#my beloved dumbasses in love
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lovebillyhargrove · 2 years ago
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"Babe, you're gonna hate me but I'll say it anyway."
The boys are sitting on Harrington's cushy couch on a Saturday evening. Billy's feet are on Steve's lap. It's nice. Harrington's parents are nowhere to be seen, as it often happens. Billy loves them dearly.
"What now, Harrington?" he drawls suspiciously. "Is Keith bothering you? I swear one day Hopper is going to find his cold breathless body, and .."
"No, no, it's not about Keith! Jesus, it's never about Keith, what is your beef with him?" Steve actually doesn't mind it when Billy gets a bit jealous. Likes it, in fact. His hand is resting on Billy's thigh. It's so nice.
"It's just.. It's not a big deal, really. But I've been meaning to ask you something, babe."
"Alright, out with it already, Steve."
"Uhm.. Can you maybe.. sometimes not put cologne on your dick??"
Billy's eyes are getting twice bigger. He didn't expect that.
"I mean, I like it. It smells nice. Very nice."
"Then what the fuck is the problem?" Billy's feeling a bit hurt, can't lie about it. He's actually thought scenting his dick was one of his ace moves. Turns out, Steve doesn't like it? What the fuck now?
"The problem.. well, it's not really a problem, babe.."
Harrington's face turns red
"Okay, I'll just say it. Smells nice, but tastes bitter. When I.. when I take it into my mouth. Also, I just really like the taste of you as it is .. the natural taste, I mean."
Steve's clearing his throat. Billy fails to describe the feeling that's butterflying in his chest. It's like he wants to hold Steve's face in his palms and kiss him forever.
"Can you.. can you maybe put perfume.. around it, not directly on it? Like .. on the hair?"
"Harrington, you're .. uh.." Hargrove pauses. His chest feels tight. "And I'll fucking kill for you." He means it.
"Oh yeah? So you're like my.. big bad dog? I'll say "Attack!" and you'll do it?" Steve's squeezing Billy's thick thigh and loving the feeling. It is so fucking nice, makes his heart sing. He loves every second of his time with Billy.
"You've got me on a leash, baby, and you know it."
"Did you put perfume on your dick tonight?" Steve's hand has crawled in the direction of and is fondling Billy's crotch.
"Why don't you unzip the fly and find out, pretty boy?"
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sanjiafterhours · 4 months ago
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you know how the strawhats eat everything from dragons to sea kings to dinosaurs to weird vegetables found in different islands, if sanji wasn't extremely neat, precise and hygienic, half of the crew would've been dead already
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mediumgayitalian · 10 months ago
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part three
———
The first step should, in all likelihood, be the easiest.
(“I’m not sure this is something you can really plan,” Annabeth had suggested gently, “as much as my mother would disown me to hear it. I mean, everything I did with Percy kind of just…happened.”
“Yeah, and I’m sure the five years of pining misery and fighting off several other people — one of whom was literally me — was a real walk in the park for you.”
“…Plan on.”)
It is not the easiest.
“You’re telling me the flowers…say things.”
If Nico reaches back into the farthest recesses of his memory, as in things that are shoved somewhere between his sister’s soft sobs the one time he got sicker than he’d ever been and has ever been since and the time he’d walked in on Alecto skinny dipping in the Phlegothon, he can vaguely remember a lengthy rant from his stepmother on something called the language of flowers. He had, at that time, assumed she was simply trying to convince him that everything had voices again, and ignored her.
“Yes,” says Miranda from Demeter Cabin patiently. “Every flower has an assigned meaning. More than one, usually. You can say very rude things with flowers.”
Nico perks up, intrigued. “How do you say ‘you’re a fucking c—”
“Okay,” Jason interrupts, plastering a strained smile on his face and slapping a hand over Nico’s mouth. Nico bites him, hard, and the smile becomes even more strained. “We are actually looking for much nicer things to say with flowers. Kind things. Appreciative things. Feelings, you know. Nico?”
He lifts his hand, looking at him in warning as if Nico is going to be quelled by his Stare of Judgement, of all things. Nico stares back at him until he starts to look appropriately cowed, satisfyingly afraid of the horror that lives inside Nico’s eyes, except he — doesn’t.
He doesn’t look scared at all, actually, which is — which.
Nico takes all thoughts pertaining to the issue and shoves them away.
“I need,” he says haltingly, looking back at Miranda. She looks at him encouragingly.
She doesn’t look afraid of him, either, although she glances quickly down at the circle of grass he’s killed by virtue of standing on it and says, politely, “If you could maybe stop that, I would appreciate it.”
Nico swallows, stepping back. “Sorry.”
“No worries.” She swoops down, hands outstretched, murmuring something too soft for him to pick up. Under her gentle fingertips, the grass blooms slowly back to life, tiny strands uncurling and swelling with virility, stretching towards the sun. Even the dirt smells sweeter, like churned garden soil rather than graveyard dirt.
Something dark and bitter crawls up Nico’s throat — he will always need people to clean up after his messes. No matter how hard he tries. Miranda with the plants, Solace with every one of his endless injuries, Bianca with — everything. She cleaned up after him a lot.
She was only twenty-seven months older than him. He wonders how she would have liked being fourteen, and has to choke back the sob that tries to claw its way out of his trachea.
“Not a lot of people have flower language memorized,” Miranda says, dragging him roughly back to the present. Her large brown eyes are back to focused on him, so he forces himself into normalcy and stares back. “And it’s kind of vague, so I need something to start with. Who’s it for?”
“Classified.”
Nico considers, once again, opening up a chasm beneath his feet. His geokinesis is no bene so he’d probably take Jason and Miranda down with him, but. Necessary sacrifices, et cetera.
“Understandable,” Miranda responds without so much as a beat. Huh. Suddenly, he feels bad for considering her collateral. “Just this then: friend or foe?”
Nico looks at Jason. Jason looks back at him, like, dude, seriously. Nico scowls at him and his uselessness.
“Friend,” he says begrudingly. “…More.”
Miranda nods in understanding. “Ah. Will, then.”
Nevermind. Chasm it is.
“Man, I hoped you guys would finally do something,” Miranda continues, oblivious to the ground trembling slightly under her. (Jason, however, appears alarmed, so Nico summons a tiny skeleton hand to grab his ankle in revenge.) “I love Will to pieces, but there are only so many times I can hear him wax poetic about you before it starts to get embarrassing. When we were twelve you saved his life and he actually cried because he didn’t know how to form the words. Just weeping everywhere about your sword and your hair and how you look a little crazy when you smile in battle. Did you know there are, like, a million syllables for brown? I do. He thinks your eyes are a tie between moonstone and agate, in case you were wondering.”
“I have actually heard that,” Jason mumbles, as Nico’s brain whites out and leaves him, tragically alone, to suffer. “I thought he was just super into geology.”
“Oh, he is. He’s a little into everything. There’s a bi joke, for you.”
“Oh, ha, I get it.”
Is that his body, stranded somewhere below him? Hi, body. Good to see you. You look like hell. Feel free to summon your soul back into yourself at any time, that’d be great.
“I am generally bad at functioning,” he admits, once his essence has begrudgingly reattached itself to his cells and his blood stops ringing quite so loudly in his ears.
Miranda shrugs. “I think you’re pretty okay. Once Percy had to get five stitches on his lip because he was half asleep and mixed up his plate and pizza and bit clean through his plate. It only really needed four stitches, but Will laughed so hard he couldn’t focus right and tore the wound a tad before fixing it. By accident.”
Nico tries very hard not to picture that laughter, not to remember the first time he heard Will laugh, not the hundreds of times after; a loud sound, a musical sound, despite his insistence that he has no talents. Laughter like olive oil laughs in the pan, like wind laughs as it rushes through the poplar trees.
Jason nods sympathetically. “Mondays are hard.”
“Please,” Nico begs the both of them. The nerve he’d summoned after the encouragement of his friends is slowly leaking out of his eyeballs and soaking the ground. “I just need —”
He can’t finish that sentence, either. I need to give Will flowers so he knows I have….intentions, with him, is the most embarrassing sentence ever to be conjured by man, and if he has to say it aloud he knows his father will smite him out of pity, as is their deal. It must only be implied, and even then, he could get egged by any member of Cabin Eleven and turn into a breakfast buffet, his face is so godsdamn hot.
“Will, is, like, unbelievably dense,” Miranda says, taking pity on him. She waits for Nico to finish choking, patting him firmly on the back before continuing. “I guess that’s not fair. He can be quite observant, he just has worse self-esteem than you, even, no offense, so if you are trying to seduce him you’re going to have to be very obvious.”
The wheezing that she has just circumvented starts all over again. This time, Jason joins him. Miranda has no qualms or shame — fitting, since Nico has met her mother, who also has no shame about anything. Nico will never be able to forget that she is the goddess of fertility.
“Who the fuck said anything about seducing,” he manages, finally, lungs chilling somewhere on the grass.
Miranda ignores him. “I would usually say something simple like daisies, but they can be representative of friendship and he will for sure assume they are friendship flowers. Hyacinth can communicate a much deeper breadth of emotion, but, uh —” she glances at the Apollo cabin — “I would avoid Hyacinth.”
Nico sobers. Yeah. That would be wise.
“I think roses send a little too strong of a message for your purposes, so I’m thinking carnations. Pink ones.”
Recovering from the implications of the roses — he’s a little out of time, not stupid, he knows what they mean — he looks at her curiously. “What do pink carnations mean?”
She shrugs. “Love and affection, really. Sometimes gratitude, and in some poetry their colouring is compared to a pleased flush.”
Although he expected much more agony in this particular step of the journey (not that their wasn’t a good, healthy amount; can’t feel good feelings for too long if you’re Nico di Angelo, Cursèd, Son of Hades, Prince of the Underworld, Ghost King, Et Cetera, Et Cetera), pink carnations seem surprisingly…right. Love and affection, he can handle that, and if there’s one thing he always is, regarding Will, it’s grateful. Maybe the whole damn camp should be giving him pink carnations.
“Here.”
Sensing Nico’s hesitant acceptance, Miranda swoops down to the ground, digs around a second, shoots a quick prayer to her mother, and waits. A moment later, several blush-pink flowers shoot from the dirt, along with — Nico squints to read it — a book about the history of grain cereals. Miranda looks confused about one of those two things.
“I am constantly plagued by the Ancient Greek Theoi and their various whims,” Nico explains.
“Your life confuses me,” Miranda responds. She hands him the book and the flowers. For once, Demeter’s gift seems to be the less volatile object of the two. “I’m going to go meditate about it.”
“Good call,” says Jason.
“Thank you,” Nico calls, belatedly, to her retreating back. He glances down at the flowers in his hand. “Jason,” he says, voice strained.
He sighs. “Oh, here we go.”
“Jason, I have to move.”
“You’re fine here,” Jason says patiently. He places a hand on Nico’s shoulder and begins to steer him towards the Big House. Nico, distraught, refrains from judo flipping him into a tree.
“I ruin everything I touch, Jason.”
“You helped out with the strawberries just fine last week.”
“Strawberries are not people, Jason.”
“The kids seem to like you. You let them keep weird skulls and rocks and shit they find in the woods, and they like that.”
“Children are not completely incomprehensible sons of the sun, Jason.”
“Will likes you. By his own admission. He thinks — and I’m quoting here — that you’re gorgeous, even when you’re glaring at him and rueing your own existence.”
Nico has nothing to say to that, because he still can’t quite believe that’s true. It’s — surreal. He had no arguments against it, because he knows, objectively, that Will was not lying, and he can see, with his eyeballs, that Will smiles every time they make eye contact, unless Nico did something stupid in which case Will is huffing and muttering about patients and demigods and how increased power is directly correlated with increased stupidity.
Mostly smiling, though.
At Nico. With love and affection and oh, gods, he is going to ruin things so bad.
“Look,” Jason says, stopping them in front of the porch. Nico takes the pause with equal parts relief and panic, turning to him with the flowers clutched to his chest. “You have — issues.”
Nico blinks, waiting for more sentence. Surely that cannot be all of it.
“…Yes,” he acquiesces, when no sentence is forthcoming. “I am an interloper in this timeline. I am an omen of death. I am —”
“Gods, you’re dramatic.”
Nico agonizes.
“You will be fine, Nico, please, I don’t even know what the hang-up is. He said he likes you, there is literally not a single soul in this camp unaware about how much he likes you. Right?”
The rickety screen door of the infirmary bangs open, slamming against the frame, startling them both so hard they cause a slight earthquake.
“Oh, you got them, you got them!”
The overworked and overstressed whirlwind known as William Andrew Solace bursts out of the infirmary, tripping over his own shoes and nearly landing on his face had Jason not caught him.
“Woah, dude,” he says, steady hand on his waist. Nico reacts to that totally normally and Jason’s shadow does not at all try to swallow him. “What’s wrong?”
Will barely responds. “Nico, you are the best, I owe you forever —”
Stumbling out of Jason’s hold, he lunges over to Nico, plucking the flowers out of his hand and spinning right back to the infirmary. In total bewilderment, Nico and Jason follow him, watching as he tosses the bouquet in the air, hands glowing golden, and mutters a quick hymn. The flowers begin to droop, then wrinkle, then fully shrivel up, totally dead as they land back in his hands.
“What the fuck,” Jason whispers.
“Sun-dried is better, but I don’t have time,” Will frets. “Son of sun will have to do. Ha. You, and you, over here.” He points to the nurses desk with the yellowed stems, no trace of a question in his voice. The two of them scramble to comply, ducking under the half-door and standing awkwardly behind the counter as Will clears it off.
“That stupid prank — remind me to kill Cecil tomorrow, Nico, if you don’t mind — has three whole cabins covered in skin welts. I don’t have enough beds for them all, and they need to be quarantined, anyway. I haven’t had time to go get more ingredients in between cabins, let alone time to make more ointment.” Two massive stone mortars slam the counter, making both of them jump, followed by pestles with blunt heads roughly the size of Nico’s fist. “Pulverize the petals as fine as you can.” He splits the dead bouquet in half, handing them each six flowers each. “Petals only, no stems or seeds. I’ll be back in twenty minutes to gather it. Oh, and Nico —”
He pauses for a moment, taking a breath. Hesitantly, Nico reaches out and places a gentle hand on his wrist. Instantly, the worried line between his eyes melts away, and he smiles; tired but radiant.
“I owe you one,” he says softly. “You always know just what I need. I’ve been using rose, ‘cause that’s what we have, even though pink carnations is better, but we ran out an hour ago and I’ve been freaking out cause I —”
“Solace,” Nico interrupts. He squeezes gently. “Breathe.”
He does. Inhale, hold, exhale, breath tickling the hairs in Nico’s arm, causing goosebumps to bristle all over his skin. (The grateful smile pointed towards him at full power has nothing to do with that. Obviously.)
“I’m good. Just — thank you, Nico. You knew exactly what I needed.”
A loud groan sounds from somewhere to the east, in the vague direction of Cabin Ten, and Will rushes off without another word, medical bag stuffed to bursting. There’s a thump, and a quick, “I’m good!” and then the sound of running in flip-flops. Nico ducks his head to hide a smile, turning to the dried flowers.
“Well,” says Jason after a moment. “You tried.”
Nico shrugs. He starts plucking the petals off and dumping them in the mortar, Jason quick to follow his example.
“I’ll just have to try harder next time.”
———
part five
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herebecritters · 3 months ago
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DINO DAYS CRO! WHOAAA
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asimplelobsterhat · 1 year ago
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When Nandor is talking about having a wife to share all of his treasures from Al Qolnidar and at that exact moment the camera pans to Guillermo entering his secret room and immediately coming down the stairs to look at all of the cool shit on the table
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onefey · 1 year ago
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this flopped on the tweeter but i like how it came out so pspspsps dedf1sh fans
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sillygoofyqueer · 2 months ago
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GUYS GUYS GUYS. I DON'T CARE WHO IT IS, BUT I'M TELLING YOU ALL TO READ THROUGH MY HEADCANONS AND CHARACTERISATION OF WEI QINGWEI AND THEN POST PROPAGANDA INTO MY INBOX ABOUT WHO YOU THINK WOULD BE THE MOST LIKELY TO END UP WITH HIM BECAUSE I'M THAT ONE GUY WHO DOESN'T WANT TO DECIDE (and likes giggling about my followers' opinions). I will probably get back around to crowyuan on *checks calender*....Sunday? Depends how hungover I am, because I plan on getting wasted at a party this weekend! :DDDD
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marshbevvie · 2 months ago
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Ben has stolen the couch and Stan has stolen Eddie. Richie is very confused and I saw an opportunity for a new photo to be my phone wallpaper.
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milkymooshi · 6 months ago
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Dream Gotham blunt rotation?
Harvey, every adult woman in Gotham (except Isabella bc weirdo :/), Harvey (again), Victor Fries (I think he really needs it tbh, or a wife but yk.)
Nightmare Gotham blunt rotation?
Oswald, Ed, Jim (I fucking hate him), Oswald ( again bc he would realistically be the worst to get high with), Jim (I want this man euthanized).
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the-mighty-het-speaks · 1 year ago
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A Preview of James Hetfield's Messengers Book
EET FUK, Courtesy of ESP Guitars
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silvertws · 6 months ago
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I'm so far behind in Campaign 3 like, episode 77 I think? But by all the posts online I can see Bells Hells seems to be thriving (except FCG womp Womp) which is lovely.
Imma probably just observe funky clips and posts until I get hyper fixated again.
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spacespheal · 2 years ago
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I found something new to obsess over
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plutoloulou · 3 months ago
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I love how Buck went from lowkey idiot dumbass (affectionate) who made really bad decisions in s1 to still a dumbass (affectionate) but being extremely smart and making somewhat better decisions in s8
That's good character development right there!
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holywoodelevator · 20 days ago
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Born to be a baddie forced to do the dishes
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satanicsanity · 2 years ago
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This video is sponsored by raid showed Legends
I'M SORRY I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF- (My audio requests still aren't technically open... BUT COME ON I HAD TO-)
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The art & characters used are by clown/party coffin!🩷Go support them and donate to their Kofi of you can!
Subtitles, wally speaking: You're doing amazing, neighbor! Oh! Speaking of which.. I have something very important to tell you! Ah-ahem... [price-is-right theme begins to play] "This voice impression of wally was brought to you by raid shadow legends! Now what is raid shadow legends? Raid shadow legends is a-" [cut off]
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natsurit · 2 years ago
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A bit old but still love this one
Dating vs Married Couple
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