#my favorite thing about people is that when professionals in their respected field come across inaccurate portrayal or depiction

[starmocha]

Novel ▪︎ Partner Go Go

[chelleztjs18]

Lost in Assistance - Ch. 4

Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader

GIF: I do not own this GIF. Found it on gifimage.net

Summary: Y/n is a professional celebrity's personal assistant in Hollywood got hired with two years contract to be the assistant of the famous and talented Elizabeth Olsen / Lizzie by her manager. Both Y/n and Lizzie hate each other since day one, and they have mutual friend. One is as stubborn as the other, will Y/n stay when Lizzie gives attitudes and tries her best to make her quit before the contract ends?

Warning: fluff, angst, smut (in future chapters), swearing words ( +18 only)

All chapters

Today is Wednesday but not just a regular Wednesday. It’s the day of the meeting with Elizabeth Olsen and her manager, Jane Vernon.

Your phone alarm sounds break the silence in your room slowly but sure it gets louder enough to motivate you to start the day. You woke up with mixed feelings. Excited yet nervous at the same time. You turn on some music. Sunset Lover - Petit Biscuit starts to play and you get ready. After a fresh shower, you put on just enough nude color makeup then you go to your walk-in closet to pick a close-fitting button up white shirt with burgundy stripes and black slim fit women's suit and trousers with burgundy open toe high heels that match with your nails color since it’s your favorite color. You get your side parted wavy medium length burgundy colored hair done that makes it flow down to your shoulder. You may be the type of girl who doesn’t really like to put on much makeup, but you take your hair, clothings and nails pretty seriously as well as your perfume.

As soon as you are all ready and putting your heels on while sitting on a little sofa in the middle of your closet, your phone rings. You guessed that it’s Mitchel and you are right. 

“Good morning darling.” You answered as you continued to put on your shoes. “Oh wow, that's the spirit! Good morning love! Are you excited for today? Are you ready?” said Mitchel on the other end. “Well, yeah but no but also yeah that I’m all ready to go.” You replied while you took another look in front of the mirror and slowly twirled to make sure you looked good. Then you spray a little bit of perfume and you are ready to go downstairs while still on the phone. “Okay great. I will see you over there, I want to say hi to Jane. Everything will be okay. Don't be nervous, okay Y/n?” Mitchel tried to make you feel better. “Thank you Mitchel. I appreciate it. I’m leaving soon so I’ll see you there. Bye.” You grab your medium size leather purse and go downstairs.

As usual, your mom is already awake, sitting on the big living room couch. “Morning Ma. I have a meeting this morning. It shouldn’t be that long but you know Mitchel, he might want to have brunch after that but just call me if you need anything, okay? Love you Ma.” You gave her a hug and went to the garage. “Okay hun. Good luck. Love you too.”

You put on your prescription aviator style sunglasses, blast some music to amp you up started by White Lies - Odesza then start driving. The sun was up but not too bright, the traffic wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be so you arrived there a little too early. 

As you walked into the lobby you saw a coffee shop so you decided to get some ice coffee for you. Just when your order is ready and you are about to grab it, you notice a familiar face whose order is ready too. It was Lizzie grabbing her order. Eye contact was caught between you two and you gave a smile just to be friendly and she replied with a nod and small smile. You recognize her even though her long dirty blonde hair flawlessly covers both sides of her face and she is wearing sunglasses that were intended to cover her face so she won’t be recognized. You both walk towards the elevator and blend in with a group of people in the elevator. You saw her pressed the floor button then she dived back into whatever she was doing with her phone. The elevator stopped on your floor, some people went out to go to other offices which are on the same floor as Vernon’s office. Lizzie went out as well but she stopped in front of the elevator to answer a phone call so she didn’t know that you both actually have the same destination to meet Jane.

After you greeted and talked to Aaron, Jane’s assistant, he informed you to wait in the waiting room. Few minutes later, you heard that Lizzie came in and was told the same thing as you were. She is sitting on the chair across you talking on the phone with her best friend about the plan to meet up after the meeting, while you are browsing on your phone and enjoying your ice coffee you can feel that sometimes she takes a quick glance once or twice at you without knowing who you are and why you are there. 

“I don’t even wanna be here. I still think it’s a stupid idea to get me another personal assistant. This already made me upset to begin with and it’s just gonna make me not like this person already even though I know it’s not her fault to get hired by Jane.” She tried to talk as quietly as possible but not quite enough for you not to be able to hear it. Aaron came and told her that she can come into the meeting room. “I gotta go, I’ll see you later after the meeting. Bye.”

She hangs up then proceeds to follow Aaron to the meeting room. After what you heard, you can only chuckle to yourself knowing this is not gonna be easy work between you both. Aaron comes for your turn. “Ms. Y/l/n, they are ready for you. You can come this way.” Aaron guides you to the meeting room. You smiled and thanked him as he opened the door for you.

You come into the meeting room that has large windows around it that give natural light and a pretty sky view decorated with clouds and top of skyscrapers of L.A with the trails of the streets and cars that look so small from up here. You see Lizzie is sitting next to Jane with Mitchel sitting in front of them, parted by a big rectangle glass table. 

“Y/n darling! You made it!” Mitchel came to you and gave you a cheek to cheek kiss as always. “Hi Mitch. I’m glad to be here.” You smiled.

“Come, let me introduce you to these fabulous ladies. Jane, Lizzie this is Y/n Y/l/n. She is my best friend slash the best personal assistant you are looking for. Y/n, this is Elizabeth Olsen and her manager Jane Vernon.” Mitch proudly introduces you to them. 

“Nice to meet you Y/n, Mitch talked a lot about you once he knew I was looking for a professional assistant. I hope you don't mind me calling you by your first name.” While Jane offered her hand for a friendly handshake yet felt so formal, you can see from the corner of your eyes Lizzie’s jaw dropped a little, looking at you up and down realizing you might have heard what she said on the phone earlier about you. “The pleasure is mine Mrs. Vernon and yeah I don't mind you calling me by my first name” You gave a firm professional handshake and smiled. “You can call me Jane.”

You then slightly turn your head to Lizzie and her beautiful green eyes are now so easily noticeable by you without her sunglasses on. “Ms. Olsen, It’s nice to meet you.” You smiled and tried to stay professional even though you know how she feels about this meeting and about you. There is an awkward vibe from Lizzie towards you since she thinks you heard her conversation but her stubbornness about this whole thing is bigger than the awkwardness itself that made the friendly Lizzie respond a little cold to you. “Thanks, same here.” She gave you a quick handshake but you can feel the softness of her skin even though just for a few seconds.

The four of you take a seat. “So Y/n, this is not an interview because practically you are already hired because I read your resume plus the reference from Mitch here. I gotta admit, it’s pretty impressive. Lots of years of experience working in this field, you have worked with big names in Hollywood. You speak five languages and that’s another big plus. We have this meeting just so we can sign the contract and agreement. I believe Mitch already gave you the details of Do’s and Don'ts and our expectation specially from Lizzie here.” Jane explained while she was looking at your resume then slid some papers in front of you on the table for you to take a look at it.

“Well, to be honest what I wanted was actually simple, I don’t want any new personal assistant but Jane insisted on giving it a try, so here I am. So, I hope you are as great as your resume Y/n to make my try worth it.” Lizzie said it in a quite firm tone with the best pretend smile she can do. Deep down she hoped what she just said would’ve just made you change your mind.

“Ha Ha Lizzie was just joking. Isn’t she funny?” Jane laughed awkwardly and tried to give Lizzie a look about what she said. 

“Is that so, Ms.Olsen? Don’t you worry about it. I hope the way I work and the way I do my job suits you.” You gazed at her eyes before you gave a fake smile. You tried to remind yourself in your mind that you respect Mitch and don’t want to put him in a hard time with his client even though Jane is a good friend of his otherwise your reaction would be different.

“This is the contract, it will be only for two years but it might be for less than that. If it does change to less than two years, there will be a notice in advance. It can also be terminated early if there is a mutual decision by both parties. All of this is written in it. It says you acknowledged and  agreed with what I just informed you. You can sign on every section that’s marked X” Jane explained all the details while she showed each point. You read everything, gazed at Lizzie’s mesmerizing green eyes and gave a little smirk to her then signed each section. As you can see, this clearly upset Lizzie.

“Okay, everything is good. In this envelope, there are all Lizzie’s schedules, addresses and numbers. Plus all lists what she likes and dislikes. Sometimes you need to drive with her, sometimes you don't have to. I’m sure you know the drill, but just a friendly reminder that everything is confidential, especially all Marvel related. You can start on Friday. I guessed that’s all. Welcome to our family Y/n. We are thrilled that you joined us here, right Lizzie?” Jane finalized everything with another handshake with you and Mitchel. “Yeah, sure. Now if you guys excuse me, I gotta go right now. Sorry.” Lizzie put a tiny smile in the corner of her lips, waved goodbye then left in a rush and looked upset.”

As soon as Lizzie left and the door was closed, Jane apologized. “Ummm, Mitchel, Y/n I’m truly sorry for how Lizzie acted earlier. Trust me, she is actually a very sweet, genuine and friendly person. That’s the reason I have been her manager and agent for years, she’s like a sister to me. It’s just that she sometimes can be very determined or stubborn with what she wants or what she doesn't want and not afraid to show it but I’m sure she will slowly understand why I need to have Y/n’s help. She just has anxiety when she has to adjust or deal with new people. I hope you guys can understand.”

“Don’t worry about that Jane. I have met Lizzie and I know how sweet she is. Like I told you before, Y/n has her own way of working and don't be surprised with how straight forward she is plus she doesn't sugar coat things. She is eccentric in a good way. Right Y/n?” He nudged your arm and smiled.

“Haha. yeah sure Mitch.” You answered jokingly. “I guess we better get going. Thank you Jane. Nice seeing you as always.” You and Mitch bid farewell to Jane and left. “Bye guys. See you again.” Jane walked back to her office room.

“Mitchel, what the hell was that? Why did she act like that? On top of all, why didn’t you tell me that she actually didn’t want an assistant?!” You tried to whisper so nobody at the office heard as you both were walking out of the office.

“Yeah about that, I forgot to tell you. I’m sorry. “ Mitch squinted his eyes waiting because he was worried how your reaction was gonna be.

“You are lucky we are best friends otherwise I wouldn’t sign that contract and would’ve said NO on the spot after what she said. I already don’t like her. This is not gonna be easy.” You said it jokingly but it has a little bit of truth in it.

“Haha. I love you too!” Mitch replied happily, knowing you would help him no matter what. Both of you parted, continue with your days.

Ch. 5

[rosesvioletshardy]

How to lose a hockey player in 10 days - mat barzal

okay here is the prologue for how to lose a hockey player. i'm sorry if it's not good or what you were hoping for but the person who was supposed to proof read it didn't and i didn't want to bother them about it - yes this is sort of based off of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days but with few things changed obviously

Summary: when 2 people are given similar bets, things may not go the way they think it'll go

(shit summary i'm sorry)

(also taglist is open)

Series masterlist

mat masterlist

masterlist

# of words: 574

warnings: none

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Mat Barzal. The star player and first line center for the New York Islanders and one of the most highly skilled players in the NHL.

Y/N L/N. Reporter, journalist, and one of the most respected workers in her field, especially at a young age.

The two have never met before but they have heard of each other and had mutual friends, yet they never crossed paths.

For a while now, Y/N has been wanting to write what she wanted to write about for the longest time yet she wasn’t allowed to and had to focus on her main job; “How will the season go for certain NHL players?” “What happened to this person during the season?” “What went wrong with this team and how they differ from the team in the past” and more.

It’s not like she hated it, it’s just there were times where she wanted to talk about more of the things that mattered in the league that no one ever talks about but her employer had her write things that undermined the players in ways she didn’t feel comfortable talking about.

“Y/N! Did you finish writing that piece yet?” her boss, Adam, had asked her, snapping her out of her thoughts

“About that, I did finish writing it but i wanted to talk to you about something” she asked him

“What is it? I have a meeting so this needs to be quick”

“Well, you know how I respect you and you respect me and my writing. I was wondering if I was able to do more with this job and actually talk about the sport and write about what i want to write about and make everyone feel better rather than undermine them as people and as professional athletes and show that they’re still normal people. I’m tired of having to write these horrible things about them and they deserve to be treated better” she had said all in one breath hoping to get the approval

“Y/N, you’re an amazing writer and one of my top journalists, but I can’t allow that. This is what the people want. They want the drama that happens within sports. They want to know that their favorites aren’t who they think they are.” Adam told her before speaking again

“I’ll tell you this. You’re single, correct?”

“Yes, but what does-”

“Okay if you can manage to get a single player to date you, doesn’t matter what team, to fall in love with you and get some dirt on them within 10 days, I’ll let you write whatever you want. You want to talk about mental health in the sports industry? Their plays? And how they should be playing and training? Do that and I’ll let you. I’ll let you have some time to think about it, there’s no pressure. Just come to me or email when you have your decision.”

“ Wait, but why 10 days?” she asked him, with confusion written across her face

“5 days is too short and we go to press in 11 days." he started before continuing

"listen, the regular season is almost over. We need this stuff quickly. That’s why as soon as trades happen or some sort of big news, it’s out within a few hours to a day.” Adam explained before leaving her alone, just standing there with millions of thoughts now running through her head wondering how she was going to pull this off.

[blakegopnik]

THE FRIDAY PIC is a page from Lucy Hogg’s “Monkey Painter,” the digital slide show (cum book, cum Instagram feed) that Pan Wendt has curated into his latest show at the Confederation Center for the Arts.

Feel free to ignore the comments on it that follow, because I admit they can’t have been written with the impartiality I normally aim for when I talk about art.

To steal a line from the poet Wendy Cope, Lucy Hogg is my favorite artist—and I like her artworks, too.

I think her “Monkey Painter” really stands out from most of the art I’ve seen over recent decades. I’m not sure I can think of anything quite like it. (Cue a dozen readers who remind me of similar—or not-really-so-similar—works I’ve forgotten.)

The 216 slides in “Monkey Painter” tell the story of Lucy’s life as an artist, from the moment she started art school, in 1977, to the moment, a bit more than a decade ago, when she gave up painting for photography (and for slide-show memoirs). Each slide consists of one of her artworks, shown to the left, and, to the right, a short bit of storytelling about the moment in her career it came out of. (Excerpts from the work are here.)

Lucy has had a career that’s pretty typical of most of our contemporaries 

who’ve managed to make a living as professional artists: a couple of degrees in the field; decades of production in various modes and styles; a respectable number of shows in both non-profits and galleries; a handful of sales that have just about paid for art supplies while food and shelter have come from gigs as a teacher. But even though this kind of artist’s life is typical, it has been almost completely neglected in the stories we tell ourselves about artmaking, or that our art has ever depicted. Those are almost completely dominated, to this day, by heroic tales that center around the kind of superstar artists who get profiled by art writers. (Mea culpa.)

“Monkey Painter” does a lovely job refocusing our attention on how most of today’s contemporary art really ends up getting made, and on the kind of quotidian challenges—social; material; artistic—that confront the people who make it. Lucy gives us a “Ballad of Sexual Dependency” for all the many artists who have never quite lived, or wanted to live, Nan Goldin’s vie de bohème. And like Goldin’s great work, the art of “Monkey Painter” inheres in the artistic life that’s depicted and also in the particularities of the images that depict it—which, as it happens, are also the art that the life’s built around.

One of the best things about Lucy’s project is that it doesn’t try to elevate the ordinary, Vermeer-wise. Instead, it allows us to take pleasure in its true ordinariness—or rather to understand the space that the ordinary, the truly ordinary, takes up in life and art. The slide show presents Lucy’s artworks in straightforward reproduction, without seeming to special-plead for their excellence. The texts beside them are equally straightforward and foursquare: Rather than commenting on the reproduced works, or trying to justify them, they just lay out the personal and professional circumstances that governed their making, at least as Lucy now remembers those moments. The storytelling is wildly understated, with a very quiet, very Canadian wit that hints at a tongue that might be thinking of heading into a cheek, but then decides that would be too showy. (The first line of the work: “In 1977 I became an Abstract Expressionist.”) I’m especially impressed by the exquisite balance and tension between image and text, such as I’ve rarely come across in other artworks. (The layout of the copy, different for each text/image pairing, subtly underlines that relationship.)

And even though it’s possible to read “Monkey Painter” as almost completely informational, even anti-retinal—as purely “ostentional,” to use a favorite word of mine—esthetics enter by the back door through all the works on display. But because of the vast variety of forms and styles that we’re presented with, spanning almost exactly three decades, we get a clear sense that any aesthetic parti pris has been put in doubt. The whole artistic enterprise, as represented by the image on the left side of each slide, becomes the inevitable product of, and maybe no more important than, the daily life-as-an-artist described in the text on the right.

With “Monkey Painter,” Lucy comes off as an appropriation artist whose sources happen to all be her own earlier works, many of which are themselves appropriations of Old Master paintings—giving us appropriation, cubed. This makes for a strange time-bending effect, as we negotiate the relationship between the Lucy of 2022, author of the appropriational “Monkey Painter,” and all the earlier versions of that same artist (often appropriational) that she presents to us. Lucy’s slide show creates a hall of mirrors that is so carefully calibrated and camouflaged that we can only barely tell we’re inside one. (Artwork image courtesy the Blake Gopnik Collection.)

[silentfcknhill]

FAVORITE SHOWS IN POSTERS

Well, we’re back for another installment of this tagged meme, this time for TV shows! I also stole this from/was indirectly tagged by @jcmorrigan. My taste in shows also differs a bit from my taste in movies, as I tend to like a lot of comedy shows with not as many horror ones. I’m not into shows as much as movies overall, but there are some that I am very passionate about so I picked twenty again. So, here we go for part 2, in order:

1. Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Legend Of Korra (2005-2014)

I'm including these as one show since they take place in the same universe and tell a continuation of the same overall plot. Altogether this is probably the best piece of media to ever exist, including movies. It has so many great characters and villains especially and some of the most epic sequences, charming humor and heartwarming moments ever. I've never met a person who didn't like these shows, even people who normally don't like cartoons. My dad, who is biased against animation? He loved it. My mother? She loved it, watched it with her multiple times. My grandmother? Loved it. My ex-boyfriend? Loved it. My best friend? Loved it. I dare anyone not to, and I'm so glad it's making a resurgence since it's on Netflix for a new generation to enjoy.

2. Black Butler (2008-2014)

I never was big into anime growing up and only really started watching anime when I was like 16 and above, but this is one of the exceptions because holy shit is it ever dark and epic. I'm not sure I'd really recommend it for kids, it's more of a teens and young adults kind of anime and that's probably why it's so good, because it isn't afraid to explore dark and mature topics and do it with all of the intensity and gravitas required to do said topics justice. It has lots of great characters, and the story of demons who make deals with children who have a dark side is fun to watch play out.

3. Seinfeld (1989-1998)

My dad was a huge fan of this show so I watched it growing up since I was a toddler and it became a classic for me. I've watched thw hole show through at least 8 times, and I'll never stop because it never gets old or boring. It's also my only comfort show when I'm having a panic attack because of one time a few years ago when I was having a drug-induced psychosis episode and watching it calmed me down, so now it's like the opposite of a trigger and whenever I'm having an episode or something I watch it to bring me back to reality. For that reason it's more than a show to me, it's a medical treatment and I'm forever grateful to it.

4. The Good Place (2016-2020)

The big four shows made my Michael Schur all made it on this post (The Good Place, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Office and Parks And Recreation), either in the main list of the honorable mentions, but this is my personal favorite of the four. It's so funny, quirky, relatable and basically tailor-made to suit my interests. Not only is it an entertaining and wholesome show, but I think watching it helped me come to terms with a lot of things like mortality, ethics, philosophy, religion and my relationships with other people. It gets  alot of different viewpoints across and if you're a very analytical and philosophical person like me you'll probably enjoy seeing it all play out. Not to mention, every single character is 'favorite character' material. It's rare you find a show with no filler characters in the main cast, but I genuinely can't choose who is best.

5. Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013-?)

Another of Michael Schur's shows, this one is just barely under The Good Place and to be honest it was tough to pick my favorite between the two because they're both equally funny. I know it's kind of controversial right now because of the whole law enforcement thing, but I actually think they do a good job of handling social issues in the show and remaining respectful of real-life systemic problems. As for the characters, this is another one of those shows where every single character is gold and I think that tends to be a trend among Schur's shows in general. He produces damn good comedy, and damn good characters. I can't wait to see what they bring next.

6. Rick And Morty (2013-?)

This is unfortunately one of those cases of 'great show, horrible fandom' and for that reason I don't get involved in the fandom even though I love the show. It's a shame because it really is a great show, so funny and, again, such good characters. I think it's a lot more accessible than the fandom likes to claim, so I'm hoping more people will give it a chance and not get put off by the intellectual elitism of the fandom because it does have some of the most entertaining and batshit crazy episodes ever, poking fun of some of the staples of science fiction in media while also poking fun of itself the whole time. Unlike the fandom, the show doesn't take itself seriously and that's enjoyable nowadays.

7. Orange Is The New Black (2013-2019)

While this show is a comedy, it is also a lot of other things and it's probably made me ugly-cry just as many times as it's made me laugh. Well, maybe not as often, but those few scenes (if you've watched the show then you know the ones I'm talking about) made me hysterically sob hard enough to be worth like fifty minor sads. But I didn't even mind because the show is just that good, and it makes you /feel/ something in a real way. Probably because of just how real it gets in terms of telling stories that happen all the time in the real world, sometimes with inevitably tragic endings. But these things do happen every day, and it's important to shine a light on that. It's not just representation for LGBTQ+ but also for POC, the neurodiverse, the poor, and many more. Give it a watch to broaden your perspective!

8. Big Mouth (2017-?)

This is probably the grossest show I've ever seen but by god is it ever funny. Maybe it's because I have an immature sense of humor or something, but I love this show. It definitely won't be everyone's cup of tea and I don't recommend you watch this show with anyone else around because it will get awkward. I think part of its appeal to me is that everyone I talk to who likes it considers it so relatable to their lives growing up but for someone like me who grew up on the autism and asexual spectrum and who was physically an early-bloomer by years, nothing about this show is relatable to me in any way so it makes it all the more crazy and bizarre watching how the people around me must have experienced things. Did y'all really have these experiences with puberty in middle school???

9. Dexter (2006-2013)

I recently heard that this show is coming back for a reboot soon and I'm so excited because this is my absolute favorite drama/thriller show, as evidenced by the fact that it's the highest one on the list so far that isn't a comedy. I love the idea of having a protagonist who is sort of a villain (or at least morally dubious), and the idea of a serial killer who only kills bad people is particularly satisfying for some reason. Maybe because he's the vigilante we all deserve and want in this unjust and evil world of modern times? Idk but the very premise of this show set it up for big things and aside from the ending I think it delivered consistently.

10. Once Upon A Time (2011-2018)

This show took us on some journeys, and you can't deny that. Sure, maybe it didn't always finish what it started and didn't always end in the most satisfying way, but part of its charm is that you didn't care because the experience was just so much fun. They took characters and stories that have been told to death and somehow managed to put a unique and unexpected twist on them, and that alone is admirable. Good twists, good villains, and pretty much every cliffhanger known to man will keep you hooked on binge-watching every episode.

11. RuPaul's Drag Race (2009-?)

A bit different than the other entries on my list in that it's not fiction but a reality competition show, but I couldn't leave Drag Race out because it's just so fucking iconic and perfect. Even when you disagree with the judges or can't stand a certain contestant you'll still be having a good time. It's got the personalities you love to love, the ones you love to hate, and the comedy that's completely meme-able. I mean just how much has this show contributed to pop culture and the internet? More than most of us, henny. I've watched every single season, even the international ones and all of the spinoffs. This show will probably be on for another thirty years when Ru is throwing shade from a hospital bed and I'll still be watching.

12. House (2004-2012)

Some people hate on this show, and I don't get it. I love House. Yes, he's an ass. That's the point. He's supposed to be unlikeable, and that's why I like him. Maybe because I always love the rude, sarcastic, misanthropic jerkass-genius characters for some reason. And I also love procedural shows, so it's a win-win. I also work in the healthcare field so it appeals to me for that reason too, because obviously the whole premise is outlandish which is what makes it funny. Of course it's not realistic for a hospital, so just enjoy the absurdity and don't get too hung up on the details of medical accuracy and professional ethics and you'll be fine.

13. The Office (2005-2013)

The third of Michael Schur's show and the last one that made the main list (sorry Parks And Rec, I love you too but there was just so many good shows to choose from and I saw you last so the nostalgia isn't as strong!) I don't think I need to hype this show up any, it's already a classic and you can't even turn around online without getting hit in the face by a dozen Office memes. You'll have to pry this show and it's relatable characters (especially Michael Scott) from my cold, dead hands.

14. All Hail King Julien/The Penguins Of Madagascar (2008-2017)

Like Avatar/Korra, I also consider this as one show for the sake of this list because it also takes place in the same universe (Madagascar, specifically) and I just couldn't choose one over the other because they're both so perfect. They're funny and I love all the characters (it cut out the weaker links of the Madagascar film series and just focuses on expanding the standout side-characters like King Julien and the penguins). It also delved into some lore, particularly the first show, and even though I didn't also agree with the directions it took (you may have seen me get salty about the ending because I cared too much), I can't deny how much I love it.

15. Bones (2005-2017)

One of the other scarce non-comedy shows on this list, it still has it's funny moments. It's also, like House, another procedural show that involves some medical stuff, but this time on a more scientific and forensic level which is even more interesting. It's nice to see a lead female with Asperger's, too. There's a lot of cop/law enforcement shows where they try to solve crimes, but this one is the best, and I'm saying that as a fan of CSI as well. Don't fight me on this, I'm right. Oh yes, it's corny, it's campy, it's cheesy, but I love every minute of it. Don't watch if you have a weak stomach though.

16. The Simpsons (1989-?)

We all grew up with this show, don't lie. It's been around longer than most people on tumblr have even been alive. Should it have ended seasons ago? Hell yes. But that doesn't take away what the first like 20 or so seasons gave us (there's a lot of argument about when the show jumped the shark, for me it wasn't until much later than the popular consensus). The characters are amazing, but the secret to the show's longevity is that they always return to status quo and there's comfort and nostalgia in that. Bart will still be in 4th grade when you're out there pushing 90. This show is persistent. This show is eternal. This show will outlive us all.

17. Ash Vs. Evil Dead (2015-2018)

Sorely underrated. This show is hilarious, gruesome and campy as hell and I love it. I don't think you necessarily have to watch the Evil Dead movies beforehand in order to get the plot of the show, although it would probably help. In my opinion this show ended way too soon and I'm hoping someday we'll get a comeback because Ash is the reluctant, self-absorbed hero we all need and it's 2020 so at this point there really might actually be a demon-zombie apocalypse and who's gonna save us then if not for the impulsive womanizer with a chainsaw for a hand?

18. Malcolm In The Middle (2000-2006)

Another show I grew up with, I don't think it gets as much credit as it deserves. It has some damn funny episodes and great characters, and it did a lot of the popular sitcom tropes before they were 'cool'. Some other great sitcoms, The Middle in particular, took a lot of influence from this show and it helped pave the way for the future of sitcoms at a time when they were about to make a comeback. If you want a good show about the real experiences of growing up, this is a much more accurate representation of the highs and lows of being an awkward tween from a dysfunctional home.

19. A Series Of Unfortunate Events (2017-2019)

Unlike most people I actually liked the movie version from the early 2000's, and I read the books growing up so I was excited when I saw there was a live action television adaptation of it on Netflix because I felt like they cancelled the movie franchise too soon. I was interested to see how new actors would handle the roles, and I was not disappointed. I wouldn't say I liked either portrayal of the characters better or worse, they both added their own twist to it and this show is a great and loyal adaptation to the books, probably because the author was so heavily involved. He knew just when to stick to the books and when to improve upon what he had done with the benefit of hindsight. This show is basically the books, but remastered.

20. Winx Club (2004-?)

Sort of an odd one out on this list, but I really love this show even as an adult and it may surprise you to learn it is still going on and the most recent season came out last year. They take big breaks sometimes in between seasons, but it's still going strong and in multiple countries. The only thing I don't like about watching this show is all the different and inconsistent dubs since the original show is Italian and each dub only goes for a couple seasons so by the time you get used to one set of voices/names for the characters oyu have to abruptly switch to another, but it's still worth it for the beautiful animation and cool characters (especially the villains!)

Honorable Mentions: 

13 Reasons Why, America's Next Top Model, American Horror Story, Arrested Development, Bates Motel, Battlestar Galactica, Black Mirror, Care Bears, Chernobyl, Courage The Cowardly Dog, Criminal, CSI, Duck Dodgers, Goosebumps, Kenny Vs. Spenny, Kim Possible, Kingdom Hospital, Lazytown, Lost, Making A Murderer, Mayday, Mindhunter, Modern Family, Monster High, Obsession: Dark Desires, Parks And Recreation, Prison Break, Project Runway, Queer As Folk, Queer Eye, Salem, Schitt's Creek, SCTV, Spongebob Squarepants, The Emperor's New School, The Good Doctor, The Haunting Of Hill House/Bly Manor, The Middle, The Pretender, The Walking Dead, The X-Files, Through The Wormhole, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Unsolved Mysteries, Yugioh

Tagging: @bullet-farmer​ and anyone else who wants to!

[hermannsthumb]

As per our convo, Newt getting set up with Hermann via Hermann’s father’s binder full of pre-approved suitors for his son...

(from @k-sci-janitor 👀) easily one of our funniest concepts yet. I was going to end on newt coming over for dinner scenario but I like the ominous open ending. I'm not actually sure when kaiju attacks fall in the PR timeline so excuse my handwaveyness, LOL

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hermann’s relationship with his father is what one would call strenuous at best, but—Hermann must admit, to the man’s credit, and in spite of his many flaws—he took the news of Hermann’s sexual orientation as unflinchingly as if Hermann had told him the day’s weather. It was a bit annoying, in fact. Hermann had agonized over the proper way to breach the subject for months, certain it spoke to some sort of personal ruin (whether ostracization from the Gottliebs or being forbade following through on any attraction he may feel whilst still living under the family roof, he wasn't sure), before finally simply announcing it one day at the breakfast table on a whim.

It had been a long-standing tradition that Hermann’s parents compile a binder—effectively of dossiers—on all the most eligible bachelors (for their daughter) and bachelorettes (for their sons) to aid in the choice of the latest Gottlieb mate. It was easiest this way, or so Hermann and his siblings were told. Parental approval was already secured. The histories of each were already secured, which bypassed any nasty shocks that might emerge in the courtship stage. Most of them were children of his father's colleagues or bright minds in their own rights: surgeons, and dentists, and mathematicians. Poets were strictly forbidden.

The occasion of Hermann’s breakfast table announcement had also been the day Hermann’s father presented him with his very first binder of prospective mates—a few days after his eighteenth birthday, and shortly before he was to go off to begin work on his PhD. His father had slid him a hand-written binder of names, no more than a dozen, and all with accompanying photographs. “All are accomplished young women,” he assured Hermann. “We can arrange any meetings of your choice over your winter holidays.”

Hermann glared down at the row of frozen smiles. He stabbed his fork into his cooked tomato wedge. “I don’t want to marry any of these women,” he said, and turned his glare on his father. He still had a rebellious streak in him at that point, something nurtured by a charismatic young man he used to trail after in boarding school, who pierced Hermann’s ear with a sewing needle in the boys’ toilets and listened to songs about setting things on fire. In late this streak had manifested itself in Hermann in nicking packets of cigarettes from his father’s study, one of which was in his pocket now. The weight of it made Hermann feel bolder. “I don’t want to marry any woman,” he continued. “I like men.”

The binder was drawn away in silence, and Hermann was free to eat his toast and tomatoes. The next morning a binder of young men was in its place.

(In a way the acceptance infuriated Hermann. It meant he could not blame his father’s obvious dislike for him on an unfounded, homophobic prejudice; rather, it was a result of Hermann’s own personal failings.)

The binder was placed at Hermann’s breakfast plate every day until he left for his studies. It was placed at his plate when he returned from them five years later. Not even the emergence of the kaiju from the bottom of the ocean shortly after Hermann turned twenty-four dampened his father’s hopes, nor turning all their scientific efforts towards the new jaeger program: some names were removed from the binder (the reasoning Hermann shudders to think at), more still were added, though Hermann is expected only to consider it once a week now on account of his busy schedule. This was one of such days.

“Your brother is very happy with his wife,” Hermann’s father reminds him. “She was one of my first suggestions for him, in fact.”

Hermann is not fond of his sister-in-law. Too rude—too cold. Though perhaps that makes her perfect for Hermann’s brother. “Haven’t we got bigger things to worry about these days than whether or not I’m going to marry?” Hermann says. He adds milk to his tea. “I’m sure they’re all, er, marvelous selections, only—”

“Your sister, too, with her husband,” father says.

Hermann sighs. He hasn’t got much of the rebellious streak he used to in him anymore—too stressed. Not fancying a fight before they’ve even begun today’s coding work, he picks up the binder and begins flipping through it. Sons of engineers working on the jaeger program with them, prominent young chemists, many of whom Hermann has been presented with since he was eighteen. Plenty of them are even handsome. Half of Hermann wonders if he should just pick the least-unappealing one of the bunch and be done with it already. He turns the page over and freezes. “Oh,” he says. “This one is—new.”

“Hm?” father says.

Hermann holds up the binder, tapping at a new entry. “Newton Geiszler.”

“Dr. Geiszler,” father says, nodding. “A child prodigy from Berlin—he’s made tremendous strides in kaiju science in such little time. And,” he adds, “three PhDs. Two of them before he even turned twenty.” The unspoken implication was that Dr. Geiszler far surpassed Hermann in intelligence and Hermann should feel ashamed for not skipping as many grades as Dr. Geiszler.

Hermann feels he ought to resent Dr. Geiszler for it, but he's finding it difficult to summon up any animosity towards him. It's likely because Hermann finds Dr. Geiszler to be strikingly handsome in his photograph: cheeks which haven’t quite lost their baby fat (giving him the appearance of being a scruffy hamster), large, thick glasses, tousled hair, an easy grin. Three PhDs, and German at that. And a child prodigy? “I’m surprised you haven’t mentioned him to me before,” Hermann says. He seems precisely the sort father would. Geiszler’s photograph is black-and-white and a bit grainy, but Hermann swears he could make out the lightest bit of freckles across his cheeks.

“I’d not heard of him until he published an article last week on kaiju biology,” father says. “Besides—he’s moved to America.”

Geiszler has three piercings up the side of his left ear. “I am going to write to him,” Hermann declares.

Father nods, and picks up his newspaper, clearly already disinterested. They speak no more of it that day.

It is not hard to find Dr. Geiszler online (his name is not the most common, and his field of study certainly isn’t), nor is it hard to match his photograph to his faculty page on MIT’s website. From there, Hermann retrieves Dr. Geiszler’s email address. He takes the evening to read over Geiszler’s publications spanning back to 2003 before he gathers up the courage to type out an actual email.

Dear Dr. Geiszler,

You do not know me, but I have recently been made acquaintance with your work and find it—Hermann pauses—scintillating. My father and I are—Hermann backspaces this—I am currently working on the development of the jaeger program…

There’s a response waiting for him the next morning. It’s as enthusiastic as it is brief. Dr. Gottlieb- That’s so awesome!! Believe it or not I’ve been following your work too. I have a million questions for you about the jaegers. If it’s classified info I promise I won’t tell. -Newt

It makes Hermann smile like nothing ever has before.

Hermann’s correspondence with Dr. Geiszler does not transgress beyond the professional until the following January. By that time, Hermann and his father have successfully completed the coding for their first jaeger prototype, and Hermann has been offered his fair share of tenured university positions to pick from as he likes. He finds himself oddly disappointed that none of them are in America with Dr. Geiezler. This, which leads to the realization that he’s grown rather fond of Dr. Geiszler, is perhaps what drives Hermann to uncharacteristic sentimental extremes on January 19th: he orders Dr. Geiszler a birthday present. The first email Dr. Geiszler sends him after that addresses him as Hermann. The first email Hermann sends Dr. Geiszler after that addresses him as Newton. Things move rapidly after that.

“Are you still writing to that young biologist?” Hermann’s father asks him in March. Hermann has spent the last two months devouring every bit of information Newton has seen fit to divulge about his personal life: his dexterity with no less than three different instruments, his favorite loud monster movies, how he’d love to get a kaiju tattooed on him one day. Hermann suspects he might be falling in love with Newton. In hardly five months! These are war times, Hermann supposes, so it would make sense. People are meant to do such extreme things.

“I am,” Hermann says.

“I’ve asked around about him,” Hermann’s father says. His expression is stern—unimpressed. “About his character. I’m not sure it’s wise to continue your correspondence.”

The reasons are this. Dr. Geiszler’s methods are unorthodox. Dr. Geiszler is loud and uncouth, and has little respect for his intellectual superiors. Dr. Geiszler was thrown out of a convention once for storming up on stage and stealing a microphone from an engineer to shout about the destruction coral reefs. Dr. Geiszler was in a distasteful band for several years. Dr. Geiszler was once arrested for egging a politician’s house. Dr. Geiszler has gone on record as describing the kaiju as “kinda cool”. Almost none of this is news to Hermann; in fact, that which is only causes Hermann’s affection for Newton to grow. “I will consider your advice,” Hermann says, knowing he won’t. Besides, it's not as if his father really has Hermann's interests at heart—Hermann knows he merely wishes to preempt any scandal Newton Geiszler could possibly bring upon the Gottlieb name.

In April Newton goes on television and declares that he’s sure the kaiju are extraterrestrial in origin, on account of their great size and his brief examination of a sample from the second kaiju to make landfall. He’s laughed off by his older peers before he can get another word out. The email he writes to Hermann afterwards is furious, capslock-heavy, and expresses that Hermann is the only one who takes him seriously in the whole world. It leaves Hermann certain that he is in love with Newton.

“Dr. Geiszler was interviewed on some American television program,” Hermann’s father says a few days later.

“I know,” Hermann says, proudly. Newton was on television. “I watched it.”

“He made some extraordinary claims,” Hermann’s father says.

But Hermann is thinking only of the outfit Newton wore (skinny jeans and an oversized leather jacket, so out of place compared to the suited other scientists sitting around him), the shade of his eyes (hazel), his short stature (hardly taller than Hermann), and the cadence of his voice (high, but not unappealing). He’d been so confident, and carried himself with a self-assurance that was foreign to Hermann. It was marvelously attractive. “I’m sure they're correct,” Hermann says. "Every single one. Newton is a terribly brilliant scientist." All bold claims are met with derision at first, are they not?

Newton’s theory is proven correct after the next kaiju attack, when experts other than him get their hands on kaiju samples and validate his claims. The general consensus after that is that the kaiju are not of this world. And Newton was the first to propose the theory! Hermann sends Newton an email full of congratulations, and Newton responds with a heart emoticon in his sign-off. Newton isn't just a brilliant scientist. “Newton is a genius,” Hermann tells his father, dreamily.

The binder reappears on Hermann’s work desk a few months later, Newton’s page torn conspicuously from it. Hermann tips the whole thing straight into his trash can. He has more important things to worry about—arranging a meeting with Newton, perhaps. Hermann ought to have him over for dinner.

[queenxxxsupreme]

I was wondering if you could write something with a plus sized reader? It can be any of the witchers and/or Jaskier (although I think esk, lam, & jask would work best). Can be more focused on them finding the reader attractive/hot? I see lots of fics and headcannons abt plus size readers that are all about insecurities and finding the reader beautiful and aethestically pleasing. I'm plus size and I think I am beautiful, just not... attractive. looking hot and looking pretty/beautiful are different. idk if that makes sense I just want someone to think I'm hot. It can be NSFW or funny and fluffy. if you aren't comfortable writing this that's cool too. I just really like your writing. You have created a really welcoming community/page and I felt comfortable enough asking. I appreciate it so much. Thank you. 💜

A/N: I love this ask!!! Though I’m not sure I followed the prompt properly…. :( I wanted to do Lambert very badly which is part of the reason why it took so long to do but I couldn’t make it work with the prompt so I ended up doing Jaskier. I hope you liked it babe!

Warnings: no smut but Jaskier is a cheeky bastard and suggests NSFW 18+ things so if you aren’t into that please don’t read! also mentions of poor self image but Jaskier makes it better

***

You watched the tailor and seamstress murmur to each other in a language you didn’t understand. The seamstress said something, gesturing to the skirt you wore. Then she looked back at the tailor who shook his head disapprovingly. 

Their eyes seemed to drill holes into you. You suddenly felt so stupid for letting Jaskier talk you into coming to this expensive shop to be professionally fitted for a dress to match his outfit for the gala in two nights. 

But he was just so excited about the gala. It was the first time you’d be meeting the famed Geralt of Rivia as well as a few of Jaskier’s other friends he had met on his journeys with the witcher. 

You felt saddened that he was so eager to take you to the gala. Surely you'd only make him look like a fool in front of his friends and comrades. 

“Dear? Are you listening?” Jaskier placed his hand on the back of your calf as he moved around the stool you were balanced upon. 

You brought your eyes down to him. 

“Hm? Oh, erm, yes. Of course, I-I was.” 

He frowned. 

“No, you’ve got something else on your mind. What is it?”

You shook your head, smoothing out the material to your dress. 

“Nothing, Jask. It’s fine.”

“Tell me, please.” He reached up to take your hand in his, brushing his thumb along your knuckles. 

You kept your eyes on him for a few moments before looking in the direction of the seamstress and tailor. They no longer looked at you but they were still gesturing in your direction. 

“It’s just silly, Jaskier.” You shook your head. 

“You look upset, darling. It’s not silly if it’s upsetting you. Step down for a second, my sweet.” Jaskier held your hand as you stepped down from the stool. He tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear, looking at you with furrowed brows. “Please tell me. Did something happen?”

You shook your head, chewing on the inside of your cheek. 

“Can you understand what they’re saying?”

“Of course.” Jaskier nodded. “They’re talking about putting ruffles in your skirt. Alma thinks a few would be a good idea to add some at the bottom but Derion is completely against the very thought of ruffles.”

You could practically feel the weight lift off of your shoulders. You almost laughed. 

“Really?”

“I know. I don’t think ruffles are a good idea, but Alma is an incredibly talented seamstress. She has an eye for creating beauties. But sadly ruffles will not be happening today.” Jaskier waved the two over. “With all do respect to you, darling Alma, I think we should pass on the ruffles this time.”

“Bastard.” Alma swatted her hand in his direction. 

“Let’s move on from the skirt.” Derion waved his hand dismissively. “For the bust. It’s the most important part. It will take Alma hours to bead together intricate detailing to match your doublet, Master Julian. She needs to know how you’d like it done in order to begin working.” 

“Right.” Jaskier placed his hand on the small of your back. “I’m thinking a rather cheeky neckline. Perhaps an off the shoulder neckline that goes a little deeper than what’s traditionally seen.”

“Jaskier!” Your cheeks flushed as you looked at him. 

“Darling, it will be absolutely fantastic! Show a bit of your chest off! Show everyone how sexy you are.”

“Jaskier.”

“It appears as though you have yet to come to an agreement on a top.” Derion spoke, looking between you two. “When my lady decides on what style of top she’d like, please do let us know. Until then, Alma, let’s continue with the skirt while they chat.” 

You watched the two move towards the desk off to the side of the room. 

“Jaskier–,”

“Just picture this, my love.” Jaskier cut you off, his hand leaving your back as he moved to stand in front of you. “The corset is supporting your bust, holding the girls up and putting them on display–,”

“For the entire gala to see?” You widened your eyes. “What are you trying to do? Make your friends think I’m some strumpet?”

“No! No! Of course not! I think you’d look sexy like that.” Jaskier put his hand on your hip. “And the corset will accentuate your figure–,”

“The figure I don’t have.” You turned away from him, making your way towards the chairs that sat near the windows. You were thankful the curtains were drawn. This gave you some privacy from the outside world. 

“What? That’s ridiculous. You have a figure. A marvelous one at that.” Jaskier followed behind you. 

“I have the same figure as an apple, Jaskier. Or a pumkin. Round and-and large and just.... There’s nothing you should be so eager to show off at the gala.” You sat down in one of the seats, your voice quivering as you fought to keep your emotions at bay. 

Jaskier knelt down in front of you, his hands taking yours in his own. His touch, calloused from years of playing instruments, was warm as he gave you a squeeze. 

He didn’t know what to say at first. He was upset with himself for having not noticed that you were uncomfortable earlier. He was upset with himself for making you uncomfortable.

“Love-,”

“And don’t- Jaskier, please don’t try to tell me I’m not.” You whispered, unable to meet his gaze as tears blurred your vision. “I know I am. If you deny it, it’ll be like denying that the sky is blue or that-that grass is green.”

Jaskier nodded softly, understanding your words. He let the silence sit between you for a few more moments. He reached up to wipe your cheeks. Then he moved to sit in the seat next to you, keeping your hands in his.

“You know, my favorite shade of blue is just after the sun sets.” He murmured. “It’s dark and it’s ominous, but it’s stunning to see planets begin to show even though the sun hasn’t set yet. It’s like they’re beginning to come out of hiding. And my favorite shade of green is much more specific than that. Do you remember that time we laid in the lupin field just outside of Cintra all day?”

“Of course I remember that.” You sniffled, a little smile coming to your lips. “You read and sang to me all day. It was a beautiful day.”

“That day is my favorite shade of green.” Jaskier rubbed the back of your hand. He leaned in to kiss the corner of your eye. “And that night…. That night was when I realized my favorite shade of blue, you know?”

Your heart began to race a little quicker. That evening in the lupine field had been rather romantic and intimate. It was one of your favorite memories with the bard. 

Jaskier took a deep breath, looking across the room to the seamstress and tailor for a moment to make sure they were occupied with something else. 

“Dear heart, you know I would make sure the dress they create makes you look nothing short of the goddess you are.”

“I-I don’t…. I don’t have that same faith, Jaskier.” You shook your head, looking away from him to one of the paintings on the wall. It was of a beautiful woman in a stunning violet dress. She was thinner than you and the dress she wore made sure to show what curves she had off.

“You don’t have faith in me?” He asked softly.

“I don’t have faith in myself. You keep saying I’m going to look sexy and that you want to put me on display-,”

“Y/N, I was only joking. I’m so sorry if it made you uncomfortable. I meant absolutely no harm by it.” Jaskier put his hand on your knee. “I just- My gods, Y/N. The very idea of you in the dress I envision. Everyone is going to be fucking staring. On second thought, perhaps it wouldn’t be a good idea to put you in a dress similar to that. In the off chance that I’d be able to take my eyes off of you, I’d have to fight anyone who dared to look at you.”

He wore the biggest grin on his lips and you knew he meant well by it. He really did. But your stomach churned at the thought.

“They’ll be staring because I’ll look absolutely ridiculous.” You turned your head away from him. “Ladies like me weren’t made for galas and ballgowns.”

“I happen to think you are perfect for a ballgown, my dear.” He leaned over to kiss your ear. “I know you don’t see it, but you are absolutely sexy. Hell, if I had a say in it, you wouldn’t even be wearing a gown. But there are going to be other people there and I can’t have anyone else seeing your gorgeous body.” 

Your cheeks flushed.

“Can I offer you a little deal? A peace treaty?” Jaskier suggested. You looked at him, meeting his blue gaze. “They have a dress cut similar to the one I’d like to be made for you. Can you try it on for me before we make any decisions today?”

You nodded your head, letting out a little breath. You would at least try it on and let him see how ridiculous you’d look. If you proved him wrong now, maybe he’d listen to you in the future. 

“Will it fit me?”

“They can make it work for you so you can at least get an idea of the style.”

“Okay.”

“Excellent.” He gave you a kiss on the temple before going across the room to Alma and Derion. He spoke to them in the language you didn’t know. It was a beautiful language. As he said the words he had the ability to make it sound otherworldly. How could one man, a human no less, make words sound angelic? 

Derion and Alma left the room together. Jaskier clasped his hands behind his back, leaned forward to watch where they had disappeared. Alma returned moments later alone. In her hands she held a dress. 

The dress was dark green but that was all you could tell.

“I’ll give you a moment to get dressed. Take good care of her, Alma.”

“I will. You worry about yourself, Master Julian.” Alma waved him away. 

You wanted to object, to say that you could get dressed by yourself, but you knew very well you wouldn’t be able to. You didn’t want to rip the dress. The material was probably more expensive than you could afford. 

“Take off your dress, darling.” Alma placed the dress over a nearby chair. “I’ll grab pins so that we can pin the dress in place.”

“Pin?” You repeated. “In place?”

“Yes, darling. It wasn’t made for your body. We need to make the dress work for your figure so we do that by manipulating the fabric with pins. Don’t worry, you won’t feel a thing.”

***

Alma called for Jaskier after the dress was situated properly on you. 

You nervously moved back and forth as you shifted your weight from one foot to the other to get a better look in the mirror. 

The dress fit you decently. It was loose fitting in the chest but Alma fixed that with pins. She pinned a few other spots too but they were in the back so you couldn’t see all that well. 

The material was a beautiful emerald green silk with darker green embroidery around the bust. The off the shoulder neckline wasn’t terribly low in the middle where it dipped down, but it was lower cut than what you would usually wear. 

“Now remember, darling. The corset will be tighter on you and be providing support.” Alma spoke as she moved around the stool you were resting on. 

“My gods, Y/N! I love it!” Jaskier clapped his hands together. “Just wait until we get it in the blue to match my doublet!”

“Alma!” Derion called for Alma. 

Alma excused herself, leaving you alone with Jaskier. 

He moved around the stool, admiring the dress on you. 

“Before I lose myself in my own thoughts, love, what do you think?” Jasier clasped his hands together and held them near his mouth. 

You looked back to the mirror, shifting a little. 

“I don’t…. hate it as much as I thought I would.” You admitted. 

“But do you like it? Are you comfortable with the style? Be completely honest with my, darling. If you aren’t, there is no worry at all! I’ll have them make a style you are comfortable in. I want you to be comfortable first. No matter what you wear you will be absolutely gorgeous and breathtaking and I will be ripping the dress off of you come the end of the night.”

“Jaskier.” You scolded. He gave you a cheeky smile. “I do like the cut and I like the off the shoulder part, but perhaps if we could add sleeves to it?”

“Of course! Oh that would be stunning! I’ll let Alma and Derion know. Anything else you want to add or take away?”

“I don’t think so.” You looked back to the mirror. “I think I’ll like it more once it’s in the blue. I do like the green, but the blue will match your doublet for the gala. And the green makes me sort of feel like a melon.”

Jaskier frowned.

“I wish you’d stop comparing yourself to fruits.” 

“Would you rather a toad? ‘Cause I look like one of those in this dark green too. A rather large toad.”

“If you are a toad, then what would that make me?” He held his hand out for you so he could assist you in stepping down from the stool.

“My pretty princess.” You giggled. 

“Hmm. Well you are the sexiest toad I have ever seen.” He pulled you into his arms. “But I rather like calling you a fruit. You taste just like one-,”

“Jaskier!”

Taglist: @pressedinthepages @mishafaye @whitewolfandthefox @wolfyland07 @belalugosisdead @persephonehemingway @keira-hulmaster @dinonuggs69 @greatestauthorofmygeneration @shadow-hunters-lover @dancingwith-thesunflowers @tedi-fach-las @thecomfortofoldstorries @natkowaa @disasteren @weathervanes-my-oneandlonely @onlyhenrys @wackylurker @criminaly-supernatural @magpie343 @permanently-exhausted-witcher @genderfluid-ho @the-space-between-heartbeats @havenoffandoms @carriebee1 @ger-bearofrivia @naominami @writingawaymylife @reaganjenelle @theawkwardpedestrian @scarlettwitcher @badassspaceprincess @just-a-sad-donut @summersong69 @an--actual--human--disaster @rubyqueen819 @omgkatinka @c-a-v-a-l-r-y @vonxcon @mazakeen @bravelittlesunflower @thereagles @awkward-turtles-world @menalliha @cotton_mo @maan24 @thefirelordm @monkeymo @krenee1drful @nympha-door-a @unadulteratedtreecrusade @Aquarius-pisces-rose @mentallyscreamingsincebirth @fl0ating @sometimesiwrite @you-fxcking-wish-bish @thanks-bruh-for-nothing @maan2442 @thegaydeath @creatingstuffinpeace @wellthisstinks @andyrazzledazzle @ameliasmistake @winterwolf @caraqas @bluscryn @thefirelordm @y-napotat @henrycavillbesty @ta-ka-shi-ma @sulkyshengshou @spaced-out-state @thecollection @mayday1284 @babietrain @wandering-poetess @redneckstrash

If your name is in italics, it wouldn’t let me tag you :(

[lovelyirony]

fic title: I’m falling and the sun is blinding me to your faults

i wanted to do an au of this one, so presenting: tony and rhodey, but make it villainous. i think it’d be fun! 

James Rhodes is two things, first and foremost being that he is a businessman. 

People call him a villain. He doesn’t really think he’s that villainous. 

After all, he only took over New York. He left all the other states alone, so that has to mean something. He was gracious! 

He also wouldn’t consider himself a villain because everyone who works under him gets health insurance. They don’t complain that much, although he’s gotten some about the quality of the buffet on Fridays. 

Catering companies. Hit-or-miss, you know? 

There have been a couple of companies who try to stop him. Rivals that hate that his products are better and employees are happier, for one. Those are easy to dismiss. 

SHIELD is one company who tries, and fails. Repeatedly. It would be embarrassing, but Rhodes has respect for Agents Romanov and Hill, who have been the closest to breaking into his personal office. 

- 

The player that isn’t registering on the field is Tony Stark. Perhaps because he isn’t so much of a player on the field as an existing person who just happens to be on a field. Or a building. However you would like to imagine it. 

In other universes, he walks like he owns the world because he could buy up everything and still have money left over to get ice cream at the end of the day. 

In this universe, his father kicked him out of his house for various things, the most prominent being that Tony is rather partial to kissing guys and ladies, and that just simply won’t do. 

(Tony also stole enough money out of his bank account to buy a house and also start his own business without his knowledge, but in the grand scheme of things, that’s just a small drop in the ocean.) 

Tony made his own tech start-up business. He’s invented a few new things that hit the market discreetly, and he’s building up more and more clientele. He’s about to open another shop, and in all honesty he’s not worried about getting noticed. 

This is until Rhodes comes across an employee bragging about a new repair guy who makes computers run twice as fast, charges less than most repair shops, and looks mighty fine in a tank top.

The last reason is reason enough to visit. 

But also, to see who’s been fixing up Rhodes tech and can make it faster. He doesn’t know why he wouldn’t have just applied for a job. 

Tony is not expecting Rhodes to enter into his building. He has people who are walk-ins, but usually you would expect a villain to make an appointment. Or not, they are villains. 

“I heard that you’ve been improving my phones,” James says. He leans into Tony’s space. He smells quite nice, has a well-tailored suit, and Tony is trying very hard not to find him attractive. That’s not the sort of thing you could be focusing on. 

“You gonna sue me or something?” 

“No, I want to hire you.” 

Tony blinks. 

“Oh. No thank you.” 

Rhodes pulls back. 

“Why ‘no’?” 

“I like my shop just fine. And you have things well-handled.” 

“Could I consult you?” 

“You can’t afford me.” 

Rhodes grins. 

“Are you sure about that?” 

“Of course I am. Can I get anything for you today, or did you just want to beg me to come work for you?” 

“Most people would never be this bold.” 

"What would they be? Terrified in your presence?” 

“More or less, yes. It’s what I prefer.” 

"I don’t cater to people’s preferences, it’s a character flaw and strength,” Tony quips. 

Rhodes smiles. 

It’s terrifyingly beautiful, really. Tony is at a loss for words. 

“I think I’m liking you, Stark.” 

“Tony. You don’t call me Stark. I don’t do the last name dynamic.” 

“Sweetheart, then. Not your last name.” 

“Pet names, seriously?” 

“Oh you got it, honey.” 

“Then go on, platypus,” Tony throws back. 

“Platypus? Really?” 

"Pet names are on the menu, honey bunch. Just try me.” 

Rhodes smiles, turning to exit. 

“I’ll be in touch, darling.” 

Tony leans against his desk, legs shaking underneath. 

There are two problems that he’s not sure how to solve. Here they are: 

1.) Rhodes now has Tony on his radar, which is probably bad because Tony will absolutely be used for world domination or whatever. 

2.) Tony doesn’t really mind as long as he gets to see Rhodes because goddamn. That man could get so many things, and he probably has. And Tony wouldn’t mind being one of those things if he played his cards right. 

But for now, Tony just wants to fix computers and maybe just buy a new brand of tea, but he’s honestly not sure. 

- 

Rhodes makes an appointment to meet. 

Of Fucking Course. 

Tony is not impressed, and is also not impressed that he comes in with a very expensive custom-made designer suit, whereas Tony is not sure the last time his pair of jeans got washed, and an old t-shirt that’s advertising an ice cream shop that is closed now. 

“You love to make an entrance all the time?” Tony asks. “What can I legally do for you?” 

“You’re assuming I’m making you do illegal things, babe?” 

“Yes, Rhodey.” 

“It’s Rhodes.” 

“Hm, maybe. But not to me. Rhodey. I wanna ruin your business impression.” 

Pepper snorts besides Rhodes, who is suitably impressed that Tony doesn’t give one flying fuck about the fact that he could destroy him at any point. 

“I’m ordering that on your next business card deal.” 

“I’ll fire you.” 

“You can’t find someone as competent as me, don’t even joke.” 

“I came here for an opportunity for you. You’ve managed to get some people’s computers to speed up so much. And I want you to do it with all of my employee’s computers.” 

“What, you couldn’t reverse-engineer it? See what I did for yourself?” 

Rhodey grins. 

“I never question a handsome man’s work, darling.” 

Tony turns red. 

“You’re really bad with professionalism, honeysop.” 

“What the hell is that?” 

“What, never heard about romance in the fifteenth century? Boring.” 

“Will you do the job or not?” 

“What are the terms, the conditions, and how much are you paying?” 

Pepper steps forward, a sizable stack of paperwork in her hands. 

The work would pay off the building. It would pay off his mortgage on his house. Hell, it would help a lot. He’d have extra to mess around and maybe go on a vacation. 

The downside is that he’s helping a villain get faster speed and better battery life with laptops. This could also mean he’d die, but honestly he was kind of expecting an early death. 

Rhodey assures him that he won’t die. 

“If anyone touches you, then they feel my wrath,” he says. His teeth glint underneath the lights. “And honey, no one ever likes feeling that.” 

“What, it isn’t all feather-light tickles?” 

“Touches a bit more than that.” 

There’s an unspoken story there. Rhodey’s grin goes from tight and eyes empty to refocusing on Tony and turning soft, genuine. 

“We can discuss the official plans over dinner.” 

“Dinner won’t work for me, I got plans tonight.” 

“A hot date?” 

"A special movie screening,” Tony says. “Can’t miss it. Maybe next time, or the next three times.” 

Rhodey smiles. 

“Maybe sometime.” 

“Maybe.” 

- 

Holy fuck.

Rhodes International has a local coffee shop on the lobby. A barista is a cheerful girl who has neon yellow hair greets him and asks if he wants a complimentary drink. 

“You...know who I am?” 

“Not in the slightest!” she says cheerily. “I have a memory thing where I remember everyone I ever meet and who I don’t meet. What kind of coffee guy are you?” 

“Um...you guys have mint syrup?” 

“Yup!” 

“Then I guess a peppermint latte?” 

“Coming right up!” 

So here is this girl humming what sounds suspiciously like the Winnie the Pooh song as she makes a drink, and that drink is amazing. 

Also, people are wearing, it seems, whatever outfit they want. There are some people talking, and two look to be dressed in professional business clothing, but the third guy they’re talking to is wearing ripped jeans and a tank top has the phrase of “I’m Just Existing on a Manifestation of Reality” emblazoned. 

It’s odd. 

“So glad you could make it, Tones,” Rhodey says. 

“Tones?” 

“What, too much?” 

“Tones sounds like you know me.” 

“And I don’t?” 

“What’s my favorite jam?” 

“Why jam?” 

“If you know someone well, you know their favorite type of jam.” 

“Orange marmalade?” 

“What the fuck do I look like, Paddington?” 

“You’re right, Paddington’s not near as sexy.” 

“This counts as harassment, right? This counts as harassment.” 

“Don’t have him sue us already, he’ll win,” Pepper says, breezing to their sides. God, she’s gorgeous. Casually dressed in a pencil skirt and a blouse and acting like she doesn’t look like a goddess. Must be exhausting. “Tony, great to have you. Let me show you who you’re working with.” 

He has his own fancy office, a team that knows what they’re doing, and catered lunch. 

Catered lunch. It’s not even a Friday. 

“Friday’s are questionable,” Rhodey says. “Weird selection.” 

“You don’t wanna know,” says Intern Joe. 

That’s literally on his ID card. 

- 

Tony starts work. It’s not bad, not at all. He works in the mornings on the weekends and Mondays as well as Thursdays, and then sometimes does work from his own office. 

Rhodey is...nice. 

This is a bit unsettling, because Rhodey literally just threatened the president over an environmental bill not being accepted and currently all employees are only slightly scared. 

“This is just like three months ago,” says Janice The Badass. (Also on her ID card.) “Don’t worry, the government can’t do anything. They rely on us too heavily.” 

“For what?” 

“For safety.” 

“Not asking.” 

“Good, I’m not going to answer.” 

“Okay?” 

- 

It’s also weird that Rhodey checks in on him. He brings him coffee how he likes it, and he makes him sit down and try new foods with him. 

He’s not bad at conversational topics either. Tony’s used to talking, and he’s used to bad-talking on dates. This doesn’t come close. 

No, they talk about the differences of Star Trek and how much Tony hates specific brands of pens, and how Rhodey is a disaster when it comes to coordination of ties. 

“I don’t like ties,” he scowls. 

“Then why wear one?” 

“Pepper says they look nice.” 

“Why do you need to look nice?” 

“Most things are all about presentation.” 

“Ah, need to be taken seriously.” 

“Only at times when I’m facing government officials or weird corporate bosses.” 

“Aren’t you a corporate boss?” 

“I’m a corporate boss who is also an enemy of fellow corporate bosses. Weird thing.” 

“That’s...intriguing.” 

“How so?” 

“Well, how does that work?” Tony asks, popping a couple blueberries into his mouth. “How are you both the same and an enemy?” 

“Watch and learn, sugar. Watch and learn.” 

Tony is allowed on the next business meeting. Which, coincidentally, his old Uncle Obadiah is part of. 

This leads to rather undesired complications. 

-

“You’re working for a supervillain?” Obie practically yells. 

“Well, it’s a bit more complicated than that,” Tony says. “I just work with computers.” 

“Besides if he wanted to work for a real supervillain, wouldn’t he be working for you?” Rhodey asks. 

He’s sitting in one of those rolling-chairs, and despite that, he made it his throne. He’s relaxed in it, perfectly at peace with the situation. All eyes are on him. 

“I’m not the one that the government is after.” 

“And yet I’m the one who’s successfully paid taxes. Where have yours gone, hm? Strip club in Vegas? Weapon sales in Afghanistan?” 

Obie freezes. 

Tony knows that when you freeze, it is your worst tell. 

“Does dad know?” 

This time, Rhodey turns towards him. He’s surprised. 

“We’ll discuss that later. But does Howard know, Obadiah?” 

“Howard is none of your concern.” 

“Oh my god, he is,” Rhodey says grinning. “You haven’t told him about your little back-door escapades. I wonder what would happen if I told him.” 

“You don’t want me as an enemy,” Obadiah says, shaking. He looks at Tony. “And you, boy, you just earned yourself a death sentence.” 

“Funny, Howard said the same thing when he kicked me out of the house,” Tony says as he’s checking his nails. Rhodey thinks he is in love. 

“Go ahead and try to get me as an enemy, see how well it works for you,” Rhodey says, pearly whites on display. “I took over the entire state of New York, leaving everyone in power allied with me. Plus, Tony hasn’t pushed his legacy from what I’ve seen, but what would happen if I just...let him talk? At the next press conference, perhaps.” 

Tony grins, and it’s dangerous. 

“Yeah Obie, what if I talked? I’m sure Howard’s disastrous attempt at fatherhood would be a real uptick in stock points.” 

“You wouldn’t.” 

“Just watch. Just fucking watch,” Tony says. “I still know how to smile for the press, and I still remember all of my lessons for how to make sure anything is believable.” 

He shakes. 

Rhodey gets security. 

Tony visibly relaxes as Stane is led out of the building, and Rhodey smiles over at him. 

“What?” 

“You wanna grab dinner with me?” 

“Like as a casual dinner, or a date-dinner?” 

“How about both?” 

“Thank god, I can’t remember where my nice shoes are.” 

- 

Tony supposes it is odd to be out to dinner with one of the most-feared men in all of New York. 

But it was hard to fear him when he was currently trying to lick ice cream off the tip of his nose with no such luck. 

Or when Rhodey kisses him senseless on his doorstep and makes fun of the little gnome that he’s put outside, and Tony giggles and watches him leave in his fancy car, still leaning on his door. 

Oh, he’s got it bad. 

But he doesn’t mind. 

[runicmagitek]

For the ship meme, Quistis/Rinoa and/or Beatrix/Steiner, please?

But of course! Thanks for the ask 💕

Quistis/Rinoa:

Ship It

What made you ship it? Honestly? Just this year with the recent FF Kiss Battle requests lol I never thought of them together like that and yet... it works?? Bless the fanfic writers for coming up with this brilliance, because I hated their canon interactions, but wow yeah there could be something interesting with them for sure.

What are your favorite things about the ship? It’s two ladies I like and want the best for. Mash ‘em together and it’s all good 😎 but legit, I like their dynamic together, both with their contrasting personalities and also their similarities. Both Rinoa and Quistis are equally inexperienced in different areas and trying to make the most of life despite that. They’re both quite stubborn in their own ways, which is evident in fandom when they butt heads, and what a joy it would be to see them actually open up and learn to trust each other (and then oh no, they fall in love~).

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? Not 100% to do with the ship, but I absolutely do not like Quistis’ arc/character “development” in the game. She’s brought in so strong at the beginning of disc 1 and kind of crumpled up and tossed aside once disc 2 kicks off. Yeah, there’s the bit with her when they learn about the orphanage, but it just... always felt so out in left field. AND THEN THAT’S IT NO MORE FOR YOU OR ANY OTHER SECONDARY CHARACTER BECAUSE NOW IT’S ALL ABOUT SQUALL AND RINOA. Like I love this game, but the structural integrity of the narrative is made of freaking balsa wood. Anyway, because of that, it’s why I never thought of ships outside of Squall/Rinoa for so freaking long, because the focus in the game shifts so hard so fast that I forgot about everyone else. The ship itself is fantastic, but wow, they have so little to work with from canon. But also fuck canon and that’s why fics are amazing 💕

And now for Beatrix/Steiner:

Ship It

What made you ship it? Ok, first off, I have to scream into a pillow because I was overjoyed that you sent my IX OTP my way I just AHHHHHHHH. Ok, anyhow, I immediately shipped them after the whole love letter fiasco scene in IX. I already loved both of them so much (honestly, Steiner is just an eternal mood and I appreciate him more and more as I get older and REALLY HATE IT when people just reduce him to a joke character. The guy’s got integrity and heart. He deserves so much), so to have them be all doki-doki for each other is just.... yeah, I love it. I’m all for that royalty/loyal knight trope dynamics, but two loyal knights together????? Be still, my heart.

What are your favorite things about the ship? They’re both mature individuals who are devoted to their line of work and efficient at what they do. I love those rivalry vibes turned to admiration, like no matter how annoyed they were with each other hiccups over the years, they still respected one another. And the two of them being so proficient as military officers and fighters, yet are like OH NO PRETTY LADY/GUY, WHAT DO is an amazing level of awkwardness I’ll eat up. And you know they’d stay as professional as possible post-canon with sticking to their duties, but try to make their relationship work. I wrote a fic once with them trying to do just that, writing love letters to each other at night as a means of staying connected despite their busy days. They’re just... so sweet for each other. Like you KNOW they’d pour their hearts into each other, even if they are unable to act upon whatever desires they have.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? I feel like a lot of people reduce Steiner to this bumbling idiot and Beatrix to this ice-cold badass who is untouchable. I haven’t read much fic with them, but what I have come across is... really out of character imo. Steiner has just been used to the small bubble of his life in Alexandria and Beatrix most definitely has her doubts and vulnerable moments. The fact she can be open with Steiner about that and he convinces her to stay... yeah, there are a lot of layers that I think most people completely miss with them and it’s unfortunate.

[thatbanjobusiness]

I want to briefly talk bluegrass fashion.

I appreciate and enjoy bluegrass from its roots to its present. I think creative growth over the decades has allowed for incredible and diverse music. Whether it’s disco influenced jamming, rock-bluegrass fusions, or classical music inspiration, there’s cool stuff to be had anywhere in the timeline. That said, one thing I wish contemporary bluegrass bands did more of was take fashion tips from the first generation bands.

In the 1920s, barn dance type radio programs featuring hillbilly music and rural style entertainment became popular. Some of these radio shows like the WLS National Barn Dance and WSM Grand Ole Opry had stage shows where you could watch the program in person. Costuming and presentation of the performing cast tended to be rough rube depictions, even caricatures, of rural people. George D. Hay, who founded and hosted the Grand Ole Opry, himself named the bands things like “The Gully Jumpers” and “The Possum Hunters.”

But when Bill Monroe and his Blue Grass Boys auditioned and were made members of the Grand Ole Opry in October 1939, Monroe detested this rough presentation that could quickly engender degrading opinions of hillbilly stereotypes. He opted instead to dress in a more classy manner. His band came out in white shirts, ties, jodhpurs, and boots.

This is something Bill Monroe bragged about even as the decades went on. For Monroe, it was important to dress well and in dignity when you got onstage. You respect yourself and you respect audiences when you come out in your best.

By the mid-1940s Bill Monroe’s band had accumulated a number of musical features that today our ears would recognize as bluegrass. It’s interesting to notice that bandmembers who left Monroe and went on to do their own bluegrass music often... took with them some of Bill’s ideas about stage presentation. Flatt & Scruggs, when they left Monroe and started their own band, are sometimes seen in early images wearing jodhpurs.

Early bluegrass bands on occasion might have had an “exception” to the rule. At the very least, you see this in Flatt & Scruggs in the late 1940s and first half of the 1950s. But I believe what they were doing reflected a trend that existed in the broader hillbilly music industry. I’d like investigate that more later to understand better. Unlike today’s concerts that involve music and only music, in those times, comedy was a more expected part of a show. White banjo performers, prior to bluegrass, were essentially all comedians; and in ensembles, someone (as I’ve often seen, the bass player) might take a comedy role. So you could’ve gotten a well-dressed band... and then the bassist dressed in comic rube garb.

That said, each first generation bluegrass band ended up creating their own unique presentation. It’s variation around a theme: dress up nice to respect audiences and put your best foot forward. How you present yourself onstage has impact. Audiences aren’t coming out to see some tattered everyday person; they’re coming out here to listen to music stars.

And so you see bands and acts coordinating their outfits in classy ways like...

(The 1958 screencap above doesn’t 100% evoke this, but I’ve noticed Flatt & Scruggs in the mid-50s through mid-60s would often do a 2-2-2 coordination. Everyone would wear hats. The band leaders would wear matching jackets and string ties. Two band members would wear the same collared shirts and the same string ties as the leaders. The last two band members, who were a duet and comedy team, would wear vests or different hats or some other distinguishing marker. Everyone’s clothes would carry the same overall color theme. Very well-thought out wardrobe presentation.)

SEE? EVERYONE IS DRESSED UP AND LOOKS GOOD.

You can tell they’re an act. You can tell they’re professional. You can tell, the second they step up to perform, they mean business. It helps elevate them into STARS.

As new generations took up bluegrass, the social context of how to dress changed. The Folk Revival of the 1960s brought many Northerners, urban people, and hippies into the bluegrass world. I haven’t read up as much on this part of bluegrass history, but I believe it was starting here that new bluegrass ensembles quit thinking about dressing up to be onstage. I’ve certainly seen photos of the early bluegrass festivals of the late 60s and 70s, and some second generation bluegrass groups would wear extremely casual things onstage. Other groups would coordinate by wearing the same collared shirt, which meant they were matching, but also (to me) making less of a “statement.”

It makes sense. First generation bluegrass performers were seeking to dress to impress and get away from crappy hillbilly stereotypes. Later generations of bluegrass performers might not have been from the South or a country lifestyle at all, and would feel more inclined to try to evoke a “working class” vibe by wearing everyday or ragged clothing. Today, I feel many bands do this to evoke their own form of an authentic stage presentation.

This means that today, many groups wear rather casual clothing. I feel I see this especially in jamgrass. And for the record, these are all VERY talented, well-known ensembles; I’m not comparing pros to locals or something.

And they’re dressed better here than what I’ve seen for bands at concerts.

I think it’s ironic that Bill Monroe, the Father of Bluegrass, sought to escape tattered clothing that actual country people wouldn’t wear on the fields, let alone onstage... only to have bluegrass musicians half a century later revert to costuming concepts Monroe had rejected. Today’s clothes of course aren’t the torn-up straw hat and single-strapped overalls of the early Opry, but it’s the same idea: dress down to look “country.” I don’t think there’s any objective disrespect to bluegrass’s history to dress like that, but I do think there’s a point that everyday clothes don’t make as much of an impression for your band.

Now of course not all groups have gone this route. In any generation of bluegrass, you still see bands that dressed more “traditionally.” But it’s certainly been a trend—since at least the 70s—to see bluegrass groups, either at the local or professional level, wearing everyday clothes. Get jeans, maybe some flannel, and you’re good to go. I see it oh-so-often now.

It doesn’t resonate as much to me. I get the point of their presentation, trying to evoke a casual non-mainstream working class image, but I feel there’s other ways you can set a vibe for your ensemble that doesn’t come off as lazy, everyday, or unnoticeable.

I’d be much more interested seeing:

YEAH!!!!! YOU GO RHONDA VINCENT AND THE RAGE!

I think it’s interesting to see this mindset about proper bluegrass performance attire recur in interviews. I’ve watched a number of 2000s and 2010s interviews for first and early second generation bluegrass performers, and one common thing the old-timers complain about is how people don’t dress up anymore. They feel it doesn’t respect the audience or make a good impression for the ensemble. How you present yourself onstage is half of the performance; it can be an effective means of enhancing a show when you do it well.

And I’ve seen it in conversations with people like Steve Martin, showing how in the 2010s, there’s still negative “hillbilly” images to butt against:

INTERVIEWER: Does it bother you that quite possibly the most famous banjo song in pop culture is "Dueling Banjos" from "Deliverance"?

MARTIN: It doesn't bother me at all. Actually I might argue with that because another most famous song would be the theme from "The Beverly Hillbillies" or "Foggy Mountain Breakdown," the song from "Bonnie and Clyde." So there are a couple of 'most famous' banjo songs.

INTERVIEWER: But still… the theme song from "The Beverly Hillbillies"?

MARTIN: It's just something we have to face. And everything changes. That's why I always wear a suit and tie when I play bluegrass.

INTERVIEWER: Do you feel like you're helping changing the face of bluegrass?

MARTIN: I don't know. That's what I do when I go on stage. I don't make hillbilly jokes or things like that. I'm just playing it as the person I am, not pretending to be anything else. The band I play with, we all dress in suits and ties.

One of my favorite contemporary bands also has one of my favorite wardrobes. What they choose to wear is a huge element of their stage presentation, amplifies their show powerfully, and contributes to the entire vibe of their music product. Good costuming can be part of marketing, and they market themselves spectacularly.

The Dead South almost marries the best of both worlds between “dress up” and “dress as the everyday man.” Their clothes aren’t “formal” in the sense of suits and ties. There’s more casualness to it. At the same time, what they wear—blatantly Southern and Western gear that matches with variation across the band—isn’t something everyday Joe or Janet would put on to go to Walmart. It’s got a little more of a “period” feel to it while also being modern enough to feel authentic. Altogether, it makes them classy without being formally classy.

It’s perfect for them. This is a “controversially” bluegrass band who knows that, while they play string band music, its creative reach extends beyond what you’d expect of something labeled “bluegrass.” They have called themselves “a rock band without a drummer, a bluegrass band without a fiddler.” Elsewhere, they’ve marketed themselves as “a gold rush vibing four-piece acoustic set from Saskatchewan [that] infuse[s] the genre's traditional trappings with an air of frontier recklessness, whiskey breakfasts and grizzled tin-pan showmanship.” This is a band I’ve always said plays to a “degenerate” image, songs filled with cowboy shootouts, barfights, gun-wielding robberies, alcoholic nights, and more.

And doesn’t their wardrobe evoke that spotlessly? There is CLASS and INTENTION with how they present themselves, to the point the band almost always stands in that order left-to-right, and has used their unique wardrobe choices for album covers and stage design.

Check out how the stage’s stained glass window lights behind them evoke both images from their songs, and have the tie, beard, skull, string tie theme on them. Every band member stands in front of his respective window.

That is *WAY* cooler, more effective, more impacting, more resonating, more memorable, more vibing, than simply tossing on my latest t-shirt. 

(And yes, the last photos are from when I went to their concert last year. One of the best concerts I’ve EVER been to, and it’s because they knew how to put on a SHOW.)

Performance entails everything from the sounds you make to the personality you evoke to the clothes you wear. It’s why I prefer the first generation bluegrass bands’ approach to “dress well” over some modern string band trends. And again, bands like The Dead South show alternate ways you can dress up and rock out.

[cypher-of-the-night]

Biography: Yuuichi Kuroi

“Between going to hell for killing leeches, or to heaven at the cost of innocent lives... I’d rather stay a sinful man for the rest of my life.”

~

Full name: Kuroi, Yuuichi

Kanji: 黒佑一

Age: 19

Meaning:  Yuuichi - To help one; Kuroi - Black, Dark

Nickname(s):

Sensei (by Yui),

Yuuichi Jiang (Alias)

Yòu-Yī  Jiang (Chinese Name)

Age: 19 (Looks around early 20′s)

Birthday: April 1st

Zodiac Sign: Aries

Ethnicity: Chinese/Japanese

Nationality: Japanese

Hobbies: Hunting, Practicing Martial Arts

Favorite Food: Cream Stew

Dislikes: Days-Off, Vampires, and Ignorance

Race: Vampire, Human (Formerly)

Gender: Male

Height: 178 cm (5’10")

Weight: 67 kg (147 lbs)

Hair color: Black

Eye color: Blue

Blood Type: O

Occupation: High School Teacher-in-Training, Vampire Hunter

Relatives:

Ying-Yue Jiang (ancestral foremother)

Naoki Enjo (Distant Relative)

Hisoka Kuroi (First-Cousin, Arranged fiancée)

Tsurara Kuroi (Parental Grandmother)

Favorite Food: Cream Stew

Hobbies: Hunting, Practicing Martial Arts

Seiyuu: Satoshi Hino (Ao from Hakkenden (Talking /Singing)

English Voice: Greg Cote (Eita Izumi from Just Because) (Talking)

~

Personality:

To the public eye, Yuuichi is a cool, collected young genius. At the age of 13, He graduates from college and is mentioned to be friendless, as he distances himself from others ever since childhood; Only having his cousin as his only other companion growing up. As he was always quiet, people found Yuuichi intimidating as he would be the only one brave enough to stare down and talk back at the Sakamaki’s, the Mukami’s, and even the Tsukinami’s; Something not even the Principal could do. Yuuichi is also observant and strict, even catching Ayato cheating but never calls him out on it; This leads to him and Ayato having a rather antagonistic relationship.

However, Yuuichi’s cool front is actually a mask, revealing himself to be passionate, but broken young man, desperately looking for love, affection, acceptance, and acknowledgment. Having grown up in a family of Vampire Hunters, Yuuichi has learned to kill vampires since he was young; While he was exceptional in this field, Yuuichi always had to live up to high expectations and was forced to distance himself from others to protect them from getting involved with his life as a Vampire hunter. He cares dearly about innocent people, but felt he must put them at a distance to keep them safe from harm. Always feeling that he must carry the burden on his own, Yuuichi bottles up his emotions in order to continue his role as a protector to innocent humans. He also has a soft spot for children, especially orphans, as he himself is an orphan.

While it was never reciprocated, Yuuichi did hold romantic feelings for his cousin, Hisoka, ever since they were children; Even before their arranged engagement. However, while he has tried to win her heart, it was apparent that She never loved him anymore than a brother. This is due to growing up believing he was a mistake by their grandmother, as he was born as an illegitimate child to the Kuroi family, and that Hisoka was the first person that has treated him as if his existence wasn’t a mistake and that he felt validated by her. This is also why he was not the family heir, despite being the oldest. He also developed a self-hatred and a case of PTSD from having to undergo harsh training as a Vampire hunter, losing his family members, to the abusive treatment from his grandmother.

Due to the way he grew up in the organization and his own hatred towards vampires, Yuuichi feels no remorse in killing the blood-sucking creatures and strongly believes that they are beasts in human form that deserve nothing more than to be extinct. While he genuinely feels that way, it only adds in his self-hatred and disgust for allowing himself become a vampire just to survive when he would rather die. As a vampire hunter, he also knows tactics to torture someone and do what ever means necessary to get the job done; Even it meant resorting to manipulation.

While appearing rational, Yuuichi also holds a sadistic side from the influence of being a vampire and would have the tendencies to succumb to vamperic urges along with his own desires; Depending on which route he’s in, He can either succumb to insanity, forcibly take what he wants as a desperate attempt to find his own happiness, and die as a tragic man, or He can be taught that he can love and be loved healthily, that he must pick up the broken pieces in order to find happiness, and to live as the avenging survivor.

~

Strengths:

Highly intelligent, respectful to elders, goal-oriented, protective, observant, a realist, serious, mysterious, cool, calm, fast-learner, outspoken when needed to, Caring to children, does show gratitude, strong-willed, kind, athletic, knowledgeable, passionate, experienced, and faithful.

Flaws: Secretly sadistic (from Vampiric urges), cold, stoic, vengeful, stubborn, persistent, easily lonely, hot-tempered, hostile, emotionally scarred, secretive, mentally scarred, self-hatred, has a hard time trusting people, hard, mentally unstable, anxious, paranoid, can’t cook, fearful of losing loved ones, socially awkward, shy, secretly masochistic (heavily embarrassed of this fact about himself) and secretly soft-hearted (can’t show it due to his upbringing as a hunter).

Skills: Shooting with guns (specifically pistols), Fluent in different languages (Chinese, Japanese, English), her intelligence (has even gotten a higher score than Reiji on tests), has high patience, high stamina, a fast runner, enhanced sense of smell, slightly stronger than normal humans, good listening skills, reading people and their emotions, skilled at playing on the flute, singing, has good flexibility, is Ambidextrous (both left-handed and right-handed), charisma, negotiation and interrogation skills, pain endurance, has slow but steady healing, a quick thinker, surprisingly observant, excellent swordsmanship, and an expert martial artist.

~

History:

Born as an illegitimate child to the Kuroi family, Yuuichi has always been deemed as a “mistake” all of his life by his own grandmother, Tsurara Kuroi. At a young age, His father was disappeared after being reported as MIA during a mission while his mother was kidnapped by a vampire. He was placed under the care of his aunt and uncle for a short time, meeting his first-cousin, Hisoka Kuroi; Falling in love with her and her innocence, Yuuichi swore to protect her and to work hard to become her husband when they are older. Such a thing even became the reason why he would eventually become a exceptional vampire hunter as he grew older.

When he was placed under Tsurara’s care, Yuuichi was immediately taken to start the harsh vampire-hunter training for Kuroi family members; The training sessions caused him to experience horrors and force him to kill in order to save himself, resulting nightmares and eventual numbness in order to get through every training session. Becoming a professional at the age of 8, Yuuichi’s first mission was to kill the same vampire that kidnapped his mother; But once he did and comes across his mother, who was imprisoned the entire time and showed signs of abuse and bite marks, She tearfully begs him to kill her so that she doesn’t turn into a vampire, fearing she would end up hurting others the way her captive has hurt her. Heartbroken that their reunion would end up as it did, Yuuichi complies before telling his mother he loved her, in which his mother replies that she (along with his father) will always love him. From having to kill his own mother as well, this lead to the start of his burning hatred for vampires, vowing to eradicate every single one of them so that humans won’t have to suffer the same way his mother did.

After hearing about the deaths of his aunt and uncle, the memories of his father’s disappearance, and the kidnapping and death of his mother comes back to haunt him and fuel the burning hatred of vampires more; Whether or not Hisoka herself survived or not, Yuuichi will still remain guilty for not being able to be there to protect her or her innocence as he swore to.

If Hisoka did survive, whichi is Hisoka’s Route: Due to the fear of almost losing her, Yuuichi becomes heavily emotionally invested in her to a point he gets jealous of anyone that Hisoka interacts with, especially Yui Komori, who he envied and hated for being the one that helped Hisoka open up when she needed someone the most. Yuuichi would do anything for Hisoka just to make her happy and to win her love, in a similar way Richter loves Cordelia; However, when a mission to rescue Yui was changed to killing her, Yuuichi was the first to take the task to do so. Due to Hisoka’s love and devotion to Ruki Mukami, Yuuichi’s mentality breaks, becoming insane and unpredictable, and resorts to making his happiness happen by force (the happiness being promised by Tsurara herself if Yuuichi kills Yui successfully). This ends up failing and leads to his death by Hisoka’s hands.

If Hisoka didn’t survive, which is Naoki’s Route, Yuuichi becomes the only Kuroi member left in the new generation, making him the only other candidate to become heir to the Kuroi family. But Tsurara does not allow it as she still labels him a ‘mistake’, despite his adroit skills as a hunter. From this, Yuuichi comes to the belief that Tsurara had something to do with the death of the rest of his family members, especially after learning about the wiping out of the clan from his mother’s side. As such, He has decided to investigate deeper into the mystery, which lead to taking on the task to assassinate Yui Komori, only to use her to figure out a lead to Tsurara’s crimes that ended up massacring the rest of his family.

Sometime in between the Haunted Dark Bridal Saga and the MORE BLOOD Saga, Yuuichi was almost near death from a mission he was sent to by Tsurara, only to be saved by and turned by Richter on a certain condition:

Hisoka Route: Richter agrees to make Yuuichi strong enough to kill the Mukami’s, especially Ruki Mukami, who was working with Karlheinz, the Vampire King, but in exchange, Yuuichi will help him dethrone Karlheinz and kill the Sakamaki’s. Due to Yuuichi’s mentality breaking from Hisoka loving Ruki, He agrees to help Richter overthrow Karlheinz and kill the vampires. This is also because they share a mutual understanding of loving a woman that loves someone else, and will do anything just to make them happy/their own, to a point not having them in their arms makes them lose their own sanity.

Naoki Route: Richter agrees to help provide Yuuichi the information he needs to prove Tsurara was guilty, if Yuuichi agrees to keep Yui safe from the Sakamaki’s and the Mukami’s. While Yuuichi didn’t understand why Richter would give him this opportunity, seeing that they both have a common enemy in Tsurara, Yuuichi accepts this despite his own hatred for vampires as long as it would be beneficial to what he is looking for in order to get evidence of Tsurara’s crimes. He eventually does kidnap Yui, using Naoki as a distraction, but while he had her in his custody, they do eventually fall in love and Yuuichi realizes his own inhumane actions and decides to learn to love himself, as well as to move forward with his life.

Eventually, He goes undercover in the guise of a Teacher-in-Training at Ryoutei Academy.

(SPOILERS)

In Naoki’s route, in the DARK FATE Saga, It is revealed that Yuuichi is also a bloodline member of the Chinese clan of human vampire hunters with the first-blood blood in their veins, due to their foremother ancestor, Ying-Yue Jiang; Ying-Yue was the original host of a first-blood’s heart (whom was also her lover in her former life as a human), and was a human before turning into a vampire after she gave birth to a human son that carried the blood of a First-blood, Asher. Due to herself staying hidden for many centuries to hide from Karlheinz under her first-blood lover’s instructions, Ying-Yue was given the nickname “Lilith”, who was known to be the first wife of Adam but leaves him after she refuses to become subservient to him (in a similar sense where Ying-Yue refuses to let herself become experimented as an Eve to Karlheinz’s plan); However, their secret was revealed when one of their clan’s members was kidnapped by a vampire who found out about the truth of their blood. That kidnapped member was Yuuichi’s mother herself. And after the Clan was targeted and massacred, Yuuichi became one of the two only clan members left alive; The other revealing to be Naoki Enjo, the current host of Asher’s heart. The one that plotted the massacre of the clan was Tsurara herself; However, due to Karlheinz’s decision to kill off the entire family of Hisoka, including Hisoka herself, to allow one member from the Jiang clan escape from the massacre, this lead to Tsurara to hold a grudge as she had plans to use Hisoka as her perfect successor as Head of the VH Organization.

It is also revealed that, the real reason Tsurara called Yuuichi a mistake, is because she became aware of the first-blood blood in his veins, and deemed him as one with filthy blood; This is the reason why she refused to make him heir to the family, as all of his abilities were only enhanced from the blood of a first-blood, and that she only sent him on the mission where he was almost killed is to ensure that he does get killed and never returns. In Hisoka’s Route in the DARK FATE saga, where Yuuichi has already been killed, Tsurara explains that she was responsible in organizing the massacre of the Jiang clan and that she did arrange killing of Yuuichi in order to give Hisoka the push she needed to attempt rising up against her, and turn her into the perfect successor after Hisoka herself realizes the truth of her existence and the reason for the death of her family was all because she existed.

Once everything comes to light, in Naoki’s Route in the DARK FATE saga, Asher reveals to Yuuichi that his father was the one informed the clan about the kidnapping as a warning and took Naoki to the orphanage, but as a result from receiving word he gave warning of the VH Organization hunters coming to massacre them, Tsurara had him, one of her own sons, executed for “betraying the organization”.

~

Trivia:

• Yuuichi is unable to cook; Legend tells he tried to cook something himself, but he ends up burning everything he cooks into flames. Even cereal. Even in

Hisoka’s Route

in the

MORE BLOOD

saga, It is mentioned that Yuuichi himself almost burned down the organization from trying to cook; The one of the very few things he can do is brew coffee.

• While only describes as his hobbies, Yuuichi actually hunts and practices Martial arts as said hobbies is mainly because it helps him keep his figure and to ensure he does not slack off from lack of training.

This is why He doesn’t like day off’s, as he feels uncomfortable doing nothing and that he would rather much do something than doing nothing.

• In his own Manservant ending in the MORE BLOOD saga with Yui, He ends up becoming just like Richter and becomes a submissive slave to Yui, who would end up inheriting dominant, sadistic traits from Cordelia; He even ends up killing Richter to ensure Yui remains his, in fear that Richter will take her away from him.

In the DARK FATE route of Naoki’s Route, Yuuichi confronts Richter as he tries to make a move on Yui in the delusion that she’s Cordelia and denies being like him; This is ironic, considering the fact that he is very much like him in Hisoka’s Route, as his own mentality breaks and would do whatever means necessary to keep Hisoka at his side, even if it meant killing those in his way.

•  He inherited his blue eyes from his father, while his mother holds the same pink eyes as Naoki; It is implied that the bloodline family members of the Jiang clan have the same colored eyes, but the reason why Yuuichi has blue eyes is because the Kuroi family genes has been known to be arguably stronger.

• Yuuichi was originally made to be a character for Hisoka Kuroi’s universe; However, regretting such great potential to go to waste, Yuki (The creator of this blog and @star-crossedfidelity​) brought him back for Naoki Enjo’s story in an alternative universe and gives him a happy ending where he is the love interest of Yui Komori.

• Yuuichi’s real name is Yòu-Yī Jiang (Jiang Yòu-Yī; 江佑一), which respectively mean “To protect all” and “River”.

• Upon his appearance in the MORE BLOOD Saga in Naoki’s route,  

• By the DARK FATE saga in Naoki’s Route, Yuuichi is revealed to be spiritually-Endowed Human-First Blood Hybrid; This is due to Ying-Yue Jiang, his foremother and Asher’s lover, became the first carrier of the first-blood’s heart before she had sexual intercourse with another human in an arranged marriage, which lead to conceiving a human child that would later start a family line of human with first-blood ancestry from Ying-Yue carrying Asher’s heart before the child was conceived; Thus, Yuuichi is a human with first-blood ancestry.

Asher reveals that because the child was born from two humans, despite his blood running through its veins, they can not possess magic, transform, or summon familiars like a first-blood; Instead, because of his blood, The child was stronger, quicker, and healed faster than an average human, along with inheriting the ability to sense vampires and invisible familiars. This is why the clan were phenomenal vampire hunters as, while they can’t see them, they can sense their presence, using those abilities to their advantages.

Asher also reveals that Yuuichi’s enhanced abilities were due to the blood that ran through the family bloodline for generations, and if Yuuichi was the host for his heart, Asher admits that Yuuichi would’ve unlock even more power due to his upbringing as a vampire hunter.

• Due to never having a normal childhood or having a chance to relax, Yuuichi has no knowledge or recollection on what’s it’s like to be a child; For example, He has never been to an amusement park, nor has he ever been to a festival before.

• While he is good with swordsmanship, He prefers to use guns instead; The reason for this is because, when he went on his first mission, He used a sword; Which meant he had to kill his own mother with the sword, and began to use guns after that. In Hisoka’s Route, It is confirmed that Yuuichi would only use swords if he is being sent on a more difficult mission.

• Yuuichi uses the alias “Yuuichi Jiang”, a mixture of his Japanese name and his mother’s maiden name; However, in Naoki’s Route in the MORE BLOOD saga, this is how Asher began to suspect Yuuichi as another living survivor of the massacre, due to his Chinese decent, his own enhanced abilities, and his familiar scent of those from the Jiang clan.

• In Hisoka’s Route, Yuuichi is in love with Hisoka, and not Yui, who he bitterly hated and envied; However, in Naoki’s Route, Yuuichi becomes Yui’s keeper by the MORE BLOOD Saga and they end up falling in love. ~

Credits: Character sheet image, art provided by @seven-re​.

[cutebutstillsingle]

Boof.  A hard one to admit for SO many people.  This was/is totally me.  This is likely so many people I know who remain single or divorced into their 30s and beyond. 

Even though you operate in an adult’s body, you can be hella old, and still operating with the heart of the childhood you or the heart of twenty- something you, who still was relationally immature. If you are watching your fertile window come and go while remaining single, ladies, you may be relationally immature.   If you’re still in your 30s, gents, and are not yet in that mainframe of desiring to settle down, you are probably relationally immature.  

If you are struggling to sustain romantic relationships, I would even go so far as to say that your perpetual singledom is like a firetruck siren of a signal from your heart that you have some therapeutic work that may need to do.

Relational immaturity specifically addresses the “relationships” slice of your overall maturity birthday cake. You might be doing just fine living in your own dwelling.  You might be killing’ it at your job.  You might know how to boil some water and do your taxes.  Maybe you have traveled the world.  But that doesn’t mean you have mastered relational maturity.  If there are other aspects of your life that you can reflect upon as “not yet in an ideal state”, those other incomplete areas of your life may be linked to your relational maturity.  

It is worth mentioning that relationships must be mature across multiple relationship arenas: with your own body, mind and heart.  With God if you are spiritual, with your family, with your friends, and with your professional colleagues at school or work.  These relationships all fall under “relational maturity”.  

 And then of course, your romantic relationships will be impacted by your relational maturity even more so, because these tend to be the most emotionally intimate and vulnerable.  Unlike your family or your job, your romantic interest or partner is under zero obligations and is not incentivized by any business perks to stay with you.  All of your relationships will be somewhat interconnected, believe it or not.  You can’t show up as an outstanding business partner at work if you are trashing yourself by not eating well, not sleeping enough, and if your brain is pumping with negative self-talk.  If you’re having drama with a friend you may not be as clearheaded at work or in your romantic partnership.   If you have struggles or drama in your family, you may not show up in your romantic relationship as your best self.  Etc.  So it’s all kind of comprehensive.  

For me (takes a deep breath because this is about to be very vulnerable), I noticed myself struggling in professional settings, essentially struggling over and over to get along peacefully with anyone who failed to meet my mind’s expectations of that role, and they disappointed me in any way.  Even if my expectations were 100% reasonable, because perhaps anyone hired in that role should probably be able to do X, Y, or Z in order to even be considered for hire, if that person disappointed me in any way and failed to do X, Y, or Z, it put us on the fast track to our relationship either dissolving or hitting a major bump in the road. 

I observed myself in over a five year long pattern of job hopping and struggles with professional relationships.  I would say yes to a job, then discover that certain key players at the job majorly sucked to work with, all my favorite colleagues would quit, or that some seriously shady secrets would come to light about how that company operated.  

Then I would begin the hunt for a new job for the following year in the same industry, hoping that maybe, somewhere out there, not all companies in this industry sucked.  Five plus years later, I think it’s safe to say that yes, maybe they all actually DO suck in that particular industry.  Because they were all shady after at least three tries to find a good job. Once, and it could be a one off.  Twice, and you start to wonder, and it may not be a coincidence.  Three times, and it is no longer a coincidence-- it is a pattern.  And yet,  I was the one failing to pivot and adjust my approach to finding job satisfaction.  

There are some definite parallels to romantic satisfaction here, so read on if you have time... 

I would wonder things like, “Why do I keep choosing these professional positions where the people constantly display shadiness or appalling levels of incompetence?  Why don’t any of the best professionals at the job stay hired, but all the crappier employees stay hired for like, decades?  Should I also keep it moving?  [the answer was “yes”!  But I was too naive to realize it].  

Why wasn’t I able to learn after the first, or maybe the first two disappointments, and adjust course out of this entire field if they all seem to display these relational patterns I don’t thrive under?”. There were some colleagues and bosses that I had amazing professional rapport with amidst all of this, but the (pardon my french) f*ckery of the people in key decision-making roles usually drove all the best employees out the door. 

I also wondered, “ Why were  certain people able to tolerate or even thrive in what I considered and knew in my heart to be toxic work cultures, while I was deeply troubled by them?  Why did my job dick me around so ruthlessly, but if I looked at other colleagues, the job would never dare to do the same shady things to them?”.  

Sometimes I observed that the very same boss was like a gracious, generous angel to specific colleagues, and then full on illegally shafting me or others, in the very next breath.  Why was this the case?  Further more, the most puzzling question of all: Why was I able to have phenomenal professional relationships with some of my colleagues, that lasted long after we both left the job and which I am able to maintain to this very day? But with other colleagues who couldn't meet my standards professionally, or who were outright shady, unethical and unscrupulous to me,  the connection for even a basic “we don’t even have to be friends whatsoever outside of this building, but let’s get this work done on a respectable and amicable level”  was impossible.  

It took a lot of therapy to figure this all out.  Yes, the issues were likely rooted in my dysfunctional childhood.  Yes, the issues were probably exacerbated by a couple of highly unusual and definitely relationship-related traumas that I faced in my early adulthood.  And yes, the issues were not helped by these blind spots I had about how to have relational discernment and tactical knowledge for how to approach these types of relational situations.  In a nutshell, relational immaturity manifested in my professional life.  Because other people would fully have no problems navigating these situations. But I did.  And I see the exact same patterns and struggles romantically.  

I hope that I have since developed an awareness around my issues; and that I now know enough to avoid or overcome these situations next time I’m in a promising romantic relationship, and in my professional relationships moving forward.  

If you sense that you might benefit from therapy, I strongly encourage you to seek it out.  Just the ability to admit to yourself “I might need help from a trained professional to figure out the root of these emotional struggles” is you, becoming more mature as an adult.  Because it takes courage and insight to realize when we need more help than we are able to find on our own.  

If you think you can’t afford therapy, it would surprise you to discover that there are ways to make it affordable.  For example, many college campuses give the students free personal counseling by default.  So take advantage of that in your twenties or during grad school.  Christian churches and other organizations offer personal counseling with bona fide therapists-in-training, who just need to get their hours completed under the supervision of a licensed therapist before they can officially get licensed themselves, and fly solo.  There is therapy online.  Your basic medical health coverage may cover therapy, unbeknownst to you.  Even free governement-issued health coverage may still include personal counseling.  

If the thought of talking to a therapist absolutely horrifies you, because it is too “mental” and you can’t even handle the thought that you have “mind problems”, I would encourage you to reframe what “therapy” can be.  The words “therapy”, and “mental health” completely turn me off. I don’t even want to begin to suggest that I possess, or to have anyone else label me as having “mental issues” when I know myself; and I know my mind is perfectly intact.  I’m just struggling in certain areas of my own personal success.  

Rather than defining this type of help as “mental health”, or even “therapy” that isn’t physical therapy, I would encourage you to choose to reframe it as “emotional intelligence training” and “self development”, under the umbrella of “personal counseling”.  I am WAY more comfortable with the title of “personal counseling” than I am with the labels of “therapy” and “mental health”.  Just because you are seeking personal counseling for issues that are not related to  your physical body, and you may need a little more help for problems that may be rooted in your past or in your emotional wellbeing, it does not mean you have a mental health problem. 

 I severely wish all personal counseling services everywhere would step into 2020 and re-label themselves under a much-needed umbrella of “social-emotional wellness services”.  This would totally strip the taboo for people to seek out these highly beneficial services; and encourage all wellbeing practitioners to practice under this umbrella.  Things like yoga, meditation, mental illness, personal counseling, couples counseling, family counseling, postpartum depression and anxiety, PTSD, and substance abuse-- all of this kind of stuff should be considered "social-emotional wellness services”, because they are all social-emotional issues. They are matters of the heart, mind, emotions, and relationship.  

If you’re like “yeah f*ck reframing-- I am not down with therapy at all, sorry”, there are a lot of beneficial podcasts on relationships that can begin to help you tap into your emotional core in private, and maybe help you get some insight on any past relationship traumas or relationship patterns.  There are amazing life coaches with free youtube videos that can help people.  

Some of my absolute favorites are: 

- “Stephan Speaks”

- heart of dating podcast (christian)

- Mark Manson

- Zen Habits

- Amy Chan / Renew Breakup Bootcamp

- Matthew Hussey (I would recommend more of his recent stuff, and less of his gamey, ‘how to get the guy’ manipulative kinda stuff).  

I have another resource that is absolutely phenomenal; but not everyone is ready for that level of truth.  And it does come from a christian man.  If you’re intrigued by that,  willing to be vulnerable, willing to hear harder truths, and especially if you consider yourself a Christian man or woman, send me a direct message  on tumblr and I’ll send you the name of one of the most transformative relationship coaches I have ever found.  

[ghostphoenix-kry]

k so ur always tagging goofy shit w lilith or amelia, so like i wanna know their deal, like give me a whole info dump

My friend, I will gladly dump some of my shit on them out for you,,, these two are particular favorites along with Sol. Also I am so sorry this turned out so long and so incoherent. I couldnt figure out what all to say about them and I forgot some of the things I could say about them.

Its really long.

I'll start off with the standard Lilith for now.

Lilith is a French musician and criminal in the Cowboy Times that are Red Dead Redemption. A woman with a lot of pride and an inability to take anyone's shit.

She grew up a single child with parents that firmly believed she needed to form herself to their ideas of life. She needed to be as perfect as possible to them and to her future husband. She needed to learn to be the ideal wife or she would fail in life. For years she tried to live up to their expectations but it was never enough and it wasnt healthy at all, so she got fed up with it and left home.

Out there in the 'real world' she developed a talent for musical performance and found out the hard way that relationships are painful and sketchy at best. After falling for the charms and promises of countless pretty faces and kind smiles, the lies coated in sweet words claiming love and devotion, she realized that people lie a lot. And that there were too many pompous men that seemed to think themselves entitled to nightly affection and heart, only to take it and fuck off with it.

Granted, she understood that it was naivety on her end and a want to feel some sense of being wanted that got her there. After a while of hoping the next time would be different and having it end up just the same, she decided she was done. A coldness had begun to sink in then, a hatred and bitterness towards the idea of folks flirting with her or attempting to pull the wool over her eyes with falsified affection.

So, Lilith said fuck this noise, and decided that if those rich and disloyal men were so sure of themselves and their worth to her, that she would use it. She would lean into it while remaining distant.

She would learn to lie incredibly well.

So she did just that. She performed as always, but it wasnt about the pocket change people would give her. Now she would seek out those pompous rich bastards herself, using tactics to suggest interest and letting them decide it was an invitation. Only to leave with them at night and leave them ass up in a ditch, their wallets now marginally lighter, and their faces a bit less perfect.

She became a temptress and a thief. And she became powerful and proud. Travelling from town to town in order to escape the law, she continued her performances and acts, targeting more unfortunate men with a momentous burden being in their wallet.

This said, she isn't inherently bitter towards everyone. But she definitely composes herself with an air of undeniable authority around other people. Essentially a vibe that for the most part tells people not to try anything or they will find her hands in their face before they can catch them.

Within a few small groups, her guard is lowered and she allows herself to be more relaxed though. Letting her usage of French slip out along with her humor and need to be earning her keep and helping out. She is used to being alone, so she wants to contribute somehow to anyone she might be staying with in order to convince herself and others that she is indeed helping. Look! I am doing work! Please let me stay! Usually these are the people she grows fond of and will protect with terrifying ferocity.

She is also at times though, a little bit dumb of ass. Lilith is fluent in French and in English, but there are words still in English that she thinks she knows but does not. For instance she gets confused by the names for baby animals and is quite convinced that quite a few baby animals are just -insert animal name- + "ling" (Piglings, chickenlings, gooselings, etc) In the times her inner idiot shows, she will get very flustered and embarrassed. She feels she is supposed to be smooth and intimidating afterall. Not to mention formal.

Also while she has very much given up on recieving love from another, and is quite against the prospect of a relationship, she does still catch feelings for people on occasion. And it always kind of scares her. But an affectionate or fond Lilith is an incredibly soft one that has a lot of love to give but is a bit hesitant to give it.

Lass is also very maternal in nature, even despite being a bit pissy. She wants to protect.

TLDR; Lilith Streith is bitter French musician and thief who does not trust getting close to men, but does find that the nice ones who are respectful are really super cool and she likes them a lot.

Amelia Alexi on the other hand, is quite the opposite.

Miss Alexi is a Grade-A gunslinger and mercenary in the Cowboy Times, a very annoyed and fed up deputy in FarCry, a S.T.A.R.S. agent that's too willing to fight literally anything in Resident Evil, and overall, a professional pun-slinging dumbass with sleep and trust issues.

I'm going to go with Cowboy Times storyline and traits because it's a bit better thought out at this time.

Amelia grew up with a brother and her parents, all of which she was very close with. She was brought up in a musical family, and a family that was very keen on the idea of being kind and doing what is right. They hunted and grew a good majority of their food, but were well enough liked by the nearby town too. They were good folks that helped a lot of people.

In a series of quite unfortunate events, some of which inadvertantly brought on by herself, Amelia found herself alone, wanted by the law for murder, and riddled with guilt and wrath. Her parents having disappeared on her and her brother, only for her brother to be executed for a crime she committed.

The law failed her brother big time, the judge having said guilty with little to no evidence of her brother's involvement. And seeming how it was her crime, she is so hurt and angered by his death. Wrath builds in her rather quickly, and she takes it out on those who caused it, killing off those crooked men of the law in a fury before stealing a horse and bolting, killing off any pursuers who come too close.

Those mental wounds continue to fester and her rage ends up directed towards the law as an entirety. They are liars and snakes. And if they want to come after her now, she won't hesitate to send them back to their maker.

Despite her resolve, she finds herself faced with nightmares and visions a plenty. Nightmares that startle her awake and leave her in tears. Nightmares about her brother's death, and the death's of so many others she has and hasn't met. They are painful and terrifying to her, so she soon decides the only way to avoid them would be to avoid the medium they come across, sleep.

Thus the first of her horrible care habits begins as Amelia cuts out sleep. Avoiding it at any cost, which soon enough weighs on her and causes a bit of paranoia. Constantly fatigued and constantly on high-alert, she somehow manages to retain her gun-slinging abilities and sharp senses for the most part, but unfortunately finds that her body will forcibly shut down on her and make her black out when it decides its had enough. Usually in rather unfortunate times and places.

The back of her horse

In the middle of a field

In a chair

In a tree

In the middle of cleaning her weapons

All over the place. Not ideal, but she is a surprisingly lucky lass, and nobody goes looking for a killer and expecting her to be passed out in the middle of the road.

Anyway, back to important stuff.

Due to the reputation she gains amongst the law, she finds herself being lassoed into a rather sketchy group of people. A den of vipers, men and women with guns and knives to lend. She finds herself in a guild of mercenaries, run by one Mama Morgen. The Queen of the den.

Amelia is soon enough stuck with the den, being called out to snuff out lives in return for money as well as assurance that Mama Morgen wouldnt turn those hired weapons on her for knowing too much.

While Amelia is usually apathetic anymore, too tired and done with life to care about others and too sure to keep her distance to get close enough to care, she is still a sweet hearted little woman. A lonely one, a tired and jaded one, but a sweet one.

She has odd habits and a sense of humor, finding some amusement in shitty jokes and some peace in playing a nice music piece on her violin. Her fury is strong, but it remains directed at those who wronged her so badly in the past. People aren't inherently bad, she can get along well enough with people, as she has retained her old kindness.

When she is comfortable with someone, she too tends to grow fond and protective of them. While she is far less maternal in nature, she doesnt want her friends to feel any kind of pain or anguish. To her they are deserving of the best and only the best, so she works hard to keep them free of danger or stress. To cheer them up and make them laugh when they do find themselves stressed or hurt. Within the short leddy, there is a lot of care to provide for those that she thinks have earned it.

Amelia can also be a bit sassy and dumb of ass as well. And proves it frequently. Any possible feelings she may catch are not registered as feelings until it hits her like a brick when she realizes that cuddling and snoozing with a person on a nightly basis is not a thing most people do when they're just friends. And trying to do horse tricks and cool stunts in front of a person to impress them is not entirely normal either.

Also, she does a lot of stunts. Miss Alexi is fond of two things: The warmth of a thousand suns, and The Thrill. Has on multiple occasions jumped off of cliffs in order to land in the water below, especially when being pursued. Though she does enjoy being pursued as well, especially in a rather cruel way when it's the law pursuing her.

She is intelligent as a person, but her common sense isn't always present and she is likely to crack a joke or impulsively steal things at inopportune times. There is little impulse control.

She is alive because of luck, spite, and an uncanny ability to shoot really quickly. Nothing more.

[silversabl-inova]

( same information beneath the read more if you’d rather click through. ) BIOGRAPHY | BASICS | WANTED ARCS

i can bear any   p a i n   as long as it has meaning.

IC PORTION; BASICS —

CHARACTER NAME/ALIAS: Silvija “Silver” Sablinova

FACECLAIM: Katherina McNamara

AFFILIATIONS: The Wild Pack, ISA 

AGE (physical age as well, if different): Twenty three (23)

SPECIES (human, metahuman, alien, etc): Human

IS YOUR CHARACTER’S IDENTITY SECRET OR PUBLIC?

... Is ‘both’ an okay answer? I’m sure she thinks her identity is secret, but her name is Silver Sablinova, it’s not like... a leap to guess she’s the Silver Sable.  I guess it’s probably secret to the rest of the world because I don’t think she’s “famous” yet, but in her home country and the criminal underworld of eastern Europe, she’s probably pretty well known for her more infamous capabilities.

IF SECRET, OR YOUR CHARACTER IS A CIVILIAN, DO THEY HAVE A CIVILIAN OCCUPATION?

She prefers the term “secular recovery operative” but she’d be most appropriately dubbed a nationalistic bounty hunter.

IF YOUR CHARACTER LIVES IN THE FORTRESS, WHAT ARE THEIR DUTIES?

N/A.

DESCRIBE SIX TRAITS (3 positive, 3 negative) YOUR CHARACTER HAS AND HOW THESE AFFECT THEM:

[ + ]: PROUD - The third generation of Symkarian nationalists, Silver’s childhood was quickly marred by an airstrike that stole her mother’s life and destabilized her entire country, causing a civil war. Ever since, all Silver’s life has felt like a battle: for freedom, for justice, for family, and for peace. She knows her family history like the back of her hand, and because of this, she knows that fateful day was the result of her own family lineage doing everything it can to protect Symkaria & its people - but in the end, they had done anything but. The last surviving member of the Sablinova line, it’s Silver’s duty to restore balance to Symkaria, and she holds this duty deep in her heart, fueling the fire inside her. Everything in her life can be boiled down to ending the war in Symkaria - nothing else matters to her, and Silver’s duty to her country & compassion for her people are, arguably, her best qualities. [ + ]: RESOURCEFUL - There’s nothing in a room that Silver can’t make into a weapon at a moment’s notice. She’s not above fighting dirty to achieve the upperhand, and if her arsenal of gadgets won’t do the trick, than whatever’s closest to her will have to do. Locked in an empty room? No matter - she’s trained her entire life for the inevitable day when that situation arises, and when it does, her foe will be shocked to learn that she is the deadliest weapon of all. [ + ]: UNWAVERING - Devotion is one thing, but Silver is unwavering in her support. Once past her icy exterior, Silver tends to show her devotion with actions rather than words. She’s the first to interject herself into a dangerous situation to protect those she cares about; that circle is too small to allow any harm in its way, and Sable would break any law or commit any crime to safeguard those closest to her. It’s why her heart has such exclusive access - that kind of loyalty is, quite literally, worth dying for.

[ - ]: COLD - There’s a certain sharpness Silver tends to adopt when dealing with... people. Whether it be her version of professionalism, or just a product of her childhood, Silver’s apathetic approach to most interactions may give the impression of aloofness or distance. Bridging that gap is difficult for her, and for what she can’t give people emotionally, she tries to supplement with non-verbal acts of compassion. Not everyone has the ability to see through her stony exterior, or bone dry humor, and she often comes across as unhospitable or unconcerned, even if she’s anything but. [ - ]: DETACHED - Sometimes, you have to be selfish to be selfless. Silver has to remind herself of this fact constantly to keep herself in check; it’s easy to be swept up in the warmth of compassion for all, but a good leader knows when to draw the hard line between what’s good for everyone, and what’s good for your people. Silver has to draw that hard line far more than she’d like to - her one track mind is on brand for the Wild Pack’s affairs, but on a larger scale, this self-centeredness can spell disaster when they’re not careful. She just continues to tell herself that if Symkaria will ever be restored to its former glory, she needs to become as comfortable as she can with restricting big picture empathy. [ - ]: INFALLIBLE - When Silver makes a choice, be it over a contract or a personal matter, she becomes quite obstinate that her decision was the best possible one. In most cases, thankfully, it ends up being true; however, when Silver does make a mistake, she will outright refuse to accept responsibility, instead often blaming all other factors surrounding the situation for impeding her. If the mistake is a deadly error that costs innocent lives, than her adamance  increases tenfold, but in her heart, she knows she’s not free from wrongdoing - she just refuses to relent her headstrong exterior for fear of losing the respect of the Wild Pack.

POWERS AND/OR ABILITIES:

Indomitable Will: unnaturally strong willpower, able to resist all forms of temptation, including subordination manipulation, telepathy, subliminal seduction, & mind control.

Weapons Specialist: skilled with a katana, throwing projectiles, stun guns, & dual-wield fighting.

Master Martial Artist: and gymnast!

Multilingual: Fluent in seven languages - English, French, German, Italian, Japanese, Somali, & Symkarian

WEAKNESSES:

Human: Quite literally, she’s human. No level of aptitude with guns, throwing knives, Kevlar bodysuits, or martial arts will help her defeat super-powered foes, and even though she can keep up with the best of them, a well timed sniper would write the end to Silver’s story immediately.

The Wild Pack: One of the last vestiges of her family history, Silver’s pledge to lead the Wild Pack includes protecting them, at all costs. There’s few honors she holds higher than the privilege to be apart of their ranks, let alone their commander in chief. She wouldn’t jeopardize their well-being for any contract, no matter how ludicrous.

Symkaria: It goes without saying that on the global playing field, Symkaria is the beating heart of Silver’s allegiances. She loves her country, and she would do anything to return it to the glory of her childhood - even if that means aligning with the wrong people for the right amount of time. Silver’s compassion for her countrymen - and longing for what used to be - outranks her perception of the bigger picture.

WHAT DREW YOU TO THIS CHARACTER?:

Well. I love Silver Sable, off the bat - the Spiderverse is pretty much my favorite comic conglomerate in the world, so I feel pretty comfortable writing characters derived from it. I dig a good villain, or at least, antagonists, and I just feel like Silver is one of those characters you can really dig your teeth into & flesh out so many different layers. The death of her mother at a young age, the duty to a country she saw prosper & implode within her lifetime, the lineage to uphold within The Wild Pack, and moving forward, the mending of Symkaria & creation of Sable International -- they’re all different strokes of the same woman, and I love poking & prodding around them all to see what sticks!

IC PORTION; DETAILS —

WHAT BROUGHT YOUR CHARACTER TO SOKOVIA?

Money. She’s only there to fulfill a contract - she’s been hired by the ISA to retrieve any powered people she can find. She’s not a big fan of Sokovia as of late, especially given their recent catastrophes. The damage to Sokovia had a ripple effect, upsetting the socioeconomic standard of neighboring countries. This, of course, includes Symkaria; getting powered people out of Sokovia will hopefully halt the continued destabilization she’s watched through her country even further off balance, making it easier for the oppressive regime currently in place to make swooping laws

(I would like to offer your current players the ability to opt into this plot! I don’t want to assume anyone wants her as an antagonist - if no one’s interested, she can certainly creep along the sidelines within the city of Matchak in the name of reconaissance. I would die if she & the Wild Pack were part of the reason why people are going missing in the woods, or at the very least, they begin to provide intelligence as to who or what is causing it.)

DID THEY SIGN THE ACCORDS? WHY OR WHY NOT?

No, Silver & her team aren’t superpowered and thus, outside the scope of the Accords, the ISA, or anybody else, for that matter.

(Well, maybe not Interpol, but that’s not her chief concern... ever.)

PROVIDE 3-5 HEADCANONS RELATED TO YOUR CHARACTER:

Thou Shalt Not Kill: Silver doesn’t consider herself a mercenary, unlike the rest of her crew, and for good reason. She staunchly keeps to a “no kill” rule; her clients pay her for retrieval, not assassination (and even if they did, her price would be too high). Silver specifically accepts contracts that require her to bring the target back alive, preferably to face trial. It’s a moral and economical decision - she believes in the hard lines of justice, and typically, the Wild Pack will get hired to also run security for these high profile trials. It’s a win-win in her eyes, especially because this moral alignment begins & ends with her; she can’t force the Wild Pack, a band of true mercenaries, to abide by that rule unless it’s part of the fine print. Otherwise, they don’t get paid.

I’m Not Your Silver Lining: Silver does not “connect” well with others. Even the Wild Pack, despite being raised within their ranks, has become inexplicably difficult for her to bond with after she assumed a leadership rule over them. She doesn’t put herself on any kind of pedestal; it’s just lonely at the top, and heavy is the head that wears the.. crown? Tactical helmet? Whatever. Regardless, her icy exterior isn’t the result of her pride, but her inability to display outward affection. It makes her quite difficult to befriend, let alone romance.

Anything You Can Do...: She does not do well with being confronted with her own mortality, chiefly the indisputable fact that she is not super powered. She’s quick to start a fight with anyone who dares to say it. Silver has accomodated this woeful transgression of fate in every way she could, keeping a strict training routine that began in her childhood and never letting herself have a “real” life outside of the Wild Pack. Stories of her “powers,” passed in hushed whispers around Symkaria, never failed to bring the smallest of smiles to the Ice Queen’s lips, before quickly melting away. She feels uncomfortable around true superpowered individuals, knowing she’s at a tactical disadvantage at all times, so Silver prefers the company of augmented humans or just normal people.

WANTED CHARACTER CONNECTIONS:

Peter Parker: NEVERENDING PLOTS FOR SPIDEY!!!! I’m partial to Silver being an antagonist against Spiderman; I’m also partial to them being begruding partners, and pretty much everything in between! There’s a lot of back story I would want to establish with Peter’s player, since Silver does have some background in NYC at the Symkarian Embassy. Has she heard of him from her time in America, and can’t believe her eyes when she sees web residue in the forests of Sokovia? Maybe he intrigues her, in the sense of cat-and-mouse, the chase for a target that she can never quite catch. Anyway, I just like that they’re well matched and could endlessly go in circles around one another!

Dick Grayson: Silver will not take well to other mercenaries on her turf, and if she finds herself losing targets - and money - because of some dick in a spandex suit, she’s going to intervene the only way she knows how: a tactical net and a stun gun, to haul his ass off to ISA, or whoever offers the highest bid for his head. Either way, their connection would be openly antagonistic, and it’d be way more enjoyable if he continously slips through her fingers through the fault of only her own.

Tony Stark / Bruce Wayne: Waaaaaay in the future, but right off the bat - I know I’d love to lay the groundwork for Silver to have Tony and/or Bruce help her begin the first drafts of Sable International weaponry, specifically the special red energy blasters they use as well as their unique armor.

I like the idea of Tony trying to spear head any kind of science based project, but obviously, he has his own demons that he’s struggling with re: his inventions, so that would be the slowest of burns for Silver to actually convince him to help her of all people. Potentially, it would be easier to recruit Bruce because she has a hard moral alignment of Justice, which may appeal to him, but it also may not since she doesn’t have an issue breaking other countries’ laws to acquire her target. It really depends! I’m open to either or both options.

POTENTIAL CHARACTER ARCS: ( ohhhhh buddy... )

THE WILD PACK: Silver’s ascenscion to leader of the Wild Pack may not be a new development, but  I don’t think she has quite the handle over her role as her father had. At the moment, she’s still trying to prove herself that she was their best choice. It doesn’t help that she was merely picked for lineages’ sake, the group being “passed on” to her, despite there being members who were more qualified and possibly, even more respected than a Sablinova. It’s caused Silver to retreat within herself, for now, as she tries to feel out what’s the best version of herself to be that can actively command their respect. I want to see her grow within this role, specifically finding her stride and proving herself as not just her father’s daughter, but her own person. I’m mainly focused on her accepting the weight of her father’s death as a “positive” burden to shoulder, because it gave her the Wild Pack, but without anyone to banter off of, I want to remain a little removed from addressing her relationships with individual members until I get a better idea of her.

THE BAD GUY?: At the moment, she’s not very concerned with anyone’s opinion of her, outside of the Wild Pack’s. If that means that she’s comes across as a “villain” for simply doing her job, she doesn’t quite care - everyone has to make a living somehow, and she hasn’t seen these so-called “superheros” do very much to help anyone other than themselves. Sure, individual civilians are great to rescue, but they hold no concern for the bigger picture when it comes to their actions.

THE GLOBAL PEACE AGENCY: I don’t know what the hell is going to happen with this group, but boy am I excited! Regardless of whether their true to their name, I think Silver’s entire personality is tailored to be taken advantage of by them, especially if they promise stability for Symkaria. As long as she’s not exposed to intel that hints at bad intentions, she’d probably operate at their beck and call, until her trust in their motivations becomes fractured.

SABLE INTERNATIONAL: I want Sable International to come to fruition!!! I don’t know how, or why, but I just love that journey for her! Maybe as a retirement plan from “bounty hunting,” so she can lean more into private security consulting? Maybe as a tactical weaponry distributor that could rival Lex Luthor / Trask / Oscorps’ on the global market, but in the name of “good”? Maybe something happens to the Wild Pack and it’s the only way she can keep herself sane in the following months? WHO KNOWS!!! I’m always open to ideas!

CHARACTER BIO —

Silvija Sablinova and her mother, Sacha, were sleeping peacefully in their beds the morning that the Sablinova family was changed forever. It was too early to even be awake, dawn having not yet struck its colorful brilliance across the lavender-grey when the drone peppered the valley. It wasn’t the first time such an act of aggression was lobbed across their way, but this time, her father Ernest wasn’t there to save them, away on an assignment with his Wild Pack. It was the end of February, the winter of 2002. Silver was five, and from that moment on, she never left her father’s side again.

After that, the story sounds the same. Daddy's little girl raised to be his right hand; there's no softness, no grief, only purpose for them both to find vengenance for her mother's killer. Not a border nor an army could keep them from finding whoever ordered the strike, and with the Wild Pack by their side, their path toward retribution knew no limit. In the mean time, they trained, and Silver's entire life began and end at all the same lines as her father's. It would be nice, if the story could stop there, but it never does.

For generations, the Sablinova's served the monarchy that ruled over Symkaria, until World War II threw the entire planet off-kilter and brought their beloved country into turmoil. Her grandfather was a prolific Nazi hunter and a national hero, actively fighting against the civil war threatening to break out across the land. Her father followed in his footsteps, his career more focused on collecting HYDRA agents with terror charges, alongside his infamous band of mercenaries as they brought countless criminals to justice. In 2017, when it was exposed that HYDRA had infiltrated SHIELD, a frequent employer of the Wild Pack...It was no surprise they would be targeted, but once again, Symkaria became the battleground of their disposal; their loved ones targeted, their neighborhoods raided, and soon, they were left no choice but to go underground.

Silver was there the day that her father's tenure as their fearless leader came to a shuddering halt, face to face with the man who hadn't just taken her mother from them. He'd destroyed their homeland in the name of the enemy. He'd taken peace from innocents without a second thought. In his final act of treachery, he stole her father's life and body, slipping through the Wild Pack's clutches as they gave desperate chase, but to no avail. She was the natural choice as his successor; it was a lifetime achievement tainted with sorrow and defeat.

The hunt has never ended, despite what Silver says. She knows her father's dead, and she'll probably never find the man who destroyed her family, but still, she waits. Until then, it was business as usual; catch the bad guys, bring them to justice, rinse & repeat. No duty is monotonous when it serves a greater purpose, but eventually, even Silver couldn't stop herself from pushing the Wild Pack toward Sokovia. Their unrest had begun to bubble over and spill across its borders, eventually displacing refugees and criminal activity into Symkaria's own. Silver Sable may be investigating client contracts, but Silver Sablinova is bidding her time, waiting for something, anything to help her either accept the fate that's been handed to her, or to find the man that caused it.

Until then, all she can do is be stronger than she was the day before.

[hollowcrovvn]

The Ostensive Fumblings of Being Human (part 3)

Pairing: Connor x female!reader Rating: T (please note rating change) Summary: Set two months after the ending of Detroit: Become Human, androids are living in government created “pop-up” communities while efforts are being made to integrate them into society. You are a grad-student volunteer with the Detroit Crisis Response Unit (DCRU), working to help with relief efforts. And now, finally it’s time for that coffee.

Notes: Disclaimer: I am obsessed with Machiavelli so it was only a matter of time before I threw him in here. And by obsessed I mean I loathe most of his points of view and like some of them. It's a love-hate thing. One of my first “date questions” is always on Machiavelli and I feel like it is very relevant given the upheaval and changes in the “government” in the end of the game as a result of the revolution.Though his bit on Moses is making me have all the Markus-needs-to-eventually-appear inklings. (part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6) (part 7) (ao3)

It had started as just a regular conversation on interests, tucked in the back of the coffee shop where there were nice sleek couches to lounge in, but had divulged into an intense debate on one of the most important topics of the past-- Kindles.

“Okay. The world treated eReaders like the devil in the early 2010s. Now? Can barely find a printed book anywhere.”

“Which has cut down on mass deforestation since paper is no longer in high demand.” Connor noted, playing devil’s advocate so perfectly it was enough to make a conflict addicted girl swoon.

“Exactly! So why all the fuss back when? Cause of some preoccupation with nostalgia ? Even now you got guys like Hank who bemoan the loss of paperbacks, as if we’re all gonna forget how to read in the meanwhile.”

Connor smiled and reached out, plucking the sleeve of your jacket aka the remake of the 2003 Canada Goose brand. He sat back, looking pleased with himself as you grumbled into your second latte. Granted, it hardly looked like coffee at all but more like chocolate milk with the amount of creamer you’d had them use. You’d refused to order your usual, to Connor’s chagrin. He had not yet it seemed formed an opinion to what your actual favorite was.

“It’s different! They responsibly source the materials for those coats now.” you insisted, but Connor only smiled and smiled, refusing to concede to your point. As if he had any room to talk. This man had at least four different styles, alternating between professional, casual professional, street  and hipster circa 2010. He mixed them sometimes to interesting effects. You were pretty sure he spent the majority of his paycheck on clothes.Then again, after spending most of his life being forced to wear the same damn android branded attire, you could hardly blame his enthusiasm.

“One could argue the shift to electronics however, is contributing to the climate change phenomenon.” Connor added, picking up the paperback book in question that had started this conversation. It was one of Hank’s, which was shocking. The Prince by Machiavelli. You half wondered if it was meant to be a joke on Connor’s expense or if Hank had actually recommended something halfway decent, if not a bit pessimistic, for the Android to learn about.

You huffed, “So we’re killing the planet no matter what. Great. Cheery. I need another coffee.”

Connor’s LED whirled, blinking before settling a solid blue. “Your pulse is elevated to 97 beats per minute and your blood pressure has raised by 8 and 6 points in systolic and diastolic blood pressure, respectively. I would advise switching to water.”

“How do you know that's from the caffeine and not your innate magnetism .” you said, trying to lower your voice to a “sultry” level, but only managing to laugh.

“That would be highly improbable. I emit no traceable magnetic fields.”

Then the mother fucker winked .

You had begun to realize the parts of his personality you thought were intentional deadpan humor, were in fact, just deadpan facts. That one though? Definitely intentional . He picked up the book, thumbing open the pages that were dogeared and worn.

“Published in 1532, a political treatise by Italian diplomat and political-theorist, Niccolo Machiavelli. Considered one of the first books of modern philosophy, it’s topics range from human nature, military prowess, governments and history.”

He flipped to a specific page that you could tell had been once been highlighted and circled several times, now faded with time. Once upon a time, maybe Hank had noted it.

“Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel.” he read aloud, perfect and clear. You shut your eyes and listened.

“Every one sees what you appear to be, few--” he stopped abruptly, drawing your attention upward. He swallowed, his throat bobbing, “Few... really know what you are.”

His LED flickered yellow for a few seconds and then faded back to blue. You didn't really have the heart to tell him the quote was being taken wildly out of context, because it fit too well. It spoke to him. Let it mean what he wanted it to mean.

“This should be a very interesting read. Have you read it?” he asked, turning to the beginning of the book.

“Oh yeah, me and about 100 other people in PHI 1100. “Contemporary Moral Issues”. After I limped my way through the introductory course, I managed to do somewhat decent there.”

“Do you enjoy philosophy?”

“I tolerate it. Barely. With clenched teeth. I think it’s all well and good to “feed your mind” as Dolce would say, as long as your stomach is full. That’s not a common thing for the poor though so philosophy has always seemed to me as… well, a rich-man’s way to kill time.”

You swished the remaining dregs of your latte around in the bottom of your cup.

“I think it’s real easy to sit on high telling people they need to think of this, or that when you don’t have to worry about where your next meal is coming from.”

Connor gave a wry smile, “Then it is a good thing I don’t eat. I will need to read a few more selections before I form a more in depth opinion.”

“Knock yourself out, hipster. I’ll send you all my ebooks I had to get for the classes if you want.”

He perked up, the LED on his temple spiraling.

“My designation code should appear now on your phone for upload.” he said with excitement. His eyes held onto yours patiently, the intensity of it making you flounder, quickly grabbing your phone. Sure enough there was a message that a “RK800” unit was attempting to sync to your device.

[ allow synchronization? y/n? ]

You clicked yes and watched as the phone took on a mind of its own, files opening and flipping at rapid speed until it settled upon your digital library. You set the phone down carefully, eyes flicking between Connor and the device. He had that same far away look Josh got when accessing the web. It took only a few seconds before your phone flashed the words the same time Connor spoke them,

“Upload completed. Thank you, reading these should be very…” he paused, “Fun.”

“And I thought I needed to get out more.” you said, enjoying the bright look of wonder on Connor’s face as his eyes flickered back and forth, clearly already browsing the new selection.

“It doesn’t bother you, does it?” he said, tilting his head, “I should have clarified if you meant to send them now.”

“It’s definitely gonna take some getting use to if you make a habit of connecting to my phone, but nah, it doesn’t bother me.” you said, but Connor still looked skeptical so you continued,  “I’m a little jealous to be honest, woulda made reading those bricks easier if I knew you three years ago.”

“It is very efficient. However, no more so than any other academic assistant android you could have purchased then.”

You felt a twist in your chest at the way he said “purchased” so easily when you could tell by the faint grimace on his face that the idea was as disturbing now to him as a “deviant” as it was to you.

“I meant like a classmate,” you quickly added, “Like the way we are now.”

“You study urban planning, not philosophy. Perhaps I should browse those texts as well so we can have more “classmate” simulate conversations.” he said, tilting his head to the other side as if considering the idea further.

“We can always talk about you.” you said, “What do you like?”

His head tilted slightly further, he almost looked like a puppy when he did that, brown eyes soft and always, always curious.

“I enjoy solving cases with Hank-- Lieutenant Anderson. I enjoy calibrating my reflex drive with coin tricks. I like talking with--”

You held up a hand, “Whoa whoa, back up! Coin tricks?!”

Your sudden enthusiasm seemed to take him off guard, but within a moment he produced a quarter from his pocket. He let it slowly walk across his knuckles one way and then faster backwards. You watched, rapt in attention and smiling bright.

“What else?!” you asked and Connor gave a lopsided smile, standing up.

“I need a bit more room for this one. Okay. So-- first you flip.” he said and did so, flipping the coin up once in the air, “And then--”

He flicked it so fast from one hand directly into the other that you almost missed it. Your entire face broke open, “Ooooohh my god! Do that again!”

He was more than happy to oblige, this time flicking the coin back rapidly and then ending by catching it between two fingers.

“Okay you have got to teach that one to me.”

“I’m not sure if you’d be able to get it without a lot of practice, but-- here.” he took your hand in his, carefully directing you to hold your fingers in a scissor shape the way he had. His eyes were intensely focused as he moved you exactly where he needed, carefully stepping behind you and placing his hands on your hips.

“Stand a bit more grounded.”

He nudged your shoe with his and you complied, hoping he wasn’t registering the heat rising up in your face. Was he holding on just a bit longer than was really even needed? A bit tighter? You could just barely feel the brush of his shirt at your back, leaning towards it.

“Don’t move.” he said, a soft command. You stood back up straight.

He came around to stand at your side, not even noticing the small gathering of people who were now watching the pair of you.

“Alright. Ready?”

You nodded.

“Just... hold… still.”

He paused, LED whirling for a moment before he flicked the coin and it found itself, trapped perfectly between your index and middle finger. You all but squealed, laughing with unbridled delight.

“That was so freakin’ cool! Can we do it again?”

But before Connor could take the coin from you, a man pushed over to the sitting area and scowled.

“Hey. No fuckin’ tin-can’s. Did you not see the sign lady?”

You were caught off guard, but Connor immediately straightened.

“Sign? There aren’t anymore signs.” you said, remembering that there was no tell tale red sign with a blue triangle issuing that androids were not allowed when you entered.

“There should be. There was. Now we gotta deal with these plastic freaks acting like they own the damn city.”

He looked Connor up and down with measured disgust, eyes lingering on the LED that was quickly flashing yellow.

“You should keep your pet at home.” the man continued, “You don’t see people bringing their dogs where others eat.”

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to please return to your table.” Connor’s voice was more mechanical than you had heard it before, measured and even, despite the yellow light flickering.

“I detect levels of ethanol on your breath. A bit early for a nightcap, isn’t it?” Connor continued and the man’s expression switched quickly to shocked and then pissed.

“Keep your fuckin’ eyes off me, freak.” he said, shoving Connor, who did not even move a fraction. “Public intoxication is a misdemeanor under Section 750.168 of the Michigan penal code. I advise you take your coffee home, sir, and sober up .” Connor said, standing up way too far into this guy’s space to be mistaken for anything but an invitation that said, Hit me, do it. I dare you.

You moved forward, quickly slipping your arm between the two men, curling it around Connor’s abdomen. You slid your entire body between them, the asshole guy stepping back.

“Hey, he’s a cop . See?” you pushed aside Connor’s jacket, displaying the DPD badge on his hip.

“You wanna add assaulting an officer to that rap sheet he’s already typing up from his head?”

The guy noted the badge and despite his initial aggression, he took a step back.

“Whatever, bitch.”

You sighed, relieved he was backing off, until Connor lurched forward from behind you. You spun around, pushing your palms flat against his chest. He didn’t resist you, but he didn’t take his eyes off the guy either.

“Apologize to her.” he said, each word punctuated with rigid coldness, LED flashing red.

“Fuck you and your plastic-fuckin’ girlfriend.”

“Hey!” a voice drew all three of your attention up to a barista wearing a different uniform than the others, designating her a manager, “How about you all take a breather somewhere else before I call the real cops?”

“Fine.” you said, pushing back at Connor who had stepped forward again trying to outmaneuver you.

“It’s a nice sunny day and I’m not a fan of the smell of shit and espresso.” you said, giving the guy a glare of your own. You took Connor’s hand, ignoring any comments from anyone else as you headed out the door. Connor didn’t fight you, but walked briskly away from the coffee shop to the point it was now like he was leading you.

His grip was tight, unrelenting. His LED was still a vivid circle of red. Once you were far enough away, you dug your heels in and released his hand. He stopped, but still held on. He snapped his eyes to yours, looking confused and just so-- lost. Like he wasn’t even sure where he was or where he was going.

You didn’t even know where to start.

“… Connor, I am so sorry.”

What else could you say? You were the stupid one who invited him there. His brows furrowed tightly, anger still twitching in his lips as he shook his head.

“Don’t.” he said, voice strained, “Don’t apologize for them .”

His jaw was tight, working and unclenching. He was rubbing your hand in his own, a tick similar to his coin. People walked around you as you both were standing in the middle of the sidewalk, giving Connor nervous glances as they passed. He noticed finally and stepped to the side, filing into an empty alley facing the street.

“I need a minute.” he said, his pulmonary functions attempting to slow. You stepped closer, reaching up to gently touch his back. You stroked up once.

“Of course, just… take all the time you need.”

He was tense, every carbon fiber cord in his body ready to respond, to act. His LED began flickering, slowly turning yellow and holding.

“It’s becoming more common.” he said, disappointment evident in his voice.

“I’d say it was always common, people feeling safe to express their stupidity has just gotten worse.”

“Not that.” he said, sighing, “My… temper. Hank says I have a temper .”

A deviant android with a quick fuse, that wasn’t entirely unheard of, but yet Connor seemed disturbed more so by his own behavior than the other guys.

“I detected a significant jump in your pulse and breathing rate. You were upset. I upset you.” Connor said, going to release your hand. You snapped it back up before he could, squeezing tight.

“Connor. Look at me.”

He did.

“I wasn’t upset because of you, I was upset for you.” you said, searching his eyes, making sure you confirmed his understanding before you continued, “That guy was being a grade A dickhead and I… I made you show me those tricks and it just drew all that attention to you. It’s dumb and it’s unfair , but I should have known better.”

“I wanted to show you.” Connor said, insistent, “I knew it would make you smile. I… like that. When you were asking what I like. I like receiving positive feedback from you. It’s very informative.”

That got a laugh from you, quiet and resigned.

“Like that. I don’t know how I got you to do that, but I’m attempting to work it out. So far the data has been inconsistent.”

“Really?” you said, “How so?”

“You laugh even when I am actually not trying to be humorous.” Connor said, as if you were a bit silly for not knowing.

“You’re a funny guy.”

“Hank would say otherwise.”

Connor’s LED had returned to blue, holding steady.

“Your temperature is dropping. You should be getting home so you can warm up.”

“No.” you said, grinning. This time when he furrowed his brow it was not as sharp.

“Your current core temperature is not a debatable subject, ---. You are at 97.9 degrees.”

You hummed, “So question. When you do that, are you scanning my entire body or just the surface temperature?”

Connor opened his mouth, thought better, and then it closed it. You swore if he could blush he would be. You inclined your head expectantly.

“What else does the scan pick up?” you asked, both curious and enjoying the look of semi-panic rushing over Connor’s features. The blue LED flickered just for a moment.

“I know that you have not eaten in the last four hours and will begin to feel hunger pains in approximately the next twenty to thirty minutes.” he stated matter-of-factly, “You have a healed fracture on your left ankle, most likely from rolling it sometime within the last two years. Also, your pupils dilate when you look at me, indicating that you find me aesthetically pleasing.”

“Ho-kay.” you said, interrupting him and snatching your hand back, “You had me at the beginning there, I’ll admit.”

“Did I successfully embarrass you, ---?” Connor said, putting his hands into his pockets and following after you with a renewed smugness.

“Um. That’s such cheating. I can’t control my pupils!”

“Of course. I understand it is not conscious. Besides. I was designed to be pleasing .”

“Yeah? Then I’m gonna need you to tell me where to file a product complaint.”

Connor laughed and it sounded so human it infected your own smile.

“”Hello, yes Cyberlife?”, you continued, using your hand to mimic a phone, “”Do you take constructive criticism? Because your RK800 model is becoming a royal pain in my ass.””

“I’ve never had a bad review in my life!” he asserted, placing a hand over his chest in mock offense.

“That’s because you’ve only been alive for seven months! God. You’re an infant. I am literally on a date with an infant.”

Your laughter subsided when you noted Connor was no longer part of the chorus, turning to look at him, you found his own eyes trailed on you with the barest of smiles.

“This has been… different. Good, but different.” he said, choosing the words carefully, “I’d like to do it again.”

“Yeah, yeah, you smug bastard. You probably already know I’m going to say “yes” by the micro expressions of my eyebrows or some crap.”

Your joke was cut short as Connor stepped forward, gingerly reaching up and letting his hand trace the side of your face, thumb rubbing in gentle circles for a moment over the spot right next to your brow. His eyes were hooded, intent.

“No. I don’t think I see anything.”

He was so close-- god damn him for being so close. You couldn’t read his face at all on whether he was being serious right now or was being a tease. The LED light on his temple gave nothing away in it’s blue aura.

“Wait...right there.”

You felt your breath catch.

“I detect the forming of premature wrinkles.”

“Oh, you asshole. ”

You swatted at him, but he was too fast, dodging out of range with a school boy grin.

“I’m freezing and I’m hungry and I think you need to go home and think about what you’ve done.” you said, crossing your arms against the frigid breeze.

“I told you all of those things a minute ago.” Connor said, returning to arms reach long enough to offer his hand in what you assumed was to be a handshake. You scoffed and submitted, letting him take your hand again lightly. He squeezed and let go.

“I’ll text you later.” he said, mirroring your own words. For a moment it almost felt so normal. Just a boy and a girl on a date. It hadn’t turned out to be what you expected, but that was something you were beginning to think you could live with.

“You better.”

When had it become so hard to concentrate? You rapt your stylus against your desk, oblivious to the crowd and the constant hum of conversation as people moved around the facility. You hadn’t heard back anything from Josh regarding the files you brought, in fact, you hadn’t seen an android inside the DCRU office in several days. You leaned back in your chair, hoping to catch a glimpse but instead found yourself looking right into the pencil skirt of London Fog-- aka your supervisor, Miranda.

“You interested in getting out of here?” she asked, curly brown hair tied back in a bun. You think she must been a librarian in a past life based on how she dressed. Nothing else would explain those cat eye glasses.

“Depends.” you said, voice wary. She laughed, because honestly you didn’t have too much choice in it.

“We’re doing a quick run through. We’ve gotten reports that there have been some break ins through the fence perimeter around the--” she stopped, trying to avoid the word “camp” like most people in charge. It was not a good connection to form.

“-- housing facilities. Just need to assess the damage and estimate cost. The androids asked specifically for the director to come, but she is busy elsewhere.” Miranda shrugged, “If I have an intern following me, I look more important!”

Ah, the director. Cinnamon dolce.

Knowing that there was not much more discussion to be had, you picked up your tablet and your coat.

“Where’s the damage?” you asked, voice weary.

“We’ve got a ride to the other side of the facility all lined up for us.” Miranda said, flicking through some documents and sending them to your tablet.

“It’ll be a good learning opportunity!”

Sure. Yay. Fence maintenance.

By the time you arrived it became very obvious that this was not some accidental damage or wear-and-tear, this was a full on someone-took-pliers-to-the-fence-and-cut-a-hole damage. You recognized Josh out of the crowd of humans and androids. He gave you a faint smile and then turned his attention to Miranda.

“Was it a break out?” she asked, earning a narrow look from Josh.

“We’re not prisoners here. Everyone knows they can come and go as they please.” Josh said, voice edged with warning.

“So break in?” Miranda said, confirming to herself. You flipped to the incident report she sent to your tablet and began to jot down notes.

“It would appear so. But nothing was taken. No one has seen anyone strange around the homes either.”

The “homes” for lack of a better word, were simple modular buildings, stacked in sets of three with outside stair railings. A few androids stood on said stairs, peering over the side down at them. The entire facility sat in an old parking lot formerly used by GM back in the late 2000s. It had been sitting vacant for years now and taken by the government for use in the re-homing process.

The modular homes were efficient, if not always “cozy”. The androids were able to file comfort requests, but you’d seen the stacks. It was hard to imagine it was easy to get much of anything, but it was safe . Safer than outside, where humans might attack an android on the street. Here there were soldiers and fences that were meant to keep the outside world out, not them in.

Markus would have not accepted anything less.

“I don’t like that. Have the military units informed to be looking for someone who doesn’t belong and pull any CCTV footage from this area.” Miranda said, stepping forward and examining the fence more closely.

“Tracks say three people!” a voice yelled from above. There was a young looking blond man, standing at the very top of the modular complex. He quickly made his way down, easily constructing a safe path to the ground.

Josh smiled with familiarity, taking the hand offered to him by the man warmly.

“When did you get back into the city?”

“A few days ago. Glad to be back though. D.C. is somehow even colder.”

Miranda turned her attention back towards the two men, greeting the newcomer with nothing more than a faint nod.

“Simon. You said three people?”

Simon nodded, pointing to a variety of spots that now showed traces of mud and slush disturbance.

“Three. They circled in, came this way…”

He moved ahead, heading behind the modular unit. There was a good fifteen feet between it’s back and the fence.

“Then this way. Stopped here, but then one set of tracks keeps going while the other two circle back.” Simon’s eyes narrowed, giving Josh a strange look.

“Something isn’t right. I smell--”

A flash. Blinding and loud. So loud that suddenly your ears were filled with unbearable ringing. You felt your feet lift from the ground, heat bursting across your skin. There were quick flicks of pain, as if a hail storm had pelted you. And then you found the ground again, hitting hard to the concrete as the ringing just kept on. Something heavy fell on your chest, knocking the wind from you.

Your vision blurred, arms shaking as you tried to find something, anything to hold onto to make the world stop spinning. Someone was ontop of you, arms curled around your frame. The smell of thirium and smoke was thick in your nostrils and when your vision came to, there was blue andJosh.

All cradled in a backdrop of red flames.

[a-sjournals-posts]

favorite ao3 - all of them now

Booksmart - Amy and Hope: - indefinitely, maybe by freerangeegghead: In which Amy navigates post-high school life and finds something she never knew she was looking for (2 chapters, 16,532 words) - Never Break the Shape We’ll Take by lco123:  Five girls Amy kisses after graduation. (5 chapters, 10,820 words) - homemade dynamite by magnet:  A twelve-year-old Hope moves into the same apartment complex as Molly Davidson. (2 chapters, 26,818 words) - scoring points on and off the field by lover_of_many_things:  Hope is the captain of the soccer team. Amy is her nerdy and activist obsessed self. She and Amy just kind of fall into each other–literally. (one shot, 5,955 words) Fifth Harmony - Camila and Lauren - waterloo by listenup_folks:  Lauren has always known Camila is the most amazing person in the whole world. It isn’t until her senior year that she realizes there’s only one “most amazing person in the world” and that she wants nothing more than for that person to be hers. (10 chapters, 29,825 words) pitch perfect - emily junk and beca mitchell (seen pp2 and missed them) - Fake It ‘Til You Make It by  bmcbapej:  It takes years for Beca and Emily to properly question why they’re so good at making other people believe they’re dating. (one shot, 4,165 words) - to have and to hold (until we grow old) by  moxiemorton:  If their paths crossed before they met at Barden, it would’ve purely been luck. Not fate, not destiny, none of that soulmate crap. Just luck. (one shot, 8,083 words) - Look Into My Eyes And Say You Want Me, Too (Like I Want You) by saturndust:  The first time Beca Mitchell saw Emily Junk was when she met her at HSMUN. Debate was dull as hell and Beca wanted to go home. But then she saw the tall brunette sitting and blowing bubble gum and crap She’s pretty. And then she talks to her and Beca wants the conference to last forever. (one shot, 5,402 words) - hey honey you could be my drug (…all this trash talk make me itchin’) by  sylviewashere :  There’s a new a capella group on campus, and they’re the Bellas main competition for Nationals. It’d be easier for Beca to hate them if their captain wasn’t so cute. (one shot, 4,168 words) - i wouldn’t know where to start (sweet music) by sylviewashere:  Beca’s known Jesse and Emily for most of her life. She never thought of Emily as more than Jesse’s little sister, and then suddenly, they become roommates, and Beca thinking that Emily is cooler than she thought. Maybe a lot cooler. (one shot, 3,666 words) - Can I Get Your House Key? by wherehopelies:  Since they were kids, Emily and Beca always used to joke how they would live together when they got older. Emily never expected those jokes to become reality, but she never expected to fall in love with her best friend since kindergarten either. (one shot, 16,706 words) - I Wish the Real World Would Just Stop Hassling Me by wherehopelies:  “Being a guardian angel is kind of the worst. Especially when you’re designated Human is the disaster that is Beca Mitchell.” (one shot, 3,761 words) - I’m Starting To Want You (More Than I Want To) by wherehopelies: "In the years after, they’ll say it started with a kiss on a stormy night. They’ll say it began with tequila and lust and boredom. They’ll remember hot skin and frantic breathing and the taste of alcohol mixed with new beginnings and maybe just a little bit of we-shouldn’t-do-this.The truth is, it was much more innocent than that.“ (one shot, 5,907 words) - is it cool that i said all that? (is it too soon to do this yet?) by wherehopelies: bemily tattoo au or the one where beca’s a tattoo artist and chloe is the resident piercing specialist and they’re totally into the cute girls who stop by one day. side flirty chacie because i can (one shot, 11,026 words) - like a needle on a record (you fit right into me) by moxiemorton:  She literally just wanted to get rid of a persistent frat boy at the bar. She wasn’t supposed to fall in love, damnit. (3 chapters, 9,597 words) Girl meets world - Riley and Maya: - When the Stars Shoot Across the Sky by TruthandLies: Maya once found her safe place in a girl who loves the stars. When that girl gives her love to someone else, Maya is forced to find a new safe place. Along the way, she and her star-loving best friend discover important things about themselves - and each other. (one shot, 11,289 words) (just makes so much sense still) - drowning (in you) by truthandlies: Lucas has always been Riley’s excuse. Her head-cheerleader-dating-captain-of-the-football-team, straight-girl-in-love-with-straight-boy, normal-normal-normal excuse.Maya is her cataclysm. (one shot, 2184 words) - we only know this light deep in the woodwork by BerryliciousCheerio: “She thinks she could write a hundred thousand pages on it and barely scratch the surface.or: it takes a day and also her entire life for riley matthews to fall in love” (one shot, 8,334 words) juliantina - juliana and valentina - que quieres de mi by unsocial_kid:  Juliana is the stoic bodyguard assigned to protect the youngest Carvajal heir. Valentina is the bratty rich girl who can’t stop teasing her new bodyguard. (one shot, 2,543 words) Legacies - Hope and Josie (and Penelope) - From dusk till dawn by SilentRain91:  It started off as stolen moments when nobody was looking. Soon, it became their little secret. Josie never kept something this big from Lizzie before. (16 chapters, 35,144 words) - Soccer and Sunshine by  misa_pisa:  Josie is asked to join her school’s soccer team, by no other than the captain herself. Josie had always admired Hope from the far and now gets the chance to train right beside her. The two of them start to spend a lot of time together during private soccer lessons and math tutoring. In between looks, talks and jokes the feelings between them start to grow. (6 chapters, 11,523 words) - Have I lost my mind by Knight_of_darkness:  Josie has to question her sanity as she keeps seeing a strange girl in her dreams (2 chapters, 34,035 words)  -  Stealin’ My Heart by Thatoneloser_kid: “I’m leaving as soon as I turn eighteen,” Hope said.“Where?” Penelope asked.“No idea,”“Maybe we could all go,” Josie suggested offhandedly, reclining back on the blanket, both Penelope and Hope mirroring her, Hope hooking an arm behind her head.“Thelma and Louise this shit,” Penelope added with a little laugh.“Didn’t they die?” Hope asked.“Mm,” Penelope hummed, “Went out in a blaze of glory.”  (one shot, 12,931 words) - the infinite curse of a lonely heart by dandelionlighters:  For centuries, he had served as a winged assistant to Aphrodite, doing her bidding and sometimes—when she wasn’t looking—his own. He had been reaching for an arrow from his quiver when it had happened. He had felt a pull at the back of his head one second, and then he had disappeared from existence in the next moment. (2 chapters, 3,325 words) - the game by PosieParkzman:  Everyone knew of Hope and Penelope. Desired by many, heartbreakers by trade. Though not everyone knew that love to them was a game, a game they liked to play. With a new year the game resets and the hunt begins. What happens when they both desire the new girl in town, Josie Saltzman. (28 chapters, 47,079 words) - by summer’s ripening breath by slytherinmayflower: "This bud of love, by summer’s ripening breath, may prove a beauteous flower when next we meet” (9 chapters, 79,720 words) (I think I finished this in 2 days and I don’t regret any minute of it) - when I kissed the teacher by Little_Miss_Silver:  Josie's failing one of her classes. What happens when the reason she's failing ends up tutoring her? (2 chapters, 4,473 words) Supergirl - Kara and Lena - hope you’ll be safe (in the arms of another) by thistableforone:   Lena Luthor and Maura Isles went to boarding school together. They had a close relationship, and despite the years they find the chemistry is still there. The only difference is, they’re both in love with someone else now. (3 chapters, 13,112 words) - A Ribbon at a Time by abcooper:  After Lex Luthor defeated Superman, after the courts declared him innocent, after CADMUS rose to power, 16 year old Kara Danvers went into hiding. Five years later, a chance encounter with L-Corp CEO Lena Luthor throws her back into everything she’s been running from. (5 chapters, 27, 929 words) - If you don’t love me, pretend (just for a few more hours)… by Khrat9:  where Kara and Lena aren’t friends. One night stands… but like several night per month, sometime more. (5 chapters, 24,817 words) - “Professional” Curiosity by TheSpaminator:  Lena Luthor and Kara Danvers are the CEO’s of their own respective family owned companies. Their families are feuding. Their companies are feuding. So does that mean that by default, so are they? (6 chapters, 17,582 words) - here we are, two helping hands by falsealarm:  A chord of unease vibrates in the pit of Lena’s stomach as Kara sets the folder in front of her and says, “I need to talk to you about something important.” (one shot, 9,016 words) - Surprise Me by Thatoneloser_kid:  Kara is a Barista who is in a band and Lena is a CEO with a child and an ex-husband (one shot, 5,060 words) - the more it’s gone (the more it takes away) by cyclothimic:   A huge part of her was tempted to just leave National City to the wind and go around the globe. But deep down, she knew that if she abandoned the city, that would only piss Lena off more (one shot, 5,273 words) - in black ink my love may still shine bright by PandaPaladin:  On an awfully slow day at CatCo, Kara writes on her desk to complain about her work life to nobody in particular. When she comes back from a break, someone with messy, loopy penmanship writes back to her. (one shot, 11,412 words) (love it so much) - supergirl in training by wtfoctagon: Lena Luthor doesn’t plan to have any kids. Or to get married, even, really. After the revelation that she is actually of Luthor blood after all, she’s quite set on ending the family line with her and not taking the risk of any more drama.Then Lorelai L. Danvers crashes into her life, claiming to be her seventeen year old daughter from the future. (19 chapters, 71,381 words) (just take your time while reading it. It makes everything so much better) - take my hand, take my whole life too by pandapaladin:  “There’s a stone statue in Midvale. A beautiful lady with her hands on her hips, a confident smile on her lips, and every feature on her body looks like it was molded from the corners of space. Her chest has a wide, golden ‘S’ on it, and the locals like to affectionately call her Supergirl.” (one shot, 15,135 words) - now you’re speaking my language by pandapaladin: Lena, wanting to surprise her best friend, learns Kryptonian to make Kara feel at home.During a night out with Kara and her cousin, Lena overhears them speaking in Kryptonian— about how much Kara liked her. (one shot, 7,073 words) - we were mint to be by pandapaladin:  The door to the ice cream parlor jingled to signify the arrival of a new customer. Kara Danvers looked up from her cramped work area, wishing that there was a way she could catch the eye of a certain Luthor, who ordered a modest scoop of mint chocolate every Wednesday morning. (one shot, 17,221 words) - a spoken word is not a sparrow by pandapaladin: Linda agreed to help Kara confess her feelings to a certain friend. She’ll just confess Kara’s undying love for Lena, then they’ll switch out, and Kara will get the girl. It was as easy as baking pie.Except Lena doesn’t believe them. (one shot, 9,045 words) - I believe, you can get me through the night by jazzfordshire: Kara is a sexless housewife in 1969, feeling trapped with nowhere to go. But when mysterious, kind-hearted Lena Luthor moves in next door, hosting swinger’s parties but ignoring the men, Kara’s whole world shifts on its axis. (2 chapters, 21,206 words) - I keep my distance (but you still catch my eye) by jazzfordshire:  Lena and Alex, two strangers recovering from breakups, swap houses over the holidays for a spur-of-the-moment trip. Neither of them expected to find a holiday fling – but what happens on vacation, stays on vacation. Right? (2 chapters, 26,451 words) - love & collecting butterflies by somanyfeelings:  "a childhood au where Lena and Kara grow up near each other and are BFFS and they have pillow fights and hang out in Lena’s treehouse and carve their names into the tree and then as they grow up they go from BFFs to soulmates” (one shot, 3,860 words) - You to Me, Me to You by wtfoctagon:  When Kara sees a vase of flowers on Lena’s desk, she doesn’t get jealous per se– it’s just that she thinks that Lena deserves so much better than a measly, cliche bunch of roses. (one shot, 6,497 words) - we are what we pretend to be by C_AND_B:  After the unrestricted office access, and the flowers, and the surprise visits to Catco, everyone just kinda starts to assume Kara and Lena are dating, and maybe they should let them. (AKA, Lena and Kara really just date whilst pretending they’re fake dating). (one shot, 25,164 words) - Luthor Escort Services by uhpockuhlipz:  Kara needs a last minute date to her sister’s wedding. Luthor’s Escort Services is there to help, but Lena is nothing like what Kara was expecting (one shot, 4,315 words) - let’s make this a reality by spacemanearthgirl:  Or Kara goes back into the past one more time. A fix it of sorts for the last episode. (one shot, 940 words)(found it on tumblr) - Don’t Be A Cliché by BroodyJC:  “I am ashamed of all of you for not letting me know about this.” She crosses her arms in front of her chest, shakes her head. “It makes so much sense know.” And she smiles, as if she knows something the others don’t. “So, Kara, are you going to ask her to the game tomorrow?” (3 chapters, 28,240 words) (think I read this one 3 times already) -Sanctuary by SilentRain91:  Lena is curious about a new project her mother has been gushing about without sharing specific details. Wanting to find out more, she sneaks into the restricted area to see what the fuss is about. What she didn’t expect was to find a girl in a cage. (2 chapters, 5,367 words) - the coldest blood (runs through my veins) by AgentJoanneMills: “You know I’d kill for you, right?”Lena laughs, amused, even as her toes curl at the affection in Kara’s voice. “You kill people anyway,” she points out.“True,” Kara allows, “but I’d enjoy doing it more, if it were for you.” (one shot, 2,810 words) - i don’t wanna give you up (so what’s it gonna be?) by statisticallysignificant: it was practically high school code for the most popular girl to end up with the most popular boy at school, the nerdiest girl to end up with the dorkiest boy at school. thank god, the parties in question have different ideas.(3 chapters, 3,167 words) - Scripted Destiny by devschreibt:  On her 17th birthday, her destiny will reveal itself. On that day, the first words of her one true love would mark her skin forever. And when she finally gets the courage to actually see the writing, she cringes, because on her shoulder blade it says, “(mouthed) above us only sky.” Now what? (3 chapters, 18,795 words) - the heiress, the girl of steel, and the man who fell to earth by littlebrother:  Basically, what if Lena found Mon El's pod? (12 chapters, 66,388 words) (this is my favorite. Seriously it made me miss mon el) - The Fifth Wall by Black_Tea_and_Bones: Kara goes to bed with Mon-El, and wakes up with Lena Luthor.But it isn't Kara’s bed, and they’re not in Lena’s apartment, and that is definitely not their baby... Right? (28 chapters, 109,226 words) - For the Things We Lost in the Undergrowth by seabiscuit:  All Kara Danvers wants to do is go to college, solve the crime, get the girl, and secure her beat on the campus newspaper. Unfortunately for her, it doesn't all happen in that order. (6 chapters, 47,479 words) - A Foolish Wit by seabiscuit:  Lena Luthor needs a husband, Clark Danvers needs an easy resolution to his cash flow problem.Unfortunately, the best laid plans often go awry. (3 chapters, 27,890 words) dc’s legends of tomorrow - ava and sara - you make me smile (please stay for a while now) by CoffeeAndArrows and moonlitprincess: "Something about Ava's small smile, about the comforting warmth of her beside Sara, the familiarity of wandering to class together, the way she didn’t seem to look at Sara as though she expected anything, expecting a way of acting and being and reacting, as though Sara didn’t owe her anything. For the first time since she’d walked into school earlier that morning, Sara felt like she could breathe.Maybe, just maybe, this year wasn’t off to an entirely bad start." (35 chapters, 342,035 words) (read it in a month, while working and uni and it made life so much happier) - i just wanna spend the nights with you by moonlitprincess: college au where ava is only MILDLY crushing on campus heartthrob sara lance and can totally 100% be chill with a casual hookup ... until she realises sara has abs. (ft. our favourite ladies being useless gay disasters & plenty of unexpected feelings) (one shot, 8,963 words) - for reasons wretched and divine by Phoebmonster:  AU - Ava is a princess, and Sara is the bandit who's kidnapped her, and together they have an adventure that changes them both, and their world, forever - featuring the rest of the legends as the loveable rogues we know they are at heart. (6 chapters,  20,727 words) - the day before you came by Phoebmonster: "So, the brief is ..." She tapped her fingers on the wheel. "Make your Mom believe you're really gay and give you some peace and quiet next year."Ava nodded, and Sara grinned."Right, I can do that." She said, more to herself than anything.aka the 'i've hired you to pretend to be my partner to annoy my family at christmas but i think i'm really falling for you' AU that Absolutely no one asked for. (6 chapters, 13,566 words) -if only, if only (you were mine)  by Phoebmonster: high school au - ava and sara are paired together to look after a robot baby for their social studies classthey've never liked eachother, so a weekend in close proximity of eachother with a screaming baby can only end badly ... right? (one shot, 10,787 words) - inching close, closer to the edge by JourEtNuit: “But why do we have to pretend to be married?” Sara whines. “Can't we, I don't know, go as friends or cousins, or something. Oh, I know! She could be my secretary...”“It's a couples retreat, Miss Lance," Rip says, tiredly. (one shot, 5,381 words) - see me, feel me (love me) by lexa_lives_in_us:  Sara notices. Of course Sara notices. She’s a former assassin and a vigilante, a really good one at that, she has to be observant and aware of other people’s quirks, to get her job done. So, of course, she notices. It’s Ava who doesn’t notice how closely Sara has been paying attention to her. (one shot, 4,454 words) (i cried through the whole thing) - Not The Way You Plan by plinys:  In which Sara lies about dating a guy in a coma, and might accidentally be falling in love with his sister in the meantime. (one shot, 6,816 words) - painted me golden by lucylikestowrite:  Ava and Sara meet at Ava's sister's wedding. (one shot, 3,914 words) - sleepovers (in my bed) by izziebee: Sara and Ava are not friends. Okay, fine they are friends, but definitely nothing more than that.Or 5 times Ava and Sara sleep together (it's platonic of course) and 1 time they don’t. (6 chapters, 6,633 words) runaways - Karolina and Nico - like or like like by makeitmakesense:  But, she supposes, all great rivalries have some sort of wild origin story to explain the bitter air that surrounds them - what would make her and Nico’s any different? (3 chapters,  37,891 words) - and now she’s so devoid of color she don’t know what it means (and she’s blue) by abnormalhuman:  Nico Minoru hasn’t been able to see color for as long as she can remember. Needless to say, Nico has lost all hope of ever meeting her soulmate and getting to see the beautiful colors of the world again. The chances of ever meeting her soulmate and kissing them is slim to none. It’s a hard concept to grasp, but then again, a world of darkness is all she knows.  (one shot, 10,655 words) - maybe if I told you the right words at the right time (you’d be mine) by  somniatoressinespe: or “they go on a roadtrip and nico spends half the time staring at karolina” (one shot,16,173 words) - the 100 - abby griffin and raven reyes - On the Way Home by hummingbirdswords:  “we catch the same bus home and i always fall asleep, but you always wake me up at my stop” AU (one shot, 5,308 words) bonus - lena luthor and sara lance (yes it’s real) - Stumbling Toward Enlightenment by Selenay: Sara Lance is a yoga instructor. Lena Luthor is CEO of Luthor Industries.They're from different worlds, but they might just be exactly what each other needs. (one shot, 8,992 words) (best one, gays, best one)