#my brain is also not a good place rn
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pears-trinkets · 2 years ago
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I had such a shit day yesterday 🥲
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b4kuch1n · 11 months ago
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wizard of both ways
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shitouttabuck · 1 year ago
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several sentence sunday
hello! from this post i saw on here yesterday and also the ridiculous would u peel an orange for me tweets
He imagines his heart as a citrus fruit, bright and bursting. This feels like digging a nail into the rind, working your thumb in, peeling it; quick, because this is already a familiar act—so much of loving Buck feels like memory, even the new. Half of what’s inside, the softest, stickiest, most tender parts of Eddie, given to Buck. The way Buck holds and handles with wonder each wedge of it like it’s—maybe not the first he’s ever had, not some Garden of Eden shit with its contorted belief of sin behind wanting and sharing, but like he’s going to savour it for the rest of time, plant the seeds inside that full-of-life place in his own chest. Keep Eddie there, look after this thing they’re giving each other so they can grow: upwards and intertwined and old together. Jesus, has Eddie always been this gross? This kind of giddy-in-love feeling that has every cell in his body vibrating with want and excitement and—joy, isn’t it? Untouchable, unshakeable joy, every time Buck so much as looks at him, never mind the touching and the telling and the loving on. That’s normal at the start of a relationship, Frank had told him. Yes, even an adult one, not a teenage hormone in sight. It’s just—his relationship with Ana hadn’t really had that, even at the start. And his second go-around with Shannon had been fraught with way too much hurt still held onto by them both. Attraction, passion, desire—check, check, and check. But this simple exhilaration, this fucking thrill that runs through him every time he remembers he gets to take Buck’s hand whenever the urge strikes? Every time Buck takes his hand, casual and easy? It’s a rush like no other. But that fades, right? You date for a few months, you live together, you learn, or relearn, every one of the annoying fucking habits the other person has, intimately, and you love them, so much, but the giddiness fades, right? But they’re coming onto a year, and there’s a ring stuffed into the bottom of the pair of Eddie’s socks he’s sure doesn’t have holes in them, and still, still, he thinks of Buck and he wants, giddy. He looks at Buck and the excitement is a full-body thrum. He reaches for Buck and the joy inside him is bursting, demanding, cannot be contained; it spills over and stains them, sticky like his split-open heart. And maybe that’s okay, he thinks, that he gets to feel like this without a deadline. Because if he gets to give it to Buck, press it into his hands and his mouth and the wispy curls at his hairline? It feels like joy is the point, and Buck’s the glowing foundation of it, and Eddie’s ready, actually, to spend a very long time getting accustomed to just how much happiness is his to keep.
idk where this fits yet, might belong to a wip or may write something more around it :)
tagging @onward--upward @eddiebabygirldiaz @housewifebuck @chronicowboy @colonoscopys @rewritetheending @jeeyuns @zahlibeth @anakinfallen @buckactuallys @bucksbignaturals @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @eowon @clusterbuck @try-set-me-on-fire @butchdiaz @transboybuckley @devirnis <3
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crow-with-a-pencil · 2 years ago
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@naffeclipse
Them ❤️
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theshadowrealmitself · 1 year ago
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Can we get more Spider-Man content? I’ve already read through all of the current ones, and I crave more. All of your posts are great and I’d love to see more of them.
I’d love to make more fun posts but I’m still recovering from being sick rn and classes just started back so I’ve been mostly suffering these past few days so my brain just hasn’t really been working 😭
But! I can leave this one thought for you:
Peter Parker working for Norman Osborn while he’s still an undergraduate and getting into a whispered heated argument with him when Norman a) takes one of Peter’s designs and unveils it without crediting him and also b) removes safety features from it to make it cheaper to manufacture it
Peter quits on the spot when he realizes Norman isn’t sorry for what he’s done and isn’t gonna make things right, and Norman threatens him with never getting to “work in this town again” and good luck proving those were his designs and Oscorp’s also keeping all of Peter’s other stuff that they’ve stolen from him
(This is about the time that Norman’s started taking the goblin serum so he’s just at absolute peak asshole™️ mode)
Within seconds of Norman telling Peter he won’t stand a chance against Oscorp’s legal team, especially as a broke college student, Matt Murdock shows up after sprinting towards them (his super hearing letting him hear the entire argument) to hand Peter his business card and let him know he’ll take his case pro-bono
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astraystayyh · 1 year ago
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I can't explain how OBSESSED i am with this specific part
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keeps-ache · 3 months ago
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'please i have a family !! of ocs'
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writterings · 11 months ago
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every time i go to a local queer event i'm like this is it this is how i find both a cute lil twink bf and manly big bear bf (bonus if they're both trans) and we'll be in love forever and have great sex and then i go to the local queer meet up and all i do i walking away making some new friends. which isn't bad or anything but it's always so funny to me because literally what did i expect.
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tillman · 4 months ago
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And btw I got the shinryu shirt 😋
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monachopism · 7 months ago
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am i autistic or am i just paranoid. level: impossible
#seeing a friend of mine for the first time in 2 years but it was at a 9hr work training and i barely talked to him the whole time#so i text our gc multiple times bc im excited#but everyones drained from the day#so am i being a good loving kind person or am i being annoying as hell#my brain says the first one and my gut says the second#i also might have a big fat crush on this man (he is unfairly attractive and kind and funny and TALL)#so i may be overreacting bc of that#i just missed him and now my big fat crush on him is bigger and fatter than ever#at the end of our first summer he hugged me tight and told me he loved me (platonically)#then he asked if i was coming back and i said yes without any hesitation#and then he didnt come back#so ive been going on 2 years of stewing in this fucking crush soup and now im just#tumblr is the only place where i can talk abt this no one important in my life can know this#no one#i just really like him#and i wanna be around him all the time#and i wanna sit with him and talk to him and laugh with him#and help him with stuff#and i have not had an actual crush on someone since my sophomore and junior year of high school#which was 4 and 5 years ago at this point#this guy also kept staring at me from across the room and everytime i would glace in his direction he would look away#and every time i would get a glimpse of him at training i could physically feel the butterflies#hell#every time i even thought about the fact that we were in the same general area i would get butterflies#this never happens to me and its such a weird feeling#would you be so kind by dodie is the anthem of the hour rn#and i know there's a huge part of me that thinks i am unlovable bc of how i look#and ive never had anyone love me or even like me enough to initiate any kind of anything#ive been on one date in my life#never been kissed never had sex
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hikeyzz · 1 year ago
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good morning i can't stop thinking about my gf telling me my body was made to be worshipped as she kissed down my stomach and thighs end me end me end me end me end me end me en
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void-chara · 2 months ago
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ohh so itz one of Those days for me today huh.
#days where i ponder What if my friends and also literally everyone ever all Hated me due to the Valid reasons for hating me.#and then i spend so much time contemplating 1) what i would do if Everyone hated me and how i would explain myself in various situations an#places. what i would say how people would react what i would do in response etc. and then also 2) i contemplate and recontemplate my belief#over and over even tho i Know by now how i feel. because What if my opinion changes and i realize i was wrong before. and i finally arrive#at the perfect answer that feels Right and Good and True and which i could adequately explain to anyone and convince anyone of itz Rightnes#and Correctness. like thats not gonna happen thats not an answer that Exists can i chill out and focus on my classwork pleas.#i mean actually i have gotten some shit done. but i have More to do still. and i should work on more things instead of Contemplating and#Feeling bad over and over in ways i knooowwww will not lead me anywhere new. but what if they do!! what if i stop thinking about things and#then one day i would have had some realization if only id thought more but i didnt!#like come on. theres more productive things i can be doing with my time than going back and forth about this. pleaseee. this will not lead#to anything new can i Please do something useful and not bad-feeling with my time instead#but also i should not avoid uncomfortable thoughts just because they feel bad.. itz Important to be uncomfortable sometimes in order to gro#hhhhhhhhhhhh. this has been my brain all day whenever im not sufficiently distracting myself with conversation or school work.#imagining and running through scenarios of what would happen if various strangers and friends found out and disliked me for some things#is Not a good or productive use of my time rn. i need to focus on not failing any classes Please
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b4kuch1n · 2 years ago
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the legends speak of it as a kind of enthrallment: the life ended by the tiger is tied to the tiger. in this way there is a line of souls following the beast, for no reason except to show that they were killed. that they could be saved - if only the beast would die [...] in the dark of the wood you see it walk, shadow to shadow, followed by loss after loss after loss, a tail trailing seemingly into the deep death of night [...]
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unculturedswine69 · 2 months ago
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WAIT HELP I READ TOO FAST 😭😭
omg but who are your favs in the twdg games... 😳😳😳
OH HFHGFHJ ITS FINE I DO THAT ALL THE TIME TOO BUT YEAH AS YOU KNOW I LOVE THE GAMES AND SHOW AND ALSO THE COMIC!! BUT FOR THE GAMES UHMMM..omg this is SUCH a tough question honestly?? like, i feel very complicated about basically every character in this series so its hard to just pick one fave....
hmm i will say tho i have ALWAYS loved Lee and Clementine (obviously,who doesnt hehe) i just love them sm 😭the first game just makes me so emotional FRFR in the first game i also loved Ben,Chuck, Omid and Christa and Molly!! id also include Kenny but...i have a sorta love/hate relationship with that guy 😭😭😭😭hes such a good character tho!! in general i think the first game was just so good😌😌
for the other games im less familiar with them since ive only played the other seasons once each so my memory is probably a little off,but i remember really liking Sarah ,Nick,Luke and Jane from the 2nd season,but again i think some of these characters are like. love/hate with me currently,i think s2 is so turbulent that its kinda hard to pick faves really (for me atleast) with the 3rd season i remember LOVING that Tripp guy and also Javier,but its been years since i last played the game so i probably have a bunch of different opinions on everything now😭😭in general i just dont remember too much from that game,i definitely have to replay it eventually..for s4 tho?? hmm honestly,i think i loved like,90% of the cast in that LMAO but i think i liked uhhm AJ the most.and also i think his name was Asim (or aasim) and Ruby,i liked them alot i think,and louis and violet too 😌😌😌also the dog?? does the dog count??? in general i just thought the characters were pretty interesting in that game,but again i think ima just have to replay all of these again to see how i REALLY feel
ANYWAYS THANKS FOR THE QUESTION AURA!!! i would LOVE to know your faves too😈😈😈😈😈😈
#my friend!!!!!!!#cant believe im getting a twd question in our modern year 2024 (thank you. i cannot get enough of this stupid zombie franchise)#maybe the zombies were the friends we made along the way (?)#i think rick grimes said something to that effect in like season 5 or something .sorry#I LOVE THE WALKING DEAD GAMES SOO MUCH#the first game i ever got a platinum trophy on was twd s1 for the ps3#lots of good memories. it scared me so much but i was so infatuated with the world i HAD to do everything in it#i think its funny how i got into this whole series through the games.didnt even know anything abt the show#it came out in like..2012 right?? 2013?? so i was lik 7 or 8 .crazy#yes i still get scared at these games. im stil lscared of fnaf. sue me. yes i still cry at the ending to s1#SUE ME IDC#me when the father figure has to leave.me when the figure who is a father to young girl has to abandon her for reasons they cant control#me when fathers. me when men who father children who arent their own and love them like their own cuz they are kind and good.#clenches fists...oughhh...family..#anyways this is so crazy cuz i was thinking about playing the games again like a week ago#can you read my mind?????????? probably. clown to clown communication. gg fan to gg fan communication#isnt it so crazy that twdg are taking place at like the exact same time that like. the show (or comic i dont remember) is??#like. i dont rlly think abt that enough tbh. its kinda crazy to me#the fact that we had glenn for like 1 (one) chapter in the games is so crazy to me. he was just out there#i also really liked glenn but idk if he counts since he was like.a cameo. he was like a disney channel show cameo idk#anyways sorry for the rants.i just had my vitamins im CRAZY im PSYCHO rn!!#anyone else ever get a lil emotional thinking abt kenny. im sure we all do. but. oughh. s2 kenny and lee comparison makes my brain hurt#anyways. i need to STOP im a MADMAN RN#see this is what happens when you ask me about my interests. leave me alone (joke. pats you on shoulder and smiles softly)
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gwalch-mei · 2 months ago
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the pain of brainrot is watching literally anything and going hm how can i make this abt arthuriana
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phagodyke · 5 months ago
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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<
#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together#i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week#all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds#also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn#ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself#but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates#gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard#but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh#and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism#like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since#n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on#its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it#and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions#+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf#so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead#its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths#just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea#but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke#so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close#ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual#happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all#and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves#like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me#and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway#doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3#but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately#but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that#.diaries#okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo
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