#my finals are a few weeks away and i just finished reviewing the chapters im Anxious(tm)

[makotokyoqoku-archived]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[biletdoux]

stages of love | j.jh

Pairing | jung jaehyun (nct) + female!reader Rating | M Genre + Tropes | college!au, romance (angst, fluff, smut) Warnings | explicit language, alcohol consumption, instant love?, sexual content (drunk sex, receiving and giving oral, penetration, cow girl position, nipple play), greyzone fidelity Length | 15k+

Summary | A playlist for the trials and tribulations of a beating heart

(Or; your relationship with Jung Jaehyun in ten songs.)

Note: ahhhhhhh!!!! we finally did it boisssss. this fic has been a long time coming and honestly im sick and tired of jaehyun. i’ve spent too long thinking about him for this fic smh. this is also my first time writing smut so we’ll see how that goes lmao. anyway this was a long labor of love so please let me know what you thought of it !!! <333

1. Peach by IU

smitten at first sight.

“How can I explain this feeling?”

“Alright, I think that sums up about everything we need to cover for today’s lecture. Remember, most of this will be on your final exam. Any questions before you’re all dismissed?” 

Your professor looks up from the board, scans the room and all he sees are most of the students waiting with bated breath, itching to leave the class, and half of those students having already packed their belongings in anticipation. He held them back an extra twenty five minutes today, which is notably longer than previous lectures in which he delayed dismissal.

“Okay, you’re free to go. Chapters nineteen and twenty are due the next time we meet.”

You breathe out a sigh of relief, ready to head out with the rest of the class. You like Professor Jang and find that he makes history somewhat digestible, but he has a tendency to lose track of time, which is inconvenient, but more so today since you have agreed to meet up with Yeri. You glance at your phone to see text notifications and curse to yourself. You’re already ten minutes late and Yeri is many things and impatient is one of them. 

You’re one of the first out of the small lecture hall and you shoot her a quick reply before making your way to the oncampus cafe. Through quickened strides and shortcuts engrained from cross-campus treks from class to class, you arrive in record time. You’re slightly out of breath and impressed by your speed, but you stop, frozen in your tracks when you see Yeri’s displeased face. You find her situated in a small, but cozy corner next to the windows, already unpacked with notebooks and papers strewn on the desk ready to review for exams. It's one of the best study spots in the cafe and you immediately know your best friend had to come extra early to nab such a sought after table. 

“About time,” she scowls, “what took you so long?”

You shoot her an apologetic look, “aww, Yeri,” you pout your lips a little too dramatically, “I’m sorry. I just came from history and you know how Professor Jang is.” 

Yeri looks at your jutted lips in disgust, but then her face softens in consideration. “Hm, I do know Jang.” She scrunches up her nose remembering her time in his class last semester. “That old man can talk for days on end and he never lets anyone leave class early. I guess I’ll let you go this time.” 

You beam at her knowing she’s no longer angry for your tardiness. “Great, drinks are on me today. It’s the least I can do for being late.” Yeri forgives as easily and as quickly as she loses her temper. You learned this after a few weeks of being her roommate. 

Yeri says nothing in silent agreement and you place your stuff down across the table next to the chair she reserves for you. You pull out your wallet and weave through the packed cafe to head to the order counter. The line is long and you patiently review the menu. Your roommate has consistent tastes and always orders a vanilla frappuccino regardless of which cafe she goes to, but you base your decision on your mood. You mull over your choices and by the time you reach the barista taking your order, you decide you’re in an ‘iced Americano’ kind of mood today. You have exams on top of exams you need to review for and a stronger caffeine kick is much needed.

After paying, you head back to the table with two drinks in tow. Yeri takes her drink and after you both take a few sips and catch up for the day, you dive straight to work. The two of you decide to review for statistics. 

Between re-summarizing chapters and answering review questions, you muse to yourself about how your college experience thus far hasn't been that much different from your high school life. You didn’t necessarily hate high school, per say, but it was safe to say you didn’t enjoy it. Your heart was in the arts, specifically music, and you had found studying the core subjects to be boring and tedious. You remember being ecstatic to have been accepted and enrolled in a performing arts college, foolishly thinking your days of solving differential equations and memorizing chemical formulas were over. You specifically remember daydreaming of your hours being filled with keyboard practice and composition notes and only such things. Somehow the reality of mandatory general education courses slipped your mind when you constructed such fantasies.

Despite frivolous and preconceived notions of college, you have already survived a semester and you are nearly through your second. 

“Hey, do you remember when this stats assignment is due?” Yeri’s inquiring voice snaps you out of your brief reverie and you search your cluttered brain for a date.

“Uh, I think it’s due, like, a few days before the final, but I’d have to double check.” 

Yeri nods. “Alright, well let’s take a small break. We have some time till then, we don’t have to finish all of it today.” 

You happily agree and set down your pen. Yeri takes a sip of her frappuccino and you lean over the table to get closer to her. “Anyway, did you hear about what happened with Jiwon and Youngjae from the entertainment management department?”

Her eyes glisten with wicked interest. “No. Do tell.”

Break time is always synonymous with gossip hour between you and Yeri. 

You spend the next fifteen minutes dishing what you know and Yeri offers her own input whenever she feels fit. 

“And they think they’re being discreet, but the whole dorm knows they’ve been sneaking around, but guess wha─” Before you can finish your sentence, you are cut off by a loud and energetic voice calling out Yeri’s name.

The two of you look up to see a slim and boyish brunet waving to Yeri and excitedly making his way to your table. He looks vaguely familiar, but you can’t quite place your finger on it, so you let it go.

He smiles happily at Yeri and greets her. “Hey Yeri, how’s it going?” He notices you there and gives you a polite wave, which you return in the same manner.

Yeri replies back breezily, but with her full attention. “Good. Did you need anything, Mark?” 

He flushes just the slightest bit, but it doesn’t escape your eyes. “Erm, nothing I just wanted to remind you that we’re meeting for the music theory project tomorrow at four. I would’ve texted, but I forgot to get your number in class, and I saw you here and thought it was a good opportunity to tell you.” 

Yeri’s eyes widen, “ah right! I completely forgot about it. It’s a good thing you found me here today, huh? Here, I’ll give you my number.”

She reaches her hand out her hand expectantly, and Mark is confused before scrambling to pull out his phone. You can tell Mark looks flustered while Yeri is calmly putting in her contact information. After finishing, she hands his phone back, “okay, all set. Just shoot me a text so I have your number as well. Thanks for reminding me today or I probably would’ve forgotten and not have shown up or something.” 

Mark smiles again, this time a little more sure than before. “All good. I’ll see you tomorrow, Yeri.” 

They wave goodbye and you watch Mark scamper from the cafe. Your eyes follow him, but Yeri is already focused on you again, paying Mark’s retreating form no mind. 

“So…” you start.

“So?” She returns.

“He’s cute.”

“Yeah, maybe,” she shrugged. “I barely know him though. We have music theory together, but this is the first time we’ve talked all semester and we’re only talking because we got paired up for a project.”

Yeri seems apathetic and you study her closely. You notice she’s acting a little too stiffly carefree to be truly indifferent to the situation. You can’t help, but to tease her a bit. “Well, make the most out of this project then.”

Yeri gives you a hard look and you decide to let it go despite finding your best friend’s situation to be amusing. 

“Anyway, keep telling me about Jiwon and Youngjae. You never finished.” Yeri changes the topic, knowing that you might decide to pester her again if she doesn’t.

“As I was saying,” you started up again. A figure outside catches your attention and you peer outside through the window past Yeri’s shoulders. You realize it’s Mark and you watch with interest as he gestures excitedly, pointing to something in his hand, you assume his phone, to some of his friends. From there your eyes wander absentmindedly from one person to the next, and it’s when you see him. 

The reaction is almost instantaneous. 

“Like you were saying?” Yeri urges, but her words fall on deaf ears, for all your attention is captured by the boy next to Mark with heart-shaped lips.

When you see said boy laugh, you notice he has moon for eyes and you unconsciously suck in a sharp breath. You must have been staring too intently without noticing because he turns his head in your direction and you two hold direct eye contact. Like a deer caught in headlights, you freeze and lose all rational thought. Your head is completely blank. You have never seen someone so beautiful and your mind does not know how to process any sensory information at the moment.

Someone calls the boy away and the entire group of friends leave. It’s only then do you find yourself releasing a breath you didn’t know you had been holding onto so tightly. Your heart is pounding and you feel as though blood is rushing through your ears. 

“Hello?” Yeri sounds annoyed, but you struggle to find the words to answer her. 

You feel a sudden heat rush to color your cheeks a vibrant red and a feeling surges through you that leaves you out of breath and weak at the knees. A steady warmth washes over you quietly and you feel it deep within yourself and you can’t help but let out a small laugh.

How silly, you muse. Not to be dramatic, but you think you’re in love.

2. Shadow by f(x)

adoration from afar. 

“I’m really really into you.”

The next few weeks are packed to the brim with assignments and papers, but despite this, you still find time for your personal research into the boy who was with Mark that day. 

Being the obvious first and easiest option, you beg Yeri to ask Mark directly about his friend, but she immediately shoots you down. 

“No. Absolutely not. At least not anytime soon anyway,” she huffs. “I’ve barely held two full conversations with him, like hell the next is gonna be about his friend just cause my best friend started thirsting over him after one glance. I mean come on, girl.” She shakes her head at you. 

Yeri’s right and you apologize to her for being thoughtless of her situation. She doesn’t say it, but she seems really hopeful about the music theory project and what might bloom from it. You would not want to impede on such possibilities of happiness for your friend, so you let that option go, but Yeri promises to help in other ways and she does. 

Somehow between caffeine fueled cram sessions and sleep deprivation, you, with Yeri’s help manage to find out more about the boy. You casually ask around in your contemporary writing and production department and she offers help by searching her vocal performance department. 

You find out his name is Jung Jaehyun and he’s a third year in the musical theatre department and that he’s a member of the local chapter of the performing arts fraternity on campus. You also discover his Instagram handle and you find yourself skimming through his page throughout the day more often  than you’re willing to admit to any living soul. 

You occasionally see him around campus since you first saw him at the cafe and each time, you can feel your heart hammer in your chest and you become so flustered to the point of your sympathetic nervous system activating. Unfortunately for you, your body unconsciously chooses flight each and every time at the sight of Jaehyun because you can always feel your knees go weak and your body lurch away to escape in any direction that isn’t Jaehyun’s. You kind of hate yourself each time you do, but you can’t help it. He’s just so pretty that it’s intimidating!

You try to think positive after the bouts of shame you experience after each escapade. 

Well there’s no way to embarrass yourself in front of him if you run away before having the chance to, right?

Even thinking about it now in the comfort of your bed, you can’t shake your self-consciousness and bury your face in a large pillow resting on your knees. Your cheeks are burning and you don’t know what to do. 

“Hey, why don’t you just talk to him, instead of moping all day and stalking his profile like a creep.” Yeri’s crisp words cut through your musings and you glance up to see her entering your shared room in the dorms.

“Shut up. It’s not like I have a benevolent match-making professor who happens to pair me up with my crush for an end-of-semester project.” You retort back before sighing dramatically, “I literally have no excuse to talk to him. We’re not in the same year or major. We don’t even have mutual friends. Unless, y’know, you and Mark hit it off, who knows.” 

Yeri sits down next to you on your small twin bed, resting her head on your shoulder while letting out an equally dramatic sigh, “yeah, well, Mark’s so dense, all the divine intervention in the world isn’t going to help me.” 

You let out snort, “what’s up with you two anyway?”

“Y’know, I could’ve sworn he was into me and I had a chance with him, but every time we meet up we literally only work on the project and nothing else. Every time I sort of tried to do something I get shot down. Like I told him I was kind of chilly today in the library, and he looks all thoughtful for a moment but all he ends up saying is ‘yeah, all the buildings on campus are always cold, huh? Good thing I always bring a jacket with me. You should bring one too next time, I don’t want you getting cold.’ And then he just turns back to the project like nothing. Can you believe him?” Yeri complains and you swear her annoyance is palpable. “And every time I text him to hangout, he thinks it’s to work on the project. I honestly can’t tell if he’s really that stupid or if he’s just not into me.” 

You laugh at her unfortunate, but undeniable state of love affairs. 

“Really? That bad? I remember him being all blushy when he asked for your number,” you recall. “And you should’ve seen how he looked when he showed off he got your number. Well that’s what it looked like anyway, I could be wrong.”

“Well, at least I’ll get a good grade though. Mark is nothing if not diligent and hard-working, with him being a double major and all.” Yeri sounds resigned however, she sighs again, this time more frustrated and you hear the determination in her voice. “Alright, after finals, for sure we’re gonna hit the clubs. We need to let loose, have some fun.”

You agree with her to appease her short temper, but deep down you feel disappointed. You feel sorry for your friend, having genuinely wanted Mark and her to work out, but a small and selfish part of you felt sorry for having no bridge to Jaehyun at all if it didn’t work out between Yeri and Mark. Looks like you were stranded now and you’d have to find a way to Jaehyun one way or another, but your line of help ends here.

Shaking away such negative thoughts, you think to yourself how soju bombs and dance floors don’t so bad after such an intense exam period after all. It will definitely take your mind off of things for sure.

And even though you say this to yourself, you know your mind will still be plagued with Jung Jaehyun no matter how much you try.

3. What Is Love by EXO-K

careful contemplation. 

“I can’t explain what I feel.”

“Mark, tell me you did not.” The disbelief in Johnny’s voice made the situation all the more hilarious and even Jaehyun, who’s the calmer of the two, couldn’t suppress the guffaw from escaping his lips. 

The tips of Mark’s ears flush a light pink and he tries to deliver a convincing argument, but all that comes out is a meek stammer, further driving Johnny up the wall.

When Mark came up to his and Johnny’s room asking for advice, Jaehyun had an idea of where it was going to lead, considering Mark’s clueless disposition and inexperienced track record, but Jaehyun had no idea it was going to be this bad. 

Mark, having developed a crush on a fellow vocal performance major in his music theory class, came to Johnny, his frat big, to spill his guts and ask for advice constantly. Being Johnny’s roommate, meant Jaehyun was also privy to all the details of Mark’s love life and he had no problem giving advice to the amusing first year student, which Mark appreciated because going to Johnny meant a clowning session before he could get any useful nuggets of information. 

When Mark’s music theory professor randomly assigned the two for the end of semester project, Mark was one part excited and two parts nervous, resulting in a frazzled mess. He has been going up to the second room on the right of the second floor of the frat house almost every other day to ask for advice since then. 

Johnny was thrilled when he initially heard of the project, already envisioning his little’s love prospects, stating something along the lines of “my little’s gonna get laid!” 

However, now looking at Johnny rubbing his temples in exasperation, Jaehyun can tell that his roommate’s initial enthusiasm has dissipated. 

Mark’s daily roadblock today consisted of his crush giving him the cold shoulder and being much more snappy than before in the project meet up earlier. Mark recalls Yeri’s anger toward him and racks his brain for an answer. Even Johnny and Jaehyun are stumped at the sudden behavior, assuming that things were going smoothly from Mark’s previous reports filled with clumsy, but endearing and ultimately positive signs. It’s only when Mark offhandedly mentions her so-called ‘strange’ comment about the temperature, does it become clear why Yeri’s attitude suddenly shifted so drastically.

“I mean, I don’t know what I did wrong.” Mark’s second attempt to defend himself has Johnny flaring his nostrils in indignation and Jaehyun has to turn away in an attempt to stifle his laughter.

“Dude, she’s so into you. Or, at least she was, I don’t know about it anymore.” Johnny starts after calming down. “She left herself wide open for you to take a clear shot and you effectively said to her face, ‘thanks but no thanks’ and then walked away. No wonder she’s pissed, I’d be pissed too.” 

“Well, what was I supposed to do then?” Mark counters. 

“Mark,” Johnny begins, his tone dry and coarse, “you’re killing me.”

Jaehyun deems this the perfect time to step in, the laughter about done coursing through his system at this point. He clears his throat before offering his input, “It’s not too, too bad. Johnny’s just being dramatic. If she likes you enough, she’ll probably forgive you if you play your cards right from here on out.” 

Mark perks up, his attention solely on Jaehyun. 

Jaehyun hums absentmindedly to himself, gathering and organizing his thoughts to properly explain exactly where and how Mark went wrong and what to do moving forward. When Jaehyun opens his mouth to speak, Mark is glued on to every word and Jaehyun can see the gears in his brain whirring at high speeds. 

By the time Jaehyun is done, Johnny has calmed down and Mark nods his head fervently in understanding. 

“Ah, that makes so much sense now! I got it now.” 

Despite his assurances, both Johnny and Jaehyun know Mark will be back soon. 

“Alright little, listen up,” Johnny starts. “Here’s the game plan from here on out.” 

Johnny goes off on a sermon, determined to help his little ‘get some’ as Johnny so delicately puts it. Jaehyun can see it’s not the most tasteful of word choice for Mark to hear, but the youngest says nothing. 

Lounging lazily in the bean bag on his side of the room, Jaehyun knocks his head back and thinks of a few weeks back when he accompanied Mark and some other frat members to the rec center for some basketball. Jaehyun remembers Mark was bemoaning the fact he forgot to ask for some girl’s number and it was as if a higher entity heard the boy’s laments and felt especially gracious, because right as they were passing the cafe, Mark stopped in his tracks and suddenly ran off into the busy building. 

The group of frat boys watched him excitedly weave his way through the crowd of bodies and occupied tables to reach a table with two girls. When they saw the girl putting her number into Mark’s phone, Johnny elbowed Jaehyun, and like a proud parent Johnny exaggeratedly acknowledged his little. “They grow up so fast, don’t they, Jaehyun.” Johnny even wiped an imaginary tear from his eye to really send the message home.

It was only a few moments later and Mark came bounding out of the cafe, eager to show everyone how lucky it was that he happened to see her. “I mean what are the odds, right?” the said boy exclaimed so happily, his cheer so infectious, Jaehyun couldn’t help himself from letting out a laugh of his own. 

Jaehyun turned to give Mark an encouraging pat on the back and it’s when he notices a pair of eyes on him. He turns fully to come in the direct line of sight of a girl whose eyes, Jaehyun imagined to have been very warm, had they not been burning holes into him. Her intense gaze slightly unnerved him, but not to the point of pulling away. He found himself entranced and the only thing that broke the quick spell was Johnny’s voice, calling him to move it along. 

Jaehyun recalls easily breaking eye contact and giving little thought to the strange girl with fire for eyes, but as the days passed, Jaehyun couldn’t shake the thought of her from his mind. 

Even now in the comfort of his room and with Johnny and Mark not even a foot away, carefully planning Mark’s love endeavors, all Jaehyun’s mind can really focus on is the thought of you. 

Jaehyun is sure he’s only looked at you for less than a minute, but somehow he’s able to clearly trace out the image of you that day, like a perfect snapshot. 

“Yo Jaehyun,” Johnny calls. “You good? You’ve been spacing out, bro.”

“Yeah, I’m good.” Jaehyun answers offhandedly, before contemplating to himself. Was he good? Jaehyun wouldn’t necessarily say he’s bad in any way, but it isn’t normal for him to have the thought of a girl remain so clearly engraved in his mind for so long, and even less common for it to actually be a girl he doesn’t even know nonetheless. It’s not a pressing issue, but it does bother him. He weighs over the next steps in his mind. 

“Alright, just making sure.”

With one last thought, Jaehyun concludes to himself that it’s time to tackle his concern at hand head-on. 

“Actually,” he starts, “Mark, do you remember the girl next to Yeri the day you asked for her number?” 

Mark quirks his head in thought and Jaehyun can see Johnny raise his eyebrows in sudden interest. 

“Uh kinda,” Mark answers. “I think she’s a CWP major. I’m pretty sure we shared an arranging class last semester, but like, I don’t know her personally or anything; it was a large lecture. To be honest, I don’t even think she recognized me at all, judging from her reaction that day. Why, what’s up?”

Jaehyun nods, absorbing the information, giving Johnny ample time to fire away. 

“Yeah Jaehyun,” Jaehyun can visualize the glint in Johnny’s eyes just from hearing his mischievous tone. “What is up? I haven’t seen you ask about a girl in a hot minute. Thought you suddenly went abstinent without telling me or something.”

Jaehyun isn’t quite sure how to reply. Without a doubt you were cute to Jaehyun and he wouldn’t be opposed for things to happen between the two of you, but he doesn’t even know you! Well, not that it’s been a problem for Jaehyun in the past, but your lingering presence bothers him in ways he cannot communicate. Why is that the thought of you won’t leave him and why does it bother him so much?

Jaehyun decides to be straightforward, as straightforward as his muddled brain allows him to be. “She’s cute. I wanna get to know her.” 

“Okay, Jaehyun.” Johnny whoops obnoxiously. “I see you.” 

Mark is surprised and suddenly Johnny is all fired up again. Abruptly, Johnny shoots up and the determination that burns in his eyes is admirable. 

“I’ve got it!” He declares proudly. 

Jaehyun and Mark are quiet, waiting patiently for him to continue. They say nothing, knowing there is not a thing that can reach him when Johnny gets like this. 

“We’re throwing a party and you bet your ass your two girls are gonna be there.”

4. Heaven by Ailee

walking on Cloud 9. 

“When I hear your voice, it feels like I’m dreaming.”

You look up at the two-story house before you and wonder how you got here. Actually, you don’t wonder at all because you know exactly how you ended up at the steps of the local performing arts fraternity at your college, but you sigh regardless, as if someone had weaseled you into being here. Your nerves gnaw at you and you feel your stomach doing all types of aerobic tricks, the feeling reminiscent of the sensation before the roller coaster drops. 

Yeri grabs your hand and pulls you excitedly to the front door. You can feel the thrum of music emanating from the building.  

You recall how Yeri almost jumped you to tell the good news. 

Finals flew by without any major hitches, ignoring sleepless nights and caffeine crashes. You don’t know how you’ll do, but you’re satisfied with your exam performances. You were in the clear and were just waiting for Yeri to present her joint music theory project before the both of you could finally let loose as a celebration to end the school year. 

You waited for her outside of the classroom building as promised, playing with your phone to past time until you were suddenly engulfed by a delighted pair of arms. Yeri hugged you tight; she was in high spirits, seemingly from acing her presentation and you hugged her back in congratulations. She pulled at you closer and whispered in your ears, “just say yes.” 

You were confused, but looked up to see Mark headed toward the two you. Yeri released you, leaving one arm still slung casually over your shoulder.

“Hey guys. My frat’s throwing a party tonight to celebrate finishing exams. I was wondering if, uh, you guys wanted to come? I mean you don’t have to, it’s totally optional.” 

You didn’t say anything at first and Yeri interjected, “Of course!” She smiled at you innocently despite harshly pinching you to respond, her action hidden from Mark’s sight. “We’d love to, right?”

“Uh,” you answered distractedly. “Y-yeah, sure.” 

“Great.” Mark beamed. “Party starts at eight. I gotta go help set up, so I’ll see ya there!” 

And with that, he left as soon as he arrived and you looked at Yeri questioningly for answers. “I thought we were hitting downtown tonight. What happened to club hopping?” 

Yeri smiled devilishly, “change of plans. I’ll tell you more about it later. The most important thing is finding the perfect outfit for you tonight, cause Jaehyun’s gonna be there.” 

And so, here you find yourself dressed in high-waisted shorts and a cute top that took an embarrassingly long time to decide on. You are greeted by the fraternity president at the door of the house, Taeyong you think his name is, and he gives you two a quick verbal tour of the place, really emphasizing where to get drinks. Yeri thanks him for the both of you and you enter the crowded house. You think at least half of the performing art majors must’ve been here judging by the sheer volume of packed bodies. 

You remember Yeri explaining how she and Mark may have been making a breakthrough and this party was imperative for its success. You were completely okay attending for that reason alone, because after all, what kind of person sends her best friend to a frat party alone? However, your resolve to go was set in stone after she explained that the frat that was throwing the party just happened to be the same frat Jaehyun was a member of. 

“And y’know, seeing as how you’ve been obsessing over him the past few weeks, it’s the perfect opportunity.” 

You frown remembering her words and make your way to the kitchen with Yeri in tow. Various beverages, alcoholic and non-alcoholic, crowd the table and you recognize the guy standing nearby idly chatting with others. It’s Jaemin, an acting major in your history lecture with whom you frequently exchange notes with when either one of you decides to flake for the day. You vaguely recall him mentioning his fraternity association, but didn’t realize it happened to be this one. He sees the two of you approaching the drink table and he smiles widely.

“Oh hey, what’s up?” Jaemin greets casually. “Didn’t expect to see you here. How’d you think you did in the history final?” 

You groan. “I don’t even want to talk about it. What’s important is that we’re finished and I won’t ever have to think about the WWII timeline for, hopefully, forever.”

“Amen,” Jaemin laughs. “I’ll drink to that.” He raises up his red solo cup to cheers, before realizing both you and Yeri had nothing to drink. 

“Oh shit, I’m a pretty bad host, huh? First thing I should've done was get you two something to drink.” He chides himself, but his tone is playful. “What can I get for you, ladies?”

Before you can think about what you want, Yeri cuts you off, her tone matching Jaemin’s. “How about some shots to start off and we’ll forgive the lack of hospitality.”

Jaemin laughs again. “Alright, I like it.” His hands are adept at weaving around the table and finding the paper shot cups and the vodka. “Svedka’s okay, right?” 

“We’re not picky.” You and Yeri agree. You take the shot in one gulp and the unpleasant burning in your throat makes you wince. 

“Can I get you two anything else?” 

“Yeah,” you say. “I think another shot and then a mixed drink. Anything’s fine, but preferably on the stronger side.” You look over at Yeri and she nods in agreement.

“Coming right up.” Jaemin agrees easily. 

He pours the two of you another shot and you think he must be a generous guy because the shot is overflowing. You and Yeri cheer once more while Jaemin gets to work mixing a cherry bourbon with some Coke. He tops off the drinks with some ice before handing it over to the both of you. “Here they are. Enjoy, ladies.”

You thank him and take a sip before excusing yourself to make your way around the party. The drink is sweet and the smoky aftertaste of the bourbon gives it a pleasant edge. You and Yeri are attached to the hip as you drift from one part to another around the party, making easy going small talk along the way. You are sufficiently buzzed by this point and feel much lighter as though the party was somehow two degrees removed from your senses. You look over to check on Yeri and she’s noticeably drunker than you are, giggling about the simplest of things and slurring her words just the slightest bit. You make a mental note to ease the drinking, wanting to be sober enough to look after her in case anything were to arise. 

The two of you are at the base of the stairs when you hear Mark’s voice calling Yeri’s name. You turn your attention upward to see him ambling down the stairs with excited fervor. His cheeks are flushed, more so than usual around Yeri, and you can tell it’s due to alcohol because Mark is holding her hands and you know he can never be so bold without the help of liquid courage. 

“Yo Mark, slow down there.” A voice calls out and you look up again and you feel your breath caught in your throat. 

There in front of your eyes is Jung Jaehyun in the flesh. He looks heavenly dressed in simple jeans and a white tee. You unconsciously swallow the lump in your throat and your heart beat gallops a mile a minute in your chest. Your mouth goes dry and you mindlessly gulp down swigs of your drink. You know Yeri would’ve sniggered at your current state had she not been so tipsy and completely preoccupied with Mark. 

Jaehyun catches up to Mark and when he reaches the base of the stairs, he notices the two of you.

“Oh Jaehyun, lemme introduce you guys.” 

As promised, Mark introduces everyone quickly and Jaehyun shoots a smile that seems to be aimed at you. “Nice to meet everyone.” 

“Cool, now that everyone knows each other,” Mark starts. “Yeri, can I show you something?” 

“Uh, y-yeah.” 

You give Yeri a hard look and she takes your hand to squeeze it in reassurance. She looks at you pleadingly and there’s a confidence in her eyes that you can’t argue with. You relent and let her go. 

Mark takes her by the hand and leads her up the stairs while you watch, slightly worried. 

Jaehyun seems to have sensed your apprehension because the words that leave his mouth snaps you out of your perturbed state. “Don’t worry. Mark’s a good kid, you have nothing to worry about. You have my word on it.” 

And suddenly the situation dawns on you. The boy of your recent all-consuming infatuation stands here before you, and it’s just the two of you alone. Any social skills you have, leave you and you’re unsure of what to do. 

Jaehyun notices the awkward tension in the air and works quickly to dispel it. “Your drink’s looking low. Can I get you something else?” 

You look down to your drink to see that he was right. Only a few sips remain. You didn’t realize you had drank so much at the sight of Jaehyun. 

“Um, some water would be good. I don’t want to be too hungover tomorrow.” You answer shyly. You also need to be sober enough to look after Yeri, but you decide to leave that out.

Jaehyun chuckles, “sure thing. Here, come with me. I’ll get you some water.”

Jaehyun leads you to the kitchen with ease, seamlessly weaving through the crowds of people. Every group of people he passes greets him loudly to be heard of the pounding bass of the music. You are not surprised to see how popular he is. 

Once in the kitchen, he grabs you a bottle of water and a beer for himself from the fridge and you thank him. The cold water is refreshing, but it does little to cool your nerves. The awkward tension is high and still ever present. You feel as though you’re drowning in it and you also feel like running away from here despite this being what you’ve wanted for more than anything for weeks on end. 

“So,” Jaehyun starts, clearing his throat. “Mark told me you’re a CWP major?” 

“Uh, y-yeah, actually.” You hate how you’re so flustered around him. “How’d he know? Did Yeri tell him or something?” 

“He said you guys shared an arranging class last semester.” Jaehyun recalls.

“Wait, really? I had no idea.” You start going off on how you could’ve missed such a thing and Jaehyun smiles. You’re much more comfortable when a rhythm has been established and the words flow out of you easily. You’re not as relaxed as where Jaehyun wants you to be, but he thinks it’s a good start. 

You continue with small talk from there, much less uptight than before and you feel glad. Jaehyun is as radiant in person as he is in your imagination. You find him to be very kind and your heart flutters even more. Jaehyun mentions he’s a musical theatre major and you do your best to act surprised despite it being one of the only things you know about him prior to this moment.

Before he gets a chance to tell you more about himself, a tall boy with long limbs calls out to Jaehyun that it’s his turn to join the next game of beer pong. Jaehyun looks reluctant to leave and you don’t want him to leave either, but you’d hate to hold him back from prior engagements. 

“Would you,” Jaehyun licks his lips in consideration, “like to play with me? I don’t have a partner.” 

You nod your head and readily agree, eager to spend more time with him.

You’ve only played beer pong a handful of times and being around Jaehyun makes you nervous, so you miss the first few shots. You feel embarrassed, but Jaehyun is patient and assures you that it’s no problem at all. His little words of encouragement mixed with the beer you drink helps melt your tension, and halfway through the game, you’re whooping and hollering with everyone watching the game. 

You high-five Jaehyun without a second thought after nailing a perfect shot and Jaehyun smiles even wider. The two of you are leading when Taeyong comes in to kick everyone out. 

“Sorry guys, party’s over.” 

Groans of complaints could be heard throughout the crowd, but Taeyong’s words are firm and he ushers everyone to leave. He has a few other frat members behind him helping out. He reaches the beer pong table and pulls Jaehyun aside. After a few exchanged words, Jaehyun nods in agreement and ends the game completely, apologizing to his opponents. 

You’re confused, so you carefully ask Jaehyun what’s going on. He sees you and his gaze softens, he quietly explains, “apparently, the campus police have received multiple noise complaints and since the fraternity already has a strike, Taeyong doesn’t really want to risk another. “

“Ah, I see.” You nod. You’re saddened by the turn of events, having finally eased into a relative comfort around Jaehyun and you yearn for more. “Well, I better go look for Yeri then.” 

This is a goodbye and you’re unsure of what else to say to him, your disappointment mixes with alcohol making you feel even more miserable. You want to ask for more, but can’t find the words to reach him. Luckily, Jaehyun does it for you. 

“Are you free sometime this week?” He asks. “I feel like we didn’t get a chance to really talk and I’d like to.” 

Your heart hammers and the blood rushes in your ears, but you still find yourself uttering a mousy agreement.

“Great,” his smile is dazzling and you feel dizzy. “It’s a date then.”

5. 24 Hours by Sunmi

rushed minutes. 

“Time goes by so quickly.”

“Hey,” a distant voice calls out and Jaehyun looks up from his phone to see your approaching figure. Your cheeks are rosy from the summer sun and stray pieces of your hair escape from your loosely styled updo. Jaehyun takes all of you in with careful appreciation.

“Hey yourself.” Jaehyun chuckles, slipping his phone casually in his pocket and standing up straighter to greet you properly.

Jaehyun sees the red of your face flush brighter, the soft color bleeding across your cheeks and onto your nose. Cute, he thinks. He watches as you tighten your grip on your clutch, knuckles white with nervous tension, in an attempt to gather your composure and calm your nerves. You clear your throat, “I didn’t know you’d be here so soon. You should’ve texted me.” 

“It’s all good, I finished early.” Jaehyun notices you no longer stutter around him like the first night you two met. He’s glad the days and nights of sober texting after exchanging numbers at the party did wonders to make you feel comfortable around him. He’s not too worried about your current ‘first-date’ anxiety, knowing it’ll be dispelled soon enough. “Shall we?” He moves to open the door and the cool rush of air from the cafe greets the two of you. 

The cafe is quaint and cozy, tucked away in a small corner of intersecting back streets and crowded buildings. Jaehyun discovered the little spot not too long ago and something, Jaehyun assumes his instincts, compelled him to take you to it for the first official date. It just felt right.

The two of you walk to the order counter and you take it all in. You can hear the quiet chatter of the cafe occupants mixed with the rattle of espresso machines being put to work. Your eyes scan over the decorations and several potted succulents hanging from the ceiling. It’s incredibly homey and you feel at ease. 

“Hiya, I can help the two of you whenever you guys are ready.” The barista is cheerful to a fault and Jaehyun watches you shoot her a grateful smile before your eyes move to the menu to decide on what to get. 

Jaehyun knows what he wants, so he waits patiently for you to decide, but seeing your eyebrows scrunch together in indecision, Jaehyun chuckles to himself. “I hear the iced lattes here are really good, particularly the caramel latte,” he offers. 

You perk up in surprise, but you recover quickly, “okay, that sounds good then. I was between that and the iced cocoa.”

“No problem, I’ll order then. Today’s on me.” Jaehyun says. 

Jaehyun walks up to the barista and quickly places the order. He reaches for his wallet after the barista recites the order, but he falters slightly when he sees your gaze glued to the cake display, particularly the crepe cake. 

“Can I get a slice of the chocolate crepe cake over there too?” 

“Of course! Here’s your new total,” she turns the touch screen display over to Jaehyun and he readily inserts his card to pay. When finished, Jaehyun turns back the screen and after a few taps from the barista, a receipt is printed and she hands him a buzzer. 

“Your order will be out shortly.” She informs him.

Jaehyun smiles and says a small ‘thank you’ in return before turning his attention to you. You look up to meet his eyes and you smile, “can we sit over there by the window?” 

You head to the little corner table first with Jaehyun steadily in tow. You sit at the chair that leaves your back to the window and Jaehyun is mesmerized by how the afternoon sunlight refracts through your silhouette. You’re glowing and Jaehyun swallows thickly. 

“So,” he starts. “What have you been up to?”

“Celebrating finishing my first year of college in one piece.” You laugh lightly. “I got by with passable grades, but other than that Yeri and I just finished moving into our new dorms. We’re no longer freshmen, so first year dorms are off limits. I’m gonna miss the convenient location.” You jokingly mope. 

Jaehyun laughs easily with you and before he gets a chance to reply, the buzzer goes off so he excuses himself to go pick up the order. 

A different barista places down a tray with your two drinks and a small slice of cheesecake with two dessert forks resting on some napkins. “Enjoy your order!” 

Jaehyun smiles in thanks and picks up the tray to bring it back to the table. He can’t wait to see the look on your face when you see the mille crepe cake and true to his expectations, your eyes light up at the sight of dessert. 

“Surprise.” He says. “I saw you looking at it earlier.” 

Jaehyun watches as you immediately grab a small fork and try a piece of the cake with unrestricted child-like excitement. Your eyes light up at the taste of the delicate layers of fresh whipped cream and thin crepes and the smile you shoot in his direction has Jaehyun’s heart beating a little faster than he’s willing to admit. 

“Thank you!” You look up at him. “It’s so good, you should definitely try a bite too.” 

“Yeah? I’ll try some then.” Jaehyun sits down and leans even closer to you over the table, his mouth open and expectant and his eyes staring straight into yours. 

You try your best to bite back the scarlet fighting to stain your cheeks as you cinch off a small section of the cake with your fork. Your hand falters just the slightest bit when delivering the small confection to his awaiting mouth, but you push through and feed him despite the embarrassment you feel. 

Jaehyun chews slowly and deliberately, taking his time to lick the stray whipped cream from the corner of his mouth. You lose the game of chicken, breaking eye contact first. 

“Yeah,” he agrees. “It’s good. We should definitely come back.” 

You let out a little awkward cough, desperate to ward off your cloud of emotions. “Uhm, yeah sure.”

Jaehyun has always thought you were cute, but he thinks you’re especially cute today. 

“Anyway,” you start. You want to change the topic because you don’t think you can survive this tension without your brain frying. “I feel like I’ve just seen you around recently. I should’ve run into you a long time ago since the performing arts college is so small.” 

“Oh,” Jaehyun is a little taken aback. “I used to be over at the East Campus. I was a business and administration major for two years before I switched over to musical theatre.”

“Wait really?” Your surprise erases any tension you felt earlier. “I had no idea.”

“Yeah,” he laughs. “It doesn’t really come up in conversation.” 

“Why’d you switch over? If you don’t mind me asking.” 

Jaehyun contemplates his reply for a second as takes a sip of his coffee. “Well, when I entered college, I didn’t really know what I wanted, so I just followed whatever my parents wanted me to do. I actually knew I liked musical theatre for the longest time, but it took time for me to build up the courage to switch. My parents weren’t happy with it at first and we fought for the longest time, but I think they’ve warmed up to it enough by now. I’ve never really talked about this though, I just tell people I transferred from a different college and the conversation just ends there I guess, but it’s really no big deal.”

“Thank you for telling me this, Jaehyun.” Your voice is sincere and Jaehyun believes you.

“What about you, hm?” Jaehyun returns. “Why CWP?” 

“I don’t really have one point that changed my life and helped me find my calling or whatever,” you ponder with a tilt of the head and the taste of cream dissolving in your mouth. “But ever since I was little, I always knew I was gonna end up doing something in music. I was never good at singing though, so vocal performance was out the door and I wasn’t that interested in classical instruments either, so that helped me narrow stuff down. Actually, what really helped me decide was during orientation, my group leader was a contemporary writing and production major and she told me all about it and I’ve been sold ever since. I really like it though, and have no intention of switching.”

“That’s good. Sometimes I wish I switched earlier.” Jaehyun muses. “I feel so behind sometimes. Most people in my class have already been in at least one musical and an internship, except for me. I think about it a lot, but I try not to let it get me so down.” 

“You shouldn’t feel that way!” You try your best to cheer him up, and Jaehyun appreciates it a lot more than he thought he would. “Everyone has their own pace, that’s what college is all about! Nothing is ever wasted time. You can think of your time as a business admin major as a way to help you make up your mind on your true passion. You told me you’ve always liked musical theatre, but I’ve bet without the time in business, you would’ve never known you liked it enough to pursue a career out of it.”

Jaehyun laughs at your earnesty. He thinks you’re a touch naive, but your words make him feel light. “You’re right. I can say for sure I wasn’t happy as a business major.”

“See? Nothing is ever wasted time if you can discover your true happiness out of it.” 

The two of you exchange easy chatter after that and between small bites of cake and sips of coffee, Jaehyun thinks you’ve become prettier and prettier.

“What was it like?” You ask absentmindedly.

“Hm? What was ‘what’ like?”

“Being a business and administration major.”

Jaehyun has to think about it. He recalls constantly dressing up for group presentations and boring lectures, but his mind wanders to his activities outside the classroom. He remembers the constant partying and the blur of faces that helped him keep his bed warm. He remembers brief flings and relationships cut short. He doesn’t want to think about those things when he’s next to you. “Uhm. It was okay, nothing special, but that reminds me–”

“Yeah?”

“Are you free next weekend?”

“I should be. Why, what’s up?”

“Great,” Jaehyun smiles while taking the last sip of his coffee. “I’m having a housewarming party at my new apartment. You should definitely be there.” 

--

The day of the long awaited housewarming party rolls up sooner than expected between settling into your new dorm with Yeri and the occasional small ‘get-togethers’ with Jaehyun. They’re actually dates if you're being honest, but you don’t want to put a title on anything in case he wasn’t on the same page as you. Being with Jaehyun made you giddy in more ways than one, but that means the anxiety that pools at the base of your stomach grows larger each day when the relationship between the two of you goes unnamed. You feel greedy when you desperately grasp at the shred of time you share with him, always unwillingly to let go.

“Are you ready?” Yeri’s voice breaks you out of your small reverie. Her hand is poised, ready to knock on the black door of Jaehyun’s apartment, waiting for you to gather your composure. Yeri is dressed to the nines in a cute skirt with a top to match. She wants to look good for her new boyfriend and you teased her endlessly for it when the two of you were getting ready.

“Mark’s one lucky guy.”

“Shut up. Worry about yourself.”

“All I do is love you, yet you’re so mean to me.”

Regardless of her harsh words toward you, she helped you toss your closet inside and out for the perfect outfit to woo Jaehyun, even if it meant showing up late to the party. 

The two of you leave your dorm twenty minutes later than you intended and it also didn’t help that Jaehyun’s apartment was difficult to find, tucked away in a small building between towering skyscrapers, but now is finally the moment of truth. 

“Yeah, I’m ready as I’ll ever be,” you mutter as you watch Yeri knock on the door. 

It takes a minute before the door creaks open and Jaehyun’s head pops out. His smile is radiant and you’re absolutely ensnared by the way his fringe falls over his forehead. 

“Hey, glad you two could make it.” Jaehyun opens the door wider to allow you and Yeri to enter. He greets Yeri with polite warmth while he wraps an arm over your shoulders. When Yeri heads in the apartment first with her back against the two of you, Jaehyun steals a quick peck to your temple and whispers, “you look pretty tonight.”

His touch is fleeting and he pulls back quickly, as if you imagined the whole thing, but his cheeky smile tells you that it really did happen. Your heart hammers and you force yourself to focus on the steady thrum of mellow R&B that reverberates throughout his apartment to calm yourself. You take his apartment in steady strides with your full attention. It’s sleek and modern with a few pops of his personality here and there in the form of trinkets decoration choices. 

“Hey!” Johnny calls over from the couch. He has a beer in hand, but he’s far from tipsy. Flanked on one side is Doyoung with another beer to match and on the other is Sicheng. Seulgi, the girl, who you assume is Sicheng’s significant other, by the way his arm is casually wrapped around her waist, is also there and she nods at you in greeting. You've come to know about all of them after hanging out with Jaehyun so much. “Did you guys get lost or something?” 

“Yeah,” Yeri replies as she moves to sit next to Mark who’s on the adjacent loveseat and resting a drink on the coffee table.  “Something like that.”  

She places a sweet kiss to the corner of Mark’s mouth in greeting and you swear you can hear him crooning at the attention. 

“Doesn’t matter, Johnny. The important thing is that they’re here now.” Jaehyun interjects. “Do you guys want anything to drink?”

“That’d be nice.” You hum.

Yeri laughs in agreement, “yeah, the two of us could never say no to a drink.”

“Alright, I’m on it.” Jaehyun calls while moving to the kitchen. “Any preferences?”

“No,” you say. “Surprise us.”

Jaehyun works to mix drinks and you take a seat on the floor next to the coffee table to observe the party. Perched on the shelf of a slender bookcase in the corner of his living room is a bluetooth speaker playing music, the rhythm quiet and bass steady as everyone chatters away once introductions are made on the sofas. You remember him offhandedly mentioning that he doesn’t want any noise complaints on his first week in the new place and it makes sense. Jaehyun’s housewarming party is a quiet affair that is far different from the wild party at the frat house in which you met him, but you think this vibe fits Jaehyun more.

Jaehyun returns shortly with two drinks in tow for you and Yeri and sits himself snugly next to you on the floor. He picks his idle beer from the coffee table and once Johnny realizes that everyone in the proximity has a drink in hand, he raises his voice and beer in a toast. “It sucks that Taeyong couldn’t make it tonight, but here’s to having fun without him. We’re gonna get twice as fucked up to make up for his absence, cheers!”

Everyone lets out a chuckle, but obliges to humor him anyway and joins to connect their drink to his in cheers. 

You pull your cup back and take a big gulp of the drink. It’s sweet and carbonated, but the sting of alcohol at your throat leaves you wincing just the slightest bit.

A few pleasantries are exchanged here and there, but it’s only then does Doyoung pull out a deck of cards with a devilish glint in his eyes that deceive his looks. 

“Ring of fire, anyone?”

--

After who knows how many rounds of ring of fire (and maybe a few other drinking games here and there) with too many drink refills for you to remember, you somehow find yourself splayed on the couch and leaning over Yeri’s shoulder in support. Seulgi is on the other side of you leaning on you for support, the same way you’re doing to Yeri, but you don’t mind it one bit. The three of you have grown surprisingly close with one another throughout the night.

Your mind is lucid enough to still be conscious and completely aware of where you are and what you’re doing, but the alcohol in your system eats away at the details in your memory. 

You vaguely recall ridiculous punishments that involved Johnny twerking on the dining room table and Mark taking a shot of Jack Daniels mixed with ketchup, and you can’t help but snicker to yourself. 

“I think we should get going now.” Sicheng is the first to speak as he moves to help Seulgi up. “It’s getting late.”

Doyoung looks a little groggy, but when he checks the time, he perks up immediately, “oh shit, you’re right. I need to get going too, I’ve got something in the morning.”

With that everyone shuffles to clean the remnants of the party with as much grace as they can muster while intoxicated, which wasn’t much, but in twenty minutes, Jaehyun is already walking half the party to the door in goodbye. Only you, Mark, and Yeri are left. 

“Hey Yeri,” Mark calls softly to Yeri as he brushes a strand of hair from her face. “Are you ready to go too?”

Yeri is still sprawled on the couch with you, but mumbles a small response. “Yeah, I should be. Give me a second.”

She turns over to you and nudges you just the slightest bit. “I’m gonna go back to Mark’s tonight, are you gonna be okay?”

“Yeah,” you assure her. “I’ll be fine, just go have fun.”

“She’s free to rest here until she’s ready to leave, don’t worry. I’ll call a cab for her when the time comes.” Jaehyun pipes up. 

Yeri gives you a look, but you squeeze her hand one last time to give her some peace of mind. “I’m a big girl, Yeri. I’ll be okay, promise. I’ll walk you to the door, Mark’s waiting.”

You give Yeri a tight hug in goodbye and you find your way back to the couch. The fact that you’re all alone in Jaehyun’s apartment doesn’t hit because of the remnants of alcohol in your system melts away your nerves. 

You’re pleasantly buzzed, lost in your own thoughts when Jaehyun comes up to you with a glass of water in hand. “Here, so you don’t feel as bad tomorrow morning.”

You accept it gratefully and take in big gulps, the water refreshing, but your skin feels hot. 

Jaehyun takes a seat next to you and the proximity makes your head spin. You turn to look at him, and he flashes you a smile.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”

“You might’ve mentioned something.” You tease. “But I don’t mind hearing it again.”

“Well,” he hums. You’re not sure, but you think the distance between the two of you is decreasing. “You really do look stunning tonight.”

You flush at his words, but you look straight into his eyes. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

“Yeah? I try to impress.” Jaehyun’s eyes are hooded and your throat goes dry. “Can I kiss you?”

You say nothing at first, his words not registering into your muddled brain, but when you feel his breath ghost over your lips, you don’t hesitate to close the gap between you. 

His lips are slightly chapped and you can taste the vodka on his breath, but to you it’s perfect. Jaehyun’s perfect.

Jaehyun kisses you with reserved passion and practiced expertise. His tongue sets the rhythm against yours and his roaming hands have you feeling as if you’ve been set ablaze. He pulls back just the tiniest bit and the intense longing for his touch that hits you is indescribable. 

You pull him back in your arms and your lips reconnect in a desperate fervor. Jaehyun adjusts his arms around you and the next you know, you’re in his embrace and he’s carrying you to his bedroom. He places you down gently, his bed is plush and comforter soft. 

Jaehyun’s touch is gentle as he gathers your face in his hands. He kisses you again and you wrap your arm around his neck to pull him closer. He pulls back and looks at you earnestly. “I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with. We don’t have to do anything tonight.”

Everything’s moving so fast and you’re dizzy, but you don’t want whatever this is to stop. You want to be as close to Jaehyun as possible.

“No,” your voice is hoarse. “Don’t stop. I want you, Jaehyun.”

He kisses you again, this time unrestrained. His tongue is hot, but you can only savor it for a minute before he starts trailing kisses down your neck and tugging at your shirt. You let out a breathy moan in response to how his touches make you feel. 

Jaehyun reaches at your shorts and makes quick work at unbuttoning them. You help him remove the article of clothing and his slender fingers dart inside your panties. You’re slick to the touch and Jaehyun must be made of magic because you think you’re seeing stars. You unravel before him embarrassingly quick, but he kisses you at the base of your clavicle in sweet reassurance. 

Your chest is heaving, but you want more. You grab at Jaehyun’s shirt, urging him to take it off. The expanse of his abdomen is a sight to behold, but Jaehyun is cruel and doesn’t give you the time to take it in. He’s on top of you again, lips crashing onto yours once more. He reaches behind you to unclasp your bra and while he’s pre-occupied, you unbuckle his belt and steal a moment in his boxers. He feels thick and hot in your hands as you run your finger over the tip to feel a drop of pre-cum. He buckles just the slightest bit and it emboldens you. 

Jaehyun helps himself out of his jeans and you push him onto the bed wanting to be on top this time. He’s straining against his boxers and you want to help relieve the tension. When you pull off his boxers you can feel his inaudible groan. You stroke his length gingerly and look up to see him with hooded eyes look right back at you. 

This excites you so you take him in your mouth in a moment of unfiltered courage. Your tongue starts at the base before tracing your way up to his sensitive head. You tease him accordingly to his quiet grunts and groans and when you feel like he’s had enough, you take all of him in until his tip is hitting the back of your throat. You gag a bit, but push through.

“Fuck,” Jaehyun stutters out between stacatoed breaths. “Babe, you’re so good.”

You hum in pleasure at his praise and he grabs your hair. This goes on for a few more minutes before he reaches down to stop you. “Not that I don’t love this,” the look in your eyes nearly has him faltering his words, “but I don’t want to cum just yet.”

You relent with a slick pop and Jaehyun shifts over to rummage for a condom in his nightstand. You settle back down in his pillows. Jaehyun gives you a soft kiss on the lips before he enters you. 

“Tell me when it’s okay to move,” he whispers and you place a small kiss at the base of his neck. 

He starts off slow to let you acclimate to his size, but neither of you are very patient, so he ends up pounding into you a lot sooner than he anticipated and you find yourself getting caught up in the pleasure.

It feels like you’re dreaming, but if this was a dream, you never want to wake up.

6. Hush by Miss A

shh, no talking, just us.

“I can’t think straight.”

You and Jaehyun don’t become official until a few weeks later. 

He asks you one day when you’re naked and out of breath. You’ve gone one too many rounds with him and a thin layer of sweat coats your body as you lay on his heaving chest. You absentmindedly draw shapes on his skin and he gives you a chaste kiss to your temple.

“We should date.” He hums. “I think I’d make a good boyfriend.”

“Yeah?” You raise your eyebrow in teasing.

“Yeah,” he ascertains. “Give me a chance and I’ll show you.”  

“Hmm,” you pretend to think it over as if this wasn’t you’ve been hoping for since the first moment you laid eyes on him. “Okay. Let’s give it a try, boyfriend.”

Jaehyun laughs and you feel the world fall into its right place. “Alright, girlfriend.”

And the rest is history as they say. 

Jaehyun isn’t your first, but you experience many firsts with him. You’re not exactly inexperienced, but he really opens your eyes.

“Fuck,” he groans into your neck. His hands grip at your hips to help guide you along, but you’re fully in charge. “You’re doing so good, babe. Just like that.” 

You didn’t see yourself as someone who liked to take charge during sex, but after that one time Jaehyun asked you to top, you’ve never looked back since. 

You roll hips into him and at a pace you know drives Jaehyun wild and you pull him into a sloppy kiss. It’s all tongue and no grace, but you love it the same regardless. You capture his bottom lips between your teeth playfully before pushing him flat on his back until he’s firm against his plush mattress. You place a hand on his chest and the other on his thigh to balance yourself and Jaehyun immediately knows you’re close. 

A hand rests on your hip to steady you while the other snakes over to play with your clit to further stimulate you toward your climax. Jaehyun knows what you like and his timing is impeccable, so before you know it, both of you are reaching your highs together. You collapse on his chest and you allow yourself to stay in his warmth long enough to have your breaths synchronize before you extricate yourself from him to head to his bathroom. 

When you come back out, he’s disposed of the used condom and opens your arm wide for a hug, which you gladly indulge in.

Time stops when you’re in his arms.

--

On the surface, it looks like Jaehyun likes to mix it up. He seems like  an elusive guy with varied tastes, but the more time you spend with him, you realize he likes the control of seeing you unravel before him.

He likes the intimacy of missionary. 

The close proximity to your body has him looking into your eyes and leaving you feeling the most vulnerable of ways. He has full access to your neck, which he lovingly claims as his own and you chide him the next day when you see scattered purple blooms. Jaehyun changes his pace on a whim and you fall to his mercy. When he takes you fast and hard, you see stars, but when thrusts in you with languid leisure, he has you begging for more. 

He likes the intensity of taking from behind. 

When you’re on your knees with your ass in the air, he takes it as a guarantee to fuck you senseless. Your muffled moans makes his dick twitch and you swear you can feel him fuck into you even faster. Jaehyun always makes sure to wrap his arms around you to finger your clit until you go into sensory overload and he doesn’t stop pounding into you until there are tears in your eyes. He kisses each one away before taking your lips in his and you can taste the salt water on his tongue.

He likes the dominance from eating you out.

He laps at your core like a starved man and makes good use of his adept fingers until your head is spinning. Jaehyun makes it a habit to eat you out until you’re satisfied before he gets his turn. When your thighs are on either side of his head and your hands tangled in his hair, he swears he can stay there forever.

Above all, Jaehyun just likes you. He likes being with you and he definitely likes fucking you and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

--

“Mmmh,” you breathe out.

Your back is flush against Jaehyun’s back as you rock your hips back and forth on his dick. You grind your ass back even harder when he pinches your nipple between his fingers. 

He kisses your shoulder blade from behind and bucks his hip upward to meet you in the middle. 

The afternoon sunlight is streaming in from the gaps of his blinds and you want to take it nice and slow today. The television in front of you is playing a movie, but you’re too enraptured by the feeling of him filling you to the brim to pay it any mind. 

“I love it when you’re on top, babe.” he hums as he plays with your clit. 

You let out another breathy groan before you can find the composure to bite back at him. “What happened to no sex today, hmm? I thought we were just going to have innocent quality time together and watch a movie.”

Jaehyun must’ve not liked your sass, so he bucks up harder. He’s telling you to pick up the pace and you oblige. Before you know, you’re practically bouncing on his dick and you can feel your impending high about to crash down on you. He can sense it too and maintains his tempo. When you cum, Jaehyun rides on the tail of your climax in pursuit of his own. He cums shortly after with stuttering hips and a bite on your shoulder. He gathers you in his arms and runs his tongue soothingly over where he bit you and the various love bites that he’s littered on the expanse of your skin. 

“Just being with you is quality time in itself.” He says. “Besides, class is starting soon, so I won’t get to see you as much.”

7. Disturbance by BoA

a ripple on the surface.

“I didn’t know at first.”

“So I do have a roommate after all,” Yeri’s voice calls out and you turn over to see her standing by the doorway. You roll your eyes at her, but quickly turn back to gather your things. 

She lets out a chuckle, but you don’t miss the sour edge to her tone. “I thought I got a single dorm since it’s so empty all the time.”

“You say that, Yeri,” you retort. “But I know you’re over at Mark’s constantly so I don’t wanna hear it from you.”

“Yeah, but I make time to come back here and I always let you know when I’m going out. I feel like I’ve only seen you maybe once or twice the past few months. I feel like the only reason I see you these days is ‘cause of classes.”

“You’re just exaggerating, don’t be so dramatic. Come on, let’s go. I don’t want to be late.”

She looks displeased, but nothing leaves her lips as the two of you head out for the day.

--

It’s late. 

When night falls, shadows come out to play and your college campus is riddled with them. The school auditorium is situated in the far corner of the campus and the lamp lights of the main walkways do little, but you pay it little mind. Jaehyun should be getting out soon.

It takes another ten minutes to see him emerge from the double doors and you perk up immediately at the sight of him. He looks a little shocked to see you, but greets you with a warm hug and small peck regardless. 

“Hey,” his voice is small, almost reserved. “What are you doing here? I thought I told you I was finishing late tonight.”

“Oh, you did, but I still wanted to see you.” You explain, eyes bright and tone undeterred.

“Not that I don’t appreciate it,” he licks his lip. “But it’s really late and I still have more stuff I need to work on. I’ll see you some other time, okay?”

“Oh, okay.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry, babe. Next time.”

--

“Oh hey,” you smile, but Yeri’s fury is palpable and cuts through you.

“Don’t ‘oh hey’ me.” She spits out. “Where have you been? Why didn’t you answer your phone?”

Sheepish, you reply, “oh sorry. I forgot to fully charge it before leaving and Jaehyun and I have different phones, so I couldn’t charge it at his place.”

“You were at Jaehyun’s?” Yeri is glaring at you at this point and you feel a bit peeved. 

“Yeah. What of it?” 

Yeri’s been getting angry at you recently, losing her temper at the drop of a hat, and you can’t seem to pinpoint why. You’re getting tired of being her punching bag. 

“We made plans to go shop for Seulgi’s gift today. You promised you’d be there, don’t you remember?”

“Oh shit.” It completely slips from your mind and you open your mouth to apologize, but Yeri cuts you off before you get the chance.

“Forget it. I don’t want to hear it. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Yeri turns to leave before you can say anything back.

8. Symptoms by SHINee

something’s wrong.

“The worse it gets, the more exhausted I get.”

Jaehyun feels off.

He can’t pinpoint exactly what he is that he’s feeling, but he thinks it’s reminiscent of his world being tilted by six degrees. It’s not immediately jarring and takes little time for his eyes to register, but he’ll occasionally bump his toe, signalling that this isn’t right. Things aren’t where they’re supposed to be. His head spins just the slightest bit and he feels woozy, but he doesn’t know why.

Jaehyun just feels off.

--

Jaehyun checks the bulletin board of his school auditorium almost religiously. 

Each time before and after class, he’ll swing by and peruse the flyers that hang from haphazardly stuck on pins. He ignores the tutoring offers and the part time jobs scams, his main focus is almost always on the center of the board where they post the upcoming musical theatre production and eventually, the cast list. 

This semester, the chosen production is La La Land and Jaehyun has been dead set on landing the role of Sebastian Wilder. He stays back extra late each day to practice the script and to work on his singing and annunciation. 

On the day of the audition, he’s sure he’s nailed it and thinks to himself the world must be ending if he weren’t to get the leading role. 

When he leaves the auditorium in a rush, excitement flows through his veins and he drinks in the night air as a toast of victory. He’s tipsy on his excitement and wants to laugh out loud, but in the corner of his vision, he sees you. Your eyes light up the sight up, outshining the moon and the stars, but your visage does not elicit the reaction he thinks it should. He expects his heart to swell and burst, but somehow he feels heavy. 

He pulls you in for a hug and a quick kiss to quell his weighted heart, but he thinks he’s starting to sink so he calls you off for the night. He’ll see you next time. 

Yeah, next time will be better.

--

You’re snuggled up close and personal on Jaehyun’s chest. Jaehyun notices you fill every nook and cranny of his being perfectly to a tee, and yet that feeling. It’s there again. 

Jaehyun feels off. 

You laugh at something one of the characters say and you cuddle harder into him. He feels heavy again and it makes his throat itch, so he swoops down and captures your lips.

It’s hard and fast to scrub away at his uneasiness and before he knows it, his clothes are missing, but so are yours. The foreplay is brief and almost impersonal, but he doesn’t care. He just needs to be inside you. 

When Jaehyun has you begging and writhing, he feels like the world is where it should be. No longer is he living at a slight angle when he’s buried to the hilt inside your warmth, so when he sees you, he does what he can to get you out of your pants. 

Today is no different from any other. 

After a satisfying session you roll on his chest. Your kiss is soft and sweet despite the sweat that covers both of your bodies. He hums quietly as he taps melodies on along your exposed spine.

“Jaehyun?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I love you.”

Ah. Jaehyun thinks he’s getting it now, why he’s feeling off.

Jaehyun thinks he’s being suffocated.

--

To the surprise of no one, and especially not to him, Jaehyun gets the leading role of Sebastian Wilder in La La Land. He was a shoe-in for it anyway and he made sure to put in the work to get it. 

His leading lady is someone by the name of Park Sooyoung, but at the first rehearsal she introduces herself as Joy.

“It’s nice to meet you.” She offers her hand out in a friendly greeting. “Here’s to a successful show together, Jaehyun.”

Her smile is blinding and he thinks Joy is a fitting name. He grasps her outstretched hand, grip firm and sure. 

“Yeah,” he smiles back. “Here’s to a good show together.”

--

Rehearsals span over blurred minutes and long hours. 

Jaehyun sees less and less of you and spends more and more time with her. 

During a quick water break, he scans his phone briefly to see a text notification from you. He takes another swig of water and returns to the rehearsal.

It’s okay, he can always text you back later.

9. Before U Go - TVXQ!

letting go.

“I will leave now.”

“Come on!” You tug both Mark and Yeri along excitedly. “I want to get good seats.”

Yeri rolls her eyes, but obliges anyway, pulling Mark along. It’s opening night for Jaehyun’s big musical and you wanted to be there no matter what to support him. Johnny, Doyoung, Taeyong, Sicheng, and Seulgi are already inside waiting and you’re not sure if they were able to save the three of you a spot. 

After a long chat with Yeri, you apologized profusely to her. You did get blinded by your relationship with him and prioritized him over everything, forgetting your friends and other responsibilities in the process. Yeri forgave you easily and helped keep you in line when you went to head over heels for Jaehyun. 

However, after patching things up with Yeri, you begin to notice a shift in your relationship with Jaehyun’s. You’re not quite sure how to describe it, but it almost feels like a distance almost. 

You chalk it up to his busy rehearsal schedule and choose not to dwell on the topic, in fears of your wandering imagination. It should be fine. After his musical is over, he’ll be less busy and things will fall back into place. 

Right?

“Over here!” Seulgi waves over excitedly. 

The auditorium is starting to fill up and you want to get comfortable before the show starts. 

Everyone greets each other in hushed tones and soon enough, the show starts. 

Right. Everything will be fine.

--

Jaehyun does amazing. 

Your eyes are trained on him the whole time and his singing has goosebumps pricking your skin. You can see the passion pour through him every time he’s on stage and you couldn’t be more proud. 

A nagging feeling at the pit of your stomach points out the undeniable chemistry between him and his co-star, but you push it deep down and suppress it. 

They’re actors, and they’re good at what they do. 

Yeah. They’re just acting. Yeah. Acting.

--

When the curtains close, you’re the first to shoot out of your seat, eager to meet him backstage. You weave through the endless crowd of people, murmuring your ‘sorry’s’ and ‘excuse me’s’ as you pass by. You reach the base of the backstage and shoot a message to let him know you’re waiting. You hum to yourself when you happen to overhear a conversation playing out. 

“You did so good, Jae.” 

“No, you definitely carried the show.” 

You turn up and you see them. Her eyes are almost soft and loving as she pulls your boyfriend in for a hug. They linger in the embrace longer than necessary and you clear your throat to catch his attention. 

He jolts just the slightest bit when he sees you and immediately lets her go. 

“Everyone’s waiting,” you say quietly. 

“Okay,” he nods. “Let me go get my stuff in the back.”

Jaehyun leaves the two of you alone and you wait for him to get back. 

When you leave, he waves goodbye to her and she smiles back.

--

Jaehyun’s celebration party is rowdy, but it’s to be expected when Johnny is the one hosting. 

He books a table at the local club and even orders bottle service. The eight of you work your way through two whole bottles of tequila and are already on your third. Jaehyun is downing the shots at a quicker pace than usual and you’re a bit concerned, but you’re unable to say anything because when you try, he whisks himself away to the dance floor and strikes up a conversation with someone else. 

You’re perturbed, but you say nothing. This is his celebration night and he can choose to enjoy it how he wishes. 

By the end of the night, Jaehyun is noticeably drunk and you haul him outside to get a breath of fresh air in hopes of sobering up. He’s heavy, but you make it out the side door. You prop him up on your side as you lean on the grimy brick walls. 

Months have passed and the weather is chilly. 

Jaehyun’s body sways and he murmurs something in your ear. You don’t catch it the first time, the overwhelming smell of tequila overtaking your senses. 

“What was that?”

He grumbles beneath his breath, steps staggering once more. He tries again, this time his words are crisp and clear and they cut into you in more ways than one. 

“I think we should end it.”

For someone so drunk, he sounds so sober.

You’re at a loss for words. A part of you knew this was coming from his lack of enthusiasm around you and his decreased texts. Even the cold night air couldn’t keep your heartbreak at bay. You say nothing, but you understand the both of you knew it was a silent agreement.

You breathe out wisps of chilled air as Jaehyun’s inebriated body stays slumped over on your side. 

--

You volunteer to take Jaehyun home.

You tuck him gently in bed making sure to prop him on his side in case he vomits during the night. You pour a glass of water and place an ibuprofen on his nightstand drawer for him in the morning. 

You kiss him on the forehead one last time. You hope it conveys all of the things brewing in your heart at the moment, but you know it doesn’t. 

Later, you leave his apartment with all of your belongings that you ever left there with the stars as your witness. 

You never return to his place again.

10. Coffee Shop by B.A.P

what could’ve been.

“So without knowing, like a habit, I came here.”

Jaehyun wakes up to an empty bed.

Morning sunlight streams through his blinds and burns at his skin as a sign to get ready for the day. He blinks the drowsiness from his system and stretches his weary joints before heading to the bathroom to get ready for the day. 

On his rare day offs, he allows his body to go on auto-pilot. He completely shuts his brain off and allows it to do whatever it chooses.

Today, it takes him back to the cafe. 

His body knows where it’s going before it registers in his mind. 

The barista manning the order counter is different, but the decorations are the same, still the same succulents hanging from the ceilings. He mulls over the menu and goes up to order.

“Can I get an iced caramel latte?” Jaehyun doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth, but he’s feeling nostalgic today. 

“Of course! Here’s your total.” 

He pays with a swipe of his card and the barista goes to work making his drink. He waits around by the counter and soon enough, his drink is ready. That particular table is empty, so he grabs a chair to sit. His first sip is overly saccharine, but he appreciates how the flavor mellows out by the end of it. 

It’s been nearly a year since that night. 

Jaehyun remembers waking up to a splitting headache and a dry mouth. He thought nothing of the prepared setup as he gulps the ibuprofen and the glass of water in one go. Nothing seemed amiss really until a few days later. 

No one mentioned your name around him and he caught Seulgi giving him a look every now and then. Mark didn’t say much either, but Jaehyun felt him drifting away.

He thought he’d feel a lot more, but he didn’t. One day you were a part of his life and then the next day you weren’t. It really was that simple.

He kept in contact with Joy even after La La Land was over and maybe they were something more, but it didn’t last longer than a few weeks. 

It didn’t feel right when he was with her. Again, something felt off, but a different kind of off.

Joy was the one to end things with him, but he didn’t mind too much. 

He filled his days with study and practice and it wasn’t until he landed a job at his local theatre company that he realized.

It was you. It was always you and perhaps it still is you. 

Maybe you were different. Maybe you were the one, but Jaehyun didn’t try.

He recalls feeling smothered. You were always there at the beginning, but he took that for granted. 

There are a lot of things he regrets, but above all, he regrets not talking with you. He regrets not trying to work on it. He regrets being a coward and running away at the first signs of true emotions. 

You weren’t perfect, but neither was he, but he should’ve stayed so the both of you could work it out together. Jaehyun always did take too long to find the courage to pursue what he wanted.

With a final sip, he finishes the drink and moves to throw it away. Then, he sees you. Here, in the flesh, in almost a year. 

Your hair is longer, but your cheeks are still as rosy as ever. You walk up to order and Jaehyun thinks it’s a sign. He moves to greet you, but the doors open again and in walk Yeri and Seulgi. He watches you greet them warmly with wide open arms. 

You always did give the best hugs.

Jaehyun watches the three of you chatter away and he feels acutely out of place in the little cafe. You look happy and he should move on. 

He throws his finished cup in the trash can and moves to exit through the side door, but he moves too slowly.

“Jaehyun, is that you?” You call out. He looks into your steady gaze and almost feels shy. 

“Yeah,” he’s quiet. “It’s been awhile.”

“It has,” you agree. “You look well.”

The smile you give him has him believing in second chances and maybe he’ll get it right this time.

Note: i am so sorry that the second part is a hot mess express smh… there were a lot of things i planned and intended that didn’t happen, but i’ll just take this as a learning experience and write and better story next time. thanks for taking the time to read this !! <3

masterlist.

[chidoroki]

TPN ch181

(spoilers! AAAHHhhaha..my children!)

Okay, so remember in my last review when I said I was impressed how Ray, Gilda and Phil managed to narrow down where Emma might be in the matter of a couple months? Well, I take it back because it hasnt been just a few months, it's been two damn years! Oh my god, I can't imagine how hard it must've been for everyone, especially our two boys, to search for so long without even getting on single clue about Emma's whereabouts. Some of the children still doubt whether she's alive or actually in this world with them or not.

(image limit, so imagine the panels of the Goldy Pond kids discussing the lack of clues and Thoma and Lani doubting the reward again)

Thankfully, Gilda gets the idea to search in forbidden zones which is where we see her, Ray and Phil. Speaking of which, oh my poor boy. This is the longest Ray has been without Emma by his side. I thought the one month after Goldy Pond was hard enough on him, but two whole years? Damn, I can't imagine the stress and anxiety he's been experiencing. He's still so frustrated too and gets so close to Emma without even realizing it. Then, surprisingly, his beloved family steps in to help? The people he personally couldn't save now come together to help him save the one person who originally saved his life. Like, hello?? I love this! Conny, who was another sibling he had to use in order to put his initial escape plan in motion to save Emma and Norman's lives, is now assisting him in saving Emma from being alone. Yuugo, who knows firsthand how important Emma is to Ray and how close they are. Isabella, knowing her son kept his promise as he's always set out to do whatever it takes to protect his entire family. The fact that Ray's lost family members can feel how strong his bond with Emma is and they jump in to help reconnect the two of them again.. just, wow. It may be all the rayemma week feels getting to me but that's like a damn soulmate occurrence if i ever saw one!

The two unknowingly pass each other again but thanks to Emma conveniently losing her necklace and finding it with perfect timing, they all finally encounter each other. Everyone expresses their complete shock and relief that they had finally found Emma, and while I am happy they their search ended up a success, the mood changes fairly quickly due to our girls lost memories. She hasnt the slightest idea who "Emma" is, who these people are or why they're so excited to see her. The kids wonder if they have the right girl, as they take notice of Emma's bare neck.

One look at the necklace in her hand though and Ray finally puts the pieces together. Honestly, I'm not at all surprised he's the one to figure out the true reward, as Ray has been very perceptive since the beginning. He's also always been openly honest and blunt when things get serious, so naturally he's the one who has to let everyone know this because while it's a sad truth no one wants to hear, or even believe, they all need to realize it, including Emma. Even Ray has trouble coming to terms with the sacrifice Emma made. He understands how hard it must have been for Emma to accept the heavy price of her forgetting the family she loves so deeply and he looks so broken when he realizes that. He must be feeling so guilty that he couldn't have been there with her when she made the new promise. He still puts the blame on himself and he's so upset that his failure lead Emma to live in a world alone without the family she cares for more than anything.

I wasn't too satisfied last chapter when demon god told us the real reward and Emma's response was a simple "okay," so I'm grateful we learned more about the conversation now in this chapter. She really did want to live her family. She even knew some of them might get mad at her for keeping a secret. She says it's a selfish request, for her to place such a heavy burden on herself, but what mattered to her back then upon accepting the reward is what has always mattered to her, and that's her family's happiness and safety. It wasn't just her loved one either, but for all the demons and cattle children. This girl truly has a heart of gold and demon god himself is left surprised. Of course I wish she didn't think she was being selfish since everyone did agree to follow her as their leader but aahh.. my poor girl.

Spoiling the very end now, but we dont get one last fullscore trio hug. Of course that upsets me since I thought it would've made such a perfect ending, but it makes sense now given how everyone's reunion with Emma happened. While their happiness and relief is completely understandable after searching two years and finally finding Emma, they overreact and this visibly freaks her out. Come on guys, last time I said to gently remind her of her past, not bombard her right away. Having a ton of strangers surround you and tell you such outlandish things is quite jarring. I'm glad she takes the chance to listen to everyone, but she just doesnt know these people well enough to suddenly hug them. I imagined a hug would've happened upon her recalling some of her memories somehow and feeling relived that she met the two boys she often once dreamt about, but oh well.

Norman takes this time to step in and ease some of the tension, saying how happy he is that Emma's alive and even reiterating some of the things he said to her during his shipment scene. While this chapter soon shows how well the escapees have adapted to the human world and changed, it also puts an emphasis on the boy's true personalities that they showed since the very beginning. I've already mentioned above how Ray stayed true to himself, about him being open and honest to the others with the truth and even his own feelings. With Norman, I don't know the word for him really, but his speech about their family and his feelings remind me of ch1/ep1 where we see him trying to calm Emma down after seeing what they did at the gate. He stayed by her side and remained hopeful even though he was just as scared. Right now, I get the same vibes. He's just as upset as their family upon learning Emma lost her memories, but he still wants her to be apart of their family.

Although it seems like a very rushed way of tying up loose ends, I'm happy to hear about how well the children have been adapting in the human world. They're attending school and following their passions. They all look so happy! The entire Lambda crew is healthy and Cislo even has a prosthetic leg! The medicine made from Adam's dna was successful and also helped those children from the mass production farms. Mike Ratri and the clan are actually being helpful and trustworthy. I absolutely love Norman's comment about Ayshe not killing him! It really makes me smile and I assume that means she's forgiven him.. maybe. Her dogs were indeed able to cross over to the human world too and now there's even more! Chris is finally awake! They seriously have to fill the poor boy in on so much news though.

I get it. It took the entire story for me to understand but now I get Norman's intense feelings. He's been infatuated by this girl since childhood. He told us/Ray his feelings at age 11 then "gave his life" to give her a better chance at survival. He kept living just for the slight possibly to see her again. After almost two years, they reunite, only for about a week or two before they all cross over into the human world and Emma is no where to be seen. Another two years pass and while they all find her, she's almost a completely difference person. Yet Norman's feelings remain so sincere for her that he accepts this new Emma. He lets her know that the bright future she wished for came true. (me? speaking of noremma? even im surprised)

Her head might not have the slightest idea who these people are, but her heart surely remembers! Emma's feelings for her family were so strong that they persisted throughout these entire two years, even after she stopped having those dreams about them. Deep down, and without even realizing it, she loves them so much that it makes her cry.

“Why am I... Even though I don't know them. Though I don't know anything. Though I can't remember. Why... Does it feel warm, but also so painful in my heart? I wanted to see you.”

Seeing everyone else get emotional and expressing their feelings to her right back and having all of them accept this new Emma.. yeah, that has me in tears! Demon god truly underestimated these kids and how deep their love for each other went. Emma's family was never going to give up looking for her because, thanks to her influence, they also didn't believe anything was impossible. “Screw destiny” indeed! (also we never did learn the old dude's name or Emma's new one hm? odd.)

Did Emma get her memories back? No. Did Ray pat her head again so I could die from nostalgia? No, because I'm still here. Did we get a fullscore hug like I originally hoped? No, sadly. The ending isn't picture perfect but honestly, this is still okay. Our precious girl is finally reunited with her family again. Most importantly, they're alive. The trio are teenagers about 15/16 years old now, which amazing since they once believed they wouldn't see a day past the age of 12. Yet here they are, living happy and free in the human world without fear and killing, which is exactly what Emma wished for.

I can't believe the manga is truly finished. It feels like it all went by so quick, but perhaps that's only because I haven't been in the fandom as long as others, like if you've been here since the manga started then I applaud you and can't imagine how sad this must be after four years. The anime is what caught my attention and my love for this series only grew when I jumped into the manga right after season one ended. I must have binged all available chapters at the time in like three days, all the way up to ch129. Since then I've waited patiently week after week to see how this suspenseful story would pan out for out lovable and very large cast of characters. Each new twist and cliffhanger made my brain crazy and stressed me out but it was so great to experience them with everyone.

Also, big thanks to all of you who share your comments on these reviews of mine! Even though I started writing them pretty late into the story and at the most stressful time, it was great to hear so much feedback and experience the exciting finish with everyone. The manga may have ended, but don't let that make the fandom quiet! We still have future manga volume releases to look forward to, the live-action movie that is still set for this December along with a live-action series that was also recently announced. Most importantly, season two of the anime is still scheduled for January 2021! You can bet I'll do reactions for each episode as I normally do with other anime! The series still has so much more content to give us, especially if the anime continues to recieve future seasons over the upcoming years, so of course I'll give my thoughts on all that I can.

I give all my thanks and appreciation to Shirai & Demizu for such a wonderful and suspenseful story, for all the memorable characters and the stunning artwork. The series has truly become my favorite. That's right, I said it! My favorite. TPN has taken over Black Lagoon as my favorite series. (Revy can still keep her spot as my favorite character but I'll be damned if Ray isn't a really really close second.)

[carelessannie]

maybe it goes like this: tony courts peter (part 2)

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten

Read on A03

Read the Stuckony backstory WIP

Starker focus (Tony x Peter), Winteriron (Tony x Bucky), with reference to Stucky, Stony and Stuckony

This is the “meet... awkward” for my AU, and takes place roughly 8 months before the first chapter. Enjoy!

Major warnings: D/S Au, A/B/O Au, OmegaSub!Peter, BetaDom!Tony, OmegaSwitch!Bucky, AlphaDom!Steve, Heavy Awkward Flirting, Cute Nicknames, Kinda Sexy Winteriron

Maybe it goes like this:  

8 Months Earlier

Peter is looking forward to seeing his Pack after class, definitely needing to cuddle up with Annie in their nest tonight. And maybe Clint will bring home pizza. It’s been a long-ass day.

Okay, definitely pizza.

From the front of the class, Peter can hear his professor introducing the guest lecturer, and he drags his backpack around to his seat to unlock his laptop and notebook. Just as he logs in and dates his notebook page, Peter looks up to see the most attractive man in New York walk through the door, smile to the class, and introduce himself.

Tony.

Tony Stark?

No Way. The Tony stark?

Peter's ears ring, and he swears he sinks three feet into the floor.

Mr. “just call me Tony” Stark is saying something about BioMolecular Engineering, about class credit, about new processes in the industry, about independent research opportunities, about the— wait.

Peter jerks in his seat, mouth ajar, as The Tony Stark lists benefits of working in his research lab for Stark Industries, a dream Peter has nursed since high school. He barely hears the rest of the presentation, focusing on closing his mouth and blinking, keeping hot Arousal out of his scent, adjusting himself in his pants—

“—and I’ll take questions up front if you have them, thanks."

There’s a round of lazy applause, as students start to pack up and file out, and Peter shakes himself, You have to talk to him. He scribbles a few questions on his notebook and throws everything into his backpack, floating across the classroom and to the back of the line.

When he finally steps up, both of them freeze. Peter restrains himself from scenting the older man right there in the classroom because hot damn .

Peter lets out a short gasp of “hellomynameisPeterParker,” thrusting his hand forward, and is pulled in for a firm handshake, Tony Stark looking into his eyes with a vaguely amused expression.

Peter lets go, reluctantly, and stutters out, “M-mr. Stark? I think I’d be interested in the semester research opportunity.”

“Of course, Peter Parker,” Tony turns and grabs a StarkPad, scrolling briefly before handing it over to Peter, “if you want to fill it out today, feel free. It’s an equal opportunity research grant, and provides a weekly stipend for the duration of the program.”

Mr. Stark continued with details, as Peter quickly puts his information in the application and presses “submit.” He peers up at the older man, Beta? Probably? Most of what he can scent is spice and fire– maybe cinnamon, or chai like Clint? It’s hard to tell without throwing his face into the man’s neck, and inhaling deep–

“Mr. Parker? Pete?”

Peter’s head shoots up, and he realizes he’s been still for too long without responding, and immediately goes to apologize, “Oh, I-i’m so sorry, Mr. Stark, I just… I finished the application? Shouldn’t I submit– or, sorry– send in a resume? Sorry.”

Mr. Stark keeps his expression schooled, but Peter can tell that he’s holding back a smile. Dammit Parker, way to nail the first impression. He shifts on his feet, biting his lip as Mr. Stark shakes his head slowly.

“No, it’s okay Peter. Our admin team will review the first round of applications by department, and send out an email link for further information, alright?” he gives into his smile, reaching out as if to... what, comfort Peter? But aborts the motion and crosses his arms, flexing slightly under his navy suit.

“Do you have any other questions, Peter?”

“No, n-no not right now, sorry, thank you Mr. Stark, sir. Um. Okay? I’ll see you later?” and Peter beats a hasty retreat out of the classroom, feeling his scent shift Embarrassed and hot tears prick his eyes.

Why does he always give a terrible first impression?

—

Tony stands, shocked in the empty classroom, schooling his scent and his breathing.

Thank you Mr. Stark, sir.

He collects his things in a haze, heading back to his pack and thinking about the gorgeous omega who just called his name.

Damn. His Alpha and Omega are gonna want to hear about this.

2 Weeks Later

Tony is straightening up the last few items in the R&D lab, hearing Pepper’s complaints of You need to care about your work space, Tony and You need to prepare a safe space for interns to work, Tony. And Pepper is right, of course, so Tony keeps cleaning.

He hears the doors swish open, and sighs, schooling his expression to neutral. He whirls around, raising his hands to defend himself against what he assumes is a new portion of nagging from Pepper, and instead–

The pretty omega from NYU.

What? “What are you–” Tony starts, watching as– Parker? Pete, Peter?– clutches a bag close to his chest, large doe eyes widening in shock and fear and… yup, there it is, FearShockEmbarassed Omega scent floods the lab as Peter takes a step backwards, lips opening and closing in shock.

“Hey, are you–”

“I’m so sorry, I–”

Tony shakes his head, stepping a little closer, “No, it’s okay, Peter? Right? From NYU?” with a nod in confirmation, Tony barrels ahead, “I thought you were– no, it doesn’t matter. Are you, are you here for the internship?”

“Y-yes, I’m sorry, they said to come at noon, but I thought I’d get here early and, god I can’t believe it, I’m so sorry, I’ll just wait– uh, wait outside?” Peter stutters through the explanation, lowering his eyes and backing towards the door to retreat into the hallway.

“No, like I said Peter, it’s okay, honestly,” Tony looks around quickly, trying to find a seat for the started young man, and yanks out the stool to his workbench, “here, sit down, please?”

There’s a moment of stillness as Peter looks between the stool and Tony, muttering something under his breath and setting his jaw in determination. Damn this boy is adorable, and Tony forces himself to keep a neutral expression as the om– the intern – walks across the room and sets down his backpack. Tony turns to the other side of the desk to give Peter some space, and clears the last of the notebooks into a nearby drawer.

He wants to start a conversation with Peter, fingers twitching in the unbearable silence, but is saved by the lab doors opening again, revealing Pepper leading five lost looking interns into the room. She leads so gracefully, he thinks, and feels his scent turn Fond and Proud for the Beta. Pepper sits each intern down, greeting Peter as well, and before he knows it, orientation and introduction are underway. The interns have their own work benches, and Pepper lets another supervisor take over the first day paperwork.

While the interns work in silence, Tony refuses to fixate on Peter, even though he takes to the research environment so beautifully. He's smart, he makes the funniest sarcastic quips when he thinks no one is listening, and he's kind of quiet, but always speaks up when he has a strong opinion.

Tony keeps his interactions unbiased among the other interns, mostly betas and one alpha, and is so relieved when the day ends and the students finally shuffle out of the lab. Peter ends up last to leave, staring at Tony and nervously licking his lips as he shoulders his bag. He seems to hesitate.

“Yeah, what’s up Pete?”

“Oh… no, right, see you tomorrow?” Peter shifts back and forth on his feet.

Tony smiles, “Of course, early bird,” and honestly can’t help his eye twitching, helplessly, in a wink.

Peter stutters out some type of goodbye, and flutters back through the door.

Tony blows out a breath, “JARVIS, call Bucky.”

—

“So what you’re tellin’ me is, you’ve somehow managed to find a smokin’ hot–”

“Beautiful,” Tony interrupts, “and compatible–”

“Right, smokin’ hot, compatible omega, and you… hire him?”

“I mean, technically I didn’t hire him personally–”

“Tony–”

“No, you know what, I get it. It’s my fault I can’t have him. But Bucky, I swear he’s so damn smart, and I can’t even let myself hope about his orientation,”

Bucky groans audibly over the line, but Tony protests again, “–because I swear he would submit so beautifully, Bucky, I can just see it. And remember how I said he called me sir?”

“How could I forg–”

“It’s all I can think about. I don’t wanna be overbearing, but I’m completely helpless around him and have no idea what to do. Bucky, I winked at him. Winked. And he ran away so fast.”

He can hear Bucky laughing at him over the line, that idiot, and Tony drops his head in his hands.

“Want my advice, sweetheart?” Bucky doesn’t wait for an answer before continuing, “I think you should take it slow and court ‘im. Sounds like it could be awhile before you can make anything official, and what is he, like eighteen?”

“... Twenty.”

“Okay, twenty. He probably isn’t looking for a permanent pack anyways, alright? Get to know ‘im at work, and as soon as you can, you should also put a stop to him seeing you as his boss,”

“Wait, but–”

“No, Tony. As much as it feels great for this little omega to call you ‘Mr. Stark’ and ‘Sir,’ if you want anything more with this guy, you have to work to even out the relationship a bit.”

Tony slumps down into a seat, sighing dramatically. Bucky goes silent as Tony processes what he’s saying. A thought occurs to him,

“Wait, is that how Steve got you?”

Bucky snorts, “Yeah, you know our Alpha’s ‘bout as subtle as a dump truck. His advice is gonna be, ‘sit the omega down, state your intentions to court him, communicate clearly,’ all that shit,” another laugh, this time fonder, “I’m just sayin’ to save that for later, okay? Take it slow.”

Heading towards the door, Tony signals for JARVIS to move the conversation to his phone as he heads home. He pops in an earpiece for the call, and makes sure Bucky is still on the line.

“Yeah, I’ll take your advice Bucky-bear. Hey, are you home?” Tony taps his foot as the elevator descends to the parking garage, feeling a familiar itch starting under his skin.

“Yeah I am, Steve’s out until later... why, what’s up?”

He gets out of the elevator, heading for his car, “I think all this talk of the perfect omega has me missing you. Wanna do something soft and dirty when I get home?”

Bucky hums, the sound sweet and tempting, even over the phone line, “Whaddya have in mind, my Beta?”

“Oh you know I love when you call me that,” Tony peels out onto the main road, heading towards their coastal property, their home, “I want you to contact Steve and ask him to pick up dinner, your choice. I’ll tell him what my plan is for you tonight, so he won’t be surprised. I’ll be there in thirty-five minutes and want you in the red room, ready to play, understood?”

Tony can hear Bucky breathing quicker over the phone as he responds, “Yes, Beta.”

“My good omega. And for now, let’s not tell our Alpha about Peter. Not unless it gets serious, okay?”

“Mmm okay, Tony. Hurry home,” and Bucky ends the call.

Tony steps on it.

[thespianbooks]

A Court of Nightmares and Starlight //Chapter 5//

(Chapter 1) (Chapter 2) (Chapter 3) (Chapter 4) (Chapter 5) (Chapter 6) (Chapter 7) (Chapter 8) (Chapter 9) (Chapter 10)

(Tags: @thron3ofbooks @df3ndyr @courtofjurdan @art-e-mis @herondamnn @the-third-me @im-still-trying-here @emikadreams @paytin77)

It was all I could do to keep from bursting into joyous tears as Madja announced that I was ten weeks along in my pregnancy. Upon revealing that my suspicions were true, she completed a thorough examination. She determined that since I was in the early stages, that was the cause of lingering sickness and fatigue. Unfortunately, those symptoms would continue until I was about halfway along; where most females felt the best and most of the unlikeable symptoms eased a bit. I was also surprised to learn that a fae pregnancy lasts five weeks longer than a human’s, but it made sense on a larger scale. As powerful immortal beings, we needed more time in the womb to develop.

After her examination, she prescribed a few prenatal herbal teas that I would need to drink in order to aid in the baby’s growth. I smiled at the word, brushing my fingertips along my abdomen again—knowing this would become a new habit for me, and for Rhys. A baby, our baby, growing strong inside of me as Madja promised. He would be as strong as his father, the most powerful High Lord in Prythian, and with my powers combined…

My smile faltered as I realized what this meant.

Years ago, Rhys confided in me about his concern over any potential offspring he might have, afraid they would be hunted and sought after by his enemies. If his children inherited his abilities alone, they would be just as powerful. What did that threat mean now with my blood mixed in?

Cursebreaker. Cauldron-blessed. The first ever High Lady in Prythian, who inherited a drop of power from all seven of the High Lords after being resurrected.

What powers would my child inherit from me? Combined with Rhys’s, our child’s strength would surpass both of ours alone; which meant the same for all the other High Lords of Prythian. We had alliances now, but how many of those would change after they learned about my son? After they saw a fraction of their power in him, in combination with Rhysand’s? My mind began to race and breathing became difficult as I looked down at my stomach, my fingers gripping my tunic in panic. Would he be in danger? Who were we close enough with to know that they would never consider such a thing? What if they came after him before he was born? Would they target me? I had to do something, but what if there was nothing I could do?

I had to protect him—my baby.

Protect, protect, protect.

“My lady,” a gentle voice interrupted the rising chaos in my mind, even gentler hands gripping my shoulders and I saw the healer’s dark eyes meet mine as she leveled a look at me.

I became aware of my ragged breathing, hunched back and tense shoulders, trembling. Her delicate, wrinkled hands moved from my shoulders to either side of my face. A blue aura illuminated those hands as they touched my face, and slowly I calmed. Slowly, my shoulders relaxed and I slid my eyes closed as my breaths evened out, a few tears escaping past my lids.

After a few seconds of that peace, Madja slowly let go of my face and straightened, “You mustn’t be afraid, my lady. Your child will be a very powerful high fae, but you are surrounded by friends—family. The uncertainty the future brings may be frightening, but there is also joy in it,” she said gently as she handed me a handkerchief. “That is what you must focus on right now. The joy in a healthy and developing baby.”

I sniffed as I dabbed at my eyes, nodding in agreement “Thank you Madja. I just felt so overwhelmed for a minute,” I lamented.

“Oh, I see this reaction more often than you would believe. First time mothers have many fears, and you will be no different. Just remember the joy in it,” she reassured.

She was right, I couldn’t allow the fear to consume me. I wouldn’t let it control me or take away from this moment of happiness. This baby, our son, was a miracle. Fae children were difficult to conceive, but Rhys and I had done it. We were going to have a baby; over half a millennia later one would be born into the Night Court’s ruling family—my family. He would be cherished by our Inner Circle, and loved by the people of Velaris; just as they loved Rhys. My heart swelled as I pictured what the moment of joy would look like on his face when I told him; how those violet eyes would brighten and sparkle like the stars and how he would grin. I wanted to paint that moment more than anything, and now after a decade of waiting, I finally would.

“Shall I call the High Lord in for the good news?” she asked as she began packing up her bag of supplies.

“Oh no, please don’t tell him yet,” I urged and she raised an amused brow at me as I flushed, “I want to surprise him...tomorrow at Starfall.”

She nodded her understanding, “I see,” she said as she finished packing and grabbed my hands, squeezing them lightly. “The High Lord will be thrilled, my lady,” she said, and the genuine delight in her voice caused my eyes to burn.

She laughed heartily at the silver lining my eyes, “Expect more of that. Your hormones will cause plenty of surges in your emotions,” she explained empathetically.

I grimaced, “In other words, I’ll be an emotional mess.”

She laughed again and patted my hands, “All completely normal. For now, drink that brew of herbs I gave you three times a day, get plenty of rest, and I will be back next week to check your progress.”

I nodded and walked her to the door of my bedroom, “Thank you Madja,” I said.

“You’re welcome my lady,” she said sweetly before leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I touched my stomach tentatively, knowing underneath layers of skin and muscle my child was growing—safely. He was finally real; a manifestation of the love Rhys and I had for each other. So far, only the healer and I knew of his existence, and soon Rhysand would know as well. For the moment, I caressed my still flat stomach and cherished this little time we had alone.

XXX

The hours leading up to our Starfall celebration would be torturous.

Once I emerged from my room and the healer left, everyone was eager to hear her diagnosis of my condition. I did my best to reassure them all that I was perfectly fine, and simply needed more time to recover from my previous illness. Not a complete lie, but I knew they were all unconvinced—especially my mate. I immediately knew that keeping up a façade would be difficult, but luckily, I had plenty of experience with masks of deception. Years in the Night Court with occasional appearances in the Court of Nightmares, and serving as High Lady would certainly assist me in hiding my pregnancy for at least the next twenty-four hours or so.

Later, after we turned in for the night, Rhys begged for a detailed account of Madja’s official diagnosis. I again had to convince him that I was all right, which was technically true. I was pregnant, not sick; so aside from my body working hard to grow a high fae baby, I was fine. An hour into him trying to pry me for more information, I finally managed to silence him by pushing him onto the bed and straddling his hips. This morning however, was more of a struggle. Madja warned me that the fatigue would linger throughout the next several months of my pregnancy, but I soon realized it was going to be an uphill battle to force myself from bed, let alone try and convince my mate that I was still on the road to recovery.

Thankfully, Starfall was finally here; one of our rare days off, and I could use it to my advantage. It had been a while since we spent a day alone together; in the weeks that followed since his return from the Illyrian mountains, we fell back into our regular routine with our schedules as High Lord and Lady. Despite our initial reunion and the brief mating frenzy renewed, which caused us to sneak away from time to time throughout the day, we still attended to our responsibilities. But today was our holiday, and a year from now our child would be here to celebrate his first Starfall. Soon it would no longer be just the two of us, my sisters and our Inner Circle; soon there would be an infant for us to raise and love, so I wanted to continue to take advantage of our time alone while we still had it.

I convinced Rhys to let us spend the morning in bed together, where we took our time worshipping each other's bodies, ate a hearty breakfast and lounged together well into the afternoon. By lunchtime, I felt my energy renew and we enjoyed our lunch in the gardens before we parted to finalize last minute details for the party. Traditionally, that meant Mor and I attended to any directions Elain might have for us and the Illyrians did...well whatever they liked to do before a party.

“They’re probably at Rita’s right now having drinks,” Mor wondered aloud as she and I rearranged the refreshments table in the grand hall.

I stepped back to review my work, and shrugged, “Maybe, but there’s plenty of drinks here, so that doesn’t make much sense,” I reasoned.

“Neither does ‘I’m getting over a cold, I promise,’” she mocked.

I glared at her, but she threw her head back with a laugh, “Don’t look so serious Feyre, whatever secret you have is safe with me.”

I bristled, moving to fuss with a flower arrangement by the table, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said as casually as I could.

“I’ve been keeping a secret for most of my existence, Feyre, I think that makes me an expert,” she said.

I paused and looked her way, “Mor-” I began but she held a hand up to stop me.

“Like I said, it's safe with me,” she said and a look of understanding silently passed between us before she turned to the next task Elain set out for her.

Maybe she did already know, and maybe she didn’t. Either way, I believed that she wouldn’t reveal it to Rhys or anyone else for that matter. I took a step back again to examine the room, happy with the decorations Elain meticulously had installed every year. Sparkling bowls of fae lights lit the room in a warm glow, allowing the white marble floors and moonstone columns to illuminate naturally. The delicate chiffon curtains adorning the windowless arched walls were decorated with tiny sparkles of fae light, a design Elain created herself, and accentuated the varying shades of cream, ivory and silver flower arrangements spread out throughout the room. They framed the horizon perfectly and opened up to the expansive veranda that led right into the gardens, allowing guests to move in and out of the estate easily and a perfect view of the spirits' journey across the night sky as we all danced. It was initially my idea to host the people of Velaris in the grand hall, remembering that these were the kind of memories I wanted to make in our new home.

I touched my stomach briefly when Mor wasn’t looking. What would he look like in a year? He would be too small to run around and try to disturb any decorations, so perhaps I would walk him around the estate and show off all the adornments before Rhys and I would put him to bed. We’d no doubt be exhausted, but happy. Maybe we’d celebrate Starfall privately in our suite, just the three of us. I felt that glimmer in the pit of my stomach and I smiled. Would you like that, little one? I thought to myself, wondering if he could hear me.

“It’s perfect!” Elain cheered as she and Nesta walked into the room.

I quickly moved my hand from my stomach as I turned to face them, but not fast enough for Nesta not to take notice. Thankfully, she only raised a perfectly arched brow at me, “Shouldn’t you be getting ready? Your guests will be arriving shortly,” she reminded me.

I nodded, “I was just about to leave,” I said as I looked over their attire.

Elain wore a delicate soft pink strapless A-line gown with a glitter ombre falling from her bust line down to the floor; a braid crowning the top of her head with the rest of her hair flowing just past her shoulders. Nesta, as conservative as ever, wore a long-sleeved gown in a similar fashion, only in a deep violet with a more subtle glittering effect. Her hair was pulled back in a loosely braided bun, a few loose strands of curls framing her face. Despite her controlled face and aloof attitude, I was glad Nesta still joined us after Cassian all but dragged her here for our first celebration in the estate years ago.

“Nuala and Cerridwen are waiting for you in your suite, Feyre. You go get dressed, and I’ll greet everyone, don’t worry,” Elain said sweetly, brushing her hands over her gown when she realized I was looking, silently asking for my approval.

“Just as she does every year,” Nesta interjected as I offered Elain a nod of assent.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and began walking out, “I’ll be back with Rhys before it starts,” I said and made my way back up to my suite.

As Nuala and Cerridwen began my dressing routine, I began to play different scenarios of the speech I would give Rhys when I announced my pregnancy. Only to realize I didn’t really have a speech at all, and began scrambling for one. As memorable as I wanted this moment to be, I was sincerely lacking in creativity and eloquence. I sighed in defeat as I stood before the mirror, checking over my appearance—the same blue-white liquid starlight gown I adorned every year, and my hair swept away from my face with the same diamond studded combs I wore on my first Starfall. In an attempt to make tonight more memorable for Rhys, I wanted to recreate our first celebration together; I asked the shadowed-twins to style me the same way they had that night.

After dismissing themselves, I ran tentative fingers along my abdomen again before inhaling a deep and anxious breath. “Let’s go tell your father,” I said quietly, resigned with the fact that I would just have to wing whatever speech I would give Rhys for the news.

XXX

An hour into the party, after mingling with our friends and guests, the estate’s lights dimmed naturally and everyone began pooling out into the veranda as the star-spirits began their glittering descent. The sky was soon decorated with the spirits twirling and sparkling forms as the guests cheered with raised champagne glasses.

“Raise a glass, my love,” Rhys purred in my ear as he stepped up behind me, his chest brushing against my back as he offered the glass before me.

I hesitated, knowing it probably wasn’t wise to drink now that I knew I was expecting, but took the glass anyway before turning to face him, “Let’s go to our balcony,” I said as I straightened the collar of his traditional black jacket, tracing over the silver-lined pattern on his lapels lightly.

“Now?” He asked with his smug feline grin, “Usually we stay at least an hour after the dancing’s begun.”

“I know, but,” I paused, chewing over what to say next, “I wanted to ask you something.”

Something you can’t ask me around our guests? He asked through the bond, his feline grin turning into a teasing one

I rolled my eyes before brushing past him and striding down the hall, not bothering to look back to make sure he was coming. Well?

“Oh, I’m right behind you Feyre darling,” he purred in my ear again as his hand brushed over the small of my back, walking in step with me to the hall leading to our balcony.

“As you should be,” I said haughtily.

His dark chuckle reverberated through me, my stomach fluttering as I fought a smile and we stepped onto the balcony together. I walked up to the railing, setting my champagne glass aside and stared up at the sky as the star-spirits continued to sparkle and dance. Rhys’s fingers brushed up and down my spine softly as he watched with me, both of us in a comfortable silence. I watched from the corner of my eye as the stars illuminated his handsome face, a warm smile on his lips and I reached a hand down to hold his.

He turned that smile to me, “What did you want to ask me, my love?”

My heart skipped a beat as a question I was genuinely curious about popped into my mind, “What’s the first memory you have of Starfall?” I asked.

“That’s what you dragged me out here in the cold for?” He asked with a smirk, moving to stand behind me as he slid his arms around my waist and rested his chin atop the crown of my head.

I leaned into his embrace, perching my arms on his. I really do want to know

His sigh was peaceful as he contemplated, searching his memory as we continued to watch the sparkling display. Should I show you or do you want me to tell you?

“Tell me,” I answered quietly. My mind too tangled a mess to allow myself into his without the possibility of revealing my secret prematurely.

His arms tightened around me slightly as he smiled into my hair, “I was five years old. My mother and father brought me to the House of Wind, as they did every year. It was the first I managed to stay awake long enough to actually see the star-spirits,” he explained.

Gentle swells of music began to play behind us, and he swayed us from side to side smoothly. “It was years before they began to drift apart, so their relationship was strong. I remember it was the first time I realized how much they actually loved each other; for a time at least. I used to wonder how honest their love actually was, and my mind would always drift back to the memories of them dancing together on Starfall to remind me. It was also the night my mother announced she was pregnant with my sister.

“We were on the balcony at the House of Wind, watching the star shower. I was sitting on my father's shoulders, pointing out every spirit I saw. I was completely in awe of them. I think seeing my reaction made my mother cry, and when my father asked her what was wrong, she said to him ‘I can’t wait for our next child to look at the stars the way he does.’ The look on his face; the genuine elation in his eyes was enough to convince me that, for at least a part of my childhood, they had real love for each other.”

My eyes burned and my throat thickened as he relayed his memories, holding me close as we continued to sway together as the music continued to play. I moved to squeeze his hands lightly, his arms still wrapped around me from behind.

“That’s a beautiful memory, Rhys,” I whispered, my tears still threatening to spill.

He moved to bury his face in the crook of my neck, planting a kiss there as he breathed a peaceful sigh through his nose; still moving us along to the music, “Beautiful as it may be, my favorite Starfall memory will always be the first we shared together Feyre darling,” he whispered back.

I couldn’t help the few tears that fell as I closed my eyes with a smile, squeezing his hands a little harder. Words failed me in that moment and I opened my eyes again, both of our gazes turning to the sky as a large sprite glittered close to us. I gasped as the star-spirits began vaulting across the sky in greater numbers. They decorated the horizon in an endless dance—like liquid starlight sparkling above us as they danced and twirled. I heard the excited cheers of our guests on the other side of the estate and grinned. Mor was right, this year the spirits returned in vast amounts, unlike I ever imagined or thought possible.

A thought for a thought, Feyre darling?

I smiled and grabbed his hands, moving them from my waist and resting them on my abdomen right as that glimmer pulsed through it. “I’m thinking, I can’t wait for our baby to look at the stars the way you do,” I said.

Rhys stiffened at my words and I turned in his arms, making sure his hands stayed on my stomach as my eyes met his, my eyes burning again “I’m pregnant, Rhys.”

His eyes widened and looked down at where our hands rested, as though he might see the evidence now that I said the words aloud. A second later he dropped to one knee before me, eye level with our joined hands as he caressed my stomach fondly.

His eyes, now lined with silver, met mine again, “You’re pregnant?” He choked out.

I nodded with a sob, my words failing me once again and he sucked in a breath as he looked at my abdomen again. “My son, the son you showed me on your birthday, is growing inside of you...now?” He asked, his throat thick.

I sobbed again, a wet laugh escaping as I nodded, “That’s what pregnant means,” I rasped.

I heard his own strangled sob before he shot up to his feet, pulling me into an embrace and lifting me off the ground as he spun me around, chanting my name over and over again. “FeyreFeyreFeyre,” he sobbed in my hair.

I laughed and sobbed and cried all at once, my arms wrapping around his shoulders as he planted me back onto the ground and held onto my waist. His forehead rested against mine and I brought my hands up to brush his tears away while my own shamelessly poured down my cheeks.

“When I first noticed how different your scent was, I thought it was possible, but I didn’t want to say anything and get our hopes up,” he explained as he brought his hands up to wipe my tears away as well.

“You were suspicious this whole time?” I sniffed with a laugh.

“You’re my mate, I knew something was going on, but you didn’t even seem to realize it so I didn’t say anything,” he said, thumbs running over my cheeks as I held his wrists gently.

I smiled, “To be fair, I didn’t catch on until yesterday, after I fainted. I can’t believe I was so dense,” I laughed in disbelief.

He shook his head, returning his hands and gaze to my stomach “You weren’t...neither of us saw it coming,” he said softly.

“We tried for so long Rhys,” I whispered, my hands coming to rest on his chest.

He caressed my stomach again, “We’re going to have a baby,” he swallowed and his violet eyes met mine. “I love you beyond measure, Feyre. You’ve given me more than I could have ever dreamed of, more than I could possibly deserve, and now,” he dropped to one knee, again surveying my stomach as he continued, “I can’t wait to meet the son you’re blessing me with.”

I sobbed again and wrapped my arms around him as he leaned in to place a kiss on my abdomen. He stayed there for a minute before rising again, slipping his arms around my waist and capturing my lips with his. I kissed him back deeply, holding him close as we resumed moving to the music—dancing slowly as the stars continued their whirling journey beyond the horizon. Our brows pressed together as we swayed, and I draped my arms over his shoulders as his hands held my waist.

After today, this better be your new favorite Starfall memory, I said down the bond.

His answering smile was mischievous. Until next year, when I can dance with you on one arm and my son on the other.

My heart tightened at the thought, and I kissed him again. To the stars who listen, Rhys.

To the dreams that are answered, Feyre.

[stevie-kd]

“Feral”

Part 5

Read part 1 here

Read part 2 here

Read part 3 here

Read part 4 here

::in which Bakugou and Kirishima are closer than ever, quite literally and figuratively. Bakugou messes up, plans are definitely NOT cancelled, and there is a maybe date happening::

P.S. IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO POST. It was a loooong week. I’ve gotten a promotion though, so that was cool! Anywho, I’ll try and be quicker with the updates since I have a lot of my one-shots already half finished:)

P.P.S. I wrote out the whole chapter and apparently it’s exceeded a word count or something so I had to split it into two chapters. I just have to give it a quick edit and I’ll have it up today, hopefully in the next couple hours.

+++++++++++++

Aizawa kept Bakugou for one more night just for observation. He was allowed back to class Tuesday morning.

Kirishima waited outside of his dorm for Bakugou to finish getting ready. He played a game on his phone and leaned against the wall opposite of Bakugou’s door.

He’d only been waiting a few minutes before the door opened and a fully-uniformed Bakugou Katsuki stepped out. He looked well rested and much more like himself than Kirishima had seen him in days. He still had his usual grumpy look, but it put a smile on Kirishima’s face to see it. He’d missed Bakugou so much that having him back felt like a hole had been filled in his chest.

Kirishima didn’t think about what he did next until Bakugou pulled away. The redhead looked down at their hands, dawning on him that he’d just tried to hold Bakugou’s hand. The movement felt so natural, almost like an instinct.

“Oh!” he said, surprised by himself. “I’m sorry, man. That was weird of me. I didn’t even think about it—”

“It’s fine, Shitty Hair,” Bakugou interrupted him. “Here.”

Kirishima watched as Bakugou laced their arms together at their elbows. He had a weird scowl on his face, but he didn’t say anything about it and opted to tug Kirishima along to get him moving. Together, arm in arm, they descended the hall until they reached the elevator.

They didn’t say a word the whole ride down. Kirishima was too lost in his racing thoughts to come up with the right thing to say.

Was Bakugou touch starved? He wasn’t ever the type of guy to initiate any sort of touching. Though, he hadn’t been able to get near anyone in days. On average, at least a few times a day Kirishima would lean on him or put a hand on his shoulder or sometimes even throw him into a surprise hug the blond didn’t see coming. Bakugou had adapted to Kirishima’s fondness. This—having Bakugou as the initiator—was so foreign, Kirishima couldn’t wrap his head around it.

They didn’t let go of each other until they reached the kitchen. Kirishima tossed Bakugou ingredients and utensils as the explosive boy whipped up some egg drop ramen for the two of them.

He usually made more food to include the Bakusquad, but he never bothered with breakfast. The other three were never up early enough.

As it turned out, Kaminari was right: Kirishima had missed Bakugou’s cooking. He wasn’t sure where the blond learned to cook so well, but Kirishima would have given his pal a five star review on Yelp if he could have.

“What did I miss in class?” Bakugou asked after they’d sat down. He was twirling his chopsticks around in his bowl to pick up some noodles.

“Don’t know,” Kirishima answered through a mouthful. He swallowed before continuing. “I didn’t really go to class yesterday.”

Bakugou frowned. He glared at his ramen like he’d just witnessed it murder his cat. “Let’s ask Ponytail for her notes. I’m not asking shitty Deku. His notebook is a fucking mess.”

“Good idea,” Kirishima agreed. “Hey, did you wanna do some extra training after class? The gym is free today. We could work on our special moves like last time.”

Bakugou seemed to be thinking it over. After a moment of considering, he set his chopsticks down. “What if we went to the movies?”

Kirishima stared at him. He’d said it in such a soft voice, Kirishima knew he was being serious. “The movies? Over training? That doesn’t sound like you.”

He glared in return. “Do you want to or not, Shitty Hair?”

He laughed. “Yeah, totally! Was there a movie you had in mind?”

Bakugou picked his chopsticks back up and was using the utensils to play with his food. Kirishima couldn’t help thinking he looked shy. His cheeks were the slightest hint of pink. “There’s that action movie… I know you like those.”

Kirishima perked up at that. “Really? You’re talking about the one where those two guys have to duel for the dojo after their master is killed, right?”

“The only cheesy-as-hell action movie in the theaters right now, yes.”

“Dude, I’ve wanted to watch that forever! It didn’t do great in the box office, but I think it looks great! You really want to sit through that for me? That doesn’t seem like your kind of movie.”

He finally stood to take his bowl to the sink. “I just want to get out. I’ve spent the last four days staring at white walls.” He nodded his head to Kirishima’s empty bowl, who got the message and passed it over.

“I’m down for the movie, one-hundred percent! And, hey—maybe this weekend we can go hiking? That should help get you out of your own head.”

He hummed in response. “There was that new trail we could try.”

“Oh! Yeah, I remember that. We wanted to go last time, but it was getting too dark so we didn’t get the chance. How’s your schedule look? I’m free all weekend!”

He finished up washing their dishes and deposited them onto the drying rack. “Let’s go Saturday. My shitty aunt is in town this weekend, so I can avoid her at least then. I have some stupid family dinner my parents are making me go to on Sunday if… uh, if you wanna go.”

Kirishima cocked his head. “To your family dinner? You want me to go? Would I be intruding?”

Bakugou leaned against the counter and folded his arms. “No. If you’re there I might actually act ‘civil’ is how my old hag put it. You can sleep over too, if you want.”

Kirishima’s eyes sparkled. A sleepover? At Bakugou’s house?! He’d been over a few times, and he loved being able to spend the extra time with his hot-headed friend. But a sleepover? His heart nearly leapt out of his chest.

“Hell yeah! You usually head home Friday nights, right? What time should I be around Saturday to head on the hike?”

“Just come home with me Friday. Then we can leave early.”

Holy. Shit.

Two whole nights with Bakugou. He felt like his brain was about to short circuit.

His moms wouldn’t like him not visiting over the weekend, but they would understand. He talked pretty highly of Bakugou to his parents, so they would know how much this meant to him.

He pumped his fists together. “Alright! A guys’ weekend! This is gonna be great, man! We can watch movies and play video games, and I’m gonna get you to stay up past eight-thirty!”

Bakugou snorted. “Then I’ll make sure to wake you up by six in the morning.”

“No!” Kirishima gasped. “That’s just cruel, man.”

Bakugou smirked and grabbed his book bag, then headed for the door. Kirishima jumped up to follow.

Class was extra boring today, and Kirishima couldn’t pay attention to a word of his lessons. The day dragged on, probably because he had the movies with Bakugou to look forward to.

Finally, the bell rang for lunch. He and the squad moved out while Bakugou stayed back to collect the homework assignments he missed yesterday. He’d catch up with them after.

They were all seated at their usual table, Ashido chatting everyone’s ears off. Kirishima zoned out staring out the window at the lawn when the pink-haired girl brought him back down to earth.

“Kiri? Babe. Earth to Kirishima.”

He smiled sheepishly. “Sorry. My head is all over the place today.”

He hadn’t even realized Bakugou sat down beside him. The blond was giving him a weird look as he popped open his bento box.

“So!” Kaminari exclaimed, catching everyone’s attention. “I had this idea—”

“Oh shit,” Bakugou muttered loud enough for everyone to hear.

Kaminari glared at him while everyone else laughed. “Anyway. Wouldn’t it be such a good idea if we challenged Bakugou and Sato to a cook off? Our class chef versus our class baker. It'd be epic!”

“I love it!” Ashido announced.

Sero looked into the distance dreamily. “Think about all the leftover food.”

“I don’t bake,” Bakugou stated. “I don’t do sweets. And Sugar Freak is a shit cook. Wouldn’t be much of a challenge.”

“Well, we can have you both whip up something as a main dish and then a dessert to follow,” Ashido suggested. “We could vote whose meal was better.”

Bakugou didn’t look impressed. He stuffed a chunk of beef into his mouth and ignored the rest of the conversation.

“What if we did it tonight? Everyone’s free, right?”

Kirishima whipped his head up from his meal to face Kaminari. “Not tonight, man. We’ve got homework to catch up on, and Bakugou and I were going to catch a movie.”

Everyone’s eyebrows scrunched. They stared between the two boys like this was weird behavior of them.

“The movies?” Ashido asked, her expression shifting to something more mischievous. “Like, just the two of you? Alone?”

“You annoying shitsticks aren’t coming, so don’t even ask,” Bakugou said in his grumpy voice.

Kaminari raised a devilish eyebrow. “So… is this like… a date?”

Kirishima felt his ears grow hot. “No! No, it’s not like that! We’re just two bros going to the movies! Right, Katsuki?”

He looked over to the blond, who had a death grip on his chopsticks. His face read pure rage, but there was a blush crawling up his neck and cheeks. It seemed to worsen at the use of his given name. The chopsticks snapped in his grip.

“KATSUKI?!” Ashido practically screamed. “He lets you call him by his given name?”

The other two boys were dying at this point. They clutched their stomachs as they busted out laughing, tears sparkling in their eyes. Sero slapped a hand on the table. “Oh my god! I can’t breathe!”

Bakugou slammed his own fists against the table and stood. “FUCK YOU GUYS, WE’RE OUT OF HERE! COME ON, SHITTY HAIR! LET’S GO.”

Kirishima stood on wobbly legs, his meal forgotten as his mind reeled. He chased after Bakugou, a million questions racing through his brain he couldn’t seem to vocalize. Was this a date? If it wasn’t, wouldn’t Bakugou have corrected them? If it was, why’d he get so defensive?

Bakugou turned around and grabbed Kirishima by the elbow to speed him up. They must have been too loud, because half the cafeteria’s eyes were watching them as they left.

They made it back to the classroom, and Bakugou’s grip hadn't let up. He finally let go when he moved to his desk and sat down heavily. He crossed his arms and turned his face away from Kirishima.

“Uh,” Kirishima tried to form words, but he wasn’t sure what to say. “Should we talk about this?”

“No,” he answered quickly.

“Well, that seemed to really bother you back there. If you were thinking—”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Eijirou.”

Kirishima could see the angry blush on his face when he glanced back at the redhead. Kirishima settled into the desk beside his. “Alright. You still want to go though, don’t you?”

He huffed. “Yeah, we’re still fucking going.”

His lips spread into a smile. “Glad to hear it! I can’t wait.”

The two broke out their homework after that, attempting to get caught up before the rest of the class slowly trickled back in. To Kirishima’s surprise, it was Bakugou who was having trouble focusing.

Class started up again, and Kirishima had to migrate back to his own desk. A worksheet was passed out by Midnight, and they were told to fill out what they could. Kirishima was only a few questions in when he glanced Bakugou’s way out of habit.

Midoriya was leaning forward, whispering something to Bakugou, who looked his usual amount of annoyed. It was when the green-haired boy reached out to tap Bakugou’s shoulder that chaos ensued.

Kirishima shot from his desk and across the room before most students even noticed anything was wrong. Everything happened so fast, even Kirishima’s brain had to play catch up.

Bakugou had snapped. In an instant, he’d had Midoriya pinned to the floor, slashing at his face with the claws that weren’t there. Midoriya was obviously caught off guard, but he was still fast enough to hold his arms up to shield his face from Bakugou’s attacks.

Kirishima tackled Bakugou off of his rival, using his hardening to pin him down. Bakugou was uncharacteristically hissing like some wild animal. Sero and Tokoyami were out of their seats now too, ready to help if they could.

“Katsuki!” Kirishima yelled, trying to snap the blond back to reality. “Katsuki, stop! It’s me! It’s Eijirou!”

Midnight stood above the boys, her hand resting on her sleeve and ready to tear it to put Bakugou to sleep with her quirk. Kirishima quickly shook his head at her. “Don’t! That won’t help.”

Bakugou’s movements became sluggish and he was blinking hard, quicly coming back to his senses. Kirishima watched as realization dawned in his eyes. He looked between Kirishima on top of him to Midoriya on the ground a few feet away. “Shit,” he cursed.

“Kacchan, I’m sorry!” Midoriya apologized. “I didn’t know the quirk hadn’t worn off yet. I shouldn’t have touched you. Kacchan, I’m so sorry!”

“Don’t fucking apologize to me, damn nerd!” he shouted in return. He growled in frustration. “I thought this shit was over.”

“It’s alright, man,” Kirishima sighed, relieved to have Bakugou back. He slid off of the blond and sat on the floor, rubbing the back of his neck. “Midoriya, you okay?”

“I-I’m fine!”

“Ahem,” Midnight cleared her throat. She had her hands on her hips and an unimpressed look on her face. “Could someone tell me what’s going on?”

“After effects,” Todoroki was the one to explain to Kirishima’s surprise. “It seems the quirk hasn’t quite worn off.”

“I’m fine now,” Bakugou grumbled. “It’s gone.”

“I highly doubt—”

“It was a fluke!”

“Guys!” Kirishima raised his voice to get them to stop. Bakugou glared at him for his interruption. Kirishima ignored the look and turned back to the other student still on the floor. “Midoriya, why don’t you swap seats with me for today?”

Midoriya nodded, finally pulling himself off the ground. “Good idea.”

Bakugou caught Kirishima’s wrist before he could stand as well. “I don’t need a damn babysitter.”

“I’m not babysitting you,” the redhead fired back. “My quirk is best suited to stop you if it happens again, which I doubt it will. Just a precaution, man.”

Midnight was tapping her foot, arms folded as she stared the two down. “Are you boys sure this is such a good idea?”

“Yes,” they said in unison. They looked at each other, and Bakugou bowed his head to allow Kirishima to finish. “He’ll be fine. It won’t happen again, and I’ll be there to stop him before it could happen again.”

She clicked her tongue. “Alright. I’ll allow it. Don’t make me regret it. And there had better not be any more interruptions.”

Everyone migrated back to their seats and the light chatter died off. Kirishima and Midoriya collected their things and traded seats. Once he was seated, Kirishima noticed a folded up piece of paper on the corner of the desk.

He opened it as quietly as he could, but Midnight seemed pretty preoccupied by the romance novel her eyes were glued to. It was definitely Bakugou’s handwriting, all caps and angry penmanship.

THANK YOU EIJIRO. YOU’ RE A GOOD FRIEND

Kirishima smiled. Bakugou really had grown so much in his time since coming to UA. Kirishima was so proud to be the explosive boy’s friend.

It’s cool ! Don’t sweat it man . Still wanna see that movie tonight ??

He tossed the note over Bakugou’s shoulder, who jumped a little like he was surprised to see it return. Kirishima could hear his pencil scrawling out a reply.

He passed it back, his eyes on Midnight to avoid being caught passing notes.

STILL THINK IT’S A GOOD IDEA?

Totally !! I wanna spend time with you dude

He chewed on his lip. Maybe that was a little too forward. He ended up erasing that bit and starting over.

Yeh man I think it’d be good for you to get out . Being cooped up for days isn’t good for ya

Bakugou held onto the note for a few minutes, maybe contemplating what to say. Kirishima tried to focus on his assignment, but it proved impossible and he ended up circling random answers.

Bakugou twisted his arm behind his back and held the folded note between two fingers. Kirishima plucked it from his grasp and unfurled it again.

COME TO MY ROOM AFTER YOU’RE READY TO GO. WE’RE GONNA GET DINNER FIRST SHITTY HAIR.

Kirishima giggled, and a few heads turned his way. He was too excited to care about the prying eyes or the blush that rose to his cheeks.

He couldn’t help but think about how date-like this seemed. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but… well.

He couldn’t help it.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Hope you guys liked it, and thanks for the read !!

Read part 6 here

8/31/2020

[jeannereames]

Hello, Dr. Reames! I love your work (and am very excited to read your novels very soon!). I am thinking of doing a phd (not history or classics, but maybe sort of related to Alexander) but I'm scared that I'm not going to have the motivation to go through with the whole thing... Do you ever lose motivation and get discouraged when researching/writing and how do you deal with it? I know that this is completely unrelated to Alexander/ancient history so feel free to ignore it☺

Hi, there! This reply is going to be in 3 parts. First, about my own motivation…

I think everybody (even Alexander!) has periods of feeling discouraged. It’s part of being human. This is especially true when something you put days, weeks, or sometimes *years* of effort into doesn’t work out, or isn’t well-received, or comes back with “revise and resubmit.” Ha.

So, real life recent example:  About a year and a half ago, I finished an article that took me (literally) 5 years to research and write, because it combined research into two different areas, only one of which is my research area. It took a huge amount of reading, and I’d even presented it at a couple of conferences, where I received good feedback. It was supposed to be published in conference proceedings, but that fell through (not my part of it, the entire publication didn’t happen because the editor quit). So I had to shop it around to journals. It went out to three readers, and all three returned it with “Revise (substantially) and resubmit,” + large *additional* bibliography (mostly not in English) in the area not my field. Two of the readers thought my chief point was valid, but needed more support. (The third just flat disagreed with me, but it’s academia; that happens.) But that was after it had been presented 3xs already, and revised after each.

OTOH, I was pretty discouraged. But OTOH, the suggestions and reading lists were helpful. These are blind reviews, so it wasn’t personal. And the entire point of peer review is to help a book or article improve. Lord knows, nobody wants to put out something that will get you laughed at. But after all the time I’d already spent on it, it was still really discouraging as I’d thought it in pretty good shape.

Almost everybody in academia is going to have an article or three turned down, or a book refused, etc. And after a while, it can be really hard to keep trying. And it’s not just in academia.

Do you know how long it took me to sell Dancing with the Lion? 15 years! I got my first serious query from an agent in 1996. (The first words of the novel were written in December of 1988–that’s how old it is.) That agent eventually decided it wasn’t for her. I’ve had a couple others since…same thing. I’ve sent out probably around 500 queries to agents or publishers. In fact, I’d put the book AWAY and started a completely different trilogy (which I’m in the middle of now), because I figured it would only sell later.

Then I happened to read comments about Madeline Miller’s A Song for Achilles written by an English professor and new acquisitions editor at Riptide. She liked it, but there were a couple of things she really didn’t like. And they were the very ways (I thought) my novel was different. So I emailed her. She asked for sample chapters, then the whole thing, and finally, Riptide offered me a contract. They’re not a major press, they’re a Romance publisher primarily, but they were willing to take a chance on my coming-of-age historical, so I grabbed the opportunity. Now the book is out (well, the first half is), and it’s getting pretty decent reviews.

So persistence can pay off.

That said, if someone else had told me that story 10 years ago, I’d have snorted and said (in my mind), “Maybe it did for you. Maybe I’m just a bad writer and I’ll never succeed.” I’d also just been through a divorce and was having trouble selling my house in the housing bust, etc., etc. So a lot of things in my life were pear-shaped at the time, and that can make it really hard to keep trudging.

The “Dark Night of the Soul” is a real thing, and we all go through it.

The only way I get through it, myself, is to remember things in the past that went well, times I succeeded. Plus, I’m just a really stubborn SOB. Ha.

But discouragement is normal, and there will be points in everybody’s life where not just one or two things are going wrong, but it seems as if EVERYthing is going wrong and you’re just a total failure. You have to believe it’ll get better.

Now, part #2, about motivation to complete a degree. It’s a bit like the AA motto: one day at a time. Or really, one semester at a time. One hurdle at a time. When I first got to Penn State, the long, long road ahead made me freak out a little, but Gene Borza (my advisor) told me to take it in bites. And to remember that other people had made it through; I could, as well.

Also, don’t let yourself get thrown by “Imposter’s Syndrome.” This is the feeling that you don’t belong somewhere: in grad school, in a PhD program, in a department (or really, ANY arena). You’re not as good as the others. Minorities, women, and first-generation college students are those most likely to suffer imposter’s syndrome, but it can hit others too, such as the children of academics (I’ll never measure up to mom/dad), etc.

Last, part #3, and this may seem an odd coda to all the above rah-rah cheerleading. But as a (now former) graduate program chair, I would be terribly remiss if I didn’t put out a warning.

Not only is the field of humanities in trouble right now, in the US and Canada, and elsewhere, too, but the entire university system is changing. This latter is especially true in the US, but I hear rumblings from other places. Partly, this owes to the rise of online education. But even more, it’s what I call the “Wal-martization” of the university, where tenure-track lines are being replaced by a bunch of part-time instructors who have to teach 6 classes just to make enough to EAT. “Adjunct” professors, even those with PhDs, are paid a pittance. It’s absolutely immoral and ridiculous.

Universities are turning into profit more than education, with a degree seen as “job training” instead of learning to think critically and exploring Big Questions, which are increasingly viewed as a waste of time. Administration levels are increasingly bloated with deans, assistant deans, supervisory boards, etc. They’re (mostly) not teaching, but their paycheques are high. Tenured faculty positions are being eliminated. Colleges and unis realized that they could turn over a lot of (especially intro and survey) courses to part-time instructors for a *fraction* of what they paid tenured and tenure-track faculty, but still reap high tuition.

When I was finishing up in the ‘90s, I was teaching as an adjunct while writing my dissertation, then for a bit after, as was expected for “teaching experience” before being hired. The phenomenon of the “Visiting Assistant Professor” (or VAP) was *starting* to gain traction, but was still usually just a year or two until these people would find a tenure-track position (VAP is not tenure-track). But now, I know people who’ve been VAPping for YEARS. And some just give up. Also, adjuncting like what I was doing has gone from “teaching experience for a real job” into “the only lane for employment” for a lot of PhD (and some MA) graduates. Especially women PhDs get caught in that trap.

These are the realities of where we are right  now.

And THE MOST USELESS DEGREE ON THE PLANET is a PhD in the humanities. I say that as one who holds it. With a few exceptions, a humanities PhD prepares you for pretty much one job: being a professor. And those jobs are winking out of existence with frightening speed. This is a change that has accelerated over the last 10 years, and especially over the last 5. We’re turning out PhDs with no available positions. Museum studies, Classics, archaeology, philosophy are in even worse shape. SOME history PhDs are more popular. This year, H-Net has a bunch of Latin American positions open, for instance.

An MA in history (or related) is still useful. There are certain jobs that like them, ranging from state jobs like the Park Service to the FBI and CIA.

But a PhD? Think loooooong and hard before investing that time and money. This is not a matter of *you* not being able to do the work to get one. It’s a matter of the university system as we’ve known it crumbling away under our very feet. I have no idea what the American university will look like in 10 years. And once you have a PhD, it educates you out of most other jobs.

So that’s the unfortunate bad news. And I’d be a very irresponsible advisor if I didn’t tell you the truth. IME, people who really want a PhD will ignore me and go after it anyway. But at least you’ll go in with your eyes open.

[gojaimas]

More Late Comment Replies

Hey people. I just watched Endgame, and since Thanos memes always remind me of my story because they kept coming up in the comments for some reason, I’ve decided to come back and reply to some more late comments. Here goes.

HorsemanOTA: “looks like you finished this earlier this year but i wish i would have come by it sooner, spent the past almost week binge reading this story and have loved every minute of it, i cant say im not disappointed that all three of them didn't end up in a poli-relationship, i was hoping it would have ended like that. The crutch thing i can understand but i feel like they had bonded way too much for it to end way, it hurt me that that was the out for her to be like i gotta squash it and let it be a pair instead of a trio. Got so invested in your version of Lucy lol. regardless i loved just about all of this fic so thank you for the read, hope this review reaches you well. Later Daze”

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it! I’m a little let down that I couldn’t have all three of them get together in the end, too. But I couldn’t just snap my fingers and make everything turn out alright in the end. I wanted to stay true to the story I was writing and it just didn’t fit for that to happen at that point.

J Master 87: “Holy shit. That was down right amazing. I absolutely loved this story, the interactions, the twists and turns. It was everything I could have asked for in a Ben 10 fic. Thank you for that”

You’re welcome! I only had a few real ‘twists’ I’d say, but I’m glad I managed to pull them off well enough for some people to enjoy.

Guest: “Lurking in the shadows huh? Batman, is that you? For being the world’s greatest detective you sure gave your identity away pretty easily”

CrimsonBolt1: “This is enjoyable so far. Reminds me of Little Moments in feel. Nice to see them finally starting to be open and honest with each other. I like your Lucy. Much better inclusion than a random OC.”

I didn’t want to make any OCs major characters in the story. Lucy ended up being a good fit for the role I needed. Also, for anyone who hasn’t seen, shadows59 just started a reboot of Little Moments, so go and check that out.

yuyuyre: “Why, this is my first ben10 fanfic and I'm glad. It's beautiful, truely. Thank you for writing this wonderful story.”

Thanks! There are lots more great Ben 10 fanfics out there if you’re interested, so I hope you find some others that you enjoy, too!

Hassan Elgarni1: “Nothing to do, so I re-read. Sigh. And shit, no more good fanfictions for ben10, plus the fandom seems like it's diying. What to do? We're lost without some drama in our life. No! I mean some dramatic stories to read about, and this one seems to always fit.”

Not to plug for it too much, but there’s that Little Moments reboot now...

Guest: “Can we get that Lucy ending or that afterstory as a Christmas present? We got a snow map in PubG, Fortnite season 7, MCU trailers with Avengers: Endgame, Blackout from CoD, GOTY awards, it’s such a shame RDR2 didn’t bag the prize but can’t really say God of War didn’t deserve it so an update would be the icing on the cake, unless you’re pre occupied with unwrapping presents. Also, can we have a Ben 10 battle royale mode too? Thanks”

Sorry I couldn’t get that Ben 10 battle royale out in time for Christmas. Also, I’m not working on a continuation for this story right now. I’m too busy trying to find time to work on my Legend of Zelda story.

Guest: “Me when gojaimas updates: Ayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayaya”

Guest: “According to the Bible we're all related, so we all share blood so it being forbade by Christianity makes no sense, also great story thanks for making my day less boring”

I don’t really get how I’m still getting comments about this one particular line in that chapter. I never said anything about what should or should not be forbade by Christianity. Lucy was simply trying to figure out Gwen’s reasons for being against incest, and she considered religious beliefs to be a possibility since, regardless of whether or not you think it makes sense, there are Christians out there who are against incest for religious reasons. Neither me, nor Lucy, nor Gwen said that should be the case. I hope that’s clear by now. Anyway, I’m glad I made your day less boring.

dippytrippy122: “Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Simply put this was the best romance-based fanfic I have ever read that wasn't just a humorous jab at the genre. You did so with a pairing I disliked due to its incestuous nature and actually made me enjoy it greatly. You also made sure that the ending wasn't perfect and I respect you immensely for that. Thank you for this wonderful story. :)”

Thanks! It’s always great to hear from people who enjoyed the story despite not liking the pairing. I think that means I did an okay job with recognizing the weirdness of it and not shying away from that.

xSean: “THATS WHERE YOU END IT?! Can't deny I'm a little annoyed with that but this fic was still great over all. The character development and interactions were absolutely superb. Wish there was more clueless, fluffy interactions but I guess they gotta grow up and realise what is happening at some point. Again great fic over all, one of the best I have read in a long time. Only the 2nd Ben 10 fic I've read too!”

Thank you! I’m sorry I couldn’t keep it going for another year or two, but I had to let it end before I ruined it, haha. The clueless, fluffy interactions were always a lot of fun, though. I loved that part of their relationship.

Samian: “Read through it in 2 days and some how I'm sad about that, the pace of your story should have made me slow down and push the ending further away. This was exactly the kind of development in their characters that I was looking for with in the Bwen fics. Beautifully done, really good job. That being said though there were some downsides, over the course of the story you took what made ben 10 what it is out of the story, which was a bit sad in my eyes. I do have to admit that you made it work though and I wouldn't change any of it. The ending is a bit of a letdown in the sense that there is a strong sense of anticipation of where it would have gone too. But again you some how made it work. You really did an incredible job.”

Thank you. I’m sorry to everyone who read this story expecting more alien fighting action, but even from my minimalistic description, “A story about how Ben and Gwen's relationship evolves over the next four years following their summer trip,” I think I made it clear that that simply wasn’t what the story was about. I’m happy you managed to enjoy it anyway!

Slayer of The Abyss: “I really liked how you gave the characters depth and Sense of being real people, the only thing that bothers me is how the thought process of different senteint species could be almost exactly the same, which isnt really your fault. But anyway i am looking forawrd to any potential fic you may write in the future”

Yeah, not much I could’ve done about that. If Lucy was too alien, she wouldn’t really have acted the way she did in the episode she appeared in.

MosquitoesLoveMe: “This story is adorable and you're a wizard at writing to make this happen! The fluff I've read till now has been heartwarming, I demand more fluff for the fluff gods!”

I, too, worship the fluff gods.

MosquitoesLoveMe: “Oh Lucy, you're about as subtle as a brick. Which says something about Ben and Gwen I suppose...“

Ben and Gwen: *oblivious to their love* Lucy:

MosquitoesLoveMe: “I am not sure how I feel about this. The lead up, the talk, and the execution was perfect mind you, and Ben's reaction is to be expected from how he's been portrayed. Maybe it's because we've seen Gwen struggle with her feelings and come to terms with them but we haven't had quite as many chapters from Ben's perspective. But because of that it kind of felt off. I didn't expect both of them to have sorted this out at the same time, but it doesn't even seem like Ben entertained that thought, leading to a blank face when confronted. Somehow I didn't expect that, or rather I expected more than that. Either way considering I'm reading this months after it's been completed, I shall have faith that you'll tie it up well, after all I haven't been disappointed thus far!”

It’s been a while, but I think around this point in the story, I was doing a lot less from Ben’s POV because I wanted the reader to be unsure about how Ben would react as much as Gwen was. As for whether or not Ben has entertained the idea, I’ve shown in the past that every time anything even close to resembling the idea pops into his head, he finds some way to dismiss it and bury it deeper because to him, his cousin was completely off-limits. It took Gwen confronting him with the idea directly to finally get him to truly consider it.

MosquitoesLoveMe: “It was a wonderful journey, thanks for writing this story! It was a pretty realistic end to the story and finished on a hopeful note, that leaves me wishing there was a sequel that goes into how Ben and Gwen handle the trials of their relationship and the adults finding out. That also made me really wish for a chapter from the perspective of Ben and Gwen's parents. Keeping with the trend of maintaining a realistic tone, it's hard to believe they did not at least suspect something was up, especially Natalie. It makes me really curious as to what went on in their heads during the last few chapters. Either way, whether or not you get back to this at a future date, I'm happy you wrote this story and glad I got to read it, cheers mate!”

Natalie was definitely getting suspicious. If I ever do continue the story, I probably will go more into what their parents are thinking. But that’ll be on the backburner for now. Thank you so much for reading my story! I’m happy you enjoyed it!

Well, that wasn’t all the comments, but that’s all I have time for right now. I’ll get to the rest eventually. Thanks again for everything! My fans are truly a joy to hear from.

[arkus-rhapsode]

My Hero Academia Chapter 209 Review

Well now, we’ve entered the home stretch of this arc. Going in to this last fight, I myself have a few jitters. Will this chapter cure that? Lets find out. 

So we open on team Bakugou at the end of their matches, finding out it only took five minutes. Wow, we know Vlad is the one announcing so that must just be a real salt in the wound for his class. Though, I think team Tokage is walking away with minimal injury and no robo medics showing them out, so I just that’s a win.

So we get the teacher advice and performance reviews and with what Vlad tells team Tokage, I feel as if I need to address this. So last week, I made my stance clear, I was fine with Bakugou winning. As Vlad is saying here, their strategy failed as it was built around a different Bakugu, and they ended up spreading themselves too thin. Now, I will say though, what the fourth round lacked, is any reflection from 1-b. Oh sure, there was Tokage in the sky panicking, but unlike the other matches, there really was a lack of seeing class 1-b react and try to roll with this, even if it would be futile.

I know, let sleeping dogs lie, but I honestly was getting miffed at the tone of last week being, either “Bakugou is so great, you under estimated him,” or “Bakugou is an ass, and Class 1-b shouldn’t have been hyped at all.” So I’d like to say that I’m taking a middle ground and just saying as a fight it was great for Bakugou in terms of character development, but ultimately as an actual clash, it was sorely one-sided.

Speaking of team Tokage, them at least are pretty good sports over their loss. Kaminari is also on the side to congratulate Bakugou and of course needing to remind the shippers of his and Jirou’s relationship. Also, I’m assuming what Sero is talking about is when he lifted up Bakugou with his tape.

We see All Might congratulate Bakugou and he of course decides to act like a serious tsundere and act like this is nothing. Even though we know how he feels about All Might and thus meaning, he’s likely a little giddy on the inside. Also props to the comedy with Deku, that Bakugou’s anger at this point is just reflex.

We get that relationship progression scene with Deku and Bakugou, and don’t get me wrong, from a character stand point this is good, but from an average reader stand point, it feels like I’m watching the scene from the training before the license exam. You know, the one where Bakugou wondered if Deku was still going to try and surpass him. Granted this version is in a different context as we know Bakugou is now the one playing catch up with Midoriya in terms of being a hero. I’m just pointing out that this slow progression relationship definitely feels like it’ll take a while longer.

We actually do get a page that’s mostly blank, and textless to obviously add emphasis of just how important this moment was and is allowing the audience to digest it. Now I’m not posting it mainly cause I don’t wanna take up more space than I need with these reviews. But I wanna definitely that this is very appreciated in terms of pacing, because you have series like One Piece that pack itself with so much content you actually need just to have a chapter long breather rather than just a short single page one. It just really makes me happy to see that MHA is at a point where it can do this well.

We cut to team Monoma who Tokage is apologizing to because with her loss there is no way they can win. To which I’m going to take this moment and say yeah, you can’t. Alright this is just a mini-rant I have, but I really hope this match doesn’t end with team Deku losing and the final score being 2-2. That would be such BS, as what this arc is basically built on is A vs B, someone has to win or else you basically wasted almost 20+ chapters on this arc and it was all pointless. Now some have said that if they tie, class 1-b will still be around and this will clearly show them as a force on their own, as this arc will have gotten their characterization out there so we don’t have to shove it into the moment.

The problem is though, that still doesn’t fix the arc of being pointless. Say what you will about the provisional license exam or the gentle arc, but at the end of the arc, there was a point to each of them that was established and fulfilled. The class got licensees and Eri was free of Overhaul’s influence. That’s what the arcs were about, that’s what we got. But if no one wins and no one loses, then this entire arc was a big waste of time. What is the point of a fight if there is no winner or loser? I think we give shit to the Grand Magic Games in FT a lot, but the point of the arc was to win and get the guild’s popularity back, which it followed through on, and Black Clovers tournament was really a  selection for the royal knights, which means that if the main character lost, there was still a pay off to it.

Now, if you go by saying that this arc isn’t about the fight and is more about Deku and Shinsou meeting and discovering what’s up with those visions of All for One’s brother talking to him, then this arc should’ve been altered. Because that would mean that only now are we doing what matters for the arc. There is basically no way to end this ultimately satisfyingly, because if team Deku does win, that ends this arc at 3-1, which makes class 1-a look like a group of jackasses who steam rolled class 1-b. But I’l take that over its a tie, I don’t wanna feel like I just wasted 3 months on this for just this fight.

Anyway, Monoma gives an impassioned speech that really shows a layer of his character that isn’t shown. While he’s often made a joke by his irrational hatred, Monoma is very much a theatrical man. Now I don’t mean that he’s flamboyant like Aoyama, rather he’s just a guy who sees the world a stage and is gonna bask in it. We saw this really early in the sports fest and a little bit with what he chose their culture fest project to be.

We end this monologue with Yanagi basically asking monoma what the point of this is, which means I already like her cause we’re actually getting some more characterization than we did with team Tokage.

We also get Shoda here, putting the pieces of their strategy togethe, telling us that their powers are techincal based. Likely meaning they aren’t directly combat based, but they all have skills that give them a lot of options.

Yanagi also speculates on Midoriya, calling him “hateful,” to which Shoda points out that Yanagi kinda speaks her own langue. Which is a cool trait that at first might seem like overlap with Shiozaki. However, when Shiozaki would act melodramatic it was out of religious vindication, Yanagi just has her own way of talking.

…Wait… What’s that? …Ahh, I’m getting word that a female character actually mentioned Deku’s name, thus she has been admitted into the Dekubowl.

We start more speculation on Midoriya and I think it’s coming from Shoda, showing that he’s clearly the analytical member of the team. Shinsou says that they need to beat down Midoriya first.

Now look, I actually really enjoy this as the way everyone is speaking of Deku and actually take him as a serious threat. Now I now there are some who have said, “team Deku should lose so that he develops from this.” To which I say, fuck off. Deku isn’t like someone like Natsu who basically could bamf his way through everything up to his fight with Gildarts, so when he lost it was a big deal. But Deku, dude loses like crazy and grows form it. Aside from the physical damage, the kid in the first few arcs barely got a win on his own, most of it was done with teamwork, with im learning for now he had to be the strategist. He didn’t finish at the top of the sports festival by Bakugou, he needed help against Stain, the first fight I think he won on his own was against Muscular, and let me remind you that destroyed both of his arms.

So I its only after 200 chapters, Deku is only now actually being treated as I’d expect a shounen protag to be treated, a massive threat. For the longest time his big quality was he had the heart of a hero, but that always ended with a shattered body. So he wasn’t really that powerful. And only now is is signs of progress really starting to affect other characters especially outside of class. So if Deku loses here, I’m gonna think that this wasn’t a big, “learn from loss character development moment,” I’m thinking it be a set back for him. Still team Deku could still lose if Mina, Mineta, or Uraraka get captured and as a whole they fail. Now there is a potential for Deku to fail, but I’ll talk about that in a little bit.

Also Shinsou asks Monoma that if they combine their quirks then they could pin down Deku. Now the images behind Monoma imply that potentially, Monoma would use copy on One for All and will end up destroying his body. Now That seems to be the implication, however there is the possibility that Monoma could also copy Shinsou’s quirk and then surprise everyone by answering him. But come on, we wanna see Monoma with one for all.

The teachers actually comment on Shinsou and wonder if he’ll pull through in this fight like he did the first round.

We cut to team Deku with everyone trying to figure out what their going to do, and unlike team Bakugou, they seems pretty downtrodden and realize that they don’t exactly have the same all-aroundness that team Bakugou had. However, instead of team Bakugou where Bakugou was the center of the team who protected and attacked, Deku is instead opting as a decoy, leet them focus on him, and then pick them off.

We also need to point out, they are laying it on thick with Deku’s quirk having some issues. If what ultimately screws up Deku is his quirk crapping out on him, then that’ll kinda fee like some narrative manipulation, but at the same time, one for all is such a strange quirk in this world, I wouldn’t doubt it could just screw up against Deku’s will. So we might have some flags going up with potential failure.

I love how even Mineta realized that Deku’s had character development up to this point. Anyway the match begins, but this isn’t the end of the chapter, oh no.

All Might needs to be excused after a call from Gran Torino.

We cut to the cell of All for One himself. He reminds us that Giantomachia has appeared. And unlike the league, this guy is loyal directly to him.

Welp, All for One knows about One for All and likely that vestige stuff. I mean,it’s not too much of a surprise at it came from All for One’s brother. Anyway, pants to be darkened.

Post Chapter Follow up: So I’m going to say, there’s nothing wrong with this chapter at all. Its a pretty standard breather chapter, but my greatest fears are more of what is to come than what has been actually in the chapter. Now I can’t condemn a chapter for not doing something that it isn’t time for, but as you can see the anxiousness is cranked up going into this.

On the positives, my personal favorite thing about this chapter is the character interaction in team Monoma. It’s something we sorely lacked from team Tokage, but now it feels like this making up for that. We see More to Monoma as a character individually, as well as Yanagi and Shoda really showing of what they’re like as characters. Nothing from Yui yet, but she could be like Bondo and that’s the point. As for class 1-A, this group of characters are pretty used to bouncing of eachother, so it’s nothing new. That said, I do enjoy the interactions regardless.

The continuing relationship of Bakugou and Deku is great and I’m glad Horikoshi is committed to the long run with this relationship. Also I’m just happy that we got some good pacing built around it without it feeling inconvenient.

Also appearance from All for One, which already makes this even better and furthers the Giantmachia plot,.

Final Verdict: 7/10

Good breather chapter

Awesome character interactions

Foreshadowing of future events are getting set

[awfully-sadistic]

{{ Book Talk: The Boy Who Sneaks in My Bedroom Window

This question on Goodreads sums up my thoughts.

I don’t know what to say about this book or why I started to read it. I just did when I was looking for The Raven Cycle ‘cause I have a ridiculous crush on a character I don’t even know yet. Ronan.

Anyway, this fucking book. I thought it was like, fanfiction at first. It is certainly written that way. There is such a huge overuse of “he smirked/smirks” and “she smirked/smirks” and other cliche phrases, I’m going to throw up. There’s also an over abundance of the main character, Amber Something, calling other girls whores and sluts and basically slut shaming them for dressing how they want to dress--FOR WHICH THERE IS NO DRESS CODE AT SCHOOL, I GUESS. One of the instances of Amber describing a girl’s skirt was that it fit like a belt or something. Another instance is her putting down other girls for being loose, for wanting to have sex with her brother and his best friend. For being bimbos and ho’s and having no self-respect because apparently this author wrote every fucking woman in her school like this. EVERY WOMAN AT AMBER’S SCHOOL (EXCEPT FOR AMBER) WAS A THIRSTY SLUT OR A BITCH OR A HO after her brother and his best friend’s junk. They literally threw themselves at them, were incredibly bold with their flirtations like touching and grabbing them all the time. Like, these ladies were written desperately thirsty, I felt bad for them. All because the author wanted to portray Amber in a more angelic light or what?

Speaking of, her main love interest gave her the nickname Angel.

Oh, by the way. She slut shames her main love interest, Liam James, too. I only know his goddamn name because everyone calls him by his fucking whole name, like constantly. Don’t get me wrong, I guess he’s some sort of man-whore because he openly flirts with these girls right back so I suppose if she’s going to be calling the women sluts and whores, I’m glad she also calls Liam out for acting the same way??? So does Amber’s brother, Jake, and he’s known to have slept around, etc, etc. Basically everyone but Amber is a big ol’ slut.

Don’t even get me started on how Amber decides to take part of this stupid ass bet to “nail” Liam because he announced he had a girlfriend and ALL THE OTHER GIRLS IN SCHOOL WANT HIM. His fucking pot was raised to 4,000 dollars or something outrageous like that. 20 bucks per girl. They put in 20 dollars EACH into the pot to see who can convince him to virtually cheat on his girlfriend. Which, at this point, is Amber. 4000 dollars. 20per girl. i suck at doing math but is that like 200 girls??? IS THAT RIGHT? DID I DO MY MATHR IGHT? 200 GIRLS ARE AFTER LIAM’S ASS.

I honestly don’t know where to start with this.

I mean, I can start with how it feels incredibly juvenile. Amateurish. Half-finished? There seems to be a lot of details missing in between scenes and the scenes themselves are short as fuck. The transitions are incredibly sloppy, one second Amber is in her bathroom and the next she’s in school.

Can I also note how her eight year old dialogue was incredibly strange. It felt like an older person was talking.

A few more points:

1) she doesn’t want to tell anyone they’re dating. she makes liam wait like 2 weeks to break the news to her overprotective big brother (by two years because they’re both 18 and she’s 16).

2) her best friend magically finds this out because i guess she just does. and all of a sudden she went from thirsty ass bff to supportive ass bff and stops trying to nail Liam AND jake. wait no, she’s still trying to fuck amber’s brother.

3) she’s somehow emo. idk. she wears dark clothing and all the other “sluts” at school call her emo. and how liam will never be into her.

4) liam went from biggest fucking vagina humper to absolutely cult-like dedicated to amber like as soon as they shared their first kiss. i guess that’s sort of sweet if he weren’t a total fuckboy. he said he had been in love with her since he was six??? (which was make her 4 or something) and only slept around with all those women because he figured he’d just fall in love with someone else. he couldn’t have a chance with her because her brother forbid it.

5) brother eventually finds out and comes around like in a manner of minutes. found out because liam and amber have some sort of special technique he uses whenever amber has some sort of anxiety attack about her dad.

6) SPEAKING OF, HER DAD ALMOST RAPED HER when she was like 13.. or idk. something like that. sundays were usually reserved for “special” times when he’d touch her or whatever. basically dad is an abusive assfuck. jake and liam came home early from some kind of hockey game, saw the scene and apparently beat the shit out of the dad.

7) dont even know the extent of how far she was molested because she never fucking talked about it. im opting to believe it was that one instance and she was just milking it. idk. 

8) for as much as she went around in the first few chapters of the book saying how much she hated liam, how much she called him a man-slut, etc etc and being mean to him because oh he annoys her sooo much, he’s sooo mean, etc etc, she’s absolutely in love with him even though she’s finding reasons ...not to be. thinking he might cheat on her, get fed up with amber wanting to wait because she’s not letting him have sex yet. mainly because no one else but her mom, jake, and liam can touch her, ever, without her freaking out about it. but in the span of these few chapters ive read, two strangers have kissed her twice now. 

8a) first time, liam had to save her because she was drunk and blah blah blah. second time, she was openly flirting with a guy who was all, “i bet if i kiss you i can change your mind about wanting to go out with me” and she was all “i bet you 20 bucks you can’t and also i will kick you in the balls if you try” and what the fuck happened? he kissed her. she kicked him in the balls. liam’s like “that’s my girl” as the dude comes back limping into the room and hands her a 20.

9) “I’d wanted her for so long that I was a little worried that if I ever did get her, that she would never be able to live up to what I had imagined.“ CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT THIS MEANS because to me, Liam saying this about Amber makes me feel like this can almost be an insult lmfao.

10) AND THIS IS THE SEX SCENE, FINALLY BTW:

“You are so beautiful, Angel,” I whispered. She smiled and gripped her hand around the back of my head, guiding my mouth back to hers. I felt my heart swell as I kissed her passionately, showing her just how much I loved and cherished her before I prepared myself to make love to her for the first time.

I smoothed her hair away from her sweaty forehead. She was grinning at me and looked so happy it made my heart skip a beat. “I love you, Angel.” We laid there trying to slow our heart beats. I pressed my face into the crook of her neck kissing her, feeling her rapid pulse under my lips. I felt happier than I had ever felt in my life. After a minute or so, I pulled out of her and rolled to my side. I tightened my arms on her, pulling her close to me, trailing my fingers over her naked, sweaty body, lingering on her breasts. “I’m sorry I hurt you,” I said quietly. I felt awful that I was the one to have to cause her pain, but I guess every girl had to go through that the first time.

Did this author really write “after a minute or so”? I was like, where’s the penetration? I had NO idea they were fucking until he pulled out... A MINUTE LATER.

11) everyone must be a goddamn cat or something because there’s a lot of seductive purring. and I ran into this hilarious count in a review:

Wink count: 48 Purr count: 37 Smirk count: 74 Flirt count: 38 Ass count: 91 (this one was the most annoying...everyone calls each other "hot ass" "sexy ass" "fine ass" nonstop throughout the entire book)

there is plenty more i can say about this train wreck but i think, above all, i was just... surprised it was like... PEOPLE LIKED THIS?? it even had this little thing at the end of the summary:

The international bestselling novel, and finalist of the Goodreads choice awards YA fiction 2012.

like... what... how can people pump out novels like 50 Shades and this mess and I can’t fucking finish a chaptered story? some of the answers answering that question i had tacked on above surprised me too. people were calling it “realistic” -- i had to roll my eyes. there has been no realistic part of this story since i started reading it. 

if it were, vampires would exist and they’d sparkle in the goddamn sunlight. frankly, we’d all have our Christian Grey by now, too.

and every time he called her Angel, i just imagined this:

thank you and goodnight.

[marshaeb]

P.S: I'm Mated With The Cursed Alpha!

Chapter Four

Hey guy! Don’t forget to Like, Comment, Review, and Follow for more updates! My apologies in advance for all the grammatical errors. Book will be professionally edited when completed.

The screams of horror rose to the roof as a flock of rogues suddenly emerged onto the scene.

As the enormous black wolf came charging my way, everything around me ceased to exist. The only thing in my view was the vicious beast, rapidly heading towards me with his large, dangerously sharp teeth bearing at me.

My mind was screaming at me, telling me to run, but my legs remained fastened to the ground. Like a deer caught in headlights, I was too traumatized to move.

“Joel!” Someone screamed at me from the raging chaos.

Just when I had thought something terrible had happened to her, I quickly snapped to my senses.

That gowling scream I had bottled up inside me was unleashed within an instant. I screamed with fear and terror to the top of my lungs.

Sarah collides against me hard, pushing me out of the way from the oncoming monster just in time. The beast lost control, gliding and crashing its huge body against the bar.

“S-Sarah!” I called her name, choking up with fear as a streak of blood drained down her forehead. “SARAH!”

She blinked open her eyes, trying to regain her strength from the hard fall.

“Jo’! She pitched up suddenly, grasping her aching head. In and out she breathed harshly as I crunch down to help her up.

“S-Sarah! What’s happening?” I panicked.

“T-they’re... Rogues!” She grunted in pain. “I knew we shouldn’t have to come! We have to get out of here, Joel! NOW!”

I wrapped her arm around my shoulders, giving her support as we made our way through the crowd.

" T-the car keys...” Sarah grunted, holding her head as we made it safely to the car. “Do you have the car keys?

“Y-yes, I—

I paused mid-sentence, staring at my hand holding Sarah’s pouch, but her car keys were nowhere present.

“Oh my goodness!” I whimpered sharply, looking everywhere around my feet. “Where is it? Where the hell is it?”

“Oh no! Did you lose it?” She asked, resting faintly against the car door.

A loud, deep growl rippled from the tavern throughout the parking lot. Its sound was filled with terror.

I could feel my heart speeding up. My mouth starting to dry up as I breathe in the drafty air, re-tracing my steps to find the car keys... I could find it anywhere.

My mind was racing with fearful thoughts of the huge monster coming after me again. Those long, sharp, fangs tearing me apart, limb by limb. Those eyes...those terrorizing sinister gold eyes. I’ve never in my life seen a werewolf-like him ever. But why on earth did he charge after me?

I’ve spotted it. Shimmering in the grass just a foot away from me. I clenched my fist and took a deep breath and dashed as fast as my feet can take me, snatching up the car keys in my hand. When I turned around, my shoe slipped off my feet and fell hard on my injured arm.

I groaned and whimpered in agony, feeling the sore pain jotting through my body. “Oww!” I said through clenched teeth.

Slowly I turned over and lift my aching body off the ground, looking ahead of me.

There he was...standing at the entrance of the tavern, back in his human form with his eyes fixed on me. His nostrils flared open as his breath vaporized in the chilly air with every harsh huff he took.

My heart stopped as I watched his sharp jaw, clenched intensely. His stare alone could keep anyone in his hold. Though they were dark and terrorizing, there was something mysterious and surprisingly soft about them.

He took another stance and gradually lowered himself back on all fours.

I snapped out of his hold and ran for dear life, not caring if I was in agonizing pain. Getting far away from him was the only thing on my mind.

When I finally made it back to the car, Sarah was already sitting in the driver’s seat with all the car glasses broken through.

Claw marks were over her shoulder blade and arms. Her blouse was torn through, stained with blood.

“S-Sarah!” I gasped, opening her door. “What...what happened to you?”

“A rogue...attacked me—

I watched as she coughed weakly, groaning in pain.

“Rogues...their marks are infectious...” I said recalling the notes I’ve written in my nursing course about them. “We’ve got to get home fast before the infection spreads!”

Though being in pain as well, I couldn’t imagine what she was going through.

“Look Sarah, we have to get out of here!” I said looking around me.

I didn’t understand it...out of everyone here, why was he after me? Why?

Just thinking about it was driving me insane. Taunting me every second that goes by.

“Go over... I’ll drive!” I breathed sharply.

After she struggled to move her weak body over to the passenger side, I heard a tig snapped behind me.

A rush a fear came over me as I slowly looked over my shoulder.

There his massive, black wolf stood tall with its eyes fixed on the only thing in his path... Me.

Quickly, I leaped inside the car, panicking as I fought to stick the key into the ignition.

“Hurry Jo’!” Sarah cried, shaking in her seat. “It’s going to kill us!”

When I finally managed to get the key in the ignition, I start up the car and shift the gear into drive.

With my feet heavy on the gas pedal, I drifted out of the parking lot onto the main road.

Not looking back, I stared out at the empty highway ahead of us, zooming past the tall pine trees.

Making at least 80 miles per hour, trying to get us away as fast as I can, mentally, I felt as if we weren’t moving anywhere.

The cool wind gushed in my face, making my mouth even more dryer than it already was. I glanced at Sarah, hearing her breathe in and out heavily.

“Joel?” She panted, holding her hand gently over her pulsing wounds. “Are we there yet?”

“Don’t worry, I’m getting us there as fast as I can.

“H-how far... are we?” She asked.

“I’m going as fast as I can... I know it hurts. Just a few more minutes.” I choked trying to keep my composure when suddenly my mind went to mom.

I sighed aloud, biting my bottom lip anxiously. This would definitely make her look down at me. All I ever do is cause trouble. I couldn’t bear to see the scornful, disappointing look on her face. It’s one thing getting in harm’s way, but to see a friend suffer from what I’ve caused is devasting.

It’s always me bringing shame on the family’s name. What makes it even worse, I’m not even their biological daughter! The least I could do is be unproblematic, and grateful that I have a family who goes out of their way to care for my well being.

I couldn’t help the tears from falling, thinking about all the trouble I had caused.

“Sarah... I’m so sorry.” I cried, squeezing my hand tightly around the steering wheel. “I should listen to you and let us leave when we had the chance.”

She sighed deeply, closing and opening her eyes for a moment.

“It’s ok Joel... really!” She said.

“No, it’s not!” I shouted a bit too harshly than I suppose to. “I confess!”

“Confess?” She said confusedly.

“Yes!” I replied, trying to hold back more tears.

“The only reason I said we should still go to the stupid party was that I wanted to see Jackson...” I whimpered, feeling more guiltier as I confessed. “This whole week he’s been so busy. I-I was looking forward to at least seeing him out there.”

Still, in so much pain, I could tell she was upset and slightly irritated at my confession.

“Really Jo’?” She said. “A-all you had to do...was ask me if—

“I know, I know,” I shook my head, not wanting her to make a fuss out of all this.

“No, you don’t!” She insisted that I finish listening to what she’s trying to say. “When since have we started keeping things from each other, Jo’?”

“Sarah I—

“Let me finish!” She said in a more serious tone. “If you want to know something?... Fine! Yes, I was kinda hurt that you didn’t tell me about your first time... I thought that’s what best friends do. Tell each other everything!”

My cheeks were hurting by how hard I was trying to hold back my emotions. Sarah was right. From little kids, we promise that we would tell each other everything. Now here I am not only being a disappointment of a daughter, but I’m also a friend who went back on my promise.

“Sarah... I’m sorry!” I huffed, wiping away my salty tears with the back of my hand. “I-I promise I’ll make it up to you!”

She sighed softly, and like always with a forgiving heart, she accepted my apology.

“It’s ok, really...” She cleared her throat. “All that matters right now is getting away from those rogues and that gigantic wolf.“Why is it after us?” She asked, but I was just as clueless as she was...

Suddenly, it came to me. I finally started to put it all together.

“It’s after me,” I said.

“It’s after you?” She gasped. “Why?—How?”

“I should have seen this coming. Everything Mom was doing was to protect us from things like this.” I said.

“What do you mean?” She asked. “Do you think it’s because you’re the daughter of a well-known Alpha?”

“Yes!” I swallowed, looking through the forest trees as we sped by. “Ever since he laid eyes on me, he looked as he knew who I was. His stare was so intense.”

Sarah paused for a moment, puzzled and weary her countenance had become after hearing what I said. Then, her eyes suddenly widened.

“Joel...you don’t think, there’s a possibility—

“What?” I asked.

“Maybe he’s your m—

The car engine suddenly shut off. I floored and floored the gas pedal over and over, but the car refused to speed up.

Sarah began taking deep breaths.

“W-what...what happened?” She panicked.

Trembling with fear, I looked at the empty gas range and instantly my heart started ramming against my chest.

“No! No! Come on!” I cried, turning the key in the ignition repeatedly, but it only gave us a few hopeless cranked, refusing to turn on. “Damn! We’re on empty!” I said, taking shaky breaths.

We both began to panic, realizing we’re stuck on an empty road surrounded by a dark forest with a pack of rogues and a monstrous wolf on our trail.

“Jo’!” She blurted out with fear in her voice, “What are we going to do!!!

A loud howl came traveling through the spooky woods in the distance. They sounded even closer than we thought.

“Sarah, we have to run!” I cried.

“What!” She said in an unsure tone.

“Yes! It’s either we run now and make it on the pack’s territorial grounds in time or stay here trying to start up the car and get ambush.”

Without having second thoughts, we ran out of the car and shift into our wolf. I always envied Sarah’s wolf’s dark chocolate fur. Mines is just a plain, light, chalky brown color. I hated everything about it.

“Sarah!” I said through mind link when the sounds of growls and ruffled bushes caught us off guard behind us.

“Our border’s right ahead. Once we cross, they can’t harm us!”

We took off into the woods. We sprinted as fast as we can across the wet forest floor as the cool breeze swept our fur. The rogues were right on us.

Finally, we came in view of the pack’s borders only a few feet away. But though we were getting close, he was much bigger, faster, and even more determined to get what he wanted.

We shifted back into human form. Thin layers of sweat and splattered mud covered our bodies as we tried to catch our breath.

Tired and aching with pain, we stared at the wooden, six feet border.

“We have to climb over!” I said as Sarah faintly collapsed against it.

“I can’t, Jo’!” She groaned, holding her wounded shoulder.

“No! No! NO, Sarah!” I cried, helping her to her feet. “Climb up, hurry! They’re coming!” I squealed, watching as their shadowy figures came closer and closer!”

I clutched my arms around her legs and push her up with all the strength I had left. One of my stitches popped and I watched as blood started to drain down my arm. She finally reached the top and crossed over.

“Guards! Guards!” Sarah shouted aloud to the nearby guards. “Come on, Joel!” She panted, with on-hand reaching over for me and the other grasping her wound. “Hurry, grab my hand!”

As I hurry to climb, I slipped on an algae-covered log and fell back, landing hard on my bottom.

“JOEL!” She cried as the guards made their way over.

I crawled back over on territorial grounds just in time as the flock of rogues, all different colors and sizes, gathered me, growling viciously. Though they were so eager to attack, they couldn’t, because I was safe on my rightful territory.

I trembled in fear as they bear their sharp teeth at me. Sarah cried aloud, clutching her arms around me through the border.

“Don’t worry, Sarah!” I gasped, trying to calm her down. “They won’t harm me... I-I’m on our grounds.”

Slowly and carefully, I took my time and made my way up without slipping out of bounds. Suddenly his wolf leaped out of nowhere, raging in fury.

The rogues quickly moved out of his path as he shifted back into his human form and stalked my way.

His intense, blazing, green eyes were fastened on me as he strutted closer. They were like flaming darts, piercing through my soul. His muscles were swollen, covered with a thin coat of sweat, glazing in the moonlight with his long straight hair was plastered over his neck and shoulders.

Just like the others, I knew he won’t harm me now, knowing he would be trespassing onto territorial grounds, but boy was I wrong.

He made his way over, not giving a damn if he was on territorial grounds or not, and launch up after me. But I managed to land safely over in time before he could hold me captive.

“Joel!” Sarah cried, embracing my trembling body tightly.

I turned around and stared up at him as he took harsh, deep breaths. His clenched jaw was twitching uncontrollably. Frustration and defeat were smeared over his face as he stared silently down at me through hooded eyes. The tension was so thick between us, we could have cut it with a knife.

Still overly petrified, feeling my heart about to leave my chest, I was so lucky and relieved I got away on time.

I don’t know why I did it, but the smallest smirk gradually crept on my face as I took deep breaths to calm myself. That alone set him off. He widened his eyes and flared his nostril in rage. My little smirk faded away instantly as he growled deeply, bucking his taut chest against the border towards me.

As the guards came closer, that was when I made the wrongest mistake ever. One wrong move, I turned around and stumble back slightly. He reached his muscular arm through the log, locking his large hand firmly onto my puff of hair.

“Joel!” Sarah screeched.

My lips parted, but I couldn’t make a sound. I was too in shock that I had let my guard down so carelessly. His grip tightened and I whimpered, squeezing one eye close feeling the slight pain.

“LET HER GO!” Sarah shouted, clawing his hand, but he reached out his other arm and slapped her hand away.

“Step away, or I’ll snap your freaking neck!” He growled threateningly at her. “And you...” He said, pulling me closer to the border towards him.

I quivered hearing his deep, raspy Alpha voice for the first time. It was deeper and more boisterous than any male wolf I know.

He took a deep sniff of my scent and groan loudly, sending chills through my body. “I thought I saw a smirk a few seconds ago... Where is it now, little girly.” He said in a menacingly low voice.

When I didn’t answer, he tightened his grip on my hair and growled.

“That wasn’t a mistake you made letting your guard down...it was destined to happen!” He said slowly. “You can’t escape what was meant to be.”

“L-let me go!” I manage to muttered, grasping my much smaller hand over his grip. “P-plea-se...”

He let out an empty chuckle and coldly replied, “You can’t be talking to me.”

I whimpered, feeling the tears starting to build up in my eyes, streaming down my face.

“I’ve been waiting too long for this...” He said intensely. “Seven years... too long!”

Read Chapter Five (Click the link below)

[edwad]

If you had to choose 10 marxian econ books for someone who has only read marx, what would you recommend

by “marx” i have to assume you mean capital because that really is the root of “marxian econ”. it won’t suffice to just have read the manifesto or something like that and i don’t want to recommend books that will be saying things that you’re totally unfamiliar with because you’re skipping straight into the secondary literature which already largely assumes a reader which is familiar with capital. anyway, heres a list, which isnt in any particular order and which includes a few things that i’m still working through for myself:

1. essays on marxs theory of value - isaak rubin 

hugely important book which essentially all value-form theory derives from. written by an extremely knowledgeable marx scholar who had a much better idea of what marx was doing in capital than most marxists today. last month brill published a book called “responses to marxs capital” which includes some of rubin’s other writings, most of them being published in english for the first time. hes a huge figure in the literature and definitely worth looking in to. 

2. marx, capital, and the madness of economic reason - david harvey

i was obviously going to put something of harvey’s in here and i think his last book is a fairly good summary of the best of what hes done up to this point with some welcome additions (the visualization of capital, the stuff on anti-value, etc). not perfect but he definitely provides a good framework for how to understand the geography of capital which doesnt require necessarily agreeing with him on everything. honestly, if you keep up with harvey at all you’ll be able to tell that its mostly just typical harveyisms with the inclusion of some stuff from his recent talks (which have all been almost exactly the same). 

3. in the long run we are all dead - geoff mann

maybe this looks more like a book on keynesian rather than marxian econ, but its real argument is that keynesianism as a long historical project (meaning long before and after keynes himself) has been an immanent critique of liberalism and revolution and that keynes is to us what hegel was to marx. a really great book that covers a lot of ground which isnt always explicitly economic, but definitely worth the read if you have the patience. if you want a longer review, i left a pretty lengthy one on amazon a few months ago where you can get a better idea of what i got from this book, what its limitations are, and why i think its so important. 

4. monopoly capital - paul baran & paul sweezy 

an older book which hasnt exactly aged well, but its thesis has become extremely popular again since the crisis. written by baran and sweezy, the fathers of “the monthly review school” of economics, its played a huge role in the direction of marxian debates from the 1960s up until today. the authors were both tending in the same intellectual direction in their earlier works (sweezy’s theory of capitalist development and baran’s political economy of growth, the former still being considered one of the best introductions to marxs work and its relevance to the 20th century, with much controversy of course) and this was the result of them coming together to talk about what they saw as a monopoly capitalism which was fairly different in character than the “competitive capitalism” of marx’s day and therefore had to be dealt with differently. 

5. capitalism - anwar shaikh

probably the most ambitious work the left has seen in a long time which tries to thoroughly critique neoclassical theory and develop an alternative economics which is rooted in what shaikh calls the “classical” school (”classical-marxian” would probably be more appropriate but i think hes trying to downplay his reliance on marx). in it, shaikh takes a good look at many of the competing schools of thought (neoclassical, post-keynesian, sraffian/neo-ricardian, etc) and sees how they stand up analytically and empirically, taking issue with their underlying assumptions and the inevitable problems which arise from building a theory on false foundations. 

one of his bigger points is that the neoclassical theory of “perfect competition” is nonsensical but wasnt thoroughly combatted by heterodox economists, who only made it so far as asserting the “imperfect” nature of competition, which, in shaikh’s eyes, is to simply add imperfections after the fact into the theory which necessarily begins with the absurd assumption of perfection. the book’s argument is that the theorists of “imperfect competition” still rely on the theory of “perfect competition” as their starting point and never really manage to escape the latter because they havent actually created an alternative way of thinking about competition, they’ve just inserted a complication into a theory which was a completely unrealistic assumption to begin with. much of his attack is directed at the monthly review school and the idea of a “monopoly capitalism” which is supposedly different in form than the allegedly “perfect competition” of capitalism during marxs life. in this sense, this book serves as a counterbalance to the MR approach and is also probably the most successful attempt at situating marxs TRPF within an empirical study of kondratiev waves. 

hes also got a website with a bunch of resources and a lecture series from a course he did on the material in the book which is pretty interesting, but it assumes a good deal of familiarity with economics. 

6. a history of marxian economics - michael howard & john king (2 volumes)

this is a pretty thorough history of the internal debates among marxian economists ever since the death of marx all the way up to 1990. it covers a lot of ground and doesnt shy away from controversies where marx didnt come out on top. of course, a good amount of this is subject to the interpretation of the authors and they definitely have a great deal of input, but its a very impressive work which i frequently use as a marxian encyclopedia of sorts. 

7. the making of marx’s capital - roman rosdolsky

despite some problems, rosdolsky’s classic book on the development of marx’s critique of political economy is easily one of the most important marxological works ever written and it still holds a lot of sway. taking the grundrisse as its starting point, the author unpacks marx’s project and constantly asserts marx’s method and in particular his explicit reliance on hegel’s logic, pitting marx (as he was in his drafts) against the then contemporary thinkers and critics which were prone to misusing or misunderstanding the arguments in capital. as a disclaimer and partial criticism of rosdolsky’s portrait of marx, i dont believe that we can simply say that marx in the late 50s was identical to the marx of the 60s and 70s that wrote and published capital, but i also dont think that means we necessarily have to discount the grundrisse (or theories of surplus value, etc) simply because they werent written at precisely the right time for marxs thinking. 

i only just got my own copy a couple of weeks ago so i cant say too much more but i have skimmed through chunks of the pdf and its totally unavoidable in the secondary literature so im not totally unfamiliar. its one i plan on tackling in full very soon.

8. moneybags must be so lucky - robert paul wolff

another marxological one, this tiny book is a literary analysis of capital and in particular the first part of volume 1. wolff does a great job of deconstructing the arguments in chapter 1 to try and clarify what marx is doing and why with a lot of humor and philosophical tangents. one of his biggest points is that marxs heavy reliance on irony was the only adequate way of capturing the contradictory nature of capitalism and is therefore part of the theory itself, rather than simply being a way to dress up the theory and make it more palatable to readers. i approached this book after id already “read marx” too, but it was extremely useful because it wasnt until i read it that i finally started to actually understand marx. for that reason, i dont feel particularly bad about recommending it to anyone thats already familiar with capital because it does a great job of making the most difficult part of volume 1 infinitely more exciting and comprehensible – especially since its never enough to just read capital once. 

9. the production of commodities by means of commodities - piero sraffa

against my better judgement, i’m putting this on the list knowing full-well that i’m going to be harassed by an anon which has been on my ass for about a year now ever since i first recommended sraffa’s book in a reading list despite the fact that ive never finished it (barely even read it to be more precise). i do, however, know that its had a huge influence on the trajectory of marxian thought since 1960 and that many of the thinkers are still trying to recover from the theoretical displacement implicit in sraffa’s thesis. 

its a math-heavy book (which is why i havent been able to wade through it) and its status as a work coming from the “marxian” approach is hotly contested, but its certainly had its way with the marxian school (not to mention the neoclassical school, which has an easier time simply ignoring sraffa entirely), generating countless debates among scholars, many of whom simply wish that this book had never been written. for a short summary of the debate and whats apparently at stake, ive got an old post where i worked out some of the initial responses to sraffa and how this has snowballed into the controversy that it is today. ive got it on this list because of how unavoidable it is. you cant go into the secondary literature at anything resembling an intermediate level without knowing sraffa’s name and why everyone feels so strongly about him.

10. an introduction to the three volumes of karl marxs capital - michael heinrich

i dont quite like that im ending this list with a book that presents itself as an “introduction” when we’ve already established that this is a bunch of recommendations for someone thats already acquainted with capital, but sadly this is the only full-length book that heinrich has in the english language and its reading of capital is so unorthodox that it feels totally alien against all the traditional interpretations of marx. honestly, it doesnt feel like an introduction in the first place, reading more like a challenge and an intervention into the secondary debates about what marx is saying in capital which derives from the german debates which constitute the parameters for the “neue marx-lekture”, or “the new reading of marx”, which sits uncomfortably among the more typical marxisms that surround it on all sides, especially among non-german theorists/readers. 

as far as the dominant reading of marx goes, nearly everything this book says betrays marx’s project, but heinrich knows marx very well, better than most of us (as even his biggest critics readily admit). this may be considered reflective of a “new reading”, but that doesnt mean the old ones are any better or that this one is necessarily a “revisionist” project as many claim (or at least, i wouldnt consider it to be revising marx even if its guilty of revising “marxism”, which is by no means necessarily a bad thing). on the contrary, i think heinrich has the best understanding of marx out of pretty much everyone else right now and thats why i wanted to end with this one. yes, you should read all of the others, especially since you cant understand the way we read and think about marx without coming across the work of people like sraffa and sweezy, but that doesnt really change the fact that heinrich points to a big problem with the way we read and think about marx, that the debates have been getting it wrong all along and largely misunderstanding marxs actual project, miscontextualizing it and falling into dogmatism for various political or academic reasons. 

what heinrich does is to show how the way marx is read and interpreted often misses or downplays the most crucial elements of what marx is actually trying to get across. marxs critique of political economy simply gets converted into a newer, more correct political economy which simply builds on the classical school (shaikh), or it suffers in the hands of those that believe its foundations need to be updated as if it isnt all that relevant anymore (sweezy and baran), or that many of its categories are lacking utility and can simply be done away with (sraffa). rubin’s work plays a big part in establishing the NML reading and harvey draws on heinrich’s scholarship a lot, but nobody really does it as well as heinrich himself and i genuinely think hes lightyears ahead of everyone else. a lot of people are starting to agree and i was one of the most recent converts on the heinrich hype train which has been growing for the last couple of years. 

any day now, we should be getting one of his older books, the science of value, in english and i plan on devouring it as fast as i can, but sadly its been in limbo for several years, with its initial release scheduled for 2014 (if i remember correctly). in the mean time though, we’ve only got his introduction to capital and a bunch of shorter pieces/videos.  

so i guess thats my list of 10 things to read after marx with some explanations on why i think theyre important, culminating in ideologically correct heinrich-worship. this was sorta fun and if you have any other questions feel free to ask. 

[just-another-winchester]

My Supernatural Origin Story!

I know it’s getting close to the time where everyone goes to bed, so I wanna send you all goodnight messages in thanks.

I had no clue when I started watching Supernatural that I would meet so many wonderful people. I want to explain to you what happened, if you are interested, read on! If no, then that’s fine, there are thanks beneath the cut as well.

I will honestly be amazed if you guys don’t get bored reading this.

I am a strong advocate of sharing the love. And that is something I haven’t come in contact with a lot.

My family is not physically loving people, I am a person who enjoys physical love. And no, I do not mean sex, I mean hugs, cuddles, kisses. Stuff like that, and my family, they don’t do that, especially now that I am an adult, they think I shouldn’t need it.

I got my first job when I was 17. I was hired as a Crew Member at McDonalds. I worked from 11 am to 4 pm most days, the only day I always had off was Sunday.

I loved my job, I got along well with my co workers mostly, and the customers were generally not that bad. I was very new to the world since I had been home schooled most of my life, so I generally had a positive opinion of everything, even when I dealt with a rude or mean customer, I shrugged it off and thought, ‘oh well’

When winter came around I switched my hours to full time because I wasn’t willing to walk in the cold.I worked 6 am to 2 pm. I slowly became more and more exhausted, less willing to do things. Before I knew it winter was over, but I liked my paycheck, so I kept the hours.

The job and the people slowly began to weigh me down, I was always exhausted, and I didn’t want to do anything.

Finally, in March of 2016, my grandmother passed away while I was at work. I have never experienced a worse feeling than when my brother, who was working there as well at the time, came up to me and told me that my grandmother was gone.

My grandma was my rock, she was my happy place, when I went to her house, all was well with the world, I was allowed to be a child, I goofed off and had fun. It was grandma’s house, but it was home.

When she passed, that was when my world came crashing down. Anxiety and depression set it, something I had never dealt with before. I was always a cheerful kid, while my brother and cousins had a song that my grandma would sing to them, I had my own special song, You Are My Sunshine, because I was always happy.

After I lost her, that song was a bitter reminder of what I wasn’t anymore.

I finally ended up leaving the job on good terms after a panic attack. My GM had anxiety issues as well so she was very kind and understanding.

I began looking for a job after a few months, and it was a struggle to find one, no one was hiring, but I couldn’t go back to McDonalds. It was just too much stress, I needed to ease into something, not go back to what caused a lot of problems in the first place.

Finally, I came to a book bindary that had employed my older brother over the summer for the past three years as summer help for college kids.

I wasn’t in college, but I was hired on full time as a processor. Ya know the stickers, bar codes and such you see on library books? That’s what I did. Seems easy right? It was, for the most part.

The problem was speed. We had a quota, and for me, someone who needs to take her time otherwise I’ll screw up everything, that was problematic.

Is was here though, that I found friends. Good friends. I had my first ever girls night out with a couple of the women from this job.

This was the start of Supernatural for me.

I saw one of my coworkers wearing a shirt with the words Carry On My Wayward Son, and a sillhouette of Sam and Dean. I didn’t know about Kansas, but I had heard the song before, so I asked if that was the band.

Then, low and behold, the community gathered around! Okay, so it was only three people at the time. But it still counts!

They said it was a shirt for this show called Supernatural. I’ve always been interested in creepy sorts of stuff, so I asked what it was about.

After it was explained to me, I decided it sounded interesting. I was curious, and wanted to know more. 

I had been in the middle of watching Prison Break, and decided when I was finished with that, Supernatural was next on my list, because I was needing something to watch anyway.

A couple weeks later, I was fired. Unfairly by my opinion, and the opinion of all of my co workers.

They all found it unfair, my co worker Teresa, she trained me, she had told me for a fact that I was not the slowest person there, and the problem was, I was fired because they said I was just too slow.

I had been happy while at this job. But when I was fired, the depression set back in, I was sad, and discouraged.

Then I remembered Supernatural. I decided, I had plenty of free time, let’s check it out!!

I looked up a trailer for the first season, and... I loved it. I don’t remember my original thoughts or feelings exactly, I just thought it looked interesting. So I said Yes to the dress!

I found the first episode, and watched it, and before I knew it the seasons were flying by.

I’m a lot like Sam, but I’m more of a Dean girl, because there is nothing I love more than a big brother. Dean’s entire personality made me wanna cling to him.

I cried, I laughed, I got angry, I got happy. The show was my solace in a way, it made me happy, it made me forget the crap that was happening.

I had already been on a writing site, and as I was finishing the first season, I decided I wanted to roleplay. I created a character, that I, to this day, am very proud of. Her name was Hali.

Through this character I got out all my feelings, all my bad negative thoughts and emotions. I worked them through her, I became Hali when I was alone, I turned myself into her and used her to work my way through my struggles, through my hurt.

My first encounter with a member of the supernatural family was @blue-heaven-winchestergirl83. I roleplayed with her where my character was Hali, and hers was a nephilim named Kass, who was easily incredible.

I rped through the rest of my time watching, right up until the season 13 premiere, and I loved it. Carmine was and is my friend. She guided me through the beginning of my love of Supernatural.

There wasn’t too much love for the show there however. I wanted to read more! Especially, Dean smut. Cause I mean... come on, this guy.

And so, I searched on google for some links to fanfiction, it always led me to tumblr when I was interested in 5sos or 1d fics, but I had never been interested in tumblr, it was just... confusing to me. I didn’t understand it, and I am not fond of new things.

Finally, I read through all of @theinsandoutsofcastiel masterlist. OH MY GOD I loved it all, so I finally decided to start using it.

I had already created a tumblr previously, but hardly used it because I wasn’t much into what I had created it for.

I logged on, and we were in business.

I wrote a fic, that was honestly so many kinds of bad that I am probably going to end up taking it down and rewriting it. But with that, spawned something.

The first memorable encounter I had was with @impala-dreamer, I started following her cause I liked that she said Castiel was her patronous, I thought she was funny. Then I got through her masterlist and I decided she was also pretty damn cool.

I loved her and her work, so, one day I sent an ask, wondering if she would review one of my fics, and she did, and it gave me hope.

She helped me through a lot of things, she was patient with me, and kind to me. Even though I know I annoyed the crap out of her, because I annoy the crap out of myself.

With Beka, I learned a lot about tumblr, I became more comfortable with it. I joined a couple challenges, and that got me more likes and followers. She reblogged my fic, I believe it was about removing plastic from a turkey. 

I made a post, telling her about how grateful I was to her. And from that, came Amanda.

I don’t even remember how @amanda-teaches and I fully began talking, unsure which of us started it, but it doesn’t matter, cause Amanda, she’s my people. She is a constant ray of sunshine and I love her with all my tiny little heart.

She beta’s my fics, she helps me through them, she lets me rant at her about ideas, and she’s just so incredibly patient with me. She is still, and hopefully always will be, one of my closest friends.

@queen-of-deans-booty is another one I don’t fully remember meeting, I remember loving her so much, she was so sweet and I just loved her writing. I left her an anon ask, I was getting down on myself, and she was kind and patient with me, she told me it was safe to come off anon, and then, she allowed me to put her on my Dream Team, or forevers list.

She reblogged and commented on the first chapter of my series You’re Not Alone. I still read that on bad days, to remind me that I can still do good.

With that, came a flood of love. It spiked me to more followers, more likes, more reblogs. I was more noticed.

I don’t remember how I came to know @katymacsupernatural, but I will never deny it was one of the best things ever. Undeniable Heat was what I found of hers. I loved it, with all my heart, it was incredible and I immediately wanted in. Her story inspired me to write my imaginary world where Jensen and Jared are my honorary brothers, where Dani and Gen are my best friends, and where Misha is just a constant goof of a great friend.

I love writing it, even though Im not comfortable sharing it yet. Her inspiration to write it aided me a lot, she was so incredible, and then one night, she opened her inbox, and I pulled a full frontal attack.

I bombarded her with stupid little poems, goofy things and just me being a dork. I told her I was kidnapping the Winchesters, and for the next few weeks that was just our thing. It made me so happy. She was the first person I was comfortable not doing anon with, because she played along, and made me happy.

And thus struck up that friendship, which, wow... has done more for me than I can say. She and Amanda are what I call my butter pumpkins. And let me tell you, that it the highest honor.

Katy, you are constant and wonderful.

Since then, I have gained more than 200 followers, at this moment I have 243.

I was lucky enough to meet @becs-bunker, @sillesworldofwriting in a way through my fic called Just A Touch, which was a fic I wasn’t even proud of. I got such a roar of feedback from that fic, and it was at a time where I needed it most.

After that I met @thing-you-do-with-that-thing, and I love her to pieces because I see her and I see a strong, and brave person. She reminded me that you don’t have to take crap. She showed me how to stand up for someone, and for myself.

I don’t think I can say enough about the people who have helped me on this site. But to all of you who I have tagged, and will tag.

I’m sorry if I don’t have much to say about you, but you all mean more to me than I can say. Thank you for sharing the love, thank you for being there.

Thank you for helping me feel like family.

The #spnfamily, it’s one of the best things that’s happened to me. Through all the hate I have recieved today, I laugh at it, because I know I have all of you. So thank you.

@manawhaat @polina-93 @cassieraider @dizwinchester @babypieandwhiskey @nightlyinsomnious @cass-trash @ladywinchester1967

And anyone else I may have forgotten. I love you, your support is keeping me going everyday.

You will never know, how much it means.

[dragonasheswrites-blog]

The Heaven We Didn’t Choose, Chapter 8: In Which The Internet is Invoked

...And Sans nearly loses his edgelord club membership card. 

First: Chapter 1: In Which a Child Makes a Friend

Previous: Chapter 7: In Which Skeletons are Explained

Next: Chapter 9: In Which Dog Marriage Saves the Day

Click here for the story overview.

The next day went about as well as Sans expected.  He was once again woken up by the flurry of alarms reminding him of Undyne’s impending invasion of the apartment, but he made sure to have Attie up and dressed in ’training clothes’ before she arrived.

It was worth the extra effort.  Undyne had calmed considerably, having apparently slept at some point, but she kept eyeing him with a very...intense expression.  Attie demanded enough of her attention that she didn’t say anything, but he felt an overwhelming sense of foreboding.

Either Frisk had made good on her threat to talk to Undyne about Boss or Sans had messed up on his paperwork again.  Possibly both.  He was betting on the former, though, especially since Boss hadn’t come back to the apartment the previous evening.

This meant that Undyne wound up giving them a crash course in breakfast...literally.  The kitchen looked like a war zone by the time they were finished, with globs of oatmeal across the ceiling, floor, and stove top.  The oatmeal itself was full of dark brown flakes that made Attie wince every time she took a bite.  He made a mental note to look up an oatmeal-making tutorial on Youtube; there had to be a more efficient way to do this.

“No paperwork today,” Undyne said once she’d scarfed down her own portion of oatmeal.  “The queen’s doing the morning visit before she meets with the...well, with...important people.  We’re also moving her room and posting a guard outside.”

Sans blinked at her, slowly.  “...What are you talking about?”

She growled.  “Frisk.  The ambassador.  Queen Toriel is going to see her this morning to assess her status.  You,” she gestured to both of them with a strange figure eight motion, “stay here.  You can see her this afternoon if you get the all-clear, but text me first.  We’re relocating her to a more defensible room and posting a guard.  Make sure you bring your ID, ass-clown, or you’ll be locked out.”

“Don’t lock me out!”  Attie said, grabbing Undyne’s arm.  “I wanna see my mommy!”

“Oh, you can go on in just fine, punk; the guards won’t bother you.  They’re just gonna make sure no one gets to see your mommy without permission.  If a bad guy tries something funny they’ll beat ‘im up!  It’s for security, right?”

“Cool!”  The girl bounced in her seat.  “Can I be security for Mommy too?  I wanna beat up bad guys!”

“Haha!  You’ve gotta train a little harder than THAT if you wanna be in the Guard!  Ready?”

“Ready!”

“I’ll be here,” Sans said, staring intently at the last globs of oatmeal in his bowl.  “You guys have fun.”

Being lifted by his skull was a new and special kind of painful, he discovered.  Also, Undyne’s grin was even more terrifying close up.

“You’re not getting out of training THAT easy, nerd!  A little exercise never hurt anyone!”

Attie made a mad dash for the living room, screaming about training and friendship and how wonderful everything in her little life was.

The next hour and a half could only be described as torture.  Sans didn’t know a whole lot about humans and fish-monsters (or whatever Undyne was), but he was very certain that skeletons were not designed to bend in some of the ways she was trying to make him bend.  He could feel the strain on his joints; he was sure he was going to dislocate something.  It didn’t help that the stretches were interspersed with periods of intense movement, pushing his still-sore bones well past their limit.  He hoped Boss never found out about this; the big guy had enough punishment ideas to last him a lifetime.

He collapsed onto the couch when Undyne finally stopped.

“That was a GREAT warm-up,” she said.  “Now for the REAL training!”

Sans debated crawling under the couch.  There wasn’t a lot of space under there; his skull and ribcage would be a problem...

She laughed at him.  “I’m just kidding, NERD!  Don’t you know how to take a joke?  Hey, hey Attie, look at this loser!  He can’t even do a little exercise!”

“Mr. Sans isn’t a loser,” Attie solemnly reminded her.  “He’s a asshole.”

“You BET he is!  Anyways, make sure he doesn’t fall asleep, huh?”

“Okay!”

His phone went off.  Oh, right; he hadn’t texted Frisk all morning.  He’d get on that.  Just as soon as he could feel his arms again.

“Mr. Sans?”

His vision started going...a little fuzzy…

“-ey?  Hey?  Can you hear me?”

Sans looked up at Undyne.  She was looking a little worried or angry, one of the two.  He wasn’t sure why; he hadn’t actually passed out, had he?  “‘Mfine,” he mumbled into the couch cushion.

“Yeah, no, punk.  Attie, go grab me the bottle of green juice in your fridge and a cup.  Sans, talk to me.”

“‘M fine."

She huffed.  “You’re an idiot.  No, listen to me: you’re an idiot.  Anyone knows to speak up when they’re being pushed too far.  Except you, I guess.  Do you know what’s happening?  Your magic levels are so low you’re losing HP.  Slowly, but still.  You’re literally killing yourself.”

“Thought a little exercise never hurt anyone.”

“Yeah, a little exercise.  We didn’t even do much, really.  Heck, Attie’s had more exercise over the past few days than we normally do in a week, and she’s just fine.  You?  You collapsed under your own lack of magic.  We’re not even practicing magic, beyond whatever’s holding you together and making you move!  You’d have to do...well, pretty much no exercise at all on a regular basis AND be super low on magic to get to this point.”

“Sounds ‘bout right.”

“And that’s why you’re an idiot.  Oh - thanks, Attie.”  She took the bottle of juice, poured some into the cup, and pushed it towards Sans.

He managed to get himself upright and tipped... most of the juice into his mouth.  It tasted like something that was brewed in a froggit’s armpit, but he did feel better after.  “...What is that stuff?”

“Magic-infused sports drink.  Good for the body AND the SOUL!  The Royal Scientist came out with it a few years back.  You never heard of it?”

“It’s disgusting.”

“I’ve seen what you leave behind at your sentry post; you have no right to criticize anyone else’s eating or drinking habits.”

Fair enough.

“Also, next time we do this, frickin’ tell me when you’re about to collapse, would ya?”

“Gee, didn’t know you cared.”  Also: next time??

“Oh, I don’t.  Someone needs to watch this little punk, though, and she seems kinda fond of you.  Stars know why.”  She ruffled Attie’s hair.

The kid grinned widely.  “It’s ‘cause he feeds me hot dogs and lets me do fun science and lets me color and takes me to see my mommy.  And he didn’t let Mommy die and he helped me beat Mr. Papyrus and stuff.”

Sans eyed her.  “...Right.”

“I told Undie all about the fight with Mr. Papyrus!  I have her phone number in my phone and I was texting her last night when I was supposed to be sleeping.”

“‘M I gonna have to take your phone away at bedtime?”

“Noooo!”  She flopped over onto the couch next to him dramatically.

Undyne laughed.  “Well, since you’re not about to dust, I’ll be off.  Drink another glass of that stuff, asshole.  Attie, make sure he does.”

“Okay!”

“And Vice Captain Papyrus will be back sometime this evening.  If he scares you at all, even just a little bit, you tell this worthless lump here to get you out and you text me.  Okay?”

“Okay!”

“Oh, and a word of advice, Sans?”

He raised his head a fraction.

“Walk around a little.  You’ll be even worse off if you don’t.”

The very atmosphere seemed to deflate when Undyne left.  Sans felt like melting into the couch cushions and just...not moving until Boss came back and kicked his lazy butt into gear.

“Come ooooon!”  Attie whined, grabbing the back of his jacket and trying to drag him off the couch.  She was succeeding.  “Undie said you have to keep moving!  If she says so then we have to do it!”

“Noooo.”  Sans dug his claws into the couch, trying to anchor himself without leaving obvious rips that Boss would scream at him for.

His phone went off again.

He reluctantly disentangled himself from the kid enough to sit up (though she wound up clinging to his back) and pulled it out.

Frisky Dreamer 9:22 AM Sans, I’m waiting for a check-in.

Frisky Dreamer 9:42 AM I’m calling Undyne if I don’t hear from you in five minutes.

You 9:44 AM Undie just left We were doing morning torture

Frisky Dreamer 9:44 AM Explain.  Now.

You 9:46 AM U know the stretching and the posing and the running in place that kindve thing The usual stuff undie likes

Frisky Dreamer 9:46 AM Training?

You 9:47 AM Yeah that

Frisky Dreamer 9:47 AM Don’t call Captain Undyne’s training ‘torture,’ or I’ll tell her you called her “Undie.”

You 9:48 AM U got it

“Oooh, ask her if we can come see her this afternoon!”  Attie said, leaning over his shoulder.

You 9:49 AM Kid wants to know when we can come see you this afternoon If ur up for it

Attie dragged him off the couch when no answer came immediately.  He reluctantly shuffled his tired bones around the living room a few times, but gave up when his phone remained silent.  “Uh, you’d better change your clothes, kid.  Maybe your mom’ll text us back later.  She’s probably busy, remember?”

“Oh, yeah!  Granny Ree’s visiting her this morning, right?”

“Right.  So let’s see if we can find something your mom’ll approve of, okay?”

“Okay!”

Attie wound up in a yellow and white striped shirt and jeans.  He mentally reviewed the fashion lessons from the morning before.  It looked...pretty good?  Jeans went with everything, right?  He couldn’t tell if the yellow was supposed to be ‘good’ or ‘bad’ for Attie’s skin color (all of that had gone clear over his skull) but Frisk wouldn’t have bought her kid a shirt that looked bad on her, right?

...Hopefully?

He snapped a picture and sent it to the overbearing mother, hoping for the best.

Schoolwork went better than the day before.  Sans was still mostly lost, but a few subjects (mostly Math and Science) weren’t too different from what he’d been taught in the Underground.  At seven years old, Attie wasn’t doing anything too complicated; he was able to follow along and help out fairly well.

It reminded him of teaching Boss, really.  The sad structure that passed for a school in Snowdin had burned to the ground around the time Sans graduated (in a completely unrelated incident, not that he hadn’t been tempted), so Boss had been deprived of a few years’ formal education.  It had been challenging to get an excitable babybones to sit still long enough to do a page of multiplication, but he’d done his best.

His best, he knew, wasn’t great.  It was probably the reason Boss turned out the way he had.

Attie, at least, was used to the routine.  She knew to check her list of schoolwork (Undyne had left it on the counter this time, and had removed the one she’d pinned up with the knife) and found her assignments based on the numbers associated with each subject.  It boggled Sans’s mind.  Teaching kids at home was, apparently, something humans had simplified greatly.  There was a whole system of what to do each day and everything.  It made remembering to text Frisk a little easier, too; he just shot off a text as they finished each subject.  Attie did the same, happy for an excuse to use her new phone.

Lunch was hot dogs, again.  Attie, predictably, demanded that Sans eat his all in one bite.  He initially refused, but...well, the thing she did with her eyes was growing on him.  He caved and swallowed his hot dog whole.

He didn’t sit still long enough for Attie to take a picture of him doing it.  She did her best, but it wasn’t quite enough.

Ding!

Frisky Dreamer 12:58 PM Sans, what exactly are you teaching my daughter?

You 12:59 PM Nothing were just having lunch

Frisky Dreamer 12:59 PM So bragging to a young girl about how you can swallow weiners is normal for you?

Sans squinted at his phone, trying to make sense of the message.  He knew ‘weiner’ was another word for ‘hot dog,’ but...he felt there was something he was missing.

You 1:00 PM Kinda i mean i run a ‘dog stand Dont really talk to the customers but sometimes onell wonder y a skeleton needs food Where r u going with this?

Frisky Dreamer 1:02 PM I can’t decide if you’re naive, stupid, or far more creepy than I ever gave you credit for.  Where is Attie now?

He looked around.  The kid was at the table doing more Grammar.  He snapped a picture.  

You 1:04 PM *1 picture message sent

Frisky Dreamer 1:05 PM Okay.

You 1:06 PM Kiddo what the hell is going on

Frisky Dreamer 1:07 PM You can’t do that anymore.  And stars, keep Attie from talking about your ‘hot dog trick.’

You 1:08 PM Uh y

Frisky Dreamer 1:09 PM BECAUSE I WON’T HAVE YOU INVOLVING MY DAUGHTER IN YOUR DIRTY PRANKS!!

Yep, he was definitely missing something.

You 1:10 PM U high again?  I have no idea what ur talking about

Frisky Dreamer 1:10 PM Stupid it is, then.  Look it up. NOT around Attie.

Sans double-checked that Attie was studying and not peeking over his shoulder, then opened the web browser on his phone.  He typed in ‘eat a weiner.’

Oh.  OH.

...Humans were disgusting.

You 1:12 PM So uh what the hell U humans r crazy Like what even Y would u do that with ur mouths With all ur gross fluids Thats unsanitary Like wow

Frisky Dreamer 1:15 PM That’s about the reaction I was expecting.  So NO MORE, OKAY?

You 1:15 PM I may never eat a hot dog again What the hell Y didnt anyone say anything Like do people think im some kind of weirdo for working at a dog stand Like theyre just in the store with other food Is that normall Is tht what huans do

Frisky Dreamer 1:17 PM Oh, you sweet, innocent child. You have no idea.

You 1:17 PM Y do humans destroy everything good This is a travesty against Science Like y

Frisky Dreamer 1:19 PM Sans, calm down.

You 1:19 PM O ok Uh So No more dogs for the kid

Frisky Dreamer 1:20 PM They are just normal food.  Deal with it however you want. It’s just that said food happens to vaguely resemble part of the human anatomy that a little girl DOES NOT need to know or think about. Just watch your words, okay?

You 1:23 PM O so im off the hook

Frisky Dreamer 1:23 PM Not hardly.

“Mr. Sans?”

Sans quickly pocketed his phone and looked over at Attie, holding her Grammar workbook to her chest.  “What’s up, kid?”

“Are you okay?”

“Uh...fine?  Why do you ask?”

“You’ve been texting for a long time now.  And you look kinda sick.”

“Heh, yeah?”  He gripped his phone, wishing he had some of that...what did humans call it?  The stuff that makes you forget stuff?  Brain bleach?  “Your mom was just telling me that ‘dogs aren’t good for ya.  So I guess that’s out.  For now, at least.”

“Awwwww.”

“Yeah, me too, kid.”  He was never going to live this down, he realized.  

“Say, uh, you done with your school?”

“I’m done with Grammar.  It was easy today.”

“Yeah, uh, great.  What’s next?”

Sans fought for focus the rest of the afternoon.  It wasn’t so much that humans apparently had some weird kinky ideas about what to do with their gross squishy body parts and fluids (though that was part of it); it was the fact that he’d lived on the surface for seven years and had never come across such an idea.  Did humans think it was weird that a monster had a hot dog stand?  Why had no one said anything to him?

Oh, right.  He was a rude, violent asshole who hated people.

That...probably explained a lot.

Still.

“Can you help me with art today?”  Attie asked.

“Uh, I’m not really an artsy guy, kid.”

“It’s okay.  Everyone can do art.  Making art is a way of showing other people how you see the world; that’s what Mommy says.”

“That sounds…” kinda whimpy, actually, “...cool?”

“Yep!  And today I’m feeling spikey!”

“Wait, what?”

“Do you have toothpicks and glue, Mr. Sans?”

As it happened, Sans found an unopened jumbo box of toothpicks in the back of a drawer.  Attie found glue...somewhere.  He wasn’t sure he wanted to know where.  “What now?”

“Now, we build stuff!  Here, can you hold this?”

Over the next hour or so, Attie glued toothpicks (and half of Sans’s fingers) into a spiked wooden death trap.  It was actually a little impressive.  The design was basic - a pit trap with spikes in the bottom - but the pit cover had working hinges that allowed it to drop open in the middle...once he disentangled himself from it.  They’d found a pair of old bottle caps, and gluing one on each side of the pit cover gave the two halves enough of a counter-weight to reset themselves each time.  She found a bag of grapes in the fridge and amused herself with rolling them over the top of the pit and watching them fall to their squishy deaths on the toothpicks below.

There wasn’t enough force to actually impale the grapes properly, but it was the thought that counted.  For a seven-year-old, she was well on her way towards carrying on the proud monster tradition of death traps.  Not for the first time, Sans wondered if he should be worried.

Then the kiddo surprised him.  She’d been rolling grapes onto the death trap, watching the cover open and close, and out of the blue she asked why it worked the way it did.  Sans hadn’t expected that, not from a kid her age, but gave her an overview of the physics.  She was trying to understand, he knew, but her eyes glazed over halfway through his explanation.

“...Well, that’s enough for today.  We’d better head out if you wanna go see your mom.”

“Okay!  Can I bring my deadly death trap of grape death?”

“I...think that’d be a bad idea.  You don’t wanna scare the humans, do ya?”

“Yep!  I wanna scare ALL the humans!  Well, except for the people at the Embassy.  They’re nice.”

“Oookay.  You don’t think the doctors are nice?”

“Nnnope!  They give you shots and take your temper’ture and do things that make your soul feel funny.  They try to bribe you with stickers but Mommy said that she got candy as a kid and that’s way better than stickers.”

“Eh, fair enough.  Put your shoes and jacket on and we’ll go terrorize some doctors.  Uh...without your death trap.”

“Aawww!  Why?”

“Think of it as...a challenge?”

Attie whooped a wild war cry and charged off to find her outerwear.  She really was like a little Boss in some ways.

He was sure he was forgetting something.  What had Undyne said?

Oh.  Right.

You 4:42 PM Hey undyne im gonna take the kid to see her mom

Capn Undie 4:44 PM HANG ON ASSHOLE

There was a long pause, and Sans took the time to retrieve his ID from where he’d left it in the pocket of his other pants.  He hated disturbing the sanctity of his laundry pile but showing up without identification to one of Undyne’s checkpoints was always unpleasant.

His phone gave a loud ping.

Capn Undie 4:53 PM You’re cleared with security.  Room 249, down the hall and around the corner from the old room.  BRING YOUR ID and we’ll have no problems, got it??

You 4:56 PM Got it

Capn Undie 4:59 PM And don’t even THINK about causing trouble or I’ll have you KICKED OUT.  You can sit outside while Attie does whatever she does visiting her mom.  I’m sure there’s a kiddie chair we can grab for you.

Sans narrowed his eye sockets.  “Hey, Attie?  You ready to go yet?”

“Not yet!”  Attie appeared with her shoes on, holding her jacket.  “My laces were being doo-doo-butts,” she said conversationally.

“...Right.  Okay.  Hey, why don’t you grab that death trap after all?  And some grapes; we can show yer mom how it works.”

“Physics!”  Attie screamed as she stumbled off to find her creation.

Sans grinned.

[elliotthezubat]

DEATH CITY DAYS CHAPTER 81

valentines day is fast approaching, and the true cross kids face a new foe

[[cont from part 80]]

Yumi: "Everyone buckled in?" shiori: uu! lord death: yep! Yumi: *starts the engine, backs out* "Just stop by the store, pick up some groceries...Maybe get Shiori a treat while we're out." lord death: ^^ Yumi: *smiles, heads out* "Busy week for you?" lord death: yeah. sorting files and missions and what not. Yumi: "Need help?" *reaches a stop light* lord death: it'd be appreciated. ^^ -elsewhere- mikan: *resting in asura's lap* UuU Asura: "...Comfy?" mikan: *she nods* this is nice. Asura: "Hmm..." *strokes her head* mikan: u////u Asura: *cheek smooch* mikan: hmhm~ <3 Asura: *strokes her face* mikan: *kiss* Asura: =\\\\\\\= "Mmm..." *returns the kiss* mikan: are you happy? Asura: "Yes..." -elsewhere- Yukio: "..." *studying a blood sample* seiya: hard at work, okumura? Yukio: "!!! Y-Yes..." *smiles* "Just reviewing old samples." seiya: ah. Yukio: *puts the sample away in a file* "How's everything?" seiya: i've been well. miss kamiki asked me to help tutor her with her studies, and i was more than happy to help. us tamers have to look out for each other, especially since we have a kindred bond. beni: *Yawn* Yukio: "Glad you're helping Kamiki...Beni? Are you okay?" beni: *bark* ^^ Yukio: ^^; "Any plans for the festival?" seiya: well, since we're both on the festival staff, i might tend the haunted house. Yukio: "...Oh, right: I'll be busy with staff work, too." seiya: that might make it hard for the classmates asking you out. *chuckles* Yukio: -\\\-;;; "...I'm not sure about that happening." adrian: ohoho, well arent you a heartbreaker~ ^^ Yukio: -\\\\- "Please." gilda: ^^; Yukio: "Well, let me know if I can help." -elsewhere- Patty: [how's teaching goin, sis?] liz: [good. on break ATM] Patty: [i put the kids to naptime and prepping their snacks] *attaches a pic of apple slices and PB+J sandwiches* liz: [aw. cute. ^^] Patty: [i know right?! ^w^ see u at home l8r?] liz: [yep] Patty: [c u then!] -elsewhere- Konro: *sweating nervously, smiling, shaking* seamstress: *sewing wedding kimonos* fufu, you seem happy, commander. Konro: "I'm just honored to give away the groom." seamstress: *smiles* he's like a son to you. Konro: *nods* "And that's why I want to give him the best wedding possible." seamstress: and soon, we'll have a little benimaru running around, ohoho~ Konro: ^\\\\\^ -elsewhere- Assi: "Zzzz..." setsuna: *cooking dinner* Shotaro: "Can I help?" setsuna: of course. can you get the plates set out? Shotaro: "On it!" *walks to the shelves* Yohei: "What's for dinner?" setsuna: spaghetti neopolitan. nea: ?? o^o~? Shinoda: "Nooooot what you're thinking." nea: =3= boo. Shotaro: "I'm sure we got some cold foods..." *opens the freezer* -yep, they do- nea: yay. TTuTT Shotaro: "Which you want to start with? Gazpacho?" -elsewhere- Chuuya: "..." naoya: *knocks* we got food and we're having some dinner together in the main room. you hungry? Chuuya: "...Coming..." sonia: *following naoya* come on, papa. Chuuya: *weak smile* "Right..." sonia: .... Chuuya: "..." ("Is this what you wanted, Rain? This...just doesn't seem to be enough for her...I...") mito: *purrs and nuzzles chuuya's leg* Chuuya: "..." *pets her* "Gonna need to get you your food, too..." -elsewhere- Kunikida: "Behave yourself while you visit Kirako." aya: i will. ^^ sylvia: .... *shuffling* atsushi: *smiles* Kyoka: *nods* *knocks on Kirako's door* kirako: come on in, kiddos. ^^ kenji: thanks miss kirako. ^^ Kyoka: "We brought you a thank-you gift." *holds up a stack of books* kirako: aww, how sweet. ^^ sylvia: *looking around* *The titles include some children's books--including 'Baby's First Assassination Guide'* kirako:... ^^; Kyoka: "Want water, Sylvia?" sylvia: um i-if its not any trouble... Kyoka: "I'm sure it's fine with Miss Kirako..." *opens the cabinet, takes out glasses* -elsewhere- Arthur: *reading "A Knight's Guide to Electricity"* maki: ok, who is writing all these weird books? Arthur: "I just buy them and read them--I don't question them." maki:..o...kay then... -elsewhere- Steinbeck: *wringing out his wet clothes* -_-;;; "I said the treasure needed to be liquidated--and you literally threw it into the river..." twain: listen, as soon as we get back, i promise i'll make it up to you. Steinbeck: "How?" *counting the coins* *mutters* "I think we're missing two..." twain: i have an idea, and i know it will make you happy. ^^ Steinbeck: "...Do I need to slap you preemptively for pervy thoughts?" twain: it's nothing lewd! jeez, what do you think i am? Steinbeck: *stare* "...You don't want me to answer." twain: *pout* emily: well, in any case, the sooner we get home, the better. -elsewhere- Belkia: "Ready for our date~?" ayami: *she nods* ^///^ lavender: have fun you two~ Belkia: "Oh, we intend to..." *takes Ayami's hand* ayami: hehe~ naho: use protection, pervs! Belkia: ^\\\^;;;; "Naho, please..." naho: *raises a brow at him* Belkia: "So, where to first, Lovely? Dancing or dinner?" -elsewhere- Rino: T~T *slumped over* "My poor back..." mikami: do you need to lie down, miss rino? ryuuko: you shouldnt overwork yourself. Rino: "I don't--it's the boss that overworks me..." *tries to lie on the couch, moaning* "Ouchie..." mikami: we'll see what we can do to help you. Rino: "I'd like that...But you two have your own work." ryuuko: we still want to help. you're our friend after all. Rino: "..." Q\\\Q "Th-Thanks..." mikami: any time. ^^ -elsewhere- Kishiri: "--then Mom finally noticed how close she was to the edge! She almost backed the car up off the cliff if I hadn't said, 'Mom, we're going over.'" vivian: oh goodness! Kishiri: "Hee hee...Fam never lets me forget that one..." tao: you think _that_ was a crazy one? the other day a centipede got in and i hit it with the fly swatter, but it was an old fly swatter, so when i hit it, the swatter EXPLODED into pieces! Kishiri: "Woooooow...Or a really strong swing." -elsewhere- Kuro: *yawns* "Scoot over..." *crawls more under the blanket* mahiru: *hug* zzzzzz Kuro: =\\\\\= "Mmm..." *yawns* mahiru: mm.....mom...... Kuro: "???" mahiru: *whine* Kuro: "..." *POOF* *hug* mahiru: *calming down* Kuro: *strokes his back* "..." ("What the heck...") mahiru: *chest nuzzle* Kuro: .\\\\. "...???" *continues stroking* mahiru: zzzzzz -warm...- Kuro: =\\\\= ("Thank goodness...I can go back to sleep...") *but he's still stroking him* "..." *nuzzles* -elsewhere- Magaki: <Hello.> tsubaki: how are you? Magaki: "As well as I can...given circumstances." tsubaki: i see. anything new happening? Magaki: "...I finished the lessons in the English book. Thank you. Do you have another one?" tsubaki: *hands it to them* well done, magaki. ^^ Magaki: *nods* "Thank you...I wanted to know..." tsubaki: ?? Magaki: "Have you heard anything from...others about how long I'll be here?" tsubaki:....i havent asked yet. Magaki: "I see..." -elsewhere- Karim: "Okay, that'll be it for training. Dismissed." foien: so i spoke with the commander the other day. Karim: "Oh?" foien: he's spoken with a few engineers to commission a new arm for me. Karim: "Wow! ...You're going to go with it?" foien: may as well. Karim: "Hmm...When you meeting them?" foien: sometime this week. Karim: "Good luck...Need me to take over anything while you're out?" -elsewhere- shinra: .......... Relan: "Shinra?" shinra: hm? Relan: "We brought you some water..." shinra:....thanks....*glances up* iris:....... shinra:.....you're.....really iris....right? iris: *nods* shinra:.....*shaking* i dont feel so good...... Relan: "Well, that's one reason to rest a bit...And I assure you, this is Iris." shinra:....im scared. iris:.....cant say i blame you.....i-if this thing really did look like me.... Relan: "But it wasn't. And we'll figure this out...The Commander has people looking into this." shinra: mm.......am i.....gonna die? iris: its ok shinra. *holds his hand* Relan: *nods* *pat* -elsewhere- Kunikida: *leans back* ("With Aya and the others visiting Kirako, I can unwind and re-organize what I have--") -knock- Kunikida: "..." -_-# *looks out the peephole* ranpo: can i come in? Kunikida: *opens the door* "Of course." ranpo: *plops onto the bed face first* *grooooan* Kunikida: "...Okay. Rest." ranpo: zzzzzz Kunikida: "..." *sighs* *sets a blanket over him* ranpo: *muttering* no....dont do it......if you.....the agency will..... Kunikida: "???" -elsewhere- Kafka: *tapping files* "Busy busy busy--" hans: back to work already? Kafka: "I must. If I left it to everyone else, nothing would be organized--" *vigorously sharpening a pencil* hans: i...see... ._.; Kafka: "..." *taps the tip of the pencil* "OUCH! Okay...sharp enough..." *starts taking notes* "Did you have an assignment? Maybe paperwork to file? Something to type up? Database updates?" hans: at the given moment no, im just here to laminate some papers and write out some assignments. Kafka: "Ah. Well, the laminator has been misbehaving." *evil glare at the machine* "If it continues...I'll punish it." *eye shine* hans: ._.; o..kay then. Laminator: *inanimate Q____Q;;; sweatdrop reaction* Kafka: "...Is the boss happy?" hans: he seems content..... 7//////7 Kafka: "..." -\\\- "I see...Well, good. That'll make work easier until I catch up on work..." *pulls out a file--with glitter* "...Walter just had to upset my organizing method..." -elsewhere- etta: *getting ready for the next show* Leroux: "All set? Or shall we bring you some water?" etta: something to drink. im parched. Leroux: "Right oh!" *pours a glass* "I thought the last performance went well. What did you think?" etta: sure did, all thanks to you as well. ^^ Leroux: "D'aw, that's so sweet--because it's true." ^w^ etta: ^^ christine: *says nothing as she is a doll* Leroux: "Any plans this evening?" etta: well goethe said there was a party at the mansion tonight! Leroux: "Oh, goodie! I hope he won't mind Christine coming along~" christine: ..... etta: im sure he'd be fine with it. ^^; Leroux: "Well, give the performance of your life, sweetie--then we'll celebrate!" -elsewhere- Kyoka: *watching* "Don't go in there, you fool." *watching the movie sylvia: 0~0;;;; aya: watch out, mrs brisby! Kyoka: "I said not to..." *noms on kettle popcorn* -elsewhere- Meme: ^w^ *nom* tsugumi: tasty right? ao: indeed it is. ^^ Meme: "Mm-mm! Good work!" tsugumi: ^///^ *looks at anya* Anya: "..." *nom* mio: your gonna be ok. Anya: "...Th-Thanks..." *sips* -4 days later- stocking: wow, security's really beefed up this year. shura: yeah, just as a precaution. Yukio: "..." *looks around* -elsewhere- shiemi: how does my costume look guys? madoka: looks great. ^^ -there is a girl near by with....two sticks?- girl: hmmm, lets see....hoho! what have we here! *the sticks are pointing to....rin's butt?* Rin: *whistling, sorting through kitchen knives* girl: excuse me, okumura was it? do you have a demon with you right now? madoka: 0-0;;;; shiemi: >->;;;;; it's probably his cat! girl: oh? a cait sith, right? can i see them?? *shiny eyes* madoka: um, who are you exactly? girl: right! totes slipped my mind. call me annabelle warren, demon researcher and occult club member! Rin: *finally notices* "Oh! Hey, ladies!" *waves* madoka + shiemi + annabelle: *sweatdrop* -and so- stocking: *enjoying cotton candy* ~<3 Kid: "Like it?" *takes a piece* stocking: so good~<3 Kid: *nom* "Indeed..." *looks around* -seems pretty busy- Kid: "Lots of people to follow..." stocking: still, got to keep an eye out for anything suspicious. -elsewhere- izumo: ..... Paku: "I'll be heading out now..." izumo: have fun..... Paku: "...I can't convince you to go?" izumo: no can do. got exams to worry about. you have fun.........*lightbulb* OH RIGHT FUCK. -and so- izumo: still cant believe you talked me into this, okumura. Rin: "But you're so good with numbers and math and stuff! And the customers love you!" izumo: well, im here now, right? Rin: ^w^ "I knew I could trust you..." izumo: ..... -that evening- izumo: finally on break.... *phew* ???: "Come here." izumo: ??? *turns* Nemu: "Right now..." izumo: takara? what the heck are you doing here all by yourself like a weirdo? Nemu: *sighs* "I don't have time for this--" *POOF* izumo: ??.... !!!! *It's a small fox doll* izumo: w-where...where did you get that?! Nemu: "..." -elsewhere- Triple A: "Damn you, talk!" *kick* exorcist: grk- ngh.... Triple A: "How many of you are here?" lewin: jeez artie, dont kill the guy before he talks. exorcist: p-please i....i dont know anything... Triple A: "And given his reticence to speak, doesn't that indicate there _are_ more? We find them, we learn more..." -kchnk- lewin: ??? Triple A: "What the devil?" Exorcist #1: "We're locked in!" spy:....cant have you....getting in the way...... Triple A: "...You assume we can't get out?" -commotion outside the door- ???: "Stay where you are!" spy: !!! child: d-dad? whats going on? spy: !!! please! leave them out of this! Triple A: "...Lewin...Did you know about this?" lewin: yeah, i figured we'd have something like this happen, so i planned ahead. True Cross Exorcist #1: *takes the child by the shoulders* spy: within the hour! t-they're going to capture a student in death city, she's important to our goal! Triple A: "Name?" spy: …izumo kamiki. -elsewhere- izumo: why do you have that?! a-are you- Yukio: "???" shura: everyone, we need to find izumo and get her to safety. seiya: !!! adrian: it'll be better if we went into teams. i'll go with shima! ^^ Shima: .\\\. "R-Really?" adrian: come along now~ hehe~ Bon: "??? ...How the heck did he get a date?" shura: shiemi, kaname, you're on a team too. shiemi: we should ask paku. madoka: *nods* Rin: "What about me?" shura: you go with yukio. seiya: bon and konekomaru will be on a team, as will shura and i. Rin: "On it! I'll take the high ground--" Yukio: "Hold on! We should--" *Rin is already leaping up* -elsewhere- izumo: *pant pant* g...give it back! Nemu: "..." *tosses it* "Of course. After all, she gave it to me..." izumo: ??!! y-your lying! its a charm to keep her safe! what did you do to her? who even are you?! -she's reaching into her pocket- Nemu: "COORDINATOR!!!" izumo: for what? Nemu: "...The Illuminati wants you." izumo:... AS IF! -fox summon- Nemu: *sighs* "They told me not to get you injured--" *Suddenly, a giant robot toy appears* Nemu: "Go, my metamorphosing mech warrior Centogaia!!!" izumo: .... !!!! are you kidding me?! "Centogaia": "BEEP BEEP--Missile Punch!!!" *One hand explodes off Centogaia at Izumo* izumo: *braces for impact* *SLASH* izumo: !!! adrian: sorry for being late~<3 Shima: "All that Splatoon paid off...So stop bullying Izumo! It is fated that I won't let you have her!" izumo: miss fawkes! and pink hair?! adrian: if you dont so mind, we're your escorts for the evening, hehehe~ Nemu: "LIKE HELL I'M LETTING THIS HAPPEN! Centogaia! Crush them! Get her!" Centogaia: "BEEP BEEP! Squish them--" Shima: "Well, guess we have no choice..." *picks up Izumo* izumo: o////o h-h-hey! adrian: *le dodge* oop! too slow! Shima: "Girishu chiribikiri...Tadanouun sarabashadoro dashaya. Satanbaya stanbata. Zohatta sohatta sowaka...So hurry up and help me, Yamantaka!" yamantaka: ABOUT TIME! izumo: !!!!! -yamantaka fights off the robot, giving of black flames- Shima: "World class demon...KNOCK ITS PLASTIC HEAD OFF!" yamantaka: BURN IN HELLFIRE MOTHERFUCKER! izumo:...*JAWDROP* Shima: "..." *tired exhale* "D-Damn...Forgot how much energy that takes..." adrian: not bad, shima~ hehe~ Shima: ^\\\^ "I try..." izumo:....um....guys? adrian: nyeh?... OwO;;;; oh, bunnies. Nemu: "FLUFFY TOY BUNNY MODEL TOYS--ATTACK!" izumo:... time to run? adrian: yep! Shima: "Yamantaka, follow! Cover us!" -BOOOOM- madoka: !!! up there! *magical girl mode and picks up shiemi, jumping up* izumo: w-wha...what just.....taka...ra? Shima: "A familiar of mine. My black flames...only attack the demon...or the soul inside. Kind of like certain weapons..." *winks* "Only my familiar is cooler than any demon weapon." izumo:... adrian: *looks at nemu* ... Nemu: *knocked back, lying down, unconscious* izumo: did you....kill him? Nemu: "..." *EYES OPEN WIDE* izumo: !!!!! *All but Nemu are knocked back* izumo: URK- adrian: WOAH! Shima: "DAMN!" *knocked back* izumo: w-what was..... !! Nemu: *groaning, sitting up* izumo: takara? *The hand puppet moves up to Nemu's face* Puppet: "Shhh...Go back to sleep..." izumo: !!!!!! adrian: so it was the doll in control the whole time, eh? i wonder who the puppet really was...~ izumo: .....stay here and hold him off! im getting help! adrian:....sorry izumo, but...... -adrian's horns, wings, tails, and markings appear- pazuzu: im afraid we cant let you do that~<3 izumo: ??!!! m-miss...fawkes? *SLICE* izumo: ......*collapses* pazuzu: shh, there there, it wont hurt long... -pink arrows shoot down at them- pazuzu: oh? Shima: "???" *picks up Izumo* "We heading out?" pazuzu: may as well. madoka: oh no you dont! *fires arrows* shiemi: !!!!!! Shima: "??? ..." *smiles* "That wasn't very nice, Shiemi. Could you ask Madoka to stop?" shiemi: how about _you_ stop and let go of izumo! Shima: "Can't...Got my orders." madoka: how can you do this? isnt izumo your friends? and what about bon and konekomaru? and your family? Shima: "It's...a bit complicated." ^^; "I was just told to watch you all. Honestly, this is the first time they told me to do something like this. Hope I did it well..." madoka: then i'll smack some sense into you! *fires* Shima: "EEP!" *dodges, holding Izumo* "And risk hurting her?!" madoka: !! -a helicopter has appeared- shiemi: !!!! nee! intercept them! Nee: "Nee!" *vines form out, grabbing Shima and Pazuzu by the ankles* pazuzu: !!! Shima: "?! H-Hey...This isn't quite what I had in mind..." madoka: unhand her. Shima: "You're going to make me look bad." shiemi: you already made yourself look bad! Shima: "I just said I can't--why are you making me repeat myself, Madoka? I know you're cute and all, but I can't forgive monotony..." Nemu: "..." -the helicopter has arrived- illuminati member: i see you brought the girl. excellent job. Shima: "D'aw, thanks..." madoka: !!! Nemu: "..." Shima: "So, we'll get Izumo out of here and--" *SLICE* Shima: "..." *a strand of hair falls...on blue fire* "..." QwQ "H-How--" Rin: "..." *death glare* "Shima...WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, MAN?!" -FREEEEEEEEEN- madoka: EEP! Rin: "GAH!" Shima: "...Huh. Really? Right now?" konekomaru: >-< Bon: *covering his eyes* stocking: *angel mode* *glaring at illuminati goons* Shima: OwO "...All kinds of cuteness wanting to attack us...Not how I wanted this to go..." pazuzu: aw, how cute, the taint blood princess decided to play with us too~ Shima: ^w^;; "Maybe don't pester Stocking, Pazuzu? She looks pissed..." stocking: i dont know what that light was just now, or what you guys think your doing, but you need to stop this shit right now. besides, i dont think my dad would appreciate you insulting me like that. ???: *someone talking, their mouth full* "Nope. Not at all." stocking:... with food in your mouth? REALLY? =_=; Mephisto: *swallows* "I was in the middle of something. I did not expect the Illuminati to provoke us so soon. Hmm...Lord Death is going to talk my ear off about this..." ???: "HELLO, ALL." Mephisto: -_-# stocking: what the hell? *The light above assumes the form of a bird, speaking...* Light Bird: "I did not mean to be so rude..." *The light crashes down like lightning, assuming the form of a human* stocking: what the fuck?! madoka: ??!! ???: "Greetings...I am Lucifer." Bon: "?!!! The light bringer..." stocking: ...im gonna go out on a limb and say your the head of the enemy group, right? Mephisto: ^^; "Now, now, sweetie...Let's not be so rude to my brother..." stocking:.........dad........WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Rin: "IS THERE LITERALLY NO ONE IN THIS FAMILY WITH SOME BLACK SHEEP IN IT?!!!" Mephisto: ^^;;;;;;;; "Brother...Why have you come out here? Was it the dry arid air, something to help you with that cough?" stocking: ....whatever, i'll question this later. what are you doing here _uncle_? Lucifer: *cough* "N-No...It was something else. But it is a bit of a family reunion..." Rin: "...Oh, God..." Mephisto: "..." *eyeroll* "Here we go..." Lucifer: "Today, I declare our war on the True Cross and its allies who would get in the way of our goal: to bring back Father." stocking: ?? Lucifer: "We will bring back Satan--and Assiah and Gehenna will be one again." stocking: what do you mean _again_? Lucifer: "Your father has not told you? That is disappointing...I was hoping he would help us..." stocking: *looks at mephisto* Mephisto: "..." *looking serious* stocking:....dad? Lucifer: "In the beginning--the beginning, as far as any of you need to know--there was unity. Then light appeared, and from it darkness was identified. Assiah and Gehenna were cleaved from each other, and from it spread inequality...Is this the world you wanted, Brother? The one where being a demon made you persecuted? Where even one drop of demon blood made you hated?" Mephisto: *smiling...but his right-hand shakes slightly* stocking: ........ pazuzu: even more so if one were to have the blood of demon _and_ angel, a taint blooded freak that shouldnt even exist~ stocking: *tenses up* Lucifer: *stares at Pazuzu* pazuzu: whaaat? its truuue~ Lucifer: *sighs* "Brother...Join me. With your help, we can make this world equal for all..." Mephisto: *smiles* "You call it equal...and I agree, this world is by no means equal. And I am happy to join with anyone to bring about such a world." Lucifer: "...And you think I wouldn't?" stocking: d-dad? Mephisto: "I've seen, firsthand, the 'equality' Father created: a caste system of demons, each clawing up over the other to reach for the Sun and Heavens. This 'equality' you bring back is simply another hierarchy with you on top, like the rank Illuminati has always been." Lucifer: "..." madoka: *still attacking shima* GIVE IZUMO BACK! Shima: *holding Izumo carefully* "H-Hey now! You'll cut up poor Izumo!" madoka: just give her back already! what does she have to do with any of this?? Shima: "Beats me! I just know the Boss said it's part of the plan--" Mephisto: "That word...'inequality.' I assume you mean the caste system in place in this world? But there is one more reason..." *smiles--before he bellows, blowing wind across the rooftop* "YOU DARED TO INSULT MY CHILDREN!" *The wind knocks over Shima* Shima: Q_Q *trying to keep balance* *The wind knocks down Lucifer* pazuzu: OwO;;;;; Lucifer: "!!!" *coughs blood* illuminati member: !!! sir! Lucifer: "D-Doctor..." pazuzu: shimaaaa lets get out of here already! Shima: "R-Right..." *carries Izumo* Rin: "?!!! Do something, Mephisto!" Mephisto: *smiling...and looks at Rin* "If I could, wouldn't I have done so by now?" Rin: "!!! ...Then I'm glad I'm too stupid to let logic hold me back..." *rushes forward* stocking: *charges as well* Shima: "..." *sighs* "What a drag..." *walks forward, calmly, standing before the Illuminati to give them cover* pazuzu: *TAIL SWIPE AT RIN AND STOCKING* Rin: *dodges* "YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!" *slams a foot at Pazuzu's head* pazuzu: *unfazed* go on~ get mad at me and hit me with all you have~ -the helicopter starts up- Rin: "!!!" *looks back to see Shima bringing Izumo onto the helicopter* Shima: "..." Rin: "SHIMA! Bring her back, or I'll--" Shima: *looks back* "--kill me?" Rin: "..." madoka: ..... Shima: "..." *smiles sadly* "I'll give you some advice. If you want to get stronger, you're going to have to be ready to kill me...and other humans...because that is who the Illuminati recruits." madoka: *stomach drops* ???: "Shima..." Shima: "???" "...Bon..." Bon: "What kind of a joke is this...WHAT THE HELL, SHIMA?!" Shima: "...My friends...Thank you." konekomaru: *too stunned to move* Shima: "I value the trust you put into me, for all this time..." *smiles* "But that is as far as it got." Bon: "!!!" pazuzu: i should go too... it was fun, stocking, teaching with you....*pokes her nose* boop~ *flies away* stocking: .... Shima: "See you soon." *waves, as he enters the helicopter* Bon: *shaking...* "SHIMA! YOU THINK I'LL ACCEPT THIS!" *runs at the helicopter* *The doors close behind Shima...who promptly collapses* -the helicopter takes off- stocking: *wings out* oh no you don- *FWOOOM* stocking: !! Rin: *looks up* "...What the hell is that?" stocking:.... !!!!!! shura: mother-... *over intercom* EVACUATE THE SCHOOL GROUNDS, NOW! *There is...a hole in the sky...and something...no...multiple demons are passing through it* stocking: shit! Mephisto: "When Lucifer arrived...the barrier between worlds weakened at just this spot..." shura: luckily, the rest of the city is unscathed. for the time being. madoka: what do we do now? Mephisto: *smiles at Madoka* "I don't suppose you're offering your services to my meager forces again, are you?" madoka:...*nods* stocking: so whats the plan, dad? Mephisto: "Excellent! That puts my mind at greater ease." *looks to Stocking* "I will need you and Yukio to lead the exwires to rescue Izumo." stocking: right. shiemi: we're going now? Yukio: "Just us? What about back-up?" Mephisto: "Yes, now. And don't worry--I already have someone lined up to go with you!" shiemi: really? Mephisto: "Yes." *holds up Nemu* shura:................................................what? Rin: "??? Wait, Bunny Dude? What can he do--" Mephisto: "He's an upper first-class exorcist I personally recruited~" Rin: "..." *stabbed in the heart* "Wh-When am I ever going to advance..." konekomaru:.....*glasses crack of shock* Bon: *all color has faded from him* Yukio: "..." stocking: ._.;; *doesnt even know her own rank* shiemi: ??? madoka: what about shima? Mephisto: "I'm afraid I do not know what has happened with him...but we must accept that Shima was an Illuminati spy--" konekomaru: we cant prove that! Mephisto: "I would think what you just witnessed was proof enough..." *COLLAR CLUTCH* Mephisto: "??" konekomaru: even so, we're bringing both izumo _and_ shima back! Rin: *nods* Mephisto: "..." *sighs* "Focus on bringing Izumo back. Shima's return will just be the dessert..." stocking: *nods* alright, lets move out! -at the train station- stocking: everyone ready? Paku: *watching them* shiemi: *looks at paku and nods* stocking: *hugs kid* the timing of this mission couldnt be worse. Kid: "We'll make it up...Just come back, with everyone." stocking: i will. *kiss* i love you, kid. dont ever forget that, ok? Kid: "..." *wiping his eyes* "D-Don't say that...Just come back..." stocking:...right. Kid: *smiles weakly* Paku: "Shiemi...Bring her home." -and so- shiemi: we're going back to japan? Yukio: "Our source located them near Inari Shrine in the Shimane Prefecture." konekomaru: so we're flying again? stocking: yep. we've contacted someone in the japan branch to drive us there. madoka: so how do we know that's where they are? Nemu: "I planted a doll on Izumo to track her..." madoka: i see. stocking: so the illuminati is a thing after all....yukio, you're the experienced teacher here. exposition time would be nice. Rin: "Yeah, I've heard so much about them: Gravity Falls, Gargoyles, Wikipedia articles--" Yukio: -_-; "That's fiction. This is real life." Yukio: "This iteration was founded 200 years ago., a secret society associated with demons. True Cross has investigated...and found they are a terrorist organization." konekomaru: ......renzou.... Rin: "Konekomaru...You think he..." konekomaru: i dont think so. call it a gut feeling or whatever, but i think renzou still is on our side. madoka:.... -and so- shiemi: so any idea who our driver is? stocking: not a clue. Rin: "...Um...Guys? Someone's holding a sign with Bon's name on it..." Bon: "?!" konekomaru: oh! ???: "Ryu!!!" Bon: -______- konekomaru: long time no see, yoshikuni. ^^; shiemi: ? stocking: friend of yours? Bon: "I mean--" Yoshikuni: "I'm a childhood friend of Ryu! I've been in love with him since then." shiemi: o.o madoka: oh my. Bon: "COULD YOU NOT RIGHT NOW?!" Yoshikuni: "Fufu--I'm just kidding! When we were kids, we'd say we would get married. But I would never hold Bon to that--right, sweetums?" Bon: -\\\\\\- "I'm dead. I'm dead..." konekomaru: *sweatdrop* stocking: .....aaaanyway, i assume you're our ride? Yoshikuni: "Right on. I'll get you there on time..." -and so- Rin: *pushed against Bon in the back seat* "Scoot over, man..." Bon: "..." shiemi: roomy. madoka: *checking map* Rin: "..." *stare* "Your frowny face is pissing me off, Bon..." Bon: "..." *looks out the window* Rin: "...You know what...STOP BEING SO CALM!" *Rin kicks Bon--so hard that the door flies off, and Bon with it* konekomaru: D8> Yukio: "WHY DID YOU KICK HIM THAT HARD?!" Rin: "It's not my fault the door is this flimsy!" Yukio: *looks out the window* "Please tell me he landed in something soft--" Bon: *dripping wet, his hair over his eyes* =_= "..." konekomaru: ._.; stocking: yikes. Rin: "..." *gets out of the car when they pull over* "Could you just stop with the sad sack schtick?! This is--" Bon: "Not. About. You." Rin: "..." Bon: "Shima...is like family. And it is family's responsibility... if it comes down to it..." *lifts up his head* "I'll kill him, then myself in retribution." Rin: "... ... ...BWA HA HA HA HA HA!" Bon: "!!! Shut up!" Rin: *wipes his tears* "Oh, man...You're like I was...when I wanted to die..." madoka: ....... Rin: "I'm glad...someone is worried about him, like you all were worried for me. So don't stop that..." Bon: "..." *shivering* konekomaru: *smiles* Rin: "...Hey, it's okay to cry--" Bon: "I'M NOT CRYING! I'M THINKING HOW I'M GOING TO RIP SHIMA'S LIMBS OFF AND BEAT HIM TO DEATH WITH THEM!" Rin: "That's the spirit!" -elsewhere...- ???: "Help..." izumo: ??? ???: "...not happy...Why..." izumo:....m...mom?.... ???: "Why...won't you help me?" -...shut up...this....everything.....its your fault!- ???: "Sister?" izumo: !!!! tsukumo? Tsukumo: "Are you crying?" izumo: n-no im fine. *hugs* its going to be ok, its going to be- *wakes up* ah! *She's in a medical room, attached to an IV drip* izumo: nnh.... ???: "Hey, you're up!" izumo: *glances.....and glares* you..... Shima: *smiles* "Thirsty?" *shakes an unopened bottle of water* izumo:.....*looks away* Shima: "Oh, and FYI--I didn't undress you. The nurses did that...and I was kind of unconscious." *opens and sips from the bottle* izumo: ................ Shima: "...So, since you're up, you ready to talk to the higher-ups?" izumo: ....... *A rattle is heard approaching the open door...* izumo:......!!!!! ???: "I-Izumo? Help..." izumo: <m....moth...er?> *Restrained to a wheelchair is a woman, bandaged all over, looking dazed, brought in by a nurse* ???: "It's quite unfortunate...that this hag deteriorated faster than expected." izumo: ???!!! *A short, portly doctor enters* ???: "So we needed to bring you in..." izumo: you....you piece of shit! ???: "That's Dr. Gedouin to you, Izumo..." *smiles* "You've grown up quite a bit." izumo: this wasnt.......to become an exorcist, i just needed title of 'tamer second class' right?! Gedouin: "About that...we found a workaround." izumo: ?? what do you mean? Gedouin: "Our 'guinea pig--'" *rests a hand on Izumo's mother's shoulder* "--led me to the brilliant insight how to proceed without you needing to complete your training. The spirit recognizes the Kamiki bloodline, so we just need a Kamiki...Any Kamiki..." izumo: ....... Gedouin: "Your poor mother is no longer able to proceed...So I'm left with two choices." izumo: *shaking* Gedouin: "..." *turns* "Nurse. Bring Tsukumo--" izumo: NO! i-i'll do it! just leave her out of this! Gedouin: *smiles* "Good..." *small laugh* "I had hoped it would be you. After all, Tsukumo is too small, and not as developed...in her training as you." izumo:..... Gedouin: "But you need your sleep right now. Tomorrow, I'll complete your examination. If I find no problems, we'll proceed..." *licks his lip slightly* "Until then..." *carts Izumo's mother...* Izumo's Mother: "Help..." izumo:.....*trembling* Shima: "...Izumo, the charms in this room prevent use of your familiars. Please behave. If you follow his orders, I'm sure it...won't be so bad." ^^; izumo:.......fuck you. Shima: "..." *looks* "May I have a moment with her?" illuminati member: we'll be watching... *exits* felisia: .... Mephisto: "..." *offers a hand* felisia:...*hug*......will she be alright? Mephisto: "She's our child, isn't she? She has this..." -phone call- Mephisto: *answers* "Report." stocking: we're here.....the shrine is a lot more....erm....flashy, than i was expecting. *A fox mascot walks up, doing a little dance in front of Stocking* Fox mascot: OwO *dance dance dance* stocking:.... Rin: *shiny eyes* "Madoka, can we buy one? Pweeeeeease?" madoka: *checks her money* i think so. ^^ Rin: "Score!" Mephisto: "That is to be expected. Please ask Takara for assistance." -and so- Yukio: "??? Where did Takara go?" stocking: hmm.... *reviewing the pamphlet* ???: "Such a good visit..." stocking: .... ._.; you too?! *Nemu is dressed in tourist merchandise--and holding a tall fox puppet* stocking: *siiigh* Yukio: "So instead of helping us, you were off buying cheap souvenirs--" Nemu: "It was 1.2 million yen." Yukio: .__________. stocking: ............................................... *siiiiiiiiighs* Nemu: " 'I pray to Inari, god of the harvest, to fulfill my prayers--'" mike: ugh, what do you want no-....hn? you’re not the inexperienced brat, who even are you people? shiemi: we're izumo's friends. mike: so? Rin: o_____O "..." *whispers* "He put the freaking fox demon into that doll!!!" Nemu: "TELL US EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS PLACE AND IZUMO!!!" mike: and why should i? Nemu: "If you don't, we'll just ask someone else. Maybe a more worthy demon..." mike: O-O# ..... very well then. -elsewhere- izumo: ...... Shima: *smiles* "When I first joined the Academy...they told me you were some important person's daughter. But I didn't know how cute you would be..." izumo: you piece of shit. WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SIDE WITH THEM?! Shima: "...Because I hate everything." *smiles* izumo:....*grabs him by the neck* HOW THE HELL CAN YOU SAY SOMETHING SO STUPID?! THEY'RE YOUR FRIENDS, AREN'T THEY?! BON, KONEKOMARU, YOUR FAMILY, UNAGI, DONT THEY MEAN A THING TO YOU?! Shima: "...When Todo approached me to join the Academy...I felt so much hate towards everyone...Bon...Konekomaru...My brothers..." izumo:...... Shima: "...!!! B-But not you and Unagi! I can never be mad at ladies..." izumo: fuck off. the others, they're your friends.....right?! so then why betray them??! Shima: "...Heh...You got really passionate right then about 'friends.' I didn't see that coming! I thought you and I were the same." izumo: ......... Shima: "...Oh! I forgot..." *takes out a small fox doll* This was in your uniform..." izumo:....................... Shima: *places it in her hand* *turns and leaves* izumo:.....(i guess i deserve this......because im a real damn idiot....) *tears falling* {-….10…..9…..8….7…..6…..5….4….3….2…1….-} {Kamiki: "Izumo! Help me!"} {izumo: -n-;} {Kamiki: "Everyone is avoiding me like they hate meeeee!!!"} {izumo: of course they do, they disagree with your actions. *feeding tsukumo*} {tsukumo: *babble*} {Kamiki: T~T "So mean...Why won't you help your mother? Without Souji here, I need someone to listen to me..."} {izumo: get a grip, will you? usually its daughters asking for their mother's help, not the other way around!} {Kamiki: "Because a daughter should help their mother! I'm so busy with the housework--"} {???: your breakfast, lady tamamo.} {Kamiki: "Thank you, dear~"} {izumo: -_-;} {Kamiki: "You all love to serve me, yes~?"} {fox spirits: indeed, lady tamamo!} {izumo: DONT CODDLE HER! D8<} {-...-} {School Master: "Oh. It's you..."} {izumo: im here to drop off tsukumo kamiki?} {School Master: "...Okay." *turns her back, walks ahead*} {Tsukumo: Q_Q } {izumo:...tsukumo? whats wrong?} {Tsukumo: *hug* "I don't wanna! >~< } {izumo: its ok. do you still have your good luck charm?} {Tsukumo: *sniff* *nods*} {izumo: *smiles* then you wont be lonely. its ok.} {Tsukumo: "...Will I see you after?"} {izumo: of course....} {-...-} {Student: "She's talking to herself again...Ha ha..."} {izumo:....*running back home* .... ??? (who're those people?) } {???: "Ah, there she is...Little Izumo..."} {woman: hello miss kamiki. ^^} {izumo: ???} {woman: we're researchers from a demon research association, the illuminati.} {izumo: demons?} {woman: the creatures most people cant see, like your foxes.} {izumo: they're not demons! they're youkai! you-kai!} {???: *eyeroll*} {woman:....mind if we have a chat?} {izumo:....no thanks, i dont talk to strangers.} {woman: if you want to talk, here. *hands her a card; Maria Yoshida*} {-....-} {izumo: mom! we're home!} {Kamiki: "IZUMO! I need you to watch your sister..."} {izumo: ??} {Kamiki: "Souji wants to meet with me! It should be a good date..."} {izumo:....} {-...-} {souji: so yeah, they're planning some urbanization of the area.} {Kamiki: "Oh, wow...That would bring more visitors to the temple~"} {souji: indeed.} {Kamiki: *leans*} {souji: ?? tamamo?} {Kamiki: "Come home with me..."} {souji: eh??} {Kamiki: "We can play like we're sharing our home...And the children want to meet you."} {souji: tamamo...i.....} {Kamiki: "Yes~?"} {souji: i dont _want_ to see them.} {Kamiki: "...What?"} {souji: i do like you, but if you keep going on like that, i wont want to see you either.} {Kamiki: *eyes staring at him, glossy* "..."} {-something broke....inside my mom that day-} {izumo: mom, your barely home anymore, tsukumo's lonely!} {Kamiki: "SHUT UP! It's your fault..."} {izumo:......} {-...-} {Priest: "Chief Priest! Open the door!"} {izumo: ??? whats going on?} {???: "M-My Sou..."} {Priest: "??!!! W-what the hell--"} {*SLASH*} {*blood splatter*} {izumo: ??!! *running* mom?! mom?!} {*There is a figure with white hair...black eyes...a foxlike nose*} {izumo:...m...mo...m?} {???: "...Here...in Tama's path again...Getting in her way..." *turns, glaring at Izumo*} {izumo: !!!! *backing way* mom?} {Kamiki: "...YOU MADE SOUJI GO AWAY! If only I had NEVER HAD YOU!"} {izumo: .....} {*Kamiki lunges at Izumo, knocking down a wall*} {izumo: !!! tsukumo!!} {*Kamiki spots Tsukumo...and readies a claw over her daughter--*} {izumo: STOP IT!!} {*Kamiki brings down her claws*} {-one of the foxes grabs tsukumo and gets her away-} {izumo: !!! mike!} {Kamiki: "!!! You poor excuse for a divine servant!" *lunges against at her children*} mike: izumo, take your sister and run!} {izumo: *doing so* come on!} {Kamiki: *cackling growl*} {-outside-} {izumo: *dialing a number...* come on....} {???: yes?} {izumo: please! ninetales has possessed my mom! please help her!!} -….- madoka: *shocked* shiemi: *tears falling* izumo.... stocking: so they kept her family hostage and experimented on her mother?.... Yukio: "..." *pats Shiemi's shoulder* Rin: "...Then we just need to find this lab...Let's go!" shiemi: do you know where the lab is, mike? mike: underground. Rin: "???! Where underground, though?" *looking all over from the roof* -...- {izumo:...tsukumo?....tsukumo?!} {*The room is empty but Izumo*} {*The door's lock clicks open*} {izumo: ???} {*Yoshida appears*} {Yoshida: "..."} {izumo: where's tsukumo?!} {Yoshida: "Izumo...Listen to me...I sent her away--"} {izumo: ???!!!} {Yoshida: "For her safety, I put her up for adoption, so that they...so that they couldn't..."} {izumo: couldnt WHAT?!} {Yoshida: "..." *shakes her head* "They can't experiment on your mother anymore...So they want her children..."} {izumo: *her stomach drops*} {Yoshida: "...I came to tell you...because we are escaping. Stay here while I finish preparations..."} {izumo: dont you lock me in here!} {Yoshida: "..." *nods* "Okay...but don't open this door until I get back to get us out of here. Agreed?"} {izumo:....} {-...-} {Yoshida: *in one of the rooms, downloading items to a USB* "..." ("I was so wrong...This is inhuman, more than I thought...")} {???: "Yoshida?"} {Yoshida: "!!!"} {Gedouin: "You're up late~"} {Yoshida: "Sorry. I was double-checking files I misplaced--"} {Gedouin: "That's not all that you misplaced..."} {Yoshida: "?!!!"} {izumo: let me go!} {Gedouin: "Hmm...Someone forgot to lock the doors..."} {Yoshida: "..."} {izumo: ......} {Gedouin: "Let's review the evidence. First, you knew I was going to work with young Izumo here. Second, the search history on your computer shows you were looking up ADOPTION. AGENCIES. Third...you really think I'm this stupid..."} {Yoshida: "..." *glances at Izumo*} {izumo:.........DONT JUST STAND THERE, RUN!!} {Yoshida: "!!!" *takes off--*} {Gedouin: "Seize her!"} {*Guards grab Yoshida--and knock her to the floor*} {Yoshida: *grunts, struggling*} {Gedouin: *approaches Yoshida* "..." *slams his heel onto Yoshida's head*} {Yoshida: "UMPH!"} {Gedouin: "You betrayed me!" *KICK* "You betrayed this lab!" *KICK* "You betrayed...Lucifer!" *slams his foot into her mouth*} {Gedouin: *pant pant, doubled over* "Y-You!" *points to a guard* "Elixir 1021, now."} {Yoshida: "!!!" *starts crying*} {Gedouin: "Ah, good...You _do_ remember. This concoction developed from our experiments on Tamamo has amazing potential. If it works--and I'm a genius, so of course it will--it will make you my first immortal, my dear Yoshida...But, if you're body rejects it...Well, it'll have to be closed-casket."} {Yoshida: *muttering*} {Gedouin: "I can't hear you--"} {Yoshida: "DON'T DO THIS TO ME! D-Do it...Do it to her! Do it to Izumo!"} {izumo: *heart drops*} {Gedouin: "...Say the oath..."} {Yoshida: "W-We will guide the world...to unity...No demons...No humans...One world...We-We brave warriors...no matter the trial...will go forth...I pledge...I PLEDGE! Please, don't kill me!"} {Gedouin: "..." *takes her chin* *smiles* "Good...We need to have followers..."} {Yoshida: *shudders...but smiles*} {*INJECT*} {Yoshida: "!!!"} {izumo: !!!!!} {Gedouin: "Because...they make the best martyrs..."} {Yoshida: "..." *the color fades from her eyes*" ..." *seizes, twitching, falling to the floor*} {izumo:......} {Yoshida: *panting...as her skin turns deathly white...and then starts to crackle* "N-N-N-"} {scientist: *backing away*} {Gedouin: "Keep the cameras rolling...We'll add it to the file."} {izumo: *shaking*} {Yoshida: *ripping at her arm, as if trying to claw it off...as her fingers fall off* "NOOOOOO--" *the skin along her mouth falls away, exposing teeth*} izumo: *sobbing, clutching the fox doll* -outside- madoka: there it is. dream town inari. stocking: everyone stay close. Yukio: *looks* "Sure enough...Illuminati uniformed guards--" *MUNCH* Yukio: "!!!" *turns* Rin: *nom nom nom--* "???" stocking: you brought snacks from the plane here?! Rin: "Na-uh! I bought these in town! The soba is great..." shiemi: *shoves grass sandwich into his mouth* Rin: "UMPH!" -and so- guard:.....hey. Rin: *walks up with Kuro* madoka: excuse us, we were looking for the bathroom? Guard #2: "Proof of residence, please?" madoka: oh, we're from out of town. -something smacks the guard in the face.....a rock?- konekomaru: *armed with slingshot* Guard #2: "Ouch!" *clutching his nose* guard: what the heck? Rin: "???" Yukio: "Remember--they are humans. No killing." -one pummeling of guards later- Bon: "...'Satan Slash'?" Rin: >3< "I couldn't think of a name in time!" madoka: i thought it was cool. stocking:...........oh my god. -_-; Rin: -\\\\- "Let's just get through this maze of villainy and rescue Izumo--" *throws open the doors* "...My God, it's horrifying..." -the inside of the building is....a mall? rather empty though- Bon: "...I always knew malls were evil." Rin: *nods* Yukio: -_-# "Stop." stocking: no one's here.....no.... keep on your toes. Rin: *nods* "...!!! Stocking, look..." stocking: *glances* *Someone is walking...* Rin: "Someone we could talk to..." stocking: um. excuse me, miss? ???: *moans* madoka: are you ok ma'am? *She turns--and has blood pouring out her mouth* madoka: o________________o;;;;; stocking: .... konekomaru: .... shiemi: ..... *The eyes are discolored...the skin is corroding...* konekomaru: ZOMBIE! AND NOT THE MR SID KIND EITHER!! Yukio: "It's a ghoul!" *aims--* Ghoul: "Huuuuuuungry..." madoka: is it...talking? Yukio: "!!!" *fires* Rin: Q__Q "A talking ghoul?" Yukio: "Zombie." konekomaru: so it is like mr sid then... Rin: "I ALREADY ESTABLISHED THAT! WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?!" stocking: certain zombies have their soul still bound to their body after death, be it naturally or artificially. in this case, im going to assume the latter. Yukio: *nods* "These zombies are more like parasites than just demons inhabiting bodies--hence, the human is still in there..." Rin: "So why not exorcise the parasite out?" stocking: its not that simple. they've already rotted to the point of no return. Yukio: *nods* "Once in necrosis, Sid is the only known case of having his soul persist. This...is a dead body. It is best to put her at rest..." Bon: "...Look at the name tag...'Experiment'..." konekomaru: um.....guysss? Zombie: "..." *eyes open and stare at Konekomaru* -theres more than one- stocking:....ok, lets ballroom blitz these fuckers. Zombie 2: "Hunger..." Yukio: "Then go for the head--" Rin: *looks behind* "!!! Like the one...you already shot?!" Zombie 1: *standing up again* Yukio: "!!!" konekomaru: new plan. SLASH AND RUN YO! Bon: "And find the entrance to the underground!" -elsewhere- Lucifer: "..." *yawns* *shifts in his hospital bed* -elsewhere- madoka: *pant pant* i think....we're safe now.... Rin: "For now...But we still haven't found the entrance." *taps his sword on the floor* madoka: ....i just hope the others are alright. -elsewhere- stocking: ugh...ow.....hello? Yukio: "Stocking?" stocking: oh, thank goodness. where are the others? Yukio: "I don't know..." -the doors open- stocking: ?? ...!!!!!! shiemi: nnnh?....!!!! Rin: "What the H is that stuff?!" madoka: *fires arrows* shiemi: nee! barrier! Nee: "NEE!" *summons vines* Chimera 1: *claws at the vine barrier* konekomaru: s-someone help! Chimera 2: *drools over Konekomaru* *Banging is heard against the wall next to Konekomaru* konekomaru: ??!! *BLAST* Chimera 2: "???!!!" *A giant paw smacks Chimera 2 into the wall* konekomaru: thanks kuro! -BOOOOM from another wall as vines burst in- shiemi: koneko! kuro! Kuro: <I'm hungry! Why is there no food?!> *looks up* *sniffs* Chimera 1: *collapsed under the vines* shiemi: *offers grass sandwich* Kuro: "..." T~T -elsewhere- Yukio: "On your left!" *bang bang bang* stocking: *slice* damn, this thing keeps regenerating. Yukio: "..." *light bulb* *takes something out of his jacket...* stocking: *flies up* go for it! Yukio: *tosses up the rope* chimera: *ROOOAR* Yukio: "PULL!" stocking: *doing so* Yukio: "Now slice and blow it up! It'll regenerate into the floor itself!" *fires shots* stocking: *x slash* Yukio: *kicks into the Chimera's head* chimera: *shrieeek* Yukio: *HEAD SHOT* chimera: *falls* Yukio: *loud sigh* "Good work." shiemi: yuki? stocking? are you in there? stocking: shiemi good timing! Yukio: "Who is with you?" konekomaru: im here! Yukio: "Hmm...How did you escape?" konekomaru: shiemi saved my butt. shiemi: ehehe. ^^; konekomaru: and kuro's here too. Kuro: *stomach growl* <Thanks...> Yukio: "Find an escape path?" shiemi: not yet, but we should get the others out too. Yukio: "Right. All of you, follow the path. Stocking and I will cut ourselves out." konekomaru:.....!!! shiemi, you get the others out, i'll be right back. *runs* stocking: *slashes ceiling* what the.....!!! YOU! Shima: "Hey, Stocking. You're looking great." stocking: dont give me that shit. *glances* oh dear GOD what the hell is THAT?! Gedoin: -_-; "That's hurtful, even coming from a future experiment candidate..." stocking: ??!! shiemi: !? Gedoin: "Allow me to introduce myself: I'm Dr. Michael Gedoin, and I am a genius." ^w^ stocking: oh good god you're as bad as an eyesore as grossman. *swords out* please drop dead immediately. Gedoin: D:< "YOU FLESHY INSULTING DEMON/ANGEL HYDRID! WHEN I AM THROUGH PLANTING THE FOX SPIRIT INTO IZUMO, I'LL TIE YOU DOWN TO A TABLE AND DETERMINE WHERE THE ANGEL STARTS AND THE DEMON BEGINS!" *stamps his foot* >3< Shima: ._.; "Um...Spoilers, boss?" stocking: cute but that isnt gonna happen. tell you what. you surrender izumo /and probably shima too/ and let me slice you into gibs, and we'll be on our merry way, ok? Shima: "D'aw, I knew you loved me." ^w^ "...But I'm not leaving here." konekomaru: then we'll just drag you back by the ear like usual. -DOUBLE BOOM- shiemi: O-O; Rin: "BOOM, BABY!" Bon: -_-; "I can't believe you're still on with that..." madoka: ok, we're out! Yukio: "...You three are late." stocking: took you long enough! Bon: -_-# Rin: "!!! Hey! We were working as fast as we can?! What were y'all up to? We were-- ...Is that a demon?" stocking:...if your referring to that...._thing_ next to shima, that's just an insult to demons all over. shame on you. Rin: -3- "I'm demon, too...It's hard to keep track of them all. Not like I got a Pokedex or something..." Gedoin: -_-# "I'm human, you uncultured swine. Shima, fetch Izumo." Shima: *salute* "Ay-ay!" madoka: *helping nemu out* stocking: ..... (something seems off about this....) Gedoin: "Vermin...infesting this facility...Obstructing my progress to unlock immortality..." stocking: immortality, huh? Yukio: "And unlocking that secret from Izumo...to make an elixir...which means those zombies were attempts to create immortals..." Gedoin: *sneers* shiemi: y-you... you.... rotten sack of CRAP! Gedoin: *smiles* "Dear, I think you underestimate the gullibility of tourists...especially those who can't even taste mind-altering substances in what they consume or imbibe." stocking: *glares* Rin: "Those zombies...were the tourists...who ate the food..." *feels his forehead* konekomaru: just touch the back of your throat and puke it out! Rin: "...I-I'm fine! I'm a demon! I can handle that stuff, Konekomaru!" >3< Gedoin: "It was Lord Lucifer's compassion that allowed such meals to be prepared...so that the subjects would feel less pain during the experiments towards immortality..." stocking: you're horrible. Gedoin: "Hmm...'Horrible' does come from the root word regarding 'that which stimulates the body,' so you aren't wrong..." -elsewhere- izumo: .... Shima: "..." shiemi:....!! izumo! Rin: "What is she wearing?" Yukio: "...!!! For a ceremony..." stocking: *jumps up* hold on! izumo: ?! *SLICE* *BLOCKED* stocking: damn. rin! hold off shima, bon and i will go for izumo! Bon: "Right!" Rin: "On it!" *leaps up* Shima: "Oh, good...I didn't want to have to hit a woman..." Rin: "YOU'LL BE HITTING NOTHING, YOU SON OF A--" *PUNCH* Rin: "!!!" *coughs up blood* madoka: !!! *jumps up* Shima: "..." *grabs Rin by the hair--and throws him at the wall* Rin: "AAAAAAH--" madoka: *nice catch* Rin: "Th-Thanks..." Shima: "..." *prepares a stance* Rin: "...Look, Madoka. This is how a friend welcomes us..." Stocking: izumo! lets go! Bon: "We're going to get you out--" izumo: forget it. stocking: ?! izumo: this is _my_ problem to deal with! i'll handle it myself. Bon: "Would you stop being so stubborn?!" izumo: ..... Bon: "Can't you just trust us?!" izumo: how can i trust anyone with this? {Yoshido: "Can't you trust me?"} {Izumo's Mother: "Help..."} izumo: i couldnt rely on them, so why should i rely on you?! Bon: "...Gah! You're still so stubborn!" *punches an Illuminati guard* Illuminati: "UMPH!" *falls off the railing* stocking: *lift* izumo: h-hey! Bon: "Good thing we're stubborn too--" *punches through more guards* guard 2: *wilhelm scream* Bon: "Okumura! Slice a path out of--" *Dark energy swirls around Bon's neck--choking him* izumo: !! Shima: *controlling his familiar* "...I am your friend. So I am asking you, as a friend...Stop. Please." *looks at Izumo and Stocking* "This is how it has to be..." stocking: let him go! izumo: why dont you help him then? isnt he your friend too? why focus on me?! stocking: then why are you crying? izumo: ??!!....ah.....ah..... i have to.....f-for....for.... stocking: ??? izumo: my...my sister.... a-and my mother.... stocking: ?! Shima: *lowers Bon, unconscious* "..." *marches up to Izumo, past Stocking* izumo:...... Shima: "Then do it for them..." *rests a hand on her shoulder* stocking:......do you know where izumo's mother and sister are? Shima: *turns, smiles* "Her mom's right this way..." stocking:.... rin! Rin: *rushes at Shima* Shima: *sighs* *pushes Izumo gently aside, assumes a battle pose, and--* Rin: *leaps over Shima* Shima: "?!!" Rin: *--and runs into the room...* izumo: !!!! wait! she's possessed by the ninetails! Rin: "Like I can't handle that--" ???: "Daiitoku funnu youketsu..." stocking: ?? *Yamantaka emerges again--and knocks Rin off the walkway* Rin: "?!!!!" *BLAST* *Sounds of metal crunching are heard--as something looms over the others* madoka: rin!! stocking: ??!!....you have to be shitting me. *The chimeras emerged...now in one towering mass* Yukio: "Everyone, get onto Kuro!" stocking: *picks up izumo and hops on* -underground- scientist:...whats taking them so long? *BLAST* scientist: FKHYHDJH>J *A blue flame explodes throughout the lab* scientist: EEEK! *A figure falls through the flames--* Rin: "AAAAAAAAAH--" *And falls flat on his face* Rin: "..." *lifts himself up, looks around* "???" *looks at one scientist* "Yo, doc? Where's Mrs. Kamiki?" tamamo: *groan* Rin: "Oh, sweet--that answers that question..." *gets up, walks to her* "Ma'am?" tamamo: nnnhnn... Rin: "It's okay...I'm going to get you--" Gendoin: "FOOL!" Rin: "???" *looks* "...Who, me?" Gendoin: "SON OF SATAN! YOU WILL NOT LEAVE HERE WITH MY EXPERIMENTS! FOR THE BENEFITS OF LORD LUCIFER, THE LIGHT BRINGER, OUR GLORIOUS LEADER, I--" Rin: "SHUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUP!!!" Gendoin: .w.; *Rin's fist slams into Gendoin's cheek--knocking him across the floor* Gendoin: X~X Rin: "..." *shakes his hand off* "Blech...All covered in sweat...Human, demon--like I give a shit...I just know one thing...I can't stand to see someone tortured...and I can't stand to see someone cry..." *aims his sword at Gendoin* "But for you, I'll make an exception..." tamamo: *muttering* Gendoin: "P-Please...I have so much progress left--" Rin: "After what you did to her...to Izumo...No..." tamamo: *SCREEEEEEECH* -upstairs- izumo: !!!! mom?? Yukio: "...Oh no..." tamamo: *rushing up the stairs, screaming* Yukio: "...The nine tails..." izumo: *tears falling* tamamo: *heavy breathing* pl....ease.....end......me..... Yukio: "...Izumo...Your family knows the most about exorcising the Nine Tails..." izumo: i dont....know what to do.... Yukio: "...We have to contain the Nine Tails...As long as it is within your mother, she is contained--" ???: "Fufufu~" izumo: ?! Gendoin: *climbs up* "I can think of a few ways..." Rin: "?!!! Hey! You get back here!" Gendoin: "This vessel cannot contain it...So you have your choice: the Nine Tails is released, the old vessel dies...or we find a younger one." izumo:......*shaking* tamamo:.....no......this ends....with me.......*shambles over to izumo....and hugs her* im just glad.....i saw you one more time....mama loves you...so much.... izumo:.....m-mom..... Gendoin: "!!! Now wait a minute--she is the property of the Illuminati! You can't just--" Rin: *chokes Gendoin* "I said quiet..." tamamo:......*takes an empty syringe from him..........and jabs her neck* Bon: "!!!" Rin: "?!" izumo: mo....MOM!! tamamo: *collapses and twitches...........before going still* izumo: u...uuuu.....*breaks down sobbing* MOM!!!! stocking: *shocked* madoka: ...... Rin: "..." *lets go of Gendoin, leaving him on the floor...approaches with Madoka...limping* Bon: "..." Gendoin: "..." *whimpers...then starts crying* madoka:....do you regret what all you've done? Gendoin: "...Yes...I regret it all...I regret every mistake they all made...to prevent me from seizing the Nine Tails' power..." Yukio: *checking the corpse* stocking:............. Gendoin: "This was...my one chance to earn Lucifer's blessing..." *stands, starts limping* stocking:................ Gendoin: "I'll just have to get back to the drawing board..." -SHIV- stocking:......*demonic glare* get the hell out of my sight. Gendoin: "..." *coughs up blood, looks down at the blade through his chest* "N-No...I'm special...You can't do this to me..." -sword right through the head- stocking: ....... Gendoin: "..." *smiles...and collapses* stocking: *knocks him off the walkway* ........still an eyesore to the very end.... Bon: "..." *looks at Izumo* izumo:.............. madoka:...come on! lets go! ???: *clap clap clap* madoka: ?? stocking: ?! ???: "Great work, Stocking. Although, I should be mad, since we were kind of coworkers." Bon: "?!!! Shima!" shiemi: you! Shima: "Well..." *picks up a box* "I guess Lucifer will need this...Thanks for giving us enough to start with, though. That was really cool." shiemi: oh no you dont! *begins to run after him* Shima: *sighs* "Shiemi, please..." *holds up a hand* -is that....ballroom blitz playing? is it...getting louder?- Shima: "??? ...Oh, fu--" kinzou: RENZOOOOOOOOU!!!! YOU ARE SOOOOOO GROUNDEEEEED!!!! Shima: .____.;;; "...That's only if you can catch me, bro." *looks at Shiemi, winks* "Well, guess we'll have to do this again next time~" shiemi: *flips him off* izumo: wait! tsukumo...w-where is- Shima: >3< "So mean..." *looks at Izumo...smiles* "Didn't you hear? She was adopted." izumo:...... Shima: "Well, until we meet again...and that'll be soon enough” -the next morning- shiemi: so stocking went home, as did rin and madoka... Yukio: "...I am sending Bon to Kyoto to speak with the Shima family. You should return to Death City as well..." izumo: ...... i'll stay for now.....attend mom's funeral.... Yukio: "...Izumo...I'm sorry." izumo:......i still dont know where tsukumo is......if she's happy... ???: "Of course she is." izumo: ?? Nemu: *the rabbit puppet has a key in its mouth, which drops into Izumo's hand* "A gift from my benefactor...to show you where that Illuminati woman placed your sister." izumo:...... Nemu: "You should know...that the woman put your sister in the care of True Cross--" izumo: ?? why didnt you tell me?! Yukio: "?!!!" ("Mephisto?") Nemu: "I was instructed not to. If you knew, that attention would alert the Illuminati where to find your sister, wouldn't it?" izumo:......right....... -elsewhere- Bon: "..." *stands outside the door* izumo: *exits*..... Bon: "...Hey." *picks up a duffle bag* izumo:...hey......t-thanks....for not giving up on me....i guess..... Bon: "...It was everyone who didn't give up on you. You know how hard-headed those fools are..." izumo:...yeah...... Bon: "...You eat?" izumo:....not yet.... Bon: "...I'm heading to Kyoto and was going to have some noodles before the trip. Come on." izumo:....thanks, bon. -elsewhere- Rin: *looking out the window* madoka:....*holds his hand* Rin: "..." *small squeeze* madoka:....*lean* you ok? Rin: "Yeah...Just thinking how Yukio and I...never got to say goodbye..." madoka:....... Rin: "...I always wish I could have met her..." madoka:....im sure she was a wonderful person. Rin: "..." *shakes his head* "I don't know...People who fall for devils seem...kind of suspect." madoka: *smile* i fell for you, didnt i? ^^ Rin: "..." *nods* "So..." madoka: *kiss on the cheek* Rin: -\\\\- *sniffs, wipes his eyes* -elsewhere- Kid: "..." stocking: *hugs kid* im home. Kid: *pat pat* "I'm glad..." stocking: guess we can still spend valentines together, huh? Kid: *smiles* "Anytime..." *strokes her face* stocking: *chuckles, tearing up* our first valentines as a married couple, and i almost missed it. Kid: "..." *holds her* "It's okay..." stocking: *kiss* Kid: *smooch* -elsewhere- mrs shima: *stunned* Bon: "..." *bows* "I'm so sorry..." kinzou: i dont want to believe it either, but i saw it with my own two eyes... mamushi:....i dont think i should tell unagi about this, it would break her heart. Bon: *nods* "For now, the Academy is trying to keep it under wraps--but with social media, it's going to come out..." mamushi:.... Mr. Shima: "Thank you, Bon...I'll see you out..." Bon: "..." *walks with him and Kinzou* Mr. Shima: "..." *nods to Kinzou* "Tell him..." Bon: "???" kinzou: .... its ok. *whispers* he's on our side. Bon: "..." *slow head turn* "What did you say?" *grabs Kinzou by the collar* kinzou: SHHHHH *whispers* he's our eyes on the inside! Bon: *whispers* "You knew about the Illuminati? You knew all they were doing--and you let Renzou help them?!" kinzou: its a long complicated story. we'll explain later. Bon: "...I hope the Illuminati doesn't kill him...because when I see him again...I might." -elsewhere- ???: *coughing* *The man in the mask stumbles to the floor* -elsewhere- *A man in a cloak enters the cemetery* -silence....- *He approaches a gravestone* ???: "...I'm failing, Rain." -......- Chuuya: "I was supposed to give Sonia what she needed...what she deserves. Now...once again, we are assaulted by outside forces." -....- Chuuya: "...I'm considering my options carefully...but right now, I don't want to be logical...I want to give into what I feel...And...I'm scared..." -.....- Chuuya: "...What we learned about...about him...I want to kill him. Even if it burned down the entire Mafia...I want him to die." -......- Chuuya: "..." *shudders* "Why now...Why is this happening?" -...........- Chuuya: "..." *cries, covering his face* -......- Chuuya: *sits there, just passing the time with his head in his hands* -silence....- Chuuya: *inhales* "...I can't do this to Sonia..." -.....- Chuuya: "..." *shakes his head* "I don't like it..." -......- Chuuya: "...but I don't see another choice..." -....- Chuuya: "..." *stands up, rests a hand on the gravestone* "I will..." -.....- Chuuya: "She'll be safe...I promise." -elsewhere- leo:......ngh...*stumbling....throwing up into a trash can* *cough cough* pushkin: <easy now.> *holding her hair back* katya: *pats her back* <jeez, dinner didnt go well with you last night?> leo: *panting* <i...i dont know....p-perhaps its just a bug...> Gin: "...Leo...A word?" leo: ...y-yes? Gin: *walks with her, holding her up* "...How are things with you and Motojiro?" leo:....*smiles* well. Gin: *nods* "...I am going to ask a potentially invasive question." leo: what do you mean? Gin: "...Have you been intimate?" leo: *blushing....remembering*....yes. Gin: "...Protection?" leo:.......*covers her mouth* you dont think i-....d-do you? Gin: "That is up to a trained professional to determine." leo: .....r-right. Gin: "...I know we are underground, but we'll find a way..." -elsewhere- Vulcan: *enters Deathbucks* "I know, I know--I'm late--" Kepuri: "No kidding!" >3< Yohei: *sips his coffee* Dr. John: ^^;; Stein: "..." miranda: *washing dishes and humming* Vulcan: "The patient is meeting us here?" foien: hello. ^^ serina: *nods* Vulcan: "...Hey." Dr. John: "Welcome, Foien. How are you?" foien: nervous, but given whats going on, hard not to be, haha. Yohei: *nods* "Well, I took what Fear Factory and...someone else had developed in limb replacements--" Kepuri: "--which I perfected." *beaming* Vulcan: *eyeroll* "And I re-designed to be powered by your flame abilities, if need be" Stein: *lays out the blueprint for Foien* foien: neat. Dr. John: "It's a lot to take in, so you can look over it..." foien: i appreciate it. serina: and i'll be here as medical assistance and moral support. foien: aww. ^///^ Stein: "We just have to finalize a date...John will lead on it, I'm there as backup." -elsewhere- kirako: morning, kids. ^^ *making breakfast* atsushi: morning mom. kenji: good mornin' aya: mornin' Kyoka: "Good morning." sylvia: *nods* Kyoka: "Need any assistance?" -elsewhere- Walter: *rings a doorbell* "..." *looking around* goethe: zzzz <hans. check the door. the bed is too cozy.> hans: *sweatdrop* *answers* yes? Walter: "Top of the mornin' to ya!" *holds up mail* "I brought this in!" hans: oh, thank you. Walter: "Any assignments to pass along to the others?" -elsewhere- mahiru:....*yaaaawn* Kuro: "Zzz..." mahiru:..... O.O Kuro: "Mmm..." mahiru: um. kuro? Kuro: *opens one eye* "...What?" mahiru: >/////////< why are you in human form in bed with me? Kuro: "...It was warm, comfy, and bigger." mahiru:.... .//////.;;;; Kuro: "...So, what's for breakfast?" -elsewhere- Belkia: =w= *humming* ayami: zzzz.... -she has some bandages on her neck- Belkia: *cuddles...kiss behind the ear* ayami: mmm, hmhm~ Belkia: ^^;; "Sorry..." ayami: hmm? oh this? its fine. Belkia: "I just...get a little excited..." ayami: *hug* u///u it felt nice. Belkia: *strokes her back* "Okay...I really enjoyed last night..." ayami: i enjoyed it too~ -elsewhere- Mikuni: *munching on Valentine's chocolates* =w= "Say 'aw,' Abel..." abel: *doesnt say anything cause she's a doll.* Mikuni: "...Oh! You want me to have it? Well, it'll go straight to my hips, but for you, anything." *pops another chocolate into his mouth* >w< "Ooooo, caramel! Good call..." abel: .... -elsewhere- Daisy: *grumbling, looking out the window* louisa: everything alright? Daisy: "Just finding it gross out today--all the lovey-dovey Valentine shit." louisa: ah, i see. ^^; Daisy: "And you just know Fitz is going to head to the shops as soon as all the candy is 50 percent off...He ask you to do that already?" -elsewhere- misono: *has a party hat on* -_-; shinoa: happy valentines slash birthday~ ^^ Lily: *blows party favor* misono: -///- jeez. mahiru: ^^ Hugh + Kuro: *staring at the cake* "..." licht: *nom* thank you for inviting us to the festivities, king of hearts. Hyde: *scooping ice cream onto his slice* "Totes." -elsewhere- Todoroki: *holding a small bag* "..." fuyumi: oh? Todoroki: "Yes. A classmate gave it to me." *hands it to Fuyumi* fuyumi: oh, um. *blink* Todoroki: "I wasn't going to eat them, and I politely thanked the classmate." fuyumi: ah. Todoroki: *sits down* "How were your students today?" -elsewhere- Izuku: ^\\\^ "Thanks..." tsuyu: ^^ glad you like them. Izuku: "They're really cute! I love them!" tsuyu: it took me a while to decide what to make. i was considering frog shaped, but that might be a bit cliche and also kinda cannibalistic, so i opted for the lily pad shape. Izuku: .w.;;; "Good call." *pats her hand* tsuyu: ^v^ -elsewhere- Bakugo: "TAKE IT AND LIKE IT!" >\\\\< *hands a gift bag* itsuka: oh, thanks! ^^ Bakugo: >\\\\\< "Good! You're welcome!" itsuka: *smooch on the cheek* -elsewhere- Giriko: "Okay, kiddo--come over here!" *holds out his arms* anna: *trying to crawl over* Giriko: "You can do it!" anna: ba! Giriko: "Daddy! Yep! Crawl on over to Daddy..." -she made it- arachne: yay! you did it. ^^ *claps* anna: ^o^ Giriko: *picks her up* "Growing girl--getting better every day." *hug* -elsewhere- Free: *covered in flour* "I think that's enough dough..." ^^; milia: *aCHOO* eruka: *snaps pic* Free: "Heh...Let's pop one of these into the oven...See how it turns out." -elsewhere- erina: .~.;;; Guard: "??? Working here today?" erina: *salutes, hiding something in her pocket* y-yes! Guard: "That sucks...No date for Valentine's?" erina: guess not. ^^;;; Guard: "Dang. Yeah, I'm missing my date night...Gonna have to make it up later." *half-hearted salute* "Good luck with the prisoner." erina: you too, haha... *waits for them to leave....slides the chocolate in the slot* Fyodor: "???" *looks up* erina: h-hope you like this. >////<; Fyodor: "..." *smiles* "Thank you..." erina: .//////. Fyodor: *opens the box* "Oh my..." -its a box of heart shaped white chocolates with a note that reads 'hope you like them. i worked pretty hard on them'- Fyodor: "..." *picks one up, looks it all over* "..." *slowly puts it in his mouth* erina: how is it? Fyodor: "Not bad..." erina: t-thanks. .//////. Fyodor: *smiles* "Thank you..." *licks a bit of the white chocolate off his finger* -elsewhere- Jacqueline: "I know it's not very pricy or anything..." kim: *nom*....yummy =u= Jacqueline: *smiles* "Glad you like them..." -elsewhere- Ivan: "..." zoey: *making chocolates to send to fyodor. mixed with her own blood* Gogol: <What is with this holiday for some people?> yana: <dont ask me. love does some fucked up shit to some people.> Gogol: <Oh? Is that what you call what the nurse is doing--'love'?> yana: ..... <as i said. 'fucked up shit'.> Gogol: <Jeez, I need a more positive example...Haven't you seen good instances?> yana:......................<hell if i'd know...> *turns to her side* Gogol: "???" <Huh...Not even an inanimate object? For example...> *hugs himself* <I just love my coat!> >w< elizaveta: <it's a nice coat.> ^^ <right leila?> 'leila': *click* <its a nice and fancy coat if i do say so myself, hoho!> Gogol: <Hee hee...> -elsewhere- lana: edgaaar~ Poe: "???" lana: *smooooch and hands him a notebook* hope you like it~ Poe: ^\\\\^ "Of course--I can't wait to fill it up with love poems..." lana: ^///^ -elsewhere- Arthur: *holding up a chocolate sword* "...I love you." tamaki: >////< oh my gosh. Arthur: "This is amazing...I can slice down dragons _and_ coat them in delicious chocolate before preparing the meal." -elsewhere- Yumi: *hug* lord death: =//////= *purrs* Yumi: *strokes his head* "My reaper..." lord death: *snuggles* =////w////=~<3 Yumi: *strokes him* *kisses his lips* lord death: mmmm~<3 u////u Yumi: *rubs his hip--with a small scratch* lord death: *happy shiver* Yumi: *kisses his neck* -elsewhere- Meme: *knocking on doors* "We have Valentine's cookies!" rowena: thank you, miss meme. ^^ Meme: "You're welcome!" *holds up a bat cookie* "Spooky..." -elsewhere- sonia: *petting mito* Chuuya: *enters* mito: *mreow* sonia: *smiles at him* Chuuya: "..." *weak smile* sonia: *hug* Chuuya: *hug* "How are you?" sonia: ok...did you see mama? Chuuya: *nods* "I did...I'm sorry you weren't there..." sonia: what did you and mama talk about? Chuuya: "We...talked about you." sonia: ...... Chuuya: "...Do you miss school?" sonia:.....not really. Chuuya: "...Well, that wasn't what I was expecting...I thought you liked school." sonia:....it was ok....but i couldnt relate to the other kids... Chuuya: "...Well, you do need to learn...So we have to figure out how you're going to do that..." sonia:....... Chuuya: "And I'm not the best at enough subjects..." *scratches his cheek* "I think I'll need to bring in some help with home schooling..." sonia:.....*hugs* Chuuya: "!!! ..." *pat pat* sonia: i love you, papa. Chuuya: "I love you, too..." *hug* "I guess I'll have to figure out who to teach you science--" *BOOM* Chuuya: ._.;;; ayako: its cool! no one died! this time at least. miura: -_-; Motojiro: *pops in* "Chuuya! I got new music!" *his sleeve is on fire* "I was going to listen to it after finish my art project, writing some poetry, and engaging in some P.E., Care to join?!" *his hair is now on fire* Chuuya: .______.;;;; "..." ("...He'd still be a better teacher than other former Mafia members...") ayako: how much damn free time do you even have?! Motojiro: "I multitask!" *fire is now going to his pants* Gin: "...Hence the explosion." leo: D8> *has a fire extinguisher out* Chuuya: "...Kajii, do you like teaching?" Motojiro: "Sure I do! I got certification! But I can't teach pottery." *grim face* "Never again..." Chuuya: .____.;;; *looks at Sonia* "...Would you like Kajii as a teacher?" sonia: can i? *shiny eyes* Chuuya: "..." *smiles* "Sure!" sonia: *beaming smile* Chuuya: "Okay...But Kajii, be safe with her. I don't want Sonia hurt." Motojiro: "I swear, I will take care of Sonia like she's my own child!" leo:...r-right... >////>;;;; Motojiro: "??? Lemondrop? Are you well?" leo: ?? oh, of course, motojiro. ^^ -elsewhere- Kafka: *opens the door to his apartment, marches inside...falls onto the couch pillow...lets out a small groan* -silence- etta pillow: *says nothing, as it is a pillow* Kafka: "..." *holds the pillow, hugs it* -no answer- Kafka: "...I hate Valentine's Day..." -...- Kafka: "Everyone else is happy...No one would ever want me. No one wants me. I'm not fun or attractive or...anything." -the pillow remains silent- Kafka: *closes his eyes* "...I wish I was dead….I can't even do that well...I'm going to just be alone...I'm not like Goethe or anyone who can get a relationship to work...I'm only good at work." -at least the pillow still loves you- Kafka: "..." *looks at the pillow's face* -such a sweet, darling face...- Kafka: "..." *blinks away tears...nears the pillow's face...* -...- Kafka: *smooch* >\\\\< -if the pillow had blood, it would be blushing- Kafka: *small moan, as he holds the pillow close, kisses again* "Oh, Etta..." *shifts on the couch, hugging the pillow, kisses the pillow again--* Walter: "Dude, you got it baaaaaaaaad..." Kafka: O_________o *awkward look back...* "...How long?" Walter: "Before you took your pants off, thank goodness..." *munching on a Pop Tart* Kafka: "...Why are you here?" Walter: "Mom had a hot date, so she needed the apartment." Kafka: "...Gross." Walter: "I know, right?!" ^w^ Kafka: "...Could I have, like, five minutes?" Walter: "Sure thing. I'll heat up a pizza." Kafka: "Y-Yeah, thanks..." -elsewhere- Kid: *hug* stocking: hehe~<3 Kid: "Happy Valentine's Day, sweetness..." stocking: happy valentines to you too~ *slides up under his shirt* Kid: *moans* "Oh, yes..." stocking: *licking his chest* Kid: "A-Aaaaaah~" >\\\\\\< stocking: yeah, you like that, dont you~? Kid: "Y-Yes...I want your lips right there..." stocking: *kiss* *sliding her hand down his pants* Kid: .\\\\\. *small squeak* stocking: *smirks and squeezes tightly* Kid: *gasps* "...Oh my~" stocking: does that feel good, honey~? Kid: "It feels amazing..." *moaning, squirming* stocking: *rubbing and licking a nipple* Kid: *louder moan...he's getting harder in her hand* stocking: good boy~ Kid: "I-I want to be good for you, my queen..." stocking: *smirks* close your eyes, its gonna be a long night~ -elsewhere- Mr. Tsubaki: *staring out the window* "..." -...- -someone is exiting a shop across the street....its tsubaki!- Mr. Tsubaki: "!!!" QwQ "..." *watches* -you know you cant go see her now...- Mr. Tsubaki: "..." *paws at the window* {tsubaki: hehe~ *snuggles the fox* ^///^} {Mr. Tsubaki: ^w^ *licks her hand*} {tsubaki: *snuggles*} {*POOF*} {tsubaki: o///o} {Mr. Tsubaki: *stares into her eyes...smiles*} {tsubaki:...*smiles and leans in*} Mr. Tsubaki: *sniff* ("I-I miss her so much...") mary: time to eat ^^.....toby? hey, whats wrong, toby? *pet pet* Mr. Tsubaki: Q____Q *whimpers, pawing the window* mary: do you want to go out for a walk? Mr. Tsubaki: *wagging his tail* mary: ok, leash time! Mr. Tsubaki: *walks up, lowering his head for the leash* -and so- Mr. Tsubaki: *looking around* tsubaki: *checking phone* Mr. Tsubaki: OWO;;; -she doesnt seem to notice- Mr. Tsubaki: *tugging on the leash* mary: woah! toby, easy boy! tsubaki: ?? *glances* Mr. Tsubaki: *small fox yip* tsubaki: *eyes widened in disbelief* Mr. Tsubaki: OwO *wagging his tail* mary: *was dragged and is all banged up* im ok. tsubaki: ....oh, what a cute fox. *sad smile. she remembers* Mr. Tsubaki: *not even noticing Mary* QwQ *leans his head to her feet* tsubaki: *kneels down and pets his head* mary: thanks, his name's toby. ^^ Mr. Tsubaki: =w= *wagging faster* mary: aww, he likes you! tsubaki: hehe, he sure does... Mr. Tsubaki: *nuzzles her hand, soft pant* -elsewhere- atsushi: *nom* >///< thanks lucy! this tastes amazing! Lucy: ^\\\^ "I'm glad to hear. I took a long time working on the recipe--and Kirako was really helpful!" atsushi: its the first time i ever got valentines chocolate so....thanks for being my first. ^///^ Lucy: .\\\\. *scoots closer* "...No one ever did this for you?" atsushi: not really, no. Lucy: "...Me neither." >\\\\> "I was so plain looking...and...well, you know my backstory." atsushi:....*holds her hands* Lucy: .\\\\\\. "..." *sniff* atsushi: *bright pink in the face* t-the moon looks beautiful tonight, doesnt it? >////< Lucy: "???" *looks* "...Yeah. In it's own creepy way..." atsushi: ^///w///^;;;;;; Lucy: "..." *leans closer* atsushi: *leans* >////~////<;;;; Lucy: "..." *smooch* atsushi: .... u/////////////////u *tiger tail pops out and curls into half a heart shape* Lucy: ^\\\\\^ *hug, cuddle* atsushi: *purrs* Lucy: *strokes his head, scratches behind his ear* atsushi: *dopey giggling as his leg thumps violently* Lucy: "Hee hee...Look at you...You're ready to bounce." -elsewhere- Vulcan: "I'm home..." karin: how did it go? Vulcan: "Our patient is in good spirits--so, surgery's up to the other docs." karin: good job. ^^ *pat on the back* Vulcan: ^\\\^ "Thanks...How've things been here?" -elsewhere- Fitzgerald: *staring out the window with a glass of scotch* "..." louisa: everything alright, sir? Fitzgerald: "...I miss them." louisa:...*pap pap* -elsewhere- twain: *yAAAAWN* finally back home! *slumps into bed* zzzzzzzzzzz Benimaru: *smooch* Steinbeck: *dragging two treasure chests and a bag* -_-# "Lazy sack of..." ebie: zzzz oscar: finally home. Hemingway: *carrying Ebie in* *whispers* "Yep...Can't wait to get my new pet into the fishtank..." *holding a bag...with a piranha* emily: .-.; baum: time for bed. dorothy: *being carried on his back, asleep* Piranha: *biting at the bag towards Hemingway* Hemingway: ^w^ Steinbeck: *nods* "Meeting tomorrow before dinner." -after everyone else went to bad- emily: um...mr steinbeck? *hands him something, a card* here. Steinbeck: "???" *looks it over* -its a valentines card- emily: i know its a bit last minute but, happy valentines day, sir. *exits*... .///.; Steinbeck: ._.;;; -elsewhere- kirei: zzzzz *snuggles up to benimaru* Benimaru: =\\\\= *holds her* -elsewhere- Tsuyuki: *yawns* tsurugi: >u> -a tiny little bot comes rolling up to tsuyuki- Tsuyuki: "..." *picks it up* -happy valentines. <3 -the name is smudged- - tinker: *waves* Tsuyuki: "..." *waves* tinker: success! Jun: "...Hello." takuto: hi mommy! ^u^ -the grave is silent- Jun: "Takuto and I wanted to see you." *looks at Takuto* "Need a moment?" takuto: *puts down a card* we made cards in class today. Jun: "Yours turned out great..." -...- Jun: "...Takuto and I...are glad to be here..." takuto: *looks around* Jun: "...We wish you were here." -....- Jun: "..." *rests a hand on the tombstone* -a warm feeling passes over him- Jun: "..." *looks behind him* -nothing there...- Jun: "..." *sad smile...pats Takuto* takuto: *waves his lion plushies hand* bye bye, mama. love you! Jun: *nods* "We love you..." -elsewhere- Black Star: "Zzz..." tsubaki:....*snuggle* Black Star: =\\\w\\\= *hug* -elsewhere- Asura: "Happy Valentine's Day." *holds up a beating human heart* mikan: aww, how sweet. *smooch* Asura: =\\\\= mikan: hehe~<3 ^///^ Asura: *cuddles, purrs* -morning- stocking: so that's my report. Mephisto: *sips tea* "Thank you for it." stocking: ....you know something, dont you? Mephisto: *sweet smile* "Don't I always~?" stocking: well do you think you could at least tell me? if not as a teacher, then at least as your daughter? Mephisto: "...How long do you think demons live?" stocking: ....a long time? Mephisto: "Yet you saw the condition of Lucifer. Why do you think he was so sickly?" stocking:...... Mephisto: "To be a demon is to be eternal...but not the body." stocking: ....dad.... Mephisto: *smiles* "Lucifer's body is older, and he is more powerful...and he wants no time waiting for his body to regenerate, hence his pursuit of that Elixir." stocking: ....... Mephisto: "And it didn't take a genius to realize the Light Bringer was leading the Illuminati--it's in the name, after all. So, what would you do if you wanted to know more about a secret organization?" stocking: send someone to infiltrat-..... *lightbulb* Mephisto: *claps* "Brilliant~" stocking: .......please tell me our spy is adrian. Mephisto: "Why would you think it's Adrian?" stocking: at least she's not shima. Mephisto: "True. But almost no one would suspect some fool like Shima was in the Illuminati...or could be a double agent." stocking: ......fair point. Mephisto: "It was a good thing I had some contingency plans for Izumo..." stocking: including her getting kidnapped? Mephisto: "Well...I'm looking at my contingency plan." stocking: *sweatdrop* Mephisto: "If Izumo was captured, who better than her teacher and classmates to save her?" stocking:...*small smile* right..........do you know where mom is right now? Mephisto: "She was roaming the halls." stocking: kay, thanks. *exits* felisia: hm? stocking? whats u- stocking: *tight hug* felisia: ah! stocking:....thanks for being my mom.... felisia:...*smiles and hugs back* -elsewhere- sylvia: s-so im....starting school? Kyoka: *nods* "I think you'll fit in well." sylvia: .~.;;; Kyoka: "...Did you used to go to school?" sylvia: i-i was...home schooled....m-most of the time... Kyoka: "..." *nods* "Not so different...The Mafia had me focused more on missions." sylvia:...o-oh..... Kyoka: "So it took some getting used to. But we have friends there..." sylvia: i-i-i see..... Kyoka: "And the teachers are mostly harmless." sylvia: ... Kyoka: "Just avoid Dr. Stein." sylvia: ??? Kyoka: "He's not hard to miss. He has a screw through his head." sylvia: oh, h-he was the man a-at miss etta's show a while back, r-right? Kyoka: *nods* "Him." sylvia: o-ok. Kyoka: "Stick to Miss Marie." sylvia: w-who's that? Kyoka: "She's one of the other teachers. She's really polite and helpful. She has long blonde hair and rants about dating." sylvia:...i-i see.. Kyoka: *pulls out a page* "Let's write up your course schedule. I think one or two ability courses will help." sylvia: o-ok. Kyoka: "Do you like gym?" sylvia: i-im not really g-good at it. Kyoka: "Any hobbies like art or pottery?" sylvia: i'm not...really good at anything. Kyoka: "...Then this is an opportunity to try new things. Want to take pottery with me?" sylvia: um....i-i guess so? Kyoka: "Okay." *writes down pottery for the day and time* "I'll try to make sure someone you know is in each class." sylvia: o-ok... Kyoka: "I would tell you to avoid the Mafia, but I haven't seen them..." sylvia: ... Kyoka: "Hmm...Let's get something at the cafeteria. I'll show you how to order." -elsewhere- Tsukiyo: "What you gonna wear to the wedding, Fang?" fang-hua: well, since it's going to be a more traditional style, i might get something at the town's seamstress. Tsukiyo: ._.; "...Oh...I...ordered online." fang-hua: ^^; to each their own, i guess. Tsukiyo: "I hope it looks good--" Konro: "Mail call!" *hands a package to Tsukiyo* Tsukiyo: ._____.;;; fang-hua: a lot faster than most packages. -elsewhere- Vulcan: "You keep bugs?" Kepuri: "You design robotics themed around animals?" Vulcan: *nods* "I even made a firefly-themed lantern." Kepuri: "..." Vulcan: "..." Kepuri + Vulcan: *TOTALLY PLATONIC SOBBING HUG* "KINDRED SPIRIT!" lisa + akaderu: *sweatdrop* yu: ^^; akaderu: all they need is a fish type to complete the triforce. lisa:....what? akaderu: n-nothing. -elsewhere- Anya: "..." Fitzgerald: "..." Anya + Fitzgerald: "YOU AGAIN?! UNHAND THAT HEAVILY DISCOUNTED COMMONERS' AFTER-VALENTINE'S DAY CANDY!" tsugumi: oh no. *sweatdrop* louisa: lord francis please. Anya: "Royal Kick!" *Anya knocks down a display for St. Patrick's Day* -elsewhere- inka: *grooooan* so bored =3= Panda: "Want to go to the batting cages?" inka: sure, why not. sasori: *grunt of agreement* inka: oooi, sancho, you coming with or not? Sancho: *already has a baseball helmet on...and football pads...and a hockey stick* "Coming." inka: we-he-hell, arent _you_ prepared? Sancho: "I don't want a repeat of last time..." {Sancho: "Okay! Throw it!"} {Panda: "Okay!" *holding a bowling ball*} {Sancho: *readies the bat--*} Panda: "...I said I was sorry." sasori:.... Panda: "But I bet Sasori is great at the batting cages!" Sancho: "Ever play?" sasori:....i prefer football. [note: she means soccer] Sancho: "Oh, then you can borrow my pads!" *takes off the football pads* Panda: "And get her a helmet." sasori: ??? why would i need a helmet? Panda: "Because football is hardcore! I know you're a badass, but you got to protect your head before someone tackles you! Oh! And I'll need the body paint and the rainbow wig..." sasori:...............*looks at inka, confused* inka: ?? Sancho: "Tailgate! Cheerleaders! 50 yard line! Overpriced stadium consumables!" sasori: oh....are you guys thinking american football? what _i_ meant is what you guys apparently call 'soccer'. for some reason. Panda: "...Ooooooooo! So, hooligans!" sasori: -_-#; -elsewhere- kirara: and that concludes today's lesson. esther: another job well done, kirara. ^^ kirara: indeed. *sigh* *knock knock* esther: hmm? oh, perhaps one of your students forgot something? *opens the door* yes? ^^ *Someone is standing there with a bunny head* esther: oh? kirara: -_-; hello, tezca. Tezca: *muffled* "D'aw, how did you guess?" *takes off the bunny head--and there is a bear head underneath* kirara: call it a wild guess. enrique: ^u^ Tezca: "Then I'll just have to try harder...How was class?" kirara: fortunately no one was injured. this time. *glares at esther* esther: hehe. ^^; Tezca: "Been a little too excited?" esther: i do apologize, i can be a bit intense in combat, hoho~ kirara: ... Tezca: "Well, this is a school to prep kids for death battles..." kirara: right. esther: a sad but true reality. *getting tea ready* Tezca: *sits at a student's chair* "What's up for the rest of your days today, you two?" kirara: the school day isnt over yet. -_-; Tezca: "Can I hang out here? I need to hide because of this--" *knocks his fist on the bunny mask* kirara:................tezca? what did you do this time? Tezca: "Look, I thought the rabbit mask would be a good alibi, and I did not consider the feelings of other people who may not appreciate our Lagomorpha friends." kirara: oh no. you didnt show this mask to _that_ person, right?! Tezca: "I didn't _show_ them. I just happened to be wearing it in public." *BANG BANG BANG* Tezca: OwO;; mami: *GLARE* *The door breaks down under the weight of the attacks* Ragnarok: "HEE HEE HEE! TIME TO SLICE THIS BEAR!" Tezca: *hides behind Kirara* kirara: -_-; -elsewhere- Kunikida: "..." *pouring tea* kirako: thanks, kunikida. ^^ Kunikida: "You're welcome. How are you?" kirako: doing well. *rubs her stomach* Kunikida: "Did you have an appointment recently?" kirako: *she nods* Kunikida: "And...the child is in good health?" kirako: yes...fukuzawa agreed to be a godfather for them. Kunikida: "Wonderful. That is an excellent choice." *sips* "...I cannot imagine what you are feeling." kirako: yeah.....have you ever considered having children? Kunikida: "...I don't think it would happen." kirako: you never know. aya seems to consider you a father figure. {sasaki: *holding kunikida close* doppo...please....i want to feel good tonight...*tears falling*} {Kunikida: *holding her* "..."} Kunikida: "...Hmm. I am simply keeping an eye on Aya...That's...all." kirako: ....kunikida? is something wrong? Kunikida: "..." *looks at her* "It's...not something I want to burden you with." kirako: ..... Kunikida: "...I just don't think I'm cut out for any of this." kirako: ?? Kunikida: "...I think I'm cursed when it comes to romance or...children." kirako: ....*pap pap* Kunikida: "...It's not right...not for any of them." kirako:....it'll be ok. Kunikida: "..." *looks at his book* -elsewhere- Black Star: "Hurry up, Soul--we'll miss the trailers!" soul: coming, coming. *following suit* tsubaki: ^^; Sakuya: "Hope it's better than the sequel..." *carrying trays of snacks* -elsewhere- Kafka: *nom* -n- leroux: feeling crabby? Kafka: *small grunt* "Yeah..." leroux: because valentines day? Kafka: "N-No!" =\\\\= leroux: well, christine and i had a wonderful time yesterday~ i took her dancing, we got dinner, went on a stroll through a garden, *sigh* it was magnifique~<3 Kafka: "...YOU'RE DATING A DOLL!" leroux: isnt she just~ *snuggles christine* christine: *says nothing, as, as stated before, she is a doll* Kafka: "..." *wraps up his leftovers* "I've lost my appetite." leroux: OwO~? Kafka: *opens the door, walks through--* *SMOOSH CLING* Kafka: "GAH! What the hell?!" *moving his hands through something transparent* wilhelm: SUCCESS! Jakob: "Great work!" Kafka: "YOU SMALL LITTLE GNATS!" wilhelm: *runs off, giggling* Jakob: "Wait for me!" Kafka: *rips through, chases* leroux: *sigh* i hope we can have kids one day, <my dearest~> *nuzzles the doll* Kafka: *runs back in* "WHEN PIGS FLY!" *runs back out* "GET BACK HERE, YOU BASTARDS!" leroux:....h-he's just jealous. -elsewhere- Haumea: *tracing a finger along a map* ???: are we close? Haumea: "Very..." ???: .....*feeling for heat signatures* Haumea: "...Take your time..." ???: there's two people. Haumea: "Anything interesting?" ???: they seem to be just talking... Haumea: =_= "Boo...Wish I could hear..." ???: i cannot hear them either. -elsewhere- Akutagawa: "--and it's not that I miss school or the Were Tiger, but I think about how this no-kill policy has compromised so much of what I *ramble ramble ramble* " higuchi: mmhmm. *nods* Akutagawa: " *ramble ramble* --then I got found by that nice kid--" higuchi: *listening* Akutagawa: "--and I don't know why they didn't report me..." higuchi: maybe they didnt know? Akutagawa: "I hope not. I was trying to cover my path..." higuchi: hmm... Akutagawa: "..." *opens a dumpster* higuchi: *peers* *There is stale bread still wrapped and unsold, as well as some misshapen apples* higuchi: hm.... Akutagawa: "Beggers can't be choosers..." *grabs an apple* higuchi: *examining the apples and bread* Akutagawa: "...You okay?" higuchi:....y-yeah... -elsewhere-

[taesthetes]

hi!! I kinda disappointed myself on the last major exam, and the next upcoming exam is also rlly important n I need it to pull up my average for this year !! however ive been feeling rlly unmotivated and tired n lazy nowadays and i think this is rlly affecting my studies.. i think the reason that ive been feeling this way is bc Im constantly surrounded by negative feelings and I kinda feel like a failure after that last exam.. so do u have any advice on how to have the motivation to study well?

hello, sweetpea!! oh god, i really know that feeling ): first of all, you are not a failure, so please don’t say that about yourself. no one is a failure if they keep on trying their best. i do understand that you feel less motivated, tired, and lazy after not doing well on a exam because i’ve been there. it’s okay to feel like that sometimes, but you need to get up and push yourself afterwards. you can’t stay in that mindset forever. i channeled all that negative energy into pushing myself to studying even harder for the next exam. honestly, my only motivation is that i’m absolutely terrified of not passing my class. but, these are some of my study tips that i found to be helpful, and hopefully, they’ll help you!

Make a list of your goals. Studies have shown that students who have a list of goals and write down their goals are more likely to accomplish them (I had to research this and write a paper about this for my engineering class). Your goal can simply be to pass a class. Write that down and put it somewhere you can see it everyday, like on the wall in front of your desk.

Think about what you can accomplish by studying and write it down. This is very similar to the first bulletpoint. For example, in my paper about my own personal goals, I said that studying will lead to improving my grades, which means I can pass the class, which means I can graduate, which means I can get a job, which means I can support myself and then finally have a dog :D

Make a schedule and stick to it. This is very important. Designate certain times to each subject and stick. to. the. schedule. Once again, studies have shown that people are more likely to study if they have a schedule written down and placed somewhere they can see it and be reminded of it. Having a planner is always useful.

Reward yourself. These little rewards are actually super motivating for me. After finishing a few hard lessons or a chapter, reward yourself. For example, indulge yourself in a yogurt parfait or your favorite coffee drink. When you accomplish a goal, give yourself a reward. You deserve it.

Find a quiet space to study with no distractions. Perhaps, use a free room in the library? Stay away from places where you might see your friends. Keep the space simple and free from distractions. for example, hide any clocks, your phone, etc. Try not to use your computer/laptop either if you can.

Make sure you have all the materials you need with you, so you won’t find excuses to get up and look for things and stop studying. Check that you have all the pens, pencils, papers, highlighters, etc. you need beforehand.

Wear comfy, plain clothes. This is actually important because if you keep fidgeting around in uncomfortable clothes or playing with sequins on your shirt or whatever, you keep getting distracted.

Eat right. Don’t skip meals to use that time for extra studying. It’s harder to remember facts and study on an empty stomach. Also, in my experience, whenever I’m studying and there’s food next to me, I just eat it regardless until the bowl is empty. So, when you’re studying, don’t put junk food next to you. Put fruits or vegetables or just eat either one when you want a snack in between studying. Eating vegetables and fruits helps you study better as well as stay healthy.

No cramming or procrastinating. We all do this. Cramming makes it harder for our brains to process everything and memorize what we just read. You should spread out your studying throughout the weeks before your exam. That way, you know all the material and will only need to review by the time the exam comes.

Don’t study with your friends. This proves only to be a distraction if you’re around your friends when studying. Actually, the best way to study would be asking your parent or an adult to test you on your material. Studying with people around your own age simply will result in no studying. And for most people, no studying means failing.

Take breaks. There is no need to feverishly study 24/7, only stopping to go to the bathroom or eat dinner. Again, studying without breaks merely stresses you out, and your brain will not be able to memorize everything. Maybe, after few lessons or every chapter, stand up and stretch. Go watch a youtube video. But make sure you watch only one, or else you’re going to end up on dog videos like three hours later.

Make up tricks to memorize your material easily. Make rhymes, song parodies, alliteration tricks, mnemonic devices, etc. to help you memorize things easier. Ex: PEMDAS (please excuse my dear aunt sally –> parenthesis, exponents, multiplication, division, addition, subtraction)

Make a music playlist. This is based on personal preference though; some people study better in silence. I study much better with some sort of music playing in the background. Don’t choose music with a ton of singing or a lot of instruments playing at once. Studies show that classical music is best for studying.

Get a good night’s sleep and go to bed early. Depriving yourself of sleep by studying until 3 AM in the morning is unhealthy and in reality, it is harder for you to memorize your notes. It is actually better for you if you go to sleep early and wake up early to study. You’re more alert, and your brain is much more capable of memorizing facts.

Relax. Right before the exam is passed out, take a couple of deep breaths, replay that favorite song of yours in your head, and give yourself a little confidence! Tell yourself that you can do this and you will bomb the exam. Just calm down and push away all the stress. You’ll do just fine!

i hope you found these to be helpful! if not, you can always ask for more advice, and i shall consult my friends for more help! i hope you have a lovely day/night, and best of luck to you on your future exams, you smart cookie! 💙

sleepover time – ask me anything!