#my babygirl who has never done anything wrong (she has done many things wrong)

[washmchineheart]

nesta was really calling a 500 year old fae warrior an overgrow bat and telling everyone she is a witch. Im afraid she’s the funniest character ever

[tetitous]

OK I think I'm good to give my thoughts about the last 2 episodes now (warning, it's long)

I'm so fucking wilded out by the whole wakfu extraction scene. It was absolutely painful.

I have to applaud the transition between Yugo's old and new VA, it was super clean. I really like his voice, it's so soft and yet you feel it has some power in reserve, though for Valentin Vincent (yes, if you're an ff7 fan you see it, I see it too) to win over Fanny Bloc in my heart he'd need to give me a godlike performance, for now I need to grow used to the change.

I believe I said somewhere some time ago that Eliatrope landing on the WoT could have some drastic repercussions, seems like I was wrong then, I'm okay with that.

Poor Nora, I just- she's only ever done her best, she mourned for a brother who used her like a puppet, how fucking cruel is it that now her powers is what's putting the world in danger and there's nothing she can do about it. Efrim being so devoured by his hunger that he feels hatred for Eliatrope and doesn’t care about even his own twin sister is so sad. He calls Eliatrope an egoist, as if anyone was owed her life force, and he sees nothing but sustenance. I do remember someone saying that you become someone else when you discover what true hunger feels like, it's what him being folded in two over his own stomach reminded me of. I hope there is some way out for them, but I'm not sure that I can be hopeful.

Talking about that, Toross Mordal. He can't forget himself to his own anger, like the others, but his mind still can't prioritize anything else. It's interesting to me that to him Yugo was just a means of sustenance, and yet he showed him more sympathy seemingly than he did to Nora, the central piece to his plan. Does Yugo remind him of someone else? Himself? I also think a lot about the way he's on loop about how Eliatrope "could have kept on feeding his people for centuries", he says it so often, and I wonder if it's meant to parallel Eliatrope's "we're doomed" attitude. They're both on loop about their own situations.

The whole dichotomy between "monster" and "pure" seems to reach some conclusion, that probably being that these two concepts don't really mean anything but "who we feel like we're allowed to demonize or not".

It's very strong with Qilby, who's been labeled as both by people. He's been a blast those last 2 episodes, I wouldn't call it a redemption arc, but an acceptance of his complexity. Yugo was right in s2, Qilby cannot deal with loneliness, and moreso by the void. The one thing he really wants is for things to exist so that he can discover them, to compensate for his lack of connexion. Beyond that he understands that no one can truly get him, and that's okay, he seems to have done some self-reflection if he actually came to that conclusion without much anguish. He's reuniting with the one person who can get it, hopefully at some point some form of compromise can be done so that the White Dimension never becomes a necessity again.

Turns out Lokus WAS a Mechasm after all, interesting to have rebooted the species a little. You can be "worthy" of them, the conditions of this being kind of unclear. Given the parallels between the Eliacube and the Eliasphere, it seems, strangely enough, that both Yugo and Qilby have been deemed worthy. I'm kind of fascinated, I want to understand how they work a bit more, but I don't think we'll be given much answers.

I have so many thoughts about Yugo it's unreal. First I want to comb his hair, he's pretty but haircare isn't on point, tbf that's part of the charm I think. Because I really, really want to be the one to comb his hair. Yeah he's already going up there on the babygirl list. That's powerful.

The fact that Yugo has a mind protection mechanism thanks to the Eliotropes is beautiful to me. They, or at least Oropo, did want someone, anyone, to aknowledge them, and Yugo going from refusing to accept them to giving them a full Persona-style recognition was nice. I want to know more about them, specifically I want to see which aspects of them are their own, and which they originally got from Yugo, because I see them both as some extensions of Yugo and as their own people. To me, the moment you are separated from your "original being", you start to be "you", so something different. Oropo only being one of many actually helps me to appreciate him more. Still an asshole though. Yeah I do believe they're real, otherwise Yugo couldn't have come up with Bouillon, y'know? Let me just have some Yugo chilling with his not-quite-clones from time to time, let me figure out their individual deal.

Amalia is going to pop off, love that for her, curious about what her and Yugo's reunion is going to be like.

We heard nothing from the Percedals, well for now their big arc has been handled I guess, but they'll probably come back for the finale, their friends will need all the help they can get, after all. Actually so much of Eva's personality can be understood through the prism her abandonment issues, but her it doesn't feel like we have reached the point where her arc can be considered close, but her deciding to trust Flopin, trust the people around her, to give them love, really reminds us how far she's come from the person who refused to adress Amalia by anything other than "princess".

Also not much of Ruel, he's probably going to be torn between his two treasures: his money and his friends needing him, and Ruel is generous in the ways that matter. At least that's my expectations. Kinda wish we had more comic relief moments, but let's be real, it wouldn't have been appropriate atm.

I'm surprisingly normal about the fact eliatropes seem to be able to make their own clothes.

Did I say everything I wanted to say? Ah no, wait

The scene where Ad is being all self-depreciating and Qilby's coming back like "Hey, missed me?" Was hilarious, I actually laughed out loud and I really needed it.

Bro Qilby calling Amalia superficial. On the one hand she does rely a bit too much on appearances, on the other Qilby can talk, he doesn't know her and makes some pretty mean assumptions. Wrong ones at that, because Amalia knows Yugo and loves him beyond appearances, and so does Yugo. The irony of it all isn't lost on me.

Armand had such a wisdom glow up, good for him.

Other thoughts may come up, but that's what I have right now. Can't wait till next week I'm too excited

[butmakeitgayblog]

Can I just say I love how like, into revisiting and analysing this dumb show’s scenes you still are — with the rise in popularity of streaming (I’m sure this has something to do with it, anyway) it’s become more and more commonplace for people to consume a piece of media, enjoy it, get bored of it after a while and never touch it again after moving on to the next new thing. It’s so wholesome and refreshing to see people still be so passionate and always find something new to talk about a show that, for all many of us care, ended 8 years ago. I do move in and out of being obsessed and disinterested with the media I’ve enjoyed, but in a world where I’m constantly seeing people say “oh you’re a fan of [X]? But that’s old :/“ (mostly about something that finished like last year lol) your blog is a breath of fresh air :)

Well thank you 🥹

The thing is, I get it. I get why and how people move on to different fandoms so quickly, and I don't really think poorly of that or anything. It's been almost a decade and it's easy to fall out of love with something after so long. Hell, when you think about it, this fandom has outlived the lifespan of a lot of entire relationships people have had 🥴. People find new things to get excited over and the *gasp* feeling of finding this new /thing/ is always fun. So I do get it.

But for me, it's just not that way. It's not that simple. Not because I think I'm somehow special (maybe a lil deranged 😬), but rather that's just how I operate. Before Clexa the only other ship I ever really cared about was Willara from Buffy which I watched when I was a goddamn teenager lol (RIP to my fellow gays always falling for girls who get shot ✊😔). I just don't get attached much to characters and ships. Usually ai like them in passing, enjoy watching them, and then that's... it. Tibette from the L Word. Wayhaught. Brittana. I like them and I follow them, but there's no real desire to delve deeper beneath the surface.

And then something like Clexa comes around and just absolutely fucks me up. It hits me and connects with me in a way that I just can't shake. Watching the show isn't enough. Thinking about it isn't enough. I have to discuss it and dissect it and fill in the gaps that we didn't see, and read and (now) create more stories for them just to understand everything about them to a deeper degree.

So few characters really elicit that kind of connection, but Clexa do. Even for a lot of the people who have moved on, at one time they felt that connection. Clexa was a fuckin madhouse for years and I think the fact that even still to this day people keep discovering and rediscovering them and falling in love with them all over again speaks volumes about just how wonderful that relationship and those characters actually were.

Especially Lexa.

Now, I love Clarke. I make it known that thiiiisss is a Clarke Griffin apologist's blog. That feral little kitten has never done anything wrong in her life. Ever. Including all of the terrible things she's done, as well as the many, many things that were flat out wrong. She is still innocent. She is only a baby. A murderous, tormented, compassionate, complex babygirl. So never get it twisted that I'm saying Clarke is somehow lesser than, but when push comes to shove when we're talking about baseline complexity, there is no character like Lexa. There's just not.

This woman was definition of doomed by the narrative. A child stolen away to be used as a glorified sacrificial lamb for her people. A toddler wielding a sword made of wood taller than her own tiny body, trained to accept her own life as expendable for the greatest good of her people before even learning her ABCs. She took the throne at 12 bby slaughtering her only companions and made her death mask out of kohl and fallen tears. Every person she ever loved as a mother, father, brother, either died for her, or by her own hand. The only two people she ever dared to be weak for were torn from her in the name of politics and the weight of her own bloodied crown. Under all the regalia she was just Lexa. Heda, always surrounded by her people and yet eternally just a lonely soul. Born here on Earth, raised to eventually die for others, left to rule over the people on the ground as best she knew how.

And yet through the pain, she was strong. So fucking strong it emboldened the warriors around her. She was brave, and lethal, and unyielding in her pursuit of peace. Meeting every push against her forward march to change head on, never flinching in her own brutality along the way. She knew that she was born for this; believed the black of her blood to be every bit as much of a blessing as it was a curse. Even when people doubted her and did their best to end her reign, Lexa always came out swinging.

She loved hard and kicked ass even harder, is what I'm saying. And the fact that they took a character like that and ended her so fucking carelessly? I just... I'm gonna be pissed off about that for a very long time. And until I'm no longer pissed off about that, I'll be here running mouth about it 🥴 probably still trying to make it better by writing her and the love of her life in as many stories as I can, so they can finally get the happy ending that was robbed of them in canon 🫡

[rosemirmir]

your current ones for the blorbo/babygirl: ankh and asakura

Oh this is a good one! 👀

This got a bit long, I love to gush about my blorbos/babygirls at any given chance! So I'm putting my reasonings under a cut:

For Ankh: He is definitely in majority of the kind of unethical, kind of a bastard camp. Ankh is very selfish and self serving. Focusing on his desires above all else and often not really caring what other people want.

Having done many things, and willing to do anything to get his core medals. He is not afraid to betray, and take what he feels is so rightfully his– Regardless of the method and the ethics behind it. Or more accurately, the lack thereof.

Ankh has: Thrown Eiji off a building, attempted murder, stated his (at one point) very real intent to kill Eiji once he feels he's gotten his way, the entire betrayal in the third act. Unethcial actions are not foreign to Ankh, far from it.

However Ankh is capable of not being a entire bastard and doing good. Such as risking himself and throwing himself in front of Eiji going berserk to prevent him from killing Kitamura as one prime example. Because Ankh knows if Eiji did actually kill him he'd be distraught. Earlier on in the show Ankh would have never done something like this, let alone entertain the concept.

So it's why I don't put him entirely in that square.

And his arc where he gradually becomes more human, a bit less selfish, and realizing he actually does care about those he's come to met in his life (even though it's now too late and he's going to die) is just one of the reasons he is still my favorite Kamen Rider character full stop. The Birblo (Bird Blorbo) of all time.

Now for Asakura: This man is irredeemable, and I love him dearly. He loves to kill and commit senseless violence on a whim. He doesn't even have much of a wish for the rider war, except to make the battle go on forever so he can continue to enjoy the thrill of the kill and the battle that the rider war gives him.

The thing about Asakura that makes me so obsessed about him is not so much that he is a unapologetically a villain, with no deep reason for why he does what he does. (Though don't get me wrong here, I enjoy unapologetic bastard as much as the next guy!)

It's the fact he knows he has no tragic backstory. That nothing that happened to him during his life that made him how he is. There is no "good reason", or even any reason Asakura is how he is and does what he does. More than once it's brought up that "there must be a reason for this".

Reiko asking him about why he has such hatred. She just cannot believe there is just this guy who is murdering people just because he's pissed off. There has to be a reason! And Asakura just saying how everyone wants to give a reason to things to make themselves feel better.

And then going on to talk about eating dirt.

Or after Asakura kills his brother, Shinji goes "a person like you can't exist" and he just says "and yet I do." and then just moving on without a care and asking if Shinji wants to go at it and fight.

Or even in the brave let's survive special, which while just a special I feel it showcases the nature of his character very well. Where one of Hiiro's nurses asks why he's attacking her, and he just says "Would giving you a reason make you feel better?"

There isn't a reason why he does what he does. Why he loves to fight, to hit, to kill. Asakura just is like this. And he revels in that. Using it as a salt to rub into the wounds of others. Multiple times too.

So off into the deeply unethical square he goes!!

[supercorpkid]

Get the door, it’s depression.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader, Alex Danvers x Niece!Reader.

Word Count: 2850.

Warning: Yep, it’s depression. May cause some triggers, please do not read this if it could cause you any discomfort or pain.

You hear the knock on your door. Kara’s wake up call. You open your eyes, only for them to be filled with tears immediately. You can’t. Can’t get up from bed, can’t go to school, can’t face the world right now.

The knock comes with a weird tug in the stomach. You feel like throwing up. Your heart is racing, your palms are sweating, yet your mouth is completely dry.

Not another panic attack, not another panic attack.

You shut your eyes hard and pray to Rao they forget about your existence. You pray Lena doesn’t open your bedroom’s door with the same old wake up call. You can practically hear her saying, ‘come on, baby. School. Let’s go.’ The sentence makes your stomach twist and turn inside you.

“Babygirl.” You hear Lena’s voice and oh no, here it comes. You turn to the side of your bed. There’s no time to move her out of the way and run to the bathroom, so you vomit right there. “Baby!”

Lena rushes to your side, holding your hair out of the way, while you keep throwing up something that cannot be described as food. You haven’t eaten in more than 18 hours. This yellow thing coming out of you, is not food.

“KARA! Help, please!” Lena yells, stroking your back lightly, trying to calm you down.

“What’s wrong? What’s-?” Kara's face appears in the bedroom. By the time she walks in, you’re basically done leaving everything you had on your stomach on the floor. “Oh no.” She swopes you in, in bridal style, getting you out of your vomited bedroom and into theirs. “You’re ok. Mommy is here. It’s ok, little one.” She says while laying you down in their bed.

“What are you feeling, babygirl?” Lena asks and you think about it. What are you feeling?

You’re feeling sick, but you’re not sick. You’re feeling tired, but you can’t get physically tired so it’s obviously not it. There’s nothing left in your stomach still the tug is right there.There are no words to explain what you’re feeling. There’s no illness you can blame it on.

What if they tell you to go to school? What if they tell you that you must get out of bed? You can’t get up. Your body is not responding to movement.

“Just-” You think about it. Just what? What is this? Why can’t you find the words to describe it? “Sick.” You can’t believe you’re doing this, but you fake cough. Like Kara usually fakes cough. And it’s so obvious, it’s so ridiculously over the top, that you’re sure they’re going to yell at you about it.

They don’t yell. Instead, they share a look. They have one of their telepathic conversations that you are usually not a part of. But this time you can tell what they’re thinking. They know you’re lying. Maybe the fake cough was a little too much. But they also know you don’t lie. Well, almost never, anyways. And you did throw up, and you also skipped meals, and Lena is looking at you like that. So, she knows something is up, she just doesn’t know exactly what.

“Ok.” Lena lets it out, like a sigh. “So you’re sick.” She goes to the bed, sitting next to you and investigating you further. “That means you won’t go to school.”

“Thanks.” You’re immediately relieved about it. Maybe it shows because they look at each other again, no more puzzlement in their faces.

“Do you want to stay in bed today?” Kara asks, and you agree with your head weakly. Not because you’re faking being sick. What you wanted, right now, was to vividly agree with your head because staying in bed is all you want. But weak is all you can do, for some reason. “Do you want mommy to stay with you?”

“Ummm.” No. You don’t want Kara around. You can’t even fathom the thought of her trying to cheer you up or shoving food at your face like all of this can be solved with food. “It’s ok, you should go to work. Is nothing serious.”

“Ok.” She looks disappointed at your answer. “How about if Lena stays?”

No. You also don’t want Lena around. Just the thought of having Lena pressing you to tell her what’s wrong, or that she can look at your face and see all that you’re hiding, sends shivers down your spine.

“Guys, it’s ok. It’s just some stupid cold or something like that.” You can’t get a cold, moron. How is this a cold?

“I’ll bring something for you to eat.” Kara makes her way downstairs and you look at Lena, still looking too knowing next to you.

“I’m ok. I just need to sleep a little more.” You pat her leg to comfort her. Feels weird comforting her when you know you’re the one who needs it so bad. “Go to work, mom. There’s a lot to do before L Corp launches the new device.”

Lena’s hand goes to your cheek. Usually, you would try giving her a little smile, but there’s nothing inside you that would be able to fake a believable smile right now, and you don’t have to give her more reasons to worry.

“Go.” You pat her leg again.

She gives you the longest forehead kiss you’ve ever gotten in your life. “I love you.”

“I’m not dying, you know.” You complain a little, but Lena doesn’t move. Green eyes pleading you to say the same. “I love you too.”

“Rest, baby.” Another forehead kiss. “I’ll ask Kara to check in on you later.”

“Thanks mom.”

When Lena leaves the bedroom, you let out a relieved sigh. It’s ok. They don’t know. You don’t have to explain yourself; you don’t need to find words, you don’t even know, to describe how you’re feeling. You can try and find as many words as you would like but there’s only one that will do. You’re feeling empty.

There is this crushing feeling of worthlessness and hopelessness. There is a war inside your mind, and at the same time you feel like you’re underwater. And you don’t even know how this is possible. You keep hearing ‘you should die’, you keep thinking you hate the Luthor name, you keep wondering why you had to be born with super powers. But at the same time that’s all hard to understand, because your mind feels drowned in muffled noises. You are exhausted.

You hear when Kara walks back into the room with food. You pretend you’re asleep. She knows you’re faking. You know she knows. Yet, you don’t open your eyes, nor does she call you on your lie.

You feel Kara’s big warm hand stroking your arm. You hear a worried sigh. You hear her saying she loves you. And you fall asleep.

When you wake up, it’s because you hear Kara again. You don’t know how long it has been since she left, but you hear her on the phone, and still, you don’t open your eyes.

“Still asleep, love.” She says, right outside the bedroom door. If you wanted, you could use your super hearing and listen to what Lena is saying too, but it’s too much effort and you’re exhausted. “No, she hasn't eaten anything yet. I know, Lena! I’m worried too! Ok, fine. I’ll wake her up. Call you later.”

You bite the inside of your mouth, hold your breath, and wait for it. But Kara doesn’t come in, instead you hear a whoosh of air, and she flies out. You breathe out again. Great, you can go back to sleep.

“Little one. Hey.” You feel Kara’s hand on your hair. “Wake up baby, I brought you donuts.”

“No, thanks. I just want to sleep some more.” You shuffle in bed, turning to the other side and ignoring Kara’s loud sighs.

“You’ve been sleeping for eight hours straight. You’ve skipped dinner last night, breakfast and lunch today. I’m sorry, my heart, but you have to wake up and eat something.” She tries again, even more soft than she was talking before.

“I don’t want to.”

“Please baby, just eat a little bit. There’s donuts, pizza, and your mom sent your favorite pasta from that place you like so much.” Kara’s hand is stroking your back, and it feels nice. But her voice is annoying you. And you’re oh, so, so tired. Her hands move to your face, and she strokes your cheek. “There’s so much stuff you like, sweet girl.”

“Please leave.”

“Little one…”

“Momma, just leave.”

She does, you reckon. You can’t really tell. Your mind is foggy, and you think you’re asleep again. Or maybe you’re awake. Maybe this is a dream. Maybe it’s reality. Maybe-

“Hey kiddo. Can you hear me?” You can. You wish the world would just stop talking to you, though. You wish your phone would stop ringing. You wish there wasn’t a hot yellow sun lamp on top of your body right now. There’s really no reason for it. “It’s aunt Alex. Can you tell me what you’re feeling?”

“I’m tired. Let me sleep.”

“Your body functions are normal. Heartbeat, oxygen, temperature. The yellow sun light is on. You’re not supposed to be tired.” She says again, touching the pulse point on your neck.

“Leave, please.” You beg, weakly. There’s no strength, there is no will power inside you.

You pray the world would just stop. The world doesn’t.

“Listen-” The mattress dips next to you when she sits. Alex easily turns your face to her. “Open your eyes and look at me. Please.”

“Why won’t you leave?” You whine, incapable of doing what she’s asking.

“Because I’m worried, your moms are worried, your cousin is worried, and we need to figure this out.” You feel her hands cupping your face, her two thumbs getting under your eyes and pulling the skin down. Your eyes unwittingly open. “Keep them open, please.” Reluctantly, you do. “Follow my finger.” She starts moving her finger in front of your face from one side to the other. “Good. Besides feeling tired, what else do you feel?”

“Annoyed at your presence.” It’s out of your mouth before you can think about it. It’s not a lie, but also not something you would just come out and say it like that. But you have no strength to take it back.

She sighs, loudly. “Just tell me what happened, kiddo. I’m sure I can help you.”

“You can’t.” Your jaw hardens at its own accord. The thought of ‘what happened’ keeps pulling the string around your neck tighter and tighter. The pit on your stomach feels infinite. “No one can, so just leave me the fuck alone.”

“Would you be willing to talk to anyone about this?” Alex doesn’t leave. You wish you were angry about it. You wish you could just tell her to go to hell. But tears find their way into your eyes and down your cheeks without your control. You hate not feeling in control of your own body. She cleans the tears with her thumb, softly. “If you don’t want to talk to me. Maybe to one of your moms?”

“No. Please, no.”

“Jamie?” You think about it. You think about anyone you would like to talk to right now. Not a single name comes to mind.

“Can I just sleep and talk to someone tomorrow?” You beg again. All that you’ve been doing is begging and whining and praying, still not a single soul responds to it. “Please, I’m-I’m exhausted. I can’t do any more talking today.”

“Ok.” Alex agrees. “You can talk tomorrow, but you have to eat today and that is non-negotiable.”

“Ok. I’ll eat.” But you close your eyes again, and before you know it, you’re drifting back to sleep.

It’s night, it’s day. Maybe night again.

Time passes, but it doesn’t.

You twist and turn, and sleep, and sleep-

Kara doesn’t let go of you. Lena sighs and whispers. They worry, but there’s nothing you can do about it. You have no strength to do anything about it.

They sigh, you feel bad. Then worse. Then you don’t feel anything at all.

They cry, you feel shitty. Instead of making them stop crying, you cry too. Then it’s like you’ve never even knew tears in your life.

It’s a full circle.

And then maybe it’s day again.

“Please, little one, wake up.” You blink your eyes at the request. Kara is holding food, and Lena is holding water in front of your face. “It’s been two days, you have to eat or Alex will use the red sun lamp to do an IV rehydration, and it’s going to be so much worse.”

“Mommy.” You whine, closing your eyes again.

“I’m sorry, baby. But you need food.” She sets the food on the side of the bed and sits you up. “Come on, you eat a little and we’ll let you go back to sleep, how about that?”

“How about I just sleep?”

“Hey. No, no.” She holds you up, before you try to lay down again. You hear Kara whispering in your ear. “Remember that you are my heart, and I need my heart to be strong. So please.”

You whine one more time, like a hurt puppy, but you still eat. Anything they put in your mouth, really, you don’t even care what it is. You eat and drink, then sleep and sleep-

“Babygirl. Hey, mom is here with you, ok?” You feel Lena’s hand on your hair, scraping your scalp so softly; you want nothing but that for the rest of your life.

“Don’t stop.” You wail. You must be begging again. It’s all you do.

“Playing with your hair?” She asks and you hum in agreement. “Ok, I won’t. Can I hold you?”

“Yes. But no talking.”

Lena gets comfortable next to you. One arm is around your ribcage, the other one on your hair, scrapping, playing, stroking it.

Your heart is empty, your stomach is empty, now your mind feels the same. It’s almost nice to feel nothing at all.

“Your phone doesn’t stop buzzing.” Lena says a while later and again your words leave your mouth before you can even process them.

“Ignore it. It’s them.”

“Who’s them?”

“The bullies.” Lena’s hand stops moving on your hair, her body stiffens close to yours. But your mind is foggy. The string around your neck tightens harder. Your stomach is an endless void. “Don’t stop, please.”

Jamie comes, she leaves unnoticed.

Maya comes, she leaves unanswered.

You haven’t left your moms’ bed in so long. It’s day, it’s night. Is it day again?

Your therapist comes.

She is in a depressive episode, he says.

Your moms yell, our baby is depressed?

No. She is having a depressive episode. Those are different things, he answers.

You want to scoff. There’s no strength.

You’re not depressed, you’re tired. The world is an infinite pit of misery. He wouldn’t say that you’re depressed if he knew what you’ve been through. Oh, wait. He does.

You’re an infinite pit of despair. You wish people would just go on with their lives, everyone but you. You wish your life would just stopped until you’re not tired anymore and can deal with things.

Every time you’re awake, you hear a voice in your ear saying, ‘You should die. Your family will be better off without you’. And you’re so beaten down, you believe it. So you close your eyes, and sleep and sleep-

“Here, my love.” Lena holds a little pill in front of your face, with a bottle of water.

“What’s that?”

“This will help. I promise.” She asks, or is she begging? You don’t take it. “Please baby, you have to take it.”

“Here, little one.” Kara has to physically open your mouth and put the pill on your tongue. Water washes over it soon after. “You’re going to be fine, my heart. We promise.”

“What was that?” You try again. Their answers weren’t satisfactory.

They look at each other. Must be telepathic talking. You lay your head down on your pillow again. You’re exhausted. So, so fucking tired.

Why the fuck is the world still spinning? Why is the world still standing?

It’s night, it’s day. Is it night again?

“Are you reading this?” You hear far away. Like a dream. Like you might be imagining, projecting, or even hallucinating.

“I-I can’t read any more of that, Lena. Look at the things they are telling her.”

“All because of my stupid last name.”

“For how long? How long did we let this happen for? We should’ve-We-My God, Lena! How did we not notice this before?”

“Too long. But that’s enough. That’s it, Kara. I mean it.”

Is this really happening? Are you dreaming? You feel so disconnected from reality. But it matters not, if it’s real or hallucination. The pull tights around your neck, heart and stomach. There is no hope, no help. Anything they do, will make things worse. But your mind is foggy. By now, you’re just a shell of a person. So instead of screaming for them to stop, you sleep and sleep and sleep-

Notes:

@lilyduranhanna prompted me this and as painful as it was to write, I hope is still enjoyable somehow?

[krytus]

is it cheating to ask for the karatecule? uh Amanda & Carmen

fuck yeahhhh i'll do the karatecule :) minus chozen bc i already did him

carmen :)

i love carmen so much and i wish the fandom appreciated her more 😩 while she's not thee most developed character on the show theres such a unique experience she portrays that makes me :) to think abt. like being an immigrant woman trying to raise a family and having no men to rely on. the fantasy of finding a stupid sexy man who would do anything for your family. ugh its so special to me no one understands.

amanda

amanda is such a fun character too 🥰 she's so polarizing but tbh she's not like. that complicated in her decisions? she didnt know she married an 80s movie protagonist 😩 once she Gets it though its clear how much she loves daniel, but she also doesn't want to stop being an Adult abt the situations they get dragged into, you know? ugh. love her so much.

daniel

ugh he is SO special to me i can't even put into words. which is funny because i was a #johnnygirl for most of the series then one day a switch flipped in my brain and i realized i would do anything for mister larusso <3 he is my sweet little babygirl and seeing his journey for the last five seasons has been soo fun <3

johnny

HA first bingo. although i say he's never done anything wrong knowing he has done so many things wrong <3 but thats part of his charm, man who is so very very flawed picking up the pieces one by one :) im so normal abt him i gave him my gender. my special little guy who's an attack dog and a budding feminist <3

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Stay With Me (Pt. 04 of 09)

Pairing: Daryl Dixon X Reader

Word count: 3 K

Summary: Daryl found you surrounded by the dead, stuck in the backseat of a car. You were wishing for death to take you away for quite a while now, but, as you slid back and forth into consciousness, there was only one thing keeping you alive. Him, the man with blue, worried eyes and kind voice. Your beaten up body was ready to give up, too wounded and broken to keep going. But this man, who went out of his way to save your life is the only thing in the world holding you up. And, because of him, you feel something you haven't felt in a very long time: hope. Wherever he's taking you, you want to get there, and not only to be buried. For what it feels like the very first time, you want to live. He takes you back to Alexandria, but even there, the nightmares and the terror from all the torture and pain you've been through keeps creeping closer, and Daryl, your hero, is the only one who can keep that all away.

Warnings: Mentions and description (not graphic) of past abuse; post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD); some violence at the end of the story (a little bit graphic, but not so much); blood.

<- Previous part (03)

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{The Walking Dead Masterlist}

I want to thank my awesome friend @jodiereedus22 , who helped me (and still does) a lot to get this story done. She's also a writer and she's amazing so please go check her work!!

×

Running Away

Twenty-one days. That's how long you've been in Alexandria. The days have fallen into a routine, slow, and filled with care. Daryl has been sleeping with you, and in the mornings you have your breakfast on the porch when it's sunny. Then, Carol helps you take a bath, changes the dressings of your wounds, and you're back in bed. You're speaking more with Carol, what makes her happy, you think. The wounds are still a problem. It still hurts a lot, but not as bad as before. And you're starting to get tired of staying in bed all day.

So today, after having your dressings changed and when Carol leaves, you stand up, eyes tightly closed to hold back the pain. Using the nightstand to support some of your weight, you move to the wall, using it to help you limp towards the door.

“Huh?” You hear a mumble.

“You're... Clean?” Carol asks, and you wonder what that's about. “You're clean.”

“I showered. What's the big deal?”

“Yes, you did... You showered yesterday too. And the day before...” As you reach the door frame, you try to understand what's this odd conversation between the two of them. “Actually, you've been showering daily for quite a while now. I wonder why–” She stops talking when you step outside, her eyes finding you.

Immediately, Daryl turns around, making his way over you. His eyes run through your body and you don't quite understand why he's cheeks are getting red. “What are ya doin’ up?” The moment he's close enough, you let go of the wall and hold on to him instead.

But Daryl acts weird, as if he didn't want to touch you. It makes you feel akward since you grew used to his touch. “What?” You ask, pulling away just enough to look down at your body, trying to see if there's anything in you that might have caused this reaction.

“Where are the rest of yer clothes?” He asks, trying to push you back into the room.

“This is what I usually wear.” Shrugging your shoulders, you take in the tank top and one of the lycra shorts Carol got you. It reaches about two inches above your wound, which means it barely covers your thighs. It never bothered you. Well, only when it's cold. “What's wrong with it?”

“Nothin’, nothin’.” He gives Carol an odd look before holding you again, his hands barely touching your sides. “Let's get ya back to bed.”

“No. I wanna go downstairs. I'm tired of being in the room.” You beg him, trying to resist as he pushes you back. “Please?”

“Put on somethin’ to cover up yer... Yer body. In case someone comes in.”

“I'll grab the blanket.” When you're about to move to get it, Daryl's moves first, taking the blanket and wrapping it around your shoulders, closing it on the front. He then picks you up, as he usually does to move you around, carrying you downstairs and carefully laying you down on the couch.

You quickly move into a sitting position as he settles down beside you. “Ya want anythin’?”

“I'm thirsty.” You don't want to keep asking people to get things. You want to go there and get them yourself.

“I'll get you some water,” Carol answers before Daryl can stand up.

She soon comes with your glass, and you drink half of it before handing over to Daryl, who puts it on the coffee table. Then, you move the blanket around, so it won't be a barrier as you lean on Daryl. But he flinches, seemingly uncomfortable. The way he moves away hurts you a little, and you sit up straight again, looking at him. “What is it, Daryl?” You ask, suddenly feeling odd, pulling the blanket so it'll cover your shoulders. “I just took a bath, I'm not dirty.” Your mind tries to find any other reason for Daryl to act like this.

“I know. Ya smell good, I jus’...” He moves a little, clearly nervous. “Yer using next to nothin’ and I don't wanna make ya feel uncomfortable.”

“I'm not feeling uncomfortable.” Furrowing your eyebrows, you try to understand what's the difference. You've been using this style of clothing since you got here. Denise told you not to wear anything that might squeeze the wound on your thigh, and Daryl has been sleeping on the same bed as you. Why is it different now? Then it clicks. He never really knew what was under the blankets you always have around you in bed. But you don't feel uncomfortable, not around Daryl. “I'm fine, truly.”

“Are ya?” He looks down at you after avoiding your gaze for a while. You wonder why he seems so embarrassed.

“Yeah.” Muttering, you give a quick glance at the kitchen, to make sure Carol isn't looking. Sometimes, she stands there, as if studying your interactions with Daryl, you're not sure why. You have the suspicion that she's actually studying his interaction with you. But she's not on your sight, probably at the sink or at the countertop making lunch. Turning your gaze at Daryl, you shrug your shoulders. “Can I?”

He breathes in deeply, and you see something snap in his eyes, like he's giving up trying to fight something. “C'mere, babygirl.”

You can't control the smile that comes to your lips as you lean on him again, carefully moving your legs up to the couch. “Daryl?”

“Huh?”

“Why do you call me babygirl?” You decide to ask, not because you don't like it, just because you really want to know.

He moves a little, restless again. There are a lot of things you still don't understand about Daryl, but you try to. “ ‘Cause yer young. And a girl.”

Doesn't make much sense, and it sounds like he just said the most obvious thing. “I'm not that young, Dixon.” It's weird how, all of a sudden, you don't want Daryl to see you as a kid. He does have to look after you, but it's just because your body is still broken... But you're getting better every day, and soon enough you'll be able to function like a normal person.

“Yer young compared to me.”

“You're not that old.”

“I am compared to ya.” He speaks fast as if he wants to shake this thought away.

Of the many things that have gone through your head since you spotted Daryl's blue eyes among the dead, age wasn't one of them. It's not like you haven't noticed the man is some, well, several years older than you, probably around two decades, but it was never important. You never thought this matter deserved attention. It doesn't change anything. “Uhm...” You mumble, an arm moving to hug his midsection.

“Shouldn't call ya that anyway.” He mutters, his chest vibrating under your head.

“I like it. I really do.” Daryl only calls you that when nobody else is around. When Carol or Denise are here, he always uses your name. And you like it. It's like a private thing, a secret.

Daryl only grunts in response, which makes you giggle. You both fall into a comfortable silence until Carol comes to the living room, sitting on the coffee and getting your attention.

“(Y/N), Maggie and Glenn got back from a run yesterday. They brought a wheelchair and I was thinking that maybe you could use it to take a tour around the neighborhood.” She says, glancing at Daryl and then at you. Walking it's still hard for your leg, and Denise still doesn't think you should try to. The stitches ripped twice after the first incident, and you're being extra careful now.

“I don't know.” The thought of going out there, where people will see you... You haven't stopped to think about it. Actually, you've been more comfortable with being inside the house.

“I'll be with ya. If ya feel like yer ready for it.” Daryl says, and it gives you just a little bit of courage.

“Do you think I should?”

“The group wants to meet you.” Carol answers. “They're curious about the girl Daryl cuddles with.” Her comment makes Daryl swift in his seat again, letting out a displeased grunt. “You will like them when you give it a chance. There's also Judith. That one will steal your heart in half a second.”

“Who's Judith?” You ask her.

“Rick's daughter,” Daryl says. “Lil’ Ass Kicker, three years of drivin’ Rick insane.”

“You have kids here?” You haven't seen kids since the world broke. Part of you thought it was better that way. Bringing a kid into the world as it is now is crazy. But here... Alexandria seems like a safe place. It seems like a good place to be if you want kids.

“A few, yes.” Carol states. “So? Can I have Maggie bring the wheelchair?”

Lifting your head a little, you give Daryl a glance. “It's yer call to make. Ya wanna go or not?”

“Only if I can meet Judith.”

“Alright then.” Carol stands up, clearly happy. “I'll get the chair and you put some clothes on because if you go out like that Daryl will certainly have a heart attack.”

“I would never go out like that.” You mutter, wondering what's the big deal with your clothes.

So you put on these loose sweatpants and a long-sleeved light blue shirt since the wind coming from your window is a bit cold. You're anxious when Daryl puts you in the chair, already outside. You can't help but look at the sides, suddenly aware of every human being here who's not Daryl.

“Ready?” He asks, and you almost say no. But you force yourself to nod, and he starts pushing the wheelchair.

You're shaking a little, hands clenched into fists. Maybe this was a bad idea, and everything you want is to get back to your bedroom, where nobody knows about your existence, where there's just you and Daryl and nothing else. People have been hurting you for too long, you don't think you can deal with them anymore.

“Ya ok down there?” Daryl's voice snaps you out, and you nod again. “Let's meet Maggie. She's the one who found ya this chair.” Daryl takes you near the walls that surround the city, tall and constantly under watch. He calls and the woman some feet away turns around. She's been talking to a small group of people, who also turn to look at you.

“Daryl.” She greets, leaving the others and walking over you. “And I believe this is (Y/N). I'm Maggie.” She reaches out her hand and you freeze, just looking at it. This is ridiculous. You shouldn't be out here. “Oh, it's alright.” Maggie retrieves her hand, giving you a small smile. “I've heard you've been through some tough times. I just hope you'll feel better now that you're here.”

Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you nod, trying to force some words out. “T-thanks for the chair.” You push out, hoping it'll be enough.

“No need to thank me. I just thought it would help you start getting to know the community.”

“Maggie!” Someone calls, and she turns on her heels to check it out.

“That one over there, in the blue T-shirt is Gleen, my husband.” She says. “Nice guy, judging by the fact I'm married to him.” She looks at you again. “Well, I gotta go. I hope this is not the last time I'll see you, (Y/N). Have a nice day.” With that, she waves and goes back to where she was as Daryl pushes you away, taking a different turn.

“She's nice.” You tell Daryl when you're far enough not to be heard.

“She is. You'll like her if ya give her the chance.”

You mutter in response, bouncing your leg a little. This place is amazing. Beautiful. It reminds you of simpler times when the dead used to remain that way. But the wall around you is a constant reminder of the dangers that must be kept outside.

Daryl introduces you to some people. You're happy you managed to say ‘hi’ and shake some hands, despite flinching away from their touch too quickly. He's very patient, pushing your around the town, using the least crowded streets. But half an hour later you're getting too restless, excited to go back home.

“I think I want to go back now.” You say when you see two people walking your way.

“What about Judith?”

“Oh...” You completely forgot about her. “Can we go now? Then back home.”

“Judith is Rick's daughter. Which means he'll probably be there.” Daryl warns you, changing direction. “Ya think ya can handle that?”

“Then we should just go back home.” You suddenly don't want to do it anymore. It's way too much for today.

“Listen.” Daryl stops, walking around the chair and crouching before you. “Ya trust me, don't ya?”

“I thought we reached this point where you don't have to ask me that because you know the answer.” Of course you trust Daryl. You'd put your life in his hands without thinking twice. You've already done that, actually.

“I know Rick reminds ya of one of those assholes, but he ain't like them. He's been with us for years. I trust him and so can ya.” One of his hands comes to touch your knee, and it makes you relax a little. “But I'll take ya back if that's what ya need. Not gonna push ya.”

Taking a deep breath, you nod, looking down. “Can't you... Can't you bring her to the house?” You're not ready, not yet. “I'd feel better there. Even if–Even if I have to meet this Rick.”

“Of course, baby–” Daryl clears his throat, shaking his head.

What's wrong with him today? “Babygirl.” You decide to finish it for him, reaching out your hand to touch his face. But Daryl stands up abruptly the moment your fingers connect with his cheek.

“Let's go.” He's soon moving you again, not saying anything else.

It takes five minutes or so until you're back home, feeling relieved to have these walls around you again. Daryl leaves you in the living room with Carol as he goes to get Judith. He takes a while, but you hear Judith before Daryl swings the door open.

“See that lady over there?” He says to the beautiful toddler in his arms. It's such a sight, seeing Daryl holding Judith. “She's dying to meet ya.” As he speaks, Judith's eyes find you and she smiles.

“Hi!” She mumbles, waving a tiny hand at you.

You didn't think you'd ever see a kid again. “Hi, Judith.” Daryl brings her to the couch, putting her down beside you. “How are you, little ass-kicker?”

“You goin to play with me?” She happily asks, reaching out her hand, which you hold, giving a little shake.

“Sure.” You can't help but smile. A smile that doesn't fades. This child is the exact opposite of everything you suffered. She's innocent, kind, and pure. “There's nothing here to play with.”

“Rick's bringin’ some–” He's cut off by a knock on the door. “That's him. ‘M gonna let him come in, is that alright?”

Holding your breath, you nod. As Daryl goes to open the door, you keep looking at Judith, the smile disappearing. “(Y/N),” Daryl calls as you see the two men moving to the living room. “This is Rick, Judith's father.”

“Hi, daddy,” Judith exclaims.

Slowly, you raise your eyes, sinking a little into the couch, as if it could put more distance between you and that man. “Hi.” You whisper, not sure if he can hear you, so you say it again. “H-hi. I'm (Y/N).”

“It's nice to meet you, (Y/N),” Rick says, exchanging a glance with Daryl. “I brought these blocks Judith likes.” He slowly steps forward, and you finally notice the box he's holding. He leaves it on the couch between you and his daughter before stepping back. “And I want to apologize for our first meeting. I didn't know... Well, I'm sorry.”

“It's ok.” The words are still getting caught in your throat. Rick does look like that man, but he isn't him. The beard is pretty much the same, but the eyes are different. More kind. But then again, some of them did seemed to be kind in the beginning. It didn't last long though.

Judith opens the box and starts taking all the colorful blocks out, throwing the empty box on the floor.

It's a weird feeling to do this. Playing with a kid, building houses and castles, imagining people living in them. The rest of the world goes away for a while, and you're surprised by the smiles that keep finding their way to your lips. Every time Judith says or does something, you can't help but be mesmerized. It makes you think that maybe, just maybe, sometime from now, you could have a kid of your own. You always wanted to be a mother, before the world came crashing down, but you haven't given it much thought about it after. It was useless anyway. There wasn't a place like this, safe, where you could fancy such possibilities...

Your eyes suddenly find Daryl, seated on the kitchen table talking to Rick. In the back of your mind, you wonder if Daryl ever thought about having kids too. He does seem to like Judith, and she likes him too. Like he's being called, he looks straight at you, and you sustain his stare for a while before Judith claims your attention.

Shaking your head lightly to push these thoughts away, something else comes. The way Daryl suddenly started acting weird. Earlier today on the couch, and when you touched his face. It doesn't matter how hard you try to understand him, you can't. You need to talk to him, to ask what's wrong.

Judith stays with you all day, only to be taken by her brother Carl when the night has already fallen. So you have dinner before going back upstairs, fixing the blankets around you, and waiting for Daryl. But after an hour, you wonder if he'll even come.

So you push all the blankets away, ignoring the cold that quickly creeps over your skin. By the time you reach the hall, you realize you don't know where Daryl's room is. Why didn't he come? He always does, you don't have to ask. Did he forget you? Is he mad or something? Using the walls to help you walk, you move down the hall, a low groan leaving your lips when a sharp pain spreads through your torso.

“What are ya doin’?” His voice comes from behind, so you stop, leaning against the wall. Daryl reaches you a couple of seconds later, and you're quick to notice how he holds both your arms, keeping a distance in between you. “Come. I'll help ya get back.”

“I'm alright.” You mutter as he easily picks you up again, carrying you back to bed.

“Ya still need to be careful.” He simply says, standing back up once you're comfortably lying down.

“Daryl, I need to talk to you.” Sitting back up, you decide to just say it, put the cards on the table.

“Ya need anythin’? I can get ya–”

“No, I... I just need to understand what's going on.” You didn't want to interrupt him, but you get the feeling he's trying to run from the conversation. “From this morning you've been acting weird, like... Like you're suddenly trying to avoid me...”

“Ain't tryin’ to avoid ya.” He shifts his weight from one leg to another, looking down.

“Yes, you are. Don't you...” Running a hand through your hair, you try to come up with the right words to describe something you don't know how to. “Don't you like it when I touch you? Don't you–”

“I'm goin’ on a run with Rick.” He bursts out, not allowing you to finish. “I'll be leavin’ tomorrow mornin’ an’ it'll take four or five days.”

He sounds mad, angry even... He told you he usually goes on runs, but he hasn't left since you got here. You never thought about this, having to deal with Daryl being... Somewhere else. “Daryl, why–”

“I gotta get my stuff ready.” He then turns around and walks away. “Have a good night.”

And he's gone. He's gone and the tears immediately start rolling down. You're lost, disoriented. A different pain makes pressure in your chest, crushing you, pushing you back into the bed. Something happened. You must have done something, even though you don't know what it was. Covering your mouth with one hand to hold the sobs that come, you wonder how are you supposed to do this.

How are you supposed to endure the night? How are you supposed to be without him? You're not ready yet. What if he doesn't come back? What if he gets hurt? What if he got tired of taking care of you day after day? What if he doesn't want you? Your touch, your hugs, you.

He's tired of you. This fragile, broken thing you are. He saved you, yes, but it doesn't mean he cares for you. Maybe you misread things, and your feelings blinded you. And maybe he doesn't feel anything for you. Only pity.

×

@funeral-7 @heyyy-hey-babyyy @twdeadfanfic @soraitmnt @winchester-angel @bvbwestfall @shawtygonemad @cameronsails @pulplorrd

[thevampiresiren]

Lullaby

Min Yoongi x depressed!Reader

Summary: You've been hiding your struggles with your clinical depression and anxiety disorders from Yoongi, scared of being a clingy girlfriend. Yoongi comes home early to show you how he knows where you're coming from and will always be there for you.

Word Count: 1620

Genre: Angst/Fluff

WARNINGS: Cursing, Mentions of MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) and anxiety disorders. (Lyrics to the song do sound like its talking about suicide, but the song wasn't originally supposed to be about mental health)

A/N: This is one of my favorite Nickelback songs and it helps me when I myself have depressive episodes. It just had Yoongi trying to help someone with depression written all over it to me. Also this is only my second fanfic so try to cut me some slack😅

Well, I know the feeling

And there ain't no healing

Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge

From cutting yourself with the jagged edge

You're not quite sure what offically started it. All you knew was that your chest was aching, you felt nauseous, you were shaking, and had tears quietly running down your face. You knew you were becoming stressed with this new job of yours, but you ended up just pushing the stress back down like you always did. Well, your depression and anxiety had other plans for you. You ended up just putting your cell phone on vibrate, just wanting silence. Part of you wanted to call your boyfriend. He understood more than anyone what is was like having a depressive episode. It was one of the many things you and Yoongi had in common and one of the many reasons you fell in love with each other. Being able to understand each other's struggles and helping the other out when it became too much.

I'm telling you that, it's never that bad

Take it from someone who's been where you're at

The bigger part of you knew how happy Yoongi was that he was able to start being with the guys again after his surgery. You didn't have the heart to pull him away from his brothers when they were so happy to be with each other again. You reached out for Holly on the bed, pulling him close. Burying your face into his soft, brown, curly, fur; you allowed your tears to fall onto him. Holly began gently kissing your face, like he was trying to wipe your tears. You smiled at him before gently closing your eyes trying to relax.

Laid out on the floor, and you're not sure you can take this anymore

Yoongi knew something was going on with you for the past two days. You were going to bed earlier, eatting less, and  a lot more quiet. You said it was because you were tired and just stressed  from your new job. He would have believed you. But now that you weren't answering any of his texts or calls (or anyone else's for that matter), he knew it wasn't just "stress". He tried not worrying but what was he supposed to do? He ended up leaving the studio early, telling Namjoon and the rest of the guys that something was up and he needed to head home.

So just give it one more try to a lullaby, And turn this up on the radio. If you can hear me now I'm reaching out, To let you know that you're not alone

He tried calling you once again only for it go to voice-mail for the umpteenth time.

"Babygirl, please call me. I'll be home in less than five mintues. I just need to know that you're alright. I love you, okay?". He took a deep breath. He knew you were going to be okay, but he didn't know how long your depression was acting up or where your head was at.

And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell, 'Cause I can't get you on the telephone. So just close your eyes. Oh, honey, here comes a lullaby. Your very own lullaby

When Yoongi walked into the apartment, he didn't even think about taking his shoes off. He just went straight to the bedroom looking for you. He saw your phone abandoned on the couch and picked it up for you. Yoongi came up to the door and heard your muffled sniffles behind the door.

"Jagiya, can I come in?" He asked softly, not wanting to startle you. He heard a quiet "mhm" and gently opened the door. You had Holly underneath your head using him as a pillow, giving him gentle pets. Your face was stained in tears (along with Holly's fur), hair was a mess, and in nothing but your favorite red and black flannel of his with the skull on the back. Even though you were a wreck right now, you were still breath taking to him. Yoongi walked over to his side of the bed.

He sat down bedside you looking as your back faced him, rubbing your shoulder; making your shoulders slightly relax. It hurt him more than anything seeing you like this, it always did even though it didn't happen often and he always knew you would be okay.

"Can you look at me?" He said firm but gently. You stopped petting Holly and rolled over facing your boyfriend. You were scared that he would be upset for some reason but he looked worried and even sad. He held his arms out for you and gently pulled you to his chest protectively, rubbing your back soothingly. He let you cried into his chest as your body shook, tears staining his white tee as you held onto it like your life depended on it while he kissed your forehead and shoulder.

Please let me take you out of the darkness and into the light

He wasn't going to push you right now, but he needed to know what was going on. Once you calmed down and had your breathing under control he asked you what was going on.

"I wasn't lying when I said I was stressed over this job, but I guess it was effecting me more than I thought.". Yoongi nodded his while moving pieces of your hair out of your face.

"I don't know if I'm doing things right, I feel like whenever something goes wrong its my fault, and I just feel lost. I feel like I'm letting people down and I didn't want to say anything to stress people out because I know they have their own problems in their lives. I feel weak whenever this happens and feel like I let everyone down..." You said with your breath shaking.

Cause I have faith in you that you're gonna make it through another night

Yoongi pulled you into his lap, having you straddle his hips. He gently held your face between his large hands wiping your new tears away and leaving little kisses on your nose, cheeks, forehead, and lips.

"Jagi, you are NEVER weak when this happens. You're having a hard time right now and it's normal with depression and anxiety disorders. You're amazing at your job. You've never had any problems with jobs in the past and always are above average in performance reviews. And you know you can always call me. You don't stress me out. You know I know how this feels."

"I know that but you and the guys missed each other so much. I didn't want to take away your all's happiness and I didn't want you to think I was being a needy girlfriend..." you said crying again into his shoulders.

"Hey, have you ever thought of me as a needy boyfriend when I have my breakdowns?" Yoongi asked gently forcing you to look up at him with his finger under your chin. You gently shook your head.

"Have you ever been mad at me for pulling you away from your friends with my depression?". You shook your head again.

"Do you like seeing me suffer with my own personal demons?". Once again, you shook your head. Yoongi gently grabbed your arms and placed them around his neck while he placed his around you waist.

Stop thinking about the easy way out

There's no need to go and blow the candle out

"It works both ways babygirl. The guys always understand too. I hate seeing you like this without me knowing. It hurts me so fucking much." He said with tears in his eyes. "You and I both know that we're always there to help each other get through this shit. We understand each other more than anyone else. No matter what I'm doing I can't be happy knowing my girl isn't answering the phone because she is suffering inside her own head." He said as a tear fell. He pulled you into his chest again held onto you tightly. Like if he were to let go, he would wake up and you would be gone. He took a deep breath getting himself together, still holding you tightly.

"I love you so fucking much Y/N L/N. I want to do anything I can to help you like we always do with each other. Because you're going to get through this like all the other times. It's only going to get better from here baby. Don't let yourself burn out on this one thing. You're one of the strongest people I know." He said as a few more tears slid out.

Because you're not done, You're far too young and the best is yet to come

You wrapped your arms tightly around Yoongi's neck. You pressed your lips against his, your fingers running against his soft raven locks. He kisses you back slow and gently but somehow full of the passion and love he has for you. A few moments later you both gently pull away from the kiss, noses touching and out of breath.

"I love you too, Yoongs. I know everything will be okay. Its just the anxiety talking." You say rubbing his neck.

"I know it is and its hard. But I mean it. You promise me you'll call me whenever you need me. No matter what I'm doing, Dork." He said smiling lovingly at you while lightly flicking your forehead. You giggled softly smiling at him.

"You better do the same, Jerk."

Yoongi lifted up his pinky finger, wrapping it around yours and kissing it.

"I promise, brat."

So just give it one more try to a lullaby

[trappergirl]

001 for mattfoggy, 002 for jamie, and 003: avery barkley malcolm bright sam winchester logan echolls frank castle <3

put it all under a read more love u 💌

when i started shipping it: like, almost immediately. do you remember? i think as soon as i saw them interact i called froggy gay

my thoughts: they are so in love they're bffs they hold hands when they fight cause it makes them sad

what makes me happy: loyalty devotion honesty genuine connection open affection :) foggy being exactly what matt needs. they love each other 4 free

what makes me sad: they're both so convinced they don't deserve each other & are so tortured about it. i mean i love it but those poor boys :(

things done in fanfic that annoys me: i'll be honest i don't love dark matt. he's such a big softie for his foggy especially i just don't see the appeal...

things i look for in fanfic: foggy being the only person who has ever been gentle and loving with matt and matt absolutely not knowing how to cope with it. and repressed homosexuality is always nice. love that college era stuff <3 canon compliant, basically

who i’d be comfortable them ending up with: yeah yeah mattelektra. i even harbour some fondnesss for mattkaren. mattfrank entertains me. but foggy? foggy deserves to end up with matt. he's earned his happy ending

my happily ever after: nelson murdock and page attorneys at law :) nelson-murdock forever hyphenated if u know what i mean

who is the big spoon/little spoon: who is going to protect the man who protects hell's kitchen? foggy, obviously. he's lost matt once already there is no way he's letting go ever again. my man is a backpack. good luck getting away matty

their favorite non-sexual activity: they do absolutely everything together, they can turn anything into a date. frankly it's kind of disgusting how much they enjoy each other's company

💌💌💌

how i feel about them: i have never loved a man more. he's holding me hostage as i type this btw

all the people i ship romantically with this character: royjamiekeeley is genuinely everything to me but if i had the power to make samjamie canon i would

my non-romantic otp: ted ted ted ted ted and ofc dani <3 the rest of the boys too. when is jeff getting lines btw?

my unpopular opinion: i have many that go against popular fanon of him. too many to count. @anatomicvenus should know since she has to hear me list them all

something i wish would happen in canon: please please please don't let him have a love interest in s3. he does not need a girlfriend he needs a therapist. most important to me is that his relationship w ted gets explored & we get some jamiekeeley bff screentime

my otp: royjamiekeeley. one of my favourites of all time, honestly. i actually have much less interest in him hypothetically ending up with only one of them (either) than i do in all three together

my cross over ship: i do truly believe what i said about him and juliette barnes of nashville fame. oh yeah follow me on twitter for more of that

a headcanon fact: nothing i think about him is a headcanon it's all real. i know this because he told me because he's my best friend who lives in my head. anywayz i'd be willing (reluctantly) to accept that his mum is alive but if she is not (she is not) i have every single detail of her death figured out and if s3 invalidates my hard work sudoku's wrong not me

💌💌💌

sigh... so hard

1. avery barkley my babygirl my sworn enemy

2. malcolm...? he's just. poor little meowlcolm

3. logan echolls. obligatory psychotic jackass but he's my obligatory psychotic jackass

4. frank castle ughhh <3333

5. sammy my girlfriend sammy. sorry baby

[insufferablelust]

Hey I was wondering if you could do something cute with Spencer (earlier seasons) where reader (BAU) is really small and sweet in general but can outdrink anyone and he’s just like ‘how r u not dead???’ when the team all go out for drinks :))

hi angel! thank you for requesting this, i love the idea and you’ll see the result soon, but anyway yeah.. i might... gone a bit over with this one.. and i changed the story a bit i hope thats okay. Happy reading❤️

Sorry for grammatical errors!

SUPER FLUFF AND DRUNK-NESS!!

It was around 6 pm when the jet landed safely in Virginia, the team has just wrapped up a particularly gruesome complex case that left them exhausted but relieved nonetheless because they’ve caught the unsub. When they walked into the bullpen, they immediately saw Garcia sniffles as stepped out of her lair to hug each and every one of you— especially tighter around you, since you’re just so tiny and ‘hugable’ she said one time, in which you chuckled and return the hug as tight. “hey it’s alright, we’re okay. It’s over.” you whispered, knowing full well how much these cases could affect her, and she smiled warmly as she muttered a small “thank you (y/l/n)”

As everyone settled to write down some paperwork from the case files, Rossi abruptly stood before suggesting that you guys should celebrate the success you achieved today, Morgan was the first one to jump into the opportunity- hurriedly stacking his papers on his desk before dragging prentiss out of her chair “okay now c’mon, everyone— hey Reid! (Y/n)! Yes- you genius geeks will be there or you’re not scared are you einsteins?” the cheap threat causes a burst of laughter amongst the team including from Aaron, while you felt the warmth creeping up on your cheeks.

You see you rarely attended the ‘after celebration’ party they held, unless its in Rossi’s place, now that one you can’t pass up because Italian foods! but in all seriousness, it’s not that you don’t want to be with your teammates, it’s just that you’ve always been the life of the party ever since you were a teenager. Your friend Samantha used to called you out on your gift, of the ability to drink without a single trace of being drunk despite you being tiny, now that wouldn’t usually be a problem but things change when you have a major crush on your coworker, Dr. Reid.

If someone asked, what is it that draws you into Spencer? you could probably list more than 100 things. Ever since you joined, you and spencer immediately clicks, maybe because you both have a lot in common. From the way you love the same movies, types of books, and even have similar philosophical views- hence the nicknames that your teammates has given you both, Duo geek geniuses or Mr and Mrs. Einstein, lastly your favorite is Dr. and Mrs. Reid due to your similarities. You may never admit it, but every time Derek would use that one particular name, your heart feels like it may burst at any second. In conclusion, You’re whipped and you hesitated on him finding out just how wild you can be.

But before your better judgment can come to view, your smugness get the best of you. Standing straight, arms folded across your chest as you stare into derek’s eyes “We’ll see who passes out first, ‘chocolate thunder’” you replied, earning claps from your teammates including spencer whose smile is as wise as you can possibly imagine. what can you say? (Y/n) (Y/l/n) never backs out from a challenge.

Few hours later they arrived at a local bar near the building, (y/n) managed to yet again sit beside Spencer on a private booth, to her left is Prentiss, followed by Rossi, Morgan, JJ, then Penelope. Aaron needed to come home because Jack needs his father, (so that left the bau kids without their dad). As they chatter for a bit, your hand turned to look at Spencer, immediately noticing the slight uncomfortableness plastered on his face.

You ran your palm on his shirt covered arms, smiling gently “Hey, are you okay? do you wanna get out of here?” Spencer could tell that you’re being genuine, and caring which made his heart burst. “No, i’m okay (y/n) bars aren’t really my thing” He nervously giggles, scrunched up his nose and looked back at you. “Okay just let me know, spence” You patted his chest twice before returning to listen to the others.

Garcia had ordered shots for you to all drink, when it arrived your eyes widened at the sight of way too many shot glass filled with.. vodka you presumed, and 2 glass of coke and one glass of water. Everyone just stared back and forth between the drinks and garcia, which she replied with a “you guys said its a celebration” and before anyone can argue, morgan interrupts “Its okay babygirl, as i remembered that our sweet genius little miss (y/n) here have promised us she would drink tonight, and lots of it” his eyebrows are twitched as you lick your lips before leaning forward to take down the first shot.

“bring it on”

as it reached 12 AM all of the team has drown at least 3 shots, whilst you and Morgan’s count is higher than that. You heard a loud chuckle coming from your right as you gulped down a glass of water, turning to your side you can see spencer nursing his glass of coke that seemingly still full.

“Okay, who are you and what have you done to my sweet (Y/n)?” He said with a laugh, the straws that hang from his lips made your breath hitched and your fingers gripped the glass tightly at the sound of My sweet (Y/n). You composed yourself before mumbling,

“Hey thats not nicee! i’m right here still the same, what? you don’t love me when i’m drunk?” and if you think that doesn’t effect every neurons in his system then you’re dead wrong because Spencer would’ve done anything to just squeeze you tight in his arms and hold you close while listening to your slightly drunken rambles. “No, god no angel. What i meant is that, i was just not expecting this side of you, i mean look around, you outdrank everyone— how are you not dead yet?” his voice is borderline high pitched but also rugged, which made you instantly blush, looking down before glancing at your drunk coworkers, giggling at the sight of them.

Rossi had left few moments ago if your memory is right, Will picked up JJ and a very drunk Penelope home, whilst Prentiss took a very very drunk half-passed-out-Morgan. After saying your mocking goodbyes, you and spencer stared at each other. Your gaze is drunk yet lovingly genuine, Spencer’s figure tower over you as he tucked some of your fallen hair behind your ears and smiles.

“How about i take you home?” He offered, which earned a small disappointment filled whined from you at the loss of his touch. Your eyes widen, hoping he didn’t hear that but of course he did and immediately wrapped his arms around your shoulder, keeping her warm by his side as he walked them both to her car.

“You’re awfully cuddly when you are drunk (y/n) this is the drunk you i thought i was going to see” he opened the passenger door for you, before slide into the driver seat and started driving. “well i’m sorry that you didn’t like this side of me i thought—“ before you continue to ramble your drunk thoughts out, Spencer reached to softly grip your hand in his and let out a breathy laugh,

“No! (Y/n) thats not what i meant, i mean- i always like you, i’ve always liked you since the beginning no matter how many sides you have on you, you’re smart, and funny, and you understand me- thats why i like you so don’t think for a second that i didn’t like you then, especially when you beat Morgan’s ass off” He rambles as you dreamily stare into him, half hearing what he said, before he freezes, and realized what he had said or basically confessed.

“hey uh-“

“uh huh, i like you too, Spencer reid”

“We’ll try again tomorrow when you’re sober”

“I’m pretty sure, my feelings will still be the same.”

“Mine too.”

————————

I KNOW THIS IS WAY TOO LONG TO BE CONSIDERED AS A BLURB IM SORRY SHJSKS ANYWAYS ENJOY AND SEND ME REQUESTS THANK YOU!!

[todomochi-uwu]

Babygirl.

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x reader

Warnings: Angst, Age difference

Author´s Note: I actually like this idea, I hope you too. I haven´t been able to write in a while because of lack of inspiration, but this one pop up. Hope you guys enjoy it.

“It´s going to be okay love. You don’t have to worry about a thing.” 

Clammy hands, shivers down your spine, red cheeks, and dry lips. All consequences of the anxiety that was consuming my entire body, at this very moment.

Will they like me? I really hope so.

Will they accept me? I pray the do.

Will they compare me to…? Oh most likely. 

Breathe in. And Out. In. Out. In. Out. 

You can actually do this, you can do it. You aren’t a bad person, you aren’t doing anything wrong. So what if you are not a pro hero? You love your job, you were good at it and honestly being a hero was never actually your goal. 

Red matte lips adorning your face; thick eyeliner framing your eyes; your hair tight in a high ponytail with way too many pins; big silver hops; a black dress with a sweetheart neckline that was embracing your curves so tightly you were having a bit of trouble breathing in; a bracelet around your wrist with a bright “K” in the middle of it, his personal mark on yourself; and some stilettos making you look at least a foot taller and perking your ass up. You didn’t hate the way you look; genuinely loving your reflection, but that didn’t ease your mind.

 “My god, don’t you look breath taking, baby girl.” His raspy voice and caramel essence filled the room, making your cheeks even redder and puffier. Turning around to meet his eyes, and hear more thoughts on the look. He looked absolutely gorgeous, some tight clothes he was wearing. A black dress shirt which had the top buttons opened, for your pleasure, a pair of grey suit pants, along a black designer’s belt, oh you knew that belt very well.

“Do you like it?” He let out a giggle, before tugging your hand so he could have a closer look. “Mmhm, I love it. It almost makes me wish we could stay home, I don’t want anybody enjoying this view but me.” 

His rough hands gave your butt a tight squeeze, making you yelp. “But the idea of them drooling and not being able to do anything about it because you are mine and only mine, is even more enticing.”“´Suki!” You gave him a light slap on the shoulder, before leaning your forehead against his. 

“You know you don’t have to be nervous, right? They are going to love you.” He caressed your cheek, “Besides you already know some of them, the most important at least, the rest of them are just useless extras.” You smile, you knew he was trying to take some of the pressure out of your shoulders, but it couldn’t be done. 

“They are your old classmates, fellow co-workers and if you have forgotten the sign of peace will also be there.” He grunted at your last mention, making you laugh. “Even after all this years you aren’t used to the idea?” “It’s not that I’m not used to, I just can’t believe that nerd is the number one hero.” “And one of your very best friends, so don’t act all tough and angry with me.” Sticking your tongue out for him before taking your purse and grabbing his hand. 

“Are you sure Mitsuki is going to be okay with Rin? I really hope he doesn’t cause a lot of trouble.” You stared at his back while he closed the door and walked to the car. “Don’t worry about the old hag, she adores the brat. Besides, she offered to do it anyway. So… Shall we?” 

“We shall.”

----------------

The whole ride Katsuki kept holding your hand, in hopes of calming you down, running his thumb over your knuckles, making small circles in your palm and tracing his name over and over again. You kept checking your make up every single minute, worrying that lipstick would stain your teeth or mascara would smear in your eyelids, adjusting your earrings and making sure no little hairs came out of their place. 

Bakugou kept looking at you, even if he wasn’t showing it, he was also very anxious himself, he didn’t know what the general reaction was going to be, no one really knew you were going to be attending his best friend´s party, but Kirishima. He loves you, he was certain of that and he wasn’t going to let anyone disrespect you. Still, he was scared. Time had passed, right? Both had move on and dating was okay, right? He sure hopes so. 

You waited in front of the door, it had been five minutes now, but he didn’t want to rush you, so he only kept his hand in your lower back and whisper sweet words on your ear. 

“It´s going to be okay love. You don’t have to worry about a thing.”Before you could even knock, Kirishima opened the door and gave you a bright smile,

“Are you guys coming in or are you going to wait all night out here? Because let me tell you, with the way you look right now Y/N you sure make this a very happy birthday.” He winked before stepping aside to let you in. 

“Happy birthday, Eijirou” You whispered, before you gave him a small hug. “Thank you, kiddo.”“Happy birthday, shitty hair; but don’t you dare push it.” He pushed a small black box against Kirishima´s chest. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Bakubro.” He giggled while shaking his head, “Come on, everyone’s already here” 

Leading you to the leaving room, your chest tighten. Well fuck, here we go. 

“Hey guys, Bakugou is here!” Kaminari announced making everybody’s heads turn around. And instantly you saw a few eyes go wide, a few jaws opened and closed without know what to say and bodies’ just static not having a clue about what to do, it felt like an eternity before Mina´s screaming and throwing herself at you broke the awkward silence.

“Y/N! I finally get to meet you; Bakugou has told me so much about you!” She gave you a bright smile before putting a glass of wine in your hand, and while she managed to calm you down a bit, you could still feel some eyes in the back of your head. 

Soon most of Bakugou´s old classmates and friends had gather around to meet you, greeting you and welcoming you, asking about you, your job and how the hell had you manage you tame the beast. Bakugou had stay the whole time next to you, making snarky comments and laughing at the old memories Sero and Denki were telling you about. 

After having a little too much to drink and making sure you were comfortable, he excused himself to go to the bathroom, placing a small kiss in your temple before leaving. 

----------------

But just as he was about to open the door, he sensed someone was behind his back, he didn’t have to turn around to tell who it was.

“What kindergarten did you steal her from, Katsuki?” He let out a sigh, really not wanting to do this.

“Hello there, Uraraka.”

[farfromharry]

always (part four) | harry holland series

summary: Baby shopping with Nikki and Harry, then eventually revealing your baby’s gender to the Holland family + Harrison

word count - 2.1k

warnings - language

As the months passed, rather too quickly for your liking, Nikki was completely set on taking you baby shopping. Practically dragging you out with her, and unfortunately for him, making Harry come to.

You were currently browsing through some baby clothes with Nikki, your hand on your 6 month bump. Harry was god knows where, having separated from you two a while ago, saying something about finding baby clothes with good taste.

“What about that one?” She motioned towards a simple dark blue onesie and with a simple nod of your head it was in your basket.

“Y/n!” Harry whisper yelled. You looked around until you saw him, meeting his eyes from a distance with a confused expression. “look how cute this is.” He pointed to a little onesie that looked like a duck, an eye roll coming from you.

“Put it back Harry.” You giggled, watching the boy pout adorably.

“But-“

“No.” You shook your head, the boy shuffling over to you sadly. He rested his chin on your shoulder, arms going around you to sprawl his hands on your growing belly. Harry was obsessed with your belly, and luckily for him, he was one of the only people you felt comfortable letting touch your bump. He would often hold your belly or talk to it, or rub your back for you if it was hurting. His actions only made you fall deeper in love with him, something that scared you, but something that was also quite amazing to you.

Harry continued to goof around, intent on buying practically all the teddy bears he could find.

“Harry, stop.” You laughed, taking another silly onesie out of your basket and putting it back.

“Listen, i was promised food if i came and-“ You giggled.

“You’ll get food, just, after we’re done.” He huffed, turning to his mum to pester her like a child.

“If i let you get the duck onesie, will you stop?” He nodded his head, a grin forming on his lips.

“fine, go get it.” He almost squealed, rushing back down the aisles to grab it. He came back and you couldn’t help giggling at Nikki’s unimpressed face, snatching the onesie off of him to place in the basket and move on.

“You’re an idiot, Harry.” He gasped, feigning offense at your words.

“Harry junior would never treat me like this.” You rolled your eyes as he knelt down and hugged your belly.

“Harry junior?” He nodded, confidently.

“Not a chance.” You laughed, pushing his head away from you playfully.

“Come on kids.” Nikki mumbled in her motherly voice, trying to motion for you two to stop messing around.

“I’m hungry.” Harry whined again, probably for the hundredth time.

Nikki eventually grew sick of his whining, asking if you had everything you needed. You paid for your items and then decided your next stop was going to be to get Harry some food. He practically cheered at the news, acting like a child on christmas.

“You’re so weird.” He rolled his eyes, turning this back on you.

“Don’t even try and tell me baby’s not excited to eat.” He pointed to your belly accusingly, a sheepish smile covering your face.

“Hey, I'm feeding 2 people, what’s your excuse?” Nikki laughed at your childish bickering, shaking her head at you both. She couldn’t help but notice the soulmate connection between you again, just wondering when the news was finally going to come out.

After grabbing some food, Nikki dropped you off back home, getting Harry to help you take the bags of baby things inside.

“I’ll see you soon.” He gave you a quick but firm hug, kissing your head and waving goodbye. You waved as the two drove away, going inside and deciding on unpacking the things to start and put away.

The nursery currently wasn’t done, you had a few boxes with stuffed toys and things in and some with baby clothes in, just until you could guilt trip your best friend into helping you set everything up.

You moved to stand in front of the mirror you had sitting in the corner of the almost empty room. You cupped your growing belly and turned to the side, grinning slightly.

“I can’t wait to meet you.” You spoke quietly. “You’re g’na be so loved, so spoiled by the Holland boys.” You giggled. You jolted lightly when you felt a slight kick near where your hand lay.

“Can you hear me, hear mummy talking to you?” You gushed, eyes beginning to water.

You’d heard from the nurse that it was a good idea to try talking to the baby, just to try and create that bond early on.

After getting that reaction from them, you ended up making sure to make time at least once a day until the end of your pregnancy, to just say hello.

“Hello, baby.”

———

A few days after baby shopping with Nikki, you were practically begging all your close friends to stop with the baby gifts, reassuring them you had enough toys and clothes to last them a lifetime. Admittedly Tom and Sam had been the worst of the holland’s for it, so far at least, shocking you that it wasn’t Harry. Tom bombarded you with spiderman themed items, which was expected by you all.

So when Harry showed up in your flat, announcing he’d bought something else for your little bub, you couldn’t help rolling your eyes.

“Okay so, i know you said no more baby things but, i couldn’t help myself.” You groaned, throwing your head back as Harry made himself known in your flat. He found you sitting on a kitchen chair at the island, eating random pregnancy cravings you had, of which he found utterly disgusting.

“What did you do?” He pulled out a small bag from behind his back, placing it on the counter and pulling out a small stuffed bear that replicated a tiny captain america, shield and all.

“Harry-“

“I know what you said, but I saw it and I know he’s your favourite.” He pouted, handing you the bear with a small smile. You grinned against your will, pulling him into a hug as a thank you.

“But this is the last one okay, no more baby things.” He nodded, giving you his pinky to promise. Harry watched as your body suddenly jumped, hand shifting to your belly with an excited smile.

“What’s wrong?”

“Come here.” You summoned him over, placing his hand on your stomach where you’d just felt your bub move.

“What am i-“ His sentence was cut short when he felt a weak kick against his palm, his eyes shooting to yours with tears brimming on his waterline.

“Was that-“

“She’s kicking.” Harry grinned, the news flying right over his head. it took a few minutes to register until his eyes finally snapped to yours.

“wait, she?” You nodded, tears now slipping down your cheeks.

“Found out this morning.” You explained.

“you’re having a little girl.” He was in awe. He wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling his face in your neck.

“congrats y/n.” You and Harry talked for a while, mainly about baby name ideas. He recommended some names he thought were pretty, your heart warming at how involved he wanted to be with your little girl.

“what about-“ He began, before you cut him off.

“Harry, you’ve said so many names I've already forgotten the first ones.” He smiled sheepishly, apologising for overwhelming you.

“s’okay, but we’ve got plenty of time to decide, don’t worry.” He nodded. “but, i do need you to help me set up the nursery.” you smiled.

“is this weekend okay?” You nodded.

“I can set up some furniture but I need help paint-“ He stopped you mid sentence.

“You aren’t doing anything, I'll get tom and sam to help, you just rest your pretty little self.” you rolled your eyes as your cheeks flushed a light pink shade, trying to brush off Harry’s sneaky compliment like it was nothing.

“We’ll get her room looking fit for a little princess.”

“A spoiled little princess.” Harry rolled his eyes sassily.

“Obviously, she now has 4 uncles that will always be ready to spoil her.” He argued.

“Yeah, yeah.” You laughed.

“Have you told anyone else?” You shook your head no, Harry’s eyes lighting up with a cheeky smirk.

“So I found out first?” You shushed him, pushing his shoulder. “I’m honoured, especially to know I'm your favourite.”

“I’ve told you before, Paddy’s my favourite.” He grumbled something under his breath about his brother that you didn’t hear, claiming it was nothing when you threatened to snitch on him.

“That’s what i thought, big man.” Harry’s face suddenly lit up, telling you he had an idea for something.

“Can we surprise the others with the gender?” He looked like a puppy, your heart melting. You couldn’t say no to him like that, so you nodded, Harry getting straight to how each one could go.

———

You spent the next few days surprising the Holland family with the announcement of your babygirl, trying to do it discreetly. Starting with Nikki and Dom first.

“So, I have some news, but in order to break it to you-“ You motioned to Harry who was holding a box with two donuts. They were coated in pink icing, one having the words ‘it’s a’ written on in red, while the other had ‘girl.’

They took them with a thank you, Harry placing his hand on your shoulder as a good luck wish.

Your heart sank when Dom took a bite of the donut without reading it, fearing your plan had failed.

“What’s your news, y/n?” Nikki asked, smiling up at you.

“I was going to say read the donuts, but that might not work anymore.” She glanced down and read hers.

“It’s a?” You nodded. Her eyes widened when she realised what you meant. “The baby's gender?” You nodded again.

“What does yours say?” She asked her husband, quite frantically. Seeing as he’d already eaten most of his, it wasn’t very noticeable what the word had been. However, after seeing a still intact ‘G’, she was able to decipher it.

“You’re having a girl?” She asked, tearfully.

“I’m having a girl.” You confirmed, letting her pull you into a hug. She said a ‘congratulations’ into your ear, kissing your head temple as she pulled away.

“I’m so happy for you.”

You hoped that Sam and Paddy hadn’t already heard the news from downstairs. Going up to Sam’s room, Harry asking Paddy to come and join you all.

“I have an announcement about baby.” Both sets of eyes were now on you, focused and listening.

“So boys.” you started. “You might need to put these on actually.”

You pulled 2 baby sized shirts from behind your back, handing them over with a giggle. Sam read his first, his eyes widening upon seeing ‘favourite niece.’

“Really?”

“Yeah.” You confirmed. Paddy still hadn’t got what was going on, reading over the words ‘prettiest princess.’

“C-can someone explain?” Harry chuckled at his younger brother and wrapped his arm around his shoulders.

“She’s having a girl, Pads.” Harry explained, realisation and a wave of emotions hitting him square in the face.

“We’re so proud of you.” Sam held onto you tightly, flashing his twin a sneaky look over his shoulder.

“Thank you.” You pulled back and hugged Paddy, the boy congratulating you and assuring you that they’d be spoiling her as soon as they could.

Tom and Harrison were next after finding them both in the house.

You wanted to give Tom the most difficult task, blowing up a balloon that told you ‘it’s a girl.’

“I need you to blow this up.” You handed him the packet with the balloon inside, a groan coming from him. He begrudgingly started to blow up the balloon, his face becoming red as he slowly became out of breath.

“Holy shit!” Harrison shouted, seeing the writing on the side, even before it was fully intact.

Tom looked at it and jumped up from the couch.

“I knew it!” Tom announced, a wide grin on his face as he hugged you tightly, he swayed you both slowly, his excitement getting the best of him.

“I can’t wait to be her favourite.” You rolled your eyes, letting Harry and Tom start that debate while getting a hug from Harrison.

“Congrats y/n.”

“Thank you, Haz.”

You spent the rest of the day by Harry’s side, the two of you fantasizing about what your baby girl’s going to be like, and you thought it was perfect.

harry holland + always taglist - @euphorichxlland @theliterarymess @drie-the-derp @sunkisseddreamer @call-me-baby-gir1 @fallinfortom @hollandbroz-n-haz @hopelessly-harry @iwearheadphones @kerrswriting @thevelvetseries @minejungwoo @givebuckyhisplumsnow @itstaskeen

[fandomrewrites]

Chasing Butterflies: Nova’s Story

Hello all! Nova’s story is a pretty tragic one so there will be quite a few warnings listed. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and as always constructive criticism is appreciated. Remember to leave me requests if you want and let me know if you want to be added to any taglists.

Before Season 1 Pairings: OC x OC Best Friends, OC x OC Warnings: being drugged, sexual assault, mild torture, murder, self harm, and suicidal thoughts Word Count: 2,981

Everyone on the Ark knew about Nova Kane and not just because her father, Marcus, was the Vice Chancellor. No, they knew who she was because not only did she do extremely well in all of her classes but she was funny, kind, and above all she was shaping to become the next Chancellor. The youngest Chancellor in the history of the Ark.

Of course with Nova only being 15 it was still going to be quite sometime before this happened. But anyone who looked at her could tell that the girl was a natural born leader. The way she talked, the way she walked, the way she constantly observed everyone around her. She was intimidating to say the least. She held an aura that immediately made you respect her, even if you didn't like her.

Just three months ago Nova began taking private lessons with councilman Jericho Abraham. Her father, Chancellor Jaha, and Dr. Griffon were all too busy with their duties to give her lessons so Jericho happily volunteered to help. 

These lessons were scheduled once a week so that Jericho could teach Nova about the laws on the Ark and the duties of the councilmen. These meetings were to help her understand how to best help her people, enforce the laws, and how to make difficult decisions. After all, before Nova could become Chancellor she needed to be on the council and win her people over.

When she wasn't at these lessons with Jericho, Nova was practicing her self defence training with her boyfriend Jett. Jett was a year older and training to become a guard at the time. Her self defence lessons were originally taught by an older guard, but when Jett started his training he volunteered to take over. 

Nova wasn't someone you wanted to mess with, and that was clear to see. Though the more people got to know her, they realized how kind and caring she truly was. The Ark residents may not like the laws and they may frown at the sight of the privileged but everyone had, at one moment or another, wondered if Nova could be the person to make a difference.

But one day this hope for change was crushed. Nova Kane was arrested and no one knew why. There were rumors that she stole, what or from whom, no one knew. There were other rumors that she was framed for something she never even did. Only four people knew the truth, Chancellor Jaha, Dr. Griffon, Marcus Kane, and herself.

 *_*_*_*_*_*

 It was just after lunch on a Saturday, which meant it was time for Nova's lesson with Jericho. Head held high she made her way past the empty halls to his place. She knocked on the door and not a minute later it opened to reveal Jericho's smiling face. "Hello Nova. Please come in."

He steps aside, making room for the teenager to walk through the door, "Hi Mr. Abraham." 

"Nova, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Jericho?"

Nova sheepishly smiled, "Right, sorry."

He lightly chuckled, "Would you like some tea before we begin?"

"Tea sounds lovely, thanks." Nova sits down in the living room and pulls out her tablet so she could get ready to write notes. She waits patiently as Jericho prepares the tea. 

As soon as they were both seated, tea placed in front of them, the lesson began. As Nova was writing her notes and sipping the tea she started to feel dizzy. Blinking, she gently placed her mug down and shakes her head, trying to get rid of the odd feeling. 

"Are you alright, Nova?" She hears Jericho ask.

"I- I don't-" She can't properly form a sentence. Her words slur as she raises a hand to her head.

"It's okay. You're going to be fine."  This is the last thing Nova hears before she falls back, passing out.

When she starts to come through her vision is blurry and she feels pressure between her legs. She tries to move but quickly realizes that her limbs are tied. She groans out trying to speak but a cloth is stuffed in her mouth.

Finally her vision clears and above her is Jericho. When he sees that she's awake he let's a smile form on his lips, "You're so beautiful, darling." He whispers in her ear.

Realizing what's happening Nova begins to fight against her restraints. She looks down to see Jericho already inside of her. Tears fall from her eyes as he pushes her shoulders back, "It's okay. We're almost done. You've been so good."

The next few minutes go by agonizingly slow. But once Jericho is finished he begins speaking once more, "Now you're going to be a good girl as I untie you. You're going to take a shower and leave, not telling anyone about this."

He slowly takes the cloth out of her mouth so that she can answer, "Why should I listen to you?" Nova spits out, tears streaming down her face.

"Because no one will believe you. I mean come on. A councilman over a silly teenager? Be smart about this, darling."

"My dad will believe me."

"Fine, how about this? I know a way to kill you while making it look like an accident. So if you don't agree to my conditions you will never see your friends or father again."

Nova pauses, thinking this over. Reluctantly she nods, "Fine. I'll do what you say."

 *_*_*_*_*_*

 It's been a week since Nova was raped by Jericho Abraham. She's been trying her best to act normal but everyone can tell something is wrong. She's been distant and less talkative than usual. 

Every night she wakes up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath, and tears streaming down her face. She's been having nightmares about the incident and whenever she sees Jericho in the halls she turns to walk the other way.

On Saturday morning she quickly made her way to Jett's place. Once the door opens Jett let Nova in, "Hey. Are you alright? You've been pretty distant this past week." Jett says once they're sitting.

"I think we should break up." Nova states.

"What? Why?" Jett asks in shock, "Did I do something?"

"No, Jett. I just- I've been going through some stuff and right now I'm not in the right mindset to be dating."

"Nova, talk to me. I want to help."

Nova bites her lip and blinks back tears, "Trust me. This is for the best. You can't help me with this, okay?"

Jett starts to become frustrated, "How do you know that?"

"I just do. Don't make this any harder than it has to be. Please, Jett. I care about you so much, but I need to deal with this by myself." She abruptly stands up, "I gotta go."

"Nova wait-" She doesn't hear the rest as she turns on her heel and leaves his place, rushing back to her room. 

She knew what had to be done. She couldn't live like this anymore. Knowing that Jericho got away with raping her. She felt disgusting, used, broken. She knew that her dad wasn't supposed to be home until after dinner so she quickly picked up a knife and went to her room. 

She twirled the knife in her hand, studying the silver blade. She gently put it down and grabbed her tablet. She wanted to write her goodbyes. A letter to Elara, Jett, and her dad apologizing for ending her life. 

It took her a few hours before the three letters were written just how she wanted them to be. By this time it was well past her scheduled meeting time with Jericho. She made sure she left her tablet unlocked so there was easy access to her suicide letters. 

She calmly reached over and grabbed the knife. She bite her lip to stop the sob from escaping her mouth. She ran the blade over one wrist then switched hands so she could do the same to the other. 

She paused, sucking in a breath as she watched the blood drip from her arms. As her vision blurred from her tears she picked up the knife one last time to bury it in her chest. Just as she was lining up the blade and tightening her grip, her door swung open.

"Nova! Stop!" She looked up, shocked to see her father home early. Before she had the time to react he rushed over and pulled the knife from her hands. Marcus pulled his daughter into a tight hug, cradling her head against his chest.

"No! No! Why did you do that?" Nova sobbed, trying to shove her father away.

"Nova, please stop." Marcus said, not letting her go. Finally, Nova stopped fighting. Her body shook with sobs as she gripped tightly to Marcus' shirt. "You're okay, babygirl. I got you." He whispered to her, lightly patting her head to try and calm her.

Once she calmed down Marcus looked at her arms, "We need to get you to Abby."

"I'm not leaving my room." Nova replied, stubbornly.

"Fine, I'll tell her to come here." He quickly grabbed the knife and left the room to call Abby. When he re-entered Nova's room he looked at her, "What made you want to kill yourself, babygirl?"

She bit her lip, unsure if she should tell the truth. "Jericho raped me last week." She finally mumbled. She made sure to look her father in the eyes so he knew she was telling the truth.

"He what?" Marcus asked, shocked.

"Jericho drugged me, tied me up, and raped me last week when he was supposed to be helping me." She spoke once more, this time louder and more clear. "He made me shower after and told me not to say anything because no one would believe me. And then he said even if they did he knew a way to kill me and make it look like an accident."

Nova's voice shook as she told her dad what happened. But if you looked close enough you could see that there was fire in her eyes. She would get justice one way or another. "I'm going to see if there is anything we can do to prove this. And when we do I will be there to personally float him." Marcus says to his daughter.

 *_*_*_*_*_*

 Another week went by of Nova being distant with her friends and waking up in the middle of the night because of her nightmares. Marcus has been working tirelessly with Jaha and Abby to try and figure out a way that they could prove what he did. The night before they finally reached a conclusion but Nova was already in bed before her father could tell her.

On Saturday morning Marcus and Nova sat in their small kitchen eating breakfast. It was silent for a while before Marcus finally decided to break the news to the young girl, "Nova?"

"Hmm." She hummed, still not looking up from her plate.

"You know how Abby, Jaha, and I have been talking?" Nova nods. "Well, we don't think there is anyway to prove what he did to you."

Nova froze. This was her worst fear. To speak up and still have to face him everyday. "Nova, babygirl? Are you alright?"

Nova slammed her fork down. She quickly pushed out her chair, making it fall to the floor. "Nova!" Marcus called. 

"What the fuck kind of question is that? Of course I'm not alright! My rapist gets to roam free because it's my word against his! He was fucking right! There's nothing I can do about it. I am not alright, not even in the slightest. I'm pissed off. I'm hurt. I don't want to be alive anymore."

"Nova please, calm down. Just because we can't do anything right now, doesn't mean that we will never be able to do anything."

Nova bitterly laughs, "Right. So we're just supposed to wait around until he commits another crime? Hurts another innocent girl? This is bullshit and you know it."

"Nova please. I'll figure something out. Just stay here. I'll be back in no more than an hour." He reaches over and kisses Nova on the forehead before turning and leaving.

Nova sucks in a couple of breaths. She then squares her shoulders and leaves her home, taking the well known journey to Jericho's place.

When the door swings open and Jericho's eyes land on Nova's smiling face, he's shocked. "Nova, what are you doing here? Your dad told me that you didn't want to take lessons anymore."

Nova pushed past him, "He doesn't know what he's talking about. I just needed a break last week."

"Oh, uh, alright. Did you want something to drink? Tea?"

Nova's smile widens, "Tea sounds lovely." Unlike last time, this time Nova follows him into the kitchen. When Jericho's back is turned her smile drops from her face. Her eyes harden into a glare as he starts to speak to her, though the words don't register.

She reaches over and picks up a pan. She holds it tightly in both hands and whacks Jericho over the head, instantly knocking him out. She slowly maneuvers him into a kitchen chair, tying his hands and legs to the chair so he can't move. She shoves a cloth in his mouth and grabs a long kitchen knife.

She pulls up a chair to sit across from him, waiting until he wakes up. When Jericho's eyes blink open Nova smirks. "Welcome to the land of the living. Don't enjoy it too much because you'll be dead soon."

Jericho's eyes widen in fear, he starts trying to speak though no words can be made out through the cloth, "Hush now, darling. It's okay. Be good for me." Nova patronizes. She leans forward pointing the knife under his throat, tilting his chin up. "I want you to look me in the eyes when I end your pathetic life."

She slowly stands up, pushing her chair away with her foot. She walks around Jericho, lightly dragging the knife across his face. She leans down to whisper in his ear, "Where should I cut first? Maybe an arm?" She moves the knife to one of his forearms.

"Or maybe I should just cut off both your hands so you can never touch a girl again." She moves the knife over his wrist. "Actually, I think it would be better if we start off closer to the penis." As she says the last word she slams the knife into Jericho's thigh.

This makes him scream in pain, though the sound is muffled. Nova chuckles, "This is fun." She yanks the knife out, making Jericho scream once more. She moves behind him once more, wrapping her arms around his chest. He tries to squirm away, putting as much distance between them as possible.

Nova mockingly pouts, "Why are you trying to move away from me? Just a couple of weeks ago you would have loved the feeling of my arms around you." When he doesn't stop trying to move away, Nova adjusts her hold on the knife and drags it across his ribs. Blood drips from the wound as Jericho grunts in pain. "Oops."

She quickly releases her hold on him, walking around to look him in the eyes once more. She eyes him carefully, "This is losing the appeal quickly. If I let you go, you won't say anything, right? Your cuts you got in some freak accident."

Nova reaches forward and pulls the cloth out of his mouth, "Why should I not say anything?" He says through clenched teeth.

"Because if you do you'll have to explain why I attacked you in the first place. And I already told my dad that you raped me. So that's two Kane's against a silly councilman."

"Fine, I won't say anything." Jericho spits out.

Nova smirks once more. She shoves the cloth back in his mouth which makes him start moving frantically, trying to get out of his binds. Nova quickly cuts Jericho's penis, tears springing to the older man's eyes. "See Jericho, the difference between me and you." Nova pauses, "I don't care if I get arrested. And the only way I'll let someone get away with disrespecting me," Nova scoffs, "Is if I'm dead."

Nova looks him directly in the eyes one last time as she plunges the knife through his heart. She cleans off the knife and her hands then leaves Jericho's home, returning to her own. As soon as she opens the door she is met with the frantic pacing of her father. 

Marcus turns to face the door when he hears it opening, "Oh my God! Are you alright? Where have you been?" Marcus rushes over to his daughter, checking to see if she is injured.

"I'm fine." She looks down seeing her shirt coated in blood, "It's not my blood." She answers emotionlessly.

"Nova... what did you do?" Marcus asks, shock evident in his voice.

"You may want to get to councilman Abraham's place before his wife gets home in two hours."  Is all she replies, "I'm going to go shower." She turns on her heel and walks into the bathroom. The next day Nova was arrested. 

Abby told everyone that Jericho died from a heart attack and that Nova found him when she went over for her lesson that day. Rumors started to be made about why Nova was arrested but the only people who knew were the people involved in the cover up, Dr. Griffon, Marcus, and the Chancellor. 

Of course Jericho and Nova knew the truth too. But only one of them could speak about it and she was locked in solitary for the next two and a half years.

[hollyhomburg]

(1) I find everyone's reaction to your belief in Yoongi's not-straight-sexuality more than a bit telling. Kpop is full of hysterical gender/sexuality policing. Lot's of straight girls/women who don't mind the idea of 2 men sexually as long as their self-insert is inbetween. G-d forbid any depictions of actual male bi/pan/gay identity come about. The men ALWAYS have to be dominant. G-d forbid you write femdom, they clutch their pearls. Gotta split this into 2 asks as I'm running out of room.

(2) Then if you write a bisexual female as actually having sex with another woman, they freak out. And that's if you can find F/F/M in this fandom, I have found 3 whole fics with it. And the writers had loads of comments about how the readers weren't into other women. It's complete and utter crap. So it's not you, it's a whole bunch of jerks who aren't as "open-minded" as they think they are and can't handle their fantasy being messed with. I feel this needs to be said: I'm not straight, I'm bi.

(i know i said i wasn’t answering asks on this but i wanted to give your ask it’s day in the sun!), yeah its honestly like- so hard to be in this community as a queer person sometimes, because for all its faults- the twitter army community actually is pretty open. and at least there they don’t shame people for just talking bout their idols in a queer way. I saw a thread that was nearly identical to the one I posted- and it had easily 10k retweets. some hate comments sure but still. 

recently I've been thinking a lot about writing a story, IDK how many people saw the little snippet I posted with like, transman Jimin, transwoman Tae, non-binary Koo, non-binary reader. and then Hyung line who are just like aggressively supportive in the “if you touch a hair on my babies heads or miss gender them at all i will absolutely shank you” “Yoongi no one says shank anymore” “okay i will absolutely BEAT YOUR ASS FIRST” 

and the story would just deal with like- tae figuring out she’s trans, and then having a kind of camaraderie with the reader because at the beginning of the story she identifies fully as female. and through the story she kinda starts to feel like she can’t come out because she and tae are just- they’re the babygirls of the group- she loves the kinda bond she and tae have when they talk about makeup and fashion and feeling pretty and wanting to feel pretty.

 but the m/c slowly starts to realize that liking makeup and wanting to be pretty has nothing to do with actually identifying as a woman and it kinda builds and builds until Jungkook comes out as non-binary and she kinda like breaks- and no one really knows why except for Jimin. Jimin who knows how hard it is to be one thing but still love things that alienate you from your identity.

 but it ends up being mostly positive! she and Jungkook start to explore non-binaryness together. with some conversation about how its really hard to be considered a ‘real’ non-binary by the community sometimes if you started on the female side of things. like- no one questions jungkook’s non-binariness if he wears sweats one day and skirts the next. but the second the m/c does anything at all feminine they’re “just faking it for attention” and there is a sweet moment between the two of them where jungkook is like. “you’ll still be not a girl if you wear dresses in skirts, we know who you are and we get it- and if you decide you want to lean heavily one way or the other that's fine too- we’ll still love you”  

i just like the idea of Jimin and jin help the reader cope with dysphoria. and jin never minds when you flip between calling him “Hyung” and “oppa” from sentence to sentence. languages can be hard and honestly, he doesn't mind, he just feels soft and protective and so possessive over you four. the youngest of your group, it makes his heart swell with pride when he sees you happy. 

you have little parties where you all decide “for the next 4 hours presentation doesn't matter- I just don't want to wear a fucking binder anymore” and you do facemasks and Hobi does all of your nails because he has the steadiest hands in Bts. Namjoon is always super soft with Jimin making sure he gets up in time in the morning to take his T, being all soft and swabbing the area on his hips, finishing it up with a bandaid when he’s done. 

this page for me has always been about giving comfort to the people who couldn't find it in other places in the fandom. I’ve always been willing to unpack this kind of emotional story, the trauma, the nitty-gritty. and i really think that we need to be more comfortable discussing queerness and gender identity- personhood- without distilling it down to “this is wrong” vs “this is right” 

because once we start classifying things that way- we’re only a shade off from bigotry and I don't like the idea that I create content for people who are in some way homophobic. one thing certain to me- if you saw my posts about Yoongi and me saying “huh- seems like he’s probably not straight” and felt the need to send me hate because of it- you have internalized homophobia in some way shape or form. 

cuz for me honestly- when I see something I don't like on the internet that I don't like- I just have a little icky feeling- and then I move on. maybe if I'm particularly upset about it I’ll make a post about it on this page- away from where anyone can see it most of the time. but to feel so enraged by the simple insinuation that someone isn’t straight- when that insinuation comes from the person's own mouth- that you need to go try and tear down the person who just wanted to talk about it- that's homophobia. plain and simple.  it gives me the vibes of like- if you went to your parent and you were like “sometimes i feel like i might be a little gay” and they go “no you’re not.” like- not even letting you question or explore your identity. 

well anyway- this has been a long rant. don’t know if I’ll ever write that super queer BTS drabble but who knows. 

[supernatural-fangirl1967]

Keeping Secrets - Part 3

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Daddy Dean, FLUFF

Word Count: 4,130

Square Filled: Pillow Forts (Fluff Bingo)

Square Filled: Pillow Fort (Dean Bingo)

A/N: This was written for @spnfluffbingo​ and @spndeanbingo​. Please let me know what you think!

Series Masterlist

“Daddy, what are we going to do at your house?” Abby asks from her carseat.

“Well, what all do you like to do?” he asks her.

“Ummm, me and Mommy do girl things but I don’t think that you’ll like those.”

Dean chuckles. “Sweetheart, I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”

Abby gasps. “Even tea parties?”

“Especially tea parties,” Dean smiles as he tries to keep his eyes on the road. “Do you like camping?”

“Yeah!” Abby says excitedly. “Mommy puts a tent in the yard sometimes but we don’t sleep in it because there’s too many bugs.” Dean chuckles as Abby talks. “Is that what we’re going to do, Daddy?”

“Not today, sweetheart,” Dean tells her softly. “But I know something that we can do that’ll be just as fun.”

“What’s that?” she asks him.

When Dean pulls up at a red light, he turns in his seat a bit so that he can smirk at her. “You’ll see when we get to Daddy’s house.”

“Me and Mommy do this a bunch,” Abby says as she helps Dean carry blankets and pillows into the living room. Dean chuckles as he turns around to bend down to Abby’s height.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“Good,” Abby smiles widely. “I love doing this.”

“Good,” Dean smiles. “I promise that I’ll take you on a real camping trip sometime, alright?”

“That makes me happy.”

“Well, if you’re happy then I’m happy too,” Dean smiles as he takes the load out of Abby’s arms and drops it to the floor.

“Daddy, are we going to stay up all night?”

“We can if that’s what you want to do,” Dean tells her, knowing that she’ll probably be asleep before nine.

“Yep,” Abby giggles as she tries to help Dean. She moves the pillows around, tells him when she thinks that he’s making a mistake, and criticizes the way the blankets are being draped over various pieces of furniture. Dean sighs and he teasingly argues with Abby all while thinking about how he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“There,” Dean says as he looks over at Abby. “How’s that for a fort? You like it?”

“I love it!” Abby squeals excitedly as she claps her little hands. “Don’t tell Mommy, but you can make forts better than her.”

Dean chuckles as he holds one corner of the blanket up and motions for Abby to crawl on in. “Well, I might be better at making forts but I doubt that my cooking is as good as Mom’s, and unfortunately I can hear your stomach growling so what do you want to eat? Do you like grilled cheese?”

“Yeah! And ketchup soup,” Abby says, causing Dean to have to bite his lips together to keep himself from laughing.

“Sweetheart, you mean tomato soup?” Dean asks her.

“Duh,” Abby says as she gives Dean an innocent look.

“Well you sit and be a good girl and I will bring it to you, okay?”

“Okay, Daddy.”

Dean chuckles as he drops the corner of the blanket before turning to walk into the kitchen. Dean can hear Abby softly singing to herself and it causes his heart to melt. He’s never heard anything sound so sweet, and he honestly doesn’t know how on earth you’re surviving right now without her. He’s known about her a week and he wants nothing more than to be with her everyday.

“Here you go, sweetheart,” Dean says as he pokes his head underneath the blankets to hand her a plate. Abby stares down at it and Dean frowns as he crawls in beside of her with a plate for himself. “Abby, what’s wrong, sweetie?”

She looks at Dean and smiles widely at him. “You cut the crust off.”

“Yeah,” Dean says slowly. “Did you not want me to cut it off?”

“Yeah, I did,” Abby tells him softly. “But I didn’t ask you too and you still did it.”

Dean smiles at her. “I figured that you like it that way.”

“You’re a good Daddy,” Abby tells him as she bites into her sandwich.

“Well, I am glad that you think so, cutie.”

Abby giggles as Dean reaches over to gently mess her hair up. He smiles at her before reaching over to grab the remote. Abby’s little eyes stay glued to the T.V. screen as she eats, and Dean’s eyes stay glued to her.

“Daddy, can we sleep here?” Abby asks without looking over at Dean.

“If that’s what you want to do then we sure can,” Dean tells her. “I do want you to see your room before you fall asleep though, okay?”

“Okay,” she smiles widely.

When they’re both done eating, Dean grabs both of their plates to take them to the kitchen. He sets everything down in the sink and decides that cleaning up isn’t as important as being with Abby right now. Dean turns to walk to the living room, but he stops and jumps when he sees Abby standing there.

“Woah!” Dean hollers as he brings a hand up to his heart. “Sweetheart, you scared me.”

“I do that to Mommy a lot,” Abby giggles as Dean takes a deep breath.

“You’re like a ninja, kiddo,” Dean chuckles as he leans over to pick Abby up. She smiles widely at him as she wraps both of her little arms tightly around his neck.

“Daddy?”

“What, baby?”

“Can I see my room now so that we can sleep in the fort?”

“Alright,” Dean laughs as he turns to carry Abby down the hallway. He puts her down so that she can run to her room. “To the left, sweetheart.” Abby runs into Dean’s room and he chuckles as he walks in there to see what she’s up to. “Left, sweetheart. You went right.”

“Well, I don’t know my directions, Daddy,” Abby huffs.

“You don’t?” Dean asks her. “Didn’t we learn those a few days ago?”

“Well, I guess that you just aren’t a good teacher then,” Abby giggles.

Dean fakes a gasp. “Oh, you have had it, little girl.” Abby squeals as she takes off running out of the room, but Dean throws an arm out and picks her up.

“No, Daddy! No!” Abby laughs breathlessly as she pounds her little fists against Dean’s arm. “Please don’t tickle me!”

“I promise not to tickle you if you promise me that you didn’t mean what you just said,” Dean tells her.

“Okay,” Abby giggles. “I promise.”

Dean chuckles as he lets Abby go. She runs out into the hallway and stops when she sees her room.

“Daddy, is that mine?”

“Yeah, sweetheart, it’s yours,” Dean tells her softly. Abby walks into the room and Dean leans up against the doorframe as she explores this new space. “Do you like it?”

Abby nods her little head. “Did Mommy help you?”

“No,” Dean chuckles.

Abby turns around to gape at Dean. “Then how did you know what I like?”

Dean shrugs his shoulders a bit at her. “I took a guess.”

“Wow, you’re good at that,” Abby says, causing Dean to have to bite his lips and hold in a laugh once more. Abby gasps before running over to her bed and grabbing the stuffed puppy dog that’s sitting on her pillow. “I’ve got the same one at Mommy’s but she was washing it and I couldn’t bring it.”

“Now you’ve got it here,” Dean tells her, feeling proud that he caused that big smile on her face.

“Can I take it into the fort with me?”

“Of course, baby.”

Abby squeals as she takes off running towards the living room. Dean smiles as he follows her and she almost trips as she tries to duck underneath the blankets.

“Careful,” Dean chuckles as he ducks in behind her. Abby plops down on the couch cushions that Dean laid out on the floor before she motions at him to sit down beside of her.

“Here, Daddy,” Abby smiles as Dean settles in beside of her. Abby lays her little head over onto Dean’s shoulder and he smiles as he wraps an arm around her. When Abby’s body goes limp, Dean looks over at her to see that she is out of it. Dean carefully pulls her over into his lap and picks the remote up to turn the T.V. off. He gently lays Abby down onto one of the couch cushions that he has laid down on the ground before grabbing one of the many blankets that are laying around and draping it over her.

Dean pulls his phone out of his pocket and he smiles when he sees that he has a text from you.

How’s it going?

Dean looks down at Abby before he replies. She’s asleep.

Good. I was afraid that she’d keep you up all night.

Nah. She’s been good. You’ll probably hear all about it tomorrow.

I don’t doubt it. You call me if you need anything.

Will do, sweetheart.

Dean sets his phone down onto one of cushions before he lays down beside of Abby. He looks over at her little face and he can’t help the wide smile that spreads across his. He can’t believe that this amazing tiny human being is a part of him.

Dean’s eyes slide shut but he never drifts off into a deep sleep. He keeps waking up and looking over at Abby to see if she’s still alright. When his eyes pop open and he sees that Abby is awake and crying, his heart breaks.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Dean says softly as he reaches over to gently pull Abby tightly to him. “What’s wrong?”

“I miss Mommy,” Abby whines as she turns her little head to hide her face in Dean’s neck.

“Well, that’s okay, sweetheart,” Dean tells her softly. “You were so tired that you fell asleep before you could call Mommy to talk to her.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“Because I’m not supposed to miss Mommy when I’m with you.”

“Show me where it says that in the rule book,” Dean tells her. Abby looks at Dean and he gives her a soft smile. “We can call Momma if you want to.”

“What if Mommy’s asleep?”

“I don’t think that she cares if you need to talk to her,” Dean says as he pulls up your number to call you.

“Dean?”

“Hey, I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

“No. I haven’t been able to go to sleep anyways.”

Dean frowns a bit when he hears you sniff. “Well, we’ve got a little girl here who is missing her Momma.”

“Is she okay?”

“She’s fine, sweetheart. She wants to talk to you is all.”

“Okay.”

“Here you go, kiddo,” Dean tells Abby as he hands the phone over to her.

“Mommy?” Abby says as she curls up into Dean’s side. He wraps an arm around her as he leans in a bit so that he can hear what you’re saying.

“Hi, babygirl. Do you like staying over at Daddy’s?”

“Yeah,” Abby smiles softly. “We made a fort!”

“Well, it sounds like you’re having all kinds of fun.”

“Yeah. I like Daddy.” Dean’s heart swells and then breaks when a big frown crosses Abby’s face. “But I miss you, Mommy.”

“Aw, I miss you too but I want you to have fun at Daddy’s, okay? I’ll be okay and Daddy’s going to take good care of you.”

“I know,” Abby says. “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.”

Abby hands Dean’s phone to him and she give him a big smile. “I feel better now, Daddy.”

“Good,” Dean chuckles as he reaches a hand over to gently ruffle up Abby’s hair. “Why don’t you turn the T.V. on for a while so that I can talk to Mommy, okay?”

“Okay,” Abby nods. Dean smiles at Abby and he crawls out of the fort before bringing the phone up so that he can speak to you.

“I think that that helped her a lot,” Dean tells you as he walks down the hallway towards his room.

“She definitely likes being there with you, Dean,” you tell him truthfully. Dean can hear the tiredness and stress in your voice, and he is thankful that Abby was oblivious to it when she talked to you.

“Everything okay, sweetheart?” Dean asks you softly as he shuts his bedroom door a bit, leaving it cracked open so that he can hear if Abby needs him.

“Yeah,” you breathe out.

“Please don’t lie to me.”

You swallow hard. “You know how I got fired because I told my boss that I was going to have to pick Abby up from school?”

“Yeah,” Dean tells you.

“Well, I had an interview the other day and got a call today,” you tell him. “I didn’t get it.”

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” Dean breathes out.

“If it were only me then I could pull it off a while and move in with my parents if I had to to get on my feet. But it isn’t only me and me and my parents aren’t on good terms and I…”

“(Y/N), you do not have to worry about Abby,” Dean tells you softly. “That kid is going to be taken care of. I promise you that. I will do anything and everything that I can to help you.”

“No, Dean, I don’t want child support or anything like that,” you tell him. “As long as you take care of Abby when she’s there with you then we are good. I promise.”

“That’s not good enough for me though,” Dean tells you.

“Dean…”

“Look, (Y/N), I get that you’ve been taking care of Abby by yourself for five years without any help, but if you need it then you’ve gotta set your pride aside…”

“This isn’t about being too proud to accept your help, Dean,” you tell him truthfully.

“Then what is it about?”

You take a deep breath. “We can talk about this tomorrow when I pick Abby up, okay?”

“Okay,” Dean tells you softly.

“Thank you for the offer,” you tell him.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart,” Dean tells you softly. “But I want you to know that you’re not alone in this anymore. I’m here to help.”

“I know that, Dean, and I appreciate it,” you tell him truthfully.

“I know you do, (Y/N).”

“Go take care of our girl now, Dean,” you tell him softly. “She needs you more than I do.”

“Alright. You call if you need me for anything.”

“I will,” you tell Dean before hanging up the phone. Dean sighs and he takes a deep breath before walking out of his room and over towards the fort.

“You okay now, sweetheart?” Dean asks Abby softly as he pokes his head into the fort.

“I’m okay, Daddy,” Abby tells Dean as she looks over at him and she nods her head a bit. Dean gives her a soft smile before crawling over to lay down beside of her once more. Abby turns the T.V. off and she lays down beside of Dean, curling up into his side.

“You didn’t have to do that if you wanted to sit up a while, sweetheart,” Dean tells Abby softly as he presses a gentle kiss to her head.

“That’s okay, Daddy,” Abby whispers as her little eyes meet his. “I like doing this. You make me feel safe.”

Dean’s heart melts a bit. “I love you, babygirl.”

“I love you too, Daddy,” Abby says softly as her little eyes drift shut. Dean presses his lips firmly to her forehead before he tightens his grip on her.

“Sweet dreams, baby,” Dean whispers to her as he lets himself drift off to sleep. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Daddy, can we get icecream?” Abby asks Dean as he straps her into her carseat.

“You do not need icecream,” Dean chuckles as he pulls away to shut the door.

“Please, Daddy,” Abby begs as Dean take his seat behind the wheel.

“Honey, I have to take you home to Momma.”

“But I thought that Mommy was going to pick me up at your house.”

“Well, sweetheart, she was but Mommy texted me and told me that she needed me to bring you home.”

“Oh,” Abby sighs disappointedly. “Daddy?”

“What, babygirl?”

“Why can’t you live with me and Mommy?”

Dean takes a deep breath. “Sweetheart, why don’t we talk about this another day, okay?”

Abby huffs as she crosses her little arms. “That’s what Mommy tells me.”

Dean chuckles as he turns a bit in his seat to see Abby pouting. “Gosh, you look like your Mom when you do that, kid.” Abby fakes a whimper and Dean can’t help but to laugh a bit at her. “You’re cute, sweetheart, but it is going to take a lot more than that to crack me.”

When Dean pulls up in your driveway and turns around to look at Abby, his heart breaks when he sees that she really is crying now.

“Oh, honey,” Dean sighs as he gets out of the car and goes to get Abby out of her carseat. Abby grips tightly onto Dean’s shirt as he grabs her bag and shuts the door. She lets out a sob into Dean’s neck as he carries her towards your front porch.

“Please, Daddy,” Abby whines. “Don’t leave me.”

“What’s wrong?” you frown as you walk out your front door.

“Someone isn’t too happy about me having to bring her home,” Dean tells you as he hands Abby over to you.

“No, Daddy!” Abby whines as she clings tightly onto Dean. “Please, Daddy.”

“Honey, you’ve gotta let Momma take you but I’ll see you in class, okay?”

“No,” she whines. “I want you to stay with me and Mommy.”

“Babygirl, I can’t,” Dean tells her as he leans in to kiss her. “Be good for Momma.”

“Okay,” Abby sniffs.

“I love you.”

Abby opens up her little mouth to say something, but then her little face scrunches up and a high-pitched whine escapes her as she begins to cry.

“Oh, please don’t cry,” Dean tells her as his heart breaks.

“I’ll take her in and get her calmed down,” you tell Dean as you turn to walk inside.

“(Y/N),” Dean says as he reaches out to gently grab onto your arm. “Is everything okay?” he asks you softly. “I mean, do you need to talk about what you mentioned to me over the phone yesterday?”

“Not right now, Dean,” you tell him. “I need to get Abby calmed down first.”

“I understand,” Dean nods. “You said while ago that you couldn’t pick Abby up because you were having car trouble. Do you want me to look at it?”

“Maybe another day, Dean,” you tell him.

“Okay,” he nods. “Call me if you need me for anything though. Alright, sweetheart?”

“Okay,” you tell Dean as you nod and give him a small smile. Dean gives you a sad smile as he reaches out to gently run a hand over Abby’s little head.

“Be good for Momma,” Dean tells her softly before he turns around to walk off.

“Abby, honey, please calm down,” you whisper softly to her as you carry her inside the house. “Daddy hat to go home, but Mommy’s got you now.”

“I know,” Abby whines as you walk over to sit down on the couch. “But I want Daddy too.”

“I know you do, baby, but Daddy doesn’t live here.”

“But he can,” Abby sniffs.

You pull Abby away a bit so that you can see her face. “Honey, I know that you wish that you could have me and Daddy both here with you but you have to understand that it can’t be that way.”

“But why not?”

You take a deep breath. “Abby, honey…”

“Do you love Daddy?”

“Abby…”

“Do you?”

There’s no way that you can lie to her with that look that she’s giving you. “Yeah,” you breathe out. “I do.”

“Then why can’t he live here and be with us, Mommy?”

“Abby, honey, it’s complicated.”

“Don’t say that just because you don’t want me to ask.”

“Abby, you know that you can ask Mommy anything that you want,” you tell her truthfully. “It isn’t that I don’t want to answer you, baby, but I don’t want Daddy to think that I only told him about you because I want anything from him. Do you understand?”

Abby shrugs her little shoulders a bit at you. “I guess so.”

“Look at me, honey,” you tell her softly. “Before you were born, me and Daddy were in love with each other.”

“You were?” Abby asks you as her little eyes widen a bit at you.

“We were,” you say and you smile softly at her. “When Mommy found out about you I had to keep it a secret from Daddy.”

“Why? Were you afraid that he wouldn’t love me?”

“Oh, no, sweetie,” you tell her softly as you gently push some of her hair out of her face. “When I found out that I was pregnant with you, I knew that Daddy would love you so much. But my Dad thought that I was going to ruin Daddy’s life if I told him about you.”

“Am I that bad?”

“No, babygirl, but me and Daddy were still kids ourselves and your Daddy had so many things that he wanted to do and if I had told him about you then he would have pushed aside all of his dreams to be with us.”

“You didn’t want him to be with us?”

“Of course I did, Abby. Honestly, I wanted so bad to tell Daddy about you and yet I let my parents talk me out of it,” you tell her. “I don’t want Daddy to think that I told him about you just to make him want me or something. I don’t want him to think that I’m using you to try and get him to be with me.”

“Daddy won’t think that, Mommy.”

“Abby, honey, this is just how things have to be for right now.”

Abby huffs at you and she crosses her little arms at you. “Mommy.”

“Please do not argue with me about this, babygirl,” you tell her. “Mommy has a headache and I know that you’re upset about this but there’s nothing that I can do about this.”

“Call Daddy and tell him that you love him.”

“Did you not listen to anything that I just told you?” you ask her.

“Yeah, but I…”

“Abby, please drop it,” you beg her.

She pouts at you. “I want Daddy.”

“I know you do, baby,” you tell Abby softly as you pull her in and hold her tightly to you. “Are you mad at me?”

“No,” Abby sniffs. You press a kiss to her head before standing up off of the couch with her.

“What do you say you and me go pick out some junk food and a good movie, then curl up on the couch and have a movie night?”

“Okay,” Abby nods, perking up a bit at the thought. “Hey, Mommy?”

“What, sweetie?”

“Me and Daddy made a fort and we slept in it!”

You fake a gasp as you pull away a bit so that you can see her face. “You didn’t.”

“We did!” Abby giggles.

“Well, I bet Daddy’s forts are nothing like mine and yours.”

“No,” Abby smiles at you. “They’re better.”

“You little traitor!” you laugh. Abby lets out a loud squeal as you tickle her while you carry her into the kitchen. Abby smiles widely at you as you sit her down onto the kitchen counter.

“Mommy?”

“What, babygirl?”

Abby takes a deep breath. “I understand why we can’t talk about it.”

You give her a soft smile. “It isn’t that we can’t talk about it, Abby, but I don’t feel like it right now, okay? Mommy’s just thankful that she doesn’t have to do this by herself. I don’t want to do anything to ruin that.”

“Okay,” Abby nods.

“And I understand why you’re upset about it,” you tell her truthfully. “I know that you love your Daddy.”

“A lot,” Abby tells you softly as her little eyes light up.

“We’ll figure this out, okay?” you tell Abby as you lean over to press a kiss to her head. “I know that it’s a little different now that you won’t always be with me, but we’ll be okay.”

“I know, Mommy,” she smiles.

You turn to open up one of the cabinet doors, taking the opportunity to let a few of your tears fall down your cheeks. They’ve been hanging on for dear life ever since you started talking to Abby, because you don’t know if everything is actually going to be okay or not.

Tags: @polina-93 @campingmonkey @justanotherwinchester @squirrelnotsam @adoptdontshoppets @imaginationisgrowth @deanwanddamons @hobby27 @cookiechipdough @akshi8278 @flamencodiva

[sapphicmsmarvel]

JJ: Dear Sister

TW: drug abuse, mentions of depression and anxiety and mentions of sexual assault. Under the cut. 

im really proud of this one, I actually created a story! like with a plot and motive, I really like it! 

Being in the BAU and being away from your family was both a blessing and a curse, you were away from your mom and dad, your hometown and hometown friends. But the plus was, you were away from your sister. 

Your half-sister was a full on piece of shit, now she wasn’t a piece of shit because she’s an addict (which is what most people assume when you say you don’t like your sister because then they find out she’s an addict and are like “well she needs your support”). Being an addict does not make her a shitty person because you know it’s a mental illness and these people need help.

Your sister is just a piece of shit, because her personality sucks. Not because of the drugs. 

(a little author's note because I have Anxiety, addicts deserve all the help they can get and should never be put down for their mental illness. This sister just sucks, she is not a bad human being because of her being addicted to drugs. Okay continue)

You sister, Molly, used your father for his money to the point where even you had to intervene. She abandoned her kids to run off with some guy then had your dad come get her out of trouble, she has been arrested multiple times. She never takes responsibility for her actions and blames everyone else.

Part of recovery is taking responsibility and righting your wrongs. She on the other hand makes the wrongs worse by acting like a child when she is 30 years old.  

So to escape her nagging and just the horrible mental space you get in whenever she’s around, you moved out to D.C. You went to the FBI academy, went back home to celebrate (which she didn’t come to when she was invited) and then you went back to work at Quantico. 

All your anxieties about her left pretty soon after starting at your job. You knew she wouldn’t call you for help anymore considering you worked for the FBI, also met some amazing people.

Including your wonderful, beautiful girlfriend, JJ. 

JJ had just gotten divorced when she met you, she was apprehensive at the thought of dating someone so soon, especially a girl, she’s always been bi but never dated a girl. But she woman’d up and asked you out. 

Years flew by of you two dating, the kids loved you so much, JJ was shocked at how good you were with kids when to her knowledge, you were an only child. But, you felt guilt curdle in your gut for not telling her. So one night when the boys were finally in bed, you told her everything. From being the youngest, to dealing with your sister's addiction, your assault, your depression and anxiety, you told her the complete story. Every. Single. Chapter. 

She had barely seen you cry, but she saw you bawl at this. She held you and calmed you down, you explained your fear of being judged for Molly’s actions because people might think you are the same to her just because you are half-sisters. You apologized for keeping it from her for years into your relationship.

“Yes, I wish you would have told me but not because I ‘deserve’ to know everything about your past. Because you were suffering in silence, part of being girlfriends is talking about things and getting support from each other. I love you, Y/N. That’ll never change.” She explained. “Also I want to meet your family, I want to meet the strong daughters of hers and be a part of their lives just like you are a part of Henry and Michaels.” 

The next week you two scheduled a visit out there with the kids, you flew back to your home state, legs bouncing anxiously the entire time, she held your hand the whole way. 

The visit went really well, your nieces were obviously protective of you because you were their mother figure while Molly was in rehab and countless relapses. You took care of them and they were very protective over their aunt. 

But, they loved JJ and the boys, as did your entire family. 

When you two went back to work, Morgan speculated that you eloped because of how glowy and light you two seemed. JJ explained that the two of you were just happy and got a mental break to yourselves. 

Your nieces flew out to visit the next year, then JJ proposed the next week. Life was going great, until you got a call from one of Molly’s friends, “what’s wrong?” You answered, JJ looking up from the dining room table worriedly. 

“Molly is with the FBI,” she whispered as if the FBI was listening. 

Your stomach sank, “what do you mean?” 

“..I shouldn’t be telling you.” “You called me Katy!” You yelled, your father's anger coming out. “What did she do that got the FBI involved?” Your phone buzzed again which meant you were getting another call, unfortunately this one was more important. You looked to see JJ on the phone. 

Your thoughts went to the worse, Molly is at Quantico. But JJ was probably just talking to her mom. Her mom called a lot, yeah, that had to be it. 

“She was running a drug scheme and got busted as well as several felonies.” 

“Shit.” You sighed, “do you know where the bureau she’s located at is?” 

“Some place called Quantico.” 

No. No. No. No. 

---------------------------------------------------------

The drive to Quantico was awful and anxiety ridden, JJ held your hand as she drove, the boys were at Will’s. You were calling your dad, telling him not to tell the girls until you know more  because they lived with him. JJ explained that the phone call was Hotch saying the interrogation with your sister was happening and they wanted two of their best agents there. The buzzing during the phone call was Rossi. They didn’t know it was your sister, your last name was common, you’ve run into plenty of people in your line of work with your last name. 

But you were told that you two looked similar, and they’re all smart but you know Reid will put it together before anyone else. Hell, he probably already has. 

You pulled up to the building, there were a bunch of cop cars as well as other Agent vehicles. JJ didn’t hold your hand on the way up to where they all were, she didn’t want it to be obvious that you were in emotional turmoil. 

You met them right before the interrogation room, you looked into the window, she looked horrible. Obviously, she was using again, she had all the signs, every memory from high school came back. Seeing her so skinny and malnourished from the drugs. Her hair was lackluster, it was flat and dull in color, her skin was deathly pale and had many skin breakouts due to how shot her entire system is. 

Garcia filled all of you in everything she’s done. You already knew this though, Hotch gave you a weird look because you wouldn’t stop staring off into space (which showed your anxiety was spiraling bad). You also didn’t chime to help, you just shut down. 

Hotch moved to behind you and touched your back lightly, “can I see you for a moment?” You two slipped out without making it obvious, you were sure none of them noticed but Hotch knows you like a daughter. 

He shut the door to his office, “what’s going on, Y/N?”

You shrugged, “nothing.” 

“I know you’re lying, did you and JJ have a fight that’s distracting you? Is your mental health acting up again?”

“No, God, No. And You know if we have problems we let them go at work to get things done.” You said defensively. 

“Well, both of you are pretty closed off right now, usually you two never leave each other's sides during cases. You aren’t being attentive and aren’t chiming in. If it’s not your mental health or JJ, what is it?” 

You bit your lip nervously, “that woman in there, she’s my half-sister.” 

Well, it was clear he wasn’t expecting that, “It’s not in your file that you have siblings.” “That part was optional, I left it blank for a reason.” 

“What happened?” He asked gently. 

“She chose that life over her family, over her children. We paid for so many facilities and got her help multiple times. She threw it all away. I can’t forgive her for that.” 

He nodded, “think you can go back in there?”

“I want that bitch locked away, Hotch. If you allow me to have that personal vendetta, then yes I want to go back there.” You said, determined. The fire in you igniting more. You would make sure she never saw her kids again. 

He nodded and gestured towards the door, “lead the way.” -------------------------------------------

“I want to go in there to interrogate her.” You spoke, your voice void of any emotion, you got really good at hiding your emotions. Especially around her. 

Rossi nodded, oblivious to the looks JJ was giving you, “sounds like a plan to me, you are the toughest I feel like right next to Hotch and Morgan.” 

You smiled in response, it was light praise to you. 

“Hey Y/N?” Reid asked. 

“Yeah?” You looked at him, pushing a stray hair that fell in your face back. 

“She looks a lot like you, and has the same last name.” He said gently. 

“Yes, she’s my half-sister, Reid.” You said, looking at the entire team's reactions. 

To say they were shocked would be an understatement. 

“Are you sure you should go in there then?” Morgan asked. 

You nodded, “I can do it. I don’t really care if she gets locked away. In fact, I think everyone in my family will be better off.” 

Nobody said anything at your words, then Emily spoke, “go get the confession.” 

---------------------------------------------

You stood outside the door, JJ came up and gave you a kiss, “you got this, babygirl.” 

You blushed, then groaned, “great now I’m gonna be all flustered.” 

She laughed, it made your heart lighter, “I love you.”

“I love you.” You said back, she kissed you again and walked away.

You waited a few moments to open the door, you could do this.

When you opened it, she looked up to see who it was, she saw you and gave you a confused look, “Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“If you came to my graduation party, you would know this is where I worked.” You said, like she was stupid. 

“I knew you were in the FBI at least.” “Considering all the laws you’ve broken, I wouldn’t have thought so.” You threw the file on the table, “I’ve already told them about everything you did to my family, to your children. They aren’t so happy and everybody here is dedicated to locking you away. You can’t play the victim card anymore.” You spoke gently, trying to keep nerves out of your voice. 

“Traitor.” She hissed. 

“Hm, you knew you had a relative in the FBI yet you still kept doing bad things, you also have two kids you left for a crime ring so I don't think I’m the traitor here.” You said sitting across from her, you ignored the anxiety in your veins, you wanted to fiddle with your engagement ring but didn’t really wanna talk about JJ with this woman. 

“Tell me what happened,” You leveled her with a look, that same look that your father would give her, the ‘i’m disappointed’ look, she had some feelings, and that look usually worked. “Why would I tell you?” You shrugged, “I don’t know, you bragged about getting kidnapped before so I wonder what you’ll brag about now, maybe seeing the inside of Quantico, maybe how they tried to break you and you resisted.”

“They sent my baby sister in to intimidate me,” she scoffed, “pathetic.” 

“Oh that isn’t my job.” You smiled, you were going to enjoy this. 

“Whose job is it?” She deadpanned, not having any of your shit, but you didn’t care. It was too much fun. 

“The prison guard outside who’s waiting to guide you to prison.” You shrugged.You could feel the ‘Hotch’ look through the glass for telling her so much. 

But you knew how to scare her, how to make her feel like shit. Guilt tripping was the best, hearing her lies, it was almost comical at how ridiculous they were. 

“Your daughters are doing great by the way, they stayed here with me for a week.” It was a great week, Hotch granted you and JJ time off to spend time with them and the boys. JJ even asked for their permission to marry you, she proposed the next week on your anniversary.

She sighed and looked at the mirror, it was like she was staring down your team on the other side. 

You sat in silence for a few minutes, before she spoke. “I’m sorry.” “No.” You simply said, shaking your head. 

“No?” She asked. 

“Don’t say you’re sorry just to say it, I don’t want some apology, you’re going to prison no matter what.” You shrugged. You forbade your emotions getting involved right now. JJ and the team were working overtime to get this confession out in time. 

“Bullshit, I am not.” She insisted, her voice going up a couple octaves. She was nervous. 

“What? You think you’re just gonna walk out of here? You have several federal offenses.” You opened her file, “carjacking, credit card fraud and identity theft alone are going to be up to 30 years in prison.” 

“There’s no proof.” She was just spitting stuff out at this point, she was getting frazzled. Her eyes, eyes that you both shared from your father, were wide and full of fear. 

“There are countless video files as well as credit card traces and millions of other traces. You’ve been on the list for years it seems.” You said, your eyes scanning over everything, every single mugshot, or street camera shot. All the proof was in the folder, you just needed a confession. 

“I know you deal, so just confess and we can both get out of this awkward family reunion.” You spoke, your head resting against your hand.

Her eyes caught on the diamond, “you married?”

“Engaged.” You said calmly. 

“What’s his name?” You rolled your eyes. “You know I’m gay, why do you keep insisiting that I’m into men?” “Oh yeah because you were assaulted, got it.” She acted like she just solved the greatest mystery. 

Your stomach sank even further, “Your ignorance is baffling.”

“Ignorance?”

“Yup, you criticize other people's lives and then once someone throws it back at you, you get offended. You are the queen of hypocrites.” you paused, “that’s what your drug lord name should’ve been.”

“..What?”

“The Hypocrite Queen, has a bite to it, doesn’t it?” You tilted your head, feeling her vibes out. 

“What?” She asked, her voice trembling. She was scared. 

Good. A dark part of you whispered. 

“Sure it doesn’t have as much fire as The Bite. But it’ll do.” You said, nonchalant. As if discussing paint colors. 

“How do you know about any of this?”

You smiled, enjoying her fear and the fact that you’re winning. “You know, I wonder what Adam Davis would think about all of this, or Betty Walsh, Allie Simmers, Jaden Carsdale, Julia Brewermen.” You named off just a few of the people her drugs killed. 

“I don’t know who those people are.” Her voice was barely above a whisper and she couldn’t make eye contact. 

You nodded, “those are the people you killed.” “Drugs killed them.” She clarified without thinking. 

The door behind you opened, you turned to see JJ, “we need you in Garcia’s office.” It was a horrible lie, but you knew it was all done. You nodded, you started getting up when you heard Molly speak. 

“What about family, sissy?”

“That’s rich coming from you, you are the same woman who abandoned her children for some dude you met two days before you left.”

“That was the addiction.”

“No it wasn’t, you did the same thing when you were fifteen, with a twenty six year old might I add; right before you got pregnant with your first born. You weren’t addicted then, so don't blame an addiction you use as a crutch to get through life. Being an addict doesn’t mean you are automatically pardoned from everything you ‘ve done, to me, to dad, to your two kids who are fifteen years old and already know that they never want to see you again.”

“What have I done to you?” She had the nerve to look heartbroken.

Manipulative bitch

“Tried to manipulate me to say I took dads alcohol when I was fourteen, I told you I was gay and you asked if I was gay because I was assaulted. You used my mom and your dad for money, you lied to us, multiple times about so many things that I’ve lost count. You hurt people for your own gain, you are the most selfish person I’ve ever met. You know, I went into a career where I deal with horrible people and now I know why I’m so good at it, because I grew up dealing with a horrible person that was close to me. Someone who hurt multiple people that I love-” “I get it, I hurt people-” “I’m not done! You’ve judged me my entire life and treated me poorly and now, I get to enjoy the fact that I get to watch you get put behind bars forever. You will never see your children again, you will never use our family for money, and people will no longer pity you.” 

You walked out without another word, JJ was right there, she gripped your hand because she knew you needed the support. 

With Molly locked away, you could finally breathe and feel free from her problems. You made all the necessary phone calls to your dad. Booked a flight to go and explain everything to your nieces. 

JJ would be by your side through it all.