#my dms are open but i may take a business week to answer

[runcriedthecrawlingif]

Im super excited to see what happens next in this if. I also love the paintings you're choosing for each chapter! I was curious if you knew the art history behind these paintings, I took an art history course about the depictions of animals in art and we discussed similar-if not the same-paintings in the class and the themes are so similar to ur if! I'm totally down to send a message abt it but I figured I'd give you some forewarning beforehand lol. Good luck with your writing!!

I would love to learn more about them! I've read a short essay by John Berger on the depiction of animals in art but I definitely need a refresher.

The paintings are all by Otto Marseus Van Schrieck and most of them come from his "Forest Ground" series (which felt very appropriate for the story.)

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Unraveled 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: A curious man wanders into your dress shop with a lot of questions.

Characters: Sherlock Holmes (Cavill)

Note: I hope you all enjoy this random idea.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

One hand guides the fabric as the other turns the wheel. Your work is slow but steady, every stitch perfect, every seam precise. Your fare may be modest and your product simple, but its quality cannot be contested. Your labour as yourself is honest and plain.

The noise of the machine is your only company. The one-room shop nestled behind the butcher’s rarely sees a customer through its door. Instead, the orders are sent from the factories, returned with the printed adverts you disperse outside their doors. The writs are sent along with an envelope of pence and shilling and you complete each with equal diligence before sending them back bundled in paper and twine.

The operation isn’t especially fruitful but the profit is enough to subsist. Enough to guarantee your independence; a small apartment just above and a pot of stew to last you through each week. This humble existence is preferable to any marriage you’ve witnessed. 

The letters from your sisters reaffirm your spinster’s fate. You’d rather a hand wheel and a needle than a brood and broken back. A husband seems to provide several jobs at once, you’ll happily settle for one.

As your hands work from memory and your head wanders from tedium, the bell above the door gives a single sharp toll. You ease the wheel to a halt and leave the seam unfinished. You peer up above the black iron machine, reminding yourself to fix your hunch as a client enters. You can’t but wonder if he may have come to the wrong shop.

By his attire, he is a class above the factory women who require gray skirts and simple stays. His waistcoat is embroidered and his jacket is pressed and clean. He is tall, locks part tidily so his curls lay gracefully. His face is fresh-shaven, square jaw with a cleft, and shoulders broad and strong. He does not share the same sinewy gauntness as the labourers with the coal-dusted noses.

He carries a fine leather bag. Another clue to his status. His shoes, another. Polished and without creases.

You stand to greet him, “good afternoon, sir. Might I help you with something?”

His answer is not prompt. He takes in the finished dresses hung by the east wall and turns to examine the rolls of wool and cotton. At last, he returns his attention to you.

“Afternoon,” his deep timbre fills the small space, “you are the dressmaker.”

It isn’t a question, but you answer, “I am.”

He narrows his eyes as he approaches your desk, the sole fixture in the space. From without, the shop is just as bare. The blackened windows offer not insight into the business, its only suggestion the sign hung above the door, though the paint requires a fresh coat.

“And the shop owner?”

“That is me as well, sir,” you assert. The presumption is not uncommon.

“Ah,” he accepts your explanation without comment, “so, you will have sewn this.”

He puts his bag on the desk, nearly knocking your shears from the corner. You try not to flinch as they teeter near the edge and he pulls open the top of the leather bag. He pulls out a swath of grey. You recognise it and he rolls the cuff to show your initials sewn within.

“Sir,” you say precariously, “is there some issue with it? Is it your wife’s dress?”

“Wife? No, no,” he dismisses, feeling the fabric between his fingers, “rather I am in search of the dress’s owner. The initial must belong to them, yes? So you would have a name for the buyer.”

“Mm, no, those are mine,” you point at the letters, “as it is my handiwork.”

“That makes sense,” he frowns in disappointment. “So you wouldn’t know who would wear it?”

You rub your chapped lips together. You find your tongue sliding over them often when you work, turning them raw with the habit. The man’s lips are rosy and smooth, as well-kempt as the rest of him. He is no factory worker’s husband.

“I might… would you take it out?” You ask.

He obliges as you pluck up the metal cylinder from your desk and unfurl the tape measure from within. He shakes out the dress, holding it by the shoulders to reveal salt stains along the skirts and unleashing a dingy smell in the shop. You wiggle your nose at the stench but worse roils in from the butcher’s on hot days.

You take the measure of the sleeves and the waist, then to the hem. You scribble the numbers on a scrap and take that to compare with your ledger. The measurements are in now way defining but might narrow it down. He keeps the dress aloft and you return to him to check the thread along the seams. A few months ago, you changed the thickness as the factory workers complained of splits under the arms.

“Hm, it is a recent purchase,” you assure him and return to the ledge. 

He lowers the dress and approaches. You snap the book closed and turn your face up to consider him once more, “why do you need to know, if it is not your wife?”

“You are very discerning,” he remarks as he folds the dress and drapes it over his bag, “I’m certain then you can surmise the woman who wore this dress did not meet a kind fate.” He tugs up the hem and shows a tear trimmed in scarlet, the colour not obvious from a distance. “Holmes, Sherlock Holmes. I’m a detective and I’m trying to identify a poor woman found not far from here. I believe it is in your own interest that I discover her assailant.”

“I cannot say for certain which she is,” you turn over the scrap and re-open the ledger. You write down three names which match the measurements and hold the paper out to him. He takes it, his thick fingertips brushing yours. “Those are the ones which align with the dress.”

“Mm,” he hums as he tucks the paper into his chest pocket, “and your name? I couldn’t make it out on the sign.”

You recite your name flatly, “it isn’t on the sign.”

“It requires new paint,” he admonishes, “I could hardly find you.”

“I am aware,” you reply. “Thank you for noting.”

He’s quiet, “being a detective, however, I did indeed put together the clues.”

Is he making a joke? You cannot tell. He folds up the dress completely and puts it back in the leather bag. The smell persists.

“What are you prices?” He asks abruptly.

“Sir, I sew dresses for factory women, sometimes a few communion pieces, but I’m afraid I don’t do much suit work.”

“My sister requires a dress,” he sniffs, “as simple as it is, I can see your work is fine.”

“I have only wools and cottons,” you counter.

“Do you always turn away business?” He challenges.

“I wasn’t, sir, I’m only clarifying what I currently do. My prices are set for those fabrics,” you explain.

“I will pay for the muslin and velvet,” he waves his hand staunchly, “you will be paid for your labour. Can you sew with more than wool and cotton?”

“I can, sir, but you could find a ready-made dress in a market boutique if the dress is required promptly.”

“I can afford the time and coin,” he insists. “You are not a talented advertiser, are you?”

You’re taken aback by his bluntness. Often, his ilk have that demeanour. It’s why you’d rather the factory workers and the fish sellers’ wives.

“I suppose not,” you agree, “I would need measurements before I begin. You may send the numbers along with the fabric, then. And I would require a style. Perhaps your sister is a purveyor of fashion magazines?”

“I will send a messenger,” he shrugs. “Thank you for your time. I shan't get in your way any longer.”

“Good day, sir.”

“Good day to you,” he takes the bag from your desk and the shears fall to the floor with a clatter.

You skirt around to grab them as he bends and swipes them up first. You recoil as he closes the blades with a snap. He examines them before placing them back on the desk.

“Apologies,” he says, “and miss,” he looks at you, “take to heart what I’ve told you today. Keep away from the allies and perhaps you may consider locking your door.”

“Thank you, sir, your concern is appreciated.”

“Rather you might just keep those close, eh,” he points to the shears and his cheek dimples.

Again, you can’t be certain of his humour. You keep a placid expression, neither smiling nor scowling. He clears his throat and runs his hand down his jacket, gripping the lapel.

“Very well then, I’ll be off.”

He turns on his heel and marches to the door. You stay by the desk as the bell rings with his departure. Once the door closes, you cross the shop. You turn the lock into place, his foreboding lingering with the stale scent of dirty water.

🪡

Despite the unusual visit, your days roll on like a hand on a clock. The thought of the woman’s tragic fate looms like a shadow but fades. You have too much stitching to do to fret over that man and his ominous words. You assume his interest in your work thereafter was wholly feigned as he does not return.

That day, you pass off six parcels to Eustace, the driver who takes them down to the stacks to hand off to the floor bosses who will parse them out to the women they’ve been cut for. You pay him his toll before he climbs back into the seat of his cart, his horse kicking impatiently.

“Excuse me, sir,” another driver clops up along the other side of the street, a narrow squeeze between the slanting buildings. “I’m in search of a dressmaker. I believe the store is tucked behind the butcher’s and…” the man’s voice drifts off as his eyes flit to the meat sellers marquee.

“Right here, good sir,” Eustace responds, “wouldn’t ya know, she’s right here.”

You lift your chin to see past the cart and spy the driver. He removes his cap as his gaze meets yours. Eustache dips his chin as he adjusts his own hat and snaps his old mare into a canter. As you're left alone with the carriage driver, a vehicle rather lofty for a block like this, you fold your hands behind you.

“Sir, you hardly look in need of a work woman’s dress,” you say.

“Miss,” he ties the reins off and jumps down from his seat, “I am sent for you, not a dress.”

“For me?” You echo.

“Mr. Holmes has sent,” he crosses the muck and nearly slips. “He said he made an appointment for a seamstress.”

“An appointment? I wasn’t informed of the time,” you rebuff. “I’ve a shop to run, orders paid for. I can’t simply leave.”

“Ah, yes, Mr. Holmes made mention of a fee,” the man feels around his striped coat, “he said a deposit would be needed.”

He takes out a brown envelope and hands it over. You take it, a small weight within. You look at the driver before you pull back the flap and peek inside. A large gold sovereign sits in the corner of the paper; a whole pound. That’s at least three days work.

You hold your breath, trying to maintain some composure. If that’s the deposit, what is he offering for the rest? You slip out the folded paper within, a page torn from a fashion journal. The dress is elegant if not extravagant. You don’t often do off-the-shoulder or ruffles like that but it isn’t beyond your skill.

You fold the flap closed again and lift your chin to face the driver, “I must lock up, you see?”

“Take your time, miss,” he says kindly. “Mr. Holmes isn’t expecting you to hurry.”

“Thank you, sir,” you bow your head and turn away.

You measure your steps along the facade of the butcher’s shop and curl around to the alleyway. You let yourself into your shop and tuck the envelope into your apron pocket. You take your sewing bag from under the desk and shake off the dust. You don’t often have reason to use it.

You open it up and pack away your shears, a measuring tape, pins with a cushion, your notebook, and a few other bits and bobs. Just in case. You grab a role of linen from against the wall. It’s heavy but you can manage.

You take the key from your desk drawer and switch off the overhead light. You lock the door and continue back out to the street. The driver puffs smoke from a pipe as he waits.

“Miss, allow me,” he snuffs out the pipe and puts it in his pocket. He nears and reaches for the roll of linen.

“It’s quite alright, sir,” you say.

“I insist, miss, can’t have a lady doing all that,” he takes it, not forcefully, and you let him.

As he goes to the carriage and opens the door, you give pause. You don’t know if you should be so easily swayed on a gold coin. Mr. Holmes hadn’t been entirely pleasant and you do prefer your simple work. Still, you can hardly turn your nose up at a pound. Not with the summer fizzling to a finale.

You lift your skirts and cross the street to the open carriage, “sir, might I have a name?”

“Gavin,” he answers, “and I have yours. Mr. Holmes made sure of it.”

“Yes, very good,” you say as you approach, another sliver of doubt trickling through. Mr. Holmes claimed to be a detective but is that really the reason he was strolling around with a dead woman’s dress? You gulp and look at Gavin then the carriage, “might I keep the window open?”

“Surely you can,” he agrees amiably. “Mr. Holmes lives quite a ways, shouldn’t mind the air. I’ll be certain to stay away from the stacks.”

“Thank you, sir,” you accept his proffered hand and he helps you up into the carriage. 

You settle on the bench as the door shuts and you open the window from within. You lean back, your hand grasping the top of your bag. You unclasp it as you feel Gavin climb up on the driver’s seat. You dip your hand inside and clutch your long shears.

You don’t forget all of what Mr. Holmes said.

[yandereworlds]

「 INDEX + INTRODUCTION 」

˚₊‧🔪WELCOME TO MY YANDERE BLOG! I mainly make content for my own original characters and occasionally, fandom related stuff. This blog is strictly 16+ and run by two people.

My name is Kiki (She/Her) and I am 18+. I’m the one that mainly provides the art and bots that you’ll find throughout this blog and sometimes, I write headcanons/imagines as well. My writer is Rose (She/Her, 18+) and she’s responsible for writing the fanfictions and some of the drabbles. To make it easy for you to know who's behind each post, you'll see either 'Mun Kiki', 'Mun Rose', or both credited in the tags.

We started this blog because we had numerous ideas for yandere characters. Given my background as an artist and Rose's talent as a writer, it seemed like a natural fit. I'm primarily creating this post to serve as a guide for navigating the blog. I've received numerous asks about accessing the characters' backgrounds, information, as well as questions regarding my bots, projects, commissions, socials, and other related topics. You can use this post as a reference FAQ or as a comprehensive guide to streamline your experience on the blog. 

Find that you enjoy our work? Consider leaving a tip, it’s greatly appreciated and helps the blog. Also, if you’d like to be able to be more involved with our creative process and engage with the community, you can join our Discord server here. 

╰┈➤ ASK RULES - OPEN!

✦ Absolutely no NSFW asks. This blog is 16+ for a reason, so obviously, we will be trashing asks related to sexual topics. 

✦ We’re allowed not to answer certain asks. If you’ve been spamming the same ask and we haven’t responded to it for months, it’s most likely because we aren't comfortable doing so OR we’ve already answered an ask similar to yours.

✦ We will not be answering any asks regarding self-harm, eating disorders, extreme gore, noncon or any topics that could be associated with them. 

✦ Finally, we kindly request your patience. We understand that it may take some time to address each individual ask, as we both have busy lives and there may be periods when we don't post asks for weeks. Please refrain from rushing us, and rest assured, we will eventually get to your ask. 

╰┈➤ YANDERE MASTERLISTS 

Original Yandere Masterlist

Fandom Yandere Masterlist

╰┈➤ CHARACTER AI + JANITOR AI

If you've been following this account for some time, you're likely aware that I frequently share my character bots here. I've received numerous asks about which bots are available and where to find them online. While I plan to compile a list of my bots soon, for now, I'll provide links to both of my accounts for future reference.

It's worth noting that I'm currently on a temporary hiatus from Character AI due to site complications. Consequently, most of my recent bots can be found on Janitor AI, where I'm more active. Before visiting either site, please be aware that Janitor AI is intended for users aged 18 and above, whereas Character AI caters to a younger audience. In other words, minors stay off JanitorAI!

My Character AI profile - 1, 2, 3, 4

My Janitor AI profile (18+) - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Wish to request a bot from me? You can find the information here.

╰┈➤ ART COMMISSION INFO - OPEN

Pretty self explanatory. If you're interested in commissioning artwork from me, simply click the link to access my commission page. Currently, I'm accepting payments through both PayPal and Cashapp. Below is a brief FAQ regarding my commissions. Should you have any further questions, don't hesitate to contact me!

Can you draw my OC with your characters?

✦ Yes, absolutely! Just provide me a reference and what you'd like specifically. We can discuss all the details in DM's.

Can you draw a character from 'this fandom' for me?

✦ I'm completely fine with drawing fandom related content. The only fandoms I will not draw under any circumstance is youtubers, Your Boyfriend, Country Humans, BTD and Killing Stalking. Otherwise, I'm open to whatever.

Can you draw a comic for me?

✦ Yes, but only short comics. You can let me know what you'd like the short comic to be about and all that fun stuff. Just know comics from me will likely be around $20-$40+ dollars depending how detailed and complex you'd like it to be.

[juletheghoul]

A/N; I’ve decided to try and post a bit more consistently. The plan, for now, is to post twice a week—a series chapter update, as well as one of the standalone pieces I have in the works. My confidence lately has been the pits, but I’m not going to let it ruin my life, or my desire to write. This is fun, and I still want to share the things that I create. If you’re still here and reading, thank you, hope you enjoy 💜 (p.s., I know the picture I used isn't Max, but that's how I see this version of him. A little younger, a little leaner-hungrier) (p.p.s, right now there is no plan for a sequel, but I never say never. Asks are always open, and so are the dms)

Pairing: Max Phillips x F!Reader

Word Count: 8.2K

Warnings: (18+ NO MINORS) mentions of loneliness, and alcoholism, language, He's a vampire (went with classic vampire lore for this one, needs a coffin, no sunlight), piv sex (wrap it up!), vaginal fingering, violence, talk of death, blood and some non-graphic gore, period piece

Let me know if I missed anything!

reblogs are appreciated

Masterlist

It starts with a prickle to the back of your neck, the hairs there standing on end, a shiver running along your spine. 

The main thoroughfare is busy as you make your way home, the lamplights illuminating the steps of your usual path. It's different tonight though, despite knowing the area like the back of your hand and recognizing more than a few faces as they pass, there is a tinge of something threaded through it all. 

You find yourself scanning every shadowy corner, peering through the windows on the businesses you pass, hoping to spot whatever it is that has your blood pounding loudly in your ears. 

Do I want to know? 

You catch yourself from stumbling at the thought, your imagination conjuring images of a dark, evil figure lurking in the shadows, waiting to strike. You shake it off, scolding yourself for letting the fear get the better of you. 

Your home is visible now, just at the top of the hill and the relief is mounting, counting down the steps until you can tuck yourself safely inside, and lock the world out. 

“Excuse me, Miss.” His voice is low and pleasant, but it sends you a good few inches into the air from the fright. “My deepest apologies, I did not mean to scare you.” Your heart is pounding, your hand pressed up against your chest in some unconscious attempt to steady it. You let out a slow breath before answering, laughing shakily as you gather your thoughts. 

“Oh my, forgive me-” You let out another loud sigh, “You gave me such a fright.” You smile up at him out of habit, taking in his handsome face and worried expression. 

“No no, please–accept my sincerest apology.” He bows slightly, his head low in deference and you wave it away. “I saw you from across the street, and I thought, I simply must introduce myself.” He smiles now, and it’s a little jarring, his teeth are perfectly straight and bright white. “I’m Max.” He holds his hand out and you take it without thought, watch him almost in a trance as he brings it up to press it to his lips. The kiss is cool, and it brings curiously vulgar thoughts to the forefront of your mind. He tilts his head, expectant. 

“Oh! Sorry yes, It’s nice to meet you Max-” You cannot help but watch his mouth as you introduce yourself. “I’ve not seen you in town before.” You leave it there and his smile widens, his eyes scanning all around taking in your surroundings. You don’t fail to notice the expensive cut of his suit, the fabric rich, decadent.

“I’m new in town you see, just arrived this morning.” He towers over you, broad of shoulder, slim through the hip. “I see you are unaccompanied, which shocks me.” He offers his arm and again, and you move to take it without much thought. “May I walk you home?” 

“Yes, of course.” You agree, and begin to lead the way, ignoring every warning young women seem to learn practically at the breast, calmly walking with him up the street towards your home. “Where did you come from?” Your attention turns to the feel of his arm in yours, solid and strong underneath his layers. 

“Oh, I come from all over, I'm somewhat of a roamer.” His smile is roguish and you get the impression he might be remembering another young lady on another street, in an altogether different part of the world. “How long has this been your home?” He guides you gently as you make your way up the hill. 

“I have lived here all my life.” 

“Do you like it here?” He doesn’t ask it unkindly, there’s a genuine curiosity there. 

“I like it fine enough, but I have always wanted to see other parts of the world. It's difficult though.” You sigh, he frowns in the corner of your eye. 

“How so?” 

“Well, it is difficult to travel unaccompanied–it also requires funds I currently do not possess.” You laugh a bit awkwardly, surprised with your own candor. 

“Oh-” He seemed taken aback for a moment and you had to fight the urge to roll your eyes, men usually don’t pay much attention to the struggles of women. “-yes of course. How ignorant of me.” He was frowning at his feet. 

“This is me.” You pulled him away from his thoughts, gesturing to your house. 

“This is lovely, you and your family must be very happy here.” He smiled warmly, guiding you up the steps to the large wrap around porch. 

“Yes well, we make do.” Your tight lipped smile wasn’t getting past him, his hand held yours for a moment, pulling your attention from your door to him.

“I don’t mean to overstep–are you well?” He held your hand in both of his now, a worried expression plastered on his handsome face. 

“Yes-I, I’m sorry, yes. I’m fine-” He watched you intently, studying and suddenly the words were spilling from your lips, unbidden. “-I’m just alone most of the time, my father works, or drinks, and my mother disappears to avoid the melancholy. My sister is wed and living her marital bliss across the city and I am sort of left to keep everything together.” The thoughts were always present, hiding in your throat, in the pit of your stomach, in the clenching of your jaw when the house was continuously empty. It was a welcome respite to be able to let go of them, for a moment at least. 

He hummed his acknowledgement, the worried frown in place. 

“That is unfortunate.” He was choosing his words carefully. “If you are partial, I would very much like to spend more time with you.” He kissed the back of your hand once more and a momentary madness took hold of you. 

“Would you like to come in?” His eyebrows raised and you hurried to clarify, “I could make you a cup of tea, maybe you could tell me about your travels?” He nodded graciously and a slow creeping smile overtook the frown as he walked up the stairs towards your now open door. His eyes flashed with something but it was gone just as quickly–no sign of danger as he crossed the threshold. 

“You’re too kind, I would love to.” You closed the door behind him. 

He seemed bigger once inside, somehow broader than before. His eyes were bright within the dim foyer, the honey brown of them alert and lively and lovely. You led him towards the sitting room with a shy smile, the thrill of having a gentleman caller in your home without a chaperone sending your heart a flutter. 

Maybe I’m too trusting.

The thought crossed your mind, taking up space until his smile shooed it away once more. 

“How do you take your tea? Or would you maybe prefer something stronger? I think there’s some brandy hidden away for visitors.” Your hands felt numb, the nerves of being alone with him catching up to you. 

“What would you prefer?” He made himself comfortable on the settee, and you noticed his choice with interest. 

“Well, the brandy is rather nice.”

“Brandy it is. Can I help with anything?” He made to get up and you hurriedly put your hands up to stall him. 

“Nonsense, one moment.” You walked away quickly, ignoring the pounding of your heart and soon you were standing in front of him once more, brandy glasses in hand. He took one from you graciously and once you were seated beside him, you took a generous gulp, wincing slightly at the burning in your throat. He swirled the drink in hand, bringing it to his nose, taking in the aroma and for a moment you felt like your father, just knocking it without savoring. 

“It smells wonderful-” He brought the glass to his lips and you did your best to pace yourself. 

“So, tell me about yourself.” You put the glass down and waited, enjoying the feeling of warmth spreading throughout your limbs already. 

“Oh no, I’d rather hear about you.” He placed his glass next to yours, leaning back with open arms facing you. “I’m very curious as to how no one has snatched you up just yet.” He said it with a friendly smile. “You must be of age to marry?” 

“Yes, I am no more wise than you are on the subject.” You reached for the glass once more, needing something in which to focus the nervous energy in your hands, which led you to take another obscene gulp. Half your glass already gone, what would he think of you?

“Have you had many would-be callers? I would have thought your father would be fighting them off with a bat.” He picked up his glass, swirling it as he spoke. 

“Not really, there was a young man who came calling, but he was indifferent as to which sister would take him, so he left empty-handed.” Your nerves calmed with the third gulp, so did the burning and now there was a pleasant, full body buzz flowing through your veins. 

“Well. The men here must be blind.” His eyes flashed again, something vulgar and exciting all at the same time. He put his glass back down, moving so he was sitting a little closer. “Your father would have trouble keeping me away.” He took the now empty glass from your hand and set it next to his rather full one. 

“Why’s that?” You watched him with baited breath. 

“Well, because I would be ruthless in my pursuit.” He moved closer still. “Would woo you tirelessly.” His hand came up, his thumb resting softly on the plush of your bottom lip. You sucked in a breath, acutely aware of the hot spike of arousal in your belly. 

“And–and if I were to deny you?” your voice was curiously breathless, such was the effect he had on you.

“Would you?” He moved closer, his eyes fixed on where his thumb rested on your lip, “Would you deny me?” He was so close, the tip of his aquiline nose nuzzling softly against your own. His lips so close it would only take a nudge to kiss him.

“No-” You knew you wouldn’t, this enigmatic man who’d appeared out of thin air, appeared out of some long forgotten dream, or perhaps a prayer. “I would not.” 

“May I kiss you?” He nudged your nose with his once more, the clean scent of him engulfing your senses. 

“Please-” You didn’t get the chance to finish the word before his lips pressed against yours with an ardor that burned through your whole body. His fingers curled around the nape of your neck, caressing the sensitive skin there while his tongue sought entrance to dance with yours. He pulled a whimper from somewhere in your throat before he pulled away, kissing your cheek, and then again, just below your ear.

You’d been kissed before, but never like this. 

He smiled, his gaze roving over your face greedily, no doubt taking in the lust blown expression shining back at him. 

You gulped. 

“I would decidedly not deny you Sir.” You let out a shaky laugh, feeling as the excitement and arousal flowed through you. Dampening your undergarments, hardening your nipples. 

“I thought not.” His thumb came up to brush against your lip once more, his eyes focused on your face so intently, it felt as though everything else had disappeared. 

“Take me to bed.” The words spilled out of your mouth unbidden, shocking even you and your stomach sank well into the floor when his eyebrows raised. “I-I’m sorry to be so vulgar-”

“Do not apologize to me, there is no sin in desire.” He stood, holding his hand out for you to stand before him. “There is no vulgarity in pleasure between two people, so long as both are willing.” He pressed a kiss to your knuckles, moving to your mouth once more to take the remaining coherent thoughts right out of your head. 

-

Up until today, your life had been, for the most part, predictable. There had been a basic formula to how your hours were spent, where you’d go, what you’d see, even who’d you speak to. You’d thought about it that very morning, the errands you’d have to run-what you’d wear. Whether you’d see your father intoxicated or not. 

Seeing a beautiful, naked man was not on the list of possibilities. For that gorgeous, naked man to have you practically mewling underneath him would never have crossed your mind, at least not that early in the day. 

The bed creaked with every thrust of his hips between your legs, his cock hard and heavy inside the wet clutch of your cunt. 

“Does that feel good?” He huffed out a laugh, his white teeth flashing as he moved a little harder. It was hard to articulate exactly how good it felt and he took your quiet moans as a challenge. “More? Is that what you want my darling?” his elbows came up to rest beside your ears, bracketing your head before he snapped his hips faster, smiling at the way your mouth opened in a silent scream. “There it is, that’s what you like huh?” His voice should have been breathless with the amount of exertion he was exhibiting–but every thrust knocked any coherent thought right out of your head. He shifted to one side, reaching down to slide his fingers around the pearl of your pleasure, thrusting you headlong into your climax. He slowed down, grinding slowly while you crested, no doubt making a mess of the sheets underneath you. 

“I could stay here for days.” He punctuated his words with a delicious swirl of his hips, burying his face into the crook of your neck while you caught your breath, your hands finding their way into his hair. 

“If it’s to be like this every single time–I’m inclined to let you.” You pulled his face up to kiss, needing to taste his mouth again. 

“Oh it definitely would.” He bit his lip, watching you as he spoke. 

“You’d ruin me for all others.” You ran your nails down the muscles of his back, feeling how they corded and bunched with each movement, the coolness of him perfectly complementing your almost feverish warmth. 

“I plan on it, plan on spoiling you rotten.” He kissed you quickly before pulling away and for a moment you thought he might spill his seed on your belly, but he made to move you.

“I would ask you–” Your tone made him pause, a frown on his face. “Beg of you, not to spill inside, I don’t wish to have any children.” It might have ruined the mood of the night, but a child would have ruined your entire life. His features relaxed, a soft smile blooming on his handsome face. 

“I cannot make children, I am sterile.” He pulled you up from your place, both of you kneeling on your bed, his tone sincere. “And even if I could, do you think I would just abandon you?” His hands caressed your back, moving down to hold onto your backside. It was so lovely to have intimacy like this, the loneliness of your days highlighted now in the comfort of his touch. 

“Well, to be quite honest I’m not sure what you’d do. I’ve only just met you–” You sighed, his mouth kissing a trail from your shoulder up to the sensitive skin of your neck, “-you should know, I don’t usually do this. I’m not in the habit of taking men into my bed so quickly.” Your fingers curled in the short locks of his hair. 

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me, pretty.” His lips were still pleasantly cool, all of him was. “I just want to make you feel good.” His hands came up to cradle your jaw before he licked into your mouth, giving you the kind of kiss you’ve only dreamt about in the dark quiet hours. “Now turn around, I want to take you from behind.” he bit your lip, a tiny little nip that had you dripping and you turned to obey. 

His big palm pressed against your spine, pushing your top half down into the mattress before he grabbed your hips, pulling you to him a little rougher than you expected. It made you gasp and within a moment he sheathed himself in your tight heat. A hard thrust that knocked the air out of your lungs. 

“Your wet little cunt is dripping around me-” He sounded as wrecked as you felt, his words fueling the fire of your arousal, “-come up here.” He pulled you up, his arm wrapped around your middle to press you up against the solid wall of his chest, his chin instantly settling on your shoulder, lips pressed against your ear as he set a brutal pace. He sang the song of his pleasure directly into your ear, it flowed all around you, combining with the wet obscene sounds of your joining to push you further and further into a bigger, more intense climax. 

One of his hands moved down, slipping between the lips of your sex to pull you apart, the other sliding up to palm your breast. With a few perfect circles you screamed, digging your fingers into his arm as you clenched around him.

There was a sting. 

A sudden sharp pain at your neck that pulled you out of the haze of pleasure for a moment before it was replaced with something otherworldly. A direct current flowing through your fingers and toes, through your nipples, through the gates of heaven between your legs. 

It was enough to make you lightheaded. 

You blinked, finding yourself laying back on your bed with Max standing near the door, fixing his overcoat. 

How did you get dressed so fast? Why am I so exhausted?

You tried to call out to him, surprised to find your limbs heavy, your eyes fluttering closed. 

“Sleep now, my love.” You heard him speak, his voice sounding so far away. “Sleep, I will see you soon.” A cool, feather light kiss was pressed to your brow before the world went dark. 

-

Whether it was the sunlight streaming in through the lace curtains, or the nightmare, or possibly a combination of both that pulled you out from the depths of sleep, you’d never truly know.  A vision of something hunting, something tearing at flesh, a bone crushing bite flitting through your mind in those first few seconds upon waking making you shudder and turn towards the darker side of the room, avoiding the glaring light in your eyes.

What a horrible dream—wait, what happened again?

It had just been there but now it felt like mist, dissipating far too quickly for you to grab a hold of. 

It was gone.

A knock at your door had any remaining musings about it evaporating into nothing. 

“Yes? Come in-“ You croaked out the words before clearing your throat. 

Your mother waltzed in, already dressed for the day making you frown. She was fussing at her skirts, unbothered—or uncaring that you were still in bed, instead she spoke about a trip she and your father were taking, how the house would be your responsibility for the next few days and that she would see you when she got back. She didn’t wait to hear your thoughts or concerns, or to even ask if you were feeling well, she was gone as quickly as she’d appeared. Leaving you still in bed, studying the time on your pocket watch with confusion. 

Something seemed off, a long stretch highlighted the pleasant soreness between your thighs and then his face popped into the forefront of your thoughts. How could you have forgotten? 

The events of the night before were crystal clear, to a point. You’d been walking home, he’d introduced himself and things had gone well. You’d invited him back to your home—to your bed. Everything was replaying as though you were reliving the night itself, up until he’d pulled that second climax out of you, after that, things were blurred. 

No.

Not just blurred, not just hazy. That would imply there were memories to fog up, this was something else, something aggravating. 

You let out a frustrated groan, tossing in your bed to bury your face into your pillows. 

I wonder where he is now, wonder if I’ll ever see him again.

The jaded, realistic part of your brain said don’t count on it, and after all, why would he care to come back? You’d opened up your doors and your legs, gave him everything you had to offer and he’d left without so much as a fare thee well. At least, not one that you could remember.

Face the facts, you gave it up, and now he’s gone.

-

You were out of breath and not for the first time since waking that morning. Your heart raced as you stopped just outside the general store, needing a moment before starting your usual trek up the hill. The night was blessedly cool, a gentle breeze ruffling the sleeves and collar of your dress and it was only while you were distracted that he found you once more.

“Hello my sweet, I hoped to find you out and about, and so I have.” He smiled his bright white smile, reaching out to bring your hand to his mouth. 

“Max-“ you frowned at him, unable to hide the shock of actually seeing him again. “I—hello, I’m sorry I-“ you floundered, unsure what to say. He seemed taken aback by your response.

“My apologies, did you not wish to see me again?”

“No! It’s not that, no I’m very glad I just—well to be perfectly blunt I didn’t actually think I would.” You blurted the words out, throwing caution to the wind. He brought that out in you it seemed.

“Oh-“ his eyebrows raised into his hairline. “I see. You thought I’d seduced you and then left you to pursue other conquests.” His tone was light, but there was a hurt in it and it made you feel guilty.

“Forgive me, I misjudged you. I am very happy to see you again.” You gave him your biggest smile and he returned it, forgiven.

“No need.” He kissed your hand once more, pulling you to hold onto his arm. “May I accompany you home?” He gestured towards the hill.

“Yes, that would be very helpful, I am feeling a bit lightheaded today I’m afraid.” You laughed, lighthearted but he didn’t join.

“Are you well?” He matched your pace, pulling you slowly towards the house.

“Oh yes, nothing to worry about. Must have been that brandy yesterday. Doesn’t tend to agree with me.” You patted his arm and he dropped the subject.

“Aside from the brandy, how has your day been?” He smiled warmly, his stride slowing down to match yours.

“Well enough.” You sighed, “My mother and father have gone away for a few days, so I have been alone.” You tried to keep your voice neutral but his expression told you he wasn’t buying it. “It is the way things are.”

“Do they not worry about you?” His eyebrows were drawn together in confusion. “Do they not care?”

“I’d rather not know the answer to those questions.” You left the rest unsaid, he didn’t press the issue. “Let’s speak of happier things. How have you been settling in? Are you close by?”

“Yes, just down the lane, a street over. My house is nicely settled but my days are too busy to go out and meet my neighbours. Thankfully I’ve met you though.”

“It isn’t a very big place, there are people no doubt dying to meet you.” You thought about the debutants, the rich single ones who would have taken one look at Max, and gobbled him up. 

“Anyone in particular I should avoid?” He said it conspiratorially, leaning into you and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“No one too villainous.” You patted his arm as you reached the little walkway outside your house. “Come in, sit with me a while.”

“Of course, I’d love to, I need to hear all the local gossip.” 

-

You’d really only meant to invite him in for conversation this time. To have him sit with you in the dim light of your sitting room, listening to him speak about any and everything but somehow- you’d found yourself underneath him once more. 

Your face was pressed against your pillows, your hands like talons, gripping onto your sheets while he straddled your thighs. His hands were holding the globes of your backside open while his cock speared into you again and again. 

He kept your legs closed making his sex feel so much bigger, made it feel like he was splitting you open in the best way. 

You panted into the fabric, dampening it with your breath as he fucked into you—moving your body a fraction with every thrust, the friction of it against your nipples made you ache with arousal. 

“You’re so wet for me my sweet, so tight around my cock.” He spread you open lewdly and you knew he was staring at the place you were joined, no doubt watching himself disappear into your body. “You’re going to milk me dry—reach down and touch yourself, I want you to come before I do.“ he sped up, groaning when you clenched around him. 

You swallowed thickly as you reached down to obey him, shocked at how much arousal he's pulled out of you, feeling the soaked-through patch of the sheet on the back of your hand. 

It only takes a moment, your fingers slipping through your folds with a well practiced swirl and your body tightens up, the coil winding tighter and tighter and you feel him press his chest to your back, his breath in your ear and when the pleasure finally bursts like a firework—a sting.

Euphoria—a wet gush somewhere below you and a pained moan from you, or him, maybe both of you, it’s hard to tell.

You blink.

Or, you try to blink. 

Your eyelids are so heavy, it’s hard to open them but you finally do. Light is streaming in through the window, that cannot be?

Your brain feels slow, like molasses on a cold day, your limbs are so heavy and it takes what feels like hours before you can lift your arm to check the time. 

It is well past noon, and it doesn’t make sense. 

There’s a note on the table where your watch is and you stare at it for a moment, trying with all your might to read the words;

It was lovely to see you again my darling, I had a wonderful time. If you’re partial I would love to call on you again. I hope you slept well, you looked so peaceful when I left. See you soon.  Max

You put the note down and focused on gathering your strength, ignoring the ache in your body, and the fear in your gut.

-

You moved at a glacial pace, both physically and mentally and you ignored the deep-rooted fear in your belly, that you’d caught the coughing sickness. 

Does it start like this? Will I feel weaker and weaker until I cannot move? When does the coughing start? 

You shuddered and shook your head, afraid of the loops your mind was jumping through, trying with all your might to focus on the tasks at hand. Your room needed to be tidied, the linens on your bed had to be cleaned and so you went about stripping the bed. A few drops of something dried a dark brown had stained part of the sheet, your stomach sank further still when you realized it might be blood. 

Okay, just calm down. Everything will be fine, you are not sick.

You gathered the sheets, and your strength, and went about doing what needed to be done.

It took a long time, too long and instead of heading out to run your errands you decided to stay in. Make yourself something warm and hearty for dinner, make yourself a tonic. That would have to work right? 

The sun set as you finally settled in to sit by the fire for the evening, falling into your fathers chair with a groan. The doorbell rang though and you seriously debated not answering, your eyes shut tight, the internal battle raging between your health, and your manners.

“My sweet? Are you well? It’s Max-“ he spoke loudly and your heart raced, making the decision for you. 

“Yes! One moment Max!” You rose unsteadily, inching your way towards the door as quickly as you could with how you were feeling. His face lit up when you opened the door, it fell soon after though, seeing the strain of it plain on your face. 

“Oh–” He made his way past you into the foyer. “-Are you quite well?” He moved to help you over to the chair, kneeling before you once you were seated.

“No Max, I’m afraid I’m a bit under the weather.” You tried to keep your voice light, tried to avoid his penetrating gaze. “You shouldn’t be here, I wouldn’t want you to catch whatever it is.” You pulled the light blanket higher up on your shoulders.

“Oh I very much doubt I could catch anything you might have.” He took hold of your hand, kissing the back of it quickly before moving to sit in the chair opposite. “What are you feeling?” His brow was furrowed, the gears in his mind turning smoothly.

“I feel tired.” The words were a sigh, compounding the sentiment. “Just bone tired, almost as though I cannot catch my breath.” Your hand came up to rest on your chest as you spoke. “My thoughts are slow, every part of me feels like it’s been slowed down—including my wits I think.” You took a deep breath and let out a deep sigh. “Worst is I cannot contact my mother and father, I fear something may happen to me while they are away.” 

“I can stay with you for a few hours, but something tells me you’re going to be just fine.” He winked and you couldn’t help but smile at his optimism. “Do you need anything? I can make myself useful.”

A thought popped into your head then, a fear—the fear.

“Would you mind laying with me for a time? In my bed? Just laying and talking?” It felt almost pathetic to ask him, this young, vibrant, healthy man—spending his night with a young, possibly very sick woman. 

“Of course my darling, I would be happy to. Come, I will help you.”

-

To your credit, you’d both laid there in the soft candlelight for a long time, talking about all of the different places he’d been and all of the different places you wanted to visit. He made you laugh, made you forget about how horrid you felt; made you feel special and wanted and so it inevitably led to you both being naked in your bed. 

Your feelings of weakness were now replaced with a mounting pleasure. His mouth was a steady suck at your nipple, his tongue circling the sensitive tip mercilessly while his hand worked away between your spread legs. Two thick fingers pumping, a thumb gliding, his tongue–a gorgeous dance being led to the tune of your pleasure. 

His cock was flushed with blood, hard and heavy against your thigh and leaking his pearly arousal onto your skin. You couldn’t help but reach down and wrap your hand around it, collecting everything that leaked from the tip to give him a stroke; try to make him feel at least half as good as he was making you feel. 

He moaned onto your skin, his hips chasing the friction of your slick fist, quicker and quicker until he groaned deeply, spilling his passion onto your thigh. And then his eyes found yours, the whites of them gone–the whole of them blacker than night and terrifying and then you felt it. 

A prick. 

Strangely familiar. 

There was no time to dwell on any of it though because his fingers were still pumping, his thumb still swirling and the force of your climax was enough to make you scream, then the darkness came. 

-

Glimpses of light plagued you, much like the dreams. One moment you were being chased by some huge, unseen monster, skirts whipping behind you through the night, a bloody grin never far behind. Then you’d open your eyes and be tossing and turning, sweat soaked and feverish in your own bed. 

It felt like hours. 

Hours of running, hours of tormented sleep, hours of confusion and god knows what else. 

I’m dying.

The thought came to you during a precious moment of clarity and all it did was scare you. 

Your eyes opened again, the light had faded, was it night? How many hours, days had gone by?

“Max?” It felt like another dream, this one cruel because he was there, healthy and glowing and sitting by your side. 

“I’m here, my darling.” His voice cut through the delirium, his hand a cool respite from fire burning just underneath your skin.

“Max-” Your voice was a hoarse croak, “I-I think I’m dying.” Tears streamed down your face, leaning into his hand with the little strength you had left.

“Yes, you are my love, but you don’t have to.” He stroked your face, leaning close to press his lips to your feverish brow. “You have a choice.”

“I don’t understand-” Was this another dream?

“If I leave you now, you will be dead by morning.” His voice was steady, “But there is another way. I could make you like me and then we can be together forever.” 

You couldn’t die now, there was so much to do, so much to see, and Max–he could have been the great love of your life and it wasn’t fair. 

“Like you? Max, I don’t want to die.” The tears flowed faster, fear and despair running rampant. 

Why couldn’t I have met you years ago?

“You don’t have to, I can make you like me.” He lifted your hand in his, placing a soft kiss at your wrist. “Would you like that? Do you want to be with me forever? I cannot help until you say yes.” He wiped away the tears and waited.

“Yes Max, I want to be with you forever.” He smiled a sharp smile, and in a flash he was at your throat, his kiss had teeth and it made you whimper, made you close your eyes and fall limp in his arms. There was a moment when you thought you’d lost consciousness but then there was something in your mouth, a thick liquid crawling down your throat and into your bloodstream. It was a balm, something to soothe the ache and the pain but it turned to acid in a flash. The web of hurt spreading like a lightning strike and burning twice as hot. 

It was agony. 

You’d been burned once as a child, your mother had been ironing one of your fathers suits. The red hot iron had merely grazed your arm, but the pain lingered for days, caused you sleepless nights and tears to spare. 

Compared to this, that burn was a kiss. That burn was the soft caress of a lover, a cool scrap of silk against your skin. 

“Max, what is happening to me?” Your voice is a strangled cry, the linens under you felt like steel wool. He answers and he's so much closer than you expected him to be while you thrash blindly. 

“It is almost over my love, soon the pain will pass.” His hand found yours through the chaos of the pain, a lifeline in the middle of a deep, dark, ocean. 

-

It could have been minutes, or hours that passed. It could have been years, but eventually the storm abated, and with it went the pain. 

“Max?” Your fingers flew up to your mouth, pressing against your lips, shocked at the way your voice sounded. Still your voice, but somehow more. 

“Yes my love, I am here.” His voice sounded different too, so much clearer—everything sounded clear. Too clear, the sound of the floorboards creaking under his steps so much louder than you’d ever heard it. “You will adjust.” He crouched beside your place in the bed and your eyes widened when you took him in. It was as though he’d been hiding behind a paper screen before, the shape of him clear enough to distinguish him from another, but somehow vague. 

He was devastatingly handsome, his skin smooth as polished marble, his eyes every shade of honey brown at once. 

“What did you do to me?” You reached out to touch him and you noted the perfect skin of your hands, almost doll-like.

“What you asked,” he grasped your hand in his, placing a kiss on your palm. “I have made you like me. Come—get dressed and we will eat.”

His words were like a punch to the stomach, hunger spreading like a bruise throughout your body, the pain of it almost debilitating.

“I might faint of hunger Max, where will we eat?” You dressed as quickly as you could, ignoring the slight tremble in your hands.

“Oh, I’m sure we’ll find something.” He helped you dress, pulling you from what you’d come to believe was your deathbed and out into the night but before you’d made it out the door, you caught your reflection and gasped.

It was you, that was to be sure but it wasn’t the You you’d come to expect to see. The woman in the mirror has your face, and your eyes, your hair—but she was different. Her skin was perfect. Her eyes sparkled, her teeth shone so white.

 It was mesmerizing.

“Is that me?” You watched the reflection, her beauty shifted, something predatory in the eyes.

“Yes my love, that is you.” He placed a kiss on your neck. “Come, before the sun rises.” He pulled you away from the mirror, and into hell.

-

“It’s overwhelming, I know, but you will adjust, as I did.” His voice is the anchor, a tether holding you from getting lost in the chaos. Has it always been this bad? This loud? Your feet carry you through the streets, with his hand guiding you along and the closer you get to the thick of it–to the crowd milling about the high street where the worst it is. 

“I know my love–” His arm slips around your waist, pressing you close. “-Just a little further, and I will find you what you need.” Your stomach roils, the hunger-the thirst rips a swathe through your being. 

“Why am I so hungry Max?” You stumble over a loose cobble but he steadies you, lifting you back onto your feet as though you were made of paper and it almost scares you how strong he is. 

“Because you have not eaten.” His words are casual, a seemingly simple answer for a seemingly simple question. It didn’t feel simple though, not with the way you could barely concentrate. Everything seemed to be amplified, the dial on the radio turned to an uncomfortable volume and there was no way to turn it down. Distorted voices, an incessant thumping so loud it made you blink to its beat. 

Worst of all, was the smell. 

The city smelled rotten. The cloyingly sweet smell of overly ripe fruit, the sour smell of unwashed bodies, the moldy smell of old bread, hard packed dirt filled with worms, but threaded through it was the rich smell of butter and fine wine–the green of summer grass. Underneath everything though was something else, something mouth-watering–something you couldn’t quite put your finger on. 

He led you towards the park, the vast, open, green space where you would have never gone unaccompanied, much less at night. It was hard to feel afraid with Max though, it was hard to feel anything but intense hunger. 

“That one there is a good candidate.” He gestures to a middle aged man. “He won’t be missed.” He watched you, an encouraging smile on his handsome face, you frowned in response. 

“I don’t understand–” You looked at the man again, he must have been in his late forties, maybe even early fifties. 

“You are hungry my love, eat.” He gestures again and your stomach sinks. “Oh come now, no need to be coy with me my darling, I can feel your hunger.” He smiles not unkindly at what must be a shocked expression. “If it makes you feel any better, he’s the worst sort of person. I can hear it in his mind, believe me, you will be doing this world a favour.” He kisses the back of your hand, soothing. 

“I don’t want to hurt anyone, Max.” Your hands tremble, “I cannot–” The man walks closer and the smell of him almost knocks you off your feet, the thumping is back and you’re horrified to realize it’s his blood. A thunderous sound pounding through his body and through your head, and before you realize what you’re doing, your feet are carrying you to him. 

It felt as though someone else was controlling you, something else entirely had taken over your senses, your limbs.

“Well aren’t you a pretty little thing.” The older man spots you then, his eyes light up with something altogether unwholesome, “What are you doing out this late, and all alone?” His eyes rake over your body in a way that would have scared you had you not been so focused on the sound his blood was making. 

“So… hungry…” You barely heard yourself over the sound of his heart, barely saw anything but the seemingly glowing network of veins in his skin, all of it a gorgeous lace pattern. 

“What’s that sugar-” He didn’t get to finish his question. Something in your body, something in your very being sprung out, a sudden, awful ache bloomed in your upper jaw before you bit into the salty flesh of his neck, piercing the brightest, thickest vein. 

Euphoria. 

Your body was curled around him, fingers digging into his arms, clutching him ever closer, your fingers so like the talons of some monstrous bird of prey.

He was silent as you took your fill, pull after pull of what tasted like the thickest, most delicious wine. 

“That’s enough my love, not too much.” Firm, strong hands managed to break your hold on the man much too soon. “You cannot drain him. I know, I know.” He soothed your pained expression, wiped at your mouth with his thumb, sticking it into his mouth with a sharp smile. “Believe me, it’s better to stay hungry than to kill outright. Could make you very sick. Come–let's go home.” He fussed at your clothes for a moment before dragging the man over to a bench. You glanced back at him as Max led you away, to anyone walking by, he was just some tired, old man—resting alone.

The walk back to his home was only slightly easier to handle, the sounds, the smells, the cloying press was almost tolerable now that your stomach was full. 

“Here we are, just here.” The house is much bigger than you’d anticipated, grand, but still tasteful. Years worth of ivy had already conquered most of the facade, giving it a cottage-like appeal and drawing your eye as he guided you inside. “The sun will be up soon, we must get into bed.” 

“Why?” Your eyes roamed throughout the space, noting the almost clinical cleanliness of the place. The rug under your feet, perfectly laid, cushions on the settee without a single sign of ever having been sat on. 

“Well, because the sun would kill us, my love.” He says it offhand, making your eyes widen at the back of his head. “We are impervious to almost everything, except that.” He opens a set of double doors at the top of the stairs and what greets you stops you in your tracks, eyes wide and full of terror. 

“Max, why is there a massive coffin in here?” You stand at the door, frozen in place. 

“Come now, there is nothing to be afraid of, it is where I sleep, where we will sleep–until I purchase you your own.” He smiles, his hands smoothing the worry on your face away with a welcome tenderness. “Believe me, once you get in, you will sleep just as soundly as you ever have in a regular bed, I promise you.” He pulls your gaze from the morbid thing to his own eyes, and in them you cannot help but find comfort, and honesty. 

“Promise?” You press yourself a little closer and he smiles, nodding before placing a cool kiss to your forehead.

“Of course, come–we haven't much time.” He places another quick kiss at your brow before starting to undress. You follow suit and once completely nude, he opens the box and lays in it, opening his arms to you. You hesitate for a second, but get in just the same, he closes the lid and plunges you both in complete, and utter darkness. 

 “That’s my good girl, are you comfortable?” There is just enough room to fit into one another's arms, even with your heightened senses–it is difficult to make out anything within the confined space. 

“Yes, there’s not much room, but I’m okay.” You scoot as close as you can, your face pressed into the crook of his neck. “Have you always slept here?” Your hand rests against his chest, just as his strokes at the skin of your back as best as he can. 

“Yes, since I was turned.” He moves his face, and finds your lips in the dark. “It’s nice to have you in here with me.” He kisses every inch of your face he can reach. Soft, chaste kisses that make you smile, until he deepens it. His tongue tastes sweet but you pull away before it can turn into anything more just yet. You smile when he chases your mouth. 

“Max-“ He finds your mouth again, cutting off your words and replacing them with a moan, “Max, tell me what you’ve done to me.” Your fingers thread through the short crop of his hair as he moves his kisses to your neck, to the base of your throat, and further still to the stiff peaks of your breasts. You bite your tongue as he takes on into his mouth, managing to distract you for a moment. 

He hums around a nipple, biting at it before soothing it with his tongue. You don’t know how, but you find your voice amid this assault.

“Max, tell me—oh-“ he manages to get you on your back within the small space, manages to squeeze himself between your legs and before he can distract you with his tongue again, you yank his hair back, silently relishing the deep groan he gifts you with. “Focus Max, I need you to answer my questions, I am at a loss and very confused.” You stroke the place where you yanked at his hair, “Please, Max, I need to know what you’ve done to me.” 

“I have made you into something else, something more. I have turned you into a vampire like me. Now we can be together forever.” He presses another kiss to your mouth, once again chaste. “You are neither dead, nor alive. You simply exist, as I do. You will need blood to sustain you, and a coffin at night to sleep in. You will never grow old, you will never get sick-“ he presses kisses to your neck between his words, “-you need never fear anything, and with me, you will never want for anything, ever again.”

“I am… not myself anymore?”

“You are more, you are better, you are at your full potential. You are mine, and I am yours. Neither of us ever need be alone again.” 

It was almost too much to bear, the change you now felt so keenly. His weight on top of you was nothing, the difference in your senses, the difference in your body, it was all almost too much and for a moment you thought you might drown in it.

“Peace, my love, be at peace.” He heard the sob crawl out of your throat, the emotion of it all getting the better of you. With an awkward shuffle you were in his arms again, weeping into the skin of his neck. “I know it is a big change, but I am here to guide you through it.” 

There were many and more questions you needed answered, but there would be more than enough time for that later. Eventually, the darkness of the space, the feel of him wrapped around you, the comfort in the steady sweep of his hands on your skin lulled you into just what he’d promised it would; warm, comfortable and dreamless sleep.

- Tag list: @foli-vora @frannyzooey @greeneyedblondie44 @lola4pedro @ezrasbirdie @221bshrlocked @artsymaddie @supernaturalgirl20 @sleep-tight1 @wheresarizona @sherala007 @marydjarin @cannedsoupsucks @thirstworldproblemss @ilikechocolatemilkh @freeshavocadoooo @hrk-fic-recs @maxwell--lord @princessxkenobi @the-feckless-wonder @kirsteng42 @thisshipwillsail316 @feministfanboi @dihra-vesa @stevie75 @readsalot73 @pedrostories @tobealostwanderer @mandocrasis @elegantduckturtle @diogodxlot @alczysz17 @evyiione @absurdthirst @beskarboobs @andruxx @littlemissoblivious @1800-fight-me @maievdenoir @gracie7209 @omlwhatamidoinghere @magikfanatic @frankiecatfish @pedritoispunk @studythoreauly @missswriter @pintsizemama @mswarriorbabe80 @a-trial-run-on-paper @la-le-lu @chickadee-djarin @dobbyjen @rosiefridayrogersunday @ajeff855 @johnsrevelation @the-witty-pen-name @zombiesnips-blog @quica-quica-quica @sarahjkl82-blog @fan-of-encouragement @queenofthecloudss @deadhumourist @felicisimor @sophiefatale2495 @toomanystoriessolittletime @what-iwish-you-knew @pedrostories @athalien @bi-thewayy @literallydontlook @pedrosbrat @gamingaquarius @localddreamers @luxmundee @iamafadedmoon @nakhudanyx @littlemisspascal @grogusmum @recklessworry @heyitmelexie @killyspinacoladas @gothicxbarbie @evildxad @dragonslarimar @spideysimpossiblegirl @chemtrail-mix @maievdenoir @breezythesimp @altarsw @artooies-scream @staygolddindjarin @softsweetedbeauty @littlemisspascal @yuiopiklmn @squidwell @allthatsleftbehind @just-blogging-around @bbyanarchist @girlofchaos @maddiedrmr @frasmotic @acourtofsnakes @buckybarneshairpullingkink @astoryisaloveaffair @harriedandharassed @swtaura @send-me-to-valhalla @shirks-all-responsibilities @androah @alwaysachorusgirl @dindjarinsmut @captain-jebi @gallowsjoker @oliviajdjarin @actuallyanita @tusk89 @dadbodfanatic-x @naiomiwinchester @blazedprince @rosymythologies @avidreader73 @mr-underhills-things @avengersfan25 @tastygoldentaters @nyotamalfoy @mymindfuckery

[mama-kat-art]

Free Art Requests Open!

Please read all the information below before making a request. This post will update as necessary. Current Status: OPEN!

Hello! I am open for free art requests for a limited time. 

Please send all requests via email (mamakatart@gmail.com). This helps me organize which requests have been completed and which ones are still works-in-progress. It also helps me communicate with you on what you want drawn, getting details and references, etc. Do not direct message me, I will not answer (also I am inconsistent in answering DMs on socials)

Here are the following Do’s and Don’ts for what I am comfortable drawing. 

Do’s:

Characters (cartoons, anime, video games, OC’s)

Chibis

Some animals 

Furries (Just a heads up, I have little to no experience in drawing furries but I am open to trying as long as you're patient with me!)

Keep it PG-13

Don’ts 

Gore

NSFW

Mecha/ machine weaponry

Realism

All completed artwork is for personal use ONLY. Do not use my art for profit.

Limit to 3 characters per request. All requests will have lineart, color, and simple shading with minimal background art.  

You may do multiple requests within the limited time period, however, please allow some time in between requests (minimum 5 days) to allow others input their requests.

Please be mindful that drawing/digital art is currently a side hobby. Completion of the requests may take me a few weeks up to a month depending on how busy my life becomes. 

Please do not get offended if I say no to your request, especially if it doesn't follow the “Do’s” and “Don'ts”. I am a very busy witch, so I may deny the request if it requires a lot. 

Request will be closed after October 31st (10/31/2024). I will be declining any emails for a request after this date. 

[copterbotblades]

  independent roleplay/ask blog for Blades of Transformers: Rescue Bots ✨️🚁  single muse*, multiverse & multiship, semi-selective, sfw, low/sporadic activity    anon asks & M!As welcome

  *(secondary muse Dani Burns may also appear)

written by Firefly, she/her (character bio & notes below)

note: I edit this post a lot. like multiple times a week if i'm feeling active. everything on here is subject to change

-🚁- Rules

 no internet discourse! i simply do not care :)

 no nsfw - I don't judge, but I am personally extremely uncomfortable with it, especially in a Transformers context. also note that I probably won't follow blogs that do explicit roleplays or writings on main-- again, nothing against you or the content, I just don't want to see it.

 please message me if you want to plan or chat about anything!

-🚁- Backstory

   During the latter years of the Autobot-Decepticon war, a rescue team of four young adult Cybertronians were discovered by Optimus Prime after being in stasis for several millennia. At this point, Rescue Bots were thought to be extinct. The bots were brought to Earth and paired with a family of human rescue workers to protect the residents of a semi-isolated high-tech island called Griffin Rock, where they regularly prevent disaster from occurring.    Blades, the team's medic and only flier, is very anxious and easily frightened. Despite his protests due to his fear of heights, he had to scan a helicopter altmode after reaching Earth. His human partner is Dani Burns, an EMT and rescuer in her early 20s. While the pair had a difficult beginning with many disagreements, they eventually realized how much they had in common. The two are now inseparable friends both in rescue work and at home, watching TV and making interesting attempts at baking.

-🚁- FAQs

 Time frame - Unless stated otherwise, events take place between the S1 finale and S3 finale-- essentially meaning that Doc Greene and Frankie are aware of the bots' sentience, but the rest of the island residents are not.

 Will RP with - Transformers, some OCs, and maybe characters from other fandoms. (please DM first!)

 Genres - Any. Fluff, hurt/comfort, angst, crack, whatever. Violence and injury is ok, gore is not.

 Ships - My ships with Blades are almost always Bumblebee or Heatwave, but I'm open to others! Shipping isn't really a priority for me though.

 Anonymous asks - yes! I can't promise to answer every ask, but know that all are appreciated :]

 Magic Anons - yes, always!

 also, "low/sporadic activity" means that sometimes I'll be really active one week and then completely disappear the next. i promise i haven't forgotten, i'm just busy and/or have writer's block </3

Formatting - IC writing is in plain text, speaking lines are in quotes "", thoughts are in italics. If Blades is speaking over commlinks, text will be .:like this:. . OOC posts and tags are in brackets [ ]. I can't/won't write with asterisks.

-🚁- Character notes & headcanons:

  Both Blades and Dani are pansexual.

  Blades has bright orange/yellow optics. (Yes, I know they're green in RBA. I like orange better.)

  Dani has dark brown eyes.

  The concept of gender doesn't really exist on Cybertron, but on Earth Blades sort of defaulted to he/him.

  Blades used to have a Cybertronian ground altmode similar to an Earth sports car. He sometimes misses racing with the other Rescue Bots and his friends back on Cybertron.

  He's learned to deal with his fear of heights and become a skilled flier, but is still vulnerable to panic in the air, especially under stressful circumstances (e.g. weather).

  His helicopter rotors are extremely sensitive, and fragile. If they are broken or bent, he can't fly until they are repaired and healed.

  Blades is the team's medic. However, he is somewhat inexperienced and obviously nowhere near the skill level of those like Ratchet. (Also, he knows next to nothing about human anatomy and health. That's Dani's job.)

originally est. 2022 / new blog est. 2024

[cherik-bingo]

Cherik Bingo Information/FAQ

What is a bingo?

A bingo is a fandom event in which upon signing up, you'll be sent a bingo card with prompts to use to create fan content.  These prompts can be interpreted however you’d like, but they must be connected to whatever it is you create.

What types of fan content is permitted in the Cherik Bingo?

Anything at all, so long as it is centered around Cherik!  Writing, artwork, edits, videos, crafts, moodboards, music, literally whatever you’d like!  Be creative!

Is there a minimum amount of works I need to create?

Nope!  You aren’t required to get a bingo or fill out your whole card or even make anything at all if you don’t want to.  It’s all about having fun and celebrating the wonderful ship that is Cherik.

How long do I have to submit my fills?

You can submit your fills from the time you get your card through July 31, 2023.  No fills will be counted after that point.

How long will it take before I receive my card?

It could take anywhere from a few hours to a few days depending on how busy I am.  If a week has passed after you’ve signed up and you still haven’t received a card, please dm me on tumblr or reach out over discord, and I will make sure to help you out.

Can I request a second card?

If you fill up your whole card, you can request another, but if the first card is not filled, no second card will be given.

Can I use multiple squares for one fill?

No, sorry. While you can create something that adheres to multiple prompts, each singular work (or singular chapter if it's a longer fic) can only count for one prompt.

Can I crosspost with other events?

Absolutely, so long as the other event allows it too.

Can I collaborate with others?

Of course! Just make sure everyone is credited properly!

Can I trade or replace my squares?

I will not be replacing squares on anyone's card after they are sent out, but there is an option to swap squares with other participants, and there will also be a set of prompts each month that can be used to replace any square on a card (but only one square can be replaced by a monthly prompt each month).

Can I submit works I’ve posted prior to this event?

The goal of this event is to add to the existing library of Cherik fanwork, so this event will only be accepting new works.

Are there rules about creating dark or NSFW content?

Create whatever you want! Just make sure everything is tagged properly, so that people looking to avoid certain content are able to!

Where do I submit my fills once I’ve made them?

Fill out the fill submission form here! This way, I can make sure you are able to receive any badges you've earned!

You can also submit to our Ao3 collection, though this is not mandatory.

What are those badges you mentioned?

There are four badges that can be earned.

- Completed a square

- Got a bingo

- Blacked out whole card

- Used a monthly prompt every month

I may give them titles at some point, but I haven't yet.

This all sounds great!  How do I sign up?

Fill out the sign up form here!

Is there a place where I can chat with others involved in the Cherik Bingo?

If you’re interested, you can join the Cherik Bingo Discord server.  You aren’t required to sign up for the bingo to join; it’s open to any and all Cherik fans!

I have another question that wasn’t mentioned here.

Send an ask!  I’m happy to answer any and all questions!

[thomasicism]

── #. 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐒 ; 𝐋&𝐃𝐒

In affiliation with Flux Arts ; please direct any business concerns towards me.

Disclaimer: This is a gimmick / roleplay blog created for entertainment purposes only! Admin does not own this character, and is in no way, shape, or form associated with InFold PTE LTD. or the Love and Deepspace franchise.

‼️ THIS IS THE LATEST ANNOUNCEMENT.

Muse and admin / OP (operator; the person behind this account) are 21+, so NSFW asks (suggestive/explicit) are allowed and will be tagged appropriately. However, please be careful of the media you consume. If caught engaging in NSFW posts while underage/ageless, you will be blocked!

I (admin) also reserve the right to refuse to answer (and subsequently delete) interactions/asks that I am not comfortable with answering. Please don't take it personally, this is for my personal comfort!

Links: prompt/starter ideas ; thread tracker

LAST UPDATE: Jan. 06, 2025

𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊?

Roleplays and interactions can be done via asks, reblogs, replies, and/or mentions. Note that DMS ARE ALWAYS OOC.

This is a mirrored roleplay account—meaning you are free to interact as you see fit, whether in the form of para, semi-para, or multi-para, lit or semi-lit, or as dialogue or prose. Whichever way you interact, I will match you!

I primarily will reply using she/her pronouns. If you want to be referred to by other pronouns, please tell me!

You can interact as an oc or as canon mc, either works. Just be sure to make it clear in your interaction if you're acting as mc, so I know how to incorporate existing lore/etc!

If you are interacting with an OC/persona for the first time, please do introduce yourself (i.e. how you want to be addressed).

You may interact with a platonic relationship, established relationship, or developing relationship in mind, as long as you specify somehow. HOWEVER, please keep in mind that Thomas is primarily slowburn, if you choose to go down the developing route!

This blog is open to shipping (with l&ds canon characters/ocs/etc), but is non-exclusive (meaning that multi-shipping is allowed). Each ship/interaction gets its own verse.

If you wish to plot a roleplay beforehand, feel free to slide into DMs! This is not required for you to interact with my muse, but an optional thing in case you want to discuss something!

PLEASE be careful regarding art shared on this blog. CHECK FIRST if the artist allows reposts. If not; please only share the art via a link! If allowed; please always credit back via a link and username! Let's respect our lovely artists <3

Replies might be slow and sporadic! If it's taken more than a week to get to your ask/thread, feel free to bump them for me!

OOC posts begin with "🖌️;" ! OOC tags write as "[text]" !

Note: PLEASE do NOT use any writing on this blog for AI training or other related purposes.

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒.

please mute and curate as necessary!

OOC:                        out of office hours (ooc) Suggestive:           caution | suggestive Explicit:                caution | explicit Answered asks:            best regards; (inbox) General:                  gallery memo RP:              thomas | rp Thoughts:                      thomas | musings Moments: framed on the wall (moments) Propmts: contact info (prompts) Queue:             from the backroom (queue) Reblog:               attached herewith; (reblog) Thread tag:               (emoji/alias) | story unfolding Verse tag:             in your painting... ([e/a] verse) General label: (emoji/username) | mail

TAKEN ANONS— 🌷 ; 🖋️ ; ⭐ (S.M) ; ❄ ; 🌹; 🕸️ ; ducknon

CANON TAGS— rafayel; my sea. my freedom. ✦ talia; symphonious waves ✦ jeremiah; flower weaves ✦ xavier; a clear midnight ✦ tara; miss sunshine

Admin 🌹: @rose-tinted-kalopsia ^OC/MC, Kaia 🐰 @kaiakaya ^OC Cedar 📖: @ofthecedartree

[maeby-cursed]

𓂃 my rules !

❤︎ i write mainly for jjk, but sometimes i also write for mha !

❤︎ do not follow me if you fit any of the standard dni criteria (no lgbt-phobes, racists, pro-ana, pro-lifers, bigots, terfs…) or if you’re under seventeen years old.

❤︎ this is primarily a sfw blog, but i may post nsfw later on, so you must be 17+ to interact.

❤︎ reqs are open as long as they aren't requests for part ii (please, accept that some works are meant to be oneshots), and i may take some time to get to them bc of uni.

❤︎ inbox is always open for interactions but i’d rather mutuals only to access my dms (they can also ask for my disc) !

❤︎ do not ask me to write about traumatic scenarios (sexual abuse, bullying…) or other dark content.

→ i do not have anything against these, i just do not feel comfortable writing them as of now.

❤︎ i mostly write fem!reader or gn!reader, but i do not feel comfy writing male!reader.

→ on this note, my readers will not be described appearance wise unless specifically stated.

❤︎ do not copy/repost/edit/translate any of my works under no circumstance.

❤︎ i swear often and ramble a lot; you’ve been kindly warned.

❤︎ i try to answer my asks on sundays since uni keeps me busy during the week; thank you for understanding !

❤︎ please, be nice and remember that rbs are always appreciated !! (refrain from spam liking, instead spam reblog)

© 2023 - 2024, MAEBY-CURSED.

[againtodreaming]

mila - she/her - 20 - infp 6w7 - esp/eng

studyblr: @dreamstudies

writeblr: @dreamsorwrites

fandoms: bsd, dc comics (batfamily, teen titans), link click, loki (2011-2013), vanitas no carte, yuukoku no moriarty, jujutsu kaisen, death note, kuroshitsuji, star wars, miraculous ladybug, fullmetal alchemist, genshin

storygraph: nostalgianochecer

always open to tag games and asks :D

i don't really tag them, but a lot of posts are queued

i can be horrible with answering things on time, so sorry if i ever take too long in answering anything, it's on my mind tho (or it will return) and i'll definitely get around to it at some point! (and if i'm taking more than 2 weeks in answering a dm, feel free to remind me about it, i may be busy but it's also really probable that I just didn't realize how much time passed)

navigation (work in progress):

(usually forget to tag, but trying to get mostly everything organized bc there are a LOT of times that I either take forever or can't find whatever I'm looking for 🥲) (...apparently this is really needed bc i can't even keep my tags straight...)

#mila habla / #personal / #tag game / #asks / #ask game / #uquiz /

#analysis / #meta analysis / #useful / #save / #reminder / #quotes / #web weaving / #to read again / #for later / #resources / #reading guide / #reference /

#bsd / #japanese literature / #nakahara chuuya / #soukoku / #bsd analysis /

#dc comics / #dick grayson analysis / #dick grayson meta / #dick grayson / #dick grayson centric / #bruce wayne / #teen titans / #donna troy / #wonder twins / #koriand'r / #dickkory / #comic panels / #dick grayson & titans / #batfamily / #clark kent / #dick and bruce / #bruce & dick / #dick and clark / #dick & jason / #dick & tim / #dick and damian

#loki / #loki meta / #brodinsons /

other fandoms: #merlin / #dracula daily /

[lovelymessybubbly]

Introduction ヽ(o＾▽＾o)ノ

[artwork by the amazing @gladdyator18 !! check out my pinned post for weekly fanart features !!!]

[pfp by the incredible Jane Walker, you can find her work and commission info here !!!]

hello my tamadachi !! thank you for visiting my blog !!! (((o(*°▽°*)o)))

you can call me tamago, tama or egg !! i post my tickling fanart here, both fluff and light smut. everything is tagged accordingly so i welcome anyone to enjoy my content !! please visit my navigation post (linked below) so you can block any tags as needed.

commissions

i am currently working on: 5 commissions

eta if you place a commission now: 5-6 weeks

please find my pricing info here !! if you want to order a commission or have further questions, please feel free to dm me.

i take payment primarily through my kofi, which you can find here , or if you would just like to support me in general !!

i have an idea for a drawing !!

i usually only open requests for special events such as milestones, but i am always happy to hear ideas and suggestions. if you have a character or prompt you want to see, please drop it in my askbox. i may be inspired to put it to play !!

i wanna chat !!

i am a very outgoing and open-minded person, and absolutely love hearing from each and every one of you. i want all of your asks/dms/comments, but please keep a few things in mind !!

this is a fandom blog. for the most part, i am not interested in discussing irl tickling scenarios or personal tickling related things. sometimes i will do ask games if i am bored but that is about it. i am not looking for lees/lers, nor to tease or be teased. if you approach me with either of those two things you will be blocked. otherwise, general tickling related asks are okay, just understand it may not always get answered because my comfort with it varies.

state your business ! please do not send me a dm that just says "hi." i will not answer and you might get blocked, too. it is just a personal preference so please understand. if you have a question or want to talk about something please just say it right off the bat. thank you !!

i am a busy person !! i work full time. i have a serious partner and an active social/family life. i am maintaining a home. please understand i may be very irregular with responses and general activity. it may even last days. please do not take it personally !! i just request patience.

navigation through hashtags can be found here !!

what fandoms am i currently drawing for ?? find out here !!!

tama-chan fanart from my lovely tamadachi - here !!

if you have any questions, or just want to chat, please send asks and/or messages !! let’s all do our best to get along !! ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆

[darkmulti]

-> 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞

-> 𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭, 𝐲𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝.

-> 𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

-> releasing this a bit early because we reached 4K+!! Thank you guys so much! I love you all<3

-> THIS PROFILE CONTAINS DUB-CON AND NON-CON THEMES! PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It was a Saturday night — the busiest day of the week. You worked at the strip club, not as an exotic dancer but as a waiter. The money you were making was just enough for you to survive on your own.

Tonight, you wanted to ask your boss if you could start working as a dancer. You packed your new dancewear and everything you might need in case the boss says yes. It was around 4 pm when you arrived. You walked to your boss’s office and gently knocked on the door.

“Come in”

You grab the door handle and push the door open, revealing your boss Taehyung with a glass of whiskey in his hand.

“Hello, little one. What can I help you with?”

You thought the nickname was creepy at first, and when you politely asked him to stop calling you that, he said that he had a nickname for every employee. Over time, you’ve grown used to it. And you’d be lying if you said that it didn’t give you butterflies in your stomach.

“I know this is sudden, but can I start dancing?”

Taehyung squeezed the glass cup tightly, almost shattering it with his bare hand.

“But why? You’re just a little angel. Angels don’t sin, little one.”

“Sir, I really need money. I want to go back to school and get a degree so I can have a permanent job.”

There was a pause of silence before you spoke up again.

“I-I can show you my skills. I’ve been practicing. I even brought my dancewear.”

Taehyung shoots you a glare. It was intense and almost threatening. He sighs as he puts the glass of whiskey on his desk and walks to the couch, where he sat down with his muscular thighs spread apart.

“Go wear your little outfit and come back here.”

You innerly smile and leave to the dressing room to change. Once the door closed, Taehyung let out a chuckle. He’s never going to allow you to be a dancer, he just wants to watch you for his pleasure.

After adjusting your straps and fixing up your hair, you sprayed some perfume around your neck and walk back to his office.

“Sir, I’m ready.”

“Good, now come in and lock the door.”

You did as told then remove your robe. It didn’t take long for Taehyung’s member to harden after seeing your body on full display. Taehyung turned some music on then said “the stage is all yours, little one.”

You’ve been practicing for months, just for this moment. Bending over and whipping your hair back, showing off your beautiful body to him. Taehyung motioned you to come to him, so you can give him a lap dance.

He placed his hands on your hips and made you grind on his bulge. Your face warmed up after feeling his boner that you caused. Taehyung started moving his hips with yours, making you whimper.

His hands moved to your breast and gave it a light squeeze. “Sir, I thought touching is not allowed.”

“I’m the boss. I make the rules. Right now, touching is allowed.” You were too naive to understand that he was manipulating you.

30 minutes pass and you finally stop and take a step back.

“So... what did you think?”

You were expecting a positive response and even a praise but you got the complete opposite.

“I’m sorry, little one. You’re not good enough. I can give you a raise but I’m not letting you become a dancer.”

“But what if I practice more? Could you reconsider?!”

“No is my final answer, little one. I’m a very busy man and I don’t have time to watch you dance just for you to fail.”

Embarrassed. You felt so embarrassed. You genuinely thought Taehyung was enjoying your show. Well, it sure as hell looked like it. A gloomy look took over your face and you walked towards the door to leave.

“Don’t give me that pouty face, little one.”

Taehyung abruptly pulled you on his lap and attached his lips to yours. You didn’t respond until Taehyung’s hand spanked your butt, causing you to moan.

“Grind on me, baby. I know you want it just as much as I do.”

You rubbed your clit harder against his bulge until you released. “Keep moving, little one. Help daddy cum too.” He growled, before grabbing your face and kissing you again. Deep moans left his mouth turning you on even more. His hands all over your body — it felt euphoric.

Taehyung let out one last groan before cumming in his pants. “Fuck! You’re so fucking good.” he kissed your jawline and moved down to your neck.

“How about this, little one. You become my personal dancer and I pay you money. You can stay with me, I’ll buy you everything you need as long as you accompany me and satisfy my sexual needs.”

“Like a sugar daddy?”

“Exactly”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Rules:

No dating

No lying

No revealing clothes

If something is wrong, tell him

No swearing

Don’t be bratty

Obey him

Never reject his kisses

Don’t leave without his permission

Answer his calls and texts immediately

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

How he’s like:

Taehyung’s a charming, gentleman

He treats you like a queen

He never ignores you

You’re his first priority

This man spoils the shit out of you

He buys you luxurious clothes and accessories

For your birthday, he bought you a brand new Porsche convertible

Taehyung’s very possessive, but you honestly don’t mind

You love spending time with him anyways

Anytime another male is too close to you, he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him

If you hug him, his hands will immediately go down to your ass and grab it

He’s very affectionate

Even at important events, Taehyung will always hug you, kiss your lips, cheeks and forehead in front of anyone

Sometimes you forget that you’re his sugar baby because he treats you like his wife

Your opinion matters to him

Whether it’s a big or small decision, he always wants to hear what you think

In the morning, he makes you breakfast

Especially if you had a long night with him (if ykyk)

When he’s doing work, he makes you sit on his lap and do some cock warming

Taehyung loves travelling with you

He’d rent out expensive villas or hotel room

Taehyung loves swimming with you

The man enjoys your company

You’re so lovable, sweet and innocent

It was almost like you were made for him

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Yandere Taehyung:

Taehyung was secretly obsessed with you

After he hired you as a waiter, he wanted to know everything about you

Since the job application required your address, Taehyung knew where you lived

He broke into your apartment and hid tiny cameras in places you’d never see

There were cameras in your kitchen, living room, bedroom and bathroom

He did this to keep an eye on you and make sure that you’re not seeing another man

When you’re at work, Taehyung stops by your apartment and takes some of your underwear to get off

He hacked into all your social media accounts, unfollowed guys he didn’t like and checked your dm’s regularly to make sure nobody was trying to get with you

If you made plans with your friends, Taehyung would show up (in disguise) and watch you from afar

Whenever you had plans or even a date, Taehyung would call you and say that more waiters are needed and he will pay extra because it’s an emergency

So you end up cancelling on your friends/date which angers them

Soon, your friends stopped inviting you to hang out because you always cancel last minute because of work

Taehyung’s plan was too isolated you from your friends which gives him the perfect opportunity to swoop in and be your one and only companion

And what do you know, his plan worked

Not only that but since you have no friends anymore, you’re always with him

So he never has to worry about you fooling around behind his back

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Sex Life:

Taehyung was incredible in bed

He never failed to satisfy your sexual needs

You’ve both tried so many kinky things in bed and it was honestly fun

He was addicted to eating you out

Hickeys all over your body. Between your thighs, on your stomach and chest. All over your neck, collar bone and jawline.

Taehyung loves marking what’s his

Traditional rough sex + doggy

But hey, it gets the job done

Three round minimum, 7 rounds maximum

Taehyung will always cum inside of you

He loves watching himself cum into your little hole

He gets more turned on when watches cum his leaking out of your hole and running down your thigh

Dry humping is something he’s into

The idea of both of your coming without having actual sex drives him crazy

Blowjobs for days

He loves watching you suck him off

Make eye contact with him while you suck and he’ll have an orgasm

You must swallow all of his cum

Don’t spit it out

Before Taehyung got you, he used to use your underwear to masturbate

You eventually started to notice that a bunch of your panties disappeared

Therefore, Taehyung returned most of them (except for his favourites), some washed, some not

Taehyung could literally cum to the thought of you wearing panties covered in his dried-up cum

It made him hard just thinking about it

Over time, you notice Taehyung becoming more aggressive in bed

It would get so bad that you’d have to use the safe word to get him to stop

You noticed he started doing things he’s never discussed with you before

Sometimes, you cry under him because he scares you

He’d pin your hands above your head and fuck as hard as he could

You were not used to it nor were you a big fan of it

He was taking everything out on you

Taehyung would start at 21:30 and finish at 04:00

Unknowingly, Taehyung’s yandere side took over him

Some may know him as V

His cruel and sadistic side who felt no remorse whatsoever

V’s kinks are dark and heavy

He choked you until you couldn’t breathe, tied you up so you couldn’t move, and slapped you when you asked him to stop

V enjoyed watching you cry too

Overstimulation was the worst part

Your core was crying for a break but V couldn’t care less

The man fucked you until you passed out

Minimum 7 rounds, maximum... there’s no maximum

In the morning, he’d still be deep in you and depending on his mood, he may or may not fuck you again

At this point, you didn’t care if it was Taehyung or V, you needed to leave him

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Trying to break off the (3 years) contract:

This is when Taehyung goes fucking insane.

After nights of relentless sex, you finally decide to break the contract. You couldn’t handle the abuse anymore. Sex every night to “remind you of your place” was complete bullshit. You stayed with him for two more months, hoping that the old, sweet Taehyung would come back and save you.

Unfortunately, he never did. After you lost all hope, you wanted to get away from Taehyung as soon as possible. He can keep all the gifts and money he’s given you if that means freedom.

You woke up only to see Taehyung missing from the bed. He must’ve gone to work, you thought. You get ready and pack all of the clothes you brought to his mansion. You write a small message on a notepad, saying that it’s over. You didn’t dare to tell him face to face because you knew exactly where it would’ve lead to.

You left his mansion and took the bus back to your apartment. An hour later, Taehyung was blowing up your phone, spamming you with messages.

“Where the fuck are you?!”

“Answer my calls!”

“Explain the message on the notepad!”

“What do you mean that we’re “done” ?”

“The contract’s not over yet! I still fucking own you.”

“Get your ass over here!”

“You’re making your punishment worse for yourself.”

“How can you say goodbye to me like this?! Do I mean nothing to you?!”

“You’re going to regret this!”

“Come back here, now!”

“Stay where you are, I’m on my way!”

You started to tear up because you were petrified. You drop your phone in fear and ran into your closet. You hid in a basket full of your clothes so no one could see you. Not even a minute passed and Taehyung was banging on your apartment door.

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, Y/N.”

You covered your mouth, stopping the sobs from coming out. You needed to find a weapon. You looked around your closet and that’s when you spotted something.

A camera.

A tiny camera is hidden in plain sight. Your heart dropped to your stomach. How long has that been there? Who placed it there? Your mind immediately went to Taehyung. You were trying to connect the dots but how could he have possibly gotten into your apartment?

You stopped questioning when you heard Taehyung break down the door. He came right to your bedroom and opened the closet door. He pulled out the basket you were hiding. “Get up.”

That’s when you knew the camera belonged to him. He knew your exact location. You couldn’t help but wonder how long he’s been watching you.

You take a deep breath in and stand up. Taehyung’s fierce eyes encountered your terrified ones. He grabbed your jaw and pulled your face close to his.

“What the fuck were you thinking?! You nearly gave me a heart attack! I thought one of my enemies kidnapped you but no! You just left me with a shitty ass note.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?!” Taehyung pinched the bridge of his nose. “SORRY?! THAT’S ALL YOU FUCKING GOT?!”

He picked up your glass jewelry box and threw it on the floor. The whole thing shattered, causing you to burst out in tears. “T- Taehyung! Stop! Stop it! You’re scaring me!”

“Good bitch. Seems like I haven’t scared you enough because you still have the nerve to fucking leave me.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Omg, I finally wrote something after months of being an unproductive piece of shit.

This is bad, but I still hope you enjoyed 😊

Oh and I apologize for any mistakes. Like always, I’m half asleep:)

xoxo,

naina❣️

[captain-josslett]

Broken Melody - Part Fifty Nine

Masterlist

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 8k

Warnings: ⚠️ Major level angst and suicidal thoughts ⚠️

Pairings: Alex Danvers x Sam Arias, Kara Danvers x OC

This Part: Emma is trying to cope with her break up with Diana, but has everything become too much and she finally snaps?

Okay, this has been a very difficult chapter to write as I'm poured a lot of myself and my own thoughts into this. Please understand that everyone reacts differently to situations so the way in which Emma deals with everything may not be how you would deal with it. Plus everyones mental health journey will be different from yours. This is based on mine.

Also, please do not read if you aren't feeling up to it. I am happy for you to DM me and I can talk you through what has happened.

Remember, you are loved, you are enough and you are important.

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please! I like knowing your thoughts.

Taglist: @finleyfray, @life-is-hella-unfair, @natasha-danvers, @supergirl-writingz, @camslightstories, @inquisitive-nix, @thinking1bee, @aznblossom, @checkingoutforheroes, @mmmmokdok, @certainkryptoniangeek, @starmako26

Eliza stares up at the ceiling, clinging to J’onn as they lay in bed. Her heart is breaking for her daughter, she just wants to make things right for her baby girl. Her mind worries what this could do to Emma, who has already been through so much. How much more could she take?

When everyone had gone to bed Eliza sobbed quietly into J’onn’s shoulder while he comforted her. Crying tears of his own. It had worried them greatly how much pain they witnessed within Emma’s eyes, despite her blank expression.

Eliza notices the room is slowly getting brighter and decides she isn’t going back to sleep. She sighs heavily and slowly sits up, causing J’onn to stir and gently places his hand on her back.

“Are you okay?” J’onn whispers softly.

“I just can’t sleep anymore.” Eliza answers quietly before getting up and wrapping a dressing gown around her. J’onn yawns and sits up while Eliza quietly leaves the room. She heads down the hallway and pauses outside Emma’s door. Hearing silence from the room she carefully opens the door as quietly as she can.

Alex and Kara both sadly gaze up at her, their eyes shining in the early morning light. Emma is in between them clinging to Alex’s front while Kara is pressed against her back.

Eliza comes over and sits on the edge of the bed. “Have either of you slept?”

Both of her daughters shake their heads.

“Has Emma?”

“She’s just fallen asleep.” Alex whispers mournfully and yawns.

“She’s been crying for hours.” Kara whispers defeatedly.

Eliza nods and focuses on Emma’s face. Clear tear streaks have dried down her cheeks and her expression is one of clear distress, despite being asleep. Eliza swallows deeply and tenderly tucks some hair behind Emma’s ear.

“Get some sleep.” Eliza whispers and kisses the top of Alex and Kara’s heads. Her daughters snuggle back into Emma and close their eyes. Eliza sadly watches them and gets up to quietly leave the room. She heads downstairs and hovers by the door while J’onn and Robyn have a discussion.

“Was she as bad as this?” J’onn asks while pouring hot water from a kettle into three mugs.

“She was worse in some ways, but she didn’t look so defeated, so lost.” Robyn thanks J’onn for the cup of tea and taps the mug in thought. “For weeks she stayed in bed, stared blankly into space, would hardly eat anything and only slept occasionally.” Robyn sighs. “Eventually I knew I had to get her up and out of the flat, that’s why I booked Abbey Studios to try and coax her out. Told her my management had done it instead. Thankfully the plan worked and she kept herself busy and helped me with my album. But, other than the de-stress room, I don’t think she truly dealt with it.”

Eliza makes her presence known and sits on the other stool. J’onn slides her coffee to her. “It being?”

“The break up, how she felt abandoned.” Robyn takes a sip of her drink, noticing how J’onn and Eliza’s heads lower. “Plus she hadn’t figured out about her powers yet and had the nosebleeds, headaches etc.”

“But?” J’onn asks, hearing Robyn’s thoughts race around.

“But, I feel she’s worse. Her eyes look even more dead and I thought she had hit rock bottom after Luthor broke up with her. This time, it feels like she’s slammed through that rock bottom and is free falling again.”

“Is there-” Eliza’s voice cracks and she swallows to ease the tension in her throat. “What did you do to help her?”

“In the beginning I just tried to support her. Bring her food, sit with her. Maybe we can book another de-stress room? Or you guys can make one?” Robyn tilts her head as her eyes flick between the couple.

Footsteps sound on the stairs and Sam appears in the doorway. “What is a de-stress room?” She yawns and sits on the other stool. J’onn goes to make her a cup of coffee.

“It’s a room or warehouse with items that you can break. Stuff like crockery, broken electronic equipment, the one I took Em to had a car. She beat the crap out of it.” Robyn shakes her head, remembering the disbelief she felt watching Emma bend the metal like it was nothing.

“We could arrange something like that.” J’onn says and passes Sam her drink.

“And what about Alistair?” Sam asks softly while taking a sip of her drink.

“I’ll contact him.” J’onn says and nods in approval of Sam’s suggestion.

“Yea, she mentioned him and his dog, Lily.” Robyn confirms.

They sit in silence, all lost in their own thoughts.

Hours pass and eventually everyone comes down to begin the day. Other than the Danvers sisters.

The group quietly plays a few games until it is time for lunch.

“Shall I go wake them?” Sam asks after she had set up the table with Lena.

“No, leave them to rest.” Eliza says softly and sits in her usual seat while Ruby goes to sit next to Lena and gives the raven haired woman a long hug.

They begin eating but the mood around the table is quiet and sombre.

Ruby fidgets and plays with her food, a frown sits permanently on her face while she thinks.

“Rubes?” Sam asks, noticing her restless daughter.

“It’s nothing.” Ruby says quietly.

“Your crinkle says otherwise.” Lucy says lightheartedly, causing Ruby to try and relax her face.

The teen glances at Lena before telling the group what’s on her mind. “I just, I can’t believe Diana did that.” Ruby huffs out. “Why did she do it?” She turns back to Lena, her eyes glistening with tears. “Why did she do that to you? What did you do? Why did she hurt Emma? I thought she loved her-” A sob erupts from Ruby’s mouth, Lena reaches out to hug her and Sam makes her way over to her daughter.

“We won’t know for sure and it’s better not to speculate.” Brainy answers and a few others nod.

“Will you go looking for her?” Ruby gulps out, feeling more and more conflicted over her feelings towards Diana.

“No, I don’t believe we will.” J’onn answers and Ruby deflates in relief. “Although I have contacted Bruce Wayne and he is going to look out for her.”

“I disagree.” Winn slams his hand on the table.

“Winn-” Lena starts softly but is cut off.

“She hurt you! Almost gave you second degree burns and I still stand with that cause your skin would have blistered if not for Emma healing you.”

Before anyone can say anything Sam’s head whips up and she places her fingers against her lips. “They’re awake.”

Eliza immediately starts plating up food for her daughters and the group hear footsteps coming down the stairs.

Kara enters first, her face is sullen but she gives Ben a glum smile. She leads a downcasted Emma into the room with Alex right behind their sister.

Kara continues to lead them over to the three empty chairs where Alex and Kara help Emma into the middle one. Tears continue to drip from Emma’s puffy eyes and she sniffs heavily, breaking everyones’ heart in the room.

After some silence Ben takes a deep breath. “So, what are the plans for the next couple of days?”

The Superfriends try to keep conversation light and upbeat as they list off things they haven’t done yet.

“Could we go bowling?” Ruby asks hopefully.

“That sounds like a great idea.” Alex smiles over at her.

“With Emma wearing dampeners this time!” Lucy laughs but Emma’s lips barely move into a smile.

“Are we still going to the new year party in town?” Nia enquiries.

“Yes, or we can stay here.” Eliza says with a small smile.

“So no fancy galas?!” Ruby asks excitedly, making Lena chuckle.

“No fancy galas. Well, there is one but Jess is taking care of it.” Lena explains before focusing on Alex. “I will need to return to L-Corp after the new year.” Lena presses and the redhead tilts her head. “I have some projects that I cannot-”

“I understand Lena.” Alex says softly. “But would you be willing to have some DEO agents to enter your security team?”

“It would make me feel more comfortable.” Kara says, activating her puppy dog eyes, knowing Lena struggles to say no to them.

Lena shakes her head and rolls her eyes at the gesture. “Fine, but they have to wear suits, none of the body armour or DEO uniform.”

“Agreed.” Alex confirms.

Lena nods and her eyes quickly glance over at Emma, who pushes her food around her plate. A pang hits her and she swallows at the sight.

“As nice as it has been in Midvale we will need to return back to normality at some point.” Lucy sighs.

“Yea, even with all the drama.” Nia jokes. ”Life of a Superfriend I guess.” Nia smiles and a few of the others laugh.

But Emma’s head lowers even more. How can she return to normality when her normal has crashed and burned. The thought of going back to her apartment in National City fills Emma with dread and anxiety. Even though she feels completely broken and numb, a deep grief hits her heart. Her mind starts going through every mistake she has made, analysing every wrong doing she did that made Lena and Diana leave her.

‘I’m never enough.’ Emma thinks brokenly and her face crumbles. She sniffs loudly, a lump enters her throat and tears threaten to spill over again. She starts rocking to soothe herself but this draws the attention of the others.

“Oh sweetheart.” Eliza says and reaches over Alex to take Emma’s hand.

The sisters go to comfort Emma as well but it gets too much for her, she lets go of Eliza’s hand and pushes Alex and Kara off her. She rushes from the room and escapes back to the safety of her bed, voicelessly sobbing the whole way.

Alex presses her lips together and silently communicates with Kara. The blonde has tears gathering in her eyes and nods. They quickly get up to follow Emma. Alex grabs some bottles of water along the way and Kara carries their plates of food up. They find her curled up under the covers, Alex pulls them back, revealing Emma’s scrunched up face as she voicelessly cries.

“Oh little one.” Kara says sadly and they climb back into bed to comfort their baby sister. Kara gently pulls Emma onto her lap and Emma immediately clings to her. Kara gently rocks her back and forth while softly singing a Kryptonian lullaby. Alex scoots closer and gently strokes Emma’s face. Both wishing they could take Emma’s pain away.

Some time later Emma has calmed down and is still curled up on Kara’s lap. Alex watches with concern as Emma’s eyes become more and more empty. She tries to softly reassure her sister that everything will be okay, that they are there for her. But it seems Emma isn’t listening or can’t hear her. At some point Emma buries her head into Kara’s chest and her hair blankets her face from view. But she does take Alex’s hand, which makes the redhead want to tear up.

There is a gentle knock on the door and Alex quietly calls out for them to enter. She turns to see who it is and Sam silently comes into the room.

“Hey, how is she?” The brunette asks as softly as she can.

Alex shakes her head slightly, hating how depressed Emma has gotten and wishes she could think of a way to help her.

Deep compassion crosses Sam’s face and her shoulders sag. “Due to the sunshine we are thinking about going for a walk down to the beach.”

“Hear that Em?” Kara says gently and looks down at her sister but she is unable to see her face due to the mass of blonde, wavy hair. Alex reaches out and tenderly moves Emma’s head to face her and parts the damp hair. Her heart breaks at how dead Emma’s eyes have become.

“Would you like to go down to the beach for a bit? Get some fresh air?” Alex asks kindly but Emma’s eyes stay unfocused. “Emma?”

Suddenly Emma blinks and focuses again.

“Hey, there you are.” Alex smiles brightly at her sister. “We are going to go down to the beach for a bit, it will be good to get some fresh air, stretch our legs?”

Emma stares at Alex for a few more seconds until she hesitantly nods.

“Great, I’ll let everyone know you are coming.” Sam smiles and leaves the room.

Taking a deep breath in, Emma sluggishly lifts herself off Kara and rolls off the bed. She shakily stands to her feet and heads to her wardrobe.

“It’s a little bit chilly so dress warmly.” Alex orders before leaving to change into her own clothes.

Emma doesn’t acknowledge her and instead keeps staring at her clothes. She doesn’t even hear Kara superspeeding to the room she was sharing with Ben and changing to then rush back to her side.

“Need a little help?” Kara asks gently and Emma lowers her head in defeat, unable to decide what to wear. “Okay, well jeans, t-shirt, nice top.” Kara starts pulling the items off and laying them on the bed. “Hoodie… Do you want to wear your Supergirl hoodie or something else?”

Emma points at the wardrobe and Kara selects a baby blue, pink and orange tie dye hoodie. She helps Emma change and takes her hand to lead her downstairs. Something little Emma did when Kara first joined the family. The action isn’t lost on Kara and she somewhat feels she is repaying Emma for her unconditional kindness and love all those years ago.

“Here they are.” J’onn says with a smile and hands them their coats. He frowns at Emma’s vacant expression and tries to listen in on her thoughts, but he cannot make sense of the mass of noise coming from Emma’s mind.

Kara takes the leather jacket and puts it on Emma with the help of Robyn. Alex gets Emma’s converses and puts them on her feet with Kara helping to keep Emma steady so she doesn’t fall.

The Superfriends sadly watch and a few go outside to wait, hating seeing Emma in this state.

Lena walks further from the house and crosses her arms, she gazes at the area Diana had trapped her in. The words Diana had yelled at her as the lasso burned hotter. The utter terror and panic she felt.

“Hey.” Sam says as she comes up beside Lena, making her jump. “You okay?”

“Fine.”

“Hmm, fucked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional.” Sam lists off and a small smile graces Lena’s lips.

“Sounds about right.” She says softly.

The group emerges from the house and starts walking down to the beach. Emma is placed in the middle, being guarded from onlookers and surrounded by her friends and family. Alex and Kara link their arms with hers, which she clings to and keeps her head lowered.

Eliza and J’onn walk behind them holding hands. “Can you hear her thoughts?”

J’onn tries again but ends up shaking his head. “There’s too many thoughts jumbling together. I can’t make sense of it.”

Eliza sighs heavily, worried about her baby girl. “When can Alistair come over?”

“Tomorrow morning.” J’onn says unhappily. “If I could I’d go and get him now but he has prior commitments.”

They make their way onto the beach and Emma seems to come around as she smells the salty air. She lowers herself onto a rock and stares at the rolling waves.

For a brief moment her mind quietens and she leans down to take her converses and socks off. She rolls up her jeans and heads towards the surf, hugging her arms tightly around herself.

When her feet touch the freezing sea, Emma doesn’t even flinch. She takes deep breaths and keeps her eyes fixed on the horizon.

‘How easy would it be just to keep walking and disappear forever?’ Emma’s mind wonders quietly and her destructive thoughts start to whirl.

The tide keeps hitting her calves and rolls back out again before whooshing over her now numb feet.

But Emma stays perfectly still.

Robyn watches her best friend while sitting next to Lucy. She pulls her phone out and takes a photo, framing Emma perfectly in the middle. She lowers her phone and sadly gazes down at it.

“Robyn? You okay?” Lucy asks and the brunette gently shakes her head.

“Something’s wrong, I’ve never seen her like this. Well, she was similar but not this bad.” Her worried crystal blue eyes focus on Lucy’s before moving past her to Lena. Robyn frowns at the raven haired woman’s sorrowful expression but turns back to Emma.

They watch as Ruby takes her shoes off to stand next to Emma. When her feet hit the water she shrieks and retreats, causing Emma to spin around.

When she sees what has happened Emma’s face breaks out into a genuine smile. Ruby makes another attempt and squeaks with every footstep she takes trying to get closer to the blonde. Emma holds out her hand, which Ruby takes.

“It’s so cold!” Ruby squeals and Emma chuckles deepy. Taking pity on the teen she wades back to the shoreline and Ruby starts gathering rocks. She hands a few to Emma to throw into the ocean. Emma takes them and starts expertly skimming them out to sea, remembering the amount of times she did this with her Dad.

“How do you do that?” Ruby asks in frustration as each of her rocks slam into the water.

Emma takes her hand and manoeuvres it, showing Ruby the correct flicking motion.

“Can we be of any assistance?” Brainy asks kindly and Winn, Alya, Mary and Nia join them on the shoreline. Mary and Nia play with the tide to not get wet. Winn, trying to show some strength, allows the wave to roll over his feet. But, similar to Ruby, shrieks at how cold the water is, making Emma roll her eyes and smile.

Emma motions for them to show Ruby too. After a few tries Ruby finally skims a rock that jumps a few times before plopping into the sea.

“I did it!” Ruby yells triumphantly and Emma pulls her into a one arm hug before Ruby high fives and hugs the others.

Nia’s eyes meet Emma’s but the blonde turns back to the horizon and she takes a few deep breaths in. She feels Nia get closer but doesn’t turn to look at her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to speak to you yesterday. What happened after Brainy woke me up?” She asks quietly. “It roared ‘I am your doom’. Did you see it, did it hurt you?”

Emma nods for the first question and then shakes her head for the other, but not really wanting to communicate about the grotesque monster that had charged at her. But she couldn’t shake the image of the hateful glowing red eyes or its vengeful howl. “I will destroy you and everything you love!”

“Little one?” Kara’s voice breaks through, making Emma blink. “We’re heading back to the house.”

Emma sighs and lowers her head. Nia links arms with her as they slowly make their way back up to the beach.

“Do you want to put your shoes on?” Kara asks and Emma shakes her head, being used to walking barefoot. Especially on the path back home.

She listens to the Superfriends chatting and Lena’s laugh at a silly joke Winn had said, but her mind turns to Diana.

Absentmindedly she fiddles with the glass heart that her girl- ex had given her. A pang of grief hits her chest and her head explodes with pain, causing her to stumble into the side of a tree.

“Emma!” Alex yells and is beside her in an instant.

Emma’s vision is blurry from the tears gathering in her eyes, she voicelessly starts sobbing and slides to her knees. Unable to keep herself upright due to her overwhelming grief and pain.

‘I’m never enough.’

Hands steady her and try to rub soothingly into her arms and back. But Emma cannot hear the comforting words of her Mom and sisters. Instead she focuses on the hateful and malicious words screaming at her in her mind.

“Pathetic.”

“-keep wasting my time-”

“You are weak!”

“-what good are you-”

“Waste of space.”

“-can’t pretend to love you-”

“I don’t love you.”

“-nothing more than a distraction-”

Over and over the voices scream at her. She rocks and cries, feeling the build up behind her scrunched up eyes.

“Emma.” Lena’s calm voice whispers softly over the others.

Emma feels familiar, comforting hands take her own.

“Please hear me.” Lena’s voice pleads.

Emma continues to rock, the pain behind her eyes intensifying.

“You are enough, you’ve always been enough.” Lena whispers so tenderly.

“SHE’S LYING!” A voice yells in her mind.

“You are incredible, you light up a room as soon as you walk into it.”

“DON’T LISTEN TO HER!”

“I love everything about you. Your smile, your kind heart, the way your nose scrunches when you laugh-”

“YOU CAN’T TRUST HER!”

Emma lunges forward and lets go of Lena’s hands to tightly place them over her eyes.

She silently screams at the blinding pain in her head.

“Emma, just let go.” Lena says softly.

Emma’s hands are suddenly forced down by someone else and her eyes snap open in shock. A surge of golden heat vision blasts into a nearby boulder. It begins to glow with the intense heat and finally explodes.

Finally it dies out and Emma sways as a droplet of blood falls from her nose. She feels arms encircle her as she falls backwards. Her head rests on Alex’s shoulder and she stares blankly up at the clear blue sky.

“Em?” Alex asks worriedly.

“I believe she is okay.” Brainy says beside her and continues to analyse the blonde’s condition.

“Why did you do that?” Alex seethes at him. “You could have gotten Lena hurt.”

This catches Emma’s attention and her eyes move to Brainy before finding a clearly concerned Lena being held by Sam.

If Sam hadn't yanked Lena away before Emma’s eyes opened, there’s no telling what would have happened.

“She needs to unlock her powers, the longer she waits the more pain she is in.” Brainy explains passionately.

Kara kneels quickly next to Alex. “We should get her inside, there are people coming up the path.”

Alex nods and glances down at an exhausted Emma. But what worries her more is how her sister’s eyes have glazed over. “Can you carry her?”

Kara nods, carefully placing her hands under her baby sister and gently lifts her up. They walk quietly to the house where Kara places Emma on one of the sofas in the back room.

Alex gets a cold, wet cloth and diligently starts cleaning the tears and blood off of Emma’s face.

“Em? Can you hear me?” Alex asks softly but Emma keeps staring ahead, unable to break out of her thoughts.

After Alex finishes her task she carefully lifts her sister’s torso, supporting her neck and sits down, resting Emma’s head on her lap. She tries communicating with her sister again but Emma continues to stare off into the distance.

“Do you wanna play UNO?” Ruby asks hopefully, holding the pack up.

“Have you asked anyone else?” Alex asks and Ruby nods.

“They are all up for a few games.” Ruby answers and glances down at Emma. “Em, do you wanna play?”

But Emma doesn’t acknowledge her.

“What’s wrong with her?” Ruby asks with wide eyes.

“She’s resting, do you remember how tired you got after our first training session?”

Ruby nods.

“Well Em’s been thrown in the deep end and it’s taking more of a toll on her. She’ll be okay.” Alex says and strokes Emma's hair. “Why don’t you clear the coffee table and we can play around that?”

Ruby does so and the Superfriends gather around. Kara, Ben and Lucy sit in front of the sofa so they wouldn’t have to jostle Emma to have her lie on their laps.

They manage to enjoy the games and a few hours pass. Alex periodically looks down to check on Emma, but she hasn’t moved or made any noise. Soon a light dinner is served and Alex tries to get Emma to respond about eating. But her eyes remain glazed over. The Superfriends chat amongst themselves, Kara and Alex watch as Lucy and Robyn continue to get more and more cosy with each other.

Kara raises an eyebrow at her sister when Emma suddenly takes a big intake of breath, causing Alex’s head to snap down at her sister.

Slowly Emma’s hazel green eyes focus and she blinks up at a worried looking Alex.

“Hey, we really must stop meeting like this.” Alex jokes but Emma stares up at her blankly, making Alex frown.

“Sweetheart?” Eliza comes over to see her youngest daughter. “Would you like something to eat?”

Emma’s eyes sluggishly move over to her Mom but she makes no motion of what she wants.

“You need to eat, Peanut.” Alex says as she runs her hand through Emma’s hair.

“I’ll make you a grilled cheese.” Eliza decides and heads to the kitchen.

Kara pops up onto her knees and gazes down at her sister. “Hello there!” She says like Obi-Wan, hoping to get a reaction from Emma. The blonde slightly grins but it doesn’t reach her eyes. However, this was enough for Kara and Alex.

Eliza brings the grilled cheese and Pepsi Max can over. Her sisters help Emma to sit up, but she only manages to eat half of it.

They start playing UNO again and Emma seems to pull herself out of her slump. She smiles and jokes along and manages to win a few rounds. Soon a couple of hours have passed.

“How do you do that?!” Winn yells as Emma goes out again. She lightly grins and shrugs.

Alex yawns beside her and shakes her head to stay awake.

“I think we need to all head to bed early tonight.” Eliza comments and mostly everyone agrees.

“Ah noooo!” Ruby whines. “I’m so close to figuring out Emma’s strategy!”

Emma winks at her before getting to her feet. She hugs each Superfriend goodnight, holding on to each of them a bit longer than normal, even with Lena and heads up to bed with her sisters.

“You can go sleep in your own beds, I will be fine.” Emma signs but Alex and Kara shake their heads in sync.

“We are not leaving you, little one.” Kara pulls Emma into a hug to try and reassure her sister.

“Yea, we’d rather be here for you.” Alex confirms and heads into the bathroom to brush her teeth.

Emma nods and changes into her long, plaid pyjama bottoms and tank top. She goes to brush her teeth after Alex, crawls onto the bed and gets under the covers.

Her body is tense and restless. Her mind whirls in agony and she just wants it to end.

She lies flat on her back and waits for Alex and Kara to say goodnight to their partners. They come back and lay down either side of her. Alex turns the light off and Kara turns her dampeners on. They curl into Emma and fall straight to sleep, having been exhausted from the past few days.

But Emma stays awake as tears build up in her eyes before slowly dripping down the sides of her face.

After an hour she hears that both Kara and Alex are in a deep sleep. Their grip becomes lax and Emma carefully climbs out of the bed. She silently changes back into her clothes and writes a note, placing it on Alex’s side of the bed by the light.

Getting onto her knees she quietly pulls out the bag of alcohol and finds that only Kara’s alien alcohol is left. She grabs her backpack and puts in as many bottles as it can take.

Heading over to the window Emma looks over her sisters one last time and listens out to everyone in the house. Her hearing focuses on Lena’s light snores until she turns and silently opens the window. She carefully climbs out and slides the window shut. Pressing her hand on the glass, she takes a deep breath in and turns to jump down to the ground below.

Landing lightly she takes off into the night towards the forest, finding she can see perfectly in the darkness.

Her mind whirls as she runs and with each step the voices grow louder. With each step her resolve grows stronger.

Finally she makes it to her and Alex’s spot. The moonlight shines brightly on the cliff and Emma sits on the all too familiar boulder where she and Alex have had many talks.

Taking her backpack off Emma takes a bottle out, opens it and drinks. Wanting to numb the emotional turmoil she is feeling, hoping it will quiet the voices screaming in her mind.

But they continue to loudly point out her flaws, her weaknesses, her failings.

She repeats the process of gulping the alcohol down and opens new bottles, feeling the buzz surge through her body.

‘Never enough, weak, failure, disappointment, distraction.’ On and on Emma’s mind battles against her.

She taps the bottle and hears the clinging it makes. She lifts her hand and notices her many rings and bracelets that Diana had bought for her. She remembers each and every time Diana presented them to her. The smiles, the kisses, the endless hours of sex, the whispered I love yous.

Finishing the bottle she slams it beside her, smashing it to pieces and starts ripping off the jewellery Diana gave her. She goes for the necklace first, snapping it off her neck and flings it to the ground. Next are the rings before she rips the bracelets off one at a time. She gets to the last one, Ruby’s woven friendship bracelet and she halts.

Unable to break it she sniffs and looks at the carnage she has caused. The memories that are now broken and scattered on the rocky surface.

Her face scrunches up as tears fill her eyes. Sobs erupt from her mouth and she lifts her head back, bawling in utter agony.

Collapsing to her knees Emma punches the rock over and over while she cries. Having the satisfaction of feeling the cliff face vibrate with each punch. Her eyes burn and she allows the heat vision to spark to life. Carving deeply into the rock.

Finally it flares out and Emma collapses forward, feeling the rock on the cliff edge shift.

‘Please, just break, take me with you.’ Emma begs. ‘I don’t want to live anymore, I don't want to feel this pain.’

Emma sobs and pulls at her hair. The torment of her heart and mind becoming too much for her to handle.

– – –

Alex jumps awake. Something woke her up. She glances at the illuminated bedside clock and sees it has gone six in the morning.

Yawning, she reaches out for Emma but feels cold sheets behind her. Spinning round she notices that Emma isn’t between herself and Kara anymore.

She turns the light on and notices the note by the light.

“Mmmm, Al?” Kara whines out from being woken up by the light and covers her eyes with her hands.

‘I’m sorry.’

Alex’s blood turns to ice as she rereads the note. Something was wrong with Emma. She jumps up and sprints downstairs to grab her shoes and a hoodie. Ignoring Kara’s yells she races out of the house to find her sister.

Alex’s heart pounds as she runs through the forest and instinctively follows the path to their spot.

‘Please be there. Please be there.’ Her mind screams repeatedly.

Finally she makes it to the top of the cliff and her heart breaks at the sight of her sister kneeling on the ground with bottles scattered around her. Alex can clearly see Emma’s shoulders are shaking from her cries.

“Em.” Alex gasps mournfully, rushing to kneel in front of Emma with her back to the cliff edge and flings her arms around her. “I’m here, I got you.”

She feels Emma jump but she buries her wet face into the crook of Alex’s neck while her tears continue to fall.

“Just breathe for me, okay?” Alex says softly, trying to calm her sister. Eventually Emma takes a deep breath, pulls away from Alex’s arms and rubs her eyes before signing.

“Please leave me alone.”

“No, I am not leaving you.” Alex says passionately. “Look, I know I cannot fully understand what you are going through but I am not going to abandon you, not again. Please, I can’t live without you.” Alex’s voice breaks and tears roll down her face, her chin quivers. “Please listen to me.” She implores, seeing Emma was struggling to believe her. “I am so sorry for what I did. For allowing us to get caught and for hurting you, for killing you, for taking your voice away. I have to live with that pain everyday and those months when you were gone, I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think and the moment I saw you again-” Alex sobs and rests her forehead against Emma’s. “The moment I saw you again-” Alex lifts her head fully to gaze into Emma’s bloodshot eyes. “Was like taking a gulp of air after drowning. I feel whole again and I cannot ever imagine not having you here with me.”

Emma's face scrunches up with emotion and more tears fall.

“I love you. I love you so much and I will not let you down again. Not again. You hear me? I won’t let you down again.” She pulls Emma back into a hug and hears Emma’s ragged breathing. “We will work this out together. I promise. I love you so much.”

She feels Emma slowly lift her arms and hug her back.

“Please Em. Please keep fighting” Alex cries out.

Suddenly Emma pulls back and starts rocking, clearly in pain.

“Em? What’s wrong?” Alex asks but then can see the golden, glowing light behind Emma’s scrunched up eyelids.

‘Heat Vision.’ She thinks in alarm.

But Emma starts to panic and tries to blindly get away from her sister.

“Emma! It’s okay!” Alex pleads but Emma has managed to stumble to her feet. Causing herself to be dangerously close to the edge, terrifying Alex that she will fall. “Please Em!”

Alex stands and grabs Emma’s shoulder. The blonde jumps and her eyes snap open. A golden beam shoots from her eyes and hits the rock beneath them. Alex watches in horror as the cliff crumbles away and she starts falling to the ground far below them.

Alex screams loudly and Emma tumbles with her.

The redhead's life flashes before her eyes. Her regrets taking centre stage, not getting to marry Sam, being a Mom to Ruby. Making things right for Emma.

Emma.

Dark eyes connect with panicked hazel green. Alex tries to reach out for her sister but time is going too quickly. The wind whistles deafening past her ears as gravity pulls them ever closer to the ground. Despite this, Alex just keeps her eyes focused on her sister.

She watches as a determined look crosses Emma’s face and she reaches for Alex. She lunges forward and manages to grab a tight hold of her hoodie. Alex latches onto Emma’s arm and prepares herself for the end.

Suddenly they stop.

But there is no impact.

Alex quickly looks below them. They are still over fifty feet above the ground. The redhead looks around for Kara, Sam or J’onn. But there is only Emma.

“Em?!” Alex gasps out, realising that Emma is hovering. Emma reaches down with her other hand to get a firmer grip on her sister.

“Alex?! Emma?!” Kara’s voice yells out in terror within the forest, having heard Alex’s scream.

The redhead turns her head to the noise, Kara, Sam, J’onn, Eliza, Brainy, Nia, Lucy, Robyn, Winn and Lena appear in the clearing below. All gaping up at them.

Alex slowly turns her head back up to Emma. Who looks frightened and pale. “Em?” Alex asks softly, although her grip is like a vice on Emma’s arms. “Can you lower us back to the ground?”

The blonde bites her lips and looks at the forest floor.

But nothing happens.

“Peanut?”

Emma shakes her head as they stay hovering in place. She is worried that if she moves they will drop quickly. And at this height Alex could be seriously hurt or killed.

Emma looks back down at the ground, at the Superfriends. She feels the panic and guilt inside her growing steadily and she begins to shake, jolting Alex.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Look at me. Focus on me.” Alex says soothingly, recognising Emma’s distress.

Emma’s wide eyes snap back to Alex’s calm ones.

“Erm, are you guys gonna come down soon?” Kara yells up at her sisters, itching to fly up to them. She’s constantly listening for the nearby early morning hikers, praying they don’t head this way.

“Em?” Alex searches Emma’s face and she shakes her head again.

“I don’t know how.” Emma mouths, hoping Alex understands her.

Alex nods at what Emma has mouthed and she carefully turns her head sideways to the ground. Keeping her eyes on her baby sister, who tightens her hold on her clothes. “She doesn’t know how to.” Alex calls down to them but an idea enters her mind. “Kara, Sam, can you fly up here?”

A whoosh and the two are beside them. J’onn positions himself under the group, just in case he needs to catch them. Brainy joins him as well as Ben and Winn.

“Hey.” Sam says gently with a warm smile. “Little stuck?”

Emma barely nods, her muscles are extremely tense and her breathing shallow.

“Okay, well give me Alex and-”

“No!” Alex says firmly.

“Alex.” Kara responds tightly and Emma frowns at her oldest sister.

“We need to help train her.” Alex explains and turns to look Emma right in the eyes. “Why not start now?”

Emma scrunches her face up and shakes her head.

“Hey, hey.” Alex says softly and rubs Emma’s arm. “I trust you. Nothing bad is going to happen. We have plenty of superheroes who are ready to catch us.” Alex says jokingly but Emma stares brokenly back at her. “Can you explain to Emma how to levitate down?” Alex asks Kara and Sam.

“Sure, er, I basically imagine myself floating down. Like when you want to swim down in a pool.” Sam lowers herself before rising back up again.

Emma nods and concentrates. Sam and Kara ready themselves in case Emma suddenly falls. Kara remembers the amount of times she plummeted to the ground when she was honing her powers. But no matter how many times she fell, Emma was always there to encourage her to try again.

“Little one?” Kara speaks gently, causing Emma’s fear filled eyes to snap to hers. “Do you feel stuck?”

Emma nods, the movement jostling her and Alex, making Emma’s eyes widen even more in fear. Her knuckles turn white with how tight her grip is on Alex. It is a wonder how the fabric doesn’t rip.

“Hey, stay calm. You’re alright.” Kara reaches out and places a hand on Emma’s tense shoulder. “Do you remember when we went rock climbing?”

Emma nods, her eyes flickering back to Kara’s.

“And when you went up against the destroyer?” Kara asks and Emma nods. “That was one of the hardest to overcome and you spent ages trying over and over again to do it?”

Emma nods, remembering the moment of triumph she felt when she touched the buzzer but also the extreme exhaustion that overtook her.

“And then when you succeeded you didn’t have the strength to get back down?”

Alex swallows as she listens. Remembering that day well and how proud she was of Emma’s determination.

“And I told you to just let go and let the ropes do the work?” Alex asks encouragingly, seeing where Kara was going with this.

Emma looks down at Alex as tears prick her eyes.

“You were so scared the ropes would snap. But they didn’t.” Kara says. “Our powers are like those ropes. You have to trust them and your own ability.” She says, trying to implore her sister.

Emma’s eyes glance at Kara, Sam and back down to Alex who nods, giving her a small, reassuring smile.

“You can do this. I trust you.”

“You got this Emma!” Robyn’s voice yells up and a few of the Superfriends cheer along with her. Eliza and Lena hold on tightly to each other as they hold their breaths.

Sam and Kara lower themselves slightly underneath the sisters. Holding their arms out to reassure the blonde that they will catch them if they have to.

Emma fixes her gaze on Alex and breathes deeply. Closing her eyes Emma imagines them floating slowly to the ground and tries to trust in it.

“That’s it Peanut!” Alex’s voice makes Emma snap open her eyes and she watches the ground getting closer. The feelings of floating down is indescribable and for a moment Emma wonders what it’s like to really fly. Not just fall with style.

Eventually Alex is able to straighten out and her feet shakily touch the ground. Emma lets go of her and floats a bit away from her.

“Oh Alex!” Eliza grabs onto her daughter and holds her so tight it is a wonder Alex doesn’t snap in half.

“Mom, I'm okay.” Alex hugs her Mom back and watches Emma as she touches down nearby. Relief fills her that they are both okay and she holds her Mom tighter.

Emma gazes mournfully at them, the thrill of hovering leaves her and she looks up at the over two hundred foot cliff edge above them. She can clearly see where it had broken away and her head lowers down to where there are huge boulders of rocks at the bottom. Tears well up in her eyes at the realisation of what would have happened if her powers hadn’t kicked in.

She almost killed Alex.

Overwhelming guilt and grief ploughs into her causing her to stumble backwards, away from the Superfriends.

‘I need to leave, need to run, need to disappear, just going to hurt them, I can’t hurt them-’

J’onn’s head snaps to hers but before Emma can bolt he quickly wraps his arms around her torso, pinning her arms to her side.

‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just can’t- I can’t do this anymore. Why won’t the pain stop? When will it end? Please, I don’t want to be here anymore, I don’t want to live another moment.’

Emma’s destructive thoughts scream out while she thrashes against him, trying to break free from his grip.

“Sweetheart?” Eliza asks in concern and almost gets hit by her daughter’s frailing head.

“Eliza, stay back!” J’onn grunts out and Eliza walks back, placing her hands over her mouth. Kara and Sam spring forward to keep Emma from breaking free.

“Little one, calm down.” Kara tries to plead with her sister. But she can see Emma’s eyes are glazed over.

‘Not enough! Never enough! Unlovable! selfish-’

“Nia!” J’onn yells for the brunette when Emma almost pushes the trio off her. “Sedate her! Now!”

Nia sprints over. “Hold her head!”

Sam and Kara do so and Nia quickly places her hands on Emma’s temples.

Suddenly Emma’s eyes roll back into her head and she goes slack in J’onn’s arms.

Everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

Suddenly a crash of thunder echoes in the distance, making some look up at the darkening sky.

“We better go.” J’onn carefully reaches down and gently lifts Emma into his arms. Kara and Sam help him and gaze sadly down at the unconscious blonde.

J’onn starts walking back towards the house as more thunder rumbles in the distance and the others start to follow in grievous silence.

Lena gazes sorrowfully at Emma when J’onn passes her. She had woken immediately to Alex charging down the stairs and Kara’s yells. Jumping to her feet she rushed from the room to find out what had happened along with everyone else.

Dread had surged through Lena as she followed Kara and Sam while they tracked the sisters’ heartbeats. The moment she heard Alex’s scream she feared the worst but when she charged through the clearing and saw Emma and Alex hovering high in the air. Her mind froze. She watched with bated breath as Emma shook in fear but eventually levitated down.

Intrigued, she turns her head towards the broken boulders scattered around them. She looks up at the gigantic cliff and notes the broken cliff edge. A cliff edge that is pure rock.

Realisation crashes into her, rock doesn’t simply crumble away like that. The implications fill Lena with absolute horror, causing her legs to buckle. Her knees hit the ground heavily and she gulps for air, unable to comprehend a world without Emma in it.

A glint of metal catches her eyes and she reaches for it. She tries to calm her breathing and picks up a necklace with what looks to be a shattered glass heart.

“Symbolic.” She mutters sadly and notices other pieces of jewellery and glass bottles scattered around.

“Lee?” Alex says gently behind her and Lena lowers her head as she stands. “Come on, we need to head back.” Alex reaches for Lena’s hand that is not holding the necklace and squeezes it.

“I did this.” Lena whispers brokenly, causing Alex to step around her.

“We all did.” Alex’s voice breaks and she swallows deeply. “But right now we need to work together to fix it, to help Emma get out of the pit she’s in and believe she is enough.”

Lena shakes her head as tears fall from her eyes. “I should go, leave National City, get out of her life and-”

Alex pulls the raven haired woman into a hug. “That would be the worst thing you could do and you know it.”

“Al? Lee?” Sam calls nearby and the friends pull apart but Alex keeps her hands on Lena’s shoulders.

“You need to tell her.” Alex says reassuringly.

“I don’t deserve to.”

“Let her decide that.” Alex wipes the tears from Lena’s face and takes her hand. Lena quickly composes herself and takes a deep breath.

“Al? Lee?” Sam steps out in the clearing. “A storm is headed this way, we need to leave.”

The pair nod and rush over to the brunette. They quickly walk back to the house in silence, they manage to make it before the rain surges through the trees and the echoes of thunder crash overhead.

They enter the back room and Lena searches for Emma, expecting the blonde to be on one of the sofas.

“She’s in the office with Alistair and Lily.” Kara explains and Lena nods. Her throat feels tight as she tries to hold back the sobs that want to erupt from her lips. “Hey, hey.” Kara coos and pulls her best friend into a hug. Lena can’t hold back anymore and she softly cries into Kara’s shoulder.

“Oh honey.” Eliza murmurs softly and places a comforting hand on Lena’s shoulder. Kara lets Lena go and immediately Lena turns towards Eliza, falling into her motherly embrace. “We’ll get her through this.”

The radio plays softly in the background and a lyric catches everyone’s attention, giving them hope.

"It's always darkest before the dawn."

(Sixty)

[reidsaurora]

babes are you okay?? why you have surgery? (if you're okay with me asking ofc) :(

hi, rups!!! thank you so much for checking in! i am so sorry i'm just now getting a chance to answer this, it's been a long and busy day for sure 🤣❤️

i was gonna say long story short but i feel like there's just no way to tell this story in a short version so buckle up! there will probably be a lot of reading 🤣 also i'm gonna highlight the important words just in case that will help to explain the important parts of this extremely long story 💀

so back in 2015, i got diagnosed with crohn's disease, which is basically where you can inflammation anywhere in the lining of your digestive tract, so anywhere from your mouth to your booty. mine has always been throughout different places in the digestive tract.

that being said, very soon after my crohn's diagnosis, i was diagnosed with something called hidradenitis suppurativa, which is basically just a bunch of lumps and tunnels in the skin... and they can pop up anywhere. the armpits, the sweat glands, the underboobs, the 🐱 area... yeah, anywhere. and i was blessed with the ones in ✨️the land down under✨️

so, i've had all these lumps and tunnels for over seven years. some of them have calmed down, some have popped up in new places (my armpits are now involved but that's a different story for a different day), and some of them unfortunately turned into fistulas. according to Google (just bc it's kinda hard for me to describe on my own), a fistula is basically a connection/tunnel through an organ to either another organ or the skin.

i have two fistulas, one from my 🐱 area to the rectum (i think, everything's been such a haze, i'm having trouble remembering how all this works), and then one from the skin to the ah noos (pls lmk if i need to explain this joke or if you get it 💀).

all that being said, i had to have something called a seton placed in both of these fistulas. a seton (i've been told) is sort of like a really thin rubber band that goes throughout the fistula like a tube to keep it open and draining, in hopes of drying up everything in the fistula to hopefully close it off in the future.

some setons are placed there for weeks to months. however, my surgeon has told me that because of how advanced my fistulas are (because one of them has been there for a couple years and we didn't have the money because medical expenses are awful in america), it may take longer than that for mine to heal. his hopes (yes... i had a grown man stick his fingers in my unmentionables 🥲) are that this is not the case, but he did warn me just in case that does happen.

the good news is that i've FINALLY!!! found a new gastroenterologist (the dudes that check up on the crohn's related stuff) after moving out of peds (the kiddo docs) over a year ago. i've met this doc twice and i already love him. he's so kind and so attentive and extremely smart, just an all around great doctor. anyway, he is extremely knowledgeable about my situation and fistula care and all that jazz so i have lots of hope that he will be able to help me through this, as well as my surgeon. my surgeon is also an amazing guy and is extremely good at his job as well.

now, to make a long story short. i had to have emergency surgery because fistulas are awful in the first place and mine are apparently even worse.

again, thank you so very much for checking in! if any of you guys have any other questions, feel free to send me an ask or a DM! i would love to help out as much as i can!

also! my wonderful friend @reidsbookclub (who is a medical student btw!!) has said that she could answer anyone's questions that i could not answer, if you guys have any questions about this procedure medical-wise that she might have more knowledge on. thank you so much, grecy! 💛

lastly, i would like to thank you again, rups for checking in on me! i honestly was just using this as a way to rant, i was never expecting anyone to see it on their tl or even read it because there's been a lot of lengthy, annoying posts about it at this point 🤣

so thank you for checking up and seeing if i was ok! i think i will be with time ❤️

[appleflavoredkitkats]

Analysis of the “Fundy’s Mind” Stream: A Showcase of Repressed Memories and Repressed Insecurities

i. INTRODUCTION

Hi! This is going to be… something. Funny how I focus on this rather than my research homework, but I have a MASSIVE Fundy brain rot right now and I’d love to share my thoughts on Fundy’s newest stream. Fair warning, I am not the Messiah, so don’t take everything as fact. I’m open to constructive and objective discussions in replies or in DM’s, so feel free to hmu!

All of this is /dsmp and /rp by the way!

Heavy trigger warnings for derealization, parental neglect, neglect in general, self-deprecation, self-neglect, low self-esteem, death, manipulation, abandonment, loneliness, trust issues, torture mention, blood mention, and broken friendships.

Word Count: Approximately 10k.

ii. PRE-LIVESTREAM ASPECTS

Before we begin deep diving into the mind of Fundy, I do want to emphasize two major themes of this stream: 1.) Fundy’s insecurities, especially when it comes to abandonment and trust, and 2.) Fundy’s future predicting abilities. A ton (but not all) of statements uttered by the books and Fundy himself tend to have double meanings that apply to both of these themes. 

We can further discuss the future predicting powers later, but to give a little background on Fundy’s insecurities: Fundy is notorious for heavily depending his self-worth on the recognition other people give him. Despite his immaturity, a lot of Fundy’s character is rooted in being heavily underestimated. This could be observed during the Pet Wars when his safety was constantly being threatened by Sapnap, inevitably making him lose a duel against him. Another way we can see this is through Wilbur’s early treatment of Fundy where he constantly infantilized him because Wilbur believed Fundy was a child incapable of being independent. This caused Fundy to appeal a lot to any type of compliment from any person- it began with Quackity ensuring him that he will gift him a lot of cookies if he votes SWAG2020, then to Schlatt complimenting him to the point that Fundy almost gave up on spying and siding with Pogtopia, then to the Butcher Army where he unhesitantly followed Tubbo and Quackity’s lead no matter how many times they made fun of him. While he revels in any type of recognition given, oftentimes, those who seem to care for Fundy tend to leave after he grows attached to them; first with Wilbur, then Niki, then Schlatt, then Eret and Phil, then Tubbo, Ranboo, and Quackity. In the Dream SMP, Fundy is very lonely and has dealt with abandonment issues left and right, but typically, he never does anything with his loneliness, as the last time he lashed out against someone who left him, nothing positive really came out of it (this is when he got mad at Ghostbur). 

(Everything else is under the cut! I worked so hard on this, so please read it if you can, it’d mean a lot!)

So, with all that laid out, I want you to keep this all in mind as it is important for understanding why Fundy feels the way he does in the stream.

Now, let’s begin the analysis. First off, I believe it is important to denote the title and the tags of the stream. The stream is titled “Fundy’s Mind”, so we have to denote that this isn’t merely a dream sequence- the stream is meant to explore the complexity of Fundy’s mind. This includes his thoughts, insecurities, repressed memories, and so on and so forth. Additionally, the stream is tagged “Permadeath”, something different from what Fundy typically tags his streams. There is no clear explanation as to what this could mean, but the possibilities are:

It is hinting that the death system in the Dream SMP could be rigged, and someone is messing with the semantics of death and how it works.

It is hinting that someone will face a permanent death, and most fingers are pointed at Fundy as this is his stream. If not a permanent death, he might at least lose one of his canon lives which was hinted later on in the stream (will discuss later).

It is hinting that he was killed by the end of the dream. Not really a solid theory as we don’t actually know the repercussions of killing someone who is actively dreaming, but it is a possibility.

iii. PROLOGUE

A thing to question at the beginning of the stream is if the entire introduction was part of the dream or not. Seeing how Fundy has the same inventory from this to the next scene, it is plausible, but I don’t think it provides anything if it were a dream. 

Anyway, other things to denote are Fundy’s hotbar! First noticeable thing would be the 38 baked potatoes. The website angelnumber.org explains that 38 means:

“The combination of these two numbers makes the number 38 a number which signifies joy and optimism, courage, finding creative ways to materialize abundance, reality, etc.

The essence of the number 38 in numerology are different kind of relationships, such as romantic ones, business partnerships, teamwork, cooperation, diplomacy, etc.

Number 38 people have a talent for dealing with people in a caring and creative way. They are born team-workers. They need interaction with other people to fully enjoy their lives. They are usually optimistic and have a gift of inspiring others to action.”

So far, the number 38 is viewed to be positive. It signifies financial success and cooperativeness, which is interesting if Fundy’s future arc potentially ties to working with Quackity. To further add onto symbolisms regarding success, dreamastromeanings.com says the following:

“If you dreamed of baking or roasting potatoes, that dream is a good sign. It usually indicates your finances increasing over time.

Possibly you have made some investments and now you are beginning to reap the fruits of your efforts and risky activities.”

or,

“If you dreamed of holding a potato in your hand, that dream is a bit of a warning. You might soon receive some lucrative opportunity, possibly work related.

It is advisable to think fast and accept it because you might not get a second chance.

It could also indicate that you are a bit lazy when it comes to taking chances and missing opportunities because of that.”

Both explanations refer to business opportunities and possible investments. If we combine both the explanation for the number 38 and carrying potatoes, we can assume that Fundy will be receiving a business opportunity that would be too good to miss. These explanations also imply that nothing too negative would occur, but instead, Fundy can achieve success through this business opportunity. The only arcs in the Dream SMP which I think could provide a business opportunity would either be 1.) a new warden at the prison, 2.) new member at Snowchester (low odds), but the most likely occurrence would be 3.) Quackity offers him a position at Las Nevadas. With the Quackity smiley face at the end of Fundy’s stream, we can safely believe that the job opportunity at Las Nevadas would be the most likely occurrence.

Another explanation for this is that because the 38 potatoes were brought from the seemingly real world, it could possibly pertain to something that had already happened in the past. This could possibly allude to L’Manberg, especially when the explanations behind 38 potatoes are presented to be more positive, something the current Las Nevadas arc isn’t.

Second thing to notice about the hotbar: Fundy is currently at level 5, with his EXP bar 1/18 filled. To reach level 5, one has to gain 55 EXP, and to reach level 6, one would need to gain an extra 17 EXP. If the bar is merely 1/18 filled, 1/18 of 17 would be 0.94, which when rounded off, is 1. Add 1 to the extra 55, and we would approximately get 56 EXP. The website angelnumber.org says the following:

“The number 56 symbolizes teamwork, coexistence, family, relationships, adventure and expression of freedom.

Number 56 people have diverse interests, some of which they have an in-depth knowledge of and some just general understanding.

They try different approaches in relationships, trying to keep them alive. If everything they’ve tried fails, they simply walk to another relationship.”

This could mean a lot of things. The second sentence could imply that Fundy doesn’t fully comprehend the complexity of his mind. Some parts, he may understand, some, he does not at all. This could imply that there are also more secrets hiding in his mind that we couldn’t get to see. The third sentence is more interesting as Fundy’s entire character arc involves him and his broken relationships with other people. It’s a quite accurate description of Fundy, describing how he desperately tries anything to make a relationship work, and if it fails, he could easily befriend other people even if there is a possibility that that relationship would fail like the previous. 

If we ignore the number of EXP, we can merely focus on the number 5, which means the following:

“When angels are sending you number 5, they want to encourage you to have hope and to be ready to accept all the changes that are coming. Also, if number 5 has appeared just at the moment when you have been thinking about something important in your life, this number could be the answer or the solution for your problems. You should pay attention to number 5 and think of its secret meanings.

If number 5 keeps appearing by your side, it means that changes are already happening in your life. If they have not happened yet, don’t worry. They are on the way and you will feel them in the next couple of days or weeks.”

This can be connected to both the EXP number and the stream as a whole as Fundy begins to accept the gravity of his abandonment issues instead of suppressing his negative feelings towards it. Throughout the stream, Fundy is shown rejecting the idea that he is being neglected by others, but by the second half of the stream, he rejects it less and less. This could be the change the explanation is referring to as Fundy realizing his negative feelings towards his abandonment issues are valid and he needs to take them more seriously rather than brushing them aside. 

With number symbolisms finally aside, we can begin analyzing the actual sequences! Fundy is seen to be approaching his “Not A Secret” Base with a sigh, asking chat if they can go to sleep so that he can go to sleep too. Fundy immediately doubts the possibility of the others in the server following through his request until Ranboo responds with a simple “okay” while Niki responds with “yiss, am asleep”. Fundy quickly flashes the members list on the screen, showing us that only Niki and Ranboo are online on the server before he showcases his new bed, claiming that he likes it.

Two interesting notes about this: 1.) he decides to sleep, which is odd enough in the Dream SMP, and 2.) him having three new beds despite only using one of them. For the first point, I’d like to refer you to what Fundy said at around 26:08:

“I just gotta sleep and then, it’s gonna disappear! And then everyone is gonna appear out of a bush and they’re gonna be ‘Surprise!’, and I’m gonna be like, ‘You guys…! You’re always pranking me, you’ve always been there for me. Every single time… except sometimes… when I needed you the most.’ I just go to bed, I just go to bed, and none of this ever happened.”

While I understand that he is referring to the dream, I also believe that this statement would be one of those types I mentioned earlier that may have a double meaning. While “I just go to bed,” could refer to him wanting to sleep and wake up from this horrific dream, it could also refer to how he easily shuts down to his abandonment issues and goes to bed instead of handling it head first. Knowing this, him going to bed in the first scene could imply that he is in this type of  abandonment predicament, especially when we connect it to the second point. The color orange is meant to represent joy and warmth, and even without the symbolism, we all know orange is Fundy’s favorite color. He sees these three beds and says that he likes them, but I can’t help but feel like the other two beds are meant for two other people. I don’t think Niki and Ranboo being the only other two people on the server is coincidental; they have to relate to the two extra beds in some way.

Niki and Ranboo are two prime examples of close friends Fundy had before breaking off after a misunderstanding. Niki fought with Fundy after he had to burn the flag she made in order to gain Schlatt’s trust, while Fundy fought with Ranboo after Doomsday when they had conflicting beliefs about neutrality and sides. After both incidents, Fundy never really made his way to apologize, but Fundy has awkwardly met up with these two after a certain point. With Niki, he was forced to team with her at the beginning of the November 16th War, joking around with her and Eret, while for Ranboo, Fundy had to talk to him and Philza when they were joking around in the SMP. The meet ups definitely relieved some tension, but it never fully resolved the conflict Fundy had with both characters, so there was never a chance for him to rekindle the close bonds he had with both Ranboo and Niki in the past.

Fundy going to his favorite beds with two extra spots next to him could represent how he does cherish the friendships he shared with Niki and Ranboo, but never has the guts to actually bring back things the way that they were before. So, instead, Fundy sleeps, not wanting to think about them any further.

iv. FIRST DAY

When he wakes, Fundy checks his inventory before exiting his base, saying “Uhm, I don’t actually-” until he cuts himself off once he spots the desert. I don’t actually know what Fundy was supposed to say here, but because he checked his inventory beforehand, I believe he was trying to say “I don’t actually know where my things are,” but I could be wrong. To be fair, this isn’t too important, so we don’t have to focus on that. What we can focus on is the misplaced desert that was obviously not there before Fundy slept. We can easily infer what deserts could symbolize in dreams, especially when it comes to loneliness and the feeling of being deserted, but for better insight, consider what dreamstop.com claims about deserts:

“A dream of a desert is about something that is devoid of any feelings or care for you. It is all about them and nothing about you. Does someone show you a lack of respect? Is there someone or something in your life you dislike and adds no meaning to your life? Do you feel invisible? That no-one cares about you? Deserts represent an empty, barren place you may be trying to fill.

Desert dreams may appear when a relationship or friendship breaks down, or when you feel totally alone. You may have moved recently and have not yet made friends. You may feel homesick for all you left behind.

Being lost in a desert refers to your feelings that a situation is hopeless. You may have a problem you feel no-one cares about, even though you tried to reach out. You may feel there was no support and are feeling hurt and alone.”

You don’t need much analyzing to connect these meanings to what Fundy is experiencing. The setting of a “desert” merely pads the idea of Fundy being incredibly lonely to the point of him believing that he has nothing left to lose. Back in Doomsday, he was an optimistic nihilist, claiming that he doesn’t care much about what occurs from this point onwards as long as he can have a little bit of fun. On the stream where he created the Cube, he claimed that most people hated him anyway, so the least he could do was to make himself so hateable so other people could unite together in their hatred of Fundy even if it meant Fundy would have no companions left. Let it be known: Fundy is incredibly, incredibly lonely, and he is miserable in his loneliness, especially when his self-worth depends on how much people recognize him.

Another thing this desert could be eluding to would be Las Nevadas as it is set in the desert. I do think the desert’s main purpose is to showcase Fundy’s loneliness, but the connection to Las Nevadas is plausible.

Additionally, the dark skies Fundy sees doesn’t really need much of an explanation either. I couldn’t find a website exactly defining what it means to find a dark sky, but most of them speak of it as a negative thing, often symbolizing something terrible to come. I don’t think I need to explain that part, so we’re moving on.

Fundy is, understandably, very confused about this entire predicament. He quickly moves around his base to figure out what is going on, even messaging in chat to see if anyone would respond. Climbing up the ladders, he stands atop his base, spotting the silhouette of the Camarvan from afar. He continues to be confused, claiming he has no idea why he’s here in the first place. He claims he is “freaking out”, continuing to ask questions about where he is, and why the sky turns dark. He denotes that he isn’t at least completely alone as bunnies swarm around the desert. He begins to follow this sandstone path, every few blocks or so passing a fence with a torch stood atop it.

Here, we can infer that Fundy seems to have never seen this place before, or has no recollection of it entirely. Fundy doesn’t seem to be immensely freaked out just yet, especially since he hasn’t asked any questions about how no one is there, mostly focusing on his location and asking what the place is about.

Fundy then asks why the van is here, then zooms in on the nametags he sees at the back of the van. It is notable that something nametagged “Fundy” is shorter than another thing that is nametagged “WilburSoot”. Fundy tries to reach out for them but is unable to enter the van.

We can easily infer that this scene was meant to represent Fundy’s childhood in L’Manberg when he was being taken care of by Wilbur. Despite the lack of silhouettes, we can easily determine that Fundy is young in this scene because of how his nametag is in a much lower position next to Wilbur's, implying that whoever owns that nametag is much shorter. We can denote that by the beginning of the L’Manbergian Revolutionary War, Fundy was, in fact, a child. 

Another question some of you might ask: why is the Camarvan here in the first place? While I believe it could be representative of the part of Fundy’s mind that tackles past memories, I do think it also serves another purpose which I will explain later.

Moving on to the next scenes, Fundy continues following the sandstone path while typing in chat, asking if anyone was actually there. He gets confused by the path for a moment, wanting to go to the ominous building, before realizing that the path does connect to the building, it just swerves a little to the left.

It is notable that when Fundy cried out for help, he doesn’t call for a name in specific-  he calls out for ANYONE. The fact that he is calling out for “anyone” could denote that he doesn’t have any close friends or family members he would want to specifically call out for. 

Continuing on, Fundy follows the path to the building, still very immensely confused about where he is. Opening the door, he sees that the inside descends into an underground room with its flooring made out of chiseled quartz blocks. Fundy gets scared at first, immediately closing the door, looking back in, and going back out once more.

Fundy denotes that there is absolutely nothing out here as he walks around the building. He then gains the courage to descend the staircase, wondering what it is, and at the bottom, there are a lot of misplaced sandstone blocks with small lights illuminating at certain corners. The path leads to the left, showing 10 pieces of red carpet on the floor, and 8 pieces of yellow carpet on the table. He approaches the wooden table before looking to his right, spotting a skull on the floor next to a piece of redstone, which I believe is meant to resemble blood.

I don’t think we really need to research a skull to check what it might represent, but my theory so far as to what the skulls mean in each building would be that it’s meant to represent Fundy losing a canon life. I don’t know if this was intentional, but the corner room where the skull is somewhat reminds me of the Final Control Room with the redstone in the middle representing the button. That is, after all, where Fundy lost his first canon life. 

One of the theories I subscribe to is that the skulls in these buildings are meant to foreshadow Fundy’s death before he ever reaches it. Earlier in the day, we saw Fundy pass by the Camarvan with a younger Fundy which could possibly imply that they haven’t gotten to Eret’s betrayal yet, but the skull creeping up at the corner could represent that it is, in fact, coming. How this ties in to the entire future predicting thing, I will explain later, but for now, keep an eye out on the skulls.

Terrified of the skull, Fundy opens the chest and hesitantly picks up the book and quill inside of it. He opens it and is introduced to another Fundy writing to himself. Other Fundy claims that they’re not exactly the same person, but this Fundy is a part of the real Fundy. Other Fundy claims that Fundy cannot trust this place as it is not real, then begins saying that Fundy himself is not real repeatedly. Fundy’s heart rate suddenly increases when he sees the words “wake up” appear slowly in the book, and after page 34 is shown, Fundy wakes up to a new day in the dream world. 

First thing to denote is that the book has 87 pages, and 87, according to affinitynumerology.com means as follows:

“The numerology number 87 is a number of family, organization, and prosperity.

It's also a number of harmony and idealism, the ideal generally related to a harmonious and prosperous family relationship.

87 has parental instincts. It assumes responsibility for the welfare of others it considers to be family.”

The explanation implies that Fundy longs for family and cares deeply for those who he considers as his family. As much as he hated Wilbur after he died, Fundy still continuously expressed how much he needed Wilbur to be there. He is absolutely attached to anyone who poses as a possible family member, especially to those who he views as parents or guardians. Even outside of Wilbur, he is still practically attached to Phil, even if Phil refuses to consider Fundy as family. Fundy also got immensely angered by Eret when she didn’t show up to sign his adoption papers. I’d even say his attachment to family would even reach people like Sally and Schlatt. Fundy has a tendency of casually talking about Sally, and whenever a character talks about eating salmon, Fundy becomes deeply offended. For Schlatt, Fundy kept Schlatt’s netherite sword after he died, considering it to be an “heirloom”, something that only gets passed down onto different generations of the same family. Fundy is incredibly attached to the sword, and whenever he loses it, he’s absolutely desperate to get it back. As much as Fundy gets abandoned, he still deeply appreciates a lot of his family.

87 is also very reminiscent of one of the books in the Inbetween. A lot of the phrasing in the books are actually quite similar to the Inbetween, but we aren’t sure if Fundy and the Inbetween are directly affecting each other or if these places merely work in similar ways. The main similarity between Fundy and the Inbetween is that it involves something related to time travelling, so the similarities could be pointing towards that rather than imply that Fundy is directly affecting the Inbetween all together.

Secondly, the book stops at Page 34. The website angelnumbers.org express the following:

"Most likely you are leaving your projects unfinished because of fear for their destiny after you finish them.

Will they be rejected or accepted by others?

Because you would rather not find out that and possibly have your ego hurt, you consciously or subconsciously sabotage your work and leave things unfinished.

When this number starts appearing in your life frequently, it is a reminder to acknowledge you have a problem and start dealing with it.”

This is very reminiscent of the paragraph I made earlier discussing Fundy’s relationship with Ranboo and Niki- and this could honestly apply to any other relationships Fundy has as well. Besides Fundy’s relationships, this explanation could apply to Fundy’s hesitance of finding out the truth of his mind. Earlier on in the streams, Fundy is immensely confused about the dream, not wanting to discover its truths at all. This eventually changes on the third day, but we’ll discuss that in a bit.

Another thing I’d like to discuss would be the identity of the book authors and why they wrote the books the way they did. I’ll explain about this more in-depth later, but I do believe that another Fundy is, indeed, writing these books. As this was set in Fundy’s mind, it’s quite impossible for anyone who isn’t Fundy to be meddling with the books. What we can denote, though, is the reason as to why these books were created in the first place. The book itself seems to be harmless at first, quite inviting towards Fundy in the first few pages, but once it had to introduce what this world is, it seemed to hesitate. There were a couple of disjointed pages, as well as blank pages, before it began claiming the world wasn’t real, and that Fundy wasn’t real. It turned a complete 180, which seemed to be very odd to me. In past events of the Dream SMP, derealizing statements like this tend to be tricks of the mind, but these statements seem to be intentionally put there by those who wrote the book, especially since later on, we see another book completely give up on saying these triggering statements, saying that “It’s not going to work.” (32:05). 

What this implies is that whoever placed these statements are attempting to scare Fundy in some way, possibly heightening his insecurities and terror so that he can be truly terrified of the place. The constant statements of “you are not real” may not only refer to the Other Fundy trying to make Fundy spiral downwards in derealization, but it might actually represent how neglected Fundy feels to the point of feeling invisible, to the point of feeling that he “isn’t real”. But why is this Other Fundy trying to scare Fundy, and who, specifically, is the person behind the writings, you might ask? This question will be answered later on when we go more in-depth with the other books, as the bigger picture is very much needed instead of explaining it all by the first book.

v. SECOND DAY

Fundy wakes up in his base once more, evidently confused. We don’t really know why he wakes up in his base, and why the world changes every time he wakes up, but let’s just say this is all part of his dream to make sense out of it. This time, he sounds more broken, and definitely more unhinged. He calls out for any other member in the chat, telling them that whatever they’re doing is not funny. This is the first we see of Fundy believing that the others may actually just have been pulling a prank on him. He opens his chests frantically before venturing outside once more. He claims that he doesn’t believe the book, saying that this dream sequence feels pretty real to him. 

This time, Fundy puts a bigger emphasis on asking why he is alone, and why nobody seems to be here with him. Fundy seems to be more shaken up by the idea that he’s alone over the idea that he does not know anything about where he is at all. He approaches the van, and when he zooms in, he sees that Wilbur’s nametag disappeared. 

Transcript of this following scene:

“I knew you were there. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no- you can’t fool me! No, I knew you were there Wil. You were there, right there! Where did you go? Are you being- he’s being funny. This is funny! This is great. Aw, this is amazing- it’s just a prank! It’s April Fools soon- that’s why! Oh, I’m just being pranked… right?”

Now, this was… sad. This is one of the other statements that could have a double meaning. Fundy insisting that Wilbur is supposed to be there could not only be him comparing this day to the previous, but it could also imply his true feelings towards Wilbur, especially since he’s disappeared for a good portion of Fundy’s life. Fundy believes Wilbur is supposed to be there for him, but the reality is that he wasn’t. Instead of facing reality, Fundy concludes that all of this was a harmless joke instead of believing that Wilbur might have possibly left him.

Fundy attempts to enter the van once more, but his attempt doesn’t work. He then follows the path on the side directing to the ominous building only for him to realize that it has gotten closer.

The building getting closer to the main base actually has a lot of symbolism behind it. The building itself stores a lot of secrets, especially when it comes to the truths about this world and the different insecurities Fundy has repressed. Those writing the books have laid out all these secrets in every single book found in this building. The fact that it’s underground is meant to represent that these secrets are meant to be hidden in the depths of Fundy’s mind, but the fact that the building is getting closer to the main base makes it feel like 1.) the stored secrets about this world that Fundy may have forgotten about might finally seep into his consciousness, making him aware of them next time he wakes up, and 2.) the insecurities Fundy repressed deep down are seeping out more and more as it reaches the main core. Once it’s there, Fundy won’t be able to reject the truth about his abandonment issues any longer.

Fundy nears the building, still quite nervous. He opens the door, and the layout of the inside seems to be slightly similar to the previous day, but there are small details here and there that are different. Instead of 10 red carpets, there are 6, and instead of 8 yellow carpets, there are 6. Additionally, the skull seems to be closer, this time directly next to the table.

While the carpets were quite subtle, I do think it symbolizes a certain decrease of something. Red symbolizes the color for passion and love, while yellow is meant to represent happiness and positivity. Earlier, we saw that Wilbur disappeared from the Carmarvan, so the decrease of rugs for each color could represent Fundy’s love and happiness decreasing.

For the skull itself, I don’t know if I’m right, but this is what I infer from it: On the first day, we saw that Wilbur was still standing next to Fundy in the Camarvan as the first skull underground was still very far away. On the second day, when Wilbur was gone, the skull got closer, standing next to the table instead of it being far away. I theorize that if the skull is closer, then a canon death has already occurred in the time period the day wants to present. The first day presents a time where Wilbur was still taking care of Fundy, so Eret’s betrayal may not have happened yet, hence why the skull merely stayed hidden at the corner. On the second day, Wilbur has actively left Fundy, similar to the period after L’Manberg’s independence when Fundy had to partake in the Pet Wars alone. During that era, the betrayal has already happened, which is why I believe the skull is much closer this time. 

Continuing on, Fundy opens the book and begins reading. From this point onwards, I do want to go more in depth with each of the books, so I’ll put transcripts here and there with my thoughts added onto it after each transcript.

“Hi me!

Welcome back!

Yeahh, second time here? or third?

not entirely sure”

So, this is confirmation that this might not be the first time Fundy’s having dreams like this. A good question to ask is if the book was written a long time ago and has presented itself the same way it does right now, or if this book was written recently. I don’t think the stream gave a definitive answer, but it is something to keep in mind.

“Listen to me Fundy

and you should trust me because,

well you know why

There are two things you can do right now

Walk back to your base, jump in bed, fall asleep, and you will wake up as if nothing ever happened

Or you can keep reading…

And I will tell you what I know”

The book pauses for a bit then continues saying “You are not real” ten times, “You dont want to know the truth” fifteen times, and spams “WAKE UP” until the 38th page, a number we analyzed earlier because of the 38 baked potatoes. 

For the book itself, whoever is writing the book seems to be a bit hesitant when writing. It doesn’t seem to want to explain what this place truly is to Fundy, and as much as it clarifies that they are, indeed, Fundy, they never expound on how they were able to write these books and why Fundy should trust him. Other Fundy saying “you should trust me because, well you know why” is actually quite ominous, and I can only think of two reasons as to why they would say it: 1.) Other Fundy is implying that Fundy can trust him because he is, in fact, the same person, or 2.) Other Fundy is hinting that Fundy trusts too easily as seen with the people Fundy trusted in the real world.

Additionally, the Other Fundy seems to emphasize on the fact that they WANT Fundy to go to sleep and wake up in the overworld. They phrase it so that sleeping once more is the more logical option, while they basically scare Fundy with the other option, evident by his quickened heartbeat. The Other Fundy seems to know about the intricacies of this dream and its world, but seems to be very hesitant to tell Fundy about it. The continuous threats imply that the Other Fundy doesn’t want Fundy to know the truth at all.

Basically, this Other Fundy knows something, something our Fundy doesn’t know about, and wants to emphasize that it is something horrific. He will do whatever he can do so that he can stop Fundy from knowing the truth, even if it means he has to scare Fundy.

Additionally, to me, it feels like “WAKE UP” could possibly have two meanings. If the underground structure is meant to represent things that Fundy constantly represses to the back of his mind, not only would the secrets of his dream reside there, but his own repressed insecurities may reside there as well. The way Fundy treats the truth about his dreams is actually quite similar with the way he treats his insecurities- he tends to reject its existence and pretend that everything is normal. This dream isn’t just a dream, it’s an exploration of Fundy’s mind, and telling Fundy to “WAKE UP” doesn’t just refer to not knowing the truths about the dream, but it could also refer to Fundy not knowing the truths about his own insecurities hidden deep in the depths of his mind. 

vi. THIRD DAY

Fundy wakes up, breathing heavily. He paces around his room before opening the door frantically, seeing that he is still stuck in a desert. He begins to laugh, repetitively telling himself that all of this is a “joke”. He continues questioning why he’s still in this dream, and when he opens the door, he sees the ominous structure observably closer to the base. He claims that he’s actually stressing out, and Fundy goes on a tangent about this dream and reveals a bit about his insecurities:

“They’re toying with me, they’re toying with me. They’re actually- everyone is toying with me- they are ALWAYS TOYING WITH ME. Everyone is! I’m always being played with. Why? Why always me- no! Why does it always have to be me? Every single time. I don’t wanna- (sigh). I don’t wanna keep dealing with this- I just wanna- no- do I just… Do I just… Do I just go up here and listen to- wai- okay. The book said I have two options: I can wait here until it’s night time. Wait until the sun sets and I can go to sleep, and when I go to sleep and wake up, none of this is real. None of this is gonna- it’s gonna disappear. None of this is real, none of this is real, none… It’s not real, it’s not real, I am currently not real, this is no- how is this possible? How is this- wha- how did- how… None of this is real. I am not real. All I have to do is wait for midnight and just sleep, and all of this would end, right? All I have to do is… wait until night time and then… it’s all gonna be over, it’s all gonna be done. 

I just gotta sleep, and then, it’s gonna disappear. And then everyone is gonna appear out of a bush and they’re gonna be ‘Surprise!’ and I’m gonna be like, ‘You guys! You’re always pranking me… you’ve always been there for me (sniffs). Every single time… except sometimes… when I needed you the most. I just go to bed… I just go to bed, and then I wake up, and none of this ever happened. And we’re gonna go back to my old life where I have fun and join parties and join groups and only see them disappear in front of my eyes as I start to get attached to them. Y-yeah, that’s- that’s- that’s the choice I’m making. Go back to that... (sigh). Just… or you know…”

LOTS to unpack here, and I’ll go one by one explaining certain aspects of this because it’s not just something that showcases Fundy’s insecurities.

Firstly, interesting how Fundy believed that the book was toying with him like how a lot of other people do. That’s what makes him afraid of the book- the feeling of being pushed around. The book is actively trying to use Fundy’s insecurities against him in order to make him more and more afraid of the truth. This is interesting because Fundy is known to be ignorant towards his actual issues (just look at his monologue), but the Other Fundy seems to be acutely aware of them. I will explain why he is aware of them later on.

Secondly, this is the most observable point, Fundy seems to be aware that he is quite frankly, alone, but tends to ignore it. He copes with his abandonment issues by treating his abandonment like a joke. He believes that every single person who’s left him did it as a prank. Even if he laughs at this idea, he is also evidently hurt by it. It hits even harder when you realize that Fundy is quite the dependent character, often sucking up to any person who gives him recognition. If Fundy depends on others to dictate his self-worth, how do you think he thinks of himself right now when he literally has nobody?

Putting emphasis on Fundy’s loneliness is going to be interesting because I do think some characters in future arcs are going to exploit that. If Quackity is going to use and manipulate Fundy the same way Sam does, then there would be no doubt that he will use Fundy’s loneliness against him. Even if it’s not Quackity who approaches Fundy first- even Bad, Sam, Dream, anyone, really, could use Fundy’s loneliness against him, which will make for an interesting plot point.

Lastly, not a lot of people spotted this, but this monologue also gives us insight as to why Fundy continued looking for the truth about his dreams instead of staying in his base and waiting for night. When talking about what to look forward to once he wakes up, he talks about how much “fun” he is going to have. Slowly, you see his denial start to dwindle as he finally admits that people leave him just as he gets attached to them. As much as Fundy wanted to wake up from this horrific dream, he realizes that, once he wakes up, he has nothing to look forward to either. That’s why he hesitates when he says “Yeah, that’s the choice I’m making,” because he realizes waking up isn’t as ideal as it seems. This is why Fundy immediately goes outside afterwards with no hesitation- Fundy has nothing left to lose, hence why he chooses to venture forth. Fundy is driven to do things because he feels like his life is purposeless anyway.

Fundy then begins to head outside quietly, zooming into the ominous building while walking right towards it. He then detours for a moment, walking towards the right of the building, and approaches a giant crater filled with obsidian and blackstone.

The explosion could symbolize two things:

Any of the L’Manberg explosions. With the obsidian and blackstone combination, my guess is that this is either the first Doomsday event (L’Manbergian War of Independence) because of L’Manberg’s walls, or the November 16th War because of Schlatt’s Podium. Why the big amount of blackstone and obsidian? Well, I’m not so sure when it comes to L’Manberg as its walls didn’t have obsidian, but for the November 16th war, I do think that the abundance of blackstone and obsidian is meant to represent how Fundy is reducing the November 16th war to Schlatt’s Podium. This can be alarming as he was the one who made Schlatt’s Podium, so reducing the war to that one building might symbolize that he blames himself for the war.

Another theory, which is the theory I subscribe to more, is that this is actually depicting an event in the future that we haven’t seen yet. Namely, the prison. If you zoom in on the explosion, the block pattern is quite reminiscent of the block pattern present in the prison.

While I’ll mostly discuss Fundy’s future predicting powers later, I do think that there’s a possibility that Fundy saw a vision of the future, unlike the past two days where he saw visions of the past. The prison might possibly be nuked in the future.

Fundy then proceeds to walk back towards the building, repetitively saying “no”. He claims he needs to find out, sounding more determined than before. For this, even if the explosion could represent many things, I do think Fundy is generally reminded of the explosions he had to witness throughout the history of the Dream SMP. Perhaps he believes that finding out the truth could prevent more explosions from occurring, perhaps he figured out that this was the prison and he needed to know why it exploded, perhaps him walking away from something that’s reminiscent of real life represents his choice of wanting to learn more about his dreams rather than sticking to anything similar to real life. 

Moving on, Fundy enters the building, saying he wants to know what’s going on. The underground room seems to have changed a bit, as the chiseled quartz floors changed into quartz bricks. The place also seems to be littered with end stone blocks and bricks. The place is much darker as well, and the carpets on the floor and table seem to be gone entirely. Two skulls can be observed near the table.

My brain actually can’t reason as to why the end blocks were there, or why the quartz blocks changed. My guess is that the end stones will eventually connect to a future plot point relating to the End, but again, I’m not sure. The carpets being gone could represent that the love and happiness (red and yellow) that Fundy had disappeared completely. The dishevelled state of the room could represent that the secrets being held inside this underground room are finally breaking free as its confines tear down more and more. 

Now the skulls- if we go by the theory I presented earlier, then the skulls are meant to represent canon deaths. If the skull was tucked into the corner, then that means death is to come, but if it’s near the table, then I believe the canon death already occurred. If two skulls are next to the table, then it could imply that whatever time period the day is set in should be around the time Fundy loses a second canon death, which hasn’t occurred yet. Again, this is all speculation, so I might be overthinking, but if the explosion is meant to represent the prison getting nuked, then there’s a possibility Fundy would lose a canon life before the prison gets destroyed.

Now, onto the juicy bit: the book. The book reads as follows:

“Hi. again.

...Why are we so persistent

...Why are we so stubborn

...You have been here before, but you keep coming back

...Why?

WHY???

You dont want to know the truth

It will hurt you

I dont want to be hurt again

YOU dont want to be hurt again

I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

PLEASE JUST LEAVE

GO TO BED

FALL ASLEEP

ENJOY YOUR LIFE

ENJOY THE FUN THINGS

THE TRUTH ISNT WHAT YOU WANT

PLEASE

STOP THIS

STOP!!!”

The book tries scaring Fundy by spamming “WAKE UP” across multiple pages.

“It’s not going to work, huh..

Listen to me Fundy…

Your mind is not safe…

You are not imagining this…

This place might not be real…

But he is.

Spare yourself.

I need you to listen carefully.

Do not join him.

Whatever he asks of you.

Do NOT join him.

his plans aren’t as nice as they sound.

his intentions aren’t what you think they are.

he will use you

he will destroy you

everything you ever loved

everyone you ever cared about

do not join him.”

Before I explain this book, I think it’s best to also note down what was said in the next book as well so I can better explain what’s going on.

“note to self

hello

I just wrote this book to remember who I am

To remember what is happening

All the books I just found are indeed written by me

Listen to yourself

You suffer from a very odd illness

You suffer from a form of insomnia, within your own dreams.

Now the effects of this aren’t really known, and even I don’t fully know what is going on.

but let me tell you

somehow, this world, these actions and events, are linked to reality.

things that happen in these so-called “dreams”, tend to leak into the real world

they will actually happen.

you might wonder how exactly this is a bad thing.

the ability to predict certain events from happening, sounds pretty cool.”

Fundy then stops reading the book, seemingly overwhelmed by the influx of information. Analysis time, boys, time to unpack what this all means.

Firstly, I believe that this dream has happened before. Multiple times, actually. If certain “events” in the dream are meant to predict the future, then the moments involving the Camarvan on the first two days could imply that Fundy has seen this place before during the L’Manberg era where he could’ve predicted Eret’s betrayal and the loss of his father. If we think about it, the books could honestly be given to Fundy at any time period and it would work. Look at the entire section of the book describing someone who Fundy can’t trust- this “him” person could honestly be… anyone who abandoned Fundy? If the book hints at someone who might possibly hurt and use Fundy, then Eret, Wilbur, Schlatt, and Dream could also be considered. These people were nice to Fundy at first before betraying him one way or another. There is a possibility that this dream has warned Fundy about these people in the past, only for Fundy to forget about the dream. What about this time though, who is this “him” that’s going to betray Fundy during this time period? Well, the easy answer would be Quackity, but Bad could be a possibility as well. With the hint towards Quackity at the end, I do believe that Quackity would be the main suspect, but it’s also good to keep an open mind as we don’t know much of who Fundy’s involved with in Season 3.

Now, why would Fundy be able to forget about the dreams, though? I do think that whoever is responsible for writing the books are doing their best to prevent Fundy from uncovering the truth. Who do I think are the book authors? Well, I don’t think they were lying when they said that they were Fundy. I believe that, just like the Dream voice in Ranboo’s head, the Fundy that writes books would be some sort of conscience or subconscious in Fundy’s mind. This part of the mind holds certain memories repressed by Fundy, as well as some of the insecurities he chooses to ignore. They are aware of all of Fundy’s past visits of this dream, and they know the dangers of it, which is why they want Fundy to not uncover the truth. 

The signed book claims that whatever Fundy sees in the dream will seep out into reality. Knowing this, I believe Fundy’s subconscious is trying to prevent Fundy from seeking out the truth to prevent these future visions from happening in real life; this especially applies to events that involve Fundy possibly being hurt. There is a possibility that this Fundy has seen past Fundy’s discover events like the Camarvan and the loss of Wilbur occur in dreams way past before it occurred in real life, so they feel afraid that our Fundy would uncover more and more truths that would become reality. While we don’t know if Other Fundy’s beliefs on future predicting is true, this gives us a better understanding of why they want Fundy to go to bed and wake up. (Additionally, the Other Fundy has placed emphasis on saying that the truth may hurt Fundy, so there is a possibility that these future events might involve something that heightens Fundy’s insecurities more. That’s why this Fundy seems to be so aware of Fundy’s insecurities- they have witnessed Fundy’s insecurities being used against him in certain visions.)

For the memory thing, so far, I believe a part of Fundy’s mind is actively suppressing all the memories Fundy has of his dreams. Fundy already represses a lot of his insecurities, so using Fundy’s insecurities against him might actually enable them to keep Fundy’s memories about the dream locked in the corners of his mind. The place where the book is kept in is underground, after all, but we do have to keep in mind that the building is getting closer and closer to Fundy’s main base. This could symbolize that Fundy will remember his dreams more once he wakes up.

So basically, so far, Fundy has dreamt this dream multiple times in the past, and during each dream, he witnesses an event in the future that could possibly happen in real life. Fundy’s subconscious, or possibly past versions of Fundy, are trying to warn future Fundy’s to not uncover too many truths about the dream as they believe this could possibly manifest terrible events to happen in real life. To get Fundy to go back to bed, they try scaring Fundy, using his insecurities against him, only this time, Fundy is a bit more disobedient because, again, he feels like he has nothing left to lose. 

Another theory I have which I’m not 100% sure about is that this Other Fundy, as much as it has good intentions, may have committed a mistake when they tried to get Fundy to bed by using his insecurities. If anything in the dream may happen in real life, them heightening Fundy’s insecurities might pass over to the real world as well. While scaring Fundy could prevent him from uncovering the truth, it might’ve also been a double-edged sword as Fundy is more aware of his insecurities more than ever.

Continuing on, Fundy decided to leave the building, seeing that it’s night time. He sounds relieved knowing that he can sleep and that he can wake up from this dream. He celebrates for a moment, throwing the book away, but then he hesitates, saying he wants to know the truth. He picks the book up again but doesn’t read it immediately, claiming that he could just sleep instead of knowing the truth.

Fundy seems to revel in the idea of waking up for a bit until he mentions how much of a “blast” he can have with everyone once he wakes up. After mentioning this, he immediately picks up the book with no hesitation. This is the second time Fundy is shown to be motivated in finding the truth about his dreams because of him realizing how unfun the real world is. Again, Fundy is seen to be motivated by the fact that he has nothing left to lose, and as much as he is scared of this dream, he seems to prefer finding this world’s truth over going back into the real world where he’s practically alone.

Moving on, the book continues:

“however…

while this might be the case of dreams…

this is also the case for nightmares…

this is your last warning Fundy

please… for the both of us…

just wake up”

This part of the book simply affirms all I’ve theorized about earlier. The Other Fundy hints that some events that Fundy might witness in his dream would be detrimental to Fundy, which is why he doesn’t want Fundy to continue exploring. He knows that Fundy will possibly manifest an event that will ruin him in real life, so he wants Fundy to sleep instead of accidentally manifesting his demise.

vii. FOURTH DAY

Fundy then wakes up once more, complaining that this dream never ends. He goes outside, seeing a black, hooded figure slowly turn around and chase him. With a quickened heartbeat, he runs up his stairs to sleep in a black bed placed on the roof. Fundy screams as we see the hooded figure approach, and the screen fades to black. A white smiley face reminiscent of the one on Quackity’s skin appears on the screen as casino slots sound effects play in the background.

Now, what do I make of this? Well, firstly, we gotta point out that his bed at the end looked EERILY similar to a gravestone. A lot of websites claim that sleeping in a gravestone or seeing a gravestone could indicate change, especially when it comes to overcoming one’s sadness or problems. In a literal sense, we can think of it as something foreshadowing a future canon death, especially if we think that the person chasing Fundy is the grim reaper.

Speaking of that person, I do have a couple of explanations as to who this person is:

The person is death themselves, the grim reaper. This is the common conclusion everyone believes in, especially when we consider this “him” person possibly hurting Fundy, and that second skull in the underground room. Quackity is the main culprit for now, especially with that smiley face in the end, but there could be other possibilities! Like, what if someone takes Fundy’s canon life before he joins Quackity, which is why the smiley face only popped up after Fundy’s dream death? Mayhaps someone affiliated with Quackity might be doing the dirty work for him, so Bad, Sam, Dream, and anyone, really, could be responsible for Fundy’s future canon death. Moreover, the fact that this death occurs affirms the beliefs of the Other Fundy. The Other Fundy merely wants Fundy to be safe from possibly manifesting his demise in real life, but Fundy’s curiosity got the best of him, and in the next sequence, he was killed, proving that the Other Fundy was right in saying that Fundy should’ve just slept.

A theory I made up which I’m not 100% sure of is that this figure is actually Fundy’s subconscious trying to get him to sleep. When Fundy was being chased, we heard a quickened heartbeat, and where was the only other time we heard that? When Fundy was reading the “WAKE UP” and “you’re not real” messages from those books. We can view this as the Other Fundy’s attempt in trying to get Fundy to actually sleep by using another scare tactic against Fundy. And well… it did work! Because Fundy was afraid of this figure, Fundy went to sleep. There is also a possibility that this occurrence is what makes Fundy forget about the dream because his subconscious got a hold of Fundy and forcibly made him forget, but I’m not 100% sure about that one yet.

Lastly, the face! That should already allude to Fundy possibly joining Quackity’s lore, and with the “38 potatoes” symbolizing business opportunities, I expect Fundy to be joining Las Nevadas as a possible employee. Quackity does, in fact, prey on people who are insecure, and can easily get them to do whatever he wants because of his words. If he can get Sam to give him the tools needed to torture Dream, Quackity might exploit Fundy’s loneliness into making him do whatever Quackity wants from him. 

Another face that this could possibly connect to is the face in the Egg lair! While I’m leaning more towards Quackity because of the casino sounds, I do wanna say that the Egg and the Eggpire could possibly be connected as well, especially when the Egg could provide Fundy anything he wants. Just like how Quackity could prey on Fundy’s insecurities, the Egg preys on those who feel like they’re missing something, so as much as Fundy could be manipulated by Quackity, he could also be manipulated by the Egg. Additionally, business opportunities could apply to the Eggpire as well as they’ve contacted Purpled in the past to assassinate Puffy, so who’s to say they won’t try adding Fundy to the Eggpire?

TLDR; This entire stream showcased both Fundy’s insecurities and Fundy’s future predicting powers and how this “Other Fundy”, aka his subconscious, wants him to repress them because they believe that if Fundy uncovers the secrets of his dream more, then Fundy would accidentally manifest his demise in real life. Additionally, Fundy is very lonely, making him vulnerable of being used in the future because he is desperate to get any type of recognition from anybody. In summary, be afraid of Fundy’s future lore streams, be very afraid.

viii. ADDITIONAL NOTES

Even when I finish this, there’s a lot of questions to ask about this stream that I want you to keep in mind:

How many times has Fundy encountered this before?

How does Fundy forget all the information he got from the dreams?

How does Fundy write to himself?

Why is there so many details connected to Karl, and what does it have to do with time travelling?

Why does Fundy return to his bed every time his heartbeat quickens when reading a book?

Was the first scene part of the dream or not?

Could the underground room’s structure actually mean something?

And there’s probably more, but just saying, keep an open mind about this entire stream because there’s definitely a lot more to uncover.

I want to reiterate: I am not the Messiah, so don’t take my word as the truth and the absolute truth. I’d love to hear your thoughts about Fundy’s stream as a lot of it could be up for speculation! The entire thing is filled to the brim with symbolisms, so there could be a lot of interpretations to consider. If you enjoyed this, feel free to like and retweet because I worked my ASS off with this one. 

Special thanks to the following:

Fundy and any of the Dream SMP members because that stream was INCREDIBLE. Go give them your love and support.

kingjem for always being there whenever I want to discuss any ideas I have about the Dream SMP. One of the smartest bitches I know, go follow them.

To all my betas who reviewed this document since I have a TON of grammar mistakes (thanks English): prismartist, bootsforthebootsgod, Finni_june (twt), ender-hyperfocuses-on-things, and Dngertosociety2 (twt)

And to all of you who like this post and would share it to other people! All support is appreciated. :D

[mack3030]

Things the Sims 4 Community Can Do About Paywalls...A Post...

[This is going to be a bit long, so you may want to save it and read it when you have time, or just...you know, buckle in.]

I thought I would ring in the new year by talking about something that I feel we as a community need to finally decide on. (It’s been debated since 2017 or so, and it’s now 2021...) I’d like, if possible, to try to suggest some real solutions and choices that we can make that will hopefully create a better and more honest community out of all of us.  Now I would like to start by making some postulates. In geometry, postulates are facts that do not need proven with a mathematical proof. They are assumed to be true. Thomas Jefferson and the founding fathers would call these “Self-Evident Truths”. I would like to use these as a bit of a basis for my arguments. 

Truth: The Sims 4 has been enough of a cash cow for EA.  If you buy the base game ($40) plus all expansion packs (40 each x 10) + all game packs (20 each x 9) + all stuff packs (10 each x 17) you would come to a total of seven hundred and 90 dollars ($790) plus tax. This is of course, without sales, bundling, etc, which many people DO take advantage of, but STILL. That is a TON of money for EA’s pockets.  EA makes a majority of its money on the fact that the Sims 4 is an “incomplete game”. It “completes” the game further and further by adding more “expansions” to the game to the point that it seems almost useless to buy the base game alone without adding to it. 

Even with sales and other things, it’s easy to spend over $500 dollars on the sims 4 game + expansions. Still a lot of cash for a game that is years old. This is just money that is spent on the game that goes to EA. This does not account for:  * Money spent to buy a new computer because your old one wouldn’t run the sims.  * Money spent supporting CC artists who have donations open or early access.  * Money spent on access to sites that have ads/paywalls/exclusive sims 4 CC such as Leosims, etc. (Which are the problem, frankly)

We should be able to respect the fact that a majority of us paid a hefty amount for this game. It is unfair, and frankly greedy to REQUIRE people to pay MORE just to unlock or gain access to specific user created content. 

I am not talking about a VOLUNTARY support or donation because they like what you offer. I am talking about FORCING people to pay if they want to ever be able to use the CC or mod you offer. 

Now, the typical defense for this is “Well, I’m an artist! I spend time/effort/etc working hard on these meshes, the code, etc to make this content!”  Which leads me to point #2. 

Truth: Mods, CC, and other content for the Sims 4 are useless without the game. Once they are created/uploaded to the game, all copyright to those objects IMMEDIATELY transfers to EA. 

I teach art in a Missouri public school. Our state standards dictate that when art students are in middle school grades, they have to learn about copyright, fair use, and creative commons. While I am not a copyright lawyer, I have had to learn enough about this subject to teach it. So allow me to break down a few facts about copyright: 

First, when ya make it, ya own it. There’s not a process to apply for a copyright. The moment you create something that is 100% your own work, you hold the copyright to it. 

Second, when you make something that is created based off of or USING someone else’s intellectual property as a reference or resource it is a fan creation. In art, we call this “fanart”. It is not 100% your own work. Someone else’s intellectual property is involved. 

Fan creations always have tread a very thin and shadowy line when it comes to different companies and the legality of them. You can easily search google for various articles explaining it, but to summarize it in a short method: 

Most companies do not actively go after those who create fan creations unless they are making profits that could instead be going to the creators of the intellectual property. If the fan creation is discovered to be making profits and/or taking the intellectual property in a direction the creator does not approve of, they have legal options to pursue (court, cease and desist letters, etc). 

Third, Copyright can be transferred from person to person. In most cases this is done through a written document that both parties sign, however there IS an exception to this that EA uses to allow itself to transfer your copyrights to your content to them: 

EA’s agreement with you is non-exclusive, meaning that the moment you hit “agree” on the sims 4 terms and conditions, you have handed over your rights to any CC you create for the game. 

If you want to maintain full creative rights over the mesh/mods/etc you make then, you have to not make that content for the sims 4 and make your own platform to host it on. This is way easier said than done. 

Truth: There have been various examples in the past of CC creators who have stolen meshes, bases, bits/pieces of work, or “inspiration” for CC from other sites/companies, who have been called on it publicly. 

The most recent event concerning this was drama concerning itsbrandysims and their use of meshes from imvu/secondlife (you can see my opinion on the subject HERE), but there have been other documented cases. Leosims, for example, has been listed as an example of someone taking meshes from secondlife creators and reuploading them (when it was told to me, I was shown THIS thread as evidence). Another well known creator was accused by a former sims 4 cc creator (who now makes content from second life), and was called out in THIS post in 2019. 

The horrible part of this? Many of these creators are charging people (often at not so great rates as well), for STOLEN content. Content they don’t even own, that they ripped from another place. This should not be accepted by a community that loves a game as much as the Sims 4 community.  Truth: EA has provided a way for people to make money while not hiding content behind paywalls entirely, and the INTENT of this was to OFFSET COSTS.  Almost every post about content locked behind paywalls features this post found on the Sims Forum from 2017. In it, SimGuruDrake, who was the community manager at the time (she has since left the Sims 4 team for another job).  Most of you who have seen this discussion topic before know this post by heart, but I’d like to highlight one important aspect of it: 

One thing that is always important about communication is the intent behind it. The intent for people to be allowed to make patreons and allow early access wasn’t so people could just make money for themselves, the idea was to offset costs to buy programs to make the content. For example, a yearly subscription to Adobe Creative Cloud (which has photoshop, illustrator, etc) costs a couple hundred dollars US a year. If someone was using photoshop to help them create their CC in addition to blender or other free programs, EA/Maxis wanted to allow the creator to not have to pay for making the CC out of pocket.  Can EA/Maxis control what people spend the money they make off of patreon on? No. But it should be noted that the intent of this action was to help people pay for supplies for their hobby more than to make a business out of it. 

Onto the next truth! Truth: There is an image that disputes this post above, however the authenticity of it and timing of it are very disputed. 

This image is often thrown around by people who lock content behind paywalls, but I would like to take a second and try to provide an honest assessment of it.  First of all, I have a bit of a problem with the fact that the original person who “messaged” SimGuruDrake this question has not been identified. This image was not posted on the tumblr of a CC creator who claimed “Hey I reached out to a sims guru and this is the answer I got!” The main pages that have this image are either tweets from CC creators using it to defend their stance on paywalls (ex: here), or tumblrs/tweets “debunking it” (ex: here, here).  I even reverse image searched this image using google, and another platform and could not figure out where this originated from. Of course, I’m not an expert, but...still. 

The fact that the origin of this picture is unknown casts doubt on it. If it were a well known CC maker who is known for being honest, that’s one thing. But the fact that we don’t exactly know where it came from is suspicious. Because frankly, anyone with some decent editing ability could photoshop this. 

Here’s my imperfect edit, but I’m just a self-taught graphics nerd and I am not as dedicated at faking screenshots as some. (And the crap photo quality didn’t help.) Another common issue is that at the supposed “time” that this question was being asked, some state that SimsGuruDrake had already left the Sims 4 team. I will admit, this photo is within the correct timeline, as SimsGuruDrake did not officially depart the sims 4 team until February 2018. (There is a post on the sims forums that has a timestamp that confirms this.) But, if you were in the process of leaving your job within the next month (as a two week/30 day notice is common when leaving a job), would you REALLY be answering questions in DMs on twitter, or be focusing on packing up, and training your successor?  The last thing that really makes me doubt the validity of this picture is the fact that it’s not really easy to message the sims gurus on Twitter. This appears to be twitter from the screenshot (although there are some things that are a little out of place from the current UI): But when I attempt to direct message a sims guru I get this message: 

I even tried seeing if I could reach out via DM to Drake herself, (who now posts under a different twitter) to see if it was possible: 

Could the policies have changed since 2018? Possibly, but I feel that opening up direct messages is just asking for Sims 4 team members to get angry messages, so this could very well be a long running EA policy. I have also reached out to her via a twitter tag (as of 1/2/21), and will update y’all if I get a reply:

Okay, so now that we’ve gone through all of this, let’s talk about the last truth that’s really important:  Truth: Putting content behind paywalls has generally been considered disgusting by many in the sims 4 community, and TAKES AWAY the choice of people to support CC creators they love/appreciate WILLINGLY.  A few notable posts sharing the disgust with this practice can be found: HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE & HERE). And these are just what I can find from a simple precursory search.

Okay, Brainiac. So what can we do to solve this problem? 

Well, there’s a few methods we can employ, and sadly, it’s going to take a bit of a commitment and concentrated effort from the community. 

Step #1: Make the COMMUNITY the VICTIM instead of EA. 

Now when I say this, I don’t mean we’re actually victims, but mean that instead of constantly saying things like “WHEN YOU DO THIS YOU VIOLATE EA’S TOU!”, thus making EA the “victim” of the crime. We change the dialog to saying “When you lock stuff behind paywalls, you cheat the sims 4 community and disrespect their choice to support you or not.”  Because let’s be honest. Maxis/EA really doesn’t give much of a care about if people aren’t following this rule. You can report people to the team, but as far as most people have seen, it doesn’t get anywhere. But if we make it where the community is the party being “wronged” it is much harder for those who have paywalls to not be scared. Because the community, in the end, has to be with them.  DepthofPixels had a really amazing post about this HERE. 

Step 2: Decide to not support anyone who puts their content behind exclusive paywalls and do not hesitate to spread the word about why you choose not to do so. 

By that, I mean

not paying any patreon accounts that don’t offer either their content 100% for free, or offer early access.

And sharing about why you choose to do that on your social media. Something I might suggest would be to make it a bit personal and share something like:

Instead of spending $15 a month to get exclusive content from Leosims (or any other patreon/paywall creator here) I’m spending that $15 supporting creator x, creator y, and creator z, who don’t put their work behind paywalls! 

Link their patrons, share why you like their content, and why you take the stance to make the community better. Make it a positive thing, praising the people who are doing RIGHT by the community. 

Yes, you may not get their content for a while (although there are some different places (

x

,

x

) to find them *cough*. But in the end, is it worth supporting someone’s content when they’re treating the community badly? 

Step 3: Report creators who actively steal content from IMVU/secondlife to those respective companies, and all others to EA. (Even though nothing may happen.)

Here’s the deal. When people steal from either of those sites, they are infringing on someone’s copyright, as well as Imvu/secondlife’s copyright as well. It’s not okay, and they should be held accountable for it. Here’s the LINK for submitting a ticket to Secondlife. I haven’t been able to find one for IMVU, but maybe someone else will find one. Let those companies know and allow them to handle those specific creators.  As to the other creators, EA may not handle them at the moment. But IF (and this is a wishful thinking “if”) there were suddenly a flood of messages about certain creators...? I think they might have to pay attention to some of those messages. There is an official report form, but it might even be worth tweeting to SleddingGuruFrost, who is the current community manager asking about their stance on paywalls.  And last but not least: 

Step 4: Make sure that those who are doing the right thing and not putting their work behind paywalls feel appreciated. Show them some love via a tumblr ask, or by tagging them on twitter, or by going up a tier on their patreon (or pledging for the first time). Celebrate these heroes who are creating content and not forcing it on us. 

Us asking for people to give us a choice to support them isn’t being greedy, or disrespecting their time. We just want transparency, and respect from those who create content for the game we love so much versus them treating us like we’re just a source of income. I know it might seem a bit hard to do this for some of you, and for some it may seem like I’m preaching to the choir, but we have to decide where we stand on this issue and stop letting those who abuse this system keep doing it. We can make a difference if we decide as a COMMUNITY to work together.

With commitment,  ~Sunny