#my brain will only take in visual media

[filet-o-feelings]

Me: I want to write, but I have no ideas

The 20+ wips and prompts in my docs: 🙄

[dreamerwriternstargazer]

Speedrunning art history course content is giving me A-level flashbacks

[anemoiashifts]

stuff that makes my shifting attempts better.

🤍 : note: my “better” may look different from your better ! a lot of these (most of these) aren’t shifting related but help me nonetheless.

i don’t try & shift a lot to not add pressure onto myself. im fortunate enough to be happy with my life & sometimes i don’t want to shift. i like being here & that’s something not everyone can always say.

✦ cleaning — it helps me feel physically “lighter” & helps me focus. this means my physical space & my body. so showering, putting away laundry, wiping down spaces.

✦ weighted blankets — while not shifting related, they’re really nice to have if you struggle to fall asleep. they also help with stress & anxiety :)

✦ bluetooth sleep mask — if you listen to subliminals or methods of some sort of noise, like i do, when attempting to shift its just good to have so wires don’t get in the way. especially helpful if you regularly listen to the gateway tapes.

✦ setting aside time to shift — doing this rather then trying to shift randomly gives me something to look forward to. it also takes pressure off of myself & prevent burn out. i typically try & shift once or twice a month but have gone a few months without trying to shift.

✦ relating shifting to a scent — your brain tends to associate memories / experiences with scents. because of this, everytime i try to shift, i spray a different perfume that ive associated with each of my dr’s. each perfume is only ever used when trying to shift to that specific dr. i use those little sample / travel perfumes.

✦ stopping methods — i don’t personally find shifting methods useful for me. if i wasn’t feeling a method or if something wasn’t working for me, i just stopped doing it. for meditations / visualization guides, yes. i stick to pink, brown or white noise typically.

✦ subliminals — frequencies are useful for me — specifically subliminal frequencies that i made myself. i dont mean the “youtube subliminal” with sped up affirmations over a song but text converted to frequency. i dont usually try & shift with them but rather listen throughout the day.

✦ cutting out certain music / media — there are so so so many things being told to you everyday even if you don’t realize it. please remember to monitor what you consume & how what you’re seeing or hearing makes you feel. i don’t watch a ton of tv but rather youtube & play video games. being attentive to how things make you feel can definitely play a part in how you see yourself & this plays a part in your confidence. when confident, you are more sure of your performance ability. this can definitely play a part in when we’re trying to shift or manifest.

[astro-cattus]

Flatland (The book) is pretty good!

I read Flatland not too long ago, I´m afraid to admit that I saw the 2007 adaptation before I read the book fully. I didn´t change the fact that the movie was a hot mess to me.

At first I chalked it up to be just an indie movie from almost two decades ago, of course the script would be messy and the visuals jarring. But the moment I gave myself the time to read the book in it´s entirety, I realized how bad Ladd missed what the book was aiming to teach, and make fun of. Bigots like him :^/

Not only that, but something that irks me so fucking bad is the whole Chromatists ark in the movie; not only is it extremelly inaccurate to the book. This being A.Square´s retelling of a historical event that happened so long ago, we can´t really take A.Square´s word for it, as it was probably altered to make the Chromatists as "irrational liberals" and the Circular Priests as "the voice of reason".

Bringing this very much innacurate retelling to the present day of Flatland feels to me, like a very poorly made strawman.

I need to mention too, the leader of the Chromatists, an irregular shape. Which could´ve been an interesting approach to the differences between both kindoms. But,, the way he´s characterized really hits me the wrong way, feels extremelly ableist. And just serves to further the point that Ladd Ehlinger didn´t comprenhend the message the book was trying to comunicate.

Or he did, afterall, the Chromatist movement was a in-book version of a human rights movement, as it seeked women´s and irregular liberation and individuality.

To be honest, It could be interesting to explore a Chromatist resurgence in Flatland, the book has plenty of worldbuilding and potencial to have new stories written about it. (I´m yet to hear of a good adaptation though, If you have any good adaptations around this world, I would love to read it!). But not by people like Ladd.

Another thing I would like to mention is how much Ladd butchered A.Sphere´s personality in this movie. I hope I´m not the only one who has this sentiment. A.Sphere is supposed to be humble, he scoffs at the idea of somehow being a supperior, perfect being. He´s also empathetic and patient, things A.Square mentions he associate´s with women, and therefore inferior. Something that is supposed to challenge his view, as he has this notion that A.Sphere is a godly entity.

I believe this was a counsious desition; by scrumbing this character of this personality, now he doesn´t have to challenge A.Square´s (and by proxy Ladd himself) bigoted views.

I can still understand people might´ve grown attached to the character, I trust you have two brains and understand the core message of Flatland regardless.

This just goes to show media literacy is a very crutial skill, specially as an adult.

Anyways, have this quick thingy before I run to my Uni because just now I realized I ranted too much and now I´m late lol

[3447]

thinking some thoughts about the parasitic nature of the shadows, literally and metaphorically. or, what exactly lies behind the ancient gateway OR beneath the constant.

how I see it is that the world is based on 3 important layers. the first and lowest is where shadows reign: which I'd imagine would look like earth's core. second layer, the constant (it's surface and caves, just its "earth" as a whole) being a shell around that said core. the 3rd layer being the moon/alter.

the moon worked as an empty shell around alter: whether the moon was solely made to protect it's identity or hide it I cannot say. & the constant is the shell around the no-name shadow eye thing.

a horribly done sketch to visualize what I'm trying to spew here

point one : looking at nightmare fissures, they always have a faint (or bright, it depends.) red light coming out of it: it matches with the eye's color scheme.

point two : when the ancients tried to make a connection, their entire civilization was destroyed. turned to nothing but dust. which I reckon was caused by an earthquake. bringing everything down with itself(similar to activating the ancient gateway, causing the whole plane to shake): something along the lines of actual earthquakes caused by inner movements of earth itself.

point two and a half : whatever the gateway may be for, i think its awakening the inner beast within the constant rather than connecting dimensions. or at the very least, using it causes that. it may be a literal portal to otherworldly dimensions, but also an alarm clock for the shadow eldritch being.

point three: a bit of a nonsense, notice how the ancients had to move to the underground/caves to connect better with them. moving away from the surface also comes with moving away from the moon which lessened/weakened their connection to lunar stuff and strengthened their connection to the shadows and the rest of their discoveries of dark arts and magic.

point three and a half: if we take the old map as a reference, the ruins were even further away from the surface as you had to take another sinkhole to venture deeper into the depths. or if we take adventure mode as a reference, the Throne Room could be one of if not THE lowest layer of the constant, which explains why the Nightmare Throne as a whole beckons so much power or possesses such.

about the parasitic nature of the shadows:

we have literal parasites. what else you want me to add. its righ th

Parasitic Shadeling also known as Shadow Leech also known as Fused Shadeling & Dread Mites are creatures found in the caves, 2 of which only spawn after opening the rifts. the other is seen leeching off the Nightmare Werepig before his bossfight. Leeches and Mites are two of the most well known parasites. and its interesting how these two come with open rifts.

looking at the ancient murals and their history, its shown that they had to leave their old bodies behind/shed their skins. BUT its also possible that the images are of the parasites entering their bodies/peeking around maybe. though if we take that as a matter of fact, the shadow parasites seen there have a longer body whereas the shadelings are an not.

the image always reminded me of parasitic worms. something worth mentioning is that parasites often target insects and or are found present in their bodies/guts.

the ancients or so how they were depicted are eerily insect/bug looking. even IF they were another type of creature, it would not change the statement. but the insect and parasite parallels is the simplified form of storytelling.

now, i'm not a parasite expert and i'm not trying to be one here. but from what i know or have seen plus my knowledge of other medias: parasites often or always search for a host as they are in need of one to exist and grow.

again, not an expert, but i also like to imagine in this case they work alike illithid tadpoles (? Neothelids). connected to a hivemind/elder brain, changing the form of whoever they take full control of to an entirely different being and killing what was once a living soul. the memories of the host is ever present even if their bodies has changed.

but the mind/soul is not there. a soulless husk taken ower by an otherworldly creature. the illithid can even use the voice/memories of their host as a manipulative tactic which is an unapologetic ruthless act.

funny how we know nothing of the nightmare or shadow creatures. not knowing their names and disrespecting their entire being by referring to them as mere creatures. and its almost impossible to get any of that back, the history is long gone and forgotten.

on the illithid tadpole rant, to me thats the case for Charlie and Metheus. and part of unexplained "manipulative tactic" is presented in ENCORE animated short: Charlie constantly chastising Maxwell but also taunting him by just mimicking Charlie and promising a false sensation of hope or a deal. if it was any other person, i am 58% sure Maxwell would not have accepted the Encore. but by taking advantage of his guilt/feeling he was easily lured into a trap of who knows what.

Nonsensical rant:

point one: another note about Metheus, i like to think they were terrified of the idea of being erased off of history or living and dying without a host thats why they chose a body/charlie.

point one a half: if Metethus wrote the codex and it 'somehow' got to another world, i would like to imagine it's a situation of writing down your life/history/knowledge so it doesn't completely erase who you were or something like that. so you are not forgotten. so others can read and remember you by it. and dropping it off to another world to lure people to the constant is a act of desperation.

point two : the part with "being creased off of history" is a hint towards the William Carter puzzles: in some pictures the name and face of William is destroyed/scratched over.

point two first quarter : to me that's the parasite or parasites trying to destroy William. and in that case, its a lot easier to target someone who was most certainly dealing with identity/personality crisis. as that person would be more accepting and comfortable with the idea of change and what not

point two second quarter : "Maxwell" is the result of the parasitism. took over someone's body, mind, heart and even memories. they may recall things of the past. entirely possible that Maxwell is post product of this issue rather than the parasite feeding off William's memories, but i like to believe both.

point two third quarter : anatomical changes of the body is seen in present day Maxwell, whether its Throne's fault or the inner parasite taking over as time goes by. as if the parasite is not trying to adapt to human nature but to change it and make it fit its true nature.

point two fourth quarter: Maxwell's voice in "Monster" form becomes rather unhinged for sure, but its inhumane too. and it almost sounds like many things trying to make one speak. for whatever reasons, the parasites or parasite is failing to mimic a human and its turning into something else. maybe the parasitic being itself

maybe, maybe the shadow eldritch being is not hidden beneath all the layers of constant. maybe its trying to be summoned and fit there. maybe it's an egg and eggshell situation. and as the time comes they'd eat the constant. leech on it. empty it and wear it's flesh .just like a par

ok im shutting up

ETA: some other points I forgot to bring up / minor edits.

[odd-im-o]

How to Create an Imaginary

*this guide has been created based on my own experiences and what has worked for me. it is purely a recommendation and should by no means be treated as the final say on imagimancy

*the items within this post have no set order. do whichever points you want, however you want, whenever you want and only IF you want!

*enjoy :D

There's many reasons someone may want to summon an imaginary. Maybe you had one as a child and miss them. Maybe you never quite figured out how to make one in the first place. Maybe the idea of having sentient thoughtforms and willos is a big commitment you're not ready to take yet.

Whatever the reason, I wanted to compile a guide of sorts outlining how to create your own!

What is an Imaginary?

An imaginary is a non- or partially-sentient being drawn from someone's imagination. This could be a fictional character, pet, companion, or anything else! These friends are typically constructed in ones mind and projected out into the real world. It's like a para outside of the paracosm, or an oc specifically designed to interact with you, the creator.

This guide will outline tips to create and maintain your own imaginary.

Choose a Type

Before you can summon an imaginary, you need to know what role your imaginary will play. Are they meant to be a pet, friend, caregiver, lover, or something else entirely? Are they human? Mythical? Something else? Will they be brain-made? Or maybe they're drawn from pre-existing media?

The limits are your own imagination. Choose what fits your own interests and needs.

Draw Inspiration

Your new imaginary may be born from your mind, but it's helpful to draw inspiration from other places. Maybe there's a character you want them to resemble, or a personality you find fitting with your own. Maybe you have an idea for an aesthetic or style your imaginary will take on.

Gather those inspirations and use them moving forward! Maybe make a folder in your phone filled with interesting images, write down what tickles your fancy, or make an collage online. Whatever the method, have fun with this step! It will help flesh out your imaginary.

Visualization

Once you've gathered ideas for your imaginary, it's time to start visualizing. This is, personally, the most difficult part. Your companion, afterall, doesn't actually exist quite yet. It's through your own mind that they will manifest, and that takes a bit of time and effort on your part.

One method of visualization is art. Draw what you want your imaginary to look like, or use picrews or other online-makers to create them. Make them a few times over, see what fits and what feels right, and eventually you should settle on something that's correct.

Another method is picturing. Turn on some music or ASMR you want to associate with your imaginary, close your eyes, and see what appears. Write down anything notable or simply observe. See what comes to mind.

Regardless of your method, at the end you should be able to picture the key traits of your imaginary. Don't worry if these traits change later on. Your imaginary is a being, afterall, and is subject to change. Just settle on what feels right and give your imaginary room to grow as they get settled.

Characterization

As you start to visualize your imaginary, their personality should start to shine through as well.

Observe your imaginary and see what personality traits begin to arise. How do they act? How do they speak? How do they interact with you? Interact with others?

Alternatively, make these choices for yourself! Do you want your imaginary to be friendly? Aggressive? Assertive? Are they an ally to you or a needed opposition?

Also take the time to flesh out your relationship with your imaginary. What role do they play in your life? How do they add to or subtract from your world? How do you two interact?

Once again, these answers may change as your imaginary grows, but begin to take notes of some key factors you notice or want within your imaginary.

Interaction

This is the fun one. While it is completely valid to not interact with your imaginaries, I personally find that interaction is what sets an imaginary apart from OCs or fictional character daydreaming.

That being said, your imaginaries aren't sentient and are somewhat controlled by you. Here's some tips for interacting with your imaginaries and helping to build a relationship between the two of you.

Schedule Interaction Time

I, personally, spend time with my imaginary every morning while I do my daily routine. It provides set-aside time for us to bond and helps to make sure I don't forget he exists.

Choosing a time to interact with your imaginary can really help to build a relationship and make sure they consistently appear. Maybe you talk with your imaginary during lunchbreaks everyday, or Saturday afternoons are always set aside for the two of you. Try not to let this get in the way of other relationships, though. Those are important. It's simply helpful to know that, say, while you do the dishes everyday, a friend will be sitting there to talk with you.

Choose Points in Space

When interacting with your imaginary, try choosing points in the world around you where they appear. Maybe you have a dragon sitting on your shoulder, or a giant crouched outside your window, or a fairy flying just ahead of you. Even if you can't literally see your companion, imagine where they would be while you interact.

Chat with your Imaginary

Talking with your imaginary is a great form of interaction. I personally will talk out loud and give my imaginary time to respond. Another method is to have a mental conversation between the two of you.

At the start, it may feel a little awkward and forced. You may be choosing what your imaginary says and how they respond. But keep with it. Over time the communication should begin to feel more natural.

Forming Habits

Once the hardest parts are done, your only other job is to form habits. Choose moments when you want your imaginary to appear and regularly summon them then. Get used to interacting with them consistently. Observe the way they change and grow as the two of you get to know each other.

Ultimately, if your imaginary doesn't stick around, don't fret! It's totally okay for them to fade. But with a bit of time and effort, you can have an imaginary that sticks with you for a long time :)

[sillygoblinantics]

“Fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou that’s not how trauma works, Lily Orchard”

This is the last Lily critical thing I am willing to share. For context: this happened during one of Lily orchards korra streams, it was before she would release her video that I would not watch for mental health reasons, but yes this is how her streams are, so much dead air only filled with obnoxiously loud keyboard clacking, snorts, and little to no commentary.

I had been watching, while watching I caught her talking about… trauma and ptsd. I caught her (if for a moment) fully displaying her lack of genuine empathy and knowledge of the aforementioned topics. And then when the show actually has a great point about how to healthily heal and how it isn’t going to be immediate she says:

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. That’s not how trauma works!

As if she would actually know and have studied and actually fucking know what it’s like.

This moment had broke me… if you’ve read my essay about my healing you’d know. This is not a criticism of Lily orchard… this is me showing her true colors. I need you to see how her brain works I want you to understand how it works without getting too close and touching the metaphorical poop of this drama until you get the full vivid picture of her.

Ever since I’ve learned more and more about Lily and have truly seen and heard of the things she’s done I’ve been plagued by what I thought were the traumatic moments I felt I had eloquently unpacked and picked apart… actually reanimate and take new forms that have caused minimal spirals.

And if I’m going through this then imagine what Lily orchards victims and fans have gone and continue to go through. This isn’t about whatever card she’ll use to get away with her behavior this is addressing the actual danger of this woman.

If I ever post her again I’ll be dropping art I did as cathartic release (like the below image):

Lily clearly uses her “trauma” to hurt others. She’s transformed it into a weapon that only damages those she hits with it.

Catharsis is the key to the freeing metamorphosis of your trauma tho it may remain it weighs less as you transform more and more of it in a new way.

That transmutation can be anything, art, animation, music, sculpture and visual or physical media really! Even in writing. It’s why I like creative nonfiction as it’s really just explorative essays. Like this post you’re reading now!

So.

To wrap this up, let’s quote the gifted goose’s own mouth:

“Fuck you, fuck you, Fuck You. That’s not how trauma works, you can tell they never had it”

— Lily Orchard August 2024

[davidtennantgenderenvy]

THE GIGGLE OH MY GODDDD

Was not prepared for the thesis statement of the specials to be “the doctor needs to take a freaking break and also get therapy”

Genuinely such a gripping hour of television I was on the edge of my seat the entire time did not lose my attention for a SECOND

ooh such good creepy moments in this episode too

BAMF DONNA NOBLE!!!

I love Mel in this!!! I obviously haven’t seen classic who but I loved what they did with her here

The social commentary on the reactionary nature of modern social media culture was so well done!!!

Screamed when I heard that little bit of The Shepard’s Boy

Neil Patrick Harris in his doctor who villain era was everything I wanted and more oh my god that Spice Up Your Life scene is going to be living in my brain rent free (the goofy German accent gave me Count Olaf flashbacks tho)

loved the puppet show scene, both visually and narratively

ooh the tease of the master and possibly an even bigger baddie than the toymaker has me INTRIGUED

Oh, David. Such a BEAUTIFUL final performance full of weariness and tragedy and genius and courage and bittersweetness and joy. Truly the swan song his doctor deserved all along.

I’m glad that even though fourteen didn’t ultimately end up having to die we still got to see him accept regeneration without having to die alone or scared, having “allonsy” be what he thought was going to be his last words was BRILLIANT

“I’m the happiest I’ve been in my life” OH TEN!!! OH TEN MY DEAR MY SWEET

cannot say ENOUGH good things about Ncuti Gatwa oh my gosh he is a DELIGHT. He’s going to breathe so much new life into the show we’re in such good hands with him. His physicality his delivery his EYES

also omg the biggest perk of the bigeneration aside from fourteen getting to live was SEEING DAVID AND NCUTI PLAY OFF EACH OTHER they have such good chemistry and oh my gosh that hug healed my SOUL

overall quite possibly entering my top ten or five favorite Doctor who episodes possibly the most cathartic tv experience of my life literally my ONLY gripe was that the defeat of the toymaker felt too easy

[problemduetest4life]

short and chaotic Jean & Shawn oneshot

Once again, I am obsessed with Shawn Anderson in @kevinsdsy 's Trojans social media au. I did another little warm-up write about him. I don't know what else to say. Bon Appetit hehe

~

“Shawn. Thank God.”

Jean stormed across the lobby and grabbed his friend by the wrist as soon as he exited the elevator. His messy hair seemed even scruffier than normal, and his shirt was on backwards. Even being in the presence of Olympians couldn’t get him to straighten up, but that was Shawn after all. At this point, it didn’t matter. Jean was desperate for someone to talk to.

Shawn’s eyes were wide as Jean tugged him towards the door.

“Jean, I—”

“Please, can we go for a walk? I need to cleanse my brain. I cannot...” Jean trailed off as the images flashed in his brain. He let go of Shawn and went out the doors of the hotel, hoping he was following him.

“Listen—” Shawn tried again.

“I have seen things. I have seen things I cannot unsee,” Jean said, throwing a look over his shoulder before scrubbing a hand across his face. “I blame Cat. She sent me to see if Derek had any conditioner left and...”

Jean shuddered.

The scene he had walked on had been disturbing at the very least. Cat had handed him the key card Derek had left behind when he had come to borrow one of their umbrellas and sent him on his mission. Jean swore he had knocked but as the more prominent parts of the memory took over, he couldn’t be entirely sure.

He had taken two steps into the room before he realized what and who he was walking in on. The sounds. The visual. The overall scene. Jean forced himself to pay attention to the store fronts they walked past.

Pastries. Awnings. Cigarette butts. Butts. Nope. Not butts.

“Derek may be pale, but his ass is paler,” Jean blurted out, before clapping a hand over his mouth. Shawn stopped dead in his tracks.

“What?” Shawn exclaimed. “Well, I mean...”

“He must’ve met someone somewhere. I don’t know,” Jean said, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t see who, not really. I just walked in to the get the conditioner and then... Oh, God.”

Shawn had stopped to lean against a brick wall, obviously in some sort of shock. Jean could relate. It was very different seeing nakedness in the locker room versus the bedroom. For the very first time in his life Jean felt the strong urge to drink. He looked back up at Shawn and then it clicked.

“Shawn, I’m sorry. I know you’re with Derrick now, but you had that crush on Derek. I should have been more sensitive. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Upset? No. I’m golden,” Shawn said, removing one hand from his chest to give Jean a thumbs up. “You said you didn’t see who he was with?”

“No,” Jean said. “I can only be sure it was Derek. I just shouted an apology and ran.”

Jean was not particularly proud of the way he handled it, but it was an impossible situation. The only thing worse would be facing Derek the next time he saw him. I’ll just pretend nothing happened, Jean decided.

“Shawn, please say something. You’re always saying something. Why are you being quiet?” Jean asked.

“I’m not being quiet!” Shawn defended. “I just— I also wouldn’t know what to do.”

“Well, I can’t tell anyone!” Jean exclaimed.

“No,” Shawn agreed with a big nod. “No, you cannot.”

“He’s dating anyone, but still...”

“Exactly. And it’s not like the person he was hooking up with is dating someone but was granted permission to hook up with Derek.”

“Right,” Jean said. “Wait, what?”

“Nothing,” Shawn said. “Just...shooting the shit.”

Good, Shawn’s back to normal, Jean thought before setting off again. He finally able to take a full breath. The trip to Paris had unlike any team trip Jean had been on before. The combination of the Trojan’s good-natured antics and the Foxes’ ill-mannered chaos had brutal for anyone in their vicinity or whoever followed them on Twitter. Jean doubted anyone would make it out of media training once they all returned.

“Hey, can we slow down?” Shawn asked from behind him. Jean paused his stride for Shawn to catch up. They stop in front of a café.

“Coffee?” Jean asked, tilting his head towards the patio of tables. Shawn bit his lip. “Unless, you have to get back to something?” It wasn’t like Shawn to refuse anything with sugar involved.

“Yeah, let’s do it,” Shawn said finally, shooting Jean a grin. Then he looked down at his backwards shirt and threw up his hands. “Fuck it. That was totally me with Derek.”

~

[mindfogs]

a brief comparison of compleately different medias that rewired my brain. yes i'm aware the target audience of this post is me only.

It was supposed to be a joke but I can’t do anything casually so a more vaguely detailed analysis under the cut.

spoilers for all three obviously but vague spoilers about themes and not plot points. i could have gone more in the specifics but it's late and i don't want to fall in this rabbit hole right now i need sleep.

If you strip these stories of all the cool visuals and funny jokes, if you take away their narratives with the world about to end, you're left with pure, naked, vulnerable love that is such a core essence of any of these characters. Love is what can destroy or save the world. Love is what drives the heroes forward. Love is what keeps them from dying.

I think all three stories are about being loved and accepted for who you are. Even if you've changed and you don't like yourself, even if you've stayed the same and you don't like yourself.

They're about tearing yourself apart, throw up, slashing yourself open in front of the one you love. Let them see everything, the bad and the gross and asking "do you still love me?".

They're about enduring, sacrificing yourself, everything, sacrificing the world, God, the entire universe for the one you love.

They're about trusting to choose each other over and over again, everytime, in every universe, even if the next time you see me I may not be what you remembered. Even if you don't recognize me.

They're about eating, gnawing, cannibalizing each other over and over and over in a mutual exchange of obsession.

They're about carving your own peace when you don't even know what peace it's supposed to be like

They're about grief and loss and learning to be whole again.

They're about submitting oneself to the horrifying oredeal of being known in order to allowing the reward of being loved.

It's about "it's rotten work" and answering everytime without esitation "not to me, not if it's you"

[pseud0knots]

this is such a stupid ass post like I don’t have a problem with the original post but the reblogs are so clearly a case of a person thinking the way they conceptualize and interpret scenes while writing and reading respectively is soooooooo superior over those of us with cringe lowbrow unsophisticated television-brained highly visual imagination. I do feel like the original advice re: paragraph breaks was written by someone with a highly visual imagination without realizing how specific that advice is to certain kinds of brains so I can see how op might babe this reaction if theyre eager to look down on people who interpret things more visually as if certain ways of reading and writing are more pure and true than others

and like. as someone who writes as if describing a play or movie or whatever in my brain I don’t think there’s actually any kind of correlation between paragraph length and whether or not you imagine a camera in the scenes you are writing. if I’m writing something and I end up with a 500 word paragraph, thats usually still a single “shot” in my visual imagination even though the amount of time it takes to read the paragraph is more than the amount of time that “shot” would last for if it were a scene in a movie. or if it’s something that couldn’t be shown on a screen like a passage that explores a characters interiority, even though there’s no direct visual component I still think about scenes this way only now the “camera” is inside the pov characters mind but I guess you wouldn’t get how that works if you don’t have access to my awesome mind palace theater

also the last reblog is particularly annoying given how vastly easier it is to write fiction as an amateur vs getting into making movies or tv like if you’re really mad about this please get me 1 billion dollars and a production company until then I’ll have to continue being a philistine with a highly visual imagination who’s contaminating the noble world of True Literature with my mass media poisoned brain which definitely isn’t just a product of people having inherently different ways of processing and analyzing the intangible

[anemoiashifts]

shifting tips / advice that don’t suck !

♡getting offline.

i know i know it’s hard, but being bombarded with different information about a certain topic can be so overwhelming & create room for overthinking which can effect performance. looking in places outside of shiftok or shiftblur or shift whatever. putting more effort into trying to figure out what something is instead of doing it will drive you insane because there is no answer to what shifting is. hence, “theories” & shared experiences. there is no concrete reasoning to shifting backed by science so don’t try & find them or you’ll be looking forever.

♡music.

did you know you can use music to manipulate memories ? the brain is so so bad at remembering things due to how much information we consume daily. when you visualize & listen to a sound or music, your brain can register that as a memory.

♡smell.

this one also aligns with the one above. smell is heavily tied to memory, also. by watching a show we are shifting to & pairing it with a certain scent like a perfume or candle, we can create a link between the two. then, spraying during shifting attempts can help us visualize & associate that piece of media with where we’re focusing on.

♡shadow work.

find out why you’re shifting. happiness ? you don’t need to shift for that. love ? you don’t need to shift for that. if you want to that’s fine but is shifting a bandaid for something deeper ? discover that. really think & consider where you’re going & if you’re in the right mentality to handle it. you aren’t in a television show episode or an oc, you’ll be a living human being in a very real & interactive world. figure out your intentions.

♡put in effort.

this may be a little obvious but you have to want to shift, to shift. you have to put in work & effort to shift & take another approach if doing the same method 10x over hasn’t worked for you. “we shift every second” sure but you didn’t shift into your desired reality in the past thirty. “im saying an affirmation & rolling over & hoping ill wake up in my dr” & how has that worked out for you ? just because this has maybe worked for other people, doesn’t mean it'll work for you. everyone is different. people require more time & effort to get something right then others just like subjects like art or english come easier to students.

♡perfection.

not everything has to be perfect. script isn’t completed ? so what ? you’ve been saying “im not ready yet” for the five months. don’t put off good things out of fear of them not being exactly how you want it because it will never be perfect because perfection isn’t real. if you don’t have everything figured out — that’s fine. why ? because life will sort itself out. this remains true right here & in your desired life. if it’s any comfort, everything will fall into place.

♡neutrality.

if you’re someone who wakes up after an attempt saying “i’ll never shift, i hate this reality” then you’re kinda sabotaging yourself in a way. your creating the mindset that this is the “bad” place when shifting is “good”. that’s not true. everything is entirely neutral until you define it as such. in addition, you are focusing more on the “haven’t” & giving that more attention to & what you give attention to will only grow until it’s so big you can’t see anything else.

♡listening.

people who want things don’t sit & complain about not having them, they persist & would do anything to get their desires & live in that reality. instead of saying “i didn’t shift” & sulking about it, take it as a learning experience to see what does & doesn’t work for you; your body is showing you what not to do so listen to yourself.

[copperbadge]

Supposedly, people with Anphantasia don't get scared reading scary stories, or at least not much. Is that true with you if you ever read Horror?

You know, I'd never thought about it, but I suppose it is. To an extent, anyway.

Follows a discussion of my relationship to horror prose and media; if you don't know what aphantasia is, as many people coming to this tumblr don't, I have a tag for it here that may help -- it's basically the lack of a "mind's eye", a visual imagination, so I hear/read things and don't see an image of them in my mind. If you are scoffing right now that nobody actually has a mind's eye, congratulations, you may also have aphantasia. The articles linked in the tag will be useful to you.

I have definitely been scared by prose before but it's very rare, and not much since I was a child, when the stories I found scary were preying on fears I already had. I loved the Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark books, and I think it's not unusual that I found the illustrations more frightening than the prose, but the only story that ever scared me was the one about the vampire who kept trying to grab a kid through a window -- because I had a window over my bed in my childhood bedroom and I was terrified I'd look up to see someone looking down at me through it. Likewise, as an adult, the only content in horror I find scary is what I think of as "mind horror" -- the loss of faculty or the loss of awareness of faculty (think the end scene of the novel Hannibal with the brain). Which is one of my biggest fears.

I don't read much horror because generally I get bored, which has in the past made me feel faintly appalled at myself, but which now makes more sense. Certainly I have no interest in slasher-style gore in prose, because I find it uninteresting and it goes on a really long time, while I don't watch it in movies/TV because the visual is upsetting -- so if I was getting the visual from the prose I might react more emotionally. I am a fan of Stephen King but mostly his early work where he was shorter on suspense, and I was reading it because I liked the ideas and the characters. Carrie is super interesting because of the personalities involved, not because of the violence or the horror aspects. But I've never seen a movie adaptation and I can imagine I would be deeply unsettled if not distraught by certain scenes if depicted visually. Although I didn't find the Hannibal TV series super upsetting (I mostly was put off by how bad I imagined Will smelled) so perhaps body horror just doesn't do it for me.

This may also explain my hard-no on zombie media, because I'm not scared at all of zombies, I just find them boring and gross, and that leaves the post-apocalyptic humans. My hard-no on post-apocalypse anything is an aversion to imagining the end of my world, though, which isn't visual, it's conceptual, and not scary, just upsetting.

Like, people kept suggesting Zombies Run! to me when I was taking up running and -- well, one, I needed the music to keep my pace, I didn't want it interrupted. But two, I didn't see why a bunch of random groaning noises would make me run faster. If you could see zombies chasing you in your head, yeah, that'd probably be more motivating.

It kind of explains too why I haven't written much horror. I used to be very curious about how people worked out what's "scary" in horror prose and I guess part of the curiosity came from not experiencing it myself. It's tough to know how to write a scary story when stories don't scare you.

To be clear, I definitely experience fear. Reading Stephen King's "It" didn't really scare me, but there were scary moments in the film adaptations. I startle at jumpscares. There's plenty of stuff in real life that I'm scared of. And even podcasts -- I don't get mental images during podcasts like apparently most people do, but Magnus Archives got me with the "digging into your pre-existing fears" thing once or twice, and while I didn't finish The Left Right Game (I just got bored) the hitchhiker scene definitely got me. But I think, unless it's playing on something conceptual that already existed, yeah, I don't find prose particularly frightening.

Huh. This feels like the kind of thing that could have a significant impact on my creative output if I could crowbar my way into it. Knowing that I as an aphantic don't need descriptions that other people do has already, I think, impacted my editing process, but this feels like it maybe would somehow have an effect on the whole thing -- the fact that I don't experience emotions when reading in the same way other people do because I don't get the visuals is something to meditate on.

How the fuck did I ever even become a writer. Like what's up with that.

(Ironically it was X-Files fanfic. X-Files, a show that very much did scare me, for which I wrote and read a lot of fanfic, none of which did...yikes. Well, that's something to meditate on for the weekend.)

[telomeke]

4 MINUTES – COUNTING DOWN

We're now just shy of the mid-point in 4 Minutes (three eps down with five more to go) and I've been avidly watching, but getting quite confused at the same time by all the twists and turns.

Part of that confusion stems from not being able to watch the "Sultrier" version at first, despite getting Viu Premium. (How do they come up with these euphemisms though? Remembering that KinnPorsche also had a "La Forte" incarnation. 🤣) The sanitized 4 Minutes was annoying, not just because the sexy bits were cut out, but also because we missed important, informative parts of the narrative.

For example, Korn and Ton Kla's Ep.1 sex scene was actually an in-your-face illumination of their relationship dynamics, and also a parallel with Win and Ton Kla's own Ep.3 turn in the sheets later, that revealed so much about their characters in the vein of show-don't-tell.

Ep.2's tryst between Korn and Fasai was also missing, as was (inexplicably) the conversation between Korn and a smoking Great in Ep.1. I can only presume it was Great's cigarettes that caused that scene to be snipped, because other scenes also had alcohol and ciggies all blurred out. Highly annoying, but anyway – I finally found out what was going on with Viu Premium, so if anyone else is having trouble finding Sultrier, I will share some tips in a different post.

And with that out of the way, I finally got to watching the unbutchered 4 Minutes – and I'm finding it smart, sexy and oh-so stylish in the mold that we've come to expect from Be On Cloud. Sumptuous cinematography and visuals are now quite a BoC hallmark, that started with KinnPorsche and continued in Man Suang – and 4 Minutes so far has been a delight to take in, a cinematic and super-twisty supernatural thriller overflowing with signs, symbols and scenes (possibly) pregnant with hidden meaning, so much so that the fandom is all a-flutter, me included.

Directing (and editing) has been taut, and I think Director Ning Bhanbhassa Dhubthien does much better when given free rein (unsaddled by screenwriting duties, and P'Pond maybe! 🤣) My take is colored by Man Suang – its huge potential for intellectual engagement (all that historical drama and political intrigue!) was unfortunately not developed to a satisfying extent; its most potent elements were given insufficient screentime, watering down what could have been a truly juicy experience for the viewer. Perhaps it might have done better as a mini-series with a longer timeframe for the developments to unfold, but that's a remake for another day perhaps.

Anyway, back to 4 Minutes. They've been really stoking the furnace with clues to the truth underlying the narrative, and fan theories abound as to what it all might mean while we breathlessly await revelation.

So I can only guess at some of the stuff, and nod at some of the visuals. But here's some of what I've picked up on.

The title 4 Minutes (especially with so many references in Ep.1 to cardiac arrest) is quite likely a nod at the widespread belief that when the heart stops beating, you only have four minutes to start resuscitation before the process of brain death begins to set in. (I'm seeing a lot of different opinions about this online, with some sources insisting the window of time is much longer. But there are enough mentions of the four-minute deadline in more than a few Thai sources that I think this is probably the intended significance, especially since screenwriter Sammon is also a medical doctor who would know of this notion's currency in popular culture. Here's an example in Thai media: CPR กู้ชีวิต ก่อนสมองตายใน 4 นาที/CPR saves life before brain death in 4 minutes.)

After the four minutes are up, it is too late to save the stricken patient – so there is a sense of urgency underlying the notion. (For another work that plays on this, see Madonna's song 4 Minutes where the urgency being messaged is about saving the planet instead.)

But with cardiac arrest, the premise is that even when corporeal death is signaled (cessation of the heartbeat being the traditional marker of this), a person's life-force still has that small window of time for human intervention to make a difference, a sort of ultimate last chance beyond the final frontier, if you will.

This aligns somewhat with what we're seeing of Great's do-overs, each time he is thrust back four minutes into the past. But I think there's also a bit more to it, based on what we're seeing in Episode 3.

Among all the fan theories online, this one by @myezblog caught my eye: Theory - plot is pretty much revealed.

Now, whenever Great is alone, we see that his clocks reset (and Great is aware of this too, by Ep.3). In Ep.1, his clock showed 11:00am (at timestamp 05:00, after his call with Title). And in Episode 2 we were shown Great's clock turning to 11:01 at timestamp 35:06, and in Episode 3 it went to 11:02 (timestamp 41:37).

But the ominous 11 o'clock actually put in an appearance even before these instances. Looking back, at the start of Episode 1 we were shown that the patient in the Emergency Department Resus bay basically flatlined at 11:00 – that was their time of death.

If it's really Great whose heart stopped on that Resus trolley in Ep.1, what we appear to be seeing is a flashback of events playing in his head, leading up to the time of his cardiac arrest (11:00).

And what his clocks are showing him (and us) whenever he's alone during that flashback is basically a countdown of the four minutes that he has, before he is brought back (hopefully) or is gone forever (I hope not – it wouldn't be much of a series then!).

So in the coming episodes, we should be watching for Great's clocks to tick up to the 11:04 mark – that is likely the time horizon when Great is jolted back to the present, hopefully having learnt some lessons reviewing his past that will be key to solving his conundrums in the present and the future.

[whateverthought]

Okay, when Ashley takes Compound-V we see two things, her wig falls off, -showing her balding head- and her skull seemingly deforming. Now, I have some thoughts

She grows Versatile Hair like Medusa from the Inhumans. This season has put continued emphasis on her Hair-Loss, thanks to Homelander and Vought and for her to gain power and strength from finally fighting back instead of enabling the people who don't care about her and actively wish to kill her, in the form of her hair becoming Big and Powerful and Unkillable, well its a full circle moment isn't it?

She gains Medusa Snake Hair. Similar to #1, it also has the Mythological backing of Medusa being a woman abused by a God only to finally gain power that she uses to protect herself from the men around her.

Now, this was my immediate thought when I saw her skull shifting, but her brain grows and she becomes one of those Big Brain Geniuses from the 80s & 90s. Her not regaining her hair and being perpetually bald, forever changed by her time at Vought, even after she finally does something seemingly against her orders and Vought itself, is definitely a more visually tragic line of thought. She implies earlier, when talking to A-Train for the last time, that she sees herself as a monster and whether or not that extends to all Supes doesn't really matter in this scenario. To be deformed in such a way, especially as a woman and especially one whose whole job is understanding societal views and Social Media, it would be impossible to not take damage to your self-esteem.

Now I understand there's something that happens in the comics, something with fire that everyone was pointing at That dress about, but I have never and will never read the comics and enough has been changed, from what I was told, for me to not care. Please do not bring up the comics in the notes.

[iggyartsblog]

A small vent about marble hornets and creepypasta becoming a recent trend

Tw for description of psychosis, gore description

Read if you wish, if not just enjoy the gifs

Marble hornets is on its 15th year anniversary this year and because of this it's resurfaced and there's a wave of new age fans that enjoy the web show and have delved deeper into creepypasta lore as well as the slenderverse. On a normal person level I have no issues with this. I don't believe In gatekeeping analogue horror from back in my time from today's generation, especially something as good as marble hornets.

My issue is this (Trauma dump incoming) : from the age of 7 I was suffering deep psychosis as a result of using creepypasta and marble hornets as a way of coping with trauma and the stress I was under with neglect and having to look after my sick parent and having no healthy friendship in school. Yes, I was one of those kids who wished with all their hearts that the slenderman would come and take them away and make their problems disappear. The problem was I wanted it too much so my brain just made it happen. I was suffering from really bad derealisation as well as auditory and visual hallucinations of the characters. They would talk and interact with me, just not in the way I wanted them too. I remember so vividly washing up after dinner one night and seeing laughing jack break through the door and stab me in the stomach. I remember watching as my stomach and intestine dropped out of my body as he picked them up and swallowed them by the handful while still managing to maniacally laugh in my face. I screamed until my dad came in and told me jokingly to shut up, clearly not seeing my distress.

These hallucinations impacted my social life too. It was clear to me that there was a handful of them that were not out to get me and wouldn't hurt me if I played along with them. The most normal thing I had to do was just not ignore them. I hallucinated ticci toby a lot, especially in public. I had learned that if I didn't talk back to him he would get agitated and I would have nightmares of the slenderman murdering me so I would always talk back. This made going out with friends difficult because I had to respond to him no matter what. This lead to a lot of bullying from my friends and not many people wanting to talk to me.

For years, until I was 12, I kept slipping through the narrative I was either schizophrenic or actually one of the followers of the slenderman (I used to call myself a proxy, now the word makes me feel physically ill). This belief is probably what made the hallucinations last as long as they did. I wasn't aware at the time how deep in psychosis I was as I refused to talk to my parents about it in detail as my mum used to threaten to take me to a mental hospital as a small child when I used my imagination and said I could see a butterfly, for example, that wasn't really there. My sister knew and so did her friend but I'm sure they both thought it was some game.

So, I'm speaking in the past tense. This is behind me, right? Well, it was for a good few years. I was able to do this via limiting myself all access to anything creepypasta related or marble hornets related which was very hard because it was like my safety blanket for so many years. I tried to not put myself in rooms alone without music or something playing in the background so I can concentrate on that and not give anything the chance to harm me. When I did hallucinate I would take videos to prove to myself nobody was there and in time I was able to ignore them completely and the eventually went away. This took about a year or so of discipline and I think it only worked because it was psychosis and not schizophrenia.

However, the reason I'm talking about this now is it's all come back to me. I'm hallucinating again, I'm being hurt again and I'm unable to sleep properly because of the nightmares that plague me due to it. The reason is very clear to me. Media consumption has caused me to relapse. My girlfriend is obsessed with marble hornets and won't stop showing me stuff about it, which is totally fine because she shows me things she likes out of love. However, when I open Tumblr after it's full of marble hornets and creepypasta. It's the same story for other social media. I'm totally okay with people enjoying the fandom and I'm okay with seeing it from time to time but I do feel so bombarded with it all that's it's triggered me into psychosis yet again. And the way people enjoy this media isn't making me feel any more comfortable online either. You cannot imagine what it's like seeing IRLs of monsters that's harmed you physically and mentally roleplaying and twinkifying the character like the character hasn't killed people or tortured people in their source. I can't stand people simping over Tim from marble hornets after I've repeatedly been assaulted and tormented by a figment of my imagination with the exact same face. Having Jeff the killers bloody and broken face sting like a fresh wound in salt over my eyes when I fall asleep seems like a complete contrast to the hot fuckboy version that people put in their pfps and dirty talk on character ai. I'm not saying you can't be thirsty for a man with no eyelids, my point is it's really strange from my point of view.

Now that you've listened to my rant I just want to make it absolutely clear that if you enjoy marble hornets or creepypasta or the slenderverse you have all the right to keep loving that media. I don't want to put people off or make it seem like I'm trying to gatekeep. I do just want to share a very brief overview of my experience with this media and how it's affected me in hopes it might prevent someone else from going through something similar. This is also a reminder for all horror fans to take a break once in a while to cleanse yourself of all violence and fear for a while and look at some positive media to rest your brain once in a while.

I doubt anyone would be interested in hearing more about my experience with psychosis but if you are ill gladly talk more about it. I'm going to do everything I can to overcome this unwanted sequel and I will over come out weather social media and the people around me let me or not. I've done this before and I'll do it again.