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sansaorgana · 2 months ago

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— MOTHER'S LOVE

PAIRING — Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x fem!Reader

SUMMARY — After arriving on Giedi Prime to marry Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen, you find out the secret his family was hiding from you – he has a daughter. You quickly realise he has no idea about fatherhood but you step up to take care of the little girl.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — OH MY GOOOOD Anyone still remember me and my fics?! 🤣 This one is a bit different because it includes Feyd as a single dad lmao However, it's not super fluffy either. They're Harkonnens, after all, and the Reader is not exactly a good person either. 🙈 I googled some canon info on Dune Wiki but I didn't follow the events 1:1 (as usual).

WARNINGS — arranged marriage, Feyd's traumatic past mentioned, Feyd being a kinda neglecting father (he cares in his own way and don't worry, there is no actual abuse), Lady Margot is 💀 and it was no accident, Reader is power hungry and greedy (and she adapts to the Harkonnens quickly)

WORD COUNT — 7, 290

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

MOTHER'S LOVE

You didn’t have many expectations before arriving on Giedi Prime. You knew that your husband-to-be was a brutal man but you were old enough to be aware of the fact that most men were this way. You were quite excited in a way because you knew what your union would bring and what your union would eventually make you – an Empress.

Your father had been a close friend of the Emperor and he had been helping him to prevent the war with the Harkonnens who were holding too much power and resources for their own good. However, after a few incidents in which the Emperor had chosen not to show your father proper respect – your father had drastically changed the side of the conflict. He was a wealthy and powerful man as well and connecting your family with the Harkonnens was granting them to win the upcoming war with the Imperial forces quite easily. It was a matter of time when it would happen.

You were supposed to marry Baron Harkonnen’s nephew and heir, which would make you an Empress one day. It was a vicious union; born out of greed for power instead of any love or affection. In fact, you hadn’t even met Feyd-Rautha personally but you had heard rumours about him.

As it had been mentioned – you knew he was brutal. But you also knew all men were. Your own father had turned his back on the Emperor so suddenly and treacherously, after centuries of the families working together. Had it not been brutal as well? Brutality came in many different shapes and forms.

Your father’s wealth and army were helpful but not significant enough for him to dictate any conditions. For his help, the Harkonnens had offered only one important thing – you becoming the future Empress. However, all the glory would be theirs and your father would remain nothing but a close friend, expanding his wealth freely. You often wondered how much the Emperor must have had disrespected your father for him to choose the Harkonnens to be his new overlords. However, you did not complain.

You wanted to be the Empress.

But in order to become her, you had to survive the Harkonnens and Giedi Prime first.

You were greeted with all the honours on this unfriendly, deathly planet. However, your husband was not a part of the greeting committee. Neither was his uncle, whose health was decreasing lately. Many suspected he would die soon, which would make you a Baroness much quicker than expected, however you were not sure about your future husband’s approach towards your union. If he wasn’t so keen on marrying you, he could change his mind the moment he no longer had to listen to his uncle. That was why you hoped to get married before Baron Harkonnen would die – to secure your position on Giedi Prime as Feyd-Rautha’s lawful wife.

People who greeted you on Giedi Prime were mostly servants of different ranks. You could distinguish them by robes but they all looked very similar if not identical. They were sickly pale, some of them had pitch-black eyes and they were all bald. The servants of the lowest rank looked like clones and you suspected that was what they truly were indeed. They had their necks marked with tattoos indicating their low status.

Servants of higher ranks looked more proper – their clothes were nice, their facial features were more natural and they actually talked to you, meanwhile the low rank servants remained silent and avoided your gaze.

You were taken to your new chambers inside the huge and black fortress in the heart of the planet. You were given a whole wing and a huge bedroom that had not been occupied in decades – ever since Baron Harkonnen’s mother had died.

“Won’t I be quite lonely here?” You asked a male servant who was showing you around. You didn’t like him already because something about his creepy smile and observing eyes was sending shivers down your spine.

“What do you mean, my Lady?” He tilted his bald head slightly and blinked a few times as if he was a robot experiencing a glitch in his system.

“The whole wing of the fortress is all for me?”

“Well, you have guards and servants here, my Lady,” he pointed out.

“They are not… equal companions, are they?” You explained, trying not to sound too cruel. But servants on Giedi Prime probably found your statement to be extremely gentle. They were used to much worse treatment from their masters.

“You are not the only inhabitant of this part of the fortress, my Lady,” the man told you, a little nervously.

You furrowed your brows.

“Care to explain?” You tried to hide your insecurity by looking around the room and pretending to admire the black furniture.

“Countess Marie has her room nearby,” the servant explained and you smiled slightly when you found out there was, after all, some female Harkonnen around who would perhaps be a friend to you.

Your first thought was that she was Count Rabban’s wife – your future husband’s sister-in-law.

“Oh! There is some countess?” You asked, excitedly. “How old is she?”

“She…” the servant took a deep breath in. “She is six, my Lady.”

“Six?” You asked, your smile dropping as your heart froze inside your chest. “She’s… She’s a child?”

Many awful things you had heard of the Harkonnens but child-brides had never been any part of those stories.

The servant must have immediately realised what you were thinking.

“Oh! No, no, my Lady, she is not a wife…!” He assured you. “She is… Family,” he explained, mysteriously. “Either way, I shall leave you now to rest after long and exhausting travel. I will send a maid for you later to bring you dinner and keep you company, my Lady,” the servant nodded and left the room as the rest of the servants left behind him. The guards stayed behind the heavy doors to make sure you were safe… and to make sure you were no danger either.

You took a deep breath in as you looked around. Everything seemed to be so big and scary on this planet but you promised yourself that you would survive and adapt to it and you didn’t plan on changing that.

After dinner, when your maid left you to sleep, you sneaked out of the bedroom to walk around a little and to explore more of the fortress. You promised the confused guards you’d be back soon enough but you also asked them to search for you if you wouldn’t come back in a long time since there was a big chance of you getting lost. They agreed to it and you walked away, very proud of yourself.

As you were walking down the dark and empty corridor, after a short while you felt somebody’s presence around you. A pair of eyes following you around, which made you swallow thickly. Your heart pounded fast but as you looked behind you, no one seemed to be there. You thought it was your brain playing tricks on you in this unfriendly environment and you tried to remember that the Harkonnens were your new family and they would not hurt you.

Gathering the courage again, you calmed down and continued your walk when – suddenly and out of the darkness – you heard a giggle.

A childish, girly giggle with a hint of malice despite its innocent sound. You froze, widened your eyes and looked around.

“I’ve imagined you differently,” a girly voice announced and when your ears found the source of it, you turned around to face it.

The girl turned on the orb of light she was holding. But it was not in front of you – it was behind you. You turned around once more and she chuckled, visibly proud of herself for playing tricks on you.

She had to be Countess Marie the servant had mentioned earlier – she was around six years old and she surely had Harkonnen blood in her. Her eyes were bright blue and her skin was snow-white. However, she was not bald – she had long and blond hair, which was braided. Her clothes were black and she had a small dagger attached to her hip.

“Countess Marie, I assume,” you extended your hand towards her in a friendly manner. “I am (Y/N) of the House (Y/L/N),” you introduced yourself.

“I know who you are,” Marie shrugged her arms and allowed the orb of light to float around her freely now as she took the dagger out and began to play with it.

It made you feel uneasy as you retreated your hand which she hadn’t shaken. She wouldn’t actually hurt you, would she?

“O-oh, yeah?” You asked. “Well, that’s nice… You see, I had no idea about you until a few hours ago,” you cracked a smile.

“I’m not significant. I’m a bastard,” the girl shrugged her arms again. “And I promised not to bother you but I was curious,” she admitted.

“Promised not to bother me?” You were surprised. “Honey, who did you promise such a thing and why?”

Honey, you had called her – despite her demeanour, she was still a little girl and it was difficult to see her as anything else.

She didn’t seem to mind, though. In fact, she ignored that.

“I promised my daddy and grandpa not to bother you,” she explained.

“Oh, I see,” you nodded, assuming that she treated the Baron as her grandfather. “Are you Count Rabban’s daughter?” You decided to ask more openly now.

She widened her eyes at your question.

“No-o,” she shook her head and hid her dagger. “I’m a Harkonnen,” she told you, proudly.

You began to understand the situation and you couldn’t help but grow angry – how could they hide this fact from you?!

“Well, darling, either way, it is late already and you should be in bed,” you extended your hand towards her again but she took a step back. You retreated your hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s simply not a good time for little girls to be outside their bedrooms.”

“Daddy says I can go to bed at any time I want as long as I am up early for my training,” she explained and then she looked down. “Or… Are you changing the rules now?”

“I am not changing any rules between you and your daddy, it is not my right to do so,” you explained, softly. “However, I would sleep better knowing that you are safe in your bed,” you said.

“What do you care?” Countess Marie asked.

“How could I not, angel? Come on, let’s go to bed,” you nodded your head and she eventually agreed although she also rolled her eyes.

She showed you where her chambers were and you watched her walk past her guards and back into her room. After that, you went back to your bedroom as well but you couldn’t sleep at night.

How could they hide from you that your husband had a daughter?

You demanded to see your husband-to-be after breakfast, although you were advised against by many servants. Mornings were for Feyd-Rautha’s combat training and he should not be interrupted.

However, you could not wait for the meeting. You demanded to be taken to him and the guards had to follow your command although you could see they were not happy about it.

You rushed behind them through the corridors full of servants and Harkonnen noblemen that were turning their heads to take a better look at you. They were curious about you because you were a foreigner, a daughter of the infamous and treacherous Lord but you also stood out with your normal looks that seemed to be exotic on Giedi Prime.

When you arrived at the training grounds, you crossed the nearly magical border between the interior and exterior. Now, you were exposed to the radioactive sunlight, which caused the world around you to be black and white. You knew that the fortress was shielded from the deathly amount of radiation but it was not making anything outside colourful.

The very first sound that greeted you was an animalistic roar coming out of a warrior’s throat. He was standing in the middle of the courtyard with a dagger in his hand as a muscular slave-warrior in front of him kneeled down and fell over after his own throat had been sliced open. The victorious warrior raised his hand to show off the bloody knife and a smaller, clean knife raised behind him. You squinted your eyes and spotted Countess Marie cheering and mimicking the man in the middle.

“That is Feyd-Rautha, my Lady,” the servant whispered to you.

Your heart skipped a beat. Your future husband looked terrifying, especially in black-and-white. His eyes were snake-like, his head was bald and his body was very muscular yet flexible. He spotted you and after a while of hesitation, he walked towards you quite angrily, which caused all the servants to take a few steps back but you stayed in your position, refusing to show fear so openly.

The closer he was, the more handsome you were realising he seemed to be. It was nearly unnatural for a Harkonnen to be so attractive but here he stood – right in front of you. Young, healthy, strong and attractive in a mysterious and fascinating way. He was a perfect warrior – of that you were sure.

But would he be a perfect Emperor?

“Why are you interrupting my training?” He asked. His voice surprised you – it sounded very deep and unsettling.

“I couldn’t wait to meet you,” you answered.

“You are interrupting my training,” he pointed out.

“Surely, you can take a little break to meet your future wife?” You cracked a smile.

Feyd-Rautha seemed to be confused. Finally, his little girl emerged from behind him with a big grin on her face.

“Daddy, don’t be so grim! Lady (Y/N) is nice!” She announced and you breathed out of relief. For some reason, this little menace seemed to like you already.

“Oh, yeah?” Feyd-Rautha tilted his head at you and smirked. “Well, nice little things don’t last long on Giedi Prime, haven’t I told you?”

“Your daughter seems to be doing well, na-baron,” you dared to say and he squinted his eyes.

“I don’t raise her to be nice. And you should not bother with her at all anyway,” he explained and sighed a little. “Nevermind, you have interrupted my training already. Let’s go and talk somewhere,” he pointed at the doors leading back inside the fortress.

“Can I go with you?” Countess Marie asked.

“No,” Feyd-Rautha told her. “You go back to your room and attend your classes.”

“But–”

Feyd didn’t bother to listen to that, though. He walked past his daughter.

“How about you coming to my chambers after your classes and we’ll get to know each other better then?” You asked the girl with a smile.

“I can’t visit other people alone in their chambers except for my daddy,” she widened her eyes. “He doesn’t allow that. It’s dangerous,” she added and you furrowed your brows.

He seemed not to care much about this little girl but then, when it came to certain aspects, he was nearly overprotective.

“I will talk to him and if he still doesn’t allow it, we’ll invite some servants as well, how about that?” You asked her and she nodded with a smile.

You reached out to caress her face but she flinched, so you took a step back again.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“It’s fine but he doesn’t allow strangers to touch me,” she explained. “Unless they’re servants who help me change clothes and all that – unless it’s necessary, you see.”

“I see,” you nodded. “Well, see you later, Marie.”

“See you later, Lady (Y/N).”

After that, you hurried back inside the fortress to enter it through the same doors your husband-to-be had entered a few moments earlier. In fact, they were still open because Feyd was holding them for you with an annoyed expression.

“Sorry,” you smiled awkwardly at him when you finally were both inside the fortress. Here, where colours were visible, he didn’t seem to gain much more colours himself. His skin seemed to be a bit less white and his eyes were the same shade as Marie’s but that was it. He was still mostly black-and-white.

“You don’t have to befriend her,” Feyd-Rautha announced. “She is a bastard,” he explained. “If we don’t produce any heirs, she might become my na-baroness but I don’t think this will happen. Noblemen here wouldn’t accept a female leader anyway,” he shrugged his arms.

“How can you say that?” You asked him. “Let me be clear, I do not know much of you or your history but I do not accept the way you treat your daughter or me. Why is she not significant? Why was her existence hidden from me? Are women only objects here? Pawns? I am aware we hold less power on Giedi Prime but I was not told that women have no rights here,” you crossed your arms.

“Do not be daft,” Feyd-Rautha rolled his eyes and leaned on the black marble pillar inside the hall. “After my seventeenth birthday a Bene Gesserit witch used me to manipulate the bloodlines. It is an accident I barely remember,” Feyd-Rautha said. “I don’t like being out of control and at that moment I had none. She became pregnant with my child and wanted to raise Marie as another Bene Gesserit witch. Some sisters of that order are more loyal to the Harkonnens than their convent – that’s how I found out about my daughter. I killed her mother and her husband. I wanted to kill the girl, too, but I took her in to raise her as a warrior instead. After all, she’s my blood,” he shrugged his arms.

Both him and Marie tended to shrug their arms a lot – showing off how little they cared about literally everything. It was quite… adorable.

“You changed your mind because she is your child,” you pointed out, pretending not to be moved by the story. In fact, it terrified you that he admitted so openly to murder the mother of his child, although you were aware of the rumour that he had killed his own mother.

It would be very easy for him to kill you off, too, eventually…

“She is,” Feyd-Rautha nodded. “Us, Harkonnens, we have different ways of raising children than you, that’s it.”

“I don’t want to interfere or change your ways,” you explained. “But I refuse to pretend she doesn’t exist. As you said, she is a bastard and a girl, therefore she is no threat to me or any children I will bear,” you announced and he raised his eyebrows as if he was a little surprised and impressed.

As usual – he shrugged his arms.

“Can I spend time with her alone? Can I touch her?” You asked, more carefully now. “I feel like this child is not being hugged enough.”

“Harkonnens don’t hug,” Feyd growled.

“I just don’t understand why–”

“You can,” he interrupted you. “As my future wife, you can but the rule exists for a reason. It is to protect her and I don’t want you to extend the exception to other people as well.”

“Protect her from what?” You asked, furrowing your brows.

“My uncle,” he answered and a long silence occurred.

“I see…” You took a deep breath in. “I… Well, it was nice to meet you, finally,” you admitted. “I must go now, the wedding takes place in a week from now and I have lots of preparations.”

“Don’t lock your bedroom doors in the evening,” he whispered and you raised your eyebrow at him. “I’ll claim you tonight,” he said casually.

“E-excuse me?” You asked.

“You heard me well, pet,” he smirked.

“The wedding takes place in a–”

“The fuck do I care about the wedding? You’re mine now,” Feyd shrugged his arms and walked away, leaving you scared and confused.

What if he claims you and then throws you away, accusing you of being spoiled and unfit for marriage? That would be a disaster.

Marie came to your chambers in the afternoon and you watched her go through your things with a smile on your lips. Perhaps it was a little rude of her to be so nosy but you were simply glad there was at least one ally in this fortress that you had. And, for some reason, despite her odd nature, you found her rather amusing and adorable.

“I’m glad your father allowed us to spend time together,” you said.

“Yes, it is now only you and him I am allowed to be alone with,” she pointed out. “It’s as if you were my mummy,” she said and your smile dropped when you remembered what he did to hers.

Did she know about it?

“My mother’s dead, you know?” She asked. “She was a bad person and daddy had to kill her.”

“I… I know,” you admitted. “Don’t you miss her?”

“I don’t remember her,” Marie shrugged her arms. “And she was a bad person. Bad people shouldn’t live,” she explained.

“Who defines bad, Marie?” You asked, curiously. After all, it was an odd thing to hear such a thing coming from a Harkonnen.

“Daddy does,” she nearly rolled her eyes, as if you were asking silly questions. “What is that?” She pointed at a white veil you had brought with yourself from your homeplanet.

“It’s for the wedding,” you explained.

“They’re going to laugh at you,” Marie chuckled. “Brides don’t wear such things here.”

“Oh? And what do they wear?” You asked.

“Different types of veils but not this… Whatever that is. And the colour is awful as well,” she pointed out.

“It’s lace, Marie. And it’s white,” you explained, patiently.

“White is a colour for servants,” she said and threw the veil away as you realised that, in fact, most white clothes you had seen on Giedi Prime were on the backs of servants.

“I don’t want people to laugh at me,” you admitted. “Will you help me?”

“Sure, I can. You’re going to be an Empress one day, you can’t look ridiculous!” Marie exclaimed and you chuckled. “What? You think I’m funny?” She asked.

“No, darling, I think you’re quite adorable,” you admitted and opened your arms.

She hesitantly approached you and you hugged her but she remained stiff as if she didn’t know what was happening. Perhaps Feyd was right and the Harkonnens didn’t hug.

“Why are you calling me these things?” She asked and you furrowed your brows. “Honey, darling, angel… I don’t understand,” Marie said.

“That’s how we address children where I am from,” you explained. “They’re nice things to say.”

“But I am not nice,” Marie protested and winced a little.

“Yes, you are, darling,” you assured her. “You’re a very nice little girl. A strong warrior, too, I am sure. But these two don’t have to contradict each other.”

“I would have to ask daddy about that,” Marie sighed and went back to looking through your things.

You watched her with a smile although there was a sense of dread rising with each given moment as well since you could feel the time passing and inevitably bringing you closer to the nighttime.

Feyd-Rautha was incredibly precise. In fact, a week later, on the day of your wedding ceremony, you were already carrying his son – the unnaturally advanced Harkonnen technology was able to confirm that on the night before.

You were both shocked and impressed by that and also by the fact Feyd was announcing that to everyone already during the wedding ceremonies and all those noble Harkonnens were cheering proudly instead of accusing you of infamy and adultery.

You wore red for that day – and so did little Marie. You were holding her hand by the wedding table and she was telling you funny facts about the scary Harkonnen noblemen surrounding you, which made you feel less intimidated by them. It was obvious to everyone that she had grown attached to you very quickly and everyone wondered why but you didn’t need to be a genius to know. You were coming from a planet where children were being treated well, like children instead of small adults being trained, and you knew they needed attention and affection to feel safe and loved. You were giving Marie all the things no one had ever been giving to her.

Whatever Feyd was thinking of that you had no idea. He was mostly excited about his son and heir you were pregnant with. As a husband he was treating you in a similar way he treated his daughter – he was rather indifferent but showed that he cared at times.

Oddly, you weren’t scared of him – you could sense that he was treating you like a business partner in a sense. After all, the two of you would rule the whole empire together one day. You had to work it out somehow.

During your wedding party, he left you for a while for a meeting with his uncle and a strange Bene Gesserit woman that came from an outer world. You thought she was a usual wedding guest but apparently she also visited to deal with some business here and you tried to hide the fact that it annoyed you how you were left out of this meeting.

“What do you think this might be about?” You asked Marie.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged her arms. “I’m technically a Bene Gesserit, too, you know?”

“But you’re not being trained, are you?”

“No, daddy doesn’t allow that. They’re bad people,” she shrugged her arms. “Can we eat more cake?”

“Absolutely!” You smiled widely.

Two weeks later you were in Marie’s chambers, reading history books to her. Bored in the fortress and not being given any real duties because of your blessed state, you replaced half of Marie’s tutors and you were teaching her yourself whatever you were able to.

She seemed to be quite distracted on that day, though. She was lazily playing with her dagger and looking out of the window as you were reading to her about other planets.

“How do colours look like outside Giedi Prime?” She asked suddenly. “I mean, outside. If I were on a different planet,” she explained.

“You don’t remember?” You asked and put the book down. Marie shook her head. “Well, it’s very colourful. Depends on a planet, of course, some are mostly green, some mostly yellow, some mostly blue. Some have lots of forests, some have lots of water and some have lots of sand.”

“Why?”

“It depends on temperatures and minerals that can be found on those planets. When our ancestors were colonising the universe, they were shaping the planets to inhabit them but there were limits within each of them. For example, you cannot make Giedi Prime look like Arrakis because of how different their suns are,” you explained. “Why are you asking, darling? Would you like to go and see a different planet? I might convince your daddy to let us leave to my homeplanet after the baby is born. Would you like to go with me?”

Marie shrugged her arms and looked away again.

“Will my brother look more like you or my daddy?” She asked.

“I certainly hope he will be a mix of both. Like you are a mix, are you not, honey? You have beautiful hair,” you smiled at her and caressed the blonde braid.

“I hope he has hair, too,” Marie smiled but her eyes remained sad. “Do you think he would like me?”

“Would? I’m sure he will adore you, Marie!” You caressed her cheek and her lower lip trembled. “What is it?”

“They haven’t told you,” she sniffled and you shook your head, feeling your heart sink deeper into your chest. “That Bene Gesserit lady who came when you married my daddy… She was here for me. They will take me soon with them and train me at their convent.”

“But you said your daddy didn’t want that,” you gasped.

“Well, now he has you and the baby,” she shrugged her arms but it was obvious that she cared.

She cared very much.

“Marie, I won’t let them take you away,” you cupped her face and looked deep into her bright eyes, so identical to her father’s. Yet so different – they weren’t so cold and empty like his.

Now, they were scared.

“How?” She asked, sadly. “You have no real power here,” she reminded you and it felt like a slap that even a child could see the truth about your position.

Usually, you were only seeing Feyd in the evenings inside the chambers you were now sharing with him as his wife. He hadn’t particularly asked for it but you had just moved in there and he hadn’t said anything negative about it.

You were sitting up in your bed when he entered and took a look at you before starting to take off his gear.

“How’s my son?” He asked.

“Is that all you care about?” You asked, angrily. Your unusual answer surprised him, so he turned his head around with furrowed brows.

“What else should I care about?” He inquired.

“You have a daughter as well,” you reminded him and he sighed, looking away again and going back to undressing himself. “I know the way she was conceived was far from ideal but it is not her fault.”

“I have told you not to bother yourself with her,” he mumbled out.

“What?!” You jumped out of the bed and crossed your arms. “If the child I’m carrying was a girl, would you treat her the same?”

“It would be different,” Feyd rolled his eyes. “I didn’t want Marie to spend time with you because my uncle said she could ruin our union. Apparently, he wasn’t wrong but in the opposite way. She’s not ruining our union because you hate her. She’s ruining it because you started to think you’re her mother,” Feyd growled angrily. “But she has no mother.”

“Because you killed her!” You were growing frustrated with his logic. “And now you’re sending her away! You said you hated Bene Gesserit witches! You told Marie that they were bad people and now you’re sending her away to them!”

“Has she told you?” Feyd was annoyed by that as he stepped out of his gear, wearing nothing but his underwear now. He never bothered with wearing pyjamas to bed, so he just passed you by and laid on the bed with a relaxed sigh, as if you were not in the middle of an argument.

The funny fact about him was that he couldn’t really argue – he wasn’t used to people disagreeing with him. Not people who were of lower status than him at least. And, as his wife, you unfortunately had a lower status because you were a woman.

“I don’t want Marie to go. She has to stay,” you stood above him with your arms still crossed.

“I am her father, the decision is mine. I didn’t want to send her there but they came here, they explained they needed her. She’s a part of their program. If we don’t listen to them, Bene Gesserit might turn their backs on us and we need their support if we’re going to take over the imperial throne,” Feyd explained and reached his hand out to touch your belly a little. “The medic said you shouldn’t get too emotional in your state, so calm down.”

But him telling you to calm down had an opposite effect, obviously.

“She’s not a part of a program!” You slapped his hand away, watching his eyes darken with anger. “She’s a child, Feyd! And fuck those Bene Gesserit witches! Fuck them, we don’t need them!”

“We need a religious institution to control the masses,” Feyd’s jaw clenched.

“Then we’ll create our own religion to replace theirs. We’ll turn people against them. I don’t want to be an Empress of an Empire I don’t have full control of. The Bene Gesserit are too dangerous and too independent.”

“Not if Marie becomes their Reverend Mother one day,” Feyd smirked.

Oh, so they already had a plan. The Baron must have come up with it. Men loved to plan out women’s whole lives like that.

“If I was her, I wouldn’t help us even a bit. I would hate us for sending me away,” you spat out, angrily.

“Such a vengeful little thing, just like your father, hm? Treacherous little snake, you would turn your back on everyone just for the sake of it,” Feyd moved up and now his face was so close to yours that your noses were nearly brushing each other.

“And you’re any different?” You asked but you answered before he could. “Yes, you are. You are different because I could never be so indifferent towards my own child. She loves you, how can you not see that? She calls you daddy, she mimics you, she wants to be like you. She trains with you, she cheers when you’re in the arena, she’s so proud of you. She believes every single fucking thing you say to her and some of those are malicious lies. Do you even realise how lucky you are to have her in your life?” You asked and kept looking at him with anger.

Feyd went silent, though, and you could see his facial features softened a little.

“It is not something I’ve been trained for,” he admitted.

“What?”

“Being a father,” he admitted. “I’ve been trained to kill and endure pain. To rule and obey my uncle. That is all I know. I always assumed that my future wife would raise my children. I don’t know how to do that.”

And in that moment you pitied him but you knew he would hate your pity, so you tried not to show it.

“I know,” you reached out to cup his face and he flinched just like Marie had flinched in the beginning. However, he allowed you to touch him and you cracked a smile while caressing his cheeks softly. “I know, darling, but I am here now and I can be a mother to her. I want to be a mother to her. If you send her away now, I will never forgive you. And neither will she,” you whispered.

“Some things I cannot control. They demand her to go with them,” he swallowed thickly, looking up at you with mesmerised eyes. You enjoyed that feeling.

“They demand? They demand you? You’re Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen. You can tell them to go fuck themselves. If you don’t, that will mean that you won’t be able to protect our children either. I thought I married a strong man who would lead a whole universe one day. A ruthless leader, no compromise,” you caressed his cheeks some more, knowing perfectly well that you were manipulating him in the process.

“You’re different than I’ve expected,” Feyd confessed, his lips now brushing yours in a way that was making you feel tingly.

“I’ve heard that before,” you smiled and leaned in to finally close the gap between you two with a passionate kiss. You hoped he would listen to you.

Only time would tell.

You were with Marie in the courtyard when you saw the mysterious ship arrive and land nearby the fortress. You recognised it immediately – it belonged to the Bene Gesserit order.

Marie looked up at you with big, scared eyes. She could be a bold little girl with a dagger attached to her hip but in times like this she was just a terrified and lonely little baby. You didn’t want her to feel this way. Not now and not ever.

“I won’t let them take you,” you mouthed out but she looked down, unsurely.

You held her hand and squeezed it tightly to walk her back inside and go to her room but on your way you were stopped by a servant telling you that Countess Marie was expected in the great hall where Baron Harkonnen resided.

You nodded at the servant and changed your route to go to the place where they were expecting Marie. However, you wouldn’t leave her alone there. No, you would go with her and try to defend her as much as you could.

The room was huge, dark and nearly empty. The Baron was floating above everyone maliciously, connected to all sorts of machines and devices that were increasing in size with each given day. Speaking of his days – they were surely counted. Both you and Feyd couldn’t wait for the one when he would simply die.

Feyd was there as well, with his hands crossed behind his back. He looked nervous when you and Marie arrived as some old Bene Gesserit woman was standing there and staring at the little girl.

“There she is, Marie Fenring, Margot’s daughter,” the Bene Gesserit greeted her and Marie clinged to the black skirt of your dress.

“She’s a Harkonnen,” Feyd pointed out.

“Such a shame your wife is carrying a son. Your combination was unexpected and unplanned in our program but it certainly is interesting,” the woman continued. “Such varieties can enrich our system.”

“What are you doing here?” You asked, rudely, as you put your hand on Marie’s shoulder.

“Forgive the young ones,” Baron Harkonnen coughed as he mumbled out. “My nephew and his wife need a lesson or two about manners,” he tried to laugh. “Of course, you can take the little one with you. Let’s get it over with.”

“No, she cannot. I do not allow that,” you took a step ahead to hide Marie behind you.

“You know I don’t need permission, na-baroness,” the Bene Gesserit smirked. “Don’t make me use The Voice on you when you’re in such a blessed state,” she added with irony.

“If you do that, I’ll kill you,” Feyd barked at her. “If you touch my wife or my daughter, you’re dead,” he threatened.

“Calm down, boy!” His uncle scolded him.

“I am far too important and powerful to be scared of you. Do you think you can kill off a Bene Gesserit sister like me with no consequences?” She laughed at him as she raised her eyebrow cockily.

“That is exactly what I can do as your Emperor,” he tilted his head.

“You’re not one yet, are you? And you won’t be one without our help,” the woman was growing angry but her frustration was aimed at your husband instead of you now.

“We don’t need your help,” you moved closer to Feyd and Marie reached out her little hand towards her daddy. He didn’t hold it, so she clung to his suit with it as she was holding onto your skirt with the other. “My husband and I do not need help from anyone and the days of your sisterhood are being counted just as much as the Baron’s or the Emperor’s. Nobody is going to tell us what we can or have to do. The new order is coming and it’s coming soon,” you stated.

“Such insolence! My Baron, have you heard that?!” The Bene Gesserit looked behind her to look at your husband’s uncle but he was coughing uncontrollably and the servants were already helping him to float out of the room.

She realised that Baron Harkonnen wasn’t in power anymore. You straightened your back when she laid her eyes back at you.

“You do not have friends amongst the Harkonnens anymore,” Feyd said, calmly.

“Unless you cooperate,” you added with a smile.

“Cooperate how?” She asked.

“Let’s start with not taking our daughter away,” you said without thinking and then you felt your cheeks heating up when you realised you had called Marie your daughter.

You hoped it wouldn't make the little Countess or her father angry.

“I see,” the Bene Gesserit woman nodded and clasped her hands. “You’ve adapted quickly. Not many people believed you would survive here but I was one of the few who knew your father’s true nature. We knew that if you were at least half a viper he is, you would adapt here very well.”

“Oh, thank you,” you gave her a fake, charming smile.

“I know that some of my sisters are more loyal to the Harkonnens than our cause,” the woman revealed with a mysterious smile as if she was threatening you with controversial secrets.

“I suggest befriending them then,” you nodded with a smile. “ Quickly, if I were you.”

She left after that, clearly uncomfortable. You could see how she was itching to use The Voice on you but she had to be terrified of Feyd’s threats.

When the heavy doors closed behind her, you felt Marie’s hold onto your skirt loosening. You looked down and realised that Feyd was holding her hand after all – you had no idea when he had begun squeezing it but it warmed your heart.

“Thank you…” Marie’s lower lip trembled.

“Harkonnens don’t cry,” Feyd scolded her.

“Yes, they do,” you crouched down and hugged little Marie. She wrapped her arms around you and you caressed her hair. “Little Harkonnen girls can do whatever they want,” you added and patted her back.

“As long as it’s something father and mother allow,” Feyd added and you cracked a smile. He seemed to be fine with you becoming Marie’s mother.

“Yes, as long as mummy and daddy approve,” you moved away a bit and fixed Marie’s hair.

“Will you really be my mummy?” Marie asked with eyes full of tears.

“Of course, honey. My sweet angel, my darling,” you kissed her cheeks.

“What if I become a bad person like my real mother?” She asked and you went silent for a while. You didn’t know what to say to that.

“You won’t,” Feyd put his hand on her shoulder. “You’re not her,” he assured her and she smiled.

A maid interrupted you all as she was looking for Marie because her tutor had been waiting for her. So, you wiped your girl’s cheeks from tears and sent her away with the maid so she could attend her class.

“What if she finds out the truth one day?” You asked Feyd.

“What truth?” He squinted his eyes.

“That her mother wasn’t exactly evil. That you didn’t have to kill her, it was just the fact that your ego was hurt so much because you had been used like thousands of noble men before you,” you teased and caressed your belly to remind him of your pregnancy in case he would get angry.

“Oh, please,” Feyd laughed, though. He approached you and stood so close that his nose brushed with yours. He liked to show you affection like this, you had realised that lately. Rubbing your nose with his carefully as if he was an animal sniffing the scent of his mate. He was an animal in many ways, after all. But you would domesticate him, of that you were sure.

Just like his daughter, he just needed a little attention and affection.

“She won’t mind,” he assured you. “She’s going to be my daughter raised by you. Brutality and treachery won’t make her flinch,” he added proudly and you chuckled before caressing his cheeks gently.

“Why should they?” You whispered and kissed him lovingly.

You were sure now that by his side you could feel safe and he would protect you and your family even if it was someone as powerful as the Bene Gesserit to threaten you.

MASTERLIST

#feyd rautha x reader #feyd rautha harkonnen x reader #austin butler x reader #lilysfiction

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vauschen-art · 4 months ago

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Hey phighting and forsaken fans. Suprise

Have some headcanons for the survivors in Phighting because I can

Chance - Gave him bunny-like horns because he canonically owns a bunny.

Guest 1337 - Changed the USM logo on his bulletproof vest to be RBXM (Roblox Military) and the flag from an American flag to the old Roblox logo.

Shedletsky - Gave him chicken wings because of his "Chicken" skin, and the hood to reference his "Telamon" skin in Forsaken (and the fact that he's Telamon). Made his gear the "Chicken Leg" when the gear is called the "Turkey Leg" (because if Zuka's gear is the Exponential Rocket Launcher then I can change the gear name a bit). Also made him white as hell because when I inputted his yellow skin into a monochrome filter, it turned out white as hell.

007n7 - Gave him a mix of his original clothes and the "Dad" skin. Antlers come from his "Reindeer" skin and are the color of his original skin tone.

Two Time - Horns are the spawn wings they get when they enter their second life. Scarf is from their milestone 4 skin.

Elliot - Gave them Valk horns to reference his Milestone 4 skin, and made them the same color as his previously yellow skin. Again, made him white as hell for the same reason as Shedletsky, since the monochrome filter turned neon-yellow to white.

Noob - Yellow horns to match his previous skin, and made them the basic short devil horns because he's Noob, and that's about as basic as you can get. Looks weird and bald as hell but hey, so does regular Noob if you turn him completely white.

Builderman - Literally just normal Builderman with a helmet over his horns.

Dusekkar - This mf is literally Ghostdeeri what do you want me to do. He already fits into Phighting's whole universe.

All of these losers (affectionate) are in my Phighting + Forsaken fic on AO3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/63464632

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joemama-2 · 1 month ago

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after the fact

canon to my velvet lies universe.

This was originally going to show up in chap 20, but it was longer than expected and it would’ve made the chapter too long. best read after chapter 17 since it shows reader’s version of this night.

wc: 3.6k

tags/warnings: mentions of miscarriage, pregnancy, angst , dividers by @/cafekitsune

Year: 2017

Satoru admittedly feels like a shitty boyfriend for not answering your barrage of texts. They’re all asking him where he’s at, when he’s coming back, and that you need to talk to him, asap. It’s only been four days since he found you in the bathroom, clutching your stomach with blood-stained bed sheets being held up weakly by you, as if to hide from him the fact.

He still doesn’t know how to properly come to terms with how he felt. First, he was concerned. Very, very concerned. You were bleeding when you shouldn’t have been, cramping in ways that didn’t feel like normal period ones from before, and you threw up.

But then, that small…very small part of him was whispering into his ear that his worries were resolved. That you didn’t have to go through the experience of getting an abortion that might destroy you even more.

And he feels so fucking shitty about that.

What kind of guy tries to look on the bright side of his girlfriend suffering a miscarriage? It takes two to tango, and he had been stupid enough to let this happen. But maybe you felt the same way?

He’s not very sure.

He can’t just exactly ask hey, but at least you just have to deal with some bleeding and cramping now, right?

It’s been honestly a little tense between you both since then, and you still haven’t fully recovered.

He can’t deny the fact that when you broke the news to him, a momentary flash of what your guys’ future could be like flashed in his eyes. You, holding his baby, waiting for him to come home from a long day at work, barefoot on the patio.

But that’s when another emotion flooded his veins.

Fear. How could he—Satoru Gojo—be a father? His own father wasn’t, and still isn’t, even the best to him, and he doesn’t trust himself to even get up to brush his teeth on some days. He’d be a shitty dad, wouldn’t he be? No way you’d want a kid with him.

So finally, all this leads him to his second internal scolding. What kind of boyfriend is getting beers at some slimy bar while his girlfriend is all alone, blowing up his phone?

Hell must already have a seat saved for him.

Lifting the glass of dark liquid to his lips, he sips and leans back on the barstool. Eyes squeezing shut with a frustrated huff leaving his lips once he’s indulged. Why can’t he just man up and go to you? Explain and talk over everything? Why can’t he just comfort you? Truthfully, you’ve been slightly pushing him away, but he needs to try harder.

But he’s not. He’s just…here.

“Cut off, man,” the bartender firmly states once he sees Gojo trying to wave him down for another glass.

Satoru’s mood sours, and he frowns, adjusting the dark glasses on his face. “For what? I’m not even that drunk, dude.”

The bartender wipes down the counter with a rag that’s probably seen better days, giving Satoru a pointed look. “You’re not sitting up straight, and you’ve been mumbling to yourself for ten minutes. That’s enough for me.”

Satoru lets out a dry, humorless laugh. “Thanks for the diagnosis, doc.”

The bartender walks away, leaving Satoru to his own devices, but not before giving him an ice-cold glass of water. He doesn’t take it, eyeing it like it’s poison. But what he does take is the drink beside him. He’s about to bring it to his mouth when a muscular hand comes out to swipe it from him just in time.

Satoru rolls his eyes and looks over, just now noticing the older gentleman. He’s bald, wrinkly skin and a few tattoos on his arm that look slightly faded. He raises a brow at Satoru, bringing his glass closer to himself. “Cut off, remember?”

“He’s not looking.”

Satoru reaches again, and the man pushes his hand. Groaning, Satoru flops down halfway onto the countertop.

“You always this dramatic?” the man asks, voice gravelly with age and too many cigarettes.

Satoru rests his forehead against the sticky wood of the bar. “Only on special occasions.”

“Must be real special to be acting like this.”

“Yeah,” Satoru mutters. “It’s the day I realized I’m a total piece of shit.”

The man snorts. “Takes some self-awareness to admit that. Maybe you’re not all bad.”

Satoru turns his head slightly, cheek still pressed to the counter, and looks at the guy. He notices the gold band on his left ring finger. “How long?” He prompts, pointing at the shiny ring.

The man smiles. “20 years strong now.”

“Long,” Satoru huffs.

“Mhm.”

“Got any secret advice for guys like me?” Satoru rubs mindless circles against the sticky counter.

“Depends,” the man tilts his head. “In deep shit?”

“Kinda.”

“It’s inevitable. Fighting and all that. I’ll tell you this, me and my Edith have fought over many things. Even the simplest of things, like whose turn it is to take a shower first.”

Satoru hums noncommittally, still trapped in the chains of his own ghosts’ whispers. “….doubt any of it is as bad as my situation,” he slurs.

The stranger’s interest is piqued by this drunken teenager’s rambling. He doesn’t want to say that he’s probably wrong, considering Satoru hasn’t lived enough of his life yet to complain about his problems being worse than an older man’s. But he relents. “Well, what did you do?” He sips his drink casually.

Satoru’s eyes close again, feeling a distant sting of tears threatening to let loose. He somehow holds it in. He really shouldn’t be spilling your personal information to some stranger, but a gut feeling urges him to. “…my girlfriend. She…she—um—she just had a…a miscarriage.”

The man stops, eyes widening just a tad before slowly nodding. He sets his glass down onto the counter, letting the silence stay for just a few seconds. Until he gruffs out: “How old?”

“Twenty-one.”

“My wife had hers at twenty-five.”

Satoru’s eyes widened, lifting his head, looking at the stranger like he was a deity. “Y-you…she…oh…”

“Yeah,” the stranger nods. “We were only together for two years at the time.”

“That’s me too!” Satoru exclaims, twisting his body to fully face the stranger. “H-how did you guys….…how did you guys make it through that?” Satoru finishes, voice cracking slightly around the edges.

The man looks down at his glass, not speaking right away. The ice inside clinks against the sides as he swirls it once, slowly. “We almost didn’t,” he finally says. “Grief like that—it doesn’t just go away. It either eats at you, or it glues you together in a way no one else understands.”

Satoru stares, wide-eyed and hungrier than he’s ever felt in his life—not for food, but for answers. For something to anchor him when everything feels like it’s drifting too far.

“She stopped talking to me for weeks,” the man goes on, eyes growing distant. “I didn’t know how to comfort her. Every time I tried, I just said the wrong thing. Hell, sometimes I said nothing at all. Just like you, huh?”

Satoru nods slowly, guilt coating his throat like tar. “Yeah,” he mutters. “Exactly like me.”

“She thought I didn’t care,” the man says. “I was just scared. Of everything. Of losing her, too, especially when she started pulling away.”

“Fuck,” Satoru breathes, head falling into his hands. “That’s exactly what’s happening. She’s pulling away. And I—I’m letting her.”

The man places a steady hand on Satoru’s shoulder. It’s rough, calloused—like a man who’s worked with his hands all his life—but the grip is firm and reassuring.

“Then don’t let her,” he says. “It’s not about having the right words, kid. Sometimes it’s just about being there. Sitting in the dark with them so they don’t feel alone. You don’t have to fix it. You just have to show up.”

Satoru’s throat tightens, his eyes burning again. He nods, a little shakily. “Okay,” he whispers. “Okay, I…I think I can do that.”

The man gives his shoulder one last pat, then picks up his drink again. “You love her?”

Satoru nods. “More than anything.”

“Then go home,” the man says. “Tell her that. And don’t be afraid to cry a little. Hell, I cried like a baby the first time I told Edith what I really felt. And she never let me live it down.”

Satoru huffs a dry laugh, rubbing his red eyes. Gulping when he feels his throat dry and tighten up. “I just…I want to do more than be there for her. I want her to see it through my actions, too.”

“Then start small,” the stranger leans closer. “Edith has a sister who runs support groups for grieving parents after she lost her toddler in a car crash.” The man finishes, voice soft but grounded, “She does ‘em twice a week. Tuesdays and Thursdays. You could bring your girl. Just sit in the back. Listen. You’d be surprised what a little shared pain can do.”

Satoru swallows hard, a shaky breath caught in his chest. The idea of walking into a room and hearing stories like his—stories worse than his—terrifies him. But at the same time, something about it…feels like the first step toward healing. “…She might not wanna go,” he murmurs.

“Then go for her,” the man says simply. “Learn how to be what she needs, even if she can’t say it yet.”

Satoru nods again, slowly this time, as if the words are finally beginning to settle into his bones. He doesn’t even know this man’s name. But something about this encounter—it feels like divine intervention. A message from the universe that he doesn’t have to keep spiraling in silence.

“…What’s your name?” he asks quietly, voice rough with emotion.

The man pauses, looks at him with the faintest smile. “Masaru.”

“Masaru,” Satoru repeats. “Thank you.”

Masaru raises his glass in a silent toast. “Don’t waste too much time feeling sorry for yourself, kid. Regret’s a heavy bastard to carry around. Trust me.”

With that, Masaru finishes his drink, places it down, and nods once before heading for the door—leaving Satoru sitting in the dim light of the bar, blinking through the weight in his chest.

After a long moment, he picks up the glass of water the bartender left him. And for once, he drinks it. Every last drop. Once he’s done, he slaps a few bills on the counter for his tab and rushes out. Running back home while simultaneously clicking away at different articles on his phone, not even bothering with the glasses that fall off his face.

“Afterwards —- Miscarriage”

“The hidden grief of miscarriage”

“After a Miscarriage: Surviving Emotionally”

“Your Feelings and Emotions After a Miscarriage”

“Supporting someone through pregnancy loss”

He’s reading headlines, skimming intros, clicking links like a man possessed. Each paragraph cuts into him, sharp and unfamiliar, but also strangely grounding. Sentences like “There is no right way to grieve” and “Miscarriage can often lead to feelings of isolation, guilt, and numbness” slam into his chest. But it’s the lines about partners that dig the deepest:

“Partners often feel helpless in the aftermath of a miscarriage. Their grief may look different, but it’s real. The best thing they can do is stay, listen, and love without condition.”

Stay.

Listen.

Love without condition.

His thumb hovers over one article for a few seconds longer than the others. It’s titled:

“Sometimes Silence Hurts More Than Words: How to Show Up After Pregnancy Loss.”

He taps it open and walks slower now, soaking up every single line as if it’s gospel. A checklist for redemption. He barely notices how far he’s gone until he’s standing in front of the door to the guesthouse you’re currently in. His hand pauses over the door handle. For a second, he wonders if maybe he should come back in the morning. Maybe you’re asleep. Maybe you don’t want to see him at all.

But then he thinks of Masaru.

Of Edith.

Of the baby that wasn’t.

Of you, curled up in bed, bleeding and alone.

And he opens the door, instantly looking for you. It’s dark and quiet, no sound or trace of you anywhere. He walks inside a little deeper until he gets to your temporary bedroom.

The door is ajar, he carefully pushes it open, and steps inside. You have your back to him, wearing one of his shirts. But even with your back turned, he can see the way your hand hovers just barely over your stomach.

His heart twists.

“Baby…” he whispers, unsure of the emotional state you’re in right now. “Baby, I’m sorry I didn’t answer your texts. I’m really, really sorry.”

Turning your head over your shoulder, you catch a whiff of alcohol, noticing the red tint to his eyes. A scowl forms, and your eyes narrow. “Oh…so that’s what you’ve been doing. Drinking, huh?”

“N-no—” he grimaces, “well, yes. But I’m sober right now. And there’s a lot of things I want to tell you, say, confess, but let me hold you fir—”

“Your mom knows I’m here.”

He pauses his strides toward you, arms falling limply by his sides. “S-She does.”

You say nothing.

“Shit,” he runs a hand through his hair, looking you over. “I'm sorry. Fuck, I didn’t know she’d find out. Did she say anything to you? Do anything?”

When he steps forward again, you step back, keeping your guard up. “A lot. And maybe it’s all true.”

The air between you both feels thick enough to choke on. That single step back—small, instinctive—lands like a blow to his chest. He stops moving, arms still slightly out like he’s half-formed in a gesture to comfort, to reach, to be held accountable. But it’s clear now: you’re not ready for any of that.

“…What did she say?” he asks, quieter this time. Like he’s afraid of the answer.

“I’m not right for you.”

“What?”

“You hide me like I’m your mistake. And maybe….maybe I am. Maybe that’s all I’ll ever be.”

Silence falls like a guillotine.

Satoru visibly reels. You see it in the way his face shifts—like every syllable of what she said scrapes down his spine and leaves him raw. He tries to swallow it down, but it doesn’t go anywhere. “She’s wrong,” he says, voice low, nearly hoarse. “She’s so fucking wrong. And so are you. You’re not a mistake, you’re my life. I love you, everything about you—I love you.”

“Are we wrong?” you ask, still not looking at him.

He flinches. “Yes,” he insists, stepping forward again, more carefully this time. “Yes, you guys are. None of that is true. Not a damn word of it. And I should’ve answered. I should’ve picked up my phone and come straight home when you needed me—”

“Shut up!” You shout, taking a step closer and pushing him weakly by his shoulders. “Just shut up, shut up! I don’t want to hear your excuses.”

Satoru doesn’t fight back against your push; he barely even stumbles. But he doesn’t move closer anymore, staring at you like your words hurt more than your actions. And they do. “Baby, baby…please. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry for not answering your—”

“It’s not just about tonight!” You cut him off, inhaling a shaky wheeze. You’re about to cry. “It’s about—about everything! Everything…”

“What’s everything? Please, talk to me.”

“You did this to me! You did this, you did this, you did this!” Another push.

Your fists hit his chest again—harder this time, more desperate than angry. Like if you could just bruise him enough, it might match the hollow ache inside you. He takes it all. Silent. Still. His chest rising and falling, eyes wide and wet as he lets you unravel in front of him.

“I didn’t ask for this,” you cry, voice cracking like glass. “I didn’t ask for any of this! I didn’t want to be scared and alone and—and—and wondering if something was wrong with me because I couldn’t keep our baby—”

His face crumples, and he tries to speak, but your next words slice the air clean through.

“And I bet you’re so happy too, huh?!”

His eyes widened, furiously shaking his head. “No! No! I’m not happy, I’m not happy about any of this. I hate seeing you in pain, I hate seeing you cry, I hate it! But I want to be here, I’m gonna help you get through this.” He nods in determination, scrambling to pull out his phone and point at the last article he was left on. “I’m learning and I'm gonna learn a lot about miscarriages and grief. And I met someone who knows a woman who does support groups for parental grief. We both c—”

“Five weeks,” you cut him, body trembling with pain, anger, frustration, helplessness. “It’s too early for people to even validate me because the fetus hadn’t developed into an actual baby yet! I don’t even know if I wanted it yet! But even then, I still did something fucking wrong because I can never hold onto good things. I always mess up, my mind, my body, my soul—it’s all shit!”

Your voice breaks on the last word, and suddenly there’s nothing left holding the dam back. Tears fall fast and hot, your whole body trembling from the weight of it all—anger, guilt, grief, shame.

Satoru is frozen for a beat too long. Not because he doesn’t care. But because your pain—so naked and unfiltered—is almost unbearable to witness. He feels like an intruder to something sacred and broken. But then, slowly, he lowers his phone, drops it onto the dresser behind him, and kneels. Not out of some dramatic gesture, not to beg—but just to be smaller, softer, less threatening. To meet you at the level where your pain lives.

He whispers, “Hey, hey, no. Don’t say that about yourself.”

You shake your head wildly, wiping your face with the backs of your hands. “It’s true—”

“It’s not. I won’t let you talk about yourself like that.” His voice cracks, tears beginning to cloud his vision, too. “I don’t care how many weeks it was. I don’t care what anyone says. You lost something, we did. And you’re allowed to feel like the world cracked open because of it. You’re allowed to hurt. You don’t need permission from anyone.”

You look down at him, lip quivering, eyes glassy with disbelief and devastation. “But I failed. My body—”

“You didn’t fail,” he says firmly, his hand finally reaching for yours. He doesn’t grab. Just lets it hover there. Waiting for you to take it, if you want. “Your body survived. And I know you didn’t ask for this. I know we weren’t ready. But that doesn’t make you less. That doesn’t mean you did something wrong.”

You collapse to your knees in front of him. Not because you’ve forgiven him. Not because the pain’s gone. But because your legs can’t hold it all anymore. The guilt, the confusion, the loneliness. And he catches you. Gently. Carefully. Like you’re the most fragile thing he’s ever held. His arms wrap around you—not tight or suffocating. But just enough to let you feel his warmth, his presence, his promise.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he murmurs into your hair, voice wrecked with emotion. “You don’t have to go through this alone. Not anymore.”

You sob into his shoulder, your fists still loosely gathered against his chest. “What if I can’t be okay after this?”

“Then I’ll sit with you in the not-okay,” he says, pressing a shaky kiss to your temple. “For as long as it takes.”

Silence. Stillness.

Then, soft. Broken. Barely audible.

“…I…I think….I just wanted to be a mom.”

It breaks him. Truly.

He hugs tighter with the quiet desperation of a man who has nothing left to lose. You melt deeper into him. Into the chest you’d just hit moments ago, and the arms that feel just a little more solid than the air around you. And for the first time in days, you let yourself fall apart with someone.

Satoru holds your head, cradles it like something precious, and whispers into your hair:

“We’ll get through this. Together. However long it takes. However it hurts. You’re not alone, baby. I’m here. I’m right here.”

And he stays, long after the sobs turn into hiccups, long after the moon is swallowed by dawn.

For the first time, he doesn’t leave.

But even after this night, you didn’t imagine how tumultuous your relationship would grow. That even after his reassurance and hugs and kisses, he too wasn’t entirely confident in his capabilities. But he stayed with you, through everything—quite literally. How long was that supposed ‘not-okay’ stage supposed to last?

Satoru wish he saw Masaru again after that night and tell him how his advice did, but didn’t work either. That him and his girl wouldn’t be going 20 years strong after an event like this. He almost wants to punch him in the face and demand more answers as to how to keep a relationship healthy and strong, and long. But the ultimate truth is, it’s different for every couple. And unfortunately, this couple couldn’t figure out their own way—what worked for them.

And that fucking sucks.

You don’t know if you can hold this part against him anymore; it holds too much weight in your heart. But it follows along, secretly. You wish it would go away and that you and Satoru could just start fresh and new.

And he forever hates himself for letting you down—for not being the man you needed at that time in your lives. He let you get away—he pushed you away. And he spent many sleepless nights, lying awake, holding a tight hand over his mouth to stifle his sobs.

Sure, years had passed, and you both slowly learned to heal. That doesn’t diminish the fact that you forever changed the trajectory of his life.

Maybe your story with Satoru should’ve ended that night. Maybe it would’ve been better to. It would’ve saved you guys a lot of heartbreak and hissed insults that you can never take back.

But it also wouldn’t have given you your bright baby boy, the bright and beautiful personification of your guys’ own way.

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sparklingblu · 1 year ago

Text

Inferior Activities

Lia x M Reader

"How's the salad?"

"Oh, it's great" you answer as you try not to grimace after swallowing the lettuce that taste no different from paper.

"I made few twists to the dressing, you know. A family secret" The bald man winks as he takes another bite of the potato that would have turned to coal if it have been roasted a minute more.

Studying the plates of green laid out all across the table, you make a firm decision never to become a vegan. At least not if your father in law is gonna be your chef. Lia has warned his cooking skills are terrible but you didn't expect it to be this awful. The only tolerable content of the table seems to be the so-called vegan meat and even that's starting to taste lesser and lesser like meat with each bite. No offense to all those animal loving vegans out there but they really are missing out a lot in their life. You wouldn't have lasted a day if you have to survive without meat.

Your eye flicker up to Lia, seated across, to see if she's on the same page with you on the matter. She lazily plops a broccoli into her mouth, her eyes betraying no signs of disappointment. The corner of her lips twitch in a thin smile as if to mock your suffering. She looks contented even.

In the end, you only have yourself to blame. When Lia suggestsled you visits her dad on the weekends, you agreed with a simple nod. Sure, it's your first time meeting her old man but what could go wrong? Right?

Except that everything does. As soon as you enter the house, the first thing the dude asked you was your opinion on wildlife conservation. At first you thought he was joking then you find out he's actually very serious about the matter. Weather talk would have been a good starter. Seriously, who starts a conversation like that?

Then after seeing the dishes he has prepared, you find out making conversation is the least of your worries. He's your father in law and you have respect for him and all but this dude is horrible at being a vegan. If he calls his mushroom soup which tastes more like mushroom-flavored dishwater 'a masterpiece', you might as well consider becoming a chef. Who knows? Maybe you will even get a couple michelin stars.

You are thinking of a way to escape this organic hell and the constant ear rape about how billions of animals are killed per year for human consumption when Lia finally comes to your aid.

"Dad, we are nearly done. Why don't you go make your signature smoothie? I haven't got the chance to taste it since I left for college" she suggests and the old man's eyes twinkle with maddening joy.

"Oh, of course! How could I forget that? It was your mother's favorite" his tone turns solemn at the mention of his late wife but you are too focused on the idea of finally getting some breathing room to care. "Two smoothies. Coming right up! You will absolutely love it" He winks at you again and leaves the table.

You drop your utensils and exhale in relief. "Finally. I was gonna turn into stone if I hear one more second of his animal talk"

Lia chuckles. "I get used to it after living with him for 18 years. He's actually a really sweeet guy. He just tries to focus on something else after my mom passed, I guess"

If the fact is supposed to make you feel sorry, it doesn't work. But you are not gonna tell her that. "How do you survive with this kind of food all these years?"

"It wasn't always that bad" Belle protests. "And sometimes he even cooks meat. But his skills get rusty with old age"

"Yep, I'm never becoming a vegan"

Lia pouts in annoyance. "Oh, come on. It's not that bad"

"Suits yourself"

"You just hate vegetables in general"

You roll your eyes in feigned annoyance. "Look, who's trying to follow her father's steps"

"Whatever" Lia finally gives up, pushing up her glasses from her nose. "I'm still hungry you know...."

"Maybe we can go to McDonald's or something later"

"No, daddy" Lia's voice turns low and sultry. "You know exactly what I want"

You look around in a panic to see if her dad has overheard your conversation. Thankfully, the guy's busy cutting carrots on the kitchen counter.

"Lia, I told you not to call me that in public. Especially not when your literal dad is right here" you warned, though you can't deny the fact that hearing her call you the name get your blood flowing backwards.

"Oh, come on, daddyyyyy" she pushes on, stressing the last word to make it sound even more fervorous. "I know you secretly love it"

"Look, babe. I love the name but this isn't the right place. Seriously, your dad's right there"

"So what?" Lia puts her elbows on the table, propping her chin in her palms. "Don't you enjoy a little risk?"

"Come on, babe. Not right now. I will make it up to you when you come back"

"But I want it now" Lia whines, the pout reforming on her lips. "Need to taste daddy's big cock. Need it shove down my throat"

"Lia...." you hiss, becoming aware of her tone, increasing by the second.

"Daddy pleaseee" she gives you those bambi eyes she knows you can't resist. "Let me suck your huge cock. I need you to fill up my mouth with your hot cum. I have been a good girl, haven't I? I deserve my reward" Lia runs her tongue along her top lips to punctuate her wish.

With the way her words get your asleep mamba waking up, you already know you are fighting a losing battle but you still need to be the one in charge here. "Alright, fine. But-"

"Oops. I drop my spoon" The metal hits the floor with a loud clang and Lia immediately dives down the table. It's an overused trope. You have seen it in hundreds of porn videos and you are no stranger to it. But you have never thought you would be in a similar situation and this time, the risk is very real. Her dad is not a paid actor who would pretend to be oblivious at the scene which would soon unfold.

"Is everything ok?" Lia's dad shouts from the kitchen counter, now washing.....are those eggplants?

"Yes, mister! We are gold!" You replies, hoping he would stay focused on his veggies.

You look down and find Lia already kneeled between your legs, a flicker of amusement in her eyes behind those glasses. Her lips curve into an impish smile. "Just stay still and let me do all the work, daddy" she whispers, her hands already working on your zipper. With one swift pull, she opens it up, revealing your red underwear underneath. "Oh, daddy's wearing my favorite colour today" Lia muses as she grabs your cock over the thin fabric, her thumb tracing slow circles. "Daddy, you are already so hard"

As much as you want to prolong this pornographic session, her dad is not going to be in the kitchen forever and you don't want to give him a heart attack. "Babe, enough teasing. Make it quick" you warn and her thumb rests on your head, pressing down on that sensitive spot she only knows. You let out a half-formed moan, not daring to be loud.

"You know the magic word, daddy. No need to be so formal" she presses again and you grit your teeth.

"Start sucking my cock, you slut" you calls her by her favorite nickname, which intsantly gets her engines revving.

"Yes, daddy" she release her grip, pulling down your underwear. Your rock hard cock springs out in a flash, hitting her spectacles. "Someone's eager" Lia chuckles, placing her brown locks behind her back, preparing for the main course. Her left hand close around your base, pumping it up and down in an agonizingly slow pace. She looks at your cock like it's something glorious, something she should be worshipping. But that's not so far from the truth. If this slut wants to choke on your cock, you are gonna permit it happily.

"Daddy, you are so big" Lia mutters dreamily, her free hand fondling your balls each at a time. The combination gets your mind cloudy, basking in the pleasure you nearly forget the whole point of this.

"I don't see you sucking my cock?" Lia stops her movements at your words and you nearly reget telling her to stop. But that doesn't last long because Lia instantly starts obliging to your command.

"Patience, daddy" With that, her rosy lips seal around your tip, taking you partly into the warmth of her mouth. Meanwhile, her hands grab your shaft, working in unison with each drag of her lips. The twist of her fingers along with her tongue that swirls around your slit gets you throwing your head back, letting out a graon. Then you quickly recompose not to expose yourself.

Lia doesn't seem to be bothered. Getting caught seems to be the last thing on your mind as she slurps on your head with fevorous vigour. Like it's the most delicous lollipop she has ever tasted. Her tongue gathers up any pre cum that leaks from your slit, taking it straight down to her stomach. She would takes anything your cock has to offer.

Every moment or so, you would check on her dad, making sure the guy's still busy brewing his organic potion which contents are starting to get weirder. But as long as he's busy, you don't care what he's putting into that blender. It's the best for him and you. You doubt the old man would be as merciful to you as he is to wildlife if he finds out his daughter is giving you head under his table.

But the task proves to be harder because Lia's dad would throw you ocassional glances and you have to put on this stupid grin everytime, which is not so easy with how Lia's sucking you off. Now she has taken half your cock into her mouth, her cheeks hollowed with unfathomable suction. Her hair sways with every bob of her head, forming silky waves of hazel. All the while, she keeps her eyes on you behind those circular frames, those pools of black seems to be asking if she's doing a good job.

"God, Lia....just like that" you grip the edge of the table to compensate for not being able to rejoice in the bliss of Lia's wet hole freely. Your head darting up and down as you keep watch on her father as well as enjoy the view between your legs.

Your shaft is now ringed with red as Lia leaves tarces of her lipstick mixed with her saliva while her lips glide smoothly along your cock, making it a red wet mess. Not like you mind. She can keeps messing it up all she wants.

Her tongue action doesn't waver either, licking up any available part but escpecially under your tip to tackle your weak spot each time she takes you in. To add icing on the cake, she has her left hand wrapped around your base to pump the lengths unattended by her mouth, not leaving out any throbbing vein.

You are helpless against her attack, the only action from your side to keeps grabbing the tablecloth into an unshapely tangle. And even that's starting to fail at holding back your moans.

A loud whirring sound fills up the place as Lia's dad starts brewing all those green stuffs in the blender. He gives you a thumbs up and you smile back, shammming excitement. The sound of the blender blades reminding you of the disguisting smoothie you will soon have to drink.

However, Lia takes advantage of the noise by taking your whole length down on her throat, the loud gagging sound lost in the echoes of spinning blades. You take the chance to make any audible sound that would let you express your euphoria. A moan. Then two. Then a couple more. It no longer seems to be ending as Lia devour your cock like a hungry animal, hitting the back of her throat each time she deeothroats.

Drops of saliva litters the ground. The evidences of Lia's godly work. Gags after gags escape her mouth in rhythm with your moans. However, escape won't be suitable here with the way your cock is blocking her airway. But that isn't a problem because she would choose your dick over oxygen.

The blender keeps whirring and Lia keeps choking on your cock. Her glasses now tilted at a strange angle from the force of her movement, the temple hanging on one ear only. Currently, her vision isn't as important as the taste of your dick on her tongue.

Lia finally pulls back, trails of saliva running from your tip to her lips. A waterfall of saliva staining her white shirt. Her tongue rolled out and her temples dripping with sweat.

"Daddy....am I...good?" she pants like a bitch in heat, all her lipsticks all gone.

"Very. But you gotta finish what you start my little slut"

"Yes, daddy. Feed me your thick cum. I want it all"

"Then come and take it"

Lia dives back on your cock, immeditaely swallowing your whole length. You groans out at the burst of pleasure, her throat constricted around your shaft. Lia holds her position, her nose pressed to your pelvis for a few moment before pulling back, just to start fucking her throat on your cock again and again.

The sound of the blender stops and you hear the clink of glasses. Turning your head, you find Lia's dad pouring the green liquid into two glasses. It would only be a few minutes before he comes back.

Lia seems to realize to because her lips form an airtight seal around your head and her hands satrt pumping your shaft furiously. Using all your willpower to hold out from finishing earlier leaves no strength left to withstand Lia's final assault. Your cock starts throbbing and soon you are spilling your cum into her mouth. Some reaching her tongue, the other flowing straight down her throat. Lia's fingers keep twisting back and forth and you empty the last drops of your protein rich fluid into her welcoming hole.

You close your eyes, breathing hard. The relief is instant as much as the build up is agonizingly blissful. Lia releases your cock with a pop and lick up the remnants of cum on the tip. You are too lost in the euphporic finale you totally forget the perilous situation you are in. When you realize, it's too late.

Lia's dad is near the table, two glasses of the green smoothie in his hands. His face is a mixture of shock and distress as he stands rooted to the spot, his eyes fixed on her daughter's face a few centimeters away from your spent cock. His mouth opens but before he can speak, Lia chimes in.

"Thanks for the meal daddy. But I don't think I'm going to need the smoothie. I already have dessert"

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#itzy smut #lia smut #kpop smut #male reader

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