#my dms are open but i may take a business week to answer

[runcriedthecrawlingif]

Im super excited to see what happens next in this if. I also love the paintings you're choosing for each chapter! I was curious if you knew the art history behind these paintings, I took an art history course about the depictions of animals in art and we discussed similar-if not the same-paintings in the class and the themes are so similar to ur if! I'm totally down to send a message abt it but I figured I'd give you some forewarning beforehand lol. Good luck with your writing!!

I would love to learn more about them! I've read a short essay by John Berger on the depiction of animals in art but I definitely need a refresher.

The paintings are all by Otto Marseus Van Schrieck and most of them come from his "Forest Ground" series (which felt very appropriate for the story.)

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Unraveled 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: A curious man wanders into your dress shop with a lot of questions.

Characters: Sherlock Holmes (Cavill)

Note: I hope you all enjoy this random idea.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

One hand guides the fabric as the other turns the wheel. Your work is slow but steady, every stitch perfect, every seam precise. Your fare may be modest and your product simple, but its quality cannot be contested. Your labour as yourself is honest and plain.

The noise of the machine is your only company. The one-room shop nestled behind the butcher’s rarely sees a customer through its door. Instead, the orders are sent from the factories, returned with the printed adverts you disperse outside their doors. The writs are sent along with an envelope of pence and shilling and you complete each with equal diligence before sending them back bundled in paper and twine.

The operation isn’t especially fruitful but the profit is enough to subsist. Enough to guarantee your independence; a small apartment just above and a pot of stew to last you through each week. This humble existence is preferable to any marriage you’ve witnessed. 

The letters from your sisters reaffirm your spinster’s fate. You’d rather a hand wheel and a needle than a brood and broken back. A husband seems to provide several jobs at once, you’ll happily settle for one.

As your hands work from memory and your head wanders from tedium, the bell above the door gives a single sharp toll. You ease the wheel to a halt and leave the seam unfinished. You peer up above the black iron machine, reminding yourself to fix your hunch as a client enters. You can’t but wonder if he may have come to the wrong shop.

By his attire, he is a class above the factory women who require gray skirts and simple stays. His waistcoat is embroidered and his jacket is pressed and clean. He is tall, locks part tidily so his curls lay gracefully. His face is fresh-shaven, square jaw with a cleft, and shoulders broad and strong. He does not share the same sinewy gauntness as the labourers with the coal-dusted noses.

He carries a fine leather bag. Another clue to his status. His shoes, another. Polished and without creases.

You stand to greet him, “good afternoon, sir. Might I help you with something?”

His answer is not prompt. He takes in the finished dresses hung by the east wall and turns to examine the rolls of wool and cotton. At last, he returns his attention to you.

“Afternoon,” his deep timbre fills the small space, “you are the dressmaker.”

It isn’t a question, but you answer, “I am.”

He narrows his eyes as he approaches your desk, the sole fixture in the space. From without, the shop is just as bare. The blackened windows offer not insight into the business, its only suggestion the sign hung above the door, though the paint requires a fresh coat.

“And the shop owner?”

“That is me as well, sir,” you assert. The presumption is not uncommon.

“Ah,” he accepts your explanation without comment, “so, you will have sewn this.”

He puts his bag on the desk, nearly knocking your shears from the corner. You try not to flinch as they teeter near the edge and he pulls open the top of the leather bag. He pulls out a swath of grey. You recognise it and he rolls the cuff to show your initials sewn within.

“Sir,” you say precariously, “is there some issue with it? Is it your wife’s dress?”

“Wife? No, no,” he dismisses, feeling the fabric between his fingers, “rather I am in search of the dress’s owner. The initial must belong to them, yes? So you would have a name for the buyer.”

“Mm, no, those are mine,” you point at the letters, “as it is my handiwork.”

“That makes sense,” he frowns in disappointment. “So you wouldn’t know who would wear it?”

You rub your chapped lips together. You find your tongue sliding over them often when you work, turning them raw with the habit. The man’s lips are rosy and smooth, as well-kempt as the rest of him. He is no factory worker’s husband.

“I might… would you take it out?” You ask.

He obliges as you pluck up the metal cylinder from your desk and unfurl the tape measure from within. He shakes out the dress, holding it by the shoulders to reveal salt stains along the skirts and unleashing a dingy smell in the shop. You wiggle your nose at the stench but worse roils in from the butcher’s on hot days.

You take the measure of the sleeves and the waist, then to the hem. You scribble the numbers on a scrap and take that to compare with your ledger. The measurements are in now way defining but might narrow it down. He keeps the dress aloft and you return to him to check the thread along the seams. A few months ago, you changed the thickness as the factory workers complained of splits under the arms.

“Hm, it is a recent purchase,” you assure him and return to the ledge. 

He lowers the dress and approaches. You snap the book closed and turn your face up to consider him once more, “why do you need to know, if it is not your wife?”

“You are very discerning,” he remarks as he folds the dress and drapes it over his bag, “I’m certain then you can surmise the woman who wore this dress did not meet a kind fate.” He tugs up the hem and shows a tear trimmed in scarlet, the colour not obvious from a distance. “Holmes, Sherlock Holmes. I’m a detective and I’m trying to identify a poor woman found not far from here. I believe it is in your own interest that I discover her assailant.”

“I cannot say for certain which she is,” you turn over the scrap and re-open the ledger. You write down three names which match the measurements and hold the paper out to him. He takes it, his thick fingertips brushing yours. “Those are the ones which align with the dress.”

“Mm,” he hums as he tucks the paper into his chest pocket, “and your name? I couldn’t make it out on the sign.”

You recite your name flatly, “it isn’t on the sign.”

“It requires new paint,” he admonishes, “I could hardly find you.”

“I am aware,” you reply. “Thank you for noting.”

He’s quiet, “being a detective, however, I did indeed put together the clues.”

Is he making a joke? You cannot tell. He folds up the dress completely and puts it back in the leather bag. The smell persists.

“What are you prices?” He asks abruptly.

“Sir, I sew dresses for factory women, sometimes a few communion pieces, but I’m afraid I don’t do much suit work.”

“My sister requires a dress,” he sniffs, “as simple as it is, I can see your work is fine.”

“I have only wools and cottons,” you counter.

“Do you always turn away business?” He challenges.

“I wasn’t, sir, I’m only clarifying what I currently do. My prices are set for those fabrics,” you explain.

“I will pay for the muslin and velvet,” he waves his hand staunchly, “you will be paid for your labour. Can you sew with more than wool and cotton?”

“I can, sir, but you could find a ready-made dress in a market boutique if the dress is required promptly.”

“I can afford the time and coin,” he insists. “You are not a talented advertiser, are you?”

You’re taken aback by his bluntness. Often, his ilk have that demeanour. It’s why you’d rather the factory workers and the fish sellers’ wives.

“I suppose not,” you agree, “I would need measurements before I begin. You may send the numbers along with the fabric, then. And I would require a style. Perhaps your sister is a purveyor of fashion magazines?”

“I will send a messenger,” he shrugs. “Thank you for your time. I shan't get in your way any longer.”

“Good day, sir.”

“Good day to you,” he takes the bag from your desk and the shears fall to the floor with a clatter.

You skirt around to grab them as he bends and swipes them up first. You recoil as he closes the blades with a snap. He examines them before placing them back on the desk.

“Apologies,” he says, “and miss,” he looks at you, “take to heart what I’ve told you today. Keep away from the allies and perhaps you may consider locking your door.”

“Thank you, sir, your concern is appreciated.”

“Rather you might just keep those close, eh,” he points to the shears and his cheek dimples.

Again, you can’t be certain of his humour. You keep a placid expression, neither smiling nor scowling. He clears his throat and runs his hand down his jacket, gripping the lapel.

“Very well then, I’ll be off.”

He turns on his heel and marches to the door. You stay by the desk as the bell rings with his departure. Once the door closes, you cross the shop. You turn the lock into place, his foreboding lingering with the stale scent of dirty water.

🪡

Despite the unusual visit, your days roll on like a hand on a clock. The thought of the woman’s tragic fate looms like a shadow but fades. You have too much stitching to do to fret over that man and his ominous words. You assume his interest in your work thereafter was wholly feigned as he does not return.

That day, you pass off six parcels to Eustace, the driver who takes them down to the stacks to hand off to the floor bosses who will parse them out to the women they’ve been cut for. You pay him his toll before he climbs back into the seat of his cart, his horse kicking impatiently.

“Excuse me, sir,” another driver clops up along the other side of the street, a narrow squeeze between the slanting buildings. “I’m in search of a dressmaker. I believe the store is tucked behind the butcher’s and…” the man’s voice drifts off as his eyes flit to the meat sellers marquee.

“Right here, good sir,” Eustace responds, “wouldn’t ya know, she’s right here.”

You lift your chin to see past the cart and spy the driver. He removes his cap as his gaze meets yours. Eustache dips his chin as he adjusts his own hat and snaps his old mare into a canter. As you're left alone with the carriage driver, a vehicle rather lofty for a block like this, you fold your hands behind you.

“Sir, you hardly look in need of a work woman’s dress,” you say.

“Miss,” he ties the reins off and jumps down from his seat, “I am sent for you, not a dress.”

“For me?” You echo.

“Mr. Holmes has sent,” he crosses the muck and nearly slips. “He said he made an appointment for a seamstress.”

“An appointment? I wasn’t informed of the time,” you rebuff. “I’ve a shop to run, orders paid for. I can’t simply leave.”

“Ah, yes, Mr. Holmes made mention of a fee,” the man feels around his striped coat, “he said a deposit would be needed.”

He takes out a brown envelope and hands it over. You take it, a small weight within. You look at the driver before you pull back the flap and peek inside. A large gold sovereign sits in the corner of the paper; a whole pound. That’s at least three days work.

You hold your breath, trying to maintain some composure. If that’s the deposit, what is he offering for the rest? You slip out the folded paper within, a page torn from a fashion journal. The dress is elegant if not extravagant. You don’t often do off-the-shoulder or ruffles like that but it isn’t beyond your skill.

You fold the flap closed again and lift your chin to face the driver, “I must lock up, you see?”

“Take your time, miss,” he says kindly. “Mr. Holmes isn’t expecting you to hurry.”

“Thank you, sir,” you bow your head and turn away.

You measure your steps along the facade of the butcher’s shop and curl around to the alleyway. You let yourself into your shop and tuck the envelope into your apron pocket. You take your sewing bag from under the desk and shake off the dust. You don’t often have reason to use it.

You open it up and pack away your shears, a measuring tape, pins with a cushion, your notebook, and a few other bits and bobs. Just in case. You grab a role of linen from against the wall. It’s heavy but you can manage.

You take the key from your desk drawer and switch off the overhead light. You lock the door and continue back out to the street. The driver puffs smoke from a pipe as he waits.

“Miss, allow me,” he snuffs out the pipe and puts it in his pocket. He nears and reaches for the roll of linen.

“It’s quite alright, sir,” you say.

“I insist, miss, can’t have a lady doing all that,” he takes it, not forcefully, and you let him.

As he goes to the carriage and opens the door, you give pause. You don’t know if you should be so easily swayed on a gold coin. Mr. Holmes hadn’t been entirely pleasant and you do prefer your simple work. Still, you can hardly turn your nose up at a pound. Not with the summer fizzling to a finale.

You lift your skirts and cross the street to the open carriage, “sir, might I have a name?”

“Gavin,” he answers, “and I have yours. Mr. Holmes made sure of it.”

“Yes, very good,” you say as you approach, another sliver of doubt trickling through. Mr. Holmes claimed to be a detective but is that really the reason he was strolling around with a dead woman’s dress? You gulp and look at Gavin then the carriage, “might I keep the window open?”

“Surely you can,” he agrees amiably. “Mr. Holmes lives quite a ways, shouldn’t mind the air. I’ll be certain to stay away from the stacks.”

“Thank you, sir,” you accept his proffered hand and he helps you up into the carriage. 

You settle on the bench as the door shuts and you open the window from within. You lean back, your hand grasping the top of your bag. You unclasp it as you feel Gavin climb up on the driver’s seat. You dip your hand inside and clutch your long shears.

You don’t forget all of what Mr. Holmes said.

[yandereworlds]

「 INDEX + INTRODUCTION 」

˚₊‧🔪WELCOME TO MY YANDERE BLOG! I mainly make content for my own original characters and occasionally, fandom related stuff. This blog is strictly 16+ and run by two people.

My name is Kiki (She/Her) and I am 18+. I’m the one that mainly provides the art and bots that you’ll find throughout this blog and sometimes, I write headcanons/imagines as well. My writer is Rose (She/Her, 18+) and she’s responsible for writing the fanfictions and some of the drabbles. To make it easy for you to know who's behind each post, you'll see either 'Mun Kiki', 'Mun Rose', or both credited in the tags.

We started this blog because we had numerous ideas for yandere characters. Given my background as an artist and Rose's talent as a writer, it seemed like a natural fit. I'm primarily creating this post to serve as a guide for navigating the blog. I've received numerous asks about accessing the characters' backgrounds, information, as well as questions regarding my bots, projects, commissions, socials, and other related topics. You can use this post as a reference FAQ or as a comprehensive guide to streamline your experience on the blog. 

Find that you enjoy our work? Consider leaving a tip, it’s greatly appreciated and helps the blog. Also, if you’d like to be able to be more involved with our creative process and engage with the community, you can join our Discord server here. 

╰┈➤ ASK RULES - OPEN!

✦ Absolutely no NSFW asks. This blog is 16+ for a reason, so obviously, we will be trashing asks related to sexual topics. 

✦ We’re allowed not to answer certain asks. If you’ve been spamming the same ask and we haven’t responded to it for months, it’s most likely because we aren't comfortable doing so OR we’ve already answered an ask similar to yours.

✦ We will not be answering any asks regarding self-harm, eating disorders, extreme gore, noncon or any topics that could be associated with them. 

✦ Finally, we kindly request your patience. We understand that it may take some time to address each individual ask, as we both have busy lives and there may be periods when we don't post asks for weeks. Please refrain from rushing us, and rest assured, we will eventually get to your ask. 

╰┈➤ YANDERE MASTERLISTS 

Original Yandere Masterlist

Fandom Yandere Masterlist

╰┈➤ CHARACTER AI + JANITOR AI

If you've been following this account for some time, you're likely aware that I frequently share my character bots here. I've received numerous asks about which bots are available and where to find them online. While I plan to compile a list of my bots soon, for now, I'll provide links to both of my accounts for future reference.

It's worth noting that I'm currently on a temporary hiatus from Character AI due to site complications. Consequently, most of my recent bots can be found on Janitor AI, where I'm more active. Before visiting either site, please be aware that Janitor AI is intended for users aged 18 and above, whereas Character AI caters to a younger audience. In other words, minors stay off JanitorAI!

My Character AI profile - 1, 2, 3, 4

My Janitor AI profile (18+) - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Wish to request a bot from me? You can find the information here.

╰┈➤ ART COMMISSION INFO - OPEN

Pretty self explanatory. If you're interested in commissioning artwork from me, simply click the link to access my commission page. Currently, I'm accepting payments through both PayPal and Cashapp. Below is a brief FAQ regarding my commissions. Should you have any further questions, don't hesitate to contact me!

Can you draw my OC with your characters?

✦ Yes, absolutely! Just provide me a reference and what you'd like specifically. We can discuss all the details in DM's.

Can you draw a character from 'this fandom' for me?

✦ I'm completely fine with drawing fandom related content. The only fandoms I will not draw under any circumstance is youtubers, Your Boyfriend, Country Humans, BTD and Killing Stalking. Otherwise, I'm open to whatever.

Can you draw a comic for me?

✦ Yes, but only short comics. You can let me know what you'd like the short comic to be about and all that fun stuff. Just know comics from me will likely be around $20-$40+ dollars depending how detailed and complex you'd like it to be.

[sturniolopepsi]

‘tis the season…for seasonal depression (C.S)

cw: talks seasonal depression/anxiety/ED (LIGHTLY) (read at own risk please!) use of y/n ¿ANGST i think¿

req: no i was listening to “Can’t catch me now” by Olivia Rodrigo and we got here. enjoy!

A/N: please don’t read if your triggered by the topic! your mental health is more important and this fic will always be here to come back to when you’re in a better headspace love! MY DM’S ARE ALWAYS OPEN!

~what i write is completely fictional, these are just ideas in my head. i understand the people i write about do not and may not act like this in these situations ITS FICTIONAL BABES!~

NOT PROOF READ. AND JUST A JUMBLE OF THOUGHTS

***

y/n’s phone buzzes on the night stand, she debates answering it but taking the covers off her head to face the world around her seems to be to big of a daunting task at the moment. it buzzes again but she chooses to ignore it, snuggling deeper in her safe place under the covers.

she hasn’t actually spoken to anyone in about two days… but this depression episode started about a week ago, y/n slowly started to drift away. her boyfriend and his brothers busy with meetings and their lives hardly noticing her absence.

***

the triplets getting home from their meeting, chris tries calling and texting y/n. with no successful attempts he goes downstairs into the kitchen where his brothers are sitting planning the next wednesday baking video.

“has anyone heard from y/n?” chris asks his brothers both of them having a confused look on their faces. “no actually not for a few days.” matt responds, “not since the day we brought her mcdonalds. which was monday i think” it was now Thursday. “last time i heard from her was tuesday she put a short response in the girls group chat but that was itttt.” nick adds now matching chris’ horrified expression.

chris knew of her seasonal depression but it only being november he didn’t expect it to hit this early and this fast. “yeah, i didn’t get to message her yesterday i passed out before i could” he starts walking out of the kitchen. the boys could hear his voice breaking knowing he’s blaming this all on himself. before chris knows it he has his beanie on and shoes on.

“chris, where are you going?” nick asks standing in the hallway looking out towards the door. matt starts to grab his keys knowing his brother is about to ask for a ride to y/n’s house.

“too her”

chris opens the door disappearing out into the cold winter boston night.

***

hearing the front door open and closing downstairs startles the poor girl awake. before the panic attack can start she hears his voice. “y/n where are you?” she would answer him. but she doesn’t want him to see her like this. so if she pretends she’s not here maybe he will think she’s at her parents house. though, knowing him he’d try there too if he didn’t find her here. causing her parents to then worry about her whereabouts and well being as well as chris. she hears his footsteps coming up the stairs.

“in here chris… i’m okay just not feeling good i wouldn’t come in” her voice cracking after not being used in a while. she hears his pace picking up over the stairs and a little knock on the bedroom door before he slowly opening it to the dark room. seeing her poke her head out of the covers tears instantly threatening to fall at the sight of him “i’m sorry” her voice breaks. “oh baby” is all he can whisper walking over to the edge of her bed.

that’s when the tears start, she can’t control them and she doesn’t even know why she’s crying every doubt every fear RUNNING to her head at once. he climbs in bed with her instantly pulling her into his arms. whispering, “i’m sorry baby… it’s okay… shhh… i’m here… i’m here pretty girl… you’re not alone anymore…” softly kissing her on the top of the head. her face shoved into his chest and her body rattling with each sob, which only makes him hold her a little closer and keep whispering sweet things to her.

after some time she calms, chris still holding her as close as before. “i’m sorry… i’m so sorry chris” she states again her voice stuffy from the crying. “don’t apologize, pretty girl. don’t ever apologize for this.” she looks towards him, her face red from the crying, her eyes soft and tired, hair a mess from being in her bed. that’s when he hears her stomach growl. “baby when was the last time you had something to eat?” he asks looking at her, her face going from this soft sad to a confused state. the fact she’s trying to remember when her last meal was let’s chris know it’s been to long. “umm mcdonald’s, with you” she responds. his face drops… “y/n… that was monday night kid, it’s thursday.” her face looks confused clearly not realizing what day it was. “oh my sweet girl… am i able to go and get you a bath ready or a shower depending on what one you feel comfortable with. if you want i’ll call matt once you’re done he can come get us we can get something to eat, stop and get some snacks, and you come back to our house? i want you to be close to me so i can make sure you’re okay” he understands that he can’t just 1. force her to leave her bed if she’s not ready yet hence why he asked if she was comfortable with that. and 2. he knows he can’t just tell her everything will be okay and she will be perfect and happy again. he knows depression works on its own time but, at least if she’s with him he will be able to keep an eye on her.

she slowly nods processing the information and making her decision. she also really doesn’t want to be alone so, it seems like a good idea. “yeah. that sounds okay… just will you sit in the bathroom with me please?” laying her head back down on his chest seeming silly asking him if that request. “of course. anything you need sweetheart. you just tell me when you’re ready to get up okay?” giving her a light squeeze kissing the top of her head once more.

“we will get through this y/n… no matter when, no matter where… i love you.”

“i know… i love you too chris”

A/N: IM SOBBING IM SO SORRY

[juletheghoul]

A/N; I’ve decided to try and post a bit more consistently. The plan, for now, is to post twice a week—a series chapter update, as well as one of the standalone pieces I have in the works. My confidence lately has been the pits, but I’m not going to let it ruin my life, or my desire to write. This is fun, and I still want to share the things that I create. If you’re still here and reading, thank you, hope you enjoy 💜 (p.s., I know the picture I used isn't Max, but that's how I see this version of him. A little younger, a little leaner-hungrier) (p.p.s, right now there is no plan for a sequel, but I never say never. Asks are always open, and so are the dms)

Pairing: Max Phillips x F!Reader

Word Count: 8.2K

Warnings: (18+ NO MINORS) mentions of loneliness, and alcoholism, language, He's a vampire (went with classic vampire lore for this one, needs a coffin, no sunlight), piv sex (wrap it up!), vaginal fingering, violence, talk of death, blood and some non-graphic gore, period piece

Let me know if I missed anything!

reblogs are appreciated

Masterlist

It starts with a prickle to the back of your neck, the hairs there standing on end, a shiver running along your spine. 

The main thoroughfare is busy as you make your way home, the lamplights illuminating the steps of your usual path. It's different tonight though, despite knowing the area like the back of your hand and recognizing more than a few faces as they pass, there is a tinge of something threaded through it all. 

You find yourself scanning every shadowy corner, peering through the windows on the businesses you pass, hoping to spot whatever it is that has your blood pounding loudly in your ears. 

Do I want to know? 

You catch yourself from stumbling at the thought, your imagination conjuring images of a dark, evil figure lurking in the shadows, waiting to strike. You shake it off, scolding yourself for letting the fear get the better of you. 

Your home is visible now, just at the top of the hill and the relief is mounting, counting down the steps until you can tuck yourself safely inside, and lock the world out. 

“Excuse me, Miss.” His voice is low and pleasant, but it sends you a good few inches into the air from the fright. “My deepest apologies, I did not mean to scare you.” Your heart is pounding, your hand pressed up against your chest in some unconscious attempt to steady it. You let out a slow breath before answering, laughing shakily as you gather your thoughts. 

“Oh my, forgive me-” You let out another loud sigh, “You gave me such a fright.” You smile up at him out of habit, taking in his handsome face and worried expression. 

“No no, please–accept my sincerest apology.” He bows slightly, his head low in deference and you wave it away. “I saw you from across the street, and I thought, I simply must introduce myself.” He smiles now, and it’s a little jarring, his teeth are perfectly straight and bright white. “I’m Max.” He holds his hand out and you take it without thought, watch him almost in a trance as he brings it up to press it to his lips. The kiss is cool, and it brings curiously vulgar thoughts to the forefront of your mind. He tilts his head, expectant. 

“Oh! Sorry yes, It’s nice to meet you Max-” You cannot help but watch his mouth as you introduce yourself. “I’ve not seen you in town before.” You leave it there and his smile widens, his eyes scanning all around taking in your surroundings. You don’t fail to notice the expensive cut of his suit, the fabric rich, decadent.

“I’m new in town you see, just arrived this morning.” He towers over you, broad of shoulder, slim through the hip. “I see you are unaccompanied, which shocks me.” He offers his arm and again, and you move to take it without much thought. “May I walk you home?” 

“Yes, of course.” You agree, and begin to lead the way, ignoring every warning young women seem to learn practically at the breast, calmly walking with him up the street towards your home. “Where did you come from?” Your attention turns to the feel of his arm in yours, solid and strong underneath his layers. 

“Oh, I come from all over, I'm somewhat of a roamer.” His smile is roguish and you get the impression he might be remembering another young lady on another street, in an altogether different part of the world. “How long has this been your home?” He guides you gently as you make your way up the hill. 

“I have lived here all my life.” 

“Do you like it here?” He doesn’t ask it unkindly, there’s a genuine curiosity there. 

“I like it fine enough, but I have always wanted to see other parts of the world. It's difficult though.” You sigh, he frowns in the corner of your eye. 

“How so?” 

“Well, it is difficult to travel unaccompanied–it also requires funds I currently do not possess.” You laugh a bit awkwardly, surprised with your own candor. 

“Oh-” He seemed taken aback for a moment and you had to fight the urge to roll your eyes, men usually don’t pay much attention to the struggles of women. “-yes of course. How ignorant of me.” He was frowning at his feet. 

“This is me.” You pulled him away from his thoughts, gesturing to your house. 

“This is lovely, you and your family must be very happy here.” He smiled warmly, guiding you up the steps to the large wrap around porch. 

“Yes well, we make do.” Your tight lipped smile wasn’t getting past him, his hand held yours for a moment, pulling your attention from your door to him.

“I don’t mean to overstep–are you well?” He held your hand in both of his now, a worried expression plastered on his handsome face. 

“Yes-I, I’m sorry, yes. I’m fine-” He watched you intently, studying and suddenly the words were spilling from your lips, unbidden. “-I’m just alone most of the time, my father works, or drinks, and my mother disappears to avoid the melancholy. My sister is wed and living her marital bliss across the city and I am sort of left to keep everything together.” The thoughts were always present, hiding in your throat, in the pit of your stomach, in the clenching of your jaw when the house was continuously empty. It was a welcome respite to be able to let go of them, for a moment at least. 

He hummed his acknowledgement, the worried frown in place. 

“That is unfortunate.” He was choosing his words carefully. “If you are partial, I would very much like to spend more time with you.” He kissed the back of your hand once more and a momentary madness took hold of you. 

“Would you like to come in?” His eyebrows raised and you hurried to clarify, “I could make you a cup of tea, maybe you could tell me about your travels?” He nodded graciously and a slow creeping smile overtook the frown as he walked up the stairs towards your now open door. His eyes flashed with something but it was gone just as quickly–no sign of danger as he crossed the threshold. 

“You’re too kind, I would love to.” You closed the door behind him. 

He seemed bigger once inside, somehow broader than before. His eyes were bright within the dim foyer, the honey brown of them alert and lively and lovely. You led him towards the sitting room with a shy smile, the thrill of having a gentleman caller in your home without a chaperone sending your heart a flutter. 

Maybe I’m too trusting.

The thought crossed your mind, taking up space until his smile shooed it away once more. 

“How do you take your tea? Or would you maybe prefer something stronger? I think there’s some brandy hidden away for visitors.” Your hands felt numb, the nerves of being alone with him catching up to you. 

“What would you prefer?” He made himself comfortable on the settee, and you noticed his choice with interest. 

“Well, the brandy is rather nice.”

“Brandy it is. Can I help with anything?” He made to get up and you hurriedly put your hands up to stall him. 

“Nonsense, one moment.” You walked away quickly, ignoring the pounding of your heart and soon you were standing in front of him once more, brandy glasses in hand. He took one from you graciously and once you were seated beside him, you took a generous gulp, wincing slightly at the burning in your throat. He swirled the drink in hand, bringing it to his nose, taking in the aroma and for a moment you felt like your father, just knocking it without savoring. 

“It smells wonderful-” He brought the glass to his lips and you did your best to pace yourself. 

“So, tell me about yourself.” You put the glass down and waited, enjoying the feeling of warmth spreading throughout your limbs already. 

“Oh no, I’d rather hear about you.” He placed his glass next to yours, leaning back with open arms facing you. “I’m very curious as to how no one has snatched you up just yet.” He said it with a friendly smile. “You must be of age to marry?” 

“Yes, I am no more wise than you are on the subject.” You reached for the glass once more, needing something in which to focus the nervous energy in your hands, which led you to take another obscene gulp. Half your glass already gone, what would he think of you?

“Have you had many would-be callers? I would have thought your father would be fighting them off with a bat.” He picked up his glass, swirling it as he spoke. 

“Not really, there was a young man who came calling, but he was indifferent as to which sister would take him, so he left empty-handed.” Your nerves calmed with the third gulp, so did the burning and now there was a pleasant, full body buzz flowing through your veins. 

“Well. The men here must be blind.” His eyes flashed again, something vulgar and exciting all at the same time. He put his glass back down, moving so he was sitting a little closer. “Your father would have trouble keeping me away.” He took the now empty glass from your hand and set it next to his rather full one. 

“Why’s that?” You watched him with baited breath. 

“Well, because I would be ruthless in my pursuit.” He moved closer still. “Would woo you tirelessly.” His hand came up, his thumb resting softly on the plush of your bottom lip. You sucked in a breath, acutely aware of the hot spike of arousal in your belly. 

“And–and if I were to deny you?” your voice was curiously breathless, such was the effect he had on you.

“Would you?” He moved closer, his eyes fixed on where his thumb rested on your lip, “Would you deny me?” He was so close, the tip of his aquiline nose nuzzling softly against your own. His lips so close it would only take a nudge to kiss him.

“No-” You knew you wouldn’t, this enigmatic man who’d appeared out of thin air, appeared out of some long forgotten dream, or perhaps a prayer. “I would not.” 

“May I kiss you?” He nudged your nose with his once more, the clean scent of him engulfing your senses. 

“Please-” You didn’t get the chance to finish the word before his lips pressed against yours with an ardor that burned through your whole body. His fingers curled around the nape of your neck, caressing the sensitive skin there while his tongue sought entrance to dance with yours. He pulled a whimper from somewhere in your throat before he pulled away, kissing your cheek, and then again, just below your ear.

You’d been kissed before, but never like this. 

He smiled, his gaze roving over your face greedily, no doubt taking in the lust blown expression shining back at him. 

You gulped. 

“I would decidedly not deny you Sir.” You let out a shaky laugh, feeling as the excitement and arousal flowed through you. Dampening your undergarments, hardening your nipples. 

“I thought not.” His thumb came up to brush against your lip once more, his eyes focused on your face so intently, it felt as though everything else had disappeared. 

“Take me to bed.” The words spilled out of your mouth unbidden, shocking even you and your stomach sank well into the floor when his eyebrows raised. “I-I’m sorry to be so vulgar-”

“Do not apologize to me, there is no sin in desire.” He stood, holding his hand out for you to stand before him. “There is no vulgarity in pleasure between two people, so long as both are willing.” He pressed a kiss to your knuckles, moving to your mouth once more to take the remaining coherent thoughts right out of your head. 

-

Up until today, your life had been, for the most part, predictable. There had been a basic formula to how your hours were spent, where you’d go, what you’d see, even who’d you speak to. You’d thought about it that very morning, the errands you’d have to run-what you’d wear. Whether you’d see your father intoxicated or not. 

Seeing a beautiful, naked man was not on the list of possibilities. For that gorgeous, naked man to have you practically mewling underneath him would never have crossed your mind, at least not that early in the day. 

The bed creaked with every thrust of his hips between your legs, his cock hard and heavy inside the wet clutch of your cunt. 

“Does that feel good?” He huffed out a laugh, his white teeth flashing as he moved a little harder. It was hard to articulate exactly how good it felt and he took your quiet moans as a challenge. “More? Is that what you want my darling?” his elbows came up to rest beside your ears, bracketing your head before he snapped his hips faster, smiling at the way your mouth opened in a silent scream. “There it is, that’s what you like huh?” His voice should have been breathless with the amount of exertion he was exhibiting–but every thrust knocked any coherent thought right out of your head. He shifted to one side, reaching down to slide his fingers around the pearl of your pleasure, thrusting you headlong into your climax. He slowed down, grinding slowly while you crested, no doubt making a mess of the sheets underneath you. 

“I could stay here for days.” He punctuated his words with a delicious swirl of his hips, burying his face into the crook of your neck while you caught your breath, your hands finding their way into his hair. 

“If it’s to be like this every single time–I’m inclined to let you.” You pulled his face up to kiss, needing to taste his mouth again. 

“Oh it definitely would.” He bit his lip, watching you as he spoke. 

“You’d ruin me for all others.” You ran your nails down the muscles of his back, feeling how they corded and bunched with each movement, the coolness of him perfectly complementing your almost feverish warmth. 

“I plan on it, plan on spoiling you rotten.” He kissed you quickly before pulling away and for a moment you thought he might spill his seed on your belly, but he made to move you.

“I would ask you–” Your tone made him pause, a frown on his face. “Beg of you, not to spill inside, I don’t wish to have any children.” It might have ruined the mood of the night, but a child would have ruined your entire life. His features relaxed, a soft smile blooming on his handsome face. 

“I cannot make children, I am sterile.” He pulled you up from your place, both of you kneeling on your bed, his tone sincere. “And even if I could, do you think I would just abandon you?” His hands caressed your back, moving down to hold onto your backside. It was so lovely to have intimacy like this, the loneliness of your days highlighted now in the comfort of his touch. 

“Well, to be quite honest I’m not sure what you’d do. I’ve only just met you–” You sighed, his mouth kissing a trail from your shoulder up to the sensitive skin of your neck, “-you should know, I don’t usually do this. I’m not in the habit of taking men into my bed so quickly.” Your fingers curled in the short locks of his hair. 

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me, pretty.” His lips were still pleasantly cool, all of him was. “I just want to make you feel good.” His hands came up to cradle your jaw before he licked into your mouth, giving you the kind of kiss you’ve only dreamt about in the dark quiet hours. “Now turn around, I want to take you from behind.” he bit your lip, a tiny little nip that had you dripping and you turned to obey. 

His big palm pressed against your spine, pushing your top half down into the mattress before he grabbed your hips, pulling you to him a little rougher than you expected. It made you gasp and within a moment he sheathed himself in your tight heat. A hard thrust that knocked the air out of your lungs. 

“Your wet little cunt is dripping around me-” He sounded as wrecked as you felt, his words fueling the fire of your arousal, “-come up here.” He pulled you up, his arm wrapped around your middle to press you up against the solid wall of his chest, his chin instantly settling on your shoulder, lips pressed against your ear as he set a brutal pace. He sang the song of his pleasure directly into your ear, it flowed all around you, combining with the wet obscene sounds of your joining to push you further and further into a bigger, more intense climax. 

One of his hands moved down, slipping between the lips of your sex to pull you apart, the other sliding up to palm your breast. With a few perfect circles you screamed, digging your fingers into his arm as you clenched around him.

There was a sting. 

A sudden sharp pain at your neck that pulled you out of the haze of pleasure for a moment before it was replaced with something otherworldly. A direct current flowing through your fingers and toes, through your nipples, through the gates of heaven between your legs. 

It was enough to make you lightheaded. 

You blinked, finding yourself laying back on your bed with Max standing near the door, fixing his overcoat. 

How did you get dressed so fast? Why am I so exhausted?

You tried to call out to him, surprised to find your limbs heavy, your eyes fluttering closed. 

“Sleep now, my love.” You heard him speak, his voice sounding so far away. “Sleep, I will see you soon.” A cool, feather light kiss was pressed to your brow before the world went dark. 

-

Whether it was the sunlight streaming in through the lace curtains, or the nightmare, or possibly a combination of both that pulled you out from the depths of sleep, you’d never truly know.  A vision of something hunting, something tearing at flesh, a bone crushing bite flitting through your mind in those first few seconds upon waking making you shudder and turn towards the darker side of the room, avoiding the glaring light in your eyes.

What a horrible dream—wait, what happened again?

It had just been there but now it felt like mist, dissipating far too quickly for you to grab a hold of. 

It was gone.

A knock at your door had any remaining musings about it evaporating into nothing. 

“Yes? Come in-“ You croaked out the words before clearing your throat. 

Your mother waltzed in, already dressed for the day making you frown. She was fussing at her skirts, unbothered—or uncaring that you were still in bed, instead she spoke about a trip she and your father were taking, how the house would be your responsibility for the next few days and that she would see you when she got back. She didn’t wait to hear your thoughts or concerns, or to even ask if you were feeling well, she was gone as quickly as she’d appeared. Leaving you still in bed, studying the time on your pocket watch with confusion. 

Something seemed off, a long stretch highlighted the pleasant soreness between your thighs and then his face popped into the forefront of your thoughts. How could you have forgotten? 

The events of the night before were crystal clear, to a point. You’d been walking home, he’d introduced himself and things had gone well. You’d invited him back to your home—to your bed. Everything was replaying as though you were reliving the night itself, up until he’d pulled that second climax out of you, after that, things were blurred. 

No.

Not just blurred, not just hazy. That would imply there were memories to fog up, this was something else, something aggravating. 

You let out a frustrated groan, tossing in your bed to bury your face into your pillows. 

I wonder where he is now, wonder if I’ll ever see him again.

The jaded, realistic part of your brain said don’t count on it, and after all, why would he care to come back? You’d opened up your doors and your legs, gave him everything you had to offer and he’d left without so much as a fare thee well. At least, not one that you could remember.

Face the facts, you gave it up, and now he’s gone.

-

You were out of breath and not for the first time since waking that morning. Your heart raced as you stopped just outside the general store, needing a moment before starting your usual trek up the hill. The night was blessedly cool, a gentle breeze ruffling the sleeves and collar of your dress and it was only while you were distracted that he found you once more.

“Hello my sweet, I hoped to find you out and about, and so I have.” He smiled his bright white smile, reaching out to bring your hand to his mouth. 

“Max-“ you frowned at him, unable to hide the shock of actually seeing him again. “I—hello, I’m sorry I-“ you floundered, unsure what to say. He seemed taken aback by your response.

“My apologies, did you not wish to see me again?”

“No! It’s not that, no I’m very glad I just—well to be perfectly blunt I didn’t actually think I would.” You blurted the words out, throwing caution to the wind. He brought that out in you it seemed.

“Oh-“ his eyebrows raised into his hairline. “I see. You thought I’d seduced you and then left you to pursue other conquests.” His tone was light, but there was a hurt in it and it made you feel guilty.

“Forgive me, I misjudged you. I am very happy to see you again.” You gave him your biggest smile and he returned it, forgiven.

“No need.” He kissed your hand once more, pulling you to hold onto his arm. “May I accompany you home?” He gestured towards the hill.

“Yes, that would be very helpful, I am feeling a bit lightheaded today I’m afraid.” You laughed, lighthearted but he didn’t join.

“Are you well?” He matched your pace, pulling you slowly towards the house.

“Oh yes, nothing to worry about. Must have been that brandy yesterday. Doesn’t tend to agree with me.” You patted his arm and he dropped the subject.

“Aside from the brandy, how has your day been?” He smiled warmly, his stride slowing down to match yours.

“Well enough.” You sighed, “My mother and father have gone away for a few days, so I have been alone.” You tried to keep your voice neutral but his expression told you he wasn’t buying it. “It is the way things are.”

“Do they not worry about you?” His eyebrows were drawn together in confusion. “Do they not care?”

“I’d rather not know the answer to those questions.” You left the rest unsaid, he didn’t press the issue. “Let’s speak of happier things. How have you been settling in? Are you close by?”

“Yes, just down the lane, a street over. My house is nicely settled but my days are too busy to go out and meet my neighbours. Thankfully I’ve met you though.”

“It isn’t a very big place, there are people no doubt dying to meet you.” You thought about the debutants, the rich single ones who would have taken one look at Max, and gobbled him up. 

“Anyone in particular I should avoid?” He said it conspiratorially, leaning into you and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“No one too villainous.” You patted his arm as you reached the little walkway outside your house. “Come in, sit with me a while.”

“Of course, I’d love to, I need to hear all the local gossip.” 

-

You’d really only meant to invite him in for conversation this time. To have him sit with you in the dim light of your sitting room, listening to him speak about any and everything but somehow- you’d found yourself underneath him once more. 

Your face was pressed against your pillows, your hands like talons, gripping onto your sheets while he straddled your thighs. His hands were holding the globes of your backside open while his cock speared into you again and again. 

He kept your legs closed making his sex feel so much bigger, made it feel like he was splitting you open in the best way. 

You panted into the fabric, dampening it with your breath as he fucked into you—moving your body a fraction with every thrust, the friction of it against your nipples made you ache with arousal. 

“You’re so wet for me my sweet, so tight around my cock.” He spread you open lewdly and you knew he was staring at the place you were joined, no doubt watching himself disappear into your body. “You’re going to milk me dry—reach down and touch yourself, I want you to come before I do.“ he sped up, groaning when you clenched around him. 

You swallowed thickly as you reached down to obey him, shocked at how much arousal he's pulled out of you, feeling the soaked-through patch of the sheet on the back of your hand. 

It only takes a moment, your fingers slipping through your folds with a well practiced swirl and your body tightens up, the coil winding tighter and tighter and you feel him press his chest to your back, his breath in your ear and when the pleasure finally bursts like a firework—a sting.

Euphoria—a wet gush somewhere below you and a pained moan from you, or him, maybe both of you, it’s hard to tell.

You blink.

Or, you try to blink. 

Your eyelids are so heavy, it’s hard to open them but you finally do. Light is streaming in through the window, that cannot be?

Your brain feels slow, like molasses on a cold day, your limbs are so heavy and it takes what feels like hours before you can lift your arm to check the time. 

It is well past noon, and it doesn’t make sense. 

There’s a note on the table where your watch is and you stare at it for a moment, trying with all your might to read the words;

It was lovely to see you again my darling, I had a wonderful time. If you’re partial I would love to call on you again. I hope you slept well, you looked so peaceful when I left. See you soon.  Max

You put the note down and focused on gathering your strength, ignoring the ache in your body, and the fear in your gut.

-

You moved at a glacial pace, both physically and mentally and you ignored the deep-rooted fear in your belly, that you’d caught the coughing sickness. 

Does it start like this? Will I feel weaker and weaker until I cannot move? When does the coughing start? 

You shuddered and shook your head, afraid of the loops your mind was jumping through, trying with all your might to focus on the tasks at hand. Your room needed to be tidied, the linens on your bed had to be cleaned and so you went about stripping the bed. A few drops of something dried a dark brown had stained part of the sheet, your stomach sank further still when you realized it might be blood. 

Okay, just calm down. Everything will be fine, you are not sick.

You gathered the sheets, and your strength, and went about doing what needed to be done.

It took a long time, too long and instead of heading out to run your errands you decided to stay in. Make yourself something warm and hearty for dinner, make yourself a tonic. That would have to work right? 

The sun set as you finally settled in to sit by the fire for the evening, falling into your fathers chair with a groan. The doorbell rang though and you seriously debated not answering, your eyes shut tight, the internal battle raging between your health, and your manners.

“My sweet? Are you well? It’s Max-“ he spoke loudly and your heart raced, making the decision for you. 

“Yes! One moment Max!” You rose unsteadily, inching your way towards the door as quickly as you could with how you were feeling. His face lit up when you opened the door, it fell soon after though, seeing the strain of it plain on your face. 

“Oh–” He made his way past you into the foyer. “-Are you quite well?” He moved to help you over to the chair, kneeling before you once you were seated.

“No Max, I’m afraid I’m a bit under the weather.” You tried to keep your voice light, tried to avoid his penetrating gaze. “You shouldn’t be here, I wouldn’t want you to catch whatever it is.” You pulled the light blanket higher up on your shoulders.

“Oh I very much doubt I could catch anything you might have.” He took hold of your hand, kissing the back of it quickly before moving to sit in the chair opposite. “What are you feeling?” His brow was furrowed, the gears in his mind turning smoothly.

“I feel tired.” The words were a sigh, compounding the sentiment. “Just bone tired, almost as though I cannot catch my breath.” Your hand came up to rest on your chest as you spoke. “My thoughts are slow, every part of me feels like it’s been slowed down—including my wits I think.” You took a deep breath and let out a deep sigh. “Worst is I cannot contact my mother and father, I fear something may happen to me while they are away.” 

“I can stay with you for a few hours, but something tells me you’re going to be just fine.” He winked and you couldn’t help but smile at his optimism. “Do you need anything? I can make myself useful.”

A thought popped into your head then, a fear—the fear.

“Would you mind laying with me for a time? In my bed? Just laying and talking?” It felt almost pathetic to ask him, this young, vibrant, healthy man—spending his night with a young, possibly very sick woman. 

“Of course my darling, I would be happy to. Come, I will help you.”

-

To your credit, you’d both laid there in the soft candlelight for a long time, talking about all of the different places he’d been and all of the different places you wanted to visit. He made you laugh, made you forget about how horrid you felt; made you feel special and wanted and so it inevitably led to you both being naked in your bed. 

Your feelings of weakness were now replaced with a mounting pleasure. His mouth was a steady suck at your nipple, his tongue circling the sensitive tip mercilessly while his hand worked away between your spread legs. Two thick fingers pumping, a thumb gliding, his tongue–a gorgeous dance being led to the tune of your pleasure. 

His cock was flushed with blood, hard and heavy against your thigh and leaking his pearly arousal onto your skin. You couldn’t help but reach down and wrap your hand around it, collecting everything that leaked from the tip to give him a stroke; try to make him feel at least half as good as he was making you feel. 

He moaned onto your skin, his hips chasing the friction of your slick fist, quicker and quicker until he groaned deeply, spilling his passion onto your thigh. And then his eyes found yours, the whites of them gone–the whole of them blacker than night and terrifying and then you felt it. 

A prick. 

Strangely familiar. 

There was no time to dwell on any of it though because his fingers were still pumping, his thumb still swirling and the force of your climax was enough to make you scream, then the darkness came. 

-

Glimpses of light plagued you, much like the dreams. One moment you were being chased by some huge, unseen monster, skirts whipping behind you through the night, a bloody grin never far behind. Then you’d open your eyes and be tossing and turning, sweat soaked and feverish in your own bed. 

It felt like hours. 

Hours of running, hours of tormented sleep, hours of confusion and god knows what else. 

I’m dying.

The thought came to you during a precious moment of clarity and all it did was scare you. 

Your eyes opened again, the light had faded, was it night? How many hours, days had gone by?

“Max?” It felt like another dream, this one cruel because he was there, healthy and glowing and sitting by your side. 

“I’m here, my darling.” His voice cut through the delirium, his hand a cool respite from fire burning just underneath your skin.

“Max-” Your voice was a hoarse croak, “I-I think I’m dying.” Tears streamed down your face, leaning into his hand with the little strength you had left.

“Yes, you are my love, but you don’t have to.” He stroked your face, leaning close to press his lips to your feverish brow. “You have a choice.”

“I don’t understand-” Was this another dream?

“If I leave you now, you will be dead by morning.” His voice was steady, “But there is another way. I could make you like me and then we can be together forever.” 

You couldn’t die now, there was so much to do, so much to see, and Max–he could have been the great love of your life and it wasn’t fair. 

“Like you? Max, I don’t want to die.” The tears flowed faster, fear and despair running rampant. 

Why couldn’t I have met you years ago?

“You don’t have to, I can make you like me.” He lifted your hand in his, placing a soft kiss at your wrist. “Would you like that? Do you want to be with me forever? I cannot help until you say yes.” He wiped away the tears and waited.

“Yes Max, I want to be with you forever.” He smiled a sharp smile, and in a flash he was at your throat, his kiss had teeth and it made you whimper, made you close your eyes and fall limp in his arms. There was a moment when you thought you’d lost consciousness but then there was something in your mouth, a thick liquid crawling down your throat and into your bloodstream. It was a balm, something to soothe the ache and the pain but it turned to acid in a flash. The web of hurt spreading like a lightning strike and burning twice as hot. 

It was agony. 

You’d been burned once as a child, your mother had been ironing one of your fathers suits. The red hot iron had merely grazed your arm, but the pain lingered for days, caused you sleepless nights and tears to spare. 

Compared to this, that burn was a kiss. That burn was the soft caress of a lover, a cool scrap of silk against your skin. 

“Max, what is happening to me?” Your voice is a strangled cry, the linens under you felt like steel wool. He answers and he's so much closer than you expected him to be while you thrash blindly. 

“It is almost over my love, soon the pain will pass.” His hand found yours through the chaos of the pain, a lifeline in the middle of a deep, dark, ocean. 

-

It could have been minutes, or hours that passed. It could have been years, but eventually the storm abated, and with it went the pain. 

“Max?” Your fingers flew up to your mouth, pressing against your lips, shocked at the way your voice sounded. Still your voice, but somehow more. 

“Yes my love, I am here.” His voice sounded different too, so much clearer—everything sounded clear. Too clear, the sound of the floorboards creaking under his steps so much louder than you’d ever heard it. “You will adjust.” He crouched beside your place in the bed and your eyes widened when you took him in. It was as though he’d been hiding behind a paper screen before, the shape of him clear enough to distinguish him from another, but somehow vague. 

He was devastatingly handsome, his skin smooth as polished marble, his eyes every shade of honey brown at once. 

“What did you do to me?” You reached out to touch him and you noted the perfect skin of your hands, almost doll-like.

“What you asked,” he grasped your hand in his, placing a kiss on your palm. “I have made you like me. Come—get dressed and we will eat.”

His words were like a punch to the stomach, hunger spreading like a bruise throughout your body, the pain of it almost debilitating.

“I might faint of hunger Max, where will we eat?” You dressed as quickly as you could, ignoring the slight tremble in your hands.

“Oh, I’m sure we’ll find something.” He helped you dress, pulling you from what you’d come to believe was your deathbed and out into the night but before you’d made it out the door, you caught your reflection and gasped.

It was you, that was to be sure but it wasn’t the You you’d come to expect to see. The woman in the mirror has your face, and your eyes, your hair—but she was different. Her skin was perfect. Her eyes sparkled, her teeth shone so white.

 It was mesmerizing.

“Is that me?” You watched the reflection, her beauty shifted, something predatory in the eyes.

“Yes my love, that is you.” He placed a kiss on your neck. “Come, before the sun rises.” He pulled you away from the mirror, and into hell.

-

“It’s overwhelming, I know, but you will adjust, as I did.” His voice is the anchor, a tether holding you from getting lost in the chaos. Has it always been this bad? This loud? Your feet carry you through the streets, with his hand guiding you along and the closer you get to the thick of it–to the crowd milling about the high street where the worst it is. 

“I know my love–” His arm slips around your waist, pressing you close. “-Just a little further, and I will find you what you need.” Your stomach roils, the hunger-the thirst rips a swathe through your being. 

“Why am I so hungry Max?” You stumble over a loose cobble but he steadies you, lifting you back onto your feet as though you were made of paper and it almost scares you how strong he is. 

“Because you have not eaten.” His words are casual, a seemingly simple answer for a seemingly simple question. It didn’t feel simple though, not with the way you could barely concentrate. Everything seemed to be amplified, the dial on the radio turned to an uncomfortable volume and there was no way to turn it down. Distorted voices, an incessant thumping so loud it made you blink to its beat. 

Worst of all, was the smell. 

The city smelled rotten. The cloyingly sweet smell of overly ripe fruit, the sour smell of unwashed bodies, the moldy smell of old bread, hard packed dirt filled with worms, but threaded through it was the rich smell of butter and fine wine–the green of summer grass. Underneath everything though was something else, something mouth-watering–something you couldn’t quite put your finger on. 

He led you towards the park, the vast, open, green space where you would have never gone unaccompanied, much less at night. It was hard to feel afraid with Max though, it was hard to feel anything but intense hunger. 

“That one there is a good candidate.” He gestures to a middle aged man. “He won’t be missed.” He watched you, an encouraging smile on his handsome face, you frowned in response. 

“I don’t understand–” You looked at the man again, he must have been in his late forties, maybe even early fifties. 

“You are hungry my love, eat.” He gestures again and your stomach sinks. “Oh come now, no need to be coy with me my darling, I can feel your hunger.” He smiles not unkindly at what must be a shocked expression. “If it makes you feel any better, he’s the worst sort of person. I can hear it in his mind, believe me, you will be doing this world a favour.” He kisses the back of your hand, soothing. 

“I don’t want to hurt anyone, Max.” Your hands tremble, “I cannot–” The man walks closer and the smell of him almost knocks you off your feet, the thumping is back and you’re horrified to realize it’s his blood. A thunderous sound pounding through his body and through your head, and before you realize what you’re doing, your feet are carrying you to him. 

It felt as though someone else was controlling you, something else entirely had taken over your senses, your limbs.

“Well aren’t you a pretty little thing.” The older man spots you then, his eyes light up with something altogether unwholesome, “What are you doing out this late, and all alone?” His eyes rake over your body in a way that would have scared you had you not been so focused on the sound his blood was making. 

“So… hungry…” You barely heard yourself over the sound of his heart, barely saw anything but the seemingly glowing network of veins in his skin, all of it a gorgeous lace pattern. 

“What’s that sugar-” He didn’t get to finish his question. Something in your body, something in your very being sprung out, a sudden, awful ache bloomed in your upper jaw before you bit into the salty flesh of his neck, piercing the brightest, thickest vein. 

Euphoria. 

Your body was curled around him, fingers digging into his arms, clutching him ever closer, your fingers so like the talons of some monstrous bird of prey.

He was silent as you took your fill, pull after pull of what tasted like the thickest, most delicious wine. 

“That’s enough my love, not too much.” Firm, strong hands managed to break your hold on the man much too soon. “You cannot drain him. I know, I know.” He soothed your pained expression, wiped at your mouth with his thumb, sticking it into his mouth with a sharp smile. “Believe me, it’s better to stay hungry than to kill outright. Could make you very sick. Come–let's go home.” He fussed at your clothes for a moment before dragging the man over to a bench. You glanced back at him as Max led you away, to anyone walking by, he was just some tired, old man—resting alone.

The walk back to his home was only slightly easier to handle, the sounds, the smells, the cloying press was almost tolerable now that your stomach was full. 

“Here we are, just here.” The house is much bigger than you’d anticipated, grand, but still tasteful. Years worth of ivy had already conquered most of the facade, giving it a cottage-like appeal and drawing your eye as he guided you inside. “The sun will be up soon, we must get into bed.” 

“Why?” Your eyes roamed throughout the space, noting the almost clinical cleanliness of the place. The rug under your feet, perfectly laid, cushions on the settee without a single sign of ever having been sat on. 

“Well, because the sun would kill us, my love.” He says it offhand, making your eyes widen at the back of his head. “We are impervious to almost everything, except that.” He opens a set of double doors at the top of the stairs and what greets you stops you in your tracks, eyes wide and full of terror. 

“Max, why is there a massive coffin in here?” You stand at the door, frozen in place. 

“Come now, there is nothing to be afraid of, it is where I sleep, where we will sleep–until I purchase you your own.” He smiles, his hands smoothing the worry on your face away with a welcome tenderness. “Believe me, once you get in, you will sleep just as soundly as you ever have in a regular bed, I promise you.” He pulls your gaze from the morbid thing to his own eyes, and in them you cannot help but find comfort, and honesty. 

“Promise?” You press yourself a little closer and he smiles, nodding before placing a cool kiss to your forehead.

“Of course, come–we haven't much time.” He places another quick kiss at your brow before starting to undress. You follow suit and once completely nude, he opens the box and lays in it, opening his arms to you. You hesitate for a second, but get in just the same, he closes the lid and plunges you both in complete, and utter darkness. 

 “That’s my good girl, are you comfortable?” There is just enough room to fit into one another's arms, even with your heightened senses–it is difficult to make out anything within the confined space. 

“Yes, there’s not much room, but I’m okay.” You scoot as close as you can, your face pressed into the crook of his neck. “Have you always slept here?” Your hand rests against his chest, just as his strokes at the skin of your back as best as he can. 

“Yes, since I was turned.” He moves his face, and finds your lips in the dark. “It’s nice to have you in here with me.” He kisses every inch of your face he can reach. Soft, chaste kisses that make you smile, until he deepens it. His tongue tastes sweet but you pull away before it can turn into anything more just yet. You smile when he chases your mouth. 

“Max-“ He finds your mouth again, cutting off your words and replacing them with a moan, “Max, tell me what you’ve done to me.” Your fingers thread through the short crop of his hair as he moves his kisses to your neck, to the base of your throat, and further still to the stiff peaks of your breasts. You bite your tongue as he takes on into his mouth, managing to distract you for a moment. 

He hums around a nipple, biting at it before soothing it with his tongue. You don’t know how, but you find your voice amid this assault.

“Max, tell me—oh-“ he manages to get you on your back within the small space, manages to squeeze himself between your legs and before he can distract you with his tongue again, you yank his hair back, silently relishing the deep groan he gifts you with. “Focus Max, I need you to answer my questions, I am at a loss and very confused.” You stroke the place where you yanked at his hair, “Please, Max, I need to know what you’ve done to me.” 

“I have made you into something else, something more. I have turned you into a vampire like me. Now we can be together forever.” He presses another kiss to your mouth, once again chaste. “You are neither dead, nor alive. You simply exist, as I do. You will need blood to sustain you, and a coffin at night to sleep in. You will never grow old, you will never get sick-“ he presses kisses to your neck between his words, “-you need never fear anything, and with me, you will never want for anything, ever again.”

“I am… not myself anymore?”

“You are more, you are better, you are at your full potential. You are mine, and I am yours. Neither of us ever need be alone again.” 

It was almost too much to bear, the change you now felt so keenly. His weight on top of you was nothing, the difference in your senses, the difference in your body, it was all almost too much and for a moment you thought you might drown in it.

“Peace, my love, be at peace.” He heard the sob crawl out of your throat, the emotion of it all getting the better of you. With an awkward shuffle you were in his arms again, weeping into the skin of his neck. “I know it is a big change, but I am here to guide you through it.” 

There were many and more questions you needed answered, but there would be more than enough time for that later. Eventually, the darkness of the space, the feel of him wrapped around you, the comfort in the steady sweep of his hands on your skin lulled you into just what he’d promised it would; warm, comfortable and dreamless sleep.

- Tag list: @foli-vora @frannyzooey @greeneyedblondie44 @lola4pedro @ezrasbirdie @221bshrlocked @artsymaddie @supernaturalgirl20 @sleep-tight1 @wheresarizona @sherala007 @marydjarin @cannedsoupsucks @thirstworldproblemss @ilikechocolatemilkh @freeshavocadoooo @hrk-fic-recs @maxwell--lord @princessxkenobi @the-feckless-wonder @kirsteng42 @thisshipwillsail316 @feministfanboi @dihra-vesa @stevie75 @readsalot73 @pedrostories @tobealostwanderer @mandocrasis @elegantduckturtle @diogodxlot @alczysz17 @evyiione @absurdthirst @beskarboobs @andruxx @littlemissoblivious @1800-fight-me @maievdenoir @gracie7209 @omlwhatamidoinghere @magikfanatic @frankiecatfish @pedritoispunk @studythoreauly @missswriter @pintsizemama @mswarriorbabe80 @a-trial-run-on-paper @la-le-lu @chickadee-djarin @dobbyjen @rosiefridayrogersunday @ajeff855 @johnsrevelation @the-witty-pen-name @zombiesnips-blog @quica-quica-quica @sarahjkl82-blog @fan-of-encouragement @queenofthecloudss @deadhumourist @felicisimor @sophiefatale2495 @toomanystoriessolittletime @what-iwish-you-knew @pedrostories @athalien @bi-thewayy @literallydontlook @pedrosbrat @gamingaquarius @localddreamers @luxmundee @iamafadedmoon @nakhudanyx @littlemisspascal @grogusmum @recklessworry @heyitmelexie @killyspinacoladas @gothicxbarbie @evildxad @dragonslarimar @spideysimpossiblegirl @chemtrail-mix @maievdenoir @breezythesimp @altarsw @artooies-scream @staygolddindjarin @softsweetedbeauty @littlemisspascal @yuiopiklmn @squidwell @allthatsleftbehind @just-blogging-around @bbyanarchist @girlofchaos @maddiedrmr @frasmotic @acourtofsnakes @buckybarneshairpullingkink @astoryisaloveaffair @harriedandharassed @swtaura @send-me-to-valhalla @shirks-all-responsibilities @androah @alwaysachorusgirl @dindjarinsmut @captain-jebi @gallowsjoker @oliviajdjarin @actuallyanita @tusk89 @dadbodfanatic-x @naiomiwinchester @blazedprince @rosymythologies @avidreader73 @mr-underhills-things @avengersfan25 @tastygoldentaters @nyotamalfoy @mymindfuckery

[againtodreaming]

mila - she/her - 19 - infp 6w7 - esp/eng

fandoms: bsd, dc comics (batfamily, teen titans), loki (2011-2013), vanitas no carte, yuukoku no moriarty, jujutsu kaisen, death note, star wars, miraculous ladybug, fullmetal alchemist, link click, genshin

storygraph: nostalgianochecer

always open to tag games and asks :D

i don't really tag them, but a lot of posts are queued

i can be horrible with answering things on time, so sorry if i ever take too long in answering anything, it's on my mind tho (or it will return) and i'll definitely get around to it at some point! (and if i'm taking more than 2 weeks in answering a dm, feel free to remind me about it, i may be busy but it's also really probable that I just didn't realize how much time passed)

navigation (work in progress):

(usually forget to tag, but trying to get mostly everything organized bc there are a LOT of times that I either take forever or can't find whatever I'm looking for 🥲) (...apparently this is really needed bc i can't even keep my tags straight...)

#mila habla / #personal / #tag game / #asks / #ask game / #uquiz /

#analysis / #meta analysis / #useful / #save / #reminder / #quotes / #web weaving / #to read again / #for later / #resources / #reading guide / #reference /

#bsd / #japanese literature / #nakahara chuuya / #soukoku / #bsd analysis /

#dc comics / #dick grayson analysis / #dick grayson meta / #dick grayson / #dick grayson centric / #bruce wayne / #teen titans / #donna troy / #wonder twins / #koriand'r / #dickkory / #comic panels / #dick grayson & titans / #batfamily / #clark kent / #dick and bruce / #bruce & dick / #dick and clark / #dick & jason / #dick & tim / #dick and damian

#loki / #loki meta / #brodinsons /

other fandoms: #merlin / #dracula daily /

[cherik-bingo]

Cherik Bingo Information/FAQ

What is a bingo?

A bingo is a fandom event in which upon signing up, you'll be sent a bingo card with prompts to use to create fan content.  These prompts can be interpreted however you’d like, but they must be connected to whatever it is you create.

What types of fan content is permitted in the Cherik Bingo?

Anything at all, so long as it is centered around Cherik!  Writing, artwork, edits, videos, crafts, moodboards, music, literally whatever you’d like!  Be creative!

Is there a minimum amount of works I need to create?

Nope!  You aren’t required to get a bingo or fill out your whole card or even make anything at all if you don’t want to.  It’s all about having fun and celebrating the wonderful ship that is Cherik.

How long do I have to submit my fills?

You can submit your fills from the time you get your card through July 31, 2023.  No fills will be counted after that point.

How long will it take before I receive my card?

It could take anywhere from a few hours to a few days depending on how busy I am.  If a week has passed after you’ve signed up and you still haven’t received a card, please dm me on tumblr or reach out over discord, and I will make sure to help you out.

Can I request a second card?

If you fill up your whole card, you can request another, but if the first card is not filled, no second card will be given.

Can I use multiple squares for one fill?

No, sorry. While you can create something that adheres to multiple prompts, each singular work (or singular chapter if it's a longer fic) can only count for one prompt.

Can I crosspost with other events?

Absolutely, so long as the other event allows it too.

Can I collaborate with others?

Of course! Just make sure everyone is credited properly!

Can I trade or replace my squares?

I will not be replacing squares on anyone's card after they are sent out, but there is an option to swap squares with other participants, and there will also be a set of prompts each month that can be used to replace any square on a card (but only one square can be replaced by a monthly prompt each month).

Can I submit works I’ve posted prior to this event?

The goal of this event is to add to the existing library of Cherik fanwork, so this event will only be accepting new works.

Are there rules about creating dark or NSFW content?

Create whatever you want! Just make sure everything is tagged properly, so that people looking to avoid certain content are able to!

Where do I submit my fills once I’ve made them?

Fill out the fill submission form here! This way, I can make sure you are able to receive any badges you've earned!

You can also submit to our Ao3 collection, though this is not mandatory.

What are those badges you mentioned?

There are four badges that can be earned.

- Completed a square

- Got a bingo

- Blacked out whole card

- Used a monthly prompt every month

I may give them titles at some point, but I haven't yet.

This all sounds great!  How do I sign up?

Fill out the sign up form here!

Is there a place where I can chat with others involved in the Cherik Bingo?

If you’re interested, you can join the Cherik Bingo Discord server.  You aren’t required to sign up for the bingo to join; it’s open to any and all Cherik fans!

I have another question that wasn’t mentioned here.

Send an ask!  I’m happy to answer any and all questions!

[nishikiace]

Rules.

Requests:

I write both sfw and nsfw, for readers and characters of any gender. I am happy to also write trans characters or readers, and any genderbent characters.

If you would like more specific descriptors on the character or reader (short, tall, chubby etc.), feel free to add it to the requests.

For nsfw requests and power dynamics, I prefer to write dom and top reader content. I'm happy to try sub and bottom reader but I prefer not to, in most cases.

For trans characters or readers, please specify what anatomy names you prefer, if its important to you.

I'm happy to write multiple and polyamorous/polycule pairings.

If you're unsure of something, ask or DM me anytime.

Sometimes I may write dark or triggering content (cnc, dubcon, heavy power imbalance etc). Check the warnings and tags on each post.

-> I do not support the dark content I write irl, and it will always be appropriately tagged - see my tag list page.

All content on this blog is pure fiction and intended to be so.

FAQs: [1]

Your requests will be at the top of my masterlist, if I accept them!

Ask box & dms are always open for thirsts, chats and questions.

General:

I only really use my phone for uploads so my masterlist may not always be the most updated - I will timestamp it whenever I update it. To see all works or filter them by fandom or character, use my tags.

I write mostly in bullet points and short thirsts because it's easier for me to get ideas across without stressing about writing. If something reads weird, let me know because I don't proofread much.

-> Please don't request with the assumption I'll write long stories.

Please respect that I have a job irl and may take longer to do some requests during busy periods.

I only write on evenings and weekends, but I answer thirsts, questions and chats throughout the day.

I may not always do your requests if I feel uncomfortable or uninspired. I'll do my best to answer everyone but I can't always guarantee it! Try reach out to me if you haven't been answered after a week.

I don't have a DNI, just please don't be a dick or start any childish drama.

Do not:

Send hostile drama-baiting, heavy traumadumping or likewise uncomfortable asks to me. I love discussing weird stuff with asks and receiving feedback, thirsts and headcanons from people, no matter how weird... but please have some consideration.

Send any pictures or photos to me without my prior consent to receiving them. And never anything explicit. Please.

Send or circulate any personal or private information (obviously).

I do not write:

scat, vomit, diapers and other body excretions (piss is fine in very mild mentions or requests)

gore, necro, serious pain/psychological play (anything less obvious under this umbrella too, such as drowning)

extremely young characters (assume any 15-16+ characters to be fully aged up, if written)

age play, race play, any other offensive kinks, or kinks based on discrimination (general degradation is fine)

furry/major anthro (just not my thing if its more than cat ears or a/b/o level)

RPF

I can write things like foot fetishes but I prefer not to unless it adds to the rest of the prompt

I especially love writing:

ftm/pussyboy characters. I like pussy 👍

larger or taller readers (size kinks>>>)

corruption kinks

taboo with sub!readers (pseudoincest, cnc, somno)

femme fatale readers if fem!readers

[dear-tortured-adam]

: 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖

001. this is eden's side-blog for writing. all content in this blog shall be centered around obey me swd and nightbringer.

002. english is not my first language. do tell me if i make any mistakes, especially in oneshots / longfics!

003. this blog is mainly SFW, so everyone is free to read my content / interact with this blog. do NOT send me thirsts here, i have a whole separate blog for that.

004. this blog is not spoiler-free.

005. do not bring discourse here or in any of my other blogs, as this is meant to be a safe space for me and everyone. if you don't like me or my content, you're free to scroll.

006. do not copy / translate / repost any of my writings here on tumblr or any other platform. i only post here and in my other two blogs

: 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊

001. this is my safe haven and i welcome you with open arms!

002. to start off: i love talking! got anything on your mind? you're free to share. heck, i don't care if you don't have a filter; at the end of it all is a good laugh hehe.

003. given the hypothetical scenario that you want to be mutuals, hit me up back at interconnectedmatrix! i absolutely love meeting people on this app <3

004. though for anyone who wants to interact with me, especially through dms / inbox, bear in mind that i am a college student. i don't always have the time to answer you immediately.

005. i write for anyone and everyone. yes this includes the nondateables. yes this includes michael. if you bribe me enough i can write something with the little d's.

006. i will mostly write about x reader. platonic, romantic, blurred lines, with benefits? give the signal and i'll write.

007. all fics featuring mc/reader will be written in second person point of view unless specified otherwise.

008. i honestly don't have a reader preference. while most works have the reader as genderneutral, i may sometimes lean into masc / femme territory if i feel like it.

009. i typically avoid using "mc" or y/n in my writings. i mostly use petnames or nicknames when referring to the reader [baby, dearest, sweetest pie, zephyr, player two, etc]. these names are varied depending on the character.

010. that said, this is what i'll be basing them off:

. male!reader / masc!reader : reader is strictly or implied male, uses he/they pronouns, referred to with masculine and genderneutral petnames and nicknames

. genderneutral / gn!reader : reader's gender is not specified, uses they/them pronouns, referred to with genderneutral petnames and nicknames

. fem!reader / femme!reader : reader is strictly or implied female, uses she/they pronouns, referred to with feminine and genderneutral petnames and nicknames

011. there shall be no romantic scenarios involving luke. it is non-negotiable.

012. on the topic of luke: i write him as a side character, more than the nondateables. it's unexplainable at the moment on why i do that but it's something i gravitate towards when writing child characters. this means that luke's part / drabbles will be comparably shorter than the rest.

013. i wholeheartedly apologize if a character acts ooc. i cross reference in-game dialogue and i know mistakes happen, so feel free to send constructive criticism as well!

014. finally, comments / reblogs are greatly appreciated! they brighten up even the darkest days.

: 𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐍𝐎'𝐒 — explicit nsfw, non-con / dub-con, s/a, incest / stepcest / demoncest, pedophilia, graphic depictions of violence, abuse, self-harm, more to be added

: 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆

001. requests are CLOSED.

002. i accept headcanon / drabble requests. i do not accept requests for oneshots or multichapter unless we're close / mutuals.

003. with the sudden change in scheduling, there is no concrete timeline for when i finish requests. it may take around a week if i'm not too busy.

004. i have the right to reject / deny any request. don't feel invalidated if an author decides to not write your chosen prompt, as other writers will be more than glad to write such.

005. i do not accept requests for smut. my content shall be a bit on the nose at most.

006. no spamming requests. 1-2 instances are enough.

007. i like to keep the brothers and side characters separate for headcanon posts because it helps with the mental load. side characters are then separated once more: triworlds [diavolo, barbatos, simeon, solomon, luke] and nondateables [thirteen, mephistopheles, raphael, maybe michael].

008. please make sure you aren't requesting for any prompt that i won't write about before sending your ask. it will be ignored and deleted.

009. feel free to go wild! most of the stuff i write about are pretty self indulgent anyway ;v;

the rules are subjected to change as i see fit.

that is all for now! thank you for reading up to this point. love you from wherever you are in the world, mwah mwah!!

2024 © all rights reserved, please do not steal/copy my works

last updated as of 09/ 21/ 2024

[maeby-cursed]

𓂃 my rules !

❤︎ i write mainly for jjk, but sometimes i also write for mha !

❤︎ do not follow me if you fit any of the standard dni criteria (no lgbt-phobes, racists, pro-ana, pro-lifers, bigots, terfs…) or if you’re under seventeen years old.

❤︎ this is primarily a sfw blog, but i may post nsfw later on, so you must be 17+ to interact.

❤︎ reqs are open as long as they aren't requests for part ii (please, accept that some works are meant to be oneshots), and i may take some time to get to them bc of uni.

❤︎ inbox is always open for interactions but i’d rather mutuals only to access my dms (they can also ask for my disc) !

❤︎ do not ask me to write about traumatic scenarios (sexual abuse, bullying…) or other dark content.

→ i do not have anything against these, i just do not feel comfortable writing them as of now.

❤︎ i mostly write fem!reader or gn!reader, but i do not feel comfy writing male!reader.

→ on this note, my readers will not be described appearance wise unless specifically stated.

❤︎ do not copy/repost/edit/translate any of my works under no circumstance.

❤︎ i swear often and ramble a lot; you’ve been kindly warned.

❤︎ i try to answer my asks on sundays since uni keeps me busy during the week; thank you for understanding !

❤︎ please, be nice and remember that rbs are always appreciated !! (refrain from spam liking, instead spam reblog)

© 2023 - 2024, MAEBY-CURSED.

[adminnie]

ೃ⁀➷ 𝐼𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠

ೃ⁀➷ Asks

Asks are always open. You can talk and interact with them at any time, even if it is just random questions or telling them about something in your life.

Ask games are reblogged to the admin account to keep tagging at a minimum but asks from the games can be sent to the accounts or to the admin account for the character to answer.

ೃ⁀➷ Dash

Reblogs are on a queue and done twice a week. There may be times where a reblog is done immediately but this is circumstance dependent. Update (31.08.24): Reblogs are done once a week or at earliest convenience. They are mostly responded to as if they were replied to 'on time'.

Dash interactions rarely will use *actions* unless needed.

Interacting on dash is important for development, regardless of interest or friendship.

RP on dash is rare and dependent on the situation.

Anything older than two months, unless it is super important, will not be reblogged to keep from overwhelming myself.

If I cannot respond to a post for any reason, I will support reblog. This usually applies to posts with too many people/people I haven't spoken to or plot/profile posts.

Dry reblogs or reblogs that have practically ended will not be reblogged.

ೃ⁀➷ DMs

Update: 15.12.23 — As of now, DMs may take a little longer to get to due to an extremely busy life. Dash will be faster but I will try to get a reply out ASAP. After March, I am hoping to be more responsive with DMs so please bear with me Update (31.08.24): DMs are done in rounds to focus on 4-5 a day. There are no set days and I will not warn when I am replying. You can reply whenever you want, if we are around at the same time, we will be able to get through things faster but there's no pressure to reply immediately.

DMs are worked on when I have time. I will not respond constantly/every day but I am aiming to have 2-3 responses at a time depending on my days.

DMs are important for development due to being able to give more context/insight that cannot happen on dash and helps the growth from interest to dating.

Dry replies or replies that make it seem like I am carrying the chat will be given a warning. You do not need to write novels but please, put in some effort and make it engaging rather than giving one sentence/two lines thinking it might get a quicker reply.

Quick-fire DMs are more for dynamic building and friendships. These are to help make posts and work on things. They are typically one scene and are short so I can get through them. Update (31.08.24): I am open to headcanons/random quick back and forths for development but please be aware that what you may suggest might not be how my character will respond. These are great for small developments but I will not build an entire relationship around this.

ೃ⁀➷ Tags

Tags are changed every month, new bots are added and anyone who has deactivated or is inactive is removed.

Mutual engagement is expected. If you tag me and I interact, I expect the same when I tag you. Failure to do so will result in removal and I will not interact with you unless you, for some reason, decide to interact with me.

Interacting is important, that's why we make posts and tag people.

If you want to be removed from one or more of my bots, send me a message. There is no hard feelings!

ೃ⁀➷ Relationships

Relationships and friendships take time to build, do not assume to know someone right away. Some characters might vibe with it and others may be offended.

Relationships do need time and effort put in. You can't just ask someone out and then ignore them.

If a relationship is ignored, interest starts to wane.

Ending a connection isn't the end of the world, please just communicate with me.

For myself, the best way to develop interest and relationships is through asks, DMs, dash and admin conversations. It can take a while to get through scenes, it can take a while to get anywhere with life being busy and so I do like to converse with my fellow admins to fill in blanks that can happen along the way and make things canon and develop. This also helps both parties be on the same page. If there is none of this, my characters might not be as… developed with their feelings since the lack of development has hindered growth.

[doomh3ad]

About

hi!! u can call me imelda, chrissie, chelsea or mel, i have extreme slasher brainrot (specifically doomhead from rob zombie's 31 <3)

requests are closed! and also feel free to submit any questions or thirsts, even if requests are closed! i'm totally fine with any nicknames or pet names, i love ppl being friendly with me <3

i'll write poly relationships (as long as no one is related) and crossover poly relationships with reader too! i also take platonic requests.

[non-writing posts will be tagged 'imelda shut up' & asks as 'imelda's asks']

characters i'll write for include but are not limited to:

•Michael Myers (OG + 2018 Halloween)

•Corey Cunningham, Allyson Nelson (Halloween Ends)

•Art the Clown, Tara Heyes, Dawn Sissy, Sienna Shaw (Terrifier 1&2)

•Yautja (Predator)

•Otis, Baby, Foxy Coltrane, Captain Spaulding (Firefly Trilogy)

•Doomhead (31)

•Any Ghostface minus Charlie or Mrs Loomis, Sidney, Gale, Randy, Sam & Tara Carpenter (Scream franchise)

•Pinhead (both og + 2022 versions), Kirsty Cotton (Hellraiser)

•Candyman/Daniel (Candyman)

•Gabriel May (Malignant)

•Arkin O'Brien, Asa Emory/The Collector (The Collector)

•Greta, Brahms Heelshire (The Boy)

•Patrick Bateman (American Psycho)

•Amanda Young, Mark Hoffman, John Kramer, Daniel Rigg, Jill Tuck, Adam, Lawrence, Peter Strahm, Logan Nelson, William Schenk (Saw franchise, Spiral)

•Julian Lambrick (Would You Rather)

•Ellen Ripley (Alien)

•Pennywise, Patrick Hockstetter (IT 2017+2019)

•Bo, Vincent & Lester Sinclair (House of Wax)

•Ash Williams (Evil Dead)

•Kurt Kunkle (Spree)

•Thomas Hewitt (TCM)

•Rick Grimes, Negan Smith, Daryl Dixon, Maggie Rhee, Glenn Rhee, (TWD)

•Ian McKinley (Final Destination 3)

•Rusty Nail (Joyride)

•Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs)

•R (Warm Bodies)

•Michael Langdon (AHS)

•Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker, Daniel Espinoza, Mazikeen/Maze (Lucifer)

•Jerome Valeska, Ed Nygma (Gotham)

•Sebastian Castellanos, Joseph Oda, Juli Kidman, Ruvik Victoriano (The Evil Within)

•Leon Kennedy [RE2/RE4/RE6] Claire Redfield, Ada Wong, Luis Serra, Jill Valentine, Carlos Oliveira, Albert Wesker, Chris Redfield [RE5], Sheva Alomar (Resident Evil)

•Kara, Connor, Markus (Detroit Become Human)

•Trickster (Dead by Daylight)

i'll also write for some ships ! these include (but i'll likely do any i know that you ask for!)

-Greta & Brahms

-Vincent, Lester or Bo & Carly

-Ben Miller & Zoey Davis (Escape Room)

-Chloe & Lucifer/Deckerstar (Lucifer)

Rules

i won't write : incest, pedophilia, rape, suicide etc. i will write yandere, dark fics & most kinks, just ask if you're not sure! i will write both dominant and submissive readers, just specify. i'll write headcanons, drabbles, full fics & series!

if you don't specify in a request, reader will be gender-neutral, but i will do other genders if you ask! i won't write about pregnancy or mentions of children, sorry.

it's ok to spam requests! i am only one person with a fairly busy life so requests may take up to about a week to be answered at most, usually, i appreciate the patience <3

pls don't request the exact same specific scenario word for word you've sent to other writers.

while i'm aware that i can't stop under 18s from reading or requesting, i would prefer if you didn't dm without your age in your bio or anywhere else that's visible!

commissions info

-commissions will begin once i've finished my cycle of regular requests, around mid-july hopefully!

-still working on reasonable pricing, always open to feedback! currently, i'm thinking around £5 for 1k words, £10 for 2k etc. for anything 3k+ it'd be £15-20. if you'd like a lot of long headcanons instead of a fic they'd be around £5 too i think!

Masterlist (part 1)

Masterlist (part 2)

Kinktober 2022 masterlist

Coming soon (current requests!)

[lovelymessybubbly]

Introduction ヽ(o＾▽＾o)ノ

[artwork by the amazing @littlebrattyrat !! check out my pinned post for weekly fanart features !!!]

[pfp by the incredible Jane Walker, you can find her work and commission info here !!!]

hello my tamadachi !! thank you for visiting my blog !!! (((o(*°▽°*)o)))

you can call me tamago, tama or egg !! i post my tickling fanart here, both fluff and light smut. everything is tagged accordingly so i welcome anyone to enjoy my content !! please visit my navigation post (linked below) so you can block any tags as needed.

commissions

i am currently working on: 5 commissions

eta if you place a commission now: 5-6 weeks

please find my pricing info here !! if you want to order a commission or have further questions, please feel free to dm me.

i take payment primarily through my kofi, which you can find here , or if you would just like to support me in general !!

i have an idea for a drawing !!

i usually only open requests for special events such as milestones, but i am always happy to hear ideas and suggestions. if you have a character or prompt you want to see, please drop it in my askbox. i may be inspired to put it to play !!

i wanna chat !!

i am a very outgoing and open-minded person, and absolutely love hearing from each and every one of you. i want all of your asks/dms/comments, but please keep a few things in mind !!

this is a fandom blog. for the most part, i am not interested in discussing irl tickling scenarios or personal tickling related things. sometimes i will do ask games if i am bored but that is about it. i am not looking for lees/lers, nor to tease or be teased. if you approach me with either of those two things you will be blocked. otherwise, general tickling related asks are okay, just understand it may not always get answered because my comfort with it varies.

state your business ! please do not send me a dm that just says "hi." i will not answer and you might get blocked, too. it is just a personal preference so please understand. if you have a question or want to talk about something please just say it right off the bat. thank you !!

i am a busy person !! i work full time. i have a serious partner and an active social/family life. i am maintaining a home. please understand i may be very irregular with responses and general activity. it may even last days. please do not take it personally !! i just request patience.

navigation through hashtags can be found here !!

what fandoms am i currently drawing for ?? find out here !!!

tama-chan fanart from my lovely tamadachi - here !!

if you have any questions, or just want to chat, please send asks and/or messages !! let’s all do our best to get along !! ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆

[darkmulti]

-> 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞

-> 𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭, 𝐲𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝.

-> 𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

-> releasing this a bit early because we reached 4K+!! Thank you guys so much! I love you all<3

-> THIS PROFILE CONTAINS DUB-CON AND NON-CON THEMES! PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It was a Saturday night — the busiest day of the week. You worked at the strip club, not as an exotic dancer but as a waiter. The money you were making was just enough for you to survive on your own.

Tonight, you wanted to ask your boss if you could start working as a dancer. You packed your new dancewear and everything you might need in case the boss says yes. It was around 4 pm when you arrived. You walked to your boss’s office and gently knocked on the door.

“Come in”

You grab the door handle and push the door open, revealing your boss Taehyung with a glass of whiskey in his hand.

“Hello, little one. What can I help you with?”

You thought the nickname was creepy at first, and when you politely asked him to stop calling you that, he said that he had a nickname for every employee. Over time, you’ve grown used to it. And you’d be lying if you said that it didn’t give you butterflies in your stomach.

“I know this is sudden, but can I start dancing?”

Taehyung squeezed the glass cup tightly, almost shattering it with his bare hand.

“But why? You’re just a little angel. Angels don’t sin, little one.”

“Sir, I really need money. I want to go back to school and get a degree so I can have a permanent job.”

There was a pause of silence before you spoke up again.

“I-I can show you my skills. I’ve been practicing. I even brought my dancewear.”

Taehyung shoots you a glare. It was intense and almost threatening. He sighs as he puts the glass of whiskey on his desk and walks to the couch, where he sat down with his muscular thighs spread apart.

“Go wear your little outfit and come back here.”

You innerly smile and leave to the dressing room to change. Once the door closed, Taehyung let out a chuckle. He’s never going to allow you to be a dancer, he just wants to watch you for his pleasure.

After adjusting your straps and fixing up your hair, you sprayed some perfume around your neck and walk back to his office.

“Sir, I’m ready.”

“Good, now come in and lock the door.”

You did as told then remove your robe. It didn’t take long for Taehyung’s member to harden after seeing your body on full display. Taehyung turned some music on then said “the stage is all yours, little one.”

You’ve been practicing for months, just for this moment. Bending over and whipping your hair back, showing off your beautiful body to him. Taehyung motioned you to come to him, so you can give him a lap dance.

He placed his hands on your hips and made you grind on his bulge. Your face warmed up after feeling his boner that you caused. Taehyung started moving his hips with yours, making you whimper.

His hands moved to your breast and gave it a light squeeze. “Sir, I thought touching is not allowed.”

“I’m the boss. I make the rules. Right now, touching is allowed.” You were too naive to understand that he was manipulating you.

30 minutes pass and you finally stop and take a step back.

“So... what did you think?”

You were expecting a positive response and even a praise but you got the complete opposite.

“I’m sorry, little one. You’re not good enough. I can give you a raise but I’m not letting you become a dancer.”

“But what if I practice more? Could you reconsider?!”

“No is my final answer, little one. I’m a very busy man and I don’t have time to watch you dance just for you to fail.”

Embarrassed. You felt so embarrassed. You genuinely thought Taehyung was enjoying your show. Well, it sure as hell looked like it. A gloomy look took over your face and you walked towards the door to leave.

“Don’t give me that pouty face, little one.”

Taehyung abruptly pulled you on his lap and attached his lips to yours. You didn’t respond until Taehyung’s hand spanked your butt, causing you to moan.

“Grind on me, baby. I know you want it just as much as I do.”

You rubbed your clit harder against his bulge until you released. “Keep moving, little one. Help daddy cum too.” He growled, before grabbing your face and kissing you again. Deep moans left his mouth turning you on even more. His hands all over your body — it felt euphoric.

Taehyung let out one last groan before cumming in his pants. “Fuck! You’re so fucking good.” he kissed your jawline and moved down to your neck.

“How about this, little one. You become my personal dancer and I pay you money. You can stay with me, I’ll buy you everything you need as long as you accompany me and satisfy my sexual needs.”

“Like a sugar daddy?”

“Exactly”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Rules:

No dating

No lying

No revealing clothes

If something is wrong, tell him

No swearing

Don’t be bratty

Obey him

Never reject his kisses

Don’t leave without his permission

Answer his calls and texts immediately

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

How he’s like:

Taehyung’s a charming, gentleman

He treats you like a queen

He never ignores you

You’re his first priority

This man spoils the shit out of you

He buys you luxurious clothes and accessories

For your birthday, he bought you a brand new Porsche convertible

Taehyung’s very possessive, but you honestly don’t mind

You love spending time with him anyways

Anytime another male is too close to you, he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him

If you hug him, his hands will immediately go down to your ass and grab it

He’s very affectionate

Even at important events, Taehyung will always hug you, kiss your lips, cheeks and forehead in front of anyone

Sometimes you forget that you’re his sugar baby because he treats you like his wife

Your opinion matters to him

Whether it’s a big or small decision, he always wants to hear what you think

In the morning, he makes you breakfast

Especially if you had a long night with him (if ykyk)

When he’s doing work, he makes you sit on his lap and do some cock warming

Taehyung loves travelling with you

He’d rent out expensive villas or hotel room

Taehyung loves swimming with you

The man enjoys your company

You’re so lovable, sweet and innocent

It was almost like you were made for him

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Yandere Taehyung:

Taehyung was secretly obsessed with you

After he hired you as a waiter, he wanted to know everything about you

Since the job application required your address, Taehyung knew where you lived

He broke into your apartment and hid tiny cameras in places you’d never see

There were cameras in your kitchen, living room, bedroom and bathroom

He did this to keep an eye on you and make sure that you’re not seeing another man

When you’re at work, Taehyung stops by your apartment and takes some of your underwear to get off

He hacked into all your social media accounts, unfollowed guys he didn’t like and checked your dm’s regularly to make sure nobody was trying to get with you

If you made plans with your friends, Taehyung would show up (in disguise) and watch you from afar

Whenever you had plans or even a date, Taehyung would call you and say that more waiters are needed and he will pay extra because it’s an emergency

So you end up cancelling on your friends/date which angers them

Soon, your friends stopped inviting you to hang out because you always cancel last minute because of work

Taehyung’s plan was too isolated you from your friends which gives him the perfect opportunity to swoop in and be your one and only companion

And what do you know, his plan worked

Not only that but since you have no friends anymore, you’re always with him

So he never has to worry about you fooling around behind his back

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Sex Life:

Taehyung was incredible in bed

He never failed to satisfy your sexual needs

You’ve both tried so many kinky things in bed and it was honestly fun

He was addicted to eating you out

Hickeys all over your body. Between your thighs, on your stomach and chest. All over your neck, collar bone and jawline.

Taehyung loves marking what’s his

Traditional rough sex + doggy

But hey, it gets the job done

Three round minimum, 7 rounds maximum

Taehyung will always cum inside of you

He loves watching himself cum into your little hole

He gets more turned on when watches cum his leaking out of your hole and running down your thigh

Dry humping is something he’s into

The idea of both of your coming without having actual sex drives him crazy

Blowjobs for days

He loves watching you suck him off

Make eye contact with him while you suck and he’ll have an orgasm

You must swallow all of his cum

Don’t spit it out

Before Taehyung got you, he used to use your underwear to masturbate

You eventually started to notice that a bunch of your panties disappeared

Therefore, Taehyung returned most of them (except for his favourites), some washed, some not

Taehyung could literally cum to the thought of you wearing panties covered in his dried-up cum

It made him hard just thinking about it

Over time, you notice Taehyung becoming more aggressive in bed

It would get so bad that you’d have to use the safe word to get him to stop

You noticed he started doing things he’s never discussed with you before

Sometimes, you cry under him because he scares you

He’d pin your hands above your head and fuck as hard as he could

You were not used to it nor were you a big fan of it

He was taking everything out on you

Taehyung would start at 21:30 and finish at 04:00

Unknowingly, Taehyung’s yandere side took over him

Some may know him as V

His cruel and sadistic side who felt no remorse whatsoever

V’s kinks are dark and heavy

He choked you until you couldn’t breathe, tied you up so you couldn’t move, and slapped you when you asked him to stop

V enjoyed watching you cry too

Overstimulation was the worst part

Your core was crying for a break but V couldn’t care less

The man fucked you until you passed out

Minimum 7 rounds, maximum... there’s no maximum

In the morning, he’d still be deep in you and depending on his mood, he may or may not fuck you again

At this point, you didn’t care if it was Taehyung or V, you needed to leave him

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Trying to break off the (3 years) contract:

This is when Taehyung goes fucking insane.

After nights of relentless sex, you finally decide to break the contract. You couldn’t handle the abuse anymore. Sex every night to “remind you of your place” was complete bullshit. You stayed with him for two more months, hoping that the old, sweet Taehyung would come back and save you.

Unfortunately, he never did. After you lost all hope, you wanted to get away from Taehyung as soon as possible. He can keep all the gifts and money he’s given you if that means freedom.

You woke up only to see Taehyung missing from the bed. He must’ve gone to work, you thought. You get ready and pack all of the clothes you brought to his mansion. You write a small message on a notepad, saying that it’s over. You didn’t dare to tell him face to face because you knew exactly where it would’ve lead to.

You left his mansion and took the bus back to your apartment. An hour later, Taehyung was blowing up your phone, spamming you with messages.

“Where the fuck are you?!”

“Answer my calls!”

“Explain the message on the notepad!”

“What do you mean that we’re “done” ?”

“The contract’s not over yet! I still fucking own you.”

“Get your ass over here!”

“You’re making your punishment worse for yourself.”

“How can you say goodbye to me like this?! Do I mean nothing to you?!”

“You’re going to regret this!”

“Come back here, now!”

“Stay where you are, I’m on my way!”

You started to tear up because you were petrified. You drop your phone in fear and ran into your closet. You hid in a basket full of your clothes so no one could see you. Not even a minute passed and Taehyung was banging on your apartment door.

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, Y/N.”

You covered your mouth, stopping the sobs from coming out. You needed to find a weapon. You looked around your closet and that’s when you spotted something.

A camera.

A tiny camera is hidden in plain sight. Your heart dropped to your stomach. How long has that been there? Who placed it there? Your mind immediately went to Taehyung. You were trying to connect the dots but how could he have possibly gotten into your apartment?

You stopped questioning when you heard Taehyung break down the door. He came right to your bedroom and opened the closet door. He pulled out the basket you were hiding. “Get up.”

That’s when you knew the camera belonged to him. He knew your exact location. You couldn’t help but wonder how long he’s been watching you.

You take a deep breath in and stand up. Taehyung’s fierce eyes encountered your terrified ones. He grabbed your jaw and pulled your face close to his.

“What the fuck were you thinking?! You nearly gave me a heart attack! I thought one of my enemies kidnapped you but no! You just left me with a shitty ass note.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?!” Taehyung pinched the bridge of his nose. “SORRY?! THAT’S ALL YOU FUCKING GOT?!”

He picked up your glass jewelry box and threw it on the floor. The whole thing shattered, causing you to burst out in tears. “T- Taehyung! Stop! Stop it! You’re scaring me!”

“Good bitch. Seems like I haven’t scared you enough because you still have the nerve to fucking leave me.”

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Omg, I finally wrote something after months of being an unproductive piece of shit.

This is bad, but I still hope you enjoyed 😊

Oh and I apologize for any mistakes. Like always, I’m half asleep:)

xoxo,

naina❣️

[captain-josslett]

Broken Melody - Part Fifty Nine

Masterlist

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 8k

Warnings: ⚠️ Major level angst and suicidal thoughts ⚠️

Pairings: Alex Danvers x Sam Arias, Kara Danvers x OC

This Part: Emma is trying to cope with her break up with Diana, but has everything become too much and she finally snaps?

Okay, this has been a very difficult chapter to write as I'm poured a lot of myself and my own thoughts into this. Please understand that everyone reacts differently to situations so the way in which Emma deals with everything may not be how you would deal with it. Plus everyones mental health journey will be different from yours. This is based on mine.

Also, please do not read if you aren't feeling up to it. I am happy for you to DM me and I can talk you through what has happened.

Remember, you are loved, you are enough and you are important.

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please! I like knowing your thoughts.

Taglist: @finleyfray, @life-is-hella-unfair, @natasha-danvers, @supergirl-writingz, @camslightstories, @inquisitive-nix, @thinking1bee, @aznblossom, @checkingoutforheroes, @mmmmokdok, @certainkryptoniangeek, @starmako26

Eliza stares up at the ceiling, clinging to J’onn as they lay in bed. Her heart is breaking for her daughter, she just wants to make things right for her baby girl. Her mind worries what this could do to Emma, who has already been through so much. How much more could she take?

When everyone had gone to bed Eliza sobbed quietly into J’onn’s shoulder while he comforted her. Crying tears of his own. It had worried them greatly how much pain they witnessed within Emma’s eyes, despite her blank expression.

Eliza notices the room is slowly getting brighter and decides she isn’t going back to sleep. She sighs heavily and slowly sits up, causing J’onn to stir and gently places his hand on her back.

“Are you okay?” J’onn whispers softly.

“I just can’t sleep anymore.” Eliza answers quietly before getting up and wrapping a dressing gown around her. J’onn yawns and sits up while Eliza quietly leaves the room. She heads down the hallway and pauses outside Emma’s door. Hearing silence from the room she carefully opens the door as quietly as she can.

Alex and Kara both sadly gaze up at her, their eyes shining in the early morning light. Emma is in between them clinging to Alex’s front while Kara is pressed against her back.

Eliza comes over and sits on the edge of the bed. “Have either of you slept?”

Both of her daughters shake their heads.

“Has Emma?”

“She’s just fallen asleep.” Alex whispers mournfully and yawns.

“She’s been crying for hours.” Kara whispers defeatedly.

Eliza nods and focuses on Emma’s face. Clear tear streaks have dried down her cheeks and her expression is one of clear distress, despite being asleep. Eliza swallows deeply and tenderly tucks some hair behind Emma’s ear.

“Get some sleep.” Eliza whispers and kisses the top of Alex and Kara’s heads. Her daughters snuggle back into Emma and close their eyes. Eliza sadly watches them and gets up to quietly leave the room. She heads downstairs and hovers by the door while J’onn and Robyn have a discussion.

“Was she as bad as this?” J’onn asks while pouring hot water from a kettle into three mugs.

“She was worse in some ways, but she didn’t look so defeated, so lost.” Robyn thanks J’onn for the cup of tea and taps the mug in thought. “For weeks she stayed in bed, stared blankly into space, would hardly eat anything and only slept occasionally.” Robyn sighs. “Eventually I knew I had to get her up and out of the flat, that’s why I booked Abbey Studios to try and coax her out. Told her my management had done it instead. Thankfully the plan worked and she kept herself busy and helped me with my album. But, other than the de-stress room, I don’t think she truly dealt with it.”

Eliza makes her presence known and sits on the other stool. J’onn slides her coffee to her. “It being?”

“The break up, how she felt abandoned.” Robyn takes a sip of her drink, noticing how J’onn and Eliza’s heads lower. “Plus she hadn’t figured out about her powers yet and had the nosebleeds, headaches etc.”

“But?” J’onn asks, hearing Robyn’s thoughts race around.

“But, I feel she’s worse. Her eyes look even more dead and I thought she had hit rock bottom after Luthor broke up with her. This time, it feels like she’s slammed through that rock bottom and is free falling again.”

“Is there-” Eliza’s voice cracks and she swallows to ease the tension in her throat. “What did you do to help her?”

“In the beginning I just tried to support her. Bring her food, sit with her. Maybe we can book another de-stress room? Or you guys can make one?” Robyn tilts her head as her eyes flick between the couple.

Footsteps sound on the stairs and Sam appears in the doorway. “What is a de-stress room?” She yawns and sits on the other stool. J’onn goes to make her a cup of coffee.

“It’s a room or warehouse with items that you can break. Stuff like crockery, broken electronic equipment, the one I took Em to had a car. She beat the crap out of it.” Robyn shakes her head, remembering the disbelief she felt watching Emma bend the metal like it was nothing.

“We could arrange something like that.” J’onn says and passes Sam her drink.

“And what about Alistair?” Sam asks softly while taking a sip of her drink.

“I’ll contact him.” J’onn says and nods in approval of Sam’s suggestion.

“Yea, she mentioned him and his dog, Lily.” Robyn confirms.

They sit in silence, all lost in their own thoughts.

Hours pass and eventually everyone comes down to begin the day. Other than the Danvers sisters.

The group quietly plays a few games until it is time for lunch.

“Shall I go wake them?” Sam asks after she had set up the table with Lena.

“No, leave them to rest.” Eliza says softly and sits in her usual seat while Ruby goes to sit next to Lena and gives the raven haired woman a long hug.

They begin eating but the mood around the table is quiet and sombre.

Ruby fidgets and plays with her food, a frown sits permanently on her face while she thinks.

“Rubes?” Sam asks, noticing her restless daughter.

“It’s nothing.” Ruby says quietly.

“Your crinkle says otherwise.” Lucy says lightheartedly, causing Ruby to try and relax her face.

The teen glances at Lena before telling the group what’s on her mind. “I just, I can’t believe Diana did that.” Ruby huffs out. “Why did she do it?” She turns back to Lena, her eyes glistening with tears. “Why did she do that to you? What did you do? Why did she hurt Emma? I thought she loved her-” A sob erupts from Ruby’s mouth, Lena reaches out to hug her and Sam makes her way over to her daughter.

“We won’t know for sure and it’s better not to speculate.” Brainy answers and a few others nod.

“Will you go looking for her?” Ruby gulps out, feeling more and more conflicted over her feelings towards Diana.

“No, I don’t believe we will.” J’onn answers and Ruby deflates in relief. “Although I have contacted Bruce Wayne and he is going to look out for her.”

“I disagree.” Winn slams his hand on the table.

“Winn-” Lena starts softly but is cut off.

“She hurt you! Almost gave you second degree burns and I still stand with that cause your skin would have blistered if not for Emma healing you.”

Before anyone can say anything Sam’s head whips up and she places her fingers against her lips. “They’re awake.”

Eliza immediately starts plating up food for her daughters and the group hear footsteps coming down the stairs.

Kara enters first, her face is sullen but she gives Ben a glum smile. She leads a downcasted Emma into the room with Alex right behind their sister.

Kara continues to lead them over to the three empty chairs where Alex and Kara help Emma into the middle one. Tears continue to drip from Emma’s puffy eyes and she sniffs heavily, breaking everyones’ heart in the room.

After some silence Ben takes a deep breath. “So, what are the plans for the next couple of days?”

The Superfriends try to keep conversation light and upbeat as they list off things they haven’t done yet.

“Could we go bowling?” Ruby asks hopefully.

“That sounds like a great idea.” Alex smiles over at her.

“With Emma wearing dampeners this time!” Lucy laughs but Emma’s lips barely move into a smile.

“Are we still going to the new year party in town?” Nia enquiries.

“Yes, or we can stay here.” Eliza says with a small smile.

“So no fancy galas?!” Ruby asks excitedly, making Lena chuckle.

“No fancy galas. Well, there is one but Jess is taking care of it.” Lena explains before focusing on Alex. “I will need to return to L-Corp after the new year.” Lena presses and the redhead tilts her head. “I have some projects that I cannot-”

“I understand Lena.” Alex says softly. “But would you be willing to have some DEO agents to enter your security team?”

“It would make me feel more comfortable.” Kara says, activating her puppy dog eyes, knowing Lena struggles to say no to them.

Lena shakes her head and rolls her eyes at the gesture. “Fine, but they have to wear suits, none of the body armour or DEO uniform.”

“Agreed.” Alex confirms.

Lena nods and her eyes quickly glance over at Emma, who pushes her food around her plate. A pang hits her and she swallows at the sight.

“As nice as it has been in Midvale we will need to return back to normality at some point.” Lucy sighs.

“Yea, even with all the drama.” Nia jokes. ”Life of a Superfriend I guess.” Nia smiles and a few of the others laugh.

But Emma’s head lowers even more. How can she return to normality when her normal has crashed and burned. The thought of going back to her apartment in National City fills Emma with dread and anxiety. Even though she feels completely broken and numb, a deep grief hits her heart. Her mind starts going through every mistake she has made, analysing every wrong doing she did that made Lena and Diana leave her.

‘I’m never enough.’ Emma thinks brokenly and her face crumbles. She sniffs loudly, a lump enters her throat and tears threaten to spill over again. She starts rocking to soothe herself but this draws the attention of the others.

“Oh sweetheart.” Eliza says and reaches over Alex to take Emma’s hand.

The sisters go to comfort Emma as well but it gets too much for her, she lets go of Eliza’s hand and pushes Alex and Kara off her. She rushes from the room and escapes back to the safety of her bed, voicelessly sobbing the whole way.

Alex presses her lips together and silently communicates with Kara. The blonde has tears gathering in her eyes and nods. They quickly get up to follow Emma. Alex grabs some bottles of water along the way and Kara carries their plates of food up. They find her curled up under the covers, Alex pulls them back, revealing Emma’s scrunched up face as she voicelessly cries.

“Oh little one.” Kara says sadly and they climb back into bed to comfort their baby sister. Kara gently pulls Emma onto her lap and Emma immediately clings to her. Kara gently rocks her back and forth while softly singing a Kryptonian lullaby. Alex scoots closer and gently strokes Emma’s face. Both wishing they could take Emma’s pain away.

Some time later Emma has calmed down and is still curled up on Kara’s lap. Alex watches with concern as Emma’s eyes become more and more empty. She tries to softly reassure her sister that everything will be okay, that they are there for her. But it seems Emma isn’t listening or can’t hear her. At some point Emma buries her head into Kara’s chest and her hair blankets her face from view. But she does take Alex’s hand, which makes the redhead want to tear up.

There is a gentle knock on the door and Alex quietly calls out for them to enter. She turns to see who it is and Sam silently comes into the room.

“Hey, how is she?” The brunette asks as softly as she can.

Alex shakes her head slightly, hating how depressed Emma has gotten and wishes she could think of a way to help her.

Deep compassion crosses Sam’s face and her shoulders sag. “Due to the sunshine we are thinking about going for a walk down to the beach.”

“Hear that Em?” Kara says gently and looks down at her sister but she is unable to see her face due to the mass of blonde, wavy hair. Alex reaches out and tenderly moves Emma’s head to face her and parts the damp hair. Her heart breaks at how dead Emma’s eyes have become.

“Would you like to go down to the beach for a bit? Get some fresh air?” Alex asks kindly but Emma’s eyes stay unfocused. “Emma?”

Suddenly Emma blinks and focuses again.

“Hey, there you are.” Alex smiles brightly at her sister. “We are going to go down to the beach for a bit, it will be good to get some fresh air, stretch our legs?”

Emma stares at Alex for a few more seconds until she hesitantly nods.

“Great, I’ll let everyone know you are coming.” Sam smiles and leaves the room.

Taking a deep breath in, Emma sluggishly lifts herself off Kara and rolls off the bed. She shakily stands to her feet and heads to her wardrobe.

“It’s a little bit chilly so dress warmly.” Alex orders before leaving to change into her own clothes.

Emma doesn’t acknowledge her and instead keeps staring at her clothes. She doesn’t even hear Kara superspeeding to the room she was sharing with Ben and changing to then rush back to her side.

“Need a little help?” Kara asks gently and Emma lowers her head in defeat, unable to decide what to wear. “Okay, well jeans, t-shirt, nice top.” Kara starts pulling the items off and laying them on the bed. “Hoodie… Do you want to wear your Supergirl hoodie or something else?”

Emma points at the wardrobe and Kara selects a baby blue, pink and orange tie dye hoodie. She helps Emma change and takes her hand to lead her downstairs. Something little Emma did when Kara first joined the family. The action isn’t lost on Kara and she somewhat feels she is repaying Emma for her unconditional kindness and love all those years ago.

“Here they are.” J’onn says with a smile and hands them their coats. He frowns at Emma’s vacant expression and tries to listen in on her thoughts, but he cannot make sense of the mass of noise coming from Emma’s mind.

Kara takes the leather jacket and puts it on Emma with the help of Robyn. Alex gets Emma’s converses and puts them on her feet with Kara helping to keep Emma steady so she doesn’t fall.

The Superfriends sadly watch and a few go outside to wait, hating seeing Emma in this state.

Lena walks further from the house and crosses her arms, she gazes at the area Diana had trapped her in. The words Diana had yelled at her as the lasso burned hotter. The utter terror and panic she felt.

“Hey.” Sam says as she comes up beside Lena, making her jump. “You okay?”

“Fine.”

“Hmm, fucked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional.” Sam lists off and a small smile graces Lena’s lips.

“Sounds about right.” She says softly.

The group emerges from the house and starts walking down to the beach. Emma is placed in the middle, being guarded from onlookers and surrounded by her friends and family. Alex and Kara link their arms with hers, which she clings to and keeps her head lowered.

Eliza and J’onn walk behind them holding hands. “Can you hear her thoughts?”

J’onn tries again but ends up shaking his head. “There’s too many thoughts jumbling together. I can’t make sense of it.”

Eliza sighs heavily, worried about her baby girl. “When can Alistair come over?”

“Tomorrow morning.” J’onn says unhappily. “If I could I’d go and get him now but he has prior commitments.”

They make their way onto the beach and Emma seems to come around as she smells the salty air. She lowers herself onto a rock and stares at the rolling waves.

For a brief moment her mind quietens and she leans down to take her converses and socks off. She rolls up her jeans and heads towards the surf, hugging her arms tightly around herself.

When her feet touch the freezing sea, Emma doesn’t even flinch. She takes deep breaths and keeps her eyes fixed on the horizon.

‘How easy would it be just to keep walking and disappear forever?’ Emma’s mind wonders quietly and her destructive thoughts start to whirl.

The tide keeps hitting her calves and rolls back out again before whooshing over her now numb feet.

But Emma stays perfectly still.

Robyn watches her best friend while sitting next to Lucy. She pulls her phone out and takes a photo, framing Emma perfectly in the middle. She lowers her phone and sadly gazes down at it.

“Robyn? You okay?” Lucy asks and the brunette gently shakes her head.

“Something’s wrong, I’ve never seen her like this. Well, she was similar but not this bad.” Her worried crystal blue eyes focus on Lucy’s before moving past her to Lena. Robyn frowns at the raven haired woman’s sorrowful expression but turns back to Emma.

They watch as Ruby takes her shoes off to stand next to Emma. When her feet hit the water she shrieks and retreats, causing Emma to spin around.

When she sees what has happened Emma’s face breaks out into a genuine smile. Ruby makes another attempt and squeaks with every footstep she takes trying to get closer to the blonde. Emma holds out her hand, which Ruby takes.

“It’s so cold!” Ruby squeals and Emma chuckles deepy. Taking pity on the teen she wades back to the shoreline and Ruby starts gathering rocks. She hands a few to Emma to throw into the ocean. Emma takes them and starts expertly skimming them out to sea, remembering the amount of times she did this with her Dad.

“How do you do that?” Ruby asks in frustration as each of her rocks slam into the water.

Emma takes her hand and manoeuvres it, showing Ruby the correct flicking motion.

“Can we be of any assistance?” Brainy asks kindly and Winn, Alya, Mary and Nia join them on the shoreline. Mary and Nia play with the tide to not get wet. Winn, trying to show some strength, allows the wave to roll over his feet. But, similar to Ruby, shrieks at how cold the water is, making Emma roll her eyes and smile.

Emma motions for them to show Ruby too. After a few tries Ruby finally skims a rock that jumps a few times before plopping into the sea.

“I did it!” Ruby yells triumphantly and Emma pulls her into a one arm hug before Ruby high fives and hugs the others.

Nia’s eyes meet Emma’s but the blonde turns back to the horizon and she takes a few deep breaths in. She feels Nia get closer but doesn’t turn to look at her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to speak to you yesterday. What happened after Brainy woke me up?” She asks quietly. “It roared ‘I am your doom’. Did you see it, did it hurt you?”

Emma nods for the first question and then shakes her head for the other, but not really wanting to communicate about the grotesque monster that had charged at her. But she couldn’t shake the image of the hateful glowing red eyes or its vengeful howl. “I will destroy you and everything you love!”

“Little one?” Kara’s voice breaks through, making Emma blink. “We’re heading back to the house.”

Emma sighs and lowers her head. Nia links arms with her as they slowly make their way back up to the beach.

“Do you want to put your shoes on?” Kara asks and Emma shakes her head, being used to walking barefoot. Especially on the path back home.

She listens to the Superfriends chatting and Lena’s laugh at a silly joke Winn had said, but her mind turns to Diana.

Absentmindedly she fiddles with the glass heart that her girl- ex had given her. A pang of grief hits her chest and her head explodes with pain, causing her to stumble into the side of a tree.

“Emma!” Alex yells and is beside her in an instant.

Emma’s vision is blurry from the tears gathering in her eyes, she voicelessly starts sobbing and slides to her knees. Unable to keep herself upright due to her overwhelming grief and pain.

‘I’m never enough.’

Hands steady her and try to rub soothingly into her arms and back. But Emma cannot hear the comforting words of her Mom and sisters. Instead she focuses on the hateful and malicious words screaming at her in her mind.

“Pathetic.”

“-keep wasting my time-”

“You are weak!”

“-what good are you-”

“Waste of space.”

“-can’t pretend to love you-”

“I don’t love you.”

“-nothing more than a distraction-”

Over and over the voices scream at her. She rocks and cries, feeling the build up behind her scrunched up eyes.

“Emma.” Lena’s calm voice whispers softly over the others.

Emma feels familiar, comforting hands take her own.

“Please hear me.” Lena’s voice pleads.

Emma continues to rock, the pain behind her eyes intensifying.

“You are enough, you’ve always been enough.” Lena whispers so tenderly.

“SHE’S LYING!” A voice yells in her mind.

“You are incredible, you light up a room as soon as you walk into it.”

“DON’T LISTEN TO HER!”

“I love everything about you. Your smile, your kind heart, the way your nose scrunches when you laugh-”

“YOU CAN’T TRUST HER!”

Emma lunges forward and lets go of Lena’s hands to tightly place them over her eyes.

She silently screams at the blinding pain in her head.

“Emma, just let go.” Lena says softly.

Emma’s hands are suddenly forced down by someone else and her eyes snap open in shock. A surge of golden heat vision blasts into a nearby boulder. It begins to glow with the intense heat and finally explodes.

Finally it dies out and Emma sways as a droplet of blood falls from her nose. She feels arms encircle her as she falls backwards. Her head rests on Alex’s shoulder and she stares blankly up at the clear blue sky.

“Em?” Alex asks worriedly.

“I believe she is okay.” Brainy says beside her and continues to analyse the blonde’s condition.

“Why did you do that?” Alex seethes at him. “You could have gotten Lena hurt.”

This catches Emma’s attention and her eyes move to Brainy before finding a clearly concerned Lena being held by Sam.

If Sam hadn't yanked Lena away before Emma’s eyes opened, there’s no telling what would have happened.

“She needs to unlock her powers, the longer she waits the more pain she is in.” Brainy explains passionately.

Kara kneels quickly next to Alex. “We should get her inside, there are people coming up the path.”

Alex nods and glances down at an exhausted Emma. But what worries her more is how her sister’s eyes have glazed over. “Can you carry her?”

Kara nods, carefully placing her hands under her baby sister and gently lifts her up. They walk quietly to the house where Kara places Emma on one of the sofas in the back room.

Alex gets a cold, wet cloth and diligently starts cleaning the tears and blood off of Emma’s face.

“Em? Can you hear me?” Alex asks softly but Emma keeps staring ahead, unable to break out of her thoughts.

After Alex finishes her task she carefully lifts her sister’s torso, supporting her neck and sits down, resting Emma’s head on her lap. She tries communicating with her sister again but Emma continues to stare off into the distance.

“Do you wanna play UNO?” Ruby asks hopefully, holding the pack up.

“Have you asked anyone else?” Alex asks and Ruby nods.

“They are all up for a few games.” Ruby answers and glances down at Emma. “Em, do you wanna play?”

But Emma doesn’t acknowledge her.

“What’s wrong with her?” Ruby asks with wide eyes.

“She’s resting, do you remember how tired you got after our first training session?”

Ruby nods.

“Well Em’s been thrown in the deep end and it’s taking more of a toll on her. She’ll be okay.” Alex says and strokes Emma's hair. “Why don’t you clear the coffee table and we can play around that?”

Ruby does so and the Superfriends gather around. Kara, Ben and Lucy sit in front of the sofa so they wouldn’t have to jostle Emma to have her lie on their laps.

They manage to enjoy the games and a few hours pass. Alex periodically looks down to check on Emma, but she hasn’t moved or made any noise. Soon a light dinner is served and Alex tries to get Emma to respond about eating. But her eyes remain glazed over. The Superfriends chat amongst themselves, Kara and Alex watch as Lucy and Robyn continue to get more and more cosy with each other.

Kara raises an eyebrow at her sister when Emma suddenly takes a big intake of breath, causing Alex’s head to snap down at her sister.

Slowly Emma’s hazel green eyes focus and she blinks up at a worried looking Alex.

“Hey, we really must stop meeting like this.” Alex jokes but Emma stares up at her blankly, making Alex frown.

“Sweetheart?” Eliza comes over to see her youngest daughter. “Would you like something to eat?”

Emma’s eyes sluggishly move over to her Mom but she makes no motion of what she wants.

“You need to eat, Peanut.” Alex says as she runs her hand through Emma’s hair.

“I’ll make you a grilled cheese.” Eliza decides and heads to the kitchen.

Kara pops up onto her knees and gazes down at her sister. “Hello there!” She says like Obi-Wan, hoping to get a reaction from Emma. The blonde slightly grins but it doesn’t reach her eyes. However, this was enough for Kara and Alex.

Eliza brings the grilled cheese and Pepsi Max can over. Her sisters help Emma to sit up, but she only manages to eat half of it.

They start playing UNO again and Emma seems to pull herself out of her slump. She smiles and jokes along and manages to win a few rounds. Soon a couple of hours have passed.

“How do you do that?!” Winn yells as Emma goes out again. She lightly grins and shrugs.

Alex yawns beside her and shakes her head to stay awake.

“I think we need to all head to bed early tonight.” Eliza comments and mostly everyone agrees.

“Ah noooo!” Ruby whines. “I’m so close to figuring out Emma’s strategy!”

Emma winks at her before getting to her feet. She hugs each Superfriend goodnight, holding on to each of them a bit longer than normal, even with Lena and heads up to bed with her sisters.

“You can go sleep in your own beds, I will be fine.” Emma signs but Alex and Kara shake their heads in sync.

“We are not leaving you, little one.” Kara pulls Emma into a hug to try and reassure her sister.

“Yea, we’d rather be here for you.” Alex confirms and heads into the bathroom to brush her teeth.

Emma nods and changes into her long, plaid pyjama bottoms and tank top. She goes to brush her teeth after Alex, crawls onto the bed and gets under the covers.

Her body is tense and restless. Her mind whirls in agony and she just wants it to end.

She lies flat on her back and waits for Alex and Kara to say goodnight to their partners. They come back and lay down either side of her. Alex turns the light off and Kara turns her dampeners on. They curl into Emma and fall straight to sleep, having been exhausted from the past few days.

But Emma stays awake as tears build up in her eyes before slowly dripping down the sides of her face.

After an hour she hears that both Kara and Alex are in a deep sleep. Their grip becomes lax and Emma carefully climbs out of the bed. She silently changes back into her clothes and writes a note, placing it on Alex’s side of the bed by the light.

Getting onto her knees she quietly pulls out the bag of alcohol and finds that only Kara’s alien alcohol is left. She grabs her backpack and puts in as many bottles as it can take.

Heading over to the window Emma looks over her sisters one last time and listens out to everyone in the house. Her hearing focuses on Lena’s light snores until she turns and silently opens the window. She carefully climbs out and slides the window shut. Pressing her hand on the glass, she takes a deep breath in and turns to jump down to the ground below.

Landing lightly she takes off into the night towards the forest, finding she can see perfectly in the darkness.

Her mind whirls as she runs and with each step the voices grow louder. With each step her resolve grows stronger.

Finally she makes it to her and Alex’s spot. The moonlight shines brightly on the cliff and Emma sits on the all too familiar boulder where she and Alex have had many talks.

Taking her backpack off Emma takes a bottle out, opens it and drinks. Wanting to numb the emotional turmoil she is feeling, hoping it will quiet the voices screaming in her mind.

But they continue to loudly point out her flaws, her weaknesses, her failings.

She repeats the process of gulping the alcohol down and opens new bottles, feeling the buzz surge through her body.

‘Never enough, weak, failure, disappointment, distraction.’ On and on Emma’s mind battles against her.

She taps the bottle and hears the clinging it makes. She lifts her hand and notices her many rings and bracelets that Diana had bought for her. She remembers each and every time Diana presented them to her. The smiles, the kisses, the endless hours of sex, the whispered I love yous.

Finishing the bottle she slams it beside her, smashing it to pieces and starts ripping off the jewellery Diana gave her. She goes for the necklace first, snapping it off her neck and flings it to the ground. Next are the rings before she rips the bracelets off one at a time. She gets to the last one, Ruby’s woven friendship bracelet and she halts.

Unable to break it she sniffs and looks at the carnage she has caused. The memories that are now broken and scattered on the rocky surface.

Her face scrunches up as tears fill her eyes. Sobs erupt from her mouth and she lifts her head back, bawling in utter agony.

Collapsing to her knees Emma punches the rock over and over while she cries. Having the satisfaction of feeling the cliff face vibrate with each punch. Her eyes burn and she allows the heat vision to spark to life. Carving deeply into the rock.

Finally it flares out and Emma collapses forward, feeling the rock on the cliff edge shift.

‘Please, just break, take me with you.’ Emma begs. ‘I don’t want to live anymore, I don't want to feel this pain.’

Emma sobs and pulls at her hair. The torment of her heart and mind becoming too much for her to handle.

– – –

Alex jumps awake. Something woke her up. She glances at the illuminated bedside clock and sees it has gone six in the morning.

Yawning, she reaches out for Emma but feels cold sheets behind her. Spinning round she notices that Emma isn’t between herself and Kara anymore.

She turns the light on and notices the note by the light.

“Mmmm, Al?” Kara whines out from being woken up by the light and covers her eyes with her hands.

‘I’m sorry.’

Alex’s blood turns to ice as she rereads the note. Something was wrong with Emma. She jumps up and sprints downstairs to grab her shoes and a hoodie. Ignoring Kara’s yells she races out of the house to find her sister.

Alex’s heart pounds as she runs through the forest and instinctively follows the path to their spot.

‘Please be there. Please be there.’ Her mind screams repeatedly.

Finally she makes it to the top of the cliff and her heart breaks at the sight of her sister kneeling on the ground with bottles scattered around her. Alex can clearly see Emma’s shoulders are shaking from her cries.

“Em.” Alex gasps mournfully, rushing to kneel in front of Emma with her back to the cliff edge and flings her arms around her. “I’m here, I got you.”

She feels Emma jump but she buries her wet face into the crook of Alex’s neck while her tears continue to fall.

“Just breathe for me, okay?” Alex says softly, trying to calm her sister. Eventually Emma takes a deep breath, pulls away from Alex’s arms and rubs her eyes before signing.

“Please leave me alone.”

“No, I am not leaving you.” Alex says passionately. “Look, I know I cannot fully understand what you are going through but I am not going to abandon you, not again. Please, I can’t live without you.” Alex’s voice breaks and tears roll down her face, her chin quivers. “Please listen to me.” She implores, seeing Emma was struggling to believe her. “I am so sorry for what I did. For allowing us to get caught and for hurting you, for killing you, for taking your voice away. I have to live with that pain everyday and those months when you were gone, I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think and the moment I saw you again-” Alex sobs and rests her forehead against Emma’s. “The moment I saw you again-” Alex lifts her head fully to gaze into Emma’s bloodshot eyes. “Was like taking a gulp of air after drowning. I feel whole again and I cannot ever imagine not having you here with me.”

Emma's face scrunches up with emotion and more tears fall.

“I love you. I love you so much and I will not let you down again. Not again. You hear me? I won’t let you down again.” She pulls Emma back into a hug and hears Emma’s ragged breathing. “We will work this out together. I promise. I love you so much.”

She feels Emma slowly lift her arms and hug her back.

“Please Em. Please keep fighting” Alex cries out.

Suddenly Emma pulls back and starts rocking, clearly in pain.

“Em? What’s wrong?” Alex asks but then can see the golden, glowing light behind Emma’s scrunched up eyelids.

‘Heat Vision.’ She thinks in alarm.

But Emma starts to panic and tries to blindly get away from her sister.

“Emma! It’s okay!” Alex pleads but Emma has managed to stumble to her feet. Causing herself to be dangerously close to the edge, terrifying Alex that she will fall. “Please Em!”

Alex stands and grabs Emma’s shoulder. The blonde jumps and her eyes snap open. A golden beam shoots from her eyes and hits the rock beneath them. Alex watches in horror as the cliff crumbles away and she starts falling to the ground far below them.

Alex screams loudly and Emma tumbles with her.

The redhead's life flashes before her eyes. Her regrets taking centre stage, not getting to marry Sam, being a Mom to Ruby. Making things right for Emma.

Emma.

Dark eyes connect with panicked hazel green. Alex tries to reach out for her sister but time is going too quickly. The wind whistles deafening past her ears as gravity pulls them ever closer to the ground. Despite this, Alex just keeps her eyes focused on her sister.

She watches as a determined look crosses Emma’s face and she reaches for Alex. She lunges forward and manages to grab a tight hold of her hoodie. Alex latches onto Emma’s arm and prepares herself for the end.

Suddenly they stop.

But there is no impact.

Alex quickly looks below them. They are still over fifty feet above the ground. The redhead looks around for Kara, Sam or J’onn. But there is only Emma.

“Em?!” Alex gasps out, realising that Emma is hovering. Emma reaches down with her other hand to get a firmer grip on her sister.

“Alex?! Emma?!” Kara’s voice yells out in terror within the forest, having heard Alex’s scream.

The redhead turns her head to the noise, Kara, Sam, J’onn, Eliza, Brainy, Nia, Lucy, Robyn, Winn and Lena appear in the clearing below. All gaping up at them.

Alex slowly turns her head back up to Emma. Who looks frightened and pale. “Em?” Alex asks softly, although her grip is like a vice on Emma’s arms. “Can you lower us back to the ground?”

The blonde bites her lips and looks at the forest floor.

But nothing happens.

“Peanut?”

Emma shakes her head as they stay hovering in place. She is worried that if she moves they will drop quickly. And at this height Alex could be seriously hurt or killed.

Emma looks back down at the ground, at the Superfriends. She feels the panic and guilt inside her growing steadily and she begins to shake, jolting Alex.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Look at me. Focus on me.” Alex says soothingly, recognising Emma’s distress.

Emma’s wide eyes snap back to Alex’s calm ones.

“Erm, are you guys gonna come down soon?” Kara yells up at her sisters, itching to fly up to them. She’s constantly listening for the nearby early morning hikers, praying they don’t head this way.

“Em?” Alex searches Emma’s face and she shakes her head again.

“I don’t know how.” Emma mouths, hoping Alex understands her.

Alex nods at what Emma has mouthed and she carefully turns her head sideways to the ground. Keeping her eyes on her baby sister, who tightens her hold on her clothes. “She doesn’t know how to.” Alex calls down to them but an idea enters her mind. “Kara, Sam, can you fly up here?”

A whoosh and the two are beside them. J’onn positions himself under the group, just in case he needs to catch them. Brainy joins him as well as Ben and Winn.

“Hey.” Sam says gently with a warm smile. “Little stuck?”

Emma barely nods, her muscles are extremely tense and her breathing shallow.

“Okay, well give me Alex and-”

“No!” Alex says firmly.

“Alex.” Kara responds tightly and Emma frowns at her oldest sister.

“We need to help train her.” Alex explains and turns to look Emma right in the eyes. “Why not start now?”

Emma scrunches her face up and shakes her head.

“Hey, hey.” Alex says softly and rubs Emma’s arm. “I trust you. Nothing bad is going to happen. We have plenty of superheroes who are ready to catch us.” Alex says jokingly but Emma stares brokenly back at her. “Can you explain to Emma how to levitate down?” Alex asks Kara and Sam.

“Sure, er, I basically imagine myself floating down. Like when you want to swim down in a pool.” Sam lowers herself before rising back up again.

Emma nods and concentrates. Sam and Kara ready themselves in case Emma suddenly falls. Kara remembers the amount of times she plummeted to the ground when she was honing her powers. But no matter how many times she fell, Emma was always there to encourage her to try again.

“Little one?” Kara speaks gently, causing Emma’s fear filled eyes to snap to hers. “Do you feel stuck?”

Emma nods, the movement jostling her and Alex, making Emma’s eyes widen even more in fear. Her knuckles turn white with how tight her grip is on Alex. It is a wonder how the fabric doesn’t rip.

“Hey, stay calm. You’re alright.” Kara reaches out and places a hand on Emma’s tense shoulder. “Do you remember when we went rock climbing?”

Emma nods, her eyes flickering back to Kara’s.

“And when you went up against the destroyer?” Kara asks and Emma nods. “That was one of the hardest to overcome and you spent ages trying over and over again to do it?”

Emma nods, remembering the moment of triumph she felt when she touched the buzzer but also the extreme exhaustion that overtook her.

“And then when you succeeded you didn’t have the strength to get back down?”

Alex swallows as she listens. Remembering that day well and how proud she was of Emma’s determination.

“And I told you to just let go and let the ropes do the work?” Alex asks encouragingly, seeing where Kara was going with this.

Emma looks down at Alex as tears prick her eyes.

“You were so scared the ropes would snap. But they didn’t.” Kara says. “Our powers are like those ropes. You have to trust them and your own ability.” She says, trying to implore her sister.

Emma’s eyes glance at Kara, Sam and back down to Alex who nods, giving her a small, reassuring smile.

“You can do this. I trust you.”

“You got this Emma!” Robyn’s voice yells up and a few of the Superfriends cheer along with her. Eliza and Lena hold on tightly to each other as they hold their breaths.

Sam and Kara lower themselves slightly underneath the sisters. Holding their arms out to reassure the blonde that they will catch them if they have to.

Emma fixes her gaze on Alex and breathes deeply. Closing her eyes Emma imagines them floating slowly to the ground and tries to trust in it.

“That’s it Peanut!” Alex’s voice makes Emma snap open her eyes and she watches the ground getting closer. The feelings of floating down is indescribable and for a moment Emma wonders what it’s like to really fly. Not just fall with style.

Eventually Alex is able to straighten out and her feet shakily touch the ground. Emma lets go of her and floats a bit away from her.

“Oh Alex!” Eliza grabs onto her daughter and holds her so tight it is a wonder Alex doesn’t snap in half.

“Mom, I'm okay.” Alex hugs her Mom back and watches Emma as she touches down nearby. Relief fills her that they are both okay and she holds her Mom tighter.

Emma gazes mournfully at them, the thrill of hovering leaves her and she looks up at the over two hundred foot cliff edge above them. She can clearly see where it had broken away and her head lowers down to where there are huge boulders of rocks at the bottom. Tears well up in her eyes at the realisation of what would have happened if her powers hadn’t kicked in.

She almost killed Alex.

Overwhelming guilt and grief ploughs into her causing her to stumble backwards, away from the Superfriends.

‘I need to leave, need to run, need to disappear, just going to hurt them, I can’t hurt them-’

J’onn’s head snaps to hers but before Emma can bolt he quickly wraps his arms around her torso, pinning her arms to her side.

‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just can’t- I can’t do this anymore. Why won’t the pain stop? When will it end? Please, I don’t want to be here anymore, I don’t want to live another moment.’

Emma’s destructive thoughts scream out while she thrashes against him, trying to break free from his grip.

“Sweetheart?” Eliza asks in concern and almost gets hit by her daughter’s frailing head.

“Eliza, stay back!” J’onn grunts out and Eliza walks back, placing her hands over her mouth. Kara and Sam spring forward to keep Emma from breaking free.

“Little one, calm down.” Kara tries to plead with her sister. But she can see Emma’s eyes are glazed over.

‘Not enough! Never enough! Unlovable! selfish-’

“Nia!” J’onn yells for the brunette when Emma almost pushes the trio off her. “Sedate her! Now!”

Nia sprints over. “Hold her head!”

Sam and Kara do so and Nia quickly places her hands on Emma’s temples.

Suddenly Emma’s eyes roll back into her head and she goes slack in J’onn’s arms.

Everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

Suddenly a crash of thunder echoes in the distance, making some look up at the darkening sky.

“We better go.” J’onn carefully reaches down and gently lifts Emma into his arms. Kara and Sam help him and gaze sadly down at the unconscious blonde.

J’onn starts walking back towards the house as more thunder rumbles in the distance and the others start to follow in grievous silence.

Lena gazes sorrowfully at Emma when J’onn passes her. She had woken immediately to Alex charging down the stairs and Kara’s yells. Jumping to her feet she rushed from the room to find out what had happened along with everyone else.

Dread had surged through Lena as she followed Kara and Sam while they tracked the sisters’ heartbeats. The moment she heard Alex’s scream she feared the worst but when she charged through the clearing and saw Emma and Alex hovering high in the air. Her mind froze. She watched with bated breath as Emma shook in fear but eventually levitated down.

Intrigued, she turns her head towards the broken boulders scattered around them. She looks up at the gigantic cliff and notes the broken cliff edge. A cliff edge that is pure rock.

Realisation crashes into her, rock doesn’t simply crumble away like that. The implications fill Lena with absolute horror, causing her legs to buckle. Her knees hit the ground heavily and she gulps for air, unable to comprehend a world without Emma in it.

A glint of metal catches her eyes and she reaches for it. She tries to calm her breathing and picks up a necklace with what looks to be a shattered glass heart.

“Symbolic.” She mutters sadly and notices other pieces of jewellery and glass bottles scattered around.

“Lee?” Alex says gently behind her and Lena lowers her head as she stands. “Come on, we need to head back.” Alex reaches for Lena’s hand that is not holding the necklace and squeezes it.

“I did this.” Lena whispers brokenly, causing Alex to step around her.

“We all did.” Alex’s voice breaks and she swallows deeply. “But right now we need to work together to fix it, to help Emma get out of the pit she’s in and believe she is enough.”

Lena shakes her head as tears fall from her eyes. “I should go, leave National City, get out of her life and-”

Alex pulls the raven haired woman into a hug. “That would be the worst thing you could do and you know it.”

“Al? Lee?” Sam calls nearby and the friends pull apart but Alex keeps her hands on Lena’s shoulders.

“You need to tell her.” Alex says reassuringly.

“I don’t deserve to.”

“Let her decide that.” Alex wipes the tears from Lena’s face and takes her hand. Lena quickly composes herself and takes a deep breath.

“Al? Lee?” Sam steps out in the clearing. “A storm is headed this way, we need to leave.”

The pair nod and rush over to the brunette. They quickly walk back to the house in silence, they manage to make it before the rain surges through the trees and the echoes of thunder crash overhead.

They enter the back room and Lena searches for Emma, expecting the blonde to be on one of the sofas.

“She’s in the office with Alistair and Lily.” Kara explains and Lena nods. Her throat feels tight as she tries to hold back the sobs that want to erupt from her lips. “Hey, hey.” Kara coos and pulls her best friend into a hug. Lena can’t hold back anymore and she softly cries into Kara’s shoulder.

“Oh honey.” Eliza murmurs softly and places a comforting hand on Lena’s shoulder. Kara lets Lena go and immediately Lena turns towards Eliza, falling into her motherly embrace. “We’ll get her through this.”

The radio plays softly in the background and a lyric catches everyone’s attention, giving them hope.

"It's always darkest before the dawn."

(Sixty)

[reidsaurora]

babes are you okay?? why you have surgery? (if you're okay with me asking ofc) :(

hi, rups!!! thank you so much for checking in! i am so sorry i'm just now getting a chance to answer this, it's been a long and busy day for sure 🤣❤️

i was gonna say long story short but i feel like there's just no way to tell this story in a short version so buckle up! there will probably be a lot of reading 🤣 also i'm gonna highlight the important words just in case that will help to explain the important parts of this extremely long story 💀

so back in 2015, i got diagnosed with crohn's disease, which is basically where you can inflammation anywhere in the lining of your digestive tract, so anywhere from your mouth to your booty. mine has always been throughout different places in the digestive tract.

that being said, very soon after my crohn's diagnosis, i was diagnosed with something called hidradenitis suppurativa, which is basically just a bunch of lumps and tunnels in the skin... and they can pop up anywhere. the armpits, the sweat glands, the underboobs, the 🐱 area... yeah, anywhere. and i was blessed with the ones in ✨️the land down under✨️

so, i've had all these lumps and tunnels for over seven years. some of them have calmed down, some have popped up in new places (my armpits are now involved but that's a different story for a different day), and some of them unfortunately turned into fistulas. according to Google (just bc it's kinda hard for me to describe on my own), a fistula is basically a connection/tunnel through an organ to either another organ or the skin.

i have two fistulas, one from my 🐱 area to the rectum (i think, everything's been such a haze, i'm having trouble remembering how all this works), and then one from the skin to the ah noos (pls lmk if i need to explain this joke or if you get it 💀).

all that being said, i had to have something called a seton placed in both of these fistulas. a seton (i've been told) is sort of like a really thin rubber band that goes throughout the fistula like a tube to keep it open and draining, in hopes of drying up everything in the fistula to hopefully close it off in the future.

some setons are placed there for weeks to months. however, my surgeon has told me that because of how advanced my fistulas are (because one of them has been there for a couple years and we didn't have the money because medical expenses are awful in america), it may take longer than that for mine to heal. his hopes (yes... i had a grown man stick his fingers in my unmentionables 🥲) are that this is not the case, but he did warn me just in case that does happen.

the good news is that i've FINALLY!!! found a new gastroenterologist (the dudes that check up on the crohn's related stuff) after moving out of peds (the kiddo docs) over a year ago. i've met this doc twice and i already love him. he's so kind and so attentive and extremely smart, just an all around great doctor. anyway, he is extremely knowledgeable about my situation and fistula care and all that jazz so i have lots of hope that he will be able to help me through this, as well as my surgeon. my surgeon is also an amazing guy and is extremely good at his job as well.

now, to make a long story short. i had to have emergency surgery because fistulas are awful in the first place and mine are apparently even worse.

again, thank you so very much for checking in! if any of you guys have any other questions, feel free to send me an ask or a DM! i would love to help out as much as i can!

also! my wonderful friend @reidsbookclub (who is a medical student btw!!) has said that she could answer anyone's questions that i could not answer, if you guys have any questions about this procedure medical-wise that she might have more knowledge on. thank you so much, grecy! 💛

lastly, i would like to thank you again, rups for checking in on me! i honestly was just using this as a way to rant, i was never expecting anyone to see it on their tl or even read it because there's been a lot of lengthy, annoying posts about it at this point 🤣

so thank you for checking up and seeing if i was ok! i think i will be with time ❤️