#my fic debrief

[krikeymate]

I pity the person who becomes Chads therapist, how do you even begin to untangle the clusterfuck of his nightmares lmao.

His unresolved/unrequited feelings for his girlfriends big sister who has only ever seen him as a little brother cause she quite literally babysat him as a kid and who is incredibly protective of said little sister (having literally killed for her).

Then for that dream/fantasy situation of "cheating" with Sam to warp into being attacked by ghostface, a killer he's been dealing with for years and who actually almost killed him twice.

That therapist is gonna be in for a wild ride fr.

I really liked that drabble because of course Chads nightmares would be the type of shit he wouldn't be able to share with the rest of the core four without everybody getting cool about certain things quickly lmao.♤

I would like to formally apologise (lie) for what I put everybody through, I want you all to know, I started laughing at the second line, and then was losing my mind the entire time I wrote the rest.

The original idea for that prompt was much darker, but then I thought of Sam/Chad, and it was too funny to pass up. I might still write my original idea later on. If I remember to do so.

Chad has some psychosexual issues now, sorry about it bro. Let's analyse his dream.

As a child he had the biggest puppy crush on Sam, who was the coolest person ever! As an adult, he's gained great admiration for Sam and how she stepped up to not only protect them all but to make it up to them - and especially Tara - for the ways she hurt them. But despite how much he loves her (platonically), there's a part of him that can't deny that Sam has an anger and a power to her that scares him. The way she dispatches Ghostface... it both awes and terrifies him. On top of that, his new relationship with Tara isn't all sunshine and roses, it's not quite as perfect as he hoped it would be. There's attraction, sure, and a lot of love between them, but she's still guarded, she still won't fully let him in. It leaves him standing on the outside, trying to figure out how to get through the door she's slammed in his face.

Dreams are fun. They're suuppeer weird, and a reminder that it's just the brain processing information, it doesn't mean it's a secret desire or longing. Chad doesn't actually have any romantic or sexual feelings for Sam, the brain is just taking a bunch of key words and jumbling them together in the wrong order.

But Chad doesn't know that, and he is gonna STRESS over it. He's not looking Sam or Tara in the eye for WEEKS.

[darth-kote]

[fuwahua]

Day 17 - Raspberries

✮⋆˙ TKTober Day 17 - Raspberries

✮⋆˙ Tags: Yelan/Yanfei (Established relationship), bullying your gf cutely, tummy, raspberries, fluff!

“I love your stomach window.”

“Hm?”

Yelan turns to Yanfei with a raised brow, the fabric of her tunic stretching as she does. The thin black fabric over her stomach creases and straightens, subtly shiny under the sun, and Yanfei sighs. “It’s so sexy when you stretch like that.”

“That’s the point.”

“I love your uniform. I love your job. I love you. Can you hire me?”

Yelan snorts, coming around the breakfast table. She plucks the half-drunken cup of black tea from Yanfei’s hands with ease. “Teyvat to Yanfei—are you awake yet? I told you to get some sleep last night.”

Archons, she knows. It’s not that Yanfei doesn’t want to sleep but rather that she literally can’t these days: after accepting a domestic case that appeared absurdly simple for the client’s proposed payment, she found herself unfolding Pandora’s box. Both sides of the divorce case wanted to claim ownership of an old property they’d inherited from the wife’s side but only after extensive research in the Qixing’s folders had they discovered the house was built on Adepti reserved non-residential land. Then, to add to the complexity, it was never officially claimed by said Adepti, so right now the entire case (and her paycheck!) is on hold until they can determine who it belongs to, if it legally can be claimed by any party.

A nightmare. An honest and true nightmare made worse by the fact that they can’t make any breakthroughs until the Qixing return with official word from the adepti (apparently Yanfei doesn’t count due to conflict of interest) so she was going to get some actual shut eye yesterday, only to get jump scared by her girlfriend sliding in from the bedroom window and occupying her all night instead.

Hey, wait a second.

“You’re the reason I didn’t get any!”

Yelan whistles. Yanfei groans, face falling between her arms on the table. She’s so tired.

“Please tell me the qixing has responded.”

“You’d be the first to know if they did.” Another groan. Her only solace is Yelan’s hand ruffling her hair, stroking the area she likes between her horns before drifting down to pat her back. “Hey, up. It’s breakfast time.”

“Not hungry.”

“Aw, poor baby.” Yelan’s voice is teasing, near. Her arms encircle Yanfei in a half-hug, tugging. “Come on, up. Eat.”

“Don’t wanna.”

“Yeah?”

“Mm.”

“You sure?”

Yanfei yelps as the hands around her waist pinch her without warning, eyes shooting open in alert as sleep leaves her at once. Yelan’s lips meet her ear, the sound of her kiss loud before she purrs. “Because if you don’t eat, you’ll starve. And if you starve, your sexy tummy I love is going to disappear.”

“Hehehey! Yelahahan, stop!”

“Don’t wanna,” Yelan mocks. Yanfei gasps, scrunching up her shoulders as Yelan traps her against the table, tapping along her sides. It’s overwhelming, the feeling of her hands on her scales, oversensitive and exposed under Yelan’s knowing fingers. Her knees jump and bang against it, causing the cutlery to jitter, when Yelan’s nails scratch her hips. “Careful, babe. Don’t want to spill the breakfast I worked so hard on.”

She squeaks as Yanfei’s hands spider up to her underarms before diving further low, sliding under her skirt and scratching her thighs. It’s terrible, maddening, made worse so by the memory of Yelan doing the exact same thing yesterday with very, very different intentions. Yanfei squirms, legs kicking in protest, but Yelan’s weight keeps her rooted to the chair. “AHAHALL YOU DID WHAHAS BUY YOUTIAO!”

“Mm, from your favorite vendor.”

“Leheheht gohoaha—wAH!”

She’d call her the worst if it wasn’t for the shriek she emits as Yanfei’s hands hook under her thighs and pulls her straight out of the seat; her head swings back only to be caught by a gentle hand before she hits the table. Yanfei pants, hair splayed around the countertop, eyes stuck on her ceiling (did she always have that crack there? Was that water damage?) before looking down to Yelan hovering above her hips. She shivers, scotting away, but Yelan’s hands rooted to her hips keeps her from absconding.

“Hehehe… come on,” Yanfei bargains, swallowing as Yelan’s nails tap on her stomach. “Let’s have the youtiao before it gets cold.”

“You can heat it back up again, can’t you?” Yelan coos, nuzzling her stomach. Her blue hair drags along the surface as she moves, spiraling the scales along Yanfei’s ribs and she giggles. “I just want to have a quick snack first.”

“S-snack? No, YelAHAHAHAHAN PLEAHAHAHASE!”

Her horns do bang against the table, the sound loud but no louder than the screech of her laughter as Yelan holds her down, lips vibrating as she blows raspberry after raspberry against her navel. Yanfei shouts, squirming, screaming, her legs kicking wildly in the air as incoherent pleas escape her with every shockwave running through her body, but the mischief glistening in Yelan’s eyes promises no quarter. It tickles so much, a vibration down to her core, and when she tries to beg for a break it dissipates into wild giggles until—

Clang!

Yanfei gasps, jolting, as Yelan’s body flanks her entirely. She’s flush between her body and the table, shivering with residual giggles, as Yelan’s shoulders blanket both sides of her head. A moment passes, then another, and it’s only when it’s clear that no intruder is in the house that Yelan relents with a sigh and pecks her cheek.

“You okay?”

“Yehehe,” she chuckles, leaning up and kissing Yelan on the lips. Her girlfriend smiles into it, the slant of her lips inviting, and she kisses her again. “What was that?”

Yelan snorts. “See for yourself.”

That’s never good. Yelan climbs off her with an outstretched hand before hauling Yanfei upwards against her chest. She points to a metal bowl on the floor, bag of youtiao fallen out of it, and teases. “You knocked that off with your squirming.”

Oops. Did she? Yanfei flushes, trying to picture herself laughing on the table, desperate to escape Yelan’s evil tickly mouth. Yeah, okay, she probably did it. Wait. “Hey! Who’s the reason for my squirming, hm?”

“Guilty as charged,” Yelan says. She bends down to deliver another kiss to Yanfei’s temple, then once more on her horn. Yanfei shifts, pleased, when Yelan pulls her up and delivers another on her lips. If this was the reward for catching guilty criminals, Yanfei would never retire. “Come on, I want breakfast. Someone kept me up all night and now I’m starving.”

Yanfei’s eyes narrow. “What happened to your snack?”

“Wasn’t enough,” Yelan says. “Unless it wants some more?”

She squeaks, ducking away to grab the metal bowl. “Nope! Get the soymilk, will you?”

Yelan’s chuckle echoes in the room, fond, as her hand graces Yanfei’s horns with a gentle tap. Pyro gathers along her fingers and it’s only a minute until the youtiao are crispy once more; she sets them on the table, rearranging the chairs, only to pause at the sound of a hum. She looks up, staring now, as Yelan traverses her kitchen with ease: she could arrange it with her eyes closed by now, familiar, the pop of her cabinets opening matched with the clatter of cups and cutlery, glass seasoning boxes and bamboo mats. Yelan’s hum is low, comfortable, and as she gets on her tip toes to reach the top shelf, her tunic flutters over her stomach.

Yanfei sighs.

“I love your stomach window.”

Yelan laughs. The soymilk spills slightly over the glass cup, and she cleans it with a smile. “I love yours too.”

[t1meslayer]

Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas to all celebrating today! And for those who aren’t, I hope you have a lovely Wednesday all the same :)

Enjoy some art: a lovely flower arrangement centerpiece for our holiday party dinner, set in a series of ceramic bowls I’ve thrown.

[gingernut1314]

Welcome back to Gingernut's After-Show Debrief

This is the show where this gingerbread girly completes another series that completely WRECKS her mental stability and she'll never recover

Before I crash out I'm gonna throw a spoiler warning up here real quick because the show I'm about to talk about is...

Arcane: Season 2 Act 3

I actually.....I just feel like....this was....😭😭

So 😭

And 😭

I am actually stunned that this show is over.

I didn't know figure out that is was ending for real for real until the last ep of Act 2 so I'm kinda new to this just distraught feeling and then...then.....

😭

I really enjoyed ep. 7 it was the cutest fucking thing to come out of this whole show. To know that there is a universe out there where they get to be happy, even if it means Vi is dead, is nice.

And Himerdinger's little song was too cute (and he's not dead. I saw someone on tiktok say he wasn't because he's a yordle and you know what I'm gonna believe it because if I don't?? its not gonna be a good time. Also I really thought he turned invisible then because I SWEAR I heard his little footsteps walk away som maybe I'll go with that)

Clogger and Milo being back!!!

SILCO WITH THE GOLD EYE EHEHEHEHEEHEHEHEEHEHEHEHE

If I were to get my hands on that man omgggggggg ✋😩 the fanservice was fantastic this season I was very well feed.

BENZO 😭 I sobbed when Ekko just attacked him in a hug like yesss he gets to have his goodbye moment and I'm happy for him

But I am UPSET for Ekko because what do you mean he's all alone sitting on the same ledge he was sitting on with Powder??? Why isn't he with friends??? WHY IS HE ALL ALONE SOMEONE GO CHECK ON HIM PLEASEEEEEE

The French song when Ekko and Powder were dancing was wonderful and I love both Stomae and POMME!!

I am upset that Sevika didn't get more screen time then she did, but I am SO happy that she 1) lives and 2) is on the council now!! She deserves it and she IS ZAUN she everything that Zuan stand for and she'd been there since day 1 and just UGHHHH I love that woman let me marry her right here right nowwwww

Piltover and Zuan teaming up to fight against a common enemy was wonderful. I loveee a good war/battle/invasion scene and that whole ep FED ME

Ambessa was badass and I hate her AND love her?? Like I have very mixed feelings on her and that's okay because that's what the writers want.

I'd let her completely annihilate me on the... battlefield....and that's all I'll say on the Ambessa topic.

Well actually that Shadow Black Rose mage was LeBlanc right?? I slowly trying to learn all the League lore and I read a bunch of people saying it was her but I really don't know enough yet to be like oh yeah. That's her.

ALSO MEL YOU BADASS BABE YES GOD YES GOD

Stunning, beautiful, let me sit on your lap as you rule over your kingdom pleaseeeeeeeeee

The creators of Arcane want to do other tv shows right for League? I know they are working on Penelope of Sparta but we've GOT to get some more for Arcane seeing different stories and stuff there are too many characters NOT to do it, Noxus and whatever Mel is gonna do with it being one of them

CaitVi being end game was wonderful. Caitlyn was looking scrumptious these last few eps and unfortunately, I've been a big Cait hater but she's....okay now....i guess....got played HARD by Maddie though like fuck that girly omgggggg Maddie was horrible even those she really didn't get us a reason to dislike her till last ep.

Talking about end games

JAYVIK

WE GOT JAYVIK!!!!!!

I LOVE that that was the victor in the PfP Jayce Wars from tiktok just stunning. 10000/10 right there. Yes, go be little space partners for all eternity love you bothhhh

MACHINE HAROLD WAS AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH SO GOODDD

I like how they changed it to be more in line with the lore for Arcane like the look of those Arcane creatures very nice very good love him would join his cult I don't need free will pffffttttt

And VIKTOR BEING THE GUY WHO SAVED JAYCE WHEN HE WAS A BABY LIKE YESSSSSSAHSGHAGHDGAHGDH they will be together forever and always I love those two

Ekko and Jinx entrance to the battle was perfect and they both were so good and--and--and--

SHES NOT DEAD

NOPE

She just got teleported to a different area in Runeterra like she's with her girlfriend Lux she's okay....😭

I will deny deny denyyyyyy that's dead like I won't even let the thought cross my mind and the ending of the show I think allows me to do so perfectly

The ending, after some thought and not just going off of my instant reaction which was to scream and cry and pull my hair out, was perfect for the show.

I honesty like how it gives you that feeling of I guess unfinished, like you know there should be more because that's what they want us to feel. The arcane world is so big and there are hunters of stories to be tole and even though I'm sad Vi and Jinx's story is done I know it's not really done, done which is in a way comforting.

This show really was beautiful.

I liked the mix between magic and reality. It really has set a high standard for any animated TV shows that I really doubt anyone will be able to replicate.

But I'm pumped for Penelope of Sparta because greek mythology AND stunning animation/storytelling??? Yes please sign me up I will eat it up.

.......now I'm just gonna...sit in my room....in silence for a good while because even though this show was stunning I'm sobbing

[thebluestbluewords]

places where you shouldn’t be (where you could be anyway)

“This was a mistake.” Carlos says under his breath. “We’re gonna die here, right? This is where it ends.”

“Yeah,” Jay agrees, equally quietly. “Biggest mistake we’ve made in a while. Nice knowing you, but we’re not getting out of this one.” 

Their cart squeals as Evie navigates them smoothly around a turn. 

It’s fine. They’re all fine and great and surviving, thriving adults. 

Who totally know how to do grocery shopping. 

“Do we even have money for this?” 

Jay shrugs. “Dude. I don’t know. I didn’t even bring a wallet.” 

“What’s in your pockets?” 

Jay’s wearing a jacket with at least six hidden pockets. It’s one of the most honest, upstanding items of clothing he owns. “Nothing. Literally. It’s like, physically painful.” 

“Take some gum or something,” Carlos says, flicking a silver wrapper at Jay’s head. It falls on the floor. It’s a testament to the way that respectable Auradon adults seem to gloss over the VKs when they’re not actively shouting that nobody in the store even blinks an eye at them. “Nobody's gonna care about that. It’ll keep your hands busy if there’s something to fidget with, yeah?” 

“I can’t.” 

Carlos shoves the gum into his mouth. “Why the fuck not?” 

“Dude. We’re being good. I have to keep being good, or we’re gonna get shipped back and the girls would never forgive us. Do you want that on your conscience? Me being shipped back to the isle forever because I couldn’t keep my hands to myself in the fuckin’ grocery store?” 

“Nobody’s gonna care.” Carlos points out. He’s wearing a jacket that’s more rips than fabric, and the four of them are the only people in the store not wearing pastels. “The cameras only cover the door and the health food display. Stores like this bake a certain amount of loss into their profit margins. They don’t give a shit if we take some gum.” 

Jay shoves his hands in his pockets. There’s tiny little cheese rounds in the side cooler they’re walking past, and they would fit so neatly in his hand. 

He could fit like seven of them in his pocket without blinking.  “Nope. I’m not doing it.” 

“I’ll start moving my shit to your pockets.” Carlos says, chomping his gum so aggressively that one of the adults who’s pushing a cart in the opposite direction almost looks at them. “I’m gonna run out of space.” 

Jay twirls a bottle opening keychain around his finger before tossing it back on the shelf. “You wouldn’t.” 

“Mine’re gonna be full before we get halfway through. You’ve got a lot more space.” 

“Yeah,” Jay says, still casually, slouching so that they’re shoulder to shoulder. “Because I’m not fucking four feet tall, and I’m not wearing skinny jeans.” 

“You’re just jealous of my incredible calves.” Carlos says, shoulder-checking him towards the side of the aisle. The subsequent noise is a great cover for the transfer between their pockets,  not that they need it. They’re a polished ducking team, and the plastic-wrapped candy bars don’t even crinkle. 

Evie’s going to kill them both. 

[the-bi-space-ace]

I want to do something a little bit different (well… different for me at least!!)

I want to start talking about the chapter I just posted in my long fic and just talk about like… what my fave part was or how I felt writing it. Just for fun. Just because it would make me happy.

So! Let’s get started with chapter 1 of The World Tumbles Down!

I wrote this… right after I wrote the last chapter of Keep These Shadows Out. So a looooooong time ago. I’ve been editing it and working away at it as time has gone on but it was written well before this. I was just so ready to get into the larger argument between Rex and Echo and since the last chapter was still so fresh in my mind it felt like the perfect time to do it

Speaking of the fight…

Ow ow ouch ouch it hurts my heart

I knew I wanted this fic to open with an argument since I started planning the second fic. And I wanted the argument to sting. I wanted it to hang over everything else like a cloud. So unfortunately for everyone this rift will last awhile 🥲

And everyone is fighting. After everything they’ve been through it just made sense to me that there would be issues amongst themselves outside of the larger problem.

My partner and I keep joking that Tech and Wrecker are the only ones with their shit together and yet they’re still struggling to keep their cool. And we’ll be getting to how those two are handling things in the coming weeks.

I was a little nervous about trying to fix order 66 tbh. Actually… I’m still a little nervous. It feels like a big task (and it is. There’s been a lot of planning put into it.) but it’s a far bigger plot than I’ve ever tried my hand at before. I know it’s more complex than what I’ve attempted before but I’ve sunk a lot of hours into getting it solid.

Looking at the first fic compared to now is kind of cool for me tbh. I think I’ve improved a ton since writing that fic. I’ve gotten a better hold on my personal style, on what I want out of my fics. I’ve gotten better at understanding my plot moving forward and planning instead of just writing and figuring it out later.

What’s funny is that when I first started to write it I wanted it to be more ‘slice of life’ with a minor plot that was resolved quickly enough to still enjoy those fluffier more fun aspects. And I think I achieved that tbh! I did exactly as I wanted. But about half way through I was considering a sequel and when I brought it up to my partner it took us a few weeks to be solid about what the plot would be. And even then we said that we could work towards an order 66 fix it if we really wanted to. And back then I wasn’t sure I could do it. I didn’t think I had the time, the skills, or the ability to plot something more complicated than what I was already planning on doing.

I’m glad I decided to do it.

This fic will be the most intense of the three but it’ll be the most emotionally gratifying so the angst is worth it. I’m glad I started doing this. It’s brought me more happiness than I could’ve imagined.

Thanks for sticking with me this far. I hope I can give you a story worth reading 🩶

[asteria7fics]

Ngl I wanna drop the whole fic so bad just so I can giggle with you guys about everything that happens

[fragilecapric0rnn]

made this playlist for my friend @cheatghost's BEAUTIFULLY wonderful fic show me the place where he inserted the blade. i put a lot of thought into the playlist and was talked into doing an analysis. I will be diving into each part of the fic by going over how and why the songs i chose for each section relate to the themes and events that take place. each part will have it's own post.

here is Part III. Searching

III. Searching

I rarely cry at my own writing, or when my brain is hard at work. But this section got me. This part is heavy. In the fic it's heavy, so of course, I had to make the songs reflect that. This line in the first part of chapter 2 really acts as the thesis of this part, and shows where Steve's headspace is:

"But now, another part of him is stuck in 1987. It’s a big part, the part that loved the hardest and felt the most free. It’s the part that had the most hope about the future. The part that finally, finally, belonged. And now it’s gone. Stuck. Steve can’t go back, can’t get it back, so he just has to make do with what’s left."

This part, Searching, that spans all of the second chapter and parts of chapter three, is the 11 years Steve spends searching, and waiting, and essentially building his entire adult life around finding Eddie. This is his way of coping with the loss of Eddie. And these songs dive into the coping, the loneliness, and everything else that comes to fruition in those 11 years.

I. Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd

I started this portion with this song for a few reasons. One being that there were multiple callbacks to it during the fic (and in Lou's playlist). It also just feels like the embodiment of Steve during this portion of the story. The searching, the long years of searching, and the glimmers of hope that shine through the overarching ache of longing for something, for someone, when it feels impossible. Also these lyrics are the embodiment of this section -

We're just two lost souls Swimming in a fish bowl Year after year Running over the same old ground What have we found?

But also because it goes so well with this line from the fic: "Wonders if—it couldn’t be—but he wonders if it was a sign, maybe. From him. Somewhere." A scene taking place as this song plays, it sets the tone for what this portion of the story entails. As we will see further in the fic and in other sections, there are multiple occasions where it does seem like Steve is intercepting signs from Eddie. This song and other markers in the story serve as connections between the two of them, despite the amount of time that they're separated.

II. Lover, You Should’ve Come Over by Jeff Buckley 

AGAIN, would love to copy and paste the entire song! The longing and the waiting and the desperation in this song just feels like the song equivalent to Steve's heartache that envelops this entire chapter, and the years he spends searching.

Sometimes a man gets carried away When he feels like should be having his fun Much too blind to see the damage he's done Sometimes a man must awake to find that Really he has no one

Loneliness and isolation. It becomes clear as Steve is making this search his entire life, he feels how the other people in his life look at him, internalizes it and makes himself feel like he has to hide so he doesn't burden the others. Especially when it comes to Robin. He has convinced himself that he is holding back Robin and Nancy with his pain, inflicting pain on his people by

Yes, I feel too young to hold on And much too old to break free and run Too deaf, dumb and blind to see the damage I've done Sweet lover, you should've come over

His ears, his memory, the ringing. Not only is he stuck in this state of searching to cope, his body and mind are starting to age. So even if mentally he's stuck in 1987, his body is a constant reminder that time is passing. I also think apart of him will always feel guilty that he didn't try harder to stop this from happening, which is why this song fits so well with the story as a whole. He should've come over, he should've tried harder. Coulda, woulda, shoulda.

III. Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me) by The Temptations

Another oldie by one of my favorite Motown artists, The Temptations. It's not so much directly connected through the lyrics, but through the sentiment and meaning of the song. This song is about falling in love with someone, picturing a life and future with someone, but in reality you don't know them, they are just a face you see but don't know.

With that knowledge, you know I had to put it on the playlist.

I tell you I can visualize it all This couldn't be a dream, far too real it all seems But it was just my imagination, once again Runnin' away with me

It just feels like Steve during this time. The helpless search and refusal to give up because of the life and future he imagined with Eddie. But in reality, he has no idea if he is going to find him. With every shot in the dark missed. Everytime a metalhead with long hair on the street doesn't have the right face, every trip in the pursuit of a lead that ends up with him coming back home alone. His future just lives in his imagination, and it's running away from him. He's not living his life, he's spending his time searching and waiting for a future that no one is even certain can exist for him.

IV. You’re Missing by Bruce Springsteen 

As their makeshift family gathers in California at they Byers every year, there is an elephant in the room in the shape of Eddie's absence in said room. I feel like this song is THE song for those trips to California. It's the yearly reminder that there will always be an empty chair, a person missing from their group.

Too much room in my bed, too many phone calls How's everything, everything? But you're missing, you're missing

"Everybody else is back in that rowboat with their jobs, their families, their lives. They’ve got pieces missing, like him, but they make do. They’ve moved on." And Steve hasn't.

And as we see, it's affecting them all. Hopper makes his own calls to try and lift the burden from Steve, which manifests in his own burden he bares. Max carries it in her inability to finish her book. The way Max is the one to rifle through his things to find the phonebook and yell "it's not your job." He's made it his personal burden to bare, but in that last trip to California, we see that everyone carries it.

God's drifting in heaven, devil's in the mailbox I got dust on my shoes, nothing but teardrops

I just loved that this song brought up the mailbox for this part because it is a nod to Steve's job, and the fact that Steve's job is tied into the life he has built around him trying to find Eddie. Everything in his adult life is tied back to Eddie.

V. Bullet With Butterfly Wings by The Smashing Pumpkins 

This song is seen twice in this chapter, in '95 and as the chapter closes in '98. The first instance, it's the originalz song and it immediatley reminds Steve of Eddie, as the cashier is "a teenager with a face full of piercings and a practiced glare to boot". Which causes him to drive by where the trailer used to be and listen to the song. Even when there is unforseen miles between them, even when 11 years go by without even a blip on Steve's radar, they are still so connected, and it makes me feel so ill.

Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

The lyrics themselves reflect Eddie's circumstances! Talking with Lou about the song choice and the meta of the song in comparison to Eddie, it's about feeling trapped by circumstance. Eddie is trapped by the MW persona that he's created as his way of shooting his flare in the dark to grab the attention of Steve in a way that doesn't jeopardize his situation.

VI. Black by Pearl Jam

Echoing what's stated above, this song just capture Steve's feelings over the course of the 11 years of searching. The song is about letting go, and though we don't see Steve letting go AT ALL in this section, I decided to end this portion of this playlist with this song anyway because, as the readers we know more, and we will soon see that all the searching, the waiting, the hope that's tangled up in the obsessive persistence with Steve's search, will have a pay off.

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life I know you'll be a star In somebody else's sky Why can't it be Oh can't it be mine

Also these lyrics above beautifully mirror the closing scenes of chapter two and the first part of chapter three.

He looks at Fawn and thinks he sees one of its stars blink.  Eddie blinks back.  Wonders if Steve will see. 

He looks at their constellation and slowly blinks. I’m okay. I’m safe. I love you.I love you.  

Eddie remembers. Eddie is waiting. Steve is blinking back at the stars, he's not going to stop, he is always going to have hope. And as we will see in the next installment, on the other side of the searching, there is hope.

[compacflt]

recalled today that the plural form of court-martial is “courtS-martial.” oh and it’s always hyphenated. utterly devastated

[krikeymate]

Fic Notes - you're the flame that keeps my soul alight

Inspired by this conversation here with wabitham.

Post here, and I commissioned art for this.

The main thought process was:

I wonder what type of tension-filled situations they could use to up the ante in 7

Huh, what about a fire? They haven't done a fire right?

*Thinking about the picture of Melissa holding Jenna* Sam could totally be all badass carrying her sister out of a fire

Tara's asthma would hold her back in that situation

So, the fic actually doesn't go into a lot of detail about the how or why behind the situation, it's just about dealing with it. I actually didn't start it off with any context planning, just a vague idea of things I wanted to happen. Context didn't come to me until after I had finished writing Tara's POV and started on Sam's.

I tried to figure out where they were and what would make sense. What did Sam remember last? I went with her and Tara having dinner, decided they were celebrating Tara's first 3 months of therapy, and from there the location had to be their apartment. Whether that's the apartment from 6 or a new one, doesn't matter.

This was poll option "you're the fire in my heart" however I had already been calling it "you're the flame that keeps my soul alight" in my fic folder.

What changed: My original plan actually had Tara trying to drag Sam by her tied wrists, before succumbing to the smoke and collapsing beside her. Which would have made sense - Tara's standing, she's the one most in danger due to that. I managed to include a little of that but it was originally going to be longer. That plan also doesn't account for why Sam would suddenly wake up. Otherwise, not really a lot changed, which is a rarity for me.

What didn't change: Starting with Tara's POV and then moving to Sam's. Sam's wrists being tied and Tara being unable to undo it. Sam burning the rope off her wrists, and of course, Sam carrying Tara out of the fire.

What is not explained AT ALL within the fic: Their food was drugged. Sam ends up getting drugged more than Tara, just because she was eating more than her or whatever, drugging food is hardly a precise art idk suspension of disbelief. Perpetrators enter the apartment: Tara isn't down, but Sam is halfway there. A small fight ensues whereby Tara takes an absolute banger of a knock to the head, giving her a head wound that bleeds all over her. They tie Sam's wrists and tether her to something - I went with a pipe along the ceiling because I couldn't fathom what other option there is in an apartment. Then they set the place on fire.

The part where Tara says the voice in her head is wrong and usually sounds like Sam, not her mother: I wanted to make this clear in the fic but adding to it just seemed to make it less effective - the voice sounding like her mother but it being kind is what's wrong. I also mention briefly that Sam's inner voice is beginning to sound more and more like Tara, usually that voice is Billy.

I almost ended the fic on the line: "She doesn’t think of their apartment, now destroyed, or of their lost possessions. Tara is here, and that’s the only one that matters."

My favourite line here is "A part of her hopes she isn’t around to see it, she doesn’t even want to think of a world without Sam Carpenter in it, let alone live it again." Specifically, the live it again.

[hatsbuckets]

TF 141 x Reader - Shower Hide Out

Short Version: You're a member of 141. Mission's over. The boys come hide while you're taking a shower. (Hide? Hide from what?)

WC: ~1300

Pairings: (implied) TF141 x (afab) reader | teensy weensy Ghost x Soap

Warnings: none? (nudity ig, but nobody does or sees anything,) extremely brief mention of drowning. (lmk if I need to add)

A/N: my first little cod fic I'm posting! teehee. Just something cute and domestic and simple that I thought of while showering. LMAO I did this instead of writing my thesis today so plz enjoy. More like this maybe to come?

It was late and a shower was long overdue.

You were grateful to finally be at a place where you could shower. It'd been days out on a mission and the sight of the little house was like heaven on Earth. Laswell had gotten it together, and you all met her there with little ceremony, but plenty of thanks. You each made sure each of you were good and not dying before sitting in with Kate.

You always got a little protective over the boys after the high stress, near-death-experiences you go through together. And they were the same with you, and each other, in their own little ways. Sometimes you weren't sure why, but you rolled with it. Soap always made a point to talk with you, helping you and himself destress. Ghost made sure you weren’t hurt, you would do the same, then he’d say something about getting better. You and Gaz liked to eat together, making sure you were both fed. Price was quiet, bringing you tea or coffee in the later hours, but never quiet enough to avoid a bit of banter. Sometimes it was a hearty combination of them all at the same time, and sometimes it was just one or two. Whatever it was, you were grateful. 

This current mission had resulted in you and Johnny both nearly drowning to death, but you were okay, and so was he. Naturally, it left all parties a little on edge. Soap didn’t shut up the whole drive to safety, keeping spirits light while Ghost and Gaz tried to keep the two of you from freezing to death. Laswell was worried too. She insisted, in her stoic way, on getting you all safe and rested for a bit before moving forward.

This wasn't the first time you'd all holed up in a small house, and it wouldn't be the last, but it was definitely one of the quieter nights of the five of you together. Laswell and Price wasted little time before discussing and debriefing. The rest of you were hardly as interested, tired mostly, but pulled in all the same.

Finally, they let you head up to the shower first, even though Johnny was shaking from the chill of still being in damp clothes.

"Go on, lass," he had chattered. "I'll b-be just fine."

Ghost had to force another towel around him before you were satisfied.

Upstairs, you twisted the shower on, letting the heat steam as you undressed. You peeled away a still damp uniform and even damper socks. Ew.

You'd need a full body scrub down to feel better.

You stepped in, pulling the curtain closed and letting the hot water soak through your hair and warm you to the bone. It hurt a little at your toes, the way warm water does as blood rushes around you again. You started with shampoo, lathering your hair intentionally, but not in a hurry.

As you rinsed you swore you heard the door creak. Then a relaxed sigh confirmed your suspicion.

"Soap?" You guessed quietly.

The Scot hummed in response.

You didn't mind. It wouldn't be the first time he'd stood by while you showered. Though normally it was because neither of you wanted whatever intriguing discussion you were having to be interrupted. Another of those weird little, post-mission comforts. This was just him, sitting quietly, enjoying the warmth of the steamed washroom.

You heard him kick his boots off as you put conditioner in your hair. Then another sound of the door hinges. At first you thought he'd left-weirdo, just drop your boots and leave- but then you realized from a mumbling grunt that he had not left.

You heard the shuffling of movement and the quietest unidentifiable remark from Soap, and then just the sound of the water again.

"Soap?" You asked, confirming if the man was still there.

He hummed again. "Still 'ere. Got some company too."

If you had to guess, it was probably Ghost. You could imagine him plopped down on the floor at Soap's feet, leaning against the man's legs. Again, it didn't bother you as you rinsed the product from your hair. Ghost had seen you roughed up, helped patch you up enough that his presence couldn't bother you. You'd done a bit of the same for him. Those weird little comforts.

Knowing they were on the other side of the dark curtain, dirty and wet and tired, but alive, settled a bit of the hammer of worry in your chest. It warmed you from the inside as much as the water on the outside.

The door hinges creaked again, announcing another arrival. You were grinning now.

"Captain scare ya off, Gaz?" Ghost teased.

There was a moment where he didn't respond. "This is just the warmest room in the house, with how much water she's using."

You laughed lightly as you lathered up. Whatever he was in here for you also didn't mind. You trusted Kyle with your life, and with the times he's seen you drunk after celebratory bar nights, you couldn't chase him off now. Those little comforts.

Before you could rinse off, the door creaked a fourth time. You thought maybe one of them had left. Maybe Kyle. But instead, you heard an unmistakable grumble.

"You moppets. Let the girl shower in peace." Price's voice was low but laced with a tease.

"And wot brings you 'ere, Captain?" Soap poked right back.

You rinsed yourself, a laugh escaping you as you thought about the four grown men occupying the small space. Little comforts. 

"What's so funny?" Ghost's voice was light, or at least as light as it could be when he wasn't too stressed.

"Are you all hiding from Kate?" You teased.

When your question was met with silence, you had your answer. Your laugh burst from you as you turned the water off. It subsided only as the chill of the air entered the isolated space as you extended your hand through the small gap between curtain and wall. There was a moment of shuffling and scrambling, then a towel landed in your hand.

"You'd be hidin' too if you were down there listening to her plans, that woman never rests," Soap's voice grumbled. It made you laugh again as you wrapped the towel around your body. You finally pulled open the curtain to the scene before you.

Like you'd guessed, Soap was seated on the toilet, boots off in the pile next to your own, his clothes still damp. Ghost was seated on the floor in front of him, still fully geared. Kyle had at least taken off his equipment in a different room, sitting on the floor against the sink counter. And Price, also still fully dressed, was leaning just inside the doorway, arms crossed over his chest.

While the other men glanced away in their respectful little ways, Soap watched as you stepped out, earning a thump on the leg from Ghost.

"What?" Soap cried. "She's'not naked!"

You laughed, stepping over Ghost and Gaz's legs as you made your way to the door. You rested your free hand on Price's shoulder and his eyes met yours.

"Surely Kate's new ideas aren't that bad," you teased.

The man shrugged, a smile crinkling his eyes. "You can go find out."

You huffed a tiny laugh. You could feel all their eyes on you now, so you made a point to linger just a moment longer. "One of you start showering; you all smell."

You headed for your own room as Soap's gripes and protests hit your ears. You understood something along the lines of “wouldn’t if you’d not taken all the water.” You smiled to yourself. They were protective, always in that weird little way of theirs after the high stress, near-death-experiences you all go through together. Shared little weird-not weird, just your own-comforts to make sure you were all alive and well. And you wouldn't have it any other way.

Thanks for reading.

[gaywineauntsstuff]

Listen I love the ‘dicks being ostracized from his family and self destructs’ trope in fics however

I would like an inverse just once (I could write it but I want this fic to be good so I can enjoy it and I am not the greatest writer) where everyone blows up at him and flat out lays into him and he just goes… okay… if that’s how you feel?

Takes himself off of the patrol routes and rosters. He’s off the emergency calls and his ‘call for city wide emergency’ has been down graded to ‘call for world wide emergency’ he’s no longer on comms with oracle

He stops offering assistance to the other kids teams, doesn’t send info for investigation and doesn’t go within 100feet of Gotham.

Takes himself off the den-mother, baby sitter, trainer for all the younger teams lost that involve any and all bats

In the beginning he vacates his apartment and temporarily moves in with Donna in New York and things are good because of course they are. They’re Dick and Donna a world doesn’t exist where they aren’t okay.

And then his presence in New York leads to a lot of the og core five titans interacting and they realize that they miss each other like hell and start to work together more and more. Until news sites are like ‘teen titans grown up??’ ‘Original titans spotted doing hurricane aid in Florida!’

Because Dick loves his family but he knows when to bow out. And he chose the family he made in the new teen titans.

And then one day one of the bats track him down in nyc and breaks into what is now Dick and Donna’s apartment and are ready to argue that they need him back and need him there for a huge Gotham wide event.

And Dick says ‘sure okay let me get my stuff and we leave in half and hour’ as soon as the first sentence is out

No convincing or begging or asking for money (cough Jason cough)

Dick is patched into their comms and he’s working efficiently except he’s not… acting like himself.

He’s collaborating with whoever they tell him too, no problem, he’s discussing ideal plans and co-ops and teams and how to best get it under control.

But he’s talking to them the way he talks when he’s offering aid to teams he’s not a part of.

Like the hero version of an acquaintance and no one can call him out on it because he’s doing good work. Work that’s on par with his work before this whole fiasco. He explicitly isn’t letting their personal issues affect his work.

He’s speaking but not talking

And Bruce remembers this… he’s probably the only one who does because last time he was the only one included. The last time Dick acted like this is when he first visited Jason and him after he had been fired.

Whenever Bruce was in the room and Dick was forced to speak with him, the conversation never strayed past business casual especially around Jason.

Batman and Nightwing got into screaming matches

Bruce and Dick were strangers

And now they’re back to this, 7 kids later, a million ends of the world stopped, they’ve bled together, cried together and clung to each other in pure relief after they managed to clutch victory.

And Nightwing was treating Batman Inc like a new team stepping onto the scene.

Once they’ve secured everything and managed to keep Bruce from self destructing and making it worse. Dick just leaves and tells oracle that he’ll send over his debrief in 3-5 business days and it was nice working with them.

And then he’s gone

No cave, no manor, no Alfred, no med-bay because Dick doesn’t stay places he’s not welcome.

And after they all talk about that and how weird it was and Bruce reveals Dick did this before when he was Nightwing after Bruce fired, where Dick Grayson didn’t know Bruce Wayne.

And one of the kids asks when he broke and stopped the act and Bruce just says ‘the day he found out Jason died’

And the Batkids kinda freak bc what do you mean?? What is he only going to come back when someone dies? Thats not? There has to be another way?? And Bruce is like yeah no idea sorry (bc he’s helpful like that)

So then Steph the next day resolves to go visit him, Tim isn’t the only professional stalker. And she finds Dick and Donna’s apartment and well it’s daylight and she’s in civvies she’s if she climbs in through the window she might get reported to the NYPD and she doesn’t wanna get arrested or shot to door it is!

And so she goes and knocks and Dick opens the door and just lights up

Something something this is such a nice surprise something something it’s so good to see you.

Dick had taught Donna how to make some of his mother recipes when they were kids. So now whenever they’re together for a long time they cook together.

So Dick who is usually living in a cluttered apartment with no clean dishes and an exclusively grab and go food is now trying to force feed her some of his cooking.

Because he picked up the habit again since he’s the better cook between him and Donna.

And it’s delicious and he wants to catch up and hear everything that’s going on in her life, is she working with new people, dating anyone? How is her relationship with her mother etc etc.

It’s a nice day and she stays late and never confronts him on anything until she sees how long ago the sun set and she needs to get moving.

He hands her paper with his number and makes her promise not to give it to the others or she will lose access to it, he offers to help her on a conditional basis as nightwing but only her, she can call him about the rest if it’s an end of the world or they’re near death and need immediate aid.

And that’s like the fic because the key to winning nightwings assistance is like breathing (optional) but if you’re Dicks family you have to care or else. He’ll love you and help you, when you need it but he won’t tie his life up with yours, he’ll spend his time with people who value his opinion and the person behind the mask.

Anyway cue all the Batkids trying to do what Steph did and fail because they’re neurotic shits who think bonding involves doing casework together or a steak out.

(The next person to crack it is Damian, completely unintentionally he has a fight with Bruce and can’t ask him how the fuck he’s supposed to solve this equation in the new stupid way they’re teaching him no he can’t use the old method they’re supposed to show their work so he pulls up to Dick and Donna’s in a ratty ass hoodie like plz wtf do you mean you work top down explain Grayson- and dicks like awww no problem kid)

[t1meslayer]

Trying something a little different today.

Inspired by the incomparable @alchemicallymoon, I'm going to do a postmortem commentary on my latest fanfiction. If you haven't read "Stone-Cold Lovers" Chapter 3 on AO3, now's your chance!

I've done similar things in the past, with my Pre-Preparation of Shiver post for "Splatoon B-Mix," but I'm really testing the waters to make this a more regular occurrence — possibly even going back to older works. If you enjoy, let me know!

Tons of rambling beneath the cut. You've been warned <3

Alright. I can't think of any better place to begin talking about "Stone-Cold Lovers" than to mention it's a classic piece (in the era sense, though also in the literary sense). I started publishing fanfic in 2019, right around the time I was graduating from college. A bunch of pieces I wrote are still exclusively available on FanFiction.net, but I've slowly been transitioning them with a fresh coat of paint.

"Stone-Cold Lovers" was the sixth story I published on FanFiction. As I mentioned in Chapter 1 of the AO3 version, it came back to mind after Pokemon Masters EX introduced a Halloween alt for Roxanne.

Pokemon Crystal was my first "real" video game (not counting educational content like Sesame Street games), but Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire began my infatuation with the series. This was partially due to the fact that I could read the text on my own, which meant I could keep replaying to do little challenge runs.

===

Fun Fact: One of the most prominent challenge runs I can recall involved catching a full team of Wingull. I named the Pelipper of my team "Sergeant," and the rest had other army designations. I would later copy this idea using shiny Ambipom and Aipom in HeartGold and SoulSilver that I obtained through entirely legal means for a rare item Pickup group.

===

More Fun Fact: My favorite challenge run to this day is completing Pokemon FireRed with a single Clefable. I always really liked how many TMs a single Clefable could learn.

===

All of that is to say I seared Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald into my brain by playing it all the time on the schoolyard and at my grandparents' house in Florida. It remains my favorite region to this day. However, I didn't fall in love with Roxanne until the Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire character designs came out.

Important note: I have shipping charts for basically every character-heavy... Anything. Something about pairing people up always makes my brain go brr. My body of creative writing speaks to many of the headcanons I've whipped up over the years. Similarly, I have headcanons about which Pokemon protag serves as the "main character" or "rival" in each title.

Yes, you can ask about my opinions. I will undoubtedly answer.

Brendan and Roxanne came into this framework because as much as I also love Brendan and May, I quickly fell into the rabbit hole of Brendan Champion/May Contest Idol, and therefore I'm legally obligated to ship May and Lisia. My original FanFiction Author Note says I'd been thinking about the idea for "a while," but frankly I don't remember where exactly it originated. All I know is that my goal was May scolding Brendan for being an oblivious dope.

This is not autobiographical.

As far as I know.

My truest sense-memory regarding this piece is writing the Rustboro opening in a Barnes & Noble parking lot at night, on the same night that I scored a new freelance gig (it didn't last all too long in the end). However, I helpfully noted that the Brendan and May banter was inspired by a FanFiction story called "Critical Hit" by Alphinia (it's still live!) and Carly Chaikin's Darlene from Mr. Robot. That was ending in 2019. Pokemon Sword and Shield were about to come out. The timeline lines up.

It's also very funny to imagine May as a raunchy, tomboyish smartass who also happens to love the fame that comes with princess-y Pokemon Contest shenanigans. Good headcanon.

The seeds of an idea for a date follow-up existed back then. My first inkling was to do a scene where, essentially, Brendan fucks the whole thing up by using Sandstorm in the middle of a food court because he's trying to impress Roxanne. Most of the set dressing around that, such as using ORAS' Street Thug trainer class (here portrayed by Shio — after ramen to reference the naming scheme of every trainer in Mauville Food Court), came later.

===

Fun Fact (again): This is the first piece I've written using a new program called StimuWrite by Eve Harms, which was suggested by my beta reader. I liked being able to put my brain somewhere other than a blank white page, though all of the extra bells and whistles aren't all that necessary for me. Plus, I wound up jumping back-and-forth between the page and my 20 tabs of research anyway, so...

We'll see where this tool lands.

===

A lot of my decisions regarding the style of "Stone-Cold Lovers" Chapter 3 were based on concurrent reading; I recently joined a book club, and we just finished Babel by R.F. Kuang. My experience with Zine editors such as @kiliofdurinsline (Shrapnel) on Homemade in Hyrule (still available to pre-order!!!) helped me focus on creative writing structure and clarity rather than the more "vibes" based approach I leaned on. But Babel's rich descriptions suggested that I perhaps moved too far in the direction of snippets. So, here I tried to more robust scene-setting.

The bit about Gardevoir reading Brendan's emotions is being back on my bullshit trying to capture "vibes," though. I'm often a proponent for Psychic-types having full telepathy, especially Gardevoir given its canon emotional connections, but I decided the silent implications were more fun to play. I'm also a big proponent of leaning into the medium by using all of AO3's formatting HTML for things like Gardevoir's text. Hence my abundance of italics, or even the House of Leaves-style page falling apart for Arven's nightmare in "Paradiso."

Another note from Shrapnel that I took to heart: Give each character a stable of description types to help them emphasize their personality. That's why Gardevoir's movements use ballet terms (many of which I had to look up, like "bras bas").

One bit that I thought about a lot was Roxanne's response to weather talk. I knew that she should flirt by saying any weather would be great alongside Brendan, and the verbiage "would that it were" stuck. A bit of Googling revealed that the phrase doesn't mean what my brain thought it does — it actually refers to wanting a better reality than you currently have. But it rolls off the tongue... So, I decided to play with that disparity by having know-it-all Roxanne correct her old professor, even when recounting a heartfelt memory.

Also, I'd be lying to you if I said goofy teenager who can't speak French wasn't an integral part of my planning.

The battle scene is pretty straightforward, it was mostly fun to incorporate the idea of Brendan being over-leveled by having him immediately wipe the floor with this tough guy, Shio. This especially goes well with the Mauville Food Court gimmick of finishing your battles within set time limits. Hopefully little descriptors like the space-warping Boomburst help make up for how short it is.

But with all of that said, there's only one place left to go:

Roxanne's outfit

That's right! Brendan wears his contest attire, but Roxanne wears an entirely unique creation. I did something very similar to my experiments with Shiver by digging around Tumblr tags for specific outfit pieces to cobble together as part of Roxanne's preppy and academic wardrobe.

I essentially wanted to put Roxanne in an "elevated" version of her typical uniform. For example, something with a nicer blouse. When I saw this post by stiefel-rock-bluse, I knew it was the one. That ruffled 'V' is perfectly suited for comparisons to a fossilized ribcage.

Had to tuck that blouse into a nice skirt, too. I did toy with the idea of going full suit-style with slacks, but Roxanne feels like a skirt girl to me. So I settled on this pleated skirt shared by zoesrepository, at least in-part because I wanted a brown-and-white motif to reflect... Rock stuff.

Having exposed legs also introduced the opportunity to describe a bit of Roxanne's obsession with fossils. If I get callouses on my hands from doing ceramics, she can have some scuffs on her legs from digging in the dirt.

My inspiration for her off-the-shoulder draped jacket is largely me doing silly cape shenanigans with my jackets, but for the style I went with this cover image from an article by The Girl From Panama:

In brown, of course. That really emphasizes the idea that it looks like strata.

Because rocks.

Unrelated to rocks, I was originally toying with a different idea for her jacket, one based on this image of Kendall Jenner uploaded by disarmluna:

Ultimately I liked the draped idea better, but I kept on the idea of it being corduroy. Also, I took Roxanne's "loafers" from here.

For accessories, I riffed on one of my favorite pieces of lore introduced by Pokemon Masters EX: the idea that Steven Stone is in a club with all of the Rock-type experts who love collecting shiny rocks. Steven knows how to give some specialized gifts, and in this case I gave Roxanne a single earring, as shared by gemville, because 1) red; 2) flowers; and 3) stalactite. I went with one rather than a pair because I think it's a cute asymmetrical thing.

Then, of course, I imagine her nails alternate blue and red ala Nosepass/Probopass. Finally, Roxanne's elevated school uniform look had to retain a tie. What better way to keep that tie in place than with a clip inspired by the one, the only, our boy: Anorith.

If the Yanma inhaler from "Peaks and Caverns" is anything to go by, y'all know I love to invent kitschy merchandise that will unfortunately never be acknowledged by Game Freak/The Pokemon Company.

===

That's about all I've got. I'm not sure whether I'll return to this story again — the five-year pipe dream is already a big accomplishment in my book. But I'm really glad I finally closed the book on a longstanding idea in celebration of Valentine's Day! And I'm sure one day, if I can get through the rest of my insane backlog, I'd be happy to write further shenanigans between these two Hoenn lovebirds.

[sweeterlovers]

FOR YOU / CHARLES LECLERC + LOGAN SARGEANT

logan sagreant x leclerc ex & youtuber reader / SMAU FIC

FACE CLAIM / addy kate

WARNINGS / cheating and logan is still on the grid with williams

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f1wagupdates Charles Leclerc and his girlfriend Y/N L/N have broken up. They announced through instagram!

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user6 i wonder why they broke up???

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user33 once a cheater always a cheater

user0 she probably deserved it

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user66 💔 💔 💔

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user9 the truth always come out

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yourusername in my reputation era 🖤

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user3 the dress is adorable 🎀🎀

user262 going to miss seeing her in the paddock

user3 logan and y/n were my favorite americans on the grid

user986 she should get with logan 😭😭

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yourusername i would die if she announced it

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user3 i hate how charles never took her to the eras tour……

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yourusername sometimes you just need to have a night out with your girls ❤️🖤

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yourusername cute dress & good food ❤️🖤🤍

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logansargeant i’m making this post while your sleeping on my lap (post swim) i can’t help but feel so much love for you. you are the embodiment of sunshine. you light up the room. these past few months with you have been the highlight of my life. having someone like you beside me has truly lit up my world. who knew that someone’s lost and mistake would change my life forever. i hope that in 10 years you will still be by my side, on our porch, in our house in florida. i love you y/n, thank you for taking a chance on me 🫶🫶

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user4 THIS IS SO ROM COM CODED

user33 charles could never

yourbsf logan i was skeptical at first, knowing how broken y/n was but you have seriously made y/n so so happy. this is the happiest a boy has ever made her. those couple of months with you has truly changed her. i could care less about the backlash my comment might cause but thank you for treating my best friend the way charles couldn’t.

logansargeant your approval genuinely means so much

user3 the greenest flag

yourusername i’m crying right now, i love you logan i truly do. thank you for showing me what a boyfriend should be like. i can’t wait to have a future with you. (i need to make a post to one up you)

logansargeant i love you too, don’t worry you can post anything and i’ll give you it all ❤️i’ll let you beat me in anything

yourusername AWWW YOU REALLY LOVE ME

logansargeant i really do

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yourusername thank you for teaching me what love truly feels like

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logansargeant i love you so so much

yourusername i love you too

yourfriend 🤍🤍🤍

yourbsf “he’s a good man savannah”

yourusername LMAO

yourusername on a real note he really is a good man

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TEAM RADIO / SWEETERLOVERS - i had this idea in my notes app for a while and i actually did it!!!

[its-avalon-08]

Omg you recent lando fic has me smiling like crazy no joke.

I was hoping I could request something similar ish. Where reader is Max.V. Sister and Lando wants it to be secre, bu the reade thinks he only wants to keep it secret because he's going to break up with her soon. (Dating for a while), and when the reader tells Carlos this, he tells Lando, who decides to let the whole world know by running up to her and kissing her just before the race.

secrets and shushed voices (ln4)

✦ pairing - lando norris x female!reader

✦ genre - angst, tears, comfort

The buzz of conversation in the Red Bull hospitality was overwhelming, but Y/N Verstappen had mastered the art of tuning it out. She adjusted her team polo, flipping through her notes for Max's debrief, when she felt a presence near her. Without looking up, she muttered, “Unless you have coffee for me, I’m not interested.”

A soft chuckle answered her. “What if I said I could charm you into being interested?”

Her head snapped up, eyes narrowing at the source. Lando Norris leaned casually against the table, his grin infuriatingly perfect.

“Charm me?” she repeated with a raised eyebrow. “Bold of you to assume that’s possible.”

“Bold is my middle name,” he shot back, undeterred.

“Funny,” she quipped, turning back to her notes. “I thought it was ‘Overtakes on Softs.’”

His laugh was genuine, and she hated that it made her chest flutter. “Touché, Verstappen. Touché.”

Over the next few months, their paths crossed often—media days, driver briefings, paddock run-ins. Lando made it his mission to tease her relentlessly, and to her dismay, she found herself looking forward to it.

One afternoon, she’d been ranting about how Max ignored her race notes.

“I bet he ignores them because you write, like, an essay for every corner,” Lando teased, plopping down beside her in the lounge.

“You’ve never even seen my notes!”

“I don’t need to. You scream ‘overachiever.’”

She rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide her grin. “And you scream ‘class clown.’”

“Ah, but clowns are memorable.”

“Annoying, more like.”

“Annoyingly charming,” he corrected with a wink, making her laugh despite herself.

--

Their playful banter became a staple in the paddock, much to the amusement of their teams. Max often shot her knowing looks, while Carlos liked to poke Lando with, “Mate, just ask her out already.”

But Lando enjoyed the chase. Every lingering glance, every sarcastic comment, every moment they shared—it all felt electric.

One night after a particularly chaotic post-race party, they found themselves on a quiet balcony overlooking the marina.

“You’re surprisingly tolerable when you’re not trying to be funny,” Y/N remarked, leaning against the railing.

“And you’re surprisingly fun when you’re not intimidating,” Lando countered, nudging her playfully.

She looked at him, the usual walls in her eyes softening. “You don’t actually think I’m intimidating, do you?”

“Only in the best way,” he said, his voice quieter now. “You’re... different, Y/N. In a good way.”

Her breath hitched slightly, but she covered it with a smirk. “You’re such a flirt, Norris.”

“Only with you.”

--

It was after a rainy qualifying in Silverstone when everything changed. Y/N had stayed late in the garage, waiting for Max, when Lando appeared, soaked and grinning.

“What are you still doing here?” she asked, handing him a towel.

“Trying to decide if I should do something really stupid,” he said, his voice unusually serious.

“What kind of stupid?”

“This kind.”

Before she could process his words, he leaned in, his lips brushing hers softly. The world seemed to blur as she kissed him back, a hundred unspoken moments between them finally falling into place.

--

Dating Lando was like stepping into a secret world. Behind closed doors, he was thoughtful, goofy, and overwhelmingly sweet. But in the paddock, he insisted they keep their relationship under wraps.

“It’s not that I’m ashamed,” he’d said one evening, his hand brushing her hair back as they lounged on the couch. “I just want us to have this—our thing—without the world tearing it apart.”

She had nodded, understanding his reasoning, but over time, doubt began to creep in. What if he wasn’t ready to commit? What if this secrecy was his way of keeping an exit strategy?

As Lando hugged her tightly after another stolen moment in the shadows of the McLaren motorhome, her thoughts spiraled.

He’s holding on so tight, but for how long? Am I just a phase he’s going to grow out of?

His voice broke through her haze. “You okay?”

She forced a smile, burying her face in his shoulder. “Yeah. Just tired.”

But as he held her, all she could think was, How much longer until he decides to let go?

--

Y/N sat in the McLaren hospitality, her hands gripping a lukewarm cup of tea she wasn’t drinking. She’d just watched Lando breeze past her in the paddock—no glance, no smile, not even a quick touch on the arm. He’d turned the charm on for the cameras as if she didn’t exist, leaving her to stew in the weight of their secrecy.

She set the cup down with a loud clink and stormed out. A short walk later, she was in the Ferrari hospitality, where Carlos and Rebecca sat chatting.

“Carlos,” she blurted, her voice trembling. “He’s going to break up with me.”

Carlos frowned, sitting up straighter. “¿Qué? Who’s breaking up with you?”

“Lando!” she exclaimed, collapsing onto the couch beside Rebecca, her emotions spilling over. “He doesn’t want this anymore—I know it!”

Rebecca placed a calming hand on Y/N’s knee. “Slow down, cariño. What happened?”

Y/N sniffled, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket. “It’s everything. He didn’t even look at me this morning. No hug, no kiss. Nothing. He just… walked past me like I wasn’t even there. And it’s not just today—it’s been months of hiding. He insists on keeping this a secret. I thought it was romantic at first, like we had something private, but now—” Her voice cracked as tears streamed down her cheeks.

“Now you think it’s because he’s trying to find an easy way out,” Carlos finished, his tone heavy with disapproval.

Y/N nodded, sobbing into her hands. “He says it’s to protect us, but I don’t feel protected, Carlos. I feel like I’m not good enough for him to want people to know.”

Rebecca pulled Y/N into a hug, rubbing her back soothingly. “Oh, sweetheart, you’re more than good enough. If anything, it’s him who’s too blind to see what he’s doing to you.”

Carlos crossed his arms, his brow furrowed in thought. “Has he given you any reason to believe he doesn’t care about you anymore? Other than the secrecy?”

Y/N hesitated, her voice muffled against Rebecca’s shoulder. “It’s all the little things. He’s so different when we’re alone—he’s kind and loving and makes me feel like I’m the only person in the world. But the second we step into the paddock, it’s like I don’t exist. I just… I can’t do this anymore.”

Carlos’s face hardened, his protective side kicking in. “He needs to hear this, Y/N. But not from you—no, not while you’re like this.” He stood abruptly. “I’ll talk to him.”

“No!” Y/N sat up, her eyes wide. “You’ll just make things worse!”

“I won’t,” Carlos said firmly. “But he’s my friend, and I’m not going to sit here and watch him break your heart because he’s too much of an idiot to see what he’s doing. He needs a reality check.”

Rebecca nodded in agreement. “Carlos is right. He knows Lando better than anyone—you should let him handle it.”

Y/N sniffled again, her resolve softening under Rebecca’s calming presence. “You’re sure you won’t tell him I sent you?”

Carlos crouched in front of her, his expression softer now. “I’ll make it about what I’ve noticed. He’ll never know you said anything.”

Y/N nodded reluctantly. “Okay.”

Rebecca gave Y/N a comforting squeeze before Carlos kissed her on the forehead. “I’ll fix this, amiga. Trust me.”

As Carlos left, Y/N leaned into Rebecca’s side, her tears slowing but her heart still heavy. “What if he really does want to break up with me?”

Rebecca stroked her hair gently. “Then he’s the biggest fool on the planet, and we’ll make sure he knows it.”

--

Carlos leaned back in his chair in the McLaren hospitality, casually sipping on a bottle of water as Lando scrolled through his phone. They had been talking about summer break plans, with Lando suggesting a group trip to Ibiza.

“Ibiza would be fun,” Carlos said, setting his bottle down. “But only if you bring your girlfriend.”

Lando choked slightly, quickly glancing around to see if anyone overheard. “Shh, man!” he hissed, leaning closer. “What if someone hears you?”

Carlos rolled his eyes. “This is exactly what I wanted to talk to you about.”

Lando frowned, confused. “What do you mean?”

Carlos straightened, his tone turning serious. “Y/N came to see me today. She’s convinced you’re going to break up with her.”

“What?!” Lando’s voice rose before he quickly lowered it, glancing around again. “Why would she think that?”

“Because, mate, you’re treating her like some big secret, like she’s something you’re ashamed of,” Carlos said bluntly. “Every time you refuse to acknowledge her in public, every time you say no to posting a picture or holding her hand, she feels like she’s not enough for you.”

Lando’s face paled, his phone slipping from his hand. “That’s not… I don’t—” He stopped, his mind racing. “I’ve never said I’m ashamed of her. I thought she understood why I wanted to keep it private.”

Carlos leaned forward, his eyes hard. “She might have understood at first, but it’s been ten months, Lando. She’s tired. And frankly, I don’t blame her.”

Lando opened his mouth to argue but stopped as Carlos’s words sank in. His mind spiraled into a series of flashbacks.

-flashback-

He remembered the first time she’d asked if she could post a picture of them on her story. It was a harmless shot—just their intertwined hands on a table.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he’d said quickly. “You know how people can be.”

Her smile faltered, but she nodded. “Yeah. I get it.”

-flashback-

After a race in Monaco, Y/N had waited for him by the McLaren motorhome. When she tried to hug him, he’d gently pushed her into the shadows.

“Not here,” he’d whispered, glancing around nervously.

Her shoulders had slumped, and she took a step back. “Right. Sorry.”

-flashback-

At a post-race party, Rebecca had taken a picture of them laughing together. Y/N had been so happy, showing it to him with a hopeful smile.

“Becca sent this to me. Can I share it?”

Lando had hesitated. “Maybe not. It’s just… better if we keep it private.”

The light in her eyes had dimmed, though she tried to mask it with a nod. “Okay.”

present day

Lando’s chest tightened as the memories hit him. He hadn’t realized how often he’d dismissed her feelings or how much his need for secrecy had chipped away at her confidence.

“She thinks I want to break up with her?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Carlos nodded, his expression softening. “She’s scared, Lando. She loves you, but she’s scared that you don’t feel the same way.”

Lando ran a hand through his hair, his heart aching. “I’m such an idiot.”

Carlos smirked faintly. “You said it, not me.”

Lando ignored the jab, his mind already working. He couldn’t let her think he didn’t care. He couldn’t let her feel like she wasn’t enough.

“I need to fix this,” he said firmly, standing up so fast that his chair scraped against the floor.

Carlos leaned back with a satisfied grin. “About time.”

Lando’s mind raced with ideas, his determination growing. He’d spent months hiding their relationship from the world—now, he’d show everyone exactly how much she meant to him.

--

The pre-race chaos was in full swing. Mechanics bustled about, drivers made their final rounds with engineers, and the paddock buzzed with energy. Y/N stood to the side near the McLaren garage, watching quietly as Lando spoke with his team. Her arms were crossed, her heart heavy from the morning’s events.

She had seen him arrive, head down, moving past her like she didn’t exist. Again. The weight of the past few months pressed down on her chest, making it hard to breathe.

Rebecca’s words from earlier played in her head: “If he doesn’t see what he’s doing to you, then he doesn’t deserve you.”

Maybe he doesn’t.

Suddenly, she noticed Carlos walking toward Lando, giving him a nudge and pointing in her direction. Lando froze, his head snapping up. Their eyes met briefly before Y/N turned away, unable to handle the hurt.

But before she could step back into the crowd, she heard his voice calling her name.

“Y/N!”

Her heart jumped. She turned to see Lando jogging toward her, his race suit partially unzipped and flapping as he moved. She frowned, confused. What is he doing?

As he reached her, he stopped, slightly out of breath. “I need to talk to you.”

“Now? You’re about to race,” she said, her tone wary.

“Now,” he insisted, his blue eyes locking onto hers with an intensity that made her stomach flip. “I’ve been an idiot, and I need to fix this.”

“Lando, what are you—”

He didn’t let her finish. Instead, he stepped forward, cupping her face gently with his hands. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, his voice breaking slightly. “I’m so sorry for making you feel like you’re not enough, for hiding what we have, for… everything.”

Her breath caught in her throat. “Lando…”

“I was scared,” he admitted, his forehead resting against hers. “Not of being with you, but of the world ruining what we have. I thought I was protecting us, but all I did was hurt you, and I hate myself for it.”

Tears welled in her eyes, but she blinked them back. “I thought you didn’t want me anymore,” she whispered.

His eyes widened in shock. “No. God, no. I want you, Y/N. I love you. I’ve loved you since the day we met, and I’m done pretending I don’t.”

Before she could process his words, he pulled her into a kiss—deep and unapologetic, right there in the middle of the paddock.

The world around them seemed to pause. For a moment, there was only him—his lips on hers, his arms wrapped tightly around her, as if he was afraid to let go.

When they finally broke apart, she noticed the stunned silence around them. Cameras clicked furiously, and the hum of murmured voices grew louder.

“Lando…” she started, her cheeks flushed.

He grinned, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead. “Let them talk. I don’t care anymore.”

“But the team, the media—”

“Let them say what they want,” he interrupted, his voice firm. “I’m not hiding you anymore, Y/N. You’re my girlfriend, and the whole damn world is going to know it.”

Y/N stared at him, her heart pounding. His words, his actions—it was all so overwhelming.

“Say something,” he said nervously, his grin faltering.

She threw her arms around his neck, holding him tightly. “I love you too,” she whispered, her voice cracking with emotion.

Cheers erupted around them, and Carlos’s loud, teasing whistle cut through the noise. “¡Eso es, chico! About time!”

Lando laughed, resting his chin on her shoulder. “You good now?”

Y/N nodded, her tears finally spilling over—but this time, they were happy ones. “Yeah. I’m good.”

“Good,” he said, pulling back just enough to look at her. “Because I’m not going anywhere, and I’m making sure everyone knows it.”

She smiled through her tears, and he kissed her again, sealing the promise with every ounce of love he felt.