#my genus is frightening

[ihavenosoul12]

torchwood. what a show

[eldritch-bf]

Genus “oh my god these bones are so frightening looking at this creature probably turns you to stone let’s name it after the mythological Gorgon” LEAVE HER ALONE

[irradiatedsnakes]

Hi! I really like your furry aus! They really inspired me to branch out species in my own. I was wondering how you chose such a wide array— I’ve noticed a bias towards mammals in my own, with birds following close behind. Do you have any tips on collecting species & looking for furry symbolism? Thank you!

HI HELLO so i typed out most of an answer to this like a month or two ago then it got deletd and this languished in my askbox since so let me try again and emphasize the stuff that i think is the most important when i'm making my furry aus

biological interest and diversity

i think the biggest thing that gets my goat when i look at other furry aus is the lack of animal diversity. and, i need to be clear here, this is ENTIRELY a personal gripe/preference- it just kind of annoys me when i see furry aus that are entirely familiar, domestic mammals, yknow? where at least half the characters are dogs and cats. like, no shade to people who do or like those, i cannot emphasize enough how this is a meaningless Me pet peeve, i just really really think furries in general should broaden their horizons and try out more out-there species. and i'm not perfect in this way either: there's an OBVIOUS bird bias in my choices, and a MASSIVE tetrapod bias: almost none of my furries are fish or inverts, despite fish species outnumbering tetrapod species, and invertebrate species outnumbering vertebrate species by massive orders of magnitude.

i think my point is: try getting more unconventional with it. i also really like including extinct species because that's just my jam. pterosaurs, man, consider them

i often will do wikipedia trawls for animals when choosing species for furry aus- i'll have a general idea of the animal i want (ie, horsefly, wallaby) and i'll get to peruse the various families/genera/species under those more general umbrellas til i find something that works either visually or symbolically better than the others.

i'll also say that there will often be a very obvious choice for characters- like, spider for annabelle cane, or something. i encourage, in cases like this, don't go with the obvious choice, see if you can find something more subtly meaningful and interesting. (see: a hummingbird for annabelle cane. they steal spiderwebs in order to weave their nests, but can become trapped in the webs instead and get eaten by the spider.) it can also help to actively try and choose animals- like inverts and fish- that don't usually immediately jump to mind for you.

i also highly recommend getting Specific with it. always do your best to choose a Species of animal, rather than a genus, family, or more general group. it's always more interesting.

2. The Process

so very first thing when i'm choosing a species for a characetr is ENTIRELY vibes-based. like what does this character Feel like. sometimes this step is skipped, if there's like, an obvious symbolic or mentioned-in-canon choice that would make more sense (see: condor callum crown). but most of the time for me: Vibes. i'm just gonna list a few of my dialtown furries and my thought process (as i remember it, may be inaccurate) for how i chose them? hopefully that helps a bit.

oliver, to me, feels like a soft and fluffy mammal. he's outgoing, friendly, kind of an in-your-face personality. just feels like a mammal to me! but he's also a complete freak, so i was like, oh, he has to be a marsupial or a monotreme. the Strange mammals! i decided that, from there, he feels most like one of the megapodes (kangaroos, wallabys, those sorts) to me. kangaroos look too scary and imposing, with a frightening Buff Man kind of vibe, so those were out. went to wallabies, because they get that cute fluffy mammal vibe that i wanted for him. i eventually settled on the yellow-footed rock wallaby: they have bold, stripey patterning that i think fits his vibe, and rufous coloration on their limbs that meshes well with his red color palette.

or let's take randy. vibes here were some sort of Trash Animal, those sorts like pigeons and raccoons that adapt well to living in human garbage and most people regard as a nuisance. randy also feels very Birdy to me. from there, i think it was fig who suggested an animal that preys upon swans, and that's really funny. i eventually landed on gulls: some larger gulls will hunt swan chicks, and gulls are a perfect epitome of Trash Animal. i went with the great black-backed gull in particular- randy jade being the biggest, most imposing, apex-predator ass gull is really funny to me. also: i like great black-backed gulls.

karen! she was pretty straightforward for me: karen very much felt like a bug. some sort of insect or arachnid was my starting point: i felt that the Bug Vibes fit her well and that the segmented leg look would work well for her visually. flies are a group i like a lot and felt fit well here- overlooked, often seen as generic or boring (but are actually really cool), and also i like them. and, like, i couldn't resist the pull of Oh She Should Be A Horsefly. She Needs To Be A Horsefly. much like for oliver, the species was chosen for visual reasons: needed to be brown or tan to complement her color scheme, and i didn't want it to be one of the like, larger/scarier horseflies. band-eyed brown horseflies fit her color scheme and are pretty to look at.

3. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

that's most of what i've got, i think. sorry for the lateness, hope this can provide some direction.

[thenightfolknetwork]

um, hello. sorry, i’m a bit new to this “writing-in” thing, hopefully this isn’t too much of a mess.

you see, about a week ago, i met with my brother for the first time in… a while. about ten years to be exact. i was turned fairly young, when i was about 16, and my brother was only around 5 at the time. thing was, when i was first turned, i didn’t tell my parents. they would have hated the idea of me becoming a creature of the night, let alone a hematophage.

i didn’t quite understand how feeding worked at the time, or the sudden hunger that would strike me if i didn’t eat regularly. so, not quite sure how to handle myself yet, i nearly starved. i blacked out. and i bit my brother.

i didn’t mean to, i promise. my parents took him to the hospital almost immediately. they asked to keep him from turning, and told me to stay away. so i did. for about two weeks i would leave and come back to the hospital, only to be turned away by a family member or nurse refusing to let me see my brother. i would go home, only to find my parents had put in iron and silver all around, burning me whenever i tried to enter.

so i left. there wasn’t much i could do. i grew up staying with friends, other people of my genus, never staying to long in one place. i settled down fairly recently, got myself a home and a new boyfriend. and a job at a small shop downtown. one day, as i’m walking up to get inside, i see my brother. he’s looking in the window at some new posters we had gotten. i was so happy. i ran up to him, perhaps coming on a bit too strong, and introduced myself.

i understand that i hurt him in the past. i know i scared him. i hate that i ran away, and left him. but to see my own brother, staring up at me, terrified, holding a silver stake? it was a new kind of pain.

i see him almost every day now, but i keep my distance. he made his message clear. he works next door, apparently. sometimes i leave notes, apologies that i find crumpled in the gutter between our stores.

please. i miss my brother. but he hates me now, and he refuses to speak. i’d rather he renounce me, scream that he hates me, or do something, anything other than staring at me with his hand on his belt ready to pull out that damn stake. what do i do?

The first thing that strikes me in reading this letter is the ages of everyone involved. You say you were “fairly young” when you were turned. Reader, you were a child. You were a child, going through a change that is frightening and difficult even for adults who have freely chosen this path.

You were a child, and you were failed, utterly, by the adults responsible for keeping you safe. They failed to provide a supportive environment for you, so that you felt the need to keep this transformation a secret. In so doing, they failed to protect both you and your brother from the obvious, foreseeable consequences of that secrecy.

You didn't “run away” or abandon your brother. You were driven away – again, as a child. You had no agency in this situation, no chance to choose how you wanted to act. Please, be a little kinder to yourself.

I am also struck by your brother's age. He's not an adult man choosing to cut you out of his life – he's a 15 year old boy, already muddling through the slings and arrows of adolescence, suddenly confronted by the reappearance of his estranged sibling.

I'm afraid, reader, you may be asking too much of him. You have no idea what your brother has been told about you.

You don't know what he's been told about the events preceding your departure from the family home, or how your parents have raised him to think about the creature community in general. (Though, if he habitually carries a silver stake in his belt, we can certainly make some inferences.)

His reaction to you speaks more of shock and confusion than outright hatred and anger. It might be that he just needs time to process your reappearance, and to decide how he wants to proceed. Give him that time.

I recommend approaching him one more time, in as calm and neutral a manner as you can manage. Let him know you aren't going to push this – that you'd like to spend some time with him, perhaps get a cup of tea and chat a little, but that it's entirely up to him. Give him an easy way to contact you, and then, reader – walk away.

I hope your brother has a better support system around him than you did at his age. I hope there are adults in his life who can help him through this difficult process and reach a decision that feels right for him.

But that's not something you can control. All you can control is how you treat him – with respect and dignity, taking an adult's share of the emotional burden so it does not fall entirely on his young shoulders.

And by that, I do mean you need to take responsibility for your own emotional well-being here. Whether you find support from your friends or seek out professional help, you need to work through your grief and trauma around your parents' behaviour towards you.

At the risk of sounding patronising, I urge you to remember that you are also still very young, both by sapio standards and even more so by the standards of other, more long-lived genuses.

Your youth does not undermine your right to safety or happiness, or your right to have your grief taken seriously. But it does mean that there is time for this situation to change.

In time, your brother may grow out of the narrow view of the world in which your parents have raised him. I hope so. And by working on yourself and your own emotional health, you will be ready to be better sibling to him if and when he does choose to have you in his life.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[rebeccathenaturalist]

Climate Change Fuels Northwest Tree Die-back

I’ve been living in the Pacific Northwest since 2006. I moved here in part because of the overall milder weather compared to the Midwest where I grew up. And yet since then I’ve watched the average temperatures get hotter, the hot periods get longer, and the rainy season shorten at both ends like the edges of a dried leaf curling up in drought. This has led to an increase in tree die-back.

There’s no more iconic natural symbol of this region than a forest. Images of vast conifer woods are used to attract tourists here, and tree iconography graces company logos, license plates, and the flag of our bioregion. The timber industry still holds immense amounts of power and land here, but conservation groups are hard at work preserving as much non-plantation forest as possible, especially the last few scraps of old growth.

It is alarming, then, to see that some of the first widely visible casualties of climate change are trees.

Last year Oregon saw the biggest die-off of fir trees–true firs in the genus Abies, not the Douglas fir, Pseudotsuga menziesii. My favorite species of tree, the western red cedar (Thuja plicata) is also declining at a frightening rate. And for the last few years, I’ve watched numerous Sitka spruce trees (Picea sitchensis) struggle and ultimately die; mature trees are surprisingly susceptible. It’s not just the conifers that are in trouble, though; one of the region’s largest deciduous trees, the bigleaf maple (Acer macrophylla) has also been hit hard by hotter, drier summers.

It’s a one-two punch, because drought-stressed trees are more susceptible to diseases and parasites. The Sitka spruce are plagued by spruce aphids, for example, but the other species also have trouble fighting off their attackers. Couple that with warmer winters that may not kill off as many invertebrates, fungi, and bacteria as usual, and infestations often roar back even bigger once spring returns. If the trees were healthy and well-hydrated their immune systems might have a better chance of fending off pathogens, but drought weakens them too much.

Other denizens of the forest are struggling, too. Amphibians here and elsewhere aren’t just going to be seeing more of their habitat dry up, but they’re also feeling more pressure from fungal infections and other pathogens. And last year the mycelium of many fungi dried out so badly in the heat that we had a terrible fall mushroom season; fungi need a certain level of hydration to be able to move the nutrients required to build the mushrooms.

I wish I could tell you there were sure fixes for tree die-back and other environmental ills. Unfortunately, even a basic understanding of climate change makes it clear that this is a massive, multi-faceted problem compounded by other environmental destruction. There are plenty of people trying to pick this massive Gordian knot apart, but it’s going to take time, and for those of us alive right now climate change mitigation is more likely than total reversal.

But–sometimes the best thing one single person can do is tug at an individual thread. And sometimes that can make a difference on a local, personal level. For example, arborists suggest that if you have a small number of vulnerable trees in your yard, you may be able to help them get through the drought with supplemental watering. Planting more native trees is still a valid way to help, too! Your young seedlings and saplings may also need some extra water each summer, but even if only some of them survive further tree die-back that’s still more trees than there were before. Just make sure you’re planting them in appropriate ecosystems!

Since I mentioned them earlier, amphibians and other wildlife can benefit from the preservation and restoration of their habitat, even small patches of wetlands and other cool, damp places. If you’re feeling ambitious and have the opportunity, building a small pond and surrounding it with native plants may offer frogs and salamanders a safe place to spawn and rest.

Even if you don’t have a yard or can’t take on a project at home, see if any local municipal, county, or nonprofit organizations need volunteers for habitat restoration projects in your area. Biodiversity centered on native species is one of the best ways to help an ecosystem weather harsh changes; even if one species is struggling, another native species in the ecosystem may be able to take up some of the slack and still support the overall web of interrelationships. Removing invasive species is quite possibly one of the best ways to prepare an ecosystem for the onslaught of climate change. And not every member of a given species is going to drop dead instantly; a healthy population of a species can handle some mortality and still reproduce enough to keep going. Habitat restoration is key to both bolstering biodiversity and increasing population numbers of the species themselves. That’s going to help the trees, the fungi, the amphibians, and everyone else, too.

Finally, it’s important to keep taking care of yourself. You can’t be a good steward to the nature around you if you’re so tired and depressed that you can barely get out of bed. The stress of climate change, sociopolitical turmoil, and interpersonal issues, among other things, is enough to have knocked a lot of people down; even I have days where my optimism gets tarnished and worn. So please don’t feel bad if you just can’t muster the time, energy, or other resources to “go save the world.” Do your best to get that self-care going, even if it’s just the bare bones, and no need to feel guilty, either.

One thing I find helps a lot when I’m feeling down about, well, everything is to take Mr. Rogers’ advice and look for the helpers. The news is full of negativity because that’s what gets clicks. But I try to focus on ways people are trying to improve things. Sometimes amid the scary headlines I do find stories of scientific breakthroughs that can help curb climate change symptoms, or other environmental success stories. I consider that in spite of the unwieldiness of large, governmental bodies, there are people within federal, state, and other public entities who are doing their best to use the resources available to them to do some good in the world. I also reconnect with individual people I know who are trying to make the world a better place, even in very small ways, and I remember that quite often the changes that are helping are too quiet and unobtrusive to make it into the media. Or, as Tolkien said via Gandalf the Grey: “I have found that it is the small everyday deed of ordinary folks that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love.”

And I walk outside, where there are still many Sitka spruce in view. A few of them still show damaged branches from previous heat waves, but they persist in spite of that. In the weeks to come, the tips of their branches will start growing bright green new growth for the year. I can’t promise them that I can save every single one in the next tree die-back, but it reaffirms for me that I still have many reasons to keep fighting.

Did you enjoy this post? Consider taking one of my online foraging and natural history classes or hiring me for a guided nature tour, checking out my other articles, or picking up a paperback or ebook I’ve written! You can even buy me a coffee here!

[jonnysinsectcatalogue]

Seven-Spotted Ladybug - Coccinella septempunctata

Let’s give these little spotted gems some love and appreciation. I’ve been a little busy with their smaller and more unknown relatives, but now it’s their turn for the spotlight. There’s been quite a few Seven-Spotted Ladybugs throughout the years, so I’ve found them on many a plant. Large-sized as far as Ladybugs go, they’re easy to spot walking on plants or flying through the air. Don’t swoop down on them if you plan to pick them up; you can coax them onto your hand if you place your fingers nearby or if they land on your clothing. Similar to the Asian Ladybug (or Ladybugs in general for the matter), if frightened or agitated they will emit their smelly and noxious-tasting hemolymph defense to try and escape. Also like Asian Ladybugs, looks like that Seven-Spotted Ladybugs appear red or orange! Keep your palm open and don’t let them feel trapped and the worst they’ll do is draw their legs under their shell to protect them. In my experience they’ll roam on your hand for sometime before eventually flying away or suddenly dropping into the grass below. It’s just what they do to escape the occasional spell of danger since they’re used to feasting on soft-bodied insects with little difficulty...unless Ants are on patrol of course.

I’ve mentioned in posts with other insects that Ants like to tend to honeydew producing insects, offering protection in exchange for that delicious liquid. Now, if honeydew is so tantalizing, couldn’t Ladybug larvae or adults just eat the honeydew? To answer, kind of. The larvae need protein and carbohydrates to grow and molt to their adult forms. so soft-bodied insects are the priority (unless it’s Ladybug that only eats plants such as those of the Epilachna genus). Plus, they get honeydew when they eat the insects anyway. It’s a win-win! Since the adult Beetles can unfold their wings and fly around, they can be more open to other food sources such as honeydew, fruits, pollen and even fungi, depending on the specie. Soft-bodied insects are still best, but there are nutrients from the aforementioned sources that are also beneficial to a Ladybug’s overall health. Looking into it further, nutritional content of soft-bodied insects may vary due to which plant(s) they feed on. These extra food sources have also shown to be especially valued when prey items become more scarce. If only I’d thought to pay closer attention to the individual photographed in September. These diligent creatures need to do everything they can to stay healthy if it means surviving an overwinter or migrating. 

Pictures were taken on June 2 and 27; July 12; September 21, 2020 and June 13, 2021 with a Google Pixel 4.

[nighmares-art-and-stories]

Memoir - Elephant

This is an unexpected event. One that has taught me much about myself and the world around me.

I entered the grand gated zoo. It was one of the biggest zoos in all of China. Two majestic bronze tigers guarded the entrance. Each had a paw an embroidered silver ball. Their lips are pulled back in a roar as their sharp eyes gleamed yellow in the piercing sun. Impatient clouds danced across the sky. Fans posted on poles whirred angrily; the bee-like hum filling the air. My dad was with me at that time. The wind played with his almond-black hair as we walked.

“Squawk, Rerfff, Squawwk” The fiery sunset colored flamingos were yelling at each other, haggling over who has the best feathers and feed.

“Do you want to feed them?” The sound of my dad’s deep rumble startled me out of careful observations.

“Sure, why not?”

We quickly paid the money and went inside. The birds flapped their massive ruby colored wings in our faces and plunged their beaks in the cups that are filled with feed. Several more flamingos rushed at us and jumped on my dad’s arm. Beaks flashed as they ripped feathers from each other’s neck.

We walked and looked in the exhibits, the animals frolicked in the pools and chased the pigeons away from their food. Lions roared, and the prey animals crowded in a corner. Poor prey creatures, they are frightened by all the noise and the roaring lions. You could see that in their eyes.

Bikes zipped around and sang a robotic “twinkle-twinkle little star” every time someone was blocking their path. It was chaotic but at the same time very orderly. We walked our way to the elephant exhibit, dodging several bikes. This was very annoying; my dad yelled and waved his fist at a few people that didn’t put on the mechanical song. I couldn’t blame them. That mechanical song sounded like someone have messed with the radio so that instead of the normal songs and the news people talk, it sounds like two broken plates rubbing against each other.

I was being a complete nerd, lecturing about animals and their genus, habitats, and behavior. My dad listened quietly to my rambling and lecturing. His thoughts somewhere else in his mind. I can’t blame him; his job is quite energy-sapping.

The trees have cast the shadows on the sidewalk. Providing the much-needed relief to the scorching overhead sun. Birds chirped and hopped in the shadows of the trees. Peacocks strutted to the patches of sun and fanned out their massive tails. The catching the sun and spilling the light like green-gold diamonds

We walked to the elephant exhibit. Two elephants were playing in the mud; trees with spray hoses created a majestic waterfall. Several elephants were using their trunks to gather the water from the waterfall and drinking it. Around the corner, there are two elephants performing tricks. A large crowd is gathered around the performing elephants. One of them turned around and around in great circles; the other walked on its hind legs the trainer threw buckets and buckets of sliced apples, carrots, and other goods at them. They stopped to pick the treats up and walked away. Walking off the performing stage they went straight for the mud-pool and started to fling mud at the elephants under the mechanical waterfall. The mud splattered all over them, creating a gloopy brown and grey blob with small beady eyes. Everyone in the crowd laughed. The elephant then washed the mud off and charged at the elephants playing in the mud-pool. They flung mud everywhere and soon a full-blown mud-fight ensued.

We walked off at this point.  Behind the mud-fighting elephants, there is a large petting place. There you can feed zebras, ride camels, pet ostriches and fish for goldfish and many more. At each exhibit, there is a long, complicated line of people at every event. All of the people there were craning their necks to see what was happening.

I saw the elephant ride and my eyes gleamed. An elephant ride. That will be quite interesting, I never rode an elephant before, except when I was 3 but that was a long time ago. My dad saw my eyes gleam at the elephant ride and asked,

“Do you want to ride the elephant?”

“Yep!”

 I ran off to the ticket stand in the middle of the petting place; My dad jogging behind me.

“How much does riding the elephant cost?” I said when I reached the ticket stand.

“It costs 20 yuan.” The keeper replied cheerfully.

At this point, my dad ambled up next to me and gave the 20 yuan to the keeper.

We got the ticket and stepped in line. The excitement is contagious, soon I was jumping up and down like some over-excited toddler every time a lion roars or an ostrich booms at some zookeeper. The line got shorter and shorter I felt the impatience grow stronger and stronger until… it’s my turn!

I hopped to the stand and climbed on a peaceful-minded elephant. The thick hide is warm and gave off the sweet smell of lion-grass and fresh leaves. Its strong shoulders moved under my legs. We ambled across the muddy track there were carrots everywhere for the trainers have tossed them to the ground to encourage the elephant to move on.  That’s a wonderful way to do that, these elephants will have to be starving if there aren’t any snacks. Plus, this brings some fun to the elephants who walk around the track so many times.  

I looked around the place for a little bit. There is an artificial tree in the center of the enclosure. There are small black nubs that let out a hissing sound as it sprays a fine mist in the enclosure. My dad stands on the little photo-taking stand, a bright smile on his face as he snaps away; the camera flashing brilliant light.

The elephant ambled off the path to a drinking pool. It sucked in a trunk full of water and sprayed it all over me and its sides till we are dripping wet with water and some elephant boogers. Then it began to drink the water in the pool. That strong trunk rapidly sucked in water and sprayed it in his gaping mouth. In the time I took to say mouse, that elephant has gulped down three trunksful of water.

The elephant has finished and looked at me with its beady eyes as if saying “Are you ready?”

“Yep, I’m ready.” 

That have gotten quite a few confused and weird looks from the people in the stands. After all, it’s not every day you hear some teenager talk to an elephant. The elephant once hearing that I was ready to move on started it’s way to the main path. In the corner of my eye, the elephant behind me charges and at the same time let out a loud, ground rumbling trumpet. Then without much warning, the elephant behind me charged. The elephant that I was riding sat on the ground and wouldn’t budge. Fear, like lightning, flooded through me. The people on the stands stepped back. Shock and anger flooded their eyes. My dad looked like he was about to jump into the enclosure to get me out of that fight. Dozens of trainers used dusty dusters and threw carrots as an attempt to distract the two elephants to stop fighting. 

Somehow, despite the jostling, I’ve stayed on the elephant that I was riding. The elephant, clearly spooked by this attack has run on the track in wild stops and starts every time a trainer approaches. The eyes of the elephant buggy. Calming down, it has stopped and following the fluff-on-a-stick walked to the stand. 

There my dad was waiting. He grabbed my arm and hauled me off of that elephant. He is shaking but it’s hard to tell. His eyes have given his worry, fear, and anger away though. He quickly patted my arms and legs to make sure that I haven’t somehow got bruised.

“I’m ok, Dad.”

“What if you aren’t.”

“Well, the what if didn’t happen, so stop worrying!”

We walked off. Even though the people in the stands saw that attack, they still continued to ride the elephants as if nothing had happened. Are they all mouse-brains? Still riding the elephants even after that attack? I half-expected them to all run to some other part of the zoo.

We walked on. My dad still fuming over the attack and how “irresponsible” the zookeepers are. We looked at some monkeys and birds. Eventually, we have walked out of the zoo.

Boy, that was one interesting day!

Taglist:

@alaralee

[squirmydonnie]

Stimming story: this is um from my life. It's a vent but also not because I wanted to write

CW/ TW: Possible Ableism, Bullying

The person I know was a friend. In 3rd grade I was sitting at my table and there was a knock on the door. I girl with short blonde hair came up to the front and was introduced to the class. She skipped 2nd grade and had been moved to 3rd grade.

Me and the people at my table we very excited to see her. When the teacher asked whether anyone wanted her at their table, we sprung up very excited, screaming, hoping she'd sit there.

She sat right next to me.

Later on I found her to be very interesting and fun to be around. She told me about the book Warrior Cats and the way things work in the book. I have never actually read the book. I didn't have the attention span for it. Eventually she taught me a new animal I had never heard of. The animal was called a genet. I was the genet, KindHeart and she was the hyena, ForgottenSpirit.

She made sure everyone knew she should be learning bigger and better things because she already knew was a genus was. I learned how smart she really was and began to be confused as to why she was there as well.

In the lunch line she was stimming with her hands. They made these really amazing noises when she did it. It was like she was snapping and swaying her hands at the same time.

I asked her what she was doing one day and she explained she does this because it makes her feel better. I started to participate in the way and it made me feel so much better. It heightened my happiness.

My parents were starting to catch on to my behavior and brought me into their room. The asked me why I was doing this. I told them it was because of the girl. I saw doing in the lunch line and I wanted to do it to. They told me that I didn't have to do that just because my friend was doing it.

I very seriously told them I wasn't.

I stopped doing it as often. Now the girl is just a a street away from me and I've yet to visit her, since her birthday party a week or 2 ago.

I'm quite frightened about visiting again. I feel as though I can't keep my energy up and I have nothing to say.

I'm scared. I'm not sure fully why. I have some idea but scared is a big jump from once being so comfortable. She can be a little specific about things but she was never mean to me like my non-bully bully. And I suppose we're both friends with her. I guess my NBB never got under their skin. But to be fair they weren't around them as much and they have always been a tough person.

[missuscislunar]

Hoshi*ga*Hoshii Sparkles Again

In today's issue, we are lucky enough to sit down with one of the most popular Venusian musicians, Hoshi*ga*Hoshii. We get to hear more about her new release The Sun Glares at You along with her past and future. Please enjoy this illustrious interview!

Thanks so much for meeting with us Hoshi!

Thank you for having me. It is always a pleasure with Cadenza.

First things first, congrats on the new album! It's a little different from your usual sound.

That's what most critics are describing, aren't they? I'm not sure if I truly understand what is different about it. What, pray tell, makes this one different than the others?

Ah well...uh...

Don't worry--I'm quite patient and tolerant of criticism.

Oh no! It's nothing negative at all! I'm just nervous describing your own music back to you.

A fair fear, but needless. I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to know your thoughts. Music is one of the many ways we can connect with each other without touch. It is something that startles and comforts us. Your thoughts may mirror mine, and I am curious if we have that connection.

That does ease my nerves, thank you. One thing I can say is you seem to have gone for a slower tempo for most of the songs on this album. I remember your debut album was quite fast paced.

Ah, is that why people find this one so different? I can agree I am much more reflective than I was when I first started. I was eager to prove myself after several denials from agents and labels. I could feel my dream of performing on stage so close to my fingertips and always falling before I could grab it. Those days were tough. I felt very foolish for leaving my previous occupation to run after a frankly frightening goal.

What was your previous job if you don't mind me asking.

I was a professor in mathematics and astral predictability at Aphrodite's University on Venus.

Wait, that's one of the most prestigious universities in the solar system.

I was very close to reaching tenure when I left. At the time, I was kicking myself for leaving. My dear students wished for me to become a singer. Their faith in me provided faith in my own abilities. Some were able to come to my first concert. There were several times I was close to laughing on stage due to their enthusiasm.

I'm sure any student would go wild over their math professor becoming a major performer.

That is a true assessment!

That explains a lot of the mathematics referenced in your lyrics as well, right?

You are correct. I tried to steer away from it when writing, but theories always have a way of weaving themselves back into my work. In this album, I focused more on Earthling mathematics. I found their thinking quite interesting.

Speaking of Earthlings, this will be their first time experiencing an album release from you! Do you have any things to share about yourself or Venusian culture for them?

It is a shame it has taken Earth this long to connect with the rest of the solar system, but most of their kind have adapted quite well with our societies haven't they? As for Venusians, one thing that comes to mind is our skin tones. We run at pretty high temperatures like our home planet, and our skin can change color due to the heat within us. Some of my people are fully different colors like pink or blue, and some are like myself with colors on different parts of our bodies. There are even some who can only change when they feel a strong emotion or randomly during a sneeze.

As you can see, my arms and legs gradually change to dark blue. I am lucky to have flickers of glitter on my skin so it truly looks like the galaxy is on my person.

Thank you for your explanation! I suppose it makes sense to ask you--weren't you recently voted as the Vision of Venus for the fourth time?

That is true! I never expect to receive such an honor as there are others who are equally as deserving of such a title. Not to play into stereotypes, but Venusians are very particular about aesthetics so I am genuinely surprised when we are able to come together about an opinion.

With you, I believe your people will always have a positive opinion. For example, your signature outfit for this tour has been trending for days now!

I'm also quite fond of it! I usually don't perform in long gowns because I dance a lot on stage. However, I broke my ankle and couldn't move. The gown we decided to be the signature outfit was one that my stylist had been eyeing for an event. After my injury, they decided this would be the best time to use it. Fate had their eyes on this situation it would seem.

We hope you have a speedy recovery!

Thank you. I have been faring well, but I am eager to move more on stage. Seeing my background dancers makes me quite envious. I want to join them.

Your performances so far have been equally electrifying! I genuinely didn't know you were injured until now.

That is the most pleasing news to hear. I cherish my time on stage, so I put all of my effort into it.

Thank you so much for spending time with us today, Hoshi! As always you bring a calmness that is unlike any other. Any last comments for your fans?

Thank you as well for you time, Cadenza. For the readers, may your skies be filled with stars. As you see them above, they will guide you to your dreams and wishes.

--Cadenza Magazine

[performing-personhood]

Ok so while I haven't made this precise recipe, my bestie and her Ma make something I would taxonomically classify as within the same genus. They call it "Hooch" and friends and enemies it is, in fact, the most dangerous alcohol I have ever encountered.

Let me tell you how they make it!

You'll need:

Stone fruit of your choice (I'm sure this works with other fruits, but I have no experience with that so ymmv)

An extremely, scrupulously clean 5 gallon bucket (or whatever your country's equivalent is)(I would use something like StarSan for this, which you can get at your local homebrewer's supply store, but you're going to be fermenting so just ensure that whatever you're using has been both completely sterilized and is also food safe.)

5lbs of white sugar

Like two handles of the cheapest, highest proof vodka you can get your hands on. (I'm talking "there is no way that's fully safe for human consumption" cheap. Like stuff you'd rather clean with than drink, but can still technically consume. Not everclear, don't fucking do that.)

Roughly six weeks

Gather up roughly idk, half a 5gal bucket of whatever stone fruit you fancy; My bestie and her Ma, they use wild plums because they grow on Ma's hobby ranch. Score each one all the way around with a knife and throw em in the - I'm gonna say it again because this is real important - painstakingly clean bucket.

Cover the entire pile with white sugar. Then add all that vodka, and give the entire affair a good stir.

Now cover the bucket. Loosely. You don't want anything to be able to get into it, but you also need it to not be airtight lest you make a very sticky bomb. If your bucket came with a lid, just rest that puppy on the top and that'll be sufficient.

Put your bucket into an accessible but out of the way dark place with a stable temperature - a mechanical room or big pantry works nicely but whatever you've got is fine.

Once a week, stir the whole business really really well.

After about six weeks, give it a taste. It should taste like fruit juice and not the eyewatering burn of cheap vodka, if it's still a little "hot" just keep on fermenting it for another couple of weeks and check back in.

Serve it in the smallest possible glasses you can find, I'm so not kidding about that. It does not taste alcoholic at all in a way that should frighten you to think about too hard.

The Official Star Trek Cooking Manual recipe for Saurian Brandy. Someone please make some and tell me how it turns out!

[ixchel-anima]

* OPM MANGA AND WEBCOMIC SPOILERS *

*

*

*

... I know it's a ways off story wise and not the greatest concern either way, but I am wondering now as Zombieman didn't witness the serious table flip if he'll make the same decision to try and break his limiter as in the webcomic

[bogleech]

Hey, thanks so much for recommending Nope! It's now one of my new all-time favorite movies!

To celebrate, I elected to stat up the star of the film in Savage Worlds.

(Spoilers for those who have yet to see it.)

@Jean Jacket

Description:

Kingdom: Animalia.

Phylum: Nubaria, “of the clouds.”

Class: Oblatozoa, “oblate shaped animal.”

Order: Suctoforamina, “window of suction.”

Family: Verispellidae, “shapeshifter.”

Genus: Occulonimbus, “dark cloud”

Species: Occulonimbus edoequus, “Dark Cloud Stallion Eater”

Immense. Awe-inspiring. Fast. Territorial. Hungry. The animal known as Jean Jacket is all of these things and more.

Don't look at it.

Attributes: Agility d12, Smarts d8 (A), Spirit d8, Strength d12+12, Vigor d12

Skills: Athletics d10, Notice d12, Stealth d12

Pace: -; Parry: 2; Toughness: 20

Special Abilities:

All-Around Vision: Jean Jacket's method of sight is unknown, but it can see in all directions, even “behind” it.

Cloud Cover: By expelling a gaseous vapor, Jean Jacket can perfectly disguise itself as a cloud, recognizable only in that it hovers perfectly still as it does so. Rolls to Notice it in this form suffer a -4 penalty as long as it stays still.

Crush: A single attack made against all of its captured prey. Automatically hits. Range 0, Strength in damage.

Anti-Electrical Field: For some unknown reason, though speculated to be electromagnetism related to its ability to fly, Jean Jacket's very presence powers down all electronic devices within 400 meters (200”). They whir back to life the instant the monster leaves the area.

Fear: Jean Jacket's sheer size and speed is horrifying, even moreso when it is unfurled. All who see it must make a Spirit roll to avoid being Frightened. The roll is made at -2 if it recently ate, as the screams of its victims are amplified and carry well on the wind.

Flight: Capable of chasing down a riding horse, Jean Jacket has a flying speed of 90” (60 MPH). -1 penalty to hit. It is always able to hover.

Gas Bag: The trouble of harming Jean Jacket stems not from armor, but from a sheer lack of anything to harm. Called Shots do no extra damage, but explosive attacks deal double damage.

Size 12 (Gargantuan): Jean Jacket measures 110 meters in diameter and 20 meters thick at its widest point while hunting, but its form, while large and imposing, is mostly hot air. +6 to hit, but only Heavy Weapons can hurt it. (Average of +5 combined with Flight.)

Spit: Athletics roll to hit. d4-d10 damage, depending on size of the object. Range is 12/24/48. The indigestible bits of Jean Jacket's meals are often shot back down at the ground at high enough velocities to embed themselves in flesh and wood, but rarely do enough damage to kill.

Swallow Whole: All those devoured by the massive, flying predator's mouth find themselves trapped in a hot, suffocating, claustrophobic gut. At the end of each turn, any creature inside must make a Vigor roll at -2 to avoid taking a wound from the crushing and acid. The roll is instead made at +4 if Jean Jacket's stomach is blocked by something.

Vacuum: Jean Jacket's primary method of capturing prey. Everyone within a medium blast template (if directly above) or in a cone template (if coming at an angle) must make a Strength check at -4 to avoid being inhaled and immediately Swallowed Whole. Creatures that are Large make the roll at -2 and Huge make the roll with no penalty. Gargantuan creatures are immune to this suction. If Jean Jacket is Shaken or Wounded in the same round that it vacuumed up a creature, that creature is automatically spat back out.

(For those who don't play Savage Worlds, Jean Jacket is a bit of a glass cannon for its size, as well as a one-trick pony, but anything it vacuums up is going to be dead in a round or two, tops. I wasn't sure how to balance the speed since horses are statted much slower for tactical play, so I went with the IRL top speed of 55 MPH for reference. To balance against the horse stats in the core rules, reduce the flight speed's to 12-18 tabletop inches (24-36 yards/meters per turn) and allow it to "run.")

I've never played and can still tell how well this is adapted!

[diilchasp]

The perspective of “Asylum” is one of reversal—the speaker is lying on an examination table in what we would consider a passive position, yet the agency of the scene is all theirs. The situation evokes Jean-Paul Sartre’s famous line “Freedom is what you do after what’s been done to you.” The speaker chooses to acknowledge “the instruments that tell me / what I am made of” and to love them and to document that love.

Valuing’s epigraph is borrowed from the twentieth-century philosopher and theologian Simone Weil. Appearing a page-turn before “Asylum,” the epigraph reads:

Everything without exception which is of value in me comes from somewhere other than myself, not as a gift but as a loan which must be ceaselessly renewed.

Weil, whose writing mines the intersections of mysticism, physics, and ethics, is a fitting spirit to have preside over the poems in Valuing, which hinge on claims of linguistic logic, and yet, whose conceptual touchstones of mystery and love transcend what we commonly think of as logical or rational. It is the patient on the table in “Asylum” that offers Kondrich’s reader the purest instance of intention and will:

I choose to value. I choose to love as asylum from that which presses me to hate. This body, which is not a body. This representation, which is all there is. I have a choice in the matter. To touch you, I choose my hands.

Who is this I of this poem, and where does their choice and conviction to love come from? It is a question of both content and form. In her new lecture-essay collection Animal(Wave Books, 2019), the poet Dorothea Lasky introduces the critical term “the metaphysical I.” Lasky writes:

The best gift that a poet can give is to allow their I to be its own cool animal. . . . The metaphysical I is not a new idea really, just maybe a new term. I define this I as a wild, lyric I, one that has no center and has no way to predict where it will go. An Ithat is a shapeshifter. A persona that uses unexpected language and imagery, that is inconsistent, frightening, funny, and beyond the idea of a singular self.

Lasky’s metaphysical I reverberates in the poetry of Kondrich’s Valuing: in the narrative generosity of the collection’s multiplicitous I and its shifting (and seriously playful) grammar, and in Weil’s epigraph and the reminder of the self’s many loans “which must be ceaselessly renewed.” There’s something intrinsically generative (sharing the Latin root genus, with generous) about the metaphysical I too. As Lasky asserts, “I want to not just recreate this world through poetry. I want a never-ending, generative universe that poetry can help create.” In the generous, powerful words of Kondrich’s speaker in “Asylum,” “I choose to value.”

Valuing attends deeply to language play, and in the collection’s poems, signifier and signified are ever-complicated by that which poetry does best: metaphor—a kind of higher-valuing. The reader can imagine a building or a physical place called an “asylum,” but the poem also signals a metaphorical haven, folded into an act of self-preservation (“I choose to love / as asylum”). 

-----

CHRISTOPHER KONDRICH: One of the earliest influences on these poems is Allen Grossman, who, in the essay “Hard Problems in Poetry, Especially Valuing,” writes that “[t]he action of loving expresses the intention to value anything. So I must in order to think about valuing think about love.” Say what you will about the loftiness and opacity of Grossman’s various philosophies, but I find much of it really moving, and the notion of loving, appreciating, cherishing, and stewarding something or someone as intrinsic to writing poems struck a chord with me. It still does. I want to send as much love as I can into the world while I’m alive. I want to be a good person, but how do I sustain this while also navigating the complex systems of violence, oppression, inequality, and environmental degradation I am complicit in — whether I like it or not, whether I’m aware of it or not — as a citizen of this country. Or, as I write in “Black Paintings,” which meditates on and spirals out from Goya’s infamous works: “person, what are you but your ration for today / of things happening without your knowledge, in your name?”

Being a loving or good person, though, isn’t something you suddenly are one day and never have to do anything about ever again. Nor is it, given the many avenues of hate and neglect and damage our social and political systems present us with on a daily basis, something you can just stumble into, hoping for the best. It requires “the volitional autonomy of the person,” as Grossman writes in that same essay, or at least the illusion (or is it delusion) that such “volitional autonomy” exists.

Christopher Kondrich, “Asylum”

[perperam]

Do you have any Harlivy fic recommendations? Preferably something that is already completed?

OH I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE

okay okay so quick little tangent fact !! I actually just finished my undergrad degree in "english literature analysis & writing" and reading fics is so fun bc I get to analyze them and break them down and if it's particularly well written the stars align and it's just UGH so good. 

ratings are: E (explicit) M (mature) T (teens and up) and G (everyone) anyways here is a HUGE list of my favorite fics to date, their stats/details/plots, reasonings as to why they're on the list to begin with, and a short analysis:

SHORT STORIES (less than 30k words)

for your convenience they’re in order of length bc I’m focusing on this super hard rn

KISS YOUR BEST FRIEND CHALLENGE (T)  STATS — 340 words, shenanigans, fluff PLOT — Harley, TikTok and general Social Media queen, decides to do the trending challenge to kiss your best friend. The best friend? Her roommate and the woman she’s been crushing on for fucking ever: Poison Ivy.

AM I TOO CLOSE? (CAUSE YOU FOLD INTO ME LIKE A HEART WITH A BEAT) (G) STATS — 839 words, fluff, shenanigans PLOT — Harley genuinely wasn’t looking for trouble, but it’s hard to just have a day out when you’re one of Gotham’s most wanted. Running into Ivy, she takes drastic measures (and her hoodie into the mix) to distract the police from looking in their direction.

I’M HOME (G) STATS — 892 words, domestic fluff PLOT — After a long and rough day at work, Ivy comes home to Harley. Relaying the details of her day, she basks in the comfort of her girlfriend, who provides gentle questions and is a phenomenal listener. General cuteness.

CONFLICT DIAMONDS (G) STATS — 990 words, wedding shenanigans, banter, humor PLOT — Batman and Renee Montoya respond to a break-in at a jewelry store, except even though the owner is duct-taped to the wall, it isn’t really a break-in; Harley’s just trying to shop for a ring for Ivy, and that’s difficult to do when the owner is screaming in the corner. Batman and Renee both pitch in to help pick something nice for Harley’s girl, resulting in hilarious banter.

OF COURSE (T) STATS — 1.1k words, hurt/comfort (kinda), harley quinn animated tv show centric PLOT — In the aftermath of Ivy’s death, rebirth, and the fall of Joker Tower, Harley collapses onto the ground. Since she never mentioned that her parents are the reason for most of her injuries, Ivy isn’t sure why she’s so out of it.

PERFECT MORNINGS (T) STATS — 1.1k words, domestic fluff/bliss PLOT — Ivy, who usually wakes up early and before Harley, takes a moment to look at the countless muscles, ridges, scars, and tattoos on Harley’s body as she sleeps. General cuteness.

I’D LOVE TO CHECK YOU OUT (T) STATS — 1.7k words, university au, fluff PLOT — Harley visits the library virtually every day, and it’s definitely not because she needs to work on her university courses and homework. She finally works up the courage to speak to the alluring redhead she sees there every day while absentmindedly looking at a book on sharks. 

I’LL LOVE YOU IN THE MORNING (NOON, NIGHT) (T) STATS — 2.1k words, angst, hurt/comfort PLOT — A snapshot look into Ivy and how she comes to know, care, and love all the sides of Harley—from psychiatrist to criminal to girlfriend. She loves her throughout it all. 

DAY-DREAMING (T) STATS — 2.2k words, shenanigans, psychiatrist Harleen PLOT — Ivy’s falling for her psychiatrist—her humorous, intelligent, caring, and downright gorgeous psychiatrist. It’s difficult, to say the least.

WHAT HAPPENS IN THEMYSCIRA (DOESN’T) STAY IN THEMYSCIRA (T) STATS — 2.3k words, humor, wedding shenanigans, angst with a happy ending PLOT — In a surprise twist of events, Harley and Ivy were drunkenly married at Themyscira. When asked at the wedding if anybody had objections to the union of Ivy and Chuck, Wonder Woman and the Queen of Themyscira herself come to object. Ivy, for lack of a better word, wants to die a little.

NOT A ROCKER CHICK (T) STATS — 3.1k words, rock band au, fluff PLOT — The last thing Ivy wants to do is go to a rock band concert with her best friend, Selina. Despite her best efforts, she can’t help but completely fall into the rhythm of the band and their music, so different than her own norm. And okay, maybe the singer (who Selina was friends with and called “Harley”) was also kinda hot...

A TENDER HEART AMONG THE GREEN (T) STATS — 3.2k words, gotham city sirens raise Lucy au, domestic bliss PLOT — Harley and Selina come back home to the apartment to find Ivy passed out asleep with Lucy cuddling into the crook of her neck and Selina’s cats cuddling her legs. Knowing that Ivy would rather be caught dead than in such a compromising situation (after all, she is the Poison Ivy, who “hates humans”) the two take a photo, since it lasts longer. Shenanigans and cuteness ensue.

BUILDING YOUR GIRL’S SECOND STORY (M) STATS — 3.3k words, university/grad school au, angst with a happy ending PLOT — Snapshots of Harley’s battle with her violent and abusive boyfriend, Jack, and the way in which Bruce, his boyfriend Clark, and her best friend (and potentially lover) Pamela all love Harley and will do anything, anything, to make sure she gets the help, care, and love she needs.

A DIFFERENT KIND OF NORMAL (T) STATS — 3.6k words, coronavirus pandemic/quarantine au, family au PLOT — Ivy is requested by the Justice League to help create and manufacture a vaccine for the COVID-19 virus. As she works on the vaccine, she video calls Harley and their daughter Lucy, both of whom miss her very much. 

RABBIT IN THE GARDEN (T) STATS — 4.4k words, implied suicide attempt, hard angst PLOT — Winters are difficult to Ivy. When Harley comes home one day to see her submerged fully in water in the bathtub, the only thing Harley can do is cry and take her out. Ultimately Ivy is alright—but it doesn’t make it any easier.

WE WILL BE (EVERYTHING THAT WE’D EVER NEED) (T) STATS — 5.8k words, high school au, angst, hurt/comfort PLOT — Harley and Ivy are best friends from high school, living in the middle of Arizona. Ivy is absolutely head over heels for Harley, but the latter is in a growing and increasingly abusive relationship with the older “bad-boy” (literally) Jack. Eventually, the two grow together in more ways than one.  

WHERE THE RED FERN GROWS (EXCEPT NO DOGS DIE) (M) STATS — 9.7k words, domestic bliss, no powers just botanist & psychiatrist au PLOT — After her abusive ex-boyfriend tries to maniacally tear down the front door of her apartment with an ax as her best friend, Selina, pushes the table against the splintering wood, Bruce recommends that Harley gets a dog. She gets two German Shepard brothers—Bud and Lou—who lead her one day on their walk to the most beautiful flower shop owner Harley’s ever seen. The story of Harley and Ivy, told with Bud and Lou present to witness every moment.

THE MOMENT I AWAKEN GHOSTS (T) STATS — 11.7k words, falling in love, feelings & realizations PLOT — A deep look into Ivy’s feelings and how they evolve from general hatred against Harleen the psychiatrist at Arkham to a blooming, kind and gentle love towards Harley Quinn, the crown jester of crime. 

HARLEQUIN’S ISLE (T) STATS — 17.5k words, hurt/comfort, happy ending, shenanigans, humor PLOT — Harley and Ivy decide to go on a vacation on Bruce Wayne’s new eco-friendly plane, but in a surprise twist of events, things go terribly wrong, Ivy falls out of the plane, and the two (as well as all the other rich and wealthy big-name CEOS on the plane) get stranded on an island with someone actively trying to rob the investors. Harley and Ivy will fight them, god damn it, because they deserve this vacation and they will have it.

LONGER STORIES (30k words to 100k words)

YOUR LOVE (DÉJÀ VU) (G) STATS — 33k words, slow burn, mild angst, canon divergence PLOT — A what-if-Harley-found-Ivy-first fic, YOUR LOVE wonderfully illustrates Dr. Harleen Quinzel treating Ivy in a wonderfully humane and kind way, including learning floriography, the language of flowers, in order to better relate to her. Ivy is taken aback by her doctor's genuine care and begins to develop feelings, all the while Harleen falls hard and fast which wholly confuses and frightens her. The one caveat is that while this is happening, Harleen is also treating the Joker as well, who tries (keyword: tries) to manipulate her. Ivy and Harley dance a timid tango around one another as they try to navigate this new playing field of romantic feelings for one another, and things come to a breaking point when Harleen realizes that, perhaps, all of her patients have a point and that the real villains are not the ones inside the asylum, but rather the ones running it. FAVORITE DETAILS — I just love the way this is written. It provides a wonderful and almost skinny-love like romance (except this takes place in an insane asylum) as Harleen and Ivy both try to understand their strong feelings for one another. The way in which the rogues and other inmates/patients all look out for one another was very heartwarming, and Waylon and Eddie's thinly veiled camaraderie with Ivy—and her thinly veiled appreciation for it—were both lovely and created a really warm environment. It really underlined why Harley loved them because you love them too in the process, and see how she reaches her breaking point.  CHARACTER DEPICTIONS — Harley, as she is in all of my favorite fics, is depicted as an incredibly intelligent and talented psychiatrist. Her caring nature is wonderfully outlined in this fic as she helps Waylon, Eddie, Ivy, and everybody else in the asylum be treated with genuine respect and care, going as far as to get them personalized gifts. Her psyche fracturing slowly never once makes her seem unintelligent to the reader, even as she actively places a ditz persona in order to fool the rest of the asylum staff (and the Joker). Ivy, on the other hand, is illustrated in a way that perfectly shows how all she genuinely needed was someone to listen. She's sometimes harsh and crass but you can see how she begins to soften as Harley helps her and treats her with: you guessed it, genuine respect. FINAL VERDICT — I would get this tattooed on my ass if I could

NOVEL LENGTH WORKS (100k+ words)

ACROSS THE WAY (M) STATS — 128.7k words, slow-burn, tattoo artist & flower shop owner au  PLOT — Botanist and flower shop owner Pamela Isley moves to Gotham from Seattle in search of a new life. Her shop is located directly next to a tattoo shop—one that is incredibly loud and bothersome. Upon walking in to give the shop a piece of her mind, she meets one of the resident artsits, Harley Quinzel, and cannot get her out of her mind. The two become best friends, and feelings slowly start to develop. On a night when Harley is most vulnerable and in need of a place to escape, Pam offers her apartment as a refuge, and from that point on things are never the same again (in the best way possible).  FAVORITE DETAILS — The SIT sessions were a wonderful touch and I loved seeing the recovery of both Ivy and Harley, because it was so real. I also loved how once Harley got out, she did everything in her power to protect both herself and Ivy from Jack, and we got to see her and Ivy grow into their wonderful, healthy romance. CHARACTER DEPICTIONS — I love how all of the characters are illustrated; Selina, who is the caring best friend and genuinely does her best to help others around her all the while being her cocky, usual self. Pam, who escaped Seattle and started anew in Gotham and is the crass botanist and also the insanely kind and caring lover. Barbara is the adorable coffee shop owner, Floyd is the caring figure for Harley that she never had, and everyone is just wonderful.  FINAL VERDICT — literally go read this rn, what are you even doing

MAD LOVE: THE BEGINNING & MAD LOVE: THE FINAL CHAPTER (M) STATS — nearly 400k words total, angst, canon divergence, domestic fluff, slice of life PLOT — imagine YOUR LOVE except this is much longer, much more heart-wrenching, a whole lot more angsty, and Harleen's break with Harley is a lot more prevalent. Another what-if scenario of Dr. Harleen Quinzel meeting and treating the illusive Poison Ivy instead of the Joker, MAD LOVE shows an interesting depiction of the way they manipulate, hurt, care, and love one another. The entire story is riddled with well placed metaphors, recurring themes, and both Ivy and Harley's characters are illustrated in the most complex and interesting way. All throughout both the initial and the sequel, Ivy and Harleen play a metaphorical chess game in manipulation as a means to gain the upper-hand on the other, which creates a dangerous foundation for their following love story. In the sequel, "The Final Chapter," the story starts with Harley and Ivy—already married near the end of "A New Beginning"—having two kids and the entire piece spans over Harley's lifetime until she's on her deathbed, with Ivy still stuck at 33 years old beside her. I personally stopped reading the story after Harley died (I was too emotionally vulnerable to continue on) but if you continue reading on, you get to see Ivy move on and appreciate Harley's impact on her life as she finds love and happiness again after the loss of her wife. FAVORITE DETAILS — We get insight into both Ivy and Harleen's trauma, and how not everything can be fixed with love. Neither Harleen nor Ivy (or their actions for that matter) are characterized as perfect in any way, and the story never excuses any of their more-than-questionable actions; in fact they make MANY mistakes and manipulate one another throughout the story, and both have power over the other (Harleen is her psychiatrist, but Ivy could easily kill her, so emotional power over someone with immense physical power). CHARACTER DEPICTIONS — Harleen is depicted as an incredibly intelligent and capable psychiatrist, and the story somehow wonderfully mixes Harley's desire for violent chaos with Harleen's desire to help others. v Ivy is illustrated as the epitome of "I hate you and will not be nice unless you're literally either my wife or kids." She is seldom kind to others, is often crass, but an entire softy when it comes to Harleen and their children. She's a hard worker and is heavily involved in her research. Harleen, on the other hand, is equally cunning but more lighthearted, extremely athletic and active, the "fun" mom, and less into power trips (unless it's about Ivy). FINAL VERDICT — definitely the most interesting fics I've ever read in my entire fucking life, it's so complex and wonderful and a literal minefield of analysis worthy literature, I'd also get this tattooed on my ass if I could

[ggomomomo]

A Different Mask

@felixmonth

Felix Week 2022 Day 4 (Cookie Version) | Kwami Swap

AO3 | Masterlist

"So what's your name?" Sibyll bent down to examine his new suit intently. Her curiosity didn't fade even as she tugged on the rabbit ear on his head and he slapped her hand away.

"Silver," the hero replied calmly, "Derived from the rabbit genus Sylvilagus."

"Huh. Lame but it's alright."

Silver glared. "It's not lame."

In fact, when they had talked about swapping Miraculouses, he had meticulously drafted his hero names in the notes app of his phone. Now that he donned another mask, it felt funny on his skin like he was somehow betraying Plagg (though the little gremlin probably didn't care at all).

He gave Sibyll a similar once-over. "Where's the Fox Miraculous?"

She shrugged. "Haru hasn't given it yet. Heh, I'm sure he's afraid to give it."

"Why?"

Sibyll chuckled mischievously. "'Cause he knows I'm going to cast illusions that'll make everyone in Paris think they're high." She rubbed her chin. "The entire Bee Movie script written in the sky . . . or a big ass rabbit next to the Eiffel Tower, but the head is Bugs Bunny."

An image flickered in his head: a fox Sibyll standing over the rooftops, cackling madly as the Bee Movie script scrolled behind her. ". . . Please never do that."

"I make no promises." Sibyll looked smug—as if the illusions were the best ideas she ever had. "By the way, you can't use Burrow."

Silver stopped in the middle of testing his weapon. "Why not? What's the point of the swap if I can't use the Rabbit's power?"

"You can use the umbrella."

"Sibyll."

"Okay, okay." She sighed, putting her hands on her hips. "Two reasons. First, I may or may not be using the Burrow as my personal hideout and extra storage space—"

"What—"

"And second! Time is extremely fragile. I want to keep other people from accessing multiple timelines as much as possible. There are things you're better off not seeing and events you can never interfere with." She shuddered. "The past and future are equally frightening."

Silver fell into silence to let her words settle. The times when Sibyll would be serious were sporadic, which meant that he wasn't to take her warning lightly. He didn't know what his friend had witnessed in the great unknown but the experiences seemed to continuously change her as a person. "I don't have to enter the timelines. I only want to enter the Burrow."

She glances at one of her watches. "Fine. But I'll supervise."

Silver nodded in agreement and stretched out the arm holding the umbrella. "Burrow!"

The bright portal materialized in front of them, a stark contrast in the cloudy night. They peeked into it at the same time, gaping at the interior.

"What the hell?" Sibyll was first to comment. " My Burrow doesn't look like this."

It was obviously a product of Félix's mind. 'The Burrow' was an old library with gigantic shelves, each filled with hardbound books. A metallic winding staircase led to a mezzanine that held Renaissance paintings and cabinets. The 'portals' to other timelines were glass doors lining the walls (some were trapdoors on the floor as well).

Silver was mesmerized.

"What does your Burrow look like?" He asked Sibyll as they stepped inside. The portal closed behind them.

"Screens. Lots of screens and a huge table with a swivel chair in the middle," she described. "I can click on a screen to view or get into a timeline."

Silver blinked up at the chandelier-adorned ceiling of his Burrow. "I suppose it's different for each holder."

"I guess. Fluff didn't mention this at all."

Silver walked towards a shelf and plucked a book out of it. Flipping through its pages, he found that it was completely empty. He got another book. It was both title-less and wordless. "What's with the books here?" he frowned.

"Ah, I have these empty drawers and blank post-its in my Burrow too." Sibyll looked over his shoulder. "I think it manifests most of what you want for a Burrow but not specific details unless you really consider them."

She stretched her arms, yawning. "Or maybe it's like that so you can log your travels. One of the past holders did that apparently."

"That's . . . convenient." He was still wrapping his mind about bringing a pocket dimension to life with his own subconscious but he told himself he had weirder days.

Next, Silver scanned the glass doors. The timelines were playing through quickly—he could barely register what was happening. The portals in the mezzanine were blurred out or filtered in mosaic.

"So you still won't permit me to enter any of the timelines?" He asked Sibyll.

"Nope. I know I always timeline-hop without a care in the world but that's because I'm used to it." She flicked her braid to the side. "The rest of you on the other hand . . . it's too dangerous. You can't go to any period. Especially 2028. Or 1869. Do not go to 1869."

"What's in 1869?"

Her expression was inscrutable. "You don't wanna know."

Sibyll pushed her glasses up her nose. "Hmm, there is one time period that's pretty safe to visit though."

"And that is?" Perhaps 'safe' had different connotations for each of them.

"Hold on, lemme look for it." Silver followed as Sibyll navigated through the shelves and past multiple doors.

She stopped in front of one that looked blinding and barren. "Here it is! I wonder if you have . . ." She trailed off before perking up and spotting a parka hanging nearby. "There we go."

Silver hadn't realized what was happening yet when she opened the door, kicked him inside, and went in after. He gawked at the surroundings: snow coating the ground, a clear sky, and the cold nipping at his face. Sibyll zipped up her jacket, snickering.

"Manny! I'm back!" She hollered out, cupping her palms by her mouth.

"Who's Ma— aaaack!" Silver yelped and dodged to the side, missing the wooly mammoth's foot by only an inch.

Sibyll flashed a cunning smile and reached out to him as an invitation. "Shall we take a ride?"

--

"Let me get this straight." Danaus crossed his arms. "You want me to akumatize you?"

Cosette nodded quickly as she bounced on her heels. The enthusiastic sparkle in her eyes was something he had only encountered a handful of times. But he knew that look. It spoke of trouble.

"Why didn't you ask Zee yesterday?" he asked.

"Zee didn't want to," she said quietly.

"Then he must have a good reason."

"NO!" Cosette uncharacteristically raised her voice, grabbing onto his arm. "Do it, please."

She pulled out the puppy dog eyes. She pulled out the puppy dog eyes! Danaus looked away in an attempt to resist. "Why do you want to be akumatized so badly?"

"I've never tried it." She smiled sheepishly. "It'll help me improve my connections with my champions."

"Oh really? No ulterior motive?"

She shook her head.

Danaus cast her a look of suspicion. He'd have control over the link, and he could always reclaim the akuma. Despite knowing this, his subconscious sensed that it could all end badly.

And Zee would have his head.

"Fine." He gave in. "Let's try it. Do you have a spare butterfly?"

Cosette shrugged off her crocheted backpack and dug out a glass jar with a Viceroy butterfly residing in it. She carefully transferred it into his hands and he summoned his power while connecting with her emotions. The akuma fluttered towards one of her hairpins.

Her figure was bathed in a shimmering light, signaling the transformation. The appearance of Akumatized Cosette didn't stray too far from her civilian form: she wore a more elaborate dress, with bold makeup and hair pulled up into a bun.

She studied herself for a few seconds. "I don't feel different," she said disappointedly (though Danaus also sensed an accusation in her tone).

"Any powers?"

"Nothing." Her hands dropped limply at her sides. Cosette pouted up at him.

"What?"

"When you create an akuma, you must focus on the goal you want your champion to achieve," Cosette lectured. "If your champion doesn't have a strong inclination towards something, nothing will happen."

Danaus' eyes widened when she took her hairpin and crushed it, releasing the butterfly. That was Cosette's disapproving fury. He obediently reclaimed it, restoring the butterfly back to normal.

"Try this one." She stopped him and pulled out another jar from her bag ( where is she getting all these butterflies?). This time it was a Blue Morpho.

"Does the type of butterfly matter?" Danaus questioned.

"I don't know but it's safe to experiment."

He captured the new butterfly in his hands but paused. "I can't think of any goal for you."

"Anything," she urged.

"Champions also influence their transformations don't they?" He recalled the variety she had as Solandis. "What if you think of what you want to be?"

Her tongue stuck out slightly as she considered. "Okay."

Danaus closed his eyes, channeling more deeply into the link. He couldn't perceive the exact desires Cosette fed into the connection, but he transferred it into the akuma and set it free. It touched her bag this time.

Her outfit was the same except for one glaring difference: she now had a pair of cobalt blue wings stretching from her back where her bag once was. Cosette gasped in delight, moving the wings according to her will. Her feet lifted off the ground for a bit as they fluttered.

"Your wish was to become a butterfly?"

"It's my calling," she whispered determinedly, looking straight into his eyes. "A-yah-yah, I'm a little butterfly."

A split second passed before she lifted off the ground. And she was fast. Cosette launched herself from the alley and flew to the top of the buildings before Danaus could grab hold of her. Dread stirred in his gut as he went after her in a panic. He knew (she probably did too) that if he reclaimed the akuma suddenly, she'd immediately fall to the ground.

Danaus pinched the bridge of his nose as he quickened his pace to chase her.

Zee was going to kill him.

--

On the third night of swapping Miraculouses around, he was scheduled for a patrol with Marinette. This time, he had the Ladybug Miraculous while she had the Butterfly. By far, the Ladybug suit was the most comfortable to wear around.

The yoyo, however, was another story.

He heard Marinette's—Nymphis'—giggles when the string wrapped around his legs and tripped him. Vermeil untangled himself and cautiously kept the weapon at arm's length.

"I was worse when I first started out," Nymphis said in between bouts of laughter. "You just need to get used to it."

"It seems that it has its own version of physics," he grumbled.

"No, no, no it's all practice. Here, let me show you." He handed the yoyo to her. Nymphis performed a short trick before throwing it over to the next building. It caught onto the railing with precision, winding around the metal securely.

"See?" She beamed at him. "Try focusing on the path of the yoyo instead of the destination."

She unwound the yoyo to give it back. Vermeil took a deep breath. He told himself inwardly that he shouldn't make a fool of himself in front of the original holder. Especially because it's Marinette. He pulled his arm back and threw. The yoyo sailed through the air, stopped by a ledge, and anchored onto it with a tug.

"Good!" Nymphis praised. "Now try jumping to the other side."

Vermeil took tentative steps towards the end of the building. His hand tugged at the yoyo before he allowed himself to be pulled along. On the other building, he jumped to land safely on the ledge while unwinding the yoyo. Nymphis followed after with quick leaps.

"That wasn't bad," she said. "How do you feel?"

"Still wary of the yoyo," he replied. "Other than that, I feel lucky."

"Lucky?"

He pressed his fingertips to his suit. "Perhaps it has something to do with wielding the Black Cat for so long. I'm not sure—I can only describe it as 'lucky'."

"I'm glad it worked out well for you then." She tapped her cane on the ground. "There isn't a sentimonster attack right now, so you can't really use the powers but I can tell you'd make a great Ladybug."

"I would?"

"Problem-solving skills, quick thinking, resourcefulness," she enumerated. "You fit in."

For the first time that night, Vermeil took a proper look at her under the moonlight. Nymphis was incredibly stunning, more so wearing her usual uplifting smile. She evidently put some thought into her outfit as its details stood out in the dimness. He felt his cheeks warm up. "Thank you."

"So . . . race you?" Nymphis challenged.

He mirrored her excitement. "Loser owes the winner a drink."

"Deal!" She faced towards the next building and tossed her cane as far as she could.

"Um—" Vermeil stared at her. "Why did you—"

" I thought I was holding my yoyo!" She blushed.

They raced across rooftops, with Nymphis emerging as the winner (it was no surprise, but on the bright side, he'd never let her forget her mistake). After a breather, they tried to spar to get accustomed to different weapons. Time passed in a blink. Soon, it was half past one and the exhaustion was finally spreading to their limbs.

"See you tomorrow at school?" said Nymphis.

"Yes, see you tomorrow." The corner of his lip tugged upwards. "Don't lose your cane on the way home."

"Hey!"

They parted ways, going towards the direction of their homes. Vermeil dropped down into a nearby alley to detransform and feed Tikki.

"Oh my god, Nooroo did you see him? He looked so—so—! So good!"

Félix froze. Marinette. She was on the other side of the wall.

"I swear it's all Tikki's fault! She—she made Félix more beautiful with that suit!" Marinette rambled loudly. "Agh, I couldn't stop looking at him! Do you think he noticed?"

His gaze snapped towards the red kwami in front of him, who was muffling her laughter behind paws. He felt heat reaching the tips of his ears.

"I think he was too busy with the yoyo," Nooroo assured.

"Yes he was! But still! I was going to have a nosebleed!"

"Why will you have a nosebleed?" A mixture of worry and confusion laced the kwami’s voice.

"I—uhhh . . . remind me to tell Cosette to let you watch more anime."

Meanwhile, Félix was a glowing red. He covered his blushing face with both his hands, clinging on to any thought to bring his heartbeat back to normal.

--

He got the Dragon Miraculous from Zee, but he didn't have any safe space to practice with it. Zee roped him into a video chat and suggested the park near his house. Félix, taking the name Drakon, positioned himself at the corner of the area. He leaned his phone against a bench to provide a good view while Zee mentored him.

"I can't activate any of the powers." Drakon sat down on the grass, frowning.

"I predicted as much." Zee clasped his hands together. "Like the Peacock and Butterfly, the Dragon is also tied with the holder's emotions. More specifically, the personality. That's why it's not that easy to use the Miraculous."

"Can you elaborate on that?"

"Let's start with water." The boy held up one finger. "It's adaptable. It resonates with people who can be flexible under any situation."

"You're saying that doesn't characterize me."

"I'm saying you don't have enough of the characteristic. Or at least, the amount the Miraculous requires. Of course, you are flexible in some way and it depends on a lot of factors but the Miraculous needs a big amount of that kind of energy. That means you have to constantly supply that when you try to become water."

Drakon tapped on the hilt of his sword. Zee had a lot of wisdom on psychology—his 'mentoring' resembled a therapy session.

"And I need more of that when I try to become wind?" Drakon asked.

"Wind is different." Zee shook his head. "It's more on the free-spirited side. The best example I can give is probably Sibyll or—to some degree—Haru. Unlike water, wind doesn't bend to any stress or pressure. It goes wherever it wants and changes direction the second it feels the urge to."

"In other words, that's not me."

"Yup. Not exactly you."

"What about lightning?"

"Lightning is persistent, determined. Its presence is prominent, loud and bold. Think Marinette or maybe Alina."

"Let me guess." Drakon sighed. "You can masterfully wield the Dragon Miraculous because you have those qualities."

Zee chuckled. "You can say that. But it doesn't mean it's impossible for you to use the powers. A lot of past holders had trouble with that too. For now, instead of becoming the elements, you can try controlling them instead." He made a dramatic gesture with his hands. "Be the avatar."

Drakon listened to Zee's patient instructions. He had trouble moving around since it was dark, but he managed to pull out droplets from leaves, redirect a soft breeze with his fingers and ignite a quick spark. While he practiced, Zee narrated his own experiences.

"If in case you have to use the Dragon in battle, it gets easier to transform into the elements," said Zee. "Because it's a high pressure, risky situation and all."

"That's convenient but—" Drakon let the floating water drop back down to the grass. "—I'd take this Miraculous as a last resort."

He had never considered compatibility with Miraculouses before, but after that experience, he began to think about the idea more often.

--

Haru didn't even talk about precautions in using the Miraculous. He only sent a text that said: don't go too wild :/

Félix decided to use it in broad daylight this time, presuming that his illusions were nothing out of the ordinary. He tucked himself away in an unfrequented part of the city near the school and cast his illusions. For half an hour, he happily watched his creations roam around as he remained in a low crouch, knees to his chest.

Until Haru caught him.

Haru was taking a walk in the area, finished with his business in the school's art room. Le Renard's eyes widened as they saw each other. The former took one look at him, chortled, and grabbed his phone to catch the whole thing on video.

It didn't end there.

Sibyll also stumbled into the scene and stopped to stare alongside Haru. She was clearly stifling her laughter, while Le Renard hid his blush and continued gazing down at the illusions as if nothing had happened. There was a ginger cat sleeping by his feet, while he pretended to pet a black one even though his hand didn't sense anything tangible. Around him, there were more cats walking around: Bengals, Maine Coons, Persians, one Burmese, and two Siamese cats.

"Of all you could've done," Haru wheezed, "You made illusions of cats ?"

"They're harmless," Renard mumbled abashedly, "And cute."

"Sweet, sweet Fé, how many did you make?" Sibyll asked as another cat emerged from the shadows.

"I made enough."

At that moment, Cosette, Marinette and Zee also arrived after Sibyll relayed what happened. Cosette immediately jumped at the chance to talk to the cats; Marinette cooed about how cute the illusions were; while Zee silently observed with a smirk on his face.

"What gave you the idea anyway?" Marinette bent down to take a closer look.

Le Renard cleared his throat. "There's not a lot of strays near our house so I . . ."

"So you made an army." Sibyll raised an eyebrow.

"They're cats." He scowled. "You can't go wrong with cats."

Renard moved his hand to steer the illusions a bit. More cats appeared from their hiding places—they meowed and crept out of the openings in the abandoned building before heading towards the group. To say that they were everywhere was an understatement. Calico kittens ran out in groups, some bigger cats stopped to groom themselves, and a few approached Le Renard for some 'petting'.

" Holy —" Haru choked out, jaw dropping. "Félix, I'm taking away your Fox privileges." 

[aforrestofstuff]

Okay dude, I gotta know. Who in the OPM universe is a virgin?

I have made a comprehensive guide on the sexual status of all major characters in the OPM universe just for you, anon!

NSFW! —>

Is a virgin and cool about it:

Mumen Rider: just discussed this. He hasn’t actively looked for a partner yet! It’s not that big of a deal to him. He knows how to show love in a million other ways.

King: same thing, really. He’s a little more horny about it though. But still, it’s not that big of a deal and he doesn’t think about it much (someone pls give him a partner).

Superalloy Darkshine: too focused on getting those gains. He could get any date easy though, he’s a real catch.

Pig God: too busy getting a different type of gain.

Iaian: “Romance is frivolous! I have to devote all of my time and energy into practicing my swordsmanship so I shall one day surpass Sensei!

Is a virgin and mad about it:

Metal Knight: actual incel. Probably calls women “femoids”.

Tatsumaki: looks like a twelve year-old. Couldn’t get a date if she tried.

Metal Bat: he’s young, horny levels are through the roof, and porn is easily accessible. What’s a dude to do? We’ve all been there.

Garou: same as Metal Bat except twice as feral.

Death Gatling: He’s too scary-looking and frightens any potential lovers. Nevermind the gigantic scar, he’s got a fucking gun for an arm, man!

Sneck: “I am a catch and the fact that nobody will have sex with me is a crime against humanity!”

Dr. Genus: same as Metal Knight.

Is a virgin because robot:

Drive Knight: does he even have a robo-dick? He’s just out here’s naked all the time with no dick! Dude!

Genos: Too busy trying to attain limitless power than to be horny. Probably got that custom-built robo-dick though, if I’m being honest.

Has an average sex life/has only had sex a few times:

Saitama: pre-workout Saitama was hot as hell and you can’t deny it. He doesn’t actively look for sex though, so he’s only had it the few times he’s been given the opportunity early on in his adult life.

Atomic Samurai: I’ve said this before in a previous hc, but he must have been ridiculously good-looking back in the day and had every opportunity to be a slut. However, he was a lot like Iaian and focused on other things instead. He’s gotten a bit of a late start, but my man’s has been getting it on whenever he can.

Flashy Flash: I’ve said this before in a previous hc, but due to his past and isolation in the Ninja Village, he’s since been focusing on tying up loose ends and has only recently just started to explore his sexuality. He’s had sex like, maybe once or twice lol.

Sonic: same thing as Flashy Flash, but give it time and he’ll become a slut.

Tanktop Master: He’s not too occupied with romance, but had sex when given the opportunity. I mean, he’s got the homies, insane muscles, and a kickass job. What more could he want?

Lightning Max: He’s only had a couple of lovers. He’s in it more for the validation and love and less for the intimacy. A real stand-up guy.

Fubuki: Shes normally too busy managing her herd of like, 30 hooligans. But she’s otherwise got ridiculously high standards for her lovers and still retains an average sex life despite that because, I mean, who could resist?

Bushidrill: same boat as Atomic Samurai just to a lesser degree.

Actual sluts:

Puri-Puri Prisoner: no explanation needed.

Amai Mask: I’m actually not sure about this one because he’s a super beloved pop-star so, theoretically, he’s got to have a pretty active sex life, right?? But then there’s the whole monster thing and I just— I don’t know, to be honest.

Okamaitachi: they’re open about their sexuality! They’re not ashamed! They can get it and they get it when they want to! Good for them!

Watchdog Man: uh

Suiryu: I don’t really need to make an explanation for this one either. It’s canon. He’s got a different bedmate every night. My man is living the dream.

Stinger: he’s a fan-favorite, he’s cute, and he’s young. It was inevitable. He’s more lowkey about it though, and genuinely tries to land a long-lasting relationship but to no avail.

Was a slut back in the day:

Silverfang: his sex life is pretty much dead now but back in his prime?? Basically Suiryu. My mans had a different lover on his arm each night and had the decency to make breakfast for them the morning after. A true legend.

Bomb: same as Silverfang.

Zombieman: pre-HoE Zombieman was a slut. Genus fucked him up though, and probably mangled his libido to shit. However, he’s since been rehabilitating himself and is working on rekindling that old flame.

Thanks for your ask, anon! ❤️ this was fun to write lol.