#my boy has been sogged

[grobenart]

just them being cute in the rain, bc they're obsessed with eachother OBVIOUSLY🙄 (and im. Obsessed with them)

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 30/04/2024

guess what​?​?​?​?​?​?​?​?

Season 2 Featured on: Haltmann's Highest Quality Video Game Rips

Ripped by alden wolf

Requested by eg_9371! (Request Form)

It's Gonna Be May!

Saying that SiIvaGunner has in-jokes is perhaps the most obvious statement of all time - it is an in-joke upon which the entire channel is built upon. Yet there's obviously always different LAYERS to each joke, how obvious each of them are - and even today, there are many running gags on the channel that fly over people's heads despite having followed along for so long. Indeed, such is the case today with guess what​?​?​?​?​?​?​?​?, as requestee eg_9371 made me aware of a channel in-joke that's been running quietly in the background for the better part of seven years as of today. All of it built on one simple truth - tomorrow, it's gonna be may.

To reiterate - beyond the funny ha-ha memes we all know like Mr. Grand Dad and more, the SiIvaGunner channel is filled with little nods and gags that oft go overlooked. I of course covered 5 Nights of Snop Dog recently which is a great example of one, there's how rips like Kill & Learn (Recut Ver​.​) reference a running joke by long-time mashup artist Triple-Q about how Sonic Adventure 2 and Kill la Kill have an immeasurable amount of similarities, rips like Kermit in the Ocean being spiritual successors to very specific years-old rips on the channel - you get the jist. Some of these gags eventually get special attention on the channel through specific channel events, but such has not yet been the case with guess what​?​?​?​?​?​?​?​?'s joke - it's a gag that's stayed in the background since its very beginnings, and is only being kept running by a select few rippers. If you're listening to the rip now and it still hasn't landed yet, you may need to be enlightened to the ways of hit boy band *NSYNC. Or, well, really the band itself matters very little compared to the song of choice - It's Gonna Be Me.

Boy band music has a pretty interesting track record on SiIva in general, honestly. One Direction, Backstreet Boys, Boyzone, *NSYNC - to me the typical audience that obsesses over these kinds of bands feels at odds with my image of the average SiIvaGunner fan, and yet whenever they're prominently pushed I get reminded of just how good their music can be when wielded by good rippers. We've had two explosively quality events focusing on two bands in particular, the Big Time Rush takeover of Season 5 with Famous Surprise and the One Direction day of Season 7 with Beautiful Dreamer. *NSYNC hasn't had the same explosion of notoriety, but It's Gonna Be Me in particular has stealthily appeared on the channel every year since 2017 on April 30th. The joke is originally an ancient Tumblr meme from 2012, based on the way singer Justin Timberlake (yes!) pronounces the titular line in the song as "It's gonna be May" - the joke writes itself, and so Tumblr users have annually celebrated the day-before-May in Timberlake's honor.

eg_9371 writes in his request for this post that he's actually one of the most active rippers in keeping this joke going on SiIva for all these years, which I find extremely commendable, and it all started in Season 2, with guess what​?​?​?​?​?​?​?​?. It's a rearrangement of the song in the style of Donkey Kong Country 2's Mining Melancholy, a track most notable for its rhythmic percussion of steel drums sounding like steadily-working pickaxes deep in the mines. Its a fantastic track on its own, yet that percussion especially is a shockingly natural fit for the harpsichord(?) backing prominent throughout It's Gonna Be Me. Mining Melancholy's usual percussion and other parts of its melody stick around for large parts of the rip, making it more of a melody swap/mashup of the two than a full rearrangement a la Sog-Gee Ambiance - but it only serves to enhance the two tracks used, giving It's Gonna Be Me a more melancholic sound and Mining Melancholy a more self-assured feel in return, a super interesting blend of moods. I don't think the It's gonna be May bit would have worked nearly as well if the rip it was paired with wasn't of high quality, and guess what​?​?​?​?​?​?​?​? clears that threshold effortlessly - its a great rip that's made me appreciate the quality in both songs used.

*NSYNC rips have, again, continued to show up in all the years since, always on the dot, often even deliberately placed as the LAST rip of April 30th to drive the joke home. I think it's really sweet that the joke has stuck with eg_9371 in particular, likely in part due to alden wolf's initial contribution to the bit - he's even made It's Gonna Be Me rips on dates completely unrelated to the beginning of May, just because its a genuinely fun song to listen to. There's tons of these "secret" gags left to find on the channel, reoccurring dates or rips that reference jokes from other rips that are years-old by now - and really, a huge part of the fun in running this blog is getting to discover so many turning gears of the channel that I'd never been made aware of. Keep an eye out for these gags yourself - and keep an eye out on SiIvaGunner channel itself later today, to see if It's Gonna Be May for yet one more year.

[tornoleander]

for that Ninjago ask game: 💥and 💭. also I'm gonna steal the game post from u. k thanks see ya later

Thank’s Lila those are HARD ones lol

Favorite fight scene? I’ve actually never thought about this. I’m really not much of a fight scene enjoyer but ninjago is great at making them fun and interesting (chima is not)

Oh boi after a lot of thought this is what I came up with a list.

Lloyd Vs Harumi in SoG Is the most angsty messy fighting Ever, it’s toxic, awful and honestly my favorite.

Lloyd getting beat up by Garmadon. Sons of garmadon fight scenes were another level with the emotional turmoil SO good and dark.

Nya vs. Wojira (my love of dragons and how good their designs are)

Jay just getting the shit beat out of him in Scrap n tap has been vividly in my brain for YEARS. 11 year old me thought about it quite a lot.

Zane vs. The Overlord

Final Battle

Headcannon oh frick I never been asked that either. Have most common ones but I really gotta write them down. I guess I’ve been talking about Nya and Yangs haunted temple recently Lmao I think you’ll enjoy this. (From Han’s secret Santa Discord)

So I guess my headcanon is Nya was NOT ok with moving into the place she was forced to be married in and died in the lawn of.

BUT she eventually gets used to it and copes by saying things like “I didn’t die in the front yard to not get same day delivery” under her breath or to jay. Because I find it very amusing.

[iamcautiouslyoptimistic]

Hi pookie!!! It’s ya girl. Two things, a statement and a question.

1) Your support means the world to me <3. You’re always liking my posts and sending in asks and I’m very grateful for your existence. If it weren’t for you, I probably would’ve stopped posting about my OCs. You indirectly helped me to stop worrying about notes, being cringe or annoying, and to post whatever I feel like! Thank you so much for being a kind person 💜

2) This is actually more like a series of questions (💀), so sorry if it’s too much!

How long did it take for Mason and Helina to ‘confess’/express their feelings for each other? Does anybody (besides Woods obviously) else in the safehouse know about their relationship? Who fessed up first? Assuming there were no obstacles between the two, what would their idea lives look together?

Answer as many as you want/feel like! No pressure 💜

Bro you're so sweet😭 I'm so happy that I've been able to do that for you and offer that sort of support! And I will continue to do so because I love seeing your OCs and how much thought you put into them🫶🏻 DON'T EVER STOP!!!!!

THOSE ARE SUCH GOOD QUESTIONS THAT I WILL GLADLY ANSWER!!! I don't have everything figured out just yet as some of their story is still in the works (mainly because I'm indecisive lol) SO I'll write out the thoughts I do have in regards to these questions, though they may be subject to change later on. Sorry this is long😵‍💫

Oh boy, I'd definitely say it took them awhile to finally tell each other how they felt. Helina's personality goes through some extreme changes as a result of the brainwashing so she becomes more reserved in certain ways, especially in regards to romance. It was never important to her until she met Mason so the genuine feelings he inspires are rather new to her. Mason also seems to be more mellow (I'm still familiarizing myself with his character, tho, so please tell me if I'm wrong), especially after the death of his wife. As a result, it would definitely be a slow-burn romance which would be hindered even more by the hunt for Perseus.

Mason was probably the first to confess. I can see him pursuing Helina more because she'd be distracted by her responsibilities to MACV-SOG. She'd find comfort in that sort of thing, especially if she was nervous about the blossoming feelings she has for Mason👀 As a result, he'd be the one making the first moves and pulling her out of her shell a bit until she was comfortable.

Besides Woods, I would say Adler and Park are also aware of Mason and Helina's affections for each other, considering they watch Bell closely throughout the game. Adler doesn't really approve since he knows who Helina was before joining MACV-SOG and knows that this new version of her is one he helped create. I like the idea that Mason and Woods would be unaware of the fact that Bell was brainwashed, explaining why they were friendlier than the others throughout the game (I could just be completely misinterpreting that tho lol). That whole revelation is something Helina and Mason have to work through together after the game.

In a perfect world, Helina and Mason would be a married couple with a nice house, a cute dog, and David as their son. The classic American dream life. However, with all the crap they've been through, that perfect life simply isn't possible for them😔

[bitterrobin]

Reader Beware....

another Flamebird in Gotham au, notes app substitution on this site!

this time I'll be listing my personal goals for the au and the developing fanfiction. (ignore if you don't want spoilers! /or you just couldn't care less about my DC/Batman thoughts)

create a fic/maybe a series that develops Bette Kane and introduces her to an audience that does not know her

Bette is highly underrated and unused. The potential in her parallel to Dick Grayson and her history with both Kate Kanes is a lot. Now that I've gotten into this fic and my hcs, I will now forever resent Grayson (2014) bc I can see so much there if you just swap Dick for Bette as the insider-spy. (Kathy Kane characterization in that comic notwithstanding).

characterize and humanize Talia al Ghul

I very much prefer a Talia that is complicated and tragic. She deserves her own development arc and she deserves a characterization that won't paint her as a strictly abusive mother. There's so much there, she's an old character and a great one! (Morrison I am closing my hands around your bald head). Yes, she's not a perfect mother. Who is? I prefer a Talia who maybe wasn't there for Damian all of the time, but she tries, goddamnit. Talia has her own heavy trauma and baggage that should be taken into account with the way she raises Damian. She should have way more in common with her son, especially when it comes their relationships with Ras.

actually write Damian Wayne in a published fanfic for once (you do not want to see my many many drafts and wips)

Not as much to add here, other than I don't think my Damian headcanons or characterization is that far removed from canon.

focus on other aspects of Gotham City that aren't tied to Batman/Robin (like Ragman, Wildcat, Mother Panic)

Self-explanatory. Gotham is a huge and diverse city, and having only Batman and vigilantes directly associated with him operate there is super boring.

Integrate Bette Kane and Kathy Kane into the wider Batman/"Batfamily" mythos

Also self-explanatory. It'd be nice. They're the first Batwoman and Bat-girl!

Create future opportunities for smaller, lesser known Batman characters (if this becomes a full series) like Charlie Gage-Radcliffe, the Foxes, Calvin Rose, Onyx Adams)

Please I need to see them in fanfiction form. Charlie is my blorbo who needs more comics, and Calvin is my favorite Talon. Also, he's canonically a former member of Haly's Circus and he wasn't given the immortal juice like the others - it is my hc that he was in the circus around the time that Dick was.

Rectify the deaths or character assassinations that I don't like (Orpheus, Holly Robinson)

Orpheus's death sucks major ass. Bringing him back no matter what, just to satisfy my brain. Holly Robinson deserves to be Catwoman for at least a while longer.

If I'm crazy enough to do it - introduce Christopher Kent in the future to an audience who does not know him.

MY SON. Look, I like Jon. Mildly. He's alright. But Chris is MY defacto Superman child and everyday I mourn what could've been if he wasn't aged up (deja vu) and he was able to exist for just a little while longer so that he could interact with Damian. So, if this au becomes a series, you best believe that I'm including at least a cameo. Jury's out if I fully replace Jon in the au or I make them similarly-aged brothers.

Expand/lengthen comic arcs I like and wanted to see more of (Robin: Son of Batman in general, We Are Robin, Talon, unironically Beast Boy 2000, Streets of Gotham)

Mostly self-explanatory. I just wanted to see more of Damian/Maya. Suren hanging out and going on adventures. We Are Robin needs a longer series, Talon is one of my fav comics, and I genuinely just wanted to see more of Bette in LA in Beast Boy. I also wanted to see Colin and Damian in SoG. (Plus, there was a Ragman backup running there!)

maybe give characters who are considered part of the "Batfamily" but are usually never given their dues - a chance to be main characters (Duke Thomas) (once I actually fully research him)

Yeah. This needs development on my part. I like him a lot, I just want to understand him better and give him some screen time so to speak. If I do get around to a We Are Robin rewrite or just incorporate it somehow into a larger fic.

umm... maybe expand on al Ghul lore perhaps, and develop the League of Assassins into something functional, terrifying, and tangible

Requires further research. But I love @arabian-batboy's take on how the family names (the al Ghuls, the Orghams, the Darga) connect to Behenian stars and the idea that each star could be connected to a hypothetical family and their powers. It's just cool.

[spoke9]

Family Reunion

By Louise Erdrich

Ray’s third new car in half as many years.

Full cooler in the trunk, Ray sogging the beer

as I solemnly chauffeur us through the bush

and up the backroads, hardly cowpaths and hub-deep in mud.   

All day the sky lowers, clears, lowers again.

Somewhere in the bush near Saint John

there are uncles, a family, one mysterious brother

who stayed on the land when Ray left for the cities.

One week Ray is crocked. We’ve been through this before.   

Even, as a little girl, hands in my dress,

Ah punka, you’s my Debby, come and ki me.

Then the road ends in a yard full of dogs.

Them’s Indian dogs, Ray says, lookit how they know me.   

And they do seem to know him, like I do. His odor—

rank beef of fierce turtle pulled dripping from Metagoshe,   

and the inflammable mansmell: hair tonic, ashes, alcohol.   

Ray dances an old woman up in his arms.

Fiddles reel in the phonograph and I sink apart

in a corner, start knocking the Blue Ribbons down.   

Four generations of people live here.

No one remembers Raymond Twobears.

So what. The walls shiver, the old house caulked with mud   

sails back into the middle of Metagoshe.

A three-foot-long snapper is hooked on a fishline,   

so mean that we do not dare wrestle him in

but tow him to shore, heavy as an old engine.

Then somehow Ray pries the beak open and shoves   

down a cherry bomb. Lights the string tongue.

Headless and clenched in its armor, the snapper

is lugged home in the trunk for tomorrow’s soup.

Ray rolls it beneath a bush in the backyard and goes in   

to sleep his own head off. Tomorrow I find

that the animal has dragged itself off.

I follow torn tracks up a slight hill and over

into a small stream that deepens and widens into a marsh.

Ray finds his way back through the room into his arms.   

When the phonograph stops, he slumps hard in his hands   

and the boys and their old man fold him into the car

where he curls around his bad heart, hearing how it knocks   

and rattles at the bars of his ribs to break out.

Somehow we find our way back. Uncle Ray   

sings an old song to the body that pulls him

toward home. The gray fins that his hands have become   

screw their bones in the dashboard. His face   

has the odd, calm patience of a child who has always

let bad wounds alone, or a creature that has lived   

for a long time underwater. And the angels come   

lowering their slings and litters.

[easy-goer-db]

All characters are adult and fictional.

Part 3:

“Wakey wakey diapee pants. It’s time to start your baby day.”

Ugh. What time is it? Paulina put me to bed just after 6pm, but it’s bright outside the window. How long was I asleep for? I felt her hand unzipping the front of my footed jammies. She was behind me. In the same spot where she cuddled me to sleep.

“Let’s see if babykins made a nice wet diapee for Mommy overnight.”

I had no idea. My entire body felt damp inside and outside the plastic pants. Sweat? Pee? Who knows? Probably both. She ran her hand down my torso.

“Someone is a sweaty baby. Was someone all hot in his jammies and plastic panties?”

I moaned into my paci gag. She pulled the waist of my plastic pants. The rush of cold air felt so good on my exposed skin. Her hand went inside the plastic pants and started patting around. She eventually managed to slip a finger inside my leg guard.

“Goodness gracious. My little water faucet soaked through another diapee, didn’t he? It’s a good thing Mommy found those plastic pants or else you would have super soaked the bed. And then you would have been punished again. Aren’t you happy that Mommy put you in plastic pants?”

I wasn’t. I hated them so much. And was now realizing that I was probably going to be experiencing a lot more where that came from. That said, what else could I do?

I nodded and meekly let out a moan of agreement into my pacifier.

“Good baby. Ok. Let’s get you fed. Then maybe you’ll get a diapee change. Maybe. Mommy decides.”

I exhaled and once again as if on cue, let loose another flood into my already soggy diaper. She could feel my diaper expand on her hand.

“Awww. Dumb baby made another wetty? Someone has no control at all. Hahaha. No matter what a stupid sogger you are, that won’t get you out of that diaper any quicker. Thank goodness for these plastic pants.”

I really wanted out of this diaper. Even if it meant that I was just going to end up in a new one. Behaviour was essential.

“Ok soggy pants. Time for your feed.”

She pulled my shoulder to roll me onto my back.

“I know my wittle loser probably can’t walk or crawl, so guess what? You’re getting breakfast in bed!”

I wasn’t sure if that was a bad thing or a good thing. Paulina got on top of me, straddling across my stomach. She leaned over and removed my pacifier gag. That little bit of freedom felt good. I stretched my jaw.

“Is wittle baby hungry?”

“Yes, Mommy. I hungry.”

“Very good. Now, what does the padded pee pants want to eat?”

Was this a trick question? It had to be. I need this diaper changed. Not a time to take a risk.

“Can I pwease have a baby bweakfast Mommy?”

“Awww. Of course you can. No big boy nums for you. And what should your baby breakfast include?”

Okay. Maybe I have a little wiggle room here. I really don’t want another “stew” like last night. Can I ask for just strained fruit? I’m going to do it.

“Mommy, can I pwease have some fwuit? I tink there is apples, bears, and bluebewwy.”

She moved in closer, slipped her fingers into my collar, and put her lips to my ear.

“Absolutely not diapee dweeb. Remember how you told me that you’re just a little baby last night? Hmmm….?”

“Yes Mommy.”

“Well that starts now. And it starts with a liquid breakfast. See?”

She turned her body, so that I could see my bureau. 6 bottles with white liquid were lined up in a row. Okay. Maybe that’s better than stew? She got up and carried all the bottles to the bedside table. She got back on top of me and forced the first bottle into my mouth. It tasted a bit like the milk from yesterday. Maybe just a little more bitter. Definitely thicker.

“Yum yum. The baby’s milkies is thick like his diapees, isn’t it? That’s why Mommy is going to be nice and let her little sog monster have 6 minutes per bottle.”

6 minutes. No problem. I can do that. I still suckled at a good pace, but not as frantically as yesterday.

“Good baby. Dwink your baba for Mommy. Fill up that tummy for mummy.”

She pressed the bottle more firmly against my lips.

“So little crinkle bear, what do you think we’re doing today? How is the wittle baby going to be tweated? Hmmm?”

That has to be rhetorical. I can’t answer. My mouth is full. I looked up with wide eyes.

“Well, while my itty bitty baby was having such a big sleepy time, I got to take a closer look at all your little baby things. And I realized something. We are going to run out of diapers. We’ve already used 20. You only bought 72. Just like a little dumb super soaker, just can’t count properly. Oh counting. How could I forget?”

She checked her watch.

“Only 1 minute left. Better hurry up.”

I looked up. There was a 3rd of the bottle left. I picked up the pace and started frantically sucking again.

“Right. Like I was saying, I realized that you are going to need more diapees to stay nice and protected. So I found the website on the receipt. I was doing a little browsing today. I used your phone to log in to your account. My my. My little diaper loser has ordered so many diapers over the years. And not just the little white ones that Mommy put you in yesterday. Then I started looking at those other crinkle pants you had stashed away. Oh, wait a second. 4, 3, 2, 1…”

I just barely finished the bottle at the count of one.

“What a thirsty baby! Ok, time for another. 6 minutes.”

She slipped the next bottle into my mouth. I wasn’t going to get a break. I realized the thickness of the milk was filling me up faster than yesterday.

“Right. So I know you wuv your wittle white diapees. But some of those other prints? Dinosaurs? Princesses? Animals? Mermaids? I loved the little ones that had “baby” printed all over them. It told me exactly what you are. Just a dumb diaper baby.”

She pinched my cheek and cooed.

“Anyway, I went on the website again and did some more browsing. Mommy found so many diapers that I think will look so cute on her silly soggy baby. Wanna see them?”

I nodded. I kind of did want to see them. That was the truth. I actually started to squirm and move my hips instinctively.

“Hahaha. Awww. Is the diaper dummy excited that Mommy wants to show him more diapees?”

She tilted backwards and slapped my thickly padded crotch.

“Naughty baby.”

While her hand was there something familiar happened. I lost control again and my giant diaper just kept expanding.

“Awww. Poor baby just can’t stop filling his diapee. Oh, speaking of.”

She checked her watch.

“1 minute baby.”

I was close to a 3rd of the bottle again. Dammit. I started to suckle frantically.

“You better finish up that baba.”

It was so thick. It took so much force to pull it through the nipple. My cheeks were getting tired from suckling so hard.

“You’re cutting it close dumb baba baby.”

Suckle, suckle, suckle, gulp, gulp, gulp.

“5, 4, 3, 2…oh you finished? Good baby. Ok, time for another.”

She swapped out the bottle and I was right back to chugging down the milky substance.

“Where was I? Oh yes, showing my leaky loser all the diapers they have.”

I knew what they had, but these were all fresh discoveries for her.

“First things first. I found the wittle white diapees that you love. Your history says you buy them all the time. So we’ll add one of those cases to the cart.”

She turned the phone around and made me watch while she hit add to cart.

“Then I saw you used to get the pink princess diapers with almost every order. Are you a pwetty pamper princess? They are so cute. We need a case of those.”

She turned the phone around and showed me as she added them to the cart.

“But they have more pink diapers than just those. They have such cute little fairies on them. Let’s get a case of those too.”

She beamed down at me as she dramatically clicked add to cart again.

“Let’s finish our collection of Disney princesses for the dumb baby. We obviously need those mermaid diapers too. Your diapee is pretty much under the sea anyway.”

All I could do was suckle as she added another case of diapers to the cart. Of course my credit was tied to that account. This humiliating shopping spree was coming right out of my pocket. Paulina took a break from scrolling through my phone to look down at her watch.

“Uh-oh. One minute baba baby. I see lots of baba left.”

Crap. She was right. I have to focus on my bottle, but I was so fixated by all the diapers she was ordering. I doubled down and started suckling aggressively. Suckling aggressively? Is that an oxymoron? Stop thinking. Focus. Paulina had her eyes locked on her watch and on my bottle.

“10, 9, 8…”

I’m close. I can do it.

“6, 5, 4…”

Almost. Almost.

“2, 1…and?”

Air slipped through the nipple. She pulled the bottle from my mouth and inspected it.

“What a good little sucker. Who is Mommy’s little sucky baby?”

“I am Mommy. I am a sucky baby.”

“Good baby. Ok. Time for another.”

I groaned as she shoved the 4th bottle in my mouth. I was running out of room for more liquid.

“Awww. Is the little baby’s tummy getting full?”

I nodded.

“Well too bad. Baby needs his num nums.”

She was getting really good at reading, because in that moment I stopped suckling for a second and exhaled. That had become a tell tale sign. I let another stream into my diaper.

“Hahaha. You are such a wetty wittle baby.”

I could feel my diaper leaking. The plastic pants were the only thing keeping everything together.

“Oh right. Speaking of my little tinkler sprinkler. Back to your diapees!”

She picked my phone up again.

“Ok. So we have 4 cases in cart already. That isn’t nearly enough for my little super soaker, is it?”

I shook my head.

“That’s right baby. You need so many diapees. I also liked these ones with the little animals on trains. The site says they are extra crinkley. So we’ll need those.”

Two taps and another case was added to the cart.

“They also have the dinosaur diapees that you’ve ordered before. You’ll be my little wetasaurus in those.”

Tap. Tap. Added.

“Ooooh. And what about these ones with safari animals? They look so thick. They’ll be perfect.”

Tap. Tap. Added.

“Hmmm…oh yes. We can’t forget the ones that have ‘Baby’ printed all over them. I don’t want my dumb baby forgetting what he is.”

Tap. Tap. Added.

Paulina looked down at her watch.

“1 minute baby boy. Oh, you’re doing so well with this bottle. Good baby.”

She was right. I was focused on getting this bottle in me before 6 minutes. I was thinking that maybe I’ll get a little 45 second break if I finish before the deadline. I finished.

“Oh my goodness. You finished that so fast. You must so dehydrated. We need to get you another pronto.”

Darn it. No break for me as the bottle was switched out again.

“Ok. I think 8 cases of diapees is enough for now. That’ll last a few days at least. Hehe. Buuuut. I see they sell more than just diapers. They have so many cute onesies. So. Many.”

A huge smile broke across her face.

“I was looking at your collection of dumb baby onesies. But they don’t match the diaper prints that we just put your cart. We need to fix that. I want my baby to be matchy matchy. I real fashionable baby. One who is fit to hit the dumb baby fashion runway. Well. Haha. The dumb baby fashion waddle way.”

That line cut right to me. My legs twitched and I wiggled. A humiliating line like that got me really excited. She noticed. She always seemed to notice.

“Awwww. Does baby want to be Mommy’s little fashionista? You want Mommy to show you off?”

I shook my head. But my squirming said otherwise. She took that opportunity to spin around putting her back to me while she remained mounted across my stomach. She put her hands on my utterly diapered crotch. It didn’t matter how many layers separated for me from her hands. I could feel the pressure and she knew exactly where to touch.

“I think baby wants me to buy him matching onesies. Hmmm…?”

She started to rub.

“So his diapees and onesies will be matchy matchy. I also saw they have matching pacis. Hmmm…? Does baby want Mommy to complete his outfits?”

She rubbed harder. I moaned.

“And then once he’s all matchy matchy, he wants to go on the waddle way doesn’t, he? He wants Mommy to show him off, doesn’t he?”

I exploded.

“Hahaha. Oh my gosh. You are such a little diaper loser. Okay baby. Mommy will show you off.”

She spun back around and checked her watch.

“30 seconds baba sucker.”

I hadn’t been focusing on my bottle at all. The rubbing. The teasing. The full tummy. I wasn’t going to finish on time. But all I could do was try. That might save me.

“Uh-oh. The bad baba baby is going to get punished.” She said sternly.

I kept suckling.

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and…”

I didn’t finish.

“Bad baby! Mommy gave you a treat and you misbehaved again? You can’t even follow the most simple instructions. Such a bad baby. Finish that bottle. NOW.”

She got off me as I finished suckling down the bottle.

“To think, I was being so nice to you. And you were just a little leaky loser who couldn’t drink his baba.”

As I finished the bottle. She snatched it away. She forcibly shoved the last one in my mouth.

“Drink. NOW.”

I did. She had my phone back in her hand. I could tell she was adding the matching onesies and pacifiers. But it was taking her longer than I expected. It really only should have been a few taps.

“Ok dumb diaper boy. I’m just putting the finishing touches on this little order. But look. I had another idea. You are going to be so matchy matchy for Mommy.”

She turned the phone around. She’d added the matching onesies and pacifiers. She also added all the matching cloth diapers. She’d added all the matching plastic pants. There was also a matching set of all the footed PJs.

“Does my baby love all his new outfits?”

I nodded. I kind of did.

“Oh also…”

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

“Mommy also doubled up that diaper order. Maybe that way we’ll have enough for a week of your stupid soggy pants.”

She just keeps proving how good she is at this. I exhaled and let out another river into my diaper. I was saturated.

“Hahaha. Super soaker baby pants. Oh my god. I can see little tinkles in your plastic pants. Leaky loser.”

She looked down at her watch.

“15 seconds baby boy.”

I wasn’t going to finish again. Not even close.

“Stop. Bad baby! Mommy is taking care of all your little dummy diapee needs and you can’t even finish your baba on time.”

She pulled the bottle from my mitted hands.

“Maybe this will help.”

She unscrewed the top and just poured the remaining liquid on my face. I trickled down my chin onto my chest and stomach. My footed PJs were unzipped down to my plastic pants. The liquid trickled down to the hem.

Click.

“Awww. Another perfect picture of my messy baby for our photo album. This one is adorable.”

She turned the screen around. I looked ridiculous. Half zipped footed PJs, gigantic diaper with pink plastic pants, and what looked like baby formula all over my face and body.

“Such a cute messy Mommy’s boy.”

She moved to the side of the bed and grabbed one of my hands. My mitten was connected to bed post strap again. She went to the other side of the bed and did the same with other hand.

“To think. Mommy was going to change that icky didee right after your feeding. Now? I’m not sure.”

“Mommy pwease. I’m sowwy.”

“Hmmm. I don’t think you are. You just keep misbehaving. No, you need to be punished.”

She stopped and pondered for a second. She started giggling.

“Are you weady for your punishment diaper loser?”

“Yes Mommy.”

She slapped the inside of my thigh. Ouch.

“Yes Mommy, what?”

“Yes Mommy, I weady for my punish.”

She started to cackle.

“Hehe. Ok baby. You are going to have to beg for your diapee change.”

Oh, ok. Simple enough.

“Mommy, pwease pwease pwea-“

She slapped my thigh again.

“Oh no. You won’t be begging me.”

She pulled out her phone again and went to the foot of the bed.

“You will be begging my friends to let me change your pee pee pants. Understand?”

Oh no. Not again. But I just nodded.

“Ok dumb baby. I’m recording. What’s da matter?”

“I wet my diapee Mommy.”

“Just wet?”

“I wet my diapee so much Mommy, I weaking.”

“Why’d you wet your diaper so much?”

“Because I wittle diapee loser?”

“Hahaha. Yes, you sure are a baby pants. What do you need baby?”

“I need my diapee change Mommy.”

“Oh potty pants. That’s not for me to decide. What do you want to say to the girls?”

“Pwease, pwease, pwease. I need my diapee change. I so wet. It uncomfy. I need a dwy diapee. Pwease. I do anyting.”

“Anything?”

“Yes Mommy, I do anyting.”

At that moment, my bladder betrayed me again and I flooded my already soaked diaper.

“Hahaha. See? He’s such a super soaker. Ok girls. What do you think? Should I change the dumb diaper baby?”

She put the phone away.

“Ok. Let’s see what they say you leaky loser.”

[stormieeessstoriesssss]

Daily Texts with Karasuno ^^

~Y/N Has been added to 'REEEEE'~ Y/N: What the actual fuck is this??? Suga daddy: I have no idea- Y/N: TF IS UR NAME SUGA? Dad-chi: Tanaka and Noyas fault Kiyokos Husband: C now ur blaming me 4 nothing is it cus i am hotter den u well its obvious bc im kiyokos but like wait yall ever wondered if a bird and an egg made a baby what it would look like RNVDFKNM<SMZDHFUscj Y/N: See- nothing in that sentence made sense- Tangerine boy: Hiiii Y/N ^^ Y/N: Hi Sho Sho! ~Y/Ns name has been changed to 'Mrs. Noya' Mrs. Noya: see ykw this is why you wont ever get a gf/bf and nobody will ever like u Big Dick Energy😜: Y/N dont h8 on ur huzban Kiyoko: Noya first of all what the actual hell is your name- second of all stop fucking with Y/N- third of all learn how to spell Crappy-Yama: Why is this my name? Salty-Shima: And why is this my name :\ Tangerine boy: Maybe thats just what you both ar- ~Tangerine Boy has been kicked from the chat~ Yacchan: Sorry T^T I kicked him!!! Mrs. Noya: CAN SOMEONE CHANGE MY DAMN NAME! Mrs. Noya: And its a good thing you kicked him Yachi ~Mrs. Noya's name has been changed to 'Grumpy Grinch~ Big Dick Energy😜: This better <3 Grumpy Grinch: I never thought I would say this but I perfer the other name- ~Grumpy grinches name has been changed to 'Mrs. Noya~ Man Bun: Guys I just woke up whats even happening Suga Daddy: I have No idea Dad-Chi: Were the only sane ones here Kiyoko: Yea- Yacchan: Me too! Yams like sog fries: I like my name Saly-Shima: Be quiet Yams like sog fries: Okay ^^ EnnoSHITa: What even is my name-? Kiyokos Husband: Uh i think its time for me and noya to go ~Kiyokos Husband has left the chat~ ~Big Dick Energy😜 Has Left the chat~ Mrs Noya: Oh helll nah im leavin too then- ~Mrs Noya has left the chat~

~Kiyoko has left the chat~

~Tangerine boy has left the chat~

~Suga daddy has left the chat~

~Man Bun has left the chat~

~Dad-chi has left the chat~

~Crappy-yama has left the chat~

~EnnoSHITa has left the chat~

(Technically everyone leaves the chat and cusses out Tanaka and Noya)

Yams likes sog fries: Where did everyone go?

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

SPEAK NOW TV | FIRST LISTEN

I finally got around to listening to Speak Now TV!! I still can't believe it's out. As I did with the previous releases, I will be giving you my thoughts at first listen...and then we can all discuss it and obsess/critique it. I will also be doing a ranking and better developed thoughts in the coming weeks, so stay tuned for that!

For starters, I love how crisp and clean the whole album — as does all the re-recordings — sounds, but also has its downsides. Taylor's voice is older, more mature — and she has achieved better developed vocals over the years, as all singers do. On the majority of the songs, I love it, but for some, it's losing the nostalgia, emotions and the slight pop/punk sound the old song carried. Along with the fake country accent — she will be missed for Debut, I'm not ready to talk about it. Warning, this is not me hating on the songs. I feel the same for WANEGBT and 22 on Red TV. The OG just hits better. 

Now, let's get to each song!

Mine: When Taylor posted on tiktok showing the vinyl, she used that song and it was so perfect because this album is the best thing that’s ever been hers. Now I can’t stop hearing it like that

Sparks Fly: Drop everything now! 

Back to December: I was dying to hear it after it was in the TSITP season 2 trailer. This song is so💜

Speak Now: Don’t you? The laugh. 

Dear John: I was so scared this wouldn’t hit the same 

Mean: Missing the fake country accent. I love that these idiots told her she couldn’t make it and now she is re-recording and she can prove them wrong

The Story of Us: I’M SCREAMING!! 

Never Grow Up: This hits different when you’re older. The first verse makes me think of my god-daughter. 

Enchanted: PLEASE DON’T BE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE!!!

Better than Revenge: I never saw it coming, wouldn’t have suspected it…the mattress line has been changed. I want to cry.

Innocent: This version holds so much more. Is she the Girl at Home of Speak Now?

Haunted: This sOG used to give me major auditory overstimulation. While the angst is not completely there, it’s still a favorite

Last Kiss: WHERE IS THE SHAKY BREATH?! 

Long Live: Hits so hard. I will tell everyone your name Taylor 🫶🏻

Ours: People are always hating on this song and I don’t get it

Superman: I can’t stop thinking of Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley when I hear this song

Electric Touch (Ft. Fall Out Boy): More pop than I was expecting, but still a bop. I wanted something more like My songs know what you did in the dark from the 2013 VS show. This performance is just chef’s kiss

When Emma Falls in Love: This song has my whole heart 

I Can See You: Pleasantly surprised with this one. I love it!

Castles Crumbling (Ft. Hayley Williams): I was expecting more of a pop/punk banger

Foolish One: This on guitar? YES. Also, do you hear the Enchanted melody in the pre-chorus?

Timeless: 🥹

[wonderousmonarch]

Kamen Rider Wizard Thoughts #3

This series is so silly

Episode 6

- I like to think Haruto has some magical way of tracking this donut cart

- bros in love

- wait is this a love demon?

- love is in the air? no! gas leak!

- are they dealing with The Rizzler this episode?

- HIS DONUTS NOOOOO

- I joke about his stupid belt but I do love his transformation so much

- wow his aim fucking SUCKS lol

- UNICORN! GET HIS ASS!

- uh oh. pretty girl doesn't trust the police (based) I wonder if she kills people

- oooh this jacket. I like it :3

- yep. she's stealing things from the people she dates.

- yep. she's scamming everyone she dates

- does Manami just flirt with everyone in a pink shirt

- love is in the air? WRONG! Pyramid Scheme!

- the ground just ate her

- I really want him to say "it's time to rock" when using his earth transformation

- GIGA DRILL BREAK??? god if only.

- "Hello Manami. I'm yellow now."

- do NOT let me become a Kamen Rider unless you want to hear the most marvel movie ass one liners you've ever heard

- he curved the bullet

- god I love this man

Episode 7

- is this bitch trying to get killed

- sad boys club

- get these sopping wet men out of my sight

- the stank ring. the ring that makes you stanky

- not that anyone can tell, but I do watch the whole opening every time. if they didn't want me to watch it they wouldn't have made the theme such a banger

- they need to get off the other phantoms asses. they're just vibing

- in-cop-etence

- the phantoms need a different strategy than the "fear of death"

- the nefarious concrete tubes. didn't they come here in Geats?

- rinko did you even try to stop her from leaving? it can't have been that bad

- oh. is she stuck in the past? trying to buy back her childhood home?

- ah. she was.

- the devious landowners plan to destroy her home

- see there we go! a plan that is actually going to work!

- man id be so good at this phantom thing.

- Haruto my goat. lock the fuck in

- he's getting whackamoled

- OH SCENT! THE FUCKIN

- YEAH!!! THE STANK RING!!!

- how is he going to kick him he's in the DRILL POWER!!!!! NEVER MIND!!!!

- oooh big fan of this combining ring abilities. the spell combinations go hard

- the classic orange filter to show it's the afternoon. this really is tokusatsu

- KEEP HER DREAM ALIVE!!!! LETS FUCKING GOOOOO

- oh my goodness phoenix is crashing the fuck out

Episode 8

- man it really bugs me that these two partners don't end on an even-numbered episode

- there's allegedly going to be a new magic ring

- oh. there it is i think.

- white bird! it knows how to open doors! how sophisticated!

- Koyomi's rock sense is tingling. it means the rock might be evil.

- uh oh evil lady found a child. this won't go well.

- the English subs for the opening lyrics like, almost work if you try to sing along? it's only a couple parts where they really line up and that bugs me. at least I could sing along with Ex-Aid's opening

- "the ghouls are out"

- I love the rings so much but I HATE wearing rings. my ass could never be wizard

- why is shunpei matching outfits with this kid

- ooh Haruto lore

- Phoenix aka mr crash out

- I wish a pretty snake lady would boss me around...

- I love his familiars. go my little guys.

- ah, the classic car crash victim. many such cases.

- OH SHE WAS THE NURSE! yikes man

- did his mom take away his X-BOX

- oh shit Wiseman is giving phoenix a license to kill

- ah. father issues.

- "because she knows me... and I'm a wizard." that probably sounded cooler in his head

- HOLY SHIT

- OH MY GOD

- NANSBFHSIWJDB

- ahem. Haruto, kick his ass.

- yeah the Phoenix guy is probably immune to fire. nice job Haruto.

- PUT THE SOG ON HIM!!!!

- he did not put the sog on him. this might be bad.

- oh boy Haruto's getting boxed. folded like laundry

- into the drink :(

Episode 9

- last one before I conk out

- y'know I haven't mentioned this but. I like the effect that Wizard has on his voice when he's transformed. Meteor had something similar (I think) but I think it fits Wizard REALLY well with how his suit looks. idk I'm a sound design major so I'll be commenting on parts of the audio experience as well

- RED EYES??? UH OH

- I think Haruto might be having a phantom problem.

- Y'know, Rinko hasn't shot anything in a while, at least give her some silver bullets or something. let girlypop be useful

- DID HE JUST PUNCH THE GLASS TO GET INSIDE??? WHAT AN ICON

- is his dragon summon... his own phantom? that's raw as fuck

- "he's trying to take away hiroki's parents for good... just like me!"

- the new ring is done :D

- Medusa could destroy my life

- bro came in to unplug their life support

- oh it was all a dream... or is it

- it was :)

- TELL EM HARUTO!

- this show makes me happy. im not confident in ranking it yet but I like it

- Haruto my poor baby. give him a big hug

- ooooh new ring :)

- is he going Dragon Mode?

- LETS GO

- not the ERROR....

- stop folding bro like laundry he's just trying to enjoy donuts and be whimsical

- oh fuck

- I am thou, thou art I....

- THATS RAW AS HELLLL

- BURN... BURN.... BURN BURN BURN!

- oh my god hes looking like a bottle of ketchup

- oh but the music.... oh yesssss

- HE COPIED HIS SWORDS MY GOAT

- "you don't have the chops to beat me!" *stabs him*

- DRAGON REALLLL

- holy shit the fucking T-Pose Beam attack....

- Medusa is all alone now :(

- oh nvm. he is a phoenix I guess

- episode good dragon strong I'm eepy

[separatist-apologist]

Are You Ready For It

In the middle of the night, in my dreams, you should see the things we do

Summary: When Elain Archeron's roommate can't interview wealthy business man and school alumni Lucien Vanserra, Elain agrees to step in.

Little does she know what Mr. Vanserra does behind closed doors.

Or what he'd do to her, if she'd only agree to let him.

NOTE: Since this is a 50 shades of grey re-write, there is absolutely BDSM inside. It has been re-written to include an incredibly amount of consent/discussion/enthusiastic participation. However, if BDSM isn't your thing, it's just not your thing. No shame in the game. There is also some light DV but that occurs from a villain and not between the main LI's, but it will be included in the tags on AO3. Please use discretion when reading.

Also I've never read 50 sog so my knowledge is based on what I've heard. This is more like 50 shades of orange

written for @queenofsilverfire and @sjmkinkmeme

beta'd by the incomparable @the-lonelybarricade

Chapter 1: Some boys are trying too hard

Read more: AO3 | 15k words

Autumn in Velaris was Elain Archeron’s favorite time of year. In between the start of the semester madness of a new year and finals, October was a personal sweet spot for the college senior. Elain was looking forward to the future, one that saw her on her own for the first time in her life. Her roommate, Arina, would be moving out of their little shoebox apartment to live with her boyfriend Jack and Elain intended to take over the rent full-time. She’d been working more hours for a florist, squirreling away everything as best she could in order to ensure she’d have enough to live on.

It was a small life but it was hers. 

Elain biked from campus to her apartment, a mere seven blocks from the ancient, storied halls of Velaris U. The majority of the people living in the four story walk-up where also students which meant at any given time Elain could hear fucking, fucking, and partying through the paperthin walls. Rent was cheap and the neighborhood nice enough though the trade-off was the landlord was not interested in doing any maintenance at all. The gray hallway carpet must have been two decades old and the paint was peeling from every wall. Inside the apartment, Elain ignored the creeping black on the shower tile, scrubbing it away only for it to return with the humidity every spring.

Housing was expensive and Elain, like Arina, was poor. Splitting rent meant they always had money for cute shoes and clothes and, when the mood struck them, a drink at the bar. Elain stepped inside to find Arina sliding on a tall pair of heels. She was a cocktail waitress at a local sports bar that exclusively hired hot, tall co-eds. Elain had been offered a job more times than she could count and chose to see it as a flattering thing, though Arina’s shorts were basically cheeky underwear with sheer black tights beneath and the top was an actual sports bra.

“Do me a favor tomorrow,” Arina began by way of greeting.

“Missed you too,” Elain replied, setting her keys on the dingy kitchen countertop. Arina winced, pulling her thick, blonde hair up in a high ponytail.

“I’m supposed to be interviewing some hot shot CEO type for the school paper tomorrow. He's a former alum and this is a huge favor. I can’t make it, Jack—” Elain groaned at the sound of Jack’s name, plopping onto the thrifted seafoam green couch. “C’mon. Don’t be shitty about Jack.”

“And Jack? Is he allowed to be shitty?” Elain replied. Jack, who was so far beneath Arina as a dropout, wanna be streamer with a paltry following of two hundred. Elain had more instagram likes on a photo of the sunset than Jack had views on every bad video he’d ever made. He didn’t work, mooched off Arina for everything, and still had the audacity to treat her like she ought to be grateful to have him.

Elain didn’t get it. Jack was mediocre at best and Arina could have modeled if she wanted. Men routinely stopped her on the street to ask for her number and had literal celebrities in her DM’s on instagram. Jack was pale and skinny, unwashed and foul-mouthed. He’d never liked Elain and the only saving grace had always been that Elain wasn’t willing to abandon Arina like Jack wanted. For four years, Elain had been Arina’s roommate.

She would have continued, but Jack was dangling the promise of marriage over Arina’s head in exchange for her moving in full time. Elain understood it—Arina would spend the rest of her life financing his life while he played video games all day. Jack lacked all of Arina’s ambition and drive. 

Arina didn’t respond to Elain’s question, turning plaintive green eyes on her friend. “Will you for me? Thrity minutes if that. I’m sure he’s way too busy. I emailed him all my questions this morning so all you have to do is repeat them for him, record his answers, and thank him for his time. Please?”

Arina, head of the school paper, wanted to be a journalist someday. Elain sighed.

“I guess I can give some billionaire the ‘ol razzle dazzle. What’s his name?”

“Lucien Vanserra. He’s got some fancy tech company.”

“Vanserra? Like the Senator?” she questioned. Arina nodded with big eyes.

“Yeah. His oldest brother is the state’s senator in D.C. So he’s well connected. Just give him some doe eyes—yes, just like that—ask your questions and you’re free for the rest of the day.”

“Fine,” Elain agreed. “But you know I lack all your charm, so don’t be surprised when he writes a very angry e-mail.”

Arina rolled her eyes, well aware that when men found charming about her laid between her legs. “Thanks for this. Gray called, by the way. If you want to call him back.”

Arina still had a landline, complete with an actual voicemail. She thought it was charming though Elain found nothing charming about the shrill ring of ruby red phone at seven in the morning. Gray was her very recent ex and not by her design. He’d ended things, saying he wanted to meet new people in the last year of their relationship.

And Elain was still miserable over it. He wanted to be friends but Elain wanted to be in love. She’d blocked him so he’d stop sending her memes because it made her too hopeful he had changed his mind. She knew he hadn’t—she’d heard he’d slept with some girl in a sorority that same night. He merely wanted to keep her on the backburner and Elain needed to patch up her battered, bruised heart. 

“Thanks,” Elain murmured, suddenly guilty she’d been so harsh about Jack. Arina only nodded.

“Don’t wait up. My shift doesn’t end until one am but I can never kick those shitheads out until three.”

Elain nodded, watching as Arina grabbed her giant white purse and marched out. Arina made twice as much money as Elain did on one shift, though the trade was men constantly tried to touch her breasts. Elain didn’t envy her that.

She spent the evening working on homework and watching television when she could take staring at her screen for a moment longer. She wanted to stay awake for Arina and was forced to give up early in the morning for bed. 

Elain woke in the middle of the night to Arina’s giggling voice and a man—Jack— stumbling their way through the apartment. Elain reached in the dark for a shoe laying on the floor and threw it at the wall.

“SHUT UP!” she yelled, earning exaggerating whispering and a distinctly deep, masculine voice that did not belong to Jack.

“You have a roommate?”

Elain dug out ear plugs just in time for the moaning to start. Grabbing her phone on the side table, she noted the time was three thirty. Elain wasn’t about to condemn Arina for a one-night stand even if she did have a boyfriend. Maybe this was the first step in convincing Arina to leave him. 

Still, Elain woke bleary eyed at seven am to shower and do her hair ahead of the ten am meeting with the tech CEO. Lucien Vanserra. It was the sort of name that belonged to some snooty fifty something named by some bored heiress who wanted her son to sound more european. 

Elain curled her waist length, golden blonde hair carefully, letting it tumble down her back before she spent an hour carefully applying make-up so it seemed as if she wore none at all. She knew those types—something about the name Lucien made her think he was the sort of man that liked natural looking women, when there was nothing natural about her carefully lined pink lips. 

Dressed in a green and blue plaid dress and nice brown heels, Elain grabbed Arina’s list of questions from the counter, a sensible purse, made her way out of the apartment. 

As Elain was walking down, Jack was trudging up. Blue eyes swept over her, a sneer curling over his lips. He always looked at her like that, like she was the most disgusting filth he’d ever seen though Elain had it on good authority she looked quite pretty.

“Arina’s not in,” Elain told him by way of greeting. “Early morning meeting with her advisor.”

“She didn’t tell me that,” he snapped. Elain only shrugged.

“Maybe she’s ending things. Fingers crossed.”

“Bitch,” he hissed, shoulder checking her as she jogged down the steps. It had hurt her feelings once, the way he so casually called her that. Now, though, it was nothing to her. Every woman who disagreed with him was a bitch.

And Arina had brought home a man that wasn’t Jack. For whatever reason, Arina had abandoned her deeply held loyalty and Elain would cover for her. Jack was just behind her, shoving her at the bottom of the landing with the flat of his hand. Elain slammed into the glass door as a result, wincing from the force.

“Clumsy bitch,” he grumbled, slamming the door in her face and kicking her bike as he passed. As if it were her fault he wasn’t getting his filthy dick wet at nine in the morning. Elain was pissed by the time she got on the road, made worse by shitty drivers in big cars that seemed to have a personal problem with cyclists. She caught sight of her face in the mirrored window of the Vanserra building, noting the purpling bruise along her cheekbone. Fucking Jack. 

She pushed it out of her mind for the moment. Get through this interview and then she’d call Arina and rant. Elain took a breath and plastered a smile on her face. Thirty minutes. 

The lobby was sleek and clean, all tinted glass windows and shiny, slippery floors. There was a coffee stand opposite the elevators and huge, potted trees to offer color to the otherwise very corporate lobby. She walked to the front desk where a pretty blonde in a headset stared at her phone.

“Lucien Vanserra?” she asked when blue eyes flicked to her face. The woman clacked long nails on her keys.

“Arina?”

“Yep,” Elain lied, flashing Arina’s student ID so quickly the girl couldn’t get a read on it. Not that she cared—that receptionist could not have been more bored if she tried.

“I’ll let him know you’re on your way up. Twenty fourth floor.”

“Great,” Elain replied, though it wasn’t great at all. She joined the crowd of nice suits and skirts all huddled around the six doors that would take her upwards, glancing at the mirror between two of the elevators. She would have been flawless had it not been for that bruise. It wouldn’t matter—she doubted he’d notice. It was merely a stain to her vanity and a reminder that Jack was the worst man she’d ever met. 

Vanserra’s floor was just as sleek and just as clinical. Laminate wood broke up the heavy, shiny tile from the lobby though the effect was hardly better. Another blonde at another mahogany desk was waiting with the same annoyed expression. “You’re early,” the girl told her. 

Elain glanced at her phone. Early by two whole minutes. 

“Sorry,” she replied, her voice betraying just how not sorry she was. Elain took a seat on a nice elegant couch, practically sinking into the middle. She had to cross her legs not to look ridiculous or risk showing anywhere the underwear beneath her dress. While she waited, she pulled out her phone.

Sorry about last night.

Thanks for not telling Jack. 

I don’t know what got into me.

Let me know how the interview goes. I don’t think I’m going to see him tonight.

Are you mad?

Elain typed out a quick of course I’m not, I’ll see you soon just as the blonde answered a shrill, ringing phone. Her eyes slid to Elain before she murmured agreement.

“Mr. Vanserra will see you now.”

Why did she make that sound so ominous? Elain gingerly rose to her feet, ignoring the irritated receptionist and her clicking teeth. Was it a requirement to work for the Vanserras that a person have the worst attitude known to man? Elain followed the girl, dressed in a nice pencil skirt and tucked in white top, through an open desk space where people milled about, working and talking and generally going about their day. It seemed casual enough despite the heels on the girl in front of her. Elain caught jeans and legging on more than one person. The whole back wall was a long window overlooking the city, allowing sunlight to pour directly into the room.

She knew the corner office belonged to Vanserra before the door was ever pulled open. Tinted glass made it impossible to see in, though she was willing to bet he could see everything. King of his domain, ever the micromanager. The blonde rapped sharply on the glass, her sour mood melting into breathless fascination.

“Mr. Vanserra? Your ten o'clock is here.”

The tall, leather backed chair swiveled to look at Elain understood what had turned the angry receptionist into a purring kitten. She blinked at the man staring back at her, his shoulder length, auburn hair loose around his chiseled, golden brown face. Russet eyes peered at her with clinical interest and Elain wondered how he’d gotten the trio of scars etched through his otherwise immaculately thick brows. A full mouth turned upwards in a polite smile and when he stood she found that he was tall, well over six foot, and muscular despite the suit that hid his frame.

“Thanks, Beth.”

“Of course. If you need anything,” she added, drawing a bewildered look from Elain. It was so openly suggestive that Elain couldn’t help her open mouth surprise. Was that how he ran his business? 

He didn’t react. “Of course.”

And that was that. Lucien gestured for her to sit across his desk in another large chair, this one with a seat firm enough she didn’t sink to her neck. Elain’s eyes glanced over the shelves of books and the table of neatly organized awards and diplomas.

“So. Arina Novak–”

“Elain Archeron,” she interrupted quickly. “Arina is my roommate. She was…sick…so I’m filling in.”

Why did he look so amused? He steepled his fingers in front of his lips. “Another journalist?”

“Botany,” she replied quickly. His smile faded for a moment and Elain knew what he thought. Young—likely no older than thirty—and rich, he’d imagined her coming to meet him. Elain reached into her purse for her questions while he reclined in his chair.

“What do you do with a botany degree?”

She shrugged. It was a question her older sister asked constantly. “Starve, I suppose. So, for my first questi—”

“What do you mean, starve?”

Elain looked back up at him, unnerved by his interest. “My sister always says I should have done something useful. It’s just a bad joke. I like making floral arrangements and event planning. Stuff like that.”

“Ah. Event planning for a wedding?”

Elain blinked. He was staring at her with such intensity that his words sounded sultry, like he was asking if she wanted to get married. Heart racing, Elain nodded. “Maybe.”

“My mother is remarrying. Maybe I’ll give her your number.”

“You don’t have it,” Elain said without thinking. A cheshire's smile spread over his impossibly handsome face.

“Easily rectified, I would imagine.”

She looked back at her questions. “Did you always know you wanted to–”

“This is the part where I say this was my dream, right? That I’m so fortunate to do what I love and I could never have done it without the education from Velaris U?”

“Is that true?”

He shrugged his broad shoulders. “Maybe I’m just good at conning investors out of money.”

“Spoken like a true nepo baby,” she said quickly without thinking. Lucien’s eyes went wide and too quick, Elain realized she’d crossed a line.

“I—”

He threw his head back and laughed, the sound dark and rich like honey dripping over chocolate. “That certainly didn’t hurt,” Lucien agreed, eyes sparkling. “Who taught you how to interview?”

“No one,” she breathed, so utterly embarrassed she could have died from it. “I’m sorry.”

He waved a hand, revealing a well defined vein just beneath the skin and a watch that made his fingers seem longer, the whole thing seem bigger.

She looked away. “I ah…do you think your education was helpful?”

“Of course,” he agreed as Elain quickly scribbled his words down. “Don’t worry about transcribing. I’ll follow up with your friend so she can quote me directly. I don’t trust you not to remind everyone I am not the self-made man the media makes me out to be.”

“Oh. Then I’ll get out of you–”

“Stay,” he said with easy authority, the sort that kept her rooted in spot. “We still have twenty-five minutes.”

“I’m sure you’re a busy man,” Elain insisted, though she didn’t move at all. Lucien watched her appraisingly, waiting. 

“Not too busy for a current student at my alma mater. And if you leave, someone else will come in to talk to me. So really you’re doing me a favor.”

Elain very much doubted that. Crossing her legs, Elain couldn’t help but ask, “Why did you decide to do all this?”

His eyes glazed over, wholly focused on her knee. She didn’t dare move, certain he was just thinking though it felt as if he could see what was beneath her dress. He cleared his vision and exhaled a breath.

“I’m good at it,” he finally told her. “And sometimes you’ve got to lean into your strengths, right? I was never going to be an artist.”

“Is that a hobby of yours?”

She wished she hadn’t asked. His eyes went dark for a moment, that sultry smile back. “Not quite.”

Elain didn’t quite appreciate the sensual tone of his words or the way he was looking at her like she was a meal. What would he have done if it were Arina who walked into his office? Suddenly the blonde receptionist and her flirty words made more sense. He was sleeping with his subordinates.

How utterly cliched. 

“Well,” she began awkwardly.

“Sit down, Ms. Archeron.” her murmured and Elain immediately plopped back down before her brain caught up with her actions. Something about him exuded authority. Maybe it was the suit draped perfectly against his long, muscular body. Maybe it was the confidence in which he carried himself.

Maybe she just needed to get laid and any man looking at her the way he was would have been enough to make her obey. Elain didn’t want to examine that too quickly. Lucien cocked his head for a moment.

Studying her.

“What’s your plan after you graduate? Do you have a job lined up?”

“Why? Are you offering me one?” she replied, thinking of his receptionist. He was so utterly transparent, so completely absurd—

Lucien laughed again. “Oh, I don’t think you’d enjoy working here for a moment. Alumni help students find jobs all the time. Why should I be any different? I’ve been thinking on how I could support the school—”

“Maybe a scholarship,” she said quickly, noting how his smile never shifted. “Since you’re so fortunate to have so much.”

“Do you have experience in such things?”

She shrugged. “Do I need to in order to care about people less fortunate than me?”

“Touche, okay. I hear you. You find me spoiled and arrogant, then?”

Yes. A flush crept up her cheeks. She was messing this all up. “No, I…”

“It’s alright,” he all but purred, leaning forward, elbows on his desk. “Honesty is better than ass-kissing, right?”

“I suppose,” she agreed, shifting nervously in her chair. 

Pushing his luck, Lucien said, “Why don’t you give me your email and I’ll introduce you to someone I know in event planning?”

He slid an orange sticky pad and a rather nice pen Elain’s fingers itched to steal towards her. She scribbled the email quickly, wondering if this was going to come back to haunt her. It would be nice to get some help. Her advisor was utterly useless, uninterested in Elain’s future career and she lacked connections that other students had. Everyone else was lining up jobs so effortlessly and Elain was floundering in her interviews. If this man wanted to help her, Elain decided she’d let him. It didn’t mean she owed him anything—in fact, Elain very decidedly would not repay him with anything he needed. He’d get a thank you like anyone else. 

He glanced at his watch, frowning at whatever he saw. It was just enough time for her to jump out of her chair before he could boss her into sitting back down. 

“Well…this was…” this was what? A waste of her time? The new highlight of her erotic daydreams? “Thank you for your time, Mr. Vanserra,” she decided lamely. He rose and oh God she wished he hadn’t. He was like a dream, something from a fantasy and not real life. Men like him, with perfect bodies and perfect faces and the good sense to know exactly what cologne to wear, had no business walking around in real life. He offered her a broad hand and Elain accepted. His skin was warm, his grip firm.

“The pleasure was all mine. I’ll walk you out?”

And though he technically asked a question, he spoke it like a command. Elain didn’t bother to respond, merely nodding her head. She was oddly conflicted—he was so bossy it was irksome and so handsome she was willing to overlook it. That was a dangerous combination. 

Though ultimately, it didn’t matter. Lucien pressed the button that would take her back to the lobby and then made his way to the reception desk where his breathless secretary tracked his every move. She leaned forward, breasts all but spilling from her top and Elain was forgotten. 

She tried to pretend it didn’t disappoint her a little. He was merely a man very good at making people feel seen and special. That was his charm. She’d read too much into the interaction and now she felt stupid.

Still, Elain reflected on the meeting in her mind over and over, barely aware of the world around her as she biked home. Elain flung open the door to her apartment to find Arina on the couch, dressed in yoga pants and a slouchy shirt. She was frowning at her laptop screen and for a horrible moment, Elain was sure Lucien Vanserra had complained about her.

“How did it go?” Arina asked, brushing wisps of hair off her face. 

“What did he say?” Elain asked too defensively, dropping her bag loudly on the counter.

Arina didn’t smile. “That you were utterly charming and to let him know if we need anything else. Filled out all our questions. In and out, just like I said. Was he nice?”

And it wasn’t worth telling Arina the utter fantasy she’d let herself imagine. That a man like Lucien Vanserra, a person likely surrounded by a parade of beautiful, available women, was interested in college student studying botany.

“Yeah. Totally normal.”

“Good.” She snapped her laptop lid shut. “I need you to do something else with me.”

“With you? Or for you?” Elain sat beside her friend.

“With me. I ah…last night,” Arina took a breath, steeling herself. “I fucked up last night and if Jack finds out…”

“Fuck Jack,” Elain said automatically, though she omitted what Jack had done that morning. She could never bring herself to tell Arina the true scope of how awful he was. 

“A man came in and he was so charming and he was in this suit…he smelled good and he wasn’t being disgusting…I don’t know what happened, Elain. I swear, it was like…it was like someone else took over my body. I just wanted to be that girl, you know? The one that an attractive man wants.”

Elain’s mouth fell open because Arina was that girl to everyone but Jack. 

“He seems to think something is going to come of that night and I just…there’s this party this weekend and he invited me. Come with me. I’m going to tell him nothing can happen but I don’t want to go alone.”

“Why not just text him?”

Arina looked down miserably at her phone. “I don’t have his number. I’m afraid he’ll just show up and it’ll cause a huge scene. Please? Just one night. It’ll have free food and drinks–”

“Of course I’ll go,” Elain said easily. “If only for free drinks.”

Arina put her head on Elain’s shoulder. 

“You’re the best.”

LUCIEN:

Lucien reclined in his office chair, manilla envelope in hand, courtesy of his friend and partner, Jurian. Slicing it open with his finger, he pulled out the documents inside. 

Elain Archeron.

The very first sheet was merely a picture of a younger version of her–likely eighteen, likely taken on her first week on campus given it was her student ID. Jurian didn’t have much in the way of information. Elain was so clean she didn’t even have a traffic ticket. He’d watched her leave from his office on a cute little green bike, replete with a bell and basket. 

Jurian had dug up some things she’d written in the paper for her friend Arina—all on plant care—a few pictures of her that had been added to the paper, and then her former addresses. She’d grown up in the midwest which checked out to Lucien. She had that sort of sweet, down-to-earth persona that was refreshing to someone like him.

He hadn’t been able to get her out of his mind since he’d last seen her. Just a day and yet when he’d gotten home he’d had to take his aching cock in his hand and pump one out just to get through the night. Lucien couldn’t recall ever being so affected to the mere presence of a woman. Not like that.

It was her eyes, wet and brown and wide like a baby deer. She radiated innocence and he wanted to put his filthy hands all over her and ruin her. He would have bet everything he owned on Elain being a wild, bratty little thing in the right circumstances. Lucien set the paperwork back to his desk, turning his eyes back to her email. He wanted to talk to her and had no excuse to do so. He’d lied about the contact—he’d have to find one, first, if he wanted to make that introduction. He’d merely sensed she wouldn’t hand over her phone number without a reason. Lucien remembered being a college senior and how stressed everyone had been about finding a job. She was no different. 

Of course he wanted to help…only his help really was centered around her naked body and his cock. She didn’t know that. Not yet anyway. He hoped she might, if he could figure out the right way to approach her that made him seem alluring and sexy and not like a fucking loser. It was a fine line and he knew it. 

His door banged open and Beth stepped in, blue eyes bouncing between his moron brother and him. Beth was so obnoxiously obvious with her hot for teacher eyes that Lucien was extra careful with how he spoke to her. He knew if he or Eris ordered her to her knees, she’d have done it without a second thought.

Maybe that was what drew him towards Elain. Nepo-baby. Fuck she was funny and more importantly, she wasn’t impressed with him at all. When was the last time he’d fucked someone that wasn’t hoping for an accidental pregnancy or that her pussy was the one that would make him fall in love? He just wanted to know what it would be like.

That’s all it was. 

“How young is too young?” Eris asked by way of greeting, before Beth had even shut the door. Lucien suppressed an eye roll at her obvious interest. Lucien waited for her to close the door before answering.

“If you’re asking, you already know.”

“I fucked a twenty two year old the other night. Jesus, though…if you saw her body–”

“It’s like you want a scandal,” Lucien reminded Eris patiently. “She’s going to rat you out–”

“She didn’t know who I was,” Eris breathed, pacing Lucien’s office to mess with all his things. Eris and his nervous, political energy and his utter control…except when it came to his dick. “I want to lock her up in my house.”

“Yeah, I’m sure the press would love that. Cut her loose—”

“She’s coming to the gala tonight. Come with me. I want you to see her.”

“I don’t need to see her. She’s too young.”

“There’s free alcohol,” Eris said, switching tactics. “And Jess will be there–”

“I don’t want to see Jess,” Lucien grumbled. What a stupid, old crush that had been. She’d broken his heart more times than he could count and still he always came back for more when she got bored or lonely or nostalgic. It had been two years without Jess. Lucien didn’t want to reopen that door. 

“Free alcohol then. C’mon. She’s bringing a friend,” Eris added. Lucien scowled.

“I’m not interested in fucking some twenty-two year old co-ed.”

“Jesus Lucien, what’s your problem?”

“I’ll go,” he grumbled. “What’s her name, at least? Have Jurian poke around before you start making declarations of marriage.”

Eris dropped into one of the leather chairs, crossing an ankle over his knee. “Arina Novak. God, Lucien, she could model, you should see….”

Eris’s voice trailed off in his head. Arina Novak. Elain Archeron’s roommate. What were the odds his brother slept with her the night before Elain came in her friend's stead. His whole body tightened at the thought of seeing her again, somewhere outside of work where he could be looser, where a little alcohol might lower her guard just enough to appreciate what he had to offer. 

If he let Eris know he had any interest, his brother would pounce. “Fine. But I don’t think a twenty two year old is a good politician's wife.”

“She’s got a face for television,” Eris disagreed, clearly pleased his brother agreed. “And a body for porn. You’ll see.”

And that was that. Eris left Lucien with that little piece of knowledge when he still had hours left of his workday. He got shit done, his mind constantly wandering back to Elain in her tight, flared dress that showed nothing more than her knees and buttoned practically to her neck. Her cascade of loose curls that fell down her back in golden brown waves and her fucking full lips, the sort he could not stop imagining wrapped around his cock while her arms were tied behind her back. Lucien wanted to see her on her knees so bad it made him sick.

He went home and fucked his hand twice before he ever made it into the shower. It helped, if only a little and by the time he was dressed in a white button up tucked into belted black slacks, a jacket thrown on overtop, Lucien felt sane again. Like a man firmly in control and not ruled by his stupid, needy penis. 

He left his hair around his face before heading out, checking his phone every eight seconds as if she’d text. Not yet. But tonight, he vowed. Tonight he’d work her into dinner, would lay the groundwork to getting her into his apartment…into his ropes. 

He was early as he rolled up to the hotel Eris was holding his little fundraiser in. Gala, as if this were a charity. Lucien jogged up the steps to the swinging glass door and made his way through the wide, open interior of the lobby. It was an old hotel made from marble and glass and crystal, back when craftsmanship and style were more important than towering, sleek skylines. He could appreciate the former—he loathed the latter. 

The ballroom had been transformed into something straight out of the roaring twenties, save for all the people in modern clothing. A massive chandelier poured soft light across white and black swirled marble floors. A long bar at the far end of the room was serving pre-selected cocktails along with the obvious beers, of course. Waiters in coats and tails walked about with trays of food they offered to people sitting at round tables draped in lacy white. A dance floor was cordoned off and though there was a DJ, the music could have come from a small quartet of violins. All very tasteful for Eris’s chosen crowd and the perfect, ambient setting for Lucien’s slow seduction.

All of which was interrupted by his mother. Swanning over in a pretty blue dress, she grinned when she saw him. “Lucien,” she breathed, kissing his cheek. He was sure she’d left a pink stain on his skin. “I was starting to think I’d never see you again.”

“You know how work is,” he replied, though in truth Lucien couldn’t stand that old house. Beron, his father, might be dead but his ghost lingered. No amount of her engagement to Helion could alter that. 

“Mmm,” she agreed noncommittally. “You know, Jess is here.”

Lucien saw her the moment his mother said her name. Jess, with her straight, dark hair and her wide, coal colored eyes. She had glossy lips and her tits pushed up to her neck. An hourglass body taunted him, reminding her of all the nights he’d had her trussed up, that mouth gagging around him.

The thought used to make him ache. Their eyes met and Lucien was surprised he hadn’t had a visceral response. He merely inclined his head before turning his attention to the rest of the room. 

“Jess is over,” he told his mother without hesitation. 

“Well, let me introduce you to…”

Everything melted when his head turned towards those open doors and Elain Archeron stepped in. She wore a tight red dress and matching red lipstick. Her sultry eyes were all made up so they seemed wider and darker than before and her hair—fuck, her perfect waterfall of curls—hung loose around her face. The barest hint of breast peeked over the top of the nightmare she was currently clad in, the hem cutting against her slim upper thighs. Lucien’s whole body was tight again, his cock stirring in his pants.

She’d come just as he’d hoped he might. Beside her was Eris’s tall blonde—gorgeous, to be certain and yet Lucien was immensely grateful his brother had kept Arina from coming to her interview. 

Elain’s eyes swept over the room, snagging on him quickly. He couldn’t help his slow smile creeping over his face and was stupidly pleased when her face flushed. She wasn’t immune either, then. 

“Another time, mother,” he assured her, stepping away without waiting to hear her protesting words. Eris beat him to the girls, walking them towards the bar like an utter bastard. Elain glanced over her shoulder, looking away when she realized he was coming towards her. What was she thinking, he wondered? 

“This is my brother, Lucien,” Eris said with a practiced smile. Lucien extended his hand to Arina first.

“We almost met, once,” he replied. “Nice to meet you for real.”

“Thank you for talking with us,” Arina agreed, her golden face pale and nervous. Lucien could see the writing on the wall, even if Eris could not. She hadn’t come to fall into his arms. She’d come to tell him to knock it off. Elain looked at her friend with expectant eyes. 

“We’ve met,” was all Elain said, her tone very much saying do what you came to do.

“Can we talk for a second?” Arina all but whispered to cool, confident Eris. Elain squeezed her friends wrist before she left, turning her attention to him.

Finally.

“We meet again,” he said, gesturing to the bar they were leaning against. “Want a drink?”

“With you?” she asked, her voice breathless. Fuck. He wanted to hear her breathless in his bedroom. 

“Who else?”

And Elain, with her unbridled audacity, looked around the room. Lucien knew, in that moment she was no mere submissive thing but a brat who would need a firm hand. The realization made his cock ache against the soft fabric of his briefs and when she wasn’t looking, hips angled towards the wood of the bar, he rubbed the heel of his hand against himself to adjust. No need to let her know she had any affect on him at all.

Breathe, you dumb motherfucker.

She frowned, eyes snagging on someone Lucien vaguely recognized. The senior Nolan had stepped in with his blonde wife and their reedy looking son. “Him?” he asked, not bothering to hide how indignant the thought made him.

“What? No,” she breathed, looking back ut Lucien with those fuck me eyes. “I just…I know him.”

“How?”

“We dated,” she replied, eyes pinching for a moment. Lucien turned to study the man—boy, really. He was handsome enough in an obvious, eighties movie villain sort of way. Lucien didn’t know the Nolan’s well enough to comment on what it must have been like, though just by looking at Graysen’s weak chin, Lucien knew he absolutely did not eat pussy.

Elain, he bet, could use it. Lucien could too. He was distracted by the thought, of her riding his face, panting in that soft, breathless sort of way. Lucien could make her loud, could draw her out, could torture her for hours, keep her on that edge.

Fuck, how he wanted to. 

“Sounds fascinating,” he replied dryly, ordering a neat whiskey while she continued to stare. Elain jerked when she realized he had moved on, her whole face impossibly tight…and bruised. When had that happened? While she ordered a vodka tonic, Lucien brushed his knuckle over her cheekbone. 

“What happened here?” he asked, noting she’d clearly tried to hide it with her hair and a thin layer of carefully applied make-up. He turned his head to look at Nolan, wondering if he needed to take him out back and beat the shit out of him. 

Elain’s eyes widened, her fingers swatting him away. “I fell.”

Lucien stared for a moment, letting her see how little he believed her. “Face first?”

“I…can be clumsy,” his pretty little liar assured him. 

Lucien reached between them for her hands. He’d spent enough time around his mother, perpetually covered in those same bruises, to know that people who fell threw out their hands to catch themselves and people who were shoved violently or hit unexpectedly had soft, unblemished palms…just like Elain. She yanked it back.

“It wasn’t him,” she breathed when Lucien rose to his full height. “Just some douchebag in my apartment building. No big deal.”

“No…big…deal…” Lucien repeated with glassy eyes, thinking of his own mother and how often she’d breathed those same words. “If you say so.”

“What are you doing here?” she asked, shifting on her feet to look at the clear, bubbling liquid in her hand. Changing the subject to shift his attention, but Lucien was single-minded. He’d find that dumbfuck and he’d show them what happened when someone bigger, someone stronger, pushed them around. He did not believe it wasn’t personal or even the first time. 

“My brother,” he nodded towards the pillar Eris was reclined against, talking to his too-young blonde. “Man of the hour, as always.”

“Does that bother you?”

He grinned. “No one cares if I stand here talking to you, so nope.”

Another flush crept up her neck. “Thank you again, for meeting with me. I know it meant a lot to Arina.”

“Sure,” he agreed, not caring one bit if he did Arina any favors. He wanted to know if she had enjoyed it. No way to ask without being a creep, so instead, Lucien added, “You should let me buy you dinner. Tomorrow.”

Her eyes were so big, her pretty, red lips parted. He had fight the urge to rub his thumb over her mouth, to smear it around her face. He wanted to see that lipstick stained against his cock and fuck, Lucien had to turn and face the bar completely to keep people from seeing the obvious bulge in his pants. 

“Dinner? For what?” she asked, the sweet little thing. 

“A date,” Lucien replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world—because it was. “I’ll pick you up…eight o’ clock?”

“A date?” Was it really so unbelievable to her he found her attractive? Surely that wasn’t new. Elain was easily the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen in his life. She outshone her friend and everyone else in the room without even trying. She had an effortless way about her and Lucien was willing to bet that when she wiped off all her make-up, she was just as cock-achingly stunning. 

“I uh…”

Lucien reached in his pocket for his phone, sliding it easily across the bar. She caught it on instinct. “Put your number in.” It wasn’t a request and Elain, without even realizing what he was doing, automatically picked it up and began doing what she was told. 

Good girl. 

She bit her bottom lip. Lucien resisted the urge to grab her by the chin and kiss her, forgetting where he was for a moment. 

“It’ll be fun,” he assured her. “No pressure.”

“I pay for myself,” she began, unaware of how much heat that filled him with.

“Absolutely not.”

Her fingers hesitated on the screen. “I don’t want to owe you—”

“You won’t,” he replied. He didn’t want her in his bed because she felt obligated over a decent meal. He wanted her in his bed because she was dizzy and sick with desire. “I pay for dates, though. You don’t owe me anything except your sharp wit.”

“As long as you understand I don’t have sex on the first date,” she told him firmly. Lucien almost demanded a list of men who hadn’t understood that. In time. 

“Very reasonable,” he agreed, not bothering to mention there would be a second date…and third…and on and on so long as the relationship between them remained mutually beneficial and fun. He’d explain it all tomorrow, he decided. What he wanted from her…what he wanted to give her. Start slow, start easy before working her into his personal playroom. 

Pleased to have her number, Lucien shot her a quick text so she had his phone number, too. “Feel free to text me anything you like,” he told her, letting some innuendo seep into his voice. She glanced up at him, eyes narrowing a fraction.

“You want memes?”

I want to see your pussy.

“I love memes,” he replied. “And conversation.”

“Noted,” Elain agreed, just in time for a red-faced Arina to stomp over, interrupting what was proving to be the highlight of his night.

“Can we talk?” she said, eyes cutting to Lucien with open suspicion. He merely waved the girls off, watching the sway of Elain’s hips as she went. She looked over her shoulder once, finding his unabashed staring.

I want you, doe-eyed fawn.

He’d have her.

ELAIN: 

Elain woke the next morning to a text from Lucien.

Good morning.

It wasn’t real. She didn’t know how to deal with some millionaire and his fascination. Had he really sent her a good morning text? She’d been so sure she’d imagined the whole thing, that she’d somehow stumbled into a hallucination that involved the absurdly hot Lucien Vanserra that Elain hadn’t even considered texting him, even when she left. She had immediately gone home to take a shower and perhaps alleviate some of the tension in her body beneath the pulsating water but she could hardly be blamed. After all, Lucien’s hands were so big and he smelled absurdly good.

He was going to realize that every time he spoke, all Elain was looking at was his mouth. She took a breath, inhaling strawberry and cinnamon scented air from the candle she’d been burning, mingled against the smell of burning, cheap weed.

Jack.

If Jack was around, the text was real. Elain was quick to respond good morning with a pink flower emoji before she stomped out of her bedroom in her sleep shorts and tanktop.

“Nice tits,” Jack said by way of greeting, staring at their television as he slammed around a controller in his hands. 

“Where is Arina?”

He shrugged. “She wasn’t here when I got here.”

“Then why are you here?” Elain demanded. “You don’t pay rent.”

“Bitchy as always, I see,” he replied. “Do you ever chill out?”

“Nope,” she replied. “Get out of my apartment.”

“Fuck you,” he retorted. “I’m waiting on my girlfriend and I have a key. Take your own bitchy advice, though, if it bothers you so much and go somewhere else.”

“She’s going to dump you one day,” Elain told him, practically vibrating with rage. “And you’re going to die alone.” He looked over at her with such obvious hatred that Elain yielded a step. “Arina’s not a dumb cunt like you. Heard Graysen was out again last night. Wonder why you can’t keep a man?’ 

“I’m going to tell her,” Elain whispered, the only card she had left to play. All at once, Jack exploded, flinging his controller against the wall so hard the drywall cracked. He rose to his feet, quick as a flash, to stand in her face.

“Tell her what? What a fucking nosy ass bitch you are? How you’re so fucking jealous that Arina has a man you try and sabotage it at every turn? Arina is going to figure out what a miserable, stupid bitch you are one of these days and cut you loose.”

“Maybe Arina will realize she could do better,” Elain whispered, her whole body shaking. 

“I hope you fucking die you stupid–”

“What’s going on in here?” Arina’s voice cut through Jack’s fury. Eyes wide and rimmed red, Elain didn’t have to ask if her friend had been crying. Elain took another step back and so did Jack, his fury smoothing into nothing.

“Just a friendly chat–”

“You said you hoped she died,” Arina pressed, clearly outraged. “Why would you say that?”

“Baby,” he tried but Arina held up a hand. Jack’s anger was back. “She’s fucking jealous–”

“Of what?!” Elain demanded. “All you do is sit here all day playing video games and smoking weed! You don’t work, you don’t help out! Why would I be jealous when you’re such a fucking loser!”

“See!” he tried but Arina was nodding her head.

“No…Jack…God she’s right. You’ve been saying for the last four years you’d get a job and you still haven’t–”

“My streaming—”

“Is never going to take off!” Arina interrupted, her anger burning hot. “I need help now, not for some hypothetical future!”

“I’m going to take care of you–” he tried, but Arina flung the door open behind her.

“Get out.”

“Arina–”

“GET. OUT!” she shrieked. He hesitated before ripping his system from their television so hard it nearly toppled over. 

“There’s someone else, isn’t there?” he asked when he had his things. “What’s his fucking name?”

“Common sense,” she whispered. “I should have done this last year.”

“I’ll fucking bet. I’ll find out, Reena and when I do…”

“You won’t do anything. That would require effort,” she snapped before shoving him into the hall.

“You’re a loose, ugly fucking bitch!” he screamed from the hall. “No one is gonna want you you fucking trailer park, daddy-issues cunt! Good fucking luck, Arina!”Arina didn’t react to his words, kicking her shoes off with a relieved exhale.

“You okay?” Arina looked at Elain, considering her words for a moment. “I think it took having a one-night stand with Eris Vanserra to realize how bad things were.”

“One night stand?”

“Yes,” Arina said firmly. “But it was a good night. He didn’t badger me one time and I know that’s like, a low bar but when I told him I didn’t want to do things from behind and he just agreed I had this moment of like, what am I even doing? You know? I feel bad I cheated on Jack but I needed to leave him. Eris gave me a reason, I guess.”

“And you don’t want to see him? He seemed interested,” Elain hedged carefully. Arina flopped onto the couch, nose wrinkling when she caught that stale weed smell.

“No. He’s in D.C. half the time and men like him never want anything serious. Even if he did, they don’t stay faithful. I see it all the time in the bar.”

“Lucien Vanserra asked me out. I won’t go if–”

“No, go,” Arina said, waving her hand. “Just be careful. He’s cut from the same cloth. He’ll always want more. Men like that know they can have whatever they want. Today it’s us, tomorrow it’s a different barely legal teenager. Have fun…let him take you somewhere nice, at least. Get a little jewelry out of it. Maybe a car.”

“Gosh, you make it sound too romantic,” Elain teased. 

Still, she was grateful Arina agreed and didn’t find it weird. The advice was a good reminder, too. Lucien was a grown man and so utterly unlike the other men on campus that he was practically in a different orbit. She couldn’t expect anything genuine or long-term for him. It was a first for Elain, who was so used to relationships that spanned years that maybe this was what she needed. Maybe she ought to take a page from Arina’s book and have a one night stand.

With that in mind, Elain put on the tightest black dress she owned, the one that just barely covered her ass and showed a generous amount of cleavage. She put a lacy pink thong on beneath and the matching bra, having shaved herself within an inch of her life. 

More tall, black shoes meant she won’t have to stand on tip-toes to reach his mouth and Elain took a chance and left her hair down hoping he liked that soft of thing. A sleek ponytail might have gone better, given she’d smoked out her eyeshadow and put red lipstick on again.

She strolled into the living room where Arina was still sitting, dressed down in sweatpants and an over-sized university t-shirt. 

“Jesus, Elain, why not take out a billboard that says you suck dick,” she said loudly, just in time for knocking on the door. 

“Want me to answer?” Arina teased. “Take pictures for prom?”

“Shut up.”

Elain pulled open the door where Lucien waited, eyeing the dingy, loud hall of her building with distaste. He was so ridiculously out of place she almost laughed. She wasn’t inviting him in, not when he looked so good in another well tailored set of black slacks and his shirt—blue, this time—was half hidden beneath a vest that hugged his muscular chest. He’d rolled his sleeves to his elbows and still had on the watch but it was his loose hair that made her felt wet between her legs.

Lucien couldn’t help himself, it seemed, his lips parting in a soft oh as he looked her up and down. “Ready?” 

If he was affected by her appearance, he didn’t let it show.

“Use protection!” Arina yelled just as Elain snapped the door shut. 

“No expectations?” Lucien tried to joke as she led him down the stairs. Elain watched him move, just a half-step in front of her. He was so tall, so broad…what was he like in bed? Was he the sort of man who relied on his good looks and didn’t think he ought to do any other work beyond that? Elain chose to believe Lucien lived up to the promises his big hands were currently making. 

“Don’t tell me you’re the sort that thinks clothes and consent are the same,” she replied, letting him jerk open the door. He looked down at her while she passed, his eyes so utterly dark she shivered.

“Your friend said to use protection,” he reminded her. “I just want to ensure I’m living up to your whispered expectations.”

Fuck he was so stupid and hot. “She’s just…”

Lucien’s smoldering look silenced the lie about to pour from her lips. Instead, Elain slid into the door he held open, reclining against the clean leather. His car smelled clean and masculine, like he’d just bought it that day and had sprayed himself quickly with a bit of his cologne. She wanted to bathe in that rich, spicy smell. 

Lucien jogged around the drivers side, folding his body behind the steering wheel. Elain forced herself to breathe, to act normal even though she couldn’t take her eyes off the muscle flexing in his forearm. Lucien cut a glanced towards, reaching for what she thought was her leg before he swerved and set it against the stick shift. 

“I don’t think you look like you suck dick,” he said after a moment and Elain, who had currently been imagining what it would be like to kneel between his legs, wanted to die. He’d heard that?

Lucien cleared his throat. “That came out wrong. You look nice.”

“Thanks,” she managed, just barely breathing. “You do, too.”

Lucien smiled ever so slightly, as if he knew he looked good. He’d be stupid not, she supposed, doubly so when they reached the restaurant and the hostesses eyes became wide like saucers at the sight of him. 

“Table for Vanserra?” His voice was smooth and dark and velvet, skittering up Elain’s spine before wrapping around her neck. 

“Right this way,” she breathed. Arina’s words rang through Elain’s head. What was it like to move through the world this way? To have people who always wanted you so viscerally? She imagined it was incredibly tempting and a good reminder that she could offer this man nothing but her physical presence no matter how fascinated by her words he seemed.

The interior of the restaurant was dim, with tables covered in thick white fabric and as far as Elain could tell, a pre-set menu. He was showing off, then.

Doubly, when she was taken to a rather intimate semi-circular table in the back. No chairs, only a long bench Elain slid onto and Lucien joined her on the other side until his leg was pressed against her own. She could barely think let alone speak which was just as well–Lucien ordered wine and other small plates for the table with practiced ease. 

He put one arm over the back of the book, drawing her closer against his chest and creating a bubble around them that made Elain’s whole body throb. He took a breath, brushing her hair off her shoulder. “Good day?”

“Yeah,” she breathed. “I uh…” She couldn’t remember one thing she’d done. Lucien chuckled.

“I feel the same way. You’ve been on my mind.”

She looked up at him and fuck, that was a huge mistake. He definitely caught the way her eyes zeroed in on his mouth, the way she tracked his tongue moistening his lips. “I have?”

Lucien cupped her face in his hand, the size of him enough to hold her neck, too. He brushed a thumb over her cheek, over the bruise she couldn’t quite manage to hide. “You made an impression, calling me an arrogant, spoiled nepotism baby.”

“I didn’t–I never—you–” she spluttered but Lucien dragged that same thumb over her lips, silencing her entirely. 

“Most people only want to talk about how wonderful I am.”

“I’m sure you have…good…qualities,” she replied, the pad of his finger still against her lips, salty from his skin. Lucien gripped her chin, tilting her closer.

“Mm, I suppose,” he agreed, lowering his face. He was going to kiss her. Elain felt electric, her skin humming with anticipation. 

Just like in the car, Lucien swerved at the last moment. “Wine?”

Elain’s whole brain went blank for a moment, trying to catch up with what was happening. Lucien reached for the uncorked bottle and poured two glasses of red. He offered it to her, watching as she took that first drink.

“Do you like it?”

No. Elain had never been much of a wine drinker. It tasted like wine—Elain had never been able to identify a difference between vintage and type. It was just wine flavored, sometimes sweeter and sometimes not. “It’s fine.”

“Do you prefer white?”

“I prefer vodka,” Elain told him honestly, a little annoyed he’d put his lovely mouth so close to hers only to pull away at the last second. “And a nice cider.”

That clearly surprised him. Good. Let him see that all the wining and dining wasn’t necessary. Elain would have been perfectly content at a greasy spoon. His money wasn’t what interested her, besides. It was his hands and how they’d feel running against her body. 

Not that Lucien didn’t try. He’d ordered on their behalf, watching her eat beautifully plated creations with a watchful eye. What did she enjoy? Did she enjoy the flavors, the textures, the presentations? No, no, no. In fact, every new thing was having the opposite intended effect. It reminded Elain she did not belong in this world, that she should never have agreed to go. What would likely have impressed a million other girls only served to make her feel inadequate. 

Elain had put a considerable amount of distance between them by the time the last plates were cleared away. She could see he was frustrated, unsure of what he was doing wrong. Elain bet this had worked a million times before. Instead of trying to escape, she ought to be crawling in his lap and calling him daddy. Some part of her still wanted to, of course. It wasn’t as if Lucien had stopped being hot. He was merely unattainable to her now—a fantasy better left in her head. 

Lucien paid while Elain checked her phone brazenly. It was universal speak for a bad date that would absolutely not be replicated, a shame given how wet the fabric of her thong still was. Lucien kept eyeing her, letting the silence drag.

She couldn’t help herself, so annoyed with him for his stupid date and all his money and good looks that Elain dug through her clutch, pulling out a mirror and her lipstick, repainting it against her lips while he watched her with dark, nearly rabid eyes. 

“Well,” she began, snapping the compact closed loudly. “This was fun but—”

“But nothing,” Lucien interrupted smoothly. “Stand up.”

And fuck, Elain did exactly as he told her to. Lucien rose to his feet, putting a hand on the small of her back to guide her back to his car. A valet had it pulled up and Lucien, still showing off, pulled a neatly folded bill from his pocket and handed it over without a second glance. Opening her door, Lucien’s expression told her he was not done with her and dinner was merely a prelude for whatever he’d planned next.

This time, Lucien slid his hand over her thigh and squeezed. A rush of heat flooded between her thighs, filling Elain with want.

“Where are you taking me?”

“What would impress you, Elain?” he asked instead, pulling from the road in a dark alley and cutting the ignition. Elain hesitated. “You hated every minute of that, didn’t you?”

She blinked. She wasn’t used to being called out this way. Lucien leaned forward, blanketing her in his scent. “Tell me the truth.”

“Yes,” she admitted. 

“What would it take to impress you?” he whispered, curling his other hand against her face. His thumb smeared lipstick over her cheek and Elain didn’t think she’d ever been so aroused in her life. She could feel her heart beating between her legs hot and insistent. 

“You can’t impress me,” Elain lied. In truth, she’d been impressed when he’d sidled up next to her at the bar and offered her nothing but his time and attention. Lucien knew it. One moment he was looking at her with his wild, needy eyes and the next his mouth was slanted over her own. 

Elain moaned at that first brutal touch. There was no polite first kiss, no slow seduction. It was as hot as he was, burning like there was fire just beneath his skin. His tongue swept into her mouth, hand tangled in her hair. Elain was electric, made all the worse when he yanked her into his lap. She leaned back, softly beeping his horn for all Lucien cared. He reclined his seat as far as it could go, forcing her to lay against him while he kissed her breathless and stupid. His face was messy from her mouth and when she pulled back to look, Lucien’s grin was feral and hot. 

“Did you make a mess of me?” he breathed, grabbing the back of her neck. He nipped almost painful kisses against her skin. “Am I making a mess of you?”

It was so utterly indecent. Elain pressed her hands against his strong chest. “I told you no sex on the first date.”

“As if you were going to give me a second,” he replied, skimming those same hands over the curve of her ass. “Besides, it’s hard to fuck you the way I want in my goddamn car.”

“Then what…” she trailed off when his hand slipped beneath her dress, brushing against her fabric.

“Soaked,” he taunted, lips back against her own. “When’s the last time you touched yourself?”

He rubbing her through the lace, teasing and taunting just enough to make her breathless but not so much he was giving her what she needed. 

“Last night,” she admitted, moaning against his jaw, her hips rolling against his hand. Lucien chuckled darkly. 

“Tell me.”

“You’re not the boss—”

Lucien tangled his free hand in her hair and tugged, exposing her throat. “Tell. Me.”

“Shower,” she panted, so obscenely turned on.

“Did you spray the water against your pretty pussy?” he asked, licking the column of her neck. 

“Yes.”

“All spread out?”

“Yes,” she whined, back to rocking against his hand. Lucien pulled the fabric apart, dipping one of his fingers into her body.

“What did you imagine?”

God she couldn’t tell him, it was so embarrassing. Lucien pushed and Elain couldn’t help the whimper that escaped.

“Tell me, baby. What was I doing to you?”

“Stop it,” she whispered and all at once his hands were gone. Lucien’s eyes were wide, his lust replaced by real fear. Elain ground herself against him. “I can’t say—”

Lucien kissed again, needy and hot, his hand back beneath her dress pumping roughly. His thumb rubbed against her clit, drawing out moan after moan. His tongue stroked against her own, his claiming, devouring her whole. 

“Was it this?” he asked, his voice a rasp. “Was I eating your pussy? Was I fucking you? Tell me, Elain. Tell me so—”

“Yes,” she agreed. “All of it.”

“Is that what you want?” he continued, each kiss sliding into the next. She was building, grinding in his lap. Lucien pushed a third finger into her body, filling her entirely with his touch, his claiming kiss. He curled those fingers, thumb rubbing tight circles and Elain came apart all over his legs and hands in a dark, abandoned alley. Lucien rode her through it, kissing hard until she was panting and sensitive. 

And then she was back in her seat while he wiped his hand against his thigh like nothing had happened. He restarted the car casually, as if she couldn’t see the large, heavy outline of him bulging in his pants.

“I—”

“The first time you touch me won’t be in my car,” Lucien interrupted before she could offer. 

“What will it be like?” she whispered. Lucien smiled, pulling them back onto the road. 

“Have you ever been tied up, Elain?”

Not really. Graysen had once bound her hands up in silk but she’d escaped easily. She suspected Lucien was not asking to do the same. “No.”

He nodded. “I have a proposition for you, if you’re interested.”

Still coming down from her orgasm, Elain was in a lusty fog. “What kind of proposition?”

Lucien gripped the steering wheel tightly for a moment. “I’m looking for a specific kind of relationship, Elain.”

She wasn’t sure she liked where this was going though she waited for him to just get it out. “I’m looking for a submissive. Do you understand what that means?”

She wasn’t stupid. “What sort of submissive?”

“In the bedroom,” he explained. “There would be…rules.”

She was certain he could deliver this information without making it sound so sinister. “What sort of rules?”

“I can send it to you,” he murmured, cutting a glance to her. “If you’re interested?”

“And if I’m not?”

“Then we part ways with no hard feelings,” he replied easily. “It’s not for everyone and I’m not in the business of forcing women into having sex with me.”

“But…but you won’t have sex without these conditions?” she questioned.

“Precisely.”

And Elain, who was perhaps not thinking entirely clearly and still far too interested in him, despite the disastrous date, decided to be bold again. “Send me your rules.”

Lucien smiled. “You got it, baby.”

LUCIEN: 

He didn’t hear from her all day. Lucien had his contract sent over that very next morning along with another good morning text. She’d said nothing at all, filling him with cold dread. Silence was an answer just as sure as anything and yet he couldn’t stop thinking about how she’d fucked his hand in his car and how it had still smelled like her when he’d gotten in that morning.

He wasn’t going to push. 

Still, he was in a foul mood when he returned home, throwing off his clothes angrily around his large bedroom. Phone tossed on the bed, Lucien paced restlessly. He could have had her all the same—he could have started out by meeting her expectations before easing her into it. He wanted too much all at once and Elain in that tight dress had made him too desperate.

Considering just walking it all back, Lucien went into his bedroom again where his phone screen was lit up against the black blankets.

My sister is a lawyer. I don’t think any of this is enforceable.

Of course it wasn’t. It was merely an agreement between them, one he could set expectations up front so there was no confusion later down the road. Not that things couldn’t be negotiated but Lucien had learned early it was better to just tell people what he wanted. Lucien liked to fuck rough, liked inflicting pain and he liked doing it to someone who wanted to take it. Clear consent, clear boundaries. 

Consider it guidelines, then.

He waited, staring at the blue bubbles on the other end. She’d read it and she wasn’t running. Lucien thought that was positive, over all. 

So you’d negotiate?

Fuck he would have done just about anything if she agreed. Still, there were some things he was unwilling to bend on—the submissive and the dominant roles being the most important.

Tell me your terms.

Elain was quick. 

I’m okay with spanking but no belts.

Reasonable. Lucien could abide by that. Still, he wondered if there was a middle ground as he texted:

What about paddles?

It took her a moment to formulate a response. Lucien appreciated how thoughtful she was.

Maybe. Ease me into it and we’ll see. How hard do you plan on going in the beginning?

Not hard at all, at this rate. He took a steadying breath.

We can start small, work our way into it. See what you like and what you don’t. 

He almost asked her to come over and find out. He’d tied her up with silk easy enough to escape and lick his way up and down her body. He wasn’t sure he wanted to fuck her just yet—Lucien was certain if he did, he’d compromise too much and lose the things he enjoyed, too. More bubbles from Elain.

How will you know if I don’t like something?

Lucien tapped out his reply.

We’ll have a safeword. Say it and I’ll stop. You have control, too, even if you’re yielding it. If you can’t trust me, this doesn’t work.

I barely know you.

Come over. Let’s rectify that. No contract—just conversation and whatever else feels good.

There was a beat and then—

Okay.

Lucien sent a car over, letting her know not to get on her bike given the lateness of the hour. Turning in a circle, he surveyed his apartment through the eyes of a new person. He hadn’t invited a woman over in…fuck. Since Jess, if he was honest. Not that he hadn’t had his moments in between but those were quick and dirty and never in his bed. 

Not that Elain was a girlfriend—Lucien didn’t want that. He merely wanted a reliable partner for sex, like a step above fuck buddy but step below girlfriend. Most women balked at that. He could see Elain finding fault with that, too, but Lucien had girlfriends in the past. Too messy, too painful. Jess had taken his heart out of his body and pulverized it beneath her immaculate shoes. No hard feelings, she’d said after sleeping with his best friend at the time. It hadn’t worked out with Tamlin but she’d almost launched herself into the stratosphere. Tamlin had money, power, and prestige without working for it. Lucien would always be working, would always be merely the seventh born son. 

Eris was too into blondes to ever give Jess the time of day. Still, Lucien hadn’t wanted a girlfriend before Jess, either. He’d merely romanticized her to the point of divorcing her desire to accumulate wealth and power from what he wanted her to be—someone who loved him for him, and not his last name.

He closed the door to his playroom firmly, though he intended to give her a tour if she expressed interest. He wouldn’t bring her in tonight…but maybe soon if she responded well to some light bondage and a small spark of pain. Lucien tied up his bedroom, changing out of his suit for a more casual set of black basketball shorts and an easily removed white t-shirt. He tied his hair off his face and left only ankle socks on his feet. Tossing his clothes in the hamper and his dishes in the sink, Lucien thought his space, big as it was, was obviously masculine and still tastefully decorated and inviting enough. It wasn’t as if she’d see much, anyway. The hall, the living room and the massive glass wall overlooking the city…but Lucien intended to veer her into his bedroom even if all she wanted was to talk. 

Get her used to coming straight here, at any rate.

A knock on his door sent Lucien scrambling, settling at the last minute to project an aura of cool. He opened the door casually, surprised to see Elain also casual. No dress and very little make-up. He could see the faint freckles on her nose and that ugly purple bruise still blotted against her fair, flawless skin. She had a bag shrugged over her shoulder which gave him hope. Dressed in skin tight leggings, slouchy boots, and an oversized top, he realized he’d been right that she was hot with and without the makeup. Had she put more lacy underwear on for him? Something to remove with his teeth, perhaps? 

She fiddled with the tail of her low pony. “I just brought the bag in case…I can go home—”

“No worries. Come in.” He hadn’t meant to leave her out in the hall ogling. 

Elain’s interest was polite, eyes wide as she drank in the large paintings on the wall and his immaculate furniture. 

“You know, the wealthy man who is a secret deviant is kind of a cliche,” she said, dropping her little bag by the door as she came into his bedroom. Lucien closed the open closet and the bathroom, having already closed the bedroom door. A mounted tv against the wall could provide entertainment if his hands and mouth could not, and Lucien thought it better if there was only them and four uninterrupted walls. 

“Oh yeah?” he replied, enjoying her sense of humor. “I’m starting to think you’re a brat, Elain.”

She sat on the edge of the bed, pulling out her phone to scroll through the photos she’d taken of his contract.

“It doesn’t say anything in here about being a bra—”

“You just are,” he interrupted. “I can work with that.”

“So I don’t have to be your docile little pet on a leash?”

“Jesus Christ, Elain.”

“I also see you want me on birth control–”

“I like to fuck raw,” was his explanation. “Go to the clinic and get checked out. I’ll do the same.” She blinked. 

“What’s the point of this? Is it like a NDA?’

He almost laughed. “I would prefer discretion, but I doubt anyone is interested that seriously in my sex life. It’s more like guidelines, like I said. I want to be upfront about what I’m looking for.”

“And what, exactly, are you looking for?”

Fuck. He recognized that guarded expression, her wary curiosity.

“Like a fuck buddy but with rules. As long as we’re doing this, we’re not fucking other people. No dating, no romance and if you change your mind, no hard feelings.”

“No dating,” she repeated. 

His heart pounded in his chest. “No dating.”

“You took me on a date yesterday.”

Ah, fuck. 

“That was different,” he tried to explain, unable to explain the relief cascading over her features.

“No dating is good. Great, even,” she replied.

“Because I’m so bad at it?” he tried to joke. Elain shook her head, toying with her ponytail again.

“My boyfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago and I’m sucking at getting over it. I don’t want another boyfriend…and I don’t think I would fit into your world, anyway. I’m always dating and maybe slowing down and figuring myself out and having a little fun without all the pressure of everything else would be nice.” Lucien’s relief was punctured by one sentence. I don’t think I would fit into your world, anyway.

He shook it off. “So…is that a yes?”

“It’s a conditional yes,” Elain replied. “I want to get a feel for it because I’m all in.”

She eyed the leather restraints resting against his headboard. 

“There’ll be none of that tonight,” Lucien murmured, though he very much hoped to spread her out at some point. Deciding he’d hold off on showing her the playroom, Lucien joined her on the bed. “Let's start easy.”

She nodded.

“The only thing I want to know right now is if you’re my good girl or if you’re my brat.”

Elain sucked in a breath, looking up at him with those wide, doe eyes. “What’s the difference?” she murmured as he stroked her face.

“My good girl lives to please me and a brat likes to push my buttons.”

“How would I know which one I was?” she whispered, eyes fluttering shut. Lucien wanted to kiss her. 

“My good girl would tell me how she really got this bruise,” he whispered, thumb rubbing over the hurt. “And I’d reward her for being honest.”

She exhaled against his palm. “And what would a brat do?”

“She’d make me pull it out of her.”

“I think I’d rather be your good girl,” Elain whispered, unaware of how immediately tight his entire body went. That was Lucien’s favorite dynamic, though he didn’t mind a little brattiness from time to time. 

Still stroking her face, Lucien murmured, “Tell me, baby girl, who hurt you.”

He waited for her natural resistance, for her to tell him some little lie. Elain opened those sweet, wide eyes and he watched her give in. Testing herself to see how it felt. Trusting this moment and him, too. If he reacted badly, if he flew off the handle or punished her unfairly, Elain would back away. He’d promised to reward her. 

“His name is Jack. He pushed me down the stairs.”

Lucien swallowed his hatred. “Is Jack the ex-boyfriend?”

“Arina’s,” she said, scooting a little closer. He could see, from the anger and anguish warring in her features, that Elain needed to tell someone this. He was a stranger, harmless to her. 

Ex-boyfriend. 

“No one gets to put a hand on what’s mine,” Lucien murmured. Elain practically melted at his words. She wanted to be taken care of which worked out perfectly well for Lucien. “Do I need to teach him a lesson?”

“He’s gone,” she murmured, some of the fantasy shifting into reality. He saw the wariness return. Too far, though Lucien wasn’t about to let it go. Not yet, anyway. Maybe he’d put it on Eris’s radar if he was still panting after the roommate. 

“You’ll tell me if he comes back.” It wasn’t a question. And Elain, the good little thing, nodded her head.

“Good girl,” he praised. “My good girl. I reward my girl when she’s good. Do you want to know how?”

Elain nodded, letting him push her gently to the bed. This was easy, was just a test run. He had every intention of putting her on her on her knees but first, rewards. After all, Lucien had promised and she’d been honest. Elain watched, heavy lidded, as Lucien straddled her hips. “Arms up.”

She did exactly as she was told, letting him pull off her shirt and find the lacy black bra beneath. He couldn’t help his smile.

“For me?”

She nodded, biting her bottom lip. Lucien dragged a finger over the fabric, teasing her nipples just beneath. “Take it off.”

Her back arched, pushing her body against his erection without meaning to. She sucked in a breath but didn’t stop, unsnapping quickly and sliding it over her arms. Just like that, Elain’s small, pert breasts were all but in his face. Naked from the top up, Lucien wasn’t sure he’d ever seen anyone half as sexy. Her hair tumbled around her face, half covering her from view. It was all he could do not to bury his face between them though Lucien wasn’t above a little groping. His hands dwarfed her, taking them entirely into his palm. Elain watched, her eyes impossibly dark, chest rising and falling rapidly.

“Are you going to be loud for daddy?” he asked because God he wanted to hear her scream. Lucien wanted to see her on her hands and knees and beg, but for now, learning that she needed to articulate what she wanted—and loudly—was enough. Elain nodded, still watching.

He licked the length of her abdomen, taking her pants in his teeth and tugging. She gasped softly and Lucien thought it was probably too easy to impress her. 

“When’s the last time someone ate this pretty pussy, Elain?”

She swallowed hard. “Um…”

He waited, sliding his fingers into the band of her pants to help shimmy them down her body. “I asked you a question.”

“I can’t remember,” she admitted, jumping ever so slightly at the tone of his voice. “A year, maybe?”

Lucien felt bewildered. “What about your boyfriend?” He said it with an ugly sneer. 

“He didn’t like it,” she said, utterly naked save for the matching thong. Lucien was obsessed with the thought of Elain dressing herself up for him, putting on cute little things only he could see.

Lucien lowered himself before her, slinging her slim thighs up over his shoulders. 

“No wonder you’re so needy,” he murmured, kissing her pussy through the fabric. “You’ve been neglected.”

Elain whined softly as he nuzzled against her, inhaling the sweet, musky scent of her body. What kind of man had this wet, soft creature in his bed and didn’t devour her? Lucien had been dying to have her pussy on his face since he’d met her, since he’d watched her cross and uncross her legs in his chair. 

Pulling her out of them, Lucien stared for a moment at her bare, soaking cunt. Spread open and quivering, Lucien couldn’t believe he’d put his fingers inside her and then drove her home. If he’d known how fucking sexy she was, he’d have had his cock in her, needs be damned. 

“Fuck, baby,” he praised, rubbing her clit with his thumb. Elain responded with a sweet moan. “So wet for me.”

He was toying with her, watching how she arched and wiggled. She’d come so easily on his hand, drenching his pant leg in her slick. Lucien had smelled her on his skin all day no matter how hard he’d scrubbed. Now he’d have her on his tongue every time he spoke.

“I’m going to taste you, now,” Lucien told her, breathing the words against her wet skin. “And you’re going to be really loud for me so I know what you like. Do you understand, baby?”

“Yes,” she breathed. 

“Yes what?”

“Yes, sir,” she replied. Close enough. Lucien would take it, at any rate. He hadn’t quite figured it out with her, though he was usually sir with the others. He was testing out the whole daddy thing, had always wanted that dynamic, though he’d never had a submissive who made it seem genuine. Elain looked so sweet, so innocent that it felt more natural. 

Tired of teasing and fascinated with the thought that there had been a man out there that hadn’t like eating pussy, Lucien slid his tongue up the length of her, just to see if maybe there was something bad about the way she tasted. He groaned, grinding his cock into the bed at the explosion against his senses. She was fucking good, better, even, that he’d imagined. There was a sweetness that clung to her that made her more than palatable. He could have bottled her and worn her like cologne if he’d had half a mind.

“This is my pussy now,” he told her, offering slow, languid swipes of his tongue against her trembling clit. “No one else gets to touch it. No one but me gets to taste. Do you understand?”

“Yes sir,” she moaned, grinding her hips into his face.

“Greedy,” he warned, noting how her eyes went wide. “Behave yourself.”

And fuck Lucien if she didn’t settle herself down, spreading her legs wider. One day he’d let her be wild, would let her do whatever she liked but today she’d do everything he said if only to prove this was a good fit for them both. 

“Good girl,” he praised, returning to his kissing and sucking. Elain merely moaned every time he did something that felt good and remained silent when he didn’t. It’s how Lucien learned she didn’t like the hard and fast flicks and didn’t like when he combined sensations all at once. She liked a steady pressure and the flat of his tongue stroking up and down the center of her while his fingers teased at her opening without actually penetrating. Her hips began to roll again, her moaning reaching a fever pitch. Lucien wanted to die, was so hard he couldn’t think straight. She was so hot, so wet and when Lucien pushed a finger into her gasping, sucking pussy, he was reminded that she was tight, too.

She came apart with a scream, writhing and grinding against his face until he pushed her back to the bed. It was enough to punish her, at any rate, though he rode her through it just because he liked the sight of her naked.

“What did I tell you about being greedy?” he gasped when she was done, catching her wide eyes filled with lust.

“Sorry–”

“Get up,” he ordered, stunned when she scrambled to her feet to obey. Her tits bounced as Elain stood at the edge of the mattress, her legs still trembling from her orgasm. Lucien reached for a pillow and dropped it at her feet so she’d have something soft to kneel against. 

“Take off my shorts,” he said. Her eyes sharpened, stepping towards him.

“Can…can I take off your shirt, too? Sir,” she amended quickly.

“Daddy,” he replied, gauging her reaction. 

“Daddy,” she breathed. “Please?”

“Yes,” he agreed, if only to be as naked as she was. Lucien was still struck dumb by the soft curve of her body, the flare of her hips and the pull of her waist. Her breasts were perfect, tilted upwards towards the sky and tipped with the rosiest nipples he’d ever seen. Elain was stunning, obviously gorgeous but every inch of her was somehow pretty. He didn’t know how to describe it any other way.

She was careful with his shirt, sliding up over his chest was careful fingers. Lucien swallowed a groan at this slow exploration, helping her get it over his head, given Elain was a good head and shoulders smaller than him. Petite was the right word, he supposed. 

Perfection.

She stared for a moment, hands at her sides. “Someday, I’ll let you lick,” he murmured, reaching for her wrists and putting them against the waistband for his shorts. “Something other than my cock, I mean.”

She gazed up through dark lashes. 

“Take them off and then get on your knees.”

Elain treated his shorts and briefs the same way she’d done with the shirt. Slowly removing, fingertips grazing his skin. Her eyes went wide when his cock sprang free, swollen and thick and practically weeping precum. Elain sank to her knees, letting him tug her ponytail from her hair and sweep the curls up in his fingers.

“Greedy girls suck cock just the way I like,” he told her. “And I like to bruise your throat. Do you understand?”

“Yes, daddy,” she whispered. He was going to come in five seconds, he just knew it. 

“Open your mouth, baby,” he ordered. “Be my good girl and stick out your tongue.”

She did so immediately, allowing him to wipe the beaded moisture of his slit against the pillowy soft tongue hanging between her lips.

“Swallow.”

She did, never taking her eyes off him.

“Good girl. Open again.”

This time, Lucien pushed himself into her mouth, stopping when he heard her gag softly. She barely had a third of him. He’d have to train her but Lucien had the time and the inclination. He’d bring her to work with him, put her beneath his desk, and have her work him root to tip all day like it was her greatest purpose in life. 

Dragging himself out, Lucien managed one command. “Suck.”

She did, hollowing her cheeks, eyes never leaving his face.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty like this.”

Elain didn’t say anything at all, though a flush of pleasure stole over her cheeks. She was a perfect submissive, he decided. Rough around the edges but eager to please and so utterly trainable.

Lucien practically vibrated with delight, holding her face steady to push himself into her. 

“Can you take more? Widen your jaw, baby,” he murmured, watching her gasp a quick breath of air before he pushed further, the crown of his aching cock hitting the spongy softness of her throat. 

“Use your hand,” he added when it was clear anymore would hurt her. He was holding himself back, easing her in, just as he’d promised.  “Perfect. You’re perfect, baby. Look at how pretty you are, sucking my cock.”

Tears slid from her eyes, dragging mascara with it. Next time he hoped she didn’t wear it, though he wiped it with his thumbs as he pumped in and out of her mouth. She timed her hand, using her saliva to lubricate his skin. 

“My good girl,” Lucien praised, every inch of him impossibly tight. He was clenching his ass to keep from coming though he couldn’t hold back much longer. “Are you going to swallow daddy’s come? Hm? Good girls swallow.”

She hummed her approval and Lucien groaned again.

“Good girl,” he said, increasing his hips until all he could hear was the wet sucking and gagging of her mouth. “Fuck, Elain—” he came with a rough, ugly grunt, pushing an inch further than he’d meant to. Hot ropes of come spurted from his cock directly into her throat and Elain, with on hand bracing his naked thigh, her eyes wide with surprise, took it all. 

He hauled her to her feet, game over for the moment. “Good job, Elain, you did so well, c’mere—” he kissed her, lavishing praise and soft touches over her skin. At some point he’d keep her as his submissive the entire time she was in his apartment but for now, Lucien let her slide back into herself, the part that sassed him back, at any rate. 

Lucien got her into the bed, pushing back the blankets and tossing her his shirt while he pulled on his shorts. The sight of her draped in his clothes made him achy all over again. 

Tugging her against his chest, Lucien stroked her hair.

“How was it?”

“A little weird,” she admitted. “But I liked it. I uh…it felt nice,” she said, nuzzling into his chest. 

“Good,” he murmured. “I’ll take care of you, alright? You can always stop–”

“Should we pick a safe word?”

They should have at the fucking beginning. He’d gotten lucky she hadn’t needed it. “Yeah. What do you want? Something that doesn’t belong in the bedroom…so don’t choose stop.”

She frowned. “How about vodka?”

He smiled, kissing her forehead. “Works for me.”

“Isn’t cuddling outside of the bounds of fuck buddies?”

“Nah. First of all, we’re  between fuck buddies and dating. Like…friends with very specific benefits.  And afterwards, you should get used to being taken care of, especially if something is painful. It’s just good practice…and I’m not above a little cuddling, besides.”

“What are you above?”

Lucien shifted uncomfortably. “Vodka.”

“Are you safe wording this conversation?”

“Yes. I don’t want to discuss what might convince me into a relationship. I don’t want one.” His voice was too hard though he kept his touch light, sweet. “Trust I won’t change my mind.”

That settled her.

“Well…just for the record, friends with benefits implies some manner of friendship. You could be open without worrying I want to date you.”

But Lucien didn’t trust that. He wanted to believe her because Elain was earnest and nice and had done everything he asked. He’d been around too many women with ulterior motives, who wanted to be a Vanserra more than they wanted anything else.

He kissed her head.

“Let’s watch a movie baby,” he murmured. 

She curled closer. “Whatever you want.”

Lucien smiled. 

“Good girl.”

[fishybehavior]

Ok this used to be my au list, but since its super out of date I’m going to add some stuff and make this my opening card!

Hi I’m Evan/Fishy, and this is my silly lil ninjago blog. It’s also my main blog so while its mostly Ninjago there are an abundance of other posts here! I like doodling and writing and having fun and making silly stories and creating angst >:]

blorbos are Kai and Jay (the skrunkly guys)

some tags you may want to know.

for my fics: #my fics , #my writing

my art tags: #doodle ,  #doodles , #my art

I talk about stuff that happens in life and share photos i use the tag: #evan has a life

under the read more i will have a list of some of my au’s, the list is not complete sorry about that.

AU list

AU’s with a ! next to them have nothing written for them, but I’m always down to talk about any of these.

Evil Siblings AU: Kai and Nya are raised by Krux and are trying to take over Ninjago

White Coats: Jay and Kai get kidnapped by doctors and get experimented on

Killer Kai: Kai is a serial killer and is a jerk about it

Elementals AU: The ninja’s powers are sentient beings that try to help them, but no one can see them.

! Here We Are in The Future: The main 4 (or 5) somehow go to the future and see how their lives are like 

Acronix’s Redemption: Acronix is good boi, and he knew all the ninja’s parents. Angst ensues

Kiddos: Ninjas are children, and Nya doesn’t like being the big sister. AKA reliving childhood drama

Carità del Destino: Cole works in his family restaurant, but he cant cook. He’s forced takes a cooking class and makes some friends/enemies?

! Law&Order: Kai is being framed for a crime, and the only one who believes him is his defense lawyer (or police profiler idk) Zane.

How he Got his Soul: (completed au) Basically Zane reveals exactly how he got his powers.

! Marching band au (working title): The boys plays in da band, and its chaotic.

Fishy AU: A dark presence has fallen over the ocean. There is something hunting a great power that can only be controlled by the power that's held in the descendants of the ancient sea witches.

The Prince and the Gecko: Evil Twink Jay, and Zane kisses a gecko. After being offered a deal, Zane falls into a new world of magic and curses, as he tries to break the curse of a talking gecko.

Whoops all avatars: There's been a mess up, now the avatar is one of three firebenders (Kai, Lloyd, or Jay). Who is it, and can they handle it? 

! Green means love: The power of the green ninja is the love the core four have for each other. FLUFF

! Lightning potato/g force Jay: Jay is a guinea pig. (with @anxiousworm)

Thceif [Thief au]: Jay is a criminal thief called BLACKOUT

Pack sticks together: The ninja’s are onis and refugees in Ninjago, trying to survive, and also messing around with human technology

Little bro Kai: Kai is Nya’s little brother, :P

Guitar Jay: Jay is a magically guitar that turns into a person. made with @lennon-cuddlywump (Techno au) 

SOG Kai: After getting lost in the time vortex Kai ends up with the SOG several years younger and with no memory.

Robot ninja’s: Instead of people, the ninjas are robots built to host the awesome powers of the elemental masters

Celestial au: The ninja’s are celestial incarnation of their powers

Non Bender au: LoK au, where all the ninja’s are in the world of avatar, but none of them are benders. 

Assassins au: the ninjas are assassins with Lloyd being their boss

Oni Soul au: Basically Lloyd finds the part of his soul that was split from him at birth.

Horizion Zero Dawn au: Kai accidentally gets a focus implanted into his brain and now must help a scrappy team save the world

Cats au: Warrior cats au. They do have powers, its pretty fun/wild

littol ninja’s au: The ninjas are each about 4-5 inches tall and act about 4-6 years old. They are being watched over by a kind person who finds them until they can figure out what is happeneing.

Racer Kai: Kai is a professional racer who is dating his mechanic Jay. Race fast and win

Storm Twins: Movie au, where Jay and Morro are twins. Morro is on the secret ninja force but Jay is not and he doesn’t know either.

elemental masters: Basically a reimagining of ninjago. Changed the magic system too (no tag yet for this au)

hybrid au: Hybrid people are being eperimented on, and Kai, a caretaker, has had enough and breaks out four hybrids, Cole, Jay, Zane, and Lloyd

bizzarro adoption: The bizzarro get adopted by Sensei Garmadon, and work on healing their unhealthy relationships to each other.

destiny au

underground au

Racer Kai

Runaways au

To be continued. . .

Ask blogs:

@pack-sticks-together : the ninja oni au

@whos-the-avatar : avatar au

[pokedash55]

Ninjobservation #1: Metalonia

Metalonia: Economic structure, culture, and other theories

So season 13 was AMAZING for cole development (my boy finally knows that he can move rocks at a distance I'm so proud), and apon rewatching it I noticed details about Metalionia and built a small theory about the land.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

So we get to see Metalonia from the questionable flashback of Korgran.

Here we learn a bit about the culture, garb, and architecture of Metalonia. They all seem to wear variants of metal armor, all with a particular emphasis on this pattern on the doorway above.

It seems this insignia is on most if not all metal from Metalonia, perhaps a national symbol or flag?

The chief we meet gives us insight on the economic structure of the place too.

"Son, why do you insist on speaking in third person? I know you think it makes you sound more barbaric. But all I hear is a lack of education"

This tells us alot.

One

No. There's not a Metalonian language. I figured since Metalonia may be far away (a twitter map endorsed by Tommy Andreasen says its really south), ninjagan would be a second language making it hard to master. But they speak pure ninjagan

Two

Fighter types like Karlof are lower class citizens. They have less access to education and are probably rather fighters or builders. Karlof mentions building from blueprints back home in ToE so it's safe to say he's most likely a blue collar worker. Korgran, unlike Karlof, insisted in speaking in third person to appear stronger and I bet It's actually quite offensive for the son of a rich man to purposefully speak like his uneducated people.

Theories/Thoughts

There is a cultural divide in Metalonia between old and new. Older pooer citizens like Karlof are more prone to fighting and have less education, but strong core values. He mentions in SoG that:

"In metalonia, it is not polite to scare weak man"

Barbarian types want the challenge, and I bet scaring the week would seem stupid and unproductive.

This chief and Korgran are richer. They seem more inconsiderate and brash, the father caring deeply with his son being seen as a lower class citizen and Korgran pretending to be the poor barbarian like a more traditional Metalonian without any concern for others. This richer man seems less likely to participate in fights outside, opting instead to count money inside.

Karlof is defiantly a low class citizen. He builds materials for selling and has a strong sense of structure and morality. He falls into a lower class mindset in economic Media Literacy Theories, believing the system cannot be changed and gives up on it easily. He never tried to escape by himself during ToE and HoT, instead accepted the fate and began doing whatever his captor told him to.

IS COLE PART METALONIAN?

Ever since I've rewatched Motm, I wonder about Lily's heritage and I think she's part Metalonian, or at least her ancentors are from that region.

Looking at his Grandfather (Master of Earth whom I’ll just call “Moe”), his garb doesn't seem like modern Metalonian outfits in the fact that it's not all metal. It has very similar belt structure and the helment and facial structure make me think he's at least from that area. We never see the master of Metal so maybe Metalonia is still a new forming country? This was 40 years ago so things could have changed wherever he is from.

Now lily has some interesting detailing on her statue. The flashback may show her has a ninja, but the statue is what she actually looked like as it was crafted by Geckles and and Munts after seeing her (I know some comics display her as a “Ninja” but those also have some inconsistencies with when Cole was born and I really doubt Lily wore Ninja robes originally judging by her fathers outfit).

Notice anything about the armor? It had that same swirl insignia on Metalonian metal and the same structure. It's hard to tell If she has any sort of helmet but the swirls on the chestplate and belt make me think Metalonia. Her father could have been a lower class citizen before the country became known for metal, since the youngest form of metal is rock (earth). He moved to the outskirts of Ninjago city to help the resistance and then had Lily sometime after the war. She would've grown up with ninjagan cultures and have normal speech, but would keep some artifacts from her ancestors weather she knows about them or not.

It's also interesting to note that Moe was quick to believe Chen's lies and turned on the alliances. Perhaps his barbaric and fighter class plus his poor education could've lead to this. Lily also has that fighting mentality, encouraging Cole to keep fighting and standing up for the little guys. It is, afterall, not polite to scare the weak in Metalonia.

I think it's also interesting that Cole was first to befriend Karlof and is usually seen when Metalonia is mentioned. He crosses paths with him in ToE, Wotd, and HoT. And in his own season he meets Korgran, who remarks that he will keep soup ready incase Cole would visit him in Metalonia. This metal/earth connection could be explored like with Nya moving the water inside Ice, Cole could learn to move the ground inside metal (Like Toph).

These are just some rambles though. What do you think? Could Cole have Metalonian heratige? Will we ever actually go to Metalonia?

[thebibliomancer]

Flames of the Dark Crystal liveblog pt 10

Flames of the Dark Crystal by J.M. Lee because I’m nearabouts a third of the way through! Oh yeah! Oh no!

Last times in book: Naia and co escape from skekSa the Mariner, although at the cost of Naia’s healing abilities, and stay a while at the Valley of the Mystics. The group is rocked by the revelation that the Skeksis and urRu share the same origin and killing one will kill the other. But a pep talk from urVa the Archer gets Naia freshly motivated. The Gelfling split the party to go handle lighting the last fires of resistance: Naia, Gurjin, Kylan and Amri to the Spriton and Drenchen; Tavra and Onica to the Grottan and Stonewood. Also, Naia’s interpersonal relationships with Gurjin and Amri are weird right now but Kylan remains best boy.

Chapter 10

Team Naia takes a nice walk through the Spriton Plains, discuss how difficult Maudra Mera is

The trip from the Valley of the Mystics towards Sami Thicket is a return to the more pastoral travel of the bits of the first book before the Dark Wood. A much more pleasant walk than the mountain highlands or the snowy areas around Ha’rar or the desert.

But its a little weird for Naia to be sort of retracing her steps. For so much of this novel series, she’s been heading into places she’s only heard of and relying on the directions of others.

Most Gelfling just don’t travel beyond the territory of their own clan and now that Naia has been all around, she understood why. Thra is a scary place and a wrong step could lead to dead Gelfling.

Also while they travel, Naia casually tries to practice healing on broken blades of grass or injured insects but the healing light always flickers out without success.

I’m still boggled that one can just up and lose an entire magic to their twin.

That’d be a good story seed.

Anyway, Amri asks Kylan how it feels to be back (possibly wanting to live a happy homecoming vicariously, there’s no going home for him currently) but Kylan says its bittersweet.

“This land is where I was born and grew up. But it’s also the land where the Hunter took my parents, and where I could never fit in with the other Spriton in Sami Thicket... I ran away. I suppose I never told you that.”

Bittersweet or no, the ease and confidence Kylan has telling Amri this gives Naia a smile. He’s come so far from the nervous best boy he’d been in the first book. He’d had his own POV book where he came into his own and found his courage.

Death world Thra may be but the Spriton Plains are nice. Its all meadows and flowers and fields of tall grass which does not contain any raptors at all.

When the suns reached their highest, Amri pulled on his hood and walked with his hand on Kylan’s back for guidance. Naia tried not to wonder why he hadn’t asked for her shoulder, when he always had in the past. Tried not to worry about why it mattered or why she cared when it was all the same in the end. Friends helping friends.

Naia has it baaaaaaad.

Amri has it bad too but that’s in a bit.

Having mused on how she feels alienated from Amri, its time for Naia to muse on how she feels alienated from Gurjin.

Which is prompted because Kylan decides to recap the entire book series for Gurjin’s benefit, who was not in the protagonist group for wide swathes of it.

As she listened to him recall their adventures leading up to meeting Gurjin again aboard skekSa’s ship, Naia felt almost as though he were telling the song to a stranger. Gurjin, her brother, with whom she’d been raised side by side. Her other half. Until the truth about the Skeksis had come out, anyway. Now she felt as though she hardly knew him. Was it because of everything that had happened to them since then? Dangerous, life-threatening things -- beautiful, life-changing things, too. Kylan sang of those things even now: While Gurjin had been held captive at the castle, Naia had found her wings. While he had returned south to Sog to warn the Drenchen, Naia and her new friends had traveled as far north as Ha’rar. Those great moments had happened to them separately.

It was all a part of growing up. And in doing so, perhaps it was inevitable that they would grow apart.

Aw.

What happened to the care-free himbo of yesteryear that Naia knew so well?

While she was having protagonist adventures, he was seriousing up as well but down a different road.

Alas.

Perhaps one day Gurjin will hug a spider.

The serious boy asks Kylan what Maudra Mera is like and whether it will be easy to convince her to stand against the Skeksis.

Kylan’s answer is ‘difficult’ and ‘difficult.’

“After my parents died, Maudra Mera looked after me herself, so I got to know her very well. How she is both in private and when she stands before the Skeksis. I know that she fears them, more than anything. Fears their power and their strength, and believes the best way to protect her clan is to do whatever it takes to maintain the Skeksis’ favor.”

Amri brings up that Maudra Mera was one of the maudra who blessed Seladon’s ascension to All-Maudra so if you think about it hasn’t she already sided with the Skeksis??

Kylan agrees and then immediately changes his mind and disagrees. Because, to be fair, Seladon was the All-Maudra’s eldest daughter so the natural pick for her successor even if Mayrin hadn’t been killed by the Skeksis.

He also points out that if something happens to Naia’s momdra, Naia will become maudra of the Drenchen. Which makes Naia uncomfortable because c’mon Kylan, you’re raising the specter of Laesid’s death here!

Also, she doesn’t want to be analogized to Seladon because she’s never met her but is pretty sure she doesn’t like her.

But it does raise a discussion on the problems with uniting the Gelfling, in that all the maudra seem to only care about how to save their own clans. They can’t fault Mera specifically when Fara kicked Naia, Kylan, and Rian out to protect the Stonewood. Or when Ethri was going to abandon continent with skekSa and leave the rest of the Gelfling to their drinkable fate.

“I think that’s part of lighting these fires,” Gurjin replied, staring into the crackling flames of their own little campfire. He leaned back. “Back at the castle, the guards came from all over. But even so, the Skeksis always had these ways of drawing lines between us. After Mira went missing, the Skeksis started telling everyone it was a Stonewood that did it. Sure enough, even though we all acted like friends the day before, everyone turned on Rian and the other Stonewood. Like they were all waiting for a reason... like we’d been taught to think of each other as different, even though we’re all Gelfling.”

SKEKSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL!

I mean, possibly all of the Skeksis but I think he mentions in the show that he does a lot of rumor-mongering to keep the clans distrustful of each other.

Sinister but effective are the Skeksis. As mentioned, most Gelfling stick to their own territories because Thra is dangerous for the unwitting. The Castle creates a place where the different clans mingle, which could create a dangerous sense of solidarity. So the Skeksis keep them at odds. Even before they started disappearing people to drink, it must have been something else.

And one of the things that apparently the Skeksis did was divide the Gelflings into clans and then set one clan above the others by appointing the All-Maudra from the Vapra.

I’m sort of raising my eyebrow at this because there are some stark physical differences between the clans. Like how the Drenchen have gills?

But it doesn’t rule out there being different kinds of Gelfing but them all being considered just Gelfing, just one unbroken mass of Gelfling, until the Skeksis went ‘alright you have gills? You’re the Drenchen now! Go live in the swamp, Shrek.’

(Might also be why the clans have such on the nose names? Lazy Skeksis.)

Or as Naia muses

The picture was growing clearer, like a reflection in urSu’s bowl of water as the ripples slowly stilled. The image of a fertile land, Gelfing growing like sprouts. One breed of flower with seven varieties, growing in a million beautiful colors. Then the light of the Great Conjunction split the urSkeks. The Skeksis, whose wise, cruel minds knew how to make the most of the Gelfling, their new loyal subjects. By plucking one of the flowers and declaring it the most beautiful of all.

This was the history of the Gelfling and the Skeksis. The Skeksis had charted the course and laid out the trail, and the Gelfling had followed it without even knowing. For almost a thousand trine, it had been this way. Now it was finally time for their ways to converge.

I like the implied imagery of the Gelfling being split as if through a prism, as the UrSkeks were.

Amri declares that even if Maudra Mera fears the Skeksis, dangit, they’ll find a way to persuade her.

BECAUSE LOVE.

Mera’s unhelpful behavior is like Ethri trying to abandon continent. Because she loves her clan and will do whatever it takes to protect them.

“She wanted to run because she loved her clan, and it was that love that gave her the courage to stay and fight. Remember? Amri caught Naia’s eyes eagerly with his, then blushed as if it were an accident before he pulled his hood down again.

Amri has it baaaaaaaaaaad toooooooo.

These two idiots are quietly pining for each other.

Mutual unrequited love, my god.

This, of course, goes completely over Naia’s head. In fairness though? In fairness, she has a lot of Plot on her shoulders.

Ethri and the Sifa. Periss and the Dousan. Even Tavra and the Vapra. She set aside her doubts. About the Skeksis and how to endure them. How to heal the Crystal and Thra. If she fixated on the mystery of the stars and never looked down, it was only a matter of time before she tripped. It was her friends that were right in front of her. Not the Skeksis or the Mystics or the broken Crystal. They were relying on her to find the path and lead them down it, and she would not fail them.

“It is that love that we will nurture in Maudra Mera until it blooms into a fire,” she finished.

“Well, we will certainly try,” Kylan said, plucking his supper from the fire. The rest of them did the same, and they ate beneath the stars as the Sister Moons crept into the sky.

Dangit Kylan!

‘Well, we will certainly try’!

Unthinking optimism costs nothing except objectivity!

[senseiwu]

From what I can tell the reason why so many people in the fandom latched onto Ronin is bc he easily would have fit into the wildly popular trope of 'gruff morally grey selfish world wise loner who only wants money has the walls around his heart worn down by getting roped into the shenanigans of a magical child with parent issues and realizes too late that he now cares about said children more than he has about anything since his tragic backstory happened', but the writers for whatever reason didn't commit to that trope fully, leaving Ronin in a weird limbo between 'enemy turned trusted ally and pseudo-parental figure with some morally dubious habits played for laughs' (helping the Ninja to his own detriment even after his betrayal in S5, teaming up with Jay and the others to fight Nadakhan in the final fight of S6(if you count S6 at all which I personally don't since it was all erased), being trusted enough to help the team move into their new base and dragging Nya out of a fight she couldn't win instead of leaving her to save himself in S7, all of his involvement in the Wu's Teas shorts which are totally cannon and Tommy can fight me over that) and 'mid-level scumbag the main characters deal with when the world isn't about to end' (literally hunting the ninja and hacking Zane in a horror movie worth scene in S6 (again, if you count S6 as relevant to anything after it), his whole thing in S14 and the out of nowhere animosity Lloyd and the rest of the team had for him despite his last appearance being him getting injured to help them fight the Vermilion (not saying he didn't do anything to earn that animosity in between appearances, but to my knowledge his only other appearance was getting caught by the SoG in S9. I haven't seen all of S12 or S13 tho, so I could have easily missed something).

Another huge contributing factor in much of his fandom love was that the 'magical child with parent issues' he seemed to be connecting with was Nya right when it was revealed that she had powers all along and was basically neglected by all the adults in her life who knew and could have told her, which felt like even more of a kick in the teeth since the entire reason she became Samurai X was bc she felt left behind by the guys and useless stuck on the Bounty not being a real member of the team. Combine that with Wu's kind of cryptic and indirect way of teaching her with the bucket thing not being a very good way of teaching the typically straightforward Nya, and Ronin coming in and being able to help her progress with her powers more quickly really seemed to lean into Ronin fitting into the 'unintentional and massively under-qualified but mostly well meaning father figure/crime uncle' trope (just want to make it clear that I'm not trying to say Ronin is a better teacher than Wu in any way, just that Nya seemed to figure things out better with being directly told to look at things a different way than with the bucket thing which I don't think will ever not bug me)

And, in a way, Ronin in S14 was both in character and out of character, since him being an ally or the villain of the day seems to be decided by a coin flip. It's like Schrodinger's characterization.

But yeah, tl;dr all of the appeal of Ronin as a character is that he had the potential to fit into a popular trope, the fandom took that and ran with it, and then for whatever reason the writers didn't commit to that trope but by that point he had been firmly cemented in the minds of many fans as 'crime uncle'. But that's just what I think happened

That makes sense, I s'pose. I'm not gonna be mad at people for liking him, he's just a fictional character, but I just.... can't bring myself to. I do appreciate that he has helped out, of course. That was very good of him (and yes, I do count Skybound as relevant. Even if the events got erased, they still acted how they would have, if that makes sense?). But I'm not usually a fan of morally grey characters, with a few exceptions (Morro and the main Sky Pirates other than Nadakhan, I don't know if Glutinous counts) I generally love the good guys. And I just... I can't get past the thing with how he was gonna take the sword, and ESPECIALLY not that freaking scene with Zane. That was horrifying to watch, and had it happened anywhere other than Skybound, I wouldn't blame Zane if he never trusted Ronin again. And then there's the part where he may have brought Zane and Pixal to Chen.... (I know that's not canon, it's from Shadow of Ronin, but...... Zane... my boy...)

It's interesting to see how he might play into a story, but that's about it for me, personally.

[peak-dumbass]

Thoughts on Sons of Garmadon cuz redesigns :]

Also instead of watching all of the season and then adding my thoughts later I instead took notes while watch the season so that’s why this post is incredibly long, sorry about that :/

Anyway enjoy :>

Sorry for the accidental posting and I don’t want to rewrite everything so here’s from the original post

Lloyd reading the title of the episode also caught me off guard the first time I watched this

Basically Lloyd caught me off guard entirely the first time I watched this

Also his eyebrows are now THICC

“Still thirsty?”

...

I can see why people like Nya a lot (._.’)

Nya’s badass and f—king love her

Also the water bubbles she makes look really nice

Jay mimicking Cole is adorable

The first time we see them after a year and the first thing we see them do is argue and disturb a group of people that took a vow of silence 

I love them

“Did I call you at a bad time?” They’re in the middle of a fight with the mechanic, what do think?

Also Pixal calling Lloyd “Master Lloyd” :’/

“Whoever said fight fire with fire clearly didn’t know what they were talking about.” “Hey, you’re stealing my lines!” I love you Kai

“Who likes ice cream? I do! How was that line Kai?” I love you Zane

Them teasing Lloyd for his deeper voice and them just genuinely having family fun bonding time just fills me with such happiness that I can’t describe with words :’’’’’’’’>

Misako abandons Lloyd yet again, and she was just starting to act like a good mother in Hands of Time >:/

Jay is not understanding a single thing being said to him, but at least he’s trying 👌

Their excuse for not mentioning the royal family throughout the series is “they like their privacy”? Really? Like really? Are they expecting us to believe this bullish-t? 

Lloyd seeing Harumi for the first time: Can You Feel The Love Tonight🎶

Now Cole’s the only one who hasn’t had a crush in the series he is so gay and the writers can’t convince me otherwise

Can I just say the lighting for the inside of the place is beautiful? Cuz it is.

Also I just realized Cole’s the only ninja that isn’t wearing sleeves on his ninja suit, that’s cool👌

Since Harumi’s natural hair color is white, does that mean she’s albino?

“The maskes must never be reunited” Says the person who reunited the mask >:/ I know she’s acting good here but still

“No thank you, I actually gave up sweets. My body is a temple.” The moment I heard that for the first time I was like “WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO MY BOI?! WHO HAS HURT HIM?!”

Lloyd, stop stalking the princess, that’s illegal >:|

“Don’t worry, we’re ninja, we’re experts at this kind of thing” They proceed to loose the mask, let their main villain onto their ship, and Lloyd gets a crush on her :/

Grade A ninja-ing right there 👌👌👌

I’m on episode 2 and seeing Harumi acting nice and sweet and connecting with Lloyd and knowing that she’s faking all of it, I just feel so so so so bad for Lloyd :’<

Cole, don’t try to give Lloyd advice about girls when you aren’t even attracted to them

Ok so I procrastinated a bunch on doing this for some reason so Yee, let’s continue

I’ve only seen Mystake for 1 scene and if anything ever happens to her I’ll kill everyone in this room and myself

Oof I’m now sad and realize why everyone likes her

Ok so we all agree the tea Mystake gave Jay and Lloyd to see the drawings move is weed right? Or had weed in it?

Why is Cole hiding in a garbage bin when Zane is using a perfectly good newspaper? Also oh boy can’t wait to see Rocky DangerBuff and Snake Jaguar in action :3

The way Snake walked into the bar Jesus

and I’m trying to watch this without skipping it cuz to me the whole thing is very awkward and I can’t stand awkward stuff like this but I also heard there was glacier so I’m gonna try to watch this without yeeting my phone and burying my face in my pillow

Chloe: Snake is gorgeous and we stan

Me: I know he’s beautiful look at him, he’s amazing

He’s bad boi and baby boi at the same time and I love him

Just added Cole into a scene with the ninja when he’s actually still kidnapped by UV so noice job Ninjago HQ 👏👏👏

Zane looks so weird in the flash of Wu finding him dear god

Stop bothering him Cole, let Zane Rp as Snake for a little bit longer

DAD COLE DAD COLE DAD COLE DAD COLE DAD COLE DAD COLE

Cad is what Cole would have named the baby if it didn’t turn out to be Wu cuz Cole + Dad

Ali: "Why cad?" "Its cooler than Chad cause you take out the h for hoe"

Ali/clumsy you’re a genius

”you didn’t think it would that easy, did you?”

Guys is weird to think that UV is 100 times hotter after saying that line?

Mommy UV vs Dad Cole, Mommy UV is fighting Dad Cole for the baby

Oof I remember what’s gonna happen to Zane y’all and I’m not happy plz Mr.E stahp plz

Mr.E to the SOG after he kicks Zane’s ass: Guess who just got murdered!

“Not all men-“

Me: You’re right, Zane Ninjago would never do this

Mr.E: I’m on my way, I’m on my way, I’m on my way to kick Zane’s ass :D!

Cole is Pearl from SU confirmed, he was staring at baby Wu sleeping

Harumi: Maybe we can use this blanket at a Parachute?

Lloyd: What do this is a cartoon?!

Lloyd proceeds to do the exact thing he said wouldn’t work

Also Harumi is the best actor I’ve ever seen like seriously 10/10 👌 actor, playing with Lloyd’s heart strings like she’s been doing it for years

“How to be a heartbreaker” is Harumi’s jam and theme song

SO I WAS ADDING MY THOUGHTS ON HERE AND TUMBLR JUST DECIDED TO BE A LITTLE B-TCH AND CLOSE ON ME BEFORE I SAVED MY THOUGHTS AND NOW MY THOUGHTS ON HALF EPISODE 5 AND 6 ARE GONE OOF SO I’M JUST GONNA SAY THAT PIXAL IS HAVING SELF ESTEEM ISSUES OR SOMETHING SIMILAR AND SHE’S AMAZING AND IT’S MAKING ME SAD THAT ALL SHE SEES HERSELF AS ASSISTANCE AND NOTHING MORE

Also Lloyd falls onto a few branches and gets a hurt arm that requires a blanket while Nya was at the front of the ship with 0 protecction and was basically yeeted to the main deck while it crashed into the jungle and she doesn’t even get a break?!

I know Nya is stronger than Lloyd but GOSH DIDDLY DARN I didn’t know she was that STRONK!

Baby Wu: “Ninja never quit hehehehehe”

The ninja:

Lloyd: Confused Green Bean Noises

Harumi: kisses him on the cheek

Lloyd: •////• completely forgets what he was confused about

Harumi saved by lovestruck Lloyd and boners

Cole to Baby Wu: You took care of us, it’s only fair that we take care of you.

Me:

GOD I LOVE COLE HE’S AMAZING

Harumi and Lloyd during that one waterfall scene in Episode 6:

Also Harumi’s backstory for why she likes Garmadon and hates the ninja including Lloyd, it completely makes sense cuz she was a child that over heard that the ninja didn’t do sh-t and Garmadon saved the city so it makes sense why she hates the ninja and believes Garmadon should be Ninjago’s leader, and since it happened when she was young she didn’t think things through, she didn’t think about it from the ninja perspective and especially didn’t think about it from Lloyd’s perspective cuz she was a child, kids don’t tend to think about the other person’s perspective on things, so I think it makes sense and it’s really good 👌 also this is Ninjago’s first main female villain, all the other ones were either second in command or were in a crew that worked for a bigger villain so yeah that’s cool

“Don’t you guys have any idea what she’s doing? She’s resurrecting Garmadon! Lord Garmadon!” Yeah no sh-t Kai, the name of their gang is “Sons of Garmadon”, of course they know and of course they’re ok with it why do think they’re helping her?

“Then it’s a good thing the Quiet One isn’t a bad guy but a bad girl” It doesn’t matter that Pythor, Chen, Morro, and Garmadon had dicc, what matters is that the greater evil didn’t listen to them dipsh-t.

Harumi screams a lot, like Princess Peach/Damsel-in-distress amount of high pitch screaming and I’m surprised Lloyd or the other ninja haven’t told her to shut up at one point.

a slightly dark room suddenly turns a little bit darker

Harumi:

Lloyd: Jesus even when I was a kid I had tougher skin then you, I know this is a little hypocritical for my to say, but grow the f—k up god

Ok woah woah woah, how did Lloyd go from “I didn’t tell you about the fact that I’m part Oni, Mystake only told me and Jay” to “You’re the Quiet One” like he isn’t wrong but how did he put it together in such little amount of time?

Ok this is how the Lloyd vs Harumi fight should have gone down:

Lloyd: Give me a good reason not do destroy it right now.

Harumi: I’ll give you 2. You want to see your father again and you love me.

Lloyd: HAH! While you busy being a heterosexual b-tch I studied the blade!

Lloyd kicks Harumi’s ass and the day is saved

Am I wrong? Lloyd only met Harumi a couple of days ago, it’s like Anna from Frozen but LEGOs

“Love is an open door” is Llorumi shippers theme song

“I WANT YOU TO FEEL THE EMPTINESS THAT I FEEL”

B-TCH HAVE YOU NOT SEEN HIS F—KING CHILDHOOD HE HAS MORE TRAUMA THEN YOU WILL EVER GET YOUR F—KING LIFE TIME!!!

I KNOW SHE IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER AND THAT SHE HASN’T SEEN HIS LIFE LIKE WE HAVE BUT DAMN IF IT ISN’T ACTIVATING MY PROTECC-LLOYD-AT-ALL-COSTS-AND-THAT-THIS-IS-TOTAL-BULLSH-T INSTINCTS

“Or we’ll have to get all ninja on you!” “What does that even mean?” “I don’t know I was improvising” Tbh that’s a mood Kai, at least to me

Lloyd: Guys, Rumi is the Quiet One!

The ninja who are currently surrounded by the SOG including Harumi: Oh really, ya don’t say?

Lloyd just got yeeted out of a waterfall so it sorta makes sense why he didn’t notice

Lloyd said I won’t let you get away with this and Harumi said YEET

They have Lloyd they have the masks and we have trouble

Baby Wu: Puppy!

that ain’t a puppy Sensei it’s a giant underwater scorpion monster

I forgot they tamed the giant underwater scorpion monster and named it Crabby, and Jay hugged one of Crabby’s claws, Jay’s favorite pet the ninja have ever had is Crabby confirmed

“So this is your true face without the mask, no wonder you covered it” Damn Lloyd is salty, LET LLOYD SAY F—K 2020

Chloe: Lloyd said "bitch u ugly" poetically

Me: Yeah, he got the saltiness from Kai and the poetic speech from Zane

“There was never anything between us”

One episode earlier

“You want your father back, and you love me”

One episode earlier

Harumi kisses Lloyd on cheek and proteccs him from the corrupted Samurai X suit

Me:

Harumi gets close to Lloyd

Me: KICK HER IN THE NONEXISTENT BALLS

Yay the most useful and totally not child abandoning character, Misako, is here and giving Lloyd information that he already knew and is being incredibly useful buy not only abandoning Lloyd for a second time in his life but also finding Baby Wu for the SOG Hooray

“Stop Rumi, this isn’t you!” B-tch you’ve only known her for a couple of days, and she has played with your heart, in dangered your friends, and tried to kill you and your friends on multiple occasions, and she nearly succeeded on killing Zane (though tbh Zane gets nearly killed every season so that isn’t a surprise)

“You were right, this isn’t me” YOU SERIOUSLY BELIEVED HE’LL FALL FOR THAT BULLSH-T AGAIN? AFTER YOU TRIED TO DROWN HIM AND HIS MOM WHILE SUMMONING HIS EVIL DAD FROM THE DEAD? HAH, B-TCH YOU THOUGHT!

“Stop. Save it for someone who cares” Yesssssss I love youuuuuuu by baby boiiiiii

Sees the arm coming out of the anvil-thing

Me: Terminator Garmadon? Also this is what happens when we complain too much, we also gotta be more specific people! We can’t ask for just Garmadon, we need to ask for Good/Sensei Garmadon or else we’ll get bullsh-t like this!

THE SCENE OF THE NINJA SINGING WEEKEND WHIP JUST PLAYED AND THE HAPPY WHOLESOME VIBES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Also there’s no way harumi gets the resurrection spell right on the first try, like no way, impossible, like she even gets interrupted by Lloyd and the ninja at the end and then Garmadon appears after that? Like I’m not a witch/wizard myself but I’m pretty sure that’s not how spells work? You don’t just start a spell, stop before the spell is finished, and the spell still works :/

Also how the hecc did Garmadon know where to find Harumi? It was never explained, he just like punched his way into the police station and was like “Yo b-tch what’s up?”

“I can turn him once, I can turn him again” ends up getting his ass handed to him and nearly dieing for the millionth time in his life

“That sounds like a really bad idea” “And Kai knows bad ideas, he’s full of them” Oof Kai just got roasted

“Lloyd, what are you doing?” “I’m sorry, Nya. I have to confront him” OOF HE REALLY DID JUST PULL A KAI DIDN’T HE

I’m not gonna quote everything Lloyd says here cuz there’s too much but DAMN HE’S REALLY PISSED OFF AND IS REALLY DOING A KAI JESUS

I know we all wanted Sensei Garmadon back but I’m ngl this Garmadon looks really cool and gives really good evil speeches to unmotivate his opponent

OOF Y’ALL REALLY HAD TO ADD LLOYD HOLDING OUT THE PHOTO OF HIM AND GARMADON WITH LLOYD STRUGGLING SAYING “FATHER” AND THE PHOTO GOING INTO THE WIND DIDN’T Y’ALL MY HEART CAN’T TAKE THAT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AND I STILL HAVE TO MAKE IT THROUGH EPISODE 10 WHERE I KNOW LLOYD’S HEART IS GONNA BE RIPED OUT OF HIS CHEST AND STOMPED ON WITH A SPIKED SHOE

F—K HARUMI F—K NINJAGO HQ F—K EMPEROR GARMADON F—K THE SOG JUST LEAVE MY POOR BABY ALONE

Y’all I don’t think I can make it through the next episode f—k man

Holy f—k I forgot Emperor Garmadon reads the title card in episode 10 oof

“Not so fast!” “‘No so fast”?! You used that ages ago!” True, it sucked then and it sucks now

“My brother is coming” “How do you know?” “I know” Dang even baby Wu doesn’t tell people sh-t

“You sure you’re up for this?” “I was married to him once, I’m up for anything” Ok so you’re saying that as if you were the one that was treated badly in that relationship and not the other way around like it should be but whatever floats your boat pal

“Careful!” “Are you actually doubting my ability to closely approximate the true value of our surroundings? I’m a nindroid.” Damn Zane is pissed

COLE LITERALLY JUMPED OFF THE BOUNTY TO CATCH BABY WU NOT KNOWING JAY WAS GONNA CATCH HIM AKA HE WOULD HAVE DIED FOR BABY WU I’M SCREAMING GOD I LOVE COLE

Ok so Lloyd you are excellent at fabulous/eat-a-dicc-b-tch exits like wow 👏👏👏👏👏

Also the scene with the 4 OG ninja and Baby Wu traveling to the first realm looks really really nice ngl

All in all I really really like this season, it’s great 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏