#my dad and my mom and my brother (all good at math) failed to help me get past that

[eddis-not-eeddis]

HAH! Aced the math portion of my exam! Messed up once, because I mixed up how many feet were in a mile. (I put in the amount of square feet in an acre instead. -_- In my defense however, that was memory error and not actual math.) It was all fairly easy math, but as someone who literally sobbed her heart out over percentages in high-school and had to pay the entirety of her month's salary for a math tutor, I feel accomplished.

[agaypanic]

Do you think you could do a Reese x Cynthia’s sister! Reader enemies to lovers and/or soulmate fic?

Not So Bad (Reese Wilkerson X Sanders!Reader)

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Summary: Being a former Krelboyne with your sister Cynthia, you knew very well of the Wilkersons. Especially Reese.

A/N: The Sanders family doesn’t go to Europe, also i feel like this sucks but idk how to make it better lol

***

When your dad first told you and your sister that you were moving out of Manhattan, you were kind of excited. Manhattan was loud and hectic, and you agreed with your dad on wanting a more quiet life.

It wasn’t so bad at first. Seeing your and Cynthia’s grade history, the school had you two tested, and you were placed in a class for smarter kids. They called it the Krelboyne class. The kids were okay, a bit awkward at times, but that didn’t stop you from making friends with them. 

Cynthia immediately took notice of a boy named Malcolm, and you all became friends. With Malcolm came his crazy family, the most notable to you being Reese. You two were in the same grade but only saw each other during lunch or when you two were waiting for your respective siblings after school so you could go home. He was violent, rude, and annoying.

You two would bicker whenever you were around each other. He’d make fun of you for being smart, and you’d make fun of him for being dumb. There was no escaping him since you and Cynthia were friends with Malcolm, and your dad didn’t allow your sister to be alone with Malcolm after he threw a brick through her window one night.

Hormones did crazy things to the Wilkerson boys, apparently.

Since you were in the grade above Cynthia and Malcolm, you started high school before them. No more hanging out with your Krelboyne friends. The only person you really knew at school now was Reese, who was a pain in your ass. But the good thing about high school was that no Krelboyne class meant you weren’t isolated from the rest of the student body. Slowly but surely, you started making more friends.

You were talking to one of them after school one day when Reese came up to you.

“You’re good at math, right?” Your friend said goodbye to you and walked away. You sighed, looking at Reese.

“Why?” You asked bluntly.

“I’m failing and-”

“Not surprised.”

“Shut up, okay! My mom saw my grades and is making me get a tutor.”

“Why not make Malcolm do it? Doesn’t he already do your homework?” You asked, walking towards the exit to get your sister, who was at the middle school. Reese followed after you, having to do the same with his brother.

“He can’t do it because he’s working on some stupid project. Look, will you help me or not?”

You stopped on the sidewalk, pretending to look off in thought. You turned to Reese, who looked annoyed but hopeful.

“Not.”

***

You ended up having to tutor Reese in math anyway. Lois knew Malcolm was too busy, and you were the next best thing. Plus, it was five bucks an hour.

That was the only upside.

“Reese, your mom is paying me to teach you how to do your homework, not do it for you.” You flopped on his bed, annoyed at his persistence.

“Well, if you were a better teacher, I wouldn’t have to ask you to do it for me.” You glared at him.

“And if you were a better student, I wouldn’t be here in the first place.” You shut your eyes, trying to block out as much of Reese’s presence as possible. The boy knew how to push your buttons. He was so frustrating. You felt lucky to be in higher-level classes, so you only had to deal with him after school. “God, you’re such a pain in the ass.”

He scoffed. You felt the bed dip beside you.

“Oh yeah, and you’re an angel, Y/n.” He laid down parallel to you, but his head was by your feet. You two lay in a moment of silence.

“Reese, we have to focus.” You finally said, sitting up just enough to look at his face. He snored softly in response. You almost rolled your eyes; of course, he would fall asleep when you had work to do. But you stopped yourself. He seemed more pleasant when he wasn’t conscious. You let out a breath, slowly lying back down. “Five minutes.”

An hour had passed when one of you finally woke up. It was Reese, who stretched all his limbs before slowly sitting up. When he saw you sleeping, he smirked. Ideas ran through his head of all the ways he could wake you up. But then he paused his thoughts. You looked peaceful, and for some reason, he didn’t want to disturb that. So he decided to let you wake on your own.

***

“Cynthia, Reese and I are not together.” You said on the walk home from the Wilkerson’s, grimacing at the mere thought. Your sister and Malcolm had seen you sleeping on Reese’s bed, and she wouldn’t shut up about it when you two left.

“Well, he has to like you or something. There’s no way he wouldn’t try to pull something on you while you were asleep if he didn’t.”

“You’re just a hopeless romantic.” You shook your head at her insistence. You and Reese could barely be considered friends, let alone a couple. “We were both tired, that’s it. He probably was having an off day or something, so he didn’t decide to do anything.”

Cynthia dropped the topic, sensing you wouldn’t budge anytime soon. It wasn’t until before you were going to go to bed that you barged into your sister’s room.

“Do you actually think he could like me?” You asked, toying with the hem of your pajamas. She smirked.

“I thought you insisted that he doesn’t.” She sat on her bed, patting a spot next to her, signaling for you to sit. “What changed your mind?” You rolled your eyes, sitting down.

“I didn’t change my mind, I’m just… more open to possibilities.” You tried to act nonchalant but then sighed, putting your head in your hands. “There was, like, this moment before I fell asleep. I was so annoyed with him, and then I looked at him, and he just looked so peaceful. It was so weird.”

Little did you know, Reese was having the same conversation with Malcolm.

***

Things didn’t really change between you and Reese. They were a bit weirder, not that either of you said anything about it. You two were nicer to each other, but not too much.

Cynthia had decided that in order to make new friends, she had to throw a party. Knowing how hard it was to make friends with peers that you weren’t really peers with, you and your dad encouraged the idea. She was so excited. She made hundreds of invites, giving them to kids around school and leaving some at the library.

“Hey, I heard you’re having a party tomorrow.” Reese suddenly brought up on your walk to your siblings’ school. 

“Cynthia is.” You clarified.

“Do you have any say on the guest list?”

“Trying to get invited, Wilkerson?” You asked. You were slightly confused about why he would want to come to a party at your house.

“I was just curious, God. Always asking questions.” He responded. He rolled his eyes but kept a slight smile on his lips. “You know, Malcolm’s been trying to talk your sister out of throwing her little party.”

“What?” You stopped walking. “Why?” Reese just shrugged. You shook your head, continuing your pace. “I swear, if she says that she doesn’t wanna have this party anymore, I’ll be pissed. It’s all she’s been talking about.”

“If you want, I can beat some sense into him so he can shut up about the party.”

“No thanks, Reese.” You let out a small laugh. Of course, he would resort to violence, even when it came to his brother.

“Thought I’d offer.”

***

Luckily, Cynthia didn’t let Malcolm’s persistence affect her. The party was in full swing, full of people from middle and high school. Your sister seemed to be having a really good time, mingling with all the different groups.

There was a knock on the door. It was a miracle you could hear it over all the music and talking. You opened the door to see Malcolm and Reese. You glared down at the younger Wilkerson.

“What are you doing here, Malcolm?” He recoiled a bit at your reaction. He was used to seeing this kind of behavior towards Reese; he didn’t like it being towards him.

“Is Cynthia here?”

“She lives here.” You deadpanned. You refused to believe he actually had an IQ of 165. “Are you here to apologize?”

“Yeah.”

You opened the door a bit more to let him into the house.

“Go find her then.” He immediately followed your instruction, zooming into the house to find your sister. You looked up at Reese, who seemed amused. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, just glad you’re not like that with me anymore.” You rolled your eyes, but your mood was better than when you spoke to Malcolm.

“Don’t push your luck.” You joked.

“Can I come in?” You were somewhat surprised at the politeness. Reese usually didn’t care about invitations. You nodded, shutting the door behind him when he entered the house. “Can I have a tour?” He surprised you again. You expected him to start walking around on his own.

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

You led him through the house, being sure to pass by the kitchen for some snacks. You don’t know why, but you decided to show him upstairs as well, the last stop of your little tour being your bedroom.

“I’ve never realized that you’ve never been here before.” You commented from your place on your bed, watching him look around your room. He nodded.

“Me neither.” He sat near you, carefully eating a cracker so crumbs wouldn’t get on your blanket. Another surprise. “Nice posters and stuff.”

“Thanks.” You took a cracker from his plate. He didn’t say anything about it; instead, he just looked at you and placed the plate between you. “You know, you don’t have to stay up here with me. You can go back down to the party if you want.”

“Nah, I’m good.” He ate another piece of food. “You’re cool to hang with.”

You raised your brows. You didn’t expect Reese to become so tolerant of you. You lay down on your bed, looking up at the ceiling.

“You’re not too bad yourself.” You muttered, playing with your fingers. After finishing his food, Reese laid down as well. “Are we, like, friends now or something?” Reese was quiet, trying to figure out how to respond. He turned his head to you, and you did the same.

His eyes darted from yours to your lips and back. He was hoping you wouldn’t notice, but you did. The boy was anything but subtle. Taking a leap of faith, Reese moved his head closer to yours.

“I was thinking ‘or something.’” Before he could say anything else, you moved closer, putting your lips against his. To get out of the awkward position you two were in, Reese turned to lay more on his side, cradling the back of your neck. You looked up at him with a nervous smile when you two broke apart. 

“‘Or something’ works.”

[whore-mel]

Y'all I'm back into my Michael afton phase. (I keep switching in between fictional crushes) So I'm going to write some head canons for him. Cause people see him as a rockstar fuck boy bully who's a jackass and the most handsome/popular boy in school. Sooo this is how I see him 🥰🥰

Michael afton head canons!!

He's bi. He sees hot punk woman and like: DAYUMMM. Then he sees his best friends and he's like: OHHHHH

He's a nerd. I mean. Come on guys. His dad is a business man. So obviously he was like: "if u fail math. I'm gonna shove a calculator up your ass." And then Michael is like : "😦".

He does play an instrument. Probably guitar and drums. And he is trying to make a band. Usually he and his friends play in Simon and Anissa's basement. (Anissa is chica bro, Simon is just a college student who is her brother)

He's not only a nerd. But a geek or a dork. Idk. He plays DND and he reads marvel comics and he likes math.

He skateboards. Like any time anywhere. Just likes it.

ABSOLUTELY hates dogs. Cause when he was 12. A Chihuahua absolutely ripped his shin and ever since then..he hated them. And is absolutely terrified of them.

He sucks at flirting. But his dorkiness got him two bad bitches. He also doesn't know how.

He started bullying Evan after Elizabeth's demise. Cause he says "it's Evan's fault he should've taken care of Liz". Even though it was Michael's responsibility to take care of his elementary school siblings.

His hair isn't long but isn't short. It's messy and he usually keeps it back by a metal hairband.

His go-to outfit is jean shorts and the grey tank top. 💀💀

He screams like a girl.

He's an artist, and he usually draws people around him.

He nags alot. Like alot.

He's definitely a golden retriever boy. He's all jumpy and smiley.

He smiles with his teeth and he probably has either dimples or freckles. Maybe both

He has tons of scars from dumb accidents or small injuries, usually on his legs.

He absolutely loves winter. Cause he gets to throw snow at his friends and no school. But he loves summer more.

He's the type of person to eat tons of junk food and not gain any weight. So he eats a lot.

He has braces. He says he needs them because he took his father's British teeth.

He prefers his mom's side of the family.

He was named after his grandfather, William's dad.

He's the type of person to text you "I FELL DOQWN THE STAIRS."

He has multiple bracelets and hairbands on him, cause "what if someone needs one!!"

Even though he has a skateboard and prefers a skateboard. He has a bike.

he loves chewing gum and popsicles. But he hates how fast they melt.

If you and him have never spoken and he randomly finds you walking down the street and he's bored. WELL! You're his friend now, whether you like it or not!

He's extremely extroverted, but he's bad at making friends somehow.

He's the type of person to gasp when he thinks of something great. Like "GASP! What if..." Y'know?

He's not the athletic person. He doesn't have abs or anything. But he's lean and his body in good shape because he helps his dad with the heavy metal and fixing the animatronics.

I don't think he ever thinks about sex. Most of the time just "DND..did I do my math homework..oh yeah..yeah I did..did I feed Elizabeth? No. Who cares..she'll feed herself. WAIT....where's my watch..? Oh it's on my wrist..forgot." I think that's what goes on in his brain most of the time

He's definitely a virgin. He stayed a virgin until he reached college. And he stayed a virgin until he died.

I think that's it. Idk tho. But here's my view of Michael afton!!! AHHHHHHH

[manicpixxiedreambitch]

When I was going into fourth grade, my mom requested that I wouldn’t have this one teacher my older siblings had had previously. She never made sense to them and they struggled in her class. I didn’t get her as my main teacher, but unfortunately she did end up being my math teacher.

I didn’t understand long division. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I was there every lesson and it didn’t help. That mean old teacher kept me in her classroom during lunch and recess to practice long division and tutor me on it (not that I really had any friends to play with or eat with anyway). And I still couldn’t get it.

I ended up having to have my mom sit down and teach me. And even she couldn’t quite explain it right. So she sat me down with my stepsister, who had been in the class the year before and got a good grade in long division. And she didn’t explain it quite right either. And then somehow I had my biological dad try and explain it to me, and I ended up sobbing in frustration at the dinner table past my bedtime because I still couldn’t get it.

And then when all else failed, my mom sat me down with my autistic older brother, who always rambled and gave complex and detailed explanations on everything. He was the one who made it make sense.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you make sense to someone. If you are autistic and have trouble communicating, I promise someone will understand you. Your words will be helpful and appreciated by someone. If you are autistic and you feel like you aren’t a good big sibling, I promise you that you are. Your younger siblings might have had to be a little more self reliant, but you are a good big sibling. You are worth it to someone. And I’m not trying to infantilize you or make it sound like you have any reason to feel useless or like you’re not enough, but my point is you are worth having around. You’re not a burden, you might be a little strange at times but I promise you, you make sense to someone.

[searenbound]

It’s been a while since I sent an ask but I wanted to share these hcs;

Shinso’s biological father being an Eastern European immigrant

Bakugou being aspec abrosexual as in he is in a perpetual state of moving on the asexual spectrum

Kaminari was nefed in power and intelligence so in my head he’s the top student in literature but because he’s failing math, just barely passing science, and all his other subjects he’s a C student

I also think he uses big words in casual conversation and his quirk’s drawback is from a mental block he developed after a traumatic experience with his quirk

Kirishima gains weight to improve his quirk but loses weight after losing it so his weight fluctuates but is still chonky boi that gives good hugs and has big muscles

Jirou went deaf as a child but she uses her jacks as built in hearing aids

Ochako has been volunteering at soup kitchens since she was a little kid and is close to her dad, who experienced homelessness as a teenager

Mina has five brothers and two sisters, lives with her grandmother and single mom aunt who has a toddler her family has been raising all together

Todoroki had bpd before PTSD but they weren’t diagnosed until after the war and the additional trauma caused him to try something drastic but thankfully it actually helped the family get their shit together

Momo lives alone with the butler as her parents are never around and her sister attends/attended military school but she helps momo realize she is being neglected and deserves to decide if she wants to stay involved with their family or take her offer to live together as roommates until one of them moves out

Mitsuki becomes gentler with her son after the war to the point of not wanting him to continue being a hero because she doesn’t want to have to bury her only son

Sero is canonically neighbors with the Yaoyorozus but he has a healthier relationship with his family in that they’re trying their best and he has younger siblings

Tsu doesn’t talk much because she doesn’t want to have to explain her croaks are involuntary because of her tourette’s not her quirk and it’s difficult for her to get people to take her seriously. This also why Bakugo is less rude to her along with her personality of only talking when it’s relevant to the situation or sarcastic comments that he finds funny

He also doesn’t like Izuku’s muttering because 1) he’s worried that he’s plotting something 2) he doesn’t like not being able to hear people in general because it reminds him that his hearing deteriorating. He’s fine with rambling as long as it’s relevant to the situation and he can hear the person speaking

I don’t know if I have anything to add really, I think I agree with pretty much everything you said because it all sounds really interesting

[sansxfuckyou]

What did you just say?

Summary: One of the four Strider brothers accidently says something he assumes he'll regret during dinner.

Warnings: Swearing, dead parent, long distance children, check tags for further warnings.

Authors note: Alpha Dave is referred to as Delta in this fic so I could differ easier while writing it and Dave kind of stims? I guess, I don't really know though, so, let me know in the tags I guess.

He didn't mean to mutter it at dinner, he really didn't, but such words past his lips.

And his three brothers all shared stares in his direction.

"W... What did you just say?" Bro asked, he was the oldest, seventeen, and by far, going through some shit, but despite that he was still trying to be the best oldest brother he could with their father never around and mom dead, he felt like Ness from Earthbound.

"Nothing." Delta responded swiftly, he was the middle child, fifteen, he was hitting a bit of a rough patch with his friends and other relationships in his life, he was still trying to be a good impression on his other siblings despite proper guidance and managing.

"Yeah Delta." Dave started smugly, he was one of the youngest two, thirteen, he was by far in the best condition out of all his family even though he had nothing, no privacy, no life and no friends but the smiling logo on the old dutch ketchup chip bag.

"What did you say?" Dirk added on, he was Daves twin, also thirteen, he was doing ok despite the ever growing burden of an unrequited and a yet to be confessed crush on his good friend Jake, he still managed to keep it cool in front of his friends though, barely.

"I said was going to peg Jesus." Delta answered quietly, his face started to heat up, he was totally grounded for that, he was gonna be thrown out, disowned even!

But none of that.

He heard quaint laughter, those staggering short chuckles he hadn't heard in years. He managed to make Bro laugh, when was the last time that happened?

He didn't have time to dwell on that as both Dave and Dirk where caught in laughter as well, he promptly joined.

It was a short burst of joy between the Striders, their lives full of so much chaos already, it felt so nice. Even though it was so short, it was still amazing, it almost had Bro banging his fist on the table, it had Dirk doing that, Dave thumped his foot a few times. Delta was shocked he could get away with saying that and make his brothers laugh, honestly, double slay.

"Ok, so, Delta, I hope on moms grave you aren't saying that sorta shit at school." Bro said before taking a long relieved breath, his entire form relaxed as well, like months of tension unbound in an instant.

"I promise I'm not, it just kind of, fell out of my mouth, you know, eating Olive Garden, talking BS, couldn't control it." Delta explained, although his explanation wasn't the best, everyone at the table got his point.

"Feel you on that Delta, I end up typing stuff like that all the time to John and Karkat." Dave said, he had to refrain from letting his foot thump again as the moment of laughter had passed.

"Same here, although Gamzees spouting that sort of shit nonstop anyways, so it sorta rubbed off." Dirk stated with a nod.

"Looking over the fact you would peg jesus, lets try and get back to the conversation at hand," Bro said, cracking a small grin when he stated what Delta had proclaimed. "Are any of you failing in any subjects?

"Math." All three younger Striders stated in synchronization, Bro released a long groan as he placed his head in his hands.

"Why couldn't you suck at science or language arts instead?" Bro muttered under his breath.

"I'm just not really getting geometry stuff, whatever that spatial awareness type thing is called, same with Dirk." Dave said, Dirk nodded in agreement.

"Ok, that I can help you with." Bro said before giving a questioning gaze to Delta who tensed.

"Promise you won't ground me, or tell dad?" Delta questioned, reaching for the hem of his hoodie, pinching it between his fingers, stitching was starting to come undone due to years of use.

"I won't." Bro said, his voice sounded lax and he was sincere, everyone could tell by the slight intonation.

"I played hooky throughout all of grade nine with my good friend Rosanne, Rose, whatever you wanna call her, so I learned absolute shit." Delta said, he was speaking swiftly, almost to fast for his brothers to understand, but Bro did, as he had become accustomed to Deltas nervous habits.

"Oh boy, it sure is gonna be fun teaching you grade ten math, and you two, Dirk, Dave, best be prepared to get some facts lodged way up in your pan." Bro said, he internally cringed at calling their heads pans, but, he supposed thats what happens when you spend to much time with trolls.

What a lovely family.

They should get their act together before Bro has to teach Delta how to drive.

[babaenghumayo-blog]

My Dad

One of my biggest influences when it comes to love in music would be my dad. He would always take me to Odyssey when I was young. Odyssey is a shop full of compact discs (CD as we call it) for different artists. I am not sure if they still have shops until now but the one we used to go to in Festival mall already closed a few years back.

I remember my dad will make me listen to songs of Celine Dion and Westlife. Sometimes I will make him buy CDs of the artists I want. One Christmas back in 2009, I bought a CD of Justin Bieber’s very first album with the money I got from Christmas. That’s how popular CDs are before. Nowadays, all songs can be found digitally in either Spotify or Apple Music.

Looking back now, I know my dad has anger issues. He is triggered very easily with small things. I think that’s where I got my short-tempered personality (plus my passive aggressive side from my mom). My dad always think so highly of me since I was a child. Like I was this intelligent girl who knows everything, who can do everything and who can be anything. Well, I’m not. There was this one time when we were watching a Filipino game show “Game KNB?” with my sister and I was able to answer the one-million-worth question. My dad was so proud of me although I can’t really remember where I heard or read that question but I’m sure of the answer to the question. On the contrary, my dad would also criticize me for being bad in Math. In my defense, when I was in first grade, it was so hard for me to understand the logic behind even and odd number. I mean, why do you call them even? And why do you call them odd? So, being forgetful as I am, I can’t seem to memorize even and odd number and failed me in my tests back then, which my dad would be so mad about. But guess what, 20 years later, his daughter is working as an auditor in Europe. What are the odds. :P I mean, my job isn’t all complex Math but still requires a lot of numbers. Not to brag but I can say I am really good with arithmetic. The basic addition, subtraction, multiplication and division I can do faster than others. Maybe because I was trained from spending time being a cashier from our bakery shop before. That’s the advantage of growing up with a family business I guess.

Anyway, going back to my dad. My dad is not getting any younger and is experiencing a lot of different sickness from time to time. He has diabetes, diagnosed with bronchitis and high-blood pressure which of course for sure his kids will inherently have. It is also evident with the lifestyle he has growing up. He smoked since he was 16 until he was diagnosed of Bronchitis when he was 52. He eats a lot. I mean, a lot. That’s why we were all really fat and living the unhealthy life in the late 2000′s. Me and my siblings all hate vegetables until we did fasting and lived the healthy lifestyle in 2020.

I can’t really blame my dad. He grew up in the province living day to day life just to survive and eat. He became an orphan at a very young age with his grandparents taking over of looking out for all 10 of them. He never went to high school and started to work at a young age because of lack of money and support. If my dad will ever have the just to finish his studies until college, I know for sure he will be one of the top of their class.

When him and mom came to Manila to establish their own business, it was a real gamble with their capital and assets all loaned to them by my aunties. It has been a success for the first 10 to 12 years. We were living a comfortable life when we were kids. However, it cannot sustain the demands the family needed when me and my brother went to college. My sister, who just graduated that time has to immediately find a job to help my parents to provide for the family. I remember we would go shop for grocery and only buy noodles, eggs and coffee because that’s what we can all afford, not even meat. That’s how low we got that time. This was between 2013 to 2017, my entire college life.

My dad is the kind of person who will do anything for his family. He doesn’t want anyone from his family to be shamed or taken advantage by anyone else. He will sell all the property he has just to provide for us. As I am writing this, all the flashbacks from the hard times we went through before came back in my memory because of the insufficient money we have. I will see my mom always mad or not in the mood living it through everyday hoping one day the suffering will all end. Well, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel indeed.

My dad is the kind of person who will push you to anything you want to be and support you all the way may it become a pianist, an artist, a doctor, a singer, a pharmacist, an accountant. He will never impose what he wants you to be because he knows it is your own life you are making. He is a tough man, he may have made mistakes and questionable decisions but that’s him being a human incapable of being perfect just like all of us.

[sleepygamerotaku]

long ass vent i don't now what tws to tag it with so read at your risk

sorry for not posting literally all day i over slept this morning and was late to school. In 5th hour i almost strangled a guy and had a panic attack because of him. i have barely eaten all day and i feel overwhelmed by everything at this point my anxiety has been through the roof lately and I have a shit ton of school work that i don't have finished and i have two F's in my classes (math and geography/social studies who would've thought) i genuinely can't remember the last time i decent night of sleep and i feel tired all day but have so much energy when it's nighttime and i could be using this energy to do my school work bUT IT'S NIGHT TIME RIGHT NOW- it's midnight I can't exactly do my school work now it's dark and i can't have my Chromebook on because it's too late i would get in trouble and there isn't enough light to do my paper assignments without using a light and waking everyone up. i have an assignment due TODAY TECHNICALLY AND I CAN'T WORK ON IT DURING CLASS AND IT WILL BE COUNTED MISSING AFTER 9 PM I PROBABLY WON'T BE ABLE TO FINISH IT IN TIME BECAUSE MY BROTHER NEEDS TO HELP ME WITH IT OR I WON'T EVEN GET ANYTHING DONE-

and if that wasn't stressful enough all of the assignments i try to complete end up being half-assed and don't have any effort and because it isn't good enough i have an existential crisis over it because it isn't exactly how i envisioned it. nothing i ever do is sufficient by anyone's standards and nowhere close to my own. i want to shut myself out from everyone and just wallow in my self pity. i feel undeserving of any and all form of attention and at this point i feel like everything would be better off if i burst into flames and never existed to begin with

i hate myself and everything i do and say and think this world is stupid and i only ever find comfort in characters who aren't real and wouldn't even care about me if they where. it's almost the second semester and i'm probably going have three f's because i'm slowly failing science too

it's not just my school work either. i used to love writing for people i have so many fanfics that aren't anywhere close to being done i haven't been able to complete my drawings in months my mom is constantly wanting me to draw her things but i never get to them and i just never have the energy to do anything anymore

my mod and dad fought so much and now their getting a divorce soon so I'll be stuck with my mom who I don't feel entirely safe with but it wouldn't be any better with my dad because hed been getting physically and verbally violent not only to my mom but me and my brother too. my brother pisses me off and i wish i could run away i'm tired of witnessing my familys constent bickering i haven't spoke with my dad in months either and i'm scared he's just going to suddenly show up again

i've been struggling to be active and i feel like i'm only gaining weight that i'm trying to lose. i don't want to eat anymore and at this point my stretch marks are mocking me. my thighs are fat and ugly and my chest is too big. my cheeks are too chubby my freckles look stupid and i'm sick of seeing nothing but eyebags and acne and ugliness when i look in the mirror i'm just so tired of everything

i don't want to admit it but i need help with everything but i just can't seem to find the strength to ask for it. it just seems like everything is falling apart all around me and i don't know what to do anymore

[inimoo]

Operation Eradicate the Homoerotic Energy Between our Dads

based off of @avalynok's tiktok

charlie emily is alive and well but her twin brother sammy unfortunately got nerfed in her place so too bad for him

michael and charlie are absolute besties

michael is absolutely mortified by the nicknames william has for henry

Summary: Michael overhears his father calling Uncle Henry 'babygirl' and is mortified to a point where he enlists the help of his best friend Charlie to attempt to eradicate all forms of sexually charged tension between their dads.

In hindsight, they probably should've just let them makeout.

Chapter 1 - The Phone Call Chapter 2 - Sam, Henry, Clara, and William Chapter 3 - Aunt Jen's Letters Chapter 4 - Caught in the Act Chapter 5 - Graduation Chapter 6 - Planes and Cars Chapter 7 - Wrinkled Polaroids Chapter 8 - "I'll have your babies Charlie. Platonically." Chapter 9 - A Tree Room Chapter 10 - Blueprints from 1968 Chapter 11 - Samantha Adeline Rogers

It starts with a phone call.

Nobody really calls the home phone - her dad’s work phone on the other hand is constantly bombarded with hundreds of calls every week to the point where even staying in the office for more than an hour would drive her crazy. But the home phone? It’s a rare sighting.

Charlie’s sitting at the dinner table, her legs propped up onto the wooden table, her math textbook about maybe two inches away from her face as she put all her dedication into not failing the final math test of the year. She was a good student - and she had to beat Michael (who, for someone who claimed he didn’t care for school at all, was surprisingly good at math). Unfortunately, she sucks at math which just makes her desire to get a good grade more intense.

Her concentration was cut off by the sudden ring like a knife and she almost flinched at the sound after being enveloped in silence for the better part of two hours. Her dad was at the pizzeria and had (for the first time in what felt like forever) let her stay at home unattended. Charlie looks up with a sigh and swings her feet off the table one at a time before se

tting the book down upside down and making her way to the blaring telephone.

‘Seriously, why is this thing so loud?’

She picks it up and lays it against her ear and shoulder. “Hello?”

“Charlie, I need to tell you something!” The voice is a hundred times louder than the infernal ringing; she winces and holds the phone away from her poor ear. “Woah, woah, woah, why are you yelling?”

It’s Michael. He’s always yelling.

“Sorry.” he apologizes quickly, he doesn’t sound like he means it though. “But listen listen listen - Babygirl.”

“You are not calling me babygirl.” she states, honestly a bit offended at the proposition as she leans against the flower-patterned wallpaper of her living room. “If you’re flirting with me you suck ass at it.”

“No I’m not flirting with you! He’s calling your dad babygirl!”

Her nose scrunches up. “What? Who’s calling my dad baby girl?” She doesn’t really want to know who’s flirting with her dad by calling him babygirl of all things but she’s also quite nosy when it comes to anyone’s love life.

“My dad!” Michael exclaims and she can almost hear him waving his arms around to emphasize the point even though they couldn’t see each other.

“No he’s not!” Charlie says in an attempt to defend the two. She crosses his arms and brushes her brown hair out of her face with her fingers. Michael tries to deny her defence but she cuts him off. “No he’s not! He calls him darling , at least he’s respectable.”

“I’m telling you Charlie they’re going to start making out one day if we don’t do something about it.”

She rolls her eyes. “Oh come on, it’s not like they’re in love with each other. They just have a bit of an… intimate friendship. She’s lying, she doesn’t even believe herself. “Plus, your dad’s still sad about your mom.”

“Yeah but it's been 8 years since she died and mother never cared about him and Uncle Henry. She thought it was funny! ” On the other side of the line, Michael's mouth twists and shakes his head. “You need to help me Charlie, it'd be so embarrassing if you were my sister.”

“Hey!” she says with a hand to her heart as she frowns, “I would be a great sister.”

“No you wouldn’t.”

“How can I be friends with someone who thinks so lowly of me.”

“If you were my sister then we won’t be able to carry out our plan of faking a marriage when we’re older if we’re both single.” Michael says simply, reminding her of the scheme the two of them made at the bright age of six years old. If she was being honest Michael was much more worried about being single than she was but then again, if she was going to marry someone her best bet was him. The other boys she knew were… an interesting bunch.

“Right.” Charlie sighs, “But they won’t fall in love. Your dad’s not like tha- Wait!” she gasps as a thought suddenly strikes her, “Your friends told me yesterday that your dad was hot.”

Michael groans when she mentions them. “Please don’t remind me.”

“Oh come on it can’t be that bad.” Charlie laughs.

He audibly rolls his eyes. “God I wish it wasn’t that bad.”

“My friends came over for like, ten minutes. Nothing too bad, right? No! Because father’s at home and he’s making lunch and when they saw him-” She hears him gag on the other side of the line. “They started to act all nice - which, one: that’s a total act. And then they start talking to him and she starts talking to them and I leave for two seconds and then a minute later they come into my room and tell me that Father’s smoking hot’.”

Charlie scoffs the ghost of a laugh. Then she cackles into the phone with the force of a live audience reacting to Jerry Seinfeld’s best performance. Michael tells her to shut up.

“It really isn’t that funny.” he says with a tired voice as her laughter turns into small giggles that she covers with her hand.

“No, it's actually hilarious.”

“You weren’t there - they kept asking me how old he was like they were even allowed to look at him like that.”

“I’m truly sorry for you.” Charlie lies.

“I hate you.”

“Don’t talk to your future wife like that.” she says.

“Possible future wife.” he corrects her like it would change her behaviour. “We have until we’re thirty.”

“Yeah and you’re so undesirable that it’s unfortunately the destiny I’m fated to.” she tells him.

Michael gasps in indignation and she’s sent into another laughing fit. “I’m plenty desirable excuse you.”“No you’re not.” Charlie says like it’s the most obvious thing on Earth. “You’re demon spawn - I feel bad for your future girlfriend.”

“That’s literally you!” He sounds like a fifth grader that got rejected by their crush which only makes her desire to tease him stronger.

“I’m your future wife Michael,” Charlie twirls the cord around her finger absentmindedly as she grinned. “Not your girlfriend.”

“If we need to get married then we need to fake date too.” Michael tells her, suddenly quite a bit serious. He always put a lot of thought into their plan that they made on one particularly boring day on the playground in first grade recess. “People would get suspicious if we just decided to elope randomly.”

“Plenty of people do that.”

“No they don’t.” Michael denied, crossing his arms as his brows scrunched. “Name one person.”

“Mr and Mrs. Willowheimer.” Charlie answers simply.

“Care to enlighten me on who the hell they are?”

Charlie rolled her eyes. “You would know if you actually paid attention to the visitors at the pizzeria.”

“Are you telling me you actually listen to whoever comes to that place?”

“This is why I’m a better employee than you.” Charlie says.

“Literally shut the fuck up.” he laughs into the phone and she laughs back at the sound. He has a nice laugh, it’s smooth and higher than his normal voice. There’s no rasp though unlike his dad’s which she likes. His dad’s was a little unsettling. She liked Michael’s though.

“I’m coming over.” he informs her when he calms down enough to speak again but the hint of a snicker pulled at the edge of the sentence.

“Oh yeah?” she chuckles. “I’m home alone. Dad’s not here.”

“Really?” he asks, his voice low and mysterious and she has to fight back enough fit of hysterics.

They do this every time the other’s alone. They’ve acted it out since the moment they were deemed old enough to watch the movie their dads would watch late at night when their kids were sleeping. Obviously it wasn’t anything explicit, but to two thirteen-year-olds, reenacting suggestive TV-14 voice lines was the height of all comedy. To Charlie and Michael at the age of seventeen, it was still fucking hilarious.

“Yeah.” she says into the phone, her voice rising an octave higher and going soft, her eyebrows wiggle. “You can even come into my room.”

“Uh-huh?” he breathes, “And then what?”

“You can find out if you’re so curious.”

There’s a silence between the two of them for a grand total of five seconds before they both burst into laughter for what was probably the third time in the entirety of their 6-minute conversation. Her breath was running away from her and it was getting harder to get back, her lungs squeezed as she leaned against the war sliding down until the cord forced her to get up again.

“Okay I’m gonna come over now.” Michael tells her after a moment.

“Want me to time you?” she offers.

“Obviously.” he replies in an instant. “What’s my high-score?”

“45 seconds.” Charlie answers, “I’ll bet five dollars that you won’t beat it this time.”

“Is that a promise?”

“I’m a woman of my word Mike.”

“Then I’ll be on my way to get my five dollars.”

She snorts, “I’d like to see you try.”

Charlie’s quite sad to see her five dollars go but he promises to take her to the arcade so it balances out quite nicely.

-

The pizzeria is always full and it drives Michael crazy. Because he works there and his dad’s one of the owners, everyone expects him to be a pro at everything to do with the place. He isn’t. In fact, he’s quite the opposite and hates the job with his entire soul and being. There isn’t one thing he despises more than working with tiny screaming children and annoying parents. Really, the only reason that he works there is that his father probably wouldn’t let him quit if he tried and he could share his suffering with Charlie.

Charlie loves the job and is a much better employee than him (he always denies it but he knows its true). It goes hand in hand with her strange and deep love for small screaming children. Maybe it’s because the small screaming children are also desperately crushing on her if they don’t think of her as their newest addition to the family. It’s kind of embarrassing to watch, honestly. Watching insanely brave seven-year-olds get their heart broken by someone a decade older than them made him feel a little bad.

William’s punishments at work are more on the tame side. If he catches Michael slacking off he’s banned from getting pizza for the day which is pretty evil since the pizza they served was heaven in the form of a perfectly greasy, cheesy triangular slice. It’s no surprise the place is so successful. Michael’s biggest weakness was any form of dairy - he may be slightly lactose intolerant but his love will never waver.

They’re technically off-duty but the kids force Charlie to stay back with their big dumb pleading eyes that make her face melt and a smile spreads across her face as she bends down to pinch their cheeks and tell them that she’ll stay with them for as long as they want. In extension to this, a very annoyed Michael now has to stay behind and sit down on chairs meant for people ten years younger than him while his annoyingly long legs lay uncomfortably under the tiny table barely giving Charlie any space for her own.

The pizza’s really good though, so he doesn’t complain.

“So,” Charlie starts taking a bite out of her favourite type of pizza (hawaiian, which happens to be his least favourite) “Do you have a plan for this or are we working with nothing here.”

“I am so glad you asked,” Michael says with a grin and unzips his backpack that he’s had since fourth grade and pulls out a frayed journal that looks older than either of their existences, “I found this in my dad’s office.”

Charlie eyed it curiously in his hands, “I thought you weren’t allowed in there.”

“Yeah but drastic situations call for drastic measures.” he says simply and she nods in agreement.

“What’s the book for though?”

Michael’s lips press together and he meets her earthy green eyes with an earnest look. “I think my dad’s gay.”

Silence. Michael thinks she might even say something serious.

The corners of her lips extend in a small battle between her and the obvious laughter that threatened to spill from her. She covered her mouth to hide the giggles that escaped her mouth. Michael rolled his eyes in exasperation.

“I’m sorry.” she apologizes, turning away.

“Yeah of course you are.” he rolls his eyes.

“No, no,” Charlie sits up again, her mouth twitching a bit as she meets his eyes but eventually she manages an almost calm expression, “Tell me more.”

Michael squints at her for a second before he opens the journal to a specific page and points at the entry. “Journal entries from when he was in college.”

Charlie tilts her head as her eyes scroll down the paper. It was definitely William’s handwriting - it sounded like him too.

“Oh,“ Charlie frowns in disbelief, “ Well that’s certainly… interesting.”

“Uh-huh,” Michael nods sarcastically, “Interesting.”

“They could still be just really…” she cringes, “ close friends.”

“Yeah because close friends write about how godlike the other is.”

Charlie snorts. “Yeah yeah okay, I’ll help you.”

“Thank you,” he sighs and places his hands on the table, his face suddenly turning quite serious. Charlie was slightly surprised about how much it mattered to him.

“You got a plan?” she inquires, leaning her chin against the palm of her hand.

“We need to find the root of their weird… intimacy.”

Charlie nods slowly, “And that would start back when they first met in college.”

Michael smiles with a dark expression, eerily similar to his father’s. This usually happens when he has a terrible idea. “You know,” he starts, “I’ve always wanted to visit an abandoned building.”

Ironically, this would later prove to be a very bad idea. So she was right on that part.

ao3

[study-coffee-chicago]

Stupid Game (A Halstead brothers + Halstead! sister imagine)

If you've read Someone I Used to Know by Patty Blount, you'll understand where I drew the inspiration from. Warning: includes sexual harassment and threats of sexual assault.

Fifteen days. Fifteen days left of this stupid and terrifying game. You could get through fifteen more days of their stupid game, after all, you were already halfway through. But, seeing as it was halfway done, they'd start to get more desperate. You needed something on you, anything. Pepperspray, mace, a knife, a razor blade--

"Y/N," you were snapped out of your thoughts by your brother, Jay, saying your name. "What are you doing up? I thought you had online first block today?" he asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee and grabbed a box of cereal from the cupboard.

"I do," you answered, stirring the peanut butter into your oatmeal once more. "Just wanted to get up and get some math homework done," you lied.

"You didn't do it last night?" Jay asked, raising an eyebrow at you as he sat down across from you.

"I know, I should've done it. But I was frustrated that I couldn't figure it out and figured maybe looking at it in the morning with fresh eyes would help."

"Fair enough."

"You're not mad I procrastinated?" That was one thing both he and Will agreed on when it came to you and school: procrastinating and not getting your assignments done was unacceptable. They said they didn't care about grades as long as you didn't fail-- and you weren't, you were getting all A's and B's-- but they did care about you trying your absolute best.

Jay shook his head. "No, sounds like you got it all figured out." He looked at his watch. "I gotta go. I'm gonna be late. See you when I get home."

Jay stood up and put his bowl and mug into the dishwasher. "Will you be home for dinner?" you asked...which was really code for if he was going to cook or if you were fending for yourself.

"I don't know. We don't have an ongoing case, so depends on today's case." You opened your mouth to ask if you could order takeout when he stopped you. "And, yes, you can get takeout. I just expect the receipt and change."

"I know, I know. Now, go save Chicago," you said, shooing him out the door.

"It's a team effort," he replied.

"Yeah, yeah. Say hi to Hailey for me."

"Will do!" he yelled to you over his shoulder.

You waited another five minutes until you knew that Jay wasn't coming back before starting your mission. You went into Jay's room and opened his closet. After peering at all the shelves, you had almost given up, when a piece of cardboard on the top shelf caught your eye.

"Gonna need a chair for this," you mumbled and then made your way back into the kitchen and dragged a chair into Jay's room.

After moving a few things, you pulled the box down and set it on the floor. "What are you hiding in here, Jay?" you asked yourself, having never seen this box. You knew it was Jay's though because J. Halstead was written on the side in black permanent marker.

Slowly, you opened the box, as if scared something was going to jump out at you or Jay was miraculously going to appear and tell you not to open it. But, neither of those two things happened.

"Holy shit," you muttered as you opened the box. You thought this stuff was stored away in a storage locker, but it was here all along.

Inside the box was Jay's military uniform, all folded up, along with his dog tags and a few pictures from his time overseas. You felt like you were looking at one of Jay's most intimate secrets, just by looking at this stuff. You wondered who in those pictures came home and who didn't. There was also a small leather journal, and tied to the side of it was a knife.

You picked up the journal and untied the knife from it. You'd be lying if you said that opening the journal and reading it hadn't crossed your mind. But, you viewed your brother as a war hero, and if there was anything in there that would change that view, you didn't want to know. You also knew he had seen some horrific things over there, not that he had ever given you any specific details on the missions, you just knew because of how hard some cases hit him, especially kid cases.

So, you placed everything back into the box just like you found it and put it back on the shelf. Except for the knife, that you kept.

It felt heavy in your hands. The red handle was faded, probably from all the sand that had rubbed against it overseas. You ran a finger over the blade, a little dull from not being sharpened in all these years.

You jumped as your phone alarm went off, alerting you that you had half an hour before you had to leave. You turned it off and placed the knife in your pocket. Then, you dragged the chair back to the kitchen and continued to get ready for school, the extra protection you now had would make you feel more protected for these next fifteen days, that you were sure of.

With the knife safely placed in your backpack half an hour later, you headed off to school.

***

Jay furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at his phone. Your school was calling him, which was odd. The only reason he thought that they'd be calling was that you didn't show up, you weren't a troublemaker like he was when he was in high school. The stakes were higher now, so you couldn't afford to mess up.

"Sarge, I gotta take this. It's Y/N's school," he said and then proceeded to walk to an interrogation room for some privacy in case the call was serious.

"Jay Halstead," Jay said as he answered.

"Mr. Halstead this is Ben White, principal of Central Chicago High School. I have Y/N in my office right now and I would appreciate it if you could come down here."

"Is she in trouble?" Jay asked, knowing if it were anything other than that, he would have told him.

There was a pause on the other end of the line as the principal tried to figure out what to say. "Somewhat. I'll explain more in person."

"Okay, thank you. I'll be there in twenty minutes."

He hung up the phone and exited the interrogation room and went back into the bullpen to grab his keys and coat.

"Everything okay?" Voight asked.

"Not really. Y/N got in trouble at school, so I gotta go talk to her principal."

"What'd she do?" Kevin asked.

"Don't know yet, said he'll explain when I get there."

"Just don't be too hard on her. She's a good kid, Jay."

"I know, which is why I'm shocked that she's in trouble at all."

Hailey placed a hand on his shoulder. "Just call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay."

***

When Jay walked into the principal's office, it was just like he remembered it from when he was in trouble in high school. Most of his were for a few fistfights at lunch or just not doing his homework. Hell, when he looked at you, you were in the same position he was always in whenever your guys' mom or dad had to come to pick him up: hands in your lap, head down, and eyes trained on the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"Mr. Halstead, take a seat," Mr. White motioned for him to sit in the other empty seat facing his desk.

"Please, call me Jay. Mr. Halstead's my father. Now, what's this about?" he asked, looking between you and the principal to see which one of you would be the one to tell him.

"Well, as you know we have a very strict no-weapons policy at the school. And, well, your sister, this fell out of her locker."

At this, you looked up, wanting to gauge Jay's reaction. Something flashed across his eyes for a moment, and then anger took over a few seconds later. "A knife? Really? And my Ranger's knife at that?"

"I'm sorry," you mumbled. But, you couldn't tell him what was going on. After all, it's not like the school would do anything about it, which wasn't for lack of trying because oh people had tried alright.

Jay took a deep breath, not wanting to blow up at you in front of anyone. "Why do you even have it?"

When you didn't answer him, he turned to your principal. "She said that she was snooping through your stuff, and she found the knife, thought it was cool, and wanted to show it to her friends."

Now, snooping, Jay could see. But showing a knife to your friends? Even having a remote interest in any type of weapon? Well, that just wasn't you and you both knew that. But, he knew you wouldn't tell him the real reason unless you were alone, even then it was a long shot.

"I see," Jay nodded. "Let's not beat around the bush here. What kind of trouble is she in?"

"Well, typically we have to call the cops on this type of stuff, but I figured since you were a cop, that this would do. Typically, there's also a three to five day suspension that comes with these things, but seeing everything she's gone through in the past years and that she has outstanding grades and never has even had a detention, I'm going to let her off with a warning. She just has to go home for the rest of the day," Mr. White answered.

"And this won't be on her record?" Jay asked.

"This won't be on her record," Mr. White confirmed.

"What do you say, Y/N?" Jay asked.

"I'm sorry," you apologized, looking up once again.

"And?"

"And it won't happen again." Jay cleared his throat, telling you that you forgot something. "Sir," you added quickly.

It was always something your dad had taught Jay and Will when they got in trouble, that they had to use either sir or ma'am in the apology. Up until today, you never had to use it, but here you were. There's a first time for everything.

"I'm sure it won't," Mr. White said.

"I'm gonna go get my stuff," you said to Jay before leaving the principal's office.

Jay rubbed a hand down his face and sighed. Then, he turned back to Ben White. "I'm really sorry about this. I don't know why she'd do anything like this. This isn't like her--"

"Jay, she's been through a lot," he sympathized. "She's probably just acting out. Every teenager goes through that. We both know you did."

Mr. White was a young teacher back when Jay and Will were in high school, and he got to see some of Jay's fights first hand. He even had to rip him off a kid once in the cafeteria.

"Hey, they were always for good reasons...And, I always won."

"Now that you're not a student anymore, I can agree with that statement." He heard the door to the main office open. "Just, don't be too hard on her, okay?"

Jay nodded and stood up and left the office. Now he had to deal with his sister and try to figure out what was actually the real cause of this.

***

You started to run up the stairs but were stopped quickly by Jay's stern voice. "No, come back down here. We're going to talk about this."

You sighed, knowing you were going to be in deep shit from him since you got nothing from the school. You handed him your phone, but surprisingly, he handed it back to you.

"I get to keep my phone?"

"You do, but that's only because I'm letting you drive to and from school and that's it. You go to school and you come straight home. No stopping for coffee, donuts, fries, nothing. I need you to have your phone on you in case you get in an accident." You nodded, knowing his logic was sound.

"How long?"

"Three weeks."

"Jay! But homecoming's in two and a half! And I'm going dress shopping with Emma this weekend!"

"Should've thought of that before you brought a knife to school, my military knife at that. Why were you looking through my stuff anyway?"

"Just curious, I guess." It was a lie and you both knew it.

"That's not the truth. What's going on? Come on, you know you can tell me."

Not this I can't. But, you didn't say that. "That is the truth, Jay. Now, how am I going to get my homecoming dress?"

"You don't need a dress if you're not going to the dance."

"You can't keep this from me--"

"Yes, yes I can. If it was detention for tardies or a failed test or hell, even a fight, this wouldn't be happening. But you brought a knife to school. Not only is that against school rules, but it's against the law. What you did was illegal, Y/N."

"I know and I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it this time, not with this. But, if you want to get a dress and go to the dance, maybe doing some extra chores can get you that."

"So, I don't have to tell Emma I can't come this weekend?" you asked, hopefully.

"Not what I said. You still can't go with Emma. If you earn back that privilege, Hailey can take you."

"But, Jay--"

"No buts. I put the offer on the table and I can just as easily take it off."

"Uh, fine."

"Now, I know you have classwork from the classes you missed today, so get to it. And, don't think I won't be telling Will about this."

***

You jolted awake from your sleep. Must've just been a nightmare, you thought. A really loud nightmare.

"You bastard!" you heard Jay yell.

Okay, so not a nightmare.

"Get away from him!"

Him? Who else was in the house besides you and Jay?

If it was serious, you knew Jay would have come to wake you up to get you out of the house or yelled your name by now. Slowly, you stood up and grabbed your phone. Then, you exited your room and walked across the hall to Jay's.

You heard more yelling and tossing and turning as you stood outside his door. After taking a deep breath, you slowly turned the knob and walked into his room.

When you saw the way Jay looked, you instantly knew what this was. "Let him go and no one gets hurt!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

Jay turned towards you as if he had heard a noise in his nightmare which caused him to abruptly turn. His eyes were moving rapidly beneath his eyelids and his face was dripping sweat.

Luckily, he started to calm down. His breathing started to slow and he hadn't yelled for over a minute.

"Jay," you whispered, taking a step closer to him. "Jay. Jay Halstead," you repeated, this time a little louder.

Nothing. You took a risk and touched his shoulder. "Bastard!" he yelled, throwing a punch which caused you to jump back, his fist narrowly missing your face.

Now it was his as well as your breathing that was coming out jagged.

You couldn't wake him up. You couldn't risk touching him again.

Jay yelled out again, causing you to jump and run out of his room.

You pulled out your phone and dialed the familiar number, hoping that he hadn't gotten called into work.

"Hmmm, hello?" your oldest brother's voice came through your phone, thick with sleep.

"Will, I need you. Please come over."

"Y/N? What's wrong?" He immediately sat up in bed upon hearing the worry in your voice.

"Jay's he's having a nightmare and I can't wake him up and--"

Yelling could be heard in the background and Will cut you off. "Is that him?"

"Yeah." The next part, you said quieter. You knew it wasn't Jay's fault this was happening, but it didn't make your feelings any less valid. "Will, I'm scared."

You heard a door close on Will's end. "It's okay. I don't think he's ever sleep-walked from a nightmare. Just, whatever you do, do not touch him. Understand?"

"Yes." More screaming. "Please, just hurry."

You don't know how you got through those fifteen minutes without completely breaking down. And, in those fifteen minutes, it had gone from yelling to hearing a few things slam to the ground. You assumed it was just things on Jay's bedside table, like his alarm clock, water bottle, and phone that had fallen from him trying to throw punches every which way, but you were too scared to check. What if he was up and standing and could throw things at you? You couldn't do that.

The sight Will saw when he unlocked the door and walked into the house completely broke his heart. You were sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket with your feet tucked under you, and silent tears were streaming down your face. If Will hadn't known any better, he would have thought you were making yourself as small as possible as if to disappear.

Will knelt down in front of you so that he was at eye level with you. "Hey, has it gotten worse?" You didn't look at him and that was all the confirmation Will needed.

You let out a deep shaky sob, finally feeling like it was safe for you to make noise again. Will took that opportunity to envelop you in a hug. "It's okay. It's okay. He can't hurt you. It's not him that's doing this. He doesn't know he's home."

"I know he thinks he's in Afghanistan, but he, Will, he almost, if I didn't..." you trailed off, not knowing how to tell your brother that Jay had almost hit you.

"What did he almost do, Y/N? You know he'll want all the details when he wakes up, so just tell me. I promise I won't be mad at him."

You took a deep breath. "He almost hit me, Will. I touched his shoulder and he just swung and--"

"Did I or did I not tell you not to touch him?"

"This was before I called you."

There was another crash and you whimpered. Will gave you one last squeeze and stood up. "Whatever you do, do not follow me, Y/N. I don't want you to see this."

You nodded and tugged your blanket tighter around you as if that was even possible.

The ice was melting in Will's hands as he walked towards Jay's bedroom. He could hear yelling, well, they were more like loud sobs at this point. The floor next to his bed was covered in things that fell from his bedside table: his alarm clock, water bottle, phone, the lamp...which luckily hadn't been on and the bulb hadn't broken.

"Now or never," Will muttered to himself as he stepped towards his younger brother. Then, he flung the ice out in front of him, causing it to land on Jay, and jumped back as fast as possible.

"You bastard! Fuck!" Jay's eyes shot open, drinking in his surroundings.

"Jay," Will said, quietly alerting his brother of his presence before placing his hand on his shoulder. "You're home, in Chicago, you're safe." Noticing that Jay's breathing hadn't yet slowed, Will overexaggerated his inhales and exhales. "Breathe with me. In...Out...In...Out...Good..." And so they continued that until Jay no longer needed Will to guide him through his breathing.

"What happened?" he asked, looking to where his things were strewn on the floor.

"Y/N called me. You were screaming and she tried to wake you up, but couldn't."

Jay's eyes widened. "Oh, God. I didn't...Please tell me I didn't hurt her, Will."

"No, but you did come close. She said she touched your shoulder and you just swung. She jumped out the way, though."

"Oh, God. I almost hit her, Will. Fuck. I'm a horrible brother."

Will sat done next to his brother, despite his sheets being all sweaty. "You are not a horrible brother, far from it. She knows it wasn't you that was doing this. Your mind was somewhere else. Now, do you wanna tell me what happened?"

"It was, it was all because of that damn knife. I don't know why I even kept it in the first place, Will."

"You kept telling someone to let go of him and called someone a bastard. Who?"

"I- There was this kid. His dad was gonna kill him and put a gun to his head. I tried, but I couldn't, I couldn't..." Jay let out a strangled sob and wiped the tears that ran down his face.

Will started to run a hand up and down his back, something he learned long ago that soothed Jay after nights like these. "And the knife?"

"I used that to kill the boy's father. I should have just gotten rid of it when I had the chance."

"Jay, I'm sorry all of this got dug up."

"Yeah, me too. I'm not proud of the man I was back then. I thought I was over this."

"It's okay to fall apart sometimes."

Jay nodded, even though he hated when it happened because the bigger they are, the harder they fall. He bottles up all his emotions that when he finally falls apart, he explodes.

"I think Y/N would want to know you're okay," Will suggested.

You were still in the same position you had been in when Will left you when you heard footsteps approaching you and looked up. Jay's eyes were bloodshot and it was clear as day that he had been crying. You felt the couch dip as Jay sat next to you.

"I'm sorry," Jay said. Slowly, as if not to scare you, he wrapped an arm around your blanket-covered body.

"You scared me," you whispered.

"I know. Will told me. I'm so sorry." He scanned your face, making sure that Will wasn't lying to him when he had told him that he hadn't hit you. "I just need you to know that what you saw, that wasn't me, Y/N. It was my mind bringing me back to a very dark place. I would never, ever, ever knowingly scream at you like that or lay a hand on you."

"I know. You didn't even yell that bad with everything that happened at school today. But, it's all my fault."

"Y/N, look at me." You looked up, your eyes red-rimmed from all the crying. "None of this is your fault. Yes, seeing that knife triggered me. But, I could've just as easily seen it if the box fell over and the knife fell out."

You knew what he was getting at. He was trying to assure you that you and the knife were not what triggered him. It was the knife and the knife only.

"Can Will spend the night?" you asked, knowing that if it happened again, you wouldn't be alone when dealing with it.

"Of course. Now, go back to bed. You've got school tomorrow."

You nodded and stood up, knowing he was right. It was currently 3:30 in the morning and you had been up for an hour and a half and you needed to be awake by 6:00. And, you knew that you needed your focus to be razor sharp at school now that you didn't have any protection.

"Goodnight. I love you guys."

***

The weekend had come and gone and now it was Monday. As much as you hated Mondays, the ones before homecoming were becoming increasingly worse. Everything was fine until you had walked out of school, keys in hand.

"What the fuck?" you yelled as you were slammed into the side of your car, your cheek hitting the window hard.

Then, you felt a hand squeeze your butt. "Fifty points," he whispered in your ear.

Tears sprung to your eyes as you felt his hand reach for your keys. "Get the fuck away from her, Evans!"

Then, you felt him being ripped off of you, by none other than Jordan Atwater.

"Whatever," Derek Evans grumbled as he shrugged Jordan's hands off him. "I got fifty points and she just went from 200 to 250 for the rest of it." Then, he walked away and Jordan was quickly at your side.

"Are you okay?"

"No," you sniffled.

"Here, let me take you home, and then we can tell Kevin and Jay and they can come get your car."

"No! They can't know about this Jordan and you know that!"

"Y/N, he just did that forcibly and they just increased the point value for..." he trailed off, not wanting to say the disgusting words.

"Jordan, I'm fine. I can handle this."

"Fucking hell, Y/N. Do you know what I heard rumors about in the locker room?" You shook your head, not wanting to know at all, but knowing Jordan would tell you anyway. "He was planning on taking your keys so that you'd have to go with him. Some other guys were planning on following you home tomorrow."

"I can't- I don't know what to do, Jordan. It used to just be a stupid game, but now it's this and- fuck."

"I know, I know. Listen, how about I check on you after practice to make sure no one comes over?"

"Jay grounded me. I'll just get in more trouble if you come over."

"What'd you do?"

"Just something stupid," you answered. You knew that if you told him about the knife, he would most definitely tell Kevin.

He raised an eyebrow at you, but let your lie slide. "You're telling Jay tonight or so help me God, I am telling Kevin tomorrow before school."

"Can I just come over to your house?" you muttered.

Somehow, he heard you. "I thought you said Jay would be mad at you?"

"Then we can tell Kev and if Kev knows first, he can tell Jay because I don't want to be the one to tell him. He'll freak."

"Yeah. Tell you what? I'll pick you up at your house right after practice and then we can go to mine."

"Thanks for having my back, Jordan."

"Hey, that's what friends are for."

***

Jordan sucked in a breath as his phone dinged, alerting him that someone else had posted something on that stupid leaderboard for that stupid game.

"Aren't you gonna get that?" you asked as you sat next to him on the couch, assuming it was a text message notification.

"It's, uh, it's not important."

"If it's a text it's probably important."

Before Jordan even had time to react, you snatched the phone from the table in front of him. But, you quickly regretted your decision as your face paled and tears sprang to your eyes.

"Are they- are they all saying these things about me?" you asked, barely above a whisper as you handed Jordan his phone.

His eyes quickly skimmed the comment on the leaderboard in front of him and he sighed. "I mean, they've said some pretty horrible things, but this is up there with the most disgusting."

"What's most disgusting?" Kevin asked as he walked inside to see you two sitting on the couch, Jordan trying to keep his phone away from you despite you having already seen the comment. "Wait, aren't you grounded, Y/N?"

"Does Jay tell all my business to Intelligence?" you grumbled.

Kevin shrugged as he hung up his jacket. "Pretty much. But really, wat'cha doing here?"

You and Jordan shared a look that didn't go unnoticed by Kevin. "What's going on?"

***

"So you wanted to talk to me first so that I could help you break the news to Jay?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah," you mumbled, shocked by you hadn't broken down yet. It was probably just because you were scared to tell Jay, scared of how he would react to people who were doing this, and scared of how he would react to you not having told him until now.

"Let me call him. I think he still had to finish up some paperwork, so maybe he hasn't noticed that you're gone yet."

Kevin walked away to go talk to Jay in private and Jordan went to the kitchen to grab you both some water. Absentmindedly, you ran your fingers over your cheek, not doubting that there would be a bruise there tomorrow due to how hard Derek shoved you up against your car.

"Need some ice?" Kevin asked, having reentered.

"I'm fine," you quickly said, knowing that Jay and Will would be babying you about your face anyway.

"If you say so."

Jordan returned with the water and slid one to you. "Jay mad?" he asked his older brother.

"I mean, I told him Y/N was over here and that she has something to tell him and to not get mad at her."

"Great, that helps a lot," you replied sarcastically.

"I also told him we might have a case."

"Okay, so he knows it's bad then. I just don't wanna blow this out of proportion--"

"Girl, blow this outta proportion?" Jordan interrupted. "They're planning on assaulting you! I think you can blow this up however much you want!"

"I just don't wanna be the one to start this conversation," you admitted.

"We gotchu, girl, we gotchu," Kevin reassured you.

***

"You better have a good reason why you left the house-- without telling me I might add-- when you're grounded!" That was the first thing Jay yelled as Kevin let him into the house.

"Whoa, calm down, man. She's got a good reason to be here--"

"A good reason? A good reason being that she wanted to hang out with Jordan when I clearly stated that she was to come straight home after school!"

Roughly, he pulled a chair out from under the table to sit down across from you. You stayed staring at the wood of the table, not wanting to look him in the eye. "You have a good reason, Y/N?" he asked smugly. "Then look me in the eye and tell me that reason."

Jordan squeezed your shoulder in reassurance, which gave you the bit of confidence you needed to look your brother in the eyes. "I- there's these points and I was pushed and..." you ran your hands down your face in frustration, trying to stop your tears. "I can't do this."

"Is that a bruise forming on your cheek?" Jay asked as you removed your hands from your face, his eyes immediately softening. You nodded. "Care to elaborate?"

"A football player shoved me up against my car and then he- and then he grabbed my ass."

"Does this football player have a name?" he asked, looking to Jordan because he was on the football team.

"He does, but there's more and I'm gonna tell you that first because I don't think Y/N wants to."

"Thank you," you whispered to Jordan.

"So it's more than just a stupid kid playing grab-ass with my sister?" Jay asked, anger starting to seep out once more.

"There's point values attached to each grab," Jordan started. "Grab a girl, it's usually 50 points. Do some other things with her, there's more depending on what it is. Freshmen are strictly off-limits, so it's Y/N's first year dealing with it."

"How long has it been going on?"

"I think the game started totally five years ago. It happens for a month leading up to homecoming. Anyone on the varsity football team pays $10 to play, and whoever has the most points at the end of the month gets the money.

"And this year, they started a leaderboard online, where you can vote on doing different things. If it gets enough votes, it's up for grabs for points. And well, just take a look."

Jordan slid his open phone to Jay and he scrolled through the website, complete with a leaderboard. He looked at the most recent comments and scrolled to the beginning of the thread.

200 points if you can get the cop's sister to give you oral

Jay swallowed a lump in his throat as he read the title and continued to scroll.

100 for the actual act and another 100 if you get it on video

Deal

Deal

Definitely

Just don't get caught

She's small so it shouldn't be that hard

Think she had a crush on me last year, so this should be a piece of cake. Pay up boys

You're on, Evans

Then, he got to the comments after today's events had occurred.

Grabbed Halstead's ass in the parking lot and was so close to getting her keys, but Atwater stopped me. Buzzkill. It's gettin' close to hoco, so points for her are now up to 250

Eh, I'll just follow her home tomorrow and then get her before her brother gets home

Her lips will probably feel so good wrapped around me

Jay let out a shaky breath as he got to the end of the thread. "You're right, Kev. I think we might have a case on our hands. You wanna go home, Y/N?"

"I'm scared," you said as you looked up at your brother, tears streaming down your face. "What if they come to the house, Jay?"

"Y/N, I promise you that I will never, ever allow that to happen."

***

You were in the shower, but you could still make out the faint sound of Jay's voice. You didn't know who he was talking to, but you assumed it was either Will, Voight, or Hailey.

All the events of the past two weeks came down on you, crushing you like a ton of bricks. You knew this game was going to happen, but what you didn't know was that they going to do that 200, well now 250 points for you. At least, you hadn't known until Jordan told you and begged you to tell someone.

Since the start of this sick, twisted game, you made sure to wear something that always covered your butt, such as a long sweater or hoodie paired with jeans or leggings. But apparently, that didn't stop money-hungry and hormonal teenage boys.

The first time it happened, it was just a quick pinch when you were standing at your locker, nothing too alarming. Hell, you hadn't even known who it was. But then, once the 200 points were on the line, they started getting more and more aggressive, cornering you after lunch or after class, blocking you from exiting the locker bank.

You had heard the whispers of what Derek Evans planned to do, so you took matters into your own hands, hence stealing Jay's knife from the Rangers. People always said to go to the school, that they'd stop if enough people told. But, they never stopped. Girls had tried and tried last year, and nothing happened. Hell, you were so close to talking to the principal but were cornered right before walking into the main office, so you gave up. You figured you could just put up with it until it was over, despite how much anxiety simply going to school was now giving you.

You stepped out of the shower, dried off, and changed into your pajamas. Then, you glanced at yourself in the mirror: puffy and red eyes and cracked lips stared back at you. You hadn't even felt human since this thing started. You felt like a fucking object.

A fucking arcade game that told them that if they tried hard enough they'd win a damn prize.

The gut-wrenching sob that left your lips stopped Jay on his way to the kitchen. Jay made his way to the bathroom and knocked on the door, your sobs still ever-present.

"Y/N, can I come in? Please?" He asked quietly, using the voice he used when he had to talk to children on the job.

"I just wanna be a-alone right now J-Jay," you hiccupped.

Jay sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You know I can't let you do that. It's not healthy." He didn't get a response, so he just stood outside the bathroom, hoping you'd exit sooner rather than later.

Unfortunately, that didn't happen. And your breathing just got shallower and shallower. "Are you dressed?" he asked.

It took you a moment, but somehow you managed to tell him that you were.

Your vision was starting to go blurry and your feet and fingers were starting to go numb. The sides of your head were pounding so much that you thought it was going to explode.

Jay took a paperclip and unfolded it, then pressed it into the knob until a click was heard. The door was heavier than he had expected, alerting him that you were slumped against it. You felt yourself being pushed forward, but at this point, you didn't even care since you were too focused on not passing out. But, if you did pass out you figured, at least your mind wouldn't wander to all the recent events.

"Y/N, Y/N, open those eyes for me, okay? Just look at me. Focus on me," Jay urged you after he had squeezed himself through the door and was now crouching down in front of you.

"C-Can't-- Open eyes-- hurts," you said through shallow and fast breaths.

"Okay. I'm gonna squeeze your hand. Just focus on the touch and try and follow my breathing."

"What-- if I-- pass-- out?"

"I won't let that happen. Now in, out, in, out. Good. Now I'm gonna add a second. In, out, in, out..."

You continued to focus on Jay's voice as you slowly but surely started to regain feeling in your feet and fingers.

"Can you open your eyes for me?" Jay asked, once your breathing had returned to a semi-normal state for a few cycles. Slowly, you opened your eyes but quickly closed them. "Head still hurt?"

"Yeah."

"That'll happen when not enough oxygen gets to the brain. You can even ask Will to fact check me." You heard the doorbell ring. "Speaking of Will..."

"You didn't."

"But I did. He brought food, too."

"Jay? Y/N? You here?" you heard Will yell from down the hallway after he entered the house.

"Bathroom!" Jay replied, causing you to wince due to how close he was to your ear. "Sorry."

"What the hell happened?" Will asked as he rushed to crouch down in front of you, going into doctor mode when he saw your eyes were clenched shut. There was a pause as Jay mouthed panic attack to his older brother. "Okay, well I'm gonna go get you some water, hopefully that'll make your head stop hurting and then I'll check out that cheek of yours."

"Do you have to?" you whined.

"Kid, one day you'll thank me for this."

"I doubt it," you mumbled.

Will came back with a glass of water and slid it into your hand, making sure that your hand was firmly wrapped around it before letting go. After waiting about a minute after you'd finished the water, you opened your eyes.

"Better?" Will asked.

"Better," you confirmed. "Thanks."

"That's what big brothers are for."

"So that means you don't have to go all doctor on me?"

"Ha, that was funny. Now, sit on the counter so I can take a look."

You pushed yourself off the floor and then onto the counter, Jay standing up after you to stand next to Will. Great, now you had two worried older brothers both looking at the same thing. At least they weren't both doctors.

"Damn, it's already bruising," Jay said as he looked on.

Will hand gently touched your cheek. "Tell me if anywhere hurts." He touched from your jaw up to your cheek bone, but the only place you told him that hurt was between the two and a bit at the bottom of your cheek bone.

"You're lucky," Will started, "You hit it just a bit higher I might have to take you in for x-rays to make sure you didn't bruise or fracture your cheek bone."

"No hospital?" you asked hopefully.

"No hospital," Will confirmed. "Just lots of ice."

"Come on, let's go get that food Will brought before it gets too cold...and the beer for me and him gets warm."

***

You walked into Intelligence with Jay the next morning, trying to think of anything but the worried looks you were getting. "It's okay to be scared," Jay told you, giving your shoulder a squeeze. "And, I'll be there the whole time."

"Do you have to?" you asked him.

"Because you're a minor and I'm your legal guardian, they can't talk to you unless I'm there. So, yes, I have to be with you."

"Hailey," Voight's raspy voice carried through the bullpen. "You go talk to Y/N. Ruzek, go talk to Jordan."

"Jordan's here?" you asked, looking up at Jay.

"Yeah. Kevin wanted him to give a statement, too. Said he can attest to all the stuff that was said in the locker room."

"Oh." You didn't want to think about the things that were said. If you thought what they were posting was bad, what they talked about in the locker room you knew would be ten times worse.

You followed Hailey into the breakroom. Despite being here dozens of times before, it felt odd to you this time, eerie, as it was waiting to gobble up your deepest and darkest secrets and fears and share them with the world.

Hailey sat across from you and Jay sat next to you. "Jay, I need you to read this over and sign it since Y/N's a minor." She slid two pieces of paper over to him and he glanced at them and quickly scribbled his signature.

Hailey gave him a look that said you're not gonna read it? "I've told parents what this says before. I know the drill." Hailey nodded and took the papers from him.

"Start from the beginning, Y/N. What happened with Derek Evans?" Hailey prompted.

"I have a question." Here goes nothing. Hailey nodded at you to continue while Jay furrowed his eyebrows. He had been over how this was going to work with you before you even stepped out of the house this morning to try and ease your nerves. "Does it matter?"

"Does what matter? What he did to you? Of course, it does," Hailey answered.

"No, sorry. That came out wrong. "Does it matter that I had a crush on him last year...and kinda into this year." The crush only lasted two months into this school year though, when you found out he had cheated on his current girlfriend. But last year, oh last year your crush was in full swing and you took every opportunity you could to talk to the then junior, and there was no fooling anyone in that school that you had been head over heels for him.

"I'm sorry. I'm not following," Hailey apologized.

"Since I had a crush on him and he knew it, couldn't he take that as I wanted this?"

"No. It's only consent if both parties agreed to it."

"But maybe me having a crush on him would make him think that."

Now, it was Jay's turn to speak. "Did you take health class yet?"

"No, I take it next semester. Why?"

"The teacher will talk about consent there, but I guess we're doing it now." He looked at Hailey to make sure this was okay and she nodded at him to continue. "What do you think has to happen for someone to not consent?"

"One of them has to say no or stop."

"Is that the only way to be sure?"

"I mean, I guess."

"See, that's where you're wrong. It's not consent if you slap his hand away. It's not consent if you're too drunk to say yes. Same for drugs. It's not consent if you're coerced into it. And, consent can be revoked at any time. Any time. To keep it simple for you to remember right now, it's only consent if you and him both said yes to this. And, I know you didn't say yes to what happened to you and what they were threatening to do to you."

"So, even though I didn't say stop or no right away when he pushed me up against my car and grabbed me, I still wasn't consenting?" you asked.

"No," Hailey answered. "Did he ask to grab your butt?"

"No."

"Therefore, there was no consent involved."

There was a knock on the door and Hailey got up to answer it. "Halstead, a word," Voight ordered, motioning for him to follow.

Jay glanced at you. "Hey, don't worry, kid. Everything will work out one way or another."

Jay followed Voight into his office and closed the door. "What's up, Sarge?"

"The kid who grabbed your sister, well he's 18, Jay. Just turned 18 last month."

"So, we can press more charges?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Since all we have are threats and Y/N's and Jordan's word against his, most we can do is forcible touching. If he had acted on the threat, then that'd be a different story."

"So, you're saying that she had to be forced to have oral sex with this ass to press more charges? The threats aren't enough? Even though we clearly have proof of the threats from that goddamn leaderboard."

"I know it's not ideal--"

Jay threw his hands up. "Ideal? It's ridiculous!"

Voight was about to say something, but was stopped by a knock on his office door. "Yeah?" he asked.

"Boss, we got a problem," Ruzek said as he entered.

"What type of problem?"

"The Evans kid? Yeah, well his dad's the president of the school board."

"You're kidding."

"Wish I was, Boss."

"Jay, go see if Y/N knew about this. The rest of us are gonna figure out how to proceed with this new information."

Jay was about to enter the breakroom, when his phone buzzed. It was Will.

Any news? the text read.

Other than the fact that the Evans kid's dad is the president of the school board and we only have enough to get him on forcible touching, no nothing new.

Jay didn't even think about the fact that he was sharing information about an open investigation. To him, this was just him talking to his brother about the case that involved his sister.

Jay held down the power button to turn his phone off and then walked back into the breakroom. "Anything?" Hailey asked.

"Uh, yeah. But let's finish interviewing Y/N first. I know we had to stop since I left."

Jay sat back down next to you and Hailey started questioning you once again.

"Did you know that this game was going to happen?" Hailey asked.

"Yeah, that's why I started wearing long sweaters and hoodies, to try and cover up my butt."

"Okay, and when it start to turn into more than grabs?"

"Um, one day Jordan called me after school and he told me that Derek was planning to get me to..." you trailed off, not wanting to say it.

"I know you think it's disgusting to say, Y/N, but I need you to say what he said to you."

You looked up at Jay, feeling like a five-year-old who was about to say a swear word. "It's okay. We won't laugh or get mad."

"He uh, Jordan told me that Derek was going to get me to give him a blowjob...even if he had to force me to do it."

A few tears ran down your face. Even though your brother was a cop, telling the actual cops in an actual statement made it that much more real.

"Do you want a break? Some water maybe?" Hailey asked.

"No, I'm fine. I just wanna get this over with."

"Okay. Did anyone try and tell the principal? Any teachers? Other adults?"

"Girls tried, they really did. They told Mr. White, the principal, but he said that they didn't have any proof. And, he also said that they were football players and that some of them had shots at scholarships for D1 schools. Why would we want to wreck that for them, is what he had asked us. And, Derek's dad is on the school board, so we knew that even if it went further than the principal and to the superintendent or school board, that nothing would happen.

"I was gonna try to tell Mr. White once, but I was cornered before I got into the main office, so I was scared."

You turned to Jay now. "I'm sorry. I should've told you when this all started but I didn't want to get made fun of or have more things happen at school because what if they canceled football and it was all my fault and--"

"You need to remember that you did nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing, you hear me?" you nodded. "And what White did, basically saying that boys will be boys, that makes me sick. And if I had a way to arrest him, I would."

"Thanks, Jay."

A comfortable silence fell over you before you explained everything else, like Derek shoving you against your car and forcibly grabbing your ass. You also explained how Jordan had said that he was planning on taking your keys so you'd have to have oral with him to get them back and how other players were planning on following you home.

After that, you were out in the bullpen, when Trudy Platt came up the stairs. "Hank, Halstead, I need you to go this address."

Platt handed Voight a piece of paper, which you're assuming had the address on it. "Why? This doesn't have to do with our case. Couldn't patrol do it?"

"I don't think Halstead would be pleased if I put his brother in lockup, so I figured I'd have you two go check it out," she answered.

"What did Will do?" you piped up before Jay could.

"Let's just say him and Derek Evans each got a few punches in," Trudy answered. "I thought you two could be the ones to go down and get him."

"Thanks, Trudy," Voight said as he started to walk downstairs. But, he stopped when he noticed that Jay wasn't following.

"Uh, Hailey," Jay called. "Could you maybe take Y/N to Will's house while I do this? I just don't want her at home in case they somehow got our address."

"Yeah, no problem," Hailey answered, taking the spare key Jay handed her.

You four walked down the stairs and then each headed your separate ways. Once Jay and Voight were in the car, Voight turned to him. "Care to tell me how Will found the name and address?"

"Sarge, I have absolutely no idea." And then he remembered the text he sent. "Oh, oh shit. Listen, it was an accident. He asked me if we had any new information, and I told him that Derek was 18 and he must've just went from that. Sorry, I wasn't thinking. To me, this isn't just an investigation, it's an investigation that involves my sister and I was just giving information to my brother without thinking about the legal ramifications."

"I get it, Jay. I did the same thing with Justin."

"Are we really arresting him?"

"No, but we are gonna have a chat with Derek and his father."

***

"I want to press charges!" Derek Evans' dad yelled when Jay and Hank rolled up to the scene. "This man assaulted my son!"

"Yeah? Well, your son assaulted my sister, so I think it's even!" Will spat back.

"Let's just take a moment to talk this out," Voight said, stepping between the two.

"I won't talk until you put this man in handcuffs!"

Voight turned and nodded at Jay. "Sarge, you can't be--"

"I am serious, Jay. Now do it and bring him to the car. Now."

Jay gritted his teeth and put Will's hands behind his back. "You have the right to right to remain silent. If you give up this right, anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law. If you do not have the money to afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand these rights as they have been told to you?" Jay recited as he led Will to the car.

"Yes. Jay, what are you--"

"Just go with it," Jay hissed in his ear, causing his older brother to shut up.

Jay put Will in the back of the car and then got in the passenger seat. "Now, in a second I'm going to take these off and then I'm gonna go inside and talk to them with Voight. Do not, under any circumstances, get out of the car. You understand me?"

"Yeah, now can you get these off me? You put 'em on real tight, Jay."

Jay smirked as he took Will out of the car and undid his cuffs. "Payback for all the times you poked me with a needle." Then, he looked at Will's face. "Looks like the kid got a few good punches on you. There's gonna be a real nice shiner there," he joked.

"Shut up and go finish your job." Will rolled his eyes as Jay put the cuffs back in his pocket and left Will in the car.

When Jay walked into the Evans' residence he saw Derek, Derek's dad, and Hank all sitting down at the kitchen table. "Now, we know that your son has threatened to force himself on a girl at school, so this can go one of two ways," Voight started as Jay stood behind him. "We can either contact the media and tell them all about this little game he and his teammates like to play, but that he took a step too far, which would ensure he doesn't get into a good college. Or, you could transfer him out of his current high school and to a new one and this doesn't get out to the press. Your choice."

"You don't have enough to charge him, so why would I pull my son out of school his senior year?"

"Because, once word gets out, well no college wants a guy with a history of sexual assault on their football team. It sets a bad image."

"It's not like I even did anything!" Derek protested, while still trying to hold the ice pack to his lip that Will had busted open.

"Oh, didn't do anything? Let me enlighten you. You got the pictures, Sarge?" Jay asked.

"Got 'em right here."

Voight laid all the pictures of the leaderboard and the messages about you on the table. "The girl who Derek said he wanted to get oral sex from? That guy in the back of our car right now is her brother. Now, do you understand why the fight broke out, Mr. Evans?"

Derek's dad looked back and forth between the pictures and his son, trying to figure out how his son could do this. "Derek, did you say these things?"

"Oh, he did more than say. He slammed the girl up against her car and forcibly grabbed her backside," Jay said, not wanting to admit he was your brother or else there would be a conflict of interest in this encounter. And, even though Derek knew, Jay was the one with a gun so he figured the best idea would be to not piss him off.

Voight laid the picture of your bruised cheek on the table. "This is what happened because of that. She's lucky she didn't break her cheekbone."

"I'm- I'm sorry," Derek finally spoke up. "It was just supposed to be a fun game that we bet some money on who could get the most points."

"A game? A game is football. This is bordering on assault. We are far from a game," Jay told him.

"So, what's it gonna be? Take Derek out of school and transfer him or do I call the media? You have five seconds," Voight told him, pulling out his phone to silently tell them that he wasn't bluffing.

Derek's eyes widened. "I'll transfer! I'll transfer!"

"Derek, we need time to think about this--"

"No, Dad, I need a shot at a scholarship to go D1."

"Then it's settled. Thank you for your time."

Jay and Voight left the house and went back to the car. "What's the verdict?" Will asked.

"He's transferring schools," Voight answered and handed the folder of evidence photos to Jay.

"Why are you giving these to me?"

Voight shrugged. "Do with them what you want, Halstead. I wouldn't blame you, no one would."

***

"Hailey, can you give me and Y/N a second?" Jay asked as you entered you house and shrugged off your coats.

"Of course."

"You can stay out here. We'll talk in Y/N's room," Jay said.

You walked down the hall and went into your room and sat on your bed. "So, what's up? Did you arrest Derek?"

"Unfortunately, we didn't have enough evidence to do that."

You looked down at your hands. "But then it's just gonna keep happening, Jay. I don't wanna go back there."

"Back where?" he asked, sitting next to you.

"To school, it'll just be worse."

"Hey, no it won't because he's transferring schools."

"But the other boys will just keep doing it, Jay. I'm terrified."

"Hey, hey look at me." You looked up at Jay, trying to stop yourself from crying. "That will not happen, I can promise you that."

"But you don't know that."

"Just trust me on this one."

"Okay," you whispered.

"And one more thing," Jay started. "If it didn't already go without saying, you're ungrounded because I'm assuming you brought that knife to school to use in case anything happened. And, with what happened yesterday, I can't say I blame you."

"Thanks, I figured as much."

"Now, next time you need something for self-defense, we're just gonna get you some pepper spray."

"Good idea."

"Let's go back out to Hailey and you two can look at Pinterest or whatever for dresses or whatever it is girls do with that stuff."

***

The next morning, you woke up to message after message about school. There were links sent you entitled Football Player Assaults Girl Outside of School Because of a Bet and Principal of a Chicago High School Resigns Because of Complaints from Girls about the Football Team Sexually Harassing Them, but He Didn't do Anything about It.

You could not believe it. Just 48 hours ago you were freaking out about having to go to school for fear of a guy grabbing you or doing something worse. And now, you could go to school and feel comfortable. And, those boys wouldn't do anything else and if something did happen, you'd be able to tell the assistant principal--who was now acting principal--about what was happening and have something actually be done about it.

"Jay!" you yelled as you ran into the kitchen, almost bumping into him.

"Whoa, slow down! I almost spilled hot coffee on you!" he laughed as he set his mug down on the table and turned back to you.

"Sorry, sorry. Have you seen this? Someone leaked the leaderboard and now Mr. White resigned! I'll actually be able to focus in class now!" You slid the phone to him and he looked at the titles in the notifications. "I just wonder who did it."

"Told you I'd handle it." Then, he took a sip of his coffee.

"Oh my God, you were the one who leaked it?" Your eyes almost popped out of your head. Couldn't that get him in trouble?

"I never said that."

"You just sipped your coffee like that Kermit and the sips tea meme, so yeah, I think you did," you playfully argued.

"Well, technically, it wasn't me. I just passed on a copy of the pictures to a CI of mine, whose cousin happens to work for the Chicago Sun-Times."

"Bye-bye college football for all these assholes."

"And the city's a safer place because of it."

"Hey, what do I always say: Go save Chicago."

"Team effort. And this time, Y/N, you got to play a part in that team."

A/N: I know it's been almost a month since I've posted an imagine, but school is busy and I'm writing long imagines, which usually take me a week to write, so that's why.  Oh, and happy Valentine's Day (bc that's in like 2 days). Go cuddle with your boyfriend/girlfriend if you have one. Or, if you're single (like me) go read some cute fluffy fanfiction and eat all the chocolate!

[cc-tinslebee]

Okay, so, about a month ago, my brain just conjured up probably the most random au possible: Legally Blonde Adam Banks/banksway au.

Believe me, it's as chaotic as it sounds, but lowkey, I'm kind of in love with it.

Adam never joins the Ducks because there aren't any Ducks to join. Bombay never had to do community service with District Five so there was no one to realise that Adam was on the wrong team all along. He continues to play for the Hawks and, eventually, the Eden Hall Warriors, never getting the chance to become the well-rounded individual we know him as because he's never known anything other than his rich privilege and the "win at all costs" mentality. He ends up going to college on a hockey scholarship and not straight to the NHL or the AHL (shocking, I know). While he's unsure of his major and where his life is heading, he finds solace in the fraternity he joins, which, by some sheer twist of fate, Jesse and Guy have also miraculously joined.

And his life is perfect for a while. He's the star player on yet another school's hockey team, all of his fraternity brothers adore him (though, it took a bit for Jesse to warm up to him), and his secret, not-really-official thing with his former teammate is going swimmingly. (Not to slander my boy, but I was picturing Larson for the role of Warner, purely because the alternative seems to be Rick Riley and that's kind of an unsettling image-- though, maybe that's the point?)

But then his secret boyfriend breaks up with him because, with his high aspirations in life, he needs to be "more serious." And dating Adam Banks, a guy in a stereotypical fraternity who only really knows hockey, in 2001 isn't exactly the white-picket-fence life he's looking for if he's going to be a politician.

And since this non-Duck Adam clearly doesn't have the braincells that canon Adam does, in his devastation, he decides it's a brilliant idea to prove that he is serious by applying to Harvard Law. His parents try to talk him out of it, since they want him to pursue his dreams of hockey, but being a lawyer is a respectable career so they can't exactly argue with him.

He gets accepted thanks to Jesse, Guy, and the rest of his fraternity helping him study for the LSAT and keeping him on track. He's trying his darndest when he gets to Harvard, but (despite his struggle not being as significant as Elle Woods'), not a lot of people take him seriously as an aspiring lawyer, considering him a meathead jock who only got in because of daddy's money.

And that's about the time he meets Linda, who he vaguely remembers from his time at Eden Hall. What he doesn't remember is her being so competitive, because she's deliberately beating him at every turn, just trying (and kind of succeeding) at making him look like a fool. To make matters worse, all of the sudden, she's engaged to his ex-boyfriend, who is very adamant about never telling anyone that he and Adam were more than friends (because, you know, early 2000s homophobia and such).

But things get a little brighter for Adam when he meets Charlie, an undergrad teacher's assistant who gives him all sorts of advice about surviving the school. He introduces him to Professor Bombay, who Charlie claims is the only reason he survived his first year and quickly becomes Adam's favourite teacher, and Charlie's childhood friend Connie, who aspires to be a state senator one day. Charlie's charismatic and even if he's not the most well-liked person at Harvard, Adam feels a weight lifted off his shoulders once he becomes friends with him and Connie. Things become a little easier.

Just before he and Charlie start getting really close, Adam meets Casey at a local diner on a day he's feeling particularly upset and alone, and the two start bonding almost immediately. (He bullshits his way into scaring an ex-husband of hers with legal repercussions he has no idea about and she basically adopts him in return.) It takes him an embarrassing amount of time to realise that it's not just a coincidence that Casey and Charlie share the same last name, which results in poor Adam feeling extremely embarrassed for not connecting the dots sooner while Charlie's having the time of his life teasing him for it. Eventually, when the dust of that settles, Charlie and Adam join forces to set Casey and Bombay up, their schemes borderline ridiculous at times, but they'rere not exactly failing.

And after realising he isn't the Warriors moron she thought he was for going on five years, Linda starts warming up to Adam, which is surprisingly nice? She figures out on her own that there used to be something between him and her fiancé, and is more understanding of Adam than she is mad. Linda actually spills to him the lengths Adam's ex had to go through to actually get into Harvard, aligning more with the rumours about Adam's acceptance being bought than having the aptitude for the law that Linda and Adam share. (This may be me saying Linda and Adam friendship rights, what of it-- /lh)

To make things all the better, Bombay chooses Adam, Linda, Connie, Charlie, and Adam's ex to be on his legal team for a murder case he's responsible for (and while he knows about Adam and Charlie's ploys to hook him up with Charlie's mom, they're his favourites, so he doesn't say anything).

And this is just so much better than anything he had before. After all the initial unpleasantness, Linda and Connie become some of the most genuine friends he's ever had. He misses Guy and Jesse, of course, and he'd never take them for granted, but back when he was with them at the fraternity, a part of him was still being as superficial as he had been in middle and high school. Being authentic for once in his life is liberating.

And Charlie's just about the most considerate person Adam's ever met. Adam doesn't even mind when Charlie teases him over his absurd and juvenile insults because he's just this source of light for Adam, supporting him and always pushing him to be the best version of himself. His ex hardly even exists when Charlie's around because his energy is just so contagious that Adam starts falling for him long before he even realises it. (And when Jesse and Guy come to visit, there's a moment where it all clicks and the four of them realise their history together, however brief. I strongly maintain that they'd be that Starkid meme: "Fucking Hawks? We hated you guys!" "We hated ourselves!" But it does make Adam realise how much better off he would've been if he had Charlie and his team when he was little instead of the Hawks, and it just further makes him understand that people like Larson and Rick Riley just aren't worth it.)

But there's also another revelation Adam goes through. Between helping Casey, his rigorous studies, and his position working with/for Bombay, something just clicks for Adam. He likes being able to help people, fighting for the good guys who may not have the resources they need to be properly defended. Practicing law calls to him in the same way hockey did; it's the feeling of knowing this is what he's meant to do. He still loves hockey, he always will, but it helps him finally grasp that there's a world for him outside of it; when hockey ends for him, there's something equally as rewarding that he can pursue, which was something he never thought he would have.

I haven't a single coherent thought about this au past that point except for these little inklings of an ending--

There's absolutely no SA scene like the movie had; Bombay's just Adam and Charlie's favourite teacher and those are his boys, so he's going to make sure they succeed as if his life depends on it.

With that said, Bombay believes in them both enough to let them finish the case because with their joined determination/stubbornness (and Adam's in with the defendant), Adam and Charlie are a force to be reckoned with and he knows it.

After a handful of comedic failures, they do end up succeeding at their attempts to set Casey and Bombay up, and they start living together sometime during the kids' Junior year :) (All I'm asking is for one (1) story with a Casey/Gordon endgame-- I just think they're neat--)

Linda dumps her fiancé (as she should) and goes on to live her best wlw life as a successful lawyer. (If I'm not mistaken, Linda's actress actually is a lawyer, which is a pretty cool fun fact!!)

Adam and Linda's ex gets the Warner ending because, man, screw that guy /lh (rip to Larson if this is him, I'm sure you'll get a nice endgame in some other universe, king)

Honorary mention for Connie, who was going long distance with Guy this entire time to everyone but Jesse's shock, and they get their Game Changers endgame of State Senator Connie Moreau and stay-at-home dad Guy Germaine with their seven -- sorry, three -- children :)

Adam's an absolute bundle of nerves after graduation, which definitely concerns Charlie. So, when he asks if he's okay, Adam starts nervously monologuing about their time together until he runs out of breath. He ends it by proposing to him, and Charlie smiles so surely at him when he says yes. They both become damn good public defenders and stay engaged until the point they can legally get married, but they're practically husbands long before that happens.

Also, if I did my math right (which I should’ve, it’s my entire basis for my Share Your Address series), the Ducks’ would have the same graduating class year as Elle Woods anyway (2004), which is pretty neat!

Thank you once again for listening to me ramble :)

[skieswords]

Pull Through Part 1

Warnings for this book: Mentions of depression, alcohol and drugs, abuse and self-harming behaviours. Please do not read if any of these things will affect you, I have plenty of other stories on my page that are free from potential triggers❤️

Summary: Alex’s little sister Becca, is Sunset Curve’s number 1 fan. After her 16th birthday, her relationship with the lead guitarist becomes questionable, and she’s left trying to decide between following her heart, and respecting her brother’s wishes. Starts in November 1994.

Friday afternoons were always dull. Everyone's eyes were glued to the clock on the wall, heads slumped in hands, with the back row asleep save for one person. The only person paying any attention to the lesson was Gina in the front row, her comically large glasses falling down her nose as she scribbled notes from the board furiously. Becca tapped her foot absentmindedly, drumming her fingers on the desk as she stared out of the window. Her thoughts were on the essay she'd been issued last period, that she had no idea where to even start with. Was it on Shakespeare? Or the flaws in capitalism? Oh wait- that was what Mr Malcolm had told her would get her suspended again. She was jerked out of her thoughts by the scraping of chairs on the floor, and rustling papers as the class packed up and made their way out of the door. She sighed and pushed back in her seat, slinging her bag over her shoulder and trying her hardest to slink out of the room. 'Don't see me, don't see me, don't see me.' She crossed her fingers and prayed silently, ducking behind a group of girls, but her attempt to leave unnoticed failed miserably. "Rebecca, hold on a moment please." Becca cringed at her full name and turned to face her math teacher, false grin planted, eyes wide and innocent. "I wanted to talk to you about your math homework- or more accurately, the absence of it?" With an internal groan and a brief eye roll, Becca tried to formulate an excuse in her head, but failed. "Can I give it to you on monday morning?" Mrs Jacob, the math teacher, sighed, but nodded, a grim expression on her face as she turned back to her desk, waving Becca away. Breathing out in relief, she legged it out of the classroom. The corridor was basically empty now, with only a handful of stragglers hanging around, either for detention, or waiting for extra credit opportunities.

"Hey stranger, you coming?" Reggie appeared in front of her, guitar case slung over his shoulder, and hands in his jean pockets. Becca grinned at him, and searched her pocket for her locker key. "Two secs, got to grab my stuff." Reggie followed her to her locker and laughed as she opened it, revealing at least half a foot of paper sitting in a heap at the bottom. Becca shrugged and reached in, pulling out her skateboard. "Homework?" She scowled at him, shoving some paper into her backpack carelessly, and zipping it shut. "Alex told me to ask." Becca groaned and reached in to the warzone once more, pulling out her math textbook, before slamming her locker shut and stalking down the hall, Reggie following closely behind. "Who's driving today?" She turned to face him as they walked down the front steps of the school, face falling at his expression. "No, I'll get the bus." Reggie grabbed her arm as she tried to walk away, dragging her back to his side and shrugging. " He's not that bad. He needs practice, his test is next week." Becca groaned loudly, but continued down the sidewalk to where her brother's beaten up 1993 mustang sat, one headlight cracked, and scratches covering the doors. Alex had been given the car for his 16th birthday, and Becca suspected she would get something similar for hers. Although god knows she'd take better care of it than Alex did- his could easily pass as being 10 years old, not 2. "Hey trouble." His voice came from the driver's seat, and Becca bent down to lean on the window frame, her face blank. "Crash and I'll kill you." Luke grinned up at her, that ridiculous smirk that hadn't changed since elementary school, and she reached through to pull his beanie off his head. His smirk turned into a scowl, and Becca laughed at him, walking around to the rear of the car. The trunk was already sitting open, the boys guitars and school bags dumped among the empty water bottles and crisp packets. Becca dropped her own belongings in and slammed the trunk shut, taking her seat in the back beside Reggie. Alex turned to face her, pushing his fringe off his face. "How was math?" Becca shrugged and pulled one knee up to her chest, looking out of the window. "Bex. Math?" She rolled her eyes at him and groaned, throwing her head back against the seat. "It was fine. I've got homework." Alex nodded and reached into the footwell, tossing a can of juice at her. "I'll help you with it tomorrow?" Becca smiled and cracked open her can, taking a gulp and kicking the back of Luke's seat. He turned and glared at her, grabbing her shoe and tugging her forward, causing juice to splash up onto her face. They launched into a game of tug of war with Becca's leg, until Reggie leaned forward, and interrupted, pulling Luke's hand off Becca. "Is Bobby coming over tonight?" Luke shrugged and and turned back to the wheel, the car shuddering to life a moment later. Becca put on her seat belt and crossed her arms. "Hold on boys. This could get messy." She caught Luke's eye in the mirror and winked at him as he gave her the finger, before resting her head back on the seat, and tapping her fingers to the rhythm in her head, on the windowpane. He noticed, and smirked to himself, reaching over to turn up the volume on the radio.

When they pulled up to Luke's house, Becca noticed his knuckles turn white, as he gripped the steering wheel tightly. Opening the door and pulling his seat forward to let Becca out, he walked toward the rear end of the car and opened the trunk, frowning slightly. "Hey Alex? Could you uh, take my guitar to Reggie's tonight?" Alex sighed and nodded, taking Luke's place in the driver seat. Becca walked past Luke, who slammed the trunk shut a little too hard, making her jump. "Sorry Bex. See you tonight?" Becca smiled, waving over her shoulder at him. He smirked and bit his bottom lip, nodding his head before turning on his heel, and heading into the house. Alex started driving back to their house, tapping his fingers to the beat of the song on the radio. Becca started humming along, and he cranked it up a bit, whistling the tune through his teeth as they drove through their neighbourhood. Alex and Becca's dad was a lawyer, and their mom was a doctor, so they lived in a very nice area. They constantly made jokes about how their incredibly academic parents, a lawyer and a doctor, produced two delinquents. The gay drummer of a rock band, and a skater daughter, who flunked all but two of her classes. It was clear they were still hoping for clones of themselves, through their ridiculous insistance that they be called Rebecca and Alexander, names that both siblings despised greatly. This, and the constant pressure about college. They'd given up on Alex, because he'd already been contacted by a number of schools, wanting him for their music program, and he'd made it very clear that was what he was going to do. However, Graham, their dad, was currently on Becca's back because she was failing math, reminding her daily that she'd never make it to medical school with her current grades. "Ready?" Alex turned the engine off and got out of the car, walking around to the trunk. Becca followed him, picking up her school bag, and reaching out for her skateboard. She'd just grabbed the edge when the front door opened, and Graham appeared. Alex smacked her hand, making her drop it, and pushed the trunk shut quickly, stepping away from the car. He placed a hand on Becca's shoulder and gave her a push, sending her inside. "Rebecca, good day?" Becca nodded, and ran past her dad, head down. Alex watched her go and resisted the urge to punch the eldest member of the Mercer family, before locking the car and following her in. He heard her bedroom door slam shut upstairs, and sighed internally. "Hey sweetheart, how was school?" Alex walked into the kitchen and dropped his keys on the work top, running a hand through his hair. "It was good, mom. It still okay if I take Bex over to Reggie's tonight?" Julia smiled softly and walked over to Alex, reaching up to stroke the hair off his face. He towered over her tiny frame, 6 foot of blonde hair, sarcastic comments, and brightly coloured t-shirts. "Rebecca should study. You can go, but she's behind in school." Alex rolled his eyes subtly and nodded. "She won't study if I leave her. If I take her with me she can sit with Reggie's mom?" Julia considered this, and glanced around with a worried expression. "I have a shift tonight, and your father's gone out for a bit. Leave now, and as long as your both back by 10, you can take her. Make sure she works." Alex smirked, and grabbed his keys, before kissing her swiftly on the cheek and running up the stairs.

Becca's room was a soft grey, with one orange wall that had a large desk leaning against it, littered with sheets of paper. A black acoustic guitar, with a light coating of dust, sat in the corner, a red electric on a stand beside it. Another empty stand sat nearby. A Sunset Curve flyer hung above her bed frame, pride of place. Her built in closet hung open, clothes spilling out over the floor, and more hanging on the chair of her desk. Paper was scattered across her bed, Becca sitting up in the middle of it all, chewing her pencil. Her light brown hair sat in a bun at the nape of her neck, tendrils falling around her face. A knock on the door made her look up, and a pair of bright blue eyes met her own, as Alex stepped through the doorframe. "Leaving for Reggie's in 5, you ready?" Becca grinned,  jumping up and grabbing one of Alex's old hoodies from her closet. Slipping her feet into her converse, she looked up at her big brother, an innocent smile on her face. "Can you drop me off at the skate park?" Alex snorted and pointed to her school bag. "Not a chance. Grab that, I told mom you'd study." Becca rolled her eyes, but swung her backpack over her shoulder, throwing some of the paper from her bed into it. "Oh shit." Alex turned back to her with his eyebrows raised. Becca was pulling her glasses off her face, tucking the large black frames into her pocket. "Sorry. Now we can go." They headed out the door and down the stairs, Becca jumping on Alex's back when they reached the bottom. "Why don't you wear your glasses out? No-one minds them." Becca shrugged and rested her head on Alex's shoulder, only jumping down when they reached the car. "I dunno. They make me look dorky. Bobby's going tonight isn't he?" Alex nodded and turned the keys, the car giving a few shudders until it jumped to life with a roar. Becca groaned and threw her head against the head rest. "But he always flirts with me! It's so gross." With a surprised laugh and slight smirk, Alex started the well-known route to Reggie's. "He's been warned, but he tries to sleep with anything that moves." Becca raised her eyebrows silently, but snorted, and Alex realised what he said, his face flushing red with embarrassment and fear. "Uhhhh I mean, flirt. Yup. Totally didn't just make a sex joke to my baby sister." Becca laughed and punched his arm gently, kicking her feet up on the dash. "I'm not a baby- I'm sixteen in 4 days. And I'm only like a year younger than you." Alex rolled his eyes. "Maybe you need more help with math than we thought."   Becca looked at him questioningly, as he turned left, away from Reggie's. "Got to check Luke's not still at home. His folks won't have taken him." Nodding, Becca started chewing her lip and looked out the window. Luke was the youngest of the band, only turning 17 a few months ago, and was the only one who couldn't drive yet. The sun was setting, the November chill drifting through the cracks in the car. When they reached Luke's house, the front porch light was on, and they could see into the living room. The Pattersons were all there, Luke's arms outstretched. They couldn't quite see his face, but by the looks of things, they were arguing again. Alex honked once, and Luke glanced out the window. He seemed to shout one last thing, before running out of the room appearing at the front door moments later, that ridiculous grey jacket thrown over his arm. As he stalked towards the car, Becca noticed his tearstreaked face, and felt something wrench in her chest. She clambered into the back seat without argument, pulling her bag with her. "Hey man, you alright?" Luke sniffed and rolled his eyes, nodding at Becca in the rearview. "Hey Bex." She didn't say anything, smiling weakly and watching his reflection in the wing mirror. He rubbed his eyes fiercely with his fists, and started to bite the little nails he did have, his eyes wraught with pain and anger. Becca wanted to say something, but didn't know what would make him feel better. "Hey guys, can we get ice cream?" She leaned through the gap and rested her elbows on the seats. Luke turned to look at her, his green eyes rimmed with red. They made brief eye contact, and she gave him a soft smile, tilting her head slightly towards him. "We have to get to Reggie's though..." Becca looked at Alex with puppy dog eyes, and Luke leant forward to join her, sticking out his bottom lip. "You two will be the death of me. Fine, but we're getting for everyone." Becca and Luke's fists connected, and Becca felt a shiver go down her spine as a deep chuckle erupted from Luke's throat. She sat back, and watched out of the window as Alex drove further and further away from Reggie's.

"We brought ice-cream!" Alex came barging through the door of Reggie's garage, where Bobby was in the corner tuning his guitar, and Reggie was sitting on the couch, feet on the coffee table. "Hey man, running late?" Luke came through after Alex, dumping his guitar case on top of the piano and starting to unpack it. Reggie sat up and leant towards the ice cream bag, picking a tub out. "I thought Bex was coming?" Alex turned round and looked about him in confusion, rolling his eyes with a smile when she came through the doors dramatically. "She is and she did. Reg is your mom in? Or should I chill in the loft?" Becca came strolling towards the boys, empty handed, school bag abandoned in the car. "Mom's in, you can choose." Bobby put down his guitar, ran his hands through his hair, and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Hey gorgeous." Alex stepped in front of him, pushing him back gently. "Hey. She's still underage, still my sister, and still totally off limits." Becca laughed and walked over to the piano, leaving Bobby to groan at Alex's insistance that Becca would never date. "Hey, can I take this?" Luke looked down to her, and the pile of paper in her hand. "Uh sure, what's it for?" Becca shrugged and disappeared up the ladder, leaving Luke watching her with a raised eyebrow. But he didn't have long to ponder what she was doing, as Reggie started tuning his bass, and Bobby sat back on the couch, still pouting after Alex's telling off. Becca took her seat in the loft, settling into a beanbag with her stash of paper. The loft was small, but she hung out here most nights of the week, so she'd made it comfy. One wall had a few shelves on it, with her favourite books and a few blankets stacked on them. A large stack of Sunset Curve CD cases were piled up in the corner, t-shirt designs crammed in a box next to them. And in another corner, tucked behind her beanbag, was her guitar. Becca unclipped the case and slipped the strap over her head, strumming quietly. The boys made enough noise that they wouldn't be able to hear her in the loft, but she was careful anyways. It was a secret, that she played. Alex knew the black Martin was a gift from someone, so just presumed his little sister was too polite to give it back, or sell it. The electric was Luke's, left there years ago, and never retrieved. She adored the beaten up Fender Reggie's mom had given her when she was 12, and didn't have any plans to exchange it. It was covered in stickers, and she'd re-strung it so many times the tuning pegs were worn. There was an entire corner dedicated to vans stickers, collected from the 4 billion pairs Luke seemed to own. Becca and her guitar had been through everything together. She'd fought with her dad just after Alex's birthday last year, and after ignoring her for a week, she'd found a gorgeous black Martin resting on her bed. It remained untouched, as she felt like it would be an insult to Reggie if she accepted it. Besides, her old one was perfectly broken in, and felt familiar and heavy in her hand. She noticed the floor of the loft was vibrating beneath her, Luke's chords biting through the air forcefully. He was clearly upset. Becca sighed, slipped her glasses on, and picked up the sheets of paper in front of her, scribbling furiously.

And you use your pain 'Cause it makes you you Though I wish I could hold you through it

She picked through a couple of chords gently, frowning when she couldn't quite work it out. It must've been hours, because the boys had stopped playing. Tucking her guitar back into it's hiding place, Becca reached for a notebook sitting on the shelf, and pulled it into her lap, rewriting the words next to some verses she'd come up with in the past.  "Hey Bex, Alex wants to go, you ready?" Becca jumped at the sound of Luke's voice, scrambling to hide the sheets of paper sitting in her lap. She must have lost track of time, or reality, because the garage was silent, and Luke's watch said it was 9.30. "Uh, yeh, two seconds." She stuffed it into her hoodie pocket, and tucked her hair behind her ears. "Nice glasses." Becca's eyes widened, and she pulled the offending articles off her face, stuffing them in her pocket alongside her music . Luke came all the way up the ladder, and crouched opposite her, looking over the various sheets of paper. An orange notebook lay open on the floor, and he picked it up, scanning the page. "Damn, Bex, you write?" Becca jumped up and grabbed the book, dropping it onto the beanbag and sitting back down. "No. I just get bored listening to your guys stuff, it's poems and stuff for school." Luke appeared to be holding back a laugh, and was looking at her in utter disbelief. He knew she was lying through her teeth, but decided not to say anything, choosing to sit cross legged and continue flicking through the assortment of pages laying on the floor. Becca watched anxiously, and started putting stuff away, making sure her notebook was tucked away safely on the shelf where he couldn't see. "Some of these poems are really good. You should try putting them to music." Becca snorted and snatched the sheets out of his hand. "Fat chance, I don't sing, and I don't play." Luke appeared skeptical, but he stayed silent, frowning slightly as he started to pile up the loose paper. "Anyway, as I was saying, your brother wants to go. And I'm staying with you guys tonight." Becca nodded, and climbed to her feet, brushing down her jeans. Luke started climbing down the ladder, smirking up at her. She rolled her eyes, and followed him down, hugging Reggie before walking out to the car behind all the guys. Bobby took the front, leaving Luke and Becca in the backseat together. It wasn't late, but she felt her eyelids drooping as the car purred along the darkened streets, and with the boys all totally silent, it didn't take long for her to drop off to sleep. Luke glanced down at her head on his shoulder and smiled softly. His jacket was sitting in his lap, and he gently swung it over her, before turning his head to face out the window, watching the houses in Bobby's neighbourhood flit by. When they reached his house, he turned to say goodnight to Luke and Becca, frowning when he found them both asleep, Luke's head now resting on top of Becca's. Alex turned round, and rolled his eyes, giving Bobby a light shove to get him out of the car. "Sorry dude, I gotta have her home by 10." Bobby sighed, but fist bumped Alex and got out. "Thanks for the lift bro, catch you later." Alex waved at him and drove off, heading over three neighbourhoods to his place. The driveway was dark, and he let out a disappointed sigh as he realised his dad was still out. Oh well, at least they could go in undisturbed. Luke apparently was awake, sitting up gently so as to not disturb Becca. "Wake her if you want, she'll fall straight back asleep when she gets upstairs. "Nah I feel bad. Want me to carry her up?" Alex raised his eyebrows but shrugged, pulling his chair forward to let them out. Luke slipped one arm under Becca's knees, and pulled her head into his chest gently, letting it fall onto him as he climbed out of the car. His jacket still draped over her, he carried her through the door, slipping his shoes off at the bottom of the stairs. "Where's her room again?" Alex locked the front door and came up the stairs behind them, his fluorescent pink socks padding quietly on the cream carpet. "Opposite mine, up the stairs." Luke nodded and turned left on the landing, knocking her door open with his knee. "Liar." He scoffed when he saw the silhouettes of the guitars in the corner, and set her down on the bed gently, pulling a blanket over her. Curiousity got the better of him, and with a glance at her sleeping form, he couldn't help but move to the desk in the corner, picking up a couple of the loose sheets sitting there. Pages and pages of writing stared back at him, clearly the work of an extremely talented writer. He peered over his shoulder at her, smiling when he caught sight of the moon lighting up her face. "Hey man, you coming?" Alex appeared at the door, jeans swapped for a pair of sweats and a sunset curve t-shirt. Luke nodded, and grabbed his jacket off the end of Becca's bed before pulling her bedroom door closed gently, and walking past Alex to his room. Alex came into his little sister's bedroom, and pulled off her shoes gently, closing her curtains so she wouldn't be woken up too early. If dad was out, chances are he wouldn't be back til tomorrow evening. She deserved some extra rest. Becca listened as the door clicked shut, and smiled to herself. The weak scent of Luke's cheap ass cologne, and something that was unarguably boy, remained on her shirt, and she breathed it in, closing her eyes, and drifting back off to sleep.

[martianmoonboy]

Personality disorders develop early. How can we judge people for developing these problems as small children going through trauma?

Trigger warning for physical, emotional, and verbal abuse, as well as emotional invalidation and early depended problems. (My depended was another 4 year old when I was 4 and she was mean, lol). This involves childhood abandonment too.

I started showing signs of dpd as a small child.

I had a friend I was obsessed with at the age of 4. I needed her approval to feel good about anything, and it crushed me when she told me that she thought I looked weird because of my new glasses, which I was very proud of.

I remember that around age 7, I drew her a very big picture of a park with apple trees and taped it together, and she threw it on the ground, and I was devastated and went to go cry in the bathroom. My mother followed and angrily told me to get over it. I couldn't understand why she was angry at me for having feelings.

She left the church program I was a part of, so I started focusing on another girl who I had previously gotten very angry at for daring to sit next to to my friend, and obsessed over our friendship.

During this early childhood period, I had a lot of separation anxiety from my parents. I would cry when my dad had to go to the store, and felt terrified and empty when I found out that my mom would be helping out in the program and so I wouldn't know exactly where she was the whole time. She told me I couldn't go back and be upset about it because I already told her it was okay. She also threatened to leave whenever I would do anything she didn't like, including reacting negatively to myself or my brother having our hair pulled and being slammed into walls (with our mouths covered if we were screaming for her to stop), and one time she did leave for a few hours...

I remember that I would never eat cookies given to me before lunch by Sunday school teachers because my mom had said it wasn't okay, and absolutely told them I wouldn't no matter how many times they told me it was okay. I didn't want to get hurt or screamed at.

My brother did it and he didn't get in trouble, which definitely confused me. Speaking of my brother, I also learned that if he was mean, it was just as bad if I called him mean. I had to use the word "unkind."

I also refused to acknowledge what my mom did to me as wrong, because she would always tell me what I did wrong afterwards, and in order to remain attached and thus soothe my separation anxiety, I had to justify to myself that my mom was always a good person who, in her words, just "lost her patience." I would be angry at other mothers who displayed the same traits, though, and vilify them for the day in my mind. I had to overlook abuse to survive emotionally.

I saw her mistakes as understandable due to a mixture of her manipulation and my own emotional survival, but couldn't handle my own mistakes and felt my self esteem crushed by them. When I found out around age 9 that I couldn't do math on my own anymore, I didn't want to try before being shown what to do, and this caused me to have a lot of arguments with my dad. I was previously always being treated like a gifted child by everyone due to very good memory that my mom nurtured in order to prove to her mother that she was a competent teacher, so I thought I must just be bad at some things. I didn't want to try only to fail. I needed instant gratification in order to feel good enough, and I had really bad self esteem when I wasn't the best... I kind of gave up when I wasn't being pushed in some areas, for a really long time, until I almost failed my math class in the 8th grade.

So as you can see, I developed several traits of DPD early on:

• Relying on one person to tell me if I was worth something

• along with criticism piercing my soul relationship hopping if someone leaves (disclaimer that now that I'm in a committed relationship I don't do that anymore)

• a reluctance to express my feelings that developed from being shamed for them, being unable to do anything without being given permission for fear that I would be hurt later on for it

• submissiveness to avoid being abused

• inability to do work on my own because without guidance I didn't think I could do anything new

I didn't realize that I wasn't neurotypical. My maladaptive behaviors were all defense mechanisms to protect me. I was wired for intense anxiety already based on my genetics... so when my mom made me her punching bag nearly every day for 3 years, and began disregarding my feelings from a young age, I had to protect myself somehow.

How are we supposed to heal from personality disorders when they develop so young? Seriously...

Also, why are we judged for adapting to complex trauma as if we could help having to survive? Shouldn't our abusers be shamed for making us have to adapt in ways that were harmful to ourselves and others?

I'm so tired.

[kusagrasskusa]

Light X Reader Part 2 - Betrayal

Part 1, Part 2

READ THIS PARAGRAPH IF YOU'VE RESD PART 2 BEFORE- So this paragraph used to talk about how I kept on remembering to save my drafts, and evidence of which isbthat when this was posted, it wasn't finished. I completed the whole story, and it was pretty long, but it all went to shit. So if you read this story before, feel free to check out the real ending.

@comradedani you brought me deep into the Death Note fandomm- And again, sorry for the low quality writing. I'm writing this at school lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Y/N, Y/N help! I messed up!" B/N yelled as he busted in Y/N's room and opened his schoolbag. He pulled out a piece of paper and turned it towards his older sister so she can see. Y/N sounds around in her chair, facing her brother.

"Jesus, you scared me!" Y/N huffed, reading the paper B/N had. Turns out he had a report card in his hand; one with 3 Fs, 2 Ds, and 3 Bs. "And those grades scare me more, what the hell," Y/N stated, a sly smile appearing on her face. "Dad's gonna be pissed when he reads that, haha," Y/N laughed, leaning back in her chair.

"It's not funny! You know dad's all about good grades and ever since his detective work increased, he's been more stressed about grades! I don't want to get grounded," B/N retorted, making a pouty face. He put his report card back into his bag and picked up his bag. "And dad usually comes home at this time. You know he's gonna be curious."

"Well, just don't tell him you have your report card," Y/N said casually, returning to her homework in front of her. She leaned on the desk, writing down answers as if they nothing.

"Oh, why didn't I think of that," B/N rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Mom gets emails from my school, Y/N. She's gonna find out about and tell dad, y'know." B/N sighed, fumbling with his hoodie strings. He opened the door and spoke, "dad's gonna be home soon, so bye I guy." He then left.

Y/N sighed, trying continuing to work on her assignments as if nothing happened. Although her focus was never fully on her assignments anyway, and our reader should know why. It's hard to concentrate when your mind keeps on going to the man you love who you felt betrayed you. Though to be fair, Light and her were never dating to begin with however Light was completely aware of Y/N's feelings towards him yet he choose to put her in that situation: where she had to be calm even though she was hurting inside.

Y/N took a deep breath before leaning back in her chair and shutting her eyes tightly. Don't let the tears fall, you're too strong for this, she told herself. For the past week, she's been feeling nonstop regret and of course, sorrow. Not to mention pure jealousy of Misa Misa; a pretty, popular model/actor. She refused to question how Light got to meet a women like that, since afterall Light was popular as well.

"You know what? I overreacting," Y/N said to herself, standing up sharply in her chair. She stretched her arms before taking a deep breath and putting on a smile. "There's more important things to worry about; like that damb Kira case. All I need to do is just call him and ask to meet up, right? He's forgiving..." She told herself, taking a deep breath again to ease her anxiety.

For the past week, Y/N had been thinking nonstop about her yelling at Light. She hadn't seen him sense, and there's been no communication between them. From a certain perspective, it almost seems like they really are overdramatic and acting very edgy, which is definitely true to an extent. However two friends arguing over something that's pretty serious for the first time is bound to cause some trouble. And when one friend feels almost betrayed, it gets worse.

Anyway let's go to B/N after about 15 minutes.

"Good afternoon, B/N," the tall, H/C haired man with grey ends due to stress, spoke. He held a nice smile on his face as he took his jacket and put on the coat hanger then took off his shoes. B/N smiled nervously, chuckling unsteadily as he waved.

"Hi, dad! Uh...how was your day?" B/N asked, holding his report card to his chest. His dad raised a brow and snickered.

"Strange. You never care to talk to me when I get home. Only when you're hungry or your mom says no to something," he teased, making B/N huff and cross his arms. His dad chuckled, "I'm joking. Anyway, what's that you're holding?"

B/N smirked nervously holding out the paper for his dad to grab, which he did. "I got my report card today, haha." His dad scanned over it for a few moments, frowning and his eye brows furrowed together.

"Are you skipping school son? I've never seen grades this bad and you've had rough years," he mumbled as he walked towards the living room. He say on the couch and sighed loudly, making a shiver crawl down B/N's spine.

"Nuh-no... It's just that the teachers have been putting a lot of pressure on us since we're about to go into highschool, heh."

"I don't understand. Are you just not understanding the material or are they putting too much work out?" The dad looked his son right into his eyes, making the atmosphere a bit more tense. B/N felt weak under his eyes; it's not because he was scared of his dad, it's because his dad has really high expectations and he's scared of failing them.

"Both. It's both," he mumbled, fumbling with his hoodie strings and tapping them together, making that quiet metallic clinking sound. "And I've always struggled with math, too, y'know. I don't understand how they expect me to know the Pythagoras Theorem after simply giving me 5 assignments daily about it."

The dad stood up from the couch. There was a moment of silence before he spoke: "I have to make a phone call. If you go to the trunk of the car, I got you something in a plastic bag. Don't tell your mom," he smiled to his son as he walked away, leaving B/N both confused and curious.

A few hours later and Y/N hummed to herself, watching a movie featuring her favorite actor on the couch besides her dad. He was on his laptop typing away on the keyboard while occasionally glancing at the TV. B/N was in the corner of the living room, playing a new game his dad just bought him on his Nintendo. It was quiet aside from the TV playing, at least until their dad spoke up.

"So, son, I forgot to mention who I called earlier. I asked if a coworker of mine would mind tutoring you for a bit."

"You...what?" B/N asked, pausing his game and turning back to see his dad. "Why?" Y/N gasped quietly, covering her mouth to stop herself from laughing. Her little brother glared at her and their dad, his nose scrunching up from annoyance.

"Well, you don't understand the material, right? That's why?" He explained, staying the obvious. Y/N giggled at his tone.

"Who is it, dad?" Y/N asked, rubbing her tired eyes.

"Oh, I won't say. But you two have met before," he replied, smirking playfully at his daughter as if he was planning something. "That's all the hints you get.~"

"Okay, now I'm so curious," Y/N mumbled, yawning. Who do I know who he works with? I know he works with the Kira investigation and I never met anyone there, I don't think. She shrugged it off as she kinda didn't care too much about whatever would happen in her brother's life since why should she? "Whatever. I'm tired," she mumbled as she rubbed her tired eyes. Her father looked over at her and smiled.

"Heh heh, alright darling. Get your sleep; you have a long day of school tomorrow." Her dad pat her head as she giggled and stood up. She hugged him before mumbling a goodnight. She then headed up the stairs, though she overheard her dad speak as she was walking. "Your tutor lives in the same neighborhood so he will come over shortly after you come home."

Y/N hummed as their conversation went quiet due to her being too far up the stairs to hear. She found her way into her room and closed the door behind her whenever she got in. Huff. Her hair was lifted from her shoulders as she put her hair in a ponytail in order to keep it from being too messy when she wakes up.

Layjng in bed, she furrowed her eyebrows together and sighed. Four entire weeks since she's talked to Light all because he found a girlfriend. Y/N felt more embarrassed of it then upset; well, she's still jealous but she knew she didn't have to avoid her friend of years because of something so stupid. What happened to the Y/N who would tell herself that even if he found a girlfriend, she would be better? Those were good times. And she would tell herself that she would call up Light and ask to meet up as friends but she gets so anxious about it and that anxiety turns into embarrassment.

It was kinda hardt to fall asleep with thoughts circulating her mind all night. But eventually, sleep came, and she sokn found herself waking up a couple hours later, going to school, and then coming back home.

Y/N waved goodbye to her friends as they dropped her off at her house. "Bye! Haha," she giggled as one of them stuck their whole body out the car window to yell out goodbye and wave her hands.

"Bye-bye, girl!" She yelled playfully as the car drove away to drop off her other friends. Y/N giggled again as she watched them pass and playfully rolled her eyes before spinning around. She took her time walking to the front door and pulling out her keys, as the door isn't unlocked ever and her parents are at work. Yet as she stuck her key into the house, the front door cracked open.

"....What the fuck," she mumbled as she took her key out of the door and pushed herself inside. It was so quiet which was weird considering B/N was loud as hell on the couch when he got home. He got home like 15 minutes before she did too. "B/N!" Her voice called out as she shut the front door and locked it.

"I'm in the kitchen!" Thank God he isn't dead. Well, sorta thank God. Y/N smirked as she set down her bookbag, took off her shoes, and took out her phone. She checked her notifications as she walked into the kitchen/dining room.

"You forgot to lock the front door," she said as she giggled, looking up from her phone. Bam! The phone hit the floor as Y/N's eyes stayed on Light's, almost like a staring contest was happening between them. Well, it sorta actually was because the brunette who was assisting B/N on the dining table spoke up once Y/N blinked.

"You blinked; I win, heh heh," he smirked. "Hey, Y/N! Long time, no see, huh?" He leaned back in his chair, waving his hand towards the stunned girl.

"I, uh...I wanted to call and meet up with you but I thought you were mad," Y/N said shyly as she picked up her phone. Blush dusted her cheeks as she examined her phone to check if it were broken.

"Same here, actually. I'm happy it's not like that."

"Muh-Me too, heh..."

Y/N but her bottom lip nervously as the room went into an awkward silence. B/N sighed before breaking the painful silence, much to Y/N's relief. "I think I understand this now," he said. "To find A, it's C^2 - B^2 = A^2. To find C, it's A^2 + B^2 = C^2."

"Very good!" Light smiled warmly as he pulled B/N practice assignment from him and examined it. He had a red pen in his hand and with it he marked a few things. "You did very well on these, apart from 3, 7, 8, and 12. But then again, those questions were hard for me to solve when I was in 8th grade."

"Really? But you're so smart! And I'm actually in 7th grade, advanced math," B/N said proudly with a cheerful look on his face.

"It really shows how smart you are, heh heh," Light chuckled as he handed back his assignment to B/N. "Can you try these again? I circled the part of the equation you messed up with so hopefully it helps."

Y/N was across the room in the pantry to grab chips. Once she grabbed her favorite kind, she headed out of the kitchen and towards her room. Light looked over at her leaving and sighed. Suddenly, he heard Ryuk talk. "You do realize that this is a good thing, right? You can spend more time with the Death Note and watching the police this way." Light couldn't reply of course, but in his mind he disagreed. After all, he knows she's bad at remembering time and he would have an alias every time he's with her, so he could lie to get out.

For example, let's say he was accused of somehow killing 5 people one day between 5-6pm. But at 3-5pm, he was with Y/N. Because she can't remember time very good at all, he could easily say he was with her while the killings were happening, and with her agreeing because she doesn't know any better. Y/N can also easily be turned into an abused puppy in his eyes; a loyal punching bag who he can manipulate for certain circumstances.

"While your doing that, I'm going to use the restroom," Light excused himself as he stood up from the table and walked away. He walked over and up the stairs, down the hall and to a certain person's room. Once he got to the door, he softly knocked on it. "May I come it?"

Y/N on the other side jumped from the sudden arrival. "Just a second!" She called out as she took her hair out of the bun and fixed it, because let's face the fact that a lot of us are very insecure about our looks. She quickly fixed her shirt because calling out, "come in!" A mere moment later and her door was open to reveal a tall brunette.

"You look lovely today," he complimented as he stepped inside her room and shut the door behind him. Y/N blushed a little bit.

"Thanks, heh. Um...you look nice too," she replied nervously.

"Don't be nervous with me please. You know I'm not mad at you. Actually, I came in here to formally apologize," he spoke as he walked up closer and bowed in respect. "The least I could have done was call you about her earlier that day, or told you I was seeing someone way ahead of that. It was foolish of me not to and led to both of our hears being hurt. I'm sorry." Y/N frowned as she comprehended what he just said then sighed. She walked up to him and grabbed the sides of his face and pulled him up.

"You're face is so squishy, sir," she said as Light stood up all the way, however Y/N didn't go of him. "It's weird someone so very collected and serious became friends with someone as dimbas a bag of rocks. I mean, have a told you about how my IQ test came back negative? Because it did."

Light chuckled as her comment, playing with a strand of her hair. "Did this really happen? You're so weird sometimes, haha." Y/N giggled softly before frowning.

"Hey, y'know, I really wasn't mad. The first week we stopped talking was so painful but I knew I had to make it up to you somehow. Yet even though I really wanted to just call you and have a drink of coffee with a long conversation full of pleasant topics and laughs, I was so scared. It's embarrassing," she confessed, keeping her head low.

Pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, Light smiled down at her. "Then I hope today takes all that weight off your shoulders."

"It did, heh heh," Y/N smiled as she looked him in the eyes. With how close they are, the eye contact, and the smiles, they seem almost suggestive towards one another. Or at least in the eyes of none other than-

"Ew!" Yelled B/N from the doorway. He must have opened the door while they were distracted. Y/N furrowed her eyebrows together and glared at her brother whereas Light just smiled. "All I wanted was help, not this teenage romance scene. I finished all my problems by the way, ugh," B/N spoke, sounding dead.

"I'll be down there in a moment," Light responded as B/N walked away. He turned towards Y/N again; "well, it was nice seeing you. Your dad is paying me for this so I should probably get back to work." Y/N nodded as she hugged him softly.

"Alright. Make sure you let me know when your done or free," she responded before she pulled away from the hug.

"Will do," Light replied as he pat her head. "I'll see you later." Light waved goodbye as he walked out of her room and shut the door behind him.

Y/N took a deep breath to ease her nerves. That's it, she thought. This man is about to be my husband-

[lamptracker]

FIC: This Seat Taken? (Seo Changbin/Female Reader)

Literally the only reason I got this done was because I broke my toe and have an abundance of sitting-around time. So... yay, I suppose.

Onward.

Title: This Seat Taken?

Pairing: Seo Changbin (Stray Kids)/Female Reader

Summary: The reader finds herself falling in love with her best friend Changbin.

Warnings: A few potty words but other than that, not much really.

Author’s Note(s): This takes place in a world where A. There have only ever been eight members of Stray Kids (we do not talk about the AT&T of people) and B. Minho’s cats live in the dorms with them. 

Which brings up two questions: Why don’t Minho’s cats live in the dorms? And have they fixed that stupid curtain yet??

As per tradition I tag @jisungiesbunnie​ I keep bringing this up in the Discord lol

The very last thing you wanted was to be part of a cliche.

They were everywhere. The “enemies to lovers.” The old standby “oh my God, they were roommates.” The good old fashioned “best friends to lovers.”

You wanted absolutely no part of it.

So why were you in danger of falling prey to “best friends to lovers”?

And moreover, why were you falling hopelessly in love with Seo Changbin?

**

You met Seo Changbin at a very vulnerable time in your life.

You were sixteen years old, and it was your first day at your new high school. You knew absolutely nobody. And since you were the new kid in school, there wasn’t a soul that wanted anything to do with you. Nobody wanted to sit near you in class. Even the teachers didn’t call on you, which was super unfortunate since you totally knew the answer in your math class. That wouldn’t have stung so much if the kid she called on had gotten it right.

So, at lunch, you found a table in the far corner, nobody around for what seemed like miles. This is as good a spot as any, you thought as you settled in. 

You were partway through your cheese sandwich when you suddenly heard a deep voice say, “This seat taken?”

You looked up to find… a boy. He was short - not much taller than you were - but he had a lean yet muscular build and kind eyes.

“I don’t suppose so,” you muttered quietly.

The boy sat across the table from you. “I don’t recognize you,” he said. “Are you new?”

You nodded.

“Ah! Okay. Well, my name is Changbin, Seo Changbin?”

“(y/n),” you replied. “You’re the first person all day that’s actually said more than five words to me. And those five words have usually been get out of my way.”

Changbin scoffed. “That’s terrible. Look, some of these people can be real jerks, I-”

“Hey, Changbin! What’re you doing talking to that loser?”

The voice belonged to a boy who was in your social studies class, one who’d shoved you out of the way in the hallway to get to the lunchroom first.

“She’s not a loser, she’s just new. And she seems really nice. So if you can’t be nice to her, just go sit down.”

The boy rolled his eyes as he walked away. 

“Thank you,” you said shyly.

“No problem.” Changbin flashed you a lopsided grin; you couldn’t help giggling in response.

“I have a really hard time making friends,” you admitted. “And my family moves around for my dad’s job, that doesn’t help.”

“Well, I am honored to be your friend. I mean, if you’ll let me.”

You smiled warmly at him. “Of course.”

**

The two of you were thick as thieves after that. It wasn’t long before you were over at each others’ houses all the time - it got to the point where your mom was picking up Changbin’s favorites at the store - and texting each other constantly. You didn’t let a day go by without at least texting each other once. 

Even when you graduated from high school and went your separate ways - you went off to college, studying communications and mass marketing; he auditioned for a new K-Pop group that was forming - you made sure to talk every day.

You were there for each other when times were good - when you got accepted to your dream school, when Changbin was selected for Stray Kids. And when times were bad - Changbin was really down when Minho was eliminated, you’d had to have knee surgery right after you graduated college, and let’s not forget every failed girlfriend he’d had and every failed boyfriend you’d racked up.

He helped you find your job, too. You were six months out of college and still hadn’t found a job yet.

“I’m starting to think I majored in the wrong thing,” you lamented to Changbin over coffee one afternoon. “I loved my studies, but I just can’t seem to land even an interview. I thought communications was a growing industry, but…”

“I’m so sorry,” Changbin replied. “Let me see what I can do.”

“What you can do?” you echoed. “What can you do?”

“Give me a week,” he assured you. Shrugging, you turned back to your coffee.

“My mom wants me to join a temp agency,” you said. “If you can’t find something for me by this time next week, I’m going to.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Two days later, you’d gotten a call from an administrative assistant at JYPE. Your resume came across their desk, see, and looking over your credentials they thought you’d be perfect for a job that just opened up. Well, have you ever heard of the new group, Stray Kids? You’d be their assistant, pretty much. JYPE would book appearances and organize tours; you would be responsible for booking flights and hotels and meal reservations and whatnot. You would also live in the dorm with them - you’d get your own room, of course, far away from the rest of the guys (they’re all nice but Chan snores, a lot of them are talkers and Minho curses in his sleep). You might be asked to do a little light housekeeping, maybe cook on occas-

“I’ll take it!” you exclaimed. 

The assistant laughed. “You don’t even know how much we’re paying you.”

“Don’t care,” you replied. “I’ve been jobless for half a year, and I have student loans. I’ll take it.”

Later that afternoon, you were enjoying a cup of coffee at your favorite shop, looking over the email from JYPE detailing your contract.

“This seat taken?”

“Seo Changbin! You did it, you son of a bitch.”

“Did what?” Changbin sat across from you and took a sip of his coffee, thoroughly confused.

You chuckled. “JYPE called me today. I’m going to be Stray Kids’ official assistant. I’ll be booking flights and hotels for appearances and the tour, I’ll be living with you guys and-”

“What!” Changbin rose from his seat and ran around to your side of the table, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “That’s amazing! I thought they’d just get you a job in the office or answering fanmail or something, I wasn’t expecting that!” He pressed a quick kiss to the top of your head. “Okay, um. Fair bit of warning about the guys’ sleeping habits, uh-”

“They told me about a couple. Uh… Chan snores and Minho swears in his sleep.”

“Hyunjin and Jisung talk in their sleep,” Changbin added. “Felix always has to be hugging someone or something. Seungmin always, just, screams right as he falls asleep. Jeongin’s a sleepwalker, that’s super fun. We had to put like four locks on the door, we lock every other one because he just goes down the line and thinks he’s unlocking all of them. And-”

“You talk in your sleep too,” you finished. “Most of the time you’re looking for something or you’re lost, but I have definitely heard you do it.”

Changbin looked slightly wounded. “I was going to say I don’t think I do anything, but… okay, I guess.”

You laughed. “Hey, um, thanks. For helping me out. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem.” He squeezed your shoulder again before sliding out of the booth.

**

Some people who fall hopelessly in love with their best friend will tell you they can’t pinpoint the exact reason why they fell in love. 

You can, though.

It was a year after you first moved into the dorm… and it was all Lee Minho’s fault.

You were going through the bedrooms, gathering up laundry.

“Just once,” you muttered to yourself, “if these morons could get their underpants in the vicinity of the hamper, I’d be happy.”

“They’re not mine.”

You jumped, nearly bonking the top of your head on the top bunk of one of the beds. “Damn it, Minho, you scared the crap out of me.”

Minho chuckled quietly. “Sorry. How’s it going?”

“Peachy. I’m so glad I went to college so I could clean up after a bunch of overgrown children.”

“Oh, come on. We’re not that bad, are we?”

You laughed. “No. I’m just… I guess I’m grouchy today, that’s all. Didn’t sleep well last night. I actually really do like this job, I’m grateful that Changbin helped me get it.”

Minho nodded slightly. “He's going out again tonight?”

“Yep. This girl he met at the grocery store, Ha-Rin? That might be right, I’m not sure. I can’t keep track anymore.”

“Wow,” Minho said. “He’s been really unlucky in the girls department lately, hasn’t he?”

“He really has, I don’t get it.”

“Do you think… do you think they’re jealous of you?”

You shrugged. “It’s possible. I’m a girl who lives with him and has been friends with him for years. Plus I am a snack.” You made a passing motion over your body. “Who wouldn’t be jealous of this?”

Minho laughed loudly. “I might be out of line here, and feel free to punch me for it, but… but do you ever get jealous of them?”

You wrinkled your nose in confusion. “What?”

“I mean, you guys have been friends since you were sixteen. You’ve never wondered what it was like to date him?”

You scoffed. “No! Absolutely not. He’s my best friend, that would be so weird. Like dating my brother or something, gross.”

Minho laughed again, raising his hands in a sort-of defensive gesture. “Okay! Sorry I brought it up.”

But that night, you had a weird dream. You were at your senior prom (in real life, you and Changbin had skipped it to have a Marvel movie marathon). You were wearing a beautiful royal blue dress, with sequins - not too many, just enough to make it classy. 

You were slow dancing with… someone. You couldn’t tell who. It was dark, and your arms were wrapped around their neck, your head nestled on their shoulder; their arms were wrapped firmly around your waist. 

“Close your eyes,” a soft, yet vaguely familiar voice whispered.

You did; the person holding you unwrapped one arm from your waist, tipped your chin up, and gently pressed their lips to yours. You quickly melted into the kiss, pressing yourself closer to them as the kiss deepened slightly.

The other person pulled away slowly; you opened your eyes…

...and found yourself staring at none other than Changbin.

You sat up with a start, and you were a side sleeper, so you nearly fell out of bed.

“God damn you, Minho,” you muttered as you pulled the blanket over your head. “I can’t tell him. I can never tell him. I don’t want to lose his friendship.”

So you made two solemn vows: You vowed to punch Lee Minho in the face the next time you saw him, and you vowed never to tell Changbin how you felt about him. 

You settled for giving Minho a dirty look over breakfast the next morning. As for the other thing, well...

**

Every time Changbin had a new girlfriend, your heart dropped ever-so-slightly in your chest. And always twice: Once, when he’d first start dating her; and once, when she broke up with him.

It was practically identical every single time: He would meet a girl. He would rush into the living room, a big smile plastered on his face, and exclaim: “I met the most amazing girl!” He would list off her qualities - pretty, smart, funny, ordered the same obscure thing from the Thai place that he liked, etc. They’d start dating. He’d come home after their third date and proclaim: “I think she might be The One, y’know? She’s - oh, wipe that look off your face, Lee Minho; I mean it this time.” Things would go really well for a brief amount of time. The longest was five months; the shortest, two weeks. 

And when it inevitably went south, that was practically identical every single time as well. He’d trudge through the door, kick off his shoes, slump down on the couch, and say: “Okay, Minho, you can say I told you so now.” 

Minho would always refrain, to his credit, except for when Changbin and Ha-Rin (the grocery store girl) broke up; he did not like Ha-Rin. That was a really long story. But let’s just say if cats think you’re evil, so will Minho; and his cats absolutely hated Ha-Rin. (Especially Dori, and Dori loves everybody.)

Anyway, after giving Minho the chance to gloat (which, as previously mentioned, he only did once), Changbin would give you a Look™ and you would follow him into your room. The other guys knew not to bother you in there, so it was a safe place. He’d slump down onto the bed and smile sadly at you while patting the space next to him.  

“This seat taken?” you’d ask, mimicking one of his favorite lines. He would shake his head ever-so-slightly. And you’d sit, and open your arms, and he’d fall into them, sobbing all the while.

Sometimes, he would tell you why they broke up with him. They were all terrible reasons, too: Just wanted to see what it was like to date an Idol. Wanted to make their ex jealous. Needed a date to this work/school/family thing. Just trying to get closer to Chan (twice), Hyunjin (four times), Jeongin (three times), Minho’s cats (once; that girl was weird). In at least one case, it was because of you. (That was why he and Ha-Rin broke up; he never told you that was why, but she did. Seems she made him choose between her or being friends with you and he picked you. Of course, you’d never tell him you knew.)

And every single time, your heart shattered right along with his, because you knew that you would never do this to him. So why didn’t he know that?

**

Those feelings only solidified the night you got dumped.

You had been dating Daeshim for roughly eight months or so. You’d met at the grocery store, and were immediately drawn to him. In hindsight, you admittedly pulled a Changbin: You fell for him, hard and fast. The two of you were practically inseparable. You’d kissed on the third date, he said “I love you” after a month, you were already making plans for you future house (try to find something within a few miles of the dorms), your wedding (he didn’t bat an eye when you said that instead of bridesmaids, you wanted your eight roommates to stand up with you), even your kids’ names (Nabi for a girl, Yu-jun for a boy). He not only wasn’t jealous of the fact that you lived with eight men, he embraced it. “They were here before I was,” he’d said, “so why would that bother me?”

Daeshim was your person.

Until… he wasn’t.

The guys were all at the studio, practicing choreography for their upcoming music video, so you were home alone. Perfect environment for wallowing.

You were on the couch, curled up in a giant blanket, sobbing so hard that at one point you were afraid you’d cry your brain right out of your nose. You were a hot mess - your hair was disheveled, your eyes and nose were red and puffy, your face was wet with tears and sweat and God knows what else. You did not look cute.

And, naturally, that was the moment Changbin came home.

“Oh, no, hey,” he said softly. “Did something happen with you and Daeshim?”

You nodded hastily.

“Want me to make the other guys go away for a bit?”

You shook your head. “They’re okay.”

“Well… do you want to go to your room? We can talk there.”

You sniffled as you reached for the box of tissues. “Okay.”

Changbin helped you off the couch and gingerly led you to your room as the other guys came spilling into the living room. Felix started to ask what was going on, but Changbin just shook his head and silently mouthed I’ll tell you later.

Changbin carefully helped you onto the bed. Reversing the roles slightly, you smiled sadly at him and patted the seat next to you.

Changbin couldn’t help but smile a small smile as he said, “This seat taken?” You shook your head; he settled down next to you. “Okay, what’s going on?”

You opened your mouth to tell him what had happened, but a loud sob came out instead.

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” Changbin soothed as he wrapped his arms around you. “Take your time, tell me when you’re ready.”

You wrapped your arms around his waist, burying your head in his chest as a fresh wave of tears came. Changbin said nothing, just held you as you cried, occasionally rubbing soothing circles over your back.

Finally, you sat up and took a deep breath. “He cheated on me.”

Changbin raised an eyebrow. “He did what now?”

“I caught him,” you explained. “I went to the coffee shop down the street to get a drink and one of those croissants with the chocolate in the middle, you know? And I did a little work while I was there, too, figured it’d be nice to get out for a bit. Anyway, I walked out to come home and… and I saw them.”

“Oh, no.”

Just when you thought you had no tears left, an altogether new supply started welling up in your eyes. “He met someone at work,” you said. “They were put on a project together, they got to talking, one thing led to another. He says he loves me but he loved them too and he couldn’t choose. So… you know… I chose for him.”

“And this person still wants to date him?”

“Went back to the cafe to get my laptop charger, saw them kissing when I came back out.”

“Ugh. Wow, (y/n), I’m so sorry.”

You snorted as you tightened your grip around his waist, resting your head on his chest again. “Usually this is the other way around, I’m the one consoling you after a breakup. Must be nice for you to have the situation reversed for a switch.”

“Actually, it kills me to see you like this. You don’t deserve that, I mean nobody does, but especially you. You are amazing, you know that? You’re sweet, you’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met, you’re completely hilarious. You’ve done two things that I thought were impossible, you can out-drink Jisung and you can out-weird Seungmin. And, do you even know how pretty you are? Daeshim fucked up, and royally at that. Any guy would be so lucky to have you.”

You couldn’t help but smile through your tears at his words. But, you knew they were just that: words. He didn’t really feel that way about you. He was just trying to make you feel better.

Or was he?

Nonetheless, he only liked you as a friend, as far as you knew, and he was just helping lift your spirits.

He was successful at that, but he was even more successful at making you fall even deeper in love with him. The feelings you thought you’d gotten rid of when you and Daeshim started dating not only resurfaced, but intensified.

You sighed deeply, finally allowing yourself to relax in Changbin’s arms. His grip was firm but not too tight, just enough to make you feel safe and protected. He didn’t say anything else, he just allowed you to relax; occasionally he’d give you a gentle squeeze. Before too long, you were dozing.

It was only slightly weird that it was one of the best nights of sleep you’d ever had.

You woke up late the next morning, alone, but there was a glass of juice and two muffins on the bedside table. Had to go to practice, the handwritten note under the glass read. Sorry I couldn’t be here to have breakfast with you, so I figured I’d at least feed you. They’re blueberry muffins, Felix baked them fresh this morning. Take the day off if you need to, I’ll explain everything if JYP asks. Please call if you need anything.

Love, Binnie

You smiled softly to yourself as you bit into one of the muffins. Changbin was so sweet, and wanted to make sure you were taken care of. Just like a good friend should.

You scoffed slightly. Friend. That was all he’d ever be. Better get used to it...

**

Not long after you and Daeshim broke up, Changbin started dating this girl he’d met… somewhere. You didn’t know. Or, honestly, care. But her name was Min Jee, and she was way different from the other girls he's dated. She was pretty for sure, but she was funny and sweet and everything Changbin had been looking for. (And Minho’s cats? Adored her.)

Plus, she didn’t seem to be threatened by you in the slightest, so that was a definite plus.

You tried so hard to be happy for them. You even went out for coffee with Min Jee a few times, just the two of you, while the guys were practicing. That whole funny and sweet thing was no act - she really was that nice and that hilarious. She was touched that you wanted to be your friend, and you could have been her best friend, except for the fact that you guys had one thing in common: You were both madly in love with her boyfriend.

Two months into their relationship, the dynamic changed. 

“You’re home early,” you said as Changbin gently closed the door behind him. “I didn’t expect you back until later, how’s Min Jee?”

“We broke up.” Changbin hung his keys by the door and started into the kitchen.

You sighed. “Oh, Binnie, again? I am so sorry this keeps happening to you.”

Changbin shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. If it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be, you know?”

For some reason - to this day, you have no idea why - but for some reason, this was the moment you finally snapped.

“You know, you go out with a lot of girls,” you started. “You always fall for them really quickly, and really hard. And you always end up single again after a few weeks. And it - you know what, Changbin? It breaks my heart, it really does. I thought Min Jee was different, but looks like I was wrong, you know? It absolutely breaks my heart to see this happen to you over and over and over again, because you deserve so much better than that. You deserve someone that truly loves you for who you are, not just because you’re an idol. You deserve someone who cares about you, who’s there for you when things are rough, who just… who loves you with every fiber of her being. I can almost guarantee that there’s not a single girl out there who can be even a fraction of those things, who can even come close to loving you as much as I do.”

Changbin’s eyes grew wide as your rant came to a close. He just stared at you for a moment, jaw slack, not saying a word…

...and that was the moment when your brain realized what your mouth had done.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

You know that thing you were never ever ever EVER going to tell him? That thing you were going to take to the grave with you?

Yeah, you just realized your greatest fear: You opened your mouth, and out it went. 

Look, brain, you said to yourself. You can beat me up in a minute, okay? For now, though…

“I have to get out of here,” you said. You turned around and ran out the door, not even bothering to pull it closed behind you. You ran out the front door of the dorms, down the street, to the park just at the end of the block. You didn’t stop running until you reached the small pond near the back of the park - not too many people knew about this pond. It was small and clean and had a bench off to one side of it, facing the water. 

Changbin found it one day, not long after he’d moved into the dorms. It was the perfect place to go to catch a breath of fresh air. He brought you here not long after you’d moved in; the two of you came here often to talk about things you didn’t want the other guys to overhear.

You slumped down on the bench, buried your head in your hands, and started sobbing.

Do your worst, brain, you said. I deserve it.

Of course you do, moron. How could you say that? How could you tell him you love him? There is no possible way he loves you back, you know that, right? You’re probably responsible for him being dumped so many times anyway, they’re all jealous of you. Even Min Jee, she didn’t REALLY like you. She was pretending, for his sake. He just hasn’t figured that out yet. You know what you just did, right? You ruined any chance of a romantic relationship with him, and not only that you’ve completely ruined your friendship. You are such a…

“This seat taken?”

You didn’t answer, instead you kept sobbing quietly into your hands. You thought that maybe if you ignored him, didn’t acknowledge his presence, he’d just… go away.

Weight settling onto the other end of the short bench told you that he did not just go away.

You heard Changbin heave a deep sigh before he started speaking. “Min Jee didn’t break up with me. I broke up with her. Uh, it was the most insane thing that set it off, too. Um, she was telling me all about her day. She always tells me all about her day. And she was telling me about her day, like she always does, and I caught myself thinking: Wow, I really do not care about this even a little bit.” Changbin chuckled quietly to himself before continuing. “I didn’t want to hear about her day. You know whose day I really wanted to hear about? Yours. Min Jee and I were together for two months and I was already tired of hearing about her day. I’ve talked to you every day since we were 16, and I never get tired of hearing about yours. Not even after you started living with us, and I got to see you every day. And I got to thinking: I have dated a lot of girls. But I think about them, even the ones I thought I loved, and I realize something: not one of them would have my back when things would be bad. When my anxiety is too high, none of them would have helped. When I felt like I had a bad performance, they’d just shrug and talk about themselves. Sure, they were pretty, and funny, and smart. But none of them cared about me the same way you do. Not even Min Jee.”

You raised your head, gently wiping your nose. “What are you trying to say, Changbin?”

Changbin gently grasped one of your hands in both of his. “I’m trying to say… I’m definitely saying that I love you too.”

Another tear slipped out of your eye as you stared at him. You tried to wrap your head around the ridiculousness of this situation:

Seo Changbin, the boy you loved and was sure did not love you back, just told you he loved you back.

Take THAT, brain.

“Um… really?” was all you could manage. 

Changbin smiled softly at you; your heart fluttered in your chest. “Really. And you… you really love me?”

“Yes.” You were taken aback a bit by how quickly and effortlessly you answered the question.

Changbin’s grip on your hand tightened ever-so-slightly. “Can I kiss you?” he asked, almost shyly.

“I’d really like that.”

He let go of your hand and cupped your cheeks in his hands, carefully wiping your tears away with the pads of his thumbs. He leaned in, licking his lips slightly before pressing them to yours.

You had dreamed of kissing him before. But even your dreams couldn’t have prepared you for the real thing, how wonderful and warm and sweet it was.

His lips were smooth and dry against yours; they parted slightly as one of his hands moved down to your waist. His other hand stayed cupped against your cheek, thumb lightly brushing your cheekbone. As the kiss deepened, you could feel him pour every emotion he’d been repressing - love, mostly, but also a sense of tenderness and longing - into it. 

Changbin broke the kiss, pulling back from you; he was smiling softly and looking at you as if you were the only other person on Earth.

Not even Daeshim had looked at you like that.

“Uh… wow,” you breathed. 

“Yeah,” he replied, “wow.”

You smiled back at him, resting a hand on his knee, and you leaned in to kiss him again when a sudden stiff breeze rustled through the surrounding trees. You shivered involuntarily.

“Cold?” he asked.

You nodded. “Can we go home?”

“Sure.” He stood first, gently pulling you to a standing position. You walked back to the dorms, hand-in-hand; before you left the park, he asked: “So, how was your day?”

You grinned as you told him all about your day. And he was smiling the entire time.

**

When the two of you got back to the dorms, it sure looked like you were alone. Changbin settled down on the couch; smiling up at you, he patted his lap.

“This seat taken?” you asked, a goofy grin plastered on his face. Changbin just raised an eyebrow as he grabbed you around the waist, pulling you into his lap. He lightly tickled your sides as you laughed, trying to settle into his lap but squirming instead.

“Okay, okay, I’ll be nice,” he said, gently kissing your cheek. “I’m so glad I finally get to hold you this way.”

“Me too.”

“You really weren’t going to say anything?”

“Were you?”

“Fair point, I guess… didn’t want to mess up the friendship either, huh?”

“You are correct, sir.”

A short pause, then: “Only one of them broke up with me because of you, you know.”

“Ha-Rin, yeah. She told me. That was totally unfair of her to make you choose.”

“She told you? She swore me to secrecy and then she told you?”

“Wanted to make me feel guilty, I suppose.” You shrugged. “Didn’t work, I hated her guts. I was never happy to see you get dumped, except when Ha-Rin dumped you.”

“Yeah, that was the only time Minho said I told you so, too.” Changbin chuckled, shaking his head. “You know what, though? None of that matters anymore, now that I’ve got you.”

You hummed happily, leaning back slightly in his arms. “You’re right. But I am dying to know what that one girl was thinking.”

“Which one?”

“Dating you to get closer to the cats?”

Changbin laughed. “Some things, you just never find out.” He nuzzled the side of your neck. “I love you, you know.”

“I love you too, Binnie.” You turned your head, letting his lips connect with yours. Just as the kiss was starting to deepen, you heard the unmistakable sound of someone clearing their throat.

You turned your head away… and there were Changbin’s seven band members, all arms crossed, staring down at you.

Changbin grinned sheepishly at them as you waved and said, “Hey, fellas.” Chan started to open his mouth, but you cut him off. “Since I know you guys, and I’m reasonably sure you guys had money riding on this situation, I’ll just settle the main bet and the prop bets. I told him first, extremely by accident but it was me. He broke up with Min Jee because he felt the same way, but that happened before I told him, not because of it. He kissed me first,  and… that should settle it, right?”

“Pay up, suckers.” Jeongin held out a hand as the other guys groaned and reached for their wallets.

“How did you know he was going to break it off with Min Jee but (y/n) would be the one to say it first?!” Jisung grumbled.

“I didn’t, I just guessed.” Jeongin shrugged. “Your money, sir?”

“Go buy yourself something nice,” Jisung said. “Anyway, now that that’s out of the way…I’m really happy for you guys, I really am. Even if you did cost me 20,000 won.”

The rest of the guys nodded in agreement, a few offering their congratulations.

“Look, we’ll leave you two kids alone, if that’s what you want?” Chan said, almost awkwardly.

“Nah, you guys have the living room.” You climbed out of Changbin’s lap, offering him your hand; he took it and you helped him stand. “We’ll just go make out in my room.”

Changbin laughed as you led him down the hallway. “Awfully presumptuous, aren’t we?”

“Look, I know what I want.” You pulled your door shut behind you. “And right now, I want to kiss you.” 

Changbin smiled as you sat down on your bed. “This seat taken?”

“Just get down here.” You pulled the front of his shirt; he fell onto the bed, hovering over you. 

“God, you’re amazing.” He leaned down, closing the gap between your mouths.

You cannot believe you were just never going to tell him how you felt. But now, as his hand slid up to your stomach, you are more than happy you did.

Was that a cliche? Of course it was. But a cliche was making you blissfully happy, so you didn’t seem to mind it so much.

[heavenly-roman]

Sibling Culture™️

Plot: A series of events in which Roman and Remus enact peak Sibling Culture™️

Warnings: swearing, mild sexual references (aka remus being remus), a lil bit of insecurity and sibling rivalry, sympathetic remus

Pairing(s): creativitwins, mentioned/implied intruality, mentioned/implied roceit

Word Count: 1634

if you liked this, consider buying me a coffee?

Taglist: @emo-disaster @shitpost-sides @gattonero17

(ao3 link!!!)

+++

The incessant knocking on Roman’s door persists, despite Roman calling for whoever it is (Remus, definitely Remus), to come in.

After another forty-five seconds of knocking, of which Roman seriously contemplates jumping out the window, the door swings open. Remus stands there, not making a noise, until Roman groans and looks at him.

His brother is t-posing - Roman genuinely considers closing the door in his face.

“What are you doing?” Roman asks.

“Simple.” Remus responds, keeping his position. “I’m t-posing in your doorway to establish dominance as the better twin.”

“You’re not the better twin.”

Remus makes an offended noise, and Roman watches him carefully. Normally, the younger twin would make some sort of offended or crude gesture. Today, however, he is unmoving. “I am clearly the better twin, as I am currently t-posting and establishing my dominance. Try to keep up, Ro.”

“Is that all you wanted?” Roman sighs.

“Oh, dinner’s ready too,” Remus shrugs and walks away, leaving the door wide open. Bewildered, Roman follows.

+++

H. Duke (9:31pm): roman

H. Duke (9:31pm): roman

H. Duke (9:32pm): roman!!

H. Duke (9:34pm): romAN

H. Duke (9:34pm): ROMAN

   H. Chandler (9:35pm): WHAT DO YOU WANT REMUS

   H. Duke (9:37pm): i lost the game >:D

H. Chandler (9:38pm): i will END YOU

+++

Roman sighs and reluctantly knocks on Remus’ door, calling to him, “Remus, can you help me?”

“Depends,” Remus swings the door open, mischievous smirk gracing his lips. “What do you want, and what can you do for me?”

Holding out his notebook and textbook, Roman explains, “can you check that my answers are right? I can’t be in the musical if I fail math again.”

Remus gives him an expectant look, so he continues, “I’ll do your laundry for a week.”

“A month.”

“Two weeks.”

“Deal,” Remus nods and holds out his hand to shake. Roman shakes it, then hands the books to his brother, who promptly flops down into his desk chair. Roman stands anxiously as Remus compares their homework, hope growing in his stomach when Remus looks up at him with a soft smile and nods.

“They look good, Ro,” he stands, giving the books back to his twin. “You’re getting the hang of it, I’m proud of you.”

“Oh, uh, thank you, Re.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Remus shrugs. “Now get out of my room, I’m playing Minecraft.”

+++

H. Duke (11:37am): hey beefbrain are u going out for lunch?

   H. Chandler (11:38am): yes why?

   H. Duke (11:39am): bring me back a cheeseburger

   H. Chandler (11:41am): why would I do that??? you literally just called me beefbrain???

   H. Duke (11:42am): remember that time I proofread your math homework so you could audition for the wizard of oz?

    H. Chandler (11:43am): ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

H. Chandler (11:43am): extra onion right?

+++

Roman skips up the stairs, shrugging his backpack off as he opens his bedroom door. Flicking on the light, he holds back a scream as he notices Remus lounging on his bed.

“Ah, Roman King, so nice of you to join me.”

“What are you doing in my room, Remus?” Roman rolls his eyes and closes the door. He crosses his arms over his chest as Remus stands.

“Let me paint you a picture, dear brother,” Remus begins dramatically pacing around the room - it’s times like this Roman can truly see the resemblance. “You see, I entered your room in pursuit of one thing, and one thing only -  your white crop top with the skull on it.”

“In the hamper.”

“Thank you. But while looking in your closet, I found something. Any guesses?”

Roman sighs, “Your green army jacket?”

“My green army jacket!” Remus pulls the coat from behind his back and holds it up for the older twin to see. “Anything to say for yourself, thief?”

“Remus, you literally just admitted to coming in here to steal a shirt of mine. I think I’m allowed to borrow a jacket.”

“Nuh uh, I have a right as your younger sibling to steal your clothes.”

“You’re only twenty minutes younger than me?”

“Doesn’t matter, still my birth right.”

“Fine,” Roman slumps down onto his bed. “Take the shirt, and wash it before you give it back?”

“You’re doing my laundry for the next week and a half so i think you’ll be washing it.”

+++

H. Chandler (10:03am): hey

H. Chandler (10:03am): wizard of oz auditions are today at lunch

     H. Duke (10:05am): and? why should I care?

H. Duke (10:06am): wait wait I get it

H. Duke (10:06am): break a leg I guess

    H. Chandler (10:11am): not what I was getting at, but thank you

H. Chandler (10:12am): you should audition

H. Chandler (10:12am): I think you’d make a great wizard

   H. Duke (10:15am): ur hilarious

H. Duke (10:15am): absolutely not

   H. Chandler (10:17am): why not?

   H. Duke (10:17am): I have no talent

H. Duke (10:18am): you’re the one mom and dad are super proud of, remember?

  H. Chandler (10:21am): Remus, shut up. You’re one of the most talented people I’ve ever met

H. Chandler (10:22am): you’re related to me, afterall

H. Chandler (10:22am): mom and dad are proud of you too, by the way

      H. Duke (10:25am): fine

  H. Chandler (10:27am): fine????

  H. Duke (10:28am): fine, i’ll audition, but only to get you off my back

   H. Chandler (10:32am): love you too!!!

  H. Duke (10:33am): you’re also buying me lunch

+++

The auditorium door barely closes behind him before Roman is bombarding him with questions.

“How did it go? What did they say? How do you feel? What-”

“Roman.”

“Sorry.

Remus motions for them to walk as he begins speaking, “It went well, I guess. They said I was ‘very promising’, whatever that means.”

“Remus, that’s amazing!” Roman exclaims. He fishes his car keys from his pocket and unlocks the door, sliding into the driver’s seat. “This calls for celebratory milkshakes.”

“We only do that when you get the role, dumbass.”

“But I know that you’re going to!”

“Look, Ro, I-” Remus sighs, turning in the passenger seat to face his brother. “Don’t get my hopes up, okay? The audition… felt good, yeah, but that doesn’t mean anything. I’ve seen you study really hard for tests and feel good about them and then fail, you know? Feeling good does nothing, and I barely prepared for it.”

The silence in the car was thick, both of them sitting in the truth of Remus’ words, before Roman speaks up again.

“Well,” He says, starting the car. “I guess we really do need those shakes.”

+++

H. Chandler (4:46pm): stop talking to patton, he’s my friend not yours

  H. Duke (5:07pm): sorry what was that? I was busy getting my dick sucked by patton

   H. Chandler (5:08pm): OH MY GOD

H. Chandler (5:08pm): TMI??????????????

  H. Duke (5:10pm): kidding kidding

         H. Chandler (5:11pm): oh thank god

   H. Duke (5:13pm): i was sucking HIS dick

   H. Chandler (5:14pm): REMUS WHAT THE FUCK

     H. Duke (5:17pm): im kidding again

H. Duke (5:17pm): we’re studying, calm down

    H. Chandler (5:18pm): don’t you EVER do that to me again

   H. Duke (5:26pm): yeah whatever

H. Duke (5:26pm): i’ll stop hanging out with patton if you stop hanging out with dee

H. Duke (5:27pm): hE’s mY fRiEnD nOt YoUrS

    H. Chandler (5:31pm): bold of you to assume dee and I are just friends

H. Chandler (5:32pm): but alright, I concede, as long as you never try to tell me about your real or imaginary sex life again

    H. Duke (5:38pm): deal

+++

“They posted the cast list!” Roman jumps up and down in front of his brother. “Should we go check together?”

Remus grimaces, “I think I’m good, you can check it yourself.”

“Remus,” Roman frowns. “A wise man once told me to always receive news first hand, and that’s why he would never check cast lists for me.”

“You already know your news.” Remus picks at the olives in his salad.

“But you don’t know yours!” Roman insists.

“Roman.”

“Remus.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Check it for me.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“ Please .”

“Fine.” Remus pushes his chair out and stands. “But only to shut you up.”

“And that’s how you win the game, folks.”

Remus rolls his eyes and pushes past Roman who makes an offended noise and follows him. His steps become smaller as he grows closer to the auditorium door where the cast list is posted. Nervously, he asks, “Check it first?”

Roman nods sympathetically and makes his way to the door. “Do you want me to read it out loud?” He asks.

“Please.”

“Scarecrow: Roman King. Tin Man: Dee Lyre. Cowardly Lion: Patton Hart. The Wizard-”

“Wait,” Remus interrupts. “Let me read this one.”

“By all means.”

Remus takes a deep breath and reads the list, “The Wizard: Remus King.”

Roman cheers, and Remus joins in too. They’re practically screaming by the time they reach the cafeteria again, but no one bothers to stop them.

+++

H. Chandler (1:56pm): so, celebratory milkshakes after school?

       H. Duke (1:59pm): you know it

H. Duke (2:00pm): oh and bring a mayo jar so I can put my shake in it and freak people out

       H. Chandler (2:03pm): absolutely not, plans cancelled

     H. Duke (2:04pm): :(

       H. Chandler (2:08pm): ugh okay fine plans uncancelled but i'm not bringing a mayo jar

       H. Duke (2:09pm): :D

H. Duke (2:09pm): and it’s fine i have my own

     H. Chandler (2:11pm): not even gonna ask

H. Chandler (2:14pm): oh and remus?

    H. Duke (2:15pm): yeah?

    H. Chandler (2:21pm): I lost the game