#my friends are brilliant and im dumb

[arkhambug]

JASON TODD hearing you try to mask your accent

“and, that isn’t—,” you enunciate, and jason doesn’t even hear the rest of what you’re saying. your words are coated in some weird neutral accent, and he’s sure you’re not even trying to sound any specific way other than not how you do. you’d started off normal, with that pretty southern twang, but somewhere through the conversation it was like a switch was flipped and you’d eased yourself into whatever this was.

he tries to tune back in, to listen to what you’re saying, but his brows are knitted together, and his nose is crinkled, and he hates this. “the hell are you doin’, ma?”

“what do you mean?” you push out, trying so damn hard not speak how you’re used to, and every word is wrong, not how it should sound coming from that pretty mouth. and jason shoots you a look, one that very much conveys ‘you know damn well what’ with a heavy frown, and you cave in an instant.

you try to explain. that you don’t want to sound like a hick, or a country bumpkin, or uneducated, because you’re not uneducated. and there’s reasons, of course there are, and they’re all stupid to him. coworkers mocking you, or friends making a poorly timed joke. maybe an overheard conversation, just something. but the one that stands out the most is that you don’t want his friends, or his family, or him to think of you that way.

and that’s the most stupid, by far, because how could his brilliant, wonderful partner ever worry he’d think you’re uneducated? he’s seen your brain work, seen you solve things in half the time it takes him to, and that’s when you’re giving him a chance.

and he drags you to him, across the couch, and pulls your face into his chest, and kisses the crown of your head. and he sings your praises, a million words of reassurance — about how you’re the smartest person he’s ever met, about how he could never think that, about how he’d kick someones ass for even insinuating that you weren’t as brilliant as you were

and it doesn’t fix everything, but it makes it okay, even just for a minute. it helps.

yeah idk how to end this????

straight up was gonna just give up at the fifth paragraph and call it

but anyways!! im insecure abt my accent and i want a big ass sweet man to hold me and kiss me and tell me my accent is pretty and that it doesnt make me sound dumb like people say it do 💪💪

[applepixls]

my personal highlights from skizz's pov of build and seek:

the intro. something about the characters sliding around the screen and "its best to take the high road, celebrate with them and act mature about it *SMACK*" it was awesome and cracked me up

him trying to have his plot next to impys and grian and scott separating them

his "I'm hidden, can you find me?" bit (great delivery and his character being tiny in a big open space was hilarious)

skizz always plays like the dumb goof and be the butt of the joke but then he says stuff like "high level infrastructure" and "desensetize them to the poster" and "maslow's pyramid"

the fact that he had all his buddies in there (even people not in the video!) impulse and tango as blacksmith and leatherworker (cause 'i can't not have tango'), jimmy up in the tower with a sign saying 'keep looking, fool!' (the fact skizz tried to write in jimmy's voice is so awesome to me cause i love these peoples unique voices and i can definitely hear him saying that) and scott as the entire army. bonus cause they're all employed and doing stuff like being the army. an army of scotts. meanwhile grian's there "having a bad day". he's just in the basement being tortured. "wheres grian? oh he's just being tortured." and lizzie and joel just sat in the things looking at each other

him just casually saying all his friends are brilliant :)

the fact that his build is like a walk through history model and sort of is a storytelling thing? (i love how him, impulse and grian all took the build a thing task differently to the original crew and played into their own like thing cause skizz is a storyteller, loves his friends and makes people laugh and you can see it reflected in his map. impulse played with some redstone to give people a headache and grian wanted to make people dizzy with his walls and sort of put a twist on the game like he does with each new guess the build and life series by making it escape room-y)

the fact that grian stole all his leather and junk and then was wearing it at the end of the episode

skizz and jimmy as a whole cause they just make each other funnier (this is my plea for plate up or something else with them and tango to come back pleaseee) and just the way jimmy wasted time to say funny things

the fact jimmy looked at joel and lizzie and said "this is love" and impulse looked at it and went "im a bit worried about you"

literally everyone jumping in the water, making some comment about how they were gonna die and skizz being evil and how they were sure he was down there/hated him if he was down there

this is skizzleman propaganda go watch his pov of build and seek if you havent

[bugflies00]

i was supposed to start working on my ucas statement about two months ago and i have to hand it in a week . i havent so much as created a google doc yet

babygirl i can reach depths of procrastination you've never heard of

[faksyan]

kazi baby and maybe sunny on the side idk if she has enough in canon for an ask on her own

Oh you know it I want to talk about Kazuhira Miller. Of course I do.

(my favorite Sunny moments are all of mgrec and jomo am I allowed to answer that. Loved her there the writers did such a good job. I wish we were friends.)

First impression

Honestly, I don't think I took that much notice of him in his first appearance? I saw him in pw first, and in the beginning he is just a guy idk. The ending of peace walker and his tapes made me go a bit feral over him though. just a little.

Impression now

I'm in love with his anger issues. He's a scared animal backed into a corner that bites at the hand reaching for him even if it wants to feed and soothe him. I like thinking it gets better with age, but never quite leaves him to some extent, he did think about his revenge on bb for years (even though I think by the end it was less personal and more about. you know. not letting the world explode.)

I really really really like all of Kaz's designs. They're so expressive and tell so much about the mental space he's in. I love how resilient he is throughout all of the shit he deals with and how he passes it on to Dave. What else. There's so much more honesty I talk a bunch about Kaz in other asks, nothing else I haven't mentioned before comes to mind right now.

Favorite moment

Him almost killing himself and bb with a grenade. Showstopping. Brilliant. Never done before. All of first encounter honestly it does so much for him as a character. His tapes where he talks about his childhood too. Every Kaz moment is kind of my favorite I think. I like his lines as Master Miller where he tells Solid he should survive and about cheese fondue and stuff.

Idea for a story

I'm afraid I tie him to Ocelot too much because I love their dynamic. A big fic during the nine year gap where they do a bunch of dumb shit and make Diamond Dogs and kiss is the main one I guess. They go to a casino and beat the shit out of each other one (1) time and beat the shit out of other people many times. So much more bullshit happens but im not getting into that right now. I also have a story with the main focus on Paz in mind, but he's also there a lot, I just want them to be friends.

Unpopular opinion

He can be impulsive but he is a lot more rational than what people often portray/describe him as I think. Also, almost all interpretations of him in v I've seen feel kind of. wrong. Yes, he's traumatized and paranoid, but he is not a *mess*, not in a way he is often viewed. I already said about how I think Kaz's designs are very expressive, and there was this really cool post (don't really know where it's now unfortunately, don't think I reblogged it) about how his facial hair in tpp isn't him giving up on shaving, it's him having a fucking designer stubble that was a rising trend at the time. This, coupled with the fact that he wears so many layers (of also fancy clothes), carries a gun on him at all times, and orders people around as if it were his base (it is) and his soldiers (they are) is exactly the opposite of a man that gave up on his life. It isn't his low point. I headcanon the actual lowest low point in his life being somewhere during bb's coma, and by v he has gotten over it. It was a really long time, and they needed to move on to get things done, so he did. He didn't really need Snake by the time he gets back, I think. Not anymore. It was purely sentimenal by then, plus wanting revenge. And then not even that.

Favorite relationship

Oh would you really make me choose. Ocelhira for all the reasons listed here and so many more. Him and bb for all the baggage they have. Him and V for all the baggage they don't have but think they do because Zero is insane what was that plan. Him and Solid even though they have almost no screentime together. Everyone who ever interacts with him is my favorite relationship because it's Kazuhira Miller. Sorry for being abnormal about him.

Favorite headcanon

Transfem Kaz maybe, but I don't write or think about him with it in mind a lot of the time. Also I think he lost the hand in Ground Zeroes, it makes sense with him bringing up losing limbs and the pain being a reminder of what was taken from him nine years ago in his helicopter speech.

Bonus

Okay, more seriously about Sunny. Everyone always draws her so cheerful and outgoing aka closer to how she's in Rising I assume, that I didn't really expect that she'd be essentially kind of a shut-in in 4. She's a scared anxious child who is also a prodigy, and they are so fucking mean to her there. Made me honestly pretty sad. Though a lot of it might have been the stress everyone was under. I haven't gotten to her in mgr yet, but it makes me happy that things get better for her, like everyone always wanted.

[erenfox]

ranking purple hyacinth characters cuz they're my pookies (well most of them at least) 🗣❗

1. Lauren Sinclair: OHH OUR QUEEN FRR she's such an interesting character, with her defined flaws and trauma! writing complex characters, especially mcs, is not easy at all (for me at least :P lmao) but the way it was executed for lauren? chefs kiss fr 9/10

2. Kieran White: how can one man be so sweetly soft yet intimidatingly hot at the same time??? moreover he's so fucking terrifying when he needs to holy shit. his character arc from being a cocky bastard (powerless reference to those who care hehe) with no affection for anyone in his heart in s1, to being this wholesome member of the apd gang who actually now cares for others was so satisfying to witness as well! aND THE WAY HES ACTUALLY SCARED FOR LAUREN'S WELLBEING??? 😭 9/10

3. Kym Ladell: UGH OK BADDIE I STAN YOU SO HARD. she's such a vibrant and fun character lmaooo i was literally craving for scenes with kym! shes so adorably immature as well, who definitely brings light into lauren, will, lukas and everyone else's dark life. her sass? TOP TIER I TELL YOU. (it's fighting for first place against lukas' sass fr). i just love how during times of crisis, she's actually mature and often takes command, being completely serious and concentrated towards her mission! talk about duality lmao. but ngl it's kinda sad how she uses this childish behaviour to hide her own pain of losing daena, and trauma over nearly losing her friends. shes just so brilliant 😭❤ 10/10

4. William Hawkes: ngl at first i thought will was just a buzzkill, but he's actually so sweet and caring, especially towards lauren and kym (tho idk if he'll ever admit to being constantly worried for his wifey, i mean, sergeant hehe 🤭) his story at home is also so sad, with his father being a hella sus estranged fella, his mother seeing nothing but his brother in him, and rafael fucking running away. seeing him cry over nearly losing his sister-figure (lauren) and wife (kym), and over rafael's betrayal made me sympathise with him. poor baby doesn't deserve it at all :( 8/10

5. Lukas Randall: omg the sass. the grumpy aura. the completely out of pocket death threats to the coworkers he absolutely loves to death. the badass-ness while taking down the phantoms at the warehouse. the only calm moments of him around lila (THEYRE SO FUCKIN CUTE 😭) and the legitimately sly happy look on his face while making kym do dumb shit for blackmail? top tier man, ill tell u that for free 🤣🤣🤣 he just needs more screentime and i would absolutely devour more of his screentime! 7/10

6. Lila Desroses: she's so cute and underrated i can't 😭 the way she's so nice and polite to everyone! and the way she cares for old mr grumpy cat over here, to the point she literally stayed by his bedside throughout the night when he was in a coma 😭❤ soph and eph, im begging you to please make her shine more just like the rest of the apd gang! but please for the love of mr brussel sprouts don't let anything bad or traumatic happen to her istg- 6/10

7. Belladonna Davenport: im not gay but goddamn. she's fine asf! especially when she's murdering people: sheesh. also her pink hair and makeup is legit so pretty, like girlie lend me your beauty secrets- but anyway, as a character, she's so fuckin unhinged it's actually funny. also her lil sibling-like banters with kieran? pure gold fr 😹 8/10

8. Detective March: this little bitch. he was so wholesome during his entire introduction, and then he goes out and reveals hes been siding with the fucking phantom scythe this whole time? and his reason is what - the royals suck and the apd is incompetent? i agree about the royals part, but apd being incompetent? omg i wonder how that couldve happened. totally not because of fucking traitors like you and that wimp harvey jabbering all their plans to the ps, right? lookie here guys, here goes another one of lauren's father figures down the drain, how fun. really hoping for ph to continue so i can see what truly happened with him on the ship's edge (who shot him, i wanna thank you.) 2/10

9. Captain Hermann: ugh i hate him and his attitude towards lauren. he may be good, but that doesn't justify him belittling lauren every chance he gets. the only thing that redeemed him was him promoting lauren to detective again. 4/10

10. Mr Brussel Sprouts: OH MY LOONEY TUNES. THE DEFINITION OF HAWTNESS. THE BEAUTY. THE GRACE. THE HANDSOMENESS. THE CHARM. THE RIZZ. THE IMMACULATE FACIAL STRUCTURE. THE ABILITY TO BE EERILY PRESENT AT ALL THE WRONG TIMES. THE DOPPELGANGER OF THE GREEK GODS' LOOKS. OOF I AM MOGGED 😩✋ 929492949924/10

[eclipseslayer]

wahhh he is gross but it’s okay, i still love him

honestly though, it’s not their fault. icky!dad!toji n uncle!shiu just wanna make sure their girl is taken care of yk?

mean satosugu makes brain go brrrrrr

they’re deffo bullies. making u feel all silly and dumb and u just think ur a loser cus they’re so smart so what they say must be true :((((

making u cry n then laughing cus ur crying but u also cant help urself cus why does it make ur pussy feel like it has a heartbeat when theyre mean??? thats not normal

both of em fucking u n still being mean :((( but they’re also tellin u how pretty u r and it just confuses u more cus they’re so horrible and such bullies but then they fuck u like a princess

alternatively just big bro!sugu being a perv…but he has to keep appearances up so he’s so mean to you around his friends or around your family

but then hes sneaking into ur bedroom at night n touching u n telling u how sorry he is, how he hates making his lil sister cry but “gotta make sure no one finds out, what would mom n dad say?”

ill stop my brain is feral and depraved

ijust think that sometimes it’s neat when people are just a little bit gross and mean =^=

(I also sent the dad!toji&shiu req!! Thank you so much it was ssoooo good😭😭 ur work is just *chefs kiss* fr)

-🫐

ANON I LITERALLY LOVE YOUUUUUUUU YOUR MIND IS SO BRILLIANT IM KISSING IT!!!!!

I wrote a little something for uuuuu <3

[lpsgirl109]

this post is sponsored by @theravequeen /j

Im sure we're all of the collective opinion that the catalyst for Phin snapping and fully turning on Miles is incredibly dumb. She beats him to a pulp and stops listening to him because. Rhino was kinda mean and said Rick's death was her fault and that made her mad. Like not only is that childish on both her and Rhino's ends, Phin is absolutely smart enough to know Rick's death wasn't her fault and Rhino is talking bullshit. Like the only way I can see that making sense is if Phin at 15 years old constructed an entire plan to break into Roxxon and destroy the nuform, and Rick, a full grown adult, decided this was brilliant (though I guess he still allowed her to get involved, or convinced her to get involved. We don't know. Insomniac doesn't care about these characters). And even IF that happened, how the hell would Krieger ever find that out? Much less tell this random guy in a rhinoceros suit all about it. It makes no sense and further throws off the intention of making Phin a sympathetic and understandable person when she's beating the shit out of her friend just cause some guy she doesn't know said something mean

In my rewrite, this scene gets switched out for an Underground member getting killed, with Krieger having something to do with it. I'm sure anyone who's familiar with my Phin Mason info dumps should already be somewhat aware of my restructuring of the Underground - instead of a pre-existing criminal organization, they're a bunch of people who've all been affected by Roxxon and came together to take them down. They're a closely knit family who care about each other deeply, so for Krieger to cause the death of one of their own with no care about it is not only enough of a reason to snap for Phin, but for the entire group. The Underground fully enables her to go through with destroying Roxxon by any means necessary, which isn't to take any blame off of Phin, more just to humanize her. She's not ignoring Miles because she's being willingly stubborn, she's listening to what her family wants, and what they want is to avenger their friend and take down Krieger before his actions hurt anybody else. This also makes it so that her unwillingness to believe Miles when he finally tells her about Harlem being destroyed is less her thinking he's a horrible liar who she can never trust, but more thinking that any information from Krieger can't be trusted. She did the research, she has every reason to believe blowing up the reactor will only take out the plaza. Why should she believe something that Miles got from the guy who's killed multiple people and is willing to kill more just so he can keep making money? For all she knows, Miles received false info, and the explosion won't actually be that bad

But anyway that's a lot of words to say Rhino scene bad Phin's conflict going into the finale should be more with Krieger, guy who she has every right to be beefing with, than Miles, guy who at worst hid a secret from her

[marabarl-and-marlbara]

hello, im very much new to your blog and i suppose you have gotten asks like this before but i find what you post very comforting. especially the church notes and such. although im only skimming through it since for large chunks of text i like to sit down. i guess im thankful (best term i can find to describe it) that you post as you do. hope your days are well.

hi anonymous;

appreciate that, i:ll have more church notes tomorrow (because it:s the righteous sabbath tomorrow);

was watching a wc3 grubby video earlier and remembered last night i had one of those "tedium nightmares" where, in the dream, i spent money on buying wc3 and started playing it only to realize i am too dumb and slow to ever be competent at ranked wc3, and that sitting down to play it was like trying to take in too much information--the buildings, unit groups, hotkeys, micro, macro, orders, counters, how to use scouting information, how to manage the shop, how to know timers and creep camps;

finished listening to cujo, joyland, and bag of bones (stephen king audiobooks) recently; finished reading my brilliant friend by elena ferrante; might have just been looking for an excuse to blog a little (ever since i stopped posting so much on twitter i:ve been realizing i don:t have a good enough memory to remember what happened during a month); take care.

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

hiii saw u were doing a ship match up thingy and wanted to see if u could do me with pjo?! not sure if ur still doing them tho so i apologize if not!

so first of all i’m pretty fem presenting, she/her, im a girl and im bi :) i got medium length wavy brown hair with long curtain bangs (im tryna grow them out..) i also wear glasses! im half mexican, white dad😬 and im literally a no sabo kid (IM TRYING TO LEARN SPANIDJ I SWESR.) im pretty tan as well, im 5’4 if that matters, my friends either call me very calm or like very weird, im also very sarcastic and ppl say my personality is fun and silly. i am an introvert tho but like very loud and outgoing wjen with my friends, like im highly embarrassing when im with my friends in public

i like to read (pjo), im pretty smart #ap/honors classes😇 but like i act rlly dumb sometimes. i play piano (not very good!) love atla, stardew valley, i lovr horror movies, hate roller coasters, love nayure and animalsnand shit and I TALK A LOT. IM SUCH A YAPPER. also rlly like painting and drawing and stuff like that but im not the best at it, i also keep lots of trinkets in my room that just dont have a specific place to go like theyre just everywhere. oki idk what else to put so >_<

take ur time in doing this and thank uuu!!

Your PJO ship: Percy Jackson!

Explanation: starting off with looks, I think that he loves your medium length brown wavy hair. He just likes the way that it looks in the fact that it’s not completely curly not completely straight. It’s just wavy and it kind of reminds some of the oceans waves almost with the way that it goes up and down, and I don’t know. I just think he would love that feature about you.. he really likes your curtain bangs and thinks that they are adorable and they go really well with your glasses. I feel like he’d make a lot of jokes about your glasses and also your curtain bangs like friendly teasing just show how much he likes them. He would also tease you about not knowing Spanish yet even though he knows literally knows himself and he’s such a hypocrite but yeah, I feel like he that’s something he would kind of tease you about, he loves your weird personality, but he also loves the side of you. That can be calm because it very much contrast with his personality and I just feel like you guys would have such opposites attract energy and it would be really, really sweet. he’s also pretty sarcastic, silly funny, etc. so I feel like that’s something that you guys would have in common and I feel like you guys would make such a dynamic duo in battles with all of your comebacks and smart remarks and things like that I just feel like you guys would be hilarious together, and everyone around you would honestly kind of love it. You guys have the best banter. Like the best top-notch.. he relates to The being smart but kind of acting dumb sometimes thing, and even though he wishes that you wouldn’t dumb yourself down sometimes because he knows how incredibly brilliant you are he would understand and he would be a hypocrite if he told you otherwise, so he mostly just nods along and gets it. he’s not the best at art, but I feel like you would still be great at art so he would absolutely support you and constantly stand behind you and ask questions whether you were painting or drawing or whatever he would just be totally invested in it even though he has ADHD and can’t like sit still for long. I still feel like he would find a way to be invested in it and, if you ever wanted to draw something would be offensive please do not make a portrait of anyone you would get punched in the face with that shit man he cannot draw for crap. I love him, but he can’t draw for crap so I feel like he’d always ask you for lessons and stuff anyway you guys are cute. I ship it. 🩷

[aphroditarian]

Hate words for your moon sign <3

Aries moon- i seem to attract them, which is a problem because i hate these fuckers. Immature, selfish and irresponsible, they are oblivious to the fact that they need to work on themselves ( like literally all of us ) because they perceive themselves to have some sort of moral advantage for “always being right” ( my ass ). They also love weed and probably alcohol too ( cause god forbid they actually feel their emotions ). Theyre just big babies.

Taurus moon- unmovable, unshakable, will die on the stupidest of hills out of sheer stubbornness. They know everything since they were 3 and so theres no reason for them to get out of bed. Movies? Seen them all and if they havent, they already know the one you wana take them to is no good. Music? Pfft. Do you even know who bach is?

Gemini- yall have commitment issues the size of pluto and youre not doing anything about it. You are a menace. Basically draco malfoy but if he wasnt even rich and hot so he had literally no redeeming quality.

Cancer- even i, a particularly sensitive and emotional individual, cant handle your crying ass. Mommy issues WE GET IT!! Friends with this placement will make everyone in the group baby them and partners will suck your tits FLAT. Not to mention how EMO they truly are. Like 6 pete wentzs on the emo scale.

Leo- thank god none of yall seem to like me cause i swear to god you need 15 times more attention than the average human. Your redeeming quality is that youre funny. But if you dont stop acting like rachel berry im gonna laugh at you and not with you. Did i mention theater kid?

Virgo- youre so wrecked emotionally that i actually feel bad for you instead of wanna make fun of you. Like jojo siwas career. Its like you have the meanest most insidious person in your head judging every single thing you or anyone says or does or feels or thinks. Jesus christ, we all need therapy but you neeed therapy.

Libra- i dont trust a single word that comes out of yalls mouths. Youre people pleasing, co dependents, and eeeeverything must lead to you being good and nice. Youre no fun. And when you are its for other people to think youre fun. Also youre deeply delusional and limerant ( look it up ), and i can just sense you falling in love with everyone and everything for no reason. Ew.

Scorpio- listen here you piece of shit, i know you want everyone to be scared of you but im no fool. Literally no one finds you mysterious and intimidating, your just no fun. And yes, we can tell you cry to evanescence every night. Redeeming quality is that youre hot, but looks dont last and youre gonna be one cranky old peson.

Sagittarius- every time you tell i joke i can see tears behind your eyes. Youre not fooling anyone with your pseudo esoteric shit. Also chill tf out!! Please!! Youre either angry or excited.

Capricorn- like virgo, no amount of hate words coming from me will do a capricorn moon justice, because they are already hating on themselves so hard. They are under the delusion that its everyone around them that is the problem but deep inside they know, its themselves they feel bad about. And no you dont actually enjoy being productive, its just that your self worth is entirely dependent on being useful.

Aquarius- you are literally insane. The most delusional people ive met. None of your reactions make sense. You are constantly running away from being actually vulnerable and open, coming up with either brilliant or extremely dumb excuses, and your love life is suffering the consequences of your avoidant ass. At least your social life is good, but hey, at what cost??

Pisces- thank fucking god youre a rare species. Kind of like virgo, i almost dont wanna make fun of you because i feel bad. But in your situation i also have no desire to help your overly dramatic ass. Youre not just anxious, youre something on a whole new level and you probably require huge amounts of food/alcohol/tobbacco or something to keep it all bottled up. Good fucking luck to anyone who falls in love with you!! Ps if you wanna be a poet be a poet, dont be like umm UwU can i show you my poetry UwU 👉👈

If youre mad about this post, complain to my mother.

[kylejsugarman]

I can't find if you mentioned it anywhere, but regarding your au²! How does Baby come to be in Jesse's possession all the way in Albuquerque? Is Demi still around/a factor? Also the idea of Jesse & Skylar mom friend play dates is making me kick my feet

😳 au squared thats actually brilliant.....im still just sort of playing around but i imagined it'd be a situation where the ayuluk family lives in abq and jesse hooks up with demi's sister samantha and yk. Whoops. she comes back to him pregnant and really wants them to try to make it work out. they can do this!! but shortly after baby's born, samantha relapses due to the postpartum depression and overdoses, leaving him with this tiny little thing. demi is still at vet school when this all goes down and returns to abq like halfway-ish thru breaking bad, aware that her sister got pregnant and gave birth before she died but having never met her niece or jesse. she finds them both (he has been low key avoiding her family because he feels super guilty for like. knocking up samantha and believes that its his fault she died) and whatever negative feelings that she's been harboring against this mystery man start to evaporate when she meets him and sees how much he loves baby. their relationship follows the same course it does in alaska (going from friends to partners) and they'd eventually make it to alaska, all three of them. its so dumb and silly and weird, like it might as well just be the regular au, it sounds so dumb describing it

but any jesse + skyler interaction makes me deranged, its so fun to imagine her very reluctantly letting their daughters play together ("yo, she doesn't know any other babies, so like. can she meet ur baby??") and fielding his calls when he's like hey ive heard about this whole Teething thing is that for real??

[justalia]

hi queen! i was wondering if u could help me out.

i have been following LOA twitter since like nov but i have known abt LOA longer, however i only learned states with LOA twitter and neville + ed art. i truly love learning abt this stuff and hearing neville and ed's words. ive gotten some success but it just feels like i dont get anything noteworthy?

for ex. i got the job i wanted but i almost feel like i would have gotten it anyway. i manifested 10k somehow buttt it was my parents gifting it to me (unexpected they dont give me shit) but im not even counting it bc its in an investment account i cant touch

i had my worst college sem and got B's which i never get.

i prev manifested a good friendship with my friend who we were on and off but we just had our biggest fight yet.

my sp is still w a 3p + i feel not up to par applying for medical school

i feel like i see so many ppl applying this stuff and getting amazing grades, the sp, and their dream life in like weeks but lately, i just feel incompetent and like everything i touch is exploding in my face. sometimes i feel dumb bc im like am i just wasting my time reading abt this stuff when i could be taking fr action to better my life? its like ive been caught up in this daydream and im yet to see harvest. i fulfill myself with inner convos + feelings but for each success, i can also recall several failures. it rly feels like the only successes are getting is stuff that could have happened anyway when i want like the huge omg my life is objectively better bc of this type shit. i am so scared i am just wasting time and that's why my professional life is going down the hill for the first time ever. before id always be brilliant even if my relationships were trash lol. i guess my biggest question is where am i going wrong, how do i increase my faith in the process when i am getting mid results LOL

manifestation coming true in the outer world is supposed to feel like “it would’ve happened either way” bc it is natural, it’s how the world works.

i feel like you’re undermining yourself and dismissing the successes you got, stop undervaluing yourself and just apply.

imagine EXACTLY what you want i don’t care how impossible it may feel. imagine what you truly want, not what you think you should want.

[gaybaby2424]

PART 5

All the boys started to surround me as they started getting undressed and I was trying so hard to move to run away and I was able to move a couple inches before daddy telling me that it’s so pathetic that you’re trying to run away and your daddies said that we can do anything we want with you so me and my horny friends are going to use you however we want and just to let you know everyone boy here has shit still in there ass and your job is going to be to clean our asses until it’s clean as the first one made me lay on my back with them smothering my face I started to clean there asses filled with shit and getting told that I’m a very good boy for obeying daddy and then got off my face and told me to stick my tongue out as I did there was shit still caked on my tongue and daddy took a picture the said baby boy loves to eat poop like a nasty piggy doesn’t he the all of the boys moved a giant crib in the room and removed everything except the plastic bed and as I was laying there daddy cam and put a bigger 8 inch dildo paci in and fastened it to my head the 4 of the boys picked me up and put me in the crib and told me that I wasn’t a regular baby boy that I was very special for living my life like this forever then daddy left and came back with my real daddy and he just kept staring at me and then one of the boys left and came back with some stuff and the boy started pulling stuff out and said I asked your main daddy if I can do this he said yes so your getting changed but I will be putting a total of 10 diapers on you and im gonna put 8 glycerin in you and every boy is going to pee in your thicker diapers after they taped the last diaper on all the boys lined up and sat right on my tummy and pulled my diaper up and started peeing after every boy was finished my real biological father came to the side of my crib and just stared at me and was confused about everything and asked me why I look like a 2 week old baby and looking like I have been hypnotized by how glazed my eyes were and then my dad started to try to untie me and he was stopped in less then minutes by all the boys and then had a brilliant idea to put me and my real dad back in diapers so w boy left and came back with my main daddy and told them everything and asked if he can help the boys make my dad just like me and and my daddy said yes as my real dad was confused and angry and then started yelling but daddy stopped him by putting him under hypnosis right away and then told some boys to go fetch the diapers and everything else when the boys came back they locked my real dads cock up just like me then put 10 glycerin bullets in him and then started carefully putting all 10 diapers on him and the they found matching shirt that says I’m a dumb diaper filler for both me and my real dad after that my daddy left and came back with all of the pills he gave me and put them into dads mouth and forced it down as he swollowed then daddy said awwww is my baby boy happy I’m turning his daddy into a pathetic diaper faggot just like you. You and your dad are going to be the dumbest babies ever and no one even knows that you were force fed the pills and now both of your big boy minds are lost forever and I decided that you don’t need your brains anymore so I erased every memory you and your dad had and your brains are completely empty so now you are exactly like a baby you and your dad are completely helpless and now your new 3 daddies own both of you and you and your dad are going to be together forever as dumb mindless infants now that you and your daddy are in the crib together the fun starts and then all the boys started to pee in my dads diaper making it swell up after my dad woke up he was completely different and then our tummies started churning and rumbling and then a hypnotist comes in and told my real dad to get up and sit right on my face so he did as he was told then he told my dad to let everything out and make lots of poopies after the dad finished pooping the hypnotist ordered him to sit on your sons face and make him smell your fully loaded poopy diapers

[bunnakit]

bun, oat and ai di 2, 10, 13 and 14

character ask game 🌸

kali im biting you these are such good chars and questions

2 🌸 Favorite canon thing about this character?

Bunn - I adore his wit and attitude. He's smart (and also a little dumb) and he knows it and he knows just how to get under people's skin while also being the most endearing person in the room. (And he's a little bit of a slut, we stan.)

Oat - He's so fucking genuine and so sweet. He's almost always smiling and he can't get away with anything (until it matters most.) Golden retriever energy for days.

Ai Di - Ai Di feels things so intensely. He comes off as this feral wild person but all of this energy stems from the fact that he feels everything so intensely all the time, all that love and devotion and loyalty and protective instinct has to come out somewhere because he's certainly not communicating it to Chen Yi.

10 🌸 Could you be best friends with this character?

Bunn - I think it would be a strange friendship. I have a friend in real life that's a lot like Bunn, brilliant and kind of a snarky ass. He's like my brother, I adore him and I'd give him a kidney without question if he needed it, but we also fight like siblings and get into disagreements and grate on each others nerves and want to beat the hell out of each other. I think Bunn and I would have a friendship very similar to his friendship with Inspector M.

Oat - God yes, but to be fair I think Oat is one of those people anyone could easily be friends with. I think we'd have a lot of fun teasing people, teasing each other, and just have one of those friendships that's easy.

Ai Di - This one is hard. I want to say yes? But we're both so fucking feral I think things might get overwhelming from time to time. I do think we'd have one of those relationships where you message each other and go "Can I be a hater for a minute?" and just unleash all the opinions you don't want to post publicly because like, they aren't that big of a deal, and it doesn't need to be A Thing. We'd also enjoy spicy food together.

13 🌸 What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

Bunn - 🙄🤔😩

Oat - 🥰😭😊

Ai Di - 🔪🔫🌶️

14 🌸 Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

Bunn - Business casual 24/7, does not own a pair of jeans.

Oat - Average, jeans and some kind of graphic tee with a ridiculous phrase or design. Maybe the occasional flannel or button up to go out.

Ai Di - Absolute chaos. Patterns and neon colors for days, probably experimented with Pastel Goth. He is always the brightest one in the room and you can always gauge his mood by his clothes.

[goodtimesyana]

in an attempt to manage my codependency somebody suggested that i make a list of energy muses which is a weirdly derivative and euphemistic way of saying i should make a list of people who i admire and respect but there's nobody i admire or respect so much as seventeen year old yana. i think seventeen was the perfect age for me, because i was young and brilliant, and my youthfulness complimented my brilliance and maturity in a way that was very becoming, i was a virgin girl and i lived with a specific set of romantic delusions where i was convinced that the graduate students and professors i spent the summer doing a writing intensive with all wanted to have sex with me. in retrospect yeah, im sure they did.

seventeen year old yana was the coolest person ever. especially that summer, between writing intensives at a tiny liberal arts college in the appalachian foothills, august reading brautigan on my uncle's boat and listening to the magnetic fields, sneaking white wine and smoking backwoods in the park with my friends. i was writing conservatively five hundred words a day about blackberries and salad greens and most importantly my virginity.

when it comes down to it i really cant shake the feeling that my chastity and precociousness is what made me special, but those aren't the sort of things you can meaningfully bring with you into adulthood without being a little bit insufferable. it's one thing to be seventeen and have a singular voice and to be really bitter about boys not wanting to date you, entirely something else to feel a weird disdain for and dread about sexual competition in your mid-twenties. no longer chic to lie to boys and say i've had sex with seven other people and losing my virginity is really no big deal and that i'm not so interested in connection, i'm just looking to have fun and feel good and enjoy being desired. i guess they're all just pieces of the puzzle.

i'm still childishly fixated on the experience of losing my virginity because it was painful and frightening. i was so convinced that finally having sex was going to be the thing that made me feel grown-up and worthy and changed but it just hurt. it was a rich kid with black hair and he unclasped my bra in front of the window so all of his friends in the courtyard could see my breasts, and they hooted like monkeys, and the truth is that the humiliation was a little bit thrilling. the sex itself just hurt, i didn't want it, i cried and screamed the whole time and in the morning i had to take an emergency contraceptive that i bought with my birthday money. i kept seeing the guy until one night he dosed me with acid while we were laying in the courtyard, and i walked home in my plastic majorette boots sweating all over myself. i couldn't bring myself to consider that my feigned indifference about the whole thing was less about being young and hot and cool but more about lacking the courage to protect myself from what i thought i'd wanted.

so i'll say that sincerely, i've felt a little bit like i've lived in a fugue state since then, and i'll blame it on the hormones, but who knows. i think deep down it has more to do with censuring myself to appease difficult men because i don't know how else to affirm my womanhood. i didn't realize how good i had it and i wanted to live on a man's wall like a deer mount. when i looked at myself i looked with the eyes of a big dumb man, and all i could see was a woman who was deficient in something, sexual savvy.

there is an unimaginable difficulty in finding myself sufficient, but it seems like the most loving option. my life as an adult has become, without my realizing it, a love letter to a seventeen year old girl. i face her in the mirror when i get ready for work, and though she won't admit it, i can sense her quiet fascination with my life, and her pride. with a sense of smugness, she thinks- i'm going to go work the night shift, i'm going to go sling some cards, i'm going to go out drinking at a dive bar, and i'm going to sleep in my own apartment with art from the thrift store. i'm wearing the coolest jewelry anyone has ever seen and on my off days i do big giant paintings and make comics.

[starliters-blog]

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