend" of mine got a crush on me and I made it clear that I wasn't interested. He then proceeded to follow me around school, often blocking my path so I couldn't go anywhere without talking to him. He knew I was uncomfortable with this, but refused to stop until I got school authorities involved. By the time it was all over, he basically had a school-imposed restraining order where he wasn't allowed to go near me unless he wanted detention.
When I was 16, another "friend" was so upset that I was dating someone who wasn't him that he figured out how to get into my school email and, through that, one of my socials. He proceeded to try to break me and my boyfriend up. He almost succeeded.
When a male friend of mine was around 16, he turned down a girl who had a crush on him. She and her friends proceeded to harass him on a consistent basis because she knew his schedule and used it to trap him in certain spots like when he was waiting for the bus. They wouldn't stop no matter what he did or said. It only stopped when school officials got involved.
When my cousin was in high school, a boy started following her home every day. It got so bad that the cops were called, but they refused to do anything because he wasn't "threatening enough." Her family had to move and switch what school she went to in order to get away from him.
As you may know, I have seen Miraculous. So has my male friend. So has my cousin. We were all some level of fan at one point or another and have talked about the show critically together. Guess who didn't phase any of us?
Marinette.
Stalking 101
Definition One
Stalking is pattern of behavior directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for the personâs safety or the safety of others; or suffer substantial emotional distress. (Source)
Definition Two
âStalking is a pattern of repeated and unwanted attention, harassment, contact, or any other course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear,â according to the Department of Justice. Similar to crimes of sexual violence, stalking is about power and control.
Stalking laws and definitions differ from state to state. Stalking behavior can take many forms including:
Making threats against someone, or that person's family or friends
Non-consensual communication, such as repeated phone calls, emails, text messages, and unwanted gifts
Repeated physical or visual closeness, like waiting for someone to arrive at certain locations, following someone, or watching someone from a distance
Any other behavior used to contact, harass, track, or threaten someone
(Source)
Marinette Overview
When I say that Marinette isn't a stalker, this isn't me blindly defending my favorite character*. It's me considering her against the real-life stalkers I have actually dealt with as well as professional discussion on what stalking is and why it happens. When I look at those and then look at Marinette, she just doesn't fit the label.
"Stalker" is not a synonym for "creep." It's a term for specific patterns and types of behavior. When people use the term "stalker" for her, it never seems to come from some deep nuanced argument about her overall behavior. It comes from a handful of scenes where the writers absolutely take her too far. Those scenes understandably creep some viewers out. If those viewers just called her "creepy," then I wouldn't argue against them. Instead, they slap the "stalker" label on Marinette and call it a day without a second thought. I find that incredibly annoying in an analytical context and incredibly unappealing in a writing context for reasons we'll get to at the end.
That doesn't mean that I agree with Marinette's every action. The writers have made her do some extremely questionable things and I'm happy to criticize those moments! But, while I will happily agree that individual episodes take her too far, the overall picture doesn't fit a stalker even if you take things at face value and pretend that nothing is a joke/ignore that Miraculous is a comedy which is not how good analysis works. Ignoring the fact that Miraculous is a comedy shows poor media literacy and is another reason I can't take the stalker claims seriously.
If Marinette is a stalker, then every adult who showed up at Adrien's house in Party Crasher needs to be arrested because wtf were they doing showing up to a party thrown by unchaperoned 14-year-olds? If we take that episode seriously, then it's super creepy! But it's clearly not meant to be taken seriously because this is a comedy. The adults showing up was just done to make Adrien's party seem insane, not concerning like it would be in the real world. If you can wrap your head around that, but you're also trying to argue that Marinette's behavior in this episode was "problematic," then I just can't take you seriously. Pick a lane. Either all of the jokes are serious character beats or none of them are.
Marinette Analysis
To really dig into this, let's quickly look at a few of Marinette's worst behaviors and talk about why they don't set off my alarm bells for her character being a stalker. As we go over these, I want you to keep two things in mind:
stalking is about patterns of behavior not one-off bad choices
stalkers use stalking as a way to control and own their victims
Following Adrien Around
If Marinette were written as a stalker, she'd be doing this on the daily. She'd follow Adrien home every time we see him go home. She'd be at every one of his outdoor photo shoots. She'd transform into Ladybug and use binoculars to watch him in his room. But she doesn't. Most of the time, Marinette is happily living her life while Adrien lives his. She's more likely to watch his commercials than watch him which is not how stalkers work. That is how you write a fan, not a stalker.
There are a few episodes that do have Marinette follow him around, but it's always done as a way to start the plot and never as a fun little character beat like Marinette making Tikki hats. Even then, I think the Shanghai special is the only time when Marinette just randomly follows him somewhere to be with him (it's her most stalkerish moment, imo, but it's quite notably a one-time thing). Most of the time, there's an inciting incident that leads her to follow him for some reason other than just watching Adrien.
For example, Oni-Chan has Lila being creepy and lying her way into Adrien's home, leading Marinette to follow to see what's going on. That's not stalker behavior. That's comedically exaggerated concerned friend behavior. I could see Alya or Nino doing the same thing if they were allowed to be smart when Lila was around.
Sneaking into Adrien's Home
Once again, this doesn't happen in most episodes. I can only think of four out of 125: Chat Blanc, Party Crasher, Oni-Chan, and Gabriel Agreste. In each of these episodes, Marinette sneaks into the mansion - or tries to sneak into the mansion - because of some sort of mission or special circumstances and not as part of her normal behavior. For example, Chat Blanc is arguably the most questionable of these, but it starts because Marinette's girlfriends challenge her to give Adrien a present and not because Marinette just decided to go to the mansion:
Rose:Â That's it, Marinette! No more picnics, sleepovers, or going to the movies with us until you give him that gift! You made that hat for Saint Athanasius Day, which is today! How is Adrien's supposed to know you're thinking of him on his fifth name's day if you don't give him your gift? Alya:Â She's right. Today is the day! All the girls except Marinette:Â Go, go, go, go, go, go!
But when Marinette gets there, Nathalie won't let her in or allow her to wait. Nathalie doesn't even offer to take the gift, so Marinette sneaks in to leave the present behind. Good behavior? No, but not Marinette going to the mansion of her own volition to creep on Adrien. While this leads to the totally creepy pillow sniff moment, that's pretty much all Marinette does outside of leaving the gift. She doesn't go snooping in Adrien's room like Lila does in Oni-Chan because the point of this episode wasn't to make Marinette look like a villain or a creep. It was about punishing Marinette for using her powers to give Adrien a gift with her name on it as that's too selfish, I guess.
In fact, none of these episodes were trying to make Marinette look like a villain or a creep. Each one made her do something questionable, but only so that the plot would work. No present, no Chat Blanc. No party crashing or fake butler disguise and Marinette isn't there for the akuma. When there's no plot-necessary reason for Marinette to be at the mansion, she isn't. That's not how you write a stalker. For her to be a stalker, she needs a lot more Chat Blanc moments where she just sneaks in to leave him things or sniff his pillow. We need a pattern, not a one-off moment.
Having Adrien's Schedule
I know I'd said I'd take things more seriously than a comedy calls for in this discussion, but it's impossible to take this one even remotely seriously. How would Marinette even have Adrien's schedule for the next three years? Where did she get it? How is she keeping it up to date when things absolutely change on a weekly basis? How is anyone missing that this is a joke, especially when you consider how the show writes Marinette outside of this episode (Gigantitan)?
While Marinette is sometimes shown to know about things like Adrien's fencing schedule, most episodes present Marinette as if she's reacting to things that she just learned about. For example, in Backwarder, she freaks out about Adrien going to England with Kagami for a wedding that would have been on Adrien's schedule for months if not years.
Why would Marinette do that if she has his schedule? If she's a stalker, then as soon as she heard about the wedding, she'd be on a mission to find out if Adrien has a date and if there are any threats in attendance. She'd probably even find a way to stop Kagami from going like messing with her food. But Marinette doesn't do any of that. Instead, she's written as if she just found out about the wedding and is making up a plan on the fly:
Marinette: Girls! We have a very serious situation! (The girls are cuddled up in the couch, all of them except Rose looking extremely tired)Adrien and his father have been invited to the Royal Wedding in England this weekend. Alya: (annoyed and exhausted) That's the âemergencyââ you called us over here for on a Saturday morning? (frowns) Marinette: You don't get it! Kagami and her mother are going too! (paces around the room doing dramatic hand gestures) Which means that Adrien and Kagami will be spending an entire weekend together!
And her plan ends up being to give Adrien a note and hope for the best. Not exactly the obsessive, controlling behavior you'd go for if you were writing a stalker.
This also implies that, at most, she probably knows his weekly routine which isn't weird since that's something he'd talk about to his friends. Like all of Marinette's worst behavior, the "knows his schedule for the next three years thing" was a one-off gag. Please stop obsessing over it. This isn't how characterization works.
(Note from my male friend who I discussed this post with: the line about the schedule did put him on edge because of his experiences, but that quickly passed as Marinette's behavior didn't back up the line from a stalking POV.)
Stealing Adrien's Stuff
I'm pretty sure the only time Marinette steals something from Adrien when she takes his phone in Copy Cat. "I left an embarrassing message and have to delete it" is an established comedic plot that has been done by dozens of shows and not something uniquely chosen for Marinette, but let's ignore that for a moment and pretend that it's a serious character beat and not a comedy doing something silly because it's a comedy and that's how they work.
Even if we remove all that context, Marinette still isn't acting like a stalker. When my stalker hacked into my email, he was doing it in an effort to control me, not to delete an embarrassing message. He read everything he could find and used that to mess with me. It's actually how I discovered he'd done it. He knew too much. Marinette doesn't do anything like that. She deletes her message and then puts the phone back because stealing the phone wasn't about stalking Adrien. It was about fixing her mistake. A stalker would go through the phone to learn everything about her obsession.
Conclution
None of this is meant to say that everything Marinette does is totally fine and I think people are overreacting if her worst moments upset them. I hate many of the choices they've made for her character and think they were total missteps. If a real person was doing the things Marinette does, then I'd be getting psychiatric services involved because this isn't healthy. I could even see it devolving into actual stalking as the early warning signs are there.
However, Marinette's behavior isn't meant to be realistic and taken at face value. She's the fictional star of a comedy where the writers decided to make her failed confessions a running gag so they had to keep coming up with ridiculous situations to put her in based around her crush. That context matters when evaluating her character and deciding if her actions are meant to be as serious as Chat Blanc ending the world or silly as adults at a teenager's party in Party Crasher. For the majority of seasons one to five, it's very clearly Party-Crasher silly. That doesn't mean you need to like the jokes - I certainly don't - it just means that you do need own that they're jokes if you're trying to do any sort of serious analysis of Marinette's character.
I went through several elements of her behavior not to say that she's totally pure and fine, but to show you that people are taking a handful of really bad moments and acting like it's her standard behavior which isn't how large-scale character analysis works. I was also highlighting the difference between a character who is purposely written as a stalker and a character being the victim of a bunch of adult men making massive missteps while trying write a comedy about a teenage girl with a monster crush. If you want to take her behavior seriously in the context of what jokes are appropriate and what ones go too far, then be my guest! But that's not character analysis even if the analysis is focused on Marinette's character. It's a comedy or writing analysis. Any quality analysis of Marinette's character as a whole and how we're supposed to read her has to take the context of her actions into account.
To write Marinette as a real stalker, you have to go a lot further than the writers did. You have to make her worst behavior constant and not just occasional bad calls. You have to make her feel dangerous and change the tone from comedy to horror. You need to have her friends react with concern instead of egging Marinette on or pushing her into situations as if Marinette's behavior is fine. You need to have Tikki being deeply concerned and not just mildly exasperated. Canon doesn't do any of that because the writers don't intend Marinette's behavior to be read as concerning. When you look at the full context of canon, it's glaringly obvious that the problem is that the writers sometimes make poor calls when exaggerating her crush to tell jokes and not intentional elements of Marinette's character that you should take at face value.
Bonus Salt Fic Discussion
I said at the top that I find the stalker Marinette takes "incredibly unappealing in a writing context" and so I'll end with that as that is more nuanced than bad analysis.
Did canon give us a handful of moments that you can really lean on to back a read that Marinette is an unhinged stalker? Yes, it did. I can't say that people are making that shit up. The Shanghai special and Derision are especially solid "proof." Is fanfic often about obsessing over single moments and little details to an absurd degree no matter how insignificant those details are? Yep, I can't deny that either. That's not unique salter behavior.** Does Miraculous have wildly inconsistent characterization for basically every character with more the one appearance, making it so that you have to pick and choose what you're going to embrace as "canon" for you version if you want to be even remotely coherent with your own characterizations? 100%
All of that is why I'm on the record as saying that I get where the Marinette salt is coming from just like I get the Adrien salt and the class salt and so on. It's standard fandom behavior to bash characters you don't like and the salt takes aren't even doing that thing where people make shit up. It's all based on canon because canon keeps making terrible choice after terrible choice! I just don't find it fun because salt fics are all about embracing the worst writing in the show and expanding upon it, which is the exact opposite of what I want to see when I'm reading fic. I read fic to see better versions of canon! I don't want to be reminded of canon's very real problems. Problems I only expect to get worse as time goes on.
I have no doubt that season six will bring with it a bunch of new moments where Marinette and others act terribly. I wouldn't even be shocked if we reach a point where I agree that Marinette's standard behavior makes her feel dangerous because season five's ending certainly set things up to go there. However, for now, the worst label I'd put on her is "creepy" and that's only in the context of specific episodes. Generally speaking, she's fine.
*Btw, Marinette isn't actually my favorite character. My favorites are Alya, Plagg, and Adrien
**As an example of fandom obsessing over a more neutral detail and elevating it beyond anything canon ever dreamed of, I'll draw your attention to the fandom's obsession with Adrien saying that Marinette is "just a friend." I have come across multiple fics that would have you think that's his catch phrase. A pattern which was deeply confusing because I could only recall him saying it once or twice. After some digging, as best I can tell, he says those words four times and it's never even to Marinette's face, which is wild when you think about how many fics have her parroting the line as if he says it to her all the time. I've even had people tell me that he says that line all the time when that's very clearly not the case. I'd say it's weird, but it's probably just a variation of the fact that eye-witness accounts of crimes are notoriously inaccurate. People just don't remember things accurately.
#ml writing salt#ml writing critical#marinette deserves better#red-balloon12#Feel free to let me know if there are additional âjust a friendâ moments#I only found that post because fics kept bringing it up and I was deeply confused because I didn't remember Adrien saying it all the time#I was starting to think I'd forgotten something#marinette defense squad
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hi, i'm not the same anon but i would like to hear more about the fyuuture kid au đđ especially about riddle!!
hello new friend, you picked someone who is having a real bad time in this au (ïŸÏïŸïŒ)
I am going to give some general information about Yutu and then move on to some Riddle specific stuff.
notes: they/them used for Yuu, general au explanation can be found here, and the posts can be found on my masterlist under the series section.
General Yutu Facts
"Yutu" is supposed to be a fake name fyuuture kid is using to help hide his identity, but I am open to suggestions on that. Originally he didn't remember his name and Crowley picked it out for him, but I like the idea of "Yuu two" being a nickname he had in both your world and Twisted Wonderland and picked as his alias to honor his parent. Yutu really admires Yuu, he has nothing but empathy for your situation and respect for your strength, and while he certainly fought with you from time to time (some Yutus more than others) he wants to be like you.
That desire was very much cemented when he heard about how you won against the overblot phantoms. Yutu's unique magic changes depending on who his dad is, but all Yutus have extensive experience in combat magic and have fought a lot of monsters. Including overblot phantoms, same as you. His fights didn't go as well though... he's extremely afraid of the Great Seven's phantoms and has regular nightmares about them.
Back to the names... I didn't have names picked out for every version of Yutu, but Riddle does happen to have been one of them. His real name was supposed to be March, yes like the march hare but if I'm honest I was more thinking about the saying "in like a lion out a lamb" because I thought that described Riddle's temper pretty well.
The other ones I picked out I still like are Merrin (I swear I found it on a list of mountain themed names??? But it means sea born or pearl of the sea), Laurie (yes like little women, his unique magic was supposed to something to do with painting), and Roland (I have an unironic love for French peerage ok please do not judge me).
Some of the Yutus were meant to have older siblings who stayed behind in Twisted Wonderland (Riddle! Yutu wasn't one of them), but that was very much an idea I didn't develop extensively since it was more left over from Fire Emblem Awakening. I wanted there to be a Lucina type older sibling character who was very protective of Yutu and wanting a future where he gets to stay in Twisted Wonderland and they get to be a happy family. But again I didn't cook this idea extensively so idk how to feel about keeping it as a part of the ayuu.
Anyway on to the Riddle specific stuff ÂŹâżÂŹ
So that bit about Yutu's real name coming from a description from Riddle's temper: I like to leave what Yutu looks like up to the reader, but Riddle! Yutu if nothing else took two things from his father, his (lack of) height and his temper. His facial expressions when pouting and angry are eerily similar, and they both have a strong affinity for fire. Riddle! Yutu is a lot like Riddle Tsum now that I think about it? Very high energy and likes to jump around all over the place, but determined to be at least somewhat dignified.
Since traveling back in time Yutu has been "studying" with Grim to try and get his flames hot enough to burn blue to flex on his dad and to bond with the monster. He usually just ends up watching him though, the mental image he had of Grim vs what the little guy is actually like is really wild.
Back to the temper, unlike Riddle Yutu wasn't home schooled so he got into a lot of trouble for losing it on other students. He had a chip on his shoulder about not having a dad, having a parent with amnesia, and especially about being short oh god he is so spiteful about that. He got sent to detention a lot, and shamefully it made him fight with Yuu a lot too. Not that he hates Yuu, he was just very emotional and not always the easiest to deal with. His last few interactions with Yuu before they died were very strained, and he is filled with remorse for a bunch of stupid things he said.
When he gets to the point where he has to admit to Yuu who he is there is going to be a lot of crying and begging for forgiveness. He was a stupid, angry kid who just wanted to know who he was and didn't feel like he belonged lashing out at the one person who he knew wanting nothing but the best for him. He doesn't really feel the need to ask for forgiveness from his dad (yet)... by the time Yutu was isekaid into Twisted Wonderland Riddle had been corrupted by his overblot phantom and was wrecking the Queendom of Roses so he never really met the real Riddle until he traveled back in time.
He also got compared to Riddle a lot, Yutu isn't stupid by any means but because of all that time spent in detention he is a bit behind on the fundamentals. Not to mention all Riddle has done up to this point is practice magic and Yutu only just found out it was real so of course there was going to be a skill gap! But still, he's Riddle's son and Riddle was a very memorable student for Crewel, so Yutu was guaranteed to hear some comparisons. It didn't help the daddy issues though...
Speaking of Yutu's time at NRC, he did get placed into Heartslabyul by the Dark Mirror and he does know all 810 rules of the Queen's rules. He's not as obsessed with them as Riddle is but he still knows what he's supposed to do and tries to be on his best behavior. He was not interested in being dorm leader and wanted to instead focus on the things Yuu always encouraged him to do, like controlling his temper and getting good grades.
I sort of like the idea of his unique magic being the ability to grow/shrink because in the book Rule 42 of the Queen of Hearts says âAll persons more than a mile high to leave the court" and I like the idea of him trying to use his spell to get out of arguments with his dad.
Riddle has no idea that Yutu hates him... at first. This is partially because Yutu is usually very polite to him and partially because he is utterly unaware of how much people are afraid of him in general, but he starts to pick up on it when he tries to interact with Yuu. He wants to have a private tea party with just Yuu? Well Yutu immediately starts acting like this is somehow scandalous and calls him out on his feelings in front of the prefect and he wants to lose it so badly- Yuu agrees anyway and Riddle immediately gets unreasonably smug while Yutu pouts. Take that sucker! He's going to study with the prefect all alone and since it's Riddle you know you really are just going to study.
I don't think Riddle really considers Yutu a rival for Yuu's romantic attention, partially because he isn't fully aware of what it is he feels for Yuu, but even if he was. Riddle knows that Yuu sees Yutu as someone under their care similar to Grim, they actually talk to him about it quite a bit and he has no issue with that. He is actually sort of grateful for Yutu's existence since it has given him an excuse to talk to Yuu more and let them know how he respects them.
Yutu's academic struggles are something that actually bring him closer to Riddle ironically enough. Riddle has created study guides for Yuu and Grim before, he has no problem doing that for Yutu and inviting himself over to give instructions.
"Did you not get a lot of help from your parents?" Riddle sounds nervous, and he should it's an invasive question to ask. Yutu wants to be angry, but when he looks at Riddle, he just feels sad. "Not that it is any of my business really but well. I just noticed you never really talk about them, even to Yuu."
"My dad wasn't really around." He forces himself to look at Riddle when he says it, but it doesn't make him feel any better. If anything it makes Yutu feel worse, he knows about as much about Riddle as Riddle knows about him now that he's forced to look at him. "And my other parent... they tried really hard. But I wasn't always willing to accept it."
"I can't say I understand what that would be like." Riddle looks like he is trying to and that should be what he wants, right? "My mother home schooled me so it's hard for me to understand that someone's parents wouldn't be a constant figure in their schooling."
"You were home schooled?"
Yutu didn't know anything about his grandmother, it didn't even really occur to him that he had one and once he learns about her... well it certainly makes things make a lot more sense. He doesn't want to meet her, but he is curious about what she thought about his parent. What would she think about him? Does he even want to know?
My last concrete thought is that Yutu doesn't really get the whole horse girl thing. He is sort of afraid of horses actually, but I can see him maybe wanting to ride with Riddle once their relationship gets a bit better just to do something with him.
I like the idea of Riddle! Yutu being very into baseball for some reason and there's no way he's going to convince his dad to do that with him ha. Well not in this timeline anyway, I can see good timeline Riddle doing a bunch of research on baseball so he can talk to his kid about it. And showing up to all his matches to scream in support of his kid instead of at the coaches. He is breaking the cycle we love to see it.
#<3 asks#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#future kid au#riddle rosehearts x yuu#riddle rosehearts x reader
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the scent wafts in, her name making him beg on his knees chap 5 || touya x fem!reader [modern au]
chapter summary: Touya takes a trip down memory lane, reliving all his days as a host and how it changed his world for the worse.
themes: mentions of prostitution, sex, SA, abuse, violence, etc. (YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED)
notes: this one really has heavy themes and I want you all to be aware of the warning cause yeah; oh btw this is fem! reader but all is written in 3rd POV so y/n will be referred to as "she/her"
masterlist
Touya knew about sex when he was a child, and no amount of porn and eavesdropping could make him discover this fact. It wasn't like he accidentally found a stash of porn magazines or DVDs in the house or he walked in on someone doing it. He knew about it when the adults were talking, specifically his grandparents (more like his mom's parents). They were talking about Rei having another child with Enji after Fuyumi, and that's when he heard the word he shouldn't have.
Sex.
He knew about that word when he was tasked to fill out his basic contact information, and what he knew about it was his gender. It took him a bit of searching on a random dictionary to understand what it really was, and he suddenly dropped the book as he covered his mouth in shock. The gasp he was about to let in suffocated him as he deduced things in his head and learned later on how the birth of Natsuo and Shouto changed a lot of things in his perspective.
Sex. Intercourse. Coitus. It was all a chore his parents did to bear an heir for the Endeavor Corp. But for his childish mind, they were trying to replace him, and it made him see red.
He wanted to say he was good enough to be like Enji, to be his successor. But no, Enji rejected the idea of him being the next CEO. For Enji, Touya was not good enough. He didn't need an heir who drives himself mad when he can't achieve perfection. He doesn't need an heir who shows weakness in his sleeve.
It ruined Touya that he couldn't look at relationships the same way as he entered puberty. Whenever he sees a few of his classmates dating or talking about "Hey, I stayed over at my girl's place when her parents were away" or "Well, I couldn't ignore her especially when she's being like that to me," it made him think: Relationships are a facade. Romance is a lie. Virginity is a concept they play to make themselves feel they attained innocence. Pleasure is just the side effect of it, but it's nothing.
------
He was 22 when he agreed with the manager's suggestion to have side work as a host for a club at the Red District every Monday and Friday. Honestly, he half-expected a few customers to ask for a kiss on the first try or even a hug or basically any form of physical intimacy. Surprisingly, most of them only wanted male attention, someone to talk to when they get off work or when things get stressed out, or just a harmless, casual date because they couldn't find a man that would give them the treatment they wanted.
Another thing Touya learned: he didn't have to act like he was so nice like a Prince Charming like some of the hosts do. He was just naturally there, talking when he was supposed to talk and serving them drinks like the gentleman they thought him to be. So there were no hookups or casual sex or any bookings of hotel rooms afterward.
That was until he met his regular customers that things took a downturn for him.
------
1. The one who's visibly disgusted by the man she would be marrying
Touya met her every Friday, and he already knew from the get-go that she was the typical rich daughter who went by her parents' bidding; someone who never touched bad things. Well, except that night. She decided to go to the Red District for the first time and heard about this secret host you can book. He had heard her family name somewhere, probably when he was still in high school since Enji and Rei would have the four of them attend important events. It only occurred to him then how popular she was with the way the other hosts were staring and whispering to themselves.
It was when the other hosts talked to him in the locker room and told him that she was hiding a lot from the media because apparently, she was marrying this famous celebrity producer who went after gravure models; that it was an arranged marriage and she obviously abhorred the fact that she was getting wed off to an old geezer.
When she talked to him about meeting up with her on a Saturday night at a booked hotel room, Touya already knew what she was up to. There was extra money involved, plus her promise that she wouldn't be booking his services after. The arrangement worked well with him, setting aside his personal feelings over the matter, as he had sex with her, making it seem like he knew the ropes when he clearly did not. Everything was all thanks to porn and all those gravure magazines he saw from his classmates in high school.
When she cried afterwards, something about being relieved that she didn't spend her first time with a perverted old man, that was when Touya's heart constricted with heaviness. He didn't understand what he felt back then, but after leaving the hotel, he spent away the last of his expenses drinking and smoking before returning to work like nothing.
------
2. The one whose loneliness cannot be fulfilled by her own husband
He dreaded this one regular, and he wished he told the manager that he didn't want to entertain this woman. The first time she booked Touya, he thought she was just a regular customer who wanted nothing from him until she started placing her hand on his thigh one night, and a few nights after, she asked if they could meet outside. Touya was stressed over her and her silly antics, even though she was just asking him to eat lunch at her recommended fancy restaurants and stroll around town.
Well, it wasn't like she was overly clingy or demanding; it was the fact that Touya had no idea what she had under all that nice adult woman facade. It was only when they met up at a coffee shop that she told him about her circumstances. She said, "My husband and I cannot divorce, and he knew about this arrangement and didn't mind as long as no one knew. I also don't mind since he has been sleeping with other women for as long as I can remember."Â This irked Touya and reminded him of his parents' arranged marriage. He knew they didn't cheat on each other, but it made him think about how the media and paparazzi painted the Todoroki family as a loving family with toothy grins and blooming flowers.
What made this situation worse for Touya was how the woman decided he meet her every weekend at her shared house with her husband. Touya had already met the man, and he knew from one look that all he cared about was knowing who his wife was sleeping with and reminding him that the two of them were only to have a sexual relationship and nothing else (not like he was looking forward to moving things further with a client anyway).
They would always have sex in the guest room assigned for them, but sometimes the wife would take a risk and have them go all the way to the master's bedroom. She would reason out that it wasn't like her husband was so faithful not to bring women there inside since she caught them before in the said room. Touya learned she was insatiable as hell and would try a lot of her fantasies on him because her husband deprived her of trying out exciting things.
Their last sex was of Touya wrapping her legs around his hips as her back hit the bathroom wall and the hot shower poured down on them. After the high, Touya told her he wouldn't be entertaining her anymore since the risk of their arrangement was catching up on him.
------
3. The one who wanted the boyfriend experience
This one was simple, and Touya kind of liked her because he was able to forget his shitty childhood and family issues. She basically became a friend in many ways, and her reason for hiring Touya was because she wanted the boyfriend experience, kind of like having a secret lover especially now that she had gone adulthood and wanted companionship. Touya wouldn't say it was fun being with her. It was just okay. She would ask him to hold hands or ruffle her hair or tell her the corniest shit that he had ever said (he was still embarrassed remembering it, but he managed to set aside his shame over her.)
It became apparent that something was amiss when she visited on a Friday night, displaying unease and nervousness, punctuating the air with sighs as he handed her the drink. He was about to speak when she blurted out, "There's a guy at work, and he said he saw me with you, and he confessed. He asked me if I wanted to date." Her face was beet red as she made a mess of her hair, probably remembering the said confession in her head. "Dabi-kun, what should I do?! Do you think I'm a good dating material?"
Touya wasn't in love with her, but the way things were happening, there was that familiar feeling again when he had sex for the first time with his first regular. That dark pit in his stomach prompted him to do something bad and run away instead of facing them properly. It was easier to drown everything
He placed the glass on the table and said, "Give it a try. You never know what might happen."
He never saw her after that, and he didn't take customers for a while. He spent his weekends drinking and smoking until he fell asleep.
------
4. The one who struggles with a husband's cuckolding kink
Touya was weirded out by this customer because usually, it was only the woman who stayed in the room waiting for him as he served them one of his best alcohol concoctions. It was on a Monday night when he had a married couple as his client. Great. Before, it was often the wife who came in here. Now, they bring their husbands into the mix, he thought bitterly as he sat on the couch. At first, it was awkward with the way the wife was trying to lighten up the mood by telling fun stories as her husband drank and watched them from the corner. Honestly, Touya could not care. At least he was getting his usual drink. If this evening turned out shitty, then so be it.
Suddenly, the husband stood up and knelt traditionally (seiza-style), bowing before Touya as he begged, "Please have sex with my wife!"
The wife went to his side as Touya stopped midway from his drink, his mood worsening as he was yet again reminded of this one regular. However, this time he thinks it is different as the wife assures him there is no need for him to kneel and beg because she can do fine without sex, which the husband is opposed to. And the two went on to discuss his cuckolding kink, how he would only get turned on and have sex with her once he was done having sex with someone else.
Touya narrowed his eyes in disgust, leaning on the couch as his cold voice cut through the conversation.
"Aren't you two being rude?"
The couple were ashamed, bowing at him for their lack of respect and quickly explaining about the matter at hand. According to the couple, they've been having problems in the sex department because of the husband's cuckolding kink, something about getting turned on by the fantasy of his wife having sex with someone. Touya obviously groaned in disgust and was about to protest, dismissing their request and not wanting to partake in their weird shenanigan, something about the charade setting him off even further than before. The husband wanted him to have sex with his wife just so he could take her afterward. How revolting. Why did the manager let them in this place?
"This will only happen once, please!" The husband added. "We will make a formal contract." Then he gave him his business card. "You can call me if you change your mind."
Of course, Touya doesn't call him. He doesn't care. He will do the usual. Yeah, he tells himself this as he realizes he needs more stash of money so he can live for the next month (not like he was running out; he was just being careful.) So he finally succumbs to temptation and calls the man up, meeting them in a fancy restaurant as Touya read through the contents of the contract.
The contract was fair and just for all parties, though. For one, the husband will not watch or record Touya and his wife having sex or any act similar to the matter. It also indicated that this would only be a one-time thing between the three of them and Touya will be paid a hefty amount on the same day the act will commence. Touya also added a few things in the agreement, which included no BDSM or anything similar and that he would not be doing any acts that would "impregnate" the wife (since a few of his customers before liked the idea of breeding, and he didn't love it.)
When all was said and done, Touya got into the business and did everything like how he did before, masking all his emotions and pretending there was so much pleasure and thrill in embracing another man's wife when there wasn't. It was vile even, knowing that the husband was willing for his wife to be disrespected just so he could give her the love she deserved. The worst part? She liked touching him, hugging him close as he thrust even further, or kissing his lips like she owned him. Touya wanted to push her away and tell her, this was just sex and she was crossing some sort of boundary. Then again, she was a customer. It's not like he hadn't been paid to give a kiss before.
Afterwards, he took a shower and left without a word, carrying the check with a large sum as he headed to the bank that day. Touya slept that night convincing himself everything was a nightmare; a horrible shit he went through because he needed to survive.
------
5. The one who likes sharing everything with her bestfriend
Touya had been hearing stories from other hosts about some customers booking them together and having awesome threesomes, that there was no greater feeling in the world than having more than one woman with you in bed. He wished he had the same sentiment because honestly, he doesn't find what's so fun about threesomes. It was tiring and disgusting beyond means, and he still couldn't fathom the fact of sharing a lover with another in bed. Gross. Gross. GROSS.
But he had to experience it because of two women; one, a sultry vixen who believes the world is in the palm of her hands, the other an alluring shadow of her own existence competing to be in the spotlight. The first one meets Touya every Monday and the other on Fridays, and he could see a recurring pattern in the way they both lead conversations. The vixen liked herself so much, and it was apparent. So apparent Touya could even bring a tall mirror and face it on her so she would brag about how this one guy tried to seduce him at the bar a few nights ago or when her co-worker's boyfriend tried to date her in secret. She would even mention being scouted as a model but rejected all offers as she wanted to be an IT developer.
On the other hand, her bestfriend was shy but nonetheless had this air of confidence. Touya could even remember how one of the staff members asked him about her because the guy genuinely was attracted to the way she was so elegant and dainty. Her posture screamed princess vibes as she held her glass of champagne and talked to Touya about her modeling job. Touya could even tolerate this one better than the other as she wasn't being a bitch when they have an actual conversation (because he swore he dreaded every Monday seeing her).
Until one time, the two of them asked him to have sex with each of them on different days as a part of his off-duty job. Touya was already guessing, "They're gonna invite me to a threesome soon" because the way they had sex with him was always "Did she do this to you?" or "Am I more fun than her?" like they were openly comparing themselves to each other to him. And he knew they talked about it. There was no doubt.
And they did. They invited him because they shared things with each other. Because they liked the same guys. They hated the same guys. They loved the same things. They also hated the same things. They're twins from different mothers, and Touya only wished that this whole shit would go down the drain and this would be the last he would have them, thrusting up and down as the two women ground their pussies on his shaft. Their throaty moans were getting mixed in, and he bit his lip to hide his moan because there was no way he liked this. He hated this. Hated everything with every fiber of his being.
After the whole stint, Touya finally handed in his resignation letter and left. He was tired of pleasing people; weary from all this nasty chore he had been doing for the sake of living in hell.
------
Touya later learns that love and sex can coexist. When he encountered his (only) ex-girlfriend while working as a bartender at Shigaraki's bar, he found himself perplexed about how to navigate this new dynamic. They initially started as smoking buddies in the back of the building, exchanging crude jokes until they eventually exchanged phone numbers. He genuinely enjoyed spending time with her, but eventually, their connection faded into nothing.
Fun. It was what they only had next to nothing.
Her name was Ruka, and she had her long dark hair dyed blonde as she dressed in the same black outfits as him but feminine. She was all guts and foul curses, her red lips smirking teasingly. He knew from the moment they put a label on what they were that she would expect a lot from him as her boyfriend. Dates. Movies. Late-night talks. Smoking and drinking together. Hugging. Holding hands. Having sex. Touya tried his best to be the boyfriend she wanted even though he had zero idea of how to be one, and he believed at the time it was because they were dating. It turned out to him that he was simply repeating the same train of thought.
Dating is a chore. Sex is a chore. Relationships are nothing but a chore.
He was simply doing everything out of responsibility, not fully caring about himself or how Ruka would feel. He was a tad selfish that they fought a lot and he didn't swallow his pride or compromise even. He would go about his way proving his point and if he didn't, he would slam the door and leave for days, spending his nights at the bar and making it his new home. Ruka also held her pride so high she didn't even find him or apologize, and they would fall into this toxic pattern of seeing each other again after a few weeks then making out and having sex and brushing everything under the rug because emotions are getting into the way of their fun. There was no way they were ruining whatever this relationship was for a sappy one-on-one of calling each other out and promising to do better.
Touya didn't change, and he grew tired of being her dream boyfriend. He still leaves his clothes on the floor. He doesn't tell her where he went. He never goes the mile to update her. He drops by her space whenever he wanted to despite her telling him to just move in. He ghosts her and then comes back like nothing.
He was being pathetic, and she was being overbearing. She cries, thinking he will relent when he sees her tears. It doesn't change his mind though. He just gets worse. They would throw things at each other and curse. They would raise their middle fingers. They would throw hands and he'd give a punch in exchange for her slaps and hits.
Touya just left and never came back after.
------
"She was a lot different," Touya mentioned his girlfriend (the current one he thinks about so often) again to his therapist. "I know I told you this before, but the first time we did it, everything just made sense."
He didn't know how. He just felt it. It all came full circle. That morning had him almost running in fear, scared at the thought of going deeper with her because he knew he would hurt her. He will not give her whatever she wants. Those dreamy things from romance mangas? Those corny lines from romantic movies with sappy storylines? Consider them all trashed. There was no way he would give in.
But Touya will stay around. He knew to himself that he would die the moment this shit was all over; that she had changed her mind and wanted those romantic stints from the screens. But staying around didn't do it for himâespecially for her. Just because he stayed around didn't mean he got what he wanted. He loved her, so, so much; yet she was sleeping with a man who's a figment of his own false identity. It was toying him upside down, especially with the way she looked at him with adoration and pure sincerity when he knew it wasn't really him.
"I want her to love me," he stressed out. "Only me."
next chap
masterlist
#mha#bnha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha x reader#mha x reader#dabi#touya todoroki#dabi x reader#mha dabi#dabi angst#mha touya todoroki#touya todoroki x reader#touya x reader#mha todoroki touya#touya todoroki angst#mha touya#touya angst#todoroki shouto#shoto Todoroki#todoroki siblings#todoroki Fuyumi#fuyumi Todoroki#natsuo Todoroki#todoroki family#touya todoroki x oc#bnha x oc#touya todoroki x yn
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My Marauders Hcs
đ„A/n: most of these aren't intended to be x reader, but some of them are !
đ„Character(s): James, Sirius, Remus, Peter
đ„Cw: none, mostly fluff
James:
James is the type to have a planner and obsess over it the first week of owning it, and then forget about it immediately afterwards. every school year he tells himself that this is the year he's organized, and then by the third week the planner is rotting under his bed and he's going by memory
constantly running a hand through his hair. it started off as a nervous tic, but soon became soothing for him. whenever he's upset or frustrated, he always finds himself ruffling and messing with his hair. a lot of people think its on purpose, but its not, and he gets really defensive when people point it out.
simultaneously smart but dumb. James is an intelligent individual, but he just doesn't apply himself and would probably be top of his class if he tried- he just doesn't care too. not that his grades are bad per se, but they aren't as good as they could be
James is one of those people who's actually quieter once you get close to them. he overcompensates and acts more extroverted than he is in most social interactions, but once you get close to him he mellows out and becomes quieter. you can tell when James is really comfortable with someone because he's very relaxed and calm around them, he doesn't feel the need to be anything more than he is
sooo loyal. we already know this, but seriously, if he's dating you, he's the most loyal person there is. you would never ever even suspect he's cheating, he gets grossed out if other people even flirt with him. if he's dating you, he's whipped!!
on top of this, James is not afraid to show you off. he never understands how someone could be embarrassed of their partner, or pretend they aren't a couple because of others' opinions. he understands being private about a relationship, but if someone directly asks who he's dating, he's going to say that its you- and he's proud too!
tiny shirt + big pants combo>>>
let marlene do his makeup once at a party and, while he thought it was cool, didn't really think it was for him. he'll wear makeup if you want him too, and occasionally he'll put on mascara or tinted chapstick just for kicks, but i don't think he would spend a lot of time on makeup of skincare or stuff like that. he just doesn't have the patience for it
in my head he's half arabian and 1/4 african, with his father being mixed and his mother being fully arabian. his hair is sooo curly, and it took him a while to learn how to take care of it and keep his curls from getting frizzy or dry
James let Sirius attempt to pierce his ears sometime during fifth year, and wanted to try it the "muggle way" which, predictably, went badly wrong- but he's fond of them anyway! so, now he has slightly crooked ear piercings that he just puts plain black studs or a small diamond in. he also forgets to take his earrings out for Quidditch a LOT, so Peter was always reminding him about it
we all know about the headcanons about him wearing red converse, but i also vividly see him wearing the dirtiest high top vans you've ever seen- something like this but heavily used and loved
if a sweater or hoodie is too long, he has to push the sleeves up to his elbows. James cannot stand the feeling of sleeves brushing against his hand or wrist, its so specific but it would piss him off so much
tries to learn French so he could understand Sirius' and Regulus' conversations (especially when they were talking about him in front of him), and has an insane duolingo streak. like he's failing half his classes just because he's lazy, but his duolingo streak is like 400+
curses in Arabic a lot, and also calls his friends nicknames or petnames in Arabic as well
James has a really loud, boisterous laugh that practically fills up a room and makes everyone turn to look at him- like genuinely he can NOT be quiet when laughing
Sirius:
he made "potions" in the shower as a kid
Sirius cuts his hair on his own, and gets really nervous about asking other people to cut it. its a big sign of trust for him if he lets you cut his hair, as Walburga used to cut it short as a punishment. he genuinely prefers to just do it himself, but that means that more often than not his hair is pretty long because it's tough to reach the back
has at least 4 rubber bands on his wrist at all times- one for himself, one for Marlene, one for Lily, and then one extra. he oftentimes has even more, and he forgets that he has them on and will wake up in the morning with literal creases in his wrist because he kept them on for sooo long đ
in his first/second year, Sirius had a french accent that he desperately tried to get rid of. he eventually succeeded, but it still slips out occasionally
he started painting his nails to piss off his parents, but soon became pretty good at it. now, Sirius and the girls of the friendgroup all hang out and he does their nails for them! in my mind, he has medium-short nails. they aren't completely flat, and he keeps them very smooth and rounded and pushes back his cuticles as well
has a comfort leather jacket that he wears almost constantly. the texture and weight is so familiar to him that even taking it off feels uncomfortable sometimes. when he's anxious or upset, he'll wear the jacket to help calm himself down and a lot of times, he has woken up with it on after a stressful night
Sirius has a complicated relationship with cleaning. his parents were far too strict about neatness, and he's associated cleaning with lots of negative memories, including being yelled at and stuff like that. this being said, he struggles a lot with cleaning up his own space and gets very easily offended if you even imply that himself or his space is dirty. Sirius also struggles with self care and bodily upkeep for similar reasons, even if its just basic things like combing his hair or brushing his teeth. he gets those tasks done, but he doesn't enjoy them and it's very draining for him
wears a lot of jewelry because he likes to fidget with it, and is a dedicated believer in wearing only gold. he's always afraid that he'll accidentally burn Remus if he's wearing silver jewelry, so he makes a point to only wear gold or copper or something similar
pierced his own ears, and also got his nipples pierced at a muggle piercing studio just to piss his parents off- even though they never found out
exclusively wears mismatched socks for no reason
is very gender nonconforming and is also probably genderfluid, he doesn't really care how he's perceived if that makes sense but feels more feminine and more masculine at different days or times
complains about little things but keeps bigger issues to himself. like Sirius will complain for an hour straight about how sore his back is from quidditch until everyone is begging him to shut up, and then turn around and neglect to tell anyone that his mom cooked him in a stew and fed him to a goblin or something (until he eventually breaks down about it)
gets angry really quickly and hates himself for it
wore a fake nose ring for years before actually getting it pierced
lowkey thinks bullying someone is a flirting tactic and when he's into someone he's a little mean and teasing towards them
Remus:
cant eat strong flavors in the morning such as fruits or sugary cereals bc it makes him uncomfortable or nauseous. only sticks to bland breakfast foods like eggs or toast when he first wakes up, but will eat more flavorful food later on
a tiny bit scared of the dark but won't admit it. he always keeps a nightlight nearby though
Remus gets bad migraines around the full moon and wears noise canceling headphones to help keep the loud sounds to a minimum
had a lisp and a crossbite at a young age but after a few years of dental work + speech practice its barely noticeable unless he's really upset (but he still has to be consciously aware of his lip movements nooo im not projecting...)
hates constricting clothes, has to be wearing baggy clothes or he feels like he's going insane
surprisingly good listener. he never plays the devils advocate, always gives good advice, and is overall a great person to vent to
can NOT sleep with his closet or bedroom door open it creeps him out sooo bad
this is going to sound a little insane but. in my head he sort of like. kisses with his nose. LET ME EXPLAIN i imagine him w like a slightly crooked nose and so whenever he kisses someone he always sort of? boops noses w them? bc his nose is like relatively big,,? and he just sort of does that??? idk it's just really adorable in my head
also adding onto that- he's a very gentle kisser. cups your face, rubs your back typa guy. definitely doesn't rush in
allergic to shellfish
one of those people who puts their entire soul in their notes app. he has lists, reminders, quotes, random pictures, information, and everything in between in his notes app. Remus is also the only one who can navigate through his notes as there are SO many and any normal person would go insane just from looking at all of it đ
picks at his lips and nails until they bleed or peel
HATES when food touches on his plate- can't stand when food mixes and will often seperate food into little piles but then EATS MULTIPLE TYPES OF FOOD IN THE SAME BITE in an attempt to concoct like the perfect bite. like if he's eating idk chicken cutlets mashed potatoes and peas he can't have any of those touch on his plate or else it's disgusting but then he'll eat a piece of cutlet with mashed potatoes and peas on top in one bite??? idk maybe im projecting but this just seems like sum he'd do
very big on studying. he's smart, but if he doesn't study he absolutely blanks on tests and assignments so he always needs to have stuff memorized- he also takes extra notes for his friends so that they can copy it whenever they need
once he ties his laces on shoes, Remus never unties them and prefers to just shimmy in and out and fight for his life to put them on and take them off
Remus' ears get cold really easily so he wears earmuffs and a scarf often! his cheeks and nose also turn pink when he's cold and it's always very obvious and adorable
while he isn't a big fan of quidditch or sports in general, he truly enjoys supporting his friends and making sure they know that he's there! even if he has no real interest in it, he attends every single one of James' and Sirius' quidditch games
i love the headcanon that he befriends Regulus before any of the other marauders, and that he's in a study group with Reg, Lily, Mary, and Dorcas
Peter:
enjoys muggle comics, and has a HUGE comic book collection! Peter can also name nearly every superhero, and has soooo many comics memorized. like you ask him "what was the original comic in which *insert superhero* appeared" and he'll reply with the full comic title and author
you can't convince me that Peter wasn't a huge flannel person LIKE HE WAS THE TYPE OF KID TO HAVE A DIFFERENT COLORED FLANNEL SHIRT FOR EACH OUTFIT
huge gossip but in a good way. him and the girls all have a little gossip circle, and i looove the headcanon that out of all of the marauders, Peter is the most aware of all of his friends romantic endeavors. whether you ship wolfstar, jegulus, jily, dorlene, or anything else- Peter KNEW before even the people involved knew they liked eachother. always pretends to be surprised when people inform him of stuff like that as though he hadn't already known for two years or sum
i like to think Peter also played quidditch, but did it moreso to have fun with his friends rather than being super into the game. he liked it, but he only did it because his friends did
ridiculously good at chess, and holds that over Sirius' head allllll the time. probably also in his own little chess club or something similar
Peter is smart, but only when he applies himself. most of the time he's fine with being average, so he has decent grades, but certainly nothing outstanding. however, when he tries? he's very intelligent and can excel academically- he just doesn't feel like it
learned to braid Marlenes hair when they were younger, and then taught Sirius how to do it too! he'll also sometimes braid Sirius' hair for him if he's bored and needs something to do with his hands
unlike his friends, Peter isn't very confrontational and prefers to handle conflict with a softer approach. this often makes him take on the role of the peacekeeper in the sense that he communicates between both parties when his friends are fighting. that doesn't mean he can't stand up for himself, he just only does so as a last resort
Peter doesn't laugh, he GIGGLES. genuinely teehees when he's excited about something !!!
he was the one who suggested the name The Marauders, and originally did so as a joke, but then it stuck
very rarely curses, but between being friends with the marauders and such, he probably knows more curse words than the rest of his friends combined and sometimes when he's irritated he starts cursing up a STORM
chronic sweatpants wearer. orefers the material of his clothing over anything else, and if something is uncomfortable he simply won't wear it
i like the headcanon that Peter's queer awakening was actually both Frank Longbottom and Remus, but he didn't know it until years later. for Remus, it wasn't actually a crush, but moreso an "oh he's attractive. yea i'll think about that ltr" kind of moment yk? however, i do think he had a crush on Frank and that was also part of the reason he originally joined the quidditch team
Peter's favorite color would be yellow, and his favorite flowers are sunflowers!!! idk why, he just seems like a yellow kind of guy!!! i also feel like he'd like orange too- overall, he prefers warm colors to cool colors
Peter would listen to Nirvana, you can't tell me otherwise bc he WOULD !!!
he's kind to people regardless of their house. doesn't care if your a hufflepuff or a slytherin, a gryffindor or a ravenclaw, if you're nice, he's nice!! he's also always super sweet to first years who are new to the castle, and helps with giving directions (and telling those who purposely give wrong directions to piss off) for at least the first month of school every year
made friends with a lot of the portraits on the walls, and ended up gaining their favor and getting help with some pranks. i also think that he'd get along with most of the ghosts, and Moaning Myrtle had a crush on him in his third year and it was really awkward because he tried to be nice but she ended up taking it romantically and so she thought they were dating for like two whole weeks (James teased him mercilessly over this)
while Remus always keeps chocolate on him for others, Peter always keeps gummy bears on his person or nearby in case he sees someone upset
YIPPEEE I ACTUALLY WROTE SOMETHING!!!! i will def be doing a pt 2 with the valkyries (marlene mary n lily) and the slytherin skittles (barty evan dorcas regulus n pandora) so!! stay tuned !!!! hope u enjoyed and PLEPSOEELSLPSKSOSKD
PLEASE SEND IN MARAUDERS REQUESTS PLSPSLSPS
#the marauders era#the marauders#marauders era#marauders#marauders x reader#marauders x y/n#marauders fandom#marauders fanfiction#dead gay wizards#dead gay wizards from the 70s#james potter#james potter x reader#sirius black#sirius black x reader#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#peter pettigrew#peter pettigrew x reader#marauders imagine#marauders headcanon#marauders incorrect quotes
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