#my dude hurts enough in the fucking books like

[douceurrrr]

𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 | 𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐲

— you and camp counselor!ethan gets lost in the woods.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | kissing, lil rough, doggy, fucked over table, begging, ethan’s pull out game being strong, oral (f), enemies to lovers

audio link

the sounds of cricket and owls fills your ear as you and ethan walk around the wood, branches cracking with each step. “I’m pretty sure we’re going in circles.” ethan huffed. “why do you say that?” you asked, following close behind him. “uh because we passed this tree like three time already.” he replied with an attitude.

you had first met ethan when you were interviewing for the open camp counselor position, you hadn’t got accepted to any colleges after high school and you needed a job so a camp counselor was like your last resort. ethan was smart enough for college but needed a job to pay for books and stuff. at first ethan wasn’t all that bad but he slowly became a dick.

“I thought you said you ‘knew’ where we were going.” he said with air quotes, glancing angrily at you. “I know where we’re going… maybe.” you told him with a nervous smile. “maybe? dude we’re lost and it’s your fault.” ethan says, shaking his head in disbelief. “oh my god, calm you whiny ass down.” you said making him even more angry. “oh I’m sorry your highness but do you know where the fuck we are right now?” he says with sarcasm. i mean at least you guys had flashlights.

“from now on we listen to me, not your shitty directional skills.” you fought the urge to beat his ass right then and there. “who pissed in your cereal this morning?” you said, rolling your eyes. ethan didn’t reply and just kept walking. “answer me, landry. what the fuck is your problem.” you said, pushing his shoulder. ethan sharply turned around. “my problem is obviously you, ever since I started working here you’ve been giving me shit for no reason.” ethan says and started walking again.

you shook your head. “no I haven’t.” you replied, furrowing your eyebrows. “ouu denial, I love it.” he says, sarcastically. “oh fuck off, landry.” ethan chuckled in reply making you blood boil. “you seriously have a complaining problem.” you mumbled but he obviously heard you. “I’ll complain if I want to, it’s better than hearing you talk.” he replied. you scoffed and kept walking.

“whatever, are we even going the right way dickface?” you asked with a smug look on your face. ethan just pointed somewhere so you pointed your flashlight to where he pointed to reveal a sign saying camping grounds

with a arrow pointing to the right. “trust me now?” ethan says, not earning a reply from you, you began walking in front of him. “holy shit.” ethan gasped, looking at your leg. “ethan don’t fuck with me right now.” you said, standing still in fear. “you have a medium sized cut on the back of your leg.” ethan told you. you turn your body to see behind you leg and lord behold there was blood running down your leg and onto your sock. “you must’ve done that when we went through the bushes, how did you not feel that?” he says, looking closely at the cut.

suddenly Ethan starts to walk towards you with his arms out. “whoa what are you doing.” you say, stepping back from him. “come on, I’ll carry you to the camping grounds and get my first aid kit.” he says, walking towards you again only for you to back up again. “don’t put your filthy hands on me, landry.” you warned knowing damn well you wanted the opposite. “stop being a brat and come on.” he huffed in annoyance but you finally gave in, letting him pick you up in bridal style and carry you towards the camp.

-

once he reached the camping grounds with you in his arms, he walks into the wooden room and sits you down on a table with your flashlight beside you. “I’ll go get the first aid kit.” ethan says before walking away into another little room. when he came back, he had the kit in his hand. he opened it, taking out two alcohol pads and a bandage. “this is gonna hurt.” he muttered as he opened a alcohol pad.

“fuck.” you hissed, grabbing ethan’s hand in reflex as ethan placed the alcohol pad on your wound. once ethan was done cleaning the wound he placed a bandage on it. once he looked up at you to see you looking at him with smug look. “what? you want me to kiss your boo boo?” he cooed, teasingly. ethan didn’t earn a reply from you so he leaned down and kissed your leg making you hiss. “you kissed it too hard landry.” you complained. even if you “hated” ethan, the kiss made your heart flutter a bit lot.

“thanks.” you said, lowy. ethan looked at you teasingly with his hand behind his ear, “what? say that again.” he says, acting like he couldn’t hear you. you rolled your eyes before speaking again, “I said thank you, landry.” you huffed.

ethan smiled, knowing he had won. “no problem, I told you I can be nice.” he chuckled.

you scoffed. “could’ve fooled me.” you grinned. ethan then looks down at his hand, noticing you still holding it. “ah you’re still holding my hand.” he says shyly. you muttered a sorry and looked down at your lap. “no it’s okay.” ethan whispered as he got closer to you. you didn’t noticed how close he was until you lifted your head back up to look at him, you could feel his breathing on you face. “look I’m sorry for being a asshole.” he look genuine and apologetic, you couldn’t be mad at that. “it’s okay, I was a bit of an asshole too.” you replied. ethan’s face started to get hot at the closeness between you two. “i-i don’t think I’ve ever been this close to you.” ethan whispered.

you couldn’t take it anymore and leaned forward to capture his lips on your. ethan’s hand comes up to rest on you waist as your hand come up to his hair, raking through it. “fuck.” ethan groaned when he pulls away. “since day one I’ve had a crush on you.” he confesses and you look at him surprisingly.

“I’ve tried to hide it but I can’t get enough of you.” he didn’t even give you time to respond when he smashes his lips against yours with a moan. he then pulls away again to say something else, “and I’m sorry about that time with the volleyball and I’m also sorry about the time I-”

“- just kiss me, landry.” you cut him off with a lustful kiss. you run your fingers through his hair, earning the sinful sounds from him. while you were in the kiss, you trail your other hand to the flashlights that was next you and turned them off so no one could see you two were in there. the kiss started to get steamy as ethan started touching you more. “mm wait ethan, m’all sweaty.” you whined as ethan started to kiss down your neck. “I don’t care.” he says into your neck.

after a little while, you push him back to discard your shirt. “cute bra, but we won’t be needing it.” ethan says. you then unclip the back of your bra, throwing it somewhere in the room. “there, happy?” you smirked at the look on ethan’s face, he looked like a kid in a candy store. “very.” he says before bringing his hands to your tits, massaging them. your head threw back in ecstasy. he then decided to take it up a notch and started sucking on your nipples, earning more sounds from you.

“fuck landry, i guess you could do more things with that mouth than talk sh-” he cuts you off, biting down in your nipple which made you squeal. “take your shorts off, y/n.” he says seriously. you were amused by his tone. “hmm no.” you smirked. ethan scoffed, knowing what you wanted. “you’re really going to make me beg?” you nodded with a smile.

“please y/n, please take off your shorts.” you let out an satisfied hum, lifting your hips to take off your shorts. ethan sucked in his breath when he saw your black lacy underwear. “take that off too.” he groaned when you hooked your finger under the band, pulling them down. ethan then pulls your legs apart to rest onto the table. you gasp when you feel his tongue run across your slit, sliding the flat of it over your clit before swirling around it. you try to do something with your thighs but he has you pinned.

“fucking hell, landry.” you whisper, not wanting to be too loud. your head shoots back as the coil in your stomach starts to get intense. you place your fingers through ethan’s hair, pulling it before he moans into your cunt. he pays extra attention to your clit, sucking and swirling on it. ethan then pulls away, not taking it anymore. “shit bend over.” ethan whines. you do what he says, hoping off the table and bending over it. you hear a buckle rattling as ethan takes off the dumb khakis they made the boys wear. you felt the head of his cock slip through you slit and into your cunt, stretching you out.

“shit landry, you never gave off big dick vibes but i stand corrected.” you moaned as ethan started thrusting at a good pace. he hiked your right leg on the table, making him go deeper. the coil in your stomach started to progressively increase as ethan’s speed increased. “shit.” he grit, clawing at your hips. ethan’s head leaned back with his eyes closed, he was in heaven. “fuck landry, m’gonna cum.” you warned before he increased his thrust, helping you get there. with a couple of fuckfuckfuck’s you came around him, breathing heavily. ethan was right behind you, thrusting like his life depended on it. “holy fuck.” he pulls out, cumming all over your back.

ethan helped you get off the table and kisses you, passionately. “maybe we should sneak out often and have some fun.” you smirked at him, batting your eyelashes. as ethan gets his clothes back on he replies with a nods then leaves to find something to clean the cum off your back.

from then on, you stopped hating him.

[makncheese12]

Top Shelf

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Jenna Ortega x fem!reader

Masterlist

Summary: being the kid of a well-known book store owner was easy, so was running into famous people. But being book smart doesn’t make everyone people smart.

Warnings: my writing, language(bad words😯), my attempt at being funny, mention of gun shots and head shots, mentions of my favorite book(literally love Ruta Sepetys sm omg.

A/N: part 2? I am going to make you all suffer through the most oblivious slow burn. R if going to be so dumb/oblivious it’ll hurt you all🫶🏻

Word count - 3.6k

Credits: @novmoth (my friend from school who feeds into my delusions and gives me more ideas for this story🫶🏻)

(bare with me English is not my first language🥲 I’m getting help from my friend to edit it)

You were born to it.

The books. The films. The music and video games.

It was your life, literally. With your parents being owners of the infamous establishment called ‘top shelf’, you had no choice but to.

And you wouldn’t ever change.

Books upon books, movie after movie, games old and new and music that could last you weeks. Who would want to change such a life?

Your father was the first to start it.

He was poor man in Washington but had just enough money to buy it from the man who owned the small movie shop before he retired. He slowly started added book shelves and video games to the mix. Getting few customers but enough to survive day to day during the time of his early years

Your mother was a wealthy run away. Wanting something different and new in her life when she met your father. The man was playing on his game boy behind the counter before he saw her.

The poor boy and his run away wife, a classic really.

The rest after that is history.

As soon as they found out your mother was pregnant with you, they used the rest of her money they saved and went to New York where they bought the huge abandoned apartment complex.

They broke all the insides down and built what you now know as your second home. Hundreds of video games, films and music in one section and thousands of books in another.

Thus, Top Shelf was born only two weeks after you.

You met many friends there in the comfort section where students and business people worked as you all goofed off.

Your had also met your small friend group during your younger years, the four of you all never letting your father have the peace he wanted and dragging him all over New York.

With the thousands of books and hundreds of video games and films your parents sold, you had money. Lots of it.

But your mother made sure you never let that get the best of you, never. It went against everything she went for when she ran away.

She would make sure you would work for and earn everything you got, always.

She never let you have too much online activity, in case her family found you and made sure you were both street smart and book smart.

Your neighbors made sure you were street smart more than anything but you still gave her credit for trying.

Though, the book store was beautiful in every season. Winter was a favorite and when it was busiest. It was too your favorite.

Your father lighting the public fire place, your mother setting soft seasonal music, hell even the cheesy Christmas cartoons on the TV’s set the mood for the perfect bookstore vibe.

The lights dim just enough to where it almost felt like dark academy yet the plants that grew down the upstairs railing made the entire place feel more alive.

————

“Bullshit!” You yell out as you throw your head back onto the head rest of your chair, groaning loudly as the photo sound of your death snapped in your ears.

“Man, he’s fucking using cheats!” Dru calls out through the mic before his name pops up above to yours in dark red on the screen as you respawn.

“Of course he is, he’s a pussy.” Mj says, as her name, too, pops up on the screen.

“Oh come on, guys!” Lyle says through his staticky mic. “You all just suck.” He laughs

“Now I know your cheating, dude. Your mic is acting up again, just like last time!” Dru says, the sound of his voice booming louder than needed and you roll my eyes.

“DD, just because you like to replay games without using cheats doesn’t mean the rest of us do.” Lyle says in a matter-of-fact tone.

“It’s multiplayer, stupid! It’s meant to be fair for everyone!” Dru says making you snort. “Says the guy who chases around little kids and steals their horses making them cry.” Mj says making Dru blow into his mic making loud, unnecessary noises.

“Quit that!” You say taking one head phone off your ear. “Tsk tsk tsk,” Lyle starts. “Such a sore loser.”

“I’ll show you sore loser, get on Elden ring and we’ll test your irritation.” Dru says, mic now muffled by his own spit.

“Your tank build is not enough to stop me, comet azur will always save the day.” He says in a sing-song voice.

“And you call me a try hard, yet you’re the one always using a broken spell.” Dru complains. “Theres nothing I have to try hard at when I can just hold a simple button.” The sound of Dru’s groans become louder as his spit clears out from his Mic. “Same thing!”

You laugh once again before picking up your phone and looking at the time.

“Shit!” Your eyes go wide at the sight, 8:48 AM.

You quickly throw the head set off and push yourself out of the chair, opening your closet grabbing a quick pair of jeans and a hoodie before rushing to put it all on.

Your cat skids across the floor, startled by your sudden movements before a crashing in the your pile of books and out the door.

“Shit, shit, shit,” you mumble as you jump up and down to put on your shoes, failing at not falling and race toward the door. “Sorry!” You call to your cat who yells at you next to his food bowl.

You grab your keys and rush out the door before slamming it shut and locking it.

“Ay, y/n!” Your neighbor, Rosa, shouts from beside her door. “Quiet will you! I just put Nona to sleep!” She yells raising her news paper tapping your head with it.

“Sorry! sorry, Señora Rosa.” You whisper yell as you try to push her weaponized hand away. “I’m just a little late.”

“And I just got a moment of peace! Quiet!” She says giving you one last wack making you try and shrink away from her as you rush toward the stairs.

“You got your pepper spray, right?” She calls and you raise your key chain to show her the attached small can. “¡Buena niña!”

You rush down the stairs and push passed the glass door, almost slipping on the ice before running down the street.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket making you quickly take it out.

“Hello?” You ask without knowing who it was.

“Arthur Morgan would be very disappointed at your sudden disappearance from an important mission.” Lyle says before sighing.

“It’s multiplayer, there are no main missions.” You say, trying to avoid the ice on the ground before stopping at the red hand across the street. “Plus, we were in the middle of four way 1v1. He’d be more upset that we were going against each other.”

“Loyalty is everything in such a game,” he says, sarcasm in his voice and you imagine him shaking his head. “Of course he would be upset at my bullet in DD’s head.”

“Why’d you call me exactly?” You ask watching the hand turn into a green man walking before taking off again.

“Well, you just yelled ‘shit!’ Before disappearing on us, had to make sure someone didn’t break in and kill you.” He replies casually as if he knew that weren’t the case. “But after hearing you continue on your ‘shit’ rant and the door slam I figured it was okay, just had to call and make sure, y’know?”

“Ever heard of a text, loser?” You ask, barley missing a man walking and looking down at his phone. “Gross,” he says before making a gagging noise. “why waste such time typing when I can simply just hit one button?”

“You’re so lazy.” You laugh out loud as you run across another street. “Work smarter not harder, Y/N. You should know this with that big brain of yours.”

“What if I want to work both smarter and harder?” You ask, running up to the glass window to see the books lined up. “Well, then your just weird.” You roll your eyes.

“Just kidding. I guess you can do both, I just personally prefer the alternative.” He says as the sound of guns shooting fills the phone. “Yeah, also sorry about leaving.” You say pushing into the store being greeting with the familiar smell of books and the warm smile of my mother.

“I forgot I had to get ready for work.”

“You’re at top shelf?” He ask and you reply with a ‘mhm’. “I might stop by later to say hello actually, I need a new game anyway.” He laughs as the sound of Dru yelling in the back ground becomes more prominent.

“Sounds good, see you loser” You say as you take your sweat shirt off, leaving you in your tank top you hand before leaving. “Later,” you hear him say before hanging up.

“Good morning,” you hear your mother say as you pull the staff sweat shirt over your head and pull up your sleeves. “Mornin’,” you reply before kissing her cheek.

“Wheres dad?” You ask looking around before your eyes setting on the woman stack a pile of books into one pile.

“He’s going to be out of town for a few days,” she says carrying the pile to the check back station. “A vacation, I insisted as I continue your training.” She says making you smile.

“We both know he needs it, he’s getting older.” She says and your smile fades as you nod. “So are you.” You mumble and she, too, nods.

“You know him getting old is different from me getting old.” She states, sighing quietly.

“What’s todays task?” You ask, quickly changing the subject at the sight of her sad frown. She looks at you for a moment before smiling once again.

She moves to storage closet and unlocks it, allowing you to see the boxes upon boxes along with stacks of different other things.

“To be a good store owner, you have to know your customers.” She says returning with a large box that you quickly take from her.

“Just put it on that table — and to know your customers, you must socialize and help them throughout the store.” She finishes as you take the box to the table noticing the label romance written across it.

“That also means having to work while helping the customers, so you’ll be on stock duty as well.” She says with a smile.

Yes.

You mentally say to yourself. Stock duty required work of you finding the places of different books, movies and games which also meant finding new things you didn’t know about before.

“One more thing,” you mother says as she walks behind the counter to finish opening up the store. “No head phones.” Your eyes go wide.

“But ma!” You call out to the lady who switches the sign from closed to open. “What else am I supposed to do when I stock!” You call, holding onto the white cords and swinging them around.

“Help the customers and socialize.” She laughs out making you frown. “I should call CPS.” You mumble carrying the box to the sorted area before hearing the woman’s laugh.

“Sure, call ahead but don’t be disappointed when they decline a twenty year old.”

You roll your eyes before continuing down the aisle.

“And after you sort those, get the others out of the storage closet!” You huff quietly as you glance back with a small playful glare on your face.

“If I wanted to work out, I would have gone to the gym.” You say and she rolls her eyes. “You’ll be just as sore in the morning, trust me.”

————

Hours hand passed, since you last seen the romance box having moved on to the horror section of the films.

You search through their placement areas, looking at all the old cinematic master pieces, the many Dracula films placed neatly next to each other, in order of both year and name.

Horror was one of the favorites when coming here, your father being a collected through his years he had many people couldn’t get their hands on.

Sure you could watch it online now but where’s the fun in that when you have a real copy with the static noises and written voices on screen. Some people still had some class left in them.

You hear a book hit the floor making the library echo as heads turned toward the cause of the sudden interruption of their silence.

“Shit—” You hear someone say quietly, making you roll your eyes as you place the rest of the CD’s in their rightful places before making your way toward the aisle the noise came from.

You subtly make your way toward the aisle while acting like your checking the books before taking a peek around the corner.

You see a rather short girl — shorter than the third shelf — craning her neck to look up at all the books in front of her.

Just to your luck, your mother placed a box for that genre next to the end of the shelf and you picked it up.

You make your way down the aisle and set the box toward the middle before looking up the girl who was already staring, and boy was she something.

Freckles littered across her tan skin, strands of her short hair fell from her half up half down style, her eyes — damn her eyes — they were the prettiest brown you’ve ever seen.

You smile lightly before picking up the first book and reading both the authors name and the title while trying to slow down your racing heart.

Who was this girl? Matter of fact, what was she? She wasn’t a regular, that’s for sure but you always get random people coming in so it didn’t exactly matter.

After putting away a few books, you glance up to see the girl a few feet away and on her tippy toes, reaching for a book on the fifth or sixth shelf.

You snorted quietly catching the girls attention making you quickly look away to keep yourself from laughing.

“You think this is funny?” She asks and you begin shaking in quiet laughter.

After a few moments, you compose yourself and stand shaking your head.

“No, not at all. Would you like some help?” You ask taking step toward her. She narrows her eyes. “Are you making fun of me right now?” She asks, both amusement and annoyance in her voice.

“Why would I do that? It’s poor customer service.” You say with a smile before watching her own smile grow.

“It’s poor customer service to laugh at a customer.” She mumbles before stepping back. “Please.” You walk up and grab the book.

“Look how easy that was.” She says, taking the book you held out for her. “Being six-foot-two does have its perks.” She says looking over the back of the book.

You roll your eyes but your smile only grows. Looking down at the book you nod and raise your eye brows, “that’s a good one, read it a few years back.” You say, making your way back to box of books.

“I’d hope so, for all the work I had to do to try and get it.” She mumbles making you smile and shake your head. “Anything else good?” She asks, looking down to you.

“You’re asking me if there’s anything else good in here when there’s just by the look of it thousands of books here?” You ask, smirking at her when she rubs the back of her neck.

“Yes, there is, I’ve read more than I can count. My recommendation board is up by the front desk if you want to check it out.” You say before placing crave by Tracy Wolff into the slot.

“You must have come here a lot before working then? If you’ve read so many books from here.” She asks, following hot on your trail with the book tucked between her arm. “Oh, for sure,” you say nodding. “The owners and I are real close, we were together a whole nine months before I was born.”

Her eyes widen slightly at the information. “You’re parents own this place?” She asks, gesturing to the entire book store and you nod, smiling.

It felt like you were a teenage boy, flaunting his muscles to a girl he finds attractive.

“Wow,” she says looking around once again. Book still tucked tightly into her arm as she did so. “Just wow. Your parents have taste.”

“More like their people pleasers.” You say shaking your head. The real other reason why horror is so popular in the movie section is because of their request.

Every week they check their request list and buy everything people ask for. New books, new movies, new music and games, there’s always something new. You’re surprised there’s still room, then again the place would be as big you supposed.

“They like having their customers choice their number one priority. It’s good business.” You say looking up to the girl who had a look of wonder in her eyes as she stared down at you but there was also something else. Something you couldn’t quite place.

She stares at you for another moment before speaking again, “do you.. know who I am?” She asks and your furrow your eye brows in question.

“Should I?” You ask tilting your head. She stares for another moment again, eyes scanning your face and it’s features as if searching for something.

Her smile then grows, as she shakes her head. “You shouldn’t, or rather shouldn’t have to. It’s just a surprise.” She says, tucking her hair behind her ear.

You knit your eye brows together in confusion.

She walks out of the aisle and you catch the light smile on her face as she does.

What the hell? You wonder to yourself as you place the last few books away.

You were pretty sure that was the last section, unless your mother put out some more stuff you didn’t notice. You’d just check out the to-do list.

Your mother and father always had one for both you and their own sake. Adding things so no one would forget.

As you made your way to check out, you see the girl walking in the general distraction as well.

“All set?” You ask, placing the box inside the others, moving past the small door attached to the low counter.

“Yep,” she says once again staring at you.

You take the book you got for her earlier along with another you recognize almost immediately. “Between shades of gray?” You ask, looking at her as if she were serious.

“Your description seemed trust worthy enough to make me interested.” You glance over to see your board clearly flipped through before nodding.

You scan both books. “Careful, it’s sad, dark and traumatic. It’s one of my favorites though.” You say looking up at her, she pauses for a moment, staring at you once again and just smiles and shakes her head.

“I think I can deal with a few of those.”

“Bartering or buying?” You ask. “Bartering,” she replies and you nod. “Good, I need to get a review on what you think.” You say with a smirk and you see a glint of something in her eyes.

“Name?” You ask and she looks at you a little confused. “We have to know whose using our books, how else do you think we send emails threatening to charge or get them back?” You snort.

“Oh, your totally right.” she says quietly before taking out her credit card.

“Jenna Ortega..” she says and you nod, typing in the name before reaching for the credit. Her grip on the card tightens at your lack of response.

You pull the card gently but her grip is to hard for you to take.

“Can I… get the card?” You ask, looking around slightly uncomfortably with the stone like stare she was giving you.

“Are you sure you don’t know who I am?” She asks letting go allowing you to swipe the card.

“Again, should I?”

You both stare at each other, both confused and entrapped by the other.

You find is strange how she thinks you know who she is or why you don’t know her.

Maybe she was some big deal somewhere off and you still have yet to hear about her.

Her name did ring a bell but you weren’t sure. Was she a person you knew from your child hood? An old friend trying to reconnect? Maybe some relative on your moms sent by the older ones to investigate if it was really you.

“Miss Ortega?” You’re both broken out of your thoughts as two large men stand behind her. “Time to go.” he says gesturing to a few people who were standing and staring in your general direction.

One grabs the bag off the counter before quickly walking towards the door.

“Looks like I gotta go,” she says, smile now suddenly shy with others watching. “Don’t worry, I’ll return your book Y/N.” She says before walking toward the door, one of the men right behind her.

“Yeah, you bet-“ you pause after the the realization hits you. “Wait, how’d you-?” You begin to ask before watching her gesture to her chest.

You knit your eyebrows together, you look down to see the name tag right under the library symbol.

She was strange.. cute.. but strange

Read next sort here!

A/N : Some parts once again rushed🧍🏽‍♀️This is just an introduction I suppose, the details will get better I tried my hardest🥲

[atalana]

so i finally got the chance to read the book of bill! and man those journal 3 pages, i could write a million essays on those, but the principle one that i can't get out my head is the new insight on ford's whole fucked up paradigm of what love is

like, neither of the stan twins really know how to experience unconditional love, because they never really had it. their dad was constantly comparing the two of them and really just stamping down stanley's self worth at any given moment. and even for ford who was praised, he's not an idiot, he saw how stan got treated all the time, and their dad was very explicit as to why. ford's praise and attention hinged on him being the family genius who could make them all a lot of money, and he knew very well if he failed to live up to that, he would also lose his father's love

and you see this in stan in his desperate need for everyone to like him, but also how he doesn't really believe anyone ever truly could love him, so whenever he gets the chance with anyone he clings onto that relationship as tight as he can, terrified it's going to disappear at any second

ford, meanwhile. the more direct threat to him was the bullies and the people that made him feel lesser for being abnormal. and no kid likes feeling like that, we know it's a spike buried deep in his psyche, which gave him a reason for the dichotomy he ends up forming.

when he was a kid, people tended to fall into two categories - those who were really impressed with him and his potential, and those who saw him as a freak and wanted to drag him down for it. the love he got and the hate he got are directly related to both.

and as a result ford is constantly looking for people who will give him intellectual gratification (what he thinks love is), and he categorises everyone else as "unimportant obstacles in my way" (because that's how he thinks about those bullies, so their words won't hurt anymore)

stanley was the first category, until he sharply became the second

and splitting the world into those two categories makes him an absolutely horrible person! like, one hand yeah, you do have sympathy for ford bc that is straight up torture bill put him through and no one should have to experience it (and i do wanna make clear this is not a ford hate post, he does have good qualities im just interested in the bad rn)

on the other hand though, god, i'm always struck by just how hateful he is towards so many unimportant things (just one of many examples, christmas songs are fake and stupid bc rudolph didn't burn santa's workshop to the ground as revenge for ostracizing him like jesus christ dude)

or the bit where he sees one of stan's shitty product ads and considers calling him and pretending to be a cop just to scare him, because in ford's mind that's a punishment he deserves for daring to look so stupid while sharing ford's face

and it just drills in how much ford is not willing to see stan's side of this in any way, because what do you think would happen if you went through with that plan? don't you know stan's already scared enough? you saw him get kicked out, you saw the ultimatum that came with it, and hell thanks to the book of bill we know you were also scared to go home until you had something to show for it. he's trying his best, and you understood that once. but then stan throws your journal back in your face and you yell that you're giving him the chance to do the first worthwhile thing in his life.

everything he did to try and make something of himself, to try and prove himself worthy of literally any love at all, you didn't care about that. now he's in a position to help you, so of course he should just drop everything and obey your orders to the letter without question. that's the only way to redeem himself for getting in your way, why won't he take it?

by the time bill shows up ford felt fully justified in going "this isn't about me, and therefore it's stupid and unimportant and should be destroyed". and i know exactly why, it's because again you think intellectual gratification and love are the same thing and you're running low on both right now so you're trying to make up the difference by affirming how right you are in your goddamn diary, but right does not make you good or kind or wise

and that makes it kind of a self fulfilling prophecy, because loving you is hard, and the one person genuinely willing to do so unconditionally you're keeping at a very aggressive arms length. but you fall for bill so easily, because he understands how important you are, which must be love, and all of these other people worried about you just aren't smart enough to get it

and not even realising bill's lies could cure him of that one. hell, 30 years spent dimension hopping didn't cure it. when ford gets back he is still just as self righteous, and still willing to categorise dipper as "will give me intellectual gratification" and the rest of them as intrinsically less valuable

which is why dipper can't take the deal ford offered him. if he had, he would have turned out exactly like ford, stuck in his own echo chamber unable to tell the difference between love and praise

mabel says at one point in the comics that the reason the two grunkles are bad at looking after kids is because they still are kids, and that's a really accurate insight. that old wound cut so deep neither of them had the chance to actually move past their childhood, and discover what it was they were missing

stan never stopped wanting his brother back, but ford didn't realise that was what he needed too, until he saw mabel and dipper working as a team against bill. he's acknowledged his mistake in trusting bill before now, but "we used to be like that" is his first time acknowledging that his whole approach to people is wrong.

you've always had one source of unconditional love. you didn't need to be better than him to be worthy of it. and now you've got an entire new family, hopefully you'll realise that can come from multiple fronts

(and it's okay stan shall have his revenge for how you treated him by commiting just. so much tax fraud in your name)

[fadedin2u]

hi rose toy, could you write about ellie comforting reader with body insecurities? love your writing and have a good day!!

here’s a little drabble!! this was super therapeutic to write, thank u for the lovely request anon!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“i just- i don’t like myself, ellie. i don’t like anything about how i look,” you finally admit, sick of your own thoughts plaguing your mind.

ellie’s eyes are full of heartache as she says, “but i do. i like everything about how you look.”

the response makes your heart bleed more, and your lip trembles.

“you have to say that. you’re my girlfriend.”

ellie shakes her head, “hey. that’s not true. i’m not gonna say anything to you that i don’t mean, you know that.”

you look down, not wanting her to see the tears building in your eyes. “i just… i can’t help but notice how many fucking things are wrong with my body. with my face. with me.”

ellie frowns, “what makes any of it wrong? where’s the guide book telling you how you’re supposed to look?”

you get irritated in spite of knowing ellie’s good intentions, “everything tells me i’m supposed to look different than how i do, ellie. you’re the fucking beauty standard, no offense, but you have no idea what it feels like to not be.”

ellie’s eyes flash with hurt from your words, but she covers it well.

you sigh, ashamed, wiping your face, “i’m sorry, els, really. i’m not trying to pick a fight with you or make you feel like shit too, i just hate living with how i look everyday.”

ellie smoothes her hands over your sides, “do you want to know what i think?”

you take a breath and slowly nod.

“not everything about you fits the beauty standard. that’s true. but the beauty standard was created by rich, white men who are trying to make a goddamn profit off of women fucking hating themselves. so women just perpetuate this bullshit standard, because they feel like it’s attached to their worth as a human being, and everyone feels like shit, except for the dudes who’s pockets are getting fuller each time someone goes in to get a fucking lypo treatment or a nose job.”

you stay quiet, listening, even though this isn’t necessarily new information to you.

ellie takes a breath, “so, maybe not all of you fits into that stupid model of a fake woman, but how the fuck does that make you less beautiful? i love how you look naturally, because you’re fucking real, gorgeous, and human. i don’t want a fantasy girl that fits perfectly into a porn-brain infected, white, straight, limp-dick’s wet dream. i want you. i want how you look naturally, when you’re healthy and happy. because that’s when you look the most beautiful to me, no matter what.”

you take a breath. “so you’re honestly saying you wouldn’t prefer if i was more stereotypically attractive?”

ellie rolls her eyes, “that doesn’t fucking mean anything to me. i’m very fucking attracted to you, and that’s all that matters. i wouldn’t change a thing about how you look, ever.”

you nod slowly, and she pulls you into a tight hug.

“it makes me sick that you feel like you’re innately wrong in some way, because that couldn’t be further from the truth. if you’re giving yourself enough food, taking care of your body, and you’re happy, that’s exactly how you should be looking. okay?”

you know that ellie’s words don’t take away your feelings of insecurity, but it helps soothe some of the sting, the hurt.

“i’m sorry for making you preach self-love to me,” you say, smiling a little, trying to lighten the mood.

ellie looks serious as she says, “i will again. anytime you need it. i cant stand the thought of the most perfect thing in my life hating how they naturally look. i’ll say it a billion times if you need it, i promise.”

she kisses your forehead.

“do you think take-out would help you feel better? because i think it would.”

[nvoirs]

During a mission leon and the reader seek shelter in a hotel from a massive storm, but there was a room available with only one bed and each mission they go on they can’t deny their attraction for each other, it ended up with Leon throat fucking the reader.

Re4r Leon or Re6 and prompt “That’s it baby.” & “Open that throat for me. Fuck— your doing so good, taking me so well….”

(Mind you that leon is kind of long, thick, and has veins all around it with a slight curve at the tip. He’s like a almost 12 inches….)

The reader hasn’t done anything like this with him so she is inexperienced, yeah they kissed a couple times but that was it although he is glad to be able to teach her.

Disclaimers: Obviously some intense throat fucking, Leon has a normal sized dick guys.. not 12 inches shdshfs

Note: Leon throat fucking you is so hot UGH. I just keep imagining RE4 Leon in this specific scenario. I just feel like he would totally throat fuck you, using and teaching you all he knows hehe and he's definitely a tincy wincy mean about it.

--

Soaked to the bone, you slid the card Leon gave you to the hotel receptionist wanting to be booked in as soon as possible so you could get out of your sopping, wet clothes. Leon was currently on the other side of the room talking to someone you assumed to be Hunnigan and the situation going about. The storm that had hit the area was extremely strong, and the rain almost hurt as it beat down on your face and back when you and Leon had made your way to the closest place of accommodation which happened to be a dingy, little hotel.

Chewing your lip you waited for the woman to give the key card to the room you had asked for.

“I'm sorry Miss but there's no more rooms with two beds available I'm afraid. But I can book you and your boyfriend a room with a large double? It'll be nice and comfy for just the two of you.”

The receptionist's smirk was visible, she twirled her hair as she made herself look innocent enough waiting for your answer.

Oh for fuck sakes, one of you would have to sleep on the floor and you sure hoped it wasn't you. Your back was killing, being thrown to the ground by a dude twice your size wasn't a soft landing.

“I'll take the double then, and me and my boyfriend will be comfy.” You snatched the key card out of her palm, scoffing as you made your way over to Leon who was tapping his foot staring at his watch.

“Got it.” You waved the key card under his nose entering the elevator Leon tagging along.

“Finally I'm fucking dead I need sleep” He groaned as he leaned against the metal wall of the elevator surveying your face.

You giggled, but your face began to turn slightly warm as you tugged at your collar coughing slightly. “I uh could only get a room with one double by the way.”

“That's no problem, I'll take the floor.”

You stared at him and felt guilty. Regretting what you had said before about wanting the bed to yourself, you shook your head.

“No I think you should get the bed Leon, you were knocked around hard today.”

“No way, and let the lady sleep on the floor? That wouldn't be very gentlemanly of me.” His eyes twinkled as he awaited your response.

“Leon I may be a lady, but I'm your partner and I only think it's fair you get the bed.” You poked his chest teasingly.

His bangs fell across his eyes before he brushed them back his eyes darkening. “Well maybe we should just sleep in the bed together, what d'ya say?”

His face was so close to yours, your eyelashes fluttering as you stared at him hard. Your hands on his chest to steady yourself, you could feel the steady rhythm of his heart beating quite the opposite of yours.

The ding of the elevator pulled you both away from each other, as an elderly lady waddled in smiling at the two of you.

You nodded back before getting out of the elevator as quick as possible not even looking behind you scanning the key card and flinging the door open. The door was stopped by Leon's hand as he came through shutting it but not before he swiftly put the do not disturb sign on the door handle without you noticing.

“Want to pick up where we left of sweetheart?” His answer floated in the air before hitting you in the face.

“I.. sure I guess.” You stumbled over your words hoping he wouldn't notice.

“Baby if you don't want to do anything, I won't force you I promise.”

Baby? That was new. “No Leon, It's okay I want this please.” You pulled his arms around your waist as he joined you on the bed. He nodded his head before diving down for your lips. Sweet and innocent just how he liked his women. He prodded your mouth open and you complied allowing him inside. Sucking on your tongue, you moaned grinding against his body as he pushed you further into the soft pillows. Drool was spilling down the corner of your mouth, a mixture of his and yours.

Leon stopped the make out session practically ripping your wet clothes of your body so you were left in nothing but your underwear. The pair of white lacy undergarments made him groan, you were even dressed as an angel beneath your work attire.

“Leon, take of your clothes to.” You whined tugging at his pants. He chuckled at you, “So impatient.” He clicked his tongue.

Pulling everything of so he was naked except for the tight pair of briefs he wore, that exposed his massive bulge the precum stain in the middle.

Your eyes widened, but you popped the certain question. “Leon can I help you?”

He smirked, “Be specific when you say help, how so?”

“Can I put your cock in my mouth?”

“I think I want to fuck your throat instead, It'll clean your mouth out I promise.” You clenched your thighs at his words.

“I h-haven't done that before with anyone, could you show me?”

“Oh baby, I can teach you as much as you want there isn't much you just got to open up that tight fucking throat.” He pushed you down on the bed, your head on the edge as he hovered above you.

You blushed at the view, waiting for his next order. “What do I do now?”

He hummed his bulge so close to your face, “Take them of first of all.”

You slowly reached out your hands, still upside down you looped the material of his briefs between your fingers before slowly pulling them down. They slid to the floor near his ankles, and you awed at the sight.

He was red and throbbing waiting for your next move, he slapped himself a few times against your parted lips.

“Leon!” You squeaked, your face becoming flustered as you gaze followed towards his smug face.

“What?” He mimicked your voice. “Now I just need you to open your pretty mouth, and keep it wide open.”

You gulped, making sure your mouth was coated in saliva so it would be easier for Leon to fuck the hell out of your throat. You were excited, “Let me take care of you Leon.”

“Fuck me.” He mumbled sliding his cock into your open gob, he kept pushing until the tip was hitting the back of your throat. You gagged as your throat contracted making Leon moan releasing a string of curses. Your throat was squeezing him so hard already, your head practically dangling of the bed hanging on by your nervous body.

“S-sorry.” You slurred mouth full of cock, but Leon heard you and he chuckled.

“Oh your going to be even more sorry if you don't open up wide honey.” You obliged opening your mouth as far as it would go. Leon slid himself in to the hilt, and you were holding back tears as you felt a burning sensation to choke and splutter but you pushed it down.

“Aww is my poor baby crying, don't cry I'll teach you I promise.”

He began to thrust into your mouth harshly, throwing his head back from the burst of pleasure he was receiving from your tight throat taking him so well.

Your muffled noises could be heard as Leon made a mess of you. He grabbed a handful of hair that was messily covering your eyes, holding on strongly he pulled your hair bubbling up a moan inside of you.

His balls were hitting your face, and you squeaked every time the impact of them came down. His scraggly pubes prickling you every time he ploughed into your mouth harder.

Your saliva and his sticky precum was decorating the sides of your mouth, and the pretty sight made Leon want to cum instantly.

“Ha- going to cum in your mouth now baby, and then your going to swallow it all and show me you did, ok?” He was struggling to form coherent words as he worked closer to his release, you on the other hand just hummed in reply. Tears smothered your wet face, your makeup smudged and ruined only for Leon to look at.

“Fuck yeah, look at you baby taking me so well, m'gonna cum in your fucking mouth now.” A deep groan resonated inside of Leon's chest as he filled up your hungry mouth with his hot, sticky ropes of cum.

He pulled out of your mouth with a pop, watching your every move as you sat up mouth shut tight.

You gulped, and he smirked at you tapping your lips. “Open up honey, I have to see if you ate all that meal I kindly gave you.”

Shyly you opened your mouth and Leon was happy to see that nothing remained, besides that cute little tongue that was good for nothing but satisfying his needs.

“Did I do good, Leon?”

“You did fucking amazing, I always wondered how it'd feel to have you stretched around my cock.”

You turned a shade of red, not knowing Leon wanted to ever do nothing more than kiss while drunk you plucked up the courage to ask him.

“So Leon what are we?”

“Whatever you want us to be, but maybe your boyfriend because the lady at the desk seemed to like that idea.”

“You heard that?” You gawked at him but should've realised as Leon did have a sharp pair of ears.

“I did indeed, my girlfriend. So what do you say?”

“I'd love that, my boyfriend.” He pecked the top of your head, pulling the covers over your exhausted bodies. I guess the bed situation was solved then.

--

[heartfullofleeches]

Monster reader is my top fav of ALL readers.

Like just imagine if Monster reader just wanted food so they go into a place that looks like it has food. And somehow walks into a cult meeting that give their upmost dedication to some monster god that looks similar to monster reader lol.

“ Today, we have come together to give our upmost dedication and beliefs into our savior. Our savior who gave us our life and our creation! And that is why today, we will be sacrificing this fool who dared to disrespect- Door opens

“ Oh. Sorry for interrupting, but I was wondering if you have any spare food?”

“….. OUR SAVIOR HAS FINALLY RETURNED!”

“ FORGIVE US FOR BASKING IN YOUR PRESENCE WITH ASKING MY LORD!! EVERYONE GET ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY FOR FORGIVENESS!”

Lol.

(small mention of gore)

Two months, fourteen days, and five hours.

The longest you've ever went without food. If you were human, the time frame would have held a heavy tax on your body if not killing you out right, but all it did leave was dull pains in your abdomen. During said period, you found a nice cave to sleep in and recover from the injuries sustained in your escape from the facility that stole you from your home. The rest cured your broken bones and scrapes, but unfortunately like every living creature - you needed to eat.

The area you resided in didn't have much going for it in the food category. Most of the edible plants and berries had been picked clean, and you were took out of practice to hunt for your meal. Being locked in a white room with meat thrown at you randomly really put you out of shape in more ways than one. Your fears of having to leave the forest were extinguished with the discovery of an old wrapper found one evening near a neck of the woods you had yet to explore.

The guards at that place walked around with similar papers, filling you with unease, but that anxiety goes out the door the second your nose picks up on a familiar smell. Raw meat.

Climbing over some rocks, you spot a collection of wooden enclosures with strange symbols painted atop. The books the researchers made you read never talked about those. Their knowledge led you to the conclusion that these buildings were cabins and the one where that alluring smell was coming from was the closest to you. There was noise from the neighboring buildings, but if you acted quietly then maybe you could just grab enough food to hold you off for a while and they'd be none the wiser.

Creeping past the red tap that secludes the camp from the rest of the forest, a shrill scream pierces the heavens. It pins you to place, the memories of the cellmates you lost rushing to mind. Is someone hurt? Despite your experiences with others, you wanted to help, but you needed strength in case of any danger.

You hurry to the door, breaking the lock and flinging yourself into the darkness. Your advanced sight guides you through the shadows and straight to your prize. The blinding light from the icebox is the most beautiful pain you've ever witnessed. Forgetting the manners you learned overtime, you claw open various bags of dead flesh and wolf down whatever you can get your hands on. A few of the bags have names on them, but you're too hungry to care why. Bewteen the wet squish of your teeth gnashing shut, a hush blows through the crowd forming outside.

"I told you I heard something, dude. Probably a fucking bear or something. It's eating the reserves."

"Relax. I'll handle it."

The light flickers on. You've been found The guilt you felt for eating the human's food without asking turns into panic as the first thing you see is the barrel of a shotgun pointed square blank at your face. You drop the meat in your hands and cower against the back wall; your first week of freedom spent pushing bullets of the same caliber out your spine. Your lips curl over your teeth as it clatters to the ground in front of you, still afraid as if it could do anything without a handler.

"Could it be?..."

You look up at the robed figures filling the room, the creases of their faces twisted in awe or fright. The first to fall is the one holding the weapon, followed by the rest of their group as they fall to their knees, bowing their heads and rising their hands in prayer. One of the memb pulls out another still standing in shock above you.

"The day of your arrival has finally come. Forgive us, Master. We didn't recognize you at first in such a weak state. Please spare us of your spite."

Master? That's an odd name. You quite liked the one a kind human gave you once. Y/n rolls off the tongue nicer.

"If you still require sustenance, we will leave you to your feast unless you'd prefer the fresher product of our harvest. If I may offer a suggestion, we can mend your clothes and prepare you a bath to cleanse you of our tainted blood."

Bath. Those were the only highlight of the facility. Why are these people being so nice to you compared to them? It made you feel terrible considering you were the one that broke into their home. Hunger beating the conflicting emotions, you continue to eat the meat until your stomach could carry no more. You probably stopped a few bites before you reached maximum capacity due to all the eyes on you making you a little uncomfortable.

You step out of the cabin, wiping your mouth with the bottom of your shirt to be polite. The cult watches your every move, but not one person makes a peep. Considering you were the center of attention, they must be waiting for you.

"Um... hello."

The members of the cult collectively lose their minds.

"Our messiah! They speak! To lowly beings as us."

"It really is them! I'm sorry for ever doubting your presence, my lord."

"This form suits you best in my expert opinion. Let us gather in celebration for your arrival."

They gather around you, examining your claws and taking measurements of your body to prepare proper clothing for you. The questions and praise your bombarded with make your head spin, but soon enough you're led to a bathing house in another cabin and your stress is washed away by the warm water and those who tend to your mated clothes and hair. Not long into your bath, others come with robes for you to wear. They sob and shrivel beneath your words of thanks, everyone here does.

After dinner where you sit at the head of the table, too full to eat a bite of food, you're allowed to wonder the grounds until your cabin has been fully furnished. You enter the room where the screams originated from hours ago, shocked by what you discover.

A mural of a beast similar to you was painted on the far wall in fine paint and what smelled like blood. Dual irises, onyx fangs, the cross scar in the center of its chest. This creature was you, a bigger, menacing and all powerful you. Below the painting was a dead human spilt open from sternum to belly, the bones broken away and organs scooped clean. Backing away from the scene, you bump into someone.

"We are so glad that you've come to us, Master. Please grant us the lasting benefit of your presence for the rest of our days - and beyond

[decentishoutsidersthoughts]

I’ve been at a family gathering all day so here are some hcs for a Curtis family gathering

Darry

As the eldest grandchild he was somewhat treated like an adult even before his parents died. But it balanced out by the fact that the entire family worshipped him just for existing. He’s his grandma’s favorite and she makes it VERY obvious.

After his parents died he completely stopped being seen as one of the kids/grandkids. He started helping at the grill and chatting with the other adults. It wasn’t the worst thing over because he was outgrowing a lot of the kids anyways, but it was still SO disorienting for him the first couple times. 

Every so often he’ll say something and the whole family will be forced to remember he’s still barely an adult. And then they’ll have to ponder that for a moment and it kinda kills the mood

One time he was offered a beer and reminded everyone he was underage. That one fucked with them for a while.

All the kids beg Darry to pick them up, carry them around, all that stuff. And he definitely does it every time. They get so pissed when he says he’s tired and stops. Like demon screeching ‘NO’

The big thing Darry doesn’t like about the gatherings is that everyone is trying SO hard to avoid mention anything about the Curtis parent’s deaths. To the point that it’s painfully obvious and very uncomfortable for Darry.

There’s this one asshole uncle and one time he started insulting Soda’s intelligence in front of Darry (Soda was outside) and the two almost fought. The uncle got kicked out after that

He makes an absolutely amazing burger (he learned from his dad)

Sodapop

The poor boy isn’t really anyone’s favorite. They all like him but don’t take as much pride in him as his brothers, he’s really overlooked.

The exception to this is uncle on his dad’s side, he sees himself a lot in Soda and dotes on him. They’re super close and the uncle always slips him five dollars to buy himself something nice

The younger kids definitely absolutely adore them. He loves just roughhousing with them and chasing them around the yard. Most of them call him their favorite cousin and it goes straight to his ego.

One of the kids hurts inevitably themselves and cries every time. Soda always will bundle them into his arms and clean them up before he can get in trouble lol. Most of the time only Ponyboy finds out and my boy isn’t a snitch. 

One of the kids just goes home with a big scrape and their parents are like ‘where did this come from-‘ but nobody has put two and two together yet

At the first gathering after their parents died he broke down sobbing halfway through. Darry found him crying in their moms old bedroom. They went home after that and it turns out they all had wanted to leave.

For extra spice, the reason he started crying is because a lot of those kids weren’t old enough to understand the concept of death and kept asking him where their aunt and uncle were

Him and Ponyboy will have heavy gossip sessions in their room once they get home. Darry knows about them and will sometimes join if the tea is really hot.

Ponyboy

He’s their pride and joy. He’s so insanely spoiled and gets basically whatever he wants. Once it became clear college wasn’t happening for Darry everybody was all over him.

Being a fourteen year old he does NOT enjoy these gatherings. He usually just either sits in the corner with a book or hangs out with the only other cousin his age.

He sometimes likes watching Soda play with the kids because of how happy he looks. However he himself avoids those kids at all costs.

Back to the gossip sessions, Ponyboy ends up with so much knowledge because everyone assumes he isn’t listening or forgets he’s there. This dude knows everything.

He finds their doting so annoying and is like ‘leave me alone’ (he grows out of this ofc, 14 year olds just kinda suck lol)

When he gets older he joins the adults a lot, still not a fan of the kids

[robot-roadtrip-rants]

My Headcanon for Why Emps Banned Religion

I have read none of the books with a heavy Emps focus but I have read a lot about them, including various excerpts, and obviously that's enough to qualify me for making headcanons about him. So here's my big theory:

The religion ban had nothing to do with Chaos, and everything to do with the Emperor himself.

Listen. Listen. We have three facts:

The Emperor is a 38,000-year-old psyker created to defend humanity against Chaos who has dealt directly with the gods. There is no way he doesn't understand how they work.

The Emperor made a deal with Chaos but failed to keep his end of the bargain. This bargain allowed him to create the primarchs, but it also empowered him personally.

The Emperor is the entity prophesied to become the Dark King, the fifth Chaos God.

I think the Emperor was trying to prevent his own ascension by banning religion.

Humanity has a fairly strong connection to the Warp; it's slowly evolving into a psyker species. A single, non-psyker human won't have much effect, but if billions and billions of humans believe the same thing, it will affect the Warp.

Now, pause for a moment and think about what it would be like to encounter the Emperor. I don't just mean walking up to the guy and shaking his hand, I mean just seeing him and being in his vicinity. You're gonna get knocked on your ass by the most intense Warp aura you will ever feel in your life. To put things in perspective, in one of the HH books, Lion makes an entire room of men kneel just by walking in the room. The Emperor is exponentially more powerful than any of the primarchs. The dude hangs out with blanks because they're just too weak to hurt him.

A lot of people are going to process that encounter as a religious experience.

Now, obviously the vast majority of the Imperium's population are never going to see the Emperor. But millions and millions of people will still go through this experience. We don't see much of this because the HH series takes place when the Emperor retreats to Terra to work on the Webway. Prior to that, he would have been a public figure--giving speeches, holding triumphs, leading armies, going to summits, etc etc etc. There would be a steady stream of people walking away shaken to the core because they decided to go to a big parade or whatever.

Now, add to that his utopian mission (the Imperium will unify the galaxy and create a golden age of humanity! yay!), the cult of personality, and the fact that some planets really would have greeted the Imperium's arrival with joy...

Look, someone's gonna start a new religion. Maybe multiple someones. And you had better believe it's gonna spread because "huh that there is some kind of divine being" is a pretty understandable response to Big E and his Slightly Less Big Sons.

Thing is, the Big E in question knows about the Dark King prophecy, knows how the warp works, and knows he's as much a Warp entity as he is human. If increasing number of humans believe that he's a god, all that belief is gonna pour into the Warp, and eventually it's gonna affect the very nature of his being. Him, who already has prophecies about a divine ascension floating around. GEE WOW COULD THESE THINGS BE RELATED, WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN NEXT.

The Emperor really, really doesn't want to become a Chaos god. The Emperor is extremely anti-Chaos. So it is absolutely vital that no one starts worshipping him because the risk is too great, and too much is at stake.

The solution? Ban religion.

See, he can't just allow freedom of religion because statistically speaking, someone's gonna start worshipping him. And he can't start a state religion, because that associates his person with the official religion, and then he'll get turned into a saint or a minor god or something. For fucks sake, the Catherics still venerate St. Vladimir and they don't even know what Russia is! Yeah, official religion is straight out. Honestly, the big problem here is the whole tendency to worship giant miracle-working people with overwhelming Warp signatures. That's what really needs to be targeted. A vigorous program of rationality combined with a strict ban on religion will discourage both the practices and the thought processes that lead to Emperor worship. Humanity will learn to trust SCIENCE and FACTS rather than seeking comfort from silly old superstitions. That is definitely how human psychology works.

The downside of this policy is that he cannot acknowledge Chaos. Acknowledging that big spooky supernatural entities with godlike powers exist severely undermines the whole premise. But the aftershocks of Slaanesh's birth have mostly worn off by now, the Warp is pretty quiet these days, and frankly speaking there is so much Weird Shit in the Materium that the occasional daemon can be written off as wacky xenos hijinks. Plus, the general drive away from religion will also drive humanity away from Chaos worship. It's a bit of a gamble to deny Chaos, but all things considered it's a safe one.

So Emps bans religion and starts his totally-not-a-religious Crusade to unify the galaxy and find his sons. Everything is going great! Chaos has barely made a peep and rationality is blossoming on all the human planets. The way things are going, Emps might even get a head start on that Webway--

Uhhhhhhh. That's. That's a nice religion you invented there, newly-found son. You know it's gonna have to go in the trash, right? Atheism is kind of our thing.

what is this what are you writing about

LORGAR WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?

Yeah so Emps flips the fuck out. This is literally what he was trying to avoid, and it is the worst case scenario. Not only has an Emperor-worshipping religion sprung up, but one of his sons--y'know, the insanely charismatic monstrosities with crazy Warp signatures that he made--is the one who started it! This has to be stopped, and it has to be stopped HARD. Breaking Lorgar isn't enough. Emps has to break his religion.

And you know the rest.

************************************************************************

LINGERING QUESTIONS:

Q: If Emps was so hellbent on preventing a religion from springing up around him, why did he build a cult of personality?

A: He's an authoritarian dick, of course he's going to build a cult of personality. And of course he's going to convince himself that the cult of personality is necessary, and that it won't conflict with his anti-religion agenda. That's how authoritarian dicks think.

Q: Then why was he ready to become the Dark Lord in TEatD II?

A: Damage control. Emps didn't have the power to take on All Of Chaos Wearing Horus. So if he didn't ascend, he'd be consigning humanity to subservience at best to extremely hostile entities. But if he did ascend, then he might still be able protect humanity even as a horrifying Warp monstrosity. The Emperor will always choose the option that (he thinks) is best for humanity even at the cost of himself. But that's a whole other post.

LAST TIME: Emps has a really fucked up sense of time.

NEXT TIME: Why is the Emperor Like That?

[cherrycoloredfaith]

BEAUTIFUL artwork for Kiss Off by my beautiful friend Ashley!!! she's so talented and beautiful thank you SO MUCH for being a part of this @ash-yuh

Kiss Off

pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 5

Chapter 4

He left the bar first and set off down the road alone, getting to his car in a matter of minutes. He didn’t know where he was going, just that he needed to breathe again. Driving aimlessly for nearly twenty minutes he realized he was leaving the city, going to the only other place he knew: Munson Construction. The storm clouds in his head that had vanished at the bar returned on the drive. The roads were dark, but the air was clearer out here, and Steve couldn’t get enough of it. The wind wrecked his hair, whipping it around as he took deep breaths. Steve wondered if he should just book it to Hawkins and give up on all this. Wondered if he was ever really meant to leave his hometown. Wondered if he really messed up and should have just married that girl from high school. 

Parking in that same red dirt parking lot, he didn’t ask himself what he was doing because there was no point. He was going to wait it out, stay out of Robin’s hair and give her no reason to worry. Getting out of his car, he headed towards the front to lean on the hood and look out into the surrounding woods that reminded him of home. Except you could see right through them to the street lights beyond the thin cluster of trees. If he was in Hawkins, he could have looked out on a number of lakes within a few miles. Perfectly hidden and perfectly alone. Even out here, he could still hear distant cars from the busy highways, pulling him out of his reveries.

Steve wished he had a pack of cigarettes. Smoking never really tempted Steve until moments like these, where he was alone, searching for some sense of peace.  Pausing, he remembered the key to the clubhouse sitting in his pocket.

Maybe Eddie had some in his locker or office somewhere? Would it hurt to take just one?

Steve tossed his keys in the air, caught them, and thought once again, fuck it, they gave him a key anyway, right?

A single light illuminated the steps going up to the door, the screen door slamming against Steve’s back as he bent to unlock the deadbolt. Once inside, he felt along the wall for a light switch and failed. 

In the dark, his outstretched arms led his way around to the lockers, trying to use what little light came from outside the doorway. The red hard hat was the second locker from the right if his memory served him correctly, so once his hands made contact with the wall of open shelves, he started to rummage. He felt a small, soft cardboard box in the back of the highest shelf, thought, yes, and fumbled to open it in the dark. Just one. 

Steve heard a creak of the floor and his head snapped up, trying to adjust his eyes to the dark hallway beyond that led to Eddie’s office. Nothing but pitch black.

Suddenly, a yell rang out–no, more like a battle cry. The lights came on in a flash, giving Steve just enough time to register the baseball bat swinging for his head. He cowered down, covering his face with his arms as he shut his eyes tight, preparing for the blow. 

When none came, Steve peaked out of one eye at the scene before him. There stood Eddie, in Garfield pajama pants, bat still raised high, and hair coming out of its bindings–a look of utter confusion cast upon his face. 

“Whoa, dude, what the fuck?” Steve exclaimed once he’d found his voice. Is this guy going to kill me?

“Me, what the fuck? No, you, what the fuck?!” Eddie retorted, not moving to lower the bat. He looked from Steve’s face to his hands where he still clung to the pack of smokes. “Did you come all the way out here for those? I could have told you where to get your own. Jesus fucking Christ.”

“No, Eddie, God, I was just–” Steve realized he didn’t have a good explanation for this situation other than the truth. “Look, my roommate needed me out of the apartment for a bit, I was just driving around, looking for somewhere to go and I ended up here.” He shrugged. “And I wanted something to do. What are you doing here?” Steve was pointedly not looking at Eddie’s silly pajama pants. The last thing he needed was to be punched by his boss for laughing at his sleepwear.

“Shit, well, no fucking point now,” Eddie sighed and rested the bat on his shoulder. “I live here, asshole.” 

Steve didn’t know what to say to that, so he picked the first question that popped into his head. “Oh. So… do you normally go to sleep at 10:30 on Friday nights?”

Shutting his eyes, Eddie finally dropped the bat to his side, and Steve could breathe again. When he opened them again, he glared at Steve. “For your information, I was watching a goddamn movie.”

It finally clicked. “Why didn’t you say you lived here before? I thought that was your office,” said Steve, looking towards the dark hallway.

“Because not everyone knows. It was supposed to be a temporary thing, I just didn’t want to stay with Wayne anymore, and it was convenient. I pay him rent, but it’s nothing like what the city would cost me.” He looked defensive. 

Steve just nodded, unsure of what to make of it all. Before he knew it, Eddie had walked back into his office–bedroom– and then returned with one shoe on his foot, the other in his hand, his bat nowhere to be seen. He hopped down the hallway trying to pull the other sneaker on.

“Alright,” said Eddie when he succeeded. “Come on, then.”

Steve didn’t move as he passed by, wafting a soft, sweet scent from his clothes. “Huh?”

“You need to waste some time, let’s waste it.” He was leading Steve through a door he hadn’t noticed before leading out of the kitchen. He grabbed a tin lunchbox as they headed outside. Steve followed as if on autopilot onto a surprisingly cozy, covered back porch, fit with a table, chairs, and even a couch and coffee table that made up for the missing furniture inside. It looked homey. 

Eddie set the box down to plug in some string lights that provided enough illumination for them to see one another. They sat on opposite sides of the couch; once Steve saw Eddie prop up his feet, he did, too, hoping to give any semblance of a relaxed state–when, really, his heart was hammering in his chest. 

When Eddie opened the lunchbox in his lap, Steve immediately got a whiff of what was inside, and he prayed a silent thank you to whatever fates led him here. Eddie looked over at Steve with a grin. “You seemed like you’d need something stronger than those.”

That was the second time Steve forgot about the cigarettes clutched in his palm; he decided to set them down and nod as a sign of his gratitude. 

Then, Eddie started to roll his own joint as if he’d done this a million times. Steve even saw that he had proper rolling papers. He watched him with fascination while Eddie focused on his task. No words were spoken between them, but something about the silence felt comfortable. No, not comfortable, but… anticipating.  Steve stared in awe at how relaxed he was, delicately licking the edge of the paper to hold it closed. Eddie’s hair was almost completely out of the low bun it was in and long strands dangled down, creating a curtain around his eyes. Steve had the urge to brush it aside.

“How’s the sunburn?” Eddie asked. 

“The what?” Steve blinked out of his trance. His heart was pounding. 

“Dude, you’ve got to snap out of it. Did I scare you that bad?” Eddie leaned in, searching Steve’s eyes for something.

“No, no, I’m fine, I swear. Thank you.” What was he thanking him for? Steve was screaming at himself on the inside, begging him to regain his cool. “I’m so sorry–for barging in like this. I can go, you don’t have to let me stay.”

“I know, Steve. It’s cool. To be honest it gets… a little lonely living out here, not being in the city. Your presence is welcomed, for now.” He shot Steve another smile and began to light the end of the joint. Steve starts to wonder if Eddie has already done this once tonight based on his low, honeyed voice, the slightest glaze over his eyes. 

“Where’s Wayne’s?” wondered Steve.

“Closest suburb to the east of here. Not ten minutes down the road when there’s no traffic. I just needed some space to learn how to take care of myself, but still save some money.” He took a drag. “And to smoke without worrying about Mrs. Wheeler next door calling the cops,” he added, chuckling devilishly low as if it was something that actually happened. 

Steve took the pass, inhaling deeply, trying to hide his little coughs. “What movie?” he asked as he stretched his arm back out for Eddie to take the joint from his hands.

Eddie looked over and laughed. “Can you speak more than two words at a time?”

Steve rolled his eyes and snatched his hand back, moving it out of Eddie’s grasp to take another hit. “Fine, fine! I mean, what movie were you watching before I broke into your house?”

“Technically you didn’t break in, you have a key.”

Steve flushed. “That’s another thing to get back to. Are you avoiding the question?”

“Never. I was watching Back to the Future 2,” he said matter-of-factly, chin held high as he took back the joint, fingers brushing Steve’s, sending a shiver up his arm. “Arguably, the superior of the two films. With triple the Michael Fox. ” Eddie looked up at the lights dreamily. 

“Dude, what? You’re lying to me. The original is so much–wait, what?” he asked, caught off guard by Eddie’s last words.

He laughed, “Kidding, Harrington! So far, the original one reigns supreme.” He winked, but his gaze didn’t linger. “That was actually going to be my first time seeing it until…” he gestured to the two of them sitting on the couch. 

The confusion Steve was experiencing at Eddie’s implications caused him to flush again. “Oh,” was all he said in response. Maybe he should ask him if he’s into guys. “So why give out keys to literally your home? Does everyone have them?” Steve screamed at himself in his head. 

“Usually I don’t have to worry about anyone I work with thinking anything valuable is inside. Tonight I was sorely mistaken. And no, not everyone has one, but anyone needs to be able to get in, so…” Eddie shrugged. “It’s worked out for me so far. I keep my room locked too during the day, so don’t get any ideas.” He smiled.

Steve decided not to ask why he received one after his first day, and instead decided to change the subject. “My roommate wouldn’t really have kicked me out herself, but I knew she’d want the place since she was the only one getting lucky tonight.” Oh, God. Why did he have to bring that up?

“Ahhhh, are we in love with said ‘roommate’? Here on a feel-sorry-for-yourself evening escapade?” Eddie tilted his head to the side, peering at Steve through lidded eyes. 

“No. Seriously, it’s not like that. She’s my best friend. We went to this place downtown… near Pennsylvania Avenue,” Steve was cautious with his words, but he couldn’t help it. He had to know. “I forgot the name. Do you know any bars over there?”

Eddie met Steve’s eyes, but his were unreadable. “Yeah, I know of one. Did they play a lot of dream pop?”

“Yes!” Steve exclaimed, trying not to sound too overly excited that Eddie picked up on a similar detail as him. And appeared to have visited the same bar as him. This probably meant he was cool, but he still couldn’t tell anything about him. He should just ask. “Yes, that one. Red door?”

Eddie nodded, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “Tell me more about her. Your roommate.”

Steve got lost in talking about his best friend for a moment. He was familiar with giving the usual exposition of how they met working at an ice cream parlor but had gone to school together for years. They were inseparable ever since, up until she graduated and decided to go to college, which Steve hadn’t got in. He was so grateful she was close by, but he always felt that he couldn’t follow. When Robin’s scholarship finally let her live off campus, Steve was elated to come join her somewhere new. 

“So, she’s the whole reason why you're here?” Eddie asked. 

“Kind of. She’s who really got me out of my hometown,” replied Steve, shrugging.

“Hmm, sounds like you might be in love with her…” Eddie repeated. “Why else would you want to move just to work such a shit job with such a shit boss?” He gestured to himself, topped with a sickly sweet smile. 

“Seriously, dude, that ship has sailed. Or never even made it in the water. Or doesn’t even exist. I don’t–I don’t see her like that,” Steve answered, not sure if Eddie could pick up on what he meant. The weed was starting to cause his thoughts to swim around in his head. “This was the only job I got called back for.”

“Oh,” said Eddie. The joint had sat forgotten between his fingers as they spoke. Now, Eddie lit it once more, taking a drag. Instead of turning his head to blow the smoke away from Steve like he had before, he leaned in, locked eyes with him; he blinked slowly as he directed his exhale at Steve’s face in a powerful gust. Steve groaned, made a face and put up his hands, pretending to be bothered by it while his stomach did somersaults; he had to fight to not stare at his lips. “Guess Wayne was desperate, huh?” Eddie kidded.

“Hah, yeah, I guess so,” Steve nervously laughed to shake himself out of the trance Eddie put him in. He knew Eddie was reasonably joking, but it wasn’t far from what Steve suspected was the truth. But speaking the words out into the world of his failures didn’t hurt as much with the weed in his system. It didn’t feel so much his own fault as it was the nature of the outside world. Life outside a small town. Simple truths you learn as you age. Finding a job is hard, being gay is dangerous, etc. 

A quiet silence fell over them as they finished those last puffs of the joint. It was comfortable, but Steve couldn’t help but feel the absence of the words between them. It was nearing midnight according to Eddie’s digital watch on his wrist. Was it really just hours before Steve overheard Eddie complaining about him? Saying he was going to “ruin everything”? 

Steve jostled at the memory, the same concerns from before settling in. He had to ask. 

“Eddie… What happened last summer?” Steve urged. 

Their eyes met again. When did they get so close? Steve could see the expanses of Eddie’s brown eyes. They suddenly darkened, and it was as if Steve was being pulled forward ever so slightly. 

Then, Eddie pulled his legs back, leaned forward, and propped his elbows on his knees, putting distance between them as if nothing had happened. He looked out to the darkness of the woods ahead.

“Nothing that actually concerns you. I’m sorry you heard me yell,” he revealed, defeated and ashamed. “This guy on my crew last year, he caused a lot of problems. Didn’t treat Max well either.”

Steve’s stomach flipped again; so Eddie was referring to him with that outburst. Steve wasn’t sure what this last guy had to do with him. He hadn’t caused any problems like that, right? He barely remembered what he did that day.  Steve paused, taking in the information; he had that same feeling again, that there was more to be said about his guy, but before he could pry further, Eddie interrupted. 

“Anyways, you might want to be heading back before it gets too late. You good to drive? I don’t have anywhere for you to crash,” asked Eddie. 

Taken aback, Steve nodded, feeling dismissed. They stood to walk inside; Steve paused to assess how high he was only to find he was hardly buzzed. He was surprised, certain that he felt so much more a second ago.

Steve couldn’t tell what Eddie was thinking as his face was blank when they walked along a dirt path in the trailer to the front door. Eddie held it open for him as Steve tried to think of something to say.

“Thanks! For hanging out I mean, and the smoke.” Steve hoped he was successful at attempting to sound casual. In return, Eddie gave a familiar grin, nodding once and shutting the door behind him without another word.

Steve stood there for a moment, wondering why bringing up this guy set Eddie off so badly. He wished he could have stayed for longer, but it was getting late. Sighing, Steve brushed off his nerves and walked towards his car to head home. 

As Steve drove that evening, despite abruptly being sent home, he couldn't help but to be hopeful. Steve could drop the whole last summer issue if Eddie could. He imagined himself enjoying himself at work, making Eddie laugh, making him proud. Becoming his friend. Really learning how to do the work. He smiled to himself as he walked up to his apartment. He didn’t even feel so lonely when giggling drifted up from under Robin’s door. Steve went to bed in his new room finally feeling a little at peace. He fell asleep to the image of Eddie’s smile behind his eyes. 

[waitmyturtles]

Wonderful day in Thailand. but now for the important questions. Of all the ql thai couples, who's the first to go down the aisle? Like they are counting the minutes and have everything planned out?

Rose💜

KaranAchi, way ahead of the pack (THE INVITES HAVE ALREADY GONE OUT),

followed closely by KingUea, riding on King’s energy, who picked out the ring mentally when he saw those cat ears and managed just a gorgeous proposal, with parents and all. The aunties have already been rubbing their hands together, they need a wedding now.

I think Tharn and Type either tie or gently follow KingUea, because Type legit shaved his head and eyebrows to become a monk to make his folks happy before forever committing to Tharn in TT2.

I think the Cutie Pie dudes wait a while because they already had a ceremony, and it would look just gauche to have ANOTHER event where people would bring MORE gifts, dahling, can you imagine.

Tian and Phupha: the arguments for where and when to have the wedding would take so long that the divorce rate for Thai LGBTQ+ weddings would be higher than the marriage rate at that point.

You know who I wanna throw in here? Phat and Saengtai from La Pluie. Tai MOVED TO CHIANG MAI to be with Phat. He made the move! He moved for his man. I think they’re considering permanence. Phat’s probably thinking of something that involves cute aminals.

I really want to think on the younger dudes, but they’d need time to get more mature — the PeteKaos, the FrameBooks. Frame is chaos enough to maybe drag Book to Vegas to shotgun it, but I think Book’s too hesitant. They also need to go to college. Did AePete talk about “forever” in Love By Chance? I can’t remember. I’d LOVE an AePete wedding, Ae was so whipped.

I haven’t finished GAP yet, so I don’t know if I throw SamMon in here. And let me dream that of all the fucking ridiculous couples of Only Friends, that YoPlug were the best and most communicative of the two minutes that we had them, and we need to see Jennie Panhan go down a motherfucking aisle. IN A GMMTV SHOW.

And my heart hurts a touch for the dudes that can’t get married, like PatPran (parents) and ThunMed (the legislation doesn’t cover ghosts).

Now to think about who would get divorced first…

[lizzieislife94x]

Professor Maximoff (w.m)

Wanda G!PxFem Reader

legal age gap y/n is 22 and lizzie is lets say 28

Just a little update to keep the book updated requests are open always Also over 10k reads holy shit I didn't think that many would see this 😳 but thank you (the fact this was the 10k read mark originally and then the whole book got removed at 700k reads still hurts my heart lmfao)

 Y/ns POV: 

"Hey can I have an iced coffee please" I say to the woman serving me "that will be $4 please and ill get your coffee right away" I smile and hand over the money as I wait for my drink after a minute she hands me my drink I smile and say thank you as I head out the store I pull my phone out to check the time and notice I'm later for my first class fuck I have professor Maximoff this morning I've already been later twice this week she's gonna kill me, she is intimidating but I can't help but drool over her every day in class she's fucking perfect and always wears these suits that do things to me I'm snapped out of my thoughts by my phone dinging I quickly look at the screen and see a text from my best friend Natasha. 

Nat<3: Dude you better get here ASAP maximoff is looking at your empty seat with an annoyed look, youre gonna be in so much shit get here like now! 

Fuck fuck fuck 

Me: Shit I had to get coffee I'm on campus ill be there in 5 minutes try and stall for me make up an excuse or something on my way. 

I take a few sips of my coffee and throw it in the trash as I run through the halls like a madman towards professor maximoffs class after a 2 minutes of sprinting I pull the door open and bend over trying to get my breath back "I'm...so..sorry I'm late professor " I say panting as I walk towards my desk I hate being in the front she's gonna stare me down "miss l/n this is your 3rd time late this week I'm not impressed you have detention" she says in a cold tone "I'm I'm really sorry my alarm didn't go off" I lie with a whisper looking down at my desk "no excuses y/n you're a grown girl youre big enough to make sure you arrive on time, open your book to page 60 and read ill deal with you later" she hisses as I pull my book out and start reading I can't help but feel sad for some reason as if I've let her down

looks like I'll actually be reading today I can't bare to look at her I don't wanna see the disappointment in her eyes, I continue to read until professor maximoff hands some tests out "pop quiz I hope you guys took in what we learned last week" fuck of course I didn't I was drooling over her I'm in so much shit "Nat you have to help me I can't remember what we where studying last week" I whisper leaning over to Nat "you need to stop having little fantasies about maximoff and start paying attention in class y/n but I'll try my best to help" she whisper shouts at me great Nat is pissed at me maximoff is pissed at me I sigh and grab my pen as I begin to read over the test paper "A, C, C, B, A, A" Nat whisper as I quickly circle the answers half way there I can do this "miss romanoff can you go to room 336 and get the books for next week please" I hear professor maximoff say out loud as I look up at her then at Nat with a pleading look "of course professor" Nat says as she stands up to leave, fuck fuck fuck I'm screwed I just have to guess the last 6 after 15 minutes I put my pen down and sigh as I lean my elbows on the desk and over my face with my hands "miss l/n get your work done no time for breaks" I move my hands slightly and look at her "I'm done professor" I say with an icy tone full of attitude "less of the attitude miss l/n and bring your test over anymore of that and ill give you detention all next week do you understand me" she states blatantly

I walk over to her desk and hand her the test "I understand professor maximoff I'm sorry" I say looking down "go and sit at your desk quietly don't disturb the rest of the class" I nod and walk back to my desk and sit for a bit as the bell rings I go to get up to leave "y/n sit you have detention for the next 2 hours" wait how did she know she's not even looking up she's marking the tests "yeah of course sorry" I say as I sit back down the classroom soon empty "grab a chair and come sit beside me you can help sort this paperwork" I just stand and grab my chair walking to her desk as I sit she looks at me for a minute studying me "what's going on with you why are you late so often, why are you giving attitude in class" she says as she places her hand on mine making me freeze "I uh I um I've not been sleeping great I'm sorry and I snapped because you where being rude and im tired I'm sorry" I say looking down she grips my chin pulling my face up to look at her "you need to start behaving y/n" she says with a tone I haven't heard, I feel my heart pound as a little moan escapes at the action she just did "I fuck..I'll um try professor"

she bites her lip as her thumb gently rubs my chin slowly moving up to pull my bottom lip slightly "you can't be making those cute little sounds y/n or you'll make it harder to keep my cool around you, you have no idea how much I wanna fuck that attitude out of you" I let out another moan feeling the pool form in my panties I don't know what came over me before I know it I'm climbing into her lap straddling her "maybe that's what I need someone to fuck the attitude out of me" I whisper into her ear making her groan I slightly grind into her to get comfortable but feel something hard forming, uh fuck she has a dick the thought alone makes me drip in an instant I'm bent over her desk with my skirt up around my waist "fuck y/n you drive me crazy it's been so hard to keep my cool I can't help but watch you walk around in these little skirts day In day out" she whispers into my ear as my panties are pulled off "fuck professor maximoff I've been so naughty I need you to fuck me hard" I whimper as I hear her pants being unzipped she spreads my legs and moans at the view I can't help but feel a little shy as she stares at me my cunt dripping I quickly cover my mouth and scream as I feel her sink deep inside me "uhhh fuck princess so tight for mommy" I moan and nod looking round "fuck to big mommy I I can't" I breath out as she leans over making me moan at the sudden movements "you can do it kitten shhh you're being so good for mommy I promise it will feel good in a minute" she moans rubbing my shoulders as I feel her thrusting slowly I can't help but moan "so good so good" I whimper as her hands run down my body to my hips as she increases her thrusts "uhhhhh fuck fuck fuckkkk"

I moan louder as she starts to pound into me harder slamming her full length deep inside me hitting my gspot repeatedly "if I ever hear another bit of attitude coming from that pretty mouth I'll fuck it out of you kitten" she moans thrusting harder "well looks...like...I'm gonna have an attitude..every...everyday" I moan out as I feel my orgasm approach "I'm gonna I'm uhhh" I scream as I cum making professor maximoff groan at the sensation she doesn't stop she only gets faster pounding my cunt relentlessly "fuck this pussy is mine do you understand " she moans I lay spread across her desk unable to form words as she pounds me over and over I feel the second orgasm hit me as she groans "fuck kitten your walls are  squeezing me so fucking good you're doing amazing give me one more" she moans as she keeps her thrusts going I can't help but whimper and drool all over her desk it feels so fucking good but I swear I'm gonna pass out "gonna...cum mommy...I " my eyes roll as she slams deep inside me cumming deep inside me as I cum all over her cock she leans her body on mine moaning into my ear "fuck kitten I've never came like that before you're such a good girl for mommy" I whimper and nod "only for you mommy" I pant trying to get my breath back as she slides out and I stand up fixing my skirt as I feel my legs shaking "I'm keeping these" she smirks holding up my panties putting them into her pocket making me bite my lip "I can't wait for monday" I smirk as I walk away on shaky legs not saying anything else. 

AN: I think I'm going to do a part 2 of this in the next hour of the events of the weekend requests are open haha stay hydrated people word count is 1.6k 

[gentlefangz]

ithink this is what tumblr would be like in the dogman universe: a simulator

😀 randomcivillian-956 follow

can those villain asshats get control of those goddamn monsters i have lost literally every single fucking thing thanks to those brainless pieces of shits last week a fucking T-REX SKELETON destroyed my fucking HOUSE and everything around it

🪻 inmylane-1999

how are you able to say those words

😀 randomcivillian-956 follow

what words?

🪻 inmylane-1999 the a word, f word, and s word

😀 randomcivillian-956 follow

oh i see you're one of the Collardale inhabitants. screw the fuck off your town is a CURSE

🪻 inmylane-1999

what did i do? :(

10 notes

🪰 greenweirdthingwithteeth follow

hnstly i dont get y Daryl hangs arnd that pig guy hes rlly mean & bad

🐊 piethrowingboss

didnt u help us go after him when he ditched us after the mini jail broke 2 bits?

🪰 greenweirdthingwithteeth follow

yeh butt hes still rlly mean & i was a lil moar concerned 4 Daryl

🐊 piethrowingboss

ohhhh kk

5 notes

🐕 zupabuddiezthezenutz

zomg did u guyz watch that new mini-documentary w/ Petey The Cat n Zarah Hatoff??? that waz tragickk..

#holy shart i have so much moar respect 4 him now..

6 notes

🔄 24hotdogsatyourdoorstep reblogged

🌆 icareforyou follow

still dont know why people are supporting Petey Duckhat just because of that documentary, didn't he terrorize the city for more than a month or two?? ntm he quite literally MUTILATED Officer Knight and Greg The Dog's bodies bad enough with that bomb to where they had to become that sick and horrible abomination i have to stomach through seeing on the news every week.

😀 randomcivillian-956 follow

i know right?? like hes genuinely a horrible cat but people are supporting him for no other reason other than "oh hes a victim!!" like shut the fuck up and grow up.

comicpanel-deactivated-98325749857

op i wouldn't say DogMan is sick and horrible, he seems to be in great condition despite such an accident and hard surgery to conduct, and looks perfectly happy. while i don't support Petey Duckhat either, you took it a step further and suggested that DogMan is currently in conditions horrible enough to render him an "abomination".

🌆 icareforyou follow

dont you post tips for fucking evil monsters on your blog.

#LMAOOO dude was SLAUGHTERED so hard they deactivated #redogs

1,509 notes

🌭 24hotdogsatyourdoorstep

walking on the street with a small can of living spray in my pocket and the nearest cop explodes into blood guts and viscera

10 notes

🦷 bigmonsterinyourheart

okay i get that Dr. Scum is a real and kinda sucky person and all that but his labcoat kinda fucks!!

0 notes

✨ lookatthestars

Hot take or whatever but I don't think we should trust a guy who gets really distracted by squirrels and balls and a kitten who could easily get hurt to protect our city. Lightning Dude IS one of the better options as they ARE a highly durable and strong robot, but The Bark Knight and Cat Kid maybe aren't our best bets, they could get hurt easily and aren't exactly professionals.

Don't get me started on the Friendly Friends, I don't think we can trust two guys who JUST left the same exact trio that was responsible for that marshmallow factory's destruction (which left many injured, some DEAD), what if they're pretending? Also the bugs could easily get killed, they're small and fragile, the most work they can do without a high risk of getting smashed is spying on villains.

Commander Cupcake's a different story, as I'm pretty sure that guy only helped out, like, 3 times.

#anti-supa buddies #anti-friendly friends #twinkle twinkle little star

15 notes

🪁 lalalalala89

dude imagine if we were in a book rn and ppl were posting on tumblr abt us

0 notes

🎠 supastarr

remember, calico trans toms are perfectly valid! even cis toms can be calicos, and fur pattern doesn't determine exact gender, especially with fur dying technology nowadays! :)

506 notes

[eyebulb]

Kay, I'm not done w. The whole Stolas thing.. Cus talking to antis piss me off.

Do you not realize that Stolas and Blitz have very similar issues?? That just present itself in different ways (although not entirely)

Both of them have history w. Abuse. Verbal and physical. Blitz has abandonment issues, Stolas has been isolated his entire life. They're both afraid of loneliness and not being enough.

Now.. What about some of their bad habits, hmm? Things people looove to critique.

First up: delusion and deflection

Stolas lives in a fantasy world to escape life. He makes things up in his head and therefor ends up acting to a false reality. He's scared at looking too deeply into things that aren't that great so tries to play it off w. Changing the subject, fleeing, flirting etcetc.

Blitz doesn't live in a fantasy world.. But he's an expert at deflecting. Through humor, anger or just simply ignoring things he doesn't want to hear. Blitz is also afraid of looking too close, but this also include good things lest he fucks it up. This guy is more in the "expect the worst" kinda camp. Cus he does have a version of reality that isn't quite true too. Due to all of his self-hatred among other experiences.

Boundaries..what's that?

Lots of people like to criticise Stolas on this one. His delusion leads to him flirting aggressively and uncomfortably w. Blitz and not seeing when Blitz isn't into it. He also takes Octavia to a place she didn't wanna go despite her saying so, he also talks a little too freely to Blitz in front of her.. (demeaning speech is also included in his uncomfortable flirting)

Blitz.. Is notorious for boundary breaking. He stalks M&M constantly despite them telling him no repeatedly. He also stands in the way of Loona as a protective father which makes her lash out cus she's an adult. (totally get him but still crossing a boundary). He pry into their sex life and does a little bit of inappropriate touching on Moxxie (in a joking manner ofc.. I thought it was hilarious.. But still a boundary). He stalks his sister despite everyone telling him not to. He makes fun of and comes back to scream at a broken hearted Stolas who thought it was over and done after the full moon. (if you wanna try to keep the bird don't make fun of his feelings and break into his home my dude). Not to mention breaking and entering to steal a very valuable book in the first place.

They both have their own reasons for doing this but still.. They're both doing this.

Blames themselves.

Both Stolas and Blitz are very much in the "I'm a piece of shit" camp. As in.. They think very lowly of themselves.

Stolas sings about missing signals, not being enough, being a monster, doing the wrong thing, on several different occasions. He is anxious and insecure in social situations and he tries to hide when he doesn't feel welcome. He has stood up for himself twice but it's rare.

Blitz is self-hatred galore! Which makes him push people away before they can get too close to him lest they see the real him and oh how much worse it would hurt to be rejected then. He made one big mistake that everyone ended up blaming him for and he leans into the role of shitty as much as he can. So he acts out if threatened by treating people around him badly and hurting himself in the process.

They are both their own worst enemy.

Both have fear of loneliness.. However this is a little different.

Stolas has always been lonely... He holds hope of genuine connections and tries desperately to hold on if he finds someone. He is hopefull and falls hard but he doesn't want to force people to stay if they don't want to.

Blitz hasn't always been alone but has been lonely for a longass time. He fears being abandoned since he was pushed away as a child and lost everyone he cared about in one big accident. Blitz also craves genuine connection and hopes for it but is scared of it cus he's lost it before. He wants to get close but not too close.. Except he does want to be too close too. Actually he's quite clingy. But being clingy is scary sooo let's keep our distance.

They both are kinda clingy honestly. Both want to love and be loved. Both are family people. Both are desperate and keep making dumb choices because of it.

There are definitely things that are very different too. Which is a reason to why they don't understand each other yet. But they're starting to.

And I've probably missed things but these are a few similarities in the way they act that makes me wonder why they aren't judged equally..

[petersasteria]

we can't be friends - evan peters

Pairing: Evan Peters x Famous!Fem!Reader

Warning/s: curse words, cheating, italicized parts are flashbacks

Summary: After years of having the same problems and dating on and off, Evan finally had enough.

A/N: I got inspired by @quicksilversg1rl and @evan4ever bc i got obsessed with their writing 😫😫😫

You sat on the floor looking around your shared room with Evan with tears streaming down your face. Clothes, pillows, and blankets were scattered everywhere. Your favorite vase fell and broke into a million pieces. In your hand was a picture frame with yours and Evan’s first ever photo. You sniffed and smiled through the tears. You and Evan just met when that picture was taken. At that time, you knew he was the one for you; you knew he was the one you wanted to be with for the rest of your life.

The universe had other plans, though.

You heard footsteps and a knock on the door. You didn’t have the energy to get up. The door creaked open and you looked up to see Evan looking at you with a defeated expression.

“We can’t go on like this anymore, Y/N.” Evan whispered, sniffling. Unbeknownst to you, he had been crying in the living room. It pained him to see you hurting and it pained him knowing that you’re both hurting each other. “We’re both tired.” He said, as a tear rolled down his cheek.

You fully turned to face him and said, “Is this it? Is this final?”

He nodded, “I’m afraid so.”

You both stared at each other longingly and lovingly. Both of you didn’t know what to feel. You felt angry, sad, hurt, and most of all, you felt betrayed.

“I hate you. Evan.”

“I hate you too, Y/N.” He replied, leaning on the doorframe with his hands in his pockets. “But I love you so much. I can’t place how I feel about you.”

“Well, looks like we’re on the same boat.” You glanced at the picture in your hands and smiled a bittersweet smile, “I knew you were my soulmate in this picture and exactly a year after this photo was taken, you told me that if we both win an Oscar on our 10th year together, you’d propose.”

“Yeah.” He chuckled lightly. “Even if we didn’t win, I would still propose. I knew, the first time I met you, that you were it for me. I think you still are, and I think you’ll always be.”

You looked at him with sad eyes. He looked at you with the same expression and said, “It just fucking sucks that for some reason, we can’t work out and it’s tiring, truly.”

Evan walked in your shared apartment and slammed the door. You were on the couch, reading a book as research for a character you’re going to play in a new movie. You looked up and saw Evan walking up to you. You put a bookmark on the page you’re on before closing it and giving your full attention to an angry looking Evan.

“Who is he, and when were you planning to tell me that I’m being replaced?” Evan asked harshly.

“What the hell are you talking about?” You asked, confused.

“It’s all over the internet, Y/N! You’re on your phone 24/7. Surely, you know what’s going on!” Evan said in a tone that you couldn’t quite place.

“Just fucking tell me!” You said.

“You were out with some curly-haired dude and you were having lunch with him somewhere. You even hugged!” Evan said loudly.

You finally understood what he was talking about. “That’s not some random dude! That’s literally Timothee Chalamet, a.k.a my new co-star! We were just getting to know each other!” You explained, standing up from the couch and walking over to a stressed Evan.

“You’ve been doing this over and over! You meet up with some guy, have lunch, and then God knows what happens next!”

“What happens next is I go home to you fuming at me for no fucking reason!” You shouted. “You shouldn’t be bothered with who I’m going to be in a movie with because I was supportive when you were still being paired with Emma!”

“Oh, don’t go there. It’s not the same!”

“It is! It literally is! You’re spewing nonsense!” You chuckled dryly.

“If you want to see that Timothee guy so much, why don’t you just end it?!”

“Evan, he’s no one! He’s literally seeing someone else.” You explained.

“This is how you repay me after I worked hard for you? I basically made you, y’know?” Evan bragged. Your jaw dropped. How could he say that?

“Honey, I made myself. I worked hard for everything that I have now. You just helped me in the beginning because you said you wanted to. I don’t owe you anything, Evan!” You said.

“Fine, but I still helped you a fuck ton! Also, you DO owe me something. You owe me an apology for cheating on me!” Evan shouted. “Do you know how fucking hurt I was?”

“I didn’t cheat on you, Evan! It was a misunderstanding!” You told him. “He was nothing but a friend!”

Evan rolled his eyes, “Oh, that’s what all cheaters say, Y/N!”

You looked at him in disbelief. How could he believe the tabloids like that? He didn’t understand, or at least tried to. You were brought back to reality when Evan said something you didn’t quite hear. 

“What did you say?” You asked.

“I said, you did this once before. Not to me, but to your ex. You told me you two were broken up, remember? Then I found out the following week that you were, in fact, still very much together and let me guess, you told him that we were friends too, huh? You’re a lying, two-timing, bitch, Y/N. Don’t try to manipulate me because I know the truth.” Evan said. His eyes were dark and lifeless. It made sense. After all, how could his eyes have life anymore after what your relationship has been through?

You stayed quiet. You didn’t want to add fuel to the fire. Evan sighed loudly, tired from the constant bickering. He looked down, put his hands on his hips and said, “Timothee’s your new co-star?”

“Yeah.” You answered. “So what? That’s all there is between us! It’s just work, E.”

He chuckled dryly before looking up at you, “I was your co-star once. Funny, because you seem to have a routine. You have a new male co-star while you’re in a relationship, then you two-time, breakup with the previous guy, and then continue to date the new guy like nothing happened. Then you tell everyone that it’s all a misunderstanding when in reality, you just like to hop from one relationship to another.”

“That’s not true.”

“Oh, it is.” He smiled bitterly before sitting down on the couch and burying his face in his hands. “I’m tired. I’m so tired of your shit.” He whispered. “This relationship is bullshit!” He yelled and pushed away all the things from the coffee table in one swipe before flipping the actual table.

You were in shock. You didn’t know he was capable of doing that. Your heart broke and ached when you heard him crying. You started crying too. You hated seeing him like this. He looked up at you and said, “I love you, but I fucking hate you.”

“I’m not stupid, Y/N. I know that you and your team make me out to be the bad guy; the reason why you and your ex broke up. You keep painting this bad picture of me and congratu-fucking-lations because it’s working! People ACTUALLY believe that shit you’re saying about me!”

“You tell them that I’m a bad boyfriend or that I chased after you knowing you were in a relationship. We both know that’s bullshit and I don’t know why you keep doing that while you keep coming back to me like you’ve done nothing wrong! I don’t get it, Y/N! Let’s just end this, please!”

The tension was thick. You didn’t know what to do or what to say.

“We’ve been breaking up and getting back together since 2015! You tell everyone that you’re sick of me because I’m ‘toxic’, but you love me again after every failed date with a famous actor. So much has happened that nothing can fix us anymore.” Evan said sadly. “We’ve been on and off for 9 years and I think it’s time for me to choose myself. I need that; you need that.”

You walked out and ran to your shared room, slamming the door. You didn’t know what came over you. Whatever you saw, you threw it across the room

That’s how you ended up in your current state. You hated fighting with Evan, but he was right. It’s time to end your relationship.

“I love you with everything in me, Evan.”

“If you love me as you say you do, promise me that you won’t say stuff about me to the media. You’ve already tarnished my name, don’t drag it along the muck and the mud. If you love me, you’ll respect that.” Evan pleaded. “I’ve never said anything about you, have I? I kept all your secrets and I kept all my emotions bottled up just so you could keep the name I helped you build.”

“I promise.” You said. He had endured so much. You didn’t want him to go through it all again. “I love you, Evan.” You repeated. He gave you a tight-lipped smile, “I love you too. You’ll always have a special place in my heart.”

Both of you decided to move out a week later, neither of you wanted to stay at the once shared apartment, afraid of the ghosts of your past coming to haunt you every night. You stayed in the same city, in the same area. Oftentimes, you found yourself driving to the old apartment just to stare at it longingly before driving away.

As for Evan, you didn’t know where he moved away to. He never told you where he lived, but you hoped he was living a quiet and peaceful life. He deserved it after dealing with a chaos like you.

You never saw him again. Not at award shows, not at after parties, and not at random get-togethers with mutual friends. You heard that he hasn’t contacted anyone in your circle of friends. Eventually, you moved on and dated Timothee Chalamet. Evan was right. Maybe you did have a routine, you just weren’t aware.

A year passed and still, no one has heard from him, so it surprised you to see his name on the list of nominees for Best Actor at the Oscars. You didn’t know he filmed a movie. He just went AWOL and came back like nothing happened.

At the Oscars, you sat on the section next to Evan’s, but you were one row behind. You caught a glimpse of him, smiling at other A-list celebrities before sitting down. The whole time you felt like you were in limbo until you heard that it was time to announce the winner for the Best Actor category. You were on the edge of your seat as you watched the presenter announce who the winner was.

Timothee, who sat next to you, silently prayed while keeping his cool. He knew cameras were everywhere and it made him anxious.

“And the Academy Award for Best Actor goes to… Evan Peters!” The presenter smiled.

Evan was shocked. He didn’t expect to win. He stood up, shook hands with his co-stars, and walked up on stage. Timothee was devastated, but he smiled, nonetheless. Evan thanked the presenter before receiving the award.

“Wow.” Evan said with a smile before looking down at the shiny, gold award. “I’ve dreamt about this for so long and now that it’s finally happening, I don’t know what to say.”

Your heart soared. He was still the same Evan you once knew and loved, yet something felt different about him. He was like a stranger, but he wasn’t.

He looked ahead and met your eyes. He gave you a curt smile before thanking every single person he wanted to thank.

“I want to thank the entire cast and crew. Without you guys, there’d be no movie to film. Thank you to the amazing casting director who believed in me and I share this award with you because you’re the one who picked me out of hundreds of better actors. Thank you to my family who has been supportive since day one and thank you to the undying support of my loving fans. You guys are the reason I’m still here. The last few years have been really hard for me, especially last year, but I’m very happy to say that no matter what hardship you’re going through, good karma is on its way to hit you. Again, thank you!” Evan smiled and walked off stage.

Everyone clapped and the same presenter announced the nominees for your category, Best Actress. You were extremely nervous. Win or lose, you knew you did a great job. Timothee held your hand and squeezed it lightly before giving it a kiss when your name was announced as a nominee right after Jennifer Lawrence. “And the Academy Award for Best Actress goes to… Y/N Y/L/N!”

Your jaw dropped and Timothee cheered the loudest. He stood up and he helped you up before pulling you in for a hug. “Congratulations, mon amour!” Timothee smiled before kissing your cheek.

You thanked him before walking to the stage. You thanked the presenter as they handed you the award. You glanced at Evan and he gave you a small smile. You held his gaze for a few seconds before starting your speech.

“There’s so many people to thank, but there’s so little time.” You chuckled lightly. “Thank you to the Academy, thank you to the cast and crew, thank you to my family and friends who have been supporting me since forever! My fans! Oh god, my loving fans! Thank you for your unwavering support. Timmy, my love, thank you for sticking with me during tough times. Lastly, I just want to say a quick shoutout and a quick thank you to Evan. I wouldn’t be here without you and I kinda owe you a lot and words of thanks are not enough, but I hope it’s a start. Thank you, truly.”

Evan didn’t expect that. He didn’t expect anything at all. He just wanted peace and now he felt like the world was watching him again through your point of view. He didn’t want the attention. He thought the attention was unnecessary. Now he knew for sure that people would talk about it on social media. 

The after party was a blast and everyone was busy dancing, talking, and having fun. Evan was minding his own business like usual and you didn’t know if you should approach or not. As you stood up, you were whisked away by Timothee, who wanted to introduce you to Zendaya and Tom Holland. You smiled at him before glancing back at Evan. As if he knew you were watching, he looked up from his phone and glanced at you. He gave you a tight-lipped smile and he raised his glass before paying attention to his phone once more. It was at that moment you knew that you and Evan won’t get back together and won’t even be friends. You looked away from him and never looked back.

----

A/N: This is my first Evan fic sksksks I have another one in store

[chaifootsteps]

idk i just feel like there's something particularly cruel about having a solid episode concept like "verosika hosts a fuck you party for blitz and everyone else he's fucked over," because its a great way to show a pattern of behavior in blitz and the effect he has on others he's been with and hurt!

then.. they put stolas there. stolas, "you have sex with me every month or your I.M.P is going under without my book you need, no exceptions until i legally gave you an asmodean crystal a year later, for your work", goetia, or whatever the fuck his last name is.

this episode is trying so hard to make stolas on equal levels to verosika and the other imps dumped by blitz, but if any of these hellborn actually knew how he got into a "relationship" with blitz to begin with, and how blitz never even had a choice in whether or not he wants to be with stolas, (even when they were kids!) i really doubt theyd want anything to do with him. stolas never explains that their relationship wasnt a relationship, just a transactional monthly hookup to literally keep blitz's business afloat. he doesn't, because he STILL doesn't fully understand what he did wrong, but understands it enough to know he had to be the one to break off the deal he made. i doubt he'll ever actually explain what the deal was to any outsiders who ask, because then stolas would be forced to actually be held accountable for his own actions, and we cant possibly have that! /sar

i think one of the worst lines from stolas in this episode, aside from most of them because i think hes annoying, was when blitz expressed he didnt know why anyone would care about him, stolas responds that this party, dedicated to blitz, because they hate him so much, shows how much they ""care."" and that might have some kind of point coming out of verosikas mouth- implying that these people genuinely cared for him at one point and he pushed them away- but absolutely not stolas's. so its no wonder that blitz responds by self deprecating himself, saying, "i dont even know why youd want to be with me." followed by stolas admitting that what he really wants is someone to care about him.

and honestly, thats another thing too. i cant believe that after everything, after everything stolas has claimed about wanting blitz because he loves and respects him, when blitz then asks WHY stolas wants him, stolas responds, "you know what i want? i want to know what its like to not be alone. i want to be someone's someone. i want someone to care about me." because it shouldve been his moment to explain to blitz what he sees in him, and why he fell in love with him to begin with the more they slept together. but it wasnt.

not only is it unbelievably selfish of stolas to make blitz go through all of this for almost a year, to not only have NO reason as to why he has/had feelings for blitz, (basically confirming to me that stolas never really cared about blitz or his feelings, still doesn't, and just needed to have an adult relationship someone who didn't outwardly hate his guts like stella did, because were 2 and a half fucking seasons into this show and still dont know why the love interest romantically wants the main character, and die hard viv stans still think the stoliz insta posts count as canon because they're on copium,) but to ignore the one good thing in his life that he insists that he genuinely loves, octavia, in favor of him acting as if he'll die alone completely if he doesn't have a partner..

y'know that one scene in adventure time where jake is like, "dude.. let's kill the horse."? thats how i feel towards stolas right now.

Let's kill the owl.

I'm so tired, Anon.

[i-hope-this-is-a-phase]

Insult to Injury

Homeward Bound by Zuesue for @honelle56 (T | WIP | 3k)

#bathing/washing #hurt/comfort Dream and George want to go home. They find it together.

Thank you to everyone who commented and shared my fic yesterday! Here's the penultimate chapter.

Happy reading!

(Fic under the cut for those who prefer reading on Tumblr)

The nurses wake George every couple of hours. They say they’re monitoring his vitals, but Dream knows enough to understand they’re making sure his concussion isn't getting worse.

George is accommodating, but Dream knows the lack of sleep is getting to him. He isn’t grouchy to the nurses (of course he isn’t) but by the fifth check-in, he’s demanding Dream for a smoothie.

“It’s six a.m. George.”

“Gimme smoothie.” His voice is smothered by the pillow he’s placed over his eyes. The lights are still dimmed, but maybe the headache is getting worse from the lack of sleep. “I want a smoothie.”

“George—”

“Now, Dream.”

Dream sighs, but he stands up from his chair. He stretches. “Anything else you want, my King?”

“No, that will be all peasant.” George shoos him away, and Dream chuckles to himself while he goes in search of the cafeteria.

If he’s being honest, Dream hasn’t slept the entire night. The chair was too uncomfortable, plus he’s been too busy researching concussion recovery and texting Sapnap all the things they need to buy. He’s sent Sapnap at least a dozen articles on Discord of various products money can buy. And, his schedule is already fucked, so what’s one more sleepless night if he can make George feel a little more comfortable when he gets home.

“So, good news and bad news,” Dream announces as he walks back into George’s room.

George rolls over and flips him off.

“Bad news: there were no smoothies in the cafeteria.”

“Ugh.” George starts sitting up, rubbing his eyes. “Okay.”

“But, good news is,” Dream says, producing two smoothies from behind his back, “you can apparently fucking DoorDash the hospital.”

George laughs as Dream hands him his smoothie. The two drink in silence for a moment. It’s good, the smoothie. Dream doesn’t often go for the sugary smoothies, but he didn’t feel like ordering something else. Besides, he gets to share the experience with George, which counts as a win in his book.

“Has Sapnap texted yet?” George asks.

Dream thinks of the last text he had gotten from Sapnap at 3 a.m., reading dude shut the fuck up and go to sleep. “Uh—well.” He takes a big slurp of his smoothie. “He hasn’t texted if the house is ready yet.”

George grumbles. “We can’t leave yet even if it was,” Dream adds. “The nurses haven't come by to discharge you.”

“But I’m fine, Dream. Take me home now.”

Dream takes another sip from his smoothie as he shakes his head. “Not yet,” he says. “Not until the nurses discharge you.”

“Now.”

“No.”

“Now.”

“No.”

“Dreeeeeaaaam,” George whines. He takes another big sip of his smoothie before putting it down on the bedside tray and flopping dramatically onto the bed. He pouts for a moment, but then he stops. He looks up at Dream with wide, soft eyes, and practically flutters his eyelashes. “Please?” he pleads, giving him an innocent look. “Ask? For me?”

Dream sighs again. No wonder Sapnap says I don’t have a backbone. “I’ll…go talk to the nurses.”

“Thank you!” George smiles, the small, real one he only gives Dream (and sometimes Sapnap), and when Dream leaves the room to look for the nurse, Dream thinks maybe it’s alright that his soft spot is for George.

It takes a few more hours (much to George’s chagrin), but the nurses eventually clear George to go home. Dream has bought George a pair of women’s sunglasses from the shop (“They have the best coverage and darkest lens George!”), so with George’s eyes closed to block the sun, Dream is able to lead him by the arm to the car without a problem.

Driving back is a weird experience. Dream feels himself being extra careful on the road, even though it wasn’t really a car accident that got George injured. He’s mindful of every bump, every turn on the road. He can’t help but wonder if George is thinking about it too, or if he’s just being paranoid.

When they get home, George says he feels gross and wants to take a shower. And before he can stop himself, Dream blurts out: “Why don’t you use my bathroom.”

George turns to look at him. They’re still sitting in the garage, waiting for Sapnap to confirm the lights are off or dimmed in the house, and Dream curses himself for starting this conversation in a confined space where he can’t run away. “Uh,” George says. “Why?”

“Well—you see, my bathroom has an adjustable light switch.”

George stares at him. Dream fidgets with his hands. “I know,” George says. “Mine does too.”

“Yeah—well, I also have candles if you don’t want that, and bath bombs and, um, oils—not for that!” he exclaims at George’s face. “They’re for scents, essential oil shit. You shouldn’t use them for—I don’t use them for jerking off, and you don’t have to either, wait—”

“Dream.” George is full-on grinning now, and Dream’s face burns. “Who said anything about jerking off?”

“...I did. But you don’t—don’t have to, unless you want to, but then don’t use those, I have other stuff—not that you are going to, y’know, but if you wanted to, I can get you—”

George is full-on laughing now, and Dream feels helplessly embarrassed.

“Shut up! It’s been a day, I don’t know what you want.”

“And you think I need to jerk off?”

“Oh my god—”

“Fine, okay, I’ll use your stupid bath,” George says. “Will that make you happy?”

“Yes.” Dream nods, then pauses. “Will you need—”

“No, Dream.”

Dream’s phone buzzes with a text. He immediately grabs it, glad to have a distraction from this conversation. Never mind that he caused it. “It’s Nick,” he says. “We’re clear to go in. I’ll uh.” He gestures vaguely. “I’ll get it prepared while you grab your stuff.”

“Okay.” George is still smiling. Dream nods again, and gets out of the car, opening George’s door before walking toward the exit. Before he shuts the door behind him, he hears George call out, “Dream?”

Dream turns back around.

“Don’t grab the lube.”

He feels his face heat, and he can hear George’s laugh echoing behind him as walks away.

Goddamnit.

About ten minutes later, Dream has the bath prepared, with candles placed along the counter and floor. He’s using the cheap plastic candles because the real ones he has would flicker, and he’s not sure if those would hurt George’s eyes or not.

There’s a knock on the door, and Dream looks up from where he’s fiddling with the bath bombs. “Come in!” he calls.

George walks in, holding a towel and pajamas. He stops. “Dream,” he says. “What the fuck.”

“Okay, look.” He gestures at the quite substantial number of products on the ground and around the bathroom. “I didn’t know what you wanted—”

“So you bought out the drugstore?”

“Shut up, there’s not that much.”

George places his clothing and towel on the counter and walks over to the assortment of bath supplies. “Dream, this is crazy.” He picks up two bottles and squints at them. “Why do you have two shampoos?”

“Stop that, you’re not supposed to be reading right now.” He grabs the bottles out of his hand. “The fans send me products, and I don’t want them to go to waste.”

“Why don’t you just give them to your sister?”

“Wow, can’t believe GeorgeNotFound is sexist.” George freezes at that remark, and Dream backtracks. “No, wait, don’t listen to that. Dumb joke.” He clears his throat. “I do give them to my sisters. And my mom. But, some of the stuff is good, and I do occasionally use some.”

George rolls his eyes, but he gets up. “Whatever Dream. Just get me the normal stuff then.”

Dream scoffs at that, but he grabs a fairly typical shampoo and soap and puts it closer to the tub. He grabs one of the seven bath bombs he has (he likes them okay?), and places it on the edge of the tub.

“You just put it in the water and it’ll—why are you shirtless?”

George looks at him like he’s crazy. “Because I’m about to take a bath?”

“Yeah—but I’m still here.”

“Well, no one asked you to be.”

Dream’s face heats, but he stops messing with the bath and gets up. “Well, then.” He waves his hand. “I’ll get out of your way.” He heads to the door.

“Wait.”

Dream looks back over his shoulder. George has turned to where he’s standing. He shifts his weight to his other foot. Mumbles something.

“What did you say?”

“I said,” George says, “you could stay if you wanted.”

Everything gets quiet in Dream’s head. “Huh?”

George does a half-shrug with his shoulder, but he shifts his weight again. Nervous. “Well, you smell as bad as me right now.”

“Wha—I don’t smell.”

“—and you didn’t shower last night because you were with me, so.” He looks up into Dream’s eyes, and something must give him the wrong impression because George begins to backtrack. “It’s not like I’m forcing you to stay, Dream, you can say no.”

“I mean—I don’t.” Dream feels off-kilter. “Do you even want me to stay?”

George scoffs at that. “Why would I ask if I didn’t want you to stay?”

“Well—okay, that’s true.” He thinks about it for a moment.

Since George has arrived, their relationship has taken some…interesting turns.

He should’ve expected as much. His friendship with George has never been typical, and he should have anticipated that, on George’s first night home, he would end up in Dream’s bed.

“How are you still awake,” Dream had asked when George came barging in after the fireworks.

“Can’t keep up with my stamina?” George had teased, which had made Dream choke on a laugh.

“You’re so fucking weird George.” Dream had laid back down on the bed, and a moment later, he had felt George lifting the sheets up and climbing in as well.

There was a beat of silence, and then the bed shifted as George turned to face him. “Is this okay?” he had asked.

Dream had turned his head as well to look at him. He could feel the way the bed dipped closer, the extra warmth from another body in the sheets. ”Uh, yeah,” Dream had said. “It’s—um, like we’re sleepcalling, but IRL, right?”

George had scoffed, and Dream had felt the air on his face. Not exactly like sleepcalling, he had thought, but Dream couldn’t say it wasn’t a welcome change. “You’re so dumb,” George had replied, but even in the dark, Dream could see his smile.

It had only taken a few moments more for them to fall asleep, and even though it wasn’t a regular occurrence for them to share, boundaries between them had never adjusted to “normal ass friendship boundaries,” as Sapnap put it after he caught them napping together on the couch.

“I can, um, stay, yeah."

George smiled. “Alright.” George started pulling down his pants, and Dream immediately averted his eyes. “Get naked then.”

This isn’t weird, he tells himself. They’ve shared a bed. They’ve cuddled for hours at a time. They even kissed twice: once on New Year’s, when the high of finally being home and being able to embrace the new year together ended with a soft peck and a firm hug; another after a drunken night in January when they were, once again, in love with life and in love being together. Not, together together, and not in love with each other. Just very happy to share a life. Together.

(Even if that night had also ended in a bed, snuggled warm and close.)

It honestly won’t even be the first time he had been naked around George. Their house had an open-door policy that included bathrooms: if George needed something, he would often walk in while Drem was changing or in the bath.

And even though Dream tried to be respectful of George’s space when he first arrived, George allowed him to see. Whether that was inviting Dream in while he was taking a shit, or it was insisting Dream stay by his side while the doctor gave him steroids, there was little Dream had not seen of George’s body.

And yet, this felt different. More intense. More intimate.

Dream pulls his hoodie over his head and shucks off his sweatpants. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees George getting into the bath, so as soon as he’s naked, he walks over to join.

Only to come across a problem.

“Where do I go?”

George looks at him as if he is losing it. “Inside the bathtub.”<

“Yeah—but like, where do I sit?” If he sits on George's opposite side, their legs would be too close together to be comfortable, and this is supposed to help George relax, not make him more uncomfortable. Maybe this is a bad idea, maybe he should leave—

“You’re gonna sit behind me. Obviously.”

“That is—that is not obvious!” he sputters. “It’s perfectly reasonable to ask where I’m going to sit if we’re two men sharing a bath.”

“So,” George says. “It’d be different if we were heterosexual;?”

“...what!?”

George dissolves into giggles. “Wow, I can’t believe Dream is homophobic.”

“I don’t—I’m not—whatever, scoot over.” George moves forward so Dream can climb in behind him, and, suddenly, they’re sharing a bath.

t’s still a bit tight. They’re two grown men, after all, and the bath was built for one occupant, not two.

But, it’s nice.

Really nice.

It’s a tad slippery. They don’t smell the greatest. Dream’s dick is literally against George’s back. It should be awkward.

But all those facts aren’t what Dream is focusing on.

George is a solid weight against his chest. He’s not that small, but against Dream, he feels small. Like Dream can hold him here, keep him safe from the world.

His arms are around George’s waist because of the position, and he can feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes. If he wanted to, he could put his hands on George’s stomach and feel the softness of his tummy and the muscles beneath. If he went lower, he could feel so much more.

He doesn’t. He doesn’t want to. Not right now. This is a tender moment. A quiet moment. Right now, he wants to hold his best friend and relax after their ordeal.

And so, he does just that.

He reaches over and places the bath bomb he picked into the water. It fizzles as it dissolves, and George reaches out to touch it, delighted. While he’s distracted, Dream pours some shampoo into his hand. George’s hair is already wet, so he lathers his hands up and begins rubbing circles into George’s scalp.

He will go to his grave before he ever tells George, but when George had gotten his hair for him, he wondered what it would feel like under his hands. At the had rationalized it as loneliness. Maybe it was, in part. The pre face-reveal times were not without loneliness.

But, another part understood that he wanted to know because he wanted to know everything about George.

Because they’re best friends.

It isn’t an extraordinary experience. It’s just washing hair. However, as he’s rubbing the shampoo into George’s scalp, it soothes him in an almost intrinsic way.

He’s taking care of George. He’s making his head, the injured part of him, feel better. He’s making his best friend happy.

It isn’t long before he’s gathering water and pouring it over George’s head (making sure to shield his eyes first of course). Before he’s able to start on his body, George asks, “Can I wash your hair too?”

“Uh.” He can’t think of a reason to decline. “Sure.”

George grabs the bottle from the side and turns to face Dream. The water gets dangerously close to spilling out, so Dream helps him move until George is perched on Dream’s thighs. He’s looking into George’s eyes without needing to look down, for once.

“You’re so small,” he tells him, and George smacks Dream’s head. “Ow!”

“I am not.” George pours some shampoo into his hands and begins lathering it between his fingers.

“That’s not fair—I can’t even hit you back.”

There’s a beat of silence.

George stops soaping his hands.

“Well,” he finally says. “Sorry to disappoint.”

“George—“

“Tilt your head toward me,” he interrupts Dream before he can say…something. He obliges, giving his head as an offering.

George takes his time getting the shampoo into the roots of his hair, then gently applies the rest while making sure he doesn’t pull on his curls. It’s more methodical than what Dream did, but he’s as thorough. He's good at taking care of Dream.

He's always good at taking care of Dream.

A minute later, he’s scooping water to rinse out the suds, brushing the hair out of Dream’s eyes when he’s done. Their eyes meet for a moment, and for a brief instant, Dream thinks, He’s perfect.

The rest of the bath goes without incident. They take turns using the body wash on each other, rinsing with the bath water, and shifting positions for better angles. It’s easy. It’s simple. It’s Dream and George, of course it would be.

They get out of the bath, taking turns drying the other off before facing away as they get changed. They don’t need to, they’ve already seen everything. But it feels right in the moment.

They make their way back into the bedroom, and Dream offers to nap together since they didn’t get much sleep.

“We can watch Better Call Saul with the stuff blind people use so you can understand.”

“I have a concussion, I’m not blind, Dream.”

“Yeah, but you can’t look at the screen, so.” George looks incredulously at him, so Dream changes tactics. “Or, we could just talk. We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”

George gives him the soft smile again, but he shakes his head. “I’m good.” He reaches out and grasps Dream’s hand. Squeezes. One. Two. Three times. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours, alright?”

Dream nods. George turns and leaves the room.

And even though George isn’t with him, the bed feels warm when Dream falls asleep.