#my birthdays in like 3 days . its on sunday someone do the math 4 me thanks

[29121996]

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[jawlawsenpai]

Foretell Chapter 2: Awakened

As he makes his way to school Simon meets up with Sebastian. Sebastian was wearing a black and red striped long sleeved shirt, while Simon on the other hand was wearing a blue shirt with a print of a cartoon turtle that has a lightning bolt on its shell with the text "I'm the fastest turtle alive." Sebastian saw Simon and waved at him.

"Morning!" Simon greets Sebastian.

"Hey! happy birthday... Are you okay? You look kinda pale." Sebastian asks.

"I had a really messed up nightmare and I really don't want to talk about it." Simon's proclamation.

"Okay then, so what do you want to cook tonight?"

"I was thinking, how about lasagna?"

"Oh yeah definitely your lasagna tastes amazing."

"Cool I'll make the list of ingredients later and we'll buy some at the store okay?"

"Sounds like a plan."

The two headed to class where they met their other friends. Vicky was wearing a Sunday dress that has floral designs and is still completely ignoring Simon. Liz is wearing a white and yellow blouse along with some jeans who also greeted Simon a happy birthday and once again Simon was red as an apple. Rob is wearing his signature red hoodie with a black shirt inside with a pac-man print on it ,he greeted the two boys and gave them both high fives. Vina was wearing a sleeveless white muscle shirt with a crow sitting on top of a skull as a design and ripped jeans, her hair is braided which gives her sex appeal a whole new level, she also has mascara on along with some leather bracelets. On the other hand her sister Rina is wearing a sweat jacket with a print of an aliens head with the text "believe" on it. The twins went up to Simon and hugged him while greeting him a happy birthday. A few moments later the teacher walks in and starts the class.

Without saying it everyone's excited for the party. Simon as well, he's looking forward to cook lasagna for his friends, but at the same time he still questions the nightmare that he saw. Who was that woman? What was that flower all about? How did he manage to dream something like that? Simon simply thought he should stop watching too much horror films.

After an excruciating math test, everyone was relieved for it to be over, more so for Simon's friends. This means that school is over and that they can party at Simon's place. They spent the entire day just talking about the party, now that school's over they all can no longer wait.

Everyone had their own thing to do. Liz and Vicky plan to buy a cake for Simon, even though Simon protests about them buying, Liz is very persistent and in the end Simon can't really stop her. Rob, Vina, and Rina plan to buy party decorations and they plan to go to Simon's house first to prepare and just simply wait for the others to come afterwards. Simon was hesitant at first because his father might be there but then again he remembered that his father didn't come last night and it's highly unlikely for him to return today. After much consideration Simon allowed the three of them to go ahead to his house first after buying the decorations.

After everything was settled they all went their separate ways and went to do their respective jobs. Liz and Vicky went to the bakery, while Rob, Vina, and Rina went to the nearest convenience store. Simon and Sebastian went to the grocery store.

While walking Simon and Sebastian were sightseeing around, it has been a long time since they've been in this part of the valley. Once they saw the old play ground they both smiled, those were happier times. They remembered Simon's mother watching over them as they play on the swing.

"She would've been so proud of you right now, and she'd be the most excited about your birthday out of all of us." Sebastian proclaims.

"Yeah I know she would. She would've been the first one to remind me that it's my birthday today."

As the two walk along they noticed a crowd of people standing around next to an apartment near the play ground. Simon immediately felt a sudden pain in his head. Sebastian notices this and asks Simon if everything was alright. Simon replies saying that everything is fine and that it was just a sudden headache. For some reason Simon felt anxious and afraid. He swallowed his fear and forced himself to go to the crowd.

He pushed his way through the crowd. As he reaches the source of all the commotion he saw the paramedics zipping up a body bag, in a split second Simon manages to take a quick glance. Simon was immediately filled with fear and disgust the face he saw was the same face of the woman from his nightmare, without a doubt, how can he forget such a horrifying scene, a scene so terrifying that it is forever etched into his mind. The only things that are different is the fact that the body will not rise again and that the weird flower that is supposed to be on her chest is nowhere to be seen.

Simon immediately ran to the nearest public restroom, he felt sick and thought of nothing but just vomiting. Sebastian quickly chased after him, once Simon found a restroom and quickly found an empty stall he immediately vomited in it. Sebastian looking confused asked Simon what was going on. Simon immediately replied that he was alright and that he was feeling a little sick because of what he saw.

After the entire ordeal Simon manages to convince Sebastian for them to just leave and go to the grocery store. As soon as they leave Simon witnesses the body bag being taken in the ambulance, in order to not risk him vomiting again he quickly walks away along with Sebastian. Sebastian is still very worried about Simon but he knows when Simon doesn't want to talk about anything he won't so he just went along with Simon in order for them to get home already.

Finally they made it to the grocery store.

"So you got the list?" Asked Sebastian.

"Yup it's in here in my bag hold on a sec."

As Simon picks out his list Sebastian was shocked to see how many ingredients they needed to buy. The list consists of olive oil, 3-4 onions, 2 large bell peppers, tomato sauce, 4-5 tomatoes, some Italian seasoning, garlic powder and that was just for the sauce. For the lasagna itself they needed lasagna noodles, ricotta cheese, mozzarella cheese, and Parmesan cheese. Basically different types of cheese.

" Do we even have the budget for these?" Sebastian's worried question.

"Yeah, I mean I have some of the other ingredients at home I only wrote those so that I wont forget what I need later."

Sebastian is in a state shock for this is the first time he has seen Simon so very competent. Simon understood that look and lightly jabs Sebastian's arm. It took some time but they managed to buy everything they needed. They immediately went to Simon's house to cook the food.

As soon as they arrived at the house they saw Rob blowing up balloons on the floor while Vina and Rina are putting up streamers on the walls, they promised that they'll clean it up afterwards. Simon started cooking the lasagna and Sebastian helped out with the balloons because Rob is clearly having a difficult time. When the lasagna was finished Liz and Vicky made it just in time along with the cake, written on the icing said "Happy 15th Birthday Simon from all your Friends!" Simon was touched, but this isn't an occasion for crying. They all dig in the food and had a wonderful evening. Vina is totally crushing it on karaoke and Rina is taking memorable pictures of everybody. Later on everyone else danced to the songs that Vina picked out except for Vicky and Sebastian who were to awkward and shy to dance in the first place. All in all that night was one of the best nights that everyone had, until someone came along. "What's all that noise!"

The voice came from outside the door, as soon as Simon opened it, it was his father still clearly drunk and with a beer in hand. "What's going on! Who are you kids?! What are you all doing in my house?!" He yelled. Everyone was silent for a moment, they knew that this is what Simon's father is like, until Liz suddenly spoke.

"We were celebrating Simon's birthday Mr.Cross."

"What? It's your birthday? Why didn't you tell me?" The confused question of Mr.Cross.

"Yeah its my birthday dad, I just thought you had more important stuff to do so I didn't bother."

"You could've at least told me!"

"It's okay dad its not a big deal."

"It is a big deal. I'm your father I need to be here at times like these!"

Something just suddenly snapped in Simon.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but when have you ever been here? You spend most of your time in the bar than here. Even when you are here your not here your either drunk or sleeping!" Simon yells.

"Hey! I work my ass off for this family so don't talk to me like that!"

"What family! We haven't been a family ever since mom died. I've moved on dad you clearly haven't!"

"That's it you can't talk to me like that while you're still under my roof!"

"Maybe I don't want to be under your roof anymore! There's nothing here for me anymore!" Simon proclaims.

Blinded by rage Simon's father punched him in the face so hard he fell to the floor and his cheek is swelling and his mouth is bleeding. Rob being the biggest one of them tried to hold Simon's father back but he just get shoved away by the massive man. Simon's father looks at him intently and says. "If that's what you want then fine leave." The burly man went up the stairs and to his bedroom. Simon's friends quickly went to him and helped him get back up.

"If you need a place to go you could stay at my place." Said Sebastian.

"Is that okay with you? Simon asks.

"Of course, you should pack now though."

"We'll go get your stuff and pack for you" Said Rob.

"You guys don't have to." Said Simon.

"Can you guys go get his stuff I'll patch him up." Said Liz.

Everyone nodded. Rob, Vina, Sebastian, Rina, and even Vicky went up to his room to get his stuff. Liz is looking under the cabinets to look for a first aid kit to use. She found one and immediately returns to Simon.

"Has he ever hit you like that before?" Liz's worried question while she cleans Simon's face and hold an ice bag to it.

"Couple of times, and in all of those times he was drunk." He says this in a joking manner.

"This isn't funny Simon, you got hurt. you can report him you know?"

"As much as I hate him he's still my dad. Whatever I said earlier it'll never change the fact that he's my family, the last one to be exact. Besides maybe a little space could do us good."

"I hope you know what you're dong."

Just as she finishes treating Simon's cheek the others came down stairs with two plastic bags and his regular school bag all packed and ready to go. Before they all left they took out garbage bags and cleaned out the living room. As they all walk outside they left the garbage bags out on the porch. As they further walked Simon took one last look at the house, it was a pretty out of placed house to be in an urban area to begin with, pieces of it has gone missing, its rich white and yellow color already faded and the windows are all boarded up, the roof is in serious need of cleaning and repair. Now Simon is expected to live in Sebastian's house, at least for now.

Simon and Sebastian went their way while the others went their own. They all said happy birthday to Simon even though it wasn't all happy in the end. Simon notices their faces clearly showing them being worried. Simon reassures them and tells them that everything will be alright, after that they all left and they all said good night to one another.

As they arrived at Sebastian's house the place was all dark and still a little stuffy. Nevertheless Simon proclaims that its alright for him to sleep on couch, Sebastian tried to change his mind offers him his bedroom, but knowing Simon he knew that he can't convince him. The time was 10:00 p.m. As Sebastian walks up the stairs to sleep Simon quickly dozes of due to him being way to tired and fatigued.

Walking on a garden of strange looking violet flowers. The sky was as red as blood, the clouds were moving at an impossible speed. Simon heard whispers all over the place, the whispers were coming from the distance while at other times it was near as if the person whispering was up next to his ear. Suddenly the clouds stopped moving and poured out rain, but it was no ordinary rain by the color of it and the smell it wasn't water that was falling on Simon it was blood. Simon looked up to the clouds raining blood, as soon as he looked back down he was immediately greeted by the corpse of the woman he saw earlier. The woman once again had no eyes and was crying out blood and smiling right at him. Out of disbelief Simon rubbed his eyes and once he opened his eyes once more the weather was normal again, Simon's clothes were no longer drenched in blood, nothing but odd looking violet flowers can be seen for miles, the whispers has also stopped. Then suddenly the woman was once again beside Simon and whispered right into his ears "Smell the pretty flowers." Out of shocked Simon quickly turned around and like before the woman was no where to be seen. As soon as Simon puts his guard down a bloody hand sprouted from the ground and grabbed Simon's leg and slowly pulls him down the ground. Desperate he tries to claw his way out grabbing on to anything he can get his hands on, and yet it is too late he was then completely submerged underground.

Once again Simon woke up in the middle of the night gasping for air and sweating. He then looks at the time on his phone and on it says that it is 12:00 a.m. Out of frustration Simon scratched his head and buried his head on the pillow and asks himself.

"What's going on? What's happening to me?"

[boymeetsweevil]

For Science 2/7

Grouping: Reader x Nerd!Jungkook

Word Count: ~8.6k lmao where is this going idek

Warnings/Themes: not much honestly just some good old fashioned heavy petting and dry humping :) because why not?

Summary: Jungkook asks you to let him watch you get off. For science.

part 1, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

The next time you see Jungkook is a few days later when classes have started back up for the week. You spent a good 20 minutes that morning staring up at your ceiling wondering if today would be the day that the consequences of your drunken voyeurism party would come back to haunt you. Jungkook isn’t necessarily someone that can’t keep secrets, but given that he’s a bit of a novice when it comes to sex, you’re not sure whether he’ll keep his mouth shut. And as appealing as cutting class would have been, you can’t risk your grades in your junior year and with applications for jobs looming over your head with one year left.

When you emerge from the food court holding your lunch tray, you head to the patch of grass on the quad that you and the guys like to frequent. From the short distance away, you can see that Tae has just sat down to join Hoseok. Jungkook is nowhere to be found and you’re secretly glad you don’t have to deal with him watching you walk over. You give them a nod as you sit down, careful not to spill your food or the precious brownie wrapped up in the corner well of the tray.

“How was Friday night,” Tae asks over a mouthful of tuna sandwich.

“It was fine, why do you ask.” Your voice remains level as you unwrap your sandwich, but you don’t make eye contact.

“What do you mean ‘why’? Jungkook can’t handle his liquor and always throws up if he has more than one beer. Did he even make it to your apartment? No one heard anything from either of you for the whole weekend.”

“Yeah, I was thinking about that after the uber left,” Hoseok nods sympathetically.

“Shut up,” you laugh, throwing a crumpled wad of plastic wrap at him. “You weren’t thinking about anything. You were knocked out like your BAC was .9.”

“At least I wasn’t…”

“At least you weren’t what? Because whatever you’re going to critique me for, I didn’t do.”

“Didn’t do what,” Jungkook asks as he approaches the area where you’re all seated on the grass.

“Didn’t do you,” Hoseok snorts.

Jungkook pauses with his chicken nugget in midair. “What exactly are we talking about?”

“You don’t remember asking her to deflower you so you’d be a better lay for Yoori? Man, you really are a lightweight. I don’t get it. You’re tall and muscly, it makes no sense.”

“You really don’t remember?” Tae leans over to look at Jungkook with concern.

“I remember what I remember,” is all he says before digging into his lunch without another word. Your relief is short lived because the topic switches only slightly when Taehyung asks about Yoori.

“When did you say she was coming back, again?”

Jungkook’s eyes crinkle with subdued excitement. “She said she was coming back in a month.”

“Well, you’d better start working on that v-card issue then.”

“I’m sure that I’ll come up with some sort of solution,” he shrugs and pushes up his glasses with his middle finger. “Can you go back in line and get me more chicken nuggets, Hoseok?”

“Why me?”

“You’re the only one who’s done eating.” When Hoseok refuses to budge, Jungkook brandishes his ID card like it’s a thick wad of cash. “You can buy whatever you want while you’re up there. On me.”

“Deal,” he snatches the card away before turning to Tae. “Come stand in line with me.”

You turn to watch the two of them go, snorting at how much they resemble tweedle dee and tweedle dum.

“You couldn’t stand in line yourself, hotshot?”

“I just wanted to talk with you privately,” he mumbles while playing with the grass.

“Oh. Is it about this weekend?”

“Yeah. I’ve been giving it some thought and honestly...”

Here comes the rejection, you think. But technically you weren’t even dating, much less together, so how could you be getting rejected? And it was his idea in the first place, so he definitely can’t reject you. The thoughts come at you all at once, inundating you until you’re staring above his head at nothing, trying not to shriek in frustration.

“Hello? Where are you right now, Mars?” Jungkook lays a hand on your shoulder, breaking your reverie.

“What?”

“Did you hear what I said?”

“Uh. No, sorry. What did you say?” You raise your shoulder so his hand slides off on its own, bracing yourself for his next words.

“I said I think we should make it a weekend thing instead of just one day a week.”

“Really? Why?”

“Think about the math for starters. We’d meet maybe four more times if Yoori’s actually coming back in a month. But that’s not nearly enough time to test for variables or come up with a formula. Much less master technique. And think of all the instruments I still don’t have a good familiarity with.”

“Jungkook--”

“I figure with weekends, we could triple the amount of raw time we have. And if we’re really being sticklers for detail, we could more than triple the amount of practice situations if we operate under the assumption that it will be mainly just you acting as the test subject.” His hands flutter as he talks until they land like birds in his hair and turn it into a deranged looking nest.

“Jungkook.”

“I read on Sunday that vaginal orgasms can occur in series and since most of the sessions will be focused on you, we don’t have to factor in the more singular penile orgasms or refractory periods and--”

“Are you really talking about your dick like it’s a limiting reagent right now?”

“Yes,” he stops his rambling to look at you through his lenses, the glass making his eyes appear even rounder and shinier. “Should I not do that?”

“You know what? It’s fine. Weekends are fine. Everything’s fine.”

“Are you sure? Your voice is starting to sound a little...hysterical.”

“No, it’s really fine. I’ll just stay over at your place this week after Fortnite.”

“Crap, I forgot about Fortnite. We were so close to being able to compete in the town tournament.”

“It’s fine, just move it to another day of the week.”

“But how will I explain that to Tae and Hoseok without raising suspicion?”

You gnaw on the corner of your lip until an idea comes to you. “Just tell them that my test scores went down a lot and you have to tutor me. Happens to Hoseok all the time.”

“But there’s no way your results would go down enough for you to need tutoring all weekend long for a month’s worth of weekends. You’re way too smart for that.”

“Y-you think so?” His words make your cheeks warm up and you smile up at him shyly.

His brow furrows. “Of course you’re smart. You know that.”

“Obviously I know, but I…didn’t know you thought that way too.”

“I’d be crazy not to,” he smiles softly at you.

“Here are your damn nuggets, you lazy baby.”

A tray piled high with nuggets and baked goods comes crashing down from Hoseok’s hands with a scary accuracy into Jungkook’s lap. Hoseok never ceases to amaze you with the speed at which he can ruin a nice mood. There’s no sense in mourning a one-sided moment, though, so you just scoop up a stray nugget and nibble. Hoseok sits down roughly onto the green with chocolate stains around his mouth, the cherry tart in his hand seems to be his next victim. Jungkook chokes on a lettuce leaf.

“Just how much did you troglodytes buy!?”

“Not that much,” Tae looks guilty as he peels the wrapper off a drumstick ice cream cone.

“Don’t act like you can’t just reload the missing funds,” Hoseok points a syrupy finger in Jungkook’s direction, “You have that programming money, asshole.”

You shake your head and gesture for Tae to grab what he can and leave them to it.

The most daunting thing about the whole arrangement is that during the rest of the week Jungkook manages to act like he’s hasn’t come over to your apartment to watch and help you get off for the sake of being better lover to Yoori. He’s completely nonchalant in the way that he sits next to you when you all get together to strategize for robotics competitions, his elbow brushing yours the entire time. When Hoseok uses Jungkook’s newfound virginity again to knock him down a peg during a study session where he keeps mock-grading Hoseok’s answers down, he doesn’t bat an eyelash. It’s not like Jungkook has suddenly become cool, though. He still eats like a 5-year-old weight lifter. And he still falls asleep on the floor of Tae’s room only to wake up with the shape of his glasses imprinted onto his face. He still looks across the room with lightning speed and holds out his hand like he did when you were kids because he wants you on his team when you guys stumble upon a spontaneous Super Smash Bros being hosted in Tae’s dorm lobby. Jungkook is still just as much himself as he was before you spread your legs for him and you can’t tell if that makes you happy or sad.

Friday rolls around and you spend 2 hours more than usual getting ready for Fortnite at Jungkook’s. The funny part is that you never ‘got ready’ before. But now you’re taking a 40 minute shower to shave basically every hair that grows below your eyelashes and using the previously unopened lotion your mother bought you from the Clinique store a birthday ago. You even put on a mud mask you bought on a whim once and sing a little song called ‘this isn’t a date’ the whole time it dries on your face. By the time you leave your apartment to head over, your whole body is moisturized, glowing, hairless, and fragrant. You empty out your backpack and fill it with the things you’ll need for the weekend so as not to raise suspicion with an overnight bag. Though it’s significantly lighter because its not filled with textbooks and toolkits, you still feel like you’re carrying a huge weight on your shoulders as you knock on Jungkook’s door.

Taehyung is the first to greet you because he’s the one who gets sent to open the door.

“Weird,” he blurts out. He quickly regrets saying anything when your mouth drops open.

“I look weird?”

“I don’t know,” he studies you as you both make your way to small set up of consoles in the middle of the dorm’s living area. “Guys, doesn’t she look weird?”

“Excuse me. I don’t want to do this right now. Nothing’s weird.”

“You do look weird,” Hoseok chimes in and puts down his controller to stalk forward. “But your hair is doing that same…shape it always does. And you’re not, like, wearing something nice for a change.”

All you can do is gape at their rude comments as they circle around you.

“Kook, come check this out. She look different to you?”

Jungkook approaches slowly and looks you over with the rest of them. When it was just Taehyung and Hoseok, you could at least make angry eye contact and flick them in the forehead when they got too close. But with Jungkook also looking at you, it feels like you’re glued by your feet to the floor, unable to move.

“You don’t really look all that different. You smell a little different, though.”

The other two sniff the air before letting out matching yells of agreement and crowding you further to guess the smell. You have to give Hoseok a purple nurple when his nose starts to tickle your neck but you’re too exhausted to shake Taehyung off and endure him linking arms with you as you walk to your seats to continue sniffing your hairline.

“What’d you do? Run out of that dollar store lotion you use,” Hoseok jokes as he tosses you a controller.

“Yes,” you deadpan just to get him off your back. Jungkook scoots his chair next to yours, getting into the normal team pairings. When he gets close enough, you lean over, sheepish, and ask, “Do I smell weird? Be honest.”

“No,” he pats your thigh reassuringly before redirecting his gaze at the TV. “You smell good.”

Although you’re relieved that no one really questioned your slight change in presentation, you can’t settle fully into the game night because you’re practically vibrating with excited nerves. You’ve stayed the night with hookups in the sense that you were too tired to leave directly after a one night stand so you crashed with them in their beds and snuck out at dawn. But this would be different. While it wasn’t a full-on sleepover with a main squeeze, it was still better than doing the walk of shame from a stranger’s apartment at 6 am. And it would be a weekend with Jungkook. After a few hours of trying to hide the childlike smile on your face and having your character nearly die every round, the gang calls it quits.

“Hey, what’s up with you,” Hoseok calls from across the room. “Why do you suck at playing tonight?”

“Just thought it might be interesting to play like you do for a change,” you snark. Taehyung and Jungkook both grimace for Hoseok, who opts for flipping you the bird instead.

“You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say this is just misplaced passion between us.”

“Good thing you know better.”

Thinking of Hoseok as anything other than an annoying friend has your skin crawling, but you do give him a pat on the back as a silent ‘good game’.

“Should we go out for ice cream? The night is still young. And you’re out of ice cream,” Taehyung calls from where is head is practically buried inside the freezer.

“Sorry, guys. I’m video calling with RealiCorp tomorrow at 8am about some software updates and I have to get to bed so I can be sharp.”

“You don’t have to come. We can get ice cream just the three of us,” Taehyung says as he slips on his shoes.

“I think I’m gonna have to take a rain check as well,” you perch yourself on the armrest of the couch facing the consoles. “I’m on a diet, so I think I’ll just go home.”

“And the reason you’re not getting up go now is?” Hoseok eyes how comfortable you look in your spot and raises an eyebrow.

“It’s dark outside and it’s not safe for me to walk back. I’m calling an uber.”

“Lame, but safety first, I guess.” He wraps an arm around Taehyung and pulls the door open. “You gonna treat your senior to a snow cone?”

You wait for their figures to disappear down the road before turning to look at Jungkook.

“You don’t really have a RealiCorp meeting.”

He grins. “How’d you know?”

“Easy. RealiCorp offices are in New York and 7pm their time is way too late for a minor business call.”

“You caught me. Are you really on a diet?”

“What do you think?” He snorts and raises his palms in surrender.

“I’m gonna go shower, but I’ll see you in a bit.”

You watch him retreat to the bathroom and suddenly you’re glad he’s gone because there is very little time before he watches you get off again.

Quickly you bring your bag to his bedroom and settle on his mattress and wait. To kill time, you look around the room. The superhero movie posters that cover a generous amount of the wall space and the wall length bookshelf that is covered with stacks of comic books depicting the same stories the movies do all scream ‘nerd’. So does the giant monitor with a large terminal blinking on it and pair of laptops on his desk. The laundry basket has three different shirts with Big Bang Theory quotes on them. You shake your head and recall the day you’d bought them for him off Etsy. You weren’t a fan of the show yourself but he loved to watch it for the jokes and to poke holes in the scientific jargon the characters would spew.

“You notice anything new,” he asks as he walks in, shutting the door behind him while he scrubs at his wet hair with a towel.

“No. Did you add something?”

“Yeah,” he says, pointing to the wall that holds the room’s sole window. There’s a large felt flag with the RealiCorp logo embroidered onto it.

“Oh. Nice flag.”

“Not that, that’s old.” He walks over and gestures a hand underneath the flag. Beneath the flag are a handful of photos off you, Taehyung, and Hoseok from over the years. You remember each of the specific moments in which they were taken.

“You’re not in any of them,” you murmur.

“I know. But I don’t need a picture of myself. I know what I looked like and what I was feeling. Having a photo of you guys is the main thing.”

The softness of his tone makes your heart ache. Jungkook is a sentimental genius, a rare breed. With every fiber of your being you wish that he could be yours. You’ve spent around a decade of your life loving him from afar despite the fact that you’re best friends. But you’re prepared to spend another decade doing it if that’s the way you can stay in each other’s lives. The sooner you commit to that fate, the less cloudy this weird thing you have going on will make your brain and the less it will hurt when it’s over and you watch Yoori get to have him.

“Oh, I have something for you.”

He retrieves a brown paper bag from under his desk and dumps the contents on the bed while you strip off your loose joggers. From the bag fall a giant tube of lubricant and a few sex toys. Your peer down at the trinkets with an amused expression while he putters around his room. When he sits down again, you finally take note of his outfit.

Junkgkook is in his mottled and self-distressed hoodie and threadbare sweats that his dad bought him from the school co-op when he got his acceptance letter 4 years ago. It’s an outfit you’re very familiar with because he often wears it whenever you all are dealing with messy things. Like oil changes, painting the exterior of fighter bots, or baking with Hoseok. Now that his hair isn’t soaking wet, he has his bangs pushed away from his face with a thin headband and sleek goggles replace his chunky black frames. You weren’t going to say anything but then you saw the small notebook and pen clutched in his grasp.

“Okay. What the hell is that outfit?”

“You act like you’ve never seen me in my researching clothes before.”

“I have, but you’re not dissecting a drone you found in a dumpster, you’re looking at my vagina.”

“Proper lab attire is an integral part of any successful experiment,” he waves an admonishing finger at you.

“You’re calling sweatpants with cheese stains on them ‘proper lab attire’?”

“This isn’t an efficient use of our time,” he huffs.

“Oh my god, okay fine.” The energy in the room is a little more chaotic than it was before but it provides you with the push needed to get your panties down and trapped around an ankle and you clambering into a half prone position. “Let the experimentation begin.”

Jungkook waits for you to part your knees before shuffling into his spot between your legs. He ducks his head to peer at your exposed folds before scribbling down some notes.

“What are you writing?”

“Nothing much. Just making note of the initial appearance so I can compare towards the end. Can I touch you? My hands are clean, I promise.”

“Uh, yeah, go ahead.”

Clearly he remembered more than he let on from that first night because he goes straight for your clit like you mentioned before. Slowly, he reaches a pointer finger out to poke. The sudden pressure, though light, has you jumping.

“Sorry,” he looks up at you from behind his frames, “I forgot how sensitive it is.”

“It’s okay,” you tell him as you focus your gaze on the ceiling. You’re trying hard to maintain a semblance of professionalism.

When his finger stops skimming, he’s a little too far south and you tell him so. He adjusts and manages to find it the second time around. He looks at your face carefully to gauge the reaction and is a little disappointed to see that you look bored. He tries circling his fingertip around the little nub, but the pressure is too light and almost ticklish. You snicker quietly and he gives up.

“This isn’t working. You don’t look like you’re having any fun,” he pouts.

“Kook, this isn’t about me. And this is supposed to be educational, not fun.”

“But its only educational for me if you’re having fun. What else can I do?

“What do you mean, you’re doing fine.”

“I did the finger thing and it didn’t do anything. All you did was laugh.”

“No one is laughing at you, though.”

“What about this,” he asks and you have to look back down to see what he’s talking about.

You realize he’s talking about the small bullet vibrator that lay amongst the things he brought in the brown paper bag. He holds it up to your face so you can get a better view of what it is. You look away, already very familiar with it because you have a blue version in the shoebox under your bed.

“Some people do use those to get off, that’s true.”

“Then let’s put this in. It has a USB in it. Will it collect data?”

“Slow your roll. That thing is more for direct clit stimulation than insertion. It’s the same thing I used on myself last time, remember?”

You watch him inspect it. He finds the power button and turns it onto its lowest setting. The low buzz fills the room and reminds you just what type of activities you’re engaging in. Without a warning he lays the vibrating toy where he thinks remembers your clit is. He’s right and the sudden vibrations have one of your legs kicking out involuntarily. You let out a yelp and try to scramble backwards, but the headboard keeps you in your spot.

“Fuck!”

Jungkook throws back his head and laughs. It’s the type of laugh he does where its strong and high and rolling. In most situations its infectious, but here you’re mad that he’s taking advantage of your natural reactions.

“Your leg did that last time too,” he giggles before quickly writing down your reaction. “This is fun.” 

He approaches you with the toy again, this time remembering to circle your clit like you had demonstrated before. You just barely keep a moan from escaping. This time your eyes roll into the back of your head at the feeling assaulting your clit.

“Wow,” he breathes.

Again, he hurries to jot everything down in quick script with his free hand. In the porn he’d watched, it seemed like all rubbing a woman’s clit would get you was a coy smile and a musical lilting moan. Your reaction was far more visceral than he had expected. The way your back arched upwards looked almost painful, but there was something graceful about the way your body just took over.

“Okay,” you say harshly. You can feel the pricks of sweat creeping along your hairline and spine. Your body thinks its getting sex soon, but its mistaken. “I think that’s enough learning for today.”

“Oh, come on. We only did one round,” he whines.

“Pfft. That wasn’t even one round. I didn’t cum.”

His nose scrunches in confusion as he jots that down. “You didn’t? Then what was all that flailing you did and the stuff with your face.”

“I’m just…responsive. That’s all.”

“Well, you can’t quit. We agreed to do this all weekend, remember?”

“I know,” you sigh, and cover your eyes with your hands, “Let’s…just move on, okay? What do you think the next step is?”

He frowns a little, the corners of his mouth turning down anxiously. He reaches for one of the toys he brought, a slightly larger than average size dildo, and clutches it in two hands before inching it towards your pelvis.

“No,” your hands come out quickly before he impales you. “Jungkook, think. What’s missing from this situation? Why might it be too early for that?”

“Hold on,” he asks picking up his pen and paper and pinning you with a quizzical look. “Say that again?”

“You can’t just jump to inserting foreign objects.”

He furrows his brows. You watch as his thinking face comes out: the cute scrunched nose, cute pursed lips, cute round eyes filled with confusion. After a few beats, he comes up with something, his fingers snapping with the small victory.

“If I were jerking off right now,” you fight to keep the image from surfacing in your head, “I would need to make sure the friction wouldn’t cause lacerations or inflammation. And I bought this.” He hands you the gaudy pink bottle of lube and you frown once you read the label. Upon further inspection, you can see that its actually just hand cream. Cherry scented.

“Partial credit,” you say, handing it back to him.

“What? Why?”

“Because it’s not real lube and I don’t want a yeast infection.”

“But this is the only one I got,” he pouts.

His dejected face makes you want to wrap him up in the duvet. There is a solution he’s not thinking of, and you suppose there’s no better time than the present for someone to learn about foreplay. The possible complications that could arise are present in the back of your mind, but you figure since you’re doing this all for Yoori, you should go big or go home.

“Jungkook, are you forgetting the vaginas are self-lubricating? That’s a rookie move, even for you.”

His bright smile returns. “How could I forget. But how do we jumpstart the lubrication process? What’s the catalyst?”

“Well, you have to be,” you search for an elegant word but can’t find one, “You have to be turned on.”

“Well, what do I have to do to turn you on?”

The question is innocent in and of itself. But the way that Jungkook tilts his head like an eager puppy, lip trapped between his even, white teeth, smelling like soap and safety makes your stomach do flip flops. He looks up at you, and ponders what it would take to get your folds to become sticky with arousal like they were last time. His hands fidget with the pen and notebook, clearly at a loss for ideas about what the next step is.

“I-it’s different for every person. But foreplay is generally the best way to work someone up.”

His pen moves at an impressive speed as he writes down your words. “Fourplay? Like the number four?”

“Not really, no. I mean if you adhere to, like, the four bases, then sure.”

“What bases?”

“You know what I mean. The bases. The four F’s.” When he merely blinks up at you, no recognition suddenly lighting up his eyes, you realize he’s way more inexperienced than you thought. “French, feel, finger, fuck? Never heard of them?”

“Nope,” he says.

“Okay. Um, it’s a baseball metaphor for sex. Or, more accurately, the events that can lead up to it and then sex. The first one, French, refers to french kissing.”

“What’s Feel stand for?”

“Feel as in feeling someone up or groping them. Finger is pretty straight forward, it stands for fingering but really could be anything you do with the hands. And I guess oral falls into that category too.”

“Fuck is the whole sex, right?”

“Yes, it’s…the whole sex. But maybe just call it sex from now on?”

“Right,” he says. “Which ones would you need in order to lubricate?”

Your cheeks heat. “They’re all pretty much fine for me. I mean the order is pretty appropriate.”

His expression slowly morphs into one of intense thought before it contorts again into nervousness. “I’ve only ever kissed someone once. In middle school. I don’t remember it, but I don’t think I was very good at it.”

“Well, we don’t have to if you’re—”

“No, no, I wanna do it. It’ll be good if we do this now, so I can spend the rest of the time improving. You can help me. I’m sure Yoori likes to kiss people as well,” he says resolutely.

You shake your head to dislodge the idea of Yoori sitting on a throne and watching the evening’s events play out.

“Okay. Maybe we should just focus on one at a time, then.”

“Yeah.”

He tries to shuffle up next to you with his notebook and pen, but you make him leave them by the foot of the bed, explaining that he likely won’t be able to take notes anyway. Once he’s sitting next to you by the pillows, he awkwardly turns to you, neck craned at an uncomfortable angle. You sigh. He’s really not doing anything to help build an ambiance and you have to do it all yourself. You start by reaching out to take off his lab goggles, trying not to laugh at the pink lines they left on his face.

“I can’t see,” he pipes up as soon as you become a blurry shape in front of him.

“You weren’t wearing your contacts under those?”

“I don’t wear contacts. They’re too much of a hassle. And the goggles have prescription in them. It’s easier that way.”

“It’s fine. Most people close their eyes for this anyway.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. It’s easier than trying to focus on someone’s face an inch in front of you. Plus, it feels nice so you just kind of…close them.”

He merely nods and you turn to face him fully. His eyes are squeezed shut and his shoulders are nearly brushing his ears with how tensely he’s holding them.

“Kook,” you whisper, “Why are you all hunched up?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I just got scared for a second. I don’t know.”

“It’s okay. There’s no need to worry.”

“How do these things normally begin?”

“Honestly? You just feel it coming when the mood is right. For now though, either one of us could just start.”

“Maybe I can start,” you’re surprised to hear him volunteering, “And you can take over if I get stuck.”

“Okay,” you whisper as he inches towards you.

You relax your jaw and let your eyes fall closed. Clearly he’s close or else you wouldn’t be able to smell his clean shower gel scent, but a few moments pass and he hasn’t done anything. You’re about to open your mouth to ask him if he’s alright when he finally swoops in and plants a swift peck on your lips before backing away. It was too fast to really be anything close to a kiss. More just a dry bump of lips. You open your eyes again to find him peering at your nervously.

“I got stuck,” he mumbles. Even though he’s a few months older than you, the small way he sits after having had his second kiss makes you feel powerful. Not superior, just capable of taking care of him and showing him ‘the ropes’, whatever they may be.

“That’s okay.” You reach a hand out to glide across his cheek and settle in the hair at the nape of his neck and guide him forward. “You’ll get the flow in no time.”

The kiss starts out dry once again, Jungkooks lips are still closed a bit tightly due to his clenched jaw. But some gentle strokes of the shell of his ear with your thumb help coax him into following the way your lips caress his as best he can. It is, admittedly, a bit awkward at first because his rhythm is off, and you can tell he’s frustrated when you open an eye to peek at him and spy his hands scraping at his knees. He tilts his head, nose brushing yours softly, and then suddenly things slot into place. He manages to sync up with you when he pivots a bit and traps your bottom lip. A little surprised breath leaves you as the kiss stops feeling so one-sided and he pushes forward, emboldened by your response. You let the kiss carry on for a while now that the locomotion seems stable enough to be self-sustained. It’s not until his hands bump against your knee for the third time that you pull back minutely.

“You know, in a situation like this,” you bring one of his hands to rest at the curve of your neck, “It’s okay to consider touching her too.”

He can only nod at you, eyes hooded and a little cross eyed as he tries to focus on your silhouette without his glasses, before licking his lips and edging back in. This time he takes the lead. It starts softly, but you definitely don’t mind. His hair feels like silk in between your fingers and the hand you lay on his ribcage doesn’t scare him off. In fact, he seems to want to even the playing field now that you have both your hands on him and moves his free hand to your waist. The weight of his hand feels heavy and hot, and the area of his grasp as his fingers splay out over you reminds you just how big they are. 

Jungkook, being as affectionate as he is, doesn’t need to be told he can wander and soon his hand starts to pet a path down your side and across the small of your back in a mindless, slightly oblong cycle. You can feel the butterflies you felt earlier in your belly getting replaced with a familiar pressure, a faithful precursor to the exact slickness between your thighs that started this heavy petting session. But you figure, there’s all weekend and you’re in no rush. If you had a little devil on your shoulder it would be telling you to draw things out, reminding you that learning is something that takes time, and Jungkook loves to learn more than anyone else you know.

Your pull away again slightly, opting for pressing small iterative kisses on his lips and he chases your mouth, not ready to stop. Pushing forward, you leave kisses like stepping stones until he gets the hint and allows you to guide him into lying propped up on his back.

“It’s easier like this. Easier than sitting up, I mean,” you mutter when you finally have him gazing up at you from the pillows. You lay a hand a few inches below his heart, feeling how it races as he lay under you. “It’s also easier for me too if I sit like this.”

“Right.”

He watches you intently as you swing a leg over so you can straddle him and sit yourself in his lap. As soon as do, his hands return to your waist and yours settle on his biceps. Neither of your keep your hands in your initial starting positions and soon your hands end up back in his hair again. A long while passes before you realize that you still haven’t quite reached the first F.

“Jungkook,” you breathe between kisses.

“Yes?”

“You know what French kissing is, right?”

“Y-yes.”

“Do you know how to do it? It might seem like a strange concept so if you want to skip—”

“No, I want to. I mean I want you to show me.”

“Okay.”

Keeping the mood is important, so you don’t jump into it right away. You’re very much aware that no one responds well to a tongue being shoved into their mouth. With that in mind, you kiss him like you did before, but sneak in a small swipe of the tip of your tongue against his bottom lip. He gasps and in the small moment of surprise, you probe a bit further. He gasps again when the muscle moves across his, but the movement is similar enough to how your lips molded against his earlier that it doesn’t take him too long to get the hang of it. When his tongue slides to edges of your teeth you can’t help but let out a tiny moan. Almost as if a switch was flipped, Jungkook’s arms come to wrap around you tightly, crashing you to his chest and he moves like he’s trying to devour you. At first, there’s a bit too much saliva, but with a well-placed hand on his jaw, you maneuver him into a pattern that’s a little less like a washing machine, but he gets too close-lipped. Another well-placed turn of his jaw puts him right on balance. It’s damn near perfect and, in truth, you’re certain that you could get off like this; with the slick sounds of your mouths working together and the sounds of his periodic gasps fill the room like a symphony underneath you. You dig your blunt nails into the muscle of his thigh and use all of your willpower not to beg him to let you pull down his pants and sink down on his length.

You plant a trail of kisses down his neck before pulling back, suffocating in your pullover. He blinks up slowly at you, about to ask if he overstepped his bounds, but then you grasp both his hands and bring them to where the hem of your baby tee ends. You’re about to take advantage of the whole ‘For Yoori’ situation, but you’re so desperate you don’t care that you’re being an ass.

“What is it?”

“Yoori might be the type of girl to want her boobs played with a little.” You reach behind yourself and under the shirt to unfasten the bra underneath. He squints and then his eyes grow wide as he watches you slide the bra off without ever lifting your shirt. “I mean, that always does the trick for me.”

With that, you lift his hands the last few inches until he’s cupping your breasts. He squeezes a little, tests the weight of them in each large hand. He’s fascinated at the way your nipples seem to appear from out of nowhere to push behind the fabric. He brushes his thumbs over the two peaks and smiles when you’re head drops forward and you scrabble to clutch at his shoulders.

“They’re soft,” his tone is dumbstruck and he squeezes again.

“Yeah, they are. Hey, if you pinch them, she might get really wet. Try--mmm--rolling them between your fingers.”

He heeds your suggestion and plays with your chest until you realize you’ve been grinding against his sweatpants covered leg, completely soaking the fabric with a growing dark spot.

“Looks like you’re ready,” he says softly, the wetness finally accumulating enough to be tangible. “Do we stop now?”

“Do you want to stop?”

He chews a bit on his lip and debates lying so he doesn’t seem needy before remembering it’s you he’s dealing with.

“No,” he finally says.

“We can keep going,” you pull him by his collar to help him sit up. “Are you comfortable like this?”

He nods before sitting up a little, dragging you with him as he moves. You settle back and then you’re pinning him with a look. Curiosity keeps you from immediately going back in to kiss him despite the fact that he just admitted to you that he wanted to continue. The air fills with challenge, the light experimental feeling replaced, and he senses it just like you do. He doesn’t try to steer things back to the way they were though, and instead he takes a moment to enter your space. His breath puffs against your cheek while he gathers his bearings.

“You said you can tell when the mood is the right one for a kiss.”

You hold your breath and think of what to say. Everything feels so fragile and you can practically see the way things are headed but you don’t want to break the tumultuous balance.

“Does right now seem like the right moment to you?”

“Yes.”

“Then do it.”

Jungkook is definitely a prodigy or something. Never in your life have you seen someone so good at picking up new skills as quickly as he does. This is something you’re familiar with and yet you still bury your hands in his shirt out of surprise when his own hand suddenly appears at the back of your neck to pull you in. He tilts his head and kisses you like he’s dehydrated and you’re a softly babbling stream. Each time his lips work over you, you feel as though he’s drinking, like he’s pulling something from you. Something you’ve been dying to have him accept from you for a long while. There’s something soft about the way his tongue slides over yours and it’s so tender and everything you want but its also not enough.

He’s solid underneath you and his skin feels almost feverish with how warm it is. There’s strength in the sinewy bundles that cord under your roaming touch and you want to see him put it to use on you so badly that it frustrates you and bleeds into your kiss. You forget where you are and nip at his lip harshly, though not enough to damage. You forget that you haven’t introduced Jungkook to the rougher parts of amorous activities until he tenses underneath you while letting out a low and guttural groan, hands clutching at your hips tightly and then releasing with a nervous flutter.

“Sorry,” he says shyly as his hands come to rest in the part of his lap that you’re not occupying.

“Why are you sorry? I’m the one that bit you.”

“I just meant sorry for…poking you” he can’t finish his sentence because his tongue is tied with embarrassment. You figure he’s talking about how he grabbed you when you bit him and brush it off. Then you feel him thick and hard, nudging your inner thigh.

“Oh. There’s no need to be sorry.”

“But this isn’t about me, this is about--”

“Jungkook,” you stop him with a light hand on his collarbone. “I know your main goal is to be able to please Yoori, but sex is a two-way street. You’re allowed to feel good too.”

“I—okay.” His shoulders are still rounded into himself in a way that makes it clear to you he’s still dwelling on his erection. On instinct you’re moving back in to plant soft kisses on his cheek. You know you’re blurring lines a little by doing so, but you want him to stop feeling so bad.

“Hey, it’s really not an issue. In fact,” you kiss your way to the plush corner of his pouting mouth, “We can really work with this. Let’s try something.”

“What are we going to—Oh!”

His breath leaves him in almost pained huff as you move to slot your dripping center over the bulge in his sweats. A moan sublimates between your mouths and you’re honestly not sure who it came from as you relish in the feel of the drag of the material against your clit. You press kisses to the line of his throat before sucking a bruise at the place where shoulder meets neck. The feeling of your tongue laving small cycles into his skin has his eyes fluttering shut.

After a certain age, Jungkook knew that despite having skipped a few grades, and never having an unweighted GPA of less than 4.46, there were things that  some of his peers were becoming aware of but would remain mysterious to him. A few petty classmates had also reminded him on a regular basis that he may only ever know the feeling of relief when it was supplied by his own lubed up right hand. It didn’t worry him much because he assumed that was the fate all those who devoted their lives to science until he watched his peers begin to date as well. Suddenly he was monitoring the freshman night lab by himself on Friday nights because his shift partner was going on dates.nQuickly after that, he was convinced that he’d never get to feel the warmth of another body under his palms. 

So as his hands move to stroke your up your sides to your ribs, over your breasts, and back down again while bucking up into your heat, he feels a swell of something towards you. It must be gratitude because you’re giving him a gift. The ability to feel and hold someone while they’re in the throes of an orgasm he produced. And because of this, he’ll be able to do it with Yoori, the girl of his dreams.

He opens his eyes to stare up at your face which is scrunched up in pleasure. It’s amazing, he notes, how easy it is to do all these new things with you. Even the initial fear of failure that he often gets with new subjects fades away in an instant when you put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

You’re warm above him and soft under his hands where he kneads at your chest. He flexes a thigh to give himself so leverage to hump up against you and you whine at the way he now presses firmly against your core. You bury your face in his neck and snap your hips forward. The abrupt onslaught of friction takes him by surprise and he’s coming in his pants after not ten minutes of dry humping with you in between his Thor sheets. The pleasure is so intense that his vision whites out as he cums and he throws all caution to wind as it rips through him. His arms wind around you and pull you closer, a whine leaving him as he slumps back into the pillows.

You fall back with him and let out a small ‘oof’. A quick glance at his sweat drenched and flushed face tells you he must have had a good time. Strong arms are still locked around your waist and the surprise of falling distracted you from chasing your own high, so you merely wriggle out of his grasp and sit back on your heels.

“Good?”

He gives you a wry smile that you usually only see when he’s been drinking. “Yeah.”

“Good,” you say as you hop of the bed and pull on your forgotten joggers before picking up your backpack.

“Wait! Where are you going?” His tone is open and clearly distressed. He fumbles for the prescription goggles that rest on the night table by the bed and shoves them onto his face roughly.

“To shower? My stuff is in my backpack.”

“Oh. Well…did you bring a sleeping bag?”

“No, but I brought a blanket and a pillow for the couch.”

“Don’t sleep on the couch,” you raise an incredulous brow and he backpedals. “We all spent 4 hours farting into that couch because no one wanted to pause the game.”

“Not me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” your face heats up. Whether or not you’re lying is none of his business and you’ll fart where you please without feeling shamed for it. “I’ll just sleep in here. I guess.”

Your time in the bathroom is stressful. Leaving his bedroom, you had a mean case of blue balls and you weren’t sure you could deal with them in his bathroom. It’s never something you imagined you’d have to do while you were at his place, though its not the first time you’ve spent the night or showered there. Game night can get long and you’ve spent many a night fighting Hoseok for hot water in Jungkook’s dorm. After some long and hard thinking about the long and hard thing in Jungkook’s pants, you decide he isn’t the only person who gets to do things for the first time and guide the detachable the shower head between your legs with a fist in your mouth to muffle your moans.

Jungkook is exactly where you left him when you return from the shower, but you can’t face him as you turn back the covers on your half of the bed.

“How was your shower?”

“It was a shower, it was fine.”

“Okay,” he says after a beat.

“I’ll try to be quiet when I leave for yoga. You can keep the light on if you’re not going to sleep right now.”

Up until you said that, Jungkook was tired, but he stays up until your breathing slows and deepens with sleep. It’s drastically different from the way your breath hitched loudly in the shower. He wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, he just wanted some water before bed. But there was something almost musical about the sounds of your choked off moans as you tried to be quiet in the bathroom. He’s proud to say that he didn’t linger once he realized what was going on. He went straight back to his room when his dick twitched in his pants.

Now that you’re asleep, he ventures out the clean himself up before returning. You’ve stolen his pillow to clutch over your face by the time he’s come back. Your pillow from home is still wedged safely under your head and he doesn’t want to wake you. He’s left with no other option than to rest his head on your stomach. If he doesn’t, he won’t sleep at all without a pillow and that’s no good. This is clearly the only solution. Clearly.

When you wake up the next morning 5 minutes before your alarm because you can’t breathe because there’s a giant weight on your chest. The weight is actually Jungkook and you’re not sure what to do. 

Apparently, you spend 5 minutes not sure what to do because your alarm starts, waking Jungkook with more confidence than you ever could. You watch with fascination as his eyes open slowly, and wriggling out from under you to wipe at the corners. He turns, resting his chin near your belly button and blinks sleepily at you, gears turning slowly before registering where he is and what he’s doing. You chance a small smile at him.

“Morning.”

“Good morning,” he says. His stare is intense and you wonder if maybe you look haggard or messy.

“What is it?”

He doesn’t respond and instead inches forward with a look of determination. When he’s an inch in front of your face you realize what he’s doing, but its too late to complain about morning breath or being late to Saturday morning yoga. 

It’s not long before he’s licking into your mouth slowly, giving you a chance to pull back, change the pace, tweak something. But there’s nothing to change. It doesn’t taste great but it feels amazing and your hands reach up to pull him down onto you without a thought. He groans and tentatively rubs his thumb over the swell of your breast that peeks through the side of your sleeveless sleep tank.

You miss yoga.

[metiredlr]

all questions from vines ask please?

Ask me - vine inspired

of course!!

Fresh avoc a do : what is your favorite take-out?

noodles

Merry crisis : what do you like the most during Christmas ?

mom’s birthday, the gifts AND the food

I never went to oovoo javer : uber, taxi, car, bus, train, walk, skate?

car o;

Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell : which school subject do you like the most?

literature!

Hi welcome to chilli’s : How do you relax?

sleep w/ or w/o music, play w my cat and dogs, watch random youtube videos etc 

Adam.. : Do you have a best-friend(s)? If yes what’s your favorite thing abt them?

yes!! She’s an awesome person who helped me a lot in the last 4~5 years. She has a heart of gold and i really like that 

Barbecue sauce on my titties : Last time your laughed hard?

last sunday lmfaoooo

I can’t swim : When is your birthday?

20th of February! 

Country boy i love you : Biggest shame?

can’t think of any right now

It’s gonna be me : Which song do you blast full volume lately?

In The Kitchen - Mree

I spilt lipstick in your valentino bag : Biggest prank to your mom?

idk but something scary adjsdajjdsaj

Hurricane doritella : Favorite junk food?

ice cream........ and almost any fried junkfood

I’m joHN CENA : Can you play any instruments or can you sing?

nope ;;

Look at all those chickens : Do you have any pets? What’s their names?

3 pets - 1 cat named Pipoca and 2 dogs named Billy and Russo

Chris is that a weed ? : Did you ever smoked?

nope and thank god for that

That’s my opinion : When was your latest fight? And what was the reason?

i don’t remember when the last fight was sorry ;;

Who want lasagna : what���s your favorite food?

i dont have a favorite sadjjasdjhasjsadj anything is fine

I won’t hesitate bitch : Do you hate someone?

nope! 

Can i get a waffle : What’s your favorite desserts?

ice cream.........

Where’s the lizard : What’s your favorite myth?

Iara.It’s a brazilian myth. She’s a mermaid that lives in the Amazon river 

B i c t h : What color do you really want to dye your hair?

blue ;)

Don’t tell mom : Are you planning on getting tattoos/ piercings? which ones?

not really ;;

Is that allowed : Tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid, what was its name? What does it look like?

bold of u to assume that i dont have all the stuffed animals from back then still asdjjasdjasjasd  

Marie is that the police : Do you drink alcohol?

nop

Okay : what’s something that made you smile today ?

talking w/ that one mutual :’)

What the fuck is up kyle : Which social media do you use more?

tumblr lmao jasdasdkjasj and the 2nd is whatsapp

Woeva threw dat paper ur moms a hoe : Are you close to your parents?

a lot

I’m washing me and my clothes : How would you describe your style?

random? i dont know. But sleepy thats for sure

Kumbaya my lord : What’s your opinion about socks ? do you like wearing weird socks ? Do you sleep with it?

they nice. I’d love to wear weird socks jsjsadjjasdjasd and nope

Bitch i hope tf you do : Are you the wine mom or vodka aunt?

im more of a coffee tired binch tbh

Stop i could’ve dropped my croissant : Are you easy to scare? If yes, when was the scariest moment?

not really, but im really afraid of the dark. I can’t stand it lol

I don’t get to sleep cause of y’all : Do you sleep on your back side or stomach?

on my stomach!

I love you bitch : When do you feel the most confident?

when im w friends or family while doing something

i’m a girafe : If you could be a mythical creature, which would you be?

harpie or mermaid~

Zac stop : Are/ were you good in school?

i was good! Except in math and w/ numbers ;; 

Try me bitch : Tell us something we don’t know about you

i have problems w/ gaining weight and actually im a few pounds below the average for my height ;;

It’s pikachu : Latest awkward moment?

having to stay w/ my parent’s friends kid bc im a bitch who doesnt know how to act around kids so uuuuhhhh i just feel awkward towards them??? im not mad at kids usually but not uwu uwu around them either,,,,, so,, me.exe stopped working

That was legitness : What’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

its a secret~~

When life gives you lemon : What do you study? /What is your job?

i’ve been studying by myself these days. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Caterpillar rave : Do you like to party?

not really

Hahaha i do that : How do you take your coffee/ tea?

as long as it has sugar ill take it anyway lol

Boi has his free tacos : Have you ever stole something?

nope

Shawty i don’t mind : What’s your favorite song?

rn is Alan Walker’s ‘‘All falls down’’

Patriciaaaa : Myer briggs type, zodiac sign and Hogwarts house ?

i dont remember exactly but guess that was INFP, pisces, and none

thanks for playing! have a nice day!

[bookworm-2692]

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose however many people you want to tag!

tagged by @lebannabell (first of three haha ty)

tagging: @productiveunicorn @zakounenharma @a-lostflower-inlove-with-eden @ruessterteeth @justicetom21 @autisticvaswani @starelin2 @kanavitas @ayretonothing @thelostspirit

LAST… [1] drink: water [2] phone call: my mum i think? [3] text message: "have loved them ever since” (talking about a eurovision song. belarus this year. i love them) [4] song you listened to: im listening to esc radio rn and its “your heart belongs to me” by hind (netherlands 2008) [5] time you cried: yesterday actually haha. i wouldnt normally have cried in that situation i was just overtired haha

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: nope [7] been cheated on: nope [8] kissed someone and regretted it: nope [9] lost someone special: nope [10] been depressed: i think i was at least mildly depressed a few years ago? only realised in hindsight tho [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] blue (since forever) [13] purple (since realising i was ace haha) [14] green ??? (for a while but idk)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: i think so? not close so more like aquaintences tho (i also cant spell at all) [16] fallen out of love: nah [17] laughed until you cried: a year is a long time so not that i remember but there is definitely a chance [18] found out someone was talking about you: i’d be very surprised if i was never talked about i talk about people all the time [19] met someone who changed you: dont think so [20] found out who your true friends are: no??? like im no longer friends w some people but we just drifted apart so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: i dont have facebook

GENERAL… [22] how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: a) i dont really have tumblr friends b) there are a bunch of real life friends on tumblr but so many stopped using it so i no longer know how many use it anymore so i cant answer this question [23] do you have any pets: no. i had three guinea pigs several years ago tho [24] do you want to change your name: nah i like it [25] what did you do for your last birthday: same thing i did the year before and am planning to do this year. just a big gathering w my friends and having lunch and talking and chilling and stuff [26] what time did you wake up: 6:30? 7? idk [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping [28] name something you cannot wait for: dnd on sunday w family [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: like an hour ago idk [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: id like to be more organised. and get my homework done on a reasonable timeframe sort of thing [31] what are you listening to right now: esc radio still, “todas as ruas do amor” by flor-de-lis (portugal 2009) [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: yep [33] something that is getting on your nerves: nah not really [35] elementary: what is this question asking? [36] high school: um??? im in high school? is that what youre asking? [37] college: im probs gonna go to uni next year [38] hair colour: brown [39] long or short hair: long for me haha [40] do you have a crush on someone: nah [41] what do you like about yourself?: im someone people have said theyre able to talk to w problems bc i dont ask for every last detail? also my maths ability haha. and playing netball if someones beating up someone on my team i go on them and then they dont beat me up. idk [42] piercings: nah [43] blood type: a positive! [44] nickname: not really any unfortunately [45] relationship status: single [46] zodiac sign: cancer [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show: probably eurovision haha i cant wait [49] tattoos: nope [50] right or left handed: right

FIRST… [51] surgery: um does setting a broken bone count? bc that was v shortly after my tenth birthday [52] piercing: dont have any [53] best friend: i dont really think ive ever had one. maybe ash? idkkkkkk [54] sport: i had swimming lessons from like the age of 2 or whatever, did tennis from prep????? [55] vacation: central australia when i was three months old (was dropped on my head on the second day and then my granddad died shortly after that so we had to come home for the funeral or something idk) [56] pair of trainers: um???? how do you remember brands of shoes from like over a decade ago

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothing [58] drinking: water [59] i’m about to: answer two more of these things haha [60] listening to: esc radio still, “wild child” by ace wilder (preselection sweden 2017) [61] waiting for: idk dinner i guess??? [62] want: my homework to be miraculously done [63] get married: im not getting married right now? what is this question asking? [64] career: i dont have a career im still at school

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs! i love hugging people [66] lips or eyes: eyes?? look pretty???? idk [67] shorter or taller: um i’d like to be taller???? i’d like other people to be shorter????? what is this question asking what am i choosing between? [68] older or younger: what is this question asking? what is better older or younger???? [69] romantic or spontaneous: i dont like romance but i dont know what context you mean for spontaneous? [70] nice arms or nice stomach: um????? do you mean on me or other people????? what defines a nice stomach or nice arms what? ah yes your digesting organ does its job well what i dont get it [71] sensitive or loud: what! is! this! question! [72] hook up or relationship: neither lol [73] troublemaker or hesitant: what is this asking i dont get it why cant people who make these original posts be more specific w their questions

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? no [75] drank hard liquor? no [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? no [77] turned someone down: no (unless they asked really vaguely and i didnt understand that would be funny haha) [78] sex on first date? no [79] broken someone’s heart? doubt it [80] had your own heart broken? nope [81] been arrested? no [82] cried when someone died? if a guinea pig counts as someone then yes otherwise no [83] fallen for a friend: no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? what do you mean? [85] miracles? no [86] love at first sight? no [87] santa claus? no [88] kiss on the first date? if the people dating want to then why not [89] angels? no

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: dont have any [91] eye colour: brown [92] favourite movie: idk dont think i have any

[eclectichippieca]

A Week in the Eclectic Hippie Household

On most Thursdays we have 3 kids under 3 during the day. It's busy and fun and ultimately a blast! But it has its challenges when it is really the only day we have at home in a week. A little look into a week in the Eclectic Hippie Household!

Monday's are fun!

I wake at 6am to make sure I have some alone time/husband time before kids start waking and getting to our house. My first Dayhome kiddo shows up before we are even awake. She is put back to bed by her mom in my step daughter's room each morning, or she spends the night if we had an event the evening before. 7am our house gets noisy. I wake up both girls and our second Dayhome kiddo arrives. Our little guy, F, is usually up around this time too.

We spend our morning getting ready for school and playgroup. 8am the Bigs are sent to school with my homeschooler, A, she walks the dogs and the kids to school. A gets home, dogs get kenneled and we grab our lunches and jump in the vehicle to head to playgroup. Playgroup is planning and time of its own as well, that time comes out of my quiet time usually. Home from playgroup by 1ish (sometimes closer to 3 if there was work to be done in the classroom.) We have lunch, homeschool, reading and spend time together, just me and my kids (sometimes we have extra toddler who don't go to school on these days too.)

Just before 3pm A leaves for the school to pick up the 4-5 kiddos who come after school. Monday's are “Chill Day” as decided by me and the kids in September. We have snack, watch tv or play video games. Toys, puzzles and games are always an option.

Most of the Dayhome kids are gone home by 430-5pm. Our friends come over for Friends’ Dinner. Usually 5-830 or 9. Kids go to bed. Hubby and I have some couple's time at this point. Usually in bed sleeping by 10 or 11

Tuesdays are school focused.

Tuesdays are similar to Monday's to start, the kids are the same, the schedule is similar only I get up at 630 and don't have playgroup prep.

A walks the kids and dogs, she gets home and we start school work. Math, reading, baking, science experiments, crafts and art, etc. Whatever we had planned for the morning. Piano practice. Snacks…. All of the snacks! F plays with flash cards, matching etc. He is learning french when we work with those flashcards for A.

Piano lessons are at 1pm. We drive 20kmseach way for lessons. When we get home around 2 we spend some time just chilling or reading.

A goes back to the school for 3pm. Library day, the big kids who can read go and enjoy half an hour of reading and a treat, while the Non-reading Bigs come home with me. No screen afternoons. Lego, outside, puzzles, games, crafts etc. 4:30-5pm everyone goes home.

Family night. Some school, some reading, sometimes a movie, lots of playing, cooking meals together etc.

Tuesdays are mine and the hubby's gaming night together. We pretty much exclusively play Destiny 2. Him and our clan help me rush through the weekly needed things to help me keep up with our group. This is when new things are released as well. We always run new content storyline stuff together. Its neat to have someone who is willing to help you through even though you can't do it as much as everyone else. I definitely never feel left out when we game on Tuesdays! In bed by 11 at the latest.

Wednesdays are straight up wacky!

Mornings go the same as Monday only we don't leave the house until 8:30am.

Home from playgroup around Noon. Lunch, piano practice, school work, of course some cuddles. A heads to the school just before 3. Except on 2 Wednesdays a month when we go to the Hall at 2:30pm to set up for a Gym Program that we volunteer for. She goes to bring the kids to the Hall at 3. Wednesday is a Video game day if we are home.

On Gym Program day, we spend from 2:30pm until 5:30pm playing, running and having a blast with friends. Also full set up and clean up.

5:45 we are in the vehicle heading to Lacombe for youth group. It starts at 6:15pm until 8pm. I go out with a friend or a few friends once a month for Mommies’ Night Out, which I organize, during this time so that I have some time out of the house alone. Daddy stays home with LO. At 5:45 while leaving town we pick up 3 extra kiddos, one of which who spends the night every Wednesday unless there is a holiday.

8:45pm we are done drop offs and home and getting ready for bed. Wednesday nights are hubby's gaming night. I usually take the time after the kids go to bed to do some crafts or I will game if I feel like it. Wednesdays are about kids and self care. We go to bed around 11pm. Most Wednesdays I'm in bed before then.

Thursday are full of toddlers!

Like Tuesdays, we have a bit of a slower start. Once the bigs are off to school and my little lady is home from her walk we have about half an hour before the house fills with toddlers, sometimes 4 plus LO. Little lady starts school work right away on these days, she can get more concentration time that way. Then it starts! A day of her helping me with the littles; we do the cooking, she helps with chores and bum changes, and playing etc. She bakes with my instruction, we cook lunch, play with babies, read to them, she loves to imagines with them (one of my favorite things about her!). We keep busy! But we don't leave home all day other than school pickup trips! We have so much fun and find our most learning in these days.

Movies and treats are common during nap time on Thursdays. 3pm A gets the kids and most Thursdays go to Craft Time at the library. They get home around 4 to have snack and play for a bit. Another no video game day. Everyone goes home 4:30-5pm. Youth group number two is on Thursday nights at 630pm. This one is in our village. This is when LO gets an evening of one on one with both parents. We pick her up at 8pm, we read, get ready for bed and it's bedtime at 9. Hubby and I spend time together, usually in bed by 10 to be well rested going into the weekend.

Fun, Funky Fridays!

The school in our village has Proffessional Development days almost every other week. So on PD days, we have all of the Bigs at our house. If we have enough seats for us to travel, we all go to a Homeschool Gathering where kids of all age play games, do STEM and STEAM activities, group activities and so much more, from 1-3 in the same town as piano lessons. PD days vary in what we do to fill our time. Sometimes the kids had a busy week and just need a rest day, other Fridays we need to be going non-stop to keep everyone busy.

On school days, mornings are like Tuesday and Thursdays, not too busy, slower starting. This day we do meal planning, grocery lists, house cleaning, playgroup planning, linen washing, general household catch up and so much more. School work is a priority on school day Fridays. A will generally do 2 math lessons, and LOTS of reading and writing, on top of everything else we do.

After school A picks up the kids and we either all go to Free movie Friday (once a month) or home to enjoy some gaming or tv time. We generally have popcorn and a special treat in these days.

Dayhome ends 4:30-5pm. 6pm we jump in the vehicle to go get T and K 3 out of 4 weekends a month. They are my bonus babies, Hubby's kidlets. Home for just before 7, eat quickly and bring T to youth group. F goes to bed, Hubby games, I spend girl time with the girls, K and A. If the girls want to play alone I let them, I will then game with Hubby. 10pm one of us goes to grab T from youth group. Bedtime for the kids after a late night snack. On Fridays we don't have T and K we typically have at least one other child who comes to spend time with A, or A will go somewhere for the night or weekend (that's rare though, probably once in every 3-4 months.)

Weekends are for family.

With a week like the one we have, when we get the time to be just a family it feels so good and so right. We all crave to be together, so our weekends are now our family time. This time used to be filled with appts, events, friends, family, camping, etc. But since having another little in the house and life has been getting busier and busier with these new ages of the big kids, we now take this time to be grounded at home. We don't shop over the weekend, we wait till drop off on Sunday, or sometimes we will go in 15 minutes early on Friday to grab a few things we missed for the weekend. We don't leave the house unless we have to. We no longer go out for dinner, we don't go to friends houses unless there is an event we have been invited too. Not because we don't want too, but simply because our life in simpler this way. We are so busy all the time with the things WE feel are important to our family, that we have to limit the things we don't hold at the top of the list of priorities.

Weekends can still be busy in their own ways that get us out of the house, traveling to see grandparents, birthday parties, friend invites, church gatherings, local events, but these things we keep to a minimum. If friends can come to us we will always have an open door. But with 4 kids, 13, 10, 9 and 2.5 it's hard to be anywhere that suits all of their needs. Home is just best for us right now! There are not many of these years left. “The days are long but the years are short” I read it in memes all the time, but it's true. It's profound and it's real.

So this is what our general weeks look like. We are busy and on the go all the time. But we are putting family at the center as much as we can in this crazy life! I'm so incredibly blessed to be able to do all of these things and have my children be as happy as they are with the busy, chaotic life we lead in the Eclectic Hippie Household.

Peace and love!

God bless!

Eclectic Hippie

[derivatived]

stalkers that never go away

i think its safe to say that we have all had people in our lives that just DONT go away. you have told them or have done things to make them understand that they need to leave you alone. these experiences can happen with literally anyone- strangers, friends, parents, or anybody that crosses your path. most of the time these stalkers, for lack of a better word, just fade away. they get bored, find someone new, or you find a way to avoid them. i wish that was my case.

i have dealt with ending friendships or just growing apart from someone but i did not deal with ending a friendship and having that person turn into a literal stalker until 1.5-2 years ago. this stalking and harassment continues indirectly to this day. let me start from the beginning if youre still interested.

i had become friends with this girl my senior year of high school. our friendship hit off very quickly and obviously we had a great time together, through texts, snapchat, whatever. we went to different universities for two years and maintained this best friendhood throughout those years. we both were unhappy with our schools and our majors so we both decided to transfer to a new school together and become roommates as well as best friends. keep in mind, we told each other everything. we trusted each other.

when we finally moved in together to start our third year of college, i realized that things would be different. i had not realized one of the biggest reasons my friend had chose this school was more so for a guy she had been seeing casually. several months before we moved in, they became official. of course i was happy for her because she was happy. but trust me, this dude was and is a total douche. this guy had also went to our high school and was in our friend group, which is how the two met and rekindled. this guy also took women’s virginities and hung the bloody sheets on his wall and bragged about it, NOT KIDDING. if that isn’t an indicator of poor character, i don’t know what is. but that was several years ago and my friend was happy, so fuck it, whatever.

as we started living together, i realized my best friend became more interested in hanging out with her new boyfriend and his friends. i constantly felt annoyed when we all hung out because she wasnt being herself, she was being someone completely different than the friend i had for years. it was like she needed these stranger’s approval to make her boyfriend happy. if i made an inappropriate joke, which i’m known for, everyone would laugh but my “best friend” would scold me in front of everyone. over a few months, i got really bored with these people. her boyfriend and all of their friends just constantly disrespected women, including me and my friend, but she and everyone else just laughed along with it. i honestly did not appreciate the personalities of my friends boyfriend or his friends and it was lame.

aside from her new lame ass friend group, i was also dealing with my own issues. i had went through a breakup with someone i met online. when i confided in my roommate/friend, she basically shrugged me off. i mean, i was really upset about the whole thing. it took me months to get over that shit. but she shrugged me off and honestly treated me rudely because i was upset about it. it is important to remember, that even though i was annoyed with her and her choice of friends, i still confided her with this secret basically. my online relationship wasnt something i shouted from rooftops and is something i am still embarrassed of 3 years later.

but anyway, our friendship slowly faded. she was more interested in getting drunk with her boyfriend and his friends. i kind of grew out of that stage and i truly did not like the people she was hanging out with. 4 months into living with each other, winter break came and we both went home for a month. keep in mind, we had the same friend group from home. when i got home, i started making plans with everyone that was home. occasionally i invited my roommate but she said no every time except once because she was working. i stopped asking and figured since we know the same people, she can make plans when shes available. i saw her once that month. the texts and snaps we used to have also faded btw.

when we got back to school, she made it a point not to invite me anywhere with her boyfriend or their friends. when i brought it up to her she was just like yeah im not inviting you because you didnt invite me to anything over break. i was seriously like in shock. we had the same friends, she denied me so many times, and she was making this point to not invite me anywhere because of it? but i was just like alright i didnt know you felt that way. we basically dealt with the problem and moved on. but nothing changed and i would say this is where the harassment/stalking began. we eventually stopped talking sometime around march. i had also gotten a boyfriend from a different school and went to visit him a lot. but i stopped saying hi to her and i stopped initiating any contact just to see what would happen. the funny thing was that we didnt speak to each other until may because i stopped starting conversations and putting in effort. imagine not talking to your roommate for 2 months? well, the story gets worse.

but ya know, whatever. i give people chances. i knew we were both taking physics over the summer at our school so i started talking to her again. i also still wanted to be her friend, i did not decide not to be until many months later. anyway, we were both biology majors taking physics. this was a 5 week summer course that went at an advanced rate but the professor was cool and made it super easy- the homework problems were the exam. unfortunately, my friend/roommate dropped the course after the first week. she did super bad on the first exam. i tried to tutor her and i did everything i could as a friend to insist she not drop the course. i was pretty surprised by what happened next. she was just really accusatory towards me (i did very well on the exam bc i studied and love math). she claimed she couldnt take classes with me (we took one before and i did better than her) etc. but if you want the truth, she didnt study for the exam and got drunk at a bar with her boyfriend the night before, thats why she didnt do well. but i digress. she dropped the course and a week later she told me she was changing her major.

now the major change is another thing entirely. this pissed me off to no end because it was like i knew her so well. i knew she wanted a degree in biology.. she switched to pre-pa. and i tried to convince her not to but she kept insisting she could be pre-pa and still go into genetic counseling or a genetics career later (which is what she had always said she wanted to do). but basically she changed her major to pre-pa and i butted out. i am not dissing pre-pa majors. i think thats a good major.. if you want to become a pa.. but she didnt.. so it was a huge mistake.

anyway, summer ends and we actually have a new roommate moving into our apartment for the next two semesters. we had both agreed to this a year ago, ya know, when we were still friends. the guy that moved in was her boyfriends best friend. yeah. so again, this dude was a total douche as well. sexist, jokes about rape, sexual harassment, bla bla. just a complete idiot like her boyfriend. but whatever, I GIVE EVERYONE CHANCES.

he moves in and it was alright at first. but i noticed my best friend just like wanted nothing to do with me anymore, she was literally up this guys ass all fucking day now. she never had time to chill with me during the day but suddenly she has time for this dude. and this goes back to earlier when i said about her being a different person around her boyfriends friends. she just wanted to fit in so badly and have friends. me and her had also gotten into huge argument before he moved in. she had kind of ditched me on my 21st birthday and lied about it. she said she had an exam for a summer class, then ordered a pizza to our house, and left with it to go to her boyfriends place. whatever. we sorted it out kind of but i was really distant.

so at the end of september we got into another huge argument which was honestly it for me. in early september, my roommates had some people over and let someone sleep in my bed. i am still unsure of what happened or who did it, but when i came back from my boyfriends after that weekend, there was blood on my sheets and brand new white comforter. i asked them if someone was in my bed just because i was so confused and they both lied. i didnt tell them about the blood because i honestly was just afraid to know what happened in my room. i washed my sheets and shit then put two locks on both my doors. i had a backdoor that led onto the porch where mail was delivered. but ya know, if youre gonna leave blood stains on peoples shit, ya cant invite yourself into their room anymore. so the locks were on, i left the next weekend. i got a text sometime saturday from my roommate that was like “if you put locks on the doors you need to give a key to both of us” and i was like nah i dont really want people in my room. basically we went back and forth through text and her argument was that my room cant be locked bc its easy access to the porch for mail or just to hangout (no one hung out on that porch ever btw). but i was just like nah walk around. i got back sunday and locks on my doors were removed. there was damage to the windows and doors from them breaking in. 

keep in mind, i had been very nice to this girl considering all of the dumb shit shes said and done to me so far (some of those things are little details i left out but she was basically an asshole to me). unfortunately, i have a temper and when i get pissed off enough, someone is being told. i was so pissed off that she broke in with our other roommate and did something she had no right or reason to do?? why do you need access to my bedroom so badly?? i didnt really care. i went into her room and was like hey, did you go into my room this weekend? and she looked fake confused and said no. and i was like alright well all of the locks are undone and i can see you were in there so why? and she was like no one was in your room but we are allowed to have access to the porch. and i was like no you were in my room, walk around if you want on the porch you never use. and she was like well i had medicine delivered on the porch- AND basically this is when i stopped listening. i remember this conversation because i actually recorded it and made fun of her later with my friends because she tripped and stuttered on her own lies. the argument ended with me lecturing and belittling her for acting like a little kid. we didnt speak after that for a week and a half and she didnt go into my room as far as i know. 

so a week and a half later, the internet bill in my name was due. neither of my roommates paid me on time. they paid in venmo the day it was due or the day after. it honestly started to piss me off bc i was sick of having to ask for it, pay for it myself, and wait for their money to get into my bank account. i put a note on the fridge that was like “pls pay internet or dont use :)”. this was totally passive aggressive and bitchy but c’mon. it was 16 fucking dollars. just pay it on time. i was in lab for  class when i got a bitchy text from my roommate. i honestly dont remember details but it was something “dont act like i dont pay you, no one is trying to scam you, if you dont trust us then address it bla bla” bitch.. you dont pay me on time.. and i did address the issue of you breaking into my room, and i just wrote a note for you to pay the fucking bill you owe? like just pay the money and shut the fuck up? but ya know, i had enough of that shit. i responded to her and told her to pay the bill or dont use it, dont text me again or contact me anymore, i dont want to talk to you or deal with your immature bullshit. blocked. i blocked her number and on all social media. i was done. and if you remember my temper, i wanted to go home and rip into her dumbass. but i didnt.

so that was it. that was the last time i spoke to this girl that was once my best friend. but, we had a lease that wouldnt end until may so i had to stay there. and trust me, i tried to get out of my lease. but the story doesn’t end there.so the guy we lived with, i kept on ok terms with for awhile. i said hi when i saw him and he would always ask me how i was, what i was doing, etc (this is important). and you know, i would be friendly bc i didnt really care about this dude. he was just there to pay rent. one day he announced in the kitchen he was going on a run. he left, and then i heard a buzzing. he left his phone unlocked on the table with our other roommate’s (my ex bff) chat open. i glanced and noticed my name in the text and my heart stopped. i know i shouldnt have done what im about to tell you. it was a total invasion of privacy and it really hurt me to read.

i read their entire conversation as far back as the texts would go. the whole way back to august when he first moved in. EVERY SINGLE TEXT BETWEEN THE TWO WAS ABOUT ME. i cannot emphasize this enough. every single message between these two people from september to october was bitching about me, making fun of my past, making fun of me eating fucking chick fil a once per week, calling my boyfriend a nigger, calling me names, watching what i do and texting each other about it, breaking into my room more to check if i packed my bag to stay at my boyfriends, going through my shit, so much fucking shit it was so fucking crazy. i went through the texts fast and put the phone back. i honestly dont know if it was left there on purpose or not. i never talked to the guy roommate again. when he said hi i said nothing and eventually he stopped. after i read those messages i felt so many things.

i was so fucking pissed that they were talking about me like that. my ex best friend was telling my personal stories about the online dating, she even wished i killed myself. and this dude i barely knew was just going along with it and joining in. it was seriously fucking sick. it was full on stalker. both of them watched everything i fucking did. they went through my things and checked shit not even i would think mattered. it was insane. i was pissed and i honestly felt so violated and unsafe. i felt so helpless too. i couldnt tell them to stop. they wouldnt. i couldnt call the police. it was so indirect and was just texts on someones phone. i felt so horrible i didnt sleep for 2 days. 

there was no more confrontation. the indirect harassment continued into may. i moved out and thought it was over but it wasnt. we went to a relatively small school and a friend told me about this girl in her summer class and asked me if i knew her. when she told me the name of this girl my heart dropped again and instantly i said WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THIS. and she was just like oh shit.. i could have sworn i heard her say your name to this guy in our class and she was telling him about reporting you to the police. i seriously felt sick. i retraced in my mind quickly for anything she could be going to the police about me for? i literally hadnt talked to the girl or done a thing to her since october, thats the honest truth. and i was just like about what?? i was so eager for this girl to tell me the details it was killing me. basically she told this long story about how the girl has been coming to class every day and talking about her ex roommate. appartently this ex roommate stole her debit card and credit cards and was stealing thousands of dollars from her. on top of that, this ex roommate also sexually harassed her several times. the ex roommate was supposedly me. 

i almost laughed when my friend told me this shit. i felt so much relief because these were just stories my ex friend/roommate were making up for attention. but after a few days of thinking i was like fuck thats kind of psychotic. like thats borderline crazy to be telling people openly that someone sexually harassed you and stole your money when both of those stories are made up... like dude. i did nothing to you but ask for bill money lmao. 

i ran out of time but ill continue this shit later. if u read this fucking novel, congrats