#my brain came up with this joke while I was on the toilet

[boobiemom]

Catgirl with a gun and sword!

[wyattjohnston]

turbulent - nico hischier

summary: a bumpy flight forces two people closer together.

word count: 2,790

note: this is for @dunnerlars as part of the summer fic exchange 2k24. i really hope you like it ash <3 thanks to @offside-the-lines for putting up with me going through the five stages of grief whilst trying to pull this together!

There was an element of strangeness to working on an NHL charter flight; most perplexing, even still, to Bonnie was the sudden way they all stripped out of their suits the second the seatbelt sign was turned off. She understood that sitting in a suit for six hours wasn’t comfortable, and also understood that the toilets were not big enough for giant men to reasonably change—she chose to spend time in the galley while they were doing it, because it was impossible not to stare inappropriately if she was walking the aisles.

“I thought you were joking,” Alice said, returning to the galley wide eyed and keeping the curtain closed with a hard fist against the cabin wall.

Bonnie hummed without turning around. “Everyone does.”

Short of holding her coworkers hostage in the galley, there wasn’t much Bonnie could do beyond warning them about what they’d see if they wandered the plane before she told them to. So, without fail, they all got caught in the aisles as some twenty odd men stood in unison and started to remove their pants.

“I know athletes have no shame in locker rooms,” Alice whispered aggressively, still with a firm grip on the curtain, “but this is a plane. There are people out there! Journalists!”

“This happens every flight,” Bonnie stressed. “Everyone is used to it. Some of the journalists might even be changing, too.”

Alice’s eyes widened, so big that Bonnie had a mild concern that they would come out of her head, and they only returned to normal when the captain’s voice came over the speaker.

“Hello everyone, sorry to interrupt your flight so early on, we have just been made aware of some unexpected weather on route to Los Angeles. We’ll do our best to make any necessary deviations to avoid patches of turbulence without adding too much extra time to the flight. For your own safety, please keep your seatbelts fastened and only move around the cabin if necessary. Thank you.”

Bonnie sighed, her chin dropping to her chest, at the thought of yet another turbulent flight. Alice groaned. It had been an uncommonly turbulent couple of weeks across both of their flights, even in completely different areas and directions—it was the first thing they’d spoken about when they met before getting on the plane.

“I can’t unsee any of that,” Alice said, finally letting go of the curtain.

“I mean, yeah, but there are worse things to have burnt into your brain.”

Alice readily agreed, even took a moment to subtly peak back into the cabin.

Bonnie still vividly remembered the first time she’d witnessed it. She would never forget the eye contact she’d made with the team’s captain before her eyes were drawn to his bare chest, the tattoo on the inside of his bicep—

“What can I do for you?”

“I’m just here to see Bonnie.”

Said chest and said tattoo blazed in Bonnie’s mind, and then she made eye contact with the team’s captain and sighed softly.

“Hi, Nico,” she greeted. “My captain said you were meant to remain seated with your seatbelt on.”

He smiled knowingly, “Good luck with that.”

Alice disappeared back into the cabin when someone pressed the call button and Nico moved out of her way with a practiced ease, even as Bonnie began to organise the food trolley for the first pass through.

“I just wanted to come check on you; you weren’t on the last few flights.”

“Just a sinus infection,” she said, as if it hadn’t written her off for a week and a half. “Didn’t want my eardrums to explode, you know?”

“You’re okay?” he asked, his hand coming to rest on her forearm. Concern radiated off him.

Bonnie covered his hand with her own, smiling softly and saying reassuringly, “I’m all better.”

Nico stayed while Bonnie finished filling the trolley. The flights were the three after the All-Star Break, so he had plenty of stories to tell to keep her occupied. The Swiss boys had headed to Mexico, of which she was jealous. It hadn’t been too cold in Jersey, but the need for sun had been growing and growing since Christmas, and the longing had only gotten more intense after being cooped up in her own apartment.

“Have you been?” Nico asked.

“No,” Bonnie said with a shake of her head. “One of my college friends had a vacation home in Fort Lauderdale so we did Spring Br—shit.”

The trolley rattled, a few trays coming half out of their places, and Bonnie watched helplessly as the last knife and fork fell off the counter.

“What the fuck is going on today?” Nico asked, causing Bonnie's eyes to snap up. He had a hand on each of the high cabinets either side of the galley.

“You should go back to your seat,” Bonnie said, picking up the lost cutlery and dropping into what would become the dirty dishes container. “I’ll be out in a second. Put your seatbelt on.”

Nico nodded, “Yes ma’am.”

Bonnie was friendly with all the players, staff and media on the flight. Most of them were familiar faces, especially halfway through the season, but anybody she didn’t know was introduced to her with a startling amount of enthusiasm from whichever player had taken it upon themselves to do so—normally it was Luke, being egged on by Nate. She always made sure they had the same energy for whoever had been assigned to work with her, whether or not they had ever met before. Alice looked delighted by the attention; Bonnie hoped it was just the energy being contagious.

If they lingered a little longer next to Nico, who politely ignored Alice’s doe eyes, and Jesper, so that they could get his round up of the All-Star Game, that was purely coincidental.

Back in the galley, Alice was poised to ask many questions. Bonnie could feel the curiosity bursting from her, it only becoming more obvious with every passing minute of silence. Every now and then Bonnie was assigned to work with someone who couldn’t quite handle it. Bonnie would never put in any complaints herself for some lowkey fangirling, but she had had a few coworkers who had been asked to never work a team’s charter flight again.

“Say whatever it is you want to say,” Bonnie said after Alice’s eagerness became too much to bear.

“Did they ask for you to be on all their flights?”

“Uh…” Bonnie hesitated, rolling the question around in her mind. She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting, but it wasn’t that “I don’t think so? I think it’s just easier to have someone who knows all the ins and outs. I didn’t think they could request people.”

“The Rangers do it,” Alice said casually, as she pulled out a new tray of water bottles from the fridge, “but I think that’s because she’s sleeping with one of the players.”

Bonnie was nodding, distracted by someone pressing the call button, and responded mindlessly, “Yeah, that’s pretty norm—Wait, what? I didn’t know anything about that!”

“That’s what I heard,” Alice said, looking and sounding suspiciously like Alexis Rose. “Super juicy. They wouldn’t tell me which player which was upsetting.”

“I wouldn’t want to know anyway,” Bonnie said, largely trying to convince herself because, though she would never admit aloud, she was not immune to gossip. “I couldn’t look them in the face again.”

The plane rumbled.

“Fine, I won’t tell you when I find out, but I also won’t tell anybody you’re sleeping with Nico. Promise.”

Bonnie’s neck snapped as she turned to glare at Alice. “Yeah, you better not because I’m not sleeping with Nico.”

“Oh, really? Damn.” Alice pouted. “You so could be, though. Should be.”

The thing about that was that Bonnie knew she could be. Nico had never made it explicitly clear, but nobody else on the team spent any time in the galley with her during flights. Nobody else ever got up and sought her out when they needed something.

Nobody else touched her so effortlessly, so naturally, when in her space without at all being in the way or a burden.

Nobody else ever looked at her like she was the best thing to happen in their day.

Bonnie tried her hardest to hide the small sigh that escaped her lips. She made direct eye contact with Alice as she moved the conversation along.

“How did you even find out about the Rangers thing? This is your first flight.”

Alice, either oblivious to the redirect or just so interested in the gossip that she didn’t mind, rattled on, “They brought me in for orientation and the woman they left me with is chatty.”

Bonnie knew the exact woman being referred to—in fact, she’d been subtly blacklisted from the Devils’ flights at the beginning of that season for some very inappropriate and entirely unsubtle flirting.

Alice was still talking, even as she left the galley with her tray of water bottles and crossed through the curtain, stopping mid-word to change topics and start a conversation with the person sitting directly on the other side.

A brief jolt came over the plane and Bonnie groaned. It was followed by a considerable rattle.

She was second guessing her career choice as her stomach lurched with the plane when Nico, once again, appeared in the galley. His closed-mouth smile was genuine if not a little cautious and it set Bonnie at ease.

Until she felt more turbulence and was met with Nico’s uncertain head tilt.

“You can stay, but you have to sit there,” Bonnie told him, putting a hand on his shoulder to forcibly turn him around to look at the jump seat she was pointing at. “And put your seatbelt on.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said. When he sat down, he only broke eye contact to find the seatbelt. “What did you do while we were on break?”

The shelves were rattling around her.

“Worked other flights like I normally do when you guys are at home for a while,” Bonnie answered. “I don’t just sit at home and wait for the team to go on a road trip, you know.”

“That… that makes a lot of sense,” he admitted, his cheeks turning the slightest bit red. “I don’t know why I thought you only flew with us.”

“Sometimes I fly with the Knicks, sometimes there’s some commercial flights. You boys are my favourites, though.”

Nico’s sweet smile turned just ever so slightly into a smirk. “I knew we would be.”

“You didn’t even know there were others,” Bonnie said, laughing.

“Yeah, but obviously.”

Bonnie’s eye roll was good natured, her laughter continuing as Nico’s smirk morphed back into its purest, most genuine form.

She kept looking back at him as she continued to work, sometimes to show she was listening and other times just to look. He was often looking back.

Their peacefulness was interrupted by the ding of the seatbelt sign being switched on and the plane’s captain making an announcement.

“Everybody, including cabin crew, the seatbelt sign has been turned on. Please make your way back to your seats immediately and put on your seatbelt; we don’t expect that to be the last patch and we apologise for our lack of notice on that one. If you need emergency assistance, please press the call button and someone will be with you as soon as it is safe.”

The inclusion of the cabin crew set Bonnie on edge, and she was halfway to demanding Nico return to his seat and hunting Alice down to drag her back when the plane shook even more violently than it had the entire life.

Bonnie’s feet momentarily left the floor. She could hear some shouting from the cabin. She could hear luggage bouncing in the nearest overhead lockers. She made eye contact with Nico—all colour was drained from his face.

“Where’s Alice?” Bonnie asked, holding desperately onto the galley counter behind her back. “She needs to be sitting down.”

Nico leant as far as he could, peeking down the aisle, before saying firmly, “She’s in my seat. Come here.”

Bonnie didn’t let go of the counter as she walked, her eyes never leaving the seat opposite Nico, and she was confident she was going to make it before the next bump. She looked back into the aisle when she could, instantly looking to Nico’s normal seat to see Alice expertly calming down some very nervous men, and relaxed knowing that she was safe.

Naturally, the plane started to tremble just a bit harder the very second she was feeling comfortable, and the oh shit had barely left her mouth before the plane dropped again. Her mind filled with all the things that could happen, where her head and the plane would meet, all the things that would inevitably fall on her if she was unable to get off the floor. And then—

“Gopf.”

She was hauled by the arm with an abrupt and unexpected force, all momentum she’d gained coming to a crashing halt when she collided with Nico’s chest and was held firmly in place by his arms wrapped around her.

“This is the worst flight I’ve ever been on.”

“Go on a date with me.”

Bonnie froze in Nico’s arms; no thoughts being given to the next bumpy patch and all thoughts being focused on his words and the way his arms squeezed just a little bit together.

“What?” she asked, breathless. “Nico.”

“I kind of feel like we might be about to die,” he said—it wasn’t totally clear if he was being serious or not, but he was sincere in his tone. “I don’t want that to happen without at least asking.”

She sighed wistfully, swooning closer to him in their already intimate position. Nico’s eyes dropped to Bonnie’s mouth, causing her to bite her lip and turn her head.

“I shouldn’t have asked?” Nico asked cautiously, his arms loosening around her waist. “I’m sorry.”

Bonnie shook her head, and said in a whisper, “You should have. I’m just—I’m working. I wish I wasn’t working.”

Out of the corner of her eye she caught Nico’s small, pleased expression, and revelled in the delight in his voice when he said, mostly to himself, “I’ll ask again when we’re off the plane.”

For her own sanity, and to remain professional whilst working, Bonnie took the slight break in turbulence as an opportunity to move to the empty jump seat on the other side of the galley. Nico’s hands lingered on her waist as she left, and his eyes burnt holes in the side of her head. She was determinedly looking down the aisle, carefully not looking at anybody sitting down.

The turbulence continued, the seatbelt sign remained on, but Bonnie and Alice were free to move around the cabin. Nico went back to his seat when Alice returned, the smile he sent Bonnie had Alice turning to her deviously.

“Are you sure you aren’t fucking him?”

“I would remember.”

Alice prattled on about maybe the sex being so good that it was affecting Bonnie’s memory, not letting up even as they prepared the cabin for landing—both of them steering clear of the cabin as the players stripped down to change back into their suits. It was amazing how much work she could get done whilst her mouth was moving a million miles a minute, seemingly every thought coming out in a stream of consciousness. It may have been about Bonnie, but it was still enough for Bonnie to tune out the exact words and just let it become background noise that distracted her from thinking about whether or not Nico was in fact going to find her once the plane had landed.

As always, the players were the first off of the plane, most of them thanking Bonnie and Alice, whilst others looked a bit too green to speak. Nico was the last of the players to disembark, slightly uncommon but not unheard of. Bonnie had to keep her eyes trained on his face because she knew if she even looked at Alice for a moment the endless talking would restart.

“I, uh, don’t actually know if I can miss the team bus from the airport,” he said, his eyebrows knitted tightly together and his voice solemn. “But if I could get your number, we could meet up later? For dinner?”

“Yeah,” Bonnie nodded, blushing. “I’d like that a lot.”

Nico pulled out his phone for Bonnie to enter her number, and, when she was finished, she made accidental eye contact with Alice who had, to Bonnie’s dismay, started to dance in the galley.

[shelbgrey]

Baby on the brain(Derek Shepherd)

Request: @emalynvtgtgfhvgg can you do a Derek Shepherd x YN? Where she’s at work and throws up Bailey runs a test and she’s pregnant plssssss

Paring: Derek Shepherd x reader x Miranda Bailey

Greys MasterList

“we could get Ben to cook some steaks on the grill” I said scrubbing my hands with Bailey next to me. The two of us were trying to plan a get-together with Ben and Derek.

“we could do that, but I think we should pick the movie this time” Bailey said shaking her head. I chuckled remembering the last time we had a movie night and Ben bright the movie Annabelle, me nor Bailey had a fun night. We spent half the night hiding in our husbands arm.

Alex came in next and started to scrub his hands. “What are we talking about?” he asked genuinely curious. I looked over to my best friend and smiled as I tide my checkered scrub cap on my head.

“talking about Ben and Derek terrorizing us with Annabelle”

“mosty we're planning a date... Not that's any of your business” Bailey scoffed but gave him a smile so he knew she was joking. Alex chuckled as he continued to scrub in.

As the two continued to talk I felt my stomach start to turn and the smell of the water running made me sick. I sighed and gripped the edges of the scrubbing sink.

“N/n? You okay?” Bailey placed her hand on my shoulder a rubbed it.

“y/n?” Alex asked.

“I think I'm gonna Hurl” I mumbled holding my hand near my mouth while also trying to steady my breathing. “Yep, definitely gonna hurl”

I sprinted out of the scrubbing room and into the closet bathroom. I ran through the bathroom door and ripped the biggest stall open making it fly backwards and banging up against the one next door.

The noise stung my ears but I was glad it was masking the nauseating sounds of me emptying my sorry excuse of a stomach.

“you wait here” I hear a muffled Bailey tell Alex.

“Y/n are you okay?” Bailey asked from behind as she held my hair back. I let out a breath and rested my damp forehead on my arm. I let out a cough as Bailey backed up so a could set down away from the toilet. I pressed my back up against the cold metal stall as she rubbed my back.

“I'm okay, I'm okay” I whispered as I pulled my scrub cap off my head. Bailey's brown eyes stared at me with concern. She then looked at me up and down as the gears in her head turned.

“what?” I asked.

“could you be pregnant?” she asked. I staired at her for a brief second then burst out laughing which made Alex knock.

“everything okay in there?” he yelled from the other side of the door. We ignored him and Bailey studied my expression with shock and confusion.

“I can't get pregnant” I mumbled. Bailey wrinkled her eye browse with a sad experience. “who said you can't get pregnant?”

I sighed as stood up from the cold floor then hopped onto the counter that was next to the sink. “I was about 16 when they said I couldn't get pregnant...”

Bailey crossed her arms and gave my a look with nothing but sympathy. “dose Derek know?”

I nodded sadly. “we still talk about building a family. We want kids... I think we talk about it a lot to cope with it all”

Bailey sighed but had a spark in her eyes that held nothing but hope. “ya know... Your showing sings, your nauseous, your brests are bigger... Your moody... More than usual. When was your last cycle?”

I looked up and counted the days. The more I counted and did the math, the faster my heart fluttered. I hadn't had my period this month but I thought it was due to stress. I looked at Bailey and covered my mouth.

“I can't be” Bailey smiled and shrugged. “only one way to find out”

Bailey walked over the entrance of the bathroom and opened the door. Alex tumbled forward but cought himself on the door frame. I giggled as Bailey shot him a scowl.

“Karev go get a pregnancy test” Bailey told him. His eyes bugged out then he looked over to me with a big smile.

“Pronto Karev, and don't let anyone see ya either!” Bailey said. Alex quickly dashed out of the bathroom and went on his mission. He came back ten minutes late and handed me a cup.

“okay pee in this” he said handing me the cup. I wasn't phased by his choice of words but Bailey rolled her eyes. “classy Karev, real classy”

Did my business and handed the cup to Alex with the cap on. He held it with a digusted expression. I honestly don't blame him, dispite us being as close as siblings I wouldn't want to hold a cup of his pee.

“I think we're waisting our time” I sighed.

Alex shrugged. “I don't know, it looks like pregnancy pee to me”

Me and Bailey scoffed. “Karev get it the lab!” Bailey said pointing to the door. Alex busted out laughing and left the bathroom.

~~~~~~~~(.......)~~~~~~~~

“Hey, beautiful” Derek smiled coming up to me in the hallway. I smiled as he put his arm on my shoulder. “hey”

I dropped off my patients chart at the nurse's station then filled out a form to release a patient that was on mine and Owen's service. Derek was leaning on the nurse's station telling me about his surgery when Bailey came up to us with a big smile.

“I need to talk to you” she said pointing to me then turn to Derek. “both of you... If you want” she said looking at me.

I crossed my arms and looked at her trying to put the pieces together on her mood. “depends”

She smiled at me and nodded. I unfold my arms in disbelief. “really?” I smiled as Derek looked between us confused.

She nodded and hugged me. “Wait what are you two up to?” Derek asked. Bailey smiled and told us to come to the Attendings' room.

Once we we're alone a spilled the good news. “I'm pregnant” Derek didn't skip a beat and immediately wrapped his arms around me as nothing but pure happiness plastered on his face.

“I'm so happy” he said burying his face in my neck as happy tears pricked his eyes.

“congrats mama Shepherd” Bailey smiled as I left Derek's arms and hugged her tight. “your the God mother ya known” she smiled proudly and nodded.

“I'm so happy for you guys” she said hugging Derek.

“me too” I said smiling at Derek.

[nariism]

my brother's best friend

pair. miya osamu x gn!reader

content: fluff, attempts at humour, miya atsumu is a little shit, first loves, mutual pining

synopsis. miya osamu takes pride in the fact that he’s the smarter of the twins. he, in fact, is not (especially when it comes to you).

wc. 3.1k

a/n: om nom nom nom nom brother's best friend trope nom nom nom... ok i have to come clean about this fic i literally wrote the first draft for this in 2021 on WATTPAD and it's been sitting dormant forever up until recently. enjoy 🫶

‎oh my god, how did i end up here?

it’s the only thought repeating over and over again in osamu’s head as he sits there staring at you. you’re too preoccupied with the menu in your hands to notice his unwavering gaze, scanning through it and muttering to yourself indecisively about what to order.

of course, the question of how he ended up here on a date with you could be summarized in one simple sentence:

miya atsumu is the world’s biggest idiot.

if kita or aran were here they would surely be poking fun at him right now, lecturing him about how his dna is a perfect carbon copy of atsumu’s. and while they would be right, osamu is convinced his brother has at least 70% less brain cell capacity.

the thought makes him feel a little smug. (he’s in the class under atsumu.)

you were friends. at least as far as how often you saw each other, he considered you good friends. maybe. not that he knew all that much about you other than the fact that you were constantly... around. if he didn’t know that atsumu was the biggest knucklehead on planet earth, he would have assumed you were dating. but he knew his brother was too invested in volleyball to be seeing anyone seriously, and you didn’t didn’t seem like the type to mess around with guys like him anyways.

you were way too level-headed for that despite the raunchy, head-turning jokes you liked to tell, which honestly might be the reason why atsumu keeps you around.

whenever you came to their house, you would stick to lounging in atsumu’s room or the living room. you typically avoided disturbing osamu and the rest of their family — not like they minded having you around. no, in fact, their mother had a strange soft spot for you. you were quiet and well mannered, until it was just the three of you and suddenly an onslaught of fierce attacks on poor atsumu would commence.

for the majority of your friendship, you have stayed out of his way and he stays out of yours. you only talk to each other when deemed necessary, like when walking home from school or when you shyly greet him at the door because atsumu is on the toilet. he does, however, rejoice in the fact that there is another person on the atsumu hate train, and appreciates that you’re at least colourful with your insults. it’s impressive, really.

(he would never admit it. never. never ever. but it warms his heart a little that there’s someone out there just like him, expressing their love for miya atsumu in less conventional ways.)

you were quick witted and funny. a free source of entertainment when he would grow bored of his brother’s shenanigans. and it was a two way street, because when you needed a break from atsumu, osamu was always right there. 

you were noticeably gentler with the younger of the miya twins: asking him how school was, and if he needed help with his chemistry homework, and what he had for lunch. menial little things, but sometimes he found himself thinking that it was the highlight of his day.

otherwise, your presence in his life is, as osamu considers it, indifferent.

sure, he likes to look at you. and sometimes, maybe, he wishes you and atsumu would invite him around more often. it also doesn’t help his heart when you’re so nice to him, like when you’re all having dinner together and you pretend you don’t want the last dumpling on your plate and shovel it onto his. he likes that. or when you invite yourself into their freezer for ice cream, you always make sure to grab an extra one for him. there have been multiple occasions in which you’ve wordlessly slid him your notes to copy, too.

you were good at that; knowing what others wanted and being more selfless than the average person. you’re a people pleaser, and though he and atsumu used to make fun of your type when they were kids, your charm is undeniable.

unfortunately, actually making any sort of move on you is out of the question. not only would it potentially complicate things between you and him, it would also risk putting a strain on your friendship with atsumu. making his brother’s life a living hell is what miya osamu was born into this world to do, but for some reason his stomach turns at the thought of ruining your friendship.

you were just atsumu’s cute best friend. nothing less, nothing more. and he would very much like to beat the “i fell in love with my brother’s best friend” allegations, thank you.

he realizes he’s still looking at you intently with his arms crossed over his chest. he watches as your nose scrunches a little in thought, trying to decide between their two best sellers. he sighs in relief when you get up to order for yourself, tucking a stray hair under his cap before going back to sulking with his thoughts.

atsumu had a lot of bad ideas. so many that if they sat down and listed them all out they might be there for a couple days. but this? this is his worst one yet. and how osamu managed to get roped (bribed) into this, he will never know. but here he is, and here you are, and here atsumu is not.

he really should get better at saying no to atsumu.

(“c’mon, ‘samu! please? for me?!”

“what the hell? no. that’s a shitty thing to do. just tell them ya can’t go.”

“but it’s their birthday! they were lookin’ forward to this. they’ll hate me forever if i bailed!”

“and? why would i help you? ‘specially with somethin’ so stupid. it’s your fault you didn’t plan better.”

“don’t be like that, y’know it was a last minute thing!”

a beat of silence.

“pretty please? it’s their birthday… you guys are friends too, right?”

osamu can’t believe he’s entertaining this stupid idea for even a second. you’re not an idiot. you’d know it’s him with a single glance.

“this is an all time low, even for you. they’ll notice it’s me right away. are ya crazy, ‘tsumu? hit your head or somethin’?”

“it’s just this one time! i’ll never ask ya for anythin’ ever again. never ever ever ever, i swear it.”

“...’tsumu…”

“don’t sound so tired with me! do this for your big brother. have i mentioned it’s their birthday?”

big brother? osamu scoffs loudly.

“you actually mentioned it three times. and yer only a couple minutes older than me. but... fine.”

“don’t be such a jacka- wait, what?”

“i said fine. but you owe me lunch for the next two weeks.”

“deal!”

“... are ya sure they won’t know it’s me? i mean, i really think you should reconsider-”

“oh shut up, ‘samu, we’re identical!”

“just know that i won’t hesitate to throw ya under the bus if shit hits the fan.”)

what a terrible plan. pretending to be atsumu was proving to be harder than he initially anticipated. he would have thought that spending every agonizing, waking, living hour with his brother would have trained him well enough, but atsumu is so no-chill that it’s somehow making this already horrible idea even worse with every passing second.

surprisingly, you haven’t said anything. you haven’t acknowledged the massive elephant in the room. this could only mean one of three things:

1. you’ve noticed, but you’re desperately trying to spare atsumu’s feelings and osamu’s embarrassment by not bringing it up.

2. you’re dumber than he thought. dumber than a rock, actually, if you didn’t take one look at osamu and know it was him.

3. you are a cruel, wicked, evil, deranged human being who finds osamu’s situation entirely hilarious and wants this to go on for as long as possible.

judging by your casual banter, he’s willing to bet it’s either option one or two. you’re twirling a lanyard around your finger when you finally return with your drink of choice in tow. next destination: the local aquarium. atsumu put a surprising amount of effort into planning the day.

it’s a shame he hadn’t accounted for planning himself into it.

‎he shouldn’t have agreed to come here.

spending time alone with you like this was bound to stir up feelings he’d long ago buried in the hollows of his heart. of the miya twins, osamu was always better at keeping his emotions under wraps. there were rare occasions in which he lost his cool, in which he was actually somehow worse than atsumu, but in general he was as level-headed as you were.

you’re ruining him and his plans to never acknowledge his feelings for you.

it’s unfair, really, how his heart seemingly gets lodged in his throat when you cling to his arm so tightly, laughing and pointing out all the funny-looking fish. and when you point at something called a vampire squid, raving about how long it took you to find one in animal crossing, he nearly crumbles to his knees and puts his head in his hands.

(in other words, he’s totally whipped. he’s not beating those allegations.)

osamu thought he could get used to looking at anyone’s face. he always found people boring — he grew up being the other half of his brother, after all. the miya twins are many things, but boring is not one of them, and to entertain them you have to be someone with a special brand of humour.

but now, as he looks at you with the soft blue glow from the tank shining against your face, he can’t help the thought that crosses his mind:

i could never get tired of this.

“... hailing from the depths of tropical and subtropical waters, the vampire squid feeds on marine snow.”

he blinks back into reality, eyes drifting from you to the sea creature you’re admiring, then back to you. “marine snow? sounds gross.”

“it’s the debris that falls to the lower levels of the ocean. lots of deep sea creatures feed that way since it saves them the energy of needing to go hunt.”

osamu seems skeptical. “they really just eat anythin’ like that?”

your head turns to look at him. there’s a little smile playing on your face, like you seem amused by what he just said. “sounds like someone i know.”

he makes a strange expression in response. were you talking about him? did you often bring him up when you were alone with atsumu? the soft and fond look in your eyes doesn’t help his racing heart. the idea that you and atsumu talk about him in private so sweetly makes his face burn slightly in embarrassment.

he shakes his head to get the thought out of his brain before stuffing his hands into his pockets.

your arm finds his again, locking together. it’s an oddly intimate action, even if you think he really is atsumu. he doesn’t know you to be the most touchy person on earth, though he supposes he can’t see what you’re like behind the closed doors of his brother’s bedroom. his blood boils for some reason.

you stop at the next tank, the one situated in the centre of the room filled high with kelp and schools of tiny fish. you’re looking at them with wide eyes, light shimmering in them. he could cry right now. you look like an angel bathed in the shadows of dancing fish as your gaze carefully follows a school circling around the top of the aquarium.

there’s a feeling swimming inside of him, unfamiliar and oh so dreadful. he can feel it in raging in every part of him — in his heart, in the fiery pits of his stomach, in his throat — and he knows exactly which word comes to mind.

miya osamu may be in the lowest class in his year, and he might share a single brain cell with his brother, but he’s read enough books to describe this feeling. he’s listened to enough love songs to know this ache in him.

if you asked him ten years from now, he’d tell you exactly the same thing as he would right now; that your first love is always petrifying.

“pretty, aren’t they?”

“yeah. real pretty.”

but he hasn’t looked at them even once. how could he when there’s a living, breathing angel standing next to him?

‎osamu delivers you to your doorstep that night.

it feels like a dream, the whole day and having the privilege of holding your hand and feeling your body against his.

maybe it was just the greedy monster in him speaking. the laws of the universe dictate that if it’s you and osamu, atsumu needs to be there, too. the miya twins have always come in a package. a duo. there is no just atsumu or just osamu, at least there wasn’t until you came along.

suddenly it was you and atsumu. it was atsumu and osamu, and you. but there was never just you and osamu. it didn’t work that way.

well, screw the universe and its laws. osamu never believed in that astrology shit anyways.

he’s fully prepared to keep this day an untarnished memory — something to cherish when life goes back to normal and he’s unable to stand shoulder to shoulder like this with you again.

when you lean in to kiss him, there is only one thought repeating in his mind like a mantra:

it’s just once. just one day. one last perfect memory.

you’re so close that he can feel your breath filling his lungs. his heart hammers where it rests in his chest, so loud that he can hear it thundering in his ears. it’s then that he realizes this is wrong. all of it is wrong.

he recoils back with lightning speed, and his heart aches at the sight of your disappointed and puzzled expression. but it’s not fair to you, and it’s not fair to atsumu either.

he cares about both of you too much to be selfish right now.

how could he possibly risk hurting two of the people he cared most about in the world? he couldn’t be that self-centred, to be able to steal a kiss from you just to keep his memories of this day perfect.

perfect doesn’t exist if none of it is real.

“i’m not… i’m not who you think i am.”

he slides the hat off his head with shame burning in his cheeks, avoiding your eyes like a child who got caught with his hand in a cookie jar. it was time for him to be honest, both with you and himself.

“look, yer really cool. and i– crap, it’s complicated, ‘kay? i might like you. like– like you, like you. i wasn’t thinkin’ straight. 'm really sorry, i know it was wrong to string you along, i was just havin’ so much fun today that–”

his mouth suddenly comes to a halt as you reach forward and capture his cheeks between your fingers, squishing them together so he’ll stop rambling.

you look at him with a confused but amused smile. “um, ‘samu? i like you, too.”

“what?” he sputters out as much as he can with his face still held in place. his brows furrow, but all rational thoughts have stopped flowing in his mind. he’s staring at you like a flabbergasted idiot, so you continue.

“why else would i agree to go on a date with you on my birthday?”

“but– i– huh?”

your head tilts. “this was a date, wasn’t it?”

it dawns on him then. it had never occurred to osamu that there was another explanation for your strange lack of acknowledgment that he is painfully easy to see through:

4. you like him and simply thought this was a date. you like him as much as he likes you, which is a stupid amount. after all, he likes you enough to go through with an infinite number of atsumu’s terrible ideas just to make you happy.

of course you weren’t that dense. of course he was found out the second you laid eyes on him. of course he had misread the entire situation because he was blinded by his brother’s boisterous claims that they were indistinguishable.

“this is ridiculous. i can’t believe you–… atsumu somehow always pulls through even when he doesn’t mean to.”

“what do you mean?”

“whadd’ya mean, what do i mean?”

“about atsumu?”

“oh, he was freakin’ out about missin’ today and wanted me to go through this whole thing pretendin' i’m him so ya wouldn’t be mad at him.”

“but he already told me he couldn’t make it today? you really didn’t have to do… all this,” you gesture to his whole body with a flick of your wrist.

at your words osamu finally crumbles to his knees in pure agony. he looks up to the sky, to whatever god has forsaken him by making atsumu his other half, and sighs with the weight of the world on his shoulders. he can just imagine the shit-eating grin his brother has right now.

“i’m…” he pauses, carefully selecting his next words, “going to smother him with a pillow.”

you blink at him for a moment before all the pieces fall into place.

all the times you’d gushed to atsumu about your massive crush on his twin and the way he’d complain to no end about neither of you making a move, forcing him to watch on with mild disgust as his best friend and brother made goo goo eyes at each other. all the times he would “forget” his shoes at the gym and need to run back to grab them, pushing you into small talk with osamu. all the times he would suffer through your teasing just to see the two of you walking side-by-side sharing proud little smiles.

atsumu’s resume looks something like this: world’s biggest idiot, volleyball player, third-wheel, and tired wingman.

you’ll have to thank him later.

“no wonder you’ve been acting so weird all day! i thought you were just one of those guys who gets nervous on first dates!” accompanied by this statement is a laugh that makes osamu weak.

he grumbles. “what’s so funny?”

“say what you want, but you’re as dumb as ‘tsumu.”

“no… please… don’t compare me to that nitwit… i might have a heart attack at this rate.”

you snicker quietly as you help osamu back onto his feet, eyes shimmering with joy as you let his confession sink in.

“you’re right, he is an idiot.”

“dumbass.”

“moron.”

“he’s gonna hate us even more from now on,” osamu smiles uncontrollably, inching closer to you again.

“yeah?” your lips brush against his daringly, “i can live with that.”

EXTRA:

© ALABOADOA 2023 — please do not translate or post my works to other platforms.

🏷️ @hyomagiri (im dead like actually dead)

[hugshughes]

Patience is a Virtue C. Loveland

Colston Loveland x fem!Minter!reader

synopsis - Colston gets the trophy, and finally gets the girl.

wc - 3.8k

contains - UNEDITED! this is based off of this request! READER IS COACH MINTER(michigan defensive coordinator)'S DAUGHTER!!!!!!! kissing, hugging, fluff, cursing, stress over the game. guys if u don't like my cute outfit i picked then #1 ur a hater and #2 it's not a big deal! think of something else🤞🤞🤞 cause my Adidas navy handballs with gold accents ARE STAYING. there IS a picture of the outfit im describing but im obvi not gonna stick it in the middle of the fic so if anyone wants that i guess request or message me lols?

an - GUYS PLEASE LET THIS POST LETS PRAY TOGETHER. THIS WAS CUTE. i've been getting the BEST requests lately. i'm on my Michigan FOOTBALL grind. ive spent a long while introducing the jesse minter daughter reader.... she might have to stick around. i want to write for Blake Corum but don't know what to do because literally all i have written for the past week is like "girlfriend or friend of player reader comes to watch their playoff game, reader and love interest kiss after love interest wins game" so... DONT GET ME WRONG I LOVEEEE WRITING THAT SHIT. but it feels so repetitive. BUT THIS? I LOVED THIS. daughter of the coach is so scandalous and i love it. minter is only 40 so like we're just saying he had his daughter (reader) pretty young, like 21. hope u enjoyyyyyyyy ;)!

-

You woke up with a start. Your body jolted as you brain registered a shout somewhere in the room. You sucked in a breath, opening your eyes, only to close them again. You squinted, trying to orient yourself. You were in a hotel room, your brothers were the ones shouting.

You groaned at the realization, then let out a shout when you felt three small bodies land on top of you.

"Holy shit, get off of me!"

They immediately scrambled, most likely going to tell your mom you cursed in their presence. You loved your 3 baby siblings, but they were pains in your ass sometimes.

You heard a faint "she said shit mommy!" in the conjoining hotel room, and rolled your eyes. You sat in bed, stretching, grabbing your phone before grabbing your bag and locking yourself in the bathroom before your mom could scold you so your siblings shut up about it.

Today was the college football playoff championship, and it was safe to say your family members above the age of 8 were stressed. It was 8:11, and you had to be out the door by 9:50. You showered, drying your hair after and then starting to pick your outfit. You brought a lot of different gear, you had not clue what you wanted to wear to the game. You had so much Michigan gear, and even more maize and navy colored clothing, courtesy to your father.

After almost 30 minutes, you decided on a cute denim skirt, a maize long sleeve, and your navy Adidaas Handballs. You perfected your hair and makeup, successfully erasing any signs that you'd only been awake for about an hour.

You came out of the bathroom all put together, your bag and pajamas in hand. Your siblings were sitting on your bed, watching something on the TV. Since you guys had 6 people in your family, you'd gotten two hotel rooms with the connecting door in the middle. You slept in one room with your little sister on the other bed, and your parents and brothers slept in the other room. You walked through the connecting door, checking the time. 9:17.

Your mom was getting ready in the bathroom when you walked into it. You sat on the closed lid toilet and started talking to her about the plans for today.

"You really gotta stop cursing in front of the littles!"

Your mother scolded you, a grin wide on her face. She was joking, of course. You and your parents had always been close, you'd been their baby for the longest. You'd been with them since they were two just married 20 year olds in college. Not that you remembered it, but you were there for all of your dad's junior and senior year games when he played at MSJ. You'd been there through all the coaching jobs. From Cincinnati, to Georgia State, to the Baltimore Ravens, you'd been there through all of it.

You sat with your mom until it was time to go. Your dad corralled everyone together, taking a photo before you all headed to the elevator. When an elevator came, it opened up and there was barely any room unless your parents held two of your siblings, so you told them to go ahead and that you would wait for the next one.

You only waited about a minute before the doors slid open again, revealing none other than Colston Loveland. His eyes lit up, a grin shining on his beautiful face. You'd always had a weird little thing with Colston. No words were ever said about it, but there had always been a vibe between you.

Being the daughter of the defensive coordinator definitely drove a lot of the guys, even ones you had classes and other school related things with, far far away. The boys knew how protective their coach was of his family, and didn't want any bad blood on the team. Something about you just attracted Colston so heavily. He knew he shouldn't even think about it, but he never could help himself.

"Hey coach."

You rolled your eyes at him playfully as you stepped into the elevator. He always called you coach, he had to remind you he was one of your dad's players. You would've loved to forget that for two seconds.

"Hi Cole."

He could've died. You'd called him Cole, instead of Colston. It was the smallest, most insignificant little thing, but it made him melt.

"Where's your family at?"

You tilted your head towards him, he wanted to talk, okay. You smiled at him, he loved it.

"The other elevator was too full, some of the guys were on the way down too."

He nodded, the smirk never leaving his face. You thought about kissing it off of him, then realized you had just thought of kissing his smirk off of him. Shit. You were in deep with this kid, and there was little to no chance anything would ever happen.

The elevator reached the lobby, and Colston gestured for you to step out first. You exited the elevator, the boy hot on your tail. You were immediately greeted by a hallway packed full of Michigan players, coaches, families, and more.

You have Colston one last glance and smile before finding your mom, taking your baby brother out of her arms and into yours, playing with him. Colston's eyes followed you, he admired you as you smiled and laughed with your brother. You were perfect. He was gonna have to find a way to get around the fact that you were his coach's daughter.

You held your brother with one arm and your sisters hand with the other as you smiled at the cameras, walking through to the buses. Your family followed behind the rest of the coaches and families, the team trailing behind you.

The ride to NRG took longer than you assumed it would, almost an hour because of the traffic, and it didn't help that everyone could tell that the buses were transporting one of the CFP Championship teams in them.

Everyone went into the stadium together, through some backstage type area. You walked with the team until you had to go separate ways. You hugged your dad, squeezing him tight. You would see him again before the game, so you saved your 'Good luck, I love you Dad.' sentiment for then.

You'd always had a special connection with your dad, you were closer to him than almost anyone else. You were his baby, his first baby. Still, you were his baby in his eyes. Your dad would do anything for you, and he was quite protective. Though he was protective, all he wanted was for you to be happy, and if it meant dating one of his guys, he would have no problem with it.

Your family sat bored in the box of the stadium, looking down on the field as Washington practiced. There was over 6 more hours till the game started, and there was practically nothing to do.

You took a nap on the carpeted floor of the box with your siblings for a couple hours, your mother snapping photos that although you were embarrassed of, were undeniably cute. Once you guys had woken up, there was about 2 hours till game time. You voted with your family on whether you guys wanted to stay in the box, or sit way close to the field. You all wanted to be closer to the field, you wanted to see the action head on.

Your family departed the box, along with a few others to see the team one more time before the game. You got down onto the field in about 20 minutes, and stood with your dad for awhile. When you were being told it was time to go, you quickly hugged your dad.

"Good luck, I love you!"

He thanked you, saying the three words back as you guys waved at him, going to leave. Your eyes caught on a certain brunette as he ran off the field, his eyes finding you quickly. He smiled at you, ugh, that smile.

"Good luck, Cole!"

You smiled at him, right before you turned to go up the tunnel. More and more fans started to pour in as you got settled into your bleacher seats. You were three rows from the bottom with a perfect view of the field. You settled in as the national anthem ended and the game began.

As the game progressed, you were so happy to say that Michigan was winning, the entire time. You'd caught Colston's eyes multiple times during the game, letting it linger for a few seconds before giving him a stern look and gesturing towards the field. He'd mouth back, 'okay, coach.' and turn back around. Your mother caught the interaction once, her heart warming seeing her baby with a crush.

You stood up, your brother in your arms as you jumped up and down, shouting, Michigan had finally won! You cheered and danced around with your little siblings as you celebrated. You were all so insanely proud of your dad. Soon though, you were being escorted to the field, eager to see your father and congratulate him.

Blood was pumping and hearts were racing as you exited the tunnel, smiles burned onto your faces as you went to look for your dad. You held your sister's hand as you two ran around, trying to find him. Your mom shouted, and you turned to look at her. She pointed to your left, and there stood your dad, hugging one of his players. Your sister went back to your mom, to walk over to your dad with her as you all but sprinted over to your dad, weaving in between sweaty boys and families.

Your dad saw you incoming and held his arms out accepting your forceful hug. You both laughed, your dad squeezing you tightly. Your best friend had finally done it.

"Literally told you you would do it."

He laughed again, agreeing as he laid a kiss to your temple, pulling back with one arm to accept your other siblings into the hug, who'd finally made their way over. After a minute, you took your siblings from your dad so your mom could hug him, and kiss him, much to your brothers' disgust.

After talking with your dad for a little, you spotted a familiar 6'5 frame standing by himself as his teammates walked away from him. You sauntered over, shouting his name when you were in earshot. The brunette quickly turned around, the smile already gracing his face deepening.

"Well hi, coach."

"Congratulations, Cole. You know your catches were pretty legit."

You gave him a slightly impressed face, shrugging your shoulders. He laughed, rolling his eyes playfully.

"You can't win 'em all over, can you?"

You laughed in turn, stepping closer to him. Colston's heart was racing as he looked down into your eyes.

"But really, Cole, you were incredible, serious."

He nodded, accepting your praise with a grin, before he looked around, over-exaggerating a look of being in thought.

"You know, coach, I think I might just deserve a reward, for my quote incredible performance."

Your eyes widened, your heart starting off, faster and faster.

"Really? What might that entail, Cole?"

Shit, he was gonna have to kiss you if you kept calling him that. He was about to take the leap. He knew he had to at some point, and he was on an adrenaline rush, that just chanted at him to do it.

"Well I think it entails you accepting a date with me back in Michigan."

Your jaw dropped slightly, you were dumbfounded. Colston really wanted to go on a date with you?

"For real?"

Colston nodded, seemingly confident, though he was shaking in his boots on the inside.

"Well then, I think we can make that work."

Colston's heart erupted. He literally could not have been happier. He'd just won the Natty, and got his dream girl to agree to a date, holy fuck. You got nervous all of the sudden, leaning up to kiss his cheek, before turning to leave.

"Just text me, Cole!"

He nodded, his eyes following you as you went to go find your family again. His family came back over to him, they'd been gone for just a second but stopped and waited when they saw him talking to you. His family, especially his mom, knew quite a bit about you.

You found your family, immediately grabbing your moms hand to pull her a few steps away. You looked at her with the biggest eyes ever, still in shock over what had just happened.

"What's up, sweetheart? Why are you all, thousand yard stare-y?"

"Mom Colston just asked me out, and I said yes! And then I kissed his cheek! And then I left!"

Your mom laughed, her baby was finally growing up. You'd had a few boyfriends in all your days, but you'd never been proper crushing like you were right now.

"That's so good! I knew this was coming, we just had to wait for one of you to get the courage."

You blushed, hiding your face in your hands. Your smile suddenly dropped, a realization coming to you.

"Is dad gonna hate me?"

"Why would I hate you?"

Shit.

You ended up telling your dad later on in the night, when you were tired and sitting in the back of a restaurant the team was celebrating in. Your family didn't party for too long, having a 4, 7, and 8 year old didn't exactly allow you guys to stay out for too long. Even your parents 19 year old daughter got a bit cranky if she stayed out too late.

When you told your dad, he just laughed. He knew you and Colston had things for each other, he was waiting for the tight end to make a move.

-

You were stressing. Tonight was your date with Colston. You sat at your vanity, ranting to your roommate over it. You put on makeup and did your hair, wanting to look cute but not over the top.

Colston had told you to wear comfy clothes, so you were in one of your most common outfits. Leggings and a Michigan sweatshirt. You stared at yourself in the mirror, doubting yourself. You had known Colston for over a year, almost two, but you didn't really know him that well. You wanted him to like you so badly.

"Babe, you look fantastic. He's going to stare at you all night."

You sighed at your roommate's encouragement. But before you could respond, you got a text from Colston. He was outside your dorm building. Your roommate pushed you straight out the door, saying bye.

You went down the stairs quickly, making your way out of the complex. You saw Colston as you opened the door, slipping out. He looked up and smiled at you, his stupid beautiful smile.

"Hey, Gorgeous."

You felt the heat on your face even in the Ann Arbor cold. You smiled, shaking your head as you gave him a spin, showing off your extra casual outfit.

"Even in this ensemble?"

He nodded, his smile deepening. He pulled you into his side, hugging you. You were immediately enveloped in his warmth. You ducked your head down to hide the shock in your eyes. He smelled really good.

When you pulled away Colston led you to his car, opening the door for you before going around and getting in. You two buckled up before Colston pulled out of the parking spot, setting off into Ann Arbor. He gave you the aux, warming your heart. You both knew he probably didn't listen to the same music as you, but he wanted you to listen to whatever you liked.

Smaller Acts by Zach Bryan came on when you hit shuffle on your main playlist, making you smile. You resonated with the song, always having thought that smaller acts of love were more important than any grand gestures. You got to really look at Colston while he drove. He kept his eyes right on the road always, until you got to a red light, that's when you'd jerk your head back forward as he turned to look at you. He was really pretty, his jaw was so insanely defined, he had a strong neck, and the deepest brown eyes. You stared at the tattoo on his left forearm, he was hot, to put it simply.

You drove for around 40 minutes before the car slowed, pulling onto a gravel driveway. You looked out of your window, seeing a large screen and projector, and lots of cars. He had brought you to a drive in movie. You could've cried when you saw the sign reading the movie you would be seeing. Ocean's 11. The very first time you ever talked to Colston, he'd asked you your favorite movie. You said you couldn't pick one, then settled on Ocean's 11 because it was one you'd seen so many times you could quote any scene.

You couldn't believe he remembered. You'd never mentioned it since then. That was the kind of smaller, seemingly insignificant thing that meant the world to you. You jerked your head to the left, staring at Colston with wide eyes. He was dealing with the tickets for a few seconds before you pulled into a spot, then he finally looked to you.

"Cole, I cannot believe that you remembered."

Colston smiled, and on the inside he was celebrating that you loved it. What he hadn't expected though was you leaning over the console and hugging him. It was honestly the sweetest thing any guy had ever done for you, you were beyond grateful for this boy, and it was your first date.

"This is the sweetest thing a guy's ever done for me, I'm being serious."

Though you were mostly saying that about the fact that he'd remembered, the date itself was also amazing. Colston knew you enough to know that you'd have preferred this over any fancy restaurant, and that meant a lot.

"It's the least I could do, coach. You mean something to me, 'm gonna take care of you."

You just squirmed in your seat, getting more comfortable and smiling as you looked ahead of you. You wordlessly reached over and slipped your hand into his, pulling them into your lap.

Colston was so happy he could've gotten out of the car and started dancing. He acted as cool as he could on the outside. You two settled in as the movie began.

At some point, Colston had reached back into the backseat and grabbed a blanket that he tossed into your lap, and a bag of food and snacks.

You traced your free hand over Colston's tattoo, admiring the line work and shading. The movie ended, and Colston's hand stayed with you as you two began the drive back. You fell asleep on the drive, your head leaning against Colston's arm.

You woke up slowly about 5 minutes out from school. You kept your head on Colston's arm, but allowed yourself to carelessly stare at him in your tired state. At a stoplight, he turned to look at you, smiling deeply when his eyes met your sleepy ones.

"Hey, coach. Nap good?"

You smiled and nodded, yawning at him. He laughed lowly, turning his head back when the light went green. You parked outside your building, dampening your heart. The night had been perfect. You sleepily got out of Colston's car, after he told you to not dare opening your own door. He walked you up to the entrance with his hand on your back, rubbing his fingers back and forth lightly.

When you got to the door you stopped and turned around, wrapping your arms around his middle.

"Thank you so much Colston. This was like, the best date I think ever."

He smiled, hugging you tightly. Colston had the best time, obviously you were gorgeous, but getting to talk to you one-on-one without interruptions was his idea of a good time. His insides melted whenever you fell asleep, and before then, he could've swore he was in love while you traced over his tattoo.

You pulled away from him, looking at the boy through heavy eyes. He looked absolutely handsome in the dim lighting of a street lamp. You put your hands on his shoulders, leaning up and kissing him. You probably wouldn't have if your drowzy mind hadn't commanded you to. Obviously you wanted to, but you weren't sure if it was 100% mutual yet, but it was.

Colston's hands went to hold the back of your head, his hands in your hair. He kept the kiss shorter than you would've liked, knowing you were tired.

You looked up at him with stars in your eyes, a smiling fighting its way onto you face. Colston's hands shifted from your hair to your jaw, rubbing his thumb over your cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow baby."

Your blown out eyes widened at the name, your heart clenching in your chest. Colston saw the reaction, his lips quirking up the slightest bit.

"I'll see you, Loveland."

You let go of him, turning towards the door. You paused for a second, quickly turning back around and kissing Colston again. Colston's hands grabbed at your hips, pulling you closer. Colston smiled brightly into the kiss, giggling to himself.

You pulled away from him, a grin falling to your face.

"You ever gonna let me leave, coach?"

"Thinkin' about it."

"You get inside, gorgeous. It's too cold for you to be out here."

You smiled, nodding at him, letting go of him for the last time.

"You gotta go too, off season just started. You gotta stay on your A-Game Loveland."

He laughed at you, shaking his head as he watched you walk into the dorm complex, turning the corner and out of his sight. You ran back up the stairs and to your room, squealing like a 13 year old as you described your date to your roommate.

Colston sat in his car, texting his mom that everything went well. When he put his phone away, he finally let himself think that you were the girl he'd want to be with forever. It was finally real. The boy just had to be patient.

[tuulikannel]

So so so... I'm sick, and for whatever reason my brain decided that this is a good time to start writing an amnesiac Asano fic. I've so many other fics in the works that I don't know if I'll ever continue this, which is why I decided to post it here before it gets buried and forgotten in the depths of my computer. Mainly I just had this one scene in my mind, and wanted to use this chance to have Shuu say something to his father.

But yeah. Here's a little untitled fic snippet for you, about 1000 words.

One cold December morning a boy woke up. He was lying on his back in a bed, and he remained there a good while, absolutely still, staring at the ceiling. Gradually, the frown on his face deepened.

Where… was he?

He sat up, looking at the room. A desk with schoolbooks on it, a bag on the floor, clothes set ready on a chair… were those his clothes? He touched them, hesitantly. There was something familiar about them, true…

Still confused, he decided to dress up. Whatever was going on, better not to face it in the pyjamas.

He gave the desk with the books one more glance and slipped quietly out of the room. The empty corridor behind the door was quiet and gloomy. He swallowed and started walking it down, instinctively stepping as quietly as he could. He took careful peeks into the rooms he passed, but there was nothing familiar in them, nothing to solve this mystery.

Ah, a toilet. That might be a good idea, no matter what was going on.

As he was washing his hands, his eyes fell on himself in the mirror, and he paused. Wait, was that what he looked like? Strawberry blond hair, violet eyes… He blinked, touching his cheek. Yeah. That was him.

Him…

He… who was he?

“My name is,” he started to say to his mirror image, but no name came to his tongue. “My name is,” he repeated more strongly, but to no avail. Nothing. His mind was empty.

His heartbeat sped up as he stared at himself, trying fervently to think. Who was he? Where did he come from? What did he do, what did he like?

He didn’t have a clue.

Also… what was this place he was in? His home? That would make sense, but… he pushed the toilet door open and shot a careful glance around.

This didn’t feel like home.

He didn’t know where he was, but he did know that he wanted to get out of there.

He came down the stairs, making his way slowly through the house, trying to spot a single detail that would seem familiar. Nothing. Step by step his nervousness rose, and he could feel his breath getting caught in his throat.

In the kitchen, there was a man sitting by a table, drinking coffee while reading something on his laptop. The boy paused at the doorway, wondering if he shouldn’t just go on, but the man had already noticed him. He gave the boy a curt glance.

“Sleeping late today, Asano-kun?” he said.

The boy blinked. “Asano… kun? Is that my name?”

The man lowered his coffee mug to the table, frowning at him.

“Is this some kind of a joke? Or are you implying you’re going to leave the family and pick a different name? Well, you’re free to do that once you’re an adult. For now, as long as you live in this house, you are still Asano Gakushuu.”

There was a long silence as the two stared at each other. The frown on the man’s face deepened as he looked into the boy’s eyes that reflected nothing but honest confusion.

“What are…?” he started to say, but the boy shook fervently his head.

“Are you serious? That’s my name? What the hell… why am I called ‘study’?”

“It’s written with the kanji for learning and excellence, you know,” the man started to explain, his tone hesitant, but the boy (Gakushuu? What the hell! He would not be called that) cut him off again.

“If that really is my name, I think I am gonna change it! It’s ridiculous!”

He was growing increasingly agitated. What was going on here? Was he caught in some strange nightmare? This house that made him so nervous, not to talk about this man… and that ridiculous name. This couldn’t be real.

“I’m dreaming,” he muttered, squeezing his eyes shut. “This got to be a dream…”

A chair scraped against the floor as the man stood up. “Are you truly trying to say you can’t remember anything? Gakushuu?” A hand touched his forehead and he instinctively drew back. Opening his eyes, he found himself staring straight into the man’s. That unblinking, piercing stare made him feel cold inside, and he took another step back.

“Or is this some plot of yours?” the man went on, but he couldn’t really pay attention to what he was saying. Being so close to this man… made him even more nervous than this house. “What are you planning to accomplish? Amnesia is a serious matter, not something to joke about!”

“Who the hell are you, anyway?” the boy spat out, ignoring everything he had said.

The man paused. As he stared at the boy in front of him, the sterness on his face gave way to hesitation. “I… I’m your father,” he said then.

“No.” The boy denied it firmly, unhesitatingly, without even pausing to think about it. “No, you… you can’t be.”

“But…” Now the man seemed to be at a loss. Something about that amused the boy, but even so, he couldn’t help being on his guard. This man was dangerous. He knew that much.

“But,” the man repeated and swallowed. “If you don’t remember, how could you know…?”

“It doesn’t feel right,” he said. “I just can’t… can’t believe that you…” He shook his head. “There’s no way that’d be true. You’re not my father. Can’t be. You’re someone… I...” detest, he was about to say, but his voice trailed off. Was it a good idea to antagonize this man?

The man stared at him long and hard, his face utterly unreadable. “Wait here,” he muttered then. “Wait. I… I need to make a phone call.” He left the kitchen, fishing out a phone from his pocket.

The boy waited a moment, tiptoed then out and peeking into the living room, saw him standing by the window, talking with someone on the phone. Good. This was his chance.

Moving as quietly as he could he headed to the front door, put on shoes (interesting that there were clearly several shoes that could be his), grasped a coat and slipped out.

Leaving the house behind he finally felt like he could breathe again.

(tbc??? who knows, if I get inspiration)

(eta: check the reblogs for Toufu's art! ^^)

[ace7librarian]

A little late for Holocaust memorial day, but I think I want to share my family story here. It's pretty long, but I'll appreciate it if my goy mutuals could give it a look. Maybe it will help some goyim understand how ingrained the trauma is in the Jewish brain.

Little backstory about my family: I was born from a sperm donation, so my family has only one side- my mother's. If I had two parents, it would be double the amount of grandparents. Now I have just my grandpa and grandma, my mother's parents, and both of their parents are holocaust survivors. Just a heads up: I might be wrong about some stuff.

I'll start with my grandpa, because his parents didn't talk much about the Holocaust, since they were too traumatised. They were called Israel and Lea. Israel was born in Poland, and all we know about his history is that he had about seven sisters who were all murdered. Only he and two of his siblings survived. He blamed himself for the death of his family, and according to my mother, the only reason he didn't commit suicide was his religion. Lea was born in Germany, probably in Berlin, to a rich family. Her father was a very respected rabbi. when the war started, her brother Izzy escaped with all their money, leaving lea to watch her siblings get murdered. Lea, her father and her fiance (?) Were held in a concentration camp in Siberia (?), where lea left her fiance, who didn't want to take care of her father. Lea and Israel met there, and Israel did try to help Lea's father, but he still died, because he was a rabbi wbd that's the Holocaust. Israel and Lea survived and got married for comfort reasons, and decided to move to Israel, because Lea's brother izzy was there. Izzy did not give his sister any money or help, but she stayed close to him, because he was all the family she had. They managed to make a living, but they were never happy. Not even with their family. they didn't even have the strength to pretend, for their kids. They were kind and loving, but they were both shells of themselves.

My grandma's parents had it rough as well, of course, but they expressed it differently. Maybe it's because they were younger while it happened, maybe it's just a personality difference. Their names were Yehuda and Sarah, abd they talked a lot about their experiences. They had a small book made for the family with their stories, and Sarah was regularly going to schools and other events to teach about the Holocaust. Yehuda was born in Hungary, and since he was 3 he carried weapons to protect himself against antisemites in the streets. He was very lucky - only his father was burned alive, his mother and sister survived in a ghetto the whole holocaust, and he snuck into a train and escaped. It did leave him fairly traumatised. My grandma jokes that her father escaped, so he was afraid of everything ever since (got my anxiety from him), and her mother didn't, so she was afraid of nothing. Sarah was born in Slovakia, and I know about her the most, since she passed away just a few years ago. Her father didn't have Hungarian citizenship, so he was taken by the Nazis first. So when Jews who escaped Poland came to hide in their house, Sarah's mother believed the horrors they told about, since she hasn't heard from her husband in months. Eventually, the nazis found them as well. Sarah was pushed to the group of the older kids by her mother, who was murdered later that day in the gas chambers with the two youngest siblings, who were 12 and 7. Sarah and her 3 siblings who survived were moved from camp to camp. They have many stories about those horrible years- from having women they knew from town as their prison guards, to getting a comfortable position as the toilet cleaner, to Sarah's brother showing his ass to a nazi and getting out alive, and getting experimented on by Mengele. Eventually they were freed by the British, but Sarah's sister Golda got terminally ill at a death march and died just after being free at last, at age 19. The three surviving siblings moved to Israel (not before getting arrested and spending some time in a camp in Cyprus), where Sarah and Yehuda met. After the war, Yehuda's mother remarried, which gave him a step sibling. His step brother married and had a child, but he gave his daughter Maya to Yehuda, since his wife was sick. I only recently learned that the sickness was trauma and depression, and Maya's mother killed herself when maya was just a child. Now Sarah and Yehuda had two children, my grandma and Maya. Despite everything, they were very positive and determined to make the most out of life, for their family and friends who couldn't.

I remember grandma Sarah always says, that her biggest revenge on the Nazis was surviving and making a family. I miss her. She was an excellent cook. She never threw away a scrap- in the Holocaust she and her siblings survived on a single loaf of bread, so who is going to dare wasting food? I used to love tracing the number tattooed on her arm with my finger when I was a child. I don't remember a time not knowing how it got there. I don't remember a time not knowing my grandparents didn't have grandparents. I do remember my first time seeing a picture of Hitler though- it was in class. I heard so much about this monster, I felt pretty disappointed seeing him. Like he should have horns or something.

The Holocaust is not just a historical event for me. It's in every recipe my mother learned from Sarah, in every joke my uncle learned from Sarah's brother, in the necklace my grandma got from Lea, every time Maya visits. I wasn't surprised to find out other Jews have nightmares about the Holocaust. I was surprised when I realised goyim don't have that- they weren't born with thousands of years of being chased inside of them. They don't have the fear of their ancestors running in their veins. Honestly, what are they even talking about with their friends? Because in my case, it always comes back to our Jewish trauma. Many Jews weren't in the Holocaust, and they are still burdened by insane trauma. Even if some aren't aware of it, I think that our generational trauma effects everything we do. No matter where I go or what I do, I'll still imagine good places to hide. I'll still have a nightmare about Nazis every once in a while. I'll wonder if the goy being so nice to me would hide me if I was in danger.

Never again.

[50sreboot]

So.....I was at a party last night. I met a woman who was VERY pregnant. For story sake we will call her Jill. We chatted off and on. I went out to the patio. Jill was over by the BBQ (it was not in use). I saw she was kinda bent over. She stood and looked at me and kinda smiled. "You like coke? Wanna line?", as she was clearing her nose. I was taken back a bit. A pregnant woman tooting lines. I rolled with it. I mean how many times do you see pregnant women smoking? I don't judge. I smiled and pulled out Clyde. Clyde is my bullet. Named so because he is orange. I grew up in the 80s - think Pac Man. She looked then kinda laughed. "No wonder we clicked" I took a run up both nostrils and we just stood there and enjoyed the silence away from the party for a few. Then shit got real. She came up to me later "I have an indecent proposal- wanna do a line off my belly?" I wasn't sure I heard her right. I have done lines off breasts, ass cheeks, thighs, vulva, necks, shoulders, but this was something different. My hesitation as I tried to make sure I heard her correctly was too long not to be noticed. She kinda withdrew a second. "I am sorry. Was I too direct? Too forward? I thought I had read you well enough?" I responded with the only 2 words I could manage "Why me?" She said she was curious about the experience, there was no longer a man in her life, and she felt like I could do it without making it weird for her." I said "I feel there was a compliment in there. OK. You pouring or am I?" , half joking. "Of course it's my treat. I asked" Put me in coach! So we went to the bathroom. She sat on the edge of the tub. I sat on the toilet and she put down big fucking lined. I thought fuck - I am gonna go blind or collapse on her, knock her into the tub fall on top of her and she is gonna go into labor. Deep breathe, exhale, and fire in the hole. Over the course of the night I learned she was into some kinky shit and I swear I heard a faint moan while I snorted line 2. And holy shit. I can't put words to what I felt. It was intense and her shit was good. I looked at her. My brain was forming sentences but they never were spoken. And the best I came up with was Did I do that good. The confusion of not hearing myself speak made her smile. "You just sit back and enjoy that a couple minutes. I will make sure you come back in one piece. So kink, or fetish, or whatever that was, it happened. Thanks Jill!

[imraespace]

CHAPTER 13: BEACH DAY 1

ARRIVAL.

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JUST THE WAY THINGS GO || MEGUMI X READER

It was around 8A.M. when your aunt break you out of your dreamland.

Only because, the discussion she had with Gojo was actually him inviting us out to a beach day with himself and Geto, along with Nobara, Megumi and Yuji. I was given the option to invite my own friends and that is what I did.

So here we are, standing by the school waiting for the others: The one who actually planned it, Gojo, and Geto.

Though, your friends were mumbling something behind you, but you didn't really focused on them.

"Why are we even waiting here?" Inumaki asked.

"No clue. But this is your chance to do what you failed to do on Friday." Maki joked.

The thing that he failed to do was obtain Mahito's student file. He couldn't find it in the office.

"How am I suppose to do that if I didn't find it the last time?" He rose his eyebrows at the girl.

"Did you forgot what happened when we first sneaked in the principal?" She argued back.

"Yes."

Yuuta sighed at the the duo then entered the conversation himself.

"Y/N came in for some student files for her aunt, maybe she accidentally took Mahito's file, since he's no longer in the school her aunt have no use for it." He simply said.

Just then Inumaki's brain cells started to work.

They all stared at each other for a while then a smirk grew on his face.

"Are you really gonna-"

"Miss Shoko can I enter the school I need to pee!" He blankly said.

Ieiri turned around and stared at the boy for a while then gave him to green sign to go.

It wasn't really sneaking, since there's no one around yet every corner he turned, he poked his head our expecting to see a person.

Finally! He made it to the nurse's office, then remembered it will be locked. The office option he had was climb through the window, that's always opened for some reason.

So he climbed through and started searching for the files!

Touching things he has never seen before, looking in odd places hoping to find it until he finally checked the desk and found a couple of files there.

Then he found it, Mahito's file with his student picture on it. Inumaki did a mini victory dance, snapped some photos and was about to.leave when he heard the noise of clicking.

During his victory dance, he failed to notice the footsteps growing louder towards him. Of course he ran and hide under the desk, staring at the floor to make out who it is that entered the office.

Then he noticed your feet. You're in the office?

He saw you walked closer towards the desk and heard some files shuffling on the table. You stopped for a while and was about to walk away but suddenly peaked under the desk, scaring the shit out of the boy.

"Y/N! Funny seeing you here right!!?" He laughed.

You on the other hand rolled your eyes and walked off.

I have no clue what you're doing here but I saw you through the window, next time don't get caught.." You mumbled as your friend came out from hiding, running up behind you.

"I fell inside here on my way towards the bathroom." He randomly said causing you to sigh.

"Atleast make them believable.."

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On your way out of the school with Inumaki following behind, you saw that your aunt and friends weren't alone anymore.

"Finally you're back! Did you both fall in the toilet or something!!?" Gojo joked, laughing at his own joke..

They all stared at the man for a while until Ieiri spoke up.

"Let's just get going.." She plainly said.

This beach day sounds fun but thing you forgot is that, you're gonna be with Megumi for a day. Not that you don't mind is that he certainly do and he makes it very clearly that it does.

But besides that, the small crew that was formed all sat in the back and began discussing something.

"I got the pictures." Inumaki said. They all nodded.

"Mahito.. He looks scary." Nobara started.

They all looked at the file, then at Yuuta.

"What?" He asked.

"You always know something so..?" Yuji asked.

Yuuta sighed.

But before he could discuss with them the car came to a stop.

"Time to get out kids!" Gojo sang as he came out.

We all looked at each other then left.

That is until Yuji, who was the last one to leave made out something in the corner of his eye.

His face lit up in surprise as he ran to Nobara and began pointing at someone.

She as well, was surprised.

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note: who was it!!? find out next time!!

[iersei]

HELLO this event actively rotted my brain and i just wanted to chime in with some other smaller details that i've been rotating in the mind soup !!

-the san diego show was the only one that got the sex sounds from glenn's soundboard <3

-the dads wake up in a play pen to see 8-year-old paeden in a straitjacket. paeden was not actually turned into a baby for the first part. he didn't want to be affected by tilt's spell because he considered himself plenty strong as is.

-as he is the oldest and more verbose there, paeden has to translate henry's googoos and gagagas to tilt. he chooses to translate henry's "i'm very upset by this situation and would like you to help us fix this" (paraphrased) as "go fuck yourself".

-tilt reacts to this by trying to grab paeden, something that darryl and glenn succeed in stopping. during this, henry transforms into a baby bat (because baby henry can only wildshape into baby animals) in the hopes that, if tilt can't understand baby noises, perhaps she will understand bat noises. she cannot.

-tilt swats at henry for bat screeching into her ear, tossing him into a door. the door opens a little to reveal a scene from a movie (?), to which baby bat henry slowly closes the door. (this moment is a reference to muppet babies, which is what the daddy babies name for the oneshot came from.

-when tilt leaves to go to make applesauce, henry gets the rest of the baby dads out of the playpen and decides to briefly batatouille paeden. (will first tried to take a long rest to get another shot at wildshape to ratatouille paeden, which made the whole cast take a tangent into the validity of bat hands.)

-inside the playpen, glenn is trying to shove a circle peg into a square hole and ron is teething on some chewable toy keys (keys that do not work to open the door, they tried). ron then says that he is always teething. because, like a shark, he has multiple rows of teeth as an adult. which i think is just hyperdontia.

-as the cast planned to create the fake baby dolls choking inside the plastic bag, the crowd was very upset at the prospect. causing the cast to yell back that they were just playing the game and being strategic about it lol

-beth's horrible baby crying sounds were because her initial roll for tricking tilt was low. but after a beautiful rendition of "wheels on the bus" (which she forget the last bit of lyrics to) using her polyphonic singing, she got a second roll which she did succeed at.

-when they are in combat, ron is at the top of the initiative order but chooses to hold to his turn. while glenn is using illusory mind prison and henry is casting stone wall, darryl is using his three attacks to bite tilt's ankles. he uses his first attack to bite one ankle, the second to bite her other ankle, and his last attack to bite her other ankle.

-once they are out of combat, ron chooses to take his turn to spit and to say that his work here is done.

-to get the key from tilt, henry successfully intimidates her into revealing the key's location by threatening to use his diaper full of stinky baby vegan poop on her.

-darryl also tried to intimidate tilt using this method but fails the intimidation check. matt asks for advantage, and anthony tells him only if he takes his pants off live on stage. matt refuses because "God is watching".

-i just wanted to mention that the water that henry tries to impromptu baptize darryl with was toilet water that henry was using shape water on.

-in the teen section, scary is scribbling poetry about teen henry all over ron's math homework.

-NORMAL. GOES. APESHIT.

-it was already said but it bears repeating.

-when normal grabs the crossbow and threatens tilt, he has to roll to see if she believes him because "nobody believes them when teenagers are upset". (a choice that the crowd had A Reaction to, causing anthony to say "oh so it was just me then?" and he was right ngl)

-normal's first roll was a 3. but will got to use advantage from an earlier dad joke. to get another 3.

-to which the crowd collectively started clapping and chanting IN-SPI-RA-TION in a way akin to a pep rally/sports game cheer to give our school spirit kid another shot.

-he rolled a 6.

-while normal was going for the crossbow, glenn and taylor got into a loud anime-related argument. one that was loud as a distraction, "but the argument was real".

-the detention room was room number 069.

-meaning it was on the first floor and was why glenn and taylor thought throwing a desk through the window was a valid way to escape.

-when only one of the guards fall for ron's slip and slide trick, he tries to trick the other guard and tilt by spitting on his drawing to create the illusion of water on the slide. this does not work.

-the guards do get brutally torn to shreds when they eventually go through the window.

-paeden does age into a teenager when they go through the first door along with the dads. before they leave, darryl remarks that it's a shame that paeden is never going to actually grow up into a teenager </3

okay since they said that the san diego show is gonna be the only one Not recorded, i'll do my best to summarize the show for y'all!!!

-glenn's dad fact: the glenn close trio instagram (? i think?) is full of pictures of glenn standing next to a picture of the real glenn close

-darryl's dad fact: he and carol go to san diego very frequently because darryl likes the breweries and carol likes surfing! they have not "had sex" there once, but they HAVE made love (statements that made me cringe out loud)

-henry's dad fact: he and mercedes make a fake san diego burrito for themselves and the twins. it sounds awful.

-ron's dad fact: he thinks san diego is a type of eggo waffle

-the prompt that we rolled was called DADDY BABIES. the plotline? the dads (and paeden) went to the dimensional witch tilt toblerona to ask her to give them the strength of their youth back so they could find their kids. instead, tilt turned them into babies.

-the dads still have all of their memories of who they are as people and they can talk to themselves and to paeden (tilt does not understand them though, tilt only hears baby noises) but physically Being a baby affects their mental state just a bit

-ron wanted to stay a baby forever. henry tried to explain the concept of ageplay to him, darryl got confused thinking that ron just wanted to HAVE a baby like with samantha, henry had to explain fetishes

-during the baby section, henry is the most "adult" and ends up having to corral the others. darryl is a close second, but glenn and ron both Suffer Immensely

-while tilt is making. applesauce? the babies scheme on how to escape, involving an elaborate scheme in which henry uses mold earth on playdoh to make fake versions of themselves blue in the face and choking in a plastic bag and ron throwing his voice to sound like a baby crying. beth made the worst fake crying noise ever but then also gave us an INSANE dolphin noise when anthony called her out on it

-(also the dads had to roll object permanence to see if they thought tilt was gone forever when she was out of their line of sight. glenn failed this check very badly. darryl even played peekaboo with him to demonstrate object permanence and it failed. anthony made a horrible horrible joke that glenn's not a bad parent he just has bad object permanence even when it comes to nick)

-somehow this works? they trap tilt toblerona (glenn using illusory mind prison to make tilt think SHES the one choking on a plastic bag, henry casting stone wall on her to build a lego wall around her and effectively cask of amontillado-ing her) and then wander around the house looking for a way out.

-they realize they need tilt's key to escape, but first they watch an episode of bluey! henry is the only one who saved on a roll to Not be sucked into watching bluey and ends up unplugging the TV and going on a tangent about how screentime is bad

-(which is really fucking funny because he very explicitly says "lark and sparrow are well behaved because we set boundaries and have them play outside instead of using screens" and we all know how lark and sparrow are like. not???? not well behaved. henry im so sorry to break this to you but they are not well behaved-)

-anyways they get back to tilt, find and steal her key, and then open the door, promptly getting sucked through dimensions

-(darryl thinks for a second that he's in the rapture and tries to baptize himself in case his baby form isn't baptized. henry tries to help but goes on another tangent and they miss the opportunity)

-when they awaken, they find themselves now as teenagers in a classroom! and they see a GOTH PUNK SEEKER OF DARKNESS (phrases that made the entire crowd erupt in screaming, myself included)

-this time, darryl is the most stable of the dads! glenn coming in second, and then ron and henry were both. very teenager.

-darryl immediately offers to play ball with link. link is interested but ultimately gets shot down by tilt, who explains that they are in interdimensional detention forever

-glenn and taylor immediately bond over how cool they are

-scary asks ron if she can copy his math homework because he seems smart with a tie. ron agrees to let her but is very nervous about it (we later find out this is because he is not very good at math)

-teenage henry is a fucking delight yall. he sits there staring out the window at the trees and writing poetry (with long hair! long hair teenage hen is real!!!) about the trees and enjoying nature

-scary has to roll not to fall in love with him the second she finds out that he writes poetry (she fails)

-normal tries to bond with his grandfather. henry brushes him off entirely. its heartbreaking and also hilariously funny

-normal goes fucking apeshit yall. he gets so fed up of henry ignoring him and the others not talking to him and being trapped in this small room that he takes a crossbow and threatens tilt with it. she calls his bluff and he SHOOTS HER?

-at least, he tries. she catches the bolt and then tells him that if he's serious he needs to actually stab the bolt into her heart himself. he does. he's unhinged.

-tilt tries to explain her entire sob story backstory. darryl interrupts to boo her and call her a loser.

-glenn and taylor throw a desk out of the window to break it open. going out the window Will Kill You.

-ron paints the window like a slip and slide to try and trick tilt into going into it. it doesn't work. however two guards come in and it DOES work on one of the guards

-the other guard eventually gets physically thrown out of the window by taylor, who proudly declares that this will not affect him at all

-henry goes to talk to scary. scary gets excited, but then henry just asks if she thinks that teen darryl would go out with henry because even though he's "not henry's type", something about him is captivating. scary is heartbroken.

-darryl overhears this and rejects henry on the basis of him still dating carol! but offers to set henry up with carol's friends.

-glenn and taylor use awful fireworks to blind tilt, the other guard (that taylor kills), and normal since he was in range.

-scary tries to be bitter and calls henry out for being blind, but henry wasn't hit with the spell and immediately says some fakedeep shit about seeing more than most people do. it is insanely funny i cannot stress how funny teenage henry is

-link is now convinced that public schools were a mistake and he needs to leave Right Now. he rolls a nat 20 on taking the key, but uses it for himself to fucking dip. he just ditches them. he bolts for it. normal even tries to give him a high five and link completely goes NOPE.

-when nobody else has another form of escape, henry takes out his sketchbook? that apparently he always has as a teen? and uses summon creature to draw a boar and bring it to life. the boar smashes through the door and now they are saved!

-it is here that it is revealed this was all a dream but specifically a dream set pre-canon. darryl makes a comment about link being a narc. glenn tells taylor to never change because he's perfect exactly the way he is. scary tells ron that he sucks at math (and ron is very confused about scary's existence he doesn't know who she is).

-HENRY. tells normal to be the best version of himself. AND TO HELP HIM WITH THAT. he draws. TEENY. TO GIVE TO NORMAL AND INSPIRE HIM TO BE HIS BEST SELF. and that is how normal came up with teeny the teen as the mascot of teen high

-it was such a fun show, i'm so glad i got to attend! shame that it isn't being recorded

[katielovably]

In the end ofFebruary I got Bean ( I post enough pictures of my beloved kitty) before that I had told my brother I had messaged the man "selling" her (she was free and came with a little cat tower which she loves. Anyway, he said (like he was my dad instead of my two year younger brother) fine but your taking care of her.

We get her (two or three hour drive maybe more because we didn't know where we were going) and I apologized and almost had so many panicking moments until we let her out and I held her. I loved her since.

But like a week or two after getting her our septic acted up. My brother turned to me and asked "did you put Bean's poo down the toilet." Back story my first year after I graduated I had a kitten named LB. She was my first indoor cat (growing up on a farm we had barn cats or cats my mom would let in) and one day while I was scooping out the litter, my fresh out of high-speed brain was like "hey , my poop and pee can go in the toilet why can't LB's" so I put LB's poo and pee in the toilet... then something went wrong with septic and my dad came over to see what was going on ether I told him or he asked I don't remember. But I told him, what I been doing. He said don't do that then why. I was like ok and never done it again. Now it apparently a running joke that ether my dad or middle brother run whenever I have to take care of a cat.

My brother asked me many times if I had put cat poop down the toilet how many times. And one time my nana asked if I gave Bean milk. Anwser for both Common sense, NO! I'm not stupid! I'm fucking 26. I'm an adult. Not a fucking child. "Jokes like this that keeps bringing up something long forgotten and makes the person look stupid need to burn. Because it hurts. It's infuriating. It's embarrassing. I was fucking 18 or 19. It's called learning from mistakes. Yes, I made a mistake doesn't mean you have to keep bringing it up. Because I don't do it to everyone in family.

[dukewilbury]

Drinking Alcoholics Under the Table

I was tailored made for alcoholism. My genetic makeup includes nearly all of the heavy-hitting drinking cultures - Russian, German, English, Scottish, American Indian. I have an alcohol tolerance reserved for Irish dockworkers. This is dangerous for a person with my brain. Addictive personalities rarely manifest themselves with sound financial planning and physical fitness. Instead, I got hooked on cigarettes and strong drink. Also self-destructive patterns of behavior, self-loathing, and anger. You know, the classics. Factor in that profound Catholic and Jewish guilt and you get a tattooed Sailor crawling across his bathroom floor at the 3 in the morning during the working week praying for his own death in between trips to the toilet bowl.

I know all the clichés and shitty jokes about drinking and alcohol. I know all the synonyms for drunk. I know how to make it, drink it, use and abuse it. I know every culture that has ever existed on this planet has figured out a way to intoxicate itself. Which makes sense when you think about it. The world is a better place with a drink in you. Jokes are funnier, music is better, and life isn't so rough. So yes, people get drunk. Even Muslims, who don't drink alcohol, often drink fermented honey. Intoxication, in one form or another, is global.

I started drinking in earnest because I had no idea who I was when I took my uniform off after work. That isn't an exaggeration. I never cultivated serious hobbies that I couldn't drink while pursuing. I never had a family of my own that required my full-time attention. I was a playboy. Utterly. Everyone who really knows me knows this is true. With no interests that don't include drinking, no sense of self, and an addictive personality, I was as sure of needing treatment as the Cleveland Browns are of missing the playoffs.

I drank everything... I once dehydrated myself so badly that after drinking three quarts of water I took a piss for the first time that day, five hours after I woke up, and it came out like rust. I once threw up at a stop sign on the way to work. I once threw up walking down the pier to my ship... at 6:30 in the morning. I've woken up in strange bedrooms, confused, and looking for the cat that shit in my mouth during the night. I've lied about my drinking and hid it. I got away with it for so long on active duty because I'm somewhat charming and on good days I'm kind of funny. People let things go more easily when you do that. Was I ever an alcoholic? I don't know, but I know I could sit at a table full of alcoholics and drink them under the table.

I learned a lot on the way to the wacko basket. I learned more in it and afterward. I learned I didn't have a problem; I had a solution I didn't like. I had to get honest with myself and that's a brutal conversation to have. I also learned I had my entire chain of command in my corner. That, more than anything, is the most important part of this piece. I know a lot of you reading this are on active duty, and I know a lot of you are scared about seeking help. So let me kick you the real deal for a bit.

After I admitted I was suicidal, and I got help for my whole host of issues, I never, NEVER, not once, got hit for my problem. I never took so much as a counseling chit for getting help. My evaluations made no mention of treatment. What I did get was 30 grand worth of in-patient treatment for free. No one looked down on me or thought me weak because I got help. I was treated with more decency than I've ever been treated with in my entire Navy career.

The Navy's Drug and Alcohol Program Advisors are actually there to help. You cannot go begging for help AND expect to get off the hook for a crime you already committed, but you can refer yourself BEFORE you're in deep shit and make progress. In making progress you may very well understand not only yourself but the world in which you live. You may gain a deeper sense of empathy, and believe me, empathy is one of the most powerful traits you can possibly possess. You become a better human being in the process.

The last salute comes for all of us in uniform. Once that uniform comes off for good you're just another person who was in the Navy once, and no one really cares how many medals you earned or how many people you lead. What's going to really matter, in those places between the flesh and the bone, the parts people will talk about when you finally pass away, is what kind of human being you were. My chain of command and friends supported me the whole ride through and forgave me for my sins when I finally had to courage to admit them. I learned a lot of lessons, some of which I've detailed, but none more important than this: we can all stand to be forgiven.

[secretobsessionstuff]

can you please do Kota and Blair for 18,43,78 on the “are you ok responses”?? maybe they get into an argument while blair isn’t feeling well so she leaves the room which prompts 18?

Thanks for the request!! The prompts come from THIS lovely post and I used:

18. "Like you care."

43. *can't answer over the urge to gag*

78. *humming no and cradling belly* "Mm-mm. M-My stomach..."

--------------------

Blair dropped her bag and coat onto the floor by the front door and made a beeline—ha Beeline—to the kitchen cabinet where they kept the medicine. She did not make that particular pun in her head, because her head was too sore to entertain any thoughts that weren’t about pain. 

The ache had first wrapped itself around her forehead, but quickly spread so that it wrapped around her whole body. The muscles in her shoulders and back felt constricted with tension. Her stomach too was feeling the discomfort of an intense ache. As if enveloped in an unwanted hug, she found herself sticky and uncomfortable, unable to shrug off the annoying weight that settled into her bones. 

She shook two pills into her hand and debated taking something for nausea. Blair never had much luck with anti-nausea pills; they never worked fast enough to stay down. The likelihood of the ibuprofen staying down wasn’t looking great either. The only reason she was chancing these pills was because she felt like she might stab the next person who spoke to her if she didn’t try something.  

Unfortunately for Dakota, he greeted Blair in the kitchen, solidifying his role as The Next Person Who Spoke to Blair. 

She did not stab him even though he came bouncing into the room, rambling about dinner. He made a Kotaline—you know, like Beeline—to the fridge. He opened the fridge so quickly that the jars and cans in the door clinked together annoyingly. Everything was annoying to Blair just then. 

Dakota shoved a handful of grapes into his mouth. “Thank God you’re home. I’m starving and we have literally nothing to eat,” he said literally eating fruit out of his palm. 

He spun around from the fridge and scanned the kitchen for something specific…something Blair was beginning to think she had forgotten. “Where’s the takeout? Did you get it?” He looked at her with exaggerated intensity. “Bee? Where’s our food?” 

Ah yes, the food. The food that Blair was supposed to pick up after the work. The food that would single-handedly save Dakota from starvation. That food. 

Blair didn’t want to look at him when she told him the bad news. What? With the way her stomach was aching, dinner was the last thing on her mind. She sat down on the kitchen stool with a sigh, burying her head in her hands. “I forgot it,” she mumbled, kneading her fingers into her forehead and eyes. 

“No. You’re lying. You’re joking.” 

“Fine. I’m lying. You’re right.” 

“Really?” Dakota asked, perking up like a dog.  

“No!” Blair slammed her hands on the kitchen counter. She didn’t mean to slam her hands, but they came down so heavily. Everything was so heavy. Her eyelids. Her stomach. The organ whined as if it had been stuffed with rocks. She blew a puff of air out of her nose, trying to remain composed. Dakota was just staring at her as if she maliciously flushed all their food down the toilet. She rubbed her hands together to get the tingling feeling to go away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t have a good day and I just wanted to get home. 

“So, you purposely skipped getting dinner?”

“No. I really did forget it. I left work and my brain just drove me home. I wasn’t thinking.” 

“Yeah, you weren’t thinking.” Dakota licked his lips and dragged his hand over his mouth. “I take it that means you didn’t pick up my prescription either?” 

“What?” 

“I asked you to pick up my meds on your way home.” 

“When?” Blair had no memory of this. 

“This morning before you left.” Dakota was starting to get antsy now, moving aimlessly around the kitchen. Blair knew he got stressed whenever he missed a day of his adhd meds. 

There was so much she could say to this. Did Dakota even wait for a reply this morning or did he just assume that she would get his prescription? Did she give any indication that she heard him say this? The answer was no, obviously, considering that she hadn’t a clue what he was talking about. 

And why did she have to do everything? She wasn’t the one sitting at home all day. He could have gone to the pharmacy. He could have gone grocery shopping. Hell, he could have done the dishes that were currently piled high in the sink. 

But Blair didn’t say any of this. She was too tired to fight. Her belly was making enough fuss as it was. She placed her hand on her abdomen, feeling it cramp and churn. She didn’t want to do this right now. Dakota was still wandering around the kitchen, opening drawers and cabinets. When he said her name, she realized that he was expecting more.

“Can we talk about this later? I had a terrible day, and I don’t feel well.”  

“What about dinner?” 

This time Blair did want to slam her hands on the counter. He wasn’t listening to her at all, only caring about his own needs. A sudden hiccup made her shoulders jump. The sound was half hiccup, half groan. “I really don’t care! I’m not hungry” —so very very far from being hungry— “Just do what you want.” 

“Oh okay, because you’re not hungry, everything is fine, then?” Dakota finally came to a stop, just long enough to glare at her. 

That might have been the first instance where he saw something wasn’t quite right with the way she looked. Kinda pale. Kinda shaky. But in the midst of the argument, his mind didn’t connect the pieces just yet, despite everything she’d been saying. He was still thinking about how his day might look tomorrow if he didn’t take his meds. “And it wasn’t your prescription so who cares, right?” 

God, Blair swore in her head, he was being so hypocritical right now. And sarcastic, and he kept putting words in her mouth. The last thing she wanted was anything in her mouth. But of course, he was feeding her words that she didn’t want, or think. Not only that, but she could feel bile rising in the back of her throat. 

“Kota—hic—please.” She hiccupped again, this time it brought with it a burp that coated her tongue in a slimy layer of saliva. “I don’t want to fight right now.” She wasn’t sure how long they were going to argue like this, but she was certain that her stomach would not last long before sending up her lunch. 

“Well, I don’t want to fight either but—” Dakota paused as she stood up from the stool and started to walk away. Honestly it was closer to a jog. As she passed him, she burped wetly into her hand. It did not sound good. Dakota grimaced at how sick that burp sounded. Now she was more than just kinda pale. More than kinda shaky. “Are—are you okay?” 

She had to sneer at this. “Like you care.” 

“Of course, I care,” Dakota said as he followed her down the hall. Damn she was moving fast now. Something was not right. “For real, babe, are you alright?” 

Blair did not answer him. She was too busy gagging into her hand. Her belly lurched but she managed to keep the sick from spilling past her lips, at least until she made it to the bathroom. 

She dropped to her knees in front of the toilet, letting out a gush of pale orange liquid. Hot vomit burned her throat before splashing into the water below. 

“Oh.” Dakota stood frozen in the doorway. “Shit.” 

More sick gurgled up her throat. She squeezed her eyes shut as the next heave rocked her forward. Her knuckles turned white from how hard she gripped the bowl. Each wave made tears leak onto her cheeks.

There was no chance to catch her breath in between bouts. It just kept coming. Her poor belly was spasming painfully, like a rag being wrung out to release the liquid trapped inside. 

“Ugh God,” she mumbled as a harsh retch made her hair fall down by her face. 

Dakota snapped out of his shock, perhaps realizing that he had soon-to-be husbandly duties, one of which was holding his soon-to-be wife’s hair back. He knelt beside her and gathered her hair up in his hand. With his free hand, he traced his fingers up and down her spine. “Okay, alright,” he muttered as he patted her back. “Get that shit up.” 

She was shaking and burning up beneath his touch. He could feel the heat on the back of her neck from where he held her hair.

For a while longer, she stayed on her knees, too afraid to move from her spot. 

Eventually, Blair let out a deep burp. It rumbled in her chest and made her shiver with a new spike of nausea. Another gag had her pitching forward. Nothing came up this time except for frothy saliva. She groaned and spat into the toilet.  

She sighed heavily, wiped the sweat from her forehead, and leaned back against the wall. Her chest rose and fell rapidly. “Ugh, I feel horrible.” 

Dakota settled into a better position as well, groaning as he pulled his feet out from under him to sit cross-legged. He took in the sight of her wan complexion “Oh Bee, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were so sick.” He wore a look of pure guilt and never took his hand off her thigh. “Are you okay?”

Blair made a low humming noise in her throat as if to say no and shook her miserably. “Mm-mm. M-My stomach...” She kept her eyes closed and her arms wrapped around her belly. 

He felt like kicking himself. “I know. You’re really not feeling well at all.” 

Blair cracked an eye open. “So, you did hear me say that.” It wasn’t really a question—more of a trap that Dakota was sure to fall into. 

He stuttered. “I—I was being an asshole and I wasn’t listening to you.” 

She shook her head at him. “That was the first right thing you said to me since I got home.” 

“I feel like a jerk.” 

“Oh, that’s because you’re a jerk.” 

Dakota gave her a sad, puppy-dog look. “I’m really sorry, you know that right?” 

“Maybe…” 

“Mmh? Okay…” He moved closer to her and kissed her forehead. “Do you forgive me now?” He kissed her nose. “Or maybe now?” Finally, he picked up her hand and gave it the softest of kisses. “How about now?” he whispered.

Blair looked down in an attempt to conceal her smile, but Dakota lifted her chin back up. He wore the cheekiest grin. 

“Ah I see that smile.” He kissed her nose again before backing up to give her space. “Ah you love me again,” he said in sing-song voice. 

“I never stopped, idiot,” Blair said. Then she got serious for a second. “But you can’t just kiss me to make it all okay.” 

“But I kissed you even though you’re covered in germs.” The look she gave him made him throw his hands up in surrender. “But you’re right. You’re right. I’ll pick up my own damn prescription right now and then go grocery shopping.” 

“Thank you. But first…” 

“Yes?” 

“Help me to bed.” 

[rotationalsymmetry]

yes! I'm intrigued (as someone who did not live vibrantly as a kid)

from @creative-anchorage

Cool, thank you, good news, I'm doing this, bad news, by youth I meant late teens through early adulthood rather than childhood, hope you enjoy it anyways. CW suicidal thoughts, some talk of sex.

I'm going to go greentext format because that just feels natural to me right now.

Be me. Be reading a book about making happy memories, because reasons.

Book starts talking about the reminiscence bump: that when old people are asked about their memories, there's a huge cluster in the approx age 15-30 zone.

Author goes into a whole lot of memories from when he was 21 (and apparently traveling the world and stuff.)

Author (age 40) contrasts that to what he remembered from age 31, which was mostly going to the office a lot and one joke about toilets.

Take a moment to align memories of series of events with actual years.

Folks, the year I was 21 sucked and while I could remember some things from it, I didn't really want to. The year I was 21 was mostly after my first relationship fizzled, and we'd had some pretty epic world-shaking sex and I was running into this problem where I still wanted epic world-shaking sex but couldn't get it, and for some reason my brain-weasels decided that wanting sex and not getting it (in contrast to wanting sex that I got, because my boyfriend also wanted it, which apparently was just fine) made me A Slut which was the worst thing I could possibly be.

I have no idea where that came from, btw. I was super depressed though. One of the memories I don't especially want to remember was of going into a bookstore to browse, picking up a book, reading a sentence, and trying to read it over and over again because my brain was simply not taking in words any more.

And then I moved in with a friend I had really high hopes for (and ok, some romantic feelings for) and that friendship kinda crashed and burned. And my brain weasels were telling me some story about how if I couldn't figure out how to be friends with people that would mean I would never get enough support to pursue my own dreams which would inevitably mean I'd turn into a cynical monster bent on crushing other people's dreams, and it would be better for other people's happiness if I just didn't exist, so I should kill myself. Yeah, that doesn't make sense to me either. But it made enough sense to me then that I was putting serious thought into method and picked a date. My 22nd birthday, actually.

In retrospect I think I wasn't that close to killing myself ever? But it didn't hurt that I got new feelings for someone else and while things didn't work out, the exciting feelings got me past my 22nd birthday in one piece, and then there were holidays with my family that I was genuinely looking forward to, and once I dragged my ass into spring semester and also into the student counseling center things started getting better. But yeah, even though I did have some interesting and positive experiences in there, overall that specific 12 month period has a massive "wow that was a terrible time in my life" cloud hanging over it. Which means mostly I don't want to remember anything from it, except at times when I'm also super depressed and my brain is trying to convince me I've always been this way.

The year I was 31, though?

That was a great year. I was a couple years out of a relationship that had some good points but didn't make the cut for the long haul, and I'd been exploring the kink scene (so many memories) and dating as a polyamorous person, and I'd found someone I liked a little under a year earlier and then, shortly after my 31st birthday, I found another person I liked, (who I've been with for nine years now), and age 31 is covered with this exciting glow of being stupidly in love with two people at once.

And that's just my love life. 31 was also when I was in seminary and before things went off the rails, and most of my classes were really great and my classmates and professors were really amazing and I was so freaking excited about becoming a minister.

And I think at this point I'd finally figured out that groups that meet once or twice a month and that allow for talking about sensitive personal issues are absolutely my jam, and I was getting that, and I was doing sort of volunteer community-service stuff that was meaningful to me. (And there were problems, but they were mostly good problems, like "how do I see these lovely two people as much as I want and also get all my reading done?" and "where is the TMI line when talking to people at my (very liberal) church about being madly in love with two people at once?" and "how worried should I be about this polyamory thing affecting my career in my very liberal denomination?" And also "why is my very cool indigenous perspectives class making me read 300 pages per week, that is way too much reading, how am I supposed to deal with this?")

And really, it wasn't just that year either. The whole half-decade around that time was a really excellent period in my life, and just filled to the brim with interesting memories. I was doing so much, I had so many new things going on in my life, constantly. (It's dried up a lot since getting CFS, things still happen but they're a lot more spread out. Still better than some of the worse mental health periods in my life though.)

And for the study where the reminiscence bump came from, they asked people who were 100 years old -- people who were young longer ago, maybe they all or nearly all had the "find one person in your 20's and settle down" life experience, maybe people are attributing to age what's actually about what you're doing with your life, and people who have a hard time getting their life going due to problems like mental illness and other disabilities or you're queer and it takes you a while to come out or find people you can date or you don't really start feeling like you're living your life properly until after you transition or you're polyamorous but you kept thinking you could make monogamy work if you tried hard enough, you can get those experiences later, and

I suspect that for a lot of these people, it's not that they couldn't have those particularly intense and novel experiences later in life, it's that to some degree they were satiated by getting those experiences of writing at a cafe in Mexico or talking to a cute person at a museum in their teens and twenties, and were ready for a life that had fewer firsts and more "ah yes, I am waking up next to the person I love, again" which is a very delightful experience and you can have an excellent year made up of moments like that, it's just not as memorable as the first time you woke up next to them. Goodness knows people who live to be 100 are disproportionately likely to not be marginalized and to have a happy and very, very normal marriage.

Those posts that go around about how you haven't lost your chance at a good life if your childhood/teens/early adulthood was kinda rough and not how you wanted it to be? I share them because they're true. Probably for many people their early 20's are the time they like to look back on the most. But it wasn't my experience. And I got my good experiences later and they weren't less than for coming along later.

(I do kinda think my life now could be better than it is though, so I want to make some adjustments so I spend more of my limited spoons doing things that I really enjoy in the moment and can look back to as things that I'm really glad I did later on.)

There’s a personal post I want to write about youth and memories and living vibrantly, but it’s going to be a long one and I kinda need a running start. Anyone want to give me a boost by saying they want to hear about it?

[jwnchstr]

How your Instagram story would look like if Daniel Ricciardo is your boyfriend.

when you found out that you were ill a few years ago, you felt like your world stops. then, when the doctor said you had no chance at living anymore, you felt like your world crashed into million other planets and stars. when you heard that the longest you could live was another 3 months, you felt like your world turned to black. your feelings, your brain, your emotion died before your death.

your parents tried their very best to make you happy while you're still alive. your siblings tried to make you laugh in any way possible. well, except your middle sibling. he doesn't look like he cares about you at all until one night, you heard him crying at the corner of his room.

you knocked on his door a couple of times. his room on the other side of the door went silent for a few seconds. great. you got his attention. or maybe he cursing to himself because he thought everyone else had already gone to sleep, but you didn't care. you needed to see him so knocked on his door again.

"go away," you heard him say.

you're not sure if he knew it was you, but you continued anyway. "can i come in?"

to your surprise, a few seconds later (though it felt like eternity with your energy), your brother unlocked the door. he twisted the door knob for you, but you were the one who slowly pushed his door until it was wide enough for you to enter.

your brother's eyes were red, though he tried to look away so you didn't see it. his lips were turned upside down. there's something bothering him. you there is.

"thought you're asleep," he stated before he took a seat behind his desk. his laptop was on and it was playing an F1 race that was still on-going.

"i was, but i had to go to the toilet," you replied. "i was about to get back to my room when--"

"it's nothing."

"it's definitely not nothing." you were the first born. you're the eldest sister to three younger brothers. you fight a lot with them. you quarelled, argued, had miscommunications with them a lot, but you know they still respect you as their elder sister.

your brother sat silent in his seat meanwhile you stood awkwardly at the edge of his neat bed.

surprisingly, your middle brother -- the one who spends the least time with the family, the one who seems naughty and disheveled all the time -- is actually a neat freak. his bed was neat, for an instance. all his books are neatly stacked on the bookshelf. his guitar was on its own stand in between the bookshelf and the desk. there were no rubbish on the floor either.

"your room is neat."

"stop commenting about my room," he voiced out while watching the race.

you raised your eyebrows, didn't understand why he let you into his room yet didn't want to talk about his problems or anything else.

it's late. though you don't have school or work tomorrow, but it's still late and you should go to sleep. you don't want waking up late and feeling more tired than you already are, but the race your brother was watching looks fun.

"hey, what are you watching?" you illegally took a seat beside your brother. you heard his grunt of disapprove. you waited for his retort and smiled to yourself when it didn't come. "so?"

it took him a couple more minutes to open up to you about his passion on F1 races.

that night, you spent the whole night as you listen to your brother talking about F1, the cars, the drivers, the sponsors, the rules, the games they're playing on and off the grid. ever since then, this was how you spend your time with your middle brother. there weren't much conversation between you two on a daily basis, but you'll join him watch F1 races almost every weekend.

ever since you knew about your illness, you lost the motivation to live. you weren't laughing as much anymore. you were talking as much anymore. you weren't funny and making jokes anymore. later you found out, these were the reason your middle brother cried that night he introduced you to F1.

it was until daniel came into your life.

your family watched as you laugh again with daniel, but the one who gets it the most was your middle brother. there's something in you and daniel's relationship made him hurt, but happy at the same time. maybe because you both now have common interest. maybe because he liked daniel, too, and seeing how you're laughing with his favourite driver gave him mixed feelings.

daniel didn't try to make you laugh, though. by merely looking at him has already got you smiling and laughing at his face. you're not sure if you're making any sense, but every time you look at him you felt this butterflies in your stomach that makes you giggle.

he was also not the type of person to give you random motivational quotes when you didn't ask for it because he doesn't want to be rude. and that is how he changed your mind about life. no matter how sick you are or how dangerous your life is, always live your life to the fullest because at the end of the day, it's your life you're living. by seeing him doing things he love even though it's dangerous already makes you feel motivated.

not long after that, miracle happens.

"miss y/n, let me be the first person to tell you that you're now free from any illness."

your heart skipped a beat because you were expecting a different news. "i beg your pardon?"

"you're no longer sick. you're free from them now. congratulations." my doctor stood up and offered his hand.

i followed his gesture like a robot. when his hand gripped mine to shake, i could barely feel anything. when his staff opened the door for us to leave (for good) my mind was still on cloud nine. i felt as if i was dreaming until daniel came through the hospital door to meet me and ask about my result.

and the first thing that you did as soon as you saw daniel was hug him. literally. he was in your embrace for a good few minutes.

so here you are. a few months after the big news. you're posting on your instagram story as a way to tell him that you appreciate his existence. you thanked him for all the journeys he's gone through with you and how you're his inspiration to live your life again.

but you have to hide his face because you're not ready to let the public sees 'it'.)

masterlist

[novamirmirsblog]

Fading Memories

Word count: 1839

Request: Yes

Genre: angst

Warnings: possible tears, sad nat

A/N: y'all got a fluffy Loki fic, now have an angsty Natasha fic. Also, I cried while writing this and then realised I'm on my period so just know that I wont be rereading this anytime soon so any mistakes are just gonna have to stay for a while :) also blame @simpfornatasharomanoff for the sad ending. She had a choice and two of the three choices were happy but bestie chose the angsty one <3

Something was wrong.

"Morning Y/n." You snapped out of whatever daze you were in, smiling and greeting Steve. "You ready to train some new recruits?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." That one sentence bought everything back. How could you have forgotten something as important as training potential future SHIELD agents? No matter. You remembered now and that was what was important.

The thought scratched inside your brain, growing stronger each time you tried to ignore it. It took hold of you like a slow cough. It was a tickling sensation first, barely enough to pop up on your radar, but the tickle grew. It grew until you weren't just forgetting names, but faces too. They grew blurry in your mind.

~~~~~

"Babe can you pass me the salt?"

You were sitting in a restaurant opposite... damn it Y/n. You remembered that you loved her. You remembered all the holidays you went on, telling her you loved her for the first time, all the risky missions the two of you had pulled off and yet you had no idea what her name was.

"Sure." You smiled at her and continued your meal.

The conversation washed over you. You worked out that this was clearly a thing the two of you did regularly and the intimate lighting reaffirmed your thoughts that you loved this woman. She really was stunning and you sat there trying to recall how the two of you met.

At first, you knew the names and faces were wrong but as the scratching of 'something is wrong' got louder, the worry caused by these mishaps faded away until you didn't remember what was wrong in the first place.

~~~~~

"Y/n you really need to remember to put the milk back in the fridge."

"What do you mean? I di-" you stopped as Tony held a bottle of room temperature milk, waggling it at you.

"I might be a billionaire who made profits from wars but we have to reduce our waste!" He teased playfully. All you could do was try to retrace your steps as you thought back to how you could have forgotten.

"Damn Y/n, maybe this is a sign to cut back on using the milk." Sam laughed joining in on the joke.

"Leave her alone. Like you don't constantly leave cereal out or the toilet seat up." Natasha came and stood next to you defensively, wrapping her arms around your waist and nuzzling into your neck.

You relaxed instantly but that niggling thought of something being wrong wormed its way back.

~~~~~

You were getting worse. You knew you were but you held on to the hope that because you knew you were getting worse, there was still time. You were sure Natasha had noticed. She was constantly waiting behind you when you cooked, pretending to be reading when in actuality she was making sure you didn't leave anything burning. You thought Steve picked up on it too, always berating the team if they made fun of you for forgetting things. You were no longer allowed out on missions. The excuse was that you were more valuable left behind to work on intel or mission planning. You didn't remember to question it.

"We need to talk about Y/n."

"Not now Steve." Natasha bit back. She didn't want him breaking the delicately created lie she was living.

"Natasha surely you can see it. Sometimes it's like she's not even in the room."

"I'm not talking about this." Natasha got up, refusing to acknowledge your worsening condition, convinced that you would be fine.

~~~~~

A new thing had begun to grow alongside the the scratching thought of something being wrong. Fear. You were terrified of being found out, of not being found out, of suddenly being somewhere you didn't recognise surrounded by people who knew you but you didn't know them. God you hoped this was reversible.

"How did we meet?"

Those 4 little words shattered Natasha's heart completely - and how could they not? Not when she knew what was coming next.

She had known for a while there was something not quite right with you. It started off with little things like losing your keys when they were in your hand, or forgetting to lock the door. The things started to get bigger. You were forgetting to turn off the stove, or that you had sparring, or that this was your room. She had only started to worry when you completely forgot Steve's name. You had pulled her aside after a conversation the two of you were having to ask her what the 'blonde man's name was'. Natasha could reason away any doubts with the twisted logic that comes with loving someone but she couldn't anymore. Not when she was fading slowly from your memory.

It was then that she realised something was seriously wrong.

~~~~~

Some days were good, perfect, back to they way things had been. These were the days that Natasha clung to with all her might. You remembered how the two of you met, the missions you had been on, your first kiss, her name. But these moments were fleeting and becoming less and less common. Natasha knew what was next. She knew.

On selfish nights when Natasha was sleeping in the room next to yours she wished you had a concussion. Wished that while you would have forgotten her because of the concussion, that you would fall in love with her again. She hated how she felt both hollow and so full of sadness she thought it would suffocate her. She had visited countless doctors months ago and the all told her the same things - that it was irreversible, that it would only get worse, that you would eventually have to be put into a home that could facilitate your needs. Every single doctor looked at her with such sympathy it made her sick when she told them your age. You were too young to have to experience this.

Natasha hated one doctor in particular. It was the third doctor she visited. The doctor told her that while early onset dementia is confusing and scary for those experiencing it, it is nothing compared to the pain Natasha will feel. She told Natasha that there are worst things yet to come and then she handed her a bereavement newsletter. That pissed her off. You weren't dead. Natasha explained that much. The doctor just gave her a sad smile and said that the person who fell in love with Natasha was dead.

~~~~~

The days where you awoke from your fog were getting closer and closer to none. Wanda took a peak inside once. Natasha had come to her, eyes raw from crying and cheeks flushed, and begged her to see if there was something she could do. There wasn't. Wanda saw the muddled confusion you lived in and knew you needed to go somewhere where you could be properly taken care of. She knew it was going to break Natasha but there wasn't anything else left to do.

You didn't even realise you were no longer with the Avengers, the group of people you used to call your family. You had no idea who the blonde man that came to visit you every Saturday was. You didn't recognise the man with a greying beard who claimed to be Tony Stark, telling him there was no way - no way he could be your friend because he was too old to be him.

Whenever one of the Avengers visited, they would always have a redheaded shadow. She never entered the room no matter how often the nurses encouraged her. She just couldn't. Sometimes, she would just wait in the car, not even able to enter the building you now called home. She would see her fellow Avengers come out of that building with tears in their eyes and watch as they wiped them away before walking over to the car, putting a false smile on and explaining what fun conversations they had with you.

~~~~~

Today was important. You knew it was. You had the date circled in your calendar. December the 3rd. It was important. You were getting more and more distressed as you realised you couldn't remember. Why couldn't you remember? It was clearly circled for a reason. The nurses watched as you paced your room. They had seen this enough times to know when to step in and when to let you pace.

Natasha.

The name was fleeting and felt fragile but you were sure that was what you were forgetting. You walked over to the nurses.

"I want Natasha."

When the phone call came through from the care home Natasha picked it up immediately. She drove over right away when a new trainee nurse told her that you wanted to see her, that you had remembered her name. Natasha refused to let the excitement be dampened down by the fact she knew this was only fleeting.

"Y/n?"

"Tasha." You smiled at her, hugging her tightly. "Happy Birthday." you whispered into her ear, tears threatening to fall from both of you.

"You remembered." Natasha let out a watery laugh.

"Well I circled the date for a reason. Come on, let's go on a walk."

The two of you walked around the facility's garden holding on to each other, carefully placed kisses on cheeks, noses, foreheads were littered throughout the walk. You had stopped by a large willow tree drooping over a lake.

"I like to come here. I think it's because it reminds me of that holiday we took to... um..." You frowned, concentrating with everything in you.

"Oxford?"

"Yes! That's it!"

"You don't even remember me, do you?" Natasha refused to look at you.

"Not most the time. I remember that someone is missing, that something is wrong, but I don't remember you specifically. I remember that I love you though."

Tears rolled down Natasha's face, her breath stuttered and shook. You wrapped your arms around her, quietly comforting her as she let it all out.

"Natasha I'll never forget that I love you and I think I will love you until the day I die but you need to move on. It's not fair on you. You should be with someone who remembers you - not just that they love you."

"I don't want anyone else."

You just kissed her temple. There was nothing you could do to help her. You were a shell of the person you used to be and Natasha needed to realise that.

You didn't ask for her again.

That was the last time Natasha saw you. Sure, she visited countless times, always hopeful, always vulnerable, but that was the last time you were truly you. Sometimes there were glimpses, a flash when Natasha would mention a crazy story or when Wanda would bring your favourite food but it would be gone as quickly as it came.

Something was wrong and it would haunt Natasha for the rest of her life.