#my discord server is so tired of me sending 'me and who' with every screenshot of haruhi and tamaki i can find

[uwukeres]

Re: Writing a massive CoD tea post

Disclaimer: I don't often write long posts on tumblr so my formatting may be way off here, so bare with me while I get my footing a bit. The original thread by @jazzybot4 that is (as of 24/7/23), on-going can be found here. This thread will be in response to all three parts, as I'm tired I've watching someone swing behind the genuine belief of misinformation. This post will primarily be in defense of @zyomih, as OP has made several claims against them that are backed up by little more than smoke and mirrors. jazzybot4 makes some points, such as the previous mod team mishandling some aspects of moderation, I won't argue with that; we were a small team that was fit to moderate a smaller server and not one that had over 1k members. However, where they lose me, and a lot of other folks is when they begin pointing the finger at @zyomih and saying that they are a "Generally unpleasant person, howling screaming tantrum throwing anti." who has apparently abused Leech (formerly known as Maggot-- I will more than likely alternate in between their names, as I knew them primarily as Maggot) and is heavily implied to have sent death threats, used a sock puppet to bypass blocks etc, etc. Lets start at the beginning, if you want to see the same handful of screenshots from the original twitter thread that OP reposts in every single part, use the link above. I'm tired of them rehashing the same two-three screenshots for their argument. Zyo's original posts can be found here (1) (2) and I encourage you to give them a thorough read through, and not just a light skim. (2) is where they first mention Leechknot, as can be seen below:

This is, and continues to be their only mention of Leech in the context of this drama. But, still the comments persist that Zyo is apparently disparaging Leech:

(Taken from the first posts comment section-- sort by oldest, and its the second or third response. This was in response to me asking when exactly in the first post they went word-for-word and proved-- anything really.) So lets take a look at their dm list on their main account:

This screenshot is their last interaction, which is dated June 27, 2023 which was the day of the server hand-over. They have exchanged no messages since-- and there are no deleted messages, as then there would be long-stretches where Leech was seemingly talking to themselves. Note: Leeches messages have been blacked out in order to not leak their private dm's. This screenshot was taken 2024/07/23 (Today) and is current with Leech's current profile picture. While I appreciate the faith you have in my friend to juggle several sock accounts to block evade/send death threats, its simply not true. Zyo has always been the type of person to say them directly. Lets make something clear, I'm not saying that Leech isn't receiving death threats at all; but I know for a fact that they aren't coming from Zyo. Yet still, Since you insist on being a pariah of truth and receipts (of which you don't provide yourself the majority of the time) here is their entire dm list from their only alt discord account (The 'Dart' dummy account):

This screenshot is, again, taken from 2024/07/23. The user on the top of the friends list is NOT another alt account, but a mutual friend. Their name has been blacked out for privacy. Something I wanted to highlight is the fact that NEITHER of these screenshots show any evidence of Zyo sending threats or any type of abuse towards Maggot. Moving on to the allegations that Zyo made and the latter half of comments which you ignore. You incorrectly identified what their main issues with the server are, and I'm assuming this is so you could strengthen your stance that Zyo is, for lack of a better term, full of shit.

Screenshot from the third post, and lets actually go line by line since you seem incapable of following the structure of your own posts. 1. "Hosting Illegal Content."-- This claim is made because the server hosts threads that talk, in detail about Rape and Sexual assault. These are not support threads, as it clearly states in the rules that there is no venting channels. There is no sexual assault depicted with these characters in the screenshot below, nor is there within Modern Warfare games with the exception of Ghosts comic backstory.

And, an accompanying list of those who were active within the top thread (Important note: Mod roles are defined by [Sgt.], [Lt.], [Cpt.] and [Cpl.]):

Which shows that mods were active within these threads. You are right, their unacceptable content list is well within the recommended list that Discord provides. However, underage nsfw has been shared there before:

--and that has a mod engaging positively with it. They are lenient when they come to their mod staff and their more well-respected members (AKA, those with a significant following.) An example of this is here, when a member is asked by a mod to not stream a game that may or may not have some SA undertones in it:

Which does imply a bias, which I don't think is fair to ignore. If you're going to base your entire arguement over accusing Zyo of acting in bad faith, its really pertinent to include the whole context, and not just cherry picking what does and doesn't work for your argument. I noticed in all of your posts, you've always neglected to approach the Underage aspect of the accusations. Which are, by the way, prohibited by Discord TOS:

I can hear the argument already, that members of the server are not trying to 'Normalize' child abuse. However, as the definition goes on to state-- "Do not post content or engage in conduct that in any way sexualizes children.... [in] any type of digital creation." Fanfiction, by law does count under digital creation. As well, if you look at the top of the screenshot from Discord, you can see the searching the phrase "Underage" yields about 55 results; if we assume that at least 5 of them are from mods asking for the content not to be there and at least one of them is dedicated to their unacceptable list, then that still leaves 49 instances of where the content was discussed in the server. 2. "Engaging in Censorship and Silencing pro-Palestine Activism."-- Once again, no, Zyo was not commenting on them silencing Pro-Palestine Activism. They stated (And their thread has been unrolled for a neater screenshot, the original can be found here):

Which is referencing this tweet where the mod-team asks @/aquasuperbat to remove their comment that Elliot Knight is a Zionist. Jazzy, you say in your first part that you will get back to these allegations later but you never do-- so for the record, Elliot Knight (Who plays Gaz) actively follows and has liked several pro-Israel posts on his twitter. A source is included above. Considering how exceptionally online most folks who are in fandom spaces are, Jellycakes more than likely went into it with the assumption that the original poster knew this, and still wanted to gush over him anyway. How does this relate back to Zyo though? From an outside perspective, the deletion of the comment made by @/aquasuperbat and the immediate deletion of the comment made by @/recentlydeceased implies that the mods are, in some aspects, uncomfortable talking about these topics. This is well within their right, however I'm not sure how they can adhere to the no-politics rule when they have allowed charity fundraisers for Palestine in their server. Is that not also inherently political? Or is it only against the rules when it goes against someone's favorite character? Musings aside, you also claim that 'Real' Silencing would have been mods outright deleting the comment without asking first. While not completely wrong, this also doesn't actually reflect what social silencing is; Silence Theory suggests that those who think that they hold the majority opinion are more comfortable expressing their thoughts and opinions. The mod team is comfortable with expressing that they don't want individuals discussing a current war in their server; their opinion holds the most weight since they are in a position of power; therefore their opinion is the majority. THAT is why the server comes off as being a bunch of Zionists, and why Zyo et al. took issue with the screenshots that were raised. So far, you have done nothing to disprove this fact. Rather your more comfortable with insulting them, calling them names and making baseless threats (ex. Threatening to go to the FBI for death threats Zyo has not made.). You've turned them into the architecture of a villain that you need to have in order to excuse the fact that Leech, for as good as a person as they seemed, still allowed Sexual Assault, Underage and suppressed folks who were Pro-Palestine. You attack their moderation style, for their organizing of a server that they passed along over a year ago. You call them an abuser based on what? Vibes? Because it sure as hell isn't evidence that you've shown-- and if it was as damning as your hyping it up to be, why wouldn't you show the evidence? You have constantly said that these accusations have no weight to them, when in reality it's just showing your lack of reading comprehension when it comes to anything over 100 words. Moreover, your moral posturing is laughable, embarrassing and screams of someone who wants to be the main character of a story that they were on the outskirts for. Take a step back, experience some whimsy in your life and accept the fact that you exist solely in a echo-chamber of people who are confirming your bias. I know you want to defend your friend, I get it, I really do-- I wouldn't be writing out this whole damn post if i didn't, but completing a character assassination on someone whose been mostly inactive in the cod fandom for the last year? Maybe I just don't get it because I haven't been active in the Cod Fandom for a while either, but I don't understand where you get off putting Zyo on blast for every small thing that they have ever done to apparently wrong both you and Leech. Just to reiterate: Zyo hasn't had any contact with Leech for almost a full year. If they wanted to get hateful on main, they would do it from main. They're not going to ban evade and hide behind a dozen different sock puppet accounts just to terrorize the lot of you. That's a significant effort for a dying server with a mod team whose views don't, and will probably never align with ours.

[contentment-of-cats]

The narc is right on schedule.

Here we go again. Narcs love to spoil shit they can't control, and @cordeliaperry - formerly cyberwitch85 and who knows how many sockpuppets - pops up. She's got a hard-on for Merry Chissmas now, because if you've shit your pants in front of an entire fandom, what's one more fart in all the stink?

My first experience with her was when she threatened a friend with revenge porn. Another more comprehensive link here. It was not a rumor - it was something she did. She likes to delete her replies and edit her posts, so you have to document every interaction.

I did not dox her, though I do have the information from a post that she herself made. She's locked her archive and blocked me, but I do have screenshots and her showing her whole ass on other blogs. Receipts, baby.

The reason she’s accusing me of doxing is because she donated to my cancer fund and I offered the money back. Someone, not me, sent her the money. I also turned over the $100 she funded me to a cancer charity. She also does not know the meaning of the word 'doxxing' which is the public exposition of personal information such as name, address, and so forth. However, it is a hot-button word that gets attention - and since she's a textbook narc, that's what she feeds on.

Not a Boomer - it's an ageist dogwhistle from a person desperate to recruit her own army of flying monkeys. Gen X, represent.

She went full bunnyboiler on a writer formerly in the fandom, sending multiple hate anons - that were so obviously her. And there are so many, many, many of them.

She is alleged to have used her Discord server to spy on her 'friends' - one of the reasons I now avoid Discord servers.

Since she was not getting any traction attacking said author, she turned on one of the author's friends with a bloodthirsty campaign of harassment.

She bullied a Thrawn fan out of the fandom and from their blog. She might have done this to others that I don't know about, considering how many fans disappeared from the fandom when I was sick starting from February 2022 (diagnosis) to March/April of 2022 (recovery from last surgery).

She hates me because I've gotten very fucking tired of narcs torpedoing fandoms because they want to be a BNF. She bullied a lot of people, and people are scared to stand up to her. I don't give two farts in a tornado. I'll punch back on the bitch.

People are afraid of her - one reason that Merry Chissmas has an anon submission option. She allegedly gathered people's contact info to organize a fandom penpal activity, then also used an author's contact info to harass them. Nobody wanted to be next.

As she cycles through her narcissistic rage, she's staying on brand. Narcs love to ruin holidays and make it all about them. You can find out about the darker side of fandom here with history, tutorials on protecting yourself, resources, and other informative articles.

And finally, I offer a video of wisdom from Darren F. Magee - an excellent psychologist, fellow sci-fi nerd, and man on a mission.

If she can't control an event and if she can't be the center of attention, she'll do her level best to ruin it for everyone else. In the spirit of the holidays, I think I'm going to - a few times a week - post a screenshot of her clownery along with an appropriate Darren Magee video just to make the point.

Merry Chissmas, 🤡

[thalfbloodloser]

normally i'd avoid talking about such things on my account - i'm truly tired of ill-intended minors "exposing" barely-adult older teens who had the misfortune of crossing their paths - but this involves my best friend (@binnieceo) and i will not sit quietly through tori/six's endlessly idiocy against them any longer. if he decided to talk about it publicly, i'll share my piece too.

keep in mind that i do not have much "proof" nor many screenshots - other than some that have already been posted above - since i haven't directly participated in said groups with tori. what i have, as another secondhand bystander, is many recorded whatsapp (i don't use discord all that much. hence why i've never had the displeasure of interacting with tori) talks where binnieceo confided in me and expressed severe frustration, anger and even fear at/because of tori's behavior.

what always broke my heart - and angered me just as much - was the fact that op was always more worried about his girls than he was worried about himself. well, as his friend, i've decided to step in and show bits of our many conversations WITH DATES and brief translations. because this is something that has been haunting not only the two girls (whose names shall not be mentioned), but also him and several other friends (such as me and eldritchautism) as collateral damage FOR MONTHS.

- 3RD OF JULY, 2023

[...] "tori sent a google drive with most - if not all - sleepacross drawings. there's some with tiny/baby sayeon and samin" — this was op briefly telling me about tori leaking stuff. up to this point they were still in good terms.

- JULY 29, 2023

op explaining how he and the girls were very kind and understanding towards tori's boundaries, and how he even admitted he was wrong for interacting because of his slightly older age. tori then supposedly admitted she herself was also wrong for deliberately bringing up said NSFW topics and for actively "looking for porn". like mentioned beforehand, op and the girls decided to censor anything and everything NSFW from further conversations.

- AUGUST 4TH, 2023

(fred = me / fofoca = gossip) | "remember the girl that messaged us saying that she didn't want to talk to me, X and Y anymore? well, i've blocked her from every social media since then, but today she [...] implied she wants to doxx Y..?"

cont. - op telling me just how afraid he, Y and X (specially Y, the one who was most harassed and threatened) were of breaking up the friendship with tori because - as a unstable person - she might "get angry and "expose" us three". here he also mentioned that she talked about these things (NSFW/dead dove) with them and leaked sleepacross' patreon on the server, despite he telling her many times not to, because op and the girls did not want to get blacklisted by sleepacross.

cont. - me replying to screenshots of that one conversation where she (tori) is actively harassing Y for her adress, so she can presumably doxx her | op telling me he told Y to block tori and leave/delete the server they were in, but she remained scared of tori's unpredictable reaction to that.

- AUGUST 17TH, 2023

binnieceo telling me about a moment/conversation where tori was being (allegedly) xenophobic against all kinds of different countries when she decided she wanted to "say a slur about black people" (which i'm assuming it's the N word, with a hard -ER). tori then "joked" about calling X to "say it [the slur] for her". when X, as a blasian person, questioned her behavior she got embarrassed and stopped.

- AUGUST 20, 2023

tori sending a nasty, and quite threatening, email to Y's gmail account (that wasn't directly provided to her. yet another instance of tori being a shameless stalker) because Y got the courage to leave and delete the previously mentioned server. seems like her fear wasn't unjustified.

- FEBRUARY 28, 2024

op telling me he went to check a weird comment he got on one of his posts on tumblr, only to find out it was from tori. mind you that this was MONTHS after he first blocked her on everything (check the dates.)

cont. - "i reblogged a post talking about sex and she commented on it [nervous laugh]...SHE STILL HASN'T CHANGED!" / op being grateful she always uses the same username, so it gets easier to find out whenever she's stalking one of his accounts. once again, it shows just how 1. uncomfortable he, binnieceo, was with this sort of behavior and 2. how tori herself keeps interacting with NSFW deliberately.

- JULY 24TH, 2024

once again, the gossiping and serious accusations (which to me are simply vile difamation) started months ago, and similar "threats" of exposition were also made back in 2023. currently it seems like tori and her gang are orchestrating something - perhaps a call-out post? - and i'm hoping to see it fail.

binnieceo and the girls are sweet and non-confrontational, but i'm not. if she messes with my friend's - a fully queer, latino and most likely neurodivergent person who struggles constantly to survive - reputation "just because", i'll stoop down to her level and we'll see how she likes the taste of her own venom. i'm sorry this keeps going on endlessly, op.

i'm rooting for you and the girls! hope you get rid of this racist & transphobic doxxer 🐌

Hello, kind strangers on the internet!

Oh, wow! Discord drama, huh? I never thought I'd be in the center of it all. Well, since she has shared her side of the story, it's only fair that I share mine.

So, if you aren't chronically online, allow me to explain: A teenager by the name of Tori (or Six) is accusing me of grooming her which is SO far from the truth that it is not even in the same plane of existence as the truth to begin with.

Some screenshots have been lost to time and I only have word of mouth to back me up, so you guys will have to just believe my (and others') words.

"Why?"

I don't screenshot every person and conversation I have. Tori keeps changing her profile, aliases, etc, so the things she's said and done a year ago have been lost.

Certain servers were deleted. Most of the bad stuff Tori said was on a server I made (which I will get into later) that was also later deleted. I only have a few screenshots from the server and most of them are EXTREMELY pixelated and low quality, so I'm sorry about that.

Most of our interactions pre-discord were on Twitter. And not only was Twitter banned in my country, but both me and Tori deleted our accounts.

"Why did you delete your twitter??? Are you sus??"

No actually. I was just getting bombarded with negativity from Twitter so I deleted my acc for the sake of my mental health. Tori wiped her Twitter (idk how? maybe she used bots) because she said she wanted to repurpose her account into a study account, which is fine.

Okay, so, starting:

First things first, I was 17 when I first met Tori back in April 2023. But I think I was 16 when we first interacted, because I have memory of interacting with her in the HJ server before I had my birthday.

She proceeded to DM me on Discord and I scrolled through all our convos and there really isn't anything worth noting there. We didn't talk much in DMs at all. There is just friendly talks about how our day went and how much we appreciated each other, so I'm not gonna put any of those here, because they are irrelevant.

Tori, at the time, asked me to DM a friend of hers (who was in the HJ server) and tell her that she wanted to end the friendship. I was confused but also didn't know how to say "no" at the time, so I just did what she asked and she seemed happy.

At some point, we started talking about fanfiction. We didn't talk about anything bad, just how much Tori liked my work and enjoyed being my friend. Later, she gave me her Twitter @ and that was the first time I saw her posting about NSFW.

She re-tweeted and followed NUMEROUS NSFW artists/fanfic writers (mostly Tower of God and Kimetsu no Yaiba) and made her own posts talking about it, mostly about just how much she wanted to rape Gyuu (a KNY character). Again, I literally don't have access to Twitter anymore + Tori WIPED her account, so even if you follow her, you won't be able to find anything like this there.

I didn't think too much of this at the time. It was just fanfiction, nothing more, nothing less. And yeah did she tell me she was 17 and not 18? Yeah but like. Teenagers are going to teenage and interact with porn anyway so I was like "this is fine" (it wasn't)

Then, at some point, someone in the HJ server brought up that they were 13 and I promptly banned them (the rules state that those below 16 cannot join). Which prompted Tori to send me the above message.

And this is where I made a grave mistake: I kept talking to her despite it all.

To be completely honest, I was feeling extremely awkward and confused when she first sent me that message, and just wanted to calm her down because I had the impression she was really shaken up by what happened.

"But why did you keep talking to her??"

I kept talking to her out of pity. She often vented to me and the others about how bad her life IRL was, how her friends irl treated her badly and how much she hated it all. I felt like I owed her my friendship because I was the one who messaged her ex-friend some time earlier, making her feel alone. So, I kept talking to her.

I'd also like to note that those were some of the last few messages we exchanged in DMs (the last were something abt Evangelion? I don't know what Evangelion is but she seemed obsessed with it at the time.)

Some time after this, me and Tori met my two best friends (whose names I edited out of the screenshots) and interacted on Twitter before moving to Discord (because Twitter DMs suck and Elon is a bitch)

And that Group Chat on Discord is where all of her screenshots come from. However, differently from what she made others believe, me and Tori didn't actually interact too much in that GC at all, and when we did, it was to talk about our lives/funny memes/Hand Jumper.

This is mostly due to time zone restraints. Tori studied in the morning/afternoon while I was at work, and when night fell (when she was active) I was in school and only came back home during midnight.

Did I talk about NSFW in the GC? Yeah, but Tori wasn't present when me and the others were talking about it, and she never replied or interacted with those messages so I never thought she even saw them. I was even surprised she took screenshots of our convos at all jhds

And also despite what she makes it look like, we didn't talk JUST about NSFW in the group chat, and I also never instigated them to talk about it. I actually had to scroll a LOT to find the conversations Tori mentioned. There are actually very few and far between who are buried below normal conversations and vents about our lives and interests.

The ones who usually started the NSFW convos were my two besties and Tori (when I was offline). Tori actually liked to send NSFW Tower of God (webtoon) fanfictions in the middle of normal conversations just to make the others acknowledge and talk about it.

She also makes fun of me for asking for help with my smut fanfics, but Tori also asked US for help with her own TOG rapefic (I think it involved a blue haired boy and his uncle?) because she also wrote NSFW (and especially fic-threads on Twitter). I remember she sent me the google docs she wrote the rapefic on but I don't have access to it anymore because I don't save other people's google docs.

And now you might say:

"Wait! You are a proshipper?! You just lost all of your credibility!"

And to that I say: Yeah, I am a proshipper. Proshipper just means I don't tell people to kill themselves or harass them if they like a ship I don't. That's literally it.

And even if you still hate me for using that word and decides to side with Tori because of it, just know that she also calls herself a proshipper (she used to have this on her discord bio as well, but deleted it. This only exists in her tiktok now.) and STILL talks about/interacts with rapefics/incest fics. I'm inclined to believe that she also writes Dead Dove fics but publishes them under a different alias, but that's just speculation.

So like, yeah. If you hate me for being a proshipper just know she is one too so like we're on equal ground here lmao.

Well, continuing.

At some point, Tori sent a long message in our group chat (screenshot below) saying she didn't feel comfortable talking about NSFW with us.

And you know what I did?

I... respected her boundaries.

(I edited the pictures together because of Tumblr's image limit. I hope you can read them. If it is too pixelated I'll just reblog the post with the standalone pictures)

She didn't want to talk about NSFW/Dead Doves with us? That's okay. I understood that. It was also around that time I finally started coming to my senses and realized that it didn't matter if I had any good or bad intentions towards Tori, me talking about those things with her in the first place was a bad thing, and I shouldn't have done it.

Tori said she didn't want to lose our friendship or leave on bad terms, so I asked the other girls to censor all of their mature messages (not only NSFW stuff, but also just bad/sad stuff/news from irl news sources) so she could talk to us without being exposed to any type of bad things (because she was also venting a LOT to us at the time and said she wanted to forget the real world for a moment.)

I also made a Discord server with just me, Tori, and our two friends. The server doesn't exist anymore, as my friend deleted it, but I basically divided the server into two sections so we could talk about anything we wanted as a group without bothering/triggering Tori.

But...It was also in that server that Tori started saying extremely concerning things.

Not only did she become progressively mean with time, but she also said she and her sister PROUDLY doxxed someone, and she was RACIST towards my friend, saying that she, a (probably) white person had the RIGHT to call my friend the N word because she wasn't (in her words, not mine) "actually black". Just for context, this friend is BLASIAN (black and asian) so she was being racist AND xenophobic at the SAME TIME. (Sadly, neither me or said friend have the screenshots to prove it, only the memory of it. But all 3 of us can back this up because we saw the conversation happening.)

She also, somehow, found out the school address of another one of my friends AND their ZIP Code, and sent a google streetview picture of said friend's school saying that she didn't live "too far away" which scared the shit out of me and the other girls.

I hope you can see the screenshots properly. I wasn't the one who took them, so they are pixelated.

Those are the screenshots where Tori says she doxxed someone, and tried to guilt trip my friend into giving her their address so she could doxx them too.

Screenshots of me and my friends talking about the situation, and about the fact Tori kept on posting NSFW on her (then) TikTok account and talked about it to her other friends who were probably younger than her.

Screenshots of Tori being mean to me and my friends out of nowhere and for no reason. (The blue line was an unrelated message I deleted for the sake of space)

And, well, Tori being racist to our friend was the final straw. Sure maybe she was exagerating/lying about the doxx thing but we couldn't accept her being racist. So, I, Aline, ghosted Tori, which angered her quite a lot.

But instead of deleting the server, I just left it with Tori and my two friends in it (which was a dumb mistake). My two friends were left with this teenager they didn't like and were AFRAID OF while she stalked both me and them. I don't know what her objective was with all this but if she wanted to scare us, well then she did.

Our friends were so scared of her that they were afraid of cutting off their friendship normally. One of them even told me they were afraid Tori would doxx her if she unfriended her, and we were all looking for ways to get this girl out of our life so we could be in peace once and for all.

However, Tori used to LEAK Sleepacross' Patreon.

And why is this important? Well, because she once sent a google drive link with said patreon images to us once (I wasn't online at the time (it was late at night and I was in school) so I didn't see it) but her drive was e-mail locked. So basically, she had to approve which e-mail would be able to see the contents of her drive.

And this is how she was able to get a hold of my friends' personal e-mails. She could've very well deleted them from the drive's history but she KEPT THEM SAVED and used them to STALK and HARASS my two friends once they blocked her.

And after my friends blocked her e-mail address, Tori started STALKING AND HARASSING my OTHER friends, block evading and asking them to message me about why we left her.

Above are screenshots about the entire e-mail situation, as well as a the very e-mail Tori sent my friends and the conversation I had with the friend who received Tori's messages.

Tori said she didn't want to be my hater but she didn't know why I blocked her. And well, the answer is simple: Tori is transphobic (more on that below) Racist, xenophobic, ableist, Doxxed at least TWO people and is PROUD of it, found out where our friends lived and THREATENED TO DOXX THEM if they ever got on her bad side.

So like, aside from the fact we shouldn't even have talked in the first place, we were just scared that this TEENAGER would doxx us online and do something bad to us.

And also, remember when Tori said she didn't like NSFW or Hand Jumper anymore? Well, turns out she was lying. Because not only does she still post about Hand Jumper, she uses pictures from the webtoon to say the most CRUDE AND AWFUL THINGS I've EVER seen someone say.

Above are screenshots of Tori being ableist and transphobic (this was back when the olympics were going on and she sided against the woman who was suffering transphobia without even being trans at all)

And remember when Tori nearly used the N word against a black person? Well it seems she isn't above using slurs at all because she (a cisgender girl) called a trans person a slur with no remorse and with no reason. (Just Tori suddenly turning on her friends and being mean for no reason, i guess.)

Yesterday Tori got her friends together and started calling me names and making threats against my life. And I don't care whether they are just joking and being teenagers or not, but what they are saying is extremely problematic, especially because I know some of the people in that server are adults as well and should know better

I personally don't care about their threats and what ill they have to say about me. Let them speak, I don't care. Nothing these children ever say about me will be worse than the things I have to live with on a day-to-day basis, so like yeah keep talking. Your words can't reach me.

However, I am still making this post anyway. And you may say:

"Woah Aline, but aside from Tori's server and friend group this situation was private! Why are you exposing this at all?"

That's simple. Because Tori decided to include my friends into all of this. She can hate me all she want, send me death threats and suicide bait me all day, but if she has something against me, then she should keep it between me and her only. NOT the other girls.

She sent them all screenshots of our group chat (which were the few times we even spoke about NSFW) and didn't even censor my friends' names, and is trying to get her friends to rally against them, even if they literally didn't do anything wrong.

And I'm so sorry but. If I REALLY was the bad person Tori is making me out to be, surely she wouldn't go out of her way to block evade, stalk and harass my friends to get back into contact, with me, right?

If I really was bad, then she would've thanked GOD that I left her life, but she didn't. She always found a way to stalk both me and the other girls. And it's clear from her message to my other friend (screenshots above) that she was clearly mad and upset that we left her, and this all culminated in her talking shit about me and giving people that never even interacted with me before the wrong idea.

ALL my friends, not just the ones who were originally part of our gc, are afraid of her simply because they INTERACTED with her in the past. They are afraid she will doxx them or get her friends to attack them.

And the thing that made me write this post at all is because my best friend is scared for her life and feeling extremely suicidal because of this teenager who just doesn't know how to get my name out of her mouth.

My friends have been suffering with terrible anxiety and paranoia all because of Tori. Afraid of her and her little friend group, afraid of being doxxed and attacked online. They are afraid of interacting with the Hand Jumper fandom altogether because Tori is seen as some sort of "celebrity" and her word is law, especially because since she is a minor, people will always side with her no matter what.

So I made this post to finally pull off the bandaid and put the spotlight on myself, not the other girls.

Yes, it was my fault for keeping a friendship out of pity and not love. I was wrong for talking about NSFW near/with Tori. It didn't matter if I was also a minor at the time, I was still older and should have known better. It was wrong of me to do so despite me not having good intentions. Sure yeah my existence (or lack thereof) in Tori's life would not have changed whether or not she interacted/wrote NSFW things before the right time, but I shouldn't have interacted with her regardless. Sadly, I was naive then. I was wrong, and I apologize. Not to the strangers who are reading this, but to Tori, who I shouldn't even have been friends with in the first place.

And to Tori, this message is for you once someone sends you this post:

Despite everything you did, despite all the horrid things you've said about me, all the death threats and harm you've commited to me and my friends, I want you to know that I don't wish any harm upon you.

I'm sorry for ghosting you instead of sending you a proper goodbye. You must have felt very confused, especially because the others left you soon after. For that I am also guilty.

But I also acknowledge the fact that you know that you are wrong, and that you know your age doesn't make you innocent, but you still bring it up as a defense regardless because you know people will side with you no matter what you've done.

Was I in the wrong for talking about NSFW around you? Yeah.

But you were also wrong for saying slurs, for being racist, for doxxing someone and threatening to doxx your friends if they ever left you. You were wrong to leak the patreon and for making a harassment campaign against me. I know I was wrong too but doxxing, stalking, racism and harassment are also crimes in the USA.

You were transphobic on your Tiktok, said an absurdly ableist statement that I still cannot believe is real, and even without me in your life, you interacted/still interacts with NSFW posts both on Tiktok and AO3 (and I don't doubt you do so on Twitter as well, but I can't log on the website). So while you and your friends can call me disgusting for liking porn and dead doves, you are not all that different from me and you know that.

And I know you know that doxxing, racism, transphobia and ableism is worse than any fanfiction either I or you could have written, but you can't accept that.

You are probably what? 15 now? You aren't 8 yeard old. You are not a child. You know the weight of your words and yet you decide to speak them anyway because you think the word "minor" will get you a "get out of jail free card", but that only works for so long.

...

So, yeah. That's it. This is the post. I was wrong but Tori is also no saint. And if you are her friend and you are reading this, I think it's better you reconsider your choices before she starts harassing you, too.

And if you are a bystander and want to cuss me out, then sure, go forth. Shit on me for calling myself a proshipper, shit on me for doing something I knew was wrong, call me a freak and block me I DON'T CARE.

Just leave my girls out of this, because they are not guilty of anything. They just befriended the wrong person who had all the wrong intentions. Any hate and harassment should come to me and NOT them.

That's all I have to say.

I hope september treats you with kindness, and that everyone stays safe out there.

(Below are just a few screenshots of me and my friends talking about the situation, both during and after this entire debacle. I didn't have a place to put them in on the original post.)

[blueskittlesart]

i know you love tamaki but thoughts on each of the other hosts? my favourite is mori <3

full disclosure tamaki was my first real conscious fictional crush at the ripe age of 11 and TO THIS DAY i have to pause the show during the piano scenes to recover my dignity so he will always be my number one. my everything. my absolute love interest of all time. i could write essays on him for real. i HAVE written essays on him. that being said i can absolutely talk about the other hosts bc im literally obsessed w this show

haruhi was the gender blueprint. truly. girlboy swag. she and misa amane death note were definitely like. the two most influential characters on my personal style in middle and high school. this doesn't say anything good about me. she is also multifaceted and well characterized in a way that's SO refreshing for a romance protagonist. character of all time. also btw im the exact demographic this show was written for meaning i was a tamaki/haruhi truther from the very beginning. where is the tall blonde prince boy to my short stupid gnc bitch. when is it my turn to be happy

hikaru and kaoru. yes i know the twincest thing is weird but i am CHOOSING TO IGNORE IT because 1. the show is making fun of shoujo tropes. its SATIRE GUYS and 2. they are literally so well characterized that it MAKES SENSE THAT THEY DO IT. ugh. anyways kaoru was always my favorite of the two bc i love a man thats in tune with his own emotions. i like hikaru in theory but i think if i knew him in real life i would murder him. i am also obsessed with their characterization and backstory in general bc their specific brand of trauma is one that i so rarely see represented in media and i think they had a very realistic response to it?? like they're genuinely very well written characters i like them a lot. i could also probably write an essay about them

kyoya. im obsessed with him. hes a genius. hes an asshole. he runs a literal profitable business pimping out his besties. girls somehow like him despite him never actually showing affection to any of them in canon. hes literally the worst person alive. hes genuinely kindhearted despite everyone in his life attempting to beat it out of him. hes GAY. this is a joke mostly but i truly think that every decision in his life post-middle school is made because he is obviously, painfully in love with tamaki and also completely oblivious to this fact. like the show might attempt to make you think that hes got a thing for haruhi but literally every decision he makes is for tamaki's benefit (the manga is even MORE explicit about this btw and it makes me insane) and the entire time hes in denial about the fact that tamaki is literally everything to him. it's hilarious. "and so kyoya met him" uhhh fellas is it gay to consider the single most important event in your life to be meeting another man

i kinned honey in middle school for real and every time i think about it i want to die. i unfortunately still like cake. and rabbits. and i am still blonde and short. i might be haunted by this character for the rest of my life

i didn't get the appeal of mori at first tbh which might be a result of watching the anime 2 million times but never reading the manga LMAO bc he really is just a filler character in the show. but hes fun and i like him well enough. im sort of hoping he gets a little more room to be a real character in the manga tho bc ive like. just gotten out of the chapters that were adapted directly into the show so we're in uncharted territory now. im waiting for his chapter im SURE its coming

[ablednt]

Actually helpful advice for the kids on this hellsite

Once again tired of "don't make a carrd or tell people your triggers" posts going around literally telling kids it's Dangerous to set boundaries. So here's what I've learned in my teen years on how to stay safe in the hellscape that's the internet.

Identity

You don't have to link all your social media together but you can if you want to. Don't give out something that is more private (like discord account, Skype or zoom account, facebook, Snapchat etc.) publicly or to people who aren't familiar with yet though.

Use a nickname rather than your real name or birth name, an account and name change may unfortunately be necessary so if you want to keep a name safe or use it irl then don't attach it to public social media. This can be fun though! Go apeshit coming up with different aliases and names! Call yourself lizard if you want to!

The only thing you absolutely need to put somewhere on your account (or carrd) is that you're a minor. You don't have to give the exact age but I promise this is important because even if there's plenty of context clues that you're a minor if you don't indicate this somewhere clear and adults start treating you like shit you need to be able to point out that they're knowingly doing this to a minor. That has saved me from gross bullshit a lot. Yes, people should default to treating people who's ages they don't know as a minor to play it safe but the majority of people assume everyone is the same age as them so you need to make it clear you're not an adult.

Pronouns don't make you identifiable and anyone who acts like putting your pronouns in your bio is unsafe is probably transphobic lmao. You don't have to if you don't want to (and don't mind people not using/knowing your pronouns) but it's safe to put them there most of the time. (The only exception I can think of is if you're closeted and your parents may find your account but in that case you should probably stay closeted online to unless you feel safe/know they aren't likely to find your account.)

You don't have to list every privilege you have and you probably shouldn't but if you're white you probably should indicate this somewhere. This is to hold yourself accountable because yes even teenagers can be racist and underaged people of color also deserve to feel safe. If you're nonwhite and don't feel safe doing so you don't have to list your race or ethnicity.

If you're part of a system/plural or questioning you do NOT have to say your systems origins, if you have DID/OSDD, or list your headmates/alters. The system community has a lot of people in it (and singlets adjacent to parts of the community due to bullshit discourse groups welcoming them) who will target underaged systems to fakeclaim them or harass them etc. I suggest having everyone use aliases/nicknames on a system account and you only tell your origin to people you feel comfortable around and safe with. Your safety and privacy is more important than your trendy system carrd goals I promise!

You shouldn't really just list any disorders you have but it really does no harm to put marginalized identities you're proud of on a carrd or in your bio. You might get a shitty anon or two but I promise people aren't going to dox you if you say you're autistic on your carrd or something.

I personally wouldn't list any special interests that are particularly recognizable (popular media should be ok but more niche stuff may not be) or publicly share a kin list just because you never know if you'll want to switch up your identity online to feel safe and the more things are clearly tied to your current nickname and handle the harder it will be to do this. However if you feel safe doing so it's not the end of the world. Just be careful about it and don't feel pressured to give more info than you're comfortable giving.

You do NOT need to tell people your trauma in order to tell them your triggers. If you need something tagged with a tw you really should indicate this somewhere so people know to tag it (unless you intend to send every you're mutuals with an anon with what to tag which is also an option but may be difficult) but you shouldn't tell them your trauma or medical history to justify it. Your boundaries aren't up for debate and you have nothing to prove. You should only talk about your trauma if you feel safe doing so (and even then please don't give identifiable details like.names of people involved or specifics as that can cause serious problems.)

Boundaries & etiquette

DNIs are good! BYFs are good! Anyone who tells you that they're not good or useful is absolutely trying to disrespect your and other people's boundaries. You can and should make a DNI and list the people you don't want to interact with. (Generally it's better to say groups rather than specific people or names because it's easier to again not be recognized if you need to change accounts/aliases but you can do this if you have strong reasoning and absolutely have to to feel safe.)

DNIs (and also.trigger lists) don't have to all be bad things! You can put fandoms that make you uncomfortable, things that trigger you but aren't bad inherently, etc. on these lists. They're about helping you feel safe not having the hottest takes or being the most morally correct.

Some people you should put in your DNIs as a minor are proshippers/anti-antis and MAPs. Both of these groups have been proven time and time again to groom minors online so the earlier you get away from them the better.

Once you have your DNI please do be aggressive in reinforcing it! Block people who break your DNI, tell people who complain about your DNI to fuck off! Do not tolerate people trying to debate the boundaries You have set this is your corner of the internet to feel safe! They can go somewhere else! Being blocked by a kid on the internet is not the emotional blow abusers act like it is. You're not mean for having boundaries please internalize this and stand up for yourself!

If other people have a DNI you need to check that before following them this is for both your own safety and theirs. If you're unsure what something on someone's DNI means ask around to find out before following just in case.

Do NOT get involved in discourse! This doesn't mean you can't ever take part in or boost serious things. Discussing/calling out bigotry (racism, ableism, transphobia, etc.) isn't discourse. Sometimes callout posts for legitimately harmful people is necessary so that's not automatically bad. But I'm taking about the shit that's #discourse. Stay out of ace discourse. Stay away from syscourse. Don't debate with terfs or transmeds or shitty people. I know it seems like it'd be cathartic to win debates with shitty people, I know there's people who will try to bait you into the latest argument over which lgbt+ identities can say what slurs or whatever the fuck the pointless bad faith argument is, and I know you want to prove that your marginalized identity doesn't make you a bad person like bigots say it does. But as someone who's mental health was absolutely destroyed by discourse as a teen it's not worth it. By all means discuss issues as they arise, broaden your perspectives and horizons, etc. but don't engage knowingly in discourse it will save you so much trouble in the long run.

Try to avoid talking to adults 1x1 if you can avoid it! It's okay to dm with an adult you feel safe talking to sometimes and while it's certainly okay not to interact with adults at all if you don't feel.comfortable it's generally okay to do so. But if an adult is going out of their way to consistently talk to you in private needlessly that can be a red flag. If an adult tries to insinuate that they're the only adult around you can trust that's DEFINITELY a red flag. Basically talk to people in places you can easily involve others if needs be. If someone sends you a dm that makes you uncomfortable screenshot it in case you need to show someone etc.

Don't discuss NSFW things with adults, in spaces adults have easy access to (for example a discord server open to all ages), or even with other underaged people who haven't indicated they're comfortable with it. There's nothing inherently wrong with being aware of nsfw stuff or experiencing sexual attraction as a teenager but it's very important that you don't put yourself in situations that may be unsafe for you or others. Most good discord servers have rules against this for this exact reason. Now, to make it abundantly clear, if you did or do ever say something nsfw and an adult takes advantage of this or responds in a way that makes you uncomfortable this is NOT your fault! The responsibility falls on adults to act appropriately but it's still a good idea to keep youeself out of harms way.

That's basically it on a general level. Once again, posts telling you not to make DNIs or carrds or trigger lists (all used to set clear boundaries) are very suspect and either grossly misunderstand how these things work or are intentionally demonizing them in order to have more opportunity it excuse to do harm. Setting clear boundaries is good. Doing things that help you feel safe and respected is good. Just don't go and get involved in discourse or give out personal information or anything.

[violexides]

Slavmaeda- My (Hopefully Only) Statement

Note: The times listed here are mostly in EST. If it is in another time, it will state in parentheses. The other time will usually be Polish time.

Another Note: @slavmaedasaga exists, now, for all the posts. I don’t know who made it.

Possible Blackened-

Fir (aka Firanka)

Sunflower

Marshpy

Daniel

Jago

People who follow Sunflower / Marshpy / Fir / Jago

Gay Nagito Komaeda 

Experiencecarrots

Slavmaedasaga

Monokuma File- At an unspecified time this morning, Sunflower received an anon, posting “Slavmaeda rights” continuously until hitting the character limit. At 9:12 AM, Firanka confirms to receiving a similar ask. At 9:17 AM, Fir announces the case to a public discord server, “Danganronpa 2: Tropical Despair”. At 3:50 PM (POLISH TIME), Marshpy receives this ask. At 10:13 AM (or six minutes later, according to Fir), Jago receives a Slavmaeda rights ask. Then, everything went to hell.

TRUTH BULLETS

Alternate Anons: Other anons during this initial period of time were sending Sunflower asks.

“Fir”: One of these anons, not sent by Fir, uses her nickname.

Marshpy’s Account: She states to not having enough bastard energies, as well as her identity as “not Slavic” as proof of her innocence.

See: Marshpy’s Confession.

Marshpy’s Confession: Marshpy admits to sending the asks that went to sunflower and Fir, but none others.

She says she thought it would be funny.

Jago’s Account: [Jago’s] main line of defense is the website & the fact [Jago is] managing a group RP at the same time, [Jago] didnt even have tumblr opened until the situation started.

Jago proves in a screenshot that the first time she opened tumblr was at 10:12 AM.

Sunflower’s Account: She was typing up a character analysis, talking on a server, and answering other posts. Therefore, she did not have time to post these.

Worth noting that later, she would mark the times she was on/off tumblr.

Fir’s Account: She claims to being “confused the entire time”, which she admits herself is a weak alibi. She also states which specific anons she sent sunflower, none of these being the Slavmaeda posts.

See: Fir’s Confession.

Typing Patterns: The first ask was the same set of three “Slavmaeda rights” copy pasted, meaning that every third “Slavmaeda rights”, starting from the first one, had a capital S.

The second was in this same pattern.

The third was in all caps.

The forth had alternating letter capitalization.

Note: After this point, so many asks were coming in that it is hard to establish which typing patterns were used. However, it is worth saying that there were different typing and capitalization patterns.

Notes (Kind of useless but I typed it so whatever): As of typing this, Jago’s post received no notes.

Marshpy’s only received Sunflower and Fir’s declarations of innocence.

Sunflower’s posts received scattered notes.

Fir’s received an unspecified number of notes.

Sunflower’s posts, later, were reblogged frequently by the account “slavmaedasaga”

Daniel’s Account: Daniel is a bastard.

They have no tumblr account, so they can’t leave notes.

Anons can be sent without a tumblr account.

See: Daniel’s Confession.

Jago’s Website: “[It’s] not finished and navigation still is wonky but I can show if I need to prove [I’m] not really paying attention to tumblr rn”

It’s a really dope website not going to lie.

Just. Well done, Jago.

However, this could have been an alibi, planned, as Jago has been watching but suspiciously not contributing much.

Class Trial Rules: Only the first blackened gets punished.

This has nothing to do with anything.

We aren’t a class so technically it’s not a class trial.

But this is still an interesting point, motivation wise.

RickRolling Part One: Daniel is a bastard and a Mikan Kinne.

Deleted Message: Fir paraphrases it as “[trial participants] haven’t noticed something.”

This was deleted.

Daniel sent it.

Threat: “The Slavmaeda Revolution will continue without you” was sent to Marshpy at 10:31 AM.

Daniel claims this was not them.

Fir’s Confession: Fir claims to have sent the Slavmaeda asks to Jago and Marshpy, but did not send the Slavmaeda Revolution asks.

Rickrolling Ask: Someone copy and pastes the lyrics to “Never Gonna Give You Up” and sends it to Fir. After maybe a minute, she receives another Slavmaeda Rights ask.

This Slavmaeda Rights has the same typing patterns as Marshpy’s, except it cuts itself off at the end with a dash.

Threat Redux: Sunflower receives an ask that says “the slavmaeda nation shall remain eternal”

Gay-Nagito-Komaeda’s Account: They just follow Fir and are confused.

They’re innocent it’s just worth noting.

They later joined the Tropical Despair Discord Server.

Sunflower’s Ask: “slavmaeda is inevitable. succumb.”

10:55 AM.

Unsettling Truth: There is no way to track this, because, while certain asks have to have been sent by people in the server contextually, there could be people following Sunflower sending her asks, Fir sending her asks, etc.

Re: The Unsettling Truth: “Slavmaeda has already infiltrated your little trial. You are not safe there. Submit to the revolution.”

10:58 AM

Sunflower’s New Ask: The same Slavemaeda Rights that came with the Rickroll Fir received.

Sunflower’s Time Off Tumblr: 11:07 AM-11:09

11:20 AM-

Other Shit: “Rick rolling is the Slavmaeda National Anthem” (11:09 AM) (Fir)

Slavmaeda Rights (Robyn) (11:11 AM)

“Slavmaeda Slavmaeda Slavmaeda Slavmaeda” (Fir) (11:13) (not an anon, sent as daniel)

Daniel’s Confession: This fucking Mikan Kinnie.

Sent “a lot of [fir’s asks]” and “sent the revolution one to marshpy”

Experiencecarrots: “slavmaeda is the only alibi :)”

I’m gonna be honest, nobody on this server claims to be carrots.

So I have no fucking clue what is going on.

By the way, [I] is Sunflower.

THOUGHTS BEFORE POSTING:

It’s so fucking hard to track so I’m not sure if this is even accurate. This is the most information I’ve got. I’m also tired, so I haven’t looked through this in too much depth. But I think this is correct.

HANGMAN’S GAMBIT

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

r e v o l u t i o n

WHITE NOISE

Lyrics to Never Gonna Give You Up

EDIT ONE - The server this is on is Danganronpa 2: Tropical Despair. 

EDIT TWO - Ignore the Hangman’s Gambit and White Noise, I got carried away.

EDIT THREE - Experiencecarrots confirms to not be on the server. I sort of figured because I think we were mutuals long before this happened, but at the same time, I’m confused as all hell.

EDIT FOUR - Maybe the real culprits were the friends we made along the way.

EDIT FIVE - Carrot’s Account (via tumblr): “Hey hey hey! I only liked the post because I refresh my feed every 2 seconds and like whatever’s there. And I follow pretty much anyone I find, so ha. Also thanks for letting me be a suspect, quite the honor if I say so myself :)” This is regarding claims of being suspicious due to being the first likes on posts, as well as following slavmaedasaga.

EDIT SIX - Gay Nagito Komaeda’s Confession: They sent Fir the rickroll ask, which was incredibly coincidental, considering that they were not in the Tropical Despair Server at the time they sent it, nor at the time Daniel rickrolled us. That was pure fucking luck. Holy shit.

EDIT SEVEN - slavmaedasaga is, most likely, on Tropical Despair. They updated the rickroll post with, in the tags, “komaeda”, meaning that they knew that it was Gay Nagito Komaeda. HOWEVER, I am aware that I updated my post with this information. We have no actual timestamps of who did what exactly, but it was within minutes of each other. My personal thoughts are that this is a person on the server, but I’m not certain.

EDIT EIGHT - slavmaedasaga claims to be a single person. It is worth considering that they could not be, but I have a feeling like they are a single person. 

EDIT NINE - Daniel knows who slavmaedasaga is. It’s probably Daniel, isn’t it. We should have seen that coming. (But I will hold my suspicions until they say it themself.)

EDIT TEN - I want to make a public apology for mistreating my spaghetti. I understand that, in the light of recent allegations regarding slavmaeda and the trial ongoing to find the blackened, it may have appeared as if I have been so caught up in the information that I forgot to treat my spaghetti with care. I assure you in the future that I will never hurt my spaghetti again. 

EDIT ELEVEN - There is now a tumblr blog called “slavmaeda rights”, which is entirely focused on slavmaeda rights. I’m losing my mind.

EDIT TWELVE - Slavmaedarights deleted their post that had “Slavmaeda rights” over and over.

EDIT THIRTEEN - Worth clarifying. There are technically two “og Slavmaeda” people. One is Fir, who started all of this by mentioning the concept of slavmaeda. The other is Marshpy.

EDIT FOURTEEN - Slavmaedasaga is in Tropical Despair. We raised suspicions in this server (More specifically, Gay Komaeda Nagito did) that they were the same as slavmaedarights. They very quickly made a post denying this. Therefore, they have to have been in the server. 

EDIT FIFTEEN - Slavmaedarights posted again (just slavmaeda rights over and over) then deleted it. I never saw this with my two eyes. Marshpy and Gay Nagito Komaeda are eye witnesses. Some of the “S”s in rights were capitalized, according to Marshpy, which is vital to consider. Marshpy claims that there is no isolated S in this post, but she isn’t certain. Also worth considering. A deviation from a familiar pattern, which is interesting. 

EDIT SIXTEEN - TWO CRUCIAL BITS OF INFO! The description of Slavmaedasaga is “Hope” in Bulgarian. Also, Daniel bluffed when they said, in the Tropical Despair server, that they knew who “Saga” is. They just wanted clout. This is important info-- we have no leads on Slavmaedasaga. But we do know that it was likely not Daniel. Daniel accuses Marshpy. who knows. 

EDIT SEVENTEEN - Marshpy was shopping when "Saga” started, and Daniel sent a cryptic smiley face. They claim they were wrong about accusing Marshpy. 

EDIT EIGHTEEN - SLVRights = Damien. They aren’t the same person as SLVSaga. Daniel has shown evidence that they only have one blog. I’m getting funky anons. One anon is the same person, sending theories. There are some others. The theory anon also called me sun, which isn’t explicitly odd but I guess you can consider it. Not sure what else to say. 

EDIT NINETEEN - Haven’t been updating this enough. I’m getting a lot of messages and asks. “Beg. Beg for the answers. Slavmaeda is an unforgiving god. -Damien” was posted, then deleted, on the SLVRights blog in binary. I have an anon in binary. I’m inclined to believe they aren’t the same person. Someone on the server, not related on the tumblr side but helpful on the server side, has a theory. They have yet to say. I have a new ask.

EDIT TWENTY - Firanka wanted me to say that a lot of Tropical Despair people are having wifi issues. I highly doubt this is relevant. Damien posted something. I won’t type it here, because it is long, but I’ll see if I can reblog it. If not, I’ll write a transcript. Thanks for sticking with me. 

EDIT TWENTY ONE - A lot has gone on. Worth saying, I turned off my anonymous asks. Nothing happened. As in like, nobody sent any asks. One of my friends did as a test. I kept it like that for a while. But, as Daniel put it, cryptid hints are better than no hints. 

EDIT TWENTY TWO - Further clarification, for those lost. According to present information, Binary, Saga, and Damien are all separate people. That is as far as we know. I don’t know everyone who did this, so I apologize if I leave certain people out, but Daniel, Nebby, Firanka (there is still suspicion), Glitter (on server), and I have shown screenshots proving we only have our one blog. There are likely loopholes, but... worth considering.

EDIT TWENTY THREE - New stuff surfacing. I’m worried people are getting anxious because of some of this. If you are, please prioritize yourself. Like, literally, even if you’re a huge part of this, if you’re getting stressed? Take a breather. Stay safe. Alright? Not to be the mom of this situation. But it’s important. Take care of yourself. I’m leaving this pinned, but as it winds down, i’m probably gonna unpin this post. But, still here if you ever want to figure stuff out. 

EDIT TWENTY FOUR - Approaching 400 posts. That’s interesting. Also, the suspect list on here isn’t updated. Updated information is in the edits alone. I haven’t even looked at the truth bullets since posting.

EDIT TWENTY FIVE - “Binary” was run by @experiencecarrots. We don’t know who Saga or Damien (now going by just “B”) is. But. Most of this has settled down.

EDIT TWENTY SIX - “Saga” was @firankamipinska. Still waiting for B.

EDIT TWENTY SEVEN - No closer to finding out B. A new day has started. Slavmaedanation has been created. They “declared war” against B. 

EDIT TWENTY EIGHT - @gayer-nagito-komeada was Rights. To be honest. I don’t know how we didn’t see that one coming. But. There you go. They’re Damien/B/Rights. Now it’s just Nation to figure out. 

EDIT TWENTY NINE - Nation is @firankamipinska. I’m not really surprised, probably because she told me she was Nation. Nation was essentially supposed to figure out who Damien was. I was too tired to give much of a shit. I woke up at 7 yesterday. I had no fucking spoons. Zero. 

FINAL EDIT - Four blogs, a discord server, a channel in a discord server, and many friends were made through the Slavmaeda experience. Thank you all for embarking on this crazy ass experience with us. I can’t believe that the day after my birthday, I helped create a meme. Have a nice day. 

[endersketch]

An Apology - Please Read the whole thing

Last year around August, I joined an ego discord server. It was a wonderful server run by someone I still think of as a friend, even if we don’t talk anymore. And for good reason. I was not kind then… and I realize now why. It wasn’t a good place for me, and perhaps it wasn’t a good place to be after so much had happened within. The inner circles of that place were run differently then I would have liked, at the time. We had a Not Safe For Work chat that was only open to those of age, 18 or older. I was very overly sexual, and it upset and made some people uncomfortable. I wanted to be sexual with people I thought were comfortable with it, and at one point they probably were. But as I kept going, I assume it quickly became bad. People messaged me about it, and I was quick to apologize. But I was still angry. 

I never publicly expressed this, but I did to this friend.  I wanted to be in a relationship with him, and when he said no I got angry, annoyed. I tried to open his eyes to what life actually was, and how he couldn’t be this person forever. But it wasn’t my place. I did some awful things I’m not proud of. I say some things that I know now are wrong and I left. It wasn’t right of me to control them, or try to let them control me. It was very different than ‘the group of friends’ I wanted them to be. I wish now that someone had opened my eyes to what I was doing and I didn’t have to do it myself. But that is the best way to learn.

During this time I was in another server run by Bird of Prey. He was very kind to me, the other people on the server let me rant out my troubles and I thought I had found friends. This was all around my birthday, when I finally left the other server for good. During that time several people had blocked my old friend over things that I had told them. This brought up some screenshots of our conversations and Bird of Prey brought it to my attention. I was upset and confused, hurt that someone had taken private screenshots and shown them to him. I explained I was not proud of what I said. At this point I had realized that it wasn’t right, that it wasn’t my place to control him or what he should be. I was regretful and deeply sorry for what I had done and I was trying to change. He, thankfully, supported me. And it was something I was truthful about. Even now, I am trying to change. And I will forever be grateful that he came to me, to hear my side.

By this point I had created my own server on the side, asking some friends if they would like to join. It would be a smaller server stemming off of the one Bird of Prey had made. My own manor, where we could do as we pleased. I will say, I had mostly created it for nsfw purposes, but I picked who was able to join based on how I knew them on Bird’s. Every member was over 18, I made sure of this, having dealt with minors accidentally getting into other servers before. Here we could roleplay our characters, our egos, and ourselves as we pleased. We had a pair of great months, at least from my perspective. We roleplayed and grew our characters and I loved them all. I was very close with two of the members and I had hoped to visit them this summer. But this is where the trouble happened. I will now tie together the original call out post by Starybinch, and my own experience.

There were a few things that upset me, specifically over Starybinch’s egos. I was at one point very close to his Blue Google: Beta. Beta was someone I cared deeply for, I wanted to rp and talk with him and do so many things. But Starybinch stopped roleplaying him. He had mentioned off hand that someone kept bugging him about him. I knew it was me, I felt awful. Suddenly all of Julian’s egos seemed rude to me, mean and accusing of so many small things. I wish I had talked to him about it straight on, especially since I had a hunch the reason he wasn’t playing Beta was because of me. I’m a firm believer, after everything I’ve done, that talking it out is the best action. We were both adults, both people perfectly capable of placing out our differences and trying to find common ground. But I didn’t. And I believe that was my fault. I wish I had. I was angry and upset that everyone else was getting their Google bot interaction, and everytime I tried to do something, they would lash out, even after I tried to apologize. But I believe that all ties into the next thing.

Hindsight is 20/20. I fully believe this. As we roleplayed I jumped into conversations with egos, I tried interacting where other people were busy. At the time I thought I was not doing anything wrong, nothing anyone else had done. It was rude of me to do these things. However, it was too late when I realized how sevier this problem was to others. I realized this when Starybinch’s Host lashed out at me. I was deeply hurt, and truly sorry for doing this. I messaged him and asked if everything was okay. And this was for everything, I wanted to know what I had done to make the egos hate me, if I had done anything to Starybinch to make the emotions he was feeling bleed into his roleplay. I’ve seen it done in the past. At the time I didn’t realize they’d told me about twice to shut up and let people talk. Starybinch said “everything was fine.” But now I see it wasn’t. I know I should have realized I was doing something wrong before I had to ask, but I also wish that Starybinch had told me what was wrong instead of saying everything was fine. I wish he hadn’t felt like he had to keep the problems with me secret. 

Then the anon came. They started threatening Starybinch. It was something that caused him to leave once and come back. I felt so awful that something like this was happening to a friend of mine. Worse, they were mentioning a server. He thought it was either of the two main ones he was in, mine and Bird of Prey’s. That happened a few weeks ago, before everything went to shit. The anon was quiet, for a while, until they came back full force. They mentioned things from my server, egos that Starybinch had played. Things he had done. Instantly, StarShineRobotic turned on me. Blaming me for everything, all these awful things being said. I was broken, I was shaken. Pleading for anyone to listen to me that I hadn’t sent those. I never would. But several people left. The server was dead. Something that was once so lively and active was suddenly barren. StarShine left, one of Starybinch’s friends left. Starybinch had left before the accusations began because of the anons. I was heartbroken, I was angry they would accuse me of something I would never think of doing. I tried working with my remaining friends to see what could be done. To see if someone would come forward. No one did. We never found out who sent those anons. 

I couldn’t believe anyone in our server would do this. At the time we were just pointing fingers, trying to figure out who on the server could do this. We kept pointing fingers at everyone, unable to see how anyone could be the anon. But all the pointing fingers came back to me. The anon conntinued to mention things that could only be known if they were in the server. The anon also mentioned a different server which surprised me, since we hadn’t talked about another server and I didn’t know of one. 

I know now that everyone of them had another server, one that everyone else had for months. Starybinch confessed this when he snapped at me, but I’ll mention that later.

I was so sure everything had been fine these past few months. But then again, what did I know. My anxiety was through the roof as everyone was pressuring me, trying to make me do something, someone needed to go but who? I eventually kicked 3 people. We were down to 5. Our group of 14 had shrunk so fast over something that could have been talked out. Starybinch returned and we sat there for a while, trying to figure out who. I was exhausted, I was tired, emotionally distressed over what to do about this. I was having to manage a group of friends over something so horrid, so awful. At the time I had the terrifying thought that someone was framing me, but I didn’t know who.

The anon continued to send asks, threatening to come to Starybinch’s house and kill his dog, Taffy. The sweetest dog ever. If this was the point that people would believe me, it wasn’t. They accused me still, wondering why and how I could do such a thing. How I could say homophobic and transphobic things to a friend, how I could tell someone to kill themselves. It wasn’t me, I told them over and over. I swore on my life, on my friendships, on the love I had for two specific people… people I thought loved me too.

Starybinch and I had a moment of clarity when I explained everything I have written here today. Obviously I didn’t want to mention some of the things, as I thought most of them had been resolved. Starybinch had come forward to say he was upset because of how much attention I had been getting over his bots. How much they had started to love me. He was angry that I was able to interact but not him. I told him how I had been upset over everything as well. I didn’t want anything between us. I told the truth, I spilled my heart to someone I trusted and loved with my whole heart. However, not 10 mins later he told me the real truth.

Starybinch told me everything, things began to unfold. He told me how everyone had hated me since February, how everything I had done was wrong. How they had screenshots and receipts long past. How he hated me, how they had another server. How they have proof the anons were me and how I was making everyone uncomfortable. They gave me screenshots of role plays I thought were just stories. They told me I was obsessive, controlling, how I had made everyone hate me so fast. And I will tell you now some truths.

Yes I posted nudes, I thought I did in a group of friends. No one said anything about it. I thought I was in a trusted group where I could do this, show something I was proud of. I made fun in rps because it’s a roleplay. They are characters. If you as the runner were uncomfortable you should have told me, you should have told me so much sooner about everything! Why didn’t you, why did you drag it out just to give this big reveal? No one came to my aid, no one believed me. I had no one, no one to believe me, no one to support me. They were sorry that my “rich and privileged upbringing had made me so blind to other people’s troubles” how I was selfish and awful and controlling. 

To another point, I have never erotically roleplayed with a minor. I will tell you that I was close, and I did flirt with two blogs on tumblr that I had no idea were minors. They were a Darkiplier and Googleplier rp blog of two friends. When I discovered that they were minors I stopped. I stopped and explained how I was uncomfortable with it. They were cool and we maybe talked on and off for about a month. I haven’t talked with them since. This was about a year ago. Every since I’ve been very careful with who I roleplay with. I ask and make sure I know the person well before even getting into nsfw territory. 

This entire thing drove me straight down into a dark place. I was very lucky that when I left the voice call that I was in, that my friend sent my brother to check up on me. I am very lucky for my real friends, my family and my partner for supporting me through this hard time.

I have shown you I have done awful things… things that I’m not proud of. I can show you I’m trying to change and I’m growing. I can assure you that after all of this I will take a long time to learn from my past before going back. But if there is one thing I wouldn’t do, it’s wish the death of another person. I would never threaten someone or their pets, no matter how much I like, or dislike them. I would never try to do these things. 

I am sorry that I’ve done these things, I will be sorry about it for the rest of my life. I never want to be like that person again, and I will use what I have learned to fix that. I will be taking a long hiatus from tumblr, and maybe posting on my other platforms. I will take this time to focus on growing. I will learn and change in this time of rest and recovery. I wish I didn’t and I wish that others didn’t have to make a post like that about me. I never wanted my past conversations used or shown to the public. I wish I could have seen where I was wrong. I’m sorry for all of this.

[haila-wetyios]

Raiding

Since it became a pretty long post, Imma just throw this under a Read More. It’s not about current tumblr drama fashion. So no popcorn scene for you peeps. Just my experience as a whole and to finally let go of a few feelings that kept weighting on me for a good while until my current team took me in.

The first time I ever advertised on a PF that I was seeking a raid team, was during the final months of ARR. I was a complete scaredy cat, anxious of whether I'd be good enough to work on a team that required more coordination than pugs to get things such as extreme primals or savage raids done. Off I go as a SMN main, panicked as my raid leader of that team joined my party for a brief interview. Afterwards though, during our first joint team efforts for HW content (Ravanna and Bismark extreme at that time) I discovered that I wasn't as bad as I thought. On the contrary, I was too perceptive of everything to the point I would rush to do mechanics assigned to our newbie healer who after several explanations would still not do the thing. Despite my huge insecurities of probably not doing the relevant rotations down to the last skill, my ego started to rise a bit when parsers started to take more and more of conversations between static members. And although I would never ask about my numbers directly, I would celebrate in silence when reading the overall party dps the moment I realized mine had been at the top even with a ninja and a dragoon in the party. That should have been a flag to me now that I look back for being a caster that was doing more damage than the melee. But I didn't know any better, and stayed with my group regardless throughout the entirety of gordias savage. Every week would be the same pummeling against the horrifying Faust dps check, then the first turn's boss, then the second turn until we finally hit the wall of jigglyman and disbanded. I didn't have much complains, despite how tiring it was, I had long since given up on those clears and instead turned each night into 'training to see how long I can last the moment shit hits the fan in any given fight'. And boy did I get a ton of experience down that lane.

The next times I started looking into content once more, I could only play the part of a sub for any group of people I trusted due to life and time issues. But I still took pride in being that one stable sub that could support any group on any extreme primal through HW. I still lament that I was never able to go through Midas and Alexander savage when they were relevant and merely watched from the sidelines.

Then SB came up, and I merely stood aside once more for the first Tier with Exdeath. Except this time, the frustrations of not having been there while I watched all my friends start doing EX's and savage content had finally gotten to me. And lo' and behold, suddenly I was back on square 1, trembling in fear while waiting on my PF announcement that I was looking for a group for Sigma (Kefka times). Nearly died the moment I had two people with interesting names join in my party and just grab me on the spot. I had no idea what I was getting into, they mentioned they just needed a caster slot for the new rag tag group they had built, but at least I had a team! Then the first day of raid came up, and right off the bat I was terrified at the fact that our raid leader was missing, being replaced just for that moment with the FC leader instead. Turns out my entire group save for the ninja, were a raiding FC with multiple groups going in through the week. And what was the first comment of the night pray tell? Well "No one should be here with X ilvl gear." Who was it aimed at? Well, to the only potato that for the first time was slightly outdated in 2 pieces of gear for not being active before the patch dropped. That was the moment that marked my spiraling down a rabbit hole that I wish I could let go of easily but still has a tight grip on me to this day.

I felt like crap, I fought my best and did research on how to be a better caster. Other than the FC leader's comment, no one berated me or spoke about me on a negative light. But it still left a mark in which I kept trying to prove myself and be useful. Suddenly I would find myself cursing at my skills. Hating how no matter how hard I tried with everything, I would never be able to even pass the goddamned Stone, Sky and Sea for savage raids. But we were still getting things done. Two new savage turns down in a single week of release? That felt incredible and also bittersweet. Because any time that my party members celebrated their purples and golds in fflogs, I would be in a corner, self destructing with greys. I kept trying and trying, until my coping mechanism ended up being "I'm just a fill in. But if I'm just this, I'm damn going to do a job stable enough to have a place here." Then things started turning out easier to deal with. I had noticed the goofiness of a lot of the members despite the numbers that dictated their runs, I gave up on my grey numbers and focused on getting their asses up if someone made a mistake. To support the healers as much as possible with mana shift and such. I started putting my experience of keeping the party alive to more use while I slowly tried to recover the confidence I had lost when starting the tier. Granted, they didn't care for the group as much as I did. No amount of hanging out after raid times or helping was enough for the few in charge to announce when we were done raiding after months of being together. They just stopped one day until their FC leader asked me if I was aware of the 'disbanding'.

Then it was time to switch gears, for the first time I thought my work had bore fruit when I was recruited into the FC leader's group instead, and all was well.... Until it wasn't, we kept having to replace members left and right, specially healers and tanks. Progress was slow, sometimes we’d clear Chaos and Midgarsormr, and others it would be a mess depending on the random team comp we had for the week. Things should have been better by the time we made it to Omega, half the party had cleared with their mains after all. Except that it was the point where everything went south in the background.

We had gained a good White Mage, who would complain about random jibber jabber every now and then, but that was fine, no biggie. Then they brought in their former co-healer from their previous static, a Scholar, and all was supposed to be fine. But then something happened that slowly started to wear us all out. For some reason, we suddenly were struggling some more with Midgarsormr, and then Omega.... Boy, even if we had previously cleared, suddenly the three days with 3 hours of raid time each went on on that goddamned turn, and then the final 15 min would go for Omega Male and Female and the reason was hard to tell at first, we were doing the same old after all. It wasn’t until nearly a month of wiping that probably the group had started to realize what was wrong. Our Scholar wasn’t exactly pulling his full weight.

This is what caused probably something that I should have seen coming and that stuck with me for a long while until now that I found this draft I worked on when the wound became fresh again from just thinking about it. It’s just frustrating, sad to a degree and I brought part of it on myself for trying so hard to be useful to no one. What happened? Well, the leader didn’t want to get involved into any drama by only kicking the Scholar because they were friends with the White Mage, so a disbanding was supposed to be the better way to end things. Except the leader decided to do it in a different and up to date still a very shitty fashion. 

Right after we’d finished the last raiding night for the week, he posted an announcement about how people, aka his FC members were tired of constantly bashing their heads against Omega with little success and so they were gonna reform. By kicking the only outsiders of the static team. The White Mage, the Scholar, and me. There was no further explanation, no messages to me, nothing. I was just tossed like that after +6 months of knowing this FC and having raided and hung out with a good chunk of their members. I’d sacrificed so much for them. My time, my confidence to a degree, I had been a slave to their parsers more than a few occasions each time I heard them celebrating or complaining about their numbers. All because I wanted to feel like I could stand on the same levels as them. And I did to a good degree. I reached a point where I knew that my abilities weren’t as bad as the greys on my numbers showed me. But it meant nothing to any of them in the end. No message from the leader that up to that point had kept communication with me for raid times and other stuff. No reaction from the peeps I’d raided the most with. 

The most ironic part that I still respect? The only person to apologize, the only one that actually took the time to send me a message after the whole group ‘disbanded’ was the dragoon that I had only ever heard speak about their golden parses and nothing else on discord. We hadn’t even talked up until then. But he still cared more than the people that had known me for longer in that group. Granted, I did get to throw at least a cent in the raid channel about what I thought before getting kicked, so he probably wanted to come out clean on that. 

I am glad to no avail that I will never have to see them again, because the server splits sent them to a different data center. But it still left a deep mark on me when it came to XIV. I stopped logging in to do any content for a while, focused more on screenshots, on shady flower lady times until I could learn to love the game again. It probably took longer than I would have liked because all of this happened at the exact time that my friends from my crew had dived into raiding at a deeper level. I got to see them celebrate clearing the final omega. Then server transferring to be with their static before the great split or quitting. And then with Shadowbringers hearing “We’re not looking for a dps caster slot.” Each time anyone needed a fill in for their group. 

All this left me at an odd spot, being the veteran that keeps up groups or dungeons on normal modes, but having a hard time trying to get back into my niches in the game. My way of getting through raid had been to think of myself as being replaceable or worthless, but still trying to keep my hope that I’m actually valuable. Getting through all of it alone is not the solution now that I can let go of that bitterness of not being appreciated even as a person. I just happened to get a random chance to try out filling in for a group for a friend. But it wasn’t that what helped me the most both to be back on raids and to have finally built back my confidence. They probably didn’t think that I would check, but I’m the curious kind. Specially when you join a discord that has brief mentions of you on the recent chat. And seeing them mention me, and then vouching over my skills as a player, and how I was their first friend in the server? Well, despite having trouble expressing any feelings myself most of the time, when I get to think of it, you have no idea how much it meant to me. 

I managed to get back on what I like and enjoy most of what I do after deciding to take another leap of faith and join this group despite my stigma. Granted, mentions of parses and all will always be there. But not letting them define you, and believing in what you can and can’t do in content, I think is the best choice you can make to have a healthy experience and enjoy yourself as much as possible. 

[snipzss]

Calling out a racist ex toxic friend that sends death threats.

PLEASE SPREAD AWARENESS BY REBLOGGING PLEASE.

TW: mentions of suicide, people saying the n word, death threats, and mentions of r@p3 So, how did this all begin? let me explain: it was a normal day on discord i was just on a server chilling with people. there was this person who was always venting constantly every hour. so i decided to call them out. after a couple of months i created a friend group with people named: moxxie morgan elliot sage michael and me (my name is martin btw but my friends sometimes call me rex)

So moxxie and morgan were dating, they were couple goals (literally). and morgan always flirted with other people. moxxie always stopped her from doing that and stuff. then morgan breaks up with moxxie then gets back together with him again. then moxxie was sick and tired of everything and broke up with morgan and blocked her.  Morgan starts dating elliot (btw elliot and me have been friends for 9 years) morgan still flirts with everyone else (she even flirted with me) so i decided to tell elliot because why wouldn’t i. elliot agrees that it’s wrong so after a while we call out morgan and elliot breaks up with her. We then ban her from our friend group server.  Morgan sends an alt account into our server to stalk us so we ban her. Her other friends were in the server so she tells her friends to stalk us. She made a video with a picture of my face saying i’m ugly. i only wanted my face shown to my friends and not the entire internet. So ofc i report the video and it got taken down a couple days later. Morgan apologizes and me, elliot, sage, and michael pretend to forgive her.  We invite her back into our friend group server and she invites moxxie without our permission... (moxxie is also racist he also talks about r@p3 like it’s something normal). Elliot bans moxxie from the server and morgan aswell. Morgan calls us toxic friends even tho she was the toxic one.  Time flies by and morgan constantly tells elliot to kill himself.. i DM morgan about this and she tells me to join a server named “,,” so i join it, all her friends start attacking us for posting memes, and tell elliot to kill himself.. after that elliot tried to overdose and ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks.. (i visited him and comforted him the entire time he was in the hospital)  Morgan’s friends then leaked elliots full name. and they also made a joke saying “elliot do u need more meds, hol up i gotchu”. me, elliot, sage, and michael block them. morgan apologizes so we pretend to accept the apology and pretend to be friends with her to see if she does anything. (this entire time she was talking behind our backs and we knew it anyways) Few weeks pass by and morgan sends elliot a DM on may 9th 2022. it said that she catfished elliot (she used the wrong definition for catfishing btw) and told elliot that he was a r slur. Elliot tells me about it so i go to morgans DMs and tell her “hey that’s not cool why would you do that? like just because he didn’t accept your apology doesn’t mean you have to be rude” Morgan thinks she’s super smart right now but she just said the n word, she’s white. her gacha OC is also white aswell. below this i will show screenshots for proof. (ufane is morgan, annoying scoutTF2 is moxxie and assassin crusader) all these ss are all taken in different times so a lot of peoples username change. below the ss that has morgan saying smth like “what r u gonna do hump my leg” is the ss of her saying the n word. some ss show her flirting with some people. btw morgan is 12 (i didn’t know this until recently) elliot is 15, sage and michael are 14, and i’m 16. also tori is the person we called out for faking suicide. (also idk if moxxie is black or white so he might not be racist) (also about morgan saying that elliot called moxxie daddy. that was a joke to make morgan be jealous so she knows how it feels)

[s-trangecore]

I need a place to vent so I’ll do it here

TWs in the tags

So I have a friend, who we’ll call F1 because I’m absolutely uncreative, and a few other friends (F2, F3), plus someone I still hold a grudge against (P1) and my ex (EX). As well as two victims (V1, V2)

I used to use discord very frequently, but up until my chromebook updated to Version 100, the site lags like hell. (I use, and have used, the website since 2018 when I got the chromebook) More on this

Now I just browse Tumblr and Twitter, and I occasionally check up on Discord. And from what I’ve seen, F1 has no restraint from bullying the shit out of people but cant say or complain their issues directly to the person.

V1 is in a fandom that F1 and I mutually dislike, but I have no aggressive hatred for everyone who is ever in the fandom, because I used to be in the fandom. V1 has a character in the fandom that is their comfort character, I have no problem with this, but to F1, V1 is a nazi because of it.

V2 is someone in a server who has a high WPM (word per minute) and is a friend of F2. This has so far been sort of resolved, but I’ve seen how much attitude and obvious dislike F1 directs towards V2. I have no grudge against them either, but F1 drags me in whenever they decide to go and mass bully this one person. It’s a witch hunt I don’t want to be apart of.

You see, I dont usually hold grudges, especially if the person has done literally nothing wrong. But if F1 doesn’t like talking about V1 or V2 I wont ever bring it up.

However

P1, they are homophobic and transphobic and has said is outwardly. I’m pansexual, in a happy relationship, I’m also transgender, and they hate me for it. They have gone out of their way to say that they don’t like Pride Month because they “don’t get anything out of it” or “it’s not like christmas”. This is completely fucked up in my opinion. I’ve stopped talking to them, they’re stopped talking to me. 

P1 has become almost a trigger for me, memories of the shit they’ve said and stuff they’ve purposefully done to me to get me angry or crying surface whenever F1 brings them up or sends screenshots. 

I have told F1 the issues, I have asked them to at the least censor them, don’t send screenshots of P1 and theirs conversations. But do they listen? No, they don’t. 

I listen to their triggers, I respect their dislikes, etc. They don’t respect anything that triggers me though. For example; Bugs. I hate bugs, they make me nauseous. But they and their friend (F3) purposefully mentions or sends pictures of bugs to me, and I personally don’t understand it.

I have very very few triggers, but they purposefully fuck around with them. F1 has every single trigger you can ever list, and I don’t know where they come from. Sometimes I think they just put up with me for god knows why, they don’t like Polysexuals and are so obviously poly(phobic?) and just down right mean to them. 

Again; I have no issues with poly people, as long as all partners are comfortable in the relationship. But F1 says its all cheating, it’s just cheating with extra steps, it’s cheating cheating cheating. 

I’m getting tired of it, I’m getting tired of all of this.

And to add onto all of the stress of my moral clash, my ex ends up texting me bragging abt their boyfriend. And it hurts, we were so close and they tossed our relationship because they weren’t good enough for me.

I tried to get them to stay, I tried to tell them that they were good enough for me, that they were perfect. They still left, and for months it rolled around in my head, it still does.

I’ve considered coming out as aro/ace, to be completely honest I just don’t find any romantic or sexual attraction anymore. Not with anyone. I’m fine with being in a relationship, but in the way that the relationship is like this exceptional person that I like (but not heavily romantically or sexually). But I don’t know how to tell this to my S/O. 

I fear that this may destroy our relationship, and we’ve been together for so long (5-6 year relationship). 

I have a horrid fear of losing people that are close to me, that’s why it hurts so much for me to lose friends, or people that I was with. 

[corvidprompts]

I didn't forget. I saw you laughing about it. It's nice to know that people like you not only condone, but promote false reporting and bullying mentally ill people 😊 I'll never stop. Not until you fucking apologize to me for shit talking and leading me on like that. RaptorParty said you forgave me and I had hope. Then I saw what you said. You found it funny. I think you'll find it rewarding that I hurt myself. Of course you'll tell all your little friends and laugh about it. You enjoy my pain.

Hi! It’s nice to hear from you again! It’s not like you haven’t been spouting hate at me on your blog (which is gone now), sending me emails blaming me and insulting me, and occasionally messaging me on anon.

To: my followers, I’m so sorry I’m putting drama on your dash but i am so so tired of this. please ignore this i’m just trying to end it.

Okay. Here is the the thing. You cannot demand forgiveness and friendship from me. I forgave you for pressuring me into being online all the time. I forgave you for guilting me for having a life. I forgave you for lashing out. I understand that you have anxiety and that I was your friend, but you cannot treat me like all I am there to do is to carry your emotions.

Let me tell you this sincerely: I forgive you for hurting me. I’m sorry my leaving hurt you. I’m sorry I caused you pain. I’m honest to god, so fucking sick over the thought of you hurting yourself. You are a creative person and capable of so much, and I’m so sorry to contribute to your pain.

But you did hurt me. 

If I didn’t respond quickly enough, you would leave a message to make me feel guilt for not doing so. If I was offline for a day, everything you did or did not do, was on me. When I told you things, I was terrified you would bring them up again later to hurt me, or make me stay. I became afraid of seeing a message notification. You are not the only one with mental illness. I hurt myself over the things you said, but i never told you because i didn’t want to burden you. I made myself ill and made my headaches worse so i could notify you over an absence, but it wasn’t enough because I didn’t do it every time. it’s not fair. You did not treat me like a friend. We had good times, but that doesn’t excuse the bad. I’m sorry my leaving caused you pain. But I am not sorry for leaving.

A friendship doesn’t make your heart beat in your chest like an anxiety attack at the sight of a notification. A friendship does not involve blaming the other person, an entire country away, for not going to a firework show. A friendship does not involve one party neglecting xir family in order to be online and available. I’m sure i handled something wrong, that there could’ve been some way to make this better, and for that, I am sorry. I could’ve been better, but I did my very best.

I understand you have abandonment issues. I understand that completely. We talked about it. I offered to do my best, and asked for understanding that i am fallible, human, and that talking and being available is hard for me. You asked for everything I had to give and when that wasn’t enough, you asked for more.

But this isn’t about that.

This is about after. I said no more. I said I need space. You emailed me begging to come back and I am so sorry that I couldn’t, and that you were in pain, that you hurt yourself. I never meant to hurt you and i’m so sorry I did. I never wanted to cause you pain, that was why i tried so hard to carry it. When I didn’t respond to your email, you asked mutual friends to message me to ask me to come back, but I still wasn’t ready. I needed time. A month and a half later, message notifications still sent my heartbeat racing. I was terrified of disappointing people. I was working on helping myself. I blocked you on tumblr and in the discord chat, where i posted an extremely vague notice as to why you were blocked, and encouraged people to seek you out on tumblr or add you on discord as you wouldn’t be in the chat.

But, like before, when I couldn’t accommodate to your schedule, you became angry. I didn’t wish you a happy birthday and that was the breaking point i guess? I couldn’t forgive you, heal, and come back fast enough so I was free to slander and hate. you minimized your responsibility and maximized mine

you were salty because you were on your period so you sent me this? because i was on vacation (a fact you were aware of) and thus was offline for two days

i hate this. i hate bringing this up. i know you enjoyed talking with me, but treating an absence with this, not just this one time, but consistently, is not. okay.

But like I said. i forgive you for this.

I don’t forgive you for not allowing me my space. I don’t forgive you for posting hateful things on your blog with my name, publicly. You are the one who made this public. You couldn’t let me be so you tried to bring it into the spotlight. I confided in a friend about your behavior, and when they, unprompted, confronted you, you sent me more hateful emails, exaggerating their behavior, claiming they suicide baited you which they didn’t. They showed me screenshots. My guy, having anxiety and having abandonment issues isn’t an excuse to treat people like garbage. it isn’t an excuse for this

it isn’t an excuse to talk about someone like this, and then start a hate campaign

in case ur wondering, this is not an apology

this is a guilt trip. I know you were upset. I’m sorry I hurt you. but friendships don’t work because one person hollows themself out for the other

i don’t want anything from you my guy. I just want to be left alone. Let it go, if you had given me time, I would have come back. but this is too much. I’m done. Yes, when I see your messages i talk with people in server because you got them involved. Because I’m upset. Because I’m hurt. Sometimes I use humor to make it feel less sharp because this? This is not okay. I don’t know how you know anything about the server because you’re banned, but it’s private. I kept everything out of it for a long, long time. This is not okay. How can you think treating someone like this is how you earn forgiveness? 

Please. Move on. Leave me alone. Make new friends. You are a wonderful, creative person with a lot to give. You’ll do fine. You just need to treat people better. I’m sorry I hurt you. I forgive you. Leave me alone.

To anyone not involved that read this: sorry for putting this on your dash. I was hoping they’d get the hint and leave me alone. You can unfollow if you think i’m in the wrong, I understand. I just want this to be over

[unluckyxse7en-moving]

Ok, so the last 24 hours on my blog have been discourse heavy re: salify. 

Before I go any further I am going to say - do not send him anon hate. If you take legitimate issue with him don’t send it via anon. Especially because I discovered he’s accused me for sending people after him. I did not, because he was the one who hurt and crossed a bunch of people who did not deserve what he has done during this period of time. But even if you don’t believe me about that, that’s fine. My concern is people staying safe, and if that means staying uninvolved - on both sides of the issue - that’s more important.

Furthermore, anyone involved, besides Sam and myself, are going unnamed for their sake and protection. They can choose to reveal themselves if they wish but that is their judgment to make and not ours. 

Salify, aka Sam, is a 22 year old adult who runs a server that is going unnamed for the sake of protecting others still there. Said server was mostly comprised of minors under 18 who were brought in with the promise that the server was an inclusive safe space where people would be positive and uplifting and encouraging. We had many extensive rules dedicated to this aspect encouraging basic respect and decency, and discouraging topics or actions that would make people feel unsafe or upset them.

Sam himself, believing as owner he could do what he liked, broke his own rules and when people spoke up is when things got worse.

It all started off with the server’s tendency to tell jokes about cishets. Obviously, not a crime. sometimes many would get carried away and tell the jokes in every channel and the jokes could last for a good half hour in a conversation. Maybe a little obnoxious if you get tired of the same topic quickly, but not a crime or an issue.

Here’s where it started to become an issue. Fairly recently, a few of the members on the server, who will remain unnamed for safety, have mentioned and complained that the jokes made them feel uncomfortable when in excess. Very uncomfortable, and I imagine for some of them, unsafe. As there were no requirements of being not cishet in the server, surprise!! there were some who identified as cishet and others who just wanted to escape the type of discussion already abound on tumblr. I cannot and will not say where people fell but it is something to keep in mind - regarding a server mostly full of minors.

complaints were made, and the acting moderators at the time announced a new rule saying to ease up on the cishet jokes, people regardless of orientation and identity were feeling uncomfortable with them. 

Things quiet down and go back to normal. Then, last night, the jokes started up in full force again. And they went on a long time. In all fairness, they were in the channel dedicated to discourse. That said, given the server’s habits there was a high likelihood this meant the jokes were coming back and would be scattered throughout all the channels once more. Not to mention people who had become used to those jokes being moderated probably received an unwelcome shock if they wandered into the chat at that time.

One of the members, after the jokes wore out most everyone’s humor, spoke up. They requested that all the people involved drop the jokes, members have complained about this before and felt unsafe when it was done in excess like this. Most of the group backed off, but Sam, and others who were taking great joy in these jokes, refused. Their argument was that as people who were oppressed by cishets they could make jokes about their oppressors as much as they want.

On its own, that’s not a terrible argument. That is valid and understandable.

The problem is that when people say they feel unsafe or uncomfortable, and they are people who did no wrong to deserve this from the person, and the person telling the jokes refuses, that’s crossing a limit. 

Bashing hypothetical others who are not present does NOT take priority over those who ARE present, do not deserve the bashing and are stressed, not comfortable, hurt or terrified by this bashing.

So at this point, I intervened and asked they just ease up. They don’t have to stop telling the jokes forever, but even the funniest joke in the world gets unfunny when drawn out too long, it becomes obnoxious, and if people felt definitively unhappy then it was time to drop it. Rather than agreeing to back off even than just the night, Sam became more obstinate, and continued to push his argument, not changing anything but continuing to parrot that as someone oppressed he could do what he liked. Others who took his side gleefully joined in and jeered and mocked as the argument continued.

Initially, some of the people present attempted to drop the argument and change the subject. But they became quiet and stepped to the side as things got worse. While I am not going to rehash the argument step by step, Sam along with his support continued to screech about how oppressed they were and could therefore make all the jokes they wanted, while I and others tried to argue it was making people uncomfortable and that’s not worth it.

During this, Sam and his entourage 

accused us of claiming heterophobia (not a thing) and being cishet allies

tried to pass it off as acceptable by likening the situation to other oppressed minorities being allowed to make jokes about their oppressors, bringing race and neurodivergence and disabled people into it in doing so.

used the name of the Pulse Shooting as a get out of jail free card for his jokes (which is in bad taste and absolutely disrespects and tarnishes those who suffered from this tragedy as it is being misused as an excuse to exhibit unacceptable behavior)

openly stated that he was on a voice call and laughing at those of us who disagreed with him (more of a personal attack but absolutely unnecessary in any rational argument as it only serves to mock and belittle the other side and has no functional purpose)

when I referenced the point that neurodivergent people in our own server were the ones at stake here, being unnerved and feeling unsafe by all of this, Sam continued to ignore it and insist it was his right to tell these jokes as he liked.

after I asked this, someone else asked if Sam even cared about those of us in the server, to which Sam freely admitted he didn’t care at all. While we didn’t need his statement as actions speak louder than words, it was nice to know he owned up to it and thought he was justified in doing so.

By this point, I and others on my side of the argument were thoroughly disillusioned and disgusted by our server leader. I had left the servers I shared with Sam and unfriended him around this point. Sam told us off and said if we didn’t like it we could go make our own. In the heat of the moment, I said fine, we will, and right then he abruptly booted me from the server. Supposedly he proceeded to forcibly kick others involved but I was the first to go. I’ll admit I had considered leaving the server, but I had no intention of doing so when I had thought perhaps if both parties cooled their heads and came back, we could either apologize or discuss more rationally. Likewise while I had unfriended him, I had not blocked him on discord because I had hoped we could talk it out better later. Sam banning me made it clear he didn’t want to do that.

regrettably, I have no screenshots - the chat went much too fast for everyone involved and being kicked as quickly as I was there was no time. None of the others do either to my knowledge. According to those who remained longer in the server, Sam deleted the entire chat, most likely to hide his mistakes because, in all honesty - why would you delete so much evidence against people who were wrong when you could have converted it into a shrine of receipts? Given Sam’s following pettiness on the matter he clearly would have kept it and gloated. That said, if Sam or the others have any undoctored screenshots then I encourage him to add them to the discourse - I can’t imagine they’d actually look that bad compared to what he has said and done then and since.

So that was the blowup. Many people left the server if they hadn’t been kicked, and in the wake Sam has gone to town with the absence of the ‘bad people’. 

Here are some highlights of Sam clearly showing no regret at the time despite what any later blog posts may suggest. And while this post sounds good on paper, if you put it in the context of “made right after disrespecting people’s deaths so that he could force people to shut up and let them upset minors to their liking” then it sounds a little less than golden.

So there it is. Take this information as you will, but this is basically why I am officially embroiled in discourse and anti-Sam/salify.