#my cat is missing and i cant sleep

[violentviolette]

can't sleep. my cats been missing since yesterday afternoon. this'll be her second night not here and the longest she's ever been away from home. its been raining all day. its still raining. my wife thinks she might have gotten stuck up a tree. she hates the cold and being wet. also heights. she doesn't like jumping up to high places. we think she fell out of a tree when she was a kitten before I found her.

I looked for her all day and into tonight. stopped once it got too dark. gonna keep looking once the sun comes up again and I know I need go sleep before that happens

ive never actually bonded with an animal before but ive also never had one as long as ive had her. its been 10 years. ive also never had one go missing. i dont like new feelings. ive had 3 panic attacks and started crying like a dozen times. ive checked all over the house, every floor every room top to bottom over and over again. pretty much once every hour. I checked outside 4 times but I didn't search the trees in the backyard. thats the first thing I'm gonna check in the morning. I want to check now but its pitch black and I dont have a good enough flashlight. but its raining. its raining and she hates the rain and heights and the cold

I dont actually know what I'll do if shes dead. not finding her would somehow be worse. id just worry forever.. I still don't know how she got out, if she got out. my wife keeps telling me there's no way she's just dead inside the house. she wasn't sick. or old. theres nothing she could eat that would poison her. if she'd fallen inside and snapped her neck we'd have found her by now. the dogs would know and be acting weird. by tomorrow wed start to smell her.. shes gotta be outside

I just want her to be somewhere. anywhere. Its driving me insane that I dont know where she is or what's happening to her or where to find her. I dont even have a clue. she just disappeared into thin air. she's not an outside cat. everywhere I look and everything I do is a guess or a shot in the dark. I dont know what to do so im not doing enough. I could look for her better if I knew where she was. if I knew anything at all other than that I saw her in the kitchen yesterday afternoon and then haven't seen her since. I hate not knowing things I hate not having information I hate not knowing what the right thing to do next is. theres too many variables and too many options and I just don't know.

I spent all day tearing apart the house looking for her. what if shes been outside the whole time. I could have been looking outside more. I could have found her by now. what if I keep wasting more time and more days go by because I just don't know

I hate not knowing. it makes u make the wrong decisions. u dont know and then u do the wrong thing and then u get the bad outcome because u didn't know. I hate it I hate it I hate it. this is why I need to know everything all the time because if I just know things I can fix it. I never have enough information to just fucking fix it

I need to go to sleep. I want my cat back.

[icyfox17]

Homeeee:)))!!!!

[beegswaz]

ON DA FUCKINT GRIND 💪💪💪💪💪💪🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[napping-sapphic]

so so sleepy but cat is ON my legs so i can’t move into comfortable sleeping position so can’t fall asleep but can’t stay awake but SOO ready for sleepy tired sleep but CANT because CAT

[danielnelsen]

there’s so much i wanna do this week/month/etc but i’m just too sick, i have no energy, i can’t sleep, i’m constantly nauseous and headachey and on the verge of a migraine, i’m stressed and irritable and impatient and panicky…….how tf did i survive nearly 5 years of high school untreated if i can’t even manage this when i don’t have any major obligations rn

[critterbutt]

only been out of my house like 3 or 4 hours and i already want to go home

[disneyfairies]

snores

[the-void-has-questions]

More HFTH doods :D most of this page was done on an Airplane so. Like. Pardon the messiness :)

[arckhaic]

the dreams that feel real ( like ur in ur bed sleeping and get 'woken up' in the dream and ur like huh ) do a number on me bc i have to spend the next several hours convincing myself i'm both real and awake

[im-still-watching-anime]

our cat keeps laying on me and simply refusing to allow me time to get into a comfortable position first so here’s some godawful pictures i took of her as payback

[dilsdoes]

there are moments when i am not physically washin me n my clothes. im not washin me. and im not washing my clothes. but spiritually? im washin me n my clothes bitch.

[4giorno]

i got the cutscene <3

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

RATS are NOT your friends at night while you're reading a scary book

[nyelaexe]

One thing I will always appreciate about my mom is that she never judged me for my hyperfixations through the years. She gave me room to love whatever I wanted to. She never made fun and she never thought I was weird. She always supported me and, in fact, she even enjoyed them with me.

She'd watch One Direction music videos with me when I was a teenager. She even took me to see the 1D movie in theaters on a school day and she saved her movie ticket. I hate that I wasn't able to find it when we cleaned out her apartment. I remember her crying at the party where Zayn bought his mom a house. To this day she would listen to History. She sent me a link to the mv in August and reminisced on the days when life was easier.

In my later teenage to young adult years she would watch kpop videos with me. We would watch BTS and Astro videos in her room. I remember after Jonghyun passed away I watched Before Our Spring for the first time with her because I was too sad to watch in on my own. She ended up really liking BTS and she'd call me into her room whenever they were on TV. I have videos of her in my phone dancing to Move by Taemin.

We'd even watch anime together. We watched about 7 or 8 episodes of Death Parade and she really liked it. I didn't think she really cared all that much but every now and again she would bring the show up and tell me how much she like it. I hate that we were never able to finish all 12 episodes.

I always thought she'd pretend to be interested in my hobbies to humor me. Whenever I would go to her room and pull up kpop on the TV or watch Sohyang performances with her I would apologize and tell her "I know you don't really care, we don't have to watch if you don't want to." And she would always tell me to stop saying stuff like that. She was so happy to just hang out with me. She was interested in the things I like because I liked them and they made me happy. My brother would make little jokes about my interests from the time I was like 9 years old and obsessed with Justin Bieber. I know they were just jokes but, being a little black kid, I always felt weird about the media I consumed. My mom never made me feel like I was doing anything wrong by liking what I liked. I was able to explore all kinds of stuff and I'm so grateful to her.

[mosquitinho]

my cats arent here anymore!!!!!!! They really realy arent !!!! What the fuck!!!!!!!!

[trees-to-meet-you]

I was not expecting to be grieving my childhood cat who died back in 2020 tonight, but here we are