#just because ive already forgotten how she sounded

[trees-to-meet-you]

I was not expecting to be grieving my childhood cat who died back in 2020 tonight, but here we are

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

Jake Seresin And The Unfortunate Hat Situation

jake seresin x fem!reader 3k words

summary: You’re visiting Jake’s family in Texas for the first time and so far, it’s been going well. Just that Jake may have forgotten to mention the hat rule. 

another cowboy fic because i fucking can

disclaimer: strong allusions to smut. im not kidding. this is basically straight up dirty talk all the way through

a/n: i’m warning you once about all the inaccuracies in here and thats it. read at your own risk. i have literally no clue whatsoever about texas and/or cowboys and did not have it in me to research cowboy history for hours on end, like- i tried, okay? i really did try. i know facts about cowboy hats now that i never felt the need to know (though “dont sleep with your cowboy hat on”, um... yeah? thanks? i totally would have done that otherwise) but i still do not have the information to back this shit up lmao

top gun masterlist

(yes i did have to use an everybody wants some gif. during the past week ive rewatched this film more times than i can count and i will take every opportunity i get to talk about it)

“Enlighten me”, you chuckled, spreading your arms, a bottle of beer in your right hand. “Why are none of the cowboys wearing cowboy hats? Isn’t that kind of their thing?”

You were visiting Texas for the first time - a week off of work, away from the Navy and the Dagger Squad for a bit, to meet Jake’s friends and family back home. You’d talked to most every one of them over the phone whenever he had found the time to call, but you’d never actually met them in person before this. So it had been an adventure from the start: getting on a plane in San Diego to take you to Texas where Jake had grown up, being picked up at the airport by his mother, driving two hours to the farm they owned (”You grew up on a farm?”, you’d asked when he’d told you, wheezing at the mental image of teenage Jake herding sheep), meeting his dad, being surprised by both his sisters, getting to see his childhood bedroom. 

And then, to top it off: the sound of his alarm at the crack of dawn this morning to go teach you how to ride a horse. 

Needless to say that you’d been buzzing with nervous energy for the past few days. Not that you weren’t happy - it was just all a bit much at once. 

After lunch he’d taken you into the city and you’d gone shopping for some real cowboy boots. He’d planned to take you to a bar in the evening, to introduce you to some friends. After all you only had a week here and neither of you felt like missing out on something. 

When you’d wanted to try cowboy hats in the store too, Jake had snatched them from you and grabbed your hands, pulling you close to him, telling you that you’d get one when you’d become a real cowgirl. Since you doubted that would ever happen, you’d pouted and tried to convince him with kisses and, when that hadn’t worked, half-hearted threats, but he wouldn’t be persuaded even the slightest. He’d only looked down at you with raised eyebrows until you’d caved and satisfied yourself with cursing under your breath. 

So here you were: Cowboy boots, jeans shorts and a button-up and no cowboy hat in sight. 

Actually, there was one in sight. Jake was wearing his, in all his Texan glory, laughing with some of his friends at the bar. The thing was, he was the only guy wearing his hat. There were some cowboys strutting about with them on their heads, but most of them didn’t have one - hat hair, yes, but no hat. Hence your initial question: “Why are none of the cowboys wearing cowboy hats?” 

“Shit, Jake didn’t tell you?”, Kendra - one of Jake’s only female friends here, who’d immediately decided she liked you and pulled you to one of the tables for some girl talk - let out a laugh. “No wonder it’s still on his head. We were getting worried already.” 

It was pretty clear to everyone that you weren’t from around here, so you saw no reason to hide your confusion.

“Now you’ve lost me entirely. What?”, you asked, masking your frown with a laugh. You’d been here for hardly two days and you didn’t think you’d felt as embarrassed ever before. You knew about literally nothing. At least you’d done somewhat well at horseback riding, which could’ve been because of Jake’s arms around you and his hands over yours as you - he - held the reins, but either way you were proud of yourself for not falling off and landing on your ass. 

“It’s like this: Ladies didn’t wear hats for a really long time. Cowboys wore the hats. So when you saw a lady with a cowboy hat on - that was her man’s. A sign that she belonged to him. Property shit and all.” She waved it off as if dismissing the concept. “Changed over the past few decades, of course. Better that way too. Ladies can wear whatever they want now. But the thought kind of stuck. You see a guy without a hat, he’s probably taken. You see a girl with a hat, that’s probably her man’s. And before you ever steal a hat, you should know the hat rule.” 

You raised your eyebrows. Your stomach did weird little flips as she talked. Jake hadn’t explained any of this to you. 

“The hat rule?”, you asked. Kendra grinned and leaned in, pretending to let out some big secret. 

“You wear the hat”, she said and paused for a second for dramatic effect, “You wear the cowboy.” 

You breathed out. 

“Oh.” 

Oh my ass, you thought. 

Jake hadn’t let you buy your own hat for a reason. And then he’d gone ahead and not given you that reason. What the actual fuck. 

You would’ve loved to wear his hat. You would’ve loved the thought of him claiming you like that, letting you wear his hat, showing everyone that yeah, you were Jake Seresin’s girl. But no. He’d left you completely in the dark, hadn’t let a single word slip. And he was still wearing that goddamn hat himself. 

Like a single fucking guy, not a man in a loving relationship.

Somehow, now that you knew, you were more annoyed by the fact that he was wearing it than that he just hadn’t told you at all. God, he could’ve left it at home. He could’ve taken it off. He could’ve just put it on your head without telling you why if he didn’t want to. 

And right there, that was the part you just didn’t understand. Why hadn’t he told you? He should have known you well enough by now to realise that you would absolutely adore wearing that hat. Not only because you wanted to wear a hat (which you did) but also because you wanted to wear his hat (which you did even more). After all, it wasn’t only him claiming you - it was you claiming him as well. And as horrible as the history of that hat rule was, in this present day you felt like it would only have been fair of him to tell you. You wanted to have that chance of showing him off. Of him showing you off, which he did so happily back in San Diego. 

“Hey”, Kendra said, her expression a bit more serious as she put a hand to your arm and pulled you from your thoughts. “I’m sure Jake didn’t mean to hurt you. He may seem like a bastard, but he’s actually a real sweetheart.” 

You snorted at her, nodding along. 

“He is”, you agreed. “Which is kind of why it hurts even more. I don’t get why he wouldn’t just tell me. It’s not like he’s ever been scared I’d say no to him or something.”

Kendra smiled and squeezed your arm reassuringly. 

“Try not to worry about it too much. Just ask him when you get home later, yeah? Communication is key.” Her smile turned into a grin. She winked at you. “And hey, you can always wear my hat if you’d like.” 

You forced yourself to smile as well as you took a sip of your beer. “If I actually were single, I’d definitely take you up on that offer, but I’m not, and I don’t think Jake would like it much.” 

Her grin only deepened. She had dimples, you realised, and the hat on her head matched her eye colour. You were glad to have her here with you. She was someone you were sure you could become good friends with over time. 

“That makes it even better”, she said conspicuously. She leaned back in her chair, crossing her ankles over the edge of the table as she tipped her hat back. “He never told you about the hats. You don’t know anything in his eyes, honey. Use it against him.” 

There was a twinkle in her gaze that told you she was looking for nothing short of mischief and you had the distinct feeling that she’d been the ‘bad influence’ on Jake in high school that he’d talked about so often. She seemed like a troublemaker. But she also seemed genuine. And she was right - in Jake’s eyes, you were getting to know one of his friends, talking about some girly stuff (which he probably assumed was himself), having a nice night. Not learning about cowboy customs that he’d just so forgotten to mention. 

Jake usually didn’t get jealous. He trusted you the same way you trusted him. But he got possessive nonetheless - always with a hand on your back when you were talking to someone he thought was flirting with you, kissing you at the most inappropriate times, making sure that everyone knew you were his. Now he’d had the goddamn chance and hadn’t taken it. And you didn’t fucking know why. 

But you were damn determined to find out. 

Kendra slid the hat off her head and offered it to you. You took one deep breath before you reached for it. 

You let your fingertips skip over the rim for a moment. Were you really about to do this? Then you put it on your head. 

Alright. If Jake wasn’t going to tell you about the way this worked on his own accord, you’d make him tell you. 

Kendra emptied her beer and you followed suit before the both of you got up. She grabbed both bottles in one hand, turning to you to send you another of those winks. 

“I’ll bring these back to the bar and get us new ones. The dancefloor’s all yours.” 

With a nervous smile, you adjusted your newly aqcuired hat and made your way onto the dancefloor. There was soft music playing in the background - country, of course, loud but not loud enough to disturb conversation. It wasn’t late enough for that just yet. Which was honestly a relief, since you had zero clue whatsoever about line dancing or whatever it was they did down here. This way there were only a few couples twirling each other back and forth and some people moving to the beat all on their own. You let out a breath and closed your eyes, allowing yourself to really feel the music: the guitar, the steady drums, the vocals. 

Slowly, you started swaying - from one side to the other, turning, twirling, one step, then the next, heels here, toes there. A grin was making its way onto your face. The music grew, not as much in volume as in pace, and you didn’t know just when you had started to forget about everything except your movements (like the people watching, for example), but then the song changed and you gasped as you realised you knew it. Eyes fluttering open, hands coming together to clap, lips twisting into an actual laugh as you sang along, catching Kendra’s gaze and waving her over. 

She joined you with a laugh, grabbed your hand to twirl you around, and god, her voice was heavenly. For just a split second you wondered how Jake hadn’t ended up falling for her. You certainly would have. 

And speaking - more like thinking, but whatever - of the devil, you felt an all too familiar hand on your shoulder. You turned at the same time that Kendra let go of you, allowing you to admire your boyfriend in all his furious glory. 

Not that he actually looked furious. Not to anyone but you, not with that facade he wore whenever anyone got under his skin. But you, well... You’d been with him long enough to understand that twitch of his jaw, that tension in his shoulders, that flicker in his eyes. And yet - the cowboy hat still sat on his head. 

“I got it from here, Kendra”, he said, eyes fixed on yours, as you held your breath. She snorted, but still made to move away, muttering something under her breath that you didn’t catch. Then Jake spoke again. “Take your hat, Kendra.” 

He grabbed it from where it rested on your head and threw it at her without looking away from you. She sucked in a breath. 

“If you throw my hat again, I’ll kick your ass, Seresin”, she said and you could tell that even though they were friends, she wasn’t kidding. Shit, the people here were really fucking serious about their hats. Another reason why you were mad at Jake for not telling you about any of it. 

“Next time, don’t set it on my girl’s head”, he growled - growled, really, you didn’t know what else to call it. She scoffed and walked off. 

“How could she know I was your girl?”, you whispered, challenging him even though he already looked like you’d crossed some line that he’d drawn without telling you. “How could anyone?” 

For a few moments, he kept quiet. You defiantly stared up at him. Should he think whatever he fucking wanted to, this was entirely his fault. 

Then something changed in his expression. 

“You found out about the hat rule”, he said, “And the first thing you did was go and put on somebody else’s.” 

“Well if my boyfriend doesn’t want to have me wear his hat-” 

You couldn’t react as quickly as Jake had gripped you by the waist and pulled you close to him, forcing you to tip your head back to keep looking at him. He was, in fact, so close now that you could just kiss him and honestly, you were tempted. Just as tempted as you’d been when he’d come out of the bathroom looking like that, just as tempted as you’d been when you’d left the house, just as tempted as you’d been in his truck. But you were also stubborn. And you had good reasons not to kiss him right now (even though they were getting harder and harder to remember by the second).

“Darling, I’d go wild for you with my hat on.” 

You swallowed. Hard. 

“So why am I not wearing it?”, you asked through gritted teeth. You couldn’t quite believe just how easily this whole situation was getting under your skin. But it seriously hurt your ego - and not just that. The fact that Jake hadn’t told you about something so important in his hometown, some, as ridiculous as it may be, piece of culture, something that would so clearly show everyone that you were dating him, really, actually, seriously dating him, stung more than you wanted to admit. It was like someone had asked him outright if he was taken and he’d said no. 

“‘Cause I told you to wait”, he drawled, “Didn’t I? Wait ‘til you’re a real cowgirl.” 

Curiosity and frustration were mixing in your stomach, a weird, dangerous combo. You grabbed for his collar, pulling on it just a bit too hard - nothing he couldn’t stand his ground against. You were feeling insulted by all this and you found that you should let him know. 

“What’s a girl like me gotta do to become one in your eyes, hm, Hangman?” 

Hangman. You only called him that when you meant business. It was like a mother using her child’s full name whenever it got in serious trouble. Jake stiffened, fingers digging into your hips so firmly that you were sure you’d be able to see the marks in the mirror later on. You’d hit a nerve. Always did when you called him by his callsign. No more Jake, no more baby, none of that. 

“Behave”, he said, eyes fixed on yours, that one word carrying so much more meaning. You didn’t care. For once, you really didn’t fucking care. You wanted him riled up, wanted him furious, wanted him right at this breaking point. So you smiled.  

“Like a dog?” 

He’d smashed his lips on yours before you could react. 

All teeth and tongue, decisive, possessive, angry. You didn’t want to give in as quickly as you did. But he hardly left you a choice - he was everywhere, arms wrapped so tightly around you, chest pressed so firmly against yours, not giving you the option to escape, to duck away, to tease him any further. So instead of doing that, instead of making him run after you more, you let him have the control. All of it. Instead of turning, instead of making him chase you, you pulled him close to you by his collar with all the force you could manage, pulled him into you, pulled him with you as you stumbled backwards from the sudden change of weight, put your entire trust in him to keep you upright. You couldn’t breathe. You didn’t want to if that meant letting go. 

Not with how much emotion you were putting into this fucking kiss. 

Jake was the one to break away first. Pupils blown, cheeks reddened (you were sure you looked even worse), panting. You loosened your grip on his collar and ran a hand through your hair instead. 

Somewhere in the back of your head, you remembered that you were still in a bar, still in the middle of the dancefloor, still under the watchful eyes of his friends. A different part was screaming at you to fuck it and fuck him right here, right now. 

“Shit”, he breathed, resting his forehead against yours. His hat let a shadow fall over both your faces. “You’re gon’ be the death of me someday.” 

“Hopefully not too soon”, you teased, a smile playing on your lips as he pulled back just a bit. “I still gotta find out how to become a cowgirl after all.” 

The corner of his mouth quirked up as well. He raised his eyebrows, examining you for a second. 

“You really wanna know, sweetheart?” 

You let out a laugh. “Fuck yeah.” 

He leaned in close, breath ghosting over the shell of your ear, and you had to swallow. This felt intimate, somehow. 

“You’re gon’ be a cowgirl once you rode your cowboy.” 

Your breath caught in your throat. He pulled back with a grin. Smug, you realised. He was so fucking proud of himself for this - for having caught you off guard like that. You couldn’t let him win that easily. Not with that already inflated ego. 

“All of this just to get me into your bed?”, you chuckled. “Damn, Seresin. Lotta work for no reason, hm? I’m in it at the end of every day anyway.” 

He shrugged - as best as he could with his hands still on your waist. 

“What can I say? I aim to please.” 

You couldn’t help but grin too. The angry, sizzling tension had dissolved into something much more pleasant, much more dizzying. Something that set your skin ablaze and your mind on fire. You grabbed one of his hands from your waist and intertwined your fingers with his. 

“Want to get out of here?”, you asked. He leaned in and kissed you with a smile - slow and steady and sensual, wholly different from before. 

When he pulled back, you were breathless again. 

“Always.” 

[sadceline]

THE ENHYPEN HOST || 22

|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS

WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes.

GENRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers

INDEX (Chapters order)

It must be strange for her, given the new terms of her contract, but I am surprised to see her in the kitchen at all.

I heard from our manager that Amanda had an appointment with a Hybe doctor today, that there was no need to accompany her as he would take care of it. I think even he would eventually fall in love with her and, realising how impossible it is not to, he would make our host change.

That would sort of fix everything, but what would happen to Amanda?

I sigh and turn off the last burner. I don't look at her directly, I feel uncomfortable. I said some crazy things the last time we were alone, I don't want to deny it but there's a part of me that still believes them.

"How are you?" She sits up and stares at me blankly. "Fine." "You don't look like you got much sleep." I say, getting the dishes ready for the boys, because if I don't think about it, they'll end up eating junk, or worse, not eating at all. "We just slept." She says, but sounds lifeless. "You don't have to explain, I don't care."

I say as I walk over to the table with her plate and place it in front of her, but she keeps looking at me. Why is she staring at me? Why do I feel uncomfortable?

"You know about the video, right?" She asks.

I swallow in annoyance, put down the plate and go back behind the cooker to tidy up. "You have your first appointment today, with the gynaecologist, I think. - I abruptly change the subject. - Would you like to go with Ester?" "C-can I do that?" She asks, as if she had forgotten her first question, so enthusiastic is about the proposal.

I swallow and lower my eyes. Damn, she's so cute when she makes expressions like that…

"I think you would feel more comfortable than with our manager." "R-Really… I… I'd be happy with that, b-but-" "I know about the video. Don't worry." I sigh annoyed, but really I'm just uncomfortable. "Do you… do you think I could talk to Jungwon? D-Do you think he'd be angry?" "It depends. To what?" Jake asks as he walks into the kitchen.

His hair is down today, now that I notice it's gotten really long, it falls elegantly over his face, he has a stern look on his face, but that's probably just because he's just woken up and is in a bad mood. But he took his plate and sat down next to her, even though neither of them had answered.

"It doesn't matter." Amanda says under her breath. "If these guys blackmail you, let me know. - Jaeyun says, although his tone is friendly he doesn't seem to be joking, I know him. - I'll talk some sense into them."

I purse my lips, and although she doesn't seem to notice, Jaeyun gives me a dirty look. He's probably heard more than is letting on, now he's definitely in a bad mood.

"What are you doing today?" I ask him, pouring myself some water and leaning against the kitchen counter as I look at him quietly. "I've got a photoshoot and then I'm making a video for YouTube with Sunoo. - I nod interestedly, but I already knew that, I just wanted to change the subject. - And you?" "I'm taking Amanda to the doctor." The girl turns to me in surprise, but it's Jake who answers before she can open her mouth. "Why you?" "She's going with Ester… I'm taking the opportunity to see her." I smile. "It's crazy that you're the one doing these things. - Jake laughs instead. - You know you make a mess when they see you? There are MAMAs in a couple of months." "The visit is in Hybe. It's safe." I reply, no longer smiling, but annoyed that although it really is safe, it would actually be safer not to go.

The Hybe is like a jungle and every step you take could be a landmine, ready to explode at any moment. I know, I'm annoyed to be reminded of this, but I can't say anything else.

"Then be careful." Jaeyun snorts and starts to eat. "I will."

Also entering the room is Riki, who is just thrilled to see Amanda at the table and literally wastes no time in taking a seat next to her.

"Good morning noona. Are you awake because you slept all night? Sunghoon hyung wasn't much, was he?"

He asks amusedly, continuing to invade her personal space, leaning and rubbing against her like a cat, but shaking her so much that he also moves Jake, who seems even more nervous.

Could this really have happened? Did Sunghoon not have the strength to do it alone one last time? Or could it even have been her who rejected him? Both possibilities seem unlikely to me.

"Won't you bring my plate?" Riki asks after a while when he notices that it doesn't come. God, how spoiled he is. "Don't you have hands? Or legs?" I answer, approaching the coffee machine. The maknae mumbles as he stands up, Amanda looks at me. "Have you eaten?" I look away quickly, not wanting to make eye contact with her for too long or I'll feel weird. "I don't eat in the morning." "You cook for everyone, but you don't eat?" She asks me meekly… looking… worried.

I don't have time to answer because a freshly reared Heeseung specimen joins us in the kitchen.

Although on his days off he doesn't wake up before ten o'clock, or worse, this morning he appears out of nowhere in the kitchen, leaving everyone quite surprised, but seeing what a pissed off face he has, no one comments.

"Good morning, bitches, and Amanda." "Over to you, hyung." Raises his glass of juice, Riki, who seems completely amused by the chaotic situation we're in.

She lowers her head, not quite able to withstand Heeseung's gaze. I wonder if it's because she's afraid of him or because she has feelings for him, either way I shouldn't care, but either way it bothers me.

"So - Heeseung begins to speak, approaching the counter and taking his plate - today we define the terms of the contract? The boundaries?" He asks, sitting at the head of the table so he can look at both Amanda and me.

"I don't know, it's the doctor's appointment today. Maybe you'd rather relax - I say with a disinterested air - and then she can discuss the terms with me alone." Heeseung laughs in annoyance. "Yeah? Just you? And who exactly are you?" What a friendly tone, but I smile, nervous but smiling. "Someone more trustworthy than you." The elder man laughs again and bites into his eggs. "All right, let's pretend. And where is this examination? Who is she going with?"

Jungwon arrives in the kitchen, followed by Sunoo. He's smiling even at this late hour. I immediately notice that the first person he looks at with his eyes, which would normally be me, is Amanda instead.

Her hair is dishevelled, she is made-up, her eyes are tired, and yet she remains so beautiful. She is wearing one of Sunghoon's few sweatshirts, as he is not used to wearing them, and even without doing anything in particular, she manages to be irresistible.

Perhaps the fact that she is the only girl in the dormitory makes us particularly vulnerable.

"Let's go together, me and Jay hyung." Jungwon says, taking his plate and sitting down opposite Amanda, then with his back to me. "Why should you go? I'm free too." "I see Ester - I explain - Jungwon is doing his job as a leader. You know it's not a good idea send her with Yuki."

We've been calling him that for so long, our manager, that I'm sure Riki can't even remember his real name. Maybe his surname.

Heeseung laughs again. "It's fine, it seems absolutely safe for you two to go out with two girls, sure. After all, you're not idols, you're not even part of a group named Enhypen". "The visit is in Hybe - explained Jungwon, who I spoke to by text this morning. - Everything will be fine, but thank you for your concern! It's good to know that you care about us."

This time the elder does not answer as Sunoo starts to laugh while sitting next to the leader. I smile too as I drink my coffee, silent and smug.

"Is he a male gynaecologist?" Heeseung asks. I shake my head. "I don't know. Anyway, Ester goes with her, so…" "We all know why Hybe has a gynaecologist, don't we?" Jaeyun asks, who hasn't finished his breakfast yet, but definitely eaten. "For abortions?" Riki asks spontaneously. Jungwon chokes and starts to cough, Sunoo laughs but hands him some water and taps him on the back. "Come on, come on. It's not the time to die, at least wait until you're 27 so you'll stay in history… Anyway, I think there's sumbae Taehyung in Hybe today".

He says it like it's nothing, but he's literally just dropped a bomb. The first thing that comes to mind is: is Bangtan going to have a host? And immediately after that: why him? I mean, even Jungkook would be fine (because he's such a snob), but Taehyung… he's really particular, I don't want him to meet Amanda… or Ester.

"Isn't it dangerous to go to Hybe? There are always fans lurking around the headquarters." Riki asks, having finished eating, oddly enough everything.

Amanda just pinched her food, still looking down, and even the news about Taehyung didn't cheer her up. Why am I so sorry? I shouldn't be.

Actually the area is safe, they have their people who keep an eye on everything and then we enter through the underground car park. As for Taehyung sumbae…. I don't think we'll meet him. - Jungwon laughs. - We are nobodies to him." "Actually, he doesn't notice you, he notices them." Remember Heeseung looking at me, though, clearly expecting something, from me, and I'm pretty sure it's keeping Taehyung away from Amanda. "The medical department is secluded, hardly a chance to say hello to the sumbae." I say, trying to put an end to this conversation that is starting to get on my nerves.

Sunghoon also arrives in the kitchen, his face looking worse than it has for months. The first thing he does is stare at Amanda, who notices and lowers her eyes.

"Medical department? Say hello to who?" He asks. I look at him for a few seconds without answering, then sigh. "Amanda is going to see the Doctor. Her friend Ester is going with her, so I'm going with Jungwon too. Taehyung sumbae will be at headquarters." "I'll come too." He says without thinking. Jungwon snorts. "No."

I don't know what to say at the moment. It's not like him to forget that he has work commitments, is he so… shaken by the whole thing that he would make such a mistake? He doesn't seem like himself.

"You have a commercial today, don't you remember?" I ask him curiously. Sunghoon looks at me in surprise. "Ah… that's right, I haven't checked my phone yet." "You remember what he does but not what I have to do?" Jaeyun asks me with a chuckle.

Amanda lifts her eyes to Sunghoon, confused, probably softened. She must have noticed that Sunghoon left the room as soon as he dont saw her. Heeseung witnesses the whole scene, then puts his chopsticks on the plate, noisy, annoyed, Amanda lowers her gaze, almost intimidated.

What a guy, Lee Heeseung.

It's useless anyway. - Try to calm the situation, Jungwon, with great nonchalance. - I'll go, i'm the leader. Amanda would like the company of a friend, Jay hyung's chick". "Does Hanni know?" Sunghoon asks annoyed. "What? That I, as leader, have to supervise the medical examination of our host? - He pauses briefly. - No, I missed it. Does Wonyoung know?"

Sunghoon doesn't answer, but by now he's not even angry, obviously Wonyoung's affairs can no longer be used against him. He comes over to the counter where the coffee machine is. I make breakfast for him too, but he often skips it, like now, when he makes himself an american coffee instead.

"When are you leaving? - Heeseung asks, getting everyone's attention. - When are you coming back?" "When are we going, hyung?" Jungwon asks. "Around ten." I answer. "When are we coming back?" He asks again. I laugh, it's unbearable when he does that, but his sense of humour kills me. "We'll see." "Good answer!" "They're stupid, but you acts like tyrant." Sunoo comments, eating very quietly and enjoying the show, though I wonder how he feels lately. "I'm the cutest tyrant in the world though, right noona?" Jungwon asks, waving at her, and she actually raises her eyes, paralysed by the young leader's expression.

Fuck… she's practically blushing in front of him and now looks around nervously. How is she older than me? She's so damn pretty. I approach Jungwon and slap him politely on the back of the head.

" Yah! Why?" "Stop being a tyrant. - I pretend to scold him, then sigh. - Look, I'm not letting you get up until you've finished eating."

At first she does not seem to understand, but when she does, she stares at me with that strange look she always gives me. I don't know what it means, but she looks sad.

I want to be part of the tyrant too!' - Riki says and raises his hand. - Besides, I've got nothing to do. Come on, you should take me with you." "No." Heeseung replies, crossing his arms over his chest, he hasn't touched his food yet, this isn't like him at all. "You can't tell me what to do." Niki mumbles, though not as proudly as usual, moving some leftovers around the plate with a chopstick, this boy with no manners… "Yah, don't play with your food. You'll find the same breakfast until you eat it." "I'm not playing - he whines like a wayward child - come on, let me come with you!" "No, go and join Heeseung." I snort, amused. "I don't want to, I don't want to!"

I see Amanda smiling because of Riki's funny and childish tone, who doesn't usually act like that, or rather… he used to act like that a lot… but now he's changed. There are many reasons why he did that, but we were also suffering and someone realised it too late.

He used to be a funny guy, a bit weird, but always happy - like Jungwon, but without his malice. Now he has the malice and he has gone dark with all of us, maybe because of the problems he had with Jaeyun, whatever they may be.

I nod amusedly. "Try tidying up the house, there are so many things you could do on your day off." Heeseung is very stiff, I can see and feel it. "Stay home, we'll spend some quality time together." This sounds like a veiled threat. "Since you left before I woke up - Sunghoon sighs, looking sad and a little tired - I put my number on your phone." He tells her. I look at him, annoyed. "How did you do that? Do you know her code?" "I found out the first day." He says, sipping his coffee. Amanda laughs, not in delight, but in obvious disbelief, her eyebrows raised in surprise. "You lied. Did you read my chats?" "I don't understand… English that well - in fact, he doesn't even understand it that badly - and anyway, I have dignity, I don't give a damn about your chats." Sunghoon replies, always very polite. "Should Amanda noona teach you?" Sunoo suggests, laughing. "I know some english too." Jaeyun replies. "Did your phone come back?" Heeseung asks, looking at our host who nods weakly.

It's strange, it's the first time in a long time that we're all in the kitchen, should I be happy about it? Actually, the correct emotion is concern - most of them are just here to check on Amanda.

Although it seems obvious that she is the element that will divide us, I keep getting the impression that she is actually bringing us closer, albeit in a somewhat toxic way… not that she is to blame, of course.

"I'm meeting Intak hyung today." Sunoo says changing the subject. "Really? He didn't ask about me?" Riki asks. "Why would he?" The blonde asks again, sulking. "Why should he go out with you?" The maknae replies amused. I shrug my shoulders. "None of your business."

Eventually they all start to annoy Sunoo a bit, reminding him that he's a pretty shady guy and hangs out with guys who are a bit crazy, but knowing Sunoo, now, he's even more interested in hanging out with him, after all he's just a rebellious kid too.

"You eat too. - Heeseung sighs irritably and looks at Sunoo before getting up from the table. - And you, let me know when you get home." He speaks to Amanda. Sunghoon is visibly annoyed, probably because it would be strange to say the same thing now, and he wants to. "Let's have a group. I don't see the point of talking alone". "That's not a bad idea - Jaeyun says, putting down his chopsticks, he hasn't finished his breakfast either, but I know it's not because of the taste. - But you gave her your number, right?" Sunghoon looks at him boredly. "Everyone but you." "Then you haven't really seen her chats." He bursts out laughing.

The peer stares at him wordlessly, but then seems to think, I think he saw the chats, but hastily, because he was too proud. He probably didn't check the archived chats, what a newbie… ….

Heeseung looks up in irritation and then leaves the room, not even bothering to put his plate down. I grin irritably, I hate it when he remembers he's older, because there's no way I can compensate for that.

"Such manners." Sunghoon comments. I push him. "Shut up." "You shut up." He replies. "Noona, you really need to finish your breakfast." Says Jungwon, who hasn't been heard from for a while.

With his back to me, I didn't see his expression the whole time, but he was silent for a long time. He was probably studying the people around him to get a better idea of what they were thinking.

Amanda nods, awkwardly but charmingly filling his mouth, and I hear the leader chuckle.

"Go get settled, it takes an hour each time." "Right, we could meet Taehyung hyung. - He nods, gets up and takes the dishes of the others, too, to put them back into the dishwasher. - We have to hurry, Noona." "Speaking of which, you shouldn't wear anything flashy. Neither should your boyfriend." It sounds like advice, but it's more of a threat to Sunghoon as he turns to Amanda, who avoids his gaze. She does the same with him - could it be that she likes them both? "You have a lot of cloths to me - Jaeyun interrupts - change in my room." Amanda looks at me, not understanding, then turns and smiles weakly. "W-Well, thank you." "Don't thank him, he's not doing anything special." Sunghoon approaches her angrily. "Finish eating." I tell her again.

She gives me that adorable worried look and goes back to her breakfast like a child who has been scolded. Jungwon watches her for a few seconds, then smiles softly.

"Omo, noona. You look so pretty while you eat." He says. I snort and grab him by the shoulders and push him out of the kitchen. "I said dress!" "Jay, you have to be careful today." Sunghoon tells me when the leader has finally disappeared from the hallway. "I know." I sigh. "Have you talked to Ester? Did you tell her to dress inconspicuously?" He calls her by name? "Yes." I answer. Sunghoon's lips tighten, as if he's annoyed because there's nothing else to pick on me about. "She can't meet Taehyung." "She won't meet him." I snort. "Can I… can I move my schedule?" "You want to postpone the production of a commercial? - I look at him in silence, wishing he would see the absurdity of his suggestion for himself. - Don't talk shit. Pull yourself together."

The truth is that I've been thinking about this for a while. I didn't want to concretise my thoughts in order to get the hypothesis out of my head, but what worries me now is not that Taehyung notices Amanda.

But that Ester notices Taehyung.

The night we met she talked a lot about BTS, about being an army. Ester is just as beautiful as Amanda, and she fits the korean standard of beauty much better, with her milky skin, petite but graceful body, and her boobs, that no heterosexual man can ignore it, right?

Amanda will be scruffy, Ester probably not scruffy enough - I've warned her not to wear skimpy things, but I haven't told her to dress badly. Should I do it now? It feels wrong, though, because she might meet her idol.

But what if…

No, that's absurd. Taehyung probably won't even look at us, and we'll have to try and go unnoticed too, before some big head from Hybe questions the situation of the two of us together with two beautiful girls.

"Noona, would you like me to give you some tips on how to dress?" Riki suggests, catching everyone's attention. Amanda giggles, perhaps for the first time this morning. "Thanks… But I'm really good at dressing badly." "There, I'm getting bored already. - The brat sighs and gets up from the table. - I wonder if Heeseung hyung is in the mood to get his ass kicked at Play".

He leaves the room. I laugh but try to keep my composure, the fact is that even though Heeseung has been playing for years, Riki seems to get good at everything instantly, even games he doesn't even know.

Jaeyun takes Amanda by the shoulders as she finishes eating. "Let's go, come on." Amanda meekly lets herself be pulled along. "Alright…" Sunghoon watches them go, then mumbles. "Shit, is the doctor a man?" "I have no idea, but I…" "I don't want another man to see her naked." He interrupts me, quietly angry. I sigh, I can't take it any longer. "We've all seen her naked, practically." "It's not the same." He replies seriously. I narrow my eyes, annoyed by his concern. "Can we? Me, can I?" Sunghoon's face changes, I knew this would happen, but I answered anyway. "You've got your new girlfriend, right?" "We know it's no problem, right?" "Don't piss me off." "I'm just trying to reason with you. - I sigh again and pat him on the shoulder before leaving him alone in the kitchen. - Go and have a shower, you look like shit."

[3liza]

joey mellen wrote bore hole, hughes wrote mechanism of brainbloodvolume (i did not know there were two of these guys lol)

i know! those photos are alternately attributed to either of them, i still dont know who actually is in the photo because they were all white englishmen the same age.

and there were THREE. these guys were their own little trepanation cult polycule for a while in the 60s and 70s. as usual the woman, (Countess) Amanda Feilding (sic), is the one who gets forgotten, even though shes the one who made the actual gore movie of herself drilling a hole in her head for real: Heartbeat in the Brain (1970), which is considered "lost media" by that kind of person but i dont think it's actually lost, it was screened in 2011 and i think the fact that its about someone drilling a hole in their face is lending the footage more mystique than it actually possesses. looking for citations for this post is the first time ive heard it referred to as "lost", i dont think media is "lost media" just because it isnt on youtube but whatever

anyway Feilding ran for parliament several times. "Feilding ran for British Parliament twice, in 1979 and 1983, on the platform 'Trepanation for the National Health' with the intention of advocating research into its potential benefits; she advocated the provision of the procedure by the National Health Service.[3]" her parents were second cousins btw the english peerage is so fucked up it is unbelievable

she has spent her post-trepanation life advocating for drug policy reform, which is based, but unfortunately her son is also in politics and is a tory piece of shit

i have a Special Interest in trepanation and will probably eventually get it done somehow, i just have a feeling of fate about it or maybe dysmorphia. reading about idiopathic intermittent intercranial hypertension and hypoperfusion recently sounded real familiar. doctors dont like to talk about this stuff though, to them everything inside your skull is a schroedinger's cat that is assumed to be completely fine and normal until you prove to them via feats of strength that you have a Brain Problem of some kind, which heretofore is forbidden from mention

edit: trepanation doesnt actually do anything to your brain unless you have a pressure issue and the hole will just heal over anyway and reseal your brain, none of the Bore Hole claims or beliefs are anything except placebo

to people other than wumblr, who i assume has already read it: Bore Hole is an EXCELLENT book and will act as a fast and easy history lesson on how the counterculture boomers actually lived. their economy was unbelievable, americans and english used to be able to just "go to india" and hang out, things just did not cost a lot of money for a while there and this has permanently altered the part of their brain that makes cost calculations

[jessicanjpa]

a good day

(An excerpt from this chapter of 2003, set just a few weeks after the Cullens arrive. Edward and Esme are doing paperwork at the dining room table when Carlisle gets home from work. Bonus: this is the first time Bella is mentioned in Tale of Years!)

"Carlisle's home," I told Esme, turning my head to the familiar sound of my father's thoughts. A moment later, we heard the powerful rumble of the Mercedes turning off the main road.

You won't believe the day I've had!

Carlisle burst in the kitchen door a moment later, grinning from ear to ear. He swooped down to receive Esme's welcome-home kiss and poured another mountain of mail onto the table out of a bulky package. There was so much mail—especially in the beginning of a new move—that we couldn't risk raising the postal workers' interest by receiving each piece separately. One of Jenks's "services" was routing a good chunk of that mail to us via packages like this one.

"You're in a good mood," I teased, catching the tallest pile of papers—Alice's investment reports—just as Carlisle's new addition sent it tumbling off the edge. Those "Go Paperless" campaigns were starting to look better and better. We could singlehandedly save a whole forest at the rate we were going.

"Indeed I am," he said. He kissed Esme again for good measure. "Days like this... they make everything doubly worthwhile."

"Tell us," Esme said with a knowing smile. She pushed out the chair beside her with her foot, paperwork forgotten. He sat down and took her hand.

"A young man was brought in after a motorcycle accident," he began. "It didn't look good; his blood pressure was already threatening to bottom out. Extensive road rash, compound ulnar and femoral fractures... and a suspected open-book pelvic fracture. The paramedics had a binder on him already. Dr. Snow called for a helicopter as soon as he was brought in. Forks is only a Level IV trauma center. Everyone said it was too late—and it would have been, if I had let them waste any more time.

"I took over immediately. I nearly got fired on the spot, and I may still face a lawsuit for breaking protocol if he doesn't make it in the end. But I'm confident he will. I suspected a rupture of the iliolumbar vessels. I opened right up and started with the gauze packing, and we didn't even have the right kind of arterial balloon but I managed to get them all distracted so I could get the sutures done at my speed—oh, I'm sorry, Edward..."

My throat flared at the bloody imagery as Carlisle chattered on at superspeed, but his good mood was infectious. He lived for scenarios like this: when he was able to save a patient when no one else could, either because of his acute senses, his vast experience, or his ability to operate at vampire speed when he could get everyone else to look away for a moment. Or all three, in this case. Carlisle looked so happy on days like this. So young.

"We still had him lifted to Harborview in the end," Carlisle said in conclusion, "but he was already stabilized. Dr. Snow is still upset about how I had taken over. I actually shoved him out of my way! But even he can't deny that I had saved a life he had already pronounced lost. Once we were cleaned up, he took me out to the lobby himself and told the patient's friend—none other than our local chief of police—about my being a miracle worker."

"Only three weeks this time," Esme said, gazing at him with adoring eyes. "Only three weeks and you're already the Miracle Worker."

Carlisle smiled bashfully at her praise, then went on to describe how Chief Swan had nearly broken down right there in the ER lobby, gushing his gratitude for Carlisle's heroic rescue. Apparently one of the nurses had already let it slip that his buddy wasn't going to make it. It sounded like he had personal experience with motorcycle fatalities, making him doubly in awe of today's outcome and of the Miracle Worker.

Carlisle tended to accumulate nicknames wherever he worked: any number of variations on the themes of Doogie Howser and Miracle Worker. His fellow physicians either loved or hated him, but in the end, they always came to respect his good instincts. Having made some minor forays into the medical field myself, I was most in awe of Carlisle's ability to take decisive action during blood-soaked emergencies. He took risks most emergency physicians wouldn't dream of, and they nearly always turned out for the best. And I couldn't imagine being able to open up a pelvic cavity full of two liters of gushing blood and get right to work.

"Chief Swan sounds like a good man," Esme said fondly.

"I think so, too," Carlisle agreed. He was picturing a nondescript middle-aged man with brown hair and a mustache. The man's chocolate-brown eyes teared up as he acknowledged Carlisle's help. "We talked for a bit. He lives alone, though his daughter occasionally comes to visit in the summertime. He's an avid fisherman—he even asked me if I would like to join him out in his boat someday."

"That'd be a good trick," I said, rolling my eyes. Fishing and vampires didn't mix. Hours of sunshine with no escape, fish getting frightened away, sharp hooks in human fingers, close observation... Carlisle smiled sadly, going on to say how he had politely declined but thanked Chief Swan for the invitation.

It was a shame. Like Alice, Carlisle would have loved to have a human friend. Someone he could be fully honest with, or at least someone he could bond with over the things he would be able to talk about. But experience had taught us to keep our human peers at arms' length. It was better that way... for all of us. And fate seemed determined to remind us of that fact. The very next day gave us a scare like we hadn't had in years.

[quodekash]

good morning, friends! im exhausted and only got like four hours of sleep, but at least im (kind of) mentally prepared to revisit the episode, so (you probably know the drill by now), here’s all my commentary and thoughts and stuff from the episode! 

i feel like its important for everyone to know that i made myself an ice tea at 11:30pm because i knew i wouldnt be able to survive the episode alone 

(and dont suggest that the ice tea is the cause of the lack of sleep, if anything it’s the only reason i got to sleep) 

i was very nervous in the beginning cos i was pretty sure photjanee wouldnt be homophobic but also what if she is 

props to her for not asking tinn cos he was visibly nervous/afraid 

and gun told gim and she didnt even say anything at first. she just looked so freaking proud, then hugged him and said “whoever you love, i love” and i love her so much she’s a freaking perfect mother 

PHOTJANEE’S NEURODIVERGENT AND AWESOME HUSBAND who is still nameless IS SITTING NEXT TO HER SO HE’S GONNA SAY SOME HELPFUL AND SUPPORTIVE WORDS 

“were you afraid to hear the answer” im sensing a recurring themeeee (if youve forgotten and somehow havent rewatched the show over and over again, in episode 6 gun kept saying he was afraid to hear the answer of who tinn liked) 

“i think if he’s ready, he’ll tell you himself. give it time. time for tinn and yourself.” I LOVE THIS MAN 

also side note: she’s really pretty 

i smell a sponsorship 

a canon printer sponsorship 

theyre so subtle with their sponsorships 

“by the way, this printer is so convenient, it can be used with any operating system, right?” NICE ONE GEM, REAL SUBTLE, NO ONE WILL KNOW 

TIWPOR TINNGUN DOUBLE DATE STUDY DATE ONCE AGAIN 

AND SOUNDWIN BEHIND THEM (and also yo and pat i guess) 

tinngun are always reminiscent of patpran, but so much throughout this episode it literally felt like i was watching bad buddy 

GUN FINALLY KNOWS THAT TIW KNOWS AND GUN IS LIKE ‘wait did you tell him’ AND TIW JUST GOES 

“do you think this nerd would succeed in getting your love without my help”

AND HE’S SO ICONIC AND HE’S SO RIGHT AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OH MY GOSH 

also rip four and tinn’s homosecuality, they have to pretend to date for this music video 

also also WE GET TO SEE FOUR AND HER GIRLFRIEND AGAIN OMG I LOVE THEM 

THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY 

LOOK AT THEM AND THEIR IN-LOVE-NESS 

cant wait for the homophobia this episode /sarc

“we just have to wait until the dinosaurs are extinct and humans rule the world” TIW LITERALLY JUST SAID WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR ALL THE BOOMERS TO DIE OUT AND THEN GAYS CAN RULE THE WORLD THIS IS FREAKING HILARIOUS 

I CANT EXPLAIN IT, THEIR FACES ARE SO REMINISCENT OF PATPRAN AND MORE SO THAN USUAL 

does- does this count as a first kiss 

that was so sudden 

um

help??? 

theyre so cute tho i love them 

PROM DAY (looking back, how does so much happen in this one day) 

✨gotta love being outed✨

GUN JUST TOLD THE BROSKIS 

and por is, naturally, very excited 

but also somehow very oblivious 

i had a feeling yo knew already 

apparently sound told win ages ago (when? idk man) 

pat having a suspicion about it is actually very surprising 

“you and you, what’s going on? you’ve been weird” 

FINALLY THE SCENE OF THEM HOLDING HANDS AND SHOWING THE GUYS IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR WAY TOO FREAKING LONG 

AND THEY BOTH LOOK SO FREAKING HAPPY 

IM DYING 

i need to ingrain every soundwin scene from this episode into my brain cos there’s so much of it and i want to see it all forever please 

tis raining and theyre under an umbrella and soundwin did it first 

okay so. it sucks that they were outed. and people shouldnt take photos of other people and then post it on social media because they can, cos thats an invasion of privacy and is not cool. 

on the other hand, everyone seems thrilled by it and tinngun aren’t hurt by it happening so i guess its okay 

in general tho people should not do this cos it could go very badly 

but this is a bl drama not real life so its fine 

I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE A NEUROSPICY GUY 

they did the happy arms 

and theyre sitting cross-legged on top of a table 

i love you random side character 

PAT AND POR BEING ALL HAPPY AND EXCITED IS HILARIOUS I LOVE THEM 

“no one cares about people’s sexual orientation these days. its a new world. right, pumpkin??” GUI4HERIH4IIGU (note to past me: it gets worse. you’re gonna progressively die even more) 

EW PEOPLE ARE MESSAGING PHOTJANEE SAYING TINN’S GONNA RUIN THE SCHOOL’S REPUTATION AND STUFF 

...what series was it 

did- did you watch bad buddy, photjanee 

did tinn’s parents watch bad buddy 

ive decided they watched bad buddy until proven otherwise 

‘its down to us whether we’re as kind to our son as those in the series’ THIS MAN HAS THE WISEST KINDEST WORDS AND I WANT TO GIVE HIM A BIG HUG 

tiw and tinn are actually really sad about kajorn leaving the student council which is slightly confusing (not cos i hate him, im finding it increasingly difficult to hate him, i just didn’t think tiw and tinn actually liked kajorn) 

‘people are arguing whether it’s guntinn or tinngun’ 

... 

im gonna say it 

i have to say it 

you cant stop me from saying it 

soundwin did it first 

(technically it was satangwinny vs winnysatang but thats not the point) 

there i said it 

hah 

babes she’s known for months 

(but yes absolutely if you’re comfortable telling her and you think you should, go right ahead :] )

i hate this teacher 

i would like to punch him please 

luckily i know, thanks to the preview last episode, that he does, in fact, get punched, so it’s all good 

KAJORN IS IN THE ROOM WHILE GUN IS DISTRESSED 

I REPEAT, JORN IS THERE 

yay tinn is there with gun while he cries 

thank you tinn for existing 

NO 

GO AWAY TEACHER 

DON’T ENTER THE ROOM 

"im sorry, i was just joking around with my friend, i didnt mean to insult you" yeah, okay, well thats only part of the problem. other problems are: a. the fact that you had to say such a horrible thing in order to joke around with your friend. if that's the kind of humour your friend has, that person should not be your friend, unless it's also your humour, in whcih case, that isnt a sincere apology. b. it's not just that you insulted gun. you also insulted an entire community of people, of students, of human beings, who just want to exist and live as people doing what they want to do. you cant say something homophobic and then only apologise because it hurt one person close to you. you say something homophobic, and then you apologise - in a way that you GENUINELY MEAN - and say you had no intention of hurting so many people, including gun. or, alternatively, dont say the homophobic thing in the first place. c) you’re a freaking TEACHER. a TEACHER is there to SUPPORT and CARE for ALL of their students. a TEACHER should not be saying terrible things where ANYONE could overhear. if a TEACHER cannot be supportive for ALL STUDENTS, then they should not be a teacher. (im a huge defender of teachers cos theyre human beings with lives and families and hobbies and theyre more than just the adult human that tells you 2 plus 2 is 4. but i am also a huge defender of students cos theyre human beings and also children and theyre still developing. and i am especially a defender of students and an offender of teachers when the teacher clearly hates children or isnt a good teacher or should not at all be a teacher. so this isnt me hating all teachers, i love teachers, i could talk about how unappreciated they are for hours. but i cannot stand it when a teacher behaves the way this teacher did. i hate it so freaking much.) 

THE TEACHER WAS “SHOCKED” COS GUN IS A “ROCKSTAR” SO THE TEACHER “THOUGHT YOU WERE MANLY” 

THATS NOT AN EXPLANATION NOR IS THAT AN APOLOGY 

GENDER AND SEXUAL IDENTITY ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FREAKING THINGS 

AND EVEN THEN, GENDER AND GENDER EXPRESSION ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FREAKING THINGS 

LIKING MEN DOESNT MAKE SOMEONE ANY LESS ‘MANLY’ SO STFU AND GET FIRED ALREADY 

FREAKING YES 

GOOD

HELL YES 

KAJORN PUNCHED THE TEACHER BEFORE TINN COULD 

THIS IS EVERYTHING I COULDVE ASKED FOR OR NEEDED 

I LOVE IT SO MUCH 

I LOVE KAJORN SO MUCH 

IM FINALLY ALLOWED TO NOT HATE HIM AND IM VERY GLAD ABOUT IT 

DAMN SOUND 

I MEAN I AGREE BUT WOW I WASNT EXPECTING THAT 

‘i HoPe YoU giVe A fAiR jUdGeMeNt oN tHiS cAsE’ bro its not court 

and absolutely she’ll give fair judgement 

shes freaking awesome and i love her 

also what does probation mean 

“don’t use violence to solve problems. do you understand?” okay, yes, im 100% on board with you, i completely agree, but, hear me out here: homophobia. 

I LOVE PHOTJANEE SO MUCH 

COLD AS ICE SHE GOES “if you’re not satisfied with my judgement, write a complaint. but dont forget to add every detail truthfully” 

SHE’S SO ICONIC 

TRULY A SLAY 

“LET GO OF MY SON. as principal, all i can do is submit a report regarding your behavior to those in authority. but as a mom, MY SON CAN LIKE WHOEVER HE LIKES. STAY OUT OF IT. if i hear anything filthy from you again, your penalty will go far beyond this” I FELT HER ANGER 

I LOVE HER WITH ALL MY SOUL 

SHES FREAKING AWESOME 

and kajorn looks so happy and content 

i love him 

PROM TIME AND THE STIMS ARE STIMMING REAL HARD RN 

WHY AM I CRYING WHILE LISTENING TO YOU’VE GOT MA BACK? THIS ISN’T A SAD SONG 

C O M E   C L O S E R 

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH POR 

OOOOO NEW SONG 

SOUNDWIN CHEEK KISS 

IM LITERALLY CRYING THEYRE SO CUTE 

(note to past me: it’s gonna get worse) 

aww gun’s in the audience singing directly to tinn this is so cute 

GRBRHKBGRIUBJROBUR

I WOULDVE BEEN CONTENT WITH JUST SOUND KISSING WIN BUT IM NOT COMPLAINING 

I AM THE OPPOSITE OF COMPLAINING 

GIREBVIRUB

TINN AND GUN ARE GOING ON THE STAGE TOGETHER HAND IN HAND 

HOW IS THIS SO FREAKING PERFECT 

AND SOUND’S GOT A GUITAR SOLO COS HE’S AWESOME LIKE THAT 

HAPPINESS 

BIG HAPPIES 

MUCH OF THE VERY HAPPINESS 

their hugs always look so comfy 

someone in the audience asked if theyre real and gun said nothing but hashtag #MySchoolPresident and it’s still so funny to me 

its like theyre telling us the watchers 

like USE TEH HASHTAG, PLEASE 

and we’re like WEVE ALREADY BEEN DOING THAT, CALM DOWN 

ew old teachers 

shut up with your judgy faces 

no one cares 

YAY FOR YOUNG PROGRESSIVE TEACHERS WHO DONT CARE WHAT THE BOOMERS THINK 

cos, as tiw said, the boomers will die out soon and then gays can rule the world 

can the episode just end here 

i dont want to go through the emotional turmoil of whats coming 

cos i know its coming 

there’s gonna be a graduation scene 

and im very scared 

my mentally ill butt can never be okay for graduation scenes 

and yet my mentally ill butt keeps consuming media set in the senior year of high school 

DAMN THIS ENDING IS GONNA BE LONG 

31:48 MINUTES 

STRAP IN YOUR SEATBELTS COS WE’RE GONNA BE IN FOR ONE EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER 

NO 

WAIT NO LET THERE BE MORE 

JUST ONE MORE 

OR TWO 

OR AN ENDLESS AMOUNT 

DON’T LET IT BE OVER 

PLEASE 

“its the last day of our high school lives.” ACK SHOOT FREAK FRENCH GUSTAV AND SHOELACES AND TURTLES AND FREAKING SHOOT NOODLES WHAT THE FLIP 

AH SHOOT I FORGOT ABOUT KAJORN BEING A YEAR YOUNGER THAN THEM 

HE HAS TO CARRY ON THEIR LEGACY WITHOUT THEM 

HES FREAKING ALONE 

IDEK IF HE HAS ANY FRIENDS 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ooo we’re gonna get another pool scene soon 

NO STOP IT WITH THE SIGNED SHIRTS I CANT TAKE IT 

‘no one ever asks if i can sign their shirts :[’ ‘sign my shirt’ 

‘ILL WRITE DOWN WHAT I FEEL THAT IM TOO AFRAID TO SAY’ I FREAKING LOVE THEM 

WAIT 

SHOOT

I KNOW I ASKED FOR IT BUT I DIDNT EXPECT THEM TO ACTUALLY DO IT 

IM IN SHOCK 

LITERALLY CRYING 

WHAT THE FLIP 

HOLY FREAK 

NO WAY 

THIS IS THE END 

THAT’S IT

IM DEAD

GONE

DECEASED

THEY FREAKING KISSED 

RIGHT THEN AND THERE 

PROPERLY KISSING 

BEFORE TINNGUN 

WHAT 

IS THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENING 

OW I PINCHED MYSELF 

I LITERALLY CANT BELIEVE IT 

“i wont let you kiss first you barstool” HOW ARE THEY SO- GJRBGIKRB

BUT ONCE ISNT ENOUGH 

OH NO, THEY HAVE TO KISS AGAIN 

JUST TO MAKE SURE IM DEAD 

THEY ALREADY STABBED ME A COUPLE TIMES 

THEN THEY KISSED AND THEY SLICED ME IN HALF WITH A REALLY COOL SWORD 

AND NOW THEYRE SLICING MY HEAD OFF JUST TO MAKE SURE IM DEAD 

‘STOP TRYING TO LOOK HANDSOME IDIOT BECAUSE ITS MAKING MY HEART SO WEAK’ I CANT WITH THESE TWO 

I LITERALLY CANT EVEN PROCESS THAT THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED 

SURELY IM DREAMING RIGHT NOW

THERES NO WAY THEY ACTUALLY FREAKING KISSED 

AND TIWPOR RIGHT AFTER??? IT’S TOO MUCH POWER 

AWWWWWW NOOK AND YOOOO

BUT POOR PAT IS COMPLETELY LONELY 

PLS LET PAT NOT BE LONELY FOREVER 

THEY BETTER GIVE PAT SOME HAPPINESS 

NO?? THEYRE JUST GONNA CHANGE THE SCENE LIKE THAT??? OKAY THEN???????? 

no but why wasnt tiwporpat an option 

they couldve gone down the polyamory route 

as much as i love poking fun at pat being lonely, i want him to be happy, and tiwporpat makes sense 

(i must also say that patjorn also makes sense and i wouldnt have been mad if they went down the tiwporpat route or the patjorn route. theyre both amazing. but no, they went with pat is lonely forever and its really freaking sad. thanks guys.) 

OH TINNGUN POOL SCENE 

POOL SCENE NUMBER... IDEK AT THIS POINT 

they should kiss btw 

GUN WROTE #MYSCHOOLPRESIDENT ON TINN’S SHIRT AND TINN WROTE ‘APPROVED BY THE SCHOOL PRESIDENT’ ON GUN’S SHIRT AND ITS SO FREAKING PERFECT 

IT COMES FULL CIRCLE SO BEAUTIFULLY 

THEY LITERALLY COULDNT HAVE WRITTEN ANYTHING GREATER 

I FREAKING LOVE THIS SHOW 

tinngun still have not kissed 

NO PLS I CANT TAKE IT WITH THE HEARTFELT SPEECHES 

HOW DO YOU CRY SILENTLY 

NO THEYRE PLAYING ONE LAST SONG TOGETHER 

STUFF YOU 

I LITERALLY DONT KNOW IF IVE EVER CRIED HARDER THAN I DID WHILE WATCHING THAT FREAKING FINAL SONG 

tinn’s father is so neurodivergent i love him 

OMG GUN IS ACTUALLY SITTING AT THEIR TABLE AND HAVING A MEAL WITH THEM 

IT’S NOT IMAGINARY GUN 

IT’S REAL GUN 

THIS IS CRAZY 

PFFFFFFT TINN’S DAD HELPED HIM WRITE THE SONG FOR GUN 

THAT’S FREAKING HILARIOUS 

OH MY GOSH THEYRE ABOUT TO KISS- 

darn you gun and your bloody hand in the way 

too many times 

this has happened far too many times 

just kiss 

please

YES 

GOOD 

EXCELLENT 

but also soundwin did it first 

ANYWAY THAT WAS PERFECT 

OH MY GOSH 

IM NOT OKAY 

(the funniest thing about me constantly saying ‘im dying’ or ‘im dead’ is that my fitbit hasnt been able to pick up on my heartrate for literally hours. like, since i started watching the episode. it just stopped working. and if your heart isnt beating, you’re quite literally dead.) 

final thoughts / main takeaways from that episode (and therefore the whole show) 

tinngun are very cute 

tinngun are patpran variants (we already knew this but still) 

tiwpor havent been dating the whole time but there was definite crushing for a very long time 

pat is sad and lonely and pls let there be tiwporpat or patjorn at some point in the future 

we need a sequel please and thank you 

soundwin are freaking perfect 

this show is perfection 

im mentally ill 

that teacher sucks 

tinn’s dad is neurodivergent and i love him 

photjanee is amazing and awesome and i love her 

gim is the greatest mother and i love her 

i love all of these characters way too much  and, last but not least, 

soundwin did it first. 

[scrambled-eggsed]

gonna say smth about a ballad of songbirds and snakes even though i havent read the book and only saw trailers and listened to the olivia rodrigo song

i had a friend who watched the movie and said "it was good but it wasnt really the hunger games" and yeh sounds about right! from what im getting the prequel is built to be aesthetically completely different from the trilogy. the overarching story is entirely different, its focusing on an actual love story/a sort of relationship bw two characters for the major arch of the film, rather than fit that into a saga about fighting the fascist regime

which is not to say the the prequel is just a simple nd shallow story set in the hunger games' world of atrocities, because the relations bw the two characters are still built with that tension in mind. but it should be just ever so slightly separated from those atrocities, only for you to get hit in the face with them when it inevitably tears the characters apart

and thats why i honestly really love the title - its a ballad, its a strange forgotten story, its something just a little different and unknown in this setting. despite only being a few decades b4 the main plot its still set in an othered tone. something that diverges aesthetically from anything you could expect from the hunger games

especially since its a character we know from the trilogy, especially since its so bizarre to see him young and compassionate and full of emotion. its not impossible, it isnt out of character, not really. its just unthinkable - which only adds to that air of the unlikely story about an unlikely relationship

even lucy gray (whom again i only know from trailers) stands out in a way that she could only be seen as a myth through the lenses of the trilogy - as in, through the standard we, the viewers who know how the country looks in its future, expect to see. but shes unique - her attitude towards the capitol, towards snow himself, is defiant and rebellious in a way we never see from anyone aside from those who eventually knock the capitol down

and again, she stays within its limits - right up to the end. the only spoiler i know is what happens to her at the end of the movie, which is the aforementioned punch in the face of the world and its circumstances - such a character doesnt stay, doesnt get an ending of settling down in the system. without knowing id already guessed she either dies or runs off, because theres isnt another option for an end to this ballad. only smth that would truly pin down the story aesthetically, and let us fill in for ourselves the gap of the next few decades in snow's life

and tbh thats why ive been listening to "cant catch me now" on repeat today. bc its so perfect for this tone, for the notion of a forbidden and lost story, which only serves to add a bit of shadow and context to the cold and heartless character we see in the trilogy. the melody is so gentle and free, really ties up the story of these two characters, the final and bottom-line principle we now know of the betrayal and anger snow carries inside him. no sympathy or pity, just acceptance that although there used to be something good in him, it had long since died. all the same longing and emotion, with understanding for the hurt and the pain under the layers of cruelty

from what i gather the country in the movie is set with technology that is perceived to us as just a little outdated for the trilogy, and same with the fashion. and along with all the callbacks/callforwards to the trilogy it only help to build this story as a magical ballad, myth, legend of this world, something so big yet so delicate and special that set in motion the inevitable uprising decades later. the same spark that we saw light up in the trilogy had started burning here. absolutely magical

honestly im interested to hear if i got any of this right. and also do you guys recommend the movie is it good lmk im considering watching it

[shion-yu]

Day 8: Hospital Bed (alt)

TW major angst warning and talk of chronic/terminal illness. We know Cliff gets his happy ending, but here’s a pre-transplant snapshot. 1,169 words, for @sicktember.

Unlike in the movies, there’s not really a sound as medication drips steadily into the half filled IV chamber. Maybe if it was totally, utterly silent, one could hear something. But in the hospital it’s never truly silent. There’s always the buzzes and beeps of machines, people’s voices near and far in the hallways and different rooms regardless of the time of day, the hiss of oxygen and SCD pumps. The staff never sleeps, and often neither can the patients. Cliff thinks he’s forgotten what real silence sounds like. 

He’s been here for two months now, give or take a few days. He’s honestly lost count. All he cares about is that the last time he saw his baby girl was on Christmas, and then it all goes dark for a few weeks. Elliot says it was sudden: he ran a fever that night at Christmas dinner and Elliot drove them home from his parents house in Long Island before desert came out. By midnight Cliff had had a seizure, and by the next morning he was so sick that Elliot thought he was going to die. Cliff nearly did die. 

Aspergillosis is the name of the fungal infection that threw their life into turmoil in the blink of an eye. It made its home in Cliff’s lungs, nestling itself in his already scarred lungs and then destroying what was left of them. They managed to get it under control - a miracle in itself, one doctor claimed - but Cliff would not be leaving the hospital without a new pair of lungs. It turns out that finding a match for a half-Japanese, half-Scottish, O-neg blood type was difficult even with a world famous doctor for a father.

Cliff FaceTimes Mia every day, but it’s not anywhere near the same as being at home with her. He knows she’s confused, she’s only just three after all and Cliff despises that he’s rocked her world more than anything else. He’s been her primary caretaker for her entire life, and now suddenly he’s not able to even give her a hug. 

Elliot tells her that daddy is sick, and she asks when will he get better? Elliot can’t bring himself to answer that. 

Lying in his hospital bed all day, staring blankly at the TV, Cliff often forgets what he’s waiting for. They might never find a donor for him, and in that case what was it all for? To be separated from his family for the last months of his life, filled with regret over time he didn’t get to spend with them? But Elliot reminds him finding a donor means it won’t be the last few months at all. Rather, it could be the beginning of a whole new chapter of their life. And sure, that’s true, Cliff thinks. He just can’t guarantee whether it will become a reality, and that’s the hard part.

He’s trying to keep his hopes up, though. He smiles for Mia and sings with her every night because she loves to sing, just like Elliot. He asks her everything she learned in preschool every day, keeps up with who her best friend is that week, and tells her she’s the most intelligent, funny, smart little girl in the world. When she asks him when he’s coming home, he always says, “Soon,” because he can’t break both of their hearts by saying ‘Someday, maybe, I don’t know.’ 

Elliot visits every other day, more or less. He’s busy  being a working single parent, unexpectedly nonetheless. He always looks exhausted, and although they don’t love each other any less Cliff knows it’s hard for Elliot to look at him sometimes. To see him wasting away, waiting; for the same reason, sometimes Elliot can’t seem to look away. No matter what he looks sad. Cliff hates himself for being the cause of that sadness. He doesn’t know what else to do though when he’s confined to this room and these halls which all look the same.

He does have one friend on the unit, Al. But Al’s not always there. Unlike Cliff, he comes in and out depending on how well he’s doing at the moment. Cliff selfishly wishes he was always there to be a familiar face, but if Al is lucky enough to be able to leave then Cliff will try to be happy for him. 

The nurses are nice, and really sharp for the most part. But it’s obviously not the same as having a life outside of this place. It’s not the same as being home with Mia and watching her grow, hugging her, feeling the spark of life emanate off her rather than the static of crappy WiFi in the hospital. He wants out. He wants out so badly.

When Elliot visits him that evening, Cliff is sullen and withdrawn. Elliot doesn’t try to cheer him up, instead simply sits on the bed and helps Cliff clean up a bit because he hasn’t been doing it himself all day. He brushes Cliff’s hair, untangling the little mats at the back that always form. He helps Cliff take a shower and brush his teeth, changes the sheets, tidies the supplies lying around, and then they settle onto the clean bed together and Elliot rests his head on Cliff’s shoulder. They don’t talk much. Cliff’s sad, Elliot’s tired. There’s no point in pretending it’s something different.

“I miss Mia,” Cliff whispers. “And Clover. I miss home.” 

“I know,” Elliot says. “I miss you being there, too.”

“I don’t know how much longer I can wait,” Cliff says. “I’m sorry.”

Elliot takes his hand and squeezes it. “You just have to,” he says simply. “For us.”

“This summer,” Cliff says. “I’m coming home this summer.”

It’s only February now. Summer seems like a long way away. Cliff doesn’t think it’s unreasonable. Six months of waiting, if he can last that long at all. If it doesn’t happen by then, he wants to spend the rest of the time at home with his family.

To Cliff’s surprise, Elliot says, “Okay. We’ll talk about it.”

He doesn’t cry, even though Elliot usually would. Maybe he’s too tired to cry, Cliff thinks. Maybe he’s thinking the same thing. They give it more than a good shot, but if it’s not going to happen, why stay here in isolation? It’d be like spending the last months of your life in jail.

Cliff feels guilty for bringing it up, but it’s been something he’s wanted to say for many days now. To make it feel just a bit more hopeful, he squeezes Elliot’s hand back and says, “Hopefully we won’t have to talk about it.” Elliot nods. Cliff kisses the top of his head. Elliot’s hair smells like Mia’s strawberry scented baby shampoo. He closes his eyes and imagines he was in his favorite place - in their bed, cuddling with both of them. One way or another, he tells himself, he’ll get that again. He has to.

Summer seems a long way away.

[just-horrible-things]

‘Verse: Resistance Story: Chewtoy AU, co-author @whump-sprite Timeline: The Resistance have rescued Connor from the feds

Fix Him [Prev | Next]

The soft click of the door makes Ariadne jump, and her flinch jostles Connor and makes him twitch. He tries to move his limbs and cries hoarse and Ari pats his cheek and hushes him “Shhh, shh, be still.”

Morgen is back, and dread curdles down the length of Ari’s spine.

Has she done something wrong already? Has she forgotten something? Is it time for the witch to rip what she wants out of Connor’s mind?

If she lets Ari stay with him and try to comfort him through it, she’ll count that as a mercy. She’ll try to count it as a mercy. She’ll swallow the anger bubbling in her throat and fizzing across her tongue because she is grateful, she is.

She eases her aching, cramping leg out from under Connor so that she can get up. He shudders and moans, eyes glassy.

“It’s about time he can have a little more morphine,” Morgen says. “I have a few minutes, so I thought I’d come and check that you’re okay giving it.” “Thank you,” says Ari, because Morgen’s tone suggests that this is a favor she’s doing them.

She’s self-conscious checking the notepad. She doesn’t have her instructions memorized yet. She doesn’t want to get this wrong.

She draws up the drug from the hand-labeled bottle, just like Morgen showed her. As she moves to put it into the IV, the witch steps closer to watch her hands, and Connor sees her. With a sharp, cracked yell he tries to flinch away.

“Shh!” Ari tells him. “Connor, be still. I’m not hurting you.”

Her hands shake a little, but it’s not technically difficult. Morgen nods approval, and Ari hates the sickly way gratitude twists inside her chest.

Connor’s gaze is locked onto Morgen, and his breathing stays ragged and choppy despite the fresh drugs. Ari is reluctantly grateful again when Morgen nods her towards the door to talk outside. It gets the witch out of the room with him.

She follows at Morgen’s heels, obedient, ready to receive orders and just hope it’s nothing that will hurt Connor.

Once the door is closed, Morgen turns to her.

“You see a lot of people like this, Milonas?” Ari swallows, caught off guard. “I used to,” she hedges.  Her heart is suddenly racing, trying to break out from behind her sternum. “Not since Connor rescued me.” Rescued feels like a lie but it’s not, it’s not. “Before that I be– I, mh, I was kept in a blacksite, a prison. 17.”

I belonged to a torturer, she almost said.

She’s not meant to think like that. She absolutely doesn’t want to say that, especially not to the Resistance. She nearly did.

Morgen’s gaze is cool and critical, but she inclines her head. Ari looks down at her own feet, at the scuffed toes of her boots. She feels scruffy and dirty and small.

Deep breath in, slow and subtle so it isn’t obvious.

“This…” she falters, “He’s… not gonna get better, from this.” 

She’s looked at his hands, his ankles, his feet. If the infection doesn’t kill him, he’ll never walk again. He'll never use his hands. 

She drags her gaze up to reluctantly meet Morgen’s eyes. “Can… you fix him?”

She has nothing to offer that she hasn’t already promised them. Nothing that they can’t take with or without her consent if they want it.

“I’ll kill for you, I’ll die for you, anything you want, anything I can.” 

She has to try.

“I’m a witch, not a goddess.” For a second Morgen sounds annoyed and Ari is cringing inside, ready to drop to her knees.

Then the witch’s expression softens a fraction. “My brother is a healer,” she says. “He’ll do what he can. It’s not… It’s not like he snaps his fingers and it’s better.” Another frown. “You know that. You’ve seen kept healers.” “Thank you,” Ari breathes. “Thank you so much.”

“Don’t expect the results to be perfect. But… he’s brought people back from this kind of condition before. No need for killing or dying. I can kill perfectly well on my own. And I can’t imagine how your death would do us any good. Besides, he needs you.” “Thank you,” Ari repeats, hating how pathetic she sounds. "Thank you."

“The man who did this,” Morgen says. “Well. The lead interrogator responsible for this.” “Maclauren.” For a second Morgen looks surprised, then her eyes narrow. “How would you know that?” Ariadne quails. “I – I don’t,” she flounders, “I just – the pattern, his ankles, a-and hands, and, Maclauren has a grudge, I just assumed — I shouldn’t have assumed. I don’t know that, it was a guess, I’m sorry.” “Maclauren has a grudge against Thompson? Why?” “Because he took from Maclauren when he saved me.”

Silence. Ari is frozen, naked under Morgen’s scrutiny as if her gaze could pierce her clothes and pick out every scar.

“Well,” the witch allows eventually, “you guessed right. Maclauren wasn’t there when I went in. I’d have liked the chance to kill him. Your Connor isn’t the first he’s hurt.” Not by a long, long way. Shivers race across Ari’s skin. She can scarcely breathe. “Connor isn’t in any state to answer questions yet. So perhaps you can help us.” “Anything,” Ari promises, too fast. “You knew him. I want to know anything that might help me find him.” “O-of course. I, uh, i-it’s all years out of date, I’m sorry, but – of course.”

She knows his full name, and his serial number. She’s written it on enough forms that even after two years, it’s still engraved in her mind. She doesn’t remember the license plate of the car he drove when she was a trainee, but she remembers the make and color. 

With every detail she gives, she paints a picture of how close she was to him.

She knows that he likes to go out for drinks after work, especially at the end of the week. She can name some bars he used to frequent, maybe still does. 

She can feel the stain of association like a slick of grease across her skin, a filth that she’ll never be rid of. How much can she say before the warlocks understand that she participated in what he does to their kind? Before they decide that she deserves to share in whatever death they have planned for Riven?

It might be worth it, she thinks, so long as he dies too.

She even remembers an address, where he used to live, and that interests Morgen more than any of the rest.

“That, it, was five years ago, no, um, six? He might have moved since then…” “Even an old address might be enough to let me scry him. Thank you, Milonas. When I kill him, I’ll  let you know.”

[Next]

[smoosnoom]

hello moonie :] i listened to the songs u gave me and !

i really really luved 'how soon is now?' by the smiths and i definitely need to listen to them more !!! im so obsessed w how he sings certain lyrics it sounds So nice (literally listneing to the song rn as i type lol)

u were right abt me enjoying 'crybaby' by destroy boys a lot as i already know that song and its one of the 2 or 3 songs i know from them lol . its really really good

i Immediately added 'saturnine' to my main playlist once it was over !! the chorus is So nice to listen to i really luved it !

i had forgotten u said u were going for the vibe of floating in the ocean and when listening to 'andromeda' i literally thought 'this song feels like floating down a river or something' . the way she sings 'let me in if i break / and be quiet if i shatter' was So. gah . its good.

as for my recommendations:

summertime - my chemical romance

heaven, iowa - fall out boy

unpunishable - ethel cain (the chorus of this song is Everything)

so far so fake - pierce the veil (1:30-on, but especially 2:25-~3:00 is Beautiful. i . luv guitars .)

and bonus song because its all that stuck in my head currently : bury me in black (demo) - my chemical romance . very different from the other ones lol .

ok that is all i think :> i hope your week is good and not stressful and that any writing block u may have is broken <33 also do not worry about answering this quickly i am So ok w patiently waiting until ur able to answer please do not feel bad if it takes a while ok byebye ily

yes omg ok i am such a fan of the smiths . which is probably my biggest red flag LOL but i cant help it !!!! theyre so good !!!!! and i think half of it is just how morrisey sings some certain words . he is such an asshole but Damn it if he doesnt make his songs unique .

i think u already knowing and liking the song is so crazy but also . i am kind of proud of myself for guessing right on ur taste :D

im honored !!!! and yes i have a whole playlist about just . songs that feel like floating around on some mystical beach, its based on this freaky dream i had but . if u ever want it ...

ohhh i should say . i am in fact an mcr and fob fan LOL . i have already listened to both those songs, summertime is sososoooo good but so is the entire album, and ive been loving the new fob album :D i think my personal favorite is maybe . well ok i have three LOL "love from the other side", "heartbreak feels so good", and "i am my own muse" ofc . i feel like i picked the most popular ones 😭 theyll probably change ! also . completely unrelated omg but ive been . kind of . crushing on a specific white man ok and specifically ethan hawke and then imagine my surprise when i see him on the album ??:W?? what the hell was that . what the he lll . anyway .

ok i listened to unpunishable and i love love loveeeeed the section after 3:30-ish . like it was soo like . metallic sounding with her vocals and the ringing guitar and it was just so everything . it made me want to write something crazy so badly, it was amazing !!! ive only heard a few songs by her but this one is definitely top three for me i think . wow

i did have . a pierce the veil phase for like fiveseconds in middle school LOL but i enjoyed this one !!! i got flashbacks to 2018 but i really did enjoy it :D i think ill always like their sound, its always so . indulgent . i did really like the bit at 2:25-3:00, i didnt even realize u commented on it LOL i was like Wow . wow . it was so so good

oh i loveee bury me in black . that entire era will b so close to my heart forever i think and its just so . good . oh my god . the brash guitar and drums are soooo . i need them permanently playing forever and ever

ok sorry for giving u a whole essay 😭 i just had a lot to say i think LOL

but here are mine !!!!

if u liked how he sings certain lyrics then u would loveeee "a rush and push and the land is ours" by the smiths . the way he sings rush and push . oh boy

are u a fan of p!atd ? i think u would like them even tho i am brendon urie's biggest hater . but ryan ross ... loml . anyway . "new perspective" is so underrated and one of my favorites, very reminiscent of the 2000s pop punk scene !

also a more like . "weird" sounding song but its so so good . "girls & boys" by blur ! its one of their more popular songs but it holds up so so well

and . in honor of me purchasing a radiohead poster . i think u would love radiohead . i recommend . "just" . a popular song but i think u would absolutely enjoy it and My Bad if u have already heard it before . if u have i would not be surprised !!! i think it trended on tiktok for a second ? idk

anyway . thank u so much for being so so patient, it means everything to me :) i adore the songs u recommend me and i was kind of itching to answer this to get some more recs LOL . ok byebye ilyt !!!!!!

[walnutcookie]

Walnut got cursed... and so did Rougefort.. mind explaining? :3

HI OKG RARE COOKIE RUN POST FROM ALMOND LOL. oh boy.. i know ive talked about walnuts curse before somewhere on my blog ? but im in the process of rewriting all of that so it is currently Under Construction and i dont think i should talk about it quite yet FHSKJFSHJFK BUUUT I WILL EXPLAIN ROGUEFORTS CURSE HERE!!! (TYSM FOR THIS ASK BTW ANON GWAU)

I may have forgotten a few details here because i havent thought abt their curse in a hot minute...

this takes place around the time that roguefort starts really taking the thief thing seriously - as in, it isnt just a party trick. they are committing Actual crimes and stealing real things. if you arent aware of my headcanons, a brief summary is that roquefort was living on the streets until they started living in their cousin cheesecake's mansion :] As a favor (since she was housing them) they agreed to Spice Up her parties in some way... inspired by a book they read, they tried pretending to be a phantom thief who stole something from cheesecake and people loved it!!!

They really liked the attention they got from it and found acting quite fun so they decided to take a big step further and start doing actual crimes. they had already been learning illusion magic and came across a spell that, if wearing the gem they meant to enchant, would give them the ability to phase through objects at will - it sounded pretty great, yknow? it would make stealing things easy!!! but they had to go and fuck up the spell and now its more of a curse GBDFLNFLFJ

phantom bleu... emphasis on the phantom!

as seen in the pic their skin lost its color and their eyes went from brown to white. The spell still works as intended mostly but it has way more side effects :'] without the gem they arent very ghostly, its mostly just the way they look that was affected, but while wearing the enchanted jewel its difficult to keep their spell regulated. over time theyve learned how to manage with it and the main thing they learned was to use it sparingly (to make sure they dont goof up in front of an audience, and to not be TOO obvious because part of their act is how mysterious they are. If people knew they just walked through a wall instead of mysteriously and miraculously disappearing it would be no fun!!!!). They put on a loooot of makeup to make themself look more alive whenever theyre performing too

one downside to the curse is that fun fact! your body does NOT like being forced into a state of unreality! every time they take the gem off and become normal again their whole body burns inside and out for varying lengths depending on how long theyve been in that ghost-like state </3 One way to relieve it is to have their skin come in contact with another person's skin. kind of like their body going "ohhh this is what its supposed to feel like" and those spots turn back to normal (i hope im making sense???) They often ask cheesecake for hugs for just a little bit of temporary relief :]

they absolutely hate how they look. they hate looking in the mirror and seeing evidence of their mistake. it makes phantom bleu that much more appealing - even if its all fake, at least they can PRETEND to be normal. they can pretend like they never ruined their own life. they can just cover up all their flaws and mistakes and hide it under a smile and hope someone eventually will come along and see that theres more to them than just the mask they wear

[fortunawren]

IV. Sitas

Trigger Warning: Mommy Domme + Light Switch Erotica. Read at your own risk. 

Here's a secret about Mommy--sometimes she likes it when her sweetheart is just a little bit rough with her.

Now, he can't speak for all Mommies. Maybe some of them don't like it when their littles seize drops of power to use against them. But, his Mommy does. She likes brats. She likes teaching them how to behave, and rewarding them when they are exceptionally good. She says it's because good boys deserve to be rewarded, but another secret is that Mommy loves cock.

Especially his, or so he's told.

Still, he was slightly surprised when she told him about tonight's game. To be fair, this isn't usually how they play and he's not sure if his recent behavior warrants such a gift. To be honest, he's been a bit of a brat lately despite all of Mommy's gentle warnings. So, when she said that she was going to let him fuck her from behind, he didn't know what to think.

A full ten seconds passed before he even said anything, and even then, it was an "If you're sure, Mommy."

Which she was.

She's almost always sure.

And she makes such a pretty picture, too. Her knees are digging into her navy blue sheets while her freckled ass is perched in the air. Her orange robe is forgotten on the floor, and lucky him, she wasn't wearing anything under it.

Mommy wiggles her hips as he approaches, cock in hand. The small shift in her hips forces a wayward thought in his head about spanking her. His dick practically twitches with the force of the idea. He's never seen what his handprint would look like against her fair skin.

But that's not tonight's game.

She wiggles her hips again, almost encouraging his naughty idea. He can't help but smile. Perhaps Mommy loves brats so much because she's one herself.

All he's really certain of is the heaviness of his cock in his hand. Each stroke is pure torture. He wants so much to take what's right in front of him. What's worse is knowing how good she feels when she's squeezing the life out of him. It's almost enough to drive a groan from his throat.

But he's not allowed to touch her.

Not yet.

He has to wait for her permission.

Still, just the thought of entering her---or again, the thought of painting her pretty skin red, makes him swell. The sound of his fist moving up and down his length is the only noise in the room beside the crackling of two wood-wick candles meant to set the mood.

He tries to focus on the subtle popping of the candle instead of the sight in front of him, or the sound of him jacking himself off because even that might be enough to send him over the brink. He tries to think about the scents that he's getting; jasmine for one, and maybe a bit of manufactured leather?

"That's right," Mommy says as if she knows that his thoughts are starting to wander to get away from the intensity, "Get hard for Mommy, Sweatheart. I need you to get nice and big--all swollen for me so you can fuck me."

The whole time she's being an utter minx with her words, she's snaking her arm down her body so her fingers can rub at her clit. He has to close his eyes---the sight is too great. Otherwise, he'll cum right there and the whole game will be over.

She releases a soft little moan, but she might as well have screamed it. The moment his ears consume the sound, it runs through his body like static. All he can truly focus on is the undeniable knowledge that she's going to be wet. Maybe even soaked.

He knows it.

As gorgeous as the siren song of her pleasuring herself is, he doesn't dare open his eyes. He's vindicated in his logic when he hears her moan again, this time louder. With it, she says something like, "Feels so good" but most of her words are muffled as if she has her face right in the mattress.

Fuck me, he thinks because now he has to know. He has to see if she's got her face in the mattress already.

It takes one quick and benign pep talk before he manages to open his eyes. Whatever fantasy he'd constructed in his head quickly disassembles in favor of the real thing. Unfortunately, it turns out to be a far more enthralling sight.

Mommy's forehead is nestled in the curve of her elbow. Her little fingers have her poor clit trapped, and she's moving them in tight, eager circles as if she's trying to push herself over as fast as she can. He's downright enchanted with the sight.

And amazed with his strength.

He tries to work his erection at the same pace as her. The only mercy he shows himself is the slight loosening of his grip, but it proves too much. Entirely too fucking much.

He's never going to last. She's going to kill him.

Mommy stops playing with her clit, and his heart skips a beat. His mind plays a gentle chorus of *finally. But she's a cruel mistress, really, because her fingers only rise to her tight entrance. She dips one finger in, humming in the back of her throat.

Then she's pulling it out with a slick sound.

Fuck.

He'd been right. She's absolutely soaked.

Mommy raises and looks over her shoulder at him with a damning little smirk. Her cheeks are pink, but her eyes are hungry. Starving, even. It's enough to make him swallow, but she's not even looking at his face. Her eyes are zeroed in on his dick. She's inspecting it. Making sure that he's ready. She bites her lip and then smiles wider.

Softly, she says, "I think you're ready, don't you?" Before he can answer, she adds a pitched, "Are you ready to fuck Mommy?"

"Yes," He nearly whines. He's of enough sense to hastily correct, "Yes, Mommy. I'm ready."

She looks away from him, easing back down. His eyes trace the movement, nearly bulging when the globes of her ass spread. He finds that he likes her like this, but knows he will like it much more when he's buried to the root.

But then she's slipping two fingers into her entrance, dipping them in so, so slowly. Her pussy eagerly accommodates. She breathes out an, "Oh" that makes him want to die. He has to bite back a groan, but in that, he's unsuccessful.

Truthfully, it could be worse.

He could be releasing ropes all over her back right now unapologetically.

Mommy pants, "Oh, that's so good."

"Mommy," He doesn't mean for it to come out--his little plea. He had no intention of begging. He didn't even think he would have to given how she'd approached him. Hell, she'd answered the door in just her robe.

"I know, baby," She coos, "I know. Just a little bit longer."

Kill me.

The voice in the back of his head taunts. It says that he should've known better. It hasn't been this easy since the honeymoon phase when they couldn't get enough of each other--when they were still learning each other and everything was so very new.

Sentimentality does a lot to relieve the ache. He wants to brag. He wants to say something along the lines of, "See, Mommy. I can control myself." but that would most likely end terribly and he probably wouldn't be able to cum for a whole week. And she'd probably call him over every single day just to do something hell-raising evil like making out while she ground down on him like they were horny teenagers just to send him home before 7 pm.

She's subtly evil regarding her psychological schemes.

"Just a couple more minutes," She pants into her arm, "Fuck. You can wait, right?"

No, not really. He wants to say, but he regains only in memory of the promise she made him in the beginning---that she wants to give him what he wants. More than anything. And, in her own way, Mommy always gives him the things that he wants. Spoiling brings her nearly as much joy as taming does.

So, he knows that eventually, she'll let him sink into her wet cunt, and eventually, he will fuck her right into the mattress like she said he could.

Just a couple more minutes. Just a couple more minutes. Just a couple more minutes.

It's faith in her promise that allows him to croak, "Yes, Mommy, I can wait."

"That's good, baby," She pumps her fingers in her pussy and his jaw unhinges. His mouth is nearly watering, and he knows that if he's not careful, he's going to start leaking. He thinks about stopping, but she knows that she'll hear it the moment that she does, and that might delay this whole thing.

*Just one more minute,*he comforts himself, just one more lousy fucking minute.

It's a shallow angle. Mommy's not hitting any of her favorite spots. All she's effectively doing is stretching out the first inch or so for her sweetheart. But he can see the highlights of arousal starting to drop down her fingers in the candlelight. It's such a captivating sight, but he doesn't stop stroking---although he really wishes he could.

Heat rises up his body starting at the base of his cock. All he can do is watch as she starts to rock back against her fingers, deliberately sinking them in further without any resistance. She groans, "Yes."

He starts to reconsider his stance on spanking.

"You know--"

She stops talking.

Mommy stops talking so she can fuck her own fingers right in front of him. He doesn't know if it's the wetness sliding down her fingers, or the slick metronome of her fingers thrusting into her pussy that makes him say, "Mommy, please."

"Fuck," She whimpers, and then she says, "You know Mommy's doing this all for you. I have to get ready for you. You wouldn't want to hurt Mommy with your thick cock would you?"

He would.

Just a little.

But instead, he says almost innocently, "No, Mommy."

She slips her fingers in and out of her cunt thirteen more times--each proving to be a greater reflection of her training. He hadn't known he could resist to this extent, especially when given something so tempting.

He's tempted to pull her arm behind her back and shove his cock into her. It's an almost bowing thought and one that takes him completely by surprise for the utter roughness of it, but there's a fire in his stomach and he knows she'd take it so well. He channels the fragments of the vision into his next words, "Please stretch your pussy for me, Mommy."

It's not directly bratty. Darker, than anything. Almost like a warning---and just a little out of character. Excitedly, and most hornily, he accepts that this is something new for them.

"Okay, baby," She pants nicely, "Just a bit more time, then. Since you want it so bad."

He looks down at his cock almost apologetically. He's starting to leak, and he'd let impulse take him when he swore he was going to behave. He clenches his jaw and closes his eyes again. He tries to maintain the pace and then wonders if he could slowly change his strokes to something more forgiving without her noticing.

Another thought crosses his mind; he could drop to his knees right now and lick up the mess she's made of herself. He'd press his tongue against her abused and neglected clit and wouldn't let up until she was crying.

But that's another game for another time--or maybe the follow-up to him filling her up with so much cum that it's dripping down her thighs.

Just the thought has him pulsing.

Mommy sucks in two breaths before she removes her fingers. The sound her pussy makes as they exit will probably haunt his daydreams during the most inopportune times.

"Okay," His mind nearly blanks with her concession, but he does manage to open his eyes, "Now, you have to listen, okay?"

Quickly--too quickly for sanity--he agrees, "Okay."

Truly, he means anything.

"You have to be slow, okay?" She moves to look over her shoulder at him, "You have to be gentle."

There's a sternness in how she looks at him.

"Okay, Mommy," He agrees as sincerely as possible, "I'll be gentle."

"That's a good boy," She grins at him---one of her truly happy smiles. He wants to kiss her, and she thinks that she would find that very endearing but the absolute pain in his dick prevents him from being that sweet. Mommy settles down low into a similar position as before, "Put your cock in me, sweetheart. Please."

He accepted some time ago she'd probably be his cause of death. He feels the start of a heart attack for sure.

But she's not finished.

"Mommy needs it bad."

He smirks.

He can't help it.

He releases his cock, finding purchase on her hip instead. He tugs her back just a little and she scoffs. He leans down and kisses her back, and says, "Sorry, Mommy."

His other hand lines his cock up with the seam of her pussy. He doesn't resist the urge to drag the tip of it across her clit, and she flinches involuntarily with the pleasure, "Don't be a tease."

He wants to bark out a laugh but he resists.

Still, he doesn't waste her time. He dips in so slowly he thinks he might die--proving to them both that he can be immensely gentle. It's an excruciating venture. The first press is all wet heat, and then maddening friction. Tight but easily pliant walls part for him at a pace that has him pondering buying her an old clock just so he could time the seconds.

He moves his hips slowly. Most controlled.

It dawns on him that this is probably the best behaved he's been in some time, and somehow Mommy is so prone beneath him. Each time he pulls out in an attempt to keep his cock coated with her arousal, she releases the softest little whimpers, urging him on with an even softer, "Put it back in."

Still, it's not long until she's swallowed him whole. His hips press against her back as he grinds gently against her, head dropping to bestow even softer kisses against her back.

"Thank you, darling," She says sweetly.

And fuck him, he knows that tone entirely too well. He knows that nothing good for his health ever comes from that voice.

"Now," She begins, and he groans. Mommy starts again, sterner, "Now, don't move or we'll have to stop. Do you understand?"

No. No. No.

It takes him a moment to respond.

"Okay?"

She checks in, and he swallows, looking down to where their bodies are joined.

"Yes, Mommy."

All he can think somewhere in the depths of his mind is that he's wearing her like a sleeve and she doesn't want him to move? This is madness. She's madness.

Mommy moves her hand down her body again---this time her fingers graze his swollen skin before she goes for her clit again. The death grunt he let out is nearly embarrassing.

"You feel so good," She whines, tightening around her as she rubs herself, "You fill Mommy up so good."

"I'm trying," His building resentment with this whole trap boils.

"Don't be bad," Mommy says, "You know what happens when you're bad."

She squeezes down on his cock while she says it. It's her favorite little trick and it's almost horrid how it'd will him into compliance. The sounds that escape her are also mind-altering. Better than LSD.

He's not exactly sure he's meant to win this game.

But he wants to.

"So good," She hums, "You're so good to let Mommy use you like this."

To buy back some favor, he leans down and kisses her skin again, "Thank you, Mommy." His kisses bring forth a new angle that has her springing forward. The smile that spreads across his lips, and against her skin does nothing to soften her intentions. He tries to remedy it, "Thank you for using me."

But it's too late.

Mommy carefully leans forward, pulling away from him. He whines. Cruelly, she listens to him and sinks back down all the way. The whole thing has him looking up at the ceiling.

"Fuck," She breathes as she does it again. And then again, and again. His eyes almost roll into the back of his head, and it's with great effort that they don't. She adds, "You're perfect."

That alone should've been the end of him. Perhaps all her training is paying off because he manages to lock his jaw instead of cumming.

She speeds up, and with her, quicker pace comes the mere sound of how wet she is. His eyes keep fighting the good fight--and maybe he would have let them win but he quickly finds reprieve in the sight of her greedily taking him for all he's worth over and over again with her little moans, and ohs and yeses.

And he knows this is what she wanted most. Him, right here, at her disposal. Her heavy, throaty sounds are the only indication he has before she falls forward. He has no choice but to dig his fingers into her hips to her in place.

"Thanks, Sweetheart," Her pace makes her reckless, and he knows that she's getting close by the way her words break, "Such a--you're such a good boy. You have such a nice cock, too. Say it's mine."

Her fingers move recklessly, her hand sometimes meeting his cock in her efforts.

His teeth are going to crack.

"Do you want to make Mommy come?"

"Yes," He says, "More than anything. I need you to cum on my cock, Mommy."

Her next words are breathy, "Good. Good," there's a long pause, "Then Mommy needs you to fuck her. I need you to be sweet--"

Sweet?

"--and slow, okay? Pull all the way out and push all the way back in. Slow."

He can do that.

He focuses on that word. Slow. And he's very slow in the way his hips rock against her. It's almost delirium in the sense that if she asked him for his social security number and bank security question responses, he'd probably give them to her without missing a beat.

But the thing is, Mommy starts rocking again and she's not at all sweet or slow about it. More like feral.

The room is overcome with the wet slap of skin. The candles no longer a constant in his ears. She moans, "Yes, just like that."

And barely a breath passes before she's adding, "You're fucking Mommy just right. The best."

She squeezes him again, and the fire is spreading through him again. It reaches his cheeks and threatens to take him. He knows that he doesn't have much longer.

She cries out, "Oh, yes. Fuck."

Followed by a long, suffocated whine. She lifts up her head for the sheer purpose of saying, "Mommy's going to cum, baby. I'm going to come on your cock."

"Please," He says. He begs, "Please, Mommy."

"Don't cum," She adds almost as a mumble into the bed, "I'm not finished with you."

A few sloppy thrusts later, he feels her tightening around him and it's not one of her tricks.

"Are you close, Mommy?" He can't help but ask. Really, he's just checking on her.

"Yes, baby. So close."

She's truly gone.

He leans back down and she curses. He whispers as he mouths at whatever he can reach, "Cum for me, Mommy. I need it. I need to feel you break. Please."

Her fingers graze his cock again and he moans. It's seconds later that she tenses, the nearest she's ever gotten to a scream falling from her lips. Her breathing is harsh in the next few moments, but his kisses are plenty. Overkill, maybe.

"Good."

That's all she says for the first few moments, "That's good, sweetheart. So good for me. Now, take Mommy."

Finally.

"Give me another."

"And then I can cum?" He asks because he has to know. He has to have a goal. There's a smile in her response.

"Yes, then you can cum."

She's ridden him senseless, and they've done missionary enough times that he knows how to fuck her. He knows how to make her cum fast, and she really needs her to cum fast. Mommy's intensely responsive, especially when you're whispering the right things in her ear. His hand goes to her breast, first as a soft touch, but then as something with a little more pressure when he gets to her hard nipples.

"Poor Mommy."

"That's your last warning," She says this as sweet as syrup. The queen of passive-aggressiveness.

But moves his hips a little faster and then circles her nipple with his fingers. He can't pinpoint a time in his head that she's been this wet, but that could simply be ego.

"More," She moans. A simple enough plea. But it quickly becomes a string of, "Oh. Oh, fuck. Just like that."

"Yeah, Mommy?" He can't resist when she sounds so overwhelmed, "Just like that?"

Uh-huh.

He's pretty sure he's winning the game.

He feels her squeezing down and grabs her hips--abandoning her poor nipple. She growls, actually growls. But the shallower, more controlled thrusts soon have her moaning once again so he thinks he's in the clear on that one. He's not exactly slow, but he's not ridiculously quick either. He knows that this comes down to friction more than anything.

He finds the spot. He knows he does because she cries, "Yes."

"Right there, Mommy?"

"Yes."

His Mommy sounds broken.

"Are you going to cum again?" He's glad she can't see his face. She wouldn't be pleased with his utter smugness.

"Yeah," She sniffles, "Yeah. You're going to make me cum. Please, Sweetheart. A little faster."

"Of course, Mommy." It's damn near angelic the way he says it.

He complies eagerly with her request.

"Don't cum," She says, "Please don't cum."

He's going to have to make a dentist appointment after this weekend. Her next moan gets stuck in her throat. She clamps down on him and it's difficult not to just let go. He wants to. He needs to but she asked so sweetly. So nicely. He can't disappoint her.

She starts moving against him again and says, "It's almost your turn."

Which, in his opinion, is a fucked up thing to say to someone on the near brink of explosion. He closes his eyes again.

And the demoness has the audacity to say, "You're going to make Mommy cum twice, Sweetheart. What a good boy."

Bitch.

That's his honest thought.

Then, she's cumming, again. Squeezing the life out of him in the hottest, wettest grip. He's going to buy her oranges from the farmer's market or some shit. He doesn't know.

But then he is seized by the realization that it is his turn. Despite the pain in his jaw, he manages to stay still long enough for her to start moving against him again. She coos, "Okay."

"You've been so good at making Mommy cum," He can tell that she is smiling from her almost lazy position, "Why don't you cum now? Hmm?" He looks down at where their bodies are joined and starts moving again in quick friction, "Yes. Use Mommy."

"Fuck," He says this time.

"Would that make you happy?" She asks, "You know Mommy would let you do anything if it made you happy, right?"

"Yes, Mommy."

Once given permission, it doesn't take him long to get there. Freedom runs through him as he empties himself into her sloppy, very well-used cunt. He pulls out of her for the sheer visual of it and the sight of their combined body fluids dripping off him doesn't disappoint.

He finds himself falling against her, kissing the back of her head. Then mouthing at her back. He can tell when she starts to come to and piece together all the things she let him get away with while they were in the throes of it.

So, he smiles, "I think Mommy deserves a present for being so creative and I have the perfect one in mind."

[smallestapplin]

Ok so Ive been thinking… What about Ingo w a s/o who used to be a 911 or emergency services dispatcher. They’re rather small, sweet and soft spoken most of the time but when they need to project their voice it can nearly rival Ingo’s voice in volume and professionalism and a drill seargent’s in authority and intensity. Old habits and training die hard, though they no longer hold the position- many things remain ingrained as instinct. They also have no idea how loud or quiet they are being. Kind and compassionate, but no bullshit when the time comes down to it. Every time it happens everyone looks at them and goes. “How did that big noise come out of you you’re so tiny???” The thought to me is just very very funny and I totally see Emmet going “oh god no now there’s two of them” lmao

(Totally not me projecting because I accidentally scared a co-worker today at the retail store I work at when I called out for people to come up front…and she thought I was pissed.. O_O” oops)

Ngl I just speak softer but come from a loud family, I got lungs and it hurts even me.😭

-

-

🔲Ingo🔲

- Your small stature compared to his tall and lanky one was precious in his eyes, you’re so much smaller than the tall subway boss and he adores it. Something about your head on his chest when you two hug makes his heart pound.

- And you’re the sweetest person he could ever ask for. You constantly bring him lunches during work just to make sure he eats! You’re awfully kind, and you get along with his friends and Emmet.

- And to top it off he finds your soft spoken nature compared to his loud one terribly precious and adorable. You speak with a more mellow indoor voice than his naturally loud speaking voice, he adore it and you.

- You don’t work at the station with him, but this particular rush hour has been rough. Depot agents and the bosses themselves are being stretched far too thin. You were just visiting to give him lunch like you always do.

- But with so many people in one place and so many people not obeying the rules, it was hard not getting involved. Ingo greeted you as usual, but it was plain to see how exhausted he was. He was trying to get someone attention as they were standing in front of the yellow line.

- But for once with the exhaustion and commotion his voice was barely loud enough. So you helped.

- “STAND BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE!”

- Your voice boomed and echoed in the station. So loud the people around you covered their ears or snapped their heads to look at you. People jump back and stand behind the yellow line.

- Ingo is staring at you in pure shock. You have never yelled, not like that, yet your voice drowned out all the sound, overpowering it and getting peoples attention.

- Emmet watched it all through the cameras. His hat covering his face to muffle his groan.

- “Oh sweet Arceus there’s two of them, what did I do to deserve this?” Emmet sinking down his swivel chair, regretting not being absorbed in the womb.

- Ingo and even a few other people are confused, concerned, and impressed. Such a loud commanding voice came from you, someone so small and soft looking.

- That loud sound came from you.

- “Are you okay my love?” You question, but Ingo can only look at you in what you can only describe as awe.

- “I never knew you could get to such volume! That’s truly impressive, bravo!”

- You simply chuckle “it’s just me, now have you had lunch yet? Or do I need to yell at you too?”

- You hand him a lunch box that he had forgotten this morning.

- “I can already tell you, you haven’t taken a lunch break, so get to it!”

- Ingo stiffens up “of course!” Both your voices not echoing in the crowd. You have restored his energy and voice.

- Walking passed the surveillance room you can faintly hear muffled but clearly upset whining. A passenger must be doing something bad again for Emmet to be sounding like that.

- Emmet, now on the floor, can only rethink his life choices. How did it end up like this? How had his life come down to this? Stuck is a verrry loud brother and now his brother’s verrrry loud partner, will he ever know peace?

[jinnaga]

[TEASER] CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT — JJK.

PAIRING jungkook x (female) reader

GENRE smut, fluff and angst 😁 (she's an all rounder yall!)

SUMMARY Law school was an extremely competitive environment so you didn't really have the luxury to get to know a person on a deep level to have a romantic relationship with them, and so, you've been feeling lonely these past few months, having this urge to just... feel something from another human being. Maybe you're looking for love, a fling, a dalliance of some sort, but with your BAR exam coming, you can't exactly date – no, dating someone is gonna add to your long list of problems, put another weight to the stress and pressure you're already carrying and you can't risk the drama it entails... but when your best friend proposes an idea of a situationship to you, you didn't think it sounds too bad.

[THE FOLLOWING DETAILS ONLY APPLY TO THE FIRST PART OF THE SERIES]

ESTIMATED W/C 10k 😐 might be more though because im still finishing up one scene and haven't really edited anything yet soo

WARNING(S)/MISC best friend!jk, very sexy software engineer!jk <<3 (i always imagine him going to college as a compsci major and it makes me dizzy every single time😵), law student!reader (or rather, a graduate in law since she's already reviewing for bar in this story), features the rest of the bts babes and some of the 97liners, fwb!au, vmin are boyfriends here <3, talks about silly crushes and sex, oc has a nipple piercing raaahhhh, explicit smut in the forms of: oral sex (f receiving), penetrative sex but protected 👍🏼, boob sucking lol, praises ?? hmm and i forgot the rest. other misc includes: jk being a dog dad ♥️ (we FUCKING LOVE YOU BAM!), oc suffering from bar reviews, tatted jk sighs, also have i mentioned that jk has a.... lot of piercings in this story? 🤨 anyways that's all i can rmr from what i wrote i'll add what ive forgotten when i post the actual first part! (ps don't forget to imagine in the soop s2 jungkook except his hair is longer like this)

POSTING DATE nov 24th on wednesday, 2am kst

NOTES hey guys very excited to share this with you all 😁 this will be a 4-part series and i hope you will look forward to it!! [update: taglist is closed!]

TEASER W/C 0.5k

CLICK HERE FOR FULL FIRST PART!

He's quiet for a while, then he looks at you. "You want me to be honest with you?"

You're taken aback by the placid tone of his words and his eyes never leaving your own as he spoke them. It somehow makes you feel a little nervous. You try not to gulp too visibly. "O-of course."

The corners of his mouth stretched, as if amused by the way you stutter to such a simple question.

"Can I ask you something first, then?" He asks, and although still hesitant, you nod. Jeongguk continues, "Do you find me attractive?"

The question was so unpredictable that you couldn't possibly hide the shock on your face. He raised his eyebrow, waiting for your response, but nothing came out from you so soon like he expected.

It makes you think. Do you find Jeongguk attractive?

Of fucking course. Duh!

Literally, who wouldn't? On the outside, he's disgustingly handsome, sometimes it makes you pissed how attractive he is, got a body that's just the right buff and big… He's also tall, and the full sleeve tattoo around the entirety of his right arm and piercings on both his lip and brow really add to his naturally oozing charm. Beyond all that superficial aspects though is his kind heart. Jeongguk is, above all, a really good person. Someone you can confide in, someone you can count on. He's someone who has a funny and warm disposition. He's confident in a way that's not bordering on arrogant, just very good at carrying himself that it's… somewhat – okay, not somewhat – it is sexy and hot that he just knows.

On top of that, he's intelligent as hell. Jeongguk is a software engineer in this big tech company hence why he's also rich. He literally has this big ass, grossly priced apartment in Gangnam (where you currently are, by the way. You say it's grossly priced because you know it's expensive as fuck, you're not about to lie and say it's overpriced as his place is really something) because his job pays him well and he's great at it.

He's the total dream guy if you have to be extremely honest and truth be told, if he wasn't one of your closest friends – probably your closest friend – you would've hit on him a long time ago.

"Yeah," you tell him sincerely because there's no point in lying.

There's a grin on his face when he hears your answer.

"I'm glad because I'm about to tell you that I find you attractive too."

You can feel your heart doing a flip or two inside your ribcage, but you ignore the feeling right away, rolling your eyes at him just to prove a point. "Are you saying that because you don't want to embarrass me? It's fine, you can be honest with me."

Immediately shaking his head, Jeongguk stares at you in a way that makes you think he's a little offended with what you said. For what though, you have no idea.

"No? I know you know you're pretty. It's a common fact among friends and people you don't know personally."

There's a rush of heat that spreads throughout your cheeks at his compliment. He sounded like you shouldn't even be questioning it too, nonchalant in a way, but you're not really good with compliments so you try to get a way out.

"Really? Is that your type?" You raised a brow. "Pretty girls?"

Your joke backfires.

With a playful smirk playing on his lips, his answer was an instant, "Yeah."

all rights reserved. jinnaga © 2021.

[scummy-writes]

[CHAPTER 1]

I will be chatting about overall route spoilers since I know some main story ones.

These are essentially personal notes that I am just typing up after I read each chap and just ploppin up here in case others are interested to see how I'm reading this.

"...who was kind and fair and filles with love for all" hurts so much seeing what happens further down in his route. This opening with the juxtaposition of his words ar the end highlights how much his trauma forced him to adapt a certain mindset, one that sounds like what he wants to instill into MC for her own safety.

Is she rumored everywhere to have such a pure heart, or is his obsession with her inflating that in his mind?

But he already highlights how her heart/beliefs gets her into so much trouble- and for the sake of What? Yes, she chooses the next king, but what she has to endure due to that makes it such a heavy issue. Is it worth it?

He points out she'll be corrupted by this and wants to see this, I am fully expecting him to admit at some point that he aids in this corruption because IF she succumbs to it, he would rather play a heavy hand into that rather than watch others taint her. He wants to be the one to teach her the trouvles of having such a loving heart, because of his obsession, and in my mind because he will still be 'gentle' in comparison to others.

Also, I knew he spied on her but did not know how far it went. I assumed the reports were sparse due to the time it may take to get between obsidian and Rhodolite. So hes able to even know what books shes read recently? How often are reports? How many spies are in the town? Is it just the kids and some of them are the ones she reads to?

-> bloodstained rose day is still vague and even ive forgotten what all happened, interested to see the reveal. Vaguely remember its not as it seems, and they immediately introduce that thought.

-> kid gil was just like emma. Kills my fucking heart to know he was trampled on so badly.

-> bite counter: 2. Hehe counter: 1 (i think i missed one)

GILBERT ROUTE SPOILERS POST

When Gilbert's route drops, I'll be reblogging this post each chapter or so with thoughts and general screaming under a cut. I'll be having it in a format with the chapter numbered, and then a cut directly after where I'll be yelling.

I'll be using the tags 'Scum Simps' and 'scum plays gil route' for those of you who want to filter it out. Thank u!

[phoneybeatlemania]

ok idk maybe this is an unpopular opinion but I want to hear your thoughts:

“All Those Years Ago” is kind of…tasteless, right? Like, he’s using a melody that he had already written and then there’s all that religious stuff? idk, like it doesn’t really feel all that heartfelt to me which I didn’t expect from George. Good tune though.

Hmmmm. Okay so, I do largely agree with this (agree about the Religion Stuff being a bad call—but personally don't really see the issue with him using a pre-written melody), and its how Ive felt about the song for awhile now. Not sure if its an unpopular opinion or not though, since I don't see enough discussion surrounding the song to say (I do however know that at least a few other people on here also feel the same way about it).

What bugs me about him bringing up religion in the song is that it kind of hijacks Johns death in order to spread a message about God, which feels disrespectful to me tbh. If John had consistently been a very religious person, I don't think Id really have an issue with this because it would have probably been what he'd wanted. But Johns theism tended to waver, with him going through different theistic phases. So its kind of clear that he was essentially agnostic, and while there were periods of his life where he was more dedicated to certain religions, he tended to outgrow them eventually.

Which is why I find it annoying that George would write something like "They've forgotten all about God / He's the only reason we exist / Yet you were the one that they said was so weird / All those years ago". He's taking the image of someone who was ambiguous and unsure about religion, and then using his death to send a message which is kind of, dare I say, irrelevant.

I would like to clarify though that I don't think George did this with a mal-intent or to consciously try and make Johns image align perfectly with his own beliefs. Most likely scenario is that he probably just got a bit too passionate and swept away by his religious beliefs. It is still just an aspect to the song though—which is otherwise a BOP—which I personally find uncomfortable.

@idontwanttospoiltheparty has a different take on the song though, so if you want to read a counter argument to my own here's a message she sent me once on it:

I have to say, I feel like All Those Years Ago gave me like….kind of clarity on what I think George thought of John, like in the end. But maybe I'm going off the rails with over-interpreting.

So I just think to him John was…like someone who was basically his partner in his transition like into his spirituality. Like the person who saw him through that, and despite them being estranged he always valued him as yeah….this person who accompanied him on a crucial part of his journey.

Like it sort of comes through in the song with how much he focuses both on like You Were So Much Smarter Than Everyone You Got It and specifically how it's "all those years ago", he remembers him mostly for how they were a long time ago.

And there's an interesting part of the song — so like, it seems like George was relatively unbothered by John's death as a concept, but bothered by the violence and unnaturalness of it — and I think some of the weird God ranting is because he's remembering like all the times he thinks John was mistreated and saying it's because other people don't get it.

Like it does actually all feel related to me in a way? Very loosely.

And I find it interesting cause he plays into the whole Martin Luther Lennon trope which only half existed by That Point, but I wouldn't think George would be insincere and yeah, I think he's talking about something far more personal that happens to sound a lot like the Jean Jacket narrative.