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jclie · 4 years ago

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— && guests may mistake me as ( elizabeth olsen ), but really i am ( jolie madison + cis female + she/her ) and my DOB is ( 7/29/1992 ). i am a ( musician ) and would like to stay in suite ( 314 ). i won’t be much of a bother because i am ( driven, audacious, & charismatic ), but i can also be ( perfectionistic, reticent & self-sabotaging ) at times. personally, i like to ( paint, hike, try new recipes & sing karaoke ) when i have the time to relax, and my favorite snack is ( chai sugar cookies ) to have in my suite.

hi everyone! i’m red, and the only excuse i have for this dropping so late is that Work Sucks and has held me up, but i am here and ready to love u all! rlly, what better to do with the remaining bits of summer ( and being awake, tbh ) than join this super cute group and put my intro post together? so yes, here is the 411 on jolie, with a more *~cohesive~* bio and stats page on their way — i am so excited to get to know all of your muses and begin interacting! i promise i do not bite so if you’re feeling brave, pop over in the ims, or, just wait me out, because i’m sure i’ll be appearing in them soon enough :~)

general info

full name: jolie drew madison

nicknames: j, jo, jojo (calling her this is a bit of a death sentence unless you have explicit permission), mads

date of birth: july twenty-ninth, 1992 (27)

zodiac: leo

sexual orientation: bisexual

birthplace: chicago, illinois

occupation: musician

hogwarts house: slytherin

mbti: enfj

suite #: 314

tw: drug use

past

born on a wednesday in chicago, illinois to a set of parents who had a very “informal” relationship to say the least — to make a complicated situation as cut and dry as possible, jolie’s parents were best friends with benefits. her mom wound up pregnant and decided to keep the baby. instead of jumping to some rash decision like getting married solely for the sake of their child, they decided to simply remain friends and split custody in the best way they knew how that didn’t require a mediator in the form of a family court judge. her parents remained close friends (and still are) once jolie was born; custody was weirdly split with jolie spending the majority of her time with her mom. they were an unconventional sort of family but a family nonetheless. dad does something with numbers (yes, think chandler bing), and mom is a local business owner.

as a kid, jolie never knew a stranger, and therefore had no trouble making friends once she hit school age. she was the kid who never found her niche group or “clique” because her feet were wet in several of them. school was not a miserable time for her. she had her friends, was a solid a/b student. jolie was a big perfectionist though, it not uncommon for her to beat herself up over something incredibly minute and self-sabotaging herself as punishment or because she didn’t know how to adequately process her feelings of anxiousness — she’d procrastinate, cut people off or drive them away, things of that nature.

music was always in her life, but it was a very casual thing in her world, situated on a backburner. it was something that she was able to bond over with her dad more so than her mom; her dad was a massive music junkie, loved sharing his favorite songs with her, bought her her first vinyl player when she was twelve and supplied her with every album under the sun, whether it was one she wanted or one of his favorites or just one he thought she might enjoy. she was in dance classes as a preschooler (this was an epic fail, because not even her rhythm could save her from the generally awkward disaster she is whenever she dances) and took piano lessons in elementary school, but she didn’t love either? she felt very restricted when it came to formal lessons, and almost needed the freedom to explore and learn it on her own terms — she ended up teaching herself guitar on her dad’s guitar on the weekends she spent at his place. there was also the 6 month stint her junior year of high school when she and some friends started a garage band (which jolie represses to a certain degree because the embarrassment it invokes is on another level) but it was mostly just an idea formulated from boredom and was something to pass the time, nothing really serious.

jolie found herself at a bit of a crossroads after her graduation. most of her friends were off to college but college did not seem like the kind of environment for her. she didn’t know what she wanted to do with herself or her life, but she knew she had to do something. so she pretty much copied and pasted what one of her close friends was doing at the time, decided to go to northwestern and share an apartment with her and pray that something would speak to her along the way. spoiler alert: nothing did. her first year quickly fizzled and faded for her and most of her time was spent going to parties, embracing the social scene, the like. nothing of real educational value.

she was still fucking around when it came to music; she’d met some people in one of her creative writing classes (the only class that she legitimately finished and enjoyed) and would go to open mic nights or other gigs around town. never meeting a stranger meant jolie was good at networking, making friends with other musicians — the more she spent time immersed in the world, the more she felt compelled towards music. she began writing songs that weren’t just the product of teenage angst (see: that awful high school band), even took a few music classes at northwestern.

by the time she hit her junior year, she was over classes and was pretty much only taking filler classes still, wasting her money while she bar tended at one of the bars close by. but she’d never felt more creatively charged; she was putting her nose to the grindstone in writing songs, recording songs in her bedroom so she wouldn’t wake up her roommates, playing gigs on her nights off work literally anywhere that would take her, and using those new-er friendships to her advantage. she had gained some local traction but things really didn’t explode until she started posting original songs online and got contacted by a few record labels. jolie was hesitant to sign with anyone but she got one of her friends in pre-law to help her look over contracts and pretend to be her manager and eventually signed. subsequently, she dropped out of college and went to work on the music thing full time.

from 21-23, jolie was pretty much doing nothing but playing festivals and clocking in hours at studios. most of her time was spent on the road and she absolutely loved it — she loved the music festival atmosphere, loved the crowds, loved meeting other bands and fans. she was pretty much touring on the few songs she had released, covers, and unreleased tracks from a wip, but it worked for her and it worked for the fans. she released her first album, ultraviolet on her 23rd birthday, and hit the road again.

jolie missed her “college” life with the parties and socialization at her fingertips, so she started elbowing her way into that scene while she was on tour — at first, it wasn’t anything to bat an eye at, but jolie’s limits were very fluid. being on tour was draining and the perfectionist in her would always find something to berate herself about, and getting out of her head was the only way that she felt she could truly enjoy the whirlwind success that was happening to her. the drugs started as a one-time thing, just to try it, and then she was using regularly, and then it got to a point where she couldn’t go more than an hour without a line of coke. the drugs stripped away a lot of what made her jolie and left her with a more miserable, grouchier version of herself where her highs were almost normal and likable and the lows were hell to be around.

she came off of ultraviolet’s tour and essentially jumped right back into the studio (she was beginning to break through in mainstream music, with her last promotional single off ultraviolet hitting mainstream radio and doing fairly well) for album #2. it was finished and ready to go, but by that point, the drug use had gotten to an all-time high and the constant turning a blind eye to it from her team was no longer possible. she ended up od’ing and that was it — there was an intervention in the hospital room, and it was off to rehab for jolie. album got postponed and she basically fell off the radar.

she didn’t really make a “comeback” until she was knocking on 26′s doorstep, and by that point she’d been in rehab, getting sober, and then laying low for nearly two years. by the time she was releasing her first single for the new album cycle, she’d all but scrapped the record she’d made before rehab and had something else put together entirely. she released wonderland, which did very, very well. she toured for it and it was wildly different than anything she’d done prior — venues were bigger, more fans, just a whole different circus all around.

probably the one thing she was more proud of than the music was her sobriety, and going on two years of being sober, not much else was important to her. she knew had a pretty black and white view of was good for her and what wasn’t, so after the tour wrapped, she decided to come home. she never pegged herself for the type to get “homesick” because her spirit was very much the wandering type, but she knew she needed to get out of la and nyc. back to chicago it was — which is how we get to the malnati.

present

she’s in what she’d aptly describe as “professional limbo” — she’s not actively working on any one project, she’s just kind of floating until she can find something to tether herself to, whether it’s a single song or an album or something else that appears on her radar. she’s just taking things easy for the time being.

career wise, think marina, l*na — more of a cult favorite than a mainstream artist. not going to get mobbed when she goes out and about, able to fly under the radar for the most part. as far as her music goes, i don’t necessarily know if i’ll claim any one artist’s discography and adopt as her own; in my head, jolie’s alt pop. think somewhere along the lines of hayley williams, st. vincent, tove lo, splash of the 1975.

personality wise at this point in her life: will charm the pants off of just about anyone she comes into contact with. flirty. a little goofy, hella sarcastic. there’s method to her madness even if no one else gets it. is still a little guarded when it comes to talking about herself. doesn’t mind talking about what’s happened to her but when it comes to the feelings and emotions as to why those things happened, she shuts down. it’s why she’s a musician: why talk about your feelings when you could just write them into a song and pretend they don’t exist beyond that, lmao. is the passive aggressive type, bottles things up and simmers.

being in the kitchen and cooking has been a tactile sort of therapy for her, especially in her hiatus years. she loves trying new recipes, baking at random (all) hours, sometimes likes to pretend she’s on an episode of master chef. she’s a dork, your honor.

has a thing for polaroids. she has a blank moleskine notebook that she has put through a total ringer, gluing polaroids and other little mementos onto pages as a journal of sorts.

has a stick and poke tattoo (among other professional ones) on her ribcage that she gave herself when she was sixteen. it’s a tiny smiley face.

her middle name came from her dad’s middle name (andrew).

if you want someone to go out with you at night (or during the day, she’s not picky) and just aimlessly wander around the city, letting things find you, she’s your girl. she loves a good adventure.

i headcanon jolie as predominantly dirty blonde/brunette lizzie? but she is also the type who has ruined her hair over the years over all the impromptu dying so... welcome to close your eyes and pretend hour.

plot ideas

this is by no means a comprehensive list of plots, just stuff off the top of my head that i’d like to see? again, i promise i don’t bite, so pls hmu if one of these appeals to you or if you just wanna brainstorm, i live for that shit!!

jolie’s a chicago native, went to college here, so 👀

meredith to her cristina — basically her best friend (not gender specific, either) who tells it to jolie like it is, doesn’t mind if she laments about how the world sucks every now and again, the person she’s calling if she needs help with a body

physically and/or emotionally, somebody who checks in on jolie and that she checks in on as well. we love a solid support system

exes — jolie’s a little bit (a lot of bit) of a player?? so i’d love to see exes that maybe didn’t end too hot, ex fwb or ex flings that never made it official, people she ghosted, exes that don’t want to get back together but don’t like seeing each other with anyone else, anything under that sun

jolie also is a Lowkey (read: highkey) commitment-phobe, but i’d rlly love for her to maybe have an ex that she was so In Love with that she was willing to push through it bc she saw herself with them forever..... and then, for reasons tbd, it ended, and it absolutely crushed jolie

someone who, on the occasion of needing to scratch an itch, is very good about getting the job done. it’s casual sex. there are zero romantic feelings involved, there is no getting jealous when the other person finds a relationship, the two are just good friends who have seen (and will probably continue to see) each other naked #yeehaw

maybe someone who was at one of jolie’s gigs when she was still playing bars that she bought a drink and kept in touch with or smth? or someone she met when she was still predominately playing small sets at festivals? idk i’m rambling someone stop me

a “muse”??? like, someone jolie is fascinated with / inspired by and she finds herself writing songs about / for

gimme someone who’s like an acquaintance at best, they’ve maybe got mutual friends and therefore they hang out a bit but they’re always arguing with one another for whatever reason (they both probably annoy each other) but they’ve got mad sexual tension going on? maybe they act on it, maybe they don’t, but either way, they lowkey enjoy the bantering and being at one another’s throats even if they act otherwise

jolie is a night owl, so... gimme someone who she can turn up at their room at some unholy hour (or that turns up at her room at said unholy hour) and watch a movie with or make a mess of the kitchen from fixing a premature breakfast

maybe someone who knew jolie when she was not in a good place?? and things are still v much tense / unresolved between them for whatever reason

and stuff for the event omg PLS *makes grabby hands*

#malnatiintro #malnatiooc #drugs tw #tw drugs #not sure what to tag so here's ALL the tags lmao

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robronsecretvalentine · 6 years ago

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Still a Flicker of Hope That You First Gave to Me

For @howellobrien

Happy valentines! when i was told you were my secret valentine’s i knew i had to do this justice, because you’re one of my favourite people ever, so i really hope you enjoyed it💘

Aaron’s future comes to him at a time he needs it the most. or, a valentines day fic, with a twist. warnings for aaron’s attempting suicide and vague mentions of gordon. promise it has a happy ending!

He didn’t have anything to live for. His life was over, as far as Aaron was concerned. Now, too many people had discovered his darkest secret, the one he had tried for so long to repress and he didn’t want to be alive when any more people found out. Now they knew, he would never be able to live a normal life again. It would always go unspoken, that Aaron liked boys – not girls. He could practically hear the whispers already, his mind going a million miles an hour, flashes of images of whispering villagers invading his mind, the disappointment and disgust evident on their faces.

It was for the best. This was for the best. Aaron locked the garage doors shut, made sure that no chemicals could leave the confined space and got into the car, turning the engine on and tilting his head back, just as though he was ready to fall asleep. At ease, he seemed, with teardrops staining his face.

This was really it, then. The end. Eighteen whole years, torn away in this clapped out old car, hidden away in his uncles garage. He shut his eyes and let the fumes take over his body, his chest rising up and down and up and down. If this was any other situation, Aaron would let sleep consume him, and he’d fall into a deep sleep, his brain ticking over with dreams, perfect dreams. Instead, Aaron was ready to give up on his life, and with his eyes shut and his nose streaming from the stench of the fumes, his mind worked overtime and suddenly, the life he could have was shown before his eyes.

First, was Jackson. He could see a lot of emotions with this: happy times, but also tear stricken faces. The word ‘love’ seemed to be thrown about a lot, Aaron on the receiving end of it. That couldn’t be true. Nobody would ever love Aaron, because Aaron was incapable of loving himself. It just seemed like a piece of far fetched imagination, like it would never happen, but as Aaron lay there, more and more things began to piece together in his mind. Eating with his mum and Carl, Jackson by his side; shared kisses; nights out in Bar West; hospitals; tears; Jackson in a wheelchair. It wasn’t a perfect life, by any stretch of the imagination – but it was one with Aaron still breathing, against the odds.

With Jackson, Aaron was open. He saw villagers he recognised, ones that had never said more than a word to him, and they were all happy for him. It seemed as though the angry at the world teenager wasn’t there so much anymore, and everyone appreciated that. Although, towards the end, Aaron was angry again, tears streaming down his face and producing somewhat of a beard. It seemed as though his life was worse than now, with the fumes seeping into his body and Aaron already struggling to breathe normally.

Next, was Ed. This was a weird one, because everything seemed to happen in quick succession. Aaron saw feelings he’d never experienced before, and he wasn’t exactly sure what they were. He saw a fire, the farm, a plane. It was never on Aaron’s radar to go travelling the world, so this was strange. He saw hugs with his mum and Paddy, the police and running from them. He saw France, the architecture and the food and the nightlife and never saw his family.

With Ed, Aaron laughed until he cried, and then he cried a lot. There was slamming doors and tantrums and fists through walls and then Aaron was packing a bag and running away in the middle of the night. He was stuck in France, it seemed, moving from cheap hotel to cheap hotel, earning a few Euros here and there, taking cleaning jobs where people didn’t seem to ask much about him.

Aaron struggled to breathe even more now, his chest heavy, like bricks were stacked up upon him. It was as though, with every tenth breath he managed to take, his chest finally managed to protrude, but then more fumes entered his body, Aaron’s mind going all foggy.

Then it was Robert. All blond hair and cheeky grins, a far cry from anyone Aaron thought he’d ever be with. He wore suits and smart clothes and Aaron’s fashion was at the other end of the spectrum, barely so much as skinny jeans in sight. This was so much more, in every sense of the word. Aaron could see a lot of pain and anguish, but also could see just how much happier Robert made him. He could see it in the smile on his face, the warmth he could feel in every kiss, in every hug. He could hear it in every laugh, or every groan at an awful joke that left Aaron chuckling in complete and utter disappointment. He saw posh hotels and suits that Aaron actually wore, and soft kisses and Robert holding his hand. He saw the inside of a court house, Robert running his thumb over his hand and heard the word ‘guilty’ and the gavel hitting wood. He saw a new house, one that became his home, and weddings for the two of them. That didn’t seem possible for Aaron, that he would find someone that not only he loved, but who loved him enough to want to put a ring on his finger, tell everyone they knew how he felt, and sign a bit of paper that bound them together – for life.

But this was enough to keep Aaron hanging on. He felt weak, couldn’t move, and as his brain ticked he wished someone would come and rescue him. Aaron dropped out of consciousness and his head lolled to the side as a loud crash rung out, Adam kicking the garage door down and screaming out Aaron’s name, a torturous and lasting sound. Adam broke open the car door and dragged Aaron’s lifeless body to safety, all limp and like he was already gone.

But he was there. Aaron fought through it all, and everything he imagined, it happened. Jackson, Ed, and now Robert.

He was married. Happily. Aaron had a small family, his own family and it was great. It was also a very cold February morning, condensation blurring out the sun, the only sliver of heat in the countryside. Robert stretched out his arms over the bed, the thin hairs standing up on edge, goosebumps rising on his skin. He couldn’t feel Aaron next to him in the bed, an indentation of his body still left in the mattress. If Robert listened closely, he could hear Aaron sneaking back upstairs, the floorboards squeaking every so often and the clatter of cutlery and pottery as they slid about under his hold. The door opened and there was Aaron, dressed in a pair of old joggers that should have long since been thrown out, holes at the seams and everything, and Robert’s dressing gown, hair natural and gel-free against his face.

“Happy Valentine’s day.” Aaron whispered, knee pressing the mattress down, putting the plate of food down onto the bed, before leaning forward and leaving a soft kiss to Robert’s skin. Truth be told, he grinned to himself ever so slightly when he realised Robert’s cheeks instantly flushed.

Robert smiled and moved his head, angling for a proper kiss off Aaron. He got one.

“Happy Valentine’s day to you too.” Robert soothed, sitting up on his side of the bed, his chest instantly cold before he reached over and grabbed one of Aaron’s discarded hoodies.

“I got you this.” Aaron said, handing over a card that was delicately balanced in the space between the full English and the cup of coffee.

Robert opened up the envelope and tried (and failed) to hold back a snort when he read the front of it.

‘Happy Valentines to my favourite bisexual!’ was emblazoned of the front, complementing an awful photo of Robert that he had sent Aaron early on in their relationship, when the two of them had finally become more comfortable with one another.

“Dickhead.” He chuckled, glancing at Aaron who looked so proud of himself.

“You love me though.” Aaron grinned and leaned forward, unable to control his urges. Not when Robert looked that good next to him. “Open it up.”

And so he did. Robert opened up the card, and inside, wasn’t just a printed “I love you” followed by Aaron’s name and a kiss, no. Inside was Aaron’s handwriting, all over both sides of the card. It was clear he’d taken care and time in writing this all out and before he even read the contents, Robert’s heart felt as though it was fit to burst.

It’s mad to think that this time five years ago we didn’t know each other, and yet by the end of that year, you suddenly meant everything to me. We’ve been through a lot, me and you, but I knew I loved you from the beginning. You changed everything for me. You helped me through a lot of things, some I never thought I’d ever tell people, and in turn, you allowed yourself to love me, and me to love you too. I’m not good with words, but I wanted to let you know just how much you mean to me. This is our first Valentines as official husbands, so I wanted to spoil you. I know we don’t have to have one day a year where we tell each other how we feel, but I love you and I wanted to tell you that. Thank you for being you, and for helping me through everything. The first holiday we were meant to go on never happened, and you said it was just postponed until further notice. So, in a week, we’re going to BARCELONA!! I love you, from your Aaron x

Robert looked up from the card, tears welling up in his eyes and his cheeks flushed red. “We’re finally going?”

Aaron could do nothing but not, his own eyes filling up with tears.

“I love you,” said Robert, arms wrapping around Aaron’s body, mouth pressed to his neck. Comforting. “So much.”

“Love you too.” Aaron smiled, his hand reaching up and stroking Robert’s hair. “Also might’ve planned a detour so we can go and see your gran.”

Robert didn’t move, but Aaron could feel on his skin that Robert’s breath hitched for just a second and his lips grew into a smile. “You’re the best.” He mumbled into Aaron’s neck.

Aaron chuckled, pressing his lips to Robert’s head. “I try.”

It was just like Aaron saw, all those years ago. Years of struggles, fights and tears would all be worth it in the end, because he’d have his family when it mattered.

#howellobrien #robron #robron secret valentine #robron fanfiction #fanfiction #robronsecretvalentine

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helloanonymouswriter · 7 years ago

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Second Thoughts || Phan

Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/410757529-phan-one-shots-~-second-thoughts

Second Thoughts

Words: 8382

Summary: Dan's dared to date Jessica Lester. However to do so, he needs to befriend her brother and be approved by him.

"It's pointless mate - she might like your mug but she doesn't date anyone unless her brother approves. He has a 'good guy' radar or something." Joe snickered at Dan who stared at Jessica Lester as she walked by. She was the most beautiful girl in school with her long strawberry blond hair, porcelain skin and bewitching blue eyes. Her curves prominent as she swayed.

"Give it up Howell." Derek chuckled, "You'd never bag a girl like her." Dan turned round and glared at his friends. Well, he said his friends - more like the assholes who were in the 'popular' clique that he happened to be a part of. Putting up with them at least got him a lot of positive attention and no endless line of girls. He liked the attention, liked being popular. However he did miss having a real friend; the closest person to that description was his neighbour Louise but she went to a different school.

"I could so." Dan rose to challenge - ego flaring. "And I'm not going to get just any girl like her, I'm going to get her." Dan smirked. He was an idiot - but he always found himself doing stupid things to remain on his popular pedestal. It earned him respect ... something Dan could do without if his ego was anything to go by.

"Yeah right." Sam grinned and stuffed his lunch in his mouth.

"You'll see. All I have to do is be friends with this Lester guy right? It's easy." Dan boasted although he was panicking a little inside. Why did he always dig himself into these messes?

"Alright but if you haven't bagged her by the end of the month you owe me ten quid." Joe smirked.

"Deal."

Dan was an idiot.

Dan bit his lip, staring at the back of Phil Lester's head. How the hell could he spark a possible friendship without being too obvious with his intentions? He frowned as he tried to figure out a plan. The lesson was nearly over and Dan was frustrated with his lack of ideas. He felt like a failure by the time the bell rang and was already thinking of the smug expression on Joe's face when he forked over ten pounds.

He eyed Phil as he left, noticing how Jessica joined him in leaving the classroom - clearly they were close so he couldn't chance offending Phil in any way when he finally got Jessica. "Mr Howell." The teacher drawled as he was about to leave. Dan stiffened before gritting his teeth and turning towards the maths teacher - Mr Archer. Dan had the daunting suspicion that this was about his grades - he'd been slacking off because of all the parties he'd been invited to. Honestly he'd rather stay in bed and watch anime but he could never let his friends know. They'd class him as one of those hentai weirdos. Besides, Dan had an image to uphold and going to parties was cool.

"Yes sir?" Dan asked with a false smile.

"I don't think you should be smiling young man. We both know what this is about. You should spend less time socialising and more time studying. Exams are coming up y'know. I suggest you get a tutor or risk failing your exam." The teacher spoke sharply and Dan felt a sinking in his gut. Despite his popular-boy image he really did care about his grades. He didn't let anyone know but he was the top in English - it was his strongest subject and he hoped to pursue it in university. Once high school was over he didn't need to worry about labels anymore - he could be his normal anime loving self.

"Yes sir." Dan muttered before trudging out of the room. Well his day got ten times worse. He'd have to cut down on the parties. Dan gave a huff before an idea struck him. Phil was smart right? He grinned. "Thank you Mr Archer." Dan whispered to himself before hurrying to his next class.

Fortunately he shared that with Phil as well. He waited impatiently for the hour to pass until the bell rang again. He almost jumped out of his seat. He waited as a few of his friends were having a conversation with him. Just before Phil was about to leave Dan tapped his shoulder, feeling a little nervous. The boy turned round and Dan was struck for a moment - most of the time he saw the back of his head and wasn't prepared for the similarities he and his sister had. He had the bright blue eyes and porcelain skin - not to mention the natural smile that seemed to rest on their pink lips. However instead of strawberry blond a black fringe adorned his head which was a stark contrast to his skin like ink on snow. Dan was momentarily speechless; he had never admitted it to anyone other than Louise, but he was bi and Phil was definitely ticking all the boxes for his male type. Dan quickly shook that thought away. He may have been attractive but Jessica was like an angel - pure and beautiful.

"H-hi." Dan found himself blurting and internally groaned as he stumbled back to normality.

Phil continued to smile, a hint of curiosity behind his eyes. "Can I help?"

"Uh, yes you can actually." Dan began, finding his confidence once more and smiling charmingly at the boy. "Basically my grades have been a bit lacking in maths recently - which was brought to my attention by the ever charming Archer who politely suggested that I get my shit together and find a tutor." Dan explained and Phil chuckled a little at Dan's tone. "So, basically, with a slight loss of dignity, I'm asking if you'd help me." Dan asked and bit his lip. He would have had to kiss Jessica goodbye if Phil said no - trying again would only make the boy suspicious. He probably wouldn't be allowed to kiss Jessica goodbye now that he thought about it. Phil'd probably kick him in the nuts.

Phil clicked his tongue, thinking it over. Dan found a bit of desperation leaking through his eyes; he honestly couldn't stand Joe's gloating. A loss of ten quid wasn't anything to celebrate either. "Alright, but if we're doing this we're doing it properly. No being a dick, no blowing me off for parties and I don't want any shit from your asshole friends ok?" Phil laid out the rules and Dan felt an anxiousness wash over him. Phil knew about Dan and his friends; he was a lot more cautious than he predicted. Dan would have to tiptoe on eggshells to lower Phil's guard - especially within a month.

"Aye, aye captain." Dan found himself replying with a smirk. Phil just smiled.

"Alright, we'll start tomorrow after school. We can go to mine as Jessica has volley ball practice and my parents are working." Phil suggested - more like commanded.

"Sounds peachy." Dan grinned cheekily and Phil shook his head lightly before turning to leave. He got two steps before turning round again. "We should probably exchange numbers so I can schedule our sessions." Phil added.

"Kinky." Dan found himself saying with a grin before internally panicking. Oh god did he just let his flirty bisexual side out a little there? God he needed to get a handle on that quick or Phil could get the wrong idea.

Phil looked a little surprised at his comment but laughed anyway. "Well, give me your phone then." Dan found himself fumbling about his skinny jean pockets until he clumsily handed it over. He needed to get a fucking grip. Phil typed in his number and created a contact before swiftly handing it back. "If you don't text me before tomorrow afternoon then I'm not tutoring you, I don't have time for trouble." Phil warned, staring right into Dan's eyes. Dan swallowed, did he actually feel ... intimidated? Phil did have a bit more muscle than him - specifically in his arms and shoulders ... jesus his shoulders ... focus Dan!

"Don't worry about it." Dan assured and finally Phil was gone. Dan stood alone in silence for a moment, trying to comprehend his actions from the previous conversation. "I need a slap." he sighed to himself before leaving the classroom.

"You're late." Phil raised an eyebrow. Dan furrowed his brows.

"By five minutes." He pouted.

"You're still late." Phil smirked. Dan rolled his eyes in response - was Phil going to be one of those strict teacher types? Dan felt a curl of frustration in his gut at the thought of holding back around him. He naturally liked to challenge people and hated the thought of censoring himself.

"Who are you, the time police?" Dan snorted before internally cursing. He was supposed to make Phil like him, not insult him. Although, he doubted anyone would really call it an insult. Dan was cautious though - he needed to leave a good impression.

"No, Time Lord actually." Phil smirked and started walking towards his car, expecting Dan to follow.

"More like a Judoon with that nose." Dan muttered under his breath. However Phil turned back to him with wide eyes. Crap.

"Excuse me?" Phil laughed in shock.

"Hm?" Dan played dumb, internally cursing himself once again for not holding back on the retaliation.

"I'd make a crack about how bad of an insult that was but honestly I'm too shocked that someone like you actually watches Doctor Who." Phil smirked. Dan felt oddly offended.

"Someone like me?" Dan asked and watched as Phil slid into the drivers seat. He jumped into the passenger before repeating, "Someone like me?"

Phil giggled. "Yeah." Dan scowled, just who did he think he was?

"And what exactly am I like?" Dan asked as Phil turned the key in the ignition.

"Oh you know ... popular ..." Dan couldn't argue with that. "... pompous ... arrogant ... egotistical, proud, petty, vain." Dan's jaw dropped.

"I beg your pardon?" Dan spluttered. Making friends seemed like a goal out of reach at this point. Phil only chuckled again. Dan opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish. He let his frustration leak through, "I am not petty or arrogant or pompous ... and I don't see how that makes me someone who wouldn't enjoy Doctor Who." Dan ranted.

Phil's lips quirked, "Touché, I apologise if my stereotypes wounded you." Dan was about to retort but held his tongue. Patience Dan, you're here to make friends not enemies.

"I am wounded." Dan pouted instead.

"Aw I'm sorry." Phil grinned brightly - his expression seemed to contradict his apology. Dan felt blinded - god he was like a ray of sunshine. How the hell was he supposed to be mad at someone like that? Dan flushed at his thoughts.

"Mhm." Dan hummed before staring out the window. God Dan just act normal. You need to get on his good side not act like a fool.

A few minutes passed by with comfortable silence until Phil spoke up again. "I am actually sorry. I don't usually stereotype. I'd hate if someone did that to me." Dan turned to see a more serious expression on Phil's face. Dan didn't like it, he preferred Phil's happy face.

He smiled despite himself, "It's honestly fine Phil. I get why you think that way." Dan sighed, feeling a stab of self deprecation in his gut. Sometimes he hated who he was - most of the time he liked being popular - there were nights however where he wanted to tear through the polished skin of high school douche bag and be the anime loving sexually ambiguous nerd he truly was. He pushed the feeling down - he didn't need to start feeling insecure in front of Phil. They hardly knew each other and Dan didn't feel like revealing his inner demons so early into the friendship.

"Well I believe in getting to know the person before judging them, I guess it just slipped out." Phil continued.

"What all those words just slipped out one after another. I dunno you sounded pretty sure to me." Dan teased.

"Shut up." Phil smiled softly before turning into his driveway. It wasn't long until they were in the door, up the stairs and approaching Phil's room. Dan was tempted to ask when Jessica would be home but knew it would only arouse suspicion. Soon they were in Phil's room and Dan paused in the doorway, taking in the onslaught of colour. Posters covered almost every inch of wall, faded blue peeking through the cracks.

Dan felt excitement swell in his chest when he spotted the 'Origin of Symmetry' and 'The Resistance' posters above his bed. "You like Muse?!" He found himself blurting before he could process this information. Almost everyone he knew at school had no idea who they were - too obsessed with the mainstream crap looping the charts. He'd tried to engage Louise in his obsession but she just didn't share his absolute adoration for the band and Matt Bellamy's glorious vocal range.

"Duh, they're my favourite band." Phil beamed and Dan felt a jolt in his chest. Dammit I can't not like him now. He tried to tone down his inner fanboy.

"Yeah they're cool I guess." Dan tried to pass off and Phil chuckled again. Dan was a little annoyed with how he could see right through him. "Anyway." Dan coughed, subtly admiring the other bands and TV shows that adorned his walls. God dammit does he have no faults? Dan pondered.

"Let's jump right in. Get your maths notes out." Phil instructed, settling comfortably in his desk chair. Dan sat on the bed.

He went to reach for his bag then paused. "Oh ... um ..." Dan started, feeling a blush rise to his cheeks. Phil raised an eyebrow. "I um ... I don't have my notes ..." Dan admitted sheepishly. Phil stared at him incredulously, trying to process Dan's idiocy.

"You don't ... what?" Phil frowned. "Why the hell don't you have your maths notes for a maths tutoring?" Phil asked, confusion clear. Dan felt his body get hotter in embarrassment.

"W-we didn't have maths today, I didn't pack it." Dan tried to defend himself.

"Unbelievable." Phil shook his head before tossing his notes to Dan. "You can use them this time but please don't forget them again." Phil chuckled.

"Thanks." Dan muttered, trying to calm his red complexion.

"Okay, let's start with surds..."

"Uuuuuuuuuuugh." Dan groaned - textbook squashing his face. He was done with Maths - absolutely completely fucking done. He didn't give a shit if he failed the exam - his brain couldn't cope.

"Hush up cry baby." Phil chuckled from his desk chair. This had been happening all week - three days of tutoring and fractions and algebra and vectors and AAAAAAAAAH. Dan thought he'd explode; he was so sick of numbers he felt ill whenever he saw them.

"Can we please take a break?" Dan pleaded weakly, textbook sliding off his face as he turned to look at Phil.

"It's only been half an hour." Phil scoffed.

"Yeah out of 10 hours this week!" Dan nearly shrieked in protest. He could hardly process in class and felt tired from the evenings with Phil and his damn Algebra.

"More like 2 hours, you get distracted too easily." Phil muttered.

"Oh I'm sorry we spent the whole time talking about more interesting things!" Dan huffed, sitting up and crossing his arms at the other boy.

"I'm here to tutor you not chat with you." Phil countered.

"Sorry if I thought friends actually talked to each other." Dan snorted before pausing. Oops, had he really let that slip? Wasn't that being pushy? Shit shit shit.

"We're friends?" Phil asked with a smirk and Dan felt himself flush. Crap - he doesn't want to be friends - it was all for nothing and now he had a math-induced headache. What a waste of fucking time, honestly. He'd really liked talking about his interests too! Ungrateful Lester who didn't appreciate his efforts.

Instead of voicing these thoughts he stuttered, "W-well I-I dunno, m-maybe I thought- but maybe not I-I guess we're not- I just assumed 'cause w-we'd been talking- but whatever forget it." Shoot me and my god damn bumbling mouth. Dan thought bitterly.

Phil giggled - breaking Dan out of his depressed bubble. Honestly the guy didn't have to laugh - how could he have a 'nice guy' radar when he was such a douche? "I was just kidding Dan. I'm just a little surprised you'd label us that way after knowing each other only a few days. Then again that might be me stereotyping you again. So sorry ... again ... I guess." Phil finished sheepishly.

I take it back. He's not a douche. Dan found himself smiling. He hadn't failed; he felt so happy. He shouldn't feel that happy - it was just a step on the ladder leading to Jessica. He had enjoyed speaking to Phil though ... and they had tons in common. Come to think of it he hadn't acted like his 'normal' self like he had in school. If anything he was a completely different person around Phil which wasn't good. Being friends was good, sure, but for Phil to have so much power and blackmail over him wasn't wise when he was trying to get with his sister for admittedly selfish purposes. God Dan really was a shitty person.

"Dumbass, stop embarrassing me." Dan mumbled and Phil only grinned. Stop grinning at me you're doing weird things to my chest. And he was - Dan had noticed it every time Phil smiled or got excited with him over something; they hadn't reached Dan's anime fanboy material yet as that was one thing he was determined to keep under lock and key. No way was he risking his asshole friends finding out - his popular career would be over.

"Yeah yeah whatever." Phil dismissed. "Come on let's at least get another half an hour's study done before you give up completely." He insisted.

"Fine." Dan reluctantly agreed.

"Party tomorrow night Howell, you better be there." Derek instructed as the four of them left school.

Dan frowned, "You know I can't guys."

"Are you serious?!" Joe asked in irritation. "What the hell's happening to you?"

Dan scowled a little. "Hey it's your fault in the first place. I'm having to go to Lester's house every day after school for tutoring just so I can win this stupid bet. He told me if I miss one then he will stop because he doesn't put up with that shit." He retorted.

"Ugh, it can't be that bad. No one's that strict - just make up an excuse or something." Derek shrugged.

"He'll find out. Besides it's a school night - he'll definitely notice if I'm hungover tomorrow." Dan insisted.

"Then don't drink." Sam suggested.

"No point going if I can't drink." Dan grumbled, feeling frustrated. Couldn't his friends stop being peer-pressuring assholes long enough for him to just get this bet done? It was hard enough juggling two different personas.

"For god sake Howell stop being a killjoy." Derek sneered and Dan glared at him.

"Hey, it's not your money or pride on the line is it? I just need to not party until the end of the month - then I'll be back to normal." Dan explained through gritted teeth.

"It's like you're hiding who you are. Probably won't be believable to Lester if you don't slip up even once. Won't he get suspicious?" Sam asked. Dan internally groaned.

"I want to stay in his good books." Dan tried again a little desperately.

"God this bet is such a pain. You're no fun anymore." Joe rolled his eyes. "Just pay up now and let's get pissed." He added. Dan fumed.

"No, I'm not giving up ... look I'll just tell Phil I can't make it." Dan finally admitted defeat. He was slipping. He still had a reputation to uphold and although he liked being popular - the things he had to do to keep it up were starting to become an annoyance. God could his friends not fucking back off?

"That-a-boy. Don't forget the voddie alright?" Derek grinned.

"Yeah, 'course." Dan didn't sound as enthusiastic as he'd have liked.

'Sorry Phil, can't make it to tomorrow's tutoring session. Got plans for a family dinner - mum'll kill me if I miss. Sorry, see you Wednesday instead :)' ~ Dan

Dan felt like dying. He had a pounding headache and his mouth felt like cotton. Why did he always have to get shitfaced at parties?

"Last night was epic. Can't believe you made out with Joanne. What a dog!" Derek snickered and loomed over Dan's slumped being. Dan's eye twitched in irritation. He actually hadn't made out with Joanne - that's just what she told everyone after he helped her drunk self find an empty room to sleep in. He had been nothing but gentlemanly in his tipsy state but she took advantage of it. Not that Dan was going to bother to correct them. It only added to his popular image so why bother?

"Yu-huh." He added non-comittedly and glared at his friend who somehow was unaffected by hangovers despite drinking just as much, if not more than Dan.

"You look like a zombie." Joe chuckled and poked Dan's cheek that rested on the desk. Dan swatted his hand away and lifted his head up to yell. However the words caught in his throat when he saw Phil walk in and stop to stare in his direction. Dan gave a dry swallow and tried not to show how guilty he felt.

His body tensed as Phil studied his form. Once finished Phil's eyes flashed angrily before sitting down at the front - posture rigid. Dan panicked - Phil had caught him. Dan was an idiot - he should have never given into his friends. He may have just ballsed up the whole thing. Weirdly enough he wasn't even thinking of the bet. He was worrying about whether Phil would ever talk to him again and if he'd give Dan a second chance.

"Phiiiiil." Dan whined later at lunch as he followed said boy outside. "I'm really sorry, please just listen to me!"

"No Dan. I warned you that if you blew me off for some party then I wouldn't give you a second chance. I have no time for this shit and I don't care to deal with or be a part of that world." Phil snapped, picking up the pace.

"Phil I'm sorry! Really, I wasn't thinking - it's been a while and my friends were hassling me." Dan tried to explain.

"I should have known." Phil grumbled to himself. "You told me that you and your family don't get along that well, so why the hell would you cancel to have an oh-so-important family dinner?! You lied to me Dan, what further reason do I need to stop tutoring you?" Phil spat, swerving round a corner onto the green behind the school. Dan persisted.

"Please Phil, one more chance - I promise I won't fuck it up! I really need the help, I don't want to fail my class. I actually care about my grades contrary to popular belief and I've really enjoyed spending time with you." Dan urged a little desperately.

Phil scoffed, "Yeah right, you're just using me. I bet you go home and laugh about my interests with your friends afterwards. I know how people like you are Dan! All you do is manipulate."

Dan found irritation rise up before he could stop it, "People like me?! What happened to you not stereotyping people huh? Was that all a bunch of crap?" For some reason Phil seeing him as a douchebag blow-off was really annoying him. How dare Phil say that when Dan had shared quite a bit of his real self? How dare Phil throw that back in his face?

"Well you're certainly not helping me by blowing me off for a stupid party!" Phil returned angrily.

"It was a moment of weakness! My friends wouldn't stop pestering me alright?! I'm sorry I'm weak ok? I'm sorry I'm scared to lose my reputation! I'm sorry I'm too much of a coward to say what I want and act how I want! Honestly I would have rather spent last night talking to you and hanging with you than getting buggered with those assholes!" Dan burst, panting a little after his monologue. However he hadn't processed his little speech whilst it came out and paled a little at letting his true feelings through. He didn't think Phil could get to him so much.

Phil was quiet for a moment, studying Dan with a cautious gaze. "You're not a coward." he sighed after a while. "I'm sorry for stereotyping you again. I didn't know that was how you really felt." He apologised sheepishly.

Dan flushed at his words. "U-um, it's okay. I wouldn't expect you to want to understand anyway. I really am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you or piss you off and I tried to get out of it but ... I guess I'm a bit of a push-over when it comes to that area of my life." Dan sighed, feeling exhausted from the conversation and the last dregs of a hangover.

Phil smiled a little. "It's okay Dan ... and I do like talking to you as well. I kind of forgot you're not like that all the time ... look, I'll give you another chance. If you need help blowing off your friends we can come up with an excuse together." Phil offered and Dan wanted to cry. Phil was too nice. Dan felt awful for exploiting that kindness for a bet but after that show of determination and commitment he put on for his friends about the bet, there's no way he could just give up now.

"Thanks Phil. I'm glad we're still friends. You can be- no, you are probably better company than my other friends are." Dan found himself admitting with a shy smile.

Phil blushed himself and Dan marvelled at the contrast of his rosy cheeks on porcelain skin. Honestly the happy smile that took over Phil's face made Dan all warm inside and his heart beat fast. He was starting to get attached to the loveable goofball and really didn't know what he was going to do about this bet. At this point it didn't seem worth it - not worth Jessica's affections or the money or the gloating. He really didn't want to hurt Phil ... but he couldn't not continue the bet. He wasn't ready to give up his popular pedestal. He didn't want to suffer possible ridicule from his supposed friends. He didn't want to feel like an outcast even if it was his last year of school. Phil was wrong - dan was weak and a coward.

"Well thank you Dan." Phil grinned. "You're not so bad yourself." He winked.

Dan couldn't help but want the ground to swallow him whole. He was a despicable human being. "Thanks." Dan replied with a strained guilty smile.

"You did WHAT?!" Louise nearly shrieked. Dan winced. He deserved the yelling though - honestly agreeing to Joe's bet was such a stupid thing to do.

"I know ... I'm the worst." Dan pouted as he was sprawled across his best friend's bed. He couldn't find the courage to tell her about the bet or Phil for the past 2 weeks and only now did he feel guilty enough to admit his shame. I'm a shitty person.

"Daniel I expected better of you!" Louise [mum] pentland scolded. "All this so you can get in someone's pants!" Louise hissed looking thoroughly displeased. Dan sat up with a scowl.

He felt his defences flare up. "I'm not doing it to get in her pants. I actually really like her. I have some morals y'know." Dan snapped and Louise scowled back. The room fell into silence, both fuming silently. Eventually Louise let out a breath and her sharp expression softened. Dan's own face relaxed in response and he flopped back down on the bed. Louise joined him shortly after, blond curls fanning across his chest.

"You do get yourself into the most ridiculous situations Howell." Louise sighed, sounding fonder than before.

"I know. I'm sorry."

Phil couldn't stop laughing and Dan flushed in annoyance. "Stop it." Dan grumbled, taking a sip from his milkshake. Phil's laughter only increased and he put a hand over his mouth to muffle it. "Seriously shut up you moron." Dan scowled.

"S-seriously Dan? I-in-" Phil broke into giggles again and Dan couldn't help but smile despite himself. "In his parents' bed?!" He asked incredulously, eyes shining with humour. Dan grimaced at the memory.

"I shouldn't have told you that." Dan sighed.

"Hey I shared an embarrassing memory!" Phil protested, shoulders still shaking a little with laughter. "What did you say the next morning?" He prodded.

Dan glared at him. "I just told him he should probably wash his sheets after a party." he muttered. Phil broke into laughter again and Dan couldn't help but grin at the contagiousness of it.

"Oh fuck off." Dan chuckled and looked out the window in embarrassment. Phil noticed Dan's flushed cheeks and calmed down.

"Hey sorry. It is really funny though." Phil snickered and took a sip of his own drink.

Dan huffed. "Shouldn't we be studying?" He grumbled as he flicked at the corner of his textbook.

Phil smirked, "I said that five minutes ago but you insisted I tell you an embarrassing memory."

Dan just smiled in response. It had been two weeks now of being in Phil's company. There was a week and a half left until the month was up. The thought made Dan feel sick. He really enjoyed Phil's company. He had let down his guard more and more around the other boy and found himself not minding the lack of his other friends at all. He hardly thought of Jessica - the infatuation seemed to have faded but he didn't feel disturbed by it one bit. He just enjoyed being around Phil with no barriers. He enjoyed not being an asshole and talking about things that made him feel happy and excited. He liked Phil.

And he didn't want to hurt him.

The bet was a stupid idea and Dan knew that from the beginning but at the time he had something to prove and he liked Jessica at the time. Now he didn't want to prove anything to his asshole friends and Jessica seemed long since disregarded. He just liked being with Phil and he didn't want it to end. He didn't want to hurt Phil and if Phil ever found out it would crush him.

'Just tell him the truth. It might be hard to accept at first but he deserves to hear it from you. That way he can trust that you feel badly about it and want to make up for your stupidity.'

Louise's words rattled round his brain as Phil started waffling about something else. Dan felt too scared though. He didn't want to lose what they had. If he just stopped the bet then there'd be nothing to tell, right? Right?

"Seriously, you're giving up already?" Sam asked with a raised eyebrow.

Dan scowled, "weren't you the one telling me to just pay up and get pissed?" He handed a crumpled tenner over to Joe who looked pleased with himself.

"Yeah but I didn't take you for a quitter. Not with how sure you were that you'd win." He shrugged and took a drag of his cigarette. That was one thing that Dan refused to be a part of and he'd done a good job of evading his friends' pressure with carefully thought-through excuses.

"Yeah well, I'm sick of it. Plus I'm not really into Jessica anymore. Feels pointless." Dan tried to reason although he felt a little nauseous.

"How can you not be into Jessica?" Derek frowned, "she's the fittest girl here."

Dan swallowed the lump in his throat. "Just seems like a lot of high maintenance to me. I don't have time for that shit." God I can be an asshole.

"Probably still a good shag though." Derek smirked and high-fived Joe. Dan really hated his friends.

And he hated himself a little too.

"Are you ok?" Phil asked. Dan snapped out of his thoughts. He looked at the worry in his friend's blue eyes.

"Yeah. Nothing you have to worry about. Just my friends." It was only half true. He had been feeling like shit all week. He thought the guilt would go once he ended the bet but he couldn't help but feel like he was still lying to Phil. He had spent even more time with him since and found his life as a popular becoming irrelevant when he could have the security of Phil's smile. Dan felt himself getting smitten. The thought of 'tutoring' ending made him feel ill. He didn't want to go back. His mind briefly drifted to Louise once again. He'd gone to her for advice on many an occasion.

'It's not like he's going to find out Louise. Besides it's over so ...'

'That's not how it works Dan. They always find out, trust me. Just tell him!'

'I can't ... I don't want to lose him ...'

'But you will lose him if you don't tell him and he finds out. Believe me the consequences will be much worse the more you wait.'

'But ... I can't- I just ... alright-okay just ... I'll tell him but not right now. I just ... I need him. He's the only thing besides you that makes me feel happy right now ...'

'Don't wait too long Howell'

Dan knew she spoke the truth but when he pictured the look of betrayal on Phil's face he felt like throwing up. God he was fucked.

"Just know you can tell me anything Dan." Phil smiled and Dan felt his heart rate increase. This boy. "Anyway, what do you wanna watch?"

Dan spied his movie collection and felt himself yearning to watch a ghibli film considering his vast collection. He still hadn't let his weaboo side out yet but he found himself wanting to surrender himself to Phil. Wanted to be completely himself around the boy. He wanted to be as genuine as Phil.

"Um ... Howl's Moving Castle?" Dan mumbled shyly. Phil's eyes seemed to light up and Dan's breath stuttered a little.

"You like anime?" Phil beamed. God he was too good for Dan. Dan couldn't help smile at the expression.

"Y-yeah ... just don't tell anyone yeah?" Dan stuttered sheepishly.

"Oh this opens up so many avenues for conversation!" Phil cheered. "You better believe I'm going to find out all your favourite ships. God I can recommend you my favourites too! Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Phil grinned.

Dan was momentarily speechless. Phil's pure reaction had him swelling with affection and he found himself wondering why he hadn't said so earlier. Phil would never judge him ... "I don't know." Dan found himself smiling.

"Well strap yourself in we're in for an anime-filled afternoon! Hey, that alliteration though!" Phil giggled and went to find the movie. Dan looked at Phil with an expression so full of fondness. He just couldn't contain how much he liked the other boy. Dan liked Phil ... maybe even love him a little. It scared Dan upon realisation but made him feel so warm inside. It was a nice feeling. He liked it. He liked Phil.

Dan couldn't stop smiling all afternoon.

When Phil kissed Dan, his brain short-circuited. He'd been mid-sentence when Phil suddenly put his hand on his cheek gently and fitted their lips together. They were in the park and Dan had been ranting about how his 'friends' were badgering him to go out with them. Dan had been running out of excuses and he could tell they were getting angry with him. Dan didn't really care, he wanted to cut himself off from their toxic opinions. However he couldn't help letting out his frustration to Phil.

He'd been ranting about his 'friend's' disgusting behaviour towards this gay kid in the year bellow and how no one should belittle someone for something they couldn't change about themselves. Before he could finish however, he felt the fingers glide over his cheek and then his mind went blank. This had caused him to not respond so Phil pulled away anxiously. When Dan felt the cold on his lips instead of the consuming warmth he jumped into action.

He grabbed at Phil, fingers securing around his neck and pulling him back in for a slow and heady kiss. Their lips moved enthusiastically together and Dan couldn't help feel a happiness he'd never experienced before consume him. God, this was so much better than faux popularity. So much better than getting drunk and hooking up here and there. So much better than flirty looks in the hallway and people knowing who he was. Better than everything.

They pulled away when they couldn't stop smiling against the other's mouth. Phil laughed shakily and pecked Dan's lips once more before pulling away. "I like you." Dan blurted out, brain a little muddled.

"I'd like to think so after a kiss like that." Phil smirked and Dan pouted, only encouraging Phil to go in for another, slightly hungrier kiss.

Dan was in heaven.

Dan was panicking.

Phil hadn't spoken to him all day. He kept rattling off excuses and avoiding him. Dan felt sick with worry and couldn't help think of all these awful scenarios. What if Phil realised how pathetic Dan was? What if he realised he could do better? What if he was just playing with Dan's feelings? What if he was a bad kisser?

Dan sat in his room, everything tearing at his stomach. He phoned Louise and she told him to calm down. She asked if Phil had found out about the bet which only made Dan feel even more panicked. He should have told Phil sooner. They'd been 'going out' for over a week now, not that anyone else knew. It had been the best time of Dan's life and he had been so caught up in the affection that he forgot all his problems and worries.

Phil hadn't talked to him since the previous afternoon before a family dinner. The guilt and worry was eating him alive. He needed to see Phil, he couldn't let him think he was using him if he did know.

And if he didn't know ...

The thought of losing Phil so soon made Dan panic. He had to tell him. He should have told him sooner. He should have ... Dan tried Phil's phone once again and was shocked to find him answer after the third ring.

"Hello?"

"PHIL!"

"Dan." Dan felt his stomach sink.

"A-are you okay? I-i just, I've been worried and ..." Dan trailed off, his voice shaky with nerves.

"I'm fine ... well I'm not but ..." He sighed on the other line.

Dan felt even worse. He needed to speak to him face-to-face. He couldn't have this conversation over the phone. He needed to see how guilty and sorry Dan felt. "C-can I come over? Please?" Dan almost begged.

There was pause. "I'm not sure ... I don't think-"

"Please Phil. I need to talk to you. Clearly I've done something to upset you. I don't ever want to do that. Let me fix whatever it is. Please, I don't ever want to hurt you." Dan found himself pleading. The silence was deafening and he only caught on to the slightly shaky breath of Phil over the phone.

"O-ok. Um, yeah."

Dan felt relief consume him. "I'll be there in ten minutes." Dan assured. Phil hummed on the other line before hanging up. Dan had never gotten ready so fast and arrived at Phil's door with two minutes to spare. His lungs burned his calves ached but it was worth it. He knocked urgently and waited impatiently. The minuted passed like hours until he finally heard footsteps.

Dan was ready to launch into apology but his words caught in his throat when he didn't find Phil at the door. Jessica stood there, eyes just as fiery as her hair. Dan was confused, but before he could comprehend her expression the door was shut firmly in his face. Dan stared in shock before feeling the dread in his stomach once again.

She knows.

She must have told Phil. Dan can only guess one of his 'friends' had let the cat out of the bag. Louise had warned him that it was inevitable. Dan should have told Phil earlier when he had the chance. "Jessica! Please! I need to talk to Phil!" Dan pleaded, knocking on the door once again.

He ceased when he heard muffled yelling on the other side of the door. Dan bit his lip, trying to calm his racing heart. He just needed to see Phil. A minute passed and the door opened once again. This time Phil stood in his pyjamas, eyes tired. If Dan hadn't had a shit-tsunami of worry raging through his mind he'd take the time to admire how adorable his boyfriend looked. If he could call him his boyfriend anymore ...

"Phil." Dan breathed, mind suddenly going blank. Phil had that affect on him, he always seemed to make Dan feel secure. Although there was underlying uneasiness, he still felt at ease. He knew he couldn't let the boy go.

"Come in." Phil sighed and opened the door further. Dan swallowed when he spotted the narrowed eyes of Jessica Lester behind him. He followed them into the living room. Luckily the parents seemed to be no where in sight. Dan kind of wished Jessica left them to talk though. As soon as he sat down, Jessica burst.

"You asshole! Who do you think you are? Playing with my brother's feelings like that? You're a selfish coward!" She shrieked. Dan shrunk into himself, tears prickling at his eyes. He felt the guilt eating him alive. The volume of her voice made him shake - he'd never been good with people shouting at him. His father had often made him cry as a result. Dan couldn't help but curl into himself a little - a habit.

Phil, although he felt angry himself, saw the way Dan flinched and knew they needed to talk privately. "Jess, please can you just let us talk?" He asked softly.

"NO! This involves me too! How dare he? He used you Phil! To get to me! How could you let him into this house?!" Jessica shouted, anger clear. Dan clutched the armrests tighter. He felt a tear escape and quickly wiped it away. He shouldn't be able to feel sorry for himself. He was an awful person.

Phil, despite himself, felt anger at his sister making Dan cry. He couldn't help it, he had feelings for the boy whether he wanted them or not. "JESSICA." He found his voice raising. "Leave or I will leave." Phil warned. Jessica looked ready to argue but bit her tongue at her brother's expression. She scoffed, glared at Dan, then left the room. Silence enveloped the room.

Dan sat there, inner turmoil clear on his face. He should have told Phil, now he's lost him forever. "I-I'm s-sorry Phil." Dan shakily let out. Phil didn't say anything, he felt defeated almost. He had given Dan the benefit of the doubt. He'd seemed so genuine. Phil never even suspected ... Well he was a little suspicious at first but Dan had been so ... real somehow. Phil didn't want to believe it. He didn't at first and considered talking to Dan about it but ... it all seemed to make sense the more he thought about it. There was no reason for Dan to approach Phil of all people. He could have chosen anyone to tutor him - there were people better at maths in their class.

He didn't want to say anything though. He didn't like being angry. He wanted an explanation. That's why he let Dan come over. He just wanted to know why. He looked Dan straight in the eyes. Continue he urged with his gaze.

Dan tried to gather his thoughts. "Yes, it started off with a bet. I was caught up in my popular bubble and let my pride get to me when Joe dared me. At first I really did fancy Jessica and felt I had to prove something. But ..." Dan stopped, swallowing the lump in his throat. He couldn't look Phil in the eye. "But ... then I got to know you and you ... you're so beautiful. You were this ball of fucking sunshine and I felt the guilt eat me alive. I approached you out of selfish reasons and I hated myself for it. I tried to convince myself that it didn't matter but the more time I spent with you, the more I found I couldn't stand to hurt you. So I paid up, I told Joe that I wouldn't go through with it - fed him some excuse. After that ..." Dan took a breath and built the courage to look Phil in the eye.

Phil felt tears reach his eyes. He could hear the pain in his voice. He was conflicted - he really like Dan. He liked the Dan he got to know. He was cute, he was shyer than he made himself out to be. He was slow to crawl out of his armour but Phil loved him all the more for it. For showing him the true Dan. He didn't want to believe it wall all a lie. He wanted to forgive him.

"After that-" Dan continued, "I spent as much time as I could with you. I liked you. I stopped lying to myself. I never felt anything close to how I feel for you with Jessica. She was a passing fancy but once I got to know you, nothing compared. You're perfect. I've been agonizing how to tell you for weeks. I know I should have told you earlier and god knows how much shit I got from Louise for waiting too long. She's right - she's always right. I never wanted to hurt you. I love you Phil and ... I ... I understand if you can't trust me anymore ... if ... if ..." Dan choked up and Phil's heart clenched. "if you don't want to see me anymore I understand ... but I don't want to stop because you've become everything Phil. I don't ..." Dan trailed off, wiping away a tear. He couldn't speak anymore.

Phil felt his own tears reach his eyes. Godammit. He thought almost angrily as he saw his boyfriend shaking, crying and almost pleading with his eyes. He knew Dan. He got to know the real Dan. Phil found himself refusing to believe it was all a lie. No matter how much it hurt to know about the bet, Phil couldn't dismiss his feelings. He didn't want to lose Dan either.

"Dan." he said hoarsely and cleared his throat. He got up and walked over to Dan who sat on the opposite couch. Dan winced and looked down at his lap in shame. Phil's heart clenched, he looked so small. He couldn't find it in himself to be angry when Dan looked so scared. He let out a sigh and knelt in front of him. He scooped the boy into his arms and squeezed him tight. Even though Dan was taller than Phil, he felt small in his embrace.

"I love you Phil, please don't leave me." Dan said shakily, arms curling round his waist. Phil felt a warmth in his chest and couldn't help smile against his shoulder.

"I'm angry at you." Phil found himself blurting out and Dan tensed and tried to pull away but Phil held tight. "But I also don't want to lose you. I was afraid that it wasn't real ... that the Dan I got to know didn't exist. I was scared to lose what we have. I'm still angry that you didn't tell me and you need to gain my trust back but ... I love you too Dan. I still want to be with you." Phil chuckled. "God you're frustrating you know that?" Phil smirked, pulling back only to press him forehead to Dan's.

Dan couldn't help but smile shakily. "I'm angry at me too. I'm an idiot. I'm sorry. Are you sure you want to be with me? You could probably do better-" Dan found himself anxiously rambling. Phil's heart clenched at Dan's self-depreciation and knew he was fucked. He couldn't be mad at Dan for more than a day. He smiled softly and kissed his boyfriend to shut him up.

Dan made a surprised sound but melted into soft lips. He felt that swell of happiness once again. He felt safe. He clutched Phil tightly, he never wanted to let go. When they pulled apart, Dan breathed against Phil's lips and looked at him with heavy lids. He couldn't help but grin. "Love you." Dan mumbled.

Phil beamed, he couldn't help it. His boyfriend was an idiot ... but he was a cute idiot. "Love you too." He gave Dan an eskimo kiss and Dan couldn't help giggle and the sound melted Phil's heart. Dan went quiet, enjoying the moment. However his brow furrowed as he let his mind wonder.

"You're sister's going to kill me isn't she?" Dan asked anxiously.

Phil laughed and hugged Dan to his chest. "I won't let her."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~HelloAnonymousWriter~

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skybournerp · 7 years ago

Photo

"I will never turn my back on someone who needs me!"

A B O U T

Name: Emma Soren Nickname: Em Hero Name: Up to Player Age: Twenty Date & Place of Birth: December 21st, 1997 & Miami, FL. Sexuality: Bisexual Pronouns: She/Her Faceclaim: Natalia Dyer Alternate FCs: Victoria Moroles, Maisie Williams, Chloe Grace Moretz Status: TAKEN

M O R E

Major & Minor: Major in Psychology & Minor in Criminal Justice Classification: Sophomore Occupation: Student Government Volunteer, Barista @ The Daily Grind Rank: Hero Support Power: Force-Field Generation Limitations: Has difficulty creating a force-field while stressed and the diameter of the force-field is dependent on her ability to focus.

P E R S O N A L I T Y

+ protective, caring, dedicated - timid, perfectionist, doubtful

B I O G R A P H Y (TW: DEATH)

Emma grew up in a normal home. At least from the outside. Her mother worked for a publishing company in Miami and her father was a contractor. They spent their days working their 9 to 5 jobs and came home and were a normal loving home. Except for the fact that Kellen was hiding a huge secret from his wife. He came from a family of super heroes. Kellen had the ability to generate force fields, but he’d always kept his ability a secret. When he could, he would use it to protect others, if he was in disguise. But from the moment he first developed his powers, he was told never to reveal his secret identity to others, not even his loved ones, especially since Margaret was in publishing and could easily sell the story, exposing him and their family. And so, when Emma began to develop powers at nine years of age, Kellen brought his daughter into his secret basement and explained to her that it was dangerous to reveal this ability to anyone. Even her mother. He had Emma swear that she wouldn’t share her powers with anyone if she wasn’t in disguise. And he would train her in private. This was the rhythm they fell into. Margaret was suspicious of all the time they spent together, but Kellen assured it was normal father/daughter bonding time and it was dismissed.

The time with her parents came to an end she was twelve. They had been taking a family vacation to the beach when it started pouring. Being Floridians, they were not worried about it. Kellen knew how to maneuver their vehicle through the rain on the roads. They were only seven minutes away from the beach when Emma glanced out the window and saw a car speeding towards them. Kellen had been too occupied trying to get the car safely off the road to generate a force field. In a frightened state, Emma could project a shield around herself but failed to make it large enough to cover her parents. The other car, speeding out of control, ran right into the family car, killing the driver on impact. When Emma was pulled out of the car by a police officer, it was clear that neither of her parents had been spared. Everyone was astounded by Emma’s miraculous survival. Not only had she survived, but there wasn’t a scratch on her when she shouldn’t have even lived through the crash. Thankfully it was just chalked up to being a miracle and Emma wasn’t questioned as to why she had survived with so much as a scratch.

After that fatal day, Emma moved in with her grandparents and said little to them for months after the event. She blamed herself for the loss of her parents. It was her fault. And nothing her grandparents said convinced her otherwise, until one day, a few years later, she’d been walking around town on her own and just as a car was about to hit a biker, she used her abilities to save their life. It was then that Emma found how she could make amends and honor the loss of her parents; she’d learn to use her powers and save every life she could. Her grandparents were more reluctant since they spent their lives flying under the radar, so she attended a regular high school, as per their wishes, and continued training under their guidance. However, as soon as she turned eighteen, she applied for Skybourne University. The death of her parents still haunts Emma and growing a backbone has been the hardest challenge. In a way, she’s going against her father and grandparents’ wishes, but it’s the only way she can cope with the events that occurred.

F A M I L Y

Kellen Soren (father - deceased) Margaret Soren (mother - deceased) Arthur Soren (grandfather - alive) Johanna Soren (grandmother - alive)

C O N N E C T I O N S

Nekai Teton: Emma has heard Nekai talk several times at student government meetings and is finds him inspiring. However, she has never had the courage to actually talk to him. Every meeting she says, this will be the one we talk, but that hasn’t actually happened yet.

Leah Johnson: They were paired together as hero and hero support their first semester. Although they didn’t make a good team, they became friends, despite their personality differences. Leah helps Emma to push her limits.

#natalia dyer fc #rpg #college roleplay #comic rp #lsrpg #emma soren

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froggydarren · 7 years ago

Text

as a friend

Dylan/Tyler || 1.8k || M || AO3

Summary: (989): I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.

A/N: Y’all can blame @literaryoblivion for this one. That is all.

At first Tyler thinks the text came from Posey. It’s something he’d expect from him, completely without context or preamble, but with enough history that it wouldn’t seem super creepy. They did live together, after all, and occasional accidental nudity -- well, accidental sighting of said nudity -- was something that did happen. And sending something this random that’s this personal is absolutely Posey’s style.

Then he looks at the top of the screen again, and almost chokes on the water he’s drinking. Because the text didn’t come from Posey.

That’s it, that’s how Dylan’s number is saved in his phone, because not only is it what Tyler calls him, but it’s also unassuming enough that only some people would match it to the person. He’s had enough people looking over his shoulder to know better, and to save people’s numbers either by nicknames like this, or by full names to keep things appropriate. Dylan is one of those who gets a nickname -- and not a cutesy one that’d give too much away -- because he’s the one whom Tyler texts a lot, and it’s not like he wants to advertise it. And “D” could be anyone, really. At least that’s what he tells himself.

I miss your penis.

Tyler stares at the phone some more, slumped in his chair on set as he’s waiting to be called for the next shot. The penis in question twitches in his shorts, and he winces because now is not the time, dammit. Sure, the competition on who’s gonna wear the shortest of shorts seemed fun when it started, but he wasn’t counting on Dylan texting things like this. And he can’t reply now. Can’t, because he has no idea where that conversation might lead, and if it goes any further than what his mind is already trying to come up with, the shorts will be very inconvenient.

It’s his own fault, really, for not checking all his texts before he got to set.

Tyler reluctantly taps into the reply space, and tries to think of a reply that’s not going to start an immediate conversation. Then he spots the time the text was sent -- 2am -- and it suddenly makes a little more sense.

I see your reunion with the Maze Runner crew went well.

He locks the phone’s screen right after he exits the messaging app, and when the PA calls his name, he’s relieved that he can leave the phone behind. It does take the whole walk around the house they’re filming at to clear his head though. Because penis talk from Dylan.

The shoot and the rest of the guys keep his mind occupied with normal things, and it's only on his way to the hotel that he thinks about the text again. He's checked his phone during breaks and lunch, but there was no response. There still isn't one, but Tyler isn't surprised. Considering that Dylan was still coherent enough to be texting at 2am, chances are that his hangover is of the “leave me alone to die” kind.

Once he's out of the shower -- a long one, to give his body some hydration back after the whole day in the sun -- there is a bunch of notifications right in the middle of his phone screen.

Shit dude, sorry.

But I do.

I mean, I do think you should be proud. Your dick is awesome.

Fuck. Sorry. Will I get away with saying I'm still drunk?

Tyler chuckles at the texts and the rambling. Dylan’s not Stiles, but sometimes they have things in common, and the chattiness -- with people he knows well -- is one of them. He’s yet to understand why some people find it annoying or anything but charming. Then again, he’s maybe a little biased when it comes to Dylan’s… anything.

No.

It’s a simple text, and yet it takes him a good few minutes to press send. Because it means that he’s opening a conversation which could lead just about anywhere.

The reply comes faster than he expected it to.

Shit. Thought you’d let my stupidity go this time.

You’re not stupid.

Maybe not now. I was a drunk idiot last night though.

I mean, it wasn’t a false statement. Just not something I meant for you to know.

Well, no, I want you to know that your dick is awesome. You probably do.

Okay, please text back to stop me.

LOL

That’s not funny. You’re not funny.

Lies. I’m hilarious.

I believe that’s my line.

Except when you say it, it’s a lie.

I am wounded Hoech. Wounded.

LOL

You’re laughing at me. I’m mortally offended.

And yet you’re still texting me.

I can stop. I just wanted to make sure that you know that I meant that text. Just didn’t mean to actually send it. Because awkward.

Maybe a little. Didn’t know you paid attention. Didn’t expect you to pay attention.

I don’t have your locker room “no homo” training. I liked what I saw then.

I feel like I should be offended by the “no homo” comment. But strangely I get what you mean.

Locker room training to not view other guys that way. You’ve got it. I don’t.

Who says I do?

Doubt you’ve ever seen me or Posey naked and saw us as anything else but your team buddies.

Not Posey, no.

He pauses and looks away from the screen, trying to catch his breath. It’s a confession, what he just said, and he’s… he wasn’t expecting the conversation to lead to that today.

Oh.

Me?

Tyler stares at the question and hovers his fingers over the phone screen. Because yes, Dylan. Yes, he noticed back then. He just wasn’t planning on ever admitting it, because for all he knows, Dylan’s never been into anything but girls. And admitting bisexuality was a surefire way to make things awkward. Only a few people in Tyler’s life know, and one of them is Colton, who’s been sworn to secrecy. Colton, and who isn’t out either.

Yes.

Again, sending the reply takes a while. Tyler types it, then deletes the word, then types it again. It’s the only word on his mind, so he eventually bites the bullet and hits send. Then he tries to ignore the dots indicating that Dylan’s typing a response, and he fails miserably, eyes glued to the ominous sign of… well, nothing good. It either means that Dylan’s writing a long-winded rejection, or that he doesn’t know how to write it.

He’s about to toss the phone on his bed and ignore it for the rest of the night when a text finally comes through.

Me too.

Tyler stares, and then another text comes.

Not me, obviously. You. I noticed. As I made painfully clear with the text last night.

When he reads it, Tyler chuckles quietly, a little from the shock of Dylan’s admission, a little from relief that it wasn’t a flat out rejection.

I’m surprised you remember. It’s been years.

Too long, if anyone was to ask Tyler. It’s been way too long since they were living in the same space, since he had a chance to be around Dylan for that amount of time. Sure, on set, they were still close and hung out the year after the move to LA, and they had on set time together too. But the last season was… well, there were multiple reasons for why they weren’t spending as much time together anymore. Tyler refuses to acknowledge his own avoidance of anything Dylan-shaped during the filming of that season. Or during the breaks, when he’d hide in his trailer and complained to Colton about the lack of screentime for him and Dylan together.

It has. I might need a memory refresher.

Tyler is glad he’s not drinking or eating, because the response from Dylan would’ve made him spit out anything that was in his mouth. It’s not like it’s a shocker for Dylan to be direct, Tyler’s just never had it directed at him. Not in this way. Not when it feels almost like flirting. He wonders for a beat if that’s what the conversation has turned into.

Only if that’s something you’d be okay with.

Maybe not like, texting, but meet up?

Normal meeting up, I mean. You’re in Texas, right? We could, if you have a free weekend coming up. It’s been months, man.

Okay, please say something before I propose something too embarrassing, like that I won’t blow you on the first date.

Shit, how do I unsend a text?

Hoech?

Sorry.

Tyler winces, because he’s imagining Dylan’s face going from eager and amused to panicking and worried. He quickly presses on the screen so that Dylan can at least see that he’s still alive, then realises that seeing the ominous dots on the screen is probably worse. But he’s not sure what to reply, since his mind has been utterly blown by Dylan’s words.

BJs are a third date thing.

He almost facepalms when he sends the text, but it’s done. And it was Dylan who mentioned the date thing in the first place, so Tyler isn’t reading too much into where their conversation has gone. At least he hopes he isn’t.

Right. So, breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Then BJ?

I’ve been told I have the mouth for it.

Tyler falls onto his bed and breathes for a moment, one arm thrown over his face, fingers wrapped tightly around the phone. Because Dylan isn’t wrong, and Tyler is all too aware -- thanks to several unmentionable dreams and fantasies -- just how much of a mouth for blow jobs Dylan has. He’s not going to ask where Dylan heard it, or who it was that told him, but it’s not something that Tyler hasn’t thought about before.

He takes a few deep breaths before he looks at his phone again.

And well, we already established that I think your dick is great.

Tyler groans again, his dick very much interested in the imagery that Dylan’s texts are providing.

Date first? I could fly over two weeks from now, long weekend. Or you could, when you get time off. It’s off the radar here.

I’m off this weekend, we’re still just rehearsing. That OK? Too soon?

Let me know when, I’ll come get you from Austin. And it’s been years. Not too soon.

Sap. Can’t wait. I’ll text you the deets when I get them. It’s a date.

Tyler is still grinning when he puts the phone down on his nightstand. He didn’t think they’d ever get there, let alone that it’d take drunk-texting, but he’s not going to complain.

When his phone beeps with a text from Dylan a little while later, it makes Tyler downright giddy to see the flight confirmation.

See you soon.

Can’t wait.

He would say that he doesn’t spend the rest of the evening smiling, but it would be a blatant lie.

#hobrien #eternalhobrien #otp: tension and the spark #jen's attempts at words

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kingsterracerp-blog · 7 years ago

Photo

Thank you for applying, JOE. You have been accepted as VALENTINA LOPEZ. Just don’t forget to check out our CHECKLIST and send in your account within 24 HOURS. If you have any questions then let us know!

OUT OF CHARACTER.

NAME: Hey, I’m Joe. AGE: 21. TIMEZONE: GMT. ACTIVITY LEVEL: 7 - I just finished my degree and have the summer off, so I would expect to be free quite a lot of the time. I haven’t RPed in over 6 months though so it might take me a bit to get back into the swing of things but I’m super excited to get making stories again. PRONOUNS: he / him. SHIPS: Valentina / Chemistry ANTI-SHIPS: Valentina / No Chemistry TRIGGERS: Removed. PASSWORD: Removed. ANYTHING ELSE: Removed.

IN CHARACTER.

DESIRED CHARACTER: Valentina Camila Lopez NICKNAMES: Val / V AGE/BIRTH ORDER: 21, youngest twin. FACECLAIM: Naya Rivera GENDER IDENTITY/PRONOUNS: She / Her. SEXUAL/ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Valentina isn’t a fan of labels but for the sake of simplicity she would refer to herself as bisexual / fluid. HOMETOWN: Corpus Christi, Texas. OCCUPATION/EDUCATION: Majoring in Journalism at Suffolk University; blogger and; part-time babysitter.

(MORE) IN CHARACTER.

POSITIVES: determined, loyal and charismatic. NEGATIVES: feisty, opinionated, and “unethical”.

@ValentinaLopez: one of my life goals is to be as bad-ass and empowered as Olivia Pope. @ValentinaLopez: sometimes I wish I wore a fake wedding ring to repel creeps in the club #boybye @ValentinaLopez: Little Mix are legit our generation’s Spice Girls #igotthepower

BIOGRAPHY.

Valentina grew up in the South Texas region of The Lone Star State, and she would describe her childhood as relatively happy and undramatic. Though raised as a Roman Catholic, Valentina struggled with her faith throughout her youth. The young girl found much of what she was taught to be outdated, overly conservative and unfairly restrictive. Even now in her twenties, Valentina still has very little grasp on her religious beliefs; whilst she does not identify as Roman Catholic, she often hears the condemnation of her family and neighbours, bringing back the fear of God which had once been a spectre over her childhood. She believes she has Faith, but what in is up for debate.

Growing up, Valentina felt extremely underestimated. Her peers saw her some “dumb, hot, cheerleader type”, a rival to the girls and a conquest for the guys, whilst even her teachers argued she was, in the words of one, “nothing but a pretty face”. The Lopez family themselves expected, and hoped that, Valentina would fall into a submissive career, marry a wealthy husband and then become the perfect housewife / mother. Far more ambitious than anyone ever gave her credit for, Valentina was determined to be more than the “hot classmate” or “trophy wife”. Somewhat under the radar, academically, until High School, it was only here that the young girl seized the opportunity to defy her critics and family. Continually tutoring herself outside of school, attending extra classes when possible, and devoting much of her social life to study, Valentina soon shone as one of the brightest in her cohort. Those around her still failed to take her seriously, continuing to focus on her looks, and so she felt as powerless as ever. She was underestimated, constantly judged and the topic of rumours.

At just the right moment however, Valentina’s luck changed. It was here, in her early teens, that she stumbled upon a highly publicised newspaper article by a journalist - a reporter who was, like herself, female and of colour. Valentina began to wonder about the possibility of writing as an outlet. Feeling her words was surely stronger than the grade on her latest paper? Reading her thoughts would surely assert some authority amongst her peers?Soon, putting pen to paper gave Valentina a sense of power in herself, and it gave her a voice. Whether it be song-writing about being broken-hearted, or penning articles about inequality in her school, a young Valentina learnt the power of words. Even unpublished work gave her power and confidence, and for once, Valentina felt like she was shining. Before too long, Valentina was Editor of the student newspaper and had exposed numerous scandals and information - much to the excitement of her peers. Valentina had perhaps found too much of a voice though, something classmate Vera Williams experienced first hand. Vera had long branded the former as a “whore”, theorising that Valentina’s good grades were merely due to “inappropriate extracurricular activities” with her professors. Valentina however had the last laugh, publishing a damning article of eighteen year old Vera’s own make-out sessions with the married sports coach. The school board, and of course the Williams family, requested Valentina scrap the article, though an empowered and no longer willing to be controlled Valentina independently exposed the story anyway. Nobody and nothing was off limits, for better or for worse.

As she neared towards her High School graduation, Valentina began the inevitable search for a suitable University. Through her research, the young woman discovered a familiar face within the faculty at Suffolk University, Boston; the journalist who inspired her interest in writing had since become a professor. It that wasn’t fate, or a sign, then Valentina didn’t know what was. Excelling in her application, the young woman immediately became a protege of the professor right from the start, and is no longer willing to just survive amongst her peers - she wants to thrive, to shine and to be the best that she possibility can.

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST STRENGTH? HOW DOES IT COME IN HANDY?

I don’t take any shit. I used to be such a push-over and let myself be a victim, but now I demand what I want. I know what I want, need or expect from a situation and if that’s not on the cards, then I’m out. Determined yeah, let’s call it determination. It comes in handy because I’m not the type of girl to be taken advantage of, professionally or socially, and so that saves a lot of heartache I suppose.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST WEAKNESS? HOW DOES IT AFFECT YOUR DAY-TO-DAY LIFE?

I guess that I’m opinionated and don’t give a shit. People then take me as a bitch etc, unfairly or fairly who knows? It pushes people away from me, I suppose. Yeah, people are wary of me, and perhaps see me as some ruthless, self-centred woman - which is not necessarily true. Yes, I am ambitious, but I’m not heartless, and if anything, I want to help people. I want to give people a voice, people who perhaps feel voiceless or are denied a voice by society. Does that make me selfish or ruthless or heartless? If so, then I’m okay with that.

WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN TEN YEARS?

Successful. Empowered. In Love. I expect a lot of the next ten years. It’s easy to get distracted in a Disney-like dream, and hope for a fairy-tale marriage and 2.4 children or whatever the stupid average is - but life isn’t so simple. I would like to hope I’m happy, nobody whether I’m living in a beautiful home with a handsome husband, or whether I live in an apartment with a cat. Spoiler alert, but as long as I don’t end up like Zoe in House of Cards then I won’t complain.

WHAT BROUGHT YOU TO KING’S TERRACE?

I’m a student here in the city, and unfortunately I had to leave my old apartment after disputes with my landlord. The place was totally illegal, and I guess we were both stubborn - so I decided to cut and run. He’s lucky I didn’t publish something about it. Moving on though; I heard about this place from a friend. There’s actual fire safety so it’s already one up on the old place.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME AND TELL YOUR YOUNGER SELF SOMETHING, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

I would tell her that nobody is born without a voice. Some people just speak louder, but eventually, even the quiet kids get to scream - and when they do, it’s even more powerful. Once you find your voice, V, they’ll never be able to shut you up ha!

#lopez #valentina lopez #accepted

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alligotleftismyjim · 8 years ago

Note

TV SERIES ASKS shadowhunters /and/ star trek (both please 😁) cause I'm nothing if not predictable & a total stan of ur blog

Kay, so this took a whole lot longer than expected cause college decided to dump shit on me all at once so some of the Shadowhunters feelings are out of date but I don’t have enough time to go back and rewrite all that but I’m just gonna have a brief scream about ep10 cause good goddamn that was intense. And I’m gonna apologize for the massive post ahead but I’m on mobile and don’t know how to do a read more so if you don’t want to read my thoughts on Shadowhunters and Star Trek, feel free to scroll by. Secondly, @sybil-branson-jr I’m so sorry it took me so long to answer this and I’m totally not worthy to have such an awesome follower like you and your blog is awesome and sunny and makes me happy 💛💛💛💛

send me a tv series and I’ll tell you:

Shadowhuntersmy all-time ultimate fave character: MAGNUS BANE. He’s my all time fave for so many reasons but mainly cause he’s such a complex character and we’re FINALLY getting to see more aspects of his personality and it’s really really nice to see my sexual orientation represented in a way that doesn’t make it seem like all bisexuals are up for threesomes and that we can’t be in a monogamous relationship

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: I absolutely used to hate Maryse. But after ep8 and the seeing her begin to realize her past actions were pretty shitty, she’s starting to grow on me. I’m a fan of multi-dimensional characters and seeing her struggle with being a good (emotions cloud judgement) shadowhunter while having to go through the thing with Robert and trying to be a good mother while still following orders and wanting her son to be happy but still having trouble accepting downworlders is really interesting to me. You can tell she really does want Alec to be happy and that she really does care for Jace but she is still a shadowhunter and that creates a really interesting internal struggle that I really wanna see more of.

a character I used to like but now don’t: This doesn’t really apply? Cause I love them all. Valentine is a massive asshole but he makes a really good villain. And Iris was just introduced this season and again, she’s supposed to be a villain so you were never really supposed to like her.

a character I’m indifferent about: I’m pretty indifferent about Lydia but it’s mainly because she hasn’t been in that many episodes and we don’t have much of a backstory for her. We know she was in love and he was killed so now she’s dedicated to her work. But that’s about it. She’s a badass shadowhunter and I’m dying to see more of her.

a character who deserved better: ALL OF THEM. They all deserve to be happy and not have to worry about the literal world ending. Magnus deserves recognition for the sheer amount of stuff he does to save everyone and he deserves to not be treated like shit because he’s a warlock. Alec deserves to be happy with his boyfriend and not feel so guilty over feeling like he failed as a shadowhunter because he couldn’t keep Jace from Valentine, he let a demon into the Institute and he killed Jocelyn. Isabelle deserves better cause the smartest shadowhunter in the Institute doesn’t deserve to be relegated to an almost background character whose current storyline revolves around drug addiction. Jace deserves better cause poor guy was psychologically and physically abused by Valentine, then rescued, then forced to go on the run because the Clave thought he was working with Valentine. Luke deserves better because he had just gotten Jocelyn back and then Valentine’s demon killed her. And he’s been such a good father figure to Clary and Simon but we’ve barely seen him this season and so far he’s lost the love of his life, reunited with his sister only for her to be taken from him by the man who betrayed him and turned him into a werewolf, and was lied to and tricked by one of the only people that’s still alive that he cares about. I could go on and on.

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: Alec and literally any female character ever. He’s gay. As in into guys. He’s not bisexual. He’s not straight or pansexual or anything else. He’s gay and his boyfriend is the High Warlock of Brooklyn. And I’m not super into Alec x Jace but that’s mainly because I can’t see them as anything other than brothers and parabatai.

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: MALEC. And it’s not just because they’re the only canon couple on the show. I just love their dynamic and the fact that they’re both figuring out their relationship together. Matt and Harry’s chemistry makes the relationship feel so real and natural and I applaud them for caring so much about Magnus and Alec and how dedicated they are to getting the relationship right.

a cute, low-key ship: I’m so here for Clary x Isabelle. We got a few Clizzy scenes last season and early on this season. And before the whole yin-fen mess, they were getting closer and their relationship could easily read as the beginnings of a romantic relationship.

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: I’m not really sure what ships would be unpopular? Cause I’ve seen people ship just about everyone with each other? And typically the really unpopular ships are unpopular for reasons I agree.

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: I understand why it happened but I am definitely not a fan of Magnus x Camille. I fully respect that Camille helped Magnus out of a bad place in his life but abusive and manipulative relationships are never ever okay. Thankfully, everyone seems to agree that Camille was a terrible person and I haven’t seen anyone ship them romantically. I’ve only ever seen Camille as an ex in fics or as someone who causes tension between Magnus and Alec.

my favourite storyline/moment: the wedding kiss scene will go down as one of my absolute favorite moments but I’m a big sucker for any malec scene. I absolutely lost it when Alec met Madzie and I really wanna see Alec with more small children now.

a storyline that never should have been written: I’m not a big fan of the yin-fen storyline just because I don’t seen much of a point to it right now. I’m trying to keep an open mind because so far, the show has been amazing. I really hope there’s a point to this whole storyline so I won’t say I don’t think it should’ve been written yet, but I’m just not a fan.

my first thoughts on the show: the whole reason I started watching was because I saw people on my dash royally loosing their shit over some couple (malec) on some fantasy show (shadowhunters). I’m a sucker for an awesome canon couple and once I started watching the show, I marathoned all of season 1 in like three nights over the summer. I’m a sucker for a well done fantasy show (early seasons of Supernatural) and, slightly questionable special effects aside, I felt shadowhunters was really well done. For being based off a book series with a questionable author and for seemingly flying under the radar until the show, I was completely taken with the characters and the storylines.

my thoughts now: I’m in love. I’m completely obsessed. As you can tell, my blog has completely shifted from a Star Trek blog to a Shadowhunters blog. Part of that is from the lack of Star Trek on my dash and not having new content every week like a tv show, but I’ve also fallen in love with the characters and storylines and I firmly believe that this cast is the most amazing cast ever. They care so much about the show and their characters and they all seem like they’re awesome friends.

Star Trek (I’m gonna do the reboot movies cause that’s what got me into Star Trek and I have more opinions about the movies than any of the tv series)

send me a tv series and I’ll tell you:my all-time ultimate fave character: LEONARD H MCCOY 4LIFE. I love my grumpy southern doctor who acts like he doesn’t care but actually cares so deeply about his friends and everyone on the ship cause man can I relate to that

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: not applicable because they are all my children and I love them all

a character I used to like but now don’t: again with the not applicable

a character I’m indifferent about: Carol Marcus. Which is mainly Abrams’ fault since he apparently has a phobia of giving out characters’ backstory. I’d love to see more of her because I think she’s incredibly brilliant and she’d be a great addition to the rest of the crew.

a character who deserved better: ALL OF THEM! Kirk deserves to not feel like he’ll never live up to his dad’s legacy. Spock deserves to not feel like he doesn’t fit in anywhere because of his half Vulcan-half human heritage. McCoy deserves to be treated like a goddamn part of the triumvirate because he fuCKING IS. I AM SO SALTY ABOUT HIM BARELY BEING A PART OF THE BIG THREE IN THE FIRST MOVIE AND BEING PRACTICALLY WRITTEN OUT OF MOTHERFUCKING SECOND MOVIE. PRAISE THE LORD FOR STAR TREK BEYOND AND THE INCREDIBLE LEONARD MCCOY BEING TREATED LIKE THE VERY IMPORTANT MAIN CHARACTER THAT HE IS. I have lots of feelings about how his character has been treated and I could rant forever about it

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: I was never really able to get super into any ships that had Chekov in them just because Anton looked so young in the first two movies. But then Beyond happened and apparently Chekov was hitting the gym on the five year mission cause our friendly Russian navigator got ripped.

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: MCKIRK. I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP!!! The grumpy southern doctor loves the literal ray of sunshine captain. And the literal ray of sunshine captain loves the grumpy southern doctor. And they’re already such good friends and obviously care about each other (“I couldn’t just leave you there lookin’ all pathetic”). They just seem to fit together. McCoy is able to ground Kirk when he’s in danger of getting too wrapped up in his own head and Kirk is able to bring out McCoy’s more adventurous side and they just make each other better. I could continue to wax poetic but this post is already gonna be massive

a cute, low-key ship: Spuhura is my jam. Like cute little finger kisses in the hallway or turbo lift or under the table in the mess hall. And Uhura being able to talk to Spock in Vulcan and give him that little piece of home is just adorable

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: again, I don’t really know any unpopular ships? I can only think of Khan x Bones but I don’t see much of it and I really don’t like it.

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: Khan x anyone. I just can’t get behind that. Especially Khan x Bones. Just nope.

my favourite storyline/moment: I really enjoyed all of Beyond simply because it felt like it finally got back to the root of what Star Trek means: to explore new cultures with an open mind and offer up the best of humanity. So that’s probably my favorite storyline. My favorite moment was probably when it was revealed, in a completely un-dramatic way, that Sulu was gay. It was such a small moment but the reveal was done is such a quiet and nonchalant way that, it seemed to me, the writes sought to normalize the fact that Sulu has a husband and an adorable daughter. Which is awesome. Whenever a straight character is revealed to have a spouse or children, there’s never this big dramatic reveal so why should it be any different for a same-sex couple? I dunno. I just thought it was a really sweet moment and a nice nod to George Takei and the original series. Plus we had Simon Pegg basically say ‘fuck it’ and made everyone some orientation other than straight.

a storyline that never should have been written: I don’t get why they had to kill off Amanda in the first movie? Like? Spock’s planet was already destroyed and it’s not like he and Kirk bonded over both losing a parent? It just seemed pretty pointless to me plus all the scenes we got with Spock and Amanda were so sweet. I would’ve loved to have seen more of them

my first thoughts on the show: I think I remember being immediately engrossed in the movie. Since it opens in space, I was instantly pulled into this amazing futuristic world. And then I got to see cocky young Kirk and bby Spock then cocky older Kirk and sassy older Spock. AND THEN I got to meet my favorite salty southern doctor and I was never the same

my thoughts now: *aggressively hums theme music* I love Star Trek so much. To me, it showcases the best of what humanity has to offer and it shows us how to embrace other cultures and beliefs. Especially with the current political situation (I’m in the US), it’s seems more important now to be tolerant and accepting of people from other cultures and ethnic groups. I saw a post going around a little bit ago that was talking about how the person thought they should honor Anton. They pointed out Chekov was always supposed to show how the US and Russia would be able to overcome the tension between the countries. So the OP said they thought it’d be a nice nod to the original point of the character of Chekov to have a new navigator on the Enterprise and have them be a Muslim woman and I whole heartedly agree. I don’t want to see Chekov be killed off. Just have him be transferred to another ship and let the Enterprise have a new badass Muslim lady as the navigator. Or any other minority that is underrepresented

#shadowhunters #star trek #asks #it's so long #i'm so sorry #i'm not computer savvy enough to make it not so long

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monstersarealwayshungryrpg-blog · 7 years ago

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Congratulations Tasha! You have been accepted as The Hanged Man! (FC: Lindsey Morgan)

This was an incredible app, wonderfully written and perfectly capturing what we hoped to see for The Hanged Man. Emerson’s past especially was beautifully detailed and heartbreaking. We all honestly can’t wait to see what you’ll do with her next! Make sure to follow the checklist and send us your account within 48 hours! WELCOME TO THE ARCANA RING, TASHA. WE HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR STAY.

Out Of Character Information

Name: Tasha Pronouns: She/Her Age: 19

In Character Information

Skeleton Applying for: The Hanged Man Faceclaim: Lindsey Morgan, Caitlin Stasey Character’s Full Name: Emerson de la Rosa Age: Twenty-seven Gender and Sexuality: Cisfemale & Bisexual

Character Bio: ( tw death, murder, drugs, mentions of blood )

t h e p a s t .

“they say that love makes you blind, but that’s not the case for me. if anything, my love is understanding. my love is clarity.”

ink bleeds through the pages of her storytelling medium, another line engraved with the handwriting of a failed author, pagination stained not only with penned words but with the lingering marks of spilled tears. writing had always been one of her multitude of aspirations, a jack-of-most trades who’d been told from the start that her purpose in life was clear; that success was a road paved by the trailblazers of tomorrow, and emerson de la rosa was raised to believe she’d be an innovator of her generation, destined to accomplish all that which her family had failed before her.

but perhaps that wasn’t the case, call it fate or karma or even the universe conspiring against her, but emerson’s life quickly became riddled with the trials and tribulations of love. of one woman in particular, nestled now in her cot, one whose bloodstained hands mosaicked porcelain sheets with dried crimson drawn, as she so claimed, from revenge.

unlucky for her, emerson was nothing like her characters, the levelled head on her shoulders couldn’t be matched by the shrill beating of her yearning heart, enticed by the very same anomaly of emotions which drove her father to become a conspiracist, constantly searching the globe for the young child’s mother, who had, by some unnatural force of enigma, vanished seemingly into thin air.

years later, when france police would finally uncover a body, floating along the bank of la seine, father would refuse to believe it. though he was a native brit with no knowledge of how france works he’d still claim it to be nothing more than a rouse of the monarchy staging a kidnap and “reprogramming” (as he’d so fondly call it) as a homicide, he’d abandoned his daughter in a foreign city in pursuit of the truth, only to repeat the cycle of disappearance, never to grace emerson’s presence again.

that’s when she met her, the woman in her bed, the one who’d offered her salvation in welcoming arms and cared for her for five years. hers was the spark which ignited emerson’s passion for writing, the muse for her relentless inspiration, and though she’d ignored all the warning signs and the foreshadowing ever evident even in her real life, emerson would soon find that the reverse hangman led to martyrdom, and that, it seemed, was the true destiny for those in the life she’d been granted.

but emerson was loyal to a fault, willing to sacrifice even her own happiness for the sake of love, and so when the mysterious woman confided in her the truth of her origin, that she, in fact, was in hiding from france government under a new alias not only for the crime of identity theft but, in fact, for murder, emerson didn’t bat an eye. her love would be a life reborn through sanction and safety, whereas emerson would blindly dial the police station, prepared to find herself behind bars, until it came to light that this one murder was not actually one murder but rather a string of murders, that the woman in her bed was a serial killer they’d been searching for years to find and finally, they had her. the very same woman who’d murdered emerson’s mother.

once the truth came out, the woman disappeared, and with it, any chance emerson had of redemption. because she’d already confessed to one. now the rest were implied, and her fate had been sealed.

but emerson knew nothing of criminal minds nor how to become one, and she knew even less about how to save herself, so she’d emulated the solution of the one she’d once loved and fled, too. before the police could arrive at her home and take her, ruin her. but that didn’t stop the news, nor the media, nor the stories of her apparent violent and psychopathic nature.

t h e p r e s e n t .

that’s when emerson became emerson and was no longer rosalie martinez, when she’d learnt to master the art of identify theft and took it upon herself to immerse herself into a new life. a drug dealing life. truly, she had nothing left to lose, and though rumours of the great Red Rose Killer (as they so kindly referred to her these days) ran rampant through the cobblestone alleyways of paris, emerson never could quite fathom the ability to take someone else’s life. but she had the quick mind for dealing, for secrecy, sneaking, darting under the radar of the law.

hers was the time of resurrection, when twenty five year old girl would learn how to stay alive in a time of corruption, no longer the naive, innocent child riddled with the complexities of infatuation and yet she can’t help the way her heart tugs for something more, calling out for a love to replace the one she thought she had. now, though, it’s been two, loveless years, an era dedicated to the distribution of illicit substances and the furtherance of her criminal agenda, of acquiring some bit of wealth to draw her out of poverty and starvation. finally, she’d found solace under the guise of criminal intentions and is determined to prove herself worthy to The World, the one who’d picked her off the streets and gave her a life after the death of her prior self. maybe now she’s not completely the same, but. she’s a survivor. and after all, that’s really the most she can do anymore.

t h e p e r s o n a l i t y .

loving is easy and natural, emerson claims, though she tends to throw herself prematurely into connections with those who could fatally harm her. she wants nothing more than to succeed in this new world of crime, just as she had some years ago, and desperately seeks the world’s approval as the mentor her father should’ve been. she’s determined, cautiously optimistic and quick on her feet, though she’s been hardened from some time on the streets she refrains from resorting to violence unless completely necessary. her heart is pure though recently her morals have become quite fluid, but she’s learning to adapt and can be quite versatile. however, she’s arguably still naive in many respects and has a hard time letting go of the past traumas that may haunt her. emerson definitely lacks self confidence at times, albeit she’s anything but defenseless. she’s competent enough to protect herself, though usually relies heavily on her quick wit to get her out of tricky scenarios. all in all, she’s just a lost girl desperate to survive, seeking homes in the form of people and eager to prove to everybody that she’s much less than the girl who ruined her life for someone who could never love her in return.

Extra: i don’t have photoshop so i usually refrain from making graphics and the like, and my character’s tag will come if i get accepted and as i play/get a feel for her character more! however, i have a few headcanons i can list;

i imagine her father had always been a conspiracist, though this hobby grew into an obsession following his wife’s disappearance. part of why emerson is so well-read and adaptable is because he was constantly prepping her for the worst case scenarios, all these fantasy possibilities in his head that would require for her to survive, and though emerson never believed them to be true, she always had an overactive imagination and, as a kid, entertained herself by reading shelves full of her father’s conspiracy novels.

she keeps a knife and pepper spray hidden somewhere on her person at all times, though she’s never used the former before, the pepper spray definitely came in handy one a few too many times. she refuses to keep a gun consistently with her, though, because she has no trust in her ability to utilize it properly, and is too petrified of fatally wounding someone under the guise of self-defence.

for the most part, emerson tries to use as many all-natural, cruelty-free products as possible. this is especially the case in her hobbies, where she will craft her own pastels and paints for artwork, as well as scavenging for recycled papers to use for writing. anything to help the environment in some form or fashion, even given her financial status and limited accessibility to resources.

emerson’s family owned a ranch back in england, and she had a black shire horse named acacia, a massive horse who she’d insist on riding despite being so young and small. following the discovery of her mother’s body, they sold the ranch, and emerson was forced to abandon her horse, but she keeps a picture of the two of them together in a keepsake box with some other belongings.

along those lines, emerson was an independent child growing up, and refused to participate in group curricular. instead, she took much more to horseback riding and archery. in fact, she’s still a very skilled archer to this day, though she doesn’t quite flaunt it, and only dabbles with archery as a means of both focusing as well as directing her concentration

Anything Else: i think that’s about it, lovelies! i hope everything okay, and of course, contact me if there’s anything you’d like clarification for! thanks so much for your consideration, and the roleplay looks amazing, you guys should be super proud! <3

#accepted #the hanged man

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lexacourtney · 5 years ago

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Thank God that the majority of the books I hauled in February are eBooks, because I do not have room on my shelf for SEVENTEEN new books. I would need a whole new shelf for last month’s haul.

I didn’t realize I’d hauled so many, since most were on my Kindle, and there were only six sitting on my shelf. I’ve read a lot of these…well, eight of them, and I’ve enjoyed them. Others are eARCs off NetGalley. Then there are a couple that were Kindle One-Click buys and some freebies and too good to miss discounts.

Basically, I acquired more eBooks in Feb 2020, than I’ve acquired in literal months.

I’m going to stop trying to intro this blog post, and just get into the books I hauled last month. It’s probably going to take me a year as it is, so better to stop procrastinating.

The Bone Charmer (The Bone Charmer #1) – Breeana Shields

(US Hardcover – Signed) / ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ / Review / GR

Saskia knows her mother saw multiple paths for her, yet chose one she knew Saskia wouldn’t want. Their argument leads to a fracture in one of the bones. Broken bones are always bad luck, but this particular set of bones have been infused with extra magic, and so the break has devastating consequences—Saskia’s future has split as well. Now she will live her two potential paths simultaneously. Only one future can survive. And Saskia’s life is in danger in both.

I read an ARC of this a while back and absolutely loved it. So much, and I highly recommend. Unfortunately, when I moderated Brigid and Breeana’s signing, I wasn’t able to get a copy of her book. The Christiana Barnes and Noble was kind enough to notify me when they got signed copies in stock and I was able to snag one that way. It might only be March, but this is one of my fave 2020 reads.

Chasing Lucky – Jenn Bennett

(eARC NetGalley) / GR

In this coming-of-age romance perfect for fans of Jenny Han and Sarah Dessen, scandal and romance collide when an ambitious teen returns to her hometown only to have her plans interrupted after falling for the town’s “bad boy”—a.k.a. her childhood best friend.

Honestly, this was ‘Read Now’ on NetGalley for like a hot second so I snagged it. I didn’t realize it was her newest release – I wasn’t paying attention – but it sounded cute, so I clicked it. I doubt I would have been approved otherwise. I’ve heard good things, so I’m looking forward to reading it. I’m rediscovering my love for YA contemporaries, so I’m hoping this doesn’t disappoint.

Chain of Gold (The Last Hours #1) – Cassandra Clare

(US ARC) / ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ / Review / GR

Welcome to Edwardian London, a time of electric lights and long shadows, the celebration of artistic beauty and the wild pursuit of pleasure, with demons waiting in the dark. For years there has been peace in the Shadowhunter world. James and Lucie Herondale, children of the famous Will and Tessa, have grown up in an idyll with their loving friends and family, listening to stories of good defeating evil and love conquering all. But everything changes when the Blackthorn and Carstairs families come to London…and so does a remorseless and inescapable plague.

I don’t understand how I won an ARC of this book. I don’t. When I saw the email from Simon and Schuster in my inbox I just kept going ‘No Way’ over and over and over. I loved this book. It’s been a while since I’ve read a Shadowhunter book and this did not disappoint. So good. Seriously.

You Don’t Live Here – Robyn Schneider

(US ARC) / GR

Robyn Schneider, author of The Beginning of Everything, delivers a witty and heartbreaking tale of first love, second beginnings, and last chances in this timely and authentic bisexual coming-of-age story, perfect for fans of Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera.

This is one of my top anticipated reads. I’ve loved every single YA contemporary Robyn has published, each new one becoming my new favorite book of hers. Invisible Ghosts is freaking amazing, you should read it. So, when I found out that she had a new book coming out, I desperately wanted a chance to read it early. I somehow was able to trade for this copy and I’m seriously dying to read it, but I have a few other closer upcoming releases I need to read first. I seriously cannot wait.

The Court of Miracles (The Court of Miracles #1) – Kester Grant

(eARC NetGalley) / GR

In the violent urban jungle of an alternate 1828 Paris, the French Revolution has failed and the city is divided between merciless royalty and nine underworld criminal guilds, known as the Court of Miracles. Eponine (Nina) Thénardier is a talented cat burglar and member of the Thieves Guild. Nina’s life is midnight robberies, avoiding her father’s fists, and watching over her naïve adopted sister, Cosette (Ettie). When Ettie attracts the eye of the Tiger–the ruthless lord of the Guild of Flesh–Nina is caught in a desperate race to keep the younger girl safe. Her vow takes her from the city’s dark underbelly to the glittering court of Louis XVII. And it also forces Nina to make a terrible choice–protect Ettie and set off a brutal war between the guilds, or forever lose her sister to the Tiger.

I requested this on a whim and fully expected to be declined. So needless to say, the email telling me I was approved was pretty shocking. Like most of these books on this list, I cannot wait to read this. It sounds amazing. I haven’t heard that much about it, but it seems to be getting a pretty good response.

The Hollow Gods (The Chaos Cycle Duology #1) – A.J. Vrana

(eARC NetGalley) / GR

A maelstrom of ancient grudges, forgotten traumas, and deadly secrets loom in the foggy forests of Black Hollow. Can three unlikely heroes put aside their fears and unite to confront a centuries-old evil? Will they uncover the truth behind the fable, or will the cycle repeat?

While I’m excited for this, I’m not 100% I’m going to love it, or that it’s going to be the book for me. Last year I read Marrow Charm, published with The Parliament House Press and it was so good it put me in a slump. Since then, I’ve been super anticipating books coming from this publisher, because they all sound so damn amazing. This one hit NetGalley and I knew I needed to give it a shot. I went into Marrow Charm with no expectations and was blown away, so I’m hoping for a repeat.

Mageborn (The Hollow King #1) – Jessica Thorne

(eARC NetGalley) / ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.5 / Review / GR

A dark and addictive fantasy read for fans of Graceling and Sarah J. Maas. The life of an orphan soldier becomes entwined with that of the mysterious heir to the throne, whose very presence draws out the secret magic living inside her: a magic that breaks every law she is duty-bound to uphold…

I requested this due to a line saying, “for fans of Sarah J. Maas and Graceling” and the cover. I didn’t even care what the specifics in the synopsis were. Then I realized that it was set to come out 8 days from when I requested. Then I was approved, and I read it. Y’all should read this book. If you’re an Elise Kova fan, you’re going to love this. I’m already tired of waiting for book 2, I want it now.

Undone (Unknown #3) – Wendy Higgins

(US Paperback) / ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ / Review / GR

Amber Tate never dreamed their heart-wrenching escape from the enemy’s attack would lead them to the most beautiful place she’s ever seen, marred by one ugly fact; it’s under enemy control. Like everywhere else in the world, Elmendorf military base in Alaska has been captured, and it’s time to take it back—all of it—one base, one city at a time. After losing so much, Amber clings to the only precious person she has left, and vows to sacrifice everything to help save the Earth.

Remy Haines is a lover, not a fighter, so when she finds herself in enemy territory, expected to feign allegiance while gathering intel for the rebel cause, she’s never been more out of her element. Tensions only increase when her feelings for Jacob “Tater” Tate won’t go away, and the enemy’s leader takes an interest in her. She’s torn between what her heart wants, and what she knows she should do. As for what her body needs…well, it’s always had a mind of its own.

I’m annoyed I’m done this trilogy. I need more SF dystopian in my life. I thought this book was a good ending to the trilogy, but I could easily read like 2-3 more books in this world, with these characters. If you’re looking for a NA, SF dystopian, slow burn romance, some alien invasion, and creating your own family, then look no further. This trilogy is slept on and more people should be reading it.

All the Stars and Teeth (All the Stars and Teeth #1)– Adalyn Grace

(OwlCrate Exclusive Hardcover) / GR

Set in a kingdom where danger lurks beneath the sea, mermaids seek vengeance with song, and magic is a choice, Adalyn Grace’s All the Stars and Teeth is a thrilling fantasy for fans of Stephanie Garber’s Caraval and Sarah J. Maas’s Throne of Glass series.

I’m really hoping I have time this month to read this. It’s been on my radar for months and I’m dying to get to it. I have a few other books I have to read, plus the last couple on my TBR. So, if I can get my act together and blow through some books, I should be able to read it.

No Man Can Tame (The Dark-Elves of Nightbloom #1) – Miranda Honfleur

(Kindle eBook) / GR

Aless and Veron face opposition at every turn, with humans and dark-elves alike opposing the union violently, as well as their own feelings of dissonance toward each other. Can two people from cultures that despise one another fall in love? Can a marriage between them bond two opposing worlds together, or will it tear them apart for good?

I don’t really know much about this, though, I think it’s a Beauty and the Beast retelling? I’m a fan of Miranda and her writing, so when this was either a freebie, or on sale for like $.99 I knew I needed to grab it.

Soul in Darkness – Wendy Higgins

(Kindle eBook) / ⭐️⭐️⭐️.5 / Review / GR

Based on the Roman/Greek mythology of Cupid and Psyche by Lucius Apuleius, New York Times bestseller Wendy Higgins brings the tale to life, weaving layers that show exactly how a sacrificial lamb can be enchanted by an unseen monster.

Okay, so I’ve read this, but over Valentine’s Day weekend, Wendy put it up for free and so I snatched a copy for my Kindle. I enjoyed the book and I’m always a fan of Wendy, her writing and the stories she tells, so I wanted to support her.

Witch of the Lake Trilogy – Miranda Honfleur & Nicolette Andrews

(Kindle eBook Box Set) / GR

Find out what lurks beneath the lake in FEAST OF THE MOTHER, the first entry in a romantic dark fantasy series inspired by Slavic mythology and folklore, sure to please fans of Juliet Marillier’s Blackthorn & Grim series and Naomi Novik’s Uprooted.

Again, I know pretty much nothing about this series, but Elise Kova posted, and it was only like, $.99 for all three, or something like that. I’d seen her talk about the books before, and I trust her opinion. So, when I saw the books for that price, I knew I’d have to be stupid to not spend the money.

The Will of Yggdrasil Series – Sara C. Roethle

(eARC & Kindle eBooks) / Fated, Fallen, Fury / GR

Previously the Bitter Ashes Series.

Fated Synopsis:

Madeline knew her life was strange, and not just because she could sense the emotions of others. Having people die by your hand on two separate occasions can make a girl question her very existence. Still, she never thought she’d wake up in a world straight out of Norse myth. A world where corpses reanimate all on their own . . . and she’s supposed to be their executioner.

A normal person would run screaming into the night, but there’s something about dark and alluring Alaric that’s giving Madeline pause, and it’s not the fact that he turns a little feline from time to time. Together they must search for an elusive magical charm, a remnant of the gods themselves. Madeline’s life depends on finding it first . . . and so does the entire fate of humanity.

Elise Kova posted in her Facebook group about the first book in this series – Fated and asked if anyone would be willing to read it and review it. There was a link to a free download, so I clicked. I didn’t realize that this series was a republished version of one of Sara’s earlier series, so I was a bit confused at first…then I blew through the first two books in like 8 hours? I’ve also already bought and downloaded book 3. Each time I finish a book in this series, I right away buy book 2. These are really easy to read and just enjoy and get lost in. I won’t go into too much detail since my review will be up soon, but so good.

The Queen’s Wing (The Queen’s Wing #1) – Jessica Thorne

(Kindle eBook) / GR

For any other young woman the chance to become royalty would be a dream come true, but for Bel, the rigidity of court life is like a prison sentence. And while Conleith is an unexpectedly intriguing – and attractive – puzzle… could she ever love him when it would mean turning her back on her feelings for Shae, her first love and last connection to home?

Then a brutal assassination attempt nearly takes her life, and Bel learns that there’s more on the line than just her happiness. Is it the same faceless enemy who attacked her homeland and, with dangers around every corner, who in the palace can she trust?

I think I saw an ad on Twitter that this book was on sale for $.99 and since I was a huge fan of Mageborn I figured I’d give this one a go! It sounds good and I’m now a Jessica Thorne fan. If worse comes to worst, I’m out $.99 but I doubt that’ll be the case.

Greythorne (Bloodleaf #2) – Crystal Smith

(US Coverless ARC) / ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ / Review / GR

Princess Aurelia’s life is turned upside down when the kingdom she thought she saved turns to ruin, a loved one is tragically killed in a shipwreck, and her home country refuses to respect her brother’s legitimate claim to the throne. With no place left to call her own, Aurelia returns to Greythorne Manor—her best friend’s family mansion—only to get swept up in a coup d’état on the night of her brother’s coronation.

With everyone turned against her and enemies closing in on all sides, Aurelia has nothing left to lose in a mad fight to protect the only people she has left—her family. But in her darkest moments when all seems grim, will Aurelia find a spark of hope from a love she thought long lost?

This book. It’s been weeks and I’m still not over it. I loved it so much. I was a fan of Bloodleaf, but it wasn’t an automatic favorite. Greythorne is an automatic favorite and you all are not ready for what Crystal pulls off – and pulls off spectacularly – in this book. It’s so amazingly good and ugh, the wait for book 3 might very well kill me. I’m really not over the ending of the book. At all.

Yikes, this is a long post, sorry about that! Hopefully next months won’t be as long…as I typed that, I realized that, that won’t be the case. I have two book events next month, plus at least 3 preorders, and a book box? March’s Haul post might very well rival this one.

Anyways!

What was your favorite book you hauled this month?

I’m kind of torn between Greythorne, You Don’t Live Here and Chain of Gold.

Feb’20 Book Haul So. Many. Books. omfg. #newpost #blogpost #bookpost #bookblog #books #blog #blogger #bloggerswanted #bloggerstribe #bloggingcommunity #bookish #bookhaul Thank God that the majority of the books I hauled in February are eBooks, because I…

#Book Blog #Book Haul #Book Post #book reviews #Bookish #books #New Post #Reading

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lexxikitty-blog1 · 6 years ago

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Whirlwind Romance by Kris Bryant Read: January 2016 Rating: 4.25 Stars

*I received this book from NetGalley in return for a fair review.*

My first book by this author.

This was a strange one for one specific reason - I've been reading so many books lately wherein the author felt the need to tell the story through many many points of view. This one? Just one point of view. From Tristan 'Tris' Stark. I guess 'strange' isn't exactly the correct word to use there.

Characters

The book has just one point of view, so let's start with her:

Tristan 'Tris' Stark is a 28/29 year old woman who works as a storm chaser during the storm season, and a university professor during the fall semester. If I recall one conversation correctly, Tris works as a teacher during the fall semester, a storm chaser during the spring semester, then spends the summer going over the data/film/pictures recovered during the storm chasing season.

What storms are chased? Well anything really, but mostly tornadoes. She does live and work where tornadoes are quite common.

Tris has worked for the last six years as a storm chaser, the entire time (unless I missed something) with a short-haired woman who looks like a lesbian, named Hunter. That particular aspect, about how attractive to the same sex Hunter could be, is brought up once or twice (or more). She's not actually a lesbian though (nor bisexual, nor interested in anyone but her musician boyfriend).

I got side tracked there mentioning Hunter. I had only meant to say: Tris has worked the last six years as a storm chaser with Hunter. Several times in the book two other people are mentioned, their parts are so small that I will probably get their names wrong. I believe it's Adam and Ryan. Also, 'teams' gets mentioned. About how there are teams sent out under the grant Tris got (and then failed to secure for the next season - major plot point here). But I am uncertain how the team system works. Since they never interact as a team. There's even a passage wherein Tris asked what the plans were for this other two person storm chasing team was for that night, with the expectation that she wouldn't get any information about which direction they planned to go or anything like that. Then internal mention that the storm might go north or south. I kind of got confused here. Two teams. Storm might go north or south. But they don't expect to coordinate at all? Granted, maybe I was wrong, but the reason for my confusion is the simple fact that I thought Tris was talking with people from her own university - on her own extended team. I must have gotten that part wrong.

Hmms. I kind of ruined the 'characters' section, didn't I? Mmphs.

Tris - 28/29 (she has a birthday during the storm season). Storm chaser. University teacher ('relatively new' at that, and forced to teach the 'boring' classes). Works with a woman named Hunter. Tris, apparently, is the one in charge of getting funding - which is a major plot point for two reasons: (1) funding for next season, a grant, fell through and Tris blames herself greatly for this failure; (2) there are trust issues wrapped up in the funding, tied directly to a former girlfriend, Julie, who 'stole' research, about 4 years ago, and screwed Tris -- therefore Tris is kind of naturally distrustful of motives/etc. when it comes to women/girlfriends and funding.

Hunter is a storm chaser who works with Tris. Despite looking like a lesbian (apparently), she has a boyfriend back home. Boyfriend doesn't 'mind' too much that she's on the road during storm season because he himself is a musician and has to go out on the road.

Maddox is a dog, a pitbull mix (I believe). He doesn't have his own point of view or anything like that, nor does the story follow him as he runs around. I've included him because he <i>is</i> quite important to Tris, Hunter, and, to a certain extent, the story.

Kate Brighten is a graduate student at a rival university who Hunter and Tris bump into (along with Gage, her storm chasing partner) while at a . . um . . . I'd like to say 'gas station/truck stop/food place'. Kate seems kind of stand offish and not particularly interested in Tris. Though there are some mixed signals going on. Which I mention because Tris kind of drools over Kate. Finds it hard to pull her eyes off of her.

Gage is the man Kate is chasing storms with. He doesn't really have much scenery to chew, so to speak. He's just there so that there's a reason Kate is out and about chasing storms, then to suddenly need to disappear because of an accident to his girlfriend, so that Kate has to ride with Tris/Hunter/Maddox. Then, later, be shown to be dangerously wild and reckless. He doesn't really have much of a personality or character beyond being a pivot point for other characters and plot points to pivot off of.

Others: there are, in fact, other people in this book.

Plot Tris, Hunter, and Maddox the dog are out driving around the midwest chasing storms. Getting caught in massive hail storms. Watching clouds to see if tornadoes form, watching radar. Etc. There is some exciting moments while this occurs.

While taking a break from driving, they pull into a rest area (I believe it's a gas station that has food, bathrooms, etc.). They bump into two other storm chasers, Kate and Gage. They interact, then all four go to dinner together (mostly because Tris wants to spend more time drooling over Kate).

Time passes but it isn't always possible to tell how much time has passed; at some point Tris and Hunter encounter Kate and Gage hurriedly rushing from a hotel (might have jumped the gun on conveying that 'time passing' part, since this might be the next morning). Gage had received a call that his girlfriend had been in an auto accident and he needs to get to her hospital. Unlike her normal attitude on having students in her car (isn't keen on the idea), Tris suggests that Kate ride with Hunter and herself until Gage can get back. Everyone agrees.

So, for two weeks or so, Kate, Hunter, Tris, and Maddox drive around chasing storms.

More or less immediately, the story turns. One night, Tris' birthday night to be exact, the not-very-talkative Kate follows Tris when Tris takes a break from the party. To get air. To walk Maddox. The 'story turns' part involves what happens next. Apparently Kate was, in fact, also attracted to Tris. Unlike herself, Tris finds herself in a rather public sexual situation out in a parking lot. So, yes, the story turns. From being one that follows storm chasers, to one that does that plus has lots and lots of sex.

Naturally, to continue the plot section, 'something' occurs to cause 'issues' with this budding romance. Time must pass before the relationship might move to the next level. If it can.

Romance The romance in this book was between Tris, a woman of 28/29, and Kate, a woman of, if I recall correctly, 23. I might not recall the ages correctly. I liked how both were described out on the road. I . . um . . . lost my train of thought.

On the one hand, the romance isn't one I've seen, personally, a lot. It's quite possible that others have read stories like this numerous times and will be quite bored with it. But, for me personally, the romance was somewhat refreshing. Two women find that they are attracted to each other, they are in a difficult situation in that it is difficult to find alone time; and in that both are a long way from home in a 'roadtrip' type situation. Instead of just pining away, they actually do something (to a certain extent, that is somewhat the refreshing part; so many times I read something like this and they don't do anything . . . for hundreds of pages). On the other hand, they sure did things backwards. They were friendly-ish with each other first, true, but sex did come before a romantic relationship.

I'm not really sure what I'm trying to convey in this section. There was a romance, it involved Tris and Kate. Not that far apart in age, but 4 or 5 or 6 years is a biggish gap when you are in your twenties (well, see, I lifted that almost directly from the book, that concept). They both find the other attractive. They act on it. One has issues that keep them closed off more than they might otherwise be, while the other has trust issues that can be violated, and if violated will find it difficult to move past the feeling of broken trust.

Scenery/location The book wasn't located in any one location - even when the storm chasing season was over, the activity still wasn't in the same location. Since Kate lived an hour and a half away from where Tris lived.

I did have a strong sense, most of the time, of being out on the road, of being in the storms, or near, of being next to farmlands, small towns, and the like. Quite well conveyed there.

I had a strongish sense of what Tris's house was like, and what Kate's apartment . . . well, that it . . hmms. I had a strong sense of what Tris' house was like. Kate's place, ah, it's coming back to me. Up scale. Amenities. Located so that the sound of the wind isn't as hearable. I had no sense of the location, the 'place' Tris' house was located. I mean, the town/city/rural area. Nor do I have any impression of what might surround Kate's apartment.

Not necessarily the most important thing in a story like this - more important that the time on the road conveyed what it needed to convey, which it did.

Overall First off, in terms of the relationship, there were two cliches that popped up that seem to be used in romance books. I liked how they were used in this book here because they both seemed somewhat natural (to a certain extent) and weren't, in the case of the not actually mentioned storm related injuries, not used as a magical relationship cure. The two somewhat cliche like elements being miscommunication and I'm not actually sure what to call the second one (accidents? injuries/massive traumatic events that cause feelings to bounce around). The miscommunication here was more failure to communicate and was reasonable under the circumstances (I'm not sure if I should be purposely vague or not).

Right, so, now that I wrote a gibberish paragraph, let's move on. There was more sex than I expected. Having just one point of view was both somewhat refreshing, and somewhat limiting. Limiting in that I only had Tris view of Kate, and not Kate's own thoughts and desires. Though everything was conveyed quite well. Probably better, on one level, because I kind of ended up liking Kate, while my 'liking' for Tris was on a smaller level. Well, I liked both well enough.

In the end, I rather enjoyed the book and would give it a solid 4 stars (out of 5).

Review Written: January 27 2016

#Book Review #Lesbian Book Review #Bold Strokes Books #Netgalley #ARC #Lesbian Fiction #Lesbian Romance #Romance #Contemporary Romance #4.25 Stars #New Adult

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