#my dad is home but FUCK

[fanaticalthings]

Jason:

Also Jason:

when you're worried about your dad but you also have a reputation

Masterlist

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 333

I once more believe Battinson Batman needs to be given a child. Or multiple. Multiple children. I am also once more rotating Ghosts Have Wings Au. 

So Batman, still early in his whole vigilante career ends up busting a shipment, nothing too surprising there. Pretty usual honestly. Except for what was in one of the crates already open. Because it looks like some sort of gemstones but… perfectly spherical. Strange. Suspicious. 

But it’s also late, er, early in the morning, and the GCPD is notoriously corrupt, so like, he’s not going to just leave the weird gemstones, each about the size of a plum or so. (Dear Gotham he’s apparently hungry, and might inwardly vow to never let anyone realize what his tired mind decided to use as measurement) 

So he, unknowingly spurred on by more than just a slight bit of ecto contamination, takes the strange spheres back home. Just puts them in his pockets and heads back to the manor that they moved back into after the whole Riddler mess. (He even found a cool cave! With a bunch of terrifying bats, but they made a glass separator! For safety!) 

But in Bruce’s defense of forgetting about them, he’s more than a little tired and hungry and just wants to sleep for a bit, y’know? So maybe he forgets about the gems as he falls asleep in the chair in the cave (Alfred was not pleased!) until he starts digging around for them. Erm. Did they fall out somewhere?? There’s no holes in his belt pockets… 

And maybe these sort of things shouldn’t slip his mind, the spheres had felt Weird with a capital W, but he gets forced to a circus and there’s an… accident. So maybe he pushed it away as not important because there’s now an angry grieving eight-year old living with him and he’s panickedly reading any and all sort of parenting books he can get a hold of because he has no clue what he’s doing. 

Yeah, maybe his back is itching like crazy no matter what he tries, and maybe he threw up the other day, but it’s fine. This is fine. 

….

Oh dear Gotham those are feathers, this is not fine- ALFREEED!

[shima-draws]

Catching up on more recent FT stuff and um

EDO LUCY HAS A KID?

EDO LUCY AND EDO NATSU ARE MARRIED??? AND HAVE A DAUGHTER?? NALU CANON???

Also oh my FUCKING god look at him. He’s such a proud dad I’m going to throw up I love him so much

And the fact that Natsu gets attached to her IMMEDIATELY and goes into overprotective Dad Mode when she’s not even his daughter, technically (and Gray too over his own Edo kid 🤧)

Natsu: I’ve decided I’m taking her home with me. No objections

HOMIE DEADASS IS SIGNING THE ADOPTION PAPERS ALREADY. It was love at first sight. Natsu loves her so much he wants to kidnap her. Shut UP,

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

so five and lila being a thing is going right next to allison literally sexually assaulting luther in the box of things we are absolutely under no circumstances accepting as part of canon right

[royaltea000]

they should scissor

[captainkirkk]

Everytime Batman and Red Hood see each other they end up shouting across the streets of Gotham emotional shit like JUST COME HOME SON and YOU'RE NOT IN CHARGE OF ME ANYMORE OLD MAN and it's just Not Subtle in the slightest

No one knows that Jason is an ex Robin so everyone comes to the very logical conclusion that the Red Hood is Batman's rebellious blood son that ran away from home to pursue a life of crime and they're not even fucking wrong

[finnitesimal]

CHAYANNE PISSA CAPTAIN NUMERO UNO 💯💯🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡

[bicheetopuff]

This is a stupid question but if Katsuki stepped on a landmine or something, would he blow up? Or is he just overall explosion proof to an extent?

Like I know he accidentally blew up his cheek a little bit cuz of a really big explosion a little too close to his face and I know an explosion blew up his heart and all that but I’m asking like is his skin basically explosion proof to smaller explosions? Like would a real grenade even phase him?

[mangoshorthand]

I got the Commission Handbook early

Hello all. I have awoken from my slumber to tell you that, luckily for me, my bookseller fucked up and dispatched my pre-order of the new Commision Handbook before the release date.

It's a Five Hargreeves treasure trove. It has notes from 'the founder' scattered throughout in which our boy muses on his mission, his impending death, and the futility of his life's work.

It includes dossiers on each Umbrella and Sparrow, which has details of what each member does in alternate timelines without Reggie's interference.

I am here to inform you that, in most timelines, Five is a stay-at-home Dad in Dublin.

[anghraine]

You'd think the worst part of being immunocompromised would be catching All The Things, but honestly, the actual worst part is not being able to visit very sick loved ones because they're afraid of you catching the sickness :(

[ryan-sometimes]

Y’all so I’m Brazilian but I moved to the US aged 18 without my family for college. My parents are still in Brazil. I’m also a big reader, and one thing that made me upset when I moved to the US was how expensive books in Portuguese are here. They can cost 5x what I would pay in Brazil!

I complained to my parents that I really wanted to read a specific book by a Brazilian writer called Machado de Assis, but it was super expensive here in the United States. Today I get this text from my mom:

Translation: daughter, your father bought you this

It’s a box set. Of pretty much EVERY BOOK by Machado de Assis. What?????

[manitapaleta]

listen,….. we don’t know y hermie didn’t grow up with his dads but i already know its going to DEVASTATE ME when anthony tells us bc i know they would have loved the little joker, our sweet little thespian (also big brother nick hellooooooo)

[placetovent306]

One of the biggest pros of having older parents no one talks about:

They will die faster

[updatingranboo]

ranboo insta story 😨

[fauvester]

old man snoring noises

[elsannej]

VENOM WAR #1 Spoilers

Eddie: WDYM YOU LOST MY OTHER?! HE/YOU HAD ONE JOB!!!

Dylan: DAD I'M HOMELESS + LITERALLY DIED, CAN YOU GIVE A DAMN FR!!!?

Bren and Normie in the bg:

Sleeper: