#my heart BLOOMS with joy
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helenstudies ¡ 1 month ago
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I love being multilingual. I love reading books so much. and I know most of langblr and bookblr is about academia or classics but my heart is in children's literature. I grew up with my own language and my own country's literature. I get to have my childhood favorite books in my language. and then as I grow up and learn others I get to enjoy other people's childhood favorite books. sometimes I've progressed enough in my language to enjoy those foreign books in their own original language and be filled with joy as I realize how this would have shaped a generation of people. I get to go "what is this word" and look up and have a spark of joy as I memorize a BIG word in a new language. I get to gasp at reveals and twists and turns and fairy tales and romances and horrors of all your children's literature because my language level is still progressing and every new word fills me with wonder. I get to have my childhood and I get to have other people's childhood through my childlike language abilities. I love it. I love reading books!
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poorly-drawn-mdzs ¡ 3 months ago
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oh hey! i was reading a fic the other day where Wangji was once misspelled as Wangu. which leads me to: MDZS Pingu-style??? noot noot!
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Do you think love can bloom on the sea ice?
#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#digital art#Club penguin#ask#I've drawn a lot of strange crossovers for MDZS but this one really takes it up a notch#I saw this ask and thought “yeah why not. I've been meaning to do style studies. Let's experiment.”#And the moment my pen hit my tablet I was struck by the need to make it even worse.#Perhaps I am just nostalgic for club penguin and pengu but I think there is something magical about them holding hands.#Anyways I think younger WWX would have loved club penguin. It's the joy of the minigames and hanging out with your friends online.#Lan Wangji could never get past the fact the 'Ask your parent/guardian!' part of registration.#Either because he knew Lan Qiren would have said no *or* because he asked once and got turned down.#Lan Xichen probably was like 'Hey I can help you with that :)' to which LWJ said no because that was breaking the rules.#But if I *had* to put wangxian in a club penguin AU? Yeah 1000% it's LWJ as a mod and WWX as a notorious (nootorious) griefer.#WWX would be trying to speed run how fast he can get banned or how much he can get away with.#Getting removed and returning over and over earns him the 'necromancer of CP' title in the community. Loathed by many.#Meanwhile LWJ is about to seriously consider doxxing this guy just to get him to stop making his volunteer hobby less of a nightmare.#Cue 10 years later. They meet up on the ice flow on the last day before the servers get shut down. They have a genuine heart to heart.#Three years later on Club Penguin rewritten: two grown men decide to relive their childhood one more time.#Fate draws them to the same server.#I ask again. Do you think love can bloom on the digital sea ice?
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anantaru ¡ 2 years ago
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official art from genshin jp twitter reaching 2.7mil followers
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angel-inbloom ¡ 1 month ago
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‘In the quantum core at the center
of my heart, this love i have for you
fashions diamond out of truth.
they fall forward from me so
easily like air spilling into
light, breaking open, softly
blossoming into this gentle
nebula, the newborn star
of who i was always
meant to be’
My Quantum Bloom
these flowers are from my garden 🌼 and i wrote my words with a traditional nib pen, i love tending to these small details in my art. this is for a special future project 🤍
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erlandious ¡ 1 year ago
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Listen. Yeah, I wrote this with the intention of giving these little sillies gay undertones, but this is getting to the point where the only possible reasonings for their emotions is that they’re either (a) really best bros forever with some questionable thoughts or (b) so fucking gay for each other that they’re going to explode
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therootednomad ¡ 1 year ago
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retrace-104 ¡ 8 months ago
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I'm on the verge of finishing nier reincarnation;; I haven't done a lot of my shining Nikki tasks yet... I pray I will have time to finish them.
I think today might mark 5 months since I tried to get back to reincarnation, it feels special... I can't believe it's gonna be gone soon.
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dapg-otmebytheballs ¡ 1 year ago
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About the web weaves: ngl seeing all the tags about people crying and sobbing and throwing up fill me with joy ❤️ And also, same ❤️❤️
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malusokay ¡ 3 months ago
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5 Classics for girly girls 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
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Emily of New Moon
The bittersweet process of growing up and finding where you truly belong... The perfect read for the start of a new school year. After her father’s death, Emily Starr is sent to live with her snobbish relatives at New Moon farm. Thrust into an unfamiliar and often cold environment, Emily faces numerous challenges. However, as time passes, she begins to adapt and discovers the beauty in her surroundings. With the support of her new friends—Teddy, Perry, and Ilse—Emily not only finds solace but also discovers her own creative talents, helping her carve out a place for herself in this new chapter of her life.
“If it's IN you to climb you must -- there are those who MUST lift their eyes to the hills -- they can't breathe properly in the valleys.”
Jane Eyre
A true classic for all my fellow gothic-lit enthusiasts, Jane Eyre, reminds us that everyone deserves a love that consumes, challenges, and transforms the very core of your being, offering both profound joy and deep heartache (we love a good situationsship). Following Jane Eyre, an orphaned and mistreated girl who endures a harsh upbringing but grows into a strong, independent woman. As she takes a position as a governess at Thornfield Hall, she encounters the enigmatic Mr. Rochester, sparking a profound and tumultuous romance. Their intense connection is marred by secrets and personal demons, revealing the complexities of their relationship.
“Jane, be still; don't struggle so like a wild, frantic bird, that is rending its own plumage in its desperation." "I am no bird, and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being, with an independent will; which I now exert to leave you.”
The Secret Garden
Mary Lennox, a spoiled and neglected girl, is sent to live with her uncle after the death of her parents. Initially ill-tempered and withdrawn, Mary’s curiosity is sparked by rumours of a hidden, abandoned garden on the estate. As she explores and begins to restore this secret garden, she experiences a beautiful shift (glow-up era). The once gloomy and sickly Mary starts to bloom alongside the garden, rediscovering happiness, vibrancy, and a sense of belonging, making the story a heartwarming tale of growth and recovery.
“At first, people refuse to believe that a strange new thing can be done, then they begin to hope it can be done, then they see it can be done--then it is done, and all the world wonders why it was not done centuries ago.”
Pride and Prejudice
Truly a classic that has shaped my romantic expectations hahah... Elizabeth Bennet battles societal expectations and her own misjudgments in 19th-century England. When the aloof Mr Darcy (he'd totally be a ghoster in the 21st century just saying...) first crosses her path, their initial encounters are fraught with tension and misunderstanding. However, as Elizabeth delves deeper, she uncovers the complexities of Darcy’s character and her own heart.
“I could no longer help saying that I loved him. I loved him not only for his sake but for his own sake. I loved him because he was the only person who had ever really loved me for myself. I loved him because he had made me feel that I was worthy of being loved.”
The Little Prince
A young, otherworldly prince from a tiny planet travels across the universe, meeting various inhabitants and learning profound life lessons. His journey brings him to Earth, where he encounters a stranded pilot and shares his reflections on love, loss, and the essence of human connections. Through whimsical adventures and encounters, The Little Prince explores the importance of seeing with the heart rather than the eyes and reminds us of the value of friendship and innocence.
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched; they are felt with the heart.”
you guys asked for more academia/book stuff so I thought this might be a nice start, especially since I know that many of you are just getting into classics; these are all very much suitable for beginners!! <3
love ya ・:*₊‧✩
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ivyyisbored22 ¡ 3 months ago
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𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞—𝘏𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘫𝘪𝘯 𝘹 (𝘧𝘦𝘮) 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳
A Stray Kids one shot
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Synopsis: You and Hyunjin have been together for 8 months now and both of you are getting serious as you go. One evening when you were at Hyunjin's place, he finds out that, it's your first time...
Warnings: Smut🔞, protected sex (for once xD), experienced Hyunjin, reader is inexperienced and a bit nervous, loss of virginity, reader is called Angel, slow and soft sex, intimate, lots of kisses, oral (f.receiving), fingering, pet names, holding hands. Love Love Love⁠♡
Minors do not interact!!!
Note: I'm always writing kind of rough(?) one shots, so this time it's a soft one. It's my first time writing something of this type, and again, I'm exploring, so bear with me xD.
If this isn't your thing, you're more than welcome to skip it. Reblogs, likes, comments and feedbacks are always appreciated.
ɪ'ᴠᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴏꜰ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ɪᴛ ᴀ ᴍɪʟʟɪᴏɴ ᴛɪᴍᴇꜱ ʙᴜᴛ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴘᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴍɪꜱᴛᴀᴋᴇ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴡʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ.
Word count:6.5k (My hands lost control. I'm sorry lmfao-)
𝑬𝑵𝑱𝑶𝒀!
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
The fragrance of freshly bloomed flowers lingered around the boutique, filling Hyunjin's senses as he waited patiently for the girl behind the counter to wrap a neat dozen of red roses.
"That'll be fifteen dollars," The girl said as she handed the bouquet to Hyunjin.
"Thank you," He said, paying for the flowers, holding the delicate bouquet in his hands and softly smiling at the girl before exiting the boutique.
He walked to his car, unlocking the door and got in the driver's side, placed the bouquet on the passenger seat and drove over to your apartment.
Ten minutes later he arrived and pulled up near the sidewalk, he took the bouquet and got out of the car, pulling his phone out to text you.
Me: Hey Angel, I'm here ^^
Her<3: Hey Hyunne!! I'll be down in 2 mins!
He received a series of red heart emojis from you, he chuckled as he looked at his phone and slipped it back into his pocket and held the flowers behind him.
Two minutes after you came out of your apartment building, you immediately saw Hyunjin and ran towards him, falling into his open arm.
"Hyunneee!" You squealed, excited, happy to see him, Hyunjin's arm wrapped around you, kissing the top of your head.
"Hey baby,"
He brought the bouquet out from his back while you were in his arms, your eyes widened with surprise as you looked at the bouquet he was holding.
"Happy 8 months" Hyunjin said cutely as he looked at you smiling, your eyes sparkled at him then fell back on the roses, your fingers brushing against his as you took it.
"Aww Hyunne, you do this every month" You said, Hyunjin’s eyes softening as he watched your face light up with joy.
The gentle breeze tousled his dark hair as he smiled down at you, his gaze warm and tender. His heart swelled seeing the way you carefully cradled the bouquet, as if it were the most precious thing in the world.
“You deserve it every month,” Hyunjin murmured, his voice low and filled with affection.
His hand reached out to tuck a stray strand of your hair behind your ear, his touch lingering on your cheek as his thumb traced gentle circles on your skin. Your cheeks flushed at his words, and you bit your lip to hide the wide grin threatening to break free.
The scent of the roses mingled with the familiar warmth of Hyunjin’s embrace, creating a moment that felt almost dreamlike.
"I have something for you too," You said cutely grinning, that made him playfully narrow his eyes.
"What is it—" You cut him short, tip toeing and pressed your lips on his.
Hyunjin’s eyes widened in surprise, but it only took a heartbeat for him to respond, his playful demeanour melting into something more intense. His hand moved to cup your face, fingers slipping into your hair as he deepened the kiss.
Your breath hitched as the kiss grew fiercer, your heart pounding in your chest. His touch was both gentle and demanding, like he was trying to memorise every curve of your lips, every small gasp you made.
The roses in your hand were momentarily forgotten as you reached up, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, needing to feel the solidity of him against you.
Hyunjin’s other hand found your waist, drawing you even closer until there was no space left between your bodies. The intensity of his kiss sent shivers down your spine, and you felt a warmth spreading through you, igniting a fire that only he could spark.
When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting against each other as you tried to steady your racing hearts. His thumb brushed over your cheek, his gaze locking onto yours with a look so full of love it made your knees feel weak.
“Angel,” He whispered, his voice husky and filled with emotion. “You always know how to leave me speechless.”
You smiled, your eyes glimmering with the same intensity reflected in his. “I just wanted to remind you how much I love you, Hyunne.”
He let out a soft laugh, his breath warm against your skin. “You don’t have to remind me,” he murmured, his lips grazing yours in a featherlight touch.
“I feel it every time I look at you.”
His words wrapped around your heart, filling you with a sense of contentment. The air between you crackled with unspoken promises and the undeniable connection that seemed to pull you closer, again and again.
"Shall we go to my place?" He asked, placing his hand on the small of your back.
"Yes of course," You nodded, smiling softly, Hyunjin guided you to the passenger seat of his car and opened the door for you, you settled in the plush, leather interior.
He got into the driver's seat and started the engine, it roared to life and you took off on stretching roads, going to his penthouse. And throughout the drive, his hand was on your thigh.
Once you both reached, Hyunjin parked his car in the private parking space and you both headed to his penthouse. Once you entered his home, you were immediately enveloped by the warm, inviting atmosphere.
The space was modern and stylish, yet it carried his personal touch—soft lighting, art on the walls, and the subtle scent of his cologne lingering in the air.
The bouquet of roses still rested delicately in your hands, their vibrant red petals a striking contrast to the neutral tones of his home.
“Make yourself comfortable,” He said softly, his voice full of warmth as he walked over to you. His hand found its way back to the small of your back, guiding you further into the living room. “I’ll put these in water.”
You nodded, giving him a small smile as he took the bouquet from you. As he disappeared into the kitchen, you found yourself gravitating towards the large floor-to-ceiling windows that offered a breathtaking view of the city skyline.
Hyunjin soon returned, a crystal vase in his hands filled with the roses you’d cherished all evening. He placed the vase on the coffee table, the flowers adding a touch of colour and romance to the room. He turned to you, his eyes soft as they met yours.
“How about some wine?” he suggested, his voice low and intimate. You smiled, feeling the warmth of his presence wash over you. “I’d love that.”
Hyunjin moved to the small bar in the corner of the room, his movements fluid and graceful. You watched as he selected a bottle of wine, expertly uncorked it, and poured two glasses, the deep red liquid catching the light as it swirled in the glass.
He handed you a glass, his fingers brushing against yours in a way that sent a shiver down your spine. “To us,” he murmured, raising his glass to yours.
“To us,” You echoed, clinking your glass against his.
The first sip of wine was smooth and rich, and you sighed contentedly as the warmth spread through you. Hyunjin’s eyes never left yours, a small smile playing on his lips as he watched you.
Both of you sat down on his plush sofa, you sank into its softness as Hyunjin settled in beside you. He turned slightly, facing you fully, resting his hand over your shoulder. The warmth of his touch seeped through the fabric of your clothes, grounding you in the moment.
He took another sip of his wine before setting his glass down on the table.
For the next thirty to forty minutes the two of you were talking about your week, upcoming plans. You were the one who was doing most of the talking but still Hyunjin listened to you attentively, he could listen to you talk without getting bored for the rest of his life.
"So, then I told her..." You continued spilling the tea to him but then his hand snaked around your waist, pulling you into him.
"Yeah yeah I know, Angel," Hyunjin's face dipped in your neck, inhaling your sweet perfume and placing a hot wet kiss on your neck and shoulder. You didn't stop him. You loved how he was so clingy with you, how he always wanted to shower you with his kisses.
"This is the third time you told me the same story," He said, looking up from your neck grinning, you playfully rolled your eyes at him, your fingers going through his hair.
"Sorryyy," You said, he got up from your neck still grinning, his hands going down to your thigh, gently squeezing it which made you inhale a slow breath.
Hyunjin has been trying to be more intimate now that you guys were getting more serious with your relationship, but of course, he didn't push you too far until you yourself told him that you were ready to take things further.
But here's the thing. You've never had sex. OH.
And you felt embarrassed of the fact that you've been a virgin for so long. You knew Hyunjin would never judge you, yet you felt embarrassed admitting to him about it.
Although you also knew, when you're with Hyunjin, he will treat you with love and will take care of you. But you still felt nervous and since you've never been with anyone before him, you were worried about whether you were truly ready to take that next step. Your body craved him but your mind was nervous.
The thought had been lingering at the back of your mind for a while, a mix of excitement and nerves swirling together. Maybe today, you are ready to take things further.
Your breathing seemed to increase as Hyunjin touched your wrist, a worried expression spread across his face, his brows drawing in together when he felt your pulse race.
“Angel?" He whispered, his voice gentle as he brushed a thumb over your cheek.
You looked at him with a thousand thoughts rushing in your brain. It's been eight months now. You felt like it was better to tell him than keep it to yourself any longer.
Hyunjin cared for you, loved you a lot and you loved him just as much, his presence was like a balm to your nerves. There's no way he'll not understand.
"Hyunjin," You grazed your index finger over the veins of his hand resting on your thigh, taking a deep breath. You felt the rise and fall of Hyunjin's chest as he patiently waited for you to speak.
"Yeah?" He asked, his expression softening.
"I've never..." A lump formed in your throat. "done...it, before." You paused. Oh no, what is he going to think?
You looked at him again and searched his eyes for any sign of judgement or impatience. But then all you found was a soft expression and what looked like a bit of shock.
"You mean..." Hyunjin trailed off but he knew exactly what you were saying.
You nodded, feeling your cheeks flush, a deep scarlet spreading across your face. The words had taken so much courage to say, and now that they were out in the open, you couldn’t help but feel a bit vulnerable.
Hyunjin’s heart skipped a beat as the reality of your confession settled in. A part of him had suspected it, but hearing you say the words aloud still caught him off guard.
He blinked, trying to process the emotions swirling inside him—surprise, tenderness, and an overwhelming sense of protectiveness.
"Angel..." He said, his voice soothing. Your eyes broke from his gaze, falling onto the tiles on the floor, your stomach twisted with a mix of nervousness and so much embarrassment. You couldn't look at him.
"Sweetheart, don't look away from me," He said, his voice full of sincerity. "Talk to me"
His fingers touched your chin and brought your face up to meet his eyes. You looked at him again, feeling a rush of emotions swirl in your heart and mind. Hyunjin watched you with understanding, a tiny smile tugging the corner of his lips.
"You have no idea how much it means to me. That you're trusting me with this." His thumb brushed over your cheek, wiping away a tear you hadn’t realised had fallen.
"You don’t ever have to feel embarrassed or shy with me. I’m honoured that I’m the first, and I promise I’ll take care of you."
You could see the sincerity in his gaze as he spoke, the way he looked at you like you were the most precious thing in the world. It made you feel safe and your heart swelled with emotion for him.
“I’m just...I’m worried I’ll mess something up,” you admitted, your voice trembling slightly. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”
Hyunjin shook his head, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Angel, you could never disappoint me,” He murmured. “This isn’t about doing everything perfectly."
He cupped your face, his heart racing. "Tell me, do you want to do this? We don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable." He said reassuringly.
As much as he wanted you, Hyunjin kept his desires to himself. Locking them away until you gave him the word. He searched your eyes, looking for any sign of hesitation, his thumb gently brushing your cheek.
You swallowed hard. A second or two later you nodded slowly, the nerves bubbling but you knew you wanted this. You were comfortable with him and your life has gotten so much better after meeting him. You knew you were ready.
"Use your words sweetheart, are you sure?"
You took a deep breath, trying to steady the fluttering in your chest. His eyes, full of warmth, held yours with a quiet intensity that made you feel seen, heard, and cherished.
“Yes,” You whispered, your voice soft but sure.
“I’m sure, Hyunjin. I want this. With you."
A gentle smile tugged at his lips as he caressed your cheek. “We’ll take it slow," He reassured, his voice tender. "And if at any point you want to stop, we stop. No questions, no pressure."
His words eased the lingering tension in your body, and you felt a sense of relief wash over you.
He leaned down and took your mouth in his, he could feel the lingering taste of wine on your lips as he swiped the tongue over the seam, dominating but slowly, his hand cupping the back of your neck.
Your hands fisted his hoodie, your tongues were almost against each other, teeth against teeth, Hyunjin slowly guided his hands down your back and pulled you onto his lap.
You straddled him and locked your legs around his waist, softly moaning into his mouth, not breaking apart.
Hyunjin slowly got up, holding you against him and carried you to his bedroom. Once he reached, he twisted the door unlock and entered his dimly lit room, kicking the door shut behind him and walking to his bed, gently laying you on the mattress, pulling apart.
The mattress dipped beneath your weights as Hyunjin stood on his knees and pulled his hoodie over his head, he was wearing a tight white tank top underneath.
You looked up at him, taking in the sight of his beautiful physique, the defined muscles of his chest and arms, it began sending electrifying sensations though your body.
"I'm asking again, Angel." His eyes bore into yours with an intensity mixed with desire and concern. "Do you want to do this?"
"Yes Hyunne," You said breathlessly. "I'm ready. For you."
Hyunjin hummed approvingly, tracing his long fingers over your face, jawline and your bottom lip, down to the hollow of your throat.
You tried to steady your breaths, breathing in slowly as Hyunjin's fingers mapped across your clothed body. He was watching you intensely, helping you relax under the tingles of his fingertips.
"Just relax, baby, okay? Tell me to stop if you want me to stop," He leaned down and pressed his lips on the corner of your mouth.
"Okay..." You said softly, your eyes locking with his, fully trusting him. The trust and anticipation filled in your eyes as you looked at him made him feel like he got punched in the soul.
Hyunjin nodded smiling and reached to the hem of your sweatshirt and removed it through your head leaving you bare with just your pink lace bra.
He couldn't help suppress his smile as he watched your cheeks flush, being so exposed beneath him. The furthest you both have gone is light petting on his couch and your bedroom. Tonight, it's going to change.
"You're so beautiful, my love," He said as he gently placed his palm on your stomach, causing you to hitch a breath. He looked at you but you placed your hand on top of his, indicating him not to stop.
His hand slowly went up your stomach till he reached the swell of your breasts, they were hidden behind the fabric of your bra. Hyunjin wanted to rip it off, close his mouth around your nipples but he was being patient.
He was determined to make you feel that today is the best day of your life.
"Can we remove this, sweetheart?" Hyunjin's voice was a hushed whisper, his fingers toying with the strap of your bra.
You nodded, getting up and moving your hands behind you, unclasping your bra, your breasts pouring out, revealing them to his eyes filled with lust and love.
Hyunjin's eyes widened at the sight, he couldn't stop admiring your beautiful nipples, they looked so pretty and perfect.
His thumb brushed across the tip, it began stiffening under his touch, your heart was racing. Nervousness and anticipation was building in your stomach.
Hyunjin layed you on your back again and leaned down, kissing around the soft muscle and took the bud in his mouth, teased and swirled it with his tongue and began sucking, your chest rose as you moaned at the sensation.
His warm mouth on your breast felt so good, you could feel the wetness pooling between your legs as your thighs squeezed together, your body responding to him in ways that felt entirely new, yet so deeply right.
Hyunjin's hand closed around the other, softly massaging and rolling the tip between his fingers while he was latching on the left one, this feeling was insane. It was something you had never felt before and you just wanted him to keep going. Let him guide you through this new experience.
"Oh, Hyunjin," You moaned, breath hitching now and then, your fingers running through his hair as gave so much attention to your chest.
His face was buried, playing and groaning at the sounds that were escaping from your throat. The sounds of his lips on your skin, the wet slurping and gentle sucking, filled the room, mingling with your breathy moans.
Your heart was thundering behind your ribcage but you were enjoying every second of it. Hyunjin's other hand was closed around your wrist to read your pulse but he knew you were being consumed with need.
After minutes, his mouth left your nipples, his lips swollen and glistening from his attention to your breasts, the look on his face was pure satisfaction.
"I could keep doing that forever baby," He swirled the bud one last time and crushed his mouth on yours.
There were so many emotions swirling in your mind right now, it was nearly overwhelming to calm them down, although your body was begging and craving for his touch.
Hyunjin's fingers now traced across the waistband of your pants, this time you nodded pulling back, now not feeling so nervous anymore.
He smiled, kissing your cheeks and unbuttoning your pants, pulled them down and throwing them on the floor. Now you were in nothing but your panties that matched with your pink bra.
Hyunjin traced his finger over your clothed center, feeling the wetness soaking the fabric, he was doing nothing but stroking his long middle finger over it.
You inhaled a sharp breath. Oh God, this was embarrassing. A rush of self-consciousness flooded you as you realized how loud your gasps were. But before you could silence yourself, Hyunjin's hand flattened against your pussy, the warmth and pressure of his palm grounding you.
"Don't silence your noises, Angel, okay?" His tone was hushed but also a command. "I want to hear how good I'm making you feel."
You nodded as you watched him smile and stand on his knees again, removing his tank top and pants, and now we was in nothing but his boxers. Your eyes fell from his eyes down to his beautifully sculpted body, you expected an artist's signature to be there at the end of the long V of his torso.
Your gaze travelled down to the impressive bulge straining against the fabric of his boxers. The reality of his size made your heart skip a beat. You were feeling nervous again but at the same time you were feeling excited.
"Ready?" He asked, towering you, his arm next to your head holding him up and his other hand's finger twisting the band of your underwear.
"Yeah," You said breathlessly and Hyunjin slid the lace down, leaving you fully naked and exposed.
Tonight he was going to make you feel like a princess. Like a Queen.
"I'm going to take good care of you, my Angel."
He kissed your lips one more time and began making his way down your body, trailing hot wet kisses on your breasts, the valley of your stomach and the rise of your pubic bone.
And as he reached your centre, you were so wet for him, pride and possessiveness washed over him with the sight of your pussy. It was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. He kissed your clit, as light as feather, you hitched a breath again, your toes curling.
"Baby, just relax. I'll make you feel good," His fingers traced over your wet folds, spreading them gently to reveal your most intimate self. A small hiss escaped your lips as the cool air met your heated core, your eyes fluttering shut as you tried to steady your breathing.
Hyunjin kissed your soft thighs to calm you down and gently got down to your clit again, his tongue moving over your sensitive bud. He groaned into your wetness, pressing his mouth on your pussy, and began eating you out.
This was nearly ecstatic. He was making you feel beyond good. Your body responded so eagerly to him, you forgot how nervous you were. Your mewling sounds made Hyunjin drunk with the taste of your juices, your hand fisted his hair out of instinct and the other grabbing the sheets.
Hyunjin's tongue worked so expertly on you, every lick and flick tingling your body, lapping away your sweetness. He pressed his mouth against you more firmly, his tongue exploring every inch of you, tasting, teasing, and worshiping with every stroke.
When he felt your breathing steady, only moaning in response to him, in an almost torturous inch by inch, he slid his middle finger through your opening, the sensation made you squirm.
"Baby, you taste so good," He said, flattening his tongue over the nub. "So mine." You were squirming at the feeling, moaning while tears leaked from the corner of your eyes.
He added his ring finger after a few seconds and moved them so slowly inside of you. It was clear that you were experiencing something new, something intense, and it made him want to be even more careful, even more gentle.
He was scared to hurt you, he didn't want to cause you any pain. Your pleasure was his pleasure. And he wanted to give you every ounce of it.
Hyunjin watched you, your chest rising and falling, mouth open and eyes half shut at the pleasure he was giving you with his mouth and fingers. He could feel how you tightened around him, your soft moans filling the room, each one like music to his ears.
"Are you feeling good Angel?" He asked softly and kissed your clit.
"Yeah," You moaned. "Yeah, it's...it's so good, Hyunne."
The way you said his name, the way you moaned it, sent a jolt of electric fire straight through him. His heart swelled with so much love at the same time he could feel the insistent throbbing of his own arousal, his cock straining against the fabric of his boxers, begging to dive in you.
Hyunjin wasn’t used to this kind of restraint. He wasn't a patient man. He liked it hard and rough, the kind of sex that left marks imprinted on skin. But tonight was different. It was about you—the love of his life, the one person who made his heart ache with tenderness.
"Hyun—" You gasped when his fingers worked faster.
"It's okay baby, I'm preparing you. Trust me," He said, coming up to your face, kissing away the tears.
"I, I trust you," Your voice came out low and breaking into moans, the sounds of his fingers inside your hot walls and coming out of your throat drove him crazy.
Hyunjin's gaze was intense, his eyes dark with desire as he watched your every reaction, the way your breath hitched, the way your body arched towards him. He loved seeing you like this, completely vulnerable, completely his.
Your nails dug his strong bicep, grooving scars, the stinging pain turned Hyunjin on so much more. After prepping you, Hyunjin withdrew his fingers, you were so wet and your body was now ready for him.
You were flushed and dripping with arousal that your walls clenched around nothing, he smiled at you when your eyes locked. You gently propped on your elbows as Hyunjin reached out to his nightstand, opening the drawer and took out a condom, he held it in between his teeth as he pulled his boxers down.
You were right. Hyunjin is BIG. His cock was finally freed from the confines, it was so hard, jutting up, long and veiny, you could feel it throbbing without even touching it. The tip was angry, leaking pre cum, you swallowed looking at his impressive shaft. The mere idea of it being inside of you made you feel like it was impossible.
You swallowed hard again, the nervousness building up once more, heart racing. It was like he could feel it, he turned back to you taking the condom in his hand, his fingers pressing on your hair.
"I'll be gentle baby, I promise." His eyes softened as he watched you, the look of his gaze spoke to your heart, promising that this will be the best thing you ever experienced.
"I, I want you Hyunjin," You reached and put your hands around his neck, your body was craving for him despite the nervousness.
"I'm all yours baby," He kissed your cheek. "Just relax and let me take care of you, my sweet Angel."
He said and settled in between you, spreading your thighs and ripped the foil open with his teeth, rolling the condom on. He held your waist and positioned himself near your hole, you felt the tip brush against your entrance, making you shiver with anticipation.
Every inch of your bodies were on fire, consumed my love and desire. You wanted Hyunjin inside you and Hyunjin wanted to dive in.
With one long breath, Hyunjin looked at you, his fingers intertwined with your fingers, his mouth collided with yours and the other hand holding your waist, he was finally, wondrously going inside you.
Inch by inch of his huge length filled you with an amount of pain and pleasure, your back arched into him, you were wincing. Hyunjin didn't leave your mouth until he was fully inside you.
When he pulled apart, your eyes fluttered open meeting his, it was glassy with tears and was streaming down your face. He kissed your wet cheeks, his grip tightening on your waist.
You were so tight, clamping his cock so nicely, Hyunjin felt like he could come right now, but he held himself.
Hyunjin has to be gentle. For you. He promised. And he will. He had never been one to hold back, but for you, he would restrain every urge, every impulse, because he knew how important this was. Not just for you, but for the both of you.
"Are you feeling okay? He stilled.
"Yeah," You let out a shaky breath and gripped his arm. "It's so...good, oh my God."
Hyunjin smiled so widely, his heart swelling with a mix of pride and overwhelming love. The way you looked at him, the way your breath hitched, sent a rush of warmth through his chest.
“Good,” He whispered, his voice thick with emotion as he leaned down to pressed his lips on your forehead. His lips lingered there for a moment, soaking in the warmth of your skin, his body caging you. Protecting you.
Your breath shuddered when he looked down at you, your eyes wide and filled with a mix of vulnerability and lust. Hyunjin kissed you again, your fingers tightening around his hand as he began moving, the first pull and push was discomforting.
The initial stretch was intense, a mixture of pleasure and a slight burn, but Hyunjin’s calm presence kept you anchored. He paused, giving you time to adjust, you whined into his mouth, still feeling a painful friction. You let out a wincing sound, Hyunjin stroked your hair, trying to steady you.
"It's okay, it's okay baby. You're doing so well my love,"
With his soothing voice, it became easier, the pain and discomfort was being replaced by pleasure with each new thrust. You adjusted to the sensation, feeling the tension begin to ebb, replaced by a growing sense of fullness.
You almost couldn't believe that this was happening. You were doing it. Sex. With Hyunjin, and your heart never felt this happy.
Soon you were moaning, louder and louder with each thrust, he began increasing his pace. Your hand came up to his face, tracing his features, he held it and kissed your palm.
Hyunjin watched your reactions closely, his eyes never leaving your face as he sought out the smallest signs of discomfort, ready to stop the moment you needed him to.
But all he saw was your pleasure, the way your body responded to him, the way you melted under his touch. It was intoxicating, more than anything he had ever experienced before.
"Fuck, Angel," He groaned.
Your walls were clenching him so nicely, he felt like he was going to explode, it drove him insane. His voice was raw with the effort it took to maintain control. You looked so heavenly beneath him, he couldn't believe his eyes.
"Hyunjin..." Pleasure consumed you whole, you moaned as Hyunjin fucked you slow and gentle before he scooped your leg, holding the underside of your thigh so that he can dive in a bit deeper.
Your head fell back against the pillow as you gasped, your eyes fluttered shut, mouth falling open as you took him in like you were made for him. Hyunjin was so proud of you. He watched you getting drowned in pleasure, letting yourself get lost to him. Your fingers locked again, he never let them go.
Hyunjin's mouth leaned close to your ear, whispering words of praise to you, how gorgeous you are, how much he loves you and how you are doing so well. Somehow those words were more intimate than the actual sex.
"You're so perfect for me," He murmured into your ear, his voice low and husky, the words laced with a mix of love and lust.
His breath was hot against your skin, sending shivers down your spine as his body moved in sync with yours.
"Taking me so well...You feel so fucking good."
The way he moved inside you, the way he held your hand so tightly, grounding you even as he drove you to the brink of ecstasy—it was overwhelming in the best way possible.
Your heart, body and soul was on fire as Hyunjin began increasing his pace and leaned down, resting your leg back down on the mattress and began sucking your nipple as he continued thrusting. Your free hand held the back of his neck and went through his damp hair as he licked and sucked.
The air was soaking with sweat, gasps, groans, and the rhythmic slapping of skin against skin.
Moan after moan poured out of your throat, growing louder and needy as he went in and out, you felt him hit all the spots. There were no more signs of any pain or discomfort or nervousness and you wanted more.
"More, Hyunjin," You moaned, arching your back and bucking your hips, needing him.
"Do you like this sweetheart? Do you feel good?" He asked, removing his mouth from the swollen bud. Hyunjin's voice was rough, almost strained, he lifted his head to look at you before dipping down again to kiss and suck at your other breast.
"Yeah, yeah...Oh—" You moaned loudly as your eyes shot open when he hit that one spot that made you feel something tingle and building in your lower stomach.
He groaned in your chest knowing he was bringing you to the brink of your first orgasm. Hyunjin was filled with so much pride. His cock twitched inside you, the two of you were reaching the depths of your highs. He was losing himself in you, just as you were losing yourself in him.
"You're mine, all mine," He growled softly, his grip on your hand tightening as he thrusted deeper, filling you completely. "I'm so fucking proud of you, baby. You're so good...so fucking perfect."
The sound of his voice, rough with lust, sent a fresh wave of pleasure crashing over you, your grip tightened, nails digging into his skin as you felt yourself nearing the edge.
It's here. It's here, you can feel it. And so can he.
"Hyunjin...oh...gosh..." He smiled wide at your breathless voice.
"I know, baby" He groaned, his pace quickening, the tension in his voice making it clear that he was right there with you, he placed a hot kiss on your neck.
"Go on my Angel, come for me, I've got you."
Hyunjin said and kept moving, rocking his hips, you were moaning uncontrollably. His words were your undoing and with a sharp cry, you surrendered to the pleasure, your body trembling as you came undone in his arms.
The tingles in your stomach untangled as you felt your release, it took over your whole body, your back arched against him. Hyunjin held you as you screamed his name, coming down in ecstasy all over his cock, your other hand clawing his back.
Hyunjin growled in your neck, he sped up, his movements becoming more urgent, more desperate, until he slammed into you one final time, cussing and filling his load deep into the condom, moans broken and loud spilling out, your body shaking beneath him.
He stopped thrusting, his cock was continuously twitching inside of you, the feeling of his release making him groan harshly. Hyunjin gently lowered himself onto you, his weight comforting as he pressed his strong body over yours.
"Fuck...fuck..." His face was buried in your neck, the aftershocks of his release making him shudder against you, tears streamed down your cheeks again in pleasure.
You both held each other's sweaty bodies, Hyunjin was still inside you as the aftermath of your shared climax slowly began fading, until you both caught your breaths, calming down from the highs of your comedowns.
As the waves of pleasure finally began to subside, Hyunjin lifted his head from the crook of your neck, looking at your face flushed crimson. He brushed away the strands of hair that were glued on your face, smiling so widely, it made your heart ache.
A few seconds later, Hyunjin slowly pulled out of you after his breathing was steadied and discarded the condom. You got up when he turned to you and wrapped your hands around him, the sudden movement made him lose his balance, and he fell back onto the bed, bringing you with him.
You landed on top of him, both of you laughing softly.
"Heyy babe," He chuckled and before he said anything else, he hugged you back tightly.
"Thank you," You cried into his arms out of an overwhelming amout of happiness radiating off you, your chest pressed against his. "This was perfect."
You sniffled, feeling the dampness spread across his skin, mingling with the sheen of sweat that covered both of your bodies. Hyunjin's arms wrapped around you even tighter, his embrace warm and strong. You felt his hand gently stroking your back, his touch comforting and full of emotion as you buried your face in his neck.
"How are you feeling Angel?" He asked once you finally pulled back slightly, his hand came up to cup your face.
"Stronger than ever before."
Hyunjin’s eyes softened as he gazed at you, his thumb gently brushing away the tears that still clung to your lashes.
“That makes me so happy to hear,” Hyunjin whispered, his voice filled with emotion.
He reached and planted his lips yours, sweet and softly, conveying everything he felt for you. It was slow, gentle, and full of the love you both shared.
“I’m so proud of you,” He continued pulling back, his voice low and soothing. “For being so brave and thank you...for trusting me…”
Your heart swelled at his words, the sincerity and warmth in his voice making you feel even closer to him. You reached and cupped his face in your hand, your thumb gently caressing his cheek as you looked into his eyes.
“I trust you with everything I am,” You said softly, your voice full of emotion.
"I love you," Hyunjin murmured, his eyes shining with affection. "You’re everything to me, Angel. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what."
"I love you too," You smiled, the happiness overwhelming you, radiating from your heart.
You couldn’t believe how lucky you were to have found someone like Hyunjin, someone who loved you so deeply, who saw you for who you were and cherished you all the more for it.
You rested your head on his chest, you could hear the rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your ear. Each beat was a reassuring reminder of his presence, the gentle rise and fall of his chest as his breaths created a comforting lullaby, a soothing backdrop to the moment you shared.
“Let’s stay like this,” You whispered, raising your head and looking at him, your voice soft. “Just for a little while longer.”
Hyunjin smiled, pressing a sweet peck on your nose. “For as long as you want, Angel,” He murmured, his voice full of devotion.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
You nestled closer to him, your body on top of his, your head resting on Hyunjin's chest as you listened to the steady beat of his heart. His arms held you securely, and you both felt a sense of belonging.
A feeling of peace washed over you, knowing that this was exactly where you and Hyunjin were meant to be.
Together, in love, now and always.
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xx,Ivyy
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moonlight-prose ¡ 3 months ago
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HEART MADE OF GLASS
a/n: this is totally not to make myself feel better. totally not self indulgent cause i couldn't finish cooking my dinner last night. that gif is also self indulgent. but also hopefully a distraction from how angsty this kind of is. divider as always by the lovely @saradika-graphics.
summary: you couldn't control when they could come. the waves of nothingness - of battling with your body and mind in the hopes it would cause a shift. you wanted to control it. he simply wanted to help.
word count: 1.1k
pairing: logan howlett x reader
warnings: angst, fluff, disassociating, depression isn't outright stated but that's what it is, meat eating (sorry i'm an iron anemic bitch), logan's love language being acts of service.
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The fire alarm never went off when you were in the kitchen. So he felt his heart jump at the sound of it blaring through the small apartment. Even down the hall and in the bathroom he smelled the bitter smoke as it rose from the pan you were currently staring at. A blank expression on your face and hand gripping the handle.
He meant to grab his flannel and join you for dinner. What he didn't expect was the emptiness of a silent kitchen not filled with your usual music. Your soft hums as you try to keep in tune with the song.
Logan's favorite pastime was standing in the doorway watching you cook whatever creation came to mind. Whether it tasted good or positively vile, he'd eat it one way or another. He'd swallow happily with a grin simply to see that smile bloom across your face. A look he did everything possible to keep right where it was meant to be.
"Bub?"
You startled, flinching at the sound of the alarm as you shoved the pan away from the burner. "Shit. Sorry."
A frown etched onto his face at your quick apology—your eyes never quite meeting him. "Everythin' okay?"
"Yeah," you said, lying right through your teeth. "I just got distracted."
Logan could hear the bullshit louder than the alarm. He knew something was wrong, because he'd seen it before. The silence that filled a once loud household. How you slowed down during the day, unable to finish simple tasks without pushing yourself over the edge. He watched you dwindle down to the barest bones your body had to offer and yet you never asked him for help.
You never explained why it occurred.
This wasn't in part because you didn't want to. You did. You simply held no real reason for why your body—your mind—chose to betray you at the oddest of times. At first you figured it was the lack of sleep. The restlessness that ate away at your body each night—keeping you up and active until finally you wore yourself out.
But this wasn't that.
This came from deep inside your chest, lingering beneath the surface—waiting for something good to happen before it struck with a vengeance. This protruded out of your very nightmares.
"Need some help?" He knew the answer before it came. No.
What could he possibly do that you hadn't tried a million times over? There was no easy fix for something this brutal. Silently, you begged him to leave the kitchen and find something else to occupy his time. He stubbornly stood behind you, watching over your shoulder as you dumped the now burned pan in the sink. What might have been a delicious steak now looked like a charred brick.
The sight of it still smoking only seemed to dampen your mood further.
You fought to keep yourself there, in the moment. But the dazed expression from earlier began to slowly trail its way back up your face. Until you could do nothing but stare at the mess you made, exhaustion slicing down to your bones.
His looming presence became an afterthought to all that filtered through your head. All the brittle and vile thoughts you tried to keep at bay. Some days they managed to weasel their way past your infinite walls. Some days...they found joy in tearing you up inside little by little.
Voicing it aloud though would never be an option to the havoc you tried to tame.
"C'mon," he muttered, his hands pulling at your hips to move you. "Out of the kitchen."
"I can finish–"
His glare was devastating.
Most of the time you'd ask him to tell you what he was thinking. Tonight you understood his demand. Get out of the kitchen before you hurt yourself. Let him do what you often did for everyone else.
Give him the chance to put you first.
He points to the chair originally pulled out for him. "Sit down."
But unlike other people he encountered, you were far more stubborn. "I don't–"
"Sit on the chair bub. Or I'll tie you to it." The grin he gives you is filled with sarcasm, but you can see the truth shining in his eyes. He wouldn't hesitate to follow through on a promise like that. He wouldn't even blink. "Your choice."
There was no argument left to throw at him, because his attention was elsewhere. So you sat. You allowed yourself to rest as he stumbled his way through the kitchen. Logan couldn't really cook. He picked up what he could through the life he lived, but nothing came out exactly perfect. That wasn't what warmed your heart at the sight of him standing there intent on delivering a meal worth eating.
He didn't shy away when you tried to push. When the horror that you needed someone to help was no longer a fact you could ignore. No matter how hard you shoved and bit and did what you could to scare him off. Logan pushed back. He quelled your bite with a stature of resolute stoicism.
With an exhale, he flipped the burner off and slid whatever he'd made onto a clean plate. Watching him move felt as if you were being placed in a trance. You almost told him that once in your first week of dating. Something told you he already knew by the way your eyes tracked him from the kitchen to the table.
"Steak," he said, sitting with a grunt.
A quick glance told you one thing. Logan didn't know shit about cooking steak.
You grinned nonetheless.
"There's..." Red spilled down the side, pooling on the plate as steam hit your face. "How long did you cook it?"
He shrugged, slicing it with ease and plopping a piece into his mouth. "Tastes fine to me."
"I'm sure it does."
"Watch it bub," he muttered mid chew, his lips curled into a smirk.
Making a show of zipping your lips shut, you took the piece he offered you. And as he did each time before, you ate it with a grin simply to watch his smirk turn into a smile. There may have been no salt, no extra flavor, and strangely a charred sensation with each bite. But you could taste the love spreading across your tongue with ease.
"Delicious," you garbled in the hopes he'd understand how much you loved him.
He snorted, shoving the plate to the center of the table. His thumb swiped at the juice that leaked from the corner of your mouth, causing your heart to jump erratically in your chest. Even on your bad days he managed to flip the switch in your mind with simple touches and soft looks.
"'M gonna order a pizza."
Leaning into his hand, you pressed a kiss to his wrist. "Thank you."
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solxamber ¡ 17 days ago
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Promises in Moonlight || Malleus Draconia
You've chosen Malleus!
Falling for Malleus was like finding warmth in the heart of Briar Valley's mist—slow, unyielding, and all-consuming.
Prologue ; 1k Masterlist
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You’ve finally decided to take Malleus up on his invitation. After debating for what feels like forever (and Grim mocking you for "acting like a smitten fool"), you pull out your phone and text him, "I’d love to go for that walk with you!"
The reply you get is instant, as if Malleus had been sitting with his phone, eagerly awaiting your response:
"Dearest Child of Man, your acceptance fills me with an immeasurable sense of joy. I shall meet you at the courtyard shortly. Together, we will bask in the serenity of the night, under the gentle watch of the stars. Until then, may your anticipation for our evening be as bright as the moon above."
You can’t help but laugh. It’s the most Malleus text ever. It’s endearing in that formal, poetic, almost ancient way of his, and you feel warmth blooming in your chest as you quickly send a more casual, "Can’t wait :)" back to him.
Fast forward to later that evening, and Malleus arrives at Ramshackle Dorm. He’s looking as regal as ever, his usual air of authority softened by the way he looks at you. It’s not often you see Malleus trying to be cute, but he’s definitely putting in the effort. Before you can greet him properly, Grim trots up to Malleus with his chest puffed out.
"Hear me out, Tall, Dark, and Spooky," Grim begins, sounding like he’s about to bestow a grave responsibility, "You better keep my henchhuman safe tonight. If anything happens to ‘em, I’ll… I’ll bite your ankles or somethin’!"
You glance sideways at Grim, trying not to snicker. Malleus blinks once, twice, then solemnly nods. "Fear not, small creature," he says, placing a hand over his heart. "I shall protect them as though they were a rare treasure."
Grim gives a self-satisfied nod, satisfied with Malleus’s promise, but mutters under his breath, "Better be careful with those big words, pal. You’ll confuse yourself."
Malleus, seemingly oblivious to Grim’s muttering, reaches into his coat pocket and produces a delicate, ethereal flower that looks like it was plucked straight from a fairy tale. He offers it to you with a small, proud smile. "I thought this would suit you."
You accept the flower, grinning. "It’s beautiful. But… I’m going to put it in my hair so I can hold your hand instead."
Malleus blinks, looking a bit caught off guard but quickly recovering. "Of course." His eyes light up as he helps you tuck the flower into your hair, then immediately offers you his hand.
As your fingers intertwine with his, you catch a glimpse of Malleus looking rather pleased with himself. The two of you set off on your walk, and the cool night air feels refreshing as you stroll through the nearly deserted campus.
The silence between you isn’t awkward—it’s peaceful. You walk in step with Malleus, both of you just existing in the shared space. Occasionally, you glance over at him, and he meets your gaze with a small smile, looking like he’s perfectly content just to be here with you.
After a while, Malleus breaks the silence. "I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve arranged for something a little… special tonight," he says, his tone carrying just a hint of mystery.
"Oh? What kind of ‘special’?" you ask, curiosity piqued.
"You’ll see soon enough." There’s a mischievous glint in his eyes as he leads you to Diasomnia.
The moment you step inside, you’re hit with a scene that is, frankly, a chaotic masterpiece. The room has been transformed—or rather, overrun—with blankets, pillows, and a massive screen set up at the front. It looks like a makeshift home theater… if home theaters had Malleus-themed decorations plastered everywhere.
Sebek, naturally, is standing near the entrance, looking way too serious for a casual movie night. You spot Silver, slouched on a couch, looking like he’s already resigned to his fate. And then there’s Lilia, standing proudly beside what can only be described as an abomination of a dish.
"Welcome!" Lilia says, grinning as you take in the scene. "I’ve prepared a meal that will enhance your movie-watching experience!"
"By enhance, do you mean threaten our health?" Silver mutters under his breath.
Lilia just winks at you. "It’s a very special recipe. A relic of ancient times!"
"More like an ancient curse," Silver mumbles, though he doesn’t even try to argue anymore.
You bite back a laugh, eyeing the dish with mild suspicion. It’s bubbling. You’re pretty sure it shouldn’t be bubbling.
"Yeah, I think I’ll pass on the ancient relic stew, but thanks," you say diplomatically, backing away just a little.
Malleus, meanwhile, is over by the movie selection, poring over the options like he’s deciding on the fate of the universe.
While you wait, you notice the posters—of Malleus. Everywhere. "Sebek," you say slowly, "why… are there so many Malleus posters?"
Sebek, looking proud as ever, gestures grandly at the posters. "It’s only fitting to surround ourselves with the greatness of Lord Malleus during such a significant event!"
"You mean… movie night?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.
"Every moment spent in Lord Malleus’s presence is significant!" Sebek declares, his voice booming through the room.
You glance at Silver, who’s barely staying awake on the couch. "You’re just… going to let this happen?" you ask him.
Silver shrugs, not even opening his eyes. "I tried. He wouldn’t listen."
Meanwhile, Lilia sidles up to you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Isn’t this just the most romantic setting? Blankets, pillows, and the gentle glow of Malleus-themed lighting?" He wiggles his eyebrows at you suggestively.
You roll your eyes, but can’t help but laugh. "Very romantic," you say dryly. "Nothing says ‘date night’ like staring at your date’s face plastered on every surface."
Malleus returns, oblivious to the chaos unfolding around him, and gently takes your hand. "I believe I’ve found the perfect movie for us," he says.
You nod, smiling up at him, and soon the others—after a bit more banter (and an exaggerated wink from Lilia)—excuse themselves, leaving you and Malleus alone. Well, alone except for the giant Malleus plushie you’ve decided to cuddle.
"You’re… quite fond of that plushie," Malleus remarks, clearly amused as you hug it to your chest.
You grin. "What can I say? It’s cute. Though the real thing is a lot more handsome."
Malleus chuckles softly, his voice low and warm. "I’m glad you think so."
The movie begins, but it’s hard to focus when you’re so comfortable, leaning against Malleus with the plushie in your arms. His presence is soothing, his warmth comforting, and before you know it, you’re resting your head on his shoulder.
Malleus tenses slightly at first, then relaxes, letting out a contented sigh. His fingers gently trace circles on your hand, and you can feel the smile tugging at his lips even though you’re not looking directly at him.
By the time the movie ends, you’re both so relaxed that moving feels like an unnecessary chore. But, eventually, Malleus stands and offers his hand to help you up.
"Shall I walk you back to your dorm?" he asks, his tone as soft as the night air outside.
You nod, still clutching the Malleus plushie. "I’m keeping this, by the way."
Malleus looks genuinely pleased. "I’m honored that you would want a keepsake of me."
You laugh softly, feeling a bit giddy as the two of you walk back to Ramshackle, hand in hand. The stars twinkle overhead, but all you can focus on is the warmth of Malleus’s hand in yours.
When you reach the dorm, Malleus stops at the entrance, gently lifting your hand to his lips for a soft kiss. "I hope you enjoyed our evening," he says, his voice low and sincere.
Your heart flutters, but before you can overthink it, you lean forward and kiss him on the cheek. "I did," you say, grinning. Then, with a quick wave, you bounce inside, feeling giddy and lighthearted.
Behind you, Malleus watches with that same soft, fond smile—the one that makes you feel like you’re the one who hung the moon and stars in the sky.
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You’re making friendship bracelets. A totally normal, human, dorm-room craft project that you figured would be a simple way to spend time with Malleus. Only, you didn't realize that trying to explain the concept of “friendship bracelets” to a fae prince would result in the single most baffling night of his life.
“...so, wait.” He holds up the half-done bracelet, staring at it like it’s a cryptic relic. “This braided string will signify… a bond?”
You nod enthusiastically, handing him another bead. “Yep! It’s a human tradition. It means you’re, like, symbolically connected, so whenever you look at the bracelet, you remember the person who made it for you.”
He stares at the half-finished bracelet with grave intensity, as if he’s holding a sacred relic. “So, this… strand of colored threads… will tether me to you, even in times when we are apart?”
You nod again, trying not to giggle. “Exactly. Just a cute, little reminder of our friendship.”
He considers this with such solemnity that you can practically see him pondering the metaphysical implications of colored yarn.
“What magic does it require?” he asks after a beat, fully serious.
You blink. “Magic? Oh, it doesn’t need magic. It’s… just a bracelet.”
His brow furrows, and he holds up his attempt at weaving, which, frankly, looks more like a knotted ball than anything close to a bracelet. “I see. So, human enchantments rely on symbolism rather than spells.”
You bite back a laugh. “Uh… sure. Yeah, it’s symbolic magic.”
“Fascinating.” He looks down at his tangled knot of yarn, nodding solemnly. “Then I must ensure my own… symbol is woven with the utmost care. For a bond such as ours, it must not unravel.”
You’re halfway through yours when you realize he’s been muttering to himself, beads and string in hand, whispering things like, “May this braid carry my promise of loyalty” and “I vow to protect our bond with the same devotion I would give the throne.”
He even brings his hand to his heart at one point, closing his eyes with the bracelet pressed to his chest. You’re struggling not to laugh as he gives what is essentially a formal vow to the bracelet.
“Malleus,” you say, finally unable to hold it in, “you know it’s just a bracelet, right? You don’t have to swear a whole oath.”
He looks up, slightly flustered. “Ah… right. Of course.” He clears his throat, but there’s a bit of a pink tinge to his cheeks. “Well… if it carries the weight of our connection, I should still approach it with appropriate respect.”
You shake your head, suppressing a smile. “It’s honestly perfect just as it is.”
He holds out the knotted, lopsided braid he’s made, eyes gleaming. “Then, I present to you, my friendship… symbol.”
You accept it with a grin, tying it on. “Thanks, Malleus. This might be the most intense friendship bracelet I’ve ever gotten.”
“Of course,” he replies, smiling gently. “It is a pledge. And… I’ll think of you, whenever I see it.”
You bite back a laugh again, but honestly, his sincerity is so endearing you might just melt on the spot. And as you look at the knotted, chaotic masterpiece on your wrist, you realize you’ve never loved a bracelet more.
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You were desperate. No, really—absolutely desperate. Lilia was busy with some mysterious “business,” and Silver had fallen asleep before you even got your full sentence out. That left…Sebek.
But you thought maybe, just maybe, you could get him to help you pick out a gift for Malleus if you praised Malleus enough to keep him distracted and maybe, hopefully, get him to leave you alone once you found something.
Sebek, however, wasn’t budging from your side.
“This is a sacred duty!” he announced, as you entered the gift shop. “For you to bring a gift worthy of Lord Malleus’s greatness, I shall assist! Do not think of slacking in this matter!”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” you muttered under your breath. Oh, this was going to be a long day.
You wander through the aisles and spot a black dragon statuette. You figure, hey, it’s got that draconic charm Malleus likes, and it’s nice enough without screaming “I tried way too hard.”
“What about this?” you suggest.
Sebek’s nose wrinkles like you just offered him expired milk. “This common tchotchke? Lord Malleus deserves something that reflects the grandiosity of his soul! This is but a disgrace!”
“...Okay,” you mumble, quickly putting the dragon back. “Noted. Next one.”
You take a deep breath, determined not to give up. You find a beautiful leather-bound book, the kind with fancy gold embossing that practically screams “I have depth and culture.” Perfect for Malleus, right?
Sebek looks at it, raises an eyebrow, and says with all the judgment he can muster, “A book? This is not some back-alley rummage sale! Lord Malleus is no mere scholar—he is a being of power and mystery. A mere book is not worthy!”
You’re starting to get a headache. “Sebek, this isn’t a sacred quest. It’s just a gift.”
Sebek crosses his arms. “Then act like it!”
You’re mentally calculating how long it would take to just make a break for it when you spot a crystal snow globe on a nearby shelf. It’s got a tiny castle inside with delicate little frosted details and swirling glitter. Pretty cute, honestly.
“What about this one?” You hold it up, trying to sound as cheerful as possible.
Sebek stares at the snow globe, visibly appalled. “A snow globe? Are you trying to insinuate that Lord Malleus is some… carnival trinket vendor? This is an insult!”
You try to control your breathing. It’s fine. Everything’s fine.
Finally, you turn to him with a smile that’s about five seconds from breaking. “Sebek, it has been a pleasure. But I think I’ll, uh… figure it out myself from here.”
You barely hear him as he starts to object because you’re already halfway out the door.
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Back at Ramshackle, an idea hits you. If you can’t find a gift, you can make one. After scouring the dorm for supplies, you somehow put together a makeshift snow globe with a tiny gargoyle inside, swirling in blue and silver glitter. It’s definitely handmade, but you’re sure Malleus will appreciate it.
Later that evening, you meet Malleus outside, heart pounding a bit as you hold out the homemade snow globe. “I… made this for you,” you say, offering it up.
Malleus takes it, eyes wide with wonder as he examines it, turning it in his hands to watch the glitter float around the little gargoyle. “Did you… make this yourself?”
“Yeah,” you say, rubbing the back of your neck. “Figured you’d like it. And hey, it’s one of a kind, so… now you have something no one else does.”
Malleus’s expression softens, his smile growing into something that practically melts your heart. “Are you… courting me?” he asks, his tone almost mischievous.
You snort. “I am, actually. Thought I’d ask you out…again. Officially.”
Malleus’s eyes light up, and he pulls you into a gentle embrace, holding you as if you’re the rarest treasure. “Then I graciously accept,” he says, his voice warm with laughter.
Sebek’s probably going to be horrified, but that’s a problem for future you. Right now, Malleus is looking at you with an expression that says you’re all he’s ever wanted, and that’s more than enough.
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Malleus Draconia storming into the infirmary was a sight to behold. The door nearly flew off its hinges as he strode in, casting a long shadow over the entire room. Rain poured against the windows like someone had flipped on a faucet, lightning crackling ominously outside as he zeroed in on you with eyes that could’ve cut glass.
“Child of Man,” he intoned, voice a few shades too deep and dark. “I heard you were hurt.”
You, sitting up on the infirmary bed, waved a hand quickly. “Malleus, I’m fine! I’m totally fine! Ace actually took most of the fall for me.”
At that, Malleus’s intense gaze shifted to Ace, who was lying in the bed next to you, bruised, bandaged, and looking a bit like a disaster but still somehow smug. His grin only widened as Malleus took him in, and for once, Ace didn’t seem to have any wisecracks. Not yet, at least.
“Really, I’m okay, Malleus,” you reassured him again, reaching out to gently tug on his sleeve, trying to bring him back to reality. “It was just… a minor accident.”
Malleus let out a breath, his shoulders finally relaxing, and the rain outside softened to a drizzle. But when he saw Ace's injuries, a faint gleam of green magic sparked in his eyes. With a murmured spell, Malleus extended a hand over Ace, and a warm green light enveloped him, healing the bruises and cuts in seconds.
Ace blinked, absolutely dumbfounded as he patted himself down, looking at his newly healed skin. “Woah, hold on. Did… did I just get fae-healed?” He threw a proud glance at Deuce, who looked equally impressed.
“Guess saving someone as important as the prefect has its perks, huh?” Ace grinned, milking the moment for all it was worth.
Deuce elbowed him, eyes wide. “Dude, you got a fae to use magic on you! That’s like… that’s gotta be worth something!”
Malleus, however, seemed completely unaware of their astonishment. He turned back to you, his expression softening. “I’m relieved to see you unharmed, but perhaps we should consider… measures to avoid this in the future.”
You tilted your head, a bit wary of his tone. “Measures?”
“Yes.” Malleus nodded, serious as ever. “I will procure a shield for you. Perhaps one enchanted with protective charms, powerful enough to withstand nearly any impact.” His hand closed over yours, his gaze softening but his words completely, utterly sincere. “I’d rather not see you in danger again.”
At this, you couldn’t hold back a snicker. “A… shield? Malleus, that’s sweet, but I think a little protective magic might be overkill.”
“Absolutely not,” Malleus replied, as if you’d suggested something truly absurd. “Or perhaps I should assign a member of my guard to you. It would be a temporary arrangement, of course.”
Ace, never one to let an opportunity slip by, piped up. “Oooh, how about Sebek? He’d follow them around like a watchdog. ‘Human, beware of the tripping hazard!’ ‘Human', allow me to carry your books to avoid any injury!’”
You laughed so hard at the impression that you nearly slid off the bed. Deuce tried his best to look like he was keeping it together, but the way his shoulders shook betrayed him.
Malleus, apparently unfazed by your amusement, looked back at you with a raised eyebrow. “You mock my concerns, yet I believe this is a practical solution.”
“Oh, I know you do,” you said, wiping your eyes. “But, trust me. I’ll be okay without a magical shield or a Sebek bodyguard. Especially since, well…” You softened, leaning into his chest and giving his back a comforting pat. “You’re here to keep me safe, aren’t you?”
The room went still as Malleus’s expression softened even further, his entire face lighting up at your words. The last of the rain disappeared, leaving only a golden sunset spilling light through the windows.
Meanwhile, Ace watched the two of you with a half-joking pout. “Damn. Imagine being favored by a fae prince and dropping that kind of romantic line. If only Malleus was this concerned with my safety.”
Deuce crossed his arms, pretending to ponder. “You think we could get fae security if we also hung out with the prefect all the time?”
Grim, who’d been lounging on your bed, rolled his eyes. “Listen, you two can argue all you want, but I’m the one who gets the most danger-protection, and don’t you forget it!”
Ignoring the three, you glanced back at Malleus. “Seriously, I don’t need any magic armor, Malleus. As long as you’re around, I’ll be okay.”
For a moment, Malleus just looked at you, a rare and breathtaking smile spreading across his face. Slowly, he raised your hand to his lips, pressing a kiss there, the gentleness of the gesture stealing your breath.
“I shall remain, then,” he murmured, his voice as warm as the sunset. “Though my offer still stands should you ever change your mind.”
You grinned, leaning forward to kiss him on the cheek. “Noted, Your Highness. I’ll let you know.”
With a parting wink and one last hand squeeze, Malleus let you settle back, his gaze lingering on you with an affectionate warmth that softened all the edges of his normally intense demeanor. If you’d known he’d go this far over one little mishap, maybe you’d have considered more dangerous hobbies just to see that side of him.
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The rain was no ordinary downpour, that much was certain. It came in waves, sweeping across the campus like a brewing tempest, soaking students to the bone if they dared step outside. But as the day dragged on and the storm grew more intense, you were pretty sure you knew who was behind it.
You’d tried calling Malleus several times—three missed calls, four, five… and each time, the rain seemed to pour harder. You knew this wasn't just a storm; it was his storm, and whatever caused it had to be serious. When Malleus finally didn’t answer his phone on the sixth call, you felt your worry rise and dialed Lilia instead.
“Ah, you’ve noticed?” Lilia’s voice came through, light but with a hint of concern. “Malleus isn’t usually this… temperamental. Why don’t you come by Diasomnia? I think you might be able to reach him better than anyone right now.”
As the rain continued pounding outside, Lilia whisked you to the dark halls of Diasomnia, both of you making your way to Malleus’s dorm room. You raised your hand and knocked, waiting. Nothing. You glanced at Lilia, who gave you an encouraging nod. You turned the handle slowly, easing the door open.
Inside, Malleus was seated by his window, staring out at the rain-soaked world like some tragic hero in a romance novel. His usually strong and dignified presence seemed... deflated. His shoulders were hunched, and his entire form looked as if it was weighed down by an unseen burden.
"Malleus?" you said gently.
He turned, his eyes widening just slightly at the sight of you. But then his gaze dropped, and he returned to staring out at the rain. “Why did you come?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Why wouldn’t I? You’re clearly upset,” you replied, crossing the room to stand by his side.
He stayed quiet for a moment, as though gathering his thoughts. “I overheard some students talking… about us,” he said slowly, bitterness edging his words. “They said our relationship is… impossible. That it won’t last because we’re too different. That you’d never want to live somewhere like Briar Valley… and that—” His voice broke slightly, and he hesitated. “That no human in their right mind would choose a life there with me.”
His words felt like a dagger, and you could see the depth of his hurt in the way he clenched his hands. The thought of him hearing such hurtful things from people who didn't even know him, didn’t know you, sparked something protective in you. You sat down beside him, reaching out to place your hand over his.
“Malleus, those people don’t know anything,” you said softly but firmly. “They only see what they want to see. But they don’t see you.”
“But… they aren’t wrong, are they?” His voice was so low it almost broke your heart. “Briar Valley is… a kingdom of fae, ancient and isolated. And I… I am not like you. I am seen as a figure of fear by many.”
“Stop it.” You squeezed his hand, forcing him to look at you. “Malleus, you’re not ‘gloomy’ or ‘scary.’ You’re thoughtful and kind. And as for Briar Valley…” You took a deep breath, your eyes shining. “I’d follow you to a volcano if you asked me to, Malleus. And Briar Valley sounds lovely in comparison.”
He blinked, looking genuinely taken aback. “You… mean that?”
“Of course I do.” You felt a smile tugging at your lips, leaning closer to him. “Malleus, I’m… I’m in love with you. I don’t care about where we are, as long as we’re together. Besides, I’d visit my friends; it’s not like I’d be vanishing off the face of the earth.”
He stared at you, wide-eyed, as if you’d just declared the moon was his for the taking. “You… love me?” His voice was barely a whisper, disbelief and hope warring in his gaze.
You squeezed his hand tighter. “Yes, you big dramatic dragon, I do. I love you exactly as you are.” Then, unable to resist, you smiled and added, “You’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. And, if I’m being honest, I think you make a perfect Prince Charming.”
At that, he let out a surprised chuckle, one that you felt all the way to your heart. The rain began to lighten outside, but Malleus wasn’t finished yet. “But… would you truly want to come with me to Briar Valley after graduation?” he asked, searching your face, as if afraid the answer might change.
Your lips curved into a teasing smile. “Is that a proposal, Malleus?”
He blinked, looking at you with such intense sincerity that it made you catch your breath. “Perhaps it is… if that is what you desire.”
You couldn’t help it; you laughed, reaching up to touch his cheek. “Malleus, let’s take this one step at a time. It’s a little too early for marriage, but yes… I’ll come with you. No hesitation.”
Relief washed over his face, his shoulders visibly relaxing as he let out a long, contented sigh. Then, before you knew it, he was cupping your face gently, pulling you close, and pressing his lips softly against yours, his touch filled with both relief and quiet joy. You melted into the kiss, feeling the world around you fall away.
When you finally pulled back, you stayed wrapped up in each other, Malleus resting his forehead against yours. “Thank you,” he murmured, his voice as soft as the rain beginning to stop outside.
And then, as if by magic, the sun began to peek through the clouds. You glanced out the window and gasped—a beautiful rainbow stretched across the sky, its colors bright and vivid against the softening gray.
Outside in the hallway, Lilia noticed the sudden sunlight flooding through the windows. He smirked, crossing his arms as he gazed out at the sky. “Well now,” he murmured to himself with a knowing smile. “It seems the storm has finally passed.”
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Briar Valley's winding paths had become second nature to you. From the thorn-laden trees to the misty moors, it was all oddly comforting now, a world you’d somehow made your own despite the constant whispers of “That magicless human will last a month, tops.”
Yet here you were, strolling with Silver and Grim by your side, perfectly at ease as the Fae here had learned to both respect you and—surprisingly enough—grow fond of you. Perhaps it was your persistence, or maybe the sight of how Malleus practically glowed around you had softened their opinion. Regardless, Silver’s calm, quiet presence made the walk feel almost peaceful.
Silver’s voice pulled you from your thoughts. “Would you take a detour with me for a moment?”
“Uh… sure.” You raised an eyebrow but couldn’t ignore the curiosity blooming inside.
Grim, still trotting alongside you, glanced up with a huff. “If it’s not back to the palace for a feast, count me out. I’m starving!”
He took you off the main path, weaving through a side route cloaked in the kinds of flowers that only seemed to bloom under the moonlight, until you reached the garden.
You noticed the unmistakable glimmer of fae lights strung up along the branches, casting an enchanting glow. Beneath them was a breathtaking arrangement: intricate flowers, delicate linens, and candles flickering gently as if they held their own breath, waiting.
“Silver… what’s this?” you turned to him, only to find he’d vanished, leaving you alone. Grim, however, was very much there, sitting and squinting at the setup as if trying to make sense of it.
“You think he’d at least stick around to explain,” Grim muttered, tail twitching.
Your heart raced, realizing exactly what this setup meant before even seeing him.
And then, as if stepping straight out of a fairytale, Malleus appeared. His dark attire blended almost seamlessly into the night, but his eyes were alive with a glint that made him stand out against everything else. You swallowed, feeling your pulse thud as he lowered himself onto one knee, reaching out to you with a small velvet box in hand.
“Will you—”
You were already nodding so vigorously that he chuckled, his deep voice warm and delighted as he tried to finish. “I have barely started, my love.”
“Sorry, sorry! I’m listening,” you said, though your feet were already itching to close the distance.
“Will you marry me?” His voice was low, intimate, every word wrapping around you as if sealing the two of you together. You swore the whole garden held its breath as the weight of his question sank in.
“Yes!” You practically launched yourself into his arms, the momentum nearly sending him off balance. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you pressed a kiss to his lips, almost dizzy with excitement. He held you firmly, and you could feel his smile against your mouth as he returned the kiss, slow and heartfelt.
When you finally pulled back, catching your breath, you heard the sound of clapping—raucous, joyous applause. Looking over, you spotted Lilia, Silver, Sebek, and Grim, all watching with varying degrees of excitement. Lilia wore a proud, delighted grin, and even Silver looked softer than usual.
Sebek, meanwhile, was visibly struggling to hold back tears, sniffing and blinking rapidly. “My prince… has found his beloved…”
Lilia cackled, nudging him with a wicked grin. “Oh, Sebek! Who would’ve thought you’d be the emotional one? How poetic!”
“I am not emotional!” Sebek said, wiping his eyes. “I’m simply… moved by the occasion!”
Silver shook his head, though his smile remained gentle as he murmured, “Welcome to the family.”
And then there was Grim, who was glaring daggers at anyone who dared glance in his direction. “Pfft… it’s… it’s not like I care, or anything. Dust got in my eyes, that’s all,” he grumbled, pawing at his face, though his sniffling was obvious.
“Oh, Grim,” you laughed, reaching over to scratch behind his ears. He let out a small, begrudging purr, though he immediately caught himself and huffed, turning his back on you all with an indignant “Hmph.”
Malleus turned to them, unable to hide his own joy as he held you close. “Thank you, all of you,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. Your eyes twinkle with mischief as you add, “I suppose you three can’t get rid of me now.”
Malleus chuckles, and Lilia grinned, placing a hand on his chest as he gave you a dramatic bow. “We wouldn’t dream of it. I mean, you’re the only one who’s managed to survive here, make Malleus happy, and deal with Sebek. That alone earns you a medal.”
Sebek opened his mouth, clearly ready to defend himself, but Silver beat him to it with a subtle nudge. “Come on, Sebek. You know it’s true.”
“Fine, but—” Sebek cut himself off with a sigh, his expression softening once more. “I am happy for you, truly.”
You beamed, touched by the sincerity in his voice. You knew Sebek’s respect wasn’t easy to earn, but it made the moment even more meaningful.
Lilia clapped his hands together, eyes dancing with mischief. “Oh, the Briar Valley will be singing tales of this day for centuries. I’ll make sure of it.”
“Lilia,” Malleus said, a warning in his tone. “Please don’t exaggerate.”
“Oh, I don’t need to exaggerate,” Lilia said with a gleeful grin, his eyes alight with a hundred mischievous ideas. “You’ve done that for me by being your overly poetic self. ‘The magicless one who tamed the dragon prince’ will practically write itself.”
“Perhaps we could skip the ‘taming’ part,” you muttered, blushing at Lilia’s teasing. But you caught Malleus’s gaze, and the depth of emotion there silenced everything else.
He pulled you close, his forehead resting gently against yours. “We can let them say whatever they wish,” he murmured, his voice for your ears alone. “So long as you’re by my side.”
“Always,” you whispered back, and as his arms held you close, you glanced over to see the others clapping and cheering—and yes, even Grim was sitting proudly beside Silver, nodding as if this had all been his doing.
The future had never looked brighter.
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1k Masterlist ; Main Masterlist
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psychedelic-ink ¡ 8 months ago
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ㅤㅤㅤ✦ 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐘
ㅤㅤjoel miller x plus size!f!reader
genre: romance, flowershop au, jackson era, minors dni
word count: 7k
summary: you own a small flower shop in Jackson, when Ellie comes to visit, your life inevitably becomes tangled with the man who cares for her; joel miller.
warnings: age gap, piv in the middle of a flower field, no one sees, praise kink, some angst because joel, oral (fem receiving)
a/n: hello everyone! it's been a while and honestly, life has been kicking me in the gut lately with everything its got.
This originally was a commission, reader had a name and I've been working at it for months but sadly the person who commissioned be backed out last second saying they weren't interested anymore meaning I'm not getting paid for this work. Again, it's on me. Admittedly I've been slow on commissions due to my living situation and work and I should've taken half the payment upfront but trusting it was a joel fic I didn't really take extra precautions.
I decided to share it anyway, and the person who commissioned me said that I could. Any kind of writing has been hard for me to do lately and I really like how this one turned out. But since now I'm not getting paid for this work I decided to take out readers name and make some changes to the overall plot that I was given.
Sadly, I can't take any more commissions at the moment before finishing the ones I have left, but I'd be grateful for any kind of support you guys can give. I need to move out this summer (if I don't, I don't have a shadow of a doubt that my aunts will tell me to leave anyway) and I've been trying to save up as much as I can. Everything just has been a lot lately and I'm feeling anxious about my decisions and lost.
Again, any kind of support is greatly appreciated even tho I know I don't deserve it at this time:
my kofi
**dividers by @saradika-graphics 💜
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You unlock the door to your quaint flower shop, the antique bell that you found and Tommy fixed chiming softly in greeting. Stepping outside, you're immediately embraced by the warmth of the morning sun, its golden rays dancing playfully on your skin. The air carries the unmistakable scent of spring, a delicate blend of fresh blossoms and earthy notes that fills your lungs with every inhale.
Dressed in a flowing dress, you feel perfectly in tune with the season as you begin arranging the colorful array of flowers on display outside your shop. The fabric of your dress sways gently in the breeze, a soft symphony of movement that mirrors the graceful dance of the petals.
Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes and tilt your face towards the sky, basking in the gentle caress of the sun's rays. Above you, the cerulean expanse is dotted with fluffy white clouds, their shapes shifting and morphing with each passing moment.
With practiced hands, you arrange the blooms with care, each stem finding its place in the intricate tapestry of colors and textures. The vibrant hues of the flowers contrast beautifully against the backdrop of the weathered brick walls of your shop, creating a scene that's both inviting and enchanting.
As you work, you can't help but smile at the thought of the joy these flowers will bring to those who pass by. It’s been hard adopting to a new and broken world, but ironically, you have found your passion. Something to make you eager to get up in the morning. Of course your heart still ached for those you had lost, the suffering, but working on flowers, something living and growing and adapting just like you managed to lighten the weight on your heart. Whether it's a simple bouquet to brighten someone's day or a thoughtful arrangement for a special occasion, your creations have a way of spreading happiness and light wherever they go.
With the last of the flowers arranged to perfection, you step back to admire your handiwork, a sense of pride swelling within you. With a contented sigh, you turn to head back inside, ready to greet the day with open arms and a heart full of gratitude.
That is, until, you hear a surprised gasp. 
“Holy shit—” 
Turning around at the sound, you're met with the sight of a familiar face. A young girl you've seen around town quite frequently. You haven’t officially met her yet, but you know her name: Ellie. 
Realizing that the young girl has never visited your flower shop before, you understand the source of her surprise. With a warm smile, you approach her and greet her by name. "You're Ellie, right? Tommy's niece?"
Ellie nods enthusiastically, her eyes bright with excitement. "Yeah, that's me! Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I've just never been here before. The flowers are... fucking amazing—"
She suddenly claps a hand over her mouth, looking towards you apologetically. The gesture makes you laugh.
"I'm glad you like them," you reply, feeling a sense of satisfaction at her reaction. "Feel free to take a closer look if you'd like."
Her eyes light up at the invitation, and she eagerly follows you inside the cozy flower shop. The atmosphere inside is warm and inviting, with shelves lined with potted plants and bouquets of flowers in various stages of bloom. Sunlight filters through the windows, casting a soft glow over the space and illuminating the vibrant colors of the blooms.
As you lead Ellie further into the shop, you can't help but notice the curious glances she casts around, taking in every detail with a sense of wonder. The air is filled with the subtle fragrance of flowers, a delicate scent that lingers in the air and adds to the charm of the space.
"So, Ellie," you begin, breaking the comfortable silence as you approach a display of freshly cut flowers, "Anything you like? I’d be more than happy to gift you some."
Ellie's eyes sparkle with excitement as she looks around the shop. "Really? But there’s so many, how can I even choose?"
"Well, you're in luck," you reply, gesturing towards the colorful blooms around you. "I can just make you a bouquet of everything. Just pick out your favorites."
Ellie's gaze drifts over the display, her expression thoughtful as she considers your question. "Hmm, that's a tough one, they all look so fucking cool," she muses, her brows furrowing slightly in concentration. "How about sunflowers and. . . daisies? There's just something about them that feels... I don't know, hopeful, I guess."
You nod in understanding, a fond smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Sunflowers are a wonderful choice. They symbolize warmth, happiness, and positivity. Definitely a fitting choice for someone as vibrant as you, Ellie."
She grins at the compliment, "Thanks,. So, what about you? Do you have a favorite flower?"
“That’s a tough one, but I’d had to say daffodils. They just make me feel right at home. . . even though home has become a difficult word.” 
She doesn’t answer you, at least not in a way that you would expect. She nods and says,
"Let's add some daffodils to the mix too. If that’s okay.”
“If course it is. I said any flower didn’t I?”
With Ellie's choices in mind, you set to work gathering the blooms she selected, expertly arranging them into a vibrant bouquet. Your hands move with practiced precision, the gentle rustle of petals and stems filling the air as you weave the different flowers together.
Each blossom is a work of art in its own right, vibrant hues mingling together in a harmonious dance of colors and textures. Sunflowers, with their golden petals reaching towards the sky, stand tall and proud at the center of the bouquet, symbolizing warmth and happiness. Daisies, with their delicate white petals and cheerful yellow centers, add a touch of innocence and purity to the mix. And finally, the daffodils.
Beside you, Ellie watches with rapt attention, her eyes shining, "It's so pretty," she remarks, her voice filled with awe.
You smile at her words, feeling a sense of pride swell within you at the sight of her delight. "Flowers have a way of bringing joy and beauty into our lives," you reply, your voice soft with reverence. "They remind us to appreciate the simple things and to find beauty in the world around us."
Finally, the bouquet is complete, a stunning masterpiece that radiates warmth and joy. You present it to Ellie with a flourish, a sense of satisfaction washing over you at the sight of her delighted expression.
"It's perfect," Ellie exclaims, her eyes shining with excitement as she admires the bouquet in her hands. "Thank you so much. This is amazing."
"It was my pleasure," you reply, your heart swelling with happiness at her words. "I'm glad you like it. And remember, if you ever want to learn more about flowers or need some help with anything, you know where to find me."
Ellie nods eagerly, her enthusiasm infectious. "Definitely. Thanks again. This means a lot."
As Ellie turns to leave, a sudden thought seems to strike her. She pauses, her hand on the door, before turning back to face you with a mischievous glint in her eye.
"Hey," she begins, a playful smile dancing on her lips, "do you need a flower assistant? I mean, I’d be nice to work here, and you seem really cool."
"Well, Ellie," you reply with a teasing grin, "If you're serious about helping out around here, I'd be more than happy to have you on board."
Ellie's eyes widen,. "Wait, really?" she asks, her voice tinged with disbelief. "You mean it?"
You nod, your smile genuine as you reassure her. "Of course. I could use all the help I can get, especially during busy times. And besides, it'll be fun having you around. Consider yourself officially hired as my flower assistant, Ellie."
A grin spreads across Ellie's face, her eyes sparkling with excitement at the prospect of working alongside you in the flower shop. "Wow, I don't even know what to say," she admits, her voice filled with genuine gratitude. 
"No need to say anything," you grin. "Just don’t be late."
As Ellie nods, a sense of anticipation fills the air, signaling the beginning of a new chapter in both of your lives. With a shared sense of excitement and determination, you and Ellie set to work, ready to take on whatever challenges and adventures the future may hold for your blossoming partnership.
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The next day unfolds with a golden hue, promising another beautiful day in Jackson. As you prepare for the day ahead, a sense of excitement tingles in the air knowing that you'll be mentoring Ellie, your newfound flower assistant. Ellie arrives earlier than you expected, her eyes oozing with sleep.
"Good morning, Ellie," you greet her with a warm smile, gesturing for her to come closer. "Ready for your first day?"
Ellie grins back, nodding enthusiastically. "Absolutely. I’m just not used to waking up so early."
With a chuckle, you lead her to the work table, where several potted plants await repotting. However, before diving into the day's tasks, Ellie's curiosity gets the better of her.
"How do you find all these flowers?" she asks. "I mean, with the infected and everything, it must be hard."
"I have a few spots outside of Jackson where I like to go to collect flowers. There's a field not too far from here that's brimming with all sorts of blooms."
Ellie's eyes widen and you can tell she's intrigued by the idea of venturing beyond the safety of the town's walls. "That sounds amazing," she breathes, her voice filled with wonder. "Do you go there often?"
You nod, a fond smile playing on your lips as you recall the countless trips you've taken to the flower field. "Yes, whenever I need to restock or find something special," you reply. "But I've also started growing some flowers myself. It's a work in progress, but it's been rewarding to see them bloom."
"That's so cool," she exclaims. "I'd love to see the field sometime, if you're up for it."
With a grin, you nod, "I'd be happy to take you," you reply. "But for now, let's focus on getting these plants repotted. We'll save the field trip for another day."
As if on cue, the shop door swings open, and a customer steps inside, a worn backpack slung over their shoulder. They approach the counter with a friendly smile, their eyes scanning the colorful array of blooms on display.
"Good morning," you greet them with a smile, your attention shifting to the customer. "How can I help you today?"
The customer returns your smile, reaching into their backpack to retrieve a small item wrapped in cloth. "I have something to trade," they explain, placing the item on the counter before you.
You unwrap the cloth to reveal a delicate piece of jewelry, a handmade necklace adorned with intricate beads and charms. It's a beautiful piece, clearly crafted with care and attention to detail.
Ellie watches with interest as you examine the necklace, her curiosity piqued by the exchange taking place before her eyes. "What are you trading for?" she asks, her voice filled with curiosity.
You glance at Ellie with a smile, impressed by her keen observation. "Well, Ellie, sometimes customers trade items in exchange for flowers," you explain, turning back to the customer. "It's a way for them to get something they need while also supporting the shop. As for how I decide what the flowers are worth, it's based on a few factors—like the rarity of the flowers, the time and effort it took to grow them, and of course, their beauty."
With a nod, you accept the necklace, carefully placing it aside before selecting a beautiful bouquet of flowers to offer in exchange. As the customer leaves the shop, their smile brighter than before, you can't help but feel a sense of satisfaction knowing that you've made another person's day a little bit brighter.
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“Ellie, I’m not sure me bargin’ into your new workplace is the best introduction,” Joel says.
“You’ll be fine,” she says, dragging Joel by the arm. “Besides, weren’t you the one grumbling about not liking me spending all my time with a stranger? What else was I fucking supposed to do?”
Joel lets out an elongated sigh. “Language.”
He can’t see it, but he knows she’s rolling her eyes at him. The tiny, rundown flower shop soon comes into view and Joel can’t help but think of all the improvements he could make: the crooked step, the splintered door, the moss growing from the bottom of the woody exterior—
This shop won’t last next winter, he thinks with furrowed brows. And even though he’s been skeptical about Ellie spending all of her time here, he’s seen the improvement in her mood. Things just haven’t been the same since their return from the hospital, he couldn’t shake the distant feeling between him and her no matter how hard he tried. It had become something even he couldn’t fix.
But then, one day, she’d come home with the most beautiful bouquet of flowers he’d ever seen, with a wide smile plastered across her young face. Then she mentioned the keeper of the shop. Ever since then, his interest had been piqued.
Approaching the shop, he notices a figure outside arranging flowers, your silhouette bathed in the warm morning sun. You appear younger than he anticipated, your beauty catching him off guard. The way your dress contours your curves adds to your allure, a sight unexpected yet captivating. A gentle breeze tousles your hair as you work, momentarily leaving him speechless.
Contrasting his hesitation, you bound up to the shop with your usual cheerfulness. "Hey there!" Ellie calls out. The woman turns at her greeting, a genuine smile gracing her lips as she sets down the flowers. "Good morning!" 
He hangs back, observing as Ellie effortlessly initiates a conversation with you. Your interaction flows with ease, suggesting a familiarity beyond your brief acquaintance.
While you chat, an unsettling feeling settles within him. There's an inexplicable pull towards the shop owner, despite his attempts to resist. Watching Ellie interact with you stirs a strange longing within him, leaving him more unsettled than before.
Before he can dwell on his thoughts further, Ellie snaps him out of it. "Joel, don’t be a stranger! Introduce yourself, she's the one I've been telling you about."
With a sigh, he steps forward, his approach cautious. As your eyes meet, a peculiar sense of recognition passes between you, as if you've crossed paths in another life.
"Hi," he manages to say, his voice gruff yet not devoid of warmth. "I'm Joel."
As he clasps your hand, a spark ignites between you, a connection unfurling with each passing moment.
“Joel?” you say slowly, as if tasting his name in your mouth. “Joel as in Tommy Miller’s brother?”
Your hand feels soft and delicate as it clasps his own, and he can't help but notice the subtle tremor in your fingers. It's a small detail, but it speaks volumes, hinting at a vulnerability that he hadn't expected from this beautiful stranger.
"Yeah, that's me," he responds with a nod, offering a friendly smile in return. "Tommy's my brother."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Joel. Ellie speaks very highly of you."
As you exchange pleasantries, he finds himself drawn to the warmth in your gaze, a warmth that seems to seep into his very soul. There's an openness about you, a genuineness that he finds both refreshing and disarming.
While you talk, he can't help but be captivated by the way your lips move, the gentle cadence of your voice. It's a strange sensation, this sudden fascination with a woman he's just met, but he finds himself unable to look away.
Your conversation is interrupted by Ellie's playful interruption, and he reluctantly tears his gaze away from you, feeling a pang of disappointment at the thought of leaving your side. But as they follow Ellie into the shop, he can't shake the feeling that meeting you has stirred something within him, something that he can't quite articulate.
Entering the shop, he can't help but notice even more things wrong– the creaky floorboards, the peeling paint, the flickering lights overhead. It's evident that the place is in dire need of renovations.
Despite the less-than-ideal surroundings, Ellie's excitement is contagious, and he finds himself getting swept up in the moment. She points out various flowers, their vibrant hues and delicate petals bringing a welcome burst of color to the dreary environment.
"These lilies are my absolute favorite," Ellie exclaims, thrusting a handful of flowers towards him with a mischievous grin.
He can't suppress a surprised sneeze as the pollen tickles his nose, and they both dissolve into laughter,and momentarily, all his concerns seem to fade away.
But just as they're catching their breath, you enter the room, your presence once again capturing his attention. There's something about you that intrigues him, a warmth and kindness that draws him in effortlessly.
A sheepish smile spreads across his face as your eyes meet. You return the smile, your gaze gentle and understanding, and for a fleeting moment, it feels as though you're the only two people in the room.
“Who helped you fix the place up?” Joel asks you as Ellie runs off to change the water of the vases. “
"Tommy actually," you explain. "He's been a tremendous help, especially with all the repairs."
Joel’s brows knit together and he ignores the way your smile falters as he speaks, “Well, leave it to my brother to do a shit job. This shop won’t last next winter.”
“O–Oh. . .” you hug yourself, thumbs moving along the contours of your arms. His heart sinks in, leave it to him to make someone feel bad.
“Not to say it can’t be fixed,” he continues abruptly. “I can help you out. Wouldn’t want Ellie’s new favorite spot to get buried under the snow.”
“Really?” you gasp, smile returning. “You would do that?”
“‘Course. Why wouldn’t I?”
“I just. . . I just wasn’t expecting such an offer thank you. It means the world to me.”
Suddenly Joel feels stiff from how deeply you stare at him, and then he realizes how close they are, only a breath away between their lips. He turns his head, grunting, “Don’t mention it,” a stuttered breath leaves him. “Really. Don’t.”
Your growing smile surprises him, as does your not backing away.
“You got it, Mr. Miller.”
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Watching Joel work on fixing the roof of the shop, you can't help but feel a flutter of warmth stir within you. His muscles ripple with each movement, his arms bulging with strength as he lifts heavy beams and hammers nails into place. Beads of sweat glisten on his forehead, catching the sunlight and creating a halo of light around him.
You find yourself mesmerized by the sight, unable to tear your gaze away from the sight of him. His white tank top clings to his chest, damp with sweat, and the short-sleeved flannel he wears hangs open, exposing the tank top underneath. Every movement sends a shiver down your spine, and you can't help but feel a flush of heat rise to your cheeks.
The sound of his grunts fills the air, low and guttural, and it sends a thrill through you that you can't quite explain. There's something primal about the way he works, a raw energy that draws you in and leaves you feeling breathless.
You watch as he reaches up to adjust a beam, his muscles flexing with the effort, and you can't help but imagine what it would feel like to run your hands over his warm, sweaty skin. The thought sends a shudder coursing through you, and you quickly look away, feeling flustered and embarrassed by the intensity of your thoughts.
But no matter how hard you try to focus on something else, your gaze keeps drifting back to Joel, drawn to him like a moth to a flame. And as you watch him work, you can't help but feel a strange sense of longing stir within.
But for now, all you can do is watch and admire from afar, content to bask in the warmth of Joel's presence as he works tirelessly to repair the roof of the shop. And as you watch him, you can't help but feel a sense of gratitude wash over you.
You take a deep breath, steeling yourself with determination as you clutch the bowl of freshly picked black mulberries and raspberries in your hands. With a quick glance up at Joel, who is perched precariously on the ladder, you gather your courage and make your way outside.
"Hey, Joel!" you call out, your voice tinged with nervousness as you approach the ladder. "I brought you some fruit and iced tea. Thought you could use a break."
Joel looks down at you with a grateful smile, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. "Thanks. That sounds great."
As he descends the ladder, you can't help but feel a surge of excitement mingled with nervousness. With each step he takes, you steal glances at him, unable to tear your gaze away from the sight of him.
But it's when he reaches the bottom of the ladder and stretches upwards to take the bowl of fruit from your hands that you feel your breath catch in your throat. The movement causes his tank top to ride up slightly, revealing a sliver of his stomach, and you swallow thickly at the sight.
As Joel settles down to enjoy the fruit and iced tea, you find yourself drawn to the empty spot next to him on the porch. With a nervous glance in his direction, you take a seat beside him.
The warmth of the wooden porch beneath you contrasts with the cool breeze that sweeps through, and you can't help but feel a sense of calm settle over you as you sit beside Joel. The silence between you is comfortable, broken only by the occasional sound of birds chirping in the distance.
“Lovely day, ain’t it,” Joel takes a bite of the freshly picked black mulberries, the deep purple juice stains his lips, a stark contrast against the ruggedness of his features, and you find yourself mesmerized by the sight.
The juice glistens in the fading sunlight, tracing a vivid trail along his lips as he savors the sweetness of the fruit. Each movement of his jaw seems deliberate, each bite a study in pleasure as he indulges in the simple pleasure of the moment.
A soft breeze rustles through the trees, lifting strands of his hair and sending them dancing in the golden light. But your gaze remains fixed on his lips.
The silence and sight makes you light-headed and eager to say anything, no matter how idiotic it might be. 
“Aren't you a little old to be doing this much heavy lifting?” 
“Aren't you a little too young to be lookin’ at me like that?” 
Your shoulders rise, blood rushing to your head as you look down. Your heart thuds loudly in your chest. Butterflies flutter madly within you, the wings tickling the insides of your stomach. You only swallow. “Your lips are stained from the mulberry.” 
“Whatever you say, sweetheart.” 
He takes another one, biting down with his lips, he finds your gaze. You watch a tiny drop go down his chin. The two of you are close. So incredibly close. It’s been like this since he started working on the shop. A pull that is too hard to ignore. 
“Well,” he breaks the silence. “Better finish up before the sun sets.” 
Joel stands and your heart breaks a little. You blink from where you’re sat, staring at him, yearning for him. 
“Yeah. Wouldn’t want you trying to find your way home in the dark.” 
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“You know, I could’ve come here on my own. I always do.” 
“I know. Just wanted to make sure you have someone lookin’ after you.” 
“For someone to be known as a grump, you’re quite a softie.” 
“I’m leavin’.” 
“No—!”
Your fingers close around his arm, the warmth of his skin sending a shiver down your spine. For a moment, you find yourself frozen in place, your pulse quickening as you realize just how close you are to him.
Joel's gaze meets yours, and you can see a flicker of something in his eyes, something that makes your heart race even faster. His eyes drop to your lips, lingering there for a moment before snapping back up to meet your gaze. You notice the hints of a fading smile, “You were joking,” you say slowly, letting go of him. 
“That I was, wildflower,” he doesn’t move away and neither do you. Your breath catches within your throat, the moment stretching between your two like rubber. Before you can say anything Joel’s eyes flicker to something behind you and he smiles. “I think we’re here.” 
As you turn around, your heart skips a beat. The field of flowers stretches out endlessly, a sea of color and beauty that seems to go on forever. The grass has grown taller since the last time you were here, swaying gently in the breeze and creating a soft, rhythmic rustle that fills the air.
The sun hangs low in the sky, casting a warm golden light over the landscape and setting the flowers ablaze with color. Reds and yellows, blues and purples, a riot of hues that dance and swirl in the gentle breeze.
You take a step forward, the grass crunching beneath your feet as you walk further into the field. The scent of poppies and blue hyacinths fills your nostrils, sweet and intoxicating, and you can't help but close your eyes and breathe it in.
The wind sweeps across the field, sending waves of grass rippling in its wake. The sound is soothing, a gentle whisper that seems to carry you away on a tide of tranquility.
For a moment, you forget about everything else – the worries and the doubts, the uncertainties and the fears. All that matters is the beauty of this moment, the beauty of this place, and the beauty of being here with Joel. 
With a rush of emotion swirling within you, you turn to Joel, your heart pounding in your chest as you meet his gaze. He's still standing close, his eyes locked on yours with an intensity that takes your breath away.
Without thinking, without hesitating, you lean forward and press your lips to his. At first, Joel is taken aback, his body stiffening in surprise. But then, he caves, his lips moving against yours in a slow, tender rhythm.
His hands come up to cradle your face, his touch gentle yet firm, as if he's afraid you'll disappear if he lets go. You feel his tongue on your bottom lip and open up for him eagerly, the taste of him feels like electricity shooting through you. Heat pools between your legs, Your breasts tingle with the mere thought of having his hands on them, nipples aching and hard. 
Joel breaks away briefly, then closes the distance again. Small hisses against your swollen lips over and over until neither of you can breathe. He hungers for it almost. And so do you. “Joel,” you whisper, eyes cloudy. “Please.” 
“Is that what you want, wildflower?” he drags his nose down the side of your cheek, facial hair scratching delightfully against the sensitive skin of your neck. “For me to fuck you here? Right out in the open?” his voice trembles. “Like animals?” 
“God, yes—” your insides clench. “I would want nothing more. Been thinking about you since the day I met you, your hands, your mouth, you as a whole.” 
His hands drop to your ass and he gives the tender flesh a strong squeeze, “You want me?” 
“I do.” 
You suddenly find yourself on the ground, the grass tickling your exposed legs and arms, the skirt of your dress rolled up to your waist. Joel’s weight is a welcoming comfort on top of you, another gust of warm wind blows. With a groan, he pulls down the sweetheart neckline of your dress, exposing both your breasts. While holding one, he kisses the other, drawing the stiff nipple into his mouth. He sucks harshly, your body jolting with pleasure. The soaking mess between your legs grows. 
“Joel,” you moan, back arching. “Fuck—” 
He swirls the tip of his tongue around the nipple and grazes his teeth against it. Calloused fingers play with the other. Your mind is swimming in pleasure. He brings the skirt of your dress further up and traces his lips down the fabric, when you look down, you see him between your legs, his eyes darker than normal as he stares into your soul. The tips of his fingers dance along the elastic of your panties, asking for permission. 
You breathe out a yes, barely audible, but he nods and tugs the fabric down. When he latches his mouth on to you, the world stops. His mouth feels divine. His tongue delves between your folds, the bridge of his nose rubbing against your clit. You shudder against him and he moans into you. The reverberations of the sound force a gasp out of you and you swear you feel him smiling. 
His fingers trace patterns along your thighs, teasing and stroking as his mouth works wonders between your legs. You're on the edge, the pleasure building up with each flick of his tongue. You reach down and bury your fingers in his hair, pulling him closer, guiding him where you need him the most.
Joel picks up the pace, his tongue moving faster, his fingers slipping inside of you. You can feel your body starting to tighten, the coil in your stomach about to unravel. You grip onto him tighter, your hips bucking against his mouth, and with one final flick of his tongue, you come undone.
You cry out his name, your body shaking with the force of your orgasm. Joel continues to lightly lick and suck, drawing out your pleasure until you're completely spent. He makes his way back up to your lips, kissing you deeply as you both catch your breath.
“That was…” you trail off, unable to find the right words for the mind-blowing experience you just had.
“Amazin’,” Joel finishes for you.
You nod, still a little breathless. You wrap your arms around him, pressing your body against his. Joel's hands roam over your back, his touch sending shivers down your spine. You can feel his erection against your thigh, and you know that he needs release just as much as you do.
“Been so long since I’ve tasted somethin’ this sweet,” he rasps. “Thank you.” 
You hear the blood rushing in your ears, “You’re the sweet one,” you mumble, tenderly touching the scratchy surface of his cheek. “So sweet.” 
He smiles and as he kisses the curve of your palm, shuffles above you, starting to get up. A deep frown forms between your brows. “And where are you going?” you pout, wrapping your arms around him. You feel the outline of his length as he lowers himself once more, the tips of your noses brushing against one another.
“I thought you wanted to gather some flowers.” 
“Not yet,” you murmur, eyes glazed. “At least, not before feeling you inside me.” 
“Fuck, darlin’,” he lets out a whimpering breath, grinding himself against your bare cunt. “You really know how to get a man goin’.” 
“Prove it.” 
His eyes flicker with an emotion you can’t quite describe. His breath stutters, then, without even looking, he unbuckles himself, never breaking eye contact. Joel’s hair ruffles with the wind, yet he doesn’t even blink. The head of his cock catches against your clit, ripping a moan from your throat. He fills you with one sloppy thrust, the length of him stretching you enough to have your eyes rolling to the back of your skull. 
“Joel—Oh my god—” 
“That’s it, good girl, takin’ my cock so well. Feels good?” 
Slack-jawed, you nod. He goes deeper. “Want you to feel me for weeks, wildflower. And I want you to think of me every time you come to this god—” thrust. “—damn” thrust. “—field.” 
You can only moan at his words, his hands grip your lovehandles, squeezing and pulling you closer to him every time he rocks forward. His head falls into the crook of your neck, sinking his teeth into the sensitive skin, he sucks. Your body convulses, shaking against him. 
Sparks ricochet through every limb of your body as you feel the heat pooling in your core. Joel moves his hand from your lower back to cup your breast, his fingers teasing and plucking at your nipple. The pleasure ricochets through your body, making you feel like you're on fire.
“Come for me, darlin’.” Joel growls into your ear, his voice rough and primal. “Come on my cock.”
His words send you over the edge, your body shaking and convulsing beneath him as he continues to thrust into you relentlessly. The world blurs around you, all your senses consumed by the feeling of Joel's body against yours.
"Joel—" you moan, your voice lost in the wind as you reach your peak. 
He groans in response, his thrusts becoming more erratic as he chases his own release. After one final, deep thrust, he pulls out and spills over your stomach, his body shaking against yours. You both ride out the waves of pleasure until finally, you collapse against each other, panting and spent.
You lay in the flower field, a tangled mess of limbs and sweaty bodies. Joel's arms are still wrapped tightly around you, his face buried in your neck as he tries to catch his breath. You run your fingers through his hair, feeling the warmth of his body.
"I've never felt anything like this before," you say quietly, almost to yourself.
Joel lifts his head to look at you, his eyes softening. "Me neither, wildflower. Me neither."
As the sun begins to set, you both lay there, entwined in each other's arms. The field has become a symbol of something more than beauty. And as long as those flowers bloom, you know your love for each other will continue to grow.
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A week. 
A week without hearing from him, seeing him, touching him. 
A painful week. 
It’s almost as if he never existed. As if the moment in your favorite field was nothing but your imagination. The only reason why you know it's real is because Ellie still comes by every day, and despite knowing it’s impossible, you still feel him deep inside. It only heightens whenever you have to travel back to the field to gather flowers for the shop. 
You watch as Ellie places more daisies into a vase. She’s been her usual self, joking around, telling you about all the details of her life. It’s hard not to ask her about Joel and how he’s been. 
Some nasty part of your mind whispers words of discouragement, telling you he only wanted you for your body, for your charm, and got what he wanted. Your heart clenches. It might be true. You were young after all, emotional, broken. He’d already gone through all that, killed to stay alive, for loved ones, gone through grief—why would he want to take on another’s problems as well? 
“Hey, Ellie?” 
She turns to you, eyes slightly wide due to the rasp of your voice, “Yeah boss?” 
“Can you watch the shop for a second, I have something I need to do that I forgot about.” 
You don't wait for her nod as you exit the shop. You know he’s home. He has to be. 
Luckily it doesn’t take you long to reach their house, your knock is loud and swift. You know you’ve taken him by surprise by the expression when he opens the door. His mouth is slightly ajar, his brows knit together. 
“What are you—” 
“I came to talk,” you brush past him, heading inside. Joel lingers at the door but soon after follows you inside anyway. 
He sighs, “What do you want to talk about?” 
You take a deep breath, steeling yourself for what's to come. "Us," you reply, your voice steady despite the turmoil raging inside you. "I need to know what happened, Joel. Why you've been avoiding me."
Joel's jaw clenches at your words, his gaze flickering away for a moment before returning to meet yours. "I ain't good for you," he says, his voice rough with emotion. "You deserve better than someone like me."
You feel a surge of anger rising within you at his words, frustration bubbling up to the surface. "That's for me to decide, Joel," you say, your voice tinged with defiance. "I'm not some fragile flower that needs to be protected. I can make my own choices, and right now, I choose you."
Joel's expression softens slightly at your words, but there's still a hint of sadness in his eyes. "You don't know what you're saying," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm a mess, a broken man with too much blood on his hands. You deserve someone who can give you the world, not someone who can barely keep himself together. You’re young. You still have so much ahead of you—"
“No! That’s not what I want. I want you, you’re the only person who’s made me feel like. . . like myself. . .before. And wanted.” 
Your voice begins to shake, you see the hesitation within his body, hod his hand slightly moves forward to hold you, to touch you, but he doesn’t. 
“I can’t do this to you,” his hands slide into his pockets, he gestures to the door. “Get out.” 
The blood freezes in your veins, your eyes grow wide, your chest constricts, “What?” 
“I said to get out,” he repeats, a little louder this time. “Get out, please.” 
And you do. 
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“You need to get your shit together.” 
“Language, Ellie, dammit.” 
She glares at him from across the table. It’s an early morning, earlier than he’d liked. He’s been feeling hallowed out ever since your visit. He could see the hurt in your eyes, the betrayal. He knew that he’d broken something when avoiding you, something tender and not so easily fixable. 
But what was he supposed to do? You were young, he didn’t want to trap you, didn’t want you to throw the best years of your life for an old man like him. 
Briefly, he squeezes his eyes shut. His head hurts. All he can think about is you, your body, how eager it was to take him, the delectable curves he couldn’t get enough of. 
He misses your taste on his tongue. 
“She’s miserable too, you know.” 
Joel’s eye snap wide open. “Who?” 
“You know who,” she shakes her head. “I don’t know what happened between you two, but she’s definitely upset and so are you—Just fix it. Don’t be an asshole” 
He let’s out a sigh, she’s right. He needs to fix this somehow. Joel stares at Ellie, her words hitting him harder than he expected. He hadn't realized just how much his actions had affected not only you but also Ellie. The weight of his own guilt settles heavily on his shoulders, a constant reminder of the mess he's made.
"Yeah," he mutters, his voice rough with emotion. "I know."
He runs a hand through his hair, the tension in his muscles making every movement feel heavy and strained. He knows he needs to make things right, to somehow find a way to mend the rift he's created between you and him.
But how? How could he possibly make things right after everything that's happened?
"I'll talk to her," he says finally, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'll fix it."
Ellie nods in approval, her expression softening slightly as she looks at him. "Good," she says, her tone gentle. "Because I don't want to see either of you hurting anymore."
She was right and he knew it. 
“The shop’s closed today,” Ellie says as he grabbed his jacket. “I don’t know where she is.” 
But he did. He knew exactly where you would be. The place he tasted you, the place he felt your body against him. 
Joel's heart sinks as he approaches the flower field and sees you sitting there, your shoulders hunched over as you hug your knees to your chest. He can hear your sobs from a distance, the sound echoing through the quiet morning air.
For a moment, he hesitates, unsure of what to do or say. But then, with a heavy sigh, he pushes aside his doubts and makes his way towards you.
As he draws closer, he can see your whole body trembling with the force of your emotions. His heart aches at the sight, knowing that he's the cause of your pain. He kneels infront of you, gently touching your wrists.
"Hey," he says softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "It's me, Joel."
You startle at the sound of his voice, lifting your head to look at him with tear-streaked eyes. For a moment, there's a flicker of surprise in your gaze, followed by a wave of raw emotion.
"Joel?" you choke out, your voice thick with tears. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to find you," he says, his voice filled with regret. "I couldn't stand the thought of you hurtin’ like this."
"I thought... I thought you didn't care," You sniffle, wiping away the tears with the back of your hand. 
Joel reaches out to gently brush a strand of hair away from your face, his touch light and tender. "I care more than you know," he says. "I made a mistake, a big one, and I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I just didn’t want you to. .  .I didn’t think I deserved someone like you."
"I missed you," you admit softly, tears still streaming down your cheeks.
Joel's heart clenches at your words, a rush of emotion flooding through him. Without hesitation, he wraps his arms around you, pulling you close as you bury your face against his chest.
"I missed you too, wildflower," he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. "And I promise, I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy."
He hears the smile in your voice. 
“You already do.” 
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iamgonnagetyouback ¡ 1 month ago
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𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐍𝐒
♡ ︎ꜱʜɪᴘ: Theodore Nott x Reader
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Theodore Nott didn’t understand you. In fact, he was fairly certain that nobody understood you. Yet, as he leaned against the library’s stone archway, watching you float through the corridors like some ethereal, pastel dream, he couldn’t look away.
You were all bouncy curls and matching bows, a perpetual smile plastered on your face as if you were in a constant state of blissful daydreaming. You stopped abruptly to crouch down, whispering to a group of ducks that had waddled in from the Hogwarts lake. Yes, actual ducks. They quacked in reply, as if they were in on the conversation.
“Of course,” Theodore muttered under his breath, pushing himself off the wall and walking over, curiosity getting the better of him.
When he got close enough, he heard you giggling, a sound that, against his will, made the corner of his mouth twitch upward.
“And that’s why you shouldn’t fly too close to the Whomping Willow,” you were saying seriously to the ducks. “It doesn’t know how to make friends properly, but we should still be kind to it.”
Theodore raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms. “Are you giving life advice to ducks now?”
You looked up at him, eyes twinkling. “Theo!” you chirped, as if him showing up was the most delightful surprise you could’ve imagined. “I’m not giving advice. I’m just making sure they know the dangers around here! It’s very important.”
He sighed. Of course, it was.
“Do you ever stop smiling?” he asked, though the question was softer than he intended.
You grinned even wider—how that was possible, he didn’t know. “Why would I stop? There are so many things to be happy about!"
He glanced at you. “I don’t see the point in getting excited over things that happen every day.”
You stood up and clasped your hands together, staring at him with those impossibly bright eyes. “Oh, Theo, you poor, gloomy boy,” you said dramatically, putting a hand on your heart. “You must be starving for joy!”
“I’m not starving for anything,” he said, though he suddenly felt a little unsure about that.
“Oh, but you are!” you declared, twirling around him in a circle. “You need some color in your life, some adventure, some—”
“Flowers?” he interrupted, gesturing to the daisy chain you had managed to loop around his arm while he wasn’t paying attention.
“Exactly!” you said, your eyes twinkling. “Flowers make everything better. See? Now you look like a prince from one of those old fairy tales!”
Theodore glanced down at the delicate chain of daisies and sighed again. “This isn’t helping my reputation, you know.”
You just smiled innocently. “Who cares about reputation? Life is more fun when you don’t worry so much.”
“I’m not worried,” he said quickly. “I just—don’t understand you.”
“That’s okay,” you said softly, standing still now, your voice like a gentle breeze. “You don’t have to understand me, Theo. But you could try… enjoying things a little. It wouldn’t hurt, would it?”
Theodore opened his mouth to respond, but you weren’t waiting for an answer. Instead, you grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the courtyard.
“We’re going on an adventure!” she announced.
“We are?” Theodore asked, though he was already being tugged along.
“Yes! Look at all the flowers blooming today! I bet we can find the perfect ones to make a crown for you. Wouldn’t that be fun?”
Theodore groaned, but something warm flickered in his chest. “Darling, I am not wearing a flower crown.”
“We’ll see,” you sang, skipping ahead with him in tow.
As you reached the courtyard, you released his hand and flitted from one patch of wildflowers to the next, gathering blossoms and humming a tune. Theodore leaned against a pillar, watching you with an exasperated, almost fond expression. How could someone be so relentlessly joyful?
“Found it!” you called out, holding up a daffodil triumphantly. “This is the one. It’s your flower.”
“My—what?”
“Your flower,” you repeated with utmost seriousness. “Daffodils mean new beginnings. They’re perfect for you.”
Theodore raised an eyebrow. “I don’t need a new beginning.”
“Everyone needs new beginnings sometimes,” you said softly, tucking the daffodil behind his ear. “Even grumpy boys like you.”
He swallowed, suddenly very aware of how close you were. Your scent—something like wildflowers and sunshine—was intoxicating. For the briefest moment, Theodore wondered if maybe, just maybe, there was something to your endless optimism, your constant smiles.
“Do you always fall in love with everything?” he asked, his voice quieter than before.
You paused, your fingers lingering near his face. “I fall in love with the beauty in things,” you admitted, your gaze steady and sincere. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t notice the hard parts too. I just choose to love it all anyway.”
He stared at you for a long moment, something unfamiliar tugging at his chest.
“You’re impossible,” he muttered.
“And you’re adorable,” you replied, grinning again.
Theodore sighed, though this time, there was a hint of a smile on his face. “I still don’t want a flower crown.”
You giggled, plopping the half-finished daisy chain on his head. “Too late! You’re already the flower prince of Hogwarts.”
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It was a little ridiculous how happy you were, and it drove Theo absolutely mad.
But not in the way he wanted.
“Good morning, Theo!” you chirped as you bounced into the common room, your shoes making soft tap tap sounds on the stone floor. You held a handful of daisies, which you promptly began to sprinkle over the Slytherin table, because, in your words, “Even dungeons need love!”
Theo looked up from his book, his brow furrowing. “What are you doing?”
“Making everything prettier, of course,” you replied with a giggle, twirling around to place a daisy behind your ear. “The dungeon’s so gloomy. Don’t you think flowers brighten the place up?”
He blinked at you, his eyes flicking from the daisies to you, then back to his book. “I don’t think flowers are going to solve the fact that we live underground.”
You gasped dramatically, clutching the flowers to your chest like he had just offended your entire soul. “Theo! How could you say that? Flowers solve everything!”
He grumbled something under his breath, flipping the page of his book with more force than necessary. “Whatever. Do what you want.”
And that was how it always went. You would always find some way to make Theo’s carefully crafted gloomy world a little brighter—much to his dismay. Yet, somehow, despite himself, he couldn’t help but let you.
Like that time you convinced him to walk with you through the Forbidden Forest, not for some grand adventure, but because, in your words, “The sunlight looked so pretty through the trees.” Theo had rolled his eyes so hard he thought they might fall out of his head, but still, there he was, trudging alongside you, hands stuffed deep in his pockets, grumbling all the while.
And then there was that one time during Potions class, where he sat quietly at his desk, scribbling notes, and you… well, you were busy tying tiny bows on the vials of ingredients. Professor Snape wasn’t impressed, but when he told you to stop, you just smiled and said, “But Professor, it’s just so much nicer this way!”
It was ridiculous. You were ridiculous.
And he was utterly and completely… charmed.
Not that he’d admit that, of course. Theo was far too grumpy, far too Theodore to ever say something like that aloud. But he didn’t mind that you sat next to him in every class, constantly filling the space with your endless chatter about how beautiful the stars looked last night or how you had named the toads in the courtyard after each of the Hogwarts founders. He didn’t mind how you always found a way to make him a little less… grumpy, even if he pretended otherwise.
One day, as you skipped down the hall beside him, your arms full of flowers you had picked from Merlin-knows-where, you suddenly stopped dead in your tracks, eyes wide as saucers.
“Theo! Look at the sky! It’s pink! And orange! Oh my gosh, isn’t it the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?”
He stopped too, glancing up at the sky, his expression flat. “It’s just a sunset.”
“Just a sunset?” you gasped, grabbing his arm and tugging him closer to the window. “No, no, it’s not just a sunset, it’s magical. Don’t you feel it? The colors, the warmth! It’s like the sky is telling a story!”
He looked at you then, really looked at you. The way your eyes sparkled with excitement, the way your lips curled into that bright, infectious smile. You were staring at the sky like it was the most wonderful thing you’d ever seen, and somehow, in that moment, he thought you looked more magical than any sunset could ever be.
“Theo?” You waved a hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his daze. “What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing,” he muttered, shaking his head as he tried to focus on something, anything that wasn’t how ridiculously soft and pretty you looked in the pinkish-orange glow of the sky. “You’re just… weird.”
You grinned up at him, undeterred. “Weird? That’s the best compliment you’ve given me all week!”
He rolled his eyes again, though his lips quirked up ever so slightly. “Yeah, well… don’t get used to it.”
But you saw right through him. “You like me, don’t you, Theo?” you teased, nudging him with your shoulder.
“Absolutely not,” he shot back, though the redness creeping up his neck betrayed him.
You giggled, that sweet, melodic sound that made his heart do stupid things in his chest. “It’s okay, I like you too.”
He groaned, running a hand through his hair. “Merlin help me…”
But as you linked your arm through his and started humming a happy little tune, skipping alongside him down the hall, he couldn’t help but smile just a little.
Maybe, just maybe, sunshine wasn’t so bad after all.
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soulofapatrick ¡ 1 month ago
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“Patience, love.” - Azriel x female reader
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Summary: Azriel gets home from being away and has even more work to do before he can tend to you
Words: 3.2K
Warnings: Smut; cockwarming
Notes: Two Azriel stories in one day?!
Y/N's POV
I sit with Nesta and Cassian in the cozy living room of the House of Wind, the warm glow of the fire crackling in the hearth casting flickering shadows along the walls. Nesta’s sharp wit and Cassian’s booming laughter fill the space, their playful banter about training sessions and Illyrian wingspans enough to keep me entertained—for the most part.
But even as I smile along with them, my mind is elsewhere, thoughts drifting to him. To Azriel. It’s been days since I’ve seen him, his absence leaving a hollow ache in my chest. I’m just about to add something to Nesta’s argument when I feel it—soft at first, like the brush of a feather. Then, stronger. A pull. A familiar, soul-deep tug on the bond that links me to him, wrapping itself around my heart with a tender, insistent pulse. Azriel.
I sit up a little straighter, the change in me instantaneous. It's like a jolt of life surges through me, a spark that had been dulled in his absence now reigniting with full force. My heart skips a beat, joy swelling so suddenly inside me that I can’t stop the bright, eager smile that stretches across my face. The world seems to sharpen, colours brighter, sounds clearer, as if everything in the room has come into focus with that single, unmistakable tug. He’s home.
Cassian’s eyes catch mine, the knowing look in them unmistakable. He’s seen this before. I don’t even need to say it—he knows. He leans back, crossing his arms with a teasing smirk as if to say, Go on, then. Nesta pauses mid-sentence, her expression confused as she glances between us.
I can barely sit still, the urge to move, to find him, overwhelming. “I—” I stammer, already rising from my seat. “I need to go.” My voice is breathless, and I can feel the flush rising in my cheeks, the warmth of excitement spreading through my entire body.
Nesta arches a brow, clearly about to ask why I’m leaving so suddenly, but I’m too far gone, my mind entirely focused on the one person I need to see. “Sorry!” I call over my shoulder as I dash from the room, leaving the half-finished conversation behind. I can feel Nesta’s confusion lingering in the air, but it doesn’t matter—not when he’s home.
My feet pound against the floor as I rush down the hall, my heart thudding in sync with the bond’s steady pull. The corridors of the House blur around me as I pick up my pace, the excitement bubbling inside me, spilling over. Every step brings me closer to him—closer to Azriel.
I can almost feel his presence now, that comforting, grounding sensation that only he brings, and a desperate need blooms in my chest. I need to see him, feel his arms around me, the cool touch of his shadows curling around my skin. I can barely breathe with how badly I want him right now.
Rounding the corner, I nearly skid to a halt in front of our door, my breath coming fast, my fingers trembling as they close around the handle. Azriel’s home—the thought pounds through my veins, dizzying me with anticipation, and I push the door open, stepping into the room where I know he waits.
As I step into the room, my breath catches in my throat at the sight of him. Azriel is seated at his desk, the soft glow of the lamp casting warm light over the planes of his face, making him look almost ethereal. He looks up as the door clicks shut behind me, and the second our eyes meet, a soft smile tugs at his lips—those rare dimples appearing, the ones that never fail to send my heart racing.
His hazel eyes, a swirl of green and gold, brighten at the sight of me, that unreadable mask he so often wears slipping just enough for me to see the affection there. His dark hair, tousled from the day, falls slightly into his face, and he brushes it aside with a scarred hand. The elegant planes of his face are impossibly beautiful, his golden-brown skin glowing in the dim light. Broad shoulders and powerful muscles, shaped by centuries of Illyrian training, are framed by his massive wings, their black membranes stretching behind him. He looks like a warrior, a king—yet, in this moment, he is simply mine.
Azriel shuffles his chair back without a word, the soft sound of the wood scraping the floor echoing in the silence between us. His eyes never leave mine, and with that same gentle smile, he opens his arms slightly in invitation. It’s all I need. I cross the room in a few quick strides, my body practically vibrating with the need to feel him, to touch him after so many days apart.
Without hesitation, I straddle his lap, feeling his strong thighs beneath me, his scarred hands immediately gripping my hips to steady me as I settle against him. I giggle, breathless, and his smile widens, a soft laugh escaping his lips—a sound I rarely hear, but one that fills me with warmth. His fingers dig into my hips just enough to keep me from falling off the chair, and I feel the tension drain from my body the moment his warmth seeps into me.
"Careful," he murmurs, his voice low and smooth, his breath fanning across my skin. And then, he pulls me closer, drawing me into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around me as if he never wants to let go. He buries his face in the crook of my neck, breathing me in, his nose brushing against my skin as his wings curl slightly inward, forming a protective cocoon around us.
I melt into him, my hands sliding up his strong shoulders and into his hair as I cling to him. For a moment, we stay like this—wrapped in each other, feeling the bond between us hum with contentment, with home. But then, his lips move against my neck, the faintest brush of his mouth against my skin, and my breath hitches. Slowly, he lifts his head, his eyes darkened with something deeper now, and before I can say a word, he kisses me.
The moment our lips meet, everything else fades away. His kiss is soft at first, gentle, like he’s savouring the taste of me after being apart for so long. I can taste the faint hint of mint on his lips, feel the warmth of him seeping into me, the smooth press of his lips against mine as they move slowly, sweetly. His hands slide up my back, pulling me impossibly closer, and I can feel the steady beat of his heart beneath my chest, grounding me in this moment.
But the kiss shifts. Slowly at first, then with a growing urgency. The bond between us tightens, a sharp pull, and suddenly, I’m not just kissing him—I’m devouring him. I grip his hair tighter, my nails scraping lightly against his scalp as I deepen the kiss, feeling his responding growl vibrate through my chest. Azriel’s hands tighten their grip on my hips, pulling me flush against him, and I feel the heat of him, the strength of his body beneath me. My heart races, and all the want and need I’ve been holding back during his absence surges forward in a tidal wave of longing.
His tongue brushes against mine, and the taste of him—so familiar, so intoxicating—makes me dizzy. The kiss becomes desperate, consuming, the bond between us sparking like wildfire, reigniting that primal pull I feel whenever I’m near him. I need him now. The warmth in my chest turns into a burning ache, and my hands slip down to his chest, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt as I press myself even closer, as though I can’t get enough of him.
He growls softly against my lips, his wings flaring behind him as the bond crackles between us, both of us teetering on the edge of control. Azriel breaks the kiss just long enough to meet my gaze, his hazel eyes now dark with desire. His voice is rough when he speaks, barely a whisper. “I missed you.”
Before I can respond, his lips crash into mine again, harder this time, the kiss filled with all the pent-up need, the longing, the hunger. The bond pulses, wild and insistent, and I can feel the desire coil low in my belly, a deep, aching need that only he can fill. I need him now—no, I need him now, the mating bond pulling us both into a frenzy of want, of overwhelming, all-consuming need.
Without a word, one hand finds my panties, fingers finding their way to my already wet core, a proud smirk gracing that beautiful face, “All for me?” 
I’m nodding almost so hard I’m sure I’ll get whiplash, an ache deep inside of me needing Azriel now.  My hips jerk down, trying to get him to sleep one into my aching heat but he clicks his tongue softly, his scarred fingers exploring, tracing a line from my extract up to my clit, spreading my ever-growing arousal. He moves a hand up to my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze when he draws a tight circle over my clit, watching the way my breath catching in my throat and my brain seems to turn to mush. 
Azriel. Need. Need now. Azriel. Az-
Before I can finish the thought, his voice cuts through the haze of desire clouding my mind, sharp and teasing, yet so achingly calm. “Now now, I still have work to do before we can play.”
His words snap like a whip, jerking me out of the intoxicating fog of want, and I freeze, the fire in my veins suddenly roaring hotter, fiercer. I pull back just enough to meet his eyes, my breath ragged and shallow, my pulse thundering in my ears. He’s smiling—smirking—as if he doesn’t feel the same sharp, clawing need that’s twisting inside me.
I can feel the heat pooling low in my belly, my skin buzzing, a desperate ache between my thighs that makes it hard to think, hard to breathe. The bond pulses violently with my desire, a tidal wave of need that crashes into him, and I know—I know—he can feel it. The raw hunger, the gnawing need to be closer, to tear down the walls of restraint he’s so carefully built between us. But his words hang in the air, like cold water dousing the inferno inside me.
I bare my teeth, frustration bubbling over as a low growl rumbles from my chest. Anguish grips me, a burning, agonising frustration that has me trembling in his lap. I can’t stand it—the thought of being denied him, even for a moment longer. My hands tighten their grip on his shoulders, fingers digging into the hard muscle beneath his shirt as I press myself closer, my body desperate for the touch of his skin, the feel of him inside me.
“Azriel,” I hiss, the plea tangled with raw need, my voice almost unrecognisable. “I can’t—” I can’t finish the sentence, too overwhelmed, too consumed by the sharp, aching pull of the bond, the primal need coursing through me like a live wire. My entire body is screaming for him, and the restraint he’s showing, the patience in his voice, only fans the flames of my frustration.
But he just chuckles. That low, rumbling sound of amusement spilling from his lips, as if my need, my desperation, is nothing more than a game to him. It ignites something in me, the flicker of anger sharpening my need into something almost unbearable. His eyes—those beautiful hazel eyes, darkened with lust—gleam with equal want, with the same hunger I feel. But beneath it, there’s control. A maddening, ironclad self-restraint that makes his jaw click as he holds back
His hands go back to my hips, resting firmly on them, his grip tightening just enough that I can feel the tension coiling in his muscles, the barely-contained desire pulsing through him. His wings twitch behind him, his body taut with the effort to hold himself in check. I can see it—the way his eyes darken with every breath I take, the way his gaze drops to my lips, lingering there as though he’s seconds away from devouring me.
He wants this. He wants me, just as badly, just as fiercely—but he’s holding back, holding himself at bay with that damnable, infuriating control. His teeth grind together, his jaw clenching as he restrains the need that’s clearly mirrored in my own. The way his hands tighten on my hips, the way his wings flex—it all tells me he’s fighting against the same pull, the same hunger.
“Azriel,” I growl again, my voice rough and edged with desperation. I lean in, pressing my lips to his ear, my breath hot against his skin. “You’re killing me.”
He chuckles again, but it’s strained now, his control wavering for just a heartbeat. His voice is rougher this time, the tension evident as he murmurs, “Patience, love.”
But patience is the last thing I have. I can feel the bond vibrating between us, the wild, untamed magic of it pulling us both into the whirlwind of lust and need. It’s a cruel thing, to feel the burning want in every fibre of my being and know he’s holding himself back from giving in, from letting go. And it’s driving me mad.
His eyes flicker with something dark and dangerous as he watches the frustration in my gaze, the primal need that has me trembling in his lap. His jaw ticks again, that battle for control raging within him, and I can see it—the moment he almost breaks, the moment the restraint frays and the want claws its way to the surface.
And gods, I want him to break. 
“Stand up.” He suddenly demands and I find myself doing so, watching, practically drooling as he sheds some of his armour. My thighs clenching together as his hands move to his belt, unbuckling it, fingers pulling the zipper of his pants down and I’m swallowing hard at the tent. 
How big he is never fails to make me worry that he won’t fit me despite us being made for each other. Azriel’s glancing up at me as he frees himself, stroking a hand up and down his weeping length and I can’t decide what I want in me more. Those deft fingers or his throbbing dick, both making me almost fall to my knees in front of him from wanting something. Anything.
“Sit.” Azriel’s voice is choked and rough as he reaches forwards and grips my hips, helping me straddle his waist again. My thighs feel shaky already as he lines himself up for me to sink down easily, our bodies molding to each others like they had never been apart before.I go to raise myself up, desperate to move, to ease the overwhelming tension pulsing through my body, but Azriel’s low, deep growl reverberates through his chest, rumbling against my skin. His scarred hands tighten their grip on my hips, stilling me with a firm, unyielding hold. “Patience, love,” he murmurs, his voice a silken warning, his restraint absolute.
“Az—” I begin, but his name falls short, caught in my throat, the word turning into a helpless sigh.
Oh, angel. This man is going to be the fucking death of me.
I know I make a muffled sound of anguish, my lips pressing against his shoulder, my body trembling from how close I am to what I so desperately need. But he won’t let me move. He won’t. Despite being buried inside me, to the absolute hilt, filling me fuller than I ever thought possible, he keeps me still, locked in place, holding back the release we both crave.
My nails dig into the hard muscles of his shoulders, almost painfully, as I fight the primal instinct to rock my hips, to seek that friction I so desperately need. But Azriel—damn him—keeps me pinned against him, his grip firm, unyielding. Every muscle in my body is taut with the tension of it, the ache between my legs a sharp, throbbing pulse that borders on torture.
I burrow my face into the crook of his neck, desperate for some form of release, and without thinking, I bite down on the soft skin there—almost too hard. His breath hitches, sharp and sudden, his body going rigid beneath me for a moment, and I feel a dark sense of satisfaction knowing I got a reaction out of him. His jaw clenches, the want flaring hot in his eyes, but he doesn’t give in.
Instead, his hand leaves my hip, moving slowly, deliberately, to card through my hair. His fingers tangle in the strands, a soft, rhythmic motion that sends an unexpected wave of calm washing over me. I hadn’t realised how badly I needed that gentle touch in the midst of all this aching, burning need. His thumb brushes the side of my temple, and despite the insistent pulse between my thighs, the raw desire clawing at my every nerve, I feel a strange, soothing warmth spread through me.
His hand strokes through my hair again, and again. It’s maddening, the way he can have me teetering on the edge of ecstasy and still manage to lull me into this state of almost… blissful surrender. As if his touch alone could make me forget the ache in my body, the way he’s buried so deep inside me yet keeping me utterly still, trapped in this agonising limbo.
I bite him again, though softer this time, trying to fight the pull of drowsiness creeping up on me. But Azriel’s hand continues to pet my hair, his voice a low murmur of comfort I can barely make out over the sound of my own ragged breaths. Somehow, impossibly, the gentle motion is lulling me, sending me into a state of slumber despite the sharp ache between my legs, the unfulfilled need twisting deep inside me.
I don’t want to sleep. I don’t want to drift away. But I can feel my body surrendering, my eyelids growing heavier with every soft stroke of his fingers. It’s as if my exhaustion is finally catching up with me, and though the desperation still burns hot in my veins, I know he won’t leave me like this for long.
Azriel’s hand stills for a moment, his lips brushing against the crown of my head as he whispers, “Rest, love. I’ll wake you when I’m ready.”
When he’s ready. The thought should frustrate me, should make me want to push away, to demand more—but there’s something in the way he says it. A promise. And I know—I know—that when he’s ready, he’ll give me everything. Everything we both need.
So I let myself drift, trusting him to wake me when the time comes, trusting him to fulfill that promise. The ache is still there, pulsing between my thighs, but for now… for now, I let the exhaustion win.
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ACOTAR Masterlist TAG LIST - updated 12th Oct 2024
515 notes ¡ View notes
arcanesea ¡ 3 months ago
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beautiful
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PAIRING: bang chan x reader GENRE: established relationship, fluff WC: 624 WARNINGS: detailed mention of insecurities
“how are you so beautiful?” you blurted out of the blue. you were lying comfortably in chan's lap, getting distracted by his ethereal features. his hand stops stroking your hair, peeling his eyes from the cartoon playing on the TV. you offer him a sheepish smile, like those lovesick teenagers.
“are you saying that because i actually am or because you just like me?” he teases you. he can’t lie though, his heart skips a beat when you voice out the question so casually, so innocently. he never knew how to take on a compliment, and you don’t necessarily make it sound like one by the way you candidly say those kinds of things in your mundane routine.
you click your tongue, repressing a smile that’s about to bloom.
“i mean it, you know,” you continue saying. he chuckled before lowering his head to kiss your forehead.
“thank you?” he said more like a question. and you’re holding back from rolling your eyes. one of those days, you’d let it slide (you have tons more compliments to throw at him anyway), but today was not one of those days as you sit up from your position, adjusting yourself to face him. his hand hangs mid-air, throwing you a confused look.
you take it with both hands, placing it in front of your heart (in hopes of sharing all of your truest feelings with the man you love the most).
“listen, channie,” you start, you scoot forward to him until your knees are touching the side of his thighs. you sigh, thinking, this would be so cheesy, but you’d do anything to make this man see what you see every day. “you’re beautiful, the most beautiful person i ever met, the most beautiful person alive.”
“how?” he asks again. because for him, beauty is subjective, it’s a preference.
you look at him for a moment, you want to whip out your diaries, reading all of the entries about him. his eyes search for yours amidst the silence and that’s when it struck you—
“your eyes,” you start again, feeling warmth dominate your heart as you gaze into those pair of russet brown irises. “it’s the color of autumn, when you stand under the sun, it turns into a brighter, honey color. and it’s sweet, and it gives me a sense of home.” he smiled and there was a crinkle on the corner of his eyes that showed his sincerity.
“you look even more beautiful when you smile” you bring a hand closer to his face, poking the dimple that complements his smile. “this is practically my favorite feature.”
and if his eyes are autumn, then his smile is spring. the way he’s able to bring the energy just by smiling is astonishing to you.
you place a hand on his cheek. and warmth radiates from the spot you touched. like the summer sun, without the overbearing heat. and it’s cute and you still have a lot in your pocket.
and he can read you because he quickly pulls your body, enveloping you in a snug embrace that could save you from the excruciating cold in winter.
“don’t say anything more please,” he said shyly. you smile, placing your face in the crook of his neck. you would do this a thousand times more. you would shout about how beautiful he is from the top of the building if you could.
he smiled as he pressed a kiss to the side of your hair. his heart filled to the brim with emotion; pride, joy, love, and awe. and he wonders if it’s possible to be more content than this moment right now.
and oh, how you pledged yourself to shower him with all the love he deserves.
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a/n. i think this was inspired by one of his bbl messages i am soooooo whipped for this man it's unbearable.
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