#my coach probably hates that she makes no money off me but whatever

[slender-wannabe]

so i decided to join a challenge my bodi accountability group is doing.

first day, so far so good! i got up at 6am and worked out, had a shower, went to work, then went for an 8km walk after work! almost got in my water goal and gonna go do some reading before bed.

[braveclementine]

Day 20~ 9:40 A.M.

Warnings: None, Readers under 18 can read this book.

Copyright: My OCs are Coach Yonce, Emma, Ila, Tempus, and Itty Bitty. I own these characters. I do not condone any copying of this.

Downey came pounding on the door this morning. I was still asleep and grouched as I rolled out of bed. I stumbled down the stairs and opened the door, barely getting 'good-morning' through my lips before he was pushing past me.

"Well I have good news." Downey proclaimed, "A lot of it actually."

He was already dressed in a navy blue suit, his hair perfectly styled in that annoying way. His tinted glasses were on his face as well. He made a beeline straight for the kitchen, starting up the coffee maker and pulling food out of the refrigerator to make eggs.

"What, you didn't eat before you came here?" I grouched, slumping into the kitchen chair, rubbing my eyes.

"No. This is for you." Downey said in a perfectly uncaring manner. "After you go upstairs, shave, shower, and get dressed. You'll want to. We're going out."

I could've argued with him. As it was, I asked if he was my nanny and he told me someone had to take care of me because I obviously wasn't doing it. I wondered why he didn't ask where Margarita was. Maybe he already knew I'd broken things off with her.

I didn't argue, going upstairs and taking a fairly long shower. I shaved and soaped up. I kind've liked the long hair thing I was doing for Bucky Barnes. Y/N had liked it too. Maybe that's why I hadn't cut it yet.

Marvel productions had been stopped. Fans were worrying that it would be the last Marvel movie ever. I figured it wouldn't. Stan Lee didn't think it was the last one either. But I did know I wouldn't be playing Bucky Barnes.

I should probably look into selling this house. I had money stocked away, but this was the sort of house millionaires could afford. I doubted whatever job I got after this wasn't going to be paying half as well.

I got dressed in a simple polo shirt and jeans. I headed downstairs, pulling my hair into a slight man bun.

The eggs were done and tasted fairly good. I was surprised Downey could cook.

"Alright, what's the good news Robert?" I asked as I ate.

"First off, Christina Bobb, that's the lawyer that's going to represent you, she's already uncovered confidential emails, not only between both Anthony and Joe, but also between several other millionaires and celebrities. There was a lot of money put into this. She's also discovered- with the help of a few other lawyers- that it was never meant to be a Marvel Movie."

"I think that was pretty obvious." I grunted out.

"It was some sort of psychology project that was being funded by some of the Middle Eastern Governments and also one of the South American and one European Government. I don't know all of the psychological terms or what they meant, but in the short run, it sounds like it was to see how kids could react under different types of pressure. How one feels being singled out, how another feels if they're underlooked or given more attention. How they'll react if given advantages and disadvantages. It's disgusting really."

I just nodded. I knew that if I said something about having been there, about seeing it in reality, I was going to get that sympathetic look.

And the talk about seeing a therapist.

I didn't need a bloody therapist. I needed confirmation that Y/N had made it back alright. Anywhere in the United States, but I just needed to know she was safe, with her family.

"Is there any more news?" I asked.

"Mrs. Bobb is ninety-nine percent certain that we'll win the case. There were a lot of arrests made when the police swept through that facility. They've also got the man who almost raped Y/N, thought you'd want to know that. You can see him if you want. I've already prepared to pay a small bribe for them to turn their head so you can punch him across the face if you want. Just kidding, I barely had to pay anything. He's scum and they hate him."

"Well that does make me feel a bit better. If you'd told me that in the beginning, I would've worn a suit." I responded.

"We also get our checks even though the movie was never made." Robert said, pulling out an envelope and tossing it on my table. "$345 Mil."

I looked at him. "What?"

"Yep. They divided up the funds. Don't worry, Y/N and all of the other one-hundred and twenty other families already got their money. Not that it probably does anything for them. Y/N's mother already said she'd trade the money for her daughter. I don't blame her. If my daughter or son went missing I'd give everything I had for them back." Robert said.

"Yeah, me too." I murmured. I had no kids, but I thought it might be the same with wives. Or at least lovers.

Not that I could really call Y/N my lover.

"Oh yeah." Robert added as an afterthought. "And they found Y/N."

I choked on my next mouthful of eggs. "YOU TELL ME THAT PART LAST?! YOU BASTARD! WHERE IS SHE? WE NEED TO LEAVE NOW! OH MY GOD IS SHE OKAY? IS SHE HURT? WERE HER FRIENDS WITH HER? WHERE DID THEY FIND HER? HOW LONG AGO WAS SHE FOUND?"

"This is exactly why I didn't tell you right away. Wanted to give you a chance to eat and get cleaned up. She's in a hospital in Pahrump, Nevada. The other three girls are with them. Their families are already being flown out there. Evans and Hiddleston are already waiting on the jet as we speak. Benedict said he wanted to join us, I hope that's alright with you."

"Yeah, sure, let's go." I said, getting up from the table.

Robert said nothing, getting up and leading me out of the house. We drove in silence to the airport, and then no one said much of anything on the jet either.

I was going to see her. I wondered if she would even want to see me. My stomach felt like it was rolling in turmoil and I cursed Robert for making me eat.

"She's safe at least." Chris said next to me. He was being unusually serious and quiet. "That's something if anything else."

I nodded. "I know. I'm thankful for just that."

It was much to soon, and yet, not soon enough before the plane was landing in Nevada.

⬅️➡️

[unlikelyjapan]

s2e7 rewatch notes

Forks. Here we go...

Enters with Syd doing menu R&D with Coach K's interview layered on.

I'm going to be honest and say I hate inspirational sports narratives - years ago my husband used to work for a huge sports conglomerate, and I'm still finding and disposing of "TEAMS GO HARD - THERE ARE NO APOLOGIES" motivational-type swag to this day.

That being said, the interview is highly relative to Syd, foreshadows Richie's arc apex, Carmy's choice/fall/probable redemption, the teams learning curves, the restaurant's impending ebb and flow, so I've transcribed it for posterity:

So as you've been coaching over the years, what would you say are the most important lessons of leadership that you've learned?

The very first thing is that in order to get better you change limits. And when you change limits, you're going to look bad and you're going to fail. And at West Point I learned that failure was never a destination. In other words, when you are knocked back, you know, figure out why, then change.

The other thing is that you're not going to get there alone. You know, be on a team. You know, surround yourself with good people and learn how to listen. You're not going to learn with you just talking. And when you do talk, converse - don't make excuses. Figure out the solution. And you don't have to figure it out yourself.

I always wanted to be part of a team and obviously I wanted to lead that team. You know, what an interesting life it is to be a leader.

"That's something" Syd murmurs. The whole talk is the glue that holds her to RIchie and co. without Carmy in e10.

I do appreciate how they portray (with the aid of spooky music) Richie's wake-up, the city of Chicago, and the modernist restaurant as bathed in grey/blue hues and basically haunted at the jump. Richie as a shell, an angry ghost, terrified of his perceived lack of agency, his irrelevance, and whatever future fate Carmy has in store for him.'

"Chef Terry is always watching" contrasted with the initial starkness of "Every Second Counts" without context - so much has already been reported on this episode re: ritual/purpose, but I just relish watching Richie be in jail the first portion of this episode.

And don't worry, I'm not going to make any "OMG a fork! Remember when...." observations, this isn't the Reddit sub.

I do like the use of David Byrne's "Glass, Concrete & Stone" as Richie tucks into day two and three of his stage.

"Now, I'm wakin' at the crack of dawn, to send a little money home, from here to the moon...."

I mean, his conscious mind is screaming "I have to do this so Carmy will pay me", but some part of his lizard brain has to be cluing in at this point that this whole exercise/path might lead to a more lucrative life - so he can support the family he doesn't possess anymore.

Carmy, Syd, Tina, Marcus and Natalie are thrown into a restaurant montage overlapping RIchie's scene while the song continues to play out - it doesn't play in this lyrical order, so you know every note is intentionally directed at one/all:

Lookin' at happiness

Keepin' my flavor fresh

Nobody knows I guess

How far I'll go, I know

So I'm leavin' at Six O' Clock

Meet in a parkin' lot

Harriet Hendershot

Sunglasses on, she waits by this

Glass and concrete and stone

It is just a house, not a home.

And my head is fifty feet high

Let my body and soul be my guide

There's too many dual meanings /applications for these lyrics to even sift through here. Bravo, Christopher Storer.

In my last recap of Fishes, I had said a bit about how all the men in the Berzatto orbit can be ground down to a pulp by men they perceive as an authority/threat.

Garrett represents a beta-persona to Richie, someone he could easily go off on (with a "G or R" comment casually thrown in) when he starts lecturing him in the alley about his commitment/work ethic, but Garrett is so assured of his work, and more importantly assured of his mother-fucking purpose.

The obvious layer of this is that Richie's seeking his purpose, so it's a crystalizing moment. The secondary layer is that it reveals the kryptonite of the Berzatto(ish) men - people who have and are assured by their purpose, and who lead with that instead of myths and bluster.

This explains Carmy's early "othering" by the family, for better and for worse - he's not assured of that purpose because of all his enmeshment and hang-ups, but they caught a whiff of what it could lead to, and it brews a curiosity, mocking and quiet disdain.

It also explains Richie's bonkers hatred of Syd in season 1 (reciprocated in kind), as Sydney comes rushing out of the gate with assurance and purpose. It also explains the immediate tune-up their relationship undergoes as soon as Richie wanders back to The Bear. Same goes for Richie and Natalie's repair/sudden appreciation for one another by e8.

Re: the teachers who had saved up for a fancy dinner at the pre-service meeting:

"I want to go above and beyond tonight. Every supplement and caviar, a tour of the kitchen, a champagne tour in the gallery as well. And, guys, we're not going to let these people spend a dollar. Do not drop a check. I wanna blow their fuckin' minds."

I will cop to shedding a happy tear the first time I saw this. I really hope it changed some mid-American perspectives on what service work and hospitality can mean (across the board, but especially in its upper echelons), by what metrics they assess it, how they value the people who work purposefully to take care of them. So good! I'm glad it hit Richie like a ton of bricks.

It looks like Tiff's been crying before she calls Richie in preparation. It's really sweet that Richie's first thought is obviously a worry about her health or something when she says she needs to tell him something, followed quickly by relief. I didn't question that there wasn't real love there, but it's nice to see it linger between the two of them in the aftermath....Ebon and GIllian both played this scene so sincerely.

As he re-enters the kitchen, Richie is watching the careful food prep and the FOH interactions with such a childlike intensity/wonder. I didn't realize that the "rebirth of Richie" happened in a day, not a week (which I felt was too fast already) but I actually find myself resenting it less at this clip. Basically all the things he held dear (being Van Halen, potential reconciliation with Tiff, the dishonesty of white collar life and dining/fraud Carmy) were obliterated in a single day, but a life that requires "someone who's good with people" has presented itself in tandem. (I...god....its a fork in the fucking road, ok? ugh.)

Just taking a beat to marvel over the Chicago cinematography in this episode. My God, the colors they were able to coax out of trains and the skyline at night, it's truly magnificent.

Some reddit gals were pointing out that Chef Jess' gold 'X' earrings are the exact same as Claire's, which indicated that she's marked as a love interest for Richie the same way Claire is marked for Carmy, everything being intentional and all that.

While I leave a slight amount of room to believe that a show about a group of kitchen rats doesn't have an overly-extensive jewelry collection to pull from in the wardrobe department, if it was intentional I think it says more about Richie's motivations than it does Carmy's.

Richie really wanted a Claire. Someone available, interested, someone he could regard as a "high-calibre woman" (I am not going to include any of the dialogue from Fishes, don't worry). I think the "X" could signify women who are emotionally open and available. What the men do with that is up to them - I don't think The Bear is going to fuck around with fatalistic narratives when it's actively trying to dispel them elsewhere.

I really love the sense of play as the staff gather around the perquod's pizza as the chef is preparing it - taking a minute to delight in it without it disrupting the urgency of the kitchen at rush. I can't wait until The Bear gains its sea legs and we see everyone BOH being afforded moments like this.

Deep dish is not "magic pizza" though. Far from it.

When Richie identifies the apple cider gastrique and Garrett cries "THATS MY FUCKING BOY RIGHT THERE!!" -

I mean, it's bro movie shit, and this would never happen in a week....but it is a truly charming context switch. The Taylor Swift bit was way too cloying for me, but I'm relieved to see Richie smile and Ebon really sells it all.

Shout out to the shot of Ceres.

It's been discussed, but Garrett's sobriety story re: acts of service for recovery/hospital-ity is a poignant add-on.

Every character featured on the show is tasked with providing service and taking care of people in either a hospital or hospitality setting, and it's the key to maintaining (or regaining) control of their lives.

Richie is a baby who's learning, we know this. This seems more like a direct shot across the bow at Carmy - even with the example of a girlfriend who's a doctor, he's negating taking care of people and providing acts of service for them to provide for himself (thinking it'll make him better at it). Carmy has dodged alcoholism through abstinence, but he's exhibiting addict behavior by abdicating his responsibilities to others in order to chase sensations. He dodges his AA meetings, neglects service to others, and ends up losing control of his life.

Aaannnd we're back to Berzatto patterns with Richie feeling like Carmy owns and controls him, once it's reinforced that Garrett/Chef Terry defer to Carmy re: Richie's working life. We all know Carmy would never deny him the opportunity to move on to another stellar job, which makes his call to him so annoying.

I like that the next morning Richie is shown to be 50% less self-destructive. He's bloodshot again and staring at Mikey's prayer card in the mirror, but he's also up in a flash, organizing Eva's crayons, cleaning the counters etc. instead of just fully dirt-bagging it out the door. He's not perfect, but he's changed.

Hmmm - Richie reveals to Chef Terry that he was a military brat.If he moved around a lot as the sole child (it's been established that his parents were shit), it definitely explains why he would gravitate towards Mikey's very rooted family to have an established sense of place, no matter how dysfunctional it is. He also seems to take it very personally that their dad was a deadbeat - I wonder if that was a secondary abandonment for him too.

Chef Terry - "I tried to open a place years ago. I had all these accolades, I was younger, I was on fire. I was arrogant and I tried to move too fast and I couldn't keep the place open, and the market crashed and I got killed.[......] the most public wipe-out.

Yikes. Followed by the story of her current place:

"That was on my 38th birthday. I was out walking all night, unemployed, angry, depressed - blaming everyone else for all the time I'd lost and all the money I'd lost, all of it. And it was raining - and I was walking through Lincoln Park - and my phone died. And so I stood under this awning waiting for the rain to stop - and I just stood there and stared - and then the sun came up, and it turns out I was right there.

And then I walked 'round to the front and I saw the sign. It was an actual sign. It was a restaurant for lease sign."

Richie - "Like a, uh, never too late...."

"Yeah. Never too late to start over."

Again, the meaning as it applies to Richie is pretty overt and obvious, but I wonder how they're going to tether this more to Syd or Carmy next season (or just rail them both equally with it, along with the fate of The Bear). There are also parallels of it being a family business, and the death of a family member that she didn't get the opportunity to know as well as she should have.

"He believes in you. He told me" - Aw, Carmy ❤️ I'll be mad at you again tomorrow.

This ended up being more enjoyable than I remembered. I think Pop and Fishes just did a number on me.

[calypso-finale]

Eighty One

My son is a beast, I can’t even deny that shit. Like with my boys I like to be hard on them really, more then my girls but my boys. Raihan gets away with it but Junior, he really gets it because I refuse to let him lack on this. Junior is going to get that dream I didn’t get, it’s not basketball but it’s football and I like that, I take it. Raihan just gets away with it but Junior, I am hard on him about shit I feel “fuck yes!” I said, I know my son is catching all the eyes of the coaches. Like this shit isn’t because he has money to train to be it, he is naturally good, the way he runs is like his life depends on it, and it’s always light work for him. He made his way over to me “light work dad” he said, passing him his drink “you know it, these people on your team aren’t catching you. You keep doing you, fuck the others” Robyn nudged me, I really get into my zone when it comes to these games “dad I am n ot even out of breath, light work” patting his helmet “go out there and show them” taking the bottle from him, he ran back on “you can’t be swearing now” Robyn said “nah, it is fuck them other kids though. Who doing it like Junior, none of them though. My son is carrying this team, and that shit about to change. I know for a fact they going to snatch him up, I ain’t going to let him rest either, he ain’t going to be me” Robyn rolled her eyes at me “what are you like Chris” she said “nah, be for real Robyn. Shit is serious, I know what it’s like to slip and I ain’t letting him slip, I am going to be on his ass” Robyn just didn’t know what to say “exactly Emi, tell your mom that” she is talking her own thing “you let Raihan off and he gets it” she pointed out “you right, I do. But because Raihan doesn’t know what he wants, and I don’t mind that, he does, and he is good at that. Once he tells me he is serious about whatever, then I will. Also he is too cute” I chuckled “of course, he looks like you” she rolled her eyes “exactly” Raihan made his way over to us “where you get the candy from boy?” I asked “auntie” he pointed “oh those Kardashians” waving at Kyle smiling “well stay close thanks” I still hate that we are connected every time, they keep popping put kids too and they are always around the same age, so we clash.

Closing the car door after putting Emi in her seat, I am glad I fixed my own schedule. As soon as I came back from London, I dealt with Imani and her thing and then had this big game within the week and I had to make sure he was game ready too, I know I slip sometimes with the kids but I try my best with all, I am always there “uncle Chris” looking behind me “oh” I said “North” I didn’t expect her here “I was just seeing my cousin play” nodding my head “Junior is really good, makes everyone else look bad” she chuckled “yeah he is alright, I don’t like to gas him up now” I grinned “how is Rylee?” she asked “erm she is alright, erm a pain still. With or without you she is still a pain” I laughed “yeah I know” she mumbled “I miss her so much, and friendship like that doesn’t just disappear, I get like she was in a relationship, and she was in a different vibe, but I miss her, you think she will reply if I reach out” rubbing the side of my face “erm, I can’t lie. I think she may reply back but she is working currently in Monaco so yeah, I mean she will. She probably misses you too, you both were close, let’s be real now” she smiled “he changed her” she said “mhmm yeah I mean did he change her for the good though because what would my daughter be doing right now? This is what scares me, if you have changed yourself then do it but my daughter is on a different path and a single one at that, she is figuring herself out once again. She had Oakley that really made judged for her but now she is doing it for her so yeah, if you have changed then go for it” North is staring at me like I swore at her “thank you” she just said, walking off and getting into the car “what was that?” Robyn asked “North, she misses your princess” Robyn chuckled.

Herb is a character; I have to give him that because the way he pushed himself to be on a song with my daughter “did you use the uncle card on her?” I asked him “you damn right I did, I told her that I am your uncle right. You don’t play me like that woman” he is a trip “man you need your ass beat I can’t lie” putting my blunt out “I am proud of her though, she is always writing songs for other, that she forgets herself and I am like you want to sing remember that but her pen game is dangerous, this is how she expresses herself, she is happy so am I” Imani walked into the room “dad uncle is making me have a song with him” Herb gasped “nah, you listen here I took care of you” I sniggered “he is highly emotional, aye, sit down” I laughed out “man I am just saying” he sat down, Imani went over to the computer “you’re sick” he makes me laugh “got to make sure these kids know, how was London, you came back and you usually come to see me. It’s been a week too long” he is sensitive “London was alright, just another child to take care of. Nah I joke, it’s erm draining, it’s hard and it’s upsetting. Like just doing things for him, he clings me to like I am his dad, it’s crazy. I said you’re a bro but it’s like he wants that father love, I don’t know. I don’t care” I said waving him off “what you do for him then bro?” looking over at him “just help him, fed him actually. He doesn’t really eat, erm, he has this special bath thing, fill that up and stuff. He does the rest, just he is ok that is all. But like he is so tired, so weak. It’s not nice, then Rylee I said to her look he is staying here for a few days. Keep away, oh that girl. She looked very scared of him I think but then she was ok, she kept coming at him. She got on my nerves. Aziel warmed up to him, slept in the bed with him too, he just saw dad. He enjoyed it, but yeah. He is doing the IV thing today I think, so yeah it’s well. I am praying for him” Herb nodded his head “same, he is a good guy on tour, even if I was an asshole to him” I chuckled, he was so mean about him.

“What’s up, oh” I said, Taylan is here “hi” shaking his hand, smiling at him as I looked at Robyn. This was never said that he was coming “I am going into the living room” he said, nodding my head “smells nice” I pointed “thank you, I thought I would cook all the good things, this is why I said come home but you was only popping into to see Imani anyways” walking over to Robyn “erm, since when was he coming?” I asked, “was he banned?” she asked “no but like we said no boyfriends? We did say that right” I am confused “but that was like when they was together, when Rylee was with Oakley but that ended so really we don’t need to worry and ban it like that, he can come” I pulled a face “no he can’t, I am sorry, but we didn’t discuss this at all, you can’t just jump and say this and then go back on it. I am not having every child boyfriend just walking in like that, discuss it with me. I know he is your perfect person but discuss it with me and no it’s not a free house ok. You don’t move right at all” I huffed out “oh Chris, your daughters have to grow” she is stupid “not the point really is it? You’re being stupid on purpose, it’s not a free house and they both ain’t staying here. The rules apply, so whatever you had planned, cancel” walking off, I don’t care I am not having them in this house like that unless they was homeless, rules apply.

I wouldn’t usually answer my phone when eating but it’s Wadz so I will “what’s up?” you never know, it’s important anyways “how are you Chris? It’s late I know, I just been awake that’s all” I assumed why he was awake, so I was shocked he was really “it’s cool, that’s why I picked up. How come you’re awake, everything good” picking up my drink sitting back on the chair “yeah, he is asleep and everything just he has that appointment tomorrow, then Ybeez told me like I have that meeting for his clothing line and I didn’t remember, and he said we all have to be there, I said nah Oakley can’t be, he goes nah not him but like the boys, I am like but we the ones that know and it puts us in a position where he will go alone to the appointment, I am unsure on what to do. That IV thing can take hours sometimes, someone needs to sit with him even if he falls asleep, just you know these hospitals aren’t good sometimes, they don’t explain shit either. I am stuck because this meeting is for him, his money, like we need to make money. His clothing line, you know. Trying to keep it alive since he is silent with nothing to do” I groaned out “mhmm, you know what. There is only two people left in this, Kenza chick or my daughter. That is it” Wadz went silent “who will he listen too” he mumbled “that’s your choice bro, I think they both would do it but yeah. Just do that. And relax, I told you if you need anything in regards to that I got you ok? Just rest” he worries too much “thank you Chris, appreciate it. Speak soon” disconnecting the call “your dad said that you can’t stay here, like with the whole boyfriend thing” placing the phone on the table, looking at Robyn “nah, you right. I don’t want that yeah, it’s not what I want. I don’t care if his parents allow it, I don’t. Not in my house, you can come but not sleepovers unless you both married, ok Robyn” staring at her “I respect that, it’s ok. Rihanna said it’s fine” Taylan said “maybe speak to the head of the house next time, but I am not mad at you, you’re good” I said to him, Robyn stared at me, and I just smiled.

“Head of the house” Robyn repeated as she closed the bedroom door “yep, and it’s true. Don’t’ make me say things that could just make us argue, we get on fine. I told you about these kids, they get in the way of us” I want to shut her down before she starts, pulling my boxers up as I turned around “yeah but you did that in front of the kids” I shrugged “it’s true though, you tell me why is it my phone is always ringing? Why do the kids come to me Robyn? Why is it you come to me? Huh? You know I am the head of the house and what says goes, just because you got more money then me doesn’t give respect or power. It’s just money, if you think otherwise then let me know, but even if Imani comes here with a man, I don’t care. I don’t want to know, they don’t sleep in my house when they could split after a while, they grow up and get their own shit got it” Robyn wants to say more, I know she does “you are really something else” she said half laughing “I am me Robyn, I hate when you do shit behind my back, that is what gets me mad. I hate when you pop up and say I have done this, or I have done that. Fuck that, call me. Tell me! Not hard it is” I barked “why are you shouting at me, I am talking to you” I kissed my teeth “because you do this every time! Look how that turned out huh, I just want you to ask. OK? Sorry if I shouted” let me apologise before she doesn’t drop it “I will next time” she mumbled, but she won’t, and I know it.

Pulling open the door frowning at Wadz “I just needed a home to take a piss in” he made his way inside “I’ve just come back from Monaco so I’m trying to unpack right now” closing the door “today is your lucky day” she turned to me “when is it ever my lucky day; what is it though?” He stuffed his hands in his pockets “so we have a business meeting which clashes with Oakley’ appointment, he had to have this drug through IV and it takes a few hours maybe, depending really but like the doctors are negligent at times so we stay with him, he may need to get up and whatever. We all need to be in this thing, it’s to do with his money and things and the clothing line. I know his appointment is important but if not the I will go, I asked if he wanted you or Kenza there and he said you, so congratulations. Can you?” My mouth hung open “me!? Out of his best friend?” I said “you can hold his hand again like you did before” he smiled “he told you; so he said me over Kenza” I am shocked “as long as you don’t beat his ass then yeah, he trusts you, but he isn’t your pity, that’s what he said” I am shocked “wow, ok” crossing my arms across my chest “I don’t think he’s pity, why do you boys think that. So what do I do? Just sit with him? Not speak” Wadz laughed “I am sure you will, but just take care of him, he is in the car” I frowned “now!?” I spat “how you know if I was going to be home?” that is crazy to even think I would be here “your dad said you would be” letting out an oh, this all makes sense now “oh my dad is sneaky, can I just change. I am in heels and a dress” he nodded his head “Aziel? Where is he, it’s silent” looking at the van, Oakley is just in there, I know he is looking “he is with Halle, staying over there. Grace couldn’t do it you see, but won’t be long” I said to him, let me get changed.

This whole journey here was so awkward like the silence, and with Oakley dressed like a eskimo so nobody can see him is crazy, he is just covered so nobody can see. But we made it here and we are just sat here in silence, this IV thing looks so long too “did you bring your lotion with you?” I asked “no” he said ever so bluntly “could have done your arms” he just nodded his head “can I talk? Or you want me to just be quiet” he laughed “when have you ever been silent, I know it’s hurting your stomach to not speak so go for it” opening my bag “well I didn’t want to annoy you” opening the Vaseline “can I?” I asked, he looked at me “where you putting that” he questioned “lips?” he is laughing “you want to put Vaseline on my lips, you just want to grease me up” he is acting like I won’t just do it “but can I?” I said again “I don’t like it, I can lick my lips” I frowned “not even saliva will fix that, just let me” I got up from the chair “ah man, you’re just jarring” I shushed him “let me will you, close your lips” he closed his lips and rolled his eyes, placing the Vaseline on his lips and then he moved his head “let me just smooth it out, you’re being dramatic” smoothing out the Vaseline “there we go, rub your lips together then” sitting back down, grabbing the tissue from the side and wiping my fingers “you like my bald look” he asked me “it defines your cheekbones even more, can I?” I asked, “can you what?” he looked at me smiling “cute, with your shiny lips. Your hat” I pointed, he shrugged but I did it anyways “I haven’t looked in the mirror since” he mumbled, stroking the side of his face “honestly, I can imagine how much it hurts you that this has happened” placing his hat back on “but you know since we are here and we have time, can we talk?” He looked over at me and shrugged “go for it, I’m listening. I chose you because I know you like to talk” he knows me well “or did you want to see my face?” I grinned “trust me it’s not” I think he is lying.

[1plus1kiyoomi]

Chapter 12: Lost

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[masterlist] [kia’s slambook]

warnings: mentions of sex

You and Kia prepare for your trip, waiting for Akaashi. He mentioned about picking you up since Bokuto lent him his car. You remember about the card Sakusa told you about.

You go to his room, making sure you don’t touch anything, and see that there are two bedside tables. You checked the one on the left first. You open the drawers and see boxes of condoms, some opened, some still new. You close it and go to the other table to get the card.

Something in you says to go check the other drawer again, but it would make you feel guilty. You hear Akaashi’s car honk so you go out instead. You take Kia from the couch and leave the house.

‘Did he date someone in the last 3 years?’ The thought is bothering you and Akaashi notices. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you reply, smiling. He carries Kia and puts  Kia in the safety seat of the car. He returns to the driver’s seat while you sit on the shotgun seat.

You continue to think about what you saw. You broke up. So what if he had a girlfriend? You have no right to dig in your nose into his business. Why are you so upset about him having sex with other women? He’s a grown man. He has his needs.

“You’re spacing out,” Akaashi points out. You shake the thoughts off your mind and stare out of the window. You groan, the thoughts coming back in again. “Spill it.” So you do. You tell him about what you saw. “Why are you so upset? So what if he had sex with someone? You broke up with him, remember?”

“Exactly why I’m bothered!” You cover your face with your hands in frustration.

“If you’re so bothered, why don’t you ask him about it later?” Akaashi suggests, his eyes on the road. You sigh, nodding.

You three arrive at the theme park and suddenly you feel at ease to be outside again. Kia starts running, but luckily, Akaashi has long legs. He easily keeps up with her. You make your way to the booth, while Akaashi carries Kia around to look at some figurines by the entrance.

After you successfully retrieve your reservation tickets, you enter the theme park. Despite being a weekday, it’s still packed with tourists. There are also students in uniforms, probably in a school trip.

“Mama! Look! Robot!” Kia points to the Bumblee Bee statue. Akaashi puts her down and she runs to the statue. The figure starts speaking and Kia’s mouth hangs wide open in amazement. “It talks! Mama! Keikei! It talks!”

You continue to walk around the theme park, stopping on shops and stalls from time to time. While Akaashi excuses himself to go the toilet, you see an ice cream food stall and Kia immediately asks you to buy some for her. You take her to the stall and carry her so she can choose a flavor.

“That would be 600 yen,” the shopkeeper tells you. You put Kia down to take money out of your wallet. You pay for the ice cream. The employee gives you the treat and when you look down, Kia isn’t by your side anymore. “Kia?”

You go around the stall, in hopes that Kia just took a look somewhere near. You search and search but you don’t see any sign of your daughter. Akaashi comes back and sees you getting antsy.

“Where’s Kia?”

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“Take a good rest, boys. We’ll be back to practice next week. Enjoy your free time because we won’t be having any left after this. Cool down and you may leave,” the MSBY Black Jackals coach announces. The players thank him and say their good byes.

“Training ended earlier than I thought,” Atsumu sighs in relief. “I’m so excited to go home and be in the comfort of my bed.”

“Wanna go to the gym together this Saturday, Bokuto-san?” Hinata asks the older player as they start stretching.

“If I don’t have anything to do,” Bokuto replies.

“Isn’t Akaashi in town?” Sakusa speaks, stretching his wrists. Bokuto’s attention gets stuck on the other spiker’s wrists and he forgets to respond. “Hey.”

“Oh, yeah. Akaashi is in town. How���d you know?” Bokuto eyes the curly haired man in suspicion.

“(Y/N) told me. They’re in Universal today,” Sakusa explains.

“Omi, you’re okay with Kia going to crowded places that is surely full of other people’s germs?” The blonde questions, stretching his legs.

“Do you really think I expect her to grow up like me?” Sakusa rolls his eyes, stretching his back this time. “Germs can be washed away. They can get disinfected. It’s nothing compared to Kia’s upbringing. I don’t have plans to raise her to be clean, I want her to grow up to be someone who she wants to be.”

Atsumu smiles because of his teammate’s response. Not long ago, he would think of Kia as some sort of hindrance, but now he seems happy that she’s around. The blonde also noticed how Sakusa is gradually becoming more soft with his words and actions.

They finish stretching and go back to their dorms. Sakusa is packing his things when he suddenly feels anxious. He can’t think straight. He feels something bad is about to come. He opens his door and check the hallway. “Miya’s not here. If it’s not him, what could it be?”

Sakusa goes back into his room, hearing his phone ring. He sees Kia’s contact name and answers quickly.

“What is it Kia?”

“Kyo... I lost mama,” Kia cries on the other line.

That tone. That way she said it. The feel. It’s too similar with your words 3 years ago.

“Omi... Let’s break up.”

“What? Where are you right now?” Kiyoomi runs out of the dorms. Adrenaline kicking in as he hears Kia’s sobs.

“Why? Let’s talk about it. I’m coming over.”

“I see a dinosaur,” Kia responds, worry and panic in her voice.

“I just don’t see a future for us, Omi.”

“Don’t end the call, okay?” Kiyoomi says softly despite his worries. He hears Kia crying again. He starts his car and connects his phone to the bluetooth of his car. “Hey, stop crying. I’m on my way. Just stay wherever you are.” He doesn’t get respond so he speeds up his driving. “Kia? Baby?”

“Is it something I did? Tell me! Don’t just ignore me, (Y/N).”

“Okay. I’ll wait for you.”

“I’m sorry, Sakusa. But I can’t do this anymore.”

Kiyoomi’s sports car has never been put into good use until now. He arrives in the theme park in top speed record. Luckily, there isn’t a queue on the booths so he gets a ticket promptly.

“Kia?” He puts his phone close to his ear, looking at the theme’s park map. “Are you still near the dinosaurs?”

“You’re joking, right? Tell me this is a prank.”

“Yes. Kia stayed here like you told me,” Kia responds, already calmed down. Kiyoomi rushes to the Jurassic Park area and looks for her in every corner. But Kia couldn’t explain her exact location well. He spots a kid and calls him.

“No. This isn’t a joke.”

“Have you seen this child?” He shows the back of his phone to the boy. The boy nods.

“Yes. She’s sitting near the entrance of the restaurant,” the boy answers. Before Kiyoomi could thank him, the boy recognizes him. “Aren’t you Sakusa Kiyoomi? I’m a big fan of your team!”

“Ah, thanks. Come to my next game, okay? I’ll give you a jersey.” Kiyoomi leaves him and goes to where the kid directed.

Kiyoomi spots her and his steps become bigger and his pace becomes faster. Kia sees him so she climbs down of the bench she is sitting on and runs to meet Kiyoomi halfway. He takes her into his arms, tightly hugging her. He feels her wrap her arms around him, and his heart starts breaking into pieces.

“(Y/N), I know you’re still in there. Whatever it is, let’s work it out,” Kiyoomi shouted from outside of your apartment’s door. He’s been sitting there for hours now. He leaned his back on your door, his knees close to his chest.

Did you really leave?

Were you not coming back?

There are a lot of words he had yet to tell you. He wanted to see you two accomplish your dreams together. He wanted to wake up and the first thing he sees is your face. He wanted to come home and receive your hugs as soon as he steps into the door. He wanted to see you walk down the aisle. He wanted to grow old with you. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. You were all he wanted.

He regretted not hugging you tighter. He regretted not kissing you more. He regretted not spending a lot with you. If only he could do all those things one more time.

“I love you...” He cried. You always said those three words first. Why weren’t you responding?

He’s too late.

He had already lost you.

"Kyo, why are you crying?” Kia asks him, her small hands on his cheeks. She starts tearing up, sad that he’s crying. He doesn’t even know he’s crying. His thoughts is too full of fear and anxiety.

There are still a lot of lessons about life he wants to teach Kia. He wants to see her accomplish her dreams. He wants to drop her off to school. He wants to receive her hugs as he comes home from practice. He wants to see her fall in love with someone who loves her just as much as she does. He wants to see Kia grow. He wants her to see him as her father for the rest of her life.

He regrets not hugging her tight enough. He regrets not kissing her good morning and good night. He regrets not spending time with her. He regrets not being there from the start.

What if he was too late?

What if he didn’t answer her call?

What if he lost her?

“Kyo? Are you mad?” Kia’s lower lip is quivering, tears already coming out of her eyes.

“Kia..” he calls her. She pulls away from his hand and looks at him.

“Yes?” Kia’s voice is shaky. She’s afraid he’ll scold her. She promised to be a good girl. What if he hates her?

Kiyoomi takes a look at her face. He caresses her cheek with his thumb, then plants a kiss on her forehead.  ‘But I’m not too late this time. So I’ll make sure I won’t regret anything. I will never lose the two of you again.’

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

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Facts:

Most dinosaurs were vegetarian

Many dinosaurs had feathers

The longest dinosaur name is Micropachycephalosaurus

Small carnivore dinosaurs are most likely to be the smartest type of dinosaurs

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Taglist:  @elianetsantana aoi-turtle ptv-hades  aquzairus a-applepi  justoneofthefangirls arianna-r13 morenabambinii chaelysian loser-keiji mxngy ne-kuroo n1fangirlsblog d-efend missalicebaskerville marvelousbakugou @agaashesmilktea​ bonkyandloki kimi09  ntimacy @mkazuyuh  ushi-please minty-mangos-world @dearest-kiyoomi

[blackmissfrizzle]

Just Right (3)

Part 2

Characters: Angel Reyes x black!plussized!reader

Chapter Summary: Someone throws a wrench in the plans.

Chapter Warning: Footbal AU. Don’t hate me please 😬 angst, implied smut, and some very petty behavior.

If you want to read more here’s my masterlist and you want to be notified when I post here’s my taglist

Divider credit: @firefly-graphics

The next morning, you had a pep in your step. Angel left you in bed with breakfast and a note saying he went on a run.

Coming downstairs you heard Angel’s voice, you assumed he was on the phone and not talking to the devil herself.

“Adelita, this is a surprise.” Angel backed away from her when he heard your voice.

“Y/N,” she smiled and pulled you into a hug. Backing away she twirled your hair around your finger. “I see the drought is over. Who’s the lucky guy?” If Adelita wasn’t so damn conceited she would’ve smelled Angel on you. But of course, you wouldn’t be able to bag a guy like Angel.

Angel cleared his throat and stepped in between the two of you, grabbing onto Adelita’s hips. “Uhh, let’s leave Y/N alone. I’m sure she’s not the kiss and tell type.”

“Not around you.” She joked, patting Angel’s chest. “Once we’re done talking me and you can have some girl talk like old times. Just you’ll be the one sharing stories this time.”

The nerve. This is the second time in your life that you wanted to knock Adelita out. “Yeah sure.” You gave her a tight smile over your shoulder and went back to your room.

While walking you could hear the hushed whispers and the sounds of lips kissing. As soon as you knew you were out of sight you ran to your room and immediately started packing.

“What are you doing?” Right after Adelita left, Angel ran to you. “What does it look like Angel?”

Tugging your pants out of your hands, Angel stopped you. “You don’t have to leave.”

“And what?!” You screamed in his face. “Stay here with you and Adelita?!”

He tried to hug you, but you pushed him away. “You really must be crazy. How are you just gonna take her back?”

“She was my fiancée, she deserves the benefit of the doubt.” Angel explained like it was a one size fits all reason.

“Oh, the same fiancée that dumped you once your future was unsure.” You scrunched your face up. “The same fiancée that told you it was over through a letter? The same fiancée that was all over social media hanging out and partying while you were in rehab? The same fiancée that so happens to ‘coincidentally’ come back into your life after you just made the biggest comeback ever?” You brushed past him went out the door. “Yeah, you can miss me with that bullshit.”

Angel trailed behind you, hoping he could amend things with you. “Y/N, I’m sorry.”

Whipping around you shoved him. “Yeah, you are. You know honestly, I don’t feel bad for myself as much as I do for you. I pray to God that he never makes me as pathetic as you. Have a nice life, Angel Reyes.”

Opening the front door revealed a sympathetic Mr. Felipe and an angry EZ. They both tried to stop you, but you kissed each man goodbye promising to keep in touch.

EZ waited until he saw you drive away to attack his brother. “What the fuck did you do?” Angel blocked some of his brother’s punches, but EZ managed to get some in.

Felipe was able to pull his youngest off his eldest. “EZ that’s enough!”

“Nah, Pop! You saw her. She practically ran out in tears.”

“It’s none of your damn business, Ezekiel!” Angel tried to walk away from them, but Felipe stopped him. “Explain yourself, son.”

“Adelita.” Both his father and brother groaned at that name. Now they knew why you ran out like that.

EZ didn’t have time for whatever excuse that his brother had. “You two deserve each other. And I hope when you come to your senses it’s too late.” He slammed the door on the way out, too disgusted with Angel to stay.

A few moments later Felipe followed his son out. “Pop,” Angel cried out, hoping to gain some sort of sympathy. “Not right now, Angel.” He stopped at the door and looked back at his son. “Unlike your brother I hope it won’t be too late for you to come to your senses. When you stick your head out of your ass, you and Y/N are perfect for each other.”

Once he was alone, Angel sat on the staircase wondering if he made the right decision.

Losing Angel just wasn’t about your heart breaking, but also losing your best friend. Those months spent with him was probably the best time of your life. The only thing that got you through the days were work and Rio.

At first, he assured you that he could just be your friend but someway somehow, he wormed his way into something more. You told him that you didn’t want him as some rebound, but he cockily said, “Ain’t no way I’m a rebound.” So, you stayed and started dating him.

You were reading a book when Rio came and laid his head in your lap. “Mamaaaa,” he sung kissing the little bit of your exposed fupa. “What do you want?” He was only this adorable when he wanted something like that extra cookie that would mess up his diet. “Nothing extra. Just go to dinner with me.”

“That’s it?” You closed your book and set it down to look at him curiously. “Yeah, I got a dress picked out, hairstylist and makeup artist on the way.”

“Wait, what kind of dinner is this?” Dinners with Rio never required all the hoopla. “The league always hosts a dinner for all the teams in the semifinals.”

“I know, I know, I know,” Rio trampled over your words, not letting you get a word in. “I know that dumbass is gonna be there, but I think it would be the perfect place to show him what he’s missing out on.”

If you went this would be the first time you saw Angel and you weren’t sure if you were ready for that. Last time he made you look like a fool. “I don’t know Rio.”

Sitting up, Rio picked you up and sat you down in your lap. “But mama,” he attacked your neck with his lips, adding a little bite every now and then. “I’ll be bored without you. And who am I gonna shove in a closet and fuck her like a dirty girl?”

“You’ll be fine without me for a couple of hours.”

“Alright, time for the big guns.” Rio led you to his bedroom with a covered mannequin in the center. Unveiling the mannequin, he revealed the most beautiful dress. You would be crazy to not wear that dress.

“Ok, I’ll go!” Rio pulled you by your hips against him. “Good, I thought I would have to use my other negotiation methods.”

“Nah, I still need convincing.” Rio backed you into the bed and pulled off your shorts. “Okay, but you got 15 minutes to cum two times before the stylist gets here.”

Angel was doing his best at trying to keep his cool. Adelita was making her way through all the owners, sponsors, and players ‘networking’ to gain traction for her cause. It wasn’t that he didn’t support, actually he was very supportive of it, but this night was in celebration of him and the other players. And he couldn’t ask her to quit it without looking like a complete douchebag.

“Are you two seriously making bets?” Angel wasn’t paying that much attention to Coco and Gilly until they said Adelita’s name. They were betting on when she would corner their team owner, Miguel Galindo. “How else are we gonna pass the time? Ain’t like there’s scintillating conversation.” Coco collected money from Riz and put it in his breast pocket.

“Pendejo,” Angel ordered another drink and while waiting for it he heard Coco whistle. Turning around to see what made Coco speechless, Angel was glad that he already set his old glass on the bar top, because he would’ve dropped it. There you were in the most beautiful dress looking like a goddess, but his mood soured when he saw that it was Rio escorting you.

Bishop walked up beside him and smacked him in the back of the head. “Fucking dumbass. Now she’s with that asshole.” Angel opened his mouth to say something, but Bishop held up his hand. “I don’t wanna hear it. And you better leaver her alone, she looks happy.” His coach pointed his chin towards you and Rio kissing. Angel slammed back his drink and ordered another one. This was about to be a long night.

“I’m gonna go say hi to Bishop and the guys.” Rio looked for your friends and saw that Angel was right there next to them. “You sure? You want me to go with you?” It warmed your heart that Rio was so protective over you. It was unfamiliar territory for you. Usually, you were the one protecting others. “No, you stay here with your team, I’ll be okay.” Rio quirked his eyebrow, questioning you. He was trying to break you out of the habit of you masking your feelings, pretending you’re fine when you’re really not. “Rio, I promise. I’ll be good.” You patted his chest and started to walk away, but then he caught Angel staring at the two of you real hard and he couldn’t help but give him a show.

Spinning you around into his arms, Rio smashed his lips against yours. His still taste a little bit of yourself from when he wanted to make you his meal. Rio’s hands drifted to your ass and you did little to stop him. Ending the kiss, he tugged your bottom lip slowly releasing it and ending your connection. “Go say hi to your friends.” He whispered in your ear, fixing some of your lipstick that got under your lips.

Angel wanted to knock Rio the clean the fuck out. Who the fuck did he think he was practically dry humping you in public like that? “You better keep your mouth shut. You lost your privileges to be mad.” Coach Hank warned Angel as he saw you approach the group.

“Hey guys!” You were genuinely happy to see all of them. Since, you cut off contact with Angel you haven’t talked to any of them at all.

They all lined up to hug you, almost fighting each other to be the first one. But Angel waited his turn. He had a lot more to say than just hi.

It was a bit awkward at first. Neither one of you made the first move. Eventually, you threw yourself in his arms and you were almost a goner. You did not know that hugging him would bring back all those feelings you tried to bury deep down.

“You look beautiful.” He kept a hand around your wrist, his thumb stroking the inside of it. “Thank you.”

His eyes kept dipping to your dress. There were some cut out pieces revealing more skin than he cared for. “Where’s the rest of your dress?”

Snatching your wrist away, you crossed your arms over your chest to keep yourself from slapping the shit out of Angel. “Rio doesn’t seem to mind.”

Angel invaded your space and glared down at you. “Do I look like Rio?”

“Do I look like Adelita?”

Angel bit the inside of his cheek. He knew he had no reason to question you. You weren’t his, but damn it he wanted you to be.

“This was a mistake coming over here. Go back and talk to your fiancée.”

“She’s not my fiancée.”

Skrtt, you stopped your retreat. “Say what?”

“I said she’s not my fiancée.” Angel wasn’t able to explain further. Adelita finally came and graced you with her presence. She didn’t pay any attention to Angel. All her attention was on you. Adelita was actually pulling you away to talk to one of the other coaches about joining their staff.

This was almost as torturous as talking to Angel. Adelita barely let you get a word in. She was acting like she was your damn agent. Luckily, Rio came and saved the day.

“Where are we going?” You whispered as he pulled you into the hallway. “Don’t worry about it.” He jiggled each door until he found an unlocked door and pushed you through.

“Rio no,” you weakly protested clutching onto his tux. “What? You don’t wanna give daddy a little something something?” He pouted, knowing it was your weakness.

“Okay, but it has to be fast.” Rio kissed you some more knowing how turned you got by simply making out.

Due to your combined breaths getting heavier neither one of you heard the turning of the doorknob. It wasn’t until the light from the hallway shone on you and Rio, exposing your dirty deed.

“Oh shit, my bad dawg!” Angel lifted his head from Adelita’s neck and apologized to the other couple. He didn’t mean it all. Angel saw Rio lead you to the hallway and by the mischievous look he had on his face, he knew his opponent was up to no good.

The little smirk on Angel’s face told you that none of it was an accident. “It’s okay, I wasn’t feeling well anyway. I think we should go home.” You smirked back at Angel. He wasn’t the only one that can play games.

“C’mon Angel, they need to get home.” Adelita winked at you and led an unwilling Angel back to the party.

You were almost out until you got stopped by Mr. Galindo. He was the only team owner you hadn’t talked to that night.

With Miguel Galindo trying to convince you to join his staff and Adelita standing next to you patiently waiting for her chance, Angel and Rio were left alone with each other.

“I don’t know what you’re doing, but stay the fuck away from Y/N. You’re no good for her.” Angel had to refrain from snatching up Rio as he laughed. “You got jokes man.” Rio stepped closer to him, they were basically nose to nose. “At least when I make her cry it’s from my dick and not from being a dickwad.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you kept watch on Rio and Angel. Those two couldn’t be alone without trying to fight in the first 30 seconds.

The scene before you was getting to be too much, but you couldn’t do anything without being disrespectful towards Miguel. Thankfully, Coco and Gilly were watching them too and were able to pull Angel away.

Somehow Miguel talked you into staying for the entire dinner. And because the universe loved you so much you and Rio were assigned to the same table as Angel and Adelita.

After Adelita formally introduced herself to him. And you didn’t know if it was the alcohol or not, but it seemed that she was flirting with Rio. Not that you had anything to worry about. Rio wasn’t entertaining her at all.

“She take my money when I’m in need. Yeah, she’s a trifling’ friend indeed.” As soon as you recognized the notes, you tried to stomp Rio’s foot, but he was too quick.

“Huh, what was that?” Adelita didn’t quite catch what Rio was saying. “Oh nothing, I just got a song stuck in my head.  Now I ain’t saying she a gold digger. But she ain’t messing’ with no broke bro.”

Angel had to admit to himself that was funny, but ain’t no way he’ll let Rio know that.

“Stop it!” You whispered in Rio’s ear. Even if Adelita was oblivious to him making fun of her, everyone else surrounding them wasn’t. “Now you know you always tell me that but we both know you don’t mean it hear or at home.” Heat crept up your face and all you could do was hide your face in the crook of Rio’s neck. Rio slightly turned to kiss your forehead while fingering the bracelet he got you.

Once the glint of the bracelet caught Adelita’s eye she snatched your wrist from Rio. You didn’t mind though because you and Rio were off in your own little world. Not even the harsh stare from Angel could tear your eyes away from Angel.

“Ouch! What the fuck, Angel?” Adelita rubbed at her ankle. “My bad.” He frowned as Rio smirked at him knowing full well he was the intended target.

As the night went on, Rio’s and Angel’s antics went up. You don’t know what you did, but you had two petty kings arguing over you. And at times it was funny but also stressful.

The little innuendos concerning you flew over Adelita’s head but everyone else was getting them. They were getting so vicious that Coco and Gilly started another bet on who would swing first.

The event was concluding when things got downright ugly. Angel once again voiced his concerns of Rio dating you. Rio had enough and went for the low blow. “You’re just mad because I already took your girl and I’m about to take your city and your ring.”

Coco and Gilly’s bet was long forgotten as Angel went for Rio. “Don’t be mad, Reyes. I’m just spitting facts. If I’m wanna keep it hunnid, if I threw the right amount of cash, I could have your other girl too.”

“RIO!” You scolded him trying to pull him away. Thank god, Adelita was nowhere near to hear that little bit.

“Nah, babe fuck that.” Rio shrugged you off of him and stood toe to toe to Angel. “You ain’t on top no more big dawg. Get use to it.”

Angel just shook his head and turned around like a wounded animal. “Coco, give Gilly his money.”

“What?” Coco asks too late because Angel threw the first punch at Rio. And once they started fighting it was hard to get them to stop. Even Gilly couldn’t hold Angel. It wasn’t until you did something that they stopped.

Bishop tried to stop you once he noticed what you were attempting to do, but you slipped right past him. The boys were in between blows giving you the perfect opportunity to step in the middle of them. As soon as you became an obstacle each man lowered their fist.

Angel actually started to cower some when he saw your face. This was like your training face but a thousand times worse. Rio never saw you this pissed and he was beginning to get scared to breath the wrong way. Either way both men knew to shut the hell up.

Facing Angel first, you shoved him in the chest. “Angel Ignacio Reyes, I know you were raised better than this.”

“I’m sorry.” Angel mumbled, his eyes downcasted.

“And you!” You faced Rio, pointing a finger in his face. “I’ll deal with you when we get home.”

“Next time leave your petty bullshit for the football field.” You told the both of them before heading out without even waiting for Rio. 

Damn, you knew you should’ve stayed your behind at home.

Tagging: @tashawar​ @ourlittlesecretsoveragain​ @starrynite7114​ @sambucky8​ @mygirlrenee​ @richonne4life​ @readsalot73​ @chaneajoyyy​ @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat​ @jassydwill11​ @otomefromtheheart​ @miss-nori85​ @xsweetdellzx​ @cocogodess15​ @ljstraightnochaser​ @my-rosegold-soul​ @angrythingstarlight​ @brattyfics​ @lovebennycolon​ @langiinspirations​ @chibsytelford​ @trulysuccubus​ @spookys-girl​ @sesamepancakes​ @literaturefeen​ @brownsugarcoffy​ @thesandbeneathmytoes​ @fvckthisbxtchup​ @theartisticqueen​ @vsfavs​ @tomhardydallasstarsgirl​ @angelreyesgirl​ @woahitslucyylu​ @marvelmaree​ @blessedboo​

[danwylds]

Right okay I never actually got myself to write this fic so have my notes for the fic except I haven’t read through them since June when I wrote them and I refuse to edit anything

Right is bakery au but not

Neil either turned down the offer of exy for the foxes or for coach whatever the fuck his name was

He got caught earlier tho which is . Unfortunate

Stuart still comes in

Maybe I’ll have him move back to Britain for a while? To avoid the moriyamas n stuff

He NEVER misses a match of the ravens/foxes tho

Which leads to him seeing the frankly sickening interview of Kevin and riko

Neil is like yo Stuart let me start smth

Stuart is like Neil the only reason you’d go back to the states right now is if you did smth that you could hide and you can’t do that for shit

So Neil is like yk what I’m gonna find a way bc I’m not letting this kid go through this (Andrews quite into this idea when it’s shared)

So he says yo. Stuart. Uncle. Sir. Let me open a bakery or something in the states

Stuart is like no you fucking idiot

And Neil is like but c o n s i d e r

You can get info or smth

Just have another business in the states yk

AND I’d get out of your hair

And Stuart is like hm okay but you’ve gotta live in a complex I choose for you

And Neil is all only if I can choose where it’s gonna be

It’s a deal

He (very obviously) chooses a place near palmetto

Stuart is tired but is like he’ll be under protection n shit so I guess??? And he’s not stupid enough to start something right. Right.

Wrong.

Anyways.

It’s a bakery that starts out kinda slow

But Neil finds he likes baking and Stuart pays for his nephew to have some sort of normal life so it doesn’t matter too much

Renee starts to frequent it

At first it’s to pick up sweets for Andrew

But eventually she starts bringing Allison on dates there bc they have a cute little seating area (figure where Seth fits in? I think he’ll survive?)

Uhhh what’s a timeline

I think this’ll be around the winter holidays (Jewish neil? Look into it)

So thanksgiving will have happened . I think Andrew agreed to go Not bc he particularly wanted to but bc he cares for Nicky and knows he’ll probably go anyways

Yeah so thanksgiving. h

Andrew JUST got off his drugs and he’s so damn protective of his own that he hardly even leaves their sides

Edens is a def no for em

Meanwhile Neil is tentative friends w Renee who has brought all the upperclassmen there a few times

Allison bullies him for his clothing but it’s okay he deserves it

Renee is sweet and stops em from doing anything too drastic which Neil appreciates

Matt,, my baby,, he’s so happy he just asks Neil about random stuff

Dan is sweet too!!

Seth kinda hates him but Neil hasn’t paid enough attention to return the favor

One day close to the winter banquet the upperclassmen are like yeah Neil we’re gonna go to this thing and it should be really fun!! Oh you know what? Our teammate Nicky needs a date and his cousin doesn’t really like anyone from his class and he’s super fucking crazy abt it so if that doesn’t deter you then you should totally join !

Neil is like oh chance to fuck up Riko? Absolutely I’ll go

ALLISON DRESSES HIM

HE LOOKS SO GOOD

when he and Allison emerge from the girls room Aaron is like Who is that

And Allison is “oh nickys date (:”

Andrew gets twitchy and holds a knife to her throat

Renee is like Andrew I stg get away from my gf and Seth is like manic pixie nightmare fuel I’m gonna beat the shit outta you

And Neil is just like same shit every day I guess

And he’s like so you’re Nicky then? COMPLETELY IGNORING YK. ALL THAT

Andrew is like “he is. Don’t touch him”

And Neil straight up says I don’t think you get to set boundaries for people, actually

And Neil has no idea what the effect is of that on Andrew but it’s enough to make him glare

Which is terrifying to everyone but Neil bc again. Dumbass

Anyways Neil very purposely hooks his arm through nickys and they head off to the bus

Dunno what happens there but I’ll figure it out

RIKOOO ROASTTT **AIRHORNNNNSSS**

It’s glorious

Kevin and riko are like who the FUCK are you

And Neil is all wouldn’t you like to know weather boy

They relocate and they’re all like . Ah. That’s why you and Renee get along

It’s kinda funny ngl

Andrew doesn’t think so but fuck him

I think that they head back to the bus when this shit I’d over and wymack is like excuse me what the fuck

And Aaron in german is like thank god he never joined the team bc I could not handle more of that

And Neil in German is like would you believe me I’d I told you I was almost signed

And Andrew is like I fucking Knew it I hate it here

N e ways things go back to normal for the most part

The upperclassmen still show up

Seth has a bit of grudging respect for him

It’s later that all the foxes are getting drunk from a lose that Renee calls him and is like Neil please can I usher them inside for a bit I think they need a place to chill so we don’t get yelled at for being too loud in the dorms

And Neil is like uhh sure why not

It turns out it was not just the upperclassmen

He gives them all water bottles and whatever and lets them lounge around

Gives em some food which they pay for w the coachs card

Uhhh idk time passes and some of the foxes pass out so neil is like y’all can chill in the break room? They have couches

He stays out there bc the bakery is still open

Andrew comes out like hey fuck you but also can I get more of those pastries

Idk I want them to be in love already

Uhh yeah I think they don’t say anything until

“what happened to your face”

“A truth for a truth?”

“If you must insist”

“Fine, my father tried to kill me”

Andrew raises his eyebrow but neils like bitch you said a truth for a truth it’s your turn now

Neil asks him why he wears arm bands

We get the whole knives and scars

They’re quiet again

I don’t know man let them be in love

Uhhh okay

I think Andrew will tell neil like

“[code]”

“Huh”

“That’s the code for the court, Kevin practices at night.”

Neil is like how would you know I’d enjoy playing exy? And andrew is like dipshit that’s how we met

I’m running out of ideas oh no

Maybe they play a couple of night game things

Exchange a few more truths

OHHH OKAY COOL SO THEN NEIL CAN GO TO EDENS W THEM THE WHOLE “DOESNT MEAN I WOULDNT BLOW YOU” THING CAN STILL HAPPEN

sick okay! They start dating but since Baltimore happened earlier they never actually come out to the rest of the team

I like to think when they play against the ravens again neils like haha babe you can have as many sweets as you want if you shut down the goal

Also Neil says it’s hot which is like a big thing to persuade Andrew but shhhhh

Yeah the foxes win they celebrate by getting drunk and they all show up at neils like hello again (:

Same thing happens but this time andrew and Neil are together and basically are doing nothing but making out

At least the store is closed

Nicky comes out and just YELLS

YALLLLLL COME LOOK @ THIS SHIT

Allison wins SO much money

Yeah idk how to end this but happily ever after :3

If you want me to turn this into a fic I will!

[darker-soft-starker]

Starker High School AU Pt. 7 (1...6)

tw: general Howard Stark warning

----

So, here’s the thing.

Peter meant to ask May about the letter the night he got it back from Tony, He really did. But then everyone was in such a good mood, he couldn’t bring himself to shatter that to satisfy his own curiosity.

So then he meant to ask the next day.

And he tries, he really does.

But the letter feels as heavy as an anvil in his desk drawer and Peter is too nervous to ask about it. Something always comes up or he gets too scared to shatter the image of the good, obedient nephew he is, one who doesn’t go rifling through mail not addressed to him, prying into personal business.

So he flusters and stumbles pretty badly for the first couple attempts. He changes topic quickly, pretending like he was going to ask about something else, asking himself where exactly his business ends and where his curiosity begins.

Once during a gymnastics comp he stopped mid routine to check on a rival who had fallen from the rings and injured themselves. His coach asked when he was going to stop being a goddamn martyr.

He shakes the Magic 8-Ball on Monday morning and asks the universe if it’s an appropriate time to approach May.

Reply hazy, try again.

Well, that’s not what his flagging courage had hoped for. He shakes it again.

Ask again later.

One more time, harder.

Better not tell you now.

“What the hell,” he whispers, placing it haphazardly upon where he took it. “That’s bullshit.”

“What’s with the potty mouth,” May asks suddenly from behind him. He turns as she’s affixing some dangling earrings to her ears. “What’s wrong, kiddo?”

“Nothing,” he sighs. “Just - do you have a minute?”

She checks her watch. “I have about forty seconds. Is something wrong - are you okay?”

“No - I mean yes, I’m okay. Are...are you?”

“Top of the world, bubby,” she scoops her keys from the bowl, approaching him with a curious expression. “Why do you ask?”

There’s no easy way to ask without blatantly admitting to going through her things, and the last thing he wants her to think is that she can’t trust him.

“I just mean. If you weren’t. If there was something wrong, you would tell me, right?”

“Of course,” her face falls. “You’re acting strange, Pete.”

“I just worry, that’s all.”

You’re all I have left, is what loops over and over in his mind, but doesn’t say. She seems to hear it anyway, rushing forward and kissing his forehead, her perfume filling his nose.

“Everything is fine, bubs. The second it isn’t, you’ll be the first to know.”

“Okay.”

“I gotta go, but stop worrying okay? That’s my job. You have a good day.”

She hurries to scoop up her handbag and closes the door before he’s broken out of his thoughts long enough to reply. He sighs and shakes the stupid ball again before he leaves as well.

Cannot predict now.

Of course.

Just for once he’d like fate to be firmly on his side.

---

Something smells weird.

It’s sharp, chemical and not entirely unpleasant. Noticeable, however, sharp enough to cut through the usual musty smell of the library. It’s like apple cider, but overpowers the usual library smell of old books and dust and pencil shavings, a scent Peter has long associated with study, solitude, and the easing of his anxious heart from a gallop to a steady stride.

It’s not a bad smell, just misplaced.

And Tony’s been acting strange all study period. Like, weirder than normal - and his resting state of normal is already ineffably frenetic and bewildering, so this was an entirely different carton of eggs.

Peter doesn’t exactly want to bring it up, they’re kind of on a tenuously peaceful truce, a silent lay down of arms, so to speak.

Well, as peaceful as a truce can be while they call each other all sorts of names and rib each other over literally any sign of weakness, but still. They have some sort of an understanding now, and it’s all relatively innocent, good natured banter.

Mostly.

Peter for sure could have done without being called fuck-face-mcgee upon entering the library, but he’s willing to let it pass. He was late, after all.

“Anyway,” Peter says, sitting across the table from Tony, “so I think if we removed the monthly gym membership, we’d have an extra sixty per month that could go towards other stuff.”

“Like what?” Tony’s face pinches.

“I don’t know, like a college fund?”

“Ridiculous idea. I need that membership,” Tony rebukes, shrugging his leather jacket off, hooking it over the back of the chair. “When else am I supposed to get a reprieve from you and the cabbage patch?”

“When do I get a reprieve? I’m the money-maker. When do I get my break from work and childcare?”

“At work. What are you, like an art teacher or something? Your whole day is like a rich, white woman's vacation. Parents don’t get a lunch break.”

“Right. I’m sure watching Dora and burping an infant is as hard as teaching a class of thirty.”

“Wow. So dismissive. I mean, if you were a good spouse, you would give your withered and weary husband a break from screaming babies and shitty diapers.”

“Mhmm. That would mean I’d have to do something nice for you, and that doesn’t sound like me.”

Tony shakes his head. “We’re getting a divorce as soon as Molly is old enough to pick me as the superior parent,” he points to Peter’s papers. “Put that in the notes.”

Peter closes his eyes and sighs, willing himself not to lean over the table and smack the other boy.

“You are not the superior parent. You’re the deadbeat that forgets to pick her up from school and day drinks.”

“And yet, she loves me the most. You’re just the breadwinner who comes home grumpy every evening. I’m the cool dad.”

“Fine, keep your druglord baby. I never wanted kids anyway.”

“Fine. I’m keeping the car.”

“I’m keeping the apartment.”

“Good.”

“Great.”

They snicker quietly in a rare moment of camaraderie before a lightbulb goes off in Peter's head.

“What if we used the membership, but cut costs elsewhere, like, cutting our own hair and stuff. We could save for a yearly holiday, go to the beach or something.”

“Florida! Disney, roadtrip, yes,” Tony clicks his fingers towards Peter, smiling wide. “Look at you getting all savvy. Call the judge, the marriage is back on.”

“You can’t go to Disney for a few hundred dollars, dumbass, that’s barely the price of admission,” Peter scribbles on his pad, making note of their ideas. “You ever been?”

“Nope.”

“Really?”

“Not even once.”

“That’s surprising. Isn’t that where all rich white people take their baby sociopaths to beat up their first mascot?”

“One, I was never a baby, I emerged fully grown, and two, could you imagine Howard Stark within a mile of the happiest place on earth? He’d have a fucking stroke,” his face changes like he’s had an epiphany. “Not a bad idea, actually.”

Peter doesn’t mention that he doesn’t personally know Howard Stark but is willing to take Tony’s assessment at face value. That being said, he can’t imagine Tony, now, voluntarily heading to Disney without coercion or the promise of copious quantities of alcohol. He’d probably smoke and cuss and scare away small children.

He mind lingers on that particular characterisation, and for a moment tries to picture what Tony looked like as a kid, if he was a chubby, toothless little brat, can’t help then imagining him with Mickey Mouse ears, gleefully running through his gigantic home, harried caretakers running after him.

He must have been the worst.

“I’ve never been further than Washington,” Peter offers, “but that was for AcDec, so it wasn’t like we got to see much.”

“You did Academic Decathlon?”

“Yep.”

“Ew, why would you do that to yourself.”

“I still do it. It looks good on college applications and it’s fun,” he shrugs. “I like it. I’m good at it.”

Tony’s hands cover his mouth, but it doesn’t stifle the rising apple of his cheeks or the mirth in his voice.

“I’m feeling so much second-hand embarrassment for you right now.”

“Shut up,” Peter huffs, kicking him under the table, satisfied when the other boy winces. He fails to smother his own wince when he gets a kick in return, right in the kneecap. “Nothing wrong with being an intellectual.”

“You’re a fucking nerd, four-eyes.”

“What about you?” Peter rolls his eyes, keen to change the subject. “Been outside New York?”

Tony shrugs, tapping his pen on the pad, looking anywhere but at him. “When I was younger I’d sometimes go on my dad's business trips to Europe or Japan or whatever. And we have a house in Malibu.”

“That sounds awesome.”

Tony snorts. He shuffles on his seat, sliding their notes over and making further amendments in quick strokes, the cheap pen spurting bright red ink over the paper like arterial spray.

“Oh yeah, it was a real blast.”

Spoiled brat.

“Are you going anywhere for Thanksgiving?”

“With my family?” Tony looks up. “No, I’d rather stick my head up a turkey’s ass. You?”

Without warning, Peter’s hand flies to cover his mouth, unable to  but snort at the imagery, He’s not sure if Tony just doesn’t get along with his family or if he’s still stuck in that churlish, ‘too cool to be around my parents’ stage of adolescence. It’s one the idiosyncrasies that would have annoyed Peter before, his ungratefulness of having a family that’s still alive would be just another thing for Peter to hate him for.

Now, he thinks, he’s beginning to parse out when Tony’s being sincere and when he’s  hyperbolic, finally recognising the latter as a mechanism to throw someone off a topic that makes Tony uncomfortable. He sees it - the warning lights and stop signs in barbed coding, wrapped up in dry wit and sarcasm.

Peter is like that sometimes, too.

And what the hell would Peter know about having a normal family.

“Yeah, actually, for once,” he says softly. “My aunt - not May - and uncle have a holiday home up north, so we’re staying with them over the long weekend.”

“S’cool. May’s family?”

Peter shakes his head. “Sort of - they’re not actually related, but May and Margaret have been best friends since college, so.”

“Is Margaret a babe, too?”

Peter throw a chewed-up pencil at him that he catches easily.

“Don’t be gross.”

“I’m not,” he throws the pencil back, overshooting and hitting the shelves behind them. “What are we talking, on a scale of haggard to hottie.”

“I don’t know, man. You seem to have questionable taste in the people you are attracted to.”

Tony grins crookedly, eyes shining with something Peter can’t decipher. “Ain't that the truth.”

“What’s the supposed to --” he stops himself, suddenly recognising what the strange scent was that he’d been picking up. “Wait - dude, are you wearing cologne?”

Tony’s mouth opens and closes a few times before he responds. “No,” he denies, just as the bell rings. “Oh, look at that, time to get to class.”

Saved by the bell.

“So, this is it,” Tony nods, shutting the lid of his laptop as the bell signals the end of their free period. “We’re done. The assignment. That’s the last of it, right?”

Dazedly, he watches Tony stuffing his laptop and notes into his backpack, brow creasing as his mind catches up.

“Uh, yeah. I guess.”

“Send me your notes tonight, I’ll stitch them together with mine and send them back.”

“Okay,” he sluggishly collects his own notes, picking up the bag by his feet. “That’s - that’s good.”

“Well, Parker,” Tony slings his backpack on his shoulder, shuffling backwards, “we didn’t kill each other. I mean, not for a lack of wanting on my behalf.”

‘’Yeah, from Wednesday we’re free. We can go back to normal.”

“Yeah,” Tony’s grin fades. They stare at each other for a long moment that could have been seconds or hours, he doesn’t know, until the second bell rings.

“Hey, um --”

“I’ll send you the notes later,” Tony interrupts, sotto voce. “I gotta get to class. See you around.”

Something in his stomach deflates, sadly and slowly, like a balloon with a pinprick, emptying itself until it’s an uncomfortably hard to digest crumpled mass at the base of his stomach. He pastes on a smile and looks out the window, hoping the feeling doesn’t show in his eyes.

That’s when he notices the leather jacket Tony has left behind, still slung over the back of the chair.

“You left your…” he trails off, turning back, but Tony is already long gone, probably already halfway to his next class. Like a bat out of hell, Peter thinks wryly, picking up the jacket, the leather smooth like butter under his touch, still warm around the collar where Tony’s had been leaning against it.

No good leaving it here to get stolen or be tossed into lost property. He decides to take it with him, folding it gently over his arm. He’ll give it back when he sees him again, maybe after school.

“Nice jacket, Parker,” Flash says approvingly when Peter bumps into him out in the hall.

At first he thinks he’s referring to Peter’s ratty hoodie, and it confounds him for a moment because it’s decidedly not nice, but then he realizes he’s referring to the leather in his arms.

“It’s not mine,” he replies a little too late, because Flash is already down the hall, out of earshot.

Peter sighs. It’s beginning to become a depressing theme.

---

The weird feeling in his chest doesn’t subside all afternoon, and into the evening Peter is starting to think maybe he just has indigestion, like acid reflux or something. Must be the chilli surprise from lunch. Maybe he’d missed his meds.

He sends his portion of the final notes to Tony’s email, turns off his computer and switches on Colbert.

---

It’s not until hours later, well after midnight and the infomercials are playing, only then does his phone buzz against his thigh with a response.

Figures that Tony would be a night owl like him.

> soz was distracted > youtube spiral

Peter shifts downwards on the bed, holding the phone over his face. < s’ok  < what were you watching  > say yes to the dress  < lmao really > lol no > anyway, looks good. ur notes > will print off for u to sign tomorrow < is that a compliment or an admission u were wrong about me 

> neither. One subject does not a genius make  > unlike me, an actual genius

In your dreams, dipshit, he wants to type, but doesn’t, not really keen to provoke a muddy discussion on who is the smartest (it’s definitely Peter).

< u left ur jacket in the library btw, I have it, he texts instead, his pulse jumping when Tony replies with crying emoji’s.

Tony sends him a snap, unexpectedly, a sad face that makes Peter snort. His face seems distressed, the caption reads, thought i lost it for good.

Shifting down further on the bed, he’s feeling suddenly and inexplicably courageous, fire burning up from his belly button to his fingers.

Peter takes a silly photo of himself and sends it back. > didn’t want it to get stolen < aw u care

“I do not,” he whispers to himself.  > i do not. come collect it after school tomorrow or im throwing it out. < u wouldn’t do that to me > there’s a lot of things i would do 2 u  > ....  > um  > lol 

 Peter’s face flames at the implication. He reads over what he just so carelessly typed, stomach positively knotted with embarrassment. Oh god, that is not what he meant. His fingers fly over the screen at record speed as he types out a response. < NOT LIKE THAT < I MEANT IT IN A THREATENING WAY < I’M LITERALLY GAGGING > yikes > ur dirty talk needs work < no it DOESN’T bc we’re not sexting > sure jan > damn. didn’t kno u had it in u bubs < i don’t have it in me > not yet > ;)

Despite the deep blush still heating his face and his heart galloping in his chest, a laugh breaks out of him. The phone in his hand vibrates again. > jk jk, not ever > need to bleach my brain now 

Slowly gliding back to earth he types out a response. < ikr me too < ugh.

He puts his phone down on the bed, looking up at the water-stained ceiling, amusement slowly fading. His pulse though, that doesn’t return to normal.

How could it when his mind suddenly runs away from him, evoking short-lived, but nonetheless strikingly vivid images of intertwined legs, planes of pale skin, and lush lips. How can the heat in his stomach escape when his thoughts conjure phantom sensations of a soft mouth sucking on his neck, the punishing grip of hands on his hips and the warmth and weight of another body on top of his own.

A forehead leaning against his, brown eyes that knocked his pulse off kilter.

The taste of nicotine.

Stop it.

That is dangerous territory right there. And a line he doesn’t want to cross.

Shaking his head, Peter swings his legs over the side of the bed and sits up, looking anywhere for a distraction; his window, the posters on his wall, his figurines on his shelves, anything to douse the low-burning fire in his gut.

Standing, he heads to the bathroom to get ready for bed, banging their crappy old heater with his fist to get it working again.

He takes a very cold shower.

----

It’s not that Peter doesn’t enjoy sex.

Not that he’s had it.

But he enjoys jerking off, at least. Like a regular amount, whatever that is for a teenage boy. He likes kissing. Likes thinking about one day being in a real relationship and exploring someone's body and he likes exploring what turns him on and what he doesn’t.

It’s just that he doesn’t let himself think of anyone he knows personally that way, no matter how conventionally attractive they are - not Thor, and especially not him.

Typically, his fantasies are people with vague features, sometimes with bodies like those he has seen in porn, all shapes and sizes. And that’s safe for him.

He doesn’t want to have to look anyone he knows in the eye and wonder what their lips would feel like pressed against his own. If they’re any good at kissing. If they’re the type to take control or cede it.

He does wonder, sometimes though. No matter how much he denies what or who he wants.

Because it doesn’t matter if it’s a person or a thing. Want is never superficial in his experience, it doesn’t feel good most of the time. It’s deep and sometimes dark, it sinks itself into him with its hooks and it tugs, and keeps tugging. It yields to craving and yearning.

Back in his bedroom, his eyes land on his wall-mounted mirror. It’s small. Like the Mona Lisa. Small enough that he doesn’t have to see his whole reflection if he doesn’t want to.

He doesn’t want to crave and yearn for anybody, because he knows it will always be one sided. He’s well aware that he isn’t exactly centrefold material.

Who is gonna look at his weird ears or thin lips, and think, shit, that’s the guy of my dreams. Not with his big glasses or the way his hair twists itself into frizzy, unruly curls once the gel wears off and he starts looking like an unkempt labradoodle.

Who would want to wake up next to him? No one.

So it’s better not to risk imagining anyone real. It’s only in his head that anyone could ever want him back.

His eyes go from the mirror to the jacket folded and placed on his desk. It was intended to be plain sight so he remembers to bring it in - out of sight, out of mind, is what Ben would say. He can still smell the cologne Tony denied wearing earlier.

Once he’s in bed, he turns to face the wall.

Out of sight, out of mind.

---

Maybe Tony subscribes to that mantra as well.

Peter forgets to bring the jacket in all week and Tony doesn’t ask.

---

Danvers wants him fit and ready to be harpooned into the mud by next week; that’s why she looks the other way when Thor and Peter take their informal training in the boundaries of the field, stretching out on the grass as the JV team runs their usual morning drills - drills Peter would have been a part of before his stupid injury and his stupid wrist-brace.

This school is stupid too. Now he has to pay to see a doctor so he can get medically cleared for a sport he doesn’t really care that much about.

Like he didn’t have enough medical bills to deal with.

In any case, he’s not really in a position to complain, because he has the opportunity now to run through his warm-up with Thor, who is taking his direction to spread his legs into a butterfly position so beautifully, even as his knees raise from the ground to make a v-shape, whereas Peter’s lie flat on the grass.

If the last few days had been different, he might have blushed and used the situation at hand as an opening to place his hands on Thor’s knees and applied pressure. But now he just smiles encouragingly and reminds himself that he has no chance - no place - and his hands do not belong anywhere but his own body.

And surprisingly enough, he’s okay about it all.

Thor was a good guy. Peter will never say no to having more friends.

It’s a dreadful, bitter morning. Icy cold, wind biting into his shirt, the grass below them is damp. He has to keep rubbing his hands together so he can restore feeling in his fingers.

To make things worse, Tony is back on the bleachers. White v-neck, jeans and dark sunglasses. Sprawled out over a set of steps, legs askew, arms behind his head, unmoving as if he were napping or sunbathing, appearing like a cocky main out of an eighties movie.

Or a king surveying his kingdom.

Rhodes and Potts slouch on either side of him, swapping phones over his idle figure, taking pictures and laughing amongst themselves.

“It burns,” Thor says lightly, hands on his thighs in an attempt to aim his knees to touch the ground.

“Yeah,” Peter agrees, despite the ease in which he can lean in. “It just takes practice, dude. Twenty minutes a day, warm up and don’t over-do it. You’ll be limber in no time.”

“You can do this better than I can,” Thor argues, accent thick as he tries to lie flat like Peter.

“And you can lift a hundred pounds better than I can,” he tries to rebut, even as they switch positions, hip flexors aching with old injuries.

While the stretches are like second nature, he doesn’t miss the pressure of training for competition. The eagerness to get into a flat butterfly or oversplit. There was no argument that he spent nights on crunches back then, and he was somewhat toned - but he was shit at weight training. He hated lifting. Reps were more boring, more tedious and difficult and the diet required to give them any value was frankly not worth giving up a great hotdog or a loaded sub from Delmars. He wouldn’t go back to it now.

None of that old heat is there when he inspects Thor’s form. That quick simmer, the call to be closer. That terrible thing, want. All but gone. awe is still there, as he suspects it always would be with someone as outstanding as Thor, but the butterflies have very much flown away.

As he suspected would be the case. He has someone and they’re happy. With the cat out of the bag Thor had shown Peter pictures of his boyfriend all morning. He’d gotten a puppy, apparently, which just tickled Thor. He was so happy it was almost sickening.

When is it gonna be him that sickens someone with photo’s of his partner?

“Hey, Parker,” Tony yells from the stands, “you suck!”

Looking over, the idiot is raised on his elbows and grinning, like he’s proud of himself for a spectacularly unoriginal insult.

Rolling his eyes, Peter gives him the finger and he gets one in return.

His stomach twists and he has to duck his head to conceal his smile.

“Your husband is somewhat rude,” Thor says, following Peter’s example and switching from a pike to a lunge.

Peter looks back over to the stands. A cigarette now dangles between Tony’s full lips, sunglasses slid to the tip of his nose.

That’s how Peter knows he’s looking at him too.

Even from afar his eyes are round and mirthful, framed with ridiculously long lashes like a cartoon mouse, far too outlandish for any real person to have.

“He’s the absolute worst,” Peter bites his bottom lip, quickly averting his gaze. “It was an arranged marriage, to be fair.”

---

Wednesday comes and goes.

Their assignment gets handed in, Peter signs it off to say he did his fair portion of the work and Miss Ahn beams at the both of them when she is handed the thick binder, looking all too pleased with herself.

They have a presentation of their work next week, after Thanksgiving, each pair expected to give five minutes of their life pretending that they’re passionate about schoolwork in front of their fellow students who don’t care.

After that they are completely unburdened. No study sessions, no car rides, and no fries dipped in milkshakes.

They’re embarrassingly hailed as a prime example of people working through their differences, as if they had come together and were now friends or something.

From the front row Tony sneaks a furtive glance at Peter when she applauds them to the class.

“See, kids,” she says, “it wasn’t so bad working together, was it?”

Their eyes meet briefly.

“Zero out of ten, would not do again,” Tony declares, brash and loud, kicking his combat boots onto his desk in a leisurely display.. “That guy is the human equivalent of watching paint dry. Awful.”

“Oh, come on,” she chides. “Be nice.”

Not one to be outdone, Peter lets his horse out of the gate too.

“Singular worst experience of my life. I once had a root canal without anaesthetic and it was less painful than working with him.”

“Alright, boys, that’s enough out of you,” Miss Ahn sighs deeply, walking to the front of the room. “Mr Lang, how did you find the assignment?”

“Very informative…”

From the front row Tony turns in his seat and winks at him.

----

“Thanksgiving plans?” Natasha asks, leaning beside his locker, smothering a smile as he struggles to get his locker open for the nth time that day with one functional hand.

“Visiting my Aunt and Uncle,” he says, finally prying the damn thing open. “They’ve got a place up at Otisco Lake, so. Probably watching old movies and swimming all weekend.”

“Oof,” his friend winces. “That’s a trip. Think the May-Mobile will make the distance?”

The May-Mobile of course to the ancient, ‘89 Volvo 240 that May has been driving ever since Peter was born. She adores it and refuses to trade in, despite the fact that it rarely gets driven, practically haemorrhages gas, and has cost more in repairs in the last five years than the actual value of the car. But May really loves it. It's sentimental. She says it was the car Ben and her picked out together.

“It better make it,” he dumps his books in, closing the locker. “I don’t want to spend the weekend waiting for AAA in the middle of nowhere. What’s your plans?”

She shrugs, walking with him down the hall.

“Probably go and annoy Yelena. Was supposed to spend it with Bucky and his mom, but that ain't happening.”

He bumps her shoulder sympathetically. “Do you think you two will get back together?”

“Probably. But he’s got a shitload of grovelling to do first.”

“Don’t maim him, please. We need him on the team.”

“No promises.”

“Speak of the devil,” Peter adjusts his glasses, spotting Bucky at the base of the stairs talking to somebody. He gets startled, heart jumping when Natasha grabs him by the waist, pushing him towards the wall and inching them closer to the stairs.

“What are you --”

“ -- Shh, I want to listen. Who is he talking to?”

Craning his head, he finds himself in for another surprise when he sees that the other person he’s talking to is --

“He’s… he’s talking to Stark - what...?”

She shushes him again and Peter listens, curious now too.

“... what do you want, Barnes?” Tony visibly grimaces, taking a cigarette from his pocket and tucking it behind his ear. “Make it quick. I got places to be and your noxious stench gives me headaches.”

An announcement goes off over the loudspeaker over their head, calling for Brendon Bennett, a dick of a senior, to move his car from where he has blocked a teacher from leaving. It would be funny at any other time, but as it goes, he misses a chunk of their conversation.

“...Rogers isn’t the boss of me.”

“Yes, he is, and I’m not getting suspended again because you’re a pussy and he has roid-rage.”

“I just need an ETA. C’mon, pal, I really need this.”

“I’m not your pal and I don’t give a flying fuck what you need.”

Ever the easy going guy, Bucky puts his hands up placatingly as a group of students file down the stairs, causing enough noise that Peter misses whatever is said next. As he strains to hear he tries to draw the line between the dots, but comes up short on exactly how these two are connected.

“That fucker,” Natasha mutters near his ear.

By the time the students clear, Tony’s descended the stairs and begun to walk away

“I have better things to do than to sit around and wait for you,” Bucky calls out, giving him the finger.”

“And yet you will.”

Not in any possible lifetime was Peter going to address that he was weirdly relieved that Tony didn’t flip him off in return, some part of him petulantly thinking that’s our thing, but that’s wrong - Peter and Tony are not friends and they do not have things, even when they do, it’s not like a thing thing.

Nat grips his hand and pulls him along when Bucky leaves as well, swiftly walking away to avoid being caught. His backpack jostles at the speed and he realizes he’s still clutching Tony's jacket from where he had retrieved it from his locker.

“What was that about?” He asks, struggling to keep up with his friend's furious pace as he’s led down the hall. “Tash?”

She drops his hand once they are outside, her disapproval near palpable, voice laden with fire and fury.

“That’s Bucky being a world class idiot, he’s gonna get himself expelled, I swear.”

Peter stops on the spot.

“Expelled?”

Something dark curls unpleasantly in his gut, heavy and not leaving.

“They have a thing,” she explains hotly, mouth turning down. “Bucky and Stark.”

“What?” Peter breathes, uncomfortably thinking back to the party and the way Bucky overtly complimented Tony’s body. “Like a.... like a sex thing? Did he cheat on you?”

“What? No.”

“Then what?”

Red strands whipping in the wind, his friend looks around to see if there is anyone nearby before leaning in to speak low. He leans in too, unabashedly curious.

“Do you remember when Bucky was having issues with his parents when school started?”

He nods, thinking back to the times Bucky slept over in the late days of summer and early weeks of the school year, once or twice a week to get away from the shouting in his own home.

Natasha continues.

“Don’t tell him I told you this, but he got really depressed and fell behind with his work and everything he was handing in was terrible. Danvers pulled him up and said if he didn’t get his grades up, he’d be risking his spot on the team. So Bucky paid Stark to write up a few assignments for him, apparently he was doing it for a few kids, like it was a thing.”

...Okay.

That was not good, and definitely disappointing, but -

“Rogers found out. He gave Bucky a warning, but with Stark he threatened to go to Fury.”

Peter thinks back to the fight between their captain and Stark and their fight not long ago. “That’s why they…”

“I’m told Stark snapped, but I don’t know. I found out about the whole paper thing after that and me and Buck fought about it. I just got so mad - he’s - he’s not stupid, you know?”

“I know.”

She exhales heavily through her nose. “He’s going to get himself kicked out of school and I’m so -- I could kill him. We’re supposed to graduate together and get away from our families and go to college, and then he does this.”

“I’m sorry, Tash, I didn’t know,” he hugs her, her body going stiff before relaxing in his hold. “That’s shitty. For both of you.”

“I’m sorry for thinking you were in on the loop.”

He smiles, self-deprecating.

“Nope, I’m as clueless as ever.”

“No, you’re just too good for that,” she shakes her head. “Look, I gotta go and blow off some steam. Please don’t tell anybody about all this.”

“I won't, I swear - but text me later, alright? Let me know you’re okay.”

She ruffles his hair before stepping back.

“You’re a bleeding heart, PP. Keep an eye on that, will you?”

Hearing a squeal of tyres, he whips his head around to the parking lot, the source of the noise. The Firebird squeals out of the lot and onto the road, the sound as angry, the glimpse Peter gets of Tony’s face, even angrier.

He turns back to Nat, but she’s already walked away. Which means she isn’t there to hear him mutter to himself.

“What are you getting into, Tony?”

----

His thumbs hover over his phone that night, as he writes i saw u with barnes today.

He quickly deletes that, not wanting Tony to think that he was following him or spying on him - or worse, thinking that Peter actually cares about what he does. He doesn’t. They’re not friends.

A dread settles in the spaces between his ribs, like thread trying to squeeze them together too tight, his lungs feeling compressed. Maybe it’s his asthma, or allergies.

It’s not and he knows it. He’s disappointed.

He rubs at his chest on his way home thinking about the scene they just saw and about what Natasha said. How is it that so many people in his orbit had this entire entanglement going on without Peter having any whiff of it? It really makes him wonder if they were they good at hiding it or was he just really fucking stupid. Stupid enough to think Bucky was doing okay, that Rogers wasn’t as sanctimonious as he appeared to be, and that Tony was --

Nevermind.

It’s none of his business and it’s not his place.

He knows better than to ask. It’s not as if he can forget all his own secrets that he clutches tightly to his chest, so tight it feels like he constantly walks through life with his fists clenched.

That and, like May, the real truth is that he can’t claim any entitlement to their trust. He eavesdropped in more ways than one these last two weeks. He tries to brush off that dry, sobering thought; it’s none of his business anyway and he has enough on his plate without getting involved.

When are you going to stop being such a goddamned martyr.

So then he thinks about the sheer fury on Tony’s face, how his - how he used to look at Peter the same way, and how Peter used to think that angry and bitter was Tony's default mood. That was that. The status quo.

Well, that wasn’t entirely fair, was it. It was easier to dislike Tony when he was distant enough that Peter could pigeon-hole him into a stereotype.

Because Tony got into fights, sure, countless and petty, but he was the guy who pet puppies and snuck them food under the table. Not the guy who kicked them.

He looked like the puppy that was kicked, though.

Not angry.

Wounded.

And that’s what confuses Peter. Turns out he doesn’t really know anything about his friends.

Or Tony, it would seem.

----

May closes the drivers-side door and throws a packet of snacks into Peter’s face.

“Pretzels.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” he adjusts his glasses where they'd been knocked askew.

“Sorry, I thought your reflexes were better,” she says, and by way of apology, lobs a packet of sour gummies more gracefully on his lap. “Your favorite.”

“Apology accepted.”

From a plastic bag she fishes out two cokes and places them in the centre console, a bag of red licorice and crackers follow, also making their way onto his lap. She always buys too much food.

Then they’re turning back onto the highway that leads them out of where they paused at Monticello, the radio jacked up loud enough to be heard over the tiny droplets of raindrops sporadically hitting the windshield.

They’ve left early enough that it’s still dark.

Fog still hangs low on the roadside, intangible pale wisps that seem to disintegrate upon crossing, the road dotted with other travellers, but not too crowded, enough so they can easily cruise the speed limit and sometimes over. The Bangles play on a cassette tape and, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel, May looks so carefree, driving her sentimental car with the noisy engine, singing along to the same cassettes she’s had since she was his age.

Peter can’t bring himself to say what he wants to. About the letters. One in particular. He knows something isn't right but who is he to break the peace?

So, he doesn’t and they keep driving.

The fog lifts and the tunes continue, both of them singing familiar tunes from ABBA to George Michael and Peter let’s go of what he can’t control and loses himself in the buoyancy of nostalgia - neither of them can carry a tune for shit and it’s funny, and when he rolls his window down he sticks his hand out to feel the frigid air, it’s the most free he’s felt in a long time.

Football and his after-school duties and everything else just drifts away with the wind, at least for this moment.

It was like when he was a kid. The route itself is mostly dark and dull, and this time without Ben, but their usual car games of ‘dollar every time you spot a windmill’ and ‘how many minutes until the next town’ are fun and easily pass the time. This will be another memory that he will gloss over with fondness, how even the boring roads will seem like rapture.

When the sky starts to turn from black to grey they stop for early breakfast at a diner just slightly off their trail in Windsor, both of them famished despite the hoard of snacks and in dire need of coffee.

The car is beginning to emit pale plumes of smoke from under the hood as they arrive at Davis Grove, Otisco Lake in the early morning. The sun rises low over the horizon, a slow ascent that turns the sky grey and brushes wriggling streaks of color over the lake.

The house is exactly as Peter remembers it.

Panels painted slate blue, brown-tiled roof. Two-storeys with a wrap-around porch and a private dock only a short distance away from the entrance. A swinging chair on the lawn that comfortably fits three and a half people.

It looks exactly as it did when Peter first came here as a kid, plucked straight out of his memories in perfect form, like it was set in a liminal space that time refused to touch. A piece comes back to his being at this moment, something that he didn’t know was missing.

Aunt Margaret is already standing at the door when the pull up. She doesn’t look a day older than when Peter last saw her years ago.

“Oh, look at you,” she coos, wrapping Peter up in a tight hug, curls brushing his cheek, “my darling little Petey-pie.”

“Hey, Aunt Margaret,” he returns the hug.

“You’re so tall now, let me look at you,” she holds him at arm's length, warm eyes roving over his form. “Oh my goodness, haven’t you grown a handsome young man? Last time we met you only came up to my shoulders and had braces.” She turns her attention to May. “Isn’t he handsome?”

His aunt nods, smiling at them, both women gravitating into a tight embrace. “It’s good to see you, Peggy. Thanks for having us.”

“Our pleasure. You look even more beautiful than the last time.”

“Oh, stop,” May releases her, wiping at her eyes. “Look who’s talking.”

She tilts her head to the porch and takes May’s duffle from where she has dropped it to the ground. “Come on you two, inside. We’ve got the fire going and scrambled eggs on the table.”

Inside it smells like the best parts of his childhood. A burning fire and butterscotch and lingering musky-but-floral scent from the bowl of potpourri high on the mantel. Even the sounds are the same, the same coo of early birds in the burgeoning daylight, someone humming by the stove.

Margaret leads them into the living room, where her husband meets them halfway from the kitchen, oven mitts still on his hands when he spreads his arms wide to welcome them.

“My goodness,” he beams, “look what the cat dragged in.”

He wears a cravat at the same time he wears an apron, looking every bit the formal yet whimsical man Peter remembers him to be and a crushing wave of nostalgia comes over him so suddenly he can’t help but rush forward and embrace him.

“Welcome, Peter. It’s so good to have you here.”

“Thanks for having us, Uncle Ed.”

“What have you taught him,” he points his query to May as he releases Peter to hug her. “You know you can call me Jarvis.”

---

Margaret ‘Peggy’ Carter and Edwin Jarvis had been young twenty-somethings when they first met. Both were born in England before moving to the US, but it wasn’t until they met at Margaret’s first college that their paths crossed. They worked in different departments, Peter thinks Ed was an engineer or something and Margaret an analyst, but the universe pulled them together eventually.

Margaret asked Ed out first and then a year later, May was the maid-of-honor at their wedding and Ben was reportedly a teary guest in the squeaky church pews.

And the rest, as they say, was history.

A photo of that day sits framed upon the mantle. May and Margaret have their arms around each other, Uncle Ben and Ed standing awkwardly at the sides of the frame, holding up flutes of champagne.

They look so young. Happy.

Peter observes the photo, smiling. He would have been a baby back then. Before his parents and Ben had -- well.

His mind does these weird calculations sometimes. Like, the May in this photo is only nine or so years older than how old he is now, and this moment, suspended in time, makes them closer than they have ever been, even though in real life they are over twenty years apart.

Looking at this picture, it makes him wonder how many people he knows now will live full lives and die of old age. How many people his age will stay forever young, and who will be in the future looking back at their time now, wistfully staring at pictures of those who only exist suspended in that time.

It’s funny, being a teenager. His peers are too young to die so they assume they won't. Even in their twenties and thirties or forties, death seems like an elusive thing that doesn’t apply to anybody until it does. It’s for the decrepit, the sick.

But in Peter’s case death comes like poorly aimed darts, always landing badly and scoring low. In his pockets, his hands turn in fists. He hopes the three people left alive in this picture get to grow old.

He smells her perfume before he sees her. Margaret approaches, bumping their hips together.

“This was a nice day,” she says softly, wistful. “I wish we’d kept more contact over these last few years.”

“Me too,” he smiles sadly, her expression reflecting his. With a hand on his back she leads him to the couch.

“Come on, munchkin, come sit. Tell me how you have been.”

---

“We weren’t planning on the big dinner,” Uncle Ed says as he finishes peeling a potato, handing it to Peter once he’s done. “But we’re so glad you two joined us. Neither of us have a lot of family here, you know.”

“Us neither,” Peter runs the peeled potato under running water to rid it of dirty residue before chopping it into quarters. “It’s really nice to see you again, it’s been way too long.”

“You really have grown into such a nice young man,” the man smiles. “Ben would be proud. Your parent’s, too.”

“Thank you.”

They haven’t got together like this since Ben died a couple years back. It wasn’t really anyone’s fault. Shit happened and it got harder to try. May got busier with looking after Peter full time and working more - and Uncle Ed quit his job and opened up a garage and Margaret lost a baby - all at the same time.

It was a lot for everyone. Even college best friends moved apart when fate put up walls at every turn.

It seems everyone in his circle is just does their best to survive. Or maybe that’s just what growing up is.

The remainder of their morning is spent eyeing the oven and skedaddling while Margaret prepares her pecan pie, ejecting them out of the kitchen with a forceful shoo.

“May says you’re playing football,” Ed says, leading him out to the lounge, passing him a can of soda. “How’d that happen? Last I checked you were doing splits over a pommel horse.”

Peter shrugs, tapping his can with his fingernails, idly paying attention to the football on the old TV. “Needed an extra-curricular, there was an opening and for some reason they accepted me.”

“You were so good at gymnastics,” Margaret comments from the kitchen, whisking away at her bowl. “I’m sure you’re exemplary in anything you do. They’re lucky to have you.”

“Yeah,” Peter says, sculling back the rest of his drink, bubbles burning down his throat. “Looks good on college applications in any case.”

“This kid,” May points to him with her beer bottle. “He does it all, I don’t even know how. He’s brilliant.”

I could do more, he thinks. He wonders again in that moment what it is that makes him so deficient that May couldn’t rely on him to accept the truth about their situation, that maybe he was just too naive. But he’s not. He’d drop his after-school activities and get a job in a hot second if he thought it would help. And for just a split-second he’s mad about that, about being kept in the dark.

But then he sees the strain around her eyes, how the bottle in her hands trembles ever so slightly, how much she makes the hard world soft around them. And it’s easy for him to let that feeling go.

“You’re still freelancing?” Peter asks Margaret, momentarily distracted when Ed’s phone lights up with a call.

“Excuse me, terribly sorry,” he says suddenly, picking up the phone and answering it, rising to his feet to converse in the adjacent room.

“Yes,” Margaret says, eyes lingering over where her husband has gone, his voice carrying over the walls in worried, muffled tones. “Well, consulting. I can work from home, which makes it easier to take care of all my non-existent children,” she gestures to the empty room around them.

“You could go work with Jarvis,” May retrieves a new bottle, popping the cap. “Look after the books, help him replace tyres.”

“Tempting,” Margaret says dully, rolling her eyes. “Can’t understand why I haven’t done that yet.”

Jarvis re-enters minutes later, hands held out apologetically; whispering to Margaret first before he addresses the room.

“Um, we have another guest coming up for dinner, if that’s alright,” he winces at their blank faces. “He works for me. Has a difficult family arrangement and needs a bit of respite. You know how it gets over the holidays.”

Peter meets May’s eyes and shrugs. Anyone working under the business and is vouched for by his surrogate uncle is good by him.

“The more the merrier,” May raises her bottle.

After that, the kitchen needs his hands again.

---

The afternoon is spent preparing the sides, checking in on the truly gargantuan turkey and indulging their cat with nibbles and head scratches. May and Margaret spend the time drinking beer and cider, reminiscing their college years. It’s nice to hear the house full of laughter, given how somber the mood was when they were last all together.

“When did you get a cat?” Peter directs his question to Jarvis, accepting a peeler from him to attack the carrots.

The cat in question is completely black and delightfully plump, not overly so, but enough to indicate it’s decently fed but probably also a little lazy. Or maybe he just thinks that now that it lies tall on the peak on its scratching post, tail flicking idly while it watches them work tirelessly in the kitchen from above.

“Oh, about a year ago. Gives Peggy some company while I'm in the garage. She’s a sweetheart, this one.”

“What’s her name?”

“Friday the Thirteenth. Friday for short.”

“That’s, um, unique.”

“Was the day we adopted her,” Jarvis reaches up to scratch her. “And she’s a black cat, so, you know; spooky.”

Peter tilts his head to the side, considering it. “I like it.”

“Not bad, huh.”

“Yep. It’s a better name than Molly,” he mutters, shaking a slimy carrot shaving off his fingers.

Jarvis pauses. “As in Ringwald?”

Peter sighs and continues peeling.

----

“Did I ever tell you about the time May came to class in a bathing suit?”

“I don’t think they need to hear that --”

“So we have this exam,” Peggy says, ignoring May, “Super important. Fifty percent of our overall grade. She comes in late, dripping wet, the biggest hickey on her neck I have ever seen --”

“Peggy.”

“-- Only thing saving her modesty was Ben’s shirt over her shoulders. I had to lend her a pen so she could sit the exam.”

“Did you pass though,” Peter asks curiously, shovelling a large lump of mashed potato into his mouth.

“Top grades,” she winks at him.

“She sat there for two hours, dripping water onto the ground and got flying colors. Meanwhile I’m the idiot who studied for weeks and got marked down twenty points for --”

The end of her sentence gets cut off by the sound of a car approaching the property, headlights flashing through the windows.

Then, a knock at the door.

“Ah, that must be…” Ed trails off, wiping his hand on a napkin before standing. “Excuse me.”

He goes to answer the front door, Margaret continues her story albeit much more quietly until the voices of Ed and their guest filter through, becoming progressively louder.

“Sorry to intrude, I know it’s the holidays --”

Wait. That voice is familiar.

“Nonsense,” Ed interrupts, “you know you’re welcome anytime. You’re practically family, kid. Come in, we’re eating now, you’re just in time.”

Peter’s fork clangs loudly on his plate when he sees their visitor, unable to keep his grip on the utensil as his limbs start to tingle. He forgets how to breathe for a second, entire body going hot.

Ed’s arm is around Tony Stark and they’re approaching through the living room, heading right for them. There’s a fresh cut on his lip and an ugly, wreath of bruising around his jaw and neck, deeply purple, speckled spots of burst capillaries visible from even where he’s sitting.

The worst part isn’t the intrusion. It’s how Tony looks unlike himself; he looks small and skittish, gaze flicking nervously around the room, arms curled around his waist. Something in his chest starts to feel the closer he gets, weird, hot and unwieldy, burning, like a hot poker has been drawn across his sternum.

“You’re the best, Jar...vis,” Tony trails off when he spots the Parkers, eyes zeroing in on Peter.

“Um,” Peter says, sharing a surprised look with May, not knowing what else to say.

But then suddenly Tony is shaking his head, shrugging out of Ed’s embrace and backing up, the skittish look gone and replaced with anger.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. No fucking way.”

Then he turns, and leaves.

----

*

*

----

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[honestsycrets]

What She Really Wants X: What Really Matters

❛ pairing | hvitserk x reader

❛ type | multi

❛ summary | hvitserk has a way of getting what he wants. magnus is sick of being one-upped.

❛  tags | verbal arguments, wedding oriented, referenced underage sex, referenced sexual interaction, underage relationships, original characters.

❛ sy’s notes | i've actually had this fic done for some months and totally forgot about it until i was in my drive. thank you @chibisgotovalhalla​ for making me feel good enough to post this. It’s more a connecting chapter.

What Magnus hates about Hvitserk (aside from everything) is how whatever he said, went with you. 

The world could crumble, pebbles could shake boulders on your house, and you would still have Hvitserk on your mind. Because he was your first-- and no one could beat a first. No matter how he worked or raged for a new beginning or for better for Mads. It was still Hvitserk at the end of the day. Mads’s eyes had almost popped out of his skull when Magnus joined the clustered group of friends and parents. It hadn’t gone unnoticed. 

“What did I miss?” he asks because he knows Mads by the expression slapped over his face. That boy has been like his son. He raised him. Loved him. 

“Nothing,” Mads quips quickly, snapping his head back around to the field. His coach howls something long and loud. Mads jabs his finger in that direction. “The game is about to start. C’mon Soren.” 

Despite the fact that Magnus knew there was a certain something very wrong, he didn’t speak as you returned to a very familiar set of bleachers alongside Mad’s new girlfriend. She was pretty. There was a soft and innocent glitter behind those big brown eyes that reminds him of a simpler time in yours. He makes a note to ask Mads after the game all about her when Hvitserk stops on the uppermost stair, guiding you in after Alaia. 

It’s not until they sit, and your hand is laced in Hvitserk’s, does he notice the gems glistening on your finger. 

“What’s that?” he asks, leaning over Alaia’s lap. The girl squints at the rings too, watching it glisten, and smiles when she realizes that she’s forgotten to say something. She speak words that make his stomach drop. As if someone had hauled him off to sea, strapped that very same boulder shook loose by his crumbling world, and threw him out into the deep sea. He was drowning and couldn’t find a way out.

“Oh my god! Congratulations on your engagement, mama,” she beams. “Can I see the ring?” 

Magnus sputters. He’s caught between your jovial smile and Hvitserk’s smug smirk as his eyes burned into the glittering gem. Hvitserk’s hand leaves yours, taking a drink of the metal tumbler that he brought with him as if that would draw attention away from what he’s done this time. 

“There’s two?” Alaia asks.”Papa you didn’t. You’ve gone so far!”

Hviserk chuckles and swashing alcohol between his cheeks before swallowing the spicy liquid. 

“We were engaged in high school. Hvitserk thought I should wear both.” 

“Gonna put that money to use,” Hvitserk mutters, the faint scent of yeasty alcohol on his breath kissing your cheeks. He looks out to the field and catches Mads sheepishly waving. He waves back. “Been waitin’ to get married to my old lady for years.” 

“It’s going to be so great,” she claps her hands together. “I’m happy for you.”

The field cheers through the end of the national anthem. Two dozen players jog onto the grassy stage, flicking the ball between their feet. Go Mads, go! Alaia squeals until her voice becomes high pitched, grating, and odd. She’s the kind of girl that should be on a cheerleading team, but belongs on the football team. She’s outgoing, witty, and you find you like her. 

For all that screaming, Mads’s team loses 2 to 1. Alaia beats you off the bleachers and zooms down the stairs to find your son. You’re stuck with the impending explosion that has been boiling to ahead all evening. It finally overflows as people filter out of the bleachers like a herd of stampeding cattle. Their loud chatter blocks out the bulk of conversation. 

“You really thought that was a good idea.” Magnus curls his fingers under the cold metal of the bleacher seat. “He hasn’t been back a year and you’re already going to marry him.” 

“What is with you? It is her choice,” Hvitserk interjects. 

“I wasn’t talking to you.” 

“Fuck off, rat faced motherfucker.” Hvitserk snaps. “You don’t know when to quit bitchin’.”

It’s spiraling. You know the men well enough to know when Magnus and Hvitserk are headed for trouble. Hvitserk loves a good fight. He lurches up in his seat, probably ready to chuck him down a few flights of bleacher stairs. You grasp Hvitserk’s hand, settling it on your thigh for to restrain him from doing something that you knew he’d regret. Not for his sake, but Mads. Rather than answer Magnus, you stand up and wipe your skirt down. 

“Mads is waiting. C’mon baby.”

You leave him feeling unheard. In the seventeen years that Mads had been alive, he’d not once felt this way. He had been the father figure here. The one who took the kid out to these father events that you lost with the death of your father and the disappearance of your family from Hvitserk’s clutches.

Then he came back. He gave Magnus that same, age-old shit-eating grin, and disappeared behind you. It wouldn’t have burned so much if he wasn’t at the exact same school of the past. The same one where he got his teeth knocked in-- right here. The bleachers may be different but the area is the same. It’s the same place where everything changed. He sits there long after you’ve disappeared down the steps to meet your son.

“Where’s morbror?” Mads, sweaty and panting, has his hand slung over Alaia’s shoulder.”I thought he was coming for burgers.”

You reach for Hvitserk’s hand and lace his fingers with yours. Hvitserk stands behind you with his hand latched neatly around your waist. He cradles your hip as you come up with the latest of poorly formulated excuses. 

“He has to go to work in the morning, baby.”

Better you lie than Hvitserk. 

 Alaia is way too touchy. 

You recognize it in the way she clings to his arm on one hand and punches him with the other. Whatever the cost was, she had to be touching him. All over him. Not just a little friendly kiss or holding hands, but you know for a damn fact that she strokes his thigh or trails up the taut pale muscles of his flat belly.

“They’re fucking,” you say pointedly. 

Hvitserk throws a look over his shoulder to where they were a few rows down. Alaia slips a salty-sweet strawberry candy between Mads’s lips. Alaia’s other hand is certainly not on her own lap, that’s for sure. 

“Huh?” Hvit says around a half eaten sausage. He takes a swig of his booze, “Ya think?”

You thwack him in the arm and glance at the dark aisle beside you. The movie Mads wanted to watch was old. So much so that the theatre reflected its age. “How is he not fucking her? Hvitserk!”

Hvitserk took a glance down. From what he could tell, Mads was the shy one. He glanced down to what had to be a handsy— because he had plenty of those in his day. 

“Calm down. He ain’t initiating anything.”

“So she’s a predator?” You hiss. 

“C’mon baby, they're the same age.” He says, as if that’s exclusionary, and as if that made any difference in the world. “Ain’t like he’s screamin’ for help.”

There’s a shush— the next few aisles down. 

“Aw, you poutin?” 

No reply. Hvitserk glances toward Mads and Alaia, content with his choice, and slips his hand underneath the lip of your skirt. He considers himself a rather patient man but your worries when all he wanted to do was relax? Na. 

“Hvit stop— We used to be like that. Remember?” Hvitserk cuts you off, rubbing his thumb where he shouldn’t, cutting an outrageous smile. 

“This isn’t about us.”

“Ain’t it?” 

It’s not. The soft tingles of his fingertips, caressing your thighs, runs shivers up your spine. Your hand falls on top of his wrist, holding him firmly where he was. Hvitserk glances down toward his hand, then back up. An easy fix: you loved it when he pressed his lips to your neck. 

“You’re doing it again.” 

Hvitserk’s lips part, broadening his shit eating smile. “Doing what?” 

Oh, he knew what. But he loved being called out for it.

His far isn’t bad at football.

“Fuckin’ what the fuck was that!” 

The ball whizzed into the goal behind him and Mads was left wheezing for breath. Not because he was tired. The old man might only be thirty-six but he sucked at playing against him. Hvitserk plucked up the football between his fingers and spun it over and over between his finger tips. He twisted his head from the goal to the ball in his hands.

“A goal,” Mads gestures. “You know? Or, guess you don’t since you ain’t scored all night.” 

“Shits rigged,” Hvitserk says, dropping the ball and kicking it back to Mads. 

Mads shrugs and suggests, “Should’ve picked something you’re good at. You won’t beat me at this.”

“Tch,” Hvitserk throws his arms behind his head. “I ain’ good at shit.”  

Except maybe selling drugs and chasing prostitutes. All of which his father has made exponentially clear he doesn’t want Mads doing. Mads stops with his sneaker on top of the ball, rolling it up and back, then flicks it between his feet. 

“Have to be good at something. Don’t you have a hobby or something?” 

Hvitserk peels off his white shirt sodden with sweat and uses it to wipe away the moist sweat dribbling past his eyebrow. He gestures his hand to the dark wooden wedding band that was strapped to his finger. The wedding is next week and while he’s not technically married yet, Hvitserk wore it as some sort of unspoken promise.

“My hobby was women. Not allowed to do that shit anymore. Getting married next week, yeah?” 

“Wow, well, uh.” Mads picks up the ball at his feet and searches for words. It’s always nice-- when your own son is amazed at how amazingly shitty of a person you were. Hvitserk chews his cheek, running his thumb along the drawstring at his hips to tighten it up. They walk lazily with one another to start the trek back home. 

“I...” Hvitserk starts. “Liked to paint.”

“Gang signs?” he teases. He imagines his father with a can of spray paint or something-- tagging some poor idiot’s unsuspecting business. 

“Na, women-- like Renoir.” 

“Ren who?” 

“I fuckin’ hope ya ain’t going to France like that,” he tsks his tongue, throwing his hand around Mads’s shoulder, chasing away the thought of the Wolves that were so at the forefront of his mind. “Take a class in French first.” 

“I’m taking Spanish.” 

“Spanish? Wha’s so important about-- oh wait. Fuck,” Hvitserk almost laughs, but it comes with the realization that Mads’s little girlfriend was, in fact, Hispanic. He ruffles Mads’s sweaty hair, shaking loose droplets into the air. “Tha’s my boy.” 

There are moments in which Mads feels like his father’s son.

Today was one of them. 

The date sped up on him faster than it should have.

This time, Hvitserk was insistent: the wedding had to happen as soon as possible. After all, he was thirty-six. He wasn’t going to be a man that was forty and single. No, he wasn’t. Not if he had everything he wanted; a woman and his very own grown-ass son. He had something to prove to that son. That he was serious about his family. 

“What’cha think,” Hvitserk grumbled. His hair, newly cropped short, waved in silky honey waves around the side of his face. His jaw was peppered with a new sort of scruff, worlds apart from his clean-shaven, long-haired past. The suit was slim, crisp, monochrome like you liked it. Better be like you liked it: he wasn’t the type to wear suits for just anyone. His woman? Special exception there.

His son stood back. “Yeah, looks nice.” 

“Yeah?” 

He slipped in front of the mirror and gave himself a once over. He turns the ring on his finger over and over until he has residual finger ring burn. He bites down on his lip, ripping it between his teeth. It wasn’t just saying goodbye to his single man’s life; it was the fact that his remaining brothers were coming. Bjorn, Ivar, and Ubbe. Would Mads like them?

“Where my boots?” 

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t anxious. There’s a powerful thud at the door, then another. Booming laughs fill in the hallway just outside the room. Hvitserk exhales strongly. His large hand lands on Mads’s shoulder with a clasp. 

“Those would be your uncles.”

Mads, the little baby, looks panicked as the door cracks open. Ivar knocks open the door, dressed in a deep maroon and black suit. It’s crisp and formed to his chest. You should at least like it-- given the shit that Ivar has given you this year, he looks good. Why would be expect anything less?

“Man c’mon,” Hvitserk rolls his eyes. “Could’ve waited man. My kid--” 

“Why would I wait?” Ivar hums, hobbling forward. “You’ve been keeping my nephew hostage from me. Come here boy.” 

“With good reason,” Sigurd can’t help but to comment. “You don’t really want to know him. He’s a--” 

“Would you both shut up,” Mads hears another man say. He has ruddy hair and a ruddy beard, with sharp blue eyes. He is almost considerate-- if not for the wolfish look in his eyes, he could almost be considered the most placid of the brothers. Instead, he seems to be someone who is always planning. “You’ll scare him away.” 

Hviserk settles a lily in the pocket to his suit and fiddles with the cuffs of his sleeves. Strange, he thinks, how you pick lilies. They’re a bittersweet flower for him to this day. When he bought you flowers, they were roses. Whatever possessed you to chose lilies, he’s not sure. It couldn’t possibly be-- Thora. No, you couldn’t remember her.

“Far,” Mads looks over and pleads for some guidance in those soft, bright eyes of his. His eyes snap toward Ivar’s dragging feet, then the drunken stamped in from huge Bjorn and comparatively more calculated steps from Ubbe. “Help.” 

“What is there to be afraid of, hm?” 

“Go on, go to Ivar.” Hvitserk swings his hands at his hips. Mads looks up the broad body of the blond man and inches toward the darkest haired brother. Probably not the safest of brothers to be speaking to but he’s heard his name multiple times before. Uncle Ivar was scary. And safe. “They won’t hurt you. They’re my brothers.” 

“You want a drink, boy?!” 

“A dr-- drink?”

Hvitserk wonders why he ever thought he could be a Wolf.

Asta has always been supportive. Too supportive. You knew, somewhere inside, she wasn’t happy about your choice to get married to a man that had gotten her into some trouble. Her whole life could have gone down the tubes thanks to him. 

“Are you sure about this?” she said in her slim baby pink maid-of-honor dress. Your hairdresser affixed a soft baby pink pearl pin into your hair. “You can always wait like we said.” 

“Waiting…” You glanced down toward your dress, smoothing out the dress’s slim bodice, leading out into its flowy a-line tulle skirt. Your loved the crisscrossing pearls that formed the straps over your shoulder and connected front and back-- maybe a little sexy for your hypersexual husband-to-be. Everything had gone perfectly. Your make up-- a natural, gentle shimmery pink. Everything was soft and natural, and pretty-- and you were so damn happy. “I’ve been waiting long enough.” 

“I know.” 

“And I want to do it,” you held the bouquet of fresh pink lilies. “I want him.” 

“That’s too much information,” she teases.

The door creaked open behind you. While subconsciously, you knew that it wasn’t him-- you needed to know. “Magnus isn’t coming, is he?” 

“It’s just me, mor.” 

You exhale forcefully. You knew it would be a stretch to ask Magnus to give you away. After what happened to your father, Magnus had agreed to do so with whoever you chose. For sixteen years you banked on that promise. Only now, when it came down to it, he refused to do so. 

“It’s a silly tradition anyway.” 

Asta begins to protest that she can do it when your son, bless him, intervenes by kneeling down by your knee. His large hands overtook yours. Your hairdresser stepped aside after having affixed the veil to the top of your head. Everything had been going so well. Something… had to go wrong, right? That was the way that days went. They could never be absolutely perfect! 

“I’ll do it. I can give you away.”

“You’d do that?” you ask him, unbelievably. You look between Asta-- and Alaia, who looks angelic in a puffy pink dress beside your son. Mads perches kneels beside you, looking like all the man you ever hoped he could be in every sleepless night that you spent up with him as a baby-- wishing that Hvitserk was there. Knowing that your mother said he could never be. 

“But you thought I should wait.” 

“Yeah but; I love you. That’s what matters, right? That you’re happy?” 

That, more than anything, was enough for you. You press back the insistent prick of heat at the corner of your eyes and nod. As you stand up on clumsy metal heels, your boy is there with his hand encouragingly around your waist. Alaia looks for your bouquet of assorted blush and white flowers: lilies.

For a moment-- just a moment, its you and him. No one else matters in the grand scheme of things. He settles the bouquet of flowers between your fingertips, pulling the sheer veil back over your face. “You look… perfect, mor. He’s missing out.” 

“Yeah, that’s what matters, baby.” 

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[vintagedolan]

mixtape | track seven

| masterlist | faceclaims | playlist |

*contains smut*

When Nicole died, Indiana convinced herself that someone was holding down a fast forward button on her life. Some greater power with a universal remote, carelessly keeping a finger shoved down on the little button with the double arrows, with no regard to the fleeting few days she had left with her most important person.

History seemed to be repeating itself, with the best physical representation being the very quickly evolving tiny homes.

The first thing on Grayson’s agenda when they’d made it back to NYC was to decorate the property for Halloween. It hadn’t seemed like the most sound plan to Indy, considering last time they were out in the field it was just raw building materials, a platform and lots of grass. But when she climbed off the back of the quad, away from Grayson’s warmth and into the chilly air, she was standing in front of a house, or at least the bones of one, with the beginnings of the loft and stairs formed inside. It wasn’t polished yet - in fact, there wasn’t even a front door to hang the spider wreath that he had bought at Home Depot. But there was a house, and it stood as a reminder that time was passing quickly.

Despite how over the top the Dolan’s were about it, Halloween was a blink. Ethan was still in California, spending a few more days with Eden, but they facetimed in their costumes anyways - Indy had been convinced into dressing up at the last minute, which resulted in a witch costume that consisted of black leggings and a black bodysuit, which got covered up by a spare hoodie of Grayson’s early in the evening, brought on by the ever-dropping Jersey temperatures. But they celebrated with Lisa, and with E squared across the miles with a bonfire and too many pieces of candy, and Indy realized at the end of the night that it was the first holiday she’d had with family in years. It filled a vacant room in a back hallway of her heart that she didn’t realize had been abandoned, and as soon as the calendar turned to November, she was determined.

“Thanksgiving. Me, you, Lisa, Ethan, Eden, Cam, Charlie and Devin. Thoughts, opinions?”

Grayson quirked an eyebrow from the other side of the couch, face lit by his laptop screen.

“Vegan thanksgiving?”

She nudged him in the side with her foot, getting the perfect angle from where she was laying to tickle him. “Nah, we’re gonna cook a whole meal that 25% of the participants can’t eat. Sounds like the holiday of dreams.”

He poked her with a toe. “Yeah, that sounds good to me. Might have to find an extra table at Ma’s though.”

“I can plan out a menu, make sure everyone brings something. Charlie can bring plates, for all our sakes.”

“Then Ethan can bring cups, cause god knows he doesn’t know what the fuck to do in a kitchen. And I can do the menu, you’ve got enough on your plate.”

“It’s not that bad this week,” she countered, but before she could say anything else he’d picked up her planner, looking at all the little color coordinated blocks that she’d drawn out. Grayson had never had a planner before, much less an hourly one, and it stressed him out a bit just to see how little time she didn’t have allotted to something. His finger moved over a little block in dark blue, a tiny scribble inside it - time with g :).

“You block out time for us to hang out?”

“I block out time to do just about everything but pee,” she laughed, keeping her eyes on her textbook as he continued to look through her pages.

“You haven’t peed in like… 3 hours. Drink your water.”

She stuck her tongue out but did as he asked, watching the way he found something on the page and frowned, eyebrows creasing across his forehead.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He answered it too quickly, and it was her turn to frown.

“Babe. What is it?”

“It just says, uh, ‘deposit from Kenneth’. Who’s Kenneth?”

Her breathing stopped for a moment. She hadn’t heard that name said aloud in years.

“Oh um. That’s my dad. Kenneth Cross.”

He switched from realization to guilt in an instant, flipping the planner shut. Grayson wasn’t privy to much information about Indiana’s father, but he didn’t need much to know that the relationship wasn’t great.

“Shit, Dee, sorry, I didn’t mean to bring it up.”

She closed her textbook, sitting it aside with a sigh. Sitting up, she crossed her legs on the couch, a bid to get a little closer to him.

“No, it’s okay. We probably should have talked about it by now anyways. What do you want to know?”

“Whatever you want to tell me.” He offered her his hand, knowing she liked to toy with her fingers when she talked, hoping it would help.

“Well. He wasn’t always a shit head. Actually, he used to be a pretty good dad. When Charlie and I were growing up, he was always there. He coached Charlie’s basketball team, then mine. He helped mom with dinner, we all went on vacation together. I mean, I had a good childhood, I really did. But things changed when mom got sick.”

“How long was she sick?”

“Six months. It took her fast, much faster than usual with her stage and her type. I thought my dad would step up, but he didn’t. He shut down. And I get that, it was hard, but we needed him and he just… wasn’t there. Charlie had to take her to appointments because I couldn’t drive yet. He stayed at home and worked, and drank, and then drank some more and called it work. He never talked about mom, never even admitted to himself she was sick I don’t think. So Charlie and I did our best, and we stayed with her as much as we could, especially towards the end. I’d ride the subway out of the city to get to school cause I slept at the hospital most nights. And I guess Charlie and I didn’t realize, but he was working on selling the house while we were doing all that, before she was even fucking gone. So, when she did go, all of a sudden she was gone, and my house was gone, and Charlie was going to school, so it was just me and him.

“We moved into a smaller house. He didn’t talk to me. He was a shell without my mom. And I thought it would get better but it didn’t. So, I taught myself how to be okay without him, and without my mom… without anyone. I think he realized it too, and some part of him felt bad. But he knew he couldn’t fix it. So, the summer before college, he said he’d pay for wherever I wanted to live for school. I couldn’t swing rent on a Jet’s salary, and I wanted to get out of his house, so I agreed. I moved in here freshman year, and we haven’t seen each other since. Haven’t even talked on the phone really. He deposits rent in my account each month, and as soon as I can get enough money to not have him do that, I’m going to tell him to stop. I don’t want him to think I need him, for anything.”

Indy looked up for the first time since her story started, and she sucked in a breath at the sight of Grayson’s watery eyes. He blinked it away and cleared his throat, but the way he opened his arms up told a different story.

“I don’t like hating him. But I don’t know how to forgive him either.”

“C’mere,” he mumbled, waiting for her to readjust and climb on top of him. His arms wrapped around her tightly, like he wanted to press her into him and make her a part of him.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that with your mom like that, I can’t imagine.”

Indy lifted her head and looked at him with sad eyes.

“Yes you can.”

The knot in his throat grew, and he kissed her head when she relaxed against him again. He let the silence settle for a few minutes, tracing a heart against her back and pressing his lips into her hair over and over.

“I had my mom though. She helped us through the entire thing. And I had Ethan, and Cam. And I know you had Charlie, but thinking about you having to do that without a parent.” He shook his head. “I hate it. Not to mention the rest of the bullshit he’s probably put you through that you’re too nice to tell me about.”

It was her turn to get teary.  

“Well, I’m okay now. I made it, and so did you.”

He ran a thumb over her cheek with a soft smile.

“Wish you didn’t have to make it through it at all.”

“The feeling is mutual.”

Grayson shifted then, rolled them over to the side so Indy was between him and the back of the couch, coiling his arms around her tightly, shifting her up enough for him to kiss her. He let his hand roam down her back, over her ass, grabbing and moving until her leg slotted above his.

“I love you,” he said, hoping she knew just how much. She moved her hand from his cheek, let her arm wrap around him, trapping him closer to her.

“Love you more.”

He shook his head at her, making her laugh against his skin.

“You don’t have a nap written in your schedule, am I gonna screw it all up?”

“I can shift things. I’m flexible.”

He laughed again, a beautiful sound that bounced off the walls of the apartment and filled the space. Indy kept her leg wrapped around him, holding him close and finding his lips with hers again, breathing him in - her favorite distraction.

“Flexible hm? How flexible?” His voice had dropped slightly, throat gruff.

She knew they weren’t going to sleep, so she gave in, dipping down to kiss along his neck, taking charge a bit more than usual.

“You know, I think we might be the only couple who can switch from parental trauma to horny within 60 seconds,” she mused, smiling at the rumbling laugh it got out of him.

“Maybe we’re just built different.”

“Hate that,” Indy mumbled, moving back up to kiss him again. He wasted no time in coaxing her shirt off, sitting them up with her in his lap so he could do the same to his own, getting her bra off quickly after his own sweatshirt was gone. There was no better feeling than her skin against his, he was sure. Her hand landed on the middle of his chest and she hummed, smiling.

“You didn’t shave your chest hair.”

He pulled back a bit with an incredulous look. He hadn't even thought about it, but she was right. “You noticed that?”

“I notice everything about you. You’re my favorite thing to study,” she smiled, and his heart melted in his chest. The only way he knew to respond was to pull her back to him. In a bed, he would have rolled them over, climbed above her, but the couch limited him and he was at her mercy for the time being.

She didn’t seem to be in much of a rush, and between the slow roll of her hips and the kisses she pressed along a path from his jaw to his collarbone, he was very much wishing she would pick up the pace. His hands slid down to her hips, pressing her down against him in a bid for friction.

“Easy,” Indy laughed his favorite laugh, the breathy one that seemed like an afterthought. “If I’m gonna rearrange my schedule, I get to set the pace.”

“Well then, take it away,” he chuckled, but it faded into more of a groan when she nipped at his shoulder, letting her hands run down his sides. She left goosebumps in the wake of her nails, and he couldn’t help but shudder as she toyed with the waistband of his sweats for a moment, like she was playing a game. Grayson Dolan wasn’t used to being at the whim of anyone, and it was liberating in a way that had his nerves buzzing.

Indiana was perhaps enjoying herself a bit too much. Usually, she was so overwhelmed by him that she didn’t have time to really take him in. So, she soaked up the opportunity of having him displayed out for her, tracing her fingers over every plane of him - the v of his hips, the muscles over his ribs. Down his arms, back up to his shoulders, running her thumbs over his scruff as she cupped his face. When she made it back down to his abs she felt them flex under her hands, his hips bucking up just barely against hers.

“Baby.” His tone was stern, and she played into a bit, looking at him as innocently as she could.

“Hmmm?”

“You’re teasing.”

“I’m admiring.”

“Okay, then you’re cheesy and you’re teasing.”

“Guilty as charged,” she murmured, shrugging a bit.

Bad move.

His arms wrapped around her tightly, ensuring he didn’t lose his grip as he planted a foot on the floor and rose up just enough to roll them, getting her underneath him on the couch. It happened so fast that all she could do was gasp, eyes wide as she stared up at him, the blues bright with shock.

“Now, where were we.”

His cockiness was back in full swing, but he paused at the pout that came over Indy’s face.

“What?”

“I kinda liked being up there,” she said, running her hands along his arms as he held himself up above her.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“You wanna switch again?”

“Kinda.”

“Okay, I’ll make you a deal. Pants off, then we switch.”

“Deal.”

He stood up first, taking her hand and pulling her up to her feet. They shimmied out of the pants and underwear quickly, leaving them in a pile on the rug in a rush to get back to each other. The mood shifted yet again when he guided her onto his lap as he sat down, lighthearted and fun as she got herself settled. Grayson had never had lighthearted sex before he met Indiana Cross. It was always scratching an itch, even when it was with people he was in a relationship with. She seemed to unlock another side of him, one that made it so much more fun to have her above him, struggling to keep her hair out of her face and get close enough to him at the same time. He wasn’t sure how she managed to be adorable and sexy at the same time, but when she finally got herself lined up and began to sink down onto him, he didn’t have the brain power left to care.

“Shit Dee,” he groaned, using every bit of self control he had to keep his hips still, letting her set her agonizingly slow pace.

She whimpered with every inch that she moved down, finally taking all of him somehow, arching her back for a moment before she caved, leaning forward onto his chest, burying her face in his neck.

He started as slow as his body would let him, groaning as she started to grind her hips, searching out an angle that kept the pressure building. It took a moment, like it always did when they tried a new position, but when she found it Grayson knew by the way her nails dug into his shoulders. He grabbed her hips to hold her there, memorizing the way their bodies fit together so he could get right back to that same spot over and over again.

“Gray,” she whimpered into his ear, bracing her forearms on his shoulders as he chased her high for her, determined to have her shaking. All she could do was moan and hold on as he thrusted into her faster with a renewed purpose, only stopping when she clenched so hard that he could barely move.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” Indy whined, every muscle in her body tightening down in defense of how overwhelmed she suddenly felt, breath catching in her throat as her orgasm ripped through her. His arms coiled around her back as if he was trying to hold her together as she shook, and he chased the last of his high, lifting her off of him at the last possible second before he came, white streaks landing on his torso. He knew it would be a mess and he didn’t care - he pressed her back to him, wrapping her up for a moment in his arms and letting the two of them come down.

“Woah. Good woah,” Indy mumbled, pressing kisses to his neck where she could reach.

“I second your good woah.”

“Good.”

“Do you have time in your flexible schedule for a shower? I got you all sticky.”

She sat up and pretended to ponder it for a moment, making a show of quirking her eyebrow just to make him laugh. “I suppose I could pencil it in. C’mon.”

She climbed off him and took his hand, leading him to her bathroom with a smile. They paused in front of the mirror for a moment, and it was the first time in a long time that Indy felt happy to be looking in one. But still, she turned around and looked up at her boyfriend - he looked better in real life than in his reflection anyways.

“You know, if you play your cards right, you might just win yourself a round two.”

That was all it took for him to pick her up so fast she squealed, carrying her behind the privacy of the shower curtain for a second taste.

-------------

Bekah’s hands were always cold, but they felt like ice cubes in Indy’s hands. She rubbed along her skin in a bid to warm her up, eyes wandering over to Grayson.

“She’s pale,” he murmured, keeping his distance as he stood at the end of the bed. The sight of her so still in her hospital bed was unsettling. He had expected their first visit back to be filled with smiles, and ‘I miss you’s’, stories of California and her recovery.

Instead, they’d walked into Bekah’s room to find her fast asleep underneath her Halloween blanket, brows furrowed in what he hoped was concern and not pain.

“Her body is probably just trying to get used to the new cells. Not making enough blood, she’s probably up for another transfusion soon.”

“How do you know?”

Indy nodded towards what Grayson had assumed was an IV pole - he supposed it was, but instead of the usual bags of clear or milky liquid, there were just empty hooks.

“An hour.”

Bekah’s voice was dry and horse, and although it was quiet, it made both of them jump.

“Hey! How’re you feeling?” Indy immediately perked up, painting that smile across her face that Grayson had started to associate with everything hospital, from the sounds to the smell of bleach.

“Tired. My next transfusion is in an hour.”

“Did the doctor say anything about your counts?”

Bekah looked at her and rolled her eyes, wincing as she tried to sit up in bed. Indy reached to help her but she held a hand up.

“I have a transfusion in an hour, you tell me what my counts are,” she muttered, sitting up for a moment before she let out a sigh and put her face in her hands.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay Beks,” Grayson said.

“No, it’s not. You all came to see me and I’m being an asshole.”

“No one is nice when they don’t feel good,” Gray offered, moving to the other side of the bed and resting a hand on her shoulder. It was a simple gesture, a small attempt at consoling, but it was too much for Bekah. The sniffles turned into broken sobs that shook her entire body so hard it looked like she would come apart.

“I’m just tired of this. I’m tired.”

There wasn’t an adequate response to give, so the room filled with silence apart from her sobs as they did their best to hold her together, wrapping their arms around her, around each other. Indy’s eyes were red by the time Bekah’s cries quieted, and Grayson scrambled to come up with something, anything, to lighten the mood.

“Well, if we have an hour, that means we have time for an episode of something. Didn’t you say you were watching Vampire Diaries while we were gone?”

Bekah nodded, laying back against the pillows.

“Then let’s watch one and just chill. Save your energy.”

He set it up quickly, turning off the lights and pulling his chair over to the side of her bed as it started to play. When he looked over, there was just enough light to see that Bekah had reached for Indy’s hand. And to his surprise, she reached for his too. He took it, trying to ignore the way his throat tightened at the feeling of her squeezing weakly - a silent thank you as the episode began to play.

-------------

The first two weeks of November passed with unrelenting speed. Indiana buried herself in her school work, carving out what she could for quality time for Grayson, even if it was just going out to Jersey with him for a movie night that ended with her asleep on his lap before the opening scene was done. He didn’t mind - he just liked having her around, watching her get closer with Ethan and his mom, knowing she was safe because she was there with him. It was hard to help someone who was so determined on being independent, but he did what he could and she did the same, spending what little time she had encouraging him and supporting him.

Grayson had his own work to focus on, and it filled the time nicely as they worked to get their brands up and running through the holidays, plus the task of finalizing the plans for the details of the tiny homes. Somehow, it was already the week of Thanksgiving before he stopped to take a breath, which he found in the backyard with his brother the day before the holiday.

“Listen. I can make rolls. I can’t fuck that up.”

“Ethan, you could fuck anything up, including rolls. Just get cups. And things to put in the cups.”

“Fuck you,” Ethan grumbled, tossing the football a bit harder than necessary across the back lot. Grayson wished he’d put on gloves, but

“When is evil coming in?”

“She lands tonight, gotta go pick her up at 10:30. Is Indy staying out here tonight too?”

“No, I’m staying at her place, her sister and her boyfriend fly in tomorrow morning so we gotta pick them up. You’re picking up Cam tonight too right?”

“Yeah. Damn, I feel like dad,” Ethan laughed, a puff of white in the cold air.

Grayson waited for him to elaborate, throwing the ball back.

“He was always the chauffeur. I mean jesus, how many times do you think he picked us up from the airport when we came home?”

“True, he fucking hated that drive too. Complained about it the whole time, every time.”

“Like you don’t hate driving into the city.”

Grayson quirked an eyebrow at him, tossing the ball a bit harder, trying to put a different spin on it.

“Okay, fine, used to hate it. Now you just like it cause you get laid at the end of it.”

“True,” Gray grinned. “That makes me sound like a douchebag though.”

“You are a douchebag.”

“We’re identical twins, so if I’m a douchebag you’re a douchebag by association,” Grayson said.

“True. You aren’t a douchebag when you’re around Indiana, I’ll give you that.”

“Yeah, she wouldn’t put up with that shit.”

“You are a simp though.”

“Says you.”

“I never said I wasn’t.” Ethan shrugged, offering up a smile as he threw. “Eden really likes her by the way. Says they’d be great sister-in-laws in the future. I told her to chill with that shit though.”

Grayson missed the ball, not even bothering to watch it bounce away on the ground.

“Why?”

“Well, you said you were never going to ask her to leave, or move or whatever. And you live in LA, we live in LA, so... I mean, being here this long is just because of the tiny houses. And I know you, you can’t do long distance bro, you’re too physical.”

“Oh fuck you, I can survive without getting my dick wet if it means being with somebody I love.”

“That’s not what I fucking meant, I mean you’re touchy, and you need to be close to the people you love. Like physically close, as in in the same room, in the same house at least. That’s why I haven’t said shit about you being at her place every night of the week. I get it Gray, it’s how you are. But that shit won’t work when you’re on the other side of the country, and I know you aren’t going to ask her to fly out there to see you after how bad those flights were for her. And I love you, and I’m gonna support you, but you can’t fly home every weekend either. We have businesses, we have shit to do. Work.”

“I know that, I’m not stupid.”

“And it makes me feel like a shit brother but you always tell me that I’m supposed to keep you on track, so if that means being the bad guy then that means being the bad guy.”

“E I know.”

“I’m not saying you have to like break up with her or anything but, I just, I think it’s gonna be hard. Like really really hard.”

“Ethan. I know.”

“I just don’t want to see you hurt, that’s all.”

“Yeah. I get it. But can you just drop it for two fucking seconds? It’s almost Thanksgiving, let’s just focus on that. Besides, you’re the one who said to wait to cross the bridge when we come to it,” Grayson huffed.

“It’s the last week of November almost. Hate to break it to you, but the bridge is right in front of you.”

The thought made his stomach drop.

“Let’s go inside. S’cold.”

--------------

It felt unnatural to have her sister in the back seat, but that’s where Charlie climbed in after Grayson had helped them load their minimal luggage into the back of the car and made his introductions. They’d borrowed Lisa’s SUV for Devin’s sake, knowing that his long legs would be cramped in the backseat of anything, especially the truck.

“How was your flight?” Indy turned almost fully in her seat, trying to soak in every minute she had with her sister - they had to fly out bright and early the next morning.

“Bumpy,” Charlie laughed, picking at her nails in her lap. Indy frowned when she noticed - it was her nervous tick.

“Devin I have no idea how you fit in coach bro, I barely fit and I’m tiny compared to you,” Grayson chimed in, checking over his shoulder as he pulled out of the pick up lane.

“It’s a struggle my man, it’s a struggle. But I don’t think anyone in their right mind would look at you and call you tiny. You’ve got me beat in every department but leg length.”

“Hey, if you’re actually serious about growing muscle I can throw together a workout for you while you’re here.”

“For real? That would be sick bro, I could really use the help.”

Indy held back her laugh at how they both slipped into bro mode so quickly, and Charlie seemed to be on the same page as she snickered. Eventually conversation gave way to music, Indy proud of herself for finding a perfect 2000’s throwback playlist that had everyone singing and bouncing around in their seats. By the time they made it to the house, they were all a bit breathless and full of nostalgia.

When they climbed out onto the gravel, Charlie stuck close to her sister.

“Lisa is mom. And Ethan is the twin, Eden is the sister, Cameron is the girlfriend?”

“Cameron is sister, Eden is girlfriend,” Indy laughed. “Thank god you asked.”

Charlie gave a bit of a chuckle, and Indy nudged her.

“They’re good people Char. Don’t worry, they’ll love you.”

“I just… haven’t done this in a while.”

She wrapped her arm around her older sister’s shoulders as they approached the house, squeezing her lightly.

“I know sis. I know.”

Inside, Eden was trying to be subtle as she peeked through the blinds on the windows, watching the whole crew approach.

“They’re here! Come to the door, they’re here!”

“Babe, that’s creepy. Just come sit down,” Ethan laughed, waiting for Cameron to make her next move in chess.

“It’s not creepy, it’s friendly,” she countered, but she stood back from the door at the last moment to try to make it less intimidating.

“Hey guys!” Grayson’s voice boomed loud through the house as soon as he opened the door, his excitement obvious. Cam and Ethan abandoned their chess game for a moment, and Lisa came from the kitchen with a warm smile.

Indiana officially met Cameron for the first time, happy that she went in for the hug. Lisa hugged everyone, making everyone laugh when she looked up at Devin and said “my god you’re tall.���

Once everyone had met everyone, Lisa clapped her hands.

“Alright, let’s get to work!”

The Dolan’s did things in stations it seemed, which pleased Indy’s organizational side that usually went a bit crazy around the holidays. Lisa was nice enough to assign each couple a dish to work on, which of course became a competition, like everything seemed to. Indy wasn’t sure how they were going to truly compare E squared’s vegan stuffing to Charlie and Devin’s vegan mac and cheese, but she didn’t care.

Because Grayson was beaming beside her as they worked on peeling potatoes over the trash can, and everywhere she looked she saw smiles. Devin was swaying his hips to the music while Charlie tried to copy him, just a blip behind the beat. Ethan and Eden raced to see who could chop vegetables quicker until Lisa told them to slow down so someone didn’t end up needing stitches.

LIsa was the master of the operation, working on three different things at once, waving off Indy’s offer of help.

“I used to feed all three of them and their dad. Cooking for an army is second nature,” she teased, but that familiar tone was in her voice that tugged at Indy’s heart. Ethan eventually connected to the speakers and shuffled a playlist filled with everything, from Elton John to Cudi. Grayson got vegan butter on his shirt at one point while dancing too hard, and when Indy laughed he swiped it off with a finger and smeared it on her nose. The kitchen got so hot they cracked a window, with the revolving door of the oven trying to handle all the dishes and all the bodies close together.

By 2pm, everyone took turns carrying everything into the dining room to the massive which Cameron had decorated. Everyone took their places at the table, with LIsa at the head, Grayson and Ethan beside her with the girls beside them, and Charlie beside Indy, Devin beside Eden, who had seemed to hit it off with him in their short few hours of knowing each other, and Cam at the other head.

“Before we start, I think we should all go around and share something that we’re thankful for,” Lisa proposed. “I’ll start. I’m very thankful for my health, and for my family. For my wonderful daughter, and my amazing boys, and my husband, who I love and who watches over us every day.”

She could only speak for herself, but it was a safe bet that everyone’s throats tightened. Ethan cleared his before he spoke.

“I’m thankful for my family, for the quality time we get to spend together. For my brother’s ability to deal with my ass and his help in chasing our dreams and making that shit happen. And for Eden, because… well just because.”

Eden laid her head against his shoulder for a moment before she spoke up.

“I’m thankful for my dream job, and getting to do something I love every day. I’m thankful for Ethan, for loving me and keeping me sane. And I’m thankful for all of you, especially you Lisa, for welcoming me into the family.”

“I’m thankful to be here, to meet new people and get to eat some awesome food. Thank you, for inviting us in and sharing your holiday with us,” Devin said, polite as ever.

“I’m thankful for the wine,” Cam grinned, sipping from her glass quickly just to get an eye roll out of her mom. “And for all of you, and good food, and for family. Charlie?”

Charlie threw Indy a nervous glance before she spoke.

“I’m thankful for my sister, and my boyfriend, who always keep me together and on track, and who make me laugh. And I’m thankful for new friends, and good food.”

Indy had been so intent on listening to everyone else that she hadn’t even thought of her own response.

“I’m thankful for my sister, and for all of you guys, who have been so kind to me. I’m thankful for this guy,” she bumped Grayson’s shoulder. “For loving me, and supporting me in everything I do. And, I’m thankful for the years I had with my mom. I wish she could be here today, but I know she’s up there watching, and she’s thankful that I have you guys.”

She ignored the way her eyes stung, turning to Grayson, who squeezed her thigh under the table.

“I’m thankful for my family, and for the way that dad guided us to be who we are today - all of us Dolan’s. And I’m thankful for Indy for showing me what strength and determination looks like. And for everyone here, because we’re all family. I love you guys.”

The weight of his words hung in the air for a moment as everyone soaked them in.

“Alright, dig in!” Lisa broke the silence, reaching for the rolls.

Grayson squeezed Indy’s thigh once, tracing a little heart with his index finger when she leaned over to kiss his cheek before turning back to the table. They all ate until their plates were clear, almost all of them heading back in for seconds. The final verdict was that the vegan mac and cheese was the winner of the side dish competition, much to the pride of Devin. The evening settled into various activities, from Grayson teaching Devin proper pull up form to Charlie letting Eden take test shots on her camera. Indy mostly watched from the sidelines, happy to see all the people she loved all together in one place.

Her family.

“Thank you for this.” Lisa’s voice startled her a bit, but she relaxed when the older woman moved to stand beside her.

“I should be thanking you!”

“No. We didn’t do Thanksgiving last year. Everything was still too… raw, I suppose. Everyone is here because you asked them to be. So, thank you, truly.”

The tears that Indy had been fighting all day finally found their place on her cheeks, and she sniffled through a laugh when Lisa hugged her.

“Well, thanks for sharing your family.”

“It’s not sharing if you’re a part of it my dear.”

She pulled her close for a hug before the two of them folded themselves into the mix, running around in the cold air of the backyard and enjoying each other’s company as the night drew to a close. They opted for pie and vegan ice cream to finish off the night, and Charlie insisted they take some pictures before the food comas took over. She’d thought ahead enough to bring a tripod, and she sat it up in the living room, making sure every couple got a few that they liked, and that they all got one together. Lisa requested one of just her kids where they of course all goofed off enough to annoy her. Charlie would send them all in the next few days, Indy’s favorite being the one of her on Grayson’s back, wrapped around to kiss his cheek while he grinned with his eyes squeezed shut. It became her lock screen as soon as she saved it, and Lisa went on to get the family one framed, as well as the one of all of them together too, both beside each other on the mantel held with equal importance.

---------------------------------

The Thanksgiving leftovers only lasted two days in Indy’s fridge. With the stress of preparing for four cumulative finals, she didn’t have time to cook anything, and the microwaveable vegan leftovers were a god send. So was Grayson, who stayed by her side each day as she studied, quietly keeping himself busy with work until she needed him. It was a nice co-existence, both of them understanding the need for quiet but enjoying each other’s presence nonetheless. By Wednesday, she was only left with one last final, though it was her hardest, and she couldn’t convince herself that she’d prepared enough despite pulling multiple all nighters. He quizzed her when she asked, even though he butchered half the pronunciations. His commentary was the comedic relief she needed to get through it though, and she was more than grateful that he was there.

“Last set, and then you need to take a break.”

“But-”

“No buts. Unless you’re talking gluteus maximus.” He grinned when she rolled her eyes. “Baby you’ve been going non stop for 4 hours now.”

“Okay fine, hit me with it.”

“Soleus.” She pointed to the side of his calf. “Extensor carpi ulnaris.” The outer side of his forearm. “Zygomaticus major.” His cheek. “Iliopsoas.” The inside of his thigh.

“Dee, you know these. You literally don’t even have to think about it, you know them.”

She shook her head before he even finished his sentence. “I need more practice.”

“The only thing you need more of is sleep,” he countered. “C’mon, we’re both exhausted, let’s just take a nap.”

“Once we finish the set, then we can.”

“Fine. Serratus anterior.”

She tickled his ribs, making him squirm away from her.

“Biceps femoris.” She heaved his leg up from where it was resting on the couch, pointing to a spot in the middle of the back of his thigh.

“Teres major.” It was a reach, but she made it around to the back of his armpit.

“Teres minor.” She poked the same spot, just a bit harder.

“Okay, ouch, don’t abuse my teres. Uh, gastrocnemius.” She was gentler on his calf.

They went through the rest of the stack like that, with Grayson doing his best to say them correctly while Indy poked and prodded.  

As soon as he flipped the last card he yawned, sitting the stack aside and leaning forward to grab her, dragging her on top of him and nuzzling his nose into her hair. Indy sighed and relaxed into him, his warmth and the weight of his arms settling her body down. She could remember the days where she’d always wanted something as simple as this, just laying on her couch with someone to hold, and she tried to soak it in.

“I love you,” she said.

“I love you more,” Grayson countered, pressing a kiss to her forehead. His hands moved under her shirt over her back, finding space.

R-E-L-A-X

“Can’t. My mind won’t stop.”

“Well, I’d offer to sing to you or some shit, but your ears would probably bleed,” he chuckled.

“S’okay. I’ll just dream about muscles or something. Innervations.”

“Sounds exciting.”

“Oh yeah, riveting stuff.”

She wiggled around to get comfortable, her cheek squished against his chest as he rubbed her back.

“Sleep, have your little anatomy dreams,” he teased, reaching over the back of the couch for a blanket to drape over the two of them.

It took a little while, but she managed to drift off to the soothing sound of his heartbeat and the feeling of his fingers against her skin.

And she dreamed.

Indiana was in a hallway. White, smooth walls with doorways that stood black and brooding on either side. Her stomach turned a bit, unease washing through her veins as she took a few small steps forward, moving to peek past one of the frames.

“Don’t sweetheart.”

Her head shot up. At the end of the hall was Nicole. She looked young, even younger than Indy’s last memories of her. Youthful, and full of life, her blonde hair familiar as it hung down and framed her face.

“Mom.”

“Hi my love.”

Indiana ran. She barreled past the doors, not even giving them a second thought as she finally, finally landed in her mother’s arms. The tears were inevitable, but she didn’t care that she shook as Nicole held her, the way only a mom could. Held her body, but held her soul.

“Where have you been? Where’d you go?”

“I’ve been here the whole time. Right here with you.”

“I miss you. I miss you so much.”

“I know. But I’m here.”

She pulled back, letting her mom brush her hair behind her ear the way she always used to when it fell into her eyes.

“Look at you. You’re all grown up. Look at those beautiful eyes. So blue.”

“Just like yours,” Indy said.

“Just like mine.”

A part of her knew that she was dreaming. She knew her mother was gone, that this wasn’t real. But her heart refused to accept it, because she could feel her mother’s skin, hear her voice, feel her like she hadn’t been able to in so long. So she just stared. Tried to memorize every part of her face, every smile line, every freckle. She wasn’t sure how long she stood there, but Nicole was the one to break the silence.

“Baby. I need you to be careful.”

Indy frowned. “Careful?”

“With your heart. I need you to be careful with your heart, with my heart.”

“Momma what do you mean?”

Nicole looked to the left. Indy followed her gaze, surprised to see that the light was on in the doorway.

The doorway to Bekah’s room.

“Beks,” she breathed. Her feet automatically moved, taking her into the room until Nicole’s arms wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her back.

“Indiana,” Nicole cautioned. “No.”

“No, no Mom it’s okay, she’s getting better, see? Look, she’s fine.”

She pushed forward, but Nicole’s grip only tightened.

“No baby. Look.”

Indy listened. And she watched. Watched Bekah try to sit up in her bed. She was probably calling for Jessica, or Emily, or maybe even Indy. Her mouth opened, and no sound came out, her eyes going wide for a moment before she fell back against the pillows, chest rising too fast, too shallow. Indy knew what that meant.

“No. NO! Beks! Bekah!”

“Shhhhh baby, there’s nothing you can do, Indiana stop, there’s nothing you can do.”

“BEKAH!” She cried anyways, fighting her mother’s grip as she watched the monitors light up, heard their mocking monotone calls as they alarmed. Nurses appeared, and Indy watched them do all the right things, give all the right medicine.

She didn’t wake up.

“No, no no no no,” Indy wailed, thrashing in her mother’s arms.

“Indiana. Indiana. Dee!”

She was back in her living room, and Grayson was scared.

“Wha-” she looked around, bewildered. She was sitting up, which disoriented her a bit, though she was with it enough to realize she was still in Grayson’s lap.

“Hey, you’re okay, you’re safe,” Grayson said, eyes still wide. He pushed her hair back out of her face as she looked down, only then realizing that she’d balled up his shirt in her hands. She let go, looking at the disheveled fabric, which was also splotched with dark spots.

“I’m- sorry, I don’t… I uh… I had a nightmare. Sorry.”

“It’s okay baby,” Grayson murmured. “You okay?”

Those two words brought on a whole other wave of tears, and she crumpled into him, shaking her head as she cried.

It took him by surprise for a moment - he knew she didn’t like to cry, and he’d never really seen her so upset. So he took a moment to process, and then he lifted her arms up over his shoulders, coiling his own around her and squeezing her to him as tight as he could without crushing her. He didn’t speak. He just held her, let her get it out of her system, whatever it was.

When her sobs turned to sniffles and his shirt was fully soaked through on the shoulder, he spoke up.

“What do you need? What can I do?”

She pulled back from him, frame seeming even smaller somehow as she sat there.

“Can you go check on Bekah? I know it’s Wednesday, and I know we’re going to tomorrow but… you don’t have to, I just, I know she’s alone up there, but I have so much work to do, and-”

“I can go. I’ll go,” he said. The pieces fell together in his brain, and he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Thank you,” she exhaled, shoulders slumping back down.

“Are you gonna be okay here by yourself while I’m gone?”

“Yeah, I need to study anyways, I’ll keep myself busy. Just need to know she’s okay.”

“Okay. I’ll make sure she’s good, might hang out for a bit and watch something if she’s up for it.”

“That sounds amazing. Thank you.”

He didn’t like the idea of leaving her there, but he could tell she wouldn’t have any peace of mind until she knew that Bekah was okay. It reminded him off all the times he’d called his mother in the middle of the night in those last few months before he’d officially come home, just to make sure his dad was still there.

“If you need me, call me okay? I’ll turn back around.”

“I will.”

“Promise?”

“I promise. I love you,” she said, kissing him quickly.

“I love you more.”

He shifted her off him onto the couch and got up, putting his shoes and coat on quickly before he could convince himself to stay. It was already dark outside despite it only being 6pm, and he kept his head down on the streets on his way to the hospital, mind racing until he got up to the unit and signed in.

He half expected Bekah to be lying still in her bed, on her back with all her machines on. Or, at least for her to be drained and tired like she had been the last few times they saw her. But when he cleared the doorway she was sitting up in bed on her phone, random Tik Tok audio’s playing. She looked up at him and smiled her brightest smile.

“Earrings! It’s a Wednesday, the fuck are you doing here?!”

He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“You get an extra dose of me this week, deal with it,” he teased, unzipping his coat and laying it over one of the chairs.

“Where’s Indy?”

“Studying for finals. It’s a me you date tonight, you pick. What’re we doing?”

“Well, I restarted Vampire Diaries.”

“Restarted? Bro, you were on season 7 yesterday!”

“Yeah so? The best seasons are the first two, we’ve been over this.”

“Whatever, scootch over.”

She did as he asked, though he had to put the bedrails down to even fit halfway on the mattress.

“Here, get in here so we can send some motivation to Dee,” he said, pulling out his phone and opening snapchat. They moved so just their noses-up were on screen, making Bekah laugh as he sent it off.

She screenshotted it and sent back a heart, which put his mind at ease enough to relax and attempt to enjoy an episode, though he wasn’t really following the plot considering they were almost halfway through the first season.

“So, what’s happening exactly?” He finally asked 20 minutes into the episode.

“Stefan is trying to be all ‘you deserve better than me’, and Damon just doesn’t give a shit. Essentially, Stefan doesn’t want to hurt Elena so he wants her to make the decision to break it off so he doesn’t have to. He doesn’t want to be the bad guy.”

“But if he loves her, then why does he want to break it off at all?”

“Well cause he’s bad for her. She would have to give up so much for him. She’s having to lie to her friends, hide all this stuff for him. Change her whole life really. But she wants to, because she loves him, he just doesn’t think it’s fair to ask that of her. But like… he’s still asking her to do it just by being with her, you know?”

He knew.

“I mean, and he’s a fucking vampire. Yah know, suck suck and all that jazz,” Bekah laughed. “If the rest isn’t a deal breaker, then that definitely is. I mean, yeah, Damon’s a vampire too but at least he just accepts it, and he doesn’t ask her to change or anything.”

He didn’t say anything.

“I’m Team Damon, if you couldn’t tell,” she tried again.

“Yeah. Me too.”

Grayson tried to shake himself out of his thoughts, but it was proving difficult. Luckily, Bekah just mistook it as him being super invested in the show, which made her happy. Jessica let him stay an extra fifteen minutes, and he took a quick video of Bekah wishing Indy luck on her last final before he left and headed out.

The walk home was worse. It was darker somehow, colder as his mind raced with realization after realization. He did his best to do the math in his head. It was December 3rd, which meant 30 days until he was supposed to go back to LA. All the way to the other side of the country, only coming back to Jersey every few months if he was able to. Ethan’s voice rang in his head as he trudged through the lobby and into the elevator.

That shit won’t work when you’re on the other side of the country.

He tried to breathe it off, put on a positive face before he opened Indy’s apartment door, smiling when he saw her on the couch, pencil tucked behind her ear as she looked over diagrams.

“Hi! How was it?”

“It was good, she’s good. Looks great actually.”

His phone buzzed in his pocket once, then again, and he pulled it out to check it.

A notification of a payment from the joint bank account, and then a text from E.

Booked the flights for the 2nd. Hope that’s cool.

“Everything okay?” Indy asked.

He put his phone back in his pocket and smiled.

“Yeah. Everything is fine.”

[the-bee-graveyard]

You’ll Thank Me Later- A Newtmas fanfiction

So this is the first fan fiction I’ve ever put on here (or anywhere) so I hope it’s not terrible. Sorry about any spelling/grammar errors, I proof read but I’m not attentive enough for it to be effective. I’ll probably delete this later but whatever.

Summary: Thomas ends up coaching his brother Chuck’s soccer team and developed a crush on a fellow coach. Minho causes a little bit a chaos and plays cupid, but nothing too bad. A little bit of Brendresa because what was I meant to do. Everyone ships Newtmas because I say so. Child!Gally but you’ll see what I mean later. 

Thomas didn’t know how he got talked into this, spending his Saturday’s and Wednesday afternoons coaching his younger brother Chuck’s football team.

His twin sister Teresa had coached it for three years, but she’d taken a job offer out-of-state and she and her girlfriend Brenda had moved away about a month ago, leaving his mother to pressure him into coaching instead.

That’s how he ended up standing on a sideline on some football field handing out red shirts with “Team A” printed on the back to thirteen year olds on his day off, his best friend Minho (who agreed to be his assistant coach) starting to assign kids to position.

“Have you seen my goalie gloves?” Thomas heard Chuck holler as he handed a shirt to some kid named Winston.

Thomas stole a glance at the other team to see what they were up against (just because he didn’t want to do it didn’t mean he wasn’t invested, it was just part of his competitive nature). The other team (their shirts read “Team B”) seemed to be made up of mostly girls, and one skinny boy who seemed more invested in picking at the grass than warming up with the rest of the team.

The coach was in short the most beautiful person Thomas had ever seen.

He was lanky, with warm brown eyes and fluffy looking blonde hair. He couldn’t be older than Thomas with his young face.

“That’s Newt,” Chuck said, suddenly standing next to Thomas. He swore that kid could teleport sometimes. “His sister Sonya’s the best on their team, he’s been coaching for longer than Teresa did. He picks Sonya up from school.”

“I don’t need his whole life story Chuck, I just need to know how good his team is,” Thomas rolled his eyes.

“Good,” Chuck replied. “They won the championship last year. Sonya and Harriet are their usual forwards, and things rarely get past them, and Aris and Rachel their defense are really good even if they don’t look like much.”

“How good’s our defense?” Chuck pointed to two kids Thomas was pretty sure were named Jeff and Clint who were trying and failing to pass the ball to each other. “Okay, we can work with that.”

“Teresa made it work,” Chuck corrected. Thomas glared at his little brother.

“Are you doubting my ability to coach a team?”

“Absolutely.” Chuck paused, looking past Thomas. “He’s coming this way?”

“Who?”

“Newt.”

“Hey Chuck,” A voice said from behind Thomas. Whoever spoke spoke with a thick British accent. “Where’s Teresa?”

“She moved with her girlfriend,” Chuck said. “This is Thomas, he’s our new coach.”

“Hey there Tommy,” Newt said. “I’m Newt, I coach Team B.” They shook hands, Newt had soft hands. “Good luck out there.” Thomas stared as Newt ran off and started talking to a dark haired girl that looked like him.

“Do you enjoy coaching a lot better now?” Chuck asked with a smirk.

“Go get in net,” Thomas rolled his eyes and went back over to Minho.

They got completely destroyed. Thomas had no idea a bunch of thirteen year old girls (and one boy) could be so vicious. Aside from learning thirteen year old girls were the meanest people in the world, he learned that his own team would need a lot of work if they wanted to get even close to the championship.

“He's kind of hot though,” Minho said as they packed up the equipment. Most of the other kids had left with their parents, only Chuck and his friend Gally remained, who Thomas promised to drive home. Thomas could see Newt out of the corner of his eye, talking to Sonya (who Newt called Lizzy) and Harriet, the two best players on Newt’s team by far. Poor Chuck never stood a chance in goal.

“Who?” Thomas asked his friend.

“Newt, and don’t be lying to me shank I see you noticing too,” Minho said, slinging a backpack over his shoulders and smirking evilly. Thomas hit his friend in the shoulder lightly and picked up a bag.

“We’ll get them next time,” Thomas said. he suddenly remembered he promised he’d call Teresa after the game and pulled out his phone and called his sister. 

“Hey Tom, how’d the game go?” Teresa’s cheery voice said. 

“Absolutely horrible,” Thomas said. “It was twelve to nothing.” Teresa started laughing.

“So you played Team B I see,” Teresa said. “They’re the only real competition, we’ve never been able to beat them even with me as coach. I’ll tell you what Tom, you get them to the championship game and Brenda and I will drive back for a week and help you against them. Deal?”

“Deal,” Thomas replied.

-Time Gap-

They’d just won the semifinals and Thomas agreed to take the whole team out for ice cream. They were at a place Thomas’s friend Frypan owned, and he agreed to give them a discount since they were a team and Thomas  and Minho clearly didn't have the money to pay for every kid.

“Have room for three more?” A familiar accented voice asked. Thomas looked up to see Newt standing there with Sonya and Harriet next to them. 

“Of course,” Minho said. “Take a seat, any seat.” Sonya whispered something to Newt before she and Harriet went off to sit with the other kids, Newt sitting down at the table with them, right next to Thomas. Thomas could see now that even though Newt was slender his arms were actually quite muscular. “So I assume we’ll be playing you in the championship came next week?” Minho’s voice broke through his train of thoughts.

“You will,” Newt confirmed. Thomas couldn’t take his eyes off of Newt’s eyes, the way his eyelashes seemed to move in slow-motion every time he blinked. He didn’t come out of his haze until Minho elbowed him in the arm, making him knock his ice cream onto Newt’s shirt.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Thomas said.

“No big deal Tommy, just ice cream,” Newt said. “I don’t fancy walking around in ice cream though. I’ll go grab some napkins.”

“Thomas’s got an extra shirt in his car, don't you Tom?”  Minho smirked, and Thomas finally figured out why Minho really elbowed him. It was all part of an elaborate plan. “Why don’t you two go grab that and I’ll watch the kids.” Thomas would’ve flipped him off if there weren’t kids around, instead he got up and walked out to his car, Newt following him.

“Might bit a bit large on you, but it should do,” Thomas said, handing Newt a gray shirt he pulled out of his trunk. He always kept a spare shirt in his car, just for incidents like this one.

“Thanks Tommy,” Newt said, pulling off his shirt covered in ice cream and putting on Thomas’s gray one. Thomas looked away, trying to hide the blush on his face. “I’m going to go put my shirt in my car, no need to wait up.” Thomas nodded and headed back towards the ice cream place.

“I hate you,” Thomas said, sliding down next to Minho, who still had that stupid smug look on his face.

“You’ll be thanking me for that one day,” Minho replied.

-Time gap-

Thomas forgot Teresa promised to come help out with the game until her white car pulled up next to his in the parking lot next to the football field as he got the equipment out of his trunk. She got out of the car along with Brenda and threw her arms around her brother, almost making him drop the equipment.

“Hey Tess,” Thomas said, smiling at his sister. “Hey Brenda. Nice haircut.”

“Thanks,” Brenda said.

“Enough chit chat, we’ve got a game to win,” Teresa said, officially in coach mode. 

“Please tell me she didn’t bring the whistle,” Chuck groaned as he got out of the car. Teresa pulled the infamous whistle out of her pocket and blew it right in her little brother’s face.

-Slight Time Gap-

“Alright guys, let’s get it together!” Thomas called to the team. “Chuck, Teresa suggested you and Winston starting as forwards, Gally, you get in goal. Zart, Nick, and Alby, you guys play midfield. Jeff, Clint, you take defense. Got it?” Everyone nodded and ran off to their positions.

“Aye Tommy, I see you called in reinforcements!” Newt called, gesturing to Teresa and Brenda.

“I can’t tell if he’s flirting with you or insulting you,” Minho commented. 

“I smell a ship, how come no one told me?” Brenda asked. 

“OTP,” Teresa grinned. Thomas glared at them before turning his attention to Newt’s lineup. He’d put Sonya and Harriet in defense and had Rachel and Aris as forwards. A girl Chuck said was named Beth was in goal, and those were the only people Thomas recognized. He thought the odds were pretty good, but they’d have to watch out for Harriet and Sonya.

“Who’s starting with the ball?” He asked Minho as the referee walked onto the field with the ball.

“They are,” Minho replied. “I’d say Chuck and Winston can get the ball from them fairly quickly, it’s getting through their defense that’s the problem.”

“Play towards the middle,” Teresa blurted out. “Sonya and Harriet always seem to go towards either side. If you play towards the middle there’s a better chance of avoiding them.”

“Chuck! Winston! C’mere a second!” Thomas called. Chuck and Winston ran over to them. “When trying to get around their defense head towards the middle, it should buy you a second. Good that?” Chuck and Winston ran back onto the field and the game started about a minute later.

It was on.

-Slight time gap-

Double overtime. They’d dragged the game out to double overtime. Thomas called a time out before the overtime started.

“Alright guys, we’ve got a strategy,” Thomas said. “Since it’s next point wins, we’ve just got to keep everyone busy enough for us to score. Jeff, Alby, you keep Sonya and at least one midfielder cornered at all times.” Newt had moved Sonya and Harriet back to forward at halftime, and Rachel and Aris were back in defense. “Clint, Zart, you take Harriet. Nick, support Chuck and Winston. The three of you should be able to get around midfield together, it’s Sonya and Harriet you’ve got to worry about. Shoot from the sides on Aris and Rachel, they congregate in the middle. High shots, Beth gets the low ones. Remember I’m proud of you no matter what happens out there.”

The team ran back onto the field, starting with the ball. Chuck passed back to Nick and began to run up the field to get passed to. Harriet ran to get the ball but Zart got in front of her before she could. Nick passed to Chuck and he zigzagged through their midfield before passing to Winston. Winston got around  Aris, and just as Rachel got up to him he passed back to Chuck, who kicked the ball into the goal.

The ref blew the whistle and Thomas hugged Minho he was so happy. He saw out of the corner of his eye Teresa kiss Brenda. He watched as the whole team ran and congratulated Chuck. 

They all lined up to congratulate the other team, Thomas in the way back behind Teresa, Brenda, and Minho. As he high fived the kids on the other team Thomas realized how much he enjoyed coaching the team. Before a few months ago he thought Teresa was crazy for wanting to spend her time coaching a middle school football team, but he was starting to pick up on the fact that his sister was right on a lot of things, whether he liked it or not.

“Good game Tommy.” Newt said as they shared a high five. What Thomas did next he probably wouldn’t have done under any other circumstances, it was the pure joy from winning the game speaking.

“Would you like to go get ice cream with me?” Thomas asked.

“Like, with both the teams?” Newt asked.

“No, just us.”

“So, like a date?” Thomas could feel the blush creeping up his face.

“Yes, exactly like that.”

“Bloody finally.” Newt rolled his eyes and Thomas felt puzzled.

“What?”

“I’ve been waiting for you to ask for weeks, you twat, it’s been driving me mad. I didn’t even think you were interested, but Minho said ‘wait’ anytime I voiced my concerned.”

“Minho?!” Thomas glanced over at his friend, who appeared to be talking to Teresa and Brenda.

“Yeah, he came up to me about a month back and told me he’d help me get you to ask me out if I wanted to.” If looks could kill Minho would be dead from the one Thomas served him. “So, um, ice cream?”

“I’ll come find you in the parking lot after we take pictures with the trophy, okay?” Newt nodded and blew Thomas a sarcastic kiss as he ran over to Minho, who’d apparently witnessed the whole thing and was grinning like crazy.

“Told you you’d thank me later,” Minho said.

“About that, we’ve got to talk about your lack of ability to mind your own business.”

[everlarkbirthdaygifts]

Happy Birthday, madelion82!

Apologies for the short delay on your birthday gift, @mandelion82​! We hope you had an amazing day today, and that you got exactly the presents you were hoping for! To keep your party going a little while longer, the wonderful @norbertsmom​ has written a story just for you!

Author's note: Happy birthday to @Mandelion82, sorry for the delay. I hope you enjoy your age gap, friends to lovers Everlark birthday fic. Big thanks to @mega-aulover who not only beta’ed this fic, but was also my writing partner. Without further ado…

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New Beginnings

Peeta Mellark is excited. There’s only 1 week left before school starts up again, but he’s excited nonetheless. He has the week off, and his best friend is finally home from her job at summer camp.

Summer without Prim had been completely boring. He had to work all summer in the family bakery because his older brother made the Panem University Football team, so Rye got to run around at practice everyday instead of working in the bakery like usual.

Peeta had to do all the heavy lifting, working 40 hours a week or more. Sure, the money was great - he bought a car! - but he was always dead tired by the weekend. And with his best friend away, Peeta had been bored.

But now, Prim and her sister Katniss are home. Peeta can’t wait to see them. He and Prim are juniors this year and Katniss is a senior. Peeta has had a crush on Katniss since his first day of school. When his dad introduced him to the daughters of his old school friend on his first day at Kindergarten. It was a day he would never forget.

He and Prim were in the same kindergarten class  and became instant best friends. Katniss, a first grader, on the other hand, intrigued him, especially how she took care of Prim. She was a year older, so she knew the ropes. She held Prim’s hand and explained what was going on so neither Prim nor he was nervous.

Peeta’s own brothers never did that for him. When he and his brothers  got to the schoolyard, his older brothers took off to go play with their friends until school started. Katniss, however, stuck around.

That first day, when the bell rang, all the kids were ushered into the auditorium. Peeta was so excited; he’d never seen so many kids gathered at one time. The school Principal, Effie Trinket held a welcome rally at the beginning of every new school year. Katniss directed Prim and Peeta to sit near the front so they could see better. Peeta quickly got bored of the Principal’s speech about rules and etiquette, but when Miss Trinket called Katniss up to the stage, that got his attention.

“My dear children, you are in for a treat,” Miss Trinket announced. “Your very own Katniss Everdeen is going to sing a song to start out our new year.”

Katniss stepped up to the microphone and in the voice of an angel started to sing a song called New Beginnings. Katniss voice soared to great heights. Prim giggled next to him, but Peeta didn’t pay any attention. He  stared in awe throughout the entire song. When she was done, Peeta stood up and gave her an enthusiastic standing ovation. Katniss looked over at Peeta and smiled, and Peeta was a goner.

That was 12 years ago, and Peeta still holds that crush close to his heart. Not only was Katniss his best friend’s sister, but she probably thought of him as a little brother.

Now, Peeta is on his way to visit the sisters for the first time all summer. He knocks at the door, bouncing on his feet, excited to see his best friend.

The door opens, and Peeta’s eyes go wide and his voice catches in his throat, because standing before him in a tiny green bikini is no other than Katniss Everdeen, the love of his life.

Not that she knows that, but she’s staring at him like he’s some kind of dummy, Peeta thinks, but he can’t seem to get any words out. He’s so distracted by her long flowing hair that she flips back over her shoulder.

Katniss gives him a small shy smile. It's so brief Peeta thinks he imagined the look on her face. Her smiles are rare.

“Is he here?” Prim asks from behind Katniss and it seems to break the staring contest.

Katniss steps back and tells Prim, “You just might have to shoo the girls away at school when they see your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Prim says as she passes Katniss, who’s rushing off to the back into the house.

“Come on in,” Prim tells him, then whistles as he steps inside. “Wow, you really put on some muscle over the summer. Working in the bakery really did your body good,” she says while squeezing his bicep, and pinching him on the side.

Peeta pushes her away. “Whatever, but you sure got taller. You’re taller than Katniss now.”

“I know,” Prim giggles. “She hates it.”

Katniss comes back out wearing a cover-up over her bikini, but Peeta can still see her long tanned legs. She’s such a goddess, he can’t keep his eyes off of her. “I’m outta here. Have fun guys,” Katniss says and rushes off.

“Stare much,” Prim teases, and punches Peeta in the stomach.

Katniss quickly looks back, but scurries off before Prim sees she was returning his stare. Her phone rings as she walks away.

“Peeta,” Prim chides, “You know the rules. No dating each other’s siblings.”

That rule came about because in the 6th grade, their fellow students, Cashmere and Glimmer got in a fight because Glimmer started dating Cashmere’s twin brother. They didn’t talk for weeks. So Prim and Peeta made a rule that they couldn’t date each other’s siblings. Peeta agreed even though he had a huge crush on Katniss. He knew he never had a chance with her. She was a year older, beautiful, and all the boys liked her.

That call is probably from her boyfriend Gale Hawthorne anyway, Peeta thinks, and tries to put Katniss in her tiny green bikini out of his mind. Peeta and Prim spend the rest of the day swimming in the backyard pool, telling each other about their summer.

By the time Katniss comes back, the sun is dipping into the horizon and Peeta swears that shade of orange is now his favorite color. It casts her golden skin in a hue that makes her look like a goddess. Peeta dives under the water to calm himself down.

For the rest of the night neither notice Katniss keeps peeking outside. When Peeta goes to leave, it’s his car that draws Katniss out again.

Prim whistles, “This old junk needs to be scrapped, not driven.”

“Hey, no!” Peeta leans in and whispers, “Don’t listen to her, cheese-bun, she knows nothing about cars.”

Katniss grins, then says, ”Nice ‘66 Shelby Cobra Mustang, needs a lot of work, but it looks like it has good bones.”

Peeta stares openly at Katniss.

“Don’t be too impressed, Gale’s dad is a gearhead. He teaches Katniss whenever she goes over there,” Prim says dryly.  

Peeta nods. Figures, her boyfriend probably drives a fully restored muscle car and takes her out every night. Peeta clears his throat, “I, uh, I bought it off of the goat man. You know that guy who runs the goat farm at the edge of town. He came into the bakery and was talking about getting rid of the car his son left in the barn before going off to war all those years ago. I went out to see it with my dad, and I couldn’t believe what he had. It was in terrible shape, as you can see, but I really have hopes for restoring her to her old glory.”

“Besides Prim, you shouldn’t be too harsh, this is the car that’s going to take us to school for the rest of the year,” Katniss says firmly.

“Sure,” Peeta squeaks out. He clears his throat and in a manlier voice he repeats, “Sure, yeah, I’ll be driving you ladies to school everyday.”

“Great, we’re gonna get laughed at on our first day back,” Prim whines, but Katniss tells her to shush.

Peeta gets in his car and starts it, but before he can put it into gear, it backfires. Prim shakes her head and grumbles while Katniss laughs and waves to Peeta as he pulls out of the driveway.

Peeta comes over everyday for the rest of the week, but Katniss is never around.

On the first day back to school, Peeta picks up Prim and Katniss. Katniss doesn’t say much. She has her earbuds in, listening to music. She gives him a quick nod and jumps in the back seat, so Prim can sit up front.

When they get to school, someone wolf whistles.

Cato Ludwig comes up and puts his arm around Katniss’ shoulder. “Now that Hawthorne is away, Kitty cat can play.”

Katniss ducks under his arm and pushes him away. Her legendary scowl in place. “Get lost, Cato.”

“Oh, not in a playful mood, are we?” he asks, then turns to Prim.

“How about you, little sister, you’re not so little anymore, are you?” and wiggles his eyebrows.

He goes to put his arm around Prim, but Peeta jumps in and twists Cato’s arm around his back.

Cato makes a counter move, but Peeta is ready and pins him to the ground. He may have been smaller than his brothers, but he’s had to wrestle his older brothers his whole life.

“Get off me,” Cato growls, not liking being shown up by a younger kid in front of the rest of the school.

Before Peeta can let him up, Coach Abernathy comes out of the building and blows his whistle.

Peeta jumps up and holds his hand out to Cato, who pushes it away before getting up himself.

“Cato and Peeta, enough of that.”

All the kids around make oohing sounds.

Cato whines. “I wasn’t fighting. Mellark jumped me.”

“Looked more like he was protecting his friends,” Coach replies. “From you.” He turns to Peeta, “You should think about joining the wrestling team with moves like that, but any more fighting and it’s detention for the both of you.” He emphasizes his point by pointing two fingers at both of the boys, then storms off back into the school.

“Thank you Peeta,” Prim tells him. She gives Cato a scowl and drags Peeta into the school by the arm. Katniss follows at a short distance behind them.

Peeta looks back at Katniss, and she nods, and mouths, “Thanks.”

“Mr. Mellark,” Coach Abernathy calls from his office.

Peeta hangs his head. Great, he thinks, I bet I’m getting that detention after all.

“I need to speak to you.” Coach Abernathy walks away.

Peeta tells Prim goodbye and follows Coach into his office. Once there Coach Abernathy shows him a chair.

“Kid you need an elective, that cooking class has been cancelled.”

Peeta sits up. “What?”

“Not enough people signed up and it got cancelled.” Coach Abernathy looks at his computer screen. “Let’s see, in that time slot, your choices are Auto Shop, and Public Speaking. Oh, wait a minute. You’ve already taken public speaking, so Auto Shop it is.”

“Great,” Peeta says as he gets up. I need Auto Shop to work on my car anyway, he thinks.

“Oh, and Mr. Mellark,” Coach Abernathy says before Peeta can leave the room, “You really should consider trying out for wrestling. You already got the moves.”

“I’ll think about it, sir,” Peeta says as he leaves the office.

Peeta just sits down in first period literature class. The teacher isn’t in the room, so most of the kids are still milling around. Cashmere, Glimmer, and Clove surround Peeta’s desk.

“Wow Peeta, you sure grew up this summer,” Cashmere tells him.

“Ya,” Clove says, then snaps her gum, “you got muscles, like your brothers.”

“You really took on Cato for Primrose Everdeen. He’s a senior. Is she your girlfriend?” Glimmer asks while twirling her hair.

“What? No, Prim is my best friend.”

“Oh, are you dating Katniss Everdeen, then?” Cashmere asks, then points at Katniss who just walked in the door.

Peeta makes a choking sound and stares over at Katniss who sits down on the other side of the room.

The girls all look over too, and Katniss quickly looks away.

“I see,” Cashmere says, and pulls the other two girls away, whispering and pointing between Peeta and Katniss.

“Katniss has a boyfriend,” Peeta finally says, although he doubts they hear him over their whispering. Katniss is going to hate being the subject of rumors, Peeta thinks.

Later that day, Peeta has lunch with Prim.

“People keep asking me about you, how you got so built, why you took on Cato.”

“Please, I don’t want to talk about that. Tell me about your day. Anything good happen?” Peeta asks.

Prim obliges by telling him about the new girl she met, named Rue. “She’s a new transfer from District 11 and reminds me of Katniss so much. She just loves the outdoors, and she sings all the time.”

“Sounds like you found yourself a new best friend,” Peeta teases.

“What? No!” Prim blushes. “You’ll always be my best friend. I just, I don’t know. I like her.” Prim looks down at her lap.

“Hey, no worries,” Peeta tells her, lifting up her chin. “I was just kidding. Go ahead and spend time with Rue. I’m happy that you made a new friend.”

“Thanks,” Prim says shyly.

The end-of-lunch bell rings and each heads off to their next class, Biology for Prim, and Auto Shop for Peeta.

Peeta walks down the long hallway to Auto Shop. He’d never been in this wing of the school before. His father had told him, back in his day, all the boys had to take Woodworking Shop and Auto Shop, while the girls took Home Ec, but nowadays, all those classes are electives.

Peeta steps into the classroom and finds several auto bays on one side of the room, and a long table with chairs lining the other side of the room. Several people are already sitting at the table, but he doesn’t know anyone yet.

“Hey Mellark,” a voice he was dreading to hear, calls behind him, “what are you doing slumming in Auto Shop?” Cato Ludwig asks him.

Before he can answer, the voice he loves to hear calls out, “Why, worried he’ll pin you again?”

The other kids chuckle as Cato’s face sours. “No one asked you, Everdeen,” he grouses.

Katniss Everdeen, this class just got that much better.

“Hey Katniss,” Peeta says shyly, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck.

“Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you were taking Cooking class this period.”

That’s odd she knew that, Peeta thinks. Prim must have told her.

“Uh, it got cancelled. This was the only class open. But I’m glad it was. Now I can learn how to work on my car.”

“Oh yeah. You need to ask Ms. Mason if we can use your car in class, but we’ll need to find another way to school. I don’t want to take the bus.”

“I can do that?” Peeta asks.

“Only if your car is worth my time,” A voice answers behind him.

Peeta turns around to find himself face to face with a woman in her mid twenties, with black spiky hair tipped in red, wearing a red tank top and coveralls folded down at the waist.

“Whatchagot kid?” she asks him.

Before he can answer, Katniss jumps in, “He’s got a ‘66 Shelby Cobra Mustang. Been in a barn for decades, but it could really be something if we can get to work on it.”

Ms. Mason nods. “Sounds good, and you guys can call me Johanna. I’m the teacher now, no longer the assistant, so what I say goes, got it?”

“Got it.” Everyone answers in unison.

“Okay, Lovebirds, you take bay one.”

“We’re not a couple, and the name’s Peeta, Peeta Mellark. Nice to meet you Johanna.”

“Kissing up doesn’t work in this class. And I don’t care if you and Brainless are together or not. Just do your work, Loverboy and you’ll do fine.”

Johanna moves onto the other bay assignments.

“Don’t mind her,” Katniss tells him, a light blush on her cheeks. “She gives everyone a nickname.”

“Yeah? How’d you get Brainless?”

“I forgot to put the oil pan plug back in last semester. Oil all over the floor. What a mess.” Katniss tells him with a grin. “It’s better than Meathead, or Marvelous.”

“Is that why they call him Marvel?”

Katniss nods with a smile. Katniss is something else in Auto Shop class, Peeta thinks. She really comes out of her shell, and Peeta likes seeing this side of her.

Peeta learns quickly that he knows nothing about cars, but the prospect of working on his own car with Katniss Everdeen is something to look forward to.

After school, Peeta drives Katniss and Prim home. Prim tells them about her new friend Rue, and how they are in almost every class together. She even wants to be a doctor just like Prim. With news of Peeta’s car being used in shop class, they find that Rue can drive them back and forth to school.

Katniss still sits in the back, but with Peeta now. They talk about everything they can do to the car. Peeta has never seen Katniss talk so much at one time.

Time flies, and the car is taking shape. Prim starts hanging out with Rue after school while Peeta and Katniss work on his car.

Peeta starts cutting his lunch short to go to Auto Shop class early. One day he is trying to configure the carburetor. He has to figure out how to connect the throttle link.

“Hey Mellark,” Katniss calls. “Why are you here so early? Shouldn’t you be at lunch with Prim?”

“I have to finish this up before class. I can’t mess up my test.”

“Let me help you with that,” Katniss says as she leans over.

“Thanks.”

“So quick, what do you call that,” Katniss says pointing to the round thing sitting on top of the engine.”

This is going to be painful. Peeta cannot focus on the car with Katniss so close. He’s staring at the graceful slope of her neck. Who knew a neck could be alluring. He begins to sweat.

“Earth to Peeta,” Katniss snapped her fingers in front of his face.

Peeta understands the meaning of becoming cross eyed. Momentarily his vision blurs and his heart rate spikes. He blurts out the first thing that comes to his brain.  “An air filter?”

“No it’s the air cleaner.”

“Right.” Peeta feels like an idiot. How in the world is he supposed to study when he turns into a buffoon in her presence. Peeta takes a deep breath to clear his mind. “I feel like I’m never going to get this right.”

“Don’t, these old cars aren’t easy. But they are fun to work on. And trust me, there’s nothing like the sound of a finely tuned engine purring.”  She gives him one of her rare rosy cheeked smiles.

Peeta has no idea what Katniss was talking about but he nodded. “Okay.”

“Now next question, what does a carburetor do?”

“It mixes air and fuel to make internal combustion.” Taking out a handkerchief he wipes his face and mutters under his breath, “I think.”

“Good.” Katniss reached out and put her hand on his forearm. “Name the different types of carburetors.”

Peeta thinks he’s going to combust. Nervously he wipes his brow again. He’s losing his concentration at Katniss' light touch. “Custom choke, vacuum, and multiple ven...vent-venturi,” he blurts out.

“Good. Now which one of those is in your car?” She squeezed his arm. Peeta is holding onto his sanity by a thin thread.

“It has a choke one,” he gasped. “I know because I was able to find the number…”

“You don’t have to say another thing, Johanna won’t really care. She just wants to make sure you know what you’re doing.”  Katniss removes her hand from his arm, flicking her signature braid over her shoulder.

“Really.”

“Yeah, if you’re going to drive this around you want to make sure you know what to do if your engine dies, or lose control. It's important.”

Katniss stares at Peeta for a moment, then her face becomes pink before she blurts out, “You know, you smell like a cookie.”

Peeta wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole. Why can’t he smell manly, he’s got the smell like the bakery. “I’m sorry I smell.”

“You smell nice.” She takes a step toward him.

He stands straighter, unsure of what to do next. “Thank you?”

She’s so close he can see the flecks of yellow around her pupils when he looks down into her eyes. Peeta bends his head and Katniss lifts hers. She licks her lips and he mirrors her movements as their faces move close together.

The bell rings and the door to the shop bangs open. Peeta jumps back and Katniss steps away, suddenly interested in the car’s front tires. The other students start shuffling into the classroom.

When Johanna comes in and starts the class, everything is back to normal with Katniss. It’s like that moment never happened.

Half way through the year, Peeta and Katniss stay after class to work on his car once again. Peeta closes the hood and stands back, looking over his car. Katniss stands next to him wiping her hands.

“The car is close to being done.”

“So what color are you going to paint her?”

Peeta thinks it over. “Well, my favorite color is sunset orange, but that’s not an original color. What’s your favorite color?”

“Green,” Katniss says shyly.

“Really? Peeta says excitedly as he pulls up the color chart for 1966 Mustangs. “We can paint it Ivy Green. That’s an original color.” He leans over and shows her his phone.

“You’d do that?” she asks as she looks at his phone.

“Of course, You’ve put in as much work on this car as I have.”

Katniss looks up into Peeta’s eyes and smiles. “I’d like that.”

Peeta reaches out and brushes a loose hair behind her ear. “Besides, I would have been lost without you. I want to paint it your favorite color.”

“Okay,” Katniss whispers as she looks up into his eyes.

“Okay,” Peeta answers as he leans down, meeting her lips.

Katniss’ breath fans across his cheek. He pecks her lips experimentally.

Katniss places her hands on his chest and leans up on her tiptoes to capture his top lip. Peeta hands find purchase on her hips and flex gently at the sensation of her lips moving against his. Peeta’s heart soars as she deepens the kiss. It’s everything he’s dreamed this kiss would be. He cups her chin and she moans.

Katniss pulls away. Their eyes meet and once more their lips meet over and over again until they are both breathless. Peeta pulls away.  “We shouldn’t be doing this?”

Katniss frowns. “You’re right, Katniss says, as she steps back. “Prim would hate me.”

“What about your boyfriend, Gale?” Peeta asks, confused.

“What are you talking about? I’m not dating Gale. I was talking about Prim. I know you two are dating. You’ve been best friends forever. She’d be stupid to not want to date you.”

“Uh, Katniss, if you haven’t noticed. Prim has been spending all of her time with Rue.”

“Really I thought it was because she was driving us to and from school.”

“Katniss, you’re the one I’ve been spending all my time with. I like you. I’ve had a crush on you since the moment I met you. This past year, working with you has been a dream come true.”

Katniss looks up at him and smiles. “Really?”

“Really,” Peeta answers her with another kiss. “So when you said Prim would be stupid to not want to date me, does that mean you would want to date me?”

Katniss looks down and whispers, “Maybe.”

Peeta lifts her chin back up and says, “I think I’ll just have to convince you.” And moves in to kiss her once more.

Neither of them hear the footsteps coming down the hall. “I think they are still in here,” Prim says. “The lights are still on.”

Prim and Rue walk in and find Katniss and Peeta in their passionate embrace.

“Finally,” Prim says.

“What about your,” Rue makes air quotes with her hands, “You shouldn’t date a brother or sister rule.”

“Rue I only did that because Katniss wasn’t ready to date. My sister’s so awkward about boys. I wanted to make sure she didn’t break Peeta’s heart. Besides, they’ve been dancing around each other all year. I think they’ll be a while. Let’s get out of here.”

Rue giggles.

“Shh....” Prim nods to the door.

Prim and Rue walk out hand in hand.

Back in the room, Katniss and Peeta each pull back and take a deep breath. Katniss looks around and asks, “Did you hear something?”

“Not a thing,” Peeta says, “but we are going to have to tell Prim about us. We had this rule…” Peeta drifts off, “but I think she will understand. They are probably waiting for us. Let’s go.”

Katniss and Peeta walk out, but Peeta says, “Hold on a second, and runs back, gives his car one last look and smiles at the thought of it bringing Katniss to him, and he turns out the light.”

This fic was inspired by both The Kissing Booth and Grease. I hope you enjoyed it.

[jiminrings]

homebound

pairing: yoongi x y/n

glimpse: race car driver!yoongi is a tiny bit fond of pit stop crew!y/n, grumpy crew chief!jimin will be the bANE of your existence, and jungkook is ur saving grace for bumper stickers whenever u wanna surprise yoongi :D

wordcount: 21k

notes: ok if u know charlie leclerc from F1, he was the inital reason why i wanted to write this au with yoongi!! think of this as an au with a mix of F1-level type of class and racing, but with a NASCAR type of pit crew that only has five members instead of formula one’s twenty!! i also asked my close friend for info since she’s an avid f1 fan to add on to my prior knowledge!! this is a work of fiction and accuracy does nOt always result to fun so pls just enjoy this!!! i also made a poll to what i should write next and this was one of the options and tHEN d-2 dropped and i was !!! ok it’s settled then // pic is from pinterest but i just edited it since it looked like it was shot with a 3210 hihi

also: you can talk to my characters!!! send in an ask anytime :D

(๑>◡<๑)

jungkook, as a person, is an excellent one

he’s talented, he’s kind, he’s driven, he’s gonna buy you your meal when you don’t have enough cash on you and would say “yA PAY ME BACK LATER” but in the end, he’ll just wave it off and say “nah i was kidding it’s my treat :D”

he’s also h*ndsome but you won’t say that again and again because his ego?? his bragging rights?? what then

jungkook, as a friend, is a fun, attentive, food-inhaling and money-draining carebear that can be pERSUASIVE if he needs to be

he lets u have the last slice of pizza!! or the last pringle or the last pearl in the massive cup of milktea you split with two straws and a giant butter croissant

he holds the umbrella up for the two of you when it’s raining and you’re sharing it

if he feels extra kind then he’ll be in the side in which there are more splatters and puddles to go through

if he feels like a sAINT then yes he may piggyback u but only if u hold up the umbrella because he’s a saint not four-arms from ben ten

7/10 times that he screenshots what’s in his cart but wouldn’t checkout, he genuinely just wants to show you because he’s excited and when you dO decide to get it for him, whether it was an actual shock or he just kept sending you screenshots until you got the hint, he makes sure to hug you until you physically can’t breathe anymore

he once saw this you liked that didn’t become your boyfriend because it turns out you were just a bet and you’re only worth a month of fucking gatorade

you’re not the most confident person ever in the worls but you’re sURE

you are worth more than month’s supply of glacier freeze for a no thoughts, head empty football jock senior

jungkook was sure too

if ur gonna be an asshat that he’s gonna hate anyway, aTLEAST make it cool blue because that belongs to top tier

he made sure he went to TOWN on that punching bag while looking at that dude

whatever he did, jungkook did with much more power and intensity and he is still maintaning eye contact after the airhead caught on and recognized him

HE NEVER SAW THE DUDE IN THE GYM AFTER

jungkook, as an athlete, is a beast and u gotta admit that

he played basketball in college while u played softball!!!

you were handpicked by your coach if you wanna try out for this once in a lifetime career opportunity aND it was sketchy at first

u kept asking on what was it about but all she said was “that’s for you to know.,.,., if you wanna accept the offer :))” and you were eventually driven to the edge because you wanted to know so badly

and then it turns out u were the ONLY one in your softball team to be handpicked as she said and then u were instructed to go to the gym in which there were chairs lined up

oh god is this a cult

there were a couple other people too and you could recognize some of them from the swimming team and this girl from weighlifting and that dude from football

they too did not have any idea at aLL

you just decided to sit by the last row... y’know... just in case....

and then jungkook strolls in confused as fUCK but in the same time excited and he sits beside you because he’s thinking the same thing of what if this was sketchy shit!!

you just knew him then because he looked familiar and you may have seen him asleep in your calc class a couple of times

and also because his hair was peach

how could u possibly forget that aha

“oH i like your uniform!!”

jungkook immediately spoke what was on his mind and pointed to your softball uniform u were still in and then your response was to freeze

ok that might have been too forward and-

“i know right?? oH MY GOD!! i signed up for softball in the first place because the uniform was sO COOL!!”

“bro i joined basketball because i heard that tHE WARMERS WERE SO SOFT”

:D

and then a friendship was born

the both of you were not thinking anymore about the fact that you’re both in a gym with no instructions whatsoever bc you’re too excited to be talking about what’s happening!!!

you joined a sport jUST for their uniforms?? oh my god i did that TOO

turns out that jungkook was actually great at basketball and he just knew then

also turned out that u were a gifted natural in softball even if you didn’t fully grasp the mechanics at first

“but when do i oH IS IT MY TIME TO RUN??? no?? not yet?? oh aha yeah i guess i run that fast :D”

the two of you bonded so good that it was immediately decided that u are really meant to be friends with each other

sometimes people mistake the both of you as a couple and u know what,,, sometimes the two of you take advantage of that because a fREE DESSERT?? ice cream on the house?? celebratory cake because jungkook one time jokingly went down on one knee and proposed a ring pop to you that he just saw LYING on the ground???

don’t mind if u do :)))

jungkook, as a fellow pit stop crew member, is a really comforting (and sometimes annoying) presence

he doesn’t question when you get whiney from the fatigue settling in and instead? he just whines with you!!

the impromptu meeting in the gym? it was actually an orientation and introduction to try out for a pit stop crew program for this really really popular racing organization :D

athletes were in-demand because the discipline and the speed and the skills were needed

and you were filtered furthermore and it just ended up with only the handful of you

of course you could opt out but if you do pursue to go through, and if you do exceptionally good, then you might just be one of the two people they’re gonna hire as a part of the pit stop crew after you graduate!!

god training was rigorous and the practical test was even more nerve-wracking

you were put in pairs and in groups to see how the camaraderie and teamwork would show and bEST BELIEVE THAT YOU AND JUNGKOOK.,.,.

exceptional

breathtaking

best work

not to toot your own horn or anything ://

aha and those two positions? of course it went to the two of you!!

but jungkook, as a fellow pit stop crew member but for your oPPONENT TEAM is beyond irking

you see...

it was guaranteed that you and jungkook would be accepted into the organization

what wasn’t guaranteed, however, is that the two of you would be a member of the same pit crew

u found that hIGHLY confusing because what for... you guys saw how kook and i work together.... don’t you want that idk intact?????

“hobi-hyung’s gonna win this time. i guarantee you that. i bet you HALF of my food allowance”

hobi aka jung hoseok is a force to be reckoned with

you always see him in races and u know enough about him because jungkook just won’t shut up about how great he is!!

he’s a very giggly and joyful person and sometimes you just can’t help smiling when you see him getting interviewed over by their spot

kook’s introduced you to hobi a couple of times eagerly now and hobi does not!! forget!! names!!

it’s a lil conflict of interest for you and jungkook to be openly best friends while being in oppositing teams, but that doesn’t seem to stop heh

hoseok shook your hand firmly and eVEN added another hand so your hand is sandwiched by his and he has a permanent :D on his face

u immediately got why jungkook was so fascinated and happy to be working with him

“i mean nO offense to hobi, kook, and he’s like a rEALLY really great guy and a great driver and i have tons of respect for him also i totally get why you’re whipped for him bUT-“

“ᵒᵏ ʰᵉʳᵉ ʷᵉ ᵍᵒ ᵃᵍᵃᶦⁿ”

“he’s great, but not min yoongi great!!”

he already had that coming

how can jungkook not anticipate that when you have said that to him a million times already

that guy barely even talks to you but he’s so chatty with literally Everyone But You

he has a theory

theorieS actually

ok first one is that ur a guardian angel for yoongi

WAIT NO HEAR HIM OUT FOR A SEC

you just gravitate towards him!! you wanna be around yoongi as much as you can in non-stalker way but rATHER in guardian angel ways

you and jungkook are almost always in the same place at the same time given your jobs

also sketchy for kook because it could be seven in the evening and you’d call him using the hotel phone and go

“eY JUNGKOOK do u wanna come with me to this pub :) to celebrate yoongi’s win today :) do you :) please :) say yes pls :)”

“y/n baby hOW many time do i have to remind you that i am yOUR team’s opponent,,, jung hoseok is the OPPONENT of min yoongi,,,”

“... how many drinks do u want”

...

...

“fINE i’m gonna wear a hoodie again and i’ll get a cab to tail your team’s car and i’ll come inside the pub five minutes after again and tHEN i’ll pretend to bump into you. a g a i n”

plus you always have the heart eyes for yoongi no matter how blank he is with you or frustrated he gets after a sucky race

second theory: you’re not a guardian angel; you probably just have a crush on yoongi

:O

wait does th is mean that lovers are like angels, and angels are like lovers?

goddamn

omg he should’ve just become a poet or something

get those hands busy with typing up the same message but in different wordings and nOT lifting up cars under time pressure or change a wheel like your life depended on it

lmao maybe he should become a singer or something

“but it is true!”

“you use his name as an adjective now!!”

“lol true the sunset was yoongi today”

god jungkook’s thinking if it’s possible to drown himself in this glass of water because eW you’re so in love and for WHAT

“what’s tHAT supposed to mean??”

“beautiful!! c’mon jungkook think every now and then!!”

yoongi just isn’t a name in the game

he is the name of the game

his dad was a famous racer up until his retirement

and then his grandfather set the family name into racing because boi is he a legend too

AND THEN HERE HE IS

yoongi’s been karting ever since he was like what?? six years old??

ultimately ever since he was a kid, he knew he wanted to do racing too

he just didn’t want his family’s reputation preceding him

(he was also thinking of wAIT do i actually have skills oR do i just have “skills” because it’s expected from me)

plot twist he did have skills

he tried out and just had his name as suga

and then when he knocked out those officials and got them sTANDING up from their seats because they really needed what was happening to sink in, that’s when he just dropped the truth bomb

“oh aHA actually i’m min yoongi!! nice to meet you!!”

he was just talented like that

so talented that he almost went with moto racing instead because he knew how to drive motorcyles!!

rode a bike twice and he immediately went pSH give me a motorbike nOW PLS :((

one time he fell out of balance and dislocated his shoulder and yoongi then decided that will never do that again lmao

the thing is, you haven’t had a proper lengthy conversation with yoongi that had some substance to it

it’s your default congratulations and you’re “oMG you killed it out there you were a bEAST!!” and him just going “thanks!” and then walking off

you wanna call him nicknames

if it’s not yoongi, then either it’s sir or it’s mr. min

and it’s no fun :((

how come jungkook can call hoseok HOBI

you really just wish you were as close

sometimes if you’re lucky, yoongi gets your name right!!

it’s okay!! yoongi’s just a little bit reserved with you!! that’s all!! :)

it’s a race day anyway and you all just headed out to the circuit fairly early

yoongi’s sitting by himself wearing a white shirt underneath his racing suit and uWu he looks so comfy :((

normally in practice days and practice drills, he’d be also sitting by himself as he looks wistful staring out

but no not really

he would pull out his phone a couple seconds later oR pass out and wake up when he feels like falling because one of his talents was to fall asleep sitting

sitting.,.. the seat doesn’t even need to have a backrest.,..,

the season is about to end and you dON’T want to pass another season without atleast attempting to invoke some reaction from him with how much you interact with him

you smiled at him more than a hundred times already but he just goes :] and then walks off AGAIN

you’re gonna be proactive!! you’re gonna do these moves!! yOU’RE GONNA OWN IT :D

you’re striding very confidently to where yoongi’s sat and he doesn’t take notice because his back’s turned to you and you’re walking too fast and motivated that he probably doesn’t hear you

wait maybe you need to back-track a little

“am i — am i supposed to know why you’re giving me a pill and what is this pill?”

maybe you should have done a better way to do this aHa

“w-what?? oH nO NO it’s not — it’s a caffeine pill!!”

yoongi’s mouth forms into a lil :O and he tilts his head, trying to register and find your face in the memory bank for his pit crew

“i just — i just noticed aND uh y’know it’s not only me?? it’s just that i- we know that you drink coffee a lot and you aren’t allowed to drink it when it’s an actual game and not practice, because it’s gonna make you pee-“

maybe you shouldn’t be talking about pee

this is the longest (one-sided) conversation you’ve ever had with yoongi without him walking away and you’re talking about body fluids!!!!

it’s okay it’s cool

he probably knows what you’re talking about anyway

everything he wears is heavy-duty fire-proof material from his undies to his racing suits aND so does the pit crew

it’s gonna make you sweat a lot!! it was a given

yoongi doesn’t drink much water in the first place and he only gulps down liters of it when he’s officially done with his race

he doesn’t drink coffee before an actual race either because it just does these things to him

caffeine makes him focused but the particular one that he favors makes him tOO focused

and also coffee makes you pee more than any other!!

plus yoongi swears too that he’s nEVER peed in his racing suit ever and he’s gonna stand by that no matter how much stoopid questions he gets or teases

“point is, you can be a liTTLE bit out of yourself when you don’t have your fix a-and i mean absolutely nO offense yoongi sir aha mmmmh just!! here!! a caffeine pill!!”

he’s looking down on your palm and he takes into detail that the pill was lying snugly on a bed of pREMIUM tissue paper

hmmm this looks like those soft tissues from his hotel room???? is it just him???

you put it there not oNLY for presentation, but also because giving it to him with your bare hands that are gettin sweaty with how nervous you are is unhygienic

god ur struggles

“jungkook is this tissue tOO crumpled?? like does it look intentional crumple, or like an effortless cUte crumple???”

“are u out of your fucking mind?? oh my gOD no it’s too crumpled!! let me do it”

y/n!!

that’s it!! that’s your name!! you’re y/n!!

yoongi can’t believe that there’s this girl from his pit crew that is giving him a caffeine pill because-

“this is nice of you. very considerate.”

yo

did yoongi just talk to you

u have officially lowered your goals in life!! you can nOW perish peacefully knowing that yoongi has said something else to you besides “thanks” :D

he snatches your lil napkin bed and takes the pill and your other hand is a bit lonely because you’re holding a bottle of his special water and-

did he just

did he just swallow a pill dry

people who swallow their pills dry SCARE YOU

they are to be feared honestly

however there are exceptions hehe

tHIS ONLY MAKES YOU WANT TO KNOW YOONGI MORE!!

although you really can’t

not when you can literally hear your crew chief’s footsteps towards you and you’re just smiling through :D

you don’t know a park jimin

no you don’t aha :D

sometimes denial is the key!!!

“y/n, go do some stretches with your crew.”

sometimes u really really just wanna rattle jimin back and forth

he’s a grumpy crew chief!! a strict one!! one that wouldn’t let an ice cream man give out treats, because in his words, it is completely unnecessary

vernon got assigned as ice cream man and his feelings were HURT

jimin’s exceptional, no doubt about that

his strategies coincide well with yoongi’s and it contributes to the winning formula

what you just don’t like is how he’s grumpy with almost everyone else, but he’s extra grumpy with you

you offered a piece out of your packet of gummy bear ones

jimin just stared at you up and down, eyes narrowed as he looks as if he’s been offended big-time

“are you trying to woo me with your citric acid obsession?”

woo wHAT

yOU WHAT????

“jIMIN-“

and then he crossed his arms across his chest as you’re trying to reason out that you were just being considerate and nOt trying to woo him!!!

“aish. if you’re gonna woo me, atleast go for a proper attempt. a granola bar. that’s good. i’m gonna deny you anyway, but atleast that one isn’t laughable.”

you cannot

you seriously cannot comprehend wHY is jimin like this

he has this habit of clicking his tongue and shaking his head and THEN walking away

people walking away from you is a trend apparently

“but jimin i already stretched aND warmed up today”

he hums at that but you have a feeling that your words are just going through one ear and out of the other

you just love being chastised by your crew chief in front of yoongi <3

“with jungkook?”

wait who is jungkook

yoongi suddenly has more interest into this conversation because uh who is jungkook and why does the name itself kinda intimidate him

he’s kinda familiar with the name but nOT the face

:(

is this your thing

is your thing giving out caffeine pills?? this is just a normal occurrence and he shouldn’t feel this AWED at the sentiment??

“yeah!! and we did both our warm-ups!! tWICE if i might add!!”

jimin knows about jungkook tho

he knows how you’re best friends and opponents in a technical sense

he’s a little wary of that still but he guesses that it just can’t be helped???

there’s a lot of talk on the field with how great jungkook is as a pit crew member anyway!! they were surely a bit confused too on with how the two of you were separated but it’s for the better (?) anyways considering that you’re both aces

good for hobi

good for yoongi

bAd for jimin!!! and you’re his favorite

his favorite when it comes to scolding even when you particularly haven’t done anything

tough love

“.... hmmmm”

“mmmmmh”

yoongi feels like he has to add on to the conversation because he’s gotta admit that it’s somehow entertaining

he’ll ask jimin later about this jungkook guy anyway :))

“i didn’t see it though. do it again.”

smile thru da pain :)))

yoongi placed second in this race though and although that isn’t entirely bad, he is still kinda upset because that just means he’s second best :((

hobi placed first!!

he’s all cool about it and yoongi doesn’t wanna be bitter but he iS mad at himself for not getting pole position for this race

so for every race for the season, there’s three qualifying sessions to determine your position in the grid!! if it all adds up and you’re the one with the fastest times, then u become the pole-sitter

acquiring the pole position aka being the pole-sitter puts a driver at an advantage because they’re first in line!! aND they don’t have to weave in between cars at the back and fight for getting ahead

it’s cool that’s cool :))) yoongi’s got pole position more than a handful times anyway :))) he’s just giving out chances for the others :))) 

he’s kind like that :)))

[ yoongi is bURNING in the inside tho ]

there’s what?? like eight more races in this whole championship season?? yeah he could make this work no pressure

the caffeine pill,,, however.,.,.,,

“well?? how did it work out??”

jungkook is beyond impatient now because you keep getting into telling the story of how it went with yoongi but you jUST kept getting distracted

it’s only fair because yah the race just ended and you and jungkook didn’t opt to go back to the hotel with your teams so you could eat out from the stalls here after a really tiring day!! you deserve it!!

“okAy so like i was really nervous, yeah?? so i walked and then oOOOOOH CHEESY BEEF FRIES!! jungkook look omg cHEESy beef fries!! hold on lemme-”

you are aging jungkook and he swears by that

“nO no!! here!!! i already bought them!!! can you just oH my god!! y/n please stand STILL”

he’s holding you still with both of his hands grounding your shoulders wHILE his hands are still holding up his food and drinks and none of them are spilling?

that’s: talent

he’s been antsy ever since you texted him before the race started that you’re diving in head-first without a proper plan!! he was writing an elaborate plan in bullet points on his dotted notebook and tHen you’re telling him that you’re gonna dive straight in??

first of all how dare u

second of all pLEASE just tell him how it went

“five bites of fries, two minutes of telling how it went.”

ok he is a really great negotiator and also you’re already shoving like three in your mouth so this is more favorable than what he bargained for

jungkook does find you a pain in the ass sometimes like there is nO denying that absolutely

but he can attest to the fact that you are a GREAT storyteller

like damn your emotions?? hand gestures?? how you’d eVEN switch positions so he could get visuals of how it went down?? perfection like so good that jungkook feels so flustered because omg?? so tHIS is why you have a crush on yoongi aha

you’re not gonna lie,, jungkook sometimes decreases your lifespan for a solid seven months at the least

but you’re lying too when you say that he isn’t a dAMN good listener/audience

his doe eyes get even bigger and he is dang expressive and he’s never insincere and doesn’t exaggerate tOO much to the point that it’s obnoxious!!

and he doesn’t pick any story of yours!! he is vERY genuine!!!

[ sputters while drinking his iced tea ] “jimin cockblocked aGAIN???”

[ crouches to the floor when you went out to the mall alone because he didn’t want to and ended up meeting owen wilson, the guy who voiced lightning mcqueen ] “WHAT??????? YOU WHAT????? YOU’RE TELLING ME WHAT???????”

[ sobs because he didn’t meet owen wilson ] “i’m just so *wails* i’m just rEGRETTING every *heaves* single decision i made a-and *fans tears* i should’ve just went with you :(((”

[ giggles and shrieks continuously for ten minutes and keeps hugging you because you bought him those big boots that you call romper stompers for his birthday ] “you did nOT!! oh my god they’re really mine?? MINE??? you’re telling me that these are mINE now??? omg omg i could die rn y/n i swear i LOVE YOU!!! i’m not gonna step on u i swear :(( thank you thank you :(((”

yoongi couldn’t be anymore smiley

like sure enough, his mind should only stay in the game when he is in the game

he can’t think about what he wants for dinner later that night or let his thoughts drift because otherwise, hE’S the one that’s going to drift

but maybe

just maybe when he’s at the last stretch and hobi’s already crossed the finish line and the closest driver behind him is like lmao a kilometer away

he just can’t help thinking about you!! and the napkin bed you made for his caffeine pill!! and how he doesn’t get why he’s never talked to you before because like you’re cute n all :D

he’s never seen a pit crew member talk back to jimin like that before and yeah sure you’re playful but not overstepping it ya know

“so jimin,,, y/n, amirite?”

jimin’s a lil bit confused because uhhh yoongi has never talked to him

about you before but he’s not that bothered

“... yeah?”

...

...

“jimin this is the part where you tell me about y/n”

“how was i supposed to know? you only said her name!! is that like a signal or wHAT??”

“couldn’t i be anymore obvious??”

the bottom line is that yoongi got a crash course when it came to you and he couldn’t be any more grateful for jimin

he’s also confirmed that jungkook isn’t ur boyfriend but that’s kinda debatable because jimin added an “i’m not eNTIRELY sure though” and yoongi hates him for it!!

there’s just something about yoongi that you can’t shake off

and you don’t wanna fall that deep because it’s just a crush!! just a harmless crush and u know you aren’t probably gonna stand a chance :((

although you’re just gonna keep that to yourself because kook will probably lecture you for five minutes and THEN smack you in the head because you’re bringing yourself down again

jungkook knows you’re a natural ace like c’mon yoongi’s just gonna be a piece of cake!!

yeah sure yoongi doesn’t initiate conversation with your or barely holds eye contact and can barely remember your name, only recalls you as part of his team, and can be ignoring the things you’re doing for him bUT I MEAN THAT’S NOT ALWAYS THE DETERMING FACTORS, RIGHT??right??

pls say right

jungkook’s convincing himself as much as you’re convincing yourself that u have a chance with yoongi

you can’t help it :((

you love that smile!! that smile when he knows how good he’s done that he automatically could tell that he’d be getting an extra point since he’s the one who was the fastest on that lap!or that laugh when he pops out a cork of champagne once again and he’s getting the hang of it

his calm demeanor looks so cute even when he isn’t even doing anything in particular and how it could be so hot especially when his stare’s just rigid

you’ve been in celebratory going out parties in bars with your team to know that yoongi’s just boisterous and chatty when he gets drunk

he even gets cLINGY to whoever’s sitting beside him and it’s usually jimin and he can even make jimin yield to having oNE more shot with him :((

in meetings too!!!

yoongi’s personal style is just mostly black and sometimes when he’s feeling spicy, he’d add in some random pastels or perhaps even a small nEON detail

his cheeks tooyou just wanna kiss them so bad :(((

they’re so plump and full whenever he pouts and smiles and you have to gRIP your fist just to get rid of the l*nging in your system

YOONGI HAS PIERCED EARS TOO

MULTIPLE PIERCINGS!!!you’ve never seen him wear earrings tho and that’s saddening

jewelry, most especially on drivers, is just a big no-no because just in cAse the driver catches on fire or not, it’s still a big hazard

you once saw yoongi walking in the hallway just as you were about to exit the elevator to go to ur hotel room and he was wearing a wATCH

u almost went feral goddamn

you see yoongi again after your caffeine pill advance on him? a necklace, maybe? those thick chain bracelets like the ones jungkook wears? him wearing rings? it could be a blinged-out diamond band or a heart-shaped plastic ring from a kinder egg and you would sTILL GO FERAL

“i just wish — j-just wish that red string lovers exist in real life, y’know, kook?? do you get what i’m saying?”

jungkook wishes that was a real thing too

you’re just a bit vulnerable because u have some alcohol in your system

a little bit emotional

meanwhile jungkook is just straight up bland and is up for no fun

three-drink jungkook is boring

you should see five-drink jungkook!! hE’S A WILD ONE that could backflip with a 70% success rate of not throwing up after

“i do. i wish that red string lovers do exist. kind of like that movie, kimi no nawa. i love that movie.”

...

“... jungkook. omg a-are you saying i should like, tie a red string on my pinky and tHEN on yoongi’s pinky!! in this way, i could always be connected to him and we’re like never gonna stay away from each other!!”

...

“i believe that would be called stalking.”

“no i meant fIGURATIVELY”

this three-drink jungkook is no fun

what you’re gonna do is get him to drink more because the motto for pit crew members is “drink as if it’s your last because it IS!!!”

drinking kinda messes up workout routines and the semi-strict diet the members are put on to ensure you’re all strong and enduring

so drinking is just reserved for wins or when the crew chief allows it and MAYBE just maybe when you and kook decide to get a lil sip and sharing a can won’t hurt :D

“okay, okay. another one!! drink another one!!”

you have to physically make jungkook drink because he doesn’t wanna hold the shot glass claiming that it’s too dirty and before he gets iffy even more, you just bring the glass to his lips and even put a hand underneath his chin because you are tHAT great of a friend

sometimes you just need to credit yourself for being a really great best friend to jungkook

four-drink jungkook is a BUNNY

he’s starting to ascend to his five-drink state and therefore through the process, he’s crinkling his nose more

the nose crinkle and the smile that highlights his two front teeth has always been in effect but this one’s just more persistent

he doesn’t hop like a bunny tho or like even stand because that’s six-drink dance bot jungkook’s moves

instead

he just-

cHOMPFS

jungkook’s just biting down on your shoulder SOFTLY

the same gentleness of a golden retriever with an egg on its mouth!!he’s not nibbling or biting down or anything!! he’s just oMPH :D

there’s no rhyme or reason to why he’s doing this and you’re unsure either lmao you’ve told him before what he does drunk when he’s sober and he goes?? lol what i do tHAT???

you don’t mind honestly

you’re thankful that you’re wearing a black hoodie and it’s made with a fluffy cotton material!! it’s a win-win and u can even feel jungkook smiling

the alcohol isn’t hitting you JUST yet but u. r aware that you’re getting a tad more chatty now and then suddenly you’re telling jungkook a summary of this sugar stars episode in which they were supposed to make cupcakes for this luxury jewelry brand and in oNE of the cupcakes there should be like a necklace worth thousands of dollars bUT THEY FORGOT IF THEY ALREADY PUT IT IN THE BATCH AND-

“hey, is this guy bothering you, y/n?”

you hear a velvety voice interrupting you and it’s oddly familiar

said person extends his hand to put on your shoulder and you kinda jolt at the sudden contact and it’s just goosebumps“.... yoongi?”

:O

yoongi’s on your left side and u could clearly see him nowhE LOOKS LIKE HE’S ABOUT TO SQUARE UP

i mean truth be told he wASN’T supposed to be here because after placing 3rd he just didn’t wanna go part because for wHAT and he wanted to go to bed instead

but them jimin called him and asked if he was sure because like... the entire team is here and the owner of the bar is a FAN and all drinks are on the house so,,,

he jUST got here and while he was looking for jimin, the first thing he sees is the back of your head (he’s memorized it hehe) and a guy bITING DOWN ON YOUR SHOULDER and yours hands are gesturing and shit

and so he’s beyond confused to see you confused over seeing him all confused and perhaps protective

“yoongi!!”

u practically squeal and ur not gonna hide that

although he just ignores that because he’s focused on some more pressing matters at hand

“man, seriously, what the fuck? can you just back off-“

yoongi is literally about to pull jungkook away from you because up to now this dude is NOT reading the room and the fact that he is 2 seconds away from decking him

“no nO yoongi!! it’s okay lol he’s my best friend! he’s not-“

there’s a delay on words sinking to jungkook’s ears so he’s just now reacting lmao

“mfhsIR thif if mY EMOFYONAL FUPPORT MFFSHOULDER”

jungkook’s angrily lifting his eyes but not his face with it so he’s-

oH THAT’S YOONGI :D

“this is my friend who’s kinda drunk and bITES my shoulder when he’s drunk aha jungkook!! say hi, gguk”

“hI YOOMGIIII!!! i’m jungmkook :D”

kook takes a quick second to lift himself off your shoulder to give an eager wave to yoongi

oH that face is familiar

jungkook?

jungkook jungkook oH THIS IS THE JUNGKOOK HE ASKED JIMIN ABOUT

whew

honestly he was kinda scared because when yoongi got a closer look when he was fuming, jungkook looked like a big buff guy and he was a little scared because-oh jungkook just went back to biting your shoulder ://

“i thought you weren’t gonna come?”

“i thought i was gonna fight sOMEONE”

hehe

you can’t help but feel a lil bit happy that omg yoongi cares for u

and although he’s mistakened jungkook as a pervert whose modus operandi is to bite at shoulders, it’s still the thought that counts!!!!

your right shoulder that has kook attached to it feels indifferent and your left shoulder that yoongi touched for a second is ON FIRE

be still, be calm. be still, be calm. be still, be — OMG YOONGI IS SITTING BESIDE YOU FUCK

“it’s jungkook, right?”

he, for sure, knows that it is jungkook alright but he just wants to ask u know

just to be sure

although you’re kinda oblivious to the fact that he’s directing the question to you more than to jungkook himsELF bc you’re very much swayed by his gummy smile

“yeah!! he’s jungkook, alright :D”

“this might be a stupid question to ask but uh i’ve just never seen him oR like maybe it might just be my memory but jungkook’s in our team, right??? or like nO?”

“o-oh aHA about that yoongi,, sir,, actually jungkook isn’t in our team, ya know? but he DOES support us and is like whoosh a fAN of you :))”

he is having too much fun with this one

“really? but i saw him in the box before, with you, i think? lol u silly goose if you have a boyf-“

“jUNGKOOK ISN’T MY BOYFRIEND! he never was!! yoongi trust me i am very single right now i mean it!! 100%”

“are you sure? like-“

“he’s just my best friend ever since college and we’re not a thing i sWEAR!! you see him in the box sometimes because he just needs someone to buy him nachos from the stalls aND he’s a pit stop crew member for jung hoseok-“

you’d like to think that you are diffusing this situation very well

“-and that tOTALLY doesn’t matter because pfft?! i don’t even know jung hoseok like wHAAAAAT does he uhm race or sth?? whew am i right lmao can i get an amen? ᵖˡˢ ˢᵃʸ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ᵖˡˢ”

yoongi already knows this bit of information and his eye does twitch at the mention of hoseok like how mr. bean is with mozambique but it’s COOL seeing you flustered is getting a really cheesy smile out of him

“do you rap?”

“no but do you want me to”

yoongi snorts and giggles at that and meanwhile you are getting THE nervous sweats because obviously you weren’t prepared for this

damn it :( you should’ve just kept jungkook sober so he could “wingman the fUCK out of you” in his own words

the only thing you could do that’s the closest to rapping is have jungkook beatbox in the background while u go bow chicka wowow bow cHICKA WOW :((

“you’re funny.”

yoongi’s still kinda dying at giggling throughout the whole interaction but he really means it sincerely ok

QUICK IS THAT A COMPLIMENT OR AN INSULT

“thanks :))”

fUck it you should’ve just said a one-liner or something, not a timid thanks or would that be trying too hard

you are getting too panicked and nervous now and the only out you see is-

“ggukie!! you want another drink?”

bless up

bless jungkook’s soul for immediately agreeing and before you know it, you’re lifting another shot glass to his lips with a hand underneath his chin

you’re gonna help him with his hangover tomorrow because he’s saving yOUR ass by easing the tension of how pATHETICALLY nervous you are with yoongi

yoongi’s persevering too because this jungkook guy has hands.. what?? does he drink his water from a formula bottle??? DOES HE NEED MILK

chile why is he getting jealous

it’s not like he’s become fond of you nor got attached to this girl that gave him a caffeine pill placed on a napkin bed after much observation of him and the sentiment behind it just makes him mushy

lol

couldn’t be him :))

:)

...

....

SIKE IT’S HIM THAT’S HIM :(((

“YOOOOOOONGIIIIIIIIIII!!!”

oh god 

oh no

it’s a drunk jimin :(

a drunk, happy, gIGGLY JIMIN

“Y/NNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!”

you’re quite surprised at the sight because uH you’re used to jimin the grumpy crew chief

nOt jimin the giggly person who’s giggling at the little rainbows ur bracelet makes when the light hits it and who’s complimenting your hoodie sO HARD

mom come pick me up im scared

“y/n O-M-G where did you get those earrings because they r the bomb dot COM”

“jimin what did u drink because i am LOVING it”

“a pomelo gin mix or like fOUR of them.”

yoongi answers for jimin because he knows all too well

woop jimin’s hugging him now and his grip is tight o-okay i guess i’ll... keep you... still?

it’s not jimin’s fault :( he just likes pretty drink i mean could u blame him :(((

“aish those pack a punch for sure. you could barely taste the gin because of the juice-“

“-but it gets you drunk nonetheless no matter how much you drink it.”

:D

:D

you and yoongi are straight up CONNECTING right now vibing if u will

“yeah and some light it up on fire then take it out so it would taste smoother and seamless!!”

that’s it he’s had enough yoongi will propose to you rIGHT NOW he thought he was the only one who knew that fact

oR KNEW THE DIFFERENCE

or knew the reason for it that isn’t just to make it look cool

oh man you feel so sorry for pegging yoongi as just one of those “all beers taste the same” dudes in senior year :’’’)

“jUNGKOOOOOOOK!!!”

jimin kinda ruins the moment by opening his mouth being all excited as he points excitedly to look at who’s beside you

“YOOOOOOOOOONGIIIIIII!!!!”

“oh oh! shh!!! you’re not supposed to be here but it’s ok jungkooooook!!! i’ll just close my eyes!!!”

“h-hey guys *hiccup* have you seen jimin? because i can’t see him!!”

that’s not... that’s not how it works...

jungkook is giggling so hard and jimin’s gonna roll over anytime if it isn’t for yoongi holding him

“omg jungkook’s earrings look like windchimes :D”

“y/n omg jIMIN’S RIGHT! they do look like windchimes :D”

“i bet they also sOUND LIKE WINDCHIMES :D” jimin’s leaping out of yoongi’s hold eagerly and the both of u just know that this is gonna go bad

he’s about to faceplant because he’s slipping the moment he decided to break free

it’s a good thing you’re catching him and jimin’s embracing you now while

his legs are slack on the floor and jungkook the drunk dumbass thought it was an emergency

and in times of emergency apparently, jungkook’s move is try and hop on your back for a piggyback ride“okay, okay, time to get off y/n now!!”

yoongi chuckles as he pries jimin off of you and onto himself instead

jungkook sTILL won’t give up into having a piggyback ride from you hmp

“hey, wanna split an uber?

”you like that idea very much :D“who’s gonna sit with them at the back, though?”

“you can give me your number and i’ll volunteer tribute :))”:D

that’s good

this is good

yeah sure yoongi might’ve had to sit in the middle of jimin and jungkook that are messes

and has to endure it when young, wild and free by wiz khalifa came on aND

jimin went owo “young sound like yoongi omg”

and jungkook went and followed and the whole lyrics were yoongi wild and yoongi free

but that’s ok

that’s okay!!!

he had to say goodbye to you two floors early because that’s where jungkook’s room is and u need to tuck him in

the most he could do was walk you to the door while having a sleepy jimin use him as a crutch

all worth it though :))

“thanks for tonight, yoongi :))”

and there’s just this tentative silence because the both of you kinda felt dejected because you didn’t want tonight to end, truthfully

you press a tentative lil kiss on his cheek and

:O

“good night.”

yoongi’s cheek is tingling aHHHHHH HE’S ABOUT TO BURST

that’s so precious

YOU’RE SO PRECIOUS

alcohol doesn’t fix everything bUT ON RARE OCCASIONS IT COULD BE A BRIDGE

jungkook woke up with a killer headache because apparently when you and yoongi weren’t looking, jimin let him have a sip of his drink and he was immediately :O

but you did lessen it to an amount!!!!!

he could barely register what happened last night but what he did remember is yOONGI

just yoongi

aND THAT MEANS HE COULDN’T REMEMBER UR LITTLE CHEEK KISS :D

eventually you’d tell him but not now

jungkook’s all smiles when you were telling him on how you tucked him to bed and eVEN caved into giving him a piggyback ride

your explanation of you making him drink a full bottle of water and then some more is the reason to why he felt bloated and every time he moved in his deep sleep he was just sLOSHING around

although you didn’t get to do his skincare routine on him because he likes tapping his face

and tapping jungkook’s face while he’s drunk is like choosing death because he’d think that there were little ants on his face and he’d freak the fUck out

so you just took a makeup wipe to get the dirt off his face and put on a face mask!! minimal effort!! maximum results!! efficiency :D

yours and jimin’s dynamic is chANGING FOR THE BETTER he’s getting warmer to you now!!!

you did tease him one time about the pomelo gin drink and he glared at you

but then you whispered to his ear

“if it’s between your choice of pomelo pink gin and yoongi’s whiskey? i’d pick pink gin all the way :D”

jimin gasped out loud

friendship? bUILDING

you and yoongi??

safe to say that you’re on the closer side :D

i mean tECHNICALLY you aren’t on the commitment boat yet or like… you haven’t had a date yet…. or held hands…..

but you’re getting there!!! iT’S A PROCESS

you’ve always been his supporter in the sidelines but now u r a full-pledged cheerleader for him in the moments that you aren’t tending to his car or tending to work

practice sessions are held starting two days before the race

it’s literally just for practice and it’s for the driver to get familiar and to test out some things that may need to be tweaked furthermore

this is the only time the drivers get to drive the cars besides the actual race itself

and the race is held on sunday!!!!

two practice sessions on friday that last one and a half hours each

and a final practice session on saturday that lasts for an hour

obviously you’re there

bUT when you’re not in use, you just completely revert to cheering for yoongi by the barrier!!!“GO YOONGS!!!!!”

jimin sends you a look to keep it down because even though he has his headphones on he could sTILL hear you

you shut up of course but not without waving your hands in the air whenever yoongi’s car comes into your view :D

in qualifying sessions too!!! these are to determine the driver’s grid positions in the actual race

and eVERY driver’s goal is to earn pole position, the front-most and most advantageous position from the starting line!!!

pole position doesn’t automatically mean that you’re the winner but it does help the driver to ace at that closer!!!

you shut up in qualifying sessions because in fact, you’re nervous too there are six more races to this whole season and each one is important because yoongi and hobi?? they’re just neck-to-neck with their scores and although yoongi’s on the lead, he could nEVER BE COMPLACENT

yoongi’s pole-sitter undoubtedly with his performance and then could you breathe a sigh of relief :))

he’s stripping his racing suit slightly and by that he means taking off the velcro and getting the zipper undone and taking off his balaclava and

oBVIOUSLY his helmet

fact: race suits are extremely light but are sO HOT

yeah sure there’s been upgrades to it and that it has cooling properties now but u can’t exactly feel that when you’re gonna be in it for atleast an hour doing a proper race

his routine lately is going sTRAIGHT to you after he finishes whatever he’s doing

“you didn’t cheer me on :((“

“that’s because i was too busy rooting for you in my mind :))”

“well then root for me with your mOUTH”

“what”

“wHAT??”

yoongi’s just being a little petty and cranky, that’s all

it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t give much affection, he automatically doesn’t want to rECEIVE it :(((

admittedly, you’re kinda cutting off from the physical affection with yoongi lately because jungkook quizzed you and you’re pretty sure that you were in a default :O after

“who texts first?”

“me!! our schedules don’t exactly match up because he has a different trainer than our pit crew does but i just wanna wake up extra early to send him a text :))”

“who sleeps earlier?”

“yoongi!! lmao he loves resting whenever he can aND he even brings this diffuser with him whenever we gor from hotel to hotel!!”

“who goes to who more frequently?”

“oOoOhhh i love visiting yoongi!!! whenever i surprise him he just looks so shocked and eventually it sinks in to him”

“who exerts more effort?”

“kook i — oH.,..,.”

of course jungkook is so happy for you because look at you!! you went from admiring yoongi from afar to hanging out with him actively and even going so far as to have him kiss your cheek once!!

but no matter how supportive he is, he jus wants to be as realistic too because he doesn’t want you hurt

yes he admires how you are with him but like mAYBE you’re far in too deep and yoongi is not on the same level

and so you just came to the conclusion that maybe you were just being too enthralled in it to not see that yoongi doesn’t find the concept of you

and him together as desired as you found it to be

:((

and so maybe you’ve been detaching yourself lately

you stay in bed sleeping for as long as you’d like, and the only alarm clock you have is jimin ringing the bell on your door to let you know that training

was to start

jimin quickly catched on to what you were doing because he’s seeing less of you around yoongi??? surprisingly???

and he just couldn’t keep it in to not know what was happening so he asked jungkook

then jungkook was positively surprised and happy because jimin???? coming to him personally to ask???? omg he is gonna spill of course and so jimin was like eh… it’s the least i could do i guess….

five rings of the doorbell to wake you up

seven rings to let you know that training’s gonna start in ten minutes

ten rings to oPEN YOUR DAMN DOOR

you didn’t linger around yoongi unnecessarily and you weren’t sending those specifically niche templates you see on instagram that make you laugh

he doesn’t receive the “you’re a daughter of an astronaut and a swimmer and you’re not sure which aesthetic to pick because you’re too dizzy from accidentally inhaling chlorine in the big-ass man-made pool since you intern at nasa and u just need to lie down” lookbooks :(

he thought of it as nothing at first because eh they’re just little things!!! he barely notices anyway

WRONG

yoongi feels so devastated because why :(( won’t :(( you just :(( hUG HIM OUT OF THE BLUE LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO

these days he feels so on edge because aHa!! anytime now, y/n’s gonna hug me :D

but then you dON’T

yoongi put on extra perfume because you like burrowing your nose to his neck whenever you hug him and wHY aren’t you hugging him

wait maybe it’s the perfume that’s throwing you off??

nevermind he’s gonna buy another hundred-dollar bottle of a different perfume it’s ok nO WORRIES and sometimes you don’t join the team breakfast and yoongi’s all lost

because hMmM??? i got u these pancakes a-and i already put the butter and the syrup….. why aren’t you here…

you’re with jungkook and his team knows about your friendship and how it came to be and they’re all just eH it’s okay y/n’s cool anyways :))

hobi’s so kind

jungkook sits in the same table as hobi and therefore that means you sit beside kook and u have no choice because he WILL insist

not because you’re his friend but also because he’s too lazy to stand and get another serving so he’ll just steal some from your plate

hobi eVEN offers to refill your glass with orange juice because his is gone too and he’s gonna get more anyway :))

yoongi can’t go over it though and he’s just wallowing because first, hoseok’s aiming for his title that he wants to retain, and nOW HOSEOK’S COMING FOR HIS Y/N???

ok his might be a little bit of a reach because he hasn’t asked you out yet but he iS getting there

he swears that he feels so lost without u :((

and so yoongi’s persistent and he vouched his day-off to be aligned with your gym day aaaand he’s here now :D

he’s right behind you!!

“hiii.”

yoongi squeezes in on the space left at your side

well you dIDN’T expect yoongi today clearly“hi pls back up a little i mAY accidentally kick you :D”

you’re doing pull-ups at the moment and you’re getting the hang of doing them!! even if this used to be the bane of your existence in your workout program and you’d sell your soul just for jungkook to call you and cry on the phone and pretend he stubbed his toe or something to get out of training

so tHAT’S yoongi’s greeting??? :((

“i haven’t seen you lately”

“hmm? i see you everyday, yoongs”

“rEALLY??”

you’re only discovering now that while doing pull-ups, you can aLSO make and maintain conversation!!

yoongi’s a bit sarcastic because your full attention isn’t on him and he guesses that it’s a given when you’re working out bUt are you even hearing what he’s saying :((

“doesn’t feel like it, though.”

ok that one made you falter a little bit

“how can you say??”

he practically huffs at that and that also goes noticed

how can you not know that???

he’s a patient person but with you, he just gets sO eager and whiney and now he just can’t cope!!!

just when he thought you were finally go down because you were slowing your movements, you were oNLY doing that just to regain your momentum for another set AND!!!

fine then :))

yoongi’s jumping up and his hands wrap around the higher bar snugly, his body pressed to yours

he’s so close oh my god yOONGI’S SO CLOSE TO YOU

you’re suspended in air and a bit breathless and yoongi’s just hanging slack and he’s about to burst into a smile because uH success!!!

his lips look so kISSABLE and his cheeks are plump and his eyes are v enchanting and wHEW you’re sweating at this point and it’s nOt from working out

yoongi only tilts his head as he earns the reaction he wanted and more :D

“who’s your trainer? sehun?”

“y-yeaHh???”

“m’kay.”

he’s not content just yet and for a split second, yoongi tilts his face to the side of yOUR face and his lip barely brush to the shell of your ear

“i’ll pull you out of this one. eat lunch with me.” the sound of yoongi dropping back down to the floor makes you jOLT because oh.,., oh that rEALLY DID JUST HAPPEN HUH

what a menace

your heart is too weak for yoongi

you are sO whipped :’’’)

so whipped that you cave into jungkook’s demands

jungkook’s aLWAYS been your sticker guy

he just has stickers… that he either makes or acquires but he isn’t telling where from… and either gives or sells them to u

he has this label maker too that could print your name on or whatever you want to put on your stuff

he would even input little stars or little hearts or even lil dinosaurs if you want him to!!!

you don’t know how and why but wHEREVER you go, jungkook always has stickers on him

AND THIS IS REALLY SPECIAL OK

you specifically told jungkook to curate like a ten-pack out of the things you told him about yoongi

he has the reigns aS LONG as he thinks (and it better be) that it screams min yoongi!!

it’s just that you wanna give gifts to yoongi and you don’t need aNY occasion just to give presents

you were deep in thought and your head blanked and then went…

stickers…. get him stickers

snickers???

…. stickers ….

sNEAKERS???

…. stickers dUMB BITCH i said stickers!!!! …..

lol u love ur mind

and when you said that to jungkook, he fell both honored AND pressured like what if yoongi decides not to like you anymore because of your (his) sticker choices

what then

damn ur wrong for this

jeez jungkook’s becoming the backbone of your blossoming relationship ://

sigh but it’s cool,, jungkook’s used to becoming a fundamental part to society

jungkook’s ringing your bell so early in the morning because he just got done last night with completing his collection!! and you iMMEDIATELY need to see it as per his insistence

ok they r pretty cool

there’s yoongi’s name in a really cool yet sophisticated font that just screamed yoongi to you!!

there’s Agust D in a big bold formal font!! you remember that story of how yoongi was born and raised briefly in daegu then they had to move and he misses his hometown

he was about to use Agust D as his name when he first tried out for racing but the name itself made so many heads turn so he was just,,, too spicy,,,

i’ll make it suga

OMG YOUR INITIALS

jungkook’s wild for that one but omg you’re giggling because wow u like that

“clouds?? and the sky’s purple??”

“i think eVERYBODY likes clouds”

“well some pilots don’t”

“what makes them think that clouds like them back?”

wait

“a cat??… flipping me off???”

“lol ok funny story but yoongi flipped me off once LMAOOO”

“… he did what”

“i’ll tell u the story later but this, THIS — okay i don’t know if it’s just me, but yoongi looks like a cat, y’know?? like i sWEAR i could see cats in him, and then i see him in cats. do you get me??”

“gguk-“

“and he wears headbands, right? LOOK I EVEN DREW HIM A HEADBAND!! :D”

ok you aren’t gonna lie

this ten-pack goes pretty fucking hard if you may say so

“how much do i owe you, kook?”

“that would be fifty dollars :D”

“fifty wait wHAT?? FIFTY DOLLARS?? WHAT??? JUNGKOOK SAY SIKE”

psh atleast it was worth a shot

“fine. tHIRTY dollars.”

“THIRTY DOLLARS?????”

you know for a fact that these ten stickers aREN’T worth tHIRTY DOLLARS

the highest jungkook’s ever charged you is $10 for a pack of ninety-nine he even took one from the sticker booklet and he only said that after he sold it to u

you both know that these aren’t $30 :((

it’s always a take it or leave it situation because you know hobi is a sucker for stickers :((

“…. fine.” you pull thirty dollars from your wallet and that’s thirty dollars ur never gonna get back

jungkook’s a bit frazzled because wHAT

you actually gave him tHIRTY dollars??

they don’t even cOST _____ dollars!!!

it’s just awkward now when he tries to take back what he said

“… as a special gift.,.,. i’m gonna put them.,.,. in a nice envelope.,., that i uh doodled hearts on…”

quick if jungkook was a seller on redbubble, how many stars would you rate him

this better have a gREAT PAYOFF

spoiler alert: it did!!!

YOONGI LOVES THEM

“i mean i’m not saying you should put these on your race car because i kNOW every gram matters on it and like — sTICKERS!! u can stick them anywhere am i right :D”

:O

“do you uh,, do you like it? ˡᵃʸ ᶦᵗ ᵈᵒʷⁿ ᵍᵉⁿᵗˡʸ ᵒⁿ ᵐᵉ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ”

“y/n bABY ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? i love them sO MUCH!! like look aH OMG IT’S ME THAT’S — I’M SUPPOSED TO BE THIS CAT RIGHT???”

it went great!!!

above and beyond than what you expected

“thank you thank you dO YOU KNOW that you’re the best eVER :(((“

yoongi is so touched and awed over a pack of sTICKERS and it’s the little joys and you that make him the happiest

he’s so excited and pumped because he can’t pick on where to put them because they’re so precious and in the same time he doesn’t wanna use them because they’re tOO precious

yoongi’s about to kiss your cheek in the same time you wanna explain some of them and-

oh

he’s kissing the corner of your mouth

he only realizes when you squeak a little and he feels just so unexplainable with pure bliss that’s going through his body omg

and then yoongi pulls away to gauge your reaction because he was iNITIALLY gonna go for a cheek kiss but now that’s out of the bank because he wants more and-

oh god his cheeks are already on fire and tHIS WAS JUST A KISS TO THE CORNER OF YOUR MOUTH ACCIDENTALLY

it’s time to clear his throat and attempt to clear his mind“is uHhH sehun? 

sehun the trainer today?”

“yeaH it’s sehun…”

yoongi please say what i want you to say

pleathe

“i can — i cAN bail you out, if you want.,.. you uH ˢʰᶦᵗ do you wanna go karting with me?? like, right now??? it’s okay if you don’t wanna bUt i mean ᶠᵘᶜᵏ uhHhH-“

“yeah :)) i wanna go karting with you :))”

yoongi’s a mess and hE’S the nervous one now and he keeps scratching the back of his neck and he can’t maintain eye contact

he was about to explain that he’s not pressuring you wait dID YOU JUST SAY

“yes?? yeah?? oH that’s cool :D”

“do i need to get changed or-“

i mean you’re still in your workout leggings and a big black shirt jungkook has an aBUNDANCE of so u just stole one and tried out embroidery!!

it’s not the best aha

kinda ugly because it’s massive on you and u just take it off whenever the workout progresses to be harder

“no!! no!! don’t worry!! i’ll bring my backpack!! just take yourself, y/n, i’ll take care of you ʷᵃᶦᵗ ʷᵃᶦᵗ aHA!!! i’ll pack my shirts for you and water and like snacks omg i will be back in fIVE minutes!!!”

there’s kinda no protest since yoongi’s already dashing out of your hotel room and into his… and he’s leaving you alone and he swears that this will only take fIVE minutes

he’s a nervous wreck

but yOU are too

because wait

this is your first date!!

THIS COUNTS AS YOUR FIRST DATE

oh god you are gonna cOMBUST

it did take five minutes and perhaps even earlier!!

yoongi’s managed to even get a cap for you and sUNBLOCK

he has a driver hired and that’s kinda ironic because hE’S the driver but he doesn’t mind!!!

he’s sitting with you at the second row and you’ve never really properly been out the city ever since you got here because leisure trips aren’t exactly in your schedule

the buildings and the scenery are so cool and authentic and yoongi’s just staring at you as you stare out :(((

why are you so beautiful :(((

he’s envisioned taking you out for go-karting as your first date but nOT NOW

yoongi’s accidentally kissed you once on the corner of your mouth and he is now forever a changed man

his mind immediately went wOOP take y/n karting nOW

yoongi has a pinterest board with ideas for a first date

picnics are cute but there’s just so much aNTS and mosquitoes and flies would go to ur food when you turn away for a single second!!!

not to mention that he never checks the weather reports lmao

and grass with how soggy they could he eVEN if it didn’t rain???

disgusting

there’s always the option of dinner dates too

but sometimes they could be just SO boring and it’s a hit or miss whether you’d like the food because you don’t like overly fancy restaurants y’know

not to mention that they r overrated and the food isn’t that good to your taste bUT maybe that’s just you

he’s searched this place up a couple days ago and look!!! they have karts that have tWO seats on them

maybe he could rent out the place or pull out the “no it’s MIN YOONGI” card and he can drive you around and stuff :D

it’s postive to say that you’re vERY excited

“last one to cross the finish line buys the winner gifts for a whole week bYEEEE”

wait

that’s not-

tHAT’S NOT HOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO GO

apparently this is how yOU want it to go

the idea of yoongi driving you around in go-karts didn’t cross your mind once

you thought that you were gonna race against him and gOD ARE YOU SO EXCITED

you work on cars not drive in cars

the closest you’ve ever went to karting is going on bumper cars when jungkook took you to the amusement park!!!

it’s not racing because all you and kook did was bump the other as mUCH as possible to the point that the attendant was :/// are they ok

you know how to drive!!!

not to flex or anything but u dO have a professional driver’s license aha :D

although that doesn’t mean shit if ur kinda being honest

do you know how to drift a car like what they do in fast and the furious?? probably yes

jungkook was “breaking in” his car and he took you to the dealership with him and the car just felt so sTIFF and then he saw an empty parking lot….

and well you didn’t exactly STOP him because it isn’t your car

how could you stop someone from doing something that you yourself wANT to do

can you drive as fast as yoongi?? possibly yes

will it be as clean and as easy as he makes it to be?? heck no

yoongi’s chasing after you because oh you are dEDICATED now to racing against him

you’re even scrambling to put your race suit on iN FRONT OF HIM and it makes him all flustered as he tries to keep up by turning and putting on his own

“now don’t go easy on me, okay???”

yoongi’s a bit confused because what did u just say

not to fuel his ego or anything but madame he is a race car driver and it runs in his blood and the skill is in his name

he loves u (although he hasn’t said that yet) but he doesn’t want to ruin all your hopes and dreams

“just race as what you normally do and i’ll do my oWN!!! :D”

o-okay

you’re fast!!!as fast as go-karts could go!!!

you even turned down yoongi’s offer of a ten-second head start because wHERE’S THE FUN IN THAT

you are as happy and as giddy as you could ever be

yoongi, on the other hand, is worried a ton

you’re still a bit cautious when it comes to curves and to turning and

yoongi’s heart physically stops whenever you go through them because now you’re starting to pick up the pace around them

you’re getting used to the curves as you go on and you’re starting to maintain speed aND go through curves smoothly

he’s happy that you’re happy but god he’s just tERRIFIED okay

the list of what could possibly go wrong is evading his mind and for god’s sake, he’s a rACE CAR DRIVER HIMSELF!!!!! with custom top-speed cars and not go-karts!!! and not once did this list cross his mind whenever he drives

it’s just now hitting him that his profession’s dangerous

but your profession tOO is dangerous!!!

you may not be the driver put you are a part of the pit stop crew that tends to the car the driver’s racing!!!!

fIRES!!! pneumatic torque guns that are sO DANGEROUS!!!! wheels!!!!! gas!!!!! the driver himself when he’s in a rush and could possibly injure people along the way!!!!!

yoongi’s going down on a spiral so harsh that he didn’t even notice that not only did you pass him, but you’re also farther away from him sIGNIFICANTLY and before he knows it, you finished first!!

:D

“yoongs yoongs did you see me dID YOU SEE ME?????? :D”

you jump up to yoongi the moment he gets out of his kart and he instantly catches you and puts his hands underneath your thighs to secure you

your arms are even around his neck and you are incredibly close to yoongi more than you could ever wrap your head around

“mhmmmm ‘course i did!!”

he mindlessly hums and he just takes the time to see you up close like this before you realize and yelp later on because ur flustered

god yoongi’s never cared for anyone this much before

he’s falling in so hard

and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, right?

the moment you stop talking and gushing is the moment you realize that yoongi’s been awfully quiet all throughout, making you look down and-

yoongi’s kissing you

for rEAL this time

god he is putty in your hands and he’s extremely mushy

your lips are sO soft that he feels like he could die a happy man

you don’t know if your getting this adrenaline from the rush you got from winning or if it’s just the desire to kiss him for so long that’s fueling you but either way

yoongi feels a little tug on his roots and that instinctively makes him kiss you a little deeper

his kisses taste so gOOD TOO

although you DO need to breathe every once in awhile

:D

yoongi has the biggest gummy smile on his face and his legs feel like giving out because he feels sO HAPPY

you don’t fight the grin on your face either because wow :D that was just wHoosh!!! the suspense built up to it was incomparable oh god the tENSION before

he doesn’t mind losing then :)

“one more? :D”

oh god u are rEALLY whipped for yoongi

and this puts the two of you on ANOTHER level okay

he’s gotten more affectionate and showy almost

jimin’s kinda concerned because sometimes he sees yoongi smiling out of the blue and he’s just…. what is this guy ON…..

jungkook’s so excited and happy for you!!!

he keeps pushing that this wouldn’t have happened if it isn’t for his overpriced stickers

he wants you to tell him EVERYTHING

“yeah?? and tHEN WHAT????”

he is a little jealous however because not all your time is spent on hanging out with him anymore

or how a particular someone would be joining your hangouts from time to time aka yoongi being a third wheel

…. or maybe jungkook’s the third wheel ….

lol impossible :)))))))

[ jeon jungkook continiously tries to deny the truth to himself as always ]

he could be nosy yes bUT he’s always curious

although

“so he’s finally your boyfriend?”

he makes sense most of the times

now that you think about it.,.,.

wait

oh

wAIT YOONGI ISN’T YOUR BOYFRIEND

you aren’t sure either if there’s a label already set?????

because as far as you know, kissing someone doesn’t automatically translate to gREAT UR MY PARTNER IN LIFE NOW

oh no

it’s all good!!!

all good!!!!

you could open this up to yoongi later!!!

oh wait he’s busy

tomorrow then!!!!

uH nope he’s busy

the other day then :))

yoongi keeps getting busy and busy as he explains to the point that you’re in the same floor but you aren’t even seeing each other

he isn’t lying to you, right??

this isn’t about the kiss, right?????

goddamn you jungkook :((

the gears in your head are turning because oh god what if yoongi’s realized that he doesn’t want to commit to you

or that this is as long as a free netflix trial and your time’s up and you need to gO

it also feels oddly sketchy too because yoongi’s only become suddenly busy and almost unreachable ever since the kiss

it is, in fact, about the kiss

god yoongi himself feels that he’s an asshole

he’s suddenly second-guessing his decisions

he’s went down the rabbit hole of thinking that mAYBE you deserve better than him

his name’s kinda big and some rumors follow him too, whether it’s inside or outside the track

yoongi has a track record of ex-girlfriends as what the media wittily dubs it aND HE WON’T DENY IT OK

he does have some ex-girlfriends and his lovelife isn’t talked about within the team because they just treat rumors as rumors and it’s yoongi’s life anyway

but what if news breaks out that you and him are dating

and his track record is brought up once again

aND NOT JUST THAT

because yoongi also feels like he isn’t worthy enough for you :((

he could be bland and too blunt at some points

as opposed to you :(( who’s sometimes too kind and always tries to understand situations and won’t also take shit from anyone

he’s not as spontaneous or charismatic as jungkook

he can’t be as spontaneous as jungkook who’s willing to go to a halloween party with him as mater and you as lightning mcqueen aND PERHAPS IN THE LITERAL COSTUME KIND OR SOMEHOW CLOSE TO IT

he’s not as avid in things that you like as much as jungkook is

he’s just yoongi :((

and he feels like the whole yoongi for y/n thing isn’t enough :((

you haven’t seen yoongi though

and since today’s for the practice sessions, this is the time that you’re sURELy gonna see him!!!

that’s the problem though

because seeing someone doesn’t exactly guarantee that they’re gonna pay attention to you

in other words: you think that yoongi might be avoiding you :((

he wasn’t alone as he normally was and just when you were about to approach him, that’s when he left to go get changed

you have no choice too since he goes straight to the track and that was it!!

you’re sneaking in to reply to jungkook who’s asking for updates because he’s as committed to this scenario as much as you were

this is the last practice session anyway

you just want to get this over with so you could go confront yoongi and fix whatever is this that’s happening :((

it doesn’t help, really

doesn’t help when the practice session is over and what yoongi does the first thing when he finishes is not go back to where the team is

or perhaps just hop over the box like he usually does

he goes to kim dahyun,,

kim dahyun

she’s a heiress?? a socialite?? maybe both???

she’s someone who’s known to be always in the front seat when it comes to events

she’d be placed courtside in basketball games and in tennis tournaments and by the side of the runway when it’s fashion week

no one for sure knows why

but her most recent appearances have been banked in these racing weekends and wherever she goes is where articles follow :((

she’s just something else :((

she’s pretty and she’s rich and she’s kim dahyun 

she’s wearing your team’s novelty shirt and she has it tied up in the front 

dahyun has her hair up in a bun and she has this ribbon that corresponded with your team colors wrapped around it

she has these perfect-looking gel nails!! gel nails!!! you could see the shine all the way from here when she’s flashed at the monitor and is in fact a couple of feet away from you!!

the jewelry too :((

gel nails and jewelry are things you’ve always wanted to try out but could barely wear due to the nature of your job

and although they’re just little things, it kinda drives you crazy because you can’t help but feel like you’re having a burnout with your profession

the fact that yoongi’s going to her for reasons unbeknownst to you is enough to make your stomach drop

even puts his hand at the sMALL of her back and-

oh

even does this lil cheek kiss and she does it back with him and they talk

they talk

min yoongi goes to talk to kim dahyun and greet her like that

when you can’t even get the bare minimum of even a glance from him

“aRE YOU SEEING THIS??”

jungkook texts you and it’s the only momentary relief you get because this way, your eyes aren’t focused on them and your heart briefly stops hurting

“yeah.”

you wanna go back to the hotel

you don’t even wanna look at yoongi

you retreat to the furthest area away and just sit there while all this fuss blows over and how there are even some cheers upon seeing yoongi and dahyun up on the monitor

cool

that’s cool

your cheeks feel wet and you’re just wordlessly setting up and putting back the things that were needed for this session

mingyu, the fellow pit crew member who’s aloft from you and the other ones for most of the times even noticed and he was just ???

“y/n, y’okay?”

you can’t even bring yourself to be in surprise that he spoke to you because you’re too busy being sad 

“dust :)) it’s just dust :))”

but it’s not.,., it’s not even remotely windy.,..,

jungkook crashes to your room later that afternoon and stayed with you until you fell asleep

you’re not exactly cHATTY when you feel your heart breaking and kook’s well-aware

just wordlessly puts on whatever’s trending on netflix and puts it up for background noise :((

orders room service and nudges you until you agree to eat 

even strokes your hair because he could see some tears pricking at the corner of your eyes and jungkook automatically presses you to his chest

damn yoongi ://

yoongi’s kinda missing the texts and the calls you’d usually bombard with him 

but this time his phone’s silent

he knows at the back of his mind that this may be about dahyun awhile ago but at the same time, he doesn’t wanna entertain the thought because it’s harmless,,,, right??

dahyun was a friend before she became his girlfriend and tHEN his ex

and now they’re friends again

that’s not exactly harmful isn’t it

yoongi’s eyes keep going back to check his phone every two minutes just to see if there’s a notification from you

and if he gets one? he won’t ignore it he sWEARS

just atleast give him a text

even a passive-aggressive one that just has a single period on it

and hE knows that all of this is building up because of him :((

he’s not quite ready to admit that to himself though

oh my god is this the end for you and yoongi???

you haven’t even started with proper labels aND you’re already over???

this isn’t exactly the high road you always try to go through

but yoongi’s just beyond confusing and angering at this point and is being really uNFAIR

so if he won’t be open no matter how much you try to coax him at his won pace and decides to be immature about it.,.,,,

well you’re gonna stop adjusting :D

today’s the third to the last race and just like any other, it’s heated

you support yoongi the driver but you’re not in the best terms with yoongi the loVER

not a bad start honestly

yoongi didn’t get pole position but instead the third and he was a more than bummed because usually, when he didn’t get pole-sitter, he’d lean on to you for comfort and you’re gonna soothe him throughout

but no that didn’t happen yesterday

jimin just sighed and patted him on the back and said “just do good tomorrow” and how is tHAT gonna be on par with how you comfort him

he’s through about 3/4 into the race

and gOD it’s going seamless

but some things are just piling up and it’s making him completely confused

hobi’s already passed him and at this stretch, he typically wouldn’t be able to because yoongi knows hoseok’s pattern

yoongi’s only had a pit stop once and that’s the strategy that gets him winning most times

but god something just feels odd

jimin comes at the right times as he speaks through the radio and yoongi couldn’t be any more lost

“yoongi you hAVE to box now”

and box equates to him having anOther pit stop when he usually wouldn’t because this isn’t it!!

this isn’t the strategy!!!!

“jimin iF i box now then that means-”

“yoongi!! listen to me!!! jung’s gonna pass ahead wHETHER you box or not. if you wanna save face and finish this race ranking atleast within top 10, box. right. now.”

fuck

his tires are thinning and normally he could sTILL go through the final stretch without another pit stop but fuck is jimin ordering him with so much ferocity

he has no other choice

and yoongi’s angry

he’s sTILL heated up because these circumstance have never happened before

then he finished 7th in this race

and that’s the lowEST he’s ever placed this season!!!

yoongi can’t exactly control his anger when it comes to situations like these and jimin’s very well-aware

he has faith in yoongi and his driving but tHESE technical reasons are what made him to go through this last-minute strategy

jimin’s crew chief and he stands by his decisions and his strategies

there’s no denying tho that he kNOWS yoongi’s gonna be heated

yoongi marches off the moment he finishes

and he’s looking for someone

anyone

you’re there by jimin’s side

and of cOURSE you were shocked by the sudden strategy and you just can’t help going to him to discuss it

you know too that yoongi’s gonna be mAD but after analyzing the situation with jimin when he explained and when you visualized, jimin did make the right call

before you know it though

yoongi’s already there

“Y/N!!!”

oh

this is the first time that yoongi’s speaking to you and you couldn’t be anymore shocked and confused at the same time

the two of you aren’t exactly alone,.,,

he’s had this sudden recollection of yoongi eating dinner with you in your hotel room and you kept asking him questions about racing and strategies and the philosophical aspect of it

and he delved into his strategies with jimin and retold them to you

you were in so much fondness too because he looks so focused and passionate when he was laying them out to you

“dID YOU TELL ABOUT THE STRATEGIES TO JUNGKOOK?”

what

wHAT????

yoongi isn’t level-headed right now and the story’s immediately flipped in his head of how this must have possibly went

jimin’s eyes are bulging at what’s unfolding, but even more so to the fact that you and yoongi aREN’T alone

and he’s here and the other crew members are here

and they can heAR YOONGI!!! loud and clear!!!

“yoongi wHAT are you talking about???”

“don’t play dumb!! you told them to jungkook, didn’t you???”

for a fact, you didn’t

you didn’t tell jungkook nor aNYONE else

what would you benefit from that??

what would yOONGI benefit from that??

“shut up!! you tOld about the strategies to jungkook and he told it to hoseok and nOW look at what happened!!! all of this, all of what i did, is gonna fall through just because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut!!”

jimin’s heart is dropping at this and he can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now

he knows to his heart that you wouldn’t do such a thing

or that all of this has to do with his decision and a series of coincidences that piled up for yoongi to mindlessly think that you’re the reason for what he’s pushing to be a leak

“yoongi, i would never-”

“dON’T TALK TO ME!!”

he’s burning

actually burning

so much so that he’s walking towards you and looking down on you

“you’re fired.”

wait

what the actual fuck

“yOU CAN’T DO THAT!”

“i can.”

jimin’s about to step in as he’s standing behind you and he’s already gripping at your arm

he needs to say something

and you know your standing with jimin isn’t the best but you’re just thinking about him

you know how he’s due for a promotion and a raise

and you know yoongi’s above and beyond gonna ruin his career if jimin dared to speak and atleast attempt to defend you and pin the blame on himself

“and i’m gonna get my father involved if i have to.”

that’s it

that’s the end of your career

you didn’t wait to get fired

knowing yoongi, he means what he says and so you didn’t waste a single second in packing up your bags and rounding up your documents

you already knew enough that yoongi’s dad have connections with the association and a single phone call could flip things over

so whether yoongi’s already made the call to his dad or not, you’re gonna leave either way

you’re making calls to your manager, the same one who came to your college and recruited you and jungkook, and had to explain as much as you can while pulling at all stops

said managers was saddened at the call and then she had to make that call to the ones in the upper positions so could aLSO explain as much as she can

honestly you don’t know either what’s gonna come out of this

either your name would be defamed wrongly, or nO one’s gonna notice at all and your sudden disappearance would have 99 versions and not one confirmed

they think it’s best to respect your decision of letting go and even if you’ve signed a contract, this “firing” is as good as official

also they think it’s best to relay the statement of you making an “indefinite leave” due to a “family emergency of grave importance” which translates to no this isn’t an indefinite leave but instead you’re leaving for good

it’s both a blessing and a curse that this happened far into the season

a blessing since there’s only two races left after this and that means less adjustments with the team dynamic and the news of your departure won’t be as focused on because yeah last two races

a curse since these last two races are critical and yoongi just couldn’t wait until the last one to blame you and then fire you

no worries though

there are always replacements

aka which just points that you’re despensable and it’s nOT helping your self-esteem

backups are there in case the event a pit crew member gets injured (or worse, incapacitated; and they’re familiar with the work and the dynamic so it would be just a seamless fit

and all of that got arranged in less than two hours :)) there was even a flight you managed to book within that time

you didn’t even get to say goodbye to jungkook :((

he had to know all of it by a short n simple goodbye and see you soon text you sent before boarding and by asking jimin what happened

he was cOMPLETELY bawling his eyes out because his best friend left him :(( and he counts on you so much and you help him stay sANE

he’s beyond angry at yoongi and didn’t even bother to bat an eye when he walked past him

jimin feels so guilty and sad

he was a shitty crew chief to you for the most part and after all that, you still went through this considering hIM and his job and his dIGNITY even if it means you lose all three things and you already did

jimin cried when jungkook’s lip started trembling and he lost it completey by then

yoongi’s lost and empty and oblivious to all of this

he figures that it’s better to let some hours pass so he could cool down and reflect

that’s his second mistake however

yoongi’s complacent

and three hours have passed and he knows that at this time you’re still awake so he walked over to your room and just rang the bell

oh

he’s rung it three times now and uSUALLY you wouldn’t even let it pass two when it’s yoongi by the door

that’s weird

yoongi’s about to pull out his phone to call you to open the door but before

he could even press at your name, the door already opens

… it’s a middle-aged man …

“yOU’RE NOT Y/N”

…

…

“wrong door, kid.”

but that’s your room

yoongi knows you’ve left the circuit earlier than everyone because of what happened

that much he knows

but not this

yoongi dials jungkook instead because for sure he’d know where you are but then another door opens and that’s jUNGKOOK!!! leaving jimin’s room that’s a couple of doors from your room

“yA. do-…”

jungkook literally just walks past him and into the elevator

what

what is going ON

then yoongi’s jogging to jimin’s door that’s closing then he manages to wedge into his foot before it closes

“where’s Y/N?”

little did yoongi know that the answer would make him regret even asking you don’t have the slightest clue on how could possibly bounce back from this

maybe take a break; a week perhaps

get a job that’s for sURE

ignore yoongi’s texts and calls

reply to jungkook whenever he contacts you as much as he could in free time that he gets

assure jimin that you’re okay and he has nothing to apologize for

be eternally grateful for your friends that have your back no matter what and help you stay afloat and even giving you a job

bless the kim line

jin, namjoon, and taehyung were your ultimate friends in college besides jungkook

they are the most awesome and sWEETEST friend group you’ve ever had in your life

you didn’t get to hang out with them as frequently like you did with jungkook since the three of them were in the business course and you and kook on the student athlete side

but that didn’t change the fact that you give are inseperable and wHOLESOME

you and jungkook ended up being crew members for a famous and multi-million team in formula racing but you’ve retired wAY too early lmao

the three of them

well

not to brag

but they’re the proud owners and the brawns and the brains of kim kradle

KIM KRADLE!!

it’s a one-stop shop for everything that automobiles could possibly need

but why kim kradle do you ask???

well first of all,,, jin, namjoon, and taehyun have the same family name which is Kim so write that down

kradle? aha well :D

so for babies, there’s cradles, right??

they serve kinda like havens, right??

wHERE was ultron from avengers: age of ultron made??? the cradle. although their shop’s vision and mission are wAY WAY different from ultron’s

and like why name it kim cradle

when you can name it kIM KRADLE

they’ve had calls when they were starting out asking if they were selling baby cradles and the answer is N-O

it’s now a huge successful shop that’s like an open warehouse type!!

basically, the kim kradle is divided into three major operations

general services to intensive repair of parts and basically what goes on internally!! jin is in charge and heads that sector!!

he could see your car for two seconds and go “hey man, did you ever ace your karate lessons? lmao you have a broken fan belt not a black belt”

carwashes and waxing and all that good stuff!! namjoon is a beast at thus and your car could be like from 1997 and he’d clean it so good that it would look like it’s from 2030

customization!! from leather seats to metallic foils to coating!! taehyung has an instagram dedicated to his finished works and ongoing ones and like wHAT?? he has half a million followers?? no big deal

kim kradle is on the massive side and is therefore separated to three floors

namjoon and his carwashes are at the basement in which you’d still get sunlight in because there are inclined pathways on the side that lead out to an outdoor waiting area

jin is on the 2nd floor and basically in the same ground level where the civilization is because his section’s more critical and it’s the obvious option

taehyung gets the 3rd floor, and one part’s covered and the other is like a car balcony so when he finishes?? you could see that sunlight hitting the custom coat he did on your car

either kim kradle is so good, the placement and marketing are perfect, or the owners are just sO attractive and unparalled as to why so many people avail their services and most go through all three levels

maybe the formula is all three of those variables

you came home without knowing a sINGLE thing and being alone in your apartment is appreciated but it gets eerie and so isolating

and you called namjoon late into the night because he always knows what to say and you ended up having more than what you hoped for

you just wanted to have some comfort and ease because also,, namjoon’s voice is really soothing and u miss hearing it

not oNLY did you get some peace of mind

you also got a job without even actively looking for it at the moment and you couldn’t be anymore fulfilled

namjoon said that you could come in at kim kradle anytime at your own pace and they’d still welcome you with open arms

also said that jin and tae miss you sO much and it’s a good thing that namjoon is the one you called because if it’s either from the other two, you wouldn’t be able to sleep and perhaps you’d get visitors to your apartment at 2 in the morning

and this is it!!!

for once, you don’t want to confront a problem to the core

you’re just gonna distract yourself and make your way around it aha :D

two days later??? you’re working in kim kradle now!!!

and you know what??

you eVEN get the overalls

the only three people in kim kradle that wear overalls are jin, namjoon, and taehyung themselves

and it’s to kinda highlight the fact that they’re the owners and the heads of their sections

the rest wear boiler-style like suits 

all their uniforms are cute

like sERIOUSLY

jin is in charge of the color and there are actually multiple ones!! a pale pink to a nice lavender and a dark navy blue!! the first two are kinda impractical because it’s impossible to not get dirty in this job but they ARE adorable and stylish though

namjoon pushed for this uniform and so he really searched and handpicked fabrics that won’t be tOO hot and in which u could actively move in them

but sometimes there are tasks in which involve the straps for the overalls sliding down so tHE next big thing????

namjoon sewing but actually it became tAEHYUNG’S job because he’s gonna poke himself with the needle multiple times before even getting to put a thread in

made a lil hook by the custom shirts down to where it draped by the shoulders and it could hook the straps so like wHATEVER the four of you do, the overalls won’t slip :D

innovation amirite :D

and then it was taehyung’s job to have kim embroidered in really cute cursive by the back and the initials of their first name in a lil formal font below it

and the first names are embroidered in the front!!! 

tae was the one who wrapped the overalls into a large box and you genuinely didn’t expect that you’d be even given one

and it’s just that you’ve been so much on eDGE lately and every little thing turns you emotional these days ever since that incident with yoongi

“is she,,, she’s,,, is y/n sobbing??”

taehyung sputters because oh my god did his gift wrapping throw you off?? jeez he kinda knew at the back of his head that the bright neon green with some balloons saying “happy birthday” even if it’s nOT your birthday looks REPULSIVE and he didn’t have any other gift wrapper left but he didn’t know that it would be too repulsive to make you cry :((

“did we do something??”

jin looks worried because oh god maybe it was the joke he did awhile ago about you suddenly working here now

although namjoon eased their worries and oH you’re hugging the three of them!!!

“i-it’s just that-...”

you were only supposed to thank them for the overalls and the opportunity bUT it took some turns and it ended up with you telling them the story and namjoon having to fill in some gaps when you get too pouty and too sad to explain

tHEY GET IT NOW

anyways

it’s very easy to be thrown in the spur of things at the moment because you’re just grasping at every opportunity to distract yourself!! :D coping mechanisms!!!!

you’re with jin in his section because that’s your work!! that is your work before you got fired and you just got to continue it

but this time with all the time in the world

not really but an hour is a lifetime for you and you’re just used to repairing things in mere seconds

in mere seconds and you have to train for it like almost every second of the day sO this is a nice change :D

“a wrench?? i’m gonna replace the tires using a wrench??”

jin laughs at that because you’re holding it in disgust as you stare down the car that just got brought in

they don’t have a flat tire or anything!! they just wanna get new tires that are as exaggerated as their very-embellished and exaggerated jeep with their specs :D

“they don’t teach you that in racing school????”

://

you know how to replace tires with a wrench and a jack of course

but it’s just hitting you now that oh god this is very alike and different at the same time with your past job!!!

“you dON’T have pneumatic guns?? yeah sure they mAY be expensive but like work would be done quicker and you’d go through more customers?? oH my god jin??? you know what, i’m gonna call jimin right now. let me get you some things!!!”

well then,,,

actually,,,

jin mAY have a pneumatic gun lying around but they don’t use it because a) it’s not as fast and as efficient as what yOU use in the track b) what for honestly,,, c) this is not formula racing and most people aren’t in a rush

but you know what

this is going good for you!!!

jin’s learning new things from u and the other way around and you’re not wallowing in sadness tHAT much anymore :D

and you do feel that kim kradle is doing so much good on you!! you’re constantly with jin but sometimes you spice it up an transfer from floor to floor :))

pressure-washing with namjoon is very therapeutic and having excessive knowledge now about how to properly give your car the shiniest wax ever in your lifetime??

it’s excessive knowledge you wouldn’t trade for the world

you even go work with taehyung sometimes!!! you help him plan out color schemes and pick out fabric with him and go measure dimensions and eVEN do 3D mock-ups

watching and aLSO being able to mix custom coats to go on cars is very satisfying ok

tae even gives you the password to the instagram account :))

he gets you to do the close-ups sometimes and eVEN tells you a thing or two on how he edits these clips to be as satsfying and pleasing as possible

today’s just a slow day

only three cars have come to the shop and to your floor in the past hour nothing from the three of them needed that much TLC

two of them just needed to get their tires’ air pressure checked and have them pumped to match

the other one was just towed here because it’s the nearest shop and just has a dead battery :((

you don’t know how you and jin could pass the time because there isn’t any tv in the area since sOMEONE (jin himself) got distracted too much by watching sherlock and he jUST wanted to know how sherlock pulled off operation lazarus!!!!

it clearly wasn’t his intention to keep pumping up the jack and almost have the whOLE car tip over because he had it up all the way

that was an accident :))

he didn’t even notice that so many of his boys were dashing for the side of the car to keep it from falling and when one of them called out his name, jin had the aUDACITY to shush him because there goes the climax!!!

wOOpS aha oh no what happened to the car :D

the next big thing that jin could do? ask you and catch up about all the technical stuff in formula racing so he could learn too ya know

“what happens if a wing gets dented or like dEFORMED?? how would that be fixed that quickly??”

“ooh!! good question!! actually-...”

that sound

you miss that sound :((

someone’s driving in your floor by the sounds of it and you don’t even need to turn your head to know that it must be a rEALLY cool car :((

it reminds you of the sounds you hear on the track and it’s one that you dearly miss

the growl of whatever car this is loud but like nOT obnoxious of pricks that just wanna show off in traffic and rev up their engine, y’know??

jin could only be so happy because fINALLY

another customer and another task to do to pass this day and it’s nOT a prius!!!!!!!

fucking finally

jin stands up immediately and you immediately follow him and this car’s getting attention from the other workers at the floor because whew

they all know to back off and go back to working on previous and existing projects because aH they see jin smiling giddily and almost jogging and you’re in tow from excitement

it’s a nice car!!!

a maserati granturismo in sleek black!!! jin’s only saw one of these come in the shop driveway but only for them to pULL out and it’s just because they needed to maneuver to go back to a u-turn

what a prick ://

he was excited that day and for wHAT??? someone to use their driveway just so they could reverse their car???? that’s just rude

the owner in mystery comes out and is aLREADY TALKING and- wait

isn’t that yoongi?

yOONGI?????

“hey man, could you check on my radiator real quick? the airconditioning’s a bit wack and i’m not entirely sure if it’s the radiator but i don’t wanna tweak it, ‘cause maybe it’s the compressor too. not sure. can you-“

that’s

oh my god that’s yOU

the season’s wrapped up like a week ago and the last races were tough so tough than he could’ve ever imagined and it was even harder without you

yoongi won the season

but he lost you though :((

he was so enraged at himself the moment jimin told him about the verdict you took and how you quit before he could fire you — for good yoongi has no one to blame but himself and god he’s just so mad at himself

even up to now actually

his pride was so enormous that he didn’t even tHINK that he might be the problem as to why he placed 7th in that race

and instead, he just needed someone, anyone, for him to blame and you’re the fIRST person he sees and he immediately takes his anger and frustration out on you

you would never do such things and he’s disgusted at himself for even tHINKING that you’d ever betray him like that

he was regretting every bit of his words and actions that he said and did out of blind spite

if he could punch himself he would GLADLY do that and knock himself out yoongi was both panicked and livid

had a hard time breathing too because oh gOd he just can’t stop thinking about you and the things he’s caused that are too late to bring back and reverse :((

he kept pleading to atleast follow you home even for just some hours and he’ll immediately go back to the hotel as if he never left

but he can’t do that and he hATES it

god this wouldn’t have happened if he wasn’t a big fucking aSSHOLE!!! throughout the whole week ever since you left the team, he was a gigantic mess

like he still is now

but he had dark circles under his eyes that were swollen from crying so much

his lips were set in a frown as a default

yoongi was doing well with the streak of not biting and picking at his fingernails and his cuticles but now tHAT’S broken alright

he’s tried reaching out to jungkook multiple times

he’s tried apologizing but he always gets a deadpanned response of how he isn’t the one he needs to apologize to

kook sees the sincerity of yoongi trying to apologize because he’s hurt you, his best friend, but that’s not the important issue here

you called jungkook unknowingly in the middle of his and yoongi’s conversation and the boy just almost jUMPS at jungkook to try and borrow his phone with his pleads and as much as his heart goes out (he still hATES yoongi ok), jungkook’s not gonna let him

he tries getting jimin to let him borrow his phone and call you and jimin won’t let him either because this is not his place and you’ve been through enough

the closest yoongi’s ever got to you??

jimin still feels so sorry and guilty to this day

and he’s conflicted and confused and a lil sad

but jimin did call you in front of yoongi on speaker :(((

and yoongi got to hear you answer with a chipped-out voice :(((

and he’s just so tempted to speak out loud but if he does that, then jimin will forever be mad at him too probably and he’s also promised that he’s gonna pretend he isn’t there

ask her if she already ate dinner

yoongi won’t stop typing in his notes tho and wave it frantically for jimin to ask you

and you’re responding truthfully because what’s jimin gonna do?? fLY to your home and cook you spaghetti?????

of course not

that’s what yoongi wants to do :(( if only he can :((

his win felt so empty and it just feels so dull without you here

also knowing that he’s drived out one of the only people that puts up with him and is always patient and is the reason to why he’s been so inspired lately

and one of these days

just one of these days, yoongi wants to drive to your apartment and camp out the door if he needs to just so he could redeem himself and earn forgiveness and try to mend what he’s broken

not today though

not today when the moment yoongi finally gathered the words and the courage to go to you, with the blessing of jungkook giving him his address but with a very sTRICT warning that scared the shit out of him.,.,.,

but also with his airconditioning broken and something just tells him that he needs to take it to a shop because it’s been awhile ever since he drove normal cars

and yoongi actually forgot the gravity of all this so he’s a bit nervous because maybe this is a more serious case with his car and it’s just the universe’s way of telling him to go to you tomorrow

or as soon as his car gets taken to the shop

maybe he needs to polish up some lines and try practicing them better from the heart

yoongi could go to jimin and have it fix it for him but like that’s tOO far of a drive and he just needs a quick fix

ooh

kim kradle!!! it’s the nearest shop to his place that has five stars on it

and he’s still a bit wary because his face and his name and win did land on the news and he’s been trending lately and like wHAT IF someone takes advantage of his car or scams him because they know who he is this car is his frequent and it holds a sentimental value to his heart ok

kim kradle is bigger than he’s pictured it in his mind

woah it actually looks cool and promising

christ it’s so hot inside his car god he needed to open up a little bit of his window but mosquitoes would creep in and tHEY’RE annoying and a real hazard to kill while you’re driving down the road

he wants to get this over with quickly

yoongi just needs to drive to your place and see you asap

“hey man, could you check on my radiator real quick? the airconditioning’s a bit wack and i’m not entirely sure if it’s the radiator but i don’t wanna tweak it, ‘cause maybe it’s the compressor too. not sure. can you-“

oh

that’s you

wAIT THAT IS YOU

“y/n?”

his hands are literally shaking right now oh my god

it’s been some twenty-seven days ever since he’s last saw you and here you aRE

here you are in a place he’s least expected to see you because he’s on the way to see you but actually yOU’RE HERE

“yoongi.”

you acknowledge him back and god you don’t know what to feel

jin immediately senses what’s happening and deep-down he is pANICKING alright

he’s been in contact with jungkook and in the back of their minds, they knew that yoongi won’t let this go without his ever-present persistence

and eventually like maybe yoongi’s gonna know that you work here and the last time that he checked, yoongi doesn’t even know kim kradle

bUT JIN DIDN’T KNOW THAT THIS TIME WOULD COME THIS SOON OK

he immediately steps in and insert himself in between you and yoongi that he’s trying to close the distance to you and that surprises yoongi completely

“airconditioning, right? keys please. i’ll check it out!!”

yoongi wastes no time in shoving the keys to jin’s hand and he couldn’t be anymore desperate to talk to you

he doesn’t wanna cross boundaries obviously even if jin’s already moved out of the way

you’re still glued to your spot trying to process the situation and your fight or flight response is not exactly working right now

is there a disbelief and yearning and standing in sadness and anger option in that fight or flight choice

“i haven’t seen you in so long.”

that’s what usually happens when you become an asshole yOONGI

god how are you supposed to react

“you too.”

there’s this awkward distance in between the two of you and it’s too deep to even get between 

yoongi suddenly forgets the words that’s been in his mind for the longest time,, just brewing and evolving and always changing as he just wants to fix the damage he’s done :((

he’s about to get closer but

“the cooling fan’s just clogged. it could be finished within like fifteen minutes man :D”

jin doesn’t exactly know what he’s doing but he ‘s dOING whatever this is ok

although that is factual

the cooling fan is just a bit dirty and there’s some debris in there that could be cleared quickly

but he just needs to do it extra carefully because this is a nice car ok

i mean he sTILL cares for cars in the same way even if not every car he gets in the shop is a maserati granturismo 

he’s just a lil bit nervous even thOUGH he’s an expert at this ok

“fIFTEEN MINUTES???”

yoongi’s freaking out and he’s gripping at his hair in panic because wHAT

THAT SHOULD TAKE AN HOUR

goddamn why does kim kradle have to be a five-star shop :((

“y-yeah.,, i can do it in ten if you’re in a hurry-”

“aha nO NO :D i’m not in a hurry at all!!! please, take your time!!”

oh god what does he do now

yoongi walks over to his car and that confuses both you and jin

because what

he has half of his body in the driver’s seat and it sEEMS that he’s fishing for something in his glovebox

it’s a lil swiss knife

bUT WHY

he kept it in the gloveboxes of his cars because seatbelts are not exactly fool-proof and you could be stuck in them and he’s scared of that

and also if he’s gotten a takeout of a burger and it’s too big and he’s driving with one hand so he’ll just whip out his lil swiss knife and cut haphazardly

“what’s your name, man??”

“jin!! kim seokjin :D you’re-”

wait

what the fuck is yoongi doing

oh 

did he just-

“also forgot to tell you!!! my tires are running flat and i tHINK they need to be changed!! so sorry man it just came up”

deadass

yoongi literally just slashed his four tires

jin’s sPUTTERING

and he’s looking back and forth to you and to yoongi and his car

“are you -- are you sEEING -- y/n tell me wait what the fuck iS YOONGI SLASHING HIS TIRES????”

whatever it takes

whatever to buy his time with you and so as much as he can

you’re quite taken aback because oh did yoongi just do that

jin has only known yoongi personally for like eight minutes and he could positively say that he is on aNOTHER level

yoongi’s approaching you again and it only hits you nOW

“have you eaten lunch already?”

your mouth is dry and you absolutely can’t look at yoongi because it just feels so unreal 

“no. hEy uh-...”

“no?? oh my gOD hold on just stay still, yeah? i’m gonna get lunch hOld on-”

yoongi’s immediately scarmbling for the exit

he has no concrete plan but he sure is hellbent in getting you lunch even though his car’s tires are slashed and he’s gonna be walking in an area he’s unfamiliar with

you really haven’t eaten lunch 

you were just about to say a half-assed reason of namjoon calling you just to exit this situation because you are nOT ready and yoongi’s already off before you could mutter it

jin’s gears are just on a frenzy

“oh so that’s min yoongi.,.,,. jusT slashed his own tires,.,,. that’s.... endearing.,.,,”

you’ve detached yourself from the situation and you couldn’t really stand seeing nor interacting with yoongi

you’ve cooped up yourself in jin’s office and the moment yoongi came back holding up take-out for boTH you and jin, his car’s already all-done

jin gives him a look that’s telling and yoongi gets it

“oh. that’s okay. just uh, just leave this for y/n, can you? there’s enough for the two of you. thanks, jin :))”

you need a moment

that one’s obvious

taehyung insisted that you come home early and you obliged because oh god you nEED a moment

you come into work the next day and sure enough, you’re all well-rested and this time they could ask about what happened yesterday

even hear jin’s point of view on how yoongi is just so wILD

taehyung is in alert and so in namjoon

they’re all ears ok

jin’s telling his story and tae’s nudging you discreetly and makes you look at a box!!!

a box he’s ordered online a couple days ago after he saw you breakdown and you’re looking in awe as you whisper because u don’t wanna disrupt jin

“gel nails???”

the same one you always wanted and it’s flashing back to when you saw yoongi talking to dahyun!!!

oh this is really happening???

“dO IT YOURSELF!!!”

taehyung’s grabbing your hand immediately as he opens the box and he’s sO pumped for this because he stayed up all night watching how to do gel nails yourself!!

he even bought a nice uv lamp for it!! he’s tHAT dedicated

this takes your mind off of yoongi for awhile

a car pulls up yet again and you’re getting the chills again bUt it just turned out to be jungkook

aND HOBI!!!

hobi finished second this season!!

they immediately flock to the lot of you and you’re not sure on who flocks who because everyone’s just genuinely happy to see each other

even the kim line meeting hobi for the first time is such a fun experience

jungkook immediately goes to you and he sEES taehyung doing something to your hand

he’s not sure what he’s doing

but he knows that he wants IN okay

he wants to these gel nails on your other hand

he doesn’t know shit on how to do them but he’s gonna learn along the way aND he is not backing down 

taehyung wasn’t aware that this is a competition now but apparently iT IS NOW :O

it’s not ensured that your two hands will look the exact same because you think they’re going for the what looks better competition and not let’S DO THIS IDENTICALLY because these are y/n’s hands y’know 

you’re about to fall asleep with how this is lowkey soothing

this is not the quickest manicure to do on anybody

especially if it’s someone’s first time and they’re really aIMING for it to be perfect

although it’s not easy because another car pulls up and you’re pANICKED that it might be yoongi 

oh nah it’s okay that’s not his car anyway!!!

you sometimes forget.... that yoongi’s a race car driver....

and there’s a possibility.... that he has multiple cars....

that’s yoongi alright

he steps down in a hurry and makes a beeline for you because he could immediately spot you!!! even in crowds!!!

you’re somehow ensured that yoongi’s gonna decide against going to you because you’re not alone

taehyung’s on your left and jungkook’s on your right and they’re not leaving your side until they finish their masterpieces for like another half hour

oH HE’S GOING FOR IT

“y/n, hI!!”

coming in strong but that’s ok

“jungkook :]”

he acknowledges kook and you’re not exactly up-to-date with how these two stand with each other 

but kook kinda just gives him a confused glance (jIN CALLED HIM LAST NIGHT) and nods back to yoongi

what

taehyung has his lips parted because what,,, why.,., 

yoongi’s about to open his mouth to talk to this guy that’s holding your hAND???

oh this is the part right

“i’m,,, kim taehyung.,.,.,”

“min yoongi. nice to meet you :))”

he sticks out his hand and tae blindly reaches for it and he doesn’t know wHY he shook it and he’s still confused up to to now

what is yoongi doing

wHAT IS HE DOING

you only realize now that yoongi has something in his hands and he’s looking dead straight to you and he doesn’t falter once

(he’s nervous on the inside trUST HIM)

“i know you’re not that comfy in seeing me and that’s tOTALLY okay!! i respect that!! it’s just uH i realized that uhm,.,., do you remember that time we were karting? and you won and we ki -- when you wON?? and you said that the winner gets one week of presents,,.,, and i just want to fulfill that.”

yoongi’s voice is wavering because oh shit this iS hard to swallow down

“even if i might be a little late.”

he wordlessly sets down a wrapped present by your feet, just in the middle of a sitting jungkook and taehyung who are listening all this time and have curious eyes on the neatly-wrapped present that’s been laid down

he leaves and stalks over to jin

“what happened now yoongi.,.,.,”

“my guess is that there are some rocks stuck in the wheel bearings. maybe even in the mags. four on the left, three on the right.”

....

hmmmm

“that’s nice, man. just a hunch??”

“yup :)) just a hunch :)) aLSO: can i have a stool?? i’m just gonna wait here, y’know :))”

yoongi’s not expecting anything from you

he doesn’t mind rejection or you ignoring him all throughout because he knows that he deserves it

he deserves it for sure

sometimes he sees you in the corner of his eye

or you helping out jin on fixing yoongi’s other car

or the other one

your own pace

your pace is what matters and yoongi isn’t gonna take any shortcut or undercut

this isn’t formula racing

this is yOU and him being patient until you feel like acknowledging him

of course he still apologizes

texts you even if you’re across the room

sees you open the text and you’d send him a look and you’d be giving him the slightest smile before you occupy yourself again

yoongi’s okay with that.

he keeps coming back

this is the third car and it’s nOT EVEN HIS ANYMORE

he’s just texting friends asking “yO do u need you car washed or fixed or something??? i’ll take it to the shop for you fREE OF CHARGE!!!”

he’s that invested in this and he doesn’t see himself giving up this is good for kim kradle of course but oh god this is aMUSING TOO throughout the week, yoongi hasn’t faltered either in continuing at giving you the gifts

the first one he’s given you?? a box full of trinkets he’s been collecting for every country that he’s visited ever since you gave him that caffeine pill!!

just random things he’s seen in malls or souvenir shops or airport boutiques that reminded him of you, all in a box with a single note

i miss you. - yoongi

you’re not gonna lie

you do miss yoongi too

but the things he’s done still make you wince when you’re thinking about it and even though he’s apologized in all ways but a face-to-face one

because you’re not that lax with him, the both of you know that this isn’t just a one and done thing

things take time and yoongi’s taking it at your pace and you’re grateful for it

warming up is always relative and so is forgiveness longing’s still there but it’s just a matter of suppressing it and yeah you dO miss yoongi

you’re lost without him too although you’re not gonna make that anymore obvious because that’s just devastating to think about you think he’s about to reach the end of his rope and it throws you in the whirlwind of oH

this is the sixth consecutive day that yoongi’s been coming to kim kradle yesterday was the first bIG interaction you’ve ever done with him

because since you don’t talk to him as much, he just takes his time as he waits for the services for the cars that he brings by making conversation with the guys

he’s gotten to know jin and joon and tae aND YEAH they like him but they do grill him separately though because they’re mad at what he’s done to you

but he’s also apologized to them and made promises that he’s gonna be keeping

jin doesn’t cook by the kitchen anymore because yoongi keeps bringing takeout or sometimes hE’S THE ONE WHO COOKS in his home and brings it to u guys

is it bad that he all bought you lunchboxes

is it bad that your lunchbox is the fanciest out of all of them and you have more portions and yours are always cut up like he did with the pork.,.,..

it’s not bad as lonG as you pretend to unsee the three kims stealing food from you and just go about to eating your food

but the big interaction did happen yesterday

and it was you suddenly calling out yoongi’s name as he’s sat by the car but he sTILL heard you and he swears he’s gonna cry

because oh god it’s been a long time ever since you said his name in that tone

“you’re not gonna eat with us?”

OH DAMN

he’s a mess

“uhm weLL do you want me too?? it’s oKAY uhm pls just-“

“don’t make me regret asking, yoongs.”

yOONGS

Y O O N G S

yoongi is instantly walking his ass to the little makeshift dining circle because oh my god YES

he doesn’t overstep tho and he just sits in between namjoon and

taehyung as he eats and every few minutes he sneaks a look at you and sometimes you look at him aND IT’S JUST LIKE the start all over again there’s the last piece of tteokbokki and everyone’s just feeling it out and looking at it

and yoongi

the bold man that he is

picks it up with his chopsticks aND

oh he’s putting it on your lunchbox

:))))))))

the night’s late and taehyung called yoongi to say that the car (it’s actually yoongi’s) he’s brought in for a ceramic coating and custom leather seats are all finished and wrapped up

and if he wants, he could go to the shop right now and pick it up since namjoon’s finishing up by the basement anyways and it would still be open then

and he does pick it up

he knows his way around the store

you could either take the stairs or the lift if you’re coming in into kim kradle without a car to go up and down the levels but he’s patient so he’ll just take the stairs

what he wasn’t expecting though

something that makes him cease his whistling as he goes up to the third floor to fetch his car

is you

rIGHT there

besides his car

and this is the only time that the both of you are alone and his throat is suddenly dry

you know this too though

you were intending to staying up late here just to finish on the car that’s been brought in two days ago with the broken engine that you think is worth salvaging

and you just wanted to see the view :((

reminisce to how you’ve been seeing yoongi in the flesh for six days straight and how you wanna tackle this conflict right to the head but you’re unsure to how :((

it doesn’t take a genius to know that yOONGI himself is right behind you

as you are aware too that this is his car that taehyung’s been working on thank u very much

“i want you to know that i’m not giving up on you.”

his words cut through the cold air and it surely gets your attention even if your back is still turned to him as you’re hunched over the balcony

“i’m running out of cars to bring, the one week of presents is ending, and

i’m so cLOSE to putting up a cot so i could sleep here.”

he’s serious about that one

seeing you just makes everything better no matter the circumstance it calms his heart and everything in him and he’s not gonna stop at nO matter what to try and make up for the things he’s done

“but you’re worth all this.”

yoongi dares to take a step closer and this time you could already see him by your peripheral vision

“you’re worth it,” and he needs a collective second to exhale the heaviness that’s sitting on his chest because oh gOd he was really an asshole huh

“i don’t know how long it’s gonna take, but i’m willing to wait.”

this is more nerve-wracking than any report card or championship results he’s been ever given and he’s not ashamed to admit that

“i love you, y’know?”

that’s the thing he’s been wanting to say for a long time he doesn’t know in the first place on wHY the hell was he scared because now that he says it to you, he feels like he’s never been more sure of anything in his life :(((

“good night, y/n.”

and the main purpose to why he’s here completely escapes his mind

he just misses you sO much that it’s so painful and all he could do is imagine scenarios and look back at all the pictures he’s taken of you half of it he’s sure that you never even noticed him taking

aND IT HITS YOU

something that hits you with the way that his car keys have the sticker of your initials on them

or the way when taehyung asked you out to help him with the leather interior for yoongi’s car and your scrunchie that you must’ve left is wrapped snugly on his handbrake

or how in the final checking for his car did you know that your playlist that you don’t even rEMEMBER mentioning to him is the one that’s on repeat in his radio

yoongi stops the moment that you call out for his name and god he’s closing his eyes because all the worst possible scenarios of you calling for him to stop this is enough to make him cry

you’ve also never been more sure of anything in your life

your hand just barely grips yoongi’s arm, staring up at him as you get to notice the features of his that you’ve always loved and missed all this time

yoongi’s hand’s open and so is your heart for all this

it’s the same keys that he’s went here for the first place, the ones with your intials on as he only realizes now that he’s done that

“drive me home.”

[rhysismydaddy]

The Librarian Ch.1 (Nessian fic)

Wowzers, it’s been a while since I posted! I’ve been writing though! I just have a problem where I start writing shit and never finish it haha.

I finished this one, and it’s 4 parts, they’re all written, and they’ll be becoming out this week!

Synopsis: Cassian Nezara is the King of Campus. He’s the star quarterback for the winning football team, he’s got a great personality, and he’s pretty good looking, too. But when he’s forced to volunteer at the campus library because of a fight, he meets Nesta Archeron, the mysterious and sarcastic librarian. Finding out her secret changes how he views his status on campus forever. 

| Masterlist | Part 2 | Part 3 |

________________________________________________________________

~Cassian~

Cassian barreled through the sea of freshman in front of him, almost knocking one into the bookshelf next to her. 

“Sorry,” he muttered, not slowing down. 

Coach would kill him if he was late. 

He practically ran up to the little desk in the corner of the first-floor lobby. “Hi, um excuse me,” he said to the woman sitting behind the desk. She had her back turned, feet propped on the desk in front of her without a care in the world. “Do you work here?”

She didn’t turn around. Maybe she didn’t work here. The back of her head looked a little young to be a librarian, anyway. 

“Excuse me,” he said again to her back. 

She still didn’t turn around. Cassian managed to put his temper on a tight leash before slamming his hand into the little bell on top of the desk. 

With a heavy sigh, the woman snapped her book shut, whirling around. 

Cassian froze. And stared. 

He’d been right about the young part. She was probably his age, maybe a little younger. And fucking gorgeous. Crystal blue eyes, high cheekbones, lips that begged to be kissed. She was in an oversize sweatshirt and jeans, but he could tell she had a small figure that’d fit perfectly in his arms. 

Why the hell was she in this dusty place? 

“Books are organized by topic and last name, reference numbers are posted at the end of the columns,” she said drily, then made to turn back around. 

He reached out and grabbed the edge of her chair. 

“I’m not looking for a book.”

She glared at the hand clamped on her chair until he released it. “It’s a library. Surely even you noticed that.”

Jesus, what was this chick’s problem? Weren’t librarians supposed to be sweet old ladies with cats and a kink for romance novels?

“Yeah, I noticed,” he replied, equally as terse. 

She just raised an eyebrow.

“I’m Cassian Nezara. I’m... a volunteer.” 

The librarian looked him up and down. “Blood drive’s next week.”

“I’m not here for the blood drive. Coach Hampton should’ve sent an email-”

She’d been terse before, but her tone shifted even more toward something like hatred. “Coach Hampton.”

Cassian nodded, confused as hell. Everyone loved Coach. 

I mean, he’d led the school to victory in the National Championship for eight years in a row. Football was practically a religion around here, and Ron Hampton was the god. 

He supposed that made him and his teammates angels. He didn’t exactly hate the idea. It sure as hell matched with how the population of the school treated him. 

Ever since his first game when he’d been subbed for the starting quarterback, he’d been revered on campus. And had started. Everyone around him loved football. Loved coach. 

But the woman in front of him rose to her feet, jabbed a finger into his chest, and practically shoved him backwards, growling, “You tell Coach Hampton to find somewhere else to stick his delinquent players.”

His eyebrows shot to his hairline, and he would’ve retorted, asked why, but the look in her eyes told him not to. Plus, it’s not like he wanted to be stuck volunteering in the library every day. 

So Cassian just shrugged, grabbed his phone as he walked out of the building, and called coach. 

“What the hell did you do now,” the old bastard gruffed as soon as the line went through. 

He huffed a laugh. “Actually, I think it might have been you this time. The receptionist, librarian, whatever she is told me to tell you to ‘find somewhere else to stick your delinquent players.’”

Coach paused at that. Then, “Who was it?”

“Didn’t get a name.”

He could tell coach was pinching the brim of his nose as he said, “In your twenty-two years of life, when have you ever not gotten a girl’s name?”

“Listen,” he explained, “This chick is seriously pissed off at the world. And possibly deranged.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.” 

The line went dead.

Cassian groaned, resisting the urge to chuck his phone into a nearby fountain. The fact that he was being punished in the first place as stupid to him. But it was stupider that coach seemed it fit to make him suffer in a library of all places. 

Plus, he was being punished for “fighting,” if you could even call it that. Cassian had landed one punch to the bastard’s face before his teammates pulled him back. 

Plus, the idiot had deserved it. Captain of the rival football team and an all-around prick, Tamlin O’Connor had practically goaded him into a fight. And Cassian had been stupid enough to let him. 

So stupid. 

Coach usually didn’t care if they fought, but the prick was threatening to sue if the school didn’t “discipline” him. So library duty it was, apparently. 

Coach’s car pulled up, and the stout man hopped out, already looking pissed off. 

“Okay, you bonehead, I’m here. This has to work out, Cassian,” he scolded, that signature scowl of his deepening. “The library is the only place on campus you don’t have to have a record of working. Labs, working as a TA, the gym... they all record it. So if it goes in the system, it’s official, and I’ll have to bench you.”

Cassian rolled his eyes in annoyance, following coach back inside. 

He pointed over to the desk where the receptionist sat, facing them this time, but still holding a book. 

“Excuse me. I need to talk to someone about one of my player’s volunteering here,” Coach’s usually raspy voice was nicer, softer. 

The woman sitting in front of them just looked up at Cassian as if to say, Ran to daddy? 

Then flattened her gaze on coach. Waiting. 

“The dean has ordered Mr. Nezara here,” he flung a hand in Cassian’s face, “to volunteer somewhere on campus as punishment for something, and we think the library would be a good fit.”

“Interesting. I don’t.” 

She looked back down at her book. 

Coach gritted his teeth. “Can I speak to your boss, young lady?”

Blue eyes flashed up at him, and a cruel smile twisted her mouth. “I don’t have a boss, old man.”

If Cassian had been anyone else, he’d have pulled up a chair and grabbed some popcorn. Coach was used to being listened to. Feared, even. And yet the woman lounging before them, looking at them as if they were filth... she didn’t seem the type to listen to anyone. 

“Listen here-”

“No, you listen. I’m not one of your little preening ogres in a leotard you can boss around. I run this library. So I know about you’re little scheme.” She whispered the last part conspiratorially, “The one where one of your players does something stupid and you tell the dean he’ll “volunteer” somewhere, then let him nap in the library for an hour every day.”

Coach opened his mouth, but she held up a hand. 

If he wasn’t being insulted every two seconds, he’d swear he was in love with her for that gesture alone. 

“Mr. Nezara,” she spat, “will not be serving his sentence here. People who volunteer here want to volunteer.” She looked up at him. “And usually know how to read.”

With that, she simply opened her book again. Conversation over. 

Cassian turned to leave, both annoyed and impressed, but Coach asked, “What will it take? For you to let him volunteer, and I mean actually volunteer, here?”

The librarian closed her book with a deep sigh. “Five percent of the annual earnings from football gets donated to my department,” she said as if she’d been waiting for the question.

Holy shit. That was insane. Coach would never-

“Two. Pre-season only.”

“Three. Regular season, no playoffs.”

“Deal,” Coach practically growled at the woman, turning to stomp out of the building. “He starts tomorrow.”

Casaian followed coach outside, and managed to contain his laughter at the man practically spitting fumes. 

“You realize that if you don’t win the championship this year and make the money back, I’ll kick your ass, right?”

“Why the hell did you do that?” he asked instead. “Three percent of our regular season is still a good chunk of change.”

Coach shrugged, jaw tightening. “When I was your age, I made a similar mistake. And it went on my record and hurt my chances of going pro. I still made it happen, but it was harder. A lot harder. The school will still make millions from the season, and the majority of the cash comes from the playoffs anyway.”

Cassian usually didn’t run out of things to say, but he found himself struck dumb. Coach was a mean old bastard, but he cared about his players and would do just about anything for them. “Thank you.”

Coach spat on the ground. “Get your punkass to the stadium. And, for the love of God, don’t piss that woman off even more.”

~Nesta~

A cheap, cheap woman. That’s that Nesta was. 

She’d sold herself out to the football team. For a chunk of money. Granted, it would probably be the biggest income for the library in years, but still. The thought of what she’d done made Nesta queasy. 

And to Ron fucking Hampton out of all people. Her hatred for him and his entire team of stupid, muscled toddlers pretending to be good guys ran deep. And she’d agreed to spend an hour with one. Every day. 

A cheap, cheap woman indeed. 

Two years ago, she’d promised herself she would never again lay her fate in the hands of someone like Hampton. And yet, she’d just done exactly what he’d wanted her to do. 

Granted, she didn’t roll over and take it like a good little young lady, but she ended up giving him what he wanted. Exactly like everyone else. 

But, no. She wouldn’t let it be that easy. She’d punish Hampton the only way she could: through “Mr. Nezara.” 

As Nesta walked into her apartment, locked all three deadbolts on her door, and took a steadying breath, she vowed to make her new volunteer’s life hell. 

And smiled.

~Cassian~

Cassian hustled into the library once again the next day, sliding to a stop in front of the reception desk. He checked his watch, then smiled. A whole thirty seconds early.

The woman from yesterday just closed her book and jerked her chin to him. “Follow me.”

She walked through aisles of books, hips swaying in a way Cassian couldn’t help but watch. He’d thought about it after he’d left yesterday, but still had no idea why someone so young and beautiful would work in a boring, dead-end job like this. Or how she’d come to run the place, despite being the youngest librarian he’d ever seen. 

He shook his head, continuing to follow her her down a set of stairs, a narrow hallway, and into the room at the end. 

She strode on through, but Cassian paused in the doorway. The room was covered in dirt and dust and cobwebs, stacked floor to ceiling with boxes overflowing with books. Empty shelves stood along the walls, the middle space being taken up by the mountain of boxes.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

She ignored him. “Books go on the shelves. Cleaning closet is across the hall.”

“What the hell’s the point? They obviously haven’t been touched in years.” The thought of going through all of them made him growl. 

“They’re books that have been taken out of circulation. We don’t throw them away.”

Cassian muttered, “Pack rats.”

The librarian rolled her eyes, striding for the door and gesturing for him to move.

He shook his head. “What’s your name?”

“Move.”

“Nope.” He had no idea why he wanted to know, but calling her the librarian was getting old. 

A flash of something in her eyes. It looked like panic, but it was too quick to read properly. “My name is Nesta. Now move.”

He just stuck out his hand, smiling. “So good to meet you, Nes-”

The vile woman grabbed his hand, twisted it so hard he almost fell to his knees, and pulled him out of the doorway. “Asshole,” she muttered, smacking the back of his head for emphasis as she strode by him. 

By the time his breathing returned to normal and the ache in his now-sore wrist dulled, she was gone. 

It seemed as if little miss Nesta was trying to make him miserable. Probably so he’d quit and she didn’t have to deal with him anymore. 

He grinned, eyeing the monstrous stack of dusty books once more. You’re going to have to try a lot harder than that, Nesta, baby.

~Nesta~

Nesta smiled as she headed down to the basement fifty minutes later. She made her footsteps quiet, hoping to catch him sitting on his ass. If she was being honest, she couldn’t wait to see how miserable he was. 

It made her a terrible person, but she didn’t fight it. 

Nesta peered around the corner. 

And lost every thought of malice in her head. 

The room was pristine. And that was putting it lightly. The shelves were shining, filled with clean books, the floors still wet from being mopped. Hell, even the ceiling looked like it had been scrubbed down. 

Cassian stood in the corner, the last box of books on his shoulder, and said to her, “You guys invest in way too many books on the Civil War.”

Nesta forced herself to sound unimpressed, bored even. “They’re the most requested. But new ones come out every year with different information, so we have to replace them.”

He hummed, turning around to face her, that stupid little smile on his lips.

Apparently done with the box, he took it between two hands and crushed it, the motion making the muscles in his arms bunch together. 

She looked around the room again, and his smile widened proudly. So Nesta just sighed and said, “Put the boxes out back in recycling, and you’re free to go.”

He managed to only look a little disappointed as he grabbed the rest of the boxes, then walked in front of her up the stairs. She sat behind her desk as he went outside, taking a sip of her smoothie. 

Which she almost spit everywhere as a smooth voice said from behind her ear, “That, by the way, is how you sneak up on someone. See you tomorrow, baby.”

She swirled around to strangle him, but he was already walking away, hands in the hair in mock surrender. 

Oh, she was going to kill him. Or at least make his life miserable. Let the games begin, baby. 

________________________________________________________________

PART 2 will be out Thursday :) I promise it gets a lot more interesting. Let me know in my asks if you want to be tagged! 

@bamchickawowow

[doverly]

How Forbidden

My (admittedly late) submission for Friday Night Frights 6/14/21.

A recently conquered princess sents out on a journey to find her secret lover.

~3.5K Words

“Your Highness, it isn’t only your reputation at stake, but our entire peoples'” the knight insisted with a grave expression.

“My reputation shouldn’t be at risk for loving another woman,” she spat back, words shaking and unsteady. “You can’t tell me that there’s any sense to it!”

“I cannot,” the knight admitted. “Nor can I do anything to stop you, unless the Duke orders so. Whatever you do, don’t let it come to that.”

Even though Lady Diamond knew the risks she still couldn't abandon her lover. Her knight had been leaning close to her hear, whispering his urgent warnings as she fingered the letters of her love, but when her ladies got back from the powder room he jumped back. Like he had always been a respectful distance behind her. Like he hadn't watched her read intimate letters night after night. Like he was nothing but a loyal guardsman.

Most of Lady Diamond's ladies were orphans or otherwise left with nowhere to go. The recent absorption of the Kingdom of Ardenne into the Empire hadn't helped their situation, in fact, it had changed everything completely. In the new Dukedom of Ardenne-Chance, no one knew their place. Suddenly the beloved princess was nothing but a Grand Duchess, and countesses and dukes found their rank completely diminish. Diamond was trying her best to find them husbands or stable living, but it was hard.

In the evening light of her dressing room she and her ladies, under the watchful eye of her loyal old guard, played little games and talked of meaningless gossip. Even though their empirical absorption had been bloodless, the meer might empire had warranted an immediate surrender from Diamond's brother, it had still rocked their world. Little inconsequential games and talk really helped Diamond and her ladies feel at ease.

Diamond lost soundly, but with good cheer. By the time the sun went down the ladies were in good humour and left to their respective chambers with a spring in their steps. Diamond was left in her dressing room with Sir Garrette, everyone knew that he would try nothing with the lady, he was like an uncle to her. When everyone left Diamond left the game table and practically sprinted to her writing desk. From a secret compartment, unlocked by a little key that Diamon kept on her at all times, Diamond unlocked it and took out the most recent letter.

"My love, my heart, my everything. While I am a patient gentlewoman my heart yearns for you, and I have decided that I would like to meet you. I understand that you might be apprehensive my love, I can see the cute little frown on her face as I write this, I cannot live without you, my dear. And I realize now that I have not been living. Ever since we first met at the masquerade in the capital I have been dead. Seeing you, dancing with you again, touching your bare cheek with my hand, will bring me to life again my love."

"Please if you have any desire to see me come to the Equinox Mascequrade in the capital, I have had an invitation sent to you and your family. I know parties such as these are only for adultery and debauchery but it is the only way for our love to remain secret. If you don't come I will continue to love you from afar. I will be wearing the deep blue coat trimmed in silver and a gown of your favourite colour. I cannot wait to see you trimmed in jewels and diamonds. The thought of you sends my heart into shivers

Your servant,

Imperial Gentlewoman

Lady Diamond swooned in her chair, reading and rereading the passionate words. Finally, she would be meeting her imperial lover outside of the borders of secret letters and messages. As the gentlewoman had predicated Diamond was a bit nervous, but excited as well. Her heart quickened in her breast. When they had last met Ardenne had just become the Dukedom of Ardenne-Chance. Her little brother had been whining, at seven years old his only concern had been why he wasn't called "king" anymore. Only Diamond and her mother, the regent, understood what was truly at stake. Diamond had been so focused on trying to ingratiate herself and her ladies with the imperial nobility that she hadn't noticed when a masked gentlewoman led her away. They had danced, oh they had danced, but before she knew it Diamond was home, her imperial partner gone across the mountains. When the first letter came, Diamond had been ecstatic.

The next day Castle deAudinot was in an uproar of packing. Beds, linens, servents, and gifts were being loaded onto balloon wagons to be lifted over the mountains. With her mother supervising the packing and the final alterations of their ball dresses, Lady Diamond was left minding her brother, the boy Duke, Isaac. Unlike other little children with incredible power Isaac, Diamond thought, was very well mannered and polite. Always minding his tutors and his governess.

Diamond's ladies doted on Isaac, asking him about books he read and asking him to try their homemade sweets. Isaac loved the attention, but was still bashful, as a boy of 8 usually was. Diamond looked down at the commotion with a smile, she was sure that Isaac would be an amazing Duke when he was older.

Isaac's guard, Sir Patrick, stood near the door with Garratte, both knowing that the coming days would bring stress. Everyone was trying to keep their minds off of the chaos to come. Even Diamond, she occupied her hands and her mind with what seemed like a meaningless craft. "Gentlewoman" was what her lover called herself. Meaning that both gender and class stood in the way of them being together. Diamond was the Grand Duchess of Ardenne-Chance, first in line to her little brother's thrown. She didn't care, but being of a lower rank probably meant that the gentlewoman didn't have the comforts that Diamond was used to. Even the imperial family probably didn't have some of the things that Diamond was used to. Namely jewels. Ardenne-Chance was nothing but mountains, beautiful mountains sure, but mountains nonetheless. But inside of their blue-gray rocks housed a fortune. Sapphires, rubies, emeralds, agates, and even her namesake, diamond, were found in blunk in the Chance Mountains. Lady Diamond's mother, the regent, suspected their wealth was part of the reason the empire had wanted them in the first place.

In anticipation of their meeting Diamond was making her gentlewoman a pocket watch. Well, the watch had been made by a watchmaker, but Diamond was decorating it. Spread out on a work table was a wealth of multi-covered diamonds. Only diamonds, when her lover looked at the watch she wanted her to think of her. But, Diamond couldn't help but think, she may already be used to such luxuries. She had been having doubts for months now. Her "gentlewoman" seemed too educated, too serious, too philosophical to be a simple gentlewoman. Diamond knew that her lover might be lying about her identity, but she didn’t care. She loved her “gentlewoman”, no matter who she was.

Diamond did up the watch face with dark blue and white diamonds, making miniature mounts that shimmered in the light. Their white caps were like a dusting of fresh snow, and their blue expanse was breathtaking. It was the Chance mountains. When her lover used the watch, Diamond had also decorated the hands with blue diamond dust and the numbers with white, she would see Diamond’s birthplace and the most important and beautiful place to her. It was the perfect gift, and it would never break, not with the new jewelry epoxy that had been developed recently by court inventors.

And it was finished just in time. Diamond hardly had time to slip the gift into a papered box and into her pocket before she had to bundle up her brother and her ladies into a half dozen fine balloon coaches. With the guiding fire being controlled by an expert balloonist they glided over the mountains in style, passing over tiered farms and glittering mountainside mines. As they passed over villages Diamond leaned out of the carriage window to wave, savoring the sight of her subjects waving back. Her mother had been the main driver of the unification treaty but Diamond had worked diligently from the sidelines, keeping everyone happy and open-minded, all for the good of her people. When they were flying over the poorer mountain communities, villages packed tightly in rocky outcroppings and nestled onto small plateaus Diamond dung into her purse. Children ran under the carriage hoping to catch the luxuries she threw out. From the other carriages as well the rain began. Even though the economy of Ardenne-Chance was quite tightly controlled, the wealth of gems could lead to rapid deflation if left alone, the nobles still tried to give back whenever they could. From her carriage Diamond threw crystalized roses and elegantly shaped sapphires, waving all the while. It was the highlight of her day, knowing that a simple handout from her would prevent starvation for several seasons. And for her mother, the regent, it was a guarantee that there would be less grain on the national poor service.

After two days of constant travel, they were finally at the capital. Verdun was an amazing city, just as it had to be. Its white spires and paved roads were a testament to the empire’s power. The power to build up cities out of nothing, to give everyone a home, and still have money left over for huge palaces and museums. The Ardenne-Chance delegation touched down in front of the Eastsinger Palace. It was an imposing, but surprisingly beautiful place. Large glass windows and towers carved out of purple-hued rock. The moat was full of crystal clear water with flowers growing from the depths.

“I’ve always hated this place,” Diamond’s mother, Gwen, whispered in her ear, “Pretending they are all nice and airy, while in truth their hearts are as cold as ice.”

Not all of their hearts Diamond thought.

Palace servants and even some nobles immediately flooded out of the front doors to help them get their things in order. Gwen had been shocked when the invitation to the Equinox Masquerade came, but she had taken it in stride. She had arranged for them to arrive a week early for diplomatic meetings, ceremonies, and games. Diamond and her brother were going to be busy, but she had made sure to clear her schedule the morning after the ball. Normally, back in Ardenne-Chance, Diamond was busy reviewing policy, talking to the council, and asking the citizenry how legislation affected them. In the empire, they had no official duties, but perhaps the work they would be doing would be harder. Diamond was naturally kind, but she had been taught cunning and intrigue by her mother. Her mother was confident in her skills of subterfuge and diplomacy, but Diamond was nervous about dealing with the imperial nobles. They were said to be more cunning than Ardenne-Chance nobles, and Diamond just hoped that she didn’t accidentally get caught up in any imperial intrigues.

Diamond got to her rooms without problem, though she did walk a little faster than normal. The imperial guard seemed large and unwilling, without a smile anywhere near his face. Her ladies also seemed nervous, Diamond’s lady of honor, Prudent, practically bolted the door once they were inside. The rest of the ladies had to be escorted to their own chambers, but Prudent was sleeping with Diamond. She normally did, the nights in Ardenne-Chance got cold even when they were indoors, so it was nice to sleep next to another person.

“There is tea in an hour, we should change quickly,” Prudent said, slightly out of breath.

Diamond tried to slow her racing heart because she knew Prudent was right. Another downside of their packed schedule was that they would have no time to catch their breaths. Quickly, in time for tea, Diamond and Prudent changed. Diamond, knowing that her mother wanted to make a show, bedecked herself in a light blue silk gown with gold trim and matching gold and sapphire rings, bracelets, and a tiara. Prudent was richly dressed in yellow, but not that richly dressed. Diamond found the rules on her lady’s dress were ridiculous, with the number of gems that Diamond wore there was no way they could outshine her, but her mother didn’t think like that.

As they were walking to tea, escorted by two more ladies and guards, Diamond looked around the castle. The walls were covered in rich tapestries and the floors in gleaming wood. Diamond couldn’t imagine the wealth of servants that were needed to keep up with everything. Beautiful paintings were hung on each corner, but Diamond thought their subjects ruined the image. At one corner there was a large portrait of the imperial royal family, the Cold Emperor with his dark furious stare, the Eternal Bride Queen with her youthful smile and blushing cheeks even at 55, the Mysterious Twins one with a dark smile and the other with a playful smirk, and the Freezing Princess she stared out with piercing brown eyes seemingly aware that she would have to step over her brothers to get the imperial throne. While the Queen was beautiful and happy, the rest of the family sent chills down Diamond’s spine. She was happy when they finally sat down for tea in a comfortable green papered sitting room.

After tea, it was the drafting of joint legislation with her mother and Isaac, after the legislation was done there was dinner, after dinner, there was a small play to attend. The next morning Diamond got up and did it all over again. The only thing that kept her going, through the odd looks and lingo she didn’t understand, was the letter she got from her lover.

Again the fact that the letter was able to appear inside of her writing desk testifies that her lover wasn’t a simple gentlewoman. Perhaps she had an important position in the palace? Diamond didn’t know how else a random woman would be able to have access to her, a Grand Countess’s, chambers. Still, that didn’t stop her from soaring the letter.

My heart, it is a happy day now that you are here. Thought guilt creeps into my thoughts. I know you, I have seen you laughing, sparkling in your gowns, about the palace but you have not seen me. Even if you did see me you would not know me, and I would cry at the thought of your chocolatey diamond eyes sliding over me like I was a stranger to me. Still, soon you will know me, just as much as I know you. My mask shall be in the style of a golden eagle and I shall lift my wings for you, my love. Soaring above the clouds is nothing if you aren’t there with me.

Soon, my dear, soon. Wait for me,

Imperial Gentlewoman

Diamond was waiting, and she was waiting patiently. Every night, before crawling into bed with Prudent, she brushed the smooth, silky purple feather velvet of her dress every night and tried on her amethyst studded mask. The ball couldn’t come sooner.

Eventually, the ball did come, and the Ardenne-Chance delegation met in the regent’s rooms to get ready. Even though Diamond was a natural leader she let her mother take the lead. Her ladies, her little brother’s entourage, Gwen’s own ladies, and other various Ardeen, paid rapt attention as Gwen spoke. She and Isaac were at the center of the room, Gwen telling them who and who not to speak to and in what way, and Isaac just standing there in his little cream and diamond suit looking adorable. Isaac had been brought along to every important meeting and legislative drafting, Gwen thought that it was important for him to learn what it was like.

With the strategy meeting over, everyone put on their masks. Full face masks were the dress code, but everyone could tell they were from Ardenne-Chance. No one else would be wearing as many jewels.

Getting into the marble ballroom, Diamond was stunned and Isaac audibly gasped. Even though she had been in the ballroom before, it always stunned her. It was in excellent taste. Gold liveried servants glided around holding trays of crystal glasses full of golden wine and the band played on a circular stage in the middle of the bright place. The high ceiling was covered in skylights, letting in silver moonlight that contrasted nicely with all of the gold.

Diamond had already arranged everything, within her mother’s guidelines of course. From the last masquerade, she knew the routine. Plenty of flirty buoyed by plenty of alcohol. Everyone drinking and dancing. Diamond had pre-scheduled her dances, as was the custom, but she had arranged it so they carried her further and further away from her friends and family. Her dances also allowed her to scan the entire ballroom, looking for a golden eagle mask or deep blue coat. When her dances were running out, she had scheduled 15 in advance, Diamond started getting worried. The count she was dancing with was sweet, but she wasn’t looking for a sweet man, she was looking for her lover.

The end of her dances came up and Diamond was left with tears forming in her eyes on the edge of the dance floor. She could see Prudent on the other end of the ballroom and Diamond had just started walking toward her when someone tapped her shoulder. Before she turned around Diamond prepared an appropriate response, tapping a Grand Countess on the shoulder was an odd gesture of impotence and Diamond was kind of scared. But when she turned around, Diamond’s heart melted. She should have known who would be so bold as to tap her on the shoulder.

From the ground up she was wearing a modern light blue gown, royal blue coat with gold buttons, and an elegant tapered gold mask with golden feathers. For the first time in her life Diamond was speechless and it seems like her lover was as well. Diamond didn’t consider herself especially attractive, especially with the mask, but her lover seemed blinded by beauty.

“May-,” her lover paused as her breath hitched, “May I have the next dance, your grace?”

Unlike the confident passion of her letter in real life, her lover seemed nervous. They didn’t dance on the main floor, instead, they danced off of the floor and out of the ballroom. They didn’t speak while they were walking, only the retreating sounds of the ball and their own footsteps. Diamond was aching to rip off her lover’s mask and finally see the face of her beloved, but she was patient. Instead, she let her lover lead her down narrow halls and a few of what she assumed were secret passages. There was no time to ask where they were going, Diamond just had to trust her lover.

Eventually, they got to a small balcony overlooking the city. Unlike in Ardenne-Chance, where the mountains seemed dark and haunting, in the empire, the lights of the city were clustered close together. Lantern bearers were comets streaking across the city and clubs were stars, sparkling in the darkness. Her lover leaned over the railing and when Diamond leaned in close her lover put her arm across her shoulder. The warmth of her coat was intoxicating, Diamond smiled and looked upon the golden mask.

“Thank you for coming, my love, I know that the journey must have been tedious and you have no great love for the empire,” Diamond looked away from her lover’s shining brown eyes. Her mother still blamed the stress of the empire for driving her father into an early grave, but while Diamond was sad about her father’s passing and the situation she found herself in, she was quite neutral on the empire. Their armies were brutal, yes, and their emperor was cruel and callous, but no one can deny their conquered territories prospered after their rule.

“I would go anywhere, and do anything for you.” Diamond blushed as she took off her mask. Her face was a picture of love and devotion.

Her lover took her hands into hers and faced her, “No, my jewel, it is I who will do everything for you.”

The gentlewoman reached up to her mask, Diamond’s heart jumped, but when she took it off it was Diamond’s turn to audibly gasp. Brown eyes that glittered with heat and passion, and an expression like melted ice. Even though the woman before her looked thousands more cheerful and lovely Diamond still recognized her.

“But you are the imperial princess,” Diamond stammered, “You are to be empress.”

“Yes,” Princess Jordan said, her voice melting, “And you are to be my queen.”

Without warning, Jordan kissed her, a soft touch of lips so vulnerable and tender. It was more of a question than an assertion “Do you still love me?” the kiss asked Diamond. And Diamond said yes, she leaned into the kiss and let herself melt into Jordan. Their love was already forbidden, did it really matter how forbidden? Diamond had already learned how to ignore the world, it didn’t matter who Jordan was. All it mattered was that she loved her.

Lol, I love Friday Night Frights. I can never think of prompts, and this one was really good. Have an amazing weekend you guys (I know it's Saturday now, sorry I was tired last night). 😊😊😊

@promptsforthestrugglingauthor

[korra-the-red-lion]

Unnatural Affairs. Chapter 3: Rookie Hazing?

(Lyn)

My breathing fell into my familiar breathing pattern as I jogged through the town. The early morning sun was peeking through the clouds, trying to be seen. My music was blasting through my earbuds as I turned to go through the walking trail this morning.

Today was the first day of actual classes and practices. Me and a few of the others already have been to the pool a bunch this week, but this is when shit got real. After the disappointing loss to Turner University at last year’s AUS, Coach Jacob and team really wanted to get the title this year. It was one thing to lose, it was another thing all together to lose by 1 fucking point. Ugh, even just thinking about it pissed me off. Turner is a good school, don’t get me wrong. But man, we worked our assess off last year.

I passed by an older couple going out for their usual morning walk. I waved to them as I always do, earning a smile in return. I liked the coziness of this small town. Being able to see the same people every morning doing their routine as I did was relaxing and brought a sense of calm to my otherwise chaotic life.

I sprinted the final couple of kilometers home, slowing down as I approached the track around the football field. Loryn, Maddie, and Andrew where already there, chatting as they stretched for their early morning workout.

Loryn smiled when she saw me coming and tossed me my water bottle. I pulled out my music and took a huge swig from it. “Thanks, I really needed that,” I said. I lifted the end of my shirt and wiped the sweat and water off my face.

“No problem-o,” she responded. “How was your run?”

“Same as usual,” I said as I take another drink.

Andrew walked over and gave me a huge hug. “Ready for the season, Lyn?”

I nodded into his shoulder, holding onto his shirt. Andrew was the captain of the Men’s team, and he was like an older brother to me. This was his last year on the team, and I really wanted to win the championship for him and the other 4th years. They put so much into this program, and just one win would be an awesome reward for them.

“Please don’t cry, or I might start too,” he mumbled.

“Not crying,” I pulled away, grinning at him. “I’m just thinking of how lame the team’s gonna be once you finally retire from it. Are they gonna make Will the captain next year, because like, yeesh.”

This earned a laugh from Andrew. “Well, I frigging hope not. Y’all better vote for Oliver, or Thom. If Will gets the captain position next year, you’re all doomed.”

“Fuck me with a rusty screw if Will gets it,” said Maddie bitterly. “The only thing bigger than his ego is his Hummer. I swear, I will never get over his parents airlifting that thing across the fucking country.”

It’s not like we hated Will or anything, he just was a huge pain in the ass. Both his parents are doctors, and he makes a point of letting you know how much money he has. During his first year here, apparently, his parents had his Hummer helicoptered across the country so he could have it here. Not sure why he didn’t drive the damned thing instead, but the rich do very extreme and extravagant things to prove their wealth. Maddie is a 3rd year like Will, so she’s been putting up with his Will-ness longer than Loryn or I.

We did our usual morning workout routine, just to get used to the rhythm again. Medicine ball tosses to each other with an added squat. After that, 2 sets of 20 jackknifes, 2 sets of 25 crunches, and 2 sets of 1 minute plank. We did our wheelbarrow run across the football field, giggling like fools as we did. Andrew and Maddie beat me and Loryn by a fingertip. Loryn jokingly apologized for being too short, a running joke on the team.

After that, we headed to food hall. Loryn liked to make fun of me for calling it that, since it was technically called meal hall, but that’s where I get all my food, not just meals. Hence, food hall. Still, she immediately started teasing me as we got near it.

The hall was abuzz with all the new frosh and returning students talking about their classes. It was nice to see this place so lively after being essentially dead for the week. I could already hear people talking about going to First Class Bash, the big first party of the year. I never really went to those often, parties that is, since the team had a drinking ban in place as soon as the season started. Maybe if some of the guys on the team wanted to go I would, but I was just as happy to stay in with the goofballs and have our own get together.

Oh shit, speaking of. The rookie party was this weekend, actually. It almost slipped my mind. Today was their official first day. It may sound weird, but Coach Jacob liked having them come for their own practice to get used to each other and the facilities first. That way, if they don’t feel like sticking around, there’s none of that awkward shame of seeing your ex-teammates on campus. Not that anyone actually gave a shit.

I sat down next to Matt and Kerry, two members of the team. They were nearly identical twins, but with different body builds since they swam different strokes. Matt was bulkier in his shoulders and trunk cuz he swam butterfly like I did, while Kerry was leaner but a bit bowlegged from swimming breaststroke for so many years. Kerry was letting her hair grow out after shaving it last year, and it was tied up in this stupidly adorable tiny ponytail, while Matt had shaved his hair into practical buzzcut. Kerry leaned over once I was settled and pointed.

“Did you see?”

“Did I see what?” I asked as I shoved the whole fried egg into my mouth.

“Derek is sitting with Poppy.”

I rolled my eyes. Derek Freeman was one of my exes from last year. Lyn from first year got a little crazy when it came to dating, and I ended up going through 6 different people before finally calling it quits. Derek was one of them, but he was by far the worse. He got super possessive and couldn’t understand why I dumped his creepy ass. He always knew my schedule and followed me everywhere. He would wait for me outside the pool and walk back to my res with me, which would have been super sweet if he didn’t ask to come inside every single time. Even after we broke up, he still followed me places. Eventually he got the message once I started dating Willa Hoffman, but man was he annoying.

Then there was Poppy. There was nothing wrong with her, per se. We just were partners on a project last year and she nearly cost me getting an A+ in Intro to Sociology, much to my annoyance. I cared a lot, maybe a little bit too much, about my grades. So, yeah, there’s nothing that really pisses me off more when you get stuck with a shit partner for a project.

“Honestly, Ker, I don’t care,” I said. “Hell, they deserve each other IMO.”

Kerry shrugged as she got back into her seat properly, finally letting Matt get back to eating. We ate in comfortable silence before Matt spoke up.

“Gunner is on probation.”

I dropped my fork in confusion. Even Kerry looked confused. “What do you mean, Matt?” I asked, leaning against the table as I did, locking eyes with him.

He sighed and ran a hand over his head. “Okay, don’t tell anyone because I’m not supposed to know, but Gunner was caught doing drugs this summer. Like, coke. Anyway, Jacob heard about it and helped him through rehab and stuff, but the dean put him on probation until his grades and attitude prove that he actually got clean.”

“Shiiiiiiit,” I pushed my tray away. Leo Gunner was the best sprinter on the team, leading the Men’s team to having great scores in the relay last year. If he wasn’t allowed to swim this season, we might be in serious trouble. There was no one as fast as him. The next best would be Parker, and even then, he wasn’t near Gunner’s level.

“Oh, that’s awful,” said Kerry, putting her hand over her mouth.

Matt nodded. “Yeah, it’s shit for sure. I talked to him this morning and apparently, he’s allowed to practice, but he might not be allowed to sign up for the meets. I think Jacob might bring it up to Andrew and Emma today, but he might not let the rest of the team know just yet.”

The information sat heavy in my stomach. I walked all the way to my class with my mind racing, wondering if there was any way we could fight this decision. All conclusions came to a resounding no. The university was pretty strict about athletes using illegal substances. They only thing that probably saved his ass was that it happened this summer.

I took my usual spot near the front, waiting for the rest of the students to fill in. This was a second-year history course, and I really wanted to be psyched for it, considering history was my favourite subject, but it was hard when I was worrying about things out of my control.

“Mind if I sit?”

I looked over and nearly groaned when I saw it was Will. I nodded, but he was already taking the seat anyway. I hated sitting next to Will, he just sat on Instagram the whole time, or TikTok. Fuck my life right now.

He reached over and tugged on my ear. “Why the long face, Lyn?”

I batted his hand away. He knew I was self-conscious of how big my ears were, and he liked to pick at that at any opportunity. “No long face here, Will.” I forced a grin onto my face before turning my attention back to my desk.

“Whatever you say.”

Ugh, def getting a new seat on Thursday. I can’t deal sitting next to him and dealing with his antics at practice too. There was only so much abuse one gal could take for the day.

XXX

Thank God it was Friday!

I managed my schedule perfectly, so I had no classes on Friday. It made the other days more miserable for sure, but having a three-day weekend every week? Exactly what I needed to stay on top of things this year. Just practice in the afternoon, and I was free to enjoy myself. The rookie party was tomorrow, and they were a good batch. Loryn’s younger sister Robin joined the team this year, which was super exciting for her.

I got to enjoy breakfast without having to rush it, plus no homework was assigned this week. Today was a nice one, and I was looking forward to just being able to chill and enjoy it. As I left, I happened to notice that Ally was leaving the food hall. Grinning, I raced over to where she was.

“Hey, Ally!” I fell into step beside her.

“Lyn!” Ally looked up at me, a smile breaking out. She had her hair in this half up pinned style, it looked really good on her. Also, she was wearing different glasses today. She usually wore some rectangle ones, but these ones were like a half moon shape.

“How’s your first week, frosh?” I asked.

“Well, after the disaster that was the bookstore incident…” she looked down, thinking about something before shaking her head. “It’s been lovely. I think once I get into a nice routine, I won’t feel as anxious.”

I was curious about the whole bookstore thing, but I respected that she clearly wasn’t ready to talk about it openly with me. Fair enough, we only just met last week, and I barely have seen her since.

“Hey, well, I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself so far! Is it cool if I walk with you until your next class? I’m free.”

“Oh,” she smiled shyly at me, “that would be really nice, actually.”

I smiled back. We chatted about her classes all the way to Bennet, where her class was. I leaned against the wall as she finished explaining something about her drama class. That was a class I took in first year, but it sounds like she has Professor Kinkly, whereas I had Professor Statton. Kinkly was more by the book, Statton was know as the campus kook. I had a feeling Ally was gonna like Kinkly more.

“I guess I should head in, huh?”

“I guess you should. But hey,” I said, “we should totally hang this weekend, you know? Whatcha doing tomorrow?”

Ally looked contemplative before shaking her head. “Nothing, I think.”

“Perfect! Let’s grab a bite to eat, and you can finish telling me all about your week.”

“O-okay, sounds great!”

Ally wished me a goodbye and dashed inside, as to not be late for class. I watched her go before snorting under my breath. I liked her, she was smart and funny. It would be nice to have someone as a friend outside the team. Guess it was just my lucky day when she approached that table I forced Loryn to help me set up.  

Feeling great, I practically skipped all the way back to my res.

XXX

The smell of chlorine was something that was never going to get old. It calmed me when nothing else could. I know that sounds a little dramatic, but the pool is my second home. Didn’t matter how I felt at home or school or whatever, I could come to a pool and swim those thoughts and troubles away.

We finished with our pre-practice routines, and I jumped into the pool, shivering a little as the cold water enveloped my body. Right away everything felt amazing. Reach, pull, reach, pull. The easy lazy rhythm of the warmup let my thoughts drift away. It was nearing the end of the warmup when I caught Andrew’s eye underwater during my turn, and we ended up racing our last 25 meters. He beat me and we high fived as I hung onto the lane rope.

Coach Jacob laughed as the others finished their warmups. He was a retired swimmer himself and did things to keep himself in shape. He had one of those kind faces that really made you feel welcomed. Sure, he could be a hard ass, but he just really wanted win, like we all did.

He read practice off the board for us, and we did as was instructed. In in a blink of an eye, practice was over, and we were all hauling our asses out of the pool. Practice wasn’t too hard today, but since it’s been a while since any of us had structure like that, we all felt the ache of the week catching up with us finally.

“Okay, gather ‘round!” Coach Jacob called out. We all headed towards the bench and took seats. Loryn sat next to me and we cuddled, trying to not freeze as we listened to what he had to say.

“So, this is the last year for some of us,” he indicated the 4th years with a nod, “and a new beginning for others,” a nod to the 1st years. “However, the goal is the same. We wanna be number one at AUS’s this year. We wanna send people to CIS’s this year. We wanna kick Turner’s stupid butt all over the pool deck. We start morning practice next week, 5:30 sharp, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Gym time is 6:00 on Tuesday and Thursday. We have our usual afternoon practice at 4:30 every day. If you can’t make practice, the reason better be fucking good. Rookies, never be afraid to ask questions. These guys are your family while you’re here, and like family, sometimes we don’t always get along. But try your best to stay pleasant with the others. Lastly, welcome to the Mount Seamus Wolves!” he finished with a huge grin. We clapped and headed into the locker rooms, where a hot shower was calling my name.

“Man, I am looking forward to the weekend!” Loryn said with a huge stretch as we grabbed our shampoo and conditioner.

“Me too,” I said with a grin. “I already made plans.”

“Oh my God, shut up! Who with?”

“That cute frosh from last week.”

Loryn scrunched up her face in thought. “Gabriel or the brunette you showed around?”

I laughed, hitting her playfully with my towel. “Dude, you’re the only one who thinks Gabe is cute, you know?”

“Not true! I know Jackie does too!”

“Damn right I do!” Jackie said, walking by us with a laugh.

We all laughed as we turned the water on. It felt great to take a hot shower after practice. We were gossiping about people on campus when I noticed something strange.

“Emma, are you okay?”

Emma, the captain for the Women’s team, looked over. “Huh, why you ask?”

I blinked. “Because you’re covered in…blood?”

She looked up and shrieked. Sure enough, something red and gooey was coming from the shower head. Actually, it was coming from all the showers! We all screamed and ran out, not even bothering to turn them off.

“What the actual fuck?” Emma was shaking with either anger or fear, wasn’t sure which it was. “Did someone think it would be funny to prank the rookies or something?” She whipped around to glare at all of us.

When no one fessed up, she growled in annoyance. “Okay, maybe one of the guys thought it would funny? Whoever did this, it’s seriously fucked up. Getting sprayed with fake blood is not how I wanted to end my Friday night!”

“Uh, not to be that person, Emma,” I said hesitantly, “but if it was fake blood…wouldn’t it have stopped by now?” I pointed over to the running showers, where a steady stream of red was still coming out.

Emma’s face paled. She looked at her hands, where the blood was and sniffed it. “Oh my God…it smells like copper.”

That’s when Jackie threw up all over the floor and Kerry burst into tears.

XXX

I was in my room, curled up under all the blankets I could possibly be curled under. We texted the boys after, to see if something similar happened to them. When Andrew and Matt both responded no, we got even more freaked out. We ended up calling campus security for them to see if there was something they could do about it. They said they would look into and escorted us back to our residences. I took such a scalding hot shower that I was still pink from it, but I still didn’t feel clean.

The group chat was blowing up with questions. The poor rookies were understandably upset. They thought someone was trying to haze them, but that wasn’t the case at all. Hazing wasn’t something we did anymore. They didn’t do it in my first year, and Emma said that her class was the last one that got hazed.

I didn’t have the energy to be dealing with this, so I muted the chat for the time being. Nura was sitting on her bed, her eyes on her computer screen but I could see her looking at me from time to time. I mean, I would be too. If Nura came back and told me that she just ended up taking a blood shower, I would be fucking concerned too.

I rolled over and tugged at my ear. It was habit of mine when I was anxious about something, and I was definitely anxious about this. If it turned out to be a stupid prank from one of the other teams, that would be one thing. But if it wasn’t…then what did it mean?

I had this crazy thought, pulling my phone up to my face. I wanted to see if it happened any time else. I did a quick Google search, and found out that this wasn’t the first time that something like this happened at this school. It was in 1968, and in 1995, and again in 2007. Okay, that was interesting.

Okay, so unless someone was dumping bodies into a water reservoir that only affected the women’s locker room, something freaky was going on. I’m not that big into that spiritual mumbo jumbo, but I’m not going to deny that this was more than a coincidence. However, it was history, something I specialized in. If I could trace back and see if there were any more connections, maybe I can establish a pattern.

That was a problem for Lyn of tomorrow, however. I was thoroughly exhausted after tonight’s events. I bookmarked the page on my phone, just so I wouldn’t forget. I was going to need my laptop for this.

I just hoped I could find something that can explain what the hell happened.