#my babygirls giving me advice when i need it

[wholesome-cryptid]

Prints this photo out and puts it inside my wallet so i may dramatically turn to them for guidance when im lost.

[charliemwrites]

Okay so the poll results were for an OC captain, though it was close enough that I still hesitate to name him in the canon of the fic.

I’m also going to be taking my time fleshing out his character because it’s been a while since I made an OC. So please be patient while I add tidbits here and there to build his character.

Content: safe/sane/consensual sex, descriptions of scars, mentions of past torture

Nikto beats you and Nova twice out of three rounds — but that’s no surprise. The man moves like a machine. Even against two opponents he controls the battlefield like a chess master. Neither you nor Nova take it to heart, especially since he always gives you both advice at the end, helping you to improve.

He’s a great partner, a great teammate; you’re sure to show him your appreciation after sparring with a kiss to his nose-plate. His hands spasm on yours as he helps you unwind your wraps, gloved thumb sweeping over your bare palm.

“You did good today,” he says, voice rough and accent thick. He must be pissed about earlier still, when Ghost and Soap threw your matches with them.

“So did you,” you reply, squeezing his hand in return.

“Stay with me tonight?” He asks.

You damn near melt. Nikto has an open invitation to your room, but his is a sacred place, only for him unless otherwise specified. That he’s asking you to come to his tonight…

“Absolutely,” you reply, squeezing his hand. “I just need to see the captain first. Okay?”

He grunts in understanding, eyes flicking to the door the 141 left through earlier. He mutters something in Russian — some insult about goats and mothers you think.

“Yeah, exactly,” you reply, voice dropping with simmering irritation.

A good spar with him and Nova has helped ground you a bit, but it hasn’t helped the anger. You don’t spar any of your team with anger; they don’t deserve.

Luckily, you and your captain worked something out a while ago when you’re feeling a bit… aggressive.

“Cap?” You call, still holding Nikto’s hand. “Could I stop by for a nightcap later?”

His eyes flash, a sinful twist to the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, babygirl. I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

Over his shoulder, you see Nova arch her eyebrows and Keegan grin wicked into his water bottle. Gossip fiends.

“Showers. Now,” the cap says, slapping them both on the ass. “Double time. I need to have a word with Price still.”

—

Long after the sun has gone down, you’re standing outside your captain’s door. Take a breath. Remind yourself of your mantra. He wants you, always will, and he’s going to take care of you.

Then loosen your shoulders, unboxing all the frustration and aggression you set aside earlier. Feel it burn through you, make your hands twitch in and out of fists.

One more inhale, and then you shove the door open.

“There you are,” he rumbles. “C’mere.”

You flash your teeth, “No.”

He tilts head back and forth, cracking his neck. “Alright then.”

There’s no real fight. You’re not looking to get away or actually hurt him. And he’s not looking to actually make you submit. That’s not the point of this game.

He strides across the room and shoves you back, pins your shoulder to the wall. You grip at his forearm, nails scraping, and squirming as the hot, hard length of his body squishes you flat.

“Settle,” he orders.

“Fuck you,” you snarl back, nipping his lip.

He growls, tangling a hand in your hair and tipping your head back. Leaves a searing trail of kisses down your throat, bites a bruise into your collarbone. You wriggle and fuss all the while, safely held still and supported by his hands and body.

“Brat,” he rasps in your ear.

“I’m not,” you snap.

“Oh, yes you are, babygirl,” he replies, a mean smirk on his flushed face. “But that’s alright, I like you bad.”

He pulls you from the wall, bullies you onto the bed. You try to grab at him, get him under you. He doesn’t indulge like he normally would. Pins you on your back so that you can keep fighting, yanking at your wrists in his firm grip, pushing your hips up to grind into his as if trying to flip you both.

He slots his hips between your thighs, positions just his knees under your ass so that your back is arched, shoulders on the mattress. Limits your mobility, but that doesn’t stop you from kicking at air, making half-angry, half-desperate noises in the back of your throat.

“Gonna say please like a good girl?” He teases.

“No,” you hiss back.

He has the audacity to chuckle, which just riles you up more. (It’s supposed to). You curse as he works a hand beneath your shirt, palms at your bare breasts and pinches your nipples until they ache. You gasp like a pornstar, surprised and turned on.

“Pretty noise,” he coos. “Do it again.”

When he twists, you mewl, face immediately burning up as you renew your “efforts” to get away. All it does is make the treatment rougher than if you just laid still and took it, but that’s what you want, what feels good. A little edge to the pleasure as adrenaline and energy electrify you from head to toe.

He grinds against you, cotton of your loose shorts sticking against your soaked cunt. Christ you were turned on before you even barged in. Now you’re fucking throbbing for it.

“Gimme,” you grit out, rocking against him. Gears successfully shifted from physically taking control to just ordering him around.

“Give you what, brat?” He goads, slapping your pussy. The thin fabric muffles the sting, but it sends a white-hot ache through you that makes your eyes roll. “My cock? You think you deserve it?”

Another slap. You cry out, notice the sly look on his face when he notices that you’ve soaked through your shorts.

“Yes,” you reply, all confidence and reckless arrogance.

He yanks his underwear down to mid thigh, thick cock springing up to smack lewdly against his toned stomach. Precum smears over the pale scars there, sticks in the trail of groomed hair there.

“Yeah?” He growls. “Alright then.”

He yanks the crotch of your shorts aside (you hear stitches pop) and then he’s plunging into you. It’s too much all at once and you cry as much, knees squeezing around his tattooed ribs.

“Fuck.” His voice is shredded, so rough and low you feel it more than hear it. He lets your wrists go to grip at your ass, grinding deeper. Can feel the fat head of his cock bullying at your cervix, his favorite passtime while you adjust to the thick base of him.

“How does that feel, babygirl?” He murmurs in your ear. “You needed daddy’s cock, huh? Needed it to set you right again?”

You whimper out a curse at him, gripping at his biceps. He croons mockingly, thumb slipping between your bodies to press at your clit. Not rubbing or grinding, but just pressing. Just the right amount to make you sweat and pant, start trying to squirm to get any friction at all.

He lets you — could stop you if he wanted, or pull away entirely — but he likes winding you up like this. Likes seeing all that vicious energy turned to seeking pleasure from him.

“Fucking move,” you try to snarl, but your voice breaks midway through and comes out more pleading than you’d like.

“What was that, babydoll? Are you talking to me?” He teases, rolling his hips.

Your mouth falls open, a moan ripping from your chest, deep and needy.

“Daddy, move,” you cry, voice going up in pitch.

“There’s my brat.”

He pushes one of your knees up against your chest and slams into you. You scream and he doesn’t even try to cover your mouth, whispering filth as he tilts your hips for the best angle with his other hand. Fucks into you deep and rough, grinning at the obscenely wet noises every time he plunges into you.

Can practically feel him fucking your cervix open to get just that little bit deeper. Licks his lips when he sees the little bump in your stomach. You give as good as you get, squeezing down tight, bouncing to meet him, nails scoring lines down his back and shoulders.

“Gonna ask daddy to make you cum?” He goads.

“Earn it,” you reply.

He laughs and pulls out, flips you onto your stomach while you’re still dizzy with emptiness. Hikes your hips up and sinks into you like coming home. Your knees almost give out but that’s fine by him, he’s plenty strong enough to hold you up all on his own, using you like a noisy little toy for his own benefit.

“Fuuuuck,” you whine, feeling overwhelmed, pleasured tears gathering in your eyes. Then, in a whisper, “Daddy…”

“Feel like being good yet?” He asks. A large, rough hand circles that back of your neck and pins you face down to the mattress.

“N-no,” you whine, fight gone out of you now that you’re getting exactly what you want.

Fuck it feels so, so good. Every inch bullying you wide open and loose, so wet you’re dripping down your own thighs, wetting his ball as they slap against you. You feel split open and pinned, unable to do anything but take it, tortured stupid on ecstasy. He licks a stripe up your back before pressing you down prone, ankles locked around yours to keep you open and accessible.

“S’alright, doll, don’t need to be good to be mine.”

He’s barely pulling out halfway before ramming home now. You can barely get a breath in, the weight of him pressing whatever resistance was left right out of you.

“Daddy, daddy,” you sob. “Fuck, I wan’ it.”

“Want it, huh?”

“Mhmm,” you moan, pressing your face into your arms. Cant your hips just that little bit to get him abusing that bundle of nerves.

“Oh, right there, huh?” He coos. “Did daddy find your little sweet spot?”

A series of short, ruthless thrusts right there, making incoherent, desperate noises fall from your mouth. Before you realize it, he’s wedged a hand beneath your hips and has two fingers toying with your poor, neglected clit.

“‘M gonna… f-fuck, fuck,” you whine, writhing (or at least trying to) against him. Not sure if you’re trying to urge him on or get away. Doesn’t matter, he’s in charge, has been since the beginning. “Daddy, I wanna…”

“Whenever you want, babygirl,” he replies, voice going all warm and gooey. Your chest hitches. “Squeeze around me nice and tight. Let me feel you cum on my cock.”

Didn’t realize that was what you needed, but you fucking scream as you clench down around him, stars bursting behind your closed eyes. He fucks you through it, tapping against your g-spot again and again until you dissolve into a weak, wet whimpers.

“Daddyyyy,” you whine.

And that sets him off, flooding you with heat. He loses control for a second as his hips jerk, pounding brutally into your oversensitive, swollen pussy. Makes a few tears finally slip down, soaking into the sheets along with your drool. The sound of him groaning as he cums makes you spasm around him again, a little aftershock that milks the last of his release.

“That’s it, easy,” he groans, brushing kisses over your trembling shoulders. “Easy, doll.”

He lies over you for a few minutes, letting you feel him there. Right there with you. Breathing and recovering, holding you through the endorphin rush. When you squirm a bit, he eases off you, cock slipping out. You shiver at the feeling of his cum trickling out of you, glassy eyes fluttering.

“C’mere,” he soothes, tugging you in. Lying on his side, he hitches one of your thighs up over his hip, tucks your arms between your chests and rests his stubbly chin on your temple. You splay your fingers over his peck, over the bold, dark symbol for SpecGru. Feel his heart settling back into rhythm and sigh, snuggling in.

The hormone drop is a monster on your emotions, often leaves you shivery and lonely, a little sick in your own body. First time you did this with him ended in tears, expecting him to get up and leave. He didn’t, never has, but you both learned that as much physical contact as possible in the aftermath eases the comedown away from a total crash.

“You did so well, babygirl,” he whispers, leaving kisses everywhere he can reach without dislodging you. “Such a good girl. Even if you think you’re being bad.”

You flush, hide your face against his neck. He chuckles, honeybalm on your soul. Can feel his hand start to move, then pause as he remembers that you can’t handle that stimulation right after sex. So he just squeezes, slow and gentle, helps get you back in your body.

“I still want you,” he assures, echoing your mantra back at you. “Always will. You’re mine.”

You outline a heart shape onto his forearm, not quite able to speak yet. He recognize the feeling though and gently guides your face up to place a slow, gentle kiss to your lips.

“Love you, too, babygirl. Ready to clean up?”

You nod. He eases you up, lets you cling onto his hand as he walks you to the en suite. Fills you a glass of cool water to sip on while he gets the shower running. Turns his back while you use the restroom and wash your hands, then guides you into the hot water.

You lean into him, near boneless, as he washes you, calloused palms with soap instead of a cloth. Then sits still, hands on your hips, while you return the favor. This part is one of the most important for you, getting to freely return touch.

(Simon hardly ever let you touch, especially in the aftermath. Sure, you could scratch and grip at him during sex, but during foreplay it was all part of his dom persona that you couldn’t just touch at will. And afterwards… well. It’s not like he didn’t do aftercare. He did! But the almost formulaic warm cloth wipe down, glass of water, doze for a bit before he left was not… not ideal. Not like this.)

Your captain hums, eyes half-lidded but trained on you, while you smooth your palms over the firms planes of his muscles. Fingers tracing over tattoos and scars. Squishing and patting at the healthy layer of tissue over his stomach and thighs. Lets you nuzzle and kiss his soft cock, even though it makes his fingers twitch with oversensitivity.

Squeezes when you lace fingers together to stretch his arm out, inspecting the lines your nails carved into him.

“M’okay, baby,” he says before you can ask. “Feels good.”

You similarly assure him over the bruises on your wrists and hips, smiling and leaning up to kiss his jaw.

When the shower is over, he dries you off, playfully ruffling your hair just to kiss the pout off your lips. He dresses you in one of his shirts and a spare pair of your own joggers, found in his duffel.

You sit with him for a while longer still, enjoying how he lets himself relax once he knows you’re taken care of. He lies with his head on your chest, your fingers fluffing his hair, while the two of you watch an episode of some stupid show Keegan got the rest of the team into.

Only when it’s over does he ask if you’re ready to go to Nikto’s. If you wanted to stay, you could. Nikto would understand. But you’re looking forward to a night with your quiet Russian while the other three have a little movie night.

At the door, you kiss your captain goodnight. Hug and kiss Keegan and Nova as you pass them in the hall headed to his room. Nova makes a point of kissing one of the bruises on your wrist, while Keegan whispers that he loves you.

You pad to the first door in the hall, where Nikto has stationed himself as the team guard dog. You tap gently at the door, a pre-determined pattern to let him know who it is.

The door cracks open, one startling blue eye peering from the darkness.

“Evening, Nik,” you coo.

A hand reaches out and gently yanks you inside. And then next thing you know, you’re wrapped up in thick arms devoid of any usual covering. You feel smothered, in a good way.

“Love,” he rasps in Russian into your hair.

You hum in return. Place your palms flat on his abdomen. The muscles clench, you pause as you realize his abs, impressive as they are, feel too defined. He needs water. Taking mental note, you draw your hands carefully around, feeling the raised bumps of wicked scars. Make sure he can track exactly where and how you’re touching until your arms are wrapped around him in a return hug.

“Smell good,” he murmurs.

“Yeah?” You giggle. “Showered just for you.”

He snorts, then scoops you up. You make a delighted noise, wrapping your arms around his neck as he carries you across the room. Of course his navigation is impeccable, even in pitch black. He lays you down on the bed, but before he can crawl up with you, you place a hand on his shoulder.

“You’re dehydrated.”

He makes an annoyed noise, sounds like he’s about to protest. You shush him with a quick peck to his chest.

“Get a glass please? I could use some water myself.”

Which has him instantly moving. You politely turn away as the bathroom light flicks on, the water runs. Can hear him chug two entire glasses before he fills it one final time. The light turns off again. The bed dips as he returns, presses the cool edge gently to your cheek.

“Thank you,” you murmur, sipping about a quarter of it to appease him before he sets aside for you on a bedside table.

And then he gets what he really wants, stripping you down and tucking you in like a nesting bird. Practically on top of you while you’re still reeling from how much skin you can feel. Even during intimacy, he tends to stay clothed or mostly clothed. But right now all you can feel is a pair of underwear against your bare ass. Everywhere else it’s miles of warm skin, uncovered muscle and texture of scars.

“This is nice,” you coo. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.”

You wiggle around until you’re chest to chest. Start with his hands. Kiss each smooth fingertip, prints flayed off. Then his palms, the divots from nails driving through. Flip them over to kiss his scarred knuckles, smile at the way he twitches, flexing them outward like he’s trying not to close his hand.

“Okay?” You ask.

“Yes.”

You kiss his wrists, his forearms, to his collarbone. You’ve peeked a blue-black tattoo there before. Stars and the start of something that might be religious. Spend a little extra time there, tongue peeking out. He shifts; you take it as a sign of discomfort and move on.

“Here next,” he says when you dip to go to his chest.

He guides your face up his neck, where you press long (but chaste) kisses until you bump his jaw. And realize that’s all skin too.

“Oh,” you breathe. “Can I…?”

“Yes.”

You feather your lips along his fresh-shaved jaw, the nicked scars on his chin. Then up, ignoring the wicked scar along his cheek. Breathe against his temple, feeling dizzy with the trust he’s showing you.

“I love you,” you whisper, continuing along to his nose, twice broken and poorly set each time. A line over one nostril where a piercing was ripped out. He makes a noise in his throat, think he might be having trouble speaking again. Don’t mind.

He lets you get down to his mouth, where a particularly twisted scar warps part of his upper lip away from his teeth. You think that if you saw it in the light, his canine would be visible. His lower lip is uneven too, like a misaligned seam.

You don’t pay any special attention to any of it, focused more on reacquainting yourself with how your mouth fits with his. He doesn’t lead, doesn’t rush or pull or press. But there’s tension all along his body, everywhere you touch. You don’t ask for more than a chaste kiss, and when you pull away, you tilt your forehead gently against his.

“Still okay?” You ask.

“Still okay.”

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Masterlist

[charlessmiths-wife]

here - have some hcs about how the RE8 women would help you when you’re feeling a bit down! Bc we all know stress would be a lot easier to handle with some of our fave evil women by our side <3 ❤️💕💗💓

RE8 WOMEN COMFORTING YOU WHEN STRESSED/UPSET

ALCINA

-> In my mind Alcina sort of freaks out the first time she sees you get really stressed

-> she’s not been comforted much herself in her life, so she’s not entirely sure how to do it.

-> at first, she’s a tad maternal about the whole thing. she’s accustomed to comforting her daughters, however - she soon learns there’s a difference between the comfort of a mother and the comfort of a partner

-> and so with time, I reckon Alcina shifts and grows into an excellent partner to have around in instances of stress. she’s calm, she’s cool and collected. she’ll reason with you and rationally talk you down from your stress - before doing something with you to take your mind off it. maybe going for a walk or taking you on a date.

-> either way, your stress always dissipates with Alcina’s help.

BELA

-> Ugh. She can relate.

-> Bela is a stressed girlie herself, it’s something she’s accustomed to - therefore it’s something she’s used to dealing with.

-> She’d be very helpful. She’d talk it through with you, I reckon Bela is a great listener - and she’d hold you close whilst letting you talk about it for as long as you need.

-> picture this, your head on Bela’s chest, her fingers slowly stroking and combing through your hair whilst you tell her about all your worries, and she softly hums and nods along. being there for you every step of the way. who wouldn’t feel better?

CASSANDRA

-> lmao

-> Cassandra is the love of my life, so I can confidently admit that for a while babygirl would have NO IDEA what she’s doing

-> I think Cassandra is a very rational woman, and so seeing you upset immediately makes her think there’s some sort of immediate threat that needs sorting out.

-> so her initial reaction might be more… panicked than the calm and cool response you might see from the rest of her family members

-> however once you assure her you’re in no harm or danger, she’ll calm down, and then she can get to comforting you.

-> because she’s so rational, Cassie is EXCELLENT at providing advice for your situation.

-> she’ll sort whatever’s upsetting you out instantly. she’s just that good.

-> and, of course, she’ll do her best to comfort you along the way. Pressing a kiss to your forehead and reminding you how proud she is of you. I’m in love.

DANIELA

-> babygirl is like a KOALA BEAR

-> when Dani can tell your stressed/generally upset, she’ll cling to you. cuddling up with you as much as she can and not letting you go.

-> “oh my poor baby! come here, lie down with me.”

-> she’ll pepper your face with kisses. all whilst letting you complain all you need about whatever’s getting you down.

-> she’ll also join in on the complaining. which is just… so funny?

-> “ugh, I’m sorry about your boss my love…. she sounds like a total jerk!” “… you don’t know her, Dani.” “Still!”

-> it’s just very loving from her. as she is with everything. she’ll hold your hand and kiss you softly and tell you how loved you are, and remind you that you’ll always have her.

DONNA

-> the first time she sees you stressed or upset - DONNA. FREAKS. OUT.

-> somehow even more than Cassandra and Alcina combined.

-> however, as time passes and you guys get to know each other more and more… Donna becomes amazing?

-> she can instantly tell when somethings getting you down. and from there she acts as a silent but strong presence. she’ll guide you through whatever’s getting you down.

-> her go to plan is to run the pair of you a bath, and then cook you dinner. I head cannon Donna is an EXCELLENT cook and she knows how to cook up a comforting and hearty dish that’ll make you feel just better.

-> she’s very good at dealing with the emotional aspect of it all. she might not always know exactly what advice to give, but she is an EXCELLENT listener and she’ll always do her absolute best to calm you down. rubbing your back and holding you close, wiping your tears if needs be.

-> (can you tell im a massive Donna girlie?)

MIRANDA

-> surprisingly, she’s excellent.

-> Miranda’s well accustomed, in my mind, to dealing with you being upset/stressed about a situation.

-> she knows if you need comforting or advice.

-> if it’s comforting you need, she’ll pull out all the stops. running you a bath, rubbing your back, letting you talk it out.

-> if it’s advice you need, Miranda is excellent. she’ll help you sort your situation out as quick as possible.

-> no matter what, she’ll brew you a cup of tea and remind you not to let things get you down. she reminds you of the importance of only concerning yourself with what you can control.

-> she’ll tell you how well you’re doing, and how loved you are. kissing you softly and resting your forehead against hers. she makes the world calm down for you.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Hi asmi it’s me do u have any life advice because good omens is making mine fall apart ngl

*wobbles into my overflowing askbox that I have got to get through sorry maggots it's been a while* *sneezes* *squints through watering eyes* AIGHT CLEARLY I'M IN THE BEST POSSIBLE STATE TO GIVE LIFE ADVICE.

GIRD YOUR LOINS AND HEAR THE WISDOM OF THE GOOD OMENS MASCOT:

Some days even getting out of bed is a struggle and that's perfectly valid and okay

Cry and puke when your body says you need to I swear it feels much better after

If you get arrested don't call the cops babygirls

If someone hasn't watched good omens, don't shut up about it until they do

If people consistently make you feel horrible then they're not right for you no matter how much they love you or you love them

Pay attention on the metro/subway/bus and don't miss your stop because you were listening to WAP and thinking gay thoughts

"Fuck it we ball" does not apply to situations that require highly skilled labour of a skill you do not possess

It's always a bad idea to be strongly opinionated about things you are not educated about

Don't make decisions based on fear

Do, however, make decisions after calculating actual risks

If someone says Good Omens is heterosexual and cis, pity them and move on

Just because you feel scared doesn't mean something bad is going to happen, that's called emotional reasoning and it's a logical fallacy

Time spent being happy is equally productive as time spent doing work

Time spent thinking about Crowley and Aziraphale is also equally productive if someone argues with that worry not I'll bite their toes for you

Expiry dates are not a suggestion

Neither was the Geneva convention

You are loved <3

[steddieunderdogfics]

writing in to rec smoke signals by virgomoom

smoke signals by virgomoom

Rating: Teen and Up

40,568 words, 13/13 chapters

Archive Warning: No Warnings

Tags: Bisexual Steve Harrington, Gay Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington Wears Glasses, Recreational Drug Use, Steve Harrington Needs a Hug, Mike Wheeler Being an Idiot, Eddie Munson is Whipped, Good Babysitter Steve Harrington, No beta we die like Barb, Eddie wants Steve so bad its embarrassing, Fulfilling my Steve Harrington Babygirl Agenda, Not Canon Compliant - Stranger Things 4 Vol. 2, Everybody Lives, Disabled Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Confused Mike Wheeler, Steve Harrington cannot give advice, Steve Harrington-centric, Steve Harrington Wears Short Shorts, Steve Harrington Has Nightmares, Eddie Munson Calls Steve Harrington Pet Names, minor alcohol abuse but not really steve just goes through it for a second, Idiots in Love, Overuse of italics, god i hope this plot makes sense remembering plot details is so hard, eddie munson is an idiot but he's MY idiot, we love a nancy/steve platonic friendship, byers/hopper siblings supremacy

Summary:

“Here, Stevie, let me raise you an offer. When you’re done with work tonight, come over to my place and I’ll smoke you up, free of charge, and then you can decide whether I’m worthy enough to be your primary dealer.” "Fine." _____ Steve can't sleep, so Eddie extends a helping hand.

Thanks for the rec!

Know a fic that deserves extra love? Submit through our asks!

[carmillas-vampiric-rage]

a couple Círdan headcanons that make me giggle

by popular demand (two people but you see the vision) I bring you more romantic fluff of my babygirl

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this took me forever whoops bc i got trapped by santiago again. I've also just been having trouble writing and coming up with headcanons in general, but I'm happy with these two. if y'all have any círdan headcanons plssss repost this and tell me!!!!

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He doesn't always love being vulnerable, he would much rather be the one letting someone else be as such. giving advice and support where he can, and just listening when someone needs it. But he'd be lying if he said he didn't feel safe when you'd do his hair.

you noticed how much he adored when you'd run your hands through his long, curly locks. He'd sigh contently, leaning back between your thighs, as you'd absently combed through his hair with your fingers. Sometimes it would just be that: the two of you would sit in comfortable silence as the sounds of the sea washed around you, the distant sound of birds chirping loudly at each other. Other times he'd ask you to braid his hair in a detailed fashion, and you'd smile as you asked him what type of braids he wanted, how many, how long he actually wanted to sit there. He'd always keep whatever style you'd created as long as he could, showering you with endless praise at how talented you were.

Other days, you'd just message his neck and scalp, and he never seemed to realize how much stress he kept there. you'd tell him about your day as you gently pressed against the back of his scalp, the sound of your voice always making him feel at peace. sometimes he'd fall asleep, and you'd sit there as long as you had to, never even thinking to disturb him. he would gently wake, his head rising from against your stomach, always a little confused at how much time had passed.

you'd kiss him gently -your lips lingering- and laugh, telling him he needed the rest.

You never forgave Círdan for laughing at you the time you fell head first into the water. You hated the water, and tho you could swim, you never did. Círdan apologized profusely as he stared at your soaking wet hair and dress, and furious face, but he couldn't get the image of you just your feet as you splashed into the water. He'd turned around a little to fast as you'd stood up on the -somewhat sturdy- boat, and that was the last time you'd ever be in said boat.

He felt horrible later -he told you- for nearly laughing, but quickly made it to the other side to make sure you hadn't drowned. You'd already popped up from the water, a look of pure disgust and horror on your pretty face. And Círdan must have not felt that bad because he began laughing. A deep hearty laugh that filled you with rage and made you splash water at him. he helped you back into the boat but he was still laughing, trying and failing to stop. You threatened him, half-heartedly hit him, but he couldn't stop giggling. To this day he still thinks about it and gets into a fit of devious giggles.

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hopefully i can think of more for this beautiful man. writing in general has just been hard for me lately. but thank you for reading those lovelies

[luvv4j4ybe11]

Felt the need to come have a wee chat to you in your inbox 🩷 wondered if you had any advice for me as I'm trying to start writing for the avatar fandom here and there? Ive already done a couple of pieces but 🤷 any advice would be greatly appreciated 🙏 also constructive criticism if you happen to take a look at what I've done (tho you absolutely do not have to ofccc) Ty babes have the loveliest day/night

I would say the best thing to do is read other people’s pieces so you have more info for your fic, and then just start writing! Just let everything flow together. And if you get stuck with something I’m always happy to help. Because when I posted my first fic I was anxious asfff but I asked my some of my mutuals to give me advice and proofread it and that’s exactly what they did! So I’m glad you reached out to me of all people like🥹 you’re the sweetest frl🩷🩷

Here are some more of my tips bc I didn’t say a lot in this ⬆️:

- when you read other people’s fics, make sure it’s the same topic as yours (so like smut,fluff, angst)

- try to avoid usin the word “said” or “says”, I usually will look up other words on safari or Pinterest bc they always help me out. But also it’s not the end of the world if you do use them, just don’t make it a habit ofc.

- make sure you put warnings, a summary(if you want), and translation(if you want), but warnings are the most important! Just to make sure people know wtf they ab to read😭

- in your fics make sure to talk about their tails and ears, bc i always do that since i like the visual it gives (especially if you’re writing a smutty story 😩)

- add periods and comas in the right places. And I know that seems obvious but I always forget to do it, even after I’ve proofread 3 times😭

- and adding to this ⬆️ when the character your writing for calls reader a pet name or vise versa, always put a coma before or after the pet name, depending on what your writing. So like: “what’s up, baby?” Or “mama, come here.”

- when you write dialogue, putting an action before the talking is what I like to do best. Idk why but it just flows better for me and I just like it. So for example:

“You brushed the two braids that hung infront of his face behind his ear. Catching his attention quickly as he looked at you with pretty amber eyes filled with confusion, brows furrowed together. “Come on, yawntu, I wanna show you something.” You purr before grabbing his hand and tugging him up, both of you racing to the forest together.”

- don’t forget capitals and punctuation! I do that a lot in my fics, that’s why proofreading is so important.

- adding to this ⬆️ tho, PROOFREADDD!! It’ll save you from embarrassment I promise 😭 I’ll always catch a word I spelled wrong or I’ll add something in or take something out and just fix my fic to my liking. But even if you don’t that’s fine!! People on this side of tumblr are always here to help with little mistakes made in your fics or they’ll just ignore it and fill it in mentally, bc we all know what you’re tryna say.

- also when you’re trying to focus on a character’s emotions, try to describe it with their speech and expressions. Example:

With expressions: “You threw your things down and sat on the bed with a huff. Brows knit tightly together and lips curled up in anger.”

With speech:“Leave me alone, *name*! I don’t wanna talk right now!” You shout at your mate, guilt slowly pooling into your stomach when you see his ears pin to his head, tail swaying behind him sadly. Causing your expression to soften as you walk over to him.”

- use italics,colors, and bold to make the story more interesting and dramatic. (A personal favorite of mine)

Example:

“He picks you up swiftly, saying a quick goodbye to his friends before storming to your shared hut. “You just love making me mad, don’t you, babygirl?” He growls, the anger radiating off of him making you stay silent. “Answer me.” He says sternly as he slaps your thigh. Hard. “Y..yes..” tone barely above a whisper, but it was loud enough for him to pick up on. Making a pleased smirk appear on his face before he opens the flaps to your hut.”

- the most important of all is to have fun!! Don’t overthink anythin and js let everything flow naturally. You got this baby<33

Here are some of the people whose fics I’ve read and learned from! I hope they help you out as much as they did for me🩷: @pandorxxx @pandorxxx @plooto @sweethoneycn @tiredmamaissy @teyamsatan @tallulah477 @tiyawnyana @teymars @hotdsworld @blue-slxt @neteyamssyulang @neteyamswillow @neteyamkink @neteyamsyawntu @atxxokirina @sulieykte @wheneclipsefalls @eyweveng @zafrinaxyz @inlovewithpandora @iseeyou-neteyam

I hope this helped you out! And my dms are open if you need any more help from me<33

[deesseshesca]

Dang I like your aesthetic but you’re readings never resonate with me

First thing first ... thank you so much for the question. I hope you my answer resonate with you.

PART-1

I had to sit down and ask my spirit guides before I ask about you... what the heck is up with me ? You don't understand how grateful I am with your simple yet effective review. Another prove that sometime ''a wish come truth'' is not always something that feels good. Since I am who I am I crave genuine and you handed it to me. You don't understand how fixated on whether or not my reading resonate. I am not the type to care for number but you need to start some where. Than multiple well resected tarot reader on my timeline applaud my work. I knew I was not a scammer and y'all can sense that 2. Yet the people don't seem to love my blog (still the number (notes)). Change aesthetic and strategy it goes up. Somewhere I had to become more familiar with my own aesthetic and I actually had to learn how Tumblr works. I've spend over 5 years on this app yet a bitch did not even know how a like work. That's when I saw consistent growth (follower). Yet... no real review ... like what the fuck do y'all actually think of this blog. I ask but there's only so much I can force out of y'all.

Let me tell you why you guys may not resonate

I had a little meeting with my spirit guides ... if I don't sugarcoat for you ... I don't sugar coated for me.

Q1: Since is a PAC on a broad platform it will make sense that I just did not connect with their energy ?

Yes.

Q2: Maybe I did connect but never post it ? (I have so many PAC that I don't post... My spirit warn me that this shit is going to bite me back in the ass)

Yes.

Q3: I hate basic question, therefore I only welcome a certain collective which makes me loose connection with the rest of energy ?

Yes.

Q4: Since my description are extremely precise, some people may give up before even getting into the reading ?

Yes but Girl we been told you that would since the beginning.

Ok but than y'all send specific elements ... am I suppose to ignore it ?

Babygirl don't play dumb ... when you want to max out an audience you have to be broad.

But y'all know I prefer to be right than being loved.

There's she go again being stubborn where is not even needed.

Q5: If I follow my marketing degree and stop being stubborn will people resonate ?

YES!

Q6: Is the problem my tone of writing ?

Yes.

Q7: Should I fix it ?

Yes.

Q8: What does my audience want ?

They want a safe place in which they can come and grap some good advice. Don't get them wrong they love the detail, they are very intrigue by you. While reading you they realize you have a big lore yet nothing is coming out or you give off the vibe of a with in a forest (Yak... you know I hate camping-Girl is not about you !). You give the vibe of a big siter that been there done that, yet they have actually no real idea what u been through but they trust your advice. They love your advice is practical and empathic.

Q9 : If they love me so much ... why are we not as close as other community ?

YOUR NAGGNG PROBLEM. Every time they open a PAC, they have to get ready to be roast at 4 times, be call out of their name all the damm time and being drag through the woods like a useless doll. Sometime all that nagging ain't worth the good advice. Instead of acting like the cool cousin or anty. You out here nagging like a big sister that is never please. (First ... ouch I am a real life big sister that nag but I do it because I don't want them to fall for life illusion. I want them to be better and do better). Shesca that always been your problem (nah I don't feel like we are only talking about tarot no more ...) your need to protect often destroy. Because the same vulnerable soul that are coming for answer deserve also love, comfort and grace and not just protection. Some of them already know they mess up ... they don't need a ransom bitch on the internet to remind them. They want comfort. You need to learn how to love and protect.

CONCLUSION : (Hum.. I feel like a kid that just got yell at in the middle of the super market) This is definitely more than just tarot. WTF... not your message being life changing. Ok my Chérie D'amour, I commit to be more gentle and loving and just know that whatever I've done did not come from an evil place (just wanted to be a wake up call not a slap across the face) but because I actually am rooting for each one of y'all. Not me give lame ass apology like an abusive parent (wait... I knew this shit was more than fucking tarot). Let me prove it to y'all. Give me a second chance babe ... I will do better. Starting with you.

PART-2

Here is my apology (because when u wrote that, I know you were not waiting on some long ass sorry post and also because I am extremely grateful for your comments. You saved 3 hours of aesthetic changing because I though my blog was not cute enough and that's why people did not interact with me. Just found out I am just a scary bitch. Sorry y'all...)

What's your current energy ? (Only song for you love life came through)

You crave love. I am not even talking relationship wise ... I am more getting family wise. You come a rather abundant family. Never had a issue worry about basic needs and you probably did private school, honors program, trip once a year, your parent probably brought you you first car and there is not a single thing your dad ain't going to buy for you. Yet ... you hate the environment you been brough up in. They always arguing all the time. You hate loud noise. You are sometime force to chime in but all you are screaming about is wanting love. I'm hearing : Mom - You really had to take his side ? You: Mom ... really ... all I want is for it to stop. Y'all dread the holiday because is the same family dinner that always end up in a mess. Y'all love your family so much. You just wish they love you enough to love each other. The advice coming through is to let go. Even when they try to bring you in runaway or repeated over and over again that you don't want to take side or you can't take side. I'm going to be honest they argue so much that is not even about a specific issue is because everyone is so focus on their own pain.

Future energy

Everything is going to get better. There is so much love in y'all family. Y'all just need to learn to stop fighting each other but more the issue. When you are going to refocus your mind on the issue and not each other mistake and pain y'all will literally enter 10 pentacles phase. Which is the card for ultimate pro-active family bound that last generation. Side note maybe y'all have some ancestral karmic tie related to family that need t be heal. You are ask to keep a distance with pettiness and stay full of love.

What's current energy with your love life ?

You are mad that someday did not pick you. You are not giving me pick me vibe but I am getting you are a 10 across the board (that you is ... babe your body is tea, skin is clear, you have a job and go to school ... mamacita has motion) yet not only did they not choose you. They humiliate you.

Song : More than I should - Kehlani ft Jessie Reyez

Future energy love life

Somebody new is walking in your life in the next 2 weeks. Babe you are going to be on heat for that person. Don't worry because they will show they want you. Is not lust but is not love. Both of you are feeling the same thing but you are not going to be honest with your feeling. Preferring hiding behind games. The way they desire for you body, you touch is like a storm of passionate emotion where no matter what they do they are falling for you. Every time you text them, send a selfie, a voice note, touch them, look at them ... just exist they are fighting to sweep you off your feet and run away. They are always going to be with that one close friend. The reason you won't allow your self to fall for it is they have different background and look from you. I am getting a preppy, old money, sober Sally vibe from you. Meaning you may have grow up in a religious family in which a lot of expectation is sitting on your shoulder and who you are going to marry is definitely one of them. Maybe they come from a more open minded family. They may have tattoo, more darker aesthetic and don't have the social etiquette your parent put in you. You don't think less of them you just know that your family is not going to accept it. That's it. Usually I shuffle for more but spirit kept stopping me. You have to choose. You have to decide were do you want this to go. All I know is that they are always going to choose you. They are actually going to be the one waiting from an answer from you.

Song : Your stuck - Odeal ft Summer walker

On that note good night Chérie d'Amour and thank you for your bless message.

[bucketspammer4life]

☆ how the boxers react to being flirted with ☆

Sorry for dissapearing (again), i was busy damaging my hearing, enjoy my woobification teehee

Glass Joe

- Really depends on how you flirt with him, if its poetic or really straightforward hes gonna turn into a tomato

- hes not giggling, its just your imagination nuh uh

- he def rolls in bed like a rotisserie chicken while thinking about ur pick up line

- hes gonna try to flirt back until its just a competition of who blushes the hardest

Von Kaiser

- actual jaw drop from him, the more poetic the better

- in shock, his brain literally turns off

- has to check his pulse because GODDAMN his heart is beating harder than usual (You may have a heart palpitation, kaiser)

- you live rent free in his head now congratulations

Disco Kid

- right back at you, if youre a bit too straightforward he may need to tell you to slow down

- youre getting a response IMMEDIATLY. And i mean it, fresh out of the oven, thrown at you with some sprinkles on top

- giggling while he calls you cute names like sweetie, honey, baby etc etc

King Hippo

- nice try, HES AROACE!! (GET HEADCANONED IDIOT!!)

- he laughs it off while making it clear hes not into you or anyone

- flattered though, appreciates the fact that you were willing to go out of your way to approach him

- if he was not aroace or only ace, he'd just smile, the more poetic you go with him the better you have chance of making him go red

Piston Hondo

- hes suddenly cosplaying a cherry

- loves poetic rizz, will definitely go back at you until both of your flirting attempts sound like two lovers mailing each other in opposite sides of the world while one is at war

- if youre straightforward he just gets flabbergasted, like what do you mean there isnt a build up for it with 20 poems inbetween??

- cant focus rest of the day, hes internally screaming off a mountain

- the sight of you just makes his ability to focus evaporate

- draws and/or writes about you rest of the day

Great Tiger

- if you use something clever you can get a small blush out of him

- if you're the type to go for poetic lines youre gonna need to call 911 because his soul literally vanishes from existence, tiger dont go into the light stay with us PLEASE

- has to have his clones give him flirting advice because his flirting skills are not there (like 80% of my hearing)

- his flirting attempts are just "damn, are you a construction worker?, because you are a building." no matter how much he tries

Bear Hugger

- he makes his reactions clear, literally emotes while you flirt with him

- if youre poetic or straightforward he literally just says "woah"

- he just turns into that one cartoon wolf im not kidding, literal "ohh mama hubba hubba" from this man

- his flirting style is very straightforward, not "hey babygirl" type but "youre so pretty i would leave all my belongings and change my identity if it ment i could hold your hand" type, do you understand??

Don Flamenco

- replies 1.2 seconds after you, he needs to have the last word here (or last rizz in this case)

- literal mirror, the more more straightforward & atrocious your lines are the more straightforward his are going to be until it devolves into both of you sounding down bad, when they go low, he goes lowER

- poetic lines makes him have a heart attack

- its actually possible to fluster him

- unironically says babygirl to anyone hes flirting with when approaching, it doesnt matter how tall, strong or flirty you are, your gender doesnt matter, he can and will call you babygirl, its a gender neutral term for him, corners you while doing it

Aran Ryan

- evil cackling, if you put a organ over his laugh you suddenly get a scooby doo villain, he sounds less like hes flustered and more like hes about to detonate a nuclear bomb

- unhinged lines, ends up getting restraining orders thrown at him

- brings things he finds cool to flirt, ranging from flowers to rocks (he was a evil crow in a past life trust me his left eyebrow told me)

- cartwheels away

Soda Popinski

- maniacal giggling, even if its not THAT good & ridiculously straightforward

- his pick up lines unintentionally sound like god tier shitposts & end up working somehow

- corners you (in the romantic way) if you're really direct

- has the silliest giggle when flustered, literal "hehe" coming from this man that could snap you in half if he wanted to

Bald Bull

- you think the others are bad at handling flirting?? Then you havent seen bald bull because OH MY GOD HES ABOUT TO LITERALLY FLY OFF THE EARTH

- hes actually fairly difficult to fluster but once you find his weak spot hes gone from there

- cannot flirt back, blurts something dumb out like "sorry im all red pretty people make me nauseous"

- he literally goes (> - <) when blushing & covers his face with his hands

- the more direct you are the closer he gets to passing out

- stutters a lot (omg y/n is that you)

- Bull, this is bottom behavior

- people use the most unhinged pick up lines on him, someone once told him "let me milk you."

- his hands automatically go 👉👈 if hes too flustered

Super Macho Man

- Stop boosting his ego please, he may be flustered but youre kinda enabling him

- dumbest pick up lines

- also another unironic "hey babygirl" user

- if he doesnt know what to do he just throws money & valuables, 5000 dollars be upon ye

Mr Sandman

- oh my god he has the sweetest smile ever (if you dont go too straightforward), he doesnt blush a whole lot but he just chuckles a bit

- if youre direct, his jaw also drops like huh??

- his weak spots are poems & small gifts

- a little bit dense but once he gets it he smiles like crazy

- giggling kicking his feet whenever he remembers that

[cobra-creampuff]

Hey. So. I just had a thought. Totally out of the blue. What about OFMD characters as Tarot cards, huh? Whadaya think? Totally unprompted thought.

Wow, what a strange and interesting thought to have without any kind of cue at all... 🤔

Okay disclaimer. This isn't going to have everyone or tbh even most of 'em, because this post is fully brought to you by how no character has more perfectly exemplified The Hermit to me before and not much else.

Stede + The Fool

I think Stede and Ed both fit this very well (among other characters). I had a plan a while back to draw a card where Stede was The Fool upright and Ed was The Fool Reversed except instead of The Fool and The Fool Reversed it was Fuck Around and Find Out, but then I couldn't find reference pics I liked and I actually can't draw. So. But anyway. I don't feel like I need to defend this pick? Stede is at the beginning of the journey of his life and he's got a youthful energy because of that, but he's ill prepared and needs guidance!

Ed + The Devil

Fave card alert. Ed has a pretty clear "dark side" that he believes he can keep separate from his "good side" - which of course is not possible, they coexist. This dark side consists of his temper, his traumatic past, his self loathing, etc, all things brought up in The Devil. He also tries to satisfy these darker things with instant gratification type shit - drugs, sex(? metaphorical? who can say what he's been doing to Izzy or not askfjsk, but at least it was literal with Jack anyway), physical destruction, sadism, etc. He also has himself convinced he has no control or choice over his actions, that he's just evil or whatever, which this card addresses. The Devil can also represent a powerful and passionate relationship - or a codependent one, like Ed and Izzy's. And of course he also does literally just call himself the Devil straight-up. Who am I to argue.

Zheng + The Empress

I mean she has an Empire, so. A bit on the nose, but you can't beat 1:1 accuracy lmao. She also has her balancing act between tenderness and authoritarianism. She's nurturing (so far, but considering her ship is called the Red Flag I doubt that's gonna last or will be proven disingenuous soon, but anyway...) but it can't be questioned that she is the Ruler of Rulers.

Oluwande + Strength

Patience! Gentleness not from the lack of violence but despite the abundance of it! Commitment! Steadfastness! Emotional endurance! Yeah!

Ben + The Hermit

My longest yeah boi ever. A man at a remote location in nature that may or may not materially exist, there to guide a lone, lost visitor to understanding of himself in absolute spiritual solitude. I mean, there have been purgatories just like this one in fiction before, but none of them quite struck The Hermit so hard on the nail for me as Ben did.

Izzy + The Hanged Man

*ominous - and disconcertingly horny - chanting* Whipping Boy! Whipping Boy! Whipping Boy! Not just that, though, of course. As a character Izzy also represents the need to put things on pause and think them the fuck through before you do some stupidass shit. He wanted a plan, and when he didn't get one he put a screeching fucking halt to god damn everything. And then he didn't fully think through his own actions either and got fucking murdered about it lol. He also, narratively, represents a differing perspective (at least in season one) from the accepted standard, that without considering - as many """fans""" have proven lmfao - you cannot fully understand the story. Izzy is also the number one guy who would need to take The Hanged Man's advice. Give up, bud!!! It's over!!! Stop torturing yourself!!! (Don't actually though, babygirl you look so good 🫦)

Black Pete + Knight of Cups

He's so romantic... *dreamy sigh* When he's at his best, he's compassionate, understanding, emotionally available and expressive, and has such an innocent natural charm. At his less best, he's constantly talking talk he actually can't or won't back up with action. "I'm a perfect shot," he says, and then balks at being asked to shoot something mere hours later. He has an idealized, unrealistic view of himself.

Jim + Page of Wands

Like The Fool, the Page of Wands is at the beginning of their journey, but they are still deliberating about where exactly it is they want to go. Jim in particular has two clear paths they can take in becoming the person they'll be. They can take the path of revenge and ruthlessness laid out for them by Nana and Blackbeard, or they can take the path of redemption and compassion they're being invited to by Oluwande and Stede. And the only way to figure out which way to go is to look internally and discover what they truly want, and choose the path that will give them that.

Frenchie + Page of Swords

Frenchie is full of ideas and enthusiasm! But he's also very adaptable, and though he's got that youthful energy he is not necessarily lacking in awareness or experience. He's a Jack of all trades like The Magician, but without the social separation or ambition. Reversed, Page of Swords can represent repression and lack of communication, which Frenchie "Invented Compartmentalization" is clearly familiar with. It can also be about promises you can't - or have no intention to - keep, like Frenchie's murderboat First Mate duties.

We don't really need to address how BlackBonnet are The Lovers, I think. And I've already seen more than one fanart of BlackHands as Three of Swords, so I'll just mark that correct shall I? ✔️ Keep 'em coming baby.

Thank you so much for indulging me, Andie!! IDK if you're even in this fandom at all or not alsfjks, but I hope you like these answers anyway.

[fiveeatseight]

https://www.tumblr.com/fiveeatseight/774145283995090944/babys-first-anon-hate?source=share

these cowardly haters don’t even have the guts to reveal themselves and instead hide behind anon 🤦🏻‍♀️

for some reason I’ve only ever seen bottom Pedri shipper blogs receiving hate 😭 I’m being so fr right now. It’s not a coincidence anymore. Like whenever we try to spread the babygirl Pedri agenda these stupid haters show up and wanna ruin the fun. 😔 only solution is to block them and don’t even give them the satisfaction to answer their useless asks

And it’s always the same excuses for their hateful comments: “how dare you ship pedri with a madridista 😡”, “don’t portray Pedri as gay”, “don’t feminise him 🤬”, “don’t call him pretty”, “don’t fill up the Pedri tag with content that doesn’t have to do with football or gadri 😡😡😡” and so on and on 🤡

it’s really ridiculous atp, I’ve NEVER seen gavi centred blogs that DO sexualise and openly ship him with other players and madridistas as well get hated on, it’s always the bottom Pedri blogs that for some odd and incomprehensible reason riles these haters up as if they can’t bear the thought of someone else (aka Pedri) getting the princess treatment here 🤨 like get a life and leave, the blocking button is free - I don’t get why they have to announce themselves so rudely, like how miserable does one person have to be??

I even considered telling you in advance to not give a shit about the hate asks that sooner or later will arrive but I didn’t wanna scare you away 🥺 My advice would be to just block these anonymous hater asks which will prevent them from filling up your inbox since their asks will never reach you, they will just hate into the void 😂

I’m sorry that you had to deal with that hater ❤️ Ppl behind bottom Pedri blogs are fr god’s biggest soldiers. But PLEASE don’t let yourself get intimidated and don’t stop posting as unfiltered and freely as before; these haters just wanna stop the babygirl Pedri and Jude x Pedri movement even though that is exactly what football tumblr needs and what I was craving for so long until you came 😍 - me and so many others love your content, your blog has already become my fav on here 🥹 you will always have my support 🫂

dont worry anon their message doesnt bother me at all 🫂❤️ (if anything, i was wondering when i’d get a hate inbox LOL). if only they directed this kind of energy to FT fanboys who downright insult pedri every day

but frfr what you said is exactly what the message said lmao. i dont even try to make pedri a twink. he IS a twink. a pretty one at that. did they not realize that fc barcelona legacy has been carried by TWINKS? 🕊️ also me shipping pedri with jude is equal to being a cuck eventho i dont rate madrid… god forbid girls having fun.

if pedri getting princess treatment is pissing off people then ill do it 10x if i have to 🙂‍↕️

thanks for your support anon!💕 i kind of already expected this kind of hate msgs would get me when i started this blog lmao. if football rps/rpf is considered “bad”, then shipping direct rivals is practically a SIN (and boy im no better than judas himself)

[eusuntgratie]

🦷🌿🍅 for the new ask game!

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

if things feel shit, if you feel stuck... move your body and go outside. to whatever capacity you are able. i like to do these things, and i still have to make myself do it when things are bad. go outside, and move your body and things will feel a bit more manageable. <3

personal wisdom... do the little things that make you happy. don't postpone joy. don't make yourself earn comfort. burn the nice smelling candle instead of saving it. use the expensive shit you splurged on. wear your favorite shirt as soon as it comes out of the wash. get off in the middle of the day. make the snack you like. paint your nails. buy yourself flowers. read the book you want to read instead of the one you think you should. dance in the car or in the kitchen. put music on. work out even if you only have 10 minutes. it doesn't matter what it is. do the little things that make you happy. you deserve it.

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

for writer's block - skip ahead, baby! my writing improved SO MUCH when i gave myself permission to be messy. if your story doesn't have an outline and you're stuck, put what you need to fill in in brackets and move on to the next thing.

(they have sex)

or

[convo about feelings]

then write what comes after. at the end you'll go back in and fill in all those little gaps. staring at your document wishing you could write isn't getting words on the page. skip what you're stuck on and come back to it. if you're thinking "i can't write like that!" - yes you can. just give it a shot :)

for stories that have an outline or more formal plan, if you're stuck on chapter 4 or scene 16, but you have an idea for chapter 20, work on 20. allowing yourself to work on what's vibing will help get you unstuck. having more of your story to work with will make it easier to come back to what you skipped. write out of order! it will be okay! you will find inconsistencies when you edit, and you can fix them.

for low creativity, slide into someones dms! chatting with a friend is nearly always the best thing if i need new ideas. a lot of times even just talking through it i get there on my own. i also use music as a tool to get me in the right headspace for whatever i'm writing, which can unlock new ideas and inspo.

🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing

get out of your head and write, babygirl <3 i've got the words in there, and when i can let go and just write i write great words that i make even better at the end when i edit. when i get in my head about it my writing is flat and stilted. blast that music and go. clean it up later. get the messy draft out <3

writer truth or dare asks (or ask me anything!)

[gonegrove]

do you have any advice or tips for writing billy? like how to portray his personality

Wow honored to even get asked this!

First off I will say I’m sorry this took a bit. I got a Little Unhinged writing this, wrote like 1k of rambling thoughts on the topic, realized my ADHD meds had worn off and it’s impossible to maintain a coherent train of thought for something like this while also watching the show with a loud funny commentary track layered on top and stopped. Then the ADHD hit again and I forgot to get back to it yesterday when I was like, rested and coherent again lol.

I wanted to keep this more concise but I’m a Wordy Motherfucker. So I’m going to try and partition this into like, two main sections. There’s the more manageable section and the like, thought piece essay about what I consider like “the background noise of Billy Hargrove”. The stuff that’s not say, immediately actionable but are nice to do research into or keep in your mind while writing him. I hope this is actually useful and not super overwhelming.

Okay so, for me basically I have like, a Core Billy and then Billy Bits I add to taste depending on the story.

Basically for my Core Billy Elements it's:

Asshole Babygirl Tragic Backstory Spike TV But A Person

First off-- Asshole: he's gotta Kinda Fucking Suck. This is important because if you dig too deep into his trauma or try to nice him up too much in any way he's not Billy he's just Some Fucking Random Guy. He's a fake internet blorbo masquerading as our rat son. It's a critical element to balance out his Tragic Backstory. There's an understandable desire to make him more sympathetic or to show more of his softer side by making him act nicer and shit more frequently. Don't do this. I mean do do it but not a lot. Let him have a touching moment with Max then he turns around calls a girl a fattie. He might be getting nicer as he has a chance to grow or we might like him more as we learn about Why he’s Like That and all that shit but like.... he's still an asshole. He's just OUR asshole now.

Babygirl: he's a thottie. A slut. A sexy little boy. You can give him complex feelings and thoughts about his looks, how he feels about them, how much he cares and why. But he's gotta be kinda babygirl-ish. he's gotta give a shit about his looks and have a complex relationship with his sexuality. This is also the category of all his charm. This is where the Billy that was mackin’ on Mrs. Wheeler enters the chat. This is the zone of Billy’s dick cologne. It’s an important part of his character, as much as he sucks and can be super gross he’s also insanely charming and socially capable when he wants to be. It’s also one of his major methods of interacting with the world other than Asshole.

Tragic Backstory: Gotta have the trauma. Gotta have the trauma seep into and effect every thought, aspect and decision in his life. He's in an ongoing abusive situation in the show and it heavily effects what he does. Like half his decisions are to mitigate the damage Neil could do, the other half are in rebellion to Neil's control. Billy is WAY more tightly wound and in control than he seems. He has to be. If he was truly off the leash and going hog wild like some people like to think he was then he’d be in fucking jail already or 90% bruises from his dad beating the shit out of him daily. His mother abandoned him and left him to be raised by a violent, bigoted man. He was forced to give up his childhood to look after Max regardless of how much she even really needs looking after. Everything about Neil and his mom and how they’ve treated him colors how he looks at others and how he responds to situations. It’s good to show it explicitly when it makes sense sure, but generally it’s gonna be more subtle. Unless the point of the fic/rp/whatever is like ‘Billy Goes To Therapy” there should probably not be a lot of meaningful speeches about his trauma n shit. He will however say, have a visceral response to people yelling, have insane animosity towards aggro/controlling dudes, lose his SHIT if he thinks his partner’s gonna leave him and some very weird views on women.

Spike TV But A Person: He smokes. He drinks. He spits. He leaves his underwear around his room and doesn't clean for shit. He has sexy lady posters up and is basically what one pictures when you think of a stock "Guy". He's who Spike TV was made for. As much as he's vain about his own body and his carefully cultivated image, he's a fucking pig and a dog. This is part of his charm. He WILL make ball jokes if it makes sense. He likes sports and “guy stuff”. Like… He’s a Dude. A Bro. Some of this is performative, how much is up to you but he’s not… he’s not neat or hyper interested in “Deep” things or anything. While he’s complex he’s also a Teen Boy In The 80s and acts accordingly. Also ball jokes are just funny??????

it's like balancing the 4 humors. those are the major components of his personality and you have to try and add equal parts when writing him, tweaking the levels depending on things like scene content, genre, the whole point of the story etc.

There’s also a secret 5th element — like in the movie, The 5th Element — that completely shits on my humors analogy/metaphor/whatever.

Sensitive Little Guy: This is under all the other layers of bullshit. Under Asshole, Babygirl, Tragic Backstory, Spike TV But A Person is a Sensitive Little Guy. He’s hyper emotional, easily hurt, desperate for affection and understanding, and longing for people who care about him. He’s anxious, depressed, kind hearted, protective, unconvinced of his own worth, and living in a state of near constant fear. He has it in him to be kind and silly and loving if given the chance to show it but that chance rarely ever comes.

Now there’s the Billy Bits — things that are not say always mandatory but are solid additions which can add depth. I look at these when I’m writing or planning and make decisions on what feels right for the plot, it’s length, the genre, the ship if there is one etc. Like getting into Billy’s Rage Issues just does not make any sense for a quickie rom com story but works GREAT if you’re going a drama or anything where you want him to have a growth arc.

Here’s my usual Billy Bits:

Rage Issues — I mean… look at him. Ofc he’s got rage issues. Can be a really useful personality flaw to use in the right kind of story.

Mental Illness — There’s a lot of different takes on Billy’s mental health and what he may or may not be dealing with. It’s agreed upon that he’s got PTSD but another common thought is that he has BPD (borderline personality disorder). Given some of the things Dacre’s said he’s likely got anxiety issues and some amount of depression wouldn’t be a shock. It’s something to think about and do research on if you choose to use it.

Weird Views On Women — His mom abandoned him but also was like, the only person who actually loved him. His dad’s a violent misogynist. Billy compensates for his emotional issues partially via sexual encounters and is saturated in the culture of male spaces that don’t always really respect women much. There’s nooooo way he doesn’t have some Weird Views On Women. Not necessarily misogynistic (but like… lbr… kinda yeah) but definitely confused and contradictory — his mom and women like her are Good and better people than pretty much everyone else but also why would he date a girl for anything other than sex? Likely has some madonna-whore complex issues. Kinda guy who thinks of girls as kinda disposable while also the most likely to pour his guts out to one like that’ll fix him.

The Racism Thing — His dad is clearly bigoted and things like Runaway Max and Dacre in various interviews pretty much flat out say “yeah, Neil’s the absolute racist here”. How much you actually wanna get into this very much depends on like, your own views and what the story is about. My stance when I do touch on it is that Billy personally doesn’t really care much about race but he knows his dad does and knows what will happen to him if he finds out Billy’s got non-white friends. So he avoids as much as possible most of the time. In the end you get similar results to if he himself held the belief — he’s still treating someone differently for bigoted reasons — but he’s not like in their face calling them slurs n shit. It’s also something that he can be Aware of from day one about himself and be like “yeah, I kinda Fucking Hate This”.

Violence is Cool, Actually — idk I just think Billy should get to be a lil bloodthirsty and beat ass a lot. You know, as a treat. Like sometimes your story just needs someone who can go sicko mode at the drop of the hat and here’s Billy! Ready and Raring!

Abandonment Issues — His mom abandoned him and she was the only good thing in his life. He’s terrified of people leaving him and will react accordingly. With jealousy/possession, by pushing them away first, by trying to not even engage at all. He could have emotional outbursts if he thinks they’re leaving or feels like they’re withdrawing. He could be paranoid about it or give ultimatums. Any one of those is a solid way to have him grapple with it. It’s all about the story and what you’re aiming for.

Complex Views On Max — He hates her. He loves her. She’s a Fucking Load. She’s the only good thing to come out of this bullshit marriage. He doesn’t give a shit about her. He’s terrified for her safety. He hates having to babysit her all the time. He thinks she’s kinda dope as fuck.

Big Brain Billy — Billy is smart actually. There’s certainly no indication he’s stupid. The most you could say is that like in Runaway Max he’s struggling in school, likely because of external pressures or a learning disability, but he’s not an idiot. Underneath all the machismo and hairspray can be a pretty savvy guy. How this gets represented varies with personal opinion and taste. Some like him to be less book smart and more street smart and logistical. Some like him to be a good student along with having like real world intelligence.

Cool With His Queerness Billy — Some like to write him as maybe not out but definitely proud or just as cool with his sexuality as a dude who already hates himself can be. It’s a valid take and can be really good for opening up narrative doors or exploring topics.

NOT Cool With His Queerness Billy — dude’s raised by a Grade A Bigot and already hates himself. The idea that he’s struggling with his sexuality —maybe even to the point of self destruction — is not a big shock. Can also be done that he’s more freaked out by the idea of being outed or exposed in someway.

King Fuckboy — Sometimes he’s just like 😜 you know? Like sex jokes and lewd comments and ‘you up? ;)’ texts n shit. Just— the whole cursed package.

Literally Just A Walking Smiths Song — god idk how to even describe this just listen to some Smiths songs kdfghskjghfdgkjfds

Music Freak — We all need something to cope. Billy clearly likes music a lot and bands like Tank weren’t super popular at that time (Tank had like 1 album until the 00s) so a logical choice for Billy is music. Could be that plays an instrument or just that he’s really passionate about music and the music scene and learning about how music works.

King Fuckboy But Woke — When you’re such a fuckboy you somehow circle around to like… being shockingly cool and not awful? Like he’s still cruising for hook ups but like… he respects your pronouns and doesn’t treat women like they’re sex toys lol

Doesn’t Miss A Beat — He watches, doesn’t necessarily say much, but he sees a lot more than anyone gives him credit for. He watches and takes note of everything around him.

Fear Of The Cycle — Billy being afraid of becoming like his father. He does something — accidentally hit a girl, spouts some Neil Shit™ at Max, acts in some kinda crazy controlling way — and it fucking sides him off the edge of Oh Fuck. He always says he never wants to be Neil and he likes to think he’s nothing like him. Maybe he’s not, maybe the way you wanna do him he’s hyper-aware and hyper-vigilant to Not Be That. Maybe he kinda is, and he didn’t even realize it until it smacked him in the face. It’s an interesting theme to bring in as say, a minor plot line.

Okay and here’s the “Background Noise of Billy Hargrove” Essay:

He's a shitty dude and he'll always be kinda rough even and a prick even when he gets his shit together. He's insecure and struggling and emotionally maladapted. He's a sweetheart with a mountain of issues.

I think something that helps me when I write him (and when I write Steve for that matter) is that I've watched a lot of video essays and shit about the manosphere and men's issues (Hbomberguy, D’angelo Wallace, Big Joel, Foreign Man in a Foreign Land and FP Signifier are some guys of the top of my head who’ve talked about it in videos) and it really helps in understanding the struggles of guys like Billy who seem so awful but have all this shit going on underneath. there's actually a lot of societal shit and psychological strife that gets put on men that doesn't really get any time or consideration by like, most people? And it's very much the things people will rag on Billy for or how they'll talk about the Billy-Karen shit like it's a positive/Billy's in the wrong.

I was watching a video about male socialization today by Jesse Gender and in it she talks about her experience going up being socialized as a white male. How there was this huge amount of like, being stripped of identity. We'll all talk about how being a white male is the default and how this is an issue but the flip side of that for the white guys in question is that they're stripped of identity as individuals to fit that default. There's an enforced severance from heritage, emotion, humanity etc to instill manufactured dependence on the concept of men that society is pushing (and also capitalism but you know). Jesse talks about having this sort of empty void that became filled with this listless anger. That whole knowing something is wrong but not knowing what or how to do anything about it which presented itself in outbursts of anger like we see in Billy. Jesse was told once as a teen she'd have to go around and not walk through the cafeteria that day and in an irrational outburst of misplaced anger punched the door as hard as she could, permanently damaging her hand and getting suspended for it. She talks about how it really wasn't a big deal, there was no reason for this kind of response other than this just ever present gnawing sense of nothingness. It's why this motherfuckers get so horny for the Joker ya know?

All the older boys are very obviously effected by this kind men's issues thing but Billy's one of the most prominent, probably along side like early show Jonathan. He's projecting a mask of hyper masculinity as a defense mechanism. He's still undeniably masculine under it by American standards but like, the guy under all that is someone you'd hang out with. The guy he presents himself as? Not necessarily. Billy as he presents himself is a raging asshole because that's what plays well in hyper critical traditional male spaces. Be's serving alpha because he's got shit to hide and protect — like all his feelings and vulnerabilities. Homie is still a 17-18yo boy who wOn'T pIcK uP hIs RoOm and would think it's funny to lick someone's hand if they tried to put it over his mouth. He would probably smack his girlfriend's ass in public and think it's funny or flirty. He's got no issues with how messy and shitty Eddie's trailer is but also probably thinks Steve actually making his bed is "kinda gay".

It’s a mixed bag of being young, coming from a rough household, living in a society that rewards a lot of bad behaviors, having no good male role models and no mental health treatment.

There’s inherit struggles in who he was born as that are related to the way society denies men the ability to connect emotionally, to express themselves or to be vulnerable. He’s hurting and the only acceptable way for him to release any of his emotions is violence and anger. He’s consciously denied the tools to understand and cope with his own emotions by society and his father. He, like all the other boys in the show to some extent, is set up to fail. He’s expected to be Atlas and stoically take the abandonment, the abuse, the parentification, the uncertainty, the violence and the expectation. I cannot remember which video it was, I think it was an FD Signifier vid but he was talking about Animal Farm and how the horse worked himself to death, exhausting himself and breaking body over and over in the service of society. Men’s value is measured in the amount of violence they can endure and how much work they can do.

Also his family is working class so he's more in line with the Byers on the economic ladder which is a big factor. There's lots of ways that can effect someone's mentality and actions depending on like location/how poor/needs/family life/etc. I’m still working thru my research on this shit since I’m middle class as fuck, especially classism in the 80s, since it’s uh, Kinda Complex. But it’s a huge thing. Neil and Susan were both working parents (the Byers are also a 2 income household), the way Max talks about her street and the party’s reaction to hearing where she lives indicate they’re on the lower end. How far above the Munsons is up for grabs but they’re not much better.

Anything that can be used against you will be used against you. Billy only avoids the treatment that Jonathan gets for being poor because he’s hot, fashionable, athletic and new to town. His aesthetics and novelty protect him from a lot of ridicule. Which is the point of the Look to begin with.

A big important thing for me with Billy is his rage. He's never not going to be an angry person. He's been abandoned, abused, parentified, removed from whatever support structure he might have had in cali, forced into these roles and actions that don't do shit for him but make him more miserable, and treated like shit by everyone pretty much his whole life. Even when he mellows out and heals that anger isn't going anywhere. it's just like, changing fonts lol. It's like Eleven's rage at Brenner. She DOESN'T forgive him, but she DOES find a way to move on in her life PAST him and that anger and take that energy and put it to use in a way that's productive for her.

I also try and lean into his emotionality and his sensitivity but in specific ways. I decide the things that will trigger it — like certain actions or insults, certain behaviors, kinds of people, etc — and then map out which emotion it triggers and the response. Abusers and controlling guys set him off in an aggressive way, he needs to put them down. It’s defensive. People like Chrissy and Eleven who he can emotionally connect with bc of abuse he becomes protective of and like IMMEDIATELY. INSTANTANEOUSLY. Kindness will cause immediate defensiveness and then a reciprocated softness. It’s helpful to look into psychology and how real life people interact and respond to things and use that info not to craft Expository Monologues About His Mental State but to show via his train of thought and his actions what’s going on in him.

His outer life and inner life are rarely on the same page. Who he is in public can be vastly different than how he actually feels and what he’d actually want to do.

I tend to have Billy be a pretty “whatever fuck it” kinda guy. He has the things he cares about and then the rest just Is Not His Fucking Problem. His life is already a fucking bitch why would he make your bullshit his problem? Like minimal effort in the places it’s not required. But he’s also EXTREMELY observant, it’s a product of his abuse. He’s a good reader of people and he’s good at reading a room and adjusting as needed. So like even if he doesn’t give a shit about small town gossip, he knows a lot of it and he’s got Opinions on a lotta people from seeing how they act in the halls n shit.

It’s the kind of thing where he’d Know that something is wrong with Chrissy but not what and get the sense that Jason was kind of a shitty boyfriend in the “I’m dating the idea of you not you” variety. But he’s not immediately inclined to make this his problem. Generally shit has to hit certain criteria before he’s gonna add it to his plate. Like they hit a nerve, it goes on long enough that it pisses him off, he identifies a lil too much with someone, he’s Just That Bored, his interest has somehow been peaked or he’s been given an incentive. There’s a real calm before the storm vibe with him.

Billy is also genuinely magnetic. He’s so popular for a reason. Like Max doesn’t get nearly as much fawning over her for her Cali background but Billy is A Whole Fucking Package. He’s handsome, he’s fit, he’s funny and interesting. He knows when and how to turn on the charm but he’s also just kinda got Pretty Okay Vibes when he’s not you know being a massive fucking dick. He’s funny in a cock jokes and clap backs kinda way. He’s intense and opinionated and he’s up for anything if it’s interesting enough. Like you can totally get why Hawkins High collectively lost their minds and got massive hard ons for this dude. Behind all his awful dudebro bully shit he’s a genuinely cool fucking dude you’d KILL to hang out with. Billy being at a party MAKES the party.

Okay I’ve lost my whole fucking brain again and this is a pushing 4k words so I gotta cut my losses because I’ve already been insane about this for TOO FUCKING LONG. I apologize for my bullshit and it’s comical length. I hope that literally ANY of that was fucking useful jkdfghflsjghfsd

[quick-catton]

Hi quick-catton!! First of all I love your page and I love your personality💕💕💕 I also LOVE Saturn and Felix and Oliver just-😫😫😫 I love it every time you post, it makes my day!! Right now I just really need your help. Today I had to go on another account just to send something to my ask box because since I started my account last year, I’ve gotten nothing and it really hurts.

I love how open and freaky you are in your posts and I’m honestly the same way with Saltburn and an anime fandom that I’ve shaped my blog around. I used to be a little calm and collected but you’re inspiring to just let go and let my freak flag fly but the problem is, with my fandom, I don’t think people are going to be very inviting. Like literally the only thing I wanna do right now is babygirl code my favorite anime character sooo badly but I’m afraid I’ll lose all my followers and when I try to I get no engagement.

Like I wrote three freaking paragraphs about how good he’d look with a navel piercing! That was this morning and I got nothing all day but four likes. No reblogs, no comments, I literally had to make another account and send myself some praise for that post just so I could post it to show people that at least someone else agrees with me.

And I know I should give it time but that’s the problem. Some of my other posts like that don’t grow. They just get five likes and that’s it and it sucks because all I wanna do is engage with people that want to see this boy in lingerie or a skirt or goddamn pregnant (told you I was a freak)

I just don’t know what to do. How do you deal that? I’m honestly this close to deleting my account coz it seems like I’m posting to a blank wall and it’s so embarrassing coz everyone can see it. Sorry this is so long! Thank you for quickcatton 💕💕

WAH ANON ur so sweet omg, thank you?? <33 honestly i feel like i don't have good advice because i only made a tumblr for the first time EVER at the beginning of january!!! i am 23 and had never set foot on this app, but i saw that most of the saltburn fandom was here, so i gave it a shot and i've just been learning as i go.

i think that's half of my 'luck' with having a good experience on this app, is that because this fandom is so fresh, it's super active, but it's also a very small fandom (relative to some others) so we're all kinda like a hivemind here LOL, and because of the source material of the movie itself being weird/freaky/psychosexual, we all know that anything goes and the more freaky the brainrot, the better! i'm in other fandoms where if i said half of the shit i say here, i'd be ostracized, so it's really a case by case basis unfortunately </3

ik i yap a lot here but i also hold back sooo much because even tho ik we're all weirdos here, i still get nervous about putting out my writing or not having people vibe with an idea– you're not alone in that, i promise. it helps forming friendships in your fandoms so you know that there'll always be people who you can get hype over ideas with, but i know that's easier said than done sometimes <3

i don't have advice on engagement because i honestly don't look at that stuff (which i know is so annoying to say lol but it's true); i made this account purely to have a place to dump brainrot/art etc and view other people's saltburn content and i didn't care about engagement, i just got lucky to meet some cool people and make close friends through it.

i think if people can tell you're having fun through your posts, they'll vibe with you! it does take time with the good ol' algorithm, i'm sure, but as long as your page brings YOU joy, that's what matters most. people don't have to agree with your takes, life is too short to be vanilla and water urself down for others :^) making fandom friends and gaining interactions will come along with being yourself, but if posting here and running the account feels more stressful to you than it is fun, it's okay to step away too!

if you're on ao3 and sites like that, leaving comments on your fave works can be a great way to get conversations going as well. i met my closest friend on here bc she stumbled across my fic on ao3 and then sent me a message; it was purely up to chance, but branching out and being brave starting conversations with your fave accounts can be a great way to feel more included in the fandoms you're in and maybe you'll meet cool people along the way!! <33

[nevermindirah]

hey so in like 2014 when I was new here I read something in the about of somebody I thought was really cool. something along the lines of "if you want me to follow you back please have a tagging system". which is a fine thing to say! it's only, I (redacted lengthy explanation about my trauma)

anyway I'm trying out this new thing where I finally let myself chill out about tagging! this is an announcement probably nobody needs but here it is anyway :)

I'll now be using tags only for these reasons:

so I or y'all can find a post again later

so y'all can blacklist things

because a post is giving me thoughts/feelings which demand public expression

for the bit

in case any of y'all are relying on my tags, here are the things I plan on consistently tagging for now:

content warnings (you're very welcome to ask if there's something you need me to tag for! I'll continue to tag for the stuff I've already been doing, but there might be things I don't think of as content warnings that I’ll miss, just ask if that's a tag-needed thing for you)

fandoms (my tagging of characters and ships is about to get way less consistent but the overall fandoms will stay)

spoilers (for the first few days of a show / weeks of a movie)

public figures (it won't be super comprehensive, the goal is to chill about tagging. fyi my tag for Joss Whedon is joss whedon't. I will never, ever, ever forgive that man for his harms to real living human beings or for Age of Ultron)

"us policy things" for life advice type posts that only apply to US-Americans so that those of y'all who live outside of my extremely ourselves-centric country can blacklist it if you want

oh and by you I mean non-mutuals as well as mutuals! all y'all are great! anon is generally always open if you'd rather ask for tags that way, just don't be mean :)

many of my amusing-myself tags will continue with enthusiasm, such as my various TOG brotps and kitty, puuuuuuuuuuuuppyyyyyyyyyyy, and the pan-animal friend-shaped! bc look at their sweet faces!!

why did I feel the need to post this before allowing myself to post something without any tags at all? (redacted further unnecessary explanations about my trauma) :)

PS: please continue to tag your Matthias Schoenaerts content. I'm extremely relieved that I've successfully separated the actor who did an icky, very-triggering-to-me thing last year from my beloved babygirl Booker, so no need to tag Booker posting on my account. but separating the actor from other characters is hit-or-miss and I continue to need to avoid content about the actor himself. maybe by the time TOG2 gets a press tour he'll have publicly said that he believes Amber Heard and separated himself from his serial abuser pal?? SIGH

[studdbreyouknowme]

Yeah motherfuckers think they can just hurt you and get away with now normally I would fuck they world up but I realized some people ain’t worth it they not worth the stress,the time,or energy or your space or your peace I didn’t realize my worth at first I got so lost in keep repeating the same cycle getting with bitches that don’t love they self and have trauma people need to deal with they trauma before being in a relationship with someone cuz the same thing that she did to me someone is going to do the same thing she did to her I’m tired of not being good enough all I ever wanted was a family of my own and someone to love me I’m not perfect I have flaws a real women that love you look pass your imperfections pass your mistakes communicate is one of the most important thing to me in a relationship I don’t want a house wife I want a women that I can get to the money with and go somewhere in life thrive together I keep attracting broken women who been through tough shit stop using wat you went through as an excuse for treating someone like shit it’s not about you it’s about the both of us when two people that have been through shit but I talked about it I lived through my hell I’m healed I made peace with it cause at the end of the day I respect my peace do I have boundaries yes I do don’t tell me you love me and you don’t mean it don’t promise me anything if you can’t keep that promise don’t form no type of relationship with my child if you just gone cut him out of your life know your worth people all I’m trying to do is make it when she broke up with me I was hurt and heartbroken and I lost myself then I realized it was my fault because I allowed her play with my emotions and feelings I let her get to me i dont wish bad on anybody but at the end of the day imma get the last laugh it’s just a matter of time this is my resolution stop giving people yall energy who don’t deserve it cuz everytime you do that it’s gonna be a constant pattern every relationship gonna be the same way not saying people can’t change but this generation everything will go to shit heal yourself,love yourself,care about yourself before you think about being with someone I took my own advice so even though I got a hurt I took it and I learned from it I don’t want to get hurt anymore I’m tired of it I’m at my breaking point I don’t have to deal with it that’s the thing it’s all about maturity I’m 30 years old I had to grow up early when I was young I didn’t have the love and affection from my family I was in foster care with men who touch on little kids I was sexually assaulted by family members multiple times I will never forget but I forgive them my parents my dad was on crack and he forced my mother into it and had her working the streets I watched my dad abuse my mom right in front of me and my sister I watched him drag my mom out of the bed me and my sister was sleeping in. I watched him throw spray cans at her my dad collected cans and one night he couldn’t get money from the cans cuz we was late and they was closed so we went to a pizza place found a pizza they threw out cuz one half was burnt me and my sister had to eat pizza from the trash and I looked at my mom seen the tears in her eyes I loved my mom she wasn’t perfect but she tried when I came out at 13 as a lesbian to my mom she said “I already knew and I love you regardless you will always be my babygirl “it’s hard for me to open up and tell people the shit I went through because I’ve been in situations where they use that shit against you they throw up in your face and that is my main boundary if we talked about something that happened and we moved passed it then when you mad you bring it up that shows you don’t respect me you never did I’m to grown for the childish shit my heart is no longer open for love I rather be alone then letting these bitches keep me from my blessings if you can’t see that I’m trying to better myself just because you got your shit together doesn’t give you the right to talk down on another person stop listening to people other than yourself