#my general existence is shit rn.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
angronsjewelbeetle · 3 months ago
Text
Anyone know any 40k fluff fics for a bloke who's body has decided to despise him?
10 notes · View notes
vaguely-concerned · 1 month ago
Text
I don't know what I love more, the fact that as rook you can make a statement in NO uncertain terms that you are NOT responsible one way or the other for the theological implications of the shit you're discovering in the 'regrets of the dread wolf' memories. not my jurisdiction. quite simply none of my business. not my chantry circus not my chantry monkeys. irrelevant to the matter at hand here we'll kill that god if we get to him he can get in line. or if the best thing about it is seeing the lone little 'lucanis approves' that pops up right after choosing it. corvid with a knife about to commit deicide keeping it real and sensibly, pragmatically, wilfully agnostic with me here in this magical lighthouse today
#we do not see it. we cannot read all of a sudden.#rye having war flashbacks to watcher conferences and firmly going 'we are *not* getting derailed by the metaphysics here folks'#rare stern moderator/dad hat moment from ingellvar lol. he's Seen Some Shit in his time (debates that raged over the multiple#and not always concurrent life times of the participants involved. ain't no academic rivalry like watcher academic rivalry#because watcher academic rivalry doesn't stop even when everyone involved is dead. and the rest of us have to live with it)#I. do not think the way I'm getting this quest is how it's meant to be experienced so I'm a bit at a loss as to how to pace it out#I've been an annoying little completionist so I have ALL the statues and could just marathon it out#but that does not feel like the best way for the story and upcoming reveals to work. hm. how to do this#I'm supposed to go fail to save weisshaupt right around now I can't be having study group with all of you rn as much of a delight as it is#rye is nominally an andrastian as mainstream nevarrans generally are but as I gather is the case with many of the watchers#what he *actually* believes in is the grand necropolis itself haha#(and the philosophy of history memory death and relationship (as well as responsibility) between the past and the present#and indeed the future that it represents. we have a duty. to what has been to what is and to what will come after us. good shit)#the nevarran/mortalitasi element just makes their lack of care or respect for chantry orthodoxy *mwha* that extra bit special#the nevarran lack of concern bordering on quiet condescending disdain for official chantry doctrine and policy my beloved#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#poor harding really is living through the most relentless 'if this is the maker testing my faith he sure be testing me' gauntlet of all tim#good news: god might be real! bad news: god might not even be a real thing but more like a magical accident or vibration or something#honestly tho. if we could get full lovecraftian incomprehensible to human conception the maker -- He is a particle and a wave style --#that's the only way I'd be cool with him or them actually answering the question of his existence. that'd be kind of sick#'yes. but no. but maybe. depends on how you define god. and exist. and he. and does.' *ingellvar sets of the METAPHYSICS!! klaxon#that's a time out folks good game but easy on the jargon and navel-gazing definition of terms next round#rye and lucanis have some slightly differing views about at what exact stage of a problem murder becomes a valid solution#('well you just kill them and then I'm the one who has to deal with the next much longer part')#but they're surprisingly kind of vibing on a lot of other stuff lol. good for them <3#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar
47 notes · View notes
undefeatablesin · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Watch out ya'll, Sin's sketching Bloodborne comics again! 💀
24 notes · View notes
skrunksthatwunk · 15 days ago
Text
im exploding into a million pieces i found a reddit thread about butches in video games (specifically looking for them) in hopes that there was some kind of lesser known dream daddy-esque butch dating sim or SOMETHING cute like that and guys the fucking crumbs we have to live on you're actually killing me. im withering away why are there no kissable butches in video games im going to throw up and kill everyone. nobody wants a butch dating sim apparently. im gonna go weep in the fetal position
#everybody ignore this it's so stupid but#it's like heres a stard.ew valley mod where you can make leah butch and um idk starf.ield bg characters#and a baldgate3 character. IM CRYING WHERE ARE THE BUTCHES#'why is this making me emotional' (<- very understandable why it would make me emotional)#howling into the night sky ripping ny shirt in twain transforming into a big hairy beast bc i love butches sm#GUHHHHHHHHHH CMONNNNN#i just wanna see people's cute drawings of dykes ok. where is our version of bara#where is it please#im begginbg the universe generally#i need a hero (the song) is emanating from my pores rn. where are they we deserve so much better than this#gahhhh it's all overly palatable softgirl yuri fuckk. where are my big sweaty hairy braless deep voiced dykes im going to kill someone#when is it my turn to be happy wuagghhh#not to say i dislike softgirl yuri but i do not want to kiss them!! sorry but that is a big motivator for this#is wanting a 2d boyfriend (/dyke) because everyone else gets to have one :((#and also like. wanting to see dykes reflective of irl dykes rather than yuri for representation purposes that matter to me personally#and the gender euphoria that can often come from that but also FUCKK#nguhhhhhh oughhhhhh ahhhhhhhhgh. im such a fucking faggot im sick of this#a large chunk of the sapphic population is just completely not represented it's like they only exist in my mind#i never seen them around me either this shit sucks fuck my stupid baka life. wehehhh#exploding into a million pieces#im never expressing any kind of gay yearning again after this im done#is it too much to ask that i see people like me out there?? in many ways but tonight specifically in a butch way#ppl when they even think for a moment of making lesbian media where the dykes aren't sifted through straight attractiveness filters: 😱#again a lesbian dating dim w femmes would rule as well but it's all high schoolers and vaguely anime-hot women#and thats not good enough. it's like if they give a girl a big nose they'll fucking die immediately#maybe the real reason i consume so much homoerotic buff guy media is because SOMETIMES ppl draw them as butches#(<- not the reason but maybe loosely vaguely part of the reason)#anyway this was inspired by me watching ppl react to like. a popular pretty boy dating sim#and trying to figure out some equivalent experience for me but i can't bc none of it is made for me#killing everyone and then killing them again. hatred
2 notes · View notes
snekdood · 21 days ago
Text
idk if i agree with the whole "if you post art online it means you want people to like it" thing, i feel more like im tossing it out there as an option for people and hopefully it makes someone happy but even if no one cares about it its still gonna sit there like idrc if people see it. it's like leaving the curtains of my windows open, idrc if you look inside at that moment or not but heres a taste of my life if you do.
2 notes · View notes
hilacopter · 3 months ago
Text
I know I reblog serious things, posts mentioning and about rape included but someone sent me an ask concerning SA so please remember that I am a minor and don't send that stuff to me or prompt me to talk about it. Y'all see the stuff on this blog I'm not one of those "tumblr needs to go out of it's way to be safe for minors" people I'm just saying I won't and shouldn't comment on the topic myself until I'm yk. An adult.
3 notes · View notes
kevyeen · 6 months ago
Text
I wish being weird and batshit insane was socially acceptable, conforming to societal norms is killing me.
4 notes · View notes
theworstcreature · 8 months ago
Text
*gets bored and starts reading Wikipedia articles at you*
4 notes · View notes
exopelagic · 1 year ago
Text
auuudggghghhrhrhrbrr
#okay I’m feeling Bad and I need to unpick why before I’ll be able to sleep#friend is asking abt lunch on Friday when I already have standing commitment w other friends then so I can’t do that.#but I also go home on Sunday and I can’t do shit until Friday bc work and I have plans on Saturday so I just. can’t see them#which. I guess makes things easier actually that’s not something I can control and I’m not changing existing plans that’s unfair#I’m also listening to a playlist of old music (Apple Music generated favourites — so literally random picked from everything I’ve ever done#and the last few songs have made me feel Bad bc of being associated with certain times but song playing rn is definitively a good song#w a good memory attached and it’s MY song not one of my old friends#okay where are we#I’m stressed abt presentation on Thursday but also a non issue. I’m prepared. I have all day tomorrow to practice and read up more#and then it’s 20 minutes on Thursday morning I’ll be done before 10am#I am. a little frustrated on a broader scale about the role I’m currently occupying#in that w a bunch of my friends I’m having to be the one with their shit together and dealing with their Stuff.#mostly in the way that I have to be putting in extra effort to tiptoe around them and steer stuff to keep them happy#i can do it i can do it easily I’ve just tasted not having to now so it’s. noticeably different having to do it more#i do Not have the words to talk abt this in the way I want to it’s so annoying#it’s like. I know how my friend responds to stuff. I know the things that make her anxious and what her instinctual responses will be#and I’m constantly having higher level thoughts planning out how things will go it’s effortless and constant it’s just There#with everyone all the time but sometimes I use it more and sometimes I have to because I’m in a position where if I don’t we’ll get nowhere#and I don’t like that I’m having to worry abt keeping other people happy while I’m talking to my friends it removes me a layer from stuff#hrm. there are broader questions here abt the utility of this bc like. sure it helps in some situations#but this probably isn’t great long term for either of us. wild. goddamn talking to my friend abt philosophy opened new parts of my brain#anyway I cba to have those thoughts rn! it’s midnight! I’m going to bed in half an hour <3#it’s honestly unfair that I have to do anything other than be gay and play pokemon#luke.txt#uaUrghrhfhjs I’m also being insane abt a guy. which is predictable and I feel stupid abt for multiple reasons but. here we are.#I’m being insane. and maybe I should be less mean to myself but I feel like I’m being insane.#I think! I need to go to bed!#I am not being insane I am having feelings and that is allowed. feelings are typically regarded as a pretty normal thing to have.#philosophy friend is gonna be so mad at me if anything comes of this but it’s fine and if it does I think I’ll be pretty happy anyway#point is I’m doing nothing wrong and have done nothing wrong and I’m allowed to feel whatever the hell I like. okay.
1 note · View note
baekuras · 2 months ago
Text
I have finally, hundreds of years after everyone else, started playing Dragon Age....2
(the first one didn't run with sound and i wasn't in the mood to fix it because i was cranky today okay-another time...i will get context eventually don't worry i have at least 2 braincells w/ me)
and the main thing I noticed is
Every companion sure knows how to make a fucking entrance huh?
#txts#even the few i care about less than others-like the introduction? always amazing#....i may have forgotten Aveline exists halfway through tho so idk much about her....vibes i guess#i set her aside for being pouty about us doing illegal shit here and there because templars bla bla bla#and then i just forgot to stop playing or go to her again#....eventually....i will do her mission too#don't bless this camera tho i am fighting it at every turn#whoever thought move camera and interact should be the same key....I wanna have a conversation#bc half the times i try to just click on smth i move my view up to the high skies#also can someone give Isabela pants-girl you're clothes were not modeled to keep...not clipping through#i am trying to be respectful here okay#anders is the type of guy who falls in love with you if you're halfway nice to him i guess#and fenris keeps being mad at me for sticking up for mages#bc apparently demons get them or smth#which i SHOULD PROBABLY LEARN ABOUT#but rn my logic is: seems like a person and my sister here is nice so#.....i should either play game1 or get more story context i feel like....or maybe its just racism idk#(or complicated feelings bc his master was a mage and usually ppl with more power than others will become exploitative and assholes and-#that all is just a general philosophy of precaution further intensified by whats apparently a 'natural' inclination towards-#the demonic and spirits and where magic or whatever the source of those powers is what connects those different beings in some way-#which translates to others as an inherent inclination for evil but just because smth evil looms over you doesnt mean YOU are evil#that'd mean anyone in a kingdom ruled by an asshole is evil which isn't how this works#but ofc if you throw in religious zealot...y and such it's gets more.......gross#+the blight/archdemons and whatnot are like THE problem of all time so much so that it's like...dividing it into times#like we don't go the first century or 1928#we got the 4th blight and such#ANYWAY as said...idk so i will go ruminate in my thoughts and whatnot....and also go to sleep
0 notes
shimshamshimsham · 8 months ago
Text
I'm just a little girl and I'm so so tired
0 notes
lucifer-kane · 9 months ago
Text
i think going to a goth club/night would fix me alas im also deathly afraid of public spaces/covid so it's a horrible middle ground actually
0 notes
autumnation · 1 year ago
Text
getting really sentimental with the ocs today
0 notes
cescalr · 1 year ago
Note
I LOVE HOW YOU TAG PARAGRAPHS THEYRE FUN TO READ!! /gen
Thank you!!! I love to ramble!!!
#i'm so wordy. i am SO wordy. i never ever fail at a minimum word requirement#but oh god the second my uni says no MORE than 2000 words i freak out. what do you mean no more than 2000 words. does less than 2000 words#and tumblr not yelling at me about tag length even exist?#is it possible to not type out an entire paragraph when i have even a single thought? do people really go around with one word sentences in#side their heads all day? do you see a cool thing and go oh cool thing! and move on#instead of oh cool thing! this reminds me of my very specific brainrot!#which is to say chronic inability to shut the fuck up#so i'm glad. you are entertained lmao#that's all i intend! i'm literally blogging tumblr is a blogging platform. the point is to put my thoughts out there! throw them out! into#the void! the dark abyss (i use the goth rave dashboard theme so this is literal) and hope#just hope i get like a call back. a little nod. and i got one <3 thank you <3#also (genuinely) i'm assuming /gen means /genuine but like it could also mean /general or some kind of acronym like pos (piece of shit) so.#am i right? im not. up to date. the last time#i paid attention to txt spk and it's ilk was like 2015#i make assumptions but i am Often Wrong (i still don't know what tfw stands for my brain just goes 'time for when' and it's like 'yeah that#sounds legit' and i'm like 'what the fuck are you talking about? time for when? that doesn't even make sense.#why do you think that sounds legit?'#but i'm asking myself that question so i dont' get an aswer. ah well#you can tell i should be sleeping rn. i get even more verbose and use words like ilk when i'm tired. hence: sleep time now yes.#but again; for real all jokes and minor japes aside: thanks! i'm glad i'm really not just shouting into the void for nobody to hear here.
1 note · View note
zan0tix · 4 months ago
Note
Any general thoughts on/relating to the Brobot?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Have my half awake scrawlings...
I really love the brobot!!!! People really misconstrue it and also leave it out in a lot of dirkjake talk? Its a big player in not only how dirk expresses his affection/desire towards jake but also in their multi year spanning unspoken game of gay chicken 😭😭(all of dirks splinters are but Not about them rn)
It was sent yknow under the pretense that jake loves wrestling and wished so bad to have somebody he could wrestle with. But at the same time it protects jake from the horrors of hellmurder island (seen before they strife), pushing jake into the Damsel in distress role he wasnt expecting to play even before all the shit in the game, with Dirk being his hero.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Jake says he keeps it on a high difficulty because apparently in the Novice mode he says their interactions become "too tender" and doesnt want to elaborate, Friendly reminder! His convo with jane on the SAME DAY dirk pulled off that big romantic overture and the kiss happens and him and dirk begin "dating".. is the same day he asked jane if it didnt make him weird for wanting to date dirk. And he also says hed joke around with dirk about how theyd soo make a great couple if dirk were a girl haha.
I imagine the brobot and well. Getting physical like that with a robot that supposedly looks like dirk probably gave jake his internal gay awakening at 13 but he just never wanted to actually confront it and instead just wanted to brush past everything 😭😭 (See: every single time sexuality or romance comes up in relation to jake he is literally always thinking about dirk somehow and he never directly talks about his attraction to men or how that reflects/contradicts on his self image of the Movie Star Hero guy)
and jake doesnt actually hate the thing either, he tells jane he thinks it genuinely did improve his fighting capabilities (Which we see it did in collide! he beat basically the whole felt with guns and fisticuffs alone, no hope powers.) Which serves as a pretty evident parallel to dave who also is good at fighting, even if he doesnt want to be. (see dirk + dave convo)
Tumblr media
This one comes from hussies authors notes in the aradiabot and equius scene (which equius imagery being invoked with dirk. something i could totally rant about another time haha) but yeah. Jake was being selfish asshat in that log forcing jane into a corner and wringing what he wanted to hear out of her, and also not giving a shit about the brobot (Which served as his protector and only other semblance of human connection since he was 13 and was a BIRTHDAY GIFT FROM DIRK) KILLING ITSELF? But hes so preoccupied talking about dirk. THE REAL DIRK. And immediately after jake loses the dirk splinter that protected him, HE (AND DIRK) CREATE A NEW ONE FOR HIMSELF USING THEIR COMBINED POWERS/?
Hussie is lying.. somebody Does care about dirks feelings. a whole lot to the point they activate their powers unwittingly Because of it. and its jake. but jake just cant admit that himself. (He cannot admit his real feelings until given permission to, dirk would have to concede the game of gay chicken first using his words and not just actions)
ANYWAY. hussie is so right its so easy to get sidetracked times one million talking about this comic. BUT AHH!! BROBOT. his existence.. tragic.. Jakes really smart in knowing that all of dirks splinters enlighten aspects of himself he doesnt oft share, and the brobot served as another dirk action on the pile of dirk actions he engineers to signify his deep immense care for jake, where he lets these grand gestures and implications sit out in the open without ever actually saying what they mean and where his feelings lay.
EVEN IF ITS SUPER OBVIOUS. The d man cant use his big boy words to actually describe his feelings despite how much a yaps! so jake doesnt know if hes even allowed to say anything about his own. Fellas: Is it gay if you labour for supposedly an extended period of time to create a custom robot in your own image to ship in pieces to your best bro guy crush who is HUNDREDS OF YEARS IN THE PAST because you cant be there yourself?
Tumblr media
I think this hal message says enough about how bad dirk wished he could visit jake 💀💀
582 notes · View notes
leftneb · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Curiositas aka sirens!AU
in which Lando is a siren with species dysphoria and Oscar is the defintion of Just Some Guy, who happens to get caught up in Lando's mess. and obviously they fall in love along the way etc etc
I first posted about this idea over 2 months ago and I'm happy to announce that there is now a fic in the works!!! which will likely take at least another 2 months because goddamn the concept outgrew itself (as you can tell by the fact charles and max also, like, exist now) it's sitting at ~8k words rn, which is by far the longest thing I've ever written in my life already, but story isn't even close to being finished, so yeah it'll take a while lmao
for now though I have some character designs and lots of thoughts, which I'd like to share :3
ramblings about their individual designs and details below the cut!!
and massive thank you to my dear partner @lailau7904 for not only holding my hand through writing the fic so far but somehow being even more insane about this whole AU than I am???
Tumblr media Tumblr media
LANDO
main character (and POV holder) his design isn't based on any real fish, closest resemblance is to a fake fishing lure (reference provided)
very little scarring despite sirens' hunting culture, some tiny cuts and scratches around the top of his tail from smuggling pretty stones and shards of glass
absurdly bright green scales (I really could've made him fluorescent but I think that would be overkill) which is absurdly shit for stealth purposes but good for catching the attention of potential victims
vague triangle shape language but in a semi-elegant way
doesn't eat fish and would rather not eat human either
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
MAX
fills the position of a leader in his and Lando's colony, inherited the role in his late teens but grew up to it pretty quickly
shark motif, all sharp and angular shapes, visibly intimidating
lots of scars collected during hunts, wounds covered over by red scales from Charles
his scales are pretty dark but they shine blue when the light hits them just right (plus Charles' scales are a bright red lmao, which is a bit suboptimal for stealth but he thinks it's worth it)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
CHARLES
koi fish motif, soft and round shapes
no scarring at all
has known Max since they were kids but actually didn't meet Lando until their 20s despite Max and Lando being childhood best friends
considered legally dead by monegasque officials (this has lore reasons which I'm not about to spoil)
GENERAL NOTES
the AU plays in a modern setting, altough sirens are very behind on human technology
their gills are on the side of their ribs! they can also all breathe with their lungs above water
funky scales patterns on their torsos around "modified" areas such as their gills and back fin
they have no hands but don't let that fool you! I was simply too lazy to draw any, what you would see if I did draw them tho would include:
webbing between fingers!! matches the colour of fins
longer, and more solid, claw-like nails
wrinkled palms and fingertips
I really wanted to make Max and Charles' torsos more life accurate but could not be arsed, they all have Lando's body type, aka I've accidentally twinkified Charles and Max lmao
by now you might have noticed that there's no design for Oscar, and as much as I really want to make a siren design for him that would have some pretty heavy lore implications so I'm... hesitant to do so
other people on my sirenification waiting list are:
George Russell and Alex Albon (for the 2019 rookies circle to be complete)
Franco Colapinto (based purely off vibes)
the whole grid really god I'm so ill
for the record Logan is a human in this AU but he IS present fuck you James Vowles
Tumblr media Tumblr media
you may have also noticed the papaya version I labeled as McLaren themed (this one is also the highest quality image I have in this thread if you're gonna do any zooming in please do it on this one,,,,)
all throughout writing and drawing I couldn't help but think about another banger siren!Lando fic: Salt Skin by @strawberry-daiquiris! in which Lando has orange slash papaya scales, which I just had to draw honestly
a lot of my design process was also inspired by a piece by @dumbf1sketches (it's somewhere in the pile of other gorgeous art in that post)
Tumblr media
bonus underwater version of all of them because it wasn't bright enough for me to feel good about it being at the top but it's still like, the main colour example to my brain
TAGLIST(S)
AU @mintraindrop @cx-boxbox (I know the og post is from actual ages ago but you two were interested so I humbly offer you these crumbs)
ART @santongkabayo @cyclonixi @alto-the-avocado @loquarocoeur
people that put up with my ramblings on dc @lyslsstuff @peppysinc @girlrussell
161 notes · View notes