#my dispair beats in my chest

[murdockthenerd]

Ooof man today was something- I can't help but wish I was different. Like this is gonna be a rant but man i don't like who I am or how I am, and I feel like I can't do anything about it. Like I'm just stuck as something less than what I could be- I wish I was different but for now, I'm just gonna settle for being alive

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

It was a normal morning as Lily walked down to breakfast, listening to Mary and Marlene's silly conversation about their dreams and what they meant. But suddenly, Lily felt a pair of hands picking her up bridal style and lifting her off the floor. She let out a scream of surprise. Although it was drowned by James's exclamations of happiness.

"HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND, GOOD MORNING GORGEOUS, HOW'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL?"

Lily didn't have time to react for James was now spinning them around the hall, as if he were waltzing, with Lily in his arms. And chanting happily.

"Lily Evans is my girlfriend!! My beautiful girlfriend!! And I want everyone to seeeee!!!!"

Lily could hear laughter, and could see the smiley faces of the ones around them. She recognized a few of her friends and her classmates. She even spotted some teachers.

Lily went bright red at the thought of being the center of attention. But she was happy. So happy that she laughed. She was a girlfriend, finally.

James stopped spinning, giving Lily a sweet kiss on the mouth. A kiss that would make any girl melt. And she fought the urge to run her fingers through his hair. They were in public.

"James!!" she protested when they pulled away. And Lily was giggling.

James was smirking like a fool. Like he won the lottery. Like it was the happiest day of his life.

They just got together last night. Only last night. And Lily's heart was beating like a mini drum. She felt like she could love him.

The little crowd around them applauded. As James put her down. Lily's face was burning so she hid her blush. But James was a crowd person, he bowed like a true showman.

"Thank you, thank you" he said "Be used to the show of affection, everyone, because I will give this girl so much pampering" and he turned to look at her "Everything she deserves"

Lily felt like wild butterflies on her tummy as she smiled and grabbed his hand. Intertwining fingers.

She had wanted a Prince Charming all her life. And she couldn't believe she found him. Specially with James Potter. She couldn't believe a boy as handsome, funny, popular and romantic was her boyfriend. Hers and only hers. She was so lucky.

Plus their friends were friends and they were already whispering things among each other and laughing. And familiar faces seemed content with them being together. She heard whispers of : "Finally", "I knew it, didn't I tell you?", "They look so cute together", "Our Head Boy and Girl, how poetic".

Everything was perfect until she saw his face hidden in the shadows. Lily's smile disappeared. Severus's eyes were full of loath, hurt, and dispair. He looked so betrayed.

Even though they were not friends anymore, Lily felt a pang of guilt within her chest and her throat. And as Severus walked away furiously, she felt compelled to follow him. Luckily her hand was being grabbed by James.

"Ready to go to breakfast, love?" he asked unaware of what just happened. Nobody seemed to notice in fact. Maybe Lily had imagined Severus.

"Yeah, let's go" she gave a sweet smile to her boyfriend.

They walked hand in hand as they received compliments around.

[beansmack2021]

Baby's First Demon

TW: threats, possession, blood, knife, demon purposely injuring a host body

"Aw! Baby's first demon!" Dean laughed from the driver's seat of his '67 Chevy Impala. He drummed on the wheel to the beat of the song playing on the radio.

"Hey! It's not my fault! You're the one who'd only let me go on a hunt if it was just gonna be a salt and burn." You pouted, crossing your arms, but that only made your brothers laugh more. "You're 14. Way too young to be hunting demons." Sam peered over his shoulder at you.

"Now hang on, Sammy. Don't go getting all hypocritical on the kid. You helped us with a couple of black-eyes when you were 9." Before you could even open your mouth to say something about what you'd just learned, Dean glanced at you in the rearview mirror. You could only see his eyes, but that told you enough about how the rest of his face would read. "You shouldn't be involved with the family business at all. Period. 'Course, you're stubborn as all hell, so it's not like we can stop you from going out and doing it on your own if we told you no."

You grinned sheepishly. You knew your brothers had your best interest at heart. You also knew that they would lose their minds if something happened to you. Even though you wanted to move on to bigger, badder things, you'd have to go the pace they'd set for you or Dean would drink away his dispair and Sammy would have an aneurysm.

"Should just be the one, but if things get sticky, get yourself out of there. Got it?" Sam asked the question, but Dean's eyes were the ones that seemed to bore into your own as he put the car in park.

"Don't try to play some sort of hero, Bug. Dean and I, we've been doing this a while. Even we don't always know what to expect." This was a plea and a warning. They couldn't guarantee that they'd be able to get you out if things went wrong. If someone was hurt (or worse), the others wouldn't be able to do much for them. If one thing could be said about the Winchesters, it'd be that they're all a bunch of self-sacrficing assholes.

You climbed out of the car, trying to close the door quietly enough so there wasn't a chance the demon would have heard you. Dean gave you one last look that said "If you die, I'll kill you" and handed you a gun and a flask of holy water.

The building was very, very old, the steps creaking as the three of you made your way to the door. Dean pushed it open slowly with his foot, both hands on his gun. You felt as though you were inhaling a cloud of dust as you followed behind him, reciting the Latin your brothers had made you memorize before you were allowed to come on this hunt to yourself.

After several minutes of searching and silence, Dean dropped his hands to his side. "I guess it's not here."

"Maybe it heard us coming and went out the back" you offered. You'd wished that was the case as something dripped onto your face from above. You slowly looked up and felt your heart plummet as you were met with a wide, toothy grin and a pair of pitch black eyes. You shrieked as it dropped, taking you to the floor and pinning you beneath itself. You struggled to keep the knife it was trying to plunge into your chest back, panicking as you tried to shout out the incantation to exorcize the demon.

"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus-" the demon moved one hand from the hilt of the knife it was holding and tried to cover your mouth. You heard gunshots and felt the cold and clammy host body go limp on top of you.

----------------------------------------------------------

"Hey! Hey, kiddo! You okay?" Dean helped you push the heavy, dead body off of yourself and was relieved that you seemed alright, at least physically. Your face crumpled and you started crying as Dean pulled you to your feet and into his arms. You shook for a moment, your sobs getting louder and louder, and then suddenly becoming wicked cackling.

Dean pulled away, confusion etched into every part of his face. You were looking down at the blade in your hand, pointed at your own stomach. "Y/N?" You slowly met his gaze, your eyes completely black and your grin sinister as you titled your head to one side. Dean pointed his gun at you, or rather, the demon possessing you, but the demon just tutted. "Dean, I think you and I both know you could never shoot Bug, here."

"Exorcizamus-" Sam could barely get the word out before the demon slowly started to push the tip of the blade into your abdomen. It hissed a bit in pain. "Ah ah, Sammy. You try to get rid of me, and I kill her." His jaw clenched as he closed his mouth. He looked at Dean, waiting to see what the next move would be.

"What do you want from us?" Dean had lowered his gun, slowly twisting the cap to his own flask of holy water. "Suffering" the demon hissed out. "You Winchesters have caused a lot of problems for us down in Hell. Now it's time to even the score." The demon slowly moved the blade up to your face, running it across your cheek. You grimaced, and then the demon smirked.

"She's awake, by the way. She can feel, hear, see and even smell everything. Including this" without warning, the demon plunged the knife into your thigh. You screamed. "Dean! It hurts!" The demon forced your face into another smile, forcing you back into the recesses of your own consciousness.

"You son of a bitch! Leave her alone or I swear to God-" Dean took a step forward and the demon held up the knife again. "You swear to God what? You'll kill me? Send me straight back to Hell? I've already accepted that I'll probably be gone when this is said and done, but at least I'll be taking one of the infamous Winchesters with me. The baby, no less!"

Dean pulled the flask from his back pocket, dousing the demon in holy water as Sam restarted the incantation. It hissed in pain, but just before Sam could finish chanting, the demon slammed the knife into your abdomen. "No!"

Black smoke poured from your mouth and was sent through the floor, charring the wood, and you collapsed. Dean scooped you up into his arms almost as quickly as you hit the ground, putting pressure on the stab wound. "De" you coughed out some blood. "De, I'm scared." Dean cursed. "I know, Baby. I know you're scared, but I need you to stay with me, okay?" He silently started praying to anyone or anything. He begged Castiel to show up, to help you. Nothing.

"Alright, we need to get you out of here. Find somewhere to patch you up." Before Dean could stand up with you, Sam put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head. "She's not gonna make it, Dean" he mumbled, a tear rolling down his cheek. "Don't say that. Don't fucking say that! She has to."

You coughed again, slowly raising a shaky hand. You put one hand on his cheek, the other on his chin, just as you did when you were a baby. You smiled weakly, blood dribbling down your chin. "I love you" you rasped out. Dean shook his head. "Quit acting like this is goodbye. You're gonna be fine, Squirt." You shook your head sadly, a tear dripping from his chin onto your face. "Not this time. I love you, Sammy." Sam inhaled sharply. "I love you, too, Honey." You smiled and looked Dean directly in the eyes. "I love you, Dean." Dean was silent for a three count before he let out a sob. "I love you, too, Baby." You sighed one last time, closing your eyes, and went limp in Dean's arms.

[lily-lilibeth]

Safe and Sound

A/N: A small Reylo piece I wrote long ago and wanted to share here.

Summary: Ben is getting nightmares every night about Rey dying in front of him. Is up for his life companion and wife to comfort him and aleviate his pain and fear.

I do not own Star Wars nor its characters.

You thought you could save her?

Foolish child, I expected better from you! And now you will see what happens to those who disobey me.

Ben Solo whimpered slightly as he thrashed in bed, this was the third night in a row that he kept having these nightmares. His Rey, his life companion, his wife, the love of all his life.

Watch her die before you as punishment!

"N-no, Rey..." He whimpered again and tried his dammest to wake up from his nightmare, he can't move, he felt his breath caught in his lungs. He can't move and won't be able to save Rey!

With a movement of his finger, Supreme Leader Snoke snapped Rey's neck with the Force in front of his apprentice.

Now turn your dispair into anger, ignite it. You just lose her!

Ben jerked away and coughed, sitting up in bed. "REY!" His breathed is caught in his throat as he whimpers and hyperventilates, Rey... she just died again, he lost the woman that he loved.

"Ben, hey, Ben!" Rey now has her hands on her husband's shoulders. "Ben, you're okay, you're okay, it's only a nightmare." Her concerned and soothing voice was what brought Ben back to reality and he looked at his wife, there was fear in his eyes, like a fear that he had not felt ever since a long time ago. His brown eyes locked into her hazel eyes, and almost automatically he drew the woman into his arms.

"Rey..." He whispered, holding Rey in almost possessive way as if he was scared that she would disappear the next second he let her go from his tight embrace. "...Don't leave me... I... I wouldn't take it, I can't live without you..." His voice cracked a little, and he felt something wet roll down his cheeks. Tears. He had started crying. "P-Please..." He sobbed softly.

"Ben..." Rey understood now. His nightmare was about her again, just like the past few days where he would wake up in the morning and look so scared and shattered. Her arms wrapped around his back and she held him closer. "I'm right here with you, I'll never leave you. My home is here with you." Her hands cupped his damp cheeks and her hazel eyes looked into his teary brown eyes.

"How... how can I be sure? I'm scared Rey..." Ben was never one to show his emotions openly, he'd learned long ago not to be driven by emotion, currently though, he was quite scared, so hurt and uncertain of what would happen next. "If I lose you... I..."

"Shh," Rey cut him off by holding him closer to him, putting his head in her chest, close to where her heart was, it was beating calmly and gently. Her beating heart was right there, she was alive. Alive and here with him, it was going to be alright, it had to. Rey had to be alright. "It's alright, everything will be alright, Ben. I'm right here, you will not lose me." She whispered into his ear, her hands both caressing his dark hair and his back as he comforted him. "Snoke is dead, you killed him, Ben. He cannot hurt us anymore." She spoke with sincerity. "You're alright, I'm right, my love." She continued with her soothing actions. Ben leaned in her touch.

"Rey, I love you so much. I love no other woman aside you, I must protect you." Even with his teary, broken voice, Ben vowed himself to protect his wife to the best of his ability. It had to be this way, he couldn't bare to lose the love of his entire life. They had come this far to be separated by destiny. Screw destiny or fate, Ben was not going to lose his beloved Rey.

Rey smiled, knowing this was the protective and loving Ben that she loved and adored. "I know you will, Ben."

Ben looked up into her hazel eyes after a while of being nested in her arms and having his face into her chest. "I promise you."

With that he leant in, letting his lips meet with Rey's. They both held each other close as they shared one passionated kiss.

Ben now knew that no matter how scary and painful his nightmares were, they were just nightmares and not a real thing. He would not lose Rey, not now and never.

Without a doubt, he would have Rey until death did them apart, even in the afterlife they would be together and nothing was changing that.

[dracwife]

Idk if ur still taking them but 🩸 and 🤝 for Astarion! Hope ur well :o) -hamsterwife

thank u ! hope ur evening is going well : ]

🩸 - "is that blood?" + 🤝 - "let me help you, please."

"Darling, for as mysterious a creature as you put yourself out to be, you are not very subtle."

"What does that mean?"

Astarion scoffs, fingers curling gently into the hair of his lover, carding through the raven locks, taking a particular care and gentleness at each knotted tangle that lay on the underside of the sorcerer's mane.

"It means, my dear, your heart could simply not beat any louder."

"Well, that's really no fault of mine, is it? You and your vampiric hearing, and whatnot. Is it an elf thing as well?"

"Dearest, you are an elf."

"Ah, half-elf, and perhaps in a different life. This body does not perceive the world anymore in ways that you are familiar with, I assure you. I've no better hearing than the human spirit that still lingers clouded in my heart this evening. And so it has been as such for many years," they shift in the rogue's lap, sitting slightly more up-right so that their back may lean against the other's chest, "Until it vacates my mind completely, I've not a single advantage over the average human senses."

"A roundabout way to admit you're growing old, love."

"Maybe so. But what, pray tell, draws your attention so close to me now? I can guess my heart flutters no more or less on the average night with you."

"I'm just --"

"Hungry?"

"Parched. The hunger never subsides, as you well know by now."

Il-Mourruirí's head falls gently to the side as the ponder, though the longer they sit that way the more Astarion wonders himself if it is more or less an invitation. The fire crackles and snaps as the thought crosses his mind, nearly assuaging him there in the cool eve. The distant, but steady breathing of the rest of the dozing group stops him. Perhaps it is not the place. He feels then, a strange sensation worming -- quite literally -- its way into his mind. And shortly after, a voice, dripping with that strange accent and cadence that he has grown so fond of.

"Let me help you."

A hand, the hand of his lover snakes around the back of his own neck, pulling him just a tad closer in his moment of hesitation, an explicit invitation now, a plead, even. Perhaps just a taste --

But he stops himself as his breath fans their neck, fangs bared. His teeth drag across their skin, but do not break it. Instead, he places a gentle kiss just below the beating of their pulse. Though he retains his composure upright, his hands pull then just a little bit closer, fingers tug just a little harder at their hair.

They sigh, and roll off of him, disappearing much to Astarion's dispair; But they return after a moment, and produce a small bottle, unlabelled and dark.

"Is that...?"

"Blood."

"Where did you get it?"

"I must keep some secrets, you know, or else it's no fun. I am, after all, a 'creature of mystery,' I believe is how you said it?"

"Perhaps it's for the better, then."

They press a kiss to the top of his head, where wild silver curls after a long day of travel and fighting, mumbling something of "Perhaps it is," before retreating to their shared tent.

Astarion looks at the bottle, then towards the tent.

"Ah," he finally sighs, uncorking the thing, "Best not look a gift Worg in the mouth."

[babydaddyleorio]

when they cry (izuku , bakugo , kirishima)

summary: short drabbles where your boyfriend is at their lowest and you’re there to lift them back up.

Characters mentioned: Izuku Midoriya , Katsuki Bakugo, and Eijiro Kirishima

Warnings: Angst, cursing, self-deprication, injuries, grammatical errors

Izuku

Tears weren’t foreign to Izuku, you knew that and he knew that. In fact, Izuku tends to reveal his emotions a great deal when he’s around you because he trusts you enough to accept his vulnerability.

That is why after striving for weeks to coordinate a tactical plan that would stop the league of villains from carrying out their mission, Izuku was left shattered with watery eyes when everything he worked so hard to accomplish ended up failing. He knew that his peers depended on him to carry out their ambush successfully, so he felt fully responsible for the league of villains being able to escape and cause widespread damage to the city.

He briefly remembered dropping to his knees with his ears ringing from all the explosions that had sounded off around him. He sat there with a far away look on his face as his wide eyes stared into the black sky, thinking about all the lives that were lost today because of him.

You heard a subtle knock come from your front door at a late hour and you would slightly crack It to peak at who It was, but you’d be taken aback at Izuku standing on your doorstep with his bottom lip quivering. His clothes were in shambles and scrapes were etched all across his pained face. You gasped at the state he was in and opened your door as wide as It could go.

“I failed, y/n.” Izuku’s voice was shaky and the way he looked down at his trembling hands was enough to make you grab his arm and drag him into your house. You closed the door behind you and led the jittery boy to your couch, you having to push him down since It seemed like he was too out of It to sit on his own.

“It hurts so much knowing that I was the cause of all of this.” Izuku suddenly spoke into the living room’s air, completely toneless. You sat next to Izuku and put your hands in his cold ones, hoping that you could snap him out of this.

“Izuku, you were not the reason that this happened. Do not blame yourself.”

“But It is my fault, y/n!” Izuku abruptly turned to face you, his tone getting slightly higher. He was crying and his expression was that of a broken person’s. Izuku’s tears weren’t foreign to you, but the way his eyes bore into you as he continued to cry was a sight that you had never seen before. Your heart pulsated as you watched Izuku’s shoulders slump while he began to weep even harder.

You scooted your body closer to him and brought the pad of your thumb to his cheek so you could swipe the tear that had fallen down. Izuku’s shaking faltered once you did that and he slowly looked up at you with a crimson nose and big, puffy eyes blanketing his face.

“If you need to cry, let It all out. Let everything out that’s hurting you, Izuku.” You said while opening your arms which resulted in Izuku’s loud sobbing filling the room. He threw himself on you and buried his face in your chest, gripping your T-shirt in his balled up fist. You held him tightly as you laid back on the couch, Izuku clinging on to you as If his life depended on It.

Bakugo

Bakugo stood in the shower, resting his forehead against the tiled wall as lukewarm water cascaded down his clothed back. He felt numb, or better yet, he felt so overwhelmingly inept that nothing could even come close to hurting him as much as the events that transpired these last few days. 

He squeezed his eyes together as he recounted just how weak he was. He had allowed himself to get kidnapped and he was so useless that he needed an entire rescue team just to come and save his ass.

He banged a fist against the wall as the water droplets began to beat down harder on his skin to the point of It feeling like bullets were grazing him.

He was furious at himself for being so powerless against those league bastards because now he was faced with the harsh reality that he wasn't as invincible as he thought he was. Not to mention all the humiliation he now had to bear when he stepped foot outside his house.

“Katsuki, you alright?” You knocked on the door and when you didn’t get an answer, you hesitantly reached your hand to grab the golden handle. Bakugo had been in the bathroom for a good 45 minutes now and you were starting to become beyond worried, especially after everything that’s just happened to him. 

“I’m coming in.” You announced as you pushed the door open and walked into the stuffy room, but your eyebrows raised in shock once you saw that Bakugo was standing motionless in the shower with his back turned towards you.

“What are you doing?” You asked with your voice slightly startled but he said nothing in return. You then hesitantly treaded towards him, but all of your movement ceased once you heard the manic laughter of Bakugo suddenly flood your ears.

“It’s funny, isn’t It?” Bakugo asked out loud, still chuckling lowly to himself. You weren’t sure what he was referring to and you were also too nervous to ask. Bakugo turned himself around to face you, you finally getting sight of the twisted smile on his face as trails of tears dropped from his eyes. “I was so pathetic back then y/n.” Bakugo said, the sides of lips twitching as he still kept his smile. “I bet everyone laughed at me like this.”

You couldn’t stop your legs as you jumped in the shower, tightly wrapping your arms around Bakugo. You didn’t care that you were getting wet, all you cared about was helping your boyfriend still keep an ounce of sanity.

“I was worried sick about you, the last thing on my mind was laughing.” You said and you felt Bakugo’s body rumble at your words.

“Worried?” Bakugo snorted while clenching his fists. “I really am useless, huh?” You heard him whisper under his breath and you moved your body to grab his head so he could look at you. 

“Will you stop acting like that! You are not weak Katsuki and none of this was your fault!” You sucked in a deep breath, anger now consuming your being. “Are you really going to let what happened have control over you or are you going to get your head out of your ass and overcome this?” You asked while moving your face closer to his, the feeling of his uneven breath grazing your cheeks. Bakugo’s lips curled as he clenched his jaw, not being able to stop the nuisance tears that were steadily falling from his eyes. You turned your body around and turned the water completely off, but you blinked once you felt arms wrap around your body while you were still bent over. Bakugo hugged you tighter and you grabbed his wet arms that were wrapped around you, squeezing them with assurance.

 “Thanks... I needed that.”

Kirishima

Kirishima felt utterly useless as he laid on the stretcher, watching as the countless civilians sat on the ground severely injured. The air around him reeked of burnt smoke and overwhelming dispair; both aroma’s managed to suffocate him profoundly.

He bawled his fist at his sides and gritted his teeth, sharply turning his head away from all the turmoil. Through weak eyes, he caught sight of you running towards him, still wearing your hero uniform. He examined you briefly, thanking the God’s above that you weren’t hurt.

“Kirishima, are you okay?” You asked with concern laced in your voice as you surveyed the open wounds that decorated your boyfriend’s body. You reached to touch his arm but he quickly snatched It away from. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as you slowly brought your hand back to your side.

Kirishima stayed silent as he looked down to the gravel ground, his vibrant red hair shielding his face from your view.

 “I couldn’t save them.” 

You frowned deeply, already knowing what he was referring to. Kirishima has been patrolling the area when suddenly the building behind him caught on fire. He immediately went to go and save as many people as he could, but Kirishima could only do so much by himself, especially after sustaining as much damage as he did when inhaling all the toxic chemicals that were in that building.

“I tried to y/n, I really tried but I-” You heard Kirshima’s voice crack and you stepped forward just as he lifted his head, his hair finally moving so you could see his face. Your mouth became dry once you saw the tears falling from his eyes as his body shook with harshly. “But I just couldn’t.”

You immediately brought Kirishima’s body to your chest, being careful not to irritate any of his injuries.

“This wasn’t your fault, Kirishima. You gave It all that you could.” You whispered as you kissed his hair and held his head to your chest. Kirishima shook his head in disagreement, and you felt your uniform become wet from his crying. 

You brought Kirishima’s body back and wiped his tears with both of your hands. Kirishima looked so broken in that moment and It pained you to see how he was blaming this situation on himself. He had fought hard rescuing all those people showing how much of a hero he truly was. 

“You were brave Kirishima, and you jumped in to help when no one else did. These people are thankful for you and your efforts.” You said and put your forehead against his. “And If you ask me, that was the most manly thing I’ve ever seen.” 

Kirshima closed his eyes tightly, one last tear slid down his ash covered cheek.

“Can we stay like this a little longer?” He asked you and you nodded your head, your foreheads still pressed together.

“I’m not going anywhere, Kiri.”

[milesducemdominus]

@forgedbyduty

He'd not been able to settle for weeks, the ache within the confines of his chest not having alleviated in the slightest. Just two evenings prior had b he attended the engagement party where folk swanned around with their graces and congratulations and though the commander had a smile upon his face, he'd not been able to lift his gaze from from the ground the entire time. Aymeric simply hadn't had the strength to look - to see Artoirel in his pairing, to further solidify the fact that there was utterly naught he could do, now, to say anything that wohkd matter. It had all gone too far - - chance after chance had passed him by before any mention of the arranged vows were bought to the light of day and he'd been too frightened to take any of them. Now he flooded with regret.

The wall home had been lonely, the cold of the wind matching the agony of his chest. The slow beat of his heard offered up only further discomfort as heartbreak continued to Rob him of concentration of sleep. Having it all struck forth in reality that eve was too much for Aymeric of whom lay awake all hours of the night simply replaying all he had seen, all he had heard.

A few days away from both the congregation and the house of Lords had been under the intention of resting entirely. To grt back on his feet, swallow down his emotions and get a grip on what he needed to do - instead, he found himself pouring the very pains of his soul into a letter - one he intended to not send. It was a simple task to try and get it all out and yet the more he wrote, the more he yearned.

Then came contemplating it in its entirety - should he send it? His heart thumped with ferocity at yes and yet guilt clouded his very consciousness. This was Artoirel's chance at a happy future, at a family - did Aymeric want to potentially tear it all apart because of his own emotions? He'd potentially lose a friend - one that had dragged him from all variety of heavy darkness.

In the end, he sank further into his own pit of dispair and absolute depression and ultimately, sent it. By evening courier of one of his very own men did it make its way to Fortemps Manor and from the point it left did Aymeric distance himself to his bedroom in an attempt to sleep.

Artoirel.

My apologies that this letter likely lacks answers to a great many questions that you shall no doubt have and I can only hope I have the strength to answer them in time, for you.

I wanted to offer explanation for my bizarre behaviour, of which you have no doubt noticed on occasion over the past few weeks. Pray, be reassured that it was nothing caused by actions upon your part. You have done absolutely naught wrong and I only hope you can forgive me for the way I handled myself so awfully.

There is something I have been hiding, quite intently for some time and I feel as if there shall never be a right moment to release it. I believe all of those opportune moments to have already passed me and now I face only damage control. Know that I have spent far too long contemplating my options and ultinately I took the risk of a full explanation mainly due to me believing you deserve it. I do, however, fear the end of our friendship, in the very least - and though the thought of such petrifies me quite hideously, I must utter it.

Artoirel, I love you. I have done so for quite some time and never quite knew when to mention such - never seemed the right moment and the next I knew of was your pending engagement. I couldn't derail years worth of understandings - and so I swallowed it deeper and acted as if I wasn't deeply hurt. I'm afraid I find myself unable to pretend any longer - the truth eats away more of me each day and I find myself lacking the strength to conceal my emotions in person. I feared that no matter my choice I risked losing your companionship - be it through truth or through behaviour and thus had to take the chance.

I cannot apologise enough. I do not deserve either your foregiveness or corrispondence and thus I expect neither, you need not worry.

Always and faithfully,

- Aymeric .

[radishaur]

hi! may i request Zuko x gender neutral reader with a prompt of: “you’re pretty cute when you’re nice” “what am I when I’m not nice” “hot”

I love this idea! I’m gonna set this as a Firelord Zuko thing because I just love me some Firelord Zuko. Who doesn’t?

•••

Reparations (Zuko x Gender Neutral Reader)

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst (like TINY angst)

Part: 1/1

Summary: See request

•••

The town looked drastically different than how it looked the last time he had been here. The streets were bustling with life, the town itself looked more structurally sound, and the atmosphere was no longer suffocatingly tense. His presence, however, seemed to bring at least a tiny bit of that tension back.

As he walked through the streets, he did his best to smile at everybody and be as careful as possible. Some of them recognized him but none of them said anything. That didn’t really matter to him, though. He was only there for one person and he knew exactly where they would be at this time.

Walking up to a tiny bakery, he couldn’t help but smile as the familiar smell of freshly baked bread wafted out of the door. He smoothed down his clothing nervously before mustering up the courage to go inside. He told the guards to wait outside to he could have some privacy.

“I’ll be out in a moment!” you called from the back room.

The sound of your voice made him more nervous than beforehand, cementing the fact that he was actually here and that he had to repair all the damages he had done. His breath caught in his throat as his eyes finally landed on you.

You had flour dusting your face and a bright cheery smile that sent a symphony of butterflies off in his chest. Unfortunately for him, your smile immediately dropped into an expression of shock. He smiled nervously and waved.

“Hi.”

He wanted to kick himself. He came halfway across the world to try and make amends and hi was all he could come up with? This was not off to a good start.

You blinked back in response, letting his presence register before your open mouth shut into a firm line and you met his nervous greeting with a cold hard glare. If he wasn’t sweating already, he was now.

“What the hell are you doing here?” you asked through gritted teeth.

“W-Well uh...now that I’m the Firelord, I thought it would be a good idea to revisit some of the places I traveled and make amends with the people I hurt. So...,” he trailed off, not sure where to go from there.

“You’ve gotten even more dense if you think I’m going to forgive you,” you seethed angrily.

He could almost see smoke billowing out of your nose. If you were a firebender, he didn’t doubt you would be spitting fire from your mouth as you spoke.

“If you’re not going to buy anything then get out.”

He winced slightly but didn’t fight back. He simply looked over the menu quickly and picked the first thing he saw. You disappeared into the kitchen to warm up his order and returned a few minutes later with his order in a paper bag.

You thrust it unceremoniously into his hands and told him his total, voice void of emotion. He handed over the money like asked and watched nervously as you put it into the register. He swallowed.

“I-“ he began before getting cut off.

“I’m not interested in anything you have to say!” you interrupted angrily.

“Please. I know I’ll never be able to fix everything and take it back, but at least give me the chance to apologize. Five minutes and then you’ll never have to see me again,” he begged, desperate for you to agree.

He watched you stop to think it over, holding his breath and trying to get a read on you. Having Toph here would have been a great idea. Finally, you sigh and look up to meet his eyes.

“My shift ends in an hour. You know where to meet me.”

Elated, he spews a million thank you’s out before rushing out of the shop. He gave whatever he had ordered to one of his bodyguards, not interested in eating it in the slightest. Right now, he was focused on preparing.

He walked around the market place of the village and couldn’t help thinking of the last time he had been here. You had found him sleeping behind the bakery and offered him a place to sleep. He had begrudgingly taken you up on the offer and was less than pleased to have been dragged to the market place the next day. Something about a favor for a favor.

He also remembered you stopping by a cart that sold various flowers and remarking that you always loved the way lillies smelled. At first, he had thought it weird, but after he had left you, he couldn’t stop smelling them. A small part of him said it was because it reminded him of you but he muffled that voice quickly.

He was here to make amends not court you.

With a small amount of blush dusting his cheeks, he managed to buy a small bouquet of lillies. Not because he liked you. Just to apologize. Yea, that was all. He found himself beginning to doubt that.

One hour later, Zuko was standing at the outskirts of town, right by the forest. Eventually, out you came, eyeing him suspiciously as he waved. He couldn’t stop the flutter in his chest as he noticed how good you looked. It was like the sun was illuminating you. He cleared his throat when he was caught staring and held out the flowers.

“They’re for you. As a thank you for meeting me,” he mumbled, an innocent smile on his face.

You couldn’t help but stifle a grin and take the flowers. As if on cue, you raised them up to your nose and sniffed, sighing in satisfaction. Your smile up at him made his heart stop.

“You remembered,” you said softly.

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly and nodded. You rolled your eyes and set off down the path that lead into the forest. He followed after, eventually pacing himself to stay by your side.

“So, you wanted to talk?” you said, snapping him back to reality.

“R-Right. Well, I wanted to apologize for...for being such an asshole. You were nothing but kind to me and I ruined that. I’m really truly sorry,” he said honestly, looking down with what he hoped was an open, honest expression.

Judging by the way you gave a small smile and looked ahead, he would say he did.

“Yea, you were kind of a jerk,” you said with the air of a laugh before you became more serious and asked, “Why did you do that, anyway?”

He didn’t need to ask to know what you were referring to. He sighed and looked to his side to see you, patiently waiting for an answer as the two of you continued walking to your destination.

“I was scared. It’s a shitty excuse, I know. But it didn’f seem as shitty in the moment,” he admitted sheepishly.

You stayed silent as the pair of you finally reached the small clearing. There was a small wooden bench that sat by a small pond. He smiled, remembering all the evenings the two spent sitting by the pond. The two of you sat down together before you spoke.

“You really hurt my feelings, you know.”

He winced. That was to be expected. Thinking back to their last conversation, he was surprised that was all you had said. He had spewed some terrible bullshit about how you lived in a perfect bubble where nothing was wrong. That you should join him in the real world for once.

He still couldn’t erase the pained look his words had caused from his mind. He also couldn’t even begin to forgive himself, so he highly doubted that you would either.

“I really am sorry. I was just so scared of opening up and getting hurt that I shut you out and ran away. I was too afraid of my feelings,” he said softly, eyes staring into the clear pond water.

“...Feelings?” you asked hesitantly.

“Yea. If I’m being honest, I’m still scared. I’ve spent the entire past few months trying to convince myself I didn’t like you, but that’s been failing miserably,” he sighed, chuckling slightly at his own dispair, “I just hope I can make it up to you.”

He braved a glance over at you to see you smiling. You were still clutching the flowers to your chest as well. His heart skipped a beat as you laughed. It was a happy laugh that filled his heart with warmth.

“Well. Would you look at that? You’re pretty cute when you’re nice.”

It took him a minute to process your words. He has a million thoughts running through his head as he felt himself malfunctioning. He sputtered around for a few moments before managing to speak.

“What am I when I’m not nice?” he asked hesitantly, voice holding a hint of confusion.

You actually flat out laughed at that point, which caused a burning red flush of embarrassment to wash over him and color his cheeks and neck. Even the tips of his ears burned.

“Hot,” you said decidedly.

This caused him to gape, his blush growing more furiously. Reality finally caught up to him and he grasped the gravity of the situation.

“Wait. Does that mean-“ he began to ask before being cut off by a short kiss on the cheek.

You returned to your sitting position, smiling lightly with a blush of your own. He couldn’t stop the smile he was holding back from breaking out onto his face.

“You’re a real character, you know that?” you asked with a giggle.

“But you like me anyways?”

You smiled. He could swear his heart melted on the spot at your response.

“Undoubtedly so.”

[chappedandfadedvds]

Nov 6th, Friday 00:10

Starting with notes, huh?

well usually I don’t give songs to these clips, only one for the weekly chapter. though I have a spotify playlist for this, and I wrote this chapter to this song on repeat at 2 am at night... so I’d recommand doing the same for this and the next clip. it is the weekly song as well Agnes Obel - Familiär

__ __ __

Never in his life had Jens been downstairs as fast as he was this night. Heart beating vast in his chest to a degree that should be worriying. Two steps at once. Three steps at once. His hand had found the door knob blind, as his eyes were transfixed on the shadow outside, behind the milky little window. He only wore his sweats and barely managed to grab a shirt to throw over before opening the door.

There he stood. Lucas. Hair damp from the light rain he had walked through. Perhaps rain was just about to become their weather. A nervous smile graced his lips, as his eyes darted up and down from the ground at their feet to Jens’s face.

It suddenly hit him, that he was here at his house at midnight on a thursday.

„You know that there is a curfew in place?“ Jens tried casualy as he wasn’t sure what to expect from this awfully dreamlike situation. Maybe it was just that, and Jens was actually fast asleep in his bed upstairs.

Lucas grinned at his words, before he reconsidered and pressed his lips shut into a thin line, thinking.

He looked up then, finally meeting Jens’s gaze.

„I almost was here on time, so I think I am safe. I’ve even got my own pair of sweats this time.“

The implication left Jens at a loss for words. So much so that Lucas swallowed uncomfortably before resuming to explain his sudden appearance after three days of ontensible avoidence.

„I’m leaving for Utrecht tomorrow at 10 and I won’t be back til late sunday evening. And knowing I won’t be able to see you, I decided to come here. It was a bit on a whim to be honest. But I think we need to talk.“ Jens only nodded silently. 

„Also,“ Lucas proceeded to take his backpack from his shoulder, to open it up. Jens found him pulling out a paper box, that had been placed at the top inside. The lid was off the next second and it presented Jans with a store brought piece of cake, that definitely had seen better days. It’s tip very much dented, buttercream spread throughout the box itself. It was the cutest and best gift he had ever gotten, as it hold a single candle and a small written note: Happy birthday

Lucas cleared his throat, which made Jens look up, to find the boy infront of him blushing slightly as he actually began to sing a birthday song to him. In a whisper so soft that the rain almost swallowed it up. Jens stared at him mesmerised, as he was hit by a whirwind of emotions. From absolute adoration over this boy to confusion and dispair, beacuse not just fifteen minutes ago, he was so sure that Lucas ignored him and that Jens had fucked it all up.

„Fuck, forgot to light the candle.“ Lucas exclaimed startled. And Jens decided to just let this minute take him whereever this would go. So he laughed and leaned forward, closing his eyes and blowing the flame out in pretence. Once his eyes were back on Lucas, he was greeted by another wide smile, this time it stayed, until the boy across of Jens shivered. The lightness of the moment gone with it.

„I can also go. This might have been a stupid idea to begin with.“ Lucas rushed his words out, trying to  cover up his nervosity, about to flee from Jens’s frontstep.

„We just have to be quiet, when we go upstairs, don’t want to wake my mom or sister at this time. I agree. We should talk.“ Jens stepped aside to let the boy in, who took off his shoes and then both of them were tiptoeing up the stairs, only daring to speak again, once the door to Jens’s room closed behind them.

Lucas put his backpack at the foot of the bed, before sitting down on it, the box with the cake carefully placed beside him. Jens followed him to take a seat on the other side. The two of them looking anywhere but at each other

„I’m sorry.“ They both said almost in unison, making them giggle at the odd coincidence.

„Why are you apologising? I was the one who kissed the girl.“ Jens said confused, risking a glance over. Lucas was kneading his hands, seemingly sorrowful, for a reason Jens didn’t understand. 

He waited. And waited. And waited.

As long as it took for Lucas to give him an answer.

He got one in from of another question.

„What do you want out of this?“ 

„I...ehm...I don’t get it. What?“ Jens replied and bent down to try to get a better look at the boys face staring in to the folded hands in his lap.

„I promised myself, when I came here, I wouldn’t fall for the straight guy again.“ Lucas was barely able to keep his voice from trembling as his eyes looked dangerously close to get teary. It became clear to Jens that maybe he had gotten it all wrong, that the boy hadn’t ignored him solely for a misguided kiss.

„The others had talked so much over all your female conquests after Moyo had seen you with that girl. I’m not sure if I made this between us into more than it really is. In Utrecht I was in love for so long with my best friend who was straight. But he was always so close, and touching, and jokingly flirting with me, that I could almost imagine more, when there never was a chance for it to happen. And I really don’t want to go through this again. I can’t“ Lucas seemed to have collected enough courage to look up at Jens, with tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. It broke Jens’s heart. „I really can’t, Jens. I can’t, so if you are just playing around, or are curious but not actually interested, or are just that close with your firends, please, let me know, so I can stop hoping for more.“

Jens had been uncertain about his feelings for the last week, shocked by it’s surprising appearence, as he never deemed it possible to yearn for another boy in this way. That was until this moment right here, listening to the boy’s distress. For whatever reason his heart had decided on Lucas and Jens would just have to accept it. Labels be damned.

He took a deep breath, before reaching over to place his hand on Lucas’s, taking hold of it.

„I don’t know what I am, to be honest, but I know that you are not falling for a straight guy it looks like.“

There was the second of utter silence between them, as they hold their breath over the realisation that Jens had just thrown his strongly believed sexuality out of the window. Good riddance, he thought as in an blink of an eye, Lucas began to cry, dropping his head onto Jens’s shoulder, the boy’s hands grabbing onto the fabric of his shirt, leaving Jens to do the only thing he could think of. He pulled the crying boy into a tight embrace, trying to hold both of them upright. Gently kissing the top of his head as good as Jens could from that angle.

He supposed that he wouldn’t really catch much sleep tonight. His alarm would ring at 6:30, just enough time to get Lotte ready for school and drop her off. So roughly six hours left.

And for the first time, in a long, long time, he didn’t mind at all.

[jonny-r217]

Honestly, if you’re suddenly dreading Yom Kippur you have not been living right.

I know I’ve erred through the year (just as I have in years past). I know there’s commandments I’ve forsaken; actions I’ve done out of spite, willfull disobedience, or outright apathy. But I am not feeling repentant. Not today, at least.

I have the haunted echoes and the nagging guilt chained to me at every turn. I have the pangs of regret for a me I was versus the me I am, but only in part, only at times. And not nearly enough to beat my chest at each על חט.

סלחתי

Always in the past tense. For we assume that’s what happened, since here we stand yet again this year, just as last, and likely so too next, and the next, and the next to come.

הנני העני

I’ve not been charitable enough. I’ve not been kind enough, warm enough, brave enough.

עשה עמנו

Perhaps it is not “for us” but actually as it is literally translated, with us. Perhaps the שכינה will once again rest upon these worndown shoulders, allowing us to be charitable and rightious with this world of so many broken vessels and lost hopes...

כי ענו בנך

And we are lost like יונהin the in the ever deeper pits of dispair and diaspora; we see all around the impending prophesy of doom, and somehow you Avinu Malkenu want us to repent?!

For that, above all, סלח לנו מחל לנו. For I am in the depths of the belly of the beast, and I am on my own, lost.

And so I stand before you, head high, because I know I will fall again. I know that the road is long, and stagnation means death. I know not how intricately involved you choose to be these days, but I know I need you to reveal yourself in some way to me, for I cannot keep this a one way conversation.

[monzterzack]

Dirk and Ryan please!

OOF THIS IS GONNA BE A BIT LONG

Let's start with dirk

Dirk Thompson is a 20 something year old on my comic, they are one of the only genualy kind and good hearted people in the entirety of this story

Dirk comes from a broken home of sorts their father left when they were little and they received most of the blame for it, due to the fact that they required a lot of attention and help, cause they didn't fit in with the other kids

They have a twin sister, charlie, who they have a complicated relationship with, when they live with their mother charlie used to take all her frustration on them, blaming Dirk for the neglect Charlie had to endure

Their life back then was restricted to now end, they where in a way the breadwinner but at the same time their mother treat them like if they where a child, most of their adolescence was spent locked in their room on the computer, or practicing the drums (which used to be their only outlet for frustration)

They get really passionate about things they find interesting, they can talk hours and hours of things they find cool or just fun, most people end up making fun of their passion and how carried away they get by it

This was one of the reasons why they started hating everything that bring them joy, specially the drums, which were their biggest talent, they grew resentful and just started losing their ability to play them until they just quit all together

They hit a pretty bad depressive episode on their last year of high school and ended up been held back for another year, this frustration added to the never ending stress at home from their mother losing her temper and often going off on them made them collapse and have an emotional breakdown in class

After that they had to talk with a psychiatrist who after a couple of test inform them that they were in the autistic spectrum, the revelation sort of gave them a bit of relief, tho it was short lived cause after the fact they started to grow more and more bitter

They didn't had friends at school, and their homelife was a mess, their family often shaming them of everything they did and feeling more trapped and without no escape

They planned to at least take retribution

In a moment of desperation they planned to do end their life and make it know of how much pain they where in, luckily they had been chatting online with a guy that turned out to be living in the same city, they had a solid friendship online, and noticing the red flags he managed to get Dirk's location and intervene, assuring them that things were going to get better, that guy was miles

After breaking down and talking openly with miles for half a day, Dirk admitted that they didn't wanted to die, they just wanted to get all the pain and bitterness out, that things only semeed to be getting worse and worse and they just wanted a second to breath and feel peace

Miles told them that they needed to get out of that place, and offered him to live with him on his parents place until Dirk managed to get back on their feet

Moving out was difficult, they didn't ended things right with neither their mother nor their sister, but they still moved out regardless

Once they where free they realized how different things were, they felt a pressure take off their chest and they even recovered their underlying passions, they also started experimenting with their gender and sexuality

To some extent they always knew they weren't cis nor straight, but the amount of shame they were under didn't leave them place to experiment, they just go back and forth between feminity and androgyny

After a while they realized they had a lot of feelings for miles, who by this point was their best friend and also roommate (since they both moved together to an appartment), and they wanted to have more of a relationship with him, currently they are on a relationship

Dirk is very understanding and chill, they sort of try to accommodate anyone that comes into their life, they still have a lot of social anxiety, which makes them avoid people and new situations, but once they get comfortable with someone they end up being incredibly close and open, they are a good listener, and often tries to offer solid advice, and a warm place to feel welcome, they are like a big comfort blanket and have a kind smile that makes most feel a bit more relaxed

---------------

Ryan is a whole bag of OOF, he comes from a bad bad very dark place

Orphaned at age 4, he was took in by his grandfather, who was a crime Lord, he wasn't accepted as one of the family but rather put as a sort of body guard for the youngest of his grandfathers sons, Dylan

Ryan and Dylan had a very close relationship, Dylan being the youngest didn't had anyone to spent time with that was his age, Ryan was very isolated as a child and didn't had time to play around and just be a normal kid, so both found on the other the perfect friend to be around

Dylan didn't like the way his family treated ryan, but he being a child was a bit blinded by what his father said, it was not til he saw the way his father took his anger on Ryan that Dylan snapped into reality

Ryan got mistreated and hurt a lot, he was always anxious and jittery, to some extent he was paranoid of messing up, this made him become incredibly scared and obedient to anyone that hold any sort of authority over him, including Dylan

His anxiety and stress got to the point of turning his natural dark hair to white

After Dylan started rebelling more and more against his father and standing up for Ryan to protect him, he was sent to a boarding school as far away as they could send him

After Dylan left Ryan was assigned to work as a Hitman, his natural abilities of lighting and speed becoming an asset to his grandfathers crime empire

After more and more of this missions he started dissociating more and more, the nature of them being so vile that he couldn't deal with the guilt he felt from being forced to work in this environment

After years of being in this situation he develop a series of disorders and unhealthy coping mechanism, the strongest one been shutting down and spacing out, before going cathatonic to avoid having to work all together

On the other side Dylan finally rebeled completely against his father and with the help of his partner and Micke he went to save Ryan from being held into a fighting ring

Once he was free, Ryan had a hard time adapting to normal everyday life, the silence and peace feeling overwhelmingly stressful on him, so he turned to learning to play heavy rock to fill the silence

Ryan haves an issue with how he internalized all the bad things he has done and often battles himself into fighting the impulses that he gained during his time on that hell, he is really sensitive and doesn't have much of a spine, he feels everything is a sign of the universe telling him that he is a monster and that he should end his life, he is often trapped in loops of magical thinking and self hate that beat him up and get him to a point of desperation where usually he just cries or shuts down entirely

His personality is very mellow, considering all, he is a very fluid person and adapts to everyone and anyone that stays close to him, his biggest traits are how kind and reasonable he is when it comes to others, he likes listening and learning, he haves a bit of a curious mind, specially when it comes to mechanics, mainly cause he likes desensambling machines and ensembling them back together

He likes being optimistic, even tho inside be is a black cloud of dispair, he enjoys making others smile and often focuses on everyone's good traits, tho sometimes it is a bit unhealthy cause he enables and forgives people that had done him wrong, his biggest aspiration is to just feel a bit less heavy on the inside and feeling less lonely and paranoid

[alinksta]

fleeting memories and an indelible misery

yesterday I was playing FFXV and at one point I began to wonder how Ardyn would be as a dad, and HOO BOI did I get so damn sad. So I decided to give him a daughter with plant magic that comes to haunt him just to make him suffer more. 

Ardyn pretends that he does not see the shadows of the roots that spread in his wake, nor how the plants bloom to their full splendor whenever he’s near any source of flora.

He tells himself that the chilling sensation of the grasp of a small hand on his callused one is nothing more than a phantom of an old fleeting memory, a reminder of what was left of his poor dented human heart.

He deceives himself and lives with the fabricated lie that the feeble echoing "Papa" that demands his attention is but an old stubborn memory that refuses to stay dead.

She's not real, he tells himself, over and over again; always ignoring the glimpse of red that he catches from the corner of his eye.

She is but a mirage—a specter—that the many demons that play with his head and have eaten away his heart have created to strip him of his hope and drag him into the void of rage and revenge.

They named her Celestia, because she was a gift from the heavens, and Ardyn loved her since the moment he knew she would come to the world.

She was born with magic more powerful than his’s, a living miracle of his lineage who had a natural affinity with plants; flowers were her favorite, seconded by fruits, and wherever he went, he always brought back with him seeds of any kind as a gift; she always made them bloom.

His wife passes in her sleep when Celestia is four; the both of them are devastated, but he grieves and moves on, for he cannot remain sad when his biggest joy is right next to him.

He takes her with him wherever he goes on his black Chocobo; he cures the sickness of the people, heals them so they can see another day.

Celestia, on the other hand, grows flowers in her wake, fortifies trees with her hands and enriches crops as her little feet walk down fields of vegetables and rice.

The world is in love with his little angel, they praise her and celebrate her existence as a blessing of the stars, and Ardyn couldn’t be more proud of her.

Then, the dreaded day that cursed his existence came.

He is insulted, dethroned, punished to live in unending darkness; his name is erased, his closest friends are killed, the gods curse every breath that he takes and his brother betrays him.

Somnus takes his little girl away from him.

His heart breaks as his darling daughter—the pride and joy of his life—is brusquely separated from him.

Her cries for him pierce his ears, her little hand reaching for him makes despair bloom in his heart, the fat tears that cascade down from her evergreen eyes make him feel like a failure, and not even the hopeless lies that he tells her (the lies that are meant to sound like reassurances) are enough to ease her fears.

That was the last time he saw her.

There are many shrines dedicated to her across the world, full of colors and flowers, adorned with glass pictures that try to resemble her in an ethereal way.

Yet they are unable to capture her charm and beauty.

It is quite unclear of how exactly she died; rumor has it that her magic became unresponsive and the backlash crippled her body; some say that she died of sadness, that sorrow and solitude made her sick and unresponsive until she breathed no more; others that she grew an immense field of flowers and exhausted herself to death.

Obscure readings said she chocked with flower petals from the vines that one day just grew on her throat.

But the popular tales say that death took her unaware and lulled her to sleep; just like her mother.

Many say there is a tomb hidden within a vast field where her remains rest, in a pool of flowers, where the plants preserved her beauty and innocence, untouched for centuries.

In his many years within the dark, Ardyn always tried his best to recall the most precious memories that he had of her; of holding her in his arms the day she was born; of her sleeping in his chest, hearing the beating of his heart.

With the passing of time, it became harder to remember the muddy red-haired hellion that loved to run barefoot in dirty rags on the mud of the many little towns that they used to visit in their journeys.

He wishes desperately to remember the sensation of his little girl hugging him like he is her whole world, of her kissing his cheek and telling him how much she loves him.

But in the never-ending darkness of his prison, the demons destroy his most precious memories of her, and chained up in the unforgiving murk he cries, dispairs, and screams until he can no longer hear his voice.

He can barely remember her, and what is left of his heart is feeling hopeless for losing what little light he had left in his cursed existence.

He wants to be with her again, hold her in his arms, hug her and never let her go.

He knows that even if he does die, she will not be there.

Everyone in Lucis knows about Princess Celestia; many consider her the most powerful Caelum, the promising queen to be that never lived to see her seventh birthday.

She was the only royal that manifested a unique type of magic that made plants grow; nobody after her manifested that kind of miraculous magic.

History states that she was the daughter of the first monarch, but after her mother passed away, her heart withered and she died sleeping in her childish sorrow.

There are many paintings of her scattered across the kingdom, the majority of them portray her sleeping in a bed of colorful flowers.

There are two memorial vitrals that are the most famous of them all: one with her peaceful smiling face surrounded by radiant flowers around her; and the other one where she has her hands in prayer as flowers bloom from her cascading red hair, her back, the sky, and the ground.

Whenever people venture into forests and valleys, they always send forward a small prayer of protection in her name. For nature was her's to command since she was born, and nature would always protect her wherever she went.

Noctis first saw her ghost in Vesperpool.

As Ardyn led them to the temple, he saw the mirage of a little girl walking next to the Chancellor, clad in a ragged dirty grey dress, her red hair a mess and her bare feet walking on the water’s surface.

He noticed how the trees' leaves rustled and the water beneath their feet became clear, how small flower buds spread on their wake and the moss in the rocks began to bloom little flowers.

When he lays his eyes on her face his heart stops and his memory begins to recall every single painting he saw of her in his life.

None of them made her justice.

Her eyes were an unnatural green, approaching a neon hue; her red hair had little shades of auburn mixed between strands, and some dark violet undertones on the roots of her temples.

Her unblemished baby skin shone like a brand new nightlight, and her pinkish lips formed a shy smile.

She stood on the Chancellor’s right side, as her left hand phased through his bigger one, unable to grasp it.

/Papa./ Said the ghost, her voice a faraway echo, as she looked up at the Chancellor with sadness in her eyes.

Noctis did not understand what she said.  But the way she looked at Ardyn reminded Noctis of himself when he was but a small child, wanting the attention of his father.

Before they depart to Altissia, Noctis has a dream of a beautiful meadow, vast and never-ending, filled with possibly all the flowers of the world.

In the center of the field lies a pit, and gazing from its depths, Celestia Lucis Caelum looks so miserable and alone as tears fall down from her green eyes, her face now puffy for crying too much.

/Help me,/ she wails, /I want to see my Papa./

The meadow is now burning, and her cries send a pang of pain through Noctis's heart.

H E L P   M E

She cries again.

H E L P   M E

Noctis wakes drenched in sweat and breathing heavily.

On the window frame, a blooming yellow flower greets him with the morning sun.

[bluestarsaber]

The Seven Deadly Sins Review Chapter 256: The New Legend Dies!... That was Quick!

Ok due to not having my laptop with me for a few weeks and my mini I mac appears to only copy a certain amount from my last review giving that I only saw part of my last review when I first posted it, so I needed to double check and edit my last one a bit before doing this one now making me more behind on my reviews. But anyway, my thoughts on chapter 256.

Pointless Summary: The scene Starts with Arthur walking through debris from his last attack, while Merlin is narrating recap from the last chapter. Hawk asks her (while bearhugged by Escanor) if the Holy Sword Excalibur will be enough to beat Meliodas and his new demon buddies, Merlin does not answer at first until next page shows Meliodas and Zeldris unharmed saying “reality I not that kind”. Arthur questions the brothers on how they are still alive, which gets when their masters arrive appearing unharmed as well with Chandler saying how his attack don’t do squat.

Arthur questions this (who can blame him given last chapter he was kicking demon butt) as Chandler response they where just checking what that Excalibur is made of. Cusack continues saying how they had nothing to do testing the sword was nice break from the monotony (I need to remember this word) so he thanks Arthur for that. However this is cut short as Chandler tell him his moustache has been cut one side, which he freaks out about rambling on how it’s the best in the demon realm while Arthur looks on in dispair.

Cath tells Arthur his magic still hasn't awakened yet if not everything would be all for nothing, however Arthur recklessly charges in saying as long as he has Excalibur he can’t lose. Though quickly gets overwhelmed by just the powerful arua the demons are giving of (along with really scary looking monster shadowy figures), meanwhile Merlin hear Cath saying Arthur is going to die.

Things get bad for Arthur as Excalibur suddenly get to heavy to lift, desperate to lift it up he injures himself. Cusack points out two mistakes our hero has made:

1.            His lack of strength. While the soul of his predecessors lend him strength his body needs the fortitude of flesh and mind to utilise such great power, proof that despite training he is still nowhere near the level otherwise his body wouldn’t have been strained as it is. Mocking Arthur that he has brought his own ruin.

2.            He messing with the wrong demons! While their have been many demons that have feared human heroes they were only the average ones (a.k.a the weak ones), while the 4 that stand before him are the highest order of demons (a.k.a the elite) that humans have no chance of beating them. To proof this he points out even the souls of the sword are trembling in fear.

Now that they are done talking, Cusack talks to Arthur how they are going to dispose of him. At first tells him back in the old any human who disrespected the elites and the royal get chopped up and fed to the Indura beats, but saying the sight isn’t worthy of his beloved students zeldris's eyes he is just going to crush Arthur's heart.

Suddenly Merlin comes out of nowhere and uses some ice magic to freeze Cusack and the surrounding demons as Chandler & Zeldris recognise her. Merlin compliments Arthur staying alive and thanks Cath for sending his thoughts she can come here to save Arthur. Eliodas demands that Merlin returns the Commandment of Faith to him now, but Merlin holding Arthur (in a much too clingy position if you ask me) tells him just as he is trying to become the Demon King to save Elizabeth his friends and loved are trying to to save him and he should not forget that before dispearing and the ice shatters.

Back at the Boar Hut Diane States the obvious that Merlin has disappeared from nowhere in a worried manner, while Hawk asks the question if she succeed in rescuing Arthur. Then suddenly she’s back landing on Hawk with Arthur, shocking the sins as she asks Elizabeth to heal Arthur while Hawk comments on Cath’s injury. However, scene cuts to Cusack and as his eye glows so does Arthur’s and as Cusack is moving his arms to do self-stabbing in the chest, so does Arthur but he is holding Excalibur. This shocks everyone as Arthur is failing down with Merlin crying out in despair ending the chapter. The Good: Okay for one I am glad the Demons weren’t completely outclassed by Arthur’s new-found strength and were just testing out what Excalibur can do, as they are pretty much the only threat left in the series except for the Demon King and maybe the Goddess clan in future depending on where Nakaba Suzuki takes the series. I’m also happy that Arthur has still got ways to go before fully being able to use the full extent of Excalibur, as it would feel really forced that he suddenly gets on par with the high demons. Nice to see more traits from our new Demons in the series mainly from Cusack, with how he reacts to his prized moustache from being half cut and then rambling on that it was the best in the demon realm it was priceless I couldn’t stop laughing first time I read it.

The Highlight of course is the final pages of Arthur being stab and Merlin panicking, as this is the first time I have ever seen her so worried given this character is usually in control of the situation no matter how terrified her allies are finally in a position she can’t control. We also finally get a hint of some of Cusack’s abilities as it seems he can control your movements if he has looked you in the eye (that’s even more powerful than a basic sharingan before it got too op)

The Artwork continues to be stellar, my favourite is the double page with the master duo showing off their powerful presence showing dark figure and terrifying monsters very good use of black and white art manga is known for. Other panels I like are the two demon brothers standing side by side, the double page of Arthur stabbing him self and the final one with Merlin’s look of despair as Arthur falls as you can feel the emotions of a character for most part of the series remains calm and collected finally breaking down.

The Bad: Unfortunately, I have a bit to complain about as well. While I’m glad Arthur is not overpowered enough to defeat the 4 most powerful demons, I am not happy to learn that Excalibur true power isn’t enough to take on the most powerful demons and only common demons are truly terrified of the sword and its wielders. Which is disappointing as I was hoping the series would give something for the human characters to compete on par with the higher demons that wasn’t Ban’s immortally from the Fountain of Youth from the Fairy Clan or Escanor’s Sunshine that’s actually an Archangels Power, but that’s sadly not the case. I also did not like that Merlin could teleport to Arthur’s location just because she can read Cath’s thoughts when he thinks Arthur is in danger, as it pretty much a plot device to move things along. It also makes it feel like the pervious arc where the Sins were heading to Camelot to rescue Arthur pointless, if Merlin can just teleport there and back if she can connect to Cath’s thoughts. Also, the position Merlin was holding on to Arthur when she was rescuing him felt a bit fanservice to me with the way it was drawn, but I could just be nit-picking here.

Overall Thoughts and Hopes:

I give this chapter a 6.9/10. While it has great artwork and some good character moments, it’s still disappointing to learn that Arthur will never be on par with the stronger demons with Excalibur and Merlin is starting to get very broken with her convenient abilities. If I didn’t know what would happen next chapter I’d say Elizabeth would of healed and saved Arthur next chapter then he get a current update of the Situation with Meliodas and the upcoming Holy War, but I will save that for the next review.

[jxpper]

Down In Flames

Joyce and Jim were friends, just friends...and it seemed like that wasn't changing. Maybe it never would either. Hop wanted to count down the days until it would change, but he never knew when that would be. Just when he started to come to terms with that, Joyce had asked him to be her date at the snowball... as friends.

It didn't take Hopper more than a half of a second to agree proudly to his best friend's offer. Maybe things were changing slowly? Even if they weren't, Jim found his best suit and his most expensive cologne. Brushing his hair neatly, evening out his jacket, and lighting up a cigarette, he was ready for the dance that might just change everything.

He picked Joyce up and made sure to take his father's advice and open the door for her. She looked absolutely stunning in a black skater dress with white polka dots and long sleeves. He had never seen her hair as curly while being well tamed since usually it was pulled back and filled with fly hairs. Her cheeks and lips were red and her lashes sat perfectly across her lids. She had never looked more beautiful to him.

"You look... wow." Jim expressed nervously as he itched the back of his neck.

"I'll take 'wow' as a compliment." She winked playfully as he escorted her off the icy porch steps to his car.

Jim barely said two words during the whole car ride, nervous he would say the wrong thing. Cigarette after cigarette, he played the entire night plans in his mind thirteen times; the good and the bad possibilities. Finally, they pulled up in the school parking lot. Hop remembered again to open the car door for her, he couldn't mess this up.

"You okay?" Joyce asked with concern in her voice as she straightened out his tie.

"Yeah, I... yeah." He felt defeated. They were here as friends. Why were his nerves getting the best of him?

"It's me, Hop. Just Joyce. It's not like you're here with Chrissy." She joked as she nudged his arm.

She was right. This wasn't a hit it and quit it mission, this was his Joyce! There was no such thing as 'Just Joyce.'

"I know, Joycie. I'm alright." Hopper replied quietly as he held out his arm for her to grab. Escorting her on the slick ice, he pulled the school doors open for her.

Jaws seemed to drop when the two walked in. Looking like the skid row kids cleaned up pretty nicely as Joyce was model material and Hop was sharp as a knife.

"I'll get us some drinks," Jim said quietly as he pulled out a chair for Joyce at a back table. He felt like he couldn't breathe through the tie that hung snuggly around his neck, or maybe it was because Joyce's beauty took the breath from his lungs.

When Hopper returned with their glasses of punch, he sat down next to her. She could smell the nervousness reeking from his body while his demeanor didn't argue with that notion.

"Let's dance." Joyce offered as she hoped it would lighten his mood. Hop nodded nervously before taking her hand to the floor.

"Around my waist, Hop." She giggled as she saw him sputter.

"I don't bite, closer." Obviously, her mood wasn't to leave room for Jesus. She couldn't understand what was making him like this? Hopper was always bold as steel, what changed?

Jim's palms were sweating. This moment seemed to be now or never, it would be over in a blink of an eye. He battled with himself over whether or not to speak up and just admit his feelings. He was lost too deep in her eyes though.

"Shit, Lonnie is coming. Kiss me!" Joyce begged as she saw Byers walk in the door.

"Joyce, I... I don-" Hopper began.

"Kiss me!" She barely finished asking when his lips came crashing down to hers. He pulled her in closer with his hand on her waist. No words could describe the way her velvet plush lips felt pressed to his.

Before he could savor the moment of feeling alone with her, she pulled back with a smile. "Thanks for that, he won't leave me alone. That should show him."

His heartbeat stopped ringing in his ears while his stomach dropped with disappointment. It happened all too fast, he couldn't even process that this wasn't real. This was just a ploy to piss off Lonnie.

"Joyce, no." Hopper started. He could still feel her chest to chest with him as he couldn't let her go. "I can't be your cover-up. I can't be the shield that comes and goes when Byers is around. It hurts my heart too much."

"Your heart?— oh..." Like an avalanche, realization came crashing down on her. Hopper was carrying a torch for her?

Jim looked at her with his eyes full of despair. If she squinted, she could see the tears he was trying to hold from welling in his eyes.

Joyce gave him a sad smile. "I didn't know." She cocked her head as she watched him try to look away.

With an audible gulp, Hopper shrugged. "I guess I didn't know how to tell you." Well, this was not one of the several scenarios he had ran through in his head.

Her heart was beating just as fast as his was now, there was no willing it to slow. In all honesty, she had tucked those feelings away long ago. With the idea that Hop would be too invested in his back seat screw-arounds with the cheerleaders, she didn't dwell around in her feelings for him.

Joyce smiled as she softly cupped his cheek. "You wanna kiss me again?"

"I do. I really do." Jim huffed nervously. He realized that Joyce was waiting for him as a grin sat proudly on her face.

Once more, his lips locked to hers. The world around them both faded away, gasps and all. It was just them standing there, lips moving softly against each other.

They stood there, unable to pull apart for several long moments. Even despite Mr. Cooper's shouting at them from across the gymnasium.

[nightglider124]

31 Days of Titans - Day 6: Slenderman

I’m writing this at work, hehe. There’s not a bunch else to do right now, so I thought I’d get a headstart and get some writing done. 

I’ve kinda always wanted to do something with the Slenderman legend purely because I love the idea of it. It’s so creepy and I am a fan of the story and the game etc. 

Idk if this one is that great but, tis what it is. Hope you like it, regardless.

And yes, they’re in another forest. They kinda need to be for this one though, don’t ya think?

Day 6: Slenderman

“Guys? I think we lost him again.”

Beast Boy’s voice echoed around them as it bounced between the dark trees surrounding them. 

Robin growled from behind him, “This is the third time this week that he’s gotten away!” His shoulders fell and he sighed as Starfire touched his arm, in an attempt to calm his rattled emotions, “C’mon... let’s just go home. We’ll meet up with Raven and Cyborg and go over what we’ve got.”

A soft kiss against his cheek before Starfire gave his hand a squeeze, “Fear not, Robin. We will stop him.”

He nodded slowly, “I know, Star... it’s just... frustrating is all.”

She reciprocated his nod, understanding his irritation. Red X had been evading them for the entirety of this past month. He enjoyed toying with their team, or more specifically, Robin. 

But, simply because he had helped them out on the odd occasion, it did not give him a free pass when it came to the crimes he’d committed; theft or not. 

“Hey, can you guys quit the mushy stuff, already?” Beast Boy teased, grinning at Robin’s pink tinted cheeks,

“What is it?” His leader grunted,

“Well, you said let’s go. Which way is out?” Beast Boy queried,

Robin lifted his head and was surprised by their ominous surroundings. The ground was littered with pieces of chipped bark and wood from the dark, dead trees in every direction. The fog was what got to Robin most. It was ridiculously thick; they couldn’t see anything beyond the trees that were barely meters in front of them. It was white and smoky looking and no matter how much Robin narrowed his eyes, his vision failed him.

It was impenetrable mist and Robin hated that kind the most. 

“Uh...” Robin stammered, at a complete loss.

“You do know which way we gotta go, right?” Beast Boy squeaked, fear laced within his tone,

“No, but I do have a communicator that will show us the way. We’ll be fine.”

However, as Robin pulled it from his belt and clicked a series of buttons, his heart started racing. The only response he got was static. Not good.

“Cyborg? Raven?” He tried, holding the device at all angles, to see if it did any good.

Beast Boy whined and threw his hands up in dispair, “Great. Now, we’re lost and we’ll never get out. I’ll never play video games with Cy again. I’ll never see Rae again... oh my gosh. I’ll never see pizza again!” 

Robin rolled his eyes at his friend’s dramatics, “Will you stop? We’ll be fine. It wasn’t hard to get in here so I doubt it’ll be that hard to get out, either.”

“Star, can’t you fly up above the trees and see where we gotta go? Or I can do it-”

“Don’t.” Robin said, grabbing Starfire’s arm as she lifted into a float, “Either of you. On the way in, I saw some wiring cast overhead. And in this mist, you won’t see it. I don’t want us getting hurt.”

Starfire dropped back down and Beast Boy threw his head back with a groan,

“This is some kinda Slenderman deal. We’re just gonna waste away here and get murdered!”

Robin furrowed his eyebrows, opening his mouth to tell Beast Boy to be quiet but Starfire beat him to talking,

“Please... what is this... Slenderman?” She asked, hesitantly.

Beast Boy blinked and hurried to walk beside the alien Princess, “Slenderman is one of the scariest creatures out there, Star. Legend has it, he’s this... demon of sorts. He lurks in the shadows of forests, just watching and waiting for people. He’s freakishly tall and dresses all in black. The creepiest thing is... he doesn’t have a face.”

“What?” Starfire shrieked, her eyes wide,

“He has a head but no facial features. No eyes, nose, lips; nada. It’s just blank and white.”

Starfire swallowed, “And... wh-what does Slenderman do?”

“If he sees people, wandering like we are... he waits, bides his time and then he pounces, grabbing you with his long arms while you scream. If you look at him properly, they say you can’t escape him and-”

“Beast Boy, enough. You’re freaking her out. Stop it.” Robin scolded, feeling Starfire’s nail digging into his arm.

“Is... is that true, Robin?” She queried,

“No, Star. It’s just a stupid story, made to scare people.” He replied, narrowing his eyes at Beast Boy who looked set to protest.

They dipped into silence as they started walking down one particular path that Robin had somewhat chosen at random. As long as they kept going forward, they would find an exit.

Or at least, that’s what Robin was telling himself.

There was a sudden squawk from a nearby crow; once, twice before it went dead silent again.

Starfire frowned. There was a faint buzzing almost that she could hear. It sounded very much like the static of the communicator before except... this time, she had no idea where it was coming from.

She released Robin’s arm, turning her head to scan the area. 

There was a brief flash of black behind one of the trees.

Starfire sucked in a startled breath, wondering if it was Red X trying to hide from them.

Or was it... something else?

For some reason, her gut was telling her it was the latter. Starfire’s heart thumped in her chest. She froze, standing still and focusing on the tree she’d seen movement from. 

“Star?” Robin called, confused as to why she’d stopped.

“Apologies... I thought...” She trailed off, turning her head back towards the spot she’d been watching. She was waiting for something but she didn’t know what.

“Starfire!” Beast Boy yelped,

Starfire spared him a glance, only to see his face of terror and pointing at something beside her. 

She gulped; feeling its sinister presence beside her. She closed her eyes, her blood pumping in her ears.

Slowly, Starfire turned to look at the monster, her heart feeling like it was going to burst out of her ribcage. 

She saw the blackness before her. Tilting her head up, her eyes found his bleached white face and she screamed.

[disabled-witch-caribbean-bitch]

Sadness

Sometimes, when I can stand my own company between moments of self loathing, I look at the sadness in me and wonder how it came to be. It replies with memories and images, feelings and thoughts, people I’ve love and those who’ve loved me not. It sits in my chest, a mass of dispair, tangled and dusty with how long it’s been there. I don’t know when it started or how it began but it’s been there for so long I can’t remember at time when it wasn’t. When I was younger it burst out as anger. A seething pit where I threw all my sadness. Every swallowed word, every unshed tear, every insult and slight, I stuffed them in there. It was a haven at first, a place of refuge for my heart. But as I grew older it started to hurt. It strangled me slowly, feeding on my fears. Insecurities like appetizers, its emptiness stripped me bare. Before long, it consumed me, steadily devouring my heart. It became hard find what was me and what set it apart. It weighs on me heart, pulling strength from my bones. It whispers dark secrets I’ve always known. It slithers quietly through my mind, preying on my self worth. Gorging itself on my soul, as it grows I get worse. Everyday becomes harder. Each moment more difficult than the last. I know, somewhere under itm I still exist. My passions, my interests, my life still sits. Trapped in this shell, I struggle to move. Sucked deeper into the pit of sadness I grew. I gave up on asking myself “what if”. All I know is that I’ve been fight for far too long, and my strength will fail me sometime soon. So each day I ask myself if this will be the day I give in. I’ve been waging a war with hell and was always doomed. Put up the white flag and flee from my skin. When will the weight on my chest get too much? When will my breath stop filling my lungs? When will my heart give it’s last beat? When will my heart finally be free. And each day I wake up, looking deep inside, I say hold on to love and try, just that little bit harder, just for today. And each day I convince myself to live another day.