#my bad maam… sorry maam…..

[radioroxx]

prev reblog reminded me of this but it wasnt related enough to put into the tags so

hc that siffrin spent the first week or so of travelling with the party not actually knowing what they were doing / what the quest was for. he was just happy to help :)

[iaminjail]

"H-How can you be so mean?"

watched my friend play the first and fourth case of aa3 and i love dahlia she's just the right mix of cartoony supervillain and terrifyingly real

[heatwa-ves]

jotaro is the way he is because he had a kid at 21. he should've been at the sea 😔😔

[cuntstable]

learning to hang out with cats is soooooooooo crazy like especially after a lifetime of hanging out with doggies…. like 99% of doggies will give you a million warning signs before they snap at you but you put your hand even a millimetre too close to a kittys tummy and its over

[1spooky-dad]

Will never forget the time when, before i had bought her, was feeding sweettart and the other snakes in the store, as i do every Thursday, but being the one blood in the store i knew she didn't have the same eating schedule as all the others. Still offered her small meals every week, just in case, but she often didn't want it. Understandable. Except for the time that she was getting snippy about refusing it, and would strike at the mouse just to say "hey back off with that thing" and as soon as I did, she crawled out of her box and snuggled up in my lap. Girlie didn't want food she just wanted cuddles. I may have teared up a bit. Carried her around for a few hours while working because of it. She's such a good girl.

[k1ngj0ve]

in regards to the picky eater test: i actually feel in my heart like i eat lots of foods but the reality is that the foods i wont/dont/rarely eat are put in EVERY recipe it seems like. so for example generally i dont like cheese in most situations and every fucking recipe is gooey cheese. i dont like pork so any pork meal it out, i dont like beef 99% of the time so most of those go out, i dont like chicken if its wet so all that goes out too

i like... ingredients.... ill eat a block of sharp cheddar but i dont want it IN anything. ill eat a can of fruit but dont fucking put it in a pie because i cant stand hot fruit.

foods that i think werent on the list that i fucking hate: fucking octopus and clams and scallops.

[onepiexe]

my god. yesterday was a day.

[comradecowplant]

starting the war on christmas early by noticing this emote on the site formerly known as twitter

[barbietoiles]

not the "girl with a pretty handwriting" and will never be but sometimes it is very nice <3

[azulpitlane]

be aggressive l ln4

lando norris x dcc!reader summary: the internet is curious as to why lando suddenly has an interest in american football, specifically with the dallas cowboys masterlist

f1gossip

13,283 likes

f1gossip Lando Norris and Mclaren CEO, Zak Brown at the Dallas Cowboys game today in the AT&T stadium!!

view all comments

user his ass did not wanna be there😭

user lando?? american football?? huh???

user guys it was sponsored by hilton!! pretty sure thats why they attended

user makes sense cause bro looked miserable by the second half of the game

user a strange strange sight

user mf was bored the whole game except when the cheerleaders performed LMFAO

user the video of him locking in as soon as they stepped out in the field💀 ↪user WHERES THE VIDEO HAHAH? ↪user the video is all over twitter, cameraman did him dirty lmfao

yourusername

liked by landonorris and 12,379 others

yourusername victory sunday💙🤍💙

view all comments

user lesss goooo cowboys

user FAVE DCC

user in y/n we trust🧎‍♀️

user wait a minute- lando what are you doing here?!?

user no cause i noticed that too👀

user obsessed with you

user patiently waiting for the lando girlies to realize he followed her immediately after tonights game

user poor lando didnt get the follow back tho😭😭

yourusername

liked by landonorris and 19,382 others

yourusername first ever grand prix!!! such a delight to perform for these lovely faces✨

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user you guys made paying hundreds of dollars for a ticket worth it tbh

user icons

user another lando like, jolene im begging you pls dont take my man😔

user its the other way around for me😩 lando needs to back off my girl

user 🔥

landonorris amazing performance😍

user oh we're getting bold??? user down bad lando is my favorite lando fr user OMGGG FUTURE WAG Y/N??

user STOP is she the reason lando went to that cowboys game a few weeks ago

user going to her games and they're not even dating yet, gotta respect the game tbh😭

user sorry to break girls' hearts but there's videos of her and lando talking at the gp and he was blushing and giving her heart eyes the whole time

user literally came to her account cause of that video HAHAH

landonorris

liked by danielricciardo, maxfewtrell and 930,482 others

landonorris 'murica

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user PASSENGER PRINCESS LANDO???

user ARE THOSE DCC BOOTS IN THE LAST SLIDE???

user it HAS to be the cheerleader he just followed cause they wear the exact same boots ↪user her name is Y/N!! put some respect in our dcc queen's name ↪user yes maam🫡, i apologize for my ignorance as a brit

user lando in a cowboy hat?? SHOW IT TO ME NOW RACHEL

maxfewtrell man you never let me drive when youre in the car

landonorris yeah cause i dont trust u maxfewtrell YOUVE KNOWN ME LONGER THAN Y/N??this comment has been deleted

user did max just confirm it is y/n THEE DCC in the last slide🧍‍♀️

user LMFAOO i know lando gave him an earful after that deleted comment user too late for him to delete, I HAVE IT PRINTED OUT! Y/N AND LANDO CONFIRMED

user streets are saying it's y/n in the last slide... we lost her guys😔

user AND WE LOST HER TO A BRITISH MAN💔💔

user now we wait for y/n to follow him and start soft launching too

danielricciardo glad i trusted the process

landonorris TOLD YOU user i hate when they comment inside jokes, got me feeling left out :(

user wait the way he let her drive even though hes said before he hates not being in control, meaning he already trusts her🥹

user i love her already omg

user lando dating an american cheerleader is actually the most lando thing ever

yourusername

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell and 18,392 others

yourusername current side mission: turning a brit into a texan

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user bae just tag lando norris, we know it's him

user NOO I WAS HOPING IT WAS JUST RUMORS💔

user girl lando does not know who you are ↪user i was talking about y/n ↪user oh sorry, valid reaction tbh

user the matching pictures of her driving and him as the passenger princess on his post omg this is the most perfect soft launch i fear

user i waited for 3 and half years for her and white man did it in one week😩

user her soft launching as if max didnt already confirm it on landos post

yourusername shhh just pretend you didn't see that, cant have my soft launch ruined ↪user sorry maam, whatever you say maam

user lando is so posh but she has him driving dirt bikes and going to rodeos HAHAHHA

user the way he looked just watching a football game was hilarious, i cant even imagine a rodeo

user as a european f1 fan, can someone explain why she's so loved? (IM ASKING IN THE NICEST WAY POSSIBLE I SWEAR)

user LOL she's a cheerleader for the dallas cowboys football team which is a huge deal here! it's pretty hard to join the squad but shes a fifth year veteran (about to retire after this year) and she's known as one of the sweetest and kindest leaders on the squad!! she also met lando at a game!

user does she know she has twitter freaking out with this post?

user not that im complaining but this is the first time i see an f1 couple getting so much love HOW AND WHY??

user well y/n is quite literally america's sweetheart

yourusername

liked by landonorris, pietra.pilao and 23,492 others

yourusername one last christmas show🥹

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user what is dcc without y/n☹️

user gonna miss her so bad

user still looked amazing

user okay but is she still with that nascar driver or whatever cause wowwwww😍

landonorris yes, she is still with the FORMULA ONE DRIVER. ↪user OMG AN OFFICIAL CONFIRMATION???

pietra.pilao be with me please?

landonorris 🤨

landonorris woah woah you didnt say you were gonna post this one??? you look too good???

yourusername what happened to not commenting on each other's post until the hard launch🙂 (but ty ily) landonorris i take that back. (ily more) ↪user theyre losers but i love them your honor

footballplayer 🔥

landonorris yeah nice try🤣

user landos fighting for his life in these comments HAHA

user he fr ruined y/n's soft launch cause he cant handle these commenters hitting on her omfg

user kinda scared to comment, i dont want lando coming for me

user please dont be in love with someone else😩please dont have somebody waiting on you😩

landonorris she is in fact in love with someone else and does in fact have somebody waiting on her (ME) ↪user lando is a loser bf CONFIRMED

landonorris

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 973,492 others

landonorris winter break means football games with my beautiful girl

view all comments

user finally the hard launch

user she literally is turning him into a texan GRAHHHH🦅🇺🇸

user *pretends to be shocked*

yourusername ILYYYYYYY

landonorris ❤️

user sad about her retiring dcc but happy we'll be getting so much WAG content

user OMG i didnt even think of this ↪user already imagining the paddock fits😩

user ig i have to accept shes officially taken :(

landonorris yeah. ↪user chill bro aint nobody taking her from you

user bro saw all the thrist comments on her last post and decided to hard launch

maxfewtrell ranch in texas when??

yourusername OMG SOON PLEASE @/LANDONORRIS?? ↪landonorris um idk about that ↪yourusername 🤨 ↪landonorris I MEANT ILL THINK ABOUT IT!! IT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA😁🫶

user shes got him on a LEASH

danielricciardo ahh feels like yesterday that you bought tickets for the game AND the flight to have a 5 second interaction with the cute dcc

user damn lando was down bad wth😭 landonorris thank you for making this public information. ↪yourusername hey at least you beat the norizz allegations! eventually...

user as an american, im allowing you to count cota as your home race for bagging this queen

user oh lando norris i underestimated your game

User he gets the y'all pass now

landonorris THANK YALLLLLL

user the americanfication of lando is not something i knew i needed, but i did. thank you miss y/n

yourusername youre welcome, he will be listening to zach bryan and dolly parton in no time🫡

notes: one thing about me is im gonna start getting lazy at the end of every smau i make. LOL. anyway i love american reader if you havent noticed already :)

[dannyriccsupremacy]

suburban legends | CL16

| charles leclerc x fem!exgf!reader smau

| summary : charles doesn't do enough to keep his girlfriend and when the internet finds out, they are less than happy.

| faceclaim : christina nadin

| part one here ! part two here !

youruser just posted a story!

yn, her bff, chloe, julia and amelia all sat at a cafe by the water catching up. their drunken plans from the club bathroom that night had turned into a reality, and they were all so excited to see each other- and follow each other on social media.

as they were chatting, giggling with each other, your bff suddenly gasped and scoffed.

"whats that for?" yn asked, slighting laughing at her antics.

"ex-o'clock." she said sipping her drink, "yours, not mine."

"what?!" yn exclaimed, giving her bff a look, "definitely him?"

your bff nodded, rolling her eyes. the other three girls were avidly looking at everyone in the vicinity, trying to work out which man was eliciting this reaction from the duo.

"brown hair, sunglasses, white shirt, two o'clock." your bff answered their unspoken question.

the trio's eyes landed on the man at the same time, and amelia suddenly went white. soon the other four's attention was on her, concerned.

"miels, what's wrong?" julia asked, placing her hand on amelia's arm.

"oh, n-nothing." amelia shook her head.

"no, honey, what's wrong?" chloe questioned, her curiosity peaking.

"i feel awful. i didn't know, i swear." amelia apologised frantically.

"know what?" yn furrowed her brows.

"he's the one i'm talking to right now. charles is the one i'm seeing. and yn, your the ex he isn't over yet." amelia blurted, cheeks turning pink.

"amelia... i am so, so sorry." yn apologised, a sympathetic expression on her face.

"yn! do not apologise. especially not for a man!" amelia scolded, laughing slightly, "i was going to break things off with him anyway. he is well and truly still in love with you."

yn smiled sadly, taking another glance at the man, only to find him already staring at her, love still shining in his eyes.

liked by lilymhe, sacreskin + 90,367 others

youruser bros b4 hoes 😉

view all 16,324 comments

yourbff words of wisdom

user omg is this about that one tweet??

ameliahobart bros 4ever

user in her post breakup popularity era

user yn is so hot

juliaverner marry me pls!!

↳ chloedarren she said no hoes maam 🚫

user i bet charles misses her

lilymhe no hoes here 🙅‍♀️

↳ alex_albon lily???

↳ carmenmundt get over yourself albono. sucks 4 u

↳ georgerussell63 carmen???

↳ youruser please no hoes in the comment section. read the sign.

↳ francisca.cgomes yeah scram

↳ pierregasly kika???

↳ user i love the unhingedness in yns comment section

amelia sat across from yn, a slightly embarrassed look on her face.

"look, yn, i really like you and i really want to stay friends with you, so i just really need to tell you this so i don't think that our entire friendship is built on lies." amelia blurted, causing the confused look on yn's face. yn nodded for her to continue.

"basically, charles hired me. i'm an aspiring actress and i answered a call he had put out for someone that fit my description. when i sat down and met him for the first time, he explained that he wanted someone to pretend that they were his girlfriend to make his ex- you- jealous." she explained, wringing her hands together.

"when i first met you, i didn't know you were the ex, but he told me to keep up the act with everyone since monaco is such a small place and everyone talks." she took a breath, "but then when your bff pointed out him as your ex, i wanted to say something, but i really liked you so i didn't want to ruin the friendship we had already created."

yn sat in silence as she took in the girl's words. "okay."

"okay?" amelia was nervous, "just okay? is that like a bad okay, or is it a good okay?"

"a good okay," yn smiled, "i really want to keep being your friend so i'm so happy that you told me now. i definitely would of had to re-evaluate the relationship if it happened later down the line."

"oh thank god!" amelia let out a sigh of relief, at which yn laughed, "but i do want to let you know that charles still truly loves you. like he would not shut up about how amazing you are. i have only heard his side of the story, but if i were you, i would definitely get back together with him."

"he kissed me in a way that screwed me up forever, then i broke my own heart because he was too afraid to do it." yn responded, thinking back on their relationship.

"sounds like you were born to be suburban legends!" amelia giggled.

"i think i might." yn grinned.

"now i did meet his friend lando... what's his deal?"

liked by charles_leclerc, yourbff + 95,375 others

youruser our mismatched star signs surprised everyone 🤷‍♀️

view all 21,598 comments

yourbff pop off ig

↳ youruser slay

pierregasly at least he doesn't mope around anymore

↳ youruser aw honey you moped?

↳ charles_leclerc FALSE. LIES. MISINFORMATION.

user MY PARENTS!!!! ARE BACK TOGETHER!!!

↳ user NO LONGER A CHILD OF DIVORCE!!!

user i cant believe theyre back together

user honestly... i would too

ameliahobart the cutest couple!! (set me up with ykw pls!!)

↳ juliaverner dont manipulate them

↳ ameliahobart but i manipulated them together 😔

↳ chloedarren 🎶 cause [she's] a mastermind 🎶

user NATIONAL TREASURES.

authors note i literally took so long to get this part out i am so sorry!! but this will be the last part. a spin off may occur 👀

@allywthsr @sunny44 @coolio2195 @multi-fanss @babyliz43-blog @redbullgirly @smnthnclj @d3kstar @living-with-ghost @noonesgoneuntiltheyregone

[brujahinaskirt]

look i love john marston once and true i really do but listen if i were ms. abigail roberts

i would have shacked up with arthur so fucking fast after john ditched me his lil possum-man head would have been spinning on his neck way out in whatever hole he was hiding from the smoking ashes of my broken heart in. "stand by your man?" "give him space?" "take a chance that love exists?" no. i would not. i would have simply turned around and brought The Big Hoss to stable with EXTREME marston-negative malice. i know i know, arthur is sooo loyal he wouldn't leave dutch but yes he fucking would. we are not talking about some copypasta y/n buckle bunny here with no distinguishing features. this is ABIGAIL FUCKING ROBERTS. are you telling me if abigail "The Best Person Alive" (Arthur Morgan, "Abigail You're the Best" speech, 1899) roberts walked up to this babytalking Fatherhood And Other Dreams-addicted wifeless Wifeguy with a cooing toddler stuck under her arm and said "arthur you're jack's daddy now. arthur he's soooo small arthur. he's the size of a single grapefruit. arthur we have to protect your microscopic pea-sized incredibly tiny son" he would not have said Yes Maam and split that camp like the ass crack in a pair of Forever 21 jeans. i'm sorry to this woman but if i were Miss Thang the Van der Linde Princess Herself I would never have waited on a man (J*HN M*RSTON) to come crawling back to me. wait for what?????? i would have waltzed up to that sad sagging open concept tent, outstretched my gleaming ex girlfriend eagle talon and snatched mr I'm-a-Lonesome-Cowboy by his barely concealed raging domesticity stiffy and we would have blown that fucking outfit in two shakes and a holler. i would have ZOOMED onto that orhter-mahrrgahn-shaped gravy train at such fucking velocity you would not believe it. dump ME like a rusted can of peaches. oh no no no. could NOT be me. me and MY peaches would have been out of that whole marston sitchuation and making nice with big brother on a little homestead somewhere at mach 1 (one vindictive bitch) speed. leave me with a fucking baby sleeping on the grass. kiss my outlaw ass. not if I'M ABIGAIL FUCKING ROBERTS. john would have come stumbling back a year later dragging his jaw behind him like "huh??? wuut??? MY BABYCAKE IS WHERE??? WITH WHO" and the revelation that the bad bitch he tossed out with his toenail clippings was now eating bon bons or whatever on his brother's knee in callyfornya would car compact john's world into the size of a soup can. but i wouldn't bat one pretty eyelash about it because i would be spending my enormous devoted husband's train robbing funds on exotic fruits and fancy $15 token mugs and other dumb shit. john fucking god damned linguini legs marston. break my goddamn heart?? bet. arthur knows how abigail takes her coffee. jack would not even know who tf john marston is.

[prettypinkporkchop]

A/n: ARTHRITIS!!!! So, I have multiple things wrong in my body and I have YET to find a story I can relate to. They be like "You ran in the woods together" homie if I could run I would. Anywhore, here's a story for my arthritis people.

Sam Understands

"Just jump. Paul can hold you!" Jared challenged. Your knees were killing you today. It's a bad sick day. You don't even know why you agreed to go cliff diving with the pack and their imprints. You didn't have the heart to tell Paul today, isn't it for you. You fake a smile and then grab Paul's arm. He notices how hesitant you are. "Baby, you too scared?" He whispers in your ear. You shake your head. You're not scared, you're in pain. "I'm not scared." He tries to read your face. "You okay?" He asks. "Mmm. No. I'm hurting really bad." You frown at him.

Him and Sam are the only ones who know your medical issues. "Actually, guys, you can go on without us. I'm going to take y/n on a date." He makes a face at Sam. Sam nods, and Paul grabs your hand, walking away. Behind you, you can hear the boys asking why Paul and you have so much freedom.

Paul has to patrol a lot, but Sam is lenient on your bad days. Especially your at home injections once a week.

You enter your guys' house and collapse on the bed. He grabs your weekly medicine organizer and looks through it, making sure you have taken them every day this week. Once he sees you have, he sets it back down. "I'm sorry you're hurting." He lays down next to you. "You say that every time like it'll change things. I'm okay. There are worse things people live with." You smile at him. He smiles back and then rolls on his side, wrapping an arm around your stomach. He places kisses on your upper arm. "Hang on." You get up and walk to the bathroom.

Hehe. It's time to torture him. He refuses to do anything if you're hurting. But you both gotta... ya know. You decided to play with him this go around.

You change into his favorite lingerie you have. He bought it for you one Valentines Day. You step into the room and notice he had turned off the lamp. You make your way to the bed and crawl under the blanket. His arm goes back around you, and you press yourself against him. He makes a deep, "mph", sound. His hands roam your side, and he feels the lace-y underwear. "Don't do this to me." He groans and starts kissing the side of your neck, letting his hands roam your body, grabbing different places.

He gave in.

Time flew by, the sun is out, and you are on the couch grabbing Paul's arm. He's kneeling in between your legs (no maam) holding your injection. "You ready?" He looks up at you. You're always squeezing and closing your eyes. This shit hurts, and you always bruise at the injection site. "Yes, just get it done."

He presses it firmly against your thigh, and the medicine slowly goes through. The needle clicks out, telling you it's finished. You let go of Paul's arm and then exhale a big sigh. "You did good." He kisses your knee. You nod and then lean back.

He stands up to throw away the finished needle but stops in his tracks. "You ever heard of knocking?! What the fuck are you doing in here?!" Paul yells. You turn around and see Embry standing there in shock. "Sam, he said you weren't home, and Emily needed Y/n's cook book. I-" he stops. "Well, did you not see my damn truck?" Paul growls at him. "I did, but I didn't see y/ns car, so I thought you guys took that." He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. "Look, I'm sorry. Sam thought you were gone." Paul sat there and started thinking. You remembered. You grabbed Paul's hand. "Right, the appointment. He must've thought we went today, but I canceled." You whisper. "What's going on? My wolf senses are telling me something is up." Embry walks closer.

You can see Paul about to yell, but you squeeze his hand. "It's fine, Paul. Embry, I have arthritis. That's why I don't always do the things everyone does. Sam, let's Paul stay home during my appointments or if I'm hurting real bad." You explained. Paul sighs and looks down at you. "Oh, shit. Well, I won't tell anyone. I'm very sorry for intruding. I had no clue. I really am sorry. And if you ever need anything, I can help." He smiles at you. "Thanks, stooge. My cookbooks are in the hall closet. Grab whichever one she needs." You shoo him away. He goes to the closet. Paul throws away the needle and then sits next to you. "I love you." He pats your knee. You lean in and kiss him softly. "I love you too."

"Hey, Y/n! I'm not sure which one she needs! Help!" Embry yells.

[ajdrawshq]

3 left.

temporarily dying til monday btw. if u see me online before then no u dont <3 or yell at me to get back to work

[blorbingqls]

People from BL that make me want them carnally (always)

i was not tagged by anyone, however, was very inspired by the list of @respectthepetty @neuroticbookworm @lurkingshan @waitmyturtles and @bengiyo - and all others whose list had been on my feed. I have a very similar list but I just wanna give appreciation and adoration to a lot of these gays that have been on my mind. always.

note: you'll see a pattern. this list can't be numbered

Tan-Bun from Manner of Death

need i even say anything?

Kinn-Porsche from KinnPorsche

the main man-boobies and small waist appreciation

Pete from KinnPorsche

one gif can't sum him up (a trend following all my blorbos)

Win from Between Us

do i want him or want to be him? *cries in bisexual*

Sand from Only Friends

I want to do this exact scene above even though i imagine it would be absolutely disgusting irl (since i don't like cigarette smoke)

Ray from Only Friends

i mean can you even resist him? I see you Sand (and Boston), i see you

Jae Young from Semantic Error

see bad boys in greener flags is a weakness - i am sorry but it is what it is (ALSO HOW CAN ANYONE FORGET THE LIP RING)

Choi Yuna from Semantic Error

something something about this woman just makes me GAAAH

Molly from The Warp Effect

the one queer fat representation i wanted in media and it made me go weak on the knees every fucking time

Jean from The Warp Effect

maam, i'll be a better boyfriend than any cishet men you encounter

(not a BL) Giwi from The Player

NAMTAN TIPNAREE I REQUEST YOU TO JUST STEP ON ME

Wang from 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us

i mean you see it. i don't have to explain further.

Ayan from The Eclipse

is any of even surprised at this point? (you should not be)

SPECIAL MENTIONs

Jim, Wen, Alan and Gaipa from Moonlight Chicken

these thread of men don't need to be explained lord help me

Pete from Dark Blue Kiss

his one shot in the pool and fashion sense literally had me crawling

Karan from Cherry Magic Thailand

i am a sucker for Tay Tawan atp pls

also, also, also not necessarily from shows but general existence of this man (Jeff Satur [if anyone doesn't know]) makes me want to steal his gender every fucking time

tagging @gunsatthaphan @laowen @reptileofdoom @slayerkitty and anyone who wants to go about it

[ispyspookymansion]

some blind guy got yelled at by his. wife(?) today in the grocery line for calling me sir and she was like SHES A WOMAN. NOT A MAN. A WOMAN. and he was like oh my bad sorry maam. you just have a low voice i cant see you so and five minutes later after hearing me talk more she was like …….are you a man im so sorry i dont want to offend anyone….