#it is 5:30 in the morning rn
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I ate some trash food (that im not supposed to eat bcz my skin will go bad and im strength training so that comes with maintaining a healthy diet) and now i wanna throw up bcz i feel disgusted with myself
#tw eating issues#tw ed implied#i dont know if this is ed but i tagged it to be on the safe side bcz i dont wanna unintentionally hurt someone#the reason for the trash food binge wss bcz im stressed with studies and i have a pile of shit that i dont understand but have to somehow#By today and i havent slept properly in like a week and i hate the phone but i feel irritated with existence in general i dont wanna ANYTHI#But sleep doesnt come bcz im anxious#And also my eyes are lowkey burning#And my shoulder HURTS LIKE HELL#GODDAMN I HATE THIS PAIN I WANT IT TO GO AWAY#Yeah im gonna go to the gym. Thats what'll cure it#Fuck studies imma go and lift and run and thatll ease my brain and make me feel better#Fuck everything#rant#p#it is 5:30 in the morning rn#the gym will open in half an hour
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actually it does kind of bother me that people donât want to talk about how margot verger is a poorly written/poorly adapted lesbian character because we want to like her so bad given her sympathetic circumstances and tentatively happy ending/happy marriage. also because itâs hard to parse if sheâs a more or less offensive depiction of a lesbian in the book because sheâs a âstereotypeâ (butch) and itâs implied that sheâs only a lesbian because of abuse at the hands of her brother (not an implication they reverse in the show necessarily) and because the writing is both a product of its time (the 90s) by a writer who has previously written transphobic/homophobic tropes (see: the silence of the lambs, which the show does not adapt, which i think was a smart move tbh). but low key wouldnât it have been cool to have a butch lesbian get a (tentatively!) happy ending in a mainstream horror tv series
#i read the book in a haze during lockdown though so i might be remembering what i want to remember#but i remember thinking wow what a missed opportunity in the show#bryan fuller has said that he changed the character because he thought the character in the book was offensive#but idk i think that was an excuse to make her hyperfeminine and sexy to appeal to a wider audience#especially the idea that she would fuck a man *under the right circumstances#(men always think itâs the âright circumstancesâ)#and low key it IS plot relevant and in character for her to do that#but also her desperately wanting a child and stopping at nothing to have a child#and conniving scheming seducing and murdering to get the child she wants#THATâS the part that seems like gay panic anti-lesbian coded writing#NOT her being butch lol#but thatâs the part they adapted. so.#anyway iâm sure this is the thing on everyoneâs mind rn#at 5:30 am the morning after the election#discourse about whether or not the hannibal tv series has good lesbian representation#right?#hannibal
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getting mad that I have to sleep in order for my brain to work because I am so struck by the desire to draw Nick Valentine rn. Also Hancock because I think I've only drawn him like once in a doodle. I wanna draw and write and GRAGH why does time move
#I am in fact a morning person so do you guys know how strong the feelings are rn that I want to continue being awake#i woke up at 5:30 this morning but the fellas are calling me#serenade posts
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riddle me piss batman if eyebags supposedly mean you arenât getting enough sleep, then why are they so hot??
#this post is brought to you by me going âwrow!â out loud after seeing myself in the bathroom mirror bc my eyebags are real dark#i mean i know why theyâre so dark rn. i woke up at 9:30 this morning after 5 hours of sleep#and then proceeded to spend 2 hours trying to go back to sleep before saying fuck it and taking my adderall#câest la vie ou quoi que ce soit#xav shouts into da void
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Hey you guys know how in early Velvet and Veener concept art they were bergens . You know how Poppy promises Viva that times have changed and Bergens don't want to eat them anymore . You know how Viva meets Bridget and begins to trust and grow again and leaves her safe space despite her fear . You know how if V&V were bergens Viva would be met with an image of the day everything fell apart all over again . What if Velvet tried to eat Poppy in a desperate attempt to gain her talent while Viva stood there fear-stricken . Guys what then
#losing myyy . mind#trolls band together#starztalks#its 5 30in the morning my alarm is set for an hour 30 minutes . somebody knock me out rn
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Just got back home from the hospital
#my mom is a diabetic and her toe (just one toe) was itching severely for an entire day so we went to the emergency room around 5 in the#morning#itâs 11:00 rn bro#they took forever to see her man it shouldnât have taken this long I hate roseland hospital đŁď¸đŁď¸đŁď¸!!!#i remember getting a taxi back home from the hospital back when Uber and Lyft werenât popular yet because of a toe fracture#and they took forever to see me then#the taxi driver was like âif I was on my death bed I still wouldnât want to be taken to roselandâ#youâll be sitting in the lobby for like 6 hours until they call your name and shit#and mom mom still didnât get to get her medicine#the dude at the pharmacy told us to wait an hr#I went up there to check up on the progress about 30 min in and that was when heâd#decided to tell us that they didnât have the medicine and that it needed to be ordered đľâđŤ#went to a pharmacy across the street and same thing#my mom is try to call Walgreens and cvs to see if sheâll have any luck#I feel so bad for her#rambling
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I made a uquiz!!!
Click the link to find out which one of my fictional crushes you are!! There's 9 results all from different shows/games :)
Which one of my fictional crushed are you?
I've been wanting to make one of these for a while now and finally finished it đĽ˛
Please share your results cus I'm super curious as to who ppl will get the most!!
#legit finished and posted it at 4:30 in the morning lol#i do the talk thing#uquiz link#uquiz#its almost 5 am as im typing thjs#so sorry if my spelling is bad rn lol#might make a 2nd id this one does well#reblogs are v much appreciated
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guys i have been sleeping so badlately i think my brain hates me . i woke up in cold sweat today 8 in the morning (went to sleep at 4am) bc i thought it was 2pm and i dreamed of my dad and my brother scolding me for sleeping in (they sleep in regularly . they literally do not give a shit) wtf wtf wtf
#dont wanna go 2 sleep rn (it is 2 am)#my legs r itching cos i waxed i will Not b able 2 get Any Sleep brk#my brain always makes me wake up at Least 2 hrs earlier than i should .#except when its convenient . which is annoying . late 2 my piano classes cos i slept xtra 30 min#fuck this stupud baka life#yael.blogs#me waking up on a saturday morning (no shit to do): 6am AUHGHG THE ENERGY cannot sleep mkre#me waking up on a day i Have To Do Something: fuck 5 minut e until i am laye#like what. come on.#i shoild probably just sleep better#but my brain does not let me#eughhgn . leave me Alone#rant
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I can't find that post I made of the Steamboat Willie public domain predictions from a few days before the year started but one of them was that someone would make a "blood and honey" out of this (and have just the same amount of cultural impact) and we're barely 2 days in and
(Jeff Goldblum voice) I hate being right all the time
#Typing this at 2:40 in the fucking morning and queueing but mein gott#also I'm kinda assuming Tumblr DELETED my original post because I scrolled back through the past few days and#couldn't fucking find it#was it because I said p*rn. was THAT it.#anyways yeah there will be 5 microseconds of news sites spreading this movie's announcement around and then no one will see it#those who fail to learn from history etc etc#also I originally typed this all out at 2:30 but HIT POST INSTEAD OF SAVE#I WANT TO FUCKING SLEEP BUT I HAD TO REMAKE THIS POST AND RETYPE ALL THESE TAGS MANUALLY#TO POST IT AT A TIME WHEN IT WILL ACTUALLY BE SEEN#ALSO I JUST HAD TO RETYPE THOSE LAST TAGS BECAUSE I HORRIFICALLY MISPELLED ''IT''#peace out
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trying desperately to figure out why zoe's characterization bothers me so much and. is it literally just because shes a fan stand in? so that somehow things feel cheapened when another character does something and she calls it out as a trope?
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#trick question its always just that i dont like cheerful and overly happy characters#i also dont like scott very well for the same reason.... alas#i DO like calculester but tbf hes 1. weird enough to make it work and 2. im biased because a friend made me like calc#i am NOT immune to propaganda please tell me how much you love side characters in great detail#(well i say cheerful and overly happy but. idk. how else to explain it?)#(because polly's not like that and doesnt run into the same issue for me. maybe oblivious?)#(????? theres a term for this i know. but i cant figure it out)#(also its like 5:30 in the morning and i havent slept oops)#.... also maybe its just i got too excited for all the people theorizing on zoe's personality#and then when it was actually revealed i was doomed to disappointment#god i wish i had a brain rn
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in other news i get two weeks of summer break!!! :D i thought my summer classes were going to just lead me straight into school again but i do actually get some breathing room before it all starts up once more :D
#can't WAIT to be back in french class i'm gonna have so much fun#and like! ten thousand english classes!!!! everybody say yayyyyyy!!!!#gonna see what i'm taking rn actually. chronicle it#taking literary theory + criticism ; us literature 1 ; folklore and mythology ; sacred texts ; nd emerging lit in global context#on the waitlist for the emerging lit one. but i am first on the waitlist so. it's practically my class already#absolutely no doubt that someone will drop if i'm not just allowed to crash#even if i don't get it it's no big deal though honestly! it would be my only tuesday/thursday class so i wouldn't have to be on campus...#spending five days a week on campus is pretty silly. i got through it last semester but it'd be nice not to have that#nd i'm at 18 units with that class so if i don't take it i'll be back down to 15 which is totally reasonable#bracken's favorite hobby is actually being completely insane with his school + work schedule#18 units and i'm still like 'yeah i wanna work 20 hours though'#you have clinical issues. shut up.#anyway hopefully i'll be able to work 20 hours a week on top of this sdkfjghdsf#if monica gives me morning shifts! i can do that easy peasy (afternoon shifts are 5 hours instead of 3 and a half now. kiss kiss)#so two + a half afternoon shifts a week and a couple morning shifts... we're so set#'bracken when will you have time to do homework' that's a problem for me to solve by just not having free time <3#one of my classes is asynchronous so. ha. haha. i'm sure i'll have appropriate amounts of time to do work.#mondays + wednesdays i have class straight from 1:30 to 7 but it's FINE! it's FINE!#i'm sure i will be very reasonable about it#i got through my three hour 5-8 film lecture last semester. so i can do anything#would i prefer morning classes? oh absolutely. but having the morning for homework will still be good for me#so excited to be back in school i love school so much#( <â has been in school this whole time w/ summer classes )#OH MY GOD I WAS GONNA SAY THOUGH. I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED TO TAKE FOLKLORE AND MYTHOLOGY#anyway#valentine notes
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good morning !!! i hope everyone has a great day and even better week !! ^_^
#woke up at like 5:30 for no reason and am in a v good mood !!#also i did my nails yesterday in the first time in forever n feelin brand new LOL#feeling like a morning person rn and itâs strange#i wonder if iâm overtired LMFAO#anyway time for work <3#âş. Ę aims lore É âË
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i'm sorry but. ykw the next time i hear someone tell me that i have ADHD and (suspected) autism bc i have low emotional intelligence + all i need to do to get rid of my additional (possibly) EDS-induced joint pain is to think happy thoughts and take zinc supplements. istfg i will smash their kneecaps with a spike-ended baseball bat and put them outside in the rain. naked, and without painkillers. how's that for happy thoughts
#rant coming in the tags pls do be warned â#can you tell i'm pretty pissed off rn. is it that obvious#i'm sorry i had to sit through this sh*t for at least three hours OK#'have you tried empathy :) i don't think you understand what people are feeling :) go to bed at nine see if that helps'#bitch. mf*cker. (derogatory in the highest sense)#i remember being five years old having to drag myself out of bed at 5:30 to go to school and almost walking into the road#on the campus bc i couldn't f*cking see.#sunshine??? in my eyes??? with my photosensitivity??? carnage and bloodshed. 56 killed 784 wounded#i have tried going to bed at nine o'f*cking clock for years now. every single f*cking time i only fall asleep after 3 in the morning#i tried sleep therapy to make me become a morning person#and it f*cked me up so bad that year we're not even going to talk about that#so uh. if i want to f*ck you up rn i feel like i have every right to do so#did i mention this person said in the same breath that i probably don't have autism bc i'm 'too normal' most of the time#*inhales*#*exhales*#Jessica. it's called masking JESSICA
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i need to take a shower. it will fix me.
#i know it will help bc i am so. bleh#i have felt very crunkly all day#i worked the weirdest shift ever this morning#5-8:30#which was actually incredibly pleasant#like what the fuck i've never worked such a tiny shift#but i loved it#it was like having the entire day off#i would usually work 5-1 or 2 soooo yeah it was really fun#like walking around in the fall air in the morning.... wtf#it was so lovely too bc it's like peak fall rn#this really is our last week of fall here so i'm trying to enjoy it#before everything freezes this weekend
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im un sure if i should sleep in tomorrow bc i have homework to do but i also have 3 events happening tmrw back to back..........decisions decisions
#.txt#help#im at work rn nd wont be out till like 10:30-11pm#tmrw i got 2 cup sleeve events back to back starting from 2:45pm#the second cupsleeve i should get home ideally no later than 5:45 nd im leaving the house again to see spiderverse live in concert#like at 6:30#so not a lot of down time at all#prob just enough time ti grab a bite nd change my clothes#nd so my first thought was ok sleep in nd take the moring easy since ill be booked from 2:45 to like 9-10 nd ill be dead after#but i also have a whole 20 pages to read for my engloish class and an assignment based on the reading#and i have an insanley long studyguide to fill out for a big test on tuesday#and i dont have to do the study guide tmrw bc i have the test tuesday but idk im stressesd its gonna b a very hard test so i wanna study#but i made these plans all way before the sem started lol#im very excited for tmrw i just am not sure if i should take a break tmrw morning or not#im leaning towards taking a break honestly nd just grinding on sunday
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