#my brains kinda wired with
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Oh god they're gone they're actually gone
Q!Philza is gone
Chayanne and Tallulah are gone.
I'm glad they're together but they're still gone
:(
Everyone is gone. All the eggs.. the sweet little guys are.. just not there anymore. I feel like this is the end. It's all ending and crumbling and it's so sad because I still care so much. Theyve been such a comfort family to me and I know it isnt real, they're characters played by people acting. But for 4-5 hours every VOD I got to be in the POV of a family that really love each other. They were silly and listened to each other and gave up a lot for eachother. They would do anything to keep eachother safe, our brave little warriors with Technoblade watching over them. And then that happy little family got a happily ever after together into the unknown.
But I'm still here.
It's not any of their faults, it's no ones fault at all. I'm always sad when people have to leave, I fear they're also leaving me behind too. And when they say they'll be back I wait for them. I wait and wait and grow so so tired of waiting for something, but nothing. (Tallulah just like me fr damn) Then I meet other people and I'm so sure this time they wont have to go.
I hope they think to take me with them if they do, like Chayanne and Tallulah.
#this sounds super dramatic#yea i know it does#my brains kinda wired with#dramatic the disorder#ill call it that#yknow i saw in my med report that i was overly dramatic#i dont disagree i feel like things are bigger than they actually are#ughvhd sometimes i dont know if something is actually fucked or its my brain making things kaiju sized#this sucks and im sad |:(#im gonna cry and journal some shit#crowmancerx#goodbye qsmp#goodbye chayanne#goodbye tallulah#goodbye q!Philza#i had a lot of fun at least#long vent#vent post#vent#oh god please skip this post it sux
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uh. yeah i have no excuse i just couldn't decide between scribblin' up a monster or Home so i fused the two. monster home for No concrete reason!
#splintery wood ribs and uhhhhh Brick Hooves and Wires!#ngl this was slightly inspired by hell pigs? obviously has Deviated from that image but yk#in my mind they have a large living space inside#complete with a lil window hatch for wally to say hi to his friends#so they're still Technically a functioning house! just with legs! and. uh. skin? kinda?#idk! to me the 'skin' isnt actual skin. it feels oily but Isnt#again! In! My! Mind!#my brain will take anything and run with it and oh boy is it sprinting#i could have given home hands. i could have. but i didnt <3#imagine this freight train of a beast running ya down! i think i'd enjoy it!#scribble salad#i dont know what the 'fur' is. its definitely not fur i think...#maybe it should be wires? tentacles? hay?#eh it doesnt really matter! i doubt ill ever draw this Beast again#monster scribblin is a fun way to cool down And warm up!
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we are so back! (again) been a bit dead the last few days, but ive recovered some energy.
im glad the stuff i queued for community week posted with no issues dmhsskhskshs (i tried to space them out so i don't get mistaken for some bot???) i was planning on adding more to it since i have a few more in wip status but kinda ran out of energy orz anyway im glad to be able to do a dive on few of the many wonderful khr ocs ive been meaning to get to know more abt hehehe sorry not sorry for the spam 🫶🫶🫶
btw i'll be attending the khr cupsleeve event tomorrow, so im super excited for it. im currently staying at a place i booked near the venue tbh i didn't bring my laptop with me since i won't be able to just chill if i did 🤣🤣🤣 i'll try to post pics when i can? there will be a lifesize tsuna standee there, so i hope i'll be in the right headspace to take pics with it 😆😆😆
i was also gonna go online earlier today ngl but the anti-motion sickness med side effects knocked me out into a 6-hour nap once i finished eating dinner (after arriving) lmaooo firstly will be catching up on my notifs leisurely for now. just woke up, but i plan on sleeping again in a few hrs for even more rest time (iirc the afternoon session is full so a lot of ppl will attend, im happy abt it but im gonna be so socially drained 🤣🤣)
#eintxt#i miss just yapping and yapping in textposts/tags#LETS GOOOOOOO#wait i haven't checked twt in a while i need to check there too to rt my contributions 😭😭😭 sorry event mods dkdhskhskshs#tumblr is my main now#not kidding abt sleeping again after napping i alr drank sleeping supplements 😴😴😴#i feel so restless without my laptop and drawing tablet#i can draw on my phone but still#(for all the anti-grind culture shit i say my brain is still kinda wired to that)#(forcing chill culture on myself so i can just relax for once)#(if i don't then burnout will be inevitable)#ok first on my agenda are my dms and my notifs then i'll browse the oc tag right after 🧐🧐🧐
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Chapter 21
<prev -start- next>
Slight cw for blood
Fox's B plot part 1
#fnafhs#:*3#deuz fnafhs#fox fnafhs#oxy fnafhs#cw blood#i wanted to try out something for the story. since my brain is somehow wired to think histories in a sitcom way#w an A and B plot that will ~eventually~ converge into something#i just wanted to try out new stuff too idk. w the backgrounds n fights n stuff. get out of my comfort zone y'know#do i like the results?? ehh. like 70%#but i feel kinda proud of it. its weird#oops tags went on for too long. ok bye
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I wanna thank my irl friends who follow me here and also my beloved mutuals as well as followers who still send me kind messages and try to interact with me and my stuff even if I'm bad at doing it myself.
Honestly, things haven't been that great with me lately, so... it means a lot to me. Honestly. <3
#personal#i had to make the tough decision to drop out of school last week#i didn't exactly want it if i'm being completely honest here#but certain stuff was preventing me from getting further so i knew the teachers are gonna ask me to quit over at our teams meeting#i instantly contacted my nurse about my situation. and she got me a doctor's appointment which was yesterday#where i kind of broke down a little. not because she didn't grant me the sick leave i thought i was going to get#after feeling down and sleeping terribly for weeks#but because she actually *got me*. like. she actually listened to me and figured out some stuff and told me that#what i'm going through and what i've been going through for years would make anyone depressed#so i couldn't help but cry a little because yeah. i'm so tired of never being enough no matter how hard i try#because my brain's wired a certain way and it makes me slow and kinda clumsy and inattentive at times#which. you might guess is not ideal at today's work environment. or studying-wise even#so instead of granting me sick leave (she did say we can change that at anytime though) she told me to wait for that phone call#from the unemployment office. which i should be getting tomorrow. or well. later today#and talk to them about this. to see if they can offer some solutions. or if we can figure something out#'cause i'm getting closer to my 40s and not getting anywhere and it's wearing me out and tiring me out#because i clearly can't help myself or change my ways on my own#i managed to get some work last week though. at the local youth house. one shift though but money still#but i haven't been getting those offers a lot during the past few months so it's not enough to support me obviously#so i definitely need something else. and i hope i can get help. that someone could help me#i should finally get tested for adhd next month too. i don't know if i even have it or if it's gonna change anything but#at least i'd know#anyway i needed to get this off my chest. cause i'm kinda crying a little bit even now just thinking about this whole thing#sorry
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ok the thing which fucked me up the most with mouthwashing is anya and how giving curly his painkillers triggers her so much. because of my extremely personal issue problems.
#this will sound insane but. it made me think of my grandma.#i have really intense issues with infantilization because of some weird wires that got crossed in my brain when i was little#yaknow. when you're a kid and you don't know what sexuality is and why certain things feel good.#of course this has not effected my psyche in any way! (sarcasm.)#seeing someone i love and always took as a granted fact of my existence slowly losing her autonomy due to dementia and regressing#i can't fucking stand it when my parents make infantilizing jokes at her expense. everything is just a normal fact of life of course#you'll lose control of your bladder. your eating habits will become strange. you'll lose what little filter you had#and of course everything will feel like an imposition if you can't remember agreeing to something#but still. i know it's something which shouldn't upset me. frankly it's maybe kinda ableist.#but those crossed wires in my brain makes certain things feel like an attack. both on her and on me by proxy#sorry i'm insane. wow i wonder why i developed the problems i'm having now! the seeds were never there (sarcasm again).
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Hiya! I hope you're doing well today! I love your characters and how you've structered their bios! Since Chuusday is listed first, is she technically your official WOL or is it someone else? Do you canonically have a WOL in the first place?
Also, I find it SO sweet that you and one of your partners both play FFXIV and have characters paired together ;w; Did you meet ingame or long before either of you started playing? Either way I wish you both the best!!! <3 - gardenofballads 🌻
Awaaaah! Im doing pretty ok!!! Taking time to answer this as a wind down from Emerald Weapon Ex Brain Soupage. And I’m so glad! ;W; I think I butchered one of those “Get To Know An OC” thingies- uhh… oh [this one] actually! I chopped a lot out and I think added a couple different thingums instead because there was so much to that that it felt overwhelming to try to look at let alone fill out LOL but it was a really good jumping off point uvu;
And!!! Hilariously Chuu was my First XIV Character, so she’s dear to my heart for being the first one- but she very quickly made it known being the WOL even as an AU was something of a Joke (Her character showed great reluctance and even frustration at having to do So Much World Saving, maybe a side-effect of me rushing through MSQ to catch up with my other spouse [Who plays Talia, though they’ve got less time for XIV these days ;0;] and the rest of my friends who were all EndGame already at the time in Shadowbringers fhdjfjsjfs.) So I made…… many alts. Throwing spaghetti at the wall but I have SEVERE side-character/NPC brain and kept making “supporting cast” types =w=; it actually took me like. 3? Alts before making an ACTUAL WoL with my husband (Ishi’li and Kizuna) (as of Right Meow, they’re in post ARR, but we’ve been working on Keathan and Tuesday together because Keathan was… Keathan’s first character in xiv XD so we’ve been jaunting through the story together and experiencing every inch of it so we can pick and choose what The Boys™ get up to when we wanna focus on them x3)
🥰 I knew both speece during at least high school- but I actually knew Keathan as early as Elementary school hehe 😌 tho the speece didn’t proper marry until… i’unno, 2017? (For frustrating legal reasons, I’m not legally married, but. As it goes. Someday we’ll have money to visit the one state that has legal poly marriages. Also I struggle to remember our wedding year 🫢)
Since managing to make a Co-WoL with my husband I’ve managed to make one other Alt meant to be a Solo-WoL (Mochiie) but I have to really wrinkle my brain to sink time into playing him, since I’m trying to take screenshots throughout the story at what I find to be inspiring beats xD And even still he has an alt-universe where he’s just a side-character for the ‘Main Timeline’ (where there’s a bunch of spaghetti and like 8+ confirmed WoL’s and the Msq entourage looks HILARIOUS in canon, someday I’ll get all the data together and take pictures, but I think it’ll cook what’s left of my brain x’3) [it’s less concrete than anything I’ve posted about before or I’d try to explain it ;v;’ it’s just interesting mostly to see how the story gets stretched to fit around a larger community of heroes than a solo guy shouldering the whole burden lmfao.]
🌸🌸🌸…. I also hope you’re having a lovely week @gardenofballads !!!! I am tossing flower petals into the air around you !!! Thank you for the ask and well wishes n kind words 🥺💖 🌸🌸🌸
#ask game#day-2-day#I have serious Alt Disease as well which doesn’t help much XD#tho I try to justify it by making them a variety of races/genders/classes so I’m not just making 15 similar guys in different color palettes#like some kinda smash game…. LMFAO.#it helps some tho cos they get to flesh out and add meat color and history to The Boys+Co’s adventures/histories/stories uvu like Lev….)#Solkmyna and Swydghem who are true NPC alts of mine are even slotted into post ShB…#🫢 but they’re mostly just fun for me to occasionally chew on like a squeaky toy#tangy is schroedingers WoL. both is and Isn’t. could be The WoL if the au called for it but also works perfectly as just a Scion instead#…. wordy tags… my bad… ANYWAYS FR HOPE YOUR DAY/NIGHT IS NICE AND PLEASANT#I gotta stare blankly at the ceiling now while trying to retain mechanics but not pressed against the display glass of my brain#🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💖‼️#spawn speece#also yes there is something deeply strange wired in my brain where I link to sources but not super consistently like some kinda bad wiki pag#if I had stuff for Keathan + Kizuna to link to tbh I’d link to it here too LOL.#when I get ahold of Talia and Setsuna I’ll probably make little reference posts- not really Bio’s cos they’re not my blorbs#they’re my partners blorbs; but it might be handy to have a frame of reference to point at beyond vague name dropping#actually I love linking to names because my memory is just so piss poor. why not just make it easier for everyone else also#I know I have 185756328 OC’s xbdnfjdnfsnfjs so.#I have to do this for one of my friends uvu; bad memory havers rise up
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Ngl that image I saw pre last ghost ritual. That one where copia is..well dead and that looked so real.
It kinda haunts me.
#Ghost band#ghost the band#Ghost#ghost copia#papa copia#Papa emeritus iv#Like#I see it behind my eye and it kinda#Unnerved me#It's just a picture but#It wired itself into my brain
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Star Trek AU thoughts percolating.....thinking about Tenma in next generation and how he would feel about the Borg. On the one hand: this is the next stage of evolution to him. Bio-machine entities that evolve by assimilating new species into their collective consciousness? Forever improving? He would be obsessed
But on the other hand: collective consciousness. I do not think he would be willing to sacrifice his individual self even if it meant becoming a "higher being"
#one day I will stop taking characters I like and shoving them into star trek but astro boy is just too compatible...#hopeful vibe robot stuff and star trek jsut kinda go hand in hand and my brain is wired to make every possible version of AUs oops#Tenma being a fucked up guy who on purpose gets himself assimilated by the borg (and ochan has to get his ass back) is rly good conceptuall#exploring the nature of self...what it means to no longer be an individual & the sacrifice of personhood in pursuit of evolution...crunchy#still need 2 draw atom with Data playing sherlock holmes together. cries. theyd be pals.
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pro tip! you don't actually need to self harm, spending one week away from a butch who has claws and nothing but malice behind their eyes will actually yield the exact same results :)
#dogbone#asexual kink#fear kink#masochism#you ever watch someone's brain shut off while theyre in dom space#new kinda fear#holy shit#that was a fun fun night#but now my arms burn like hell#at one point#during aftercare#they were like#oh what's underneath my fingernails?#it was my skin and blood#yippee#my arms look like i lost a fight to barbed wire#yeowch#no because#i just came out of quarantine#so im super duper touch starved too#and now i will not get to cuddlemaxx#:(#the consequences of my own actions
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busy trying not to let panicking depresso espresso brain take over my life rn
#im not functionally in trouble for anything kinda#but i left my wired headphones in and visible yesterday by accident and it kiiinda got us a safety bulletin this morning#about how theyre like ... blanket banned from this site ...... even though were in a fucking field all day and its dull as hell#but that aside like the site leader im with takes the 'i dont give a fuck but dont get me in trouble' stance#and in fairness i wasnt the only one mine were just more obvious lol#but i also KNOW he's one of a select group of petty gossipmongerers#the guy is usually pretty cordial and was nice for the rest of the day#like functionally i still did my job and went beyond by forwarding missing information after work#so whoever has to finish my paperwork can do it easily without manually flipping through everything#it was an accident ;____; i just had noise in because my brain was being a dick this week#'i dont care if people like me' i say .. sniffling ...#the only reason this is a problem is because our primary contractor sucks lmao#theyve got profession & site wide rules and this one is because yes its dangerous to work in close proximity with plant with headphones#are we anywhere near plant ??? no. is everyone single earbudding this just in case of an emergency???? yes.#do we spend all day in a field alone a lot of the time in miserable ass conditions ??? yes!!#are we that dumper driver who drove OVER someones truck because they were blasting metal into their skulls??? NO.#and aside aside from that he did say to one of the guys he likes most 'if they cant then you cant' and made him take his out#so like ... i think im fine im just kfjskfj#anyway im fine im just embarrassed and stressed#rory's ramblings
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Ok stupid question but I had to ask BC I love the way you answer things haha 💓💓 (Sorry if that was worded weirdly)
So Jonesy (I think that's the dog's name in House of Wax) from all the Sinclair brothers who do you Jonesy likes the most and who do you think likes Jonesy the best?
it's not weird at all!! now that my HOW brainworms are back, any excuse to ramble incoherently about this dumbass movie and the characters is like. PURE gold. lmao 💀
okay, so imo, vinny is definitely the favorite. the first place where we see jonesy in the movie is in the wax museum and that is def not a coincidence!! they were hanging out!! jonesy just got bored of watching her dad labor over the fine details of the wax titty & wandered upstairs.
they're best friends!! I just know it!! that shot where vincent's turning wade to wax? and jonesy jumps up on the bed? the CUTEST. rip wade 🙏 but?? I adore that sm.
and he takes the puppy w/him when he goes to murder blake & paige. unhinged dog dad behavior if I've ever seen it. I can 100% see them both quietly coexisting in the same space together for hours on end—vincent sculpting and sketching, jonesy napping next to him. padding upstairs in the middle of the night to have a midnight snack. UGH
I v much also subscribe to the line of thinking that lester doesn't live in corpsetown & has a lil shack of his own in the woods. but he absolutely hustles up to the house routinely to bring jonesy weird roadkill snacks and play w/her in the backyard. if anyone in the family is committed to getting her energy out, it's v much him. they're just outside for hours n hours tossing a mangled deer leg around and kicking up dirt. I feel.
as for bo. well. he v much strikes me as the kind of guy who pretends to be fairly ambivalent about the fact they have a dog running around. if jonesy ever stirs up trouble or chews thru smthn, he's the first one to be like, "UH??? it's your fuckin' dog?? I ain't never ask for this??"
v much onery dad energy. he catches vincent giving jonesy some food off his plate and immediately starts talking about how he's spoiling the damn dog and THIS is why she knocked over the garbage can & got coffee grounds and eggshells all over the kitchen floor.
never mind that he's always giving her scraps of whatever random concoction he's eating. she's chowing down on eggo waffles and beef jerky and hostess snacks whenever he's around. but no, it's vincent who spoils her. sure, jan.
he wants a huntin and fishin dog, but he's not much of a hunter or a fisher. so he gets a couch potato that sits next to him while he drinks beer and rewatches old spaghetti westerns. and he totally doesn't care about it or like her. totally.
#I'd love to find out the true origin of the name jonesy tbh. it's fanon. and I know it's a ref to alien.#but like? whomst started using it first? bc everyone has adopted it @ this point#obsessed how this one headcanon took over the whole community omg#that's def a claim to fame lmao#it's cute!! love that our girl has birthed so many cute fan theories#even tho I think? the puppy in the film is also a boy? don't quote me on that but. I THINK#and even tho I'm v in love w/these boys having a female dog. the idea of the pup bein a boy and this whole dumb town just bein Boy Central?#kinda love that idea lmao#@ this point calling the dog anything else in a fic would feel like cognitive dissonance from the fanon. bc it's so v widespread#EDIT: I literally just googled it and found the source! @slash-em-up#and it's not an alien ref actually. she's named after jocelyn jones from tourist trap. v interesting#sinclair brainrot hours#asks#anonymous#long post#when I first got into this fandom I thought about mixing it up in a fic & naming the puppy smthn else.#I almost never mention her in fics bc it bugged me that we didn't have a canon name lmao 😭 bc my brain is wired strangely ig fhsjsgshsgsg#but I love knowing the fanon lore. v nice v cool v tasty
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do ppl still read/write daemon aus. asking for a friend
#t minus 3ish weeks until im out of personal deadline hell and can write for fun again#and the idea of nix with an osprey daemon is just kinda bouncing around my brain like a screensaver rn#also as the number one minor technicalities lover i got really excited thinking abt how wwii draft classifications wld account for daemons#mentally reformatting the wwii draft card to include space for daemon stats#tired: rejected by navy for poor eyesight. wired: rejected by navy for horse daemon too big for boat
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The thing about my brain constantly narrating my actions and my creative processes and that sometimes I'll just think something completely out of left field and I just gotta sit with that
#sorry sorry drawing something and I was think about how I would feasibly structure parts in a robot body#and Idrk why and where I got this from but I always think the hardrive should be a center piece#like I always describe hardrives as the heart and brain of a computer so I place it. where the heart would be#but I don't really think about how it would be protected it's just kinda. There amount the wires#and like. idk I've had a few too many thoughts about someone holding my heart and like. there's something about it man#like the amount of trust you'd have to put into a person to do that. Completely unfeasible fantasy yeah#But I think I'm making that feasible with the way I think about robot internals because there isn't like. an equivalent of a ribcage#so like ough....that type of thing is feasible to do to them#sorry sorry#I think this is gonna change people's opinions on me maybe now that I've in-tag mentioned that I think about people holding my heart yeag#I think it'd be pretty epic if it was feasible yeag#Android.txt
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Casually scrolling on tiktok and came across one of those "this found you because this is what your thoughts sound like" and
We all know what word IMMEDIATELY popped out lol BUT. I read it all and it was very sweet. The text shares a beautiful message. I then went to the comments.
More kindness, more bless yous.
Just another reason to love blessings.
#not kink kinda kink?#just thought it was sweet#we and vanillas think some of the same things huh#it's crazy how this kink makes the simplest of things so deep and complex in our minds 😅#love that my brain is wired this way though#different and lovely perspectives#a little kindness for your timelines
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I only know some vague things about genloss but some of my mutuals are losing their minds and it's very entertaining. I hope you're all having fun heheheh
#this is funny to me considering i have genloss music on my sif playlist#AND i have an old oc thats heavily inspired by it...and yet ive never watched it lmao#i mean i Kinda did from someone showing me but i didnt pay attention at all cause it was the 3rd episode and i had no idea what was going o#cool concepts tho!! makes my brain itchy in a good way i love fucked up wire guys#busy.🐝
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