#my gay heart was going wild the entire time

[alittlelessalone]

Okay, so I just got back from a trip to Japan and I went to the restaurant that inspired Sia La Luce and I just need to share my experience (and photos) with everyone!!!

First of all, look at their Joe shrine! It's right on the bar and always on display! Also glad they added a Cherry. Can't have a shrine to Joe without him!

And the second our waitress saw my sk8 phone straps, she pointed them out and said we could get some photos after our meal. I assumed she meant I could snap a few, but then she let us go up to the bar and started positioning us. Even the cook joined in! They were both so nice about it and found my excitement really endearing (the waitress even snapped a picture of me to keep for the restaurant). I censored these for posting online, but you can be 100% certain I'll be showing them off to all my friends!

Then, our waitress brought out a Sk8 art book to show us our table was right next to the outlet where Carla was charged! (Lol, look at my mini-Carla go!)

And this one wasn't pointed out to me, but apparently I'm gay enough that I recognized the picture. And I was right! Look! It's the same one!!!!

So yeah, overall it was a really great experience! The food was great, the staff were super friendly (even if they didn't speak much English and my Japanese is also pretty limited). I'm so glad my friend and I decided to do this (and grateful she went along with it since she hasn't seen Sk8 yet). We did a ton of really incredible things in Japan, but this had to be the one with the potential for the most awkward moments, but it ended up just being a really fun and wholesome time. 100% recommend going to Cucina Italiana Tamanaha if you're going to Okinawa. As long as you're respectful and actually eat a meal there, I think other fans will also have a really great time!

[maybe-boys-do-love]

It's wild that the whole global trend of gay-focused happy ending romance shows and movies has only been going on for *looks at calendar* a measly ten years!

Just ten years ago. 2014. That's when you get the discovery of a market for queer romance series and films with happy endings. That year the OG Love Sick in Thailand came out. Brazil puts out The Way He Looks, which deserves so much more credit than it receives for influencing the aeshtetics of the genre. Looking premieres on HBO, and although it had low ratings, it's an important touchstone. And, despite Nickelodeon’s censorship and shifting the program from tv to its website, the Legend of Korra confirms Korrasami in its season finale.

The next year, in 2015, we get Love Sick season 2, and China, pre-censorship laws has a few options: Happy Together (not the Wong Kar Wai one lol), Mr. X and I, and Falling In Love with a Rival. Canada, premieres Schitt's Creek. In the US, Steven Universe reveals Garnet as a romantic fusion between two female characters, and will proceed to just be so sapphic. Norwegian web series Skam premieres and sets up a gay protagonist for its third season, which will drop in 2016 and entirely change the global media landscape.

Then, 2016! This is the MOMENT. That aforementioned Skam season happens. Japan puts out the film version of Ossan's Love and anime series Yuri!!! on Ice. China has the impactful Addicted Heroine, which directly leads to increased censorship. The US has Moonlight come out and take home the Oscar. In Thailand, GMMTV enters the BL game and Thai BL explodes: Puppy Honey, SOTUS, Water Boyy, Make It Right, plus, the Thai Gay OK Bangkok, which, like its influence, Looking, is more in the queer tradition but introduces two dramatically important directors to the Thai BL industry, Aof and Jojo.

By 2017, Taiwan enters the game with its History series. Korea’s BL industry actually kicks off with Method and Long Time No See. Thailand’s got too many BLs to mention. Call Me By Your Name, though not a happy ending, makes a big splash that will send ripples through the whole genre, and God's Own Country offers a gruff counter-argument to problematic age differences and twink obsessions. This is also the year of Netflix reboot of One Day At a Time bringing some wlw to the screen, and the Disney Channel has a main character come out as ‘gay’ on Andi Mack ( I’m am ready to throw fists with anyone who thinks the Disney Channel aesthetic isn’t a part of current queer culture). And I'd be remiss not to mention the influential cult-following of chaotic web-series The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo: "Sometimes things that are expensive...are worse."

All this happened, and we hadn’t even gotten to Love, Simon, Elite, or ITSAY, yet.

Prior to all this there are some major precursors some of which signaled and primed a receptive market, others influenced the people who'd go on to create the QLs. Japan has a sputtering start in the 2010s with a few BL films (Takumi-Kun, Boys Love, and Jujoun Pure Heart). Most significantly in the American context, you have Glee, and its ending really makes way for the new era that can center gay young people in a world where queerness, due to easy access to digital information, is less novel to the characters. And the QL book and graphic novel landscape was way ahead of the television and film industries, directly creating many of the stories that the latter industries used.

There's plenty of the traditional queer media content (tragic melodramas and independent camp comedies) going on prior to and alongside QL, and there are some outlying queer romance films with happy endings that precede the era but feel very much akin to QL genre tropes and goals, many with a focus on postcolonial and multicultural perspectives (Saving Face, The Wedding Banquet, Big Eden, Maurice, My Beautiful Launderette, and Weekend). I don't mean to suggest that everything I’ve listed ought to be categorized as QL.

Rather, I want to point out how all of these new-era queer romance works are in a big queer global conversation together, in the creation of a new contemporary genre, a genre that has more capacity and thematic interest to include digital technology and normalize cross-cultural relationships than other genres (there's a reason fansubs and web platforms are so easily accepted and integrated to the proliferation of these series).

You're not too late to be part of the conversation. Imagine being alive in the 1960s and 70s and participating in the blossoming of the sci-fi genre. That flowering is where gay romance sits now. Join the party.

[byfulcrums]

Seeing people saying that Satoru doesn't actually care about Suguru and that the only reason Kenjaku caught him was bc he was surprised to see a person he killed alive is fucking wild, man

Like. Gojo's entire life revolves around Geto. The entire series happens because he loved Suguru too much to kill him, even though he knew he would have to do it eventually. The world literally went to shit because he wasn't over him

Geto Suguru's life would be completely unimportant to the story without Gojo Satoru, and Gojo Satoru's would be completely unimportant without Geto Suguru. They complement each other. They need each other

Two male betta fishes can't coexist. They will fight and one will die. They can't see each other — even if they're in different tanks, they won't be able to live. They'd eventually tire each other out, resulting in death. The only way for Satoru and Suguru's lives to be able to continue without the other would've been for them to never have met at all. And they can't be together. Not now, not ever again. Not while they're still alive. Not after everything that's happened

The entire story revolves around their relationship. Yuuji is a boy who ate a curse('s finger[s]), and Megumi is the prodigy who befriends him. Satoru is a prodigy, the strongest, and Suguru, the boy whose technique is eating curses, befriends him. The Jujutsu Kaisen story is all about parallels and they all connect to fucking Satosugu. It's all about them

The only reason Kenjaku's plan worked is because the body he used didn't belong to some random person Gojo killed, it worked because the body he used was Geto Suguru's, Gojo's one and only, his best friend. He must be thinking “Thank god they're gay” right now lmao

Gojo fucking hesitated. He hesitated multiple times when it came to Geto. He was supposed to kill him, yet he let him go. He has the Six Eyes, he could've easily tracked him down. He probably could tell if he was nearby (he can recognize Suguru from his scent) and just didn't go looking for him. And he could've so very easily escaped the trap that was set up for him, he was going to run away from it because we see him about to take that step but then Suguru's body shows up and says “Yo, Satoru!” with Suguru's voice and Satoru freezes and hesitates

They weren't able to let go of each other even after years of being separated (like a decade). When they meet, Suguru still greets Satoru warmly

Suguru is pretty much Satoru's moral code. He was the only person Satoru took at least mildly seriously pre-Toji (and we know Satoru just didn't do serious back then). He actually took his words to heart. He was kind, of course (especially from Suguru's PoV, since he's the person that knows him most), and not a bad person, but he wasn't nice. Suguru was always the ‘nice(r) one’, the one who actually had a moral code, while Satoru was more of an asshole to literally everyone and everything (some more, some less), thinking he and Suguru were above everyone else

When Suguru finally snaps (which, honestly. Fair) and goes genocidal (not so fair), Satoru slowly starts to be somewhat nicer and starts applying Suguru's old moral code to his own being — their roles weren't exactly reversed, but now they're not together anymore, so they might as well be. And Suguru was shown for having faith in the school and its system while it was Satoru the one who absolutely abhorred the higher-ups and all kinds of authority, but then it ended up with Suguru being the one to leave and become a cult leader with the blood of hundreds on his hands while Satoru was the one that stayed behind in the same place of the people he despises so much

(Imagine someone saying something like “Sometimes I doubt you even have a moral code” and Gojo answers with “Oh, my best friend my one and only is pretty much my moral code. He went homicidal a while back but it's okay haha” “...Actually, that explains a few things”)

Gojo doesn't have a god complex, but I wouldn't blame him if he did. I mean, he might as well be the closest thing to god human beings have ever seen. He used to put himself above everyone else, when he was a teenager. He thought that, the higher he was, the more he could do. And no one was better than him. But not Suguru. Back then, it wasn't “I'm the strongest” it was “We're the strongest and “We're the best” and “We're the ones that will beat you” and “We're the duo” and it was all about “us, us, us, us, us” instead of “me, me, me, me” like people thought it was — they were a pair. They still are

We know people thought and still think of Gojo as a weapon. As something that must be controlled, because on the moment he decides he doesn't want to be around them anymore, he could just straight up kill then without any effort (but getting rid of people in positions of power only gets other people in positions of power and it'll be a neverending story, and Gojo knows this so he's trying to do his best to fix it all through the younger generation, by letting them live). And we also know that Suguru is one of the very few people who did not believe that at all

Like their personalities and characters and stories and literally everything, their names complement each other. Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru are such similar names, I get them mixed up all the time (the amount of times I've called them “Gojo Suguru” and “Geto Satoru” is embarassing. Also, “Saturu”. “Goto”. “Gejo”. Ugh). Both of their last names start with a G, end with an O and have 4 letters. Both of their given names start with an S, end with an U and have 6 letters. They complement each other. They need each other

The only times we've seen Gojo with an expression of actual pure, raw emotion is when it's about Geto. When he finds out about what Geto did, when he realizes how thin and wrong Geto looks, when he sees him again for what we assume to be the first time in years, when he dies, when a thing wearing his corpse and using his voice greets him (“Yo, Satoru!” oh my god)

Suguru was able to fight back when in Kenjaku's control after Satoru said his name. Kenjaku himself says that had never happened before

And you don't even have to see them as romantic. You don't have to ship them if you don't want to. But you can't deny that they care about each other more than they will ever care about anyone else

[dangerous-disposition]

47. “When I picture myself happy… It’s with you.” 💕💕

YES! I'm still working on asks from THIS ask game, and I absolutely will be happy to receive more (since I'm using these prompts as exercises to write short shit without context to overcome my pathological need to write So Much Context)

[ NOW ON AO3 ]

There was something distinctly heartbreaking about playing wingman for the guy who made you believe in the entire concept of soulmates, Eddie thinks as he leans against the trunk of Steve Harrington's Beemer. It's not even that he thinks they're soulmates, but what the dude has with Robin is really convincing. And maybe Eddie is pretty sure Steve is his soulmate, even platonically, even if that thought makes his pining ass want to vomit.

He refuses to pine after a straight man for eternity, and yet...

What's stupid is that Eddie is a shit wingman, so it doesn't even make sense that Steve keeps taking him out with him to bars and shit. Half the women that wanted to even approach Steve were afraid of Eddie, and the other half were fucking mean to him which lost Steve's favour immediately which... hey, Eddie couldn't complain too much about that.

But still, that meant that Steve was striking out every single time and Eddie was feeling bad about it because he was happy about it. He got to spend a whole evening with Steve and sometimes they would spend the night together because Eddie's place was closer and Steve was too tired to drive all the way home. Eddie could pretend this was a real date, that Steve Harrington was dating him.

Jesus H. Christ, he was pathetic.

Steve sighs next to him. "Why is this so hard?" he asks, and at Eddie's questioning look, Steve elaborates, "Dating, getting laid, whatever you wanna call it?"

Eddie huffs a laugh, and shrugs. "Well, I mean, I think I've got it worse in that department, Stevie," he mutters, taking a drag of his cigarette. Steve's known about him being gay for months now, which makes it even more wild that the man still shared a bed with him and took him out to bars almost every Friday night. Tossing his cigarette onto the asphalt and stubbing it out with his boot, Eddie asks, "What are you even looking for?"

Steve pauses, staring at the ground. "Someone who makes me happy, who gets me, who wants to be with me, the real me, y'know?" he asks without even looking at Eddie, which is good because Eddie's sure the way his heart was breaking would be visible from fucking outer space.

Me, that's me, Stevie. Choose me. That's what Eddie wants to say, to shout and scream and even stomp his feet a bit because it's not fucking fair. He's all those things and more and he wanted to be that for Steve.

"Think you might be putting too high of standards too early on these poor girls, Stevie," Eddie laughs instead, grinning crookedly over at Steve and stopping short at the intense gaze being leveled back at him.

"See, that's the thing, Eds. I'm starting to think I've been looking for that in all the wrong places," Steve says seriously, shifting so he's standing in front of Eddie.

And Eddie is sure he's dreaming. He's actually fast asleep and he's going to wake up literally any second and this was all just some terrible dream thought up by his awful, gay, pining, stupid brain. Because it actually sounds like Steve, the love of Eddie's life, is about to confess something huge to him.

"What makes you say that?" Eddie croaks out before clearing his throat, glancing at Steve's lips before meeting his eyes.

"I've always had these big dreams about my life, what it'd look like if I wanted to be happy, and before I always thought of these grand things that involve a wife and a whole pack of kids," Steve says and Eddie feels his already shattered heart break even more.

Eddie manages to laugh, though, even if what he really wants is to crawl into bed and cry. "Okay, so now you're raising the bar even higher on these poor girls?" Eddie asks, shoving Steve's shoulder with his fist.

Steve isn't swayed. "You don't get it, Eds, that's not what I want anymore," he says, running his hands back through his hair. "That isn't what I imagine when I think about being happy."

"Then what do you imagine?" Eddie asks because, apparently, he's a huge fucking masochist.

"Eds... you're really going to make me say it out loud?" Steve asks, almost teasingly, and then he steps just a little bit closer.

Eddie's heart stops, once again struck by how not real this has to be. "Yeah, I'm gonna need you to say it with your outside voice, Stevie," Eddie says. "I'm not a mind reader."

Steve sighs heavily and puts his hands on his hips as he visibly considers his next words carefully. Something comes over his expression that takes Eddie's breath away, something fierce and brave and beautiful, and now the full force of it was turning on him when Steve's eyes meet his.

"When I picture myself happy," Steve starts, stepping close enough that the heat radiating off of him begins to warm Eddie's chilled skin. Steve lifts a hand to cup Eddie's jaw as he says, "It's with you, Eds."

Eddie blinks owlishly at Steve. "What?"

"I think I'm--I've been into you for months, and when you came out to me I got so hopeful, like I actually maybe stood a chance, which is obviously stupid. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you're into me but still," Steve rambles a bit as Eddie tries to form a coherent thought. Steve chews on his bottom lip and asks, "Eds? What do you--is this, like, okay?"

Eddie slaps himself in the face, just hard enough to sting, and Steve jumps.

"Eddie, what the hell?" Steve asks, bewildered.

"Sorry, just checking that I'm not dreaming. Pinching wouldn't've been enough to wake me up from a dream this good," Eddie breathes, twisting his hand in the front of Steve's polo and pulling him close. "You mean that, Stevie? You want me?"

"More than I've wanted anything in my life," Steve confesses easily, and he stumbles when Eddie gently shoves him back.

"Then take me home and we can make out about it in private, yeah?" Eddie suggests, grinning as he scrambles to get into the passenger seat of the Beemer.

When Steve gets into the car, he's grinning, and Eddie leans across the center console. "One kiss for the road?" he asks, batting his lashes up at Steve.

"Absolutely," Steve agrees, and then their mouths slotted together perfectly, like they were made to be kissing each other all along.

And yeah, Eddie was really starting to believe in soulmates actually...

Thank you again for sending me this ask!!! Send me more of these fun prompts? Also, if you like my writing, please consider checking out writing blog -> @gerrystamour

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 20

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

hello hello! As promised the tattoo reveal.

I survived getting half my sleeve lined but boy am I sore. Tattoos on your hand are the absolute pits. Like no joke, hand tattoos are rough my guys. 10/10 do not recommend, but I'm doing it because it looks cute LOL.

This tattoo will be a tea themed sleeve. Featured on this half: hibiscus, chamomile, green tea leaves, raspberries + raspberry leaf, and lemons. I have another appointment in December and January to get the shading done but for now just lines!

I did not have tea with this chapter but that is okay- let's get into the notes!

I was so hung up on Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu's relationship that I totally forgot an entire war is brewing. Well. Here we go LOL

unrelated but important question- what is their ship name???

Okay we are starting the chapter strong with SQQ's gay panic LOL Re: SQQ lying to himself, the reader, and the gods about him actually meaning that he missed the light of his life LBH p241

These two!!!!! "Then why didn't you come look for this master inside the dream realm" p242

"Whenever Shizun is at Cang Qiong Mountain" Luo Binghe said quietly, "When Shizun is with other people, he always smiles so happily. So I thought you wouldn't miss me". p243 This guy is the absolute master manipulator or he just requires unlimited amounts of reassurance. Either way My HEART!

The cat and mouse game at this point is wild. Really Shen Qingqiu needs to figure his shit out because the "accidental" flirting is horse shit. p245

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 "Why does it sound like i've become your father" p246. NO THANKS. But also no wonder it feels weird as fuck- SQQ does not want to be LBH's daddy (in that way).

OOP! FINALLY. Luo Binghe is totally sus about SQQ's knowledge about the future and other things he really shouldn't know. I really hope it's revealed that he is from another world and Luo Binghe is chill with it. p248

Liu Qingge walks into any room in which SQQ was seemingly alone: p250

This is a side note but I really like Qi Qingqi, this woman is fierce as fuck. Like no nonsense I would 100% trust her with my life, death, and rebirth. I do suspect that she doesnt play a large role in the story but I wish she was present more. I do totally want to eventually read some fics with her in them because she is such a badass. p254

Dang! So the realm merging begins! I am sad though that they don't want SQQ to go, but I get it; he keeps running away or getting grievously injured. Also it's so weird that no one is really questioning how he has this much knowledge of future events, they just kind of accept it and run with it LOL (except Luo Binghe who has done the most questioning). pp256-257

Xuan Su is so fucking cool!!!!! p257

Well I am sure that LBH reputation points will increase now that he's saved Zhao Hua Monastery! p260 Thank fuck too, because I really wasn't seeing a positive end game for him and SQQ if he wasn't able to turn his reputation around.

This cheeky guy LOL "Shizun I have missed you, it's been so long" like the fool wasn't sitting in his lap the night before LOL pp261-262

SO AWKWARD LOL. LBH telling everyone who is important that he only cares for SQQ and will only do what SQQ wants him to do and will do absolutely anything for him. Meanwhile SQQ: . I DIED: "Peak Lord Shen has truly raised a good disciple. He's become our cultivation world's tremendous fortune." Though he said "raised a good disciple" the tone was no different from the way he might say "married a good husband." pp262-263

Well. I thought it was embarrassing before, but then we get hit with the "Luo Binghe nodded solemnly. "Yes." His face spread into a smile. "And Shizun is mine.". p265

I really love every conversation between SQH and SQQ. The understanding they have and the banter is so good pp266-267

LOL LBH : I am sooooo tired, let me fly with you? p268

LBH really is shameless! The public hand holding!!! Now it makes me want to read fics from LBH POV- we get SQQ this entire time, but I want to see what LBH has going on in there LOL. p269

He really was yeeted

RIP SQH. May you not die in that hole. pp270-271

[rocks-in-space]

TRUE FRIENDS

1. A Little Life, Hanya Yanagihara // 2. "Ribs," Lorde // 3. "Catalog of Unabshed Gratitude," Ross Gay // 4. Unknown // 5. "Contradictions: Tracking Poems No. 28," Adrienne Rich // 6. @kit-tempo // 7. "Ribs," Lorde // 8. You Don't Have to Like Me: Essays on Growing Up, Speaking Out, and Finding Feminism, Alida Nugent // 9. "It Will Come Back," Hozier // 10. Unknown // 11. The Snow Queen, Hans Christen Andersen // 12. A History of My Brief Body, Billy-Ray Belcourt // 13. Us Against You, Fredrik Backman // 14. "The Essence of Peopling," Sarah Perry.

The Wizard, the Witch, and the Wild One web weaves:

Eursulon Suvi Ame

[Image IDs:

Image 1: Text reading, “Wasn’t friendship its own miracle, the finding of another person who made the entire lonely world seem somehow less lonely? Wasn’t this house, this beauty, this comfort, this life a miracle?”

Image 2: Text in all caps reading, "You're the only friend I need / sharing beds like little kids / and laughing 'til our ribs get tough / but that will never be enough."

Image 3: Text reading, "I just want us to be friends now, forever. / Take this bowl of blackberries from the garden. / The sun has made them warm. / I picked them just for you."

Image 4: Text in all caps reading, "Let's go to the garden. / Let's be kids again. / I'll chase you if you / chase me."

Image 5: Text reading, "We'll dream of a longer summer / but this is the one we have: / I lay my sunburnt hand / on your table: this is the time we have."

Image 6: Text reading, "The trauma unmakes me at the end of the summertime,"

Image 7: Text reading, "This dream isn't feeling sweet / We're reeling through the midnight streets / And I've never felt more alone / It feels so scary getting old."

Image 8: Text reading, "You still crave lemonade, but the taste doesn’t satisfy you as much as it used to. You still crave summer, but sometimes you mean summer, five years ago."

Image 9: Text reading, "I've known the warmth of your doorways / through the cold, I'll find my way back to you."

Image 10: Text reading, "What now? What comes / after the tragedy? / What choice is there but to keep going, despite? / You remember the good times, I know you do. / That beautiful summer we met in. I've lost my / tenderness since then, don't you agree?"

Image 11: Text reading, "And they both sat there, grown up, yet children at heart; and it was summer, - warm, beautiful summer."

Image 12: Text reading, "To love someone is to firstly confess: I'm prepared to be devastated by you."

Image 13: Text reading, "The best friends of our childhoods are the loves of our lives, and they break our hearts in worse ways."

Image 14: Text reading, "In conclusion, drink tea, together with your friends; pay attention to the tea, and to your friends, and pay attention to your friends paying attention to the tea. Therein lies the meaning of life."

end ID.]

[freddiemerqwerty]

It took over two years, but I finally finished watching the entirety of Supernatural. I took a week to process some thoughts before foisting them upon Tumblrland, so here we go!

I did not expect to like it. Specifically the ending.

The original reason this Supernatural rewatch began was to see Castiel's confession in context. I wanted to see what drove Tumblr's primary form of newscasting, what got the Supernatural fandom back from the depths of superhell, and thrust the bury your gays queerbaiting discussion to the forefront of every YouTube video essay—and to potentially seek justice for my first ever gay ship, good ol' Destiel. It is for this reason that I wholeheartly did not expect leave 15 seasons of this fucking show feeling content.

This was a hard task. I wanted to stop so badly. I don't think I could tell you a single season I liked the plot of. HOWEVER, it did teach a valuable lesson: if you're looking for good representation in Supernatural, you're looking in the wrong place. This applies to even to show's representations of itself.

Supernatural should have ended 11 seasons before it did, and yet, much like nearly every character in the show, it just keeps on coming. Season 12 nearly did me in, but oh? Season 13-15? It was worth it to get to the seasons where the target demographic was literally anyone who would watch the show. The main plot? Nope. The filler? Yes. I loved so many episodes from these seasons! Scoobynatural, Advanced Thanatology, Tombstone, The Scorpion and the Frog, Various & Sundry Villains, Optimism, Peace of Mind, Atomic Monsters, Golden Time, Last Call, The Heroes' Journey, The Gamblers, Last Holiday.

Cass's confession made me absolutely bawl my eyes out for the remaining episodes of Supernatural (I was a blubbering little ball, throwing in a good few mutterings about Our Flag Means Death along the way) However, in the end, it just felt right that it should end this way. Not in terms of good queer representation, not in terms of my love of Destiel, but this is what the characters each needed.

Death means nothing on Supernatural because of the ways characters need each other to keep going. Cass telling Dean how he feels means he can let go. Dean getting permission from Sam to stop fighting death means he can let go. Sam living out a full life away from hunting means he can let go. All the characters have what they need so we as an audience can let go.

As much as I will still very much struggle to sit through the main plot points of Supernatural, the characters will always have a place in my heart. They just couldn't die, couldn't fully fit the original format of the show, and just kept finding family (and trauma) in literally everything. I'm glad they're resting well.

I final note I absolutely had to include: DEAN IS SO BISEXUAL THE ENTIRE SHOW! I somehow thought "oh maybe we've been exaggerating this". No, no. I—I... I have problems now. Problems that can only be resolved with getting back into the Supernatural fandom.

Thank you for a wild ride Supernatural. Destiel forever

[lavender-rosa]

Kny characters + most traumatizing internet experiences

(modern au obvi)

That time Nezuko sent Tanjirou a text that said "look at this adorable video of a puppy and a raccoon being friends!!!! :0 🌸" but then when he clicked on it, it was the music video for the song "never gonna give you up" by Rick Astley. Why would Nezuko do this to him?

When Douma left his laptop open for Akaza to accidentally read some of the replies to his most recent tweet. He doesn't even know what those comments meant, but they were scary.

When Douma texted Akaza and Kokushibou a link to an article that talked about a gruesome murder that took place in the town like thirty years ago, with the caption " omg do u guys think ur house is haunted ? O-O" Akaza replied "Douma why are you being so ridiculous" but Kokushibou, who has always been personally convinced that his house is haunted, felt a chill run down his spine...

That time Shinobu sent Giyuu a text that said "giyuu have you seen the latest mitski mv" but then when he clicked on it, it was the music video for the song "never gonna give you up" by Rick Astley.

Sanemi taking the "Am I Gay?" quiz at 3am and then promptly deleting his browser history and attempting to set his computer on fire for good measure, setting off his smoke alarm and waking up the entire house, for which he had no good explanation other than the wholly unbelievable lie that he was trying to lit a scented candle but his hand slipped and landed on his computer keyboard instead.

When Zenitsu made Tanjirou listen to some of Kaigaku's soundcloud rap and instead of finding it funny like Zenitsu assumed he would it gave Tanjirou such a bad migraine he actually started crying.

When Gyutaro is accidentally in the background of one of Daki's selfies and a couple of her ig comments are "who's that guy behind u ????" leading him to fear that they would track him down, invade his home and tear him apart like a pack of wild animals. Daki said "uh...that's definitely not going to happen" but based on what he knows of her following, he maintains it's a likely possibility ok????

When Tanjirou had strep throat and couldn't read aloud to Muichirou like he usually does and Genya, out of the kindness of his heart, offered to sub in, and Muichirou made him read all 38 chapters of "My Immortal" to him, insisting that Tanjirou would do this for him, and therefore if he doesn't that means he is a bad friend.

That time Uzui sent Rengoku a text that said "hey i read this article regarding an unlimited free pizza coupon winning competition i thought you might find interesting, tell me what you think" but then when he clicked on it, it was the music video for the song "never gonna give you up" by Rick Astley.

And last but not least: When Kaigaku left his laptop open for Zenitsu to accidentally read his latest reddit post. Terrifying stuff.

[ren-rambles-often]

I finally watched Code Geass but before I get to my short rant about the show and the ship you can pretty much guess this is about…. Let me just say….

This show peaked at the pseudo incest brocon subplot, I'm taking no arguments!

Fine, fine, that's definitely not entirely true but Rolo's death had me pausing the show and staring at the screen like for what reason?! Let the boy be hopelessly obsessed goddammit 😭😭😭

Now I've gotten that out of my system…

Guess who's the character I hate most?

shocker I know/sarc

I haven't hated one half of my otp ship in a piece of media this much since that one Episode Nagi panel of Reo's heart getting destroyed by Nagi's dumbass (Reo my love love I'd treat you so much better)

Suzaku's case is worse by several degrees because his idiocy and attitude only continued to stoke the flames of my annoyance for the whole two fucking seasons until like the three or two episodes at the end cause oh my fucking God I cried.

(That shit was a wild ride enough nothing is making me watch any spin offs or side stories I care that little)

From the first moment he entered that Lancelot suit and agreed to help the side that attempted to silence him by murder, I clocked his ass and marked him as the dumbest bitch to ever exist but we love a protective loyal dog Top don't we ladies?

"I want to change the system from the inside-" bitch shut up these are colonizers you ain't changing nothing 😭

Even after they they tried pining the murder on him to sentence him to death AGAIN!! BOY WENT BACK.

AND!

He refused Zero?!

HUH?!?

Now I'm not a particularly patriotic person (I hate my county so so much) but if we got neo colonized, No matter what merits I would never be friendly or cooperative with the other side.

Suzaku stopped his country fighting back (valid reason or not I don't remember, he killed his dad and that meant surrender ig) and proceeded to kiss up to brits, fall in love with one of them, and further hinder every attempt of his own people fighting back because 'Violence wrong' but it's okay when he does it because some made up ideal told him being subservient would make a change. And it did….just for him tho, all other 11s? no one cares.

And it didn't even matter because Lulu's methods were always the ones that brought things closer!

I know it's a kind of a commentary on something, I ain't stupid but I was still pissed.

Literally had me gritting my teeth almost every time he stepped on screen, especially when he went pseudo emo after becoming a knight of round or whatever.

Bottom line, he frustrated me as much as he did Lelouch but I still wanted to see them FUCK.

The last couple of episodes where genuinely the best things I've ever watched and a brilliant end to the series. I wouldn't say I grew to enjoy all the characters but God did the plot threads keep me going.

Trust I understood very little about the gate shit and the killing God aspect but when you're having a fun time everything just looks good.

To sum up SuzaLulu…

Giving me friends to enemies to lovers (correct me not I won't hear you) All mixed together with the palpable hatred and vitriol they held toward each other is just too much.

And Lelouch as a bottom is literally my type >.< psycho, pretty, and bad at sports (also having a natural inclination to dominate others)??? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!!!

His dramatic ass had me gripped and his personality contrasted so beautifully with Suzaku's dumbass that while I did want to be sad about that redhead he might have liked dying….girl bye 👋 make way for the gay 🏳️‍🌈

(Srsly tho, I was sad for a sec, it was a very shocking scene to say the least but Rolo pulled such a Brocon move I was laughing for a solid minute.)

I very much didn't want to be like most other yaoi shippers that watched this shit when they were ten and went for the very obvious but still delicious low hanging fruit yaoi but I see enemies to lovers mixed with tragic yaoi and an undeniably fun story and brain stops functioning lmaooo. Turns out I'm very much like other fujins ;p

Closing thoughts: Umm…If you're going to defend Suzaku in the replies…go for it I'm down to listen but he'll forever be my bitch. I love Lelouch but Light is better, Orange x Lelouch is underratedand C.C. and Kallen should have gotten married.

[versegm]

If you read indie books play indie games listen to indie musik or generally appreciate any form of art by lesser-known people my challenge for you is to comment on this post with at least one recommendation for a work you wish was better-known. The more obscure it is the better.

For now here are some of mine:

Love Letter - 18+ Trans-Gay Zine. It's all in the title, a short zine on being a trans dude who loves other dudes.

Inuit Uppirijatuqangit - ᐃᓄᐃᑦ ᐅᑉᐱᕆᔭᑐᖃᖏᑦ. "A hidden object game in which users explore 4 unique areas in and around an Inuit community." Short game to learn native myths & sayings.

Longsummer Night, an anthology of monster romances. It's got like fifteen stories there's got to be SOMETHING you'll like in here (personally I would have paid full price for "Labris" alone this shit blew my tits off)

Player Two is Unprepared, a one-page satyrical RPG making fun of ya boy Ready Player One. It's fucking hilarious I was giggling the entire time I read this.

The Unicorn's Beard, a short story about a doctor being hired to take care of the queen's unicorn.

Pine Sap, a poetry collection. "That's just the heart talking, you can never trust those. pick a more stable organ to listen to, like the spleen, or the gallbladder” lives rent-free in my head.

A Strip of Velvet, a 18+ monster romance featuring hunters and old gods.

Fire and Wolf, the book I won't shut the fuck up about, YA sci-fi/fantasy about kids accidentally pulling an NPC out of a VR videogame.

Btw if yourself dabble in creative endeavors you can self promote on this post too go wild.

[aurorawest]

I finished The Mars House last night and have been trying to gather my thoughts beyond ADJFAWEHDHA; and AHHHHHHHH. Let's see how this works out.

In a lot of ways this is a pretty typical Natasha Pulley book, which makes you love complicated people who have done bad things, possibly for good reasons and possibly not. The love interest is to all appearances a xenophobic nationalist, but you better believe I loved Gale pretty much immediately.

In other ways this book is different from her past work—obviously there's the far future setting, but it's pretty clear that Pulley wanted to Say Something about gender with The Mars House. This book is a response to and shots fired at the terf ideology and it is not at all subtle about it. And of course, it's a Natasha Pulley book, so there's still empathy for the far-future Martian terfs.

So I would definitely call it the most...political? of her books, which for me was not at all a bad thing. It has everything that I love about Pulley novels—her gorgeous use of language, her ability to wring beauty and pathos out of the small and ordinary, the gay pining, the morally dubious main characters. I've seen reviews say both that the science is ridiculous and that the book is hard science fiction, and I would come down on the side of the science probably being a bit ridiculous, since it's definitely not hard science fiction (lol at the reviewers who are throwing that term around and not knowing what it means). I actually have no idea if the science is plausible or not and I honestly don't care, because that's really not the point of the book.

Anyway, now I'm just going to list things. Doing a read more for spoilers! And I'm not joking, I'm going to spoil the whole book under here so really, if you haven't read it and you care about that, don't keep reading.

The worldbuilding was so good. I mean, this is one of Pulley's strengths, but I had wondered how it would stack up in a sci fi novel versus her historical fiction. As usual, everything was so visceral and textured. Tharsis and Songshu feel like real places I could visit.

THE MAMMOTHS OMG OMG. When they decided to ask the mammoths for help pulling up the gravity train, I almost jumped up from the couch yelling (I would have, but I couldn't disturb my cat who was on my legs). The entire idea of communicating with mammoths and studying mammoth society almost made me cry. Having spent even a tiny amount of time around elephants in the wild, all of that rang 100% plausible. And true in my heart.

I need a sequel where River and January go to Alpha Centauri to talk to the aliens that the Penglai mission is going to find there.

I'M ABOUT TO SPOIL THE ENTIRE BOOK SO DON'T READ ANYMORE IF YOU DON'T WANT THAT.

Speaking of River, yeah I guessed that "Aubrey" was actually River. The clues were well done and I felt smug when I was right.

But!! I actually thought River knew more than they did! A literal chill went up my back when River revealed they had NO IDEA AUBREY WAS LITERALLY IN THEIR ROOM WITH THEM.

The scene in River's bathtub had me screaming crying throwing up.

Is Natasha Pulley working through something re: waifish orphans? I knew Yuan was going to end up being adopted into House Song within pages of their (his?) introduction.

I love that we never find out if River is biologically male or female. I love that January says it doesn't matter and he means that and never tells us.

Speaking of gender abolition, can I have that please for myself.

All of the animals were, as always, a delight. Shoutout to the puffin at the beginning who we never see again, as well as Shuppiluliuma in her basket.

The ancient Mediterranean references littered through this book (see above) were also a delight.

When you think about it, both of Aubrey's consorts fell for River, and that's funny.

The flashes of love between River and Aubrey were devastating.

The haptic implants are a dystopian nightmare and absolutely a realistic prediction of where we're going to end up.

Mori and Daughter!!

[someone-took-lost]

you thought i forgot about the main six? ohohoho good friendo, no i did not! next on the listerino was pinkcheese, and here are my big guys. shabam! i present thee~

as per disclaimer, my only keepers of these guys are rosè and arcadian wild. and the other two will be up for adoption in the next day or two or sooner!

rosè gold [she/they|nonbinary bisexual|oldest]

a fashion icon from a young age, rosè is the entrepreneur within her own home. while she retained her mother’s spunk, and father’s ambition- she didn’t seem to have that overly signature overly-excitable trait that one would assume she’d have. instead, became this quiet, calm, cunning pony. with a pension for trouble wherever she went, though one can attribute that to her parents always being so indulgent in her sparkling ideas. she dreams of being a fashion icon one day, and works closely along side her best friend, millennium. and with some elbow grease , she’ll find herself right on that fashion stage one day!

arcadian wild [he/him|pansexual|youngest]

the mellow arcadian , despite the wild part, he is a very relaxed guy. he took up his mother’s laid back attitude and seemed to take it to eleven, as he can often be found playing his ukulele out by the shore or propped against a pine tree. he’s a bit of an airhead, but he’s got a heart of gold that shines brightest when he’s embracing what nature’s got to offer. oftentimes, ponies will find the stallion in one city after seeing him in another, due to his habit of wandering quite far afield during his walks. that quickly turn into hikes after some idle thinking.

“hammy” sandwich [he/him|gay|youngest]

wild and a little bit reckless, this little guy is the peppy, little brother, who just keeps managing to get himself into every kind of trouble. he’s a little short sighted, but means well as he doves headfirst into every sort of problem with a determination that just doesn’t quit! he loves everyone around him with a passion, and will prove it in any way he can! even if he’s not the brightest, he will always find a way to work things out. no matter if he’s a little confused, and not entirely sure what the issue is- hammy is here to help!

cherry marzipan [she/her|lesbian|youngest]

stressed? who’s stressed!? not cherry! cherry is completely fine. all of the time. always. she is always in control, and in perfect harmony with herself. she is fine. even though the sugarcube corner is starting to get overly stocked with orders, and the cupcake recipe she promised to have ready isn’t, in fact, ready at all! she is not stressed at all! cherry takes a lot on her plate, and especially the reputation of being her mother’s daughter. and that has a tendency to stress her out a bit, with wanting to do her best. and make sure her mom’s standing is still good,,, she will not ruin it, ever. because she is also going to be an element of laughter one day, and no way, no how, is she going to let any of that go to waste! even if she’s so busy. she is going to do well! after a nice long power nap-

[sachermorte]

Ok, so then who did you actually name yourself after? Or was it the vibe that drew you in?

i've gotten two anons about this since I last checked my phone so this is the real story.

it was the third week of september in 2019 and I had just launched myself out of the united states after living there my entire life and getting my bachelor's in linguistics summa cum laude. I knew if I stayed there any longer I was going to die, and I'd had this supernatural surety that I was going to live a full life in vienna since I was nine years old at the oldest, so against the vehement objections of family I had accepted a teaching assistantship position jointly facilitated by the BMBWF and Fulbright Austria. before I began my misadventures, of which there have been many incredibly crazy bullshit stories you would never believe in a million years, I had to attend a week-long sleepaway orientation in a tourist town in Salzburg called Zell am See, where I would meet the other TAs (including someone who remains like a brother to me to this very day), learn what was expected of me, and drink quite literally and without exaggeration for every waking moment.

believe me when I say that this was fucking wild. we had classes in the morning to teach us how to do our jobs but we were pouring full bottles of vodka and gin in our water bottles and taking it to class with us. one of the hotel receptionists started supplying us with weed and pills. people were hooking up left right and center. I ended up at one point being dragged away without any greetings or explanation to make out with a lovely but very drunk british girl named holly in another room. believe me when I said that not a single one of us drew a solitary sober breath for the entire seven days straight.

so because they wanted us to acclimate culturally (which is unneeded because I've always been a dramatic, cranky, whiny, pessimistic, ambiguously gay complainer genau nach wiener art), one night they brought in a trio of dance teachers to teach us some traditional folk dancing. so we, being generally hospitable and gregarious taken as a whole, decided to invite these three to party with us that night.

we.

got.

HAMMERED.

this is the drunkest I've ever been without having to go to the hospital. and as the night proceeded it became exceedingly clear that one of the dance instructors could not hold his liquor, and what's more, had been going through some stuff as of late.

cut to the end of the night. the man who is now like a brother to me had given the dude, out of the kindness of his heart, nearly a full bottle of 7€ hofer brand gin, which he drank without a mixer in nearly one go. shortly after, this man had punched through not one, but two windows. the police had been called, and a friend of mine had managed to grab his phone and literally call his mother. someone else was guarding him to make sure he didn't break anything else, while he kept shouting "MIR IST SCHEIẞEGAL, MIR IST SCHEIẞEGAL" to anything and everything that was said to him.

this event lodged itself solidly in my short term, long term, and everyday working memory. I thought about this three or four times a week at bare minimum. not only because I considered it rather embarrassing and distasteful, but because I thought if you were going to be a good for nothing dipsomaniac (as I considered myself to be as well, even then), there were far more stylish ways to go about it.

when my egg shattered during quarantine his name was the one that wouldn't leave my head. when I went public with my transition, I received several messages from friends who had witnessed the event in question, going "did you really name yourself after That Fucking Guy. why"

to which of course I responded "mir ist scheißegal"

[moonshynecybin]

i don’t have a fic summary but ! lotr au in some way shape or form….. i need to know what our little guys would be doing in middle-earth (except for bezz and cele - i already know in my heart that they’re hobbits frolicking around, causing all sorts of mischief together)

this is my FAVORITE MOVIE. my little hobbit boys.... okay so like literally we MUST. make vale an elf king here right. like he HAS to be. maybe galadrielesque in the sense that he absolutely must play the gandalf role here as well as plot impetus and magical de facto sage of the party that occasionally fucks off to do wizard shit but still really cares about his hobbits (hobbits are all the academy boys sans luca who is also an elf and looks good doing it !). maybe pedrenzo also there to round out the gay ass gimli/legolas dynamic. marc is SO obviously the displaced boy prince of gondor to me... hes human. good with a blade and better with a horse. literally refuses to leave his brother's side...

so in this cele (WHO ELSE) gets left with the one ring and the academy boys plus vale set off on an ADVENTURE to help cast it into the fires of mordor... (bezz would make such a good samwise he loves his friends SOOOOO bad. literally cele voice bez im going alone. bez: of course you are but im coming with you !!!!) along the way they pick up marc, alex, and pedrenzo in rivendell but uh. uh-oh. it looks like im assigning vale a THIRD narrative role here as ARWEN bc him and marc are EX LOVERS who BROKE UP some indiscriminate amount of time ago due to vale attempting to give up his IMMORTALITY. and marc couldnt stomach that but vale couldnt stomach watching him DIE. so the vibes are truly wild the entire trip. especially with pedrenzo there lmao. like literally vale and marc looking at each other across a battlefield marc in polished armor glinting red with blood in the sunshine and vale in fine elf wear not a spot of grime anywhere near him. but still with those fucking sideburns. marc has NEVER!!! taken off the necklace vale gave him and its the brightest thing on the battelfield... the only way vale can make sure he's safe

meanwhile pan to bez carrying cele up a mountain in the most homoerotic way possible... talking about the flowers in the shire and the parties they had as boys... the ale they shared with pecco and mig and luca... wishing they had gotten up the courage to talk about their feelings before this whole mess started...

[he-thaang]

Care to share your thoughts on how Arcane ended? I'm dying to talk about it with someone!

(Also, I sincerely apologize that this is the first ask I've sent you)

Hey Bay! Thanks so much for the ask! I love hearing from you :)

I have so many thoughts about the Arcane ending. Let's go episode by episode, because there's just so much to unpack.

Episode 7 is my favorite episode in the entire series, I think. I have no notes. Ekko has been my favorite character since season 1, and I was thrilled to see the show finally give him the focus he deserves. Painting the mural of Vi, bonding with Heimerdinger, the doomed romance with the alternate version of Powder that allowed him to understand Jinx better--my god. So good. The scene where Ekko and Powder were dancing was definitely one of my favorite scenes ever.

And poor Jayce--my dude spent the whole episode in the trenches. But I thought the writers did a really great job with him this episode. His leg injury mirroring Viktor's, realizing that maybe he overstepped a bit too far with Hextech, all that fun stuff. The funniest part of the episode, though, was when Heimerdinger and Ekko were all prepped to go home, and then at the last possible second, Heimer LEAPS out of the wild rune and is like "Be back in a jiffy, my boy :)" and then gets himself blown up. He couldn't have done all that stuff before the process started? Poor guy. He exploded twice in the span of 40 minutes :(

All in all, loved the episode. I'm home from college, so as soon as I finished watching it, I SPRINTED up to my little sister (who also watches the show) and started gushing about how well-written it was.

Episode 8 is where things went a little off the rails, IMO. I was so glad to see Mel again, and was very excited to see where they went with her plot line. (My League of Legends knowledge is limited strictly to Arcane, so I'm probably missing out on a lot of lore here, which is why I Did Not Understand What Was Going On.) Act II had this whole big reveal where Ambessa had a third kid, and I got the impression that that kid was the person who kidnapped Mel? But we never got into that, or why Mel was so attuned with the Arcane. That really disappointed me. I LOVED her new look, though.

Jayce and Viktor interacted again after the attempted murder, and something LGBT happened between them. It appeared that their whole conflict now revolved around the idea of perfection, which Viktor claimed he could create with the help of the Arcane. And Jayce is all like, "My partner (no homo), you're making a bunch of mindless soldiers with no personality and stuff." And then they fight. Jayce was very unfair to Mel this episode, so I'm glad they had a heart-to-heart later.

Now onto the issue of Jinx, Vi, and Caitlyn. Jinx was done so dirty this act omg. Also, there was literally no mention of Isha??? What happened there? She was completely blown up, but Vander/Warwick walked away totally fine? The only real indication that she ever existed was Jinx's grief, but even that seemed sidelined in favor of Vi and Cait. That sex scene was WILD, guys. I would have liked to have a scene where Cait apologizes to Vi for the way she acted, and how she got so caught up in the idea of avenging her mother that she forgot to view the members of the Undercity as people. BUT WHATEVER. The sex scene will do. If Mel and Jayce get to have one, Cait and Vi do too. Hashtag love wins.

On to Episode 9. What a time to be alive. The fight scenes were superbly animated, as always, but I felt there was something lacking. The central conflict wasn't really well explained (but I was also watching this at 1 am, so my brain was probably fried). I liked the scene where Caitlyn and Mel team up, but Ambessa's death was a bit wonky to me. There was a lot of stuff about foxes and wolves that did't really leave an impact on me.

Ekko kicked ass, as always. My dude knew what he was doing. Viktor and Jayce were being gay in the Hex Vault. I did really enjoy the scene where the mage that saved Jayce's mother's life was revealed to be Viktor. I'm a sucker for those kinds of plot twists. And Viktor's monologue about Jayce being the only person in every timeline who helps him realize that total perfection was meaningless had me kicking my feet and giggling. I desperately want to know where they ended up after destroying the wild rune.

Vi and Jinx--this was where I was most disappointed. The show is supposed to revolve around their relationship, but they were sidelined so hard in favor of other things. And I was so mad about Jinx's "death". Just when it seems that things are turning around for a former villian-turned ally character, (cough Shane cough), they end up getting themselves killed for no reason. Vi could have so easily moved off that ledge. Jinx's death (or not death, it wasn't really clear) felt very last minute. Their whole relationship this season has been about the two of them accepting that they both have changed, but that doesn't mean they can't love each other in a new way. Jinx's death felt like an easy way to avoid all these lingering feelings. And Vander was just in his beast form the whole time, with no indication that his mind was still there.

Overall, I still think Arcane is a spectacular show, but Arc III felt a bit rushed and stilted. It was a wild ride, but it left me a bit unsatisfied. I'll still miss the show and the characters a lot.

Thanks for sending this in again, Bay! Feel free to pop into my ask box any time :) I loved writing this, and would love to hear your thoughts as well. Hopefully my ramblings are understandable. Have a great day!

[thebreakfastgenie]

beejhawk 👀

LMAO I was just sitting here like "no one even bothers to send me beejhawk anymore" but bless you to the bottom of your pot-stirring heart, anon.

Don’t Ship It

Why don’t you ship it? I have several reasons, which I will get into it, but I'm going to start with this one: I like a happy ending. Beejhawk cannot be a happy ending to me. I'm not entirely convinced any Hawkeye/4077th ship being endgame can be a happy ending, even the ones I like. I want to see Hawkeye move on from the war, which is what GFA is setting him up to do. Beejhawk keeps him stuck with the war defining his life. That's depressing to me. In the larger narrative of Hawkeye's life, it's important to me that the war is unimportant. The war being how Hawkeye met the love of his life gives me the ick. It implicitly suggests the war was somehow worth it. I can't think of a single reason why I would ship it. I think the biggest reason is it's simply too OOC for me. I cannot believe that Hawkeye would be in love with BJ. That is not Hawkeye to me. I actually can believe that BJ would be in love with Hawkeye, even though BJ is extremely straight to me, but I can't see Hawkeye reciprocating, ever. I've read some beejhawk fic and a lot of posts, and the way Hawkeye behaves and is characterized doesn't just feel wrong to me, it feels wrong in the way I hate the most. BJ is usually wildly OOC too. The other big reason is the complete lack of chemistry. They have negative romantic chemistry to me. This is a much smaller reason, but the things people get from beejhawk I get from other ships that make more sense to me. For a best friends ship, I have piercentyre. If I want to ship Hawkeye with someone repressed, I have hawnk or houlihawk. Sometimes I joke about this but it's kind of true that I don't need beejhawk because I have hawnk. The Joke Is Wild? Hawnk did it first. I genuinely do not understand why beejhawk is a ship at all, except that they're the two main guys. If I didn't know how slash culture worked, I would have been shocked that it even existed. In the last few seasons, I'm not even convinced they like each other. I found myself asking "do these guys even like each other?" about the alleged best friends more than once, and I had to actively rev up my suspension of disbelief to enjoy their goodbye properly the first time I watched GFA. I very strongly dislike any framing of MASH as a love story, and I have yet to find beejhawk content that doesn't turn it into the Ballad of Hawkeye and BJ. Piercentyre is fun for me, because it really changes the show very little. Beejhawk requires me to rewire the entire show, and I don't want to. A lot of moments that I adore become less meaningful to me if they're shippy. For example, Where There's a Will, There's a War. "When I wake up remind me to give you a kiss" is an expression of BJ's profound relief and a wonderful resolution to the anxiety and guilt he's been feeling for the whole episode. It's hyperbole that only works because they don't normally kiss or want to kiss. It always brings to mind a lyric from a song about WWII: "and I never kissed so many men as on that afternoon." It's not about romance, it's about being glad to be alive. I just like the show better without beejhawk. I started out a little more neutral and my visceral revulsion built through overexposure. There was also an assumption that you shipped beejhawk that I really resented. Especially because of the implications around it being slash. I am gay, I ship gay ships, I ship other gay ships in MASH. I don't ship beejhawk. I'm not required to ship every single gay ship. So all those beejhawk posts about "gay people love this" or "gay people think that" bother me and turn me off even more.

What would have made you like it? Completely different acting/chemistry. Something completely different from what I ever see the fandom do with it. I could probably be sold on unrequited (BJ's side only) or unhappy ending beejhawk in fic if it was really well done. This is your chance to plug! I think a realistic handling of it would help too. The show gives me a BJ who is as far from leaving his family as a man can be. I need to be convinced that something would change that. Meta claiming he's actually close to leaving in the show does not work for me, it directly contradicts what I see. I need writers to dig into it. Actually show me the dissolution of BJ's marriage, the pain and consequences. Show me how he manages to stay in his daughter's life, if he does. Brokeback Mountain does not shy away from how badly Ennis treats his wife and how absent he is to his children. My experience with beejhawk is that much angst is made of the obstacles to their being together, but they're quickly dispatched with. Tell me what Hawkeye sees in BJ, because I don't see it in the show.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it? It inspired me to make these. I've been thinking lately that this lyric fits beejhawk "perhaps we don't fulfill each other's fantasies." If you know me, you know this is something positive from me, because it's from what I think is one of the best songs ever written. There is some interesting potential. Just get out of the true love box! Try something dark, something one-sided (BJ's side), something that ends badly! I do really like their friendship in the first few BJ seasons.