#my first and last sub bts fic LOL

[izuom]

favorite kpop group(s) tag game!

tagged by : @writingmochi thank you for the tag lissie!! (and ofc for always having me included in these!)

sorry i cuss a lot

who is your favourite kpop group?

oh boy.. i hope i’m able to answer this without having to list down more than 10+ groups all at once (i’m being serious) but if having favs that you’re constantly updated to then : bts, txt, le sserafim, enhypen, nct dream, riize & aespa!

which member sparked your interest first?

i’m having the toughest time now but here we go

bts : JUNGKOOK! who else other than our used one of the main rappers (WE LOST TO RAPPER JUNGKOOK BEFORE 2015 AND IM STILL BITTER but out of honesty that sadnesses washed away the moment when he decided to birth outro : love is not over and let’s just say i’ve never been fine since then) bro has been an all-rounder since day one and to that he was the one that made me to discover bts (touché)

txt : yeonjun (duh) i was once a bts popper so the moment we were getting a new boy group under bh i just knew i had to check them out. i mean yeonjun is literally every moa’s first love so it’s almost understandable for him to be the first member for you to be interested to LOL

le sserafim : huh to the yunjin (are we serious? that woman slayed on her first day job) it’s mesmerising to see that source music *blood coughing* decided to give us a closure…………… but miss it girl yunjin, duh she’s a starstruck i know it’s getting out of the phrase but i’ll always be grateful that she becomes an idol. the world (read kpop) wouldn’t be the same without her existence. 

enhypen : SUNGHOON!!!!! ON AN ICE RINK!!!! SKATING!!!!! LIKE ???? IVE NEVER SEEN AN IDOL WHO WERE AN ICE SKATER BEFORE LIKE ??? THATS THE MOST PUREST BEAUTIFUL FORM SOMEONE COULDVE BE???

nct dream : mark! bc he was one of the members that were introduced first as part of the nct u sub-unit. i first watched him performing the 7th sense debut performance on music bank and was surprised to see him in the other remaining sub-unit under sm (but then i figured it out that nct IS a group that consists few sub-unit) (i was confused, still am)

riize : wonbin. any attractive man with long hair never not makes me HOOKED on a first sight. he’s majestic. AS HELL. he plays the guitar very well too?? 

aespa : karina!! also i think this was everyone’s normal occurrences of having karina as the first member that sparked your interest in aespa bc same. i only know her first in aespa like she’s mentioned in every fic or edit or on stan twt like… she’s everywhere it’s crazy. (the power she holds)

who was your first bias?

INTERESTING

bts : hoseok. man do we need to replay my first love? HE WAS THE MAN OF MY LIFE.

txt : soobin,, ARE WE SURPRISE AGAIN 

le sserafim : chaewon! i think the answer is there.

enhypen : sunghoon (forever will) 

nct dream : jisung. bro when i say that i used to have a serious crush on him? 2018 zu was a jisung’s whipped era.

riize : sungchan! 90s love was a life experience. (man decided to just make a cameo and slay as fuck) i know we are suppose to talk about sungchan in riize but he’s my first bias in riize ONLY because i knew him first alongside with shotaro (sungtaro slay) 

aespa : KIM MINJEONG. YOU CANNOT TALK TO ME ON HER. SHE WAS MY FIRST LOVE??? 

who is your current bias?

basically just the same except for bts & nct dream :D

bts : yoongi (i am a joke)

txt : soobin (salute for being this loyal)

le sserafim : chaewon

enhypen : sunghoon

nct dream : renjun (....... surprise surprise)

riize : sungchan (eventho i highly think this won’t last long….fuck)

aespa : ningning

what makes them your current bias?

bts : I KNOW CRAZY. i’ve been there for hobi since 2014 esp around those times when no one was there to appreciate him truly as one of the members (DARK TIMES FOR ME, we do not talk about that) but then 2017 yoongi came in. it’s just something about yoongi himself that soothes my soul in peace. the way he thought of things in his own perspective without disrespecting anybody and the way he’s just a full walking comfort a person could be for anyone, for me particularly. his godly, incredible amount of times he’d shown off his talent in rap, producing and things he’d done. i can talk about yoongi that people wouldn't be able to understand bc he’s so ?? what a person is supposed to be. is there anything to prove why i decided to change a bias? 

txt : when soobin was introduced as the second member of txt (gurl) when i told you that soobin introduction film was… a first love at sight moment, it was true. soobin has been the love of my fucking life since then. actually no there’s so many things that i love about soobin. so many things, it’s unexplainable. i can confidently say that his voice caught me off-guard on a first listen. i know it’s dramatic as hell (ANYTHING I SAY ABOUT MY BIASES ARE SO QUESTIONABLE BUT I AM BEING SERIOUS) he has the rarest vocal on his falsetto? he’s doing it effortlessly too? if that’s not enough to actually prove my point of him being my bias then idk what is. man is majestic as hell too. (BONUS POINT!)

le sserafim : AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH god chaewon… honestly, i wasn’t a wiz*one bc produce 48 was shitty as hell. (I WATCHED EVERY MNET SURVIVAL SHOW EXCEPT FOR THIS) neither do i like the final debut lineup for iz*one. i just couldn’t pinpoint what was missing but that’s not the point of that rn. well. for me, i think the majority of people would have agreed with me about this but chaewon is better off with le sserafim. (AUDIENCE GASP) i COULD NEVER say that she caught my attention even the tiniest bit when she was in iz*one, but she did ON A FIRST SIGHT OF HER DEBUT IN LE SSERAFIM. the way that she kept on improving and i didn’t even know that she can dance so well???? (this woman is literally everyone’s type and it’s FUCKING understandable) i watched their documentary too and i love her even much more than i should’ve? i think having chaewon as my bias, it’s emotional. i am emotionally attached to her and i don’t want to seek therapy. 

enhypen : *internally crying, hysterically screaming* are we ready to hear the part of me losing almost entirely of my sanity? i was away from home for the first time for my college, and never really bothered to get updated with my kpop life. those days were.. hectic (as everyone did) but long short story i was on tiktok, at my room, at home since for so long, AFTER my hectic first sem and i just so happened to stumble upon a sunghoon edit on an ice rink, skating WITH THE TIMOTHEE TREND SONG (2020 WAS 4 YEARS AGO TOO?? GOD) AND IM LIKE ??? WHO IS THIS? I NEED TO KNOW WHO IS HE. yk i haven’t watched iland yet at that time (and probably shouldn’t so that i wouldn’t have to endure the trauma that show gave me), and only decided to watch it bc of him. I JUST LOVE LOVE skater park sunghoon a lot more than myself (that should be considered as normal btw) and i never regretted checking out on iland bc if i don’t i wouldn’t have known just how unique his talent is? you can ACTUALLY tell he has the most unique way of dancing, as if he’s dancing with every bit of his skating method and combining it to his dancing style and it’s just ?? beautiful… god park sunghoon i love him a lot.

nct dream : crying as i type this, i love renjun a lot. man is so demonically pure. i haven’t been on nct shit for SO LONG until last year (only applicable for nct dream) and i am attached as shit as they wanted me to be. i think re-stanning nct dream (i will say this forever if i’ve to prove how much they mean to me) was the peak of the third quarter of my life last year. but as for renjun, he’s just so easy to love? for me, his own persona to things as a person always never makes me so deeply attached. (like the fucking loser i am) renjun have a lot of things you can say a lot of things to, like his vocals? (ik you can confidently say that sm has the most vocals out of that shitty company) but i LOVE to listen to his voice. he’s singing with his emotions and my soul thaws in silence every time. HES ALSO SO ROMANTIC LIKE??? MAN CASUALLY JUST ASKED HIS TEAMMATES TO HAVE A MATCHING FRIENDSHIP RINGS LIKE? 

riize : as for sungchan, i think i'm still learning about him. I know i’ve seen him a few times (more than 10 times on screen as for the appearance of the inkigayo and being part of nct) but i still have a lot of things to learn before i can list things down. (gurl you’re in love with another member)

aespa : i love everything about ning yizhuo. i honestly have no idea how i changed my bias but i could never say no to people who can sing well. her vocals?? i can listen to her singing on a daily basis. shes a stunner, a mother=my type. well, her whole existence stands out the most when i first discovered aespa. i just love ningning, she’s so loveable, i love her except for she idolized that one problematic rat. 

who is your bias wrecker

bts : i love them all equally. (jungkook)

txt : taehyun. stfu 

le sserafim : kazuha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love my woman a ballerina 

enhypen : jungwon. 

nct dream : zhong chenle (hes so attractive???????????)

riize : eunseok 

aespa : minjeong……………………

which member are you currently obsessing that aren’t your bias/bias wrecker

bts : i’ll skip them (they be on military, i’ve no one to be obsessed to recently)

txt : beomgyu. (DAEGU MEN STAY AWAY FROM ME)

le sserafim : YUNJIN. she needs to stop 

enhypen : heeseung. i think i’ve problems with the 01 liner. 

nct dream : none i guess. (i'm still obsess with renjun)

riize : ….. sohee. i think out of the groups, sohee has the most valid reasons and i'm fully to blame for this. i watched the lee hyori’s red carpet to their sampled track of love 119 (THEIR BEST SONG YET WHAT THE FUCK) which is none other than the infamous emergency room ost AND WHEN I TELL YOU IVE BEEN OBSESSED SINCE. and that obsession didn’t stop there, i decided to check more to his vocals compilation and i stumbled upon his predebut covers… WORSE: his sofa cover has been playing on my mind all day since i first heard of it, it’s unhealthy. i’m gonna k word myself 

aespa : none too. 

when did you first discover the group?

bts : 2014. boy in luv was a superior era. 

txt : 2019…. that guessing the morse code at the end of introduction films of every member's era? good old days

le sserafim : on their debut

enhypen : end month of september 2020! (funfact : enhypen was formed on my birthday) 

nct dream : on their debut (them hoverboard era)

riize : on their debut days

aespa : early year 2022 (embarassing as fuck)

have you ever been to one of their concerts?

bts : gurl, no. they did a tour for the red bullet on june 2015? THAT ONE TIME ONLY. what did you expect from me? to go? i was 13. 

txt : they don’t even know my country exists? so no. 

le sserafim : no. (hybe better put malaysia when they do tour one day or else im burning down the whole building as it should’ve)

enhypen : no. (they skipped us.) 

nct dream : they did a tour last year in may…… but miss girl decided to only stan them back in june and was obsessed and mentally ill for not attending. (ONLY BC I AM NOT A FAN) i was late to the party, im sorry and now they be skipping us. 

riize : no. 

aespa : ???????? NO

what are some of your favourite songs by this group? 

i’ll list 10 songs!

bts : butterfly / dimple / coffee / love is not over (full length version) / epilogue : young forever / pied piper / outro : do you think it makes sense? / the truth untold ft steve aoki / spring day / hold me tight 

txt : 20cm / dear sputnik / 0X1=lovesong (i know i love you) ft seori / maze in the mirror / ghosting / skipping stones / fairy of shampoo / blue orangeade / farewell, neverland / eternally 

le sserafim : impurities / easy / perfect night / no celestial / antifragile / smart / blue flame / swan song / good parts (when the quality is bad but i am) / sour grapes

enhypen : just a little bit / criminal love / mixed up / chaconne / not for sale / blockbuster ft yeonjun of tomorrow x together / shout out / blind / given-taken / bills

nct dream : dive into you / teddy bear / 7 days / boom / my youth / better than gold / dunk shot / arcade / poison / love again

riize : …. i’ll list from most to least fav (I LOVE ALL OF THEIR SONGS) love 119 / talk saxy / get a guitar / memories  

aespa : lucid dream / dreams come true / drama / thirsty / next level / life’s too short / don’t blink / i’m unhappy / illusion / better things 

tagging : @my313 (no pressure bestie!) / anyone who want

[foxymoxynoona]

i know you didn’t ask for my opinion but… i actually prefer named oc’s than y/n’s, and im so happy that you mostly write fics with names oc’s!!! there’s not a lot of those… so what i usually do when i read bts fics with y/n’s or “____” (to insert your own name), i usually have a placeholder female celeb for each member, instead of imagining myself as the female lead 😅😅 think of it as me watching a tv show starring bts!! that’s why named oc’s are more preferable to me 🥰🥰

(for example, halle bailey is usually who i pair jimin with in y/n fics)

I always love discussions about this. I know my readers over-index on OC-preferrers because that's mostly what I write. I had never seen the YN-insert thing until I joined this fandom but it is BY FAR the most represented, I see way fewer ocs. It's so interesting how people approach it! Mentally if I read a YN, it isn't me either, I just sub in Yuna or Yun as a name and it's still a complete character in my head, not me. As opposed to if there's a story where I wanted to self-insert into the main character for whatever reason, I just do that, doesn't matter to me if there's a name there or not LOL, I think the last time I did that was reading the first book of Outlander 😁, just call me Claire for a book thanks. I also have no problem "being" in the head of a main character who is nothing at all like me, I actually love "being" a character for a story who isn't much like me. I also know there are readers who very much use reader insert to play out a mental fantasy/scenario and that's awesome too! I learned so much writing a YN, and also about how alienating this experience can be for readers when characters who are still coded for certain details (ilke race or nationality or even dominant personality traits.)

I loved the psychological part of my narrative ethics course in college that talked about this kind of thing.

Halle Bailey as a face-claim for a Jimin romance is so good!

[winetae]

⇾ all that is gold (m)

⇁ female reader x taehyung

⇁ smut, angst || roommate!au + sugar baby!au

⇁ sub!taehyung, skype sex, masturbation, orgasm denial, possessiveness, slight breath play, oral sex, dirty talk, thigh riding, tae ends up sort of a switch? idk

⇁  11.2k

. . .

As a college student struggling to make ends meet, Taehyung resorts to a less than ethical method to satisfy his appetite for expensive treats. The last thing he wants is for you to find out how he acquires the Gucci in his closet… however this proves to be difficult when you are his roommate.

↳ or : Taehyung is a sugar baby and somehow thinks he can keep this a secret

a/n; ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

.

“Tae, a package arrived for you earlier this morning,” he hears you say, a piece of toast dangling between your teeth.

At your words, he almost chokes on his coffee, the hot liquid scalding his tongue.

Taehyung watches you scramble for your textbooks, muttering a number of colorful curses under your breath, and breathes a sigh of relief. He’s constantly worried that you’ll start asking what his frequent packages contain, or worse… that you’ll start to question who sends them to him.

“Maybe it’s time to invest in an alarm clock,” he advises, hiding his amused smile behind his mug of coffee.

“Fuck you,” you glare. He’s known you long enough to know your irritation isn’t faked, but it’s hard for him to take you seriously when you have crumbs sprinkled over the corner of your lips. “You know I’ve tried everything.”

“You have.” The thin walls separating your rooms make it impossible for him to ignore the ten different alarms you’ve set up every two minutes to help you wake up. Maybe a lesser roommate would have thrown a fit, but Taehyung isn’t really one to whine. There are worse songs to wake up to, and besides he enjoys eating breakfast with you. Over the past year the both of you had slipped into a comfortable routine: he would make the coffee and you would prepare the food. You’re not the greatest chef, but Taehyung never complains, especially when he himself can’t be trusted with the stove.

“Hey, come here,” he motions you over with a wave.

“What is it now?” you huff, slipping on your shoes. He wonders if he should point out your socks don’t match. “I’m late, Tae.”

“Just a sec.” He watches you reluctantly walk over, heavy bag weighing down one of your shoulders. Your face is slightly pink and freshly scrubbed clean, hair still damp. He likes you best like this—fresh, all softness and no edges.

He smiles and leans in close enough to smell the scent of your jasmine soap. Taehyung knows you’re in a hurry but he can’t resist taking his time, fingers slowly brushing away the leftover traces of your toast. The pads of his fingertips linger against your soft lips for a second too long, and he has to force himself to swallow down his feelings. Only the sheer force of will makes him pull back, his hand falling uselessly to his side. It’s not even been a minute and he already misses the proximity.

Taehyung hopes nothing in his face gives it away.

“There. Wouldn’t want you to go to class with food all over your face.”

You huff, rubbing the bottom of your face with your sleeve.

“Whatever.” With another glance to your watch, you wince. “Ah, fuck, I’m really late. I’ll see you later tonight, okay? Like we planned?”

“Mmhm,” he nods, watching you scamper away, not bothering to hide his amusement. “Sure thing, doll. I’ll see you tonight.”

As soon as the door closes behind you, Taehyung springs up, ready to retrieve his package. Usually he makes sure to wake up earlier than you, not wanting you to intercept it and start asking unwanted questions. He doesn’t like lying, but he doesn’t want you to find out the truth either. More than anything, he’s scared of how you will react.

When the brown box finally makes its way into his hands, the first thing he notices is that it’s smaller than the previous one he received three days ago. He weighs the parcel in his hands, impatient and eager to find out what she’s sent him this time. The size of his gifts never matter to him because he knows each of them are probably more than he deserves.

As much as he likes be dotted on, the ridiculous sums of money he’s been showered in still make him slightly uncomfortable. Even so, he can’t help himself from eyeing the contents of the box, his curiosity outweighing the guilt that slowly eats away his insides. He has an unreasonable appetite for pretty, expensive treats. His desires make him forget about the side effects, even though he knows his obsession with acquiring the unobtainable is unhealthy. With every new costly addition to his growing collection of leathers and furs, he lets himself be seduced by the opulence and delicacies only money can obtain.

Hidden beneath the white tissue paper, a delicate velvet choker lined with platinum and diamonds sits in its center. Taehyung gulps audibly, wondering how much a thing must cost.

Just then, as if sensing his awe, he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. Without looking, he picks up the call, already knowing who it might be.

“Do you like it?” her honeyed voice greets him. Although this is far from the first time she’s called him, his heart rate still picks up and his mouth goes dry.

She hasn’t called in a while, long enough for him to start wondering if she had finally gotten bored of him, if someone more interesting had managed to capture her attention.

“Of course I do,” he answers, index finger smoothing over the thin strip of fabric.

He has never owned a choker before, not even the ones made out of cheap polyester easily purchasable online. And this—this he would probably never be able to afford, not even if he emptied out his measly savings and saved up for months.

Not only does it look like something out of a fashion catalog, it feels expensive.

Still, despite it being months since this arrangement has taken place, he could never get used to the incredible amounts of money spent on him.

What had started out as relatively small gifts—an assortment of crisp bow ties and a Gucci wallet—had soon become piles of leather jackets and silk chemises.

Now when Taehyung opens his closet, it’s bursting with an eclectic mixture of designer button downs and worn-in sweaters, the bold prints clashing with the rest of his faded clothes.

“I thought you would like it… When I saw it, I knew it would look pretty on you. It’s vintage.” He imagines her meticulously picking out the choker just for him and bites back his smile, even though he’s alone in his room and no one is there to witness how much the thought pleases him. “Can you try it on for me?”

“Mhmm,” he immediately agrees, trying to unclasp the choker with one hand while still keeping the phone pressed to his ear. After a minute of struggling he manages to slip the material around his neck. He moves in front of his floor-length mirror to appraise himself and—oh.

“How does it look?”

“It’s…” He swallows thickly, feels the black velvet wrap around his neck snugly. “Tight.”

She hums, seemingly distracted. “Is that so?”

“It’s nice,” he hurriedly adds on, not wanting to seem ungrateful. He wishes he was more verbose and could tell her how much he likes it, how much he appreciates it. But he has nothing to offer her other than his sincerity. “It’s pretty.”

The word pretty doesn’t do it justice. The shade of midnight stands out against his golden skin, the diamonds sparkling like tiny stars. It makes his neck look longer, more delicate. Even though the fit is snug, the material doesn’t irritate his skin. He feels like a different person, more luxurious and sophisticated, like the version of himself he wishes he could be.

“I want you to show me how pretty it looks,” she instructs. Her voice is never harsh or demanding, but there’s something about it that makes his spine stand straight. “Can you do that for me?”

“Yes, yes,” he hurriedly complies, not wanting to displease her. “Ah… Do you want me to take a picture?”

“I think…” He can hear the ruffling of papers on the other end of the phone. “I think I have enough time right now to video chat.”

His eyes widen. It’s been a while since they last saw each other, and even longer since they used skype to communicate… On a normal day, she enjoys teasing him endlessly, sometimes pushing him to the point of tears. Overall, Taehyung enjoys their sessions, likes the way the sex is so drastically different from everything he’s ever experienced.

“Alright. Hold on, let me get my laptop.” It takes a moment before he can sit back comfortably on his bed, laptop perched on his lap. He waits for her okay so he can disconnect the call.

As he waits for her to call him back on skype, he starts to feel self-conscious. He looks down at his outfit and regrets not changing. The shirt he has on is an old thing he likes to sleep in—a plain white tee with a coffee stain near the collar that he has never figured out how to get rid of. His eye bags are prominent from lack of sleep and no screen filter could probably mask those shadows completely. He’ll never admit it, but Taehyung usually spends hours picking out the right clothes when he has to visit her. Today he doesn’t have that kind of time to spare. He doesn’t want to keep her waiting, especially if she’s calling him during her work hours, but he’s afraid his appearance will disappoint her.

It’s not the first time he contemplates why such a sophisticated and dignified woman would spend her time and money on a broke college student who doesn’t even have the rest of his life figured out. At first it had been insanely flattering, but as time passed and the amount of gifts kept increasing, it was impossible not to start feeling just a little bit inadequate and undeserving. With her endless supply of money and those sharp, exotic features, Taehyung is positive she could easily find someone more suited to her level.

His musings are interrupted by the skype ringtone that echoes loudly in the closed space of his room. Her face lights up his screen and he drinks in her features greedily. As usual, she is well put together; not a hair is out of place—the silky strands held back in a tight ponytail.

“Oh, that does look nice,” she says in lieu of greeting, her dark eyes fixed on her newest present. “I knew it would.”

Her eyelashes are doubled with black mascara, the sharp black lines accentuating the intensity of her stare.

“Thank you,” he looks down, not able to meet her strong gaze. “I mean, thanks for the gift. You didn’t have to.”

“I know,” she smiles, resting her chin in her hands. “I wanted to see you wear it. You suit Cartier.”

He’s not sure if he does. The miniature diamonds look out of place on him, especially with the shirt he has on. But he wants to believe her words, wants to believe that such an extravagant piece belongs on his neck.

“It’s a bit much.” He fidgets, stretching his hand to tug on the material around his neck. “We haven’t done anything lately…”

It’s what bothers him the most. There’s supposed to be an exchange of some kind, but Taehyung is the only one receiving.

“Stop thinking that way,” she admonishes, rolling her eyes playfully. “I wanted to treat you… I know you’ve been working hard.”

“Yeah…” He chews the inside of his cheek, trying to cast aside the guilty feelings that bubble in his stomach. He knows he’s not obliged to give her services for every present she decides to spoil him with, but Taehyung lives by the principle of give and take. And with every gift somehow more luxurious than the last, the balance between the both of them keeps tipping.

“Why don’t you show me how thankful you are?” she suggests, leaning back in her chair. “We have some time before my next appointment.”

Appointment?

He’s spent countless hours memorizing the curves and dips of her body that he could name the constellations of beauty marks scattered down her back. Yet, despite knowing her body intimately, Taehyung is always reminded in times like these that he doesn’t know her at all. It’s not the first time he asks himself what kind of occupation she has, what kind of life she lives.

He suddenly takes notice of her surroundings—the white walls, the minimalist decor, the glass panels and high ceilings. It looks like a high-end office in the uptown district, the kind of work place you only see in dramas. His inquisitive nature wants to ask her if she’s calling him during her work hours, but he ends up keeping the question to himself. Even if there are certain boundaries that separate the two of them—unspoken rules, limits that he has imposed upon himself—Taehyung is scared one of these days he’ll toe over those lines. Because even if he is curious, he’s constantly reminded that he doesn’t belong in the world she lives in.

“What do you need me to do?”

His mind races with images of their previous encounters over skype. With her, he’s never sure what she’ll ask him to do… He could be asked to put on a show for her. Her requests are never predictable.

“Hmm,” she tilts her head and leans forward slightly, her cleavage peaking through the opening of her blouse. Taehyung suspects every action of hers is calculated and deliberate, with the sole purpose of rendering him weak. “It’s been a while since we’ve played together… I’ve missed you.”

Taehyung bites his lower lip nervously, wondering what kind of game she wants to play this time.

“I’ve missed you, too.” Taehyung knows those are the words she wants to hear. He thinks they might be true, to some degree. There’s certainly a physical attraction between them. But what they have… He knows it isn’t a real relationship, not in the traditional sense anyway.

“Can you get yourself hard for me? I want to see you.”

Taehyung wipes his clammy palms on his sweatpants. He’s not sure he can get in the right mood. It’s easier to let loose and give in to his base desires when he meets her in fancy hotel suites or in her upscale penthouse. In the confines of his room, sitting across a screen, it’s hard to shift into the persona she wants from him. But he needs to try.

“Don’t worry, baby, I’ll guide you through it. Just follow what I say,” she soothes, her sugary voice encouraging him to relax.

He tries his best to relax and do what she wants.

“It would be better if I could see you in person… We always have so much fun. Last time we played together, you came so hard,” she grins, eyelashes fluttering close. “I still have the stain on my skirt.”

“Y- you didn’t throw it out?”

“Sometimes I’ll wear it to work,” she flashes him a smirk that makes his stomach tighten. “I think of all the ways you begged for me.”

Taehyung isn’t sure if she’s messing around with him. It’s hard to tell with her. She likes to rile him up, mostly because it works every time. Even now, he’s bombarded with images of her walking around an office in her tight black pencil skirt; the faint traces of his orgasm visible to anyone who dared looked closely enough. The fact that someone like her would willingly parade herself stained in his desire makes his skin heat up. He palms himself through the thick material of his sweatpants, closing his eyes, trying to recall the events that occurred the night she let him soil her skirt. Taehyung tries to picture her clothed body an arm’s reach away, teasing him.

“That’s it, just relax,” she coaxes. “I know it’s better when I’m there, but you just have to pretend for now… Hmm, want to know what I would do to you if I was there with you?”

Taehyung nods eagerly in response, adjusting the laptop so she can have a better view of what he is doing. His camera isn’t the best quality but he hopes she can still enjoy the show he’ll put on.

“I would probably tease you over your pants… But my mouth would feel much better than your hand, wouldn’t it? It’s too bad I can’t be there to hear those pretty sounds in person. I love the noises you make just for me.”

The empty promise tempts him, and he barely holds in his groan. He can count the number of times her lips have touched his cock on one hand, despite their countless sessions together. The thought of having something more than just the usual teasing touches makes his member begin to stiffen in his grasp. He quickly pulls down the waistband of his sweats and boxers; he doesn’t even bother to take them completely off—just leaves them bunched up on his thighs.

Taehyung tries to think of ways to make it look sexier but his movements are awkward, his calloused skin rubbing painfully against his shaft. He spits into his palm and uses the wetness to stroke himself off, acutely aware of her intense scrutiny. The feeling isn’t as good as a mouth, but the glide across his hard shaft is smoother than before.

Soon his mind begins to wander… He tries to picture her sitting between his legs, slender fingers replacing his own. With every stroke, he imagines her leaning closer, hot breath tickling his red tip, teasing him further. She would want to hear him, would want to know how much she affects him. With this in mind, Taehyung whimpers loudly for effect, watching his screen between half-closed lids.

He might be mistaken but her breathing sounds a little uneven. “You’re not going to come already, are you?”

He shakes his head. It feels good but Taehyung is greedy and needs more before he can reach his end.

“If I gave you permission, what would you do to me? How would you please me?”

He worries his bottom lip at the unexpected question. What would he do if she was here by his side? He tries to envision her on his bed, hair splayed out on the cushion beneath her. Would she find his mattress too hard? His bed too small? Taehyung doesn’t know what he would do, if he’s being honest. When it comes to her, he’s lost without instructions. He doesn’t dare do anything without being prompted—too concerned she wouldn’t enjoy it.

Things would be different with you, he thinks. Just thinking about you tangled in his sheets, thin tank top riding up to expose your skin, has him gripping his member more firmly.

“I’d kiss your neck,” he manages to say. “Slowly. Gently.”

No biting, just soft kisses into the crook of your neck. He wants to take his time with you, wants to hear your breathing deepen and body squirm in unspoken desire. When he would finally kiss his way back up to your lips, your cheeks would flush a dusty rose color, his name falling prettily from your lips.

“I want to worship your body, spend all my time kissing and licking it until you can’t take it,” he continues, barely aware of her presence anymore.

It’s easy to imagine himself peeling off your shirt. Your skin would be so, so soft under his tongue, his lips, his fingers. He wants to learn what makes you moan, wants to memorize all the different ways that make you cry his name in need.

“I would take my time… And when I finally get to where you need me the most, I would give it to you hard.”

He imagines you wouldn’t need any foreplay, that you would just beg him to sink into you. He knows you would be able to take it, that your pussy was made for his cock. Of course he would give it to you. He would do anything you asked if it meant pleasing you.

Visions of you arching your back, of his hard member sliding in and out of your sopping core, make him twitch into his hand, tip leaking. He’s closer than ever to the edge, fucking into his hand like he would your hot, drenched pussy.

“Keep your eyes on me… You’re doing this for me, remember?” Her voice breaks his trance, and he struggles to keep his eyes fixed on the screen like she desires.

“Don’t come,” she orders in a firm tone.

But the fantasy he’s conjured in his head is still imprinted in the forefront of his mind.

“C-can’t, oh fuck,” he stutters, his hand moving over his slick shaft in determined strokes. “Fuck, I’m gonna–”

“Taehyung!” The sharp warning snaps him out of it. He looks back at the screen, desperation clear in his eyes, forehead matted with sweat. “If you come now, I’ll make sure you eat it up.”

He shudders and digs his fingernails into his palms, trying to ease off the edge. The sharp pinpricks of pain distract him momentarily. He tries to calm down, does his best to even out his breathing, but he can’t focus properly. He’s not sure if it’s another one of her empty threats, but the last thing he wants is for her to watch him eat his own semen. It feels dirty, somehow, and even more so because there’s a depraved part of him that enjoys the act.

He wants to call her bluff, knowing she doesn’t have the time to carry out her threat. He closes his eyes, thinks of you on your knees in front of him, taking him down your throat. For some reason he thinks you wouldn’t like to delay his orgasm. No, you would probably keep swallowing him down, even after he ejaculated into your mouth. You would lick him clean and keep licking, ignoring his protests, until he was fully hard again. Fuck, he would come as many times as you wanted, if it meant having you. He wants you so fucking much.

The muscles in his thighs and lower stomach tense.  It’s the only warning he gets before he explodes—hot, white fluid landing on his stomach, his thighs, the sheets. Sweat drenches the front of his old shirt and he can see the faint outline of his nipples through the damp fabric. He blinks lazily as the fog of lust clears up, realizing his mistake only too late.

“I’m sor—,” he swallows hard, choker constricting him. “I’m sorry. I tried to hold it off b—”

“I don’t want excuses,” she snaps, losing her composure. “I should have known you wouldn’t be able to follow simple instructions.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeats meekly, the tips of his ears burning in humiliation. He can’t believe he wasn’t able to control himself. Under her guidance, he was usually able to hold off for long periods of time.

“I don’t have time to deal with this properly right now. Come around at ten tonight.”

Taehyung nods quickly, not wanting to displease her further.

“Don’t be late,” she hides her warning with a smile. “I don’t want to punish you more than I already have to tonight.”

With a click, the image of her face fades out. Taehyung wipes his cum-covered hand on his already soiled boxers, fingers trembling.

.

.

It’s become routine.

In the mornings, he will wake up to a discreet package containing gorgeous, high-priced items of clothing. During the night, he’ll take a cab ride over to the uptown district and meet her in her fancy penthouse. Depending on her mood, he’ll either spend hours tied up to her bed, surrounded by feathered pillows and Egyptian cotton sheets, or on his knees, head buried between her thighs. There is never a time when he cums more times than her. Some days, he’s not allowed relief at all—especially if he’s displeased her.

He was worried today would be one of those days, but the sight of him wearing the Cartier choker must have excited her.

In the cab ride back home, Taehyung finds himself dozing off several times. His limbs feel heavy, and all he wants to do is let sleep claim him. He remembers she had offered to let him stay the night but he refused to cross that line, no matter how tired he got after their sessions. Siyeon isn’t one to beg, and she never presses the issue with words, but sometimes Taehyung wonders if she tries to fuck him to sleep. Like tonight for example…

His hand reaches for the choker around his neck, remembering the jeweled present she had been fixated on almost the entire night. He knows she likes when he wears the clothes she sends him, he can tell by the way her eyes gleam with possessiveness. Taehyung isn’t sure how he feels about that… What does she see exactly when she looks at him? Although the sex is more than satisfying, there are moments when it feels somewhat impersonal. Like she could be fucking anyone else and it wouldn’t make a difference.

Maybe he’s overthinking again. He thinks he should stop worrying so much. What they have is just sex. Good sex. Siyeon is rich and pretty, and in many aspects the ideal woman of many. There’s really no reason to complain. He’s accepted to put a price on his body in the form of opulent gifts. He’s accepted his choices but he’s not proud of himself. 

He can’t wait to take a shower and erase the traces of their encounter. He hates to be reminded of his questionable decisions. His desire to clean himself off and go to sleep helps him trudge up the three flights of stairs.

He freezes in the doorway when he sees you curled up on the couch. Automatically, his hand trails up to his neck, making sure the velvet choker has been taken off and put away.

The sound of the door opening must have jostled you awake; you rub your eyes, blinking up at him sleepily.

“You shouldn’t sleep on the couch,” he frowns.

“Tae… Where have you been? I tried calling you but your phone was off.”

“What’s wrong? Is something the matter?” he instantly worries, cursing himself for not checking his messages earlier. He walks over and crouches down so he can level his gaze with yours. His reaches out automatically to push a strand of hair away from your face. 

“Tae,” you wince, nose crinkling, moving your head away from his touch. Up close, he notices your makeup has smudged around your eyes. Usually he would tease you for looking like a raccoon but he has the presence of mind to know now isn’t the time to make fun of you. “You don’t remember, do you?”

“What?”

You run your fingers through your hair, looking away.

“It’s fine,” you utter, even though he can tell you don’t mean it. “We were supposed to have a movie night, but you must have been busy…”

“Oh shit.” He suddenly remembers that today is Friday, the day of the week reserved for lazy nights and movie marathons. “I’m so sorry… I forgot it was tonight.”

“Yeah, I realized,” you mutter, disappointment dripping from each syllable. “I’m okay with you changing your plans, but it would have been nice if you told me beforehand…”

“Hey,” he reaches out for your hand but you twist away from his grasp. That stings, probably more than it should. “I’m really sorry. I know I fucked up… I’ve been looking forward to spending time with you again.”

“Tae… What am I to you?”

The sudden question catches him off-guard, causing him to shake his head in confusion.

You let out a small laugh, eyes not meeting his. “Forget it.”

“No, tell me,” he insists.

You take your time before you respond. “All this time… I kept thinking you might like me back?” you confess nervously. “I don’t know why I thought that way.”

It’s hard to hear you over the hammering of his heart. Did he hear you correctly? Taehyung finds himself doubting the reality of the situation. How many times has he imagined this scenario? How many times has he daydreamed about you shyly confessing your feelings?

He says your name gently, ready to tell you how he feels. He wants to assure you that you’re right; he does like you, has liked you for the longest time. He wants to finally move on from that awkward place the both of you are stuck in—more than friends, but not quite lovers.

“Don’t, Tae,” you warn, cutting him off before he can continue. “Don’t tell me you like me back if you don’t mean it.”

“I do like you,” he insists, frowning. “I like you more than you think…”

He never imagined this scene would play out like this.

“Yeah?” you snort incredulously. “How can you expect me to believe you when you reek of sex?”

You eye the lavender bruises and crimson lip prints that paint his neck like a collar with ill-hidden contempt. It’s too late to cover them up now that you’ve seen them, but Taehyung still clutches his neck hoping to undo the damage.

He wants to tell you it’s just sex between Siyeon and him, nothing more. But he doesn’t want to let you believe she’s a random girl he hooks up with from time to time, because she’s not. It’s worse than that.

“__ …” He distances himself from you, suddenly ashamed. 

He can’t tell you the truth. You’re already disappointed enough with him and he doesn’t want to add on to that. Once again he’s reminded as to why he doesn’t deserve you. Even though he wants to be with you, he knows he’s not enough. He just hopes when tomorrow will come around that you’ll forgive him. 

.

.

Things don’t go back to normal. Somehow, you miraculously manage to wake up on time every morning, sneaking out of the shared apartment before he even has time to get up and make coffee. After several days, Taehyung notices that you’ve started to avoid the apartment. On the rare occasions he does catch you at home, you don’t spare him more than a polite greeting.

Taehyung doesn’t make any effort to close the growing rift that separates the both of you. How can he, when he knows you’re better off staying away from him? He can’t even dare to look you in the eye. The conversation he shared with you replays constantly in his mind and the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes how right you are. How can you accept his feelings when he’s sleeping with another woman? He’s a fool for thinking that he could somehow continue to have both women in his life. Siyeon satisfies every material desire he has, which should be more than enough, except Taehyung craves your love and affection, too.

His secret weighs down on him more than ever. It’s all he can think about during lectures and his morning jog around campus. He can’t concentrate on his work when his mind is clouded with thoughts of you. When he passes by your room, sometimes he lingers in front of your door, trying to work up the courage to talk to you again.

He knows he can’t face you when he’s still accepting Siyeon’s gifts.

If he was a better person, he would have ended things with her a long time ago. If has an ideal man, he would have never agreed to this in the first place.

It’s the third Sunday morning without you when he finally reaches a decision. Taehyung stares at your vacant seat while sipping his coffee, the smell of burnt toast still lingering in the air. He misses your soggy scrambled eggs, the way the two of you would curl up on the small couch together and watch cartoons. He misses the sound of your laughter when he cracks a joke and the way you call him Tae and not Taehyung.

Even though dressing up in exquisite fabrics bring him great joy, Taehyung won’t let himself cast away his chance to be with you. He knows he can’t let himself mess this up.

That’s how he finds himself in Siyeon’s penthouse on a Sunday night.

It’s the first time he’s initiated any contact with her. It’s also the first time he hasn’t put any effort into his appearance. He feels a bit silly standing in the middle of her luxurious penthouse in his hockey jersey and track shoes, especially when she’s always refined and elegant.

“I think we should end this.” He doesn’t want to draw it out, too afraid he’ll end up losing his nerve.

The silence that follows his words is deafening. All his muscles are tense with the effort of not squirming under her scrutiny.

“Are you… saying you want to walk away from this? From all of it?”

“Yes,” he swallows, doing his best not to avert his eyes from her intimidating gaze. He needs her to know he’s serious about his decision.

“If that’s what you want.”She tries to sound detached but he knows better. Even if she remains for the most part a mystery to him, Taehyung can tell he’s hurt her pride.

“I got these for you yesterday when I was out,” she shows him the shopping bags by the door. “I was going to send them later, but you can take them now and consider them parting gifts.”

He doesn’t move. He feels his jaw flex despite his efforts to stay disinterested. Why was she always tempting him? It was just like her to throw out one last bone to see if he would bite.

“Try on the clothes, Taehyung.”

“I can’t possibly—”

“After everything I’ve done for you… surely, you’ll let me have this?” She arches an eyebrow at him expectantly.

He bites the inside of his cheek and considers her last request.

“Just be good one last time and try them on. I picked this out just for you, after all. They’re yours… regardless of your decisions. It would be such a shame to let them go to waste.”

Her words mock him, entice him. There’s no use pretending that he doesn’t want to try on the garments she has carefully picked out just for him. She has the tact not to leave the price tags on, but one glance at them and he can tell they’re all in the thousands. He wants to know how the soft fabric will slide over his skin, how much better he’ll look in clothes that are worth more than anything else he owns.

He pulls off his jersey, itching to try on the brand new clothes. He knows he shouldn’t but the rational part of him fizzles out as soon as his hand comes into contact with the soft cashmere. Every time he’s amazed at how she always gets his measurements right.

“Don’t forget the scarf.”

He hesitates. There is no doubt that the blend of blues and reds is beautiful. But whether it’s a Gucci scarf or a Cartier choker, Taehyung is unsure if wearing something around his neck is the right thing to do in this situation.

As he ties the square of spun silk around the column of his neck, he imagines her eyes darken with something akin to possessiveness like they have done all the times before.

She steps closer and reaches for the printed silk, retying the knot so that the fabric clings tightly around his throat. When he swallows, the silky material digs into his skin and restricts his breathing.

“There,” she pats his cheek in a show of mock affection. He can’t help but feel a bit like a dog—collared, groomed, trained.

His nostrils flare in protest, but he bites his tongue. He stares straight ahead, not daring to look down as her delicate hand trails down the Gucci sweater. He’s hyper-aware of her presence, from the warm breath that hits the sensitive skin of his neck to the smell of her overbearing Chanel perfume.

“Who is she?” she questions, voice low and husky.

“W-What?” He fails to keep his voice steady.

“The girl you’re leaving me for, who is she?” He averts his eyes when she pursues, unrelenting.

She grips his cock through his jeans, making him jump in surprise. He’s ashamed to find out he’s already half hard. He doesn’t know why his body is betraying him now of all times. Maybe he’s been conditioned to expect sex whenever he sees her. Maybe he’s just fucked up.

“Is she pretty?”

He refuses to answer. He doesn’t want to get dragged into another one of her games. And he has no intention of bringing you into the mix.

“Have you fucked her?” she continues, fingers pressing down on his zipper.

He finally looks up, hackles raised. He knows she only wants a reaction from him, but he can’t help but take the bait.

“Don’t talk about her,” he hisses between his teeth.

It feels inherently wrong. The two women in his life are not supposed to mix. You belong in two different worlds, worlds that are separated by the number in your bank accounts, by the tags on your clothes. She belongs to the unobtainable—a sparkling fantasy world that he can visit in exchange for his body. And even though that attracts him, Taehyung has finally realized what he really wants. 

“Or what?” she laughs airily, eyes glinting in the dimly lit room.

Any response he could have had is cut short once she reaches down the front of his pants to grip his already semi-erect shaft.

He bites down hard on his bottom lip, watching her hand squeeze his hardening length once, twice. It takes everything in him to stop himself from thrusting his hips into her warm palm, seeking more friction. He can already feel pearls of sweat drip down the side of his face, can taste the iron on his tongue as he falls deeper into a haze of lust. With every upward stroke he’s this much closer to giving in and he hates it. He hates how powerless he is against her, hates how weak his body is.

“Do you think she’ll fuck you as good as me?”

The mention of you snaps him out of it temporarily. Is he really letting himself be coerced with a dick rub and a handful of designer clothes? Is he really that weak?

He lets her back him up towards the leather couch, still unsure about this predicament. With a hard push, he’s forced to sit down. Her face is a deceptive mask of calmness but he readies himself for the storm that’s about to hit.

Taehyung doesn’t expect her to fall to her knees in front of him, unzipping his jeans slowly. He stares at her in disbelief, wondering how far she will go. Is she trying to prove a point? 

“She can’t give you what I give you,” she murmurs, grip tightening around his member. “She can’t make you cum like I do.”

“Sh-shut up,” he gasps as her hand encloses over his leaking tip. “Shut up. Please stop talking.”

“What was that?” She pulls back, coy smile painted on. “Say that again.”

He expects her to reprimand him with more torturous teasing, not shift forward to take his hard length into her mouth. Taehyung watches, helpless to the onslaught of pleasure as her hot mouth dips down slowly. The wet warmth wraps around his cock perfectly, her tongue stimulating every nerve ending. He should be putting up more of a fight, but his attempts at resistance quickly crumble away with every sweep of her wicked tongue. 

She’s never blown him quite like this. Usually she’ll take her time and only give him what he needs after copious amounts of begging. Even then, her touch will stay feather-light and teasing, not nearly enough pressure and friction for him to be fully sated. But this—this is meant to destroy him in one blow. 

“Shut up, sh-shut, uhhn,” he grunts, hips thrusting involuntarily. He barely registers that she lets him push into her throat, drunk on the need to release. He feels the need build in the pit of his stomach but she puts a halt to his orgasm when she releases his cock with a lewd smack of her lips.

Her hand fists over his cock in slow, deliberate strokes, mouth sucking the tip with just enough suction for it to feel fucking good.

“You don’t tell me what to do.” She emphasizes each word with a scratch down his legs, her manicured nails leaving behind raised pink lines he knows will stay there for days. The bite of pain helps him calm down, but the illusion of peace is shattered when she stands up.  

Her skirt is the first item of clothing she discards. Without the barrier of the wine-colored material, the heady scent of her arousal hits him full force. He casts a fleeting look between her legs. The dim overhead lights don’t allow him to see much, but he imagines there’s a wet patch on the lace material of her panties.

It’s not every day she decides to take off her clothes, so he can’t help but gawk a little as she starts to discard her pearls and silks. It’s not that she’s insecure about her body… Taehyung knows she’s proud of it, knows she’s confident that her looks can make men weak in the knees. She gets off on power, likes knowing he wants to see her, to feel her. She likes knowing men crave her. He wonders if the reason she’s acting so out of character is because she wants him to need her again.

Once she is completely bare, Taehyung can’t help but sit still and admire her. Her smooth, unmarred skin seems to glow in the dimly lit room, and he swears he has never seen someone so physically attractive in his life.

She forces him to scoot backwards into the couch, straddling his thighs. Proof of her arousal glistens on her thighs, and Taehyung has to fight down the sudden urge to touch her because he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to, doesn’t know if he should. 

He makes a move to take off the clothes she has gifted him but she stops him by grabbing his wrists and shaking her head. She wants him to stay fully clothed? He squirms beneath her hold at the thought. 

It’s so hot beneath the collar of his knitwear, he can feel his back start to dampen with sweat. He wonders why she prefers to stay clothed during sex… He had always assumed staying clothed gave her power over him, but all he feels is sticky and uncomfortable.

He’s not sure if it’s because of the novelty of the situation, but he makes no move to push her away. In fact, all his muscles tense in anticipation as she lowers herself on his cock that’s shiny with her spit and precome.

“You’re saying you want to leave this?” She clenches down on him, hot walls squeezing tightly around him, and he has to swallow down a yelp. She laughs, but even in his lust-consumed mind, Taehyung can tell it’s hollow. “You can’t. Even when you’ll fuck her, you’ll think of me, of this. You’ll think of how hard I make you come. Every. Fucking. Time.”

Her words sink into his skin and burn. He hates how she always knows exactly what to say to get under his skin. He’s gripped by the fear she might be right. What if he can never escape her? What if he keeps on giving in every time? 

She moves her hips in tantalizing circles, oblivious to his inner struggle. 

“You might not love me,” she hisses, hand wrapping around the column of his throat. She doesn’t squeeze, doesn’t choke him like he knows she’s capable of, but the added weight on his neck still makes him feel lightheaded. “You might not love me baby, but you sure as fuck love my pussy.”

And with that she slams her hips into his hard, the loud, wet noise echoing in his ears. The abrupt move has his hands scrambling to find purchase on something, anything; he clutches her thighs, hoping it’ll anchor him to reality. His vision spins, unsure of how much more he can endure. He feels the muscles beneath his fingertips tense with every sinful rock of her hips. She’s used to this position and Taehyung knows she can go for a long time like this.  

“Don’t you?” Her usual velvety voice has turned into a growl and his spine straightens at the sound. Her features twist unnaturally, her statuesque beauty morphing into something much more menacing.

He can feel her nails through his sweater, scratching down his chest, can feel her hot walls pulsing around him. 

“I—fuck,” he grunts, clenching his jaw in his effort not to give in.

It’s much too hot. The sweater he’s been told to keep on does nothing to calm down his racing pulse. He’s drenched in sweat, his chest heaving.

“You love the way I fuck you,” she taunts between heavy pants, equally affected. “If you want to come, I have to hear you say it.”

A loud whimper escapes him as his eyes shut close in defeat. “Yes! Yes, yes. Fuck, I love it.”

She rewards him my quickening the maddening swivel of her hips. “Good boy…” 

He can hear her smirk triumphantly, “tell me what you love about me.”

“I love it. I love the way you f-fuck me – oh god! I love your pussy. I love it, I love it,” he chants brokenly, completely lost to the pleasure.

“Is that right?” Her pace is more frantic now, her breath labored. She must be nearing her end, too. Taehyung exhales in relief—this means his pleasure is finally within reach. 

She leans forward and tugs the silk around his neck between her fingers. The tight hold around his throat cuts off his breathing and the lack of oxygen makes him dizzier than he already is. 

“Don’t come until I tell you,” she warns, still rocking her hips at a dangerous pace.

The figure above him starts to blur until all he can focus on is the drag of her hot walls against him. It gets increasingly hard to follow her demands when his release is so close he can taste it. The obscene noises of skin slapping and low grunts fill the spacious apartment. With a last burst of energy, she lurches, hips still undulating even as he feels her quiver and clench around him. 

When she raises himself off of him, he is nervous, too afraid that she’ll leave him like this as punishment for leaving her. He wouldn’t put it past her. His cock twitches as the cool air hits it, dripping in her juices. 

“Come now,” she orders him, breathing still uneven from her orgasm.

Instantly, he grasps his hot length in his hand, desperation making his movements sloppy. His cock is so wet that his hand slides over his member with ease, seeking relief. It doesn’t take long—three, four rushed strokes—when he finally bucks his hips upwards as waves of rippling pleasure overcome him. His new sweater and pants are splattered in white traces of his arousal.

There’s so much of it, he notices, glancing down. His ensemble might cost thousands of dollars, but instead of feeling fancy and polished, he only feels filthy, soaked in sweat and cum. He’ll have to carry the soiled clothes on the way back home, showing anyone who passes by just how dirty he is. He closes his eyes, distinctly aware of the smell of sex and her perfume. He wants a shower badly but he’s too proud to ask her for anything more. 

She cups his cheek into her hand, forcing him to look at her. “You did a good job…" she praises, smile a little strained. “Now, when you wear these clothes, you’ll always think back to this moment, of how good you’ll always be for me.”

He wants to wipe the smugness off her face, wants to argue that this is the last time he’ll ever be hers. No… In truth he was never hers to begin with—never completely, never in the way that mattered. He wants to remind her but something in the way she looks at him tells him she already knows.

He vows to get rid of the clothes as soon as he can and erase her from his memories.

.

.

Taehyung keeps every gift she’s sent him.

He’s not proud of it – he wishes he could cut her out of his life for good. But Taehyung’s body was made susceptible to the desires of the flesh, and he doesn’t have it in him to give up on the priceless clothes that are now his.

He tells himself he won’t regret his decision, that walking away from that life was the better choice. Still, despite all rational thought, he finds himself still anticipating Siyeon’s packages every morning. It feels like he’s going through a withdrawal and wonders if there’s something wrong with him.

Keeping his troubles to himself is difficult… He wants to come clean and get everything off his chest but he’s still afraid that his friends and family will judge him and look down on him. Instead of confiding in someone he knows, he does some research online. Somehow, it’s relieving to find out he’s not the only who feels the way he does.  

It takes a while, but he slowly starts to get back on track. He realizes that being a sugar baby had been a way of escaping his burdensome reality of student loans and wobbly future. He had let himself believe it could be a means to an end… In retrospect, he had only been stalling, refusing to acknowledge his problems. Even if he still hasn’t figured out the rest of his life, he is learning to focus on the present. 

These days, his studies take up most of his time. He finally finishes his photography project he’s been neglecting for weeks. It’s funny how he believed being a sugar baby was a way to distract him from his stressful life. Now that he’s stopped, Taehyung feels a lot better, no longer worried about being caught or asked unwanted questions. He only notices now, but he had been skirting social obligations and inadvertently ignoring his friends. He’s lucky they have forgiven him for being a dick and silently promises to make it up to them. 

He promises to make it up to you, too. He knows leaving the sugar baby life behind can’t miraculously fix everything between the two of you but time has allowed the both of you to repair your friendship even if there’s still that elephant in the room.

Taehyung can wait. He’s okay with waiting if it comes to you. Really, he’s just grateful you’re back on speaking terms with him. Not being able to spend time with you normally and talking to you regularly had been painful, and he never wants to go through that again.

Taehyung can wait, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you so much it sometimes physically hurts. It’s like his feelings have been magnified tenfold. Selfishly, he hopes you still feel the same way about him, even if it’s been weeks since your confession. When he converses with you now, he can’t tell if you do or don’t. The playful banter is back and there’s certainly some kind of tension that sparks between the two of you, but he needs verbal confirmation. He doesn’t want to pressure you though. And he certainly doesn’t want to put a strain on the relationship that had taken so long to repair.

It’s a Saturday night when the long awaited shift finally occurs.

He’s long since used to your eccentricities but he still stops and stares at your crouched form. You’re clutching one of his shoes, head almost buried inside… For a moment, he’s worried you’ve finally lost it.

“Um… Why…” he tilts his head in confusion. “Why are you sniffing my shoes?”

You jump, startled, but turn around to look at him accusingly.

“I’m not sniffing!” you protest hotly. “I was checking the label.”

The label? 

His eyes blow wide open in realization and he struggles to find a plausible excuse. 

“Care to explain why you own,” you check your phone. “Shoes that cost almost one grand?”

He gulps. He knew he should have tried to be less conspicuous. 

“Tae, I have eyes! Coming home at weird hours of the night, receiving mysterious packages every morning… You’re able to afford all this,” you gesture at his leather belt, his shiny watch. “A couple months ago you had trouble paying your rent, and now you want me to believe you suddenly have enough money to buy nine hundred dollar shoes? Tae… look at these!”

You flap around the shoe in disdain. “Do you know how much pizza you can buy with that kind of money? Why would you waste it on slippers?”

He fights down the urge to argue that they aren’t just any slippers. They’re Gucci. The fur lining feels heavenly between his toes, something other brands can’t compete with. Of course you wouldn’t care about that… You have no interest in fashion. You wouldn’t be able to spot a counterfeit Gucci purse even if he shoves one under your nose… which is probably the reason why you have never noticed he’s been walking around in hundred dollar clothes for months.

“I- I can explain, __,” he mumbles, feeling his hands get clammy.

“You’re a drug dealer, I know,” you sigh in a resigned manner. “Or at least you were one. I’m glad you finally got yourself together, Tae.”

“Ah—what?” He blinks owlishly, trying to process what you’ve just said. In another situation he would have laughed at how certain you seem. Him? A drug dealer? He’s not sure if he should be relieved you provided him an excuse or offended. 

“Also… I know you like fashion but please refrain from buying hideous monstrosities next time.” 

He knows now is the perfect time to confess, to come clean and finally get his secret off his chest. He says your name softly, trying to gather his courage.

“It’s not what you think… I haven’t been dealing drugs.” He tries to ignore the way your eyebrows shoot up questioningly. He has to tell you the truth. “I’ve had a… uhh… sponsor.”

He’s not sure what term to use, which one is closer to the truth and which one will make him appear dishonorable. He wants to give you his honesty, but he also doesn’t want you to see him as something dirty either.

“A sponsor?” You knit your brows in confusion. “Tae… You mean like a sugar daddy?”

“Kind of… She…” He fidgets, trying to find the right words to describe Siyeon. “There wasn’t a contractual agreement or anything. I’d provide sexual services and she would send me gifts.”

“And she… you let her do things to you?”

“Don’t say it like that…” He looks down, regretful. “I’m an adult, I gave my full consent. We never did anything I didn’t like… She just wanted sex.”

Seconds tick by before you’re able to form your next words.

“What did you do?”

The tone of your voice has Taehyung looking back up in surprise. Instead of seeing the disgust he expects in your eyes, there is only curiosity.

“Did she tie you up?” 

He hesitates, can feel his ears turn pink. He never envisioned a scenario in which you would react this way and he flounders for an answer.

“Sometimes,” he finally admits.

“And you liked it? You like being tied down?” You ask eagerly, drawing closer to him.

“What else did she do? She’s the kind of woman to make you beg, right?”

He inhales sharply at your words, feeling weirdly turned on. 

“Isn’t that what you want to do to me?” he retorts, surprising himself by his audacity.

He’s used to poking fun at you but this kind of sexual banter he’s unused to. It feels different, new, and he would be lying if he said he doesn’t want to explore that territory. 

“Maybe,” you answer with a swipe to your bottom lip. 

Fuck… That’s hot. He’s never imagined you as the dominant type, but all he can think about now is you jerking him off while his hands are tied up. Or maybe you would tell him to eat you out on the kitchen table. He would do it all. He wants you so much… He can’t count the number of times he’s thought of you pleasuring yourself from across the hall. He remembers that one time he had caught you moaning into your pillow late one night when he had gotten up for a bathroom break. The muffled sounds had given him enough spank bank material for months.

“Are you picturing me doing that right now?” you interrupt, grinning. “That’s naughty. I’m right here in front of you.”

“Can’t help it,” he confesses sheepishly. “I’ve wanted you far too long.”

Taehyung’s eyes trail downwards, distracted by your nipples that have hardened under your flimsy top. He imagines how soft your breasts would feel in his large hands, how loud you would get for him when he would bite and suck marks into your skin. 

“Tae…” you suddenly turn serious, biting your lip in the way that tells him you’re thinking hard about something. “I’m not going to fuck you.”

He swallows thickly, nodding in understanding. Of course you wouldn’t want to fuck him. Why would you want to after he told you his secret? You probably can’t look at him the say way.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” you declare, a pink hue coloring your cheeks. “I do actually… I really do. I just think we shouldn’t rush into this…”

“You do?” he repeats back, relief washing over his features. “Ah, then that’s fine, doll. I can wait. We can wait together. You’re right… I haven’t even taken you out on a date. My parents taught me better.”

You laugh at him, hitting his arm. It’s only then he realizes you still have his fucking Gucci slipper in your grasp. 

“I’m so fucking horny right now though…” You lick your lips, eyeing his bulge hungrily. “I’m going to go disappear in my room for a bit to…take care of things.”

“Ah fuck,” he groans, imagining you thrusting your fingers in your wet pussy, crying out his name as you approached your peak. “That’s fucking hot. Fuck… Tell me what you’re going to do.”

“Why don’t you tell me what you’re going to do?” you smile mischievously.

“Me? You know I’m gonna come all over my hand thinking of you across the hall fucking yourself. I’m going to wish I was there with you. Fuck, okay, so I’ve thought about eating you out a lot. I bet you taste so fucking good…” He knows he’s working himself up but he can’t seem to stop. His cock is so fucking hard he wants to palm it but he somehow manages to keep his hands still at his side. “I bet you’ll drip all over my tongue, fuck. I can’t wait until you let me eat you out like you deserve.”

You shiver once, eyes shutting close. He wonders if you’re imagining him sinking to his knees, ready to worship your body like he knows you both want.

It’s fucking torture having you so close but unable to touch you. He’s used to controlling his pleasure but you seem to have more difficulty. Taehyung notes how your thighs rub together in a poor attempt at satisfying yourself, eyeing the spot between your legs greedily. Fuck, he swears he can smell you from where he is. The sweet aroma tempts him to break your rules. 

“Tae,” you moan quietly. The sound has his ears instantly perk up, and he continues talking, wanting to see you feel good.

“You realize I can smell you through your jeans, right? You must be really turned on right now… If you told me to take off your jeans I bet I would find you soaked. So good… Ah fuck, I really want to taste you. Would you like to ride my face? I’ll make it feel good, I promise.”

“Tae… Uh, remember what I said about no fucking? I kind of take it back,” you squirm, legs almost crossing in your effort to find friction.

“You can’t do that,” he grunts in complaint. “I’m going to treat you right, okay? That means food before fucking.”

“Why did you have to make me so fucking horny?” you whine, features scrunching up in frustration.

“You asked me what I wanted to do to you!” He laughs at your disheveled state. “You think I would stop at oral sex? After you come on my face, you’ll take my cock like the big girl I know you are. Maybe we can use your pink vibrator to warm you up… Even though it’s nothing compared to my cock.”

“Oh my—wait… How the fuck do you know about my pink vibrator? Tae!”

He ignores you. “How do you like it, doll? I bet you like it really rough, right?”

“I do,” you nod, distracted once again by the low husky notes in his voice. “You’ll give me what I want?”

“You can just take it. I’m fine with you using my dick when you need it.” He cracks a grin, winking saucily.

“Tae!” You snort down a laugh. “Okay, we said no sex, right?”

“Not until I feed you. That was the consensual agreement.”

“But you’ll give me what I want if I ask you to?”

He raises an eyebrow in question. “What did you have in mind?”

“Want to sit on your lap…” you say quietly, fingers reaching to grab at his shirt. “I really need to come.”

He takes in your flushed cheeks and dilated pupils, and swipes his tongue over his dry lips in agreement. How can he refuse you when that’s all he wants and more? He takes a seat on the couch and waits with hooded eyes as you clamber into his lap. The way you plop down is far from graceful but he finds it endearing how eager you are for him.

“Tae, can we try something? I read it online and thought it was hot.” When he gives his consent you continue, voice trembling with excitement. “Can I try riding your thigh? It’s supposed to be sexy…”

He visibly shudders under you, the image of you using him to get off too much to handle. 

“Yeah,” he murmurs, the corners of his mouth curving into a pleased smirk. 

He’s caught off guard when you lean in to kiss him—softness melting against him like snow. It takes a moment to realize that you are kissing him, but when it fully registers, he’s cupping your cheeks and pulling you closer. Distantly, he notes how long it’s been since he’s kissed someone. He doesn’t ever remember kissing Siyeon and she was the person he had been with for months. You bite his lower lip, tongue tracing the seam of his mouth, fingers running through the hair at his nape. 

He thinks kissing you might be his new favorite thing. He loves the way you mold against him, as if he was made just for you. There’s a fluttering feeling in his chest he can’t shake, and with every press of your lips over his his, the feeling only intensifies. It’s a warm, comfortable tingle that makes his toes curl. 

He’s so lost in your hot kisses that he barely notices when you start to rock your hips against his thigh. It’s a bit awkward at first, but you quickly disregard any sense of propriety as you lose yourself to the tingles of pleasure that zap through your body. Your small moans make him grunt in response and he has to constantly remind himself that this is for you, not him. He can always go get himself off in the shower later thinking back to this exact moment.

“You’re so pretty, __” he praises, mouth agape as he worships you with his gaze. “You’re so pretty riding my thigh. Does it feel good rubbing your needy clit against me? Hmm? Tell me how good it feels for you.”

“Ah… kind of… bony,” you pant out, sweat beading at your forehead.

“Bony?”

“Your thighs are kind of bony but it…” You blow a strand away from your face as your pace quickens. He can feel your heat through the ridges of his jeans and imagines how much more satisfying it would feel without the layers separating the two of you. “It feels good. I think I can come like this… Oh god!”

He presses your hips down harder against his thigh, desperately needing to see you fall apart. He doesn’t know where to focus his gaze—eyes darting from your face to your heaving chest, to the frantic roll of your hips. He needs to commit every detail to memory. 

“Tae I think—”

“That’s right,” he encourages. “Will you let me see you come? I want to see you so badly… I need it. I need to hear you, need to feel you soak through your jeans.”

The dirty talk seems to get you off, and with a loud shout of his name you come. The sight is so delicious he has half a mind to come in his pants as well, but he somehow manages to hold off.

You collapse into his arms, head resting in the crook of his neck damp with sweat. He’s still hard as a rock, but his need to orgasm is only secondary to his desire to hold you close. 

He threads his fingers through your hair, short fingernails scratching your scalp pleasantly. He presses light kisses on the crown of your head, inhaling the familiar fresh scent of jasmine soap that belongs to you. 

Taehyung doesn’t know why he was so worried about being intimate with you. You two haven’t even had sex yet but he already knows with you it will feel different from anything he’s ever had.

His flesh is weak, easily tempted and swayed by the promises of satisfying sex and the ostentatious. Admittedly, he has little to offer you. He’s unable to express his feelings in measurements like carats. 

But he realizes now that all that is gold does not glitter: that love and affection can’t be bought. Siyeon hadn’t been able to turn his attraction into love no matter how many pricey gifts she provided him. What you offer him is much more valuable than any Gucci sweaters or monogrammed Burberry scarves.

I love you.

Words he has never allowed himself to say rest on the tip of his tongue. He’s tempted to let them spill from his lips, but he would rather wait and savor the taste in his mouth.

.

.

a/n: okay i need to thank a lot of mutuals who helped me with this :’D my number one smut consultant @bxebxee ;; also @noona-la-la-la @btssmutgalore @authorose who gave me helpful sub smut advice and the only fem dom in my life @tayegi:’) @mint-tape and @floralseokjin also shared links on fem doms and male orgasms :’’’) and @yoongihime and @seaseok for reading over some of the writing !! ♡ also @taesthetes and and @taeverie who encouraged me to the end ;;;

this list is quite long >.< but i was only able to finish this cursed sub tae fic with your help so tysm and ily all !!!

(+ title is taken from tolkien’s poem in lotr lmao)

[puppy-phum]

get to know me

am going to mix these two different tag games into one post so thank you a lot for tagging me @jazthespazz and @i-am-just-a-kiddo ♥

it’s somehow funny to do these same games again after a while so let’s see what I come up with:

Part I

name: real name petra but i prefer vish/vishie over here ^^ 

pronouns: she/her

star sign: aries ♈

height: 178cm (which am coming more and more proud of while i realize how damn tall every cdrama actor is lol)

time: 10:37pm as am answering this one

birthday: 10th april!

nationality: finnish 

fave bands/groups: ah well this is always a hard question but let’s go with these: BTS, DAY6, OneRepublic, Hurts, Oneus, Hoppipolla, TXT, Red, Mamamoo

fave solo artists: (forgive me if i’ve assumed any of these wrong) Novo Amor, Talos, Crywolf, Liu Yuning, SYML, EDEN, PVRIS, Joker Xue, NF, Halsey, Sleeping At Last, Nuz, HyunA, Sam Smith, Taemin

song stuck in your head: it’s OneRepublic’s Rescue Me bc of the song tag game i did earlier today :’D that one always gets stuck in my head whenever i as much as see the title lol 

last movie you watched: i think it’s The Yin-Yang Master (2021)? I haven’t watched any movies after that bc am so busy with all of my dramas haha

last show you binged: i think binged would be The Journey Across the Night! I watched that as a whole in 4 days

when you created your blog: in 2013 

the last thing you googled: ummm i think it was “what is a ball of wool called” bc of fic purposes haha as a non native speaker i always get a bit lost with words like this 

other blogs: none, i just dump everything here like the idiot i am 

why i chose my url: dates back to my intense summer of binge reading J.R. Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood series. Vishous was my favorite of the brothers haha. i first used this username in some random game on my nintendo ds lol 

how many people are you following: 358 which somehow feels like a lot but also like way too few?? i should probably search for some new blogs with other topics than cql, bts and/or dmbj bc i do love a lot of things at once 

how many followers do you have: over 800 

average hours of sleep: i’d say around 7h

lucky numbers: i remember answering 5 previously? i don’t really have a lucky number but 5 pops into my head

instruments: nope, no. not touching those tyvm. i admire everyone who can play any instrument tho

what i’m currently wearing: black jeans, socks with foxes on them (plus my woolly socks), a gray cardigan (my fave thing ever!) and an orange/brown top

dream job: writer would be ideal but that is very faaaaar into the dream zone 

dream trip: around different parts of asia to taste all the amazing food ;; maybe a road trip of sorts through europe? or inter railing? another trip to london bc i miss that ;; a trip to the very northern part of lapland to see all the auroras etc! i’ve never been that far north :’D 

fave food: if i need to quickly name something then sushi. otherwise am pretty fine with anything spicy 

top three fictional universes you’d like to live in: i remember thinking about this a lot the last time i answered this but hmm. currently i’d say dmbj still bc that world is fascinating AND i would love to talk to the characters. mass effect would be the second one currently bc i miss those games and the space stuff is super cool! and the third one would be assassin’s creed rogue bc that is my fave ac game and i like the northern sea and the places in it AND i could probably be one of abstergo’s employees instead and just test/play those simulation games haha 

Part II

Last Song: am currently listening to my playlist with just everything so i have Andrew Belle’s The Enemy playing right now (also I only just now realized that Andrew Belle also sings Pieces which is one of my fave songs? my bff linked that to me after it played in some tv series she was watching)

Last Movie Last Stream: i didn’t want to mention the same movie again or skip this question and i’ve wanted to talk about this anyway so! i watched Liu Chang’s bday live last night :’D it was so much fun even if i couldn’t understand anything. it was just nice to watch him being himself and have fun and chill with his fans. also the songs were amazing ;; i cried with Liu Sang’s character song as well as the ending. and all the while i couldn’t turn my gaze away from his eyes! he has such pretty eyes and they were absolutely Sparkling throughout the whole stream, it was so nice :’)

Currently Reading: Devotions by Mary Oliver (i adore her poems! they’re a very nice change after Siken haha) and then some uni stuff for a course about culture and mental health plus my thesis

Currently Watching: Douluo Continent, Word of Honor, The Long Ballad 

all of these are amazing and make me feel different things! i started Douluo Continent just a while ago and am now on ep 16 i think? it’s been very pretty and very chill and i watch it during the weekend while i wait for new episodes to the other two :’D it’s nice to see Xiao Zhan again and i’ve enjoyed the rpg game type of feeling in it? the group of seven is doing amazing and it’s interesting to watch them craft their team work! Word of Honor again has reached the ending and i just hold my breath with it. am not too far gone with it so i am not getting as heavy feelings about it as i probably could but i enjoy it  alot still and i do cry at times ^^ and then The Long Ballad has just blown me away! i didn’t expect to love it this much and be this invested in it but everything about it has been such a positive surprise and it keeps making me super emotional! i love the characters and the story and the romances even! it’s a great accomplishment for me. also yes i cry on the daily bc of hao du and bc of ashile sun’s hair haha

(i am also rewatching Ultimate Note kind of and been thinking about getting into rewatching Reboot bc it has been on my list ever since i finished it)

What is antipoetry to you: okay hmm i had to google this too and have to agree with Kiddo here. i don’t have strong feelings about poetry tbh, i wasn’t into poetry that much before maybe a bit over year ago? Siken has really blown me away haha. but i have always loved song lyrics which i never thought as poetry but then Kiddo said to me that they consider them poetry and yeah ok. i agree? so idk poetry can be whatever i suppose. i’ve never seen any rules in it anyway. i know there are many rules for different types of poetry but then again. i feel like poetry has always been just words put together to feel things and i guess that is the core purpose of every written type of art in the end right? 

Currently craving: a drama as good and as personal as The Journey Across the Night. that show really just stole my heart and i want that feeling back. i think about that show every day. i miss Li Jia and his two partners. i miss the vibes. i miss sitting on my floor watching it and just sobbing my heart out haha. also! craving a properly subbed, whole version of Anti-Fraud League. only the first 12 eps are badly subbed out there. wetv has... blocked? deleted? the whole show??? i need it to my life, i wanna see Xiao Yuliang being cute as Mi Ruo and i wanna know where the story goes smh 

thank you so much for these both! i had fun ^^ also am sorry this is so long but haha if you’re asking me to talk about myself and my interests then this is what you get :) 

tagging (to do which ever part you want or both!): @cross-d-a @jockvillagersonly @humanlighthouse @kholran @xcziel @minmoyu and @leonzhng ♥

[lovelylusts]

izzy’s favorite originals (tagged)

i was tagged by a lovely reader, @adventuresinwonderlust to do this tag!

rules: it’s time to love yourself. choose your 5 favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world. tag as many writers/artists/etc. you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Caught in the Middle || Sope x Reader

this fic is my pride and joy. aside from my kinktober masterlist, as of now, this post has the most notes that i’ve ever received on an original post. this was requested by my favorite filthy bitch, Tipsy, who is now an amazing friend of mine who helps me with ideas. before i wrote this, i had no idea what i was truly capable of writing, but holy fuck, my writing has changed ever since i wrote this! this is, without a doubt, the best thing i’ve ever written, and it has definitely made me less shy about my work!

Friends with Benefits || Chapter 4 || Yoongi x Reader

another full-length fic that i’m quite proud of. this was my first time writing anal, which is one of my top kinks, but i was a bit weary about it since it wasn’t something i saw a lot of in the fandom. i had a lot of fun writing it, and i like Namgi’s interaction at the end lol.

Kinktober || Day 2 || Threesome || BTS x Reader

this is the post that really boosted my interaction last month. i had gone from getting only a few notes per week, aside from when i first posted Daechwita, to getting nearly 200 notes per day. i love the dynamics i had between the boys and the reader, especially Sope and Yoonmin! i mean, in case you didn’t know, the Sope reaction directly influenced Caught in the Middle, so of course i love it.

Kinktober || Day 8 || Anal Play || BTS x Reader

what a surprise, one of my favorites is about anal... ok so far, all of them are. i can’t help it, i’m sorry! i just like how i wrote this one! i pride myself in writing as realistically as possible, and i think i did a pretty good job with this one.

Kinktober || Day 29 || Sub!BTS || BTS x Reader

honestly, i was a bit surprised that this would ever be a favorite of mine since i very much lean sub... but ever since i wrote this, i started becoming more of a switch! (i actually wrote this as an outline for my other posts, but i dedicated Dom!BTS to my friend for her birthday on Day 30, so i had to change the order.) i truly have become a sucker for whiny sub Jungkook!!!! seriously... help.

now, it’s time for me to tag my favorite whore, @tipsydipsydo, to share some of her favorite works! please go check her out, i get some of my ideas from her, and her works are guaranteed to make you feel some kinda way.

[youarejesting]

My fics in 2020

I am proud of this year. I worked hard until the end. 2020 was my year of finishing my stories. I have done so much and next year I want to do more. So keep an eye out Jester will take over.

Fandom(s): BTS, mentions of NCT, BLACKPINK, MONSTA X.

Networks:@btscreatorscorner @castlebangtan

Total Fics: 34

Total chapters: 404

Total Words: 565,587 Total vids and fake subs: 13 

Best and Worst Title?

Best: ‘Music is the spark that sets my soul on fire’ and its sequel ‘Dance is the celebration of the flame’

Worst: The Check Up

Best and Worst first line?

Best: Yoongi never understood why people would say one's blood is important. (Mania)

Worst: It all started in Mykonos. (Steal my sunshine)

Best and Worst ending line?

Best: “I got you this pretty dress” Seokjin grinned showing you the dress before hugging you and giving your forehead a kiss, “Let’s go burn it” (Me & the ghost in number 23)

Worst: But all you got was a sharp-toothed smile. (Pandemonium)

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than, or about what was expected?

I think I wrote what I expected, but I think I could have definitely finished more. Which is a bit upsetting.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year? 

I don’t have limitations to my writing so nothing is deemed unpredictable.

I am however generally surprised by my love of throwing in twists and also gore, I love gore.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

Wild space: it is strange because I am not particularly a fan of space and scifi, but I am really into writing world building things and having the ability to create a whole planet was amazing.

Most popular story? 

Tumblr:

Seoulmates

Femme

Quarantine

AO3: 

Quarantine

BTS365

Love Listening

Story most underappreciated by the universe? 

Tiny Tan: Limited Edition

Story that could have been better? 

All

Sexiest story?

 Love Listening

Saddest story? 

 Me & the ghost in number 23

Fluffiest story? 

Mall Santa

Most fun story? 

BTS Among Us 

Hardest story to write? 

Kisaeng

Daylight (i'm still writing it haha)

Easiest/most fun story to write? 

Light it up

What story took the longest?

365 lol took all year

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? 

The biggest risk I took all year was posting my work. Living life on the edge.

What are your fic writing goals for next year? 

To double my writing

Fics that you wrote in 2020:

BTS365: 365 mini stories ✓ fluff, comedy, angst, romance, mature, action, adventure, smut. This has it all. Find your birthday and read your story. I wanted to give something unique to people.

Quarantine: 100 Chapters ✓ Something to accompany you while you are alone during quarantine and the pandemic. I was lonely and I figured so was everyone else. So, I decided to have BTS help us all go on an adventure that didn’t focus on the covid virus but on some other aspects around it.

Femme: 50 Chapters ✓ A futuristic world where women are rare. This was an indulgement fic that gave circumstances for the reader to be in a polyamorous relationship with the boys and live a glamorous life. Ending was a bit rushed.

Seoulmates: 29 (ongoing) Each member of BTS has a unique soulmate bond. I love the idea of this, another indulgent fic but you aren’t alone with the boys you have friends and you can play different parts.

Witching: 11 Chapter ✓ When your brother goes missing trying to find them gets you in a turf war between two covens. This fic was actually a way for me to vent for a project I wanted to complete but the project is so big that I wrote this instead.

Herb: 2 Parts ✓ mature, smut. Jimin claims he has everything you need, he doesn’t disappoint. I came across this idea within the 365’s and extended it because I liked the idea so much. Jimin has everything from casseroles to scarfes, cat food to cell phone chargers and the reader just wants to be loved and relieve stress.

Limited Edition: 10 Chapters ✓ BTS boys are sold as limited edition figurines. This was originally me venting about not having any merch and then became a daydream that what if the merch came alive. And the story was born.

BTS Among Us: 7 Chapters ✓ gore, action, adventure, scifi, angst, death of main characters. This one was so funny for me, I had my friend pick a colour and that was the imposter from the start. I was amazed that no one figured it out in the end. I want to play again soon.

Light it up: 13 Chapters ✓ fluff, comedy, angst, romance, mature, action, adventure. This was inspired by the dynamite trailer, I loved it so much that I began writing, I had no clear direction but as I wrote it started to shape and someone said it was like stranger things and I credited Stranger things cause it did indeed have a similar premise and I don’t want to pretend I came up with something that has already been done.

Love listening: 2 Parts ✓ SMUT, comedy, fluff, angst, romance, mature. This was inspired by a strange video that came up on the internet, I was searching for BTS misheard lyrics and the video I clicked had some funny ones but after that the next suggested video was bts moans and auto play was on and well this fic was born.

Me & the ghost in Number 23: 11 ✓ fluff, comedy, scifi, supernatural, romance, angst, mature, smut, death of main character. This was inspired by many of the ghost text au’s I had read but many of them were like the show oh my ghost where the main ghost character isn’t actually dead just in a coma and I thought the opposite way instead of them waking up, I wanted things to shape the other way. This one was so difficult to write and I cried a lot due to the loneliness Jimin was facing and the mourning from Yoongi.

Hope in the sheets: 4 chapters (so far) fluff, comedy, smut, adventure, slice of life, romance, angst, mature, growing up. This one is a fic that targets my childish desires. I have grown up so much and this fic is a visual representation of that. 

Asks: 77 (ongoing) where the bts boys answer the readers questions and concerns.

Reactions: 15 (ongoing) 

Prompts: 18 (ongoing)

One shots:

Kisaeng: This was a reverse fic project, the idea that instead of Mulan pretending to be a man and going off to war, it was BTS dressing as women to stay home from war. I loved writing about fictional history. 

Steal my Sunshine: This was a summer project. I wanted to write something that felt like a very bad spy movie, like Mellissa Mccarthy and Mr Bean-esque. I formed this one and it made me laugh the whole time writing it.

Blue Side: This was talking to myself about being sad and admitting that I could be sad but I should learn to split the happy and sad into two worlds and limit my time in them both, it was about equal balance and finding the good in the sad and the sad in the good. I don’t know how hard to explain.

Temptation: I had fun writing but it is pure SMUT. not even good SMUT.

Pandemonium: This was really fun. The premise is dark and the ending is left ambiguous, in the original, Namjoon kills the reader but I left it open so you can imagine them continuing their relationship or not.

Mall santa: A fluffy christmas piece. A secret santa I wrote that I felt needed to be soft and quirky and have just all the hallmark moments.

Mad: This one is finished, but I have it published privately at the moment waiting to unveil it as it is well SMUTTY. I don’t know what it is about Taehyung but he is always so dark and I guess that's what people find appealing. I had this idea from a 365prompt and well I had to write it.

One wish: This was a birthday fic that I wrote for a friend. I wanted people to read it on their birthdays or imagine their birthdays and themselves in this position if they made the same wish.

The Check Up: I wrote for this for a friend going through a personal procedure, they were nervous so I took their bias and made something I hoped they could think about while in the procedure and I even explained the steps and what might happen over the next few days hoping the whole thing wouldn’t seem as scary because technically her mind had already been through it when reading the story.

Sparks of the heart: Robots developing human feeling. It was a cute universe and Yoongi’s story will be a series within 2021.

Dance machine 3000

Digital Art

Electronic Tonic

Circuit chef

Random Access Memory

Kookies Trojans and Malware

Feel Better: Another fic written for a author who was sick, I wanted them to endulge in some escapism whilst they were sick.

Music is the spark that sets my soul on fire & Dance is the celebration of the flame: These two were requests that I loved dearly.

Horror movies: Cheesy damsel in distress meets boys will be boys.

I will wait (somesay): This song wouldn’t get out of my head so I had to write it.

Wild Space: When I wanted to write a hybrid AU but I already have a hybrid AU being edited. So hybrid werewolves meets space.

The Bomb: This one is compete and ready to post I had to talk myself out of writing this as a series but I love the story line. I love the end.

Lost Boys: This has been stuck in my head since i had a dream about it and I finally wrote it into the new year. I hope you like it.

Mania: Not my favourite work, love ABO universe I just haven’t got an actually story line so it is on hold.

Incaceration: The story that never was, I really need to get around to this one.

Tagging: @moccahobi I know you wanted to tag me... but I am finished so I am tagging you.

[pudgecuddles]

Fic Recs!

Sorry this took a while to compile, but here you go, just in time for your birthday @chocochub!

I went ahead and tried to describe any triggers or reasons for the rating (sex vs. violence). I’m sorry if I missed anything that makes you uncomfy that‘s the last thing I want!

Also I got really sleepy around the time I was formatting this so sorry if there’s any errors with links, grammar, or trigger warnings. I’ve tried to be as thorough as I can, but many of these I’ve finished over a year ago and can’t recall every theme or possibly upsetting event :(

•

Red Sky in Morning by GinForInk

Rating: E for Sex, Violence and Loss of Limb

Relationships: TaeJoon, YoonKook

Themes: Pirate AU, Curse AU, Adventure, Supernatural, Mystery, Horror

Summary: Captain Namjoon's cursed crew searches the Caribbean for a ship that can save them, and Namjoon's own men have more magic than they let on.

My notes: Even though there’s sex, it’s less smut and more romantic/stress relief than purposefully pornographic. Very heavy on Supernatural and Adventure. Characters are written very well! Definitely a favorite of mine.

•

Hijacker’s Island by Gobi17

Rating: T for semi-graphic violence and attempted sexual assault from a villain.

Relationships: None

Themes: Hijack Gone Wrong, Plane Crash, Island Survival, Befriending the Baddies, Psychological Thriller, Mystery, Action

Summary: Jungkook's flight home ends in disaster as a group of hijackers take over the plane, and events quickly spiral out of control.

My Notes: I really loved this one. It was an interactive story where the audience was able to choose what choices Jungkook (the main character) would make. His survival depended on the answers, and I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. There is a lot of platonic character bonding, so no sex, however there is a bad guy that fixates on Kookie that later attempts to sexually assault him. If this is triggering to you please do not read.

•

Butterfingers by jincherie

Rating: G

Relationships: RM/Reader

Themes: Co-workers, Teachers, Hybrids, Penguin-Hybrid Joon, Heavy Fluff, Penguin Courting uwu

Summary: He had you at the very first pebble he gave you.

My notes: Extremely cute. I’m not usually on for Reader fics as they’re usually rife with unneeded smut and OOC-ness, but I love Namjoon being an awkward, unusual Hybrid and I LOVE cute, animalistic behavior.

•

Do Not Meddle In The Affairs Of Dragons, For You Are Crunchy And Taste Good With Ketchup by Runchrandom

Rating: T

Relationships: OT7, but Namjoon-centric

Themes: Supernatural, Humor, Crack treated seriously, part of a series, Dragon-Joon

Summary: In which Namjoon is a man who doesn't know what he wants, then accidentally figures it out while turning into a very large lizard.

My notes: Part of a very cute and funny series of Supernatural boyband BTS, navigating their inherent differences and similarities. Also lots of protective Dragon Namjoon taking good care of his Treasures UwU

•

you have 1 new message by bazooka

Rating: T

Relationship: NamJin (my OTP)

Themes: Humor, Text Fic, Imbedded Pictures, Suspense/Mystery

Summary:

r u n c h r a n d a.

fuck

this is going to sound like the weirdest shit

okay look i used ur selcas to catfish and this older dude is gonna buy me stuff but i have to send him a selca with a peace sign

~ * ~ pingkeu jin ~ * ~

hahahahahahaha wtf

My notes: As someone who steers clear of text fics, this one I actually loved! Very funny and clever, the developing relationship between NamJin is hilarious. It also turns into a mystery/thriller???

(You can only read it if you have an Ao3 account as it’s locked to users only)

•

Vending Machines and Bad Ideas by smiles

Rating: G

Themes: Blind Dates, Meet Cute, Humor, Rom-Com

Relationships: 2Seok

Summary: Hoseok needed to focus, regroup. He needed to evaluate the situation, weigh his options, and find a solution. He needed to work through this like the capable adult he was. He needed to get his hand out of this stupid vending machine.

My notes: 2Seok is a guilty pleasure of mine lol. This was cute, funny and sweet.

•

Human by SunShineSwag

Rating: E for Graphic Violence, Many Murders, Sex, Mentions of Past Abuse and Temporary Character Death

Themes: Serial Killer/Dexter AU, Suspense/Mystery, Romance, Crime, Fluff, Hobi Teaches Yoongi How To Emotion™

Relationships: SOPE, NamJin, side VMinKook

Summary: During the day, Yoongi works for the police as a forensic expert.

But when night falls, he becomes a nightmare.

A serial killer.

My notes: Just finished this one and wow I’m so in love! It seems really intimidating from the tags and summary, but I swear it is also super ooey gooey soft and mushy. There is lots of angst, suspense and hurt/comfort, but with a very happy ending! I actually avoided this fic for a few months cause I didn’t think I was in the right headspace for something super dark, but it was actually quite fluffy.

•

Jungkook’s House for the Wayward Werewolf by Rivertoforever

Rating: T for Non-Sexual Intimacy

Themes: Supernatural, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, slight Dom/sub dynamics, Werewolfs, Very Non-Traditional ABO, Asexual/Poly Relationship, Roomate AUish

Relationships: OT7 but very Jungkook-centric

Summary: Being the only human in a household of werewolves can lead to strange experiences, mixed signals, weird behaviour and a lap full of fur.

My notes: This is one of my favorite stories of all time! It’s unfortunately unfinished and has been for a while, so if you’re not a fan of WIPs this won’t be for you :( Otherwise, I reread it all the time! I remember loving the relationship and dynamic between the characters and how they were all very respectful of JK not wanting to be physical with them. A year later I discover I’m Ace! Haha! I consider this fic one of the many things that pushed me in the right direction. It’s very cute, fluffy and soft!

•

[And uh... I considered putting this on the list before but thought it was a little too heavy on sex/smut so I took it off, but I’ll leave it here for you to decide. I think that the smut scenes in this fic aren’t necessarily there for “smexy cock fun times” and are more outright statements on gender equality, sociology, informed consent and healthy relationships. Hence why I’ve left it in!]

Mentoring on Marsa by FlyYouFools1

Rating: E for Sex, Firm Dub-Con, Discussion of Non-Con, Violence, Unhealthy Relationships

Themes: ABO, Technically Aliens?, Societal Differences, Culture Shock, Kind of Sugar Baby AU, Viva La Omegan Revolution, Teaching Alphas to Not Be Dicks™, One Big Fat Metaphor for Real Life Gender Discrimination and Systematic Abuse

Relationships: VMinKook, YoonJinNamSeok

Summary: Jungkook comes to the planet Marsa after being promised a full scholarship to Marsa National University. When the scholarship falls through, his academic advisor gives him the number for a mentoring service for newly stranded omegas on Marsa. With rent due, no way home, and no success in finding a job, Jungkook calls the number. The organization sends him Min Yoongi, a fellow omega who's been living on Marsa for 8 years. Yoongi teaches him how to survive. Jungkook's first attempt at survival is alpha couple Jimin and Taehyung.

My notes: This is the really long part one that just finished. It’s 50 chapters of emotional healing, statements on consent, character growth and sneaky omegas. I’m a huge fan of non-traditional ABO fics, and I love when sex is treated not as a “just cause I can”, but as an actual example of gender politics and relationship growth. If anyone is aspec, this might not be the story for you! But if you can mentally push past the idea of sex, I assure you it’s not “porn for the sake of porn”.

[promisenolies]

A Writer Fed Up

I feel like this post/rant has been coming for a while. I realize that this might not be received well, but I guess that’s a risk I’m willing to take.  

I’ve been encountering some interesting takes and comments around my work as of late. And I feel like it needs to be addressed on a few different fronts. And yes, I could have continued with my life ignoring all these issues, as most people who do these behaviors are likely just doing it for attention. But...I feel that these things need to be said, if not only to give voice to many other writers/content creators who feel similarly.  

General points are as follows:  

The first and simplest point to make is this: the fanfiction writers in your fandom write these pieces – 1. for FREE  2. for THEMSELVES because they feel a call to create something. They/We do not do this for YOU. The sense of entitlement some readers have is uncalled for. Unless you’re paying us for our work, your opinion is not needed. At all.  

Comments and Kudos are the air we breathe as writers. We love when people appreciate our work, enjoy our work, and feel the need to let us know. HOWEVER, the comment section is not there for you to tell us how much you didn’t enjoy the piece. (see point 1)  

Everyone has personal tastes, yes? I have particular things I won’t read/write and I take no offense to others who feel differently. Again though, if you come across work that does not sit well with you or that you don’t enjoy – stop reading. That’s it. Don’t leave a comment, don’t bitch on timelines, don’t send passive aggressive curious cat messages. Just leave it alone. It’s that simple. I have particular tastes, I know that. But I don’t shit on writers who fall outside of what I enjoy. Because WHY!? They—again—are creating content for themselves and those who want to read it. And they’re doing so for free under no obligation to make anyone happy. Including—surprise—you and me! So again – if you don’t like ABO, don’t read it. If you don’t like MCD, don’t read it. If you don’t like BDSM, don’t read it. If you don’t like something specifically don’t. read. it.  I don’t know why this is so hard for readers to grasp.  

Specific points are as follows:  

I write vers/switch Jikook. That’s all I write. Yes, one-shots typically have only one role, but you’ll find a variety of who bottoms/tops in each of them. Claiming that I only wrote bottom Jimin fics after I was “called out” by some entitled person who didn’t care for my content is ridiculous. Especially considering the very first BTS piece I posted was Dressing Room Deviance which not only featured bottom Jimin – but it was also a VMinKook fic!  

On that note. I can’t believe I even have to say this, but what I write is FICTION. As in, despite them taking after the likeness of real Jimin and real Jungkook at the end of the day they are characters or interpretations of them (in my canon fics). And as characters, I write their sexual roles as I see fit. Sometimes I feel like they’d enjoy bottoming, sometimes I feel like they’d like to top. (See general points 1 and 3)  

But what really irritates me with this concerning fascination with sexual roles is that PEOPLE ARE MORE THAN SEX. Are you that incapable of understanding the complexities in human nature? Is it impossible for you to see them as multi-faceted and capable of multiple roles? Relationships are built on more than sex. I promise. And if you’re stuck in thinking otherwise, I greatly encourage you to speak with a professional about what healthy relationships are and what they look like. The sex is my work is ONE part of their relationship. There’s so much more going on behind it. Trust, humor, equality, love... If all you see in my work is the sex or if that’s all you can seem to bring yourself to comment on – quite honestly I don’t want you to read my stuff then. Because it’s CLEARLY over your head.  

Implying that I have no experience in sexual relationships is honestly the most ludacris and laughable thing I’ve encountered to date. One can only DREAM of the level of satisfaction I have in my sex like with my spouse. (Sorry to my little if they end up seeing this LOL) And that satisfaction and experience is in the very thing you seem to think I don’t understand the mechanics of.  

People’s inability to separate physical appearance, size, presentation, etc from their preconceived, heteronormative scripts/ideas is frustrating and sad. Again, people are complex and much more than their sexual roles. There is absolutely NO reason that the smaller partner can’t top. There’s absolutely NO reason that Jimin (let’s be specific here since these are my specific points) can’t be a top, can’t be assertive, can’t be portrayed outside your limited view of “babie Jimi”  Even in real life, yes he’s adorable – but he’s also legitimately scary as fuck and he could kick all our asses. And he’s not TINY. Let's be real. He’s 5’9”  - I can’t understand why so many people depict him as being like 5’3” or some shit. Trust me, that man can reach that top shelf to grab a bowl and doesn’t need Kook to do it for him. Stop making him a feminized, weak, damsel in distress. He’s a MAN and you’d do well to fucking realize that. Jungkook also deserves more than this general script of only topping, being stupid or aggressive, being incapable of feelings and intimacy, and always being some sort of protector. AKA – Jimin is not “the woman” and Jungkook is not “the man.” THEY ARE MEN. Your homophobic heteronormativity is showing and it’s disgusting.  

I do honestly enjoy writing bottom JK, mostly because it’s unconventional (for some gross heteronormative reason). So yeah, you might see a bit more of that in my one-shots. But honestly, maybe y’all need to expand your horizons. I enjoy breaking him out of the confining box so many of you put him in. Same with Jimin. Both he and Jimin deserve great sex, whatever form that happens to take in my work.  

Also, the fandom’s inability to separate sub/dom from bottom/top is also GREATLY CONCERNING. I have a lot of thoughts on this issue. Like A LOT. Mostly focused around the disgusting pornification of our youth and the sexualizing of violence. But at the end of the day my point will be short on this. (And keep in mind I will not debate this issue. This is one of my boundaries alright? - it’s HEALTHY to have boundaries) The main point of this is that sex doesn’t need to have power dynamics. It doesn’t. And I’ll concede on the point that some people specifically write BDSM and sub/dom work and that’s fine because again – points 1 and 3 in general points above. But what frustrates me is that even if there isn’t ANY power dynamics people will tag it that way. Why? Is it to get hits because people have been so culturally groomed to be aroused by that? It makes me sad that I miss out on likely some great pieces because it’s tagged wrong. Just because someone is assertive doesn’t mean they’re being a dom and just because someone let’s go and surrender’s to pleasure doesn’t mean they’re being a sub. Assertiveness is so important to have in sexual experiences because one needs to be able to voice what they like and what they don’t like. Assertiveness is not domming.  

Some people’s simple lack of understanding of intimacy truly saddens me. And I’m not talking about sex. I’m talking about INTIMACY. About knowing your partner, being there for your partner, talking through things and managing conflict as a team.  

This next one is a very specific rant point. If you haven’t read the “There And Back Again” series this might give spoilers and/or you might be lost. As a counselor, I can ASSURE you that the dynamics with Jungkook and Jimin include CARE and COMFORT on both sides. The way people seem to think that Jungkook wasn’t a caretaker for Jimin simply because he didn’t coddle him BLOWS MY MIND. Again, is it just because we have so FEW depictions of true intimacy and care for our partners? People process trauma in so many ways. Some people need the image that apparently so many of you draw up in your mind; the hugs, the soothing words, etc. Some people don’t. Jimin specifically in this piece didn’t need that kind of care. If you paid attention AT ALL to his character you would know that. This version of Jimin needed to feel like he was still capable, that he didn’t lose his strength and who he was, he needed to know that he still had PURPOSE. Jimin didn’t need to be coddled the way you seem to think he did. The way Jungkook didn’t make a big deal of Jimin going to therapy – that's the reaction Jimin NEEDED. If you can’t see Jungkook’s apologies for his focus on Jimin’s injuries and how he couldn’t do certain things as care, if you can’t see Jungkook’s desire to learn grounding techniques to help Jimin through flashbacks and panic attacks as care, if you can’t see Jungkook’s support of not just therapy but going to school as care...then I guess I don’t know what to tell you. But let it be known and clear that Jungkook took care of Jimin in all the ways he needed, and I’m not sorry if you can’t see it. Because THOSE depictions of care and intimacy are NEEDED (clearly) and I won’t write cookie-cutter bullshit just so people like it.  

On that note – people's weird dislike of Jimin bottoming at the end of that series is so strange to me. Like, why? Does it revert back to people’s massive inability to accept him as a potential bottom? Is it the inability to reconcile his incredibly masculine portrayal with their perceived feminine role? People say they don’t think he’d healed enough... literally the last chapter is THREE YEARS later. You think he didn’t put in some work in that time? Jesus. As for saying it didn’t seem natural? ...honestly that final scene with them is one of my absolute favorites...I know a few who would agree with me.  

I want to throw in one other comment/disclosure before y’all run in here and call me a hypocrite. I did recently call something out that honestly just needed to be, in my opinion. I’m sure much of that situation was due to me being a sexual assault advocate and recognizing the situation for what it was, and for recognizing the impact that the mislabeling could have on others. It was an intense moment, and I’m thankful that the creator was open to hearing me out in my escalated state. We talked through it, heard each other’s points and have moved on. And I still fully support them in their work as they are an incredible writer.  

I think that’s all I have. For now.  

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.  

[popliar]

Ateez in Seoul, 8 and 9 February 2020

Olympic Hall at Olympic Park

No one will believe this but I actually had my holiday with @flywithturtles planned before I knew the dates coincided with Ateez's Seoul concert dates. But it's true! I have the WhatsApp conversations to prove it!! Anyway I secured the tickets and all was well.

This is the first concert I've been to where they were handing out masks, making sure everyone had hand sanitizer and checking temperatures as you entered. Haha. Well they also checked our temperature going into the Line Friends store that day so, that's corona virus life. I was actually really worried the concerts would be cancelled, given so many other events have been, so it was a relief that it went ahead.

Structurally this is the same as the show I saw in August last year, after Wave/Illusion: starting hard with pirates, a lighter middle section, and a mythology-heavy last third. And then the encore which went for ages.

What's great to see is that the gaps and pacing downsides of the previous year have been corrected and improved. The pacing has been tightened up, the banter and ments flow much more smoothly and the show just feels very professional and well run.

Here's my post about last year's show: https://popliar.tumblr.com/post/187095347758/ateez-in-sydney-11-aug-2019

It's a shock to realise they've only been around one year four months but they were able to fill out a full 2.5 hour set, every song solid. And KQ spent proper money on this, the production was good - it's not like LAVISH but there were good stages and fancy screens and new VCRs and plenty of back up dancers, and it all worked well. There were maybe too many fireworks on the first night (I hate it when it obstructs the choreo) but they'd adjusted well on the second night.

Surprising but welcome - they had English subs for some of the ments. I don't think they were "live" subs because sometimes they'd get ahead of what the members were saying. But it was helpful. Even without them, body language and tone says a lot. Though I'm regretful that I don't understand Seonghwa's acrostic poems or all of their stupid jokes lol.

The show is called Fellowship and they leaned into it hard, asking Atiny to be part of their shared journey and to stick with them forever. It's a familiar refrain from other shows, but each time I find it both surprising and effective - this very overt, explicitly stated entreaty to be a fan, to enter into this imagined relationship, the appeal to reciprocity. "We've made you happy, make us happy too, be with us and we'll be with you."

But you can know a thing and it can still be effective. I did love the shows. I want them to be happy too!

A list of observations and random things:

Spoilers follow, I'd put it behind a cut but I can't figure out how on mobile haha

OK REALLY SPOILERS NOW

-first VCR to open the show expanded on the Treasure theme.

-Desire opens with blindfold choreo. Was this a gift for me? THANK U.

-for Lights, they had cute moments where they held up little speech bubbles over each others heads. They paired up with Hongjoong and Mingi, San and Wooyoung, Seonghwa and Yunho, and Yeosang and Jongho. Both nights, Woosan held hands. On the second night Yunho held Seonghwa's hand and Seonghwa was like a shy maiden. Mingi and Hongjoong had very strong flirty energy. Yeosang and Jongho are cute.

-the VCR in between part 1 pirates and part 2 fun boys showed what felt like a series of different dimensions? An ocean, a mountain, fields of flowers, cosmic surrealism, etc. As though each of them was alone somewhere in time and space.

-During If without you, they threw out balls to the crowd as gifts (mini riots ensued). Mingi put the empty basket on his head both nights, what a beautiful fool.

-Night 1 was the first time with the light stick! Hongjoong announced its official name: Lightiny (light of destiny) but also Tinybong lololol. The light stick is super pretty. I was tempted but didn't have time the first night. The second night it was sold out when I arrived!!!

-The VCR in between parts 2 and 3 is the really intriguing one. It paired them up into the Lights pairs again. Yeosang and Jongho searched for each other in a hall of billowing drapes. Mingi and Hongjoong were rockstars (with great lipstick). San and Wooyoung were mirrorverse versions of each other. Yunho and Seonghwa put together the pieces of a puzzle in a set that reminded me of both Treasure and Wonderland.

-In the intro to Say My Name on the first night, Hongjoong went halfway down the stairs then turned around, went back and grabbed his mic, then went down again lol. The second night he very firmly took his mic before descending the stairs lol.

-The final VCR before the encore showed them uncovering items on pedestals as though in a museum: a camera, a gramophone, a painting, a book of poetry by Yeats... Then they all created a painting together. When viewed through a red screen (like the puzzles in their albums) the pattern revealed a compass. They then all showed their wrists to reveal each had a compass tattoo.... WHAT IS THIS OT8 SOULMARK FIC!!!!!

-They said they had planned for every audience member to have this compass stamp (the Fellowship again) but it was cancelled due to health concerns. But we could see it with our true eyes, right???? On the second night, the 99s swarmed Seonghwa at this point to try to look down his shirt. I see. I see. (Later on Hongjoong also tried to peek into Mingi's shirt also fine just fine.)

-Early in the show Hongjoong said there would be clues through the show about the next steps in their concept/narrative. The hourglass and compass were very recurrent but these are not new. Hmm. I wonder.

-In one ment on night 1, Jongho spoke to all his hyungs informally and it was HILARIOUS. He did something similar on the second night, patting Yunho on the head and pinching Wooyoung's chin etc.

-During Star 1117 on the first night, Hongjoong and San started crying. Then in the following ment, they and Yunho and Wooyoung were crying, and Seonghwa and Jongho were teary. Yunho cried so hard (missing his grandfather!) that during Hongjoong's ment, Mingi quietly went over and gave him a towel. There were like five members in between that he passed to give him the towel, it was so sweet I'll cry. Night 2 felt more joyful and upbeat.

-Some ppl really left way too early like before the encore. The encore is half an hour long omg! You missed out on so many songs!!!!!

-On night 1 between main set and encore the crowd didn't quite know what to do. Huge kudos to the fans who led some cheers otherwise it would have been so quiet. Second night was better and also they kept the light sticks on while we were waiting which added to the atmosphere.

-They didn't sell a couple of sections in the hall at all, they were curtained off. It's interesting to think BTS had their first Muster here at around the same point in their careers. Like BTS, Ateez too are more popular globally than at home. They were beaten quite handily in voting on music shows by SF9 this comeback, who are more popular at home than internationally.

-It is great being in a huge fandom like BTS but also you know this is actually a great time to stan a group like Ateez. They're big enough to be exciting and have good shows, they are interesting and still developing, they're still playing intimate venues... They're good!!!!!

-A few of them had fake neck tattoos. San helpfully labeled himself "San" on the second night lol.

-Hongjoong briefly went off stage during sunrise On night 2. Hopefully just a technical issue.

-Treasure and Precious choreo start and end in the same place, echoing their musical connection.

-They had different encore outfits for Answer each night, before changing into hoodies. On night 2, Yeosang saw some of the others had scarves/banners tucked into their back pockets and was like "where's mine????" Instead of a banner, Yunho had a baseball cap. Seonghwa took his off and Hongjoong tied it around Seonghwa's wrist.

-For Star 1117, everyone held up their mobile phone lights. On night 2, San repeated the request in English too. Very pretty to see all the lights.

-On second night, Seonghwa and San got their mics and necklace tangled up during a ment lol.

Setlist:

(Intro)

Win

Horizon

Pirate King

(Introduction ment)

Medley: Twilight, Stay, My Way

Light

Mist

Desire

(VCR)

Illusion

Crescent

Wave

Sunrise

(Ment, lightstick announcement)

If without you

Aurora

Utopia

(VCR)

Say My Name

Dazzling Light

Hala Hala

Treasure

Precious

Wonderland

--

Encore:

(VCR)

Answer

(Ment)

Thank u

Star 1117

(Ment)

Promise

Dancing like butterfly wings

Setlist from: https://twitter.com/updateez/status/1226112679728812032?s=19

[fanfictionlive]

What is your pet peeve when it comes to k-pop fanfics?

(I know this is a little bit specific because of the "fandom", but I wouldn't dare to post this in actual k-pop subs because of the controversy around fanfics involving real people...)

First of all, I really am just curious how many of you read/write k-pop fics lol.

What I find the most annoying is definitely the huge crossover fics with like 4 groups at once and at least 10 relationship tags. It usually goes like this - I look up my favourite pairing and this tag monstrosity pops up and it has it all: BTS, maybe Got7, maybe some ATEEZ, BlackPink, some rookie group, Super Junior and maybe even G-Dragon and JYP himself. And my pairing is like the second to last, followed by a list of all possible kinks and sex positions. I'm absolutely not reading that.

Even worse, I start reading a fic where the author states that members from a different group will show up, it's a group you basically never heard of but you read it anyways because it has your fave rare pairing. Suddenly these unknown characters start popping up and you can't even keep up with the plot because you never even heard about these people! I absolutely don't mind using members from other groups as side characters, but I feel like that's an "easter egg" for those who know who it is, and it definitely should not be in your tags.

Also what appears a lot in k-pop fics is text fics where everyone has this silly nickname and it's "crackhead energy" and I cannot even be bothered, I'm 73 inside and I don't know what a yeet is.

I hope there are some kpop fic readers here, because I'd love to hear your opinions.

submitted by /u/memetsundere [link] [comments] from FanFiction: Where Magical Ponies battle Imperial Titans https://ift.tt/2ODbR7n

[bangtanficrecs]

Lost & Found Batch #19

Can’t start up the blog again without posting the newest batch! As always, if you happen to know the fic the ask is looking for, reply to this post or send us an ask with the request number and title/author. If you happen to know any fics from Past Batches, those are more than welcome as well. Thank you!! ~ Admin P

1)  There are werewolves and hunters. Jungkook and his dad are hunters. The rest of BTS are like a pack. The people close to Kook and his dad Is VIXX 95% sure. Hunters have jobs like police and Kook started his job. Meet Jin who works in the morgue also meets v. Accidently finds out jin is a Wolf. Jin dosent come in for work. Meets V again eventually falls for him. Dad locks him in his room. Escapes from window to save the other BTS. His dad shoots him making VIXX distrust his dad. VKook/Ao3

I'm only human (after all) by Lalaithwen

2)  Hi! I want to ask if you know this fic. The members where assassins or something? And they were separated into groups with OCs or other idols. There were three people in a group with a person from rach classification. One of the classifications was named epsilon(?) Like I think the classifications were based on eyesight, accuracy, and intellect. I would really love if you find this!

3) Hello! I have lost a fic I was reading. It is a mafia au with supernatural elements where suga is the boss and rest is working for him and jimin was a succubus working in his brothel and then he was a witness suga was protecting him in his apartment so its mainly yoonmin and taekook was a side pairing. It was a long and chaptered fic and was soo good. had bunc of other kpop characters. Can you please help me find it thank you so much 😊 🙏🏻

浮世 U K I Y O by Sharleena

4) hi loves ♡ I'm hoping you could help me find a fic? it's basically namjoon/everyone but each chapter is a different storyline with a different pairing. in each story namjoon is homeless or really really poor and the member in that chapter helps him and they fall in love. and joon is always rlly bad at his jobs. one chap I remember was with hobi and he owned a dance studio that joon worked at and joon started sleeping in hobis office ^°^ hope you can help find it ~

Phosphenes by CynoDemure

5) Hi, I’ve been trying to find a fix where Taehyung isn’t a part of BTS, but suddenly they respond to his tweet and shit goes down and they offer him a ticket to tour and room with them. Tae is a YouTuber or has a channel and he lives in a really nice apartment and blasts BTS music to the point where someone comes up and yells at him? I think that happens, and BTS watch his videos. It’s on AO3. If you do find it then thank you so much.

Perfection by orphan_account

6) Hi hi! I was trying to find a fic. I think yoongi had gotten a tattoo and it was of a tiger?? And I think kookie was the artist??? That's all I remember sadly :<

watercolor by TheHalesNyx

7) Hi! I'm looking for a fic I lost track of a while ago. It was Namkook, & what I remember is that they didn't get along bc NJ makes JK feel inferior, but ot7 go on a trip & they end up rooming together. They all get drunk, & NJ ends up offering at some point to have sex with JK. It was ongoing, & the last part I remember is JK going off on NJ & walking onto the balcony & NJ follows. Super vague & probably unhelpful but does anyone know?? Any help is appreciated please & thank you!! ♡

8) Hi! Can you help me find a story?? I’m looking for a story where Jungkook moves into an apartment building where the rest of BTS lives after leaving a traditional family, might have been ABO. He meets taehyung and eventually lives with the rest of them, I remember that two of the members adopt two children and jungkook accidentally gives one of them food they’re allergic too. Thank you for the help!

dust by lotuschae (orphan_account)

9) Hi! I'm hoping you guys could help me find a fic? i'm looking for a taekook fic where they meet again at an event and taehyung didn't expect jungkook to present as an alpha. in the fic mates mark each others with scars and jungkook still has the scar that tae gave him when they were young (tae didn't have a scar cos they got scared from the blood). In the fic jimin is an alpha and the very start of the fic was vmin rushing to the event cos they fell asleep.  [cont] seokjin and namjoon are betas in the fic if i remember correctly. Also, i'm not sure if this is the same fic but jk set suga's contact image as yoonji and when he bumped into taehyung and jimin at the market yoongi called him to ask him to hurry and jimin saw the contact photo and was interested lol so he asked jk for yoongi's number thinking he was a girl. When tae and jm go to jk's dance studio he sees yoongi there with jk and thought they were twins lol. [cont] SORRY FOR SENDING SO MANY MESSAGES but i would be really grateful if you guys knew which fic (might be separate fics?) i'm looking for. I've tried searching tags and scrolling through my history but i couldn't find anything :( thank you so much in advance and sorry for spamming your inbox :')

10) Hello! I'm looking for a fic I read last year. It's a Namgi that I think is set in college. I don't remember much but it has a scene where Namjoon is getting beat up in a locker room/gym at high school and Yoongi finds him because he's going to basketball practice. Yoongi runs to get the principal and the bullies get expelled. Namjoon tells Yoongi/he figures out, that Namjoon planned it to get the bullies expelled. It's a how-they-met story. I think Yoongi was class president too. Thank you! :)

11) I looked through you tags and tried to find it on ao3 too but I can’t :( can you help,,,, it’s a junghope where (I think) Jungguk is having a hard time in college and Hoseok is like “hey make a bucket list of things you want to do” and so they do and then find feeling along the way. I very specifically remember two of the items on the list,, 1) riding a Segway 2) being fucked against a wall Thank you!!!❤️❤️

12)  Hi! I've been looking for a 1 (or 2) chapter jikook fic. Jimin recently broke up with an asshole. Jungkook works at some kind of gun range/shooting place. JM is convinced to take a class there, and JK asks him on a date. After the date, JM never calls JK, and it upsets JK because he feels like he was led on. Actually, JM's ex had been bugging him and emotionally abusing JM into thinking he wasn't good enough. In the end, JM explains it, and jikook get together. Thank you for your help!

13)  Hi, I'm looking for a age swap fic where the members wake up with their ages swapped. I remember the first one was Jimin and Jungkook waking up with their ages swapped, and then after that it was Yoongi and Taehyung, and then they would eventually forget that they weren't actually that age, and the other members were the only ones who knew that they weren't actually that age. Also there was Taekook (I think). Can anyone help me find this fic? Thanks

im not gonna call you hyung by aprofessorstale

14)  Hi! Could you please help me find a fic? I read this awhile ago and I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s a Yoonseok fic where Yoongi and Hobi got into a fight because I think Yoongi had a soft spot for Jimin and tried comforting him and Hobi was jealous or so. They decided to take a break from the relationship and all of the members urged them to talk it out but they were stubborn not to. Also Jimin and Yoongi were never dating. I’m sorry if it’s vague and not making any sense.

15)  Hey! Looking for this Jikook fic where they're both sons from rival companies but have been in a sexual relationship since boarding school? Can't remember the name. Thanks!

All Your Glory by eumorious

16)  Hi I'm not sure if you can help me find this since it's a smau and now a fic. Its jikook, hs. I think jm is rich and jk is a hockey player or something. But jm likes tae and asks jk to teach him how to do sexual stuff but also fake dates him and they end up real dating.

17) Hello, I've been searching for this one fic on AO3 where Jimin gets betrayed/stabbed? by Taehyung. Taehyung seemed to be really skittish and was freaking Jimin out. I also know Jungkook ends up marrying a detective? If you guys don't know it's okay!

18)  Hi! I’ve been looking for this one fic- I think it was Yoongi/Hoseok/Jungkook? And Yoongi was a tattoo artist along with another kpop singer (not BTS). I also remember at some point Yoongi gets a birthday cupcake that says “Hyung loves you” and he ends up attempting suicide too? Thanks for any help! 😭

Pati by signifying_nothing Note: The fic is locked and requires an AO3 account to view

19)  For the love of my sanity please please help me find this fic. Its taekook, bottom kook top Tae. Its either a two part chapter fic or two part serious. The first part I belive is a fic where taehyung does freaky ass shit to Jungkook so in the next part, jungkook gets revange on Tae. But more importantly, the second part features Taehyung being hand cuffed to the bed, and Jungkook is teasing him. Taehyung is very dom and frustrated at his sub. (A03) Thank you

Things To Do Before You Die by SevenSoulmates Note: The fic is locked and requires an AO3 account to view

20) I'm not sure if this account is still alive, but I'll give it a try. I'm looking for a bangtan fic where one of them lost his pregnant wife and after her funeral he went to the bar. He got drunk and got into one night stand and that person got pregnant. I don't remember the paring, but Jungkook might be one of them. I'm sorry for my English.

21)  hello! im looking for a series of one shots all in the same universe, its ot7 smut and was on ao3, with i believe 60+ parts? and it had hoseok as straight in the first few parts. ive been looking for ages but cant find it 😭

[saebyeog-i]

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

Who are you? 

I’m a 900 Year Old Swamp Witch™.  

What’s your name? 

Swamp Witch™. 

Ha ha, no really, what should I call you? 

*gestures vaguely* Idk, Star, I guess? 

Who do you write for? 

NCT (Taeil - 00 line) + EXO (minus Jongdae) when I’m feeling emo (you can’t tell looking at the content I put blog but they are my ults lol)

What groups do you follow?

*cracks knuckles* I’m a HUGE ass multi, let’s not talk about the 100+ albums I have amassed in the last two years: 

Fuck I don’t know, uhhhh NCT OT23 + sub units, BTS, EXO + sub units + soloists, uhh uhhhh Sunmi, Chungha, SNSD {Taeyeon/Hyoyeon/Yuri/Tiffany for now music wise}, (G)I-DLE, Mamamoo + solo works, Red Velvet, Day6, Everglow, sort of Seventeen, sort of Monsta X, Onewe, Oneus, Ateez, Eric Nam, Heize, IU, KARD, TVXQ!, Stray Kids, lil bit of Dreamcatcher, GOT7, TXT, BlackPink, ITZY, I don’t like stan Gray particularly but I do dig his music, Wonho, SHINee + soloists, SuperM, I don’t know much about Hyolyn but I love her music, uhhhmmmm I think that’s everyone on my frequent rotation playlists. 

Who are your biases? 

He’ll be the death of me.

My American k-pop heartthrob. 

The perfect score. 

I’d like her to step on me. Please.

He is my sunshine, my (first) and only sunshine.

Who are you bias wreckers? 

It’s always missing him hours in this house.

The True Moon Moon, and Another Aquarius man.

My favorite himbo. 

Someone who needs to stay in his lane more.

A Whole Ass Capricorn.

Anyone else you love? 

All of them, always. Aside from being an EXO OT9 and NCT OT21 OT23 stan? 

My emotional support kpop boys.

The sun is my SON.

What did we do to deserve this leader?

A Whole Ass Anime Character

Wait you’re weirdly honest about some things and secretive about others, why? 

I talk and yell in my tags a lot. I’m here because I want to be slightly thirsty and anonymous on the internet. But also I have a huge fucking ego and a hard time shutting up about myself. I’m a Libra and I work in Entertainment and live in LA, so a lot of my Fics— either AUs or idolverse— relate to that or have Readers that also work in Entertainment or Creative-Adjacent industries. Sometimes I yell about the close encounters I’ve had with kpop idols, which were usually in instances before I was into kpop or knew who those specific idols were. I may or may not have once flipped off the crew of the What A Life MV shoot for blocking my shortcut home from work when they were filming on a side street in Beverly Hills. 

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

[i-would-rather-be-queen]

Replies to Koala Anon <3

In which I ramble about 2PM and get link happy. ^^

I'm in the Mariana Trench tbh >.< yes! It's lovely watching them grow from beastly idols to suave gentlemen 😍 I'm watching Khun's first WGM episode & I'm just screaming the whole time omg I have liquified into goo just as you said lol. I'm squeezing my pillow and hiding behind it most of the time 😂 he's too much for my heart! He, Wooyoung, Taec and Chansung are pulling my heart in all different directions idk what to do lol. How do you survive watching them?? Sending koala hugs~🐨❤️-koala anon

I literally lol’d at the Mariana Trench! ^^ I can’t wait til you get to the others too. Wooyoung’s was just so adorably awkward (plus I love the actress he’s paired with). I swear these shows are so cringe worthy but so cute too. 

Sry for another one but I had to tell you! I was watching Go Crazy when my bf came home & he was like uhh but then he started dancing to it with me 😂 we blasted it in the car on our way to the grocery store at midnight lol. It's definitely going on my playlist for when I need a boost! Lots of hugs as always~🐨❤️-koala anon

Ah! I’m jealous! I would love to have a real life friend or boyfriend who got into kpop even a little. Keep dragging him into the black hole dear. ^^

It's Saturday night & I'm watching 2pm videos ^^ they have me going from "omg so cute!" to "ah I feel so warm & fuzzy" to "is it hot in here or is it just me *sticks my head in the freezer*" I'm squealing & rolling around on the couch I'm loving them so much lol I'm so sad I didn't look into them sooner! I love talking to you about them ^^ thank you for being so sweet you're one of my fave ppl on here <3 ps the Junho AU was AMAZING! You blew me away yet again! Sending hugs~🐨❤️- koala anon

Yay! I’m so happy you liked the Junho fic. I was hoping you’d see it. ^^ 2PM is good at evoking an array of feels. I like talking with you about them too. It’s a good way to keep in mind all the reasons we love them. ^^

Speaking of feels I’ll toss a couple links your way: 

This one is a lot of bts stuff from their earlier days and the last minute is bts of them filming ‘Without U’. It just shows how miserable the conditions were, how much they cared about doing a good job. There’s a part with Junho that breaks my heart. 

~

This is Taec breaking down in tears at their first performance after Jay left 2PM. They were convinced fans would abandon them. Again, it just shows how much all of this means to them. I wish like hell it was subbed. It’s interesting to see how shocked Chansung is to see Taec crying. Then how they’re a team as half go to comfort him and the other three cover for him and continue on. That kind of thing gets me, lol. 

~

This next one is one of the most WTF moments of 2PM history (imho). So cringe-inducing but hilarious and then back to cringing.

~

And this is a stage performance that has not only a beautiful arrangement but, well...you’ll see. ^^

~

And one last link...brace yourself for feels. <3<3<3

I hope I'm not bothering you with too many asks >.< but I was wondering if you could recommend some of your favorite 2pm writing blogs? I've devoured your writings several times over so I need to feed my 2pm hunger xD I hope you're having a lovely day with lots of dog snuggles ^^ sending hugs~🐨❤️- koala anon

Not at all. ^^ Unfortunately I don’t know of that many blogs that currently write for them. Admin Tam over at @daebakinc has written some LOVELY 2PM fic and there is a brand new blog @2pmreact just getting underway. 

There are some that are now defunct but I still have links over at my rec blog. Here is my 2PM tag link. Happy reading!