#my cringefail <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[polar-stars]

Happy Birthday to Etsuya Eizan 🥳🥳🥳 The funniest man alive

[maikhiwi00]

STARSCREAM in

TRANSFORMERS ONE 2024, dir. Josh Cooley

[marsupials-of-mars]

It's funny how often Bill is described as a master manipulator, he's so smart that he knows what everyone is thinking and how to push their buttons.

Because he is SO BAD at manipulation!

The only reason he ever gets what he wants is because he can literally read and control minds. And historically, he is pretty shit at using what he learns in a productive way.

Every time he has a human partner, it's because they are obviously desperate for something he can provide. All he does is use the fact that he's a seemingly omniscient otherworldly being to gain ethos, and then tell them he can get them the thing they want.

These are not complicated concepts. Anyone with those inherent advantages could do that. And, historically, when the actual negotiations are up to him and he hasn't backed someone into a corner, he pretty immediately fumbles the bag.

Think of when he possessed that priest: he pitched his plans outright with zero tact and everyone in the room immediately refused and dedicated themselves to making sure he never got his way.

The pharoh DISPISED him, found him annoying and tried to banish him. The shaman caught wise pretty quick. Xgqrthx never even planned on helping him at any point. Every plan failed because of Bills own ineptitude, when all the cards were stacked in his favor!

The way he talked to Ford was disturbing and direct and entirely Bill-like. Ford was just a sponge for any flattery and happened to be into the way Bill spoke and left him rats and suggested murder because he is also abnormal.

Bill is bad at making friends, which is why he has just a few henchmaniacs he's gathered over billions of years.

People DO NOT LIKE HIM.

And he's in denial about that to an extent. He always thinks they'll be on his side once he reveals his true intentions. He always thinks they'll go for the promise of infinite power and destruction because who wouldn't?

Basically, for an immortal god who's had an unfathomably long time to practice social skills and can LITERALLY ENTER MINDS TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY... he's really, really bad at manipulation. And really, any sort of person to person connection.

[sunnyirry]

huntlow cheesy k-drama moment

[dodgydoodler]

The Queen of Cringefail: Shiver Hohojiro

[justa-regularuser]

Late night doodles ✨

[alwachart]

[charliethechandelure]

Day 8 of Luffy month : Birthday clown edition

"I won't let what happened to me ever happen to another child. You will get the love you deserve and need"

[uhohdad]

John Price & CringeFail Reader - One (1) New Message

The text that illuminates your phone screen steals both your attention and your breath. A sharp inhale gets lodged in your throat and triggers a full on coughing fit.

“‘Ight ther’, bonnie?”

You blindly throw a thumb up in Soap’s general direction while your lungs stutter to regain control of its function, both your face and chest burning from embarrassment and overexertion respectively.

You look back to your phone to confirm through tear-blurred eyes, and yes, you read it right.

Captain Price: ‘Get me off please?’

Maybe your Captain really had returned your infatuation. It was just supposed to be a stupid little fantasy in your head, a safe schoolgirl crush on an authoritative man that’s meant to be unobtainable. It wasn’t supposed to -

Had he known all along?

And to be so forward about his return - Was it really as simple as a text message? Was that all it took? Four words. Four. Four words that trample over all the boundaries and put your very livelihoods at stake to give in to that tempting, alluring, forbidden desire.

It’s not unusual for him to be direct and to the point - but this, this is -

Your thigh is bouncing as quick as your thoughts are racing.

It takes you far longer than it normally does for you to respond to an order from your captain. When it’s clear your heart isn’t planning on steadying anytime soon, you make sure you look presentable, and move on shaky legs to his office.

You shuffle from foot to foot outside his door, having to work up the courage to knock. Your heart triples its already dizzying speed when he calls you in.

“I - I got your text,” You point to your phone and give it an unnecessary, awkward little shake.

“Oh?”

His eyes flick to the side and his thumbs toss out from his loosely threaded fingers, a gesture that reads as confusion and annoyance.

“Is there a problem?” He asks.

“No!” You blurt, far too loud and far too fast. You catch yourself with a nervous laugh, “No- no problem.”

“Okay,” He draws.

His lips purse, and his eyes dart to the side. He gives a roll of his wrist that sends a clear message.

Go on, then.

“H-Here?” You squeak, “Now?”

Price’s face pinches, and he gives a scoff. Your eyes follow him as he slowly sits back in his chair - is that what he wants? For you to get under his desk, kneel between his legs, choking yourself on his -

“If it’s not too much trouble,” He adds after a careful pause.

“No! Not at all - I just - Well, I didn’t know - how you wanted me to - ”

“Black is fine,” He says with a tilt of his head, “You knew that, yeah?”

You blink at him.

“What?”

“Black,” He leans forward onto his desk again, his eyes squint as he gives you a fullbody once over, “You alright today?”

“Black?” You repeat.

He raises his shoulders with a slow, patronizing shake of his head, “No cream, no sugar?”

“Coffee!” Your face floods with realization, a weighty breath of understanding on your lips, “You wanted coffee. Not-”

You freeze when you meet his eyes again, a mixture of bewilderment and genuine concern stitched into his features.

You’re not even sure if there is a way to recover from this that doesn’t either make you look like a total idiot or reveal that you were fully ready to pleasure him to completion - no questions asked, any way he wanted, right here right now. If there was the perfect combination of words out there, you certainly wouldn’t be able to string them together with those piercing blue eyes frazzling every thought you try to form.

You give another laugh that bleeds into a groan, shift your weight to one foot, and rub out your brow with your thumb.

Total idiot it is.

“I am, so sorry, Captain. Just- one of those days, yeah? Forget-” You abandon your useless efforts to save face with another nervous laugh and a point over your shoulder, “I’ll be- I’ll be right back. With that coffee.”

You try to slip out as inconspicuously as you can, even though you can feel the burn of his judgmental stare with every move you make to slink out of his office. As soon as the door clicks shut you’re folding in on yourself, an entire body cringe and curses riding every breath.

That could not have gone worse for you. Of course it was a typo. Are you that delusional? To think that -

Ugh.

It’s not even like you can avoid him the rest of the day. You have to be back in his office in minutes with that coffee.

As the first drips crack and sizzle at the bottom of the pot, you’re seriously considering asking one of the boys to deliver Price’s pick-me-up so you don’t have to look him in the eyes anytime soon. On a broader scale, you’re considering quitting and never looking back.

Your phone buzzes on the counter, your eyes darting to the text like second nature.

Captain Price: ‘Ah, I see now. My fault. Good to know how far you’re willing to go for the team, though.’

“Soap!” You squeak, “I need a favor!”

♡ DRABBLE MASTERLIST ♡

Dividers: @saradika-graphics

[burythel1ght]

i love how pathetic they made gwen in atsv, i mean just look at her <3

[treasureplcnet]

do i think weissman would try very hard to be a good dad? yes. do i think he would be good at it? i am pleading the fifth

[microvibing]

I only bring you all quality content

Anyway where's that one post on zi's tumblr about wolf boy Stone

EDIT: found it lol

[chaos-of-the-abyss]

i really don't get celegorm's death put into full perspective until i remind myself that he is older than the human race, and the person who killed him was the son of... not even one of the earliest humans. he had many, many, many, many times dior's life experience. hell he had many, many, many times the life experience of dior's father. and dior still killed him. that's embarrassing

[myrquez]

Bezz for Sky Sport Italia

-“In the VR46 groupchat, when you talk about the new Ducati riders that are going strong, like Marc Marquez.. how is it (what do you guys think about it, how does it feel like)? The Devil wears Prada? Look at Marquez..? I just wanted to address this topic.

“Well, we talk about it much more in person than on our groupchat-

“But it doesn’t go unnoticed. (You do talk about him)

“No, we pay attention to everything. With Vale is difficult not to, he has always taught and still teaches us to pay attention to every detail, so we always try to understand everything around us. Marc is going very strong, and we watch him and try to learn from him.

“So he’s like a benchmark! (nice pun right there)

“He’s like a ‘tool’ that we can use… wait, it does sound bad, I mean he’s a rider, but he’s a rider that we can ‘use as a lesson’. We can look up to him, as if he was a teacher.”

[the-data-files]

"why doesn't Benjamin like me :((("

[conejita-canelita]

We underestimated when we said polin were losers. They’re worse than that. They’re like the regency-equivalent of the nerdy couple at the bottom of the popularity ladder in high school who get shoved into lockers and get their lunch money stolen but hey at least they’re in it together