#my first time making a fandom blog!

[kev-noah]

Hi there! The main reason for this blog is to post a aftg headcannon (aroace Kevin) that I have in mind! (when I say in mind... I mean in mind only T_T I haven't really wrote it down yet) I will also be reblogging posts of my fixations.

My main fandoms— animes (bnha, haikyuu, jjk, etc) books (the raven cycle, six of crows, aftg, etc) and others (batfamily, teen wolf, etc)

I don't particularly obsess over ships, I'm mostly here for the friendship dynamics and found family feels, excluding some ships of course. Also I lean more towards fanon than canon in all my obsessions.

[Photos from Pinterest. Kevin's art from @toramirr her drawings of aftg character's eyes are absolutely amazing!!! I don't know the artist of other drawing :( I saw the sketch on Pinterest and this fit the image I had of Noah so well !!]

[duskerot]

i disappear inside myself / my friends don't know it can't be helped

[Pure You - Nothing But Thieves]

[hopeswriting]

daily life arc miura haru. does anyone know who i'm talking about. do you guys remember her. i still can't believe what happened to her 😔

[lunarharp]

played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles

[mel-loly]

-(click for a better quality!)

[teapot-of-tyrahn]

hello !!! i'm ...

➟ sugar !! i also go by charlie , echo , scott , timmy -- call me whatever's more comfortable for u !!

➟ i'm genderfluid, asexual and biromantic + greyromantic !!

➟ my CURRENT hyperfixations are on NINJAGO and the TRAFFIC LIFE SERIES !! if you're seeing THIS pinned introduction, TRAFFIC LIFE SERIES is currently the MAIN brainrot !

➟ i am a 🚸 MINOR ���️ !! please interact with this in mind !!!

➟ i have GAD [ generalized anxiety disorder ] , separation anxiety disorder , social anxiety disorder , selective mutism , depression , DPD [dependent personality disorder] , ARFID [ avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder ] , and involuntary age regression ! though these topics probably won't be discussed at length , please keep them in mind when interacting with me !! at times i may go NON-VERBAL or slip into LITTESPACE , and i ask you be patient with me at those times, thank you !

➟ this is a FANDOM SIDEBLOG - my main blog is @sugrx !! here is where i post FANFICTION, FANART, ANALYSISES , AUS, USERBOXES,,, etc !!

➟ basic ! queerphobes, xenophobes, misognists, sexists, ableists, racists, terfs, maps, pedos, fatphobes, etc - any and all bigots of ANY shape or form !! ➟ nsfw / fetish / kink blogs !! again , i am a MINOR , and though i'm fine with having mutuals who ARE 18+ , i'd rather avoid 18+ content , thank you !!

[aliusfrater]

i still can't believe i used to get people saying how disappointed they were that i liked sam winchester when i started spn

[musicalmoritz]

“ADA Dazai” this, “PM Dazai” that

Shut up

We are never gonna see Bar Lupin Dazai again😔

[rouge-fauna]

I think you’re talking about these posts [here & here], I don’t know if there have been others.

I'm not gonna say what I did was right, you are correct I should probably just not respond to asks getting me to talk about other people. I will say for these two posts those people had already blocked me I’m pretty sure, so it’s kinda hard to talk directly to them in that case. And I was not doing so anonymously and had not blocked them so I wasn’t hiding what I was saying. I did not follow them, I am not part of the innitor community, and not that that makes it right but I do think it is kinda different. Though you make a good point, perhaps we should stop this pattern of responding to asks about other blogs and such.

Still, the biggest thing to me I realized, back in elementary school when I first dealt with this, was that honestly all the time we talk about people behind their back. Talking about people when they aren’t always in the room is kinda just inevitable and part of socializing, however I think the important part is how you are talking about other people. It’s when you are insulting them, talking negatively about them to people they know, spreading false information and so on that it becomes not okay. Hopefully that makes sense.

In these cases I merely focused on the lore. I didn’t insult them or talk shit about them, as a person, as a blog or say their takes were stupid or they are stupid or speculate about their trauma or mental history. I just talked about reasons why I disagreed, or saw things differently and why we might see things differently. They were also not the only ones I saw to say similar things so I think in my mind I was making more of a general discussion, not trying to target them specifically. I didn’t post beyond that about them. But you are right, regardless it was probably not the right way to go about things.

But just to be clear, if I am a hypocrite it is not my intention. I haven’t vague blogged anyone or meant to vague reblog anyone. I think this week is pretty much the first time I’ve ever been not naming, passive aggressively talking about blogs, and even then I’m not trying to insult them, trying to cancel them. I’m just expressing that before you go off about how I’m stupid and unable to have a discussion about it, the very least you could’ve done was give me an opportunity to try.

[cabeswaterdrowned]

haven’t aftgposted in a hot minute but I do want to say that now I’ve had some distance from hyperfixation I can say that I think the most interesting/captivating relationships from it to me in order are Kevin/Andrew, Andrew & Nicky, Andrew & Renee, Andreil and Renee/Dan

[eddiemunsonsmum]

Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.

*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*

No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.

[vynnyal]

Unga bunga these take 3 hrs to make

[the-knife-consumer]

I feel lame for not having many ocs tbh. Whatever i do what i want forever

[vellichorom]

You absolutely don't deserve it with the mischaracterization. :(

All the ocs you make are so wonderful and full of personality. I'm so sorry they get reduced down to single traits or made fun of.

I personally love checking in with your blog seeing your ocs.

They may not be my absolutely favorite ocs of all time. But I can still tell the thought you put into them!!

Keep drawing them if they make you happy!

huuu hweeb..... thank youou........ that genuinely means a lot to hear,

i feel very bashful referring to thierry AS an OC ( although let's face it, he's Pretty Much my OC by this point or very easily could be ) but GOD. it's like...

as i began to rise in popularity, i noticed a very Significant escalation in my narrator being used as the butt of numerous jokes; painted as this slobbish pig, horrible person nobody can stand to be around be it for attitude or " smell " & just get treated TERRIBLY. numerous asks getting sent to me asking if he bathes or describing him as someone who doesn't, numerous other jokes painting him as this homely bum or incompetent-

fucking sad-ist themselves referring to thierry as homeless-lookinh at least twice to my face,

getting kicked around by people & characters in roleplay alike & just! so disrespected & reduced to jokes, mischaracterized to hell & back & having this be assumed as his canon. it's genuinely upsetting.

& it's like, yeah- this is the fandom that sees the narrator as ONLY a twink sexyman, i GUESS anything else that breaches the norm wouldn't be nearly as respected, but my god !!!!!! i seriously wonder if some people think i created thierry's design as a joke, to LOOK homely or unrespectable, to BE the punching bag for everyone else.

when in reality, i'm just sharing my perspective, made with love & dedication, with other people & it's getting shit on for reasons i'm not even sure about, & it makes ME feel terrible as a creator & feel bad about my interpretation. THANKFULLY, this isn't everyone & this perspective IS very well loved & i do appreciate that from everyone who's ever made that known - INCLUDING YOU ANON, it means SO much more than i can say & especially in these harder periods.

but it seems like now thierry's gotten this reputation AS a joke, AS lesser than the character he's supposed to be, so stuck to him as a character that it's hard for ME, the creator, to chase? even if it's been awhile since anyone's directly made a " huehue stinky " joke at me.

& it sounds so STUPID being mad about that when i type this out, but the reality is that people are taking unfunny stupid jokes & using that to characterize MY character rendition & impression of him & to see that is EXTREMELY DISCOURAGING.

this isn't even the first i've had to address the disrespect i face, this is just the first i've made it public on tumblr. i've had to say how much i hate this treatment at LEAST 3 times in private discord servers & continue to scream over people when they insist upon it otherwise. it's REALLY made me unhappy to be apart of this fandom in the latter half of my being here,

but. i'm not going to let that get me down forever, i know i won't.

just, you know? if there's anything to take from this? be nice about people's characters & make your jokes ( if so the creator allows ) but don't act like that's all the character is reduced to, & listen when a creator tells you stuff about them & don't reduce them down to whatever trait you think is funniest for the meme ???? just be respectful ?????

[mugmegan]

I am really happy that the last Touka fanart I made got notes from a lot of great TG blogs, because I recognize a lot of them already since the fandom is small nowadays. Its nice to see everyone, especially people I already reblogged posts from or follow. Its nice to see blogs I havent discovered too.

But man... I am restraining myself so hard from just going on a reblog spree. I am trying to keep the brainrot in just a little while longer until I do a manga reread and make an entire sideblog dedicated to it probably.

[brbabcs]

the compliments are all his: a gus/max dynamic analysis, based on canon and what we can deduce from it. (please take this with a grain of salt, these are just my personal viewpoints and what i see as far as canon goes, as well as what i've been able to knit together into what i believe to be reasonable assumptions.)

"what are we now, but voices who promise each other a life neither one can deliver? not for a lack of wanting, but wanting won't make it so. we cling to a vine at the cliff's edge. there are tigers above and below. let us love one another and let go."    ───   eliza griswold, tigers.

as far as canon goes (and setting personal headcanons aside) we know from what little we learn about max, that he was raised in a survival based environment. he very clearly states that gus rescued him from the santiago slums. in the time period they'd be set in, the slums had almost no resources, and it's pretty easily deduced that max, at the very least, had an unstable living situation. we never clearly get a confirmation nor denial that gus was the one to propose the business model of los pollos hermanos/the fring empire, but i think it's not a reach to assume that he was, based on the behaviors we witness in gus climbing the ladder in canon, as well as the lack of resources and circumstances max was factually in to begin with. this, coupled with what we witness from max in hermanos, doesn't necessarily lead me to believe that max was the catalyst nor the mastermind behind the initial idea (although i don't believe that he was absent in the formative process of it all by far).

we also witness an extraordinary amount of composure (and also, in contrast, a lack thereof towards the end) and displays of vulnerability within his conversation with eladio. he is clearly distressed decently early on in the interaction, yet carries himself quite well: and i think it's not too far off to assume that, considering the way he grew up, this is not a foreign power dynamic to him, although it may be something he hasn't experienced in quite some time when we account for the amount of time that gus and max have spent together. he communicates in an openly passionate regard when he discusses chemistry, he isn't very concealed about his emotions (despite not letting them hinder him in the conversation until things begin to escalate), and even when we witness him begin to devolve, he vouches for gustavo fring as a human being, before a business asset: regardless of how we can deduce out that he understands the motive and power dynamics in this organized crime setting.

i think it isn't too much of a reach to think that gus and max contrast each other on surface level/first glance. gus is reserved, and much more meticulous in any displays of emotion (although we do see how this falters more in the hermanos flashback and how it escalates and increases the farther down the timeline we get). in comparison, max is not like this even from the very beginning. and in this high emotion, tense moment, he acts instinctively and (subconsciously or otherwise) reveals his internal list of priorities. we see this raw, intense, not fully thought out panic, and to put it simply: when you start to strip all the composure away, people reveal themselves. intentionally or otherwise. gus loses his composure after max dies, and we witness the instinctive, raw, emotional and devastating understanding of loss. we both see them down to their bare bones of priorities and mentalities in this moment, and it could be argued that it is potentially the most clear moment displayed from gus in general.

from what we know, max was a young, driven, yet wildly intelligent individual who was just as equally trapped by his circumstances to not do much with any of it. yet, throughout these unstable and most likely unsafe upbringings and settings, that brilliance or humanity doesn’t falter or fail in any way. with gus paying for max's education, and their business model in mind, gus aligns similarly here as he does in any other dynamic: with a business focused mindset and an end goal in mind. more than anything, gustavo fring has, and always will (though perhaps not to this degree) encourage excellence. we canonically see as he invests — long term — into individuals who are strikingly capable in whatever manner we see it in. we witness gale boetticher, who has been given this scholarship and even a lab to practice that capability of his. we witness mike ehrmantraut, who, despite the “bad-choice-road” that he takes, is given finances to the fullest degree for the job he provides, without any threat of it being taken away from his family. we even witness the beginnings of something similar with jesse pinkman, and regardless of whether or not those actions/behaviors in their dynamic were a manipulative move or otherwise, gus very openly says he “likes to think that he sees things in people”.

when we have this young, brilliant, and entirely doomed to circumstances that he was born into person such as max arciniega, it becomes impossible to believe that gus, in any degree, could simply walk away from that. max exists in a realm of life that attempts to hinder and dissipate the extremely human pieces of him, yet he doesn’t allow it to. his resilience is vivid, and clear, and we witness this in hermanos itself. most in max's position would have macheted away their humanity. but here, we see something of an opposite: where he clings onto it so tightly in a refusal, and rebellion, to succumb in any way to his circumstances. the weight of what this means and how in these early years, it’s (most likely) only being nurtured by max, himself, gives it a depth almost immediately as it’s perceived. gus is an insightful man, who is very emotionally intelligent, and the understanding of the world not handling any of these traits with care would be only encouragement and, in some way, a challenge, to open gus’ eyes to the value and beauty of what being a person can mean in even the worst moments; as well as understanding (in a “chess-master” mindset of playing the long game) what it would mean to nurture it further.

regardless of that prevailing humanity, max clearly doesn’t hold guilt or shame towards the crime he enacts or participates in. he seems incredibly proud of the meth he's cooked, and the processes within it. he doesn't shy away from the spotlight at all, and speaks very eagerly (as well as passionately) about it. whenever gus’ business proposal was set out onto the table, it is impossible for someone like max to not consider it in a very real and serious way from the get-go. it’s a secure way out: there is a tangible light at the end of the tunnel being presented to him, and not in a way that he views as a part of the cycle he has either been in previous (if we are to assume their relationship came first) or was currently in (if we are to assume their relationship came second, which is what i'm inclined to lean towards when we consider the timeline and who they both are as individuals background wise) — despite it still being so, regardless. in a similar light, gus, presumably, is looking to climb the latter. he is reaching for larger heights, and he is looking very clearly for a way up. considering the amount of survival tactics that exist within the realm of being in the santiago slums, we can assume that there is a survival mode max has set into. this, coupled with his lack of guilt that we see canonically, intentionally or otherwise, is what i believe drives him forward in this dynamic and allows an acceptance to things that a great majority would not be alright with.

gus presents a way up, and max leans into it, because he is perceiving this as a way out (or a measure of security in a dog-eat-dog world sort of mentality that very easily spawns from being raised in the circumstances he was in, if we are to think about this in a light of their relationship coming secondary). in truth, despite the two being different to one another, and even seeing the initial business proposal differently, it does boil down to becoming the same thing. the complexities and nuance of max’s history and upbringing skews the reliability of the perspectives here, and their goals align. this is a clearly life-changing connection for both of them. from what we see, they have differences in their mentalities, and also who they are as people, but are deeply aligned enough in their goals and morals (or, rather, lack thereof) that it's easy to assume that their dynamic is fluid. most commonly in relationships, we see stumbles and fumbles through it in the differences of end goals, but here, that doesn't seem to have been an issue from what we can deduce out. it’s a natural push and pull, with an understanding for each other that would only deepen with time. despite their differences, their “light at the end of the tunnel” is the same, in some way.

this isn’t to say i believe they didn't disagree, or didn't have moments of tension or upset with each other, but more to say that both were moving in tandem with one another. they seem to have strived for the same result. this kind of fluidity would only naturally bridge them together to have an “unbreakable” bond. outside of their relationship, they are both extremely willing to go the extra mile to achieve what they want to. canonically speaking, gus climbs the latter by any means possible, max drives himself forward through a degree to achieve this business model. it’s only natural that inside of their relationship, they would do the very same. gus witnesses this potential and is naturally inclined to provide for max, and as max begins to flourish and grow within these given circumstances, whilst challenging gus (both in his perspective on humanity and in allowing himself to be a person), there'd naturally be a very steady incline to them working in tandem with each other, and eventually allowing their end goals to center around a life with one another in these ideal, and heightened, circumstances.

gus gives so much from so early on, with max having received so little previous to him, and it begins to compile and stack onto each other into these layers that would only build their relationship up and up and up — without any real shatter to bring it back down to a more grounded place. there would be no true break in the illusion of the heights they place each other at, and even more than that, would enable them to increasingly raise each other up to grandiose heights. this fluid, easy, perceived-healthiness component to their relationship through their alignment in goals and morals (or, rather, lack thereof) places the perspective into a honeymoon-phase adjacent viewpoint as far as what i would assume, and can see canonically.

considering the degree of aftermath in what we see both in breaking bad and better call saul, max and gus had to have been, in some degree, codependent. we witness, even in hermanos, how max transforms and corrects himself in the statement of "he... that is to say, we, could think of no other way to get your attention", and stands hand in hand (metaphorically speaking) in this stumble of the conversation: fluidly aligning himself with gus instinctively. however, most commonly, we see that codependency or romanticization as a way to cope with the unhealthy or toxic pieces of the dynamic; or even more than that, a way to cope with themselves. in contrast, within the context of what we know and can deduce out from gus and max’s relationship, both are given every reason to see each other in this very heightened way.

max provides in one way, gus provides in another, and with a lack of guilt involved, any uglier pieces of their life become factors in the equation that, while not denied, would not really be truly important to either of them in the way they perceive each other. they clearly center each other in their lives to some degree, and while their world most likely would have been relatively small in terms of personal connections (social circumstances, friend groups, etc) due to the line of work and realm of life they are in, it would also feel vastly infinite. that kind of love would work as this vivid outpour of pure sunlight and warmth, and while it is incredibly beautiful, it is also blinding. they'd naturally saturate their lives with this untouchable feeling in their dynamic to such a degree that it would hinder their ability to see that while they are infallible and infinite in their relationship, they are not to the rest of the world.

with all of that said, hermanos shows us the moment in which the untouchable bond belief begins to dissolve away, and the trust becomes unsteady, as well as their lack of alignments in certain areas and differences in how they navigate the world become incredibly present. we witness max walk into this scenario, with an amount of preparation and presumably insight to what it means to be in this environment. he (presumably) has an amount of personal experience that allows an insight that gus seems to not hold. we see max tune hector out, and speak carefully. he doesn’t argue, push back, or even devolve outrightly until the panic is so unbearable that it bleeds outward with little to no restraint — yet still, remaining careful in his approach because of what i'd assume to be the understanding he holds. max bargains through submission, despite him not succumbing to anything in his upbringing. he understands just how fragile the both of them are in that moment, and we witness the panicked (and pressured) attempt to not allow a full shatter to occur. 

still, the trust in this dynamic prevails. max shares the space to allow gus to explain, and be the businessman that max endlessly and very openly vouches for him to be. regardless, we also see an internal battle. we see the love, trust, and devotion, battling against the survival mentality and understanding of a dog-eat-dog world. the push and pull presents itself differently, with gus saying “with all due respect,” and then giving a non-apology of “i apologize if you are offended by my method of obtaining this meeting”, and excusing himself away, and max being incapable of concealing the dread that follows. gus pushes with those statements, and max pulls back with saying that they "meant no disrespect”. he testifies to the cartel’s importance and ego, and attempts to create value. their differences, from what i believe and can see, have been what previously surged them forward. here, it becomes what hinders them. gus is almost confused, but relatively calm, as max spirals into a very open display of panic. the shatter is unavoidable. the misalignments cannot be morphed into a strength.

above all, what i believe appealed to gus and what i believe carried their dynamic forward to begin with, is also what i believe we see from max in the very end. he speaks to gus’ character, devotion, and loyalty, before ever uttering a word about anything business related. max’s viewpoint on the world, and his resilient humanity is actively clear and displayed. he is in the midst of an extremely tense, dangerous circumstance, and we witness the instinct of his equally gorgeous, and equally painful, humanity surge forward in a testament not even for himself, but to gus and their trust (and by extension, their love). that is what is most important to max. it speaks on not only how max viewed the world, but how max viewed gus, as well. they become two halves of a whole, in these heightened and nearly religious perspectives (especially when we consider the narrative of a "righteous vengeance" quest we witness later on), and it is incredibly visible to the degree that he speaks on him in. max could very well plea for his life, or throw gus under the bus. in a survival mindset, that’s what i believe most would do, otherwise. but there is too much love, trust, care, and devotion. he places gus on a pedestal, and it speaks volumes to what their dynamic not only is in that moment, but also every other one as well. the composure strips away, the illusion shatters, but the bond they hold is what stays standing: even after max is long gone.

max’s last moments are with these future-dead-men, who navigate their lives in a way that he does not seem to embody by far, and even more than that, surged forward against. but regardless of him dying so young, and irrefutably tragically, he still obtains a relief (however temporary) that no one else in this story was truly allowed. nacho varga and jesse pinkman are thrown to the wolves continually, and ruthlessly. they do not have a chance to breathe, or recoup. their choices are hardly even choices, in the end. but maximino arciniega made the decision to walk into this era of his life and live to the fullest degree, in whatever wrong or right manner that may be. he attended and graduated university, he went on vacations, he spent years of his life in presumably a domestic bliss (however skewed or heightened of a perspective it may have been). he was loved: deeply and endlessly by gus, and he loved him just as much right back. his last moments are an incredible show, in such a short amount of time, of exactly why gus was drawn to him to begin with, and a refusal to allow any of the present (or past) threats to take his heart and mangle it into anything other than what it is. he refuses to reduce gus’ life as a offer of business first and foremost. he speaks of loyalty, and the mention of making millions is almost an afterthought. he makes his choices, the same way as he’s been doing his entire life, and does not allow the world, nor these future-dead-men, to hinder or shrink the love that he holds within him. 

max may die in the end, and gus may be the only man to carry on that love on in the pursuit of revenge we witness, but every choice max made, echoes right back into every one that gus does. he is both long gone, and infinitely present. he is both a ghost, and yet always alive: living in every space that gustavo fring inhabits. the biggest tragedy within gus and max’s story (to me) is not just the rare love that they hold for each other, but the fact that gus was able to have this wholly human, wonderfully natural dynamic with a man who loved gus infinitely, and in a strikingly vulnerable and beautiful way to the very end. it is not the fact that gus loved someone that is the most devastating piece of the story. it is that max loved him, (for and regardless of whatever crimes or atrocities that occurred) that is. gus believed that what he held with max was irreplaceable, and infinitely special; he heightened it considerably and in immense heights. but with all of this considered, for someone like him, and someone like max, can we truly blame him for doing so?