#my dumb jokes aside it IS a horror story first and with good reason so like

[lasarcasticpanda]

SO i may have binged 194 episodes of The Magnus Archives in six days and have a lot of thoughts and feelings

im actually real terrible with horror, im made of pure cowardice and anxiety and terror, so not super advisable to just tear through the whole thing in such a small amount of time lmao (bright side: my daily anxiety meds knock me the fuck out, so i get to just pass out instead of staring into the dark of my bedroom)

but honestly, this is one of the best written, produced, and performed pieces of fiction ive consumed? definitely one of the best bits of cosmic horror.

and like, i know this falls into the murky area between “cosmic/lovecraftian horror” and “urban horror”, but i label it more in the vein of cosmic just due to the size and nature of the horror aspect. 

either way you choose to label it, it’s so well done. from the get, it’s just so good at the anthology set-up, introducing the audience to small instances of indecipherable events as told through the lens of a skeptic, who is really only a skeptic in the sense that he doesn’t put a lot of weight behind experiences he hasn’t had himself or that which isn’t similar to his own (which is fun all by itself - the idea of a skeptic who ISN’T skeptical of unnatural forces, but more of the intricacies of said events). And someone who, until later, you don’t really understand why he’s willing to accept some statements at face value, but not others, even being flat out dismissive and somewhat unsympathetic to those he deems “impossible”.

and as it goes, you start getting the sense of something larger bubbling. it’s so well done, incredibly well-written and produced. it gets you to a point where you start hearing familiar names and places and ideas and you just immediately zero in on what’s being said, to try and piece the puzzle together. it has such a way of grabbing that attention, where if you hear anything about a book or a specific location or a last name, you just know something important is going to be in this episode and you tuck it away for later.

and when things start finally piecing together, the sheer satisfaction you get at the moments where characters come together and have the same realizations and notices that you do, the moments where a secondary character comes in and puts it into sharp focus and the rush you get of just “i KNEW that” or “that’s surprising but it makes so much sense” is so incredibly validating. especially compared to the sudden surge in writing that “surprise twists for your audience is good, your audience should have no idea” is somehow considered good, accomplished writing. 

the SOUND DESIGN as well - imma sucker for sound design and it’s utilized magnificently here. my favorite is Michael the Distortion’s voice (along with another character, but this isn’t meant to deal with too many spoilers or specific events, so im not gonna name them, but the following still applies) - everytime they pop into an episode, i listen to it over at least two or three times. because the WAY they get the echo in their voice to sound so empty but contained, especially when compared to the other characters they’re interacting with. and how their laugh doesn’t sound like short sounds, but more of one long, extended breath of laughter that bounces around the area in such an unnatural way. both thrilled and terrified by it.

but honestly, probably one of my favorite things about this? the queer representation in something as existential as cosmic horror. usually, queer rep is used a catalyst for a character to commit a terrible act - they were bullied horribly as a kid, they repressed their sexuality, they conformed against their will, they were shunned, they’re sexually repressed, etc, etc, all of these things tend to just be fuel for why a human monster commits such atrocious acts or sides with the “evil” in the story. and sure, there’s a space for that i suppose (not something im terribly interested in, but either way), but representation isn’t about having the same layer over a group of people repeated over and over. 

here, it’s so natural and casual and there is never a direct correlation between horrible things done and anyone(thing)’s sexuality or gender identity. and there’s never a conversation about these things - no moment where someone has to explain they’re asexual or gay or trans or lesbian or bi or pan, no posturing or pandering to the audience about “what it means” to wear these labels. it’s a facet of their person, but it’s not their entire personhood and that is SO refreshing, especially coming from the horror genre. when a character does something awful or stupid in the name of protecting someone they love, their sexuality or gender identity isn’t used as some additional tragedy to the situation.

tl;dr the magnus archives is a workplace comedy about cosmic horror and a bunch of queer people just vibing. and im so in love with it, i can’t talk about it enough.

[dreambones]

hi!!! I love your games and am looking into trying to make one of my own. any tips?

Thanks! And sure, I like helping. These are based on my experience and a couple I got from college, summarized in the 3 I find more useful and important:

If you are making your first game (I'd even go and say your first 1 - 3 games at least) Keep it simple!

I cannot stress this enough, and it is one of the hardest things in game development I keep having to remind myself every, single, time.

I think Jake's Halloween Night is a good example of this. The game is, stripped down to its bare essentials, a game where you find keys to open locked doors, collect 3 items, and that's it, that's the game. And it all happens in a two levels house with 8 rooms, with 1 single character.

I know the temptation to go and make something bigger (that you might not think is big at all cof looks at MegaBite, Lucinda and The Mushroom Killer of).

There is nothing wrong with big projects! They are cool too, but imagine never swimming a day in your life and then deciding next week you will go and swim across a lake.

Chances are you won't have an award winning game that everyone will be talking about, but believe me, a finished game is such a rewarding feeling than looking back at several unfinished projects.

2. There are no "Engines that make bad/good games"

I borrow this one from a teacher in college. Use the game engine that is comfortable for you, the one you know how to use and you have access to. Just because you make a game with RPG Maker, doesn't mean you'll make a bad game, just like using Unreal Engine doesn't mean your game will be good. Sure, some programs will give you things others won't, and some will only work with a certain coding language or graphics, but it's up to you what game you do with the tools you got at hand.

There are a lot of free to try programs to make games out there, and different ranges of price. I haven't been able to try many aside Unity, which I learned in college, and RPG Maker MV, which I picked because I didn't liked Unity. There are others I want to try but I sadly haven't got the time, so I don't really have lots of experience in that area.

The important thing is you pick the one you are comfortable with and that gives you what you want, don't let others tell you your game will be bad just because of the program you picked.

3. Make a game you want to make, don't try to make a game looking for a secret formula to make "a successful game"

This applies to probably all creative work, but make a game you are having fun with, with a story you like, and characters you love. Maybe it's cliche, maybe it's really dumb, but it's easier to keep motivated when you are doing a game you love.

One of the many reasons I paused MegaBite development was because once I was done with College, I realized I was adapting my original idea, to what my professors and classmates seen as a good, normal, commercial game, and that stopped being fun to me, so I've had to take a step back to see what do I want to make with MegaBite.

On the other hand, Jake's Halloween Night is a dumb idea I came up with while hanging out with Popfizzless, and I turned around and told em "I will make a game where you play with a Chad Bro looking guy that at the end turns out to be a slasher" and then I said, "fuck it, his name is Jack O' Lambert because I love puns and I will make all the silly horror movies references I can and that doesn't make sense".

I started on October 5 and ended October 29th, doing a dumb game I was enjoying making, expecting barely anything from it, and next day one of my favorite YouTubers had played it. And I think the best part was seeing him and all the people in the comments having fun with my dumb, cliche, silly ideas. Even seeing YouTubers I didn't knew about, enjoying the game and making jokes about it was so much fun and more enjoyable than if I had made something I didn't enjoy making but got popular.

And to be fair, barely anyone played JHN, but it is still crazy see that bunch of people in MBH commenting theories and finding horror movies references I didn't put there.

Long story short, start with a small, simple game with 1 or two characters, that you enjoy making and are having fun with.

I hope this helps and good luck with your game making!

[theo-decker]

HWFG: 31 WEIRD FILMS TO WATCH IN OCTOBER

It’s here! Thank you to anyone who has ever recced me a horror film on Tumblr — I probably got some of these from you. There aren’t too many deep cuts here, but all of them are films I genuinely adore, and maybe there are a few you forgot about. They are all horror or include some horror elements so if there are any you haven’t seen, maybe check what they’re about first before watching them, as a couple of them are... a little 🤏 disturbing.

I have some NOTES. This list can be used as a grab bag, but it also does have this run list for a reason; it is organised by TONE. (I’M SORRY.) 

Inb4 “Where’s Suspiria? Where’s Possession? Where’s Jennifer’s Body/Hereditary/Midsommar/The VVitch/etc?” They are on literally every list! Search “unhinged women” on Letterboxd and sort by lists (not joking). Also, this list doesn’t fit into Hooptober or similar horror challenges, because aside from Mario Bava I mostly avoided “horror classics”, so there is no Texas Chain Saw or Poltergeist or anything even though I obviously love them too.

1-5: SLOW CHILLS  — quiet, atmospheric horror for an autumnal mood, ft. melancholy ghosts, affable psychopaths, shadowy staircases, secrets

The Changeling (1980), The Haunting (1967), The House of the Devil (2009), Spoorloos/The Vanishing (1988)

6-9: CRANK UP THE NASTY — would you like a side of misanthropy with that? Ruptured psyches, nasty human impulses, fragmented narratives, dissociation, time oozing

His House (2020), Pulse (2001), Perfect Blue (1997), Sinister (2012)

10-12: BUDDY COMEDIES — we love male friendship!

Occult (2009), Resolution (2012), Cure (1997)

13-19: SPEEDIN UP MY HEARTBEAT — dumb scary fucking movies, emphasis on dumb; a heart-thumping good time, ft. hallucinations and illusions, buildings without exits, being trapped in small spaces underground

Grave Encounters (2011), Noroi: The Curse (2005), The Descent (2005), Train To Busan (2016), 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016), Don’t Breathe (2016), Oculus (2013) 

20-26: GIRLS AND GUTS — really just so much gore — both classic and modern giallo, contemporary slashers from Australia, the US and France, chosen for their iconic women characters (these films include rape-and-revenge, and, to reiterate, literal rivers of blood, so tread carefully)

Blood and Black Lace (1964), Knife+Heart (2018), Last House On The Left (1972), The Loved Ones (2009), Revenge (2017), Martyrs (2008), Inside (2007) 

27-29: EROTIC FAIRYTALES — after all that, now time for a bedtime story: masks and disguises, sexy monsters, sweltering nights, the thing inside you that dies when you grow up

Bluebeard (2009), Onibaba (1964), Valerie And Her Week of Wonders (1970)

30-31: OUT ON THAT OPEN ROAD — back to the USA for a last ride with the Devil 

Southbound (2015), Death Proof (2007)

[i-may-be-stupit]

Idk the horney got me, so here we are HAHAHAHA 18+ and kinda a bit of crack at times, ENJOY!!!!! Oh! And this is reletively gender neutral, babes!!

Your name is (Y/N) (L/N). And you've always been known as a good kid. That is until your father was murdered by a hero. He did a lot of dirty work, sure, but he did it for his family to survive. And when a hero took him down, everyone cheered. They never though about his family. Nor his place in the world. They saw him as dirt. The same way you started seeing heros.

To you, heros didn't care about the villians and didn't care whether they died or lived. They were savage beasts who needed to be taken down. You became a villian. You would assassinate hero after hero with the simple tittle of "Marrow." And that's when you met the League.

They had the same ideals as you and could help make your dream a reality.

You joined the League, but you were still you. You were a seemingly innocent flower that blossomed in any form of villainous mayhem.

Your quirk was known as simply bone manipulation. You could manipulate your bones however you pleased and you could even shoot them out like needles. But, you were at higher risk for osteoporosis.

Its been 6 months since then and you've made yourself at home with the LOV. Twice and Toga were your closest friends now, but Shigaraki just hits different.

You'd go out and have fun with your two close friends, and to be honest, you're pretty sure that you three had pulled every prank possible on Dabi. Kurogiri was like a dad to you now. He gave lots of great advice and made sure that you kept up with your online college classes in between villian duties.

But shigaraki was a whole other story.

I mean, he was usually crule and hateful towards everyone, but the League was his soft spot. He treats members like family. He cherishes them. Even if he doesn't say it. He almost always have been putting them first.

And it made you kind of...attracted to him.

Yeah, he was dryer than the Saharan Desert, and had a diet of strictly microwavable ramen and redbull, but he was actually a good guy. You caught yourself staring at him a few times per day and your crush on him was appearant to you as well as all the other members.

So here you were, staring in awe at Tomura as he and Dabi played against eachother in Mortal Kombat. (They'd fight at least once a day, so Kurogiri made up the idea of fighting in Mortal combat instead whenever they got fed up with eachother) You blushed, seeing Shigaraki so serious. Ugh, there's just something about him...

Toga walked into the room and sat down in the loveseat next to you. She smirked before loudly announcing, "Gee, (Y/N)! It looks like your boyfriend, Tomura, is winning!" You started choking her.

No, deadass.

You fucking wrapped your hands around her neck and violently shook her head back and forth like Bart and Homer Simpson. Toga just laughed and moaned, causing you to feel too violated to keep choking her. You let go and as you did, Shigaraki stood up and started making fun of Dabi for being a "Bitch ass loser."

You blushed deeply, eyes lidded while gazing at the crusty boy. All you could see was Shigaraki, hearts around him as he did his breathtaking victory dance in slow motion. His gorgeous, dehydrated body swayed and jiggled happily as he jumped a few times, white specs gently fluttered from his head. His dandruff glistening in the florescent lights, as you sighed, absolutely smitten. Dabi rolled his eyes at his boss before looking at you. He then smirked. This cant be good.

Dabi chuckled. "Oh okay, Shiggy, you beat me fair and square." Shigaraki looked at him suspiciously. "It's okay though." He smirked, "Because I'm sure that (Y/N) can give me a little pick-me-up!"

The white haired boy glarred at Dabi then at you. Dabi slyly slipped over to you and Toga. He grabbed you be your wrist and pulled you up to stand. You were too flustered out of your mind to even do anything. He wrapped both of his hands around your waist. "Isn't that right, baby?"

You laughed awkwardly, "Dabi, not to be rude or anything, but you seem like a heavy man and I don't know if I could manage carrying all of your body weight if I were to pick you up, I mean my bones are kinda brittle as they are and-"

He brought his face to yours and kissed your neck softly. "We're gonna have some fun tonight, right?" You fucking hit him with a suplex, a small crack being heard from your hip. God damn it, your fucking brittle ass bones! Everyone burst out in laughter (aside from Kurogiri who was facepalming). Dabi sat on the floor rubbing his head in pain. "Fuck, (Y/N)! It was a joke!"

You folded your arms and frowned. "Well don't joke around with me like that!" Heat rose to your cheeks, "Especially in front of T-Tomura..." You looked at your boss to see him still too busy laughing at Dabi getting backflipped. You smiled shyly, holding your cheeks and wiggling like the love sick shit you are. He's so dreamy~ oh my, is he coughing up blood from laughing too hard?

You looked in disgust for a moment before sighing loudly. Ugh, it's so sexy when he coughs up blood! Shigaraki looked at his hand before licking the blood back into his mouth like a fucking heathen-

Sorry.

Your fucking heathen.

Later that night, everyone was out and about, leaving you and Shigaraki alone. He was drinking a glass of rum and coke as you doodled in a little notebook. You looked up to see him staring at you already. You both quickly looked away. It's been rough lately, dealing with your crush on him.

And Tomura was catching on.

Well, kinda.

He thinks he's really ugly and unworthy of love, so he thinks you just stare at him because you're still taken back at how hideous (he believes) he is. He's been wearing Father on his face more often and been getting more easily upset at you. But, he was also confused because he was starting to like your fragile self.

He's scared that he'll break you with one tap of the finger. That's just how fragile you seem. Shigaraki smiled softly, staring deeply into his glass.

(Y/N) seems so fragile, but they're a god damn hurricane.

Shigaraki swirled his cup around, deep in thought. How can they fight so well when they seem so brittle? It's strange. It's unexpected... It's interesting. Your boss' cheeks turned a tint of pink. (Y/N) can pull off a suplex on Dabi. Their back bent so far... I wonder what (Y/N) looks like arching it for me... He looked over at your figure. You were awkwardly dangling your feet off the couch, seeming to be lost in thought. Tomura sighed and took another whisk of his drink. They're way too cute for me...

There's been a lot of awkward times with you two alone. And you could both feel the tension. Shigaraki left to his room with a small sigh. He hates basically everything. But you? He might just love you.

You two hung out a lot actually. You'd play videogames together and have small movie nights for the two of you. You vividly remembered cuddling up beside him one winter night. It was snowing and you two chatted while sitting on the floor making Smores in the fireplace.

But it got harder and harder to be around eachother when you both started liking eachother. It got...awkward. And the night that Tomura asked you if you wanted to watch a horror movie with you and got a concerned face from you was the night his heart broke. You just didn't want to accidentally grab him at a jumpscare and have him laugh at you for being a pussy. But he thought that you just didnt trust him.

You sighed, thinking about that shitty night, and walked to Shigaraki's room. You had to tell him about your feelings. You knocked softly and was allowed to enter. Shigaraki was sitting in bed, wide awake, just sitting there, staring at the wall in front of him in thought.

You sat awkwardly on his bed in a tense silence for a good minute as the man just stared awkwardly at you through the hand on his face. Shigaraki sighed when he noticed you werent going to say anything, and he set Father down on his nightstand.

"(Y/N), I feel uncomfortable with you staring at me all the time." Heat rushed to your cheeks and you stared harder at the  ground. "I get that I'm ugly, but you should know how rude it is to stare-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" You glarred at him, anger boiling up. "The fuck did you just call yourself?!"

He glarred right back at you. "I said I was ugly, did I stutter?"

Yeah. Youre choosing to ignore that attitude. "Tomura, you're not ugly."

He rolled his eyes. "There is literally no other reason for you to be staring at me that much, mutt."

You folded your arms with a frown. "I think you're handsome."

He laughed.

He laughed hard as hell.

For a good 3 minutes straight.

"Oh thats a good one, (Y/N)! You know, I'm actually enjoying you-"

"I'm serious!" You poked his chest hard while getting closer to his face, your eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. "I think you have pretty eyes!" You poked him again, "You have a pretty face!" You poked him one last time, "And you're an amazing leader!" Shigaraki went silent with a blush and so did you. You twittled your fingers together, looking away timidly. "I-uh... I think I l-like you, actually."

Tomura chuckled breathlessly with concern for your mental health, eyes darting around uncomfortably. "Are you being...serious...?"

"Mm-hm..."

"Oh....okay." He awkwardly looked away from you with a small blush. Hes never had anyone like him romantically. Actually, not a lot of people even like him generally. And it made it extra weird with you being so damn cute and funny to him. 

You layed down on his bed, anxiety rushing through you. It was weird to tell your boss that you liked him. I mean, its probably gonna be awkward between you two forever! Tomura layed down next to you. His hands overlapping eachother on his chest. You looked over to him with a small awkward smile. "So-uh... do you like me back...?"

Tomura frowned. "Are you fucking dumb??" You winced and he just rolled his eyes. "It would be impossible to not fall in love with you." A small chuckle left your lips as he softly started playing in your (h/t) hair.

You frowned. "Did I say you could touch my hair?"

He rolled his eyes before lifting you up to straddle him. Heat rushed to your cheeks. And you pushed his chest away as your (e/c) eyes darted away. "T-Tomura, what are y-you doing?" You were speechless and flustered. And it wasn't helping that his hands were laying on your waist (pinkies up of course).

Tomura chuckled with a mischevious look in his eyes. He slowly moved his hands up and down your sides. "Let me play with your hair...and as a reward..." He kissed you softly on your lips. "I'll make you feel things you've never felt before...." He licked your ear and you thanked the Lord for that because it just made his mouth a lil less crusty. "Deal?" His breath tickled your ears and your breathing turned into aroused, airy breaths.

"Deal..." Shigaraki smirked before kissing you roughly, his hand engulfed in your (h/t) hair, leaving his middle finger up of course. As his tongue darted around your mouth, he pulled your hair harder, causing a wince of pain from you. His lips left yours quickly.

"Am I being too rough?"

You smiled softly at him. He cares! "Oh, just a little."

Shigaraki grinned before pulling your hair even harder. "You'll get used to that." Your eyes widened in fear and pain as he threw you onto the bed roughly. He kissed you harder, and forced your thighs open with both of his hands, pinkies up.

He laughed with arousal, pressing his clothed member against you. You sighed as he grinded against your bottoms while tongue kissing you. His hands left your thighs and brought themselves to your body. He sucked, kissed, and bit all over your neck and his indexes and thumbs twirled and pulled at your nipples under your shirt.

"Ah-!" You moaned loudly as the man sucked at your soft spot. "T-Tomura!" A small gasp left your lips and his connected to your skin. Mumbled moans came from you, your hand over your mouth. Tomura glarred the second he heard a moan muffled. "H-Hey!" He had grabbed your hand from over your mouth and tightly gripped it with four fingers, pressing it against the headboard.

He grinned widely out of nowhere, "You really thought you could get away with hiding those beautiful sounds from me?" He sat up, unbuckling his jeans. His eyes went cold as he took off his pants and boxer briefs. "I'm gonna have to get some type of...hm, whats the word?" He looked away in though before smiling and snapping his fingers, "Compensation! Yeah...and I know just what I want from you." Shigaraki push you off of the bed roughly. You fell to the floor and rubbed your arm. He sat on the king-sized in front of you with his cock in his hand. "Suck."

You frowned at him. Did he really have to push you off like that? You got on your knees between his thighs and took a good look at it.

Fuck, he's hung...

You covered your mouth with a huge blush. Where the hell did that come from?! He was a good nine inches and quite thick. You frowned at him and pointed at his cock. "The fuck am I supposed to do with this?" He frowned.

Shigaraki didnt say another word. He just grabbed you by the hair and placed it against your lips. You frowned before licking the tip softly, making him laugh breathlessly. "Fuck..." You sucked on his tip and his hand tightened around your hair, pulling a bit. He looked down at you, smirking while absolutely flustered. "Ugh, your little mouth was made for my fat cock, wasn't it, (Y/N)?" He chuckled and pressed your head forward, forcing a bit more of him inside of you. Shigaraki panted as you bobbed your head back and forth on him. "Youre such a fucking slut..." His cheeks was tinted pink as he stared down at you. Tomura started bobbing your head back and forth on him. He laughed as you gagged on him. "What? Is it too big?" Your face went even hotter. How can he be so fucking conceited yet self conscious?! The white hair boy held your face and was practically thrusting into your mouth at this point. He threw his head back and groaned as cum filled your mouth. "Fuck, (Y/N), you're good at that." He watched you like prey as you thumbed the white substance dripping down your chin. You licked your thumb and he chuckled. "How does it taste?"

You smirked at him minscheviously while getting back on the bed. You took off your bottoms and short then spread your legs. "It tastes good enough to deserve a tip, right?" Shigaraki licked his lips as he crawled in between your thighs.

He rubbed you, playing with your slit. "Did sucking me off really get you this turned on?" You flushed and covered your eyes with your forearm. Tomura smirked mischievously as he licked at you. You moaned quietly, his tongue swirling around and his finger going in and out of your hole.

He stuck his ringerfinger in and you squeaked in pleasure. "Mmm... Tomura, I-just like that..." He sucked and licked, getting more sloppy as his fingers pumped in and out of you. He pumoed faster and faster and your small groans turned into loud moaning as you orgasmed. "Fuck Tomura! Ah-!" You came in his mouth, immediately apologizing. Shigaraki just licked his now soaked fingers and you just stared at him, blushing hard as hell. You smiled softly. "H-How do I taste?"

His red eyes prowled your body as he got on top of you. Your cheeks got hotter when he strattled you. You sighed as he rubbed his manhood against you. Small, flustered moans escaped your lips at his teasing. "You taste like you were missing something." His warm breath tickled your ear, "But I'll fix that right up for you."

Tomura slowly entered you. He groaned out your name in ecstasy. You were a bit uncomfortable at first at his thickness. "W-wait, dont move yet..." You breathed in and out slowly, feeling yourself adjust to him. A groan left your lips, "O-okay..."

Tomura grinded against you, kissing your neck as your hands fiddled with his hair. He started off slow, savoring the feeling of you. He sighed into your collarbone. "God, (Y/N), you're so tight..." He cursed underneath his breath, fucking you a bit faster.

Tears pricked at your eyes. This was almost too much for you. Youve always fantasized about being with Shigaraki and now that it was happening, it felt almost too good to be true. He grinded into you deeper, filling you up fully as his hand held both of tour wrists above your head. The bed rocked as he started thrusting into you faster and deeper. "T-Tomura, you feel so good inside of me!" He groaned louder and you couldn't help but become flustered at all of his noises.

He fucked you even faster and harder. "Fuck, youre mine now, okay?" You nodded and moaned louder at him. "Oh fuck!" His white hair bounced as he pulled out and flipped you over. You were on your forearms and knees, begging for him to keep fucking you good as he thrusted in and out, his hand pulling at your hair as the other gave the occasional spank on your ass. Tomura's thrusts became sloppy as you reached your peak. You both moaned loudly, his cum pouring from inside of you. Shigaraki pulled out and immediately collapsed next to you.

You panted as his arms wrapped themselves around you. You smiled at him. "That was good, right?" He chuckled and kissed your lips.

"The best."

You two spooned as Kurogiri had an extra glass of wine, in utter disgust at when he was forced to hear.

[incorrectlumityquotes]

FULL REVIEWS: “Lost In Language”

Lost in language and I don't know much. Was I thinking aloud and fell out of touch? But I'm back on my feet and eager to be what you wanted.

Seriously? Nothing? You guys have never heard Air Supply? I mean, they’re old AF but still. It’s a funny pun. Whatever.

Back in the day (like it was so long ago) I didn’t know what to expect from this episode. The only thing I caught from the description was library, but hoo boy, we got so much more!

I love the cold opens to this show. It always reminds me that Luz is a silly ass hyper fangirl who still wants life to play out like it does on TV. 

“Learning about love and life through the eyes of a child.”

Spoken like a true person who have never done any actual babysitting. The Bat Queen gets her own soft intro for another episode, which I’m noticing more and more re-watching this show. She pays Eda to watch her baby in exchange for a butt-ton of money. Eda, in classic Eda fashion, would rather not split the cash with Luz and gives her an errand to run so she doesn’t have to do it. 

I don’t know about you guys, but liked going to the library when I was a kid. It was the only way I could play computer games or go on the internet. Getting online is the easiest thing in the world today, but when I was a kid, it was a luxury my parents couldn’t afford. And dumb-dumb kid me didn’t know that you can borrow movies and comic for free at the library too. That’s how I saw Jaws for the first time.

The library at The Boiling Isles is almost exactly what I expected. Kinda like the Hogwarts library, but with a lot more teeth and eyes everywhere. Luz has a bunch of fun just messing around, until she stumbles upon the cutest goddamn thing ever!

Amity reading to kids at the public library in her free time. My god.

I’m with Luz here. Holy hell, I did not see that coming. I thought Amity was the rival character, the Draco Malfoy of the show, the reluctant ally, the jerk with the heart of gold DEEP in there somewhere. Instead she’s at the Kid’s Corner reading her favorite childhood classic to toddlers. I didn’t know there were angels in the demon realm.

Stop. Stop! You’re already cute.

Seriously this moment made me go “aw” and laugh at the same time. It was weird. Also how does this library have a manga section? Do they import these books from JAPAN in the HUMAN REALM? Is there a publishing company that acts as the middleman? Or are these just the books that the trash slugs ended up barfing on the beach somewhere? I’m thinking too hard about a throwaway joke in the background. Big brain hurt.

AND back to reality...

Luz tries to extend the hand of friendship to Amity and Amity rejects it. I have...thoughts.

First, they this up with another parallel to Azura in the beginning of the episode. I get it. It’s a theme that they are doing, but I would have rather have Luz try to befriend Amity because she wants to, not because Azura did it. It’s not the only reason she does it, but it does kinda bug me a bit. It kinda goes back to Luz wanting life to play out like a story. 

Also, a part of me thinks that this is something Amity likes to do alone. Her way of getting away from everyone else and just do something that she enjoys and makes her feel good. We have no proof that it gives her extra credit, so she could just use that as a way to save face. She seemed so happy to do it too. 

Finally, you know what this else this reminds me of? The Karate Kid and Cobra Kai. There’s a popular fan theory that has been around since the eighties that if you look at The Karate Kid from the rival’s perspective, the protagonist is the bully. I’m more than sure that’s what going on here. From Amity’s perspective, Luz just gets her into trouble. We’ll get more into that later.

Luz walks off dejected and we get the second big surprise to punch me in the face.

Holy hell, why the fuck are you two so goddamn fucking pretty? I mean, holy shit, look at these two. My god. And ERICA LINDBECK as Emira? Jesus Christ, I’m going to be feeling things I shouldn’t be feeling in places I can’t say!

Joking aside, we get one of our first full introductions that didn’t come with a soft intro from a previous episode. Enter Emira and Emira, Amity’s older siblings who in true sibling fashion like to give Amity a hard time.  

“Hey, mittens!”

This seems normal at first. Siblings always rib each other. No big deal.

Amity storms off. The twins introduce themselves proper to Luz (and the audience) and they mess around for a bit. 

In fact, they have so much fun messing around with Luz that they decide to invite her back afterhours to check out The Wailing Star. Luz thinks that this is a great way to get on Amity’s good side by befriending her siblings. Why she would think this I have no idea.

Meanwhile the B-plot continues its adventures in babysitting. I don’t like using the word filler (so I won’t) but this B-plot is really just for two things: setting up Escape of the Palisman and jokes. It does both. No harm, no foul.

Also the twins said for Luz to meet back at midnight and Luz was at The Owl House for like a hot second. There’s like a huge gap of time there. What did she do until midnight? Whatever. If it was important it would have been animated.

Also also, I love all of Luz’s little saying in this episode. She does it a lot but they cranked it up in this episode. Featuring great hits like:

“This sour lemon drop has a hidden sweet center.”

and

“I thought we were as cool as cucumbers but we’re as sour as pickles.”

and my favorite

“Call me a library book because they were checking me out.”

I hope they keep doing that.

Back at the literal Wailing Star (I laughed so hard), The twins and Luz discover that The Wailing Star brings the content of the books to life. Does that work for all books in The Boiling Isles or just the library? Enough. No more big brain. The three proceed to...mess around some more.

The twins discover offscreen (Really? Really.) that if you edit the contents of the book, you change what comes to life. Then the twins reveal their true objectives. Apparently, Amity has been tattling on the twins whenever they cut class or do whatever it is that they want. They’ve decided to look for her secret little hideaway (that they somehow know is in the library), find her diary and post all the pages all over school to teach her a lesson. 

Um, fucking no.

And here we enter the true lesson of this episode and probably the reason why Hecate is draw with two faces. People being more than just what they appear to be at face value. 

Amity appears to be the bully character of the show, and while she did bully Willow, Luz and King, there’s more to her than that. Amity is lonely. As a fellow person who grew up lonely, trust me. I can tell from a mile away. She puts pressure on herself to be the best at whatever she’s doing and to be the best. She hates that she follows the rules but people like her siblings seem to get rewarded for breaking the rules and doing whatever they want free of consequence. She sees the double standard that they live by and it angers her. But at the same time, everyone seems to give the twins a free pass so she can’t do anything about it. 

Even worse, there’s no one for her to confide in. It wouldn’t make it better but it would make it easier for her to just vent and get the bullshit out of her brain. She doesn’t like her friends and the one friend she did like...that’s for another episode. Hence, the diary. Amity is a big ball of frustration and loneliness. I know because I grew up in a very similar way.

When you’re forced to keep your anger inside you, you lash out at any little thing that bothers you just to ease your frustrations. It doesn’t make it okay but it’s the only way to cope sometimes just to get by.

The twins on the other hand seem like everything you’d want in a friend. They’re fun; they like you; they’re attractive; they’re attentive. But in reality, they live in a world where they believe consequences and accountability don’t apply to them. And they’ll do anything to keep it that way. Even humiliate their sister.

Luz seems like a happy-go-lucky, friends to all things kinda person, but she can also be innocently insensitive. She just does things hoping they turn out the way they would for Azura without considering how the people around her would feel about it.

It doesn’t make any of these characters two-faced. We just are different things to different people.

Amity discovers what’s going down and Luz (being the empathic person that she is) decide to try to go talk to her. 

Then I’m reminded that this is a horror-comedy.

My god, you’re ugly.

One climax later (don’t laugh), and Luz and Amity try to make amends with each other. They both have to think about how they’ve been treating the other, earning the title of bully or not. They’re not friends yet but this is...better.

FINAL SCORE: 5 - Loved it.

Damn, The Owl House is one a roll. That’s what? Three 5 scored episodes already? Hot damn. This episode was fun but it really hit hard with the character work on Amity. She quickly became one of the most interesting characters and a fan favorite. And the third act provided a good amount of horror to call this a horror comedy. The B-plot is fine but probably one of the weakest only saved by several funny jokes. This is one of those episodes I kept coming back to and a favorite to watch.

Could you two please not? I’m gonna get in trouble.

[full-of-roman-angst-trash]

A Prince’s Room

Part 2

Concept by @yeet-ceit

TW: Unsympathetic Sides (Except for Roman), Perfectionism, Self-Doubt, Cursing, Arguing, Injury? (Roman gets slapped). If I missed any, pleased tell me and I will add it.

Pairings: None

Word Count: 1807

Roman wants to be perfect. No, he needs to be perfect. And part of being perfect is being a good friend. Roman loves the other sides. He loves them more than anything in the world. Even more than Disney and musical theater. His friends are the main reason why his still holding on. He doesn’t want to lose them. He can’t lose them. He won’t survive if he does.

So, to make sure he doesn’t he takes notes. He writes down ways to make sure he’s constantly improving. Any bad habits that the others point out or flaws he writes down and tries to fix. 

The lists went on and on. Hung up on the walls of his room to make sure he always remembers. And as time goes on, more and more is added to the list. Every small addition getting him one step closer to perfection.

Remember to keep your voice level normal. Don’t talk too loudly.

Stop being so dramatic, you're taking too much attention away from the others.

Don’t be too confident, it comes off as cocky and no one like someone that’s too cocky.

Don’t rant about your interest for too long it gets annoying and boring.

Don’t be selfish, no one likes a selfish person.

....................

The chart came along a few months later. 

Roman had already been taking notes on how to please his friends however he decided to reorganize his notes into a chart. Each side had their own section containing list of what they liked, disliked, what cheered them up, and what upsets them.

Logan

Likes: Crofters, astrology, coffee, books, teaching, silence, human anatomy, schedules, deadlines, Thomas being productive, debating, constellations, being listened to, law, learning, classical music, poetry, Sherlock.

Dislikes: Being ignored, unnecessary emotions, sweets, dumb people, someone being too loud, childish movies, games, being behind schedule, illogical decisions, jokes, unrealistic dreams.

What makes him happy?: Stargazing, writing, meeting deadlines, winning debates, telling random facts, rapping, his onesie, reading, being left alone, being called cool, teaching.

What upsets him?: Being treated as a joke, being teased, being reminded of his mistakes, making mistakes, being ignored or overlooked, losing a debate, feeling dumb.

Patton

Likes: Cookies, drawing, cure animals, compliments, happy songs, seeing his friends happy, t.v shows, helping others, singing, dancing, playing dress up, stuffed animals, gifts, holidays, baking, sweets.

Dislikes: Screaming, loud noises, getting stuff thrown at him, blood, weapons, violence, seeing his friends injured, sad movies and stories.

What makes him happy?: Cuddles, movie nights, being showered with affection, cookies, drawing, karaoke nights, talking about his emotions, playing games with his friends, helping others, his onesie. 

What upsets him?: Seeing an animal die, seeing people in pain, being forced to grow up, seeing his friends in hurt, not being able to help someone, disappointing someone, letting Thomas down, letting his emotions control him.

Virgil

Likes: Candles, alternative music, spiders, his hoodie, Tim Burton films, My Chemical Romance, headphones, fidget cubes, staying up late, drama shows, bats, knives, collecting pins.  

Dislikes: The ocean, sudden loud noises, cheesy pop music, people that are too optimistic (except for Patton), someone being mean to his friends,

What makes him happy?: Doing makeup, painting his nails, listening to music, Patton’s baking, playing with his pet spider, meditating, watching murder myterious, watching Disney and Tim Burton movies.

What upsets him?: Being put on the spot, being called evil, being treated like an innocent kid, being called a darkside, being called a disorder rejection, talk about serious topics such as suicide and self harm. 

Remus

Likes: Gore, blood, mud, fighting, collecting weapons, deodorant, musicals, inappropriate jokes, Fleischer Studios, pranks, dancing, mythical creatures, things that glow in the dark, random t.v shows, horror movie, slime, candy, octopus, skirts, crop tops.

Dislikes: Cheesy love songs, rules, normal food aside from fast food, birds, learning, shaving, reading, romance movies/shows, backstabbers, lying, shaving cream, showers, losing fights.

What makes him happy?: Dissecting stuff, fighting, pranking others, dancing, singing, coming up with outfit ideas, punching stuff, playing with slime, reenacting horror movies, inappropriate jokes, hanging out in his trash can, being pet, Shrek, eating deodorant, someone doing his makeup.

What upsets him?: Being abandoned or left behind, being told he isn’t good enough, being compared to me, seeing Janus upset, seeing Virgil upset, being told to shave.

Janus

Like: Snakes, philosophy, Greek mythology, sewing, horror movies, mystery books, murder documentaries, self care, sleeping, warm baths, weighted blankets, debating, law.

Dislikes: The cold, when someone takes his hat, dumb comedy movies, eagles, action movies, unnecessary violence or gore, close minded people, liars, sharing secrets, being vulnerable. 

What makes hims happy?: Massages, weighted blankets, cuddling, hanging out with Remus, acting, having debates, seeing Remus and Virgil playfully argue, watching murder mysteries, singing.

What upsets him?: Being called evil, being ignored, seeing Remus or Virgil upset, Thomas not taking care of himself, being replaced, being left behind, people not understanding him, someone making fun of his scales, taking off his gloves.

....................

“Come on pussy! Let’s just march into his room, what’s the worse that could happen?”

“Language!” Patton quickly scolds Remus.

“What if he’s in there and he screams at us for barging in?! What if he gets really mad and chooses to get physical!? What if we see something we don’t want to!? What if he’s asleep and he get mad that we woke him up!? What if-”

“Virgil,” Logan interrupts the panicking side, “Your anxiety is causing you to catastrophize. Please, take a deep breath and try to filter out your cognitive distortion.”

The anxious side nods and takes a few deep breaths to calm himself.

“Now, I would like to add that I personally believe that Remus’ plan isn’t the worst idea ever and is currently the best one we have.” The logical side states.

“Well, while I love to agree with Remus, he is wrong in this instance,” 

Remus smirks widely, “Awe! Thanks Jany~ You’re too generous~”

The deceitful side rolls his eyes, “Let’s just go.”

“Fine,” Virgil stands up, looking rather done with everything.

The rest of the sides stand up as well and begin to make their way to the prince’s room.

Once they make it to his door, Remus immediately just breaks the door down and lets himself in.

“Surprise!”

 They walk in, greeted only by silence.

“He isn’t here?” Patton mumbles to himself.

“Doesn’t look like it. Let’s not go then.”

The other sides nod and start making their way out. Well, everyone except for Logan. 

The logical side instead gets distracted by a paper stabled to the wall. He walks over to it and reads it to himself. Once he’s done reading his looks around the room and notices all the papers on the wall. As well, as the lack of theater and Disney merchandise.

“Wait, doesn't Roman’s room look,” He pauses to search for the right words, “Wrong?”

The other sides stop walking and looks around.

���Now that you mention it,” Remus mumbles, “His room has changed a lot since I last saw it...”

The other start reading through the endless papers of tips to improve himself and advice. 

Suddenly Patton stops in front of a chart titled “Duties”

He slowly goes over it and buy the time he is done he is fuming with rage.

“What the hell!? Guys come look at this!”

The others go over, slightly amused and concerned.

Each of them take turns analyzing the chart. 

Roman had spend his day at the Imagination. After the whole wedding accident, he’s been stuck in a very toxic place and well he thought a small guest might help. So, he left early in the morning and began his guest. He hadn’t meant to stay there for as long as he did but he lost track of time. 

“Kiddo, we have a lot to talk about,” Patton mumbles in a passive aggressive tone.

....................

As the tired side starts approaching his room, he notices that all the either sides are gathered outside his room. Once he’s a bit closer, Virgil is the first to notice him. To his shock though, Virgil rushes to him and slaps him

“Roman, what the fuck!?”

Roman stands there shocked for a few minutes before looking at Patton, expecting to hear him scold Virgil. Instead however, Patton just look away from him.

“ANSWER ME!”

“I-...” Roman bites his lip to hold back the tears in his eyes, “I-I don’t understand... W-what did I do....?”

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING!?”

The prince-like-side flinches and looks down.

Remus puts a hand on Virgil’s shoulder, "Let me handle this.”

For some reason, Roman thought that Remus would be on his side. He thought that if anyone understood what he was trying to do, it would be his brother. Or that his brother would at least explain what happened and let him tell his part of the story.

So, he looked up with a hopeful expression. 

“Don’t look at me like that. What the fuck is wrong with you!? If you think we were such a hassle then why did you stay friends with us!?”

Any hope that Roman had immediately leaves his body, “I-I... I never said that! Where is this coming?!”

“DON’T BULLSHIT ME, ROMAN!” Remus summons his morning star, “WE SAW THE FUCKING CHART! SO, WHAT!? WE’RE NOTHING MORE THAN “DUTIES” TO YOU!?” 

The usual confident side is now frozen in shock. They weren’t supposed to see that chart. They weren’t supposed to see his room at all. If Roman was being honest, he could understand why they took the chart the wrong way. The name of it wasn’t exactly the best but it was all he could think of while actually making it. Now though, he wished he would have pushed himself to think of a better name.

“N-No! You got it all wrong!” He is now crying, flinching away from his brother, “I was just trying to make you guys happy!”

Remus scoffs and puts his weapon away. He walks away from Roman and returns to Janus’ side.

“Whatever, Roman.”

His knees give out and he falls to the floor in defeat.

“I would greatly appreciate if you keep your distance from Patton and I from now on. If you fail to do so, I can’t exactly guarantee that I will be nice. Goodbye Roman.”

“Fucking pussy.” Remus throws out.

And just like that Logan sinks down with a crying Patton.

“And I thought I was the snake,” Janus adds, looking at him in pure disgust.

Then, they’re gone.

For a few seconds Virgil stares at the broken prince in front of him.

“You really are an idiot.”

He looks away from him and sinks down with a scoff leaving the weeping prince on the floor. 

Alone.

....................

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales 87 Reviews: Aqua Ducks (CACC P3) or Launchpad and Doofus: Kings Of Atlantis

My look at the Catch as Cash Can 4-Parter commissioned by @weirdkev27​ enters it’s worst chapter as Scrooge heads under the sea with Launchpad, Gyro and for some reason Doofus, and find the lost city of Atlantis has become a trash dump for a bunch of asshole frog people who enslave them to pick up their trash. But Launchpad rides a Dolphin so like episode it at least has.. something... if not much Horrors and the full review await you under the cut. 

Previously on Ducktales: 

Now that’s out of the way where we.. ah yes 

I remembered this episode for being bad the first time around, if not many details, but HOPE my dread was unjustified and this was a hidden gem.. I was wrong. While the last episode in this four parter, utterly classic moment aside, was a mess, it was a FUN mess that had Peter Cullen, Donald Duck, a robotic whale, robotic ice cream trucks, and an utterly stupid wannabe noble prize winner. It was So bad it was decent. This.. is just not very good and there’s no sense dragging it out let’s get into why.  We open with Launchpad in his helicopter and i’m HAPPY to finally get to see him in this four parter. He’s been gone for the first two parts, if justifably since he wasn’t needed for either of them, but just like Donald when he’s missing on the reboot, it’s still nice to have him back. And as you can tell unlike Beakly, I LIKE 87 Launchpad quite a bit. He’s friendly, means well, is a skilled if crash prone pilot and has a seriously deep problem with insecurity that, as someone whose frequently self doubting or self defeating himself, I can relate. He’s one of the more fleshed out characters of the reboot and there’s good reason he was the one to carry over to the spinoff and got bumped up to one of the main trio there. I do still like the reboot version, who while made even dumber but is still very likeable.  But yeah he’s taking Scrooge to see Gyro, whose built the salvage vehicle Scrooge was going to ask him about last time and is working on some balloon devices to send the money back up with Doofus.. whose.. there for some reason. No really none is given and he could’ve easily been the boys, but Russi Taylor must’ve wanted a justified day off or something because their just.. absent. And while Launchpad being absent made some sense, again he wasn’t needed story or character wise and I respect both Ducktales tendency to swap out, if not the reboot’s tendency to forget Donald in season 1 and Beakly for the series as a whole, though this season is doing slightly better with her. But the boys have been with this bet from day one, been invaluable in the first episode for helping scrooge and are reliable and useful.. and are just at home because shut up and replaced with a far more obnoxious character.  Yeah Doofus isn’t great. He’s sweet, I’ll give him that and he DOES come in handy this episode.. but he doesn’t really do anything the boys or webby couldn’t do. He’s just around to tell three jokes: Either he’s dumb, he’s annoying to the cast, or 

He adds nothing, takes up space and is only useful this episode because the plot was catered to make him that way. He’s just one long meanspirited fat shaming joke coupled with a few dum dum jokes. I can see why Frank and Matt couldn’t stand him and made the reboot version into an utter human nightmare. At least his horrible goblin of a reboot version is INTRESTING and a good antagonist for the boys, and his worst aspects are now tempered by the great dynamic of giving him Boyd as a brother. This one is just.. bad. 

As for Gyro, he’s alright, likeable enough and interesting. The reboot one’s good in his own right, even if it took a while for them to find the right balance of likeable and jackass, and both are decent enough. Not as much to say there so with all my opinions out of the way we can get this terrible episode into gear.  Our crew, which STILL includes Doofus for some reason seriously...

I mean that there’s no reason to take him along by Gyro or anybody and he does nothing but annoy scrooge with his sardines and peanut butter and communication with dolphins  while Scrooge makes mean spirited fat jokes. 

Picture jokes aside.. yeah Scrooge is just as likeable this episode as he’s a mean dickhead to pretty much everybody, and that’s the WORST kind of comics story in my opinion so I do not like it here. While Launchpad can be dum, doofus is genuinely annoying and Gyro does screw up majorly in a second, all three are well meaning and want to help Scrooge while he’s a dick. And while this is the episodes point as he underestimates and mocks them only for them to save the day, we’ll get to that, and then thanks them at the end, it doesn’t make it fun or pleasant to WATCH him constantly berate everyone. It’s like watching later seasons rick and morty, and just as tiring. 

Anyways back to the plot, uuuuuurrrruugugguhhhhh, they descend into the Marinara trench with Scrooge being elated at going deeper than anyone and i’ts pretty much the only time he feels well written the whole episode. But Gyro spoils the mood by revealing he didn’t do proper testing on the Gold Digger, the subs name for.. some reason.. even though it’s not an excavation vehicle but whatever At least it’s not robot in the family’s gold digger. But a small malfunction aside it works, though still man you were TOLD this needed to go under extreme pressure. you had ONE job and could’ve told scrooge it might not be ready and let him decide. Not having the time is understandable but not telling Scrooge when the pressure’s this high is not. 

This ends up going nowhere however as they soon run into literal Frogmen, a decent pun, and the joys of froggy men ruined both by lazy feeling designs and the fact their really annoying. Their voices are okay, as they drag our heroes to see their leader but we soon find out their schtick: Their mad because humans keep dumping shit in their ocean. 

This isn’t a bad motivator, it’s been used for superhero/supervillian depending on the time of day Namor at marvel for decades for good reason and it’s not bad to tell kids not to pollute.. but it hurts your message when the person telling you this decides to solve this issue by extreme and loathsome methods that make them come across as an ass. Namor attacks cities, has killed hundreds and currently is trying to ban people from the ocean despite many depending on it. These guys are enslaving people they have no idea if they’ve done anything or not, instead of at the very least ransoming them to get better treatment or interrogating them. Nope they just put them to work hauling rocks and tires for them to use in the ruins of atlantis. Oh and the ruins of Atlantis is their junkyard so that’s a thing and will be important in the next part. That concept.. is actually pretty neat and I think was in the barks story this was based off.. yeah while I don't’ remember the story well he too had a story where merpeople kidnapped scrooge and the boys, it was different than this but only slightly more tolerable and not one of his better stories. Moving on. 

Point is creative idea aside i’ts just a boring, unpleasant watch as our heroes are trapped in an air pocket after a days work, and their guard is just your standard sneering jackass villain. Outside of the Atlantis as a junkyard concept there’s nothing new here even for the time it was made. Secret society captures and enslaves our hero’s was a common trope as far back as the 40′s. This is just tedious and played out. It’s why this review has less jokes and more be banging my head against the wall in text form: it’s just not Funny mockable. Sure scrooge is a dick, but it’s not in a way that’s easy to make fun of. Sure Doofus befriends a dolphin via sardine bribes but hta’ts more sad it’s the only way he can make friends than anything. It’s just plodding, tedious and bad. 

But yeah our heroes are stranded without their helmets but Scrooge, not trusting the other three because again dick, had them distract the guards next shift.. though really he has no high ground when not much earlier his loudly mentoining they hadn’t taken their helmets got them taken away. But he makes a break for the Gold Digger, only for the assholes of the sea to throw out their trump card: A giant sea monster named Glubzilla because this episode can’t just let a good monster design sit and has to give it a dumb name. The Gold Digger is destroyed and our heroes stranded.. instead of you know.. studying the thing to make more of them or forcing gyro to make more out of their junk to attack the surface? Seriously these guys suck at being vengeful atlantians. You have a super genius and a giant sea monster! Attack! Gah this episode hurts my think pan. 

So Scrooge is seperate and left to slowly drown for the rest of the episode while the rest of the team comes up with a plan. Doofus brings up some soda Gyro made earlier I forgot to mention, and Gyro comes up with the idea to FLOAT Atlantis to the top and escape with not only scrooge’s fortune but any other treasure they’ve gotten. He just needs rubber, which Doofus’ dolphin friend provides and was shown to be good at earlier.. and was scared off by one of the guards despite you know.. making the job go faster. It doesn’t mean Doofus works less it just means one part of his job gets done quicker so you can have him do more. You can’t even get forced manual labor right you assholes. These guys make NAMOR tolerable by comparison and he spent most of his time with the x-men trying to bang Cyclops girlfriend with no regards to her being in a relationship because “Well their not married doesn’t count”.. which olds no water when he STILL has hit on Sue Richards for what will be 80 years next year with no regards for Reed. Point is Namor’s a dick and these guys are somehow worse. At least Namor is competent. Gah.. let’s move on.  Point is gyro can get things going, and has everything he needs now he just needs to smear it on the coral to finish it off and send Atlantis up and a reluctant and annoyed Launchpad is elected to ride Doofus’ dolphin. What follows is Launchpad riding a dolphin which is awesome.. but like most of this episode it’s made obnoxious by the padding of the sequence. Launchpad howeve ris able to lead Globzilla away when he shows up and eventually beats the thing as it holds Atlantis down by tickling it.. which was actually a good joke good job episode you told one!. Our heroes escape, Scrooge is saved from drowning, and in one more actually good gag the Frogs boo scrooge for taking away their trash.. before realizing he’s taking away pretty much all their trash and cheer him.  So the day’s saved, Scrooge apologizes as mentioned and we’re in the final stretch of this four parter. Thank god this is over. 

Final Thoughts: I hated it.. it was boring, the villians were dumb, have been done better before and were a chore to watch, it was filled with padding, Scrooge and Doofus were obnoxious, It wasn’t good and I dont’ want to ever watch it again and wouldn’t have if I wasn’t paid to. I remembered it being bad.. it was worse. If you think there’s a worse episode of the original ducktales, feel free to force me to watch it, because I genuinely don’t think this thing can be topped, just give me a pm or an ask asking to commission it and we can set one up, it’s only 5 dollars for one episode, 15 for a movie, and for a bunch of episodes at once i’ts 5 dollars off your total order. Next time we finish this daunting but rewarding, both in money and in knowledge, quest. Until then, wear a mask, check your house for Gary Busey and hopefully i’ll see you again.  

[softyoongiionly]

Fear and Dumplings: Chapter Nine

Confronting your fears for a final grade sounds unappealing but, with Yoongi as your partner, things might not be so bad.

Summary: You’re in your final semester at University when your Abnormal Psychology professor assigns you a partnered project surrounding your greatest fears. Lucky for you, your partner just so happens to be a cute boy named Min Yoongi.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Underground Rapper! Yoongi, Soft!!! Yoongi, Fluff!!!, some moderate angst (later), smut (later later), slow-ish? burn.

Word Count: 8.3k (holy moly)

A/N: Thank you all for waiting! Don’t forget to check out my post to weigh in on my upcoming fics :)

Warnings for this Chapter: language aka the bros are wild as usual, smut, also if you’re afraid of spiders, they are mention in (gross) detail later in the chapter.

Warnings for the Fic: mentions characters confronting their fears, characters in uncomfortable situations, emotional moments between characters, mentions of bad parenting, explicit language throughout the fic, moderate angst, and very explicit smut later in the story.

Chapter 9: Spiders and Scary Movies

“So…like…was it big or?” Jimin’s mischievous voice twinkles though the speaker causing Tae to chuckle. Jungkook wrinkles his nose, vigorously shaking his head.

“I don’t know why that matters, when all they did was hold hands…right Y/N?” Jungkook chimes in over Jimin’s voice, giving you a pointed look.

You giggle, shaking your head before leaning back against the arm of your couch. As promised, you had FaceTimed your friends after your study group to inform them that, no, you did not in fact sleep with a man named August.

“Right, that’s it, just a lot of hand holding and absolutely nothing else.” You agree, your lips pursed in attempt to hold in your laughter.

Jungkook looks pleased with your response, his face relaxing momentarily but, its short lived when Taehyung pipes up to give his two cents.

“That’s funny…” He begins smirking, nodding to you. “I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a hickey from holding someone’s hand before.”

Jungkook’s brows raise up in horror as his face snaps up toward you, wide eyes frantically searching your face and neck. With a furrowed brow you look into the screen, trying to locate the cause of the commotion. Your teeth tuck into your lip as you finally spot the aggravated bit of violet skin near the base of your neck. You hadn’t even noticed it when you were rushing to get ready earlier in the day and, the realization that your friends at your study group had definitely seen it, quickly washes over you

“Must have held his hands too tight…” You concede, smirking to yourself

“Y/N…” Jimin whines, he flops his head back onto his bed, looking mildly impatient. “Tell us what happened…I’ve been waiting all day. Kookie just cover your ears if you don’t want to hear about it.”

“I’m not giving you his measurements Minnie…” You insist, giggling at his antics.

“If you guys keep talking about the details of his dick, I’m hanging up.” Jungkook grumbles, his lips pouted and, you can’t help but notice how much he looks like his younger self: pouting because Jimin and Tae forgot his banana milk on their convenience store run.  

You recount the story to your best friends, detailing the events over the last 24 hours however, you are careful to avoid any details that involve Yoongi’s behavior during sex. To be honest, it was something you were still mulling over in your own head and, so much had happened so fast, you still hadn’t had much time to process it. Besides, you liked Yoongi and, you didn’t feel right exposing a part of him that he likely wanted to keep private.

“Wait…you like…like him like him…” Taehyung observes ever so eloquently as you wrap up your story, his face slightly surprised.

You bite your lip in thought, giggling at his jovial conclusion before nodding.

“Yeah…I think I do.” Your voice wavers slightly but, you smile up at the faces on your screen, confident in your response.

“Awwwww my baby has a crush.” Jimin coos, his eyes swimming with fondness as he beams, his puffy lips making kissy faces at the screen. “…and she got some good dick, I’m so proud of you.” Jimin finishes, pretending to cry as he wipes invisible tears from his cheeks.  

“So, since he’s a rapper does he say “Skrrrt!” when he cums?” Jungkook finally pipes up after a long period of silence, his initial apprehension clearly wearing off.

His comment causes the three of you to burst out in a fit of laughter, Jungkook joining in soon after as he sees that his ridiculous joke was successful.

Eyes rolling, you reply through the chorus of giggling, “You’re so dumb, stop!”

Jungkook snickers, clearly proud of himself as he adjusts the collar of his sweater, he looks over at Taehyung for a moment, mumbling something to him, before Tae nods in response, smirking.

“Yah! Secrets don’t make friends! What are you two mumbling about?” Jimin protests, one of his hands running through his pink locks, his eyebrows raised in offense.

They both chuckle shaking their heads at him before Tae nods to the screen.

“What are you two doing next weekend?”  

“Probably studying for finals…and crying…definitely crying.” You conclude, accepting your fate as finals were only three weeks away and, you had so much left to do.

“I’m in rehearsal most of the weekend but, I have Friday night off so, I can rest.” Jimin explains and a soft smile graces your features momentarily as you hear that Jimin scheduled a rest day; proud that he had taken your advice.

“Well…Kook and I are gonna be at Kappa Sigma’s senior party so, you guys should keep Friday night open…for some entertainment” Taehyung casually drops the bit of news, still smirking towards Jungkook who is now looking toward his floor. A flash of different emotions play on your face as you look between the two men. Jimin obviously responds first, failing to address the confusing aspect of their announcement, his excitement bubbling over.

“Yay! Really? Wait does that mean you’re coming two weekends in a row then? Cause my showcase is the weekend after that…”Jimin’s voice fades at the end of his sentence, his eyes holding a bit of concern before, Jungkook quickly reassures him.

“Yes, Jimin-ssi…we would never miss the nation’s sweetheart, brutalize his competition for the fourth year in a row…”

Jimin’s face blooms with a beaming smile, clearly satisfied with Jungkook’s response, his body shifting happily in his seat.

You smile fondly at the two of them before nodding to Taehyung, the charm emitting from the exchange wearing off as you still have no clue why Jungkook and Tae would be at another fraternity’s party 300 miles from their own.

“Wait, why are you guys gonna be at Kappa’s party? Doesn’t your frat normally do something for seniors?” You smirk as Jungkook seems to shrink away with uneasiness, Tae chuckling at his side.

“Well, our Jungkookie here thought it would be a good idea to shit-talk the president of Kappa Sigma while they were playing games on live and, made a bet with him that he could…” Tae trails off as he shoots a taunting glance towards Jungkook, mischief in his eyes, “What were your exact words Kookie?”  

“…crush his high score, wasted, with one hand tied behind my back…” Jungkook mumbles in response, a cheesy smile on his face as he avoids eye contact with the screen. You burst out in a fit of giggles, Jimin joining you soon after.

“Oh my god Kookie’s such a light weight he’ll be wasted after one drink!” Jimin wheezes through his giggling, the corner of his eyes wrinkled in absolute delight. “You know who Kappa’s president is right? Were you drunk when you made the bet?”  

The president of Kappa Sigma is none other than Kim Seokjin; resident ladies man, beer pong champion and, e-sports legend. Seokjin, or Jin, as you called him, was a good friend of yours and, aside from his incredibly large ego, is a pretty great person. The two of you had met your freshman year during your human sexuality class and, spent most of the time trying not to laugh every time your professor said phrases like “low hanging balls” or, “orgasmic euphoria” or, your favorite, “cursed clitoris.” The two of you never had much time to hang out but, Jin never failed to let you know that he was there if you needed anything. Back in your first years of university, partying was something you did more frequently, you used to frequent the Kappa Sigma house a lot and, Jin taught you most of what you know about drinking games, hangover cures, and cooking.  He used to FaceTime you when he was preparing food for Kappa Sigma’s party and, showed you probably 50 different ways to make ramen and, at least 14 or so, different chip dips. In essence, Jin was the fucking best and, you missed him a lot.

“Hyung, he talks so much shit! I want show him who the champion is so we can squash this beef once and for all and, I can play Mario Kart in peace!” Jungkook gripes, passion in his elevated voice as Jimin’s eyes widen before, falling back into his previous giggle fit. Your eyes widen with him as Jungkook mentions that he would be battling Jin in a game of Mario Kart aka the game Jin was an expert in.

“What? Why are you guys laughing at me, have a little faith, I’m Jeon Jungkook! I always win.” He insists, puffing his chest out and slapping it lightly.

“Kook, Jin has won the national,” You emphasize the word, trying to let your giggling subside so as to reason with your overly confident best friend “competition for Mario Kart for the last 6 years and, you bet him that, not only could you beat him, but, you could beat him wasted, with one hand tied behind your back, at his best game. We love you but, are you insane?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, waving you off as Taehyung and Jimin continue to snicker occasionally at him.

“The only reason Seokjin has won for the last 6 years is because, I’ve never entered his stupid little competitions.”

At this, Taehyung scoffs, “The one’s you watch every year?” He accuses, with his brows raised and Jungkook shoves him playfully, the two of them snickering.  

The conversation ends with a mutual agreement that the four of you would see each other next Friday and, that would all be wearing “Team Jungkook” shirts to the party. You made a mental note to text Jin and explain that, you still love him even though, for one night only, you would be actively rooting against him

You lean over to the other end of the couch in an attempt to coax a curious Marzipan into your lap. She reluctantly follows the movement of your hand and plops down onto your lap as a satisfied smile makes its way onto your face. You can feel the heaviness in your lids take over and, you decide that it was time to start your #nighttimeroutine that consisted of you, turning on Netflix, falling asleep on your couch with your mouth open and, waking up at 3am to drag yourself into your bedroom. Subscribe!  

Anyways...

The TV lights up with the trusty red logo, you know all too well and, you begin searching through your “Continue Watching” section because, let’s be honest, you’re not going to be watching anything new tonight. As you make it to the section, you feel a little flutter in your stomach as you spot the dragon documentary you and Yoongi had started (but definitely not finished) earlier in the day. The thought to text him plays on your mind for a moment before, you squash it, remembering that he was working on his project tonight and, deciding that you didn’t want to disturb him.  

You did however, find yourself replaying the events from the last 24 hours in your head, again. Thoughts of Yoongi had been looping in your head the entire day despite your best efforts. Yoongi wasn’t exactly an open book so, it’s not like you knew all of his deepest secrets but, you had to admit that his behavior during sex was surprising. Hell, your behavior was surprising, there wasn’t a single sexual experience that you’ve had that could replicate the energy you felt when you were with Yoongi. You had never really thought of yourself as a dominate person in the bedroom but, there was something about Yoongi that made you want to fuck him so good that he couldn’t remember his name. A smirk plays on your lips as you log that idea away for another time. There was a small amount of anxiety around being with Yoongi as you had never really been in a real relationship before. You hooked up with a few people and, saw a guy briefly during your sopohmore year but, no one had ever made you feel the way Yoongi did. Quite frankly, he had you feeling all kinds of soft and mushy.

Gross.

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Sunday had passed with minimal excitement. You spent the day cleaning up your apartment and, tackling the mountain of laundry that had formed in the corner of your bedroom. There was an attempt to work on your final paper but, you only managed to get out a page or so before, getting distracted by more important things i.e., using a laser pointer to play with Marzipan because, lord knows, she needs the exercise.

Monday moved agonizingly slow but, you made it to all of your classes without being overtaken by senioritis. Although, you did attempt to talk yourself out of going to your 8am class but, thankfully (?), the logical side of you prevailed. The rest of Monday evening consisted of spicy  Ramen (Jin’s recipe of course) and, more coursework that you definitely did NOT fall asleep on.

Tuesday had mercifully arrived and, you were now currently seated in your Psych class, eagerly looking towards the door, waiting for a certain platinum headed boy to trudge through into the room. Morning lectures were the worst but, getting to spend them with a sleepy, pouty, fluffy haired Yoongi made them a little bit better. Professor James strolled through the door moments later, smiling softly at everyone, waving a hand to the lecture hall. He busied himself at the front of the room as began getting things ready for class whilst the students who were filing in started pairing up with their partners and, pulling out their research journals. As the classroom fills more and more you feel a bit of disappointment brewing in your stomach. It wouldn’t be unusual for Yoongi to miss class as, he was absent quite frequently but, you had been looking forward to seeing him.

The hope of Yoongi showing up to class slowly dissolves as the last of the students trickle in and, Professor James turns on the projector.

“Morning everyone, I hope you all had a good weekend.” He begins, his voice echoing throughout the lecture hall.

There’s a chorus of unenthusiastic murmurs responding to his greeting causing him to chuckle, his brows going up in mock offense.

“Wow, chill, the energy in this room is off the charts.” He jests, and scattered laughter is heard throughout the room as he continues. “Alright so, most of you are nearing the end of your projects and, from what I’ve seen so far, everyone seems to be doing a great job.”  

You glance down at your research journal, your fingers flipping through the pages as you nod to yourself. Time had been flying by and, until Professor James said something, you hadn’t even realized that you only had two fears left to tackle.

“I only have a couple things I want to mention before letting you guys pair up with your partners. First_” Professor James stops abruptly as the door to the hall swings open.

You bite your lip to stifle the incredibly huge smile that is threatening to overtake your face as, Yoongi walks in, dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and some ripped gray jeans. His bag is slung over his shoulder as usual but, his hands are clutching a drink carrier. You squint your eyes slightly to catch a glimpse of what he’s brought but, your question is answered as he stops momentarily at Professor James’s podium, his hands extending slightly toward him.

“Mr. Min you are a life saver, thank you so much, 50,000 extra credit points to you…” Your professor bellows, hands outstretched to take the tall paper cup currently nestled into Yoongi’s drink carrier. As Yoongi nods to him, he turns around and you catch him smirking at your professor’s comment. Wow, he has no business looking this good at 8 in the fucking morning. Looking into his carrier, you notice he’s still wielding two more drinks and, as he makes his way towards your desk, his eyes find yours. The smirk dissolves into a softer smile, his feet picking up slightly before finally making it to the desk you had saved for him. You smile back at him, looking curiously at the drink carrier before; Yoongi pulls one of the cups out and places it on your desk.

“I hope they made it right, the lady behind the counter was new…” He whispers to you and, you just about melt into a helpless pile of mush. “Also, this still doesn’t count as one of the times I’m paying so, don’t get any ideas.”

You giggle at his comment, his small gesture touching you more than you cared for him to know.

“You are the best person in the observable universe…” You whisper back to him, eyeing the drink eagerly.

“It’s just coffee, don’t be ridiculous.” He grumbles but, the playful glint in his eyes makes it obvious that he’s kidding.

“Did Professor James ask you to get him coffee? I’m so confused.” The question passes your lips as you move to take a sip of your coffee. It was perfect and, there’s another annoying flutter in your stomach as you realize that Yoongi remembered your order despite only ever hearing it one time.  

Yoongi takes a sip of his own drink, an iced Americano, his dark eyes normally puffy from the lack of sleep, lighting up slightly as the caffeine hits him. He nods, chuckling, the two of you keeping your voices down as Professor James continues speaking.  

“James is actually a good friend of my roommate so; he’s at the house all the time. He texted me this morning and, said he forgot his coffee and, asked if I could pick something up for him.” Yoongi explains, his morning voice crackling in the space between you. “Luckily for him, I was already at the coffee place.”  

“Really? How does your roommate know him?” You can feel your energy elevating more and more as the caffeine and Yoongi’s presence work wonders on your previously sleepy self.

“I think they met in their undergrad?” Yoongi’s eyes are squinted in thought before he nods to himself. “Yeah, I think that’s what Namjoon said. They go way back.”

You cock your head, confusion painting your features. Undergrad? You had assumed Yoongi’s roommates were still in their undergrad.

“Is Namjoon in grad school?” You ask to sate your curiosity, taking another sip of coffee.

Yoongi smirks, his eyes flitting over to you as he shakes his head.

“No, he’s in his third year of medical school. Namjoon got his bachelors 4 years ago.” He explains and, your confusion doesn’t wane. This must have been obvious as Yoongi just chuckles before speaking up again.

“Yeah, he’s kind of a genius. He graduated high school two years early and, started college while he was still in his junior year. He got his bachelors at 18 and, then started medical school. Him and James roomed together during their freshman and sophomore year. That’s how they know each other.”  

Your eyes are wide with amazement, shaking your head, impressed with Yoongi’s explanation.

“Damn…that’s insane. I just assumed he was in our year, did you guys not meet on campus then?”

Yoongi shakes his head, “Namjoon and I have been friends since we were kids. We went to school together when we were little until he moved away but, we always kept in touch. When I was looking for a place to stay after I moved out of my dorm, Joon offered his place to me. Hoseok and I moved in at the same time.”  

“…and I’m guessing Hoseok is Jay right?” You clarify, only remembering Yoongi mentioning two roommates.

Yoongi rolls his eyes, chuckling as he nods, his hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck.

“Yeah, that’s what he goes by on campus but, in my house he’s Hoseok or, Hobi. That’s what I usually call him, Jay just feels weird.” He explains as he scribbles down something on his notebook. Professor James had left a few reminders up on the projector after he finished wrapping up his introduction. You followed suit, a fond smile still on your lips as you listen to Yoongi talk about his friends.

“They seem like good people, it’s good that you ended up living with your best friends instead of ending up with a college roommate horror story.” You point out

“Yeah, yeah they’re alright.” Yoongi waves you off but, the fond smirk doesn’t really leave his face. “I’m sure you’ll meet them someday, you guys would get along well.”

Yoongi’s comment sends another flutter to your stomach but, you attempt to keep the conversation going without melting for the millionth time.

“I’d love to meet them.” You murmur, smiling softly. “My friends know Jay pretty well actually.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Yoongi chuckles airily, his dark eyes regarding yours. Yoongi is definitely one for subtly and, although he doesn’t do anything obvious, you can tell he is much more comfortable around you than he ever has been. “How do your friends know him?”

“He was in a few dance classes with my best friend Jimin and, he was in my other two best friend’s fraternity before he transferred to our campus.” You explain and Yoongi nods in understanding, taking another big gulp of his Americano.

“Hobi knows everyone, no matter where we go; he’s always running into someone. It gets kind of annoying actually because, then he spends way too much time talking their ear off before we can move on with our day.” Yoongi laments, his expression shifting to one of mild annoyance.  

“What, you don’t love standing by awkwardly and doing that polite little wave when you’re friend finally introduces you? That is peak social interaction.” You lean back in shock, earning another eye roll from Yoongi as he chuckles, shaking his head.  

“Fuck no.” He states bluntly, the two of you laughing together as class begins to wrap up.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two of you had decided to combine your fears once again and, agreed to meet at your apartment later on that night. After the remainder of your classes you headed back to your place to get everything ready for the night ahead. You and Yoongi had decided you would watch a horror movie that contained spiders in it thus, tackling his fear of scary movies and, your fear of spiders. 

Joy.

Yes, you were spending time with Yoongi and, that was a well and good but, you were not (!!!) excited to spend two hours watching a movie about the creepy crawly creatures that had plagued you since childhood. You shuddered at the thought of it before attempting to busy yourself with preparing the living room for your morbid movie night. Yoongi had, of course, insisted on bringing the food and, as promise, you had allowed it with no resistance. You were thankful that you had spent Sunday cleaning your apartment because, normally, you would be cleaning Marzipan’s litter box and, frantically shoving a pizza box into the garbage chute before Yoongi arrived. However, today you decided to put in a little extra effort since you had the time.

After about an hour of work, you had transformed your living room into a sleepover scene that Pintrest users everywhere, would envy. Your couch was pulled out into a bed that you had lined with your fluffiest pillows and covered in the large fluffy white duvet that normally resided on your bed. You had your end tables positioned on other side of the bed, for optimal snacking, both of which held your homemade caramel corn and, snack sized bags of chips. Your fairy lights framed the walls surrounding your living room ,illuminating the space with a soft glow.

If you were going to spend two hours staring into the (eight) eyes of evil, goddamnit, you were going to do it in style.  

The final step was for you to change into something more comfortable so, you opted for one of your biggest black hoodies and, your favorite pair of PJ shorts. You pulled your hair out of your face and, decided that reapplying a little bit of concealer was a good idea but, decided not to fuss with too much considering that any makeup you apply may fall victim to your tears. Because, you know, spiders. Whilst strolling out of your bathroom, your phone vibrates with a text from Yoongi.

Yoongi: I’m here; can you open the door when I come up? Hands are full.

You feel your mouth water at the thought of food before quickly sending your reply and, heading towards your front door.

You: yeah, no worries

A minute or so later, a knock emits from your door and, after fluffing the pillows a final time, you walk (run) to the door to let Yoongi in. As you open the door, you see him standing there, dressed in a pair of gray jogging bottoms and a black hoodie that’s easily four times his size. His hands are clutched tightly around two pizza boxes and, you move quickly to open the door wider so we can enter.

“You read my mind; I’ve been craving pizza all week.” You groan, hungrily eyeing the boxes he was carrying.

Yoongi’s brows rise, placing the boxes on your countertop, “It’s only Tuesday.” He points out, chuckling at you, his eyes holding a bit of fondness.

“Well, it’s a good thing you took care of my craving today, who knows what could have happened.”  

Yoongi snorts, his eyes rolling as he braces his hands against the counter, he opens his mouth to respond but, stops himself as he catches a glimpse of the living room. You notice his eyes soften for a moment, his lips pursed as nods toward your finished project.

“Did you do all this for tonight?” He inquires, his voice less snarky than before, dark eyes scanning the room.

Your teeth nibble on your bottom lip as you follow his eyes to the living room. For some reason, his soft gaze is making you nervous but, you play it cool as you nod.

“I’m hoping the snacks and mood lighting will distract us from the awful, awful things we are about to witness.”

A soft smile graces Yoongi’s pout lips momentarily as he snickers, nodding along to your response.

“It looks great.” He concludes, the softness never really leaving his features.

The two of you decide its best not to start the movie while you’re still eating and, you’re grateful for this because, you really don’t want to watch a movie about one of your least favorite things whilst eating one of your favorite things. Roughly 7 slices of cheesy pizza are demolished before; you grab the remote, your thumb hovering over the play button.

“Are you ready?”  

Yoongi had himself propped up against the mountain of pillows, wearing an uneasy expression. He finishes wiping his hands on his napkin before nodding to the spot beside him, brows raised expectantly.

“Well you’re over there…when you should be over here so… no.” Yoongi’s crisp voice is dripping with sarcasm, his eyes playful during his comment but, you can tell he’s nervous.

A giggle bubbles over your lips and, you shake your head, eyeing the spot beside him before situating yourself against his side. His arm wraps around you, his hand loosely draped over your shoulder as he pulls you closer to him. A smile touches your mouth momentarily as you lay your arm over his stomach and, although you don’t see it, Yoongi smiles softly down at you.

“Are you ready now?” You inquire playfully, looking up at him.

He pretends to think for a moment, eyes squinted in thought before nodding thoughtfully.

“I think so.”  

You laugh at his antics before, your thumb presses the play button on your remote. The opening credits for the movie start playing and, you feel yourself growing slightly uncomfortable at what was to come. The movie was called Under My Skin and, it was about a town afflicted with a horrible disease that caused spiders (!!!!!!!) to grow underneath a person's skin. Like, seriously, who the fuck comes up with these things??? You tried to focus on how unrealistic the premise of the movie was but, all your brain kept going back to how horrifying that reality would be.

“I think we’ll be okay; this movie seems too stupid to be scary.” Yoongi assures the both of you, confidence in his voice.

“I agree, it doesn’t make any sense. How does a disease just make spiders grow under your skin? It’s so dumb.” You agree, eyes trained on the screen as the main character is introduced.  

The two of you zone out, focusing on the movie as it starts progressing more and more. As usual, the silence that settles in is natural and pleasant. You tuck your fingers underneath Yoongi’s hoodie, your nails lightly brushing the bare skin over his hip. Yoongi feels himself warming up at your touch and, it frustrates him slightly that he’s so affected over such a small gesture.  

“Oh god why is it so big???” You groan, your legs subconsciously curling up to make yourself smaller.  

Yoongi snickers beside you, his hand patting your shoulder, lazily attempting to comfort you.

“Cause the guy forgot to take his medicine and, remember, the scientist said they would grow bigger if they didn’t take it.” He explains matter of factly as a giant hairy spider pops onto the screen.

Both of you jump at that, Yoongi’s grip tightening on you slightly, a grimace on his face.

“fucking jump scares.” Yoongi grumbles to himself and, you bite your lip to keep from giggling, choosing instead to press a kiss to his side. “This movie is horrible.”

You nod as you look up at a slightly scared, disgruntled Yoongi: Brows furrowed, lips pouted, his voice a slight whine as he stares at the screen. You’re about to agree with him right as a giant spider bursts out of the main characters skin, followed by hundreds of other spiders running all over his body. Your eyes widen as you cringe harder than you’ve ever cringed in your entire life.

“EW! Oh my god, what the fuck, what the fuck???? I hate it....I hate it....” You exclaim, voice elevated slightly as you practically pounce onto Yoongi causing him to erupt in his rickety laughter, his hands coming up to steady you. “Yoongiiiiiiii” you whine, brows furrowed in disgust, your skin crawling.

Yoongi’s laughter doesn’t cease and, if you weren’t so grossed out, you would take time to appreciate it. Groaning, you stuff your face into his chest, taking solace in his scent.  

“We could have just watched a video on tarantulas...” Yoongi points out, eyes damp with tears, no doubt from his fit of laughter. “Why did you pick out such a disgusting movie?”  

“Cause I was trying to challenge myself...” You grumble, voice muffled by the material of Yoongi’s sweatshirt.  

He chuckles, his hand coming up to rub the back of yours gently, his fingertips lightly brushing your scalp.  

“I think you went a little overboard...” He’s smirking now, looking down at you fondly as you pull your face from his chest.  

“Hindsight is 20/20.”

Pieces of hair have fallen in your face, from your previous outburst and blowing air from your lips doesn’t help you but, it does cause Yoongi to laugh again (a beautiful sound).   He lifts a hand, gently brushing the hair from your face, a faint smirk still on his lips as he shakes his head at you.

“Do you want to turn the movie off?” He suggests, brows raised, his teeth chewing on the inside of his lip as he nods to the TV.

At his suggestion you perk up, quickly moving off of him as you turn around to grab the remote. You press stop right as another spider tries to make its way onto the screen. The main menu of Netflix pops up and you grimace as you see that “Under My Skin” is now suggested on your ‘continue watching.’  

“They can’t hurt us anymore...” You vow, drama coating your voice as you nod solemnly towards the TV.

Yoongi rolls eyes, his expression incredulous as he snorts, “You’re ridiculous.”  

Your head whips around in his direction, eyes widened in mock offense. “I’m not ridiculous, I just saved our lives. You’re welcome.”

Yoongi bites his lip, stifling his laughter as he nods thoughtfully, his hands raised.

“Thank you, your bravery will not go unnoticed.”

Your eyes slit momentarily before pouncing on him, your legs making their way around his waist. Yoongi eyes widen, his hands coming up to catch your hips, his face blown out with shock.

“Why are you always such a punk huh?” You tease, hands worming their way in the crook of his neck, tickling at the skin there.  

Yoongi squirms, laughter bubbling over his lips as his face scrunches up at the sensation.

“Yah! Why are you always so theatrical?” He cries out through his laughter as one of his hands makes its way to pinch at your side.  

A squeal leaves your lips, eyes widening as you loose your balance, falling backwards onto Yoongi’s legs.

“You know what??? I’m not theatrical, I’m just expressive unlike some people I know!” You retort, eyes pointed in his direction.

Yoongi scoffs, acting quickly as he moves on top of you, nimble fingers pressing into your sides, causing rather unattractive giggles to leave your lips as you try to wiggle out of his grip.  

“What was that Y/N? I can’t hear you.” Yoongi tilts his head in a mock attempt to listen to you, all while his hands tickle over every surface of your body he can reach.

“You’re an ass oh my god!” You giggle, hands desperately trying to tickle him back but, he manages to pin your arms above your head in the process, leaving you helpless.

“Oh I’m an ass am I? Well that’s just rude.” He admonishes, eyes a light with amusement as he moves to tickle over your ribs.

Your feet frantically kick behind you, stomach clenched as you giggle harder, thrashing beneath him before, an idea pops into your head. Yoongi’s lips move closer to yours, and you take advantage of the moment, pushing your lips against his. At your gesture, Yoongi’s hand stalls, the hand that’s holding your wrist softening as he leans into your mouth.  

You tuck your lips between his, nibbling on his bottom lip as he sighs out through his nose. A twinge of satisfaction stirs in your stomach; you were amazed at how fast you could get him to react. He kisses you back with gentle but firm lips, his hands braced on either side of your head as the kiss deepens.  

“You’re cheating...” He mumbles against your mouth, words slightly muffled by your lips.  

“I wanted to kiss you.” You smirk, your voice reduced to a shallow whisper as you lean up into his mouth. Yoongi’s lips were made for kissing, everything about them made you want to suck and bite and kiss into them until they were wet and swollen from your movements.

Yoongi pulls back momentarily, breathing slightly ragged as he looks down at you. His hair fell into his eyes that were dark and deep with want, his cheeks flushed as he returns your smirk. Your own eyes travel over his body before zeroing in on the seam of his joggers that were inflated with his hardening dick.  

“It’s not polite to stare...” Yoongi whispers, tongue licking over his lips as he regards you with mischievous eyes.

Your brows raise at his comment, head cocked slightly as you return his stare before pushing yourself up on your elbows.

“You’re being awfully bold today Yoongi...I think you’re forgetting your place.” You whisper and, your smirk grows as you see him visibly inhale at your comment, his dick twitching in his pants.

However, he doesn’t back down and, instead tries his luck once more, “Oh my place huh? What place is that?” The questions leave his lips with a scoff and, his attitude ignites something inside of you. You push off your elbows, hands coming up to press against his chest, pushing him back against the bed. The motion makes him gasp slightly, his brown eyes wide as they stare up at you, some of his attitude wiped from his expression.  

You giggle lightly, head tilting to the side, lips moving slowly to hover over his as you respond to his question,

“Beneath me...” You whisper and, at your response, Yoongi’s dick seems to swell from underneath you, the breath he held escaping shakily through his lips.  

“You want to do all the work again huh? Please, be my guest...” He smirks, eyes scanning over your body he does, his attitude quickly returning as you kiss his lips again. Your lips start moving along his jawline, paying careful attention to sensitive spots. Yoongi sighs, a slight groan catching on the end of it as he tilts his head back for you.  

“You talk a lot of shit for someone who’s going to be whimpering in a few minutes.” You say simply, feeling your panties dampen as you start to kiss over his collarbones. You may have a slight fixation with them. Teeth nibble and suck over the sensitive skin as Yoongi opens his mouth to respond. His response is quickly cut off when you press your hips to his dick, words caught in his throat as he groans slightly.  

“Talking shit is my kink...” He whispers, smirking, his eyes lulled with lust, teeth biting into his bottom lip as he pushes his hips back against you.  

You giggle at his comment, lips pressed against his skin as you do. Your careful to ensure that the seam of your leggings lines up with the seam of his joggers so, that you can feel his swollen dick press against your clit. The sensation sends a shiver down your spine and, you hate that you’re already so eager to have him inside of you again. Your hands slip underneath his hoodie, pushing it up further and further, exposing Yoongi’s chest. He takes the hint, hands quickly coming up to remove the article of clothing, revealing his body to you. His nipples are hard, his smooth stomach clenched slightly in anticipation as he looks down at you. You bite your lip at the sight of him, lips returning to his collar bones, kissing and sucking over the skin there.

“Is that why you’re so hard?” You quip, Yoongi’s hands coming up to push at your own hoodie, encouraging its removal with furrowed brows. He gets his way as you briefly pull away from his neck to take off your sweater before, returning back to kissing your way down his chest.

Yoongi’s soft laughter can be felt against your lips, his hips pressing up into you again before he responds, “No.”  

“No? Then what’s making you so hard?” You pull back, sitting on him, putting your lace covered chest on full display.  

With eager eyes, Yoongi scans over your body, taking in the sight before him, sucking on his bottom lip.

“You’re so hot...” He mumbles, mostly to himself, his hands coming up to squeeze at your hips.

 “That doesn’t answer my question...” You retort, voice soft and raspy with lust as you smirk down at him.

His nimble fingers find the clasp at your back, undoing your bra in no time, pulling back to look at your breasts, licking his lips as he does. Yoongi’s gazes shifts to meet your own before returning your smirk, sitting up slightly to wrap his arms around you fully.

“Yeah...” He presses his lips to yours “it does.”

He’s leaning you back slightly, your legs wrapping firmly around his torso as he kisses at your lips, a gummy smile flashing when he pulls away. Another laugh leaves your lips as you come up to place your fingertips on either sides of his cheeks. The energy between the two of you is so pure and refreshing, you felt so comfortable and elated and turned on all at the same time and, by the way Yoongi was peering into your eyes, lips still playfully attacking your own, you could tell he felt the same way.  

Yoongi leans forward a bit more, laying you down on the opposite end of the bed, hands eagerly tucking into the band of your leggings and pulling them off in one quick motion. You squeal slightly as he does, feet landing on either side of his knees, as you stare up at him.

“Your turn...” You nudge his hip with your foot, toeing the hem of his joggers. Yoongi snorts, batting your foot away before pulling his joggers and boxers off at the same time. His dick was so hard it stood prominently away from his hips, veins pushing against the smooth skin, as the tip of him shined slightly with precum.  

“You left my panties on.” You point out, eyes swimming with desire as you pry your eyes away from Yoongi’s cock. The black lacey panties you chose to wear for the evening we’re drenched and, you wondered whether or not Yoongi could tell.  

Yoongi’s heavy eyes meet yours, the corner of his mouth pulling up in a half smile as his hands come up to rest on your knees, parting your legs.  

“I know...” He whispers, licking over his lips as he slots himself between your thighs.  

The smirk returns to your mouth as you pull him closer to you, your breasts pressed to his bare chest as you place a searing kiss against his bitten lips. He smiles into the kiss, hips aligning with your own as he does, his swollen dick agonizingly close to where you want it the most.

“Is that another one of your kinks? Fucking me with my panties on?” You mumble into his lips as he braces his hands on either side of your head.

Yoongi smile waxes again, his teeth biting into your bottom lip as he nods, his brown eyes wide and falsely innocent as they look into yours.

“Can I?” He murmurs, fingers tracing patterns on your inner thighs, only adding to the wetness in your panties.

You nod eagerly, looking down at where the two of you are connected, your fingers moving to tuck themselves into the side of your panties, pulling them over to expose your bare pussy to Yoongi’s gaze.

His eyes close momentarily as he lets out shaky breath through his nose. They open seconds later, a renewed amount of darkness in them as he looks up at you, his hand wrapping around his dick. As he strokes himself a few times and lines himself up at your entrance, his eyes never leave yours even when he pushes himself into you. The moment you feel him enter you, your pussy tightens around him, contracting and pulling him closer to you. A drunk smile graces Yoongi’s features as he lulls his head back towards you, his shallow breath catches in his throat as he starts to move in and out of you, grazing that spongey spot inside of you as he does.

“Good?” You whisper shakily, giggling at the blissful smile on his face.

Yoongi stares down at you, chuckling darkly, his words slurred slightly as he responds, “So good.”

You start to meet the motion of Yoongi’s narrow hips, your feet planted on either side of him for leverage. Yoongi leans down, kissing into your neck and across your chest as his hips start to subtly pick up the pace. You can feel your clit swell at his motions, the increased speed nudging that spot inside of you more consistently. Everything about him felt so fucking good, his hips, his lips, his dick, even his breath. If you had it your way, it would last forever but, things with him were so good that you found yourself wanting to cum way too early.  

Yoongi sucks on a particular part of your neck that makes your eyes roll back and, you tense at the pleasure, your hands coming up to grab at Yoongi’s back. He picks up the pace of his hips slightly as he feels you on his back, soft grunts leaving his pouted lips as he does.

“You always make me feel like I could...cum so fast...” Yoongi’s gravelly voice is muffled by the skin of your neck, the tone almost pained as he grinds slower momentarily before picking up the pace again. “It’s not fair.” The last bit of his sentence sounded very much like a whine and, you giggle softly, feeling very drunk yourself as you meet the motions of hips with your own.

You feel your nails press into the skin of his back, digging in roughly and, you realize you must be doing something right because, you literally feel Yoongi throb inside of you.  

“You like my nails?” You whisper in his ear, nibbling on the curve of it, sending a shiver down Yoongi’s spine as he still continues kissing over your chest and neck.

He nods, not fully attentive as his lips wrap around one of your nibbles, soft tongue coming out to rub against it. Your back arches into his mouth, eyes closing at the feeling, hips moving faster and slightly harder as you run your nails all over his back. There is a familiar tightness in your stomach that’s weaving its way into your pussy, your clit jumping in response as Yoongi hits your spot with more force.  

You moan softly, as Yoongi kisses his way up your neck, settling on your lips. His eyes are wild and blown out as he looks into yours, his lips lacking all sense of technique as he kisses at you.

“Jagi...” He whimpers into your mouth and, the sudden change in his tone makes you almost loose it right then and there. You suck on his bottom lip in response your hands rubbing on his shoulders as the two of you fuck into eachother harder and harder.  

“Are you close?” You whisper, a moan catching on the end of your question as Yoongi delivers a harder thrust, your orgasm rapidly approaching as he nods, his teeth knocking against yours slightly.

“Want your nails...” He mumbles again, lips kissing on your lips.

You flex your fingers over the skin of his back, hoping to find the motion that makes his dick throb, trying to keep focus through the hazy fog of your impending orgasm.  

“You want me to scratch you baby?” At your question, Yoongi snaps his hips against yours, the movement causing you to almost loose it.

Yoongi pulls back from your lips, flitting his eyes toward yours, his gaze intense and, swimming with pure desire as he forces out a raspy, broken response.

“If you scratch me, you’re gonna make me cum.” He warns, hips grinding upwards to focus on your g-spot and, your thankful for his warning because, you were not in a position to last any longer either.

“That’s ok, I’ll cum with you, I’ll cum too.” You assure him, hand coming up to brush the sweaty hair from his eyes, his lips turning to kiss against your palm before he nods.

“Do it...I’m so close jagi, please.” He pleads with you and you oblige, digging your nails into his back, scratching against his skin as he starts to fuck you so hard, it forces air from the back of your throat.  

“fuck...” Yoongi whimpers, his voice almost small as you feel his hips tense against yours, his first rope of cum hitting the walls of your pussy. Yoongi’s eyes find yours and the desperate, fucked out expression he sports, is enough to send you over the edge. The tension in your hips breaks as warmth and euphoria spread throughout your body. Yoongi’s hips are unrelenting as he fucks through his orgasm, a deep shaky moan leaving his lips.  

“Yoongi...” You moan softly, still scratching at his back and, at the sound of his name, Yoongi crumbles, his eyes rolling back as his orgasm continuing to shatter him as he collapses onto your chest, his lips sucking on the skin there.  

The two of you start to come down as Yoongi slows the motion of his hips, his body covered in a sheen of sweat and goosebumps. The nails on his back soften as you ride out the rest of your orgasm, your fingers brushing against the battered skin of his back gently. There’s quite a few moments of silence before he pulls out of you and, if your panties weren’t wet before, they were completely soaked now. Yoongi cuddles up into the crook of your arm, his sweaty blonde head, resting on your chest as he does. You smile softly, still breathless as your hand comes up to comb your fingers through his hair.  

“Do you want to stay the night?” You whisper finally, breaking the few moments of silence.

His eyes are shut, a blissful smile on his face as he cuddles into you further, his heart still pounding when he nods.

“Yes please.”

Skkkkrrrrt.

[gendryatrash]

To be honest, is Gendry really good enough for Arya?

A big fat YES, anon. I strongly believe so. Out of all the characters in asoiaf, I’d argue that Gendry is the perfect character for Arya Stark who isn’t her relative (Jon) lmao. In answering this, I’ll mostly refer to book!gendry since show!gendry is so different from him aside from the fact that they both love Arya. Nonetheless, despite all their differences, I still believe that Gendry himself in whatever life or medium his character is portrayed in truly deserves to be with Arya.

So here are the reasons why Gendry is ‘good enough’ for his lady:

In answering the question whether someone is good enough for a person, I think it’s important to first consider the character with whom they are being linked to. In this case, the character we’re analyzing is that of Arya and-

1. Arya Stark loves who she loves.

When it comes to building relationships, I believe that Arya is the kind of character that isn’t caught up with other people’s place in the social ladder or in social hierarchy in itself. Since I think that this is mostly the reason why people would believe they shouldn’t be together given that she’s obviously a lady and Gendry, aside from being an unrecognized bastard, is only a blacksmith (which isn’t bad in itself but is still considered lowborn). I strongly believe that Arya is not the kind of character to base her affections on people’s station in life since the text itself says that Arya befriends and protects people from all walks of life as she did with the butcher’s son Mycah to Weasel a young girl she had no responsibility of taking care of but did. In short, Arya Stark loves who she loves. It was never a question of who you are for her, she loves people for the reason of loving them. Arya’s heart and compassion for different people is seen in the books and I believe that this extends with who she might choose to end up with in the future. She already thinks highly of Gendry and actually considers him to be a friend and companion of hers that it really broke her heart when Gendry decided to stay with the Brotherhood Without Banners. Arya, in letting people into her life, would never let any social status stop her from admiring and choosing a person she already confides with and thinks highly of. 

Now onto more reasons why Gendry is awesome!

2. Gendry is literally a pure human bean 

Aside from the fact that Arya doesn’t give a damn about labels, Gendry himself as a character is one of the purest in the whole story. I mean, this dude who had zero idea about who Arya is, decided to help her protect herself from bullies that wanted to take advantage of a small and seemingly defenseless kid. He literally could’ve minded his own business because he seemed indifferent as fuck when he was first introduced through Ned’s pov but that wasn’t what happened here. Gendry was literally that supportive friend you have who coaches you where the next punch is coming from to help you protect yourself. From the get go, it’s established that Gendry and Arya are equals and it’s amazing (there’s more to this but i’ll shut up about this for now). Moreover, Gendry doesn’t want to hurt a single hair in Arya’s body whether accidental or not as seen in this passage: 

 “Want to fight?” she asked the Bull. She wanted to hit something. 

He blinked at her, startled. Strands of thick black hair, still wet from the bathhouse, fell across his deep blue eyes. 

“I’d hurt you.” 

“You would not.” 

“You don’t know how strong I am.”

“You don’t know how quick I am.” 

“You’re asking for it, Arry.” He drew Praed’s longsword. “This is cheap steel, but it’s a real sword.” Arya unsheathed Needle. “This is good steel, so it’s realer than yours.” 

The Bull shook his head. “Promise not to cry if I cut you?” 

“I’ll promise if you will.” (ACOK)

It’s adorable that despite his size and intimidating appearance, Gendry is such a softie who doesn’t want to hurt his friends even though it’s unintentional. And let’s also not forget that Gendry literally gets all flustered and dumb whenever girls are in the equation. Dude blushes just from the thought of girls and literally walks out when a girl shows interest. Like. What an adorable awkward Boy!! It’s real cute that Gendry is so innocent about sex and romantic relationships because in that way, his youth was highlighted. And paired with Arya who grew up with him in that same level of innocence, they make a hecking adorable example of literally childhood friends who could turn into so much more when they grow older.

3. Gendry is not only a skillful smith, he’s also a smart boy

Now let’s talk about how Gendry is good at his craft. It’s said in the books that he was still an apprentice to Tobho Mott when he was taken by the Night’s Watch to go to the wall. But even with this, Gendry clearly possess the skills and passion it takes to make a great smith and armorer in the future.

Almost shyly, the boy led them to his bench, and a steel helm shaped like a bull’s head, with two great curving horns. Ned turned the helm over in his hands. It was raw steel, unpolished but expertly shaped. “This is fine work. I would be pleased if you would let me buy it.” (GOT)

-

“I did my work, is all. Bellows and tongs and fetch and carry. I was s’posed to be an armorer, and one day Master Mott says I got to join the Night’s Watch, that’s all I know.” Then he’d go off to polish his helm. It was a beautiful helm, rounded and curved, with a slit visor and two great metal bull’s horns. Arya would watch him polish the metal with an oilcloth, shining it so bright you could see the flames of the cookfire reflected in the steel. Yet he never actually put it on his head. (ACOK)

-

As she passed the armory, Arya heard the ring of a hammer. A deep orange glow shone through the high windows. She climbed to the roof and peeked down. Gendry was beating out a breastplate. When he worked, nothing existed for him but metal, bellows, fire. The hammer was like part of his arm. She watched the play of muscles in his chest and listened to the steel music he made. He’s strong, she thought. (ACOK)

-

 Gendry was only spared because he’d admitted to forging the horned helm himself; smiths, even apprentice smiths, were too valuable to kill. (ACOK)

-

“Master Mott said it was time I made my first longsword. He gave me a sweet piece of steel, and I knew just how I wanted to shape the blade. Only Yoren came, and took me away for the Night’s Watch.” (ASOS)

-

 “I could shoe him for you,” said Gendry, all of a sudden. “I was only a ’prentice, but my master said my hand was made to hold a hammer. I can shoe horses, close up rents in mail, and beat the dents from plate. I bet I could make swords too.” (ASOS)

From this, we could see that it wasn’t only Arya who saw Gendry’s skill and passion for smithing. We get to see this sentiment repeated coming from different characters like Ned and Tobho Mott. 

And Yes, despite all the jokes about Gendry being a stupid bastard, he’s actually quite smart especially considering that he hasn’t really acquired formal education like one taught by maesters since he’s only a bastard boy. But looking at passages from the books, Gendry was the voice of reason in their gang and he actively joins in on conversations and adds his own input and suggestions.

Look with your eyes, Arya wanted to shout at the men below. “Can’t they see we’re no lords or knights?” she whispered. “I don’t think they care, Arry,” Gendry whispered back. And she looked at Ser Amory’s face, the way Syrio had taught her to look, and she saw that he was right. (ACOK)

-

“They would have burned the lake if they could have,” Gendry had said,

and Arya knew he was right. (ACOK)

-

It was Gendry who thought of the lord’s towerhouse and the three that Yoren had sent to hold it. (ACOK)

-

“There’s nails,” Lommy pointed out. “And there’s trees all around. We could build us all boats.” Yoren spat. “You know anything ‘bout boat-building, dyer’s boy?” Lommy looked blank. “A raft,” suggested Gendry. “Anyone can build a raft, and long poles for pushing.” Yoren looked thoughtful. “Lake’s too deep to pole across, but if we stayed to the shallows near shore … it’d mean leaving the wagons. Might be that’s best. I’ll sleep on it.”  (ACOK)

-

Gendry wanted no part of any roads, and even Hot Pie and Lommy saw the sense in that. (ACOK)

-

 “The river bends and loops,” said Gendry. “This is just a shorter way, I bet. Some secret outlaw way. Lem and Tom and them have been living here for years.” That was true. Arya bit her lip. (ACOK)

-

“If there’s people, there’s food,” Hot Pie said, too loudly. Gendry was always telling him to be more quiet, but it never did any good. “Might be they’d give us some.” “Might be they’d kill us too,” Gendry said. (ACOK)

-

Gendry frowned. “Knights and lordlings, they take each other captive and pay ransoms, but they don’t care if the likes of you yield or not.”  (ACOK)

These are just some quotes showing us how street smart and perceptive Gendry is. And I really believe that if he was only given the chance to have proper education, he would have been knowledgeable about other subjects too since even without it, he’s already seen as someone with valid and reliable suggestions.

4. Gendry is honorable and loyal

Gendry is one of the few characters in the series who is actually honorable. Right from the start, he doesn’t see the point of changing who he is just for the sake of other people, be it noble or not. He lives and works for his own, not feeling the need to ever take advantage of someone just so he could feel better about himself. Before his and Arya’s path crossed, he worked peacefully and kept to himself, expecting others to do the same. To quote a scene i previously mentioned,

Ned turned the helm over in his hands. It was raw steel, unpolished but expertly shaped. “This is fine work. I would be pleased if you would let me buy it.” The boy snatched it out of his hands. “It’s not for sale.” Tobho Mott looked horror-struck. “Boy, this is the King’s Hand. If his lordship wants this helm, make him a gift of it. He honors you by asking.” “I made it for me,” the boy said stubbornly. “A hundred pardons, my lord,” his master said hurriedly to Ned. “The boy is crude as new steel, and like new steel would profit from some beating.” (GOT)

While Tobho Mott thought that it was rude of Gendry to act the way he did, personally I see this as Gendry being true to himself by being honest regardless of the social pressure he constantly face to bow down to nobility. 

Moreover, loyalty is another one of Gendry’s characteristics that makes him such a good partner for Arya. While his father, Robert, couldn’t keep his pants on for the life of him, Gendry couldn’t even handle being flirted by other girls. The only time we could see Gendry flirt with anyone openly and happily is with Arya.  He even fled the scene when Bella was tempting him back at the inn and this gets to show that Gendry is the exact opposite of Robert, implying that he would be a loyal partner even in the future. Additionally, he also shows his loyalty through his commitment to the masters he thought are fair starting from Tobho Mott and ultimately with the Brotherhood Without Banners.

A sword’s a sword, a helm’s a helm, and if you reach in the fire you get burned, no matter who you’re serving. Lucan’s a fair enough master. I’ll stay here.” (ACOK)

-

 “A smith can find a welcome most anywhere. A skilled armorer even more so. Why would you choose to stay with us?” Arya watched Gendry screw up his stupid face, thinking. “At the hollow hill, what you said about being King Robert’s men, and brothers, I liked that. I liked that you gave the Hound a trial. Lord Bolton just hanged folk or took off their heads, and Lord Tywin and Ser Amory were the same. I’d sooner smith for you.” (ASOS)

Later in ASOS, Gendry is shown to take account of the fairness of the brotherhood and it influences his decision a lot. Thinking that being with Arya while she’s highborn and he’s not to be too painful, he opted to serve for a cause he believes to be just. He seeks out honorable men and this mirrors how honorable he is too.

5. He respects Arya Stark. BIG TIME.

Right from ACOK, Gendry and Arya’s tandem was built on insulting each other but still listening to one another’s opinion. Now what I love the most about these two dorks is that deep down, they really do respect each other. Moreover, he does not only respect her by following what she says but he also shows it by keeping her secret safe and by protecting Arya in a way that doesn’t invalidate her skills. We could see this from the very moment they met after Arya whacked Hot Pie in the face for wanting to take Needle from her,

The Bull shouted, “Behind you,” and Arya spun. Hot Pie was on his knees, his fist closing around a big jagged rock. She let him throw it, ducking her head as it sailed past. Then she flew at him. He raised a hand and she hit it, and then his cheek, and then his knee. (ACOK)

Here’s more instances when Gendry protected Arya while acknowledging that Arya knows what she’s doing and he just wants to let her know that he’s there ready to kick some ass if ever she needs it

Broken Nose guffawed. The officer looked her up and down. “Put the blade away, little girl, no one wants to hurt you.

“I’m not a girl!” she yelled, furious. What was wrong with them? They rode all this way for her and here she was and they were just smiling at her. “I’m the one you want.” “He’s the one we want.” The officer jabbed his shortsword toward the Bull, who’d come forward to stand beside her, Praed’s cheap steel in his hand. (ACOK)

-

Arya edged backward away from the wagon. When she felt the hand on her shoulder, she whirled, bringing up her stick sword again, but it was only the Bull. “What are you doing?” He raised his hands defensively. “Yoren said none of us should go near those three.” (ACOK)

-

“Lommy could steal, if it wasn’t for his leg,” said Hot Pie. “He was a thief in the city.” “A bad thief,” Arya said, “or he wouldn’t have got caught.” Gendry squinted up at the sun. “Evenfall will be the best time to sneak in. I’ll go scout come dark.” 

“No, I’ll go,” Arya said.“You’re too noisy.” 

Gendry got that look on his face. “We’ll both go.” 

“Arry should go,” said Lommy. “He’s sneakier than you are.” 

“We’ll both go, I said.” (ACOK)

I noticed how Gendry was literally Arya’s sidekick and I see that as him helping her protect herself because Gendry believes in Arya and he doesn’t see her as a fragile object that might easily break.

And lastly, Gendry not only respects Arya Stark’s skills and opinions. He respects her feelings too. And we clearly get to see this when he apologized to Arya for wanting to stay with the Brotherhood (even tho we all know he did that partly because of his belief that he’s way too lowborn for his milady),

 As Arya was cinching her saddle girth, Gendry came up to say that he was sorry. She put a foot in the stirrup and swung up into her saddle, so she could look down on him instead of up.You could have made swords at Riverrun for my brother , she thought, but what she said was, “If you want to be some stupid outlaw knight and get hanged, why should I care? I’ll be at Riverrun, ransomed, with my brother.” (ASOS)

The quotes i’ve included here have been quoted many times already and my answer is getting too long now but all I know is that Arya deserves someone who respects her, including all the skills, opinions, and feelings that she have. And I know for sure that Gendry is the kind of man to do so because he’s shown time and time again how much he respects his lady and everything about her. Gendry is a skilled smith, an honorable and loyal person, and most of all, he respects and cares for Arya Stark. And due to these reasons, Arya admires him and I believe that’s enough reason for me to think that Gendry indeed, deserves to be with his lady.

[jiggly-rough]

Untitled

I started this story a few months ago & honestly don’t know how to finish, so I’m just going to keep writing until that happens.

  My name is Tanya. I’m a 20-year-old college student trying to make something of myself. I go to the local university because leaving my family right now, even if it is for my education, is just not an option for me. I’m majoring in business and communications is my minor. Now with finals coming up, me and my friends decided to plan a little getaway over the break. Nothing to crazy, just something to help us unwind & take our minds off of things for a minute. We wanted to do something different, get out of our comfort zone a little bit so we decided to go stay in a cabin in the woods. You don’t even have to say it, we already know. It actually turned out being super cliché & corny. But I’m sure we’ll all have a good time. It’s going to me, my boyfriend James, his cousin Toby and her girlfriend Stacey, my classmate and right-hand man Amanda and her flavor of the month Jackson. Don’t get the wrong idea about Amanda, she’s a good girl at heart, she just gets tired of these dudes after a few months. It could have something to do with the fact that they’re all hot garbage. But that’s another story. I and James have been together going on 1 year now and time has literally flown by. It’s actually Jackson’s lake house that we’ll be staying in, it’s right on Lake Tahoe. This would be all of our first time doing something like this. Well except Jackson, his family is LOADED, and this is just another week for him. But for us? We were all excited & a little terrified. Because this is the perfect set up for a horror movie. “Hey Tanya, how prepared are you for this trip?” Amanda asks. It was almost like she didn’t really want to go. “Girl, we’re leaving in a week, I have plenty of time to pack. Why are you asking? Are YOU prepared for this trip?” I ask in a ‘what about it’ type of tone. “I mean I know what I’m bringing or whatever. I just don’t know about Jackson.” “Here you go with your bullshit!” I said. I knew this was coming. They’re coming up on 6 months of dating & I’ve honestly never seen this girl so happy. Compared to the hot garbage she would usually choose, I actually liked Jackson. I know exactly what you’re thinking because I was thinking the same thing. A super rich black man named Jackson just screams pretentious, jock, dumb. But he’s surprisingly none of those things. Although he comes from money, he doesn’t act like it. And all I know is that he’s treating my best friend like the queen she is. So he’s alright in my book. “Um you do realize that he’s the reason we’re even able to go on this FREE TRIP anyway, right?” “Yea, yea I know that Tanya. It just seems like he’s too perfect, you know what I mean. It’s scaring me to be honest.” “Of course you’re scared, hell I would be if I were in your shoes too. But you now focusing on what could happen instead of what is happening is always a bad idea. And he hasn’t given you any reason to think he’s going to do anything to hurt you so just chill. To me it seems like he wants to take your relationship to the next level. I would just live at the moment Amanda.” I said. It’s no secret that the majority of guys are age are trash. So for her to have something real is scary for her. I just have to make sure she at lease gives him a chance first. “Oh I have to go, James is calling me.” I hang up with Amanda and answer for James “Good morning beautiful!” He says in a very enthusiastic tone. “Um.....good morning babe, what’s got you in such a good mood this morning?” I ask. In the 4 years that I’ve known him, he’s never ever ever been a morning person. “Well I just logged in and saw that I aced my arch final which brings my average up to a 3.5 which I never thought I could do so hell yea I’m excited. I’m talking to the most beautiful girl in the whole entire world & it’s Friday, so that means we are definitely going out to celebrate later. ”Aww babe, I knew you could do it! I’m so proud of you!!!” I practically screamed because he’s been working super hard. “I did have you on my damn neck about it so I had no choice. I just want to thank you for always being there to push me when I didn’t feel like doing it.” “You damn right I am boy! The same way you’re always on my ass about me getting my degree, I have no choice but to be on yours.” I love the way we’re basically both best friends who can fuck from time to time. “So we gotta talk about Stacey.” I could hear the smile from his face. But I had to butter him up before bringing the mood down. Listen, I try to be as open minded as possible BUT, that girl is a few crew members short of a full deck if you catch my drift. See Toby didn’t even know what to tell us. It looks like she practices Wicca but some of the things we’ve seen or overheard her doing are completely out of that realm. Almost like some occult type shit. Anyway, we welcomed her with open arms. Even if they were shaking a little bit. “Awww man, what is it Tanya? Just talking about her makes me feel like she’s putting a curse on me man.” He did sound a little concerned. Like he was looking over his shoulder as he spoke. Not gonna lie, this made me giggle a little bit. “That’s exactly why we should have the conversation. All I’m saying is 7 days in the middle of nowhere seems like her type of party, not ours. I just want to make sure everything goes as smoothly. I’ll give Toby a call & see if we can meet for lunch or something.” “Alright man, just remember last time we tried talking to Stacey about how weird she was being & that damn near sent her to the hospital” “I know, I know. But I remember Toby mentioning something about her seeing a doctor so hopefully that won’t happen again. I’m heading into class, I’ll talk to you in a bit.” I hang up & sit through an amazingly slow 2 hour lecture class about Human Resource Management. Mind blowing. Really. I texted Toby about the whole double lunch date & she sounded like she had something to tell us as well. So yea, I was just a tad excited. “Do you know what you want to eat, like REALLY know what you want. Cause you know how you get.” I sensed a bit of annoyance in Toby’s voice. She has a right. I’m the definition of indecisive. “You already know she’s going to want Chipotle!” Amanda practically screamed from the backseat. We decided to make the lunch a group thing since we were all free anyway. Amanda was riding with us and Jackson was going to meet us there. And yes, Amanda was right, I wanted Chipotle. Toby came alone, which was a little strange but I know that Stacey has a super busy schedule so I didn't think too much into it. "So you guys, I think I want to propse to Stacey." Toby said. We were all pretty taken aback by this, seeing as their relationship hasn't exactly been the greatest. "Are you are you really want to do that?" Amanda asked. "I mean yea, we know y'all have been good for a about a month or so but we all remember a time when it was something going on every other day with you two." There was nothing we could say in rebuttal to that because it was the truth. One time Toby called me at 2am because Stacey just started flipping the hell out on here because she thought she was sleeping with her study partner. It got pretty hectic. The cops were called & surprisingly enough Stacey almost filed a restraining order against Toby. They made up 2 days later though. "You know, Amanda, you're right. But like you said, we've been good. And I've somehow fallen in love with her all over again." Toby said, proudly I might add. Hey man, if my cousin is head over heels for this psycho, I guess I could put everything else aside & learn to be ok with her too. "Well, I'm happy for you Toby. Let me guess, you want to do it on the trip, don't you?" I said. I swear I saw her turn red. It was so adorable. She rummaged around her backpack for something & pulled out an old Victorian style ring box. It was beautiful. It was purple crushed velvet with a gold trim. The ring was just as stunning. It was a gold opal ring with diamonds around it. "Goodness Toby, you're setting the bar pretty high for the rest of us, huh?" said James. I just looked at him & giggled. "Well I want her to know that I'm serious. I know you guys don't like her all that much but if you just got to know her without the weird stuff, you'd like her too." I'm surprised she actually acknowledged that we didn't like her. It had been kind of a taboo subject since they've been together. “Is there a her without with the weird stuff though?” Amanda asks sarcastically. I just looked her, kind of surprised, and trying not to laugh. Toby must have found it funny too, because the laugh she chortled out broke the awkward silence. “Of course there is Manda, I think she just acts like that around people as some sort of defense mechanism.” She explained. “Ohhhh, ok. Well I’m happy for you Toby, really, I am.” Amanda said. We all got our food, ate, joked, and sighed when we realized that we all had to get back to our lives.

[modestmuses-a]

5, 6, 11, 18, 21, 23, 26, 30, 34, 35, 43, 50 - ekko

//CAS I ALREADY DON’T SHUT UP ABOUT THIS BOY AS IT IS.  WHY WOULD YOU ENCOURAGE ME AND SUBJECT MY FOLLOWERS TO THIS??  i’m gonna have to fuckin readmore this for length because Christ…

Unusual Headcanons | accepting

5. How many blankets / pillows do they like to have on their bed?

One of each.  When it’s exceptionally warm out, you can nix the blanket.  Although, “blanket” is kind of a strong word for it.  It’s really more of a threadbare rag at this point.  When it gets cold out, he does think, “Hm, I better replace this,” but then he immediately forgets about it upon waking up and getting on with his day.

6. What do they normally dream about?  Nightmares or nonsense?

Thanks to time travel fucking with his circadian rhythm, it’s very rare for Ekko to get any more than three or four hours of sleep at a time.  More on that here.

But his terrible non-existent sleeping patterns, coupled with a whole host of repressed negative emotions that he hasn’t properly worked through because he doesn’t want to burden anyone with his problems, mean his nightmares are frequent and severe.  Usually of the ridiculously gory variety.  His nightmares typically end with him dying in some over-the-top, Final-Destination-esque way.

(Speaking of, my favorite death from those movies is from the third one, where the girl stumbles backwards into a nail gun and takes several nails through the back of her skull right out the front of her face.)

If you were to watch them, like, as a horror movie, some of them might be laughable.  (If you’re into that sort of thing.)  And indeed, he does try to laugh some of them off, although whether it’s genuine laughter or him trying to put on a brave face and again refusing to acknowledge that he’s got Issues is up for debate.

11. Bar soap or liquid?  Do they like loofahs?

Bar soap.  No loofahs.

18. Do they prefer cats or dogs?  Or neither?

Ekko doesn’t really have a preference!  He’ll drop scraps down to stray animals when he has the scraps to spare, and he’s made a number of furry friends of both species this way.  Sometimes, you’ll just see random animals tailing him as he walks through the city, ‘cause they’re hoping to get more food out of him.  He feels guilty when he doesn’t have anything to give them.

21. Did they have any fears growing up that they’ve since conquered?

Ekko used to be afraid of trees when he was younger and would always hold his breath when he walked by the cultivair.  This is because he heard a story about a man who accidentally inhaled a tree seed and ended up growing a tree in his lung.  He now knows that it’s ridiculous to be afraid of trees for that reason since the odds of it happening to him are infinitesimally small, but he’ll still tell people the story of Ol’ Tree Lung whenever they pass the cultivair, regardless of how many times his present company has heard it before.  Most of his friends are sick to death of Ol’ Tree Lung by now.

23. How do they show fear?  Sweating, shaking, blankness, anger, etc?

Ekko shakes something fierce when he gets scared.  He also starts stammering and messing up sentences on account of his brain working much faster than his mouth.  He’ll start a sentence and not finish it.  Tries to restart the sentence slightly different this time and doesn’t finish that one either.  Starts a sentence, cuts it off, starts a different sentence about a completely different thought, loses track of that one, too.

desperately tries not to cry

26. What are they most passionate about?  What could they debate about for hours?

Ekko is passionate about… eating the rich.  When are we bringing back the guillotine again?? kfhdgkdf

No, but seriously, Ekko is pretty adamant about “Capitalism sucks” and believes that the best use of wealth is providing for those less fortunate than you.  He doesn’t have a lot, but he’s always using what he does have to help the Lost Children and his parents first and himself second.  He sees people living these lives of luxury, and it makes him sick ‘cause he’s just like… *gestures @ starving orphans* “Y’all wanna like… maybe do something about this sometime?”

He believes that no one should have that much money for any reason because they should be putting it towards making society a better place instead of just… sitting on it.  There is a reason I associate Billy Talent with him (and why “Man Alive!” is his main verse tag) and it’s because they have a lot of songs that just absolutely shit all over capitalism.  I made a playlist for Ekko, and the first four songs on it are Billy Talent criticizing capitalism for the flawed, soul-sucking system that it is.  (Three of the four are from the Dead Silence album.)

Anyway, Billy Talent tangent aside since I can’t control myself…

On April Fool’s, there were a couple IC posts of rich characters saying, “Rich people don’t have rights!” but then claiming to be exceptions to the rule.  Like, one of them said, “I have rights ‘cause I didn’t choose to be rich.  I was just born into a rich family.”

And let me tell you, I had to physically restrain Ekko ‘cause he was p i s s e d.  He was in time-out that day, haha!  “Oh, I’m so sorry, it must be so hard for you to have been born into a life of privilege,” he fumes to himself in the little corner I’ve trapped him in.  “NONE OF YOU ARE EXCEPTIONS TO THE RULE!  NONE OF YOU HAVE RIGHTS!  AND WHEN THE REVOLUTION COMES, YOU’RE GOING TO THE GUILLOTINE WITH THE REST OF ‘EM!”

Me, desperately trying to calm him down like, “No, no, shh, look at the date!  It’s probably just a joke!”

He’s like, “IT FUCKING BETTER BE.”

Tl;dr: Nothing gets Ekko riled quite like rich people being shitty and annoying.

I was also going to mention that Ekko’s passionate about maintaining hope and will argue the importance of not giving up and not letting bad situations turn you into a bad person, but this answer is already hella long, so here’s a brief passing mention of it lmao

30. Is there something about their personality they want to change?

Ekko is… angry deep down.  Or maybe not even so deep down.  Maybe right there, just under his skin.  And he wishes he wasn’t.

He often questions his own goodness, wondering if he’s not just Fake Nice to conceal the wretched thing he actually is.  If you skim the top layer of sweetness off of him, you’re left with this horrid, bitter, hateful little beast.  Or that’s what he thinks sometimes, anyway.

Whether it’s justified or it isn’t, anger is such an ugly emotion, and he’s worried it’s going to cause him to hurt someone he cares about someday.

I often worry about my portrayal of Ekko and how damn inconsistent it is sometimes ‘cause in one thread, he’s this sweet helpful angel who wants to do his best, and in another thread, he’s more bitter than the blackest coffee, but like.  This be why.  He’s a good person.  Just deep down, he’s angry about A Lot, but even deeper down, he’s an even better person.  He feels like his anger is the thing standing between him and being the best person he can be, and he wishes he could get rid of it, but alas, it seems to be stuck to him.

I mean, maybe it wouldn’t be if he ever bothered to resolve any of his Issues, but y’know.  Helping others comes first, so :’)  He’ll worry about helping himself when he’s dead.

34. Are they the jealous type?  What are they most likely to be jealous of?

Hmm, I wouldn’t say Ekko is much of the jealous type, no.  Like, his anger towards rich folks isn’t because he’s jealous of their lifestyle or wants what they have.  It’s because he wants them to be decent fucking people for once.  It doesn’t make sense to a lot of people, but he’s content stomping around in the gutters.  He does wish things were easier on his parents, but he can’t complain about the life of freedom he’s been allowed to lead up to this point.

He doesn’t really get jealous of other people’s relationships either.  Like, I mentioned in a reply to Draven that in the Academy verse, Ekko has a crush on Ahri.  (But only in the Academy verse.)  But like, he doesn’t really get jealous when she dates other guys.  In fact, he expects it.  He hasn’t said anything about his crush on Ahri (although it’s probably a bit obvious), and he’s never going to because he doesn’t expect anything to come of it.  He lowkey doesn’t want anything to come of it because he feels like it’ll just make the dynamics in their friend group weird.  So, really, he’s got no problem with her dating whoever she wants.

35. Are they possessive over their things?  Or over other people?  Both?

The only thing Ekko is especially possessive of is the Zero Drive, for obvious reasons.  It’d be just… the worst to have that fall into the wrong hands.  Time travel is a huge responsibility, Ekko says as he abuses the shit out of it to skip class and get infinite Halloween candy.  Can you imagine what would happen if any of the shadier characters in LoL had the ability to time travel??

He isn’t particularly possessive over the rest of his things, though, and he’ll frequently give stuff up to people he feels could use it more.

As for people… I wouldn’t call him possessive, so much as protective.  He might seem a bit possessive of his friends at times, but it’s only because he’s trying to keep them out of trouble.  Whenever he tells people, “I don’t want you hanging out with so-and-so,” it’s not because he’s being possessive, it’s because so-and-so has Bad Vibes written all over them.

In the modern/K/DA verse, he’s friends with Akali before she gets famous.  She ran away from the dojo and lived on the streets for a while, and it was there that she met Ekko, and honestly, he probably did a lot more than he realizes to keep her out of trouble.  Who knows what kind of bullshit her dumb ass would have gotten into if she hadn’t been trying to set as good of an example for Ekko as she could?

Anyway, modern verse Ekko despises modern verse Shen.  Akali gets back in touch with Shen, and Ekko is extremely vocal about how terrible he finds this whole idea.

And it’s not that he’s possessive of Akali.  In fact, it’s quite the opposite.  When she needed to leave him to join K/DA, he let her go ‘cause he understood that was her big dream and it wouldn’t have been fair to keep her there.  She was destined for better things, and he wanted to see her get off the streets.

But it’s just that… he’s heard stories about the way she was treated at the dojo, so when she tells him she got back in touch with Shen, he gets pissed and tells her that she can’t expect him to support her ripping open old wounds.  He’s just scared that Shen’s going to hurt her again, so when she tries to introduce the two of them to each other, Ekko’s cold towards Shen at best and openly hostile towards him at worst.  He might be inclined to strangle the guy if Akali didn’t have herself situated between them in a somewhat fruitless effort to ease the tension.

43. Do they like living alone or with another person / other people?

Ahaha, Ekko is a huge people-person, actually!  I think he’d just die if he had to live alone.  A big reason he spends so much time away from home and out on the streets is because his parents are never home, and the house feels too empty without them.  He’ll roll back home in the evening, when his parents are getting off work, to enjoy their company for a bit before they both pass out, but unless somebody else is there, he doesn’t want to be either.

If he had to live alone, there wouldn’t be any point in him having a house or anything ‘cause he’d literally never stay there.  He’d always be out chasing adventure and other people’s company.

50. Where do they see themselves in 2 / 5 / 10 years?

God, this is hard because the thing is that Ekko is terrible at making plans for the future, especially long-term plans.  Thinking about the future causes him major stress, especially when he thinks of possibilities that might involve him relinquishing some of his freedom, which is a lot.  Like, he has no desire to go to school or join the workforce - at least not in any sort of traditional way - or any of that, and the fact that he’s not going to be 16 forever is just something that he prefers not to think about!

Anyway, let’s take a crack at it, nonetheless…

In two years, Ekko hopes to have worked up the courage to tell his parents he doesn’t want to go to the academy in Piltover.  Listen… he’s working on it.  But like, he thinks at least part of the reason they work so hard is because they’re trying to put money back to send him to school, and… he’s really torn about it.  He’d feel guilty if they kept working to send him to school without knowing he doesn’t want to go, but he’d also feel guilty if he told them he doesn’t want to go and crushed all their hopes and dreams.  So, really, it is a lose-lose.

But hey, two years is plenty of time to work up the courage, right?

In five years, Ekko’s unsure of whether he’ll still be living with his parents or not.  He knows that he wants to get them into a nicer house, and as such, he’ll likely have to find some way to make money other than thievery.  So, he might consider commercializing an invention or two.

He knows his parents are fond of Piltover for whatever reason, and he would reluctantly let them go there, if they wanted.  That’s why he isn’t sure if he’ll still be living with them or not because if they do choose to go to Piltover, he’s absolutely staying behind in Zaun.  He wants them to be happy, but he’s not going to abandon Zaun like that.  Plus, he can still come visit sometimes, so it’s like… whatever.

He would also like to make a little more progress on the Z-Drive by this point, maybe getting it to the point where he can go back days instead of only minutes.  Just in case.  You never know when that thing you did three days ago is gonna come back around to bite you in the ass.

In ten years, he’ll be 26 and probably (sadly) a bit old to be running around doing dumb teenager things.  Still, he can’t see himself abandoning the Lost Children.  They’ll still need someone, you know?  A large part of his mission with the Lost Children has become keeping them out of trouble, more or less.  The bad kind of trouble, anyway.  Keeping them away from chem-punks and out of the factories and away from drugs and potentially dangerous augmentations, so on and so forth.

He’d like to keep doing that, keep helping kids stay out of bad situations.  Maybe start some sort of home for them, where they can come get a bed and a warm meal.  Or something like a school, but where they’re allowed to study what they want and hone the skills they think will be most useful to them, instead of some arbitrary curriculum they’re not even interested in.  Maybe a bit ambitious for only ten years, but… he hopes to at least be on his way to that sort of thing by then.

He wants to see Zaun be a better place, and children are the future, and he doesn’t want to see any of them fall through the cracks.  If there’s any hope for Zaun to get better - and he believes there is - it starts with its children being happy and safe.

So, his plans are currently:

Tell his parents he doesn’t want to go to the academy.

Get his parents somewhere nicer ‘cause they deserve it.

Improve time travel maybe.

Find a way to get as many children out of harm’s way as humanly possible.

And that’s basically it.

[plumcoloredblazer]

If you've followed my dumb blog for a while you'll know I'm mesmerized by the manga Berserk. I seed in posts about it at least once a month it seems. Part of the reason I'm nigh-obsessed with this funny, little compilation of horror is because it's an unresolved story that's existed my entire lifetime. I only found it after most of the dreaded "ship sequence" was over with, but you can bet your bottom dollar I'm a fan (For those of you not in "the know", the creator of Berserk is renowned for his hiatuses, and he had an especially lengthy one when his characters were lounging on a boat in the middle of the ocean). People in the fandom joke, rather morbidly, that they hope Kentaro Miura will live long enough to see his creation through to its end, and, I'd add, I hope I live long enough to witness it too. There aren't many pieces of storytelling that have sunk their hooks into me quite as well as Berserk.

Now, Berserk may not be your kettle of fish. I get that. Who can guarantee all who take a look at a big kettle of fish will find it appealing? But I urge you to try. The first arc is kind of a slog because Miura wasn't set up as a mangaka yet (I mean those first panels are pretty out of character for Guts). Also, Miura was in his early twenties. He was imitating his influences, but you can tell he had an idea of what he actually wanted his manga to be. Berserk is a tale about trauma, struggling, vulnerability, and - maybe - how dreams can destroy their dreamers.

Spoilers ahead. I mean it, looky-loos. Studies have said being spoiled doesn't ruin your enjoyment of a work, but there's something to be said about that thrill of discovery. Or, in this case, that Gut-punch of discovery.

Casca's great. Most everyone agrees Casca is great. I think Casca's great. Casca is many peoples' favorite character. But, Berserk is a manga chock-full of suffering so Casca has also been a walking potato for more than 20 real life years - as old as Miura was when he first started. Now... Casca is back... we think. We were left at a cliffhanger. Then we had to watch Griffith's progress back in the world. Uck.

Casca sees Guts, nearly in her right mind (not remembering anything after the start of Griffith's rescue), and then she breaks down screaming. Understandable, given the history she's probably just recalled. Here's where the quasi-point of my post comes into play. If you've read this far in, you're acquainted with the nitty-gritty that's been inked into paper so far. I'll move along.

What's going to happen next?

Things have been going too well. Relatively speaking. Casca was in a flower dress for heaven's sake. I'm worried she'll activate the behelit in Guts' purse at the base of this damn fairy tree (trees are important). Beloved characters will be sacrificed. Hopefully not though.

Miura's been setting up the dissenters to Griffith's rule. They're scattered around the place: the witch's, the nobles at the ball, and the Kushans to name three. The gang is on an island that warps time. I see our folks gathering an army to contend with our fair-headed menace. Rickert will grow up to be a major stud. We've passed the set up of the story and we're pulling together all the disparate parts now, I think. The climax is coming (it may take years, don't get me wrong).

What I see happening (if I were writing this epic which I'm not): Casca - our Casca - closes herself off to Guts. She's gone through too much. Remembered it all and can't stand it. She wants to make Griffith hurt. She's horrified by what Guts sees when he sees her. She'll lead the war effort. Guts has chosen to put aside his rage (a bit) to strive for Casca. Now that his peace still takes Casca away from him he'll feed the beast inside. I love the idea of Casca and Guts being together, but I don't know. Farnese, after learning to pull Guts out of his berserker state from Schierke, may be what he needs. I don't see Miura building up that romantic tension for nothing. Guts helped her escape her monstrousness, (burning people is sort of a bad hobby) and I think she will do the same in return. What Casca needs may not be what he needs (to echo a few prominent words). She may decide she needs to be independent and powerful. A leader and not a sword. But, who knows. And, Guts may need a shield and not a sword. Miura leaves a lot of symbolism and pathways open. It's pretty masterful.

The most recent hiatus ends this month. Who's to say how hard I'll be kicked in the balls. Miura... Miura, please don't let it be focused on Griffith again. I'm aware his plot is important too, but... he just sucks (And for those out there that ship Guts and Griffith, I'm okay with gay dudes who don't realize they're gay and fuck things up and then end up together. I don't get behind irredeemable rapists unless I aim to stab them. You're terrible if you think mangling Casca is a cute courtship practice. You're dumb. I only say this because I've looked at the world wide web and there are apparently dumb-slugs like this. Griffith is a good villain. He's not your bf, you dumb bastard. He sends his friends to unending hell for all eternity).

Keeping in mind Tumblr's jammed up search feature and the no-nipples no-problems fiasco, nobody's going to read this probably. But, if you did, I hope you put your thoughts on what’s going to happen out there. Take into account I wrote this while I was a bit, quite a bit, inebriated (that's the only time I voice my opinions on anything) so take this with a grain of salt.

[lethesomething]

The definitely not definitive otome guide

I sincerely doubt the world needs this, but that sort of thing has never stopped me before. Have an extremely biased guide of several dating sim games, organised by some arbitrary metrics.

Word of warning: this will be long (4k words), because I've played an embarrassingly large amount of otomes.

As a disclaimer: obviously this is a personal opinion. If you (as a lot of people do) enjoy the more forceful bad boy type in your dating sim, I’m not going to judge you. I, however, don’t, so this list is very specifically going to call out games for how they treat the protag.

Featured here: Amnesia: Memories,  Blood in Roses, Cutie Demon Crashers, Destined to Love, Dream Daddy, Hatoful Boyfriend, Hustle Cat,  Ikemen Revolution, Ikemen Sengoku, Lost Alice,  Midnight Cinderella,  Monster Prom, Mystic Messenger

A note on play styles.

These games come in a few flavours, which is important to know if you're gonna try them.

The vast majority of the mobile games here follow a basic visual novel structure. You pick a guy and read through the different chapters, and depending on your answers you'll be leaning toward one of two or three endngs. Since these are free to play mobiles, there's a bunch of challenges you will need to log in daily to pass.  

Mystic Messenger is the main outlier, since it's a chat simulator that plays in real time.

The pc games tend to be more complex, with interlocking routes and more endings, generally. You'll need a number of skill points to meet character A for instance, or you'll need to do a series of actions to reach ending B.

  Great games

Ikemen Sengoku

Hands down one of the best mobile otomes out there right now. I found this when searching for pics of Masamune Date (from a different game) and I've sort of been obsessed with otomes since.

Platform: Android (free to play, pay for premiums) Story: MC gets sucked into a wormhole and finds herself 500 years back in time, in Sengoku era Japan. She drops in on the exact moment where Nobunaga Oda, the Demon King, would be assassinated at Honno-ji. She stops the murder, disrupts the timeline and now there's a bunch of hot warlords vying for her attention. Protagonist’s spine: Reinforced steel. This is one of my favourite protags, because she is Super Sassy and doesn't take shit, unless she's literally being threatened with a sword. The protags where I feel like I understand their actions are few and far between, but this is one of them. Except when she goes far beyond mere bravery to get her man, and decides to forgo tampons and, like, wifi, to live 500 years in the god damn past. Squick factor: Low. This game is made by Cybird, a company that appears very big on consent. The guys generally treat MC with respect, probably more than could be reasonably asked of a Sengoku warlord. The only worrying stuff happens in the Obvious Yandere route, but you kinda know what you're getting yourself into with that one.

The Good: I friggin love the writing for this game. The guys feel like real characters, there's a ton of interaction between them and I need to give this game extra points for the story events, which are almost invariably gold. This is where the makers stop giving a shit about realism and just go for what they want to write. There's ones where all the guys are suddenly idols, there's a Christmas episode, there's one where they battle through cooking and cleaning. It doesn't take itself serious, is what i mean, and it's Hilarious. The Bad: This is one where the in-game art (aside from the CG's) is actually not that great. Hideyoshi's smile is kinda weird looking and the models feel a little outdated at this point. Best Warlord: This is very difficult, because a lot of them are dreamy, but let's just say that I need a Mitsuhide route so very badly.

 Ikemen Revolution

The newest Cybird game and my current fave.

Story: MC falls down the rabbit hole when she tries to give a rushed White Rabbit man something he dropped. She ends up in Cradle/Wonderland, where war is about to break out between the Red and Black army, the Hearts and the Spades. Everyone is hot dudes and MC is considered Alice the Second (after the one from Through the Looking Glass). Squick factor: Low. Again: Cybird game. This means there is steamy situations and sex scenes, but they're blatantly consensual. The routes I've played so far keep well within the bounds of what I would consider romantic. Protagonist’s spine: Varnished wood.  In general MC is self-propelling with occasional bouts of bravery. You can tell why she's doing the things she's doing and how she reacts to situations feels sort of logical. She's hard-working and caring and a little naïve, but the fact that she's canonically a woman from early 19th Century London does put a lot of her actions in perspective (like the amount of bullshit she puts up with).

The Good: The writing is fun. There's a good mix of angst and just… general comedy. The characters interact with each other a lot, and it feels like they're a big loud family, especially in the Black Army, which is more like a frat than anything else. The art is also decent. The backgrounds are utterly gorgeous and most of the guys are very good looking. When I first started the game I was weirded out by the blinking animation, but I have since gotten used to that. The Bad: I found some of the plot rushed. Like you spend so long slow burn growing toward each other, and then suddenly stuff has to happen action movie style because we're running out of chapters. The final chapters of Fenrir's route were just plain dumb. Like could that BE more of an obvious trap. Come on MC, I expected better of you. Also, since this is a very new game, not that many routes are out (four at the time of writing). Best boy: Hooo man. Of the routes that are out, Ray is very… oooof. But my fave chars are probably 'so done' Sirius (the fact that he's voiced by Suwabe has nothing to do with this, surely) and 'also quite done' Kyle, who is both a doctor and an alcoholic wreck of a human being.

 Mystic Messenger

You know Mystic Messenger, it's like one of the biggest otome's of the past few years.

Platform: Android, iOS (free to play, pay for extra saves and stuff) The Story: MC follows a text message to a weirdly high tech apartment and this somehow puts her in the position of party planner for a secretive group of weird people. It only gets more complicated from there. The game plays out in real time, via chat conversations and the occasional story segment. Squick factor: Um. I personally wasn't weirded out, but I also decided very specifically not to play Jumin's route. This girl did her research. The routes in Another Story are also very over the top and would probably bug me. While I love the Saeran character, I don't think I'd be able to handle that route. So: highly dependent on chosen route. Protagonist’s spine: Adderall. It takes a specific kind of person to download a chat app and follow the instructions given by a random stranger therein. It takes a much stranger person to sit in an apartment with a bomb and just keep inviting people to a party. MC is on a different level from us mortals.

The Good: I loved the game mechanic, because it felt very real. The player is following a chatroom, just like the character is. Besides that, the story is completely bonkers and I appreciate that. The Bad: Did I mention it plays in real time? Because it plays in real time, meaning you get chat conversations at two in the morning. I was very sleep deprived when I played this. Best boy: 707. Dude is funny and deep and hot and relatable and smart and I want to give him all the hugs.

 Dream Daddy

One of the few decidedly mlm games I've played so far. You've probably heard of it since it was the subject of much hype and much controversy. Markiplier played it. Friggin Buzzfeed has video's on it.

Platform: PC and Mac (it's on Steam) The Story: MC is a Dad who moves into a neighbourhood with a lot of other single(-ish) dads. Time to work it. Squick factor: Low. This is primarily a humour game: there's a ton of dad jokes and silly mini games, and a distinct lack of kabe don's. The canon routes are all very thoughtful. Protagonist’s spine: Barbecued sausage. Player Dad just goes for it. He’s flexible and caring enough to handle the more sensitive subjects, and self aware enough to deal with random crime and weird drunks.

The Good: I remember opening this game and, in the character creation screen, telling a trans friend of mine 'omg you can wear binders', and the sheer Glee of his reaction. That's the kinda stuff this game was, partly, made for and it is appreciated. I really liked the tongue-in-cheek writing, most of the jokes landed and the whole thing is just a lot of fun. The Bad: Some of the minigames are annoying. Why the hell are you making me play Bejeweled with fish? I also had a hard time sympathizing with some of the kids. I mean… Lucien straight up tries to murder someone? Ernest is 'rebellious' but he's also an ass. Best dad: Damien has the best route, but have you Seen Mat? Holy moly.

 Not worth it games

Amnesia: Memories

This game should come with a friggin warning, so I'm giving it here. Its popularity and star rating is a terrible indicator for how much you may enjoy this game. It presents itself as a cute dating sim with gorgeous art, but it devolves into straight up horror, and not in the good way. This feels like a guidebook written in the 1800's to tell young women their place. Not even mortified intrigue could make me finish this. 

Platform: PC (Steam or Google Play) and PlayStation Vita Story: MC wakes up with amnesia. Someone hurt her and she doesn't know who to trust. You'll need to figure out what happened. Squick factor: Super high. Like… so high.  Everyone treats MC like shit and she just lets it happen, even developing all kinds of Stockholm Syndrome as she falls in love with these asshats. MC's childhood friend supposedly loves her but is such a tsun and just… doesn't communicate while also treating her like a small child. One of the other characters is so popular he has a fucking harem but MC is just supposed to wait for him to actually fall in love with her. And don't even get me started on that friggin yandere. *shudders* Even the secret route 'true love' character is a million types of wrong. Protagonist’s spine: Undercooked custard. MC has the self preservation skills of a wet sponge and whoever is playing this is supposed to get turned on by high concept ideas of S&M that are just written out so badly everything feels like an abusive relationship.

The Good: *sigh* The art. The art is very pretty (I'm upset at the art since it sucked me into the horror). Also, as a visual novel, this one is complex as all hell. There's a ton of endings  (most of them deadly) depending your actions as a player. It's vast, is what I'm saying. Also, I hear the clover route isn't as bad as some of the others, but I was too weirded out to try. The Bad: See rant. This is one of those games that really seems to glorify the whole possessive, abusive boyfriend shtick, but it's ok because he loves you, really. Ugh. Just… ugh. Best boy: Kent? I guess? He doesn't appear to be actively abusing MC at least.

 Shall we date: Lost Alice

I wondered if I should include this because I literally played like ten chapters  and then deleted it, but that in itself should give some indication.

Platform: Android (free to play, in-app premium purchases) Story: MC wakes up in the forest with amnesia (I see a trend). Turns out she's in Wonderland and everyone thinks she's Alice. Most of Wonderland's characters are, predictably, hot men. Squick  factor: Unavailable. I didn't play far enough to see but some of the men are quite pushy and also it's a Shall we date app, so… tread carefully. Protagonist’s spine: Cement. This is an MC that puts up a fight, which I respect. Sadly she does so in that 'needlessly aggressive' way that anime characters sometimes have. I didn't find her particularly sympathetic.

The Good: The art. It's always the art that gets me. The Bad: The UI annoyed the shit out of me. This is a free to play, pay for premiums game, so some level of mindless clicking is expected if you try to play for free. This one had just too much. There was friend greeting and picture rating and princess lessons and got knows what else, all taking a ton of time. Trying to get to the home page popped up at least four different 'now on sale' screens every single time. The writing wasn't good enough for me to deal with that. Best boy: Well there’s a cat. So.

 Decent games

Hustle cat

This game is set in a cat café, that was all the encouragement I needed to buy it.

Platform: PC (Steam) Story: MC is invited to take a job at a cat café. Turns out everyone in the café is cursed, and also they're into you. Squick factor: Almost non-existant. This is a very tumblr friendly game in the sense that your love interests are both male and female, and none of them are particularly pushy. The relationships feel pretty natural and mostly consist of MC helping their love interest with some subquest. Protagonist’s spine: Cucumber. MC is actually pretty cool. The game does that 'modern western game' thing where you get to pick a gender and a skin colour for your protag and the general atmosphere is 'tongue in cheek'. MC doesn't let people walk over them, but they're generally helpful.

The Good: CATS. The premise of this game is pretty neat. The Bad: According to Steam I played this five months ago, and I pretty much forgot about it. Fun game but not particularly memorable. Best cat: Landry. Tall, gentle giants are a particular weakness.

 Shall we date: Blood in Roses

This is me giving Shall we Date another shot, because the amount of hot mildly medieval boys was intriguing.

Platform: Android (free to play, in-app premiums) Story: There's two, because this app has been around for a while and now has two 'seasons'. The Witch stumbles upon a supposedly abandoned castle and gets imprisoned there by a bunch of vampires. The Hunter, meanwhile, seeks out the castle because she wants to stop an attack on her village. Both come to realize that the castle is now a hotel for monsters, and that its denizens are both not what they imagined, and also hot. Squick factor: Highly dependent on route. The Witch literally starts in a jail cell, so you can imagine the Stockholm Syndrome shit that goes down. Also, this is a personal preference, but I'm really weirded out by a lot of blood play stuff so most of the vampire routes are gonna be… problematic. Shall we Date games don't shy away from sex scenes and I like that, but coupling them with drinking blood 'to get in the mood' is a rather specific niche. The game does offer a number of other options for you to court, from werewolves to wizards and… grim reapers? It's a mixed batch. If you're not into pushed boundaries I can offer one tip: stay away from the vampires. Protagonist’s spine: Sand cookie. She has one, but it's brittle. I've mostly played Hunter routes and it's like… she tries, and she can take care of herself but she also tolerates more bullshit than necessary, ya know.

The Good: The art is good, and some of the storylines are intriguing despite my reservations. I'm still playing it (mostly in a quest to find a good ending where MC doesn't die to become a weird immortal creature).  The UI, while annoying, isn't as bad as Lost Alice's, or so it seems. The Bad: The writing is very hit or miss. There's routes where the guy just sort of lowkey stalks MC, until she suddenly decides she's incredibly in love with him. There's others  that make even less sense, and then there's ones that feel more natural. In general, MC's actions don't  seem to have a lot of thought put into them. Best boy: So far: Gordon. He's cute and sensible and tortured and not incredibly antagonistic.

 Midnight Cinderella

You'll notice a friggin ton of Cybird games on here.

Platform: Android (free to play, premium purchases) Story: MC gets, mostly by accident, chosen to be the Princess of Wysteria. As such she must prepare to govern the country when the king dies, and choose a consort from a number of suitors. Squick factor: Low. Not only are these men respectful of her, they're rather literally treating her like royalty. Having said that, there is a lot of the typical hurtful tsun stuff going in several routes. Protagonist’s spine: Lightly done steak. There's something weird going on with the protag in this game. When it comes to governing, she's tough as nails. She's thrown into a situation she wasn't ready for, and while this stresses her out 24/7, she performs admirably. On the other hand, her main reaction to literally anything when it comes to love is 'Oh'. She cries a lot, at times she feels like a wet rag. There's a bunch of situations she could have just solved by going 'Yeah I'm into you'. She's complex, I guess.

The Good: The writing, while melodramatic, is nice. The art is good as well. The Bad: This is an old game and it doesn't perform that well on my current-gen smartphone. Expect to push certain buttons several times before the game realizes what you're trying to do. Also the loading takes ages. Best boy: For me, Sid, because he reminds me of Aomine Daiki and I'm weak for that type of personality. As far as routes go, Leo's probably had the most impact on me.

 Destined to Love

I'll be honest, I started this because of an event in Ikemen Sengoku that would give me cross game storage. Don't judge me.

The Story: MC gets flung back in time (this is also a trend, it seems) to the 1800's, a few weeks before the Ikedaya incident will make the Shinsen-gumi a historic Legend. She meets, and chrams, a whole bunch of historical figures. Protagonist’s spine: Cured leather. As a modern woman sent back in time, MC is probably fairly sassy by the standards of the time, but she remains mostly polite. She's tough, considering the circumstances, but quite pliable in that 'we'll see where this goes and make the best of it' way. Squick factor: Low. There's one character that just screams 'red flag' but I have yet to try his route. Since this is a Cybird game, most of the guys are pretty respectful.

The Good: I really like the premise? As the title suggests, MC's love is part of a higher destiny, one that transcends time, and it's one of the reasons she has to go to friggin 1800's Japan. She has a hand in making history. This amuses me. Also, the guys are pretty good looking. The Bad: This is a fairly old mobile game and you can kinda tell. On a technical level it's not as bad as Midnight Cinderella, but again the touch buttons aren't always responsive. Besides that, some of the writing is rather clunkily translated and a bunch of the art is low res. Best Boy: I haven't played all the routes here, but Katsura is a god damn sweetheart, and Kyo and Yamazaki seem adorable AF.

 The weird: the special ones

Hatoful Boyfriend

The reason I know otome's exist. This one shot to meme status a few years back.

Platform: PC (it's on Steam) Story: MC is one of the last remaining humans after sentient birds took over the world. She gets enrolled into an elite school for pigeons. Squick factor: Medium to high. The major thing to understand about Hatoful is that on the surface it looks like a particularly silly dating sim with pigeons, but dig deeper and it is Also a full blown apocalyptic horror story. And it follows the genre where a wrong move gets MC horrifically killed. Having said that, several of the routes, including the god damn serial killer one, didn't bother me as much as something like Amnesia, because they were not sold as romantic. Maybe it's the whole pigeon thing, maybe it's the general weirdness of the plot, or maybe it is because said serial killer actually goes 'Surely you knew this would happen', before he guts you. Protagonist’s spine: Gummy bear. MC is highly forgettable, but therefore also like… not annoying. The main focus here is on uncovering the many layered plot and the player character doesn't really have a scripted personality, she just embodies the player's actions.

The Good: This whole game is so out there. There's a reason it became so popular. It's an Experience. The plot is over the top and intricate and Weird, and that makes it intriguing. There's a ton of routes and endings, some more secret than others. The 'human' version of some of these birds is kinda hot (sadly that includes the serial killer). The Bad: the plot is so weird and meandering that it's kinda hard to follow at times. I'm fairly certain it takes several guides to unlock all the endings. Best Birb: It's been a while, but I remember liking Yuuya's route quite a lot.

 Monster Prom

The new hype.

Platform: PC (Steam!) Story: MC is a student at Monster High, and is trying to get a date for Monster Prom with one of the hot people. Squick factor: None. I mean, nothing that happens here is in accordance to health and safety norms, but that's kinda the point. It's a parody game, making fun of all the hoops teenagers are willing to jump through to become popular. Protagonist's spine: Coagulated blood. MC is willing to make deals with demons, wear corpses as a hat, anything really. The question is very openly: what could I do to make them like me.

The Good: It's a funny game. I like the characters, who embody everything from the Mean Girl to the Hipster Nerd and the Needlessly Aggressive Jock. The art is simple, cartoon style, but pretty neat. The Bad: Everything is very tongue in cheek, which leaves it a little… light for my tastes. I don't feel like any of the routes matter in the grand scheme of things, MC hasn't truly touched anyone's heart. The whole thing is a joke game, so it's funny, but a bit shallow. Best monster: Polly, the permanently stoned party girl.

 Cute Demon Crashers

Technically a sex game? But a really very special one.

Platform: PC (free! Here!) Story: A portal opens in MC's house and four Incubi/Succubi drop through. To apologize for the inconvenience, while they wait for a portal back, they offer to teach MC about sex. Squick factor: I've written about this game before and the best thing, the very best thing about it is how incredibly consent-minded it is. Like, even if you're already in bed, getting it on, there's always an option to turn back and leave it at that. The demons are really just there to help MC find out what gives her pleasure. Protagonist’s spine: Rock. Obviously, MC is mildly upset about four random demons showing up. As mentioned before, what happens next is mostly up to the player.

The Good: It's free and the art is pretty and I love the premise. The Bad: Kinda short, but again: free. Cutest Demon Crasher: *cough* Orias *cough*

[notyourmotherswitch]

When Dean finds home

TITLE:  WHEN DEAN FINDS HOME

CHAPTER NO: 1/?

AUTHOR:  notyourmotherswitch

You end up at the bunker after a trauma.  Slowly the guys realize how much they want you there.

RATING: M

WARNINGS: Death of your child, grief (it gets better, then REALLY better), self esteem issues, language, smut, little Daddy kink.

NOTES: My very first ever.  First fanfic, first writing a story for others, first major posting on tumbler.  Please be kind.  Also I apparently have a strong author voice.  I have always loved the theatrical aside, where the actor lets you in.  A quick personal joke, quick addition to the sentence or funny reaction.

Sam did hear y/n crying, and as he had for every night since you came to the bunker, he grabbed a pillow and slept beside your door.  He knew you needed to work through, well everything, but wanted to make sure if you needed more that he was right there for you.  Dean slept thru almost anything.  After the sobs diminished, he crept back to his room, sad he couldn’t do more to help you thru this.  He hoped you asked for help if it got to be too much.  He was afraid that even if you did need help, you wouldn’t think to ask someone else.  You asked for so little.

The story so far:

You were screaming, looking at the Aurora’s crib.  Then those two men burst into your home.  The tall one went straight to the crib, blanched, and with a blank face pulled her blanket over her poor little body.  Sam then turned to you with a sad face and said, “She did not suffer.  She did not feel pain.  The thing that did this...”  You went silent; you had to know what could do this.  Why Aurora?

“Damn it!”  Suddenly you realize the shorter one (who still towered over you) is pissed angry.  He won’t meet your eyes. Sam gently suggests you go to the living room.  “Dean, get some water for her.”

“Right.”  As Sam sat you down, you could hear Dean slamming cabinet doors hunting for a glass.  Sam gently sat down opposite you on the coffee table, frankly you were surprised it held up, it was almost embarrassing cheap.  But it allowed you to get the best crib the store had, and Aurora was so worth the furniture that would grow as she did.  Oh.  Sam was talking to you with this puppy dog look on his face, you probably should pay attention.

You do your best to listen, you even managed to ask a few questions.  Sam explained that there were things that go bump in the night.  Most hid as humans, but some just did not have that level of intelligence.  They had been tracking a beast, you couldn’t remember what it’s name was, that had killed some “recreational hunters” (sounds fake, but ok).  Earlier that day they had tracked the beast down to a lair in the woods and found its family.  During the process of “ganking” (weird name), the female escaped wounded. While they were tracking it down to finish their job, they heard you screaming.  Best they could figure, it crawled into your precious Aurora’s room and took sustenance to speed the healing process.  They killed it as it left your home, too late.  Dean brought you a glass of water, but still didn’t meet your eyes.

What happened next, you can only guess, cause you fainted.  The night had proved too much to process.

*****

You start to wake up, you aren’t in your bed.  You are in a moving car.  Why? Then last night floods into your memory. You can’t even think past the grief and gasp as waves of pain, horror and grief overwhelm you.  “Damn it, she’s awake again.”  You hear Dean swear under his breath.  “There’s a pull off just ahead, I’ll pull over.”  The car, something old but maintained, pulls over gently.  This isn’t a normal rest stop, there’s no bathroom, no gas station, no restaurant. Suddenly you realize you are in a car, with two unknown men who have admitted to hunting and killing THINGS, and there is no one in sight.  They took you from your home.  Fear grips you, pushing your grief back out of the way of survival.  Suddenly there are no emotions, and you take the first full breath since… no, and stop crying.  You watch both men very carefully, hoping for a moment when you can run, escape or do injury. Injury might work, might even help kill some pain…

Sam is looking at your face, he turned in his seat and is just watching you with a sad face as the car comes to a stop.  Something in Sam’s body language tells you to wait and see what they do, you don’t feel he would hurt you.  Don’t know about the compact firecracker though.

Sam waits, watching your expression flit across your face.  He can see your survival instincts have kicked in and you have a false calm. “y/n, my name is Sam.  This is my brother Dean.  We met last night.  Do you remember what happened last night?”

“Aurora.”  A sob escapes you.  You push it back down, you can’t grieve right now, you have to survive.”

“Do you remember us talking last night?”  “Yes, you said you killed that thing.”  “Good. I promise, Aurora did not feel pain or fear and it was quick.”  “I understand.”

“Before we talk about anything else, do you have any questions about last night?”  “No.  My life is over.”  You state it with such belief, Sam is struck dumb.  A slow ok of understanding came out with a tear in his eye too.  “Why did you kidnap me?  I have no money, no family, and no reason for anyone to want me.”

Dean had been watching you in the mirror, he thought he understood your grief, and did not want to make things harder for you by another stranger watching you.  But he couldn’t not watch you.  You were so sure that your life was over, you stated it.  He could see the grief in your every movement. He was impressed you were able to tamp down your feelings to get on with a task.  That took serious balls, he thought.   Someone that ballsy couldn’t be allowed to give up.

“We did not kidnap you, at least we did not intend to.  After you fainted,” You snorted unbelieving. “After you passed out, we got a call from a friend.  He needs our help, fast.  Normally we would have called a relative or the cops for you.  But when we found your contacts list, we couldn’t have someone we thought we could call.  And the way that thing hunted, it could look like you had killed your daughter.  We decided we couldn’t leave you alone to face all that, but we had to leave, so we brought you along.”  

A soft “Sorry” came from the green eyes in the mirror.  After they eye contact, Dean sighs and turns to face you as well.  They are both clearly trying to NOT scare you, not putting their arms past the seat back, not invading your space and Sam’s voice seems like he was really trying to be calming.  It was succeeding.  You start to relax, now that you are sure you aren’t about to be raped and killed.  A new dark part of you whispers that you can’t even get enough attention to be raped, let alone have these two very handsome guys paying attention to you.

“Oh.  I get it.  I will call a cab to come get me and I will be out of your way.”  You thought your words were as emotionless as you felt; instead the defeat in your voice betrayed you.  You realize not only do you still have on your pjs and slippers; you do not have your wallet or phone.  Sam held your phone out with raised eyebrows.  “ Here’s your phone, we were trying to find someone to help you. We grabbed some things for you, they are in the back”  

“No one helps me, they only want me to help them.  I can walk back.”  You are just so numb.  You just want to be in your bed, holding… no.  You can’t go back without her.  There was a nosy old biddy who would probably love to call the cops if she felt something was off.  She was always trying to get your to confess who the father was, tried to shame you whenever she saw you with “your little bastard”.  She did not believe a woman would want a child by herself, and only believed you were a slut.  You wondered what she had thought about the fact no man ever visited your home.

“Damn it, damn it, damn IT!” The explosion from Dean startled you. Sam immediately shot a look at his brother to watch it, but was surprised at Dean’s chagrin.  “She can’t go back.  The cops won’t believe her, there is no body, and there is no one to..”

“WHAT!?”  You scream at Dean, “What do you mean there is no BODY? Where is my little girl you supreme ass-“

Sam practically jumped over the seat.  “Wait. We wouldn’t have left her like that. The beast can carry a type of infection, so we had to burn it.  We also had to cremate your daughter, to be safe and to protect you.”  “WHAT?!  Why?” This did not make you feel better, just more afraid.  Sam quickly explained that there would have been too many questions from a medical examiner, and without the body of the thing… it would look like you killed her. That even you being in town without her would raise horrible questions.  They did gather up her ashes for you.  She was in the back with your stuff.

“So without being able to talk to you, or leave you in a safe situation, we brought you until we could figure out what to do with you.  We just have to get to our friend we will get you a separate room, help him then we can talk about what you want to do.  You are safe.  We will help you figure out what you want to do as soon as we’re done.”  As you take calming breaths and force yourself not to starting crying again, you lose the battle.

Figuring you were mostly up to speed, and past the freaking out stage, Dean pulls back out onto the lonely road.  As you feel the blissful blankness of exhausted sleep roll over you, as you hear Dean whisper, it confuses you.   “We have to keep her.  Sam, you know we do.”  “I know Dean, but only as long as she wants us to.  I think she’s too used to being alone.”  No one ever wanted to keep you before.  No one worried about you, not since Nana, why these two?

*****

You start to surface as you feel the car pull into a stop.  The front doors open (one squeaked) and feel the weight of the guys get out of the car.  “You get the rooms, I will get our stuff together and get her to bed.”  Someone else has it covered, someone else is taking care of what needs to be taken care of and for once it isn’t you.  Even as your mind boggles at the thought, a hint of grief appears.  You are too sleepy to remember what or why, but allow yourself to fall back into sleep’s arms and away from bad things.

The door you were leaning on opens, nearly dropping you to the pavement.  Sam quickly maneuvers to support your shoulders and sweeps your legs up, carrying you into a cheap motel room.  You swim through the sleep, struggling to understand.  Sam picked you up.  No Sam SWOOPED you up, like a freaking prince charming!  Like the pregnancy weight you never bothered to lose (what for?) wasn’t even there.  Even as he lowers you onto a double bed, you just can’t reconcile it.  No one ever picked you up to hug or kiss you, probably in fear of hurting themselves.  Sam did not even grunt once.  You did not know it was possible for someone to make you feel petite or feminine.  You stare at his soft brown eyes in confusion. Nothing about this made sense.

Sam smiled at you in relief, “Oh, good you’re awake.  We were getting worried about you.”  Sam stepped out the open doorway and you see him grab a bag out of the trunk of the car. You finally got to see the car you have been riding in.  Black shiny old school mussel car.  Your knowledge of cars was very limited, but you recognize the style and appreciate what good condition it was in.  “I grabbed a few things for you, I did not see any medications, thought you would like to have something to change into.”  You look down, there is your pretty flowered gym bag and you realize that you were out of it, cause you did not even think about clothes.  But now all you wanted to do was brush your teeth.

“Dean and I need to go see our friend right away.  The rooms are paid for the next two nights, if we don’t come back.  We expect to be back before light.  We also picked up some supplies, if you need anything, we can pick up more tomorrow.”  Before you could think to ask any questions, he was back out the door.  You could here the car revving and Dean saying something about how the friend was able to kill it but needed help cleaning up.  The rocks kicked up peppered your door.

*****

And you were alone. Again.

The water was surprisingly hot, plentiful and with decent pressure.  Your experience with cheap motels usually left you wanting to leave right away, merely a pit stop to wherever your destination was.  This one was surprisingly clean.  Worn out, used, dated but clean.  You had to regroup.  You had to make decisions.  You had a funeral to plan; wait.  Where was Aurora?  You start to feel anxiety pushing over your good sense and prickle your scalp.  That would not help you.  You have to put emotions aside and make plans.  Plans to escape?  They left you in your own room; you saw them put bags into the room next door. They may have left you, without transportation, but they also left your phone.  As you dig into your bag for clothes, you had to laugh.

This bark of a laugh just erupted out of you.  There was no bra.  They remembered socks, 8 pairs in fact, remembered your toothbrush.  There were probably 4 complete outfits in there.  All your yoga pants, which normally never left the house, because you never wanted to inflict your shape on strangers.  Several tops, all the “cute” ones you didn’t wear after Aurora because they were too un-mom-like. You gasp when you see a thin, silver chain.  They grabbed your favorite necklace from your bed stand. It was the Goddess, given to you by Nana after you dedicated yourself to Wicca.  The last thing you had of her, thanks to poor estate planning.

As you feel the necklace settle, you sit down hard on the bed.  It hits you like a train.  You life is over.  Then your fathers voice from childhood memory floated forward.  “Never give up on life, give up on the day.  When it gets bad, go to sleep early.  Then the day is over, you get sleep and can deal with whatever fresh in the morning.  And there is always another day to start over, to start better.”  You did not remember much, but you remember his saying. It is what kept you going when things got tough.  You couldn’t think of anything more awful than the last 24 hours.  But he was right, tomorrow was another day to start better.

You were never the type of gal to grab a guy’s attention, let alone devotion.  You never had the epic teenage love, the tragic college guy or even many of the lonely one-night stands.  You got dates, but usually ended up hearing about how great you were, for someone else.  You got put into sister category too often to be able to picture a wedding or a family. After the accident you were raised by your grandma, a distracted lonely but loving environment, until your freshman year at college when she had her aneurism.  That day, you decided not to wait for your prince charming and started to save, scrimp and plan to make your future for YOU.  You could plan, you could research, you could be a mom.  So after years, on your 35thbirthday, and by yourself, you went to your doctors office and got lucky on the first cycle.  Everything was a beautiful dream, on your own.

You had the whole night to do nothing more than think.  Left alone, more alone than you can ever remember, you decide that you don’t want to be alone anymore.  You decide once you get home you will get a pound puppy.  Do some good, help someone, take care of and love something.  You can’t fall down, you want Aurora to look down and see you carrying on.  You may not be able to mother anymore, but you can still be a good to her mother. You will go on, because to do less would be an insult to her brief life.

You made your decision. You would carry on.  Look for meaning, look to help others, be the good that a monster took out of this life.  You could plan.  No, that was too simple of a way to put it.  You had a way of figuring out what you wanted to do, what would have to happen to allow you to do what you wanted to do.  You loved lists, checklists, plans.  Whenever life got to be too much, you planned your way into something better. After all, as long as it only depended on you, you could make anything happen.  Other people messed up plans, rarely helped, and mostly just made you feel worse.  So ya, you were alone, but you have always been alone.  So nothing new other than the grief.

*****

The boys were driving to the motel.  Their fellow hunter, Jeffrey, was not very skilled.  He thought he killed the monster, but did not realize they always hunted in pairs.  Luckily Dean saw it creeping up on Jeffrey as he was burning the body of the first one, one shot one kill.  Easy enough to add the second body to the pyre, sweep for any others.  Destroy any evidence of monster, but leave enough for people to have closure about their missing loved ones.

The road was quiet, and for once Dean did not have the radio on.  “Dean, why didn’t we leave y/n with a friend?  It wouldn’t have taken long.”  “Sammy, the closest person we trust is Jodi.  Do you really want to take a freshly grieving mother to Jodi?  Make her relive her own worst day?  I can’t do that to her.”

“Well, then what are we going to do with her?  We can’t keep her.”

“Why not?”  An idea came to Dean, but it probably wouldn’t work,

“What?!  Keep her?  What are you talking about?  Dean, our lives don’t let us have friends who are just friends.  Its too dangerous for those who don’t know.”

“So we tell her, teach her, so she can protect herself.”

“Dean, I am pretty sure she can take care of herself just fine.  She appeared to be doing just that when we found her.  She can go back, explain Aurora died while on vacation and was cremated. There are grief support groups, her life to help her though.”

“Sam, this IS a sad day when you miss such obvious signs.”

“What?!”

“Sam.  Really? Ok lets think.  Where was her husband, her partner, the father?”

“From what I saw there is no man in her life.”

“And her friends, how many are there?”  Dean started to smile, for once he was the one who noticed and loved showing his brainy brother up.

“Um..”  “Exactly!  That’s my point!”  “Explain.”

“While you were digging thru her desk looking for who to call, I looked in her diary.  I know, I know, huge privacy break. But it would have told us who was the most important person, who would help her deal.  There is no one.”

“What do you mean, no one.”

“No one, Sam.  You and me, we have each other till the end of the line.  We have friends who help out when the shit hits the fan.  She had no one.  She did not hang out with coworkers after work, she did not have dates, she only took care of her kid.  In her diary she said she did that test tube crap to have the kid.  That people who she thought were friends were turned their back on her when she had her child, cause she was no longer their designated driver all night long.  Can you believe that shit?!  There is no one.  She just moved to this new town to get away from nasty gossips and moved right next to another one who was making this town miserable as well.”

“Dean, I get it.  It sucks, but it is her life.”

“Exactly my point again.” “How so?”

“She lived for the kid. What is she going to do now?  Go back to the town that thought awful things about her and explain her daughter’s gone?  Go back to the house where her kid was killed?  There is nothing there for her now.  She is alone.”  Sam speared Dean with a penetrating look, Dean was looking like he was almost getting away with something.  “I mean, we have extra rooms, and I think for as long as she needs… sheshouldstaywithus.” Dean suddenly was very concerned with finding a radio station.

Sam was surprised, normally he was the one who wanted to bring home the wounded and care for them. There was something about this situation that made Dean act so strangely.  Normally he was the one arguing about not just walking away after the job was done. He was the one who made sure there was loving support when they walked away.  Most of the time they were trying to get away fast, so it was only a talk to your preacher or tell people it was a car accident, it will explain away more. Dean normally did not do this. Strange.  Sam agreed to offer the sanctuary to their wounded bird, but only if she wanted to.

[jordoalejandro]

The Fifth Annual List of TV Shows I Saw the Past Year

This is another weird year for the list.

For one, a handful of shows are still on some kind of COVID related delay or hiatus.

Two, I dropped quite a few shows. Some I just bailed on because I had no patience to watch another season of them. Some shows I never got around to because I had an Apple TV+ free subscription that came with my iPhone and that ran out and I didn’t pay to renew it. (Here’s my quick review of Apple TV+: the quality of the shows is good but the quantity leaves a lot to be desired. You could probably pay for a month and binge through everything you have any interest in.)

Three, a lot of shows that I’m reviewing here have seasons that aren’t finished. They’re still going. Most are at least close to finishing. Some that have just started I’m going to wait on and review on next year’s list. But a handful of shows on this list are chugging along. I’m trying to factor that into my reviews but it's obviously a bit unfair to the shows. On the other hand, who cares?

So it’ll be a list with fewer entries, comprised of full seasons of shows and shows I watched most of. The list must happen, though. However it has to happen, it must happen.

Here’s the list of shows I’ve watched since the last Emmy Awards.

41. The Equalizer (Season 1 - 2021, CBS) (Last year’s ranking: N/A) - The Equalizer is a fascinating show. You know how with some shows people will say the show is fully realized from the pilot? It’s usually presented as a good thing -- a show that knew what it was from the start and executed that vision. The Equalizer is that but in a bad way. It’s a show that from the pilot has felt like it was already in its tired ninth season, trudging along, writers and actors and everyone just going through the motions because they’re trapped in their contracts. There’s nothing fresh about this. No life to it. Uninteresting plots. Weak dialogue. Characters -- both heroes and villains -- that you’ve seen a thousand times (the nerdy IT expert, the troublesome teenage child of the main character, the generic good looking older white guy boss figure, blah blah blah). A show that’s already in late-stage syndication mode.

40. The Flash (Season 7 - 2021, CW) (Last year’s ranking: 49) - Speaking of late-stage syndication mode, The Flash has been in a creative tailspin for several years now. A big part of the problem is they just have no ideas left in the tank for villains on this show. This leads to them either reusing old ones (which doesn’t have a ton of dramatic impact -- we’ve seen The Flash beat all these people before), or digging through comic canon for the ones they have left (they’ve been unused this long for a reason). The other problem is it turns out running fast as a solution to every issue gets old very quickly. The producers must have felt this, and having gotten tired of telling Barry he has to run faster than he’s ever run before, they’ve switched it up and are now telling him to love people harder than he’s ever loved them before. Beyond the structural problems, the show is just not working on a very basic level. The writing has gotten super corny. The acting seems off. They’ve introduced new characters that are not working. The Flash had my worst rated episode this year and the weird thing was, it wasn’t even a mess of an episode. Like, functionally, it worked. It went from point A to point B and all that fine. But the problem was the titular Flash took off in the first few minutes of the episode to have sex with his wife on an island (not a joke) and didn’t return until the last few minutes of the episode. In between, viewers received a very boring, very boilerplate episode of The Flash, starring one of the new side characters it’s incredibly hard to care about. And she interacted with some even more to-the-side side characters and had some relationship issues with them and on and on until they inevitably saved the day in the end and it was so dull and so pointless that it made me say out loud, “What is this? Why am I watching this? Who could possibly care about anything that is happening on screen right now?” I felt that a lot during this season of The Flash. That was the only time I felt compelled to articulate it, but I felt it a lot. And that’s not a great place to be with a show.

39. Riverdale (Season 5 - 2021, CW) (Last year’s ranking: 50) - Here’s a little insight as to how stupid Riverdale can be. Between episodes three and four of this season (episode three was what would’ve been the season finale of season 4, which was cut short by COVID so at least it's not wholly random, in fairness), Riverdale did a seven year time jump. This seven year time jump landed them in the year… 2021. They shifted everything that happened in the first four seasons of their show, including dozens upon dozens of current day pop culture references, about a decade into the past. And why did they do this? So they could change a few things and then basically keep telling the same exact stories they were telling the first four years of this show. Just stupid nonsense. Stupid nonsense all around. Which, to be fair, I actually used to look forward to from this show. I’ve argued here that it’s at its best when it’s being as stupid as possible, but this year the nonsense just doesn’t seem inspired. They’re recycling some plots. The actors seem checked out. Maybe all the years of nonsense have finally taken their toll on them.

38. Batwoman (Season 2 - 2021, CW) (Last year’s ranking: 43) - Batwoman lost its main actress in between seasons, which obviously put it at a difficult crossroads. In my opinion, the wise thing to do would have probably been to recast as best as possible and carry on. Instead, the show chose to go a different direction and cast a new person to play an entirely new character. There was maybe a way this could work, but you likely have to retool the entire show to get there. Instead, they changed nothing but the main character and inserted her into the middle of the old character’s world, forcing her to have the same supporting characters and deal with some of the same storylines the old character was dealing with. This led to a lot of story beats where new Batwoman had to interact with old Batwoman’s family. What was in season one drama between Batwoman and her sister, or her father, became drama between the new Batwoman and this crazy lady she just met, or this guy she barely knows. As you might be able to guess, this added an air of “who cares?” to the proceedings. Also, the whole season essentially became an origin story for new Batwoman, which was a problem because that’s basically what season one of the show was. It wasn't super engrossing. That said, let me put aside the issues raised there. Having to recast your main actress is obviously a tough situation. They didn’t handle it well, but it was tough. Here’s why this show is still all the way down here on the list: bad execution. Week in, week out: bad plots, bad dialogue, dumb subplots, forgettable villains. A lot of the same issues that are plaguing The Flash. The show is simply not executing. It’s like these superhero CW shows don’t know how to do writers’ rooms over Zoom.

37. Everything’s Gonna Be Okay (Season 2 - 2021, Freeform) (Last year’s ranking: 47) - I said last year I didn’t know if I liked this show or not. I think the fact that I’ve put it near the bottom of my list for two years in a row has answered that for me. It’s a kind of fascinating show in how, I guess… aimless it is. Floating from one scene to the next, one plot to the next, one episode to the next, no real driving force. A comedy that’s not really funny. A drama that isn’t very strong. A few good moments in a season of ten half-hour episodes. Would I have watched a third season? Yeah, probably. Not in a hate-watch way, but also not in a like-watch way. I’m glad it got canceled because it means I’m free of it. Would I recommend to other people any of the shows I’ve seen from Josh Thomas? No. Definitely not. Will I watch whatever Josh Thomas writes next? Yeah, probably. Though I can’t say why.

36. Soulmates (Season 1 - 2020, AMC) (Last year’s ranking: N/A) - This was a short Black Mirror-esque anthology series that ran out of interesting stories to tell surprisingly quick. Like, third episode quick. This show’s problem is that, while Black Mirror has freedom to tell lots of different stories, Soulmates is restrained by its premise: a short time into the future a company creates a test that can match you to your soulmate with 100% accuracy. It’s not a bad premise, but you can sort of imagine how it would constrain the storytelling possibilities. The test matches you with someone surprising, the test matches you with the wrong person, etc. etc. The whole thing was only six episodes and it felt repetitive even within that small amount.

35. Debris (Season 1 - 2021, NBC) (Last year’s ranking: N/A) - Debris was created by J. H. Wyman, who did a lot of work on Fringe, one of my favorite sci-fi shows ever. Unfortunately, Debris was just a pale imitation of Fringe. The characters weren’t strong enough. The ideas weren’t intriguing enough. The episodes were often flat. They just didn’t have enough action or drama or horror or twists or whatever you might be hoping for from a show like this. They’d have a lot of walking around and looking at stuff and people talking about the stuff that was happening and then they’d kind of just peter out. A real disappointment.

34. The Walking Dead: World Beyond (Season 1 - 2020, AMC) (Last year’s ranking: N/A) - You know how teenagers can often be the worst characters on a TV show? How they can exist just to act bratty and make really stupid decisions? Well, imagine a whole show of that. I’m half-joking. It’s not that bad. There’s some fun stuff and it works as a companion piece in this series of shows, but for the most part, it’s a lot of watching teenagers make really stupid decisions and almost getting themselves killed.

33. Stargirl (Season 2 - 2021, CW) (Last year’s ranking: 36) - Speaking of teenagers making really stupid decisions and almost getting themselves killed... Stargirl is a bit of a strange show. It’s kind of lighthearted, but also weirdly dark (more children die in this show than died in all the other shows I watched this year combined). It has some interesting characters and some absolutely ridiculous ones. Some fun episodes, but what also feels like quite a bit of filler. It’s not bad, it’s just also not great.

32. Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist (Season 2 - 2021, NBC) (Last year’s ranking: 20) - The first season of this show was about a handful of things, but the big emotional throughline was about Zoey dealing with the impending death of her father, who had been diagnosed with an incurable neurological disease. While the other plotlines in the show could be hit or miss, there was always emotional meat on that bone, so to speak. Well, minor spoiler alert I guess, but her father died at the end of the first season from the aforementioned incurable disease. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the second season of the show really laid bare how important that throughline was to the whole thing. Without it, the show felt rudderless. There were a lot of pieces of plots but nothing really anchoring them the way her father’s storyline did. Plus, there was a lot more love-triangle stuff, which wasn’t the most original, compelling plot the first season and grew even more tiresome in the second. The show sort of became like late-stage Glee for me, where I stopped caring about the plots and just listened for the songs. That more or less worked with Glee because almost all the people on that show were excellent singers. It works much less on this show because maybe (generously) half the performers are good singers.

31. MacGyver (Season 5 - 2020-2021, CBS) (Last year’s ranking: 26) - It was a pretty weak final season for MacGyver. They abandoned some interesting storylines from last season in a disappointing way. In fairness, it’s because last season got shortened by COVID and I guess for whatever reason they couldn’t find a way to pick back up where they left off. But still, they had a tough time regaining the momentum after they lost it. The cancellation was without warning from CBS, too, so there’s no real conclusion to anything. Just an average season finale that suddenly became a series finale. Tough way to go out.

30. Bob's Burgers (Season 11 - 2020-2021, FOX) (Last year’s ranking: 38) - I was looking back at my episode ratings for this show from the last two years and realized they were pretty similar. Both last year and this year, there was only one episode per season that I thought was pretty good. There was also one episode each year I thought was awful. And then, basically, there were 21 episodes each season that were fine. Just fine. A few laughs. Nothing really engrossing. Worked well enough to keep me entertained and not much more.

29. The Walking Dead (Season 10B - 2021, AMC) (Last year’s ranking: 29) - The eleventh season of the show is currently on-going. That’ll be on next year’s list. This is just for a grouping of six episodes that aired earlier this year. They were extremely forgettable with the exception of two episodes. I enjoyed “One More” quite a bit and I really liked the Negan origin story episode: “Here’s Negan”. Probably one of the best episodes they’d done in years.

28. The Blacklist (Season 8 - 2020-2021, NBC) (Last year’s ranking: 39) - A slight improvement for this show from last year. A handful of average episodes, a few very good ones. A really fascinating choice made at the end of the season that makes me interested in seeing what next season will be like.

27. The Moodys (Season 2 - 2021, FOX) (Last year’s ranking: 46) - I described this show last season as “likeable if not particularly funny” and said if it was to come back, the writing would have to get sharper. That remains pretty accurate. The writing was slightly better, though not enough to make this a truly good show.

26. Falcon and the Winter Soldier (Season 1 - 2021, Disney+) (Last year’s ranking: N/A) - This show was way too overstuffed to really work well, which seems a poor choice made in the writing process. It has like a dozen different ideas it wants to touch on and doesn’t really execute any single one of them in a satisfying manner. The real shame of it is there was a good show in here if they just chose to keep things simple. The best episode by far featured Falcon and the Winter Soldier going on a mission with Baron Zemo. That was it. They went to a shady bar of villains and did some spy stuff. Blew some stuff up. Fought some bad guys. That’s the show! Sticking with a core of that and cutting the 20-something unnecessary side characters would’ve gone a long way.

25. Archer (Season 11 - 2020, FXX) (Last year’s ranking: N/A) - The show returned to its spy satire roots and started clicking again. It’s not at the level of its earlier peak seasons, but it’s still reliable for some good laughs.

24. The Great North (Season 1 - 2021, FOX) (Last year’s ranking: N/A) - Solid animated comedy from two of the writers of Bob’s Burgers. It obviously borrows a lot from the style and tone of that show. I do find The Great North a little fresher. The writing is a little sharper, the stories are a little more interesting (but it also isn’t in its 11th season like Bob’s Burgers so it’s not a wholly fair comparison). It slots in nicely with the other FOX Sunday animation shows.

23. The Simpsons (Season 32 - 2020-2021, FOX) (Last year’s ranking: 37) - I essentially write the same thing every year about The Simpsons. Some highs, some lows. I felt the quality of episodes this season, for whatever reason, was generally a little bit higher than last, thus it’s up here.

22. Duncanville (Season 2 - 2021, FOX) (Last year’s ranking: 34) - It didn’t make the huge leap in quality I was hoping for, but it was consistently above average this season, with a couple of flashes of excellence.

21. Snowpiercer (Season 2 - 2021, TNT) (Last year’s ranking: 14) - Decent second season for this show. Started a bit slowly but picked up in the back half. Sean Bean was a good addition to the cast. If it dropped in quality from season one, it might be because I liked this show as my stupid summer show and season two aired during the winter. High possibility this affected my opinion of it.

20. Chad (Season 1 - 2021, TBS) (Last year’s ranking: N/A) - This isn’t a show for people who can’t handle cringe comedy. It lives there. And if the joke isn’t landing, which sometimes it doesn’t on this show, then you’re just trapped in a scene. But! But the jokes often do land, and when they do, they are very good. It’s also occasionally a touching show. The main character is a little dick, but the show also has a lot of sympathy for him -- he’s the son of immigrants trying so hard to fit in in middle school, to be what he perceives to be normal, in a battle with his own identity, in some of the most difficult years in a teen's life. You hate him but you also feel for him and want him to win. It’s a show with a little more depth than I thought it would have coming in.

19. What If…? (Season 1 - 2021, Disney+) (Last year’s ranking: N/A) - You know how it is with anthology shows: you win some, you lose some. The show is better at coming up with concepts than executing them, I think. Episodes feel a little rushed (generally because they’re trying to tell a movie’s worth -- or sometimes multiple movies’ worth -- of story in half an hour) and sometimes they feel like they just end because they've reached their time limit. Overall though, it’s a fun way to just try different things in the Marvel Universe.

18. Family Guy (Season 19 - 2020-2021, FOX) (Last year’s ranking: 24) - I barely even write blurbs about Family Guy on these lists anymore. It’s very consistent. This is around where it ends up on every list.

17. Alex Rider (Season 1 - 2020, IMDbTV) (Last year’s ranking: N/A) - Fun fact: I watched this show as part of an online paid focus group thing. I’ll just tell you what I told the people who ran the focus group. It’s good. It’s sleek and well-made. It moves just a little too slow for a spy thriller but not to the point of being boring. The show does need a little more life though. Some more quips and liveliness. It’s pretty preposterous on a conceptual level. A teenager is recruited into MI6 to be a spy and save the world. Don’t play that too seriously. Everyone understands this is teenage James Bond, so be that. Lean into it.

16. Prodigal Son (Season 2 - 2021, FOX) (Last year’s ranking: 28) - A fun second and final season for Prodigal Son. They only did 13 episodes for this season so they got to do a little more long term storytelling and fewer cases-of-the-week (this show handles those well anyway so not necessarily a bad thing). The bummer is that the show got canceled without much warning so they didn’t get to wrap things up, leaving on not quite a cliffhanger, but a fairly open-ended note.

15. Legends of Tomorrow (Season 6 - 2021, CW) (Last year’s ranking: 11) - The only show on the CW that seems to be in control of what it’s doing. Not as good a season as last season, but still quality work. Good characters, funny, imaginative.

14. Fargo (Season 4 - 2020, FX) (Last year’s ranking: N/A) - First time on a list for Fargo since the very first TV list I wrote in 2017. An impressive hiatus. I will say, I do think this was the weakest of the four seasons of Fargo. It took way too long to get the train rolling, though when it did, it got much better and delivered four really strong episodes at the end of the season. When it’s on, Fargo can fire on cylinders in storytelling and characters and dialogue that very few shows on TV can match up with. This season’s issue was that it took far too long to be on.

13. 9-1-1: Lone Star (Season 2 - 2021, FOX) (Last year’s ranking: 35) - I've really come to enjoy this show. I think this show found a groove in season two, putting out pretty consistently above-average episodes. It still has a lot of over-the-top silliness, but the characters are strong and most of the plots work.

12. Superstore (Season 6 - 2020-2021, NBC) (Last year’s ranking: 25) - Superstore was one of the few shows to incorporate COVID into their storylines in a natural way and manage to find humor in the situation, so bravo for both attempting that and succeeding at it. Behind the scenes, the show lost their main star, America Ferrera, at the start of the season, which should obviously have been a tough blow to take, but the rest of the ensemble stepped up and the show continued on without missing a beat in quality. Then, after filming nine episodes, they learned that this would be their final season, so the producers transitioned really well into endgame mode, crafting a strong backstretch of episodes to wrap everything up. I would guess with all the behind the scenes stuff and shooting this whole thing in the midst of a pandemic, this was the most difficult of the show’s six seasons to create. The fact that they were able to deliver such a satisfying finale through all of it is very impressive.

11. Fear The Walking Dead (Season 6 - 2020-2021, AMC) (Last year’s ranking: N/A) - I’d say this season was not as strong as last, but I still found it very good, and generally more enjoyable in recent years than the original flavor Walking Dead. A fascinating story choice at the end of the season, setting up an intriguing seventh season.

10. Animal Kingdom (Season 5 - 2021, TNT) (Last year’s ranking: N/A) - Not the strongest season Animal Kingdom has had, but the show is still one of my favorites. This season is sort of about the characters searching for their identity in a new world, which is interesting in its own right but perhaps not as much as pulling off daring heists? I get the sense this season is doing some prep work in anticipation of next season, the show’s last. I’m predicting a very good final season.

9. American Dad! (Season 18 - 2021, TBS) (Last year’s ranking: 23) - A return to form for the show. Much improved over last season for me.

8. Love, Victor (Season 2 - 2021, Hulu) (Last year’s ranking: 5) - Just a minor step down in quality from the first season, I think mostly because the show lost a little focus. Season one was about Victor’s journey to self-acceptance and coming out, season two was more about dealing with the fallout from all that. There wasn’t a super-strong throughline. But still a very sweet show. Funny. Romantic. Very enjoyable.

7. Mr. Mayor (Season 1 - 2021, NBC) (Last year’s ranking: N/A) - This show is going to be good. I’m calling it. It already had a very strong first season with one of my favorite comedic episodes of any show this year in 1.6 “Respect in the Workplace”. Tina Fey and Robert Carlock behind the scenes, a very good cast in front of the camera, this show is set up to become one of my favorites.

6. Mythic Quest (Season 2 - 2021, Apple TV+) (Last year’s ranking: N/A) - Mythic Quest is a fascinating show. For 90% of its episodes, it’s just a very good workplace comedy. And then, every now and then, it just uncorks a truly fantastic standalone episode. Season one did this with episode 1.5 “A Dark Quiet Death”. The show also released a quarantine episode called, appropriately, “Quarantine” that was probably my favorite COVID-related TV episode, one that should serve as a nice time capsule for this period at some point down the road. Season two was an improvement in quality overall from season one, and it also featured a tremendous two-part standalone story (episodes 2.6 “Backstory!” and 2.7 “Peter”). It’s a funny show with good characters and a surprising amount of heart.

5. The Other Two (Season 2 - 2021, HBO Max) (Last year’s ranking: N/A) - Great, great satire of the entertainment industry. Excellent characters. Fantastic writing. Often hilarious, but it also has some depth to it when it comes to matters surrounding the core family.

4. Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Season 8 - 2021, NBC) (Last year’s ranking: 7) - It’s only appropriate that this show ends up here in its final season. I once wrote about this show that I was never excited to see it pop up in my DVR, despite really enjoying it when I actually got around to watching the individual episodes. This final season was essentially a bunch of very special episodes. The show felt it was obligated to tackle all kinds of important real world topics instead of just being a goofy sitcom. It didn’t really work and it made me once again unenthused about starting up an episode. And yet, the show’s actually plotting within episodes and joke-writing ability is so incredibly strong that once I started the episode, I found myself really, really enjoying it as always. The series finale is a great example. Super obvious character arcs, things you saw telegraphed from basically the beginning of the season, and yet, the episode was still pitch perfect. Hilarious and moving and exactly how you'd hope for a show to wrap up. Stuck the landing brilliantly. This was a show that always succeeded in spite of itself. In spite of its premise and its core identity. It succeeded because it was always one of the sharpest written shows on television. Its final season was no different.

3. WandaVision (Season 1 - 2021, Disney+) (Last year’s ranking: N/A) - I really enjoyed the early episodes of this show, where they went to great lengths to capture the setting and feel of various past eras of television. They did an incredible job with the sets and costumes, and beyond that, even the writing was very good at aping the styles of the eras being portrayed. But as much as I enjoyed the early episodes, I really loved when the show took a turn and slowly unfolded into a piece about one character’s loss and grief. A tremendous second gear. A fantastic show overall.

2. The Mandalorian (Season 2 - 2020, Disney+) (Last year’s ranking: 2) - A tremendously fun show. Didn’t lose a step from season one.

1. Loki (Season 1 - 2021, Disney+) (Last year’s ranking: N/A) - Loved this show. Not just from a storytelling perspective. On that alone, it’s an excellent show. Some fun mystery stuff, some mind-bending stuff, clever, funny writing, great characters, solid drama. Beyond that though, I was just loving everything I was seeing and hearing on screen. The sets -- everything from the TVA headquarters to alien planets -- look amazing. The costumes are great. The music is superb. The show just had everything firing on all cylinders. It was brilliantly done.

So there we have it. Like I mentioned, some of these shows are still going on and have a few episodes left in their seasons. I might come back and do some light editing on this list if any of those shows do something truly surprising in a good or bad way in those final episodes but the likelihood is they probably won’t do enough to wildly change my opinion of them.

Or, if you’re reading this in the future, maybe I’ve already done that and that adjusted list is the list you’re looking at!

Wow.

Mind. Blown.

- - - - -

Read More:

Annual Lists of TV Shows I Saw the Past Year

[mittensmorgul]

More sheep and goats

I’ve been threatening to write long meta on 13.02, but there’s so much visual symbolism to parse out and it is so early in the season, so while there’s a barrage of imagery to sift through, it’s still a bit early to know what sort of weight to attribute to them, but a few of these things are also carryovers from s12. As such, Instead of writing that long meta, I’m gonna use this post as a pinboard of sorts and make some notes for future consideration.

(all screencaps from HotN)

We’ve already seen some hints (from bts and promo photos) that there’s a sort of cowboy/wild west theme running through at least a few of early season episodes, and that’s already become apparent between Dean’s Chuck Wagon Donuts and coffee, and the sign for the hotel:

Black Hat, with a side of glowing spur (which also resembles all the starburst lights Jerry Wanek is so enamored with). Even without knowing there’s an attached bar called the Black Spur yet, we’re already being subtly reminded of 10.01 and Dean’s “howling at the moon” with Crowley at another bar/motel called the Black Spur here. From 10.01, Black Spur and attendant blonde waitress/bartender that Dean had a relationship with (in a room with ugly yellow diamond-patterned lights in our prison imagery recap, while spending most of his time getting blazingly drunk and singing terrible karaoke and avoiding any sort of responsibility at all, since he was a demon and all that... but point being that Dean was with Anne Marie because she was there, and the alcohol was there, so he slept with her and drank and did whatever he wanted because he could):

And then the current Black Spur Bar, with attendant blonde waitress/bartender (who unbeknownst to Dean had been murdered and replaced by a yellow-eyed demon, but who Dean was as honest as he could be with, because he didn’t have any reason to lie. He also turned down her offer for another drink. Just because the alcohol was there and the waitress was there, didn’t mean he would just take them like he had in the past... a lot of this scene was a complete subversion of his Summer of Love...)

We even have a similar shot of her in profile as they have similar conversations from opposite ends of the line... One about abusive relationships, and the other about failing to live up to the expectations of an absent/abusive father.

Which brings me to the sign behind waitress!Asmodeus here:

While Dean had come to the bar to get a little reprieve from the horror of the last three days, he had ONE (1) drink, and not diving head first into a bottle, while looking through something on his phone in a rather contemplative and quiet fashion. It made me wonder if the place had reminded him of Crowley (and possibly their flickr albums), but also of Cas (who he’s been shown repeatedly to be in hardcore grieving mode over, and maybe scrolling through all the texting and emoticons Cas exchanged with him over the last few years). Whatever he’d been doing, it was clear he was looking for a little quiet space to collect his thoughts.

He’s interrupted by Asmodeus, who was fishing for information by doing what any bartender in an otherwise empty bar would do-- strike up a conversation with the only patron in the bar. I’ve read some pretty far-fetched theories that Dean should’ve been on his guard and suspicious of the woman, and that he was dumb for being so open and honest with her, and that it’s a definite sign that Dean is In A Bad Place™ and dangerously off the rails... and no? Just because he had a “bad feeling” about stopping at the motel/bar to begin with? (which they only apparently did because, as Sam said, Dean had been hallucinating sheep on the road... which actually reminded me of Cas’s dilemma over falling asleep in 9.03 when it was suggested that he count sheep, resulting in his perplexed wondering about what sheep...)

I’ve seen it suggested that the fact he didn’t immediately notice the waitress was actually Asmodeus was a sign that his “spidey senses” had failed, as a direct result of his current nihilistic mood. Even though it isn’t even until the following morning that they have any reason to suspect demonic involvement at all. They’d warded their rooms against angels, so Dean didn’t fear angels would be able to get to them for the time being. As far as Dean knows, he’s covered his bases.

Proof that his spidey senses (and self-preservation instinct) are still in full effect is his fight with the demon in his room the next morning. Even with his back turned, he knows there’s something behind him and he reacts appropriately. While talking with what he had no reason to believe was anything other than a human woman just trying to make polite conversation, he simply tried to do the same in return.

Asmodeus (walking around collecting empty beer bottles): Get you another? Dean (sitting at the bar with an undrunk shot of whiskey at his elbow, focused on his phone): Yeah, sure. Asmodeus: What the hell, you’re not driving, right? J.. I seen ya at the hotel. Passing through with, what? Your buddies? Dean (from a different angle, where the yellow and blue glowing Kingdom beer sign is now literally perched on his shoulder): Ah, that’s my brother, and... some messed up kid. Asmodeus: Aw, kid’s messed up? Dean: Yeah, issues with his dad. Asmodeus: The older fella? Dean: No, that’s uh, Donatello... uh, he’s a... guy we work with. Asmodeus: I hated my old man. I ran away myself. See, my mom would never stick up for me, but... (sighs) you know kids. No matter what, they still want the old man’s approval. Well, that’s how it was for me...  Dean: Yeah, That’s... that’s how it was with me, too. Asmodeus: I’m talking your ear off. I’ll-- I’ll grab you that drink. Dean: You know what? I’m good. Uh, I’m gonna take a walk. (he finally drinks his original drink and leaves)

NOTHING HE SAID IN THIS CONVERSATION WAS DANGEROUS OR LED TO ASMODEUS TAKING JACK. Nothing he said here was particularly secret info, and he obscured the actual truth of who the people he was with really were. He didn’t go announcing the kid’s father was Lucifer or that Donatello was a soulless former prophet of Chuck... I mean, this woman was trying to be nice to Dean, he was just trying to be left alone for a few minutes and still engaged in polite conversation that she essentially pushed on him, and excused himself after a reasonably polite amount of time. Notice through the entire conversation he continues looking down at his phone, signalling that he’s not really interested in conversation, yet the woman persists. If she’s noticing things happening at the motel enough to have noticed Dean’s associates, then he literally does need to give her some sort of reasonable story lest she get suspicious of him... That’s literally part of how Sam and Dean have always tried to blend into the background and not get noticed.

He was actually laying down what seemed like a reasonable cover story along the lines of reasonable cover stories they’ve always used in the past when locals got a bit overly-friendly or nosy about their business.

I did, however, find it interesting that after the establishing shot of the bar, the next shot we get is a wide shot in which the Fast Jack Ale sign is visible again, but is almost immediately obscured by this post beside Dean:

It’s on screen so quickly that there isn’t even a cap of it on HotN., but you can see it glowing a little bit from behind that post... I find it an interesting justaposition for an earlier shot, where Dean, Sam, and Jack first enter the hotel room. I’ve also seen a gif of this going around saying that Jack was the only one “in the light” in this shot:

Which is true in one sense, because you can barely see Sam in the shadows at the right, while Dean’s lit with red prison bar imagery... but at least he’s standing NEXT to a lamp. The source of light making Jack so bright isn’t visible to us, but the brightest light source in the room (that we can see, illuminating the bright blue wall over Jack’s shoulder in that first cap), Jack walks right to the center of the room and physically blots that light out with his body.

Considering the Fast Jack Ale light gets the same treatment by a big wooden post Dean’s leaning against in the bar scene, I find it interesting enough to point out here.

Okay, back to the shot of Dean in the bar, huddled around his phone... while the Fast Jack sign’s obscured behind him and all we see is the purple-to-pink glow above him (hello bi flag lighting). Thing is, as soon as Dean’s attention is drawn away from his phone, he’s reframed not against the bisexual colors, but with something protective hovering above his shoulder-- the Kingdom Beer sign most commonly associated with Cas.

Who said Cas wasn’t there to be the angel on Dean’s shoulder? Because that’s exactly what this shot’s implying throughout his entire conversation with Waitressmodeus. Short aside here to reiterate the comment I made last week about Jack walking around in the altogether looking for his “Father.” People thought I was joking when I suggested he hadn’t been talking to the pirate, but to the parrot on the pirate’s shoulder. I really wasn’t joking. For now, I’m taking this shot ^^ as proof that Jack was talking to the parrot.

It’s just like the shorts thing... Just because Cas said once, years ago, that he’s not there to perch on anyone’s shoulder... it’s kinda been his whole shtick for the last 10 years so...

Back to the point of this post... (sorry, as per usual, there will probably be more tangents I’ll run down... it’s because I have no other choice...)

Aside from the Kingdom, the obscured Fast Jack, and the 3 Sheeps, the only other glowing signs in this place are these:

The red and yellow Tom’s Tequila sign featured prominently in 11.21 (with very long meta attached here and here and here), but again it’s the red and yellow warning colors in this shot to counteract the blue and yellow heaven-coded Schultz sign (i.e. DEAAAAATH by duty). Note there’s no El Sol going on here, because Dean has no idea that the waitress isn’t anyone other than she appears to be. But the Tequila sign is sort of pointing to a bait-and-switch...

There’s also one of those infamous “caged halo” lights we so often associate with Cas on the ceiling behind Dean in this shot, but notice it’s switched off right now...

Also in the very near foreground of this shot, it’s hard to make out but it looks like two glowing beer taps, the handles of which are pink and blue. Just saying...

And again detouring back around to the original reason I starting putting all these images together... 

The 3 Sheeps meta from 12.16 and 12.18. 

We wrote a lot about different bible verses having to do with sheep and goats, including the passages from Luke where Jesus tells the parable of the prodigal son, which is the third version of the sheep/goats parable that he relates.

Sheep are mentioned several times in the Song of Solomon, as well. Throughout the bible people have been compared to sheep, flocks, etc. with the Lord as our shepherd. There’s no shortage of possible metaphorical comparisons to sheep imagery in the bible. But since we were specifically shown the Song of Solomon in this episode, I think that’s likely the source of comparison relevant to this particular episode.

But we also know that Jack himself is serving as a mirror for all three members of TFW. The Rule Of Three is applying in all sorts of different contexts through this one sign. :)

So there you go. I probably should’ve titled this Mittens Rambles On Pointlessly While Gesturing Wildly At Seemingly Random Stuff But I Swear All Of It ///Means Something///. None of this currently Means Anything yet, though. I’m just beginning to pin random stuff to my cork board. I haven’t even got out the red twine yet. I just wanted all of this potentially future relevant stuff in one place for ease of future pointing and screaming and red twine connect-the-dots. :P