#my game says 26 hours

[satanssquidgy]

In my balls gay pee era

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 1- Jello at Your Front Door

Summary: 15 years ago, a football and a boy four doors down makes your move to Florida a little more bearable. Now, you're not quite sure how to feel when you find out he's shown up back at home unannounced

Word Count: 5.5K

Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader (no use of y/n, Frankie has a nickname for reader)

Warnings: Angst, yearning, mentions of death, sick parent, meeting Frankie for the first time, cute, awkward baby Frankie, a football throw Santi will never forgive you for

A/N: ... Hey.... How y'all doin'.... Remember when I said I was gonna start a different Frankie series months ago? I hope you humbly accept this as my official formal apology for not being able to get my shit together, as I present this offering to you instead 🙂 I started writing this 24 hours ago and I legitimately couldn't stop, so here we are??? I know this is a different style that what I normally write, but here's to trying new things (and hopefully finishing them). I hope you guys enjoy 🥺💛

All The Things We Never Said Masterlist

Next Chapter

You, Present

“Frankie’s home.” 

You weren’t really sure how to comprehend how the combination of those two words would be one of the worst sucker punches you’d taken to your gut in the better part of the last decade. 

As the sentence replayed over and over in your head, you could think of any other combination of two words that would have scared you less. 

“Hurricane’s coming.” 

“Bomb’s dropping.” 

“World‘s ending.” 

In a universe where things make sense, the response these would elicit from the average person would be reasonable, rational even. When you’ve been given a warning about the way two words have the potential to alter your reality, you can’t help but panic. 

But today, you’ve woken up in a universe where things don’t make sense. 

And what’s worse is, you didn’t even get a warning. 

The statement shouldn’t have shaken you as much as it did. When you’d seen his truck parked in the driveway four houses down, you knew it had to be him. Anyone else in the world would be caught dead driving the barley mobile piece of metal he’d been traveling in for the better part of 20 years. But Frankie Morales was not anyone else. He’d drive that damn car until the wheels fell out underneath him. 

It wouldn’t be the first time you’d gotten in a stubborn stare down with his 1989 maroon Chevrolet Silverado. You had a sneaking suspicion that today wouldn’t be your last. 

“Why is Fr- Why is he back?” 

You hadn’t intended for your tone to be so bitter, but the taste of Frankie’s name on the tip of your tongue left a taste in your mouth so sour, you wanted to recoil into yourself. 

“Why do you think?” It was clear your mother had no interest in playing into your game of cruel intentions, barely paying you any mind as she glanced out the window, unphased by the looming presence in the Morales’s driveway, “You should go say hello.” 

“No thanks, I’m not a fan of purposely ruining the rest of my day.” You don’t mean for your eyes to roll as far back into your head as they do, but you can’t help it. At this point it seems like an innate, programmed response. Simply the thought of Frankie Morales was enough to dampen your mood; an intentional confrontation was the last thing you needed. 

“You’re going to have to see him at some point, you know. Can’t hide from him the whole time he’s here.” 

Your mom hadn’t even given you the chance to rebuttal, disappearing from your bedroom to leave you to stew in your own resentment, because she knew as well as you that it was pointless to fight back. 

At some point, you’d have to face Frankie. Today, you’d stick to hiding. 

You, Summer of 1999, Age 11

26 total hours trapped in a U-Haul with your family and every item you’d ever owned was not the way you had planned to spend your last week of summer before starting middle school. You’d hoped that the nearly 3 day journey from Michigan to Florida would be long enough to help you cope with your distress. Unfortunately, you weren’t shocked that cramped quarters and unclear driving directions in the midst of uprooting your life wasn't doing much to lighten your mood. 

Your parents had promised you the move would be worth it. That starting a new life halfway across the country would be good for your family. You weren’t quite sure what positives Florida posed to you, but even at the ripe age of 11, it didn’t take a genius to realize that “starting over somewhere new” was code for “trying to keep your dad alive.” 

The doctors back home were thrilled to tell you about the new, potentially life saving treatment for his rapidly progressing colon cancer. You were thrilled too, until that new, life saving treatment meant moving 1,300 miles from home. 

Not once did you protest- keeping your dad a living, breathing part of your life was better than having to say goodbye to your best friends, but it still didn’t mean every mile you drove further and further south down I-75 was another grain of salt in your freshly open wound. 

Your parents had tried to incentivise you with all the joys that Florida would have to bring- warm, sunny weather, beaches, being a 3 hour drive away from Disney world, a bigger house, the list went on and on. And while you knew one day you’d find joy in the rewards you’d reap from your sacrifice, you had a feeling that day wouldn’t be coming any time soon. 

It took too many movers to count to finally get your new house to resemble what was supposed to be a home. There was something so unsettling about seeing your furniture reassembled into unfamiliar corners of a place you’d never been. Even the things that were supposed to feel familiar and comforting now felt distant and foreign, scrambled in the walls of your new residence like a child who had shaken up a box of their favorite toys and dumped them out on the ground, leaving behind a mess for someone else to clean up. 

The only solace you could seem to find in the wave of chaos that had washed over your life was the view outside your bedroom window. A quiet escape, perfectly positioned to watch the warm rays of sunset fade behind the rooftops, the night slowly shifting into shades of black and blue as your eyelids became heavy.

Each night as you drifted to sleep, you dreamt about the ways you could be saved from the lonely island you were trapped on. A sole survivor begging to be found. You tossed and turned in the sea of your twisted bedsheets, crying out that there would be someone, anyone who would risk their life to rescue yours. 

On the first two nights, the only response to your pleas was a deafening silence, an insult to injury that you were destined to spend the rest of your life on a godforsaken landmass no one would ever find. On the third night, your cries carried on the winds of the warm summer air, sneaking through the cracks of an open window four doors down. 

“You should go out there and play with those boys down the road! They look like they’re probably about your age!” 

You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t noticed the two gangly figures racing up and down the street for the better part of the last hour, hoping they wouldn’t catch your passing glances through your living room window as you pretended to watch whatever episode of “Rocket Power” aired next on Nickelodeon. Perhaps the pair boys hadn’t noticed you watching them, but your dad had surely noticed the way you could have cared less about whatever was on the TV in front of you. 

“They’re playing football, I don’t really think they’d probably want me to play.” You huff under  your breath. 

“You’re good at football. Probably better than they are.” Your dad laughs like it’s meant to be funny, but you know he’s serious. He’ll never admit to you out loud he wished his only child would have been a boy, but you’ve never minded playing the role of the son he never had. 

And he’s not wrong. You definitely are a better throw than either of them. 

“They’re gonna think it’s weird that a girl’s asking to go play football with them.” The sigh that follows this is even more annoyed than the last, now too self aware at 11 years old to revert back to the days of approaching kids you’ve never met on the playground and asking to join in without needing to worry about the social repercussions of your actions. 

“Well, you can either pout and pretend to watch TV, or you could go try to make some friends. That’s up to you, Bud.” He smirks at the scrunch in your brow and flair in your nostrils, the same face he knows he makes when he’s been hit by the cold, hard truth he doesn’t like. 

You know he’s right. 

“Fine,” You grumble, reluctantly pushing yourself off the edge of the couch, “But if they’re dumb, I’m coming back home.” 

“Atta girl. Go easy on ‘em, Killer.” 

As you step outside, it feels like you’ve become some sort of jungle explorer, trying to approach a herd of wild animals in their element without startling them to the point of attack. You’d even brought a peace offering to ease the introductions, hoping that your own football would be an appreciated contribution to their game. 

As you make your way down the street, you’re not sure if you’re particularly good at sneaking up on the boys, they haven’t noticed your presence, or worse, they’re actively trying to ignore you in hopes that you’ll go away. 

“H-Hi.” You stammer, half attempting to wave at the back of their heads, nowhere near close to catching their attention. 

“Hello?” This time it’s a little louder, slowly taking a few steps closer, “Hi?” 

God, maybe it’s a fourth option you hadn’t considered and they’re both deaf. 

“Hey!” 

This one finally catches their attention, causing both boys to turn around cautiously, not sure whether they’re more shocked that someone’s interrupted whatever play they’re about to run, or that the person who’s interrupted them is you. 

All of three of you stand in silence for a moment, mind racing in curiosity as you take in the image of clumsy limbs and messy mats of hair stuck to sweaty foreheads. The one boy is shorter, thick, jet black curls sprouting from the top of his head and arms crossed over his chest with a scowl on his face that’s not quite mean, but most definitely not welcoming. 

The other, taller and lankier, a mop of dark brown hairs twisting at the nape of his neck, eyes soft as he glances back and forth between you and his friend. His demeanor is much different, almost nervous compared to the boy standing next to him, fits balled in the pockets of his shorts while the adam’s apple he still needs to grow into bobs in his throat. 

For as much as no one wants to draw in the silent standoff you’ve entered, you started this mess, so you might as well be the first one to fold. 

“H-hi. Sorry, I um, I didn’t wanna interrupt-” 

“I mean, you did.” The shorter boy mumbles, wincing as the nervous one slaps him in the chest with the back of his hand. “Jesus, what was that for, asswad?!” 

“Let her talk!” He grunts, sneering at his friend before turning back to you, his face much kinder now than the expression he just gave to his friend. “Sorry. You can um, you can keep talking if you want. Sorry about him.” 

You try not to laugh at the exchange, but it’s hard not to smirk at the way the two have managed to put themselves on display in the thirty seconds you’ve spent talking to them. 

“It’s okay. I um- I just moved in down the street. That green house over there.” All of your eyes shift as you point behind you, signaling where your journey had begun a few moments ago, “I was uh- I was wondering if you guys wanted another person to play with? I- I brought my own football.” 

“Normally you only need one football to play football, duh. Do you even know how football works?” 

In an instant, your heart sinks to your gut, eyes dropping to the ground to watch your feet start to drag across the pavement, back to where you came. But before you can lift the sole of your sneaker from the cement, a voice stops you. 

“She obviously does or she wouldn’t ask, numbnuts! C’mon, Santi, don’t be a dick.” 

Although it’s not directed at you, it’s enough to bring your attention back to the kinder boy, no name yet, but quite positive it’s not also Santi (or asswad). The two of you lock eyes for a moment, a strange sort of calm running through you as his slight half smile reveals his brace covered teeth, looking at you in a way that makes you feel just a little less small. 

“Yeah, you can play with us. I’m Frankie, by the way.” 

Frankie. 

There’s something about his name that fits him so perfectly. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but you know from the way it rolls off your tongue that it just feels right. 

“Hi, Frankie. I’m Mackenzie.” 

Frankie’s hands are now out of his pockets, a line of defense dismantled after hearing your name. 

“Hello? Have we forgotten about me? There are three of us here, remember?” 

“This is Santi. Well, Santiago, but we all call him Santi.” The way Frankie rolls his eyes at his friend tells you everything you need to know about their friendship, giggling at the way he dramatically pouts as he introduces him. 

“Mackenzie? Isn’t that, like, a last name?” Santi asks, still not yet warmed up to the idea of you, but intrigued enough to ease how tightly his arms are crossed. 

“And? Isn’t Santiago the capital of Chile?” You sass, your mater-of-factness and quick wit making Frankie unintentionally snort. 

“Alright, touché, Christopher Columbus.” Santi mocks, acting tough to try and hide the pink blooming in his cheeks. 

“I like Mackenzie. I think it’s cool.” 

There’s something about the way he says it that you know he means it, wondering why the way hearing your name fall from his lips churns your stomach in a sensation you’d never felt before this moment. 

“Yeah, well, just so you know, Frankie is short for Francisco.” Santi interrupts, trying to find a way to get a jab back at either you or Frankie, at this point he doesn't really care which. 

“Well, last time I checked, there wasn’t a Francisco, Chile.” 

That one sends Frankie into full blown hysterics, boyish snickers taunting his friend, whose attempt to save his namesake has left him the butt of the joke. 

“Will the two of you clowns just shut up and throw the ball? If you’re gonna let her play, Frank, can we at least make sure she can throw?” Santi whines, using every ounce of prepubescent strength he has left to play into his unbothered facade. 

“You can use your ball if you want.” Frankie suggests, shrugging at his indifference to the ball held in your hand compared to the one held in yours. 

“No! If she’s playin’, she’s usin’ our ball!” Santi’s voice trails further away with each step back he takes, settling himself in the middle of the street a few feet down from where you and Frankie stood, not willing to take any more risks when it comes to you, even if it’s something as stupid as a football. 

“Fine by me.” You shrug, happily obliging to his request, Frankie giving you a silent nod of reassurance as he passes his football off to you. 

It’s only now you notice he’s nervous again, one hand back in his pocket as he wriggles his toes in the ends of his worn sneakers while you size up your toss, knowing he’s worried that Santi will never let him live it down if the ball can’t make it more than three feet in front of you. 

Neither of you would know it then, but the silent exchange you make with Frankie as you line up your throw would be the first of many unspoken promises you’d keep to him. What seemed like a simple task,  to prove worthy of his friendship by throwing a football, would turn out to be the most important promise you'll ever make to Fransisco Morales. 

You weren’t ever going to let him down. 

“You can go further back.” You shout, almost offended by the distance Santi had chosen to stand away from you. 

“If you can make it this far, I’ll be impressed.” 

“You promise you’ll go get it after I throw it past you?” 

“I promise, Joe Montana, throw the damn ball.” 

You shrug at Frankie, like he’s supposed to know what comes next. He’s too scared to question either of you, all he can do is let his eyes dart back and forth between you and Santi, knowing there’s no world where both of you can prove your point. What scares him more is that he trusts you more than his friend. 

You line your fingers up on the laces, gripping the leather like your life depends on it. In a way, it does. With a step forward, your arm hurls the ball, two of the three of you standing dumbfounded in the street as you watch it soar further and further past its intended target, spirling through the sky until it bounces off the cement with an acrobatic roll, three times the distances of where Santi had placed himself. 

You don’t say anything. You don’t need to. You just smile and shrug- it's the best “I told you so” you could give them. 

“Fine. She can stay.” 

To this day, it’s the closest you’ll ever get to a compliment from Santi. 

“Nice work, Kenz.” 

Your stomach flips. You try to blame it on the adrenaline of it all, that there was no way a compliment so simple had you wiping your sweaty palms over the denim of your shorts, trying your best to erase any evidence that he was the reason your heart was racing out of your chest. 

Now it’s 15 years later, and as much as you hate him, you still can’t get that goofy, brace faced smile out of your mind. 

Frankie, Present 

There’s a reason he shows up at 1 A.M. Everyone’s asleep. If the world is asleep around him, he’s safe from having to deal with anyone, at least until morning. There’s a part of him that wishes he would have parked his truck down the street, tricking you into thinking that he wasn’t even there. 

It’s hard to justify when you’re the reason he’s back home in the first place. 

When he got the call from his mom, he knew he had to come. He didn't want to, but he knew he’d hate himself forever if he didn’t. 

“Hey, Mamá.” 

“Francisco, how quickly can you make it home?”  

“Mom, I told you, I’m not-” 

“It’s Doug. He’s in hospice.” 

“Fuck. How um- how much longer do they think he has?” 

“When I talked to Michelle, she said they were hoping for a few more weeks. But I’m not sure. He doesn’t look good, mi amor. If you want to say your goodbyes, now’s the time.” 

“O-okay. I can probably be home by tomorrow. Gonna be late though. Is uh- is she, um-” 

“She’s here. For about a week or so already. She keeps looking over at your empty spot in the driveway just like she did all those years you were away. Waiting for you, Francisco.” 

It’s the lump in his throat and ache in his chest that gets him home an hour and fifteen minutes faster than what his GPS said it would. He’s not sure what delusional part of his mind thinks that maybe you’ll be waiting for him when he pulls into the driveway. Maybe it’s the same delusional part of his mind that pictured you sitting there, cross legged on the concrete, staring up at the sky to count stars like sheep, waiting for him to come home all those years ago. 

He’s also not sure why it hurts so bad when he shows up and you’re not there. 

Frankie feels like he’s 16 again, sneaking into his own house in the wee hours of the night, digging the spare key out from under the doormat, attentive to the practiced pattern of how to avoid squeaks in the hinges as he turns the lock behind him, careful not to wake a single sleeping soul. He tiptoes over the 4th stair to the second floor and barely taps the 7th before he finds shelter in his room, successful from his journey. 

Every time he comes home, he can’t help but laugh at the fact his mother refuses to change anything about his bedroom. Everything is in the same place it was the day he left for the Air Force, down to the pile of unfinished homework from his Senior year of high school stacked on his desk. Each time he sees it, he’s never sure if the source of his laughter is nostalgia or irony. Maybe it’s a little bit of both. 

When he looks at the picture frames scattered across his nightstand, a 17 year old Frankie stares back at him, tall and gangly, arms too big for his own body, an awful haircut he begged his mom to let him get. It was the year he discovered how much he couldn’t live without a hat, simply out of necessity for the 6 months it took for his hair to grow back out. You were the first one to tell him how cute he looked in the one hat he already owned. He bought three more in the weeks to come. 

He wonders what the 17 year old in those pictures staring back at him would think of him now. If there’s one thing he knows for certain, it’s that high school him would have beat the shit out of him for the way things turned out, scrawny limbs and all. 

It seems like the military has taught him how to sleep anywhere besides his own home, keeping company with the shadows dancing on his ceiling in the moonlight, tossing and turning in the tattered sheets of the twin sized bed his mom promised she’d upgrade when he got big enough. To this day, he and his mom both know he was never begging her for a new bed because he had outgrown it, he just always wanted to make room for one more person. 

He clocks 3 and a half hours of sleep as good enough, creeping out of his house the same way he had come in, making the 5.4 mile trip to Benson Park to watch the sun rise. Frankie’s always hated running, it’s just as much of a surprise to him as it is to everyone else that he keeps doing it. It makes his knees hurt like shit and his lungs feel like they’re being strangled by rubber bands, a cruel cycle of self punishment he can’t seem to shake his addiction for. 

He’s sat on the same side of the bench underneath the ancient Blooming Dogwood since the first time he came here. He tried one time to sit on the other side. He’s superstitious enough to believe his one time fuck up has had a lasting effect. The bench is so hidden at the back of the park, he likes to think that the two of you are the only ones to have ever found it. No one else has ever burst through the bubble of secrets shared between the two of you there, leaving the wood grain to be stained with memories and moments that have shaped the both of you, good and bad. 

It’s the first place you ever told him about your dad. It’s the first place he ever told you about his. His dad was already nothing but memories by then. It makes him sick to his stomach that soon, that’s all you’ll have left, too. 

Frankie, Fall of 1999, Age 11

“How much longer do we have, Frankie? I feel like my legs are gonna fall off!” 

“Quit being such a baby, you’re fine!” 

“Next time we have to ride our bikes this far, I’m pulling an E.T. and riding in the front basket of your bike.” 

“Perfect, you look just like him.” 

“Frankie!” 

“Kidding, kidding!” 

Frankie’s never had a friend like you before. Sure, he’s got Santi, but it’s not quite the same. 

Santi took some easing into- five years ago, when Frankie moved onto Everett Street, he became a friend by force, not choice. Santi staked his claim on him, seeing Frankie as a gift sent straight from heaven, finally having another boy his age to play with after too many years of being sentenced to dress up and tea parties from his 3 older sisters. 

Santi was everything Frankie wasn’t- loud, assertive, the kind of friend who grabs you by the hand and drags you along with them whether you liked it or not. There’s times now, after a half a decade of friendship, that Frankie still questions the way Santi’s brain is wired, but Frankie’s too good of a friend to ever make a fuss about it. 

You, on the other hand, needed no easing into. From the moment he met you, watching you toss that football so far past Santi that he was convinced it would disappear on the other end of the street, Frankie had been mesmerized by you. 

There’s something about you that makes him feel a weird thump in his chest every time you’re together. Everything about you gives him comfort in a way he can’t describe, a safety he’s felt with very few other people in his life until now. 

There’s just something about you. He still hasn’t been able to quite pinpoint what it is. 

Whatever it may be, it’s enough to invite you on a bike ride to the back of Benson Park instead of Santi. 

“Do you even know where we are? I don’t think there’s any more park left past this point, Frankie.” You huff, slowing the wheels of your bike behind him as you come to the edge of a steep rolling hill, nothing left in front of you but acres of empty land and tall grass. 

“Yeah, I do. Maybe we just passed the trail on the way in. We’ll just- We can just find it on the way back.” 

He knows you know he’s fibbing, but he wants your trust that he won’t lead you astray more than he wants to tell the truth. 

“Okay. There’s a bench underneath that tree. Can we just sit for a little bit before my legs turn to jello?” 

You’re already halfway off your bike before he can respond. Even if he had said no, there’s no way he’d leave without you. 

“Fine. What flavor jello?” 

“Whatever flavor is your least favorite so you don’t eat my legs, Francisco. That’s just weird.” 

The two of you laugh, tossing your bikes to the ground as you bottoms find the wood of the bench you’d pointed out, you on the right side, Frankie on the left. 

“My mom only ever gets the red kind. I don’t even really like it that much. Don’t worry, you’re safe, Kenz.” 

“I don’t really like it either. But we have every flavor at my house ‘cause that’s like, all my dad eats.” 

Frankie starts to laugh like you’re playing a joke on him, trying to pretend your dad’s diet exists exclusively of artificially flavored gelatin, but your sudden silence and the way your voice drops to the ground right with your eyes tells him he’d better stop snickering. 

“Your dad only eats jello?” 

“Well not only, but a lot of it, I guess.” 

His face scrunches with a mixture of confusion and concern at your sadness. He’s never heard you this quiet before. 

“Um, w-why?” 

The silence is almost deafening. He’s not sure why he should be so concerned with asking about jello, but he’s too curious to let it go. He selfishly wants to know what about it makes you so upset, because he just as selfishly hopes there’s something he can do to make you feel better. 

“My dad has cancer. He’s really sick. He can’t really eat a lot, but jello’s the one thing he can keep down most of the time without, like, throwing up or whatever.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, like you’re worried someone else will hear and spill the rest of your secrets right along with this one. You say it like he’s the only one in the world you want to hear it. 

“I’m- I’m sorry. That sucks.” 

Frankie blames it on his instincts, the way his hand finds yours, outstretched on the bench. He touches you like he’s handling a baby bird who’s fallen out of its nest, delicate and careful, calculated, hoping you won’t try to fly away in fear. Instead, your hand welcomes his, scooting closer to the weight of his palm resting on top of it. He feels you give in as you let him carry you back to safety of the tree you’ve descended from. 

“It’s okay. That’s why we moved here. The doctors in Michigan said that there were even better doctors here who could maybe help make his cancer go away.” 

“And then maybe he won’t have to eat as much jello.” He takes a gamble with the joke, but it pays off with your surprised snort, “Sorry, that was stupid. I shouldn’t be joking about it.” 

“I mean, it was, but it was funny. It’s okay, my dad jokes about it, too. He always says, one day, it’ll be funny, so might as well make that day today.” 

His heart warms as he watches a small smile return to your face. It heats the pink in his cheeks when he realizes he was the one who helped bring it back. 

“Your dad sounds nice.” 

“He is. Even though he doesn’t feel good a lot of the time, he still always tries to come to my soccer games and stuff. I know he can’t be like what he was before he was sick, but he tries to be. What about your dad?” 

Frankie prays you don’t notice the way his heart sinks like he noticed yours. He chews on the inside of his lip so hard, he thinks it may bleed. He wants to lie, but he knows that you’ll know. You always know. 

“Um, I don’t- I don’t really see my dad.” 

It’s you now who's grabbing his hand, offering him the same type of safety net he’d made for you. He’s barely known you two months. He’s known Santi for five years and all he knows is that his dad doesn’t live with him. Frankie didn’t want to tell him, he’s not sure he’d understand. There’s a strange sensation that swirls in his gut, because he wants to tell you. You’d laid the first brick in the foundation of trust between the two of you. The least he can do is help you keep building. 

“Oh. Why don’t you see him?” He sees you’re prying, but not in a way that hopes to expose him. He knows you’re prying because you want him to let you in, to get a peek at what's behind the curtain. It’s a locked door most people in his life will ever get access to, but he’ll let you have a spare set of keys. 

“I never really knew him. My mom said he left when I was a baby. She says she’s always been happy it’s just me and her. That it was easier to live with one less person than to live with someone who was mean.” 

“Your mom sounds like a wise lady.” 

He appreciates the fact humor was your first response, too, it makes the sting of ripping the stitches off a still-healing wound hurt just a little less. 

“Yeah, I guess so. Still kinda wish I had a dad, though, ya know?” 

“You can borrow my dad whenever you want. As long as you don’t mind super embarrassing, stupid jokes.” 

“Are they as bad as mine?” 

“No. They’re worse.” 

Neither of you would have minded staying just a little bit longer, but the bright reds and yellows of the setting October sky remind you both that the parents you’ve opened up about are expecting you back before night washes over the quaint suburbia of your town. The bike ride home is much quieter than the one there, but the simple silence seems to speak louder than anything he’d have to say. 

The next day, Frankie would raid the cabinets of his kitchen for every last packet of jello he could find and bring them all to your front door.

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[shoutydwarf]

and truly i am sorry i have very little good things to say about this game. like the rest of us here, i waited 10 years for it. i wanted it to be good. i scoffed at the bad reviews, i went into it with all my biases in favor of it. i had complete faith in bioware EVEN as someone that doesn't like inquisition and never once cared about the solas/elf plots. i cannot stress enough that i was a person completely set up to be pre-disappointed in the game, yet i was not.

i've logged 90 hours. i've completed it 1 1/2 times, i've seen all the endings and then i let all of that marinate for a week longer. the retrospection hit and it hit really fucking hard. i'm really tired of criticism of this game being shut down with "you're just a hater/tourist/grifter" especially when that's being directed at ME because yall.

i have been here, in the da community, since i was 13 years old. i am 26 now. my art would not exist without dragon age. my writing would not exist without dragon age. through this entire 10 year long drought i have contributed in NO small part to keeping this community alive. i've written 200 page google docs on dwarf culture. i completely rewrote characters like oghren and cullen. my MUSE, my magnum opus, my favorite of all favorites, is a dragon age oc (love u aeducan). my best friend and i get together at least once a month to sit in her garage for 3 days straight talking and planning out our dragon age ocs/stories/roleplays.

i have a right to be disappointed. i have a right to speak about that disappointment. i have a right to criticize the game. and odds are, the people criticizing it are just like me to some degree. if you're happy with the game GOOD FOR YOU. i wish i WAS YOU.

anyway tldr as mad as i sound in these critical posts, i'm actually just sad. and here lies the warning that this blog will continue being very critical of the game.

[lace4forest]

The Chains Ages in Linked Universe.

I saw people talking about the Chains age in Linked Universe, and I have my thoughts on them.

I've done a LOT of research on the Links and how old they were, I even tried to figure out how long Legend was in Koholint for. (We go with old Canon because new Canon doesn't make since,(Footnote 1) but basically that's the last time we see Legend in normal Zelda Canon)

Anyways-

This is from Jojo's QnA doc on the Linked Universe Discord- ^^^

And this is my thoughts on their ages. Side note, I'm not going off of looking up their ages through google, I'm going off info you can find in game and cross referencing it with other games and the Hyrule Historia and Encyclopedia. Time was 9 in his game and that's about 20 years later so he would be 29. (Unless if we counting Majora's Mask, then he could be 30-32)

Twilight was a "Late Teen" (Also it does state hold old he is) so 17 making him 21 to 22.

Warriors is also "Late Teen" (He was a trainee at the beginning of the war) making him 22 to 26

Sky is also stated to be around 17 making him 18 to 19

Wild is 117 and this would make him either almost 118 or just turned 118.

Legend just became "Of age" in ALBW and that's 16 in his era making 17.

Hyrule we know is 16 making him 18.

Four is 15 or 16 in Four Sword, but he isn't "Of age" so probably 15. making him 17.

And we know Wind is 13 almost 14. (He said it himself)

I just find it very funny the Toons are the youngests. Age explanation and footnotes below cut.

Time - He is 9 at the beginning of his game and becomes an "Adult" 7 years later at 16. This is one of the times it proves that 16 is "Of age" in the Zelda series. We aren't sure how much time has passed between Oot and MM, so we can guess he's 29 to 32 (Making Link in MM 10 to 12 as a good guess.)

Twilight - It's stated in a guide that he is 17. His game also was originally supposed to be a continuation of Oot and MM in the Wind Waker style, with Time all grown up and living on his own. But they changed it to what it is now. So it's just 17+4 or 5 making him 21 to 22.

Warriors - There is no official age and you do NOT need to be 17 to wield the master sword. All we know is that he's "Late Teens" making him between 16 to 19. Making his age in LU between 22 to 26.

Sky - He is stated to be around 17. Making him 18 or 19 (Even if we say he's 16, then he would be 17 to 19.)

Wild - he is 117 years old. We know this. it's been "Less than a year" so he could be almost 118 or already be 118, he probably doesn't remember his Birthday, so there is no saying exactly. (His Zelda should know though. Maybe.)

Legend - SO. I feel like people are gonna fight me on this, but I got the math and hours of research to back it. At the beginning of ALTTP, some guards say that Link shouldn't be out here or that he's too young to wield a sword (Or even start learning to) In BOTW Wild got the Master Sword at 12-13. And people said he was still very young and a prodigy, which means he was already learning the sword by that time. and we also know that in BOTW they think of "Of Age" as 17 instead of 16, meaning they probably make them learn stuff when they are a little older. There's also the connection to Oot, In Wind Waker its stated that Wind is the same age as Time when he Defeated Ganon (Making Wind Canonically 16) And Twilight is the age of what Time should have been when he decided to settle down, making him 17, which leaves us with Legend's age. Most likely taking Times age from the beginning of his game. LONG STORY SHORT- In ALTTP Link is between 9 to 10. NOW. The Oracle games, Link is still a CHILD, so before "Of Age" (Aka less than 16) A LOT of people call him a CHILD and wonder why he has a sword! making him most likely around 11 or 12. Same things with Link's Awakening. (FOOTNOTE 1). Then we have ALBW. Link has a job now and is learning to become a smith. so most likely after his return home, as well as he needs to learn this stuff before becoming a full adult, but then again he lives alone, so we could accurately say 15 to 16. SO LONGER STORY SHORT. We can say 16 and be GENEROUS. Making Legend 17 in LU (but probably closer to 16).

Hyrule - It's literally a plot in his game he is 16, making him 18 in LU.

Four - He is a Child in Minish Cap (So less than 16) and same with Four Swords. He has to be older than 12 because he was given a sword willingly. So between 13 to 15, but we can be nice and say 15 in Four Swords, making him 17 in LU.

Wind -

I do want to say, it's literally stated in his game he is the same age as Time when he KILLED Ganon as an ADULT. It's just the art style of the game.... He JUST turned 16, so people are still calling him a child. (Like how people call 18 year olds children in rl) But also he does look 12 in game... ART STYLE WHYYYYYY (also thats what Twi was supposed to look like lmaoooo)

---

FOOTNOTE 1 - The Encylapedia has wrong information that's easy to disprove and I want to throw it out a window. It also switched the order of the Oracle games and Link's Awakening, even though Oracle of Ages LITERALLY ENDS With Link taking the boat out to sea to head home, and LITERALLY Transitions to Link's Awakenings Opening. ITS THE SAME BOAT. I'm Gonna Cry- NINTENDO WHYYYYY.

[mimikittysblog]

♡10:26♡

Pairing: Bf! Yunho x Fem! Reader

Genre: pure fluff

Warnings: none

Tagging: @faeprincess777 @stay-tiny-things @jaerisdiction @bee-gremlin @gae-ping-boosay @xh01bri @nuggiesnuggetdog04 @buttercup0024 (Join my Taglist here!)

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

Ateez was about to go on tour again. This time they’re finally going to perform in many new cities they’ve never been before. It was exciting to be able to see new Atinys. One of those new cities was San Diego and you when looking at their schedule you noticed something.

The day after Ateez’s concert there, Comic Con will be held!

When you realized this, you knew your boyfriend has to go. So you asked his managers about the in depth schedule and for permission to let him go to the convention.

After going back and forth a little bit, going over how long you can be there, his and your safety etc. You got the green light.

“YUYUUUU!! YUYU! I have a surprise for youuuuu!” You yell out as you run to him when he got home from practice.

“Woah baby?? What’s up?” He asks surprised as he catches you in a hug.

“You’re going to San Diego this tour right??” You ask with a big smile.

“Yeah! Yeah I am. Why??”

“Yes you are! I realized that and realized that.. Comic Con is being held a day after your performance there!! And I just ask your managers for permission and they’re letting you go!” You explain.

“Woah wait really?! Comic Con?? Isn’t it that big convention for like.. marvel, disney, anime and video games??” He asks with wide excited eyes.

“Yuuuuuppp!!! And I cheeecked.. they’re gonna have a panel for the new Spider-Man movie!!!! And saw there’s gonna be a Valorant booth!”

“…I’m so fucking in love with you! Omg thank you thank youuu!!” He exclaims as he picks you up and spins you around.

When he puts you down, he leans down to give you a big kiss.

“You’re welcome baby!! And actually I have one more surprise! Come!”

“More?! Baby you’re spoiling me!”

“Only the best for the love of my life!”

You dragged him to the bedroom and made him sit down. You go to your desk to pick up a box and handed it to him.

“Open!”

He smiles at you before opening the box to reveal an authentic Spider-Man mask, and a Spider-Man hoodie.

“Sweetheart!! Oh my god this is awesome!!!”

“Well my Spider-Man needs a mask! And I think you should wear this when you go to Comic Con!”

“Wait really??”

“Comic con is crowded love.. And while I don’t think most people would recognize you, not that you’re not famous enough! Just.. different demographic yknow.”

“I get it darling.” He cuts you off momentarily to reassure you he understands what you meant.

“I’m saying that the managers told me that you still need to hide your identity out there. And I thought rather than you going in with a plain black mask and a hat. You can wear this!! Dress for the occasion! Like this!” You explained to him before pulling out your phone to show him some casual Spider-Man cosplays that you know would suit (pun not intended) him.

“You’re such a genius! God I couldn’t have asked for a better girlfriend. Thank you so much my love!” He thanks, nothing but pure love and gratitude in his eyes.

“Of course sweetheart!” You reply, giving him a loving kiss.

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

It was the day of Comic Con and Yunho couldn’t be more excited. He was absolutely buzzing with excitement in the car ride. You were actually kinda worried he’d be too tired to go since he absolutely killed it at the concert the night before. Yet when you finally arrived he practically leaped out of the car.

You had nothing to worry about.

“I’ll pick you up in a couple of hours.” His manager said.

“Got it!” You giggled as you hoped out to chase after him.

You almost lost him since there were a few Spider-Man cosplayers but you did eventually catch up to him.

“Omg Yuyu calm down!” You giggle.

“I’m just excited!” He exclaimed.

“I know baby.” You laughed.

“Thank you again for this surprise! It really means the world to me!”

You simply smiled up at him, lifting up his mask and giving him a soft kiss.

He smiled back before pulling down his mask and pulling you closer to him.

Comic con will be comic con! It was absolutely packed so Yunho always made sure you were right next to him. Holding your hand or waist tightly to make sure you two don’t get separated.

Walking around you both were amazed by all the cosplayers and booths. You two splurged a little and bought some merch of all of your favorite franchises. You even got to meet and take pictures with some Youtubers and streamers that were there. It was really so fun.

And actually to your surprise some people wanted to take pictures with you too.

Since of course today you decided to dress up as well. So while Yunho went as Spider-Man you went as your favorite character. It was a very simple costume but very recognizable like Yunho’s. It was also an experience for Yunho when people wanted his photo for the first time ever not as Yunho from Ateez but as Spider-Man.

“Wow love, I didn’t realize you’d be more famous than me here.” Yunho chuckles after another person asked for your photo.

“Well what can I say? I guess I’m just irreeesistableee!” You giggle. (5 points to anyone who gets this reference)

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

“Phew, this mask gets hot after a while.” Yunho chuckles taking off his mask while you two were sitting down, waiting for the Marvel Studios panel.

“I can imagine.” You say as you gave him a water bottle and wiped off some of his sweat for him.

“Thank you darling.” He smiles, giving you a kiss before taking a sip.

Soon enough the panel started and you both were thoroughly hyped and entertained throughout the entire thing. Yunho almost jumped out of his seat and fell when they announced what the new Spider-Man movie was gonna be, the release date and who was gonna be in it.

“Oh We’re SOOOOO watching this movie!” He exclaimed.

You could really only giggle at his antics.

Once the panel was over you knew you were gonna get picked up soon. So when in the far distance you finally saw the Valorant booth you grabbed your boyfriend by the hoodie and dragged him there.

He was so confused but let you do it anyway. And when he finally saw the booth he was so fuckin floored. He then picked you up and sprinted to the booth.

“OMG Yuyu put me doooown!”

“WE HAVE NO TIME!”

He eventually did put you down to look around and of course splurge on more merch. You stood behind him as he did this and you just had the biggest smile.

You always love how giddy your boyfriend gets when it comes to his hobbies and interests. It’s just a delight and an adorable sight. If Spider-Man right now had a tail it’d be wagging so bad.

Soon his manager gave you the call.

It was time to leave as he had another show in two days and he needed to rest. He honestly didn’t want to leave yet but he knew he had to. So hand in hand you two left the building and got into the managers car. Once inside you two felt the exhaustion actually.

Yunho eventually did fall asleep on the way to the hotel, you had to take off his mask for him. Once back in the hotel and in the comforts of your room, you both got ready for an early night in.

“Thank you again for this day baby. It meant so much.”

“Anything Spidey.” You giggle giving him a kiss before snuggling closer.

“I mean it though. I had the best day, and it’s all thanks to you.” He smiled.

“I know sweetie, I had a blast too.”

“I love you.”

“Love you more.”

The next day, Yunho actually posted about his day at Comic Con on his IG and to Ateez’s twitter to the surprise of many.

They were FREAKING out. ‘Cause not only did Yunho look hella fine as Spider-Man. It made a few Atiny realized that they actually met Yunho at there and had a photo with him. It was so funny and adorable seeing Atiny’s reaction to it.

Safe to say Spidey-Yunho was a hit.

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

© mimikittysblog 2025

[someone-will-remember-us]

Four years ago, Caroline Darian thought she had a normal life. She was in her early 40s, she had a home in the Paris area, a job as a communications manager, a husband who worked for a TV breakfast show and a six-year-old son. She got on well with her parents, who had retired to the picturesque village of Mazan in Provence in the south of France, to a house with pastel-blue shutters where they would all often spend long summers together in the garden under the mulberry tree and splashing in the pool – with barbecues and music, dinner and board games on the patio and country bike rides with her dad.

Darian remembers the exact moment that this all shattered. It was 8.25pm according to the clock on her kitchen cooker, on a Monday night in November 2020. She had been working from home all day on Zoom calls. She had just put down a bag of Japanese takeaway on the kitchen counter when her mother, Gisèle Pelicot, called and told her to sit down in a quiet spot; she had something difficult to say.

Darian thought of her father’s health – he was heavy, had breathing problems, and France had been in and out of Covid lockdowns. But instead she learned that police had arrested her father, Dominique Pelicot, for secretly filming up women’s skirts in a supermarket with a hidden camera in a bag. Officers investigating his phones, computer and hard drive had found thousands of images and videos stretching over almost 10 years showing that he had drugged his wife then filmed her, unconscious, being raped in her own bed by him and dozens of strangers. There had been at least 70 men, aged from 22 to 71, and police were still trying to identify them all.

Darian didn’t understand what was being said. She felt herself lose control: shaking, shouting, screaming insults about her father, hardly able to breathe. “It was like being hit by a wave,” she says, still struggling to comprehend it four years later. “It was a cataclysm. All my foundations collapsed.”

Darian is sitting in a book-lined room, up a creaky wooden staircase in a publisher’s office on the Left Bank in Paris. The first time we speak, it is days before the verdict in what has become the biggest rape trial in French history, after her mother decided to waive her anonymity and hold the four months of hearing in public, saying “shame must change sides”. Gisèle was embraced by the world as a feminist hero for her bravery and refusal to be shamed, as the trial made global headlines and the family was thrown into the spotlight. Darian is poised and calm, although nervous about the verdict. Channelling her anger into a public campaign to raise awareness of drug-facilitated sexual violence has been a “question of survival”, she says. But on the inside, she describes herself as a “field of ruins”. The previous few nights, she began dreaming about Dominique Pelicot again.

The trial was an “ordeal”, Darian says, ��really hard from a human perspective”. Dozens of accused men, now aged between 26 and 74, including a soldier, journalist and lorry drivers, had sat on benches in court, at close proximity to her and her mother. The men seemed so relaxed and “comfortable in their seats”, Darian observed. Video evidence was shown of many of them raping Gisèle in her bedroom when she was in a comatose state, lying limp and lifeless and snoring loudly, with family photos on the dresser and spotty pillowcases on the bed.

Dominique Pelicot hid prescription drugs in a tennis sock inside a hiking shoe in his garage. He crushed sleeping tablets and anti-anxiety medication into Gisèle’s mashed potato, coffee, or the raspberry ice-cream he served her in front of the TV. This would give him seven hours, he told the court, in which his wife was in a state akin to being under general anaesthetic. He would take off her pyjamas, dress her up in underwear he had bought. Then he and the other men would rape her while a camera filmed. Afterwards, Dominique Pelicot said he would wash her and dress her in her pyjamas before she would wake up, groggy but unaware, thinking the blackouts and memory lapses meant something was wrong with her brain. He contacted men online with messages such as “I’m looking for a pervert accomplice to abuse my wife who’s been put to sleep” or “You’re like me, you like rape mode.”

Days after we meet, Dominique Pelicot is sentenced to 20 years in prison and all 50 other men are found guilty of rape, attempted rape or sexual assault. At least 20 more could not be identified and are presumed to be still at large today. Most had denied the allegations, saying they had never “intended” to rape and thought it was a game by a couple of swingers in which “the wife” was pretending to be asleep. Some said that if the husband gave consent it was OK.

Darian has total admiration for her mother – “the true victim of this whole story” – for agreeing to hold the trial in public. Darian went public herself, in 2022, while the investigation was ongoing, publishing a book called I’ll Never Call Him Dad Again, which has now been translated into English for a new edition. It was a kind of diary of the first year after the revelations, illustrating how “trauma expands outwards like a shock wave” through a family.

She had grown up happily with her parents and three brothers. Her father, an electrician who had also worked as an estate agent, and mother, a logistics manager, met when they were 19 and 20 and married soon after. The family lived in a house provided by her mother’s company with five bedrooms and a walled garden in a coveted neighbourhood on the banks of the river Marne just outside Paris. Dominique Pelicot encouraged Darian’s dance lessons and would drive her to school to avoid her getting the bus. She remembered him singing Barry White songs in his Renault 25 as he drove the kids on holiday. All that was sunk for ever by the revelations. She now doesn’t even keep old photographs. “I can’t keep hold of those memories,” she says. “Sometimes they pop up, but that was a previous life; this is now.”

Campaigning “is a way for me to recover some kind of dignity”, she says, having founded a movement called Don’t Put Me Under (#MendorsPas) to raise awareness and support victims of drug-facilitated rape, pushing a new expression into the mainstream in France: “chemical submission”. Drugging most often happens in the home, enacted by family members or people you know, she says, and victims can be adults or children. Before her father’s arrest, “I didn’t have a clue about drugging or drug-assisted rape. I knew about GHB, the date rape drug, in nightclubs and bars, but I didn’t know it was so much more widespread and mostly happened using the contents of the family medicine cabinet.” She wants better training for health professionals and police, and better access to toxicological testing for victims.

She would also like more respect for rape victims in court. She watched in horror when even her mother, a grandmother, who had been drugged into a coma with no recollection of the assaults, was questioned by defence lawyers about whether she might have led the men on.

“I’m really proud of my mum,” Darian says with determination. “She has opened the door. She has led the way for other victims of sexual violence. She’s told them they’re not alone any more. That is strength. So to me she’s a hero … And she did it brilliantly. She walked into this court every single day with hundreds of journalists, being scrutinised by everyone, being humiliated by all these [defence] lawyers. Frankly, you have be strong to do that … She’s an independent and strong woman. And she did it with dignity.”

She describes her mother as having the calm of a “medieval queen” presiding over ruins – a resilience she says Gisèle has had since losing her own mother to cancer aged nine.

Darian, 45, attended the trial with her brothers, David, 50, a sales manager, and Florian, 38, an actor. (She uses the pseudonym Darian because it is a composite of her brothers’ names, in honour of their support, but has taken her husband’s surname). She was a striking figure in the courtroom, head held high, arms folded, sitting metres away from the accused men – many of whom were around her own age – and visibly staring them all in the eye. What did she feel? “I felt anger. They’re cowards.” She said the men stared right back at her: “I was looked at like a sex object during this trial by many of them.” While reporting the trial, I saw Darian’s appearances shift the mood in the courtroom. She was unflinching about the unbearable emotional toll – “How are you supposed to rebuild yourself from the ruins when you know your father is the worst sexual predator of the past 20 years?” she asked the head judge. She was not afraid to regularly shout across the courtroom, “You’re lying!” to the man she no longer called her father, or get up and walk out. At one point, when her father was speaking about her, she retorted: “I want to throw up.”

Within the first days of the trial, it became clear that Dominique Pelicot was reserving perhaps his most twisted evasions for his daughter, refusing to explain what he had done to her and appearing to change his story several times.

What had emerged in the four-year investigation of Dominique Pelicot’s crimes was that no woman in his family was safe. He had hidden cameras in bathrooms and bedrooms at his home and in relatives’ homes, secretly photographing his sons’ wives naked and sharing the pictures and photomontages online, boasting that he was “surrounded by sluts”. He hid cameras in the guest bedroom in Mazan to secretly film his daughter naked and make photomontages of both her and Gisèle naked, comparing their bodies under the title “The slut’s daughter”, which he shared online alongside obscene commentary.

On his computer equipment, police had found a deleted folder called “my daughter naked” and recovered two pictures of Darian, then aged roughly in her 30s, taken at different times, asleep on her side in the foetal position, wearing beige underwear with the duvet pulled back. When police first showed her those pictures, she initially didn’t recognise herself. The lights were on, and she was a light sleeper who would have woken up. She never slept in that position, or went to bed dressed like that, and the underwear she was wearing definitely wasn’t her own. She said in court she was certain she had been drugged, and also probably raped and abused by Dominique Pelicot. “It’s not a hypothesis; it’s reality, I know it,” she told the judges. She said the difference between her and Gisèle Pelicot was that her mother – most unusually in a rape case – had the confirmation of thousands of files of video evidence. Darian, without video evidence, felt, she said, more like the remaining 99% of women who allege drugging, unable to ever know the truth, locked into “doubt and silence”.

In her final appearance in court, Darian said: “I’m a forgotten victim in this case.” Turning to her father, she added: “I know you abused me. You don’t have the courage to tell me.” She, her brothers, her lawyer and even Dominique Pelicot’s own lawyer beseeched him in court to speak honestly about what he had done. Despite the photos, he said he had never touched his daughter and didn’t know who had taken them. One court psychiatrist suggested that for a victim like Darian to go through life not knowing was “mental torture”.

When she walked into that courtroom at the start of the trial, was she convinced he would tell her what happened? “There was a small part of me that was hoping,” she says. “I was really determined to make him recognise the facts. And I failed.”

She pauses and the word hangs in the air. Did she think it was her responsibility to make him speak? “You know I’m always reflecting on that, because I was tough and I asked him in a violent way. Maybe if I had been in a more emotional dimension, he would have told the truth. Anyway, it’s a fail for me.”

She says: “The only victim who knows – and not even the entire truth – is my mum. But even for my mum, he didn’t tell the whole truth or the full story. Even today, we don’t know how many men came to abuse my mother, and when it started. We still don’t know.”

Darian’s brothers, in court beside her, described the whole family’s “devastation”. Her husband, Pierre, a TV journalist, who she says has been a crucial support, also took the stand. He said the discovery on Pelicot’s computer of pictures of Darian apparently asleep in underwear that wasn’t her own “added horror to the horror”. He told the judges it wasn’t a question of “whether she was drugged, but why she was drugged”.

For Darian, the case has robbed her of one of the most basic necessities of life: sleep. How do you doze off at night when you fear you might have been abused in your sleep, when you are terrified you might lose control and become someone’s prey? When she first found out about the allegations, she didn’t sleep for five nights straight. She ended up needing medical help and was admitted to an emergency psychiatric ward where – terrifyingly for her – staff tried to sedate her. Yet the whole issue of sedation “was, you know the reason we were in this nightmare”. This hospital approach was “absolutely not what I needed”, she says. Her body and brain resisted drugs, “so they had to use this massive dose … it was really experimental”. This is now part of her campaign for better support of victims. She has tried to be honest in public about her vulnerability as a survivor, and not look like what she calls a “pseudo wonder woman”. She announced halfway through the trial that she would go into a clinic for a few days to try to recover after “weeks of repeated insomnia”.

Her view of herself has been shaken by the case. Her past has dissolved and weakened her foundations, she says. “I lost a part of me, I lost a part of my identity.” She carries what she calls the “crushing double burden” of being the child of the victim and the perpetrator. “You can’t imagine the sadness and the loneliness,” she says. “I’ve got a part of his DNA. And it’s difficult to be the daughter of the biggest sexual criminal for the past 10, 20, even 30 years, and at the same time be the daughter of an icon like my mum … I don’t know if it’s better to be the daughter of Gisèle or worse to be the daughter of Dominique Pelicot. I’ll have to live with that.”

Back in November 2020, the day after Gisèle broke the news to her children, Darian and her brothers took the train south to the house in Mazan, with its sunny back garden, synonymous with holidays. It was now quite terrifying and they feared all these men would come back at night. Dominique Pelicot had been taken into police custody and would await trial in prison. The children wanted to clear the house and get their mother out in a matter of days – they started selling furniture, emptying drawers, which they found full of debt notices incurred by their father. Darian smashed one of his amateur paintings (a nude). Gisèle left with two suitcases and her dog. Nearly 50 years of marriage had vanished, and she soon filed for divorce.

At that time, Darian was running over in her head odd things that had happened, signs she felt she had missed. She and her brothers, as well as Gisèle herself, had worried she had Alzheimer’s; they had booked neurologists and scans, but the tests always came back normal. Fearful, Gisèle had stopped driving; pinched herself when she took the train to Paris, worried she’d miss her stop; and was convinced she would be diagnosed with a brain tumour. “She was having a lot of blackouts,” Darian says. “She would sometimes seem incoherent on the phone.” Once, Darian’s son called his grandmother to tell her about his rugby tournament, and she started repeating herself nonsensically. Darian took the phone from him and asked: “Mum, what day is it?” Gisèle couldn’t reply.

Another time, Florian and his family had sat down to eat dinner in Mazan after Dominique Pelicot had served his wife a glass of rosé. Her elbow slid off the table and she nearly fell off her chair, seeming to collapse like a rag doll, glazing over, appearing hypnotised. Dominique Pelicot said her family were tiring her out.

Looking back, Darian says, these blackouts always happened in Mazan when Gisèle was with her husband, never when she was in the Paris area with her grandchildren. There were gynaecological problems, too – Gisèle was bleeding despite being post-menopause. A doctor diagnosed an inflammation of the uterus.

Does Darian still feel, as she wrote in her book, that “ignorance is culpable”; that she should somehow have noticed what was going on, despite the extent of her father’s manipulation? “No. Today, I think it wasn’t possible for me to have known. Because everything was premeditated, organised. We are all victims in this family – all collateral victims: my brothers and I, but also our children.”

Video evidence showed that Dominique Pelicot not only invited men to rape his wife in the couple’s marital bed in Mazan. He had also invited men to Darian’s home outside Paris. Just after Christmas in 2019, when Darian was away on a mini-break in Morocco and her parents were house-sitting, Dominique Pelicot invited a 34-year-old warehouse worker to rape his wife in Darian’s guest bedroom. In May of the same year, while alone with Gisèle at Darian’s holiday cottage on the Île de Ré off the Atlantic coast, Dominique Pelicot invited a man to rape her in Darian’s own bed. Video evidence showed the rapes went on for more than five hours that night. Asked in court why he had chosen to do this in his daughter’s holiday home, he said: “There was no symbolism. It could have happened anywhere.”

But Darian thinks the choice of location is meaningful. She also thinks it is significant, given her questions about her father’s potential abuse of her, that the retired nightclub worker who raped Gisèle at the holiday cottage had previously been sentenced to five years in prison for raping his own 17-year-old daughter. “That detail is so difficult to cope with,” she says. “Home is supposed to be a safe place, not that kind of crime scene.” That Dominique Pelicot had raped her mother in Darian’s homes “was like being abused a second time. I was betrayed by my father in different ways.”

With Dominique Pelicot deliberately leaving what she calls a “great fog” over the question of what he may have done to her, she is left with no foothold. She had a vaginal tear that would not heal and needed several surgeries (once, while she was recovering from surgery, her father called her, asking to borrow money). Of the injury she says: “I’ll never know if it’s linked or not. It’s part of an open question – unanswered.”

She believes her father used her as a guinea pig to test out his drug cocktails – his exchanges with men show him commenting on the different effects on a woman who did or didn’t smoke. She was an occasional smoker and her mother was not. It was clear from the police investigation that Dominique Pelicot only confessed to crimes when presented with irrefutable evidence, and often partly at the start. In 2022, while awaiting trial for the rapes of his wife, Dominique Pelicot was questioned about an attempted rape of a 19-year-old estate agent in 1999. She was the same age as Darian at the time, and he had attempted to anaesthetise her with ether. Dominique Pelicot denied it until confronted with DNA evidence on the woman’s shoe. But he offered up a comparison with his daughter, saying that when he undressed the woman and realised she was the same age as her he had felt “blocked”. Instead, the woman broke free and fought him off.

Darian is unsparing in her praise for her mother, with whom she appeared hand in hand in court. But she wrote in her book and says today that, as wife and daughter, they are “in a different place within the family” and have dealt with the bombshell of Dominique Pelicot’s abuse in different ways. She says not knowing if she was drugged or abused weighs heavily on the whole family. Darian feels that without clear evidence, her mother has sought to reassure her that it may not have happened.

In court, near the end of the trial, Gisèle did not want to answer questions from defence lawyers about what Dominique Pelicot may have done to her daughter, saying it was for him to answer that. One defence lawyer suggested there was a family rift. Gisèle replied: “This isn��t a trial of the family.”

Now, Darian speculates that maybe the prospect of a daughter’s abuse is just too much horror for her mother to contemplate all at once. “She is not able, from an emotional standpoint, I think, to face the truth. I think it’s too difficult for her. And it’s hard for me – it’s really hard for me.” But the family remains close and she thinks time will change things.

The trial never fully uncovered why Dominique Pelicot did what he did – if there even was a reason. He told the court: “You aren’t born a pervert, you become one,” citing his own abuse as a child. He said he had been raped aged nine by a nurse in hospital when he was being treated for a head injury. Aged 14, as an apprentice on a building site, he said he witnessed – and was forced to take part in – a group-rape of a woman whom he described as disabled. “It was too heavy to bear,” he told the court.

“To me, it was pure manipulation,” Darian says. “He was choosing his words to make us empathise with him. And he knows exactly how it works … where to press the button.” In the high-ceilinged courtroom, where Dominique Pelicot sat on one side in a glass-fronted dock, and Gisèle on the other, Darian felt there had been an invisible “arc between my mum and dad all through this trial”, in which he was trying to communicate with his ex-wife to let himself off the hook of responsibility. “In life, you decide who you want to be,” Darian says, brushing aside any excuses about childhood. This echoes her mother’s view, expressed in court, that, regardless of their past, a person “chooses” who they become.

Darian says she won’t let Dominique Pelicot’s perversity become “this family’s curse”, that she must stop what she calls the “deviance” infecting generation after generation. (The court heard an investigation is ongoing into whether Dominique Pelicot may have abused any of his grandchildren. He denies any abuse). Darian says her father’s family line was mired in abuse – part of a “dysfunctional family system”. Denis, Dominique Pelicot’s father, whom she remembers in jeans and a biker jacket, with a single earring, had been a violent tyrant. He was a caretaker at a rehabilitation centre for convicts. The court heard that Denis was suspected of grooming and abusing a young girl with learning difficulties who was fostered by the family; Darian calls her Lucille in her book. After his wife’s death, Denis made Lucille his partner. In court, questions were raised over whether Denis also ever brought in men to abuse Lucille. Darian now questions why her parents would later send her and her brother to stay with her grandfather and his partner over the summer, until she said she no longer wanted to go.

Her own son, whom she calls Tom in the book, at first didn’t believe his grandfather could have done harm to his grandmother. “We’ve done a lot of things to protect him,” she says. “When it happened he was six. Now he’s 10. He’s had two and a half years of support from a psychologist. And today he’s in good shape. We really wanted to preserve him. But he’s known the truth right from the start. We told him with simple words that his grandfather was in jail.”

Darian, who works as a senior communications manager at a large company in Paris, says the trial has inspired her to campaign even harder in support of victims of sexual violence. Returning to normal life is key. “My son and my husband are my two pillars in life,” she says. “I’m a mum, I’m married, I’ve got a social life, friends.”

A few days later, at the verdict in the packed Avignon courthouse, she watches with quiet anger as most of the men, some silently weeping, are led away to the cells. Dominique Pelicot will likely spend the rest of his life in prison, and all the other men are convicted. As Darian leaves the court with her mother, hundreds of supporters who have travelled from across France and Europe chant, “Thank you Gisèle” and then begin shouting, “Thank you Caroline!”

We speak again the next morning. She is still feeling shaken. The prison sentences, which ranged from three to 15 years, some of which were suspended, were lower than the state prosecutor had recommended. It is a disappointment. “It’s the wrong message,” she says. “It’s not the message we wanted to send to all the other victims in France.”

This means that for her “the fight is only just beginning”. She has decided to write another book, the behind-the-scenes story of the trial. “Because it’s not what you see from watching TV. And while this trial was happening, there were so many other trials going on where the victims were all alone.”

Gisèle Pelicot, her lawyers say, now hopes to resume “as normal a life as possible”. Darian herself will rest and spend time with her son, husband and brothers, before resuming campaigning.

In the final moments in the courtroom, Darian looked only briefly at Dominique Pelicot before he was led away. “It was the very last time I’ll see him,” she says. “It’s an end point. It’s the very last chapter in what was my life before.”

It will take a while to work through.

“There’s a kind of grief,” she says. “It’s a long process, mourning someone who is still alive.”

(archive)

[trendywaifus]

2024 HALLOWEEN SPECIAL MASTERLIST

❝ WHAT’S YOUR SCARY MOVIE? ❞

WARNINGS — DARK THEMES, MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION, ATTEMPT OF SELF INJURY, DEATH, BLOOD, CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR, INJURY, YANDERE THEMES, DUBCON, PURITY LOSS, CREAMPIE, ORAL FIXATION, VAGINAL PENETRATION, SIZE KINK, CUM–EATING, FINGERING, CUNNILINGUS, UNPROTECTED SEX

04 |SCREAMPIED ! — transfem! ghostface! feixiao x fem! reader. there seems to be a second serial killer who has their eyes on you. but it seems like they came for you for a different reason. will they be a failure like the last one was? (10/6) continuation of — i’m like the wind baby !

preview ↳ you angrily picked up your phone for the third time in two hours, draping the towel over your shoulder as you sat down on the sofa. “ this is the third fucking time you called my damn phone, “ you shouted, pausing some cheesy horror movie that you forgot was on while taking a quick shower, “ take a hike you fuckin’ bum! don’t ask me about what my damn favorite scary movie is because i don’t have one! the last one was somehow less annoying than you are! “

there’s a small pause from the other side along with consistent, wet noises of skin slapping against skin. “ . . .fuck, “ the husky voice lets out a strained groan and laughs breathily, “ keep talking, i’m almost finished. mm, you sound so fucking hot when you’re upset, doll face.”

“ what the fuck? are you getting off from my voice, you damn weirdo? fuck off. “

05 |NATURAL PREDATOR ! — serial killer! jane doe x fem! reader. she craves you and the normalcy you bring into her life. it wouldn’t hurt to preserve it by keeping you in her home. don’t worry, she won’t hurt you if you don’t hurt her. rats aren’t natural predators after all, right? (10/26)

preview ↳ you swat the chinese food aside in frustration, jumping up from your seat, and glared at your unamused kidnapper sitting on the other side of the table. “ is this some sick game to you? chasing, kidnapping me—taking me away from my life to satisfy yours? “ you hiccuped, tears swelling in your eyes. “ and why in the actual fuck do you think it’s okay to make me sit down with you and eat some takeout food after you’ve been gone all day? what, you expect me to “gossip” with you after all the shit you’ve done to me? “

hurt flash in her teal eyes before she sighs heavily. “ do we seriously have to keep coming back to that? i understand that you’re upset but you’ll get use to this, to me soon enough. i know that i haven’t been here lately and i’m sorry. i’ll do my best to come home to you as early as i can. here, “ she says apologetically, handing you a napkin across the table with the pointed end of her tail, “ please, sit down, wipe your tears, and eat your food, my dear. unless, you prefer for me to do all of them for you? “ there’s something dark lurking behind her voice as it lowers an octave. a shiver runs down your spine at the hooded look in her narrowed eyes.

06 |ADAM & EVE ! — yandere! robin x gn! reader. all she wanted was to save her brother. even if it meant taking a bite from the forbidden fruit, stripping her away from reason, her purity—what makes her robin; an internal separation from who she used to be. ( 10/31)

preview ↳ robin straddles your lap, her darkened emerald eyes pools into yours, lulling you deeper into a trance-like state. your body feels relaxed and heavy, bones softening like malleable metal. the halovian woman lean close to you with a sickeningly sweet smile on her pale features as she brings the bitten apple to your bruised lips. there’s voices—hushed whispers ringing in your head, commanding you to take a bite of the apple. you don’t fight them back, you can’t. lust, euphoria and her hypnotic tune clouds your judgement.

you bite into the apple and sink further into the abyss, along with the shell of a woman who used to be great.

07 (BONUS?)| WUTIWANT ! — jason! transfem! acheron x fem! reader. i don’t know what i want but i know it’s not this. these words mean nothing once they’ve left my lips. (??)

preview ↳ ???

[thirstywoso]

Love me like a sailor - Jessie Fleming x reader

A/N: a little bittersweet childhood sweetheart fic, now I've re-read it I kind of hate it and let's just say there will be a lot of angst coming - you've been warned

THIS IS A RE-POST AS TUMBLR IS HAVING A MELTDOWN

WC: 2k

Warnings: none atm

Synopsis: long distance is taking its toll on you relationship with Jessie

London, Ontario. You knew it well, why?

It was the city you'd grown up in, learned to love and where you now as a 26 year old adult resided. It was also the city you met your childhood sweetheart. Jessie or as most people knew her Jessie Fleming the captain of the Canadian women's soccer team.

You'd met Jessie when you were in kindergarten and since then the two of you had been inseparable. It wasn't until 9th grade though where you'd both realised your friendship was maybe something more, Jessie had been bold and made the first move.

It had been shortly after her debut for the senior team, at 15 years old it was a huge step for her. You'd gone to see her play and unbeknownst to you the feelings you had for the dark haired girl were also creeping their way into her, only the feelings were for you.

So there you were at the sidelines, back then the games weren't so busy but you held up a sign for her "Fleming is my hero" she came over and said hi, the freckled Canadian grinning from ear to ear.

Shortly after the game you found yourself sat cross legged on her bed watching some old movie you'd probably seen a hundred times, yet this time you felt different. Your gaze shifted to Jessie whose eyes were already trained on you, she gave you a soft smile and before you knew it her lips were on yours.

You reciprocated the kiss and in your teenage brain it felt like hours when in reality was more than likely ten seconds, that's where it all started though. The innocent touches, the shared looks until one day you decided to bite the bullet and ask Jessie to be your girlfriend and now here you are just over ten years later. Still loving that goofy lopsided smile and those big brown doe eyes.

The issue with London, Ontario though was that it wasn't Portland, Oregon which is where Jessie currently resided. That being said it was two and a half thousand miles closer than London, England which was where she had been for the past three and a half years.

Jessie playing across the border provided to be easier than when she was across an entire ocean. It mean't she could fly to you during off season, you could fly out to games especially the ones she played on the east coast. It was easier. There was no doubt about that.

Yet after graduating high school together and both going to college on the west coast of America yourself at Berkeley and Jessie at UCLA, then dealing with the time differences being on different continents, nothing felt as distant as it did now.

You always knew Jessie would go far and even though you both decided it was best for you to stay in your hometown to pursue your career it seemed to be eating at you more and more.

This is something you should probably bring up to Jessie, yet it never seemed like the right time. When you saw her you'd go to talk but something inside of you didn't want to ruin the precious time you did have together and then she would be gone again. However, over the phone also didn't seem like the best way to have this conversation. So you kept it to yourself.

That was until you visited Portland, Jessie had been there several months by now, however, you'd only managed to get out there a few times but it was better than nothing.

This time was different though, she was showing you some of her favourite places she had found since being in the city, one of which was a coffee shop on the river. As you walked in you took note of the way the barista who you'd soon come to learn was named Alex beamed at your girlfriend, her face slightly dropping as she clocked you and your fingers threaded through Jessie's. This didn't go unnoticed by you.

She greeted Jessie as you both came up to the counter and Jessie introduced you to her, telling you how Alex had helped her one day when she got caught in the rain and the paper bag with her groceries had split. They'd soon became friends and Jessie would frequent Alex's coffee shop, it seemed odd to you that Jessie hadn't mentioned her to you before.

As you turned to find a seat you noticed that the shelves in the shop contained some old cameras and some books, the layout of the shop and the items scattered is only what you could describe as a representation of Jessie's brain. You mentioned this to Jessie and she told you that's why she liked this place so much, her eyes then wondered over towards the counter where Alex was looking over at you both smiling. A pang of jealousy struck you in the chest.

Once you'd both finished your coffee Jessie suggested one of her new favourite walks that Alex had apparently showed her, you politely declined, feigning a migraine and asking to go back to her apartment.

Arriving back at the apartment you laid down on the couch on your front a pillow under your head as your arms stretched out underneath it, that's when you felt some soft material poking out from under the couch cushions. After a slight tug you find a flannel shirt, one you didn't recognise.

"Hey babe" you call out

"What's up?" Your girlfriend says walking over to where you lay.

"What's this?" You ask holding up the garment in question

"Oh" she scratches the back of her neck "That's Alex's, she must've left it here"

"What was Alex doing in your apartment? Much less leaving clothes?"

"She just came over one day after I'd finished training to bring coffee... she must've got hot and just left it here by accident" Jessie says almost questioning it herself.

"Right.." you say pushing yourself up so you're sat on the edge of the couch.

"What? You don't believe me?"

"It's just. Jessie, you seem real close with her. The way she was eye fucking you across the coffee shop, how her clothes are literally in your apartment. How you've never told me about her ever yet she seems to be a big part of your Portland life, it just doesn't make sense!" You say beginning to raise your voice.

"I didn't bring her up because I want to focus on you when we talk, she was certainly not eye fucking me and she's just been helpful since I met her"

"Yeah, yeah Jessie, you can't deny the way she looked at you" you yell at her

"You're out of your fucking mind!" She yells back

"I'm out of my fucking mind, clearly you are lying or just so stupidly naive if you don't think she likes you"

Your words are almost instantly confirmed when Jessie's phone lights up on the coffee table,

Alex💕: You still coming over after you drop your girlfriend at the airport tomorrow?

"And there we go" you say gesturing to her phone

"Wow, we are really doing that huh?" She says handing you her phone

"Go on look through our messages" she huffs at you rolling her eyes

"I'm not saying I don't trust you Jess, I'm saying I don't trust her" you place her phone back on the coffee table.

Running your hands through your hair you don't know where to look, settling on the ground you can't bring yourself to look at her.

"She's just a friend, even if she does have feelings I promise you I don't" she says tilting your chin to look up at her.

Begrudgingly you make eye contact with her, deep down you know she's right. Jessie could never cheat on you... could she? You shake your head dismissing that thought.

"You're right, I trust you Jess. It's just been hard you know? You've been so far away for so long and I'm not one hundred percent sure how I can keep doing it" you let out a sigh feeling relived you addressed your feelings.

"Right... so what does that mean for you? For us?" She narrows her eyes slightly somewhat taken aback by your statement. It wasn't that Jessie hadn't also felt the strain and had begun to have those questions herself, it was more that she hadn't even thought about you feeling the same.

"I'm not sure, I love you Jess, I always will but it's just not felt right for awhile" you say your chest tightening

"I see, I love you too but you're right it's been hard, what should we do?"

"Maybe, maybe we should take a break. See how we are in a few months from now?"

"And if we are meant to be, we will be?" She says sadness seeping into her voice

"So, this is it?" You ask tears brimming in your eyes

"This is it" she repeats back to you.

"For now" she follows up.

-

Before you knew it you were on the plane back to your hometown, Jessie still in Portland. Your conversation last night ended with the mutual decision to keep contact to a minimum whilst you both figure things out.

You'd gotten on the plane with a book and some music downloaded on your phone, the way you'd kill the next few hours instead of enduring crying babies and staring at the seat ahead. That all went out the window though when a girl in the seat next to you was struggling to put her luggage in the overhead bin.

You being the kindhearted person that you were you'd decided to give her a hand, helping her cram her baggage in as she slammed down the bin door. Only she ended up knocking your phone out of your hand which came crashing down in the aisle.

She was so apologetic but that didn't help the fact you now had a broken phone and a six hour flight with nothing but yourself and your thoughts.

This gave you time to think about your relationship and your own life. You'd been with Jessie for all of your adult life and half of your teenage years, the time you had made you realise how you didn't know who you were without her, this break would be harder than you first thought.

You loved Jessie, you really did. Just for now you knew you needed to see who you were and what your life was without her.

After several hours of your mind ticking away back and forth between if you made the right decision or not, how you felt and if you should've just stuck with it you finally exit the aircraft making your way to the luggage carousel. As you turn to take your luggage you see a pair of feet in front of you and hear what sounds like someone gasping for breath.

"Oh hi" you say slightly surprised at the disheveled girl in front of you, the same girl from the plane.

"Sorry, it's just, I... hold on" she pants out

You stay still your gaze steady on her whilst she regains composure.

"I, I'm sorry about your phone. I couldn't let you go without apologising again and.." she rummages in her pocket pulling out a crumpled napkin with the airline logo stamped on it.

"This is for you" she says handing it to you

"Your dirty napkin?" You question confused.

"No, open it" she laughs

You do, looking up meeting her eyes a confused look still plastered on your face, eyebrow slightly raised and head cocked.

"What, what's this?" You ask

"My number silly" she giggles to herself lightly before carrying on "when you get your phone fixed, call me or text me and we can grab coffee or something and I'll reimburse you for the damage"

"I don't expect you to do that"

"It's nothing really!" She insists

"Well I'll agree to the coffee but don't worry about anything else" you bargain with her

"Deal" she shakes your hand "It's a date"

Those three words replayed in your head the rest of the day.

[coddda]

Hiiiiiii. Episode 25/26 lawlight analysis rant thingy here. I don't know how to write an intro for this so let's just get to it LOL

I think one of the reasons that the rain/foot scenes stick out so much (the. Sheer insanity of a Foot Massage Scene in an anime revolving around two guys trying to kill each other aside 💀) is the fact that the anime specifically suffers a bit in terms of adapting a few of the "emotional" moments in death note.

And I don't mean "emotionally impactful" exactly. For example I think the adaptations of scenes like Raye and Naomi's deaths were very impactful and the atmospheres of their final scenes were great, but I mean more from a characterization standpoint (if that makes sense). Being more focused on mind and logic games, Death Note as a whole isn't as invested in individual characters' deeper feelings as it is in its action (which isn't necessarily a criticism per say, it's simply part of the nature of a mystery thriller series). But just because they're fewer and farther between doesn't mean there are none at all. In the manga we do get to see, for example, how much Light actually cared for his family and especially Sayu, and how he actually felt more conflicted and suffered lack of sleep/appetite when he first used the Death Note.

The anime specifically as an adaptation is pretty good at adapting the main mind fuckery and action of Death Note, but its lacking in properly adapting scenes like the ones I mentioned above is a criticism I see somewhat often, and it's pretty fair imo. Compared to all the other adaptations, it certainly seems to fall short on an emotional level: the musical has entire songs going in depth about the characters feelings and relationships, the 2015 jdrama is. Insane and has its emotional moments in spades (because it's a TV drama, which are more focused on portraying emotional conflict and the like), even the 2006 movies has its emotional beats and L Change the WorLd is. Well. Oh Man.

Anime Light to a lot of people is like. Light but he's "already evil" (which I have my own thoughts on but I digress). Light but after using the Death Note for like 2 minutes he's already like "fuck yeah time to kill criminals". Basically the anime doesn't take as much time to delve into his less cynical sides or really delve into his already vague and harder to decipher feelings in general, he is noticeably colder from the get-go here, etc.

But that's part of why I think episode 25 manages to stand out so much tonally (apart from it being, y'know, the episode L literally Dies). I love the episode so much and could probably rant for hours about how much I love the artistic choices made in it but what I'm trying to get at here is that it's one of the very few moments where the show tries to go deeper into specific character's emotions, and one of the very few moments where the show Attempts (emphasis on "attempts" because, well, you'll see in a bit) to get more in-depth into Light's feelings apart from his cynicism/apathy/justice. ness.

L in these two scenes in episode 25 is, well, pretty damn open about how he feels. It's usually interpreted as him knowing that he's going to die, and you can see it. He visibly looks/sounds lost, somber, etc. He never really had much to hide around Light to begin with (since he doesn't really care about hiding himself the same way Light does) but especially not now and it Shows, and I personally thought it was pretty cool to delve into his thoughts/show how he feels this way. The somberness can be felt throughout the entire scene, even people who don't already know the plot of Death Note from the manga could probably tell that he's about to die.

In the manga, once L starts suspecting Misa again and Rem realizes what Light is trying to do, it goes straight to Watari and L's deaths, but the anime instead gives a distinct and unexpected pause in the middle of this where L contemplates his own death. It's fucking great, and the shift from straight action to slower emotional weight makes these scenes stand out a lot, since, like I said, the show usually focuses more on the former. But it's kind of ironic, too.

Not only does the anime open up L's feelings more in these scenes, but it also tries to dig deeper into Light's feelings as well through L. And it's really funny honestly because while, yes, these are the more "emotionally open" scenes of the anime Light still manages to be Incredibly avoidant and contribute almost nothing to the entire ordeal.

L is visibly upset -> "Yeah Ryuzaki, you're not making any sense at all" (Not addressing the obvious conflict from L)

"Tell me, Light. From the moment you were born, has there ever been a point where you've actually told the truth?" -> "[The most stale, over-explained, avoidant answer to a "yes/no" question that you could ever hear + blatant attempts to reframe the question]"

(L's half-smile here kills me) "I had a feeling you'd say something like that" -> [Nothing]

"I'm sorry" -> [Nothing]

"It'll be lonely won't it? You and I will be parting ways soon" -> [Nothing]

^ From this point Light continues to say literally Nothing for the rest of the scene. I'm not even joking, from then on the rest of Light's voicelines are reduced to nothing but vague noises of confusion.

Everytime L calls Light out as a person ("Has there ever been a point where you've actually told the truth?" / "I had a feeling you'd say something like that." / "Won't it be lonely?") he doesn't actually acknowledge anything. Out of those three lines, he only answers verbally to if he's ever told the truth, and even then it's the most blatantly people-pleasing answer ever, as it usually is with Light. And I don't think it's because Light just. Doesn't care about any of what L's saying at all, or that he doesn't know what the hell he's talking about (questioning Light's authenticity as a person, saying it would be lonely when they part), instead he's choosing not to acknowledge any of what this means about himself or him and L at all. He's like a fucking wall.

And like, for the truth question in particular, the show makes sure that you know it's not something that Light just. Doesn't care enough about to answer. The hard cuts to silence are a very rare but extremely effective way that the show conveys an extremely important moment (see: Light regaining his memories, Matsuda noticing Light opening the warehouse door before he escapes (not as much of a "direct" cut to silence but still)), and cuts to multiple angles/framings/zooms of the exact same shot are also used for the same purpose (see: Light hugging Misa when she was crying, Matsuda aiming his gun to shoot Light, Light regaining his memories Again). Just like the scene where Light gets his memories back, the moment L's question finishes the show utilizes both. That question cut Deep. There's is a solid Almost 5 seconds of silence before the sound of the rain gradually starts fading back in, and honestly that should be telling enough as is (but of course Light doesn't actually admit that. Or anything at all really, so). Oh also another fun detail! We do not see Light's face At All (except for the shot where you can see his mouth moving but not his eyes), for the Entire time that he's going on his spiel to L. We Will Be Revisiting This Later, by the way. This is not, in fact, the first time you're going to see this detail from Light.

The only sort of reciprocation that we see from Light during Any of these two scenes is when Light dries L's hair while L dries his feet. Biblical meanings/references aside it's interesting because it's the only time he directly does anything "for" L in these scenes, but even then he doesn't try to pass it off as anything meaningful really the same way L does ("You're still soaked", a purely neutral and factual statement. It doesn't Add Anything compared to L's. Sin atonement loneliness grieving stuff. While Light is showing his own reciprocation to this more personal moment he also tries to keep it impersonal enough that it doesn't actually have to mean anything deep). And when L says "I'm sorry" after he once again gets no response from Light. It's also after this that L gets that pained look on his face, like he knows that at this point he's not actually going to get anything meaningful from Light (again, very significant and rare from L in the show. We've seen him in distress (see: when Ukita died, hell, when Watari dies), but even then he mostly manages to keep his usually neutral expression), we never see him "look sad" like he does here):

I just think it's interesting that this is one of the few scenes in this particular adaptation of Death Note where they try to open up the character's thoughts/feeling (especially considering the fact that they. lowkey blunder in adaptations of original scenes from the manga), and L himself is being rather open (not that he ever really tries to hide what he thinks nearly as much as Light), and yet all Light contributes to it in return is like. Actually nothing. Bro fumbled it. There is no resolution to any of this, to any of what L asks at all, to any of the many opportunities for a meaningful conversation, and the only thing even relatively close to an answer that you can get from Light is what you can infer from how he acts in the episode after L dies, where he's just going through the motions, but hardly acting as if he's actually living at all.

(Honestly I think the transition from this scene with the taskforce to the subsequent scene with Misa says enough on its own. Light's expressions and tone says everything:)

(Oh sidenote but. This shit again:

"Light, this is our first date in forever. can't you enjoy yourself a little more?" ('Why don't you seem happy? We can finally be together since L is dead') -> No response, Light instead changing the topic to him wanting to move in with Misa without changing his mannerisms at all

Also there's that one detail again. You pretty much don't see Light's expression when he speaks here at all, except for one shot of his eyes, which is quite literally the exact same shot they used when he "saw" L, just altered for the new setting. You have No idea what he looks like when he's responding to Misa, although it's probably fair to assume that it's the same empty stare he has for the whole Two Shots where you can clearly see his whole expression in the entire scene.

Something something Light Yagami bad at feelings I think you get the point though)

I guess Light's Kind of showing what he's feeling now? He'll admit to himself that it's boring without L, but no more than that. Light never actually admits to anything "significant", and L's dead already anyway, so what would that even do?

And then we get, uh. Basically nothing from Light. For the next 5 Years. Except that he joined the NPA, so, uh, yay? Good job, Light you totally nailed it! Thank you for allowing us as an audience to delve deeper into your inner thoughts and feelings as a character so we can find out more about you as a person! Very helpful! Thank you for not sabotaging one of your few dedicated opportunities to look into yourself as a person and reflect on your relationships with others and being 100% honest with yourself! We stay winning guys.

Anyway, this got way too long for a scene that's over a decade old, and I've probably just said everything that everyone else has already said in this fandom before. But unfortunately this has been living in my head for way too long and I must scream. I just think this episode's neat is all :)

tl;dr Part of the reason why the rain/foot scene (tbh episode 25 in General) stands out so much is because the Death Note anime specifically was a bit robbed in terms of its more emotional character moments compared to the other medias, which makes more somber/introspective scenes like the ones in episode 25 stand out a Lot in comparison. But it's also incredibly ironic because it's one of the few moments where the show (or specifically L) tries to look deeper into Light's character, but because he is so avoidant for the entire duration of these two scenes he adds basically nothing at all. It's almost funny. Mostly sad. It's also very gay. Aand post

Okay actually nevermind one more thing I talked about how the jdrama is supposed to be more emotionally in-depth because it is a TV Drama and just for the record, same thing happens there! I could probably do an entire analysis of the Blue Scene in this context like I did with episode 25 but I'd literally be here forever, so uh, just take this iconic line as my main example:

Same Thing. L's statement "I wish we could have met some other way" is personal. It's his own wish, his own regret that he is expressing to Light. While Light's reply obviously has that same regret implied it's also phrased in a specifically impersonal way. It's closed off. "This is the only way we could have met" it closes off the topic and simply renders L's wish as ultimately futile. Light does not say that he Also wishes he could have met L a different way even if it was likely impossible, instead it's a cold statement of cynical fact.

Idk just. Something something L being able and Willing to be more openly sentimental/emotionally open towards Light/about Light vs. Light's inability to be honest with anyone including himself and his own nature preventing any form of meaningful reciprocation. Something something self-sabotage, y'know the drill. God don't even get me Started on how sincere L's tone is when he says "It'll be lonely won't it?"(at least in the eng dub) in the anime I could talk about his tone in that scene for ages. Also yes all of this relates to L Change the WorLd too by the way. Don't ask how it just does okay.

I do think that scenes like these (rain/foot scene, The Blue Scene. Uh. L Change the WorLd The Novel Adaptation) show, at least in those adaptations, that L does genuinely care for Light, and show that he values him as a friend not just in the mindgame-equal sense but also just like, a more sincere sense you know. Idk if that made any sense and that's a whole other topic for another day but you guys just have to believe me on this one alright please please believe me buries head in hands. Okay post over finally thanks for coming to my tedtalk hope you enjoyed my very-unnecessarily long analysis of the week

[sprunkisunshinesuburbia]

Resident List pt III

Clukr Electrum

Age: 25

Gender: Male, He/Him

Height: 4’7

Color: Silver

Him and his husband make alot of the technology around the Sunshine Suburbs (Thus them and us council members work very closely together!- Heck, one of the council is their robot daughter.) Clukr is pretty lively- Almost a bit too much for me as he darts around working on projects and such that I’m too afraid to go near. (He tells me that potentially any button on there is a “Orphan crushing machine activation switch”- I know he’s joking but… A small part of me is terrified it actually is and that every orphan in the vicinity is in danger.)

He does mean well with his inventions despite his brash nature and strange jokes that often involve things being obliterated in some fashion. Also I think his music taste is nice (It’s um Punk Rock- Which I never thought I liked but hey! New things to listen to aside from recorded cave ambience!) He’s also a bit more comprehensible when it comes to getting explanations on how him and Garnold’s machines work.

Garnold Electrum

Age: 26

Gender: Male, He/ Him

Height: 6’5

Color: Gold

He’s… Odd… Like I mean everyone is in some way but I just cannot get a good read on him! Even without the robot suit, I legitimately can’t tell if he has something on his mind or… maybe nothing at all. He’s got this sort of mildy bored expression he has like almost all the time. What I can glean from hanging out with him and Clukr is that he really likes arcades and animatronics (I’ve never seen either of those before meeting the two of them… I didn’t live anywhere near any cities.)

He’s also real quiet- Shows up when you least expect him and goes “ooga booga” and it spooked me really bad at first (I’m a little bit of coward…) but I think thats one of the few times I’ve seen him smile so I assume he’s about as mischievous as his spouse.

He also does of the more dangerous tasks down in their laboratory due to the suit he made… Which he wears all the time! And its to the point where I kind of need a moment to recognize him without his suit on- Kind of like when you see your friend without glasses for the first few times. (I’ve been on the opposite end of that situation before-)

“Funbot” Felix Funsie Funnington Electrum

Age: 3 (Operational years), 13 ( Mentally)

Gender: None , It/Its

Height: 4’5

Color: Dull Gold

The first of Clukr and Garnold’s kids! Its very hyper and loves to play games- Like tag! (I can never keep up… I get so tired so fast.) I assume its so hyper since its solar powered (like almost everything here! It only makes sense since the sun’s always here-) It’s also very adventurous too- Along with its friend Laffy! Probably too adventurous because someone usually has to reign them back in and get the two back home. (Usually Tunner since he lives a bit on the outskirts, Sometimes Syno and Nymn when they get really far like, Practically out of town.)

Overall it’s a good kid! I’d offer to babysit it if I wasn’t so busy with sorting out papers inside most of the day- It gets pretty sluggish and sleepy (Can a robot get sleepy?) after like awhile indoors.

“Mr. Fun Computer” Felicity Electrum

Age: 3 (Operational years), 20 ( Mentally)

Gender: Female , She/He/It

Height: 6’5

Color: Velvet Blue

She's my co-worker! One of the council members (Though she'd rather have her info here alongside her family's than in a separate page-) . She was made specifically to help the town (Which she does so well!- Couldn’t have imagined getting all the documents sorted in a day without her or like… Uh she’s actually also the whole electric transmission system too- And other things- It’s alot-)

She’s generally pretty friendly to everyone though more so to the residents in the town registry (She says it’s nothing personal, It’s how she was programmed. Security reasons and all.) She also likes telling random fun facts like “A Blinker takes about 3 to 4 hours to mow a lawn.” and “The color of a sprunki, While dependant on genetics is also effected by environment.” kind of sometimes feels out of the blue but I suppose thats how she starts conversations without someone asking her for help . Speaking of that!- If you do need help she’s almost everywhere in her booths in town. All you need to do is ask!

I will also warn that she kind of got her dad (Garnold)’s habit of popping out and scaring the living lights out of people but!! It’s all in good fun! Don’t take it personally when she does it— She’s just having fun!

<< Part II Pinned Post Part IV (WIP) >>

[amethystarachnid]

CHRISTMAS KITTY

⤷ ANTHONY “TONY” E. STARK

ᯓ★ Pairing: Anthony “Tony” E. Stark x fem!reader

ᯓ★ Genre: romance, fluff

ᯓ★ Request from: MARVEL Holiday special

ᯓ★ Story type: one shot

ᯓ★ Request: 26. Decorating the Tree Together  – You and your character decorate a Christmas tree together, each putting your personal touch on it. A quiet moment full of holiday spirit, plus maybe a surprise gift hidden in the branches! This prompt with Tony please? 😁 and the surprise gift is a kitten? I love kittens and cats 😻😻😻😻😻 (@ts-rdj-reader )

ᯓ★ Word count: 6.3k

ᯓ★ Summary: what the ask said

ᯓ★ TW(s): nothing

ᯓ★ My Masterlist

ᯓ★ MARVEL Holiday Special

ᯓ★ MARVEL Multiverse - choose an AU, pair it with your favorite character and make a request!

ᯓ★ Songs & Superheroes tales - The Game (to make a request, follow the rules on the link!)

ᯓ★ MARVEL Bingo

ᯓ★ English isn’t my first language

It's December in New York, and the first snow of the season has just begun to fall in delicate, fluttering flakes. The city, as always, feels like it's bustling with energy, but there's a softness to the air today, a quiet sort of peace that only the holiday season can bring. The kind of peace you can’t help but be caught up in.

You're bundled up in a cozy sweater and thick scarf, watching Tony fumble with his jacket. He looks up at you with a slight smirk as he zips it up, his chest puffed out as if the jacket somehow makes him look even more impressive.

“Think you’re ready for this?” you tease, adjusting your hat as you stand by the door. “I mean, buying a Christmas tree is serious business.”

He rolls his eyes dramatically, but there’s a twinkle in his expression that betrays his excitement. “Of course I’m ready. What could possibly go wrong? It’s just a tree.”

You raise an eyebrow, watching him try to act nonchalant. Tony Stark might be a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, but there’s one thing he’s never had to deal with—decorating for the holidays. This is your first Christmas living together in his sleek, glass-and-steel penthouse, and you’ve both agreed that it’s time to make it feel like home. A tree is step one.

His phone buzzes in his pocket, and he pulls it out, glancing at the screen.

“Pepper says she hopes we don’t burn down the building,” Tony mutters, slipping the phone back into his pocket. “I’m thinking a big, grand tree this year, something that’s going to put Rockefeller Center’s to shame. Don’t you think?”

You laugh at his over-the-top enthusiasm. “We’ll see about that, Mr. Stark. Let’s just get the tree first. We’ll save the grandiosity for the decorations.”

It’s only when you step out into the chilly evening air that the weight of the moment settles in—your first holiday together in the place you’ve both made your own. The city feels a little more magical now. Maybe it’s because of the snow, or maybe it’s just the way Tony makes everything feel like an adventure, no matter how mundane the task. You wrap your arm around his, feeling the heat from his body through the layers of clothing. He pulls you in closer with a quick kiss on the top of your head, and the world feels a little warmer.

“So, what’s your ideal tree?” Tony asks as you start down the street toward the small, family-run tree lot he’s insisted on going to. The man is always about supporting local businesses, even if that business happens to be a Christmas tree seller in the middle of a snowy December night.

“Hmm,” you hum thoughtfully. “Something tall, but not too overwhelming. You know, elegant. And definitely one with a strong scent. The kind you can smell as soon as you walk into the room.”

Tony grins. “I knew it. You’ve got that Pinterest board thing going on.”

You shove him lightly, your cheeks flushing at how easily he can read you. He’s right, though. You’ve spent hours scrolling through Christmas inspiration—dreaming up a perfect holiday, and a perfect tree to match it.

As you approach the lot, you can already hear the festive music playing in the background and smell the faint scent of pine and fresh-cut trees. Tony pulls open the gate for you, letting you inside first. The lot is smaller than you imagined, but it’s full of trees of all shapes and sizes, stacked haphazardly but with care.

“I think I see it,” Tony says as he scans the trees, his eyes narrowing. “The perfect one.”

You follow his gaze, and your breath catches in your throat. There, nestled between two slightly crooked firs, is a tree. It’s taller than the others, its branches a deep green, with just enough space between them to be filled with twinkling lights and ornaments. Its shape is symmetrical but not overly perfect—just like the way Tony always manages to balance chaos and precision in everything he does.

“That’s the one,” you agree, giving him a playful shove as you walk toward it. “Well done, Mr. Stark.”

Tony shoots you a wink and saunters over to the tree, inspecting it like it’s a high-tech gadget instead of a holiday decoration. He kneels beside it, reaching out to touch a few of the branches. “I don’t know, I think it’s a little too… nice. We need something that says ‘Tony Stark lives here.’”

You roll your eyes, but you can’t stop the smile that tugs at your lips. You love that about him—that he can make everything feel bigger than life. Even something as simple as choosing a Christmas tree becomes a mini-event in his world.

“You’re not putting any of your weird tech inside the tree, are you?” you tease, hands on your hips. “No lasers, no rockets, no holographic star, okay?”

Tony raises an eyebrow, looking far too interested in the idea. “You’re asking the wrong person. But, no promises,” he says, already pulling out his phone to check something on his holographic display.

You give him a playful shove, and this time he stumbles a little, catching himself against the tree. He lets out a dramatic gasp, looking down at it like he’s about to fall in love with the idea of the tree himself. “It’s perfect. We can definitely make this work.”

The seller walks over to you both, an older man with a thick beard and weathered hands. “I see you’ve got a good eye. She’s a beauty, alright. We just brought her in this morning. I’ll have my son help get it to your car.”

You nod, smiling warmly at the man. “Thanks so much. We’ll take it.”

As the seller arranges for the delivery, Tony reaches for your hand, his fingers interlocking with yours. The moment feels calm and easy, just the two of you standing in the middle of a Christmas tree lot in the heart of a bustling city.

“I can’t wait to see it in the apartment,” you say softly, glancing up at Tony.

He smirks, squeezing your hand. “It’ll be legendary.”

You can’t help but laugh, feeling the joy of the moment settle into your chest. Tony, in his own quirky way, always knows how to make everything seem like an adventure. It’s like he lives for these moments of pure, unfiltered happiness. And you’re lucky enough to experience them with him.

As the tree is loaded onto a delivery truck, you make your way back to the penthouse, arms around each other, sharing quiet smiles. The city is alive with lights and the glow of Christmas spirit, but with Tony beside you, it all feels a little brighter.

You both arrive back at the penthouse just as the first snow of the evening begins to pick up again, turning the streets into a winter wonderland. Tony pulls out his phone, checking the progress on the tree’s delivery. You walk over to the window, gazing out at the twinkling lights of the city below, your thoughts drifting to the holiday ahead.

Tony joins you a few moments later, wrapping his arms around you from behind. You tilt your head back, finding comfort in the solid presence of his chest against your back.

“I’m really glad we’re doing this,” you murmur, pressing a kiss to his hand.

“Doing what?” Tony asks, his voice low and amused.

“This,” you gesture to the apartment, “making our first Christmas together. It feels… right.”

Tony presses a kiss to the side of your head, his breath warm against your skin. “Yeah. Me too.”

The sound of a truck pulling up outside catches your attention. You glance out the window, smiling when you see the delivery man bringing the tree up to the door. Tony squeezes your shoulder gently.

“Ready for this?” he asks, his voice filled with mock seriousness. “The holiday season is about to be officially underway.”

You nod, a grin spreading across your face. “Let’s do it.”

The tree is brought in, standing tall and proud in the center of your living room. It’s a perfect fit for the space, and as the lights shine through the branches, you feel the warmth of the holiday spirit filling every corner of the penthouse.

Tony looks at you, eyes shining with excitement. “What’s first?”

You take a deep breath, glancing around the room. It’s all yours. The tree is just the beginning.

“I think,” you say, your voice full of excitement, “we start with the lights.”

Tony nods, his grin widening. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

You kneel down in front of the tree, placing the first strand of lights in your hands. The room feels even warmer now, the dim lights from the penthouse windows softly illuminating everything with their golden glow, but it’s the tree that stands proudly at the center of it all. You reach for the plug to connect the lights, only to hear a faint grunt behind you.

Tony, in his usual enthusiastic style, has already jumped headfirst into the next task: stringing the lights up the tree. Or, more accurately, tangling himself in them.

You glance over your shoulder to find him hunched down, one arm flailing in the air as he tries to reach the highest branch. Unfortunately, the string of lights is now wrapped around his torso, like a garland that has a personal vendetta against him. His expression is one of deep concentration, but also complete and utter confusion.

"Uh, Tony, are you sure you know what you're doing?" you ask, trying to suppress your laughter.

"I’m just… uh, testing the lights,” he mutters, looking incredibly focused on not falling face-first into the tree. "Gotta make sure they work before we get them all in place."

"Uh-huh." You narrow your eyes. "Sure you are. That’s why you're wrapped up like a Christmas present."

Tony looks down at himself, his eyes going wide in genuine surprise. "Well, I didn’t plan for this," he admits. “But… hey, at least now I’m ready for any unexpected electrical malfunctions. Safety first, right?”

You can’t help but burst out laughing, watching him try to extricate himself from the mess of lights. He tugs at the string, but it only tightens more around his chest like a boa constrictor.

"Tony," you say, holding your hand up to try to stifle your giggles. "Maybe you should stop for a second, and we’ll start from the beginning, yeah? You can’t exactly decorate a tree while stuck in a knot."

He pauses, staring at the lights for a long moment before sighing dramatically, like he's performing some sort of grand monologue. "I never imagined my life would come to this," he says with a theatrical sigh, “trapped by holiday lights. Who knew the holiday season could be so treacherous?”

"Maybe if you actually followed the instructions," you tease, walking over to help him. "You know, instead of winging it like everything else you do."

He gives you an exaggerated pout. "I don’t need instructions. I’m Tony Stark. Instructions are for mere mortals."

"Oh, I’m sure the lights will be impressed with your genius," you reply, tugging at the string around his arm. "Alright, hold still. I’m going to help you out of this before you make it worse."

You gently start untangling him, but the more you try to help, the more absurd the situation becomes. At one point, his arm gets stuck in the lights so badly that it seems like they’ve fused into his jacket sleeve. He attempts to free himself by flapping his arm around in exaggerated circles, causing the lights to wrap even tighter.

"I think it's just easier if we burn the whole thing and start fresh," he mutters. "It would save a lot of time and frustration.”

You shake your head, chuckling. "How would you even burn it? You’d probably end up blowing up the building."

“I’m not that bad,” Tony protests, though he still looks tangled beyond belief. “I’ve got it under control… mostly.”

With a final tug, you manage to unravel him from the lights, leaving him looking defeated, his hair a bit more disheveled than usual. He looks at the string of lights in his hands with a defeated sigh.

“Alright, that’s it. You finish this part, I’ll handle something else,” he declares, tossing the lights toward you. “But only because I love you, and I’m clearly not cut out for this domestic stuff.”

You roll your eyes but give him a playful kiss on the cheek. “I love you too, even if you’re a disaster when it comes to holiday decorating.”

He grins at you, his usual cocky confidence returning. “Hey, someone has to make the season interesting.”

You take over, carefully stringing the lights around the tree. Tony stands off to the side, looking around at the ornaments you’ve laid out on the coffee table. His eyes immediately light up with mischievousness.

“Now this,” he says, picking up a glass ornament shaped like a small rocket, “this is the kind of decoration we need. A bit of me in this whole thing.”

You glance over, raising an eyebrow at the tiny rocket in his hand. “A rocket? Really?”

“Well, what better way to spice things up than a tiny Tony Stark rocket? I mean, the thing is pretty cool.” He grins, holding it up like a prize. “I could program it to do something flashy. A little jet-powered display, maybe?”

You hold up your hand to stop him. “Tony, no. Please don’t turn the Christmas tree into a mini Iron Man flight simulation.”

He chuckles, finally relenting and placing the ornament back with the others. “Alright, alright, no mini explosions. But can we at least agree on this—when we get the star on top, it’s going to be the most badass one ever?”

You smirk. “If you’re thinking about making the star fly, I swear to God…”

Tony throws his hands up in mock surrender. “Fine! No flying stars. I promise. But it’s going to be shiny. You’ll see.”

With the lights finally in place, you stand back to admire your work. The tree is looking better by the second. The warm glow from the lights fills the room, and you can already imagine how cozy everything will feel once you start adding the ornaments and tinsel.

“Okay,” you say, moving to the table where the rest of the ornaments are waiting. “Now we get to the fun part. You ready?”

Tony stretches, shaking out his arms like he's preparing for a big game. “Born ready,” he declares, grabbing a handful of ornaments without looking. “Alright, I’m going to start with these. The important ones.”

You raise an eyebrow, but before you can stop him, Tony hangs the first ornament—a bright red one—with no regard for symmetry. In fact, it’s completely off-center, hanging at an odd angle that’s almost comical.

“Tony,” you say, biting back a laugh. “What are you doing? You can’t just randomly throw ornaments on the tree.”

He shrugs. “Why not? It’s Christmas. The tree can be a little… spontaneous.”

You can’t hold it in anymore and burst out laughing. “It looks like the tree’s been attacked by a very enthusiastic toddler.”

“Hey, don’t knock the randomness,” Tony defends, sticking his tongue out at you. “It’s… avant-garde.”

You roll your eyes. “I’m not sure ‘avant-garde’ is the word you’re looking for.”

“Fine,” he sighs dramatically. “I’ll do it your way. But only because you look so cute when you’re being all decorator-y about it.” He gives you a teasing wink before picking up another ornament.

You can barely keep your smile in check as you show him how to hang the ornaments more evenly. But as you demonstrate, Tony inevitably sneaks in a few of his chaotic touches—an ornament hung upside down here, another off to one side. At one point, he hands you a glittery snowman ornament that is somehow tangled in a length of tinsel.

“Here, put this one up,” he says, looking far too pleased with himself. “It’s got character.”

You burst out laughing as you try to untangle the snowman, holding it up in front of your face. "Character? It looks like it got stuck in a snowdrift.”

Tony laughs with you, the sound of it easy and warm. “I think it adds some charm to the tree.”

As the two of you finish decorating, you step back to admire your work. The tree, though slightly lopsided in places, has a certain charm to it. It’s uniquely yours—full of mismatched ornaments, half-wrapped ribbons, and just the right amount of chaos.

Tony steps back, admiring it with a proud grin. “You know what? It might not be perfect, but it’s got style.”

You glance over at him, shaking your head but smiling. “It’s a little more than that. It’s ours.”

His eyes soften, and for a moment, there’s a silence between you. You both stand in front of the tree, feeling a sense of contentment that only comes with creating something together.

“You know,” Tony says, his voice quieter now, “this is nice. I like this. Decorating the tree with you… it’s something I could get used to.”

You turn to him, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. “Me too, Tony. Me too.”

And as you stand there, side by side, with the tree twinkling in front of you and the warmth of the holiday season filling the air, you realize that no matter how messy or chaotic things get, this is exactly where you’re meant to be.

The tree stands tall and glowing, a patchwork of holiday spirit reflecting the personalities of its decorators—quirky, vibrant, and just a little chaotic. The warm light dances across the room, and the faint scent of pine lingers in the air. You and Tony sit curled up together on the couch, a soft blanket draped over your legs, your head resting on his shoulder as you both admire your handiwork.

“This turned out better than I expected,” you admit, your voice soft as the quiet holiday music plays in the background.

“Better than expected?” Tony feigns offense, turning to look at you. “Did you doubt me? I’m hurt. Wounded, even.”

You snicker, nudging him lightly. “I just wasn’t sure if the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist thing translated to decorating Christmas trees.”

He smirks, his arm tightening around you. “Well, clearly, I’m a man of many talents.”

You roll your eyes, but the warmth of the moment keeps you from retorting. Instead, you snuggle closer, your hand resting lightly on his chest as the two of you enjoy the rare quiet of the evening.

For a while, it’s perfect—just you, Tony, and the soft glow of the tree. But after a few minutes, you notice Tony glancing toward the clock on the wall. At first, you think nothing of it. Tony’s always been fidgety, always a million thoughts ahead of himself. But then he does it again, his gaze flickering toward the clock almost absentmindedly, like he’s trying not to make it obvious.

“Something on your mind?” you ask, lifting your head slightly to look at him.

Tony shakes his head quickly, a little too quickly. “Nope. Just thinking about… stuff. Business stuff.” He waves his hand dismissively, but you can feel the slight tension in his posture.

You narrow your eyes, not buying it. “Business stuff? Tony, it’s almost time for dinner. You’re not supposed to be thinking about business stuff.”

He looks down at you, flashing one of his charming smiles, the kind that usually works on just about everyone. “You’re right. No business stuff. Just tree stuff. And couch stuff. And you stuff.” He leans down to press a kiss to your forehead, clearly hoping to derail your train of thought.

And for a moment, it works. You let yourself relax back into him, letting the sound of his heartbeat and the warm weight of his arm around you pull you into the comfort of the evening. But then his phone buzzes on the coffee table.

Your gaze flicks to the screen, but before you can read the notification, Tony shifts forward, reaching for the phone with a quickness that feels just a little… off. He doesn’t open the message right away. Instead, he stands up, the blanket sliding off his lap, and steps toward the window. The soft glow of the city lights frames him as he unlocks the phone and reads the message in silence.

You sit up straighter, watching him carefully. “What’s that about?” you ask, keeping your tone light but curious.

He doesn’t look at you right away. Instead, he stares at the screen for a moment longer before locking the phone and slipping it into his pocket. “Nothing important,” he says casually, turning back to face you. But there’s something in his voice—something slightly distracted—that makes your stomach twist.

“Tony,” you say, tilting your head as you study him. “What’s going on?”

He hesitates, and for the briefest moment, you think he might tell you. But then he clears his throat and puts on that easy, carefree grin again. “It’s nothing, really. Just something I need to take care of real quick. Won’t take long.”

You frown, standing up and crossing your arms as you watch him grab his jacket from the back of the chair. “Take care of what? It’s late, Tony. Where are you going?”

He looks at you, his expression softening just enough to make you second-guess your suspicion. “It’s a surprise,” he says, stepping closer to cup your face in his hands. “I promise it’s nothing bad. You’ll like it.”

“A surprise?” you repeat, raising an eyebrow. “Can’t it wait until tomorrow?”

“It could,” he admits, his thumb brushing lightly over your cheek. “But trust me, it’s better if I handle it tonight.”

You search his face, trying to read the truth behind his words. Tony’s always been good at keeping secrets, but this feels… different. There’s a flicker of something in his eyes—nervousness? Guilt? You can’t quite pin it down.

“I don’t like it when you’re vague,” you say quietly, your arms dropping to your sides. “If it’s really a surprise, you can just tell me.”

He shakes his head, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips. “I know. But you’ll just have to trust me on this one, okay? I’ll be back before you know it.”

You don’t answer right away, your heart tugging in two directions. On one hand, you trust Tony—you love him, and you know he wouldn’t leave like this without a good reason. But on the other hand, something about the way he’s acting feels… off. And the fact that he’s leaving this late, when you were supposed to spend the night together, doesn’t sit right with you.

“Alright,” you say finally, your voice tinged with reluctance. “But if you’re not back in an hour, I’m calling Pepper to tattle on you.”

Tony grins, clearly relieved that you’re letting it go, at least for now. “Fair deal,” he says, pulling you into a quick hug before heading for the door. “Don’t worry, I’ve got this covered. Just enjoy the tree and keep the couch warm for me.”

And with that, he’s gone, leaving you standing in the middle of the room, the glow of the Christmas lights suddenly feeling a little less warm. You glance toward the clock, then toward the door, a knot forming in your chest as the silence settles over the room.

You sit back down on the couch, pulling the blanket over your lap, but you can’t relax. Your eyes keep drifting toward the door, your mind racing with possibilities. What kind of surprise could he be planning? And why did he seem so anxious about it?

The minutes tick by, and though you try to focus on the tree or the soft music playing in the background, your thoughts keep circling back to Tony. Something about this doesn’t feel right, and the longer he’s gone, the harder it becomes to shake the uneasy feeling in your gut.

The ticking of the clock grows louder with each passing minute, the sound cutting through the quiet hum of the room. You glance at your phone for the hundredth time, debating whether you should call Tony. It’s been an hour and a half since he left, and your mind has wandered to every possible worst-case scenario.

Maybe he’s stuck in traffic. Maybe he got sidetracked by some last-minute business emergency. Maybe he’s planning some kind of over-the-top stunt, and it’s taking longer than expected. You try to reassure yourself, but the knot in your stomach refuses to loosen.

Then, just as you’re about to give in and dial his number, the sound of the elevator whirring to life snaps your attention to the front door. You sit up straighter, your heart thudding in your chest as the door slides open to reveal Tony stepping inside.

He’s carrying two things: a large cardboard box with small holes punched into the sides and a massive shopping bag that looks ready to burst at the seams. His hair is slightly tousled, and there’s a sheepish grin on his face as he meets your gaze.

“Miss me?” he asks, kicking the door shut behind him.

“Tony!” You rush to your feet, half-relieved and half-annoyed. “Where have you been? You said you’d be quick!”

“I know, I know,” he says, setting the box down carefully on the coffee table. The shopping bag follows with a dull thud. “And I’m sorry, sweetheart. But, uh, this couldn’t wait.”

Your eyes flick to the box, then back to Tony, your suspicion immediately kicking back into gear. “What do you mean, ‘couldn’t wait’? What’s in the box? And why does it have… holes?”

Tony scratches the back of his neck, looking uncharacteristically nervous. “Okay, so, remember how I said I had a surprise? Well, this is it. Or, uh, part of it.”

“Part of it?” you repeat, crossing your arms. “Tony, if there’s a bomb in there, I swear—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” he interrupts, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “No bombs. I promise. Just… open it, alright? Trust me.”

You eye him warily, but curiosity gets the better of you. Stepping closer, you reach for the box, lifting the lid slowly. At first, all you see is a bundle of soft, orange fur curled up in a cozy blanket. Then, as the light filters in, two tiny green eyes blink up at you, followed by a delicate little meow.

Your breath catches in your throat. “Tony… is this—?”

“A kitten,” he says, grinning from ear to ear. “Your kitten. Merry… well, pre-Christmas.”

You stare down at the little creature in disbelief as it stretches and lets out another soft meow. Its fur is a vibrant orange, its tiny paws tipped with white like it’s wearing little socks. Its tail flicks lazily, and it looks up at you with the kind of wide-eyed innocence that melts your heart instantly.

“Oh my God,” you whisper, gently lifting the kitten from the box. It’s warm and impossibly small, its tiny body fitting perfectly into your hands. “Tony, I—where did you even—?”

“It’s been in the works for a while,” he explains, watching you with a fond smile as you cradle the kitten against your chest. “You’ve mentioned wanting a pet a few times, and I figured, hey, why not make it happen? But the shelter called me tonight and said they couldn’t hold him any longer. Apparently, he’s a popular little guy.”

“You… went to a shelter?” You glance up at him, your voice soft with surprise.

“Of course,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “I might be a genius, but even I know you’d never forgive me if I bought one from some fancy breeder.”

Your heart swells, and you feel tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. “Tony, this is… this is amazing. He’s perfect.”

The kitten nuzzles into your chest, purring softly, and you can’t help but smile. You’ve always wanted a pet, but between your busy life and Tony’s hectic schedule, it never seemed like the right time. But now, holding this tiny bundle of fur, everything feels just right.

“I’m glad you like him,” Tony says, his voice unusually soft. “Because, uh, that’s not all.”

He gestures toward the shopping bag, which you now realize is overflowing with supplies: a litter box, bags of kitten food, a variety of toys, a cozy little bed, and even a scratching post. There’s enough in there to keep the kitten happy and spoiled for months.

“You really went all out,” you say, laughing through your tears.

“Hey, if we’re doing this, we’re doing it right,” he says with a shrug. “Besides, you deserve it. Both of you.”

You place the kitten carefully back in the box so you can throw your arms around Tony, hugging him tightly. “Thank you,” you whisper, your voice thick with emotion. “This is the best surprise ever.”

He holds you close, his hand running gently up and down your back. “You’re welcome, sweetheart. I just want you to be happy.”

You pull back just enough to look up at him, your hands resting on his chest. “I’m more than happy,” you say, your smile widening. “I’m completely in love. With both of you.”

Tony chuckles, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips. “Well, I can’t compete with a face like that,” he says, nodding toward the kitten, who’s now batting at a loose ribbon in the box. “But I’ll take what I can get.”

The two of you spend the rest of the evening introducing the kitten to his new home. You let him explore the penthouse at his own pace, watching as he pounces on the smallest shadows and skids across the hardwood floors in an adorable flurry of fur and energy. Tony, for all his swagger and bravado, is just as smitten as you are, crouching down to dangle toys and laughing when the kitten leaps after them with wobbly precision.

“What should we name him?” you ask at one point, sitting cross-legged on the floor as the kitten curls up in your lap.

Tony tilts his head, considering. “Well, he’s orange. How about something like… Rusty? Or Cheeto?”

You give him a look. “Cheeto? Really?”

“What? It’s cute!” he defends, grinning. “Alright, fine. Your call. I’ll just veto anything boring.”

You laugh, looking down at the kitten as he blinks up at you sleepily. “How about… Pumpkin?”

Tony pretends to mull it over, then nods. “Pumpkin. I like it. Festive, cute, and just a little bit cheesy. Perfect.”

“Pumpkin it is,” you say, gently stroking the kitten’s soft fur.

As the night goes on, the three of you settle back onto the couch, the kitten curled up between you and Tony. The Christmas tree glows softly in the corner, casting the room in a warm, golden light. And for the first time in a long time, everything feels exactly as it should be—cozy, peaceful, and filled with love.

Tony wraps an arm around you, pulling you close as you both watch Pumpkin doze off. “You know,” he says softly, “this might be the best Christmas ever.”

You smile, leaning your head against his shoulder. “It definitely is,” you agree. “And it’s not even Christmas yet.”

He chuckles, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Well, consider this a warm-up. The real show’s just getting started.”

And as you sit there, wrapped in Tony’s arms with Pumpkin purring softly beside you, you can’t imagine anything better.

Tony Stark doesn’t consider himself the jealous type. Not when it comes to humans, at least. He’s Tony Stark, after all—billionaire, genius, and your boyfriend. Why would he ever need to compete for your attention?

And yet, as he stands in the living room of his penthouse, watching you coo at Pumpkin for what feels like the hundredth time that day, Tony feels an unfamiliar twinge in his chest. The kitten, curled up in your lap and purring loud enough to drown out the faint hum of the city below, soaks up every ounce of your affection like he’s been in your life for years instead of just a couple of days.

“Pumpkin, you’re such a good boy,” you murmur, stroking the kitten’s soft orange fur. He stretches lazily, his tiny paws reaching out to bat at your hand, and you giggle in response, your face lighting up with pure adoration.

Tony clears his throat, hoping to grab your attention. When that doesn’t work, he tries again, louder this time. “You know, I’m still here,” he says, crossing his arms as he leans against the wall. “Your human boyfriend. The one who, might I remind you, actually got you the furball in the first place.”

You glance up at him with a grin, clearly amused. “I know, Tony. And you did a great job. I love him.”

“Uh-huh,” Tony replies, raising an eyebrow. “You love him. And what about me?”

“Oh, I love you too,” you say, laughing lightly. “But Pumpkin’s just… so cute. Look at him!”

Tony sighs dramatically, throwing his hands in the air. “Yeah, he’s cute. But I’m cute too! I’m fun. I’m Tony Stark.”

Pumpkin chooses that moment to yawn, his tiny mouth stretching wide before he curls back into a contented ball on your lap. You immediately let out an “aww” and start petting him again, completely ignoring Tony’s faux outrage.

“Unbelievable,” Tony mutters, shaking his head as he flops onto the couch beside you. “I bring you a kitten, and suddenly I’m chopped liver.”

You nudge him playfully with your elbow. “You’re not chopped liver. You’re just… second place right now.”

“Second place?!” Tony stares at you, his jaw dropping in mock offense. “I didn’t spend a fortune on that scratching post in the corner so I could be demoted to second place.”

“Tony,” you say, trying to keep a straight face as you turn to him. “Pumpkin is a baby. He needs attention.”

“I need attention!” Tony counters, pointing to himself. “What about me? Who’s gonna scratch my ears and tell me I’m a good boy?”

You burst out laughing, and Tony can’t help but grin despite himself. There’s something about your laugh that always makes him forget whatever point he was trying to make, even when he’s “arguing” with a kitten.

“Alright, alright,” you say, reaching over to ruffle his hair. “You’re a good boy, Tony.”

“Too late,” he replies, huffing as he leans back against the couch. “I see how it is. I’ve been replaced. I might as well start growing whiskers and eating kibble at this point.”

Pumpkin stirs in your lap, his green eyes blinking open as he lets out a soft, high-pitched meow. You immediately coo again, leaning down to nuzzle the kitten. “Aww, did you wake up, little guy? You’re such a sweetheart, aren’t you?”

Tony watches this exchange with growing exasperation. “Oh, come on. He meowed. That’s it. Do you want me to meow? Because I will. I’ll meow right now.”

You bite your lip, trying not to laugh, but it’s a losing battle. “Tony, please don’t.”

“No, no,” Tony says, sitting up straight. “I’m serious. If that’s all it takes to get your attention, I’ll start practicing my feline repertoire. Meow. There, how was that?”

You’re laughing so hard now that Pumpkin looks up at you with what can only be described as mild concern. “Tony, stop,” you manage between giggles. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“Ridiculous?!” Tony gasps, clutching his chest dramatically. “This is my penthouse. My tree. My girlfriend. And now, my replacement.” He gestures at Pumpkin, who has climbed onto your shoulder and is pawing at your hair like it’s his new favorite toy.

You reach up to steady the kitten, still smiling. “Tony, you’re being jealous of a kitten. A kitten.”

“Not jealous,” he says quickly. “Just… concerned. For my well-being. Do you know how much of my lap space he’s taking up? And what about my snuggle quota? I’m going to be malnourished from lack of affection at this rate.”

You shake your head, still laughing as you set Pumpkin down on the couch between you. The kitten promptly curls up into a ball again, seemingly unbothered by the ongoing drama. “Tony, you’re ridiculous,” you say, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “But you’re my ridiculous.”

“Damn right, I am,” he mutters, though he can’t hide the pleased grin that tugs at his lips. “Just remember that next time you’re fawning over the furball.”

You roll your eyes but settle against him, resting your head on his shoulder as you both look down at Pumpkin. “You know, you’re the one who brought him into the house. You did this to yourself.”

Tony groans, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t realize I was signing up to be the third wheel in my own relationship.”

You glance up at him with a smirk. “If it makes you feel better, you’re still my favorite billionaire genius.”

“Favorite billionaire genius? That’s a low bar,” he grumbles. “How about favorite everything?”

“Fine,” you say, pressing a kiss to his jaw. “Favorite everything.”

He grins, finally looking smug again. “That’s more like it.”

Pumpkin chooses that moment to let out a soft snore, and you both look down at him. Despite all of Tony’s grumbling, you can see the fondness in his eyes as he watches the tiny ball of orange fur sleep peacefully.

“He’s pretty great, isn’t he?” you ask softly.

Tony sighs, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “Yeah, he’s alright. But if he starts hogging the bed, we’re gonna have words.”

You laugh, snuggling closer to him. “Deal.”

For the rest of the night, Tony continues to play up his faux-jealousy, sneaking exaggerated glares at Pumpkin whenever you’re not looking. But deep down, you know he’s already completely smitten with the kitten—even if he won’t admit it. And as the three of you settle into the glow of the Christmas tree, it’s clear that Pumpkin has brought even more joy into your already chaotic, love-filled life.

[asarajaa]

can I get some headcanons about jealous Kenma?? Thank you!!

Sure! Hope you like it <3!

Warnings: gn!reader Words: 565 Disclaimer: English isn't my first language so I apologise for any mistakes or misunderstandings!

Jelous Kenma hcs

₊˚ෆ I don't think Kenma is the jelousy type tbh.

₊˚ෆ But sometimes he has insecurities because, look at you, how is it that you-a beautiful, incredible, gorgeous (and the list goes on) person- ended up with a guy like him?

₊˚ෆ The boy thinks that you're out of his league and that he's so lucky to have you.

₊˚ෆ However, if you're ignoring him, well, that's different.

₊˚ෆ At first, he doesn't notice beacuse, why would you ignore him?

₊˚ෆ But once he does- proceed with caution.

₊˚ෆ This boy will make anything to caught your attention.

₊˚ෆ There was this time when you decided to try videogames, but no Kenmas videogames, no, otome videogames.

You were just chilling in your boyfriends bed, scrolling through social media while your boyfriend was playing in his computer until you saw this new viral otome game. In your boredom, you decided to give it a try and- omg

What is this thing and where was it your whole life???

The hours went by and you were just giggling and moving while playing with your phone. After failing the mission for the 34th time in a row, Kenma decided to have a little break.

Kenma lay down on his bed only to find you 100% focused on your phone. At first, he though you were only watching a video and when the video's over you'll give him attention.

With that in mind, he waited patiently on the other side of his bed for you to notice him. But when the minutes went by and you weren't paying him any attention, he though he had enough.

"Uhm, babe? What are you watching?" he asked calmly, with no signs that he wanted your attention because he's not attention starved.

(Oh, but he is)

You shuddered and give a small jump "Kenma? I didn't notice you" you said while you returned your gaze back to the game, his brow furrowing. "What were you saying?" you asked.

"I asked you what were you watching" he repetead himself.

"Actually, I'm talking to a guy of this ne- oh my god" you let out a giggle while your fingertips were tapping.

His brow furrowed more because who were you talking to and why was he more important than him, your boyfriend?

"A guy? I know him?" he asked, moving closer to you.

"I don't think so?" you chuckle imagine your boyfriend playing the otome game "His name is Zach, he's 24 and has electric blue eyes with baby blue hair" you gave him hints, hoping that he'd hear of him since he's the main male lead of the game.

"Who on this earth has baby blue hair' Like-"

"Shoyo has orange hair."

"..."

"..."

"...Do you want me to dye my hair baby blue?"

"Baby- What?" you asked shocked, what on earth was he talking a- oh.

Oh.

"Are you jelous?" you were teasing him.

"..."

" You know I'm p-playing an otome-game, r-right?" you were trying your best to not laugh but his cute red face was not helping.

He quietly gets up of the bed and started walking towards his computer.

Now you were laughing.

"B-Baby! Wait! I didn't mean to but-"

₊˚ෆ He thinks that's the most embarassed time he's ever been.

₊˚ෆ Kenma will start playing videogames again like nothing happend.

₊˚ෆ At the end, you had to cuddle with him and explain him all the situation, while you tried your best to not laugh.

Thank you all for sending request! I'm so happy to do them!

Please, tell me your opn about this one, I really appreciate if you guys comment on how can I improve <3

26/04/24

© asarajaa — Please, do not copy, translate or reuse my work without my permission.

[huellitaa]

long list of little things to do for urself 🧸🎀🫶✨

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 1. wash ur bedding, towels, curtains, etc.

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 2. fill up ur shopping baskets on every site possible

🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 3. clean out cosmetics and skincare

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 4. start a project of something you love

⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ 5. browse cute pets to buy one day

💬𓂃 ࣪˖ 6. impulsively rearrange ur space

🩷𓂃 ࣪˖ 7. light some candles (if u arent deathly afraid of fire)

🐇𓂃 ࣪˖ 8. clean out your purse and every day bag

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 9. make a pillow fort

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 10. redo all ur playlists and clean them all out

🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 11. lay on the floor and sing ur fav songs for 3 hours

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 12. make a recipe book (even if u cant cook)

⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ 13. clean ur mirrors and windows

💬𓂃 ࣪˖ 14. write a debate about a topic you feel strongly on

🩷𓂃 ࣪˖ 15. create some art to go on ur walls

🐇𓂃 ࣪˖ 16. stick up some old photos or cute things and decorate ur walls

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 17. polish ur jewelry

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 18. write a huge essay on something you know nothing about

🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 19. watch a virtual concert (youtube - tiny desk is v good!)

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 20. make urself a big fruit platter

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 21. read a parenting book and see how you can incorporate the tips mentioned into how u treat urself

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 22. mend ur old clothes or get someone to help u fix them

🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 23. read a book w a flashlight and happy music under a blanket

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 24. host a tea party w ur plushies and old toys

⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ 25. study ur horoscope for this month and how u can use it to ur advantage

💬𓂃 ࣪˖ 26. go thrifting and window shopping and take photos on ur phone of the things you want to create a visual wishlist

🩷𓂃 ࣪˖ 27. sort through ur books, cds, clothes, etc.; organise and throw out!

🐇𓂃 ࣪˖ 28. perform a concert in ur bedroom of ur fav album ever

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 29. dress up and create the most elaborate, unhinged outfits you possibly can

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 30. start a blog or site on something you care about

🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 31. contemplate ur core philosophies and question what is the meaning of life and what you're living for

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 32. spend all day reading a random pdf book ur never gonna find again

⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ 33. plan out ur dream wedding online

💬𓂃 ࣪˖ 34. fully examine ur body and make sure everything's working and looking fine

🩷𓂃 ࣪˖ 35. create outfits within a specific theme and try them on

🐇𓂃 ࣪˖ 36. go online shopping for clothes and make outfits w the things you find even if you don't like them

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 37. make a playlist of all the songs u used to love when you were younger

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 38. build a tower out of stationery or anything you can find and make it as tall as you can

🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 39. take a picture of something ur grateful for wherever you go

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 40. live out ur daydreams on pinterest and make random boards of random lifestyles or dreams you have or are interested in

⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ 41. organise ur digital storage like apps, google drive, documents, photos, desktop, games, consoles, etc.

💬𓂃 ࣪˖ 42. randomly set a reminder for somewhen in the future that you can think of saying that everything will be okay

🩷𓂃 ࣪˖ 43. have a park day without ur phone and make ur own entertainment

🐇𓂃 ࣪˖ 44. find ur enneagram number, do ur myers briggs test, study ur birth chart, find out more about urself bcuz ur the most important subject you could ever study

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 45. write down ur biggest, wildest dreams with no bounds whatsoever

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 46. attentively track ur moods for a day or a few; take note of how ur feeling every few hours, note it down and ask urself what impacts it to change and fluctuate

🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ 47. educate urself in whats going on in the world right now

🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 48. learn about the history of ur home town

⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ 49. create a list of all ur favourite things and rank them like cosmetics, perfumes, bands, foods, drinks, etc.

💬𓂃 ࣪˖ 50. make a music video playlist to play on ur tv

all my love... 💬🎀🫶🏻💗

[vashtijoy]

why everybody is wrong about the unlock date for akechi's rank 6 (and why it matters)

So It Is Known that Akechi's rank 6 unlocks on 9/3, right? That's the first day he'll show up in Leblanc to go to the bathhouse and tell you about his sad backstory (again). That is his unlock date. R...ight?

Game says no.

This is the function that (usually) tests Akechi's rank 6 time lock, SUB_COOP_TIME_[L]OCK6(). What does it do? It sets a bit, 0x1 831, if we fail the check. Which we will unfailingly do on every single day within a specified date range. And what is that range?

That range is between 4/1 and 8/28.

Read that again. Not 9/2, the day before 9/3. 8/28.

The same 8/28 we all know and love for, uh, some reasons:

That's right. The reason Akechi's confidant is locked until 9/3, the reason he has not one but two "let me tell you about my backstory" events inside of a week, is that one triggers the other.

Akechi shows up at Leblanc on 8/28. He finds a listening ear, and a shoulder to cry on—because, remember, we're smack in the middle of Akechi Hate Month:

This kid, who is so desperate for attention and approval that he's become a mass-murderer over it, is now in the middle of a public hate storm. And on 8/28, you listen to him. You make him welcome. You accept him for who he is—at least, for a little part of who he is.

And so he comes back less than a week later. On 9/3.

if he unlocks on 8/29, why 9/3?

Akechi's availability is often quite limited. Between 8/28 and 9/3, he's only available on one day, 8/30—though if you're already at rank 5, you can't do anything with him then.

Why doesn't he come to Leblanc on 8/30?

The Leblanc field (areas in P5 are technically known as fields) calls a very long, very unedifying function called NPC_FLAG_SELECTOR(), to see which NPCs it should load when. In short? It does this by testing the day of the week.

GET_DAYOFWEEK() returns a number between 0 (Sunday) and 6 (Saturday). So, because Akechi will only come to Leblanc if GET_DAYOFWEEK() returns 6, Akechi will only ever come to Leblanc on Saturdays.

And the first Saturday after 8/29? It is, of course, 9/3.

why does this matter?

Does this change anything? In practical terms, no. Akechi is still always going to be inaccessible for rank 6 until 9/3. But does it confirm anything about him? Well, yeah.

Akechi's rank 7 unlock really is on 11/2, the morning he tells you "I was working last night, so I'm tired today"—that time lock terminates on 11/1. His skill checks (Knowledge and Charm) are all exactly what you think. He even has a hidden lock for rank 8 (still called a time lock by the code) which verifies that he's currently a team member and won't let you proceed otherwise; that, too, acts exactly as you'd expect.

It's rank 6 which turns out to have this secret, to truly be as closely connected to 8/28 as it always appeared. Akechi comes to Leblanc in his hour of need, and he finds something—and then, the next day, he wants more.

And so he comes back—the very next evening he can get away to spend time in Yongen-jaya.

(Incidentally, I'm pretty sure Akechi lives in Kichijoji, and this kind of backs that up. It's the sort of super-trendy place he'd make a show of liking, and in fairness, he clearly does like it. He can only come to Yongen on Saturday nights because it's a lot of travel, close to an hour each way in the early evenings. But Kichijoji? He can hang out there far more often—because it's right on his doorstep.)

revision history

Click here for the latest version.

v1.0 (2023/12/26)—first posted.

[a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all]

Burning Love

AI-Less Whumptober 2024: Day 26. Burning Fandom: MCU, Bucky Barnes, Winter Soldier, f!reader Summary: When you and Bucky are captured, HYDRA scientists try to force you to use your powers to kill him. But you refuse to hurt the man you love, regardless of how much pain it may cause you... Word Count: 2171 TW: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Whump, Burning, Torture, Self-Sacrifice, Self-Inflicted Wounds, Laser Beams, Damaged Vision, Bucky Carries Reader, Happy Ending Notes: Thank you to @ohtobeleah for looking this over for me 💞 Part of @ailesswhumptober's event

“Doll, please, open your eyes.” The desperation in Bucky’s voice as he pleads with you breaks your heart, but it’s better than the alternative if you comply with his wishes.

You twitch your head as much as the leather restraint across your forehead will allow, your eyes squeezed tightly shut. Through gritted teeth, you grunt, “Not gonna happen, Sarge.”

The pain coursing through you is horrible, but knowing what it would do to Bucky if you gave in is enough to make it bearable—somewhat. Unlike his body, yours is more equipped to handle the damage caused by the laser beams you can shoot from your eyes. While it has taken maybe an hour to get to this point—where your eyelids and surrounding skin are charred, bubbly, and blackened like a flamed-broiled marshmallow—you would have cut through Bucky’s flesh in seconds. Which is why you are fighting so hard to protect him from your open eyes. 

“Turn it off,” a frustrated voice growls behind you. “We'll have to try something else.”

The searing sensation in your eyes disappears and you shift against the numerous restraints holding you into the metal chair. It feels so violating to have these HYDRA scientists hooking you up to their machinery, digging through your brain, and activating your beams as they see fit. You wonder if this is how Bucky used to feel back when he was the Winter Soldier.

As the scientists fiddle with the equipment behind you, you hear a tender voice call out to you. “Are you okay?”

“Right as rain,” you mumble. “How you doing, Buck?” The last thing you saw before you began forcing yourself to keep your eyes closed was Bucky being strapped into his own chair directly across from you.

“Horrible. Watching you barbeque yourself just to spare me…Doll, you can’t keep doing this. You won’t survive it much longer.”

You gave him a wry chuckle. “I’ve been accidentally burning myself with these things my entire life. I can take it.”

“For how long?” You don’t answer. “Please, look at me. I need to see you’re okay behind all of this.”

As much as you want nothing more in this world than to stare into Bucky’s loving gaze one last time, it’s not worth the potential cost. “I can’t. They could turn them back on at any second and…I can’t risk it.” 

“I’m not worth all the pain they’re putting you through. I don’t deserve this kind of sacrifice—not after everything I’ve done.”

Smiling in his direction, you whisper, “When will you stop blaming yourself for what they made you into and see the man you truly are? The man I love.”

It sounds like Bucky is about to say something else but, before he can, an angry voice from behind you barks out, “I’m tired of this game. Increase the power.”

Bucky screams, “No!”

Suddenly, the pain behind your eyes increases exponentially and the pressure within your head becomes unbareable. An inhuman screech is ripped from your lips. Something in your vocal cords snaps under the strain. You smell the faint whiff of burning hair mixed in with your cooking flesh and wonder if the last of your eyelashes have finally been seared off. Your bare toes scrap against the cold concrete as they involuntarily curl as all the muscles in your body contract. Every other part of your body is restrained by the straps holding you down, but you begin violently shaking as the tension within you becomes too great.

The small part of your mind that’s still coherent wonders if your eyes roll back into your head if you’ll fry your brain and end this torture. Maybe it is worth it to try.

You have no idea how long they keep your beams on this time—all your remaining focus and energy is on keeping your eyes closed. Bucky is screaming, crying, begging, but his voice sounds echoey and far away so you can’t make out his words. You aren’t sure what HYDRA will do to him once you’re gone, but you pray he fights them with everything he has.

Finally, the machine behind you is flipped off and your body sags against your restraints. Without them, you know you’d topple to the floor, no longer possessing the energy to hold yourself up. Everything hurts now, not just your eyes. But you’re still alive which means you aren’t done fighting.

You hear footsteps approaching and you recognize the voice of the man in charge as he curses, kicking one of the legs of your chair. “This is ridiculous. How many of you fucking idiots does it take to make her kill the Soldier? Just pry her eyes open, clamp them in place, and turn the machine back on.”

You grin weakly, feeling blood dripping down your chin where you had bit your tongue. With your ruined voice, you croak, “You can try, but the second any of you put a finger near my eyes, I’m burning it off.” 

The man beside you yanks on the restraint across your forehead, tightening it to the point you feel bones crack. You let out a soft whimper as the man growls, “Fine. We’ll turn it up to full power and leave it on. Let her burn completely through her eyelids. Then we’ll get the results we want.” You hear him turn and march away.

For the first time, your resolve wavers as a small sob bubbles up in your chest. Your body may be resistant to your beams and can repair wounds sustained from them, but it takes time. If these scientists can make you burn through your eyelids—and based on how everything is starting to look a little brighter through your closed lids, it seems like a very real possibility—then there is nothing you can do to stop them from hitting and killing Bucky. 

You hear the scientists murmuring and fiddling with equipment somewhere far behind you, but you still don’t dare open your eyes in case someone is still at the machine and flips it on the moment you look at Bucky. Yet it won’t matter for much longer if they carry out their plan. 

“Doll…” The word is whispered so low you can barely hear it.

“Buck…,” It’s hard to whisper with your ruined voice, the sound more of a croak than a real word. But you hope he can understand you with his super-soldier hearing. “I’m sorry. I-I can’t stop this.”

“I know. You’ve done so good so far.” Even in a whisper, the love in his voice feels like a comforting embrace. “But I have a plan. You just gotta trust me.” 

“I do. You know I do.” 

“Then when I tell you to open your eyes and turn on your beams, whether they’re making you or not.”

You sob, “But Bucky—”

“Trust me!” he hisses. 

“Okay…okay, I’ll do it.”

He lets out a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Doll. Whatever happens, I love you. And this isn’t your fault.”

A single tear escapes your ruined eyes and rolls down your scared cheek. “I love you too. But we both know, it is.”

Bucky doesn’t respond. However, you can hear a soft scraping and shuffling from his vicinity. Maybe he found a way to escape. Or maybe…he couldn’t be asking you to kill him. After all the pain and suffering you’d put yourself through to keep him alive, he wouldn’t have you take him out now just to end both of your pain…would he?

But you promised to trust him and you do, so when you hear him mutter, “All the way down and to the right. Now!”, you follow his instructions.

Shifting your gaze behind closed lids as far to the right and downward as they’ll go, you open your eyes and blast without a second's hesitation. 

Your beams strike Bucky in the center of his left forearm, just a few inches above his wrist. Even though it is his metal arm, you are horrified. You thought he had found a way to get you to blast open his cuffs or melt his chair, and in a way, even killing him instantly would be better than this. His vibranium arm is advanced enough that it still allows him to feel sensations such as texture, pressure, and—what concerns you in this situation—temperature and even pain. Instead of ending his life with one blast, you are now forcing him to endure the same agony you have been going through. 

As the metal begins to glow under the intense heat of your beams, you want to screw your eyes shut once more. But Bucky told you to do this and you promised to trust him. Even though he is grunting and panting because of the pain, he isn’t telling you to stop so you keep your beams focused on his arm. 

Eventually, the red-hot glow expands and soon reaches his wrist. In moments, the metal restraint liquifies and Bucky wrenches his arm free. Without having to be told, you slam your eyes shut once more.

You can hear the sounds of fighting all around you: guns firing until their clips run empty, flesh sizzling against metal followed by screams of agony, bodies being flung around the room and crashing to the floor. 

But then everything goes silent.

For a minute, nothing happens. You are just about to call out when a pair of lips press lightly against yours. Jumping slightly, you quickly recognize the kiss. You try to lean into it but the strap across your forehead holds you firmly in place. 

Parting from your lips and pressing his forehead against yours, Bucky whispers, “It’s okay. You can open your eyes now. It’s just you and me.”

Slowly, you peel your eyes open. The world is cloudy and out of focus with huge black spots obstructing your vision. And yet, there was no mistaking the person kneeling in front of you. 

Weakly, you smile. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he murmurs back.

“H-how bad?”

Bucky’s brow furrows as he runs his thumb gently around the edge of your eye socket, the now cooled metal somewhat soothing against your damaged skin. “It’s really bad, but I’m hoping it’s worse than it looks. Once you get checked out—”

“Not me,” you whisper. “How badly did I hurt you?”

You can hear the smile in his voice even though you can’t make it out. “I’ve had a lot worse. And it’s because of you that it was as minimal as it was. You should’ve just vaporized my head from the very start.” 

“Nah. I knew we’d find a way out eventually.”

“Liar,” he teases. Then, with a more serious tone, he asks, “How’s your vision? You’re blinking an awful lot and that can’t be comfortable.”

You try to think of how to describe what you are seeing. “I can see some shapes, colors, movements…that’s about it. No details. But even that’s a miracle at this point. I’ve never burned myself this badly before.”

“Will they…will they heal?”

You try to shrug but you are still strapped to the chair. “They should. They always have before. Healing the burns is tied into my powers.” You swallow and flinch at the sharp stab of pain cutting down your throat. “My voice, however, might be another story.”

Bucky gently runs his fingers down the side of your neck. “I’m sure SHIELD has some specialists who can help you. But first, we’ve got to get back to them. So let’s get you out of that chair.”

He began unlocking each of your restraints and you can’t stop a moan from escaping. Your skin had been rubbed raw where the metal dug into your skin, and your muscles ache from how tensely they had been clenched in pain. Bucky must have noticed this, because as he undoes each strap, he massages the area, loosening up the muscles enough to ease some of the tension. But every inch of you still throbs in pain. 

As Bucky unlatches the last restraint, he asks, “Do you think you can walk?”

“I’m not sure. Everything hurts. But maybe once I get going—” You try to rise from the seat but barely make any progress before collapsing back down. You look up at Bucky sheepishly. “I guess that’s a no.”

Carefully, he lifts you into his arms and carries you towards the exit. You can’t see where you’re going and the slight bobbing of your vision as he walks is giving you a headache. 

Leaning your head against his chest, you let your damaged eyes drift softly closed. Then you mutter, “I think I need to sleep for a bit. Helps my recovery time.”

You feel Bucky’s lips brush against your temple. “Rest, Doll. I’ll take it from here.”

Nodding softly, you begin slipping into a deep slumber. You are still in a lot of pain, but you don’t regret a single moment of what happened. You’d do it all again if at the end you could be safe in Bucky’s arms once more.

[pepperbloom]

please help my friend Mohammed

hey tumblr! i haven't posted here consistently in a long time, but i'm pretty involved with a couple fundraisers for Palestinian families, and i've heard this is a good place to share them.

so, today i want to tell you about my friend, Mohammed Abdelgawad. his insta is @ s.mohammed_20.

i am in the process of adopting his fundraiser from the current owner, Emma.

Mohammed is only 20 years old, but he has already endured more grief than anyone should ever bear. he used to be a university student. he used to be an incredible defensive soccer player. he used to be passionate about design, art, and video games, like me. he is so kind, so gentle, and so open. in the few weeks since we've started talking, i've shared the story of my transition with him, he's shared his favorite love songs with me, and we've commiserated about photoshop together.

but instead of playing football, or acing his university courses, Mohammed spends his days hungry and afraid, posting videos of his martyred loved ones to instagram, and praying for donations.

Mohammed and i message on instagram and whatsapp every day. he has shared uncensored pictures of his martyred cousins and family with me, and footage he has not posted to social media.

as we talked today, 8/26/24, a missile fell by the building where he is staying, martyring multiple children nearby. this attack was corroborated by my other friends in Gaza as it was actively happening. less than an hour later, Mohammed received the news that another close friend of his was martyred.

all of this is to say, Mohammed is a real guy, and he really, really needs the help.

if you're not hurting for cash, could you please donate to help evacuate Mohammed? he's responsible for evacuating only a portion of his family, and has a very modest goal of $15,000. 🚨🚨 as i write this, he has only reached $674 of his goal. 🚨🚨

here is Mohammed's fundraiser link. https://www.gofundme.com/f/aid-mohammed-family-amidst-gaza-devastation

if you have a roof over your head, food in your fridge, and money in the bank, please, please, give generously. thank you. <3 <3 <3