#my brain as it tries to make sense of the nonsensical

[babycharmander]

(BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS)

I just finished reading The Book of Bill and I am kindof losing my mind over some of this stuff.

I had wondered if Alex Hirsch might make Bill sympathetic in some way and oh boy I was not expecting him to do it so successfully (and without cheapening Bill's character).

So, we learn that Bill was born into a 2D world... as a mutant who can see into the third dimension. He claims he was absolutely loved by all, but when talking about his powers, he mentions under Pyrokinesis:

"Cipher, Cipher, he's insane / Starting fires with his brain." The kids in grade school could be so cruel. But where are they now, huh? WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

So probably not quite as liked as he was letting on. To add to that, there's the silly straw page, which looks like silly nonsense until you decipher some of the codes:

"EYE DOCTOR OF A DIFFERENT KIND / WHO WANTS TO MAKE HIS PATIENTS BLIND" "THE DOCTOR SAYS / THREE SIPS A DAY / WILL MAKE THE VISIONS / GO AWAY"

I wasn't sure what this meant until I saw someone point out... he was seeing a third dimension that no one else could see. His parents probably took him to the eye doctor to try to "fix" him. Which, speaking of his eye doctor, the coded message in the section about human eyeballs says something interesting:

"MY OPTOMETRIST NEVER SAW IT COMING"

It could be a joke given beforehand he's talking about dissecting a human eye, but given the previous hints of medical abuse, I wouldn't put it past him that he tried to get revenge on his eye doctor.

Oh yeah and the whole thing about him setting his entire dimension on fire? Yeah it turns out it was entirely a mistake (he just wanted everyone to understand the third dimension he was seeing so they could be free of only two dimensions), he was so traumatized by it he blacks out when trying to recall it. He deeply, deeply regrets it, and...

"What? Your ENTIRE home dimension? destroyed? How? By what?" Bill looked distant, more distant than I'd ever seen him. "By a monster."

He sees himself as a monster.

And yet, he's not some innocent, misunderstood being. He still revels in causing pain and chaos. He's terrible in general, but becomes incredibly abusive toward Ford.

"YOU'RE MY PROPERTY. DON'T FORGET IT. The hillbilly abandoned you, your father won't want you returning without millions, you have no friends, and if you died out here in the snow, who would even miss you?"

Which... speaking of him and Ford...

Yes, yes, I know people ship them. But like, whether you see their relationship as romantic or platonic (I see it as the latter), there's some interesting parallels to be made here.

Both Bill and Ford are mutants who were mocked for their being different. (Bill was not physically a mutant, as far as we know, but more in the sense of him having vision stronger than that of everyone else in his dimension, and also having special powers. And he does describe himself as a mutant.) Both became social outcasts, separated from their families but still haunted by them (Ford seeing commercials of Stan on TV and running across old photos of him and his brother, Bill being haunted by his family in some form). Neither could return home for one reason or another. Both more powerful than their peers (Ford intellectually, Bill in terms of actual powers). Both of them isolated and alone. (Yes, Bill does have the Henchmaniacs, but they seem like shallow friends, and only really seem to follow him out of a desire to have a place to party.)

Ford was not aware of most of this, aside from knowing that Bill could not go home because his dimension was destroyed. But Bill absolutely saw himself in Ford. There was no other person he tried to use whom he felt a stronger connection to.

And he actually seems to care about Ford--he actually gave him a birthday present, and when Ford didn't like it, he decided to get drunk and party with him instead to make up for it.

And then when Ford realizes what Bill's plan actually is and refuses to go along with it, and fights back no matter what Bill does, Bill completely breaks down.

After living for trillions of years, he met someone who was like him, and that person rejected him.

He goes berserk, wreaking havoc, being caught by the dimensional authority that he's been taunting for most of his life.

And then after dying and being cast out of hell for being too annoying, he winds up faced with the Axolotl, who sends him to therapy, where he continues to break down further, sending out the book in a desperate attempt to find someone, anyone who will help him break loose and wreak havoc once again.

"You have no friends, and if you died ... who would even miss you?"

I don't know, Bill. Who would even miss you?

In short,

[ID: The front and back of one of Bill's Valentines cards. On the front is a black void with Bill Cipher lying down without his hat, gazing blankly upwards, with the text "I DON'T WANT TO DIE ALONE" above him. On the back is a simple white "TO/FROM" in red, with a red outline illustration of Bill spontaneously growing a mouth and eating a realistic, bloody heart. /end ID]

[sortanonymous]

So am I the only one who gets kind of annoyed whenever people act like emulation on PC is the be-all, end-all solution that nobody has any excuse to not try?

Like don't get me wrong, long live emulation! It's just people going, "Why would you buy that re-release? Just boot up your computer and play it in 5K on Dolphin!"

I don't know if you can tell, but I only got a computer better than a Chromebook just last year, a pretty good $700 (I think refurbished but still very new) Windows 11 laptop, and yet it runs stuff as simple as Citra and Dolphin like absolute dogcrap, especially if, higher powers forbid, I want any resolution better than 480p. Heck, it can barely even do decent N64 emulation. And that's without even mentioning all the controller complications.

Not to mention, maybe they just don't have the space for a good PC setup or just inherently don't sitting at a desk to play games for hours at a time. I have warmed up to playing on this laptop lately (in case you couldn't tell from me playing through those Sonic fan remasters), but even so, I'd be lying if I said I'd rather be playing them on PC compared to on the TV or even a handheld console. And my desk is in no shape or position for a beefy PC with the nearest outlet so far away from it, so there goes upgrading to that even if my family and I had so much money to burn. (Although again, still a good laptop that I don't really regret having.)

Again, emulation rules and I can still get some good homebrew use out of this computer, but I'm just annoyed when people act like you'd be stupid to not go all in on PC emulation when, newsflash, it isn't exactly plug-and-play (though of course not to excuse when the kinds of re-releases I mentioned are lazy and/or overpriced - looking at you, Nintendo).

Then again, I also have a homebrewed 3DS and Wii U, making basically every pre-Switch Nintendo system besides the N64 (which even then I have Expanded Switch Online for at least the next eight months simply for not knowing when to turn off auto-pay in time, although I barely use it and the release pace is horrifically bad and greedy) fair game alongside tons of older stuff, so I could definitely be having it worse.

[puari-vol]

Peer Pressure

CW: Hypnosis

I stood quietly and unobtrusively off in a corner of the ‘slumber party’ trying my best not to bother anyone. Occasionally I glanced over at my friend Kelsey who was talking animatedly with some girls and wondered why she had insisted I come along. Of course I had agreed at the time, it seemed like a good way to make friends. But now that I was here…I couldn’t bring myself to try talking to anyone. I fixed my eyes on the cup of water in my hand. This was all… fine, I was just being Kelsey's designated driver. I was being helpful, like a good friend should be. It didn’t matter if I had fun or not. 

I zoned out enough that when Kelsey tapped me on the shoulder I jumped

“Did you really just stand in the corner this whole time? Geez come on you goof its time for the movie!” 

She took my arm and dragged me toward the TV. Both couches were full so I ended up sitting cross legged on the ground in front of them. Kelsey was about to sit next to me before she was suddenly pulled away to sit with some other girls, so now I was just sitting next to two strangers. They didn't seem to mind me, but they didn't introduce themselves either.

The lights go off and the movie starts, the chatter dies down as everybody watches. It seemed like there was something wrong with the audio, there was an odd droning sound playing under the movie. But it wasn’t loud enough to be annoying and nobody else seemed to notice so I kept quiet. The movie was honestly kinda boring, I glanced around and accidentally made eye contact with someone doing the same thing. I felt myself blush and turned back to pay attention. The movie kept going and after a while I started to space out. I was so out of it that when something changed it took me a while to notice. The movie wasn’t playing anymore, or maybe…this was part of the movie? The screen just showed a pink and purple spiral spinning around and around. The droning had gotten louder. How long had the spiral been on the screen? I couldn’t remember. I looked to the girl on my right, about to ask if something was wrong with the movie. But she was just staring at the screen, focused. I noticed everyone else was doing much the same. I quickly turned back to the screen, not wanting to embarrass myself. As I watched I tried to remember what had been happening in the movie for this to make sense, the spiral and been going for at least a few minutes now, but the more I tried the more the details of the movie seemed fuzzy and distant. I stared intently at the screen, trying to find out what everyone else was looking at…

I blinked when there was suddenly someone sitting in front of me. I only noticed because she waved her hand in front of my face after she sat down. She was backlit by the spiral on the screen and she smiled at me. 

“Hey there” she said softly “First time here?”

I just nodded feeling strangely dizzy.

“Kelsy said she was bringing someone knew, is that you?”

I nodded again, she was gazing intently at me and I started to feel self conscious, I averted my eyes and saw that everyone else was still just staring at the spiral

“Well Kelsy has good taste, you’ll be lovely”

I blush, not expecting the compliment

“Um thanks” I mumble no longer able to meet her eyes. She was grinning at me now

“Are you ready?”

“Uh…for what?”

“To learn about the button that turns off your brain” 

I blinked as I tried to sort through the nonsense statement

“The what?”

She giggled and pointed off to my left 

“Just watch, you’ll get the idea”

I looked and saw she was pointing at the girls sitting on one of the couches, all of their eyes were glued to the spiral. As I watched, another girl came up behind them. Starting with the girl on the far left, she leaned down and whispered something into her ear. Then reached over and tapped her on the forehead. At once, she went limp. Head lolling forward, eyes closed. She slumped into the girl sitting next to her, who jolted as if suddenly startled awake, eyes blinking rapidly. But the girl behind the couch simply reached over and tapped her on the forehead as well. And suddenly both girls seemed to be fast asleep leaning into each other. The girl behind the couch smiled and gave them both a pat on the head before moving on to the rest of the couch

“You see? All good girls like you have a button that turns off their brain” 

I was staring open mouthed at the girls now asleep on the couch

“But…but I’m not-”

“Shhhhh”

I felt a hand on my cheek, and my head was turned to face the girl in front of me again. I was blushing like crazy now and I stammered something incoherent. The girl just smiled kindly

“Don’t worry, you won't be bothered by that kind of stuff soon”

Hand still on my cheek, she turned my head to the right, where I watched the girl sitting right next to me get tapped on the forehead. Her eyes fluttered shut, and she slumped back, mouth open and drooling.

“Isn’t she pretty?” 

She put her hand below my chin and made me nod, I hardly noticed I was just staring at the girl

“Doesn’t she look beautiful, all sleepy like that?”

She made me nod again

“Don’t you want to look like that?”

I nodded, I wasn’t sure if she made me or not

She turned my head to face her again. Her other hand was held up in front of me, her index finger pointed at me. My eyes focused on the tip of her finger

“W-wait”

“Nighty night”

She tapped me on the forehead

[quimichi]

↳ ❝ [YOU WAKE HIM UP WITH NONSENSE] ¡! ❞ pt.2

warnings: Pet names idk some might cringe at that, bad writing, Ace affectionately calling you bitch, some maybe turn out ooc - i just suck at a few characters-my apologies

summary: You wake him up in the middle of the night talking complete nonsense

characters: Twst boys x F!Reader

word count: 4.246

a/n: THIS IDEA WAS NOT FROM ME, unfortunately i can't find the creator so if you remember tag them! My writing wasn't as good as theirs tho

Riddle

Riddle's slumber is disturbed by the sound of his name. He doesn't answer right away, opening his eyes slowly and blinking a few times before he realizes his surroundings. "My rose?..." he asks, voice tired and hoarse.

He sits up, looking over at you. He sees you, and his expression softens. "Are you not able to sleep?..." "Remeber when i was walking my whale in the mountains, and i met two talking closets offering me a discount on money?" Clearly you make no sense, after all this was planned. You have to stiffle your laugh and giggles but you manage to stay serious nonetheless. Riddle blinks a few times as he tries to process what you're saying, his sleepy brain refusing to comprehend the words.

As his thoughts clear, his eyebrows frown as he attempts to make any sense of you talking about closets. Or discounts on money.

He blinks a third time to clear his vision. The expression on his face is pure gold, priceless. He looks adorable with his mouth agape. Riddle blinks a few more times. His eyes flicker as he attempts to discern your words, but he is too sleepy to put together the pieces.

"You walked a whale?" he finally manages. "Talking closets? Discount? Mountains??" He lets himself drop backwards onto the bed again and left out a sigh. "Mhm! Talking closets in the mountains" you softly laugh as you kiss his cheek and lay down beside him. Riddles cheeks heat up lightly, and he cannot help but blush.

"You can tell me all about it once its the right time..." and before you could even answer, he's out again....

Trey

The sound of your voice stirs him from sleep, and his eyes flutter open. Trey blinks a few times, the softest smile still gracing his features. He blinks again and again, finally fully comprehending the situation. His eyes widen as his lips part.

"Ah...yes?" he whispers, rubbing his eyes to rid himself of lingering sleepiness.

"I forgot to tell you that yesterday I was out with my mixer and we saw a duck on the runway having metal teeth." You can tell that the story has stumped him for a few seconds. He blinks, seemingly trying to process what you just said.

Though he knows the words make sense separately, all together they're a rather peculiar combination. He tilts his head, his brow furrowing.

"That's...a bit strange, no? Was it a normal duck aside from its odd teeth?" "Yeah!" His mouth quirks up. You can see a glimmer of amusement flit across his features as he chuckles. "A duck with metal teeth it was then, cool i guess." he says as he tries to form a picture of it in his mind. The concept of an otherwise-normal duck sporting metal teeth would definitely be a curious sight.

He lets out a soft snicker, clearly entertained by the absurd image. "Now," he yawns, "c'mere and sleep with me now, kay?" he mumbles tiredly and pulls you closer by your hips, pressing you against his body.

Cater

Cater's eyes open slowly, as if he was only half asleep. When he sees you, his eyes widen a bit and he tries to focus. His expression is soft and a bit hazy, but he seems to recognize you immediately. When he sees you, you notice a wave of tender affection flood his body as you hear him take in a deep breath before he lets out a quiet sigh. "Whatisitbaby..." he slurrs his words together.

"I baked a broom for you and decorated it with car keys for your happy easter celebration on Christmas!" Cater blinks a few times, before he slowly lifts his head and blinks slowly. He seems a bit confused about your statement, how can someone not. He is too drowsy to respond just yet, so he merely smiles goofly at you gently and lets out a small yawn. His eyelids slowly start to close again, but he seems very content to just sit here with you.

Cater seems to be drifting off sitting, so you decide to let him return to sleep. His breathing grows heavier the moment his back hits the bed again, but you can still see his chest rise and fall softly as his body adjusts to a deeper slumber.

His face rests against your chest, but before he can fully fall back asleep again he slurrs a few words for you. "Youcantellmeallaboutitinthemornin'kaykaybaby?"

"Kay Kay, baby" you softly laugh and kiss his forehead.

Ace

Ace’s breathing pauses for a moment as he remains partially asleep. His eyelids flutter and his eyes remain closed, but he responds nonetheless. "Fuck off Juice...lemme sleep..."

"....bro youre in my room no blueberry juice here-" you deadpan. Ace raises his head, mouth open with a bit of droll running out. He blinks slowly, left eye earlier than the right, and looks drowsy at you. "Right....what's the matter babe?" He drops his head face down in the pillow again after he used all his energy to answer you. "So, yesterday when i wanted to visit the moon i accident took the wrong worm and we ended in the bushes where shoes grow." Ace laughs softly into the pillow and shakes his head at the absurdity of it all. “Ah, yes…I remember. Cool story babe.......now lemme sleep"

Before you can even react Ace wraps his arms cautiously around you and pulls beside him as he lays on his stomach. "You're one crazy bitch...fuck, i love you." He mumbles into the pillow again, before turning to face you and pull you closer into his chest. Ace lovingly kissed your forhead before stroking your hair and slowly falling asleep again.

Deuce

A quiet moan escapes Deuce’s lips, and he begins to stir. He opens his eyes and sits up— you can see that he is still half-asleep, blinking slowly and lazily at the ceiling. “Wha-...ar...are you hurt or somethin'?” he says in a gentle, hoarse whisper.

Your gentle touch on his shoulder has woken him from his rest, and yet he doesn't seem annoyed by it; quite the opposite, in fact.

"No, no I'm not hurt. But i just saw a flying console screaming for pudding outside our shower." "Pudding?" Deuce repeats the word curiously, blinking as he wipes his nose and sniffs tiredly. Your tone seems to suggest that he should find the word familiar, but the foest year seems genuinely clueless as to what you're talking about. He gives you a baffled expression, but you can tell that he's still not quite himself.

If there are any flying consoles out there, they aren't his concern. "Pudding... flying consoles..." he mumbles. "Baby, you want some pudding...?" He ask tiredly, looking over at clock on the wall, luckly the moonlight lets him see the time. "At..." he squint his eyes, "8 am?"...3 am but you don't want to burst his bubble just yet.

"I can wait till 8 am, no biggie" you say, smiling at how concerned but also confused he is. Although hes tired he still tries to be a good boyfriend for you. "M'kay...g'night..."...out like a light.

Leona

"Hmm" Leona groans. His hands trail up and down beside him lookung for your body to pull you closer against his body. But he didn't found you, instead you were sitting up. "Herbivore,...c'mere already."

He's still slightly groggy from sleep. Its common knowledge, waking Leona Kingscholar up is an unofficial crime. And now you even left his arms, the audacity. Good thing hes way to tired at 2am.

"I was looking for my teapot but instead found a dancing glass of ice tea waiting at the traffic light to turn into a tulip." "Ah... what?" Leona murmurs, slowly shifting upward. His gaze is still half-lidded by sleep; his eyes have yet to come back into focus.

He blinks at you a couple of times, before finally rubbing his eyes and frowning. Leona looks somewhat annoyed. "What nonsense are you saying?" He blinks some more, his voice still rough with sleepiness. "I...I love you come back and sleep." And since you didn't immediately react to him he growls back a, "Now."

Ruggie

Ruggie stirs at your voice, ears laying flat and lazy against his head. He opens his eyes slowly and looks at you with half lidded, sleepy eyes. "Mmm...is it morning already?" he asks quietly. "No." You smile gently at him and kiss his cheek. He smiles dopey and falls back against the pillows. "But...when I tried to read the picture about the story of the bear who went jogging in the clouds, i got confused."

Ruggie is just as confused. But smiles slightly as he props himself up in bed. He rubs his eyes, his expression one of amusement layered with tiredness.

"Ya know..., you really need to stop askin' me to help you with your homework,” he mumbles. "Huh?" "...Huh?" "....oh-" "yeah?..." Ruggie didn't know what he said, neither did he knows what he actually understood. And neither did you. You both just blink at each other looking confused, before he drops down into the pillows again and holds his arms out for you. "Come back and cuddle...ya silly little minx"

Jack

His ears twitch at the sound of your voice, and his eyes dart open in a sharp flutter. Blinking away the lingering sleep from his eyes, the world comes into focus.

When he realizes that its only you in front of him, he relaxes. "Are you not feeling well?" He's definitely not wide awake but isn't half asleep either. He quickly sits up too and puts his hand on your cheek, caressing your skin with his thumb as he looks at you worried. That would make you melt under normal circumstances, but you had other plans this night. "I was attacked by a wild blueberry and it wanted to read my eyelashes off my nails."

Jack blinks. His thumb stops moving as he is processing your words slowly. "... You're... you're..." He trails off at the nonsensicality of the sentence. The words don't register, and he looks at you with confusion. His brow furrows.

"What?"

You can't help but giggle. "Alright...time for you to get some sleep, hm?" Jack sounds exhausting, from being sleepy and from you. He stroke your cheek lovingly one last time, before you cave in and lay back into bed. "Good girl...", sudden tiredness came over Jack and he lays back beside you, pulling you against his chest.

Azul

The voice breaks him from his slumber. He flinches in surprise, waking from a deep sleep. His lavender eyes shoot open. They look at you with a certain amount of fright — until they register your face, in the darkness of your bedroom.

"Pearl?" His voice is a whisper— husky with sleep, but soft all the same. "If a snail flys into a tree, does it turn pink or will it eat chips?" You immediately hit him with your nonsense, no mercy. Azul stares at you in utter confusion. His face is one of uncertainty, and a touch of amusement as he tries to make sense of your question.

He settles on a response, but is not entirely confident in its truth. "I do not know, Pearl." He murmurs. "But what i know is that you should be asleep." You know he's right, but you also just wanted to have some fun. Azul gently pulls you back against his chest. He smiles at you warmly as he wraps your body in his arms.

He presses his lips to the top of your head. His hands come up to your hair, fingers threading through yours and gently stroking you, brushing them down your back to soothe your weary bones. "We can...discuss this tomorrow..." You just nod, snuggling up to him. Teasing him didn't work, but at least you got his affection.

Jade

Jade always sleeps lightly, so the tiny call of his name immediately wakes him. "Hmmm…" his voice is barely above a whisper as he wakes. He reaches out for you, his movements gentle, his eyes searching in the darkness for your body. "Mm...Guppy?"

"Do teeth grown on walls when they are covered in amnesia?"

The question catches Jade by surprise, his brow furrowed as he contemplates your words. He opens his mouth to speak, then closes it again, his brow now a full-on frown as he tries to formulate an answer.

"No?" he says slowly, voice sounding like a question rather than an assertion. He furrows his brow even further, brows meeting in the middle of his forehead. "...You know...there are situations where i feel like Floyd rubbed off on you..." he says. "Ey-!" Jade lets out a tired chuckle before pulling you back against his chest again. "My little guppy...so dumb sometimes, hm?"

Floyd

His pale eyes snap open as soon as he recognizes your voice. "Shrimpyyy," he whines quietly, his voice quivering in his surprise from being pulled from his slumber. "Why'd wake meee?" he mumbles and pulls you closer and tighter against his body, at this point youre used to it. "Do ghosts twerk when you play them ladders and earth?"

As odd a question as it was (Floyd is too), he doesn't even flinch. Instead, he takes a moment to process it before nodding, his lips curling into a smile as he answers, "Of course! Everyone knows ghosts like to twerk." Floyd just starts to giggle in delight, wiggling you around happily, "Aww shrimpy i love you! You're so silly!" He gave you one last kiss on your head before his smile drops, "But we gotta sleep now, so you better behave and don't wake me up again." Though he is still a little unsteady from being woken up so suddenly, his strength still remains in his embrace. From the way he holds you, you can feel how much he loves you. He wants you close. He wants to keep you with him. Forever even.

Kalim

His brows furrow as his eyes continue to stay shut. But your voice was enough to rouse him.

"Hmm?" his lips part, but his voice is still hoarse with sleep, and he doesn't open his eyes yet. Before he can open them or even get remotely more awake, you attack him immediately. "How do i know if a bunny catches a goldfish in a storm of wandering suns?" His brows furrow even further as his head shifts toward your direction. That question did nothing to make any kind of sense to him.

"H-Huh?" he asks warily, his eyes slowly opening just as his brows are un-furrowing. "I- Um." He looks around, his thoughts scattered.

"Lemme ask Jamil real quick...Ja-!" "No-!" Befode he can wake up the poor exhausted second year who just got into bed, you shut Kalim with your hand against his mouth. "Shhh-" He keeps mumbling against your hand, before he choses to gently kiss the inside of your hand. "Tschul...pwease led me go" "Huh?" You raise your hand, "I said, Jewel, please let me go-!" Kalims arms wrap around you in an instant. He buries his face into your shoulder, seeking the warmth of your arms. All of the tension in his body seems to ease at once, replaced by the comfort that he feels when he is in your presence.

He nuzzles his head into your shoulder, the touch being all that he needs for him to be at peace. "Ahhh, I'm wide awake now..."

Jamil

His head tilts a little as the sound of your voice reaches his ears. His head turns in your direction. His breathing is shallow and steady, his eyes closed.

"Mm? What now?..." "Do dogs cry rainbows when they breath daisies on a sunday bell?" There's a moment of silence as your question registers in Jamils mind. The wheels are turning, and you can tell he's processing it.

Finally, he answers, "No, my love. Dogs cannot cry rainbows when they breathe daisies on a Sunday bell....now good night." "Oh-" you were taken aback by how fast and serious he answers. Probably used to it from Kalim. It takes him a moment to realize he should explain his answer. "Dogs are not... capable of...crying rainbows and certainly not when they breathe daisies on a Sunday bell. The latter is...quite nonsensical, actually." A hint of a smile tugs at his mouth, but the expression does not fully reach his lips, "As expected from you "

He waits, allowing a moment to pass to see if you have a response. "Good night Jamil...." "Good night."

Vil

(Bro would honestly kill you but---lets forget about that now-)

His eyes flutter open as he removes his sleeping mask.They blink slowly, fighting off the haze of sleep. And then, they fix on you.

"Yes?" He whispers. Vil is scared you might be in pain, or a different problem flared up. But instead you hit him with this nonsense.

"If a goose loves an ogre, do they drink pebbles in the moonlight?" His mind reels from this seemingly nonsensical question. His body is tense as a whip, his heart pounding in his chest. This feels like a trap, but his mind scrambles to find a response.

He opens his mouth, then stops. He tilts his head, then opens his mouth once more, stopping. He blinks, staring at you.

Then, his lips curl to a smile. "Yes they do," he affirms with complete certainty. "They drink pebbles in the moonlight. And you know what else they do?" "No?" God bless your innocence in this moment, "They never wake up one another when they have their beauty sleep and don't ask them stupid questions." "Oh-..."

Rook

The sound of your voice, however small and soft, stirs Rook from his "slumber". Rook is never truly asleep, a good hunter never rests. He cracks open his eyes, and his lips form a smile and part to form a word.

"Yes?" he excitingly says, though the word, meant hushed and quite, was more loud than expected. "Yesterday I saw a sheep kissing a well and singing it a waterfall because it couldn’t catch a pizza." Without missing a beat he answers, "What a marvelous story mon ange! Did you come up with it yourself?" You nod proudly, not using one braincell to come up with words in the first place is and accomplishment! "Oh, mon ange, would you tell me more about this loving relationship between this talented sheep and its well-lover?"

Rook responds by wrapping his arms tightly around you. He presses his body close to yours, his fingers kneading at you. His touch is gentle but firm. Time seems to slow down as you two press even closer against one another, and you come up with more nonsense to entertain him. The world fades away to oblivion as thoughts of every day concerns slip away and you two embrace the warm bliss of that moment.

Rook doesn't say anything. He only smiles with pure adoration at you and listens to every single word. He just holds you, his every atom focused on being near you. Like always.

Epel

"Epel, Epel, Epel, Epel, Ep-" said guy blinks a few times in an effort to fully awaken as he hears you call his name multiple times. He squints his eyes as he adjusts to the full moon lighting of his bedroom.

He blinks again, rubbing the weariness out of his eyes. "Yeah?" he mumbles softly, his voice still sluggish with sleep. "I just saw an owl wearing a hoddie and stealing a womans wig while the sky was skittles." Epel blinks a few times, trying to process the words you just conveyed. He opens his eyes wider and shakes his head.

"Sounds like you had one wild dream," he whispers as gently as possible, "But at least it wasn't a nightmare so...ya should probably go back to sleep now." Epel's voice is a murmur as he slowly leans down to kiss the top of your head. His cheek brushes against your hair as he nuzzles into the softness, and he takes a deep breath.

His gaze lingers on your face, studying your features as he pulls back slowly. "I'll watch over you so you won't have any strange dreams..."

Idia

The sound of your voice cracks through his mind, jolting him to attention. Idia jolts up from sleep, startled. The sight of you makes his heart skip a beat.

He blinks his eyes open, staring back at you for a moment as he reorients himself. His breathing is quick and shallow, but he steadies himself. "Is-Is something wrong?!" He sounds genuinely scared and worried for you, you almost feel bad about what you're gonna do. "Horses eat frames so they can fly faster to the basement of the Texas curtains."

"Cool" Idia says softly, and his eyes squint. He tilts his head, clearly not tracking your train of thought. His body is tense, his mind dense, on edge as he attempts to make sense of what you just said. "Babe...explain," Idia says, his voice a near whisper. He narrows his eyes, concentrating on your words.

His lips purse for a moment, and he shakes his head slightly. "Can't make sense...might call Ortho..."

Malleus

His chest freezes with a sharp inhale, and he opens his eyes. His heart pounds in his throat, a nervous flutter. "Yes!? Love? I'm here," he says, his voice hoarse from a few hours of undisturbed slumber.

He blinks a few times, rubbing his eyes as he looks up to you, sitting in bed. He wants to speak, but the words can't leave because you beat him to it.

"2 birds were fighting over a brush because it tastes like fries on a Tuesday afternoon." His eyes narrow as he tries to process what you just said. "Tastes...like... fries? on a... Tuesday?"

Confusion clouds his expression, and he cocks his head slightly to the side. Your lack of response only cements his uncertainty. Was that a question? A question you expect him to answer, or was it a joke?

His frown deepens and he clears his throat, "The old man once told me abouta thing called Hoocus Poocus (my stupid idea of google)" he says slowly, raising from bed and groaning like and old man with back problems before he walks over to his phone on his desk. "Maybe this can help...my love?...Do you recall how I alive this device?"

Lilia

The snore halts, the sudden outburst of sound startling him out of his sleep. He wakes up like a mother, with a loud gasp. His eyes shoot open as he bolts upright, and he stares straight at you with an anxious expression on his face. "Has the time finally come?" "W-What time?" "Where i may or may not have left a cake in the oven and it caught fire." He says it with such ease...like he did leave a cake in the oven to burn down the entire dorm.

"No-!....I just wanted to know if you can cactus me a cucumber." He stares at you blankly. Your request takes a few seconds before registering in his mind. A brief flicker of concern crosses his face, but it is fleeting as he realizes you are being facetious. Oh, how much he loves your stupid ass.

He lets out a small laugh. "I'll cactus you a cucumber tomorrow, dearest."

Silver

He is so used on your voice that even in his slumber, your words reach his core. When you call out to him, his breathing grows shallow and his eyelids begin to flutter a bit. His lips twitch again, and he turns his head slightly.

"Ahh...whatisit..." "I slept on a dentist with a horn and he fixed my hair with his light switch." Silver's eyes snap open at your words. You've caught him off-guard yet again. He stares at you for a long moment before he finally speaks.

"You slept...on a dentist..?" He's still half-asleep, his voice quiet and hoarse. "Princess, did you cheat on me?" A quiet, breathy laugh escapes his lips for a split second. Your words are nonsense, and he knows it.

He swallows down another laugh, biting his tongue in an attempt to stifle it as he sees your horrified face. "Shut up..." you mumble, why does no teasing ever work with him?

Sebek

"I'M AWAKE AND READY-!," Sebek is startled awake, sitting up quickly. His eyes open with an instant, and he glances around, his gaze settling on you. "HUMAN? YOU AWOKE ME BECAUSE SAVANACLAW FINALLY ATTACKED DIASOMNIA TO KIDNAPP LORD MALLEUS, RIGHT?!"

"......no but, a egg just gave birth to a basball and now his golf wife is mad."

Sebek blinks for a moment, his brain trying to comprehend your bizarre statement. His face twists, you can't tell if its anger or regret. Regret for ever letting himself catch feelings for you. You never heard him being so silent, cause even in his sleep hes loud...he snores.

"...Human?" "Yes?" "I will escort you back to ramshackle so you can spend the rest of the night in your dorm."

"Nooo-!" "Yes-ah-ey-let go of me-!" He gasps at the sudden embrace, and he stiffens as a flood of emotions rush through his heart. His arms hang loosely at his sides as he is swept into your warm embrace. There is no resisting it. No matter how much he trys, he will always love you no matter what.

He feels like he's going to melt.

[jillgirlfriends]

Is my girl upset with me?

you are offended by them, and they are trying to make amends to you

pairing: billy loomis, jill roberts, charlie walker, ethan landry x fem!reader

warnin: offended!reader there may be something obscene, murder, some naughty

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ BILLY LOOMIS

you are so tired of your fights with him. billy was a wonderful boyfriend, you loved him very much.. with all your heart, but you are very annoyed that lately he just leaves you in the middle of your date with him. this is already the fifth time in a week, you finally could not stand it, splashed out all your emotions on your boyfriend and you both quarreled, because of which you became even more offended at him and decided to ignore

If only you knew that your boyfriend is actually a murderer and leaves your dates because of the stupidity of his idiot partner. but billy won't be able to admit it to you.

when he is completely calm, he will follow you around all the time trying to get your attention.

billy will always pay attention to you and show you his rare tender side that only you know about. he wants to spend all his time with you, but he can't because of his.. affairs.

billy will pull you to himself, hugging your waist and saying tender and sincere compliments kissing your neck. and in the end, you will forgive him.. because you can't be offended by your beloved boyfriend for so long. especially being offended by such a hot guy is a crime

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ JILL ROBERTS

it's all that damn trevor's fault. he deliberately want broke you up with your girlfriend by telling you all sorts of nonsense right in front of jill. he said that she was a very possessive and toxic person and that you should break up with her. you were already very tired after school that day and you just didn't understand what was going on and... you believed that idiot and ran away without saying anything, unable to handle it all. your brain just didn't work because of all the fatigue. fucking trevor wanted to ruin jill's relationship with you in this way because jill broke up with him

jill was so furious, she just froze and glared at trevor with the darkest, most gloomy gaze, thinking about how she would finish him. her hands clenched into fists and her eyes seemed to turn black.

oh.. trevor doesn't realize how much danger he's in when he calls jill

first, jill will come to her senses and calm down properly and will think over her plan in her room, and walk back and forth like an embittered paranoid. now on her mind:

1 ruin trevor's life and kill him for good

2 get her lovely girlfriend back

jill single-handedly sent information about trevor throughout the school and even made everyone think that he was the real ghostface.

she invited trevor to her house when her mother was away, jill made trevor think that she wanted to get their relationship back.. but it was not so. she killed him, and then wounded herself on purpose so that everyone would think that he broke into her house and tried to kill her, but she was able to fight him off and as a result, jill achieved two main goals at once. killing trevor. check. becoming famous. check. she was that fake final girl.

you yourself immediately rushed to the hospital to your girlfriend, completely forgetting about the quarrel, and pounced on jill with strong hugs. you were so worried about her.

thus, jill was able to make peace with you and achieve her goals, because she doesn't trust anyone alone

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ CHARLIE WALKER

kirby. that name alone makes you so mad. kirby started flirting with your boyfriend right in front of you, and charlie.. he was so slow and didn't know what to do, he didn't reject her at all. of course he didn't let her do physical things to him.. but, he responded to her compliments and then you just exploded. 4 years. 4 fucking years, she ignored him and when he started dating you, she immediately started paying attention to him? what the hell. you got so mad and then yelled at charlie, giving him a choice.

«me or kirby, the choice is yours» - the last thing you said to your boyfriend and walked past him, brushing against his shoulder. before that, charlie felt your anger..

charlie was confused and he was... honestly, even scared. he didn't want to lose you. that day when you poured out all your anger on him, he was in a strong panic and even cried at night, not knowing what to do.

the guy himself doesn't know why he let kirby flirt with him, maybe because he liked all this attention? or he still hasn't fallen out of love with her? no.. no, he has you.

as a result, charlie, out of despair and not knowing what to do... took a knife and put on that same robe and suit and went to the kirby house. he realized that you are more important to him and he loves only you.

the next day, the guy apologized to you. he was ready to kneel in front of you or even kiss your feet, just so that you would forgive him. you forgave him and apologized for your anger at him, and after that you both shared a tender kiss with each other

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ETHAN LANDRY

ethan honestly.. was such a slowpoke in the relationship, you understand that he is just shy and all that.. but, damn. when you want to hug him or kiss him, he always gets embarrassed and "pushes" you away, the most you always do.. is hold hands, yes, you understand that he needs time.. but, damn. it's been 3 months since your relationship! you just started to get irritated by all this, ethan was such a sissy that you just didn't want to see him or talk to him.

you ignored him and when ethan wanted to take your hand as always, you walked past him and didn't even look at him, completely ignoring him

ethan felt hurt that you ignored him, but... he couldn't find the courage to talk to you about it, so he followed you around like a kitten.

he tried for a long time to understand why you were offended by him, he asked his child for help and even asked him for advice, to which he received the answer: "I don't know, dude" and ethan was in despair and walked sadly around you for days

as a result, with the chad's help, ethan plucked up courage and apologized to you. you in turn, naturally forgave him because you missed him and it was painful for you to look at his sad face and without his asking pulled him to you for a kiss, to which he was surprised but timidly reciprocated the kiss

[starmocha]

My brain ran away with a plot bunny of Zayne and Caleb having been secret lovers as teens/young adults, taking out their sexual frustrations and curiosities on each other knowing that they both will be able to keep it well and truly from MC and Grandma and when Caleb comes back Zayne just launches at him and everyone thinks he’s throwing a punch but its a kiss

I am so sorry for not answering this sooner, but I wanted to write a little something-something with this 👀 it turned out so silly omg

Open Secret (Zayne 𝔁 Caleb)

A deafening silence fell over the room. The bride and groom watched from the side, surprised, as all around guests started whispering quietly amongst themselves.

You sat next to your grandmother, also in a state of shock, never once expecting to witness both of your childhood friends suddenly kissing in the middle of a wedding reception.

“Za…Zayne?” You called out to your plus-one, surprised when he had left your side without a word, and dashed across the room the moment he had heard the name ‘Caleb’. For a moment, everyone had thought an altercation was about to break out between the two young men, but to everyone’s shock, something completely different had happened.

“Y-you…” Caleb panted, his eyes widened as well. “Zayne…you…kissed me. Fuck, what were you thinking?”

Zayne blinked, his ears suddenly red as he realized what he had done in a weakened moment of complete loss of composure. “I…I don’t know,” he admitted, looking away. “I just…it’s been a while.”

Caleb chuckled, amused by the pathetic excuse. “Is that how you greet all of your childhood friends?”

If possible, Zayne grew even redder. He turned away, huffing, trying to regain some sense of dignity. “Stop spewing nonsense.”

“So why did you—wait a minute,” Caleb paused, his brows furrowing in confusion. He pulled Zayne a little closer, sniffing. “Have you been drinking?”

Zayne stiffened. “N-no…”

“You’re lying.”

“Chocolate,” Zayne clarified, embarrassed by his slight tipsy state, “There was a bit…of liquor in the chocolate.”

Caleb laughed. “God, you’re still that fucking bad with alcohol?”

“And it seems you are still so insufferable,” Zayne said, his lips suddenly on Caleb’s again.

“Hey—mmph, god, you are so—fuck—oh, fuck it…”

“Well, it’s about time!” you griped, causing both Zayne and Caleb to freeze and whip their heads in your direction, a look of complete confusion on their faces.

“What do you mean by that?” Caleb demanded, being the first to find his voice. He narrowed his eyes at you suspiciously.

You rolled your eyes. “Please, we’ve all known you two were up to something when we were teens.”

“‘We’?” Caleb questioned, doing a double-take. “Who’s ‘we’?”

“Well, Grandma—” you continued while Caleb started sputtering, nearly choking on air, “A bunch of girls at school—haven’t you ever wondered why no one bothered leaving either of you two chocolates on Valentine’s Day? They all knew you were an item—and also—”

“We were not an item!” Caleb protested loudly, his face and ears completely red. He turned to look at Zayne, who had been in a catatonic state since your revelation. “Well, say something!”

Zayne snapped out of his daze and cleared his throat. “Caleb’s right, we were not an item—”

“Caleb’s dick was literally in your mouth, Zayne.”

Both men looked like they were about to have a heart attack after your latest bombshell reveal. Caleb struggled to speak, his voice several pitches higher, suddenly completely aware everyone was watching them and listening in on the conversation—including his grandmother. “Pipsqueak, stop making things up—"

“I have pictures.”

“Of course you do.”

“Of course she does.”

Both Caleb and Zayne said simultaneously, tone flat, rendered defeated instantaneously. Caleb tried to speak as calmly as he could, silently begging for a meteor to hit earth at this very specific spot right this second. “Pipsqueak…why…do you…have pictures…of…that?”

“It wasn’t intentional,” you said, sulking at the implication in Caleb’s tone. “I wanted you to help with my homework and I thought you said ‘come in,’ so I opened the door, and…you were…cumming. My bad.”

Caleb nearly dropped to the ground in that moment if not for Zayne quickly catching him from behind. Zayne sighed as he shifted his weight, letting Caleb’s arm draped over his shoulders as the other young man leaned against him with sudden jelly legs. Zayne tried to keep his patient, calm tone, but you were really pressing his buttons with all of your roundabout responses. “You still haven’t explained why you took pictures?”

“Financial opportunity,” you answered blankly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“You were going to blackmail us?” Zayne questioned, his eyes widening a little.

“No,” you protested, offended that he would think you would ever do such a thing to them. You explained nonchalantly, “I let the girls in our school look for a price.”

“I feel like such a whore,” Caleb groaned at this piece of information you just shared.

“You moaned like one, too,” You quipped, earning an instant glare from him.

Before any of you could continue this conversation, another voice piped in.

“Sweetie,” your grandmother called out, and suddenly all three of your faces lost color in that moment. “This is all new information to me. I only thought the boys…kissed.”

You backed away nervously when both Zayne and Caleb turned to glare at you with murder in their eyes.

“Oh, um, the hunter’s watch is beeping,” you lied, “I—I better take this.”

“Get back here!” Caleb screamed out, making a mad dash toward you.

Yelping, you took off your heels and quickly bolted out of the wedding venue with two grown men chasing after you yelling bloody murder.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

I'm glad you liked the ask! Hopefully I can ask for a part 2 to the sequel as well - Virgin destroyer dress with those same characters?

-Oblivious Y/n: *back from another shopping trip where Aphrodite assisted in picking out a new outfit* Lookie~! I got a new outfit! What do you think?

-Hades- Was completely blank, almost like he was so shocked that he went blank- unable to react in any way, unable to blink. You smiled sweetly, trotting over, getting closer to him, showing him all the exposed skin up close, “What do you think?” when he didn’t answer you waved your hand in front of his eyes, finding him completely unresponsive. Aphrodite answered your call when you called only moments later, “I killed Hades!!” Aphrodite was no help, as she was laughing too hard. Hades was comatose for the rest of the day, but he wanted you to wear it again, he wanted to enjoy it this time, since the first time he was too stunned to do anything.

-Thor- If he had been holding something it would have either been dropped or shattered into a million pieces as his eyes were wide, unable to tear his eyes away from the exposed flesh of your body in such a revealing outfit. He was arguing with himself that he wasn’t going to let you go shopping with Aphrodite anymore- as these surprises weren’t good for his heart, but at the same time he was happy. Thor rushed at you, instantly getting you into his arms, your legs around his waist as you looked up at him, a shy smile on your lips, “Are we going to bed again?” he nodded, giving you an almost evil smirk, “Yes- for the next few days.”

-Okita- You overwhelmed the poor swordsman who instantly froze as you twirled, showing the amount of exposed flesh- the other dress you surprised him with before was modest compared to this!! He scrambled back from you, his eyes like cats, spooked, as you bent over a bit, your hands on your knees, “So what do you think?” he didn’t answer, but the moment you turned, showing off the ribbons on the side, he attacked, pouncing on you, making you squeal as his hands pinned your to the ground as he looked feral, like he was going to eat you, his eyes unable to stay still on your exposed flesh.

-Kintoki- Not just his face, but his whole body, almost like a temperature gauge, turned bright red, starting at his feet to the top of his head, a puff of smoke coming from the top as he quickly turned, “What are you wearing?!” you came over and as you got closer, he felt a sense of dread, as if he wasn’t going to walk away from this in full health as you hugged him from behind, your arms wrapping around him, “Do you like it- it’s the newest hot thing for couples?” he turned, seeing you looking so happy, but he tried to keep his eyes on your face, quickly failing as you turned, showing him the back. Poor boy quickly had you in his arms, “Forgive my for what I’m about to do to you Y/N!” you were confused, but happy that he was hugging you.

-QSH- His eyes went wide, only for a moment before he instantly patted his thighs, inviting you to take a seat, “Come closer- I wanna look at your new outfit!” you beamed, hearing his desire and you came over and he got a full show just you walking over to him, seeing your exposed flesh peeking out, certain bits playing peek-a-boo with him. When you when to sit across his lap, he stopped you, taking your hands, having you straddle him, “Sit this way- that way I can see all the details~” your eyes lit up, a bright smile on your face, “You’re so smart!” he chuckled warmly, his hands on your hips, he knew he was.

-Anubis- Instantly howled loudly, his tongue lolling out his mouth, his eyes turning into large pulsating hearts. His reaction made you smile as you posed before you turned, showing off the bare back. Instantly on his knees before you, arms around your hips, looking up at you as if you were perfection, hearts in his eyes, babbling incoherent nonsense as his brain short circuited. You were confused, your hands on his cheeks, “Anubis? Are you okay?” his smile grew, he felt his mind going blank and you squealed as his eyes rolled to the back of his head, passing out from joy. You caught him, crying out his name, hugging his head to your chest. He was going to pass on- but go as a happy man.

[p0rk-guts]

"Pork you literally posted Charlie a few days ago why are you so Hazbin obsessed rn-" ssshhhhshhsshhs.h........ anyway

VAGGIE REDESIGN! And I changed her name also bc I'm jus like everyone else fr. Meet Verbena :)

BREAKDOWN BELOW!👇🏾+ Exorcist uniform redesign :3

Starting with her name this time. Back when she was still a sinner apparently she was Salvadorian and since she's (apparently?) not a former human at all I decided to take a small creative liberty with her decent and made her Venezualan instead. SOUTH AMERICUH❗❗✊🏾 I'm pretty sure Verbena flowers are native to South America so that's where the name comes from.

Onto the design! I don't have much to say abt her design honestly. It's not egregious, but it doesn't really speak to me either. It looks like simple formal wear or uniform with some strange meaningless accessories attached. And those weird itty bitty shoes that look like they're part of her thigh highs... I'm starting to think all the characters's shoes were a last minute afterthought. All and all it tells us nothing about her character. The hair wings are cool tho so I did steal those

Also the whole deal with her eye is strange to me. Why Is the floating X there??? It's a real physical part of the world, other people can see it. Do pink X's always float over angel wounds? If her arm got chopped off would an X float over it? Was it like. A fucking curse visual placed by Lute as a constant reminder of her disloyalty? Why did Carmilla point out it was an obvious marker for her being an angel???? My brain can't fathom why it's canonically attached to her wound. If she was a sinner I'd kinda understand but. Yeah idk. Weird

Also her missing eye does not look like an empty socket it looks like a purple circle was sticker pasted on to her face. It's very flat. How did we go from this

to this

(IT'S EVEN OVERLAPPING ONTO HER NOSE IN THIS SCREENSHOT WHAT IS THAT THING.)

Anyway. I made her hair resemble Polyphemus moth wings because 1. They have eye looking spots and angels are all eyes and 2. Well. Polyphemus has 1 eye. So . 💀

Her overall coloring however is inspired by a Promethea moth. I could say it's because Prometheus defied the gods and Verbena did a similar thing but the real reason is I made a spelling error while initially looking for a Polyphemus moth reference 💀 but hey they both have eye spots! And Iike their coloring for her way better

I also redesigned the exorcist uniform for her redesign bc I wanted her outfit to have reminiscent elements from it.

I gave way less time to the uniform designs, but I still had some main details I wanted to adress. I don't like how they have no armor save for their helmets. Their arm and leg pieces are made of some flexible material that tears easily. It's not giving soldier it's giving soldier costume from party city. The devil like horns are also confusing to see on an angel and the paradoxical design is never addressed. They can be evil and look imposing, but the horns just seem kinda nonsensically on the nose to show how evil they are. At least to me.

In my designs I gave them actual metal armor on their bodies so you can easily tell they're soldiers and it makes sense for them to battle in armor anyway. I also gave them more light "angelic" colors with gold details bc I wanna use gold as a symbol of angelic nature in my rewrite. I wanted their masks to show completely static expressions with wide grins to show how unnerving they are and to allude to the idea that everyone is happy in heaven, and they're all happy to do what they do.

Verbena's belt and shoulder pads draw visual similarities to the pauldrons and mid section pieces in my new exorcist uniforms to draw a connection between her and her past. The Blazer draping behind her back is also supposed to mimic the visual of folded wings. I also tried to do this with all the gold details in her design. The big hoops and belt we're 80's inspired because I decided to follow how in one of her old designs she died in the 60's (even had the big hoops and everything). In my rewrite exorcists are all former humans but I'll get into that later. Also she's got an eye patch now! Just. A normal one.

Charlie is still taller than Verbena just like in the original and idk how tall Vaggie Is exactly but Verbena is like 5'5 while Charlie is 5'11. Verbena's also got more muscle on her bc unless their muscle mass is hidden magically or they don't gain muscle for stupid dumb idiot lore reasons all the exorcists look way too slim to be military grade soldiers but what do I know

I combined a lot of pointy shapes with boxy shapes bc— more similarly to her pilot self— she can be volatile and fierce but also grounded and impassive. I added the slits to her skirt so she can be a sexy formal lady who can still comfortably throw a few kicks, and the heels— well. Idk I feel like she could slay in heels! She definitely doesn't wear em all the time but yeah. Chunky heels. I like them they're cute. Also she's got her little name tag on bc she takes Charlie's job for her SERIOUSLY! she's uh. Idk what is she. A bellhop? General security/protection? Either way she's locked in.

I imagine she had white irises like Adam and Lute along with brighter more saturated and heavenly colors in her hair (color picked from the Polyphemus moth) that turned darker and more harsh after the fall (color picked from the Promethea moth). Really visualizing her emo phase /j

Also I think the little eyes in her hair can emote with her. In the final design the line kinda makes an eyelid and it'd match her eyelid's movements. Sillay

Alright that's a wrap on my Vaggie redesign! No bonus sketches this time bc they're within the texts! Who knows what I'll do next. Who I will deface. I sure don't. I think I might rename Charlie so there's that. Anywhozies hope you like her <3

[qqueenofhades]

I bought your 'Empire' the other day (which I am excited about; I haven't started it yet), but somehow completely missed that you had written historical fiction, and about the Plantagenets, my favourite historical dynasty, so I'll be jumping on that.

I was wondering if you had recommendations for historical fiction set during the Plantagenet reign? I've tried Sharon Kay Penman and unfortunately didn't get on with her writing, which is a shame as I've heard good things about her series. I know Philippa Gregory has several novels set during that time period, but her books seem to be verging on bodice rippers, which isn't what I'm looking for. Was just curious if you had any suggestions for well-researched fiction set during the Plantagenet reign.

This ask has been sitting in my inbox for several days (my apologies) largely because I was trying to think of a more helpful answer for you. Medieval historical fiction is VERY hit and miss for me, not least because it is often written by people who, uh, are not historians and thus have Certain Ideas (TM) about what the medieval period is like. Or they want to use various aesthetics, or they want to make some (usually questionable) point about how women were treated in the past, or they just go whole-hog on total nonsense. As an example of all of these things at once, let us all stare in horror at this recently-released book description together:

(The book is called the Stone Witch of Florence, by the way. I took one look at this and ran screaming. WHY.)

A stone witch?? So she channels the power of gemstones like a modern-day Instagram healing crystals influencer??? BUT ZOMGZ WITCHCRAFT. In the middle of the Black Death. "Unorthodox cures" you say. But they also need holy relics for protection, and I totally trust the author to understand about medieval hagiography/cult of the saints. Totally. We definitely won't get some half-baked comparison between Sekrit Women Magical Gems Which Really Work and Dark Ages Church Superstition Holy Relics Which Are A Fraud, or.... something??? And our nobly mistreated protagonist will super definitely be a real physician if she gets these and never ever accused of witchcraft (which LET US ALL SAY IT TOGETHER IS AN EARLY MODERN THING!!!!) Because medieval medicine was just a bunch of gemstone vibes anyway! Makes total sense!

...my head hurts.

Anyway, while not all examples are this egregious, the point is: I love historical fiction, but I almost always can't read it when it's set in the medieval era. I read Sharon Kay Penman a while ago and enjoyed her stuff at the time, though I have assorted gripes with it on a stylistic/historical level. While Philippa Gregory does have real academic credentials, she likewise has gone totally down the bodice-ripper alternate-history crackpot theory Secret Women Magic version of things, which is... fine if that's your jam, but just like you, it is not mine. I thus have to read fiction which is set in other periods or which I know less about or where at least I am more capable of turning off my brain and accepting things for the sake of the story. So as you see, I unfortunately don't have many useful suggestions for you in this field, since the kind of medieval historical fiction that I like to recommend is, say, The Name of the Rose. Which is terrific and written for someone of a professional medievalist's level of knowledge, but is not exactly everyone's cup of tea when they just want something fun and easy to understand.

I am, of course, happy to give other book recommendations if you'd like to broaden your request, and I'll do my best to think -- but yes! As I said, I wish I could be more helpful here. I shall persist.

(Also, of course: thanks for buying EMPIRE! I do hope you enjoy.)

[being-addie]

Morning Routines

We're all looking at those Instagram influencers who somehow manage to wake up at 5 am, do meditation, journal, do a 15-step Korean skincare routine, and go to the gym. And then they make a green smoothie and avocado toast, get dressed in a Chanel outfit and then sit at their fancy desk with a vanilla latte and a croissant.

This is not realistic. You probably already know that, but it likely won't stop you from trying to change your routine bit by bit to look a little like theirs. That didn't stop me, at least.

But now I've come to realise that no matter how much I try, I'll never be able to have a routine like the ones I see online. Because it doesn't exist. It's all curated for aesthetic appeal and generates a sense of false productivity in the watcher's brain. We feel motivated looking at those videos and never get around to changing our own life because we're too busy living vicariously through our phones.

Here's some things you should add to your morning routine, not to be fancy, but to feel better. This is coming from someone who's tried the unrealistic routines, and I now incorporate all of these into my routine. You can skip or add things according to your schedule.

S-T-R-E-T-C-H: Do your body a favour and loosen up your muscles. Nothing better than having a good stretch that wakes your body up.

Drink water: Before you put anything in your system, drink water. Not coffee, not tea. Plain warm water. And I don't mean lemon water. Some people might not agree, but lemon water strips your teeth of the enamel. It also is acidic, so all that bullshit they talk about it being "alkaline and pH balancing" is nonsense. Warm water is the way to go.

Make your bed: A clean bed should be the first thing you do after you wake up. At the end of the day, you'll thank yourself because it will be clean, and fresh and you can fall into bed immediately.

Hygiene: Wash your face to get rid of crusty eyes and sleep. Do a basic skincare routine (cleanser, moisturizer) so you'll feel fresher. Brush your teeth and hair.

Move your body: It doesn't matter what you do, even if it's for 15 minutes. Go for a walk, do a Zumba workout, or squeeze in a HIIT session. You can find lots of tutorials on YouTube (Caroline Girvan, growingannanas, Chloe Ting). Either way, working out will help you feel more motivated and happier. It's the endorphins.

Clean yourself: Set aside some time for showering, slathering on lotion, and doing your (real) skincare and makeup routine. Pick an outfit that makes you feel good about yourself.

Eat something: ALWAYS make some food. Your body has been famished for hours on end, give it some fuel. Make a healthy breakfast, or prep one the night before. If you don't get very hungry in the mornings, have a banana, and pack a mid-morning snack beforehand so you don't reach for chips.

Do 3 things: Make a to-do list of everything you need to do today. Don't overwhelm yourself. Then, knock off 3 easy tasks from the list that you can do quickly. You'll be filled with a sense of motivation, and it'll be easier for you to complete your list. It can be chores, it could be some assigned reading. Just get it done.

Gratitude or prayer: You don't need to sit for 15 minutes to practice gratitude. You can think of things your thankful for on the way to school or work or practice deep breathing/say a small prayer on the subway or bus. You don't HAVE to do it, but it definitely makes you realise how much you have in life and appreciate it more.

Kindness: Start your day with kindness. Compliment your barista, smile at the old lady on the street, pet the stray cat. There's so much love in the world, and you have so much love inside you, and it's beautiful to be a part of it.

No longer will I be stuck in a rut. I cannot be confined to being a bitter, unhealthy person when I know there's a smiling, healthy, happy version of me in the future. Deep breaths. You'll get there babe.

<3

[sailorstar9]

F/N's Husband's Ex Wore A Wedding Dress And Proposed to Him At The Wedding. Zhongli's Response Shocked Everyone

Warning: Anti-Guizhong, Modern AU

On the day F/N got married to Zhongli, his ex-girlfriend showed up in a wedding dress to try to stop the wedding.

“Zhongli, this is the bravest I've ever been in my life.” Guizhong declared boldly. “Are you coming with me or not?”

F/N looked at Zhongli, who held his disbelief in his eyes. He snatched the mic and loudly questioned, “Who are you? Are you in the wrong place? If you keep messing with my wedding, I'll make sure your left eye ends up in your right eye socket.”

When F/N and Zhongli started dating, F/N's best friend secretly warned her, “Your boyfriend is so good-looking and rich. Be careful.”

In the three years of dating Zhongli, other than his occasional foul mouth, he had always been good to F/N. So on the day of their wedding, when a woman wearing a wedding dress suddenly appeared at the door, F/N was completely baffled.

“Whose bride shows up at the wrong wedding?” the guests looked at the unfamilar woman, then at F/N.

Zhongli, who had a pleased smile on his face, turned the smile into a growl upon seeing the woman.

“Zhongli, this is the bravest I've ever been in my life.” Guizhong declared boldly. “Are you coming with me or not?”

Zhongli, however, snatched the mic and loudly questioned, “Who are you? Are you in the wrong place?”

The bride in the wedding dress was taken aback by his words, her face freezing with the emotions of anticipation gratitude she had brought with her.

“Zhongli, have you forgotten?” Guizhong whimpered. “You promised to marry me.”

Zhongli, grinding his teeth in anger, replied, “Stop talking nonsense. If you don't stop now, I'll make sure your left eye ends up in your right eye socket. I don't care if you're a man or a woman.”

Tears welled up in the bride's eyes as she said, “I'm Guizhong.”

Zhongli blinked and looked closely at her. “Did you have plastic surgery? Could you fix your brain while you're at it? Who brought her here?”

The commotion was quickly resolved amidst of F/N's giggles and the bride named Guizhong was escorted away Zhongli's subordinates.

After the wedding...

“Still sulking?” F/N teased, pouring out a glass of warm water for her new husband after the wedding guests left.

“Wait until I find out who brought that woman here.” Zhongli said through gritted teeth. “I'll teach them a lesson.”

“Who's this Guizhong?” F/N asked.

Zhongli glanced at F/N and feeling somewhat guilty, replied, “She's a former employee from my company; we did date for a month. I swear, F/N, I have nothing to do with her. We broke up when I found out she's only after my status. It seems strange she'd show up at our wedding. I knew it was too rushed to register our marriage.” he nuzzled his nose on F/N's neck. “I should've been more careful about our wedding day preparation. Let's plan a honeymoon aboard and have a proper wedding ceremony.”

The rush to register their marriage last year had been F/N's fault; they had obtained their marriage certificate but the wedding had been postponed indefinitely.

The next morning...

F/N noticed Zhongli was still asleep, so she got up first to freshen up.

After a night of celebration, Zhongli had stayed up all night trying to figure out who had wanted to sabotage their wedding.

After brushing her teeth, F/N noticed she had a new friend request on WeTalk from the next before; the profile picture was a girl from behind and F/N's sixth sense told her she was the woman who had tried to break up the wedding.

A message popped up: Do you want to know what your husband said to me?

Intrigued, F/N accepted the friend request and she immediately sent a follow-up message: I'm Guizhong, Zhongli's ex-girlfriend. Do you want to see the chat history between me and your husband? Even if you threatened him to marry you, what's the use? Didn't your husband have to sooth me for a whole night? Feeling lonely on your wedding night?

“Zhongli.” F/N pulled the covers off the still groggily Zhongli. “Your ex-girlfriend said you soothed her all night.”

“What ex-girlfriend?” Zhongli was confused. “Is she crazy or what?” he sat up. “Give me your phone.”

“Are you going to confront her directly?” F/N asked, handing her phone over.

Zhongli remained silent as he opened his chat with Guizhong and she continued to send screenshots of their conversation in a relentless attempt to taunt F/N; sending the messages while mocking F/N: even if you got married to him, I have the ability to get him back.

Zhongli grew angrier as he looked at the messages and he called her. “Guizhong, do you have a mental problem? If you're ill, you should go to the hospital. Do I have any connection to you? If you keep harassing my wife, I'll call the police.”

“Zhongli, have you forgotten how you soothed me yesterday?” Guizhong simpered.

“I soothed you?” Zhongli was fuming. “Are you dreaming or just delusional? Which part of you compares to my wife? I have a gem and I'm not interested in your garbage. Please don't harass us anymore or I'll personally call your father and ask him how he raised his daughter.”

Guizhong hung up in tears and Zhongli, still shimmering in anger, shook his head.

F/N laughed and carefully examined the screenshots Guizhong had sent her. On the photo, Guizhong was having a sweet conversation with a man and upon closer inspection, the man in the profile picture was Zhongli.

“Look at this photo.” F/N showed Zhongli the picture. “Is that you?”

Zhongli furrowed his brow, looking confused. “I swear I never talked to her. It's our honeymoon, don't be angry.”

F/N just leaned against him, laughing uncontrollably.

“You always scare me.” Zhongli sighed, realizing his wife was only teasing and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

As F/N sat on the couch, she wondered: is it possible that someone is really pretending to be Zhongli and dating Guizhong?

At noon, Zhongli, who was supposed to be on vacation, was called by to his company by his partner. He had been running his own business since graduation with the support of his parents and the company had grown.

F/N herself was a novel illustrator; while drawing a sketch, she causally glanced at the local news and sure enough, both Zhongli and her were mentioned. A woman wearing a wedding dress in pursuit of love but was scolded by her groom with comments suggesting she was his ex-girlfriend.

Zhongli returned home to see a neighbour's kid throwing a water bottle at F/N and the mother accusing her of being a mistress. He was about to step in when F/N threatened to sue the mother for slander and her words had the mother leave hurriedly.

Against Zhongli's insistence, F/N made a police report and the married couple met with Guizhong again.

“if you hadn't talked to me constantly, I wouldn't have been clinging onto you.” the grey-haired woman lamented.

Amused, Zhongli mocked, “Did I not tell you this isn't my message account? I've explained it to you multiple times. Are you deaf or just can't understand?”

“Even though I'm your ex, is this how you treat me?” Guizhong burst into tears.

“Regardless if it's me or Zhongli, we've said multiple times this isn't his account.” F/N folded her arms. "Rational people would investigate who's impersonating Zhongli instead of being unreasonable. You already know it's all fake but refuse to accept the truth just to inconvenience us.” she then handed the evidence she gathered beforehand and declared she would seek further legal actions.

It wasn't long before the police identified the impostor pretending to be Zhongli and F/N wasn't surprised to see Liu Su.

“Liu Su, have you no shame?” Zhongli questioned his HR Department Head. “Using my photo to deceive women. You have the nerve to impersonate me? You even attended my wedding and when Guizhong came, you could keep it together?”

“Please don't be angry.” Liu Su apologized. “I was just out of my mind. I've had feelings for Guizhong for so long. I couldn't help it.”

“Liu Su, if you could add Guizhong on WeTalk, why not tell the truth?” F/N asked. “She came to the wedding. Why didn't you stop her? Don't tell me you didn't know before.”

“Liu Su, answer the question.” Zhongli demanded.

“You go explain to Guizhong yourself.” F/N got up to leave. “I demand she restore my reputation and publicly apologize.”

The next day...

Liu Su came to apologize, “Boss, I truly know I was wrong.”

“How you anger me is one thing, but you can't involve F/N.” Zhongli warned. “For the sake of our many years of friendship, take a three month leave. I'll assign someone to handle your work. Don't come to my house anymore. Did you really think I can't see through your act? If you regard me as your boss, you should respect my wife. You brought Guizhong to disrupt the wedding and while she's slandering and gossiping about F/N outside, did you consider me your superior? F/N doesn't need to forgive you. As her husband, all I can do is neither of you appear in front of her rather than her feeling compelled to forgive those who hurt her.”

After returning from their honeymoon...

“Liu Su and Guizhong are together.” Zhongli informed.

“They're together now?” F/N echoed in surprised. “They're a match made in heaven. Did Guizhong agree?”

“Let them be.” Zhongli pulled F/N into bed. “As long as they don't cause more trouble. If they do, I'll make them regret it.”

“Will you leave Liu Su return after his leave?” F/N laid her head on Zhongli's bare chest. “

“Whether he comes back or not doesn't matter. Now.” Zhongli shrugged. “The projects he had are being managed by others for the time being. We'll see when he returns.”

Three months later...

Liu Su returned to the company and Zhongli seemed a bit upset.

When F/N asked why, it turned out that as soon as Liu Su returned, he had arranged for the company to hire Guizhong and now she's working as Liu Su's secretary.

Sometime later...

F/N met Liu Su and Guizhong again at the company; Zhongli had called her saying that was a document at home that he need her to bring over. Since F/N was on break waiting for the next portion of the novel she was illustrating to arrive, she decided to drive over and also brought along a lunch-box.

When F/N arrived at Zhongli's company, only she and Guizhong were in the elevator.

“It's been a while, F/N.”

F/N nodded indifferently, not intending to engage with her.

Guizhong continued, “Seeing me able to work at Zhongli's company must really bother you, right?”

“What's there to be bothered about?” F/N shrugged. “Your salary is being paid by Liu Su.”

“We work side by side in the company, while you can only come by with his approval.” Guizhong taunted. “It's just how it is.”

“If I say today I'll fire you, let's see if Liu Su can save you.” F/N retorted.

The elevator stopped and the doors opened.

Pointing outside, F/N said sarcastically, “Wherever you need to go, go ahead.”

Fuming, Guizhong shot F/N a glare and exited the elevator.

After handing the document to Zhongli, F/N mentioned the incident with Guizhong.

“Did Guizhong forget to bring her brain along when she was born?” Zhongli shook his head as F/N opened the love lunch-box she prepared. “Delicious.” he bit into a matsutake meat roll.

A week later...

Zhongli's internal investigation team came back with their final report; Liu Su had not only been taking kickbacks, he had also been selling company secrets to their biggest competitors. Naturally, Guizhong was his accomplice.

Zhongli decided not to show any mercy and contacted the police; Guizhong was arrested at the company and taken in for questioning with Liu Su following shortly after.

Guizhong's case was wrapped up quickly; the company's legal department had already started legal proceedings against her and she's likely to spend the rest of her life paying off debts.

As for Liu Su, as it involved unfair business competition and bribing non-governmental officials, Zhongli sent the company's legal department after him with full force, making sure he received the maximum sentence.

[homunculus-argument]

Your post a couple days ago about reading things you acknowledge as silly nonsense and not the Height Of Intellectual Literature, and letting yourself enjoy it anyway, unearthed a memory for me that I just. I'm sorry, I just need to share this.

So, there was a phase I had, years ago now, where I for some reason ended up somewhat regularly reading James Bond books whenever I was in the mood for something light and kinda dumb but entertaining to read (I was reading Outlander and A Song of Ice and Fire at the time as well, never finished either of those series tho, so I kinda ended up reading lighter stuff in between those long books to relax and let my brain take a breather if that makes sense). I honestly couldn't tell you which books I read, and it wasn't in any particular order, it was sort of like, starting with whatever my dad had in the shelf and then continuing with whatever the library happened to have. Some of what I read were the original ones written by Ian Fleming, some were by later authors. Idk, point is, it was light spy-adventure nonsense I read when I didn't have the energy to think too deep about what I was reading.

Sorry about how long I took to get to the point, but, anyway. There was this one James Bond book I picked up mostly because hehe suomi mainittu. Not by Fleming, one of the later authors, I remember neither the author name nor the book name and can't be assed to google it rn. Anyway, a fair amount of the plot of that book took place in Finland. I could not say for the life of me what the actual plot of it was, just that part of it was set here. I remember like exactly two details about it, and both of those I only remember because I thought they were funny back when I was reading it.

One of those details was that there was a bit of Bond's internal monologue at some point that was just him basically being a whiny bitch about the fact that he thought the sort of thick winter clothes you need for Finnish winters didn't make him look sexy

The other is that there was a scene where the baddies tried to kill him by ??? crushing his car (while he was driving on some little road somewhere in the middle of nowhere) between two lumiauras??? like i just. that seems like a highly impractical way to attempt to kill anyone, but sure (ja sori siitä et mä en ny suoraan muista et mikä helvetti lumiaura on englanniks, mut sä ny puhut suomee kuiteski)

Idk you talking about silly stuff in books just unearthed this memory for me, no idea why, and i just needed to share it with someone

It's a snow plough. The english word for lumiaura is snow plough. Also that mental image is hilarious.

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

A glorious idea has spawned in my brain

Hunter x Criminal!reader where they have a Batman/Catwoman relationship, however this time Omega meets the reader and absolutely adores her so the reader decides to stick around a bit (despite Hunter's protests). During this time, the reader and Omega form a mother/daughter and Hunter secretly loves it and falls for the reader everytime he sees her with Omega

Hello my lovely anon,

Thank you for such a fantastic request. I hope I did your request justice. The setting is Season 1 of Bad Batch, so hopefully you don't mind too much. I wrote with f!Criminal!reader, hope that's okay. Reader has a nickname.

Enjoy.

Also, since this isn't part of the Fic Roulette request, it'll be filed under the One Shots Master List. It's a little longer almost at 2400 words.

Love oo,

Not Ready

Warnings: Slight thieving, Omega in danger, dangling from a tower, banter, angst, fluff, shooting, dangerous driving, I think that's it. If I miss any please let me know.

Part Two

AO3 Link   |   OS & MS Master List |   Main Master List  

“Give it back, and we can just both walk away.”

You twirled the rather large knife in your hand, “Hmmm, no.”

Hunter clenched his fists, “I said, hand it over.”

“And I said no.” You smirked underneath your mask, the only thing visible on your face were your eyes. Eyes so full of cockiness, determination and experience. “I gotta ask though, why so long?” You chuckled, “Compensating for something?” You flipped it back and forth in your hand, twirling it around your palm and the back of your hand. “Has good weight.” You smirked as you arched your brow, “If you know what I mean.”

“I don’t have time for your nonsense!” Hunter looked behind, sensing the Imperial troopers closing in, he let out a sigh, and before you even realized what was happening he tried to stun you. 

Unfortunately, he missed thanks to your ability to sense when danger was imminent. Without even thinking your body back-handspringed away from the blue stun blast. “That was rude.”

“Listen, I need to get to my sister, and I don’t have time to mess around!” Hunter could hear Tech on his comms as he described Omega hanging from the tower. 

“Your sister’s in trouble?” All teasing and flirting died on your lips as soon as you heard that.

“Yes!”

You nodded and tossed the knife back to the chiseled red-bandana wearing man in front of you, “Let me help.”

“No. You’ve helped enough.” His tone full of annoyance and frustration. He grabbed the knife and took off running towards Omega, ignoring the pang of regret from his tone. It wasn’t your fault, you didn’t know he was running to help Omega. Yet, the frustration from having to waste even a minute on you was more than enough to make him worry about Omega’s safety and that’s all that mattered. 

His feet came to a sudden halt when you appeared in front of him with a speeder bike, “Hop on!”

“What?”

“Just … I feel bad, ok! Now shut up, and get on!”

He didn’t delay, jumping on the back of the speeder holding on to your waist tightly as you weaved through traffic.

“Where is she?” You shouted over the noise of the air rushing past your ears. 

Hunter didn’t respond and simply pointed to the person dangling from the tower, as another helmeted person neared her position. 

You sped up the speeder, you’d know Fennec’s helmet anywhere. You weaved and dodged against the oncoming traffic, almost as though you could see where and when the next vehicle was going to be turning or shifting. Your heart nearly dropped as you saw the tiny person slip, driving faster and more dangerous to catch her in time. 

Hunter reached out his hand and grabbed a hold of Omega’s in midair, tossing her onto his lap, pinning her between the two of you. “You okay, back there?” You shouted to make sure everyone was safe as you saw Fennec jump down and commandeer a vehicle of her own chasing after the three of you. 

“We’re fine. Get us out of here!” He shouted as he quickly checked over Omega to make sure she was uninjured and safe. He couldn’t see much from how she was clutching to his chest plate, but it didn’t seem like she was in pain either. 

“You got this?”

“What?” 

“I’m asking if you know how to drive a speeder?”

“Yeah! Why?” He didn’t clue in to what you were preparing to do until you flipped over him and landed on Fennec’s vehicle.

“Hey gorgeous!” You smirked as you looked at her.

“Ugh! Should’ve known you’d be here.” Fennec answered, rolling her eyes as she tried to keep her eyes on her target.

“Wasn’t supposed but I sort of owed him one. Back off.” You stood aiming your blaster into the hood.

“No can do, little Butterfly.”

Force you hated that nickname, somehow it had stuck among the bounty hunters and assassins, simply because you were quick and light on your feet. Dazzling them with your antics and before they even realized you slipped out of their sight, blending into the crowds more often than not. 

“Fennec, I like you, but you need to back off!”

“What’s in it for you?”

“Nothing.”

“I’ll split the reward with you, if you help me capture the little girl.”

You tried to stay balanced as Fennec tilted the vehicle side to side, “You disappoint me, going after a child.”

“Jobs a job, honey.”

You shook your head, “I warned you,” you shot your blaster into her engine, jumping off onto a nearby transport, watching as her engine began to sputter. She jumped to safety standing on the closest terrace she could find, as she watched you and her target move further away. You jumped down, finding your way back to the ground, hoping from one transport to the next. 

Once you touched solid ground, you looked back up to see Fennec turn and walk away. ‘Until next time, gorgeous.’ You mumbled as you headed back to the marketplace, before you even got five feet away, you felt your body jerk forward as tiny hands wrapped around your waist. You looked down to see the blonde girl, the rather striking man had rescued, his sister. 

“Uh… thanks, kid. I think…” you giggled as you pulled her arms away from you. 

“You saved me!” She beamed with a brilliant smile as she looked at you.

“I think your brother did that. I just drove.” You subtly shook your head, subtly moving away from the overwhelming bundle of joy.

“She has a point,” Hunter offered, “if you didn’t show up with a speeder when you did …” you could tell on his face he didn’t want to think about what might’ve happened.

“Listen, Fennec would’ve come up with something. She’s a bounty hunter, but she’s a fairly decent one. Anyway I’m glad you’re safe,” you patted the little girl’s head, “take care of yourself and your brother. Seems like he gets into trouble easily.” You turned to walk away when she gripped your fingers.

“Come with us.” She pleaded looking at you with big eyes that were asking for more than you were prepared to give, or have given to anyone since you could actually remember. It was nice to feel needed, but it was too much. 

Hunter wanted to grab Omega and pull her away from this woman who showed up, and was constantly surprising and making him feel uneasy at every turn. “Omega, we don’t know her circumstances. She’s probably already committed to something else, right?” Hunter narrowed his eyes on the helmeted woman in front of him, not wanting her to take the invitation Omega offered.

You’ve seen that look a thousand times before. It said everything that really mattered, you weren’t welcome, and he wanted you to leave as soon as possible. 

“Don’t worry,” you started keeping your eyes locked on the man standing behind Omega, “your brother is right, I’m … currently … occupied with other matters.” You smiled as you turned your attention to Omega, and kneeled before her, “Omega, right?”

She nodded, not letting your fingers go. 

You smiled and pulled out a collapsable vibroblade, “This is Vala,” you flicked your wrist and opened the vibroblade, “my father gave me this when I was about your age, he told me ‘this galaxy is full of good and bad people. Sometimes the good outweighs the bad, and sometimes there are too many bad, you won’t be able to find a good one. Vala, will always be there to protect you.’” You turned her hand palm-up and placed the vibroblade in her tiny hand. “It will protect you. Ask your brother to train you on how to use it. Never rely on someone else to save you, in this galaxy, sometimes the only person you can count on is yourself. Take care, Omega.” You ruffled her hair one more time, before standing up and walking away without looking back. 

It felt strangely comforting to be wanted, even if it was for a brief second. 

“Wait!” Hunter shouted, causing you to turn around, “We left your speeder that way” he pointed over his shoulder, you couldn’t help laughing.

“Don’t worry about it, handsome, it’s not mine.” You smiled and walked away.

Omega turned to Hunter, a saddened smile on her face, “Why couldn’t she come with us?”

“Omega,” Hunter kneeled, “we don’t know who she is. Whether she can even be trusted? It’s best if she goes her way and we meet up with Wrecker, Echo and Tech.”

“But…”

“Omega, I know you have a good heart, but you’re too trusting. It’s best if we keep a low profile and avoid entangling ourselves with people we don’t know. Come on, we gotta meet back up with the others.”

He guided her back to the hangar trying to avoid the Pantoran police force and the troopers that seemed to be searching for someone. 

Omega kept watching as one Pantoran guard held up a picture to a passerby, it was a picture of you. She pulled on Hunter’s sleeve and pointed to the Pantoran’s datapad. 

“They’re looking for her.”

“We should go…” Hunter tightened his grip on her hand, but she refused to move.

“We have to help her.”

“We don’t know why they’re looking for her. She could be a wanted criminal or a murderer, a thief.”

“Hunter, please. She saved me, it’s the least we can do.”

He looked at the picture and commed Wrecker, “Wrecker, where are you?”

“Just entering the marketplace right now, why?” 

“I need you to take Omega back to the ship, I …” he turned his head to look at Omega, “I have to repay someone who helped us get Omega back.”

Wrecker walked through the crowd faster than the others as people naturally moved out of his way, he stood in front of the both of them, tilting his head. “Who, you helping?”

“Don’t worry about it, just get Omega back to the ship and tell Tech we need to take off the minute I get back. Make sure Echo makes it back to the ship too. We may have to get out of here faster than expected.”

“Copy that” Wrecker picked up Omega and had her sitting on his shoulder as he headed back to the hangar with her. 

Hunter could hear the comm chatter between Wrecker, Tech and Echo. He let out a huff and shook his head, this was just asking for trouble. He ran back, heading the way you were walking. It wasn’t long before he found you sitting at a cafe sipping on something warm. 

“Came back to tell me you love me?” You teased him.

“Came back to tell you, you’re in danger.”

“Shocker.” You didn’t react or flinch, as you kept your eyes locked on the man’s eyes. 

“I need to know, are you a murderer?”

“No.”

“Do you have a bounty on your head with some crime boss or something?”

“No.”

“Then get up” he grabbed your arm and forced you to stand, grabbing your helmet as he pulled you along, running behind him. 

“Wait… hey!” You stopped in your tracks and pulled your arm out of his hold, “Who the hell do you think you are, pulling me like that? You know I have the right …” he put a hand over your mouth and pushed you into a darkened alley, hiding you with his body as a Pantoran patrol passed the two of you.

“They’re searching for you, and not just the police. The Imperial troopers are looking for you too.” He stepped away and handed you your helmet, “Listen, I don’t care what happens to you, but Omega was worried, and I’m not going to disappoint her. You’re warned. So you can either go back out there and try and avoid whatever trouble you got yourself into or…” he let out a sigh regretting the words that were about to come out of his mouth, “You can come with us and we can drop you off somewhere.”

“Us?”

“My brothers, Omega and myself.”

“Why are you helping?”

“Like I said, I don’t want to disappoint Omega. So what’s it going to be?”

You looked at him and then at the increased patrols you hadn’t realized were slowly filling up the streets, they all seemed to be looking for you. You closed your eyes and tapped your helmeted head against the wall, “Alright. I’ll trust you. Lead the way.”

He stepped closer to you, “I’m taking a chance on you, you put any of us in danger, and you and I are going to go another round, understood?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, “Fine. What do I call you anyway? Because I don’t think ‘stuck up jackass’ would work.”

“It’s Hunter, and what do I call you? Because I don’t think ‘crazy tooka’ works.”

You smirked as you looked at him, “You can just call me Butterfly. Hunter.”

“Fine. Now let’s go. Butterfly.”

“You know I’m not as bad as you think.”

“And hell is just a sauna, shut up and follow me.”

As much as you tried to fight the urge to smile, you couldn’t help but enjoy the banter you two had. You also couldn’t help but examine his physique as you followed behind him, moving around the crowd, ducking and avoiding capture until you made it to his ship. 

Omega ran to you and hugged you again, “I knew he’d find you, come on. Let me show you inside.” 

She gripped your hand and dragged you along. You weren’t looking for family, but … as you moved closer to the ship, there was a strange sense of belonging that came from meeting the rest of her brothers. For the first time in a long time, you felt at home. 

Hunter watched you and the way Omega gripped your hand, as you introduced yourself to Wrecker, Tech and Echo. He had to admit, you were attractive, when he saw you without your helmet, he almost felt his tongue getting all tied up. Not to mention, the outfit you wore also drew attention to your physique which didn’t help. He didn’t know why but he had a feeling this could either be a really horrible idea, or it would be a very pleasant surprise. 

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[ellabsweet]

[ੈ✩] 𝐅𝐄𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐋𝐓 𝐂𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 • 𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐁𝐒

synopsis: in which you’re fooled.

pairing: rockstar!ellie x reader x rockstar!abby

warning: mentions of cheating and drug usage but i believe that is all ! let me know in case there’s anything i just wanted to put this out already because of the traction this is getting which is making me sososo happy thank you everyone i love you <3

authors note: ——

← previous part | next part →

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐎: 𝐑.𝐈.𝐏 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇

approximately two years earlier…

“Who’s the pretty girl?” Ellie asks after snorting a line of powder from the small bathroom’s sink, a banging to the door from an urgent adult being dismissed by her and the dealer.

“You’re gonna have to be more specific than that”

“Oh c’mon you know the one. Sad eyes girl who watched the whole show from her seat at the bar like we were a band worth shit, like we’re going to be someday”

“They call her bunny around here. ‘Cause you know, a cute shell for a sex addict, y’know some misogynistic shit. She’s a regular to all The Deadbeats show on this shitty bar, you only want to fuck her now? Get on some fan service?”

“You’re fucking gross, man. I just digged her vibe, is all”

What Ellie meant by that was, she saw her soul reflected in your eyes and it scared her shitless but not enough to go untouched by the exchange, drowning in curiosity and magnetism the drugs made sure to intensify your face in her mind as though a printed sticker inside her brain. What Ellie meant was, she thought God was a girl with sad eyes and skimpy top watching her band in the corner of a loud bar piercing right through her like a Heaven and Hell collision midst a guitar riff.

Daniel took one last sniff of cocaine before he slammed the door open, the yell in his throat setting off a headache in Ellie: “Bunny! Come meet your rockstar!”

“I like your songs-“

“We’re gonna get married” You errupt in laughter with that, the sad eyes Ellie had attatched to the memory of you suddenly disappearing in bright amusement, she felt as though she could use your happiness as a new kind of high “I’m not joking, I would carry you in my arms straight into a chapel right now”

“Does that line usually work with the girls you go for?”

“I don’t know, you’re the first I tried it on. Is it endearing enough to convince you to elope?”

“You know every single person in this goddamn bar wants to get in your pants after that guitar riff, right?”

“I’m gonna be fully honest with you right now. I’m fucked out of my goddamn mind today, if I stare at you too long from the mix I took you’re gonna start having two heads and still I might dig it. But God, even then you look so fucking sad”

“Jesus” you scoff “alright junkie well I’m gonna go now-“

“You look so fucking sad and I see you. It’s like I’m seeing an angel cry, like I’m watching God in a party outfit wandering around and listening to my band, like a little bunny eyed daydream fucking painting on a museum wall that makes critics bawl into tears listen, shit, what I’m saying is you’re a fucking tsunami and I feel like I’m flooding and we haven’t even kissed and you don’t even seem to like me all that much right now but when I was up there?” Ellie pointed at the stage “You felt it too. My lyrics. You felt my stuff I know you did, like some soulmate shit like you feel my pain too like we’re both just trying too damn hard. I’m not insane yet, you’re something let me be something to you, I think I can be”

You didn’t answer her. You just kissed. Crashed your lips into her like you were coming up for air because something in your booze made something about her nonsense make sense. You thought you saw her in a dream when she first went up on stage, thought her to be one of those blurry faces in good nights of sleep that passed right through you, familiar in a mystical sense, in the stupidest way. Her lips on yours tasted of pure alcohol and it made you dizzy, weak in the knees. She knew her way around your body, waist and neck like a map engraved itself to the palm of her hands and you melted straight to them.

For two months you believed she was right that day, onto something. Talked about grief and music and love and death and space and leace and thought you knew her forever. Then The Deadbeats got more traction, moved to the spotlight. Then you caught her fucking a fan in the studio.

“All of Ellie’s girls think they’re special”

“Listen Abigail I don’t want to fucking hear it so you can fuck right off” You grabbed your bag, tears prickling in your eyes as you did so before the blonde grabbed hold of your shoulder, instinctively having you look back at her, perhaps the first time you truly looked at her all this time.

“But you really are.”

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[rei-ismyname]

X-WOMEN highlights

X-women was a one shot released in 2010 with the explicit purpose of showing women in 'skimpy clothes' - at least according to the wiki which references a now dead Marvel URL. With Chris Claremont on words and Milo Manara on pencils, you can decide that one for yourselves. Implied SA content warning.

Believe it or not, there's several pages of other girls gone wild shit before the plot actually starts, with Rogue inheriting a villa in Greece (from who? Never mentioned.) Gal pals only, except for the gay dudes Kitty busta in on when phasing on a jetski.

Turns out they recognise her, lol. She's entering people's rooms on a cruise ship - it'd be more surprising to not see fucking. Ororo does Karaoke, nailing Proud Mary. Rachel sneaks off with that dude, but he shoots her and shit goes wild. 'I can't quite make sense of it' wild.

The cruise ship gets attacked so they flee and somehow end up in the dingy boat with Captain Dave. They notice they're depowered so Rogue takes the opportunity to touch someone - Ororo is happy to be that person. While platonic intimacy is wonderful, I'm going to label this 'pretty damn sapphic.'

The least believable bit is Storm wearing those jeans tbh.

Then that boat gets attacked too, and they're shipwrecked with the 'chief' who claims to be a God-King that can bring down planes. The tribe worship him and planes, which seems odd. I think they're all his wives now, but he takes special interest in Storm. Dude never gets a name, but he's creepy AF. I assume Captain Dave is dead.

Less favoured wives perform manual labour. Believe it or not, this explicitly rapey chief is not the bad guy of this tale. Rachel and Kitty's psychic rapport runs through the mini, something famously associated with platonic friends. There's some nonsense in the background about China and India doing ... something. War, maybe?

This whole 'trying to rape Ororo' scene goes on for quite a while, and the chief's main wife is jealous of her for the attention. Gross. Ororo beats him down a bunch but he does have some powers. She agrees to 'stop fighting' if her friends are released. Nope! He likes it. Again, this creep is not the bad guy in this narrative. What the fuck was CC thinking?

The real bad guys show up with guns and start shooting but the chief has fucking eye beams and some kind of telekinesis. Or magic, or maybe he really is a God. The X-Women, sigh, team up with him to take down the Baroness' troops. Baroness of where? Doesn't matter. I definitely hate aristocrats who try to steal my friends' brain juice but this jerk enslaved them.

The Baroness' plan has been developing off panel and is now ready. She tries to fire the 'weapon' which involves the psychics' cooperation, but Emma Frost (who is in this story!) says nah. The chief becomes a reasonable person all of a sudden and does ... something. Whatever it is it works and he releases the X-Women without incident, saying he'll miss Ororo. She tells him to pay attention to his main wife, who is surely a slave too? I have no idea - this was such a bad idea.

The Baroness can control mutant powers and tries to get away. Storm unloads on her with max weather and freezes her solid. Emma punches her and breaks a nail. 🙄 I don't think she could possibly survive this, so yay?

After all the bullshit, the girls realise they never truly got to frolic. They do so, yet the chief is there? He's literally chasing Ororo in the last panel and she doesn't look happy about it. Everyone else is partying so I don't think we're meant to worry, but I do. Let's pretend she murdered him. This was in 2010, and it's not like rape culture doesn't exist - but it's baffling that this was either missed or just approved. Wait, no it's not. Marvel is not great with anything like this, and middle aged white dude writers and editors could totally see this as unproblematic. Rogue is doing some Coyote Ugly shit, the others are grinding on each other, and Ororo is playing chasey with the rapist with 50 wives? 💩

[usual-art-lover]

Vikdecai with Yandere Viktor.

(English is not my first language so sorry for any grammar mistakes)

Viktor hates Mordecai, of course.

That two-faced, little, arrogant fucker kneecapped him, betrayed him, betrayed the Lackadaisy, left them in their hour of need for his own selfishness, he threw away everything he and Viktor had built as in the partnership, the trust the understanding the never spoken about deep affection-

So, if his ex partner was ever to be seen again, Viktor has vowed to kill him on sight.

The problem is, the night that such opportunity comes, that the disgusting little traitor is standing there, in front of him, outside his door, bleeding profusely, he doesn't act immediately. In fact, he remains still, just staring, long enough for the monster to speak in a faint voice:

"... I didn't know where else to go..."

Just a few words, that mean so many things.

"You (still) make me feel safe "

"I (still) need you"

"You're (still) my partner"

Viktor doesn't always understand what the demon says very well, never did, with all those fancy and nonsensical words... but those words, whispered in that pained voice, he understand so deeply he could almost feel them carve themselves in his brain.

And so, he lets the monster in.

He helps him patch up his wounds, gives him something to eat (some leftovers from mrs Bapka's cooking), lets him rest and hide in his appartment from whatever it is he is escaping from. The demon has said something about a fight with his new "partners", his investigation... Viktor hasn't really paid attention, his brain is still trying to make sense of all the voices in his head, all with very different opinions on what he should do with the other feline in his home; and god does he hate himself for the surge of anger that he has to surpress as he hears the other refer to someone else as his "partner".

Viktor lets him stay the night, tho the tuxedo doesn't sleep, too anxious and paranoid (nice to see some things never change, at least). The slovack wants to ignore him, to shake him, to scream at him or even better to kick him out with a nice punch, what he should've done from the start.

But the sweet taste of nostalgia is too strong on his tongue, and said tongue starts to move, asking the traitor questions, or telling him about whatever comes to mind.

The questions are not about his new job or what got him here, he knows the other won't answer those, so he asks questions regarding Mordecai the man and not Mordecai the violent weapon. Viktor asks if he has come around to read that book with the long name he had wanted so much, if he has actually tried to remake his mother's jewish dish, if he has received any news about his family; and to his surprise, he does actually receive answers.

He wishes he hadn't.

Because now that they are talking, he can't help but slowly see the image of the heartless, disgusting monster break at the seems to leave out Mordecai Heller, his ex partner, the one he trusts with his Life, the one with whom he's able to comunicate with only a look, the one he has loved and yearned for years, despite neither of them ever saying the word; and he should hate himself for this weakness, but in this moment he just wants to relish in Mordecai's presence, be content, for a while after a long time.

Then Mordecai wants to leave.

He puts his jacket back on, his hat too, and talks about how "it's been nice converse with him again", his voice monotone as usual, but his eyes so gentle...

No.

No no no no. Viktor can't have that. Can't have him walk away, out that door, leaving behind everything they are for each other, just like he did that day... No. Viktor Is done with people he loves so desperately leaving his life, he is done with his heart being ripped out of his chest.

So, he doesn't let him. Just grips his wrist.

Mordecai struggles, and pushes and snarls at him, but he doesn't budge. The tuxedo is starting to get angry and truly violent, demanding Viktor lets him go. He doesn't believe Viktor would genuinely get aggressive to keep him there, not after how their last conversation about this very topic ended (honestly he is surprised Viktor even let him in...) But then, Viktor does.

Once he Is able to get out of Viktor's grip, the older cat grabs him again and pushes him back against the wall, away from the door. Mordecai could easily win this fight usually, because of Viktor's knee and all, but not without a weapon and when he has multiple deep and fresh wounds.

And also, Mordecai can read Viktor well too; and while he would be fighting to escape and go back to the shittiest life he has created for himself... Viktor is a lonely man who would be fighting to keep the last bits of deep connection and true love he has left in his life from slipping away once again. Mordecai doesn't think he could win such a fight.

So Viktor keeps him there. In his appartment. Safe, and protected. Not that Mordecai needs it really, but the certainty is what makes the bobcat feel better. Is Viktor slowly going insane? Getting more possessive? More clingy? Wanting to mark and guard and posses every part of Mordecai? ...Yes...

Truly concerning. But he has Mordecai back, so his mind can't find a single fuck to give.

And Mordecai hates it, of course.

Because Viktor Is a crazy bastard who has basically kidnapped him, and he is creepy and touchy and possessive... and yet... it feels so good to be with him again, to talk to him again, to banter with him again; and he would lie if he said the new additions, like sleeping toghether, were not of his liking. And oh, being so throughtfully wanted feels so good...

This came out wayyyyyy longer than I intended, I let myself go a bit too much lol. Anyway, I'm just happy I was finally able to get this idea outta my head!!

Do I want to turn this into an angsty, sad but also kind of sweet and very smutty fanfic? Yes.

Am I also super busy? Yes.

We'll see where this goes, I hope the Vikdecai nation enjoys this for now!