#my head hurts and I need coffee
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Guys I've been having a very stubborn case of insomnia for about three months now and nothing I've tried seems to help, please hit me with some advice if you can? :')
#or just hit me literally. on the head with something heavy so I can sleep#I've posted this on main already and not much came of it so I'm trying here too#my methods so far:#I don't drink coffee or energy drinks at all and I don't consume anything caffeinated not even green tea past 4pm#I drink lavender tea in the evenings#I have a very steady bedtime routine#and I take 3mg melatonin an hour before bed#my problem is that even after doing all this I just lie awake for a while and then fall into shallow sleep#and it's very fragmented I wake up very often#and then I wake up early in the morning without even needing an alarm and I can't fall back asleep for the life of me#so I'm just constantly exhausted and my head hurts and I've got tinnitus like all day#personal#posts from yahar'gul
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My cold has turned into a sinus infection so I’m currently trading off between being so dizzy I can barely lift my head and being jazzed out of my mind on sinus meds
#rebs blogging#Given that it’s after midnight and I’m wide awake typing this I’ll let you guess which it is currently#I react so strangely to sinus meds I usually try to avoid it but my head hurts sooooo badly#I’ve actually gotten it manageable by taking one every three hours instead of two every four hours and then an extra long break as needed#So I’m just at ‘drank an entire coffee all at once’ and not ‘my skin is wrong everything is moving wrong I want to not be a person anymore’#But I took the last one too late so I’m up for the foreseeable future which is probably not the best for my recovery
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anyways before i sleep i counted some numbers so here ko-fi has a travel goal now woo
basically this counts for the rest of my travel expenses (trains from home to the airport and back and travel in london), food, the most important activities outside the shows already paid for, and then theres a bit of an extra buffer on top to even it out and to make it as comfortable as possible
anything is appreciated, if youve ever enjoyed my work please consider at least sharing this, or buying a commission as i have the smallest ones open rn (at the time of opening this, to fully cover this with the commissions i would need to sell 135 of those. just putting it out there how cheap they are lol)
this is just the one fun thing im gonna have this year im fairly certain, and since the biggest payments are already made (plane tickets, hotel and both shows im going to are paid for) and im for sure making this trip anyways, this is just to ensure a safe rest of the travel and that i dont have to overly stress about funds and stuff while im out there
that is all. thank you 💜
#just editing this i dont wanna make a new post mmm#but yeah. just. trying to get this out there#i know 117 comms sounds like a lot but also i can bang these out pretty fast if needed and i have nothing but time so like. im gonna do it#if i have to. im not comfortable enough to open the rest and i dont have printer ink to get stickers done (plus i dont really like them...)#anyways. heres a thing. i need coffee my head hurts#night is an absolute mess on main
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Thinking about how when dazai left the mafia chuuya couldnt use corruption for 4 years and immediately when he was prompted to use it again with dazai he did without question or concern.
#i need a lobotomy#seriously get them out of my head#bsd#nakahara chuuya#skk#bungou stray dogs#dazai osamu#soukoku#Drinking a coffee so expect some posts#LIKE I USED CORRUPTION BECAUSE I TRUSTED YOU HURTS ME SOOOOOO MUCH
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managed to make both of the phone calls I needed to, and was supposed to get an intake form from the gender clinic. our partner got his (he made his intake appointment minutes after mine), but mine never came and that + a few other things floating around my head have destroyed my previous good mood.
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Leftovers gone bad (Patreon)
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Villainsona#Still vent-like! Helped put my head in order anyhow so - helpful :)#Sweet Coffee to lower Charm's anxieties hehe <3 Who could have ever guessed how accurate he'd be!#I really do need to sit down and give everyone names he deserves one! He's only ever had the one name (not Coffee lol)#His first attempt wasn't great lol way to intentionally misinterpret his meaning Charm#It's hard to be positive in that kind of mindset but he's trying to help!#Coffee does also have foot-in-mouth syndrome tho so there's that lol#Doesn't Try to minimize or callously redirect he really does try his best he's just still a bit clumsy haha#This was never his practice! He's always been a troublemaker of a kind!#He's just getting his practice in haha#Oh yeah and he gets a new outfit since I was offline while drawing him pft#He's always been androgynous he's allowed to have the clasps on the other side - even if it does make him off-model lol#He's always had masculine closures on his clothes now that I think of it....I think? Might need to go through his backlog actually#Then again I'm talking about the character he used to be and not necessarily who he is now lol - moving character from fandom to fandom#ANYway lol#Isn't this supposed to be about Charm or something who's the main character again pft#Charm's canonical least favourite feeling is feeling foolish! It's The Feeling that makes her seek out the Staff#But! She's (trying to be) reformed! So that's not really an option! Doesn't make the feeling go away tho#She carries the same response with her since she hasn't figured out how to healthfully respond to it#So anything that creates That Feeling is scary! She doesn't have an out! Feels cornered - and that stress adds to it#What if This Thing makes her feel That Way when she doesn't want to! She /wants/ to trust and love and be happy and healthy#But the precedent#Reminding her that she doesn't have to repeat her actions just because it Feels a certain way is important!#It's not something you have to run away from or lash out against - it hurts but it's momentary#Promise :)
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laying here in bed at 5pm on the 4th of July listening to the storm outside and seriously debating bulk-buying 90 coffee cakes. as one does
#Seven.txt#food mention#cw food mention#the price is fucking insanely low per cake. so it’s either the steal of the century or i’m gonna get ripped off#i can’t make sense of the description. it’s $75 for 15 6-packs. so 90 cakes. And free shipping??? i don’t trust it#it says that the ‘package’ weighs 8.4lbs. but then it says the package is 6ct. so is it 8lbs PER 6-pack???#THATS 126 POUNDS OF COFFEE CAKE#NO WAY THEYRE GONNA SHIP THAT FOR FREE#but. but if All 90 cakes = 8.4lbs… that’s less than an oz per cake. so like???#am i doing that math wrong??? 8.4 pounds divided by/into 90 cakes. = 0.09#wait. no. yes. bc. 1.0 is a pound. so. 0.1 would be. no wait r#wait that’s a tenth. i need a sixteenth#my head hurts#i gotta convert. hang on#gotta turn pounds into ounces. so. 8.4 x 16 = 134.4#then divide That by 90. right??? so. 134.4 ÷ 90 = aaalmost 1.5. so. they’d be 1.5oz cakes. tiny things#but the product image is of the 14oz cake. not the mini#and there’s no mention of mini. and even the mini cakes are 3.18oz#so what the hell is going on#smh all this just for some coffee cake. but no store sells it for 50+ miles!!! and i Crave it#am i rlly gonna risk this. i mean. even if it Is tiny cakes. it’s still less than a dollar each#but i’m scared they’ll charge me for shipping afterwards even tho it Says free at the checkout#i don’t trust it. something doesn’t add up. but the store has good reviews#the item doesn’t have any tho. i mean. they probably wouldn’t charge to ship 8lbs. so. it’s probably 8lbs of tiny cakes#:( but. but the image… and the description… hhhhhhh i hate making decisions#but god. the tiny chance of actually getting 126 pounds of cake for 75 dollars. imagine#could i even eat it all before it expires. sigh. man. it can’t be real. no way. not for 75 bucks free shipping#somehow i’m gonna get ripped off#not me struggling with basic math and making risky financial decisions on main
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honestly a lot of things about a lot of characters in Ranpo Kitan makes sense when you think about the fact that they are basically teenagers
#Akechi ''raaaah I am AN EDGY GUY WHO SOLVES CASES FOR FUN. My head HURTS. THIS PAIN WON'T GO AWAY SO I OVERDOSE ON MEDICATION AND#CANNED COFFEE.'' and hashiba (bless his soul) goes ''wow what a horrible person you are. My friend Kobayashi who finds it funny to be#accused of wrongfully killing his teacher would never. Let's go Kobayashi''. And some ten episodes later Akechi is ugly crying and going#''i lied. I actually kin hashiba'' and then Kobayashi gets kidnapped by Namikoshi and roped into a suicide plot. Because why not#the plot is a hot mess and frankly ridiculous at times but sometimes that's what you need to heal your soul#anyways#ranpo kitan: game of laplace#kk's rambles tag
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youre the "IM CRAZY IM CRAZY YOU HAVE NO IDEA IM CRAAZY no im normal im normal again" mutual, both ways. also rn damitim haha 💖
QJDKDKSJS LMAOO I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO TAG @chipmunkery IN THIS FOR THE BIT AT THIS POINT ASJCKSKSJSK
Also yeah Im in my damitim era and we all love that for me. Everyone clap
#batsasks#i got like 3ish hrs of sleep i srsly crashed RIGHT before you messaged me lmaooo#🫘 this was a terrible idea#love the idea that I'm forcing everyone to cope with me and my damitim era#sitting you all down and saying listen. this is what Im doing rn and you are going to LIKE IT#something something im not trapped in here w all of you#you're all trapped in here w me#reaffirming this bc the alternative is panicking and feeling pressured and not enjoying the act of creating anymore#but also for anyone reading this who is not in fact a damitim fan#thats fine!! don't read it if it isn't for you#they are not the only ship im ever going to write for again and I will be here regardless 🤷♂️#that was quite a tangent sry bean#my head hurts and no amount of coffee has fixed me#probably I should drink water#water bottle needs washing tho and. ADHD says I can't do it. the stars u know#shutting up now#bibatrambles#definitely lmao
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good morning everyone I just had to play tech support for something I knew absolutely nothing about hopefully your days start better than mine
#» time to roll the dice ( ooc )#I figured it out in the end but my god my head hurts now#I need more coffee
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Going to sleep is the grind killer. Nothing good will come from going to sleep. Water is not needed when there is water I could be drinking in the coffee. I will look sleep in the eye and cry over my unfinished work like a productive member of society.
#someone smash a hammer over my head tom&jerry style#myhead hurst i have been yawning the entire day and i have been obsessing over how i feel#ever since one of my thesis classmates said he had covid and turned out another one may be infected too 👍#the cold catched me by surprise today i have no time to be sick if i moved stuff around alone with a hurt feet when i first showed my thesis#i will work in my deathbed if that is needed#anyways i forgot my family brought me coffee to drink and its super cold now so time to make a new one#haunted.txt
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Tw ed/
#its been a preddy rough week overall i think but whats reqlly kinda concerning me is my comolete inability to eat atm#like i know i gotta and i have been trying to force mysekf but i really cant even stomach the thought of eating#this is my second day of this week w no proepr food entering me ig and its pissing me off#bc i want to eat like i know im hungry#but every time i try i just want to vomit lol#managed to get a big iced coffee n a small bubble tea down today but i want to eat real food :^(#im gonna buy myself sushi tomorrow so i can hopefully eat#its like trying to feed a child fml#and at this point im like kinda morbidly curious how long i can go without eating a proper meal before fainting or something#havent fainted in a while idk#im tired and everything feels tingly and my head hurts :^( i hope i eat tomorrow#silly hrs only#im feeling the need to justify posting here bc it feels like seeking pity or soemthing but i just dont really have anyone to say this to#like id feel bad ig#and theyd get mad ofc bc im being silly#but also its been busy and im really emotionally and physically soent this week so like taking care of mysekf is hard#ao im trying to cut myself some slack but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#been a whike since i used tumblr as my diary anyway so im treating myself ig#nice to get the thoughts out n whatever#anyways goodnight#gommywords
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really hope no one asks what I did this weekend at work tomorrow because the answer is "I rewatched two thirds of Buffy season 5 in one sitting" which is synonymous with "I just cried my eyes out all weekend"
#went to yoga class and for a cup of coffee inbetween but then the tears kept on flowing#what the hell.#was it really this upsetting last time??#I remembered (and was dreading) The Body but everything else????#my head hurts#think I need to take a break and watch some Pumuckl before starting s6#personal
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I feel like my heart is going to explode, which is not ideal and not fun
#i think I'd rather get kicked in the crotch again than feel this weird like#fluttery heart thing#to be fair I have had both a redbull and a coffee#my head hurts now as well#this is why i need supervision sometimes#dl#idle chatter
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Me being super happy after playing Rim World non-stop: WOOO does that mean I can do things now? *steps out of the 'puter for a second*
[ THE HORRORS ]
Me:
#all ive done today is.#rimworld. didnt eat. rimworld. reblogged hatsune mikus. and now im here.#i swear i get better like this guys it just takes. Time. 😭 my head hurts so much too#i hate hyperfixiations like this. all i can think of is rimworld. I've had two days in a row of dreams about it#idk what actually happened in them all i know I was literally dreaming of playing it.#i dont like being alone with my thoughts. at all.#somehow coffee helps me keep it at bay and soothes me for a limited amount of time.#so I've been drinking it a lot.#its been getting pretty bad.#if im not playing rimworld. i need to drink coffee every two damn seconds.#at least. it isnt. another sunstance. at least.#cw vent#but I've been thinking about it so much lately. just fantasizing about it. i just want relief. to not think.#anything that will make me feel slightly fucking alright and calm. just for an hour.#just so that it'll be quiet for an hour.
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I know I wrote 2000 words in one day. can I write more? I might do some black magic on words now.
#straight on went poetic when i dont remember one single poem#i remember this one “on the grasshoppers and cricket” by john keats#but still doesn't make sense i remember that from 2 years ago and i went poetic#and now if i continue that goes shit#someone help and don't help me#bye now i don't wanna seem too free to yoy all#i need some coffee my head hurts#nounou's beans
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