#my handwriting is literally the most horrible thing ever on earth

[evuwus]

I have a big time artblock for a long time and I decided I should get my sh*t together and do something serious so I started a challenge with myself to sketch a different character every day -I don't know if I can keep it but anyways- 😧 Here's my spirit animal Tiedoll and Mana boii References used - (c) Katsura Hoshino :>

[beautifulterriblequeen]

I keep thinking about Silmarillion, and I was wondering : what do you think of Fëanor ?

I don’t know exactly how it should be seen...

Ooh, Fëanor. Gosh, okay, let me change the channel in my brain.

Fëanor is, at heart, a Capitalist Inventor. He's Dark Tony Stark. He creates endless things for the world to use, but what truly drives him is the bone-deep belief that he and his chosen ones deserve his most prized possessions more than anyone else. And he's willing to kill anyone on both sides to get them back. He swears an oath to fight until he gets what he wants, and thus seals the doom of untold thousands he'll never even meet.

That's an antagonist. Which is not the same thing as a villain. But Fëanor is very much an experience to be survived - or not - rather than any kind of ally. Much of what he does in the Silmarillion is imbalanced, driven by emotions he doesn't seem willing or able to control. And because he's an elf among elves, and they all live a very very long time, the effects of his choices carry forward for thousands of years. This one dude got a lot of people killed, directly and indirectly, including his whole family. For an elf was supposed to love the stars, he wasn't very stellar. Our Man in Valinor was way more into fire.

The part that bothers me about his character - and this is a modern take looking back at JRR Tolkien and his world in the last millennium - is that Fëanor is born this way. He is flawed from birth, and he's just Like That, forever. No chance to change, no encouragement to be different, to be softer, to be better, to corral his spirit of fire into something more light than heat. He's just dangerous chaos from start to finish. He comes into the world sucking his mother's spirit dry so she dies, he lives his life disagreeing with everyone around him except his sons, and he goes out encouraging those sons to hold to their unholy oath to retrieve the Silmarils or die trying. Which they do - the "die trying" part, anyway.

He's a piece of work.

He was also a brilliant, god-tier craftsman. I guess that's what happens when you study under the Vala Aulë himself, who literally shaped the physical world into existence.

He created the Silmarils, capturing the combined light of the Two Trees into three brilliant gemstones in a way no one ever did before or since.

He crafted the palantíri, which not even Sauron could replicate later.

He invented Tengwar script, which is the swirly elven writing we all associate with Middle-Earth.

He crafted the mysterious Feanorian lamps, which are crystals that emit blue light and cannot be doused.

He was constantly thinking up new ideas and crafting them. Eru only knows what he made that has been lost. You'll notice none of these things he made are swords. Yet he led an attack against the Teleri on his way out of Valinor, and the Teleri defended themselves, so I kind of assume he was also a weaponsmith, trying out new ideas in metal form if nothing else.

Brilliant and misguided, a flawed juggernaut, destined to drag the entire world and countless lives off course. The earlier these characters show up in the timeline, the more destructive chaos they end up causing.

I do not like Fëanor. He's a White Guy, doing as he pleases with no thought for the consequences, to himself, to those of his family he actually likes, or to anyone else. He holds enough privilege and power that people keep following him into disaster, and then he just goes and does it again, without learning a damn thing from his imbalanced approach. He even dies thinking he did nothing wrong ever in his life. Like... Bitch.

Having power is no guarantee that you deserve power, and Fëanor is a prime example of why.

This has nothing to do with the objects he made. Those are just tools, free to be taken and used for good or evil, as the palantíri were, and as every message ever written in Tengwar was. Would the world have been better off without the Silmarils at all, or the palantíri? Would a different language script have somehow altered the world for the better? Since it's fiction, we could just decide that Yes, Yes It Would, or No Actually Not.

What's not fictional is my distaste for presumptuous assholes with a bit of power but no self-awareness, because I've already met too many of them who weren't fictional, either.

You want my unvarnished opinion of Fëanor? He's a billionaire. And I'm glad he got eaten. It wasn't nearly soon enough.

Eat your billionaires before they get all crusty, kids. They taste best fresh and plump. Nom nom.

Still here? Oh, then it's time to compare Fëanor to TDP! Because as much as I despise him, he makes for excellent storytelling angst and conflict, and vicarious conflict is how we learn to avoid it in our real lives - if we're paying attention.

I've said before that I'd like to see some kind of Oath of Fëanor effect in TDP. The absolute horror at seeing good characters get yoinked into bad deeds just because they promised? Ahahaha, horrible, thank you, I'll have some more. If the Moonshadow assassins have something like that behind those creepy binding ribbons, I'm gonna be cackling in between my tears, fam.

But Fëanor himself? Oh, do you see, that's Aaravos! He's even got that craftsman side, since he made the relic staff, and boy is it swirly.

(Does that make Ethari a Celebrimbor type, separating himself from the dark deeds of his forebears yet still massively talented, creating amazing magical devices?)

Aaravos is the main villain of TDP, as far as we've been told. He's crafty, in both senses of the word. Did he have some angsty complex family life with half-siblings and a mother who died because she birthed him? Maybe. Stars can be born from the detritus of other stars that exploded and died, so there's a sciencey metaphor there already.

Of interest: Fëanor had seven sons, and the world of TDP has seven kinds of magic. Aaravos created at least one of them. Did he create primal magics too, from the deep magic that came before? Might there be some kind of oath involved there, with the first elves to wield differentiated magic?

How about those primal stones that look like palantíri? How many of those did Aaravos craft? Can he use one from his library to spy on people who have them or something? That would mean he could already know a ton about Viren even before he came to the Storm Spire and stole the mirror. Woah.

What about a Silmaril equivalent? Are there especially glorious magical gemstones in Xadia? Did Aaravos wear them in his crown and now he's mister Grumpy Glam without them?

Did he create the original runes that diverged into all the elven languages? With his sloppy handwriting? Heh, the other elves must've been very patient.

You know... Aaravos has been called a Promethean figure, gifting humans with knowledge and skill they didn't have. But that gift was the gift of fire. A tool. A tool employed by craftsmen.

Fëanor literally means "Spirit of Fire."

In the end, Fëanor was consumed by his own spirit. He never learned to vibe with it, and it destroyed him and many others. Sounds a lot like dark magic.

Maybe the real Oath of Fëanor in TDP is one you have to speak backwards.

[ewgoals]

50 Reasons why

Plot: Harry and Y/N have had an on and off relationship for 4 years, They truly feel like true love was what kept them together but nobody will take control.They had a beautiful baby boy together and the love they share was pure so pure that Harry decides to try and take control even if it was too late  and the woman he called his wife was over him. 

A/N: The Plot Is  short but the story is long, complex and beautiful. It’s based on a true story. Please listen to the song while you are listening Via Spotify or apple music, Please it makes it so much better! I have a youtube link. I said that Harry wrote and sung the song but it was a musical named rent if you don’t know lol Let me know if you want a part two 

Link: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-9pvtRwaKHY 

Triggers: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Tears?, Heart break. 

Word Count: 5,843 

Harry was up all night, that’s how it’s been the last few days he couldn’t sleep without Y/N by his side. Harry knows that he did this to himself from pulling away from his former wife, when he began to struggle with his own personal demons. Harry finally sat up as he saw the light coming through the blinds of his home, he looked at his phone for a moment just hoping to get even the smallest text from his former lover but it was sadly nothing. Harry finally decided that he needed to take control of this situation, he needed his feelings to be out there and for Y/N to understand what he truly felt. 

This gave Harry the amazing idea, he was going to mix a romantic gesture with him pouring out his heart. This was going to start with Harry writing an emotional letter for the woman that he loved before words, he then ordered 50 roses and sent them to Y/N home after he checked with a couple of friends that she still lived there. This of course was Harry’s favorite thing that he’s done for a little while and he was beyond excited about finally having some control. 

Y/N and Harry have been talking every night since Y/N reached out, making sure her ex husband was okay. She never wanted to put him in a bad place, but she knew that it was for the better that they split up even if the divorce was rough enough on both of them. Y/N was shocked when she woke up to his friend calling her from downstairs, the woman rushed down the stairs in fear of something much more horrible. Y/N covered her mouth as she looked around at the 50 dozen roses that filled her living room and dining room. 

Roger looked at his best friend before saying “Girl he wants you back so bad” Y/N looked around just as shocked before grabbing a letter that was kept separate from the roses which made her smile seeing Harry’s handwriting “I’ll read these to you just because you are here” The woman admitted before her best friend nodded as he watched her open the letter “Okay here we go” the woman said shaking her head as she began reading.

“I know that you told me not to write this and normally I would listen but  I can’t help it, I saw this post that I made for you that was written like a year ago I think and it was crazy because you don’t think you could ever add to a post like that. I could though, it was talking about how you make me feel all of these things! I wasn’t sure how it was possible to add more but once I actually sat down and began thinking about how I could it was easy as hell. I’ll show you the post so you know which one I’m talking about.” The woman’s eyes were already filling with tears as she began to read the post Harry wrote for her on her birthday last year. 

“My Love,

As I am writing, I have a million thoughts running through my mind. This letter is meant to be a testament to the feelings I feel for you –  you are the one person that can put a smile on my face, even on those days when I am feeling down. You are the reason I am able to lay in bed and fall asleep peacefully. Looking at it, you have offered me new opportunities that no other person would be able to offer me.  As you lay next to me in bed sleeping, I lay there and wonder what I did to get so lucky in my life.

 You are the one that has reached out and showed me the true meaning of what it feels like to be in peace. There is no other person in this world that could have done that for me. It amazes me that someone with such outer beauty as so much inside her as well.  I feel like I am floating when I am with you. My days get brighter when I am with you. I still manage to get these butterflies when I see you. I guess overall I love you. “ Y/N shook her head as she sniffled trying to get herself to compose herself once before she looked at her friend “Please Read the rest” she asked as Y/B/F/N took the letter and began with the next page 

“I wrote that on 10/23 that was literally 3 days after you and I got together. That was the day I meant the love of my life and the woman would become the mother of my children, I told you last night but let me rephrase so everyone can see it. 

I may not show all the time and that’s because I’m shitty at human emotions but you are the most important person to me. When I’m down you bring me up without realizing you are. When I’m beyond crazy you manage to bring me back down to earth I didn’t wanna tell you because it goes back to the whole “what the fuck does this beautiful ass woman see in me like?” And that goes back to the whole I don’t think I’m worthy of love but you truly make me like I’m worthy even though I fuck up nonstop you still manage to love me even when I’m stupid as shit.” Roger stooped as he began to run his hand up and down his friend’s back “He is quite the words man” this caused them both to chuckle as her friend went on 

“I mean every word of that ten times over, no matter what stupid shit I do you manage to find a way to forgive me. Y/N from all the adventures we go on from fucking around and getting hitched in Vegas, to getting married in Paris or maybe me trying to drown you bora bora. That is still not confirmed, I’m only joking but I don’t feel like there are enough words to describe our relationship hell our marriage. Happy birthday to the love of my life, you still manage to keep on my toes but I think that’s because of how amazing you.” Roger  gasped “that’s what he wrote for your birthday? I can barely get laid from mine” Y/N laughed as she ran her hand over where her ring used to see as she took the paper and read the last paragraph 

“I found that post still saved in my phone and if I’m honest it started off a long list of things that I miss about you and I’ll break that down one by one so give me a minute haha, I’m going to call this the 50 reasons why I love you and the reason why I think we should try just once more and If it doesn’t work then that’s fine and the reason it’s fine is that we have such an amazing friendship that I don’t ever wanna lose. You give me hope even when I am hopeless. I can use all of those typical relationship quotes and for once I understand why they are like that. Okay fine I’ll get one with my list haha.” 

Y/N brain finally connected the dots as she looked around at all of the roses “They are in order from number 50” the woman shook her head as she looked at the roses once more, this was going to be a long night. Y/N quickly got started as she picked up the number 50 

“50.) I like the way you look at me.

I don’t know it’s possible but when you look at me, I feel this flutter in my chest telling me that I just saw the most beautiful woman look at me. I am also in a position where your eyes tell me so much more than you ever want to let one.” Y/N smiled sweetly as she kept going on 

“49.) Your Skin Care 

I don’t think I could tell you what you are actually doing when you start the process but I can tell you that I love how you almost become instantly relaxed when you start it and I love seeing that. I love to see how you can wind down from your day and just a little face cream helps you so much with that. “ Y/N looked at her best friend as ran her finger through her hair before giggling “He used to literally roll his eyes everytime I would even begin” Y/N shook her head as she smiled a little before she grabbed the next card 

“48.) Those Legs 

I love the feeling of running my hands up and down your legs, the way they curve so perfectly, and the length. Please don’t get me started because I don’t think I could stop. They are smooth and always smell so good.” Roger  laughed as he lightly smacked her thigh “told you those legs were killer”  Y/N laughed  as she shook her head “Next one” she said        

“47.) Your Touch 

The way you used to just run your fingers over my arm or trace outlines on my chest. I used to always look down at you and the minute I felt the tips of your fingers, I would freeze only for a second but that’s because I was shocked you were there.” Y/N looked down at the card as she closed her eyes “I don’t think I can truly get through these” The woman smiled but she kept going  

“46.) When you Play with my Hair 

This doesn’t get enough credit and I took advantage of it. When I used to lay on your chest and just listen to your heart you would run your fingers through my hair and I would always feel my heart speed up because it felt so good. It felt like you were giving my head the greatest massage of all time” . 

“45.) You see the positives when I see Negatives. 

I could come to you about something as simple as wanting to know what I should have for lunch and you can give me a whole pro list of different places I could eat. You literally turn every point in our life positively just by counteracting my negative. It makes us work really well but it also shows me how I should look at the world.”

44.) How you used to rub my back 

I know this sounds like I am repeating myself but I’m not. You used to straddle my waist and rub my back after the gym, It would give me this relaxing feeling and the way your fingers worked the muscles that were sore out and made me feel like I was jello. I can’t thank you enough...

43.) When You Picked Me 

I don’t think anyone was as shocked as me when it happened, I slide into your DMS a nervous man knowing that you had just gotten out of a relationship but I kept my heart open to the small chance I had. When you agreed to go on that date with me I couldn’t even believe it like Why was she settling but I thank my lucky stars for the day over and over. 

42.) When You Just Wanted To Cuddle.

I would wake up and have to get up for the gym but you would always pull me back down and ask for five more minutes and the minutes I got a smell of your hair I couldn’t say no. I would have to stay for five more minutes. 

41.) The Way You Wake Up. 

You always sit up and stretch before you look over at me and lean in to kiss me, I would always try to turn it into a little bit more but you would always say that your breath stunk and I remember that I could never bring it to your attention that I never smelt your breath, I was to busy focusing on my beautiful wife. 

40.) Your Feet At Night.

You know that I hate feet with a passion but I love the way you bury your feet under my legs when you get cold when we are together. I used to hate it now that I don't have it. I just miss it. 

39.) We Could Watch Cartoons Together. 

I never figured that would be something that made me love someone but it truly made me love you more, I could put Peppa pig on but we could still cuddle and just read. 

38.) I’ll Always Remember Your Favorite Flower

  I will always make sure to have your favorite bouquet of flowers and I will always know that they need to be a dark red because Maroon is one of your favorite colors. 

37.) Your Ankles. 

I remember when I would be messing around with you, I would always grab your ankle. I would leave a kiss on your ankle, I would hold your ankle. I think I don’t want to admit how much I love kissing your ankle. 

36.) You never make me feel dumb. 

You are genuinely one of the smartest people I know and somehow you’ve never made me feel like I was less because I don’t know as much as you but you would even try to explain it to her. 

35.) How you watch your favorite show, 

I’ve noticed that you would religiously watch the same show over and over and that would drive me insane now I find myself watching them just to think you are here. 

34.) How You Pull Me Closer.

I would try not to fall asleep first but the minute I did, I would feel you pull me closer and keep me close until you either felt safe or just content. I would love every minute I remember. 

33.) Your Dancing 

You always dance like nobody's watching and I love that. I love the way you mix current music and start doing the boogie haha I also love the way you twerk lol 

32.) Your Quick Replies 

I would feel myself becoming closer to snapping and you would always lighten my mood with a little small quick roast, It would always make me feel better. 

31.) Your Love For Dogs 

I’ve never seen someone care about our living things, I would always be a little shy about them at first but you would go and bear hug the dog no matter what haha. 

The next ten flowers were  labeled NSFW which meant that Y/N was’t going to read them out loud but her friend was quick to put that idea down “Nope, I’m emotionally invested you need to read them all” Y/N blushed before nodding as she looked at the next card reading loudly 

“30.) Your moans

Those are literally crack, I would hear that moan and it would get me ready almost instantly. I hear the moan almost every night and well let’s just say I miss hearing it in person.”  Y/N was blushing already as her best friend laughed “Oh this is adorable keep going”  

“29.) Your Whispers

I don’t know if you thought I could hear but when you whisper in my ear, I feel myself almost buckling at my knees and smiling just because I know exactly where to touch to make those moans come out.” 

“28.) Your Nails 

I miss the way your nail would run down my back, they could be long or short. They were just this naturally fuck me harder button and I swear every time you did it I was ready for you all over again.” 

“27.) Your Taste. 

This is not a place that I can beat around the bush, I miss the feeling of going down on you. I miss feeling those fingers in my hair as I eat the most amazing peach that I could’ve ever tasted in my life” Roger laughed as he held his chest “Girl you better get back with him, that alone would have be running back” Y/N covered her face as she closed her eyes “Okay next one” 

“26.) Your Lips

I miss how those lips felt against mine, they are the softest things I’ve ever kissed, and the way you bit your bottom lip is just unreal.”

“25.) Your Smirk

You only use this when you know you’ve won and it’s my favorite thing about getting to admit defeat. That smirk you have when you crawl back on top of me. A man could  fall in love with that.” 

“24.) Your Ass 

How is it I can picture your ass and I could tell you the curves of the perfect tanned ass. I love how you reacted when  I finally smack your ass. You gasp and use that damn smirk.” 

“23.) Your boobs 

I still love the feeling of kissing down your chest as I run my hands over your amazing breasts, they are soft and fit perfectly in my hands. I can tease you so much because of it.” 

“22.) Those Kisses 

I always remember when you would be giving me a blow job, You would always leave these kisses on my inner thighs. Those still drive me wild but Nobody could do it like you.” Y/N smiled as she shook her head “Girl you need to teach me your tricks. You got this boy pussy whipped” Y/N slapped Roger’s chest “Shut up” 

“21.) The way you pull my hair. 

I’ve learned that you grab onto many things, my hair is a perfect victim but god is it such a turn on. I could feel myself slipping away because you wore me out but the minute you pulled my hair I was back into it. “

“20.) The way you take control when you want it. 

 I loved watching you ride me, I get the perfect view of those amazing perfect breasts in my face but I also get to see you take control and that is so sexy. “ 

Y/N finally looked up at Roger before closing her eyes “I have 20 more reasons why he loves me and I have no words to say anymore” Roger smiled as nodded “come on girl 20 more” 

“19:) How well we fit together

I would begin that I could marry someone who just sleeps well and I did. Our bodies just fit perfectly to the point that I could never think that anything could be better” 

“18.) The Way You Talk To Tv 

I can’t begin to tell you that just because you scream at the tv, it's not going to change the outcome but watching you get so the anger was half worth it” 

“17.) Your Grace  

The way you handle yourself when the media talks about you. You don’t talk negatively but just smile through it” 

“16.) The way you handle my jealousy 

I know that sometimes, it’s ridiculous that I get jealous over small stuff but it’s because have you ever dated someone who was so above your league? Of course not, you are a goddess.”  

“15.) I love that we are friends and family.

No matter what you always made me feel important even when nobody else did, you always treated me like family and when I was going through a pure panic attack you would manage to call me down even with just your words. You treat me like I am not this piece of shit. That I matter. “ 

“14.) Your Smell  

When you would get out of the shower and come to bed, The way your hair smelt mixed with your perfume and other smells just made you into this perfect smell that I still can’t get out of my nose.” 

“13.) Our Baths 

  We did this a lot while you were pregnant, I would just run my hand over your little pregnant belly and I would feel so content with just being able to hold you, let you relax with some weird bath bomb” 

“12.) Your Christmas Obsession 

I never really liked Christmas before I met you, it was kinda just a holiday. I would go home but you made it special. Now when it’s Christmas time all I think about is you, how your eyes would light up when you would see all the Christmas lights. How you would get excited when Emre,Lea or Presley  opened a present. You Made Christmas something special and I’ll always thank you for that.” 

“11.) Your Laugh 

I think I could write a ten page essay about your laugh alone. I remember holding you and I would start to tickle you now it would end in you giving me a death threat but it was worth it to hear that laugh. I would always get this heart fluttering feeling when that special sound left your lips.” 

“10.) I miss you when you aren’t next to me 

I’ve noticed this more now that we aren’t together but I find myself taking this much more serious now that the reality sets in that we are where we are. This becomes more real every time I get  a text from you. Hell I used to miss you when you are in the next room.” 

“9.) The way you are with our kids. 

I feel like this is pretty self explanatory but the way you look at our kids and how they smile so lovingly back at you . The way they squeal when you kiss them, how they want nothing more but to hold you and play with you makes me realize that you were the perfect choice for the mother of my children, You are the perfect mom everyone is trying to me and you do it effortlessly.”

“8.) We’ll Always Have Paris. 

I’ve always wanted to say that haha. You make it possible for me to say that. Paris will always be the place where I found the love of my life, It will also be the place where God showed me that angels walk among men.” 

“7.) Always being True

You are being true to who you are, your morals are sometimes not in my favor but it makes me love you more. That you know exactly what you want and what you truly deserve. This drives me crazy but in the best possible way and almost makes me jealous of you that you are so smart and true to who you are that you can get whatever you want. This makes even more one of a kind than you are.”

“6.) The Way You Let Me In

I know that you don’t do this anymore and I think that’s what makes it even more special that you let me in. I get to see every side of you: the good,bad,stressed, sad, angry, vulnerable. I know it doesn’t make sense but when you open up to me I get this feeling in my chest and I just can’t help but feel like I am the luckiest person in the world. “

“5.) Your Eyes 

I was in the studio yesterday and the thought of you popped into my mind and the lyrics created themselves. I have the audio of me singing which I texted you, I don’t know if you caught that yet. If not I left the lyrics for you” 

Your eyes

As we said our goodbyes

Can't get them out of my mind

And I find I can't hide

From your eyes

The ones that took me by surprise

The night you came into my life

Where there's moonlight

I see your eyes

How'd I let you slip away

When I'm longing so to hold you

Now I'd die for one more day

'Cause there's something I should have told you

There's something I should have told you

When I looked into your eyes

Why does distance make us wise?

You were the song all along

And before the song dies

I should tell you, I should tell you

I have always loved you

You can see it in my eyes

Y/N saw her phone sitting next to her as she grabbed it and saw the audio file that was sent to her, the woman smiled softly before she played the song as loud as she could without waking her young son in the next room over. Roger's eyes were filled with tears by the end of the song before Y/N wiped her tears away as she shook her head “I can’t do this anymore. Roger I’m seeing someone else'' Roger nodded as he looked down sad for the woman “Just hear him out” Y/N nodded as she looked at the last four of the flowers 

“4.) Those Nose Scrunches 

I couldn’t get enough of those, when you would tease me there was a nose scrunch. When you would be making food and it splashed on you there was a nose scrunch. When you would change a diaper another nose scrunch or even when I kissed your nose. God I love them.” 

“3.) Our Inside jokes 

This is something I never thought I would miss as much I do, I love that when I say Bora Bora to you that we both think of the time you claim I tried to drown you I swear to goodness I did not!  Or our mutual hatred for the chicago bears” 

“2.) You made me feel like I mattered 

It didn’t matter if I felt like I was the worst person you always made me feel like my story mattered and that so did what I have to say. You made me realize that even if nobody wants to hear it my voice should be heard. You helped me into who I am now. I wasn’t Harry Styles to you, I was just a person” 

“ 1.) Your Heart 

This is the number one reason why I love you. Your heart is a wonderful thing, that you don’t realize is as amazing as it is. Your heart is this thing that amazes me hell it managed to love me and well that’s crazy enough to me. I get more and more amazed every time you show me your heart. When I met you and your heart, it began to change me and help heal my messed up heart. Your heart is the purest thing I’ve ever seen. I love you. I love your heart and I love that you managed to love me with that beautiful heart.” 

Y/N was now in full blown tears as she found the next letter hidden in the last bouquet of flowers “Roger please” her best friend took the letter as he opened the letter she read out for her 

“ I think I could keep going on because If i’m being honest it took me an hour to think of 50 reasons why I love you  but I decided that it might be a little too much if I sent a 100 reasons why I love you but I told you that I will give you 50 reasons why I love you and one reason why I think we should try again and here is that reason 

1..) The reason I think that we should try once more is because we are perfect. I know that it would be easier to go and talk to Matthew and fall in love with him and that He won’t give you half as many headaches as I did. Hell he probably won't give nearly as much heart break either. He would be the easier option and I would understand completely if you did it now I know he's not a guy you were talking to but he was just an example. I know that I am not perfect, hell I am far from it. I know that at points our relationship was toxic and I am still so sorry for every time that I made our relationship toxic in some way.” 

Y/N covered her mouth as she bit her lip “He knows about Matt… yet he still took a chance with all of this” Roger looked down at the letter as he kept saying 

“I know that we have our problems, I know that we can talk through them and I know that I love you. I know that no matter what I always will. Hell you can tell me no right now and that we will never happen again and I will tell you okay but only if I can still be in your life because that’s all i truly want. If I can’t have you then it would still be an honor to be your friend.” 

Y/N  looked at her phone in her hand before she grabbed her phone and quickly dialed her ex husband’s number “Y/N” the sound of the man’s voice made her breath stop as she looked at the roses in front of her “Harry, These roses and the letters” Harry just laughed a little “It was over kill huh?” Y/N quickly smiled “No! I loved them but Harry. My heart’s heavy— which I don’t know is a good thing or not. All these things you’ve said about me, these 50 reasons why you love me, it really touched me and it made me realize that you truly do love me. What breaks my heart is that this wasn’t there during the end of our relationship” The woman stopped for a moment as she tried to hold back the tears that she had 

‘On both sides, not just yours. What hurts is that it took 3, or even 4 years for us to realize this? It took countless breakups. It took so much, and maybe that’s the beauty of it. You’re right, another relationship would be easier to be in, there wouldn’t be the arguments and fights and quarrelling and all the little things that are basically ways of expressing love for one another. I don’t know if I need to explain anything right now, and I’m assuming you don’t want me to. But I will tell you that you really healed a lot with what you said. It means a lot, and I do love it.” Harry shook his head 

The man laughed at himself as he audibly said “No,  I don’t want you to explain anything. I want you to just know that I meant every word. That wasn’t my intention to heal anything with a letter. It was to show you that if you want and I need you to remember that if YOU WANT I’ll be right here waiting with my arms open and ready to love you all over again because like I said a new relationship would be easy for both of us but they wouldn’t have those parts that make us so perfect and comfortable together. Now I’ll admit I hope this does make you want to try this again but if it doesn’t that’s fine because now you know everything I was so cowardly to say while we were together.” Harry finished as Y/N sniffled into the phone 

Y/N managed to start talking without breaking her words “I do understand. I don’t know if I’d want to try again though. We could, but it could end up like it did last time, it could also last a long time, but I’m in a place where I’m slowly getting better and I’m not sure if risking that is a good thing. If I’d have heard this when we were together then that’s another story. Maybe we couldn’t work it out together and recovered from our problems and mental health issues together. But we had to separate to help ourselves, that itself says something. Harry, I love you and I will always love our son and the life that we have together but I am seeing someone Harry and I need to see where that goes” Harry smiled sadly as his eyes filled with tears before he whispered “ I understand. I’ll talk to you soon Y/N. Tell Jace I love him and that daddy misses him.” Harry didn’t say goodbye. He just hung up. 

Harry knows that what he did was childish and he should’ve been supportive, he couldn’t help it. He was upset, heartbroken, disappointed,miserable. Harry knew that he couldn’t do that to his ex wife and mother of his child, he grabbed his phone and quickly texted back “I am happy for you, I’m elated that you found someone to make you feel the way I feel about you. I’m not going to lie. I was hoping that my 50 reasons would give a little time to take you off your feet. I was just a little too late. I love you Y/N. I’ll always be waiting for you… No matter what” 

[emikochan]

Nordic 5 with the s/o wanting to learn their language but with a slight twist, the s/o wanting to try and learn their language but they fear they won’t be able or good enough to if that makes sense.

I'm so hyped for this. Thanks for the request, Cat-chan!🌸

~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~

Norway:

"You can do this, (y/n)."

"Hell no, Lukas. I'll make a fool out of myself"

You crossed your arms in front of your chest in a protective manner. Today, the market place seemed to be louder than ever before. It seemed to be buzzing with life and it was loud. What if the old man at the candy stall couldn't hear you and you had to repeat yourself awkwardly? What if he understood the wrong thing and accidently had you insulting his mother or something like that? The risk of messing up was just too damn high.

"Just go for it"

"No!" Cold fingers suddenly entangled with yours and you looked up to see him right by your side, looking down at you.

"We'll go together. If you mess up, I'm right there to correct it. You don't have to be afraid."

With a gulp you snuggled a bit closer to Lukas' side and you two approached the friendly old man, that welcomed you two with a warm smile.

"Hei"

"Hei" your eyes scanned the cute wooden boxes that were filled with sweets. They finally locked with the cute fish shaped candy that Lukas adored so much.

"Unnskyld, hvor mye koster det?" ( Sorry, how much does it cost?)

"20 stk koster 5 kroner" he replied and you felt Lukas' hand squeeze yours as an encouragement to go on.

"Det vil jeg gjerne" ( I'd like to have that) you felt a bit of sweat form on your forehead as you flashed him an unsure smile.

The old man nodded and packed your candy in a cute bag before handing it over to you. You gave the good man his money, bid him farewell and took a deep breath as you two went on your way.

"You did well, elskede." Lukas' lips had the softest tug of a smile at their corners and you felt your heart soar, a triumphant smile coming around your lips as well.

~~~~~

Denmark:

His lips covered your neck in thousand kisses. His breath sent shivers down your spine every few seconds and his soft touches left you yearning for more.

"Jeg elsker deg, (y/n)" he whispered and your clouded mind contemplated on wether you should say it or not.

Mikkel went on to whisper way more intimate things, that usually didn't show that much of an effect on you, since you couldn't understand a word. Today you blushed a bright red though.

Struck by surprise your eyes widened slightly. You actually understood some bits and pieces of the dirty things he growled. During the last few weeks you wondered if your lessons even had any effect on you but it's good to know that all of your efforts weren't in vain.

Maybe you weren't doing as bad as you thought you did?

Having enough of him being so cocky, you placed both hands on his shoulders and flipped him onto the bed with you on top of him.

"Hvad siger du, skat?" (What are you saying, darling?" you asked with a smirk and had the confident Dane under you with his eyes wide as little plates and an open mouth staring up at you in awe.

Mikkel didn't let you leave the bed that night and continues to beg you to speak more Danish even weeks after that.

~~~~

Sweden:

You actually caught him by surprise when he talked to his boss on the phone. He was so occupied with his thoughts that he accidently talked to you in Swedish.

You just finished your lessons for that day and were just as occupied with your thoughts as he was, so you replied in Swedish without even noticing it first. It took Berwald a few seconds after hanging up until he truly realized it.

"(y/n)? I didn't know you picked up so much Swedish." You blinked until the realization hit you too.

"Oh... well... it wasn't that good. I'm suprised you actually understood me." you started while fidgeting with the hem of your shirt.

"No, you almost sounded like a native. You're doing very well." he simply stated.

A straightforward man that states the blunt truth. That's why you loved him and his compliment made you smile brightly.

"Tak för det" (Thank you for that)

~~~~

Finland:

What on earth have you done to yourself.

Your hands were clasped over your head, smoke seemed to come out of your ears and your tired eyes could barely focus on the sheer endless lines of words and phrases that literally never.found.an.end anymore.

You were literally "Vapisee kuin haavan lehti" – which is something like "To tremble like the leaf of an aspen tree" or something around that gist- God you don't even know anymore.

"Rakas, are you finished with that project of yours?" A certain Finnish man peeked behind the opening door and found your exhausted body slumped over the desk with big tears swelling up in your eyes and his smile instantly fell. He came rushing to you in an instant

"Oh Hani, what's wrong? Did...did the project go so bad?"

You couldn't answer as you began to sob uncontrollably, the deep feeling of disappointment rising up in you since you totally failed to learn Finnish. Even the basics were too difficult to keep inside that damn head of yours and it just frustrated you to no end.

His hand was quick to rub your back in a comforting manner, while his other hand quickly ripped out a tissue from your desk's tissue box. His eyes fell on the several pieces of paper that lay spread all across the wooden surface. He instantly recognized it as his mother tongue and his eyes widened in astonishment as he noticed your handwriting, that apparently wrote all of those texts and notes down.

"Finnish?" he asked and picked one of the sheets up to examine it closer.

"Puhutko suomea?" ( Do you speak Finnish?) he asked you softly and you simply shook your head.

"I tried, ok. I tried but I just don't get it, it's just too much."

He frowned but it was directed to himself, not you. He nodded and pressed a kiss on your head as he continued to skip through the papers that you finished during the last hours.

"Rakas, you don't have to do this for me. I know how hard my language is, you don't-"

"But it wouldn't be fair! You learnt English and it would be just to at least try and learn your language too!" you exclaimed and he was taken aback for a second before smiling softly.

"Calm, sweetie, calm. How about we take a break today? Let's do a fun trip tomorrow and learn some easier vocabs than this."

That sounded good enough for you to finally calm down, go downstairs to sit on the couch with him and sob your heart out on Tinos shoulder. You confessed your frustration, hate and insecurity towards this new challenge and Tino listened and responded with nothing but reasurance, compassion and love all night long. He'll help you, don't worry.

~~~~~

Iceland:

Gosh, that dude started getting on your nerves. He was really testing your patience with his endless pestering and horrible pick-up lines in broken English that just made you cringe.

You just wanted to wait for Emil to come back from the bathroom so that you two could finally go the rollercoaster but this random guy just wouldn't leave you alone. His English was so bad that he didn't understand your rejection completely and just went on with his pestering, so you had nothing to lose, right?

You had enough.

"Ég er giftur! Drullaðu þér í burtu!" ( I am married! Shit yourself away/Beat it!) you hissed and the stranger took a few steps back before throwing his hands up in the air and finally disappearing.

You huffed and hoped he got the message, Emil most certainly heard it.

"What got you so worked up?"

You turned around in shock and instantly felt shame coming up in you as you locked eyes with the familiar pair of violet orbs. You wanted to improve your icelandic in secret and eventually surprise your beloved boyfriend by saying something nice to him and now the first things he ever heard you say in his native tongue were horrible swear words.

You sunk your head in shame.

"You know, we're not married...yet. But I liked that part very much" he said while placing his gloved hand on your chin to make you look at him.

"I'm sorry. I...wanted it to be perfect when I talk to you" you confessed with sadness still lacing your beautiful voice.

"Sounded perfect enough. Now let's go" Emil wrapped his arm around your waist and gently guided you away from the bathroom stalls.

He's really, really proud of you; don't think he didn't mean what he said simply because he kept the same expression the entire time.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #281

“is there a method to your madness, is it all about pride? ‘cuz everyone i know, they’ve got a demon inside.”

Has anyone ever told you that you looked like a celebrity? No, just a video game character and an animated movie girl when I had black hair. What color is the pillowcase(s) on your bed? Brown. Do you have a favorite day of the week? Tuesday because it’s reset day in WoW and as a mount farmer, that means I get to try my raids for the week again to continue to be denied. :’) Have you ever been in an art show? An art show, I don’t think so. I’ve had two or three things in an art museum, though. Would you consider yourself to be well-exposed to life or sheltered? I’m pretty split down the middle, I’d say. I’ve seen far more emotional pain than I think most young adults have, but at the same time, I’ve very under-exposed to adult experiences. How high is your pain tolerance? It depends on the type of pain. I can particularly say I do NOT handle stomach pains well, though. Have you ever played the game Halo? Nah, those weren’t my type. Have you ever had to learn lines for a play/skit/movie? Only songs sung together for plays in elementary school. Never solo. Do you like your nose? … Sure? Kissing someone with facial hair, do you mind? I don’t care. Would you ever like to be a stunt person? I’m fucking dumb, I read this and thought “you mean little people?” until I read the last person’s answer lmaooo. Anyway, no. I’m not ballsy enough for that shit. Are you a pyromaniac? I find fire pretty, but it still can scare me if I’m too close to it. Are you one of those people who listen to songs on repeat? 110%, it’s literally what I’m doing now lmao. Can any of your friends sing very well? SARA. Would you ever enter any kind of pageant? No, no, no, no. I really don’t support pageants of any type I can think of, beauty in particular. What a way to scream “HEY THEY’RE BETTER THAN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, again, especially in beauty pageants. That fucks people up. What a way to start things like self-loathing, eating disorders, body dysphoria, etc. Do you have piano fingers? Mom has always told me that, “like Grammy.” Have you ever slept on a beach? YIKES, no. I ain’t fuckin’ with the tides going in and out or just a massive wave. I’d also feel WAY too vulnerable. Would you like to be taller? I’m cool with my current height. Are you a fan of piercings on the opposite sex? I just like piercings in general. Have you ever been attacked by an animal? No, besides play getting too rough. Is there a movie that makes you cry every single time you watch it? It’s easy to do that lol. The Notebook in particular will 100% make me tear up. What's your opinion on Johnny Depp? He’s an incredibly talented actor that I find very attractive, but I don’t know him as a person. Can you speak in different accents? Just British and southern. Who was the last person you mocked/mimicked? My nephew, playfully of course. If you write, isn't writer's block the most horrible thing? THE ABSOLUTE WORST. What size shirt do you normally wear? Ugggghhh generally 2XL, I think. It can be one size smaller or one size larger depending on the shirt. Has anyone ever aimed a gun at you? Yikes, no. Have you ever written a song? Just poems. Do you believe there is life on other planets? It’s possible, but I don’t particularly lean a certain way, I think. The universe is just… infinite, you know? But also the circumstances that life rose within Earth were so remarkably perfect to support it that I don’t entirely know if it’s been duplicated elsewhere. When was the last time you fell? Around two weeks ago? I have extremely low blood pressure naturally but also amplified by medications’ side effects, and I got out of bed too fast when I woke up. Hurt my knees pretty bad and barely missed my head hitting the couch. Do you have any sort of debt? I do NOT want to think about this. Is there a specific time period that interests you? The era of dinosaurs of course, as well as the Renaissance, just to name a couple. Do any of your friends own an expensive car? *shrugs* Have you ever been on a train? No. Have you ever been in a parade? No. Are you, or anyone you know, an atheist? I know plenty. Have you ever sent a celebrity fan mail? No. Have you ever been in a musical? No. Is there a friend's family that makes you feel like you're family too? Yeah, Sara’s. Even though I’ve only been with them not that long of a time, they’re wonderful and made me feel so welcome. Do you ever have a fear of getting close to new people? Boy, do I!!!!! It’s funny though, because at the same time, I want to be close with people; I want to rush to the point I have a close friend. It’s weird. What is the worst things about work? N/A And the best? N/A Do you like to sleep in? Not really, honestly. I feel groggy and lazier than I naturally am lmao. Do you like to be an early bird? Well I’m in my best mood in the morning, but I don’t like waking up early. However, I’ve been planning a morning routine to adopt once we move that involves waking up at like 7 or so, so we’ll see how much I enjoy mornings then. But oh boy do I have a habit of saying I’ll do something and then not doing it, so… What is something you notice you just don't watch? History stuff and usually action. Last thing that bothered you even if just a little bit? Something Miss Tobey said to me a few days ago. Last thing that seemed a blessing from above? I don’t believe in supernatural “blessings,” but I’ll bite. The thing that made me happiest recently was uhhhh… I actually don’t know. Nothing that REALLY felt “blessing-ish.” Do you usually drink diet or regular soda? Regular; I can’t do diet. It tends to taste horrible but more importantly the artificial sweetener gives me a wicked headache. Are you on a diet? Not a diet, no. I’m more so just trying to make it a habit to simply eat better and not snack. Someone you highly respect who is not in your family? Sara’s dad. Did you say 'goodnight' to anyone last night? I don’t think I did. Does anyone ever comment on the appearance of your handwriting? People tend to point out it’s really nice. Have you looked at anyone's Facebook profile lately? Whose? Nah. Did you have a cake for your last birthday? What kind? Yeah, red velvet. Can you recall the first horror film you ever watched? How old were you? I actually don’t think I can. Maybe Paranormal Activity? Or The Blair Witch Project? When’s the last time that you mailed a letter or a package to someone, and who was it to? Sara’s bday gift I think. The last book that you checked out from the library? I haven’t done that in years. What was your pet’s last vet visit concerning? Roman got neutered, and the only time I took Venus to the vet was when I first got her and she refused food for almost a year. Changed the tactic of warming the mouse up and she was more than happy to snag it. Which animals do you tend to go check out first at the pet store? The reptiles, because they’re closest and also my favorite section. Last medication or item that you picked out from the drugstore? Nicole picked up a bunch of my prescriptions that needed refilling. Do you usually have a big list or a small list when you go to the grocery store? I don’t do the shopping here, so it’s not my choice. How much was the last check you deposited? How about the last amount that you took out? I have no clue. Have you ever been admitted into the emergency room? For what? Being suicidal and then a suicide attempt. Have you ever been arrested before? Ridden in the back of a police car? No to the first, but yes to the second because that’s just how you’re transported from the ER to the psych hospital here. Have you ever been a victim of a house fire? Thank God no. When did you graduate high school? 2014. How much gas can fit in your gas tank? N/A Does your vehicle break down a lot? N/A What’s the longest you’ve ever had to wait before being seated at a sit-down restaurant? I want to say at LEAST 45 minutes once. Can’t remember why it was so busy, though. Have you ever had a cavity before? How about a root canal? A tooth pulled? Braces? I’ve had cavities and braces, but thank Christ no root canals, and I’ve never had to have a tooth pulled by the dentist, either. Which art forms do you appreciate the most? Man, you can’t ask this to someone who enjoys art so deeply. Like I really don’t know what I enjoy *most*. Music can give me chills, poetry can be so rich and, well, poetic, and traditional artwork strikes awe and makes you wonder how they do it. I just adore art. What is your favorite zoo animal that you would like to set free? To start, I have very mixed feelings about zoos, but I guess I am *mostly* in favor of humane, adequately providing captivity to a certain degree as this allows for conservation of especially endangered species, and zoos also make it easier to study and understand the silent voices of those we share the earth with. As well, they offer a safe environment to expose the fearful to all sorts of animals, and I feel it is very, very important for humans as the alpha species to care for and understand (as best our language barriers allow) our wonderful neighbors. That being said, I definitely believe that a lot of zoos under-provide for their animals, and this is horribly heartbreaking so that I absolutely disagree with their “right” to own and display animals, but for this specific question, I am going to use my state’s zoo as the standard here. Ashboro, imo is pretty damn great and generous to their animals (you should see the miles of land the elephants, bison, antelope, and rhinos have!), but the exhibit that comes to mind first when mentioning animals I’d like to set free iiiis… you know, I don’t know. I was going to say the polar bears since it can get STUPID hot here in the summer and their abode doesn’t have a great amount of ice that survives the sun, but at the same time I’d be very wary about returning a polar bear home for… obvious reasons. I say “I don’t know” because I’m not gonna pretend to know what ample space is for so many different kinds of animals. Damn, now I really wanna go there. Wow this was a long answer to a p simple question lmao. Favorite kind of fish? I don’t have a distinctly “favorite” fish, really. I don’t know enough of ‘em, but I can say I really like clownfish and angelfish. What kinds of museum artifacts fascinate you? Whew, as someone who took Art History just last year in school, ancient art pieces of all sorts! It is so, so fascinating, watching the evolution of art and to see how the urge to just create extends so, so far back into history. Have you ever gone to court before? For a disability case, yes. Also to convince a judge that I didn’t need to stay in a mental hospital for I think the original plan was around six months. What is the last song that you danced to? Ha ha I watching Hotel Transylvania with my niece and nephew and did the macarena with ‘em. What’s your favorite alcoholic drink? Margaritas or sangrias. Is there anyone that you’ve visited in jail? No. Are you more likely to fly in an airplane, or pick people up/drop them off at the airport? Historically, pick people up. Which sporting event would you be most likely to sit through? Dance competitions. Favorite flavor of ice cream? Cone or dish? Any sprinkles? My favorite Basic Bitch flavor is vanilla, just with chocolate syrup. Cone or dish just depends on what I’m feelin’, really. I hate sprinkles on anything; the texture throws me off. Have you ever cut your own hair? No. What do you eat most frequently? Uggghhhh some form of bread, probably. Are you a fan of video games? Yeah, but not as much as I used to be. What's your favorite color combination? Idk really, I like a lot. I will say though that orange and black excites me bc Halloween Vibes. Did you share a locker at school? No. What's one sport you could never play? Wrestling, ew. Have you ever sung karaoke? Oh god no. What is the oldest age you think should wear makeup? lmao BRO tell me this a joke How old were you when you went on your first date? Idr, sometime in the 7th grade, if group dates in middle school even count? lol Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? Yeah. If so, who? An ex and probably doctors at some point? Did your parents sign you up for anything you hated as a child? Sunday school, really. Have you purchased any cool objects from a foreign country? Considering I’ve never left the country, no. Are you on a laptop or a desktop computer right now? I only have a laptop. Do you remember anyone's number by heart? No, but I seriously need to memorize my mom’s. Do you live above, below, or on the Equator? Above. Do you know how to use Photoshop? I know how to do a decent number of things, but I’m definitely no expert. Where was your first job? I was a sales associate at GameStop. What's the best place you have ever eaten? Olive Garden is fucking fantastic, fite me about it. Do you own a hair straightener? No, I don’t need one. Are you barefoot right now? I always am at home unless it’s cold enough to need slippers. Are you subscribed to any magazine? Nah. Do you need AC right now? No; it’s actually pretty cold inside rn. Do more people call you by a nickname or your first name? It’s just a derivative of my first name; “Britt.” But I guess that classifies as a nickname. Name something you're proud of. Deciding to actually *try* to move on and making massive progress through it with That Person. Lately I’ve wondered if I truly have, though. My PTSD has been really bad of the late. Does any accent annoy you? I can’t say it “annoys” me, given you can’t really control your accent, but I do find it difficult to understand extremely southern accents, even as a local. Do you take vitamins? This just reminded me I’ve been out of my Vitamin D prescription for a while… oops. I’m supposed to take it for my legs. When was the last time you took aspirin or some other pain reliever? Yesterday, actually. I had a pretty bad headache. When was the last time you deeply regretted something? God, last night, I was remembering and accepting some things. Lemme just say I regret the everloving fuck out of the subject. What is something that you regularly wear that makes you stand out? Besides my lip ring, nothing in particular. Do you prefer small birthday parties or big ones? Small. I just don’t like big gatherings in general. What song are you listening to now? “Creatures X: To The Grave” by Motionless In White. What was the most traumatic experience of your life? The breakup w/ Jason. I’ve told the story enough in surveys and I don’t wanna recite it again. Who was your childhood best friend? Brianna. Are you still friends now? On Facebook, anyway, but we don’t talk. If not, why? We just drifted apart. What is one career you don't think you could do no matter how much it paid? Butcher. No fucking way. Have you ever edited Wikipedia? No. Have you ever edited any other wiki? Oh yeah; I’m an admin at the Silent Hill wiki and have invested hours upon hours upon hours helping out there for years. I’m also a content moderator at the Team Ico wiki, and I’ve also assisted a lot at the meerkats wiki because it is a fucking grammatical and formatting catastrophe. I think that’s it? Wait no, I did a few fixes on the Dragons of Atlantis wiki when it was still at the Kabam website, too. Is there a website [besides social networking] that you check almost daily? Yeah, a few. Do you get scared when you know some virus or sickness is being passed? I wouldn’t say I get scared, no. Just more aware and cautious. What’s the worst illness you’ve had? I’ve had a fucking wicked stomach virus before. (TMI alert?) I would not stop puking to the point it was agonizing to the point of tears because my muscles were so exhausted. Which do you prefer: M&M's, Skittles, or Reese's Pieces? BITCH can I choose all???? But in almost any chocolate-related case, I will choose a Reese’s product. Where on your body would you never get a tattoo? I don’t plan on getting a face tattoo, or at least a big one. Maybe something small and cute. OH YEAH EW absolutely never getting my sclera tattooed. That looks painful as a motherfucker. Honestly, have you ever stuck gum under a table or desk? No, that shit is disgusting. If your parents could read your thoughts, would you be in trouble? Not usually. Mom might be mad sometimes when I’m angry at her. Have you ever egged somebody's house or car? No, that’s childish as shit. My childhood house was egged once, so it pisses me off especially. Do you like licorice? UGH no, that shit is disgusting. Did anybody ever read bedtime stories to you when you were younger? My mom did. Which natural disaster do you find the most terrifying? Tornadoes or earthquakes. Do you have a favorite Johnny Depp movie? What is it? Alice in Wonderland. If I gave you a Yo-Yo right now, could you do any tricks? Nope.

[juniperwindsong]

Dragonology 101 (10/10)

Summary: There's no fanfare or applause, no sudden beam of light that shines down onto Felix as he makes his decision; the way such a life-changing decision really deserves, he thinks. There's just the instant when he knows what he's going to do, as surely and with as little wonder as if he had made the choice long ago and only just now remembered to inform himself.

"Last minute cramming, Rosier? Most unlike you!"

Felix looks up from the letter he's engrossed in, startled by the voice of the girl perched on the very edge of the bench beside him. Her hands wring together in her lap nervously, and her lips twitch in the rough facsimile of a smile. But, like all the other seventh years waiting to take their Defense Against the Dark Arts practical exam, it's an expression she's almost forgotten how to make. The faces in the small room run the spectrum from anxious to down right terrified, and the girl next to him isn't the only one whose hands are shaking.

Tilting the parchment away from the girl's prying eyes, Felix makes a vague sort of grunting noise hoping to dissuade any further questions when he hears his name called from the doorway. He re-folds the letter carefully along its well worn creases, and slips it into the pocket of his trousers where he imagines he can feel its slight weight against his leg. Standing briskly, he and four of his classmates follow the wizened NEWT official into the Great Hall.

It's lucky he's excellent at practical examinations, Felix reflects, as he's never revised so little for a test in his life. In spite of the fact that he has not practiced or even opened a book in the last two days, the counterjinx he casts is flawless and receives an enthusiastic nod from his suitably impressed examiner.

Kettleburn assures me you excel under pressure...are uniquely qualified...asserts that you subdued the Common Welsh Green practically single handed... One of his favorite phrases from the letter drifts through Felix's mind, and he swells with pride, deflecting the examiner's hex with such force the man stumbles.

"Well done, Mr. Rosier!" the NEWT official gushes after the exam has concluded. Felix thanks him with as much modesty as he can muster. "I must say, I've rarely seen anyone so composed during a NEWT. May I ask what career path you are planning to pursue?"

Felix's self-satisfied smile withers as nerves attack his confidence for the first time that morning. He mumbles something noncommittal and scurries away from the hall as quickly as dignity allows.

Students are milling about just outside the entrance, rehashing their performance and comparing comments from their examiners. Felix skirts the edges of the crowd to avoid being hailed by anyone he knows and makes a beeline for the open castle doors. The grounds are full of laughing underclassman, unburdened by exams, basking in the warmth that has finally arrived after the unreasonably long, cold winter. Students lay sprawled out on the grass, propped under trees, or splashing each other merrily at the edges of the Black Lake, but Felix passes them all without seeing, focused entirely on the letter he's retrieved from his pocket and unfolds carefully as he walks.

The letter arrived two days before, and since then Felix has carried it with him everywhere. He's afraid to leave it in his room, cannot bear to keep it even as far away as his school bag, for fear it might vanish. No matter how real the now well-worn parchment feels in his hands, part of him is still convinced it's a figment of his imagination.

Felix's legs move without guidance from his brain, which is just as well since his brain is too preoccupied at the moment to be bothered with anything quite so trivial as where he's going. He's peripherally aware of sloping, uneven ground under his feet, and the sounds of merry laughter behind him growing fainter. He scans the cramped, uneven handwriting, searching feverishly for that line he has memorized and yet is compelled to see in print every few minutes.

"...my pleasure to offer you a position as my junior field assistant on an expedition the Reserve is sponsoring in Peru..."

A joke, Felix thought the first time he read it; it's someone's horrid idea of a joke. Only who could have thought up such a thing? No one except Kettleburn and Juniper knows about his adventure of the last term, and the letter references the Common Welsh Green and the Reserve specifically. He's considered more than once whether this might be some misguided attempt of Juniper's to trick him into pursuing Dragonology. But that's quite the elaborate scheme even for her. And besides, it isn't her handwriting. He's double-checked.

Felix thrusts aside branches and skirts clumps of overgrown grasses, dimly aware of a change in the light but unable to ascribe any meaning to it. The letter is real, then. It has to be. As unbelievable as it seems, he's spent two days considering every other possibility and nothing else adds up. He holds in his hand a real opportunity to study dragons out in the field. A once in a lifetime offer from a respected Dragonologist who chose him without an application, without NEWT scores, without even meeting him. Just based on Sparky's now legendary origin story and Kettleburn's recommendation.

It's everything Felix has never let himself even hope for; a longing relegated to the deepest recesses of late night fantasies; a very literal dream come true. And yet, Felix vacillates between overjoyed and overwhelmed. Because the choice it requires of him is so daunting it leaves him dizzy and weak in the knees.

Felix picks his way through the tightly intertwined branches without conscious effort, as though it were second nature. Which it is. He realises where his feet have led him only when they stop just at the edge of the valley where he spent half of the last term. The best half, he thinks. Maybe the best part of the last seven years. He drops to the ground, suddenly exhausted, and surveys the ditch in front of him. With the dragon gone, it seems so much larger.

How can he accept? How can he not accept?

For a moment, Felix permits himself to imagine what it would be like to say yes. He swings his legs over the side of the ledge, allowing a thrill to course through him at the thought of making his dream a reality, living out a true adventure. He tries to picture himself deep in the wilds of a South American rain forest, tracking the Peruvian Vipertooth with nothing but his wits and his wand, but fails entirely. He has no frame of reference for this. Even after pulling down every book on geography the library contains (astonishingly few), his only impression of Peru is a small dark green space on an old fashioned map.

Felix wonders briefly if the library at home might have anything more informative, but that thought sends his heart sinking into stomach. Because equally hard to picture as life in Peru is the conversation it would require with his father. It wouldn't even be a conversation, he thinks, kicking restlessly at the earth wall beneath him. It would simply be his father's deadly quiet voice and his swiftly drawn wand reminding Felix who is his and where he belongs, and Felix passively accepting this the way he always has.

The writhing in his stomach at the thought of his pre-destined future is horribly familiar, but now it's accompanied by something different, something stronger: a wave of grief that breaks over his head with such intensity it forces his eyes shut. Felix grips the grass beneath his fingers tightly. He knows what loss feels like now. He didn't before. Can he live forever with the loss of this? Everything's he's ever dreamed of handed to him so perfectly?

He can't decide. He's run through these arguments so many times the last few days they feel as creased and faded as the letter itself. Felix wishes there were someone he could talk to about it who could offer perspective. He knows Juniper would listen, if he managed to track her down, but the last thing he needs now is for his awkward feelings for her to over-complicate a situation already fraught with difficulty. Besides, Felix knows exactly what she would say, can even picture how she would look saying it. The voice in his head urging him to go sounds remarkably like hers. And the other voice is his father's. He needs a new voice, someone whose answer isn't predetermined.

Glancing back down at the letter, Felix's eye is caught by that phrase, Kettleburn has assured me....

-

Felix treks out of the forest and toward the Care of Magical Creatures paddock just as a group of third years are finishing their final exam. Students in red and green ties run frantically about the enclosure attempting to round up what looks like a small army of nifflers. He can see Barnaby Lee toting an armful of the struggling creatures toward a large open box, and Liz Tuttle balancing a niffler on each shoulder, plying them with treats. Grinning slightly to himself, Felix wonders if this is part of the exam or merely another creature prison break. Kettleburn stands off to the side, laughing heartily, which offers no additional insight.

Not wanting to be recognized by anyone, Felix takes his time approaching the paddock. He waits for the teenagers to deposit their nifflers, then gather up their things, laughing and chatting happily with each other as if they haven't any real cares at all. It's like looking through a window into a different world, Felix thinks wistfully, one where the weight of the entire future isn't hanging ominously over anyone's head.

"Well, if it isn't my aspiring Dragonologist! How are you, lad?" Kettleburn exclaims jovially as Felix clambers over the perimeter fence and enters the paddock. A few lagging third years look around to see whom Kettleburn is referring to. Felix feels his cheeks heat up, and he tugs at his collar in a hopeless attempt to shield his face from recognition.

"Fine, Professor, thank you," he answers uncomfortably. He shoots a look at the now clearly eavesdropping third years, so curious to know what could bring a seventh year out of the library on NEWT week. Kettleburn follows his gaze, then gestures at the gaggle of students as if shooing them away.

"Go on, you lot, off to dinner then!" Reluctantly, they hoist their bags onto their shoulders and trot back up to the castle.

Kettleburn twists from side to side to make sure there's no one else still hanging around before saying in an unnecessary whisper, "If you're here about that dragon, I can tell you he is doing swimmingly at the Reserve!"

For the first time in two days, Felix finds something to distract him from the letter. "Have they been able to fix his wing, then?"

"Not to my knowledge no," Kettleburn's moustache droops a little as he frowns, "But he did have his first flame a week ago! Very momentous occasion, so sorry you couldn't be there. Though from what I hear, you'll soon be seeing as much dragon-fire as you could hope for. Congratulations, by the way!"

"Oh..." Felix flounders for something polite to say that won't betray his indecision. "Yes. That is - thank you, sir."

"Well, was there anything I could do for you, lad?" asks Kettleburn. "Not harboring any other dangerous creatures are we? Haven't perhaps found that old yeti of mine?" He sounds rather hopeful, but Felix shakes his head.

"No sir. I...I actually wanted to ask you a question about the letter I received from the Reserve-"

"Hang on," Kettleburn interrupts, limping quickly around Felix to where the box of nifflers has begun to shake alarmingly, the creatures inside working together to capsize their prison. The professor steadies the box before it tips and places his hand firmly against the top to prevent any nifflers from popping up that way.

"Mischievous little blighters. Hate to keep them cooped up, but they're in time-out you see. Gnawed through my favorite leg when I wasn't watching." Kettleburn casts a glance back at Felix, hand still keeping the protesting box as still as possible. "What were you saying, lad?"

"I was just saying..." Felix struggles to regain his train of thought. "The letter I received mentions that you recommended me personally."

"Of course!" declares Kettleburn proudly. "Never met students could handle a dragon the way you and Miss Windsong did for so long with so little disaster! I had a hard time convincing anyone at the Reserve I wasn't exaggerating!"

Felix watches as tiny fingered paws begin to poke through the cracks at the top of the box, and he has to work hard not to crack a grin, the tension constricting his chest easing slightly.

"Yes sir, but...before that."

"Before?" repeats Kettleburn distractedly as he pokes the nifflers' paws back into the box one at a time.

"Before you found out about the dragon," clarifies Felix. "When I asked you if you had any contacts in dragonology, you said... you thought it was an excellent career choice for me?"

Kettleburn finally draws his wand and flicks it toward the top of the box wordlessly, making it go still. He straightens up, brushing off his kilt.

"I did indeed."

"But...why?" Felix asks unable to keep his voice casual or unconcerned in the face of the question he's been dying to know the answer to since November.

"Why?" Kettleburn fixes his one eye on Felix in a critical stare, as if deciding whether or not he's joking. But Felix has never been more serious in his life. "Do you know what most dragonologists have in common, Mr. Rosier?"

Felix shakes his head.

"Well, they all look a good bit like me." Kettleburn waves his replacement arm up and down the length of his body, indicating his many missing limbs. "You see, wizards who work with dangerous creatures generally have an excess of enthusiasm but lack what you might call self-preservation. You need a decent bit of both to be successful, but Magizoologists, and Dragonologists in particular, tend to put a premium on the former. We're a passionate bunch - have to be! But it does tend to shorten your life span and your number of natural limbs," Kettleburn concludes almost wistfully, regarding his own wooden leg which Felix notices is riddled with tiny niffler-sized toothmarks.

"But you, lad!' Kettleburn adds, pointing his claw at Felix. "You have something else."

"What?" breathes Felix, eager as a child on Christmas.

"Why, a good bit of common sense!" Kettleburn exclaims, arms spread wide as if this were the most obvious thing in the world. "Let me ask you, what do you think would have happened to Miss Windsong had you not been there to assist her with that dragon?"

Both the professor's answer and his follow-up question surprise Felix. He casts his mind back to the previous term, trying to imagine what each interaction with Sparky would have been like for Juniper alone. She did visit the dragon on her own for nearly a month before he joined her. And she was admittedly, more careful when approaching the dragon than Felix had ever seen her with anything else. But what would have happened once she decided Sparky needed exercise? Felix had orchestrated every successful part of that plan. Would she have tried to shrink the dragon like she first suggested? He doubts she could have managed it on her own, but if she had, if she freed Sparky from the ditch and led him to the grasslands by herself? Felix remembers the murderous look on the dragon's face and he feels suddenly queasy.

"I gather that you were rather the sensible one between the two of you," Kettleburn asserts. "And a dragonologist with a degree of sense is a rare find indeed. It would make you an impressive addition to any team. Not to mention increase your chances of survival by a good deal."

Felix turns this over in his mind. It's a perspective he hasn't considered. As much as he loves dragonology, it hasn't occurred to him that he might bring something unique and necessary to the profession. It makes his decision somehow bigger than just himself and his family.

Kettleburn limps toward Felix. "Dragonology isn't exactly a glamorous career, lad. It's dirty and tedious and pays precious little, and you'll see more than your fair share of danger. And it isn't the sort of thing you can change your mind about halfway through. You have to be determined, dedicated, able to withstand a great deal of hardship." The tall professor claps his good hand to Felix's shoulder encouragingly. "But it seems to me that a young man who's spent half a year secretly caring for a dragon with no hope of any reward but a great deal of risk including expulsion, on top of a seventh year's class schedule and NEWT studies- that's a person who's positively born for dragons. I can't imagine you won't make a name for yourself."

There's no fanfare or applause, no sudden beam of light that shines down onto Felix as he makes his decision; the way such a life-changing decision really deserves, he thinks. There's just the instant when he knows what he's going to do, as surely and with as little wonder as if he had made the choice long ago and only just now remembered to inform himself. He isn't going home. He isn't going to worry about what his parents want him to do or become. He's going to Peru to be a dragonologist, to make a name for himself, and start making the people who actually care about him proud for a change.

Kettleburn stands back and surveys Felix, slightly concerned. "Not having second thoughts, are you lad?" and Felix smiles, a real, joyful smile with no hint of a smirk, like the sun emerging from behind clouds.

"Not at all, sir. Thank you. For everything."

-

An easy decision, then, in the end. Felix crafts his acceptance letter flawlessly in one draft, as though he's known the whole time what his answer would be and has been composing the reply in his head. He sends the letter off the same day, and as he descends the owlery stairs, he feels like a brand new person.

Much less easy is the letter to his parents. An hour after Felix begins, the floor is littered with parchment and his hair is on end as he struggles to find a way of explaining what to them will be brand new and bizarre information. Nothing he writes will make them understand, he's sure of that. It's quite possible they won't even believe it. He imagines his father's indignant reply will accuse him of some NEWT induced madness, perhaps even in the form of a howler in an attempt to scare him to his senses.

Eventually, Felix writes the simple facts of the matter and seals the letter before he can reconsider. There will be fallout, he has no doubt. But somehow, now that he's made his decision, that knowledge is less frightening than it used to be. It's simply another hurdle in the way of his goal, one that he will inevitably overcome.

Only it's not a letter or a howler that arrives at school the morning Felix prepares to sit his final NEWT in Potions. As he makes his way to the Great Hall along with the other seventh year Slytherins, all quizzing each other frantically in hushed tones, he hears a voice saying his name from somewhere behind him. The voice isn't loud, but it carries with ease over his classmates susurrations. It's a quiet, deadly voice that Felix would recognize anywhere, even if he's never expected to hear it here at Hogwarts before.

Felix whips around in thunderstruck horror to find his father. He stands outside the door to Snape's office, the professor himself hovering just behind him. Felix notices distantly that his head of house seems even more displeased than usual and he addresses Felix's father in his most politely venomous tone.

"Mr. Rosier, your son is due to sit his final NEWT momentarily. Surely, this can wait."

"Absolutely not." His father's voice does not increase in volume but broaches no argument. Students around Felix are turning to stare and he can feel a heat rising in his cheeks that would keep a salamander content.

Snape's eyes flick once to the hallway around Felix before saying smoothly, "Then this conversation should be moved elsewhere." He jerks open the door to his office and waits pointedly beside it. Felix's father gives his son one last empty-eyed stare before stalking into the room leaving Felix to follow.

Felix uses the dozen steps to the dungeon to steel his nerve against the rise of instinctual panic within him. He's faced down a dragon, he reminds himself fiercely, why is his father so much more frightening? Kettleburn assures me you are excellent under pressure, he repeats like a mantra. But for some reason, he cannot harness that acumen that has brought him so far. He has no plan of attack against his father, no way to defend. He never has.

"What is this rubbish?" His father murmurs dangerously as soon as the door snaps shut behind Felix. He brandishes his son's letter in two fingers as though it were something filthy.

Felix takes a deep breath. And then another. Kettleburn assures me...

"It's a letter," he says simply. He doesn't intend this remark to sound as sarcastic as it does, but his father's eyes flash with fury and his hand creeps toward the pocket of his robes. Felix suppresses his involuntary twitch.

"No. It isn't," his father contradicts. "It's raving nonsense is what it is. 'Dragons and South America'," he utters contemptuously, glancing down at the offending words. "You consider this some sort of drollery, I assume? Perhaps if you tell me the name of the person who put you up to such a joke, you might be spared the more severe repercussions."

Snape doesn't keep chairs or sofas in his office for students to sit on leaving a large amount of open floor space, yet Felix's father seems to fill up the entire room with his presence, trapping Felix against the door. His heart is pounding so loudly he cannot hear himself think.

"It's not. A joke," he stammers. The weakness in his voice feeds the cold fire in his father's eyes. Deep breath. Focus. "As I explained in my letter, I received an extraordinary offer to accompany a highly respected Dragonoligist on an expedition in Peru. This offer is time sensitive and rare. I would be amiss not to accept it."

In almost eighteen years, Felix has never once seen his father speechless. Furious and raging, yes; cold and deadly, often; but never with his dark, empty eyes so round and wide, and his mouth hanging slightly open like a fish. It changes his father's aspect entirely. And Felix can hear Juniper's voice in his head, He's just a parent. He's not infallible. And he feels the fear begin to leak slowly from him like air from a balloon.

"What...is this madness?" Felix watches his father struggle to collect himself, can see wheels turning behind his eyes as he tries to regain control of the discussion. He suddenly turns and jabs a finger toward Snape, seemingly desperate for someone to whom he can attribute blame. "Where have you been in all this?"

Felix is impressed to find Snape entirely unintimidated by the fuming man in front of him.

"This is as much news to me as it is to you, Mr. Rosier. Your son has never confided in me any particular interest in Dragonology." Felix notices his father is several inches shorter than Snape. In fact, Felix thinks his father might actually be an inch or two shorter than himself. The image of his father in his head has always been like a statue, towering over him from a height Felix will never reach. It's strange to realize how small he actually is.

"No, I haven't. But it isn't new," Felix declares, his voice stronger. Both men turn to stare at him. "I've always been passionate about dragons. And this year I had the opportunity to interact with one and discovered I have quite a talent for it." He does not neglect to infuse his voice with the pride he feels is justified. "Professor Kettleburn was suitably impressed and recommended me to a friend he has at the Romanian Reserve. They believe I am uniquely qualified, and I was offered the position personally without an application or test scores. I've decided to take it."

Felix's father begins that slow saunter forward that Felix knows so well and alarm bells sound in his brain. But now he can see that his father is just another beast, his calculated steps merely an intimidation technique. His father's hand flicks lazily to his wand, but Felix can focus through the fear. Excellent under pressure...uniquely qualified. He tenses his muscles precisely, ready to dodge whatever spell his father chooses to throw, the same way he's dodged the snapping jaws of a dragon.

"You listen to me." His father's voice is barely a whisper. "This is a childishness I believed you were finally above but I see I have overestimated you. You are far too old to play these games-"

"You're right," Felix interjects calmly. He can hardly believe himself, because he has never done that before. Never even considered doing so. But like every other new and dangerous thing he's done this year, it comes with an incredible rush of excitement. "I am a legal adult now which means you cannot keep me from accepting this position. I can make my own decision regarding my future, and this is what I've decided."

His father might have turned to stone, he's so deathly still. Felix wonders if it's the confidence infused in his tone or simply that his father hasn't been contradicted by anyone in recent memory. Felix sets his face with grim determination, like a certain fourteen year old he knows so well. It's a look that doesn't yell or threaten, simply refuses to be cowed. But he's still himself, and so there's a smirk in it as well.

"Obviously, I would prefer that you see how this can be mutually advantageous. A position like this takes our name out of the spot light, yes, but it's still a position that carries prestige. It might be everything we need to repair the damage to the family reputation you caused." His father blinks, the first sign of life from him. "But if you cannot see that, nothing changes. This is what I've chosen."

Something shifts in the elder Rosier's face. The frozen features seem to melt slightly and a look that Felix recognises crosses his face briefly. He's seen his father look that way at Evan many times, but it isn't a look he ever seen directed at himself. It's respect.

"Well," his father pronounces finally, face now a careful mask. "I suppose congratulations are in order." He gives his son an infinitesimal nod, and if Snape suddenly began singing Celestina Warbeck in the background it would not have surprised Felix more. "It seems you've found yourself a bit of power. You might not be the waste of a name I considered you." His eyes meet Felix's in the closest thing to approval that Felix has ever experienced from him as he closes the distance between them.

"I will allow you to have your lark, for now. But know this, Felix," and he sets his hand briefly upon his son's shoulder. "Power without direction is meaningless. And often disastrous. The time will come when your power will need to be harnessed to a cause greater than yourself. And far more important than dragons."

And with that final pronouncement as his only farewell, his father sweeps from the dungeon, leaving Felix to somehow right the world from where it's been turned upside down. Felix is as dazed as if his father had hit him with a stunning spell, and he would be mortified if he had any concept of the slack-jawed expression of disbelief on his face.

"Mr. Rosier," Snape's voice drifts toward him from somewhere faraway. "You will need to proceed to your potions NEWT if you do not wish to receive a failing grade."

Felix nods dazedly, and exits the office as if he's floating. He wanders up the passage, legs moving of their own accord as his brain tries to comprehend the last ten minutes. In seventeen years of seeking his father's approval, is it possible he's found it by standing up against him?

Once again, Felix is thankful that he tests so well, because he has never been more distracted during an examination.

-

Click. Felix shuts the door to the horseless carriage carefully behind the last of the excitedly chattering first years. He scrutinizes the thinning crowd of students waiting to be ferried to the Hogwarts express to be sure he hasn't missed anyone, when he hears his name being called. Felix turns to see Barnaby Lee practically falling from the window of a nearby carriage in his attempt to flag Felix down.

"Felix, over here! Please?"

Shaking his head ruefully, Felix makes his way to the carriage and clambers in, settling himself beside Barnaby, much to the younger boy's obvious pleasure. It isn't until he's already seated and the carriage has begun to move that he realises the opposite seats are filled by Rowan Khanna and Juniper Windsong.

"I can't believe you won't be back next year," Barnaby laments, his face, always full of exactly what he's feeling, now the picture of dejection.

"Slytherin has other prefects, Barnaby. They'll help you with anything you need, that's their job." Felix tries to sound reassuring, but he can't focus properly. It's the first time he's been this close to Juniper since they said goodbye in the common room weeks ago, and he's acutely aware of her eyes on him.

"Yes, but not like you," Barnaby objects. "You never call me stupid or complain when I don't get things right away, like the other ones do. I don't know how I'll pass any of my classes now."

"You can revise with us!" Rowan blurts out, leaning forward excitedly in her seat.

"You wouldn't want to revise with me," replies Barnaby, sadly. "I'll just slow you down. I never understand anything. It used to drive Merula mad."

"There's nothing wrong with taking it slow, " Juniper chimes in. "Everyone struggles with something. Rowan's no good with creatures and I'm rubbish at Transfiguration. But we help each other. No matter how long it takes."

"Really?" Barnaby's face reflects earnest curiousity.

"Of course," says Juniper with a light, good-natured laugh. "That's what friends are for." And Felix has no time to glance away from her before she catches his eye, as if searching for his approval.

Felix feels like he might burst from the swell of pride and fondness he feels for her. He nods very slightly.

"Looks like you're in good hands, Barnaby," he says, giving the other boy a small smile of solidarity. "But if you ever need any particular advice, you can always write me."

Barnaby's face lights up again. "Really? Are you staying in London, then? You could come visit us sometime!" The younger boy is nearly bouncing in his seat with the force of his excitement. Felix has to work immensely hard to keep his smile from growing out of control.

"No actually, I have a job lined up in Peru," He says this casually, flicking back a loose piece of hair from his forehead and basking in the impressed looks on everyone's faces. Including Juniper's.

"What's that?" asks Barnaby confused.

"You mean 'where's that?' and the answer is it's a country in South America." Rowan answers promptly before anyone else can get a word in.

"But...that's so far away!" Barnaby exclaims, his eyes wide with concern. "What are you doing there?"

Felix takes a moment to savor his next words. "I'll be joining a team of Dragonologists working with the Peruvian Vipertooth. They're the fastest breeding dragons and they terrorize the locals if left on their own, so there's always a small team there responsible for keeping the population in check. Should be a good experience."

There's a brief silence before Barnaby and Rowan jump in with half a dozen follow-up questions, each talking over the other and eager to hear more. Felix answers them non-nonchalantly, explaining that he's meeting the expedition team at the Three Broomsticks instead of taking the Hogwarts Express back to London, all as if they were discussing nothing more exceptional than History of Magic homework. He keeps his eyes firmly fixed on the two of them, refusing to glance at Juniper except from the very corner of his eye. She's too blurry to read an expression from, but the silence she maintains is not like her at all.

They reach the station in what feels to Felix like record time, and as he climbs out of the carriage he feels nerves begin to buzz within him pleasantly. He watches the students around him rush for the idling train, calling to friends and searching for empty compartments, and feels a pang of homesickness for this moment he will never have again.

Then Barnaby pulls Felix into a crushing hug from behind, and he can't stop himself chuckling. The boy is four years younger than Felix, but just as tall and already broader. There are tears in Barnaby's eyes when he pulls away which alarms Felix slightly, so he turns to wave and nod at Khanna already making her way toward the train to save seats. Barnaby follows her, lifting their collective trunks easily.

Finally, Felix has no choice but to turn his gaze to Juniper. She's still standing by the carriage watching him, face entirely unreadable, which is odd in and of itself since Felix now considers himself an expert in interpreting her expressions.

"Well, farewell then," is what Felix begins to say before Juniper cuts him off.

"Felix, are you serious? You're really going to Peru? To study dragons?" It's that chaotic way of speaking she resorts to when she can't string a full sentence together. And there's no way he can prevent his smile from broadening now.

"Yes. Kettleburn's friend from the Reserve made me an offer."

Juniper simply stares. Then she crosses the distance between them in the space of a heartbeat and flings her arms around Felix's neck, pulling him into a hug with much the same force as Barnaby's in spite of the fact that she's half as wide and nowhere near as tall. Felix is overwhelmed by her scent, and the feel of her closer to him than she's ever been. But before he can begin to think what to do next, before he can even hug her back properly, she's let go.

A heat like dragonfire radiates from Felix's cheeks. "What...was that for?" he slurs dazedly, rubbing the back of his neck.

I"m just..." Juniper breaks off, shaking her head. She seems as overwhelmed as Felix feels. "I'm just really, really happy for you." The grin plastered to her face is so wide she has to hide it with her hand.

And Felix smiles back, still red but now betraying some of the building excitement he feels for what's ahead. If there's anyone who truly understands what this means to him, it's Juniper. And in spite of his promise to himself that he would keep his distance from her until he left school, he's glad she knows.

"Will you write?" asks Juniper, "When you can, I mean. I know you'll be busy, I'd just... like to hear about it."

"I'll try," Felix replies noncommittally. Juniper nods as though she understands the reason for his reticence, but she can't possibly. He hopes.

"You're going to be great," she declares simply, and Felix's smile morphs into his customary smirk.

"Of course I am."

Juniper rolls her eyes. "Of course," she agrees, only half mocking.

Rowan calls down from the train, now billowing steam back across the nearly empty platform, and Juniper starts. She sprints toward the train, stopping at the stairs to shoot Felix a final lop-sided grin before climbing into her compartment. The three newly graduated third years wave down to Felix as the train begins to move and he waves back, the lump in his throat surprising him.

The earth-shattering excitement of the last weeks has prevented Felix from really processing that this is it; he's truly leaving Hogwarts forever. He's no longer a student, no longer a child, but a fully-grown wizard about to begin his real life. Felix has spent most of the year picturing this moment with dread, but everything's changed now. The next stage of his life is no longer a black spectre looming ahead of him, but an adventure the likes of which he never thought he'd see. He can feel that tremendous pounding of his heart in his chest that means he's about to attempt something new and dangerous and incredible. Felix lets the familiar sensation wash over him, and he smiles as he takes his first step toward the Three Broomsticks and into his new and unexpected future.

-

A/N: Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this story, I’d love to hear it. If you want more Felix and Juniper, check out the sequel, Necessary Monsters, or view my HPHM Fanfiction Masterpost here.

[scentedsongrebel]

A Normal Day

Summary: MARAUDER’S ERA

 "Oh God! Potter I have been declining your requests on going out with you ever since I can remember and now suddenly you think I wrote you a love letter? Just an ordinary day in the life of one Remus John Lupin.

Warnings: None? Minor cursing maybe?

Word Count:  1,851

Remus Lupin POV

It was a normal day. Now some of you would raise an eyebrow at my reference of 'normal' and I see why you'd say that because sounds of shouting around the common room late at night is something which most of you don't consider to be normal. But for me, it was nothing quiet out of the ordinary. It was a normal day.

"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?" I hear a girlish voice shout

"No, I have found my everything" a boy replies and I don't even have to focus to know who it was and I think not even a single person in this Gryffindor common room (including the new first years) has to turn to see who it is.

I still focus my attention on the on-going fight out of which I so peacefully got distracted.

"IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE HELL UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE, POTTER I WILL KILL YOU"

 Lily was shouting her hands closed tightly in a fist, she has no wand and I feel a bit relieved for she cannot hex my friend but as I look into her usually emerald eyes I clear all my assumptions. Hell she could kill James with her hands with the amount of anger in her eyes which now so mysteriously have turned red. Well not so mysteriously but that's out of the point.

"Oh sweet Lily-flower, you hurt me so much" James says clutching his heart in mock hurt and shaking his head and I can't help myself but say it

"Umm James your heart's on the left side mate" and as I say it I receive a glare and a pat on the shoulder by James and Sirius respectively.

"Oh! Dearest Moony, you see how much hurt my heart is actually bearing because I feel the pain on the other side" James says winking and I feel the corners of my mouth twisting in a small smile. Trust James to take change everything in his favor. Actually trust Sirius to change everything in his favor but again that’s not the point.

"No Remus, don't smile" Lily says frowning "you're encouraging him".

"Umm sorry Lils?" I say uncertainly 

Lily continues to frown. At the corner of my eyes I can see Marlene Mckinnon clutching her stomach to control laughter and Alice just arriving, asking Mary about the events to which she just shakes her head, she too not able to conceal laughter.

"Okay what's going on?" Alice who seems to have given up on asking her friends turns to main origin of the on-going fight.

"Well well well" James says smiling at Alice "You see Lily-flower here sent me a letter confessing her undying love for me" and just as he says it Lily gets even angrier. The frown of earlier turned in a growl of irritation as Alice starts to laugh joining her already laughing friends. I just realize when I have to hold on to Peter for support how much I too have been laughing on the news. Sirius on the other hand tries to look as determined as James but the amusement on his face betrays him.

"No Potter, I did not" Lily says calmly this but her face and clenched teeth tell otherwise

"You did….see" he says moving a piece of paper in front of her

"I did not" Lily now whines "oh! God, Potter I have been declining your requests on going out with you ever since I can remember and now suddenly you think I wrote you a love letter? Does it says my name?" she says and then snatches the letter out of James' hold "let me see"

As she examines the contents of the letter a satisfactory smile embraces the tips of her lips and she looks up to meet James' eyes 

"see it does not say my name and that's not even my handwriting"

James looks a bit dejected at this revelation but quickly regains his smirk "Who on earth will send me a love letter other than you?" he says pointing his finger at Lily who seems to get a little amused and I feel she too would burst out laughing but a reply comes from behind her

"Really James?" Marlene says emerging from behind Lily, an unending smile on her lips "The question should be 'who else could it not be except you'?" 

And I have to agree with her. Every girl except our dear Lily dies for James' charm… Well maybe not Marlene but she considers him her brother because of their parents' friendship and Alice who seems to be lost in the 6th year Frank Longbottom too much and a few but except for them, every girl.

"Well James, I think no I am sure Marlene is right" I say moving forward towards Lily and taking the letter from her hands to examine it. I had already seen it earlier in our dorm when we arrived from our daily trips to the kitchen to find this letter on James' bed. James was really excited for he quickly assumed it was from Lily and I tried to object but eventually went with it. Even I enjoy a little laugh and scene in the common room.

Sirius tries to tell me that they read the letter already and I don't have to read it but I don't listen. The boys who can assume Lily sent a love letter to James cannot be trusted to read a letter carefully.

I read the contents of the letter carefully

Dear My Jamesee-poo,

I have been drooling over you from a very long time now and it feels horrible to not to get to be with you all the time, to not call you my boy-friend, not being able to kiss you, to hug you and I write this letter today to confess my deep undying feelings to you.

The first thing I want to do is apologise to you for not liking you for sooooo long. I was an idiot, I had no brains, well I had a brain but It was not working. Okay so it was working but not thinking the right way. But now it has found its right way and I realize how much I love you. Oh! James I can't live without you and I would spend my entire life waiting for you, no matter how long it takes.

You must think I may be mad but I won't deny cause I am mad for you. I have no idea what I see in you? Why I see you as the love of my life when you have a sooo handsome best mate who I can spend my life with? Oh! Sirius is handsome so much… No but I love you, yes I do it, I love you a lot…

Yours

Secret love girl

The writing in the letter looks so insanely similar that I read the letter again. Where have I seen this writing? Uh and then I see it, the grammatical errors and the comments on James' best mate. I immediately snap my head towards him and our eyes meet. He gives me a sly smile and a pleading look. 

It's Sirius! Sirius wrote James a love letter? Sirius loves James? Sirius hated James at first but now wants to hug him? Kiss him? Sirius? Sirius and James? But James loves Lily and I thought Sirius’ love for James was platonic…. Guess he hid it so well.

I look at him, the confusion evident in my eyes. He just looks at me for some time, confused but realizes what I mean and his eyes widen.

"NO NO NO" He shouts and all heads snap in his direction

"Umm Sirius pal?" James asks confused and puts a hand on his shoulder. Sirius quickly shrugs it off looking horrified.

"I'm fine, just remembered about something" he says "a 'prank'" he says emphasizing the word "Prank" looking at me and I understand. It's a prank, a prank huh! How could I have been so stupid? Of-course it's a prank.

"A prank?" It was Marlene "then why were you shouting NO?"

"umm the prank went wrong" he says itching the back of his head

"So you realised the prank went wrong just standing here just as Remus read the letter and looked at you?" she asks raising her eyebrows

"Yeah" he says coolly. Lily looks at him and then suddenly snatches the letter off my hand. James just looks confused, mirroring the look Peter almost always wears. Just as she reads it Sirius passes me a scared look and I see Marlene smirking, understanding something.

"Oh my god!" Lily exclaims as she finishes reading the letter and looks at Sirius who starts to move backwards "YOU FANCY JAMES!" she literally shouts pointing at Sirius, causing a lot of heads to turn our way.

"WHAT?" James exclaims in unison with Alice, Mary and Peter while Marlene and I just burst off laughing.

"NO NO NO" Sirius shouts on top of his lungs looking disgusted then looks at James and shouts again "NO…. Oh god! Lily… NO! and people say you and Moony are the smartest" we raise an eyebrow "Please, how can you… Uh!... It was a Prank"

"A what?" James says looking at Sirius with his eyebrows raised, his fist closing. Lily seems to have realized and gives out a weak laugh which turns into a loud laughter.

"A- a- a" Sirius looks to have lost words and just runs away while all of us start laughing while James looks like he won't shy away from committing a murder.

"That dog" James says through clenched teeth and then looks at Lily with a sly smile 

"Well not today but trust me Evans, someday you will send me a love letter, Now if you'll excuse me I have you kill my best friend. Moony help me dispose off the body will you?" he asks and I just laugh

"Of-course I will, come Pete" I say waving my hand towards Peter. We always forget him.

We go towards the 5th year dormitory because I know James won't beat him off but the revenge would be something equally fishy and as I said, I love a laugh. Sometimes I think how I am friends with these weirdos but sometimes I don't. I just love them and every adventure that has become my life.

So I just go off with 2 of the very little people that mean so much to me planning off the murder of the third. 

It is a normal day.

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 15.09.17 lb

anika’s had enough of the husband being a right pain in her butt and put the phone on airplane mode. 😆😆😆

shivaay, it’s not like you were telling her your feelings over the phone anyway. lbr, you were just calling and being like “achcha wyd? hmmm. theek hai.” ad nauseam. 🙄🙄🙄

he decides to do the completely normal thing in this situation. no, not calm the f down and get a hobby or something, but to write a letter instead. 😐😐😐

knowing his extraaaaa ass, he’ll get khanna to deliver it as well. 😌😌😌

my aesthetic of the day: billu repeatedly saying the word “chitthi” till it doesn’t make sense anymore. 😁😁😁

FOR FUCKS SAKE SHIVAAY, KHANNA IS SECURITY. NOT YOUR… PERSONAL SHOPPER. IT’S NOT HIS JOB TO BUY YOU FANCY SCENTED PAPER TO WRITE LOVE LETTERS ON. 😒😒😒

“GET ME THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PAPER ON EARTH!!!!!!”

jesus christ, this man is intolerable. how khanna himself hasn’t killed him, is beyond me. khanna deserves a damn raise. 😣😣😣

look how pleased he is with himself. 🙄🙄🙄

lo, udhar gauri came back home, shivaay comforted her, got a champi, talked about love letters, raat se din ho gayi, par idhar om ki exhibition abhi bhi chal rahi hai. 😑😑😑

great, this snobby couple are back. why are all rich people who are into art so damn pretentious and such assholes? 😤😤😤

UM EXCUSE ME, WHO THE FUCK EVEN ARE YOU PEOPLE TO SAY THESE THINGS???? EXHIBITION HAI, PAINTING DEKHO AUR CHALTE BANO. LITERALLY NO ONE ASKED YOU FOR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE HERE. 😒😒😒

om, why the fuckkkkkkk can’t you say these things in front of herrrrr ughhhh 😫😫😫😫😫

ok omki ka paara chadh raha hai, he’s ready to cut a bougie bitch. 🔪🔪🔪🔪

sigh, i get it from his pov too: he wanted to protect her, from the shitty snobby people of his social class. my heart just hurtsssss. for the BOTH of them. 😭😭😭😭😭

om you better not get mad at her for this though. 😑😑😑

LMAO KHANNA GOT SHIVAAY NEWSPAPER. AND COZ HE SAID KHOOBSOORAT PAPER, HE GOT HIM THE ONE WITH ALL THE PICS OF THE MODELS 😂😂😂

omggg khanna did anika’s “i’m so smart” gesture. 😯😯😯

headcanon: anika and khanna actually hang out quite a bit. anika bitches a lot about “tumhare shivaay sir” to him and khanna fucking loves it. 😊😊😊

lord, he’s all heart-eyed just at the prospect of WRITING a letter. #saveHimFromHimself 😭😭😭

lmaoooooo khanna’s like sir you’re hanging out with omkara too much these days. you’re beginning to talk like him. “kuch HUA hai kya???” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

hahahaha khanna’s grin as he leaves. 😂😂😂

“svetlana???? kyaaa laaana????” 

lololololol. 😂😂😂😂

oh no. my fears and predictions came true. pinky’s teaming up with svetlana to blow this all up from the inside. ghar ka bhedi hi lanka dhaane waala hai. sighhh. 😕😕😕

khanna’s in serioussss danger of getting fired for his impertinence and nautanki today. 😐😐😐

“isse kya ho gaya??? lagta hai yeh bhi pyaar mein hai.”

nope, he’s just extra happy for his otp. remember, he’s literally been shipping you two since day 1. 😇😇😇

my god, this lovesick, besotted fooooool. 😭😭😭😭😭

ok paper 1 down. 

LOL BALLPOINT PEN MEIN ROMANCE NAHI HAI. 😆😆😆

paper 2 down. 

try #3 - with ink pen. 🖋🖋🖋

woooop! dadi alert! 😯😯😯

lollllll look at him trying to cover up. 😂😂😂

“main toh naye pen ki NIB dekh raha tha!” 

sure, bro. uh huh. 😆😆😆

dadi be calling out billu’s ajeebness. dadi, it’s too late tbh. pehle hi karti, iske bachpan mein, toh aaj yeh aisa nahi hota. 🙄🙄🙄

OMFG HIS SHARMAANA IS TOO CUTE AND I CAN’T STOP LAUGHINGGGGGG 😂😂😂😂😂😂

oh no dadi is singing again. dadi plz no. 😖😖😖😖

ok attempt # 3 continues. 

oh god, abhi handwriting gandiiiii hai. ouff, toh ab 10 din cursive writing practice karke likhega kya??? 😒😒😒

also, shout out to original “keede makode waali handwriting” 4 Lions Bade Bhaiyya, Arnav Singh Raizada 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand he’s giving up. awaiiii khanna ko itna bhagaaya “most beautiful paper in the world” ke liye. 😒😒😒

waaah. full fledged professional video cam leke aaya hai. why can’t you just use the front cam of your phone like NORMAL PPL shivaay. lord. 🙄🙄🙄

……. and he’s doing this in the living room. WHY??? 😣😣😣

wow. he’s handling this much better than i thought he would. must be all that media training and his comfort with the camera. 😐😐😐

lol awwww “main jaanta hoon thank you sunke tumhe bura laga and you don’t want to hear it ever again…” 

oh billu!!!!!!!

lmaoooo aw, he’s taking a break to drink paani. 

“i’m back.” ugh i am dying at how adorable he’s being. 😭😭😭

“anika, tumne toh apni khidkitod style mein jo kehna tha keh diya… lekin mujhse nahi hota, kyunki main main hoon…” 

oh man, he’s talking about dhadkanein and a kahaani and i’m already beginning to cry a little bit. 😥😥😥

“sunogi na? forward mat karna.” 

god howwwwwwww different they both look right now from that first ep. 

“tumne notice kiya??? MAIN BINA CRINGE KIYE GOBAR BOL RAHA HOON! GOBARGOBARGOBARGOBARGOBAR! I CAN SAY IT!” 

ok yuck shivvay stop hitting yourself in the head with your chappal. 😬😬😬

AW HE THOUGHT SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL RIGHT BACK THEN 😚😚😚

“toot tum rahi thi, lekin bikhar main raha tha.”

ok i… i’m really full-on crying right now. i can’t handle all these feelings. oh shivaaaaay. *holds him 5ever and cries* 😭😭😭😭😭

time for another paani break. 

pffffffft, i can’t believe you just said the words “hate chemistry”, shivaay. 🙄🙄🙄

MALLIKA. THEIR CUPID. GOD BLESS HER FOREVER. SHE’LL FOREVER REMAIN ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS THIS SHOW HAS EVER GIVEN ME. 💖💖💖💖💖💖 NO REALLY, LIKE, AFTER SHIVIKA AND RIKARA, I THINK I LOVE MALLIKA THE MOST.

“you’ve made me the luckiest man, anika. i feel like the luckiest man in this world today. tumhari wajah se.” 

i’m weeping like a damn bitch baby right now. 

“pehli baar jab tum meri baahon mein giri thi. pehli baar tumhe khone ka darr hua tha uss din. mujhe aise laga ki agar maine tumhe kho diya toh… duniya sahi nahi lagegi.”  . . . . . “meri engagement tia se ho chuki thi, lekin main soch… main tumhare baare mein hamesha sochta tha. ladta tha tumse, par khud se bhi ladta tha. pata nahi kyun, lekin tumhare saath rehne ki chaah thi hamesha mujhe.”

i can’t stop crying. 😭😭😭😭😭

i feel like they should really have had him apologize again and seem really remorseful about the whole daksh thing and the way he married her. like… that was seriously horrible, and he should have given her a proper official apology in this speech. 😐😐😐

oh harneet, the rest of this was A+ perfect, why didn’t you just write that bit in????? 😩😩😩

“insaan ko pyaar na ho toh kya ho???? tum ho hi aisi, yaar!”

he’s said “yaar” so many times in this speech. not complaining. just observing. 😶😶😶

…. mom ka dil jeet liya???? uh. no. 😑😑😑

come on. prettty huuuuuuuuuge slip up there. why wouldn’t they edit that out?? 😐😐😐

“main tumhe itna pyaar doonga, ke aansoon kya hote hai, tum bhool jaogi. itna pyaar karoonga, itna pyaar karoonga ki, main… mujhe nahi pata! saare jawaab mere paas nahi hai! sab kuch yaad nahi rehta!” 

billu now knows how we fangirls feel. no words. just flailing and squealing and screaming. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

“woh jo teen shabd hai, woh is feeling se bohut chote hai. aur yeh jo feelings hai woh bohut bade hai, aur sirf teen shabd mein is saare feelings ko capture karna…. feelings ke saath nainsaafi hogi.”

billlllu yaaaaaaaar, bas bhi kar, mere naazuk dil se aur saha nahi jaata! *weeeping* 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“kuch aur ho na ho…. tumne mujhe ishqbaaz zaroor bana diya.” 

hate to be that person, BUT SHE TOLD YOU SO! SHE TOLD YOU THAT YOU’D SAY IT! MWAHAHAHA! 

ok after that EPIC scene, i reallllllly don’t care about rudra’s romantic nonsense. 😒😒😒

i really can’t believe that this 4 years older nonsense is what they’re focusing on as the “conflict” in their relationship. instead of rudra’s patriarchal mentality, and bhavya’s emotional numbness and insecurities. like… there’s literally so many other issues. but no, go with the most stupid, cliched one. fuck this coupling. 😤😤😤

oh no bulbul, why the sad and dramatic bangle removal?????? 😟😟😟

oh shit, om is back. please god, don’t let this get worse than it is. my heart can’t bear it. 😥😥😥

ok good, he looks stricken at the sight of her sadness. 😶😶😶

and gooooood, she just left. abhi filhaal kehne-sunne ke liye kuch bhi nahi hai. 😔😔😔

girl, stop thinking about HIS izzat. 😑😑😑

oh my baby bulbullllllll. *hugs her tight* you’re so good and pure and you deserve to be so happy. 😭😭😭😭😭

oufffff, either get a move on with this tejViLana plotline, or just fuck offf with it. so manyyyy other issues to focus/resolve and phirrrr se time waste on wohi svetlana ki dhamki type scenes. 😒😒😒

lmao her disdainnnnn when she said “personal life” hahahahahahaha 😂😂😂

everyone’s got theirrrrr eyes on pinkyyyyyy and her fuckery now. good! 👀👀👀

shaktiji is finally becoming active and taking charge round here. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

siiiiiiiigh. this fight is just exhausting meeeee. coz iska resolution toh kuch hona nahi hai. awaiii ki negativity, killing my buzz. 😣😣😣

oh pinkyyyyyyy. 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

lmao svetlana’s boredom!max face. she is me and i am her. 😆😆😆

she’s like ok fuck this i’m out. 👋🏽👋🏽👋🏽

OMFG SVETLANA MURDERING A TOMATO, WHILE SINGING MAAR DIYA JAAYE YA CHOD DIYA JAAYE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

lmaoooooo the sign language. esp. when jhanvi is like “why don’t you just take the damn thing offf?????” these two are so married. 😂😂😂

they shouldn’t have showed us that jhanvi has a dummy by her. that would have been a good surprise reveal for monday/later. 😕😕😕

can’t believe svetlana got a fancier car than shivaay. 😒😒😒

ohhhhhhhhh boyyyy. GIRL FIGHT. jhanvi about to kick some assssssssssss. 😟😟😟

svetlana be like FINALLY. THIS BITCH CAUGHT UP. 🙄🙄🙄

what sultry looks. they should make out. 😚😚😚😚 #foreverCaptainOfSvetViShip

OH GOD, PINKY BOUGHT SUNDARI BUA. WHY? 😫😫😫😫

AND WHY IS SHIVAAY SAVING SUNDARI BUA? SHE’S THE FUCKING WORST. COME THE FUCK ON, SHIVAAY! 😣😣😣

OOOOOOH WAIT. HE WAS JUST BUTTERING HER UP FOR THE REAL DEAL. GOOD GOING SHIVAAY! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[jiminelli]

Not Alone

Request: Oh what about a Jhope scenario when he meets a girl who is cheerful but then she got a secret: she was a victim of bullying and things got too much for her and stress and pressure at school. When he was reading her diary, he knows that he will be the hero. Inspired by A Supplementary Story: You Never Walk Alone (maybe)? Thanks! BTW, You Don't Know Me made me cry a million pieces! ~Queennie

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 2.299

Warnings: mentions of death and self-harm

A/N: this has been in my inbox forever but somehow i needed to write this tonight bc it’s been ages since i wrote about hobi!!! 

I didn’t proof read yet your gurl is too tired for that

ALSO I WANNA THANK YOU GUYS FOR ENJOYING MY WRITINGS SO MUCH AND HELPING ME IMPROVE THANKS TO Y’ALL I SLAYED MY FREAKING WRITING SKILLS MIDTERM AND DONT HAVE TO TAKE THE FINAL EXAM WOOP IM SO HAPPY

“Catch me if you can”, you giggled, turning around and sprinting away from your boyfriend, almost tripping over your own feet as the hill gently curved downwards. Your bare feet ran over the soft grass, head turning every few seconds, laughing at his figure behind you, trying to catch up with your own. Breath hitching in your throat, lungs and heart thumbing in your chest, your laughs echoed through the park before you felt his warm hands wrap around your waist, pulling you down with his falling body. A small scream escaped your lips, followed by laughs as you landed on the ground, his hands catching your fall

“Gotcha”, Hoseok whispered before placing his soft lips on yours, smiling into the kiss. You gently hit his chest, making him grin at you and raise his eyebrows.

“You cheated! You said you’d wait 5 seconds before coming after me!”, you pouted and poked his chest, making him laugh.

“Babe, that’s what I did. You’re just too slow”, he wiggled his eyebrows at you before kissing the tip of your nose and stroking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Pfh yeah that’s what they all say...”, you whispered more to yourself but Hoseok seemed to have heard what you said, rolling off you and bursting into laughter, bringing you close to his chest. You felt his chest vibrate against your again, forming a content smile on your face before stroking his back softly with your hands. 

“I love you (Y/N)”, Hoseok laughed, sitting up and pulling you up with him, as you started picking the grass out of your hair. 

Throwing the bit you had in your hands at him, you grinned. “I know you idiot. I love you, too.”

His smile made butterflies erupt in your stomach and he pouted his lips at you in an attempt to appear cute, only making you laugh. “C’mon let’s go grab some ice cream, it’s too hot to be lying in the sun”, he suggested and stood up, shaking the grass off his pants before offering you his hand.

“Only if you let me pay this time”, you raised your eyebrows at him suggestively and he just grinned at you.

“We’ll see about that”, Hoseok answered as he kissed your temple, engulfing you in a tight hug before walking back to the spot you had left your shoes. He was ready to spent a nice evening with the girl that made his heart burst out of his chest, making him feel like the luckiest boy on Earth.

Hoseok felt his phone vibrate multiple times in his back pocket as he was trying to teach the boys the new choreography he had come up with for the upcoming comeback. He knew that it must be you needing something from him, otherwise you wouldn’t message him during practice, so he signaled the boys a two minute break and got his phone out of his pocket unlocking it in one swift move.

From: (Y/N)♕ ♥

hey

babe

baaaaaabe

babyyyyyyy  [delivered: 11:21am]

hobi

hoseok

jung hoseeeeeooookk [delivered: 11:22am]

He grinned at his phone, making the others look at him smugly.

“Hyung, is it (Y/N) you’re texting?”, Jungkook came up from behind, grinning at him, wiggling his eyebrows at his phone.

“Who else would it be smartass?”, Yoongi jawned from the back of the room, shooting Hoseok a knowing look.

“Why don’t you ever bring her over hyung?”, Taehyung whined, ploppling down next to Hoseok.

“Yeah we’d love to meet the girl that makes our cruel dance teacher stop just to answer her messages”, Jimin laughed and went through his hair with one hand before sipping on his water bottle and throwing it over to Taehyung, who caught it smoothly.

“Guys, stop. We just started going out, I can’t bring her over already. You’ll scare her away”, he rolled his eyes at his band mates but smiling softly at the thought of all of you together. They’d love you, he knew it. You were so cheerful and full of happiness, they couldn’t just not like you. 

“We won’t scare her away, what are you talking about! We’re lovable”, Taehyung exclaimed, pushing Jungkook away who was trying to grab the water bottle from his hyung. 

Hoseok huffed and turned to his phone. He heard the others rambling around but his thoughts were with you as he typed his response.

To: (Y/N) ♕ ♥

what’s up baby? :)

Read: 11:28am

Seconds later his phone signaled him your incoming reply.

From: (Y/N) ♕ ♥

i know you’re busy rn but when you have time can you please go to my apartment and check if you see my sketchbook there? it should be somewhere in my bedroom but i forgot it there this morning

i have work until 1 today but class starts at 1:15 so i dont have time to look for it myself.....

you dont have to if you dont have time though!!

His face lit up at your last message. Of course, he’d do that for you. He’d do anything for you, even though he wouldn’t admit that to himself. He’d never admit that he had fallen for you since the day he met you, serving him in the restaurant you worked at. Only two months had passed since then but he felt like he could never let you go again. His heart had wrapped itself around you and wouldn’t be able to let go that easily.

To: (Y/N) ♕ ♥

i’ll be there in 10

As he texted his reply, he got up, stretching one last time before throwing his phone into his bag and started moving towards the door. 

“We’l continue practice later guys. I gotta go”, he waved one quick goodbye before opening the door and stepping into the hall.

“Hoseok got a booty call!”, Jungkook chanted from the inside, everybody else joining in with laughter as Hoseok rolled his eyes at his friends and kept moving. 

He didn’t need a booty call to be by your side. 

Stepping into your bedroom, he let his bag fall onto the ground and started looking around. You had described your sketchbook as a little black booklet but nothing specific on it. So that was what he started looking for. First, he went straight to your desk as one would assume that a sketchbook would be placed there; in the working area of the room. With no results. So he turned around and let his gaze glide over the room, eyes falling onto your bedside table.

Maybe you were one of those who could draw and write the best before going to sleep.

Not thinking much of it, he stepped closer to the drawer, pulling the upper drawer open and - there it was! A black booklet lying on top of blank paper. 

Jackpot. That should be it.  

Hoseok grabbed the little notebook and sat down on your bed, closing the drawer again. Looking at the thing in his hands, he scratched his head.

Should I take a look? Hoseok thought, biting down on his lips.

She’s never shown me any of her drawings... 

“She probably wouldn’t mind, her class sees it too so one more person surely won’t bother her”, with that he opened the booklet, not faced with drawings but text. 

Texts with dates.

Smeared texts with dates.

Hoseok’s eyes went wide but stayed glued to the pages. Endless pages with a small handwriting, smeared at some spots and hastily written in other parts. 

“I wasn’t good enough.... they laughed at me again.... I can’t handle this any longer”

“What the...”, he whispered, opening a random page carefully. His fingers gently stroke over the paper before he started reading.

“Two weeks until school is done. I should be happy. Everybody’s excited for prom, going shopping and preparing for one of the most important days of their lives. Except for me. You know why? You probably already know.... everybody knows. Nobody asked me to be their date. Again. Not even one of the nerds. They’re all ashamed to be seen with me. I’m too gross for them. Too fat. Too ugly. Too dumb. Too shy. Too weird. Too-everything. They know I hurt myself, too. One of the kids at school grabbed me and pushed me against the lockers, accidentally making my sleeves roll up and then they saw. One would think that they’d realize it’s their fault and be shocked or feel guilty or something like that. But you know what they did? They laughed even more. Calling me pathetic. Attention whore. Liar. Stupid. Weak. Encouraging me to cut deeper. One of them said, and I quote “Here, have my razor maybe that one works better. Try it out in the bathtub, that way your parents won’t have to clean up that much of a mess when you finally bleed to death” and everybody laughed. Maybe that’s what I should do. Instead of just hurting myself, just completely disappear. Everyone hates me anyway. I can’t make anyone happy. My teacher scold me every day for not paying attention, my parents are sick of me spending their money, sick of me being their child, I don’t have any friends anymore and basically the whole school wants to see me dead. So why not do it? Why not just cut right through my veins and let all the blood run out?”  

Hoseok felt hot droplets of tears wetting his shirt and pants as sobs erupted through his body. Was this the same (Y/N) he knew today? This couldn’t be the same girl. His girl was cheerful, gloomy and always laughing, making everybody around her happy. How was it possible that she ever felt like this? Thought these horrible things about herself? That she had to go through hell when she was a literal angel?

His breath got caught in his throat as his sobs started to break out more hysterically and coughs shook his whole body.

He had to do something. You needed to know how he felt for you, how he needed you in his life and how you should never have those thoughts again. Never ever. Not as long as he was by your side.

“Hobi?”, you called out into your lighted apartment, softly taking off your shoes in the entrance and looking around. Stepping into your small space, you saw that the light in your bedroom was on, so you slowly walked towards the door.

Pushing it open and peeking inside, you saw Hoseok standing in front of your bed, facing the other way with his hands in his pockets and a small box placed on your bed.

“Hobi, what are you doing here?”, you smiled and entered, making him turn around, smiling at you sadly.

“(Y/N)”, he breathed out and immediately wrapped his arms around your small frame, hugging you tighter than you had ever felt him do before.

“What’s wrong baby?”, you mumbled into his chest, as he was still holding onto you, not seeming to let you go any time soon. Saying you were confused, would be an understatement.

“I prepared something for you”, Hoseok smiled and finally let go, moving you to your bed and signaling to the box.

“What is this for?”, you turned around, raising an eyebrow at your boyfriend. Something was fishy about that situation and you wanted to know what was going on. 

Hoseok scratched his neck in embarrassment and dropped his gaze. Stepping closer, you caressed his arm and smiled softly. 

“C’mon, you can tell me”, you tried to encourage him.

He closed his eyes for a second and then his strong gaze met your irritated one. “I read your diary.”

You still didn’t understand and waited for him to continue. When he didn’t say anything else, you asked: “And?”

He took a deep breath and exhaled again. “The entries from your high school times.”

“Oh”, was all you could say before a sad smile spread across your face, eyes blinking fast, trying to avoid the tears to fall out at the memories those words brought back.

“I-I prepared this for you (Y/N), so you know that you don’t ever have to feel like that again. I know that I can’t heal you from those thoughts completely but maybe it helps a little bit?”, he started rushing around the room, handing you the box quickly and opening it for you. Inside you saw multiple notes stacked on top of each other.

“What is this Hoseok?”, you whispered and took one in between you fingers.

“These are reasons why I fell for you. Things I love about you. Things you do that make me smile. Things that make you who you are and more lovable each day we spent together. Basically all ju-”, you cut him off by placing the box on the bed and grabbing his face in between your hands, pressing your lips onto his. Taking Hoseok off guard, it took him a few seconds to realize what was going on before his hands moved to your hips, bringing you closer to him.

As you two parted, he leaned his forehead against yours. “You’re the reason for m smile (Y/N), every day. You can always count on me, no matter what is going on, okay? If you’re not happy, I’m not happy. You make my heart feel warm and my whole body heat up just by glancing at me. You’re not alone, no matter how stony and long this road might be, I’ll be by your side. Always.”

Tears were rolling down your cheeks at his sweet gesture and he started kissing your cheeks, trying to kiss your tears away. Giggling, you slightly pushed him away to look into his eyes and caress his cheek.

“I love you Jung Hoseok”

“I love you more (Y/L/N) (Y/N)”

©jiminelli

[ashesfade-a-blog]

Here is a random headcanon dump from Dayne’s old blog; @fadedrosepetals.

                • Dayne pretty much never wears shoes while at Skyhold. She enjoys being barefoot and since it would be considered improper for her to do so outside of the walls, she takes advantage of it by doing it literally anytime that she can. Josephine and Blackwall often tell her that she needs to wear something on her feet because of the colder temperatures but Dayne brushes them off as if they were nothing and continues to do so happily, even if it does cause her to fall ill from time to time.

                • She spends most of her time in the garden, hiding amongst the bushes of flowers. She tends to have her nose buried in a book or into her own journal while there is normally a spread of sweet snacks laid out on a small piece of frilly fabric, as if she were having her own private picnic. She enjoys the gardens and the flowers because it is full of pretty things and most of the time people are happy while visiting the gardens. And she is a big fan of happy things. Like FLOWER CROWNS that she makes for the Inquisition, flowers chosen specifically on each individual’s personalities.

                • Dayne will often ask Iron Bull for piggy back rides and he gladly allows it every single time. While she is getting the piggy back ride, she almost always is tying flowers around his horns and he always pretends he doesn’t notice.

                • Her relationship with Cole is one of the most important ones that she has (and it’s probably one of my favorites). Imagine all of these beautiful things for a moment. Dayne and Cole would whisper kind thoughts about their companions into each other’s ears. Everyone around them would simply think that they are up to no good when in reality they are just being kind. She speaks to Cole the most often. The two platonically hold hands and cuddle while taking naps together. Dayne appreciates Cole’s ability to see through any sort of mask she might be wearing without her having to express her feelings with words. He brings a special kind of comfort one could only find in a friend that knows you inside and out.

                • Her relationship with Dorian is another one of my favorites because he is basically the kind of brother she wished her brother actually was. He is kind to her and instead of criticizing her every move, he is understanding and encouraging. When she feels sad, he is who she goes to for comfort with tear stained cheeks and reddened eyes because he doesn’t make her feel foolish for having a soft heart in a cruel world.  

                 • Leliana and Dayne spend a lot of time together talking about Orlais. Josie would join them and they discuss pretty dresses, balls, fashion, boys and anything under the sun. They often slip into speaking Orlesian when they want to discuss something private and it almost always happens when Cullen is around. Dayne would keep an eye out for pretty things that remind her of them and will often surprise them with gifts, denying they were from her. #girlgang tbh

               • Her relationship with Blackwall is very father/daughter like. She goes to him with her problems because she knows he will see reason and will help her understand all possible outcomes. He watches out for her like a hawk, specifically with Commander Cullen.  

                • In the aspect of her canon story and marrying Cullen, Blackwall would give her away. Cole would be the ring bearer. Leliana and Josephine would be bridesmaids and Dorian would stand as her man of honor, right at her side.  

                • Dayne, unlike the typical inquisitor, was not trained in battle and actually had no skill at all for protecting herself, let alone all of Thedas. Since she was thrown into the role, needing the ability to fight, she approaches Cassandra to teach her how to yield a sword and a shield. Cassandra would not go easy on her. Cullen would watch from a distance, wincing / holding his breath / hoping she doesn’t get hurt and Dayne would be giggling most of the time.  

                • Music is something she thoroughly enjoys and will often visit the taverns so that she can hear the minstrels sing their songs. Dayne has no problem with getting up and dancing, even when looks are disapproving. She will shed her shoes and twirl and twirl.  

                •  She doesn’t understand why she has to be decked out in armor all of the time. It was never a necessity before she became inquisitor and the transition has been difficult for her. She would much rather wear pretty dresses. Dayne would have saved up her money to commission an armored dress with engraved floral designs and hidden lace so that she could still wear pretty things while also being protected.  

                • Upon arriving at Skyhold, while everyone else was mortified by the state that it was in, Dayne felt nothing but excitement because it meant she could have this huge decor project. Before anyone could explain to her that the aesthetic of Skyhold needed to convey the Inquisition’s message, Dayne had thrown up lace curtains and white throw rugs with lots of pink hued decor items throughout all of Skyhold. Cullen is the one to break the news to her that the decor must change because Josie and Leliana don’t want to hurt her feelings. Dayne is more than happy to change everything because it means all of the decor she has can be used in her chambers (and some likely ends up in Leliana’s, Josephine’s and Cullen’s as well.)  

                • Platonic affection is extremely important to her. She showers everyone in cheek kisses, forehead kisses, nose kisses, hand holding, cuddles and all of the hugs in the world.  

                • Because of her lack of experience in the ways of war, Dayne suffers from severe anxiety. She can go from being the happiest girl in all of Thedas to panic attacks leaving her breathless and in tears within moments. When she has an attack, she will lock herself away in her chambers for hours refusing to let anyone inside. I imagine Cullen sitting outside of her door so that he can be the first that is there for her when she comes out. Dorian, Leliana and Josephine would tear down anyone who said that because of this, she was unfit to lead them. Cole would say comforting words without making her feel stupid and Blackwall would simply kiss the top of her head and offer her a hand to hold. But she would come out of the room looking as though nothing had happened, refusing to acknowledge that it ever happened because that is not who she is or who she wants to be.

                • She leaves kind notes for her companions to randomly find throughout all of Skyhold. There are probably encouraging words, compliments and uplifting phrases strewn on the neatly folded paper in girlish handwriting. // I like to believe that before the battle with Corypheus, she writes goodbye letters to all of the companions and hides them just as she would her other notes for them to find someday after she’s gone because she knows she won’t make it out of there alive. But she does and she forgets about the letters, laughing it off when Josie and Leliana get upset with her for even thinking such a thing could happen. Explaining to Cole how she felt like that would be it for her and that she wanted him to know that it was okay. Having to have a sit down with Blackwall so that he could explain that he understands why she felt the need to write it. But her finding Cullen in tears, clutching onto the piece of paper with clenched fists – feeling horrible for even the thought of him having to go through it.  

                • Dayne is a lover of all animals and will always stop to pet something if there is a chance that she can. I imagine her keeping little treats in her armor to give out to the animals she finds.

                 Dayne is a very down to EarthThedas sort of individual. She enjoys the simple things in life. In her down time she spends her time listening to music which always results in long winded solo dance sessions because she rarely can convince anyone to join her or she is alone in her chambers. She is also a pretty big book worm. I touched on this a little bit on my previous headcanon dump post earlier. She tends to have at least one book on her persons at any given time. Her favorite kind of books are love stories, but not the kind that Cassandra is into. She likes her knights in shining armor protecting said damsel in distress. Dayne is also a huge napper. She really loves her soft bed and will spend a ridiculous amount of time just laying there. I think she probably has difficulties getting out of bed in the mornings. And last but not least, horseback riding. It gives her the opportunity to do something that was a huge part of her life before the Inquisition. It helps her forget, even for just a little while, the weight that is on her shoulders.

                 Dayne is a devout Andrastian and has been her entire life. She studies the stories of Andraste and The Maker religiously (pun intended). She has never once doubted in a higher power and the holy writings. When she is given the title ‘Herald of Andraste’, she struggles with it and never truly doesn’t. She does not believe that she was some chosen holy entity and instead believes she is just a girl who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. In the beginning, she gets a little angry and upset when people refer to her by that name but as time goes on she tells herself that it is just something that people need to believe and so she allows it without every really believing it herself.

                 In all honesty, Dayne’s biggest regret was accepting her invitation to the conclave on behalf of her parents. Initially, she had been so excited to take part in such a historical event but it ultimately altered her life and forced her to forget any type of normal future she had hoped for. Dayne really wanted to be courted just as a noble woman would have been. She’d wanted to find a proper husband who would care for her and provide for her and love her and give her the children she’d always dreamed of. She wanted a modest estate with a large garden and a library full of books for her to bury herself in. Going to the conclave was what changed it all.

                Despite having no real ties to either the templar side or the mage side before the Inquisition, she has always felt sympathetic towards the mages. Dayne is all about giving chances (multiple chances if we’re being honest) and the fact that mages aren’t even given a chance before they are tossed into the Circle breaks her heart. She understands why there was severe action taken and in her canon, places leliana as the divine and disbands the circle.

                 Solas and Vivienne are background noise to Dayne, which sounds absolutely terrible but the bottom line is that they are probably two of the most judgmental characters we see throughout the game and that is just a no go for precious little Dayne. She is cordial with the both of them but will literally walk away in the middle of a conversation when it starts to turn rude or “I’m better than so and so”.

                 As I stated in a previous headcanon, baths are one of Dayne’s favorite things. She likes to take extremely warm baths so that it takes a little longer for the water to cool just so she can lengthen her time spent in there. She is very into sweet smelling things and brings in special soaps from Orlais along with flower petals to soak in. She sings while she is bathing and sometimes ends up falling asleep in there. When she gets out of the tub, she likes to air dry in the sun rays that come in through the windows at Skyhold. She likes to watch the light reflect off of the water droplets because they remind her of glitter and prettier things.

                 She was a lady, living up to the stereotype of a fair maiden. She enjoyed her moments alone and the quiet life she had in her family’s estate in Ostwick. With the comfort of never having to worry much about not having enough, she was raised to be proper and suitable for a nobleman or someone of higher rank. Dayne was a carefree bookworm and lover of all living things. She would spend a lot of time in the stables with the horses and is/was the type of person who would stop and pet any creature that would allow her to. Soft-spoken, intelligent and extremely feminine. She wanted to please her family and hoped for a life similar to the one she had been already living with whomever her future husband might be. She enjoyed going to balls, flirting with suitable men and frilly, girly things.

[sky-bluepinksunset]

Aesthetic asks 🔥🔥

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself? Today on the way here! I sing literally 24/7 when I’m drivingfairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? I’d want to know if I’m going down the right path and it’s all worth it, and I’d want to know how to fix it to accomplish my goals.daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?Honestly it’s been super recent with getting on a good path to being heathy! I’m not nearly there, but it’s been a lot of back and forth, so it’s a good feeling.1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?Parkway with Nicole was goodmatte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?Yeah, I’d change everything and travel. Before I die, I want to see the world and leave some sort of lasting legacy like a charity or something, even if it only helps one person, you know?black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?Northern Lights Get my doctoratemoodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?Yeah! Definitely complicated and everything but I was happy stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?Ah the other night plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.You! You'd appreciate it the most and we could plot and everything and it'd be a good memory converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?It depends if I knew if I'd ever see them again lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?You tonight lmaooohandwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?I'd tell Cameron that I love him and I'm proud of himcactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?THE BEST lit marry me if u have brown eyes sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.The quote in my instagram bio is "The Stars would be proud to know they made someone like you" and it just means a lot to me because some days, you need a reason to keep going strong and it can be smth like the universe or ur dog oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?Something super sarcastic overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?Travel and starting a shelter! combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?Yeah, I am! It can be a big weakness lmao winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.You've been through a lot up to this point, but things are on the rise for you, and moving schools this last time is going to be the best thing for you to thrive right now. Stick by your gut feeling for the friends that are going to stay with you and band, they're going to show you different things that make everything you've dealt with so far seem insignificant. Coming from your 17 year old self, it does get better and there is a reason that you're alive right now. You're going to make a difference. pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?I 1000000000% would LOVE to say punk but definitely pastel tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.I love them! The body art like that can make each person unique and able to tell their own story through different drawings and innings or piercings piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?I don't! It makes me break out and I'm trying to fix that lmao bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.I listened to a lot of indie music when I was younger, and it had this certain effect on me that made me feel better about the world's outlook messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.You can't let things go by you unnoticed- The earth is dying and people are being murdered by oppression, and it's getting worse every single second. cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. Mary Lambert! I literally sobbed when she came on stage because 14 year old me seeing a proud, beautiful, queer woman on stage made me feel AMAZING about myself grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?My grandpa. I'd want it to say if he was here, he wouldn't hate me or disown me for being gay or supporting the things that I do, which is highly unlikely space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?A desk! It is not at all white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?I come home from work usually, shower, and then get in bed and watch tv shows or YouTube and text until I go to bed lmao old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?I don't want them to know that I blame them for a lot of shit, and I believe that they put themselves and their pride above their kid's wellbeing. beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?My old long, curly hair and silver af eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?YouNicoleSaulDrakeCaitlin11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.End up happy and content with my life choicesNo regrets Bravery painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.Probably doing the B99 cast lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?When I was high, I got a flat tire and a police officer came and attempted to help Karly and I fix it and it was HORRIBLE because I'm sitting there with a knife in my hand, all because it's a horrible part of town, and I'm not legal to have one. I can also barely stand SO it was an experience thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?Murder storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?They both sound like torture and unhealthy, but I'd probably pick a song because it's definitely easier to cope with love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love. I think realizing it is the most intense feeling because you're just overwhelmed by the pure amazement of this person, and it almost feels like you are floating clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?Lol my hair is THE BEST coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? Normally an iced caramel macchiato and definitely Nicole marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?Getting through to get to college

[mortalkombat4]

hello this is a cute little highschool!AU for otayuri it’s my second fic ever don’t judge me anyways this was supposed to be a funny little crack fic based on some starter but here we are with 3486 words and a whole lot of regret

“prom?”

Yuri gasped, looking up from the ring at Otabek, who was eyeing him nervously, and nodding furiously. It was a perfect promposal. Not to over-the-top or public, but something simple and beautiful and quiet…just like Yuri’s new prom date. Otabek smiled widely, a rare gift from him, and plucked the ring out of Yuri’s fingers, sliding it back onto his hand. “I’m glad. You can call me Beka, by the way…if you want to…or whatever.” Yuri smiled widely. “Call me Yura.”

[wellimhavinga3outof10day]

All right, so @thislifeisawasteland tagged me to answer a bunch of questions that are actually an ask meme, but w/e. (There are kind of Riverdale spoilers in this post? I’m bitter, sue me.) Here we go:

Full name: I’m not really gonna tell you that, so settle for Jessica

Zodiac sign: Taurus

3 Fears: Death, spiders... that I’ll never fall in love?

3 things I love: Chocolate, green tea, & my laptop

4 turns ons: Humour, kindness, bad pick-up lines, goofy smiles

4 turns offs: Racism, homophobia, an annoying voice, a terrible smell in general?

My best friend: Like all of them

Sexual orientation: Bi

My best first date: I’ve only had one first date, so walking around the mall

How tall am I: 5'8"

What do I miss: My friends, knowing Jughead was safe and happy smh

What time was I born: 9:04 a.m.

Favourite colour: Red

Do I have a crush: Not unless we’re counting fictional characters

Favourite quote: *gross sobbing* “It’s like my home.” Nah, I’m kidding, I don’t really have a fave quote

Favourite place: My library

Favourite food: Chocolate

Do I use sarcasm: No, never...

What am I listening to right now: "Leave” by Jojo (lmao, idk why)

First thing I notice in new person: Their hair, tbh

Shoe size: 6 1/2 (yes, I have tiny fucking feet)

Eye colour: Blue

Hair colour: Brown/blonde

Favourite style of clothing: Casual, comfy

Ever done a prank call? Yes and omg worst experience of my life, almost had a panic attack, never again

What colour of underwear I’m wearing now? Pink

Meaning behind my URL: It’s a line from White Collar

Favourite movie: He’s Just Not That Into You (it’s on Netflix now, I’m so excited!!), also Pretty in Pink

Favourite song: Atm, “Prom Queen” by Molly Kate Kestner

Favourite band: ??? idk man

How I feel right now: Pretty good

Someone I love: Jughead Jones (honestly, fight me)

My current relationship status: Single af

My relationship with my parents: It’s good

Favourite holiday: Christmas

Tattoos and piercings? My ears are pierced and I have no tattoos

Tattoos and piercing i want: I kinda want a sternum piercing, and a rose vine tattoo up my side

The reason I joined Tumblr: I was filling out my social media quota before I went to uni

Do I and my last ex hate each other? Well, I didn’t think so but then she made me answer all these questions, so? It’s up in the air ;)

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts? Nah, never (unless you count my mom checking to see if I’m awake when I’m home alone)

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Nope

When did I last hold hands? ...? Fairly recently probably, I hold my mom’s hand all the time.

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes, maybe?

Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? Nope

Where am I right now? At my desk

If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? N/A, never been that drunk

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Reasonable (pretty quiet actually if you ask other people)

Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Yup

Am I excited for anything? Jughead to be loved and cared for and warm and safe, for the love of god.

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? All right, well “can” and “would” are different words, so technically yes, but I wouldn’t?

How often do I wear a fake smile? Rarely

When was the last time I hugged someone? Last night?

What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? Eh, might bug me a little, but you go girl. (I mean, as long as it’s not an old man.)

Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? I don’t think so?

What is something I disliked about today? Today just started, buddy. Umm... for some reason my hands are really sweaty? I hate that?

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Atm, the cast of Riverdale, but that’ll change in like a month if not a day.

What do I think about most? Probably w/e I’m writing atm.

What’s my strangest talent? ...? I don’t have very minute talents, idk what to tell you. I’m very talented at drinking too much green tea and procrastinating things I actually want to do.

Do I have any strange phobias? Mustard

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind, probs.

What was the last lie I told? ...? I lie a lot, idk. I probs lied on here. Kidding, don’t think I have. Umm... I honeslty have no idea. It’s anyone’s guess.

Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Both are horrible and probably the worst forms of communication, but I’m gonna go with the phone b/c I have an unnecessary grudge against Skype.

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Maybe? and yes.

Do I believe in magic? Little magic, sure.

Do I believe in luck? To an extent.

What’s the weather like right now? Sunny, average temp

What was the last book I’ve read? I’m in the middle of Crooked Kingdom right now, but the last book I finished was I’ll Give You The Sun

Do I like the smell of gasoline? Yes

Do I have any nicknames? Yes: Jess, Jessie

What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I broke my wrist by getting knocked down a hill and landing on concrete.

Do I spend money or save it? Save it.

Can I touch my nose with a tongue? Nope

Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? Yeah, more things than I expected too, tbh.

Favourite animal? Pigs

What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Talking to Rachael on Tumblr/watching Misfits

What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Claus (yes, I know it said Satan not Santa, but it’s a conspiracy)

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? I Don’t Wanna Be Sad by Simple Plan

How can you win my heart? Be nice and funny and care about me (honestly giving a shit about me is really all I need, my standards are fucking low as shit)

What would I want to be written on my tombstone? Idk but something kind of weird and maybe a quote I like?

What is my favourite word: Feral

My top 5 blogs on tumblr: Ugh, I don’t want to do this.

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? “I love you, take care of yourselves.”

Do I have any relatives in jail? I don’t think so...

I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Flight

What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Umm... lots of things, I’m sure.

What is my current desktop picture? It’s a city that Natasha made for a class and it’s super pretty and green.

Had sex? Nope

Bought condoms? Yes, actually

Gotten pregnant? Nope

Failed a class? Nope

Kissed a boy? Nope

Kissed a girl? Yup

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Nope

Had a job? Yes

Left the house without my wallet? All the time

Bullied someone on the internet? I don’t think so, I hope not

Had sex in public? Nope

Played on a sports team? Yes

Smoked weed? No

Did drugs? No

Smoked cigarettes? No

Drank alcohol? Yes

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? No

Been overweight? No

Been underweight? No

Been to a wedding? Yes

Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Yes

Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yes

Been outside my home country? Yes

Gotten my heart broken? Eh, probably not

Been to a professional sports game? Yes

Broken a bone? Yes

Cut myself? No

Been to prom? Graduation in Canada, but yes

Been in airplane? Yes

Fly by helicopter? No

What concerts have I been to? So I went to like three in a row a few years ago: One Direction, Marianas Trench and... shit, I thought there were three... it might have been two... oh! Shawn Mendes! (And I’m listening to him right now and I forgot that, lmao)

Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Yes

Learned another language? Kinda

Wore make up? Nope

Lost my virginity before I was 18? Nope

Had oral sex? Nope

Dyed my hair? Yes

Voted in a presidential election? Federal election yes, I’m Canadian

Rode in an ambulance? Nope

Had a surgery? Nope

Met someone famous? Nope

Stalked someone on a social network? I don’t think so

Peed outside? Nope

Been fishing? I have.

Helped with charity? Nope

Been rejected by a crush? Yes

Broken a mirror? Nope

What do I want for my birthday? *laughs* Umm... not a clue. 

How many kids do I want and what will be their names? 4: Marcia, Whit, Eli, & Beth

Was I named after anyone? My middle name is my Oma’s middle name too, but my first name’s not from anywhere

Do I like my handwriting? I used to b/c it was literally flawless when I was younger, but now it’s like a mess, so no.

What was my favourite toy as a child? Should I even remember this? Barbies, probably.

Favourite Tv Show? Atm, Riverdale

Where do I want to live when older? Not a clue. Probably Toronto or Vancouver? Maybe somewhere in Europe. Who knows?

Play any musical instrument? I used to play guitar but I probably can’t remember any of it.

One of my scars, how did I get it? Idk if I have any scars, man. There’s like kind of a scar by my elbow? But how I got it is a mystery.

Favourite pizza toping? Green peppers

Am I afraid of the dark? Nope

Am I afraid of heights? Nope

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? No, I don’t think so. (I once was caught squirting water in a guy’s face? But he kind of deserved it.)

Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? I don’t think so...?

What I’m really bad at: Figuring out my life

What my greatest achievements are: I once predicted the end of a book, does that count? And my highest post here is almost at five thousand notes?

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: "I love you, but sometimes I just don’t like you.” (Honestly, I deserved it, but it was savage af.)

What I’d do if I won in a lottery: Buy a house, buy a lot of fandom merch, invest a bunch... 

What do I like about myself: I’m pretty laidback, I know what I want for the most part, and I try to be a good person.

My closest Tumblr friend: Not this again.

Something I fantasise about my ex: (lmao my first instinct was to put “dying” and that’s not true, my babe, I’m sorry) Honestly? Just having sex, like nothing fancy.

[winewomenwit]

five times kissed (i spent literally like an hour on yours its your turn)

send me five times kissed for a drabble about five times our muses kissed

one.It’s been a week since he asked for permission to kiss her--a week, and centuries upon centuries since the last time he’d asked at all--but she treats him differently now.

Or, rather, she treated him just like she had before, but she did so more frequently now.

Every word he says is a come on or a challenge, every fleeting touch, even the accidental ones, some conniving design on his part to open her back up to him. And it’s exhausting, even for the blink of an eye that is a week, to try living up to her expectations. To be lavish and loud and louche and lush, equal parts teasing and flirtatious, friend and potential lover.

It’s the suspicion that hurts him the most. He doesn’t show it, he’s lived through enough lifetimes to learn how to mask that kind of hurt, but when she narrows her eyes at the gift he produces--what’s this for?--the facade finally cracks.

Nothing. A kiss to the forehead. He won’t give her time to call him back. He needs to think.

It’s a copy of Hamilton. She had seemed genuinely interested in it.Maybe her interests are not all they seem.

two.It’s not surprising to see that Dio can throw a good party. It’s not surprising to find the crowd of dancing, laughing, celebrating mortals, his hangers-on, the brief little lights he calls his friends. They’re all beautiful. Iris watches as their auras flair different colors, all bright and stunning, fireworks in human form, always touching on some shade of purple.She wonders if Dio can see that, too.

He’s standing in the middle of three of them, all girls. One pulses a calm blue, tinted at the darkest end of the pulse with just the tiniest hint of royal purple; one shines a bright, energetic green, violet at the tips; the one closest to Dio (the one Iris tries the hardest not to see, grinding up against his rear) is a deep, steady glow of purple, faintly too red to be only purple.Iris thinks about leaving. That’s when his eyes meet hers, and with a laugh and a glance back at Reddish, he disentangles himself from the group. Green whines. Blue takes her arm and calms her down. Reddish catches sight of Iris, and smiles in a way that echoes the mischief the goddess has seen a thousand times before in Dio, and shoos him away. “We don’t have time for your shit, Theoinos! Go get you act together!”

“Consider yourself on my shit list, Junebug.”

More laughter. He’s well-liked here.How radically different from Olympus.No wonder he prefers it here, prefers them to anyone he’s known among his kind. It’s easy to stay somewhere you’re loved.

I don’t mean to interrupt, she tells him, immediately apologetic. I have a letter for you.

I know, he replies, and his laughing eyes are loud enough to actually compete with the blaring music. I’m the one that sent it.

And no, she wants to say, that’s impossible, I would know if you did, but none of it comes out because when she glances down at the envelope, that’s his handwriting. Now she feels stupid. Like he’s teasing her all over again, making her run stupid errands to prove a point, but his hand wraps around hers and crumples and the letter and pulls her in and this time when he kisses her, he doesn’t ask for permission.

She only remembers to blush when she hears the cat-calls. In spite of herself she runs away, streaking the night sky like a fallen star.

Why does he do these things?

three.It’s only awkward, she tells herself, because she almost got him killed. But that’s not the only reason it’s awkward. There a hundred more. It’s awkward because he and Hera are as they are and her loyalties are too split between them. It’s awkward because Hera’s rage forced her to watch more closely as the son of Zeus grew older, because she knows his tragedies as well as his triumphs, because his victory was her Queen’s defeat. It’s awkward because she had seen him deeply and fearlessly in love before, and lost to heartache, and she knows what both look like on him and neither look is present now.

It’s awkward because they can’t seem to ever fully commit.

It’s awkward because he’s in her home and speaking to her sisters, and even with the aid of a translator, they seem to understand each other perfectly. It’s the language of predators and revenge, a language she’s never spoken.He mentions the Erinyes. Her sisters nod in agreement. He laughs and turns and leaves, stopping next to Iris with a hand gingerly touching her waist.

Your sisters are good chicks. They just need a little more room to spread their wings. He kisses her temple then, just a peck, and Iris watches in consternation as her sisters’ feathers visibly ruffle.

He doesn’t actually know everything.

four.It’s different here than it is on earth. Dio sits at the long table, visibly distanced and disengaged from the conversation, idly passing a drachma between his fingers. There is a noticeable space around him, wider gaps between his seat and the seats of the two gods closest to him, gaps which do not exist elsewhere on the table.This is what he means when he says he hates family gatherings. For a social god, a god of essential connection and intimacy, the mandates of closeness, he is quiet and reserved and utterly isolate here.

It’s only a response to the way he is already treated.

He stopped fighting ages ago.

Dite presses her lips together every time she glances over at him from across the table. She should have sat next to him. She should have twined her arms through his and reminded these others that come what may, he is her chosen brother, he is of her ilk, he stands not alone here. It was stupid to let Ares tempt her into sitting so near him instead. Her brother languishes and wilts in that peculiar way of his that turns him from flexible, giving silk to hard, squat steel.

And Iris, awed, spies on him from behind Queen Hera’s seat. Nobody pays attention to her anyway (so she thinks), and so at every turn when King Zeus speaks, her eyes are drawn back to him. She never noticed before how terribly lonely he looks at these occasions. Perhaps she was only too busy tending to her Queen to notice the quiet death in his eyes, the stillness of body--only the coin seems to move--that is so markedly unlike him.He is cold. He is withdrawn. This isn’t the Dio she knows.How did she never notice before?

She finds him after the meeting, hesitantly touches his arm to call his attention to her. Dio....He looks at her hand before he looks at her; this close, Iris can see as he visibly steels himself for another attack.

It shakes her to her core. He meets her eyes but doesn’t soften. The tears in her eyes aren’t for her.

She goes up on tip-toe and presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth before scurrying along, leaving quickly but not as quickly as she can, seeking out the Queen once more. She could always say anyone who saw that was mistaken, and she was only delivering a verbal message.

You should be softer with her, Dite chides, stepping out from the cover she’d taken when she saw the messenger. She likes you.

You don’t know what you’re talking about. She doesn’t know what she likes.

five.It’s so much better seeing him on earth now. Back among his mortals. Strange and fluid and laughing again. He takes one woman--she’s never purple, and tonight she’s a dull rose pink--by the arms and kisses her once on each cheek, pulling back with a “congratulations” and some joke the goddess can’t understand about marriage.

“You’re just as bad as he is!”

“I’m worse, even, I keep expecting you to say yes.” The woman laughs too loudly at that, shoving Dio lightly by the chest. She’s joined by a man who sets a proprietary arm around her waist but is too at ease around the god to see him as a threat. This man is purple, but not Dionysus’ purple. His color complements the woman’s.

“...leaving us to teach somewhere.”

“Then her students will be the luckiest damned sons of bitches in the world and you, cupcake--don’t give me that look!--you better give that talented ass of yours summers off, because I will not be deprived of your presence on my creative team.”

“I’ll think about it, Dio.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“I think you’ve got a guest,” the man interjects, and he’s looking right at Iris. It’s a fight to keep from going too deep a red at that; she snaps to attention but this time when Dio turns around, his expression is soft and only grows...softer, happier, when he sees her.

“Ah. If you’ll excuse me.”

Dio doesn’t say anything at first; he only slings an arm around her shoulder and guides her out of the fancy party, smiling and laughing and throwing quips to others in the room as he winds their way through them. When he gets her outside she shuts her eyes and her opens her mouth and begins a horrible apology, something she can’t hold back, something about know this is your territory and I shouldn’t be here and I don’t have a letter but it was urgent--

And she’s cut off by his kiss, again, something shocking enough to open her eyes and her mouth, and he doesn’t waste a second before deepening it, a hand on one side of her face, caution thrown to the wind.

I have an apartment, he whispers, moving from her lips to her neck despite the awkward angle. Nobody up there visits it. Not even Dite. Nobody knows it exists.

Come with me.

She knows she’ll only wake up in a tangle of clothes and bedsheets and limbs, but she isn’t sure she cares. Whatever is between them...it’s so very much like love. She remembers the reverence of their first kiss and thinks that love-making will be like with him, slow and sweet and reverent and passionate and real.And she makes a decision motivated by her own instincts for once, and not be worry or doubt or fear or decree.

Okay, she whispers, and she can tell by the flash of a moment in his wine-dark eyes that she thinking isn’t wrong.

[sunggyushines]

I was tagged by @infnthoya @flowrsoo and @leesungjongg​ :) Thank you wonderful ppl <333

RULES: Complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning. When you are finished tag people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!

1: ARE YOU NAMED AFTER SOMEONE?: Nope 2: WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: Today...bc my exam went horribly lol 3: DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?: Not at all 4: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?: I don’t eat meat? 5: DO YOU HAVE KIDS?: nope and i dont want them 6: IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?: no 7: DO YOU USE SARCASM?: yup :D 8: DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?: Yessss 9: WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?: NO im a scaredy cat 10: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF CEREAL?: I really disliked cereal as a child (and even now) but my favorite were cocoa puffs if i had to eat them 11: DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?: Nope 12: DO YOU THINK YOU’RE A STRONG PERSON?: No im literally the weakest person in all aspects 13: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?: Hmm good question...not sure if i have a favorite one per se, but i do have flavors that i avoid 14: WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?: what person they most resemble lol like i kid you not 95% of the time i see someone im like “you look familiar...” but other than that I guess their eyes. eyes are pretty 15: RED OR PINK?: redddddd 16: WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE PHYSICAL THING YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF?: Everythingggggg 17: WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING NOW?: Black pants with socks 18: WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?: Ravioli 19: WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?: Nothing :) 20: IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?: Teal/torquoise :D 21: FAVORITE SMELL?: i dont hvae a favorite smell but omg i just remembered this random smell i like; the smell of cold? like when you walk into those refrigerated sections in huge grocery stores where they hold milk and eggs and some vegetables sometimes like that /cold and ice/ smell wow 22: WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU SPOKE TO ON THE PHONE?: Idk? probably my mommy 23: FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?: idk i like to watch sports that ive played before? like soccer or fencing or volleyball 24: HAIR COLOR?: Dark brown but brown in the light i guess? 25: EYE COLOR?: Dark brown 26: DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?: Yesssss 27: FAVORITE FOOD TO EAT?: Cheese 28: SCARY MOVIES OR COMEDY?: Comedy 29: LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?: A bad dub of some jackie chan movie in my original language lolol (like you know those /badly dubbed/ channels on youtube and stuff for english? we have entire movies in my language hahaha but they do stick to some story line) 30: WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?: maroon 31: SUMMER OR WINTER?: summer 32: HUGS OR KISSES?: if i had to choose, then hugs 33: WHAT BOOK ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING?: i used to be the biggest bookworm as a kid but these days i can never get past the first page of a book 34: WHO DO YOU MISS RIGHT NOW?: Infinite lolol 35: WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?: I dont have one but a long time ago i had a doggy on mine :)  36: WHAT IS THE LAST TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED?: LOLOL i told myself to catch up with kim bok joo stuff so i watched an ep of that 37: WHAT IS THE BEST SOUND?: (Kim sunggyus music) 38: ROLLING STONES OR THE BEATLES?: idk but my middle school orchestra teachers LOOVed the beatles so i’ll say beatles for them 39: WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE EVER TRAVELED?: I think halfway across from where i am 40: DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?: nopeeeee 41: WHERE WERE YOU BORN?: on earth 42: PEOPLE YOU EXPECT TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS SURVEY?: i’ve seen this going around a lot so im not sure who to tag bc i feel like everyones done it already but you are more than free to do this! if youve made it this far consider urself tagged hahaha

[ashesfade-blog]

Headcanon  Dump  for  Dayne  Trevelyan.

Dayne pretty much never wears shoes while at Skyhold. She enjoys being barefoot and since it would be considered improper for her to do so outside of the walls, she takes advantage of it by doing it literally anytime that she can. Josephine and Blackwall often tell her that she needs to wear something on her feet because of the colder temperatures but Dayne brushes them off as if they were nothing and continues to do so happily, even if it does cause her to fall ill from time to time.

She spends most of her time in the garden, hiding among the bushes of flowers. She tends to have her nose buried in a book or into her own journal while there is normally a spread of sweet snacks laid out on a small piece of frilly fabric, as if she were having her own private picnic. She enjoys the gardens and the flowers because it is full of pretty things and most of the time people are happy while visiting the gardens. And she is a big fan of happy things. Like FLOWER CROWNS that she makes for the Inquisition, flowers chosen specifically on each individual’s personalities.

Dayne will often ask Iron Bull for piggy back rides and he gladly allows it every single time. While she is getting the piggy back ride, she almost always is tying flowers around his horns and he always pretends he doesn’t notice.

Her relationship with Cole is one of the most important ones that she has (and it’s probably one of my favorites). Imagine all of these beautiful things for a moment. Dayne and Cole would whisper kind thoughts about their companions into each other’s ears. Everyone around them would simply think that they are up to no good when in reality they are just being kind. She speaks to Cole the most often. The two platonically hold hands and cuddle while taking naps together. Dayne appreciates Cole’s ability to see through any sort of mask she might be wearing without her having to express her feelings with words. He brings a special kind of comfort one could only find in a friend that knows you inside and out.

Her relationship with Dorian is another one of my favorites because he is basically the kind of brother she wished her brother actually was. He is kind to her and instead of criticizing her every move, he is understanding and encouraging. When she feels sad, he is who she goes to for comfort with tear stained cheeks and reddened eyes because he doesn’t make her feel foolish for having a soft heart in a cruel world.  

Leliana and Dayne spend a lot of time together talking about Orlais. Josie would join them and they discuss pretty dresses, balls, fashion, boys and anything under the sun. They often slip into speaking Orlesian when they want to discuss something private and it almost always happens when Cullen is around. Dayne would keep an eye out for pretty things that remind her of them and will often surprise them with gifts, denying they were from her. #girlgang tbh

Her relationship with Blackwall is very father/daughter like. She goes to him with her problems because she knows he will see reason and will help her understand all possible outcomes. He watches out for her like a hawk, specifically with Commander Cullen.  

In the aspect of her canon story and marrying Cullen, Blackwall would give her away. Cole would be the ring bearer. Leliana and Josephine would be bridesmaids and Dorian would stand as her man of honor, right at her side.  

Dayne, unlike the typical inquisitor, was not trained in battle and actually had no skill at all for protecting herself, let alone all of Thedas. Since she was thrown into the role, needing the ability to fight, she approaches Cassandra to teach her how to yield a sword and a shield. Cassandra would not go easy on her. Cullen would watch from a distance, wincing / holding his breath / hoping she doesn’t get hurt and Dayne would be giggling most of the time.  

Music is something she thoroughly enjoys and will often visit the taverns so that she can hear the minstrels sing their songs. Dayne has no problem with getting up and dancing, even when looks are disapproving. She will shed her shoes and twirl and twirl.  

She doesn’t understand why she has to be decked out in armor all of the time. It was never a necessity before she became inquisitor and the transition has been difficult for her. She would much rather wear pretty dresses. Dayne would have saved up her money to commission an armored dress with engraved floral designs and hidden lace so that she could still wear pretty things while also being protected.  

Upon arriving at Skyhold, while everyone else was mortified by the state that it was in, Dayne felt nothing but excitement because it meant she could have this huge decor project. Before anyone could explain to her that the aesthetic of Skyhold needed to convey the Inquisition’s message, Dayne had thrown up lace curtains and white throw rugs with lots of pink hued decor items throughout all of Skyhold. Cullen is the one to break the news to her that the decor must change because Josie and Leliana don’t want to hurt her feelings. Dayne is more than happy to change everything because it means all of the decor she has can be used in her chambers (and some likely ends up in Leliana’s, Josephine’s and Cullen’s as well.)  

Platonic affection is extremely important to her. She showers everyone in cheek kisses, forehead kisses, nose kisses, hand holding, cuddles and all of the hugs in the world.  

Because of her lack of experience in the ways of war, Dayne suffers from severe anxiety. She can go from being the happiest girl in all of Thedas to panic attacks leaving her breathless and in tears within moments. When she has an attack, she will lock herself away in her chambers for hours refusing to let anyone inside. I imagine Cullen sitting outside of her door so that he can be the first that is there for her when she comes out. Dorian, Leliana and Josephine would tear down anyone who said that because of this, she was unfit to lead them. Cole would say comforting words without making her feel stupid and Blackwall would simply kiss the top of her head and offer her a hand to hold. But she would come out of the room looking as though nothing had happened, refusing to acknowledge that it ever happened because that is not who she is or who she wants to be.

She leaves kind notes for her companions to randomly find throughout all of Skyhold. There are probably encouraging words, compliments and uplifting phrases strewn on the neatly folded paper in girlish handwriting. // I like to believe that before the battle with Corypheus, she writes goodbye letters to all of the companions and hides them just as she would her other notes for them to find someday after she’s gone because she knows she won’t make it out of there alive. But she does and she forgets about the letters, laughing it off when Josie and Leliana get upset with her for even thinking such a thing could happen. Explaining to Cole how she felt like that would be it for her and that she wanted him to know that it was okay. Having to have a sit down with Blackwall so that he could explain that he understands why she felt the need to write it. But her finding Cullen in tears, clutching onto the piece of paper with clenched fists – feeling horrible for even the thought of him having to go through it.  

Dayne is a lover of all animals and will always stop to pet something if there is a chance that she can. I imagine her keeping little treats in her armor to give out to the animals she finds.

Dayne is a very down to EarthThedas sort of individual. She enjoys the simple things in life. In her down time she spends her time listening to music which always results in long winded solo dance sessions because she rarely can convince anyone to join her or she is alone in her chambers. She is also a pretty big book worm. I touched on this a little bit on my previous headcanon dump post earlier. She tends to have at least one book on her persons at any given time. Her favorite kind of books are love stories, but not the kind that Cassandra is into. She likes her knights in shining armor protecting said damsel in distress. Dayne is also a huge napper. She really loves her soft bed and will spend a ridiculous amount of time just laying there. I think she probably has difficulties getting out of bed in the mornings. And last but not least, horseback riding. It gives her the opportunity to do something that was a huge part of her life before the Inquisition. It helps her forget, even for just a little while, the weight that is on her shoulders.

Dayne is a devout Andrastian and has been her entire life. She studies the stories of Andraste and The Maker religiously (pun intended). She has never once doubted in a higher power and the holy writings. When she is given the title ‘Herald of Andraste’, she struggles with it and never truly doesn’t. She does not believe that she was some chosen holy entity and instead believes she is just a girl who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. In the beginning, she gets a little angry and upset when people refer to her by that name but as time goes on she tells herself that it is just something that people need to believe and so she allows it without every really believing it herself.

In all honesty, Dayne’s biggest regret was accepting her invitation to the conclave on behalf of her parents. Initially, she had been so excited to take part in such a historical event but it ultimately altered her life and forced her to forget any type of normal future she had hoped for. Dayne really wanted to be courted just as a noble woman would have been. She’d wanted to find a proper husband who would care for her and provide for her and love her and give her the children she’d always dreamed of. She wanted a modest estate with a large garden and a library full of books for her to bury herself in. Going to the conclave was what changed it all.

Despite having no real ties to either the templar side or the mage side before the Inquisition, she has always felt sympathetic towards the mages. Dayne is all about giving chances (multiple chances if we’re being honest) and the fact that mages aren’t even given a chance before they are tossed into the Circle breaks her heart. She understands why there was severe action taken and in her canon, places leliana as the divine and disbands the circle.

Solas and Vivienne are background noise to Dayne, which sounds absolutely terrible but the bottom line is that they are probably two of the most judgmental characters we see throughout the game and that is just a no go for precious little Dayne. She is cordial with the both of them but will literally walk away in the middle of a conversation when it starts to turn rude or “I’m better than so and so”.

As I stated in a previous headcanon, baths are one of Dayne’s favorite things. She likes to take extremely warm baths so that it takes a little longer for the water to cool just so she can lengthen her time spent in there. She is very into sweet smelling things and brings in special soaps from Orlais along with flower petals to soak in. She sings while she is bathing and sometimes ends up falling asleep in there. When she gets out of the tub, she likes to air dry in the sun rays that come in through the windows at Skyhold. She likes to watch the light reflect off of the water droplets because they remind her of glitter and prettier things.

She was a lady, living up to the stereotype of a fair maiden. She enjoyed her moments alone and the quiet life she had in her family’s estate in Ostwick. With the comfort of never having to worry much about not having enough, she was raised to be proper and suitable for a nobleman or someone of higher rank. Dayne was a carefree bookworm and lover of all living things. She would spend a lot of time in the stables with the horses and is/was the type of person who would stop and pet any creature that would allow her to. Soft-spoken, intelligent and extremely feminine. She wanted to please her family and hoped for a life similar to the one she had been already living with whomever her future husband might be. She enjoyed going to balls, flirting with suitable men and frilly, girly things.