#my bestie has said this like six times today

[ma-lark-ey]

Alex: FUCK the monarchy

Henry: PLEASE. PLEASE DO. PLEASE. 😩😩😩

[wintfleur]

₊˚ෆ the start to a chaotic summer !

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( this ideas suddenly just came to me , I’ve been having sm fun working on smau posts since I’ve been having a hard time writing lately , I hope you guys enjoy it !! . . pls don’t mind the few mentions of the challengers I’m obsessed with that movie rn )

𐙚 summary ( a few posts showing what Stella has been up to as of lately now that her summer has started ! )

au masterlist - you can find everything under #👩🏻‍🎨 ͡ ꒱ Stella Hughes!

stellahughes added to their story !

[caption: smiling at me like that as if he didn’t just take my ability to walk ]

jackhughes replied to your story ‘ESTELLA WTF’

jackhughes reacted with 🤮

_quinnhughes replied to your story ‘some things you just gotta keep to yourself stink 😐’

lhughes_06 replied to your story ‘Stella please stop this I’m disgusted, and it’s not even 1pm’

lhughes_06 reacted with 🍅

luca.fantilli reacted with 🤤

ahndaesee replied to your story ‘Princess the wording umm 🧐 ’

stellahughes OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAYDBDJ

markestapa replied to your story ‘in public?? Pookie I was unfamiliar with your game 😮‍💨’

stellahughes MARK PLS YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT YOU WERE LITERALLY THERE ???

_alexturcotte replied to your story ‘have some decorum hughes goodness’

rutgermcgroarty replied to your story ‘babe I don’t think you worded this the best…’

stellahughes oh really ?? I couldn’t tell 😲

Lilybaileys replied to your story ‘STELLA YOU FREAKY GAL 🤭’

carmenbarlowe replied to your story ‘bestie I can’t keep defending you 😶’

ryan.leno_4 replied to your story ‘IVE BEEN A NASTY GIRL NASTY. IS SOMEBODY GONNA MATCH MY FREAK ??? 😌’

stellahughes RYAN PLEASE 😭

nicolassturniolo replied to your story GIRL 😭

stellahughes I meant from the workout we did 😭 the gym workout 😭 you know with weights and treadmills 😭

edwards.73 replied with ‘😟’

stellahughes i didn’t mean it like that 😣

pshoon2002 replied to your story ‘count your days mcgroarty. count your fucking days 😑’

stellahughes

liked by bboeser, arberxhekaj_, simjaeyunn and others

🎵 HOT TO GO! - Chappell Roan

stellahughes: it’s training season, let’s get back to winning 😽

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username she’s coming back for her crown!!!

username please she never lost it.

username the ice princess is back!!!!

username ESTELLA HUGHES WOMANS WORLD FIGURE SKATING CHAMPION TWO YEARS IN A ROW !!

username NO SILVER OLYMPIC MEDALIST ESTELLA HUGHES ‼️

username pls I can’t wait for the edits

username i’m still not over the breakin dishes one 🤭

markestapa training stella is scary

edwards.73 and mean

stellahughes I’m not mean I’m just determined 😐 @/edwards.73

rutgermcgroarty it’s sexy dw baby 😮‍💨 @/stellahughes

stellahughes oh is it? 🤭 @/rutgermcgroarty

markestapa you guys disgust me.

nicohischier I will be cheering you on Estella!!

stellahughes you want me so bad omg 🤭

jackhughes omfg stella go away @/stellahughes

stellahughes NO YOU GO AWAY YOU JEALOUS BITCH HE WAS TALKING TO ME @/jackhughes

nicohischier guys please calm down.

stellahughes yes sir 😌

amberglenniceskater let’s go Stella!!!

stellahughes AMBERRR ML 🫶🏻

isabeau.levito USA USA USA ‼️

stellahughes THEY ARE NOT READY FOR US 🤭

_willsmith2 STELLAAA ‼️

stellahughes WILLL ‼️

_quinnhughes i definitely have the coolest sister

stellahughes nooo I have the coolest brother 🫶🏻

jackhughes brothers !! PLURAL you have the coolest BROTHERS @/stellahughes

stellahughes I know what I said @/jackhughes

rutgermcgroarty pretty girl 😍

rutgermcgroarty blessing my feed fr 😍 god slide six 😮‍💨

rutgermcgroarty have I told you I love you today??

rutgermcgroarty I LOVE YOU 🩷

rutgermcgroarty sometimes it still blows my mind how lucky I am 😻 like me ?? Dating an Olympic silver medalist. Fuck I’m so lucky I love love love you 🩷

stellahughes babe 😭 please come over so we can make out.

username pls can the 2026 Winter Olympics come any sooner 😭

username pls shes so aesthetically pleasing 🤭

username AHHH YAY THE ICONIC STELLA SUMMER PHOTO DUMPS ARE BACK ‼️

simjaeyunn you already won the number one spot in my heart 😻

rutgermcgroarty IM SORRY???

pshoon2002 Jake I beg you put the phone down.

ahndaesee chat he’s getting bold 😭😭

stellahughes oh! Thanks Jake? 🫶🏻

ahndaesee bless your oblivious sweet soul @/stellahughes

notriki MOTHER IS MOTHERING 😌

stellahughes my child 🫶🏻

rutgermcgroarty since when did we have a child 🧍‍♂️@/stellahughes

stellahughes surprise 🥳 @/rutgermcgroarty

notriki hi dad! @/rutgermcgroarty

lhughes_06 I still haven’t recovered from that god awful green drink

stellahughes it’s not for the week lukey

lhughes_06 calling me lukey and then basically saying I’m week, in the same sentence is crazyyy 👎🏻

ahndaesee my superstar 🫶🏻

stellaughes my pretty dahee 🫶🏻

ryan.leno_4 my body still hasn’t recovered since you took us to that pilates class

stellahughes we have to go again so your body can get used to it!

gabeperreault44 NO NO NO ❌

_willsmith2 please no.

umichhockey our Olympic silver medalist 🫶🏻

stellahughes I love you admin 🫶🏻

christophersturniolo so when are you teaching me??

stellahughes when are you coming to visit hmm?

nicolassturniolo *US you mean

matthew.sturniolo YouTube vid idea ???

stellahughes I’m not going to go easy on you guys 😼

christophersturniolo LETS GOOOO

_connorbedard good luck Stella 🔥

stellahughes thank you con !! 🫶🏻

masonmctavish23 let’s go Stella !! 🔥

_quinnhughes lets go stink, so so proud of you! ❤️

stellahughes I love you quinny :(

trevorzegras STINK

jackhughes STINK STINK

colecaufield STINKKKKK

cam.york LITTLE STINK IS ALL GROWN UP

_alexturcotte STINK ‼️

stellahughes I hate you guys, please it’s not funny anymore 😭

lhughes_06 no no it’s still funny

williamnylander can’t wait to watch you win Estella! Miss you!

stellahughes thank you Willy! I miss you tons 🫶🏻

tatemcrae my girl my girl 😻

stellahughes mine mine mine 😻

usfigureskating our girl is back !!

stellahughes back n better 😽

stellahughes

liked by _slafkovsky_ , dixiedamelio , barzal97 and others

🏷️ jackhughes colecaufield trevorzegras

🎵Maneater - Nelly Furtado

stellahughes: rip cole n jack , me and trev totally dominated their asses 💋

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jackhughes please never say you dominated my ass again you freak

jackhughes besides it’s Cole’s fault, he can’t hit a racket to save his life…or mine!

colecaufield yeah well you were shit at golf and you act like I would want to save your life anyway 🖕🏻

trevorzegras we really did a number on them @/stellahughes they are still arguing 🤣

stellahughes @/jackhughes @/colecaufield it’s okay, we will go easy on you in darts 💋

Lilybaileys I am channeling my inner tashi this summer

stellahughes ART PLS IM ON MY KNEES 😫 IM TRYING TO BE MRS DONALDSON BY THE END OF THE SUMMER 😫

rutgermcgroarty babe what🧍‍♂️@/stellahughes

carmenbarlowe okay but Patrick tho…. 🤭

stellahughes THE WAY I WOULD MATCH HIS FREAK PERFECTLY IN A WAY THAT IS CONCERNING TO FEMINISM 😵‍💫

rutgermcgroarty sighs

username Please Stella being in love with art and Patrick is so real 😭

username her outfits always eat goddd 😫

username JACK IS SO PRETTY AHHH

username Stella + art and Patrick fanfic is not a want, it’s a need.

rutgermcgroarty please don’t, she’s already up all night reading them and watching edits 😭

tarayummyy ur so hot babes imyyy

stellahughes i miss you moreee 💋

_alexturcotte can’t believe you went without me.

stellahughes ITS NOT MY FAULT YOH MISSED UR FLIGHT

luca.fantilli lookin good Stella ����

stellahughes come back pls :(

username she’s so pretty sobs 💔

username can Rutger fight??

rutgermcgroarty you wouldn’t even know how to handle her bud

username THE ICONIC FOUR IS BACK TOGETHER ‼️

username no one will understand how much I love Stella’s relationship with Cole and Trevor 😭

colecaufield good games or whatever 🙄

stellahughes don’t be upset Cole! It’s not your fault Jack dragged you down 🫶🏻

jackhughes don’t be afraid to come downstairs, it’s on sight you brat.

_quinnhughes I’ll make sure to come next time!

stellahughes pls pls pls we missed you (mostly me because I missed actual good competition)

jackhughes I am actually going to fight you.

_quinnhughes she would win that as well 🤣

lhughes_06 thanks for the invite 🙄

stellahughes you were to busy sucking face with Ethan and Daisy to see that I texted you 10 times.

rutgermcgroarty Stella the skirts are driving me crazy 😵‍💫

stellahughes why do you think I wear them? 🤭

jackhughes I can’t stand you guys.

simjaeyunn what are you not good at 😻

pshoon2002 driving, playing hide and seek, swimming, writing in cursive…the list is quite long actually.

stellahughes WHY ARE YOU MY BIGGEST HATER 😭‼️

pshoon2002 IM NOT IM JUST TRYING TO PROTECT YOU FROM JAKES DELUSIONAL ASS ‼️

simjaeyunn Stella is this guy bothering you 😾

ahndaesee my superstar is always on top 🫶🏻

stellahughes my number one supporter 🫶🏻

rutgermcgroarty ‼️ LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER ‼️

ahndaesee gtfo rut don’t ruin this for me 😾

stellahughes pls guys don’t fight, their is enough of me to go around 🤭

rutgermcgroarty I DONT LIKE TO SHARE

pshoon2002 Stella doesn’t like selfish guys

stellahughes HOONIE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

username pls why is Stella’s comment sections always so chaotic

username Daisy and ruts beef is hilarious

username Stella, daisy and sunghoon best childhood friends ‼️

markestapa I’d let her fuck me with a racket 🏓

lhughes_06 MARK?!?!

jackhughes TF DID YOU JUST SAY TO MY SISTER?!?!

markestapa ITS A QUOTE FROM THE MOVIE I SWEAR

markestapa POOKIE PLS HELP ME @/stellahughes

edwards.73 pls I can’t breathe 😭

username like I said chaotic 😭

stellahughes

liked by _alexturcotte , _eliaspettersson , g.brindley4 and others

🎵 coming home - Beabadoobee

stellahughes: the prettiest views + jack n trev

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jackhughes there is way to much kissing going on here 😾

jackhughes what’s that’s supposed to mean ??

jackhughes for your information, I’m by far more prettier than you

stellahughes plss 😭 jack when did you get so funny??

trevorzegras are you saying me and Jack not pretty?

stellahughes 🤐

dylanduke25 I’m still recovering from that dinner 🤒

tyler__duke5 wdym I’m a great cook?

nick_moldenhauer great is a strong work bud

stellahughes you almost lit my kitchen AND Nick on fire 😰

tyler__duke5 ‘almost’ being the key word okay 👍🏻

Lilybaileys mark almost falling in the fire out was the best part of my night ☺️

markestapa just say you want me okay 😏

luca.fantilli miss you Stella :(

stellahughes I miss you more !! You and Adam get your asses here asap !!

adamfantilli yes ma’am 🫡

edwards.73 I’m still in shock from that criminal minds ep

LiamBarlowe I don’t think we will ever be the same 😖

stellahughes you guys are so dramatic omg 😭

trevorzegras Luke face planting into the water five seconds after you took that pic was the highlight of my day

stellahughes I thought we lost him ngl

jackhughes the Hughes do summer the best!

jackhughes would be a perfect summer if I don’t have to see you and rut kiss and touch each other all the time 😒

username everyone say thank you Stella for feeding us this summer!

username the iconic faceless pictures are back!

username love them but I miss her face 😭

lhughes_06 I’m pretty sure I still have water in my nose and ears

lhughes_06 also can we all vote that Tyler is never in charge of cooking again

stellahughes LEAVE TYLER ALONE YOU PUNK only I can bully him

colecaufield you always make the summers better stells! ❤️

stellahughes I love you coley ☹️ (let’s go get breakfast)

colecaufield I’m getting the keys rn

mackie.samo I’m still sick from all the s’mores stell

stellahughes please I haven’t left my bed 😭

jacob_truscott20 STELLA HUGHES THE UNDEFEATED QUEEN OF BEER PONG ‼️

stellahughes hmm it’s so comfy on my throne 😇

lhughes_06 someone please humble her

edwards.73 that’s no way to talk to your queen lukey

lhughes_06 omfg

markestapa MY BEAUTIFUL QUEEN 🙇‍♂️

_alexturcotte the way I witnessed you pushing rut into the lake after he took that first picture of you 😟

stellahughes I wanted him to take off his shirt 🤷🏻‍♀️

rutgermcgroarty YOU COULD HAVE JUST ASKED

username Stella and rut are actually the cutest ever

username I love Stella’s relationship with all the guys!

username that’s their little sister !!

ahndaesee your ass looks great in that picture

edwards.73 BABE ??

lhughes_06 Baby pls stop looking at my sisters ass 😐

stellahughes look @/ahndaesee men trying to tell us woman, what to do 🙄

ahndaesee disgusting you two.

edwards.73 PRETTY I DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING @/ahndaesee

_quinnhughes I’m never letting you drive the boat again.

stellahughes it was an accident, no one got hurt ☹️

trevorzegras i literally fell out of the boat Stella

stellahughes but it was funny! @/trevorzegras

_quinnhughes okay yeah ur right it was funny

trevorzegras wtf Quinn 😐

username pls Quinn and Trevor are so funny 😂

username boat Stella is the best Stella

rutgermcgroarty ur so cute baby, I can’t wait for more summers with you 🩷

stellahughes you make my summers (life) better rut 🩷

username AHH THE PICTURES OF HER AND RUT

username HIS COMMENT PLS IM GONNA SOB

username PLEASE THE WAY HES HOLDING HER 😭

username awe Daisy and Stella cuddled up on the couch watching criminal minds 😭

carmenbarlowe I will never be able to look at that hot tub the same Stella 😐

stellahughes MINNIE PLS WE APOLOGIZED ALREADY 🙏

rutgermcgroarty we weren’t even doing anything crazy 🙄

jackhughes WTF ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT, AM I GONNA HAVE TO BUY A NEW HOT TUB ??

stellahughes omfg we were just kissing

stellahughes added to their story !

[caption: not rut trying to erase our love @/ahndaesee 😐]

ahndaesee replied to your story ‘rutger mcgroarty count your fucking days’

stellahughes he’s sleeping on the couch tn 🙄

rutgermcgroarty replied to your story ‘you’re mine 😾’

stellahughes I love when you are possessive. But know your place 🩷 (I love you, but I love my wife)

lhughes_06 replied to your story ‘let’s go rut! Taking one for the team 💪🏻’

stellahughes 🙄👎🏻

simjaeyunn replied to your story ‘how dare he…you should break up with him 😌’

stellahughes don’t be silly Jake, I’m just being dramatic 🫶🏻

dylanduke25 replied to your story ‘oh, the d isn’t for me?”

stellahughes DYLAN PLS 😭

Lilybaileys replied to your story ‘that’s our sacred tree that mf 😠’

carmenbarlowe reacted with 😱

LiamBarlowe replied to your story ‘not him messing with the sacred tree’

stellahughes RIGHT ?! 😾 (miss you come back to Michigan pls)

markestapa replied to your story ‘oh he can mess with the tree but I can’t 🙄’

stellahughes don’t be jealous pookie 😽

stellahughes

liked by adamfantilli , mollyannmcg , _willsmith2 and others

🏷️ ahndaesee

🎵How Sweet - NewJeans

stellahughes: my pretty wife took me out on a date today 😻

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📍 ahndaesee happy wife happy life 🥰

stellahughes happy WIVES happy LIVES 😻

rutgermcgroarty @/ahndaesee she’s literally laying right next to me rn in my shirt btw.

ahndaesee ya don’t you know how sweet it tastes ?? 🍭

rutgermcgroarty you DON’T know how sweet it tastes 😾

stellahughes RUT PLS ENOUGH 😭

username this is so pretty stop

username Stella and Daisy are the best duo mhm ‼️

username Prettiest best friends 💕

Lilybaileys about to get in my homewrecker era 😻

stellahughes we don’t live together

Lilybaileys stella pls you gotta stop quoting the challengers 😓

markestapa MRS STEAL YOUR GURLL 😎

markestapa please ethan is a pouting mess rn he’s having Daisy withdrawals

stellahughes it’s deserved. now he knows how I feel 😾

lhughes_06 stop stealing my gf :/

stellahughes it’s not stealing if she willingly came 😼

lhughes_06 why is reading that making me so uncomfortable.

elblue6 you girls are so pretty 💕

stellahughes I love you mom 😽🩷

ahndaesee thank you Ellen 😭🫶🏻

pshoon2002 without me 😓

stellahughes stop being dramatic and come visit 🫶🏻 (PLEASE)

edwards.73 😐

stellahughes 👰🏻‍♀️ 👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏻 👰🏻‍♀️

edwards.73 I HATE YOU

stellahughes ur gf doesn’t 😮‍💨

username I love how close they are!!

username pls Luke and Ethan’s comments are taking me out 😭

username the nails are so pretty 🥰

rutgermcgroarty wow I am so lucky to have STELLA as MY GIRLFRIEND 🥰

ahndaesee 🙄

rutgermcgroarty I’m seeking for a promotion in our relationship 😌

rutgermcgroarty my eyes have been blessed 😍

stellahughes baby stop flirting with me in the comments and flirt with me in person pls

rutgermcgroarty bet 😏

username THE STRAWBERRIES 🍓 😋

username Stella please I am not your strongest soldier 😍

username cutest couple ever 🩷

rutgermcgroarty @/ahndaesee it’s on sight.

ahndaesee you heard the people 😇

lhughes_06 how do I dislike this post.

rutgermcgroarty ur asking the right questions.

mackie.samo LETS GO GIRLS ‼️

tyler__duke5 bring me some of those strawberries I’ll make us some pancakes

stellahughes if it’s in Daisy’s aprentment I’m down!

ahndaesee last time you cooked in my kitchen my apartment almost burned down @/tyler__duke5

tyler__duke5 okay but it was an accident ☹️

stellahughes yeah Daisy , it was an accident ☹️

carmenbarlowe I’m in love 🥰

ahndaesee you want us sooo bad 🤭

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( this took me way to long omg 😭 I rlly hope you guys enjoyed it — please let me know what you guys think !! This genuinely took me forever . . . I also have another smau in the work !! )

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( ahndaesee/daisy is an oc created by my bestie @qoqurt and everyone should go check her out pls !! So a few people in the smau might be a little confusing . . . So pshoon2002/sunghoon is Stella and Daisy’s childhood friend and is also in the kpop group enhypen !!! simjaeyunn/ jake and notriki/niki are also part of the group , just wanted to clear any confusion !! )

°. — taglist ( @cixrosie @toasttt11 @lovings4turn @bunbunbl0gs @petite-potato4 @winterbarnesblog @yoontwin @iceflwers )

©️WINTFLEUR

[bbyboybucket]

Okay besties, today I’m giving you the run down of Buckys finances and networth. Because as I’ve said multiple times, he’s obscenely wealthy despite the fact you’d never know by looking at him.

Now first off, MatPat (my fav YouTuber who I’m so sad is retiring, literally adore him) did a mini theory a few years ago, calculating Bucky’s compound interest in previously earned money from WWII in his frozen bank account while he was presumed dead. It totaled out to $51,143. This is just the money that he earned in the 30s/40s and has grown interest on. This is assuming the money wasn’t given to his family and for the purpose of this post, we’ll go with that it wasn’t. However, MatPat didn’t account back pay, for disability pay, and other military pay/benefits.

So as a starter point, we’ll use $51,143. Next, I’m going to calculate his back pay from being MIA/POW because he would have been considered active duty. A MIA/POW is given back pay of 50% of the average per diem rate, for each day held in captivity. The 2023 rate is $157 per day, and I assume that would be similar for him because TFATWS takes place in early 2024. So that means Bucky would get $78.50 per day. There is no time limit on how far back pay can date to, so the entire span of Bucky’s capture is accounted for. As per the Smithsonian memorial in CA:TWS, Bucky was captured in 1944, making it exactly 70 years of capture. So, the back pay for those 70 years, is $2,005,675.

Next, we’ll look at the different forms of disability pay he would receive. I’m only going to look at canonical, confirmed disabilities for this. Bucky would be classified under SMC-N 1/2, where one arm was amputated above the elbow and/or was amputated so close to the shoulder that a prosthetic cannot be worn. Now obviously, Bucky does have a prosthetic but it is implanted into his body, as a majority of his left shoulder seems to have been amputated. Since he is single and has no dependents, aka has no children and is not taking care of any family, and he is still able to work, he would be receiving $6,182 a month.

He also has PTSD, which he would most likely get a 70% percent disability rating for, as 100% is very rare to receive for mental and is considered to be extreme impairment in daily functioning. (He could recieve 80 or 90% but I’m being generous here and trying to give the most realistic assessment). All this means, his mental illness pay for PTSD would be $1716 a month.

It’s also canonical that he has brain damage via The Wakanda Files book. We know in that book, he’s described to have pretty severe TBI. However, we don’t know anything of his symptoms and the book only describes of the brain scan looks bad and that the serum is keeping him from being more impaired. The VA uses 10 areas of impairment as criteria to rate the severity of TBI disability. The only canonically confirmed area that we know Bucky deals with is memory. Since we know no other symptoms and we know he’s not extremely impaired, I’m going to estimate he’d be rated at 50%. Which would give him a compensation of $1075 a month.

Now, we can assume Bucky is retired from the military. From being a retired sergeant, we can assume his monthly pension is around $5,482.

Reminder, all VA pay is untaxed. All of these together, his monthly salary is $14,455. However, this is not including disability back pay. The VA sometimes will pay a lump sum from back from when the diagnosis was made. Assuming the Wakandans were involved in Bucky’s trial and pardon, I’d assume some of his medical records were brought in as well. Back dating to when he was being treated in Wakanda, that’s 7 years, however we don’t know if the blip would count so for that reason, I’ll say 2 years. So, his lump sum would be around $215,352.

Now, endgame was in October, six months before TFATWS, meaning it took place around March/April. Within, the span of October to March, Bucky woulda have accumulated $86,730. Because even if his pardon wasn’t official yet in October, he would still receive payment for that month.

Finally, in grand total, all of this is $2,358,900. His networth would be in a similar, slightly lower range. Meaning: yes, Bucky Barnes is a millionaire and nobody would ever guess.

[cloudbersoo]

would you mind?｜zhang hao

synopsis: how to get over a guy you didn’t even date in ten easy steps with the help of zhang hao.

tags: zhang hao x gn!reader, acquaintances to lovers, university au, fluff, slight angst, y/n likes someone else at the beginning, y/n is very drunk, making out when drunk, shy!hao, bestie!matthew has no filter, roommate!taerae, hanbin keeps laughing, what did jiwoong do though? y/n overthinks a little sometimes, mentions of sex and implied sex but no explicit smut! (im a minor and can’t write smut for the life of me)

word count: 6k (how did this get so long?)

a/n: this is my first fic in like six years and the first in english altogether! idk how to feel about this one but i thought to post it anyway. writing this honestly made me respect fanfic writers so much more, it really isn’t easy! this took me like five days to make. not sure how often i’ll be doing this but i enjoyed writing a lot. sorry for any grammar errors or such, i proofread this a couple of times, but my english isn’t perfect, so some mistakes might go past me. anyway, thanks and sorry! enjoy reading!

my playlist while writing: in bloom & new kidz on the block by zb1, cream soda & private party by exo, roller coaster & party o’clock by nmixx !!

i. drink your feelings away

“finally you’re here” matthew mumbled in his slightly drunken stage, leaning onto a wall as you closed the door behind you. you could hear the music and people’s chatter coming from the living room. the smell of alcohol was also very strong, especially on your friend. you wished you could just turn back and go home. you were way too miserable to party right now but the sweet smile matthew was giving you was making you stay. you couldn’t possibly disappoint your best friend on his special day.

“yeah, sorry for being late” you finally answered to the birthday boy as you handed out your gift with a forced smile. “happy birthday matt.” 

he took the bottle of wine and chuckled. “thank you y/n” he said, looking at the bottle of his favourite. “for this and for coming tonight” he continued as he raised his gaze to you apologetically. 

“of course” you uttered, trying your best to convince your friend you wanted to be here, as if you didn’t just think about leaving two seconds ago. your convincing didn’t seem to be working as matthew sighed. matthew put down the bottle and walked in front of you. he examined your face for a while before he embraced you in a hug. “he didn’t deserve you anyway” he whispered close to your ear.

right.

jaemin.

the guy who broke your heart just a few days ago. he didn’t mean to, you suppose. he just didn’t realise you were totally in love with him when he introduced you to his partner of three years. how stupid could you be?

you held your tiers in at the mention of him. not today. you can cry about it later. 

you embraced your friend for a while as you collected yourself. “you know what matt?” You finally spoke as you made eye contact with him. matthew hummed, looking at you with anticipation. 

“i’m going to have fun tonight.”

ii. embarrass yourself

about five bottles of soju and a couple beers later you were completely out of it. you were somewhere in matthew’s apartment, kitchen or living room, you were not entirely sure. laying on the cold floor with zero thoughts of your shattered heart. you felt at peace. your peace, however, didn’t last long as it was eventually broken by a familiar voice calling your name. 

“y/n? you okay down there?” the voice asked with amusement. you opened your eyes and were met with hanbin’s gaze from above you. he must have found your state hilarious as he bursted out laughing. 

you got up from the floor with difficulty and flopped next to him on the couch. “never been better” you mumbled to your friend with a relaxed smile. you started making yourself comfortable and leaned your head on hanbin’s shoulder. what you failed to notice in your drunken state was the other person sitting on the couch. the one you were currently cuddling up to.

“hao” your friend started. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen y/n so wasted” hanbin laughed with tears in his eyes. 

what. 

suddenly, you were too aware of your surroundings, like there was no alcohol in your system anymore. you quickly got up and saw that hanbin was not in fact the person you had leaned into. the person sitting next to you was hanbin’s good friend, zhang hao. the boy’s face flushed as he looked at your shocked face.

oh my god.

you were not that familiar with zhang hao. you knew he was good friends with hanbin and matthew. he was from the music department just like your roommate taerae, and you were pretty sure he played the violin. he was reserved and quiet, and definitely not the most fond of you (even though your friends have tried to convince you otherwise). a friend of a friend. that’s what he was. not someone who you could comfortably cuddle with. this is so embarrassing.

“i’m so sorry!” you quickly blurted out as you hid your face behind your palms. you could still hear hanbin’s laugh as you were thinking about your way out of the situation. 

“it’s o-okay” zhang hao managed to stutter. you were in too deep thought to hear what the boy in front of you was saying. you searched for your other friend in the crowd. it’s time for me to leave. as you found matthew by the balcony with a girl, you turned back to the men on the couch. “i’m just gonna go!” you quickly said to prevent any more embarrassment and made your way to your best friend.

he saw you coming from afar and smirked at you. “you’ve definitely enjoyed yourself” matthew said delightfully. oh. he definitely saw everything.

“you saw nothing” you bit back and leaned onto your friend as the alcohol started to kick back in again. “i’m going home” you continued. could you even walk straight? no. but you could just call your roommate to meet you halfway.

“in this state? no you’re not” the boy slurred just as drunk as you were. he wrapped his arm around your shoulder in an attempt to keep you from leaving. you were glad your friend cared about your safety even when he was drunk. his company, however, was not enjoying the sight in front of her and you could tell you had interrupted something. 

“i’ll call taerae to pick me up, don’t worry.” you assured your friend. “i’ll leave you two alone now.” you gave a smile to the girl and mouthed “sorry” as you left the two before matthew could protest any further.

iii. make a foolish choice

walking down four sets of stairs with your hands occupied by your phone was a challenge. you somehow made it though and were trying to contact your roommate. he was not answering. where is he? your apartment wasn’t that far from matthew’s but the darkness was creeping you out a little. you sent a quick text to taerae, saying you were coming home before you started your journey. 

you had made it past a couple turns when you started feeling like someone was following you. you’re just being paranoid, that's all. but the feeling only grew stronger as you clearly heard footsteps behind you. you were already walking as fast as you could in your state. is this the end?  “i’m gonna die-”

“y/n,” you quickly turned around to the familiar voice. 

zhang hao.

“oh it’s just you” you said as you relaxed until it hit you. zhang hao. the reason why you had run away from the party in the first place. your surprise finally showed on your face, which zhang hao found amusing. 

"sorry if I scared you” he let out an airy laugh while awkwardly standing in front of you. for some reason you had never really looked at the boy. he was tall and his hair was still styled nicely even after a long day. he was wearing a light blue button up shirt with black jeans that seemed way out of your price range. there was something about the way he was looking at you under the glow of the streetlights. he was looking at you with stars in his eyes, like there was no one else but the two of you in the world. the sight of him almost made your heart skip a beat. he had a few moles on his face, one right under his eye and another on his cheek that you wish you could kiss right now. has he always been this pretty? 

no. why is he here? 

he tried to give you a reassuring smile as he took a step closer. “you shouldn’t walk alone at this hour, it’s not safe for you.” he continued like he had just read your mind.

“so you think I'm safe with you?” you asked, slightly teasing. it was definitely the alcohol speaking.

the boy’s eyes widened in shock and he opened his mouth to say something but failed. “well- I mean” zhang hao finally responded with panic, not quite sure what he was supposed to say. you couldn’t hold your giggles which seemed to ease his nerves. his figure seemed to relax as he walked past you. “my apartment isn’t that far from yours, so we can just walk together. it’s safer for both of us.” zhang hao finished. 

lies. you’ve once picked hanbin up from his apartment and it's nowhere near yours. however, zhang hao didn’t need to know that you knew. you wouldn’t mind walking home with him even if the two of you weren’t that close, because he was right – this was safer (not because he suddenly made you think of things you haven't before).

so, the two of you continued walking towards your place. zhang hao didn’t say much as you walked, only telling you to be more careful as you almost stumbled to the ground. he also decided to hold you up from your waist from that point on – which you definitely didn’t mind. he didn’t seem to mind either as there was no signs of annoyance that you would’ve except from zhang hao in this situation.  

“we’re here” he said as the two of you stood in front of your apartment building. you really didn’t want him to go. you really didn’t want to be alone at all. because you knew the moment you were alone again you’d break down again and cry about the guy who broke your heart. just for this one night, you wished not to cry yourself to sleep. maybe it was foolish of you to ask zhang hao of all people to comfort you, but right now you couldn’t think of anything else. 

“would you like to come in?”

“do you need help to get to your door?”

you both had talked at the same time. you broke eye contact as the two of you chuckled. so he didn’t want to leave yet either? as it got quiet again you decided to look at the boy again. zhang hao seemed hesitant as he studied your face. then he smiled at you as he said “if that’s what you need.”

iv. get cockbocked by a roommate

some might find the silence between you and zhang hao awkward, but you found it soothing. he was drinking the water you had given him as you sat on the kitchen counter. he looked even more handsome up close. the way he was leaning onto the counter and the way he was looking at you. oh, how much you wished to make him yours tonight. would he mind? 

your mind stopped wandering as the boy put down his glass on the sink. “i should probably go and let you sleep” he said quietly as he stood in front of you. he was incredibly close to you, his hand on your knee, his nose almost touching yours – like he didn’t want to leave. you couldn’t help but lower your gaze to his lips. they were pink and puffy, slightly wet like they were waiting to be kissed. you looked back to zhang hao’s eyes but they didn’t meet yours. he was doing the same thing – staring at your lips. 

maybe you were going to regret it. maybe this wasn’t right, kissing your friends’ friend. but you couldn’t possibly think about any of that as you leaned in. 

his lips felt as soft as they looked. it took a moment for zhang hao to realise what was happening but eventually he kissed you back. his left hand landed on your cheek as his right hand went up your thigh. the kiss deepened as you put your hands around the boy's neck, pulling him closer to you. you don’t remember the last time you have been kissed like this. he was driving you insane and you wished he’d never stop. 

“y/n?” you hear a voice say at the door. 

taerae.

you and zhang hao froze before you rapidly let go of each other. sleepy taerae rubbed his eyes walking into the kitchen as you tried to calm your beating heart. so he didn’t answer because he was asleep. you took a look at zhang hao who’s blush was prominent even in the dark. “when did you get home?” your roommate asked as he yawned.

“zhang hao walked me, i was just giving him some water before he left.” you blurted out an excuse, which wasn’t inherently a lie – taerae didn’t need to know what happened after that. your sleepy roommate didn’t look suspicious and seemed to buy it. “he was actually just about to leave.” you took another look at zhang hao, trying to get him to say something. 

“yeah, i’ll just get going then.” he said, bid taerae goodbye, and was out of the apartment in mere minutes. 

fuck.

v. overthink your life choices

lunch used to be your favourite time of the day, mostly because you used to share it with jaemin all the time. matthew barely ever had time to eat lunch with you, which is how you got to know jaemin in the first place. the two of you clicked instantly and you thought there was something between you. how wrong you were. the past week you have been distancing yourself from jaemin and he hasn't been asking after you. you really meant nothing to him in the end. even now he’s just a few tables away loudly debating about something with his group of friends, completely unaware of the effect he has had on you.

taerae’s giggles seem to wake you from your slumber. you moved your gaze from jaemin to your roommate. he was laughing over a video hanbin had just shown him. “what is jiwoong doing?” he managed to say between giggles. 

“speaking of the devil” hanbin said as he waved past your shoulder. jiwoong walked to your table with zhang hao next to him, which was odd as the two of you’ve had a similar relationship with the chinese boy up until a few days ago (unless jiwoong had also been making out with him recently). “what did i do?” jiwoong questioned his friends as he placed his lunch on the table.

“nothing, nothing. where’s matthew?” hanbin said as he hid his phone with a grin.

“he’s on a date” you said nonchalantly. everyone at the table suddenly turned their heads towards you. they had totally forgotten you were even there as you had spent most of your break staring at a certain someone. you should get your shit together.

“oh right, zhang hao! thanks for walking y/n home the other night.” taerae said as zhang hao sat next to hanbin. well shit. you hadn’t told anyone of what had happened with zhang hao after matthew’s party. you hadn’t even talked to zhang hao since then. you felt awful that you had tried to use him to forget about someone else, and then kicked him out as your roommate found the two of you. you weren’t sure how you were supposed to even bring it up to him when you were never alone with him anyway. 

“you walked her home?” hanbin questioned as he turned his head to his left where zhang hao was sitting. the boy only gave his friend a small nod as he dug into his food. his aura seemed so different in the daylight. his hair wasn’t styled like at the party, it was a bit all over the place. the way he stuffed his mouth full of food made him look cute. his cheeks were slightly pink with blush. while observing the boy, you had completely missed the teasing smile on hanbin’s face.

how were you supposed to talk to him? thanks for walking me home and making out with me in my kitchen. does he even want to talk about it? the two of you had seen each other around campus a couple times since then and he hasn't tried to talk to you once. maybe all of it was just a spur of the moment thing for him that he now wished to forget about.

you sighed as you decided it was your time to leave for class. there was no way you were going to talk to zhang hao now anyway, not in front of all your friends. “my lecture is starting soon, i’ll go now.” you said as you stood up. taking your things with you and hearing people say their goodbyes, you were on your way.

“wait, are we just going to ignore the fact that matthew is on a date?” you could hear jiwoong ask behind you.

vi. get help

“so…” matthew said in a teasing tone as he sat across from you at the library. 

“so, what?” you questioned, like you had no idea what your best friend was referring to. well, in your defence, you never knew with matthew, but you had a feeling this conversation topic started with a z and ended with hang hao. “you and hao?” he continued, just like you had anticipated, raising his eyebrows. 

“what about me and zhang hao?” you continued, acting clueless in the hopes of him dropping the conversation. 

“after what i saw at my birthday party and then hearing he walked you home, i hoped the two of you worked out the weird tension between you two and finally fucked” your friend blurted out in a very matthew way, like it was the most obvious conclusion to come to in the world. 

“we did not!” you raised your voice a little too much as you tried to defend yourself. you got a few judging stares from the people around you who were trying to study. something you were supposed to do as well, instead of having this conversation about zhang hao. “we didn’t fuck…” you continued more quietly. there was no reason for you to lie to your best friend. not when you could use his help.

“but you were going to?” he gave you a knowing look.

“well yeah, but then taerae woke up and i panicked and i kinda kicked zhang hao out-” you started rambling. wait. “how did you know we almost fucked? did he talk to you? what did he say? does he totally hate me now?” you continued like you were going to lose your mind. and now matthew was laughing at you, trying his best to stay quiet. 

“i haven’t talked to anyone, except hanbin, he’s just as convinced there’s something going on between you and hao as i am” your friend finally spoke. if only you knew what was going on between the two of you. you sighed and hit your head on the table. “what’s the problem y/n? you know, you could just text him and ask him" matthew said.

“i don’t have his number” you mumble in despair. 

“what? how can you not have his number?” matthew asked, confused.

“why would i? was i supposed to ask for it when we were making out or something?” you said as you lifted your head from the table, looking at your friend who definitely didn’t need to hear any more details of that night.

matthew took his phone out of his pocket, and gave it to you after a moment. “here, take his number and text him”

vii. become friends

you were currently sitting down at a park you had agreed to meet with zhang hao. matthew was able to convince you it was better to sort things out with zhang hao sooner than later. but now that you were here, waiting for the guy, you couldn’t help but feel nervous. it was warm as summer was finally coming and you felt like you were sweating buckets. was it the weather or your nerves – you were not quite sure.

“hi, did you have to wait long?” you hear a familiar voice from your left and see zhang hao’s figure coming towards you. he waved at you while giving you a sweet smile. damn. he’s so pretty. 

“oh no, not at all” you answered, trying to give the boy a smile to hide your nervousness. 

“what did you want to talk about?” zhang hao said calmly as he sat down next to you. unlike the other night, now he had left much space between the two of you. he didn’t seem nervous at all, which made you feel uneasy. maybe this wasn’t as big of a deal for him as it was for you. 

“at matt’s party, i’m sorry for being such a mess and dragging you into it” you decided to tell him. “i had a few too many drinks that night.” you took a look at zhang hao. he seemed surprised, maybe a little hurt as he tried to get comfortable on the bench. was that not the right thing to say?  “i mean, i probably made you uncomfortable and then i rushed you out of my place when taerae woke up, it was super rude of me to-” you were starting to ramble. 

“i wasn’t uncomfortable” he cut you off. he finally turned to look at you again “i wouldn’t have come in if i was.” there was the look again, making your heart beat louder on your chest. he was looking at you like he did under the streetlights, like you were the only person in the world that mattered. you wouldn’t mind getting lost in his eyes. “so don’t be too sorry, i enjoyed it as long as it lasted.” he gave you a shy smile.

oh.

this was the first time the boy had made you blush, usually it was the other way around. you broke eye contact to hide your shyness from him. “cool, cool” you started quite awkwardly. “we should probably be casual about all this, since we're friends and all…”

“we’re friends now? i’m cool with that” zhang hao replied with amusement.

“i mean, we’ve known each other long enough to call us that, i guess” you tried to reason, not realising your friend was only teasing you. as you turned your gaze back to him you saw him still smiling at you. this man will be the death of me. “well that’s that. sorry i can’t stay longer, i have places to be. bye zhang hao.” you said as you got up from the bench. you had nowhere to be, but you couldn’t possibly handle being in zhang hao’s presence any longer. 

“bye friend!” he yelled after you still with a teasing tone.

viii. feel nothing

you and your new friend zhang hao have gotten along well since your talk at the park. nothing has changed that much, except now you greet each other at campus, engage in conversation together, and sometimes share memes with each other. you have tried to convince matthew that you and zhang hao are really just friends and nothing more. matthew just can’t help himself when he teases you with kissy noises every time you interact with zhang hao. he’s the only other person that knows about your little secret. even hanbin doesn’t know, because if he did — everyone would. 

you were finally finished with your last class of the day, walking out of your department building. you felt at ease as everything in your life was finally going well. you were able to sort things out with zhang hao, you weren’t particularly struggling with any classes, and you were barely thinking about him, who shall not be named. 

as if on cue, there he was standing a few meters away from you. jaemin. he wasn’t alone though, as he was having a conversation with someone. you couldn’t quite tell what the two were talking about, not that really even mattered to you. contrary to popular belief, your heart no longer ached at the sight of him. you continued your journey with no intent to interact with jaemin, at least not until you realised who exactly he was talking with. when you were close enough you could recognize the other man’s voice.

what was zhang hao doing with jaemin? the sight in front of you felt really odd, but you couldn’t possibly look away. zhang hao almost towered over jaemin, paying attention to what the latter was talking about. he was wearing glasses that complimented his face well. one of his sleeves was rolled up revealing his toned arm. he looked so mesmerising, you couldn't help but stare.

it didn’t take long for you to be caught staring as jaemin called out your name. “wow it’s been so long. how have you been?” he asked happily as you took a few steps closer to the two. zhang hao was surprised to see you, his gaze moving between you and jaemin. his face filled with worry made you think he must have heard about jaemin and you from someone (definitely not from hanbin). you gave zhang hao a reassuring smile as you greeted jaemin, who was ready to embrace you in a hug. 

“i’ve been well” you sounded a little awkward as the two of you let go. an act that used to make your heart do backflips no longer felt like anything. “what were you two talking about? i didn’t know you even knew each other.” you asked out of curiosity as you stood next to zhang hao, who suddenly put his arm around your shoulder. you turned your head towards your friend, trying to understand what he was up to. 

“we’ve shared a few classes here and there” zhang hao said as he turned his head to face you. he was so close to you again, making your heart beat louder on your chest. “you’re ready to go?” he continued. you could only show your confusion on your face as you didn’t trust your voice to say anything at the close proximity. “dinner? remember?” he gave you a wink.

what? you were completely lost. what was this man talking about? 

“oooh, date night?” jaemin cooed in front of you. he took his headphones out of his back and put them over his ears. “i won't waste your time anymore then. y/n we should totally catch up sometime!” he didn’t wait for your response before he left. 

you and zhang hao stayed close to each other in silence for a while. you wondered if he could hear the way your heart was beating for him. you tried to look for answers from his face but to no avail. finally, zhang hao moved and removed his hand off of you, what had felt like way too soon. “sorry” he said as he stood in front of you. “you must have felt awkward seeing him” he continued, scratching the back of his neck. 

“did you do all that to get rid of him? i’m fine, i don’t like him like that anymore” you felt the need to clarify to him.

“oh” he said, blush breaking to his face and neck. “well, i was getting tired of him anyway” he excused and removed his gaze from you to hide his embarrassment. you thought he looked the cutest whenever he got shy or embarrassed. 

your laugh seemed to peak his interest again, as he turned his gaze back on you. your blushing face, matching his own. a comfortable silence fell between you again. ”just friends huh?” you could hear matthew’s teasing voice in your head.

“y/n?” zhang hao eventually spoke. you hummed as a response, waiting him to carry on. “have you eaten yet?” the boy continued hesitantly. 

“no, not yet” you answered truthfully, not quite sure where the conversation was going. zhang hao stayed quiet for a while. he was nervously shifting on his place, turning his face away from you once again. he was trying to find the right way to ask you.

“would you like to go out for dinner then?” he asked carefully. 

“sure!” you answered enthusiastically. you were starving at this point and wouldn’t mind spending some time with friends as well. “who else is coming?” 

“well, i thought it could be just us…” the boy responded, still not daring to look at you. 

oh.

“oh! that works too. sure. yeah.” you replied, definitely not embarrassed that you didn’t get the hint right away. “does indian sound good to you? i’m craving butter chicken” you continued, trying to move the conversation onwards, while your heart kept beating hard against your chest. 

“if that’s what you want, it’s good with me” zhang hao said and the two of you started your way out of campus, both a blushing mess.

ix. feel everything

you were not entirely sure what to think. had you just been on a date? zhang hao didn’t explicitly call it that, but it surely had felt like one. the dinner went smoothly, it didn’t feel awkward and the two of you were able to talk to each other comfortably. he constantly smiled at you and asked you questions about your life, putting the effort into getting to know you. he even insisted on paying for your meal in the end. 

you got to know things about him as well, as zhang hao no longer felt shy talking to you. he’s an only child and very close with his mom. he chose to play the violin, because it’s much easier to carry around compared to a cello. him and jiwoong have gotten closer lately because jiwoong had asked him to help him with a song he has been working on. he also revealed that he was glad that the two of you have gotten closer, which made you question things even more.

you were walking to your apartment in silence, completely sober this time. zhang hao had insisted on walking you home again, “as a man should” he had said. the way his hand was accidentally brushing against yours every once in a while was giving you butterflies in your stomach. you were not entirely sure if the man next to you even realises how much of an effect he had on you. you weren’t walking that fast because you really didn’t want the night to end. 

must to your dismay, you ended up in front of your apartment building. it felt like deja vu, standing in front of him again. you didn’t want zhang hao to leave, but you weren’t sure if it was appropriate to invite him in. you couldn't hide behind the confidence alcohol had given you last time. you didn't know what to say, so you settled on just staring at his face, completely mesmerised. he was doing the same, his gaze wandering on your face, like he was trying to remember each little detail of you. 

“i should…” zhang hao started, now looking straight into your eyes. “i should probably go now” he continued, not at all convincing. he made no effort to move, which finally gave you the confidence to talk. it won’t hurt to ask, right?

“i could offer you a glass of water before you go” you said, tearing your gaze away, still slightly scared of what he might answer. “you know, taerae’s not home tonight…” you added. as you heard no answer from the boy, you hesitantly took a look at him. he was smiling at you again, the way he had been all dinner. 

zhang hao took a step closer, raising his hand to hold your chin, making you hold eye contact with him. he lowered his gaze slowly to your lips, looking at you like you were someone to be desired. “you sure?” he finally spoke in a lower voice, still staring at your lips. you could only hum in response. and then he leaned in to kiss you. 

his lips were soft, but he pushed them hard against yours. he tasted like cherries as you kissed him back. the kiss deepened quickly as his tongue pushed past your lips. his arms lowered to your hips, pulling you closer, as you put yours behind his neck, playing with his hair. you didn’t stop until you both were almost running out of air.

zhang hao let out an airy laugh. “i’ve wanted to do that for a while” he confessed, your arms still tangled around each other. he was looking at you with so much adoration.

“yeah? me too” you smiled, your cheeks slightly pink. you let go of the boy to open the door to your apartment building. he held onto your arm as the two of you walked towards the elevator. you turned to look at zhang hao, who’s cheeks were a shade of pink as well. he noticed you staring and gave you another sweet smile. the door finally opened, and he couldn’t even wait till you got to your apartment, as he stole another kiss from you as you entered the elevator.

“i honestly thought you didn’t like me at all” you admitted to him as you parted from the kiss.

“that’s what hanbin always told me” zhang hao answered, now with a pout on his lips. “i was just too shy to talk to you, you’re like the most gorgeous person i’ve ever laid my eyes on” he continued, no longer daring to look you in the eye. even he seemed a little surprised by his sudden confession. 

oh. 

you’ve received compliments before, but hearing one from zhang hao felt different. your cheeks heated up again, and you could feel your excitement all the way down on your stomach. you wanted him so badly, you could only wish he felt the same way. when the elevator stopped, you decided to quickly peck the boy's cheek before you dragged him to your apartment.

once the door to your apartment closed behind you, you were all over each other. his lips connected with yours as your arms roamed all over your bodies. you couldn’t get enough of him, wanting him even closer to you. you stumbled over to your bedroom, where you gave him one more kiss before backing away.

zhang hao looked at you with concern. “are you okay?” he asked while still holding you closely.

“yeah, i just- i want to make sure you want this as much i do” you answered, studying his face for any signs of regret or hesitation. 

“i really like you y/n, and i want this more than you think” he admitted. he detached one of his hands from you to remove his glasses out of the way, putting them down to your nightstand. he lowered his hand on your cheek, cherishing it gently. “let me show you just how much you mean to me.”

so you let him, as you kissed him again.

x. fall in love

you were still out of breath as you cuddled up to zhang hao’s bare body. he wrapped his hand around you and squeezed you closer to him, twirling your hair with his fingers. you laid your head against his chest, drawing circles on his toned body, sighing with content. you felt zhang hao’s lips against your forehead, giving you a peck after peck. the act made you giggle, turning your gaze to him.

“what?” you asked.

“nothing, i’m just really happy” he answered, giving you one more kiss on your lips. he looked at you with so much love and warmth, which made you feel like you were dreaming. you couldn’t help but wonder what made you deserve to meet someone like zhang hao. no one has made you feel this good in such a long time, if ever. suddenly, very overwhelmed with your feelings, you hid your face on the crook of his neck.

you felt zhang hao’s chest vibrate from the laughter he let out. “cute” he whispered quietly, mostly to just himself, cherishing your head again. you got comfortable again, almost falling asleep in his embrace. his breath also evening out as he was slowly drifting away to sleep too.

“i really like you too, zhang hao” you sleepily mumbled against his skin, before the two of you fell into dreamland together.

- end

bonus:

“why do you always call me zhang hao?”

“maybe because it’s your name??”

“yes, but everyone calls me hao. you’re the only one who calls me zhang hao”

“oh”

“well, hao, i’ll call you that from now on”

the boy’s face flushed red as he finally heard you say his name. 

“oh my god, you’re so cute!” 

he turns his face to hide his blush from you.

“shut up”

[lovelytsunoda]

book lovers // lance stroll (instagram au)

summary: there’s no question why author y/n y/l/n’s books are so popular. it’s because she’s dating lance stroll, a man who is the definition of book boyfriend

yourusername

tagged: lancestroll

yourusername: we were due some time away…time to get the creative juices going on book three 🪻

see all comments

lancestroll I’d go anywhere with you, my love

landonorris I’m still waiting for you to name a character after me

-> yourusername we’ll you’re going to be waiting a while then bestie

user yall seem to be missing the part where she said she’s working on book three!!!

fernandoalonso you guys are so cute it’s sickening

user god she’s living out the romance book dream 🥺

yourusername

yourusername I have two very big, very exciting announcements to make today. the first is that after months and months of writing and editing and proofreading, I can finally tell you that my third novel ‘Book Lovers’ will be hitting shelves this December. My heart and soul has gone into this novel in ways you won’t even understand after you’ve read the last page.

Additionally, it appears that my boyfriend had some ulterior motives for this fun little trip to the coast. In six shorts months, I will officially be Y/N Stroll. Lance, you are my best friend. You were the inspiration in my mind when I wrote the love interest in my debut, and you are still the inspiration now that I’ve written my favourite novel yet. You make me feel like I’m living my own fairytale and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life loving you.

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lancestroll I cannot believe that you just announced our engagement in the same post as your new book

-> yourusername if I could finish writing that goddamn final draft and have the book turn out this good, planning a wedding will be a slice of cake

username he better treat her right because if he breaks her heart we are going to get the most gut wrenching tear inducing book of the century (it’s a canon event I cannot intervene)

danielricciardo if anyone asks the bigfoot erotica was my idea

-> user THE FUCKING WHAT

chloestroll Welcome to the family beautiful! Scotty can’t wait to get a character named after him

-> yourusername tell Scotty he’s going to be waiting a while 😭🫶🏻

[shy-urban-hobbit]

Today really wasn’t shaping up to be Edwin’s day. For one, he was still stuck in Port Townsend. The dreary, frigid weather reflected his mood perfectly as he ended up voluntarily rooting through various pieces of debris and detritus down an alley behind the house they were investigating if only to get away from Charles’ constant attempts at trying to impress Crystal as he followed her around like a puppy. He hadn’t even spared Edwin a glance when he stated his intention to search outside. Edwin briefly looked over at one of the top floor windows, wondering if his companions were having any better luck inside. So far, this job had been nothing but dead end after dead end even with the mediums help.

He yelled out in fright and fell backwards from where he’d been crouched down investigating the contents of some half rotted wooden crates. A tabby let out a string of equally shocked profanities as they bolted over the lip of one of the crates and through a gap in the fence lining one side of the alley- but not before taking an instinctual swipe.

“Sixty six.” He hissed as he clambered back to his feet, trying to maintain some semblance of dignity as the burning sting originating from the back of his hand started traveling up is arm – the leather gloves he’d removed in some misguided (pointless) attempt at keeping them clean mocked him from inside his pocket. They weren’t deep scratches at least, but that didn’t make them any less uncomfortable.

“Well, well. What do we have here?” A familiar voice sang out from right behind him.  Edwin levelled a glare downwards (because at this point, surely only someone or something from Hell could be responsible for how this day was going). He spun smartly on his heel to face the Cat King –  Thomas. Edwin had heard through the grapevine his name was Thomas - head on, expression artfully just the right side of annoyed and hands clasped behind his back. The other being was dressed in the same skirt and boots he’d worn on their first meeting, only this time paired with a ridiculously fluffy brown sweater Edwin would probably be coveting right now if he were capable of feeling the cold.

“Something you need?” Edwin drawled, hoping his bored tone would make Thomas take the hint and leave.

He merely grinned and arched an eyebrow in response, “Depends what you’re offering. No, I merely thought I’d drop in and say hi to my favourite ghostie and imagine my surprise when I turn up to see you getting down and dirty, routing through the garbage. Would have thought that was more your ‘best friends’ wheelhouse.”

 Edwin personally may not have used air quotes a day in his life (or death), but he’d seen Charles use them often enough to understand the implications the action created. “He’s currently searching elsewhere. With Crystal.”

“And not with you.” Thomas’ grin took on a sardonic edge, “Oh hoho! Trouble in paradise is it?”

Edwin didn’t reply, but he could do little to stop the twitch of his jaw which was apparently all the confirmation Thomas needed, “Bestie’s had his head turned and left you, quite literally, out in the cold. Ouch.”

“It was merely a matter of convenience.” Edwin snapped, “This case has given us absolutely nothing but trouble and the sooner we solve it, the sooner I can get back to counting your bloody cats and the sooner I can leave.”

Thomas raised both hands in mock surrender, “Ok, as you say. But just so you know, I’d never-” He trailed off, smile dropping as he leaned in closer to Edwin until the ghost was almost tempted to take a step back. Almost. “Why do you smell like you’re in pain?”

Edwin blinked in surprise, “Beg your pardon?”

“Pain. Where are you hurt?” Thomas asked, completely disregarding the opportunity to say something crass about what he’d rather Edwin beg for.

Edwin scoffed, “I assure you, I’m perfectly fine – hey! ” He spluttered as Thomas reached around and grabbed the wrist of his injured hand in a gentle but insistent grip.

“Don’t even try.” Thomas said flatly, levelling the ghost with an unimpressed look as he bought the hand around to inspect it.

“As I said. I’m fine, it’s nothing.” Edwin tried to focus on the shine of the others gold nail polish and not how gently he was turning Edwin’s hand this way and that for closer inspection.

“Aaaw!” He simpered, “Did one of mine leave you with an owwie?” His tone of voice may have been that of someone addressing a young child, but Edwin saw the real, unasked question in the hard glint of his slit-pupiled eyes.

Who?

“It was my fault, I startled them. I’m sure they didn’t mean it.”

“As am I.” Thomas said running warm fingertips gently over the red lines, “None of them would dare intentionally hurt what’s mine.”  He bent his head and pressed a lingering kiss directly on the injury.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing!?” Edwin demanded, snatching his hand away and silently berating himself for not doing so sooner.

“Just kissing it better, darling.” Thomas replied with a wink, “If you ever get bored of being an outdoor ghost, you know where to find me.”

A puff of purple smoke, followed by a fluffy brown tom cat strutting back out onto the main street and Edwin was once again alone.

“Absolute wazzock.” He muttered as he made to continue his hunting, unsure which of them exactly he was talking about and trying to convince himself that the dissipating pain where Thomas’ lips had been was just a figment of his imagination.

[actual-changeling]

my brain's kinda dead after therapy today but has anyone ever thought about when aziraphale started writing diaries?

in 1827 he says he is on volume 603. now, we COULD simply assume that he uses one diary per year, which would put our starting date in 1224. however, there's two things that bother me about that line of thinking. it is a very late time to start writing diaries considering that paper and writing have been around almost as long as he has plus over six hundred volumes - that's some fucking dedication right there. he LOVES books and thus probably loves preserving stories in general, so the second he heard of diaries being thing he started keeping one. or maybe he even invented them.

on top of that, crowley and aziraphale do not perceive time like we do, and after almost six thousand years memorable events have probably become a bit rarer.

which leads us back to the question of when he started documenting those events.

we have to entirely guesstimate this but let's say the average diary he uses has 200 pages (notebooks have a big variety of page numbers and this one's easy to work with) and he writes a minimum of one entry a month across 4 single pages. we see him NOT use the backside of a page and his handwriting is quite large.

but he probably doesn't always have an entire story to tell and we do have one other entry that really isn't very long (which can be found in the bonus section of episode 3).

so if we go with 4 pages per entry on average we'd have 50 entries per diary. divided by 12 makes around 4 years contained within one volume.

4 x 603 = 2412

1827 - 2412 = - 585

585 AD is pretty damn early and doesn't really ring a bell and that's when we use some very generous numbers and assume he writes a lot.

but.

what happens when we loosen up a little?

let's say he doesn't write 12 entries per year and that the average is less than 4 pages of writing - let's give him some more time to fill 603 volumes which. again. is quite a fucking lot and there is the very real question of where he keeps them and if crowley has seen them.

anyway. more time. paper around 3000 BC but also heaven and hell don't stick to human developments and crowley had paper in heaven.

have you guessed where i'm going with this yet?

tell me beloved tumblr bestie, do you remember the first time we get to see writing on paper that isn't celestial sketches on celestial paper?

if your answer is "job in 2500" then congrats, you won!

the conclusion to this rambling is that there's a good chance aziraphale started keeping a diary after the entire job incident. when he was exposed to earthly pleasure. when he had to start keeping track of what happened and what crowley did vs. what he SAID he did. when having a record like the god/satan contract became important.

however i want you to consider the funniest possible answer to the question "why did aziraphale start writing diaries" - he and crowley fucked and had incredibly mind blowing sex in that cellar and when aziraphale realised he had no one to talk to about it he sat down and invented diaries.

[science-lings]

Being annoying about each option under the cut

1- Ryunosuke has no other pictures of his bestie's face except for the one of his 'corpse' and that is Fucked Up, which is why I love it. this hc is based on the fact that during my playthrough I looked at the picture so many times bc I missed him immediately. Anyway 1-2 was the worst day of his life and the moment where he was given the photo for the first time really stuck with me.

2- They get to switch off being each other's judicial assistants and they both get to be different flavors of transmasc, I think it would be fun for them. Would they have to attend classes at Yumei to even be considered lawyers? who knows the point is they do it together and are like those cats that bond together and get sad when they get separated.

3- If they are in the same room together that sword is being switched back and forth several times, 'I think it matches your outfit today' or 'I'm on my period I shouldn't be in possession of a deadly weapon' or 'you said in the custody agreement that I get it on weekends' etc etc etc... Though it tends to go with Ryunosuke when they are separated for long periods of time. That sword is symbolic of so much gay shit in these games what's a little more.

4- my guy talks about 'the look' in Ryunosukes eyes so much during the last case, what are you looking into his eyes for? Heterosexual reasons? sure... (also 'fancy meeting you here' that is a pick-up line, you're in a prison, not a bar) Anyway his feelings towards Ryunosuke are complicated and he's so mad that at least one of the feelings in the emotional cocktail is something like attraction)

5- There's that disaster lesbian thing going on but also the situation was pretty stressful but one day she will wake up and it will hit her that her friend was still very interested in her even after she knew it was her in the disguise.

6- Sholmes keeps trying to refer to himself as 'the root of all evil' and how he's 'drawn to the darkness', he's trying so hard to be edgy but he's a six-foot-tall lanky blond man who is dramatic in the silly way and drapes himself over Ryunosuke at every opportunity. Either he's trying to build some kind of reputation or he wants to appeal to the local goth milf populace (Sithe and Tusspells) or even the reaper himself (there's some messy ex energy going on over there...)

7- I need Phoenix to inherit Karuma, he knows a bit about it but he doesn't make a big deal about it. He does have a few prosecutor friends who know the blade and are so annoyed that he's not super proud to own it. Also it's funny to me if the only family that Phoenix knows are a couple of victorian lawyers that haunt him. I think they should watch over him and be a little horrified. Ryunosuke was excited when he was intending to be a performing arts student as a fellow drama kid but it doesn't surprise him that he chose to become a lawyer. It's in his blood.

8- You cannot tell me Ryunosuke didn't want to fling himself off of that boat every night he was stuck in the room he thought Kazuma was killed in. He just didn't want to ruin Susatos trip to England by leaving her alone and he goes into a depression when she leaves for Japan, going so far as to avoid looking at the photo the 221b fam took before she left because it made him sad, which gets put up every time by Sholmes who Gets It. Meaning that he went up to the Naruhodo consulting agency regularly to check up on him. I like to think Sholmes was genuinely worried during the months he spent banned from the courtroom and without his weirdgirl who he bonded with through his best friends 'death'.

9- Wagahai is a good kitty, she can tell who the most depressed person in the building is and follows them around, sometimes Ryunosuke has a nightmare and wakes up with a cat right up by his face.

10- Ryunosuke starts the Naruhodo family tradition of not talking about their personal lives to people they care about and making their own little patchwork family for themselves. Practically all we know about his past is that he's afraid of doctors and studied English from a young age. And then like three months after going to a new country and meeting new people he's just like 'neat this is my family now :)' there is something going on there I swear. I have many conflicting ideas about what it could be specifically though.

[darklydeliciousdesires]

London Will Burn - Chapter Sixteen.

Here it is, besties. The final chapter. Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to read and offer such warm words of encouragement along the way. They mean the world to me! :)

Previous chapters - One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen

Tag list - In the comments, please DM to be added/removed

Words - 3,910

Warnings - 18+ content throughout. Minors DNI.

“So, where has the ginger twat taken my granddaughter today, then?” 

Rin closed her eyes, counting to ten in her head. “Woburn Safari Park. She told him how much she was missing all the animals back in Africa, so he said he’d take her to where she could see a few of the same.”  

It was becoming tiresome, her mother’s unchanged attitude regarding the father of her child. “Mum, you honestly have to stop being so hostile towards him. It shan’t be good, going forward, with him being in our lives to the extent that he will be. I’m not asking you to like him, but a little civility wouldn’t go amiss.”  

Diane was resolute, crispy turning the next page in the copy of Hello magazine before her on the island. “I will never be anything close to civil with that piece of shit.”  

This did not bode well. Not since she and Sean were... well, Rin wasn’t entirely sure what they were, exactly. Dating? Co-parenting with extras until he earned her trust? They’d been out a couple of times by that point, two dates the week before, one that had ended up in a sleepover at his place. Not that they’d slept much. God, he’d given her such a thorough shagging, she was still glowing from it four days on.  

Yes. It was dating, she had to admit that it was. Furthermore, she was enjoying every second of it, when her guard slipped enough for her to do so.  

“It’s a pity that you can’t put your own feelings aside for Tiger’s sake,” she spoke, continuing to do her stretches. She and Sokoro were off for a run, Rin glad to have a Saturday morning to herself to do it at a reasonable hour for once, enjoying a blissful lie in until 8am that morning as opposed to being out of the house by 6am.  

Her mother viewed her through shrewd eyes, cocking her head slightly. “Is it purely for Tiger’s sake, Catherine?” The slight colouring of her daughter’s cheeks sealed it, though Rin did not utter a single word. “Oh, for heaven’s sake! You’re not, are you? With him?” 

She was not in the mood for verbal combat that morning, but it looked like she was about to foray into it all the same. “I am, yes. I’m seeing how it goes with him. He’s genuinely sorry, mum, and I do see that. I need to get to a place of trust with him, though, and he told me he intends to prove himself there.” 

“But what he did to you!” 

“Is seven years in the past,” she interjected with, lifting her leg to the stool before her to tighten her shoelaces. “He would have absolutely nothing to gain from trying to be nefarious all over again. He has what he wants. I elevated him, made him rich and powerful once more, and he knows only too well what would happen to him, should he attempt to upset the apple cart. I do believe he is earnest, but I want to see if for myself.” 

Diane snorted, lifting her coffee cup to her lips. “I think you’re barmy.” 

“Yeah?” Lifting her chin, she pulled the laces sharply, double knotting the bow. “And I think, mum, with all the respect in the world, it’s none of your bloody business. Look how far I’ve come under my own merit and judgement. I am not an eighteen-year-old any longer who fell in love with a man she shouldn’t have, a man who had the agenda of his father pressing upon him. Finn is gone; it’s just Sean now. Believe me, he isn’t his dad.”  

“Wouldn’t have lost it all in the first place if he was.” Rin realised that she wasn’t going to get anywhere with her mother, so simply kissed her cheek and told her she’d be back later, heading out to find Sokoro in the courtyard, lightly jogging in place.  

“Let us depart now, eh, boss? Let’s run past the palace, wave to the King and Queen on our way!” Ever since arriving in London, her dear friend had been hellbent on getting a glimpse of the royal family. He’d scared a poor woman half to death one time while in Waitrose, asking very loudly if she was the Princess of Wales. She had not been, merely bearing a very uncanny resemblance to Princess Catherine. 

“So, I hear you and your mother having shouting's this morning before we leave, eh?”  

Having shouting’s. How she loved his turns of phrase. “We were, yes. We indeed had words with one another.”  

“Over the ging... over Sean, yes?”  

She liked that, that at least Sokoro was trying hard not to be hostile towards the father of her child, no matter how protective he was of her and Tiger. “Yes, over Sean. She’s very hardheaded, my mother. What kills me is the fact I think even my dad would have softened by now, and you know how ferocious he could be.” 

Sokoro raised his eyebrows, wiping his clammy forehead on the back of his arm. “Kevin was nothing if not a force to be reckoned with, eh?” Pausing as they turned the corner, beginning to run down The Mall approaching Buckingham Palace, he then continued. “But I do agree, eh, I think that he would see how much he has taken to the role of Tiger’s father and not condemn him as your mother does. He ah, he did say something to me, back when she was a baby.”  

Immediately, she slowed, jogging in place. “What?” 

Sokoro looked uncomfortable, like he wished he’d have thought on his last sentence prior to its delivery. “Ah, I should probably not say, eh. Even though he is gone, I do not want to betray your father’s confidentiality.” 

“Bollocks,” she spoke strongly, her eyes widened a fraction. “I’m here, he’s not. Tell me.” 

Sokoro shook his head, his own in place jogging coming to a halt. “Okay, okay. We break here. It has been five kilometres.” Moving to a bench at the side of The Mall, he took a seat, swigging from his bottle of water.  

“Your father, after Tiger was born, he pull me aside and he tell me all about it, how she came to be, how Sean betrayed you, etcetera. He tell me he was not only heartbroken for you because he know you love the man who got you pregnant despite what you tell him to the contrary, but because he always like Sean.  

“He tell me he see him as perfect suitor for you, before all the shit with the sex video, eh. He tell me that if he ever could see you with anyone, it was Sean Wallace, because you are both so similar. But he say most of all, he see you with him because Sean would never stop you from being who you are. We stood outside of the lodge and I remember, he say he wanted to tell him about the baby, because he thought it might change him for the better, make him a good man for you again, but he would not do that to you, not ever. But he say it, Catherine.”  

His words hit her square in the chest, the opinion her father held in secret. He’d wanted them to be together, but for the sake of her heart in all its damage done by Sean, never told anyone that other than Sokoro. It left her feeling like something was opening up within her, letting the light in to where she had been shadowed and jaded for the last seven years.  

Her father, as it happened, was not as hardened as she’d thought. He’d seen the true Sean too at some point. He’d known that the man he was, and the one he was moulded into by Finn were truly not the same person.  

“Did he say anything else?” she pressed with, Sokoro shrugging lightly. 

“He say he hate him for what he did to you, this is natural of course, eh. But he also say he know he put him between a rock and a hard place, and with the weight of Finn Wallace bearing down on him, he know, and I quote, “the kid cracked under the pressure, and made my Catherine the fall when I doubt he really wanted to.” I think your dad, he see the same you do in Sean. A man who did what he did so he did not sink under the greater weight.”  

It was hard to take in, the enormity of what Sokoro was telling her. Part of her wanted to shred him to pieces verbally for keeping it from her for so long, but most of her saw clearly that he was simply being a man of his word. Her father had shared his thoughts in secret with him, and Sokoro was nothing if not a bona fide confidant.  

In all of this, her father’s opinion was something she had desperately wished she could call upon, to know if she was doing the right thing. Now, she had it. It wasn’t first hand, but she knew now that should her dear dad have still been with them, he’d have likely welcomed her and Sean finding a way back to one another. 

“Are you okay?”  

Sokoro’s question roused her from the daze she’d fallen into, Rin shaking herself with a small smile as she turned to him. “I am, you know. I really am.” 

“Come on, let us continue. I feel Queen Camilla at the windows waiting for my jolly smile and wave!” He nudged her with a soft elbow as she got up, laughing and sipping her water before on they continued towards the palace. Their jog landed them back at Mulford Hall just before 10:30am, both immediately heading upstairs to take a shower each, Rin returning to hear the usual Kenyan merriment in the kitchen. 

“What are you lot giggling about?” she asked, moving to the fridge to get out some fruit and yogurt, Sokoro, Marcus and Silas all sitting around the island, huge grins fixed in place. 

“We are discussing the slang of your motherland, boss,” Marcus spoke, still partially hissing with laughter. “We see on Twitter somebody call Donald Trump a fuck billed twattypus and we all say, it could have been you! It sounds like something you say!” 

“We learn so many British cusses from you. Knob, shit bag, twat, bloody fucking bastard,” Silas then weighed in with, counting them off on his fingers as he chuckled with glee.  

“Or when she call you twat waffles and you thought it is some kind of British breakfast cereal,” Sokoro chimed, Marcus waving his hands in dismissal as the men roared.  

“It sounds like it, though! I had no idea that twat was slang for the female anatomy until we met Catherine!” he laughed, Rin in absolute stitches as she closed the fridge door. They kept her entertained as she went about preparing her breakfast, Sokoro sorting himself and the other guys with gigantic vegetable omelettes and toast.  

With a day to herself, she decided to relax before her masseuse arrived, Jenna giving her a much-needed rub down and easing of tension from her locked up back, several knots clicking and cracking under her expert hands. It was a day of pure bliss, her child not arriving back until 7pm, Sean stating that he was also taking her to the museum and out for dinner as well, carrying a very sleepy Tiger into the house. He looked completely shattered himself.  

“I’ll take her,” Diane bustled coldly, fixing him with a glare. No, Rin’s words hadn’t sunk in any further. Luckily, Sean didn’t react with any negativity whatsoever. 

“Thank you, Diane. It’s nice to see you again, you’re looking very well.”  

She turned away from him, her lips slightly pursed. “I wish I could say the same.”  

He winced. “Ouch.”  

Rin reached for his face, giving him a kiss. “Maybe one day she might finally thaw.” While he expected as much from her mother, he did note that Rin seemed to be behaving more freely with him, making the first move to offer affection. “So, did you and our baby have a good day?”  

Right on cue, he yawned. “A tiring one. I’ve been up since 5am, she decided she couldn’t sleep so we took Butch for a walk for an hour, one I ended up carrying her on my back for half of before dropping him off with Minnie for the day.” Hugging her, he rested his chin on her head, Rin laughing softly at the fake snoring noises he began making. “She has abundant energy, though. I don’t know how you cope full time.” 

Emerging from beneath his chin, she smoothed her hands down his chest. “I’m used to it, as you’ll become, too. Can I get you a coffee before you fall asleep on me?” 

He nodded, kissing her forehead. “Please.”  

“Alright, go and rest your weary bones.” He moved to the sitting room and she the kitchen, taking a seat on the sofa and beginning to browse his phone. It might have been a Saturday night, he might have been shattered, but he had a few work-related emails he needed to at least check in with, planning on putting in some time the following morning in his office at home to be nicely ahead for the coming working week.  

“Oh, you’re here.” Looking up, he met the narrowed eyes of Diane, the matriarch of the Cavanaugh household taking a seat on the adjacent sofa, eyeing him with her usual level of distain. 

“Hello again, Diane,” he smiled, attempting to at least be cordial with the woman. The truth was, he had little to no issue with her, but goodness, she certainly gripped tightly upon the grudge she held towards him. “How are you?” 

“I’d be much better if you weren’t here.”  

He expected little less than such hostility, but knew he couldn’t meet it like for like. “I understand that, I do. I will be here, though, in your lives. Your daughter and granddaughter are very important to me.” 

She picked up a copy of Tatler magazine from the coffee table, huffing as the pages were flicked through with mild irritation. “Until the next chance to use her in your quest for power presents itself. Men like you don’t change, Sean.”  

He felt his temper flicker into life, the corner of his mouth twitching. He wouldn’t let her spark it into roaring flame, though. She was probably trying deliberately to wheedle such a response from him, purely so she could point her finger. “As I explained to Catherine, I am in no position to do that. Your daughter has elevated me to my former status, more so, in fact. I have my company, I have my standing, and I have a hell of a lucrative income because of her. I don’t truly have what I want the most, though. Trust me, fucking her over would not be conducive to me attaining it.” 

“Oh, wouldn’t it?” she spoke, each word biting in its chilly delivery.  

“No,” he spoke with a shrug, his smile widening, “because what I want most is her. I love your daughter, perhaps the most honestly and genuinely I have ever loved anyone. Trust me, my intentions towards her are not what you assume them to be. Far from it.” 

He didn’t know, but out in the corridor, Rin stood, coffee in hand, grinning like an idiot to hear him coolly standing up to her mother. She might have known it already, but hearing him state that what he wanted most was her almost provoked a squeak of pure joy.  

“Well, I shan’t be doing that any time soon, Sean,” she bustled, just as Rin walked in. 

“That’s up to you, I suppose,” he replied, taking the coffee from Rin. “Thank you, darling. I think I might need three more just to stay awake. So, are you still coming with me when I go back up to Manchester on Thursday? We could take Tiger too, make a weekend of it once I am done with Friday’s meetings. We could take her to the art gallery, with her flair for the artistic I’m sure she’d enjoy it.” 

She beamed widely. “Yes, great idea, I’d love to. It’ll mean getting her out of her pit early, I suppose. I was surprised you told me she’s been up since five this morning, that child loves her kip.” 

“Isn’t this all so very cosy,” Diane muttered sarcastically, shaking her head. “Forgetting conveniently what that vile shit of a man did to you.” 

Rin’s hand clenched into a fist where she rested it upon Sean’s thigh, her eyebrows knitting as she sighed. “Which is a mistake he both admits and apologises for, mum. I’ve let it go. You need to as well.” 

“I can’t! Not when...” she began, the Tatler magazine cast aside. She didn’t get very far in her retort, though.  

“Enough, mum,” her daughter spoke, with quiet firmness as she stared at her. “That’s seriously enough, now. I’m sick of dealing with your attitude. What happens between Sean and I is honestly none of your business, and I am fucking tired of you making it just that. This is my life, you need to but out and stop treating me like a child. That’s the end of it. Sean, come on. Let's move locations.”  

He stood gladly, taking his coffee and following her out without further word, Diane sitting there floundering at being shot down so efficiently by her eldest child. “We both stood our ground with her, and didn’t raise our voices once,” he observed, moving up the grand staircase beside her, pausing to gulp back a little more coffee, save it spilling and Diane becoming furtherly vexed towards him.  

Rin raised her eyebrows. “We must be growing up, at last.” Arriving in her bedroom, she swung the door open, walking through to where she’d had a little bit of a makeover of the large room, the former section dedicated to her desk and workout items over at the far side by her window now containing a small sofa and television set on the mantle above the fireplace. The space most definitely had more of a grown up feel to it than it had when Sean had been in there last. 

Sitting down beside her, he finished his coffee while they chatted on how best to handle her mother, both agreeing to be staunch without rising to her need to argue the toss constantly. The coffee was sadly no match for his tiredness, though, Sean waking with a start hours later to darkness, finding himself draped in a comfortable throw. The bed his sleeping love occupied looked much more comfortable.  

“I was wondering if I’d have a companion at some point,” she murmured, turning to cuddle up to his nakedness after he’d undressed and gotten under the covers. “What time is it?” 

“Half past two. I’d say time to go back to sleep, but I’m wide awake.” 

She grinned into the darkness as his hands felt their way to her, pulling her even closer, lifting her leg to rest over his hip. “Mmm,” she hummed, feeling the hard of his cock press against her abdomen. “Yes, you definitely are, aren’t you?” Her hand reached between them, curling around his cock, working him lazily as she felt the sleepiness slipping away, ducking her head to begin placing hot, open-mouthed kisses upon his neck.  

He lay there in a daze of sexual fog clouding him for a few moments, enjoying the feeling of what her hand evoked within before his own reached for her, stroking her softly, feeling her begin to dampen his fingers. Pushing them inside her, his mouth then founds hers, her teeth crushing a soft bite upon his lower lip. Those kisses, all sugared embers and need, began to gain rapid heat, hands working upon one another with more vigour until Sean turned her, slotting himself between her legs and arrowing into her fully with one fluid motion. 

She swallowed back his moans as their tongues swirled, her groin prickling pleasantly, nerve endings singing their bliss against the thick swell of his cock as he dragged her walls deftly. It was heavenly, wet velvet softly flexing around hot steel, their veins warming, Rin crying out softly at feeling him burying himself within her again and again.   

With his mouth at her neck, consuming her with such all-encompassing force, all that existed was him, that moment, the sound of his groans in her ear as his tongue glided across the column of her throat. Him, just him. He was all she wanted, and to hell with what her mother thought of that. 

Trembling against the lean bulk of his chest, the lightning bounced beneath her skin, the weight of him centring, driving himself into her plush wetness, causing moans she barely recognised to be hers. How she had longed for a lover with this kind of skill while they’d been parted, but beneath him there in her bed, she realised she could look forever but never find in a single other person what she had with Sean. 

His hips arrowed down purposefully, giving way to a slight rotation that had her floating in the stars, her fingers raking through his hair as she arched up against him, teeth nipping his thick shoulder as her nails grazed his back, digging in and clawing when he began to gain momentum.   

She was molten beneath him, singed by the wildfire of his fuck, her walls beginning to flutter around him as his soaking cock pounded her hard, mouth lowering to suck at her nipples, making her come apart beneath him with surging force, Sean coming just moments after her.  

They fell asleep that night entangled, swathed in the blanket of one another, Rin awaking early the following morning. The sunlight streamed in, the sound of the Westminster bells softly tolling, yawning as she stretched. Looking up, she was greeted by the sight of smiling blue eyes, shifting up a little to place a soft kiss upon his lips.  

There they were again, just as they had been seven years before. Sunday morning, bell song and sunshine.  

“I love you.”  

He smiled, kissing the tip of her nose. “Finally.”  

Finally, indeed.  

Finally, they had everything they’d been looking for. Finally, they had love and peace, and finally, although it took her almost two years after that morning to see that Sean was entirely genuine, they had Diane’s support. After all, the mother of the bride couldn’t very well have a sour face on at the wedding of her eldest daughter. Not after she’d bared witness to seeing just how happy the man waiting for her at the altar had truly made her.  

In fact, Diane’s tears of joy as they were pronounced husband and wife were the greatest of all the guests, watching Rin held tightly by her new husband, and the complete and utter adoration they viewed one another with. Neither noticed it, though, lost in one another as they kissed, Sean stroking her face with his thumbs as he rested his forehead to hers, repeating the word he had spoken two years prior, when they had truly reconnected. 

“Finally.” 

The End.  

[alonetimelover]

Action! - 2023 - Social Media

Pairings: Director!Reader x Joseph Quinn (+Ex!Harry Styles)

Warnings: swearing, some angst in comments(?)

Summary: Harry unexpectedly releases a new album. Fans are shocked. Twitter is in flames. A small restaurant in London becomes a gossip place. New beginning.

Side note: The album is made of songs by Joji, Bruno Major, Giveon and Lewis Capaldi.

Also it was supposed to have a written blurb within, but it already has 3k words. Just let me know if you want to read about Joe listening to the album and the confrontation.

check out this series SM posts! part1 part2 part3 part4 part5

series masterlist feedback

Part based on a message I got from @little-freak-satellite. thank you and I hope you enjoy it!

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harrystyles

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by harryupdates, harrysmoustache, hArrysbtch, harryshoee and 19 192 828 others

harrystyles •1133•27192• my new album is OUT AT MIDNIGHT

view all 483 392 comments

hArrysbtch im sorry sir- YOUVE BEEN GONE FOR MONTHS AND NOW YOURE COMING BACK WITH A WHOLE NEW ALBUM- WITHOUT A WARNING???? WTF MAN

harrysmoustache excuse me???? i- speechless

harryupdates another sleepless night, thank you, harry!

ynupdates oh... i have a bad feeling

⤷ ynsmybestie i do too, i hope it's nothing too bad

⤷ ynshands besties.... you think he wrote a whole album for her (again)?

⤷ ynsmybestie probably. look at the artwork. his hand is real and has a shadow. the other one is only a shadow. this person is probably no longer with him, just like yn

⤷ ynshands noooo, im not ready to cry 😓

⤷ ynsmymama i did a quick calculation and, well, 1133 days are 27192 hours, it's about 3 years and a month...

⤷ ynshands youre kidding! the time they were in a relationship is an album title?????

⤷ ynsmybestie oh god, he really hasn't moved on

annetwist ❤️

harryshoee ehmm, are you okay??

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harryupdates

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by ynupdates hArrysbtch, harrysmoustache, harrysmylife and 10 182 others

harryupdates Like you all know Harry announced today his newest album - 1133 27192. His website also got an update - after it loads on your computer for a split second one of 13 photos is shown. Each photo can be seen only once on an individual IP address. Those photos are the ones that got caught by fans.

1133 27192 out at midnight. Pre-save it on Apple Music and Spotify now!

view all 2 028 comments

ynupdates this is so fucked up... harry, what are you doing...

ynshands he used the photos we've never seen of them???? wtf, harry. wtf

ynsmybestie im ready to fight him. yn just got married two months ago, and had her first baby and he's pulling this shit??? nah, man. not with me those tricks

ynshands im just wondering if there wasn't even one person on his team that said 'Harry, its a little too far' BECAUSE IT IS TOO FUCKING FAR!!!

harrysmoustache well, i cant keep defending you, harry

harryshoee at least these are some nice photos! 😬

user182 isn't that an invasion of privacy?

joeandynfann im wondering what joe's thinking of it

⤷ ynshands this poor man. he's a new dad, has a wonderful wife, and needs to somehow deal with her unrestrained ex

⤷ ynsmybestie i feel so bad for him. if i were him, i would probably not last with yn. he loves her so much 🫠

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twitter

yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 2h

you remember me from Harry's house breakdown? well, the 'numbers' album dropped almost six hours ago and let me tell you... i've listened to it 5 times already, cried my eyes out - im dehydrated. but...this album is just for, about and everything YN so i have to do a breakdown (1)

16k comments 💬 80k shares 🔃 201k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornorbabe 2h

1. she chose me: it's the easy one - song that didn't make it to Fine Line (Harry's house too). just harry not comprehending how YN could love him. 'Why was it I and nobody else? The most beautiful girl that I'd ever seen And she chose me' (2)

14k comments 💬 65k shares 🔃 193k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 2h

2. tapestry: through the first listen - this was the song that firstly made me cry. it's basically harry's response to champagne problems (that i BET is a story about how yn rejected his proposals). in champagne problems there is a line 'you'll find the real thing instead, she'll patch up your tapestry that i shread'. and harry's responding yn with 'you'll always be a part of my tapestry' meaning - without you, no one will patch up this tapestry - his life. ALSO it's a second on the album, just like champagne problems is. (3)

17k comments 💬 15k shares 🔃 65k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 2h

3. nothing: again a song that didn't make it to Fine Line (either Harry's house) 'there is nothing like doing nothing with you' (4)

11k comments 💬 12k shares 🔃 57k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 2h

4. pointless: ehh, this is a song where harry is in denial, i think. he's singing about how well yn and he know, love and cherish each other. 'i'll wait for you, you'll wait for me too' is repeated throughout the whole song until the actual end - when he realises the truth 'of all the things I'm chasing, there's only one I choose, everything is pointless without you'. (5)

15k comments 💬 14k shares 🔃 57k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 2h

5. feeling like the end: i think he wrote this song while being angry, quite blaming yn for what had happened between them 'you used to promise me it would be forever, feeling like the end, don't think it will get better' (6)

13k comments 💬 16k shares 🔃 60k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 2h

6. unholy matrimony: CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS CONFIRMED! harry did propose to yn, she rejected him - break up. but this song is more or less a hypothetical turn of events if she accepted engagement. 'now i know we'll never know what happens when our love just ain't the same no more' - maybe it would be different if their love stayed the same. 'our love story's ended way too soon, you're supposed to love to the tomb' and also 'love will give you what you need but also take what you don't appreciate' (7)

14k comments 💬 17k shares 🔃 62k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 2h

7. before the day is over: i think it made be the first song he wrote after the reality kicked in - yn was not his anymore, he wasn't hers; but he was still hoping she would call, text. 'say something soon, we might lose it all'. and then 'i can't take another day, i could go insane, there's only so much i can take' he deep down knew it was ultimate end, no turning back, no 'saying something soon'. (8)

16k comments 💬 16k shares 🔃 61k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 2h

8. die for you: song about harry getting to know about yn and joe being together. 'i heard that you're happy without me, and i hope it's true' 'i hope you're getting everything you needed' when he is 'not the same without your head on my shoulder' 'and it's true i need you here closer'. yn being happy is killing him but 'that's okay 'cause i'd still die for you'. and they're not friends because 'only time we speak is in my dreams' im crying again... (9)

19k comments 💬 15k shares 🔃 65k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 1h

9. glimpse of us: BE AWARE ! WATERFALL OF TEARS ! harry has/had a new woman, she's perfect but he still wishes it was yn - because 'sometimes when i look into her eyes, and that's where i found a glimpse of us'. he's a dick. because that lovely woman is his rebound. and then this man is crossing a line, ladies, gentleman and non-binary folks - 'maybe one day you'll feel lonely and in his eyes you'll get a glimpse, maybe you'll start slipping slowly and find me again' THE NERVE ?! im so angry but im crying so much as well (10)

21k comments 💬 19k shares 🔃 71k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 1h

10. dissolve: here he knows that it was a dick move in glimpse of us, he sings 'who the hell am I to think you're my angel from above? it's not right' BRAVO, it's not, harry. and then again 'you got the life you always wanted, please don't leave me behind'. he can't stand yn being happy with joe (11)

15k comments 💬 17k shares 🔃 64k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 1h

11. heartbreak anniversary: so, after using my math skills i calculated when the heartbreak happened. it was around 3rd of July 2020 - around the same day and month in 2023 yn's pregnancy got revealed. i think (i'm certain) this song is a product of harry getting the news. (12)

13k comments 💬 18k shares 🔃 68k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 1h

12. to let a good thing die: it feels like a warning harry gives us, 'life isn't like a movie, but it sure will make you cry'. it also feels like harry's telling us about what that 'good thing' did to him, he wants to prevent us from that pain. ending the song with 'stop wishing for forever, 'cause nothing ever lasts, if it's keeping you from sleeping wipe the tear from you eye, 'cause sometimes, it's time to let a good thing die.' it's not a healthy advice but harry doesn't know any other, heartbreak consuming him still. (13)

16k comments 💬 19k shares 🔃 70k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 1h

13. the most beautiful thing: it might be a song where harry's saying that he's over yn. i don't believe it. in 'she chose me' he calls yn 'the most beautiful girl' and here he's singing 'the most beautiful thing that i have never seen'. maybe he wants something new, maybe his over yn, but considering he released 12 songs saying how much he still loves her, i don't buy this 'i'm over you' bullshit, a a (14)

18k comments 💬 16k shares 🔃 69k likes ❤️

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harrysbtch @iheartharryandyn 1h

i cried so much while listening to this album. and i still haven't stopped listening. he's voice - so heartbroken, hoarse and low???

1k comments 💬 0,4k shares 🔃 3k likes ❤️

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joseph my love @joemyman 1h

it's a beautiful album but i feel so sorry for joe, he hasn't got a day in peace since starting a relationship with yn

2k comments 💬 0,9k shares 🔃 5k likes ❤️

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yn the queen @ynmyqueenandsaviour 1h

@joemyman i just hope he and yn just haven't listened to it yet and don't plan to. it's really too much to handle, i think. especially with having a little baby under your roof.

2,3k comments 💬 1,1k shares 🔃 5,6k likes ❤️

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Instagram

joeandynupdates

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by ynupdates, harrysmoustache, harrysupdates, ynsmybestie and 8 292 others

joeandynupdates Joe this morning at the London café! The person that took the photo said that Joe was checking his phone constantly, getting visibly upset by something.

Just let me remind you that it's been just about 9 hours since Harry dropped another album about YN.

credit: josephmyman

view all 1 920 comments

ynupdates i hope it wasn't the moment he got the news about the album...

hArrysbtch i still have hope that Harry had contacted YN before releasing the album... i know, i am naive

harrysupdates please tell me no one was bothering this kind human being

⤷ josephmyman so hi! im the one that took the photo. After that, i politely walked up to him to just say hello and literally praise his work. he was soooo kind and lovely, so smily. he refused a photo ('so sorry, love') but propose a hug and to sign something for me. i was more than happy!

⤷ ynsmybestie do you know if him and yn know about the album?

⤷ josephmyman im more than certain. his phone was on the table and from the corner of my eye, i saw IG opened with a post about THAT album. he also smirked at my t-shirt (unfortunately i had a tee with harry's photo with the text 'that's my man' on it)

⤷ ynshands id love to see joe's face 💀

eddiesbaby dad life treating him well, look at this man 🤤

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yourinstagram

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by josephquinn, taylorswift, florencepugh, tchalamet, ynupdates, hArrysbtch and 11 028 383 others

yourinstagram meeting granny and papa for the first time 🩷 (I'm afraid i'm gonna turn into an instagram mum...)

view all 583 291 comments

josephquinn best nannies in the world

⤷ florencepugh excuse me?

⤷ taylorswift excuse me?

⤷ tchalamet excuse me?

⤷ yourbestfriend excuse me?

florencepugh little Mae my love 🥰

tchalamet THAT'S MY GODDAUGHTER!!! 👶

taylorswift look at her holding her head without a problem! she's growing up so quick 😭

⤷ yourinstagram don't, tay. i cried today because she has two times more hair than a few days ago...

ynshands her name is Mae???? it's so beautiful !!!!

⤷ ynsmybestie i think it's a nickname

⤷ ynsmymama what if its Maeve??? it matches and its from Irish mythology that yn likes so much

⤷ hArrysbtch yes!!! i agree! Maeve was a warrior queen!

harrysmoustache look at you being unbothered, Queen behaviour!!!!

harryupdates beautiful family! 😍

harrysmylife i think she still doesn't know about the album...

⤷ joemyman you think joe didn't tell her?

⤷ harrysmylife I mean... if I were joe, i wouldn't tell her

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ynupdates

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by harryupdates, ynsmybestie, joeandynfann, ynshands and 28 293 others

ynupdates HARRY, YN AND JOSEPH WERE SPOTTED AT THE REASTAURANT TOGETHER !!!!

There is no information of where it was on who got the photo.

view all 6 293 comments

ynshands what in a matrix just happened?????

ynshands excuse me?????

ynshands im so confused i- WHAT?!

ynshands wtf

harrysmoustache jeixhejisjdjdiis you're kidding!!!!! its not real

hArrysbtch what in the fuck is going on???? is it real? is it photoshop? are the fans lying??? maybe it was someone else? not yn and joe? whaaaaat

joeandynfann this is so random

user492 is this some kind of pr move? why are they meeting in public?

⤷ ynsmybestie i may be wrong but I can't imagine yn inviting harry to her and Joe's home. and neither going to harry's house where they made so many memories

⤷ user492 it makes sense

⤷ user917 but why not some low-key restaurant?

⤷ ynsmymama tmz uploaded a video of them leaving. it's literally some small restaurant outside of London. there were just a few people there.

ynshands i calmed down, do we know more about it??

⤷ ynsmybestie well, apparently it was all about the album. a person that got the photo also recorded them. tmz has it on its website

harrysupdates oh, that's so strange

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tmz

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by harrysmoustache, ynsmybestie and 293 292 others

tmz "Well, it's not only about you. Not everything is. She didn't have a say in it. You did it behind her back. The least you can do now is apologise. And I don't think your proud ass can do that." Those were some of the words that Harry Styles (29) heard from his ex-girlfriend - YN YSN - husband - Joseph Quinn (29). The actor didn't hold back with words towards the pop star and neither did YN - just calmer. To listen to their conversation go to the link in our bio!

view all 27 292 comments

harrysmoustache "You know how much it hurt to have my, our photos out there without permission. You said you felt the same. And now, you're reliving the past. But I'm the only one just off the boat. You betrayed all my trust, even the last strands of it that I've had." Oh man. it feels so wrong to listen to it, buuut tea 🍵 yn said what needed to be said

hArrysbtch "Man, I'm not asking you to do anything for me or because of me. I know you hate me, and if I'm being honest you're not my favourite person on the planet either, but if what you sing and write is true about YN, do it for her. For the last three years, she didn't catch a break. You're everywhere and it's tiring. You're a famous one, so you really can just stop this. For her." JOSEPH YOURE THE MAN I LOVE. LET ME GET ON MY KNEES.

ynsmybestie "Talk with Anne and Gemma. They know you like nobody else, they're there for you. Just, just get better, Harry. All of this is consuming you. You deserve better than still hanging on something that is no longer there." she still cares. she still is giving him advice. 😭

harrysmylife "I really am sorry, YN. Please tell Joseph. I regret, I regret what I did. I know it looks like a PR move. It wasn't. I just was a prick, did it for myself, for private benefit. I'm sorry for affecting you and your family, again. I'm so sorry, darling." HE SLIPPED THE PET NAME. HARRY YOU SIMP, OH GOD

harrysupdates i literally hate the person that recorded them

ynshands does the person that recorded know its illegal???

ynsmymama you're sick for uploading it! it was a private conversation!

⤷user396 they were in public. should've stayed at home.

⤷ ynsmymama just because it was at the restaurant, doesn't mean they had the right to record.

ynshands oh Harry... thank god Joseph is a nobleman and didn't beat your ass up. I wouldn't blame him. I'd beat you up if you were saying all this about MY WIFE

joeandynfann I can't believe im the only one drooling over joe smoking????? he looks so hot

⤷ ynshands it is!! but didn't he quit (because of becoming a dad)?

⤷ joemyman he did say that. maybe because of all the stress he just needed one?

joesupdates also joseph didn't say half of the things that are in your caption. why are you trying to put him in a bad light?

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esquire

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by yourinstagram, ynupdates, ynsmybestie, joeandynfann, joesupdates and 2 201 910 others

esquire "They are my whole world. There is nothing I wouldn't do for them. Being a husband and a father are the best things that happened to me in 2023 or my life. I'm just so happy with having met YN those four years ago. Without her, I really don't know who I'd be." says Joseph Quinn, this year's last front page star. To read the whole article click the link in bio, or buy the paper magazine!

photographed by yourinstagram

styled by yourinstagram

view all 102 392 comments

ynupdates "I don't want to comment on that. It has enough attention, in my mind. I'd just wish it all went differently. Preferably without affecting my wife this badly." I knew that YN wouldn't take that album slightly...

ynshands "My wife is, how can I say it without talking for hours? She's special. Too good for this world. My best friend, my love, the mother of our beautiful daughter. She went through so much the last few years, I still am in awe. She's the strongest woman I know." crying....

ynsmybestie "It's scary to have a child. That little baby's counting on you with their life. It's- it's absolutely terrifying. But seeing her grow so quickly, learn and just be happy with the world is super exciting." Maeve, baby, can I borrow your daddy for a day or two???

joemyman lookin good dad

yourinstagram is he single???

⤷ josephquinn nope. i have a wife, lady.

⤷ yourinstagram damn it!

florencepugh dad life is paying of, joseph

ynsmymama b e a u t i f u l man

harryupdates he's so in love with yn. it's lovely to see!

hArrysbtch happy to see them happy besides all the drama

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harrystyles stopped following yourinstagram

you deleted the number: yn🌻

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text messages between Harry and Anne

mum🩷

i did it. i'm starting fresh.

[jaxteller87]

Where I Need to Be

 had just pulled into the clubhouse after returning from New York to see how everyone’s been. It’s been six months since my parents passed away, and I was feeling particularly down about it. I wanted to stop by to check in on the boys, but more specifically, I wanted to see how Teller was doing. Even though we weren’t dating the whole time I was in NY, I was hoping to spend some time with him dor the few days I was in Charming. When I wheeled into the clubhouse, it was wrecked. They must have had some hell of a party. I made my way past all the garbage, hung over hang-arounds, and knocked on the dorm door. Receiving no answer, I gently pushed it open.

There, I saw my best friend in bed, lighting a cigarette. I looked over to the bathroom and saw Ima standing in the doorway, tits out, with a smile playing on her lips. “Good morning,” she smirked. I looked back at Jax, and I felt the room start to spin. I felt nauseous and dizzy, but of all things, I felt like I was in the right place at the wrong time.

“Well, I’ll leave you guys to whatever it is you were doing,” I said. I meant to simply shut the door, but I put a little too much mustard on it and slammed it instead. I didn’t care, though; I just rolled back out to the bar where Tig was.

“Well, hello there, babydoll; good to see you,” he looked like shit, but Tig usually did when he was surrounded by a dozen Coronoa’s at 1 PM on a Wednesday.

“Hey, Tiggy.”

“What are you drinking, doll face?” he asked, brushing off the table, clearing it of cigarette buts, ashes, peanut shells, and some mysterious fluids I hoped were spilled beer.

“Coke with lime, please,” I smiled and rolled up to the table.

“Did you know Jax was with Ima?” I asked curiously as Tig reached over the bar to grab my drink from the mini-fridge.

“What? He was?”  Tig was a shit liar, and I heard it in his tone before I even had to look in his eyes.

“He did what?” Donna shouted from behind us. I didn’t even know she was there, nor did I hear her come in.

“Yup. I walked into the aftermath a few minutes ago. I opened the door to the dorm room, and there they were.”

“Damn. I’m sorry, bestie,” Donna sat down beside me, “I guess I knew too. Opie said something about it last night, but there was alcohol involved, and I thought he was just talking nonsense. That’s usually all he ever finds at the bottom of the bottle.”

“Well, we all know what Jax found at the bottom of his bottle,” I quipped, “And if you go look, I bet you she’s still in his room getting dressed.”

“Are you okay?” Donna whispered in my ear.

I rested my head on her shoulder. “No, not really,” I whispered back.

Just then, Ima came walking down the hall with the smuggest of smiles. If I could have lept out of my wheelchair to kick her ass, I would have. I think Donna wanted to beat her ass too, but for the sake of keeping it civil, at least for the moment, she just glanced at her with the devil’s eyes.

“If looks could kill,” I heard one of the boys say from the half-packed clubhouse.

I had no right to be angry. We aren’t together anymore, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t sting a little. I don’t know what I expected out of him either; I mean, just because I wasn’t out and about spreading my legs didn’t mean he couldn’t do what he did with— with her. Even thinking her name made me want to throw up in my mouth.

“We could go slash her tires,” Donna whispered.

“Hey, let’s fight nicely, ladies. Keep it to hair pulling and slapping,” Tig winked. “I can get the kiddie pool out of the storage shed, and we can fill it with Jello or pudding, your choice.”

“You’re gross. Has anyone ever told you that?” Donna winced.

“Not today, but it’s early,” Tig blew her a kiss and then went back to his own little world, letting us to our conversation.

“Donna, we aren’t together. He can sleep with whoever he wants,” I dipped my finger into my soda and stirred it around, a clear sign I was feeling overly anxious about the whole ordeal.

“I know, but it’s Ima. He knows better than this,” Donna said. “I love Jax, and I don’t think this was personal, but you really got to think, sweetheart—”

“What’s that?” I asked, sipping my drink.

“He could have any girl, and the ones he can’t have, he could probably find a way to get. Why Ima? Why did he fuck the only one that you’d give a shit about?”

That was true; it did really hurt, but at the same time, I don’t think I would have liked to walk in on him with anyone. I was perfectly fine with the illusion that neither of us was hooking up with anyone else, but I wasn’t ready to do the math right now.

 A few minutes later, Opie walked back the hall, I’m guessing to get Jax. They were only gone a moment before they both came out. Jax looked like he had just gotten out of the shower, and Opie gave Donna and me a little side-eye. I couldn’t tell if he was saying, ‘Have at it’ or ‘Go easy on him,’ but the truth was, I wasn’t looking for a fight. Jax came over and pulled a chair up between Donna and me and sat on it backward like all the teenagers do. He had a shameful, disgusted look on his face, but I couldn’t tell if it was because he felt guilty or if it was the fact that I caught him in the act.

“Hey, how have—”

SLAP!

 Without missing a beat, Donna whacked him upside his head. “Please, for the love of all that’s holy, Teller, tell me you put a hat on little Jax before you jumped into that cesspool,” she said loud enough to garner a look and a scoff from Ima, who was now sitting with two prospects.

“Ow! Christ, Donna! I was horny, I didn’t have a death wish!” he responded. Ima heard that, too, and her mouth dropped to the floor. It was funny, and I smirked, but I didn’t laugh.

Jax looked up at me with those puppy dog eyes and a disappointed look on his face. “Sorry, you walked in on that. Everyone was drinking last night, and honestly, it was a hole in the dark before I realized who it was. Not that it makes it right, but I don’t want you thinking there was a deeper meaning behind it.”

I wasn’t sure if that made me feel better or worse. Just a hole in the dark? Maybe guys just go through it differently than girls. Although, I knew Jax long enough to know when he was full of shit, and this was not one of those times. “Hey, we’re not together anymore. You can sleep with whoever you want.”

Next thing I knew, the two prospects sitting with the queen of the crows had started fist-fighting each other, a scuffle fueled by Ima, no less. Needless to say, Jax had to deal with it, and that was pretty much it.

Later on that evening, I ended up at Jax’s place. I don’t really remember how I got here, but it started with heading out to the park with Donna and Ope. They got hungry so we stopped for burgers, and low and behold, I now found myself sitting on Jax’s porch. Ope had a surprise for Donna and said I could go along if I wanted, but I didn’t want to be a third wheel. Plus, I think they kind of wanted to get Jax and me together to talk about what happened earlier. These two red birds showed up shortly after I got here, and I’ve been infatuated with them while I replayed the past few months in my head. 

“You’re the only face I see,” Teller said, bringing me out of my thoughts.

“Huh?” I said, confused.

“When I’m with someone, you’re the only face I see,” he clarified. “I need you here. This is where you need to be!”

I just rolled my eyes, “Yeah, I’m sure.” I started to lead my chair inside, and he followed right behind, helping me get my wheels over the door ledge. “I can do it, but thanks.”

“I’m not even going to try to explain myself because I already said what it was. I was drunk and stupid, and she was willing and easy.”

“I get it. You don’t need to say shit, really. You’re a big boy, and you can do big-boy stuff with whoever you want. I’m not sure if it would have made a difference, but I just can’t bear the fact that it was Ima. Fuckin Ima, Jax! Maybe I don’t want to see you fucking anybody, or maybe I just don’t want to see you fucking anybody but me, but of all the crows in the nest you got with Ima!” I yelled. I can’t believe I just told him I didn’t want to see him fuck anyone but me.

Before I knew it, he had my face sandwiched between in his hand, and he was kissing me like we were the lead roles in a romance movie, and this was our big, sappy ending. In the heat of the moment, I dug my fingers into the chest of his shirt and ripped it off his body.

“I’ll buy you a new shirt, I promise.”

“I don’t care about the damn shirt!” he said, helping me out of my pants.

A little while later, we were both lying on the floor, all cuddled up. I gently scratched his beard as he smiled and kissed my forehead. He was right; this is where I needed to be.

[sapphickocho]

hihi bestie heehee i am here to drop shit abt ur au now cuz u did to mine so YES. (it's abt the tokito traitor au btw <3)

1. yui would take so many habits from koku just because (ex. like talking so slow, staring off to the distance, death stare, etc.) he would most prob remind lower rank demon slayers to respect the heirarchy

2. mui would ramble so much shit to koku that sometimes koku can't keep up (ex. what happened during his missions, what he did today like what he ate, etc.)

3. mui is known to sleep heavily even to loud noises, so who knows yui would do the same, before they were demon slayers koku has to protect their asses from other demons attacking them.

4. there would be one game they would play with koku is try to guess which tokito twin is which, they have to look exactly like eachother and koku has to guess (for mui's left arm he would hide it in a long baggy sleeve), but koku would always guess correctly cuz of the see through world lmao

5. yui would mostly remind him of himself cause of how similar they are in some ways, thanks to that koku is much more harsher on yui when training (he doesn't know why but he guesses cause he only has one arm hehe)

6. koku is more softer w mui at times cuz of how he reminds him of yoriichi he would do things that would make him seem out of character with mui, like... a protective older brother 👀, koku doesn't really like how similar mui is to yoriichi but he keeps it to himself, also there might be times were koku freezes up over something mui said that really reminded of yoriichi 🥺

also sorry ramble hehe, it was my turn HEHEHHEEHE enjoy these, hcs/ideas? eh- anyways love ya! can't wait to see for whats to come!!! ❤️❤️❤️

YES YES YES THIS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TELLING ME !!

I have so many thoughts about this !!

First of all for context, this is a refence to this post here.

So for the first one, yuichiro would TOTALLY do that. All of the lowermoons are absolutely terrified of him because he is like a mini version of koku and if any of them act up he doesn't need all six eyes to death stare them. It shuts them up easily. I feel like he would also talk in fancy traditional words that confuse tf out of the hashiras + the kamaboko squad since koku talks like the sengoku period and well, yuichiro idolizes him.

2. This reminds me of the fact that muichiro would totally talk shit about people behind there back. And you know who hes telling it too? Our one and only number 1 dad! Kokushibo is just tired of hearing demonslayer corps gossip because he cant follow along.

3. Oh for sure. I bet he was also especially nervous when they went through final selection and he couldnt protect them. especially since they had to sleep during those seven days.

4. He would totally play along tho, so he would be like "hmmmm this is so difficult.....Yuichiro is on the left."

5. poor yuichiro but YES this exactly!! Koku would often be like "Your not strong enough to protect your bother" and "Your worthless if you let him die" to motivate him but also because it feels like he is talking to the child version of himself, and all the stuff he wants to say so things can turn out diffrently.

6.🥺 stoppp thats so cute. and its so true. muichiro would look at him with his big eyes that have the same look as yoriichri's and kokushibo would have to look away. Its just. too cute.

what if kokushibo gives him a gift and muichiro says "I'll cherish it, like it was you" and suddenly koku is getting whiplash to how similar the words were to when his brother said it all those years ago.

Thank you so much!! Feel free to drop your ideas in my inbox anytime ♥♥♥♥

[galacticxangel]

Wait I saw your comment on the meeting your mutuals/stranger danger post. You said you married your mutual? That's so cute. Have you shared that anywhere and if not would you share it here?

I’m pretty sure I’ve shared it passively, but I never shared the full thing just on its own, so I’ll do that here!

So back in Ye Olde Days (13 years ago), Ask Blogs were a big thing on Tumblr, and also, so was Minecraft! And wouldn’t you know it, I was running a little Minecraft ask blog. And then I came across another, which had amazing art and characters and I adored what I was seeing, so I followed, they followed back, I sent little asks, and we communicated that way! The blog I found was run by two people, @cosmic-anchor (Silvia), and her friend Lazzy (boyo where’s your blog). He’s still a mutual bestie today, as are a few other folks we met via ask blog shenanigans, like @knightlymoon and @ragnarode .

ANYWAY. We get to playing on a server together (we actually use a Minecraft version release date as our meeting anniversary, because it was right around the prerelease of Beta 1.8: September 9, 2011. How do we remember? Well, that’s when they released Endermen! And anyone familiar with Minecraft aakblogs knows just how popular those are today. But back then? HOLY crap. Everyone and their grandma has a Sexy Broody Enderman or a Sexy Broody Enderman Hybrid. It was. A lot), take to each other like a church on fire, and become besties! We have a little house together.

Long time passes, and we’re on pretty much daily communication, still playing games, etc. I went through basic training and she was one of the folks I sent letters to while I was there. We played D&D together (This was an entire fiasco where we lost one bestie due to an abusive relationship. She’s back now tho! Love you Lynn <3). Even in the military, when I got DEEPLY depressed, she was there for me and helped me out (I credit her for being alive today. I’m not sure I’d be here if she hadn’t talked me down and convinced me to see a mental health specialist). I get out of the military, get my own little apartment, and go ‘wait a minute. I can do what I want. I have a best friend I’ve known for like six years now. Let’s invite her down!’ And so we start planning our first

‘Down’ is an understatement. See, I live in Texas. She lives in Kentucky, literally a thousand miles away. And while I’ve got all my documents and paperwork and driving skills and travel under my belt, she… doesn’t. As the older sibling of a special needs person, and not from a very high income household, she didn’t have this stuff. So it’s up to me, and I’m too fired up about taking my bestie to a renaissance faire (yah we. Really nerdy lol) to consider anything but!

We get her costume ready. Her plane tickets. Her ids and everything, sorted. It comes to like. Two weeks before the flight. And I get a call at work. It’s Via. Now, this is weird. Over the years, we’ve kinda fallen into a system. Common communication falls into just a message (Skype at the time iirc, Discord didn’t exist just yet). Something kinda urgent gets you an alert ping (like @ing someone). Dire is a call. And my phone’s ringing.

Not good.

So I hurriedly excuse myself from the office to take it, and she’s in tears. Her dad’s gotten cold feet, and won’t take her to the airport like he promised because ‘what if I’m an internet predator’. I mean. I get it. I have a Southern Style family, too (This will come up later). But damn it, she’s an adult. We’re BOTH adults. Also, I just bought a round trip plane ticket! Also, at this point I know more about her than he does. He still thinks she’s straight. But he won’t take her because we’ve never met face-to-face.

It’s Wednesday. I look at my office door. I have my best friend, current queerplat partner on the line, sobbing apologies.

“Hey. Tell him to pick a place to eat. Dinner on Friday. My treat, okay?”

“What?”

“Tell him to pick a place for dinner on Friday. I’ll see you then.”

Thus begins the trek that cements me as ‘most unhinged friend when others need something’ in our friend group to the day. I go into my office, spinning a sob story about how some nondescript family member just passed and funeral and blah blah I need to go but I’ll be back on Monday.

Green light acquired.

I go home, and immediately go to sleep. I wake up around midnight, pack my bags into my little Kia, and off I go. 1000 miles. Now, remember when I said my family would come up later? Here’s later: I didn’t tell them. There was NO WAY they were going to just sit idle while I drove a thousand miles, ALONE, to meet someone I’d never met in person. I’d never driven quite that far, either. Not to say no one knew, I would plot two hours on my gps, send the path to Lazzy and Via, and check in when I hit the next stop. If I didn’t check in, they were told to call my parents if I was over an hour late. Which, obviously, I never was, because I’m typing this and not like, dead or anything.

I roll up to her local Cracker Barrel at 8pm on Friday, after easily one of the best experiences of my life (was out between cities on a clear, late summer night, got to see the Milky Way for the first time, got ‘adopted’ by a bunch of truckers at a truck stop I paused for a nap at). My hair’s a bit frizzy and I’m wearing a shirt that says ‘Watch Closely: I’m About To Do Something Stupid’. But her dad gets the firmest, friendliest Texan handshake I can give, and a bright smile.

Apparently, he never expected me to show. According to Via, I humbled him that day. I don’t pay for dinner, despite offering. I even stay the night.

She’s on a plane for Texas two weeks later.

(Bonus: it’s at the point I send a picture of the big ol ‘Welcome To Kentucky’ state line sign to my parents. This. Was not a good idea lol. But I had my big Texas meat swangin my ego and I was damn proud to be functionally unhinged. My dad scolds me and then gets me a hotel room in Little Rock, DEMANDING I stop half way on the way back. My mom calls me, yells at me, and then hangs up on me. Calls back an hour later to apologize because she wasn’t mad I went, she was mad that I was right when I told her ‘you’d have tried to stop me’. Ultimately fine, in the end).

There’s at least one other travel adventure (much easier this time! We were supposed to go to PAX South but were too lazy that morning so we ate pizza and played video games.

I move out of my apartment and start renting a house. I have extra room. And I think about my friend, who’s only left her tristate area twice now, both because of me. And I think ‘that’s my best friend! I wonder if she wants to move down here!’

Another 2k miles on my poor little Kia (who’s STILL KICKING BTW), and she now lives in Texas. This was about five years ago. We live in my little granny house that’s older than both occupants combined. You heard that right, though. Oh my god, We Were Roommates.

It’s about this time that apparently Via starts Getting The Feelings but BLESS HER she’s being SO GOOD because at this point I’m defining as Aro/Ace. Turns out it was just some anxiety/aversion because my previous relationship was turbo unhealthy! But I really like this chick, and I’m like ‘you know what, I’m scared I’ll mess up our friendship, but I’ll try these things. We already go on ‘dates’ and I buy you flowers occasionally just because I was thinking of you and we already snuggle every night because it helps us go to sleep’ yeah I was. Hm. Dense.

Anyway it takes off HARD and within the year, we’re married on the coast where I took her to see the ocean for the very first time, on September 9, 2023.

Our first anniversary is soon. 💕

[moon-spirit-yue]

Settle Down

Chapter 1: You’re Cold and I Burn

(I feel like Raya deserves several apologies so I made this little fic. Also I’m a firm believer of angry Raya rights and bitter Benja rights. I really don’t think either of them really just got over everything so quickly. Plus some Benja lore I’m making up to explain why things went down the way they did. And for once in my life it’s a fic that’s canon compliant! Get ready for angst today!)

Life is great. 

Raya’s father has finally come back from stone and they reunited once more. In fact, he’s standing a mere ten feet away from her mingling with a couple diplomats from the other lands. Only a three months since the Druun were destroyed for good and already there’s so much progress. 

Life is great.

The dragons have returned too. That was something Raya never anticipated to happen, even if she did manage to bring her ba back. Seeing the stunning celestial beings dance along the horizon has been making Raya’s little dragon nerd heart flutter in excitement. 

Life is great. 

There’s also the nice addition of her and Namaari being on uh, she’s not exactly sure of the right term, but it’s not murderous terms so that’s an improvement. They shared a couple fruits, they smile at each other, so their relationship is certainly going in the right direction.  

It’s great. This is what Raya wanted, what she’s been wanting for the past six years. Yet somehow, she doesn’t feel great. 

In fact, Raya felt something close to miserable. Which is incredibly irritating because she doesn’t understand why she feels so awful. 

The Heart princess had become quickly accustomed to smiling and agreeing with whatever anyone says over the past couple months about how wonderful it is everyone is back and the dragons are miracles. Heart’s been the hotspot for discussing political alliances and was used as a way to show the other lands’ good graces by helping with Heart’s rebuilding. Raya’s cheek hurt from faking her smiles. 

She wishes so badly that her cheerful demeanor and welcoming attitude was sincere, but it wasn’t. When a new person approaches, she reaches for her sword. When Raya gets a new plate of food or a drink, she has to give it a thorough search to make sure no drugs or poisons are in it. When someone smiles and asks how she is, Raya has to lie when she says, “never better.”

And here she sits, watching everyone else either discuss potential political solutions or party hard with people that used be stone statues. Raya can’t bring herself to join anyone. 

“Heeeeeeey bestie!” Sisu exclaimed, slithering right next Raya’s seat which is a rather uncomfortable rock.

“Hi, Sisu. What’s up?” she asked, smiling sincerely for the first time in a while. 

“Nothing crazy, just hanging with the people. You know, people that can actually respond back to me. You should really try it,” the dragon insisted, giving her a look.

Raya sighed and rubbed her face tiredly. Sisu has been trying to drag Raya into any and every social event that’s popped up since the Druun were vanquished. Considering the fact that the past three months have basically been one big celebration, Raya has experienced a lot of attempted dragging.

“I’ve already helped with the crops, my people quota has been reached for the day,” Raya said dismissively. 

“Well sure, but that’s work! Why don’t you talk to some of the homies for fun! Like you could hang out with your ba or Namaari-,” Sisu continued to ramble, but Raya kind of checked out after those two names,

Her relationship with both people had been rather tense, to say the least. It’s certainly to be expected with Namaari given their history, but Raya was surprised at herself to realize she’s not quite as comfortable with her ba as she used to be. 

Raya just doesn’t know how to act around him anymore. Of course, she’s so happy that he’s back, that’s never been an issue, but there’s a barrier between them now that the Heart princess hadn’t considered. 

Maybe it was the fact that so much time had passed? Raya did tell him upfront that she’s no longer a child and doesn’t want to be treated as such but he has been as good as he can be given everything that happened. It’s just so hard to connect with her ba now. The one person that used to make her feel more secure than anything in the world no longer gives Raya the safety he once did.

It has been years since she’s seen him, and a lot has happened, so maybe Raya is trying to rush the process. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t wish things could exactly how they used to be.

“-or you could even make some new friends! Doesn’t that sound fun?” Sisu yelled right when Raya’s brain focused on the conversation again.

“Right, sounds spectacular. I’m going to make a little fruit bowl, can I get you anything?” the Heart warrior asked.

“Oh, strawberries and pineapple would be amazing!” Sisu grinned.

“Coming right up,” Raya mumbled. At least she was no longer being peer pressured into becoming a social butterfly. 

She then began weaving in through people, tables, even a couple dragons before reaching her destination. Raya approached the table filled with assortments of fruits from all five lands thus beginning her examination of which ones look the best. 

“Raya,” a voice said out of literally nowhere.

The Heart princess is rather ashamed to say she actually squeaked a bit as she jumped back, frantically turning to whoever said her name. Feeling her pulse go a mile a minute, she realized that it was Namaari standing next to her.

“Oh, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to uh, startle you,” Namaari awkwardly sighed. Raya’s entire body tensed but she waved her off like everything was fine.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s a habit I’m trying to break,” Raya shrugged. She’s constantly on edge being surrounded by people all the time. The adjustment period is longer than she anticipated. “So, what’s up? You said that Raya with some urgency there.”

“Ah, I did. I was hoping we could talk? In private?” Namaari asked.

The Heart princess paused for a moment to weigh her options. While it’s true that she’s kind of been hoping an opportunity like this would arise, now she’s not so sure she actually wants to talk. But, it would probably be rude to deny Namaari. 

Honestly, Raya just wants to turn in for the night. The day has been way too long for her taste. She then decided to suck it up and just talk to the Fang princess before retiring to her room.

“Sure, I just need to give Sisu her fruits real quick. The appetite of a dragon amazes me,” Raya smiled in her poor attempt to crack a joke. 

Thankfully, Namaari managed a small smile from the remark.

“No problem, I can wait,” Namaari said.

They started idle chit chat as Raya filled up the bowl with Sisu’s favorites. After promptly excusing herself, Raya wandered back to the dragon’s side to give her the fruit.

“Your snack as requested, Almighty Sisudatu,” Raya grinned. She then bowed dramatically and lifted the bowl right above her head. 

“I love it when you act like you haven’t had to share the same boat as me to sleep,” the dragon laughed and eagerly took the bowl from her. “Okay, so I’m thinking after I replenish my strength, you and I head down to the river for some good old swimming practice?”

“Oh, that probably won’t work out. Namaari just asked to speak with me and there’s a really good chance the discussion will take a while,” Raya frowned. 

“You’re going to talk to Namaari?! That’s great! You guys could use a little bonding experience!” Sisu exclaimed, weirdly ecstatic of Raya talking to Namaari.

“Uh huh. Well, if we both make it out of this interaction alive I’ll find you,” Raya snorted as she walked in Namaari’s direction.

“You got it Raya!” Sisu cheered as she all but waved Raya off.

“Strange, strange dragon,” she whispered to herself as she met up with Namaari. “My mission was a success. Where are we headed?”

“I thought the kitchens would be a good place to talk now that all the cooks are done for the night,” Namaari said as she already began walking in that direction.

“Alright,” Raya gulped. 

She looked around for an excuse to not do this but when she couldn’t find one, Raya hastily followed the other princess. 

The walk to the kitchens was both quiet and awkward. The two women haven’t communicated much since the Druun were vanquished. After the first day of everyone returning from stone, their interactions had become few and far between despite Namaari being so active in Heart’s rebuilding.

Raya had no clue what the hell she should even say to Namaari and had a pretty good feeling she felt the same way. What could they even say to each other? ‘Hey, I know that we’ve almost killed each other several times in the past six years, but want to grab a bite to eat?’ 

Absolutely not.

She could feel her blood pumping, already thinking of the several ways this interaction could turn violent. What was she thinking, going somewhere alone with Namaari after what happened last time. This was a bad idea. Raya can’t do this, she wants to go back to her room or run off to the courtyard or just leave the general area because she just can’t-

“After you,” Namaari said in a quiet voice.

Raya blinked dumbly before registering the fact that Namaari was holding the door open for her and had stepped to the side. Raya’s shoulders tensed up as she reluctantly walked past her and into the kitchen. 

She only took about three steps into the room before turning to face Namaari. Raya didn’t feel comfortable having her back face the other princess and prayed she wouldn’t take notice. 

Once Namaari closed the door behind her, Raya became claustrophobic in about four seconds. Small spaces never felt like an issue before now. Maybe she should pretend to faint or something.

“Well, we’re here. What’s on your mind?” Raya asked, trying really hard not to sound too agitated. 

“I wanted to apologize. For everything. I never should manipulated you into gaining your trust only to take it away. And Sisu’s death? I completely messed up by bringing my crossbow. I’ve only ever tried to do the right thing and it always managed to be wrong. I can’t even imagine what you had to go through because of me. I’m so sorry for anything that happened to you because of my actions,” Namaari said remorsefully. 

To both Namaari and Raya’s surprise, Raya began to laugh. Her hand covered her mouth as a snort managed to escape her. Now, the reason why Raya is currently laughing is because this feels like one big joke. 

And not the good kind. 

“Namaari, has anyone ever told you what a fucking coward you are?” Raya asked, still giggling like a three year old with too much candy.

“I’m sorry what?” Namaari said with a raised eyebrow.

“I mean, it’s true. You’re a fucking coward. It’s a trait that stayed with you since we were kids. When we fought in that cave, you could only kick me when my back was turned, and when I faced you like a big girl, you got your ass handed to you. If you didn’t have that flare and let your mommy bail you out, you would have left that cave black and blue,” Raya rushed out.

The Heart princess shouldn’t be saying any of this. For god’s sake, Kumandra is too delicate for her to be yelling at this woman and saying exactly how she feels. It’s like Namaari’s stupid face and even more stupid apology opened the door to all of Raya’s horrible feelings that she’s been too polite to talk about.

Being polite is officially over.

“Congratulations for stating the obvious, though. Because yeah, a peaceful meeting means no weapons! Honestly, Sisu’s death was on both of us, I’m big enough to realize that. I shouldn’t have been too eager to swing my sword, but you have never once given me a reason to trust you a day in my life! Anytime we see each other swords are drawn, blood is shed, and someone limps away crying. Mostly you, because if I was the one limping and crying, I’d have been in jail,” Raya snapped.

Namaari had the luxury of healthcare and support when she got injured. Raya had Tuk Tuk. As cute as he may be, he does not have the fine motor skills or the thumbs to properly help her tend to her wounds. Not to mention the fact that he wasn’t always the getaway transport he is today. If Raya didn’t win their little interactions, she’d be utterly screwed.

“Okay, that is completely untrue,” Namaari said.

And she had the audacity to sound annoyed. God, Raya wants to throttle her. She has both hands clasped tightly behind her back because she is afraid she may start brawling with this undercut nightmare at a moment’s notice.

“Seriously, you’re upset that I called you out for being a weak binturi? Of all the things that I’m dishing out to you, your physical strength is what’s getting you all hot and bothered?” Raya scoffed.

“That’s not the issue here,” the Fang woman frowned.

“No, the issue is that you suck!” Raya childishly yelled.

Why can’t Raya just stop talking? It’s like a dam overflowed and she has no choice but to say what’s on her mind. This is going to end in disaster. Raya knows that. And still, she continues to speak.

“My god, Namaari! You hunted a homeless orphan for months! I get a couple weeks, Fang pride and all that because hell, I stole from you, but months? What the actual fuck?! I had nothing. No father, no money, no home, and yet somehow you thought I was such a threat that you hunted me down for months? Did it make you feel powerful, knowing that with a snap you fingers you could make my life even more miserable than it already was?” Raya glared. 

“Of course not-,” Namaari began, but was very quickly cut off.

“Well I can’t possibly think of what else you needed from me! I asked about that stupid scroll, you know. With the way you were hunting me, I thought I got my hands on a goldmine. I’m sure you can imagine how surprised I was when I found out it was worth about as much as a bag full of dirt,” Raya scowled.

Shut up, shut up, shut up, her internal voice screamed. Raya wants to stop talking. So badly, Raya just wants to breath and move on. But she can’t. She is so enraged that it’s hard for her to stand still.

“You should have left me alone,” Raya continued when Namaari was suddenly rendered speechless. “I was weak, alone, and I didn’t have a single piece of jade to my name that wasn’t stolen. The very least you could have done was just leave me alone. What the hell was the point of coming after me? What exactly were you trying to prove to your almighty mother?”

“Raya, please, just settle down for one moment,” Namaari sighed as if she was talking to some petulant child. 

Once Raya heard the words ‘settle down’ she knew there was no way this conversation was going to end peacefully.

“Settle down? Settle down?! Are you kidding me? After six years of defending myself from people trying to take what little jade I had, of starving myself so that Tuk Tuk could eat, of missing my ba, of running from the Druun and you might I add, of falling asleep crying because there was no real point in living you want me to SETTLE DOWN?!” Raya screamed with anger seeping out of her pores. 

Namaari just stood there. She stood there like a fucking imbecile and it only pissed Raya off more. She can’t even look at the other woman right now. Raya might actually kill her. 

“I have no desire to talk to you anymore so get out! Bother someone else for change of pace!” Raya yelled at her. 

Her nails began digging into her palms from how tight her fist was balled up. It was taking every ounce of self control Raya has to not grab what ever sharp object was closest to her and charge.

“Raya,” Namaari whispered, at an apparent loss for words. 

“Get out! Just get the hell out of here before I actually burn you alive, you cold, heartless binturi!” Raya shrieked. 

Raya’s pretty sure her own rage is really starting to blind her because Namaari’s facial expression isn’t registering in her mind but thankfully, she could see the Fang princess’s figure quietly walk out. Good. Finally, something’s going right.

But see, the really unfortunate thing is that Raya is still not quite happy with her current state of being. The anger she feels for Namaari did not leave with her. It was hard enough to resist bashing Namaari’s face in so now she needs to find an outlet for her wrath without getting another living thing involved. 

Raya scanned the room to find dozens of wine glasses lined on the kitchen counter tops. Before she knew, the Heart princess grabbed wine glass and threw it on the ground as hard as she could. She watched intently the glass shattered the second it made impact with floor. 

Raya grabbed another glass and gave it the same harsh treatment. Just like the one before, the glass shattered into hundreds of tiny pieces. From that moment on, Raya began to pick up a rhythm in her madness. Grab, throw, shatter, repeat. 

Sometimes she’d squeeze them so tightly that they were broken before they could even hit the floor. Her hands began to bleed from little cuts the glasses gave her but she did’t care. She needed this. It’s the only thing stopping Raya from marching out of this room and finishing what she started in Fang. 

“What on earth are you doing?!” a familiar voice boomed.

The Heart princess turned her furious glare to her father. He was standing there and looked to be a mixture of confused and panicked. Then Benja had the audacity to look at Raya like she had somehow lost her mind. Then Raya finally realized why she was having so many difficulties with her father.

She’s mad at him. Actually mad him. A daughter being mad at her father isn’t an uncommon occurrence. That is, unless you were Raya and Benja. 

Looking back at her childhood, Raya legitimately can’t remember a time where she had been so genuinely angry at her father. Sure, they’d both get a bit upset at each other. But that was usually from a petty incident and the negative feelings lasted for like, one day. There was also the occasional moment of Raya going too far for whatever reason and needing to be scolded, but she always knew when she deserved it and her father always apologized when she didn’t.

But here and now? Raya’s so enraged that she feels like her whole body was set on fire. 

Well, Raya is already on a roll with screaming at the people that exist in her presence, might as well add another to the list.

“And you,” Raya spat, pointing the wine glass she seized at her father like she’d hold her sword. “How dare you look at me like I’m crazy! You should have seen this coming Ba, but then again, your foresight has a pretty bad rep!” 

“Honestly Raya, I thought you knew better than to make a huge mess like this! What has gotten into you!? You were completely fine when you were out with the others! What changed in such a short amount of time?” her father exclaimed while slamming the door shut. 

“Are you kidding me right now? I have not been fine for the past six years Ba! Because you threw me in a damn river!” Raya roared at him, squeezing the glass in her hand. 

“Dewdrop,” he whispered, taking a step forward only for Raya to quickly retreat in the opposite direction. 

“Do not Dewdrop me! I was twelve! I was twelve years old and you gave me a responsibility that most adults couldn’t handle! You said not to give up on them when they’d all given up on themselves! I would lay on the ground night after night, wondering what slight detail could have been changed to avoid this entire mess,” the Heart princess yelled as she felt tears begin to stream down her face. “Why didn’t you wait! You should have built relationships with the other lands before inviting them into our home!  Or you should have not made me a guardian of them gem so young! Why didn’t you stop me? You should have done something, damn it!” 

Though her eyes were still blurred, she could see her father’s form sit on the floor across from her.

“You’re right. It was the biggest mistake of my life,” she heard her father mumble out.

“It definitely was, so why did you do it?” Raya asked, desperate for an explanation. 

“I just, I wanted you to live in a better world. And I was too impatient with the progress we had been making. I hadn’t been planning on telling you this until you were much older, but a few weeks before that gathering, I was attacked,” Benja admitted. 

“You what?” Raya gasped. 

“You know your grandparents died very early on in my youth. The elders thrust me onto the throne before I was ready. After the attempt on my life, I just wanted to make sure that would never happen to you. I had to find a way to make the world a better place before it was too late,” her Ba whispered. 

Raya wiped away her tears and got a good look at her father that was now sitting on the floor. She’d never seen him look so haunted in her entire life. 

“You know, when I had you, I wanted nothing more than for you to have all the time in the world to be a child,” her father continued solemnly. “That’s why I was so hellbent on finding a way to make Kumandra united again. I wanted a quick and easy solution to our problems. The whole point of that day was to make your future better. Instead, I doomed you.”

Raya walked closer to her father when she heard the quiver in his voice. Se crouched down to see tears were streaming down his face.

“I failed you, Raya. Not a day goes by where I don’t think of it. From the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry for all the pain I caused you. I should have protected you more. I put too much weight on your shoulders. I understand if you resent me for the rest of your life, but please know that I never meant to hurt you. Everything I have ever done has been to love you and keep you safe from the day you were born,” he choked out.

Seeing her ba cry just made tears well up in Raya’s eyes. Wordlessly, Raya crawled onto his lap like she used to as a kid. Her father wrapped his arms around her waist and she leaned against his neck.

Raya didn’t even realize how much her chest has been heaving until she stopped moving. Hearing her father truly acknowledge his faults in the way everything went down helped Raya find clarity inside herself.

“You know the thing that I hated the most about the Druun?” Raya asked.

“I’m a little scared to hear this but what?” her father replied. 

“I hated that you were gone because you’re my best friend and the person I love most,” the Heart princess cried. She felt her father’s arm tighten around her.

No words were exchanged as the two wallowed in their own misery and regret together. Despite the heavy atmosphere in the room, it’s the lightest Raya has felt since her ba returned from stone. 

“I’m sorry, for everything I’ve done. Please, please don’t hate me forever,” her father begged her. Raya laughed weakly while shaking her head.

“I could never hate you, ba. I didn’t even realize I was holding a grudge, but having this talk made me feel a lot better. I think we just need to take everything one step at a time from this point on,” the Heart princess sniffled. She smiled hearing her father sigh in relief.

“Okay good. I know I said resenting me forever would have been okay and it would have, but I honestly don’t know if my heart would have been able to take it,” Benja chuckled. 

“On that note, I should probably address that mess I made behind me,” Raya frowned, looking at the wreckage.

“You certainly did a number here,” her father noted. 

“Hey Ba? One more thing,” Raya said. 

“What is it Dewdrop?” he asked curiously.

“I forgive you,” Raya told him sincerely.

“Thank you,” Benja sighed, completely relieved. After giving her one last squeeze he loosened his arms a bit so that Raya could break free.

Raya smiled a bit and used the rather minimal strength she had left to get back up on her feet. She stretched out her hand for her father. Just when he was about to take it, he gasped loudly and brought her hand to his face. Raya’s confusion didn’t last long when she realized her hand was covered in tiny cuts from the glass. Raya hadn’t even realize she was bleeding until now.

“Stay there, I know there’s some disinfectants stuffed in this kitchen somewhere. We have way too many accident prone chefs,” her father mentioned. 

Raya nodded and sat quietly on floor as her father rummaged through the cabinets to get what he needed to heal her wounds. No words were spoken as Benja took her left hand in his. 

The Heart princess winced when the disinfectant made contact with her skin. She bit her lip as the stinging sensation traveled all across her hand. Raya then watched her ba firmly wrap the bandage around her hand. Thankfully, the right hand was done at a much faster pace.

“Does that feel okay? I didn’t wrap them too tightly did I?” Benja asked with concern etched in his voice.

“It’s good, Ba. Thank you. I suppose now I need to get rid of this wreck,” Raya sighed. Turning her attention to the floor with the shattered glass made her cringe because of how much work needed to be done. The glass shattered into very tiny pieces. Man, she really didn’t think this through.

“Dewdrop, you’re exhausted and injured. I’m more than happy to send a couple maids up here,” Benja told her. Then he reassessed the damage and realized how bad it was. “Or maybe a small army of maids, but the point still stands.” 

“No, don’t make the poor maids suffer because of my breakdown. I’ll clean it up, it’s fine. I can make it work even with the bandages. It was kind of on purpose so I’d feel bad making them do it,” Raya sighed, waving her ba off. 

She grabbed an empty bag that was originally used to transport fresh vegetables and crouched down to start picking up the glass shards. To Raya’s surprise, her father crouched down and also began picking up shards.

“Ba, it’s okay, I can clean it up myself. I’m not a kid anymore,” Raya told him.

“Well I know that, but I’m still your ba. Just because you can do something alone doesn’t mean you have to. It’s my job as a father to help my daughter clean up her messes, no matter how old she is,” Benja said. 

Raya said no words but flung her arms around him. Her ba wasted no time in wrapping both arms around her tightly, almost afraid to let go. The Heart princess bit back another sob when she realized she felt protected in her father’s arms again. She needed that talk more than she realized. The Heart princess still sniffled a bit and tried regaining her composure.

“Since you’re so adamant about helping me clean my messes, I sorta kinda may have threatened to burn Namaari alive and had huge screaming match with her so if there’s any way you could do some damage control for that, I’d be eternally grateful,” Raya laughed nervously as they slowly pulled away from each other.

“I’ll handle it,” her ba sighed. “I see that violent charm you had as a child hasn’t changed throughout the years. You definitely got that from your mother.”

“Hey, don’t pawn off all my bad traits on Ma. Poor woman can’t even defend herself,” the princess joked as she proceeded to clean up the glass shards.

“I know she would have done the same to me, we understood each other that way,” her father chuckled. 

Benja reached forward to grab a piece of glass but winced before he even got hold of it.

“You alright back there? You didn’t cut yourself, did you?” Raya asked.

“No, I’m fine. My knees just started really hurting all of a sudden,” her father frowned. 

“Oh ba, just sit down and let me clean up myself. I wouldn’t want you to hurt your old man knees,” Raya grinned. Amusement was shining in her eyes as her ba pulled the most offended face he could muster.

“Excuse you, I am not old! I have not aged a day since I’ve been turned to stone! In fact, I haven’t aged at all. I’m still thirty five!” Benja spat indignantly. 

“I don’t know ba, I see those grey hairs,” Raya laughed knowing full well there was not a single strand of grey on his head.

“Wait are you serious?” Benja asked as he brought one of the bigger glass shards to his face to examine his reflection. “I’m telling you right now that if there is a grey strand in here I’m grounding you because it was definitely your fault.”

The Heart princess began absolutely cackling at the sight of her father’s distressed face. After a very in depth examination Benja was able to come to the conclusion that Raya was pulling his leg.

“You’re just lucky,” her ba huffed.

“Yeah, I really am,” Raya said sincerely.

With these horrible barriers broken down, both father and daughter worked tirelessly to pick up the pieces, one step at a time. 

[clatoera]

Picket Fence is Sharp as Knives Chapter 5: I once believed love would be black and white...but it's golden (like daylight).

Besties. I have said it many many times but I have once again achieved it when I say that this is the longest chapter I've ever written in my entire life clocking in at 10.5k+ words. And also... I know I've also said this before but this is my favorite chapter. Ever. I have been holding back the content of this chapter for about a year now. I knew it was going to happen. I've known about this chapter as long as i've known about the fic itself. It has been a long time coming.

The title itself is like..really fun to me. I think you will understand why it's called that once you read it, if not I spell it out on AO3 but don't want to do that here in case of spoilers. I chose the name literally a year ago, I have been workshopping it ever since, but that name has never changed. The title was not why I chose it..it just serendipitously worked that way. Title is of course Taylor Swift, being from the song Daylight.

AO3

Masterpost

I need to acknowledge all my friends of course, but @kentwells actually specifically is the one who gave me the idea on the timeline and some of the drama and ultimately this chapter is for you my friend. Also of course @bodyelectric77 absolutely came through with the Gloss/Enobaria/Cashmere help, and theres a line in here she created and So I'm crediting her with it (It's specifically when Gloss and Cashmere are arguing about who gets to see her first, so that "Gloss can be her favorite since he knew her longer." Especially the last few days you've been listening to me whine, and also, you have been helping me develop this for months at this point. This is for you, too. @ohhowwehavefallen my clato queen, I know this is not your cup of tea but alas. You've known just as long as I have (almost) about the girls so.

Also: Happy Late Valentines Day

I’ve been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night… but now I see daylight

The week of February fourteenth is consistently one of the worst weeks of the year for victors, or at least it was before the war. The weeks comprising the Games  were most certainly the worst, but after six months would pass everyone started to get that itch for their favorites. To make things worse, the Capitol held on to some odd tradition of the past–Valentine’s day they called it– a day dedicated to, ironically, love. Part of the display of…love…involved many themed parties. Most of which involved their favorite victors barely clothed (or in lingerie) and being bought and sold as the ideal gift to their twisted loved ones. 

Needless to say, it’s not a day that the victors think of particularly fondly, at this point. With less than two years having passed since the war that ultimately ended their abuse, most of them were just starting to redefine the moments and periods of time that hurt them so deeply. 

Thus, why Cashmere woke up later than average that particular day. Well, that was not the reason she had woken up late, but rather the woman involved in such activities. Enobaria was always up before the sun, usually having gotten in an entire workout before Cashmere willed herself out of bed.  Today was absolutely no exception, and as Cash extends her arms over her head and feels the slinky feeling of silk sheets against her skin she is reminded that they are in her home this time– Enobaria, oh she loved her more than anything, but the woman refused to update her own bed beyond a high thread count cotton, and even that had been a win in Cashmere’s book. 

She reaches out, and as her hands brush an empty space rather than soft skin, she knows that as usual Enobaria has already started her day. The blonde gives a pleasant little hum, stretching the length of her body through the tips of her toes, before she slides her bare skin out from under the pale pink sheets and into the cool February air of her bedroom. She starts her day fresh, never daring to rewear something off the floor that had been discarded the night prior, and chooses a properly folded silk pajama set from the bedside table. She dresses in the shorts and cute little button up top, pausing to admire the little red hearts on the baby pink satin. Yes, maybe it’s the dead of a District One winter (which are somehow miraculously warmer than those of Enoabria’s home district), but she can still be festive. 

Her routine every single morning is the same– pick something to get dressed in, check the status of her hair (still almost perfectly curled from the night before, thank you very much, save for the couple of knots where fingers had spent time twisting languidly in the afterglow of...activities), and then start the extensive skincare regimen she had been following for fifteen years.

 Some habits die hard, and some will never die, such as proper moisturizing.

Cashmere is sitting in front of the lighted mirror, coating her face with a deep blue clay mask, when she hears the bedroom door creak open.A small smile spreads across her face as she awaits the return of her girl. 

“Hiii baby,” She calls out to Enobaria before she even sees her, twisting in her seat to greet her face to face. When she notices the little smirk on her face as she holds something out in her hand, Cashmere’s smile falters just slightly, “what’s wrong?”

Enobaria holds out Cashmere’s phone to her, a bemused smile coming to her face. “You must be very popular. I could hear it in your coat pocket all morning…got someone else looking for you for Valentine’s day?” It’s so clearly teasing in her voice, both due to the sensitive nature of their past experiences, but also to ensure that she is merely teasing. It’s not even particularly uncommon– Gloss sometimes goes on those kicks, where he calls her twenty some times just to clarify some detail when he’s mid debate with Brutus or Finnick. 

“Gloss probably didn’t sleep or something,” Cash reaches out her hand, but as soon as she sees the notifications on her home screen (overlying a picture of her and Enobaria at her sister’s wedding, notably) her heart sinks. 

Seventeen missed calls. Forty-two texts. All of which being from her sister or Marvel, sent to her and Gloss both. 

“Something wrong?” Enobaria’s voice calls, and when Cashmere feels the hand on top of hers she realizes she was holding her breath, her skin a sickly pale underneath the exfoliating mask. “Cash? Babe? Breathe.” 

“I…” She can’t find words, as all the blood rushes from her face to the pit of her stomach. Cashmere can’t look away from the open phone in her hands, staring at the picture attached to the final text. There wasn’t an identifiable face, but that scarred arm, those pink pearlescent nails Cashmere had helped her sister choose the color of yesterday morning– that was most certainly Glimmer’s hand. It wasn’t even the hand or the arm that had her stomach sinking, no, it was the fact there was most definitely a little tiny head in that hand, there was absolutely a little hand wrapped around her sister’s perfectly manicured thumb. And though she could not see a face, and though there was no caption, there was absolutely no doubt what Glimmer was trying to tell her. 

Sent 1:11 a.m. February Fourteenth. 

“Oh my god..” Comes first as a whisper, and then a frantic, panicked “OH MY GOD,” She flips her phone towards Enobaria before she can ask, and immediately starts wiping the still setting mask off of her face. “I..my..she…glimmer.” Cash actually cries, fanning at her face to stop tears from falling from her eyes. “Enobaria look!” 

Enobaria squints at the screen, tilting her head to try to discern exactly what angle she’s looking at. “Oh is that–”

“She had a baby! Without me!” Cashmere explains, and immediately picks up a makeup brush. “I need to go over there immediately.” 

“It looks like she tried to tell you, Cash.” Enobaria hands her back her phone, a bemused smile as she watches her girlfriend continue about her typical morning routine. “Is her name Sunshine or Luxury?”

“She didn’t say her name, and it was between Sunshine and Golden– why are you giving me that look?” Cashmere continues to polish foundation across her clean face, albeit a bit faster than usual, an indignant pout peeking out from behind the makeup. 

“Your little sister had a baby, you said you wanted to go immediately..then you went right back to putting on makeup. I promise, she won’t remember what you look like, she probably barely opens her eyes to see anyway–” 

Cashmere gasps, lips falling open in shock. “First impressions are everything, Enobaria! She may not remember but I will! Besides…what if I want a picture with my niece. Oh my god. I have a niece. My sister had a baby. My sister had a baby.”

Enobaria sits herself on the edge of the bed with a soft smile, watching Cashmere silently speed through her makeup routine, every once in a while pausing to stare straight down so the tears can fall out of her eyes and onto the floor rather than down her face. Cashmere loves deeply, and Enobaria never can get past the fact she gets to experience being part of that. 

Cashmere is shuffling through the closet, holding up various options for Enobaria to judge, when her phone lights up again. 

“Look at that, looks like Gloss just woke up too. I’d pay to be a fly on the wall next door right now, I’m shocked we didn’t hear him scream through the walls.” Enobaria nods towards the lit-up screen, where Cashmere’s brother was already responding. 

On my way right now.

Cashmere throws both outfits she holds in her hands down, and is frantically sliding her slippers on to run down stairs. 

“Cash? Where are you-”

“Gloss cannot beat me to that baby.” She calls back up, before she opens the front door to that chilling February air in her seasonally inappropriate pajamas. “Bye Enobaria! Love you!”

Enobaria can barely slip out an “I love you too,” before the door slams behind Cashmere. 

Cashmere full on runs across the street in her slippers and pajamas, careful not to slip on the icy street, nearly making it all the way to Glimmer’s front door when something absolutely collides into her from the side. 

“What do you think you’re doing-” Gloss taunts, wrapping his arms around his sister’s waist to pull her back, and push her gently a few feet behind him. “I’m meeting her first,”

“Like hell you are-” Cashmere kicks her legs helplessly against his knees, and as soon as he puts her down she slides right between him and the door. “You aren’t claiming to know her longer, Gloss, I’m not stupid, you’ve done that with Glimmer for twenty four years.”

“Well I am her favorite, I did meet her first.” Gloss slides his arm right in front of Cash, wedging himself flush against Glimmer’s front double doors. 

“Yeah by ten seconds!” Cashmere tries to slip in front of his legs, fully intending to trip him when the door opens to give herself a couple seconds of a head start. It does not feel like they are in their thirties, but rather the little six year olds excitedly sitting on the bottom of their staircase waiting for their mother to let them see their new little sister. 

“Ten seconds is still ten seconds more than you’ve known her-” 

Gloss is interrupted when the doors swing open, and Cashmere does succeed in tripping him– directly on top of her. 

“Good morning!” Marvel greets as he swings open the door, and instinctively steps out of the way just in time for Gloss to come down on top of his sister to avoid being brought into the pile himself. “Lots of patience this morning I see..”

“You landed on my nose, Gloss.” Cashmere whines, pushing the body of her brother off of her, before rolling out from under him. “My knees are going to bruise– Marvel! Where is my sister!”

“Nice to see you too, Cash.” He jokes lightheartedly, a tired but teasing smile unable to be wiped from his face. Any real malice between them had been wiped away when he married their sister late last summer, as soon as they could possibly do so while having the wedding Glimmer wanted. Now, it was just the teasing air of near siblings between him and the twins, a welcome energy for the now orphaned boy who grew up with no siblings of his own anyway. “She’s right in there–”

He does not get to finish his directions before Cashmere gracefully jumps over her brother’s body and nearly runs into the living room just beyond the entrance way. 

Cashmere feels like her legs are going to give out from under her when she sees her little sister.

Glimmer is curled up in the middle of the couch, legs crossed under her, looking not too different from Cashmere. From what Cash can see from under the fuzzy blanket on her lap, she’s even got on the same pajamas–not surprising considering who they were. When she flashes her older sister a tired smile she somehow looks both more exhausted and yet happier than Cashmere has ever seen her. 

The most notable difference, of course, is the little tiny baby in Glimmer’s left arm. 

“Hi, Cashy.” Glimmer whispers softly, looking up at her older sister before down at the baby in her arm..at her baby in her arms. “Come over here,”

“Hi Glimmy…” Cashmere whispers just as softly, a full 180 from the loud, aggressive way she pushed past her brother literal moments prior. “You had the baby!” Awe fills her voice as she approaches her sister, lowering herself to the space directly next to her sister so close that their legs pressed together. 

“I had a baby.” Glimmer agrees, leaning her head on her sister’s shoulder and letting out a heavy sigh, clearly exhausted more than she wanted to let on. “I had a baby.” 

Glimmer props the baby in the bend of her elbow up into her hand so Cashmere can get a good look at her. She was little, absolutely swimming in the little red outfit Glimmer had her dressed in. Looking closer Cashmere realized what she thought were pink polka dots were individually embroidered hearts all over her, without a doubt the work of her sister. In the exact same shade of pink as the hearts was a little bow on her head, that somehow looked massive compared to the impossibly little size of this baby. Despite even the bow Cashmere could see this baby had a lot of blonde hair on her itty bitty head. 

“She’s so tiny!” Cashmere reaches her hand out to run her finger over the little round cheek of her niece– god she had a niece, her sister had a real, live baby– and her fingertips grazed the tips of blonde hair. “When I saw you yesterday I didn’t think you were going to have a baby.”

“She definitely did not feel tiny at the end there, but yeah..she is. She’s not even five entire pounds, she’s so much smaller than I thought she would be!”  Glimmer smiles as her new baby scrunches her nose at the sound of a new voice, but doesn’t quite feel drawn to open her eyes to take in the faces associated with it yet. “I…had a feeling she was coming today. But you were talking about your plans with Enobaria and you were so excited! I figured they wouldn’t get here until tonight and I could call you this afternoon..she had her own plans I guess. She’s just dramatic.” 

“Glimmer! You could have told me you were having a baby, Enobaria would have understood.” Cashmere tsks in disbelief,  but doesn’t look away from the baby for even a minute. 

“Well you’re here now. And she’s only like…ten hours old. So you didn’t miss much. And she is soooo much cuter now, she was all squished when she came out I was worried she wasn’t going to be cute–” Glimmer stops herself, instead grounding herself in the way her sister so reverently touched her daughter. “...do you want to hold her, Cash?”

“Do I?! Of course–” Cashmere doesn’t even get the chance to finish before Glimmer is oh so gently transferring the baby to her awaiting arms. “Oh..” It feels like her heart is in her throat as she feels the weight of this tiny little girl in her arms, and she feels those tears rushing to her eyes faster than she can stop them. “I’m going to cry my makeup right off onto her!”

“She’ll still think you’re beautiful, I promise.” Glimmer muses, a content smile a permanent fixture on her face as she rests her chin on Cashmere’s shoulder. “I’m obsessed with her.”

“She looks just like you.” The older blonde admits with nothing short of reverence for the little person her sister made. “You looked just like this.” 

“Hey. This isn’t fair!” Comes the teasing voice of Gloss at the same time he sits himself firmly on the other side of Glimmer. “How come she got to hold her first?”

“You held Glimmer first, it’s only fair.” Cash teases, but doesn’t even look over at her brother, not daring to look away from the little baby who somehow slept so peacefully despite all the noise. 

“What’s her name?” Gloss reaches across his sisters to touch his niece’s little onesie covered foot, causing her to retract it up towards her chest.

“Well… we spent a lot of time thinking about it.” Glimmer begins, glancing up and giving an almost imperceivable nod to Marvel that is missed by her siblings who were too enamored with her daughter to notice. “Obviously she doesn’t have our last name but..everyone knows how good Belcourt gold is.” Neither of her siblings look at her, both absolutely wonderstruck by the person she created. “We wanted something that was pretty but not too District One. I’ve been called Glitter and Shimmer more times than I can count and Marvel..he’s called Marble half the time.”

Glimmer glances up when she sees Marvel in the corner of the room, and gives a sly smile neither of her siblings see as she watches him lean down to scoop something pink into his arms.

“Her name’s Aurelia. It means Golden. Gold. Something like that. We thought it was pretty. It meant what we wanted.” Glimmer reaches out and puts her hand on top of her sister’s. “Aurelia Cashmere. Because we couldn’t entirely abandon a District One name.”

Cashmere’s head shoots up, and she can barely see her sister through the tears that are completely obscuring her vision. “Really? You…really?”

“I would not have survived without you. I wouldn’t be here.” Glimmer admits with her own tears brimming at her eyes, and with the hand not co-holding her daughter she wipes them away. 

Marvel goes mostly unnoticed by Cashmere and Gloss, until he is standing directly in front of them and his voice breaks through the Belcourt siling reverie. “...and this is her sister.”

Glimmer is glad she has a hold on her baby when both of her siblings’ whip their heads up to face her husband, and she can’t help the genuine laugh that escapes her at the gasp they let out in unison. 

“What- huh- where- what!” Gloss whips his head between Marvel and Glimmer, his mouth actually hanging agape. “Where did you get that one?” 

“From me.” Glimmer feels a smirk coming to her face as she sits up straight between them, feeling confident in Cashmere’s grasp on Aurelia before she faces her brother. “We didn’t steal a second one.”

“Fun fact. The type of twin that the girls are is completely unrelated to the type of twin you two are. We thought that was what happened but…nope! I’m just lucky! Buy one get one free babies!” Marvel sits on the wooden coffee table in front of them, his other daughter sleeping peacefully in his right arm. Much like Glimmer he has a seemingly permanent smile etched on to his face, which somehow gets even wider when he looks down at the slightly bigger baby in his arms. She’s dressed opposite of her sister, in a little pink onesie with the same hand embroidered hearts (only in red) and the corresponding red bow. 

“Do you want to hold her?” Glimmer addresses her brother, nodding towards the baby Marvel holds. “There’s one for each of you.”

“Absolutely I do, what kind of question is that?” Gloss takes his other niece from his brother-in-law, and somehow despite being the bigger baby she looks even smaller in his massive arms. “Where the hell were you hiding a second one in there Glimmer, you were tiny.”

“Your guess is as good as mine. She’s the bigger one, though. She’s just over five pounds, but even together, that's less than ten pounds of baby.” Glimmer reaches out to adjust the red bow on the other baby’s tiny blonde head. “They’re identical, and they’re kinda early so…that probably helped.” She leans back on the couch, letting her twin siblings hold her twin daughters, and sighs in contentment that they finally knew the secret she’s held for nearly nine months.

“...you knew they’d come today because you knew they’d be early because there were two.” Cashmere mumbles in understanding, leaning over to look at her other niece, absolutely identical to the one she holds in her arms. “Why didn’t you tell us! I have to go home and order another one of everything I’ve bought for her…them…whichever!  I need to go order double now!”

“Well…” Glimmer lifts her eyes to meet Marvel’s, and gives him a tired, but delighted grin. “After…everything…when I found out I was pregnant-”

“And everyone we know knew before me-” Marvel interrupts playfully, getting a teasing kick on the ankle from Glimmer.

“....and everyone but Marvel knew… We just wanted to keep it a secret. Just for us.” Glimmer admits, leaning back forward to appreciate the awestruck look of her siblings as they looked back and forth between her daughters. 

“...I told you, Cash.” Gloss teases, looking between their nieces. “I had that feeling there were two.”

“...why did you think that?” Glimmer raises a suspicious eyebrow, trying to understand the hidden communication between her siblings. In that moment she realizes she will have to try to understand this twin telepathy between her own daughters one day as well, before she is brought back to the question at hand. 

“He didn’t think it! He made a joke one time that it would be your luck. Don’t believe him..” Cashmere narrows her blue eyes, before choosing to focus instead on Aurelia in her arms. 

Cashmere gives Gloss a look, and gestures her head down to the baby in her arms. For a second Glimmer thinks they’re going to trade, but when Gloss hands over the baby he held Cashmere maintains her grip on them both. If she were sobbing before she is completely inconsolable now as she holds both of her sister’s little girls in her arms. 

Gloss takes the moment to wrap an arm around Glimmer’s shoulders and kiss the crown of her head. “We’re proud of you. Even if you are our favorite little unwed mother with her bastard children–”

“Hey! We got married as soon as we could!” Marvel defends, but doesn’t press on the issue when he realizes that Glimmer is narrowing her eyes playfully before rolling them at her brother’s antics. 

“But I will always be able to do the math of which came first. And I know which came first. Don’t forget that.” He warns Marvel, and there is an edge to his voice that just might not be entirely joking. “Give me the other baby, Cash.”

He gives her no time to argue and simply slips his arms underneath Aurelia, pulling the tiniest girl right into his arms. “I’m going to go out on a limb and say her name is unfortunately, not girl glossy, as I seem to remember you liking when you were little.”

Glimmer lets the baby Cash remains holding wrap her little hand around her finger, and gives Gloss an appreciative, yet sleepy, smile. “Unfortunately, no. We did say that if one had been a boy, his middle name would have been Gloss and if I have a boy in the future, that will be his middle name. But they’re both my girls…and we’ve known they were both girls for a while now.”

“I seem to remember a little four year old girl who insisted girl Glossy and Cashy were the only acceptable names for her dolls, because the only names twins could have were Cashmere and Gloss.” Gloss taunts, but flashes her a reassuring smile to assure her there’s no real offense taken. The longer he looks at her the more he can see the four year old little girl she once was, with those two little blonde baby dolls she carried everywhere with her, that somehow became a twenty four year old girl with another set of two blonde little babies.

Glimmer leans back against the back of the couch, and tucks herself more firmly under the plush white blanket. She looks from her siblings holding her children, to the man who can’t take his eyes off of her. As she twists her wedding rings around her finger, Glimmer feels the happiest she has ever been in her entire life.  

“Yeah, well, fortunately for my daughters, that little girl grew up.” She teases, before revealing the name of their other daughter. 

—————————————————————————————————

“Alright, Cato. Final guess. Baby or trying to guilt us into doing something for them?” Clove crosses her arms over her chest as they continue to wait on the front porch of Glimmer and Marvel’s house. 

“It’s got to be they want us to do something. Marvel would have sent some grossly sappy text if she had the baby. They’re definitely going to guilt you into making them dinner again. Or Marvel has something else he needs help building.” Cato leans against the frame of the porch, crossing his ankle over the opposite one impatiently. “I hope it isn’t a baby. Isn’t she supposed to come in March or something?”

“I dunno, they called us twenty-two times. That feels bigger than shrimp scampi.” Clove slides her fingers under the hem of Cato’s shirt, warming her freezing hands against the heat of his skin. “Marvel’s still got splinters from the swing-set, anyway.”

“At least his wrist healed and he can hold the baby if that's what it is. He’s the only person I know who could win an entire Hunger Games but somehow break his wrist by building a kid’s toy.” Cato wraps both arms around her shoulders, pulling her close enough that the heat that rolled off of him could directly warm her in the brisk winter weather. “I just really hope her name isn’t actually sunlight or whatever, I don’t think I can seriously call a child that without laughing at her every single time. Enobaria’s bet is on the other one.. Gold or something else ridiculous.”

“You know we are right on the other side of the door, right?” Marvel swings the front door open, glaring at his two friends. “And it wasn’t Sunlight. It was Sunshine.”

Clove buries her face in Cato’s chest to stifle a laugh, before letting herself into the house right past Marvel without the invitation to do so. They had spent plenty of time together to be beyond formalities at this point. “At least it isn’t Astonishment or Amazing, right Marvelous?” Clove taunts, kicking off her shoes as soon as she’s in the door. “Let me guess… you want me to teach you how to make tomato soup to go with that grilled cheese now, right?”

Marvel doesn’t even get a chance to answer as Cato and Clove simply let themselves into the house, heading right to the living room as if they live there (and to be fair, they once did).

“What the Fuck.” Slips oh so eloquently out of Clove’s mouth the moment she sees Glimmer on the recliner, curled up with something very very very clearly laying in her arms.

Once the twins had left a couple of hours ago, Glimmer found that the recliner was significantly more comfortable to hold and feed both girls at the same time in, and as such had taken a permanent place in for the time being. 

“Nice to see you too, Clove.” Glimmer teases, rubbing tiny circles on her baby’s back, the tiny girl feeling even smaller as she swims in the too-big pink onesie. “What a great first thing to say to my baby!” Unlike when Cashmere and Gloss had come hours ago, the baby was far more awake now, little green eyes looking around hazily at the world around her but never seeing much beyond her mother who held her. 

“She better get used to it eventually,” Clove says, though there is a softness in her voice that is so beyond anything Glimmer has ever heard from her, as she quickly closes the space between them. Clove sits on the arm of the chair, looking down at the little girl in Glimmer’s arm. “Oh my god you two are wearing matching clothes. Of course you are.”

Unlike Cashmere, Clove does not dare to touch her. She knows there are tiny little feet hidden in the bottom of that heart covered onesie, but all she can picture is the way her skin crawled when Glimmer tried to get her to feel those same feet through her skin only a week or two ago. 

“How old is she?” Cato comes to the other side of Glimmer, also glancing down at the little baby she cradled so close to her. Unlike his wife he does not have any fear of the baby, and reaches down to touch her tiny hand that is smaller than his fingertip. “She’s tiny.”

“She was born just after midnight.” Marvel answers, this time joining the three of them. He didn’t need to give Glimmer a moment alone like he had with her siblings– it was different, with the four of them. “She’s just over five pounds.”

“...you had a baby fifteen hours ago?” Clove raises her head after she calculates quickly. “And you’re home? Just..hanging out?”

“I have a lot of bad memories in like..medical settings. I wanted out as soon as I could. And they said we were all okay so..we got to come home this morning.” Glimmer smiles down at her daughter, glancing up at Clove. “And she’s gotten much cuter in the last fifteen hours! When she came out she was all squishy and I was crying…only slightly because I thought she was going to be ugly. I didn’t know how we made an ugly baby I mean look at us but–”

“She was not ugly Glim,” Marvel lectures gently, but rubs a tired hand down the side of his face. “She was just..she wasn’t ugly. She was never going to ever possibly be ugly, look at you.”

 “Anyway! She’s gotten much cuter!” Glimmer explains with a warm, truly joyful smile as she brings the baby down to rest on her propped up knees, fitting perfectly in the crease between her thighs where both Cato and Clove could look at her more completely. 

“You look so so happy.” Clove admits, slightly in awe. Despite the fact that her braids were a little frizzy and she did look somewhat tired…Glimmer was nothing short of truly glowing. She had never seen her so genuinely happy in all the time she had known her.

“I have never been happier in my entire life, Clove. I’m tired, and I’m not feeling great physically but, god Clove. I have never been happier.” Glimmer looks down at her daughter, who’s already fallen back completely asleep with her face on the silk of her mother’s pajamas. “Clove..do you want to hold her?”

“Huh? Um..you know what, I don’t think that’s a great idea, I haven’t practiced and she’s really important and I don’t know if I want to risk it-” Clove almost rambles, and takes just a slight step back away from Glimmer and the baby in her arms. 

“She was scared of my sister, too, back when she was a baby.” Cato teases, an amused smirk on his face as he watches the way his tough, scary wife seems almost afraid of this little baby. 

“I’m not scared of her, I don’t want to hurt her, she’s little and I've never done it and–” Clove insists, taking half a step back before Glimmer reaches out and gently grabs her at her wrist. 

“Clove. Ask me her name.” Glimmer directs, gently pulling her friend’s hand and giving Clove no choice but to touch her little foot hat she was so scared of weeks ago. “Ask me what I named my daughter.” 

Clove stares with wide, fear filled green eyes as Glimmer gives her no choice but to touch the tiny features of this child. She feels a tightness in her throat as Glimmer brings her hand just high enough that the baby can wrap the entirety of her hand around just one of Clove’s lithe fingers.  “....what’s her name?’”

“Her name is Stella.” Glimmer begins, pulling her hand up to rest on top of Clove’s, so she can not shrink away from the baby’s grasp suddenly. 

“Oh thank god it isn’t actually sunshine,” Cato audibly sighs in relief, and Marvel has to physically pull him away before Glimmer would get a chance to get any injury on him. 

“Stella means sunlight, actually. Sunshine..sunlight..sun..something. It means what we wanted it to. She’s our little sunshine.” Marvel explains, gently running the back of his hand over Glimmer’s knee absently. 

“In District One there’s sort of traditions when it comes to names. I know you think we have ridiculous names, and maybe we do. But when it comes to middle names, it’s sort of a tradition to name them after someone you would trust with them. Or that you want them to be like. Or who means a lot to you. We kind of did all of the above.” Glimmer starts, glancing up at Clove to see if she could understand where she was heading with her explanation, but the way she is frozen with her eyes on the baby tells Glimmer that no, she’s not quite grasping it yet. “My middle name comes from my mom’s best friend. So does hers..” 

Cato must catch on, because he lets out a soft “oh,” before his hand comes up to squeeze Glimmer’s shoulder gently in recognition and appreciation. 

“....her name is Stella Clove.” Glimmer spells out, squeezing Clove’s hand where she is holding it to the baby. 

The news is enough to pull Cato and Clove’s attention both enough to Glimmer that Marvel is able to slip to the other side of the room again, just as he had done when Glimmer’s siblings came to meet their children. 

Clove is able to direct her eyes first to Cato, then finally is able to meet Glimmer’s eyes as she holds her hand even tighter. “You..thats-that's my name.”

“Because we love you, Clove. We have gone through hell together, all of us, Clove.” Marvel chimes in from across the room, but none of them look over at him. Clove is locked in on Glimmer and the baby, and Cato is watching Clove. 

“You were quite literally tortured with Marvel. Cato and I only survived in Thirteen with the thought of you two. And then you single handedly helped me get better. You fed me, and made me feel safe, and gave me something to do in planning your wedding…you taught Marvel to cook, you fed me for the last two years. I got better enough to have her because of you. And besides, Clove. You’re my best friend. I trust you with her.”

“...and we’d trust you with her sister, too.” Marvel calls out from directly in front of Cato and Clove, little miss Aurelia now sleeping in his arms, and once again he gets the reaction that he waited nine entire months for. 

Clove gasps in newfound fear, “Oh my god..what the-did you know there were going to be two or was that a surprise, please tell me you knew there was going to be two–”

“Holy shit you had a whole litter Glimmer!” Cato’s jaw drops in disbelief, but instead of the genuine fear in Clove’s eyes at the thought of a second surprise child Glimmer didn’t know of, he’s beyond thrilled at this grand reveal. “Oh this is so cool! Is there a third somewhere too?”

“Excuse me, I did not have a litter, Cato. There were two. That’s a normal amount of babies.” Glimmer sits forward indignantly, holding out her empty arm to take her second daughter into her arms. “And yes, Clove, I knew there were two. Don’t worry, you aren’t going to have a surprise twins one day, I promise.”

“How long have you known there were two?” Cato grins even wider somehow, looking at the two girls in their coordinating outfits snuggled into Glimmer’s arms. 

“We’ve known…hmm at least a month or so before the wedding, right?” Glimmer confirms with Marvel, glancing down at both her babies, who fit so perfectly in her arms it’s as if they were made to be there (and they were). “And we’ve known they were both girls for about that long, too.”

“We didn’t tell anyone since everyone knew about them before me.” Marvel reminds them with a playful little smile, reaching over to let Stella hold his finger, now. “I’ve been waiting nine months to see people’s reaction and no one has disappointed yet.” 

Cato cocks his head to the side, looking at the size of the two babies as if he is imagining them smushed together in a small space. “I can’t figure out how two fit.”

Clove has settled herself on the floor next to the rest of them, leaning forward to rest her head in her hands so she can settle her breathing and calm her mind from the way it spins a million miles a minute. “...I’ve been calculating how much you need to eat based on one baby, have we been starving the other?! Is that why they’re so small?”

“Trust me, Clove, I ate plenty. They’re very healthy girls. They’re just small because there were two of them sharing me.” Glimmer assured her, before drawing her attention back to her identical girls in her arms. 

“How can you tell them apart? Are you going to color code them?” Cato lowers himself next to Clove, bringing his hand up to rub circles on her back, trying to comfort her as she tries her best to ground herself back in reality. “What's the other one’s name?”

“No, we aren’t going to color code them, Cato. We’ll figure it out. We’re their parents.” Marvel shakes his head with a silly smile, before taking the same twin from earlier from his wife. “Stella is in the pink. The one in the red, this is Aurelia.”

“Those are such normal names! Good job.” Cato leans over to get a good look at the other baby, and sure enough, she was absolutely identical to the first. “What’s that one mean?”

“Aurelia means Gold, and my family was in gold distribution before the war.” Glimmer explains, before she brings the baby up to her shoulder where she curls up almost immediately against her mother’s chest. She absently kisses the top of her little blonde hair, closing her eyes for just a moment to soak in the fresh, new baby smell of her.

“....you mean you really did name them golden and sunshine? I thought that was a joke when Finnick told me you liked Sunshine and Enobaria mentioned Golden. I thought this was all fake.” Cato raises a blonde eyebrow, glancing between the two of them. “That’s unbelievable.”

“I thought it was funny to tell people different names, when they were technically the right names. It’s been fun to watch the infighting. Gloss was so convinced he was given the right name he started having things embroidered with her initials.” Marvel explains, bringing Aurelia’s little fist up to his mouth so he can kiss her hand gently. “Fortunately we told him sunshine so fortunately Stella has the same initials.” 

“You had twins fifteen hours ago and are already home?” Clove reiterates her awe from earlier, finally looking up at her friend in absolute utter disbelief. “Where did you hide the second one? You’re so tiny. I can’t believe this. These babies were literally inside of you like..yesterday.”

“They were both in there, I promise, Clove.” Glimmer assures her yet again, nothing but amusement on her pretty face, resting her cheek on top of her girl’s soft little head. “We didn’t steal one.” 

“...which one is the runt of the litter?” Cato pipes up, looking between Glimmer and Marvel both, sizing up the babies they respectively held. He points at the one Marvel holds, judging that to be the littler one. “That one. Can I hold her? I want to be her favorite.”

“For fucks sake they aren’t a litter, they’re twins, and yes Aurelia is smaller. Yes, you can hold her, if you stop calling her the runt.” Glimmer warns playfully as Marvel shifts the smaller of the babies to Cato’s arms. 

As Marvel oh so gently places Aurelia in his arms, Cato glances up at his friend. “What’s it like?”

“The best thing that I've ever experienced in my entire life.” Marvel admits with the most genuine, happy smile Cato had ever actually seen from him. After all those days he had watched him yearn after Glimmer… he’d most certainly earned it.

If she looked small before, she looks absolutely unreal compared to the sheer size of Cato’s arms. 

“That baby is the size of your hand.” Clove murmurs in literal awe, moving closer to Cato so she can get a better look at the way his arm wraps around such a small human. She reaches out and grabs the hand that is not holding the baby, and holds it directly next to her entire body. “Literally, Cato. She is the size of your hand.”

“She’s actually smaller than my hand when she’s all curled up like this.” Cato points out, but he can’t help but absolutely light up as the baby squirms to get comfortable in his arms.“Is she smaller because you made us tighten your dress so much at your wedding?”

“Make it tighter.” Glimmer leans forward, hands bracing on the wall in front of her to push her shoulders closer together to give them more room to tighten the corset back of her dress. It was the one and only tight part of the entire dress, the bodice of which she had painstakingly hand beaded for weeks, before the dress ballooned out over her hips into a full ivory silk skirt. This was the one and only part she needed tightened, and by god she was going to have it done. 

“Glimmer, we have it as tight as we can…” Cashmere assures, tugging the very top of the dress tighter so Clove could get any extra tension on the silky laces, which fails. “It looks great-”

“It can get tighter. Listen to me, I absolutely refuse to look pregnant in these pictures, you are going to get this tight enough.” Glimmer snaps over her shoulder, linking eyes with her sister-in-law of sorts from across the room. “Enobaria get over here and fix it.”

“Glimmer, you are pregnant though, and literally every one of us here knows that.” Enobaria tries, but the desperate look in Cashmere’s big eyes staring at her has her coming over to help anyway. She gently pushes Clove to the side, and twists the laces in her hands before giving a firm tug that does not budge the dress even an inch. “This isn’t coming any tighter.”

“Like hell it isn’t. I made this dress, I know how tight it can go.” Glimmer warns, ignoring the fact she had made it five pounds ago. She grabs Clove by the upper arm before directing her, “go get Finnick, Cato, and Gloss.”

“Glimmer you’re not even that pregnant, you don’t look it at all. What are you like..three months? You look great!” Cashmere tries, but the look of rage in Glimmer’s eyes is not one to be messed with, and she quickly agrees with a frantic nod “...yeah Clove, go get Cato, Gloss, and Finnick.”

“All three?” Clove raises an eyebrow in disbelief, resting her hands on her hips hesitantly. “I feel like that's extreme. Who’s going to keep Marvel from having too many mimosas, you know that man loves a mimosa, if no one's there to babysit-”

“Get them. Now.” 

Clove’s hands come up in defeat as she slips out the bedroom door to track down the boys, and she says a silent prayer that at least one of them is coherent enough to actually help. 

She returned a few moments later, with all three of the requested men in her presence, and fortunately mostly coherent. 

“Don’t you look cute in your little pink dress.” Cato teases his wife on the walk by, leaning in to kiss the shoulder the one is not covered by the mauve pink satin, pinching where the fabric gathers at her waist on his walk by. “Is the glitter supposed to be there or is that from Glimmer?” 

“Aww, Glimmy you look so pretty in your shotgun wedding dress.” Gloss grins, nudging Cashmere out of the way to take her place holding the top of the dress shut. “You can’t even tell you’re pregnant, you did a good job on this!” 

“Oh shut up.” Glimmer scowls at her brother, getting beyond annoyed at the sound of all of them even breathing at this point until her dress was fixed. “Cato. You’re the one who will be least afraid to hurt me, You need to make this tighter.” 

“Tighter where? I could literally wrap both my hands around your waist, Glimmer.” Finnick teases, coming around to stand in front of Glimmer so he can force the fabric shut from another angle. It is clear from the way he so effortlessly slides into position that he already knows how to do this from many days and nights together in the Capitol as teenagers. 

“I don’t want to crush your kid. What if it comes out all fucked up? You’ll blame me.” Cato hesitates, unwilling to take the strings from Enobaria’s waiting hands. Clove stifles a laugh behind his broad shoulders, where Glimmer could not see, and gently nudges him forward. 

“Will you just fucking do what I ask? For once you can stop running your mouth and just do it?” Glimmer hisses at him, bracing her arms on Finnck’s shoulders. 

“Well if you’re going to be bitchy.” Cato grabs the lacing from Enobaria’s hand and twists it firmly around his two middle fingers. “Hold it tight.” He directs Finnick and Gloss both, before he gives a firm tug with his hands, somehow managing to pull the dress at least an inch tighter by sheer force, before he transfers the taut strings to Clove’s dexterous hands for her to tie it off far more prettily than he would have.  “Don’t bitch at me when you can’t breathe.”

And when, after the pictures are over, and Glimmer needs to literally be cut out of the corset by Clove so that she can take a deep breath, she does not dare complain. 

At least her pictures look good. 

“..no, Cato, you did not make my baby small by tightening my wedding dress. You did not crush her.”

Glimmer once again gathers Clove’s attention, gently tapping her knee with her foot. “You will not hurt her, Clove. It would mean a lot to me if you would hold her. I trust you. You won’t hurt her. Please?” 

Clove braces herself, and gives such a small nod of assent. Cato makes it look so easy, and there is something about the boyish smile on his face that makes her wonder if there is some magic to be unlocked in holding one of them. Besides, she can’t hurt Glimmer’s feelings, not over something as important as this. 

Glimmer gives a relieved smile and oh so gently places her daughter in the arms of her best friend. Despite the fact Clove feels paralyzed by fear of hurting her or dropping her or somehow harming her she can’t help but smile at the tiny girl in her arms. She feels like she’s warming up a little, when the little girl settles contently against her. “Oh...she’s so little Glimmer…and she looks like you!”

“Thank god for that.” Cato mumbles in agreement, as Marvel feigns offense in the background, but does voice his own agreement that yes, thank god these little girls look like their mother. 

Glimmer relaxes against Marvel’s arms as he wraps them around her shoulders, kissing the top of her head as he does so. They watch as Cato and Clove sit side by side on the living room floor, each with a different variation of their best friends’ daughters in their arms.

Clove finds her eyes lingering a little too long, not on the little girl she holds, but on the size of Cato’s arms compared to the baby in his. She trails her eyes from his arms to his face, and there’s something in the way he looks at the little girl that she cannot exactly name, but the twisted feeling it creates in her stomach makes her think maybe she wants to see that look again. She doesn’t quite understand what that feeling she gets watching him with the baby is, but has a feeling that she may want to understand it. It feels like something has grabbed her heart and is pulling it directly through her throat when she catches the way he just  smiles at the tiny little baby in his arms. At some point, the frozen look of fear melts into a smile of her own. 

There’s a wriggling in her arms that redirects her attention to the baby she herself holds, and when that same baby wraps the entirety of her hand around Clove’s little finger, and beyond any reason she understands, she want to hold her closer.  Maybe it is because this is first baby she’s every held, or maybe it’s because she is the baby of her best friend. 

Cato looks up just in time to miss Clove looking at him, and maybe it’s a blessing, because he gets to spend just a few seconds watching her smile at the little blonde baby in her arms.

——————————————————————————————————

“That was the best shower I have ever taken in my entire life.” Glimmer announces proudly from the adjoining bathroom that connects to the bedroom where she knows Marvel waits. She tightens the soft pink bathrobe at her waist, before leaning forward and letting the towel in her hair fall to the floor. “I could see my feet again.” She muses, grabbing a brush and starting to brush out the tangles of wet waves that soak her shoulders. “And make the water as hot as I wanted….and be in my own body alone.” 

 (Not that she minded sharing of course.)

Glimmer sets down the brush as she looks around absently for her own pajamas that she had set out- something she could finally wear again now that she had (what she felt, at least) significantly decreased in size in the past twenty four hours. She settled on something both comfortable and convenient for the fact she had two needy little babies, and as comfortable as she had grown in Marvel’s sweaters, that would certainly come back to bite her in the middle of the night. 

She’s looking at herself in the mirror, doing her absolute best not to poke at her face or spend too long looking at body. It had given her not one but two little girls; two little girls she had dreamed of her entire life. How could she betray her body by hating it now? 

“Babe?” Glimmer calls out again, when she realizes he has yet to get a response from her husband. She goes to peak out into the bedroom, which at least has the lights still on, when she asks again, “Are you sleeping?”

She feels her heart flutter when she actually sees him, most certainly awake, but leaning against the headboard with a baby in each of his arms. He isn’t looking up at her, instead absolutely absorbing every little detail of the babies who were less than an entire day old still.

He half whispers, still not looking away from their newborn daughters he holds in his arms, “I don’t want to wake them up.”

“I love you.” Rolls off of her tongue so easily she couldn’t stop it if she tried– and god she doesn’t want to. 

As Glimmer slowly closes the gap, crawling into bed beside him and laying her head on his shoulder so she can look at their daughters with him. She can’t help but feel a little guilty. There was a time when she was so willing to rob them all of this. Not only herself and Marvel, but even robbing her daughters of a father who looked at them like that. 

Glimmer pulls herself out of her own mind and her hand reaches up to find his face, turning his chin to face her so she can kiss him with as much love and adoration as her exhausted body can muster. The events of the last 24 hours are starting to catch up with her, but she is not letting this moment and this memory slip away from her. She pulls away and rest her forehead against his, their noses just grazing across each others. “I love you so so much.”

“I love you too.” He promises, and the smile on his face assures her that he absolutely means it. “I don’t have a free hand to hold you right now. But I would if I could.”

“I see that.” Glimmer giggles, pulling her head back down to rest on his shoulder, stifling a yawn into his skin. “We have two babies.”

“One for each arm!” Marvel jokes lightly, looking at the two absolutely identical girls in each of his arms. Now in their little matching pink pajamas they were actually identical..they’d be so easy to mix up. 

Not to their parents of course, who insisted they could feel a difference in their weight. Marvel insisted one had eyes just slightly a different shade than Glimmer’s, and Glimmer insisted she could just tell because she knew which one was on which side and she just knew their personalities. 

They had swore they weren’t just going to name them based on birth order, and they absolutely weren’t telling anyone which one was older. She listened to enough arguments of Gloss holding being the older twin over Cashmere that she would lose her mind hearing the same in her own home. 

Glimmer insisted she’d know which one should be which, and sure enough she insisted Stella was Stella and Aurelia was Aurelia. Who was Marvel to argue?

“Really one for each of us,” Glimmer teases, reaching down to scoop miss Stella into her arms. She tucks her directly on her skin under the buttons of her shirt, letting the baby snuggle her face right under her collarbones. 

“This is the coolest thing i’ve ever done. Literally the best day of my entire life. And I didn’t even do anything!” Marvel insists, shifting Aurelia forward so her body was held in his hands rather than his arm. 

“Well. Technically you did something just..nine months ago. But! You handled the blood so well.” Glimmer assures him, rubnning her fingers over Stella’s head full of hair. “They have your curly hair, did you notice that?” She points out with a soft smile, looking over at the hint of curls on her other baby’s head too. 

“I did my best.” He laughs softly, before brushing his fingers over his twin’s head. “Thank god they really do look like you though. Just like you.” He brings one hand up to hold her face as he kisses her cheek, before he motions to get out of bed. “ Take her, too. I have to go get something.” 

“Mmkay.” Glimmer slips Aurelia onto her skin just like her sister, melting at the way they seemed to gravitate towards each other naturally. Of course they did– they never knew life apart from each other or from Glimmer, for that matter. 

“Hello my little loves.” She whispers to them both, and though they both are fully asleep, she continues to talk to them anyway. “I know you don’t know me yet, but i’m your mama.” She feels her voice crack before she hears it. It’s words she never thought she’d say, something she relinquished nine years ago out of love. 

Looking at them now, she knows it was the right decision. She’d never survive knowing her daughters would share the same fate as her. She wouldn’t survive their victory nor their deaths. No matter the outcome, the devastation would have killed her.  They can probably feel the way her heart pounds in her chest at even the thought, which is somehow infinitely more horrific now that those little girls she dreamed of have faces and names. “I’m your mother.” 

She thought there would be nothing better in the world than holding her daughters. She had dreamed of it for twenty years, and even once she had long given up on the blonde, green eyed little girls in her dreams she never stopped imagining how it would feel. Somehow, someway, it is the best thing she has ever felt.

It feels even better knowing that unlike her, unlike their father, unlike Cashmere, unlike Gloss, Finnick, Johanna, unlike even Cato and Clove they would be safe. They’re safe. 

“Are you okay?” Startles her back into reality, and though she can’t wipe away the tears that now freely flow down her face, Marvel reaches down and does. “What’s wrong?”

“They’re safe.” Glimmer explains, leaning her head back against the headboard so that the tears she cries do not land on her babies but rather run down her face. “We have two little girls and they’re going to be safe. We’re parents.”

“We’re parents.” He reiterates, and the awe in his voice is not any less than in her own. It’s just as unbelievable to him as it is to her, if not somehow more. “You made them, Glimmer. You. You made them and they’re going to be just fine.”

Glimmer nods, and looks down at his hands, a sentimental smile coming to her face as she sees the ivory cake in his hands. “You really did it.”

Glimmer let out a sigh of something between relief, contentment, and exhaustion as she threaded her arms around Marvel’s shoulders. When her hands joined around his neck, she found herself fiddling with the new band of diamonds that now accompanied the other ring on her finger. His arms threaded around her waist, and pulled her as flush against him as the second dress would allow. Much like the first, it was largely sparkling tulle, except instead of beading at the top it was composed of draping of the same white tulle as the bottom with off the shoulder sleeves that rested on the middle of her upper arm. Naturally she couldn’t settle on one dress. 

Still, despite the incredible density of the tulle, with her this close against him he was sure he could feel the absolute slightest bit of roundness at the very bottom of her torso. She insisted it wasn’t there– he knew better. 

“I can’t believe I actually got you to marry me. Everyone knows you’re soooo out of my league.” He teases, leaning down to kiss the top of her head, careful not to disturb the elaborate pins and twists. 

“Who knew all it would take was an accidental baby.” Glimmer taunts in response, resting her head against his chest to stifle a little yawn, and takes a moment to watch their friends from their place against the wall. “Clove said she’s going to take half the cake and go have sex in a closet as payback. Cato’s absolutely drunk enough to actually do it.”

“To be fair it was two accidental babies. I am an overachiever like that.” Marvel ran his hands over the bare skin of her upper back, squeezing absently as he joined her in observing their friends. “Cato would do that stone cold sober. Besides if thats their payback? Fine. I think our girls could use a friend close in age, right?”

Glimmer hummed, giggling just slightly as she honed in on Clove and Cato, Clove fully in his lap, both of them long past hammered. “I can promise they did not mean that part. Looks like they might actually just do it in front of everyone. They’re worse than animals.” She slides her arms from around his neck down so she can wrap them both around his torso, pulling herself closer to him. “Our girls sounds so nice.” 

As truly frightening that moment had been, to see not one but two little bean sized babies were inside of her, and all the fear that came along with that, it was worth it the second she saw the wide smile plastered across his face and the look in his eyes. It had been even more worth it, when a few days later, she found out they were both girls. Her girls. 

“I can’t wait to have them.” She admitted, resting her chin on his chest as she looked up at him. “I also can’t wait for a piece of that cake.”

“Well we did try every bakery in District One before settling on that specific white cake with vanilla icing. As opposed to all the others.  It’s an exciting moment.” Marvel agrees, squeezing her upper gently. “I think i’m going to save a piece of it for when the girls get here. It’ll be like their birthday cake.”

“As if you would leave it alone in the freezer that long.”

“Of course I did it. I keep my promises.” Marvel held up the single fork he brought up with him. “If you notice, it is also fully in tact as well. I didn’t even take a sample. We only have a few more hours to eat it, it’s still technically their birthday.”

He hands out a bite of it towards Glimmer, who leans forward as much as she can to get a taste of it. A little crumb falls on Aurelia’s little head, which has Glimmer stifling back a laugh that has her nearly waking the girls with the motion of her chest. 

“They’ll get used to it.” Marvel waves off, before he takes some for himself. A few moments pass, as they savor the last piece of cake from their wedding some six months ago. 

Once finished, Marvel carefully pulls Stella out of her mother’s arms and into his own arms. “I feel like we need to keep switching them. So they don’t feel like we have a favorite.” 

“How long do you suggest we keep doing that?” She teases, before kissing his shoulder, and resting her head on it. There is a peace beyond anything she has ever experienced in her entire life, and she is not sure she will ever come close to the happiness she feels in this moment ever again. 

“The rest of their lives, actually.” Marvel brushes off, bringing little Stella to his left arm so that she was still close to both her mother and her sister.

Glimmer notices the way his eyes are hovering over her and Aurelia, as well as Stella who he holds in the arm closest to her. She raises an eyebrow, a suspicious smile coming to her face. “What are you looking at me like that for?”

“I’m just looking at my girls.”

I once believed love would be black and white…but it’s Golden. Like daylight. 

[jovenshires]

9, 10, 28, 29 bestie !!

tyyyy bestie <3<3<3

9. What fic meant the most to you to write?

my wife, my best friend, the project i will always carry with me, dancing on my own. nothing like dealing with your own issues through the lens of a gamer boy who lives off of mountain dew kickstart and jurassic park movies <3<3

10. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

if we keep score was so so so much fun!!!! it really took on a life of its own and i LOVE to worldbuild so even though it was Stressful, i had a good time writing it for sure <3<3<3

28. How did you recharge between fics?

as i told you specifically i literally took like. a work week off. i listened to music, i binge-watched an anime, i went back to work after winter break, i read some of a book. it was great! back to the grind now though <3<3<3

29. If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

i was gonna answer this like a joke but it made me emotional so here are my genuine very real thanks KLNFKNFKLNFKNL

i'd like to thank smosh first and foremost for getting me through what has objectively been one of the most difficult years of my life. the company's been through ups and downs, but so have i, and i find a real genuine comfort in these guys playing board games and making memes so truly thanks so much to them. especially tommy and spencer bc where would i be without them KDNKLSNFK

thanks of course to soupy for being the second person to post a spommy fic and co-pioneering this nation with me. i am so honored to have her as a mutual, a friend, and a peer. her works are incredible and she jumped into the deep end with me when no one else would. and to add onto that i'd like to thank every spommy writer for sharing all of their incredible works, and every spommy nation member for commenting or giving kudos or coming into my askbox. genuinely you all made my year so much better and inspired me to keep creating and keep growing. i love you all so much, there are no words to describe how grateful i am for you <3

thank you to julie, who accepted every insane stray thought, text message, and rambling fic plot. she sat there as i described iwks in detail in my car on the way to the mall. god's bravest soldier. she's truly a real one for that, i might have stopped talking to me by now LMAO. thank you to mauricio for entering back into my life, validating every insane thing i've ever said, and just overall being an amazing friend. we have been through so much together you and i and im honored to be on this crazy journey with you now. shoutout too to snel and baflegacy who have also gotten a TON of my insane ramblings via dms, i adore yall and im so honored to have gotten to know you. <3<3<3

i cannot stress enough how HUGELY thankful i am to stella. when i tell you none of my works would be where they are today without her. she does the very stressful and tedious task of reading over my works for me, and i am forever grateful. like almost none of the fics i've written would be even half as strong as they are without her help. not to mention she's just one of my favorite people on this planet in general; i love talking to her and being in this online space with her and creating with her and yeah. my partner in crime, thank you so so much.

and finally: all of smoshblr in general. i have been here for six years now, and i've never had a fandom feel so much like home. all of my friends and mutuals, new and old, and every other follower of mine to boot. you all know who you are - i adore each and every one of you. thank you for everything. <3

send me fic writer asks!