#my grandparents are on my back about everything
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ootd...
#oc#art#i like how looked today..#hmm#Genderisms...#kind of went into a hostile-about-everything-feminine as retaliation phase#then full swing into hyperfemme a bit#then we're back here#idk my gender irdgaf but i think its interesting how ive reexplored femininity through a more queer experience after that retaliation#i wouldnt say my fashion sense reflects this lol my clothes mostly consist of handmedowns from my grandparents#but like. how i feel in general#i would still be hate to be called a woman for Reasons but it resonates yah#This is just my thoughts . Hope this does not cause anything#guy in a girl way thats in a guy way thats in a g
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yall ever end up thinking back on periods of ur life and ur like. bro what
#so i dropped out of school at like 13/14 to be home fulltime to take care of my grandparents yeah yeah whtever#whats insane is remembering that when i was 15 my mom tried to arrange a marriage for me with some guy who was in his early 20s#he was the deacons EXTREMELY autistic son and we had spoken like. 3 times. it had been fine like he was pretty cool#but like. she talked me into tentatively agreeing with her. she went to talk to the deacon and everything about it#fucking hello? hello? taps the mic isaiah southern baptist child bride real?#that always pulls the same thread in my brain of how my grandparents died only a month or so apart#so the pastor had just finished doing my grandmas memorial service when we asked him to do the funeral service to bury them both together#and the first thing out of his fucking mouth was 'hah wow didnt expect to see all of you again so soon!'#and that pavilion was SILENT. besides like someone sniffling#awkward fuckhead piece of shit that guy sucked#yk he once threw away what he had written all his notes to preach on bc a gay couple had just moved to the area and wanted to try our churc#so he spent the whole time ranting about how gay people go to hell instead and they left in the middle of it crying#hell on earth.#my mom convinced him to start a school thru the church and i dont think ANY of their teachers went to college besides literally 1#bc she had just retired from the local middle school and had the free time to participate#but then i guess it all just comes back around#my brother graduated from there and became a ta when he was 18 and started dating a 14/15yo so#genuinely so glad i got the fuck outta there#what a nightmare that town was. christ
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What did I decide to do as I’m waiting for the new episode of The Pitt to drop? I decided to rewatch the episode of ER where Carter and Kem loses their baby… because I hate myself apparently…
Me every time I watch that episode:

#Nicole watches stuff#Nicole watches ER#now I’m watching the episode where Jing Mei gives birth to like full the ache of the other episode#but it also made me sad because he’s so good with her during her labour and he looks so happy to be there to support her#even if he’s tired he’s great#and then I thought about the way he had to be strong for Kem as she was giving birth even when his heart was breaking#they really did say fuck you Carter to him a lot huh#lost his brother when he was a child his parents were absent especially his mum#his family isn’t super happy that he’s a doctor even when that is clearly his dream#then he loses his grandparents who seemed to be more like his parents than his parents#then he gets stabbed and his colleague/friend dies and he blames himself#he gets addicted to drugs and is sent to rehab he later has a relapse although he throws the pills up it’s still a relapse#he goes to Congo during a war and that whole thing takes a toll on him#then he goes back to get Luka’s body and goes on a quest but that at least has a happy ending because he finds him alive#then he loses his unborn child his girlfriend leaves#then he leaves the show ofc to be with her#and when he gets back he’s back because he needs a kidney transplant because the only kidney that was working is shutting down#he gets the transplant which is ofc good but he didn’t feel like he could call his damn wife to tell her about it#because they’re on their way to a divorce even if he doesn’t want that#she then shows up at the opening of the medical center named after their son and he thinks that there is still hope for them#but she kind of turns him down and it’s like???#give my boy a break Jesus Christ!#I don’t even know if I remembered everything…#anyway looking forward to most likely be emotionally devastated by the Pitt in like an hour 🥳
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Rest in peace Mateo, I'll miss you
#my cat mateo#the last photo is the last one i have of him the day he died.#as you can see he was not doing well#im just glad i was upstairs when he finally passed because i would have started bawling#he was the first cat my family got back on March 16 2017#we got him and Pepperoni at almost the same time (pepperoni came home the day after)#ive always talked about them being brothers even though theyre not related and now pepperoni has lost his brother#midnight has lost his brother and everyone else lost their uncle#the plan is to take him to my grandparents to bury him in their backyard#my brother is planning to make a marker for him#i am slightly worried for my brother because he has claimed Mateo as his for years and now hes gone#and he couldnt do anything to help him#he bought a bunch of jack daniels after he took mareo to the vet and they said there was little they could do#i cried holding pepperoni for like an hour at least last night#and i keep seeing Whiskey and thinking shes Mateo because they look kinda similar#mateo is sitting in a box on the back deck while we wait for it to warm up enough to dig his grave#hes wrapped up and hes got a can of food with him#i just dont know what to do#i keep being fine all day but then night comes and everything makes me think of him and i start crying again#i just wish i could have done something to ease his pain. to help him
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.
#my papa was diagnosed w lung and colon cancer. and he's too frail to do anything about it. so he's essentially just going to slowly die#they're not sure how long it'll take. or how advanced the cancer is. but it's there. and it will take him.#my grandma is also descending into bad dementia from her multiple traumatic brain injuries#it's gotten noticeably worse this past month#she needs to stop driving but I'm the only person in the family w a driver's license who can get to her#so if anyone was to pick up the slack it would be me.#aside from literally not having time nor money for that. I don't know how to handle this sort of grief#I'm 26 but I haven't come to terms w the fact that there is a quickly approaching day#where I'm going to wake up and my grandparents aren't going to be around any more#and I won't see them ever again.#I know I shouldn't borrow grief. but how do you avoid it.#and my granddad too.#and I can't really discuss this with anyone else. my siblings should be the ones that I could unpack this with#but bc of the age gaps between most of us they have an entirely different relationship with these people than I do#I remember everything. picking my granddad up from the airport. him giving me tootsie rolls. crying when we dropped him back off.#going fishing w my papa. bringing the fish back and watching my grandma gut and filet them. building a sandbox with him.#shelling pecans w my grandma. watching court tv while she made breakfast. her trying and failing to teach me how to swim.#it's not fair that I'm going to be the only person who remembers those things. and that to some degree I already am.
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Sanders Sides is really annoying (affectionate?) to me bc when we talk about 'canon' most people in the conversation are all going to have different ideas of what 'canon' is from each other. For example, for me (and I'm making this post bc I wanted to clarify what I in particular am talking about when I talk about canon) canon is the mainline canon videos, asides (and videos that were previously asides) as well as other dedicated videos (such as the grwm) are supplementary but not canon, and nothing else is canon. But then there are people who take clarifying tweets as canon. And that's fine! It just makes it a little confusing when people are talking about 'canon' but everyone is talking about a different range of information.
Like I'll personally admit I'm a little snobby about what I consider canon. I'm the type if person that thinks if the creator wants something to be canon, it should be stated, implied, or possible to extrapolate from the canon work. For example with Dungeon Meshi, I don't take Daydream Hour as canon information, but rather supplementary. (Not that I need to bc Ryoko Kui does put everything you need to know into the manga, seriously if you haven't read it, I can't recommend it enough.) But there are some people who do. And that's ok! I also don't take her tweets or interviews as canon. This is a general rule I have in what I take as canon across all fandoms.
And I think I've not been clear enough about what I mean by 'supplementary' and I mean like, for example in Ace Attorney I am again, a total snob, and I only count canon as AA 1-4 and AAI 1&2 and this is not an incredibly unpopular opinion but it's still... y'know. Not considering 2 main line games canon. And there are loads of reasons for that which we don't have time for in this post bc we're not actually talking about Ace Attorney, so to get to my actual point. I don't consider the audio drama CDs to be 'canon' but you bet your ass Mikeko is showing up in my fics (a CD only pet cat for Apollo) and I also just stated I don't view AA5 as canon, or at least the same canon (it's complicated) but I love playing around with Clay's concept and several of the other characters from 5+6. I'm just not talking about them when I'm talking strictly about canon.
Idk if I explained that well enough (and if I didn't, please ask me to clarify). I just feel like everyone should have access to the information that I am a snob with unpopular opinions and I love you even if you're less of a snob than me. In fact that would probably be a plus. You DO NOT have to agree with me, I love when people have their own opinions, 'it takes all sorts' and all that, yeah? I just wanted to clarify what I'm talking about when I mention canon.
#sanders sides#siding post#like i hope i didn't come across as a jerk or anything. i have a really hard time with tone when i'm 'talking' like this#it's the autism for sure i have a hard time reading tone from others too. i wish i could just make a video or something#i mean i could but idk if anyone would want that. i actuall thought the other day about it but...#why WOULD anyone want my lame ass snobby opinions on stuff? though i think to be a snob you have to think you're right#which i don't think i'm wrong but i also don't think other people are wrong#idk. i'm wiped. i work with 10 one year olds for 9 hours a day plus taking care of my grandparents and class#i'm eepy. maybe i should stop making posts when i'm half dead. but that's the only time my anxiety turns off#but good news!!! i'm getting back on my meds which should help with pretty much everything#i keep writing in the tags bc i'm stalling hitting post bc i'm nervous everyone is going to hate me and think i'm a jerk and stupid#i literally don't care what other people do this post isn't actually about having an opinion on what is canon it's about the fact that we#all have to have an opinion on what is canon and more likely than not you're going to be talking with people who are not talking about the#same thing as you and it can get confusing.#ok i'm going to hit post now if you read all my tags you're a real one but also why did you do that to yourself
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My mother confuses the fuck out of me
#i guess she's getting severance checks from her old job?#i mean fuck that's the least they could do after she worked there for 40 years#she only gets 900 a month from my dad's SSI survivor benefits#she went from saying we're struggling financially to suddenly offering to pay for shit i need#that kinda scares me because i think that means she's impulsively spending her savings. which could mean she thinks she's gonna die soon#she's 64 and my dad died at almost 63#like she helped my sister buy my niece a car. it's a 24 year old vehicle and only costed 4k and she paid 2k but 2k is a LOT to us#she said she's been saving my rent money to fix my car for the past couple of months on top of me saving for it#which means we definitely have the money to fix everything by now#but that's not happening all my tires still need to be replaced my ac doesn't work it's making clinking sounds#it stalled while i was driving the other day but turning it off and restarting it fixes it#anyway. the thing is I'm always sus about my mom offering shit.#she likes to hold shit over your head.#I'm very worried that she's gonna fix my car and then use that to control me in some way. because that's how it is every time.#but like.....it's better than not having the help. fuck.#i feel so privileged despite how broke and disabled i am. bc most disabled people dont have this to fall back on#the craziest thing is that the only reason we have this house is bc of my grandparents' inheritance#and neither of them went to college my grandpa was in the army#and my grandma only temporarily worked for jc penney as a bookkeeper#side note my 80 year old grandma was better with computers than most elderly people are today#just from that job? from what i know#when she died my family sold the family house and that's how we put the down payment on this house#which btw only costed 64k in 2012 apparently it's worth 175k now according to zillow#but like. how. i feel like my family being white and christian is the only reason we have all this privilege#i have a headache bye#.bdo
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I think hearing Lane Moje live would heal me (parts of me)
#j. talks#I've got 2 concerts to go to this year and if everything goes right might visit my grandparents in June in B.#also probably go and see my friend with another friend in Copenhagen and maybe even another trip to B. but you know what I haven't done?#I haven't dared to send in the master application for the nearest uni or contact my beloved former prof or even reply to my old work crush#although I miss everyone dearly. sometimes it makes me sick at work and I haven't cried in a bit about all of it#tbh when I came back from Vienna last month everything went to shit and I am slowly getting better again#but it's fine. right? what even is normal and a stable future? but yeah#that song live? it would heal something (though probably none of the problems mentioned)
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experiencing the horrors today (i have to go to the dentist)
#shout out to my genetics for making me have absurdly resilient and nice teeth so i can avoid everything besides the twice a year checkups#i almost needed braces that would have been hell#<- when i say almost i mean i went to an orthodontist and they said i needed braces#mom decided to wait bc we were about to go visit my grandparents#when we got back my teeth were fine again
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watched a romance movie with a love triangle and im kinda in disbelief that i got the love interest the girl ends up with wrong
#i am the secret in your heart#the set up is 2 boys 1 girl (one boy is a childhood bestfriend the other is saved by the fl from bullies as kids)#the boy that’s saved by the fl as kids shows him a puppy that he adopts & then is forced to move away by his mom#so he doesn’t know her name or who she is UNTIL he moves back w his grandparents#only the girlie has no idea who the new guy is other than he’s handsome & cool and she wants him as her bf#but IM rooting for the childhood friend who knows everything about her and is in a band and writes love songs about her but she’s oblivious#bc to her he’s just the kid that grew up with her#like he confesses after she gets called ‘easy’ by the new guy bc he gets jealous over how every1 assumes her & childhood bf are a couple#and the childhood bestie cheers her up & is like why can’t it be me and my HEART#bc here’s me thinking oh girlie gets questioned what is he to you and has to confront her feelings#but apparently the writer of the manga this movie is apparently based of hates me specifically bc she does not address what he is to her#only that she likes the new guy & his dog is dying and she’s in the rain w him and she calls her bestie and he RUSHES TO HELP HER BC#SHE ASKED HIM TO EVEN THOUGH HE DOESNT LIKE THE NEW GUY BC HES JEALOUS#im killing myself#as i remember the scene where the childhood bestie watches the girlie comfort the guy in the rain he leaves them in their moment#LIKE what’s the point of the girlie ending up w the newbie guy if he moves away & they’re in a long distance relationship that falls apart#when the best friend is still there in the background … when will she REALIZE
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Fave memory of my grandma:
Christmas. I'm 14 years old. My family is sitting at the dining room table after dinner. My grandma is a liiiittle drunk. Sitting beside me, she leans in to say, conspiratorially, "So, my dear. You're old enough now. Are you hot to trot?"
An hour later, my family is exchanging gifts. I unwrap the one from my grandma. It's a massive pack of jumbo menstrual pads. Like. Diaper-sized 😭
I fucking miss her.
#she was the first of my grandparents to pass away 😞#i always think about her closer to christmas bc we ALWAYS had christmas dinner at her place ❤️#she made THE most incredible christmas dinners every year#probably the best cook i've ever known#she and my grandpa - this is on my mom's side btw - are part of what made christmas so magical for me as a kid#the beautiful christmas tree and the millions of cute christmas decorations all over their house#the thought they put into christmas presents - not JUST gag gifts lol#the way just BEING there for christmas made everything feel special#and i think maybe that's part of why it takes me until like a week into december to actually feel any christmas spirit#they already put up christmas decorations at my work and i just felt miserable walking into my shift yesterday and seeing that#thinking about christmas too soon just feels like a gut-punch reminder#that some of the people that made christmas CHRISTMAS for me are no longer here.#that the magic i felt as a kid can never be brought back.#that my family may have been fragmented then but it's even more fragmented now.#i'm just.....having a lot of feelings rn.#my post#softgothbabe#personal#okay to reblog#(in case anyone wants or wasn't sure idk)#thoughts#sillyposting#(the post not the tags lol)#memories#christmas#nsft ish#laugh tag#(THE POST NOT THE TAGS)#rambles#idk lol bye
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they'll fund a genocide and let their poor regions be destroyed. don't fucking forgive them for that.
my hometown is completely gone from what pictures i can find of it, i have not heard from my family (including aunts, uncles, parents, one sibling, and a grandparent), and the infrastructure in the mountain communities is wiped out. i cannot stress how catastrophic this is, or how difficult it will be for these communities to build back. i am angry, and scared, and heartbroken by everything that's happened.
and our government is spending it's money to fund a genocide.
free palestine, and don't be complicit. realize that this is not something happening that doesn't affect you--although it shouldn't take this to care about the deaths of thousands of people anyway.
#sorry for this angry rant i am not having a good week#hurricane helene#helene#free palestine#laurie thoughts#maybe i'm just screaming to the void and nobody will care since that's how it's gone so far#i could go on and on about how fucked this is not to mention the politics of how we got here#i am so fucking done
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There’s something off about Bruce.
Dick’s eye is trained for detail; He has to calculate every leap, every step, every breath, every count. He’s a showman. Everything is routine, and routine is everything.
Injury isn’t unusual, especially for his father .He out stubborns Tim in resisting medical examinations, after all.
For Bruce, secrets are protection. He lied about every injury he had when Dick was Robin, suffering in silent agony as the pain grew and grew, a tradition he carries on from Jason to Damian.
If Bruce screams, it’s bad.
“God fucking dammit, how the fuck does he do this? Who the fuck breaks their femur AND just carries on? Jesus FUCKING Christ.”
Bruce curses under his breath, profanity hushed. Dick’s veins freeze, blood turning to stone. He guesses his shock is obvious because Jason mirrors it to perfection.
One; Bruce doesn’t curse.
Two; He definitely doesn’t curse in a jersey accent.
The unease is pungent. Alfred practically tastes it, vitriolic as anything. His chest is taut, pulse slow, “Sir,” it’s cautious, “Shall I prepare the supplies?”
‘Bruce’ waves his hand, voice gruffer, lower, smokey, “Yeah, thanks, babe,”
Alfred blinks. And whoever pretends to be Bruce, blinks back, almost like a deer being cornered by an English hound, smile a bit boyish and unsure.
“…Thomas?”
“… Okay, you’re gonna laugh—“
Dick is reeling, because apparently:
His dead grandparents have been possessing his father throughout the years and they, wards to the best detective in the world, never caught on.
“Look, I get you’re pissed, BUT,” It’s so unbelievably weird watching Bruce be so expressive;
His hands move energetically, like they have their own voices, and his rain soft voice catches on fire when his father talks through him,
“This IS 50% MY body, technically.“
“Thomas, dear, that is not how that works. Come now, you’re scaring our grandchildren.”
And Jason’s voice is uncharacteristically soft when he speaks, more posh, more elegant . That is not his brother.
Alfred passes out, to no one’s surprise.
#I’m kinda obsessed with the theory that ghosts can only possess relatives or people they’re extremely close to#so Martha possessing jason just further solidifies him as Bruce’s son#also I just really want dead waynes shenanigans!! I think Thomas possesses Bruce the most when he gets injured so he can take the pain#or help him heal. (also land his son dates MAYBE)#Martha possesses Bruce to help him with social interaction and communication.#bruce wayne#dc#dc comics#batman#text#jason todd#dick grayson#alfred pennyworth#thomas wayne#martha wayne#batfamily#text post
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"Transandrophobia isn't real"
A few years back my grandparents and I wanted to see a gynecologist for reasons, I was under 18, but every gynecologist that worked with minors refused to take trans boys. I haven't had a single bit of medical transition unless you count birth control. I have a vagina and boobs. Everything about my body is female but I was denied care because my hair was short and I had a deeper voice.
And when I tried explaining this to a transphobe they went "Well yeah they don't want mentally ill people"
My exclusion was based off of me being too masculine. Y'know, the thing that transandrophobes claim doesn't exist?
Transmascs go through the same shit transfems do. Transandrophobes need to stop shitting on us to feel superior and get a fucking life.
#i dont identify as a binary trans man anymore but im clinging to the label trans man with my grubby hands cuz i've grown attached to it#lgbtqia#trans man#transmasc#transgender#transandrophobia#anti trans masculinity
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what’s left of you, wherein you confront the life nanami kento has left behind for you to navigate through.

a/n : i was going to post this in parts but i didn’t want to compromise anything so here you guys go!!! one of the scenes was posted a bit earlier as a sneak peek so you might recognize that!
word count : 1.6k
prompt : finally getting everything you ever wanted only for it to be taken right from your grasp. angst with a happy ending.
disclaimer : english is not my first nor second language so please be patient! if you spot errors or typos, feel free to comment :) thank you!
the summer breeze passes you by as you stand, your hair dancing with the wind you overlook your alma mater’s campus behind you. nostalgia washes over you, memories of your youth that you so desperately tried to bury coming back.
approximately a decade ago, you stood in this exact spot with nanami kento, who, at the time, served as the light in your life.
you experienced all the horrors the world had to offer, but kento never once faltered. despite facing all those said horrors head-on, he remained kind-hearted, carrying out his tasks with a smile.
and you don’t know when you first started loving him, but it must be around your third year of junior high school when your love for nanami kento truly blossomed, manifesting in ways that, in retrospect, were not so subtle.
but kento was taught to be a gentleman through and through, and so his modesty translated into a sense of denseness.
everyone knew it except for him. your upperclassmen especially, noticed your favoritism and even made teasing remarks about it, but with nanami, it all went through one ear and out the other. he brushed it all off, claiming that your special treatment came from a place of familiarity, because you’d known each other for far longer.
and so began your little game of cat and mouse.
“kento, i got you your favorite bread!” your classes hadn’t even started yet, and you were already greeting him with a smile and an outstretched arm, offering him a sandwich from his favorite bakery.
“HAH?! it’s 8:12 in the mornin’! you mean to tell me you deliberately went outta your way to pick up a sandwich for nanami and nothin’ for anyone else?!” gojo interrupted, approaching you and swinging an arm around your shoulder as shoko and geto, your other upperclassmen, trail behind him.
the latter chuckles in amusement, eyes forming two thin lines as he smiles, “ah, young love.”
“that’s how my grandparents started off, too.” shoko joins in on the teasing, making you roll your eyes at their antics.
thankfully, nanami saves you from humiliation when he speaks up, sighing as he shakes his head. “don’t mind them. thank you, i really appreciate this.”
kento takes the sandwich and unwraps it, then splits it in half before handing the bigger slice to you, making the others gasp and woo. gojo pushes you towards kento with the arm he had previously wrapped around you, making you falter as you fall in the blonde’s arms. their teasing shrieks only get louder, with geto muttering a little “i was unfamiliar with your game.”
kento lets go of you once you find your footing, and he scolds the white haired man, furrowing his brows as he does so.
he looks back again at you, face softening as he offers you a small smile. his brown eyes find yours as he apologizes, extending his arms for the second time as he gives you your half of the sandwich.
suddenly feeling bashful under his gaze and the added presence of the others, you look down as you clear your throat, having no choice but to take the food, fearing that their teasing would only worsen if you refused.
times were much simpler then. you can’t help but wonder how different things could have turned out had you all been born as non sorcerers, away from the responsibilities forced upon you, the responsibilities you inherited, and the weight placed upon your shoulders since your birth.
but then you remember how everything, even the bad aspects of your upbringing, only made you and kento closer, and suddenly you don’t mind so much. because for kento, you’d take all the pain if it meant being able to keep his love.
like that time when you and kento were walking home after a duo mission when the sky suddenly started pouring. without an umbrella or even a jacket to keep either of you dry, you head to the nearest convenience store together and shake off the droplets of rain caught within your clothes.
taking a seat, you watch the world through the glass walls of the store. kento follows your gaze, before he fishes a handkerchief out his pocket. it’s surprisingly dry when he offers it to you without a word.
looking up at him in confusion, you take it from his hands. you’re about to speak when he beats you to it, muttering a quick and simple, “i’ll get us some ramen,” before he disappears into one of the aisles.
you’re left in confusion, feeling stunned before you clear your throat and pull yourself together. that’s just how kento is, you think, shrugging it off as you pat yourself dry.
minutes later, he returns with two cups of noodles and gently places your favorite flavor in front of you, then a wooden pair of chopsticks on top. taking a seat next to yours, he begins eating as you two watch the rain.
silence fills the room, save for the sounds of slurping and the harsh drops of rain outside. the tranquility provides a sense of comfort to the both of you, wrapping you up like a blanket after the harsh mission you’d just returned from.
the atmosphere is light and peaceful, much like how kento’s always made you feel. offering his seats, holding your bags when you feel tired, and even keeping an eye on you during missions. you don’t know how he does it. be perfect, you mean, because there is not a single flawed bone in nanami’s body.
it’s evident, especially in that one memory you hold so dearly in your heart.
after being separated for years after high school, you all went to your respective colleges. you thought it’d be the end of your little high school crush story, but little did you know what the future held in store for you.
years after, you and kento are in a french café, a pain au chocolat and a croissant resting on your respective plates. he had come across one of your social media accounts on accident, stumbling upon it when he was looking for… honestly, he doesn’t know what he was looking for. all he remembers is seeing your name and picture, and, as if a moth to a flame, clicking the message option to shoot you a text.
“that day is engraved into my brain,” light breaths of air escape his lips as he talks about the 7/11 ramen run, and you wonder how he can make even the slightest noises like that sound perfect, “i think about it a lot. you know, that was probably the first time i’d ever seen you in that sense.”
“you still think about that?”
…
“you don’t?”
———
kento nanami was a man of unwavering patience and little indulgence. every decision, no matter how small, was carefully well thought out, so you were surprised when he proposed to you after only 3 years and 7 months.
as waves of sunlight illuminated your face, kento sat up in bed with a pen and a newspaper, his bare back against the headboard as he pushed up his glasses. he clears his throat when he feels you shuffle awake, one of his hands snaking its way into your hair.
“good morning, sweetheart.” his voice is husky, clearly just having come from slumber.
you groan against him, nuzzling into the sides of his torso, your cheeks resting against his abs, “good morning, handsome.”
“you flatter me, my love.” he chuckles against you, and if it were up to nanami, he’d stay in this moment forever, the snug fit of your body against his aiding the sun in warming him up. he snaps the newspaper straight, catching your attention.
“what’s that?” you ask, closing your eyes and pressing yourself further, as if magnetized.
“today’s word search. would you like to help me?”
you groan, sighing as you pull yourself together and force your eyelids open. you rub your eyes and yawn, mirroring his posture as you sit up and rest your head against his shoulder.
that’s when you see it.
the encircled words: me, my, marry, will, love.
“my love, will you marry me?”
and as the sweet answer of “yes” escapes your lips, nanami sees it clearly now. how he’s always been yours. even if he didn’t know it. even if you didn’t know it.
but now you both do. and he realizes, that day when he found your account.
he’s always been looking for you.
———
your wedding ring fits snugly on your finger as you fidget, rolling it around.
it’s been a year since kento’s departure. a year since shibuya. a year since your life turned upside down and you’d lost all you ever had.
you remember a time when you thought you held the world in your hands. because with kento, he never made you feel any less, always at your disposal.
so now you keep his last name, and although you and kento never really had kids, you find yourself with three of his.
nobara, yuuji, and megumi all pool around you as you visit his grave. they’re laughing, conversing happily as they tell him stories of how good you’ve been to them.
“yuuji keeps eating away all of the food mrs. nanami makes!”
“nanamin, that’s not true! shut up nobara, i have to eat a lot because i work out!”
“both of you, shut up. this is so embarassing…”
despite not being able to physically share these memories with your husband, you’re not worried. you know he’s looking down on you, maybe even guiding you like the angel he is. knowing him, he’d probably argue with even the highest of beings if it meant being able to watch over you once more.
and maybe you lost all you ever had, but now you’ve gained a whole new world.
because no amount of sorrow or grief or heartache could compare to even a fraction to the miracle that is kento’s love. because regardless of the short time you’ve shared together, nanami’s love was enough to last you a lifetime.
a/n : thank you for making it this far! i hope you enjoyed it. likes & reblogs are appreciated but i rly rly rly love when you guys comment! :,) makes me feel like i’m not talking to a brick wall :p
#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen angst#nanami kento x you#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento fluff#nanami kento angst#nanami kento#nanami#nanami x you#nanami x reader#nanami fluff#nanami angst#jjk nanami#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk angst#jjk kento
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Do you ever have dreams that almost directly tell you what to do? Like literally lay out a plan for you and tell you how this is going to roll out. Sometimes multiple times.
#I keep getting dreams about the Cabin my grandparents has when I was younger#I just loved that place I made an Open Season fanfic about it#(I was like 7 btw)#anyways-I always felt safe there like it was my sanctuary#but one day that changed#I was followed by someone who gives me anxiety attacks#and suddenly it wasn’t a sanctuary#my grandparents were thinking of selling it by then#and I was all for it#now-I feel everything I should of when they sold it#like suddenly it’s my sanctuary and my dreams want me to find and buy it back#sort of like the unfinished business of my childhood is catching up
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