#my heart is open to this
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llovely · 1 year ago
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here's a fake interview about my me & my girlfriend that i transcribed from my head. enjoy!
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fettiowi · 1 month ago
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I humbly present to you. My sonadow drawings that had been deemed not posting worthy cause I didnt want to be cringe
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real talk having the 2nd worst new years eve yet 🤢🤢🤢 (throat infection, twisted neck, banged-about-foot, ego AND the rest o' me all bruised like misjuggled peaches 🍑🍑🍑)
im bent outa shape and suspectin the universe owes me 8 buck if anyone wannsa chip in
#yes the 🍑🍑🍑was just an excuse to shove ass emojis in your face i'm only (occasionally. allegedly) human#now ask me about my FIRST worst new year eve. it involves wizards and portals and elaborate lies i make up on the spot#SAD REAL TALK <STARTS>:#also made the mistake of reaching out to my mom post-xmas#like what kind of c-ptsd NOOB does that. what kinda chronic holiday trauma survivor NOVICE??? embarrassing#THE SEDUCTIVE FALSE HOPE OF NOSTALGIA WILL LURE YOU IN EVERY TIME#'oh but maybe they won't disappoint me. but maybe they won't rip my heart out this time'#sweetheart that's your dear sweet inner child's yearning for what never was or will be. BEAT IT BACK WITH A STICK!#SAD REAL TALK <ENDS>#....back to that part where i talked about being bent out of shape#if anyone w/ metalwork skills wants ta take a blowtorch & hammer & tongs & have at... I'm open to experimentation is all im sayin#in lieu of that i would also welcome someone buying me a sandwich. i am. so sore.#(metaphysically sore but also the other more urgent im-at-my-daily-NSAIDs-limit kinda sore)#(hence: sanwimch)#...i got so sleepy writing this i started imagining the astonishing hedonism#of stroking a freshly grilled cheese-dripping sandwhich across my body like a loofah#the soothingness of the gooey warm near liquid cheese. the vaguely spongelike quality of toasted sourdough slice.#look i didn't imagine it on PURPOSE it just came to me like a vision like a threat#like one of those weird mens locker room ads where the sportsball is watermelon??? u know the one#where there's nudity & food & homoerotica & hot steaming showers in the background and STILL the overall effect is more offputting than sex#look i have a throat infection. i can barely swallow. i'm sipping chocolate milk to survive and i'm NOT EVEN ENJOYING IT. each drop is agon#(opposite side of the Tantalus spectrum but i'm suffering more than he has in 3.5 thousand years)#i'm dehydrated. barely conscious. electrolytes are circling down the drain. doctors should be incubating me w/ capri sun straws right now.#I GET A PASS ON THESE TAGS#i don't know what i wrote! and i don't stand by it! and you can't make me read em!!!
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 months ago
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Why are you running?
[First] Prev <–-> Next
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nightwingsgirlfriend · 9 months ago
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my man 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
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tiffanyachings · 1 year ago
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Matching T-Shirts for You and Your Weirdly Codependent Cousin
based on this excellent post by @casgirl
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calltocupid · 8 months ago
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senator smith is a good man, skippy... like you.
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earthfluuke · 2 months ago
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Kant & Style: *exist* Bison & Fadel: Idiots (Fond) THE HEART KILLERS (2024)
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felassan · 4 months ago
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Strife Dragonage
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anotherrr momentous day in the Strife Dragonage fandom, etc
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stydixa · 5 months ago
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It's good to have friends with fins. AQUAMARINE (2006) Dir. Elizabeth Allen Rosenbaum
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possession1981-moving · 8 months ago
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THE FIRST OMEN dir. Arkasha Stevenson, 2024
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" Out of Line"
It's the person who's "out of line" who is always told to, "Get back in line!"
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I'm "out of line," and the students tell me to, "Get back in line!" But I say, "No, " and I saw a smaller line, and they all seemed happy and stood out as different. They were dressed in school uniform. So I started making my way over there. And the teacher of the line I left came and asked me to, "Get back in line" and when I replied, "No", immediately that teacher took it to the principal and now the principal and teachers from my original class started threatening me in front of the students. Who were trying to scare me to get back in place. When I started to break down and cry, my original classmates and other students of that class said, "If you would have stayed in line, this wouldn't have happened to you!" Even with that being done, I kept making my way to the other line. Now, the teachers became furious, and bullies from that school approach me, telling me to turn around. Once again, I refused, so the principal gave a "signal" to the bullies, and they said, "Fine, you could go." As I turned and walked a couple steps further, they added by yelling, "This school dressed you! So we're taking your clothes from off your back!" They started ripping the clothes off of me in front of my classmates and other students. "Hahahaha," they would all laugh as I became naked. Once, I was stripped, and the students of that class noticed the scars and bruises on my naked body. The bullies moved aside so all could see, and I saw pointing, I heard whispering and laughing, and from the laughing crowd, words came out, "How long you had that there!" followed by more laughter. I even heard the ones that had pitty for me say, "If he would have only stayed." At that exact time, I got up from off the ground and turned my back against them
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eterniravioli · 4 months ago
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moots if you ever see me blogging negatively about a driver you like know that i am never, ever talking about your rpf version of them. they should get to have all the gay sex possible
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carrotsofthepirabbean · 2 months ago
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The soundtrack version of Only a Matter of Time is objectively better than the demo version, but the demo version is objectively way funnier
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formosusiniquis · 9 months ago
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“This is a song off of an album, anyway,” Jeff trails off, trying to let Eddie start the riff for the next song. But he's not about to let this go unchecked.
“Jeffrey,” he drags out the name into as many syllables as he can manage, giving the end a singsong-y trill. “Jeffrey, did you forget which album the next song is off of?”
Gareth isn't mic'd but Freak is, so he can hear that at least one of them picks up his teasing with an ooooh.
“We don't need to tell them what every album is, they paid good money to see us. Hell, some of them probably saw us when we were debuting it.”
“But you announced the last one,” Freak says.
“An excellent point, Freakazoid.” Eddie agrees, “And he certainly set this one up like he was going to share again, didn't he?”
“He did,” Freak's nod is a little more exaggerated than it needs to be, playing it up for the nosebleed seats in the crowd.
“We've got a set list to get to, these people don't wanna be here all night.” Jeff tries.
“This is a Corroded Coffin crowd, my man, they don't bow to the whims of things like a bedtime.”
“Thank you to everyone who took advantage of the AARP presale,” Gareth adds, the bit has gone on long enough that he's had stage crew bring him a mic.
“Gareth had his knee replaced three months ago and he's here. These old fogies can put up with the show going an extra twenty minutes, while we dig down on this right?”
The crowd cheers, Eddie only waves them on a bit to amp them up. He sends his shit eating-est grin Jeff’s way as they shout.
“See, it's fine. Now, did ye of the memory vitamin supplements forget what album the song was from?” He turns to the audience more directly, “The people want to know!”
“Fine, yes, you've written so many songs about fucking Steve, they've all started to blur together. Does that make you happy?”
“Thrilled,” and he is. It's the best thing he's heard all day, and he gets to be on stage again for three generations of fans. “This next one is off of Hunt the Freaks, and it's actually about him fucking me.”
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platoapproved · 6 months ago
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Well, you don't talk about your mother very much.
insp (x)
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