#my friends are doll people and they are obsessed with monster high

[youreonyourown-kid]

I’m not a doll person generally or a monster high person specifically but one of the dolls comes with tiny d20s and a little D&D set up and I want her so bad

[kangmoon27]

-MASTERLIST- DARK ONESHOTS

Pairing: Jungkook x fem reader

Hello beautiful people!! In this way you can easily check out my fanfictions.

You can also check out my Wattpad account for more yandere ff and series!!

Wattpad account: @kangmoon27

YouTube account: 정국 Jung kookie 2

Instagram account: @vantaefiction

•Royal au•

Royal affair

Pairing: villager Jungkook x Queen Y/n

Summary: You're a married woman. You're a queen who's married to the king but you're in love with a village who eventually asked to marry your younger sister.

Lick Frick

Pairing: Manipulative King Jungkook x Married villager Y/n

Summary: When your husband use you to get his position higher by giving you to the King who's overly obsessed with you.

Love Potion

Pairing: Villager/witch Jungkook x Princess Y/n

Summary: You went to the woods and meet the monster that everyone talks about. The man who have a burned half of his face. Did you fell for him or it's just the love Potion?

Under his control

Pairing: yandere/Manipulative King Jungkook x Queen Y/n

Summary: when the king is so obsessed to his wife. The queen.

King's Slave

Pairing: yandere king Jungkook x servant Y/n (witch?)

Summary: when the king asked you if your best friend will make a great queen but instead you told him that you can be better than her.

King's Doll

Pairing: Yandere king Jungkook x Doll Yn.

Summary: When the king is obsessed with his sister's doll and secretly stole it from her to turn in into a human in exchange of his wife.

Unwanted

Pairing: King/brother Jungkook × slave/older sister YN.

Summary: In past life he's your lover but what will happen if at the present time he became your brother. Will you still be able to love him?

Chaos Disaster

Pairing: King-obsessed Jungkook x Princess Y/n [Royal Au,]

Summary: You meant no harm to anyone but with you not being by the king's side is a threat to everyone, chaos disaster will happen cause the king Is out there ready to throw kn'fe in everyone's throat without you by his side.

•Others•

Curvy wavy

Pairing: Obsessed Jungkook x Y/n

Summary: when Jungkook always love watching everything you do. When you take a bath, dressing up, undressing. Everything.

Saleslady (sell my body)

Pairing: Possessive Jungkook x Saleslady Y/n

Summary: At that night you're only meant to please his father but turn out you end up pleasuring him instead

Little Mind

Pairing: Manipulative/obsessed Jungkook x Y/n

Summary: You're a waiter on a luxurious restaurant and that night you're only meant to serve their meal but end up making their mentally ill son obsessed with you.

Memory lost

Pairing: Manipulative yandere racer Jungkook x runaway bride Y/n

Summary: When you got hit by a car and the guy who hit you intently fell for you and keep you as his wife after finding out you lost your memories.

Foolish Action

Pairing: twins Jeon x Arrogant Jungkook x Yandere Obsessed Jungguk x Yandere Y/n

Summary: When you though you're having a forbidden affair with you step brother Jungkook but turned out it was Jungguk.

My dirty little secret

Pairing: Nerdy yandere Jungkook x bully possessive Y/n

Summary: Everyone has their dirty little secret it just happened that yours is dark one.

Call out my name

Pairing: Obsessed devil Jungkook x human Y/n

Summary: He always appears everytime you call out his name and fck you hard.

Marriage for sex

Pairing: Possessive Jungkook x Y/n

Summary: He marries you for your body while you marry him for his money.

Dirty liar

Pairing: Possessive Jungkook x Maid Yandere Y/n

Summary: He's married but you want him so you will do everything to have him.

Heaven and Back

Pairing: Possessive Jungkook x stripper Y/n

Summary: she's high, she's in the sky tonight she's satisfied, rolling back her eyes.

Bed warmer

Pairing: Possessive Jungkook x stripper Y/n

Summary: you're his bed warmer. You're supposed to be warming his bed every single night.

Sinful Touch

Pairing: manipulative yandere Jungkook x Nun Y/n

Summary: He manipulates you. He knows how to make you feel week. He call you a sinner while he's truly the one

Devil's Meal

Pairing: demon king Jungkook x incubus Y/n

Summary: you're his favorite meal that he always keep coming back to you and taste you after tasting others.

Mine to fck, my to ruined

Pairing: Mafia Jungkook x babygirl Y/n

Summary: He's the boss and you have to do everything he says. Sugar daddyxbabygirl.

Make me feel good

Pairing: student Jungkook x Teacher Y/n.

Summary: When your student is obsessed with you and often sneak in to your house and watch you take a bath and more.

D'e for you, k'll for you

Pairing: Yandere Jungkook x Bully Y/n.

Summary: When you made him confess to you and rejected him Infront of everyone just to embarrass him not knowing he would do anything and everything for you.

Chain On my neck

Pairing: Married Jungkook x Stripper Y/n.

Summary: You're not meant to fall for him cause he's married and to avoid that you accept the marriage proposal for someone not knowing he's actually Jungkook's cousin.

Not right but feels right

Pairing: Ex Jungkook x Married Y/n

Summary: When you have to do it with your ex just to save your husband's company.

Marriage for s'x

Pairing: Cold husband Jungkook x wifey Y/n.

Summary: He marry you for your body while you marry him for his money

Period cramps

Pairing: Gangster Jungkook x gf Y/n.

Summary: They said s'x is the best way to reduce period cramps.

Ride me while I drive

Pairing: Mafia Jungkook x Yn.

Summary: he's mad. So mad that he asked you to ride him while he drives.

Brother in law

Pairing: Brother in law Jungkook x Married Y/n.

Summary: As soon as your husband left to work a strong arms wrapped around your waist and started kissing your neck. You knew it is your brother in law

Noona

Pairing: Half brother Jungkook x Older sister Y/n.

Summary: You both have the same mother but different fathers but is it possible for both of you to have affair?. Yes it is cause it already happened.

Right now with you

Pairing: Jungkook x Y/n

Summary: He wants you right now before he even wakes up.

Cruel beast

Pairing: idol yandere Jungkook x Idol Y/n

Summary: He will do everything and anything just to be able to wrap his arms around you again. Everything.

The boy

Pairing: Bhrams Yandere Jungkook x babysitter Y/n

Summary: they paid you a huge amount of money just to babysit their son who turned out to be a doll named kookie not knowing the real kookie is actually all grown up and living behind the walls where he always watches you.

Womanizer

Pairing: Womanizer Phycho Fboy Jungkook x Yn

Summary: He's known for being a womanizer who always go around with different girls and apparently you became one of those girls that he only see as one nightstand.

Territorial

Pairing: yandere Jungkook x Yandere Yn

Summary: you're just a high schooler who fell in love with a gangster like him. Is it wrong? Is it wrong to be territorial just to make sure you will be able to keep him all for yourself?.

Sinful Puzzle

Pairing: Young master!richJungkook x maid Yn

Summary: You used to have an affair with your young master who left to study abroad and promise to marry you once he came back but he came back with someone who he introduced as his fiance and eventually asked you to give birth to his child cause his fiance couldn't give him.

Control You

Pairing: Supreme leader/cult yandere possessive Jungkook x force wife Yn.

Summary: Growing up it was never in his wanting to be the leader of a cult but if it means he could have you and control you then he's up with it.

And To Be Convicted

Pairing: Badboy! Manipulative Jungkook x Y/n

Summary: you knew how dangerous he is, you know how bad he is and how he's the biggest walking red flag but you blinded yourself for your love for him.

Can't Change

Pairing: Gangster Jungkook x Y/n

Summary: You tried to change your gangster boyfriend so that your parents can accept him but soon you realized you just couldn't.

Bestie's Father

Pairing: Father Jungkook x Jungkook's daughter's best friend Y/n

Summary: It just happened that you find yourself liking your friends father and fucking him begin your best friend's back.

Still Mine

Pairing: Ex Jungkook x Married Y/N

Summary: He knew you're still he's, even after your break up, even after your marriage. You're still his. But he wanted you to pay for what you did so he came after your daughter.

[red-tomato-sauce]

Tagged by @momonica05 and @skywayoctane !!!

list 5 topics you can talk about for an hour without prepping any material

How roboky went from a joke character to the best guilty gear character, why he's literally me, why him and venom were BORN to be friends and why i think gg strive NEEDS him in the roster.

Why i am obsessed with john cena along with fun facts about him. I already made my friends listen to me talking about him for more than a hour btw (sorry ayla), and that was BEFORE the oscars.

Monster high dolls, i've been in this collecting bullshit since i was 7. By that i mean actually watching reviews in other languages i coudn't understand yet, checking out the prettiest dolls to show to my aunt that lives in the united states so she could buy them for me since it would be cheaper that way, i'd wait months for them to arrive. My most recently aquired possesion was the jack and sally skullector dolls.

The entire apocalipse saga from the turma da monica jovem manga. You've seen those archie comics with a more realistic comic book artsyle right? Yeah a similar thing happened in brazil with the most famous brazillian comic series of all time, it got a manga version instead tho. I am a proud owner of all the first 110 chapters.

Jibaku shounen hanako kun. Like, in general. The artstyle, the protagonist, the worldbuilding, how yashiro and hanako are a lovely pair, the way the minamoto family dynamics are written, how aoi is literally me, whatever the fuck kou and mitsuba have going on, the list goes on.

Lists of damage that toxic chemicals like lead, mercury, cadmium and arsenic can cause on the human body. The reason i don't need to prepare any material is because wverything is already prepared

Teenage mutant ninja turtles, i've been in love with the tmnt franchise since i was a little kid with my tmnt backpack. I have at least a little something to say about most versions, and there are lots of them. The rant about why micheal bay's version is actually peak would last a decent portion of the time limit i think

Shiori experience, it's one of my favorite mangas rn and i could go on forever about it. The story, the protagonist, the characters, FUCKING JIMI HENDRIX, the artstyle, the movement on each panel, the fact that somehow they managed to draw MUSIC in a way that makes you almost hear it by just looking at the panels without even writing out the lyrics for you.

That was more than six actually my bad. You're supposed to tag people to do the same right? It's been months since i've been tagged and i can't remember teehee~ @aygaaazef1r0 @amndrkwe @belateeegfya14 start writting chop chop

[ninetiescoppola]

BUT... I'M JUST A GIRL!

Last week I was switching TV channels and saw a doll commercial. I couldn’t help but wonder when was the last time that we decided if we were a Barbie, Monster High or Polly Pocket kind of person? I remember that thirteen years ago I was having a very serious discussion with my friend group about our roles in society. When I say “roles” I mean which Powerpuff Girls character we would be. 

I don’t know if it’s just me, but I feel that I’m slowly changing. Everyone I see and know seems to turn eighteen and immediately buy a penthouse and get a BMW. I might have changed physically, but my head still works like it did when I was fourteen (or sort of): still into gossip, boy bands (r.i.p), pop music, fake scenarios and obsessed with old movie franchises and celebrity crushes (please, remind me to send a thanks card to Mads Mikkelsen parents for his existence). In summary I’m a teenager with a huge Visa bill and back pain!

When I was ten, I watched a movie that completely changed my mind, something that brightened my head like an angel’s voice whispering in the ear of the most desperate soul, an absolute cinema kind of movie: Devil Wears Prada. Since I saw Anne Hathaway walking in the streets of New York with Vogue playing in the background, I knew what I wanted to do for life. It was like a message from the universe. For years I kept dreaming about graduating from a good college, working as a columnist on a big magazine and walking around wearing Prada shoes. But then, the Titanic hit the iceberg: my parents and I moved to a very small city, at least two hours away from everything. No college, no magazine, no Prada, no nada.

The funniest thing about reality checks is that even if it's been years, you’ll still be in shock, like me. I've been living in this shitty city for almost eight years and I still can’t believe that my parents did this to me. No warning or anything. I can’t blame them, after all they’re in their fifties, they deserve a calm life, but c’mon… I’m in my best era! So many hopes, dreams and youth… That’s what I thought.

While I was in high school, I still had this last light of hope in my heart that I would take the first bus to my home city when I graduated and live my life as I planned. Never happened. After moving to this living hell, my life was never the same. I just f-ing hate this place so much. I’m still trying to find out if it’s because of the place itself or if the people here really bothers me. I felt that I became a person with no joy, and that made me uninterested in everything else and very depressed. No more thoughts about my goals or anything. I just put all my emotions on ice and got a very sad/stressful job.

A few months ago I was very curious about a website with old girl games, so I took a look and there it was: makeovers, hairdressing, dressing, makeup, kiss and hide, house and wedding decorating and all a girl could imagine to fill her inner child spirit. I felt my whole body shrink and my eyes get the same size as my fist. It was love at first sight. I started to play every single one of them and it wasn’t the same feeling, something has changed. I asked myself if the sparkle was lost and became just a sad nostalgia or if I was such a terrible person with no love inside. And then I realized that it was official: I’m a grownup. But not just a simple grownup, a responsible, tired, sleepy, horny, with severe body dysmorphia, mood swings and a very questionable taste in men, kind of grownup. And I’m just twenty two. 

Don’t get me wrong, being an adult is lovely, especially the part of the payday. But if I could turn back time, I would. Ten years ago I was deciding which One Direction member I would like to marry. Now I have to get a job, pay taxes, bills and insurance. Actually, the only good part of it, it’s the money (if there’s any left).

[fizzyizzysworld]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers

5 rhings that make me happy:

5. playing the sims! its my autism game

4. animals! i love animals of all kinds so much. i have an especially soft spot for chihuahuas and blobfish

3. hanging out with my friends! mainly @entershadows @dualaspect @cl0wn-1nfern0 and @downertimer

2. monster high dolls, ive been obsessed with them since gen 1 came out when i was a kid. i have a collection lol.

1. spending time with my bf @azazelurgod however we can! we live pretty far apart currently so most of the time us hanging out takes place in vr chat lol

[ornaciashinoda]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers! (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

No pressure ofc <3

dolls (particularly monster high ones... im obsessed), spending time w friends, drawing, anything with chocolate in it and doing my makeup.

[namikiheights]

hey, asker of the web / light novel differences that was passed over to u the other day, thank u for all the things u brought up. i am curious to hear more about kiritos violence in particular bc that aspect always felt like it was missing smth which definitely checks with the information u gave. his dream sequence and battle w internalized guilt has always interested me but again it just felt like it wasnt quite all there. im also very curious about kyouji and since that seems to be ur area id love to hear u expand. i havent gotten to the phantom bullet lns cos im trying to catch up on progressive first and im a slow reader but the way hes portrayed in the anime just felt so ,,poorly written and overall bad?? like he just completely did a 180 and it never rlly made sense to me, i just assumed his character would be more coherent in the ln and they cut it out of the anime for time or whatever.

Thank you for sending the original ask, and thank you for sending this one!

The other violent thing about web novel Kirito IMO is specifically HOW he killed the Laughing Coffin members in the raid. In the web novel, he mentions that he had sort of… lost grip of what he was doing? I guess? And got really into the fight, thus actually slicing a Laughing Coffin member’s head clean off (not a stance or slash you would take or do if you were only fighting in self defense). He does say his anger and vengeance took over in the light novel, but I think the decapitation in the web novel came from another place in his heart. Perhaps the same place that led him to beat up and steal from his beta tester friend in-game.

As for Kyouji! This boy has gone through so much, changes wise. And, as a Kyouji stan, it is my duty to not hide the monster he used to be.

TW: Mentions of sexual assault, discussion of suicidal characters, suicide attempts, and suicide as a religious and literary trope

The easiest way to put it is this:

For the most part, both Kyoujis are the same. They are nerdy and runty, something that got them bullied. That led them to dropping out of high school, so they are angry of those who seem to have it better. This leads them to make Death Gun, something that both backs them into a corner and yet also gives them an opportunity to attempt shinjuu with Shino (will elaborate what this means later). Now to contrast them a little.

Web novel Kyouji:

-Mocks Sinon when she makes mistakes (laughs in her face)

-Seems to think of Shino as a doll (or, at the very least, gives Shino the idea that he thinks this way of her)

-Is so obsessed with Shino he refuses to talk about her to anyone else because that is how sacred she is to him (that he doesn’t even want her name in other peoples’ mouths!)

-Is partially sexually motivated (remember the scene where he lightly touches a picture of Sinon on his computer? In the web novel, he, uh… does the nasty to it)

-Actually killed someone (he didn’t just play the part of Death Gun in the game)

-Doesn’t feel remorse for doing so

Light novel Kyouji:

-None of that lol 😭

This is what I mean by just a few cut sentences can change a character entirely! Without him being aggressive and ruthless and misogynist and this possessive, he ends up being a good friend who is just a bit whiny sometimes. The removal of his sexuality also makes it so that his motives are entirely religious. It’s still wrong for him to force that on Shino, but I think there is a difference between a delusional boy who doesn’t realize what he’s actually doing and thinks he can save both himself and this girl he cherishes who actively thinks she’s going to Hell… and an asshole boy who is very much attracted to this girl and is using this as an opportunity to force himself on her (which he nearly does, Shino is almost entirely naked by the end of the web novel’s iteration of the scene, but she fights back and then Kirito saves the day).

Wait, hold on! Religious motivation?

Here comes the part where I explain what shinjuu is. Shinjuu means lover’s suicide, in which a couple take their own life together. The religious component is that shinjuu is specifically a Buddhist practice and, within that, a free ticket to Heaven.

Hold on! But Kyouji and Shino aren’t a couple!

They may not be, but they like each other. This is certain in the light novel, and sort of there in the web novel. Shino thinks to herself that she does like Kyouji and want to date him, but simply thinks her trauma would cause too many problems in their relationship. Kyouji knows this and accepts it.

But also probably gives him the idea that this shinjuu thing could actually work.

In Kyouji’s mind, and partially Shino’s, the two of them are fellow tormented souls (Shino with her PTSD, Kyouji just not wanting to be here anymore). With the added layer of Shino thinking she’s going to Hell for having killed someone (real line in the light novel!), shinjuu sounds perfect! And with the religious belief that there’s something after death as well as Kyouji’s own delusional mental state, the gravity of death disappears.

Okay, this sounds plausible. But the word shinjuu is only ever used in the Sachi side story! How do you know this is the intended reading of the murder suicide attempt scene?

Some more context on shinjuu now. It’s actually a trope, having its own subgenre known as shinjuumono (“love suicide story”). It was popularized in theater in the 1700s, when playwright Chikamatsu Monzaemon wrote Sonezaki Shinjuu (The Love Suicides at Sonezaki). The format of shinjuumono is that there are two lovers (usually a merchant and a courtesan) who cannot be together (think Romeo and Juliet), so they decide the only way they can get their happy ending is in Heaven. A motif of the older theatrical shinjuumono is that they would have Buddhist chanting as part of the performance. Very religious indeed.

So, shinjuu is sort of a big deal in the creative world. It makes sense for an author who unabashedly pays tribute to his inspirations to include it. I’ve gone over how Kyouji and Shino’s story is particurly similar to Sonezaki Shinjuu in the past, so I won’t delve too much into it here. The point is that Kyouji’s murder suicide attempt is shinjuu.

Some smaller tidbits that point to that are the placement of Kyouji’s hands during the scene. He puts the syringe on Shino’s neck — not on her side like in the anime or manga, which pisses me off! — which is where the protagonist of the Sonezaki Shinjuu places his knife on his lover. Kyouji’s whole spiel about reincarnating into a better world is also Buddhist, and so is his reassurance that “I’ll carry you all into the mountains where nobody is, and then I’ll follow right after you. So wait for me once you’re there, okay?” The mountains are a place in the afterlife in Buddhism, and this sort of journey he speaks of is often poetically depicted and performed in shinjuumono classics.

But I digress. This is just me trying to make sense of what’s in Kyouji’s head as he does what he does. When it’s just this, without any sexual motives like in the web novel, it paints a more depressing tale rather than one of abuse and fear. But since the anime frames it in a more sexual way (as they always do) and ALSO cuts out Kyouji’s backstory (that he was bullied and extorted for money, that he isn’t doing well in cram school) and makes it seem like Shino never liked him…

Well, it’s almost like they reduced him to a shell of his web novel self instead of adapted his light novel self. He’s no longer a misguided boy in pain (who feels remorse for his actions, so much that he can’t speak at ALL, unlike his web novel counterpart who bragged about killing and only refused to talk about Shino), he’s a one dimensional creepazoid like all the others in the show. It’s a disservice, since the light novel went out of its way to take out the sexual assault whereas most of the other villains didn’t get theirs cut out (it almost seems like Kyouji specifically was edited that way… because they knew the character he COULD be, as opposed to the other villains who were too far gone).

And, man, I’m real sad about that! Because now my favorite character is just a meme, someone people barely remember anything about other than him screaming Shino’s name.

There’s a lot more I can say, but I think this covers a lot of it. I hope this helped you understand him more! If anyone wants to ask clarifying questions, please go ahead! I know it can be confusing to know which Kyouji I’m talking about sometimes, lol…

Thank you for reading!

[ivysangel]

I have a collection of Little Women books( it’s not even my favourite book😭😭😭) I started collecting it when I was 8 years old and since then I just buy every copy of Little Women I can find, I also collect Daredevil, Hellblazer and Major Grom comics, Monster High dolls as well as Ever After High and Bratz. I have a collection of jjk and dc figures, and I also spent a bunch of money on kpop albums back in 2018(this one is genuinely embarrassing😬😭)

no need to be embarrassed over the kpop collection, i literally have 500+ albums so i could never judge you for that. i don’t think i’ve read the little women books but i think it’s so cute that you have a collection of them. i had a collection of judy moody and dear dumb diaries books before i gave them aware a few years back, i kinda miss them.

one of my friends is OBSESSED with daredevil but i don’t know much about him, and i think i’ve heard of hellblazer too but not major grom. i have a collection of x-men comics, and i also collected young justice comics for a while bc i love them so much.

literally need to know which monster high, bratz, and ever after high dolls you have. it’s IMPERATIVE i know this information. i only ever had like one or two every after high dolls, not sure why i didn’t get more bc i was obsessed with the show. have always always always been a monster high fan, still have all of my dolls from when i was younger and a bunch of newer ones since i started collecting. i remember deciding to collect back in 2020 and buying a bunch of dolls for really good prices, and then suddenly there was a resurgence in people being into them so the prices went up like crazy. which pissed me off bc i never stopped liking them but whatever 🙄🙄🙄. i didn’t like bratz dolls growing up because they didn’t have real shoes and that pissed me off so. much. but also i was born at their peak and by the time i was old enough to start playing with dolls their downfall had already begun. always loved the movies growing up tho. all time faves are rock angelz (duh) and bratz girlz really rock

what’s in your jjk collection and which funkos do u have?? i only have a harry potter funko, the original bts funkos, and a bunch of funko minis from their holiday advent calendar (the marvel and harry potter ones but i ironically missed out on the dc one)

[ameliaashdale]

(TW: Mentions of self harm, blood, trauma, mental illness)

My Autism Saga

Episode I: Inclusion, including myself.

Inclusion.

In the 21st century, social justice has never pushed harder for inclusion and equality. The rise of social media, alongside widespread access to the unlimited knowledge harbored on the internet, has led to many becoming aware of the injustices people still face and have always faced. Common examples include how racism in the US never ended with the Civil Rights Movement or how LGBTQ+ individuals have always existed but were labeled as "just friends" or outright ERASED due to societal stereotypes (i.e. Gay men being "p3d0s.")

Equal rights are something EVERY PERSON needs and deserves. Whether they are white cishet males, darker skinned women, or nonbinary adults with disabilities of any kind. There are many kinds of disabilities: physical, developmental, intellectual... People can have more than one disability: someone with dyslexia might also need a wheelchair. Someone might be deaf and Autistic.

Autism is the focus of this month. I am autistic. I am proud, but I have not always been so open about who I am.

This is My Autism Saga.

As a child, I was always different. I couldn't kick a soccer ball or run as fast as my peers. I lacked the fine motor skills to tie my shoes until sixth grade. I was obsessed with Star Wars all throughout middle school and never wanted to stop watching The Clone Wars. I was loud and proud for being stuck in a galaxy far, far away. I loved Monster High and Metroid at the same time as Star Wars. When I got pulled out of the many worlds I loved, it was usually by force. After all, I loved to read about Colonial America while also having a love for biology and medicine. Why couldn't I stop getting upset over having to work like my peers? Why couldn't I put more effort into my appearance as a preteen, like my peers? Why could I read the same Star Wars novel, play out the same scenario with my dolls, and listen to the same CD track for HOURS on end, but not realize that I was inappropriate when I got upset over more important things?

Like being forced to work on multiplication at the same rate as my peers?

Why did the other third graders finish the minute long speed test on 8s multiplication facts while I still struggled with 3x6?

Because:

She doesn't try hard enough. She is determined to do whatever she wants to do and gets upset over being wrong. She is defiant.

She doesn't know how to make friends. She is mentally much younger than she is physically. Her interests are not appropriate and often immature.

She gets upset over trivial things because she doesn't get punished enough at home.

The adults had mostly agreed on the same things: the girl was smart. The girl was determined and could be sweet. But the girl also lacked discipline and skills like the other kids.

The solutions?

If she had forgotten her homework, she lost recess. If she tried to argue that the other students would use that to make her life miserable, she would get sent to the principal's office. If she complained about not having enough time to draw during break, she would lose the computer. If she couldn't answer the complicated multiplication question in literally three seconds, she lost points on her overall grade.

She was forced to sit next to a desk buddy who didn't like her; she was always weird in the play group they were both in (was the girl hosting the groups being forced to invite her out of pity, or was she herself stupid?)

She was forced to sit the back of the class in fourth grade: beyond the last row, close enough to the door to feel the cold draft. Close enough to be dragged out in a straight jacket, thrown in the back of an ambulance, and shuttled to the nut hospital if she ever snapped and showed her true colors.

In kindergarten, the teacher told the girl's mother flat out: "She is the spawn of the devil. She can not sit still. She wants to play with toys all day. She bangs her head on the floor until she bleeds from the mouth because she cannot adapt."

Eventually, she did just that. She realized how weird and stupid she was; how she had wasted her youth being obnoxious and now lacked the proper social and academic skills to success.

All it took? Constant physical assault from the boys in fifth grade; hoisting her arms up and pointing out the sweat stains, alongside her yellow teeth and "moldy" knees. The frequent looks and vibes of disappointment and frustration her teachers , mother, and grandmother shared when she had come home after another tantrum. The overwhelming, gradually growing guilt of being a disgrace to her family and herself. A full-blown psychotic breakdown in sixth grade: she falls to the floor in the classroom, hyperventilating and crying in agony. Half starved and exhausted from stress.

No one came in to help her. Students stood by, gawking at the spectacle before them. "The weird girl finally went off!/I know her from last year! She was in my class./Has she always been this loud? I thought she just cried about doing math./I thought she was pretty funny at recess, just pacing in la la land."

Teachers had heard the horror stories from her past teachers.

"She is manipulative. She hates working."

"She cries and moans. She is not physical at all. Can't even kick a kickball."

What if I lashed out at the other kids? What if I clawed their legs until they bled?

What if I scratched my wrists instead?

What if I bashed my head on the desk and bled out?

What if I kept breathing like that? What if I had a heart attack or a seizure?

What happened when I went home that day? Nothing usual. No punishment, no disappointment. Just frantic concern and a psyche evaluation in the near future.

The near future was the following Monday. I was taken to the hospital and drug tested. The next day, I was admitted to a mental rehabilitation center for the remainder of the week. It was quiet and calm. Not a nut hospital like everyone had told me.

I was diagnosed soon afterward. I was finally aware of my immediate issue: OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Brought on by the death of several loved ones over the years (two of them happening that year-- my uncle in the spring, and my great aunt right before 6th grade.) I had medication, a therapist, and two goals to work towards.

Overcome the crippling anxiety of death. Learn how to accept some things out of my control.

My OCD was finally getting addressed. I slowly became more confident because I thought I was finally pinpointing my illness. I mellowed out, I calmed down and left middle school with the intent of conquering my weird traits and past mistakes. I was no longer throwing tantrums. I was no longer obnoxious. I took pride in my appearance and performance. I was no longer a spectacle; I was invisible.

OCD left me terrified of death and losing control of my life. But now I could act normal, I could be quiet and do my work. I was normal now.

But OCD wasn't the ugly problem. It was quirky and edgy to have it.

Autism was the ugly twin. It was a mark of being stupid and gross. No one wanted to be seen as stupid or gross ; someone who couldn't talk or wash themselves. Someone who couldn't do anything but flap their hands and moan.

Autism was bad, and I was NOT the bad little girl that "she" was back then.

The girl who dreamed of being a jedi knight and who could pull a quote from EVERY Star Wars movie. The girl who loved Metroid and wanted to become a sculpted hero like Samus Aran.

The girl who never shut up and never stopped crying over schoolwork.

The girl who could read at a college level by 7th grade, who mastered Punnett Squares in 9th grade Biology, who wanted to write epic novels about a teenage girl traversing a once bright fantasy world now wracked by an ancient darkness and its demons while embracing her past mistakes with a sword in one hand and her prophecized destiny in the other.

That girl was meant for greater things.

The other girl was bad, weird, gross, stupid.

She was autistic back then, and is still autistic now.

She is me. This is our saga.

On Next Episode of My Autism Saga:

Amelia delves deeper into her strengths while being countered with drawbacks.

[sandwichfordinner]

I always stare at these match-up requests because I'm too self-conscious and shy to ask... But I'm taking risks today!

So, as for personality you can see that I'm a bit anxious but I try to fight it! I think I am quiet because I don't wish to disturb people, but I get loud easily and when I am way too comfortable I have no shame, I can gladly admit I am obsessed with dating sim's and a coraline doll game to my friends. I think I am bubbly and laid-back, a bit of a hopeless romantic...

For bad traits, I am stubborn, too selfless sometimes, I like to pretend I am though and a "bad bitch" to feel less weak, absolutely naive and easy to manipulate, feel guilty to say "no", I just let it slide when someone let me behind...

As for appearance... I actually wish to describe my sona rather than myself irl XD. 4'11 tall, short and messy jet black hair, freckles on her face, she has dermatillomania scars, specially on her arms, her eyes are black with purple undertones and her clothing style can be varying a lot, sometimes over feminine cute and extravagant clothing and sometimes masculine simple punk clothes.

Interests... Silly games like transformice, animals (really, I want to be a zoologist and a artist when I grow up), drawing, pretty invested in school, I like psychological horror games, I crave pizza, Monster High and Ever after high>>>>, I like cartoons in general. I LOOOOOOVE every musical genre ever, from weird shit like lemon demon or jack stauber to fucking classical music.

Now... I have OCD and PTSD, so I absolutely hate violence and controlling people, they make me feel so anxious and small... I really would prefer to be matched with someone who could patient with me and not judge me for being more of a softie and affectionate :,)

Also, I'm a latina :D, brazilian specifically.

Btw sorry for being long and sorry if I sended something wrong in the ask. I hope it won't bother you too much and thanks for taking it <3

I’m sorry to say this anon but match ups are closed atm :’(

[novainthevoid]

An good I was worried lol. Which is funny, given my initial reaction was surprise at you saying Virgil only to immediate reread through the list and remember all the things I didn’t add to it. These include:

Dresses low-effort emo/grunge most days

Will only wear the color black

Favorite genres are Midwest Emo and Pop Punk (with favorite bands Fall Out Boy, Marianas Trench, and The Front Bottoms)

Obsessed with music and always has earbuds in (gave myself tinnitus from it at 18. Don’t be like nova kids). Constantly going to concerts

Only owns clothes from Spencer’s, Hot Topic, and thrifting

Always thinks things through but still known for doing chaotic/stupid things with the reasoning “fuck it, we ball”

Too ADHD to be the group mom friend, too worried to not care at all, ends up somewhere in the territory of “older sister who is concerned about you but only knows how to help by threatening violence on those who have wronged you”

Encourages everyone, including myself, to go to therapy

Has not seen the sun since they left high school marching band and is thriving

Literally diagnosed with an anxiety disorder that I’ve had since the day I was born (all my oldest memories feature anxiety)

Hisses at people when agitated/losing an argument, meows at them when comfortable/to get their attention/just to fuck with them

Indifferent around people, would die for every animal I have ever met. Practically cried the first time I got to meet my roommate’s pet rabbit and still tears up when they mention him

Sarcastic quip. Sarcastic quip. Sarcastic- oh fuck that person looks upset shit say something ask if they’re oka- Sarcastic quip on instinct

Loves creepy/distrubing things simply because they’re creepy/disturbing. Played with monster high dolls as kids. Pretended I was a vampire bc teeth looked sharp (they weren’t even my canines, two of the front ones were just crooked). Favorite number has been 13 since I was small bc it’s unlucky. Sent my friend lines from the black parade just for them to respond in kind. Carries around books on true crime both because I find them interesting and also as a defense mechanism so people won’t approach me. Owns a little puppet I bought at a Ren Faire because he was a little bird with a skull head and I love him

Those are some of the ones I thought of just now so um. Im gonna say you’re probably right lmao

reblog with two or more random facts about yourself and I'll assign you a sanders sides character :)

[eatsyourheartout]

facts about vile

her fav holiday’s halloween, you could beat her but you cannot beat her halloween costumes, you would NEVERRR catch her with a store bought costume, every costume is handmade, if there isn’t a halloween party coming up she throws one

she grew up to tim burton, stephen king, harry potter and horror media that shaped her to who she is now, she collected monster high dolls especially the vampire ones (her favorite being veronica von vamp) and her favorite bratz dolls were the bratzillaz, she had a big fascination with vampires and it grew from her favorite shows : buffy the vampire slayer & my babysitter’s a vampire, fun fact! her first nightmare was about dracula

she enjoys being chased than being in a relationship (even though deep inside that’s all she craves)

the way she acts around the people she has crushes on is 1- teasing constantly, 2- bullying them, 3- gift giving

if she had to pick a job it would be a piercer/ tattoo artist, she did most of her piercings herself except the dermals & did her siblings’s piercings

she finds drugs disgusting and would never get addicted to it but doesn’t mind trying (esp weed & lsd)

she would never get into a relationship easily, it takes her time to know if she’ll feel secure with them or not

she’s a great liar

her aura color’s purple (spiritual, creative imagination/artistic, connected to spirit guides, mystery, moody, ambition, sensitive, psychic abilities)

always has her nails done (black long stilettos)

the first thing strangers notice about her features is her sharp eyes, her beauty secret is thin arched brows to make her eyes more sharp bc this bitch got big soul eater eyes

she’s in a band called fright night and they only preform in clubs during halloween

she’s only experienced “things” with women, never with men

her signature perfume’s good girl by carolina herrera

her hair texture’s curly but she straightens the fuck out of it everyday, rarely see her in her big curls

she loovesss layering jewelry, she prefers silver or rhinestone ones

her weird quality is talking to herself even when there’s people around, either out loud or in her mind while moving her hands

her love language is physical touch & gift giving

she’s super affectionate towards her friends = sitting on their lap or kissing their cheeks, complimenting them and telling them she loves them, always gives them hugs whenever she has the chance to

hates side hugs

extremely flirty, people keep thinking she has a crush on them but that’s just how she is

stubborn brat asf

she loves eye contact

her closet is so black that it’s hard to find clothes she wants that’s why she takes so long to get ready

she can get along with anyone as long as they give the same energy back

she forgives but NEVER forgets, has insane memory

she can’t drink caffeine because of her anxiety issues but she loves the taste

she’s a horrible driver, surprisingly has a car (a black 1960s cadillac eldorado convertible) & a drivers license, the only reason she doesn’t crash is bc the car is too gorgeous

her weakness in a woman is a monroe piercing, a gap in their front teeth, curly hair & deep raspy voices, you already have her on her knees

her weakness in a man is piercings, long hair, red heads (dyed)

her handwriting is super neat and cursive, she has this weird obsession with stationary stuff (she gets excited when she goes back to school shopping) she collects notebooks and other stationary shit she usually doesn’t use, most of them are collecting dust rn but she loves them all either way and would never get rid of them

her favorite family member is her older brother sully, they’re practically best friends

her comfort food is mint chocolate ice cream

she rarely gets mad, if something bothers her / if she wants to confront someone she does it calmly

she always has cat food & gloves in her purse incase she runs into a cat

she has a black fluffy cat named nightmare, sully found her in the streets and brought her to vile, she’s super curious and likes to stare at people’s faces

did i mention she’s a cat person

always has a notebook by her bed to write her dreams, sometimes she has dreams that predicts the future

her mom’s hobby is dream reading and later on turned it into a job, vile learned so many things from her and got used to writing her dreams and analyzing it, one issue.. she found out most of vile’s secrets through her dreams

her favorite hair dye phase was chunky red highlights or full red hair and always goes back to it whenever she gets that phase

her singing voice sounds like a mixture between hope sandoval & elysian fields

her style icon is taylor momsen and pamela anderson

she collects herbs like a lil freak and loves mixing some n creating unique teas, she’s a sucker for tea (caffeine problem IK but it’s not as strong as coffee, she can drink it)

easiest way to have her heart in a chokehold is taking her to a cemetery date during a foggy morning, forest dates, bullying her, and finding her craft interesting enough to let her do a tarot reading on you (one time a guy confessed his feelings for her through a tarot reading and to this day she still thinks about it)

her favorite animals are snow leopards, bats and owls

her fav subjects are history and science, least fav is math

she likes to explore abandoned buildings

her theme song would be Angel by Massive Attack

[kiddiekat-toybox]

Thinking about the first leg of my Monster High obsession, the sentimental value and stories and memories that give toys individuality, and the little ways people leave their marks on our lives even once we lose touch. So I was a teen when Monster High was in its heyday and I was friends with a couple of younger girls at my school who I would regularly play dolls with. (not gonna go into detail explaining the school model but know that when I say school I’m referring to a highly nontraditional one with kids of all ages together and basically full freedom of what to do with our time.) They’d bring their MH dolls and I’d bring mine and we’d play almost every day. 

My Ghoulia’s legs broke off one day when one of my friends was trying to remove her shoes, and we took it upon ourselves to fix her. We ended up hot-gluing her legs back on (I think it may have been as a temporary fix until I could look into something better) and, since they were no longer movable, we constructed her a doll-sized wheelchair out of whatever craft supplies were available at school, mainly popsicle sticks with empty spools of thread for functional wheels, and a piece of red fleece glued to the seat that we added black dots to to match her pants. (I’m actually still really proud of that, it was really good considering the limited supplies and improvisational nature of it. It eventually broke in a move but she had it for a long time.) I guess at some point the glue loosened and we needed a quick fix while we were playing, because I discovered today that her legs were also hastily held on by some colorful duct tape that we had had at school at the time.

Several of the dolls that I’ve had since back then still have these little handmade accessories- basic things, bracelets or leg bands or belts made of scraps of fleece or colorful duct tape. They’re things those friends made- friendship jewelry their dolls gave to mine way back in the day. So simple, just thrown together on a whim from whatever materials were on hand at school. But I’ve kept them on the dolls all this time. Those things are part of their outfits forever now for me. I haven’t seen or spoken to those girls in years, I don’t know what they’re doing with their lives, they’ve probably outgrown this interest (though I didn’t so who knows) but my Robecca Steam has this blue fleece leg band with some messy yellow stitching because once upon a time our dolls shared a story. Once upon a time we were friends and that was important enough to make tangible. And that mattered, and that still matters. 

[starredforlife]

okay cool! all results (and brief explanations) under the readmore:

ALSO the brief explanations are for those that genuinely have no clue what the blurbs are trying to say, which is fair, because i was writing off vibes alone. but i want your interpretation and the way you felt to dictate what the answers mean to you, because they really aren't supposed to be pinned down in an offhand sentence anyways. too reductionist. anyways:

🎇 bandmates with firecracker sexual chemistry: you are like shooting stars. you are misguided and magnetic and drawn to your loves without hesitation. something about you gulps down anything it finds. and you're fun, and you stick your tongue out to anyone, and we love you for it with kisses and pulls of the hair. you will be remembered in fascination and jealousy. you are unforgettable.

you are impulsive, but fun!

🕯️ carnal and holy sinning (this is a love letter to myself): you are the world's leading cross bearer of the most guilty conscience. you feel everything you touch turns to gold but in the way that it becomes molten and rich; and what i mean is that when you allow yourself impulse (which is not often) it leads to disaster. when you want someone it feels like sorrow, and you love the world like tacky honey, and you'll wish it could all feel less heavy. you look at yourself in the mirror and yearn to stake the heart and ascend with peace.

you have a guilt complex and/or OCD

🪠 beavis and butthead: the two sides inside of you live inside either asscheek and are trying to come up with the worst fart imaginable. (what else is the ass for?) you love the smell of your own uh. ideas and would rather not waste time on what other people think bc inevitably it's fuckin stupider than what you had in mind. you are what, in my household, we like to call a "big brain genius". bold and offensive and high and mighty and refreshingly humiliating. don't you ever change starchild

you can't take things seriously (blessing and curse)

🧟 god-hungry scientist and their abominable child: you stitched something together inside of yourself and gave it life with light from the sky and now it won't die it and you can't kill it because part of you loves it and you're not quite right in the head or the person you used to be but at the end of the day it's simply a beast of sadness. you crave the mercy you didn't get from your creators and so i'm telling you please forgive yourself. please hold the monster by the hand.

you had bad parents

🥩 girl best friends (this will not end well): this is almost akin to cannibalism. something toxic and hateful exists in the way you hold yourself. you tout self-love, but is it actually that? or is it punishment? like the way two young girls who have no one else love and know each other, there's something deeply poisonous about how you handle your own feelings and self-worth. you are eating yourself alive trying to appease. please, by all means. start going apeshit on anyone mean to you.

you are scared to say no because you don't know that self-love means having boundaries

💦 the husband, the wife, and the pool boy: are you having fun indulging yourself, or are you watching from the sidelines, or are you letting people have a little fun with you just for the sake of feeling it? idk, maybe you're all three. maybe you're having the time of your life and others shouldn't judge you because hey, it's yours to spend. maybe the lesson here is that the husband should have his own pool boy.

you live life dissociated

🎥 dangerous parasocial celebrity fascination: how does somebody embody this as one person? simple. you are online way too much. you don't have to bare your secrets to the world, you are not our doll to prompt or play with, you belong to yourself. having an obsession with presentation was probably fun at first, but now it's a set of rules and you only have so many strikes until you're out. and to that i say whatever dude. just be. allow the side of you that is not a cardboard glamour exist as they are without pursuit of difference. you are allowed to exist plainly.

your live as if you are performing for others

🦷 dentist tasked with a child piranha: you are very scared of many many things but you are also incredibly determined to do as much as you can. how is this about a doctor and a fish-child? well let me explain. you are fearful and so you bite and flop, but you are also someone who loves the world and the people in it and you want to achieve things and so sometimes. you have to strap that fish to a chair and floss and rinse and do things anyways. this is a battle every time and so i respect you thoroughly for keeping those pearly whites shining, even though the bit is chomped.

you have anxiety and are being so brave about it

🧙 wizened mentor and intrepid teenager: you may have been called an old soul as a kid, and now you're doing everything you can to benjamin button that back. in your head of heads you can hear yourself giving advice, but the heart of hearts says no, i will not miss out on myself ever again. i can do this. and it really is about finding that balance before you end up buying too many goddamned hatsune miku figurines trying to endorse that inner child. but please do buy at least two. i know you deserve it.

you are learning how to indulge your inner child

🧸 big bear; little princess: this is a fun dynamic isn't it? a big burly character, often aloof, finding warmth and love while caring for a little helpless person or animal. and so that's the duality here, one where you can be tough and butch and gruff, but that's because you're protecting a deep sense of wonder and delight for what you love that others have poked at before. it's not selfish to enjoy that side of yourself, and it's not weak to show it either. i promise i promise, the right people want to see you love.

you're tough for your own reasons, but you don't really want to be

🌕 sun and moon: for some you shine just right, and for others you are too much or too little. people either hate seeing you rise over the horizon or pray and send blessing to you like a favorite god. you are timeless and there are not many like you, you who can embody both a burning star and a cratered rock. what i'm trying to say is that your duality compliments itself very well, but not everyone will understand why they can't get what they want from you. it doesn't matter. burn strong when you feel the need, and be gentle in the nights it's called for.

you do not mold to others' expectations

👤 you and the hat man: oh boy you're fighting demons aren't you. it's like you're in a constant staring competition with something that's always in the peripheral. what the fuck. (at least, that's how people who don't know you would react). at this point you've probably gotten pretty familiar with the hat man. he's a reliable kind of guy. keeps to himself, sure, but you can trust him to be there. maybe a haunting isn't too bad if it's never left your side. you can only imagine what it will be like when he's not there any more.

you don't remember your past well and it freaks you out, even though you're used to sitting with that now

🐺 moon curse of the werewolf: you have found yourself hungered or sickened or ambitious to the point of emotional carnage. you are fine, until you're not, and then you could rip someone in your way apart with your bared teeth by complete accident, and later claw at yourself in fits of pain trying to apologize. do you look at the moon that blessed you in her name, at her marred beauty and baneful eyes, and wish she could just crush that loving-hateful heart of yours before it crushes itself? every bite you take out of flesh is a response to the threads of silver bullets in you that haven't healed. the duality is that the human inside is howling too, gnashing, and without the wolf pelt, everyone can ignore it and turn away. at some point, you got tired of the moon being your only witness. now the wolf is there to make sure others know that you are hurt, and deserving of humanity, of attention to wounds. because that wolf loves you; all of you; and knows when you are hurt better than yourself.

you have been hurt so badly that it can't help but show itself in the ways you cope/react

🔵 the most important person and the pale blue dot: it's you. you're the most important because you are here and alive on this planet, that, in the scope of it all, isn't even the most of anything. the silliness of how vast our home is and how many of us there are only makes each of us that much more incredible. every time you kiss the cheek of a loved one you are telling the Earth that she is important in all the little ways, and thanking her for making others to hold. and likewise, when you hurt one of hers, she festers, and when she is hurt by yours she reciprocates--bellowing, and bleeding. she is important because you make her big and you are important because she made you small. and so…take care of each other.

you've looked at the big picture, and found yourself in it

🍀 moss-eaten robot (i.e. the workaholic whose body has had enough): the robot is dead? the robot is living. or a zombie, a botanical garden, an ecosystem, or a ghost of one. children watch you and wait for you to blink, mesmerized by how human you could look if you did. you are a shell, no lungs or organs to speak of, but the plants have found you and thought: we want to entwine in your wires like veins and give you oxygen. we want to turn your face to the sun with our leaves and help you feel the warmth of its rays. we want to water your rusted plates and bring you to the god of Pan as our greatest offering. sometimes, you want to get up, feel the gears whir and turn, and blink. but you are at peace, and you are understood, and so you rest. the time will come for your aching body to move, and you will know when that time is, but right now: you are not a machine. your metal and copper was made of the earth. so listen to the moss--and slumber.

capitalism sucks babey!

do y’all want me to do a little post that has the blurb for all the results for the duality uquiz results?

[hinagamoizaf]

Odaiba Memorial Day 2021

My first Odaiba Memorial Day while being an active part of the fandom, and it’s high time I write an essay about my crackhead obsession with Yakari.

(*There will be some swearing & f-bombs in this post) As a kid, Yamato was like the ‘blue and cooler Taichi’ to me, like he doesn’t exist without being adjacent to the gogglehead. Also my family didn’t have the full Dark Masters arc in our CD collection, so I literally knew nothing about Yams’ emotional meltdown. But now, I adore this overly sensitive dork, and I don’t mean that in a derogatory way. Maybe I’m biased in this reading, but I think Yamato has had to push himself to mature faster than his peers; and he’s very much a mini-adult at a young age. For all these grand monster battles, the main cast are still children; among them Yamato is a kid dealing with a lot of unresolved issues but he’s got a lot of heart, he’s passionate about those he holds dear but he just doesn’t know how to process this. Another thing that goes hand-in-hand with Yamato is the fact he’s a musician. Again, I could be reaching way into my ass here; but there’s this mumbo jumbo real life idea of the ‘depressed creative’, and Yamato works his way out of that dangerously romanticised label. The kid’s got a passion for music, he’s literally been playing the harmonica since Takeru was in diapers .Without spoiling DA:LEK, Yamato still holds onto that flame into adulthood but it’s not something he can actively work on; and that takes its toll. I love Yamato because he’s someone who cares so much about those around him and what he does; and he’s just a kid who’ sorting things out and wanting to better himself and well fuck, if that isn’t relateable. Even with the flaws that the Tri films have, I think it’s a natural progression for Yamato’s character journey. I see people saying how ‘they just turned him into a tsundere’ or ‘he’s so snappish now’. But seeing as most of the Tri cast are in High School and general teenagers are assholes to each other, yeah it’s not unreasonable to see why Yamato’s the way he is now. He didn’t lose his touch with the Crest of Friendship; when the literal world is up in flames, there’s still the same loyal and compassionate Yamato who understands the importance of being there for and with his friends. Yamato’s a big mushy boy who has a hard time conveying what he feels and his needs; Hikari isn’t any better and this was how I grew to love the concept of them being together. She’s not the Chosen Child of Light for nothing, Hikari’s symbiotic partnership with Tailmon is a very shoehorned metaphor of being an angel from Heaven and I absolutely eat that shit up. Fans have pointed out Hikari’s so mysterious with her role and powers as late member of the team, the same can be said for her personality. You see Hikari, you think ‘sweet, little girl’ and in part thanks to the 02 dub, she grows into being this sassy brat. 

A brat who has trouble asserting herself and is prone to literally get dragged into an ocean of depression. Like any respectful human, Hikari cares for her friends and family; but a mixture of that and a tendency to devalue herself is Hikari’s fatal flaw. She’s too self-sacrificing to a fault, and this reflects the other extreme end of her crest. In my own overly pretentious words, I think Hikari has self-imposed on herself for ‘being the light of the team’; like she carries herself as a doll whose job is to bring others out of darkness when she’s still stuck in the shadows herself. Hikari doesn’t allow herself to verbalise her wants, let alone her needs because she doesn’t want to inconvenience others; she just goes with the flow and puts on a mask of toxic optimism. 

I am aware this analyse could be me scraping the bottom of the barrel, but it’s how I interpreted Yamato and Hikari’s character; and now I’ll articulate my brain rot  with how the fuck are these two being shipped.  

You have these two people who already have this history and experience of being Chosen Children, but there’s also an underlying sub-connection of them being each other’s brothers’ best friend. As many Yakari fanfics have headcanon, it’s not unreasonable to think that Yamato’s at the Yagamis’ apartment frequently because A) Taichi is his best friend and B) The Ishida apartment is prolly empty ‘cause Hiroaki’s out being a workaholic. The Yagamis become the family that Yamato didn’t have growing up, and they welcome him with open arms. At their apartment, things are warm and rowdy, he doesn’t have to be alone with his thoughts and they treat him as a second son. Listen, I've been a diehard Takari shipper too, but I genuinely think Takeru and Hikari can be platonic soulmates. They know each other like the back of their hand, they’re cosmically entwined and their Digimon are in sync; they’re also legit a pair of best friends too. I know early 2000’s fics depict Yakari as being this big drama; but I have a weak heart and I’m here to say Yakari can be cosy and comforting and they’re just two idiots in love who need to be honest with each other.

I imagine their courtship not to be this grand display of fireworks and ‘the chase’, but a very subtle experience with slow burn. For me, Yakari is very much the first blossom of spring. They represent new beginnings and youth, the gentle lull of Mother Nature tending to the earth, something that’s natural but the routine has existed for centuries. Yakari is very much a gentle love, and with everything I’ve said about their characters; these two learn to embrace and nurture the other until they have a whole garden of spring’s blossoms. 

This crackship has the surface-layer appeal of ‘brooding lone wolf’ and ‘sweet angel’, so when you peel the layers to find these two very private characters who just need that one-on-one reassurance/affirmation; this ship is a warm blanket of fluff and yes that’s basically the plot of my fics. It’s the charm of slice-of-life, the endearment of growing and improving yourself with the one you love with the occasional reminder that this is a series founded on puppies evolving into angels. 

I’ve had enough of tragedies and melodramatic love affairs. I write about Yakari because as cliche as this sounds, I want more stories about ‘the light of friendship’. Yes that was a god awful line, but it captures why I have brain rot for this pair. To celebrate my first OMD, I have uploaded a special chapter on my AO3 fic titled ‘Mon ange’; it wouldn’t be August 1st if I didn’t half-hazardly work on this leading up to the big day. It couldn’t fit on Instagram, but this rambling piece is part of a bigger essay on my tumblr, so that’s also up and running. I hold Digimon near and dear to my heart, and I go about sharing that love by gushing about Yakari.

[cowboycannibalism]

this might bea weird question, but how were your Living Dead Dolls stolen/ruined? I had something similar happen to me and I always felt alone since it seemed so niche...it was wild, and comforting, to see I'm not alone?!

not weird at all! I had a pretty good collection, almost all the dolls from 2010s series 19 which is all black and white vampires, they were my pride and joy. I had Peggy Goo from series 22, she was the 1950s zombie skate waitress and I loved her so much, the fact that she was stolen from me still hurts to this day. the few dolls I had from the Moulin Morgue collection were stolen from me as well 😭 I also had a couple of the franchise horror characters like Chucky, Jason and Pinhead.

Unfortunately I have bad taste in friends apparently. So when I was in elementary school there was a girl who was kinda my friend but also kinda my bully. I was a weird kid and I used to be really bad at social stuff (I'm better now lol) so I kinda just took whatever friends I could get. Long story short, we had a sleepover one time with a few girls and she ended up taking my dolls out of the boxes so she could "see them better" and ended up stealing a lot of them in her duffel bag she had brought. Not even because she liked them, just because she didn't like the fact that I had something "expensive" because she was the rich girl (although that didn't last) and I was the weird poor girl who liked weird movies (ask me about what movie I wanted to watch at my sleepover birthday once 😂)

longer story short she told me years later she was the one who took them. no remorse, no replacements, no money nothing just a confession.

the ruined ones happened because of a flood, just good Ole mother nature. also because my childhood home is so old and not the greatest so shit like that would happen ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

anyways as a low income kid, losing stuff always felt like a huge devastating thing because toys and collectibles and things that weren't food or clothes were a luxury. lots of these dolls I earned money or saved money for them and a couple were gifts from one of my godfathers.

Anon, I am so sorry for the loss of your dolls, I know that pain. Most people who collected/bought these dolls are people like me, the weird kids, the goths, the outcasts. And these dolls were a huge step towards weird spooky things being accepted (Monster High dolls eventually followed LDD footsteps and I'm also obsessed with them lol). Feel free to message me if you want to share some memories of your dolls or just chat about the brand 🖤