#my d a d has started going to church & makes a point to say he went to church - on the one hand im like okay if you find solace in that

[heart-bones]

there's something s o. living in Texas truly makes me feel like I am missing out on the inside joke.

I am not religious, not really raised as such, and while I'm about to make a disclaimer to say obviously a person having faith doesn't automatically sour my perception of them - I am moved by like certain aspects of ceremonies and celebrations and traditions (everytime I read about how Hajji I lose my mind crying)

b u t. It just gets boiled down in my brain to like. being really weird that you absolve yourself of all responsibilities and put it on this invisible Thing or Guy ???

[hijackalx]

ASTARION NSFW ALPHABET

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

hes such a dick if ur a one night stand LMAO understandably tho. understandably..... but yeah if hes not really feeling u he just kind of dips out after coming up with some wack ass rehearsed excuse to protect ur feelings. totally different story if he loves u though. i feel like he gets sooo lovey-dovey post nut OMG like soo much praise and so many kisses. post nut clarity with his S/O consists of him enjoying the many wonders of the world 😭😭  that shit will have him watching the sunset

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

i think he likes his hands. i mean its one of the things he can see so like. but they are really nice. long and nimble fingers and smooth palms. his hands look like poetry lowkey. anyway if ur AFAB he loves titties. any titty. loves to mark them up and watch them bounce while u ride him. if ur AMAB its ur shoulder/collarbone area especially if its dainty and delicate looking but regardless he wants to bite around there. youll see him looking at them a lot

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he wants to come on ur face or inside u. his two go-tos. if hes about to nut he'll ask u really quick which u want and u have like 3 seconds to answer LMAO. takes a while to get to that point tho so u have some time to think about it beforehand 😭😭

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he got hard asf the first time u let him drink from u LMAOO he walked away and jerked off IMMEDIATELY

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

hundreds of years of experience is enough for me yeah

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

oooooooooooo gurl. ugh hold on theres so many it could be. ok so theres two. 1. he likes to sit u in his lap (the back of ur head on his shoulder or maybe even sitting sideways with ur legs off the side ??? idk however yall want) and finger/jerk u off. it makes him feel sooo in control 🤤 and 2. he lovesss eye contact so any positions where he can stare into ur soul 👁️👁️ yall why am i only seeing missionary rn...... or planking i guess lol

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

i think hes pretty serious. he might even get pissed off if u start acting too goofy lol like hes playful but not going to start cracking jokes 😹😹

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

this pains me to say...... but i dont think elves get body hair if any (like canonically)....... but i think its weird to be completely bald so im going to say hes got a little bit of pubic hair, armpit hair, and of course leg/arm hair. its just not very long or thick. he basically never has to trim or anything

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

my boy is a romantic at heart yall. will kiss u a lot and hold u very close. i think its rlly important for him to have some sort of emotional connection thru sex.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

honestly dont feel like he ever does normally LMAO when u reject him or push him away during the first romance scene and he says he'll go beat off i think hes just saying that to make u feel bad 😹😭  when u let him drink from u it was probably the first time he jerked off in a longggg time. i can see him thinking hes above doing something like that lol so its an ego thing

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

ok did u guys see the little church looking building at the first campsite in act 3??? i think if yall were to smash there he'd never forget it. like something about that turns him on so much. probably bent u over the altar. even after u guys are long gone he still thinks abt it.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

suck on his fingers omg. but also really likes to use sex to put u in ur place so if u guys argue or just dont get along at some point he will use that as a build up to sex. so he will purposely push ur buttons A LOT. cuz its like, how dare u raise ur voice at him ?? 😤

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

if u dont go along with what he wants to do he kind of gets pissy after a while. he only ever really wants to be in control and thats it. also wont do anything extreme or ridiculous either 😭😭 anything that makes him feel humiliated is a big no

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

for AFAB like ive said before he is the self-proclaimed coochie eating champion of faerun. sooooo good at it its not funny. will also kiss it and leave more kisses/bites on ur thighs. makes u feel like ur coochie is the most divine coochie in the world LMAO omg also will want to eat u out every time ur on ur period......... i think thats like one thing he will absolutely beg for OOP

if ur AMAB its basically the same just with a dick lol

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

he can do both. probably likes to be a little rougher than most people though

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

yeah if hes in the mood i can see him scouting the area for a place to smash LMAO which probably happens pretty often. doesnt mind giving up the romantic aspect as long as yall still fuck for real every once in a while.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

i think he would need to be convinced. willing to hear u out at least

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

TOO LONG. HE LASTS WAY TOO LONG. i mean after u been suckin and fuckin for that many years how do u not take forever to nut 😭😭  u will get urs tho dont worry. also perfect situation for u to have multiple orgasms so dont get discouraged besties 🤘🏻

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

allllll the timeeeee. he wants u to need him more than anything else before he fucks u. u need to need this man like u need oxygen. like a fish needs water. like a plant needs the sun. like a

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

grunts and groans but when he gets closer to finishing he'll start moaning. he doesnt make an effort to stay quiet but also wont do anything embarrassing 😹

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

emmmmm i wanna say he can go a pretty long time without sex. but if he has a partner he is sexually attracted to his libido can be pretty high. but lets remember he is getting into his erectile dysfunction years ☝🏻 JOKINGGGG LMAO

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

well he meditates technically. but he gets into that lil meditation pose fast as fuck boy 🧘 do not interrupt him either he'll be grumpy 😭

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires - Part 33

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Masterlist

Warning: suicide attempt

Your mother's service is not at a church, but at a funeral parlor.

I'm not religious, (Y/n). I understand why a church might not be the norm, here. You can have your funeral at a parlor in the states, too! But wow, a Dutch funeral parlor is a very impersonal building. And ugly.

If I was your mom, I would be pretty pissed.

If I was your mother, I would be angry at the turnout, too. There are a lot of people, don't get me wrong, but there is your family squarely on one side and her friends squarely on the other. They do not intermingle and the hostility is palpable.

I'd ask you to explain why that is, but you are not speaking to me. At all. You woke up and ignored me. You haven't said a word of English all day. I am lost in a sea of people, all speaking a language I do not understand.

So much for you loving me. Today, I am the man who killed your mother. The look in your eyes when you happen to glance at me says it all.

You hate that I'm here. Even your family is beginning to give me strange looks because I am so clearly unwanted by you.

Everyone sits in uncomfortable folding chairs. The casket is and remains closed. The director speaks a few words, then several people speak. Your grandma carefully unfolds a note, reads only two words and then bursts into tears, so that your grandfather has to come and take her away.

You go last, and you are not like your grandmother. Your eyes are bone dry, and you do not have a note.

You're in a black dress - I've never seen you in a dress, but despite the circumstances, you look beautiful in one - with your hair up in a ponytail. You are wearing a lot of makeup for once. Which is understandable because when you woke up this morning, you were so pale, it was like we were going to your funeral.

The makeup looks like a mask. On your expressionless face, it may as well be armor.

“When they ask me what my mom was like during my childhood,�� you begin.

“I close my eyes and try to imagine something normal to respond.

“But all I can see

“Is a very small version of me.

“Reading books to myself

“And putting myself to sleep.”

There is some murmuring. This is not the kind of poetry you are supposed to recite at someone's burial.

You don't care. You continue to speak, in Dutch now, and slowly the regular sadness returns. At one point, something you say makes everyone laugh, and I chuckle along though I don't know what's funny.

When you are done, you sit down next to me and you don't look at me and I should take your hand, I should support you, but you don't want me to.

The director says some more words, and then the procession outside starts. Your mother is lowered into the ground gently. Your grandmother cries too much to be able to throw some dirt, so you do it twice. Once for her, and once for yourself.

You hold your grandmother's hand, not mine.

After it's over, we get in the car with your uncle, and he drives us back to the AirBnB.

You don't shed a tear until we're inside.

But once the door closes behind us, you crumple.

You go into the bedroom and you close the door behind you - Keep out, Joe - and I can hear you crying, sobbing, and I don't know what to do.

I did this to you. I gave you this pain. I truly believe that once the grief dulls, you will be better off, but that doesn't help you now.

If I had not been so obvious and if you had not known I was the one who took your mother from you, I could have hugged you and made things better.

As things are, I am helpless.

Things go quiet after a while. I let them be quiet for about an hour before I go knocking at the door.

“(Y/n)?”

No answer.

“Do you want some food, or something? I could heat you up some soup.” You haven't eaten all day, after all.

No answer, still.

The door is not locked. I open it slowly, softly, and peek in.

You are on the bed. Your back is to me but I think you are asleep. You are on top of the blankets and you're still wearing your black dress and your shoes, I should take them off and tuck you in.

Then, my eye falls onto something. I don't know why. It's been there for three days.

It's a bottle of pills Nadia gave you on New Year's. She said they would help you sleep, and you told her, firmly, that you weren't planning on taking her medication. That you knew what road that led down.

I barely paid attention to the exchange at the time. You are not a drug addict and I did not think anything of it.

But I have the worst feeling.

I walk over slowly, uncertainly. Your nightstand feels lightyears away but then I'm reaching out, picking up the bottle.

It's empty.

Everything goes out of focus.

I am feeling your neck for a pulse, listening for your breathing. I am carrying you. I am in the shower with you, sitting on the floor underneath the cold spray with you in my lap.

“Don't do this to me,” I hear myself say. “Don't you do this to me.”

My fingers should not be going down your throat and you should not be puking out all that is inside you, which is water and bile and pills. I pull you to my chest and I rock us and I think I have saved your life but you need a doctor, a hospital, and I don't know what number to call.

The first thing I'm aware of that doesn't happen in flashes, is being in the living room, dripping wet, and calling Nadia. I use your phone and Nadia answers with something in Dutch.

I don't know where you are. I don't know where I left you.

“Nadia? It's Joe,” I say. “How do I call nine one one? (Y/n) just tried to kill herself.”

[psiioniicarts]

im so sorry if i was spamming you with likes i ADORE your art and concepts holy shit. and also sorry if i missed a post that explains these, but was dave aware of the exact ways mark died / of cesar's existence AND ALSO how does catalyst-presto play out in this au? either way you dont have to answer if you dont want but YOUR ART IS SICK AS FUCK AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT!! KUDOS!! 💜💜💜

OH HEY! I remember you, I remember the comments you left in the tags of my first two TMC pieces: The Diner and The Call! Hiiii it's so nice to see you again, I have your comments saved because they make me really happy :D

As for your question about Dave with Mark and Cesar, I will say that Dave had semi-regular contact with Mark after he was born in 1974. He visited the Heathcliff house and adored his nephew, all the way up to the 1980s. When he moved out, Mark's mother (Jane) stopped attending church (for unrelated reasons), and Dave decided to keep taking Mark (a young child at this point), meeting Gabriel at this time (who was the church's new pastor).

In December 1984, something happened that caused a HUGE fight between Dave and Jane, and after that Jane basically told Dave to never come near her or her family again. That's the last time Dave ever saw Mark, and he never got to even see Sarah (though he knows she exists). Starting in 1992, Mark went behind his mom's back and secretly established communication with Dave, planning to officially reunite with him after he was 18 and she couldn't forbid him from seeing his uncle. It's in these emails that Dave learns Mark has a friend, though he never learns Cesar's name.

How Dave finds out about Mark's essentially proceeds like in this comic, with Thatcher (a close friend of Dave) coming to tell him the night of. From then on, he stopped attending church services altogether (he used to occasionally go on weekdays, not Sundays). He also dedicates all his time to finding out what exactly happened to the nephew he loved so much...

(as for catalyst-presto...I haven't gotten that far yet, ehehe. I think once I can smooth things over in Volume 1 to how I like it, then I can establish a timeline for Volume 2 and beyond...)

[wannab-urs]

Title: Scotty Doesn't Know

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x f!reader

Summary: Scotty doesn't know you're hooking up with Dieter

Tags: songfic, smut, infidelity, dieter is a loser, scotty doesn't really deserve this he's just annoying, crack taken seriously, porn with the barest of plots, barely edited. WC: 2.8k

A/N: the song came on and I thought it would make a funny dieter fic? I'm shadowbanned and marked explicit rn, so lemme earn it with this gratuitous smut fic.

Dieter Bravo Masterlist | Main Masterlist | AO3 | Kofi

Scotty doesn't know that [Reader] and me

Do it in my van every Sunday

She tells him she's in church but she doesn't go

Still she's on her knees and Scotty doesn't know

–

The parkin' lot, why not?

It's so cool when you're on top

Dieter: Here 8=D

You slip out of the church, the preacher just getting started, and head to the back of the parking lot. Dieter’s beat up old VW bus, affectionately called “The Van,” is nestled between two big pickup trucks. Even if Scotty drives by the church, there’s no way he’ll see that Dee is here. 

You pull open the side door, cringing at the loud rattle. Dieter is completely naked, laid out in a suggestive pose and smirking at you. 

“You’re a fucking idiot, Dieter.”

“But I’m cute. Get in here!” 

You clamber into the van and roll the door shut behind you before sitting on the old beat up mattress beside Dee. He plucks at the thin straps of your sundress. 

“I like this, baby. It’s pretty. Take it off.” 

You roll your eyes at him but strip your dress off anyway. You ditch your panties while you’re at it and kick both your sandals into the very back of the van, before sitting back down on your knees beside Dieter. He pulls you in for a sloppy kiss with way too much tongue, and you shriek and slap his chest. 

“Quiet! You wouldn’t want Scotty to find out…” he waggles his eyebrows at you. 

You push him so that he falls flat on his back and straddle him. He slips his hand between your legs, dragging his thick fingers through your slick and then pushing one inside to the knuckle. The chunky ring on his middle finger digs into your labia. 

“Ow Dieter, your fu- fucking ring is stabbing me.” 

“I’m not taking it off.” Dieter pumps his finger into you just to emphasize his point and you whimper. 

“I actually can’t stand you. It’s gonna bruise,” you whine.

“Not like Scotty goes down on you enough to ever see it.” 

You roll your eyes at him, but he has a point. You’re the only one who will know, and you’re not necessarily opposed to having Dieter’s mark on you as long as Scotty won’t find out. Instead of answering him, you lean forward and kiss him. Dieter adds his middle finger, curling his fingertips against your walls and fuck it feels good. 

You suck Dieter’s bottom lip into your mouth and pull back, nipping his lip before you separate from him completely. “Lemme ride you.” 

“Fuck yeah!” Dieter pulls his fingers out of you and slips them into his mouth as you line up with his cock. You sink down on him slowly, pressing your hands into his chest. Dieter’s head drops back onto the mattress when you bottom out. “It’s so cool when you’re on top,” he breathes, palming both of your tits. 

“It’s so cool when you shut up,” you retort, but some of the bite is lost in how breathless you sound. You lift up on your knees, letting him slide almost completely out of you before you drop back down. Dieter grabs your hips and forces you to roll them forward, dragging your clit along the coarse hair at his base. You let your head fall back between your shoulder blades. Let Dieter drag you back and forth on his cock until you can’t hold in your whimpers anymore. He’s so deep inside you, grinding into your g-spot, it’s not long before you feel your cunt flutter around him, feel yourself soak him with your slick. 

“That’s right baby, come on my cock,” he smirks at you. 

“You know, you don’t have to speak,” you say, pulling yourself off him. 

“Wait! I didn’t get to come yet,” Dieter pouts at you. And god help you, it’s too adorable to resist. His plush bottom lip sticking out and his big brown eyes welling with undoubtedly fake tears. 

You get situated between his thighs and take his dick in your hand. He looks extremely relieved, as if not coming would have been the end of the world. You lick a stripe from his balls to his tip, eyes never leaving his, and he whimpers, still pouting a little. You roll your eyes at him and suck him down to the root. He tries to buck into your mouth, but you pin his hips down and set your own pace. 

You cup his balls in your hand, rolling them gently as you suck him off. He rests his hands on the back of your head, not pushing or pulling you, just wanting to touch you. 

You really need to get back inside before the preacher wraps up his sermon, so you slip one finger behind his sack and press it into his perineum. Even indirect stimulation to his little bundle of nerves drives him insane, and his grip on the back of your head tightens as he comes down your throat with a strangled cry. 

“Fuck! Fucking fuck fuck fuck.” 

You pull off him with a pop, swiping your thumb across your bottom lip to make sure nothing spilled out. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Dieter sighs. 

[Reader] says she's out shopping

But she's under me

And I'm not stopping

“I’m at the mall. I’ll see you later, okay?” 

“Sure thing, babe. Love you!” Scotty hangs up before you even have to answer him. You shove your phone in your pocket and knock on Dieter’s apartment door. 

You hear a weird amount of shuffling and banging around before the door opens. Dieter’s hair is a complete wreck, his ratty green robe is hanging open to reveal nothing underneath, and eyes are still bleary with sleep. 

“It’s 3 in the afternoon. Did you just wake up?” 

“Yes. Now get in here,” Dieter grabs your hand and pulls you into his apartment. He slams the door shut and continues dragging you by the wrist until you’re in his room. His bed, or rather his mattress on the floor, is unmade… but at least it has sheets on it. 

Dieter doesn’t waste time stripping your clothes off of you, tossing his own robe into the pile on the floor. “So where are you today?” He asks as he kisses your neck, walking back toward the bed. 

“The mall,” you tell him as you sink down (way down) onto the bed and pull him on top of you. 

“Won’t you need shopping bags for that lie?” Dieter asks, dragging his aquiline nose down your throat, between the valley of your breasts, and kissing your belly. 

“He won’t notice,” you sigh, putting your hands in his messy hair and pushing his head down between your legs. You’re already wet, just from seeing him naked at the door, as much as you hate to admit it. 

You’re really not sure what it is about this loser that turns you on so much. It’s probably his massive dick and pretty face – two things Scotty is not in possession of. 

Dieter licks a stripe through your folds and moans at the taste. You love how much he loves to eat you out. Dieter pulls your legs over his shoulders and buries his face between your legs, stuffing his tongue in your cunt and grinding his nose into your clit. You tug on his hair and he whines into your skin. 

He pulls back and nips your thigh. “Dieter! Don’t–” He plunges two fingers into your cunt, cutting off the reprimand. His ring nestles right up to the bruise he left the other day and it hurts, but you like it. 

“Don’t make a mark,” Dieter mocks. “I know, baby.” He places his lips over your clit and sucks on it in time to the thrust of his fingers. You fucking love his mouth, tell him as much with a long groan of his name. He curls his fingers into your walls, nibbles lightly on your clit. You arch your back and pull his face into you by his hair as you come, cunt clamping down on his fingers. He works you through it, gently massaging your g-spot until your body relaxes. 

“Fuck, Dieter.” 

“That’s the idea, babe.” Dieter pushes your legs off his shoulders and climbs on top of you. He rests his weight on one arm by your head and hitches your thigh over his hip with the other. His hard cock runs through your soaking pussy a few times before his head catches on your entrance and he slides in to the hilt. 

His head drops to your shoulder and he shudders out a breath. “Always feel so good, baby.” 

You wrap your arms around his shoulders, holding him tight to you as he starts rolling his hips. One of your hands slides up into that tousled mess of hair on his head and the other clings tightly to his shoulder. 

You tilt your head back, giving him space to kiss your neck as he ruts into you. Filthy, drawn out moans spill from your lips every time he bottoms out. His only sounds are little grunts of exertion, muffled by your skin. 

He drops your thigh and sits up on his knees, pulling you into his lap. He wraps his hands around the underside of your thighs and pushes your knees up toward your chest. “Gonna fuck you for real now, baby. Gonna make you scream my name.” 

You’d roll your eyes at him, but you know he’s right. He pushes back inside you, giving you a second to adjust to the new angle, and then he starts slamming his hips down into you. He’s hitting something so deep, you know you’ll be feeling it tomorrow. 

Maybe that’s his goal. 

You dig your nails into his shoulders, dragging them down his back as he absolutely rails you. (He doesn’t have a girlfriend to hide the marks from). “Oh GOD, Dieter. FUCK.” You curse as he bottoms out again and again. 

His curls are sweaty with exertion and hanging over his forehead, bouncing with every thrust of his hips. You focus your eyes there as you feel your entire body tense up. He drops one of your legs and leans forward, crashing his mouth into yours just as you come on his cock. The tight squeeze of your cunt around him sends him over the edge and you feel his hips stutter as he comes inside you with a groan. 

He collapses onto the bed beside you and drags you into his arms, not even bothering to clean you up. You curl up on his sweaty chest and he nuzzles his face into your hair. 

“So what time do you have to be done ‘shopping?’” 

“Too soon.” 

I can't believe he's so trusting

While I'm right behind you thrusting

[Reader]'s got him on the phone

And she's trying not to moan

It's a three-way call and he knows nothing, nothing

Your phone rings not even a full minute after Dieter makes you come all over his face. You flail your arm out to the side until your hand hits the bedside table, fumbling around for the device.

It’s Scotty.

“Hey baby!” you answer in a probably-too-chipper tone. 

“Hi, babe. What are you up to?” Scotty asks. Dieter signals for you to put the phone on speaker, which you don’t do. 

“Oh just reading. How was your day?” Dieter grabs your hips and flips you over on the bed, so that you’re lying on your stomach. You suppress the yelp that almost falls from your lips. 

“Put it on speaker,” Dieter growls in your ear. “Or I’ll make this even harder for you.” You feel yourself get even wetter despite your annoyance. 

You put the phone on speaker and listen to Scotty continue to ramble on about his day. Dieter pulls your hips backwards until you’re on your knees. He drags his fingers through your very wet core and strokes his dick a couple times. 

“Oh, I’m sorry Scotty that su-ucks,” you stutter as Dieter sheathes himself inside you. 

“You good babe?” Scotty’s tinny voice filters out of your flip phone. 

“Yeah! Just choked on my own spit…” 

Dieter snorts and you shoot a glare over your shoulder at him. He smirks at you, drawing his hips back and sliding back in slowly. He’s not dumb enough to cause your skin to slap together, but he is a fucking idiot for doing this in the first place. 

Scotty keeps rambling on about some asshole customer at the Dairy Queen he works at, and you bite back a moan as Dieter grinds his hips against your ass, pressing his cock in deep. 

He grabs your hair in his fist and pulls so that your head is tipped back and starts fucking into you at a steady pace, stopping just short of bottoming out so that the only noise is the wet drag of him through your core. 

“What’s that weird sound in the background?” 

“Huh?” Your body tenses with anxiety, but it just causes you to tighten around Dieter and fuck if it doesn’t feel good. 

“There’s like, a weird noise I don’t know.” 

“Probably just my cat, babe.” Dieter snorts again, but you can’t really do anything about it in your current position. You decide to stop worrying so much and enjoy yourself. 

You drop down to your elbows and push your ass higher in the air. The change in angle has his cock brushing your g-spot on every thrust and you bite your pillow to muffle any noises you don’t manage to hold back. 

Dieter fucks you as hard as he can without making too much noise – he doesn’t really want you to get caught, after all. Half the fun is cucking Scotty. 

“Okay babe, I gotta get back to work. See you later?” Scotty drones.

“Later!” You manage to choke out before scrambling to flip your phone shut. The second it’s closed, you toss it on the floor and let out a loud moan. Dieter finally starts fucking you like he wanted to in the first place, and the loud slapping of his hips against your ass fills the room. 

You come with a scream, burying your face in your pillow and thrusting your hips back to meet Dieter’s. He fucks you through it and doesn’t stop. He keeps thrusting deep inside you, hitting something that has you screaming into your pillow. He doesn’t stop fucking you until you come again, and only then does he follow you over the edge. 

He pulls out and spreads your ass cheeks, watching his cum drip from your hole, then he drapes himself over your body and whispers in your ear. “Was that your first three way?” 

You’re so fucked out you can’t be mad at him, which was probably his goal. You giggle deliriously. “Mmhmm.” You drop all the way down to the bed, sprawling out. Dieter wiggles in close to you and wraps his arms around you. 

His front lawn in the snow

Life is so hard 'cause Scotty doesn't know

Scotty doesn't know

I did her on his birthday

It’s Scotty’s birthday. So really, you should be by his side. Instead, he’s inside getting wasted with his friends, and you’re in his side yard… getting railed by Dieter. 

Dieter has you against the house, your long skirt pinned above your hips, and one leg hitched around his waist. His lips are attached to your neck and you should really tell him to stop before he leaves a mark, but you don’t want him to. 

He snaps his hips into you rapidly and you brace yourself on his shoulders and rock your hips to meet his thrusts, panting into the frozen air. 

“It’s cold as fuck, Dieter, hurry.” 

“You fucking hurry.” He slips his hand between your bodies and starts rubbing your clit. 

“Oh fuck, just like that,” you whine. You’re so fucking close to coming – just a couple more minutes like this and you’d be clenching on his cock. But life doesn’t always work out that way. 

The sound of the back door slamming causes both of you to jump and your foot slips out from under you. Both of you go crashing to the icy ground, Dieter landing on top of you. 

“What the fuck is going on out here?” Scotty asks, clearly pissed. 

“Oh SHIT!” Dieter starts to try to come up with some bullshit excuse, but you just scramble to your feet and take off running to the front yard. Dieter follows close behind you, dragging his pants up as he runs. 

You throw the side door of his van open and jump in as Dieter hops in the front seat. Scotty makes it to the curb right as Dieter peels away. You slam the door shut and fall back on the mattress. Dieter glances back over his shoulder, a big goofy grin on his face. 

“So I guess Scotty knows.” 

I hope you enjoyed this truly ridiculous fic <3

[lovekylarforever]

PC Interview (anyone can play if they wannaaa <3)

Choose any amount of your OCs/PCs then answer the following questions. Make sure to be creative and have fun ^^ btw the Q stands for questioner so don't forget to have a little fun messing with them too! ^^ tagged by: @hysterical-luxury <3 thanks for the tag!!!

INTERVIEW:

Q: Let's start off with a brief introduction. -shuffles papers- (oh god oh fuck. how did i end up here? i can't do interviews, that's why i have the job i do, i bomb every interview! what the hell am i doing here? i need to get out of here but i've been chained to the chair and they seem to have made a point out of locking the door while i was watching. fuck fuck fuck) "lucian." he squeaks out, eyes trained on the ground beneath him. he's sweating profusely and his entire body shakes, his face is pale. Q: How would you describe yourself? (this is such a bullshit question, jobs always do this. they always want to pick you apart like this. i don't know!!! i don't know what this question means!!! how am i supposed to describe myself? do normal people know how to describe themselves? oh god. am i not normal? am i a freak? i'm a freak. i'm fucked. what is this interview even for? is this for a retail job? is this some fucked up retail job i applied for when i was wasted last weekend???) "i'm... good at social interactions and i can look people in the e-eyes when speaking to them..." he's not looking at any of the interviewers in the eyes.

Q: What's your height?

(what does my height have to do with anything?? is this not retail? are they trying to sell me off somewhere??? i didn't miss any rent payments to bailey, what the fuck did i do this time?) "5'11." he is fully panicking now.

Q: Boy or girl?

(can they tell? oh god they can tell. great. just great. they're already looking for "subtle" ways to let me know they've clocked me. this is so retail. or are they trying to figure it out before selling me off to someone??? i'll make a joke, if it's retail maybe they'll laugh and let me go because i suck so bad at this.) "d-depends on who you ask, if you asked the church, they might not give you the same answer i'd give you... haha..." it's silent. lucian peers his eyes up to get a look at their reactions, and the interviewers were all staring blankly at him, nobody laughed. his sweat is dripping onto the table in front of him. "boy..." he mumbles, trying his best to make himself as small as possible by shrinking into his chair.

Q: What do you do to relax?

(well, usually i relax by not getting chained up to a chair during a creepy interview for some fucking retail job i don't remember applying to, with freaky interviewers who feel like they were made in some fucked up lab!!!) "baths. computer. kylar." he says this like he's chanting a spell to make these things happen instead of whatever is going on here.

Q. What's your Favorite Color?

(okay, now i'm just getting pissed. is this some kind of experiment??? is doctor harper behind this?? i don't know whether that's comforting or scarier.) "red." he scratches at his arm.

Q: Do you want a hug? x3

(?????????????????? it has to be harper, right??? is he trying to do some sort of fucking personality test to decide what kind of animal he'll turn me into, or whether or not i get 20 nipples or elf ears? please, if it's anything, just let it be elf ears. i can accept that, i don't want it, but i can at least accept it. at least give me something cool, please. if any unethical experiments happen without my consent, let it be cool!!!!) "...don't touch me. please." he spits that last word out, nervous and irritated.

Q: What's your favorite food?

(this is definitely harper. is this my last meal as myself????) "uh. haha... um. that's a hard one. t-there's just so many..." he's shaking again. the interviewers continue staring, waiting for him to answer. "m-maybe pineapple fried rice...?"

Q: Do you love anyone? If so who? -raises eyebrow-

he doesn't think before his immediate answer, "kylar." with his head turned downwards and staring at the ground, his lips curve into a small smile at the thought of his love.

Q: Do you have any kids?

(doctor harper should know this already. am i being tested for my truthfulness as well??) "no..." but hopefully one day, he thinks to himself.

Q: Have you ever killed anyone?

(??????? is this an interrogation?? am i a suspect for murder?? oh my god. they're going to think i did it because i'm such a fucking freak!! what the fuck am i supposed to say??) "o-of course not! i would never k-kill anyone..." (great! that was the most suspicious way i could have said it. i'm so bad at this. why did i lie to them by saying i'm good at interacting with people? clearly i'm not, they're going to think i'm the murderer because i lied to them! nobody is stupid enough to think i really believe i'm good at talking to people. they can see right through me, they know i'm a filthy liar.)

Q: Do you hate anyone?

(fuckkkkkkk they definitely think it's me. whoever got murdered was probably someone i hated, but that could be anyone!! i don't really like a lot of people. they're all assholes to kylar, so fuck em. i'll just say i hate whoever hates kylar, that'll make me look like i hate too many people to hate someone specific so much that i'd kill them...) "i hate everyone who bullies kylar..."

Q: Have any deep dark secrets?

(of course i do!!! everyone has a secret or two, right? wait, am i the weird one for having secrets? do normal people have things they want to keep hidden so deep that they can't even feel or see them anymore??? do regular people keep secrets from everyone around them?? fuck. i'm such a piece of shit. are they trying to arrest me for doing mouth and hand stuff for rent money? is kylar possibly listening to this right now to find out about it? no. he would save me from this place if he knew i was here. he wouldn't allow these people to chain me up like this... he'd just follow me around town if he had any suspicions, he wouldn't do all this.) "m-maybe, i don't think about these things much..." he lies, badly.

Q: Do you have any bad habits?

(great, they're trying to find out if i kill animals for fun or something. i'm screwed. that's definitely what they're looking for. i don't do that, but still! what if rumors are being spread that i'm doing these things!! all i do is steal a little, get a little fucked up and (rarely, recreationally,) make kylar a little jealous! oh my god i'm such a bad boyfriend. what if he's doing this to me because i'm such a bad boyfriend and he wants to get back at me? what if he's breaking up with me??? what if this is him telling me that he doesn't love me if i can't be honest???) he looks like he's on the verge of tears, but nothing spills. his face is red and his eyes are scrunched up. his throat feels dry as he speaks, "a couple... n-normal ones, i think? just drinking some weekends... and, um. sometimes i'll have a smoke i-if i'm stressed..."

Q: Do you play any instruments?

he visibly relaxes. (finally, a question that doesn't make me feel like i'm being put under a microscope.) "piano, when i was a kid... don't remember much of it anymore."

Q: What's your favorite thing to do?

(maybe this is all just some big misunderstanding? what if i'm not being interviewed, or sold off, or being experimented on by doctor harper, or being investigated for murder, what if this is just a survey! haha, a totally normal survey!! yeah right. they're just trying to get me to lower my guard. i'm never getting out of here. i bet they've already made their decision on me, they know something's wrong with me. they don't know what, i don't even know exactly what's wrong with me!! but they're trying to find out so they can do something bad with me. i just know it.) "h-hang out with my boyfriend... talk to him, or, um. go to the arcade with him."

Q: Where do you think you'll be in ten years?

(hopefully not dead in a ditch or locked up somewhere because of whatever this is! i just wanna go home. i wanna see kylar... i miss him. i need him to tell me it's okay, i need his arms around me.) "...i just wanna be with my boyfriend, i want us to get our own house together... i want us to be happy." he sounds like he's mourning a future that he won't ever get to see.

Q: Thank you for answering these questions! That'll be all! :D

one of the interviewers gets up and unlocks the chains around lucian, stepping back after removing them. another one is by the door, having already unlocked it and now holds the door open for him. lucian wastes no time in running out of the door and exiting the building. it's still bright out, and lucian's first instinct is to run straight to the park to see kylar at the usual spot. he's drenched in sweat and wheezing when he finally spots kylar, and lucian barrels into him, pulling him into a big hug while he cries.

tagging: @dendrofiles @pinipig @beevosmeower @yaoipope @a-l0ve-that-b1tes <3<3<3

[dl-drama-cd]

Laito compares Yui's struggling with Cordelia

A reminder that I do not answer for your comments, reblogs and tagging-me-posts. I even don't read it. I express my view on what's happening in Laito's route, based on obvious facts. I translate from japanese myself and attach the original text to confirm my words. Since only 30 images are allowed in a post I could not attach all the screenshots.

In the first game Cordelia also showed herself in Yui in episodes 07-10 when we choose S-answers. But not only there.

Most often after saying something Yui notices that her mouth seemed to move on its own (or she did something unexpected for herself). Or before something we hear her heartbeat. It's Cordelia's influence.

In Laito's route the highest pick of Cordelia's influnce on Yui is S-answer in Ecstasy 10. Laito starts to harass Yui, and she shouts to stop it. Laito answers:

｢そういう口を利くと、ますますあの人に似てる気がするね。 ｣ Laito: Nfu. When you say that, it feels like you're becoming more and more like 'that person'.

And here by ｢あの人｣ he clearly means Cordelia. He litarelly says that Yui is struggling with him like Cordelia. This happens in DL Laito Ecstasy 10, the last episode with making a choice. Unfortunately if you pass to the bad endings and don't get enough points, this episode may not open to you. And then the player won't know what the chain of S-answers and Laito's reactions in his route were leading to.

Just think about it. When Yui pushes him away and tells him to 'stop it' she looks like Cordelia. So Cordelia pushed away like that too. Just the fact that rebuffing is a resemblance to Cordelia.

As I already wrote this episode is the end of all S-answers. Therefore we can make certain conclusions about Yui's other S-answers that they are also connected with Cordelia's behavior. In this episode Laito started touching Yui after she drank the aphrodisiac. Now let's go back to the beginning of the route and follow all the S-answers.

DL Laito Dark 07. Under a full moon Laito tastes Yui's blood and recognizes this taste. However there is no direct influence of Cordelia here. We are given a choice when Laito is just about to bite us. We can say 'drink my blood' (M) or we can say 'I allow you to drink blood, are you satisfied?' (S). On S-answer Laito notes that it is strange for Yui to behave so arrogantly but he also liked her self-confidence. Yui realizes that this answer only inflamed Laito. Because Yui also reminds Cordelia to Laito there.

（やられっぱなしなのもイライラするから、たまには…… 逆襲しないと！） Yui: (It’s always only me who gets it all, it’s already infuriating, even though sometimes I have to… attack myself!) し、しょうがないから吸わせてあげる！これでいいでしょ？ Yui: S-since there’s nothing to be done, I’ll let you drink! Are you satisfied? くすくすくす。ビッチちゃんのくせに、偉そうにしちゃってやだなあ。 Laito: He-he-he. Even though Bitch-chan is trying to be arrogant, it doesn’t suit you. でも、たまに高圧的っていうのも結構ときめいたよ。んふ。 Laito: But sometimes such aggression makes me tremble. Nfu. （逆に、からかわれた……！） Yui: (Just teased!..)

DL Laito Dark 08. Laito forced Yui to read Richter's bloody-erotic poetry. Before Laito offers her to do it and Yui opens the page. S-answer is to refuse. Laito thinks such courage of Bitch-chan provoked him and as if she did it specifically for this purpose.

嫌よ。どうせロクでもないことに 違いないし。 Yui: No. I have no doubt that there is something dirty there. んふ。いいねえ。ビッチちゃん。 そういう毅然としたところも、 少し興奮しちゃうよ。 Laito: Nfu. Good, Bitch-chan. Such courage is even a bit exciting. こ、興奮しないで！ Yui: D-Don’t get excited! んふ。興奮させるために言ったクセに……あぁ、ビッチちゃん。もっと罵ってもいいんだよ？ Laito: Nfu. The manner you say this only inflames… Oh, Bitch-chan, shout at me more, okay? （だ、だめだ！ やっぱり喜ばれちゃった……！） Yui: (T-that's bad! He was just happy!..)

DL Laito Dark 09. In church Laito remarks he sees desires in Yui's heart. We can agree with this (M-answer) or shut him up (S-answer). If we choose S, Yui says that maybe it's Laito, not her who wants something cruel to be done to him. Then Laito only gets excited and admit that he has a weakness for such things.

――黙りなさい！ Yui: …Shut up! っ……!? Laito: ?!… さっきから、おとなしくしていればペラペラと…… Yui: As long as I endure, you won’t stop talking… 反対に非道いことされたいのは、貴方なんじゃないの!? Yui: But in reality the one who wants to be done cruel things is you, right?! っふ……あはははは、ビッチちゃん いいね、そういうプレイ……ボクは嫌いじゃないよ。 Laito: Ha… A-ha-ha-ha-ha, okay, Bitch-chan, what a plaing!... I won’t say I don’t like it. 確かにその通りかも知れない。 ボクは昔からね……そういうのには ……弱くて…… Laito: Perhaps so. For a long time now… I have been… greedy for this kind of thing. (かえって興奮させちゃったかも......?) Yui: (Did I tease him?..)

Look at Laito's face. He is amazed. Because Yui says like Cordelia did. But Yui (Cordelia) shut him up and protected herself when Laito was saying about cruel actions towards MC.

DL Laito Dark 10. In the dungeon Laito talked Yui about jealousy thinking it as something normal. He scares Yui that nothing can stop him. We can say 'I'll punish you' (S-answer). He again only liked her reaction.

――お仕置きするよ？ Yui: …I'll punish you. （って！ 私ってば何言ってるの?! そもそも嫉妬なんて……まったく意味不明じゃない！） Yui: (What am I talking about?! At first it’s not at all clear… what he means by jealousy!) んふ。いいよ。 むしろ望むところだよ。 Laito: Ugh. Fine. This is what I wanted. っ……?! Yui: ?!… その代わり、堕ちる時は一緒。 ビッチちゃんも連れて行くから。 覚悟してね。 Laito: But if we 'fall' we will do it together. I'll take Bitch-chan with me. Get ready. （冗談じゃないよ……！） Yui: (He's not joking…!)

DL Laito Maniac 07. After short conversation with Richter Laito starts to anger on Yui forcing her to confess everything and hurting her. S-answer is 'fight back'. Yui says that she doesn't know anything. This surprised even herlsefl. And Laito too. Cordelia begins to show herself more and more.

いい加減にして！ 私は知らないって言ってるでしょ？ Yui: Enough! Didn't I say I don't know anything? ……っ…… Laito: … （っ……!? 自分でも思った以上に乱暴になっちゃった……） Yui: (?!… It turned out more reckless than I thought…) ボク、そういうビッチちゃんの ことも、嫌いじゃないなあ。んふ。 Laito: I don't hate this Bitch-chan. Nfu. え!? Yui: Eh?! んふふ、まあいいや。 夜は始まったばかりだし…… Laito: Nfu-fu. Well. The night has just begun. じっくり、聞いてやるよ。 ボクの部屋で。 Laito: I'll listen to you carefully. In my bedroom.

DL Laito Maniac 08. Laito mockingly asks Yui at school how she feels after what happened. Was it more pleasant than the 'usual doing'. Yes, Laito seems to rape Yui after Richter's visit and conversation with reminding Cordelia. S-answer is to shut Laito's down. MC slapped Laito. This shocks them both. Yui admits that she only wanted to shut him verbally. But Laito is glad, he likes it. It is Cordelia slapped Laito for his dirty words about what he has done. (And after that someone could say it was Cordelia who harassed Laito? Really?? Are you joking???)

――いい加減にして！ Yui: …Enough already! *slap* っ……!? Laito: ?!… （っ……!! く、口で言うだけのつもりが、思わず手が出ちゃった） Yui: (?!… I was just thinking about saying it but my hand raised itself) 男性教師:おい、どうした？ Teacher: Hey, what's that? す、すみません。なんでも ありません。ただちょっと彼の頬に 蚊が止まってて…… Yui: S-sorry. Nothing. A mosquito just landed on his cheek… ……驚いたあ。ビッチちゃんにひっぱたかれるなんて…… Laito: …Wow. To get slapped by Bitch-chan… んふ、でも少し、快感。 Laito: Nfu. But it feels a little bit pleasurable.

DL Laito Maniac 09. Laito starts a conversation about his guesses about why Yui was chosen as a sacrificial bride teasing her and feeling pleasure of the way she beg to know. S-answer: 'tell' with threaten him of punishment. Laito likes her reaction again, and Yui notices it seems like she's talking some kind of nonsense. Laito also wants Yui to scold him more. Why? It's obvious Cordelia did it when Laito behavioured like this.

――教えなさいよ！今すぐ言わないと......お仕置きよ? Yui: …Speak up! If you won't say it now… I'll punish! っ……！ Laito: !.. （って！私、なんてこと言ってるの!?） Yui: (What am I talking about?!) ん～……いいね……んふ。 もっと言ってよ。罵って欲しいよ、 ビッチちゃん。ほら！ もっと……！ Laito: Mmm～… Okay… Nfu. Say it more. I want you to scold me, Bitch-chan. Come on! More!.. （怒られるかと思ったら喜ばれた） Yui: (I thought he'd be angry but he's happy)

DL Laito Maniac 10. Laito is putting a 'chastity belt' on Yui teasing her. S-answer: 'stop it, pervert!' Laito really likes this. Yui is again surprised by saying such a thing. This was Cordelia blurting it out for her again. Cordelia thought Laito's actions as hentai's. She was against such things.

やめなさい、このヘンタイ！ Yui: Stop it, you pervert! （っ……!? 私、なんてこと 言ってるの!?） Yui: (?!.. What am I saying?!) ヘンタイか……ンフフフフ、実にいい響きだね。結構な称号をどうも。 Laito: Pervert… Nfu-fu-fu-fu, it really sounds good. What a wonderful title. なんならずっとボクのことを ヘンタイって呼んでもいいんだよ？ Laito: You can always call me a pervert, huh? 遠慮します…… Yui: I'll refrain...

DL Laito Ecstasy 07. After telling about the other brides Laito emphasizes that only Yui has reached the awakening level. Laito does it again teasing her but Yui doesn't feel any joy. S-answer: to step on his foot by admitting that she does not like it. Yui is surprised that she did such a thing. Pleased with the pain Laito compares her to a problematic princess.

――嬉しくないです。 Yui: …That's hardly funny. っ……!? な、なんてこと……！ 足を、踏んだ？ Laito: ?!… What's wrong!.. Did you step on my foot? っ…… Yui: … （自分が思った以上のことを思わずやっちゃった……） Yui: (Somehow it accidentally came out beyond what I wanted…) …………フッ。 でも……この痛みも…… そう悪くないかも。 Laito: …Heh. But… this pain… is not bad. っ……!? Yui: ?!... んふっ…… Laito: Nfu… （この人って、やっぱり実はドＭなんじゃないのかな……） Yui: (Is that person really a complete masochist…) ふぅ、やれやれ困ったお姫様だ。 逆ギレじゃないか。ボクのほうが今は被害者だって言うのに。 Laito: Ha, what a troublesome princess. Are you aggressive? Now the victim is me.

DL Laito Ecstasy 08. AT least Cordelia finally wakes up. S-answer: Yui asks 'pierce my heart' but it's not Cordelia's influence (cause she wants to live).

DL Laito Ecstasy 09. In the torture room Laito made a show watching Ayato drinks Yui. S-answer: 'stop it!' Cordelia did not control the answer now but Laito likes arrogant from her. Why? Cause Yui again reminds him Cordelia. With that 'stop!'

DL Laito Ecstasy 10. The final of S-answering chain dictated by Cordelia's will or resembled of her.

やめなさい！ そんなこと。 Yui: Stop! Such a thing. んふ。そういう口を利くと、 ますますあの人に似てる気がするね。 Laito: Nfu. When you say that, it feels like you're becoming more and more like 'that person'. もっと、罵られたいキブンだよ。 ボクをこんな気持ちにさせるなんてキミは本当にイケナイ子だな。 Laito: Feeling wanting to be scold by you more. You really are a naughty girl if you rise this out in me.

It's really strange that fans still don't see how Laito noticed the similarity between Yui and his mother in such situations. He directly tells us that fighting back is Cordelia's behavior. Slapping, telling stop, calling a pervert, threatening by punishment — all this excites Laito because this resembles Cordelia.

And I have a question for the fans who always distorts the facts and tries to make Cordelia harassing to Laito. Why have you been a blind eye to the obvious fact all these years? You're even calling me 'rape apologists' but maybe it's more suitable to you? Cause you blame a real victim. Laito arouses by Yui's fighting back because Cordelia has similarly resisted him in the past. If that weren't the case, he wouldn't compare Yui's struggling to Cordelia's. If that weren't the case, he wouldn't be so aroused. Laito desires making Yui his only because he wanted to possessing Cordelia. And Laito is NOT to blame for this. It's an instinct, and he can't do anything about it. He's a vampire and Cordelia has the blood that drives vampires crazy. So how should Cordelia act with her son who is much stronger than her and can kill her in the blink of an eye? He could kill her and eat her heart. How do you manage him in her place? With kind words and 'mother's love'? It doesn't work with him. He doesn't hear anything, he doesn't want to stop. And you blame Cordelia? Why I don't blame Laito the same way you blame Cordelia for all the imagined sins?

Cordelia's example shows there are things that can't be solved by conversations. And if fighting back and struggling and threats to punish only excited Laito more, it was logical to start controlling him even with blood. What else could she do? To die?

This is an insoluble conflict between them.

[tallnbitter]

00. My Brother & I Almost Die in a Car Crash | History of Man

SUMMARY: Helen Snow has spent ten years at Camp Half-Blood, ignored by the gods and unclaimed. Despite her bitterness, she would never betray them—until she's blamed for a betrayal she never intended. Caught in the web of fate, Helen's life mirrors the tragic story of her namesake, Helen of Troy. With a prophecy hanging over her, she wonders: can she escape the cycle of history, or is she doomed to repeat it? In a world where gods pull the strings and mortals bear the consequences, Helen must choose—fight fate or surrender to it. The men start wars, yet Troy still hates Helen. Can Helen break free from the patterns of the past, or will she be trapped in the same cycle of heartbreak and betrayal that defines the history of man?

Series Warnings: There will be swearing, canon-level violence and general Percy Jackon shenanigans.

Masterlist

Have you ever known that something was going to go bad before it happened?

Had a sinking feeling about getting in a car or on a plane?

Wanted to stay home not for any reason other than a gut feeling?

Well, ever since I was a kid I've had these feelings more than anyone else I know.

People usually listened to them. Small town Montana meant people learnt quickly when to listen to me when it came to my premonitions.

Really it all started when I refused to leave the church after my father's funeral when I was three because something was going to happen. And two minutes later the tornado sirens went off and everyone was ushered back into the church and into the basement.

From that day on people learnt that if I thought there was trouble brewing to listen to me, which is why when I refused to get into my brother's beat up Bronco to go to my grandparents before he deployed, and he made me I knew we were in deep trouble.

I now know that he thought I refused to get in the car because I didn't want him to leave, and how I wished my life was simple enough that my biggest worry about getting in that car was to stop my brother from leaving, but it never had been. And that day had proven that point to both me and my brother.

The drive had been doomed from the start but when Nick slowed the car down and let out a quiet 'shit' at the giant snake in the middle of the road, with ram horns that was coming straight at us.

After the initial sighting and shockingly good defensive driving from my brother, the rest was a blur.

I remember him calling his commanding officer asking for the ability to report two days late so that he could drop me off with family friends as our grandparents couldn't take care of me.

I remember the long drive from Montana to Long Island, mixed in with diversions and dangerous driving to get away from other monsters.

I remember being a terrified 9 year old being met by Mr D and a sweet girl my age, who I know call my best friend, under a tree and my brother saying he couldn't come with me past the tree.

I remember getting a call from my brother when he arrived in Miramar telling me that my grandparents thought I was at a summer camp, and that he'd come and visit when he could but he wasn't sure if I would be able to leave Camp Half Blood.

I remember making friends and watching them get claimed wondering when it would happen to me and it never happening.

In all honesty I think I'm still in that survival mode, not entirely sure if 11 years later if I ever left it.

I know now that Cerastes wasn't the first monster to attack.

I know now why Cerastes attacked.

I know now that my brother has been fighting for my survival since he was 18 and I was 3 when he didn't have to.

[bambi-kinos]

McLennon male/female AU

So way back in June 2022, I was talking with some friends including @dovetailjoints about this Paul McCartney manip where his face was converted to a woman's:

I promptly lost my mind on account of being a huge d*ke so I started spinning up a McLennon m/f AU about it. I still think about it a lot but I also don't know if I'll ever write it or not. Looking at @erinarigby's beautiful rendering of John and Paula reminded me of it, so I am publishing these notes for the pleasure of the reading audience.

I might still return to it at some point but I am currently waist deep in my longfic and have different projects lined up after that.

John and Paula are at the fete together but Paula is being crowned the Rose Queen or whatever it was that was happening in the background. Her best friend is Dot and her closest guy friend is Ivan and she's too busy basking in the attention of winning a competition to give a single fuck about John Lennon. She already knows her worth so who gives a fuck about that guy? They do NOT have a fateful meeting at the church hall.

(The secret is that she quietly follows him on the bus and has his route memorized. Light stalking of the teenage girl kind and I bet Dot has been helping but they treat it as a big joke.)

Ivan and Len both know Paula from school before they went to gender segregated academies or whatever. Paula actually finishes her education here because her dad wants her to do it and I bet she would have been a daddy's girl through and through. Mike is still her little brother and she vacillates between doting on him and bullying him. (Older sisters can be really mean to their younger brothers, I've noticed.)

Ivan still sings her praises to John but John does not take this in the slightest bit seriously. He and the rest are convinced Paula is Ivan's secret girlfriend (it's actually platonic between them, George is the one who carries a torch for Paula) and that Ivan wants her around so that he doesn't feel lonely at Quarry Men practice.

Things finally come to a head when Paula helps Ivan carry his tea chest bass to a QM band practice. The mythical J. Paula McCartney! (She won't tell anyone what the J stands for because it's embarrassing.) Paula's face definitely catches some unwanted attention so she deliberately plays up being Ivan's girlfriend to escape it. I imagine she's pretty cold about this kind of thing and probably much more ruthless than AMAB Paul because she has to play for keeps to be taken seriously.

Then she notices John playing with banjo chords. She says something. This goes very, very poorly.

John could take direction from an AMAB Paul who showed off his skills but Paula just rocks up and makes fun of him to his face. "She doesn't even play! Ivan, muzzle your bitch and get her out of here." Doesn't help that John is immensely taken with her but he doesn't like this at all.

Years of slapslap (no kiss) ensue, Paula eventually does make her skills known to John in someway but he's able to put her down for being a girl and therefore not a threat. I have no idea how they would both develop musically but I imagine that any attempts at a collaboration between them would go immensely poorly at this stage. John would not be able to put aside the sexism and Paula would needle him mercilessly.

Eventually though they come to a sort of détente which means that their two social spheres get some measure of peace after some 2 odd years of them screaming at each other during house parties. Everyone else can tell they want to fuck each other's brains out but they both frequently declare their public loathing of each other. For some reason John makes it his business to know what the guitar girl from Allerton is doing with her time and who she is spending it with. As she gets older this might even become a more reasonable proposition as Liverpool is still a rough neighborhood and she insists on walking home by herself after dark. Eventually she and Ivan stage a public break up so that John realizes its "over" (lol) between them and stops bothering poor Ivan about it.

George is more territorial about Paula which is cute coming from a pipsqueak that John easily has 30 pounds over. Unfortunately Paula does not see George that way.

At some point Paula becomes a bit of a woman about town and starts seriously dating men. John muscles his way into this, for some god forsaken reason, and makes a nuisance of himself running off Paula's dates. More screaming matches ensue but John seems incredibly agitated about something that Paula doesn't understand.

At some point in the détente John makes it into art college. Paula makes sure to mock him to his face for being an academic failure and reminds him that he'll never graduate because he doesn't have the guts. To this end John does in fact buckle down out of pure spite. I don't know if he would actually finish but I think he'd actually develop as a painter and a sketch artist just to show her up. I don't think John Lennon of all people could bear a beautiful woman mocking him for his inadequacy.

John might go on two dates with Cynthia but I think she would be a little unsettled at how he manages to insert Paula McCartney into every single conversation, but not in a jealous way. Cynthia tracks down Paula at some public gathering and asks her if she's being bothered by John. A trio of Dot, Paula, and Cynthia forms. SLEEPOVERS etc. John settles down because Paula isn't actively dating anyone here, she has her galpals and they are extremely epic friends.

Something happens that triggers Paula and John running off on their own. I'm imagining John stealing a college teacher's keys and they drive out to get some lunch somewhere. It's an unexpectedly good gesture from John Lennon who Paula usually dismisses as a cad.

I think at some point during this conversation John would admit that he knows Paula is a good guitar player -- its just that he can't really own up to it in public. A unique moment of vulnerability from him and she responds in kind. She tells him she thinks he's the best singer she's ever heard. For the first time things are not shitty between them. John probably ruins this by honking her breasts.

Paula graduates secondary and has to decide what the fuck to do now. It is 1960, they're going to go to Hamburg eventually but not yet. John has managed to establish something with Stu and I think Paula sent George John's way because he needed support that he refused to accept from her because she's female. She's been a loner for all her life, it's not a big wrench now.

George has had a front row seat to John's Paula obsession for years now and he's both intrigued and weirded out and wants to date Paula himself.

I'm imagining some scenario where John finally goes…why not try it. What's stopping him. So he finds her at an outdoor market and he actually tries to be smooth. He catches her eye on the other side of the road and nicks a wildflower bouquet. He trips comically and almost goes down but then appears three stalls later. Paula is laughing, yes yes she thinks it's funny. He waits at the end of the strip and gives her the bouquet and they spend some quiet time together. Nothing sexual, John is just ready to try something he's never attempted before: treating a woman like a person.

Paula reciprocates and buys him something to eat probably. He really is very handsome and very intelligent. She likes him better without the quiff and says so. He succeeds in making her laugh. His hair is so red and he's still the beautiful boy she saw on the bus.

They're watching the sun set over the Mersey when she says "I was accepted to [university.] I'm leaving at the end of the week. I'm studying music."

John goes quiet but doesn't really react except to congratulate her. He knows she will do well.

He goes home and it goes poorly.

Cyn and Dot throw a big good bye party for Paula to celebrate her leaving home. Their pearl is escaping into the big wide world. Paula is deeply unhappy. Something is missing. She gets very very drunk. George shows up and tells her that John and Stu have secured a gig in Hamburg. They'll be leaving at the end of the week too. For some reason John was really, really intent on leaving all of a sudden. Paula definitely locks herself in her childhood bathroom and cries her eyes out.

John notably does not put in an appearance at the party even though Stu and his hot friend Pete Shotton definitely do along with George. Everyone knows that John and Paula have a thing so where the hell is he? Even if they don't like each other they've still been a big part of each other's lives -- John has an arrest record because he punched out the guy who spiked Paula's drink a few months ago and she screamed bloody murder in the police station until they let him go. What gives?

John still does not put in an appearance. Someone sees a creeper by the front door but he slides away before anyone can see him.

Around 4am Paula finally drags herself upstairs upset and wasted and not sure why she's unhappy. She hears the rocks clatter against her window and by the time she pokes her head out John is risking death by climbing up the drainpipe. She almost screams but helps him inside instead.

John is a MESSY PERSON and he promptly goes to pieces in her arms. What am I supposed to do without you, he sobs. Aren't you going to miss me? Aren't you going to think about me? Don't I matter to you at all?

They have another small argument but its not very serious and its clearly flirting at this point. They're both pretty bombed so they just end up stripping and holding each other.

Jim finds them the next morning. It goes poorly.

Paula decides she's going to Hamburg with John. He told her they need a fifth person and he gave her the eyes. She knows what he wants and she knows what she wants and she isn't wasting money on some stupid school. She doesn't want to be a music teacher anyway.

Jim informs her she is not going to Germany in the company of four randy boys much less with the town ne'er do well John Lennon. Paula bides her time and packs a bag and her guitar. She escapes out the window the morning that they're set to leave for Hamburg and shows up at the last second. John hugs her tightly and doesn't let go for several hours. She just blew her uni placement to be with him.

Hamburg happens. It goes poorly but also very well. John suddenly gets a lot more sensitive to their accommodations. If it was all blokes he wouldn't care but now that they're out of the cradle of Liverpool he's suddenly sharply aware of how many people are watching them, and watching Paula, and how vulnerable she actually is. Paula adjusts to the German catcalls and otherwise refuses to appear ruffled. Honestly don't know how to render this particular section except that John would get an early education on how a woman and a bandmate can be treated. This isn't Cynthia being pawed at by a German sailor, this is his bandmate Paula having to dance away from blokes trying to climb up the stage to get to her. "Alarmed" doesn't quite cover it.

For Paula its an education. She's never performed live in front of an audience before; this version of Paul never performed with the QM. Gelling with the band out of no where is a hell of a challenge but Hamburg still makes them. She surprises John by engaging in the loogie races and by being intrigued by the sex workers around town. I think that she and John still wouldn't be having sex at this point because John is still absorbing all the new experiences and it's easier to keep her on a shelf where he can admire her tits without actually trying to fuck her. In John's mind he's keeping the upper hand by not ruining Paula by having sex with her. In his mind he's protecting her from something; he doesn't feel worthy of her and if they get physical he's scared of making her "dirty."

Paula still has ways of unsettling him though. Imagining John's face if she shows him the underbust corset she bought without a shirt to go under it. He's only seen her nipples in the dark before so seeing her dressed up like one of the street girls makes him pretty feral and that's on top of the prellies.

Paula only performs dressed this way once which results in some mass chaos at whatever club they're performing at that night, kek.

Honestly Hamburg is still intensely deranged and Lennon and McCartney's fixations one each other becomes even more pronounced once they start writing songs together. I can't imagine how their music would change once they have access to Paula's vocal range. Probably something more Nightwish-esque as I think Paula being a woman would make John more tolerant or intrigued with operatic styles just because he wants to hear her belt it.

George still gets deported for being underage but I think John and Paula end up staying in Hamburg together because Paula doesn't light a condom on fire this time. She's too busy putting it on John. I like to think they spent Christmas in Germany performing and boning.

They finally make it home after New Year's. Paula is half dead and John is barely a person because he's full up on amphetamines and sex. Mimi won't let John into the house because he had the nerve to take off with a scarlet woman to Germany without asking permission which means…

Jim does not officially let John into the house so Paula sneaks him in through her window. The band recuperates through out January and John gets used to sleeping next to his lady. It's a quiet hibernation period that they think back on fondly later.

At this point Paula is somewhat disgraced for running off with John Lennon and once again John gets to see this up close and personal which is discomfiting for him since its his actions that are visiting these consequences back on Paula's head. He didn't quite understand how intense the judgment was before he saw it aimed her way. It forces him to grow up a little.

But he still takes her to Paris. Common expectation is that they're running away to get married. Neither of them want to get married yet but they're also doing the Lennon-McCartney dance with each other where they become screamingly jealous of anyone who looks at their partner.

Things progress to 1963. They meet Brian, shit happens idk. Beatlesmania kicks off. I have this idea that maybe Paula crossdresses as a man. She is beautiful but she still has a strong jaw and her breasts are small enough to bind without much effort. She is also still the tallest member of the Beatles and she easily has a full inch over John in height (which regularly leads to the best erections of John's entire life.) Being an Amazon has its advantages and this one means she can present herself as a man to secure a unified front with the other Beatles.

I am unable to render how Beatlemania would change if Paula was the single girl in the Fab Four but I can imagine how it would change their look -- 3 beautiful matching boys and the sole female. Lots of color play in my mind going on and of course there's the quiet understanding that Lennon and McCartney belong to each other.

Paula "accidentally" gets exposed as a woman when John loosens her undergarments as a prank and her breasts pop out during a performance. (I don't think anyone would see her nipples, it just be immediate cleavage and a button pops off her jacket.) I am unable to render how this would go, I can't imagine anything except a huge uproar that would send the Beatles into the stratosphere. This would become a moment that gets debated for decades, whether it was a prank from John or if John and Paula came up with it together.

Paula has incentive to do something like this: Brian won't let John and Paula get married because it would disrupt the Beatles image.

1965 - the big one, I think. Paula can be a woman in public now which results in the photoshoot that breaks the world. Referred to only as "the Beatles wedding." It's just too good to pass up.

Paula gets to model a few hundred different wedding gowns (most of these are separate from the boys just because there's so many and she looks good in everything) with various accoutrements anc accessories. There is a portion where the boys will be dressed up as grooms and they'll be getting special sessions with her each.

John is a complete and utter bastard leading up to and throughout the days of this shoot and its commonly conjectured in Beatles fandom circles for decades afterwards that he was seething with jealousy and humiliation -- he should have married her years ago so that this kind of spectacle couldn't come to pass, and he knows it, but he can't change it now and he's furious that she's dressing up as a bride when she's not even really his. And on top of it George and Ringo are getting to see her before he does and they won't tell him what she looks like.

"I hate you and I will never forgive you for as long as I live," is what George tells John when he asks how it went, what she wore, what it was like. John is hurt and confused.

"You're a lucky man John Lennon. Don't squander it," is what Ritchie tells John when he asks about it. "Make sure to brush your teeth and whatnot though."

John is nervous as hell even though its just some stupid photo shoot and they've done thousands of those already. Brian won't let him drink to calm down so John now has to face Paula in her wedding gown while completely sober.

There's a modern trend of "photos of grooms seeing their brides in their dresses for the first time" and I think all 3 of the boys would get these with Paula. It might even be enough to power several magazines, idk. Collectors items and whatnot. The McHarrison issue, the McStarr issue, the McLennon issue…

Photogs definitely capture the moments leading up to the reveal and then the seeing, the shock, the surprise, the awe. George started laughing and flung himself at her and danced her around, Ritchie did that presses-his-fist-to-his-face thing men do sometimes when they're overcome, yes, Paula is an absolute joy. She made sure to insist on having all different dresses per day because she didn't want repeats. Her boys deserve something brand new every time.

John though. Oh, John. Very nervous, trying not to be, clearly hating the camera, he doesn't turn when he's supposed to and he only reacts when she touches his shoulder and calls his name. Honestly I can see them leaning into a beauty and the beast angle with these two.

If there was any doubt before there isn't now. It's love. Everything else fades away and it's just John and Paula being themselves, except they were always in love, weren't they.

The world promptly goes completely insane upon the release of the Beatles wedding photographs. They got what they asked for and then some. Honestly John and Paula probably have one iconic photo spread of just the two of them that day and in that timeline, that portrait blots out pretty much anything else of cultural significance from 1965-1968. The world turns on but the wedding portraits from that day is what ends up being the most iconic part of Beatlemania.

after that IDK, I'm not really capable of thinking past that. I just like the idea of the wedding photoshoot and how John and Paula came from those humble beginnings. I think they'd definitely have children together but I don't know if they could manage a stable family unit or if they'd be able to save the band from the break up. But there wouldn't be any faffing around about "the Lennon and McCartney rivalry" or "they always hated each other." The wedding shoot was too real.

Notably, John and Paula did attend the premier of A Hard Day's Night with Paula in a white dress and John in a black tux. Symbolism.

I think by the time the Get Back sessions happen John and Paula have an almost three year old and Paula is heavily pregnant with their second or third child. Instead of the deadline being Ringo's acting job they're trying to get one last project in because the second baby is due in February.

I think with Paula's height (she would still be taller than John after all and this time she's wearing high heels to make the point) and her androgyny they would also get some mileage out of early boundary pushing by dressing her up in the boys clothes, so the Shea uniforms would definitely make an appearance unchanged except Paula's tits are out to here and John spends a lot of the stadium concert unbuttoning her jacket every time she buttons it back up.

Just occurred to me that Help! would be a much more straight Dr. No parody especially with Paula as the built in Bond girl. AHDN would be more similar as a documentary with surreal comedy elements but Help! would definitely be more ridiculous and Johnny gets his girl in the end haha

-----------------------

These are all my notes from last year. Thought you guys would appreciate. As I was writing this out last year, I remember being caught between two impulses: the "John and Paul would be a pregnant teenagers couple" idea (which I see many other based users have agreed with!) and then the "Beatlemania but if Paul was a woman" idea. In the end I went with the Beatlemania Paula because that's more interesting as a story especially with Paula having to exploit her androgyny for success. That being said I think Paula would absolutely be the Domme to John's sub, there's no way a Beatlemania Paula doesn't have John's balls in a cage and John liked being controlled by a strong woman. He's not allowed to finish until she tells him that he can.

I remember thinking that they would have their first child in 1965, with the idea being that Paula is pregnant during the Beatles Wedding Photoshoot, which would take place sometime in the winter so that the fashion designers could sell their wares with Paula advertising them. IMO Paula would make John wear condoms for years but once Ed Sullivan happens John makes a disturbingly sincere plea to trash them and Paula assents. Two months later she's pregnant after John's been climaxing inside her multiple times a day <3 But honestly, she's rewarding him for being so fucking brave all the time, he's unironically earned it.

I also think that a female Paula is still has full on baby rabies and by late 1964 she's desperate to get pregnant by John so they can finally start their family. There's an element of rebellion too because she'd be furious with Brian for not letting her and John get married and retaliates by having out of wedlock children.

[softpine]

Gez Louise I'm glad you changed up the story! My boy Finn has hurt enough! It's sweet that in most of the lives we've seen he finds love. I just thought of something Asa and Finn are soul mates right? For the most part they always find eachother? Does the Griffin we saw that's married with a wife and kid does he ever feel like something is missing? Wait a minute! If there's alt Finns there has to be alt Asas right? Do they fall in love in their universe too?

in my mind they're as close to soulmates as anyone can be... the timing is almost never right, and in some universes their lives never even cross paths, but somehow they keep finding their way towards each other under the most impossible circumstances 🥺 and i think baby finn actually answered your question about whether the other griffins feel like they're missing something:

"I get the feeling that my life is missing something. Maybe when I was born, God carved something out of my chest. Maybe he hid it in some corner of the universe and I'm supposed to find it somehow." // "I started thinking maybe God likes to laugh at me. Maybe he hid my missing piece at the bottom of Atlantis, on another planet, or somewhere else I'll never find it. I got the message - I'll stop looking."

at that point, he'd never met or heard of asa, but somehow he still missed him :( so i think the same can be said for any iteration of finn/griffin. we've seen that they're still capable of living their lives and even finding love, but there's always going to be this piece of them that feels just a little too hollow. any version of griffin that marries a woman is a little different because well. finn is gay. and although his sexuality never changes, his circumstances vary widely, which changes everything about how he acts on that.

for example, in the 90s verse, where we see newlyweds griffin and jules and their soon to be daughter, we find out that after griffin nearly died as a child, his parents became evangelical christians and were much more heavily involved in griffin's life. they had to support him physically and emotionally after his attack and even after he became an adult, he chose not to move far away from them, so they had a much stronger influence on him. although he loudly disagrees with their views, he still shows up to church every weekend when his mom tells him to. to me, jules is the most interesting part of this because we find out later (from our finn) that she was one of his neighbors, her family were strict jehovah's witnesses, and that she grew up even more rough than he did. so even though in this universe griffin is married to someone he's not exactly attracted to, who he probably wouldn't have married if it weren't for his parents' watchful eyes, it's clear that they do have a deep connection and they've both been through similar struggles. i wanted to make sure i portrayed jules in a positive light, as she's not an obstacle in the way of griffin's true wishes, she's a person who cares about him and who he cares about. still, that doesn't change the fact that he does feel like he's missing something and he always will. i think jules knew that too on some level...

i can't really say what happens to them after asa leaves them. it feels like it's not even for me to know. but i do know they're both proud of the family they've built, especially since they were both dealt a bad hand in life, and i hope they'd continue to be a safe space for their kids to land, no matter where their personal relationship ends up!

and..... you're right, if there are alt finns, it follows that there should be alt asas :D :D :D that's all i can say about that for now fjksjds

[helenofjupiter]

assigning taylor swift songs to bridgerton couples (part 2)

with explanations that no one asked for (proceed with caution)

part 1 for a, b, c and d

eloise & phillip - i hadn’t even read the book and i knew paris was their song. i feel it captures their essence. “no, i didn't see the news 'cause we were somewhere else” while benophie are just as deep in the countryside, i think philoise truly don’t care about anything that goes on in the ton. “i want to brainwash you into loving me forever” i’m not sure why this line in particular stands out to me in context of their relationship. maybe because going into it they both had their agenda. also phillip constantly thinking he has to find a way to make eloise stay forever. “confess my truth in swooping, sloping, cursive letters” i think this one is self explanatory. secondly electric touch, i was hesitant about this one cause i’m just not a fan of this song sonically but the lyrics were too on point. “just breathe, just relax, it'll be okay // just the first time ever hanging out with you” - eloise sitting in her carriage on the way to meet a man who basically proposed to her without meeting once. from phillip’s “i've gotten used to no one callin' my phone” when eloise shows up and the servant’s “hey, we got a caller” and phillip going “wtf no one comes here, you sure about that”. also “i've grown accustomed to sleeping' alone” yeah eight years will do that. “i was thinking, just one time maybe the stars align, just one time and maybe I call you mine” 

francesca & michael - so i have a story regarding this one. as i got to the second half of the book and the spice started flooding in, i felt like the need for some equally sexy music in the background and i remembered (honestly don’t know how i ever forgot) the altarpiece of taylor’s music  false god. truly all the stars aligned, while i read the words “she felt cherished. worshipped. loved” miss taylor swift sang “we'd still worship this love”. other than that it does fall into the vibes category. tho if one day we are blessed enough to actually get their season i am expecting every social media feed to be drowning in edits of  franchel to this song. but also alternatively to don’t blame me. again, sexy. well the spice in this book was just on another level and i also couldn’t figure out if taylor has a song about being in love with your cousins spouse for six years. i think this is more from michael’s perspective. i mean “i've been breaking' hearts a long time” he even broke mine by being fictional. “if you walk away i'd beg you on my knees to stay” michael stirling would absolutely do this and frankly i can’t stop picturing it. if we do get to them in the show some glorious day, this is my official plea to include this song in the soundtrack. 

gregory & lucy - speak now is the somewhat lazy choice but have you read the prologue timed to this song. “i hear the preacher say, "speak now or forever hold your peace"” the church went silent “there's the silence, there's my last chance. i stand up with shaky hands, all eyes on me” the priest stopped his drone, and every spine in every pew twisted until every face was turned to the back. to him. “horrified looks from everyone in the room but i'm only looking at you” she said nothing, but he saw her. // she looked so beautiful. i rest my case. it was really hard to pick a song for them because there’s so many twists and turns in the book so my honourable mentions are haunted (when gregory convinced everything is solved and then lucy goes and marries another man) and daylight. finally i settled with ivy. “my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand, taking mine but it's been promised to another” i mean lucy has been promised to another man from the start of the book. it just fits them, okay (can you tell i’ve been writing this for four hours at this point).

hyacinth & gareth - dear god, hyacinth is my favourite character in the whole books series. i adore her but for the love of god i could not figure out what songs to choose for hyareth. it was truly a headache and if anyone has any suggestions, please do not hesitate to tell me. because they are such a chaotic and energetic duo, i wanted something that would fit them musically but ended up picking cowboy like me and peace. both are truly in the vibes category, i don’t have much of an explanation. in cowboy like me “and the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up” felt kinda reminiscent of the whole polt line with gareth and his father who wasn’t really his father. peace has a little more substance to it. in my head this is more from hyacinth, she is wild and you will never get bored with her but she can also be a lot and tiring. “you know that i'd swing with you for the fences, sit with you in the trenches. give you my wild, give you a child” this is who hyacinth is, she is a ride or die, and i truly believe she would sit in the trenches with gareth.

[ollieofthebeholder]

So my mom has been part of a pirate crew for the last seven or eight years (maybe more). This is a local guy who used to go to our church - so an old friend - and it started off as him dressing up as a pirate to give out candy on Halloween, then he started decorating his garage to look like a treasure cave, then it snowballed. Now it's a two-night event the weekend before Halloween - one low-sensory night for people with autism, PTSD, people who don't like jump scares, whatever, and one night where the scary factor gets turned up to 11. (They also now do events throughout the year, like fantasy events at the aquarium and pirate weekends and the like. They're children's entertainment, not historical reenactment.) My mom loves it, and she's REALLY into it. She's one of the longest-serving crew members at this point, beside the captain and his wife.

This year they had a lot of people who couldn't make the Treasure Cave - one of the core members had a wife about to give birth, one just hasn't been heard of, people were out of town, there's a nasty bug going around - so my mom had asked me a few weeks back if I would help out. Against my better judgment, I agreed. The captain put me in a new "scene". Basically, I stood in front of an archway of branches, lit inside with blue pool lights, and told the children that I'd heard there was a wishing well back there and was going to make a wish; when I came out, I asked if they were having a good time, then when they said "yes" I happily informed them that I'd got my wish, and asked for the password ("Trick or Treat") to give them candy.

I realized very quickly on the first night that the captain had VASTLY underestimated how many kids would want to go and look for the "wishing well" themselves, so I called on my TTRPG-honed improv skills and informed them that I'd been told about the alleged well by another crew member, who'd been on the island last year but was training somewhere else this year. I then informed them that said crew member was my brother, and that we liked to play jokes on each other, and I thought maybe this was a joke - and that since we were grown-ups, sometimes our jokes got dangerous, so if there was a monster or a dangerous trap back there, I didn't want the "visitors" getting hurt. I basically told all of them that "If you hear me screaming, or I don't come back - tell the captain when you see him that it's Bonesaw's fault he's down a crew member!"

That mostly kept them in check. MOSTLY.

A few highlights:

The startlingly high number of kids who were fully prepared to fight God for me and eyed me skeptically when I said I would go myself.

The kid who fearfully asked "why are you drawing your dagger?" as I pulled it out to advance into the glade.

The kid who said in a voice somewhere between fearful and resigned, "Please don't scream."

The child who solemnly informed me that they ALWAYS believed everything their brother and sister told them (bonus points for the look of "oh I'm going to have fun with that later" said child's older sister shot them).

Child: "Are you a boy pirate or a girl pirate?" Me: "No, but thank you for asking." Child: "Oh, cool!"

The eight-month-old child who obviously couldn't say "trick or treat" or "thank you" yet, but who, when I asked him to give me a fist bump, stared at me and then reached out to softly grab my knuckles for a second.

The child who ducked down to peer into the "glade" when I was doing my spiel, then solemnly informed me (and the rest of the group) that there WAS a well back there, he saw it.

The child who thought he was being clever by saying "treat or trick" instead of "trick or treat" and then bluescreened when I replied with a deadpan "what would you do if I said 'trick'?"

The group that, when offered the choice two stations on from me to bypass the isolated super-scary portion where the "Shadow" lurked, split in half with only three children choosing to go into the scary portion. The instant the Shadow spoke, the boy dressed as Iron Man noped right out of there, backing out and heading on to the storyteller (my mom). When the screaming started, the child dressed as weddnesday Addams (5ish) came charging out like it was actually on her tail, whereas the small child dressed as a chicken (2ish) sauntered out nonchalantly and had to actually be dragged by her mother, since she was clearly not bothered in the slightest.

The single lowlight:

The brat in the ninja costume with two katanas crossed on her back and a dagger in her belt who loudly and derisively declared that there was no well back there, that I was making it all up, and then led the rest of her group in responding with "NO" when I asked if they were having a good time. (I blinked at her for a second, then looked her dead in the eye and said, "Well, then, I suppose you were right about there not being a well, because I didn't get my wish.")

Her mother hissed at her to "just play along". She didn't. I didn't hear what she did at the next station (the Sea Witch) because I was too busy drifting over to warn my mother, but I did watch her go into the Shadow's lair and then, when the group was chased out by the Shadow, duck into the trees and draw her katanas, clearly intending to go back into the lair and either cause trouble or prove that it was just some people in costumes. (I shouted over to the guide for the group - who'd developed a bit with my mom about how she couldn't count and wasn't entirely sure if she had the same number of people as she went in with - that she'd lost one, and they had to practically drag her out of the trees.)

Apparently every single station had trouble with her except, ironically, my mom, and that only because she saw the hip scarf from Mom's belly dance days sitting on the table and asked what it was and Mom let her try it on, so she was too distracted by that to say anything nasty about Algernon being a puppet and not a real mouse. She even apparently backtalked the captain when he gave his speech at the end of the tour about being kind and "plundering smiles". He was not pleased when he found out she'd been giving everyone problems.

[yourbigendergremlet]

Here is a bunch of rambles ive vollected over a few months instead of posting them in seperate posts

Feeling dysphoric about my face not being masculine, putting my hair down because it makes me feel masculine, i hate hair in my face, all my headbands to hold my hair back have bows on it, rip off the bows, wear is like a sweatband

Manly ✨

Even if i was ever gonna come out to my family as bigender, they wouldn't just say it is terrible, they would just tell me that im making no sense because i am still female, a part of me is still that, but they just wouldn't get that a part of me is also male, they would just say it was a tomboy. If they continue to misgender me, they aren't exactly wrong because i am still female so calling me she/her is still not wrong so i cant get that angry about it

Feeling dysphoria? I just made a new album in my gallery and copied any images that made me feel like a guy into there and named it "i am a big strong beautiful manly man"

Felt like a guy today but went to church and was gonna sit in the mens side but then felt extremely uncomfortable so i went to the women's side but i also felt uncomfortable with myself there and aaaagh

Me making braclets with my pride flags but my family dont know that thy are pride flags because they dont know the bigender and genderfluid flags 😎

Complaining to my little brother about our mum not letting me buy men's clothes and freely shopping in the men's section with him because he has not yet been tainted by our parents and older sister's views and feeling amazing even though he still knows nothing about lgbt stuffs

Me thinking of a plan to ask my little brother what his views on the lgtvs are but descreetly so that if he doesnt like it he wont tell mother 0.0

Conversation switches to "lgbt people bad", me goes completely silent 0.0 me: "haha yeah thats weird..." when talked directly to desperately trying to switch topic while not outing myself

My sister wants to try new nail polish but already has some on so asks my little brother to do it on him, parents being like "nooo he's a boyyyy" and my sister being like "yeah guys wear nail polish now tho but he still isnt gonna be able to be a girl" and me being there like "yeah, he can put on nail polish" and internally screaming that guys can be girls if they are aaaa

Hahaha internalised transphobia :D for a while there

Me: am i actually genderfluid or am i actually bigender? Am i faking it? Am i pretending to relate to genderfluid and ftm trans people? Am i only just female and male or am i non binary also a bit??? Am i duel weilding my genders or am i fluctuating between them right now i have no clue??????? Is that why im feeling like thisssss???

Me going out somewhere, analysing how guys walk and act differently to girls and taking mental notes

Walking two steps like how people say guys walk and feeling absolutely on top of the world before going back to normal

Hoping im being subtle in trying to lower my voice so my family dont question it (and horribly failing at being subtle why is lowering your voice a bit so hard??)

Tumblr recomending me a suspicious amount of transgender posts before i had started properly questioning my gender or even thought about it

If i was a AMAB, being bigender would be so much easier becuase it's easier to just wear a skirt or dress and look distinctly feminine and then wear other stuff and look distinctly masculine but as a AFAB when you wear male clothes you still look female but who just bought something from the male section instead of looking like a guy

My mum speaking arabic and using the masculine versions of words for me as a joke but me internally pretending that she is using my correct pronouns 🥲

Me considering getting the school trousers so i can wear that sometimes instead of my skirt but also its my last year and no point spending money on uncomfortable trousers ill never wear again if its only for one year

So in church, women wear something called an isharba which is a headscarf meant to cover your hair to be modest.

Ive noticed that on days where im feeling like a girl, i can wear the isharba theoughout the mass but on days where im feeling like a guy i feel very uncomfortable wearing it and dont usually wear it in the mass. On some days i can wear it on and off throughout as well. It's intresting how my gender also effects something like wearing a head scarf, but i guess it can also be kinda like skirts in that sense? It was also a very subconcious feeling and even when i wasnt aware of what gender i was that day i would sometimes feel uncomfortable

Some days i feel more comfortable with the label bigender, and sometime im more comfortable with the label genderfluid and it's weird

Today im feeling more masculine, but also not fully so im more between he/they. But also there is a small twinge of feminine but only a small amount.

So i dont really feel like he/him, but i dont like they/them for myself, but then also im not he/she because there isnt a lot of she in me but im not he/him because i dont feel fully like a guy.

Im not none of them because i am all of them but to varying degrees to the extent where im not comfortable with any of the pronouns no matter how they are balanced. Idk? Are people just not meant to refer to me when i feel like this????

A very specific feeling i want to experience is wearing a dress while looking like a boy, i really want to have the feeling of being a cis boy wearing a dress so much

I didn't realise how important having facial and body hair was to me until my mum and sister kept saying that i should shave it. I really really love my body and facial hair and i really want even a small beard but my mum and sister made me shave my tiny moustache hairs and unibrow for christmas and tried to get me to shave my leg and arm hair and i feel super dysphoric without it being there anymore

That moment of delusion where i pretend to myself that the soft fabricy present my sister got for me was a binder and fantasise about it but its just a jumper in reality

My sister was talking about starfield and how stupid it was that you could put pronouns "why not just have it male and female lol" and i tried to laugh along but really just could not make it sound energetic and i felt kinda sick

Ive recently had the epithany that as a bigenderfluid person i am still allowed to be a femboy or a tomboy and that being feminine doesnt necessarily make me a girl that day and i am still a guy and-

[corviiidaee]

generation loss generation 2 playlist analysis !!

hello !! this is my first actual post so sorry if there's any weird formatting ! i have not seen anyone analyze ranboo's playlist for generation 2 yet so i figured i'd fill the gap !!

now some history, i am a ghost fan and have been a ranboo fan since 2020 so it's really cool to see two things collide !! i re-hyperfixated on ghost at the start of their current tour and it lined up perfectly with the release of generation 1 to get me back into watching ranboo too !! to see him add these songs to the generation 2 playlist set my brain on fire, so this is exactly what that fire looks like

i am primarily a ghost fan out of the songs chosen on this playlist so i am going to have a lot more to say about the ghost songs and if i say something wrong about the other songs or anyone has anything to add please feel free !!!

*NOTE: ghost is an inheritly satanic band, it's their whole theme. if that or religious themes in general make you uncomfortable, please do not read this analysis !!!!

here is the link to ranboo's playlist if anyone wants to follow along :D https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1XubFgT0bpuQDSwlLrZGTP?si=134b2fff3ba24375

kaisarion by ghost: kaisarion is about an old mathmatician and astronomer named hypatia. she got stoned to death by the christian church because they thought she was a witch for being an intelligent woman. basically the destruction of things you don't understand and don't bother to. also tobias forge, lead singer of the band, has stated that the song is like a violent start to a new empire, a call to arms of sorts. the burning away the past to build something new.

spillways by ghost: spillways is about how if the darkness in you is put behind a dam, it will always find a way to come out, through the spillways of your own soul. the darkness will never go away but through accepting it exists you can be greater than it.

faith by ghost: faith is a song from the perspective of satan watching the world fall to the black plague. this song can also be viewed as the people dying because they thought that god would save them so they did nothing to prevent their infection. i will get back more to this theme in the later songs, especially to misery fell.

he is by ghost: he is is basically just a satan worship song disguised as a regular worship song. take that as you will !

kiss the go-goat by ghost: linking this song coherently to the rest by far stumped me the most because of the vibe of the song (iykyk). but i have produced two links: the creation of the anti-christ and something not being what it seems to be. the chorus says, "it ain't always what it seems when you cling onto a dream, it ain't always there to please you". so something that the protagonist is connected to, which i will discuss later in the other songs, is not what it looks like. there is an evil inside it.

square hammer by ghost: the song's title can be interpreted as "truth hammer" because of being "square" with someone. the album it's connected to, meliora, is the third record produced by ghost. all three albums to that point had an overarching theme between them, meliora being the reign of the anti-christ on earth. square hammer is encourging the people to look to satan instead of god and to swear to the devil and the anti-christ. the devil and the anti-christ in genloss gen 2 will be likely not directly the devil because that is way too on the nose, but i have a feeling this overseeing entity referenced by the devil/the anti-christ will act similar to hetch.

crucified by ghost: this song is actually originally by another swedish band army of lovers and ranboo has sent their version of the song before in the genloss ranmail !! this is just the version he put in and i know better, but both songs obviously have the same lyrics. the name of the song pretty much says all the song needs to say, so that's all i have to say about it !!

another believer by rufus wainwright: this song is originally from meet the robinsons but i'm gonna be honest i know nothing about this song and genius has nothing to say but from the title you can pretty much assume the meaning !

everybody wants to rule the world by tears for fears: everyone has heard this song but this is also one that i think the meaning ranboo went for is already stated in the title of the song !!

homage by mild high club: homage is also pretty self-explanatory !! the connection i can see is "someone wrote this song before and i can tell you where it's from" meaning an event happening in generation 2 is probably not the first time it has happened.

jesus he knows me by ghost: this song is originally by genesis but the ghost cover was added to the playlist again so that is what i will be covering !! the song is a satire on tv preachers who will try to sell you the idea of religion and god for profit, which means they do not follow what they preach.

you're at the party by lemon demon: this song is about a supernatural entity inviting you to the part of the afterlife and i'm gonna be honest i don't think that's the meaning ranboo wanted us to get so i'm going to look at some of the specific lyrics instead ! in the refrain the song says "(wake up, wake up) and it's a place you've seen before ... a place you've seen before you were born". so this relates back to my interpretation of homage, the place and story we will see in gen 2 has happened before. the bridge also says "you're at the party, you're not alone" so this again refers to the overseeing entity.

he needs me by shelly duvall: the song basically says exactly what the title means again, but you can interpret this using the other songs i have already explained. the protagonist of gen 2 is likely being manipulated by the overseeing entity.

misery fell by tally hall: misery fell tells a story about a town who was unhappy with their lives so they gave up their knowledge and experience to get the things they dreamed of and experience bliss. they had turned to a religious entity for any happiness. the chorus says, "town without love too much faith in above?" so the people in this town have devoted their lives entirely to their new religious entity.

cannibal by tally hall: this song is again exactly what it says but this one scares me a lot !! we can look at the metaphoric meaning rather than the literal meaning of the word though. the chorus is "i am the willing victim of a cannibal, she rips out my bones like i'm an animal. and right when i'm feeling like my blood is drained, she calls it a game, but the wound she leaves is unmistakable". again, the manipulation of the protagonist theme comes back. they have been subjected to this pain by this entity and they think it is normal but it is definitely taking a major toll on them. the entity thinks nothing of it however.

that's all i have to say for now !! and like i said before, if you have any additions please feel free to add :D and do not take this as concrete evidence of anything that will happen in generation 2 !!!! this is just my ramblings !! take it as you wish !!

and if you like the vibe of 80s rock go listen to ghost !!!!

[tma-entity-song-poll]

Battle of the Fear Bands!

B5R4: The Lonely

Alone Again (Naturally):

“A man becomes so lonely his only wish is to commit suicide”

The Bed Song:

“The song tells the story of a couple in snapshots over the course of their lives. They're close and affectionate in their youth, but a gulf between them forms and gets wider with every verse. The song ends with the two of them laying in their graves, having not touched each other in decades.”

Lyrics below the line!

Alone Again (Naturally):

In a little while from now If I'm not feeling any less sour I promise myself to treat myself And visit a nearby tower And climbing to the top Will throw myself off In an effort to Make it clear to whoever Wants to know what it's like when you're shattered

Left standing in the lurch at a church Were people saying, My God, that's tough She stood him up No point in us remaining We may as well go home As I did on my own Alone again, naturally

To think that only yesterday I was cheerful, bright and gay Looking forward to who wouldn't do The role I was about to play But as if to knock me down Reality came around And without so much as a mere touch Cut me into little pieces

Leaving me to doubt Talk about, God in His mercy Oh, if he really does exist Why did he desert me In my hour of need I truly am indeed Alone again, naturally

It seems to me that There are more hearts broken in the world That can't be mended Left unattended What do we do What do we do

Alone again, naturally

Looking back over the years And whatever else that appears I remember I cried when my father died Never wishing to hide the tears And at sixty-five years old My mother, God rest her soul Couldn't understand why the only man She had ever loved had been taken Leaving her to start With a heart so badly broken Despite encouragement from me No words were ever spoken And when she passed away I cried and cried all day Alone again, naturally Alone again, naturally

The Bed Song:

Exhibit A We are friends in a sleeping bag splitting the heat We have one filthy pillow to share and your lips are in my hair Someone upstairs has a rat that we laughed at And people are drinking And singing bad Scarborough Fair on a ukulele tear

Exhibit B Well, we found an apartment It’s not much to look at A futon on a floor Torn-off desktop for a door All the decor's made of milk crates and duct tape And if we have sex They can hear us through the floor But we don’t do that anymore

And I lay there wondering, what is the matter? Is this a matter of worse or of better? You took the blanket, so I took the bedsheet But I would have held you if you'd only

Let me

Exhibit C Look how quaint And how quiet and private Our paychecks have bought us a condo in town It's the nicest flat around You picked a mattress and had it delivered And I walked upstairs And the sight of it made my heart pound And I wrapped my arms around me

And I stood there wondering, what is the matter? Is this a matter of worse or of better? You walked right past me and straightened the covers But I would still love you if you wanted a lover And you said All the money in the world Won't buy a bed so big and wide To guarantee that you won't accidentally touch me In the night

Exhibit D Now we're both mostly paralyzed Don't know how long we've been lying here in fear Too afraid to even feel I find my glasses and you turn the light out Roll off on your side Like you've rolled away for years Holding back those king-size tears

And I still don't ask you, what is the matter? Is this a matter of worse or of better? You take the heart failure I'll take the cancer I've long stopped wondering why you don't answer

Exhibit E You can certainly see how fulfilling a life From the cost and size of stone of our final resting home We got some nice ones right under a cherry tree You and me lying the only way we know Side by side and still and cold

And I finally ask you, what was the matter? Was it a matter of worse or of better? You stretch your arms out and finally face me You say I would have told you

If you'd only asked me If you'd only asked me If you'd only asked me

[the-sixth-wheel]

One Piece Chapter 1097 - Ginny; Thoughts, Discussions and Speculations

Cover Page:

I gotta start off by saying, Kuma is HIM. I don't usually use the word gigachad but like. Kuma is genuinely the definition of a chad. EVEN HIS CHIN IS THE GIGACHAD CHIN. The way he carries everyone on his back without second thought has genuinely been so awe inspiring throughout this entire backstory.

The Themes and Narratives Surrounding Kuma:

Also, not to mention, his character seems heavily inspired by Jesus. He has heavy Christian themes surrounding him, he lives in a church, and he uses his fruit to take upon himself the pain of other people. I wonder if his story is gonna be a parallel of Jesus' life... (Perhaps Kuma carries the pain of all the Straw Hats like a cross??? WHAT IF HE REVIVES AFTER DEATH??? If that's the direction Oda is going with his character then I can't contain my excitement.)

The panel of Kuma taking on THE SAME AMOUNT OF PAIN THAT ZORO TOOK, LITERALLY EVERY WEEK makes the entire incident at Thriller Bark so much more impactful than it already was.

I'm especially curious about the "Hands of Liberation" remark... do y'all think that perhaps there are Devil Fruits which serve as accompaniments to the Nika fruit? Because some of the fruits are clearly more relevant to the entire Joyboy narrative than others... (Imagine if there were several God fruits, which bring different Gods into the same universe... Like Jesus, Zeus, Krishna, Allah and so on. That would be super cool for me idk 😭).

I think that Kuma's character could go in two or three directions. He could reach egghead and stop Saturn with the stored up pain, killing himself in the process. He could awaken his fruit and restore the deleted Bonney memories, while becoming a God himself. He could also just show up to disperse the Straw Hats again, like he did at Sabaody. OR HE COULD pilot the giant robot which reacted to Joyboy's heartbeat and wreck all the Marines at Egghead.

The Revolutionary Army, Monkey D. Dragon and Ginny:

We got a lot about Dragon in this chapter too. We now know that he was a young marine at one point, before he got disillusioned and left. So Garp did actually get his son to join the Navy? This actually strengthens my belief that Akainu and Dragon were buddies back in the day. Like really good ones. Akainu, to this day, is still extremely fixated on Dragon. His sole obsession at Marineford was to kill the person he repeatedly referred to as "Dragon's son".

Another interesting thing is that 22 years ago, Dragon did not have his face markings. He did have them 14 years ago, though. Could the markings have something to do with the birth of Luffy? I genuinely can't fathom how he got those marks. Something leads me to believe that it has something to do with Shandora and Skypiea, but I have literally nothing to back that up 😭😭😭.

22 years ago:

14 years ago:

Also, I just LOVE the budding romance between Kuma and Ginny. It's a very cute relationship, which is also tragic in some ways. It's sad to see that Kuma is hesitating to be with a girl he loves because he remembers the persecution that his Buccaneer father had to face and doesn't want to let that repeat. I hope they're able to get together before the inevitable tragedy strikes though 😭😭😭.

I do still think that there's a possibility that Ginny is Bonney, instead of Bonney being the child of Ginny and Kuma. Kuma marrying Ginny at this stage, while being a pastor, just doesn't feel right to me personally.

OKAY THANKS IF YOU ACTUALLY BOTHERED TO READ THROUGH THIS ENTIRE THING. Tell me some cool theories of your own regarding Kuma and Ginny (or even Dragon). I love theorizing even though I know my theories are too subpar for Oda to incorporate 😭😭😭. Here's a random Ginny panel cuz she looks cute here.