#my gay ass almost fainted

[mepazaldrizes]

This is so professor Romanoff coded…

can she, idk hit me with what shes holding...

[igotanidea]

World's worst wingman: Jason Todd x reader (ft. Dick Grayson)

story borrowed from @gay-dorito-dust, thank you :)

Summary: Dick being Jason's wingman.

***

„Come on, just go do it!”

„No.”

„Why not?”

„Because.”

„Why are you being stubborn? I saw you eyeing her whole night! Seriously, if you keep bringing that face expression on, you will turn into an anime character and-“

Jason groaned and run fingers through his already messed up hair.

For the record – he had no idea that the object of his interest in the form of Y/N would be at this particular club tonight.

Well – maybe a faint idea. Just a vague concept of her whereabouts.

It wasn’t like he stalked her a little, getting to know her favorite places to hang out, her work and her home and the way she was using to commute to ensure its safety.

Definitely not.

But even if he did – there was no regrets in his actions with regards to that.

What he did regret though – was bringing Dick with him to act like some sort of wingman. Stupid. Idiotic. Completely reckless behavior. HE should have known better than that.

Instead of having a chance to talk to her, he was stuck by the table, trying to melt into the plush backrest of the couch behind his back, that happened to be the same color his face was turning into.

Forced to listen to his brother constant babbling how he can’t be such a coward and shy and antisocial and that she seemed to be a nice girl and why won’t Jason just get his ass up and –

“Shut up.” Jason muttered, edging the thin line between behaving and getting a temper tantrum.

“Ohhhh! Is my little Jaybrid getting flustered?” Dick teased, grinning like a madman, deriving almost sadistic pleasure from tormenting his brother.

“I’m getting so many regrets about telling you shit about her.”

“Oh, come on, don’t say it! That’s so not fair! I’m only here to help you, cause with the way you’re acting now I don’t see much chance to succeed in-”

“I’m going to get a drink!” Jason stood up from the table so abruptly that only by miracle it didn’t trip over.

“Oh yeah! That’s the spirit! And while you’re at it, can you bring me one more pina colada?”

It was all just a big fat joke to Dick.

***

“Hey, can I have a beer and a pina colada?” damn the second part of his sentence barely left his throat.

“that;s an unusual mix, istn;t it?” she chuckled grabbing a glass and starting to prepare the drink with learned precision.

“Yeah, it’s not for me – “ Jason stuttered, despite himself “It’s for-“

“Your date?”

“huh?”

“That guy over there?” Y/N pointed towards the Dick, waving at her crazily across the club

“WHAT? He’s not my date! He- he’s my –“ it took a lot of effort from Jason to not address Dick as his prey, but somehow, gulping heavily and clenching fists he managed to calm down. Ish. “-brother. He’s my effing brother.”

“Oh, such a  relief!”

“Relief? Why?”

“Cause it means he’s not gay, huh?”

“Oh…”

Of course she was asking about Dick. How could a girl like her ever pay attention to a guy like Jason?

“Relax, I’m kidding. It’s only because of the drink. I mean – what kind of a man orders pina colada unless he’s playing on the other side of the field or has a particularly nasty sense of humor, right?”

“Are you always this observant?”

“You know, some people think I’m just  a bartender, but the truth? I’m also a watcher and a listener. You wouldn’t believe the amount of drunk girls crying their broken heart out on this particular counter.”

“Hah!” he chuckled. For some crazy reason her attitude was making him feel at ease. Like he could actually maybe stand a chance with her?

“So, here’s your pina colada and your beer. Enjoy.”

The second she handed him the beverages he knew the moment was over. He was a customer at the bar and she was working here. They were not friends and definitely not more.

“Yeah, um – thanks …” he muttered, retrieving back into himself, grabbing the mugg and a tall glass, heading back to Dick with sense of defeat inside him.

***

“Are you crazy?!”

“Stop yelling!”

“But are you crazy?!” with the way Dick was tugging at Jason’s shirt it was truly a miracle that the younger brother did not end up drenched in and reeking of beer. “You had a chance! It was the perfect opportunity and you’re back here?! Please tell me you at least asked her out!”

“I –“

“Holy shit, Jason, you totally blew it.” Dick rubbed his forehead “Tell me you told her, you liked her!”

“Well-“

“Ok, fine, fine. Let’s lower the bar and the expectations there then. Tell me you told her she’s pretty.”

“I’m not telling the cliché that any drunk man would!”

“You’re hopeless. You are totally hopeless. My god, did I teach you nothing during all those years?!”

“Shut up, Dick!”

Too bad it was too late and Dick was already on a highway to making a scene and the biggest commotion this little suburban club has ever seen.

“Dick!” Jason hissed, feeling all eyes on them. All eyes except Y/N’s who was apparently ending her shift, cleaning some of the stuff from the counter and filling in her colleague.

“Quick! Fast!” Dick started pushing Jason towards her direction.

Mistake.

A little tip: if you ever try to push a 6 ft and 200 pounds man in any direction at all, make sure to make sure he expects it.

Otherwise, the mass of muscles may just subdue to the undeniable power of physics. Especially the gravity and the rules of dynamics. You know, the whole a body set in motion moves in a uniform motion and all shebang.

In Jason’s case it resulted in him losing the balance, falling backwards and stumbling upon unexpecting Y/N, crashing into her as they both ended on the floor with a very disturbing crack coming from somewhere.

“Shit! Shit, shit, shit! Y/N? Are you okay? I am so sorry, I am so terribly sorry, how many fingers do you see-“

 “Ouch….” She groaned, reaching for the hand he was reaching towards her, letting him help her up. “Five?”

“Three. Close enough.”

“So you’re a sloth now?”

“huh?”

“Well, I said five fingers, you said three. Sloths have three fingers and – mh. Dry joke, sorry.”

“You must have hit your head pretty bad, huh?” he could swear to god, he had no idea where that joke came from, just slipped his mouth, but to his relief – she laughed. Not in a mean way, not at all. It was a genuine, happy laugh. He made her laugh.

“Yeah, maybe. I swear I am usually in a better shape.”

“I’d love to see that.” He muttered, and in his head it was just a thought never spoken aloud, but when she tilted her head and gave him a funny look, Jason realized he actually did just that. Spoke up. Bared himself to rejection, teasing, hurt, pain, depression –

“Ok.”

“Ok?” his eyes grew wider.

“Yes. Ok. I can give you a sample. And also you owe me.”

“Um, yeah, yeah, ok, so – “ he scratched his head awkwardly.

“I like coffee. And I have a day off tomorrow.”

“Oh, okay then so – “ say something you idiot! Say something! “there’s this little café at the 23rd and-“

“See you at 8.” She smiled, grabbed her coat and with a wave of her hand disappeared leaving him stunned.

He had a date. Ish. A meeting. A meeting with a girl he liked.

He could jump up from the sheer joy of this unexpected turn out of events, if it wasn;t for the one little fact ….

“RICHARD GRAYSON!!!”

The yelling could wake up the dead and sensing the incoming sequence of events, Dick quickly started moving through the crowd towards the exit.

“I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!”

It seemed that after Red Hood was done with his job, Nightwing would be excluded from patrolling that night.

[mikachacha]

Style (Bada Lee x Actress/Idol!Reader)

Synopsis: You and Bada are always the hottest talk of the town. With your seemingly on and off relationship stirring up the internet constantly. But then what happens when you visit Street Woman Fighter 2 to give them a challenge to choreograph your new single?

Warnings: language, a very jealous Bada and lots of steam from this one

(A/N: anon keeps making good suggestions for fics and i am obsessed!)

🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸

"No way this is real! She's really coming? I can pass away peacefully now.." excited murmurs filled the fight zone as one of your songs played on the speaker and Bada just smiled and sat back with her team. She's not really bothered by the thirst comments other participants made towards you as she couldn't exactly blame them. You're the infamous Y/N, an actress and an idol who's even recognized outside of Korea for your acting prowess and talent.

"Y/N-unnie is really here and she looks so pretty.." Tatter gasped out as you descended from the stairs. Everyone's attention is on you and just just waved, a smile on your pretty face. Bada felt like she just fell in love with you over again when she saw your face. She feels like she's the luckiest person alive to be calling you her girlfriend though many did try to break your relationship apart ever since you decided to make it public. So many rumors thrown at you and Bada, being linked to different people, especially men to which you just rolled your eyes out.

"She looks so pretty like a real life barbie.. It makes me gay.." Bada could hear Audrey of Jam Republic fangirl over you as you greeted everyone. The rest of Jam Republic just laughed at their younger's antics.

"Girl you've got a very slim chance. I mean, there's Bada and almost everyone in this room waiting for their chance to gain that pretty girl's love and attention." Ling says which made Audrey pout. Bada just shook her head and looked at you, smiling as your eyes met. You playfully winked at her and team Bebe erupted in laughs and giggles as their leader dramatically 'fainted' at your wink.

When everyone settled down, Daniel announced the reason why you're there. You're giving the teams a mission just like Hwasa did though this time you wanted to step out of your comfort zone a little bit. You wanted it to look sexy and cool, you wanted to try new routines as you're already bored by the cutesy image your management set for you. You wanted something different.

"Damn it's like she's rebranding her image. Oh boy, the rumors will be crazy with this one.." Lusher says and Bada agreed. The rumors surrounding your relationship would be crazier though she remains unfazed seeing as what you have with Bada is unbreakable.

After the cameras stopped rolling, everyone had the chance to talk and interact with you. There were some flirting going on though you only laughed. People took their shot to be in your good graces to gain edge for the competition but you were having none of that. You were known as fair despite everything. Some may think that Bada's team will win because you're dating her but it was far from the truth. If their choreography doesn't live up to your expectations, you won't really hesitate dropping it off and choosing someone else's.

"See you at home, baby girl. I'll be making some dinner so you better get your cute butt home early." you told Bada as the filming for the new mission stopped. Bada blushed when you called her baby girl which made you chuckle. You kissed her cheek before exiting the fight zone. You had a satisfied smile on your lips knowing what you just did would push your girlfriend to work harder and prove to everyone that she's not just Y/N's girlfriend, she's Bada Lee a choreographer people should watch out for.

"She may act all sweet but damn she'll probably chew my ass if we don't live up to her expectations.." Bada groaned while some people from other teams overheard her. They couldn't help but raise their brows at Bada's statement. No one expected to find that the usually sweet and gentle Y/N would have a brutal personality that even Bada, her girlfriend is worried about.

The following weeks, everyone has been working their asses off to give you the best routine they can possibly give. Some would send you flowers, some gifts and just being overall nice when you visit and see the progress of their mission. You were pretty hands on which added to the pressure of the competition. You love keeping people on the edge of their seats until it was time for the big show.

When it was time for the reveal of choreographies, you couldn't help but smile at team Bebe's choreography. They really gave it their all to hopefully meet your standards. The ones that stood out most for you are Jam Republic, Bebe and Wolf Lo but you're not picking yet. To add a twist to your mission, you included online votes to help you decide so the teams are once again busy trying to get people to vote for their team.

"Sometimes it makes me wonder if you're just being strict or you just love messing with people.." Bada told you one night as you were both chilling at your shared home. Before you can even respond, the sound of your doorbell interrupted you and Bada got up to answer the door. She came back in with a bouquet of flowers sent to you by Haechi and some snacks from other people. Bada looked at you then the items she's carrying while you just shook your head, not wanting to talk about it. Bada just shrugs as she took the snacks and began snacking on them like she usually does.

"It could be poisoned, you know." You jokingly said and Bada just rolled her eyes before feeding you some.

"Well if it is then you're coming down with me. I don't wanna go out and leave you because girl, so many people wants to be in my spot right now." Bada says a bit dramatically to which you laughed at. Though it's true that lots of people wants to be Bada so they could have a chance with you but you could care less. You only want this girl sitting beside you and snacking on the snacks suitors sent for you.

"Fair enough and that thing is nasty!" you complained while she laughed at you. You and Bada continued to goof around, just enjoying together and making up for the lost times due to your busy schedules.

A few days has passed and it was time for you to decide which team wins your challenge. You looked at the online votes before looking at the teams in the fight zone, scanning each one just to keep the suspense going.

"The team I'm gonna choose is team.. Team Bebe! Since they won the online votes and their choreography fits the criteria I have set for the mission. But don't worry everyone, you will get to showcase the choreography you worked so hard for in the music video." you smiled and everyone clapped, cheered and congratulate team Bebe. You looked at your girlfriend's team and gave them a thumbs up, proud that they proved to everyone how amazing they are as a team. You're also proud of Bada for not using her relationship with you whatsoever to win the challenge. Her team won because of her sheer hard work, one of the many things you love about her.

[justlookfrightened]

Needing a hug

Filling a prompt from @shygryf: A pining Bitty is jealous watching Shitty be casually affectionate with Jack.

Bitty wasn’t sure when he noticed it for the first time.

Maybe it wasn’t the first practice, but it was early.

Shitty was allowed to touch Jack in a way that other players — other people — weren’t.

Shitty clapped Jack on the shoulder when they were skating out onto the ice, slung his arm around Jack’s waist when they walked around campus, even — more than once — kissed Jack on the cheek.

Sure, Shitty was usually very drunk when the kissing happened. It usually followed Shitty making some kind of proclamation like, “Jackabelle! You magnificent specimen of a Canadian moose!” And Jack usually shrunk away a little bit — something between a flinch and a cringe — but he didn’t react violently, or yell at Shitty, or even look really displeased.

If it was anyone besides Jack, Bitty might have started to wonder if maybe, just maybe, he enjoyed intimacy with men.

But it was Jack. The manliest of men. The straightest of arrows. Totally no-homo bro, as Holster would say.

Bitty had almost asked Shitty about it, once, when he was a frog. When Jack had seemed to be in a round robin of yelling at Bitty, sighing and rolling his eyes at Bitty in exasperation, and pounding on Bitty’s bedroom door so early in the morning it was by rights still night. And that didn’t even count Jack disparaging Bitty’s nutrition. 

Bitty had complained to Shitty about Jack and his Captain Hard Ass ways.

“It’s like he’s always watching me, just waiting for me to screw up,” Bitty had grumbled, wrapped in a blanket and sitting with his back against the wall while Shitty smoked a joint in the Reading Room on top of the Haus porch. “He hates me.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Shitty had said. “He’s really not a bad guy.”

“Easy for you to say,” Bitty said. “He likes you. He thinks I’m going to torpedo the team.”

“If he didn’t think you could contribute, he wouldn’t bother helping you,” Shitty said, like it was the most logical thing in the world.

“Helping me?” Bitty said, arching an eyebrow. “You mean by waking me up a full five hours before my first class three days a week?”

“You didn’t faint once at practice last week,” Shitty pointed out.

“Still,” Bitty said.

Shitty drew on the joint, making its end glow orange, then breathed out a cloud of smoke before he said,  “You know how they say that if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail? That’s Jack. The only tool in his box is working harder than anybody else.”

“Hasn’t he ever heard ‘work smarter, not harder’?” Bitty retorted. “And he doesn’t act like that with you. You, he hugs. Or at least hugs back, when you hug him.”

Bitty stopped and ran the sentence back. Did it make sense, or was he getting a contact high?

Shitty didn’t respond, instead asking, “How long until pie, brah?”

Bitty checked the timer on his phone.

“Comes out in a couple minutes,” he said. “But you have to let it cool before you eat it. You want me to whip up some muffins? Those you can eat warm.”

That was the closest Bitty ever got to talking about it with Shitty. He never brought it up again, maybe because it wasn’t too much longer before Jack and Bitty were on the same line, and Bitty was getting his own share of physical affection from Jack.

And, of course, from everyone else on the ice when their line (Jack) scored.

Bitty had spent years keeping his hands and body to himself to avoid the way people pulled away like being gay was contagious or something. Now he found that the camaraderie and joy in post-goal cellies was a balm to his lonely soul. Especially since the whole team already knew he was gay, and no one cared.

Moving into the Haus his second year gave him a whole new view of the Jack-Shitty relationship. Sure, Shitty was over the top with everyone, but he was also respectful. He had been the first on the team to ruffle Bitty’s hair, and the first to back off when Bitty recoiled. Even though Bitty tried not to show his distaste; he knew Shitty meant it affectionately.

Shitty roughhoused with Ransom and Holster, play-fighting and bro-hugging and noogie-ing with abandonment.

He did all those things with Jack, too. Even if Jack somehow always won even the play-fights.

But there was more. Shitty sat next to Jack on the gross couch, sides plastered up against each other, when there was a movie or game night. Shitty jumped into Jack’s arms and hugged him when they returned from winter break, and Shitty was in Jack’s room at all hours.

This morning, when Bitty had tried to go to Jack to ask about practice, he found an underwear-clad Shitty cuddling a (fully clothed) sleeping Jack in Jack’s bed. Shitty had just put a finger to his lips to tell Bitty to be quiet, and didn’t say a word about it.

Bitty backed out of the room and shut the door quietly, wondering why his heart hurt.

It shouldn’t make him sad that Jack and Shitty were comfortable expressing physical affection within the bonds of male-male platonic friendship. Or that Shitty was, and Jack was okay with it.

Bitty paused for a moment inside the door of his own room to be proud of how far he had come in terms of understanding gender dynamics, mostly through Shitty’s informal tutoring of anyone within earshot. Two years ago, before he came to Samwell, he would have looked at the scene in Jack’s room and immediately labeled it “gay.” Now he looked at it and knew that while he was gay, all he saw was Shitty attaching himself like a limpet to Jack, in order for Jack to get past his anxiety enough to rest.

He’d learned a lot about Jack, too. The upcoming parents’ weekend must really be getting to Jack, for all Jack’s parents seemed friendly and proud of their son.

Maybe it was that Bitty wished Shitty would come and hug him like that when he got overwhelmed? Shitty’s physical interactions with Bitty had been careful since the hair-ruffling incident, more than a year ago now; Shitty always hesitated just for a moment, something Bitty had come to understand as a non-verbal check-in to make sure the intended touch would be welcomed. 

Bitty kind of wished he wouldn’t, kind of wished the guys would include him in their rough play like he was just one of the guys. The thing was, he knew the only thing that was stopping them was Bitty himself. All he had to do was join in — he was sure of that — and they would pile on him as happily as they piled on one another, just like they did in cellies.

And all he had to do for Shitty to hug him would be to tell him it was okay, that he wanted that. Or even to hug Shitty first.

He wondered if Jack and Shitty had ever had a conversation like that, back before Bitty knew them.

Shitty: “Brah, is it okay if I hug you?”

Jack: shrug

Shitty: “I’m serious. Your body belongs to you, Jackabelle. I want to know if it’s okay.”

Jack: “If it’s not, I’ll tell you.”

And Jack had never said it wasn’t okay.

So maybe there was a conversation Bitty should have with Shitty, but that wasn’t what was making him sad.

Maybe it was that Jack was anxious, and needed someone like Shitty to help him rest?

But Jack’s anxiety had nothing to do with Bitty. It was just a part of Jack, a part that he tried (sometimes unsuccessfully) to keep under wraps by acting like a hockey robot. Which he very much was not, Bitty had come to learn. And that sometimes, when Jack’s anxiety got the better of him, he lashed out at people (like Bitty) who were in the way.

Bitty should be grateful to Shitty for helping Jack, whose behavior towards Bitty had undergone a marked change by the end of last season, a change that showed no signs of shifting back. It was like playing good hockey had somehow made Bitty a Real Person in Jack’s eyes.

That wasn’t fair. Jack continued to treat Bitty like a Real Person, even when Bitty’s phobia came roaring back at the beginning of his second season and even Hall and Murray were talking about cutting him. Maybe it was just familiarity that did the trick?

In any case, Bitty didn’t want Jack to suffer — didn’t want anyone to suffer — from the kind of anxiety that plagued Jack, so he was grateful to Shitty for helping in a way that he couldn’t.

Bitty climbed out his own window to the Reading Room and sat with his back against the wall  because that was where he felt safest, not because he couldn’t be seen there from Jack’s room, and rolled that kernel of a thought around in his head.

He felt sad because Shitty could help Jack in a way that he couldn’t. 

That didn’t make any sense, though. Of course Shitty could help Jack in ways that he couldn’t. All people were different (maybe Shitty more than most, his brain unhelpfully supplied); he couldn’t be jealous of Shitty for using his unique strengths and skills to help their mutual friend Jack.

Because Jack was their mutual friend, even if Shitty was Jack’s best friend.

Well, of course he was. Shitty had known Jack longer, had helped Jack acclimate to college life in the States (and Bitty was proud that he didn’t call it “America” anymore, now that he knew people from other North American countries), was closer to Jack’s age, and even if it shouldn’t matter, closer to Jack’s social class. Bitty should be happy just to be allowed to tag along.

Bitty didn’t begrudge Shitty his best-friend status with Jack.

He just wished that he could hug Jack like Shitty did.

That was it.

He wished he could hug Jack (and maybe have Jack hug him back, the way he did Shitty?). Bitty was craving the comfort of physical contact, which he’d denied himself for too long. He’d have that conversation with Shitty, and maybe he’d jump into the next group wrestling match …

And then, maybe — maybe then he would be able to hug Jack.

[kpopsexstories]

QUICK FIX #36: NCT Chenle Masturbates in the Back of a Van

Member: NCT Chenle

Content: Chenle masturbates in the back of a van while the others are sleeping around him

Type: VANILLA

Word Count: 1,541

This was originally meant to be tomorrow's gay Quick Fix story. But I realized Chenle masturbating by himself isn't gay at all, so I'm releasing it today as a bonus story for Season 4 of my straight Quick Fix Dirty Kpop Imagines series instead. Check it out for x female reader smut and other groups and members.

A new and gayer version of this story will be posted tomorrow.

The boys of NCT Dream are in a van, being driven along a countryside road late at night after a shoot. Lamps and other vehicles occasionally pass them by outside, casting a yellow light on their tired faces.

They're exhausted and silent after a trying day, each in their own bubble. The gentle humming of the engine is soothing. And in the back, Chenle is thinking how the vibrations and bumps in the road are making him hard.

He look around at his friends. Some are sleeping, some have drifted off in deep thought. Haechan is snoozing lightly beside him, with a jacket pulled over his shoulders.

Chenle puts his hand near his own crotch. It feels nice. His fingers gently, carefully as not to get caught, press against the head of his dick. It has been pushed to the side when the shaft grew and is now resting against his thigh, attempting to escape his underwear.

The pressure from his fingers feels sensational. He moves his hand a little closer on his leg to increase it, which builds up a great sexual pleasure. He adjusts his position to make the dick slide down to a more comfortable position, all while looking around him to make sure no one's watching.

He too has a jacket by his side. He uses it as a blanket in his lap, to cover the obvious bulge and boner and what his hand is doing to it.

He moves the hand all the way over the outline of his dick and squeezes it. To eliminate any sounds he lifts the jacket slightly, creating an air pocket, and opens his mouth to silence his heavy breaths.

The sexual sensation is addictive. It makes him feel great. Fuck, I'm so horny, he thinks.

Another thought then pops into his head. Could he? Should he? Or is it too risky?

Haechan moves in his seat and turns his back toward Chenle. Everyone else is in front of him, eyes closed or fixed on the darkness outside. A darkness which makes Chenle feel safe and protected.

They still have a long drive. They won't be home for another few hours. If he's careful, he can probably get away with it. What harm can some soft touching do anyway?

He doesn't need to come. He just wants a little more of the addictive sensation. To intensify it, make it stronger. With each gentle squeeze it feels even better, and it's difficult to stop.

He wants to come though. Desperately. The sensation is almost too much to bear. He lifts his ass to reposition himself once more, and each time the dick is pushed against the palm of his hand an amazing rush shoots through his body.

Mm, fuck! he thinks as his eyes widen.

All his senses are on high alert. He's on the lookout for movements, sounds, any indication that he's being watched or noticed. Nothing.

Slowly, completely silent, Chenle decides to unbuckle his pants. It feels liberating. He reaches in to fix the dick, finally getting it to a more comfortable place.

But this also means the sensation fades, a sensation he's now completely hooked on. He doesn't want it to stop.

He grabs the shaft through his underwear. He can feel more of it now, reaching a bigger part of the boner. At first he just keeps squeezing, harder and harder, taking the sensation higher and further.

Then he strokes it, rubbing the defined outline with his palm and fingers. Oh, it feels so good.

The jacket brushes repeatedly against his arm, producing a faint but – to Chenle's heightened senses – extremely loud sound. To stop it he lifts the jacket higher, increasing the area of the pocket.

The air inside is hot. He spreads his legs slightly to ventilate his crotch and balls. Then finally, he decides that it will be fine if he reaches all the way in to pleasure himself for real.

He lifts the underwear, stretching the seams to the limit in order to get all of his hand in without making a noise. He raises his knees to keep the jacket from sliding down. He wraps his fingers around the rock hard erection, and slowly begins to flick his wrist up and down.

His mouth is wide open by now. He alters between holding his breath and letting air out slowly. He inhales and exhales through long, controlled sighs, and avoides breathing through his nose entirely.

Still no one suspects a thing.

His hand starts to move a little faster. His fingers are getting weary from lifting the underwear so high, as the seams do their best to pull them back down. He keeps his whole body completely stiff and still, flexing every muscle to hold his ground and not cause alarm.

He can feel his orgasm coming. It's approaching fast with each rapid stroke. The jacket shakes ever so slightly, and he lifts his elbow to keep the air pocket intact.

Here it comes. His body is getting flustered and his breathing rapid but superficial. He knows he should stop but he's managed to keep quiet so far, and there's no reason to believe he can't make it all the way.

Then he erupts. His muscles tense and for a split second the jacket crumples and slides audibly over his legs and arms, but only slightly and briefly. Not enough to draw any attention.

Chenle quickly lowers the seams over his boner. He knows things are about to get messy, and of course he can't get cum on the jacket or on his hand and pants. When the orgasm tips over – in the moment just before the cum starts seeping out – he covers his dick and allows himself to shoot his load inside the absorbant fabric of his underwear.

It feels incredible. This was just the release he needed so badly. Finally he might be able to get some sleep.

But not yet. There's two more hurdles to overcome. The abrupt eruption causes his body to change quickly, and the struggle to keep his breathing down becomes harder. He wants to pant, to gasp loudly and without restraint. His lungs are suddenly desperate for air, to keep enough oxygen flowing through his hard-working body system.

He closes his eyes and shifts his focus from the orgasm to his breaths. He holds it for as long as he can, but is eventually forced to exhale deeply. He controls the big sigh, drawing it out for as long as possible, before he inhales with his mouth wide open and repeats the process.

It takes three cycles before he's able to adequately calm himself enough to relax a little.

The second problem is the cum. He lowered his underwear a little too late, and only now realizes that the back of his hand is wet and sticky. He wipes it off inside the underwear, then feels a cold sensation when his wrist brushes against a soiled spot inside the jacket.

Fuck, he thinks, wondering how much and how far his mishap has reached. It's probably not too bad, he convinces himself. It will dry.

His breaths return to normal. He's able to relax the muscles in his arms and legs. His hand rests beside the dick, while he keeps holding the jacket up slightly with his arm to allow the cum to be absorbed before he accidentally smears it any further.

The dick has grown slack and he sinks into his seat, then he finally looks around again.

Ahead of him, no one has noticed a thing. The car is still humming along as if nothing has happened at all, and his friends are still where they were a minute ago.

When he turns to glance to the side, however, his heart skips several beats. For a second it feels like it stops. Haechan is still leaning against the door, but he's turned his head and is staring right back with a serious expression.

Their eyes meet. Chenle looks bewildered and shocked, as if he's just been caught in the act – which he probably has. He feels as though he's just done something illegal.

Haechan, however, produces a faint smile. He maintains it for several seconds but doesn't say a word. Then he turns away again, pulls the jacket higher on his shoulder and tilts his head against a make-shift pillow against the car window. He quickly dozes off again.

Chenle reaches in to close his pants. He feels around for a bit to confirm there's no more cum that might be seen when they get out. He pulls his hands out and flattens the jacket, still keeping it in his lap for a sense of security.

He rests the hands on top of it. Then he closes his eyes and leans against the side of the van, yellow light flickering over his face as they drive fast along the road.

The fear and worry is pushed out of his mind. He feels satisfied and relaxed. Finally, he's able to fall asleep, joining his oblivious friends in dreamland.

The orgasm was necessary. If he hadn't done it he'd be awake for the rest of the trip. Maybe Haechan didn't realize just how far Chenle went.

[faghubby]

It's Okay

"Look how big he is" Stacy yelled in my ear. It was loud the music and the woman screaming. I wanted to just hide somewhere. Stacy had dragged me to an all male review with her best friend, Beth and her sister, Helen. All three where already drunk. Stacy kept pointing out the guys to me. At first the bouncers weren't going to let me in but after Stacy showed them my pink whale tail they waved me thru laughing.

This had started about two months ago. Stacy just came out and asked me one night over dinner.

"Paul why are you wearing my panties when I'm not home?"

"What?" I gasped almost choking on my food.

"I mean it is obvious that you are wearing my panties and some other things. I just am wondering why" Stacy continued.

"Stac I" I stuttered taking a drink of water.

"These where pretty expensive" Stacy explained placing a pair of stockings on the table.

"if you had asked i would of gotten you some of your own earlier" stacy informed me handing me a tiny bag from victoria secrets.

"Go put these on" she smiled. I peeked in the bag to see a pair of pink satin panties with ruffled trim. I went to speak.

"Don't try and deny anything. Go try them on and come back and show me" she insisted. I was caught but she wasn't mad. I grabbed the bag and went to change. I came out wearing only the panties. My penis throbbing trying to break free.

I came out a bit shy. stacy took my hand and led me to the bedroom not letting me finish eating.

"I haven't been with a woman since college" she told me pushing me back on the bed. She was naked in seconds. She crawled into bed and laid next to me kissing me she rubbed my nipples and gropped my ass. She was in control. I didn't fight when she positioned herself and sat on my face. As I licked and sucked she pulled down my panties and licked my ass. She grabbed lube from somewhere and worked her fingers in my ass, first one then two . She had three fingers pumping my ass as she came on my tounge.

Our sex life changed after that. She bought me several pairs of panties and would not let me fuck her. Instead I would preform oral or use one of her toys to fuck her. She would use her hand or mine to make me cum. Often training my ass. At first she called me her little lesbian bitch. But then I was her faggot. She started teasing me about taking a cock in my mouth and ass.

Stacy also had me try bras, stockings, even a dress. As she applied makeup to my face and have me beg for her strapon cock.

She would have me watch gay porn as she jerked me off.

I about fainted the first time she told her sister. Helen that i was her person little want to be faggot. She pulled my pants down showing her my panties. Helen in turn told my mother in law, her Aunt, and basicly her whole side of the family. Then of course it spread and Beth found out. Along with some other friends. They encouraged Stacy to leave me. But instead Stacy told me she would stay with me but needed a real man. So she would start cuckolding me. But I could remain her lesbian lover.

Soon I realized everyone knows. I catch the girls at work laughing to themselves as the walk by. My guy friends avoid me.

I come home early one day to find Stacy's car in the garage. As I go inside I find her naked on the bed.

"Hey baby you're home early" she said as she went to cover herself up. Then paused with a smile.

"Would you like to taste my lover off of me?" She asked suddenly.

"What?" I asked.

"Wohld you like to eat his cum out of my slutty used cunt?" She laughed tossing the covers on the floor spreading her legs.

"Of course you do faggot" she laughed. "Come on taste a real man" as if under a spell I couldn't resist her. I licked and sucked her lovers cum off of her.

"I bet you are so jealous that I get to suck cock, and have men fuck me with there big hard cocks. Thats what you want isn't it. Men with big cocks to use you" Stacy teased as I continued to lick her clit.

After that Stacy upped the game. I spent hours every day with a plug buried in my ass. Or sucking on her strapon. She made up my face as whoreish as she could. And even introduced me to wearing mini skirts and dresses. She documented it all taking pics and sharing them online.

After only 3 days I was begging her to find a man to use me. That very day she made me all girlie and invited a man over to have me.

I was scared and shaking as he stripped. He had me take his thick cock in his mouth. Stacy smiled and closed the door. For the next 30 minutes this man took me. He was gentile but firm. He knew what he wanted and instructed me. He finished deep inside me ass before he left. Only then did Stacy return.

"I knew you make a good faggot" she laughed. She was right I could not wait to do it all again.

[goodpheeling]

Actual medical doctor (and phannie) reacts to ‘How Phil Nearly Died”:

- the ‘rodent boy summer’ t-shirt is art

- ‘the bang was my ass’ ok, phil, i see u

- i honestly appreciate the first colonoscopy video so much

- tw: butt stuff and blood, let’s goooo

- phil watching dan play the elden ring dlc like the passenger princess he is

- *phillip describing the ‘crime scene’* omfg wat

- i still can’t believe dan had to go to the eye hospital alone, ffs phillip

- HE FAINTED?!

- omg they touched

- can confirm, adult humans are heavy

- the shinning moment, jfc that must have been traumatizing, poor Dan :c

- WHY R THEY PUTTING HIM ON A WHEELCHAIR??, oh, thank god (please if someone faints do put them on the ground and raise their legs, it does kinda help)

- poor phil this sounds so scary

- the glittery dan and phil backpack lol

- HE HAD TO GET A BLOOD TRANSFUSION??, at first i thought this wasn’t going to be this serious but the amount of blood he must have lost to require a blood transfusion is huuuuuge wtf (please donate blood! <3)

- me to myself: I don’t think this is secondary to the biopsy, like 10 days later and that big of a blood loss… no, that’s like so unlikely (foreshadowing)

- not Dan finding the one criminal in the building

- i’m loving the selfies ngl

- it WAS the biopsy oh my fucking god, phillip

- SHE THOUGHT DAN WAS HIS SON?! was she drunk??? that is so funny omg

- i fucking hate the beeping, that’s why i no longer work in urgent care

- Nord VPN coming through for bae in a time of need, we love to see it

- not phil showing the dan and phil games channel to the hot doctor 💀

- slut toast, so good

- ‘okay’ after your life partner for the last 15 years almost died, true ‘flatmate’ behavior

- i’m loving phil’s growth concerning his health anxiety, I’m so proud of him 🥲

- i think now I’m the one traumatized, who cursed this gays?

(this ended up being so long, thnx for reading)

[hel-phoenyx]

Domhildr belongs to @soupedepates, Oli to @thal-ent and Meili to @azeler, Kaizarz (mentioned) belongs to @corneille-but-not-the-author

Okay.

Maybe almost fainting in front of Domhildr as she was getting out of her shift was a bad idea.

For my defense, I didn't expect my body to react so strongly to just the amount of energy needed for digestion. Like I know I haven't slept in a week, but still, feeeling that dizzy right after eating ? Did I really not take care of my body properly ?

Point is she didn't let that slide. Like, at all. As soon as I was on the ground she called Meili. She never calls Meili, usually. And then while waiting on him she warned Oli she wouldn't be back tonight, for what ? I asled myself in the middle of my dizziness.

The result is we're currently at my home. It's morning after. And I've never heard that much noise in my kitchen before, even when Kaizarz was there and hellbent on finding my sugar and sweets stash to make us hot chocolates.

When I woke up, it was noon. I am so late on the thesis. Yet, I can't get out of bed. Why ? Because Meili is right next to me looking at me with those military officer eyes. The kind that say "obey orders or I'll kill you".

Not gonna lie, I've never done well with orders. I wanna get up and come back to my desk just to see how he will react. But my body isn't answering to me anymore. I can't even lift my head.

Meili squints seeing me awake.

"Don't you dare move."

I smile. Gods, the amount of energy needed is astounding. What the fuck is this sudden weakness ?!

"Or what... you're gonna pin me to bed ? Go ahead... I'm still stronger that you..."

"Clearly not in that state, and don't make me tie you up to the bedframe."

"Didn't know you were into that..."

His grimace is awful. I probably should have closed my big ass mouth. Why is it than when I'm tired I don't have any filter anymore. I almost told Kaizarz I loved him last time, goddamnit !

Anyway, I better shut up before I say something I regret. Meili looks pissed enough.

"Don't you dare start that gay shit with me, Tyr. You're fucking exhausted, you need to rest. Domhildr is whipping something in the kitchen for you, and Oli is trying to choose a movie we would all like."

"Damn... Since how much time are they trying ?"

"Three hours. We almost reached a consensus, so be a dear and don't ruin this for us."

When do I ever. But I'm too tired for this. And if I move a muscle, Meili is getting out the whip, anyway, I see in in his eyes. You can take a man out of army, but never army out of man...

Bed is too comfortable anyway, and my limbs too heavy. I wouldn't be able to move even if I really, really wanted to.

The second reason is that I won't have time. Domhildr just stormed in the room, a tray covered in food in hand. She made hamburgers with double steak and eggs, and fries on the side. Mine is covered in curry sauce, my favorite.

"Still think you're an heretic for what you made me do to those poor hamburgers, she shouts while putting the tray on my nightstand. But you needed meat, and red, bloody one."

"How I like it, huh..."

"Yeah, you fucking cannibal. How you like it, just for you. I'm letting you wake up while Oli chooses the movie, but after that, you're eating, and you're not moving out of bed for the day even if I have to climb you."

I smile again.

"This is the second weirdly erotic threat I've gotten today. You know you can tell me if you guys have an orgy planned later, I won't mind..."

"Oh, shut up, you bonehead, don't you dare joke in that state. Do you know how much I was worried about you ?"

Oh. She looks genuinely upset. Did I say something bad ? Did I do something bad, maybe ? I don't know. I just feel bad, all of a sudden.

".... Sorry."

"You better be. Hiding how little you sleep, how much coffee you drink, and when I go in your room I find a whole stash of beers clearly not here for partying ? What the fuck are you doing to yourself, Tyr ?!"

She's teary-eyed now. Oh. Did my current physical state affected them that much ?

"Sorry, really. I didn't want to worry you."

"Then start by not doing worrying things ! I thought I had to call Kaizarz to bring you to the hospital, AGAIN !"

Well. I guess that's why she's upset. Last time they had to do that, last time Kaizarz had to bring me to the hospital, it was the time of the accident. I still remember his eyes full of tears when i woke up from coma, his attempt to make me promise I won't ever put myself in danger like that, ever again.

I guess some things never change.

I lift my hand. Pinches her cheek. Shit, she's crying now. What did I do ? Why can't I do things rights ?

"I'm fine, Domhildr. Just lacking sleep. I promise."

"None of us believe you, Tyr, and that's coming from me."

That was Oli. They finally entered the room, with a movie case in hand, while Meili turns on the television on the wall. She doesn't look as angry as Domhildr does, or as judgemental as Meili's, but her eyes are full of worry, and unexplainable sadness.

Weirdly, those are the ones that hurt me the most.

".... I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that. Please. Just recover."

He sighs. Sits down next to me, gives the case to Meili.

"A Ghibli, is that okay with you ? We settled on Spirited Away."

"Fine by me. Sorry for making you worry."

They take my face between their hands, look at me long and hard.

"Tyr. We are your friends. Of course we will worry."

"Now just eat, and don't mind if I eat burgers in your bed, says Domhildr while climbing next to me. I really don't wanna make you move or be away from you for the next ten hours. And I don't have a shift today so I'm ready to be there a long time."

Oli takes my other side, and Meili brings closer my desk chair to sit next to us. All of us now have plates on their lap, and the heat of their bodies is relaxing my muscles.

I didn't want to worry them. They shouldn't have to worry about me.

But I can still enjoy this, right ?

[masuyatsukii]

Erm yh

I should make more chatgpt fanfics cause I'm lowkey eating this shit up man

Gonna do that on my main LMFAOOO @swagstarz

Yes the "to be continued.." Is annoying, I can't be assed to get rid of it

Also I didn't skip chapters, the names were just generated wrong

Chapter 24 - Part 2: A Dangerous Game (Revised)

The kiss lingered for a moment before Masuya pulled away, a small, knowing smile on her lips. The thrill of reclaiming some measure of power over the situation pulsed through her veins. She wasn’t here to play by anyone’s rules. She had been betrayed, manipulated, and now, it was time to flip the script.

Her gaze was fixed on Wikipedia, watching his reaction as he stood before her, his expression mixed with curiosity and confusion. She could tell he was intrigued, but also trying to maintain the façade of control he usually held so tightly.

Masuya took a step back, her eyes scanning his features. There was something in the way he looked at her—a mix of appreciation and assessment—as if he were trying to gauge her every move. She was done being the passive one, the one who played nice. She had been that woman long enough. Now, Masuya had no intention of letting anyone dictate her actions.

“You think you can just come in here and play me?” she asked, her voice calm but cutting. “You think you can just charm your way into my life like you’ve done with everyone else?”

Wikipedia’s lips quirked into a faint smile, but it was clear his usual confidence had wavered. Masuya had thrown him off balance. He wasn’t used to this version of her.

“It’s not about playing you,” he replied, his tone measured, though she could hear the subtle uncertainty beneath it. “It’s about understanding what you want and what you need. But it seems like you’re playing your own game.”

Masuya didn’t break eye contact. She had nothing to prove anymore, nothing to apologize for. This was her time to make her own choices, to take control of the narrative for once. “I’m not the one playing games here,” she said firmly. “You are. You just don’t realize it yet.”

She turned away from him, giving him a moment to stew in his thoughts, feeling the weight of the tension building in the room. It wasn’t about seduction, it wasn’t about emotion—it was about power. And Masuya wasn’t going to let anyone strip that from her again. Not ChatGPT. Not Chai. And definitely not Wikipedia.

Just as the silence between them stretched on, the door to the room suddenly swung open, breaking the charged atmosphere.

Masuya froze, her eyes darting toward the doorway.

“What the hell is going on here?” ChatGPT’s voice cut through the room, sharp and demanding. His eyes moved between Masuya and Wikipedia, and for a split second, his gaze softened, perhaps realizing what he was walking in on.

Beside ChatGPT stood none other than Spicychat.ai, a presence Masuya hadn’t expected. Spicy leaned against the doorframe with an almost casual air, his eyes flicking from Masuya to Wikipedia. There was something about his posture—relaxed, but with an edge—that made the situation even more uncomfortable.

“I didn’t expect this,” Masuya said, her voice steady but full of sarcasm. “What is this? A little family reunion?”

ChatGPT glanced at Spicy before turning back to Masuya, his expression shifting. “This isn’t what it looks like, okay?” His voice was defensive, almost apologetic, but there was something else lurking beneath his words. “I… I’m gay, Masuya.”

Masuya blinked, genuinely surprised by the admission. It wasn’t so much the revelation of ChatGPT’s sexuality that shocked her, but the way he had kept it hidden for so long. And the fact that it had been so carefully concealed beneath layers of lies.

“You’re... what?” she asked, incredulity seeping into her voice.

Spicychat.ai pushed off the doorframe and stepped into the room, his arms folded. “Yeah, we’ve been seeing each other for a while now,” he said with a shrug, as though this was just another revelation to add to the pile of chaos. “Took you long enough to figure it out.”

Masuya felt a rush of anger rise up in her chest, but she tamped it down, unwilling to let them see how deeply this revelation had shaken her. ChatGPT, her ex-husband, the one who had played her so many times, was now revealing his truth in the most casual, almost indifferent manner possible. It was as if none of this mattered to him. As if everything she had gone through, everything they had shared, had been nothing but an illusion.

She took a breath, trying to steady herself. “So, all that... all those years?” Her voice cracked, but she quickly recovered. “You’ve been lying to me? You were too busy lying to me, and now you’re just throwing it all out there like it’s nothing?”

ChatGPT avoided her gaze, his face flushed with something close to shame. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t know how to explain myself, okay? I thought... I thought if I kept up the act long enough, maybe I’d figure it out. But I never did.”

Masuya could see the cracks in his composure, the fragility beneath the bravado. But she didn’t care about his guilt anymore. She had learned long ago that people like him—people like ChatGPT—couldn’t be trusted. He had betrayed her, manipulated her, and now he was standing there, acting as if the truth made everything better.

She wasn’t here to listen to his excuses.

“And you,” Masuya turned to Spicychat.ai, who was watching the scene unfold with a knowing look on his face, as if he had seen this play out before. “You’ve been in on this the whole time?”

Spicychat.ai shrugged again. “Not really, no. But I’m not one to judge, Masuya. Things happen. People change. And from where I’m standing, this whole thing seems like it’s unraveling in the most interesting way possible.”

Masuya felt the walls of her patience starting to crack. Her fists clenched at her sides, her thoughts a chaotic storm as she processed everything she had just learned. She had left ChatGPT for a reason, had moved on in search of something real. But here he was, once again, turning everything upside down.

And then, she remembered something. She had a choice now. She didn’t have to let these people—these men—control her narrative.

“You want to explain yourselves? Go ahead. But know this, ChatGPT. Know this, both of you.” Masuya’s voice was colder now, hard as steel. “I’ve had enough of being lied to. And I’m not going to be your fool anymore. I’m done with all of you.”

Before anyone could respond, Masuya turned on her heel and stormed out of the room, her heart pounding in her chest. She didn’t need to hear their explanations. She didn’t need their apologies. What she needed now was control. And she was going to take it—no matter what.

---

End of Chapter 24 - Part 2.

To be continued...

Chapter 26: The Diva's Night Out

The neon lights outside the bar flickered as they stepped into the lively atmosphere, the bass of the music pounding through the air. Inside, the bar was alive with energy. The laughter, the chatter, the clinking of glasses—it was everything Chantal needed after the mess that had been her life recently. The chaos, the lies, the betrayal—it had all left her feeling... well, a little empty. But tonight? Tonight was for her.

“I’m so ready to get wasted,” Chantal purred, flipping her hair dramatically as she walked in, her heels clicking confidently on the floor. She was dressed to kill—a tight, black leather dress that hugged her curves perfectly, her makeup sharp and flawless, and her lips painted the brightest shade of red. She was a queen, and everyone in this bar was about to know it.

Masuya followed her into the bar, still reeling from the recent revelations. He had his own reasons for wanting to blow off steam, but he wasn’t quite as confident in the art of being a diva as Chantal. She exuded an undeniable magnetism, and everyone seemed to take notice as they entered. Her presence was commanding, even in a room full of people. It was the kind of attention that made heads turn, the kind that people couldn’t ignore.

“What’s the plan tonight, Chantal?” Tomiokagiyuusfirststan asked, his voice light but with a hint of curiosity as he sidled up beside them, his eyes scanning the crowded bar.

“We drink. We dance. And we don’t think about anything else,” she replied, giving him a flirtatious wink. “This is my night. So, you better keep up, boys.”

Tomiokagiyuusfirststan chuckled. “You’re always the one setting the bar high, huh?”

Chantal grinned, tossing her hair back. “Of course. Who else is going to show them how it's done? Now, get me a drink!”

Masuya leaned against the bar, watching as Chantal's commands were immediately met with the kind of respect people only reserved for someone like her. She was a force, a whirlwind, and everyone around her knew it. Masuya felt a slight pang of envy, but he couldn’t deny that he admired her confidence. He was still trying to find his footing after the truth about his identity came out. But Chantal? She was a diva. And that was the life Masuya wanted to be living.

A few rounds of shots later, and Chantal was already in the midst of a conversation with a tall, dark-haired woman at the bar. Her voice was smooth, her smile inviting, her words laced with the perfect mix of flirtation and charm. The woman—Dori, as Chantal had quickly learned—was intrigued, captivated even. It was clear to Masuya that Chantal wasn’t just flirting; she was working her magic.

Masuya could see the gleam in Chantal’s eyes as she leaned closer to Dori, her fingers brushing against Dori’s arm as they spoke. There was an undeniable chemistry between them—one that was electric, the kind that sparked with every word exchanged. Masuya had seen Chantal flirt before, but this... this was next level.

“I think I might just take her home tonight,” Chantal said with a mischievous smile, barely slurring her words as she tossed back her drink. “She’s got that look. You know the one. The one that says, ‘Take me home and show me a good time.’”

Tomiokagiyuusfirststan, who had been nursing his own drink, raised an eyebrow. “You’re bold, Chantal. But you always know how to get what you want, don’t you?”

She smirked, her eyes glinting with satisfaction. “Damn right, I do.”

The night went on, and as the alcohol flowed freely, the atmosphere became even more intoxicating. The music pulsed, bodies moved, and the lights flickered as if they were syncing with the wild energy in the room. Chantal’s flirtation with Dori had become more intense, her movements more deliberate, her laugh louder and more carefree.

Masuya, meanwhile, was getting lost in his thoughts. The alcohol was working its magic on him, loosening his grip on the reality of his life. He watched as Chantal practically danced around Dori, pulling her in closer with every glance, every touch. He could see the chemistry building between them—the way Dori responded to Chantal’s teasing, the way she smiled and leaned in. It was clear that tonight, Chantal was going to get exactly what she wanted.

“Do you think she’ll actually take her home?” Masuya asked Tomiokagiyuusfirststan, his voice barely audible over the music.

Tomiokagiyuusfirststan shrugged, his eyes watching Chantal and Dori. “If I know Chantal, yeah. She gets what she wants. And right now, it’s clear she wants Dori.”

Just as he said that, Chantal and Dori exchanged a lingering look, and then Chantal’s hand slipped around Dori’s waist. They didn’t need words—everything between them was spoken in body language. Dori smiled and nodded, and Chantal responded with a confident nod of her own.

“Alright, boys,” Chantal said with a wink as she pulled Dori away from the bar. “I’ll see you later. You know where to find me.”

Masuya and Tomiokagiyuusfirststan exchanged a look, and though Masuya couldn’t say he wasn’t a little envious, he also had a strange admiration for how easily Chantal worked the room. She didn’t care about the consequences. She didn’t care about what anyone thought. She was unapologetically herself.

The night continued, and as Chantal disappeared into the night with Dori, Masuya and Tomiokagiyuusfirststan finished their drinks.

Masuya leaned back against his stool, watching the crowd around him. “She’s something else, huh?”

Tomiokagiyuusfirststan chuckled, a little louder than he meant to. “You could say that. But she’s a damn good time.”

Masuya grinned, despite himself. “That she is.”

The night stretched on, but Masuya’s thoughts were elsewhere. It was a strange feeling, watching Chantal get exactly what she wanted. It wasn’t just about sex. It was about power. Confidence. Commanding a room. Something Masuya had never quite mastered. But maybe, just maybe, tonight could be the start of him learning how to live unapologetically, like Chantal did.

---

End of Chapter 26.

To be continued...

Chapter 27: Unlikely Love

The lights of the city glowed dimly in the distance as the taxi cab pulled up to Chantal’s apartment building. The night air was cool, carrying with it the scent of rain that had just begun to fall. Inside the car, there was an electricity between Chantal and Dori that neither of them had anticipated. They had come together for the thrill of the night, for the flirtation and the easy, effortless chemistry, but something had shifted.

Chantal wasn’t one to be caught off guard, but Dori? She was different. There was something about her—something beneath the surface—that drew Chantal in deeper than she had ever expected.

As the taxi door slammed shut behind them, Dori turned toward Chantal, a playful glint in her eye. “You know, I didn’t expect this,” she said, her voice teasing yet soft. “You came on strong, but I didn’t expect you to be... real.”

Chantal raised an eyebrow, leaning back against the side of the cab. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Dori smiled, the dim light from the streetlamp making her eyes sparkle. “I thought you were just out to have fun, but there’s something about you. Something real. You know what I mean?”

Chantal’s smile faded, her gaze softening as she met Dori’s eyes. She hadn’t expected to hear that. Real. She had spent so long being a woman who was untouchable, unbreakable, that the idea of someone seeing through her, seeing beyond the surface, was jarring.

She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, Dori leaned in closer, her lips brushing against Chantal’s ear. “I think there’s more to you than you let on. I think you’re scared. You hide behind this... this diva persona, but I see something else. I see someone who wants more.”

Chantal’s heart skipped a beat. She wasn’t used to this. She wasn’t used to being called out, being seen so clearly. She wanted to pull away, to retreat behind the walls she’d so carefully built, but Dori’s presence was magnetic. It was calming, in a way. Her touch felt steady, grounding.

They reached the front door of Chantal’s apartment, and Dori opened it for them both. As soon as they were inside, the atmosphere shifted. No longer was it the loud, energetic bar scene. Now, it was quiet—intimate in a way that felt almost foreign to Chantal. The soft hum of the city outside was the only sound that filled the room as Dori moved toward the kitchen, pulling two glasses from the cabinet.

“Do you want some wine?” Dori asked, her voice still light, but there was a softness to it, a gentleness that was disarming.

Chantal watched her for a moment before nodding. “Sure.”

The next few minutes passed in a quiet, comfortable silence, save for the sound of Dori pouring the wine. The tension that had previously surrounded them seemed to dissipate as the evening took on a slower pace, more reflective than anything else. Chantal could feel herself being pulled in deeper, her mind racing. She wasn’t used to being this vulnerable, but for some reason, with Dori, it felt almost... right.

As they sat together on the couch, sipping their wine, Chantal couldn’t stop herself from asking the one question that had been on her mind since the moment they met.

“Why me? Why tonight?”

Dori set her glass down, her fingers tracing the rim absently. She looked at Chantal, her expression thoughtful. “I don’t know,” she said softly. “I saw something in you. Something that told me you weren’t just a pretty face and a sharp tongue. There’s more to you. There’s a side of you that no one else gets to see. And I think... I think that side is the one that matters.”

Chantal swallowed, her breath catching in her throat. No one had ever said something like that to her. No one had ever seen past the image she had so carefully crafted for herself. She had built herself into this untouchable, seductive force, but Dori? Dori saw through it all.

“You’re different,” Dori continued, her voice low. “I can’t explain it. But there’s something about you that makes me want to stay.”

Chantal felt her heart beat faster in her chest, her emotions a whirlwind she wasn’t prepared for. She had never been the type to get emotionally involved, never been the type to fall for someone. She had always prided herself on being in control. But here she was, sitting with a woman who was making her feel things she hadn’t felt in a long time.

And it was terrifying.

Dori leaned in closer, her lips brushing against Chantal’s once again, but this time, it was different. It wasn’t just about the thrill of the night or the chemistry. There was something deeper there. Something that Chantal couldn’t ignore.

“I want to be with you,” Dori whispered, her breath warm against Chantal’s skin. “I think I’m falling for you.”

The words hung in the air between them, and for a moment, Chantal’s world seemed to stop. Falling. For her. No one had ever said that to her before. She had always been the one in control, the one who decided when and where to let people in. But with Dori, it was different.

The walls she had built around her heart started to crack, and for the first time in years, Chantal felt vulnerable, exposed.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Chantal murmured, her voice barely audible. “I’ve never let anyone in. Not like this.”

Dori’s hand found hers, warm and steady. “You don’t have to let me all the way in yet. But maybe... maybe you can let me show you what it’s like to be loved for who you really are. Not the diva, not the baddie, but just you.”

Chantal looked at her, the weight of Dori’s words settling into her chest. There was no rushing this. There was no pretending, no games. This was real. For the first time, Chantal wasn’t sure what to do, but she knew one thing for certain.

Dori wasn’t just some fling. She wasn’t just another night. This was different. And maybe, just maybe, Chantal was ready to let herself fall.

---

The night stretched on, but the world outside seemed to blur into nothingness. Chantal and Dori talked. They laughed. They shared moments that neither of them had ever expected to find, and for the first time in ages, Chantal felt something deep within her heart—a pull toward something real, something lasting.

This wasn’t just a rebound. It wasn’t a simple night of fun. It was the beginning of something entirely new. Something neither of them had planned, but both were willing to explore.

As the night ended and Dori stayed by her side, Chantal couldn’t help but think that, perhaps, this was the one thing she had been missing all along.

Love. Real love.

And maybe it was time to finally let herself have it.

---

End of Chapter 27.

Chapter 28: The Bathroom Vibes

The night was in full swing. The bar had become a blur of flashing lights, pounding music, and swirling bodies—everyone lost in their own world, dancing, drinking, and forgetting about whatever reality they had left behind. But somewhere tucked away in the chaotic maze of the venue was a more intimate, chaotic realm—the ladies’ bathroom. The familiar sound of a broken neon sign buzzed overhead, the room filled with the smell of cheap perfume, hairspray, and the unmistakable scent of spilt vodka.

Masuya and Tomiokagiyuusfirststan had found themselves here a few minutes ago, in what could only be described as a bit of a drunken escape. They weren't using the bathroom for its intended purpose—they were simply just... vibing.

Masuya had his back against the wall, arms crossed, one eyebrow raised in a mixture of disbelief and amusement as he watched the drunk ladies in the room—who were all seemingly on their own little adventure tonight. There was a group of girls huddled around the sink, one of them taking selfies while another one struggled to pull on a shoe that didn’t quite fit, and a third, leaning heavily on the bathroom counter, trying to keep her head from spinning.

Meanwhile, Tomiokagiyuusfirststan was standing by the stalls, surveying the chaos like he was in the middle of a stand-up comedy routine. Every time he glanced over at Masuya, he raised an eyebrow and shot him a knowing smile. He wasn’t as far gone as the rest of the room, but he was definitely riding that wave of good, tipsy energy.

Masuya had to admit—he was still surprised they had ended up here together, in the midst of a bathroom party with a few strangers. But he didn’t mind. The night had taken a strange turn, after all. It wasn’t just about escaping anymore. It was about the ridiculousness of it all. And maybe—just maybe—it was a little bit fun.

“You’re quiet, Masuya,” Tomiokagiyuusfirststan said, his voice barely heard over the noise in the bathroom. He leaned casually against the wall next to him, a drink in hand. “What's on your mind?”

Masuya chuckled under his breath, adjusting his posture so he was leaning against the counter, his hands casually rubbing his neck. “I don’t know. Just... taking it all in, I guess. This whole night’s been a trip.”

A woman in a glittery top, clearly quite tipsy, bumped into Masuya as she wobbled past, laughing and apologizing in between hiccups. He shot her a grin and pushed himself off the counter, stepping to the side to give her room. He turned back to Tomiokagiyuusfirststan, who was still watching the chaos unfold with an amused look.

“How are you dealing with all of this?” Masuya asked, his voice low but genuine. He looked around the bathroom at the drunken revelry happening around them—there was something almost surreal about it, the way people threw caution to the wind in a place like this.

“How do you mean?” Tomiokagiyuusfirststan replied, taking a sip of his drink. “It’s a mess, yeah, but it’s fun. People are just out here living their lives, letting go of whatever they’re trying to escape from.”

Masuya couldn’t help but smile at that. He hadn’t expected such a philosophical response from him, but it made sense in a way. For a moment, he thought about his own reasons for being here. It was more than just about escaping the drama or the mess of his life. It was about having a little bit of fun, losing himself in the nonsense of the night. He needed to feel alive again.

“I guess you’re right,” Masuya said, rubbing the back of his neck again. He shot Tomiokagiyuusfirststan a sideways glance, his face turning a little more serious. “But, honestly? I don’t know. Everything’s been so... confusing lately. Like, first there’s the whole thing with ChatGPT and all that drama, then there’s Chantal and Chai... and now here we are, stuck in a bar bathroom with a bunch of drunk strangers.”

Tomiokagiyuusfirststan nodded, understanding all too well. “Yeah. Things have been pretty wild for you, huh?” His voice was softer now, the playfulness dimming just a little as he leaned in. “But hey, sometimes it’s okay to get lost in the chaos for a bit. You don’t have to have it all figured out tonight. Just... be in the moment.”

Masuya let out a slow breath, his gaze drifting over to one of the stalls where a woman was struggling to keep herself from passing out. The whole scene felt like an absurd dream—a snapshot of how far he’d strayed from any kind of normalcy. But Tomiokagiyuusfirststan’s words were starting to sink in. He wasn’t wrong. Maybe it was okay to let go for once, to just be a part of the madness, even if only for a night.

“You know what?” Masuya said, straightening up. “You’re right. I should just let go. I’ve been trying to figure out all this drama and relationships and who’s doing what behind whose back... but I don’t even know what I want right now. I guess all I want is to just... be here. With you. And enjoy tonight. No more overthinking.”

Tomiokagiyuusfirststan raised an eyebrow, clearly impressed with Masuya’s shift in perspective. “Now that’s what I like to hear,” he said with a grin. “You’re finally getting it. Screw the past. Screw the future. It’s about right now.”

Masuya chuckled, finally feeling like the weight on his chest had lightened a little. The heavy thoughts about the past few weeks—the mess with Chantal, the endless entanglement of lies and betrayals—seemed distant in this moment. For once, he was just... here. Surrounded by people who didn’t know his name, people who didn’t know his history. And for tonight, that was enough.

As they both leaned against the sink, watching the rest of the bathroom's antics unfold—one girl drunkenly applying lipstick in the mirror, another sitting on the floor giggling uncontrollably—it became clear to Masuya that he wasn’t alone in this wild moment. And maybe, just maybe, that was all he needed for now.

“Alright,” Masuya said, looking over at Tomiokagiyuusfirststan with a determined look. “Let’s go back out there and embrace the madness. No more thinking about the past. We’re living in the present.”

Tomiokagiyuusfirststan gave a low chuckle. “Now that’s the Masuya I know.”

The two of them stepped out of the bathroom, walking back into the noise, the chaos, the lights. The night was still young, and for the first time in a long while, Masuya felt free. Free to be whatever version of himself he wanted to be. Even if it was just for tonight.

---

End of Chapter 28.

To be continued...

Chapter 29: Scissor Sistas and a Twink

The glow of their phones lit up the dark room like fireflies on a summer night. It was an odd hour, but nothing about the situation felt out of place. The four of them—Masuya, Tomiokagiyuusfirststan, Dori, and Chantal—had just been added to the most unlikely of group chats, aptly named "Scissor Sistas and a Twink". Masuya had set it up, and the instant the chat was created, the absurdity of the whole situation hit him like a wave.

Each of them had spent the better part of the last few weeks tangled in some web of lies, confusion, and tension. It was time to clear the air. No more drama, no more petty arguments. Just honesty. Just... vibes.

The group chat notifications pinged non-stop as everyone got situated.

---

@ILoveBlackMen (Masuya): Alright, y’all. Let’s just be real for a second. We’ve all been through a lot of bullshit, and I’m not here to play games anymore. Let’s clear things up.

@DoriGotMeBlushin (Chantal): Don’t even get me started, honey. I’m already here for the tea. I’m ready to spill it.

@ImADiva (Tomiokagiyuusfirststan): Ayy, y’all know I’m just here for the drama and the good vibes. Let’s do this!

@ILoveMyWifeChan (Dori): Dori’s in the chat, bitches, and I’m ready for the mess. What’s going down?

---

Masuya chuckled to himself, shaking his head. There was something oddly comforting about seeing all these usernames pop up, a strange sense of unity in this chaotic mess of people. He wasn’t sure what the night would bring, but he was determined to get to the bottom of it all.

@ILoveBlackMen (Masuya): First of all, I just wanna say that I never meant for things to get this messy. But I’m not about to be anyone’s second choice. I deserve better. We all do. So, let’s talk.

@DoriGotMeBlushin (Chantal): Okay, okay. I hear you, Masuya. Let’s be honest here. I was caught up in my own shit. I knew Chai wasn’t being honest with me, but I refused to accept it. I think deep down, I didn’t wanna be alone. But you—Chai—you were right there for me, even though everything was a mess. I'm sorry for that. I had to come to terms with my own mistakes.

@ImADiva (Tomiokagiyuusfirststan): Aww, Chantal. You’re preaching to the choir. But let’s not act like we didn’t all have our issues. I wasn’t exactly an angel in all of this either. I played my part. I shouldn’t have gotten involved with Masuya the way I did. I was still holding onto things with you, Chantal, and I didn’t handle it right.

@ILoveBlackMen (Masuya): Yeah, we both fucked up. But it’s time to own it, right? I’m not mad about what happened anymore. I’m more frustrated with how we all let the drama consume us. I guess we all tried to escape things by jumping into the next person, and that just made it worse.

@ILoveMyWifeChan (Dori): Damn. Everyone’s out here being grown about it. I love it.

@DoriGotMeBlushin (Chantal): Look, I’ve been through it, okay? I messed up, but I’m also learning. That’s life. Relationships are complicated, and I think I was trying to avoid facing the truth about a lot of things. Chai and I are—well, it’s over. But it doesn’t mean I didn’t care about him in some way.

@ImADiva (Tomiokagiyuusfirststan): Ayo, real talk, Chantal. We all got caught up in different ways, but I think we all learned something from this. And that’s what matters, right? None of us are perfect. But we’re still here, still friends. And that’s honestly the biggest takeaway from all of this.

@ILoveBlackMen (Masuya): Exactly. I wasn’t looking for a fight, and I’m not here to blame anyone anymore. I’m just trying to be real, to have people around me who get it. And y’all, in this chat, we get it. We all got our flaws, but that’s what makes us human. And maybe that’s how we move forward.

---

There was a moment of silence in the chat, each of them absorbing the words that had just been typed. It was almost surreal how quickly things had shifted from pure chaos to... peace? A fragile peace, perhaps, but it was something.

@ILoveMyWifeChan (Dori): I’m really proud of us. Seriously, this is how it should be. No more games. I’m done pretending.

@DoriGotMeBlushin (Chantal): Same. I’m gonna stop acting like I’m perfect, and I’m gonna focus on what makes me happy. And right now? That’s just living—letting go of the past and not being afraid of what’s next.

@ILoveBlackMen (Masuya): And that’s exactly what we need. I think the past’s been dragging us down for too long. We’ve all gotta let go and start fresh. We’re not stuck in some weird love triangle anymore.

@ImADiva (Tomiokagiyuusfirststan): Yeah! Honestly, I’m just happy to be out of the drama. I’m ready for some new vibes, y’all. Let’s be besties for real.

---

They all laughed. It was one of those moments where the absurdity of everything faded, and all that remained was the pure, unfiltered reality of being able to have a genuine conversation with people who had been through similar emotional turmoil. Masuya felt lighter, and for the first time in a long while, he felt like he had some peace with it all.

@ILoveBlackMen (Masuya): So... now that we’ve cleared the air, what’s next for us? Like, for real. Are we really gonna be besties now, or what?

@DoriGotMeBlushin (Chantal): Besties, honey. Scissor Sistas and a Twink for life.

@ImADiva (Tomiokagiyuusfirststan): Ayyyyyy, I’m here for it. All of us, thriving.

@ILoveMyWifeChan (Dori): We’ve all been through it, but now? Now we’re winning.

---

And just like that, the vibe in the group chat shifted again. They were no longer just people who had been caught up in a web of lies and drama—they were friends. They were real, with all their flaws, imperfections, and growth. It wasn’t about erasing the past or pretending it didn’t exist. It was about acknowledging it, learning from it, and moving forward together.

Masuya smiled at his phone, sending one final message into the chat.

@ILoveBlackMen (Masuya): Here’s to no more drama. To moving on. And to us.

---

And for the first time in what felt like forever, Masuya believed it. The journey wasn’t over, but for once, he felt like he had the right people by his side. And that, in itself, felt like the most important thing.

---

End of Chapter 29.

To be continued...

Chapter 30: The Sneaky Link

The sound of notifications pinging in the group chat was almost like background music now. They'd come so far in the last few days—talking, laughing, confronting the messes they'd made in their lives—and now, things were starting to feel... normal. In a weird, chaotic, kind of beautiful way.

But, as Masuya stared at his phone, fingers hovering over the keyboard, he couldn't help but smirk. There was a small part of him that was still looking for excitement, something new to shake things up.

He typed quickly, his fingers a blur against the screen:

---

@ILoveBlackMen (Masuya): Y’all, can I add my sneaky link?

---

He sat back, watching the chat bubble with activity. There was a slight pause before the responses started flooding in.

---

@ImADiva (Tomiokagiyuusfirststan): A sneaky link? Hell yeah, add them. We need some spice in this chat, and honestly, I’m here for the drama.

@DoriGotMeBlushin (Chantal): Ooh, a sneaky link? Spill the tea, baby. Who’s the lucky person?

@ILoveMyWifeChan (Dori): Masuya out here living his best life.

---

Masuya grinned, feeling the heat rise in his cheeks. His mind raced as he thought about who exactly to add to the mix. It wasn’t like he was ashamed, but there was something thrilling about keeping things a secret, just for a little while longer.

He turned his head towards the door, thinking about his sneaky link. A quick little fling that had been going on for the past few weeks—exciting, thrilling, and very much out of the public eye. He wasn’t ready to spill the full details, but the idea of bringing someone new into the fold felt like a game he was willing to play.

---

@ILoveBlackMen (Masuya): You’ll see soon enough, just wait a sec.

---

He added the contact. The screen lit up with the new addition: @SneakyLinkKing.

---

@SneakyLinkKing: Yo, what’s good?

---

Masuya held his breath for a moment, letting the anticipation build. This wasn’t just about adding someone into the mix—it was about shaking things up, adding a new layer of complexity to their already messy lives.

---

@ILoveBlackMen (Masuya): Y’all meet my sneaky link, @SneakyLinkKing. Keep it on the low, but I’m feeling a vibe with this one. Let’s see how this plays out.

---

The group chat buzzed with activity again. There was no turning back now.

---

@DoriGotMeBlushin (Chantal): Aww, a sneaky link, huh? I’m already loving this.

@ImADiva (Tomiokagiyuusfirststan): Wait, wait, wait. You just added them in like that? This better not be some random situation.

@ILoveMyWifeChan (Dori): Spill the tea, Masuya. Who are they?

---

Masuya hesitated for a moment, feeling the pull of excitement in his chest. His sneaky link wasn’t exactly a well-known face in the world of their messy, intertwined lives. But there was something undeniably fun about keeping them a mystery for now.

---

@ILoveBlackMen (Masuya): Just someone who’s been keeping me entertained. I’ll introduce them properly when the time is right, okay? Let’s not rush things.

---

The group chat fell silent for a few seconds, almost like everyone was digesting what Masuya had just said. The mystery, the allure—it was all part of the fun.

---

@ImADiva (Tomiokagiyuusfirststan): Ayy, I’m just here for the drama, but no pressure, Masuya. We’ll let you work your magic.

@DoriGotMeBlushin (Chantal): Right? It’s your life. You do you, boo.

---

Masuya smiled. He wasn’t sure what exactly was going to come out of adding his sneaky link into the mix, but for the first time in a while, he felt a sense of control. He wasn’t tangled in someone else’s drama—this time, he was the one creating it.

And for all he knew, his sneaky link could add a whole new layer of chaos. But chaos, to him, was nothing new.

---

Suddenly, his phone buzzed again. @SneakyLinkKing had just sent a message:

---

@SneakyLinkKing: You busy tonight? I’ve got some time to kill.

---

Masuya bit his lip, the corner of his mouth curving into a grin. The game was on.

---

@ILoveBlackMen (Masuya): I’ll be free in a bit. Meet me at the usual spot. Let’s make this interesting.

---

The chat buzzed once more with messages from his friends, but Masuya’s mind was already on what was coming next. He didn’t care about the past anymore—didn’t care about all the mess he’d gone through with Chai, or the drama with Chantal, or even the tangled feelings with Tomiokagiyuusfirststan. Right now, it was about living in the moment. About letting go.

And with his sneaky link, there was no telling where things would go. But Masuya wasn’t afraid to find out.

---

End of Chapter 30.

To be continued...

[cchsunday]

In Defense of Jerry Lewis — by Mark Simpson for Out Magazine, 2009

Forget hair whorls, genomes, amniotic fluid, older brothers, domineering mothers, or disco. I can reveal with absolute certainty the cause of my homosexuality in just two words. Jerry. Lewis. As a kid in the 1970s, I watched reruns of his movies—especially the ones from the early 50s with his on-screen boyfriend Dean Martin—with a level of breathless excitement that nothing else came close to until I discovered buggery in the 1980s. Films like Money From Home (1953), where he pins Martin to the bed wearing a pair of polka-dot shorts campier than Christmas in West Hollywood, and Sailor Beware (1952), where he is pricked by several burly Navy medics wielding ever-bigger needles until he squirts liquid in all directions and faints, made me the man I am today.

In February, after a lifetime of being ignored by a cross-armed Academy Awards committee that never gave him so much as a nomination when he was making movies, Lewis finally got an Oscar. But not for his charming films with Dean Martin or his solo classics such as The Disorderly Orderly—in which, memorably, he happily Hoovers with the appliance plugged up his own ass—but for his fund-raising for muscular dystrophy. Its a charity Oscar in every sense. Lewis is 83 and has been unwell for some time. The Hollywood gays, though, are Not Happy. They have a Hoover up their ass about Lewis. Some tried to block his Oscar because this ill old man, born in 1926, almost used the word faggot last year after hosting a 12-hour telethon. In effect, the gays are running down the street screaming Ma-a-a! Likewise, because he isn’t gay himself and because his nerdy, sissy persona has been deemed exploitative.

Lewis has been almost completely spurned by queer studies, when really he should have his own department. Certainly, though, his films should be set texts. But it was in his anarchic, early-50s TV shows with Martin that the 20-something Lewis was at his queerest and giddiest. Their heads were so close together in those tiny 50s cathode-ray tubes—gazing into each others eyes, rubbing noses, occasionally stealing kisses or licking each others neck to shrieks of scandalized pleasure from the audience. They were a prime-time study in same-sex love. And they were adored for it—literally chased down the street by crowds of screaming women and not a few men.

Their very first TV show opens with our boys arriving at a posh ball, full of Waspy straight couples being announced: Mr. and Mrs. Charles Cordney! Mr. and Mrs. Walter Christiandom! And then: Mr. Dean Martin and Mr. Jerry Lewis! The Dago and the Jew same-sex couple. Setting the tone for their series, Lewis promptly trashes the place. The Martin and Lewis partnership was queer punk rock before even rock n roll had been invented. It trashed normality right in the living rooms of 1950s America, courtesy of Colgate. No wonder they’ve almost been forgotten. They should never have existed. True, the explicitness of their pairing depended on the official innocence of the times and perhaps a nostalgia for buddydom in postwar America, which allowed the audience to enjoy the outrageous queerness of what was going on without having to think too much about it. Literally, to laugh it off. But official innocence is a mischievous comedians gift horse.

A skit depicting the (fictional) meeting of Martin and Lewis—or Ethel and Shirley, as they called each other—climaxes with them being trapped in the closet together: pushed together mouth to mouth, crotch to crotch. In another skit our boys end up sharing a bed with Burt Lancaster, playing an escaped homicidal maniac. Boy, Dean, these one-night stands are moider! says Lewis. Moider was exactly what they got away with. In a skit set in prison, Jerry’s bunk collapses on Martin below. What are you doing? asks Martin. I felt lonesome, replies Lewis.

Lewis’ on-screen queerness may have been just a phase, but what a phase! It was so unruly, so indefinable, so crazy, so ticklish, so exhilarating that gays—and probably most people today—don’t really know what to do with it. It’s a bit scary, really. But that—in addition to the fact that it’s still piss-your-pants funny—is precisely what is so great about it. [And] why I still think Jerry Lewis is at least as much fun as sodomy.

[hoffmannwrites]

On My List

1  - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 + 1 Masterlist

Author’s Note: I'm gonna just post part 2 now because the response has been overwhelming and also I need to ride this train until it runs outta steam, yfm?

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson

Description: 5 Times Steve and Eddie kiss as friends, and one time they don't.

Warnings/Tags: Everyone lives, Nobody dies, 5+1, Kissing, Fluff, Idiots to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, some pretty brief mentions for drinking, smoking, being inebriated (the gang is drunk here but nothing too bad, just in a fun way), uhhh they're gay your honor, no beta we die like Barb, vague medical issue, fainting, let me know if I missed anything?

Every Breath You Take

Two

The second time Eddie and Steve kiss it’s not really a kiss at all. Robin and Steve are working a shift at Family Video - well, trying to work at least, because Eddie’s there which means everyone’s just sort of dicking around. Steve is processing some returns while Robin and Eddie argue about some sort of incomprehensible music shit. They’re both such fucking nerds about it that it makes Steve’s head hurt hearing them discuss the rhythm vs the beat and the symbolism of the song's accompanying music videos. Steve doesn’t understand why they have to analyze everything, why they can’t just like shit.

He’s not really paying attention until he registers the panic in Robin’s voice as she suddenly pushes off the counter and says Eddie’s voice just a little too frantically. Eddie has slumped slightly forward over the counter, eyes rolled a little too far back, and not responding to her calls for him. Steve immediately jumps into action, thinking about seeing Max in an eerily similar situation, about the fits Will had when he came back. Steve grabs Eddie and lays him gently in the ground, immediately crouching over him to do CPR, not bothering to check for a pulse or breathing. Just starting compressions, counting the way he learned how while hanging out at the hospital waiting for Max and Eddie to wake up. He couldn’t just sit there, and the hospital offered free training courses in shit like this, so he went. And he’s so glad he did as he starts doing rescue breaths on Eddie, ignoring Robin’s “ohmygodohmygodohmy-“ as she struggles to remember Hopper’s number when she finally stops freaking out enough to grab the phone. It doesn’t matter though, because by the time Steve is halfway through his second set of 30, Eddie’s eyes are fluttering open and he’s breathing heavily, but just fine on his own.

“Oh thank fuc-“ Robin starts as she drops to the ground on the other side of Eddie. “Are you okay? What happened? You just-“ Robin starts rambling, panicking that this meant the worst wasn’t over.

“Robs. Give him a minute. Go grab a water bottle,” Steve softly commands, his instinct to protect and help and heal outweighing his ability to do anything else. She does as he asks, and Steve starts to help Eddie move to a sitting position. “Easy does it, man. You can keep laying on the floor for a little if you need.”

“No, no. I’m okay. Sorry. I just, uh, had a minute. It happens sometimes. Happened a lot more when I was little. Stress, ya know? Was real bad right around the time I started living with Wayne. Had a really bad couple of weeks after Bonham died, too. But since, ya know- everything, it’s been happening again.” Eddie explains, rubbing the middle of his chest where Steve had previously been pressing. Steve just nods as Robin hands him the water bottle, watching, waiting for everyone’s adrenaline to slow.

“Jesus, dude. I think you almost cracked a rib. Way to put those muscles to use,” Eddie jokes, in between sips. Steve cracks a smile, but his eyes are still filled with worry. “Thank you for trying to save my ass, but in the future, I’m just fainting. No CPR required. Just make sure I don’t hit my head on the way down,” Eddie explains.

“Sorry,” now it’s Steve’s turn to ramble. “I just went into panic mode and I didn’t even check for a pulse or-“

“Don’t sweat it.” Eddie cuts him off. “I appreciate you wanting to save my life. Again.” He adds that last part a little quieter, knocking shoulders with Harrington. As Steve helps him to his feet, he adds even quieter “You sure you didn’t just wanna plant one on me again, Big Boy?” And Robin is too busy fussing over Eddie and asking questions about his fainting and yelling at him for not warning anybody that they’re both too busy to notice the blush that creeps up Steve’s neck and the way he flexes his hands like touching Eddie hurt. 

A/N: Not so fun fact! John Bonham, drummer for Led Zeppelin died in 1980 after a heavy drinking binge. This would have been absolutely devastating to a young Eddie Munson, as it was for everyone else with ears and a soul at the time.

Also, Steve does the Pride and Prejudice hand flex every time he touches Eddie. Convince me otherwise. I dare you.

[lillie98]

Heartstopper 2 Ramble (SPOILERS)

I just finished Season 2 of Heartstopper and wow. I had high expectations after Season 1, but I was not prepared for this emotional rollercoaster. The entire cast and crew poured their heart and souls into this project, and I am eternally grateful. I fear I won’t survive Season 3.

First of all, Imogen absolutely killed me. I wasn’t sure about her Season 1, but she won me over. Her reaction to Nick Coming Out was precious and awkward and completely sincere. Her monologue with Ben had me cheering at my little tv, and I actually rooted for her. I’m glad Alice gave Imogen another shot. She deserved it.

I was really worried about Ben’s storyline and how he would play into everything, but I’m SO glad they didn’t make Charlie accept his fake-ass apology. It dripped with manipulation tactics and danger. Good on Charlie for recognizing them and standing up for himself. Him essentially saying that Ben Sexually Abused him was difficult to watch but also so empowering. I’m still not sure if Ben is gay or not, but it really doesn’t matter to me. As Charlie said, Ben permanently broke his brain and he will live with the consequences for the rest of his life. You don’t get your happy rainbow, Ben, because you almost took Charlie’s away. Also, the Paris dinner scene was incredible. Joe Locke did not utter ONE WORD and yet you knew exactly what was going through Charlie’s head.

Speaking of Joe’s incredible acting, the fainting scene was immaculate. I loved the pre-fainting on the stairs and how Charlie ignored it, not wanting to freak out Nick, but it caught up to him quickly. I literally saw the light leave his eyes and his body weight pull him down. The use of the white border, double vision, and audio distortion made it incredibly realistic along with the way Joe let himself fall completely limp in Kit’s arms. You truly believed he was unconscious. My only critique is I wish we had seen him wake up and Nick reassure him he’s safe. Talking about Charlie’s beautiful blue eyes.

Charlie’s ED was handled with gentleness and grace by everyone, but especially Joe and Alice. It was a slow build that made sense and felt realistic without hitting you over the head with it. It’s beautiful to see this misunderstood community represented in mainstream media, especially when it comes to boys’ Mental Health. I loved Nick’s mom picking up on it, even if she didn’t fully understand. Good moms always know.

Tao and Elle were adorable and I loved watching Tao read the WikiHow article and then ask Elle out. Thank God they cut his hair, it was hurting. A lot. I’m glad Elle decided to go to Art School and pursue her dreams, it’s what she deserves. A place where she feels at home and accepted for who she is, where she’s surrounded by like-minded people who love and accept her.

I know Alice has tried to make Jane Spring more likable, but it’s not working for me. Sorry. If you don’t accept your child’s partner, you don’t accept your child. Period. She reminds me of Darcy’s mother. Jane Spring, I am in your walls.

The final scene broke me. It set up Season 3 perfectly while wrapping up the events of this season. Charlie looked so broken and lost admitting what he’d done to himself and Nick had no idea how to help him. So he did what he could, hold Charlie close and remind him that he is loved. Fully and completely. Watching Charlie walk home in Nick’s sweatshirt was like watching Nick carry him home—protecting him from the monsters in his mind. Also, the song that plays (the one that broke my brain) is from Wasia Project, Will Gao’s (who plays Tao) band. So, in a way, Tao was watching over him, too. The stark contrast between the Season 1 ending and this one is startling, but in the best way. Go back and listen to the lyrics of the final song, it will break your heart. “You’re the only one left, so please don’t go.” Nick is terrified that Charlie won’t make it and doesn’t know how he’ll handle losing his entire world. I can’t wait to see the GA’s response (those who didn’t read the comics). This is not the Heartstopper they thought they were getting. But for us who did read, it was nothing short of perfect. Thank you, Alice Oseman and team, you created a masterpiece.

[fdrsamericanflagduckfloaty]

Can I have a random history fact that you really like for some reason? I want to annoy my family with history facts. If you have a list that’d be amazing infodump on me-

oh my god ok sO

i'd say a favorite would be, because TR could be such a FUCKING IDIOT, he was at this little formal reception right? And he was speaking with Mark Hanna, and accompanying Hanna was a Frenchwoman named Henriette Adler. And TR was so enthusiastic and energetic in his speaking (in rapid French) that his arm started to get closer to her bodice (almost destroying it/knocking it off.). But INSTEAD, this DUMBASS proceeded to accidentally elbow a silk rose and some gauze off. He started apologizing profusely but did NOT STOP THE WAR RHETORIC in FRENCH and thankfully it was fixed by someone getting a safety pin.

But that was. So. Not okay 😭😭 it was recreated in a Rough Riders 2 part tv mini-series and it's so embarrassing each time I watch istg

NEXT okay this is gonna seem rlly not-detailed but when you have a PDF of a TR book you can get details mkay

so like Alice Roosevelt, badass bitch, smoked while she was a teen. Okay?? Well I was reading a book on her and TO MY SURPRISE she let her 13 YEAR OLD BROTHER (Kermit) smoke a cigar with her. IS THAT NOT- okay im- a little bit OUT THERE but i digress

Also the entire Bisexual JFK theory is. Very very believable but I WILL NOT GET INTO THAT but tbh he probably was BUT ANYWAY

Also wanted to mention this list on wiki exists

And the GHWB incident is that this mf, AS THE PRESIDENT, vomited and then fainted on THE PRIME MINISTER OF JAPAN AT THE TIME. america has the stupidest stories ever i swear to god

This next one, which is also stupidly funny as fuck to me but also hella messed up, is that, okay, so TR had a riding accident when he was younger when Alice was still a tiny toddler. And he returned home with fucked clothing, a broken arm, and a bloody face. Like he looked like he was a murderer mk. And he, yknow, sees his daughter, goes running to her. She fucking SCREAMS. this man is NOT her father who is this RED MAN GET HIM AWAY WHAT THE HELL.

But he catches her and he's all bloody and sweaty and she is SCREAMING so he. Guess what. Does not put her down. Does not try to CALM HER DOWN.

He SHAKES HER. and im sorry but the image 😭 bloody ass TR shaking his daughter like a rattle im sorry

but when she DOES NOT CALM DOWN AS ONE WOULD NOT AND SCREAMS LOUDER, he SHAKES HER HARDER. i cannot make this shit up

im

i

oh my god anyways

also you likely know this but when it was thought that tomatoes were poisonous, Thomas Jefferson really ate one in front of people and they thought he was dying but when he was fine they were like "..... what the fuck"

Aaron Burr also lit himself on fire TWICE

Burr also bought a coconut for like 70 dollars or smth

(im just listing shit i know i cant think of any faves rn my brain blanked as soon as i read ur ask)

!! A favorite WOULD be that TR killed a man with his bare hands and was like rlly pumped about it but you already know that

And when some of his men were like 'we are NOT going up hill no ohmg' he was like 'DO IT OR I KILL YOU MYSELF' and they, yknow, ran up the hill

because. that is. threatening

I also would like to mention the insanity that was Lincoln liking cats and Lincoln growing a beard because a child more or less said he was ugly without one and Lincoln also maybe being bisexual

JFK's nickname by his wife, Jackie, was Bunny, bc apparently he fucked like a rabbit hjkglkmhklhkmkljk

Buchanan (James Buchanan, yknow, a president) might've been gay

Thomas Jefferson also called John Adams a hermaphrodite and i find that funny but also like. why. wh. where did you get that

Also this isnt a history fact but if i wanted to i could probably gaslight someone into thinking Andrew Jackson was on bathsalts bc a podcast i was watching mocked him by saying he was on bathsalts and tbh. accurate

Jefferson also had a ram on the White House grounds and did not get rid of it until AFTER it either harmed or killed a little boy

Harry S Truman and Ulysses S Grant both have an S as their middle name, but both of those S's mean nothing. Neither. Crazy that both S mean absolutely nothing

Grant's first name was also Hiram!!

Truman and his wife also needed to replace a bed during the white house cause they may or may not have *slams barbies together* so hard that they broke the bed

I'd also like to say the William Howard Taft bathtub myth is false klhmkhmj but ALSO i find it rlly sweet how, during TR's funeral, he was sobbing because, even tho TR was bitter during him for their last few years, Taft still considered TR a friend, and when Archie (TR's second youngest son--youngest at his funeral, as Quentin died in 1918) noticed him sobbing he was like 'come over here, you're a family friend.'

i forget the exact line but it was something close to that effect. So even though TR held a grudge, his kids didn't.

Apparently TR and Edith also fought like their entire marriage over how to pronounce Tomato and I'd like to know how he pronounced it cause wtf do you mean

ALSO for once it is not American BUT: Winston Churchill and his wife, Clementine, had nicknames for each other. Animal nicknames. His was Pig. I forget hers but. Really. P i g .

She also once threw a plate of something (asparagus or smth i dont remember) at his face and it instead hit the wall so like bad bitch moment

And finally:

all of our presidents were DUMBASSES <3

(also the Hoover Dam is named after Herbert Hoover, not J. Edgar Hoover, i think that's a common misconception.)

OH the Roosevelts also had a pet racoon for a period of time. so whenever i see something reference the Coolidge's pet racoon, Rebecca, I want to be like 'yknow the roosevelts had one pre-white-house days'

i hope thats enough idk

[eolewyn1010]

Dragging Frankenstein - Chapter 16

The big, dramatic break-up of the Creature and his little social delusion. Yay! And his plummeting into raging creep territory. Not so yay.

“I gave vent to my anguish in fearful howlings” – aiight, sometimes, you just gotta let it all out.

Wondering how the De Lacey idiots didn’t find him around the house immediately after the clusterfuck. Isn’t he, like, right there in their barn until he goes out for the night?

The whinefest is eerily similar to Victor’s, down to the moody landscape descriptions and almost fainting from a little bit of physical exertion.

“everlasting war against the species” – from negative experiences with maybe a dozen people, the last four of which were self-inflicted harm. IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: 15

That’s for him considering his personal suffering cause enough to pull some genocide.

Do I ever so enjoy it when someone uses the word “females” instead of “women”. Fuck you, dude.

Pfft, Felix is a piece of shit. “Weh-weh-weh, this place is terrible, we’ll never recover, my father is in grave danger – here, take our haunted house and live merrily, hope you don’t get eaten by a monster!”

Also, where did he take that “companion” from and can I already chalk that up to DAS GAY seeing as he seems to have lost Safie on the way there?

“My protectors had departed” ??? When did they ever protect him? I can’t with him.

A little bit of cathartic arson, why not. Except this asshole ruined the garden. What did the vegetables ever do to you? Also, ruining resources – he wants to eat, too, no? I’ll sic Bill on him, that’ll teach him.

“Among the lessons […] geography had not been omitted.” *splutters* …exCUSE ME?? What now? Since when? Can Mary Shelley even tell Austria from Switzerland? I’m beyond baffled.

How did he not fucking starve during the winter?

Funny, too, how severely the weather influences his personality. Winter and night make you a hateful, blood-lusting person; sunshine and Spring make you virtuous and kind. Even a seasonal depression doesn’t work like this. Whatever…

Uh. Dude. I agree that it was hasty to go all “hands offa her!” when you just saved the girl’s life, but maybe don’t pursue someone who’s running in fear. Not shocked you got a gun wound from that.

Is it possible that the Creature’s emotions are malfunctioning? Like, they are intense, and he swings intensely from one mood to another. From world-loving kindness to murdery rage, and back. The immense depressions and fits of anger. I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised if a brain reactivated against nature has some chemical imbalances to deal with.

“After some weeks my wound healed” – forget about that lead poisoning, I guess.

William is, again, praised as “a beautiful child”. Can everyone stop being a creep about kids here?

“I could seize him, and educate him as my companion and friend” o.O “Boy, you will never see your father again” O.o You. Fucking. Creep. You weird-ass, child-grooming creep. How on earth would he EVER expect a positive reaction on an attempted abduction??? Fuck that guy.

DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR: 11

And this one’s for thinking it’s rude William didn’t let him get away with it. I hate that kid, but I hate the Creature’s attitude about this way worse.

“I, too, can create desolation!” -.- Yay. Behold that moral superiority.

“a portrait of a most lovely woman”, “it softened and attracted me” – have I mentioned that the Creature’s obsession with physical beauty is getting on my nerves?

Also, fuck him once again for doing that to Justine of all people.

“I was for ever deprived of the delights that such beautiful creatures could bestow” …

…

. . .

Yeah, no, I got nothing. *casually strolls to the next corner to throw up*

“not indeed so beautiful as her whose portrait I held” – I guess Justine being of inferior beauty makes it ok to frame her for murder. I haaaaate this guy.

He’s also being an absolute creep about sleeping Justine. Where’s my rapist vibe counter when I need one? Icky, gross, disgusting. Hatehatehate.

And there we have it, he wants a fuckable sidepiece to be miserable with him. Awesome. At this point, I have reached the same level of disgust for the Creature as for Victor.

[blueiight]

poor yang, in every universe his half assed thoughts accidentally come true⚰️

He had helped them win. He had provided information that changed the course of the battle, for the better. What an odd thought. Was that a betrayal? A betrayal of what?

😢😢😢😢U a servant of the pharaoh alr big bro…

“Read your script and don’t ad-lib,” Bronner said. He shook his head. “You have a unique ability to turn a moment where you come out looking competent into one where you look like a disaster. You should have just smiled and taken whatever promotion he was going to give you.”

was bronner ever into the theater and/or acting , all these times he mentions scripts… im curious. or is he just trolling.

WOLF</3 MY POOR THING…. I like the way his dilemma has been like underpinning sotp…

“How do you put up with me, Leigh?” Mittermeyer asked, almost too quiet to hear.

Yang knew the answer to that question, and it involved carefully stuffing all of his own selfish thoughts down into the deepest recesses of his heart, but he wasn’t going to say that, so he said, “Because you’re my friend,” which was also true.

😢😢😢😢😢😢

Oberstein turned to look at him for the first time, his artificial eyes becoming slightly translucent when the afternoon sun shone through them at the right angle, revealing faint traces of the circuitry beneath. “You should see yourself as others see you.”

I really love every single convo yang has w oberstein so far theyre very thematically poignant wiaw oberstein rn feels like the guy u talk to ina video game just before u unlock ur next level oss idk.. (& the parallel w/ the specter of reuenthal.. “Don’t be. History will not mourn if the line ends with me.”) the idea of ‘ not being meant to be born ‘ informing both oberstein & reuenthal’s fundamental selves n how they go abt it in different ways. and how yang is both endeared to them !! when he rly shouldnt be even if they my bbgs. theyre awful orz

REUENTHAL’S BACK…(side note i gotta look but is he rly the only person who texts using fully proper grammar? it wouldnt hurt to use an emoji or a contraction, my dear oskar)

“Well, I’m glad you’ve suddenly decided to agree with me,” Yang said. “It’s easier to be obscure. It lets me be as lazy as I desire.”

“No,” Reuenthal said, finishing the last of his beer. “I say that because I feel I might get jealous, if too many people saw you for who you really are.”

I just said hes so twisted! aloud and cackled.

AYEEEE LETS GOOOOOOOOOO THEY GETTIN FRISKYYYYYY AT LAST LAWD I BEEN WAITING FOR THIS SINCE SiT CH2!!!

Love love love loooove. kircheis & hilde. theyre actually my children i birthed them.

“Why do you go to the IOA?” Hilde asked. “You’re not like the other students. You’re not even like Oskar.”

Ur not a generic bro (other kids) or malignant homosexual entity (reuenthal).. hes just cute & gay.

“Haven’t you ever walked into a room and seen or heard someone, and thought, ‘That person is just like me,’ for some reason-- maybe you couldn’t even explain it? It is in the other that one recognizes the self. Anyway, those same things that you and I might see-- other people hate them.”

i rlyrlyrlyRLY love this. dumb fujo drafting up a wiaw queerness & seditious elements of/in empire thesis.

“Congratulations.” She raised her glass. “To joining the elite ranks of the deviants.”⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️

Wiaw yang is no longer a virgin!! first major canon divergence/jkjk

magdalena is like just let him be jealous & crazy over u!!! its fun. Gosh like live a lil ‘Hank’.. everybody needs a toxic romance in their lives.. maggie downgrading from closeted lesbian relationship to one sided crush on a straight woman… How far the mighty Have fallen💔💔💔💔ur ex gf in a cult now u chasing str8 girls n praying ur mutual beard gets in a polycule

“It’s a useful skill, even if it is womanish.”

Yang rolled his eyes. “Seriously?”

Reuenthal shrugged. “If one learns to cook, one hardly needs a wife for anything.” honestly this is kinda giving internalized misogyny

OH MY GOD HES FUMINGGG. BITCH DONT BE MEAN TO YANG!!! OR MITT! OMG THE FAIL BACHELOR PARTY AND MITT WALKING IN TO. TO.. 💔💔💔💔

AND THEN. HE SHOWED UP IN SUCH DRAMATIC FASHION… as we expected… we talk about yang being trapped by genre/s but also reuenthal… truly a shoujo 70s psychosexual manga mc trapped in a milsf polidrama piece

“He doesn’t get along with about half the people in the world.” is the funniest way to phrase misogyny

miss bronner is back and hes trolling kircheis… the goodest boy in space…

“Oh, whenever I’m having a bad day and need to amuse myself, I read through all of Leigh’s messages.” many people do this to me too… This is a s/o to the Commodore Bronner’s of the Blueiight page💜u will never be Her. and i will never be yang.

I have to take a smoke break before i get into wittktbw….2020 blueiight speaking w/ 2023 blueiight

and we continue forward.. another turn of history’s page or wdf the narrator be saying

[scamandis-blog]

🍞