#my heart is racing and i get so stressed and ANGRY bc of this fucking noise. i hate them i hate them sooooooo much. perish!!!!

[jinkicake]

New Years and I got kazuha brainrot😔 thinking instead of him being tied up and going feral from watching the shogun get hands it’s an enemy to lovers type beat. Like he hates you almost as much as the shogun for no reason like idk what tf I would do to make him hate me but I would be a general annoyance🥰 him chasing me through Inazuma as I keep dodging him and playfully shocking him like a doorknob. He hates electro so much he’s just ready to fight LMFAO only Beidou is cool. He’s so irritated he can’t catch me bc I’m just disappearing and showing up at the most in opportune times 💕singing his name and calling him cute but also he’s weak bc hehe you can’t hurt me. Tying him up and and caressing his face while also reading random ass poetry; just flirting w him to piss him off more “aww you look so angry kazuha🥺 do you hate me that much🥺” but like kazuha is sneaky asf so he’s out of the ropes, like people forget that!! He’s a little shit!! Like he’s very soft and well behaved like albedo BC THEY ARE MASTER MANIPULATORS LIKE THEY ARE SWEET TALKERS!! Kayea is just more overt w it bc he’s also using sex appeal, albedo and kazuha are the dangerous ones like turning up the heat on a frog in water you don’t notice until it’s too late. They sweet talk you into safety and when you finally become defenseless to their true intensions they spring it in you and attack then!! So this mf would grab you out of nowhere while you’re super distracted. “Why don’t I show you how much I hate you”😭 rip bc unhinged hate fuck kazuha is my fav brand actually, him just rearranging your guts like he hates you, pounding you in a mating press like he’s trying to knock you up bc what would be sweeter revenge than forcing the nuisance plaguing his life to continue the kadehara clan🥰 glaring at you and degrading you while your face is twisted in pleasure. Like he accidentally fucks himself stupid too, when he comes down from the high of being that mad he realizes he’s overstimulated and you’re milking him dry but it feels too good to stop now and also he’s not done taking revenge 😔 he needs to go until his body is screaming at him to stop needs to keep shit talking “you hated me so much but here you are begging me to go deeper” this cock mf is good at saving face unfortunately 🙄😒 so he’s cooing like he plans on edging you- he doesn’t his balls would actually explode if he stops moving- “you want me to go deeper? Isn’t that gunna hurt you sweetheart? So desperate for me to ruin you huh?” Pushing his full body weight on you so you can’t move an inch, you just gotta take it idk what to say?? When he shakily let’s your legs drop from is shoulder he watches as all his cum spill out so he takes his fingers and pushed it back in😭”this is your punishment” before passing tf out

I think a kazuha brainrot is the perfect way to enter the new year!

my heart literally started to race at the mention of 'enemies to lovers' FHDSUHDSUHF THIS IS TOO GOOD a mean!kazuha is sooo hawt like why do i want to be his enemy now??? getting into actual fights w him would so stressful and the tension would be SO thick bc he's pinning you down to the ground and cursing your existence and then kissing you in the most selfish way ever... he doesn't understand these feelings himself but he can't listen to you talk anymore so he just- SMOOCH! oh my heart-

also,,, the way you describe him and albedo is so sick like i genuinely think I may bend over backward for him now like.... manipulator!kazuha hmmmm heheheh i need it

yes.... yeah! kazuha going from fucking you dumb to being fucked dumb is so respectable. he's everything i need in a m4n

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SEE NOW WHERE IS THIS IN THE KAZUHA TAGSSSS im tired of him being written as a sweetie (even if he is, my sweet meow meow), i need unhinged!kazuha like idc if its ooc i dont care at all.... it's too good T T i want desperate!messy!kazuha... your brainrots are too good im so jealous of them

[bunnihearted]

it should be legal to stab your neighbors if they are too noisy

[rainywritingsx]

hc: Lucifer, Satan & Beelzebub with a shy s/o

request:... 🥺👉👈Can I please get Obey Me! hcs of Lucifer, Satan, and Beelzebub with a shy s/o? You don’t have to do this one if you don’t want to! 😖

aaaaaaa I’d love to!! I had so much wrong writing this tbh being a little shy myself when it comes to crushes etc so I hope I was able to do well because of that ^^

Reminder that as of right now, requests are closed!

total word count: 1700

Tip jar ^^

I just realised the title looks so weird to people who don’t play obey me lmao i’m not a satanist i swear

Lucifer

we all know Lucifer is a sadist

so

he will basically feed off of making you flustered and even more shy

of course there’s a limit and he’ll know when to stop

and if anyone else makes fun of your shyness he won’t hesitate to teach them a lesson

he won’t push you to do anything you don’t want to do

and whenever you seem to need him, he’s there

you’re being bothered by some demons at school? Lucifer is there

one of the brothers is messing with you *ahem asmo i’m looking at you* ? Hi it’s the avatar of pride to the rescue

he thinks your shyness is adorable

but of course he won’t say it out loud

he’s too prideful for that lolol

also

because of your shyness he’s learned to figure out what you want without telling him

but sometimes he’ll act all smug and specifically want you to say it

he’ll act as if he really doesn’t know

“What do you mean, my love?”

“....”

“I can’t know for sure if you don’t say it.”

“okay okay!! j-just kiss me..”

uwu

but again he will be considerate of your limits

as for PDA, he won’t really do it much because he’s aware it will most likely fluster you

and there’s no need for him to show you’re his

the whole school practically knows you’re Lucifer’s s/o and well,,, they know not to mess with him

if it does happen that someone flirts with you he will state very clearly who you belong to

he might wrap an arm around you protectively but that’s it

in private tho

o o f

you bet there’s cuddles. lots of em

knowing his busy life, Lucifer probably needs moments like that once in a while

but again and i keeeeppp saying it, he won’t do it if he can tell you really really don’t want him to

wait I didn’t even mention how you two got together what-

okay so

Lucifer is not an idiot

while at first he did think it was just your shyness, he did start to notice that your behaviour towards him was rather different compared to his brothers

he thought that maybe it was just because of his position and him being close to Diavolo

but then it just kinda hit him

and well, to say that his heart didn’t race whenever he saw that adorable blush on your face would be a lie

so,,,, he confronts you about it (in private ofc)

will definitely ask you out on a date uwu

he’d pick something which he knows you love so you can ease up a little

but he’ll lowkey also try to make you flustered because it amuses him

but it won’t seem like it

but as you two talk more and more you’ll start to notice when he purposely says or does things to see you react

doesn’t stop you from being embarrassed though

sorry babe

but of course he loves you uwu

also

if there is any problem at school

literally anything from bullies to you being stressed

he will take care of it for you and of you if needed, no but’s accepted

overall he’s just a smug boi who loves you so much

kinda like “yes I get to make fun and tease my s/o but if you dare say a bad thing I’ll kill you” but in a cool and sophisticated way??

I’m just rambling at this point sorry

Satan

Satan finds your shyness endearing to say the least

he doesn’t mind it at all

in fact, it gives him some peace and quiet away from his loud brothers

when he meets you, he becomes kind of curious about you

you’re a human first of all but also your shyness sparks his interest

which is why he would like to hang out with you often

I can’t get the idea of Satan just reading with you in his room in silence out of my head

or, if reading isn’t your thing, he might read to you

idk why that came to mind lolol

he might encourage you to speak up a little at times, but forcing you is something he’d never do

if anyone talks badly to or about you and you don’t say anything about it, Satan will

he might do a little more than talking

also, he will ask if something is okay 100% of the time

but I also feel like at first he won’t initiate things at all

if he wants to hold your hand or kiss you he will wait until you do it

but slowly he will be able to read you (hehe) and even then he will ask if it’s okay just to be sure

but

when someone seems to not know you’re his s/o

he doesn’t get jealous but he does get angry

and you can tell

he’s smiling while talking to whoever bothers you but it’s not a reassuring one tbh

and he might just kiss you out of nowhere if his anger really really gets to him

will definitely apologise for doing it in public

“However, I do not feel sorry that I kissed you like that.”

“S-satan!!”

he’ll chuckle at your flustered state lolol

he loves seeing you blush, or, if you don’t blush, just seeing you all embarrassed

overall he just loves you for who you are and wouldn’t want to change a single thing

he will also enjoy doing things such as taking quiet walks with you (i’m dying over here AaaaAAAhhhH)

as for how the two of you got together,,,

this will probably be after you two have been hanging out for a while

Satan will immediately notice when he starts catching feelings for you

and while he does want to be with you, he’s worried

yes, Satan manages to keep his composure most of the time

but he’s not an idiot, he knows how he can get

and the last thing he wants is to hurt you

that really worries him a lot

but as time passes, he sees that… you’re still there? you don’t leave?

In his moments where he can feel himself transforming into his demon form, he will leave quickly however

and when he comes back he really wants to apologise profusely

but he sees you’re calm

and you aren’t disgusted and terrified

and I feel like that is when he really knows he wants to be with you without a doubt

so just like that, he asks you out

and when you say yes, he will just smile and feel the happiest he’s been in a while

suddenly Satan discovers a big love for romance books

Beelzebub

a real cutiepie

he would think your shyness is so cute!!

but Beel wouldn’t tease you over it at all

at first he’d be worried that somehow he made you scared of him

beel you’re a baby wdym scary

but after you or maybe one of the brothers tell him he’s just shy he will understand

he’ll try to be as careful as he can

I can’t get this one idea out of my head of Beel just pulling you into his chest if you’re in public and it’s getting too much for you

he’s huge so he’d basically cover you completely

and if anyone ever messes with you he will clearly get upset

he may not be as aggressive as Lucifer and Satan but he will still make clear that he did not like what someone has said about you

if you’re too shy to maybe talk to someone or ask something in a store, this cutie will do it for you!

he wants you to be comfortable and he doesn’t mind doing things like that for you

will definitely take you out on dates in restaurants (do those exist in their world idk now they do) and he will order for you!!

at some point he will just have your preferences memorized

as for physical contact, I don’t think Beelzebub needs it in the sense that he’s annoyed with your shyness

he lets you take your time so if you want to hold his hand and do it, you can. If you say you want cuddles, he’s more than happy to hold you

he’ll make sure to make you as comfortable with him as possible in your relationship

noowww as for how you two got together :D

I feel like most conversations would be in the kitchen because 1. that’s most likely where Beel is often and 2. talking about food is super easy for him lolol

so, whether it’s you cooking, baking or him just getting food in the kitchen, you two always end up talking

he will always ask if he can try whatever you’re making, and if it’s something he has never tried before he’ll want it even more!

and who can say no to this precious boy? (can you tell I love beel yet)

but as time progresses, you two also start having conversations that are longer and about other things

to the point where sometimes,,, it seems that Beel just forgets that he came to the kitchen for food and talks to you endlessly

he doesn’t completely lose his appetite

but he does notice it seems less important at times

and that’s where he’s like :o i caught feelings

being the sweet boy he is he decides to just be honest with you

but part of him is also really insecure

I mean, he eats so much and it’s not that he’s worried about his body, but he does feel like his constant hunger takes away his personality

he just doesn’t want to be boring but he’s afraid he might be exactly that

but when he tells you about his feelings and you say you feel the same, he’s happpier than ever!!

will pull you into a big big hug bc he’s  so happy

then sees your face is about to explode so in worry that he hurt you he’ll immediately let go

“Y/n are you okay?”

he’s the sweetest boyfriend you could ask for

fuck i’m so soft Lucifer is my fave i swear

[makeusfreefromthisfandom]

just sending some appreciation and good vibes to my people for the new year <3

kisses from me bc you all hold a very special place in my heart 💝

Also veryyy long post ahead I’m sorry I had to include everyone Aakklaksks 😭😭

@ominous-meme 🖤 sabah! You were my very first mutual on here I hope you know that! I can’t even begin on how excited I got when I found out you were a fellow desi girl and I will always appreciate you being there and advising me! <3 I love our street racing au! talks ! I’m glad I have someone to share ideas with <33

@weebsausage 🖤 dude omg!!! 😭😭😭 pls I literally forgot how we became moots I’m so sorry I have a tiny brain 😪 but I think we literally just messaged each other and started talking about free! ANYWAYS TYSM FOR PUTTING ME ON HXH I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOR THAT WTF ITS LIKE MY FAV ANIME EVER I HAVE BECOME HXH TRASH AJSJSJBS ❤️❤️ but other than that thank you for being a really great friend to me and I hope this year is nothing but good things for you <33

@dokifluffs 🖤 you were also one of my first moots on here! I honestly could not believe when you followed me back bc ur like my biggest inspo! 😭 you’re so precious omg I always look forward talking to you and get excited when I see a notif from you still! I hope the new year treats you well and brings good things in your life! Lots of love from me bae 🥰❤️

@syrenblubs 🖤 ah my most relatable person LOL. Omg syren ur my little bestie on here and I’m so glad we’re mutuals! I love our natsuya talks and OML THE C****** RAID! ALSJJSJSJSJJS AND DESI PARENTS AKSJJSNS. Just thank you for always interacting with me even tho I SUCK at responding 😭❤️❤️❤️ ilyyysmmmmmm

@linak 🖤 baby omg where do I even begin. Back when I had literally no one to talk to on here, you would be the one NEVER failing to send me a gm/gn message! You always bring a stupid smile to my face 😭 I’m so freaking glad that we are friends I literally cannot put into words!! Ty for always listening to me and letting me open up to you ❤️ love you always.

@croctears 🖤 vixxx ahhh!!! I’m so glad we became mutuals on this shitty app! You’re one of the highlights of my day and I love talking to you sm 😫 especially if it’s about Sou 😏😏 keep being amazing bae! Kisses mwuah mwuah 😽😽

@xakusa 🖤 Marty bby! 🥰 literally the only person I��m going to share my man natsu with 🙄 our conversations are always so RANDOM and out of nowhereeeee lollll but we also just go along with it and I love that! You are an angel and this year better be giving you what you deserve! Lots of love from my end 😽😽😽 kissies from me and natsuya <3

@cafelixie 🖤 I will keep saying this and I will never stop. YOU!!! ARE!!! THE!!! ACTUAL!!! DEFINITION!!! OF!!! PRECIOUS!!!! Need I say more? You’ve made my day countless times and I always look forward to seeing you in my messages/inbox!! Baby I freaking love you I really don’t know what else to say 😭❤️

@skippyskeppy 🖤 I will never forget the first time we interacted my Kisumi enthusiast 😙🤝 I love it sm whenever I see you pop into my inbox with a random hc about semi semi or Kisumi, Albert now too! You are an amazing person. A really amazing person. I hope you know that ❤️

@keeijiakaashi 🖤 I remember seeing your little comments under my posts before we became moots and OMGGGG YOU ARE SO CUTE AISJJSJSJS ALSO RIN ENTHUSIAST??? YES PLEASE!!! Tysm for always interacting with me and making yourself known as the ultimate sweetest person on my blog! Ilyyyyy ❤️❤️❤️

@animatedarchives 🖤 we have your fellow love of the kirishimas to thank for us becoming moots! You’re so cute soph omg 😫 I love how we literally have brainrots of the same characters LIKE MR GOJO LEECH SATORU!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD OR PAY RENT!!! Ahh you’re irreplaceable soph! Never fail to make me smile like an idiot <33

@natsuya-enthusiast 🖤 how did we not become moots sooner wtf??? Do yk how alone I felt when I had no one to discuss my obsession of natsu with when I first made this blog 😪 AND THEN I REALIZED U WERE ONE OF MY FIRST FOLLOWERS???? ANYWAYS U ARE THE BIG SIS I NEVER HAD ALWAYS PULLING THROUGH W THAT LIFE ADVICE BAHAHAHA ilysm gaby wtf 😭😡😡😡❤️❤️❤️

@moonlitspring 🖤 do you even realize how happy I got when I realized there was another ACTIVE free! blog 😡😡 ajsjjsjs you are such an amazing writer and PERSON sky!!! You’ve been nothing but the sweetest and I hope we get to interact more this year and share our love of free! together <3

@ayumiko 🖤 laís you are such an angel! I absolutely adore both you and your edits/gifs smmm 🥰 you are so kind and I hope 2021 is also <333

@dalggina 🖤 omg??? YGO bae??? 😤😤 I thought literally everyone had forgotten ab it LOL THEN YOU CAME ALONG ❤️❤️ I’m really glad we interacted precious person! And I hope that you have a great year! ALSO YOU BETTER NOT STRESS YOURSELF OUT TOO MUCH FROM WORK OR IM MANIFESTING MR ATEM TO COME GET YOU 😡

@stormikujo 🖤 omg bby! We haven’t talked in awhile! I hope you are doing well! ❤️❤️❤️ ahhh I’m glad I got you into free otherwise we wouldn’t even have interacted 😫 I love talking to you stormi!! And I hope this year brings great things fro you! Lots of love ❤️❤️❤️

@aj-writes-here 🖤 omg hey girl 😼😼 you’re definitely one of the coolest people I’ve talked to on here for sure! Hope you’ve been enjoying hq and free! Your welcome for putting you on that simp train 😼 anyways, ilysm aj!! I really wish the best for you this year! Stay amazing as you always are, ily!! ❤️❤️

@attackonfics 🖤 wtf 😭😭 I don’t deserve you???? You’ve been nothing but the sweetest to me and also responsible for my unhealthy obsession with mr 5’2 angry gremlin >:(( jkjk but seriously, ty for the food 😌. ANYWAYS QUEEN I HOPE YOUVE BEEN TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF AND TREATING YOURSELF AS!!! YOU!!! SHOULD!!! VIRTUAL HUGS 😽😽 💝

@browsing-my-favourite-fandoms 🖤 Shizen! You are too good for this world! 😭 you are such a genuine person, you deserve nothing but happiness ❤️ I really hope that this year does that for you. I’ll keep checking in from time to time! Ilysm! ❤️

@inum4ki 🖤 sera...please...just invest in a personal guide or smth. Asksksknsjs n e wayzzz seeing you in my inbox is always so much fun! Sousuke really deserves more love and you are bringing it to the table hun 😤😤 also you’re a fellow inumaki enthusiast too??? Yes please. You deserve all the happy things in 2021 <3

@sneezefiction 🖤 Gracie!! I love how easy it is to get along with you! You are truly one of the best people I’ve met on this app and I’ll forever be grateful for our friendship <3 you give off such great vibes all the time omg giving you a huge virtual hug and here’s to more interactions this year! 🥰😽😽😽

@velvetfireworks 🖤 bbyyy!! 🥰 everytime we interact even if it’s not a whole lot, you’re always the sweetest what 😭 I love you and you’re writing so much omggg you are so talented!! I get super excited when I see myself get tagged in one of your stuff 😆 I hope we get to interact more in the future! Have a great New Years ❤️❤️❤️

@a8mine 🖤 stop being so mean to me 😡😡 !!!!!! ig ily anyways tho 🙄 you’re energy is honestly unmatched (in a good way!!) and it’s rare to meet people like that! You’re so funny omg and your random hcs and cursed discourses always have me dying 😭😭 you’re so cool hanna ily 😪✌️ <333

@giorvanna 🖤 ahh rena! Your blog and edits are *chefs kiss* I love our random semi brainrot sessions 🥰🥰 I hope we interact more in the future but in the meantime I’m sending you good vibes and lots of virtual hugs bc you deserve them queen ❤️❤️❤️

@seijohlogy 🖤 hey hey jaestar 🤩🤩 you are such a cool person??? Omg I’m so glad that we’re friends and randomly invade each other’s inboxes 😆 you are so kind! This year better be kind to you too or else 😡😡 I hope that after Ms rona decides to move her ass over, you get to go to Disneyland and take!! Me!!! With!! You!! Love you jae bae ❤️❤️

@prettysetterbaby 🖤 hey sexc 🤩🤩 no idea why you followed me but glad you did bc you are such a sweet and chaotic person!! I loveeeeee <333 I hope we get to interact more bc you are just genuinely such a fun person to interact with! Ilyyy

@datecho 🖤 yet another just genuinely sweet person! The world doesn’t deserve you! You’re so fun to interact with and a hottie??? omg shoto and kags better get off their asses rn and come get you or I will 🤩🤩 ly bae! have a great New Years! ❤️❤️

@miyasangel 🖤 we haven’t interacted much yet but ahaha talking about suna and sending my fanart to you is sm fun! Did I tell you that I also have a wip of Atsumu as a street racer? 😏 have a great year Arden bae! Kisses 😽

@aikk00 🖤 hi hi! We don’t interact on a daily or anything but when we do, omg!!! You are the most easy person to get along with 😭 you have such a good heart along with the talent???omg??? You are UNMATCHED babe! I hope this year brings you many more opportunities! Stay amazing love ❤️ ily and your art very much ❤️ I’m also still very embarrassed from fucking up the credits from last time. I’m so sorry bae 😭❤️❤️

@kurooskult 🖤 ma’am you might as well be the definition of bad bitch 😪🤝 ok but besides that, interacting with you is sm fun??? Like we don’t even have to be moots on your blog to feel just as included and loved! You are such a queen for that! Here’s to more mila x kuroo content in 2021 and he better be doing special for you as he should !!

It’s still the 31st here but THANK YOU ALL FOR MAKING MY COUPLE OF MONTHS ON HERE BEARABLE!!! This sounds like a goodbye post Oml-

I love you all very much. I suck at words, but I hope you know that. ❤️

[newhologram]

I know only a few of you are on IG so I wanted to give an update here on the past few days. I am doing this knowing the potential risk but I need to also record where I'm at right now in case anything weird happens.

My week has been like this so far. Sunday: Family Member 1 misplaced their Xbox controller. They kept asking me if I knew where it was, each time growing more and more aggressive. I don't have an Xbox, I reminded them. I have my own controller for my PC. But they kept knocking loudly on my door. They followed me outside where I was vaping and tried to accuse me of I don't even know what. Pawning off their controller? FM1 said, "Is there something going on that you're not telling me? SOMEONE'S messing with me!" Later that night they and their gf were making dinner. FM1 suddenly knocked harshly on my door and said aggressively, "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE OVEN MITTS" in an angry voice. I was already stressed from them harassing me earlier about the controller. I came out of my room, heart racing, and told them I had not used them that day. I helped find the mitts, which had fallen behind the trash can because the hanging hook had broken. I went to bed on edge, feeling unsafe and targeted, wondering why my family member was suddenly acting so paranoid and accusing me of misplacing their things... Something they actually have done to me my whole life, denying it until the moment my item is found, when they suddenly remember they did move it there (or accidentally throw it out/destroy it). The controller ended up being some random place in the living room. Monday: I went to leave for my acupuncture appointment. My booster seat/pillow thing was missing from my car. Not in the trunk or anything. I cannot drive without it. I'm too short to see over the steering wheel. I called FM1 and they have no idea where it could be, despite the fact that they drive my car every day. FM1's gf helped find it, in the garage. But I still had an epic fucking meltdown, sobbing the whole way to and from my appointment. I just cannot handle people moving my shit and disrupting my schedule like that. And it just hurt so much more knowing that FM1 was so awful to me the day before about their stuff being misplaced. I'm always having my personal belongings, my feelings, my personhood, disrespected. It hurts deeply. When I got home I stressed to them that this is my car, and my accommodation should not ever be removed from it under any circumstances. It was after this that I decided it was time to hold a family meeting. I called Family Member 2 and 3 over to the house. I read a long letter to them in which I told them about the talks I have had with my therapist, psychiatrist, and another psychologist. Even though I cannot be formally assessed and diagnosed at this time, I am being treated for autism. I detailed to my family my entire life of trauma that is traced back directly to my autistic traits, and my needs not only not being met, but being outright denied. I was denied empathy most of my life for my sensory issues, my pain, everything. A big part of this is gaslighting. Even if it's unintentional or not malicious, gaslighting is incredibly traumatic. Especially when it comes to my sensory issues. I have had even more problems with overstimulation the past year which means I can barely sleep, so my daily naps are even more important. I try to coordinate my naps when there is less activity in my house. But if I'm in a ton of pain and extra sensitive and ask for quiet, that's when I get in trouble and a fight happens. That's when FM1 tells me I "need to be realistic" and "can't expect the whole world to shut up for you"... when I'm literally saying "I have a migraine and need to rest, can you please not play loud music or slam cupboards in the kitchen for a few hours?"

I was emotionally neglected and abused by both parents. A lot of it is just the result of their own trauma that they have not dealt with... But I have also been physically threatened and assaulted by them at different times, though it only happened those specific times. (They won't ever admit to it though.) The emotional and mental abuse still goes on in my home. I am not allowed to have emotions. I have been told "STOP. WHY ARE YOU CRYING. LIFE'S NOT FAIR. WHEN YOU GET OUT IN THE REAL WORLD YOU'LL HAVE SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT" over and over--like... in response to me crying about my pet dying, or in response to me crying bc I'm in horrible pain from my chronic illnesses, or crying after my usual yearly ER visit. I am also not allowed to have boundaries. I have tried to communicate with FM1 that these things hurt me deeply. And their response is basically, "YOU'RE SO UNGRATEFUL. I PUT A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD!" and threats such as "BETWEEN TAKING CARE OF YOU AND GRANMDA, ONE OF THESE DAYS I'M GOING TO DRIVE OFF AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN!" or "I'M THE ONE WHO SHOULD KILL MYSELF BECAUSE I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU"-- y'know, in response to having a disabled child. Ouch. The message is clear: I am nothing but an inconvenience and a burden to my family. I still have nightmares about them abandoning me, or abusing me more. I think in their heads they think that they love me. But this isn't love. If I try to talk to them about how dangerous it is for them to say things like that to me, they say "I never said/did that." Which brings us back to the gaslighting: I said that every time they gaslight me and tell me that my emotions/thoughts/experiences aren't real, it triggers me so badly that I self-harm and become suicidal.

I was very clear with them: I said that I can no longer have that in my life because one day it will kill me. I don't wanna die that way. I want to live. I have very bad PTSD and it's something I have worked on for 8 years but it has been worse the past year with so many disruptions and FM1's worsening narcissistic traits. I gave the choice to them. I said if they gaslighted me again that they were making the decision to not be in my life. Because this is about preserving my life. I'm trying not to die here. I'm literally trying to save my own life, even if that means not having a relationship with my family. They accept that I am autistic... But they then took turns gaslighting me. When I pointed out, "that's gaslighting. that's exactly what I just said in my letter. What you're doing is gaslighting" they went even harder on it. They said my experience and my trauma is "not in line with reality". They also said I "need to be reasonable" with the boundary that I'm setting (meaning: they don't believe in boundaries at all). They tried to guilt trip me with, "you can't cut someone out of your life because what if they DIE and then you FEEL GUILTY??" (I mean, what if I killed myself because you keep hurting me? Wouldn't you feel guilty about that?) They also guilt tripped me with "well we TRY to invite you to family stuff, and we try to include you, but you never want to go..." um... I guess they forgot I am chronically ill? Sorry if I don't have the energy or pain tolerance to drive an hour each way to a loud family party after I've worked all week? I cried and cried, I said this is exactly what I told you that you do to me and how it endangers my life... and you're doing it... while telling me you don't do it to me... They were all weird and told me "we love you and would do anything for you!" except... I guess, not gaslight me constantly? Idk. I felt so trapped. I felt so hopeless. I was up all night crying. I wondered, "Why is the idea of me having distance from them somehow worse than me being dead? Why would they prefer that I die rather than set a boundary that will save me?" And then I remembered: I had set the terms. They broke them. You do this, you're out of my life, because me being alive is more important than us having a relationship which will eventually kill me. I'm not trapped. It doesn't matter if they think they can prevent me from setting this boundary because they can't. I'm in charge of my boundary. So I blocked them on social media, as well as their phones. I have to unfortunately keep FM1 unblocked bc I live with them, they drive my car, and they look after my cats while I am at work. If I didn't have so many great things happening behind the scenes, if I didn't have my cats, if I didn't have amazing friends and followers who are supportive and kind... I can definitely see that I would have ended my life that night in some alternate timeline. That is how much pain I was in from them doing that to me. Them literally trying to gaslight me into not setting a boundary. I mean it would've been so ridiculous on their part, can you imagine? Me: Hey family, when you gaslight me, it makes me suicidal. I don't want to die, so either you stop doing that, or we can't have a relationship. Family: UHH NO *gaslights me anyway* Me: ok *kills self* Family: *surprised Pikachu face* Like???? Would they really have been shocked because it seems like they should have known since I told them directly? And that just shows that they really don't take my pain seriously at all. They think I'm overly sensitive and that my trauma is not real. That would have been a painful wake up call for them. I told my therapist all of this. And she agrees that this is good, this is going to not only ween them off of me but also allow me to focus on all the good stuff I have going on. I have to get moving. So much stuff has been lagging because I'm constantly recovering from them triggering me. I'm going to focus, and heal, and gtfo of here. Thank you for your support and for never invalidating my pain.

[saedii-gilwraeth-simp]

This post but I just wanted to do it all with BillyxArsinoe

Who is the most affectionate?

Both are super duper affectionate but Billy takes the cake. Whenever he feels like it, he’ll just hug and kiss her and, according to his mother, it’s very inappropriate.

Big spoon/Little spoon?

They kind of switch depending on who needs it more. So, both have really bad days in terms of depression/PTSD and just need the comfort of being held

Most common argument?

Which of their chickens is the best. Both have taken sides and every now and then they just throw the fuck down over it. Jane gets popcorn and watches just to throw in commnets that escalate the argument.

Favourite non-sexual activity?

They like to go the races. It’s just a nice and exciting date for them where they can feel young and wild.

Who is most likely to carry the other?

Billy. Sorry but in my head he’s jacked.

What is their favourite feature of their partner’s?

Billy loves Arsinoe’s scars because they are proof of how far she will go to help and protect the people she loves - which is something they share. Arsinoe likes Billy’s hands because they’re so gentle and she knows that she’s safe in them.

What’s the first thing that changes when they realise they have feelings for the other?

Both of them are very “oh shit” about it but because neither wants to give away how they feel, they just are more touchy with each other in a way that is only vaguely platonic

Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?

Obviously, Billy is and will always be “junior” but every now and then Arsinoe will call him “darling” bc she thinks his reaction is nice - he’ll look confused and then smile really wide. Billy usually just uses Arsinoe’s name or “sin” but if he’s tired, he’ll call her babe.

Who worries the most?

Honestly, probably Arsinoe. Billy has to work in different places a lot and she can’t go with him all the time, so she stresses.

Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

Arsinoe. Simply because Billy always gets the same thing but she changes her mind every time so Billy never gets the chance to memorise

Who tops?

It just depends on how they feel, so it’s a pretty 50/50 split.

Who initiates kisses?

Arsinoe. 

Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

The reach at the same time

Who kisses the hardest?

Arsinoe

Who wakes up first?

Usually Billy, but he doesn’t get out of bed, he kind of just stays and watches Arsinoe sleep because she doesn’t look that peaceful when she’s awake.

Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

Arsinoe, but only if she’s getting cuddles. She’ll get out of bed on time if Billy’s not there.

Who says I love you first?

Billy

Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?)

Usually Arsinoe because she thinks they’re cute and she doesn’t work (bc the patriarchy) so she doesn’t need to pack lunch. Usually they’re just terrible puns but on anniversaries they’re heart felt I Love You notes

Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?

Billy because Arsinoe doesn’t have any family that doesn’t already know

What do their family/friends think of their relationship?

Everyone on Arsinoe’s side are big fans because they adore Billy. The Chatworth’s/Mainland friends are iffy but will let it go because Billy and Arsinoe make each other so happy

Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?

Billy but Arsinoe’s a better dancer 

Who cooks more/who is better at cooking?

Both of them have been banned from the kitchen at least twelve times so neither

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

Oh God both of them and it’s horrific to watch

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

Both of them to the point where Mrs. Chatworth has stopped inviting them out to the theatre bc they just giggle all throughout whatever performance is happening

Who needs more assurance?

Arsinoe. She has a lot of moments of doubt and guilt over the civil war, making Jules queen, her use of low magic etc. so it helps when Billy’s there to boost her up

What would be their theme song?

Fred Astaire by Jukebox The Ghost (which is a banger btw)

Who would sing to their child back to sleep?

Arsinoe because she’s an amazing singer

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Neither of them sleep very well, but Billy mostly works and Arsinoe reads or sews herself new outfits

one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

The only sad one I can think of is too cruel to inflict on y’all so I’m skipping this one

one headcanon about this OTP that mends it

Arsinoe builds the chicken coop and makes Mrs. Chatworth big mad with her overalls. Billy really really likes the overalls ;)

Billy buys Arsinoe a racing horse that she takes out for a ride every day and lets Jules compete with it whenever she’s staying on the Mainland

They have a few children and get to raise their children in households full of love and absent of the judgement or big expectations they were raised with

They agreed when they got married that they shouldn’t go to bed angry so they always talk it out no matter how long into the night they might be arguing

On weekends they always stay in bed late and they go out to a beach house every summer for holidays

They hang out in the mansion’s library and usually Billy will fall asleep on Arsinoe while she reads a book being held above his head

Both cry when they get married (they were doing great until the vows and then it was all over)

[moneymingyu]

[cw: talks of death, drinking]

Mingyu has this faint memory of a boy with dark, shaggy hair running around at the park him and his father used to go to. He would always be wearing his backpack, obvious to everyone that he came straight here after school, and would be chasing butterflies or catching ladybugs.

On one of the days where Mingyu’s dad would throw the ball a little too far to teach the boy how to jump up and catch, it rolled away and landed in front of a pair of scuffed sketchers.

“Hey, sorry!” Mingyu remembers saying, cheeks red from chasing the ball down. His father is standing a distance away behind him, one hand shielding his eyes from the sun and the other on his hip.

“S’accident,” the other mutters shyly, bending down to pick up the baseball.

Mingyu loved to make friends as a child which is why the next thing out of his mouth is “I’m Mingyu! Kim Mingyu!” The other boy’s front tooth is missing and he remembers that because he peaks his tongue peaks out through the gap.

He cocks his head to the side, a sly smile creeping across his cheeks. “Names Jungkook, Jeon Jungkook! But my sister is only four and she doesn’t know how to say it so she calls me Kookie.”

“My dad calls me Gyu,” Mingyu laughed. “He only calls me Mingyu is when I’m in trouble.”

“Well Gyu,” Jungkook hands him back the ball. “You must be joining the little league, huh?”

“Little league?” Mingyu raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah!” Jungkook’s eyes were wide with excitment. “My brother has this kid in his class named Ten—like the number—and he asked Wonwoo hyung if he wanted to play but he’d rather stay inside so he told me to come play with the kids my age but I dunno how to play since my dad’s always busy and hyung hates sports since he’s kinda lazy and slow like a sloth and—“

“You talk a lot,” Mingyu smiled. He liked that. His dad always called him a motor mouth because he could talk his ear off and at five, he thought it’d be fun to have someone to keep up with him. “Wanna come play with me and my dad?”

“Uh, duh!” Jungkook jumped up, racing Mingyu to the older man, who had resided under the oak tree with a bottle of water.

From that Friday on, Jungkook would play baseball with Mingyu and his dad. They later joined the little league baseball team together (though that only lasted one season before Mingyu decided soccer was more of his thing).

Now, every time Mingyu comes back to this park, he can’t help but think of Jeon Jungkook, the boy with kind eyes and a bright smile.

-

Mingyu still has fond memories of Jungkook whenever he comes to this park. Though, they’re a bit fuzzy around the edges, he stil finds himself laughing at all of their mishaps and hiccups that took place on this grass. And every time he looks at Pumpkin, he cant help but see his face.

“And then Jungkook hit a home run and Yugyeom and I smashed cupcakes in his face to celebrate,” Mingyu whispers to the girl who sits a distance away from him.

Her face is blank, eyes unreadable. Mingyu scans the bags under her eyes and the way her brows have furrowed and thinks “When did Hobag get the chance to grow up?”

He still remembers when she was a kid. When she’d come to all of Jungkook’s baseball games and hearing her scream for “Kookie” or ask “Nu” to take her to buy some snacks at the concessions stands. He still remembers her being a freshman in high school and how she and Seungkwan would trail after him and Wonwoo with whispered secrets and wild ideas for the four of them to partake in.

He still remembers the last day he saw her. The day that he was too coward to say goodbye to her and Wonwoo and left on the train earlier than they knew. He remembers the ignored calls and texts and how they soon fizzled out to every day to every couple of days to once a week until they finally stopped.

He doesn’t deserve this.

“The other night,” she whispers as if she could read Mingyu’s mind, “I had a dream.” She runs her finger over the polaroid. Mingyu realizes then that this is the first time she’s seen Jungkook’s face since she was 12. How cruel is this life? “In the dream, I hit a home run. The following day,” she flashes the picture in Mingyu’s direction, “you find this.”

It’s a sign, Mingyu knows that’s what she’s thinking.

“I’m not going to ask you why you left the way you did. It’s been five years and I spent way too much time stressing over it — especially since you welcomed Seungkwan with open arms. That dream...had to be mean something.” She runs her fingers through her hair and shakes her head. “It had to be a sign from Jungkook.”

“Hobag,” Mingyu whispers as he sees the tears spring from her eyes. “I am so sorry—“

“I told you,” she wipes her tears away a bit too harshly with her sleeve. “I don’t want to hear it.” Mingyu frowns and nods, leaning back onto the oak tree. “I don’t forgive you for what you did, Mingyu. I don’t forgive you for hurting my brother,” she shakes her head. “But...before I went to bed that night, I asked Jungkook to send me a sign on what I should do next.” Her eyes rake over the picture once more before she says, “And I guess that means to let you back in.”

“You don’t have to,” Mingyu whispers. “I fucked up, Hobag. I didn’t know what I was thinking and I’m sorry but—“

“I told you I don’t want to hear it,” the younger groans.

“But I am,” he says.

“Mingyu,” she breathes, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. “Have you learned nothing? Life is too short to be angry.”

Mingyu feels dizzy at her words.

That night. The last words between Jungkook and Wonwoo. The fire.

“I’ll be here now,” Mingyu tells her. “I promise.” He finally crosses the boundaries and pulls her into a hug, her tears finally flowing freely.

“I miss him,” she hiccups into his chest.

“Me too,” Mingyu frowns. “I miss them both. So much.”

They stay like that until all of their cheeks are dry and Mingyu wipes away the last tear. He smiles sadly at her, chuckling when he remembers just how much of a crier she was when they were younger.

“If someone told me last week I’d be doing this again, I would’ve laughed in their face,” Mingyu says as he swipes his sleeve under her eyes one last time.

“I would’ve passed out,” she snorts.

Mingyu leans back onto the oak tree again and sighs. It’s chilly outside and it’s dark out. “Isn’t Wonwoo going to look for you?” he asks.

“Seungcheol is over right now. They’re making amends,” she explains.

“Seungcheol?” Mingyu’s eyes are closed now, listening to the wind as it whistles past him.

“He’s one of Wonwoo’s best friends. Seungcheol had a fall out with their third friend Jeonghan and it made Wonwoo upset. Last I checked, they were cuddling so,” she shrugs even though Mingyu can’t see.

“Jeonghan?” he opens his eyes. “Is that the guy you were with in town?”

She furrows her brows, looking at him with confusion before she remembers the day he’s referring to. “So I did see you then!” He shrugs and closes his eyes again. “Gyu, you were here this entire time and you didn’t even tell Seungkwan?”

“I needed some time to think,” he says simply. “Is Jeonghan your boyfriend?”

“What?” she sputters. “What makes you— EW! You think I’m dating Yoon Jeonghan?”

“Oh?” Mingyu smirks as he realizes he’s successfully changed the subject. “Then maybe it’s Vernon? Woozi said he writes a bunch of songs about you.”

“Mingyu!” she smacks his arm. “I’m leaving. I almost forgot how annoying you were.”

She stands to her feet and brushes off blades of grass, ready to stomp off when Mingyu stops her again with the sound of his voice.

“The lanterns,” he says. She turns to him just as he stands. “Are you still making three?”

“Just because you weren’t here doesn’t mean we won’t make your dad a lantern,” she crosses her arms.

Mingyu isn’t surprised. Well, maybe that’s because he’s had a couple of days to simmer into the fact that they still visit his late father’s grave. But, it still makes him smile — even if he feels sad inside.

The lanterns started on the first anniversary of Jungkook’s death.

Jungkook had always been in love with the stars and could name thirty constellations before he could do long division. Because of this, the Jeon family would make lanterns and send them off on his anniversary. When Mingyu became a part of their friend group, he and Seungkwan would each make one for his dad and send it off with them.

“Do you think—“

“I’ll talk to Wonwoo,” she cuts him off. “But you have to remember that this time of year is super hard for him, Gyu.”

He nods. It’s totally understandable. If your best friend just up and left you without a word— “Did you just call me Gyu?”

“That’s your name, isn’t it?” she says, turning on her heel.

“You only call me Gyu whenever you’re not mad at me,” he says. Pumpkin doesn’t turn around this time. Instead, she keeps walking until he comes to his senses. “Wait! Hobag! I’ll give you a ride! Dammit, slow down! I can’t believe it’s been five years and we’re still having this argument! You can’t go home by yourself you could get robbed—“

And she keeps walking, feeling at ease for the first time in a very long time.

Chapter Ten: Not Enough

Summary: If home is where the heart is, then the hearts of Kim Mingyu and the Jeon siblings must lie within the stars. Maybe that’s why the always feel so out of place. Maybe that’s why Mingyu left town and never turned back. Maybe that’s why the Jeon siblings can’t leave this town. Maybe this time, the stars will align and things might start actually making sense.

prev (chp 9) | next (chp 11)

master list

a/n: junhao should have their own spin off bc skskks.

a/n 2: what drama do you guys want to see first?

a/n 3: i have final exams next week so i might be slow to update! please bare with me for the time being!!!

[retro-rezz-the-est]

Drabble idea (I already know I sent ya one); Halloween dinner with the Demon King and reader is wearing something quite revealing and Balor can't keep his eyes off of her. 😘

I’m combining this one with @gold–gucciempress and her request​ bc I had a great idea for both of them! :D Here you go, loves!

(this is her’s btw: Okay so for my Halloween drabble… Can I have demon Finn flirting with and seducing a witch? Like he tells her he likes the taste of her magic or some freaky shit? Idk just surprise me lol 😅)

(A/N: I kinda got carried away with this one lmao)

You and the Demon King had a… difficult relationship, to say the least.

You wouldn’t say that you were dating because that would be completely false, as the relationship between the King and a trusted member of his court would cause a hysteria amongst everyone else and would make gossip fly like the swarms of insects that lay in the dungeons.

You weren’t exactly “friends-with-benefits” either, since you didn’t really see him as a friend. More of a colleague, of sorts.

A colleague who would rail the ever loving shit out of you at any given moment of the day whenever neither of you were busy.

The two of you had been seeing each other for a number of months, you originally coming to his kingdom because of his need of a new witch after the last one had tried to kill him by pouring a poison into his wine. He knew of your work from various others as you were a wanderer, never staying within the same area for more than a few weeks.

But, when the Demon King himself calls you in and offers you work, you accept.

Over time, the two of you grew “close”, in a way. He found you attractive, and you vice versa. He needed something (or rather, someone) that would let him get out the stress of being King, and you were looking for any form of intimacy. He offered you a “no-strings-attached” relationship, you accepted, and that was that.

The two of you agreed that whenever one of you was stressed out or angry or whatever else, you would find the other person. You would find them, wait until they were alone, and then fuck them. Plain and simple, right?

Wrong, because Balor kept on coming to you…a lot.

Like, “numerous times in a day for a quickie” a lot.

He would have you ride him on his throne once he finished with meetings with his council for the day, and then call you to his room at the end of the day to tie you up to his headboard and proceed to throw your back out before sending you on your way again.

This continued for months and months on end and as the two of you grew closer together, you knew you could feel something between you two. There was a spark growing and you wanted to see it alight, but you needed him to see it too.

You remember him leaving a note under your door one night telling you to meet him in his chambers. He had wanted to talk. He never wanted to do that before that day, so you figured it was important. You were expecting him to declare his undying love for you and sink down onto one knee to make you his queen, like in one of the erotic novels you’ve been reading in the castle library.

What you weren’t expecting was for him to suddenly end your “relationship”, claiming that it had nothing to do with you but with more personal matters at hand. But, you couldn’t hear him over the sound of your own heart breaking into a million partnerless fragments.

You entered his room that night hopeful and you had left defeated, drained and mostly angry. How dare he end things like that?! Because of personal matters?!

Bullshit!

You couldn’t even question him because he was the King, so you just sulked back to your room broken, reprimanding yourself for even thinking that you even had a chance at claiming the King’s heart. What had you done? Was it truly you that was the deciding factor in your relationship? But nothing more could be done.

The two of you scrapped your arrangement and moved on with your lives, however changed they may be now.

                                                      ~~~~~~

A year had passed since that fateful night and this time, the day had fallen on the night of the King’s annual Halloween dinner. Members of his court and numerous guests from neighboring and allied kingdoms flooded his large dining room and mingled with each other, dressed to the nines and waiting for the King himself to finally make his presence known.

And what’s a good King for if he doesn’t make an entrance everywhere he goes?

Smoke began to pour from the bottom to the main entrance and the twin doors blasted open, bits and pieces from the pumpkins that lay there flying out into the crowd. In Balor stepped, dressed in a deep red suit with a black button down and blood red tie, his crown glinting in the candlelight.

The room immediately went silent and he slowly began to walk through the mass of people and to the large dining table in front of him, glancing around the room at those who were in attendance.

You also happened to be in the room, lingering near the back in your floor length black dress with a decent sized part lingering in the middle of your chest. Going over some spells about a potion you needed to make for a court member to yourself, you stuck to the back for a reason; he had no reason to look at you, to admire your figure when he stood on your heart and broke it all those months ago.

You had a plan, and it sure as hell failed.

He spotted you immediately, swiveling his head around to meet your spaced out gaze and smirking. You jumped and your heart raced. How could he…out of literally everyone here? That prick!

You could feel your face burning with anger as he turned away and continued walking, a trail of people following behind as you lingered back with death in your eyes. Soon enough, everyone was seated at the long table with Finn at the head of it like the bastard King that he was.

The dinner progressed and every few minutes (more like every minute), you would catch Balor giving you bedroom eyes from your seat near the head of the table. He would be talking to a court member one second and then go back to glancing at you from above the rim of his wine glass so quickly that it nearly gave you whiplash a few times.

He loved to tease you at the table, constantly licking his lips seductively as his eyes roamed down your body to your cleavage and then back up. Grinning as those dark eyes of his clouded with a lust that wanted to make him pounce on you then and there…

But all you gave him was a few dirty looks and a sneer, and went back to minding your own goddamn business.

He didn’t deserve my time then, he doesn’t deserve it now.

The dinner proceeded as such for the remainder of the night, this battle of wills until the remainder of the night’s guests had finished their meals and moved on to the ballroom to continue the party. You let out a breath of relief, as you were finally alone and able to vent out your frustrations to the nearest object.

You rose from your seat and moved over to the balcony, walking across its dark marble platform to its railing to see the stars better. A quick mumbling of a spell by you had your fingers glowing bright yellow and you held them out towards the sky as small fireworks shot from your fingertips, small bats and jack-o’-lanterns and spiders forming from the bright lights.

This was it; this is what you needed to finally take your mind off of him again. This is what you needed to do, get a little you-time in before heading back insi-

“Well, well, well? And who do we have here, loiterin’ on my property?”

Speak of the damn devil himself.

You remained silent, determined that that would make him go away and flee to his little hole like the rat he was.

“Oh, so you’re not talkin’ to me now, is that it? Did I do somethin’ to ya, sweetheart? Or rather…someone?”

“The only thing that you did was come out here and waste my time,” you snapped, whipping your head to the side and lowering your hands to grip the balcony’s railing. “Now, please leave me alone.”

“Aww, don’t be such a hardass, darlin’. I was only checkin’ in on ya.”

He moved with the swiftness of the wind, and you didn’t even hear his shoes move until he was right next to your ear. “I could check on ya even more, if ya want…”

You raised a hand and summoned a light blue flame from your palm, holding it up and away from you and towards him. “Move.”

He refused to listen and instead wrapped an arm around your waist, his hand warm against your cool skin. He waved his free hand around in a circle and your flame disappeared, leaving you defenseless.

“I never wanted to start a fight with ya, (Y/n). I just wanted to see you.”

“See me?” you scoffed, pushing away from him. “Last I recall, you were perfectly fine “seeing me” from across the damn dinner table and eye-fucking me senseless.”

He started chuckling and honestly, you were seeing red again at this point. “I don’t fucking want you anywhere near me, Balor. We’re done seeing each other, remember? You ended that shit a year ago and we went our separate ways.”

Rolling his eyes, he unbuttoned his suit jacket as you turned your back to him, looking up at the moonless night sky. You knew he was right behind you; you could feel the power behind his aura and his hands running up the sides of your dress. You froze, not knowing what to do. Do you fight him off and have his advances continue or do you leave his hands where they are, feeling your exposed skin and giving you a touch you starved yourself of for almost a year?

He decided for you and spun you around, pinning you to the balcony railing and looking at you with those dark eyes of his. They were swimming with their usual lust and anger and power, but there was something else this time…something different…

One of his hands moved from your waist and to your cheek and internally, you were deciding whether to be mad at him for coming up to you and just touching you like this or to thank him for finally coming back to you. His thumb ran across your jaw and over your trembling bottom lip, and he leaned in for a kiss that stole the breath from you.

He nibbled on your bottom lip and sucked it into his mouth, slipping his tongue into your own. You moaned, the railing behind you beginning to bend from how hard you were gripping it.

Oh, fuck me.

He pulled away first, leaving you dazed and confused as to what the hell just happened.

“Damn, I missed the taste of your magic on your tongue, darlin’.”

He was panting slightly, his brogue deep and rich and filled with lust and the darkness you were oh so familiar with after spending so many months hearing in your ear as he wrecked you to hell and back…

You just had to go in for another to make sure and you did, gripping the lapels of his jacket and dragging him back in for a rough and dominating kiss, embracing the old feelings that were washing over you on that Halloween, even if it was only for one night.

[orbitariums]

I have a request: Peter Parker finding out his gf (y/n) is an avenger? Maybe he doesn't realize until a certain fight? Thank you, and I hope you are having a great day! - first ask anon (I guess I'll just call myself that 🤣🤣)

hi !! yes welcome back first ask anon and thank you so much for this request i’ve had the loveliest time writing it (s/o to my friend emily for helping me w/ some details bc i’m still new to marvel). hope you enjoy!! heads up this is like super long for a tumblr one shot *at least i think so*, if you guys request me stuff be prepared for it to be longgg!

disclaimer: fighting scenes are not my strength, especially for a marvel character!!! hope the plot makes up for it. also i pretty much just made up a villain and a fight. + switches between she/you when peter is first seeing the reader. ++ inspired by teen titans and kill la kill! contains: slight language + violence of course. hope u love it!

                             violet blast and spiderman (pt. i)

     Spiderman was good. This guy was better.

     Terrified bystanders and entrapped citizens watched in the crowded street as Peter tried desperately to simultaneously protect the woman he’d saved and fight off the bad guy. But doing both at once was wearing him out and his mind couldn’t help but keep going back to the fact that he had made no progress with his math project back at home because he kept delaying it to adhere to the role of friendly neighborhood Spiderman.

Plus he had a date with you later that weekend that he was stressing about because he wanted everything to go perfectly. But he kept up, and kept up with his banter all the while, just barely dodging the bad guy’s grotesque metal fist as he rolled underneath him and tried to shoot a web at him from behind and flip him over.

     “You know, you really should invest all this energy into being less of an asshole!” Peter yelled out, rolling to his side to avoid being smashed again.

     This guy was like the Hulk, except he had the robotic, armored qualities of Iron Man, if Iron Man looked like a giant made out of concrete with glaring red eyes and a deformed metal hand that was not doing Peter any favors.

     “Concrete Man!” the beast roared, swiveling around to face Peter who looked like an ant from where he was standing.

     “Really, Concrete Man, that’s your name? Yeah, Iron Man called, he wants his trademark ba-” Peter’s voice got carried away as he found himself getting swooped up by “Concrete Man”, his body slowly getting crushed in his metallic grasp.

     Peter’s breath became shallow as he tried to escape, looking down at the people below him who were now crowding closer, screaming in terror. He tried to find the woman in the crowd, at least to tell her to run away to safety now that Concrete Man was distracted, but he only caught a glimpse of her, and she was staring up in transfixed terror as well.

     “Shit!” Peter exclaimed, growing panicky.

     He tried to outstretch his arms in the hopes to web this guy’s face and get it in his eyes so he’d at least let go of Peter, but to no avail. Peter let out a panicked gasp but calmed down when he realized he could still stretch out his feet against Concrete Man’s body, and so he pressed his feet against his bulky build and pushed off, extending his arms over Concrete Man’s hand so he could flip off.

     He knew that when he did he’d be awaiting a hard pummel to the ground, but he did so anyway, flying through the air momentarily before finding his landing midair and sticking it. He tried to maintain his heavy breaths as he continued to fight against Concrete Man, sticking out his hand in the attempts to catch his legs in a spiral and make him fall to the ground, and then go off from there. 

     But before the web could even shoot, he was shoved aside by another figure, a girl about the same height as him, a little taller even.

     “Move Peter,” you said hostilely, shoving him aside and standing your ground in front of him.

     Peter had to do a double take to make sure he was seeing correctly, and to make sure he had heard correctly as well. Whoever this was had said his name, so that meant she knew who he was somehow. But he had never seen her before in his life, so who could it be? His heart was racing with fear, and anxiety, and his head was pounding with fear, add in the way he was still practically hyperventilating from escaping Concrete-Man’s strong hold and the adrenaline rush.

     The girl had an interesting uniform (a mix of Starfire, Raven and Senketsu)- a navy blue crop top with mid-length sleeves, and a purple stem miniskirt held up by black suspenders, along with thigh high violet boots, and her whole uniform had all types of gadgets and buttons all over it. She also had on a dark blue cloak with a hood that masked her face so he couldn’t see her, but he was still in awe. In other words, she was kind of hot- if extremely powerful- and Peter couldn’t help but notice that.

     But he snapped out of it when he realized what was actually happening, and when he saw that you had propelled yourself up into the air to fight this guy off yourself. He wanted to complain that this was his fight, even though he was losing terribly, but couldn’t when he saw that you had blasted this villain guy in the face with blinding blasts of ultraviolet radiation. The concrete on his face crumbled slightly and he roared in anger, swooping his hand to try and grab you up, while you were floating in the air.

     He roared again when he missed as you dodged his clenching fist with ease, lurching forward and sending passerby into a panic as the ground shook beneath them.

     “Foolish girl! You dare to challenge me, your worst nightmare?”

     “Not much of a challenge,” you retorted, and Peter laughed, then shut himself up when he realized he should probably be doing something, but he didn’t know what.

     “You look like a schoolgirl in that redundant uniform!” yelled out Concrete Man out of spite. “Get back to class!”

You paused midair, just sort of bouncing in the air, but now your eyes were glowing green and you felt energy activating inside of you that you knew would be deadly for Concrete Man, and extremely riling for you.

     “Aw,” you crossed your arms, your voice eerily monotonous. “You made me angry. Good luck in advance.”

     Concrete Man started to laugh, but before he could even get out a good bellow, you darted forward, feet first, and rammed yourself into his face, nailing him so hard he practically stumbled, your superhuman strength and berserker state granting you immunity to the aftermath of the blow and even greater strength. 

     The people below gasped and stumbled back, and some people started to run. Meanwhile, you were launching great green blasts of energy from out of the palm of your hands and into the villain’s face, blinding him and making him even more vulnerable as he groaned in pain at the heat of the power surges you were sending out.

Peter just looked up, his voice shaky because he was intimidated by you now, and choked out,

     “U-um, d-do you need any help? Sh… should I be doing anything right now? I’m really confused, woah-”

     “No! Shut up and get that woman to safety!” you yelled, only because you were angry and he was distracting you.

     He did exactly that and ran over to the lady who Concrete Man had been attacking previously to get her to safety, and practically managing the crowds of people running by and trying to escape. You, on the other hand, were this much closer to defeating Concrete Man. 

     With blast after blast you had practically rendered him powerless, and he was staggering back, about to fall hard onto the ground. As Peter watched, he realized your maneuvers and techniques - the way you were hot headed and fast on your feet, just hitting him with move after move - reminded him an awful lot of someone… someone he was incredibly close to, but in his haze he couldn’t think of who.

     “EVERYBODY MOVE BACK!” you yelled out to the few people who were standing underneath where Concrete Man was going to fall.

     Everyone ran and when he finally fell, tumbling and crashing to the hard ground, you zoomed down, your eyes still gleaming a flashing green, and hovered above his disintegrating face, mocking him,

     “Who the fuck is a little schoolgirl now!”

     He bellowed and tried to get back up, but you were already harnessing your energy between your two hands, pressing the right wrist over the left wrist in a clamping maneuver and muttering,

     “Get back to class,” before blasting an explosion of radiation at him that made him cry out in agony as he melted into the ground, just a puddle of wet cement like he had been before.

     The people that remained cheered raucously and you came back down to the ground, a few feet ahead of Peter who had watched the whole thing go down in awe. You couldn’t help but smile, back to your normal state after releasing all of that energy, and bow just for even more effect.

     You swerved around to face Peter now, remembering the mistake you had made in calling him by his name. You had meant to tell him sooner or later, but in your anger at seeing him get so mishandled by this wannabe Ironman you had slipped up and soon the cat would be out of the bag. You knew your boyfriend could be a bit of a ditz sometimes, despite his pure genius, so you figured he hadn’t yet put two and two together.

     “Who are you?” Peter was first to talk, his face a mix of horror and confusion.

You breathed out loudly, catching your breath,

     “Follow me.”

     Reluctantly, he did, and you led him to a quiet alley where no one else was, and this just so happened to be the alley where he left his backpack and changed into his Spiderman uniform everyday. Something was definitely up.

     You looked around to make sure the coast was clear, and when you had decided it was safe, you got awfully quiet and looked him in the eyes, though he still couldn’t decipher the face because you were masked.

     “Peter, it’s me,” you said solemnly, your face and voice hopeful that you wouldn’t be angry.

     It was like a lightbulb, no, a fuse, lit up and exploded over his head. He almost took a step back, he was so shocked, and everything started to come together. He started getting eight by ten glossies of his life, but just the moments he shared it with you, and all the weird things about you he had brushed off. 

     Like for example, your insane flexibility despite you proving to him multiple times you hadn’t set foot in a gymnasium for gymnastics since you were a kid, your excuses for leaving suddenly out of nowhere, your off days where you seemed to be supernatural when angry. It all made sense now.

     “YN?” his already high voice cracked as he squeaked out your name, and you smiled apprehensively, hoping he wasn’t mad.

     “Um… hi?”

     “I don’t believe it. I do, but… wh- how does this even happen… you knew I was Spiderman all this time? And- and you, who… who even are you! If you’re a villain we have to break up… you’re not a villain are you? Please don’t be, I love you. I-I mean, that’s a strong word, could be scary, but you’re scary so I don’t want to get you upset by saying that if you’re not ready. Are you ready? Am I talking too fast, I feel like I’m talking really fast. Okay, woah, I’m a little light-headed, I’m gonna sit down.”

     He sat up against the wall and you chuckled, standing in front of him- the boots really added height and you practically towered over him- on top of that he was sitting down. You thought it was cute that he found you scary, hell, you thought he was cute - he on the other hand was intimidated by your even further enhanced beauty (because you were already beautiful to him but now even more so) and power. He was also trying very hard to look anywhere but at you, or at least at your face, because he had never noticed how absolutely ripped you were, more than him maybe.

     “Peter, calm down.” You removed your mask and cloak and he cleared his throat a bit too loudly, now that he could see your face. Then he started to choke and you made a disgruntled face as you glared down at him.

     “Sorry,” he held his hand out to excuse himself but continued coughing.

     “Look, I can’t tell you anything if you’re gonna be freaking out the entire time.”

          “Okay… okay, just… explain.”

     And you did- you explained how you were the most recent Avenger and how Natasha Romanoff had taken you under her wing for training, and how you had even visited other realms like Azarath and Tamaran to receive training from the former Teen Titans. You told him how this was really very recent and how you were going to tell him at some point, you just had to find the right time. He was planning on telling you too, at some point, since your relationship was getting quite serious.

     You explained that you hadn’t meant to call him Peter, but that you were just distracted and annoyed, and already angry, since Peter was getting hurt and you felt like you hadn’t gotten there soon enough to help out. And you explained how you wanted nothing more than for the two of you to remain the way you were relationship wise, and not to let this new knowledge about you or each other betray what you had. 

     But you emphasized that sometimes your job was more important than him and he totally understood that - you were the kind of headstrong girl who, even if hot-headed, had a good head on her shoulders and a strong belief in yourself. You wouldn’t let anyone, even Peter, your first love, come between that.

     “Wow…” Peter said, following your lengthy conversation. “So you’ve been an Avenger all this time?”

     “Like I said, I only gained Avenger status recently. Before that I was kind of like you… just more, y’know, lowkey I guess, since you didn’t know who I was… or who Violet Blast (your superhero name) was until now.”

     “Yeah… no kidding,” Peter panted. “You look really nice in your uniform by the way.”

You side-eyed him but winked playfully, 

     “You too if I were into the whole tights thing.”

     He made a face, irritated but satisfied- you were the same old smart mouthed you, even as an Avenger. You were sitting next to each other, still in the alley, and you hopped onto your feet again, pulling Peter up from the ground too. He winced at how hard you had grasped his hand- superhuman strength things- and couldn’t hide it before you noticed. You giggled,

     “Oops.”

     “Ha,” he laughed limply, because he was still a bit afraid of you.

     “Ok. I left my bag somewhere here…” you trailed off, starting to swivel around to try and find it.

Peter spotted it and dashed a web out towards it, pulling it towards you,

     “Got it!”

     You smiled and picked it up,

     “Aww. My boyfriend’s a little spiderbaby.”

     “Er- I’m a spiderman,” Peter corrected, folding his arms.

     “Yeah?” you teased him, rolling your eyes. You started to change back into your regular clothes, but Peter made a noise and asked,

     “Whaaat ya doin’?”

You made a face, bringing your brows together,

     “Changing…?”

He cleared his throat, feeling quite awkward now since it was very obvious, but his mind had gone somewhere it shouldn’t have, in his dazed mix,

     “We… yeah, I knew that. Just- you weren’t gonna give me a warning?”

You raised your brow even higher,

     “Peter, I’m your girlfriend.”

He squeaked out and started to complain,

     “Look, I’m really overwhelmed right now, with all this new information, so could you ju-”

     “Fine, turn around,” you griped, but you couldn’t help but laugh at him.

When you were done you waited for him to change too, but he just stared at you.

     “You want me to turn around,” you said, more of a statement than a question, and he nodded shyly.

When the two of you were finally in your regular clothes, though you were by no means regular at all, you carried on out of the alleyway as if you were. When you got out on the other side, you laced your hand through his, careful not to squeeze too hard,

     “And by the way, I do love you… too.”

Although this brought a boyish smile to his face and made him laugh joyously in that cute way of his, he was still a little confused,

     “What?”

You let go of his hand slightly, hoping he hadn’t just been rambling inattentively when he said that to you earlier, and already fearing losing him,

     “Just… you said, back there, when we… I don’t know, I thought you said you loved me. Back there.”

Your voice got low and your head hung and your insecurity was showing. But Peter’s face remained lit up, as he squeezed your hand to reassure you, bringing your hands back closer together,

     “Oh I know! I just wanted to make sure I was hearing you properly YN.”

You rolled your eyes and glanced over at him, basking in this moment- it didn’t seem real, but it was. The two of you, literal superheroes, together in what seemed to be life’s most fun and magical twist yet, not just the fact that you even had these abilities. And you were just two teenagers walking along the streets of Queens. And you shared your first I love yous. You couldn’t help but laugh and smile.

     “Sure, Spidey,” you smirked.

ahh ok i hope you and everyone else who read that liked it!! should i make a part two where they’re just figuring out how to act normally in school + when they’re around each other and stuff, and maybe more of them fighting together!! lmk <3 thanks so much for requesting first ask anon <3

[https-bkg]

Bakudeku fics to read during quarantine

I would appreciate if you reblogged/liked this if you used it! Please 🥺

Uncompleted:

The Way You Used To Do by edema_ruh

"We're really sorry," his father says, in a teary-eyed, wobbly way. "But your friend, Izuku, he's... He's gone, son."

Katsuki can do nothing but blink up at them for moments that feel like an eternity, eyes darting between both his parents in obvious confusion, disbelief, and, more than anything, indignation.

"What the fuck are you two talking about? The damn nerd is standing right beside you!

During a battle, Midoriya gets hit by a villain whose quirk detaches his soul from his body. Stuck in a ghost-like state, the boy enters a race against time in order to save himself from permanently dying. Much to his luck - or lack of it -, the only person who can see and talk to him in this state is no one other than Kacchan.

Alternatively: Deku and Kacchan are soulbound.

This fic is my all time favorite bakudeku fic. updates are not too far in between, characterization is PERFECT, bakugou's development, and the LENGTH of this fic is genuinely supreme. I will 100000000% say with my whole heart that this fic is perfect.

Bad At Love by officiallytrash

(abandoned)

Class 1-A is put to the test in one of U.A.'s classes and tests where they face a faux-villain they can't seem to win against. During the two-day fighting, Bakugou noticeably becomes more and more shaken by the faux-villain.

Midoriya wants to help him and to become his good friend once again. Bakugou knows there is more than friendship in his own head but wants to keep Midoriya close, if only to keep him safe. But with jealousy, friendships, and their dreams on the line, they have to get even closer to help the other.

been awhile since I read this since it hasn't updated BUT this fic is amazing with it's characterization. It's realistic and a breath of fresh air.

The Art of Indifference by qye

Bakugou is used to being the center of attention- be it anger, confussion, or fear (mostly fear) everyone always gives him a reaction.

Until all the sudden, Deku doesn't.

What a fucking asshole.

FUNNY!! ANGSTY!! AMAZING. CUTE. IM IN LOVE, AND YOU WILL BE TOO.

The Space Between by Kanae_vR

Holding his expensive camera tightly between his hands, Midoriya Izuku looked up at the once-white letters displayed on the black storefront banner. “The Hard Luck Bar,” he murmured to himself, unsure if he was getting ready to enter or flee.

Amateur photographer Midoriya Izuku is stuck in a rut and desperate for a change of pace. Deep in his city's grimy underbelly, he finds exactly what he's looking for in the form of an underground punk sensation on the verge of their big break, fronted by a foul-mouthed firework of a human being.

Loud, brash and passionate, Izuku may have just found the creative spark he needed, as well as something new to set his soul ablaze.

Craving a rocker!Bakugou fic? Badabing, badaboom. This right here is perfect. In character and beautiful.

the baking prodigy in all-might pajamas by lucyheartfilia

College AU in where angry art major Bakugou Katsuki kind of, sort of falls in love with a cute, green-haired nerd that likes to bake in his all-might pjs at questionable hours of the night.

cutecutecutecutecutecuteCUTE.

Once Again From Better Days by limesicle

Katsuki wakes to find himself reset. It's a time when quirks are just starting, and he only remembers a bit about happened the first time. He remembers enough to know Deku is someone he hurt a lot. He remembers enough to know he had to watch Deku fall. He remembers enough to try to make things better this time.

Achingly beautiful,,, ANGSTY,, in character. Amazing.

Completed

Sink to Swim by cinnabee

“Kacchan, I think we’re supposed to--”

“Supposed to?” Katsuki whirled. “Supposed to? Will you fucking.. Listen to yourself? Shitty Deku, we just woke up in a dungeon and you want to play some villain’s game? Like it’s a goddamn puzzle we can just solve?”

~

As if there's any other choice.

WARNING: dark. very dark. ANGSTY. shit made me sweat. even tho it's dark the beauty of it cannot be missed

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You by Seeress

Stress-release sex was another one of their things. Friends with benefits, it was called. No strings attached. Just a bit (or a lot) of fun under the sheets.

By the time Katsuki noticed, it's been almost 3 months since he last heard from Izuku.

Or

Three years into their friends-with-benefits arrangement, Izuku begins to behave oddly. And Katsuki has difficulty dealing with it.

:/ too sad. heartbreaking. so beautiful.

Kacchan by KyuukaKoinu

Izuku always called Bakugou "Kacchan" growing up. But when peer pressure from others and society get in the way, the two boys grow distant and the nickname is buried. While Katsuki is running away from his emotions, Izuku is stuck trying to figure out how to cope with a broken heart. Kai Chisaki steps in to show the boy a new path. Will Katsuki figure out his own feelings in enough time to save him from the mysterious man?

[Izuku-centric / BakuDeku EndGame / Alt Overdeku ending is the very last chapter!]

Aight listen,, I ain't one for fics with a lot of smut.. but this plot was well-written and very interesting. It grabbed me and didn't let go.

Threads of Fate by hallyu1

It started with a dream—a dream about a prince. Izuku, future Chief of a remote tribe, is a dream-seer. And as he grows he will come to realize that his power is both a gift and a curse. When he meets the prince in his visions—The Dragon King, Bakugou—he must decide which path to follow. Change the future, or embrace the fate he had foreseen?

Will always hold this fic close to my heart. It's gorgeous.

2,645 Miles by mynameis152

Izuku wants so badly to get to the other side of the country without his parents realizing he's missing. He just wants to find out who he is.

Katsuki is desperate to make it to Los Angeles without being caught by the police, desperate to fix his mistakes.

Neither know what to expect, but on a roadtrip across the U.S. involving four fugitives, two oblivious runaways, a high risk crime ring, and a police taskforce, the two will discover that there's more in store for them than what they originally thought.

Who knew country bakugou and country kirishima were so powerful??? I did. I knew this bc of this fic. This fic is genuinely awesome. Definition of awesome.

Dream Sweet in Sea Major by showtiime

The day of the Hero Incident ends much more horribly than anyone could've imagined, but only Izuku knows that. He thinks as long as he forces himself to push through it that he can get over it, but of course, that's not how things go. His mom, friends, teachers, and even his childhood friend-turned-rival take note of his odd behavior and try to help, but he refuses to talk about what really happened. How long and how thin will Bakugou's patience go until Izuku finally confides and accepts the help he needs?

(in this fic, Shigaraki takes more from Izuku than he should've, Katsuki comes with the class that day at the mall, and there are still finals to be taken. Plenty can happen in only five to six weeks.)

Look at the WARNINGS! The way this story is written... I've never been in his situation but I felt it. Absolutely beautiful

Spider’s Web by infectedscrew

When a series of seemingly random attacks all over Musutafu leave civilians and heroes alike Quirkless, Inspector Midoriya is put on the case. Little does he know, he’ll be teaming up with the only person who has come out of an attack unscathed and Quirk intact—Katsuki Bakugo.

One of the first bkdk fics I've ever read and I haven't seen many people rec this so—here you go. It's SOOO good. It's like a movie and it's so well written. Absolute genius.

Leftovers by brichibi

When the rest of the class heads down the reality of the situation sets in — they’re both missing class at the best hero academy in the country, their classmates flat out calling their scuffle stupid.

Izuku still doesn’t feel like it was, though, especially when Uraraka asks the million dollar question:

“Did you two make up?”

That. That’s why that fight felt like it was worth it, even if, technically, Izuku can’t answer her. Have they made up? Is this making up?

He actually doesn’t know.

[Or: the house arrest fic where it is, somehow, more awkward to talk through feelings than it is to fight]

AMAZING AND SOSOSO CUTE. So glad I found this fic after thinking of it for so long. It's the perfectest oneshot ever.

[artificialqueens]

trainwreck (Branjie) chapter 1 - PinkGrapefruit

Chapter 1. she knows she’s got me wrapped around her fingers with a glance

A/N - Hey! So I’ve written a lesbian multi-chapter whats up. This is a fake dating AU and should have about 3 chapters. Special thanks to @freykitten for being the best beta and finally learning how to use google docs and also to @artificialcherubi for being my UK pal and fourth eye. I use terrible Spanish at one point, I’ve been learning it five years and i’d still like to apologise, aside from that - As usual, all characters are my own interpretation and therefore completely fictional, Enjoy!

*

Brooke dances like a fish in the ocean. Like the salt spray is coating her as she dives through the surface and back onto the stage. She is lithe and lean and feels the music as if she is conducting it herself. Every turn she makes, every rise is calculated perfectly in time to the melodic hum of classical music that flows through the auditorium. It is a Saturday in June and the air is warm like barbecues yet the powerful air conditioning lets a cool undercurrent flow around the dancers’ feet as she jumps and jetěs.

Vanessa wonders how she got so lucky as to be watching Brooke perform. Standing on the sidelines, just close enough to the stage that she can still see the judges react whilst being safely hidden in the wings. She is utterly in awe. It is competition season and it flows through her veins hot, like liquid courage as she absorbs the confidence Brooke has and hopes to throw it back out onto the floor in six numbers time. It is her first nationals. She is unsure of how she can compete with what she’s watching.

As soon as it began, the show is over and Brooke steps off the stage with a sigh of relief and a smile. She unties her pointe shoes with languid arm motions, letting the muscles relax after two-and-a-half minutes of stress. The silk falls away from her easily and soon she is barefoot, nursing a large blister that her toe pads neglected to prevent and catching the gaze of a short, dark-haired girl five feet away. Despite her staring, the girl has not yet noticed Brookes’  attention focused on her, hands rubbing each other in a frenzied panic as she shifts from foot to foot. She turns as she shifts, allowing Brooke to read the paper tacked to the back of her leotard, ‘115, Vanessa Mateo’. She decides this is a sign from the universe that she should be more sociable.

“Vanessa,” calls Brooke from her position on the floor. As she hears her voice echo in the wings she notices how Canadian she sounds among the bevvy of American accents she’s been surrounded with. Since moving to Florida a little over 3 years ago her accent had weakened significantly, but every competition she attends always brings it back with a vengeance. Seemingly reacquainted with reality, the girl’s head snaps up at the sound of her name. Her features are small but bright and Brooke imagines that in any other scenario, they would radiate confidence - it just appears to be lost under the competition lipstick and false eyelashes.

As Brooke changes into more comfortable shoes, worn out black pumps covered in ballet chalk - Vanessa makes her way over, body shaking a little either from nerves or redbull. She supposes it could be both. “Hi, I just wanted to say you were great and I’m almost nervous to compete against-” She trails off as she reaches her, Brooke watching her like a predator watches its prey, like she’s the one holding the cards. Vanessa looks at her, studying the minutia of her face before taking a deep breath and trying to regain the composure she ruled her everyday life with. “I’m Vanessa,” she states, confidence flowing through her movements effortlessly as she holds out her hand. Brooke, being the Canadian stereotype she is, takes it with a tilt of the head. It’s not that she’d never met a polite Floridian before, but she’d never met a Floridian so willing to shake hands. “I know. I’m Brooke,” she replies heartily, chuckling as she does so. “You were great, Brooke” the girl repeats, with less bravado this time, testing the name out on her tongue. “Fucking beautiful to watch.”

Brooke blushes, focuses on the way her shoelaces fall on her ankles in perfect curves, the colour combination of the black on her pink tights. She notices the way Vanessa’s toenails are painted red, which she imagines to be the colour of her soul, and decides she must be a contemporary dancer because her feet aren’t nearly damaged enough for ballet and all the jazz dancers she knows wear shoes. She lets that train of thought take her as far as it will go, carrying her back to the conversation at hand. “Thank you,” she whispers like a prayer because a gorgeous stranger has told her that her dancing was beautiful, that maybe she is beautiful, and she doesn’t know what else to do. She believes that it’s gay panic, she should know by now.

She is snapped out of this by an angry Latina waving a pair of matte black dance shoes in the air and cursing in Spanish.

“VANESSA ISABELLA VANJIE MATEO,” she shouts, voice as loud as thunder but about as threatening as a stuffed animal. “¿GILIPUERTAS, NO TE CRIÉ BIEN?”. Accompanied by some thorough hand gestures and angry furrowing of eyebrows, the whole situation had Vanessa looking like she wanted to cry as, what she assumes to be her mother, hands off her shoes with quiet words. She sits beside Brooke as she slips them on, hands back to shaking as she struggles with the thin laces. With a sudden rush of care for the girl, Brooke gently nudges her hands out of the way and ties them for her, searching for the words to address the situation. She comes up blank.

As she finishes, she notices that Vanessa and her mom have started talking in hushed voices. From her knowledge of French, Brooke can pick out some words, although she is unsure of whether she is intruding in a private conversation. She is about to get up and leave when Vanessa grabs her arm and, as boldly as she can muster, declares “I can’t ‘cause I’m dating Brooke.”

The look she gets before she can even reply is both grateful and apologetic as the shorter girl moves in front of her. From behind, Brooke can really appreciate the height difference. When she’d been sat down, she assumed she’d be a little taller, maybe two or three inches at most, but standing up, she realises it’s at least a head. She finds herself unsure of what she should do with her arms as one is commandeered by the Latina who is again talking in angry Spanish to an equally emotional older woman. She laces their fingers, allows the smaller palm to fit neatly within her own curling around the soft skin. The speaking becomes softer, turns back into English and as she looks up, she meets the mothers’ eyes. “How would you feel about Sunday dinner, Brooke?” asks the woman, all calm words and easy smiles now. Brooke is startled, confused and, to be fair, a little scared by the question. It is all she can do to nod along and when Vanessa’s number gets called, she is kissed on the cheek and left to her own devices as her mother follows her step in the direction of the stage.

Once they are both far away enough, she grazes a hand over her cheek to feel the greasy lipstick mark that was left behind. Her cheeks are warm and she imagines the rest of her body is in a similar state because she is so unreasonably confused by the whole affair, the last ten minutes feel like a blur of sandalwood perfume and Spanish.

She leaves her bag in the wings and moves to the auditorium to watch Vanessa dance; the movements are fluid and fiery and she is certainly a jazz dancer because  Brooke doubts that her body could move slow enough to convey all the hidden meanings of a lyrical piece. She finds that she is fine with sitting there and watching the dark-haired dancer lay it all out on the floor - ballet may be beautiful, but this is heart racing, head spinning gorgeous.

*

It is hours later, when Brooke is still confused and Vanessa still a little flustered, that the two find each other again. Vanessa placed third in the senior solos with Brooke finishing a happy first place, ecstatic about her win but perhaps a little regretful that she beat out the Latina for the top spot. Vanessa seeks her out in the changing rooms, hurries a small card into her hand and a chaste kiss onto her cheek, for the sake of her mother watching them, before she leaves. As she thumbs the card over in her hand, Brooke notices the graphic words on the other side:

(813)-445-1988

text me beautiful, V xx

She can feel the confidence burnt into the card, imagines a smirk, similar to the one she held watching Brooke win. With the little self-control she still has, she promises herself to wait and text Vanessa when she gets home. Unaware, her mom just smiles at her daughters’ smile when she clambers into the back of the car.

*

Brooke: hey, its brooke

Brooke: from dance

Vanessa: hey beautiful

Brooke: i’m confused

Vanessa: of course u are

Vanessa: look, im sorry but i panicked. i told my mom we’re dating to stop her from tryin to set me up with this ballet dude

Vanessa: just play along and come to sunday dinner

Brooke: fine, but it’s not that easy

Vanessa: thank you

Vanessa: wdum

Brooke: we’ve got to have a plan, for questions

Vanessa: we’ve been dating for three months, met at the firefly comp a few months back cos u were watching, first kiss on the first date, amusement park blah blah u get it

Vanessa: wear something hot (but not too hot bc grandparents)

Brooke: just text me your address

Vanessa: googlemaps.png

Vanessa: thanks again, ur a life saver

Brooke: it’s fine, you better make it up to me though.

Vanessa: see you sunday babe :)

*

Brooke smiles into her sweater, allows her feelings to bubble in her like a hot air balloon. She thinks she’d like to watch the sunrise accompanied by those red-painted lips whose owner she can’t seem to get out of her head - wonders if that could happen one day. Sunday better come quickly.

[fitmydaydream]

Apologies

Part 1/ Part 2 / Part 3

Prompt: The one where Y/N decides to give surprise to a stressed Shawn in studio but things don't quite turn out well.

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: Thanks for giving this a read. I appreciate each one of you. I say sorry if this sucks lmao bc I'm still an amateur. Feedback is always appreciated. Happy reading :)🌸

Making music isn't that easy as someone thinks it to be. Whichever song it is, it always has a lot of efforts, several sleepless nights and anxieties behind it which can never be seen. The worries of the song not hitting the exact right note you think of eats up your mind. Constant tugging at your hair, biting your nails out of stress, several mental breakdowns and waves of lack of self-confidence hits you making you unsure of everything.

This is what Shawn has been experiencing since the past three months. He was working on a new album which he expected to be the best one till now. It was in the process with 8 songs already prepared and 4 more to go which were taking a longer time than the previous ones and it was making a nervous wreck out of him. He wasn't sure where this was leading to and was really anxious about the album.

On the other hand, he was also not realising how distant he was being from you in the process. Your conversations have started to get shortened from day to day and the time you both used to spend together can be counted easily on fingers in minutes. This being another reason that was bothering Shawn. And you as well.

You started to observe Shawn getting so self absorbed to the fact that he sometimes didn't hear a word you say or purposely act like he unheard whatever you said. He sometimes forgot to eat or wake up just in the middle of the night and walk down to his personalized studio at your house. This was not bothering you for the first few months but now it was totally getting you.

But you, however, decided to stay calm about it anyway as you know what it feels like to have a deadline. Being an office manager yourself, you had a proper idea about how Shawn must be feeling. The stress eats you up slowly until you get the work done before you meet its deadline. You were surprisingly quite understanding about this issue.

xx

Today you took an off from work since you wanted to give yourself a break. These past days you have been dealing with so much workload that you were feeling exhausted. Constant traveling and dealing with clients had made your legs and mouth sore.

Also, today was another one of those mornings in the past few months when you woke up to an empty bed and an empty house which meant Shawn left for the studio early without telling you, again.

Being used to this, you climbed out of the bed and decided to give yourself a good bath. You spent a good hour in your bathtub with some relaxing music and scented candles. You were pretty happy today and expected the day to go well. *whoops*

After having your breakfast, you settled on your couch to watch some Netflix and have a relaxing time. You checked your phone in between the scenes for any messages from Shawn but all in vain. You were wrong about even recieving a good morning text from your busy boyfriend. You sighed and shrugged it off.

After watching several hours of television, you felt the need to do something exciting and thought upon giving a surprise visit to Shawn.

You knew how stressed and distant he has been lately so why not. You planned that you would pick up his favourite food from Taco Bell and drop the food at his table, have a short conversation and leave him to his work.

So you put on your blue distressed boyfriend jeans, a black tank top which said "Bloom" and your black vans. You styled your hair in a half-bun half-down way and left the house with the car keys, a jacket and your purse.

You inserted the car keys, started the ignition and drove off to Taco Bell to grab the food for Shawn.

The drive to Taco Bell was meant to be a short one. You put on some music and hummed along to it while rolling the windows down. It was a pretty weather with the sun not shining that bright.

After about 20 mins you reached Taco Bell and ordered a soft Chicken Taco with some Nachos and Chilly fries. You picked up the order after about 5 minutes of waiting and drove off to the studio where Shawn was.

You parked your car and stepped in the studio. It was quieter than the usual times you've been here. After walking inside, you met with Brian and Andrew who asked you how you were doing followed by an exchange of smile. You were greeted with some assistants giving you some narrow eyed looks who have always been jealous of you being Shawn's girlfriend but you were now used to them.

You reached Shawn's room. You viewed your stressed yet beautiful boyfriend through the glass outlet of the door and smiled to yourself. He looked so pretty, with his brown curls all messed up with some of them falling on his forehead while his hands were in his hair, pulling on some strands of hair out of frustration. You wanted to let all his frustration and pain go so bad.

Your heart was racing thinking upon how he would react on seeing you here. Would he be happy? Would he be sad? Most of all, would he be angry? You shook off the thought from your mind, gulped and opened the door.

At first he didn't notice you because he was too engrossed in his work. He was scribbling something down with his headphones on. You didn't intend to disturb him in the midst of this so you just went behind his back and stood there and waited until he was done.

You watched him like he was an artwork. The way his beautiful brown eyes were so focused upon the sheet of paper in front of him. You missed him. You missed his touch. You missed how those eyes holding so much love in them, used to look at you. You missed how he used to peck your lips and gave the lame excuse that he forgot the last time he kissed them.

You didn't know how long you've been standing there looking at him but it but it has been about 10 minutes. You saw Shawn putting down the pencil he had and take off his headphones.

So you took the chance to let him know of your unexpected presence and wrapped your arms around his neck lovingly. Taking in the smell of the shampoo he washed his hair with last night.

Shawn was taken aback. He wasn't expecting you to be there. Not when he was in the studio in the middle of the process of making music. His forehead turned into a frown and he somehow felt angry. Felt angry at your casual presence in his workplace even though you've been there before a multiple times.

He pushed your hands off of him and turned around to look at you. You were a bit shock at the sudden aggressiveness but decided to put up a smile anyway. You thought he must be shocked to see you. In a good way. But you were wrong.

"Surprise baby!" you said in a low tone and stepped forward to hug Shawn. Shawn was quick to step back. You were now confused at his reaction. Didn't know what he was upto. You searched his face and there it was. The eyes that once used to shine at your sudden presence were now dark. Angry. In rage. And disappointment. You somehow you started to get a bit scared of him.

Shawn shook his head and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He then grabbed your hand aggressively, with quite a tight grip and lead you out of the room.

Once you were out of the room, he left your hand and asked you through gritted teeth "What are you doing here?". You were in shock by his sudden change of behaviour. This was not the person you recognised to be your lover. "God dammit Y/N! I fucking asked you something. Answer me would you?!" he said with his voice a bit higher than before. You flinched at his words.

"I-I meant to give you a surprise visit babe. Brought food for y-you" you stammered.

"And who bloody told you do that? Huh? Don't you know that I'm in my studio making music. Still in the process Y/N!" Shawn spoke to you in dark and loud voice that you've never heard off. Brian, Andrew and some of the assistants came running through the hall to see what was all this chaos about.

"You think you can walk in here whenever you want don't you? Being my girlfriend gives you every privilege to do what you want huh Y/N? This is such a careless attitude of yours! You're not a fucking queen. Snap out of your dream!"

Tears threatening to spill from your eyes as you were now preventing yourself from crying in front of the staff.

"Shawn stop it. I'm sorry okay. I'll go. Just don't yell please. If I knew you'd get this bothered, I would've never walked in here. I-I just wanted to make you happy." you said in a voice barely above a whisper. You were now avoiding yourself to look Shawn in the eye.

"Hey hey! Calm down brother. She was just here to check on you and give you your foo-" Brian said but Shawn was quick to interrupt.

"Oh fuck off Brian! This is between Y/N & me. You stay out of this." Shawn spat.

You nodded to tell Brian it's okay.

"And you Y/N. Do you think you can help me like you always think you do? Being the perfect person that you are huh? You managing your company well doesn't mean that you can manage me too Y/N! For fuck's sake get over yourself! You can't make everything right okay. All by yourself. Let other people do there work without your bloody magic!" Shawn was literally throwing words at your face like knives.

Your heart was breaking more and more with every word that was coming out of his mouth. Tears now streaming down your cheeks.

Andrew placed a hand over Shawn's shoulder to calm him down but he pushed his hand off.

"Oh right! Good. Now you'll cry and start with your little drama Y/N! Won't you? You're so wonderful. You're so perfect. Nobody can tell me otherwise or else I will cry. But guess what? I fucking said it. You always have to make everything about yourself don't you Y/N? You make me sick Y/N. You're so fucking selfish and self-absorbed that I can't even tell you. You thought you would walk in here, give your poor boyfriend a surprise and get another chance to make yourself look good in front of others. You're a genius by the way. You ar-"

"STOP!!! Just stop it Shawn. Just fucking stop it. Enough Shawn enough. You said too much. You've gone too far."

You've really had enough of him. He was talking rubbish. It was like someone else has taken over his body. He seemed so strange to you. You felt like you've never known him. But with the words he was saying, he was pushing off the limits. You felt angry now.

"I can't even look at you right now. It makes me sick. What happened to you? Who do you think you are Shawn? I don't have a perfect life. And I'm not perfect. If anything I've been miserable since the past months but you are becoming too ignorant to see that. I'm sorry for coming and giving you a surprise which I thought would make you feel bett-"

"Ahh! Now you're gonna play the good person aren't you?"

You were totally taken aback. The way things were coming out of his mouth were unrecognisable. You were exhausted. And broken. You can't let yourself get hurt by his words anymore. He has said enough. He has went way too far. This was not at all how you were expecting things to turn out. Your eyes were red now from being sad and angry. You looked around you and saw the staff. Some were giving you sympathetic looks while some looked pleased. This was making you sick to your stomach. The person standing in front off you was not the love of your life. You began to feel dizzy. Before it can get any worse, you decided to walk out of the studio.

"Fuck you Shawn" you said in a dark tone, not that loud not that low and threw the packet away which you brought with yourself and started walking out. Shawn was still uttering words which you were too emotionally exhausted to listen to. Tears were nowhere seen to be stopping anytime soon.

You walked to your car, opened the car door and sat there for a while. You expected Shawn to come out after realising what he had done and hug you forcefully and apologize but there were none of it.

You were now fully crying inside your car. You felt so pathetic. How could he say such things to you when all you've always been is supportive of him and looking out for him because he was your everything. You cringed at thinking about the fact that how long have Shawn been thinking about you like this. What have you really done to deserve such cruel words? Or were you really that selfish?

You looked at yourself in the mirror. You looked like a mess. A crying wreck. You weren't sure of what do to now. You cried even harder when you felt like the words Shawn said began playing again in your head.

xx

Part 2 soon 💕 Let me know what you guys think about this xx MASTERLIST

[obeetlebeetle]

Do all the dnd asks!

1. A favorite character you have played.

done!

2. Your favorite character that someone else has played.

o my god.. this is so hard, my group makes really good characters! for each of them:zach - nickels!! trauma child kenku weirdo who sold their soul to talk.. who grew up to be an angry pirate who adopted a child on impulse.ari - lael, obviously. they have a half-elf complex, a good chunk of their personality is being the kid that catches lizards, and they have a robot arm.lemon - honestly? jj devinyl. i mean, john mulaney as a tiefling cleric who loves his wife and is also going completely insane? yeah.bree - i.. love layla. she’s a good-aligned cleric to an evil god and her and kellan are the cutest couple in dnd tbh.connor - guardian is a robot.

3. Your favorite side quest.

o fuck!! y’all.. it’s bufo. it’s the fact that my talking toad npc was so lovable that they unlocked the quest in which his mother hunts him down and tries to kill him so that she can live forever. they killed her ofc and bufo was untransformed into a handsome.. halfling.

4. Your current campaign.

i’m running a murder mystery set aboard an airship! with strong cosmic horror elements! and i’m playing in a large-scale epic about spies caught up in the very start of a continent-wide war.

5. Favorite NPC.

also a very hard question. on one hand, jean is my actual boyfriend and also a literal angel assassin. on the other hand, nika is a child god trapped in an amulet whose super god power makes people trip which is so fucking funny. back around to the first hand, which is now the third, aengus is so well-done as a villain that he’s almost scared me in my real-life actual heart and yet he’s an a huge loser with breakup trauma, which is objectively also so fucking funny. on my fourth hand, fela is my most important npc who i’m probably in love with and she’s been in every one of my campaigns. on my FIFTH hand--

6. Favorite death (monster, player character, NPC, etc).

done!

7. Your favorite downtime activity.

done!

8. Your favorite fight/encounter.

that time nasuada beat lumley up in her own dumb-ass head, and lumley’s response was to find this super hot.

9. Your favorite thing about D&D.

getting together and spending time with my friends! or maybe that it lets me be creative without the stress writing gives me.

10. Your favorite enemy and the enemy you hate the most.

fav enemy is def aengus!! like wow he’s fucking terrifying!! and i hate yin&yang the most, they were so creepy and cruel and they were never really punished.

11. How often do you play and how often would you ideally like to play?

i dm once a week these days, and i play sporadically. thesis year has been hard on me! but ideally i would love to dm twice a week and play in one or two steady campaigns, or dm once a week with regular one-shot sessions!

12. Your in game inside jokes/memes/catchphrases and where they came from.

o.. there’s a lot?? my favorite is “honeyclaw pissed on lenthol” bc our barbarian thought it would be a good idea to climb into the robot piloted by the “big bad” (or so we thought at the time), and then to sell her bluff that she was looking for the bathroom, she just...... pissed herself >:(

13. Introduce your current party.

as a dm: lael (half-elf magitechnician who bases their mad science off of cool bugs); guardian (robot paladin on his third life, basically robocop with light existential crises); senhora (brash and kind-hearted by turns, an elf who [REDACTED] before becoming a ranger and bonding w a wolf); jj devinyl (a tiefling cleric who does stand-up comedy and loves his wife); and percy (an android with identity issues, driven by curiosity, and love for magic, and literally no qualms about threatening to kill her friends).

as a player:rowan (the last prince of a lost kingdom and also the saddest, gayest boy in town); ko&kokumo (my elf boy whose soul split in two after leaving his warlock patron, driven by nosiness and romance respectively); honeyclaw (a tabaxi pro-wrestler who deserted her life as a child soldier, pissed on lenthol); peitho (the surprisingly wholesome god of sex, was kinda into the tactics of being a spy before he got distracted by p*ssy); and lumley (the dumbest baby lesbian ever o my god, she’s the daughter of a powerful river goddess and she still can’t get a date).

14. Introduce any other parties you have played in or DM-ed.

that would take me one million years.

15. Do you have snacks during game times?

yeah!! traditionally we take a halfway break at 9 and all go get snacks together, it’s great.

16. Do you play online or in person? Which do you prefer?

i prefer in person, but we play online a lot, and we’ll have to be only online once we graduate.

17. What are some house rules that your group has?

we round up score mods from odds and we don’t pay attention to like.. most of the little rules. it’s more abt the storytelling. (which is why we may switch to a different system if i can seduce them away.)

18. Does your party keep any pets?

o yeah, i think almost every group has had an animal companion. and if not, zach always plays a furry.

19. Do you or your party have any dice superstitions?

a lot of us roll specific sets for each character! 

20. How did you get into D&D? How long have you been playing?

i got into dnd in high school bc i liked a boy who watched community, and then i watched community, and the dnd episode fucking rocked. never got past making characters and one botched attempt at a session. then in my first year of college, i joined the dnd club and i’ve been playing since! so like, three years and some change.

21. Have you ever regretted something your character has done?

ya lol i play very much how my character would act and tho that usually goes well for me.. ko wanted to break his pact with aengus despite the Consequences and i didn’t. but overall i think the outcome has been a lot of fun!

22. What color was your first dragon?

silver! just introduced them, actually!

23. Do you use premade modules or original campaigns?

all original, baby.

24. How much planning/preparation do you do for a game?

a ton. as a dm i write........ a lot. i want to have a lot of vivid characters, solid plots, and a huge interwoven world. so my docs are always huge and take me months to finish. 

as a player i do less bc players just inherently have far less to do. but i still try put a ton into really developing my character so i can play them more naturally.

For DMs

25. What have your players done that you never could have planned for?

in my first campaign, i used a lot of weird memory spells to keep characters from remembering the big bad, because him being unremembered was a HUGE plot point for me. i had two different groups playing in the city at the same time, and one of them.... had this dragonborn who just liked to talk to plants and who hated nobles, and who fucking cast MAGIC MOUTH on their FANNY PACK to record that big bad so that it COULDN’T BE FORGOTTEN. MAGIC MOUTH. THAT’S THE SPELL THAT BROKE ME.

26. What was your favorite scene to write and show your characters.

i’ve really liked a couple, but i know i haven’t topped the finale for my first campaign. after finally the groups finally came together and killed Shargaas, the city began to crumble around them, and they all watched me set a ten-minute timer for them to figure out how to get away with their lives.

27. Do you allow homebrew content?

o yea, i adore MFOV particularly.

28. How often do you use NPCs in a party?

o there are always a couple kicking around.

29. Do you prefer RP heavy sessions or combat sessions?

we don’t really.. do... that second thing....

30. Are your players diplomatic or murder hobos?

yes.

For Players

31. What is your favorite class? Favorite race?

o fuck. uh probably wizard. and i love................. half-elves.

32. What role do you like to play the most? (Tank/healer/etc?)

i really like long-distance damage dealers.

33. How do you write your backstory, or do you even write a backstory?

i always start with a concept and then i just write an entire novel ell em ay oh.

34. Do you tend pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor?

done!

35. How much roleplay do you like to do?

like, 70% rp, 30% jokes,

[serpentsangel]

Can you write boyfriend!reggie imagine where the reader tells reggie to say “Ily” back but it’s hard for him bcs his reputation and they end up breaking up and she ends up dating sweet pea GOSSIP GIRL VIBES WHEN CHUCK DIDNT TELL BALIR ILY BACK :’)

“I Love You”: Reggie x Reader Imagine

I decided to split this into two parts!!!! I hope you enjoy this first one.

Words: 1,742

Warnings: Light swearing and heartbreak 3

You and Reggie have been dating for a fair bit, or at least it seems that way, Reggie was never able to hold a stable relationship due to his flirtatious nature but somehow, just somehow you managed to entice the jock enough to get him to be faithful. And yes, you’ve had your doubts but Reggie couldn’t be sweeter than he already is. Which is why it makes your stomach turn when you realized he has yet to repeat the words back to you. “You’re over-thinking it, (Y/N). Maybe it’s the anniversary blues.” Betty says, as you wrap yourself in endless blankets, eyes stained red with the drying tears from the night before. “Plus, as much as you want to believe you’ve changed Reggie, there’s always going to be a part of him that’s too proud of his masculinity to say soft words like that. Just give it time.”

And time you gave. Your 3rd year anniversary with Reggie is approaching, along with graduation. Maybe it’s the sadness in your heart consuming you, the sadness that this may or may not be the last time you see him depending on where either of you go to college. Reggie, already a prospect for a sports scholarship all over the country and even in Canada but you? Your parents got you to work at their production company for a year or two before going to college. A destiny you were bound to have before you could make your own choices. 

Taking a deep breath, you approach Reggie at his locker and getting up on your tippy toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. He jumps back slightly, a little surprised at you being there. “Woah, you scared me.” A small smile plays at his lips as he gives you a quick peck. Taking a look around, as if to check if any of his teammates saw him give public affection to his girlfriend.

“Is everything alright?” You ask and Reggie, as he has been doing lately, brushes it off and shuts his locker. “Homecoming is coming up. Are you ready for the game?” You change the subject, hoping that trying to take an interest into his hobbies would somehow allow him to pay more attention to you. It’s the time of the year where all the seniors are packed with applications and final projects that none of their minds are set straight. Especially with homecoming, no one could focus on anything else.

“Yeah. I’ve heard that a lot of scouts for schools could be there and yeah.” Reggie sighs as he squeezes your hand, smiling down at you with begging eyes.

Your hand drops to your sides as you sigh. Holding onto your books in your arms, Reggie’s eyes fall. “You have to cancel another date night? I understand. I’ll just see you, whenever I guess.” You walk past him as your shoulders bump. Another date night cancelled because Reggie needs as much practice as possible for the big game and though you understand, this is important for him, but he’s been blowing you off for sometime now and you can’t think of the last time you two properly spent time together and you wonder if he even remembers that your anniversary is coming up. Most likely not.

Another night of you being cooped by the bar at Pop’s, stirring your milkshake absentmindedly as you eat fry by fry and stare into the distance. You don’t notice a tall figure, clad in all black with the exception of a flannel, slide into the spot next to yours. “(Y/N)?” Your ears perk as you look up and see Sweet Pea, one of the Southside High students that transferred over to Riverdale High when their school got shut down. “You’re here alone?”

“As I always am.” You raise your hand and ask for the food to be packed for home. “What brings you here? No Serpent duties tonight?” You question. You were one of the few students that opened their arms to the Southside students when they first arrived. Reggie? Not so much. Funny enough, it was how the two of you met, when he first cascaded down the staircase and you sassed him to the point Veronica had to hold you back before you punched the guy.

“Nah, I’m too busy right now applying for college. Especially because I’m trying to get into medical school and trying to keep my grades as high as they are until grad.” Sweet Pea looks around, usually whenever you’re here Reggie is at your side but today is different. “Where’s Reggie?”

“Flaked me. Again. He’s worried that the stress from school will ruin his game for homecoming and he needs to be at the top since scouts and whatnot are going to be there.” You pick up the food and slide a few bills on the counter to pay for your order. “I’ll see you around Pea.” You leave with one forced smile before heading home, only to sit in the darkness with your thoughts clouding your mind. You check your phone every few minutes to see if Reggie has replied to anything you’ve said, and as you expected, he hasn’t but it still hurt. Maybe you are over thinking it a little, just maybe. So you promise yourself you’ll try to be the supportive partner for as long as you can.

- HOMECOMING NIGHT –

It’s the night of the big game. Your heart racing as you cheer from the sidelines with the rest of the Vixens. The one night where all students can forget about all academics and just bask in the school spirit one last time. You’ve managed quite well to forget the pain you’ve felt from how distant Reggie has been and you could spot the scouts out easily and could tell Reggie was at the top of his game. He’s playing better than ever but, then you remember, it also happens to be your anniversary and you haven’t heard a single word from him. 

As the cheerleaders take a break, you sink back into your seat, fiddling with the pompoms. “Everything alright, (Y/N)?” Betty asks, taking a seat next to you as she notices you eyeing Reggie. “What happened this time?”

“It’s our anniversary. He’s forgotten. I mean, does he even know I exist anymore, Betty? He’s barely looking me in the eye, he barely talks to me anymore and when we do he dares not to show any kind of affection. I don’t think he even loves me anymore.”  You look up at Reggie, he spots you but looks away as quickly as he does.

“Has he, you know, said the words?” You shake your head. You truly felt like what you have is special and people would tell you so. Even Reggie has said it before, that he’s never felt so strongly for someone but thinking back at it now, it all just felt like lies to keep you by his side. Everything you ever knew was slowly crumbling but you weren’t about to let it defeat you. You were determined to get him to say the words he’s always choked up on saying.

And as expected, the Bulldogs won and you felt proud. You let the Bulldogs celebrate with each other first before Reggie makes his way towards you, rather slowly. Archie sprinted up to Veronica and engulfed her in a big hug whereas Reggie looked like he didn’t want to be there. He smiles softly at you, leaning in for a kiss but you turn your head, so instead of your lips, he kisses your cheek. “Babe, is something wrong?”

“Is something wrong, really Reggie? You’re just going to pretend that you haven’t ghosted me for the past three weeks and have forgotten what today is?” You feel your throat close up, but you suck it in, you have to be the strong one here. Don’t let him see how much he has hurt you.

“It’s Homecoming?” Reggie says, confused as to why you could be angry at this day. “Babe, we just won! All the scouts look happy and I’ve played the best I have in my entire Bulldogs career, why can’t you be happy for me?”

“It’s our Anniversary, Reggie. Our third year anniversary!” You shout. Archie and Veronica noticing and having to be pushed away by Betty to give you two space. “I knew that dating you, the big cocky jock captain was going to be dangerous and people warned me that I’d end up getting my heart broken but I couldn’t help the way I feel. We know that this is something special and I want us to last Reggie but I can’t help but feel that you don’t want the same. I love you, Reg. I do but I don’t think you reflect these feelings.”

Reggie sighs, taking a step closer and whispering to you. “I do, I just…”

“Then say it.” You demand. “Say that you love me, Reggie. Look me in the eye and say the words.” A small crack in your voice rings through, paining your heart just as little as it is hurting Reggie. In his mind, it races a million miles an hour and he lifts his head to look around, wanting to push those words out but the pride he feels for his reputation always blocked the way. “Unbelievable.” You scoff. “You’re so fucking worried that people will see you as a weak little bitch just because you say ‘I Love You’ to your girlfriend. I can’t deal with this anymore, Reggie. I can’t keep giving you the benefit of the doubt. I can’t keep sticking around this way if you wouldn’t do the same for me.” Your words catch his attention, worry clouding his eyes as he knows whats coming but he still couldn’t muster up the words to say anything. “It’s over, Reggie. I’m done. Hope your scholarship was worth it.”

You throw your pompoms to the ground as you turn to run away back to your car. Betty and Veronica starting to go after you but they couldn’t keep up. Sweet Pea, witnessing it all, gets up from his seat but he too couldn’t get an escape route out. Reggie stands there frozen, as he plays the image of you running away over and over again. There’s no turning back now. You were gone. And there was nothing he could do to bring you back.

[rootfauna]

In Further “My life is a liminal space” News.....

After a long day at school I finally arrive home but only long enough to let Onon out. I had to right back out and go to the grocery store for pet food. The store where I can get all my stuff is pretty far away. It’s boiling hot outside. I hop on a bus and arrive at the station, then wait for the bus I need. I wait. And wait. Its 90 something degrees and the bus takes nearly an hour to arrive. Finally it does and I am whisked away to the store. I get there, walk into that sweet, sweet AC.....and promptly discover I’ve forgotten my wallet. Fuck. I walk back out to a different stop I know will have a bus arriving shortly and low, one is there. There is a man standing outside it very angry with the driver. I soon discover the reason for the man’s anger is that because it was 7:00 on the dot the buses were no longer running and the driver was refusing give him a courtesy ride back to the station. I am stranded. 

I am stranded with angry dude. Let me tell you about angry dude. He’s a 6′3″ 350 lb Native American man - mountain. He’s served 4 prison sentences, is extremely violent, regularly has the cops called on him, slings drugs, has a fondness for weapons, and is a gang member. His name is tohmas (yes, spelled correctly, this is an ndn name). 

I know all this because we chatted a bit on the bus on the way to the store and even more on our epic journey to go home. We decide to go back into the store and see if we can use a phone to call a ride. My phone is dead, his isn’t working. The store unfortunately has no curtesy phone. 

Fortunately Tohmas’s father lives about half a mile away, but there’s a highway, corn field and railroad as obstacles. Tohmas suggest we go there and see if we can’t find rights. At this point I’m learning how to work with whatever weird sort of chaos my life operates on. I follow him. As we walk he chatters away. He’s an open book sort of dude. He tells me about the massive race riot in the prison in Oklahoma; it was natives vs Mexicans vs whites. Tohmas took the opportunity to no only beat the living shit out of Mexican people and white people, but he beat the shit out of natives, too. We are delighted to find out we’ve both lived in Colorado. He shows me he loves it so much he still keeps his expired Colorado drivers license in his wallet. I tell him about my dog training and handling days, which he thinks is awesome. We tackle the obstacles, with him voicing concern over the possibility of me getting hurt and arrive at his fathers place. 

His father and mother are chilling on the porch. Unfortunately the car is broken down and may or may not even make it to the station. We’re still trying to get to the station bc we can both walk home from there. We decide to call around and as for a ride. They don’t have my kind of phone charger so my phone remains dead. Unfortunately no one can give us a lift. While we try to find a ride Tohmas chatters with his parents and they bring us both ice cold juice. I find out Tohmas has a knack for remembering faces and names, which he also uses for ass kicking and threatening purposes. He tells me the names of the nurses and doctors who treated his wife too roughly (to the point of malpractice) because she’s blind and also severely asthmatic and when she went to the ER while having an attack an orderly put her in a toe hold. He tells me the name of the asshole buss driver, who infuriates Tohmas not only for not giving HIM a ride, but even more so for not giving ME a ride, because it will soon be dark, I am a woman, and these are not safe streets. He says he knows I’m a badass but being a woman I’m more likely to be attacked in the first place. He says that if it weren’t for the fact that his wife didn’t know where he was and he should have been home hours ago, he would walk me home but she’s very worried and more prone to asthma attacks when stressed. 

Finally the decision was made to try the car, which thankfully did not break down. By now it’s completely dark. As we walk together for a bit he tells me he’s still worried for me, so when we part ways he gave me his number, his pocket knife and a hug, and says I can always call if I need him, and told me I had a wonderful heart. 

And that is how raging violent felon giant dude became my friend and protector for the evening. 

(and if you’re wondering, no, it’s not because he had a crush on me, he’s the most chivalrous dude I’ve ever encountered and at one point mentioned I remind him of his younger sister)

[hellimagines]

Us--Billy Hargrove (smut)

Masterlist

Request: “Can irequest a billy hargrove smut imagine where he gets his gorgeous girlfriend (Steve's sister) pregnant, their scared but so happy and leads to hot smuttl and fluff?” @harduy & “Hi! could you do one with billy where him and the reader are having an argument over something stupid but then the reader gets turned on bc she thinks he’s hot when he’s mad”

Summary: After finding out you’re pregnant, you have to tell the two most important people in your life; your brother and your boyfriend.

Warnings: Smut, cursing, angst

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x fem!reader, brother!Steve Harrington x sister!Harrington (not incest lmfao)

Word Count: 2,668

A/N: I combined the two, but it’s not as angry/fighty as you probably would’ve hoped.

Your hands gripped the porcelain toilet bowl in front of you, resting your flushed forehead against the cool material. Your (e/c) eyes were squeezed shut in an attempt to block out another wave of nausea. Letting out a ragged breath, you reached up and flushed the handle, the remains of last night’s dinner disappearing down the toilet.  

“Fuck,” you moaned in despair, forcing your weak body to stand on shaky legs. It was only 6:00 in the morning on a Saturday- you shouldn’t be awake. But being 6 weeks pregnant, it was nothing new. You’d done an amazing job at hiding it for the past 2 weeks, but you knew you needed to tell Steve soon… and Billy.

“(Y/N)? You okay?” Steve asked, his knuckles gently knocking on the outside of the bathroom door. You winced at the unexpected sound, wiping your mouth with the sleeve of your grey sweater.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just a little sick,” you responded, turning on the faucet so you could wash away the fatigue.

“Still?” Steve questioned after a moment of hesitation. “You’ve been sick for almost a week. Are you sure you don’t want me to see if dad can fly back early?”

“No!” you said quickly, your heart racing. “No, Steve. I’m fine, really. It’s not a big deal,” you tried to assure him, finally turning off the faucet and opening the bathroom door. Steve was stood outside, resting against the frame, his hair a wild mess and his eyes filled with worry.

“No, you’re not (Y/N). It’s not flu season, what’s going on?” Steve huffed, crossing his arms and barricading the door so you couldn’t leave. Steve already knew what was going on- he had seen the positive pregnancy test in the trash can before you had the chance to take it out yourself. But he wanted you to trust him enough to tell him yourself. However, it’d been 2 weeks already, and you still hadn’t told him. He knew you were dating Billy, and he wasn’t happy about it. But you’d made him see that the blond was changing and treating you well. You had told him about that immediately. So why couldn’t you tell him about this?

“I…” you began, unsure of how to tell him. He was gonna be mad, so, so mad. Steve had put so much faith and trust into you with this relationship. He hated Billy, and if he found out that he had knocked you up, Steve would kill him.

“You…?”

“I’m pregnant, Steve,” you finally blurted out with a heavy sigh. You weren’t looking at him- you had your head pointed down, your eyes trained on your socks. Steve didn’t say anything, but he nodded with a gentle sigh.

“Wasn’t so hard, was it, peanut?” he asked, and you snapped your head up in shock.

“Wha-?”

“I already knew, (Y/N/N). I saw the test about two weeks ago. I was just waiting for you to tell me,” he said. Your eyes widened in disbelief, but before you could respond, he had reached out to pull you into his chest. “I’m not mad. I’m shocked, yeah. I’m… confused, I guess. But I’m not mad. Does he know?” he questioned, his cheek resting on the top of your head.

“No,” you whimpered, tears beginning to well into your eyes as you gripped the back of his shirt. “I don’t know how to tell him. He’ll leave me. He’s never wanted kids, because of his dad. He doesn’t want to be like his dad. Steve, he’s gonna leave me,” you cried, and Steve pulled you closer, running his fingers through your (h/c) hair.

“Hey, shh,” he cooed, trying to get you to calm down. He didn’t do know jack shit about babies (all he knew were the middle schoolers he’d been watching over the past few months, and they were like mini teenagers), but he did know stress wasn’t good for a baby. “You have to tell him, (Y/N). No matter what happens, you have to. Whether you choose to keep it or not, is between you and him. But you have to tell him. Soon. He’s going to find out either way, and he’ll be even more pissed if he finds out you kept this from him,” Steve reasoned, pulling you back slightly so he could look down at you. You looked up at him, and nodded slowly.

“Okay… okay I will. I’ll invite him over today, if that’s okay?” you asked quietly, and Steve nodded.

“Yeah, that’s fine. I’m going over to babysit Dustin and the others at 6. If anything happens, call me, okay?” he demanded.

“I will,” you promised, and Steve smiled, planting a soft kiss to your sweaty forehead.

Later that night, Billy showed up around 6:15, and now the two of you were curled up on your couch in the living room. Alien was playing on the T.V, Billy totally engrossed in the film, while you were more focused on him. You were tucked into his side, your knees folded into your side, with his arm draped around you. Your fingers mindlessly played with his bronze St.Christopher medallion as you rested your head on his shoulder.

“I’m pregnant,” you randomly blurted out, not taking your eyes off of his necklace. The finger that had been twirling through your hair stopped for a second, before the whole arm was being retracted from you. The ferocity at which he had pulled back his arm caused you to fall to the side, away from him.

“What did you say?” he asked lowly, his blue eyes looking down at you. You looked back at him, your heart hammering in your chest.

“I uhm… I’m pregnant, Billy. I know, you don’t want kids. And I’m sorry, but this isn’t all my fault!” you cried, knowing better than to reach your hand out to hold onto his.

“You’re damn right I don’t!” he yelled, rushing to his feet. You didn’t flinch at the shout, instead standing yourself.

“Billy, would you just listen to me!” you pleaded, staring at his back. His shoulders flexed, before finally, he turned around. “You’re not like you’re dad, okay? You’re not. We’re three months away from graduating. You want to go back to California, right? I’ll go with you. With my dad’s money, we can get an apartment, go to college, get a job, and take care of each other. I know we’re only 18, and that this isn’t ideal. But if you love me, like you said you did… you won’t leave me because of this. And if you don’t want the baby, that’s fine too, we can figure it out. We can figure all of this out. But I can’t do it on my own, I can’t do it without you,” you whimpered, breaking down. Tears streamed down your face, and it took all of your strength not to collapse onto the couch beside you. Billy’s shoulders heaved up and down as he watched you, taking in your shaking body. He slowly walked forward, his eyes darting between your own.

“I’m sorry,” he eventually said, putting his hands on the side of your face so he could rest your foreheads together. You sniffled, trying to control your tears. “I don’t want to hurt you. Or what’s inside you. I don’t want to be like him,” he confessed.

“As long as you stay, you can’t hurt me. I promise,” you assured, nudging your nose against his. Billy shook his head at the gesture, his mouth quirking up in a small smile. You tilted your head, capturing his lips in a gentle kiss.

“I won’t leave,” he promised, breaking the kiss. “We’ll have to talk about this with your dad, and with my dad and Susan… I don’t know how that’s going to go,” he admitted sadly, not wanting to think about the thought.

“I know, but we can worry about it later. Let’s focus on us,” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck. Billy moved his hands to rest on your hips, bringing you closer.

“Us,” he smiled, kissing you again, but with more passion, and more love.

Billy began backing the both of you up until your legs hit the couch, sending you falling onto it. Billy was quick to climb on top of you, connecting your lips once again. You wrapped your legs around his hips, giving the two of you more room on the couch, while Billy rested most of his body weight on his elbows. Before you could tangle your fingers in his blond hair, Billy briefly pulled away so he could remove his shirt, you following suit with your own. Billy ran his hands up your sides, placing open-mouthed kisses along your chest and neck. He didn’t leave any marks, but the sensation was enough to make you shiver. Your hands fell down to his pants, your fingers quickly working to unbutton and unzip them. Billy let out a low hiss when you ran your hand over the bulge in his underwear, his teeth nipping at your collarbone. Billy pulled away again, but only so that he could undo your own pants, slowly pulling them down your legs and tossing them to the ground.

“I love you,” he whispered, bowing his head so he could kiss his way from your stomach to your chest. You weren’t sure if he was saying it to you, or the baby growing in your stomach, but either way, your heart fluttered.

“I love you too,” you hummed, pulling his chin up so you could kiss him.

Billy pulled you up, unhooking your bra and sliding the straps down your shoulders, tossing it with the other pile of clothes. Using your legs and your feet, you were able to shimmy Billy’s jeans a good portion of the way down, before allowing him to finish the job. He ran his hand over your stomach, humming softly into the kiss, before eventually moving his hand into your underwear. Your hips arched instantly, having missed the contact. You hadn’t been intimate in awhile- it’d been about three or four weeks. You were soaking wet, if the damp spot on your pink underwear was anything to go by.

“Fuck,” Billy moaned when his fingers dragged through your lips, the tips instantly feeling how wet you were for him without having to dive all the way in. “Missed me that much?” he grinned, staring down at you with a wicked smirk.

“You have no idea,” you huffed, not in the mood for much conversation.

You bucked your hips, his fingers finally hitting your clit. It wasn’t much, if anything a brush of a feather, but it was enough to make you sigh in pleasure. Billy passed the pad of his finger over the tip of your clit, barely touching it, watching your expressions closely. His pinky finger managed to escape the confines of your underwear, and he used it to drag over your underwear, pressing down slightly where he knew your entrance was. You were tired of this, you didn’t have the kind of patience for foreplay tonight. Without warning, you roughly shoved at his shoulder, causing him to fall backwards, his head landing on the arm rest. Billy’s eyebrows rose, a permanent smirk resting on his lips. Lifting yourself up, you grabbed at his boxers and tugged them off, adding them to the pile along with your own.

You paid no attention to his springing erection as you crawled on top of him, straddling his hips. His cock was laying directly underneath your cunt, your seeping wetness slicking his shaft just slightly. Rocking forward a bit, Billy’s hands flew up to grip your hips, his nails digging into your ass. His once ocean-blue eyes were now a dark navy, filled to the brim with lust as he racked your form. You rocked forward again, but more so than the last time, dragging your pussy from the tip of his cock, to the base, and then back to the tip.

“Princess,” Billy moaned, his thumbs rubbing over your hip bones. You took that as your cue. Picking yourself up so you were no longer rested on Billy, but now resting on your knees, you grabbed his cock, pumping your hand along it a few times. Your grinding had spread your own pre-cum along the shaft, so as you lowered yourself down, it wasn’t painful. You were tight though; you hadn’t been fucked in weeks. But you were also soaking wet, so it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. Billy let out a lengthy moan, refraining from bucking his hips and shoving himself all the way inside you.

“Oh god,” you whimpered, grasping his shoulder tightly, finally settling down on his entire length.

“You’re so tight, baby girl,” Billy groaned, lifting his hand up to push some of your hair behind your ear.

You waited a minute, allowing yourself to adjust to the feeling of him again, before you began to move. Both of you moaned at the same time, your head tossing back as his cock hit deep within you. Billy’s hands left your hips, attaching themselves to your tits and giving them a rough squeeze. You cried out in pleasure, their sensitivity shocking you momentarily. Billy gave you a toothy grin even though you weren’t looking, and he began tweaking your perked nipples with his thumb and forefinger. Your nails scraped down his chest, rocking yourself forward and further into his grasp.

“Mm, fuck, hold on, gorgeous,” Billy huffed, and you looked down at him with narrowed eyes, challenging him to stop fucking you. Billy ignored the look, instead holding your sides so he could move himself into a sitting position. Your legs wrapped around his back, his mouth instantly latching onto your left nipple.

“Fuck, Billy,” you whimpered, tangling your fingers in his hair and giving the blond locks a painful tug. Bouncing yourself on top of him, you could feel your orgasm approaching. “I’m close,” you warned, looking down at him. Billy pulled away from your tit to look up at you, grinning.

“I bet,” he snickered, nipping at your jaw. He held your body close to him, bucking his hips to meet your bounce, so that each time you would come down, he’d slam into you. Your nails dug into his shoulders, your teeth sinking the base of his neck as your orgasm hit you full-throttle.

“Ah, fuck!” you yelled, the noise muffled by his skin. Your walls tightened around him, your eyes squeezing shut, as you rocked your body forward to drag out your orgasm.

“Oh, fuck,” Billy hissed, holding onto your ass as his own orgasm approached. With a few more thrusts, Billy tightened his hold on you, locking your body within his arms as he came inside you. Both of your bodies shuttered and bucked with the aftermath, riding out your orgasms. Slowly, you began to pull yourself off of him, whimpering from the sensitivity and the loss of contact. His cock fell free, but you stayed on his lap, resting your head in the crook of his neck.

“You’re not gonna leave, right?” you asked quietly, your voice hoarse. Billy ran his hand down your sweaty hair, pushing it out of your face again.

“Of course not, baby. I’m here for the long run, and we’ll figure this out together,” he said, kissing the side of your head and holding you close. Billy kicked his legs out and scooted down the couch, pulling you down as he laid back. “Go to sleep, princess. I’ll wake you up before Steve gets back,” he promised, and you couldn’t help but snicker at the thought of Steve walking in on the two of you, naked and asleep on the couch.

“Thank you,” you hummed, kissing the red bite-mark you had left on his shoulder, before closing your eyes and eventually allowing yourself to doze off.