#my faves🩷🩵

[via-viana]

Ohhh my god😵🤯, this cuteness should be illegal. Can't wait for the full name to be revealed😍😍😍

[via-viana]

Why did I just come across this story now 😭

This is truly a masterpiece😍, everyone should read this story🩷🩵

Entropy (k.ys)

synopsis: things never went according to plan; career wise, family wise, relationship wise and especially not when you were suddenly saddled with an infant to raise but you learned to roll with the punches. except the next challenge you were about to face wasn't a punch, it was a machine gun.

pairing: kang yeosang x reader

genre: mafia au, fluff, angst and smut

word count: 21.3k

taglist: @tohokuu @bangtanxberm

Kang Yeosang was going to kindergarten.

Now this wouldn’t be weird had it not been for the fact it was already time for the preschool to close. Or that he was 26 years old.

But still, Kang Yeosang, with his hair bleached blond and wearing tattered jeans and a pair of ratty sneakers made his way towards ‘Little Ducklings Preschool’ with his hands stuffed into his hoodie. With each step he took, his heart pounded so violently against his ribcage that he felt a little pathetic. I mean, what mafia member trembled like a leaf while walking towards a place filled with toddlers?

It wasn’t quite the slimy toddlers he was afraid of, but the woman who taught them, his darling mother.

Yeosang and his mother used to be really close growing up and she was the only one to support him when he said he wanted to pursue computer science as a major and eventually started a career path of becoming a hacker. However, they had a falling out 8 months ago when she found out that he wasn’t exactly a lawful one.

No, he worked with a mafia gang named Ateez as a hacker and IT specialist. To say his mother was not pleased would be an understatement. She threw him out of the house and refused to see him ever again, horrified that the son she raised had gone so off the right path no matter how much he tried to convince her that while some of it was unethical, he did some good too.

As a last resort, he tried to contact her using an encrypted thread of messages, but she ignored them. He was hurt, but still respected that this drift was a cause of his own actions. He knew she wouldn’t have supported it but agreed to do it anyway and now he had to deal with the fallout.

They went months without any contact until one day he received a message on the thread he had forgotten about a long while ago from his mother, asking him to meet her today and that was exactly why he was headed to her preschool.

The school was quaint and tiny like he expected, the ceilings were low enough for him to touch and the stairs were short enough to make sure toddlers with their tiny and clumsy legs wouldn’t fall easily. Everything was painted so brightly, with characters and cartoons drawn on the side of the walls and even the floor.

He reached the school just as it was letting out; parents were holding the hands of their happy mini humans that skipped beside him. He was used to this of course; his mother had been a teacher all his life, so it wasn’t rare that he showed up to her kindergarten just as school was ending. However, it did seem to alarm him that most of the parents looked closer to his age. Oh god, was he already that old? Were other people his age already having kids?

His mother was standing at the exit of her classroom, waving goodbye to the children, and having short conversations with their parents. As he approached her and peeked through the classroom, he noticed only one girl was left and she was calmly drawing on a piece of paper that she was given to keep occupied until she got picked up.

His mother had missed him, he could see it in her eyes and felt it in the way her hug had lingered for just moment longer, but she still resisted making a big deal about it.

“I was actually surprised that you asked to see me, mom.” He admitted and then watched her bashfully stare into the classroom, keeping an eye on her last remaining student before she steeled her expression and looked back at him.

“I still don’t support the choices you’ve made, Yeosang.” She was cutting right to business, “But you said that you could do good, and I want to believe you. That’s why I called you here today. I need some help.”

Yeosang’s brows pinched together, what could his mother possibly want from him?

“Mom, did you involve yourself in my work?” Realizing what he was insinuating, his mother rolled her eyes, offended that he would even entertain an absolutely absurd thought such as that.

“Not me, one of parents here. She’s in a bit of a situation and I told her that you might be able to help. I’m hoping you will be.”

He immediately wanted to say no. When it came to cases like this, they either wanted money or owed someone else money. It was never a good idea to get involved but this was the first time in 8 months that his mother asked to see him, willing to look past his choices in life if he could just help this one parent and he wanted to at least find out what she needed his help was.

“Mrs. Kang!” You interrupted, rushing up to the door while looking at your watch. You grimaced when you realized you were already 25 minutes late. However, she didn’t look peeved at all, instead smiled at you kindly as you approached her with an apologetic look on your face.

“Trouble getting away from work?”

You sighed, pushing away the strands of hair that managed to fall out from your ponytail in your hurry to get there, “An absolute mess. Some idiot left the fume box open and there was a huge contamination thing and even though we went through the proper procedures, my asshole supervisor—”

It seemed like you finally realized there was another person standing beside you, “I’m interrupting something. I’m really sorry, Mrs. Kang.”

“Don’t worry about it, dearie. This is Yeosang, my son.” She smiled, gesturing to the man standing beside her and your eyes widened, remembering the conversation you had with her a couple of days ago. When she said her son could help you, you didn’t think she was being serious.

“Sol-ah, your aunt is here to pick you up.” She called and you glanced into the classroom to see your niece look up from the paper she was drawing on. She was the only one left in the classroom and your heart squeezed in your chest with guilt for leaving her alone for so long. Her face lit up when she saw you waiting by the door and she quickly gathered up her things, leaving the crayons strewn about on the table as she ran up to you.

You smiled widely, crouching to her level, and gently cupping her cheek, “Sol-ah, you should clean up after yourself.” You scolded softly, gesturing to the items she left messily on the table and even though you could see she knew what she did was wrong, she didn’t want to leave your side for a while longer. She never admitted it, but you could tell she had a little fear of abandonment that festered when she was away from you for a long time.

“Oh, don’t worry about that, I’ll clean it up.”

“I don’t want to give you more work. You already looked after her for so long.” To be honest, you were still grasping at straws when it came to this whole parenting thing but so far, you were making it work and for now that had to be enough.

“Oh hush, you work hard too. I’ll handle this, you should get home.” You wouldn’t be heading home until tonight. You’d be bringing Sol to your workplace, leaving her in the day-care beside it even though she always cried and screamed, not wanting to be left alone again for the second time in the day. Even though it practically ripped your heart apart to see her face wet with tears, your work demanded you to be in the lab the entire day and it wasn’t safe to bring a child there.

While you were looking for other job opportunities, working at your current job was paying the bills, putting a roof over your head, and letting you live relatively comfortably for the time being and you couldn’t give it up no matter how much you wanted to.

You took Sol’s bag from her, kissing her cheek and like clockwork, she returned a sloppy one on yours, wrapping her tiny arms around your neck before you both held hands and walked away from the classroom. Yeosang just stood there beside his own mother, feeling a little out of place before she smacked his arm lightly and motioned him to follow you, which he did but not before kissing her cheek goodbye.

You didn’t even realize that Yeosang was following you until you got to your car, and he tapped on your shoulder. You acknowledged him with a polite nod of your head before looking back at your niece and opening the car door.

Once you were sure she was sitting comfortably in the car seat and buckled her in, you switched on the car and played the soundtrack to frozen to keep her occupied, “Sol-ah, auntie needs to talk to her friend for a minute. Are you okay with waiting until we’re done?”

She looked a little concerned for a moment before you reassured her that you’d be right outside the car and then timidly nodded, glancing at Yeosang before looking at her lap. You gently shut the door, glancing at her as she rocked her legs to the rhythm and smiled softly.

“Sorry about that. Thank you for coming here, your mother is really kind for calling you, but you don’t really have to do anything. I’ll tell her that you couldn’t really do anything to help me.”

He raised a brow, “How about you tell me what you need help with so I can make that judgement for myself?”

You seemed unsure and he could tell by the way your hands tightened around the strap of your purse before you glanced back at Sol sitting in the backseat, giddily singing along to ‘Do You Wanna Build A Snowman’ and sighed.

“It’s kind of a long story.” You admitted, glancing up at him but his stance was steady, not representing any rush to get away quickly and like this was all just one big formality.

He glanced at the girl sitting inside the car that seemed content with just listening to the songs from her favourite movies. Even though you made sure it wasn’t playing too loudly, the car was still vibrating lightly from the beats of the songs.

“She doesn’t look like she’s in a rush.”

You chuckled and nodded, “Well, first off, I’m (Y/N) (L/N) and that’s Sol, my niece. She’s my sister’s daughter. My sister and I were close growing up but when I turned twenty, she kind of went MIA. She rarely visited and barely ever called or texted. About 2 years ago, one night, she showed up at my apartment. She was a little frantic…...”

Frantic could be considered an understatement when she showed up at your house at in the middle of the night with a large bundle of blankets cradled in her arms. Her eyes were bloodshot, and her face was pale and sunken like she hadn’t eaten in months.

“Listen I don’t have a lot of time to explain but you’re the only one I could trust.” She rambled, stepping into your apartment and even though you tried to sit her down and get her to explain, she was in shambles and couldn’t even get her thoughts straightened out enough to explain her situation.

She shoved the blankets into your arms and your eyes widened when you realized that within the cloth lay a baby girl that remained fast asleep even though she was being jostled around. She threw a bag on the couch, and you noticed a birth certificate belonging to the baby among other things inside it.

“Her name is Sol and she’s my daughter.” Your head snapped towards her in shock, but she didn’t look fazed, only staring at you back with determination, “I need you to take care of her. Please.”

“I don’t understand what you’re saying.” You frantically said, anxiety building up from the way she was pacing and suddenly saying all these things that you couldn’t comprehend.

“Her father is a horrible person. A mafia boss. And he’s looking for her and I. I’m going far away, but I need to keep her safe. Don’t contact the police, don’t look for me, and please just look after her and keep her far away from her father. I beg you.”

That was all she said before she ran out the door and slammed it behind her. You hesitated for a second, mind short circuiting from all the information you received in the last few minutes before you thought to run after her.

Unfortunately, the baby chose that minute to wake up, screaming her lungs out from being woken up and you were left trying to calm her down. She was inconsolable, wailing loudly as her face slowly turned red from the amount of screaming and now overwhelmed and flustered, you couldn’t help the frustrated tears that began running down your cheeks as you wept beside her.

“…I tried looking for her without notifying the police but it’s like she dropped off the map and no one has seen or heard from her.” You explained.

“You know that if she’s gone off the grid for 2 years after running away from the mafia, there’s a huge chance she’s—”

“Dead?” You prompted when he trailed off, not wanting to upset you, “I’m coming to terms with that. But that isn’t the problem.”

“Then what is?” Yeosang asked.

“Her father is looking for her. There have been people poking around my workplace and apartment, asking around about my sister. I’m scared that once he finds out that I have Sol, he’s going to take her. And I can’t let Sol go to him, I just can’t. But I don’t know what to do, or to whom to go.” You explained, suddenly feeling anxious about the whole thing. Saying it aloud now was staring to make everything feel real, even though you were trying to avoid it.

So far, you were content living in the imaginary safe world that you set up for Sol, so she didn’t have to live in fear of a scary man finding her and taking her away from her auntie, but it seemed like you were also starting to believe your own act.

“Do you know who he is? Or what gang he’s from?”

You shook your head, frowning, “She didn’t tell me anything. Listen, Yeosang, I know I’m asking for a lot, and you have no reason to help me but I’m really in trouble here and your mother tells me that you can help. I’m ready to do anything to repay you, can you please just consider helping me out?”

When it came to Sol, you weren’t beneath grovelling. In the 2 years that you spent raising her, you had come to value her above anything and everything else in your life and even the thought of her being in danger could have you selling your soul to anyone that could keep her safe.

Yeosang looked at you while you were staring at your shoes while clutching the door handle of the car tightly, but he still noticed the way your fingers slightly shook from the grip. You were bearing your soul to him during your first meeting, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little overwhelmed by it.

“I’ll look into it.” He said, suddenly remembering how his mother had clasped his hand so tightly and requested him to help you. He didn’t want to disappoint her again.

You breathed a sigh of relief, smiling widely as you fished through your purse and grabbed a business card to hand to him, “That’s my phone number, in case you want to contact me.”

Luckily, the soundtrack seemed to finish at that moment and Sol was lightly tapping on the window with her tiny fist, “Auntie!”

You spared one last smile at Yeosang, asking him if he wanted a ride anywhere which he declined before getting into your car and pulling out of the parking space. He watched you drive away, pulling out his phone to write down your license plate number before deciding to take his leave.

He chuckled when he noticed the little girl staring at him from the window just as you drove away from the preschool.

***

Your life was all about adapting to change. Like when you were 22 and fresh out of college and you got employed by a chemical company, you had to change your inspiration and interest in the field when you realized that your job did not in fact include blowing up things in chemical explosions.

You grew up attached to the hip with your sister and close to your family but since your parents’ retirement when they moved to the countryside and your sister cutting off contact, you had to learn to rely on yourself when it came to day-to-day things.

And then, the most important of all, when Sol came into your life, you had to change everything. Your bedroom became Sol’s as soon as she was old enough to have her own and you were stuck using the pull-out couch. You had to prepare all your meals in advance and in bulk so after a long day of work, you could immediately give her dinner, give her a bath, and then put her to sleep before tending to yourself.

You had to wake up earlier so you could get her ready and then drop her off at kindergarten. Your lunch breaks were spent driving her to day-care after kindergarten let up before shovelling down a peanut butter and jelly sandwich you made yourself and Sol for lunch. Pay checks were put into the bank for the future and her school fund and whatever you managed to save for spending were all to take her to the newest Disney movie or a children’s fair.

And finally, the most important change that happened was in your work ethic. Usually, you were on top of your work, finishing on-sight work and immediately filling out the report that very day. However, now you let weeks of reports build up and punch the clock in the lab. Then when the time finally came to submit them, you would inform your supervisor that you’d be working from home to finish them.

Sol would miss a day of preschool as well and you’d spend the entire day together, with you working on the reports before she woke up and after she slept and during any time in between.

It wasn’t the best situation, you’d admit. But every night when you tucked her in and turned off the light, you’d feel reenergised just watching her peaceful face as she cuddled her penguin plushie. Yes, your muscles were screaming and yes, your stomach had been grumbling for so long that it eventually gave up, but it was so worth it to see her grow up.

When you first met Sol as a two-year-old, she had an unattractive choppy bob, was wobbly on her feet, cried loudly and constantly. It took weeks for her to stop crying for her mother and get used to the fact that you’d be consoling her now when she woke up in the middle of the night and that it’d be you who fed her. It wasn’t like you were the only one who had challenges, no, the trauma of her mother leaving her stuck with her even as she grew up.

You didn’t know why though; you had talked to her paediatrician about it, but she said that it wasn’t your fault. You loved her enough to compensate for her mother and took care of her exceptionally but her sudden severance of her first relationship had understandably made a mark on the way she made relationships in the future.

You could tell; she was attached and feared strangers. She never let you leave without telling her how long you’d be gone and where you were going. Hence the reason you stopped going for drinks with your friends after long days of work. Instead, you met them for lunch while Sol tagged along.

Sol wasn’t very demanding, that you were thankful for. She didn’t need constant attention and rarely felt neglected when you weren’t paying attention to her. For her, it was enough that you were in the house with her, and she was laying in your lap while she watched a movie on the TV, and you typed noisily on your computer.

Today was such a day, your adorable niece was watching ‘Tangled’ while she happily munched on the fried rice with sausage that you had cooked up for lunch. You took your eyes off the screen only for a few seconds to make sure she was eating her vegetables along with her lunch and not just pushing it to the side.

Sol clumsily sang along to the songs, and you chuckled. A lot of those snooty mothers at her preschool turned their noses at you because you let her watch so much TV, but she was the only 4-year-old in her class that knew big words and developed skills for understanding the meaning of words from context just because she heard it in her favourite movies.

Considering you had no friends and Sol didn’t have any friends that could drive over here, you were alarmed when the doorbell rang. Sol on the other hand, who only ever heard the doorbell when you ordered takeout, looked excited.

When you opened the door, Mrs. Kang’s son was standing there with a blank expression and lingering slightly awkwardly in the hallway.

“Hey! You! You’re at my house! And I don’t remember giving you my address?” You rambled, not opening the door too much and he nodded, the image of cool even though you were slightly freaked out.

“You don’t remember my name, do you?”

It’s true; you had absolutely no idea. Which actually made you feel kind of pathetic considering you knew all the names of the Winx Club fairies, their elemental powers, and the magical land they came from. And yet you couldn’t remember the name of the guy who could likely help keep your niece safe.

“Sang…Yeob?”

“That’s an actor.”

“Still doesn’t explain how you’re here.”

“I hacked into the kindergarten’s database and found your home address.” He replied, acting like that was completely normal which slightly concerned you, “Don’t worry, it wasn’t difficult. Kindergartens don’t really have a firewall.”

“Yes, because that’s what I was concerned about.”

Now that you were saying it, you were kind of concerned about it. Maybe Sol should transfer? Before you even realized you were already spiralling, and you held the door almost close to turn around and spare a glance at Sol who was very calmly eating her lunch.

“Listen, I’ve got some information about the guy you’re trying to find. May I come in?” You almost thought of saying no and closing the door in his face but then you remembered how Mrs. Kang told you that her son ‘knew his way around computers’.

“Uh, sure.” Cautiously, you let him in and lead him towards the dining table. He had a bag along with him that he opened as soon as he sat down. You hovered a little awkwardly by the door and Sol seemed to notice the presence of someone new in the house.

She quickly paused the movie and padded over to you and hid behind your legs to peek at Yeosang who grabbed a thin laptop from the bag. She looked up at you with wide eyes before mouthing ‘Who’s that?’

You didn’t want to alarm her and say it was just a stranger and make her feel a little insecure with an outsider in her home, but you also didn’t want her to feel so comfortable with him that her judgment may be impaired if they ever met without your supervision.

“Uh, this is auntie’s friend, Yeosang.” You whispered, crouching down so she wouldn’t be looking up at you. She nodded contemplatively and looked back at him who continued to pretend like he couldn’t hear you talking about and staring at him. Children weren’t really the experts in subtlety.

“Like Mi-nah?” She whispered back, trying awfully hard to keep her voice low but he definitely heard her, considering the way the corner of his mouth crooked up in amusement. Mi-nah was her “best” friend at kindergarten who took Sol’s blue play-doh without asking and you didn’t like her, but you assumed you couldn’t do much about it.

You wiped away a grain of rice stuck to the corner of her mouth and nodded. Satisfied with your explanation, she went back to the coffee table in front of the television and continued to eat. You made a mental note not to let her watch TV while eating dinner because she was taking too long to finish.

When you stepped beside the dining table to see what Yeosang wanted to show you, you were reminded of the burning of your stomach in hunger. The pot on the kitchen counter with the remaining fried rice called your attention and you smiled a little shyly at the man sitting at the table.

“Do you want some lunch?”

And that’s how you both ended up eating fried rice and sausage from plastic bowls themed with the Bare Bears (Yeosang with Ice, You with Panda and Sol with Grizzly) while he discussed his plans with you. He unintentionally laughed when he realized that you cut the sausages to resemble octopi with little sesame seed eyes. But both you and Sol agreed that they tasted better when they were cut that way.

“Alright so I don’t really have much because you haven’t really given me a place to start. I need all the information about your sister and whoever this father is.” He said and you nodded, grabbing your laptop from the living room, only sparing a few seconds to chastise Sol for not finishing her lunch still and telling her that it better be finished before the movie gets over.

“I found out that the hospital that my sister had gone to during the first few months of her pregnancy was different to the one she went to from around her third trimester to when she gave birth.” You informed, recalling the time you had done your own investigation shortly after Sol was put in your care.

You found out the hospital she was born in from her birth certificate and upon asking them about your sister, they pointed you to her first hospital from where her files were transferred. The first hospital told you that she came there for monthly check-ups and ultrasounds with the father of the baby until one day she stopped showing up and a request for her file came from another hospital.

“She used to show up there with the father but since it was way before the birth, his name wasn’t logged on. Or maybe he requested for it not to get registered. Something must have happened during her pregnancy that drove them apart for her to transfer hospitals and show up alone. Then Sol is born, and my sister goes on the run for the next year, give or take before finally giving her to me.”

You made sure to keep your voice lower than the sound of Rapunzel and Eugene singing ‘I See The Light’ in the living room so that Sol wouldn’t get curious as to why you were talking about her and then not leave you alone.

You had your sister’s legal name but just the name and nothing else makes a person difficult to track so you scoured through whatever files you had compiled during your own search of your sister that came up short. You gave Yeosang the frame of time that Sol was given to you as well as your sisters social security number.

When he pulled up the servers for all the airports in the city and then something that looked similar to the source code, with countless lines of numbers and letters you couldn’t understand with a bunch of random symbols in the middle and all in the classic ‘hacker’ style font.

“I don’t know how I feel about you hacking into government servers.” You admitted, feeling nervous about all of this. He was going to do something very illegal and in your house. Wouldn’t the authorities be able to track you from your IP address or Wi-Fi or something like that?

“Don’t worry, I already hacked into them years ago and set up a backdoor for me to enter without alerting anybody and do as I please. They check the codes every once in a while, for maintenance, but I set up a polymorphic code to change its location and make it blend in so it’s undetected during checks. Pretty smart right?”

You ignored the fact that you didn’t understand a word he said and just nodded, sheepishly muttering a few words in agreement before you voiced your concerns to him once again.

“Just think of it as a library. All I’m coming in to do is read the information. I’m not doing anything to the books, just reading them.”

“If that was the case then it’d be available to everyone.” You replied curtly. You recalled a chapter from one of the many parenting books that were on your bookshelf about teaching your kids right from wrong and when to show leniency; you made a mental note to research how to deal with situations when the ends justify the means with Sol.

“Yes, but that’s the reason you haven’t found anything in two years. Now do you want my help or not?”

You sighed in defeat and nodded. He quickly opened up the database of all of the airports from the past 2 years of travel and then used a programme to filter all the saved results and find anything that might resemble your sister.

Nothing came up around the time that she left, meaning that if she had left the country then she hadn’t used a plane to leave from here. That made your heart sink; even though you definitely hadn’t kept your hopes up, you did kind of pray that Yeosang would be the key to all your problems.

He changed the frame of time to 5 years and ran the programme again.

This time a couple results came up.

During the time your sister would have been pregnant with Sol, she travelled somewhere and then came back right before Sol was born. Meaning that if she hadn’t travelled alone, her companion was most likely the father. Luckily, the flight information was still saved and Yeosang opened the passenger list from the same plane and extracted the passenger information from it. He eliminated any ineligible candidates and then showed the compiled list of people that could have been the father.

“I’ll do a background check on them after I head home.” He said, beginning to pack up his stuff.

“Why can’t you do it right now?”

“You’re sweating buckets because I hacked the airport, and I don’t want to know what’s going to happen when I hack a police database.”

So that’s what was running down your back.

Finally, you stopped hearing the TV in the background and Sol padded into the kitchen with her thankfully empty bowl and placed it by the sink. You really weren’t in the mood for her to have a fit when you forced her to eat her vegetables and then give you the silent treatment until you promised her dessert and then watched ‘Tangled’. Again.

She tiptoed at the table, peering up at Yeosang’s face with an inquisitive look and you knew what was going to come after. Damn, children are so difficult to work with; do you shut her down now and hinder her curious nature for the sake of social cues or do you let her be a little quirky and ask questions?

“How old are you?” She asked, innocently.

“26.” Yeosang answered simply and even though it was pretty normal, she gasped at his answer and her eyes began twinkling, startling him just a little bit, “Wow, you’re so big!”

You laughed under your breath and a smile grew on your face at his expression which was a mix between amused and befuddled. That was something that adults couldn’t quite understand about children, and you had been caught off guard by her questions many times before. Children were smart enough to know when things were different to what they knew and how to ask questions about it, it was just that they were a little inexperienced when it came to obvious answers.

“Did you finish school?” She squeaked out, staring up at him with wide eyes and an excited smile.

Yeosang thankfully took her questions in stride and just laughed good-naturedly before nodding. Though you could see that he was still a little uncomfortable.

“Can you sit in the front seat of the car?!”

He smirked and booped her nose with a finger, “I can even drive one.”

She gasped and scampered over to your side, patting your thighs excitedly, “Auntie, he’s so cool!”

You smiled at her and nodded, patting her head gently, “You wanna know something? He’s actually Mrs. Kang son.”

Sol gasped and looked at Yeosang for confirmation, who just nodded. Then her face scrunched up in confusion and a pout formed on her face, “I thought childrens have to be small?”

“Well, they’re small at the start but then after a few years they become big like Yeosang and I. You’ll become a big girl one day too.” You explained and you noticed Yeosang beginning to take his bag to leave. He felt a little out of place, which was understandable, so you cut your explanation short and promised to talk about this again over dinner before you led him to the front door.

“Thanks for everything today.” You murmured, opening the door for him and he shook his head, “Do you want me to come over after I get the results or just call you?”

“Depends, my schedule is pretty full. If you find out when I’m busy, then I’d prefer just an email so I can look it over after work.”

Sol lingered by your legs, letting the two of you talk without her interrupting but you could tell from the way she began shuffling from one foot to another that she was getting impatient. She was getting a little groggy, you realized that you’d have to put her down for a nap and mentally prepared yourself for the fight she was going to put up.

“You work a lot, don’t you?”

“Yeah, things in my life continue to be a little unexpected so I figure saving money for a rainy day would be good.” You explained, being incredibly careful not to mention anything that would make Sol think you’re talking about her.

He nodded empathetically and it was weird how much relief his understanding brought you. It was difficult to find someone in the same boat you were, considering your circles in your career and how you didn’t have time outside it for anyone else other than Sol. So, someone who understood that you were doing the best you could muster was something you really craved for.

Of course, Sol was worth it, but it didn’t hurt to hear once in a while. Even though he didn’t actually say it.

“I’ll be going.” He said and suddenly Sol piped up like she had been rehearsing her line for a while, “Bye!”

He spared her a kind smile, “Bye, Sol.”

Her cheeks turned red, and you shut the door after nodding at Yeosang. She was smiling shyly at her shoes, and you weren’t sure whether you were entertained or deeply disturbed by how she was suddenly taken by Yeosang. You had a crush on Robert Downy Junior when you were kid, it wasn’t weird. Except it was.

Guess you knew what you’d be researching on several parenting blogs after you finished your work.

Yeosang was still standing outside the door when he heard you call out “Sol-ah, nap time.”

A smile grew on his face before he realized it when it was followed by a loud whine, “But I don’t wanna!”

***

Yeosang had certainly gotten more comfortable with you since you had last met him. Even though you told him you had a pretty busy schedule, he usually showed up after Sol was asleep so you both could talk in privacy. So far, the search had been going pretty well, considering before you met him, you were absolutely clueless.

You were simply happy that it was going somewhere.

Out of the men that were with your sister on the plane, a couple of them had priors but not one of them had anything extremely incriminating that would make it obvious. So, he was resorting to finding other means to track down what your sister had been doing a couple of years before she got pregnant.

It was another late night for the both of you. You were drinking tea and trying to catch up on all the unopened mails and paying any due bills. Yeosang was pretending to enjoy the tea you made him while trying to track down any credit or debit cards your sister might have registered under her name.

Around one-thirty in the middle of the night, a doorbell rang, and you shared a glance with Yeosang.

“I’m not expecting anybody.” You whispered, feeling something similar to dread and panic fill in your stomach when you noticed the alarmed expression on his face. Whoever was behind the door began knocking incessantly, bordering on bangs that made the hinges shake.

“Stay with Sol.” He whispered to you before reaching behind his back to pull out a gun. Your eyes widened, “Why do you have a gun?!”

“Do you really want to know?” He replied in a harsh whisper, and you glared at him, “Have you been bringing a gun into my house while my niece is here?”

“Do you want to continue arguing about this or do you want me to answer the door?”

The barrage of knocks on your front door had weirdly tuned out when you were having a whispered fight with Yeosang. Now it seemed like it got louder, matching the harsh rhythm of your heart and you nodded before getting up and hurrying to Sol’s room. You locked the door behind you, cowering by her bed and making sure she hadn’t stirred.

It was like a horror movie began playing out in your own apartment. The door even emitted an eerie squeal when Yeosang finally opened it and you heard a couple bangs and thuds like they were fighting. You flinched at every sound, finding whatever comfort you could in the sight of Sol sleeping peacefully, relieved that she hadn’t woken up. No doubt, she’d be in tears and frightened if she saw how anxious you were.

Then it was silent.

A soft knock came at Sol’s door and your stomach churned, “(Y/N), open up.”

You sighed in relief at Yeosang’s voice, rushing to unlock the door and meet his eyes. His hair and clothes were a little messed up and his gun was still in his hands, but it was his expression that scared you; it was steely and cold with a touch of alarm. Usually, he was hard to read, keeping his expression stoic but you had gotten the hang of sensing his emotions in the few times of meeting him.

He was usually calm with a touched amused and you had yet to see such an expression from him and now that you have, you realized that something had gone very, very wrong.

“Get Sol. We need to get out of here, now.”

A thousand questions were rushing through your head. Who was at the door? What had happened to him? Why did you have to leave? Where would you go? But you kept your lips sealed, rushing to Sol’s side, and bundling in her blankets, pulling her into your arms.

She woke up now that you were carrying her, looking up at you groggily, “Auntie? What’s happening?”

“We’re going on a little trip, Sol-ah.” You told her, forcing a smile on your face to keep from scaring her, “Go back to sleep, baby. I’ll wake you up when we’re there.”

“Where are we going?” She asked, slowly beginning to fall back asleep as you rocked her gently, “I dunno. Yeosang is taking us somewhere. Go to sleep now.”

You handed her to Yeosang that was standing in the doorway of her bedroom. He was startled for a second, holding her tightly against his chest on instinct and you rushed through the apartment getting your hands on whatever you could and stuffing it into any bag you could find.

Sol’s favourite plushie and a few of her clothes, all your passports and such, grabbing a pair of shoes for her before you slipped on your own and grabbed your car keys. When you rushed out of the apartment, you took a moment to glance over the railing in the corridor and your stomach hollowed out when you saw the silhouette of what looked like a body on the ground floor.

Still, you didn’t ask Yeosang about it, not wanting to know and just led the way down to the parking garage.

You sat quietly in the front seat while Yeosang drove to wherever he was taking the two of you. Sol was buckled up in her car-seat, her blanket snug around her and you stole a glance of her before looking out the window and staring at the lamp posts that passed the car.

Yeosang called someone while you just tried to wrap your head around everything that had just happened.

“Hey, Mingi. I have a—” He spared a glance at your shaking form in the passenger seat and chose to speak very carefully, “Situation that I need you to take care of. I’ll send you the address. Try and get it done in the next hour. Yeah, thanks.”

When he set down the phone in the cupholder, he noticed the way silent tears were slowly dripping down your cheeks. You were cupping your mouth shut, trying to get yourself to calm down but you couldn’t help but cry. This helplessness, this feeling of not knowing what was coming next; it was the exact same thing you had felt when Sol was dropped off in your apartment all those years ago.

You had done everything in your power to keep from ever feeling like that again. You read a hundred parenting books, you made sure to keep Sol comfortable enough with you so that she grew up with a healthy relationship with her caretaker and you had spent every waking moment thinking about what was best for her so much that it border lined on obsession.

Because it was these moments that made you wonder why you were doing this in the first place? Why were you letting yourself go through something so terrible and taxing and putting yourself through so much grief for something you never even asked for? You never asked for this, you never asked for all these hardships to come into your life, it was just given to you.

And it would be so easy to just give them up.

These were the horrible, disgusting thoughts that often invaded your mind when you found things to be difficult. That it would be so easy to just take a step away from this chaos and then never come back. It would be so easy to just do the bad thing.

So, overwrought with guilt and something dark inside you, you cried silently in the seat beside Yeosang, trying so hard to keep it together and not jump out of the moving vehicle that instant.

Yeosang sighed and pulled up to a drive-thru in McDonalds, ignoring the surprised look you sent him when he lowered down the window.

“Can I have like a shit ton of nuggets, fries, all the sauces you have, two hot chocolates and whatever sweet cake or donut thing you have? Oh, and please give us a lot of napkins.”

He then turned back to you, “There’s no easy way to say this—” You held your breath, “But I really don’t like how you make your tea.”

Yeosang didn’t really get to appreciate how hilarious you looked when the incredulous laugh left your mouth, face red and blotchy from the crying with sunken eyes that seemed to sparkle because of the tears that were held in them.

***

Yeosang had taken you back to his friend’s home. He lived in an apartment not too far from it, but he thought keeping the two of you in the Hongjoong’s home would have been safer. You had arrived at around 3 a.m. after Yeosang had explained what was going to happen from this point on in the parking lot of a McDonalds while you ate chicken nuggets.

He had been surprisingly responsible and ready to take you and Sol in. You don’t remember ever being able to rely on someone in the last 2 years. Hell, some of your co-workers were unable and incompetent when it came to their own jobs, so you had been bearing the brunt of work independently for a long while.

But now, Yeosang was starting to become a supporting figure in your life, and you were trying so hard not to rely on him completely because you knew that one day the rug would be pulled out from under your feet, and you would end up just as unprepared and burdened as you were the first time when your sister had dumped Sol on you in the first place.

You didn’t want to take that chance.

For the moment, you were going to stay in Yeosang’s assigned room in Hongjoong’s house where he sometimes stayed over. It was a pretty empty and minimalistic room aside from the arrangement of computers in the corner and the extendable desk that extended till the bed so he could quite literally work until he fell asleep.

He woke the two of you up bright and early, well it was early for you but since Yoon-ah had a good night’s rest, she wasn’t nearly as tired as you were. You wanted to sleep in, emotionally exhausted and extremely dehydrated from all the crying you did last night but Yeosang didn’t let you, going as far as to yank you in a sitting position and force feeding you a cup of coffee while Sol cheered for you to wake up.

It wasn’t until after you washed up (where Sol threw a tantrum about brushing her teeth because the toothbrush that Yeosang bought from the convenience store wasn’t the same as her own with the Disney princesses on it) that he told you that he was going to introduce you to his friends. You had quickly understood that his friends did the same kind of work as him.

“Are you sure Sol should be meeting them?” You fretted as he showed you around the entire mansion. This place was so unnecessarily big that you couldn’t even imagine ever being able to find your way around. Luckily, the bathroom and kitchen were not too far from it so hopefully, you’d never have to venture any place else without Yeosang.

“They’re not scary people, (Y/N). And besides, this is more for Sol anyway. She should know their faces at least in case they would ever need to pick her up.” He told you, leading you back to the main room that was beside his own.

“Why would they ever have to pick her up without me?” You asked pointedly, widening your eyes at him at his implication. He didn’t reply and you sighed, making sure that Sol wasn’t wandering around and getting distracted by the other rooms.

When you entered the room to find nine new faces staring at you, Sol ducked behind your back, clinging onto your coat. It was no surprise that she would react like this, she was very timid and reserved when it came to people her own age but being in a room with so many people that she didn’t recognize that were way bigger than her made her feel scared.

“This is (Y/N) and her niece, Sol.” Yeosang introduced, and you tried your best to give them a smile, bowing your head at them. You had already met Hongjoong last night when you entered his home. He, along with his wife, had seen you with bloodshot eyes and a runny nose after sitting outside the car in the cold and crying for nearly an hour.

The hacker introduced them all by name to you and you had to admit that he was right. You were expecting giant men with huge scars and face tattoos and machine guns and leather jackets but if you hadn’t known any better, they just looked like random dudes. The beanpole, who was named Yunho, was even wearing a fluffy lavender sweater and you were reeling at just how normal they looked.

You heard your phone ring in the other room and realized it was probably your boss who was calling to find out just what emergency had you using all of your vacation days without any notice. You gave the rest of them an apologetic smile before excusing yourself.

Sol, who had been hiding behind your back, had now been exposed to the rest of them and upon realizing that they were all looking at her, scrambled behind Yeosang’s legs, wrapping her arms tightly around his thigh and smushing her face against his jeans.

He chuckled awkwardly, shooting a glare at Mingi and Wooyoung who gave him teasing grins before looking down at the girl who seemed close to tears. It was the first time you had left him alone with her, no doubt you were still out of it, considering everything that happened in the past few days.

He gently pulled her away from his leg before kneeling to look her in the eye with a tender smile, “You want to meet my friends? They’re nice, I promise.”

She looked uncertain, holding onto the front of his shirt in tiny fists as she glanced back at the rest of them. They all gave her the warmest smiles they could muster but she still looked a little frightened.

Yeosang gently patted her head, “It’s okay. I’ll be here the whole time.”

With that reassurance, she silently nodded, holding his hand tightly as he led her to the rest of them.

***

“His name’s Logan Nam.” Yeosang informed you, turning the computer to show you the screen. A picture of a man who couldn’t be more than 5 years older than you stared back. At first glance, he looked put together, with his hair slicked back neatly and his clothes were crisp and clean. He looked more like a rich, mysterious CEO type character that you would see in a drama.

But something insidious was hidden in his dark eyes that made your skin crawl as you felt like he could somehow see you through the screen.

“The guy that came by your apartment was a criminal for hire. I got his phone and most of the communication was deleted aside from a significant amount deposited to his bank account before it happened.” He told you, passing the phone so you could look over the text message. You kept your hands tucked underneath your thighs, not willing to touch something that was most likely stolen from the pockets of a dead man.

The memory of his cold body at the bottom of the balcony had your food creeping up your throat, leaving a sick burn of acid behind. You knew it wasn’t your fault and he more than deserved it, but you just couldn’t believe that you were okay with killing somebody. Your stomach curled and twisted with guilt.

You nodded at him with a stoic face.

“The money came from one of Logan’s burner companies. I can’t confirm if he’s Sol’s father or your sister’s partner but there’s a huge chance that it’s him. His accounts are so encrypted that I can’t check anything myself, but I cross-referenced any police charges he has. He got a ticket for a fender bender in Thailand the same time that your sister travelled there. Then he got charged for a DUI a couple months later after she was back here.”

If this was Sol’s father, then it relieved you that they looked nothing alike. No, the sweet girl in the next room had taken after your sister with cute, round features and wide eyes that made you think that she had stars suspended in them. She looked nothing like the emotionless man that you had just seen.

The thought of him getting his tainted hands on her precious, pure skin made your stomach fill with sticky, molten, disgust.

“So, what now?” You asked meekly. You now knew the face of the person behind your life ending up in shambles, but you still had no idea how to fight him. If Logan Nam was a missile, you were a pen; completely unrelated, worthless, and weak and yet you had more responsibilities and expectations.

“We figure out his schedule and plant a marksman? Sooji’s been getting pretty good at sniping lately.” He wondered out loud and your eyes widened.

“What?! No! Have you lost your mind?! I’m not comfortable with killing another person, Yeosang!”

He looked perturbed, like you were suggesting something completely illogical when all you were asking was to follow the law. ‘No killing people’ was a pretty big rule, and the mere thought of someone losing their life at your command had your skin pricking with cold sweat and your heart racing.

It was too much because you knew that this wouldn’t be it. How could it be? The weight of what you had done would swing over your head for the rest of your life. You’d always be looking over your shoulder and this one decision could even be a can of worms. You knew, if you went through with this, your life as you knew it would never be the same and it would be like watching your entire world erupt into flames before you.

“(Y/N), we need to fight fire with fire.” He replied.

“No, you fight fire with water.” You replied haughtily and even though you were trying to keep your cool, you were realizing that you were on the verge of a panic attack. Your sweaty hand gripped the fabric of your skirt tightly and you could feel the tremors you were trying hard to ignore.

“(Y/N) …” He prompted gently but you shook your head, feeling sweat bead at your hairline. Your pupils were shaking and the more you tried He reached for your hand that was clasped tightly by your side and his skin felt cool against yours.

You scrunched your eyes shut, “Please, let’s have this conversation later.”

He nodded before whispering to you, “Okay.”

***

Kids can really take some things for granted. You realized that when Sol suddenly started regarding to Yeosang as the smarter one between the two of you. It was downright insulting. Here you were, putting a roof over her head for the better part of her life using money that you earned from a job that you earned after putting yourself through many years in university and she didn’t think that you were capable of reciting the names of the planets.

It wasn’t that she thought you were stupid, you realized that, but rather just thought of Yeosang as extremely smart and you’d be lying if you said his smug smile every time, she asked him a question first wasn’t frustrating. But you tried to reason with yourself, saying that it was just because he was new and pretty, that Sol was fixating on him. You were sure, that he would turn into old news soon enough.

You were making the bed after breakfast while Yeosang typed away at his computer. He had insisted that there were staff that could handle the housekeeping, but you were beginning to get a little stir crazy, and you needed to keep moving or it felt like you would just die.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you sound jealous.” He said and you could practically hear the smirk in his voice and rolled your eyes, tucking the sheets in tighter.

“I know you think you’re so smart, but you’re sadly mistaken.” You replied haughtily.

“Oh, so you’re not upset that Sol thinks you’re an idiot?” He quipped with such an infuriating gaze that made you want to chuck a pillow at his head, but you scoffed instead, spotting Sol as she strolled back into the room. Like expected, she went straight into Yeosang’s arms.

“Yeosang! I have another question!”

“What’s up, sweet pea?” He asked, placing her on his lap and ducked your head to hide a smile, pretending like you were smoothing out any wrinkles in the sheets. He was getting so much more comfortable with Sol, even looking after her while you showered or needed some alone time and every time you looked at them together, your heart felt just a tiny bit lighter. Like maybe, even for a few seconds, he could hold onto some of your burdens and make it just a little easier for you.

“Where do babies come from?”

The look he shot you was all the retribution you needed, and you couldn’t stop the blatant laugh that left your mouth when his expression dropped. Sol, who thought you were making fun of her, pouted before turning back to Yeosang and tapping his shoulders insistently.

“Who’s the idiot now?” You cackled.

***

“Since I couldn’t hack into his bank account without alerting him, I had to hack the bank and do a manual check of all his transactions.” Yeosang told you, pushing up his glasses that slid down the bridge of his nose. You realized a little late that you had gotten distracted by the view of Yeosang with fluffy hair and thin glasses that you hadn’t been processing anything he was saying.

“And, well, he makes a monthly payment and I wondered what could possibly require monthly payments but also would be done using legal banking.” He rambled on and you nodded, not quite understanding why he was telling you about this.

When he was wearing cute sweaters and shuffling around the room in socks with a cup of coffee in his hands, it was hard to believe he was part of the mafia. He always looked so domestic, you often found yourself feeling like a small family when you would walk into the room to find Sol asleep in his lap while he typed away noisily.

It was moments like those when you tried extremely hard to snap yourself out of it. This wasn’t a game, and you couldn’t trick yourself into pretending to be his little wife. He was the only thing stopping your life from crumbling apart before your eyes. The last flimsy string that remained strong on a tearing rope as you hung helplessly off the side of a cliff.

You weren’t letting yourself rely on him too much, you wanted to remain strong so that when the moment came, you’d be able to part ways and go back to normal. It only made sense, he was never here for you to begin with, he was doing this as a favour to his mother and even though you knew his fondness for Sol and empathy for you made him work hard, you knew that once Sol was safe, you wouldn’t be in each other’s lives anymore.

You still let yourself keep that little bud and glimmer of wistful longing in your heart. As long as you kept it to yourself, you could admire him for his hard work and his intelligence and his beauty. You hadn’t felt about anyone this way in years. When Sol had come into your life, you had continued to date for a while, but no one wanted to be in a relationship with ‘a single mother’. You tried to argue that she wasn’t yours and you were no mother, but you could understand why to them it would make no difference.

That had been the last fragment of your old life that you had been hanging onto with a tight grip; that Sol wasn’t yours. She wasn’t your child, and she wasn’t your responsibility. You were just looking after her in your sister’s absence but as it became harder and harder to ignore that just because she wasn’t your child, didn’t mean you weren’t her parent.

So, you slowly let go of things that reminded you that your life wasn’t the same. You stopped seeing guys, stopped meeting friends, stopped going on little dates by yourself. Your life slowly became completely and totally Sol’s possession and any semblance of your own identity melted away.

But on those lazy mornings when you aren’t quite awake yet and Yeosang hands you a mug of coffee before you even leave the bed and looks over your shoulder to make sure Sol hasn’t stirred, you could just picture him as a boyfriend you met in your college years and stayed with. You could picture that your biggest problems were that Yeosang would rather play video games than go on a date.

But you’d keep that little piece of delusions to yourself.

Because if there’s one thing that hadn’t let you down in your life, it was the safety of your own mind when you needed a moment to breathe.

“Yeosang,” You interrupted him in the middle of his long-winded explanation, “What exactly are you trying to say here?”

He gave you a pained expression, “(Y/N), he’s been making monthly payments to a columbarium.”

***

With Yeosang insisting that his friends weren’t as bad as you were expecting, you agreed to loosen the reigns a little, allowing him to invite them over while he looked after Sol. Such was the case today. While you were away, Yeosang and Sol were joined by Wooyoung and one of Sooji’s three dogs because Sol just loved animals.

They weren’t doing much, just sitting around the coffee table with pieces of paper in front of them. Sol was working on her own, drawing a house while Wooyoung and Yeosang played tic-tac-toe. When Yeosang lost the game for the fourth time, Wooyoung looked up to find him staring at the piece of paper with more concentration than necessary.

“You okay man?”

Yeosang looked up at him, realizing that he had been pointlessly scribbling the O till it was just a huge dot. He sighed, leaning back on both his hands, “Yeah, just worried about—” He stopped himself before saying your name, glancing at the girl beside him and relieved that she didn’t notice.

So far, she hadn’t begun missing you yet, too wrapped up in her drawings to even realize that you were missing from the house, and he tried hard to make sure it would stay that way, distracting her quickly whenever she began wondering where you were. He let Sol watch whatever she wanted during breakfast, spent nearly an hour messing up the kitchen while cooking chocolate chip pancakes because neither of them knew your special recipe. He even watched the same Winx Club movie with her twice in a row because apparently kids have no sense of monotony and tedium.

He was already making plans to take her to the backyard after she got sick of drawing so she could play with the 3 dogs and tire herself out, but he knew that if you weren’t back in time to put her to bed, she would throw the world’s biggest tantrum.

“You’re getting awfully involved with her.” Wooyoung brought up casually, drawing the box to start another game.

“I mean, I’m just trying to help.” He murmured, knowing just where this conversation was going but for some reason, he couldn’t stop himself from pussyfooting around the topic. His best friend gave him a look, “No, you’re going way beyond ‘just’ helping at this point.”

He rolled his eyes in response though he knew what Wooyoung was accusing him of was true. He didn’t think he would end up getting this attached to little Sol and you. His mornings used to start out the way his nights ended, sleep deprived and half unconscious at his computer. Yeosang’s life was very much bound by his screen, and it was often that he would go weeks without interacting with anyone.

This was what was expected of him, when he had a job, he had to put himself into all of it and more often than not it felt like this was the only purpose in his life. Sure, his friends were so close that they were practically family, but he had no one relying on him and his existence felt very virtual and temporary. There were many times while he was trapped in between four walls when he would just think if anything in his life was worth it.

He pushed himself very hard, but he felt like he had nothing to show for it, no meaningful rewards to reap from it.

But something as small as you are smiling at him first thing after you woke up or Sol involving him in conversations as though you were a family had his stomach pooling with honey-sweet sustenance and belonging. It was crazy, he knew that. He was an outsider, looking into your perfect little family from beyond an invisible boundary. He was just here to help you get back to that perfect place and he couldn’t let himself be deluded into thinking that maybe there would be a place for him.

Even if he wanted that, it wasn’t the best for you or Sol. He was a mafia member, the very reason his mother stopped speaking to him in the first place. Even though he knew you held no bad feelings against him, Yeosang would be lying if he said that he didn’t see your hands shake from fear and anxiety whenever he spoke of this part of his life.

He sighed, drawing another hash after he lost the game for the sixth time, “Just drop it. It’s just a passing feeling, it’ll go away.”

He didn’t know what exactly he was talking about, the feeling of inexplicable love every time he looked at the little girl beside him or the desire for nothing but your happiness whenever he looked into your eyes. Sol innocently watched them playing tic-tac-toe and an idea struck her, flipping over the paper to use the blank side, and trying to draw the hash so she could join them.

She attempted to draw a straight line when her hand trembled and it came out bumpy and crooked. She erased the line and tried again only to come out with the same result. After a couple more tries, Yeosang glanced over when he heard a sniffle, startled to find her wiping tears from her eyes.

“Oh, what’s wrong?” Wooyoung looked up at the surprisingly soft tone, thinking he was talking to him and was even more surprised to see Yeosang quickly pull her into his lap and wrap his arms around her. He was concerned for his friend. This was the first time in years that it looked like he was actually taking care of himself.

Wooyoung knew that Yeosang wouldn’t admit it but when his mother had cut ties with him, it had hit him hard. This was the first time that he had ever seen Yeosang look so fulfilled and he wasn’t sure what worried him more, that it could be ripped very quickly from him once he was done helping you and you would walk away, or that it could be ripped even faster from him if he couldn’t help you.

“I wanted to draw what you were drawing and play with you, but I can’t do it!” She whined into his neck, and Yeosang cooed, patting her back.

“It’s okay. We can still play the game together. I like your version better anyway.” He said, patiently waiting for her to stop crying before he delicately wiped away her tears, “You want me to teach you how to play?”

When she nodded, he turned her around in his lap, still keeping an arm around her and grabbed her pencil.

***

You stared at the marble urn in the shelf with an empty expression. A small, framed picture of your sister was beside it. She was smiling brightly, taunting you with the carefree look in her eyes. The sun glimmered like gold in her hair and her skin glowed like honey.

“You selfish bitch.” You choked out, feeling like you were sinking. You tried to look at her face while saying it, but all your eyes could focus on was your pained reflection staring back at you from the glass.

And all at once it felt like you were breaking. The dam had collapsed. The seams had ripped. Your knees were far too weak to support you and you tumbled to the ground, clutching your head as you wailed into your lap.

“I’m sorry! I’m so so sorry! I tried! I really did!” You sobbed out, not even bothering to wipe the streams of tears that were leaving your eyes. Why bother when they were quickly replaced.

“I just— Sometimes, I— I feel like—” You tried to tell her, but the words kept getting caught painfully in your throat. You couldn’t admit it to her, no matter how hard you tried. You knew she couldn’t hear you, couldn’t respond and couldn’t do much to help but still you couldn’t admit it.

Your heart felt like it was tearing itself into shreds, your stomach twisting so tightly that you could feel acid climb up your throat. You could barely breathe in between sobs, and it felt like every single cell in your body was hurting.

You had grown apart from your sister when you both had become adults, it was inevitable that you did. You weren’t teenagers that shared a room anymore, you both were now grown-ups who had to live their own lives. You got busy with your own career and your sister was the same. You would see each other at family dinners and special occasions but eventually those became few and far between.

Looking back, you couldn’t really put all the blame on her, you had missed many dinners due to work and your heart clenched in your chest at the thought that your absence might have pushed her to this person.

Regardless, she was still your sister and you loved her. And now, she was just, gone. You thought back to the last time you had seen her, she was so haggard and worn. Did she die in the same way? Tired, desperate, and alone? She had so much to live for, a daughter, your parents, and even you and it killed a part of you to know that someone you loved was now reduced to a pile of ash in an urn.

You cried for what felt like forever before leaning against the opposite shelves and staring up at her column. Your head was blank for the first time in years, and you couldn’t think of anything no matter how hard you tried to. There were things that needed your attention, like how you would break the news to your parents, how you would keep Sol safe but every time you thought of either, it would evaporate into nothing until you were just blank.

You had no more fight left to give, nothing more to provide, nothing left to give away. Whenever you cared for Sol, looked after her, loved her, you had been borrowing energy from your future elf. Somewhere, deep down, you kept hope that your sister would one day return, and you could just go back to being her aunt. But now it felt like there would never be an end and you had hit a wall.

It was sick, you knew you were, that you felt some sort of resentment towards a small, innocent little girl. She had done nothing wrong, and you knew that but sometimes whenever you looked at her, all you could see was something that was holding you down. Sometimes you thought about giving her up for adoption or handing her to her grandparents and when things got really bad you would think about packing a bag in the middle of the night and just leaving.

You loved Sol, so much but you were always trying to keep her at arm’s length and now that you couldn’t justify it anymore, the horrid, disgusting feelings of resentment, of rejection came bubbling up and you couldn’t help but feel repulsed by yourself.

“I don’t know what to do...” You whispered helplessly, looking at the picture of your sister. She was a splitting image of Sol, looking more mature and her features were more angled, but it was still her.

When it felt like you had cried it all out, you stood up once again, ready to leave. The sun was setting outside which meant it would soon be time to put Sol to bed and you’d rather do it yourself than force Yeosang to do it.

You looked at the ground as you were leaving the building, emotionlessly staring at the tiles when a pair of glossy, black shoes came into your vision. Startled, you looked up and realized you were an inch away from a broad chest. When your eyes met the man’s, your blood froze in your veins, and you took a step back.

Logan Nam smirked at you and your eyes widened in fear.

He took a step closer, and you mirrored him, putting as much difference as you could between you.

“When the reception notified me that someone was visiting my wife’s ashes, I had a hunch it would be you.” He said, taking another step toward you. Your heart was beating madly in your ears, and you swallowed thickly.

“I’ll make this simple; I want my daughter.”

Your heartrate ticked up, breath stuttering in your lungs, and you were overwhelmed by the sudden urge to just cry. You still couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, your throat constricting painfully. Immediately, you were filled with hostility. You didn’t know why; you had never met him before and had no reason to mistrust him other than your sister’s words, but you would never go against the last thing she told you before you died.

Whatever she had felt about him, whatever he had done wasn’t important, but you die before ever considering

“Not happening.” You finally replied, finding your voice.

“I wasn’t asking.” He replied coldly and before you could even blink, his hand was around your throat, and he slammed you against the wall. The wind was knocked out of you and the back of your head throbbed so hard that your vision had spots. He wasn’t even applying much pressure, but the hit was so powerful that you had trouble breathing.

He was crazy, downright psychotic. You gasped for air and thrashed around but he didn’t loosen his hold on your throat, pressing down harder until you felt your windpipe collapse from the pressure. Then the panic got real when you couldn’t take any more breaths. Your eyes filled with tears in response, and you tried prying his fingers off you, but he was too strong.

“Maybe I should kill you right now,” He murmured, more to himself than you. His gaze was steady on you, but it looked like he wasn’t seeing you, “I’ll be kind, you can have the spot next to my wife.”

You struggled in his grip, wanting to throw up from the force on your throat but he didn’t relent until you scratched your nails down his face and poked his eyes as hard as you could. The grip on your throat loosened and you took only a moment to catch your breath before running down the hall and trying to get out of the building.

His footsteps picked up behind you and your frantic eyes darted around the halls, spotting a fire extinguisher that hung off the far war and immediately sprinted towards it. He was faster than you expected and slammed you into the wall just as you reached it. The extinguisher hit you badly in the ribs and you groaned in pain but grabbed onto it with a vice-like grip.

It was too heavy for you to throw at him, regardless of how much the adrenaline pumping through your veins was pushing your body and, in a panic, you pushed down the lever and were startled when foam sprayed out of the nozzle with such a high pressure that it was enough to knock him off you. You managed to catch him off-guard, throwing him offbeat and didn’t wait for him to gain his senses before you dropped the cannister and ran.

You made at out of the building, nearly giving yourself a whiplash as you tried to spot a taxi, not stopping your sprint for even a second. You could hear him behind you but to your relief, he was farther than he was last time. Just as you were about to leave the enclosure, you heard a gunshot and shrieked, ducking away from the shards of glass that exploded from the streetlamp that he shot.

Your heart getting tired, and it was beginning to hurt from how hard it was beating against your ribcage. You were panting heavily, and a cold bead of sweat darted down the length of your back. You made out Logan’s silhouette against the blurring of tears in your eyes, recognizing the smoking gun he was pointing directly at you.

“That was a warning shot. Move and the next one won’t be.”

There was a beat of silence where you contemplated what to do. Your body flinched and you involuntarily took a step back and you saw something flash in his eyes as dread set into your bones. He was going to shoot. You ducked away, almost missing the police car that raced at you with blaring lights and a loud siren and screeched to a stop between the both of you.

“Get in!” Screamed the driver and without wasting a second, you threw open the door and jumped in. She didn’t even wait for you to close the door before she was speeding out of there and merging into the main road.

When the driver was certain that you both were far enough from the columbarium, she looked at you through the rear-view mirror, “I’m Detective Jeong Tae Eul.”

“(Y/N).” You responded, completely out of it. Your body was shaking, and you were terrified that you’d turn around to find Logan staring you down with his crazy eyes and dangerous weapon.

“I’m going to drive you to the police station, okay? We can file a police report together.” She explained with a soothing voice, but her words only caused you to panic more.

“No! We can’t file a report!” You exclaimed and her brows raised in surprise, “Why not?”

Your hands were shaking pathetically in your lap, and you had no explanation for her. If she found out that he was Sol’s biological father and you had no legal custody over her, she might end up turning the tables against you. Sensing your fear, she put the vehicle in park at a traffic light, turning around to look you in the eye.

“It’s going to be okay. Just tell me what happened, I promise nothing will leave this vehicle unless you want it to.”

So, you told Tae Eul everything. In the end, she made a promise to introduce you to one of the best lawyers she knew and promised that her friend, Cha Young, would give you a consultation pro bono and if she thought there was a case, she’d help take it to trial.

***

It was almost two thirty in the morning when you finally got back home, and your body felt so worn out that you felt like you were so close to withering away that second. You weren’t even down the hall before Yeosang intercepted you.

“Where the hell have you been! Why was your phone switched off!” He had barely started his rant, fully intending on chewing you out with how worried he was but his eyes flickered down to your neck for a second before they completely zeroed in on the bruise around your throat.

He paused and it was like you watched all the emotion die out from his face before he was glaring at you darkly. With all the terror you had been through only a few hours ago, you couldn’t even bring yourself to feel afraid anymore, all your emotions and thoughts had vaporized and vanished like the wax of a candle.

He reached his hand out and you shivered as his fingers delicately grazed against the purpling bruise against your skin. You gripped onto his arm for stability, and he finally raised his eyes back to yours, unbridled fury swimming in the depths of his eyes. You could never picture Yeosang as a mafia member, not when he was failing in all his attempts to braid Sol’s hair or when he happily munched down the breakfast you made him, but in this instance, you could understand how he managed to fare for so long in this world.

He looked downright terrifying, and you would’ve been shaking in your boots if you didn’t know that he was angry for you, not at you.

“Who did this to you?”

Fuck. He couldn’t look at you like that and say things like that and expect you not to melt into a puddle of absolute mush. You sighed shakily, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach and the absolute state of euphoria and warmth that was rushing through you that you were finally home and safe with Yeosang.

“I ran into Logan.” You explained, trailing off when his eyes widened, and it seemed like you had just lit a fire inside him.

“That bitch!” He seethed and the veins in his neck popped out but even then, the tender touch of his fingers on your neck never got even a fraction more abrasive or forceful. A rush of things passed on his face, mostly rage but then it finally washed away, and he was the kind, domestic Yeosang you had always known.

“Are you alright? Does it hurt?”

You shook your head silently and he released a shaky breath before pulling you in for a hug. He gently caressed your hair, and you buried your face into the crook of his neck, wrapping your arms tightly around his middle and inhaling the smell of home. The material of his sweater was bunched tightly in your fist, pulling yourself so close to his body that you could be considered as one.

“You’re safe now.” He whispered, holding you and even though you didn’t believe him, you nodded and then breathed in deeply.

After a few minutes, you spoke up, not bothering to move your head and Yeosang shivered when he felt your lips brush against the skin of his neck, “Where’s Sol?”

“I put her to bed hours ago. She went down no problem.” He responded in perfect sync, and you sighed in relief.

“Thank you,” You whispered, kissing whatever piece of skin you could reach in gratitude and even though you thought he would flinch or freeze, he said nothing and rocked you back and forth like a pendulum, “For everything.”

***

You stared at Sol’s sleeping form, the moonlight peeking through the curtains being enough for you to recognize her features that you had memorized. This precious, little girl was your everything. She was your mornings and your nights, and she was completely worth all the hard work and the burdens you had to go through.

You loved her so much and she wouldn’t ever know the surface of the struggles you went through trying to raise her, but you would continue to do so.

You were trying so hard to deflect the burden from yourself, claiming that Sol wasn’t your responsibility, since she was your sister’s child but if you won full custody over her, she would forever be yours. You had always tried to run away from fully accepting her because you were scared, terrified even to the changes it would bring to your life.

But in the silence of the night, you looked at the sweet girl and realized just how much you had changed without realizing. Mornings would begin with a kiss on the cheek in greeting the same way the day would end. With Sol, even things as little as cooking or bath-time could turn into a fun activity and you remembered just how many times you could feel full just from looking at her.

Yes, you didn’t have anyone to depend on and yes, it was difficult. My goodness, it was so difficult. But you couldn’t say goodbye to the good moments, no matter how strenuous the bad ones were. You had seen her first steps, her first words and had been there for every milestone that she had been through.

You weren’t her mother, but she was your child. In every sense, in every thought, in every language, in every moment. She was yours.

Suddenly overwhelmed with so much emotion that you felt tears prick at your eyes, you leaned over to brush a few hairs out of her face before kissing her cheek, “I love you so much.”

The door clicked open, and you glanced over to see Yeosang pad in with a cup of tea. Smiling lightly, you shifted over on the bed and gave him room to sit beside you. Now with a steaming cup of tea in your hands, you were able to soothe your throat that was throbbing and scratchy from the amount of crying you had done through the day.

He was right, he made tea way better than you did.

“She’s cute, right?” He whispered and you chuckled before nodding.

“She gets it from you.”

***

You glanced between the 7 men apprehensively, watching as they awkwardly lingered around the doorway. Aside from Yeosang, of course, who made himself at home on the couch immediately, grabbing the bowl of popcorn that Sol had been hogging.

“Um, I thought you said you had a guy’s night?” You asked, biting your lip. Yeosang had informed you about their night a couple days ago and you thought it was a great idea. After filing the lawsuit for custody against Logan, any attempts of abduction had stopped as well since it could reflect badly in the legal fight. Since then, you had returned to work and Sol had been going back to kindergarten even though Yeosang’s mom had strict instructions to call him first and not you in an emergency.

You were worried that you were beginning to rely on Yeosang a little too much and though you were still living together on Ateez’s homebase, you thought he deserved the much-needed break and some time to blow off steam with his friends. You were more than prepared for him to come home absolutely wasted. You had even courteously decided to sleep on the couch so he could have his own bed back for a night.

Yunho blushed, pulling out a piece of paper from his pocket and handing it to you. When you unfolded the paper, your cheeks heated up in embarrassment.

‘Dear tall oppa, I am keeping a movy nite on Sunday nite! It’s at 7 pm so don’t be late!’

There were way too many stickers around the sides of the paper and a few of the letters were in the wrong direction. You could clearly tell that there was a lot of thought put into this, considering that the stickers were off a giraffe and a smiling puppy, which you were sure that she associated Yunho with. You ran a hand over your face, trying to hide your embarrassment and face that had darkened with a blush but doing an awful job.

“I’m sorry you guys, you don’t need to attend, you already made plans. I’m sure Sol will understand.” You said, feeling ashamed that they were guilted into attending because Sol had a cute face.

Sol, having heard what you said, immediately began protesting and climbed into Yeosang’s lap and wrapping her tiny arms around his neck. He was quick to move the bowl of popcorn away, nearly missing Sol’s foot to his crotch and cradled her so that she was sitting more comfortably.

“No! I wanna have a movie night with everyone.”

You sighed, feeling your neck heat up, “Sol, please, they all have plans.”

She whined, wrapping her arms around Yeosang tighter, and burying her little face in his neck.

The others smiled kindly at you, and you felt grateful albeit still quite embarrassed, “It’s okay (Y/N), we don’t mind.”

They all began shuffling in the door and you realized they each brought their own movie snacks and before no time they were all crowded around the TV. Delighted that everyone was there to join her, she beamed at Yeosang, practically shaking with joy in his lap and he gave her a fond smile, glancing at you and patting the empty spot beside him.

“So, what movie are we watching?”

“Winx Club!”

Everyone groaned.

“(Y/N) if I have to watch this movie again, I’m going to shoot myself.”

***

You couldn’t remember the last time you had let loose this way. When you got home after winning the custody case, you were immediately handed a drink that Wooyoung called his ‘Magic Potion’. A few magic potions later, you were giggling madly into Yeosang’s neck.

Thankfully, Seonghwa was looking after Sol for the rest of the evening, so he was able to give you his undivided attention just as the fourth drink began to hit you. You had already played hide-and-seek and even hidden many things like Chayoung’s briefcase and Wooyoung’s Apple watch.

“Okay, I think you’ve had enough drinks.” Yeosang said, grabbing the glass that Wooyoung was holding out to you and immediately you pouted, wrapping your arms around his neck, and releasing a pathetic whine.

“Nooo, I want to drink some moreeee.”

He could smell the alcohol on your breath, and you could barely take a step without stumbling. With a steady arm around your waist, he guided you away from Wooyoung who began chanting that he was no fun since he became a dad (Yeosang promptly ignored that part, even though his neck was getting uncomfortably hot). While he did want a drink too, he really thought that only one of you should be hungover the next day.

“You can have a glass of water.”

“But I don’t want water!” You exclaimed, stomping your foot and he sighed, mentally comparing you to Sol when she threw a tantrum but you were still easy to manoeuvre toward the bedroom so he could put you to bed before you ended up passing out.

Your energy level plummeted the farther you walked and by the time you both entered your room, your head was lolling, and you were breathing deeply as though asleep standing upright.

“Did I ever tell you how much you mean to me?” He heard you ask quietly and froze in his steps. You turned to look at him with a sober gaze that startled him. You looked so damn serious about it, like you were genuinely asking him rather than just going off on some drunk tangent.

You gave him a wobbly smile, “I’m sorry that I’ve been relying on you so much lately. It feels really one-sided, and I’m actually terrified that you’ll think of me as a burden.”

He didn’t know what to do. You were definitely drunk, and it was most likely the reason you were suddenly bearing your heart to him but with each word that came out of your mouth, another nerve began buzzing with electricity.

“Maybe if everything was normal, I could just ask you out like I want to, but I don’t have the balls because I’m worried it will ruin everything.” You laughed at yourself, running a hand down your face and his stomach hollowed out, hundreds of flurries of butterflies flapping incessantly so far up his throat that it felt he couldn’t breathe. You wanted to ask him out?

“And isn’t it so funny that I can only tell you how I feel when I’m drunk out of my mind?” You laughed out but your voice was tight. He knew you were scared but your inhibition was hindered, he knew that.

“Because I know you’ll pretend like it never happened the next day if you don’t feel the same. Because I wasn’t in the right state of mind. Hah, even when I’m telling you that I love you, I’m selfish. I’m so pathetic.” You laughed brokenly and his heart tightened in his chest.

Yeosang stared at you with widened eyes, watching the way your eyes glimmered and the slight tint to your cheeks from drinking too much.

“W-What?”

You giggled at his startled face and took a clumsy but deliberate step toward him before raising a hand to cup his cheek, “I’m in love with you. And it’s not only because you’re the only one who supports me. It’s because you’re funny, and you’re nice but in a funny, backhanded way, and you care about me like I care about you, and sometimes when I look at you, I feel complete. Like how I feel when I look at Sol. I’m very happy when I’m with you.”

The way you were looking at him. The things you were saying too him. It was all too much. Too much for his frail little heart to handle. Yeosang was undoubtedly the least emotional one from Ateez, it was easy for him to emotionally disconnect. In his line of work, it was important for him not to get extremely sensitive toward something.

But the way you were touching him, like he was a tender flower instead of the burdened steel he has always been made his heart race in his chest. It had been way too long since he had felt so adored and had been even longer since he had adored someone as much as he did you.

Too dazed from your confession, he didn’t quite react when you leaned in to capture his lips in a soft kiss before pulling away. You looked at him with a steady gaze, “I’m in love with you.”

You kissed him again and this time he returned it. His arms coiled around your waist, holding your hips firmly and you threw your arms around his neck, kissing him eagerly. Yeosang sighed against your mouth, his heart getting bigger with each second that your lips touched his. You were sweet, so sweet that he felt dizzy but wanted to taste more of you.

He gently teased his tongue against yours until you were short of breath, and you raked your fingers through his fluffy hair just as he sucked your bottom lip into his mouth.

The two of you stumbled back in a daze, not breaking the kiss until the back of your knees collided with the bed and you tumbled to the mattress, pulling him down with you. His reflexes worked quickly, keeping himself from crushing you with his arms framing your body as he continued to graze his tongue against yours.

The lingering taste of alcohol on your tongue reminded Yeosang that you were still drunk, and he pulled away with a sigh, knowing that he couldn’t let anything happen if you weren’t in the right state of mind.

“Sang—” You whimpered, trying to pull him back to you by wrapping your legs around his waist and his resolved weakened just a bit when he felt his stomach drop with need and his neck get hot, but he gave you one last kiss before he pulled away just enough to kiss your forehead.

“You’re drunk.” He replied, expecting that to be enough of an explanation but your head was still spinning from the heavenly kiss and all you wanted was to be close to him. He tried to move off you, but you panicked and grabbed his shirt before pulling him closer.

“Don’t leave me.” You whispered, distressed. He kissed your temple before pressing another one to your cheek, pulling away again so he could look you in the eye.

“I won’t. I’ll be right here.”

“I’m sorry.” You apologized and neither of you were sure for what, but he silenced any fears you might have, pulling you in for a hug before he lowered your head onto a pillow and pulled the duvet up to cover you.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for. Just get some rest, I’ll be here in the morning.”

It was dark, but he could still see your features despite it. Yeosang briefly wondered if it was because he spent every waking moment thinking of you. Of your bright eyes, of your glowing skin, of your gorgeous hair, of your sweet lips.

Now that he had finally gotten a taste of them, a taste of you, he couldn’t begin to dream of letting you go. He just couldn’t. A part of him churned with uncertainty, fear, and insecurity. Did you really mean what you said? Or was it the liquor talking? While he wondered about that, he tried pushing down those horrible, intrusive thoughts that would trouble him whenever he had something good.

Those awful thoughts that would remind him that it wouldn’t be too long until he ruined it.

You were so beautiful, so pure, how could he even think of tainting you with his own colours? It killed him to think that if he pursued something with you, it would only end badly. You and Sol had become such a big part of his life, would he be able to survive without you?

Those thoughts that he struggled to push away no matter how hard he tried reminded him that he wasn’t asking the right question.

Would he be able to live with himself if anything ever happened to you?

***

It was well into the day when you were rudely awakened by the insistent sun. Your head was throbbing lightly from how hard you fell asleep, but you didn’t feel too hungover. Sighing and groaning, you finally found the willpower to sit up straight and when you glanced at the nightstand you couldn’t help but chuckle at the ‘Feel better auntie!’ written on a post-it note with a heart drawn beside it. Yeosang must have told her you weren’t feeling well when you didn’t wake up to drop her off at kindergarten.

After brushing your teeth, you returned to the bedroom even drowsier than you were when you first woke up and considered pulling up the covers and falling asleep again when the door clicked open and Yeosang poked his head through.

And in that instant, everything from last night came flooding back to you. Suddenly, it felt like every nerve ending sparked alive, rushing through your body like a wildfire as images flashed behind your eyes faster than you could process. Your lips tingled with the memory of the kiss, and you felt shocks crawl up your waist where his hands were.

You could only faintly remember the feeling of his hard body pressed against yours and immediately you were filled with immense longing to feel it again. God, it had barely been 20 minutes since you had woken up and you were already craving for him like a hormonal teenager.

It was hardly your fault though, how were you meant to concentrate when he was wearing a tank top that revealed his distracting arms and with the neck cut low enough to see his chest? Honestly, he was too attractive for his own good.

A steady heat climbed up to your cheeks when you realized you had been staring at him for a good minute and you pursed your lips, trying to kill the sparks that began to sting.

“Hi.”

He smiled gently, handing you a bottle of water along with an aspirin and you took it without qualms, “How are you feeling?”

“Not too terrible, that heavy dinner really helped.” You replied, patting your stomach and he scoffed, “You’re welcome.”

It was silent again and even though you could simply pretend like last night hadn’t happened to make the atmosphere bearable, you felt the need to set things straight with him.

“About last night, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything.” You told him, staring at the bottle in your hands and playing with the wrapper.

“I half expected you to have completely forgotten about last night.” He admitted and you almost laughed. The kiss had been everything except forgettable. It was the type of kiss you’d think about even in a couple years and still feel something.

“I didn’t drink that much.” You replied, trying to bring a little mirth in your voice and he chuckled before nodding, “Yeah, but my luck usually turns out to be like that.”

There was another beat of quiet, an awkward tango where you weren’t sure who should speak first but eventually you opened your mouth again, “We can forget about it if you want, I really don’t want things to get awkward between us.”

He remembered the words you told him last night, how you confessed that you were terrified that you’d be a burden to him. He felt the same way. You both had such important things in your life right now that another priority might feel burdensome, he could understand if you felt that way about him.

But Yeosang never thought of you as a burden, more like a rewarding anchor to the world when he felt like he might be sinking down too far.

The silence was beginning to get awkward, and you shifted in the bed, tempted to take another sip of water, “It’s really not a big deal, Sang. We can just forget about the whole thing—”

“Are you drunk right now?”

You paused.

“Excuse me?”

“Are you drunk right now?” He repeated, just as plain as the last time and your brows pinched together, trying to figure out just what angle he was playing.

“……No?”

“Good.” He said, leaning in so he could cup both your cheeks in his hands, and you stared at him wide-eyed, “Because I sure as hell want you to remember this.”

And then he was kissing you like he had roamed the desert, and you were a glass of cold water. He kissed you like a fresh rain shower after a year of drought. He kissed you like every song you had ever heard and every book you had ever read.

Kissing Yeosang was all too much and at the same time not enough. You felt his tender lips against yours and the air in your lungs managed to disappear in a quick second, but you didn’t falter for a moment, tightly wrapping your arms around his shoulders just as his hands slid down to your lower back.

Your breathing stuttered as his tongue gently traced your mouth and your stomach lurched with such undeniable need that you felt your head get foggy. It hurt, it physically hurt from how much you needed to be close to him at the moment. So much that your body trembled with pent-up energy.

With a hand to the back of your head, he lowered you down to the plush pillows, not wanting to part from you for even a second. Everything was getting fuzzy in the best way possible and when Yeosang broke the kiss for a moment to pull his shirt off, it felt like something in you just snapped.

To say he was startled when you suddenly wrapped your legs around his waist and rolled on top of him was an understatement, but he didn’t even get to say anything before you were kissing your way down his neck, nipping, and licking at every spot you could.

He squirmed underneath you, now very aware how close your heat was to his dick and moaned shakily when you sucked at his pulse point.

His hands ran down your back and grabbed your ass, “W-Wait, I want you to have fun too.”

You raised your head from his neck, smirking at the light marks that began to form, “Who said I wasn’t having fun?”

You were both surprised at the loud moan that left his mouth when your teeth sank into the spot where his neck met his shoulder. Soothing the mark with your tongue, you moved a little lower, kissing down his pecs. Even though you were nowhere near finished, you let him guide you back into another kiss.

He flipped the two of you over, giving you a smirk that had butterflies erupting up your throat and hiked your shirt up his wrists, delighted to find that you hadn’t put on a bra yet.

“My turn.”

Breathy moans left your mouth as he teased your breasts with nimble fingers while his talented mouth left pretty red marks along them. One of his hands pressed against your back, arching your chest into his mouth while the other left featherlight touches along your stomach on its way to the waistband of your pants.

Tufts of his hear peeked from between your fingers as you gently tugged and he groaned, reaching to kiss you again when he began tugging your pants and panties down the length of your legs. You helped him throw them off you and shivered in excitement when he grazed your inner thighs.

You were sure there would be more times for him to be rough and for you both to be captured in moments of intense passion but for now you both were taking it slow which had your heart beating in your chest so hard from anticipation that he could hear it.

You let out a content sigh when the tips of his fingers caressed your lower lips. Yeosang was occupied with sucking on your tongue when his thumb began rubbing slow circles against your clit. You gasped, throwing your head back against the pillows and mewling.

He chuckled, “Feeling good?”

“So good.” You whined, brows furrowing together when a finger poked at your entrance. Your thighs would have clamped tightly around his wrist if he wasn’t holding them open.

“How many do you think you can handle?” He asked you and even though your eyelids felt like they were magnetically shut, you wrenched them open to see his soft smile at your confused expression.

“Fingers?”

He huffed out a laugh, “No, orgasms. Don’t wanna overstimulate you if you aren’t ready.”

You inhaled sharply when he shallowly thrust two fingers into you, gripping his biceps tightly, “To be honest, I don’t think I can take more than one today.”

The smirk on his face turned a little dark and he felt your pussy clench around his fingers, “I can do that.”

He swallowed your loud moans with a deep kiss and moved his fingers quickly, alternating between thrusting into your dripping hole with a breaking pace and rubbing his wet fingers against your clit. The knot in your stomach wound tighter and tighter with each flick and you felt yourself getting closer to the edge.

You were so close you could practically taste it, squirming in his grip as you inched closer to ecstasy when he stopped his movements.

Yeosang pulled away from the kiss specifically to hear you groan while he peppered kisses against your neck, “Why’d you stop?”

He licked at the hollow of your collarbone, “You said you’d only be able to handle one. Gotta pace yourself, baby. I’ll make you cum.”

“But I was so close.” You whined, the end of your sentence coming out as a moan when he moved spread his fingers slightly, feeling your plush walls push back against them.

He kissed the spot between your brows, making you aware of your scrunched up face and you relaxed, “I know but you’ve only given me one chance to rock your world and I’m not letting you cum anywhere but my cock.”

A hot blush crept up your face at his frank words and you stared up at the ceiling in embarrassment.

He laughed, and sped up the pace of his fingers slightly, “You’re naked in my bed and you’re feeling shy from my words?”

You hid your face, “Now I’m feeling embarrassed about both.”

His nose nuzzled your cheek lightly, thumbing your clit until you were close again and then abruptly pulled his fingers away from your heat while you whined in disappointment. When you peeked at him between your fingers, he popped the soaked digits in his mouth, growling at the taste of you.

“Fuck, can I eat you out?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, “If you plan on making me cum.”

He shrugged, “Next time then.”

You felt the weight of his body disappear while he pulled off his pants before he crawled back over you, using one of his arms to hold his weight while he reached in his nightstand to pull out a condom.

You raised a brow at the silver packet, wondering just why he had a supply of condoms in a place that wasn’t even his, “How many girls have you brought here?”

“It was a gag gift from Wooyoung. Who’s laughing now?” He muttered in an explanation, hissing as the rolled the rubber on. You giggled when he leaned over you with a wide smile, pecking your cheeks quickly and you cupped his face this time before bringing him in for a sweet kiss.

“Ready?” He whispered against your lips, and you nodded, gently playing with the short hairs on the back of his neck. You panted against each other’s mouths when he finally pushed in, groaning in unison.

The way he stretched you open when he buried himself deep inside you had your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you moaned his name wantonly. The deep groans he was letting out reverberated through his chest and you could feel the feeble vibrations against your own chest pressed to his.

Yeosang felt dizzy at the sound of your sweet moans, at the feeling of your nails scratching lightly at his scalp, at your perfect body and your perfect curves pressed against him. Suddenly overwhelmed with so much stimulation, he shakily exhaled into your neck, pausing for a moment before he began moving his hips and by reflex, your legs wrapped themselves around his waist, sending his head spinning even more.

He rocked against you steadily, quickly licking away the bead of sweat that rolled down your neck and you whined at the pleasure, gasping when snapped his hips with more power. Eager from the long wait, he began relentlessly thrusting into you, groaning loudly at your pussy clenching around him at random beats.

You swore you saw stars attached to the white ceiling when the head of his cock brushed up against that one spot and you released a high-pitched moan, “Fuck right there, please.”

He pulled away from you for just a second to readjust the position of your legs before he continued pounding into you and it felt like your soul had left your body for a second when he hit that spot perfectly each time and you were sent hurtling over the edge, cumming with a loud moan.

He finished soon after, keeping his pace until you both came down from your highs, kissing you sweetly. He didn’t pull out just yet, waiting until you both had caught your breath before he did.

You automatically curled into his side when he lied down beside you, placing your head on his chest and his arm wound around your waist. You didn’t speak for a while, didn’t sleep, didn’t move, just stayed there, pressed against each other, and basking in the afterglow.

“Are you sure you want this?” Yeosang finally asked and you raised your head with a confused pout, “Kind of late to ask that question, don’t you think?”

He rolled his eyes, “Not that, I meant me. Are you sure you want a relationship with me?”

“What do you mean?”

You tilted your head in the most adorable way that his heart began racing again. His mind willed him to be just silent, to just enjoy the sight of the gorgeous, naked girl in his arms but he spoke once again, “I’m part of the mafia, (Y/N). And you’re part of the tax-paying, righteous, beautiful public. Are you sure you want that?”

You paused and it felt like time had stopped for a year for Yeosang. He made up his mind then. Whatever be your answer, he would accept it, no follow-up questions, no attempt to convince you and he swore that he wouldn’t make you feel bad for it. Afterall, you both had made your choices about the kind of life you want to lead.

He was determined not to make you feel guilty for rejecting him. Afterall, you were just trying to do what was best for your family.

But then you smiled at him, kissing the corner of his lips, “I used to think that everything was black and white, but you’ve showed me differently. And I want this with you, I really do love you, Sang.”

His heart squeezed in his chest, all the questions he wanted to ask you disappeared like weightless clouds in the sky and he pressed his lips to yours, “I love you, too.”

You sighed happily, gently tracing figures onto his bare chest while his fingers drummed a random pattern on your hips, “I wish we could just stay here forever.”

He spared a glance at the clock and groaned internally, “We have to leave to pick up Sol in like an hour.”

You abruptly sat up, holding the covers to your chest, and stared at him with wide eyes, “We have to change the sheets!”

With a mischievous grin, he scooped you up in his arms and ran to the bathroom while you let out a startled laugh, “Shower first!”

***

As soon as you stepped outside the car to pick up Sol, you had realized that something had gone incredibly wrong. You stopped Yeosang before he could take another step, turning to him with a panicked gaze, “Call the others.”

“What? Why?” He questioned but still pulled out his phone without missing a beat and sent an alert to the others.

“Hear that?”

“I don’t hear anything.”

“Exactly.”

It was then that he realized what you were saying. It was absolutely silent, no sound of the excited children chattering with their friends, or of the teachers fondly saying their goodbyes to the students, no honking from the cars of the other parents as they tried to find a parking spot.

You shared a wide-eyed gaze before sprinting to the door. Yeosang pulled out his gun, signalling you to keep quiet before you both entered the building and you nodded, breathing in deeply as you both stepped past the door away as silently as you could.

You stayed behind him as he crept towards Sol’s classroom and just as his hand inched toward the handle, the door slammed open and there stood Mrs. Kang, staring at you with a pained smile. Yeosang started, straightening up when he realized he was still pointing the weapon at her.

“Mom? What are you doing? Where is everyone? Where’s Sol?”

She smiled nervously and you could see her body shake, “I sent them all home early.”

Your brows furrowed, “What? Why? Where’s Sol?”

She stepped aside and if your body hadn’t frozen with horror, you would have screamed.

Logan Nam sat sinisterly in Mrs. Kang’s seat like a throne and perched in his lap was Sol, face stricken with tears and duct tape plastered to her mouth. Your eyes immediately glossed over, and you swallowed painfully at the sight of her terrified face and the knife that he held to her throat.

Yeosang stepped in front of you protectively, aiming the gun at Logan. His hands were clenched so hard around the Glock that you could see them shake with absolute fury. It looked like he could light this whole place on fire with a single glare and if looks could kill, Logan Nam would have been mutilated right before your very eyes, “Let. Her. Go.”

He laughed, “Why should I? She’s my daughter. I have the right to do this.”

There it was, that beat of helplessness masked with fear that you felt when you saw his arm tighten around Sol and a fresh wave of tears streamed down her cheeks, cries muffled by the tape.

You clutched your hands tightly at your sides, biting your tongue to keep yourself from crying at the sight of her weeping in terror.

“This is why you should have given her to me when I asked you so nicely.” He said, stroking her hair and you almost scoffed at that. He hadn’t asked, he had demanded, and when you refused, he almost choked you to death.

“She deserves this, you know.” He said nonchalantly but you knew of his psychotic tone. It was the same tone he used when he threatened to kill you and your body shook with emotions you couldn’t explain, “She took her away from me.”

You clenched your jaw so tightly you could swear that you felt a tooth crack.

“We used to be in love, she was my soulmate. But then this bitch was conceived.” He said with such sick hatred and Yeosang bristled at him cussing at Sol, “And little by little she loved me less, her attention was taken from me. Suddenly it was all ‘the baby this’ ‘our baby that’, she took her away from me, she deserves this.”

“You’re sick!” You spat, eyes burning with fury and your nails dug so hard into your palms that it hurt.

His eyes widened and he laughed, in a crazed, manic way that had your heart stuttering in fear. You needed Sol out of there, no matter the cost, no matter the sacrifice, “I just wanted to love your sister, my wife. We loved each other more than anybody else but then she changed. She began loving ‘this’ instead. She took back her words to only love me, so I made sure she wouldn’t make any more mistakes. I killed her, so that she couldn’t love me less.”

You had never felt more wrath than you had now. Your body was trembling with anger and your hands itched to wring his neck, but you stayed in place, extremely aware of the knife that he held loosely. Yeosang didn’t have a clear shot at him, he feared that any move he made could hurt Sol, so he kept his finger on the trigger, hoping for a miracle.

“I’m going to get my revenge.”

There was a moment of static silence where neither man made a move, but you pounced quickly.

You grabbed Yeosang’s wrist and pointed the gun at the ceiling above him, shooting at the light and a loud bang echoed through the halls. Logan was startled just enough for his grip on the knife to loosen as the ceiling tiles nearly crushed him and Sol.

Sol rushed out of his lap, running toward you and you saw her kidnapper attempt to grab her again, but you ran and slammed into him. The knife clattered to the ground and the both of you collided with the wall. You yelped when he grabbed a chunk of your hair and slammed your head against the corner of the desk. You groaned in pain, trying to kick him off you but he would not budge.

“(Y/N)!”

“Sol first!” You shouted back and he wasted no time in complaining, scooping up the wailing child in his arms and wrapping an arm around his mother, taking them out of the building.

The man in front of you attempted to follow them but you stood up once again, ignoring the spots in your vision and jumping at him. Once again you both crashed into the wall, ricocheting against multiple surfaces like pinballs while he tried to rip you off him. The breath was knocked out of you as he violently slammed your back against the chalkboard, but you didn’t relent.

He used his strength to pry your arm off him, twisting it so painfully that you felt something pop and you screamed in pain, tumbling to the ground. He turned to face you with an expression that you would continue to see in your nightmares for the rest of your life and you backed away in fear.

“I should’ve snapped your fucking neck when I had the chance.” He whispered darkly and your hands tried to search for something, anything and your palm grazed against the handle of the knife he dropped earlier.

Your hand wrapped tightly around the blade and your resolution hardened like cold metal. The next few seconds passed by in slow motion. Logan charged for you, but his hands did not get the chance to touch you.

Blood splattered on your face and clothes.

You had slit his throat open.

***

When you arrived at the hospital where Mrs. Kang had taken Sol, you were frantic to see your baby girl. You had wiped as much blood as you could on the car ride there while you filled in the rest of Ateez on what had happened. They were filled with a newfound respect as well as pity for you when they found out what you had done.

You and Yeosang rushed to one of the cots in the emergency room, having heard Sol’s loud and panicked cries as soon as you entered, and your eyes were flooded with tears at the mere sound. You ripped open the curtain and bundled her up in your arms along with the blanket she had wrapped around herself.

Sol wailed and screamed into your chest while you wept in utter relief and despair that she had been through this. The waves of fear were still passing through the both of you and even though you wanted to pull yourself together for her sake, you couldn’t stop yourself from crying along with her. Just as you had the night you first met her.

Strong arms wrapped around your shoulders and your head rested against Yeosang’s neck. He pulled Sol to his chest, cradling her tightly against his body, closing his eyes and thanking whatever god that had been listening. If the knife hadn’t been there when you needed it, if Logan had been faster, if he hadn’t waited for the both of you to come before killing Sol; those were thoughts he didn’t even want to venture.

Instead, he screwed his eyes shut and raked a gentle hand through your hair as your cries died down. Eventually, the both of you began to soothe Sol, holding her in between the both of you so she could finally feel safety now that she was back in your arms.

Mrs. Kang glanced at the small family on the hospital bed. She watched the way her son tenderly pressed his forehead to yours before kissing you lightly and the way you held onto him for dear life. And then she glimpsed at the frail, little girl sandwiched between the both of you. Her tiny fingers were clutching onto both her parents’ hands tightly while she cried.

She watched her son who she had only then realized had grown up so much as he pulled his little family into a tight hug before she slid the curtains shut, giving you the privacy that you deserved.

***

1 year later

Family vacations used to be small outings that you could afford to take along with Sol. You didn’t need to keep track of much since you only had a small girl to take, and she was usually satisfied with simply going to the fair or even the beach.

But since revealing her existence to your parents, you had made many trips to the countryside, so they had time to meet and play with Sol. She was ecstatic that she had grandparents who lived on a farm, always going with her grandfather to pick fruit and vegetables or with her grandmother to look at the animals.

You had taken Yeosang along with you this time to spend the weekend along with your parents. He had mentioned it to his mother without thinking much of it and she had immediately called you to see if she and her husband could join as well.

And before you knew it, you were having a big family vacation at your parents’ house. It hadn’t been this full since you were a child and a part of you was overjoyed to have that lively environment and energy.

You were curled up on the patio couch beside Yeosang, both of you keeping a close eye on the little girl who was currently coddling a baby cow. The atmosphere was relaxed, your mother was baking a fresh pie and your father was crocheting a beanie for his darling granddaughter. Mr. and Mrs. Kang were also content in their own seats, smiling at the sight of Sol giggling when the calf licked her hand.

“Are you two planning on getting married soon?” Asked Mrs. Kang and you laughed at the immediate groan that left Yeosang’s lips, hiding your giggling face in the crook of his neck. The topic had actually come up after a family dinner when Sol had proclaimed that when she grows up, she wanted to marry him. You had never seen Yeosang more embarrassed in his life.

You both had agreed that you would want to get married sometime but there wasn’t any rush. Afterall, you lived together, raised a child together and spent every waking moment in each other’s company. It wasn’t like much was missing from your life.

“Mom…” Your boyfriend groaned, tilting his head back and missing the way you stared up at him in adoration, but his mother certainly noticed the sparkling stars in your eyes as you looked at her son.

“What? I want more grandbabies.” She defended, watching as Sol began running back to all of you, satisfied with the amount of animal cuddles she had gotten. She climbed into her teacher’s lap, happily telling her all about the cows and wrapping her arms around her neck.

“Sol-ah, don’t you think your auntie and uncle should get married?” Mrs. Kang asked and you almost burst into laughter when she turned to you with a betrayed look on her face.

“B-But I wanted to marry him!”

[shixige]

More old sketches of PoL!!

The first two is the one i'm really proud of ☆ミ

[via-viana]

Finally, I can read this gem😭. Can't believe that headache is keeping me from reading this part😤

Aside from that, I love the dynamics on this part, I can say that they all will be happy🥰, except Sanie😬

ateez as pirates who fall for you (maknae line)

read hyung line here

genre: pirate!ateez x gn!reader (fem!reader for jongho), fluff, angst, continuation of the pirate trope brainrot (but i must say i went all out for the plots this time)

length: 14.4k

c/w: heavy and mature themes - mdni, explicit language (swearing), death, violence, blood & injuries, weapons, illegal acts (piracy, attempted murder), alcohol, near-drowning, angst bc i mean angst, specific c/w for mingi’s au: hurt/comfort, allusions to depression

a/n: i’m very sad i never got to use this joke somewhere so - why are pirates called pirates? because they just arrrr 🙈🙉🙊 also to those who like connecting dots and whatnot there are a few easter eggs related to hyung line 🥚 big thanks to yumi @sorryimananti-romantic for getting me through the last three months of trying to work and write bc it’s been a ship time ha ha 😬👍

taglist: at the end

san

pov: you run away with san and the cromer

through your waning breath, you reach a trembling hand up to cup san’s jaw

“s-san, don’t do it”

he lets out a racking sob as he shakes his head, expression marred with agony and torment that you can physically feel in his white-knuckled grasp that covers your own hand

the tears that drip off his jaw become lost to the ground, which is damp from moisture and your blood

you swallow the metallic taste in your mouth, “the cromer isn’t meant for changing fate.” it hurts to take a breath and you wince as you stutter. “it never goes th- the way you want it to…you know that by now”

san’s voice is broken and pained, “i don’t fucking care. it’s not going to stop me from trying”

he grips your hand even tighter when he starts to feel it fall away from his cheek

it’s becoming tiring to keep your eyes open

maybe you can rest…just for a little bit

san will forgive you, right?

you close your eyes

just for a little while

just until the pain stops

faintly, you think you can feel your body being jostled against something warm

but it’s far away

far away

far

san clutches your limp body as he lets out a primal wail of anguish

you cannot die

you will not die

he snatches the glowing hourglass and flips it with desperation screaming in every cell of his body

and then his world goes white.

you don’t notice when the footsteps behind you suddenly fall silent

you’re too busy reasoning with the captain, whose back you are facing as he walks ahead and leads your crew further into the dim tunnels of the cave

“it’s much safer if we go over the mountain. we’ll have the advantage of higher ground to ambush the horizon”

your captain, taesung, doesn’t look at you when he answers over his shoulder, “it’s much quicker through the tunnels. we don’t have the luxury of time if we want to attack their crew before they leave the island”

“and what if they attack - the horizon can easily ambush us as long as they’ve got the cave’s exit guarded”

you immediately turn around to look at san, knowing that he’ll support your argument

only to find that he’s not there

he’s several metres behind the back of the group and frozen to the spot

even in the shadowed darkness of the musty cave, you can clearly see the ashen and shaken features of his face

approaching him slowly, your fire torch held out in front of you, you gently call, “san?”

at the sound of your voice, his eyes lock onto yours

he looks terrified

san is lost in a distorted warp of visions

he can’t make sense of nor connect what he’s seeing

but there is blood

there’s so much blood

it’s everywhere

you’re there

it’s your blood

there’s someone screaming; raw with despair

he’s screaming

the ground digs into his knees and he feels wet and sticky from your blood but also his tears and there are so many tears and the walls are cold from moisture and it’s so dark and musty even with the smell of iron in the air and god you’re dying

you’re going to die

“san?” you repeat, now in front of him and tenderly cupping his jaw

and san has to stop you from dying

his pupils focus on you once again before he desperately tries to gain his bearings

he looks around with increasing franticness

he’s in a cave and the only light he can see comes from the torch you’re holding and the others shared amongst the crew

water drips from the ceiling and along the rugged walls towards the damp ground, filling the cave with a stale and mouldy smell

all his senses scream the same thing to him

it’s just like when you died

his own voice sounds foreign to him when he manages to choke out, “let’s listen to captain”

your eyebrows pinch together at san’s sudden compliance, especially more so when he lowers the volume of his next words so that you’re the only one who can hear his soft don’t argue with him

there’s something about the way he silently pleads with his eyes that makes you nod numbly

you slip the hand that isn’t holding the torch into his and prompt him to walk again with a light tug forward towards the rest of the crew, who are not too far ahead

when the both of you have nearly caught up, san readjusts his hand in your grasp so that his is atop of yours

and so you two walk, san leading you with a sturdy hand; a line of defence between you and the rest of the crew…and the depths of the cave

the thin sheet of cotton that you lay upon does little to soften the discomfort of the cave’s floor as you and the crew prepare for a few hours of sleep, but your pillow makes up for it

your head is cushioned by san’s thigh, who’s seated upright against the wall after offering to keep watch

he’s gazing down at you with a tender smile as he slowly runs his fingers through your hair like a soothing lullaby

your eyes scan his, still trying to catch any changes in his expression that could possibly explain his strange demeanour from earlier

you want to ask him what’s wrong but there’s only so much privacy you can get in a cave with the rest of your crew

instead, you give his hand a squeeze

san’s smile fades a little and you wonder whether it’s the illusion of the light and shadows from the torches that makes his face look so gaunt

his eyes flicker around guiltily and then he looks at you whilst reciprocating your squeeze

he’s mouthing something, you realise

do you trust me?

you tighten your fingers around his in reassurance

with my life

the dimpled caverns return to san’s cheeks, and then he’s whispering to you softly, “sleep”

you don’t recall dozing off, but you must not have been asleep for very long before you’re woken by a light shake to your shoulder

the groggy mumble that starts to leave your lips is hushed by a warm kiss on your forehead

you’re met with the sight of san holding a finger against his lips when you open your eyes and your brain struggles to comprehend what’s happening

there’s a faint glow coming from under his bulging shirt, which could only be one thing

the cromer

as your neurons start firing again, you come to the realisation that apart from you and san, nobody else is awake yet

quietly, he helps you up to your feet

the silent question he asked before you fell asleep replays in your head, and although it does nothing to clear up your confusion, it helps to ease your anxiety because you meant it when you mouthed your response

you trust san with your life

so you turn away from your crew members and start walking, each step deliberate and careful, your hand clutched safely within san’s while he retraces your steps from today

and when san deems you two far enough and out of immediate danger of being caught, he pulls the cromer out of his shirt to use as a makeshift torch

you both make a run for it

when you emerge out of the cave’s entrance hours later, thighs burning from the strain, you almost stumble to your hands and knees from the blinding brightness of the afternoon sun

san tightens his hold on you and urges, “this way, love”

together, you climb the outcrop on the left and disappear further into the mountains because you can’t afford to rest near the cave

few words are exchanged as san nimbly navigates the rickety ledges and overgrown roots, muscles flexing as he pushes forward and helps you with an extended hand

you realise soon after that whilst he leads you two away from the cave, he travels parallel to the edges of the mountain trees - a guideline that keeps the long port of the island just within sight

“san,” you finally break the silence to point towards an overhang you spot, “we should take a break”

he’s sweating from exertion and lack of sleep, so he nods with a grateful smile and leads you towards it

the rock provides a decent amount of shade and conceals you two well enough with the surrounding greenery

only when he sits with a sigh does he finally let go of your hand after hours of holding on

you know that he’s one for constant physical affection, but this…this feels different

it’s like he’s afraid that you will slip away the moment he lets go of you

you turn to look at him

“san, what exactly is going on?”

he’s quiet

he doesn’t know how to tell you - is there even a way to package his next words prettily?

letting out a stuttering breath, san puts it blankly on the table, “i saw you die in my arms”

you’re stunned into silence and your throat feels even drier than before

“was it…” you dare to ask, “was it going to happen in the cave?”

he nods, “i just suddenly saw it and it felt so real. it- it was dark and wet and the smell - the smell was just awful and-”

“hey, hey, san. it’s okay, we’re not in the cave anymore,” you soothe, pressing your forehead to his

you feel him relax under your touch before he tilts his head to kiss your lips

“yeah,” he sighs against you, “you’re right”

when you pull away, the faint glow under his shirt catches your eyes

“why did you bring the cromer?”

if it had only been you and san missing from the crew, taesung might not have bothered going after the two of you

but with the missing cromer too, the captain will spend the rest of his life tracking it down - tracking you two down - if that’s what it will take

taesung isn’t stupid enough to just let go of the cromer and the inexplicable power it holds to travel between dimensions

san shimmies the hourglass out of his shirt and holds it carefully in his hands, “i need a fail-proof safety net, just in case something goes wrong and…i still don’t end up saving you”

“a safety net?” an uneasy feeling settles in your stomach, “san? what are you not telling me?”

he runs his fingers along the metal casing over and over again as he avoids looking at you

“i…i’ve used it before,” san finally admits, “i used the cromer to bring you back to life”

without thinking, you blurt, “it’s only meant for travelling between dimensions. nobody knows what the repercussions are if you try to mess with fate!”

“well, i did it.” he snaps, “you’re here, alive, and i would do it again and again to save you”

at his words, you soften

because san didn’t just see you die

he lived through seeing you die

you can’t even begin to imagine if you had been the one to experience san die in your arms

“i’m sorry,” you apologise. “thank you for saving me, and for loving me”

san’s eyes are red when he looks at you, “i’m sorry, too, for snapping at you. i know this is a lot for you to process”

you shake your head with your own watery smile

“i’m alive, and i promise i’ll stay alive”

“and i promise i’ll keep you alive,” he nudges your cheek with a playful peck

you laugh, because san makes you happy even in the most uncertain of times, and you ask, “what’s the plan now?”

“find a ship that’s willing to get us the hell out of here”

he makes a move to stand and you place your hand on the ground to push yourself up to your feet too

except your hand shifts with your weight and you end up cutting your palm open on the sharp edge of the rocks

hissing, you draw your hand back towards your chest

“shit, let me have a look,” san drops to his knees and takes your hand in his

he gently blows away the soil and rubble around your wound as you wince

it’s nothing too serious, but it’s deep enough that blood immediately begins to pool in the broken skin and seep further out onto your palm

the glow of the cromer pulses

“san,” you start when you see the cogs moving in his head

he removes one hand to pull the cromer out and presents it to the both of you

“i’m not losing you to infection from a cut, not after everything that we’ve done so far to get to here,” he quips

there’s only time to let out an exasperated sigh before he’s taking your good hand to turn the cromer together

your world goes white

the next moment when you open your eyes after blinking, you’re still there resting under the overhang in the mountain forest

san’s sitting next to you, the only sign of the cromer a faint glow under his shirt

and your hand…

there’s no cut

your head whips towards san and his eyes widen when he sees the unbroken skin of your palm

san makes a move to stand, but this time, he gathers your hands and pulls you up with him

“it worked,” you breathe out once you’re on your feet

“it worked!” san repeats, engulfing you into a crushing hug

the amount of relief he feels is uncontainable, because the cut is reassurance that he can change fate with the cromer

in high spirits, san tucks it back into the safety of his shirt after wrapping it in a length of sash and then he secures it snugly under his belt

you two need to look the part of inconspicuous travellers, and a glowing hourglass would most definitely draw unwanted attention

you and san cut through the back streets and alleyways of the small village that separates the mountain and the coast, keeping an eye out for not only your crew members - or ex-crew, you suppose - but also the members of the horizon

“remember,” san whispers into your ear as you both approach port, “if anyone asks, i’m your husband and we’re travelling merchants”

you’re too nervous to answer but you nod anyway, letting san take the lead once again

with the confidence of somebody most definitely not lying, san strides up to a sailor who is yelling at his men to load the crates faster and spins a story right out of his ass

somehow, san manages to concoct a convincing recount of how your goods were stolen by thieves, leaving you both without any means of making money, so now you are left with no choice but to go back to your hometown which happens to be on the way to the ship’s destination, which you know because you overheard the sailors talking earlier

when the sailor glances in your direction, you try to nurse your expression into one of simultaneous distress and gratitude in hopes of selling the story even further

he simply stares at the both of you and you think that he’s going to turn down your request, but then the sailor gives a sweet smile and extends his hand out in greeting, “daeho. welcome aboard”

that’s how you and san find yourselves in the ship’s hold, legs crossed side by side on the wooden floor and surrounded by a multitude of crates and barrels

neither of you realise that you’re holding your breaths and it’s not due to the stale air in the poorly ventilated hold

only when the shout of “anchors aweigh” is heard and the ship slowly starts to pull away from the dock do you finally relax, the feeling of hope slowly seeping into your bodies

because all that’s left now is to wait for the ship to dock at the next port and then you and san can disappear and start a new life

at the notion of safety, your stomach finally calls for attention with a grumble

san teases, “sounds like someone needs a bit of food,” just as his stomach answers with a growl of its own

you break out into laughter and pull him up with you to snoop inside the crates for something edible

lifting the lid to one of the crates, you peer inside to find what looks like a layer of burlap

you reach down with a hand to remove the covering and dig deeper, only to jerk your arm back when you feel the burning pain of a cut

“oh fuck, what?” you hiss as you look into the crate again, “why the hell are there so many knives?”

san is beside you within a split second, already turning you around to cradle your hand in his

the cut extends across your palm and there’s something sickening yet eerily familiar about the way the blood rapidly starts to pool and seep past the broken skin

goosebumps spread across your body when it hits you

“san,” you look up at him with a trembling voice, hardly audible over the pounding of your heart, “it’s the same cut”

his eyes bore into yours with reflected horror when your words sink in

because if it really is the same cut, then that means-

san’s attention suddenly shifts to behind you and that’s the last thing you register before your head explodes with blinding pain

your world turns black.

there’s a ceaseless hammering in your skull when you regain some semblance of awareness and it takes all of your willpower not to let the throb drag you back into unconsciousness

you open your eyes with a groan, trying to clear your vision, only to find san still out cold on the floor beside you

you scrabble closer towards him and brush his fringe out of his eyes

“san,” you shake him a little, “san, wake up”

his mouth tightens into a grimace as he’s slowly brought back to consciousness at the sound of your voice

“fuck…they hit hard,” he props himself up with another curse before he asks you in a panic, “are you hurt?”

you start to shake your head but then think better of it, “my head hurts like a bitch, but i’m okay”

san pulls you into his chest and wraps his arms around you

you let yourself sink into the safety of his embrace, pretending that everything is okay even if just for a moment

“i’m sorry, i’m so sorry,” san repeats the apology into the crown of your head

you can’t do anything but return hushed whispers of comfort and hug him tighter

a sudden clang draws you out of his arms as you both turn in the direction of the sound

that’s when you realise you’re no longer in the hold

you’re in a cell

the brig of the ship is much darker and the air is suffocatingly musty from the lack of ventilation and the perpetually damp floors and walls

damp from what exactly, you really don’t want to know

you hear the heavy thud of boots amplifying as the person approaches your cell, your eyes straining to make out their face in the dark

they squat in front of your bars

the sweet smile on daeho’s face makes him look crazed now and you shrink back to put some distance between you two

“did you have a good rest?” he asks, sounding genuinely curious

at san’s seething growl of anger, daeho raises his hands up in faux surrender and states, “i just want the cromer”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about,” san glowers

the other man wriggles his fingers at san’s waist, “you’re not very good at hiding it in your shirt”

almost as if it knows it is being talked about, the cromer flashes from under the layers of cloth

“why didn’t you just take it from us earlier,” you bite out

daeho clicks his tongue with a disappointed smile, “but then where’s the fun in that?”

he stretches a hand out and waits with his palm upturned just outside of the cell bars

“now give it to me,” he demands

san stares in retaliation, not once looking away as he slowly reaches for the cromer

he takes it out of his shirt and unwraps the sash from around it, then starts to extend the hourglass out towards daeho’s hand

as you watch with bated breath, you notice the subtle tightening of san’s grip around the metal casing and you realise he intends to flip it

except you’re not the only one who comes to the same conclusion

you see the exact moment the facade drops from daeho’s face and is replaced by his true derangement

the hand by the pistol at his side starts to move

but so do you

this time, everything turns red as the scorching heat of pain paralyses your entire body

the cromer falls to the floor at the same time as you do

from outside the cell, daeho laughs viciously, but it’s drowned out by the agonising cry that comes out of san’s chest

san desperately gathers you in his arms, hands pressing against the bullet hole to stem the blood flow

but there is so much blood

it’s everywhere

the ground digs into his knees and he’s wet and sticky from your blood but also from his own tears and there are so many tears and even with the pungent smell of iron in the air he can still smell the mustiness of the cell and he can’t get enough oxygen into his lungs because god you’re dying

and he’s suddenly struck with the heart-wrenching thought

did he unwittingly condemn you to your own fate?

or is it like the cut on your palm - is he unable to change fate no matter what decisions he makes differently?

the sob that wrenches itself out of san hurts you more than anything

“i love you,” you say, because your words are numbered and you want them all to be san’s

he shakes his head furiously, “shut up, you’re going to be fine”

your words come out effortfully, “please, i want to hear you say it one last time”

“fuck,” san buries his face in your shoulder, “i love you so, so much. i can’t live without you”

he pulls back heartbroken, “i can still change this”

through your waning breath, you reach a trembling hand up to cup san’s jaw

“s-san, don’t do it”

he lets out a racking sob as he shakes his head again, expression marred with agony and torment that you can physically feel in his white-knuckled grasp that covers your own hand

the tears that drip off his jaw become lost to the damp ground

you swallow the metallic taste in your mouth, “the cromer isn’t meant for changing fate.” it hurts to take a breath and you wince as you stutter. “it never goes th- the way you want it to…you know that by now”

san’s voice is broken and pained, “i don’t fucking care. it’s not going to stop me from trying”

he grips your hand even tighter when he starts to feel it fall away from his cheek

it’s becoming tiring to keep your eyes open

maybe you can rest…just for a little bit

san will forgive you, right?

you close your eyes

just for a little while

just until the pain stops

faintly, you think you can feel your body being jostled against something warm

but it’s far away

far away

far

san clutches your limp body as he lets out a primal wail of anguish

you cannot die

you will not die

he snatches the glowing hourglass and flips it with desperation screaming in every cell of his body

and then his world goes white.

mingi

pov: you're the crew's surgeon

you have all the time in the world to yourself

the recent raid was successful - the other vessel had surrendered quickly without putting up a fight and your ship is now well stocked up from the loot of supplies

hongjoong has promised the crew shore leave, a vacation of sorts, and so you and the crew are travelling to port malthov, a haven island for pirates

it’ll take about a week to arrive

and without a foreseeable raid or run-in with enemy vessels, there is no need for your medical duties

which is a good thing, really

but it also means that you have a lot of time

and time is your worst enemy

time is time alone with your own thoughts, time alone with your internal demons, and right now, your mind is a sinkhole of them and you are the very thing being pulled into its depths

you’re sprawled out on the upper deck, arms and legs splayed like a physical manifestation of your efforts to reach the edges of the sinkhole and hold on

you think to yourself that it’s reassuring when you can see blood

because it’s visible, physical, and you can fix it

step one, rinse the area with clean water

step two, disinfect the wound

step three, remove any foreign objects or dead skin

step four, suture as required for nastier injuries

step five, wrap a clean cloth over, under, over, under, then fasten

there’s a procedure and it makes sense

but when it’s invisible, what do you do?

there are no medical diagrams, procedures or journals that teach you how to heal your own hurt

you may be the crew’s surgeon, but you wonder how qualified you truly are if you can’t even fix yourself

the skies are clear today and the sun shines down directly on your exposed skin

it’s uncomfortable but you don’t move, limbs feeling just a little too strung tight to cooperate

you don’t think you have the energy to do much more than to just lie there and exist

and the burn of the sunlight is kind of nice

it tells you that you’re still alive - even if the feeling of living is pain

that’s where mingi finds you twenty minutes later, his face upside down as he leans over to look at your face-

only to very nearly drop a block of wood right onto you

“oh, shit,” he fumbles as the multitude of items he is carrying to his chest falls and clatters onto the deck around your head

you jolt up to save yourself from a bruised forehead and eye him, curiosity well and truly piqued

with a huff, he piles everything in front of you, followed by himself as he sits cross-legged in front of you

he looks suspiciously hopeful and expectant

“can you carve me another dolphin?”

months ago, you had tried carving ornamental animals out of small scraps of wood left over from a hull repair

most of your carvings had turned out hideous and you had tossed them overboard, but mingi had not stopped following you and begging until you gave him one

you could barely even call it a dolphin, but for some reason, he has kept it since like it’s something valuable

“i already made you one,” you start

but he protests, “i lost him!”

you blink

nevermind. maybe not so valuable

“...you lost it?”

you’re not sure whether you’re disappointed or relieved that it’s forever gone to the void

“i lost him, yes. so can you please carve me a new one?”

you blink once more and he looks back at you with wide, pleading eyes

“fine, pass me the knife,” you finally relent

he grins, handing something that feels quite familiar into your outstretched hand

“are these my scalpels?!” you clutch them defensively to your chest. “mingi, i am not carving wood with these”

mingi breaks out into pleased laughter, crescent eyes and gaping mouth as he produces a pocket knife that you can actually use

“you’re ridiculous,” you tell him, setting your medical instruments safely to one side, but you don’t really mean it

you bring the blade of the pocket knife to the edge of the wood and start whittling away

you expect mingi to get up and leave you to your devices, except he doesn’t

he stays and asks you question after question about the carving

which part are you working on now?

how do you shape the tail?

what was the first thing you tried to carve?

if you could carve something else after this, what would it be?

and it goes on for hours - as the wood gradually takes shape of the animal, as the harsh sun lowers and is replaced by the cool breeze of evening

…as mingi fills up your sinkhole and you are no longer grasping at the edges to stay afloat

it happens without you even realising, but he lets you take refuge in him from your own thoughts

and later that night, when the crew are preparing to sleep for the night, mingi will place the newly-carved dolphin at the head of his hammock

he will itch to rummage through the small chest that holds his personal belongings and treasures

he will want to unwrap the small object he has hidden away at the very bottom of his chest and put it side by side with the dolphin

but he won’t, because otherwise you’ll see the two dolphins and realise that he was lying about having lost the first one, so he’ll opt to keep it hidden

mingi thinks that he might even ask you to carve him something else tomorrow

he’ll say that his dolphin needs somebody by its side

what he won’t say though, is that he knows you need somebody by your side

and if he can offer you a few hours of mindlessness while you carve with him beside you, then he’ll ask you to make him a whole aquarium of animals

but that’s tomorrow

for now, he lets you rest on him, and you find that it doesn’t seem quite as hard to exist anymore

because sometimes, even surgeons need their own healers

you don’t have another bad day that week

technically, they’re all still bad days, but they aren’t as bad

but as it is with your luck, it all comes back to drag you underwater when the arriba pulls into port malthov and lowers its anchor

of all days, your head feels foggy, your body feels empty and your lungs feel laboured

you’re not even sad

you’re just…hollow

and the worst part is that you have absolutely no reason to be feeling this way

being up in the crow’s nest for once has given you the perfect vantage point to watch as the majority of the crew precariously run off the gangplank with whoops and hollers, splitting off to explore the town

their excitement is infectious - to everybody but you

instead, you had offered to take over yeosang’s lookout duties so that he could go to the town’s tavern

you’ve already rotted the morning and most of the afternoon away and your stomach grumbles in protest at having skipped both meals

it knows that you probably won’t be eating dinner either

“y/n,” a voice calls out to you from the deck, “are you not going into town?”

you peer over the edge of the nest and find mingi’s small form, his head craned upwards in your direction

“lookout duties,” you simply say

but mingi calls your bluff

“the whole point of shore leave is that we all get time off. captain’s still on board to make sure our ship doesn’t catch on fire or some shit, don’t worry”

when you still don’t make a move, mingi starts to climb up the rigging and you startle to your feet

“heavens, okay, i’m coming down”

he’s banned from rigging duties for a reason

when you land on the upper deck, he looks awfully smug with himself

he asks, “can we go eat seafood? not fish, but like the good stuff”

“since when did you like seafood?”

“always?”

mingi did not always like seafood but you let it slide

he guides you across the gangplank and towards the bustling streets of the town, keeping you tucked closely into his side

almost like he knows you’re feeling more fragile than usual

you two come across a market and he tells you to find a table in the outdoor seating area

when he returns to you after a while, both his hands are stacked with platters of shrimp, some crabs and even a lobster

“mingi, what-?” you break out into an astounded laugh

you can’t even find it in yourself to finish your sentence because it looks like he’s bought enough food to feed half your crew

he sets the plates down in front of you, one by one, until you can barely see the table itself

and you watch, still incredulous, as he picks up a steamed shrimp, meticulously peeling off the shells that he discards onto his plate

…before placing the peeled shrimp onto the plate in front of you

“eat,” he encourages

mingi picks up another shrimp to peel, looking away from you so as not to pressure you

but he can’t help but look and smile widely when you do eventually bring the food up to your mouth and take a bite

it tastes good

shrimp has always been one of the things you miss the most when you’re sailing and as the salty taste of the ocean spreads across your tongue, you start to feel your appetite returning

by the time you’ve swallowed, there’s already another shrimp on your plate, peeled and ready for eating

mingi smiles knowingly when you groan around your next bite

the sun may have already started to disappear into the horizon, but right now with mingi’s plate piling up with discarded shells and yours with juicy shrimp meat, the hollow cavity in your chest slowly filling with warmth, the sun is only just starting to rise for you

and mingi will keep filling your plate until your sun has fully risen into the sky

because sometimes, healing needs the help of an extra pair of hands

the day before your crew is scheduled to leave port malthov, you find yourself sitting on the sandy shores of the coastline, far away from where the arriba is docked

the wind tugs at your hair and the hems of your clothing in the direction of the ocean

you wonder what it would be like to just let yourself go and float along with the wind

your thoughts are interrupted by the soft squeaks of bare feet in the sand approaching you and mingi lowers himself down to sit by your side

no matter where you hide, he somehow always finds you

you give him a small smile when he calls your name in greeting, but it’s all you can really manage to do

it’s hard for you to talk today

but he already knows that

“can i tell you a story?” mingi isn’t really asking you

without waiting for a response he knows you can’t give, he starts to talk

“i don’t think i’ve told you about the time when yunho and i went skinny-dipping at night. i swear we saw the kraken that night”

he has told you this story before

more times than you can count on your fingers and toes combined - to the point where you have some of his exact phrases and expressions memorised

mingi knows he’s told you this story before

but he drones on anyway, adding his usual touches of dramatic flair and exaggerated details - words that he hopes keep you grounded to the spot so that you don’t disappear with the wind

(“did you know that yunho’s chest goes red when he screams in fright?”)

you want to make silly little comments about his silly little story

you want to laugh in harmony with mingi’s own rumbling sounds

except you can’t

it’s like whatever you want to say goes through a paper shredder right before it comes out of your mouth

and mingi knows

but he is willing to take all the time in the world to tape your words back together, shredded piece by shredded piece, until he can make you feel heard and seen

and even if you don’t talk, he is there to do enough talking for the both of you

some things don’t need to be said - he understands either way

because sometimes, healing looks like walking backwards on any progress that’s been made and that’s okay

after all…mingi’s been there before, too

the arriba sets sail again and hongjoong allows the crew one last night of rest before your usual duties resume

the stock of fresh produce and meat won’t last for longer than a couple of days anyway, so you all feast your stomach’s fill of food and alcohol

someone brings out an accordion and you all gather together on the upper deck as jongho sings to the music, background filled with the lively rattling of shared plates and mugs being passed around

the air is chilly but it’s crisp and fresh whenever you take a breath of it into your lungs

where being with the multitude of your crew usually makes you feel lonely, tonight, it feels okay

and from beside you, mingi sings along quietly to the music

his voice is not like jongho’s, which is soulful, emotional and powerful

mingi’s voice is deep, honest and raw as he sings the lyrics to the song of a man who is drowning and yearning to be saved

he looks at you during the last bridge, when the key changes from sorrowful to hopeful and the words tell of a man who is saved by his lover

you smile back at him, genuinely content in this moment

and even if it is only briefly, even if you will still have bad days in the future, you think that today is a good day

because healing takes form in all different ways, and being loved is one of them

maybe one day, mingi will be able to confess that he loves you

when he’s confident that you’ll be able to accept his love

not in the way where he expects you to reciprocate the same feelings for him, no

but in the way where you are able to accept the fact that you are worthy of being loved

there are no medical diagrams, procedures or journals that teach you how to heal your own hurt

but you have mingi and he is making one for you

it’s written with the ink of love on the very pages of his own heart and he will not stop writing until the day you are well and truly happy

and even if it takes forever?

well

mingi’s got a huge fucking heart

and it’s all yours

wooyoung

pov: you find a stowaway on your ship

“we’re headed off course again”

“again?” you look at your helmsman with furrowed brows

yunho nods, sighing out his next words, “i can’t get a read on north. the needle keeps flickering”

you look at the compass that’s mounted at the helm and true to his words, the tip of the arrow seesaws back and forth over the cardinal point

a quick glance down tells you that the newer compass you’ve got in your pocket is also behaving in the same manner, needle twitching despite the practised steadiness of your hands

so you know for sure that it’s not a fault in the instrument at the helm itself

but even if it were to be faulty, you would never replace it

not when it’s one of the only things you have remaining of your parents after they perished at sea

“maybe we should ask him,” yunho suggests, beckoning his head towards the deck

although seonghwa hums thoughtfully, having joined you both at the helm mid-conversation, you look at him incredulously

“you trust that person?”

yunho shrugs, “it’s not like he’s given us a reason to not trust him”

well

considering said man had been found stowing away in the cargo five days after your ship had left alcarres, who then also tried to plead for mercy by reasoning that he was ‘valuable’, you think that there’s plenty of reasons to not trust him

yunho rectifies his argument once he sees the pinched expression on your face, “as in, since we’ve found him on board”

you close your eyes and exhale

admittedly, yunho has a point

and there’s been one too many times where the man has flippantly suggested navigational changes or casually observed shifts in the winds and waters - which all turned out to be accurate - for it to be sheer luck

you open your eyes and call out to the upper deck

“stowaway”

yunho winces as seonghwa chides you with a slight elbow to your side at your choice of name, or lack thereof

said man looks at you from where he’s helping san and yeosang swab the deck, mouth tightening with wariness

the last time you had spoken the same word, it was along with an order to throw him into the brig with his wrists bound behind his back

but considering that that was the extent of his punishment for stowing away on your ship and he is now mingling amongst your crew with minimal security measures on your orders too, really, he’s gotten off scot-free

the stowaway approaches the quarterdeck with hesitant steps

you jerk your head towards the helm, “help yunho navigate the rest of the way to vlasgar. just until we can dock and work out what’s wrong with the compasses''

despite the curtness of your order, his face scrunches up into an enthusiastic grin

“of course, captain!”

you’re taken aback by his demeanour because you’re trying to find a reason to distrust him

but he’s not giving it to you

you watch as the stowaway makes himself comfortable against the helm rails and easily slips into conversation and banter with yunho amidst intermittent pointers to adjust the rudder

seonghwa nudges you from behind, “give him a little credit”

you scratch your neck awkwardly before calling out to your helmsman

“keep me updated on the ship’s course”

yunho nods and then you clear your throat, quickly glancing at the stowaway

“and thanks…wooyoung.”

you turn and leave the quarterdeck before you can fully catch a glimpse of the delighted smile the man beams at you

because if he’s not giving you reasons to dislike him, then you’re going to ensure he doesn’t start giving you reasons to like him

except…wooyoung attacks when you least expect it

it’s the night before your crew reaches vlasgar, and true to his claims when he was first discovered onboard, wooyoung has proven his value by navigating your ship through the waters without the aid of the malfunctioning compass

his innate sense for shifts in the wind and waters, combined with his understanding of celestial navigation and use of dead reckoning has meant that he is extraordinarily precise with his route

honestly, he’s freakishly accurate to the point where it’s a little unsettling

at least that’s what you tell yourself

you and hongjoong have given the crew the night off from their usual duties in preparation for a few busy days of maintenance and intel-gathering once your ship docks at vlasgar

wooyoung offers to cook in the galley and whip up a meal as fancy as he can from the select ingredients on board

you don’t have a good reason to deny him, not when the rest of your crew looks at you with eager faces at the thought of a meal that isn’t just the usual salted meat, so you send mingi along to help him locate the ingredients

also to keep an eye on wooyoung to ensure he isn’t using this as an opportunity to poison your crew, but you’re not about to admit that aloud

and that’s exactly when wooyoung chooses to attack

he attacks your heart with his cooking

granted, the standards are rock bottom, but wooyoung utilises a deadly combination of rosemary, thyme and bay leaves to prepare a hearty broth with preserved beef

he serves hardtack on the side to be softened and eaten with the broth, and jongho even manages to catch a few fish that wooyoung then scores and grills with lemon slices over the fire

mingi must also be in good spirits because he takes out the reserve of dried fruits and nuts that he’s usually pedantic over and allows wooyoung to arrange them artfully in a wooden bowl as nibblers to go with the profusion of rum that will inevitably be downed tonight

the impressive spread of food is placed on the upper deck where the entire crew sit in a rough circle together

you take one bite into the beef and curse without realising

“fucking hell, what did he put in this?”

wooyoung freezes mid-spoonful across from you in the circle

realising your words sound petrifying without context, you awkwardly amend them with your eyes glued to your bowl, “i could eat this every day,” before shoving another spoon of broth into your mouth to shut yourself up

there’s a chorus of teasing oooh’s at your words and somebody sing-songs, “captain likes youuu-r cooking”

“i don’t,” you scoff, completely ready to bite the bait and engage in this childish argument

but it’s him who comes to your defence

“it’s not my cooking, it’s just the spices that make a difference,” wooyoung insists

then he’s gesturing to the grilled fish and telling everyone to try, diverting the attention away from you

you accidentally make eye contact with him and initially flicker your eyes away out of embarrassment, but when you chance a peek back at him he’s still looking at you, his expression uncharacteristically calm and gentle when usually all you can hear these days is his raucous laughter bouncing across the deck

…not that you can recognise his laughter or anything

you stare at each other for a few more seconds before you lift up your bowl of beef broth and give him a little smile

you leave it up to him to interpret it however he wants

and just before you look away, you see the apples of his cheeks rounding with elation

wooyoung’s potentially earned himself a few points with his cooking (and perhaps with his unfailing happiness too), but maybe you’re just looking for excuses as to why you’re allowed to like him now

when you decide to take a walk in town long after midnight, your quarters having felt stuffy ever since you’d docked at vlasgar, you’re surprised to find that you’re not the only one still awake

“i’m going out for some air and maybe a drink, did you want to come?”

hongjoong shakes his head, “hwa’s gone out too, i’ll stay behind”

you pause, wondering whether it’d be rude if you didn’t extend the invitation to wooyoung, considering he’s literally two feet away

“what about you?” you end up offering

wooyoung excitedly hops up to his feet, “yeah, i’ll come with”

to your own surprise, you find that you’re not particularly disappointed by his response

the streets of vlasgar are empty, considering the late hour, and your leather shoes clack in unison against the cobblestones as you walk together

you’re not really sure what to say to fill the silence but wooyoung easily talks about anything and everything and you’re content to just listen

your feet eventually take you towards a small alehouse and you both settle down at one of the tables further away from the live music playing

the oil lamps flicker dimly along the wall, casting small dancing shadows on the surface of your mugs of ale

“my father never liked the taste of ale,” wooyoung suddenly muses after a swallow

you note the use of past tense

“is he…still around?” you ask tentatively

he makes a noise of refutation, the quietest he’s been tonight, before he reveals, “he took his own life”

“oh, wooyoung,” you breathe out

he curls his hands around his mug, “it’s already been two years, but it still hurts”

in a moment of empathy, you gently place your hand over his

your tone is bitter when you reply, “time doesn’t mean that it hurts any less, it just gets easier to pretend that it doesn’t”

he looks up at you, surprised by the touch of your hand but also by the sorrow reflected in your eyes

“have you also lost somebody?”

you nod at his question

“my parents,” you hesitate before adding, “their ship got swept under a rogue wave, the same night it turned into a tidal wave that destroyed the city of light”

wooyoung looks at you with wide eyes, “the one along the north coast? six- no, seven years ago?”

there’s not a single person who doesn’t know about it; when an apocalyptic wave had wiped out an entire city overnight

he places his other hand over yours when you nod again, creating a sandwich of comforting hands in the shared experience of loss and grief

you smile wistfully and he returns it

“well now that we’ve exchanged childhood trauma, care to tell me the real reason why you were on my ship, stowaway?” you half-joke

wooyoung laughs, each breath a pronounced cackle of joy, and you find the corners of your lips pulling themselves upwards too

“i’m being chased by a lunatic who’s out for my blood,” he deadpans

“that would have been nice to know before i let you join my crew”

wooyoung grins wickedly, “i’m part of your crew?”

“i’m definitely rethinking it,” you banter before you add on seriously, “only if you want to be”

he pulls his hands back to salute you loudly, “it would be my honour to be your human compass! jung wooyoung at your crew’s service!”

“shut the fuck up!” you hiss in embarrassment, but there’s no bite to your words and you’re laughing into your own hands

you tip back the remains of your ale and then beckon to wooyoung, “let’s head back, shall we?”

“yeah,” he gives you a dazzling smile

he pushes his chair back to stand up and you head towards the doors together

just as you walk past one of the tables, a man abruptly stands up and knocks into wooyoung’s shoulder harshly

your hand flies out to steady him as the man stares at wooyoung, then turns to leave without another word

“what’s his problem,” you mutter angrily. “are you okay?”

wooyoung reassures you with a placating squeeze to your arm before leading you out of the alehouse

as you retrace your steps back to the ship, you pass by a rickety stall that makes you falter

the wood of the table is rotting and standing on its last legs and there’s a roughly thatched roof propped up above its goods

even though the stall is enshrouded by the shadows of the clouded moonlight, you still wonder how you missed it on your way to the alehouse, considering it’s the only stall along the empty street, and with a vendor, no less

there’s an old woman bearing the burdens of living across her skin and in her posture, sitting hunched on an equally as weathered crate beside the table

you’re drawn towards it - by its ambience, seller or the familiar instruments lain on the table, you don’t know

the woman’s head is covered by a dusty shawl but you don’t miss the way her eyes bore beadily into wooyoung as you both approach

you reach out and skim your fingertips across the cool brass of the compasses on the table

a frown adorns your face when you notice there’s something strange about all of them

like the compass in your own pocket and the one mounted on your ship’s helm, the needles all swing indecisively over the north point, as if some unknown force is meddling with the magnetic field of the earth itself

you let out a little scoff of disbelief, “they’re all useless”

with a final glance at the table, you and wooyoung start to walk off

but then a raspy voice beckons at your backs, a ghost of a hand that tickles the hair on the nape of your necks, “the only time a compass is useless is when you have something better nearby”

unable to ignore the sensation, you look over your shoulder, “what do you mean by something better?”

a toothless smile; one that appears to know a secret that it doesn’t want to let you in on

“true north”

her cryptic answer alone is enough to tell you that you’re wasting your time

she doesn’t say anything else when you walk off for good this time after bidding her a tight-smiled farewell, not that you would have stopped either way if she did

wooyoung hurries to catch up to you

as he falls into step with you, he asks, “do you believe what she’s saying?”

“of course not, it doesn’t make any sense,” you glance at the tavern you’re walking past, telling you that the port is close now. “how can you have true north?”

wooyoung’s brows knit together, “well, there’s that old legend that says true north isn’t actually a direction, but a-”

he’s cut off by an amused voice behind you both

“so it really is you…jung wooyoung”

when you turn around, you’re met with the sight of a man donning a long, velvet coat and buckled shoes - articles of clothing very obviously pirated from the wealthy

it’s evident that he and wooyoung are acquainted in one way or another, but from the way wooyoung’s face loses its colour, they’re acquainted in a bad way

immediately, your hackles are raised

the man’s tone is saccharine as he continues, “when one of my men said that they had spotted you, i didn’t believe him”

“what do you want?” you snarl at the same time wooyoung murmurs next to you, “it’s the lunatic. jang hyunsoo”

hyunsoo cocks his head as he stares you dead in the eye, “i want him. dead.”

your face darkens, unwilling to back down, “and why are you so intent on killing him?”

“oh?” he raises an eyebrow in delight at your answer. “you must not know who he truly is”

sick of his bullshit, you reach down towards your belt to unsheath a throwing dagger and hold it in front of your body, “i don’t care who the fuck he is. he’s my crew member and that’s all that ma-”

“he’s the man that the legends speak of. blessed by the sea gods, bearer of the oceans’ wisdom - jung wooyoung is true north”

those two words again

you don’t understand why everyone you come across today seems to be so fixated on the idea of…

suddenly, you remember.

legends tell a story of true north - not a direction pointing to the earth’s axis, but a person

a man blessed by the gods of the sea with the power to be all-knowing when it comes to the waters

he possesses the innate ability to navigate without use of any instruments or celestial bodies; the wisdom of which passageways and courses to sail; the subconscious understanding of mother nature and her elements

the powers are passed down through his bloodline for generations, but the blessing does not stay sacred for long

human greed and coveting eventually lead to the murder of the bearer of true north at the time, and the powers are transferred to the murderer, permanently staining the bloodline and commencing the paradoxical cycle of sinning for a blessing

however, this does not go unpunished

the gods of the sea are enraged and in their uncontainable wrath they cause-

your memory ends there no matter how hard you try to recall the rest of the legend

wooyoung interrupts

“if you kill me, there’s no guarantee you’ll survive the consequences,” he tries to reason with the other. “just have a look at how close we are to sea”

you’re lost but hyunsoo sneers, “it’s not your power that i’m hungry for. it’s only fair that i spill your blood, after your father spilled the blood of my family”

at the mention of his father, wooyoung growls, “what the fuck do you think you’re saying”

“how do you think your father became true north? or better yet, let me jog your memory,” hyunsoo’s expression becomes hauntingly blank, “what happened seven years ago that wiped out a whole city because the sea gods had been angered?”

your breath hitches as you involuntarily whisper, the remaining piece of the puzzle slotting into memory, “...a tidal wave”

“yes,” he acknowledges your words but keeps his eyes drilling into wooyoung, “because true north - my father - was killed”

as were your parents by extension of the consequences

“killed by my father,” wooyoung concludes, voice frail as everything rapidly starts to reveal itself

one more revelation makes him look at you with a face of horror and remorse, “y/n…your parents…”

without hesitation, you push aside your own anguish for him

“wooyoung,” you warn, “it’s not your fault”

because you see it

the very moment his eyes start clouding over as he willingly takes on the burden of guilt wrongfully left behind by his deceased father - the same guilt that eventually took the man’s own life

wooyoung, who, with a heart and soul too pure, would rather take the blame himself than to push it onto somebody else

you step in front of him, knife raised in protection

because despite your best efforts, wooyoung had not only secretly stowed himself away on your ship but has also secretly stowed himself away in your heart

“what are you doing?” he tries to tug you behind him

there’s a teasing lilt in your voice as you stand steadfast, “stowaway, you’ve ruined navigating for me now - made it too easy for me and the crew. so you better fuckin’ take responsibility and be my compass for as long as i sail”

“how touching,” hyunsoo coos patronisingly before he draws the cutlass from his sheath, “looks like i’ll just have to kill the both of you”

you don’t stop wooyoung this time from stepping up to stand by your side, his own hands armed with dual daggers and his demeanour now iron-willed to fight

because if you’re prepared to fight for him, then wooyoung is prepared to fight twice as hard for you

tonight, either hyunsoo dies, or you both go down trying

the tension in the air is punctuated only by the slight scrape of your soles as you and wooyoung lower your stances and shift further onto your front feet

you had never believed in the sea gods until now, but you pray that they’re watching over you both

and indeed they are

they answer your prayers in the form of a deafening gunshot in the nearby tavern

hyunsoo flinches at the sudden commotion - only slightly, but the distraction in attentiveness is more than enough

now.

as you and wooyoung leap forward together in unison, weapons raised, the needles in your hearts’ compasses waver for one final time before they settle and point resolutely in one direction

your needle at wooyoung; wooyoung’s needle at you

because compasses will always point at true north and that’s exactly what you are to him and him to you

each other’s true north

jongho

pov: you're a mermaid who saves him

you follow the shadow of the ship’s hull, gliding effortlessly through the waters

you know that you shouldn’t be following so closely but it’s hard to refuse the temptation that comes hand in hand with storms

there’s a chance that vessels will toss cargo overboard as a last-ditch effort to save their ship from sinking

and if you’re really lucky, the vessel might sink entirely and you’ll be able to spend the next few days rummaging its ruins, scavenging for shiny treasures and intriguing objects

besides, what’s the worst that could happen?

no sailor or pirate in their right mind would think to cast a fishing net in this weather

you only have your carelessness and recklessness to blame, but regret won’t change anything about your current situation

you feel the strange lurch in your stomach as the fishing net you’re trapped inside is pulled out of the water, up along the side of the ship’s hull, until it levels with the gunwale

there’s someone standing there waiting

his face is still rounded and limbs still gangly with the telltale signs of youth

the fish around you jerk around desperately, a physical manifestation of your terror, while you lock eyes with the young teenager and grip at the net with white-knuckled fists

you are at his complete mercy

he stares in shock at your form, until you beg a single word

“please”

immediately, he draws a small pocket knife and starts to frantically cut through the net

there’s another questioning voice from somewhere on the deck that you can’t make out the words to, but from the way the boy in front of you picks up speed, you’re seconds away from being discovered

“come on, come on, come on,” the boy mutters through gritted teeth

there’s a slight jerk as he cuts through the strands of flax and a few fish slither their way out, the hole starting to become bigger

he lets out a hiss of pain when he accidentally slices through his own hand in his haste

but even then, he does not stop or falter

and then you hear it

the ripping of the material when the weight of yourself and the other fish tear the remainder of the net

you plummet into the ocean

and the last thing you see before the world above becomes blurred by the waters is the boy’s wide eyes peering over the ship’s edge as he watches you fall

jongho struggles to adjust his centre of gravity as the ropes stutter underneath him

he chances letting go of the rigging briefly with one hand so that he can wipe the rain out of his eyes, which is pouring down incessantly and obscuring his vision

overhead, the top sail continues to billow and flap in an angry dance as the rapidly shifting winds tangle it further

he swallows thickly and grips the rigging once again

he needs to climb up and untangle the damned sail, fast

one hand extending outwards to grab the running rigging, jongho supports himself on shaky legs so that he can unfurl the twisted edges of the sail from around the ropes

it’s difficult enough having to chase the mocking flits of the canvas in the gale, but it’s fucking hellish with the added lurching and pitching of the ship as it’s battered by the swells of the sea

he finally manages to get a good grip on the sail and tugs hard, feeling it give way and flush full as it catches the wind properly now that it’s free

except the force of it sends the material swelling right in his face and he slips

by some saving grace, the combined movement of another colossal wave sends his body careening through the air in a wide arch

he does not land on the upper deck in a heap of broken bones

instead, he plummets into the ocean

and the last thing jongho sees before he loses consciousness is the shimmer and flick of a tail

your body reacts instantaneously to the sudden intrusion of something plunging into the waters in front of you, your tail swishing to increase your distance

for a brief second your heart seizes up in fright at the thought of a harpoon

but then you see it - see him

apart from the young teen who had freed you years ago, you have never seen a human up close before

and certainly not one in the ocean; in your home

there is something about the man before you that is beautiful yet haunting

it is as if time and gravity have warped his very existence

you see a weak flail of legs, a desperate hand reaching for the surface, floating tendrils of hair, but even in the face of approaching death, his movements appear slow and graceful in the water

as the pockets of air and bubbles of foam dissipate from around him and cruelly escape upwards without him, the man stills - grand and slow as his form steadily starts to make a descent towards the sandy bottom of the ocean

in folklore amongst your merpeople, humans are as swift, sure and savage on land as they are aboard their monstrous vessels

and yet, watching the ethereal existence of this man before you, you realise that once humans are underwater, they are at the complete mercy of mother nature and her beings

you gingerly swim closer

when you wrap your arm around the man’s limp body, his skin is warm under your fingertips

you’re reminded of the fact that he is at your complete mercy

and so you swim.

the moment jongho regains consciousness, his chest involuntarily contracts in an attempt to take a huge, stuttering breath

he curls onto his side instead, one hand scrabbling in the wet sand and his other arm crushed between the ground and his upper body as he hacks up his lungs with retching motions

the salt water burns even more coming back up than it did going down and his eyes sting with tears

when the convulsions cease, jongho closes his eyes and rests his forehead against the cool sand, trying to regain his breath-

and bearings

the jarring clarity has him sitting up abruptly as he tries to recall where he is and what he’s doing

there was the storm

the tangled sail

him climbing up the riggings

falling down, down, down

and then…

you

your eyes widen when the man’s unfocused gaze suddenly sweeps the waters and lands on the small part of your face that is exposed and peering at him

instinctively, you duck underwater, the notion of hiding your existence from humans ingrained into you

but even though he only sees a glimpse of you, jongho would recognise you from anywhere

it’s hard to forget when he’s kept his eyes peeled on the waters since that day, hoping to see you once again

he can’t believe that the mermaid he once saved would end up being his saviour

but he guesses that’s what people call fate - an alignment of miracles

he glances around at his surroundings to find himself in the safety of a small cove

you dare to emerge your curious eyes again when you see the form of the man stand up with his gaze on the sand, seemingly in search of something

he fumbles along the edge of the coast, reaching down several times to grasp things too small for you to discern

it seems that he becomes satisfied with what he has found, because he then sets them all down in the wet sand - right where the tide kisses the shore in a teasing game of chase - and takes several steps backwards so that he is no longer close to the waters

the man scratches the back of his head as he gestures vaguely to the pile, appearing to want to say something before thinking better of it and turning around to pick at the driftwood further inland

you wait, trying to gauge his actions

but when it becomes clear to you that he is not attempting to catch you off guard, you cautiously swim closer to shore

you are able to rest your forearms comfortably on the shoreline’s sand from how close you get

and then you see it

a small pile of glossy pebbles and patterned shells

a peace offering of pretty things he could find that he thought you might like

you duck under the water again, but this time to hide your shy smile as opposed to an act of instinctual self-preservation

jongho looks at the hefty pile of dried wood that he has gathered in the meantime, deeming it enough to keep a fire going for the inevitable night he will have to spend at the cove

he’s tried his hardest not to look out to the waters, wanting to gain your trust

but he can’t help it this time when his eyes are drawn to the little mound of his sincerity in the sand

…only to find it untouched, and you nowhere to be seen

he tries not to feel disappointed

after all, you have no reason to trust him

so he sets his mind on starting a fire before the sun sets completely instead, trying to ignore the growing dryness in his throat

when he finally nurses a spark into a flame an hour later, jongho almost misses it in his fatigued state

but it’s unmistakable when he walks closer

gone is his own pile of pebbles and shells

in its stead is a jumbled collection of broken combs, rusted locks and a glass bottle

a peace offering of peculiar things you had found that you thought he might need

jongho doesn’t know it, but as he bends down to carefully gather every gift and safekeep them closer to his fire, he is not the only one with a bashful smile on his face

you tell yourself it’s purely curiosity and displaced familiarity that makes you linger and return to the cove the very next morning

you’re well aware what the risks are if you fall in love with a human

how many stories have you heard of mermaids and mermen alike, falling for a human, only for their love to be unilateral or rejected?

their tails slowly lose their lustre as gradual paralysis takes over until they lose complete control

quite literally drowning within their own body, they eventually sink to the bottom of the ocean to perish with the decaying wreckages of sunken ships…

and the countless corpses of sailors, pirates and other unfortunate souls alike

it’s ironic

no matter how much folklore makes out humans and merpeople to be different, you all end up the same in the face of death; buried in the soil of the earth or buried in the sand of the ocean bottom

side by side

jongho stands in that very ocean right now, sleeves and pants rolled up to keep them as dry as possible as he crouches over with the water up to his thighs

he would try to fashion a fishing hook or harpoon of some sort, but with the possibility that you may be close by in the waters, he doesn’t want to risk using anything that could hurt you

so he resorts to using his bare hands

you’ve been watching from the safety of the water for well over half an hour now, curious and slightly endeared by his clumsy attempts to grab at something

you’re not sure what, but you can see the fish as they dart teasingly through his legs and from out of his reach

for beings that are supposedly apex predators, this human doesn’t seem intimidating at all

so, very cautiously, you swim up closer to him

jongho feels himself freezing at the sight of you approaching - not because he’s afraid of you, but because he’s afraid he’ll scare you away

he holds his breath as you hesitate and linger just out of his reach, then swim up and bump his leg playfully with your tail as you circle around him once

he’s reminded of a puppy wanting to sniff out somebody unfamiliar and his eyes follow your form with rounded fondness

“hi,” he breathes out softly, “i’m jongho”

your tail swishes with sudden movement, splashing him with water and he giggles

you can hear it clearly even from under water and your heart nearly stops

if this man - if jongho - was a siren, the sounds of his happiness would be his song of calling

you want to hear it again

jongho sucks in a breath when you dare to emerge from the water’s surface, presenting him with a fish held carefully between your lips and one more in each of your hands

he’s a little dumbfounded at how easily you managed to catch them as he gently takes the one from in between your teeth

the still-flailing fish in his hands is peppered with two tiny neat rows of puncture holes where you had carefully bitten into it

he finds it so fucking cute, especially when you continue to peer up at him with expectant eyes, wanting to know if it was the fish that he was trying to catch this whole time

he wants to thank you, and not just for the fish

so he fumbles through his words when he asks, “would you like to eat with me? unless…” he trails off, “unless you don’t eat fish because…”

are mermaids technically fish?

did he really just offer you the mermaid equivalent of human flesh to eat?

before jongho can panic and try to salvage the situation, you give him a shy smile and nod

jongho makes a fire as close to the shore as possible without the wood at risk of becoming wet

as he spears the fish onto sticks so that he can hold them over the flames, you gather the courage to slide out of the shallow waters so that you can lay on the damp sand closer to him

whilst you can for short periods, you rarely ever fully emerge out of the waters because you leave yourself vulnerable without the full mobility of your body

but jongho makes you feel safe enough to do so

and he must at least partially recognise the amount of trust you are placing in him because he looks at you in awe, the unveiled beauty of your tail now in full display

your scales are a kaleidoscope of cerulean, mauve and periwinkle, reflecting onto the sand below you in a magical dance with each of your slight movements

he notices that the gradient peters out into shades of salmon and coral the closer the scales are to your waist and he cannot tear his eyes away from you

jongho thinks to himself that you were created by the hands of the sea god, who then named the word beautiful after you

and even then, the word does not seem to do you justice

“why are you staring?”

your voice is simultaneously bashful and teasing, yet jongho is utterly mortified that your first words to him are ones exposing his smitten behaviour

his brain kickstarts in panic and he blurts out the first thing that comes to mind

“if your tail gets too close to fire, will you start smelling like grilled fish?”

for a split second, your expression contorts into one of pure horror, before the absurdity of his question breaks down the remainder of your reservations and you lose yourself in laughter

a pretty blush settles over the round of jongho’s cheeks and then he is also laughing with you

together, where the land and sea unite, the sounds of your shared happiness fill the air

his song of calling chimes melodiously in your heart even as you swim away for the night

but the dangerous thing about a siren’s song is that you don’t realise you’ve become captivated…

until it’s too late

you’re looking down at the object in your hands as you swim for the cove

it’s cream-coloured and smooth to touch, with several blunt tips extending from one side

you’ve always wondered what it is and so you decide to see if jongho will know

you don’t notice the large rock formation jutting out of the seabed until it’s almost right in front of you and at the last second, you flex your tail to manoeuvre yourself around it

except you must miscalculate your distance because you end up grazing yourself on the sharp edges of the rock

it doesn’t puncture your scales but it certainly catches you off guard - your organs and senses work in a way that ensures you never collide into anything so long as you are underwater

so then, why?

you look down and your heart drops

tentatively, you spin around once, eyes never leaving their focus

you realise it’s not a trick of the lighting or the water

your scales have started to lose their shimmer

jongho is beginning to think that you won’t show up today when you finally do, one of your treasures cradled in your hands and a smile on your face that doesn’t quite reach your eyes

(you weren’t going to show up, not after realising that you need to stop yourself from falling further in love with jongho if you want to live, but you decide to be selfish one last time and say goodbye, even if you’re the only one who knows it’s a goodbye)

“what’s that?” he gestures towards your hands with his chin as you slide your upper body out of the shallow waters, leaving your tail to be submerged when the waves come in

you uncurl your fingers with a shrug

“it’s a comb,” he answers his own question as he turns it over in his hand, “made out of animal bone, i think”

you look at him curiously as he sits down, unbothered about wetting his clothes, and you ask, “what’s a comb?”

jongho brings it up to his head and pretends to move it up and down

“you run it through your hair to untangle it”

he pauses as his eyes flicker to your hair then back to your face

“i can…show you how to use it…if you want?” he offers

just once, you’ll allow yourself to get close to him just this once

when you nod and sit up, jongho shifts himself so that he is behind you

you try not to shiver when you feel the heat of his chest enveloping your back as he reaches forward to gently gather the hair from around your face and neck

he steadies your head with one of his hands, the other bringing the teeth of the comb through the slight waves of your hair

his touch is soft and loving in the way he tries not to tug too hard when he encounters a knot

his fingertips skim against you intimately but with an innocence that betrays the fact that he has never brushed somebody’s hair before

you feel your shoulders relaxing into his touch and your eyes close, blissfully - and perhaps deliberately - ignorant to the fading radiance of your body

“are you feeling okay?” jongho’s voice sounds even more alluring when it’s right next to your ear and you can’t help but shudder this time. “you seem paler than usual”

he brings a hand down to your waist and turns you towards him so that he can see you better

you try to formulate an answer, “i…”

i think i’m in love with you

of course, you would never tell him that

but before you can tell him that you’re fine, you become distracted by the glimpse of something on his hand that’s still resting on your waist

a scar

“is that- how did you get this?”

you run your thumb lightly over the taut, white line that runs from his wrist to the knuckle of his index finger

as you’re suddenly reminded of the familiar memory of a teenager with rounded cheeks and gangly limbs, the man beside you with those very same eyes looks at you fondly

“i cut myself trying to free a mermaid from a fishing net”

your gaze is unfocused as you process the information

the effects of the shattering revelation are immediate and a terrifying numbness starts to creep up your tail

because what you didn’t know - what nobody in folklore knew - was that the effects of paralysis and onset of death are accelerated when you fall in love with someone again for the second time

years ago, your heart had been claimed by the young man who had freed you at his own expense

you had managed to survive the heartbreak due to the briefness of your encounter, your paralysis fading and tail regaining its beauty when you never saw him again

but the effects of your unilateral love have not vanished entirely as you and your merpeople have believed it to

they have simply lay dormant like a disease, waiting for the right time to resurface when your feelings are rekindled

and so now it snowballs and gains traction at a speed that cannot be stopped, racing to catch up on the numerous years that you have cheated death where you thought you did not love jongho

“why is your tail turning grey?” the voice of the man you love is pinched with muted panic

you never thought you would ever be afraid of your own tail; your own body

yet, when you look down to see the monochrome advancing up each layer of your scales, you are absolutely petrified

your tail is starting to look like a stone statue and you know it won’t be long until that’s exactly what you become - motionless and unmoving

“y/n! why is your tail grey?!” jongho repeats with a shout, in full blown panic due to your lack of response

you can’t- won’t die in front of him

your lower body is almost deadweight with immobility and you bite back tears as you’re forced to crawl pathetically towards the water with your arms

jongho scrabbles to his feet as he hovers next to you, hands wanting to help but not quite touching you because he’s not sure what’s happening and he doesn’t know what he can do for you and you look like you’re in pain but he doesn’t know why-

“don’t!” you bark out sharply

he freezes in shock

you’re frightened and angry and you want to yell at something, someone, but…

you could never yell at jongho

with a much softer, albeit shaky voice, you tell him, “don’t look for me”

and before you can hear the pained noise that escapes jongho’s lips, you drag yourself back into the water

except a few metres after you’ve submerge yourself, the unthinkable happens

you. cannot. breathe.

you’re drowning.

jongho doesn’t care if you’ll hate him forever, doesn’t care if this is the last time you’ll choose to see him, but he will not just stand and watch when it looks like you are leaving to die alone

his body moves with the decisions of his heart before his mind tells him otherwise

he dives into the water after you

the world distorts around him; a moment of weightlessness as the waters easily shift to accommodate his body; the bubbling sound of air pockets reverberating inside his very skull; the shock of cold that overrides every other bodily sense

jongho forces his eyes open with numerous blinks until he can see you

your form is eerily still, and yet, you remain bewitching

he kicks his legs desperately with one arm outstretched and as soon as you are within reach, he tugs you into his chest

you’re limp to touch, lips slack and parted as if the very essence of your soul is escaping through your mouth

jongho will not let you die

lungs starting to burn and heartbeat pounding in his ears, he presses his lips against yours

a kiss of life- 

he closes his eyes

-and love

but you don’t respond

jongho ignores his instincts even as his body screams to part from you and kick upwards for a breath

instead, he moves his jaws to kiss you even harder

and then he feels it

he almost sobs into you when your lips twitch weakly against his

with renewed vigour, you’re sealing your mouth around his bottom lip as you respond, capturing him in a real kiss

below your joined lips, your scales start to bloom with their full brilliance once again

your tail shimmers brighter than before, reflecting intricate patterns of fractals with each slight ripple of the water as you open your eyes to the sight of jongho’s face, beautifully swathed in the incandescence of the rainbow

you can move again

you flick your tail, jongho’s arms still firmly around your waist and you both burst upwards, breaking the water’s surface with spluttering breaths

he desperately treads you both backwards towards the shore even though you can easily hold your own now

“jongho, you-”

he takes one look at you before he cuts your words off and plunges himself back underwater, stunning you into stupor, until he re-emerges with another splutter

“your tail!” he yells with overwhelming relief, face still scrunched as he tries to sweep his fringe up and wipe the water from out of his eyes

“yeah…” voice muted as you process the fact that you’re still alive, “my tail…”

“fuck, you scared me”

jongho’s eyes are bloodshot as they stare into yours, and you know for a fact that they aren’t just red from the irritation of salt water

you bring up a hand to rest it on his chest, right where his heart still thumps rapidly under your touch, and you apologise with a small smile, “sorry…i scared me, too”

he huffs a little before looking at you earnestly

“don’t ever do that again”

the water is now shallow enough that jongho can stand, but it’s deep enough that you can still drift effortlessly

it’s the perfect harmony where land and sea unite; where a human and a mermaid interact

where you, the enchanter, and jongho, the enchanted, find a balance of love

“i won’t,” you promise

on land, humans tell a story of a mermaid who falls in love with a man

a mermaid who is ready to give up her voice in exchange for her happily ever after

but in the sea, merpeople tell a story of a man who falls in love with a mermaid

a man who is ready to give up his life in exchange for his happily ever after

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[sturnioz]

─────── ⵌ fratboy!chris x shy!reader instagram posts. ꒰2꒱ authors note. reader will have no set face claim so all can feel included. also, big thanks to 🍵anon for the giving some of these pictures <3

christophersturniolo ᯤ fukumean・gunna ᯤ

liked by nathandoe8, matthew.sturniolo, nicolassturniolo and 4,897 others.

christophersturniolo 🩸❗

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matthew.sturniolo kid thinks hes tuff in the first pic ⤷christophersturniolo shut up

nicolassturniolo 👹🖕 grr ⤷christophersturniolo u are doin the same thing in the last slide ⤷nicolassturniolo bow

nathandoe8 kinda hard ⤷christophersturniolo 🧱

kittyz i only liked for the fourth pic ⤷christophersturniolo go choke on matts balls ⤷kittyz gladly

yourusername you said you wouldnt post that pic ⤷christophersturniolo i lied

yourusername ᯤ Take A Bite・beabadoobee ᯤ

liked by nicolassturniolo, christophersturniolo, friendusername and 649 others.

yourusername 🩷🩵

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christophersturniolo wtf is that thing on my bed ⤷yourusername you? ⤷christophersturniolo no fckn dumbass the fourth slide

nicolassturniolo i luv ice cream 🍦 ⤷yourusername 🍦i had fun!! thank you for taking me😊

friendusername my fave person ever ⤷yourusername 😊😊 you are mine too

kittyz i told u the lip combo would eat !! ⤷yourusername thank you for making me look pretty😊 ⤷kittyz u always are ???

christophersturniolo delete the 8 pic ⤷christophersturniolo delete it ⤷christophersturniolo delete it ⤷christophersturniolo delete it | view all 13 comments ⤷nathandoe8 hey @/yourusername idk if u saw but chris spammed like 17 times lol

© STURNIOZ

[via-viana]

Oh my goodness, this story is absolutely precious! I can't stop grinning and wiggling my feet under my blanket right now😊😍

Happy Accidents

pairing : song mingi x gn!reader

fluff , mutual pining , neighbors!au , chaotic ateez

warnings : mentions of blood , language

word count : 4.5k

a/n : this one has been a couple months in the making and probably my longest fic yet . but i’m honestly really proud of how it turned out (:

Keep reading

[seungfl0wer]

Changbin As Your Boyfriend

Bangchan | Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin | Han | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin

Contains smut 🩷

Posting this on Changbins birthday🩷 so happy birthday so the very man who got me into stray kids. The loml, the man of everyone’s dreams.

-🩵

•Man is all about you.

•He really just thinks about you a lot.

•The members joke that you’re one of the only people he’ll text back right away.

•Likes to send you gym pictures.

•A lot of gym pictures.

•Just so you’ll compliment him.

•And please do that.

•Do it a lot, because this man just gushes at your praise and kind words.

•The way he just giggles and blushes when you say anything remotely like it.

•Even when you’re together for years he’s still a blushing mess.

•Wants to constantly cuddle.

•You wrapped in his strong arms.

•His favorite thing to do while you’re cuddling is nuzzle his face into your neck.

•Softly leaving kisses as he repeats “Mine, All mine”

•Brings you his clothes to wear constantly because it just melts him.

•He’ll make the comment about “Wow whoever hoodie that is they got taste”

•Loves bringing you to his home with him to hang out with his mom.

•Changbin is so family oriented and to see you and his family together just-

•It makes him wanna cry.

•And the first time you meet his family seeing them love you.

•He’s crying, and he’s crying hard. Holding onto you with a big smile plastered on him.

•Asks you a lot to go to the gym.

•Even if you don’t wanna work out he just likes having your company there.

•Has the Worst photo of you as his Home Screen.

•He finds it so cute and funny.

•He’ll whine when you say you think it’s ugly.

•Because how dare you say that about his partner.

•You guys have such deep conversations.

•He really loves these.

•Just sitting there talking about your future, your dreams, the meaning of life, and how he could make dwaekki could be an actual animal.

•Always texting to make sure you ate.

•He’s always worried you’re not taking care of yourself.

•Has a whole snack box stocked of your faves at all times.

•Also if you ever say anything about something hurting and or feeling sick.

•Mans there so fast to take care of you.

•He’ll be worried until you feel better.

•And if you’re someone who gets periods?

•He’s making sure you have everything.

•Plus make sure to have time to come cuddle you if you need while you’re suffering.

•Has so many files of songs for you too.

•Mans really whipped for you and he wouldn’t have it any other way honestly.

•You both are just each other’s support system. Solving any problems with communication.

•You’re constantly there for each other, in anyway the other needs.

︵‿︵‿୨Smut Below୧‿︵‿︵

•Body worshiping at its finest.

•Kissing every inch of your body, Telling you how stunning you are.

•Lots of praise, So much praise From the both of you.

•”Y/n do you know how good looking you are?” Followed by even more kissing.

•”Binnie my handsome man, aah your lips are so soft”

•His favorite position is definitely one where he’s holding you up.

•Loves showing off his strength of course.

•Plus he loves how you grip on to his arms.

•He has your body memorized, all your sweet spots everything.

•He loves the way you sound- oh god does he ever.

•The way you sound when you are just coming undone around him.

•He wants to save those sounds forever.

•Definitely has a thing for you sucking his fingers.

•Has his hand cupped under your chin, thumb to your lips as you suck on it.

•You ask for anything during he’s giving it you right away.

•”Please Bin- Faster” “Deeper, aah right there”

•He’s giving you anything you want.

•You could ask him to murder someone and he’d probably say yes.

•100% probably records your noises.

•Yeah y’all have phone sex while he’s away

•But nothing compares to the sound of him fucking you into another dimension.

•Although he is very soft for you.

•He fucks you so good, so rough but full of so much love.

•Makes you cum multiple times before he’s cuming.

•God the cuddles after sex though?

•You’re actually just glued together at this point.

•He’s not letting you go for at least 10 minutes.

•And when you finally get up to pee he’s whining.

•Making small grabby hands for you to come back.

💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵

[macncheems]

PUMPED THIS OUT AS FAST AS I COULD BEFORE PRIDE MONTH ENDS

🤍🩷🩵🤎🖤❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

combining my fave movie and my other fave thing ever is so awesome sauce

[dannyricsmirrorball]

opposite • aa23 ੈ✩‧₊˚

she looks nothing like me so why do you look so happy? now I think I get the cause of it, you were holding out to find the opposite.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ pairings || alex albon x singer!reader, alex albon x lily muni he

ੈ✩‧₊˚ genre || social media au

ੈ✩‧₊˚ summary || based on sabrina carpenter's opposite. after an abrupt break up, alex begins to show of his new relationship while reader reflects on their relationship.

alt. he was holding out to find the opposite

ੈ✩‧₊˚ warning || sad, kind of alex hate but also not idk

ੈ✩‧₊˚ a/n || ok ok first ever alex fic i hope u guys like! also absolutely no lily hate, she’s my fave fr but anything that seems like lily hate is just plot purpose i love her! i also never use blonde face claims but for the purpose of the song narrative i thought it made sense x

liked by georgerussell63, alex_albon, and 198,028 others

yourusername 😋

tagged alex_albon

username34 the cutest couple evaaaaa

williamsracing our favourites💙

⤷ yourusername love you admin

username72 mum&dqd frfr

carmenmmundt linda 🩵

alex_albon candid 😍

⤷ yourusername fuck off

georgerussell63 resorting to shirtless pics. shameless albono 😦

⤷ alex_albon taking a page out of your book georgie

⤷ yourusername im not complaining 🙃

liked by williamsracing, logansargeant, and 109,992 others

yourusername recent flicks

tagged alex_albon

username71 y/n in the studio!!!

⤷ username18 are we finally getting new music?!

francisca.cgomes 😍😍😍

username2 alex on the vespa w his helmet 😫

landonorris ugly shoe twins

⤷ yourusername ugly papaya twins @oscarpiastri

⤷ oscarpiastri wtf-

rachelzegler u finally got ur ass back in the studio 🌟

carmenmmundt eres hermosa 🩷

⤷ yourusername 😘😘😘

alex_albon my beautiful girl

⤷ yourusername gag

⤷ alex_albon ig ill just fuck off then

⤷ yourusername also so you are on ur phone…

⤷ alex_albon my phone is on dnd baby 😩

liked by charles_leclerc, albon_pets, and 309,028 others

alex_albon lately with my lady 😋

tagged yourusername

username17 albon winning everyday

francisca.cgomes run away with me @yourusername

⤷ yourusername im coming baby

⤷ username10 fork found in kitchen

danielricciardo albon.jpg when?

username4 she’s so cutieful

username12 height difference 😫

username6 backwards cap alex u do things to me

liked by yourusername

yourusername this is really sweet ☹️

⤷ alex_albon gag

f1 the dynamic duo of our dreams 🏎️🎤

liked by username8, username91, and 24,098 others

f1updates happy 6 year anniversary to our fave couple!

tagged alex_albon, yourusername

username1 holy shit SIX YEARS?!

username23 all the people who said she’s only with him for money and fame finding out she’s been with him since b4 f1 and they’ve known eachother since high school

⤷ username4 he dropped out so…?

⤷ username23 sorry i should’ve clarified i meant like teenagers bc it was when y/n was in high school, they met bc her brother did karting with alex

username46 alex and his peace sign are unstoppable

username3 their height difference has moved me

⤷ username8 tall bf and his 3x🍎 tall gf

username61 betting on a 💍 this year

⤷ username43 same they’re sooo endgame

username12 if they break up love is dead

liked by georgerussell63, patrickh_coach, and 450,982 others

alex_albon happy anniversary bunny 🐰❤️

tagged yourusername

comments have been limited by creator

yourusername love u loser

yourusername my honey bear 🥰

⤷ alex_albon your duality

liked by francisca.cgomes, susiewolff, and 309,092 others

yourusername happy anniversary to my favourite person, six years around the sun with the love of my life. to the person who makes me laugh and smile,, i will never stop writing songs about my eternal muse. to forever with you ❤️

tagged alex_albon

username81 oh god i’ve never felt more single

carmenmmundt my faves ❤️

username9 parentssss

francisca.cgomes happy anniversary to the most talented brilliant amazing wonderful person i know and her chauffeur 💝

georgerussell63 how’ve you dealt with him for that long? 😳

⤷ yourusername he’s been your boyfriend much longer x

username8 i will never stop writing songs about my eternal muse GOD WHEN IS IT MY TURN

⤷ username71 oh to be y/n y/l/n’s muse

username44 SIX YEARS?! i remember her first tour when she adjusted all the dates to follow the f2 calendar 🥹

username02 wish my camera roll looked like that

⤷ williamsracing ours lowkey does 😅

albon_pets happy anniversary y/n🐰 and alex 🐼! let’s get nandos to celebrate ❣️

natalie_pinkham question finally popped?! 😍

⤷ yourusername not yet! hahaha

⤷ username19 six years and no ring…

username92 come on albono put a ring on it

username7 don’t know how albon pulled it off but he better lock it down soon

username5 bro propose already

username42 i feel bad for y/n

⤷ username16 she should cut her losses

username16 how has he not gotten down on one kneee yet jesus

username63 STILL NOT RING?

2 weeks later

liked by carmenmmundt, luisinhaoliveira99, and 320,828 others

yourusername know it’s for the better 🫤

username71 waiting room lyrics? i fear parents have divorced

username23 do we think they broke up?

⤷ username63 don’t even joke lad

username11 have they broken up?

username17 they haven’t posted or been seen together and they unfollowed… i think it’s over

phoebebridgers 🩶

luisinhaoliveira99 pretty girl ❤️‍🔥

username45 she’s in the studio so on the up side new music?

⤷ username12 remember when she said no more break up songs bc shes over the past and has nothing to be sad about in her relationship welp

francisca.cgomes banger song…

⤷ yourusername tiktok fix you mashup is even better 🙃

username27 NOOO THIS IS NOT FOR THE BETTER

username3 all i can think of is y/n commenting about the coldplay remix bc like “tears stream down your face when you lose something you can not replace”

⤷ username81 gonna end it all

liked by williamsracing, landonorris, and 309,727 others

alex_albon abu dhump ✌️out team ✌️we UP

tagged williamsracing

landonorris she broke

⤷ alex_albon 🤣

⤷ username1 wtf.

⤷ username17 this is not the same man that said y/n was the light of his life and sometimes the only good thing about it

username17 all men are the same.

username13 i reckon he’s salty y/n wouldn’t wait for him to be ready

username6 u were meant to be different ALEX

username52 could commit to a six year relationship but not marrying her… yeah ok

username17 yeah YOUR up

georgerussell63 congrats on the season mate must’ve had a great support system 🙂

⤷ username10 man is livid

⤷ username67 he’s basically lost one of his closest friends bc his best friend strung her along for over half a decade

⤷ username2 hmm i agree obviously it seems alex was the reason they broke up but acting like he didn’t love y/n is kinda crazy

liked by landonorris, yukitsunoda0511, and 450,029 others

alex_albon tis the sea-sun 🎅

landonorris all those bags for one?

⤷ alex_albon don’t pack light 😉

⤷ username82 there’s no fucking way

username81 guys it’s probably just a friend lol

username15 weird but ok

username17 they broke up let him move on 🙄

⤷ username27 two weeks ago…

username09 rip

username8 no way he’s already moved on

username27 guys this could just be a friendly trip like there are other people there as well

username61 y/n’s gone MIA and alex is out posting his thai land holiday

⤷ username7 people process things in different ways

liked by emmaraducanu, alex_albon, and 120,982 others

lilymhe 📍🇹🇭

username81 this is the girl in alex’s post?

username11 pretty!

username23 liked by alex albon…

username09 slaying the off season 😍

username7 who is this girl?

⤷ username4 she’s an american pro golfer in the lpga

carmenmmundt 😍

⤷ username71 rip parents are divorced and i think alex got gr and carmen

liked by lilymhe, landonorris, and 309,091 others

alex_albon new year new goals

username45 new year new gf lol

username6 albon tryna soft launch?

landonorris simp

username11 i wonder how y/n feels…

⤷ username3 this has to be a blow to the heart

⤷ username17 hope she has him blocked

williamsracing ready for the new szn albono 💙

username11 lily wearing his helmet ☹️

⤷ username4 same one y/n used to use…

⤷ username88 how do u know it’s her

⤷ username13 just guessing

username18 fucking hell

username61 and they told me people grieve in different ways…

liked by carmenmmundt, alexandrasaintmleux, and 408,928 others

yourusername happy new year 🌟 been locked in the studio 🤍

username72 girl tryna play it cool but the tolerate it lyrics giving her away fr

username25 SIX YEARS

username42 she’s been locked in the studio while alex is out soft launching his new relationship lol

⤷ username7 new album about to hit

francisca.cgomes dress 😍

username61 “some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world”…

username7 some people making it sound like alex never lived y/n

⤷ username63 no i think it’s that he seemed to love we so much but his actions compared to y/n are very odd

carmenmmundt feliz año nuevo 🩷

⤷ username71 phew they’re still friends

username71 y/n out of hiding!!! 🥹

username6 rep era 🖤

⤷ username23 more like ttpd 😳

albon_pets happy new year y/n 🐰🥳

⤷ username18 she’s still their bunny 😖

liked by carmenmmundt, alex_albon, and 183,093 others

lilymhe ❣️

emmaraducanu wag duties ✌️

⤷ lilymhe 😂🥰

username17 yeah this really hit,, lowkey missing y/n

username7 she’s in bahrain?! welp

username55 awww she’s wearing his merch 🥹

⤷ username6 so cute she’s wearing the merch his ex gf helped design xx

username12 ok i love y/n but lily is soooo pretty

username63 new wag!

carmenmmundt love

williamsracing 💙

liked by username23, username16, and 23,099 others

f1updates new f1 couple confirmed! pro golfer and rumoured girlfriend of alex albon spotted in the paddock for the first time seemingly confirming the couples status. there is a lot of discourse among fans regarding how quick the williams driver has moved on from his last relationship with singer y/n y/l/n, the pair were together for six years after abruptly splitting following their six year anniversary.

tagged alex_albon, lilymhe

username63 i mean they’re cute but i miss y/n

username17 so cute 😍 much better suited to eachother

⤷ username82 i love that they’re both athletes so they understand each other more

username99 she matches alex’s energy 😍

username44 he looks so happy 🥹

username13 cute couple

username1 they will last i think

liked by lilymhe, williamsracing, and 299,928 others

alex_albon bahrain tested: car ✅ food ✅ greens ✅

tagged lilymhe

username71 HARD LAUNCH

lilymhe need to work on that swing

⤷ alex_albon yeah you should

⤷ lilymhe oh!

lilymhe pretty sweet caddy 🥰

williamsracing things we like to see 💪

username2 awww they’re so cute

username14 couple goals

username23 parents ❤️

username2 they’re perfect together

landonorris 🔥

liked by francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc, and 309,727 others

yourusername if i don’t laugh ill cry xx

francisca.cgomes sabes q és linda?

⤷ yourusername i love u

username1 prettiest

username09 stop she defs saw alex’s post

username23 all men do is lie

carmenmmundt ❤️❤️❤️

logansargeant sunscreen?? 🧴

⤷ yourusername so funny logs

⤷ username2 their friendship 🥰

username7 i feel so bad for her

username16 everyone breaks up she should get over it

username12 six years…

liked by alex_albon, williamsracing, and 239,029 others

lilymhe triple M dump 🇲🇨🇨🇦🇺🇸 with some ⛳️ in between

tagged alex_albon

username71 oh my god she’s the most beautiful girl in the world

alex_albon my beautiful girl

alex_albon wow 🤩

alex_albon prettiest in the universe bunny

⤷ lilymhe 🐰❤️

⤷ username62 THEY HAVE HIT THE PENTAGON

⤷ username3 he’s so?! not the bunny nickname… have some shame albono

username45 rip

username82 she is out of this world 😍

username43 idk if anyone knows what im talking about but i remember this interview a couple of years ago where alex said his celeb crush was this one tv actress, ive forgotten her name but i remember she looked exactly like lily does

⤷ username6 his perfect type 🥰

⤷ username47 remember who he was with then…

⤷ username82 my girl y/n catching strays all the time

liked by oliviarodrigo, iamrebeccad, and 451,928 others

yourusername i scream inside to deal with it like AHHHAEGEGBDBDHEHJEJDNXNJE

tagged oliviarodrigo

username45 girl is going through it

username22 “you’re the only girl i’d ever want” yeah ok liar

liked by yourusername

oliviarodrigo girl-

⤷ yourusername happier, pretty isn’t pretty, & stranger is a lethal lineup. don’t ask why i know… 💜

⤷ username42 wooh deadly combo

⤷ username25 just two ‘teenage’ girls who make the most gut wrenching twisted experiences sound like fairy dust

liked by oliviarodrigo, yourusername

username5 bunny nickname was sacred i can’t believe this 😖

username16 last slide is so real girl 😩

francisca.cgomes validddd

username11 i really don’t think she’s taking all of this very well

⤷ username18 u think?!

liked by lilymhe, patrickh_coach, and 230,838 others

alex_albon happiest with my girl

tagged lilymhe

username23 day b4 y/n’s birthday…

⤷ username45 he knows what he’s doing

username28 he’s never looked happier than with lily 🥰

lilymhe my silly boy

landonorris whippeddd

username67 pinterest couple 💌

username18 i love that they seem like best friends as well

username61 i want what they have ☹️

username77 his girl awwww

liked by luisinhaoliveira99, georgerussell63, and 509,983 others

yourusername opposite out now 🌟🐰

username23 the golf fit and bunny emoji SHES MESSY!

alexandrasaintmleux trop belle 🩷

username8 nah not the golf outfit when his current gf is a pro golfer…

username17 “she looks nothing like me so why do you look so happy?” after his ig post rlly hits

username13 i wanna hug her 🫂

username62 really her eternal muse….

username37 does she step out the spotlight so u bathe in it? GAGGED HIM

⤷ username2 righttt like especially since when they were together she was always the more famous one and he was the bf

georgerussell63 🤩

⤷ username11 alex may be his best mate but he hast to stan

username16 “i’ll never stop writing songs about you” well she didn’t lie-

username34 them always joking about how alex was a bad texter but now he’s with lily he’s suddenly the fastest replier ☹️

⤷ username9 “oh so u can reply just to not me” 🫤🫤

carmenmmundt so good ❤️

⤷ yourusername ily

francisca.cgomes TRYNA TAKE IT AS A COMPLIMENT ITS KINDA FEELING LIKE THE OPPOSITE

⤷ yourusername my best friendddd

username8 u were holding out to find the opposite is CRAZY

username92 “you knew i would see that” 👹👹

username6 “face like that other girl your in love with” OH OH OH

username63 “i know now even if i tried to change that somehow you’d end up with her anyway” alex albon when i catch you

username77 “when you said i’m beautiful was i bein lied to?” SHUT UP

⤷ username6 when he’d call her the prettiest in the universe…

username23 just rip my heart out and stomp all over it

2 years later

liked by carmenmmundt, francisca.cgomes, and 1,340,982 others

yourusername recents flicks x

username17 oh my god that dress is everything

username4 her and drew 🥰

drewstarkey 😍

username8 i really think she’s finally healed and that makes me so happy

alexandrasaintmleux can still hear charles singing sky fall 😭

⤷ yourusername remind me to never give him the mic at karaoke again

⤷ username45 so happy they still keep in touch

⤷ username92 yeah same but i also miss her and carmen&george

⤷ username67 what happened? 🙃

⤷ username92 well nothing specific but they stayed friends after her and alex broke up but i guess it just got kind of complicated and now the only interactions were really see of them is them liking each others posts

francisca.cgomes that dresssss lindaaa 🩷🌟

username62 pretty

username17 awww her and drew look adorable

⤷ username4 idk i still think she’s trying to find someone to recreate what she had with alex and it still hasn’t work but drew is the closest she’s come

⤷ username23 all while he’s still with the girl he got with like two weeks after they broke up

liked by williamsracing, georgerussell63, and 1,098,993 others

alex_albon she said yes! i can’t believe i get to marry my dream girl, as soon as i saw your face i knew i was gonna marry you. forever us, i love you 🐰

tagged lilymhe

username81 WHAT?!

username62 oh my god i would hate to be y/n rn

username12 after 2 years… but strung y/n along for 6 with not even a hint of a ring

⤷ username1 when yk yk i guess

georgerussell63 congrats mate x

carmenmmundt ❤️

username72 y/n y/l/n found screaming crying

⤷ username3 y/n is unbothered,, she has a man and is sooo over alex

lilymhe can’t wait to marry you,, to forever with you ❤️

⤷ username17 “to forever with you” i want to kms that’s exactly what y/n said on her last post w alex

alexandrasaintmleux congrats you guys ☺️

⤷ username4 oh to be in kika alex and y/n’s gc right now

landonorris ggggg

username71 this has to be slap in the face to y/n

albon_pets congrats alex 🐼 and lily 🐰 we love you guys ❤️

⤷ username44 albon pets using the bunny emoji for lily now when it was always for y/n is heartbreaking

username5 yellow cab light theory 🙃

⤷ username77 ??

⤷ username5 i just remember in satc miranda saying men are like cabs: “When they're available, their light goes on. They wake up one day and decide they're ready to settle down, have babies, whatever, and they turn their light on. The next woman they pick up — boom! That's the woman they marry.”

⤷ username14 yeah it also about how love isn’t about commitment but rather timing lolllll

⤷ username77 ohhhh so alex’s ‘light’ turned on after breaking up with y/n and it’s not that he’s more committed to lily but rather the timing is better for him than it was w y/n?

⤷ username5 basically 😳

liked by carmenmmundt, oliviarodrigo, and 1,997,928 others

yourusername you were holding out to find the opposite 🙃🐰

username61 they have hit the pentagon (again)

username1 oh my girl i thought we’d moved on

username73 she’s still at the restaurant 💔

username9 posting this while she has a whole ass bf 😭

⤷ username88 she gafff about that man in comparison to alex,, alex hung the stars for her

username23 “how am i supposed to close the door when i still need the closure?”

username14 “i saw you met somebody and im jealous as hell that i can’t even stomach loving somebody else” farkkkk they still kill me

⤷ username9 it’s been 2 years and she still can’t stomach it 🫤🫤😫

francisca.cgomes ❤️

username18 people using lyrics from emails i can’t send rn is making me want to cry ☹️

alexandrasaintmleux belle 🩷

username42 THE BUNNY NOOO

username16 everyone saying she’s moved on and doesn’t care obviously doesn’t remember how hard the break up hit for her like she was in love with that man

⤷ username45 they were meant to grow old together ☹️

⤷ username33 “i care but i don’t”

username62 he did end up w her anyway….

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

first alex fic!!! definitely not the last but pls let me know what you think xx

[via-viana]

I'm glad there's progress between Hongjoong and Yn. I was relieved for a lil bit, but Sanie🥹😭 I wish he could be better soon, I don't want him to forget their life before this accident

|| series masterlist || next // previously ||

genre(s) -> angst, fluff, smut, non-idol, hybrid au, poly au paring(s) -> ( eventually ) ATEEZ x reader warning(s) -> mentions of violence, mention of putting down / death, etc. words -> 4.2K

abstract -> “I hope we can get along” 

y/n’s perspective

“I’ve missed this place,” Wooyoung said as he got out of the elevator first. 

“You know, Taeyong is angry with you” I heard as I saw Yuta and I smiled. “He should’ve expected this,” I said and he chuckled. “Yes… but he needs to bring some sense to Kun” he said and I nodded.

“I can at least text him you're okay and you've made it back safely. Johnny also told me you needed a lot of rest, and to change the bandages once a day at least and clean them. He said that if you feel weak or tired, slow down and let your body rest you just got out of a coma” he scolded and I chuckled. 

“I can clean your wounds, '' Seonghwa asked and I smiled. “Thank you,” I said and I chose to ignore Yeosang’s glare at him. “Please take care of her… and y/n this place is clean but Johnny said avoid your room in case it triggers a bad memory,” he said and I nodded sadly. 

“Sleep early tonight, by the morning everyone's gonna know you're awake,” he said and I nodded as he left. “Come on, let's get ready for bed first,” Yeosang said and I nodded. Preening… or grooming a dog's version of taking care of their mate. I smiled softly at the thought. 

“I’ll make you some tea!” Wooyoung said as he went to the kitchen looking through the cupboard. “I’ll get the first aid kit ready,” Seonghwa said and I was happy to feel relieved around them again. 

I woke up to Seonghwa’s voice saying breakfast was made. Yeosang and Wooyoung tightened their grip on me. “A few more minutes,” Yeosnag said, still sleepy… “yeah a few more– WHY ARE YOU MAKING BREAKFAST THAT'S MY JOB!” Wooyoung yelled and I laughed. 

“It's already noon, and you were in a deep sleep. It's technically lunchtime already” Seonghwa said and I chuckled. “Thank you, Seonghwa,” I said and he smiled. 

“I did what I could with what was in the fridge. There was a lot of old food so I cleaned it out” he said and I nodded. “Oh. Seonghwa, that's your job now” Wooyoung said and I laughed. Wooyoung did hate to clean the fridge and after he cooked. 

We ate our food while I looked at my messages… Everyone was texting me to feel better and that they were glad I was okay. Kun still hasn’t texted me…

“Are we going back?” Wooyoung asks and I smile softly. “I can go alone, if you’d like?” I asked and he looked sad about that. “I’ll go with you” Yeosang and Seonghwa said at the same time. 

“I think it's best if I go alone… I need to talk to San and maybe see how bad it is” I said and they nodded. At the end of the day… San was my first hybrid I promised to him. I wasn’t gonna let him down now. 

“Are you gonna see Hongjoong?” Seonghwa asks and I sigh. “I… should’ve been more professional about handling Hongjoong. I got too into my head and I forgot the tell signs of a hybrid. I’m licensed in handling red code hybrids… so I feel like I owe him a try” I explained and they looked nervous for me. 

“I’ll have to talk to Kun first, however”

“You’re… okay,” he said speechless. He came up and hugged me tight… There was a time when my parents didn’t care what I did, they just made sure I had enough money to take care of myself. 

Kun was one of my friends who became like an older brother to me… he was protective and overall cared a lot about my well-being even after my breakup with Hendery. Even when my parents found out I studied writing and not business or a respectable white-collar degree. 

“I saw… your heart stops, I thought you weren’t gonna make it” he cried out and I sighed. “Well, here I am,” I said and he only tightened his grip. 

“When Doyoung said you were here yesterday I didn't believe him… and then Johnny and Taeyong confirmed and– I’m just happy you’re okay” he said and I smiled as he let me go. 

“Wooyoung was really bad. He’s never experienced a depressive episode that bad, he’d at least eat and go outside but not once did he move. He’d stare at the door constantly to see if you’d appear” he said and it broke my heart. “Yeosang’s owner was trying to bribe our shareholders to be given Yeosang but my family wouldn’t give in” he explained. 

“Thank you for trying your best even when you assumed I was dying” I said and he sighed. “Why did you take that tiger with you?” he asked and I sighed. 

“I… I didn’t tell you but Hongjoong got to me when I interviewed him. He mentioned a hybrid would do anything to survive and compared it to them” I said and he looked at me disappointed. 

“You should’ve known better. Those hybrids… has anyone told you about San?” he trailed off and I shook my head. “They said he was a code purple and his mind is scattered, can't tell time, aggressive?” I said and he nodded. 

“San… we originally had them all together when they were first here but he turned violent wanting to hurt Hongjoong. When we isolated him the next day he kept muttering to himself ‘any second now’ as if you’d pick him up. Hours after he attacked you… you came for him only hours after and he thinks that’ll happen again. No matter if we remind him three times a day he'll forget… I'm worried about how he’ll behave when he’s with you again” he said and I sighed. 

“I need to see him. '' I said and he sighed “Let us… make sure he’s okay first” he said and I nodded. “In the meantime then… what happened to Hongjoong?” I asked and he shook his head. 

“He's not going with you–” “He’s already my hybrid… I didn’t give him a chance or anything to prove him wrong. I let him get to me and in return only proved him right” I said and he scoffed. 

“Those bandages on your neck are because of him. Your hybrids suffered because of him and I still want to help him?” he asked me angrily. 

“Kun… when we were kids, you saved a hybrid and he’s still with you today but remember Sicheng with Yuta and how he was just as aggressive. Abused and neglected, his parents wanted Sicheng dead but you made a promise to Yuta and now he’s in a sanctuary in China at your family’s estate. You told me you’d help any hybrid you could and that's why you have this job… please do me this favor” I begged and he sighed. 

“You owe me” 

It was like it was almost a month ago. 

Preparing to interview him… the difference is I'm not here for business nor do I have Seonghwa’s protection. I took a deep breath and entered the red code area. It had hybrids locked behind impenetrable glass and a metal covering in front of it instead of the curtains the other hybrids had. 

I made it to his kennel when I saw his report… it had a determined sign. He was gonna be sent to a different center… in China?

I noticed the metal covering was now being lifted. They must've noticed on the cameras I was there already. He was in a corner… his tail twitching and his constraints were clearly uncomfortable. 

“Hello,” I said and his ears lifted up… he looked over his shoulder to see me. He shook his head… “You're not real” he muttered as his head faced the corner again 

“Maybe I’m not. Maybe I'm here to haunt you” I joked and his ears twitched… “Why did you do that?” I asked curious if he’d answer. “I didn’t… want to kill you. I-I want… just want to be free” he said his voice only getting more vulnerable. 

“Seonghwa hates me now… I have no one, I'm alone and I'm going somewhere I don’t even recognize. I have your blood on my hands… it won’t go away” he muttered.

“I… never killed anyone. I didn’t… I wanted… I don’t know anymore. I’m sorry” he said and I could see how his back shook. Was he crying?

“Did you know… I went to your show when I was a kid” I confessed and he froze. “My parents were busy… they couldn't take care of me. So they had a hybrid take care of me. She was a bear hybrid, and they made her take me to the Circus… I had a front-row seat, I remember seeing you” I said and he now turned to look at me. His eyes are glassy and red.

“You looked like you liked to perform. I may have been naive to what they did to hybrids… but you were a part of the main show with Seonghwa” I confessed and he shook his head. “You’re not real” he kept muttering to assure himself. 

“I remember a different ringleader than the one I interviewed… he approached me and asked where my parents were. When my babysitter tried to explain, he yelled at her to be quiet. That a lowly hybrid shouldn’t talk to him that way–” he furrowed his eyebrows. He stood up and tried getting as close to the glass as the chains let him. 

“–I told him my parents were busy and she was taking care of me. He laughed and said that bear hybrids belong to the circus not taking care of kids like me–” he now sat down and looked at me confused and probably questioning if I was really here “–she cried on the drive home. The ringleader gave me a phone number and told me to tell my parents he offered a ton of money for her. I know… that she didn’t trust me. So when we came home my parents were already there… They asked if I liked the show. It's when I remember looking at her and she smiled a sad smile at me with glassy eyes…” he looked at me curious and maybe interested in what I was saying?

“I started to cry. I hugged my mom saying the ringleader yelled at me and her, demanding to see them. They were… angry to say the least, and he was fired, but that didn’t mean the place was shut down” I said sadly. 

“What happened to the hybrid?” he asked and I sighed. “She… stayed with me until I had to go to college. That night she tucked me in and she muttered a thank you. I loved her like I did my mother… but one day when I returned from college to visit her they told me she was no longer needed, and so they sent her away” I said and he nodded.

“I remember that night…  men in suits came and said they were gonna sue. The next ringleader was a co-owner of his so nothing changed… are you real?” he asked and I smiled. 

“Am I?” I asked and he sighed. 

“I’d like to believe you are… even if I'd be lying to myself. Can I ask… where's Seonghwa?” he asked and I debated on telling him. “Happy,” I said and he smiled softly. 

“I hope he is. I hope he gets adopted… he loved seeing the amazed kids when he did a trick and even the hybrids. He always would say to me, he wants to be as oblivious as them… where he doesn’t know what abuse is any more” he said as he cried again. 

“I would always tell him… that it would be impossible. He’d have to be human, it's when I learned you could buy citizenship and a species change” he said… the illegal black market in Korea was dangerous. However, the surgeries they offered were hybrids… it was nearly impossible to achieve but an even smaller percentage rate of survival… 

“It’s stupid… that was my plan and now I don’t even want it. Seonghwa spoke highly of you–” he was now lying down facing his back to me “–he got along the best with Wooyoung and he’d explain to him how you saved all three of them. I never understood what you did” he said and I sighed.

“It wasn’t until they told us… San was a part of the illegal fighting rings for hybrids. No one survived over a month and yet he was a survivor of all his life. Wooyoung abandoned and Yeosang prostituted… and now us, circus captivated tigers…” he said as his whole body shook as he cried. 

“Wooyoung he said how… you wrote about hybrid rights, but I thought it was an act” he confessed and I sighed. “What would you do if you were ever given a second chance–” “I don’t deserve it. I’ll suffer the rest of my life like I was born to,” he said and it made me freeze.  Did he really believe that?

“I’m sorry, y/n. I wish you never met me” 

I walked out and I immediately hugged Kun. 

“Does he really believe that?” I asked and he sighed. “Maybe I judged him a little harshly. Maybe I was a bit biased that he almost killed you in particular,” he said and I nodded. “Do you want to see San now?” he asked and I nodded… I was worried about how he’d react. I was led to an area where the hybrids had no privacy. They were allowed to do the danger to themselves. We stopped at a kennel… San. 

“San, you have a visitor,” Kun said and he looked up and saw me. “y/n!!” he yelled with a big grin on his face. “Hi, Sannie,” I said and he smiled… until his eyes wandered to my jaw. “I’m okay, how have you been?” I said, trying to get his attention. 

“I did that to you…” he said, confusing me. “What?” I asked. “I didn’t mean to hurt you… I love you, you're the only one who cares about me” he said as he put his head down almost in shame.

“San… this wasn't you” I explained and he looked at me confused. “Do you remember Hongjoong?” I asked and his eyes darkened “He hurt you!” he yelled now angry. 

He lost any recollection of time…

“San… who am I?” I asked him and he looked at me shocked. “What do you mean? Why would I forget you? You're… my mate” he said, unsure of himself. 

“San… please get better”

“Please stop crying,” Kun said as I cried in his office. He wasn’t sure of anything… What does he even think of me? Of Wooyoung… of Yeosang?

“You should get back home… you need rest” he said and I shook my head. “But San… what if he forgets I was here–” “He hasn’t… he’s pacing his room muttering your name. Give him time to finally think for himself,” he said and I was satisfied with that answer. 

“I… I was never meant to own hybrids, was I?” I asked and he shook his head. “You're an amazing owner… you’ve rescued them at their worst and given them a second chance. Give him time” he said and I didn’t know if I believed him. 

“How’s… Hongjoong?” I asked and he sighed. “Are you sure you want to take him with you? He needs to be tested and analyzed first… I need to see if he can go down to at least an orange” he asked and I nodded. “Can I see him before I leave?” I asked and he nodded, leading me out of his office and to Hongjoong again. 

I entered again with the button and went in front of his kennel. I waited for the metal curtain to open and he was right where I last saw him.

“You’re… back? You are real… you’re alive” he said and I smiled. “Hello, Hongjoong,” I said and he looked at me confused and… scared. 

“Improve… you're still my responsibility. So when you go down to an orange, you can live a life like Seonghwa. Or… I can pay for your freedom”

I went back home. 

I cried to Wooyoung all night. Seonghwa and Yeosang were worried but I wanted to be with Wooyoung. He has been here since the beginning. 

He… somehow convinced San to trust me and now it was gone. It felt empty with San.

“Why won’t you tell me what's got you like this?” Wooyoung asked me and I could only tighten my grip on his body. I didn’t want him to leave… 

“I made breakfast… I’m sorry Wooyoung but–” “She needs to eat, thanks hyung” 

I was suddenly lifted up to my bed. “You need to eat… then you can get dressed and see him again. That's what you need right now” he said and I couldn’t stop the tears spilling.

“Angels aren’t supposed to cry…” I heard as I saw Yeosang. “Eat, please for me,” Wooyoung asked and I listened. I didn’t know what to do…

“What happened yesterday?” he asked and I sighed as I picked at the food on the plate in front of me. “San… his memory is all over the place. He thinks he attacked me… then I reminded him it was Hongjoong and he turned angry… and he could barely tell me who I was” I confessed and they sighed.

“I also gave Hongjoong the option of living here again–” “No!” Yeosang said and I smiled. “Trust me… he doesn’t seem bad. Besides… I also gave him the option for his freedom” I said and they looked at me confused. 

“I… can get in contact with a surgeon to make him look human. I can find him an identity and give him enough for a fresh start” I said and they looked at me shocked. 

“Those surgeries are low survival–” “That's mainly because they don’t have enough money… I would have to ask a hefty favor to Taeyong but I can get in contact with a good surgeon, and pay them enough to make sure he was okay” I said and they looked at me… concerned. 

“Seonghwa, if you wanna go with him–” “No… I don't want to be human. I’d rather live here if you'd let me,” he said and I smiled. “The offer will always stand… for any of you,” I said and Yeosang and Wooyoung shook their heads. 

“We’re happy with you” 

I was back here… 

I was in front of Hongjoong’s kennel. The curtains raised up and he was pacing almost like he was waiting. “Hi, Hongjoong!” I said trying to offer a grin despite how drained I felt. 

“No offense but it looks like you haven't slept,” he said and I chuckled. “I haven’t… have you decided or need more time?” I asked and he sighed. 

“Seonghwa… is he happy?” he asked and I didn’t know. “I gave him the option to be free like I could do for you… but he declined '' I said and he smiled. “Why are you offering me so much? Thank you for helping Seonghwa… you can give him everything but why are you doing this for me?” he asked and I shrugged. 

“You deserve a chance…” I said and he shook his head. “I don’t,” he said and I tried to offer him a smile. “I could’ve killed you” he cried out. “San… he hates humans you know?” I said and he looked at me confused. 

“He… hated me. Said I only adopted him to abuse him… I admit my reason for adopting him wasn’t too great. When I first saw him I was captivated… but I learned that he couldn’t be adopted because of his past and his code. So I took my chance and did what I could… but he never did trust me. So he yelled… and he taunted me. He hurt me a little bit but he accidentally knocked over a vase I had to push him out of the way so he didn't get hurt. I… got better and went to make sure he was okay but he didn’t want me to be his owner�� I explained and he looked at me painfully confused. 

“He loves you… I may have tormented you and planted lies but the way he looks at you… he really does love you” he confessed and I smiled softly. 

“Overtime… he trusted me. He made me his mate… he's important to me” I said, trying not to cry. “Is he okay?” he asked and I couldn’t answer. “Hongjoong, I gave him a second chance too. So… what do you wish for? Freedom or… live with me?” I asked and he sighed. 

“Does… Seonghwa hates me?” he asked and I knew he valued his companion a lot. “He doesn’t… I gave him the option too, you know?” I asked and he chuckled. “He chose to stay with you, I know that for sure,” he said and I smiled softly. 

“I… want to give you a second chance too, and I want to redeem myself” 

While Hongjoong was getting checked out, I was led to San. 

He was staring at me once I came to view… his tail swishing behind him. He was still so pretty… and I loved him so much. 

“You're… y/n. I hated you… then I trusted you… then I loved you” he said and I felt my eyes widen. “I hurt you… then I met, Yeosang?” he asked me and I shook my head. “Wooyoung,” I said and he nodded. “The fox… he had a pathetic crush on you,” he said, making me laugh softly. Kun was beside me… he also looked confused. 

“Yeosang… his owner abused him? He’s… friends with Wooyoung. Doberman and Fox” he said… he was concentrating on facts. “You… adopted two dogs?” he asked while looking at me and I shook my head. “Uhm… cats?” he asked and I shook my head again. “They're from the circus– Tigers!” he yelled and I smiled. “One of them… hurt you,” he said and I nodded. 

“How long… have you left us here?” he asked me with a sad tone. 

“San… I came back for you as soon as I could.” I said and he nodded. “What happened to you? Why do you have those big bandages on your face?” he asked and I slid. “I was in a coma for a long time,” I said and he let out a breathy sigh. 

“Hongjoong’s claws cut a bit too deep into my skin… so I have bandages on. I woke up the day before yesterday” I explained and he nodded. “I trust you… I know you're my mate and I know I love you my head just hurts” he explained and I nodded. He was gonna be like this for a while… 

“But I… just wanna go with you. Please don’t leave me here again”

“San!” Wooyoung yelled as he tackled the panther who tensed up. “This is Wooyoung… the fox you met,” I said as I pulled Wooyoung away from him. San nodded and I could see their confused faces of what was happening.

“He’s mated to you too,” San muttered as he pulled me to him.

“Do you not remember us?” Wooyoung asks and San shakes his head. “Dissociative amnesia is what they're calling it… in his case it's because of an event that causes his brain to go into shock. Kun says in his case he should be able to regain memory with everyday activities but… we should also be prepared if he doesn’t” I said and I could see the worry on Wooyoung and Yeosang’s faces as well as the guilt in Hongjoong and Seonghwa.

“I hope we can get along” 

@wonuangel @danirael @angelsaway @krissroo @minkysmilk @mayonnaise-on-toast @robertsbbygirl @superbbananananana @hyukssunflower @kitty4hwa @justconniez @senpai-of-doom @kibs-and-bits @caityelise99 @ilovekinny @ateezennie23 @wooahaelemons @purplelady85 @watamotee33@chidess97 @littlelostdemonofthelight @maliamaiden @burntarm1n @spooo00oky @eastleighsblog @momo-peachy @kitstar1117 @quartzpirate @sunnyhokyu @iwishiwasrichasfuck @theginger543210 @pandolinka @ddaeing @kpopnightingale @slid3er @kekdo-520 @puppyminnnie @sparklinghwa222 @calicanbeevil @itsvxlentine @atinism @loumin908 @smally97 @rxnexxi @acetruepunk @majesticbeluga @namjooncrabs @tashizxy @itstheghostofmypast @smilefordongil @teeziny @totallynotlyntv @kyeos4ng @prodsh00ky @acescavern

please don't be a silent reader !! reblog, comment, and like <3

[tonsillessscum]

HAPPY TDOV FROM MY FAVES 🩵🩷🤍🩵🩷

[daisyblog]

Mr and Mrs Styles

Our Story Masterlist Summary: Instagram posts about Harry and YN’s wedding.

Blurb from Wedding Bells

ynstyles and harrystyles

liked by louist91, annetwist and 5,761,208 others

ynstyles Husband and Wife🤍 View all 103,593 comments

harrystyles ❤️

lottietomlinson A beautiful day for a beautiful couple! Love you both❤️

thepheobetomlinson perfect day🫶🏼

annetwist My son and daughter-in-law🥰What a gorgeous pair❤️

gemmastyles I’m still crying, happy tears🥹🤍

the.daisytomlinson What a beautiful bride you are ❤️

jefezoff A lovely day! Thank you for sharing it with us x

pillowpersonpp Finally!! Congratulations both! YN you looked incredible😍

niallhoran I’ve waited years for this and it didn’t disappoint! Absolutely thrilled for you both! A perfect day for a perfect couple! Love ya x

liampayne big love to you both❤️

zayn a sick day!! congrats both xx

annetwist

liked by bradgouldtraining, elladeannemurray and 53,872 others

annetwist True love❤️My son and daughter-in-law x View all 1,771 comments

ynstyles the BEST mama-in-law💕

louteasdale 🥹🩷

louiseburcham A gorgeous day❤️Congratulations Harry and YN xx

dee_selley A wonderful day celebrating our beautiful Harry and YN❤️

harryfan9 they are so in love!

ynrryfan2 THE WAY THEY ARE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER🥹🥹🥹

gemmastyles

liked by jefezoff, chloeburchham and 487,661 others

gemmastyles Still in shock my baby brother isn’t a baby anymore, and he’s now married🥹Eeekkk!! I finally have a sister-in-law🤍 View all 2,901 comment

annetwist My second baby is married🥹Where did the time go?!

lottietomlinson 💕

ynstyles hello sister🫶🏼💞

chloeburcham When did H grow up?🙈

harryfan8 Gemma you look beautiful💜

harryfan2 I think it’s crazy how YN went from being a Tomlinson to a Styles😱

dee_selley He’ll always be your baby brother darling🥰xx

louist91

liked by ynstyles, lottietomlinson and 8,102,633 others

louist91 A special day for a special couple!! Congratulations to the new Mr and Mrs Styles!! View all 98,091 comments

ynstyles thank you for always being by my side, especially on my big day❤️love you forever xx

annetwist This photo is just precious and speaks a millions words🥹🥰❤️

marktommo1111 A bond like no other❤️

lottietomlinson 🫶🏼🤍

louisfan4 LOUIS SMILE😍

ynfan3 He’s so happy for them💜

lottietomlinson

liked by ynstyles, lewisburton and 64,569 others

lottietomlinson beautiful Styles wedding🤍 View all 2,841 comments

lewisburton love you❤️

ynstyles 🫶🏼🤍

gemmastyles does this make us sisters now?🤔😂

thephoebetomlinson ❤️❤️

louisfan3 lottie give us more tomlinson sibling photos plssssss

niallhoran

liked by annetwist, louist91 and 907,121 others

niallhoran My besties got married ❤️ View all 9,012 comments

ynstyles YOU’RE MY BESTIE🤍 p.s Amelia it’s a crime that you looked so amazing😚🫶🏼

louist91 Good to see you lad!!

annetwist Gorgeous photo Niall🥰

niallfan6 THIS IS SO CUTE

ynniallfan6 I love YN and Niall’s friendship💞You can tell it’s real!!

liampayne

liked by louist91, annetwist and 765,431 others

liampayne Celebrating Mr and Mrs Styles!! Congratulations Harry and YN❤️Big love x View all 4,781 comments

liamfan4 Liam being at the wedding makes me so happy!🥰

louisfan7 I love how Liam always supports Louis and his family❤️

ynstyles Big love LP! See you soon❤️

marktommo1111 It was great to see you Liam!

liamfan2 You look so good😍

zayn

liked by ynstyles, harrystyles and 4,891,012 others

zayn ❤️ View all 13,671 comments

zarryfan5 HARRY LIKED!

1dfan2 look how young they were! fetus era!!

zaynfan9 1D REUNION AT YN AND HARRY’S WEDDING IS NOT WHAT I EXCEPTED THIS YEAR!!😱🥹

zaynfan3 We love a throwback!!

louisupdates

liked by louisfan3, 1Dfan9 and 15,871 others

louisupdates Louis and Niall at YN and Harry’s wedding!! (via thephoebetomlinson) View all 562 comments

louisfan6 Louis is beaming! Look at his smile🩵

niallfan5 what a trio! my faves🫶🏼

ynfan9 YN with her two brothers🥰🥰

harrystylesdaily

liked by harryfan3, ynrryupdates and 89,012 others

harrystylesdaily Harry with his cousin and her husband at the wedding! (via elladeannemurray) View all 901 comments

harryfan7 He looks so good😍😍😍

ynrryfan2 don’t know who I’m more jealous of Harry or YN🙈😂

ynfan9 Look how happy he is❤️

stylesupdates

liked by harryfan6, harryfan1 and 3,788 others

stylesupdates Anne and Ben (Harry’s cousin) at Harry and YN’s wedding! (via annetwist) View all 256 comments

harryfan5 HARRY IN ANNE’S GLASSES!!😂

ynfan9 Anne looks so happy❤️

1dfan3 I’m loving all the content we’re getting today!!

the.daisytomlinson story

zaynmupdates

liked by zaynfan5, zaynfan2 and 6,890 others

zaynmupdates Zayn leaving Harry and YN’s wedding! View all 482 comments

zaynfan7 ZAYN WAS THERE!!!!

zarryfan9 ZARRY REUNION❤️❤️

ynfan4 I knew Zayn would be there for YN and Harry🥹🥰

harryfan8 ❤️

lloyddddddddddddddddd story

Tag List:

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @harrys-flower @platinumbarbie143 @frickin-bats@harrysbbyh0ney @chronicallybubbly @goldensunflowe-r  @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite@kaverichauhan @peterholland04 @panicattheuc @or-was-it-just-a-dream @hittiesontour@bunnyharold @fanfictioncafe @lilfreakjez @iamahallucinationnn @theekyliepage @indierockgirrl@buckybarnessimpp @ashleighsss @jerseygirlinca @fake-coolbeans @itsmytimetoodream@treehouse-mouse @mrs-anna-styles211994

[carlos-in-glasses]

Thank you for the tag @heartstringsduet @henrygrass and @carlossreaders 🩷

Chapter 11: The Other Wrestler of Rhythms is now on Ao3, so here we have something from chapter 12 (which is also a 4x17-4x18 coda and might be my personal fave!), and the sadder banner to accompany it...:

“You should come back to bed.” TK slouches towards him, his hands in the pockets of his blue diamond-patterned pajama pants, affecting a laid-back attitude. “I’ll rub your back.”

He sits down beside Carlos on the couch, tilted towards his bare body. He’s in Carlos’ space in a way that feels both comforting and like a sensory overload all in one. Nothing makes sense. Everything is true. Everything is real and not a nightmare.

It takes Carlos a moment to process TK’s offer of a backrub, his favorite thing in the world. “Uh, no. Thanks,” he says. He doesn’t deserve a backrub, and even if he felt he did, he thinks TK’s beautiful hands on him would make him shatter.

Open tag and tags below!:

@paperstorm @thisbuildinghasfeelings @strandnreyes

@bonheur-cafe @reyesstrand @goodways

@lightningboltreader @rmd-writes @ladytessa74 @welcometololaland

@liminalmemories21 @alrightbuckaroo @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

@irispurpurea @chicgeekgirl89 @lemonlyman-dotcom @freneticfloetry

@honeybee-taskforce @theghostofashton @sugdenlovesdingle

@herefortarlos @orchidscript @tellmegoodbye @three-drink-amy

@carlos-tk @pimento-playing-hopscotch @eclectic-sassycoweyes

@literateowl @captain-gillian @butchreyes

@nancys-braids @fifthrideroftheapocalypse @ironheartwriter

@emsprovisions @sapphic--kiwi @corsage

@nisbanisba @the-126-family - if you want to share/haven't already! No pressure ever! ❤️🩷🧡💛💚💙🩵💜

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I'm glad that I found this series😍🥰

:̗̀➛ 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞? :̗̀➛ 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭?

💌｡⋆˚୨=player 1117 navigation list=୧˚⋆｡☁️ ◛ comment to join this series' taglist!

»»— CHAPTERS ๑ prolouge — into the game all you did was to complain about the character in the otome game ๑ 0001 — the meeting you never thought you would meet them both in a circumstance like this ๑ 0002 — friendship blooms a gift exchange leads to blossoming feelings ๑ 0003 — a magician the snakes starts to bare their fangs while the bear disguises itself ๑ 0004 — to mist soobin tells you a sudden news ๑ 0005 — the bunny in the trap

➳ series taglist: @tenebrisirae @mayonnaise-on-toast @miliokumura3 @lavishloving @asteriodshowers @hrts4hanniehae