#coffee tastes like ass btw i hate drinking this shit but i need to LOCK TF IN.

[beegswaz]

ON DA FUCKINT GRIND 💪💪💪💪💪💪🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[from-a-reckless-writer]

Okay so I wrote a thing. Well. Actually I got a writing prompt and thought hey, why not? And SO JUST A HEADS-UP THO, THIS ISN'T SIX RELATED LIKE ALL OF MY OTHER POSTS THIS IS JUST ME WRITING A SHORT STORY AND SEEING HOW IT GOES. SO YEAH. btw, @timetoriseabove thanks for the push.

HERE GOES NOTHING...

Who? Who could I call?

I looked at the time, 2 fucking o’clock in the morning. What a great time to deal with this kind of bullshit. So right, who could I call? I can’t call Dad, because if I call Dad I’m pretty sure that in less than 30 minutes the whole family would know what kind of shit I landed myself in again. No, actually not just my family but our entire family tree including that one cousin I hate. I also can’t call Joel, if I call Joel and then he would tell Dad and again, we can’t let Dad know. Oh I know! I could call Aunt Hazel, after all she’s my favorite aunt for a reason.

We can’t call Aunt Hazel, remember that incident last Sunday, the one where you played your I’m-Your-Favorite-Niece-So-Please-Help-Me Card?

Fuck, right I forgot about that, and yeah Aunt Hazel has done me way too many favors, more than I can count. How about Cathy though? I could call Cathy right? No, no, I can’t call Cathy because Cathy’s got a flight tomorrow and that flight was the sole reason why we went celebrating and what inevitably landed me here. So yes, call Cathy and tell her it’s her fault.

You do know it’s not her fault right? How about you call Ben?

Right, Ben have I mentioned Ben? See, Ben was actually the first choice I had in mind, before remembering that yeah, I never really did choose Ben first. Ben. Ben, who is the perfect person to call right now because Ben wouldn’t call my dad and tell my whole family. Ben, who would know what information he has to write down in the forms because he goddamn knows everything about me. Ben, who wouldn’t mind doing me a hundred favors. Ben, who I haven’t talked to in 2 months. My Ben-“So uhm, did you finally reach your emergency person?” my train of thought was cut down when the nurse cleared her throat and spoke to me, the police officer behind her also waiting for my response. God, who knows how long I’ve been here, surrounded by white tiles, blue curtains and the smell of hospitals that makes you sad. “Uh yeah, yeah I know who to call, he’ll be here in a minute.” The nurse nods and they both leave while I try to process the words I had just said. I don’t know who to call, fuck! I can’t believe this, I’m hiding again, hiding the pain. The shock actually came first before the pain, the pain that slowly seeped in and then the fear, because-God, that is way too much blood.

I take a deep breath, grab my phone and finally dialed a number

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“Hello?” I groggily answer, I didn’t look at the caller I.D because who the fuck calls at, I steal a glance at the clock on my nightstand-at 2 fucking 15 a.m-what the hell?

“Ben-“ one word, just one syllable really and I instantly know who was calling, Grace. Just like that, all traces of my sleepiness was gone. My mind instantly counted how long it has been since I last spoke to her. Two months, five days and-yeah it was probably a bad idea, but this was Grace. Grace! Godsake it only took one second for her to mess up his life again.

“Hi-uh-you there? Uh I’m sorry to call you I know it’s the middle of the night and-“ she mumbles, “Grace what is it?” I cut her off. “I uhm-I’m in the hospital.” I freeze “What? What hospital?” I’m fully awake now, immediately dressing up and instantly grabbing my green jacket in a hurry. I quickly get my keys, lock the door and by the time Grace has told me the full directions to the hospital, I was already starting up my car.

Just like that, just one word from Grace and all my attention is back on her. Everything is revolving around her again.

What do you mean again? “Again” is a word that implies you stopped. But you never really did stop did you?

“Hey, I’m really really sorry to bother you, promise it won’t take long. I just need someone to assist with the med forms and you can go quickly-“ Grace said through the phone, she was rambling, apologizing but there was something different in her voice. Hesitation maybe? “I promise it’s going to be quick and you don’t have to worry at all.”

I don’t know who you’re trying to convince, me or you.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“Hello,” he answered groggily. God Ben, do you always have to answer this quick? You didn’t even give me time to breathe.

It only took a couple of words from me and suddenly I can hear rustling from the other end. I can picture him, immediately grabbing his green jacket. His green jacket that I’ve worn way too many times, hung inside his room, his room that I’ve also been to, way too many times.

I hear the jangle of his keys and just like that my heart is beating even faster now. What will I say to him? I am so not ready for this. Hey thanks for saving my ass yet again? Thanks for doing this even if you shouldn’t really be doing this?

“Hey Grace you still there?” he asked, “Yeah, yeah I’m still here.”

He asked, and I can hear the fear in his voice. You know Ben, I can feel it too the fear, and I keep fearing that my answer to your question will always be “I’m here.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________

When I got out of the car, I went straight to the Emergency Room. There was a nurse near your bed and a police officer and the driver of the car that hit you. He looked young, like really young. He looked like he would shit his pants if I told his Dad that his car hit somebody.

When the officer saw me then the nurse and then you. They started to talking to me and handed me papers but it was hard to take my eyes off of you. There was a bandage wrapped around your entire left leg. A few bruises on your arm and a small cut under your eye. You looked bad. So bad that I now realize why you called me first. Yeah, because I know that you don’t want your family to know. I know so many things about you, but right now I don’t know what to say to you.

Because what the fuck do you say in a situation like this?

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Step.

Dizzy.

Step.

Head-spinning.

Step-

Flashing lights-

Whoosh! BANG!

Oh, shit.

Pain-

Pain-

Black.

“Here, coffee.” You gave me the cup, it tasted bland. Oh god, don’t even try to complain that it doesn’t taste like coffee. I know that you got the coffee from the vending machine down the hall. I don’t know what to say, because what to say in a situation like this? You can’t joke lightly, you can’t hug him, you can’t touch him. I can’t do anything right.

“Thank you-“ I started, “Pfft-it’s just coffee you don’t have to thank me.” you answer, you’re wearing the green jacket.

“No-I mean for coming and helping me and everything.” The coffee was hot that was why my hands were sweating. The coffee, not because he’s near me again and not because he’s running his fingers through his hair. It is also not because of the fact that you’re trying to avoid my eyes.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

There are 120 tiles inside this room.

Yeah because counting tiles is more interesting than her? Very convincing Ben.

“Why were you out so late? Why didn’t you just sleep at Cath’s?”

“Peter was there, it was their last night before Cath flies out tomorrow. I wanted them to-“

“Yeah, of course that’s it. Of course you want them to have that moment.” You sigh and shake your head.

“ You never drink.”

“What? Am I not allowed to drink all of a sudden?”

“You’re not allowed, if it’s just going to land you in situations like this! And I end up the one to pick it all over again, clean the mess!”

Whoa, and I thought breaking my left leg was painful enough, I guess it’s not. I stay quiet at your little outburst, I can hear you breathing heavily, I can hear you breaking.

“Then you shouldn’t have come.” I finally say.

“Then you shouldn’t have answered the phone in the first place.” I finish.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“I can’t.” I answer her.

I can’t because if I don’t come then, Grace that means it’s over.

“You didn’t really mean it like that, do you?”

“Mean what?” I ask playing innocent.

“It’s a quarter past 3.” There you go again, changing the subject, running, hiding. That’s what you like, that’s what you were good at. Asking me vague questions and giving me vague answers. Well, now it’s my turn to give you vague answers, it’s my turn to ask you vague questions.

“Grace what’s gonna be the ending?” I ask.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

“The sun will rise.”

I answer, I never really liked giving straightforward answers. I prefer the safety of mysteries and vagueness. But of course you already know that. You know everything. That’s why you asked me that question.

So, how will this end? I never liked these kind of situations, because they require the truth.

I never did like truths. But I guess a part of me doesn’t want to answer because maybe, I don’t want it to end. Not yet anyway. What I said was true though, the sun will rise and a new dawn will break. I wonder where will we find ourselves then?

SO YEAH IF U REACHED THIS PART THANK YOU FOR READING. LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS, OR IF I SHOULD STOP, IF U WANT TO GIVE ME A PROMPT. I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU GUYS.

Love from a reckless writer. 😘